#and she was like “is that a juul?” and i was just. so embarrassed. vaping feels so embarrasing especially since im almost 30 lmfao

[lemonsandmorelemons]

Also. While I'm posting personal stuff. I've pretty much entirely quit vaping. yeah I switched to nic pouches instead but after two years that shit it's so nice and a small victory

[biggest-stupidhead]

Bad Timing (Levi x reader) Part 2

Summary: How do you explain to your friends that you’re falling for your big brother’s best friend? 

word count: 6.3K 

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You followed Levi down the stairs, keeping a bit of distance between you as to not invade his space and risk a sharp pinch or shove. Yeah no definitely not getting any closer, he'd demonstrated his distaste for your closeness early on in your relationship. Memories from when you were in 6th grade and Erwin and Levi were 8th graders flooded your mind. It had been the year that the pair became partners in crime, Erwin had Levi over frequently and you would often find yourself being chased around the house by the boys. One time in particular, your mother was out working and the boys were having a sleepover, not just the two of them but with two other friends of Erwin's as well,Nile and Mike were there as well. You remembered being in the kitchen when they emerged from the basement after a particularly long video game session, and asking them innocently if you could join. Erwin scoffed and told you to go back to your room or else. You responded with: "make me." and they did. Levi was closest and you recalled being dragged across the kitchen floor and up the stairs, giving you an awful carpet burn, and then being promptly tossed into your room. The boys laughed at the display as Mike slammed your door behind you and held the knob so you couldn't escape. You recalled the embarrassment burning on your cheeks as you inspected the rug burn on your side and back, and to your horror you realized that meant your shirt had ridden up and all those boys had seen your stomach. You shook your head at the memory, despite all the torment somehow you couldn't bring yourself to despise Levi, his presence was simultaneously unnerving and calming to a degree.

By the time you had pulled yourself out of your reverie you and Levi were already in the parking lot, you still remained a couple steps behind Levi who was focused on spinning his keys around his index finger.

"On a scale of one to ten how fucked up do you think shitty-glasses is going to get tonight?" Levi broke the silence, sparing you a glance over his shoulder. Slightly taken aback by his initiation of conversation you took a moment to collect your thoughts before responding.

"Hm, probably a solid six, she seemed pretty excited." you said thoughtfully as Levi unlocked his car and climbed into the front. A moment of hesitation passed over you before opening the back passenger side door, you had never ridden in a car alone with Levi before.

"What are you doing?" he asked, gripping the headrest of the passenger seat as he turned to look back at you.

"Oh, um I wasn't sure if you wanted me to.." you said awkwardly as you sat halfway in the car.

"Sit up front." he said, his grey eyes cold and unnerving as ever. You nodded quickly climbing into the front before he changed his mind. He turned his keys in the ignition and the car roared to life. You couldn't help but notice that his hand remained on the back of your headrest as he turned around to check behind the vehicle before backing out. You leaned back in the seat as you lifted your hips to get into your back pocket for your phone. Levi finally removed his hand to shift the gear into drive. You had to admit, he had nice hands, his fingernails were usually painted black, but sometimes he would switch up the color even if they would end up chipped in a couple days. He also always made sure to wear rings on at least one of his hands. You let your eyes wander up his right forearm which happened to have his one and only tattoo on it, a snake that wrapped around his forearm, head beginning at his wrist and ending at his elbow. 

Levi pretended not to notice the way your gaze lingered on his tattoo, he wondered if you liked tattoos, he knew you liked piercings, your ears were covered with them. He flexed his arm as he shifted his gear when he pulled out of the campus. His music as always was too loud to allow conversation so you just leaned back and closed your eyes. You were just starting to relax when your nose was assaulted by the strong odor of a fruity scent. Cracking an eye open you looked over to see the remains of Levi's smoke blow out his cracked window. Once again he held his juul out to you. You pursed your lips in thought, no you usually didn't vape, but this was one of the rare moments that Levi seemed to acknowledge your existence so you accepted. You inhaled the vapor with less of a struggle this time and managed to blow the smoke out of your own window. Levi didn't hold his hand out for his juul back so you awkwardly dangled the e cigarette over the cup holders with a loose grip.

"Just set it on my lap." Levi grunted as he focused on shifting gears again. You blinked, momentarily taken aback before you dropped the device onto his lap. He nodded his thanks, keeping his silver eyes on the road. Levi was driving a bit slower than he normally does, because of how dark the night had become, suddenly his phone rang without a second thought he answered the phone.

"Hello...Yeah, I can send you the location once I get there.... just bring the chasers.....yep." and with that he hung up, your curious (e/c) eyes watched him as he tightened his grip on the wheel. He hated how you stared,

"You've got a staring problem." he mumbled as he turned into your drive way. You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest as you leaned back, making a point to face the road.

"I do not...Who were you on the phone with?" you asked as he pulled into his usual space.

"Not that it's any of your business but...Petra." he said as he turned the keys, the car sputtered off, plunging your drive way into darkness.

"I think it becomes my business when you invite people over to my house." you replied cooly, gathering your purse and keys before climbing out into the dark. You walked briskly to the front door and quickly unlocked it, kicking off the vans and nudging them on the small rug that you'd had for years. Levi closed the door behind him before doing the same as you, pausing after he finished removing his shoes to watch you disappear around the corner into the kitchen. He frowned after you when he noticed your purse on the ground under neath the hooks where it usually hung. Sometimes you really were hopeless, he stooped down to rehang the bag. He heard you washing dishes and cupboards opening and closing. Finally you peeked your head around the corner to see if he was there.

"Well, are you going to come in?" you asked, eyebrows pinching as you watched him spare a quick glance over his shoulder.

"Sorry I was too busy cleaning up after you." he hissed as he padded into the kitchen and dropped onto a stool. You frowned at him as you wiped your hands on a hand towel, "I'm going to go change." you stated as you dropped the towel onto the counter carelessly. Levi wrinkled his nose in disgust at the sight of the dirty towel, he watched you stalk up the stairs, your phone in your face. Just as he sat down the door bell rang, with a small sigh he stood up and answered the door. Petra Ral stood on the other side, two grocery bags in her hands, being the gentleman he was Levi took one of the bags as she walked in.

"Oh thank you Levi!" she smiled up at him, being one of the few people shorter than he was. He grunted and led her into the kitchen where they began setting out the chasers. You tensed, pausing at the sound of Petra Ral and Levi exchanging pleasantries in your kitchen. It wasn't that you hated Petra, you just weren't in the same circle. She was nice enough, being only a year older than you, she was a junior this year, one of the most popular ones at that. The few interactions the both of you had shared were painfully awkward and clumsy to say the least. She often ended up at the same gatherings as you and often tried to talk to you. You finished pulling on the pair of fuzzy socks and gathered your courage. Walking slowly down the stairs you found Levi and Petra in the kitchen setting out solo cups and handles of liquor alongside the chasers. They hadn't seen you yet, too busy unpacking the goods to notice you at the bottom of the stairs. Just when you thought you'd escape unscathed, your phone rang as you stood at the top of the basement stairs. The feeling of two pairs of eyes burned a hole into your back as you answered.

"Erwin hey! Boy am I glad to hear from you! How was the game?" you asked, loud enough for the pair to hear as you turned around and made a beeline for the front door.

"Uhhhh, I can call back if you were waiting to hear from Erwin..." Jean said awkwardly.

"No no things are fine here!" you said loudly as you slammed the front door shut behind you.

"okay...." the poor boy said quietly.

"Hey sorry about that, Levi was in the kitchen and he's in a shitty mood, doesn't want me having people over or some bull shit." you said, popping a hip out to prop yourself against the side of the house.

"Uh, isn't the party at your house?" Jean asked.

"Yeah but Erwin is in charge and since Erwin isn't here my mom put Levi in charge so here we are." you sighed as you knocked your head back against the siding.

"Oh, you want to come around mine then? We could just drink some of my mom's wine and watch The Office or some shit." Jean purposed hopefully. You shook your head, even though he couldn't see it.

"Can't. I already told Mikasa, Armin, and Eren they could come over." you responded.

"Oh gottcha. Well what time should I come over then?" he asked eagerly.

"Now, please come over now before Levi and Petra start making out in my kitchen." you begged, a small chuckle escaping your lips. He laughed with you, a clear image of his smile in your mind at the sound of his hearty laugh.

"Okay I'll be there in 5." he said, and with that you hung up. You hurried back inside, the cold was beginning to seep into your bones. Levi and Petra remained in the kitchen, Petra was dumping a bag of chex mix into a large bowl as you entered the room. Levi was leaned against the counter, his hips facing Petra as they spoke about school.

"-Yeah I know! The SAT was a lot harder than I expected, I'm glad you helped me study for it!" she spoke in a sweet tone. Levi just grunted and turned to face you,

"Who was that?" he asked bluntly. You licked your lips and blinked rapidly.

"Wha-what do you mean? It was Erwin." you said, your brows pinching together as you squirmed under Levi's acidic gaze.

"Erwin my ass, he never calls you." he huffed, turning his attention back to Petra.

"He's my brother of course he calls me." you snapped, turning to get a cup out of the cupboard for some water.

"Yeah right." he said, unamused.

"Besides why do you want to know who's calling me?" you asked, a triumphant grin curling onto your lips. Petra raised a brow and looked between you and Levi. Honestly this was the first time she had seen you both interact and she was very confused what the dynamic was here.

"I don't." he huffed, his own face screwing up in annoyance as he watched a smug expression settle onto your features.

"Good, then keep your head out of my ass." you said as you walked back into the front of the house, just as Levi noticed a pair of headlights sweeping up the drive. His face fell further into a scowl at the sight of a second pair close behind the first. Before he could go ask you who was here the front door opened to reveal Jean. Peering around Jean, Levi could recognize the other trio of brats from earlier walking into the house. You welcomed them inside and after they had removed their shoes, ushered them through the front room, where they all stood in the kitchen as you scurried to collect the drinks and snacks they brought.

"So what movie?" you asked as Mikasa began working on opening the wine.

"I was thinking Halloween." Armin said, those bright baby blues sparkling even in the fluorescent lighting.

"Sounds good." you answered as you began pouring wine into red solo cups and handing them out. Levi watched with hard eyes as you finished off the bottle, handing the last cup to Jean.

"What are you drinking?" Jean asked as you tossed the bottle into the recycling.

"Oh I'm going to have a rum and coke." you said as you moved to open the handle of Captain Morgan . Jean nodded, pleased with your answer. As you busied yourself with mixing your drink you motioned for the bunch to retreat into the basement, to which they happily obliged. Once all the kids were out of ear shot Levi whirled on you.

"Too fucking many brat." he snarled, Petra winced and pretended to busy herself in the living room.

"My fucking house old man." you hissed back as you shoved past him with your drink. Levi's gaze burned holes into your back as you retreated to the basement and out of his sight. Once Petra was sure you were gone she returned to the kitchen.

"I mean as long as they stay in the basement I'm sure everything will be fine." she said soothingly, her hand daring to rest on his elbow. His gaze was fixed on the door to the stairs, the lights shut off and the sound of chatter floated up the stairs. He turned to face Petra now, having to slightly look down, not something he got to do often.

"You're right, let's finish getting ready." he said, trying his best to return the girl's soft gaze. Maybe if he played this right he could get laid. The thought crossed his mind as he watched Petra turn back to filling up snack bowls. Nah, not tonight, not when all those shits were in the house. He let his mind wander back to the crowd and remembered the sight of Mikasa, they didn't get along, not at all. In fact just the sight of her reminded him of what a solid uppercut she had. The memory of her fist connecting with his jaw as he tried to pull you away from those brats made his cheek pulse. He opened and closed his mouth subconsciously at the memory. Just as he was about to continue wiping down the counters, the front door opened and in came Nanaba and Hange. Longtime best friends, closely followed by Moblit, a junior who was starry-eyed for Hange despite her relationship with Erwin. Mike and Erwin would come together from the game, and hopefully that would be it. Just when Levi was about to warn Hange about all the brats in the basement, you came running up the stairs. Your phone was pressed to your ear as you made a dash for the front door. Levi barely heard your conversation but what he did hear was more than enough.

"-NO Erwin please God no, they're so mean, I swear to God if you bring those brutes here I'll..." you cut yourself off as you slammed the front door closed again.

"Woah, someone is on edge." Nanaba ribbed Hange as the pair came into the kitchen, again with Moblit close behind, just happy to be in Hange's presence. Hange was focused on the door with narrowed eyes, her glasses had been pushed back on top of her head. Petra was talking to Moblit, the pair being the same age seemed to get along quite well, Nanaba favored being by Hange, but unlike the redhead, her attention was fixed on the basement door. A loud thump from the basement made Levi's blood pressure spike.

"Who all is down there?" Nanaba asked, gesturing towards the basement as another yelp carried up the stairs closely followed by yet another thump.

"There's four people down there." Petra answered, a sweet smile glued onto her face.

"Not people, messy inconsiderate brats." Levi hissed as he moved to go give those idiots a stern talking to. Before he could make it very far Hange stuck an arm out and caught him, her head still turned to the front door where you stood with your back to the growing crowd, speaking in a hushed tone. He paused to take in the rigidness of your posture, your white knuckled grip on the phone was a bit concerning.

"I'll go see what's up." Hange said before dropping her arm and turning to approach you. The first attempt was futile, you waved her off and took a few steps away from her. But when Hange reached out and caught your shoulder, you turned and looked up at her with wide, almost angry eyes. He watched you hang up and then exchange a few hushed words with Hange. Your shoulder sagged and you nodded as Hange spoke. Probably yet another one of your tantrums, they had been happening more frequently in the past year or so. Erwin mentioned how you suddenly would lash out at him or other family members, although your mother seemed to be untouched as of the last time he had heard. Finally Levi watched you disappear down the stairs, Hange slid up alongside him as he allowed the chatter to fall into the back of his mind.

"Reiner is coming, along with Bertoldt." she spoke like the problem was obvious. But Levi had no clue why this was such a big issue. You had gotten along with the boys in the past, even having Reiner over a couple times. He would remember because he took it as an opportunity to embarrass you. He turned and furrowed his brows at the brunette. She sighed, rolling her eyes,

"Her ex boyfriend, and if Bertoldt is coming I'm almost certain Annie will be here too." Hange said, Levi blinked and held up his open palm to halt Hange's impeding rant.

"I'm sorry her what now?" he asked his eyes scanning Hange's face in search for any signs of bull shit.

"How did you not know?" she asked incredulously as she turned to face him full on. He mirrored her stance, their hips propped against the counter as they engaged in conversation. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, eyes dropping to the floor. Reiner Braun, a fucking air head football player, a meathead, a jock, an absolute asshole. Hange watched with raised brows as Levi stewed in this new information, she had known that deep down Levi cared about you in some degree. She also knew that you cared for Levi, even if all the boy did was torment you. The sound of the front door prevent Hange from speaking, the excitement of Erwin's arrival taking precedence. She peeked around the corner into the front room where the boys were kicking off shoes to add to the pile.

"You boys can put your stuff down stairs, to my understanding that's where all the other kids are." Erwin's voice sounded strained as he spoke to the younger boys. Eld, Gunther, Oluo, and Mike crowded into the kitchen, whooping and cheering. Erwin trailed in behind Bertoldt and Reiner who veered towards the basement, Levi's nose wrinkled when he watched Bertoldt duck his head as the pair descended into the basement. Moments later the noise levels skyrocketed in the basement. The kitchen quieted momentarily at the sound of yelling, finally after about two minutes of yelling Jean exploded out of the basement with his face completely red, you followed close on his heels. Both of you stopped dead in your tracks at the sight of all the older kids staring at you. Your own face flushed as you grabbed Jean's hand and tugged him towards the stairs that lead to the second floor, aka where your room was. Hange again discreetly grabbed Levi's wrist and sent him a pointed look.

"Don't, I'm sure Erwin will find time to fix this." Hange whispered, not doing much to calm Levi's fiery emotions. Erwin sighed loudly and dropped his plastic bag on the counter before quickly climbing the stairs. The chatter slowly resumed, especially once the kids from the basement emerged for more drinks. Reiner and Bertoldt were clearly being shunned, the only brat that was speaking to them was Armin, who still seemed hesitant. Finally Eld figured out the bluetooth speaker and connected to the device, filling the house with music and the din of friendly banter. But all Levi could think about was what was occurring upstairs. You had been up there with Erwin and Jean for about fifteen minutes. He would know, he'd been watching the green numbers on the microwave slowly change as Petra practically clung to his bicep. Finally Levi watched Jean creep down the stairs, his shoulders weren't nearly as taught as they had been when he went up stairs, Armin made a beeline to the boy and immediately the pair descended down stairs, Mikasa and Eren followed close behind, while Reiner and Bertoldt hung back dejectedly. As soon as the group was gone the front door opened, revealing a short blonde girl with cold blue eyes, a brunette with wide brown eyes and a lanky almost awkward stance, a large bag of food in her grasp. Behind the tall girl was a bald boy with a wide grin on his lips, his hazel eyes were busy taking in the scenery.

They blindly followed the blond in and began setting up the food. Levi narrowed his eyes at the kids as they made their way to Reiner and Bertoldt. The blond stayed with the pair while the other two quickly ducked into the basement. Way too fucking many kids were here right now. Definitely not one of the biggest parties that had been thrown here but definitely approaching Levi's comfort thresholds. He glanced at Hange to see her occupied with Oluo, who was making a stink about some science shit. Now was his chance, when Petra released her death grip on him he slid away, and ran up the stairs two at a time. He paused outside of your door, it was hard to hear what was going inside the room due to the loudness of the crowd downstairs. Finally he brought his fist up to the door and gently knocked. This was stupid, he should go back down stairs and let you sort yourself out.

"Come in." Erwin. Levi slowly opened the door, you were perched on your bed, eyes not leaving Erwin who couldn't look less bothered.

"Ah Levi thank God you're here, tell (Y/n) that she is being unreasonable." Erwin said, dropping his hand into his lap as he spun in your desk chair. Levi stood awkwardly, unsure of where to sit, the bed or that awful circle chair in the corner of your room? The appropriate choice would be the chair, but he chose the bed. He dropped onto the end of the bed without looking at you, he felt you shift as you turned to prop yourself up against the head board.

"No, Levi tell Erwin he's the unreasonable one." you hissed, your eyes still trained on your big brother. Levi sighed, a wave of relief crashed over him and he allowed his shoulders to sag a bit.

"Is that really what you two have been doing up here all this time?" he asked, a small chuckle escaping his lips. Erwin smiled at the way Levi relaxed, his arms sliding backwards to prop himself up as he stretched his torso out. You curled further in on yourself as you watched Levi take up most of the space on your bed.

"You're missing your party, in your house." Levi scoffed as he let his gaze flit between the two of you.

"So now it's my house?" you whispered, a small smile curving onto your lips as you glanced up at Levi. Erwin let out a booming laugh as he watched his best friend and his little sister finally get along. Erwin stood up and walked over to you, resting a hand heavily on your shoulder,

"Don't worry, I'm sure that since you and Jean are finally getting serious Reiner will respect your space. But if not...." he trailed off and squeezed your shoulder. Levi furrowed his brow at those words, 'since you and Jean are finally getting serious' very concerning.

"Hold up, Jean?" Levi sneered, his noes wrinkling in disgust. You mimicked his face, screwing your eyes shut and poking your tongue out.

"Yeah. And what about it?" you jeered playfully, honestly Levi was just relieved that you weren't a sobbing wreck. So he decided to let this one slide. He shook his head, dark locks falling in front of his smokey eyes. Erwin squeezed your shoulder again, "Let's just go back down stairs." he said, turning to leave. Levi slid off the bed, and followed Erwin out the door, pausing over the threshold to watch you slide off the bed. You brushed past him, careful not to touch him. Levi pulled your door closed and followed you down the stairs. When you emerged into the kitchen you were surprised to find it nearly empty. Hange was the only person that remained, a beer bottle hanging loosely from her fingers. Erwin pulled her into his side, his head tilting down to kiss the crown of her head. Hange leaned into his touch and your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. You could still feel Levi's presence behind you so you made a point of stepping away from the stairs in case you were in his way.

"Gross." Levi clicked his tongue before sliding past you. A nervous chuckle escaped your lips as Levi stalked into the living room where the upperclassmen were setting up Cards Against Humanity.

"Hey." you whirled around, the sight of Jean's chest filled your vision.

"Hey." you breathed back, a relieved sigh escaped your lips as you let Jean grip your shoulders and steer you towards the basement.

"I'm sorry things started off rocky. It was all Eren's fault anyway." Jean said, his arm thrown casually over your shoulder as you paused at the top of the stairs.

"It's okay. In a way I liked watching Eren go bonkers on them." You said leaning into his warmth. He squeezed your shoulder and scoffed.

"Yeah he's a real hothead." Jean said, his eyes wandered over to Hange and Erwin, who quickly averted their eyes when he glanced their way.

"How about another drink?" Jean said, slipping away from you and walking back towards the kitchen. You nodded and followed him back into the quiet kitchen, where your brother and Hange were cleaning up some spillage. Jean grabbed a Smirnoff ice from the cooler on the ground and popped the cap off before passing it to you. You smiled and accepted the cold drink, the sweet alcohol slid easily down your throat, a warm feeling settling into your gut. And suddenly Jean looked like one of those ancient greek gods or some shit. Yes sadly you were a light weight, and normally you preferred to not drink at these functions. You liked watching your peers do stupid things while they were drunk, not the other way around.

The great thing about your house was the open floor plan. Levi purposefully sat on the side of your couch that faced the kitchen, he was aware of Petra's thigh pressing against his. And the stiff arm of the couch digging into his ribs as he tried to hide his deck of cards. His eyes narrowed at the sight of you cracking open yet another Smirnoff. He shifted as he watched Hange grab your cheeks and you laughed loudly, leaning into her grasp. Jean and Erwin were watching you both with amused expressions as Hange finally released your face and switched to squeezing your sides.

"Your turn Levi." Petra giggled, those sweet hazel eyes watching him expectantly. He forced himself to turn his attention back onto the game at hand, throwing a random card into the pile. Satisfied, Petra picked up the pile of cards and shuffled them, Levi was only half listening as she began reading the cards, causing the group to break out in boisterous laughter. But Levi's eyes had wandered back into the kitchen, now you were sat on the counter, gross. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Jean standing right next to you, his hand resting on your thigh as he and Hange engaged in playful banter. Erwin seemed unbothered, his pupils relaxed as he flicked his eyes between Hange and Jean as their volume increased.

"Noooo you're wrong for that!" Hange yelled, the game paused in favor of listening to the heated conversation.

"What noooo, it's perfectly logical to put peanut butter on a hamburger!" Jean matched Hange's energy, his hand squeezing your thigh tighter as he and Hange continued to bicker.

"Jean" you pawed at his jean jacket in hopes of getting his attention. You frowned as he continued to debate with Hange, this would go on forever. You looked to Erwin, who only half heartedly pulled Hange back.

"Hange why don't we go sit with our friends and let them go to theirs." Erwin said, Hange sighed and shot Jean a look that said: I'm not finished with you yet, and then set off into the living room. You hopped off the counter and tugged Jean out of the kitchen and down the stairs. Levi winced when Hange plopped down on the arm of the couch. He clutched his cards close to his chest as Hange draped an arm across the back of the couch and leaned back. Erwin was settling on the floor beneath the both of them. Hange gripped his wrist and tugged, Levi snarled and pulled his cards closer, "What the fuck? Mind your businesses shitty glasses." he knew that it was near impossible to restrain Hange when she was tipsy, let alone drunk. She was unusually strong.

"I don't wanna see your cards I wanna talk to you! In private" she hissed the last part. The group was too busy playing the game to notice their trivial spat.

"What? No." he snapped, still resisting the brunette as she got onto her feet and attempted to pull him onto his feet.

"It's important please Levi." she whimpered, almost pathetically. He spared a glance to Erwin who remained unconcerned, not even looking back as the young woman hauled him onto his feet. Petra yelped at the unexpected loss of Levi's support, she caught herself and looked up a momentary flash of annoyance crossing her open face.

"Sorry I'll return him short-hiccup-ly" Hange apologized, as she pulled Levi through the kitchen and into the front room. Levi finally managed to free his wrist from her iron grip and glared at Hange.

"What?"

"Are you going to ask Petra out?" her question caught him off guard, his scowl dropping, his mouth opening to form a tiny 'o'.

"Again, what?" he hissed, Hange had a tendency to meddle with Levi's life. He should have known better, it had been too long between Hange's meddling.

"Are you-"

"No... I don't know." Levi threw his hands up in defeat. Hange's glasses caught the light, casting an eerie shadow across her face.

"I don't want to hear it." Levi sighed, holding a hand up to stop her rant before it began.

"Oh? Good because I wasn't going to tell you just yet." she giggled, slipping past him and skipping back into the living room and snatched his spot.

"Levi go make sure that their hands are above the blankets down there!" Erwin called, holding up his beer bottle. Levi grumbled to himself as he lumbered loudly down the stairs, and knocking loudly. A chorus of groans startled him and then the drone of the movie stopped abruptly.

"What?" your voice called into the silence. Levi pushed the door open and scowled at the sight. You had a nice basement, with a nice tv and a large L shaped leather couch. Said couch was crowded, starting on the end closest to him was innocent Armin, close by him was Eren, then Mikasa, (who were obviously holding hands). Followed by Reiner, Bertoldt, Annie, Connie, and Sasha, a bag of chips crunched loudly somewhere. Levi stalked so that he could stand in front of the tv and to his horror he saw you sliding off of Jean's lap and wedging yourself between him and Connie. As if he was stupid enough to miss this detail, "Keep it PG down here." he scolded, grey eyes locked on you as he spoke.

"Sorry dad." you slurred, holding your hands up as you leaned on Jean. Connie sniggered and ribbed you as he pushed you further onto Jean. Sasha giggled and chomped loudly on a potato chip. Levi glared at you as you held your hands up in mock innocence. He scoffed, casting one last glance at your legs, they were tangled with Jeans. As he turned to leave, out of the corner of his eye he saw Jean haul you onto his lap, your sweatshirt riding up. He turned around to see you leaning back into Jean and resting your head on his. The movie began to play again and the kids all settled back in to watch the movie. Levi's mood soured, his grey eyes narrowing as he stalked loudly back up the stairs. Fuck, for some reason seeing you all over horse face left a bad taste in his mouth. He hated the way his hands spread over the exposed skin of your stomach and how you basked in his doting. He dropped back onto the sofa with a huff, picking up his cards again, he grimaced when he realized that the cards were damp and sticky from sitting on the alcohol covered table top.

"Disgusting, who spilled?" he snapped, tossing the cards back onto the table. Gunther laughed and took a swig of his screwdriver.

"I think that one was Hange." he said, pointing a finger at Hange who was seated on Erwin's lap. Her brown eyes widened at the accusation.

"Was not! I think it was Eld!" she said nodding her head furiously. Eld said nothing in his defense, as he took a swig of his beer.

"No it was probably Nanaba with her butterfingers!" Mike said, ribbing Nanaba who was trying to take a sip of her drink, the sudden jarring motion sloshing the liquid all across her white shirt.

"Mike!" She yelped, standing up and pulling the wet fabric off her chest. Mike also stood up, holding his hands up in surrender.

"I didn't mean-"

"Ugh. Just help me clean it up please" she huffed, stalking out of the room and towards the bathroom. Mike paused for a moment, all the guys nodded and gestured wildly for him to follow.

"Now's your chance big man!" Hange whisper yelled across the room as she held up her cup in a cheers motion. Mike took big long strides after the young woman, his cheeks already blushing from the attention.

"Attaboy" Oluo jeered after him, all the other guys laughed and made comments on the odd pair.

"I hope they get together! Nanaba really liked Mike." Petra sighed as she shuffled her cards in her lap.

"Hm" Levi hummed in response as she settled back into his side.

"So, where those guys downstairs keeping it PG" she asked, mimicking Erwin's tone.

"No of course not, and I'm sure as hell they aren't now either." He sighed, leaning forward to grab his rum and coke. Petra nodded, Levi noticed how her face seemed a bit lax, her pupils dilated, and cheeks flushed. She was a bit tipsy, her hand landed on his thigh as she threw her head back when she laughed at something Gunther said. He tensed at her feather light touch, but didn't oppose the contact. Petra was nice, a good girl, she didn't party often and when she did she was usually the sober person present. Levi fished into his pocket and pulled out his vape, taking a hit and turning his head away from Petra's strawberry blond head, instead blowing the vapor into Hange's face. Her nostrils flared and her brown eyes grew so wide he thought they might pop out of her head.

"Now listen here short stack." Hange hiss as she turned to pull Levi into a choke hold. Predicable. Levi easily dodged her slow drunken attack, leaning both him and Petra out of Hange's grasp. Petra squealed when Levi threw his arm across her shoulders and ducked his head against her to avoid Hange. The brunette snorted when she saw Levi tighten his grip on the younger girl and lean further away from her, he was a crafty one, she'd give him that. Levi raised a thin brow in challenge and was satisfied when Hange opted to get up and stalk into the kitchen. Petra practically melted into his side as she sprawled out on the couch, swinging her legs up onto the sofa and leaning back into his side. He looked down at her upturned face and allowed his lips to curve up ever so slightly, a soft dopey grin on her face.Hm, this wasn't so bad he could get used to this.

[wherearemyglassesbro]

teen faces fam!! while the kids are well into highschool in stuff

:D!!!!

Everyone’s just overwhelmed

Al and Matt would be in 11th grade when michelle’s in 8th and together, they each have hours of homework ever day

Francis sucks at math so the kids know to avoid him when they need help with it but when it comes to writing a passionate paper about revolution? He’s already cracking his knuckles and getting ready to assist

Michelle wanted to play volleyball for the longest time cause all of her friends played! So Francis took her to tryouts and she was promptly hit in the face with the volleyball. She then decided that she didn’t want to play anymore and the two went out for ice cream

Alfred and Matthew have tried on multiple occasions to switch places in their classes. Al is so good at math and Matt excells in English! They’ve successfully taken three of each others tests but no more than that cause teachers, while they’re focused on other students, can definitely tell the twins apart.

Arthur has to teach the kids to drive cause Francis is too reckless. The speed limit is 25? He goes 35. He merges lanes in the freeway without a signal and he’kk zoom across six lanes of traffic. “What? That’s how you have to drive back home!” “Francis!! Don’t be a bad influence!”

^^Alfred almost gives Arthur a stroke when he makes a right hand turn at 17mph “ALFRED! You turn at 15! 17 is too fast!” “Dad, take a chill pill!” “I am NOT doing drugs, young man”

Alfred has gotten in trouble quite a few times and Arthur is well acquainted with the principal at this point “Mm...What’d he do now? He threw a basketball through the window? Huh...not the worst thing he’s ever done”

After vaping becomes a huge deal, Arthur flips when Matthew brings a fancy pen home. From afar, it looks like a Juul and Matt gets the scolding of a lifetime to where he’s crying after.

^^Francis is livid “Don’t shout at him like that! It’s alright, Chou, I know you wouldn’t do such a thing, let’s get you some tea. I’m so sorry” and then Arthur’s left to sulk

The Kirkland-bonnefoy family is the busiest family in the district. Alfred has football and track, Matt plays hockey and attends debate club, Michelle plays tennis and attends her school’s theater club. They always have something they have to be doing and occasionally the kids’ events overlap “Dad! Please come to my game!” “No! I want dad to come to MY game! Football is boring he won’t like it!” “Dad cmon! You missed my last game!-“ “He missed my last game too!” And even though it’s flattering to have the kids argue over him, it’s stressful cause...He can’t pick favorites :’0

One night, Alfred and Matthew come back super late from a party and they think they’re in the clear. They sneak in and- Fuck! Papa and dad are sitting in the living room waiting. And oh lord...They’ve never been in so much trouble before. Alfred gets in double trouble when Francis spots hickies on his neck “WHO are those FROM?!!!! You never told me you had a lover!!! This is an outrage!!!”

^^Francis is super nosy when it comes to the kids’ love lives. He wants to know everything! And when he meets their lovers for the first time he embarrasses his kids so much that Arthur has to step in and tell him to knock it off

Even though the kids are always doing their own stuff, they still make time to hang with their parents. They go see movies and go on vacations and they’ll have family nights where they just watch crap tv shows and have junk food :)

[minsugapie]

Now You See Me: part 28 (3512 words) - rap sex

• • • • • •

You’re a content creator that is wanting to change up your brand a little bit.

Yoongi is a faceless musician. Well, he’s two people at once. He’s Agust D online and while performing, but he’s Min Yoongi in real life.

Who will he be to you?

• • • • • •

PART 27 // PART 28 // PART 29

masterlist

• • • • • •

tags : @dixonsbugaboo @mayumioutloud @minhyukstealer @pocketfullofsuga @pwinny00 @rjsmochii @yoonglemickdoongle @live-2-fangirl @cherryicy123 @vernooope @okaysoplshelpme @thebleuprince @minyoongone @original-internetmonster @princesskimnamjoon @waddlingmyg

• • • • • •

With the best outfit that you were able to conjure up from your closet on a budget, you walked into the bar with alone. Everyone was going to meet you there.

You were easily the easiest person to impress, and although you had already seen Yoongi perform before, you were sure that you were going to be amazed, no matter how much you wanted to avoid him and hide your feelings from the world. After what Jade had told you about their relationship compared to your relationship with him, you knew that you wanted to at least tread lightly in the waters of Min Yoongi.

She basically flat out told you that Yoongi liked you, but other than the kiss in the hallway, you weren’t sure that he even liked you. People could kiss other people without wanting to actually be with them. You’d been played by guys in the past. It happened.

And then there was the fact that you were still unsure about seeing Hoseok again. Your father had made it clear that he wanted you to marry him (I mean, you already knew before but still). You’d barely breached the subject with Hoseok on game night, but you just couldn’t see it. Why would Hobi be in love with you of all people. He deserved someone good, someone positive.

The bar was already dark and foggy, but you couldn’t tell whether it was a fog machine or simply a bunch of smoke from vapes and joints. You thought it was probably the latter. It even smelled a little ripe in there, a mixture of alcohol, sweet JUULs, and MJ. Along with the smell, the air practically felt sticky, the temperature already hot.

The search for your friends was brief. Tae and Hobi were always the loudest, currently making a fool of themselves amongst your newer friends, Jimin and Jungkook. Jade was yet to make an appearance. You distantly wondered if she was keeping Yoongi company until he went on stage.

Speaking of the devil, he was clearly not with the group because this was his performance, but you wouldn’t have minded just getting a glimpse of his surely mask-covered face. You’d very nearly forgotten that he was Agust D here and not your Min Yoongi.

Your Min Yoongi. Even the thought was bordering on problematic. If this night didn’t go as planned or even head in a remotely positive direction, you’d be crushed. The only reason that you’d agreed to go was to clarify and/or solidify what was going on between the two of you. If he didn’t make any sort of move. You were going to. You had to.

Looking around, you were happy that there were more people here than the last time. He’d been rapping here for a few years under his alias, but no one had put two and two together. With the release of “Seesaw”, he’d finally revealed to the online community that he was a musician that not only played Piano and got people to sing on his tracks, but also that he rapped. It had surely increased the crowd for this show. On the way in, there was even a lineup at the door. You were able to just walk in, thankfully, because he’d still put your name on the list. He had told you on multiple occasions that he would never take your money if you came to watch him because just your being there was enough of a reward for him.

The greetings from your friends were almost lost to your ears because you were craning your head to see if Yoongi was possibly walking around, visiting with other people. It was quite obvious to everyone that you were not here to see them. You were definitely here to see the man on your mind.

“Hello, earth to Y/N?” Jimin waved his hand in front of your face when you were staring directly into the drink that you’d picked up from the bartender on the way to the already full table of guys. You were clearly only here for one thing.

As much as you loved them all and enjoyed their company (most of the time), you were not up for any chit chat. Frankly, you were still trying to pull yourself out of your depressive state, and you were also not entirely sure that you were ready to meet Jade yet.

After stalking her profile, you were 100% sure that she was both prettier and a better person overall than you were. You’d never seen someone spread so much love and happiness. The only rival that you could think of would have been Hobi.

“Sorry, Chim. I’m just a little distracted,” you answered, spinning the bottle of alcohol in your hands.

“You’re just nervous about having to talk to Yoon about the kiss, right?” Jungkook piped in from beside you. From the corner of your eye, you saw Hobi look at you and frown. He then quickly looked at Tae, but your brother just shrugged. Hobi was always so protective, just like a brother would’ve been.

“H-how do you even know about that?” You stuttered, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear in embarrassment. Yeah, you kissed Yoongi, but you just assumed that he was not much of a gossip and wouldn’t have told anyone. You were clearly wrong.

“Your guy told us. He also may have revealed that he was nervous about you meeting Jade,” Jimin slyly admitted, putting his arm around your shoulders.

“Because she’s his ex, and he still hangs around with her?” Everyone, including your brother were surprised that you didn’t have a bigger reaction than that one. Your eyes wandered to the stage, only to find it still lifeless and unlit.

With a sigh, you listened as Jungkook continued, “Yeah…how do you know that?”

“Jade and I have been texting a little bit here and there. She initiates the conversations, but I can’t not answer her.”

“Speaking of the devil,” Jimin announced with a huge smile. “Jade is walking this way.”

“Sorry, but who exactly is Jade?” Hobi asked, completely unaware that she was coming up right behind him. You were completely astonished at how pretty she was. You wondered how it was physically possible to be born that way.

“I’m Jade,” she whispered in his ear, causing him to jump and fall off his chair. While he was seated on the ground, she smiled at him and politely took a seat in the chair that he was occupying. Turning to me, she beamed. “You must be Y/N! Yoongi has to me so much about you!”

You couldn’t say the same.

“Hi,” you replied, not being able to take your eyes off her hair. It was literally curled to perfection.

Once Hobi finally got up at the floor, you could see him shifting his eyes from you to her, wondering what exactly was going on.

“I’m Hoseok,” Hobi introduced himself with a bow.

Jade graciously took his greeting and then commented, “Oh, so you’re Hoseok…”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He started, but all of the lights suddenly went out and everyone’s head turned to the stage.

You instantly stood up and walked closer, nursing your drink on an open potion of the floor. A few more people joined the space, filling it quickly. Jimin and Hoseok came and stood on either side of you while the other stayed back and kept the table.

Yoongi slowly walked onto the stage and took the microphone that was waiting nicely in the stand. Absentmindedly, you wondered what Yoongi and Jade had been talking about backstage. You were in such a daze that you completely forgot to ask.

He was wearing a cap and a mask under his chin for hiding his identity. It was a special request to keep the lights down to avoid anyone seeing his face through the shadows. It didn’t matter to you any way that he came. To top it all off, he was sporting ripped jeans and a jacket —typical. Did he even own anything else?

The performance was similar to the last one, except that there were a few new songs. After the first few songs, you again confirmed that the man was meant for music. Agust D’s performance was truly hype. He got the crowd into it and talked about so many difficult things like depression and social anxiety.

You realize then that you are definitely in love with Yoongi. How could you not have been? Maybe you’d even been in love with him for a while, you weren’t too sure. You’d been talking for months, and he was the only person you’d thought about in weeks. He captured your full attention, even when you weren’t with him.

His passion was a large factor of that love as well. When the beat for “Agust D” rolled in, you can’t look away, you’re entranced. The people you’re with all noticed this. It wasn’t long into the song that Yoongi’s eyes found yours. You were surprised that he found you with all the people in there. You were hidden behind a couple really tall guys and their girlfriends, and when he focused in your direction, they were quite excited.

It wasn’t until they realized that he was not looking at them but at you. It was the fastest part of the song, and he just kept looking at you and walking closer to the end of the stage and towards you. The people in front of you parted slightly to give him a better view of you. Your cheeks reddened at the intensity of his rapping. Just thinking about how fast he could move his tongue made you think back to the kiss. You wanted his tongue against yours again.

When you realized that you definitely should not have been thinking about that right now, you brought your hands to your cheeks and covered them with your hands. You felt a pair of hands on your back push you forwards slightly, but you wouldn’t budge. It was Hobi, and you didn’t notice that after he nudged you, he backed away, clearly distancing himself mentally and physically from you.

This moment was yours and Yoongi’s. It felt like there was nobody else in the room, but also felt so intimate that you were sad that there were many people all around.

His gaze never leaves your face for the rest of the performance. It’s his closing song before the second artist came on, so when the song finished, he was breathing hard and clearly sweating. His eyes were still on you as he pulled up his mask, trying to hide his identity from the prying eyes.

The bouncers were very strict on not having flash photography either —they would hunt you down. It was basically an unwritten agreement that when people came, they would just not post videos and keep the performance to them.

“What?” You asked, finally being able to breathe again. You hadn’t noticed, but your breath became uneven and hard when Yoongi was performing for you.

“He totally just had rap sex with you.” Jimin’s voice was even and sure when he looked at you.

What the hell was rap sex?

Yoongi was still staring at you

Rolling his eyes because he could clearly tell that you didn’t know what he was talking about, he continued, “I shouldn’t need to explain this, Y/N…In fact, I’ll just let you figure it out on your own.” You didn’t need to know what Jimin was talking about. All you knew for sure was that just the words sex and Yoongi in the same sentence made you flustered. They were making you flustered and hot.

Yoongi bowed, thanking the crowd one more time before exiting the stage. You weren’t sure what you were going to say to him now, but you knew that you needed to reign in your emotions and get yourself together or else only gibberish would come out of your mouth.

Making your way back to the table, you were still flushed and had to get yourself together. People were sure to comment on your state. Plus, if you wanted to hold your own in front of Yoongi, you couldn’t be looking like you were. So there you were, standing awkwardly around the table, waiting.

It seemed like hours until he made his way to your table. You hadn’t participated in any conversations with your friends, opting simply to nurse another drink and wait for Yoongi. You had no idea what you were going to say to him or how you were even going to react when he finally said a word to you.

He greeted all your friends and Jade before going to stand between you and Jimin.

“Hey,” he said, taking quick sip of your drink. You looked at him like he’d grown two heads. This guy hadn’t spoken to you in ages, and there he was, acting as if you were together, or at least that you had been talking.

Biting your lip, you answered, “I enjoyed your set.”

When the tension between you two was able to be cut with a knife, Jimin nudged you into Yoongi’s arms. Instead of being bashful about it, your brain allowed to to simply put your arms around his waist and embrace the contact.

He didn’t hesitate to hug you back before moving his mask under his chin and whispering, “I’m really happy that you came.” Quickly putting his mask back on, you didn’t realize that you’d be so affected by everything that he said and did.

Yoongi’s breath on your ear tickled and sent shivers through your body. His sweat smelled sweet, and you only want to run your fingers through his damp hair. There were many other people around, so obviously that would have to be saved for another time.

******

Hoseok and Jade were sitting on the other side of the table, observing their two friends, relishing in the unrequited love of it all. They were happy for the two of you, they really were, but taking it from their perspective. It would fucking suck.

“Ugh, I hate love,” Hoseok grumbled, pushing away from the table. Jungkook, Jimin and Tae had left, going to watch the second performer on stage, so it was only the four of them at the table.

Jade looked at him like she’d never seen him before. “Why do you hate love? I hate love.”

“I’ll get us some drinks and we can talk it out.”

When Hoseok made his way back with two bottle of soju in hand, he started, “I’ve been in love with Y/N since the moment I met her. She was 14 and I was 12. It was all too much for me, especially because her brother is my best friend. She’s liked him since she first met with him at the coffee shop. I’m sure of it.”

“Similar story, bro. Agust D and I have been best friends since birth and I’ve always had a crush on him. He’s been thirsting after her since he received her first message. JK and Chim didn’t help because they clearly think she’s hot.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they were in love with each other now.”

“Honestly same. Did you see that performance? I’ve seen him perform many times, and that was something else”

“…It really be like that sometimes.” It was a thought that they both shared; a thought that shaped the generation.

******

Neither you nor Yoongi realize what exactly was happening between Jade and Hobi when you asked, “Are you going to let me go at all?”

“I hadn’t planned on it.” But he loosened his grip and simply let his arms drape around your shoulders comfortably. You liked being there. You’d never been this close to him for such a long period of time.

Looking at him, you still couldn’t get Jimin’s comment from earlier out of your mind. So when Yoongi pulled back to walk towards his friends in the crowd, you stopped him by grabbing his arm. The action surprised him, and what you about to do was something that you’d never have done with anyone before you’d met him.

He looked at your concentrated face in question. There were people everywhere, but you didn’t care when you pulled his mask back down under his chin and asked, “Why haven’t you tried to kiss me since the first time? Why did you not talk to me about it? You seemed so sure that you wanted it to happen then, and now I’m just confused if you act-”

Yoongi grabbed your hand and started dragging you away from all the people and into a corner of the bar that you weren’t sure that you’d ever seen before. It was a deserted corner that looked like it was never visited. Actually, when you stopped talking, Yoongi wasted no time in connecting your lips once again. The kiss this time was urgent and hotter than it had been int he hallway of your place.

He tasted sober this time, still vaguely damp from his performance when you took off his cap and placed it lightly on your head. You ran your fingers through his hair like you wanted to earlier, and he took that opportunity to get you good. With a groan that literally turned your insides into mush, his hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush to his body.

Yoongi’s skin was soft under yours. With every movement of his lips, you realized that he wouldn’t want to talk about anything, so asking him about that rap was out of the question…for now. Soft movement paired with everything else that was Yoongi —his sweat, his smell, his taste— had you wanting more, needing more. After this, you knew that you’d never be able to be friends with the man. Being friends would simply be too painful. You’d never be able to see him again without wanting a kiss or a touch. It almost scared you how much your desire for him had increased in the days that you hadn’t spoken.

You gently pushed him back until he hit the wall, and absently, you found yourself grinding down onto one of his legs, straddling it. Your kisses became sloppier, open mouthed, and needy with every grinding movement into his leg. Whatever it was that you were doing, it felt good. No matter what it was, you knew that Yoongi was able to make you feel good.

You weren’t even sure that he was fine with what was happening until his hands gripped your waist and aided the movement, crouching lower to give you more access. You could even feel his quad muscles flex between your thighs. He pulled back, looking into your eyes, watching your facial expression as he helped you grind down. It felt better than good because it was infinitely better than touching yourself. Even though you were fully clothed, you’d get off in minutes if he kept it up.

Yoongi’s lower lip was taken between his teeth as he watched you more. His eyes did flicker behind you to see if someone was a coming or watching, but the coast must have been clear because his eyes then travelled down the length of your torso to where you were grinding against him.

Your breathing wasn’t even, trying to focus on the feeling, but you decided that this was neither the time, nor the place that you two should have been doing this. You didn’t want to have to clean yourself up in the bathroom, and you didn’t want Yoongi to have to deal with a boner in the middle of the bar (although you were sure that it was too late).

When he noticed your movements slowing down, his eyes went back to your face. “Let me take you home later,” he whispered, lips brushing yours and hands moving from your hips to feeling down your body and around your butt. He squeezed gently, pulling you closer to him.

The brushing of his lips on yours was enough to drive you crazy. There was no way that you would ever be able to deny this man what he wanted that night. “Mhm. All right.”

“Well, then let’s go join our friends for a little longer. I’ll buy you a drink, and then I’m taking you home. Don’t even think about not finishing what you started,” his tone was clear and low. He was definitely turned on and wanting.

His words excited you. A smile grew on your face, and then you suggested, “How about one dance, too?”

It took him a moment to answer. He didn’t seem like the type to want to dance in a bar, but you knew his answer was solely for you. “Fine.”

Hand in hand, you lead Yoongi away from the dark corner and back into the visible bar, unaware that there had been people that noticed.

• • • • • •

LET’S GET IT, FAM...in case you didn’t get it, they are having sex tonight. But I didn’t write it. I can write the smut if you want me to. I won’t say it’ll be the best, but I would try.

Hope you enjoyed ✊🏻🤓

[mattygraygubler]

our campus 7 (tom holland fic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: softness, mention of heart condition, drinking

word count: 2.5

a/n: ugh this had a terrible transition at the beginning but i needed to get to the next part of the story in my brain so here we are

as always texts are bolded

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

Tom didn’t bring delt or Noah up again. You were seeing each other three times a week now, on Fridays and Sundays like you discussed and on Wednesdays for some extra writing lessons. 

It had been almost a month since the delt party and you hadn’t seen Noah. You had texted back and forth quite a bit at first, but you couldn’t get your schedules to line up to see each other in person. That was primarily your fault. Now that you were sweetheart and the fraternity recruitment was starting, you had even more responsibilities. 

You were enjoying the sexting though. It’d been a while since you had slept with anyone and the sexting was turning you on all the time. You hadn’t really had time to take care of yourself, though, which made you very hot very easily. 

If you were honest with yourself, you needed the sexting. The more you saw Tom, the more your feelings for him grew. He was kind, and he was funny, but at the end of the day, he saw you as his nerdy tutor. Nothing more, not even a friend. You threw yourself into the sexting to get your mind off any feelings that were surfacing. 

You and Tom were getting along just fine. He didn’t bring up partying or Noah, and he had stopped being so insecure about being tutored, which you appreciated. You were starting to actually get to know him, which was nice, but the more you learned, the more you felt yourself fall for him. 

You were learning a lot about Tom as time went on, and you liked him as a person. He had three younger brothers, and Sam and Harry, the twins, were the same age as your own brother. 

He loved watching movies, and despite being a theater major, he wanted to work in film. He was constantly texting you movie references and was shocked when he realized that you hadn’t seen most of the movies that inspired him to want to be an actor. 

It was late one night when he opened up to you about doing ballet. You were talking about how much you hated working out, and he said it wasn’t that bad. Eventually it led to him telling you that part of how he stays so fit is because he does ballet and has his whole life. 

That surprised you. Never in a thousand years would you have expected this frat boy to do ballet. 

Now it was a Saturday, which meant you didn’t have a session with Tom that day. It was pouring outside, and your friends were headed to various parties, but you stayed in. One of the many joys of having a single room all to yourself. 

You turned on your fairy lights, put on your favorite the neighborhood playlist and staring outside at the rain. You debated texting Noah, but you decided you wanted to be alone. 

You had your juul, which your friends hated but you couldn’t care less. Smoking made you feel better, and vaping was easy. You were halfway through the bottle all by yourself and the room was spinning. You were lying on the floor, puffing clouds of smoke and watching them swirl above you. 

You didn’t know what time it was when you heard a knock at the door. 

“One second,” you called out over the music and stumbled up to get the door. You opened it, revealing the last person you thought you would find: Tom. 

“Uhm, hi,” he said and was staring at you. Not at your face, however. You were now realizing that were in only your underwear and a tight tank top, and you could see your pierced nipples through the fabric. 

“Hi,” you said, ignoring your outfit and his stares. “Are you fine?” You slurred your words, not speaking good english. “I mean is the homework fine? Do you have an academic question, because I’m not sure how much help I’ll be right now.” 

“Uhm, yeah, no, it can wait until tomorrow.” He said. “Is everything ok?” 

“Yes.” You replied definitively. 

“Do you have a guy in there or something?” He asked. 

“Oh. No. I just needed a night alone. To drink wine.” 

“Yeah, I get that. I’ll leave you to your alone time then. See you tomorrow.” 

“You can come in and hang out if you want.” You said and immediately regretted it. The alcohol had officially taken over your brain and you were no longer in control of your words, and if you couldn’t control your words, you definitely couldn’t stop yourself from saying something you’ll regret, or doing something you’ll regret even more. 

“You’re gonna have to catch up though.” You said, referring to the fact that you were very drunk and Tom was absolutely sober.

“Be right back,” he said with a smile. Soon he returned from his room with his own bottle, and you let him into your room. 

You resumed lying on the floor, staring at the twinkling lights from your ceiling. Thomas drank a few big gulps of his wine before joining you, lying next to you. 

“I wish there were more stars here.” You said with a sigh. “When my family visits Maine in the summertime they cover the sky. Like someone just sprinkled them all over.” 

“We don’t have a lot of stars in London.” Tom said and the two of you were quiet again. 

“What’s ballet like?” You asked. Tom took a second to think before answering. 

“Freeing.” He paused again. “You don’t need to think. The world just slows down for a while. You get lost in the music.” 

There was silence again and Tom kept drinking, trying to catch up to you. You were both incredibly competitive and were trying to finish before the other. 

“I think I would like it.” You said. 

“Why haven’t you tried?” He asked. You braced yourself. 

“I have a heart condition.” You said. No one knew about this except for your three best friends, and Kyle. 

“You do?” He asked, turning on his side so he was facing you. You nodded, still on your back staring at the ceiling. 

“I tried it once. Took a ballet class. I couldn’t even get through the first session.” You forced a laugh, knowing if you really thought about it you would cry. 

“What happened?” “I passed out. It happens when I do too much strenuous activity. My heart can’t pump enough blood to keep my body moving, it basically goes into overdrive and I faint.” 

“That’s scary.” He said. You just shrugged. 

“I’ve gotten good at managing it. I don’t pass out too often now. I know my limits.” 

“Still. I can’t imagine a life where I couldn’t dance.” 

Those words stuck with you. How much had you missed because of this stupid illness? You couldn’t wear heels and had to wear sneakers to your prom. You had to stop playing all the sports you enjoyed. You couldn’t work out with your friends. There were so many things you wish you could do, but couldn’t. 

“I’m used to it.” You replied. It was silent again and you thought about all the boys that you’d pushed away because of this stupid illness. Plenty of times you had passed out during sex, woken back up and once you realized what happened, ghosted the boy. It was so embarrassing. Plenty of times you’d stopped seeing a boy because he suggested a date you couldn’t do, like hiking or going for a bike ride. 

And then there was the fear of dying. You didn’t normally talk about it, and why would you? It wasn’t cancer, you didn’t have a number of days left to live. It was arguably scarier than that. There was always the chance you could push yourself too far, do too much, and your heart would just give out. 

“Didn’t you dance at the delt party? With Max?” Tom asked.

“Not for very long. And it wasn’t incredibly strenuous.” You replied.

“I’m sorry you have to live with that.” He said. You believed him. He truly sounded like he was sorry. You didn’t respond. 

Silence filled the room, but you didn’t mind. It was comfortable. You both slowly sipped your wine, looking at the lights. You saw Tom stealing glances at you, but you pretended you didn’t notice. 

“Can I ask you something?” Tom asked. You nodded. He was looking at you, but you didn’t look back at him. “Did you… did you ever sleep with Noah?” “No.” You said, still not looking at him. 

“Why not?” 

“Dunno. Wasn’t in the mood I guess.” “It seemed like you were.”

“Yeah well. I spent two years doing the one night stand thing. I guess it’s not really for me anymore.” He didn’t respond to that. “Don’t you ever get tired of it?” You asked. You finally turned on your side, your faces inches away and his eyes staring into yours. 

“Tired of what?” 

“You know, all the girls. Never the same one twice, never a meaningful connection. Don’t you ever crave something more?”

“Yeah, but that’s not happening yet.” 

“Why not?” 

“Haven’t found the right person.” He said. You laughed. 

“I guess it would take a very special girl to make the Tom Holland give up his playboy lifestyle.” He smiled.

“I guess. I don’t think it would be a difficult choice. When the right person comes along, it’s as easy as breathing. You never get scared to share parts of yourself with them, even the dark parts.”

“Are you secretly a big softie?” 

“I guess. But if you tried to tell anyone that they'd never believe you.” 

“You’re probably right.” It was silent for a while and you looked down, getting anxious about the eye contact. 

“Have you ever been in love?” he asked. 

“I don’t think so.” You said after thinking about it. “I thought I was at one point, but like you said, when it’s the right person it’s supposed to be easy. Nothing in my life has ever really been easy before.” 

It was quiet again, and you were enjoying the silences. 

“Have you?” You asked. He took a deep breath before answering. 

“I think so. I thought I was in love last year, but it wasn’t love. I was infatuated with her but she didn’t really… get me. Or care to get to know me.” 

“So if you didn’t love her, who do you love?” You pried. 

“You don’t know her.” 

“Tell me about her then.” He turned back onto his back and folded his hands over his chest, staring at the lights. 

“When she smiles it makes my heart beat faster. I’d do anything just to see her smile. She likes to dress up, but I like it when she dresses down. She’s incredibly smart, so smart it blows me away. I love talking to her. About anything and everything. Her mind… it works differently than anyone else I’ve ever met. She’s beautiful but that’s not the part of her that blows me away the most.”

“Well it sounds like love to me. Why aren’t you with this girl?” 

“She doesn’t really notice me.” “What do you mean?” “I mean… I mean she doesn’t really see me. She sees me as a person, but she doesn’t see any possibility of us being anything more than… friends.” 

“You don’t know that.” You replied. “Maybe she likes you, she’s just too scared to say.” 

“If you were me, would you tell the girl how you feel?” You bit your lip. You wanted to be the one tom confessed his feelings for, but you knew you weren’t. 

You sat up. “You should go tell her.” You said and stumbled as you tried to stand. 

“Woah,” Tom said, quickly getting up and placing his hands on your waist, steadying you. He led you to your bed and sat you down. 

“I’m fine, really. Just drunk. You should go tell that girl you love her. It’s raining. Very romantic.” 

“What’s the rush?”

“I-” You said before the world went black. 

* * * 

“Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me?” You heard a voice say. You opened your eyes and saw kind brown ones staring back at you. Tom’s face was inches from yours, and his eyebrows were scrunched together in concern. 

“Wha…”

“You passed out.” He said. You were lying on your bed and sat up, scooting back so your back was against the headboard, and pulled your knees into your chest. 

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked. You wrapped your arms around your legs and hid your face in your knees. 

“I’m embarrassed,” you mumbled. 

“I’m sorry, love, I didn’t quite catch that.” 

“I’m embarrassed.” You said after picking your head up again. Tom saw the tears that were streaming down your face. 

“Why? There’s no reason to be embarrassed, it’s just me.” 

“Still,” you said and the sob caught in your throat. “You should go.”

Rather than listening to your command, Tom scooted over so he was sitting next to you, his back pressed against the headboard as well. 

“I’m good here.” He said and wrapped his arm around you tentatively. “Let me be here for you. Please.” 

“Why?” You asked and looked up at him. 

“We’re friends, Y/N. I mean, I never expected us to get as close as we are, but I care about you. Let me stay with you.” 

“You don’t have to,” you replied. 

“I want to. Why don’t we put on a movie.” He suggested and pulled your laptop onto his lap. You pulled up disney plus and started playing the first movie that popped up, the Lion King. 

You felt the tiredness take over your whole body. Episodes did that to you. You felt yourself involuntarily curling up next to Tom, loving the warmth he provided. 

“Tommy,” you muttered sleepily. “You’re a good friend.” You thought you saw him wince, but it must’ve just been your imagination. You were exhausted, after all. 

“You’d do the same for me. If you really want to kick me out, I’ll go, but I’m more than happy to stay here until you fall asleep if you’re comfortable with that.” You nodded, your eyes dropping shut and you nuzzled yourself further into his chest. 

“Y/N,” he said, “You’re shivering. Let me grab you a sweatshirt.” He tried to get up but you grabbed his shirt, keeping him where he was. 

“No, don’t, you’re keeping me warm.” You mumbled. He gave a soft chuckle. 

“Hold on,” he said. He pulled the blankets back so he was under them. He pulled the sweatshirt over his head. “Arms up.” He commanded. Your eyes were half closed, but you obliged and felt the large warm sweatshirt around your body. 

“Better?” He asked with a quiet laugh. You nodded and snuggled next to him again, intertwining your legs and curling up against his now bare chest. 

You were almost completely asleep but you could’ve swore you felt him kiss your forehead and whisper “Good night, my love.” 

[poor-boy-orpheus]

Hey! If youre serious about needing a cig I need help. My boyfriend is desperately trying to quit and has quit cigs but now uses a juul and is trying to quit. He's asked for my support but I have no idea how or what to say other than like, don't do it? I don't know anyone that smokes but him. If you have any advice id seriously appreciate it!

Lol, this is not the sort of question I was expecting from that post, but actually yeah, I think I can help.

So, I’m really only going on my own experiences with nicotine as a former chainsmoker, but I’m not an expert. I also never really got into vaping, but I have smoker friends who have and have since quit, so I’ll try to go off their experiences too.

I started smoking 5 years ago when I was living alone away from family and friends and was super duper depressed, enter cigarettes, the vice I could easily obtain. I reached a point where 6 cigarettes a day was a light day for me, and could easily smoke an entire pack in a sitting. When I did decide to quit it was because my mom’s parents had died form smoking and I couldn’t do that to her, so I pretty much made the decision to just stop. I threw away all of my packs and threw away the lighter too.

And then next week I had bought another pack. I had one cigarette and then couldn’t bring myself to light another one. I put it in my bathroom drawer. Around 5 times a day I would go to that drawer and take one out, almost lighting it, but I...just didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to it. There were a few weak moments where I did smoke but it was way more controlled and I was able to keep it in the drawer more often.

I say this because...sometimes it helps to have it there, to have the option, sometimes that can keep you from taking it. IF your boyfriend isn’t dangerously addicted I would say don’t push him to throw anything out until he’s really ready to, because if you do he’ll only end up buying more next time he needs a light up, and he’ll be way more likely to actually light up that way.

Now, about a month ago I relapsed after 5 years and I bought a new pack, smoking 5 or 6 cigarettes on my drive home and then another 3 when I got there. It was a bad night. The next day I wanted to tell my friends, but I just couldn’t find the moment and I was embarrassed. Around a week later it finally came up and I was able to tell a friend of mine. She’s a former chainsmoker too so she understood how serious it was for me.

She also came up with a new plan. I bagged up all of my smoking stuff (I have cigarettes as well as a pipe with its own tobacco) and I gave it to her. If I get to a point where I really need a smoke because life is falling apart, I call her and I can go get a cigarette. This might sound like enabling, but in reality it forces me to reach out when I’m in a dark place and need a smoke, and it turns what could easily be a really bad night into a therapy session where we can talk.

So, maybe the best thing for your bf is to have him do something similar. And, if I may be so bold, it’s possible that you’re not the best candidate to be his supply. Maybe he needs another friend, someone in whom he can confide and have that therapy session with who isn’t as close to the situation as you are. If he has a good friend or soemthing like that, I’d recommend that person. It’s an idea, and so far it’s helping me.

Beyond that, literally the only way to really beat an addiction is to just...stop. Like I said I’ve had moments of weakness and I’ve relapsed more than once, but it’s not about how much you fail, it’s about how you try to pick yourself back up.

[momentofroggie]

Spike To The Heart CH 4

WC: 2.7K

-

The rest of the school week goes by slow. Classes are interesting to Peter, especially the ones that deal with science, but to everyone else it’s torture. The only two things the boys can think about is practice and food. At lunch they discuss sports and inside jokes over food, picking fun at Peter and arguing with Thor over football. 

“There’s no way you’re gonna lose against Scarborough. Just because they’re bulky doesn’t mean they’re smart.” Steve comments over his sandwich.

“Yeah, but they could knock out some of our best players.” Thor grumbles, picking at his teeth. Loki cringes at the food underneath his brother’s fingernails.

“But not you, though.” Peter peeps up. Thor coos and ruffles his hair, his hazelnut curls becoming frizzy and free. Peter flushes, table going quiet, everyone listening to the commotion around them. Everyone eats in content silence, with a few side conversations here and there. 

The last class of the day, Peter is trying his hardest to stay focused. After all, physics is his favorite subject. However, his chin is leaning on the palm of his hands, eyes fluttering shut. His sense of sound is wavering in and out, his teacher’s voice lulling him to sleep. Every time he feels himself dozing off, a sudden yelp from the teacher or the door slamming shut wakes him back up. Peter thinks he may finally fall asleep until Wade nudges him with chill eyes.

“Wanna come to the bathroom with me?” Wade raises an eyebrow. Peter furrows his and gestures his hand up.

“Why?” Peter questions, his head tipping to one side. 

“You seem like you need a break.” Wade winks, sending butterflies in to Peter’s stomach. What the hell is he about to get himself into. Wade gets up and Peter clumsily follows suit. Wade picks up the hall pass and is heading out the door.

“Where are you boys going?” The teacher asks. Wade looks over his shoulder and gives a smug smile.

“Peter isn’t feeling good. I’m coming with him to the bathroom to make sure nothing bad happens.” Peter blushes out of embarrassment. I feel fine, Peter wants to say but he merely says it in his head. The teacher nods and they head out, quietly closing the classroom door behind him. Peter walks to the left of Wade, who’s swinging the hall pass like a pair of nunchucks. They turn the corner and go into the bathroom, Wade walking into the first stall. Peter stands by the sink, looking at his reflection. He fixes his fringe and rubs his tired eyes. He expects to hear some sort of gross noise from some sort of bodily fluid, but he hears nothing. Instead, he hears a slight crackle and an exhale.

“Wade, what are you doing?” Peter utters, confused. No response. Just another crackle and exhale.

“Come into the stall next to me.” Wade orders. Peter raises an eyebrow and nods to himself. He gets into the stall and locks the door behind him. He stands there awkwardly while whistling to himself. He hears a noise to his right. He turns around and see Wade sliding something between the cracks in the stall. It looks like a USB and it has a small white light in the middle of the device. Peter hesitantly takes it, palming it in his hand.

“What is this?” Peter chuckles, running his thumb over the device.

“It’s a JUUL. Take a hit off it.” Wade whispers. Peter feels like a dumb and naive kid for not knowing what this is. He’s heard of them before on the internet, but has never seen one in real life. He taps it and the light shines green then fades away. He holds it in his hand, observing it like it’s a science experiment. He feels like a toddler trying out a new toy for the first time.

“How?” Peter whispers back. Wade laughs and opens his stall door. He knocks on Peter’s and Peter opens his. Wade triumphantly steps in and locks it behind them. Peter feels himself heat up under his burgundy sweater. Wade takes it from Peter’s delicate hands and holds it up to Peter’s red ruby lips. 

“Inhale.” Wade says in a hushed tone. Peter puts his lips up to it and inhale. A minty puff of vape enters his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. His eyelashes flutter to look up at Wade as he removes his mouth from the Juul and exhales. Suddenly, a buzz courses through his veins. His eyes shoot open and his feet feel heavy. His fingers tingle as his eyes trace every knuckle. He tries to hold back a cough as he looks back at Wade, who’s taking another hit. He ghosts it, the vape appearing and disappearing within a second before reappearing through his nose and mouth. 

“That’s weird,” Peter stammers, “But nice. I feel-“

“Refreshed.” Wade gleams and moves closer to Peter, foreheads almost touching. Wade takes another hit of his Juul and blows it into Peter’s face. Peter scoffs and fans the vape from out of the air to reveal a smirking Wade. Peter leaned his head against Wade’s shoulder without second thought, letting the nicotine run its course. He’s dizzy yet calm but a little anxious when Wade hitches his breath before chuckling into his ear.

“You’re so cute.” Wade whispers, rubbing Peter’s back. Peter shrugs and adjusts his head to look up Wade’s neck.

“I get that a lot.” Peter giggles. Wade nods and feels himself melt into the floor, those big doe eyes staring back at him, the sweet and sultry scent of Peter’s cologne. Wade tilts Peter’s chin, stroking the side of his face lovingly. He stuffs his Juul in his pocket and closes his eyes, going in for a kiss. Peter sighs and kisses back, soft and slow. A flush of a toilet soon follows, an unromantic interruption. Peter gasps and they quickly pulled away, staring at each other. Wade notices how flustered Peter is, messy hair and a dizzy expression.

“Let’s get out of here.” Wade whispers and quietly opens the stall door, Peter following after him. They walk back to the classroom in silence, neither of them sure of what to say. They finish the class, only talking to each other to ask a question, mainly for Wade to get the answers off Peter. Once the bell rings, Peter frantically packs up his things and heads out the door.

“Wait!” Wade calls out, trailing behind Peter. Peter turns around, leaning against a locker. Wade gives a shy smile and looks down. “Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” Peter questions, grinning because he knows exactly why Wade would think so. He shouldn’t have enjoyed the kiss, no, but he hasn’t had a real kiss in a long time, even if it was short lived.

“I don’t know, maybe you thought I was a bad kisser.” Wade chuckles moving closer towards Peter. Peter smiles shyly and scratches the back of his neck.

“Guess I would have to kiss you more to find out.” Peter giggles, lifting up his heels and falling back down again. Wade laughs and his neck and cheeks flush alive with a rosy pink. 

“Let’s head to the bathroom than.” Wade jokes, but not really. Peter giggles and looks down, eyelashes fluttering from embarrassment. Their tender moment is soon cut short from the boisterous stomping of Steve and Bucky’s feet, clunking down the hallway.

“Hey lovebirds, we got some pizza to eat and JUULs to rip and you’re coming with us.” Steve hollers. Peter facepalms and Wade cheers, taking Peter’s hand. They walk out to the ghetto, which is what they call the student parking lot, and into Steve’s car. Steve’s parents are loaded and it shows through the leather seats and sleek interior. Wade and Peter climb in the back while Bucky sits up front. Steve starts the car and they’re on their way to the best pizza shop in the city, Mindy’s pizza shop. Steve blasts loud music and sings along while Bucky sits in silence, taking a hit from his JUUL every now and then. Wade opens his window and sticks his head out, feeling the September air hit his face. Peter giggles and decides to watch the scene unfold in front of him until they get to the pizza shop. That is, until Wade climbs on top of him to open the other window.

“Woah Wade, at least take me out to dinner first.” Peter shouts with a smile as Wade straddles Peter in the backseat. Peter, like a good boy, has his seatbelt on while Wade is completely without a care in the world. Wade laughs and pinches Peter’s cheek, feeling the soft flesh. 

“I think I am taking you out to dinner right about now.” Wade winks as Steve pulls into Mindy’s parking lot. All of them climb out of the car and head inside. The door rings as Steve swings it open. A hitched breath escapes him as he sees a familiar face behind the counter.

“Nat!” Steve calls out, speeding his pace us as he walks to the counter. The redhead calls out his name as they hug over the counter. Bucky gleams and sends a wave her way. Peter can’t believe his eyes. The best athlete at our school, an all star in soccer, indoor track, and softball works at a little pizza shop around the corner. Peter shyly waves, but Nat opens her arms for a hug. Peter giggles and hugs her, smelling her sweet perfume and a hint of sweat. 

“Welcome to Mindy’s, best pizza parlor in Queens, what would you like today?” Nat says in a sing-song voice. Steve orders a large cheese pizza and a liter of Coke, which Nat puts on the house. Peter looks behind him to see Wade standing awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Peter grabs Wade’s hand and introduces him.

“Yeah, this is Peter’s boyfriend, Wade.” Steve teases, “The best server in all of NYC.” Wade blushes and Bucky rolls his eyes. Nat waves before she grabs the steaming hot box and cold liter of soda. She hands it over to Steve and blows a kiss, which Steve ‘catches’ and places on his cheek. Peter watches as Bucky goes red and lazily kicks at the ground. Nat throws a wink over her shoulder, her firey red curls resting on her shoulder blades. They eat and chat until dusk starts to appear and cars start to rev by, grumbling against the faint September wind. 

“I think it’s time for us to hit the road, boys.” Steve moans out, ridiculously bloated from the pizza. Bucky jiggles Steve’s belly and Wade laughs, making Santa Claus noises. “A football game awaits.” 

“You got the signs, Peter?” Bucky asks. Peter nods and can’t help a smile that creeps upon his face. He’s been working on these signs all week, decorating them with stickers and glitter glue. They all clean up, thank Nat, and climb in the car. Steve is a reckless driver. Taking sharp turns and honking his horn every chance he get. I guess you gotta have some balls driving in Queens. They pull up to the ghetto once more and park near the field. A mass of people with bills in their hands are waiting to get in to the stadium. Loud music blasts over the speakers. People in their school’s colors, blue and yellow, can be seen from every angle, complimenting the pink and purple sky above. They finally get in, buying their tickets and climbing the bleachers to the student section.

The student section is massive. The upperclassmen clad in blue and yellow face paint. The freshman girls in skimpy outfits and the cheerleaders on the field in their short skirts and leotards. Some have air-horns and maracas, a couple of seniors boys have mega phones. None of this compare to the signs. Four sophomore boys have one letter of Thor’s name painted on their belly in blue spraypaint. A couple of freshman girls made LED signs for Pietro Maximoff. The boys don’t have to search long for a seat because a certain someone saved a bench for them. 

“Sup, dorks?” Carol calls out, tapping the bench next to her. They have the best seats in the house, first row of bleachers. They all sit down except for Peter. He dives down under the bleachers and grabs the signs. He dusts off some of the dirt. They look perfect. The glitter glue reflects off the Friday night lights, the caligraphy looking matte and smooth. He hands them out and the boys sit in awe at the pure artistry on the pieces of poster paper. 

“Not bad, Parker.” Bucky grins, stroking the paper, feeling the glitter against his skin. Soon, the athletic director announces the game is about to begin. With a gunshot, the football teams runs out from behind the blue and yellow paper and streamers. The boys and Carol jump up and wriggle their signs around. They spell out “WE LOVE GOD OF FOOTBALL #24”. Thor jumps around on field and stretches, getting ready for the first game of the season. He looks up through his helmet and spots the signs. A smile spreads across his face and blows a kiss. Peter feels his heart flutter. Hard work really does pay off. They sit down and watch the game, mostly watching Thor play. He’s so quick and powerful, like some sort of mutant fox, scurring around the field and destroying everything in his way. Steve is fawning over the cheerleaders, especially the lead one, Wanda. Bucky comments that Steve could make a better cheerleaders than any of the girls combined. Steve blushes. 

“Hey, wanna come with me and ‘relax’?” Wade winks. Peter rolls his eyes and nods. They excuse themselves and walk around the perimeter of the field. Peter’s hand traces the fence around the field while the other one brushes against Wade’s hand. They talk about nonsensical stuff, like homework and volleyball. They laugh about how painfully obvious it is that Bucky likes Steve and how Steve is completely oblivious. They walk behind the football shed, which stores extra helmets and cups, and Wade whips out his JUUL.

“Sir, I reward you with the first hit.” Wade geekily gets down one on knee and presents his JUUL to Peter. He lets out a hearty laugh and takes the JUUL from him, taking a soft and gentle hit. He exhales, feeling the mint tingle his tongue. Wade takes a hit and suddenly yet slowly pulls Peter closer. He leans down so Peter’s and Wade’s lips are almost touching, then he exhales. Peter inhales, feeling the vapor hit the back of his throat. Peter exhales and giggles, creating a mini vapor cloud between them. Wade chuckles back and leans in to kiss Peter. He kisses back, their lips move slow and sultry. 

Wade sighs and deepens the kiss, his tongue teasing Peter’s bottom lip. Peter, being the little tease he is, doesn’t let Wade slip his tongue into his youthful mouth. Wade grabs Peter’s ass, the flesh plump in his hand. Peter gasps and Wade’s tongue slips into Peter’s mouth, their tongue dancing. Wade ends the kiss by biting on Peter’s bottom lip, making it swell a ruby red color. They pull away, flushed and horny and eyeing each other for more. Peter’s curls are entangled into a mess and his eyes glossy with desperation. Wade chuckles and goes back in for more, feeling his pants getting tight at the sensation of Peter’s heat. Wade peppers kisses down Peter’s neck before suckling right about his collarbone, leaving a watercolor purple mark. 

Peter moans, feeling up and down Wade’s back. Suddenly, a bright light is flashed into Peter’s eyes. He squints them shut and feels Wade scurry out of the way. Peter rubs his eyes and feels himself freeze, just now realizing what is happening. Oh shit, they’ve been caught.

“You might want to put ice on that hickey, Parker.” Coach Stark calls out. He turns off his flashlight on his phone and walks forward. Wade squeaks out of fear and looks over to Peter where they lock eyes. Peter audibly gulps and cowers. Suddenly, Wade runs away and out to the ghetto, presumably out of fear and embarrassment. Coach Stark looks over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow, shaking his head and looking back at Peter. “You know you can’t do this on school grounds, right?”

“Y-Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” Peter murmurs, looking down at the grass below him. Stark’s callused hand tilts Peter’s chin up. They’re suddenly very close and he can feel Stark’s breath against his nose. Peter’s jeans begin to feel too tight. He feels something more, something intimate, like he wants to kiss him and push him up against the shed and ride him until he’s seeing stars. 

“You’re a good kid, Peter. Now get out of here before I change my mind.” Stark huffs, ruffling Peter’s curls. Peter nods and jogs out of there. He feels hot and bothered and slightly buzzed. He shouldn’t feel like that from Mr. Stark, no, it’s from Wade. It has to be. Peter looks back up at the student section and shakes his head, deciding he needs to go home. He needs to wash off the day, jerk one out, and dream about his delicious volleyball coach.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Better Days

Summary:  Some days are better than others. Edge would know.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

Notes: Been missing some of the side characters, seemed like a good time to pay them a visit!

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

At the exact time Edge always got up in the morning, his alarm went off. It barely sounded before he turned it off, scrubbing a gloved hand over his face as he sat up.

Next to him, Stretch stirred, his sockets barely opening. He caught sight of Edge and offered a sleepy smile before drifting back off, snuggling deeper in the warmth of the comforter. Edge’s soul cramped pleasantly at the sweet affection in that brief glance and he rested a hand lightly on Stretch’s back overtop the blanket, a silent return of that caring, before getting up.

By the time he stepped outside in his running clothes, the horizon was starting to lighten with burgeoning sunlight. The roads and sidewalks were clear for all that the temperature was below freezing, his route taking him past the school and the shops that were still closed. To him the cold was more bracing than uncomfortable, and he was sweating by the time he got back to their home.

Before he could go inside, he heard his name called behind him. Edge turned to see Jeff walking up the sidewalk. He was bundled up against the cold in an absurdly fluffy coat and mittens, only his eyes visible over the top of his scarf.

“Good morning,” Edge said, a touch warily, as he approached. “You’re here in town bright and early.”

“Yeah, Sans actually asked me to stop by,” Jeff’s breath froze in a cloud even through the scarf. “Said since his normal lab partner was taking a few days off, he needed a hand. I caught an early bus, though, so I thought I’d see if Stretch was awake.”

“Not in the slightest,” Edge assured him.

“Figured it was a long shot.” His grin was audible even as his teeth started chattering. He was visibly shivering even as bundled up as he was. Edge was better equipped to handle the low temperature with his HP. He didn’t doubt Stretch would shortcut directly into the chicken coop to feed their brood rather than step one foot out in it.

“That being said, you don’t need to spend the morning roaming the streets in this weather,” Edge told him crisply. “Come inside for coffee.”

“Now you’re speaking my language.”

In the time it took Jeff to strip off all his outdoor gear, Edge had a pot of coffee already brewing. Along with the cups, he set a plate of freshly made muffins on the table. Jeff plucked one up eagerly, tearing off the top and eating it with enough enthusiasm that Edge forgave him his messy habits.

“These are great,” Jeff said enthusiastically, hesitating as he reached for another, his fingers hovering uncertainly. Impatiently, Edge nudged the plate towards him, sipping his own coffee while Jeff liberated another muffin.

“I’m glad you like them,” Edge said. He grimaced as he watched Jeff pour cream and sugar into his own cup. No wonder he and Stretch got along so well, they probably had the same level of sucrose and caffeine in their bloodstreams. “What is it that Sans is going to have you working on?”

Jeff shrugged. “Beats me, but I thought it would be cool.”

Last week, that scenario wouldn’t have seemed ominous. But now…“I don’t believe I have to tell you to be careful and follow his direction?”

“Nope, but since you already did, I promise I will.” Jeff glanced at the ceiling, tilting his head towards the upstairs. “How is Stretch doing anyway?”

Edge didn’t care to discuss him with others, particularly his friend, despite knowing Jeff was coming from a place of concern. Instead, he said, “I believe he’d enjoy a visit from a friend, if you’re available after your finished with whatever Sans is subjecting you to.”

“I can probably manage that.” His enthusiastic tone belied the careless words.

A quick glance at the clock made Edge grimace. “I need to get going. You can stay here where it’s warm until you need to meet Sans, if you like.”

When they’d first met, if Edge had offered such a thing, he had no doubt Jeff would have awkwardly refused, perhaps even walked around outside shivering his way to illness until the allotted time.

Now he only hummed in agreement, reaching for another muffin. It gave Edge a feeling of satisfaction, to know Jeff was comfortable in his home. With a nod, he left Jeff to his coffee and went upstairs to quickly shower and change.

He had a stop to make before he went in to work.

~~*~~

The front walkway of his brother’s house was not shoveled, the snow damping Edge’s trouser legs as he waded through it. Not entirely a surprise; Red hardly needed to use the sidewalk and he was about as likely to make arrangements for someone to clear the snow as he was to do it himself.

The porch itself was swept mostly clear, the remaining snow tamped down, and Edge knocked firmly on the door, already making plans to contact one of the local teenagers about shoveling while Red was at work. He made another mental note to warn them not to step on the deceptively innocent porch. Not that his brother would set any fatal traps, but still…

When his brother didn’t answer the door, Edge knocked harder, impatiently, and he was about to try for a third when it finally opened, red eye lights peering at him through a narrow crack.

“boss?” Red asked, warily. He opened the door another bare inch, enough for Edge to discreetly push his foot through the opening.

“Not in a long time,” Edge corrected, and when his brother only stared at him, “Are you going to let me in?”

“think we can talk at work,” Red yawned, hugely and irritatingly fake.

“I am here now, and we will talk now.” He didn’t flinch as Red attempted to close the door on his foot, not even when he pushed harder, the bones threatening to crack. He only waiting patiently until Red gave in and opened the door, muttering vulgarities under his breath.

Edge pointedly ignored that there were two pairs of shoes on the mat, both distinct to their owners.

“all right, you’re in,” Red said impatiently. He was fidgeting oddly, picking at his gold tooth for a second before he caught himself, visibly forcing his hand down. That was a rare tell of nervousness; Red normally kept himself well under control.

“Sans…” Edge began, and he could only blink, nonplussed, as his brother abruptly let out what could only be called a verbal explosion.

“i’m not fucking talking to you about sans!” he snarled. “i don’t know what your pretty little goddamn liability has been telling you or what fucking business it is of his anyway, but he can wire his trap shut before i do it for him because—

Tempting as it was to let Red ramble on, if only to see what he would reveal in his careless anger, Edge was on a schedule. He was going to ignore the implied threat to his husband. This time.

“Brother,” Edge interrupted patiently. “I was referring to YOU. You may recall that I did call you Sans for most of my lifetime?”

To see his swaggering, overconfident brother deflate like a punctured birthday balloon was bordering on comical. Even his eye lights flickered, dimming as his temper cooled. “oh.”

“Oh, indeed. I only came over to return this.” He held out the e-cigarette he’d switched out yesterday. It hung in the air between them, Red staring at it with wide-eyed confusion that was no more convincing that his earlier yawn.

“what? why?” Red protested. “that was a gift! you can’t be pissy he’s vaping, it’s better than cigarettes. tell him to do it outside if it’s bugging you.”

He didn’t know whether it was more irritating that his brother was lying to him or that he wasn’t bothering to do it well.

“It’s not a matter of the vaping disturbing me. Your gifts come with strings. Or more likely wires,” Edge said dryly.

Red didn’t have the grace to bother with a sham of embarrassment. He only grinned as he finally took back the juul. “how’d you even know i gave it to him?”

“Simple. You just admitted it.”

“ah, fuck,” Red snickered. “never could fool you on everything.”

“You fool me on enough,” Edge shook his head. “I need to get to work. I suppose it would be useless to ask for a promise that you’ll stop trying to run surveillance on my husband?”

Red shrugged. “you can ask.”

“I’ll save my breath.” He debated on calling upstairs to Sans to let him know Jeff was waiting and decided against it. It was glaringly obviously Red didn’t want to talk about it with him and Edge wasn’t going to force the issue. Red was an adult, he could make his own choices, self-destructive as they probably were.

When he got back to his car, Edge took the time to knock any snow or wetness from his shoes and trouser legs before he climbed in. On the last harried drive to the hospital, they’d all tracked in dirty slush to stain the mats and upholstery. It hadn’t been a concern at the time, but he’d taken his car in to have it detailed over the weekend.

Normally he preferred to do his own cleaning, for their house and his office both. With a car, he’d deemed it best left to the professionals. The inside was like new, a cheery tree-shaped air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror.

He turned the radio station to an NPR station and drove to work.

~~*~~

The sense of relief that came over him to see Janice at her desk was indescribable. She looked a touch thinner and he could see the slight bulk beneath her jacket where he knew there was a bandage covering her stitches. But she gave him her normal smile when she looked up, professional and welcoming.

“Good morning,” Edge nodded at her.

“Good morning. I see you missed me,” Janice said wryly, gesturing to the neat but tall piles of folders and paperwork lined up on the end of her desk.

“Desperately,” he said honestly.

She looked startled but pleased. It turned into good-natured dismay when he set a paper bag on her desk and she groaned, “Did you bring in more muffins? I’ve already put on five pounds from what you’ve been sending to the house, you know.”

“Cranberry orange,” Edge told her and what was obviously only a thin hold on her control promptly broke.

“I’m going to ask for a raise for a new wardrobe,” she warned, fishing one out of the bag.

“You’d deserve a raise for your hard work.” He left her with that, her mouthful of muffin preventing any retort as he went into his office.

On his desk were neat stacks of papers, to sign, to review, to reject. Before he could do more than pull a stack towards him, his phone pinged and Edge picked it up with a frown, checking the message.

so if i come 2 meet u 4 lunch, can i borrow a kiss from u?

Amused, Edge sent back, You want to borrow a kiss?

yeah. promise 2 give it back

It was followed by a clutter of emoticons in various stages of kissing and heart eyes.

Edge could only shake his head, texting him back a time, then turned his attention to the stack of papers and got to work with an intensity, relaxing into the rhythm of it all.

Today was definitely a better day.

-finis-

[itsthwippingtime]

Ok so I have this headcannon that Peter gets into vaping to deal with his anxiety and he eventually ends up buying a juul even though he knows it’s bad for him. So he basically becomes addicted to it and he’s really embarrassed about it so he doesn’t tell anyone and then one day Tony finds out and he feels like he failed Peter because he didn’t want Peter to have addiction problems too and ughhhh you could literally write so much angsty shit about this.

i am so so so sorry this took so long i wanted to get it just right and then school and life got in the way and then it turned into this which was kinda unintentional  cause its 2598 words whoops and not exactly what you asked for but i hope you like it!!!

also thank you to the absolutely amazing Sophia @marvelbased for helping me out with this!!!

____

Peter’s not a stupid kid; he knows doing certain things or not doing certain things won’t make him cool. But going to parties was already nerve-wracking enough for him, it didn’t help to have Flash hounding him all night. Normally he would brush it off, ignore him, leave if it got really annoying but tonight -

Tonight was different. Peter was irritable, he had a shitty day of training yesterday and a shitty night of patrolling which turned into a shitty day at school. He wouldn’t have even come to this party if it weren’t for Ned and MJ. They really wanted to come and he promised he would go with them and Peter Parker - however irritable and grumpy he was - would never break a promise.

It was supposed to be one hit - honest. Ned tried to help, told him to just ignore Flash, “We can leave right now Peter, it’s fine, let’s just go.” One hit wouldn’t do anything, he wouldn’t even feel it, what with the spider bite and his heightened senses and all. Just once, and Flash is off his back, once to prove he’s capable of anything - he hangs out with the Avengers dammit! - just once to be accepted.

It’s just… he wasn’t expecting to like it.

Not the drug, nor the so-called ‘buzz’ most people got - it took twice as many hits as normal for him to even begin to feel a buzz, he later learned - but the feeling. The feeling of proving Flash wrong, standing up to him, proving that dammit he was capable.

He liked it. So ‘one hit and they were gone’ turned into MJ dragging Ned and Peter out by their ears, yelling things like “how could you be so fucking stupid!?” and “do you know what that stuff does to your body?!” and “you’re lucky I was even there, Ned wanted to call May!” Of course, she was just yelling at Peter, who glared at Ned.

Ned and MJ both were worried - Peter may be the smartest kid in their school but he’s a dumbass and this is exactly the kind of thing a dumbass would do. Vaping may not be a ‘hard drug’ but it was dangerous still and “I’ll be fine you guys. Do you know how much I’d have to vape before I even start getting addicted? It was one time, honest.” But the look in Peter’s eyes - eyes glassed over, as if his mind was in another place - worried MJ. Almost enough to call May. Almost.

Needless to say, it wasn’t ‘just this once.’ MJ and Ned - and multiple kids at school - were the only ones who knew. MJ regrets not calling May that first night. She regrets not calling May the minute she found out he continued to vape. But Peter begged her not to and “do you know how worried and freaked out she would be?” and “I’ll quit I promise I swear no more” and Peter Parker never breaks a promise

But May doesn’t need MJ to call her; she’s not stupid or oblivious and peter’s mood swings and outbursts have become much more recent and powerful than that of a typical teenage boy (even if said boy does have spider powers). Peter’s grumpier and snappier than normal and “cut the shit Peter, what’s going on? Is it something at school? Something with the Avengers?” and he always talks to her, more so now that she knows about Spider-Man, but “It’s nothing just leave it alone.”

Tony noticed too. Peter didn’t come around the tower much anymore and when he did he wasn’t as enthusiastic to be training with the Avengers or working in the lab - if fact, it had been weeks since Peter even stepped foot in the lab of his own free will. But the turning point, the moment Tony really realized something was most definitely wrong was when May called Tony.  She said she wanted to talk to Peter about their plans for Saturday and why he wasn’t answering his phone. Tony explained Peter wasn’t there and May explained that Peter left a note saying he was going to spend the night at the tower. May apologized, thanked him for his time, and - although Tony could hear the frown in her voice and wanted to reassure her - ended the call.

It only got worse as the weeks went on. May and Tony’s worry increases exponentially. Peter stops going to the tower altogether - even for required training exercises - and pretty much completely stops talking to May. If he does talk to her, he’s complaining of nausea or headaches. She wants to take him to the doctor - it’s almost every day that he complains of one or the other - but she knows they won’t be able to help him. She all but begs him to go see Tony or Bruce and he all but refuses. There’s something more going on - she just wishes he would tell her.

Tony calls twice a week, at least. Each time it’s the same routine. He’ll call Peter - leave him a message, ask how his week has been, ask him why he hasn’t been patrolling as much, asks him to call him back, wishes him well and hangs up - then he’ll call May and actually get an answer. He asks for an update on Peter, always the same answer - “He’s not around enough for me to notice a change” - asks how she is, what he can do to help, and wishes her well before ending the call. The normalcy of the routine would be comforting if he could figure out what was wrong with Peter.

During one phone call, May suggests they, for lack of a better word, snoop.

“I don’t like it any more than you do, but what if he’s in danger, Tony? What if he’s so far gone he doesn’t feel like he can ask for help anymore?”

“I won’t snoop May. I won’t invade his privacy like that and I won’t violate his trust like that. I can’t tell you what to do but I hope you make the right decision. We have to give Peter our trust, we have to show him that we trust him because if we don't…. If we don’t our relationships with him may suffer even more. If he’s in danger we have to trust that he’ll come to us. He might wait until the last minute but he will come to us. We have to trust him May.”

She sighs and agrees, understanding why they shouldn’t, why they can’t. But at 2:00 am on a Tuesday night in October Tony and May alike consider going to his room in their respective living areas just to find out what the fuck is going on.

May shows up at exactly 2:03 am on Tuesday morning. Tony, as per usual these days, is up late in the lab. Tony can see that she’s been crying. He doesn’t even have to ask what’s wrong before she starts explaining how Peter never came home from school, how she later got a call saying he hadn’t been to school at all that day, about she hoped he was patrolling and waited up for him, how he never came home and she doesn’t know what to do and he won’t answer his phone and “don’t you have a damn tracker on him” and “what if he’s in trouble” and-

And Tony cuts her off, telling her they’ll find him, whatever’s going on with him they’ll figure it out, it’ll be okay. He spends the better part of 20 minutes reassuring her and trying to calm her down, even if he doesn’t believe everything he’s saying himself. Once it seems like she’s a bit calmer than when she arrived, he tells Friday to pull up the map for the tracker he put in Peter’s suit. The flashing red dot shows Peter’s last location - somewhere in Hells Kitchen - from two weeks ago. Tony can feel his heart jump, his stomach doing somersaults as he tries to override whatever blocker Peter put on the tracker this time. Nothing works. May is silent as he works and he’s not entirely sure how he feels about that. He tells her to go get some sleep, to use Peter’s room. She tells him that she won’t relax until Peter’s safe.

Tony puts his earpiece in as he tells Friday to contact Karen or direct him straight to Peter.

“Karen appears to be offline, boss”

“What? Karen is never supposed to go offline. Unless…”

Tony trails off.

“Unless what?” May asks, sounding more on edge than ever.

“Peter wouldn’t. Would he?”

“Wouldn’t what Tony? I need answers here!”

“Peter has the ability to override Karen, completely shut her down in the unlikely event that she makes a call that is unsafe for Peter.”

May chooses to ignore the part about a potentially evil AI system threatening Peter, which Tony is grateful for.

“And it would explain why his tracker hasn’t been picked up in two weeks but…. He wouldn’t. I can’t think of any situation where he’d have to do so.”

Tony sits and thinks. Silently. At this moment, Pepper quietly comes into the lab, seemingly woken up by a lack of Tony in bed.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve gotta go out and find him.”

“Find who?” Pepper says, completely lost in the conversation she just jumped into head first.

“I want to go too,” May adds.

“No. It’s too late and you’ll be more helpful here. I need you to monitor the tracking device. I’m going to try to get Karen back online while looking for him. If that red dot changes, I need you to tell me.”

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Pepper says, visibly agitated at being out of the loop and up so early.

May begins to catch Pepper up on the recent events as Tony goes to suit up. Once he’s in the air he tells FRIDAY to start running diagnostics on the last data input sent in from Karen - location, time, amount of data, video files, audio files, anything they could use to get Karen back online - and to scan the area. When the scan comes up negative he moves on. He scans every last inch of New York, personally searches every one of Peter’s favorite places. He’ll search all night if he has to. The last thing Tony wants to do it show up back at the tower empty-handed.

It’s 4:23 am when Tony finally, finally comes up with something.

“There’s movement on the Whitestone Bridge, boss.”

Tony jets over, as fast as he can. He sees something at the top of one of the columns. As he gets closer he sees his Peter. His heart stops and jumps into his throat and he feels like he’s going to throw up all his organs. Not wanting to startle Peter, he quietly lands on the opposite end of the column. He makes his footsteps loud enough for Peter to notice so as not to startle Peter too much when he speaks, making him aware of his presence. The twitch of his ears lets him know he’s done that job. Now comes the hard part.

“Pete? Hey buddy… what are you doing up here?” He speaks slowly and surely.

Peter doesn’t answer. There’s nothing for him to swing on. If he jumps… that’s it.

“Peter, step away from the edge.” Tony’s careful to keep the edge out of his voice, hoping to calm Peter down by appearing calm himself. Peter doesn’t move, apart from looking at Tony from the corner of his eye. It’s something, Tony thinks.

“Peter, what’s going on kid? Talk to me, I’m here. I need you to talk to me.”

Peter sniffles and wipes his eyes. He’s been crying.

“What’s going on?”

“I didn’t mean to.” His voice is so soft and quiet, Tony almost misses it.

“Mean to what? What happened?”

“I tried. Honest Mister Stark I tried. I just…”

He trails off. Tony slowly moves to sit beside him.

“That’s all any of us can do Pete, is try. You tried your best and sometimes it doesn’t work out but at least you tried.”

“But that’s the thing, I didn’t try my best, I wasn’t my best, I tried but I knew it was my best and it’s my fault and and”

He worked himself up and Tony pulled him closer.

“And what?”

“She could die.”

Tony’s stomach dropped.

“Who?”

“She’s so tiny Mister Stark. Little girl, five, maybe six years old. She didn’t wake up, they tried to do CPR but she wouldn’t wake up and they took her to the hospital and there was so much blood and….

“And she could die. And it would be my fault.”

Tony doesn’t know what happened that night, what happened that caused a little girl being sent to the hospital - he made a mental note to check up on her and her family as soon as possible - and he doesn’t know what Peter had been going through in these last few weeks. All he knows is that right now his main priority is to show Peter that it wasn’t his fault - he tried - and get him off this bridge.

“Peter it is not your fault. Whatever happened tonight, whatever happened before, it is not your fault you can’t believe that.”

“I only made it worse.”

“You’re Spider-Man, you couldn’t possibly make it worse.”

“I shouldn’t have gone to help.”

“That little girl might not have a chance in the hospital if you hadn’t.”

“I’m sick.”

Tony, for what seems like the umpteenth time tonight, feels like he might puke.

“What do you mean you’re sick.”

“I’m sick. I’m not in the right frame of mind. I haven’t been for a while and I wasn’t when I went to help and I’m still not. And I’m sick.”

It isn’t until then that Tony notices Peter clutching something in his left hand, as he opens it up to show him. It’s a fucking Juul.

“Peter,” careful to keep all emotion out of his voice “this made you sick?”

“It’s a long story. But yes. The spider bite made it harder to feel anything so I-I vaped more than the average person would in one sitting. Apparently, I vaped more than the average spider person should too.” Peter chuckles dryly and if Tony wasn’t already on edge before, that would have set him off. “I’m sick - mentally and physically - and I don’t-I don’t know how to get better.”

Tony was disappointed and confused and hurt and a billion other emotions he wasn’t sure he even knew about. But most of all, he was scared. Scared for Peter. What would have happened if May didn’t come to the tower tonight? How far would this have gone? Why didn’t Peter feel like he could come to him or May with these? He needed the answers to all these questions, but now wasn’t the time.

“You get better with time Pete. Time and help and support from those who love you and want to see you get better. We’ll get through this together yeah?” Peter nodded, eyes watery, a sad smile on his face. “You’re strong kid. You’ll get through this, but you won’t be alone.”

The future held a lot of unknowns, or both Peter and Tony. It will be scary and tough and stressful and frustrating. There will be a lot of tears, a lot of screaming fights and slamming doors. But they’re strong. They’ll get through it.

____

Im so sorry for how long this is it was an accident my b

also if ya know people like it i might do one from more Peter’s POV since this was really more from Tony/May’s POV. Let me know what you think, feel free to send feedback in messages, comments, or asks!!! 

[partlycharlie-archive]

i'm high off of love (and other lies)

summary: Bucky smiles with crinkly eyes. "Okay, cool. Are you high?" The short blond gasps with fake betrayal, slaps a wild hand to a tiny chest and frowns at himself when it triggers a cough. "Who, me? Nooo." "Right. Sure." (otherwise known as: somebody does too much too fast, and it's not bucky.) word count: 5131 warnings: mentions of [underage] alcohol, drugs, food, and a semi-graphic depiction of vomiting a/n: this is my longest fic ever what the Fuck??? how???? anyway this is based off a real life experience and . hope you enjoy!!!! woohoo read on ao3

Bucky leans into the doorway, pokes his head in through the slot and pretends not to notice Rhodey spilling a bag of tortilla chips directly into his mouth in the corner. Natasha and Clint poke their heads in directly above them, and Bucky can only imagine how much they look like a scene in a cliché spy movie.

“You guys look straight out of a fuckin’ spy movie. What the hell are you doing?” Tony asks incredulously, gesturing a lazy hand in representation of the party room - he called it; they look ridiculous. Bucky starts to slide open the door, but gets interrupted by Natasha shoving him in the middle of his back and stumbles in instead.

He finds he doesn’t really care enough to be embarrassed.

“Bro.” Bucky glances over to see Clint already scoping out the room, and it’s clear his exclamation stems from the view out of the full-length windows. “I can see the fucking Empire State Building. I don’t know why it’s purple, but I definitely don’t mind.” Bucky stares out onto the skyline and sees that Clint’s right - Tony’s building is on 93rd and 2nd, but the 46th floor party room means that they can see all the way to midtown. The Chrysler building shines as if a million tiny diamonds were placed in each window.

“Yup.” Tony smirks, popping the ‘p’ obnoxiously. “I spare no expense.”

“You made each of us pay ten bucks,” Natasha interjects, eyebrow creeping up to her hairline.”

“Yeah, well. Profit.” Tony smiles, mouth stretching like plastic before it settles into something more familiar. His eyes crinkle.

 ._.

 “Hey! How are you?” He can barely hear Steve's slurred words over the pounding music in his ears, but a lifetime of reading lips helps him fill in the blanks.

“I'm fine, Steve. You? How're you liking the party so far? What about pronouns?”

Steve burps. "It's awesome! Sucks that we can't have any 'substances'," they complain, dragging out the last word like a curse, "but all in all it's been pretty lit." 

They lean forward to grab the Diet Coke sitting on the table and fill a red cup with it, sipping just a bit and smiling to themself at the taste. “Oh - he/him is fine, thanks love.” He giggles a bit.

Bucky smiles with crinkly eyes. "Okay, cool. Are you high?"

The short blond gasps with obviously faked betrayal, slaps a wild hand to a tiny chest and frowns at himself when the action triggers a cough. "Who, me? Nooo." He slings an arm around Bucky’s shoulders and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek, and Bucky can’t help but smile.

"Right. Sure." Bucky snorts and rolls his eyes. "I'll catch you later, alright?”

Steve doesn't bother with a verbal reply, choosing instead to flash a sloppy salute, smile brightly and stumble away.

“You’re so gay.”

“Fuck off,” he snorts, still watching Steve as he walks into Nat. He immediately slings a slender arm around her shoulder, babbling away at the teenagers in front of him and giggling at something unknown.

“Don’t hate me because I tell the truth, love.” Peggy exaggerates her accent with the last word, and Bucky smiles softly despite himself.

He turns around in his seat to face the girl, taking her in with a sweep of his eyes. She’s dressed in a pair of black skinny  jeans and a soft beige sweater, light and soft makeup and hair tucked into a loose bun.

“You look lovely, by the way.”

“Really? Thanks - I was worried a bit about being too cold, but this is working pretty well.”

Bucky smirks into his cup. “Hey, do you think it still counts as gay if he’s genderfluid?”

 ._.

 "Is that a weed? I'm calling the police!" Bruce softly mimics the beeps of a microwave, a goofy smile lingering on his face. He shivers with an incoming gust of wind but doesn’t seem to notice.

Darcy rolls her eyes so viciously Bucky can almost imagine them rolling off, dropping onto the table in front of them and staring at Bruce judgmentally. It doesn’t actually happen, and Bucky finds himself mildly disappointed. "It's a juul, you dumbass."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I’m not a fuckin’ idiot. It's called a circle for a reason, dammit, Darcy stop hogging it." Bruce holds his hand out insistently and Darcy takes a deep inhale, holding the smoke in her chest while she passes the juul to him. He imagines he can see the Empire State Building reflected in Bruce’s slow smile.

Bucky shifts in his cross-legged position, watching as Bruce breathes in the smoke slowly. He coughs as he lets it out and stares at Darcy with narrowed eyes while smoke wafts lazily out of his mouth. "Jesus fuck, Darcy, I feel like I just swallowed a pack of fucking Altoids, what the hell?"

"Well? That's what happens when you put your juul in a mint tin. I dunno what to tell you, man."

Bucky laughs quietly and holds a hand out, palm facing the sky, looking to Bruce for the vape. He inhales, quickly and without any regrets. Smoke coughs out with a breathless laugh.

Jesus, that's minty.

 ._.

 “Hey, can I get the thing of chips?” Bruce nods wordlessly and passes the container of chips to Bucky, who grabs a handful and walks away. He grabs one from his palm and munches on it, absentmindedly swinging his hips to the beat of the music.

Someone comes up behind him and snatches a chip from his hand, settling lanky arms around his waist and resting a sharp chin on his hair.

Peter.

Bucky smiles reflexively, shoving the rest of the chips into his mouth and turning in place, sliding his hands over the kid’s shoulders. “Hey, Pete. How ‘ya doin’?” Peter smiles down at Bucky, and he clasps his hands tightly around Bucky’s back, silently persuading him to move with shuffling feet until they’re slow dancing to a rap song.

“I’m good! Kinda bummed that Ned couldn’t come,” Peter’s mouth twisting into a wistful grin, “y’know, because of that thing with his mom? But MJ’s here, so everything’s chill at the moment-o.” He stretches out the ‘o’ in the last word, and Bucky can’t help but snort at his destruction of the English language.

Bucky takes the chance to glance around the room. “Oh, awesome. Where’s MJ? I haven’t seen her in a while.” Peter hums thoughtfully.

“Huh. Now that you mention it, I haven’t either… oh, found her.” He giggles suddenly. “I’ll turn you around.” Peter does as promised, and Bucky almost immediately breaks out into laughter. MJ sits, deeply asleep, on Tony’s lap, who’s chatting with a half-asleep Bruce.

“Glad to know she’s having fun, I guess.”

Peter laughs. “Yeah, definitely. Oh - can you do me a favor?” Bucky leans back to look at Peter, who seems the slightest bit uncomfortable.

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” The other teen bites his lip momentarily.

“Sorry, it’s just. I have this really bad itch? It’s right above the bottom of my binder, and I’ve been trying for half an hour to scratch it but I can’t fucking get it, so. Yeah.” He trails off awkwardly and Bucky laughs hard, snaking a hand into the back of Peter’s button-down shirt to scratch at the place he had described.

Peter slumps over almost immediately. “You’re a fucking godsend- holy shit, I love you.”

He snorts. “Yeah, I know. Yo, Tony!” Tony jumps the tiniest bit, and leans his head back so that he can see the person who called his name.

“What’s up, dude?”

Bucky takes his arm out of Peter’s shirt (and why the hell hadn’t he done that sooner? jesus) and fishes his phone out of his pocket. “You got any outlets I can use?” he asks, flashing the device at Tony. He points to the corner and Bucky flashes a salute at him. He smiles brightly at Peter, who, still laughing softly, breaks away to get himself a drink.

He heads to the back room, grabs a charger from his bag and plugs the phone into the outlet in the corner, smiling with satisfaction when it lights up.

Now to hope I don’t forget it.

 ._.

 "Sharon, you have the vodka right?" Sharon doesn't jump despite the sudden whisper in her ear, and Bucky can't help but admire her for it.

"Yeah. I had blueberry, but someone -" she glances at Peggy, who's grinding up against an East Asian guy with bright blue hair - "drank all of it, so I only have straight. You want?"

"If you don't mind."

"For you? Of course. You know where it is?"

He smiles. "The silver bottle in your bag, right?"

She tips finger guns toward him, pianist's fingers lined with soft pink nail polish.

“Careful, though - I had to put it in the freezer back at my place, so it’s probably going to taste off for a bit.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Thanks.”

Bucky heads to the back room, finds Sharon's bag - small, black, and with an unreasonable amount of zippers - and pulls out the grey bottle, sniffing cautiously once he gets it open.

It smells like fucking rubbing alcohol.

He shrugs and takes a swig, feeling a shudder run down his spine at the burn that rushes through his throat.

 ._.

 "Waitwaitwait - let me get this straight -"

Bucky snorts. "Ha, straight."

Maria lifts a perfectly plucked eyebrow. He wonders where she got them done - there's no way she did them herself. "Wow, you're so funny. Anyway - so you're saying he likes me, but he just got into a relationship and he doesn't wanna risk it?"

He quirks a rueful grin. "Yeah, some white dude named Riley? He's not here, though."

"Fuck," she sighs, and Bucky takes a sip of his Coke. "Well, his bitch doesn't have to know!"

Bucky almost immediately chokes on his drink, laughing even as he struggles to swallow it. As he manages to get the soda down his throat, Steve drops into the chair next to him with a groan and Bucky jumps.

"Hey, you okay?" he asks, placing a cautious hand on the blond's back.

Steve groans. "I don' feel good."

"Okay..." Bucky mutters, eyes narrowing. "Hey Maria, can you get me a bottle of water from the fridge?”

“Yeah, no problem.” She hops off her chair, walking around the bar to enter the tiny kitchen. Steve lifts his head to watch her walk away, and Bucky stops short for a second. Steve’s eyes are lined with a thin layer of eyeliner, and his eyelids shine with gold that somehow reflects against the soft lighting in the room. Bucky can distantly see the layer of blush someone must have dusted onto high cheekbones, the lipstick smeared onto frowning lips. The rosy tint matches, somehow, with the maroon painted onto his fingertips.

“Who did your makeup?” he asks, and lays a hand carefully in his hair.

Steve pushes into the touch, nuzzling softly into the calloused palm carding through his hair. “Mmm - Bruce, once I asked ‘im.”

“It looks really good.”

Steve mumbles something that might be “Thanks” right as Maria comes back with the bottle of water, handing it to Bucky with the cap already twisted off.

He signs Thank you - three fingers tipped forward from his chin - at her, figuring it’d be best to only talk to Steve for the moment.

“Hey, love, can you drink this for me?” Steve nods shallowly, takes the water bottle in shaky hands and gulps until the bottle is empty and crushed in his hands. Maria leaves without Bucky having to ask her, returning with two more bottles and nodding in response to his thankful smile.

Bucky shoves the first one in between his knees and cracks it open, passing it to Steve. “I’m gonna go grab some food, ‘kay? Wait here for me.” He nods shakily and Bucky circles around him to the food table, grabs a plate and loads it with lukewarm pasta and a fork.

When he comes back, Steve is finishing off the first water bottle. He sets the food down in front of the blond and places an arm around his shoulders. “Eat, alright?” He nods and picks up the fork, curling his body into a comma to fit into Bucky’s torso. Bucky opens the second one, taking a sip before tipping it slowly into Steve’s waiting mouth. It’s almost empty by the time Steve is done, so Bucky finishes off what’s left of it and drops it in the garbage.

“You think you’ll be alright to take care of him?” Bucky shifts his body to see Maria better and he takes in her concern, the way her eyebrows (seriously, he has to find out who does them for her) twist and she sucks the fat of her cheeks into her mouth. He smiles gently at her.

“Nah. I only had a few puffs off’a Darcy, so I’m good, promise,” he responds, then turns his attention back to Steve, whose eyes are shut tightly. “Steve, love, do you want to go sit on the floor?” He nods slightly and stands up, grabbing onto Bucky’s shirt tightly. Bucky takes one pale hand in his, covers it tightly. They walk over to an empty space of floor right next to the door, Bucky supporting Steve, and sit on the floor.

He maneuvers them so that Steve ends up sitting in between his legs, back pressed against chest and Steve’s head leaning on his shoulder. Again, Steve curls up into Bucky’s body and he responds automatically, shifting to accommodate him and running a soothing hand across his back. The metal plates in his arm realign themselves to hold the additional weight of Steve’s back. He presses a soft kiss to the top of Steve’s head.

Bucky lets himself scan the room while Steve shakes against him. Darcy and Jane are giggling on top of each other, Maria’s toasting with Sam about something, MJ’s still asleep on Tony’s lap - with Peter sitting next to them and smiling - and Bruce across from them, snoring softly with his head pillowed on Thor’s shoulder. Peggy and Sharon are blowing smoke into the wind out on the balcony, Rhodey next to them and Pepper on his lap. A collection of people he doesn’t know are dancing to a random pop song - something about the capital of Cuba?

After a couple of minutes of oddly calm silence, Sam walks by with a cup in his hand. He stops, and turns to the two with a curious tilt of his head. “They okay?”

Bucky smiles. “He’s fine, yeah. Could you do me a favor, though?” Sam nods with a kind smile and lidded eyes. He wonders if Sam managed to coerce Darcy into a hit. “Thanks - would you mind grabbing me a couple of waters from the fridge and a sandwich? The kind with the soft bread. Oh - and you don’t have to, if you have too much to carry or something, it’s not really important - but a cup of Diet Coke would be awesome? Yeah.”

Sam laughs quietly. “Yeah, no problem. I’m going to leave my cup here, though.” He bends down and places his drink to the left of Bucky’s outstretched leg, outside of the range of Steve’s body. As Sam walks away, Steve pushes his head softly into Bucky’s cheek and he leans his head on Steve’s in response, taking off the fake glasses Bucky had put on purely for the purpose of looking like even more of a hipster.

Sam comes back and sits heavily next to Bucky with a grunt, unloading with everything he brought. Along with two sandwiches, half a plate of pasta, and Bucky’s drink, he managed to fit three water bottles and a small bag of chips in the pockets of his sweater.

God bless men’s clothing.

Bucky takes one of the sandwiches and passes it carefully to the blond curled in his lap (“C’mon, love, just one bite, please,”), who takes it and nibbles on a corner. Sam passes him the Coke and he takes a large swig, sighing in relief at the cold feeling rushing down his chest.

He feels a sudden tap on his chest and looks down.

“Ma’s pickin’ me up at ten,” he mutters. “I need t’ be okay by nine thirty.” Bucky narrows his eyes.

As if.

Bucky snorts. “Okay, no problem,” he assures Steve, who immediately turns back into his chest. Sam raises an incredulous eyebrow at Steve’s slurred declaration, and Bucky returns the unspoken question with a shrug. What can you do?

._.

Bucky checks the time on his phone (“Hey, Nat, can you grab me my phone from the corner?” “That’s a lot of work.” “Yes, I know, that’s why I’m not doing it.” “Touché.”). 8:57 - so he’s got maybe fifteen minutes before he has to start getting Steve up? Good enough.

Suddenly, the teenager in question sits up, back ramrod straight and a pale shaky hand pressed to his mouth, and Bucky immediately understands what’s about to happen.

“Go, go, go, go -” and it’s too late; liquid-like vomit spills from Steve’s mouth and onto the floor. Bucky winces as parts land on his shins - oh well, these jeans were an (admittedly nice) present from his homophobic grandmother, he doesn’t need them - and boots, and leaps to his feet. Steve is one step ahead of him, stumbling on shaky feet and running into the bathroom.

“Woah - holy shit, what happened?” he hears at least five separate people ask, and resists the urge to flip them off. It’s pretty obvious what just happened, after all.

Bucky stands up calmly, pockets his phone, and snags both a water bottle and a napkin from the bar in front of the kitchen.

He walks to the back room where a group of people are huddled around the girls bathroom - the one closest to the entrance, which is probably why Steve went into that one - all talking over each other to ask if Steve’s okay, and does he need anything, and what should they do to help, and how does he -

Whatever.

Bucky shoves his way through the crowd, friends and classmates parting easily once they see the look on his face.

Bucky knocks on the door gently; once, twice, three times. “Hey, it’s me. Can I come in?”

Steve makes a noise that could be a yes (maybe it’s a no, but damn it if he doesn’t care), and Bucky opens the door.

The first thing he notices is Steve, standing in front of the sink with his knuckles clenched so tightly they’re white. Bucky’s eyes scan the room, landing on the toilet - vomit filled - the floor - also vomit filled - and the sink - he’s starting to sense a pattern here, and it doesn’t feel like a good one.

Steve looks up when Bucky enters the cramped room, wiping a hand across his mouth and wiping his hand on his sweater. “Hey.”

“... hey. How are you feeling?” Steve shrugs - his legs are shaking, and he looks about two seconds away from bursting into tears.

“Surprisingly okay, actually.” Bucky just hums in response.

He pulls his shirt off and places it on the corner of the sink, which (not so coincidentally) is almost the only dry spot on the table. Left in just his undershirt, he walks the few steps over to Steve, thanking the God he doesn’t believe in that he didn’t take off his shoes, as was his instinct when he first got to the party.

Steve stands still as Bucky carefully lifts his sweater over his arms, whispering “Arms up, love,” to him as it gets pulled up and off. He stands stock still, shivering with thin arms wrapped around himself. Bucky grabs a paper towel from the automatic dispenser (seriously, how fucking fancy is this place? This is getting kind of ridiculous) and wets it lightly with warm water, softly wiping Steve’s face - and yes, maybe he wipes a bit behind his ears, but he already knows that he’s a fucking sap so that detail is entirely unimportant, thank you.

Bucky grabs his shirt from the corner and passes it to Steve, gesturing for him to put it on. The shirt dwarfs him - no surprise, considering it’s his dad’s, and his dad is one of the biggest guys he knows- and Bucky rolls up the sleeves so that his fingers can be seen. He smooths his hands down Steve’s arms once he’s done, smiling softly.

“Can you -” Steve starts.

Bucky looks back from where he’s hanging the sweater up on a hook. “Yeah?” he asks quietly, letting his hands drop.

“C-could you ask Tony if I could have, like, a shower, maybe? I just -” He gestures to his body.

“Yeah, no problem.”

Bucky walks out of the room, shutting the door carefully. He walks out to the main room, hoping to find Tony, but his face is indistinguishable from all of the others dancing.

“Yo, Tony!” Bucky yells into the crowd. A head pops up among the swaying people, and the teenager weaves his way through to get to Bucky.

“Yeah? How’s Steve doing?”

“He’s…” he trails off, and waves his hand back and forth. “He could be better, I guess. Listen, do you think you could convince your dad or whoever to let him shower, and maybe a change of clothes?” Tony bites his lower lip, and his eyes dart around the room nervously, finally landing on the balding man leaning against the kitchen wall.

“I’ll, uh. I’ll ask Jarvis, okay? No promises, though. Sorry,” he says, and hurries towards the butler with an apologetic shrug.

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, barely noticing the motion in his anxious state of mind. He goes through the list of possibilities - he’s already asked Tony, doesn’t Peter live like three blocks away? He supposes that’s a last resort, if anything.

He glances over at Tony, who’s currently in the midst of a hushed conversation with Jarvis. Bucky can barely hear what they’re saying, but the sympathetic way Jarvis calls Tony “young sir” tells him it can’t be anything good.

A few seconds later, Tony turns back to him and shakes his head slightly. Bucky sucks in his cheeks, but mouths It’s fine at Tony and returns to Steve, rubbing a hand across his face.

“So, uh. Howard’s a dick so you can’t shower here, but I’m going to talk to Peter, okay? He’s a couple blocks away, I’ll ask him.” Steve looks up from where he’s hunched over the sink, splashing his face, and nods.

He walks up to the living room and pokes Peter, who tips his chair backwards to look at Bucky with what he assumes is supposed to be an unimpressed expression, but just looks mildly distressed. “Yeah?”

“Can Steve come over to your place for a shower?”

Peter looks incredibly excited. “Yeah, of course!” he exclaims, then falters. “Well, maybe I should ask Aunt May first. But I’m sure she’ll say yes! I’ll let you know.” He pulls out his phone, presumably to send a text to his aunt, and Bucky starts to turn away -

“Hey, Peter?” He looks up with raised eyebrows. “Did you bring a jacket with you?”

“Uh, yeah - it’s just a varsity jacket, but yeah. Why, do you - oh.” He looks down at Bucky’s chest and rolls his eyes at his absentmindedness. “I’ll go grab it for you.”

“Thanks,” he says, smiling gratefully. Bucky follows Peter into the back room, and he puts on the varsity jacket that Peter passes him, not bothering to button it up.

Peter’s phone buzzes, and they both freeze, one of the plates of Bucky’s arm getting caught on a loose thread.

“She said yes!” Peter shouts excitedly, while Bucky groans exaggeratedly at the minor inconvenience. “Oh shit, do you want help with that?” Bucky waves him off with his free arm, pulling at the sleeve until the thread detaches and he can pull his arm through again.

Bucky pops his head into the bathroom. “Hey love, you ready to go? Peter’s aunt said it’s no problem.”

The boy in question wraps his arms around his torso and nods. “Can you - can you grab m-my bookbag for me?”

He nods, mouth stretched into a wide smile to hide his concern, and grabs Steve's bookbag, along with his own jacket. Bucky passes the jacket to Steve and watches as it swallows his body whole, Steve’s fingers poking out of the navy blue sleeves.

Bucky grabs Steve’s sweater from the hook it’s hanging on inside the bathroom and rolls it up into a ball, trying to make sure none of the leftover vomit can touch him. Bucky slings the bookbag over his shoulder and walks out, glancing back to make sure that Steve knows to follow him.

“Yo, Tony - I’m heading out, my shit’s in the back room. Watch over it for me, okay?” Tony nods in response, and Bucky smiles back. He nudges Peter, who’s standing right next to Tony, and he pivots rapidly, nods at Bucky and Steve, and holds the door open for the both of them. They walk to the elevator, get in, go down, get out.

It’s all very monotonous.

The walk to Peter’s apartment is, too - his aunt’s place is, apparently, only “like, three or so?” blocks away, and he doesn’t bother making conversation with the two shivering boys walking next to him. Steve tucks his arm into the crook of Bucky’s elbow.

At one point, Steve nudges him slightly. He holds out his phone, already open to his messages with his mom, and folds it carefully into Bucky’s bare hand. He grasps it with both hands and sends a text to Steve’s mom (Hey, Sarah - it’s Bucky. Steve got really sick during a party; is it okay if you pick him up at my friend’s house instead?), shoving it in his pocket afterwards.

Eventually, they reach Peter’s building - he unlocks the door with a bronze key, and they climb up four flights of stairs before reaching 4B. They make it up the stairs, only to find the door already unlocked. Bucky can hear the distant sounds of water running from where he assumes the bathroom is.

Bucky loves Peter’s aunt.

He knocks on the door before entering, and Aunt May almost immediately swings her head out from the kitchen, balancing on one foot with her upper body tilted sideways. “Hey, kids!” she says brightly, making sure to keep her voice low. “Shower’s that way -” she points in the direction of the water, and Bucky totally called it, “- and there’s body wash, shampoo, conditioner, the works. The purple loofah is yours and there’s a blue towel on the toilet for you, okay?”

Steve smiles weakly and sits down on the small seat next to the door, leaning down to untie his sneakers. He stops halfway, chest resting against his shins, and rests his head on a knee in defeat. Bucky sighs lightly and sits down in front of him, unties the shoelaces of his left sneaker for him and taps his shin gently.

“Lift, please?” Steve does as requested and Bucky pulls the shoe off of him, grasping him by the ankle to help the process along. He takes off Steve’s sock, too, and shoves it into the shoe. Bucky repeats the action with his right foot and lifts himself up, grasping Steve’s hands in order to help him up too.

He cups Steve’s cheek with a calloused hand. “Are you going to be okay in there?” he asks with a wrinkle in his eyebrows. “You know I don’t mind going in with you.” He really doesn’t - to be honest, he’s lost count of how many times he’s seen Steve naked for one reason or another.

Steve shakes his head, though, and walks on unsteady feet towards the bathroom. Once Bucky sees him close the door behind him, he drops into a crouch, slips off his shoes quick as lightning, and springs back up while sliding Peter’s jacket off.

“Hey, Pete, do you think Steve can borrow some of your clothes?”

Peter shrugs nonchalantly. “Yeah, sure, as long as he gives it back at some point.” He leads Bucky into his bedroom, and together they pull out a pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweater. Bucky takes them with a nod of thanks and heads to the bathroom.

Bucky knocks on the door softly. “It’s just me, love. Can I come in?” Steve hums in reply and Bucky takes it as a yes, opening the door slowly.

“I’m dropping your clothes on the toilet seat, okay? They’re right here.” He grabs his discarded shirt and slips it on.

“Thanks,” Steve mumbles, and Bucky closes the door softly behind him.

 ._.

 “Left foot, love.” Steve props his left foot on Bucky’s knee, wiggling his toes, and Bucky smiles while he shuffles the bright pink sock onto his foot. He shoves Steve’s shoe back onto his foot, ties up the laces, and repeats with Steve’s other foot. He taps Steve’s knee once he’s done and stands up, stretching with a wince when he hears his back crack (ha, he rhymed).

“Okay, your mom texted me - she’s almost here. Ready to go?” Steve nods and stands up with a sigh. Bucky grabs his bookbag, the plastic bag filled with vomit-y clothes, and his jacket, and Peter holds out the jacket Steve had dug out of his bag for him to slip into.

“Thanks, Aunt May!” Bucky yells, and gets a chirpy “No problem!” in response. They walk down the flights of stairs and Sarah’s leaning against the awning outside, scrolling through something on her phone. She looks up when they step outside, and her eyes crinkle when she sees Bucky and Steve, though her smile outshines it all when her eyes land on Peter.

“Peter! My god, I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you? You’ve gotten so tall, I can’t believe it, but lord you need to eat more - who’s been feeding you?” she gushed, holding her arms out wide. He grins in response.

“Hey Aunt Sarah! I’m doin’ great, thanks - May says hi, by the way.”

“Oh lovely - I’ll have to go up at some point, it’s been far too long.” She turns to Steve and takes him in, smile twisting into a sympathetic tight-lipped look at the sight of him.

“Come on, let’s get you home, alright?” Steve nods and, after hugging both Peter and Bucky and whispering a “Thank you” into their ears, walks off with her, arm around her waist.

Peter looks at Bucky carefully. “Race you back?” he asks, referring to Tony’s place, and Bucky nods with a huge grin.

“Hell yeah.”

[artsoccupychi]

Poop, Porn, and Vaping: Awkward Conversations You Must Have With Your Teens

This is an excerpt from an interview I did with holistic pediatrician Elisa Song, MD, for the Toxic Home Transformation Summit that you can check out here!

In this segment of the interview, Dr. Song and I talk about the unique challenges that children and teens face, in an age where vaping, addictions, pornography, and digestive issues have become common.

Elisa: Our bodies are supposed to be able to get rid of all the different stressors and inflammatory stressors that we receive, but we’re not living in caves anymore. In this modern world, we’re exposed to so much more [toxins and stress]. If we can minimize our kids’ exposure and optimize their elimination routes [bowels], we have the best chance to keep them healthy.

Robyn: How do we keep those communication channels open with children, especially as they get older? It turns out teenagers don’t want to talk to their mom about pooping. What can we do?

Elisa: I start the conversation really young. I talk to parents about their kids’ poop and the importance of what it looks like and how often they’re going.

Then, starting at two or three, I’m asking the kids what their poop looks like and they’re giggling. I ask every single kid about their poop because that tells me so much about their health.

I explain it to them as garbage their bodies are trying to throw out. What would happen if you never took out the garbage? Eventually it would start to rot and get stinky.

With my kids, we talk about poop and I ask them to tell me what their poop looks like. They know that healthy normal poop should be really soft like a brown banana in little soft clumps. It shouldn’t be little rock pebbles. It shouldn’t just fall apart and float in the toilet.

We talk about what it should look like, and we got this app called Poop Tracker. You take a picture of your poop before you wipe, and you can rate it along the Bristol stool chart, which is a pictorial chart of what your poop should look like.

We also track how often they’re pooping, how long it takes to come out, and if they had to strain and push really hard or it came out quickly. That’s poop.

Robyn: That’s fantastic. When I talk to my kids, I look them in the eye and talk as casually as I’m talking to you, using anatomically correct terms.

It’s really important when the child is very young to talk about elimination and poop. The only reason we get all giggly and weird about it is that we’ve created all this shame around it, but that doesn’t have to exist.

Elisa: That’s right.

Robyn: There are many other cultures around the world who openly talk about poop, and it’s not embarrassing or gross or uncomfortable socially.

Elisa: That’s right. You’ve talked about having frank, honest conversations on many “taboo” topics with your kids.

Robyn: Yes. I posted on my personal Facebook page about how I talked to my son over and over again about porn. I refer to the research that shows that shaming our kids about porn or trying to scare them with religious tactics actually drives the behavior underground. It does not control or decrease the behavior.

I try to talk to my kids five times about something that matters. So, I talked to my son repeatedly and told him a lot of people who watch porn get addicted to it.

That’s nobody’s plan when they start looking at porn, but if you get addicted, it’s entirely possible that you will need higher and higher levels of dopamine as you get more exposure to it.

You can actually get a diagnosable sexual dysfunction where you have the inability to get it up, keep it up, or finish, called Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, or PIED.

I tell him, men who have high porn exposure sometimes can’t get it up, keep it up, or finish. Then I offer to explain to him what that means, but he never ever, ever wants me to explain what “get it up, keep it up, or finish” means.

Elisa: That is a huge issue for our teenagers now. Porn is being targeted towards teenagers, and it’s so important for parents to understand that teenagers are watching porn.

Kids are getting these messages that porn is healthy sex, that sex should be painful, or that there should be some domination involved. When boys and girls are asked about this, they  say that they don’t want to have that kind of sex, but they think that the opposite sex actually wants it because that’s what they’re seeing.

We have to have these conversations without no shame or embarrassment. We also need to be talking about juuling and vaping.

Robyn: Tell us what juuling is.

Elisa: Juuling is a little vaping device that looks like a USB flash drive and comes in pretty colors and enticing flavors like tropical mango and refreshing mint. Kids literally lean into their backpacks to take hits on these juul devices.

It’s smokeless, and it doesn’t smell. Parents and kids think it’s not addictive, but there are studies now showing that among kids, vaping leads to smoking.¹

Robyn: It’s nicotine. The kids are basically smoking cigarettes out of their backpacks.

Elisa: That’s right.

Robyn: How are they buying it?

Elisa: I heard about this from the kids I work with in my office. So I looked it up and went online to see if I could buy it. No proof of age was required.

They’ve changed that now. There’s been a lot more outcry and more parents became aware of the subtle insidious marketing targeted toward teenagers. When you go to the website, there are age restrictions there, but you still can buy it.

Robyn: That’s good for parents to know.

Dr. Elisa Song is a holistic pediatrician in Belmont, CA, and can be found at Whole Family Wellness. She runs the Thriving Child Summit and teaches thousands of parents and children how to regain their health when facing autism, ADD, anxiety, chemical sensitivities, food allergies, and more at HealthyKidsHappyKids.com.

  — Robyn Openshaw, MSW, is a single mom of four salad-eating, adulting kids. She has a FREE video masterclass you can sign up for here, to learn how she got herself, and her kids, off the Standard American Diet, to lose 70 pounds and ditch 21 diagnosed diseases.

  Resources

1. National Academy of Science, Engineering, Medicine. Press Release: “New Report One of the Most Comprehensive Studies on Health Effects of E-Cigarettes; Finds That Using E-Cigarettes May Lead Youth to Start Smoking, Adults to Stop Smoking” Jan 23,2018. http://www8.nationalacademies.org/onpinews/newsitem.aspx?RecordID=24952

  Disclosure: This post may contain Affiliate links that help support the GSG mission without costing you extra. I recommend only companies and products that I use myself.

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