#and she dumped me over text saying she actually liked someone else the whole time she was dating me

[fruityedge15]

I didn't even just dodge a bullet with my ex gf, I dodged an entire firing squad

Cause wtf 😍

Making boards on your PUBLIC pinterest account about your irl crushes at your school, with their full first names as the title of the board is actually fucking insane

I dodged multiple bullets when she dumped me like holy

And that isn't even the worst of it

[chairteeth]

Nemu's life as a wheelchair user and how terrible f4 is at portraying it (or, well, Not portraying it)

Buckle up I have a list of PointsTM. I will be going into Japan's history with disability as well as what life is like on a wheelchair.

First though, because I want this to have the intended effect, I recommend going over Nemu's swimsuit costume story again. It is Very Relevant. I recommend you enjoy the fluff of it too, before I dump the depressing thing about it on you. Though I will say I really REALLY appreciate how far Touka always goes to make Nemu feel comfortable and supported and listened to and cared for in every situation and- is shot.

So, apparently this room has a big mirror, and Nemu gets uncharacteristically giddy and we get this scene that Will hurt you. She even says that she finds this just as important as the liberation plan.

They had ALL OF THE SETUP, ALL OF IT. And now I would like to also share a recent analysis of Nemu's wheelchair that I dragged some wheelchair users to do, then I'll start thrashing and yelling about the significance of such a change. For reference we mainly have the sprite right:

I'm going to provide the relevant texts directly for you:

no theres like zero leg support beyond the foot plate and even the way the foot plate is designed implies that she has pretty good motor control over her legs

ya no calf pads or anyting smh

and whats with the armrests those dont look v comfy??

i doubt she needs much body support beyond the walking there's proper cushioning elsewhere, though

I can't see a headrest either, and the backrest is not very high, so I'm pretty sure she just can't walk and everything else is largely fine

Me:

it's a separate continuity, but in the anime Nemu can stand. We don't see her walking but we see her standing a few times, and some of them are at points where she has to have walked at least a little bit, so I definitely think it's not "100% can't walk" but rather something more complex. Even before she was a magical girl we saw her standing in the hospital, though you could argue that was before whatever anime illness she has got worse

huh. that sounds like chronically ill person energy conservation to me at least in the anime. me and (name omitted) do that, were usually on our wheelchairs because a walk to the grocery store may be too much and we might keel over from the pain or exhaustion. what about the game?

Me:

I don't think she can walk at all in the game? The times she's not in her wheelchair, someone is carrying her, iirc. I told you that the cause of it was her shaving away her life force repeatedly, and I've explained the other symptoms, but truth be told, we don't see those other symptoms again post Arc 1 (which I think is just because she's under less stress and not constantly shaving away the aforementioned life force), and we were sadly robbed of any kind of "discovery" scene where we get her actual reaction and yk, her assessing the permanent damage done to her body?

Me:

I told you guys how soul gems work as essentially the girl's soul puppetting her body, right? My personal theory is that she did so much damage to herself that it significantly weakened part of the soul gem-body connection. I thought it may have been severed, but if that were the case, I'm pretty sure her legs would just rot off, since magical girl bodies rot when separated from their soul gems for too long iirc, plus she can feel temperature on them so

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE THING

Me:

I'M SORRY IT'S AN OBSCURE ASSUMPTION BASED ON A QUOTE OR TWO ABOUT A FUCKING KOTATSU, THEY NEVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS OF THE LEG THING, I WAS TRYING TO STICK AS CLOSE TO THE TEXT AS POSSIBLE

Me:

she's also never complained about pain from her legs, she's lamented the whole being unable to walk once or twice ("this body of mine can't help in any significant way") but never said a word about pain or other complications. Granted, she's also a people pleaser who would rather put on a stoic face than mildly inconvenience literally anyone

yea then it might just be she cant do the walking motions reliably. didnt you say she has an overprotective gf? The gf may have argued for the wheelchair thing to be on the safe side

mmmmmmmmmm ye sounds about right

They also talked a bit about control pads and wheels but this was the summary one of them gave me:

So in short, Nahi: mobility and feeling all good, but no walkies or will fall on face and fracture skull

That's the analysis and conclusion of that part, which will help discuss the next one. Now, first of all... I have complained MANY TIMES about our lack of any scene where this permanent damage is revealed to the characters. They skipped over that. Which I thought, oh, okay, maybe we'll get it in a costume story for the wheelchair sprite. We did not get that! And that's important. Because see, Nemu I think might be able to hide her initial raw reaction depending on who was in the room with her. If she was alone or (preferably and probably likeliest) with Touka, she might not hide it, but it has to have sunk in that she would be dead to her family again. And for a character who so desperately wanted to fit in with her family, go camping with them, and presumably do all the outdoorsy and sporty stuff with them, YEAH, A SCENE LIKE THAT WOULD BE NEEDED, especially because Nemu has the tendency to both self-flagellate excessively (Touka also does this) and to hide all of her feelings and suppress them as hard as humanly possible.

With that out of the way, I am going to go on my certified rant about living in a wheelchair. Let's start at the general inaccessibility of Japan. Nemu's wheelchair isn't exactly... compact or foldable from what I can tell so that doesn't help her in the least. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things to consider:

- Less maneuverability or no access at all in some places, such as hotel rooms, restaurants, and stores

- Way longer wait times for nearly everything

- The temples are shitty to access because 90% of them have The Stairs, and the parks surrounding them have gravel grounds that make it almost impossible to run a wheelchair through (or at least, it's really hard. Think of when Sakurako had to carry Nemu on the beach, sand/sand-like ground and wheelchairs most often do not mesh, especially electric ones)

- The general congestion of large cities is not good but at least Japanese people tend to be nice and polite about it and try not to bother/touch wheelchair users, however this is unavoidable and oh boy haha rush hour

- In the end a wheelchair user in Japan is pretty limited in what they can do if not accompanied, which absolutely sucks

Streets are often narrow too so gestures at list. Plenty of buildings, especially old ones, are never really upgraded/don't have ramps or accessible elevators either, and I have literally seen a Japanese building that needed you to climb seven steps to get into the elevator?? Okay, alright, I will try not to bitch too hard. If using Yokohama as a base, the thing with large cities is that actually, the subway and train networks are generally good for wheelchair users (though they have to take extra steps and a trip that would take an able-bodied person one hour may take the wheelchair user double that amount of time, plus the station staff will choose your train for you). Everything else however, not so nice, and again The Stairs.

Now I go on the funny historical tangent! Around the 1960s in Japan, there was an increase in disabled children being separated from their families and placed in residential institutions, many of which were converted from the ones built for disabled veterans after WW2. At the age of 18, many of these children were then transferred to adult facilities where they would remain until death. As you may be able to imagine, these institutions were not great! Cue many many MANY human rights violations, including child residents being used as guinea pigs for their doctors in surgical procedures and disgusting amounts of incidents of sexual abuse towards female residents. The traditional Japanese notion that disabled people should be hidden by their families like a shameful secret was veeeeery prevalent! That is why these places even existed. Those beliefs are, Still ShiftingTM so to speak but it is much better now because hey at least they finally have an anti-discrimination law. By "finally" I mean that ten years ago they did not have one. You see, the literal basic anti-discrimination act for people with disabilities in Japan only came into effect in 2016 (for the reference of the Americans who may not know and for an easy example, in the US, the same thing happened in 1990, which is still recent-ish but not, "less than ten years ago" recent). That's only eight years ago. So let's not even talk about how VERY highly Not Possible a fully wheelchair-adapted/comfortable home would be in Japan. It ain't great chief, basic programs are still being implemented, and I highly doubt people are very widely educated on the matter unless it affects them personally. I think that is most of the funny historical tangent, so... time for me to talk about adapting to life on a wheelchair.

Let's start with showering and bath/general bathroom difficulties. First of all, it's MUCH likelier for a person in Nemu's position to slip and hurt themselves in the shower/bath, not even likely to be able to stop their own fall because Legs No Worky, secondly washing up unassisted when you're in a wheelchair both takes longer and is difficult/inconvenient, particularly if you don't have a specific chair or other thing to help you in the tub/shower (I am unsure if her family would be agreeable to this or if she'd even ask). For Nemu's benefit we are going to go with my interpretation that magical girls do not have periods, because otherwise oh dear god well that's way worse! But yes there's that whole complication and see, if you live with your family you have people you can ask for help. However we are talking about Nemu, and Nemu would rather starve under a bridge than ask for help (in 99% of cases). We have a section for internal effects of leg loss don't you worry but like, girl already felt like a burden before, imagine how she feels now when she actually does have to depend on others occasionally. Showering/bathing must be an absolute nightmare every single day for the poor girl. You don't realize how much you rely on walking and having usable legs inside the house until you lose that ability.

This leads me into another very funny thing: reach. Imagine having short person struggles. Okay, now imagine your height is cut in half and you have to be sitting down for everything. Who wants to bet you are now unable to reach A LOT of the things at home? Bathroom setups vary so that one you can circumvent, however! Consider the following: Nemu displays an enjoyment of cooking. Have you ever tried to sit down in front of most kitchen counters? They are pretty high up from that position. Which is fine when you're maybe just resting on the chair but can stand up/take steps around, but when you can't... well. Cooking just got a whole lot more inconvenient and complicated! Nemu seems to keep doing it, so I imagine she's figured out the kitchen table hack (kitchen tables are often lower than the counters and therefore often used to do the prep work instead of the counter because it's more comfortable). This still does not account for the stove but we haven't heard of Arc 2 Nemu cooking solo, only either with her mom or Sakurako, so I assume Nemu's family has the decency not to send her to make dinner like they do in Arc 1.

On the topic of short reach, have you ever realized how inconvenient doorknobs can be if you're sitting down? And doors in general when it's not so easy to move, really. This is more the case for those with less grip strength or less mobility than Nemu, but doorknobs are still generally placed high enough to be inconvenient, doors depending on how they open can be annoying (though sliding doors I've heard are better, so long as they're not too heavy), and let's not even talk about the heavy-ish doors that you have to push against. Because while that might be easy outside of a wheelchair... not so much on a wheelchair. The inconvenience of doors and doorknobs aside though, and back to public transport for a second, you cannot be spontaneous. According to a couple of Japanese wheelchair users I gnawed at for the purpose of research, you need to warn literally everyone at least 30 minutes in advance if you want to be able to board a train. If something comes up or is urgent, I assure you, you won't be able to hop on whatever train or taxi you want.

For Nemu in particular taxis may not be possible, but f4 ignores this really hard (like most things that have to do with Nemu's disability, given that it is acknowledged as a thing that exists LIKE TWICE after the initial timeskip scene at the end of Arc 1, mainly in Christmas string where she laments not being able to help with physical labor in any significant way due to "This Body Of Mine" [she's very dramatic about it but also this is an important hint to how she actually feels now that she's experienced at the very least months of living like this and now that she's alone with Touka instead of self-flagellating in public]). In Mokyu's MGS, I remember that moment when Touka calls for a taxi very much On The Spot and they both get on to follow Mokyu, seemingly very fast, and I was just like "????". I'm not really sure that's... a thing they can do that easily, f4...

But anyway, how about another item? Let's talk clothing. This is also not something able-bodied people usually consider or think about, but clothing generally was not designed for sitting. It will likely never fit right for wheelchair users, and many pieces of clothing may not even be comfortable, not to mention they may not be able to wear a lot of things (such as long/drapey fabrics that could interfere with movement, whether of the wheels, the control pad, or their bodies), and depending on how much mobility they have, changing itself can be another nightmare to do unassisted, or at least, it takes longer and takes more effort (we will get back to the "effort" part soon). This depends, sure, but it's often worse for kids and teenagers because they're still growing. It's okay though, I'm sure Touka would be really offended about this and would just take Nemu to get clothing custom made. What a good partner. The clothing issue is often overlooked, but Very Much A Thing. Some pants are not comfy to sit in for long periods of time, or maybe they fit well when you're standing but not when you're sitting... imagine only ever sitting.

I think I've made my point with the clothing aspect so let's move on to ANOTHER THING! Yes, I have more. Some things like transferring may be more inconvenient in Japan than they would be in the West. Transferring, in case you're not aware, is what a wheelchair user moving themselves from their wheelchair to another place to sit (such as a dining table chair, if they want, or a sofa), or back to the wheelchair, is called. It may be more inconvenient in Japan because well, The Floor. Transferring largely relies on upper body strength in most cases, and see, you can park a wheelchair next to a sofa or other chair and move yourself there reeelatively easily, but the floor may be a bit harder due to the difference in elevation from surface to surface. Once again, it depends on the specifics of the wheelchair user in question, overall. I've heard a couple of people say that the floor is Very Bad to transfer to and from, but one of them has mobility issues in the upper body and the other has arm weakness (he can only get back up because he's able to push a little bit with his legs).

For Nemu there's also the possible school complications, but I have not looked much into how accessible Japanese schools are for students on wheelchairs, though I do want to call a bit of attention to how we've seen Touka at school in Arc 2 but never Nemu, and I feel like that might be one of the reasons. Studying from home I suppose could be an option, though it would be iffy to me because of the whole part about being stuck inside and hidden away.

Before I move on to other things, let me. Talk about this other thing. That is specifically heartbreaking for Nemu. That being physical intimacy (we're talking hugs and the like, people, don't get ahead of yourselves). Quick quiz question for you to think about before I answer it, have you ever thought of how to comfortably hug a wheelchair user?

Normally, when put on the spot, the typical able-bodied person who has never thought about it says that well, you can just bend over to hug them! And while that kind of works, that is not exactly a "full hug" and also requires more effort and more Going Out Of Your Way on the able-bodied person's part than a hug to an able-bodied person that you can just easily walk up to and hug without any adjustment, which makes it less likely that the wheelchair user will get casual affection through that. A common one is the hug from the back, which works just like you'd do it for any sitting person, however the hug from the back is not exactly common and depends on how close the two people are. And then there's the other main way to do it, if it doesn't hurt for the wheelchair user. Which is the lap hug. Able-bodied person sits on the wheelchair user's lap and that is how the hug happens. Most wheelchairs should be able to bear the weight, since you have to account for things like carrying groceries or Other Stuff already, so the capacity to bear weight is built-in (some wheelchairs can carry up to 700lbs/317kg). However you will notice that a lap hug is a significant leap in intimacy that not that many people might be comfortable with, particularly in a less touchy culture like Japan. Personally I think Touka is princess enough, has enough of an ego, and enough of a bond/trust with Nemu that she'd have no qualms sitting on her lap, but Yeah. Holding hands is another one that may take a while to adjust to, since it's basically a MASSIVE height difference that you can't bridge, and also walking-walking vs walking-rolling (or whichever verb you prefer for wheelchair users) areeee different let's just say and speed adjustment can also be a bitch

What I'm saying is if poor Nemu was already affection deprived before, It Got Worse. I will touch on this more when I talk about the social consequences losing her legs must've had. To sum this all up so far, it's an entire reevaluation of the world you live in. Things that were once convenient are now inconvenient, or at best, don't help you anymore. People are often stumped as to what to say to you or what to do or how to act around you, especially if you bring up any and all struggles that have to do with the wheelchair thing. It's not Nemu's case but if she had a friend group, that would also mean possible distancing from them due to being unable to do as many activities with them or go to the same places as before. The world is built for the able-bodied, and the effort it takes to just navigate life in a wheelchair can be extremely draining. And SPEAKING OF EFFORT, it is time for the spoon theory! Those of you already familiar with it may skip this part, as I'm simply going to copy and paste from the original creator of the spoon theory, but for anyone who has never heard of the spoon theory, please, do read this part. It may help you understand something extremely important for the daily lives of so many people, and it may even give some of you who the spoon theory does apply to a new tool to use. This is the spoon theory:

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become.

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

And that folks is the spoon theory. The spoon theory of course applies to wheelchair users. In Nemu's case it's more of a magical affliction and doesn't seem to affect her beyond the part about not being able to walk, however, as we've covered, that part is significant. It takes a mental, physical, and emotional toll. Then, other than this whole thing, there's issues with agency and independence. Yk, being able to live unassisted. I think Nemu could mostly handle it because I mean it's all she's ever done (insert parentification issues and her basically having raised herself, etc etc). Now here is a fun topic. How about social consequences? They are in fact significant as well! We just don't see it as much because Nemu's social life generally starts and ends at Touka, who is arguably the best-equipped person for this. You can bet Touka pulled three all-nighters to do research on this the moment she realized Nemu was not going to recover or at least not in the near future, and we already know she's extremely attentive from what we saw in Arc 1, so. Literally the best possible person for Nemu to hang out with, who will also never try to encroach on her decision-making or her boundaries, never try to take freedom or agency away from her, etc. Unfortunately there are more people around Nemu who may not handle it as gracefully (or well. Whatever Touka is doing. Her stunted social skills are actually a good thing when it comes to this).

Let's go from worst to better: Nemu's family. They are literally not mentioned again after Arc 1's final battle, ever. Not even when Chapter 8 happens. Not at all, zero mentions, at least none as far as I know. Which is concerning. Nemu still speaks fondly of them in Arc 2, from the Christmas quotes, but I mean. Desperate for love. Desperately learning her family's favorite foods and colors, fretting over what gift to get her brother. Which is just extra sad knowing that she's probably dead to them (again). I don't think it's a stretch to say that Nemu's family would have ZERO CLUE how to handle the entire topic. Common reactions are either avoidance/pretending it's not there, or severe awkwardness and hesitation that there is no way the wheelchair user won't notice. Particularly if they're a very perceptive person who pays close attention to the people around them (Nemu). I think Nemu's family might be the avoidance type, since they're allergic to making any effort to get to know her or yk treat her as their daughter instead of, parentifying her to hell and back at best. But let's take another couple of examples: Iroha and Ui.

I think those two might be the awkwardness type. Which is, "I have never encountered this problem and I'm not sure how to go about it but I don't want to hurt or offend this person" and normally leads to general insecurity/anxiety about mentioning specific things around the wheelchair user, or inviting them to things, or assigning tasks to them because the person fears they might hurt themselves/be unable to do what you asked, feel worse, etc. It can manifest in many ways and is normally born out of politeness or genuine personal concern for the other, but alas wheelchair users are not (all) blind, so they do very much notice. On their side it's also awkward and hurtful, in most cases. It's bad too when they get condescended or infantilized or as I mentioned before people take their agency away. It's that thing where you assume the wheelchair user needs help for (insert task) and that you're just being nice by lending them a hand but hey, hey. Maybe ask instead of assuming and moving to do a thing for them that you don't know with 100% is something they need help with. Maybe they don't actually need your help (cough savior/hero complex) and I assure you they appreciate being able to do whatever they can by themselves. Yes, it's well-meaning, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt the wheelchair user or make them feel bad/worse about themselves. The infantilization thing is often related to this too.

Next and last, the inner consequences of a significant loss such as this one. This part is about self-perception, perception in regards to the world and to others, and obviously it ties into Nemu's previously established concerns, fears, and general IssuesTM. This is another "sigh where to begin!" moment for me, because as I have established before, Nemu has major issues. Take literally every issue Nemu has ever had and them pump them full of steroids, then assume that bits of those issues drop off the bigger issue blob and grow into new connected issues. That is what this caused. There is of course a fun set of new issues that relate to the old ones but aren't fully connected as well. That being the feeling of being broken, incomplete, defective. For a person like Nemu whose worth is in considerable part determined by how useful she can be to others, that's not good. She's very much the type to keep things in rather than express them, except the precious scarce few times when we see her alone with Touka (you'll notice that usually we don't get scenes of them alone together save for Christmas String where there was A Pressing Issue to solve, normally it's the rest of the cast going to them for something so it's not exactly the correct atmosphere or moment for a vulnerability moment, Nemu has them, we see some, but they are Very Few).

The one comment from when she and Touka were moving their books out of Touka's private room in the hospital (still real gay of Touka to casually of her own will give Nemu a permanent space in her private room just so she could store her books), the one where she gets all droopy about being unable to help with the whole book moving process? Yeah that's your confirmation that as suspected, yes, she was lying when she said "this is fine" at the end of Arc 1. This is not by any means fine. Sure she has accepted it and thinks she deserves it but this is Nemu "I am to blame for damaging the economy of Japan" Hiiragi (I have a screenshot of when she said this) so like gestures vaguely. By that point in Christmas String, as I said before, she's probably been on a wheelchair for months at the very least, so she's had a chance to experience what that's like, among other things. I can't imagine she feels great about it. While simultaneously thinking her intestines should be bundled up with a pitchfork every day at noon for her sins, of course (insert aforementioned self-flagellation issues). Because she blames herself for literally everything and likely also blames herself every single time her inability to walk leaves her unable to do something she could've done before, and may even push herself beyond what's safe and healthy for her at times. Therefore, internally, yeah, Nemu is way worse than before. FORTUNATELY the stress of the Magius and the physical strain from making uwasa are no longer a thing and she has a safe place to be in every day with her partner who understands and loves her and doesn't even think of any adjustments as "effort" (of course this is nothing for Touka, she's a genius, I can hear the Toukitty saying with her nose up in the air like that). So that is, one good thing. And she can likely read more easily.

Unfortunately, Arc 2 also brings stress and more guilt due to the factions. There's the NM guilt and the PB guilt mainly, but also the stress of the few people they care about besides each other (such as Ui and Iroha) being in mortal danger. And what bothers me is, the way this entire thing affects and stimulates Nemu's concerns and fears from before is so criminally overlooked and outright ignored? We saw from her quotes and personal memo that she desperately wants to be loved, desperately wants to not be forgotten, and to leave behind a legacy (this is about the being forgotten part too). A common issue for wheelchair users is, in fact, that they are neglected and forgotten about, often only an afterthought, particularly for the administration. And so it annoys me endlessly that f4 are allergic to handling their disabled main cast member whatsoever and neglect her in much the same way her family does.

Anyway, this isn't exhaustive, there's definitely more to unpack, but it's already very long and I thank everyone who has read this far for your time. I hope it helped you guys understand at least a little bit better.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas! I kinda needed a bit of advice so this is going to be a long rant

So last year there was a new girl at our school. I had just gotten over a crush, someone who I knew wouldn't like me back so I was pretty bored because what else can a queer teen girl do instead of fantasising about other girls. So when I saw her for the first time, she was reading a book. I thought she was new but I wasnt sure so I had to reconfirm. The next period turns out, she ended up in one of my language classes where she had to introduce herself.

Well, long story short (idk if ill survive) my best friend managed to make us sit together in another common class and that was the start of our friendship (i pined after her the WHOLE summer break because i was too shy to talk to her despite being an extrovert). We started texting and stuff So I established that i liked her and told her um one day before my besties birthday (pretty soon im excited) andddddddd guess whatttttttttttt. she rejected me. WEEEE

but one day in September i went to her art exhibition with my mom and our moms got to talking and i was still mad in love despite being rejected but anyway a day after that in school we had a small assembly about the lgbtqia+ community and how its okay to like girls, being in an all girls school so after that she texted me saying that she liked me and i FREAKED because i was so EXCITED welp. um. even tho she liked meeeeeeee we ended up in a situationship because she didnt wanna date and i was confused but didnt wanna force her

now my bestie has a theory which I directly quoted:

I think as a new girl, she wanted to make friends. And her best friend's nice, fine, whatever, but have you noticed that she rarely talks to your girlfriend once she's with her friends? Even your girlfriend must have. The point is, you were nice, kind, friendly. You wanted to be "friends" or so she first thought. It was a good friendship, and then you confessed. Our theory was that she didn't say that she liked you back then was because she didn't. Then you might've accidentally gone and done the thing where you avoid people, especially because you felt that you had ruined everything. So she confessed to not lose you. And then you ended up dating after whyever she didn't want to date was sorted out. She knew that you'd always treat her right and then she tried so it would be like a relationship. Then once you said you loved her, romantically, she knew you were going to be around. And then she eventually stopped trying. I think that she got attached to you at some point in time, and that's when the whole thing with the constant "I miss you"s started. The original basis of the theory was something we had discussed before, not you and me, but yeah, and I just elaborated with whatever information I've learnt today.

anyway most of my close friends disapproved of the relationship because she never reciprocated their efforts to get to know each other because both parties were going to be major parts of my life and never seemed to speak to me when they were around but i was blind and stupid and didnt listen to them and actually ended up ditching people to hangout with wonderful gf who said ok to dating 2 days after my bday

anyway so recently i been feeling like i wanna break up with her? so obv first person i go to is my best friend bc she's is the platonic loml and then she helps and we forget about it. mind you we're mid exams rn and like a few days ago i have had the nagging feeling i wanna breakup with her. bestie. my best friend makes me list out reasons and gets trauma dumped on.

basically I feel like we never have real conversations or communicate properly and it's always just kind of baby talk? even when it's serious, so like. yeah and then sometimes when i'm talking about my interests, she just goes "ew" and doesn't listen? and I help her when she fights with her best friend, but when I fight with mine she just replies "oh" and nothing else.

and the thing is we have very different schedules, but she always expects me to compromise on mine for hers like she stays up and I wake up early but she calls me late at night when i'm sleeping because "she missed me"??? she did this once on the day before a test and she knew that I wanted to get up early to revise. not to mention, she once also called my mom a psycho. yeah, so all of that and the fact that she never gave me gifts for our six month anniversary while I made her several boquets of paper flowers and shit I thought that maybe she didn't think we were doing that but I didn't get anything afterwards either. it's the same with gifts in general. and she doesn't really match my wild side or wants to do cliche coupley things that I want to do and I don't want to force her but I also really want to do them?

anyway i kinda got some shit going on in my life? and i kinda told gf that i may be emotionally unavailable but we'll talk about this after midterms. thing is. i may have told gf i wanna be friends but i dont actually now idk how to do damage control? But in my best friend's opinion it will just make shit more complicated and hurt both our feelings

idk what to do. everyone around me has biased opinions, so, yeah

Hi! <3

Okay, here's the thing. You're listening to everyone's opinion right now but your own. What do YOU want? Whatever you want, like really want, you need to decide that. And then you need to nicely tell your (ex)gf that. Because forcing your feelings for other peoples' benefit will only result in other people being hurt.

If you want to be with this girl, you need to communicate your feelings about her not being available enough. if you want space, you need to tell her that, too.

Either way, decide what YOU want, you know? Stop listening to others <3

naming you paper flower anon

[maddies-writings]

Goro x V Headcanons

This is my corpo V, Vanessa. Just get ready for all the random headcanons and ideas I have for these two and my V as well. I have A LOT MORE but I don't have that kind of time as of this moment. Someone give me prompts for these two to write about.

V embraces her Corpo background, honestly. Even with everything that happened with Jackie and the Relic, she went to meet Goro in that Diner wearing office slacks and heels. Even so, the cut on her forehead from Johnny slamming her face into the window and clear eye bags made it obvious she was going through a lot.

My V is a tanned, blue-eyed, busty bottle blonde. She honestly looks like the secretary your Corpo husband is cheating on you with. She knows this and leans into the stereotype on occasion. She loves it when her opponents underestimate her.

Goro definitely held some unconscious bias towards her because of her looks. You don't expect a woman who looks like a Barbie doll to be able to haul a man twice her size over her shoulder and then dump him in a fridge. The bias did not stand for long.

While at Arasaka, employees from Japan would speak in Japanese in front of her. Though she doesn't look it she is actually fairly fluent. People say and admit to a lot of shit when they think you can't understand them. True, translation software is a thing but post Devil's ending it is extremely convenient to know the language of the country you are in.

Goro and V definitely had some mutual pining going on while in Night City. While Goro canonically explained that he has "duties in Japan" V could tell that her interest was at least somewhat reciprocated. But with everything happening and her fast-approaching expiration date she didn't want to try anything (again) until she was cured.

After the awkward and mortifying meal with River's family, V ended up having a breakdown in the trailer once she was alone. Though she wasn't interested in River (he moved way too fast and she suspects he was more in love with what she did than anything else) she was hit with a sense of what she may never have, a family, husband, and kids. True she put her career first and is still very career-oriented but that was her choice. Now that the idea that those things are actually out of reach she mourns the possible loss of that.

Goro ended up calling her in the middle of her little breakdown and he was treated to the sight of her with red eyes and running eye makeup. Even though V tried to push it aside and focus on the mission Goro got her to talk about everything that happened and helped her get out of her spiraling thoughts. He even offered to pick her up which she said yes to. V left a note and a text for River but ended up in the passenger seat of Goro's car, listening to jazz and planning their next task.

V ended up storming Arasaka Tower with Goro. Her reasoning was that it was the option that put the least amount of people in danger. She wanted to help Goro but she also didn't want to drag the Aldecaldos into her problem and she didn't want to have Rogue possibly die storming Arasaka Tower AGAIN. In her mind, Johnny had dragged her into enough crap in the past.

In the end, when V signed the contract to be placed into Mikoshi she did ask Goro to promise that he'd be there when she woke up in her new body. She honestly doubted that Arasaka would go through with their end of the deal.

Post Devil Ending

When V woke up in her new body she was very discombobulated and confused. It was hard to believe she'd been placed into a whole new body. Even more surprising (to her at least) was that Goro kept his promise and was by her bedside when she awoke.

Since it was a new and fresh body a lot of V's muscle tone was gone. She was also paler and her hair was its natural brown. Though she looked healthier than Goro had ever seen her she didn't feel like herself.

Goro invited her to his home to recuperate, get used to her new body, and get back on her feet. He did not listen to any of V's protests.

One of the first things V did when she arrived at his apartment in Tokyo was take a shower. While her body had no doubt been cleaned while in Arasaka facilities she wanted to get the hospital smell off of her. Goro thought she looked like she belonged, sitting on his couch, hair in a towel and snuggling into a fluffy white robe.

Another thing she did was book a spa day once she was cleared. Tanning bed, hair treatment, hair dye, full body wax, manicure and pedicure. She always took very good care of herself in Night City. Admittedly she did start falling behind due to the whole relic thing and because of that Goro had never seen her fully primped and polished. He was just happy that she was happy.

[collectionoftulips]

My two cents on the season finale of The Way Home

Okay, so thoughts on the finale of season two…

First and foremost, it probably has to have been one of the most rushed episodes I have ever seen. Rarely was there ever a point where a major plot point was allowed to breathe and it felt like they were trying to squeeze three episodes into one. This caused some issues. I’ve already made a post about how absolutely bananas Elliot’s behavior around the coins were, and I stand by that, especially as this show works overtime in wanting us to see Elliot as Kat’s soulmate and/or someone we want to see Kat with. I am personally not entirely convinced by a love interest that either doesn’t seem to catch or (more likely) chooses to ignore the emotional weight of something just because it indicates that the person they are interested in might also have feelings for someone else. Elliot might not have been told everything about Thomas, but he knows that Kat cares about him (enough to feel threatened by a man in the 1800s) and that she was given those coins as Thomas’ dying wish.

I’ve probably said more than I should about that particular plot point, but the way the episode bulldozed through that, for example, felt extraordinarily strange as a result of the just never-ending plot dumping and wrapping-uping that was happening. Most likely they were uncertain whether or not they were going to be renewed for season three, so they were trying to tie up as many loose ends as possible and hint enough about potential future directions (hence the new pond theory, finding out about Colton and Casey showing up out of nowhere), but if that was the case, they really ought to have changed the pacing of the season (in my opinion). The beginning part of the season was far too slow and if they had hastened some of the plot points. For example, Elliot’s relationship to his dad and the whole subplot about his wall could have been given less time and the show could have spent that time actually making the viewers connect to Jacob and not have his sudden 180 on returning to his own time happen off-screen in the most bizarre way possible.

The (maybe) last point I will say about Elliot is that it should NOT have taken him his own timetravelling experience to be able to apologize to Kat for being an absolute asshat about Colton. I’m tempted here to draw parallels to a certain man in the 1800s, but might make a separate text post laying out that particular argument, in case people want to read?

Continuing on the theme of characters treating Kat very badly and getting away with it: Del. The whole Victor-not-giving-the-letter thing was the cheapest possible device to get some sort of reconciliation between Del and Kat that they could have possibly done and I was so angry about it. Particularly because the show sort of half-acknowledges that DEL COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING EVEN IF SHE HADN’T GOT THE TICKET, but the show just go ’oh look over here!’ and chooses to not dwell on that fact in order to get that sense of closure in case the show wasn’t picked up for a third season. Both Del and Elliot are treating Kat badly by doing the smallest amount possible and it feels like the show is letting them get away with it. Particularly as the show really hasn’t shied away from complex and nuanced family dynamics, that particularly annoyed me. #Justice4Kat

Thomas not having a tombstone makes me feel very hopeful that he might maybe do some time traveling in the future (I am still not convinced by the ’you can only go back not forwards’ theory). Plus the flashback with Colton looks way older (in terms of dress and style) to make that theory make sense to me.

If for some reason, in the future, I cannot have Kat/Thomas, I would happily accept Susanna/Kat at this point.

On the topic of my new favorite ship (Thomas/Kat), I think it is highly relevant that (from what I can remember) we have only really ever gotten romantic hallucination conversations between Del and Colton (there are those that are now more recently with Elliot and his dad) and now we get them between Thomas and Kat. We also get flashbacks through Thomas and Kat’s relationship when Kat thinks that he has died (to the point she can’t even look at the Goodwins’ gun any more because it upsets her so much). The show very clearly, I think, wants to position Thomas as a very legitimate rival to Elliot’s affections.

For the record, I’m not one of these people who thinks ships should only be about those two and not allow space or feelings for others; I don’t see Kat loving Elliot as taking away something from Thomas/Kat. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I sort of feel like Kat (to some degree) feels like she ’should’ love Elliot - because he loves her so much and so clearly, and she loves him too, but there’s just something that isn’t working out between them. The feelings she has for Elliot are very complex and nuanced because they have known each other a really long time. Thomas, on the other hand, I think evokes this larger than life feeling in Kat. Their connection wasn’t something she was looking for, not anything that entirely makes sense, but it’s there. When she thinks he has died, there isn’t really a reason for her to go ’yeah no I would have run off with you’ or whatever it would be. It doesn’t invalidate or validate any one ship, I just think it wouldn’t really make sense given the context (and Kat’s disposition). Plus, when she finds out Thomas survived and she gets half a second to react (yes, I am bitter about this aspect of the episode still) she gets the face of someone who thought ’oh shit my life just got more complicated’.

I will never not be annoyed that Jacob’s choice to return was an off-screen decision. #Justice4Jacob

I might write a massive post laying out the case for my pro-Kat/Thomas stance later, even if people didn't ask for it 😂

[having-conniptions]

Love In The Air episode 5 live reaction under the cut (long post)

Awwww Payu is checking if Rain got sick OHMYGOD HOW MANY HICKEYS CAN A GUY- awwwwww little forehead kiss <3

And Payu with his hair down AAAAA

At least Rain is finally getting some sleep

"I was gonna flirt then dump him, but willingly became his instead" AYYYYYYYY

MOM ALERT

"I don't get why architecture students study so hard." Rain, under his breath: "Do something else hard, more like" BOYYY HAHAHAHA

And he's borrowing Payu's sweater 😭❤️

RAIN'S ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED FACE WHEN HE SEES PAYU WORKING OUT TOPLESS AND SWEATY

Ohhh is Payu gonna be mad? Worried? Mad about being worried?

Meeting the mom so soon huh?

Yeah he's mad cause he's worried

And he's getting a little controlling idk what to think of this

"Are you ready to be punished?" You guys just made up so I'm gonna assume you mean in a sexy way

Was not expecting "fever reducer. Rectal suppository." HELP I'M DYING HAHAHA

Oh no Rain don't call for your mom what if she actually comes in huh

Annnnd there she is with snacks. Rain under the covers thinking "don't be suspicious, don't beeeee suspicious" while Payu plays it cool - I bet he already got Rain's pants off and that's why Rain is hiding like that lol

Payu is such a smooth talker

Yup, pants were off. This was not the scene I expected but it was the scene I needed lmao

Prapai!!!! He's sooooooooo

"I was gonna ask about the cutie's friend. But it's okay. I can wait for Payu. Cause if he's a devil, then I'm a beast." TELL ME NOW HAVE THEY BEEN HOOKING UP I REMEMBER PRAPAI BEING IN A GOOD MOOD RANDOMLY AND THEN DISAPPEARING FOR SEVERAL EPISODES AND SKY HAD THAT GIANT HICKEY ON HIS NECK I SAW THE CLUES THEY'VE BEEN HOOKING UP HAVEN'T THEY

PRAPAI I BARELY KNOW YOU BUT I LOVE YOU

Not Sky sneezing because someone is talking about him I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

"Should I address myself as 'Wife' instead?" RAIN STOPPP HAHAHA

"We're just junior and senior. Your time to win me over is up." PAYU DON'T MAKE HIM SUFFER LIKE THAT SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW

"From now on... I'll be the one to pursue you." OH the game is ON. THE GAME IS ON I SAY

Yeah hit him with that pillow knock him the fuck out Rain I support you

"You left scratch marks all over my back last night" WELL YOU LEFT HICKEYS ALL OVER HIS CHEST I THINK YOU GUYS ARE EVEN

Rain being a little tsundere but literally only lasting for two seconds is what I live for

"I want you to choose... between becoming my wife or having me as your husband" PAYU THAT'S LITERALLY NOT HOW IT WORKS also why are they getting engaged already is this the gay version of uhaul leabians??

PAYU BUSTING OUT A WHOLE ASS SPEECH WHY RAIN SHOULD AGREE TO BE HIS BOYFRIEND (WIFE?)

WHAT DID HE WHISPER IN RAIN'S EAR I NEED TO KNOW

That's a lot of tongue ayyyyyy

Payu is so happy and in love aaaaaa why is this episode called calm before the storm I'm scared

Rain is so shy and giggly while texting Payu aaaa I love them

OH so that's what Payu whispered awwwww <3

Sky is 100% done again lmao

Oh Ple...

"I would have been happier if I hadn't just gotten a husband" for the 100th time babe you did not get married

SHE REALLY ASKED RAIN FOR PAYU'S NUMBER I AM CACKLING GIRL YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU JUST STEPPED INTO

Not Rain almost publicly calling Payu his boyfriend aaaa

"I think... my brother likes P'Payu too." IS THIS GONNA BE A RAIN JEALOUSY ARC???

Rain still has tea on his nose lmao

"Damn these fruity siblings" NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I AM WHEEZING

Whoever wrote these subtitles deserves a raise

Good to know everyone looks a little dumb with a helmet like that, even Rain

Motorcycle ride giving me kpts flashbacks

My pet peeve is that we can always hear the fabric of their clothes etc moving/rustling because they were probably wearing mics while filming, it makes me feel like I'm hiding in Payu's shirt lmao

Oh hi Sky! Rain don't be shy he knows anyway - not just because you talked about it but also because I still suspect he's already hooking up with Payu's best friend (who obviously also knows about everything that's going on in Payu's love life)

AWWWW SKYYYYY aaaaa I love himmmmmmm

Lmao Payu asking about Ple

Not Payu calling Rain's mom asking for permission for Rain to stay over 👀👀👀 boy has plans I suppose

Which is exactly why we have a timeskip to the next morning lmao

Payu is humming while making coffee and I am once again reminded of the fact that this episode is called calm before the storm WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN

PAYU I'M ALL FOR YOU LIFTING RAIN UP ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER BUT COULD YOU PLEASE PUT THE KNIFE DOWN FIRST

Oh my gaaaaahddddd the singing scene

"If anyone asks, just say that you're P'Payu's wife" xD

Bonus scene: wait that was before Rain even started studying there and Payu wrote him a good luck note IT IS FATE AAAA

[icelogged]

accidentally unfollowed while sending this ask lol anyways

https://www.autostraddle.com/75-ken-dolls-ranked-by-lesbianism-383518/

that's the one i posted (not a huge fan of the mermaid ken text idk what they wanted to say) but :)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

thanks for sharing!!! i decided to react to every single one as well! and had so much fun doing it— did some extra research ;3cc 🔬 ;3c too ;3

i actually read an article like this before, it was only regarding the reboot kens and they referred to them as male exes or men you see on dating apps i think? anyways this article is better imo

so all of them could be my ex gf because i’m horrible and greedy and think everyone in the whole wide world is gorgeous no take backs

꒰აꨄ︎໒�� = the ones i could hypothetically crush, date, etc rn

long post as there are 75 kendalls :3

75. i love her!!!! i’d love to see a same sex pair skating competition!! yuri on ice ;3 *bad joke booing*

74. my funky 90s gyal pal. there is an actual lesbian out there who wore this in the 90s. she is now someone’s cool lesbian aunt.

73. depop legend who could collab with the sims 4 type of girl. i can see us being friends :3

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 72. oh no, i can see now.. probably would have a meet cute moment in the library 💔 i would have such a bad crush on this kendall. i feel like there could be shared attraction but she’d end up not liking my personality :(

71. erm rude! i’d give her a chance, fusion music can be cool. hope she’s into sharing sweaters with friends and lovers because that looks comfy. and her band / group looks so fun!! loving the hair on the dolls of colour!!!

70. i know her and her wife! they have that really cool couple swag! anyways i babysit their kids

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 69. 2000s tomboy…💍…

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 68. we met a free optional donation ticket community centre event for showcasing people who customize their clothing or make their own stuff from scratch. she’s going to a, in her words “crappy art school” but at least she has access to a studio. that’s where she made her sweater ? bomber jacket ? they sell pretty well on instagram

67. “Cameron: She’d def welcome you to the neighborhood with a jell-o creation. maybe a casserole”. literally

66. 2000s lesbian celebrity’s gf ?

65. weird femme icon. my girlie pop. if lesbians had fag hags i’d be one for her.

64. we have beef though even though we’ve never had an one on one conversation ໒꒰ྀི｡-︵-꒱ྀིა she just doesn’t like my vibes i guess. i probably think her brother is ‘kinda hot’... maybe that’s why. “Says she got her outfit at Goodwill, actually got it at Urban Outfitters” <- fact

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 63. i would do anything for her, i would be so down bad… if she started info dumping about marine ecosystems i would have to propose. she’d invite me (with a group, not one on one) to every beach clean up event and i’d try very hard not to be weird. in the picture used on the organizers’ instagram i’d be standing beside her and blushing really hard and i’d look back on that picture and laugh at myself :’3…. not sure if she could love me though.. i don’t think my feelings would be reciprocated at all. i am imagining her in her early to mid 30s for some reason? anyways she doesn’t date too far outside of her age range to begin with so my chance were not to nothing anyways. when i’m finally over her and tell that i had a crush on her she’s surprised because she had no idea but literally everyone else and their mom knew. wow really got into this one! um…. i really like bodies of water so

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 62. if i ever date— she’s either going to be the ex that ruined my life or my life partner. all i know is the good times would be really good. i feel like she’d respect me in a way others do not for some reason.

61. omg is that kurt kunkle in his hype beast fit?

60. i love her books / favourite author

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 59. im not worthy /lh

58. our circles wouldn’t cross

57. she looks fun and like she has the sweetest heart ever. she gives me city only girl vibes so we’d just be mutuals that compliment each other very enthusiastically

56. lesbians… should try that fit.. everyone should try that fit….

55. i don’t know. i need to know more about her. i feel she’d wanna go to edm music festivals and that isn’t really my scene. probably has a popular ig or tumblr for being hot and getting more masc people to wear crop tops again

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 54. “Even your grandmother who was only so-so about you dating women loves Dr. Ken. Like your whole family is so obsessed with Dr. Ken that they don’t even care that she’s not Jewish and they’re like, hang on to this one, don’t fuck it up! And you’re like YEAH I KNOW as if having a perfect girlfriend isn’t stressful enough already” LITERALLY. plus she has a kid ? or we have a kid???? hi tommy you angel! 🤍🤍🤍 id be the luckiest little thing under the sun. like she’s the best. ms. treat you right. i cannot stress this is the best lover you’ll ever have. also i get the vibe that i’d be her princess :3

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 53. NEED HER. two vibes that’s just her or that’s her drag king persona either is good.

52. i feel like she’d decide she wouldn’t be into me at first glance and or find me annoying

51. “Ken has a house in Saratoga mostly decorated with stuff she picked up in New Mexico when she lived there for a minute back in the ’80s. She’s very sweet and inquisitive and she has two large dogs she loves to pieces but you know what now that you mention it, she never really liked camping as much as the other girls did. Another love would be women’s music, of course”. agree 🤍

50. that’s her service animal actually. i feel like we’d be really good friends or at least enjoy working on our photography together.

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 49. “Art Director Ken is an asshole to everybody except you and her entire apartment is white and spotless even though she has a dog. She takes you to cool events—”. and no, i don’t have a crush on the dog walker— i am the dog walker in this scenario. we had a good time together but it couldn’t last because of the whole rude to people thing. i can imagine her being bitchy to someone in food service and then i’d just loose it and it would be over.

48. “Valerie: She started an all-female Warblers in protest of the original and they only sing songs made famous by men but they don’t change the pronouns”. never met her but i watch her group on youtube <333

47. old butch and that is a picture of when she was my age that she showed me on her really comfy couch

46. need more information, for some reason i’m getting nothing but the one earring is working on me

45. weren’t we all Cool Lookin’ Ken at one point in our lives

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 44. i’m in love with her. whether the pants are “zip off at the knee” or not is very important. we want want answers mattel !

43. of course Jasika Nicole has a wife. how did i not know that

42. i want to watch whatever film she’s in. give me a lesbian western pls

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 41. ok i lied the first time. actually i need her. need to be in the same room as her. i’d actually want my feelings to be reciprocated by her. i want to hold her hand at backyard experimental art showings. we met at a showing of a film by some gay boy in film school who i thought was hot. the film was good. i think he could be a household name some day but he’s like anti-industry and wants to stay underground so i’m like why spend money film school then? later Adventure Ken tells me his parents are loaded so that explains that. anyways we road trip a lot together i hope we’re in love.

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 40. “She goes by her Roller Derby name on Facebook because she doesn’t want her toxic stepfather to find her. She’s a really loyal friend and a downright incredible girlfriend and always puts safety first”. agreed. roller derby girl ! you are my world !

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 39. …you know what i’m going say… not be fooled i don’t have ‘types’ (grew out of that quickly, thank you horrible situations) but yeah just look like some older girlbrother in a 2000s or 2010s show and at the very least i’d want to cuddle with you :/ anyways i hope we’re seeing a horror movie on our date and i hope she’s real

38. “Jenna: yeah she’s always the sensitive one when she and her friends pretend to be a boy band” we couldn’t have that fun we’re friends but with undertone of romance vibe i like to have with my friends because she’d catch feelings feelings and i wouldn’t reciprocate because i have crush one of the other girls in the boy band. “boi band” sounds so 2013 to me maybe 2011? 2012?

37. one of the new ones! “Cameron: you think she’s gonna tell you about how we live in a post-gender, post-racial society but she surprises you by being super woke & you’re totally disarmed & you kind of hate yourself for it” <- this description is too good and too real. i’d see her at a gsa and go oh god she’s probably calls herself an activist online but she’s going to make weird comments about my heritage— but she’s actually on the ground and literally making changes in the community. also she has two dads that have been on the ground since they knew they could and instilled so much love and wisdom into their daughter. and i smack myself all the time about it because i thought i stopped judging people. anyways she has a fiancé who is pregnant, they very happy. i am invited to the baby shower but not the wedding. anyways i baked them stuff and got good at fibre art just make sure my handmade shower gifts were good enough. might be an uncle or godmother after all this.

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 36. “Dufrau: She seems very attentive
Stef: Bringing you sodas
putting on some mood music
even answering your phone
Molly: ‘hey babe i saw your twitter rants today and picked up some calming lavender bath bombs’” ✅✅

35. we all know her. either your friend’s ex or cousin. after she grows out of her fuckboy phase she really cool and neat

34. she’s on the food network and when you saw her at 9 years old you were like whoa. her instagram is so golden because she has really nice pictures of food, her wife and family— pets included!

33. “Ken just got to Los Angeles from Missouri and before moving had really only ever hooked up with straight girls (there was like this whole THING in high school). She isn’t looking for a relationship, but she keeps falling in love with incredible women / making out with strangers at The Abbey / not knowing what to do with all these new feelings” yes she also thirst traps a lot

32. “Dufrau: She dated two of my best friends sophomore year of college and ive never forgiven her for her behavior
Sarah: Cutie Fashionista Ken is the first time you get a dyke spike after listening to Viz by Le Tigre
Cameron: Cutie Fashionista Ken kept trying to be the Shane of the friend group” literally, enough said

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 31. i made her that shirt don’t laugh. she approached me, idk why but i was really surprised she liked me. anyways we’re really happy. i���m SO thankful she has an apartment. we have picturesque mornings.

30. “This is a lesbian who usually dresses on the masc side but always femmes it up for a thematic dance”. literally so much fun. friend met her and now we’re all buds. her parents are literally saints and her grandmother is always feeding me.

29. she’s obviously taken. anyways they’re the rich lesbian couple at the tennis club.

28. ??? i am missing a reference here?

27. another cool celebrity lesbian’s wife

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 26. “Jenna: she likes to cuddle
Dufrau: she has a great haircut” hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii home dates with her are bliss. her mom thinks i’m really pretty and our relationship helps her unlearn homophobic and transphobic opinions. me and her dad have something in common, like a silly quirk or hobby, favourite thing etc. he’s also a closet bisexual. when Hip Hoodie Ken and i move into together her dad comes out. by then her mom is chill and is the first check the homophobic aunties when try and say something about her daughter or husband.

25. had a crush on her when i was 11. thought she was so cool ! my favourite camp counsellor ever !! can play the guitar and does silly songs at the campfire and has that “let’s give all to god tonight” christian lesbian swag during chapel. charismatic angel. met her girlfriend at church.

24. haven’t seen this barbie movie and don’t plan to. i agree with mey— “Mey: No that’s rainbow dash the lesbian pony from my little pony”

23. i know who gigi but idk who nats is. anyways these barbies are giving lesbian influencer couple. searched them up— so they were a lesbian influencer couple at the time of this article. omg gigi is married slay! t4t love wins

22. curious about her, need more info

21. “Dufrau: She hosts a children’s show but adults watch because she is so soothing” yes and she is her city’s children’s pride marshal. mother of 3. her wife is like a cook? food ? influencer. like she cooks really yummy looking stuff and is huge on social media and is sometimes a guest judge on cooking shows. maybe she’ll get a netflix cooking show deal soon

20. i need that belt more than her

19. “Cameron: this is the outfit my friend wore to her bachelorette party. i’m not joking” so true. again we know or have seen this lesbian.

18. her family is crazy but they have money. she’s lowkey classist and ableist :///

17. good for them i guess

16. i saw this one in walmart “Cameron: this is just every summer gay.”

15. “Cameron: also every summer gay
Jenna: I feel like cali-cool said she would call you back, but she definitely didn’t call you back. And even though you didn’t really WANT her to call you back, it’s the principle of the thing”. yuh

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 14. i know her! she makes her own cider it’s so good. she’s really good at gifting people. she likes soup. i like wrapping her in blankets and giving her hot chocolate. we could 100% kiss and fall in love.

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 13. “Cameron: she helped me find a book i was looking for a gender studies research paper & suggested something better”. looking! for! her!

12. “Art Director Ken #2 is also an asshole but you deal with it ’cause she always gets bottle service for the table and has lots of stories about Closeted Power Lesbian parties in Palm Springs that happened in the late ’80s / early ’90s and she’s your only source regarding the possibility of Jada Pinkett-Smith being bisexual” only that one of my friends is dating her and that’s how i get the tea

11. “Cameron: She lost her snapback on a rollercoaster at Universal Studios. Will not let you forget it” <-

10. “Mey: Big brother ken is def a hot lesbian mom
Jenna: yeah, and she also owns a subaru
Mey: She ignores Sarah Pfefferman at PTA meetings” yuh!💞💞💞

9. 2010s lesbian character on abc(?)

8. “This outfit cost $400” true and i could literally get for $35 with the most expensive part being the shoes that i got a charity shop. the rest i got from walmart. anyways i’m making her autistic for some reason but we can’t be friends because she spent $400 dollars on that outfit.

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 7. :::/ *ignores that* ANYWAYS like i’ve let it slip i’m a fresh water mermaid but she looks more salt water </3 star crossed lovers

6. THIS IS LITERALLY SOMEONE’S EX THAT I KNOW OH MY GOD ITS LITERALLY [REDACTED] LOLLLLLLLLL. it was the lesbian divorce of the century [break up they weren’t actually married]

꒰აꨄ︎໒꒱ 5. also know her. we are mutuals on this very tumblr. and btw she’s SO tired of the villainization of southern [us]americans

4. wow nothing else needs to be said. molly is repping that Barbie Dreamhouse Ken swag

3. i remember this one very clearly for some reason. congratulations jenna for being Distressed Denim Ken (2017). maybe the kens were the lesbians we met along the way.

2. LOL i’m obsessed with the side by side lesbian matching. Hi Riese’s gf!

1. i loved reading about the design and creation process of this ken in particular! even looked for it online. idk if i’d actually buy the doll but yeah. “Alaina: “Did they consult Brittani Nichols for this doll? Because this doll is Brittani Nichols.” factual

and this was so fun thank you em <3

i looked at the related articles and found this gem ! real gaydies showing how we are all just lesbian ken

i’m not going go through each because those are real people and i feel like that would be kinda creepy BUT hello to “Lisa / 54 / Professor / Pittsburgh, PA” and Hillary “Scald Eagle” is such a cool name! everyone SERVED ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 i am still recovering. the comment section has really good stuff too :’3

as an aside i’ve now learned that there are a lot of lesbian teachers in the world. maybe education will be saved…

anyways thanks again for this i had so much fun !

[writtentragedies]

the forced-vacation aside— after she had taken an official vacation, ironically enough— they had been spending an excess amount of time together. so claire not being able to reach leon by phone for those few hours had started making her worried. he wasn’t chris, usually if he stopped responding there actually was a reason— and hopefully not one related to bio-terrorism.

but when he finally responded and said he’d come by, she exhaled in relief. the moment he knocked on her door, she opened it and nearly dragged him inside, closing and locking it behind him. “bedroom, now.” she says, not once thinking of the implications as she moves. once inside, she pushes him to sit on the edge of her bed, moving to her drawer and pulling a box out of it.

“‘kay, so, a couple things.” she’s talking with her hands more so than she would normally, though one hand holds the box firmly. “well, one thing, mainly, that i’m hoping you’ll be happy about— i, well.” she is happy, sure, but she’s also annoyed. mostly because terrasave is DEFINITELY going to force her on maternity leave, and she simply does NOT want that. she’s never really been at a loss for words before— sure, it took her years to finally admit her feelings for leon, but that was different! he was the one emotionally unavailable.

“actually.” she takes the lid off the box, and dumps the 10 different pregnancy tests only the bed next to leon. two of which being sheets of paper from the doctor detailing her blood test regarding it. she tosses the box behind the contents, and a hand rests on her hip. with a breath, she sighs, arms crossing over her chest as she gauges his reaction. “so… how do you feel?”

(claire @ leon -u-)

random asks - status: always accepting !! | @cautionsissued

The five hundred text messages she'd sent him had been a good indication that there was some serious matter Claire wanted, needed to talk to him about-- So after typing his reply and promising her he would be knocking on her door within fifteen minutes, he'd rushed out of his own apartment and climbed onto his bike. So what if he broke a few traffic laws to get to her place? He was worried and had to get there as soon as possible, okay. Besides, no one got hurt, it was all good.

He didn't really have enough time to offer a proper greeting once the door opened and Claire came into view, with the way she practically dragged him inside. "Yes, ma'am." Was all he said, a smirk adorning his lips as he started making his way towards her bedroom, a territory he knew well by now-- But that couldn't be it, that couldn't be the reason why she had been so eager to talk to him, to get him to come here--

Yeah, they'd been spending a lot of time together with no clothes on but still. It was unlike Claire to act like that if there was nothing truly important happening. Nonetheless, he let her push him to sit on her bed, looking up at her and listening closely to every word she said.

Leon's eyes widened as what he assumed were pregnancy tests nearly covered the whole bed-- he picked one up and yep, a pregnancy test indeed. A positive one. "Did all of these turn out..." He dropped the test he'd been holding for the past few seconds and grabbed another one. There was a pink plus sign on this one. " --Positive? Jesus, guess you really wanted to be sure about this." He snorted, shaking his head as amusement took over his features. But soon said amusement was replaced by... Something else. Something warmer & his smile was so bright it lit up his whole face.

"How do I feel? Are you kidding me-- Claire, I haven't felt this happy in... God, I don't even know how long. Plus it's refreshing to get some real good news for once," he chuckled. He was aware it may not be ideal for someone with a job like his to start a family but he did not want to think about any potential complications now, he only wished to enjoy the moment.

" --But what about you? Are you happy too?"

[lucile-rants]

Breaking news! Instead of letting a trans woman of color (a friend, not me) and a nonbinary person (who reads as very masculine, also not me) share their frustrations about the musical they'll never be cast in, local asshole decides to argue that they shouldn't be aloud to have that discussion and derails it into their own trauma instead, making the whole groupchat assure them that we don't hate them and also deal with heavily triggering topics being dumped with no warning! Complains that nobody wants to interact with them over the summer after ignoring my texts all summer!

I'm just not interacting on the gc rn. I don't have the mental health myself to talk about any of these topics. I know some of this is about me. Not shit I've actually done, but like, the small things. Saying I can't make it to their dance show because I have homework when really the reason is I don't have the energy, I don't like dance, and they did some shit to me over the year that makes me hesitant to be around them.

And and and they have a track record about lying for the fun of it! The shit they said would be taking it way too far, but it's not like they've never gone over the edge before.

You know what? Maybe I am, "Trying to convince [myself] that [I'm] in the right and [they're] in the wrong." Maybe I am. Maybe it's because I cannot deal with this on the groupchat I started to talk about stuff in theater.

My friend who is a transwoman was fucking on topic and talkking about the shit we were talking about. My friend who is nonbinary was on topic and talking about the shit we were talking about.

Maybe I do want to leave them. Maybe I do. Because the shit they pull is a weight that my barely functioning head can't handle.

Being an asshole about other people's flaws too is horrible. "[name], you attempting peace is a surprise. I thought you would have gotten popcorn and enjoyed the show." Fuck you. What a scummy thing to tell someone who has never done anything to suggest that.

"I'm pretty sure the last time I was hopeful was when i was like a year old maybe a year and a half." I call bullshit. I call fucking bullshit. You absolute asshole. When a trans woman explains how hopeless it felt to realize who she was and what the world thought of her, you don't tell her you haven't been hopeful once in your life.

And to say that after she said she didn't have the mental energy to deal with a serious conversation! And then right after that to give no warning before... ugh! It boils my blood!

I think she put it nicely when she said, "Listen, the fact is you are able to participate in theatre. You have the mental privilege of being able to do this." I really appreciate the way she put it because like, damn. Very real. Not all of us have a brain that's wired well enough to be able to do that or to be allowed to be able to do that.

I need them to fucking stop talking for five seconds. Someone else came into the chat to say that we're their friend and that we want to help and they legitimately said, "Yeah sure you do. Like I'd fall for that trick." FUCK OFF.

We're all trying to help, besides me who needs somewhere ANYWHERE to put my feelings so I don't make the situation worse by saying how I feel. They won't FUCKING ACCEPT THE HELP.

I know how it feels to be fucked over in the brain. Hell, I know how it feels to think all the thoughts they are saying. It isn't their fault for feeling like this but DAMN YOU if it doesn't affect the rest of us too. You can't just tell someone they're a horrible person who hates you and that they don't really care about you and that you want them to stop trying and complain that people will maybe at some point in the future leave you.

Thank you to the person they pointed out the flaws of out of the blue for saying, "Do not do that, especially not to [name]. Out of everyone here, [name] has probably been the most faithful and friendly," because dear god, yes he has. And dear god, I know he hurts and has been through so much. And I know he's getting better lately. He's too nice to point out that this whole groupchat is a fuck ton of bullshit from this person where they're trying to pull all of us into their pit.

And using his name to address him when saying horrible things that aren't true is too far. Maybe I'm just weird about names, but you don't use someone's name to do that. You just don't. Especially not someone who chose that name.

And when he suggests we all go to bed to cool off, they take that as a sign that people always leave when he tells them they will! He suggested we all take a break so we don't tear one another apart! That's all he said!

Please tell me how they can send the message, "No, I run into people who actually want to be friends with people who won't drive them insane," and follow it up with, "People who look out for themselves instead of everyone else." I'm sorry, but is it so self centered to not want your friends to hurt you and verbally attack you?

And ha ha! Always fun for someone to throw around the term narcissist! So much fun! (I don't even have NPD and people using it like any old insult irks me.)

And since when is cutting off people who hurt you selfish? I ask this as someone unable to do that.

I think I'm going to call someone who isn't in that groupchat and just talk to someone for a while. This whole thing is eating at me and I don't want to see spiders. I'm only still here so I can make sure that nobody fucking dies in the groupchat I started to discuss a class.

Don't worry. I'm in no danger.

[prettypinkmoon]

So I need some input/advise if you wouldn’t mind please 💕. So basically I was talking to this guy for over a year long distance, he lives in Miami and we’ve met 4 times in person. We would talk consistently, he told me how he wanted a relationship, for me to move there, have kids with him and all that but every time I’ve gone there something happened (him leaving me unexpectedly, him not being able to see me for very long telling me it was because he was taking care of his grandpa who he lived with) anyway but he kept in contact all this time and was just about to go see him again in 2 days and I received a call from a Miami phone number which I thought was weird so answered it and it was a girl and she goes “hi I received a phone call from this phone number” and I was like “no I didn’t call you” then she hangs up abruptly...then she calls back like 2 minutes later and then says she actually saw my phone number on her boyfriends phone and wondered how I knew her boyfriend...we continued to talk she at first told me they were together for a year and then she changed it for some reason to 3 years over text after I sent her the proof and everything of our texts and she was nice and respectful and not mad at me at all and after sending her all the texts to confirm she told me they broke up...he blocked me after I called him as he was on the way back to see her and I was like “you have a girlfriend” and then he goes “you had a dating app and hangs up and blocks me”...I did have a dating app and he went through my phone last time I was there and saw it and was upset and said “it broke him”. We weren’t ever official and like I said every time I went there he would leave me. Anyway, I have tried to call him from a private number many times because he blocked me and he’s been so hurtful. He unblocked me and said to “stop texting him, to move on, how he’s blocking me, how it’s clearly over, to stop being obsessed and to find someone else” why is he saying this when I was supposed to go there 2 days after the girlfriend called me?? Like they broke up and now he’s saying he doesn’t want to see me? I don’t understand...he’s also done this a lot with me where he’ll say bye or it’s done, block me and always come back. So our relationship has been challenging to say the least. But doesn’t it mean something that he’s kept in contact with me this long? At first, I thought he just wanted to hookup but he kept on talking to me and wanting me to go see him...for over a year. Why would he do this when he’s had a girlfriend of 3 years and she said they basically were living together. I don’t understand. Any input?

Hii! Sorry for the delay, my love :( I was just too busy these days.

Well, what can I say? You’ve got a really bad situation to handle, but at least it’s easy to get out of it! Girl, this average joe is a walking red flag, and you definitely shouldn’t ignore it. It’s funny how in his distorted mind having a dating app is the same as having a 3 year relationship LOL. He doesn’t have a brain, that’s enough motivation for you to leave him. Also, is great that his ex wasn’t rude to you, it could have made it harder to understand the whole picture. You’re worthy of someone who treats you right, so dump his ass!

I know it can be difficult when you already have feelings for someone, but do what is best for you and you won’t regret it.

Again, sorry for making you wait, if you want any more advice feel free to ask for it! Sending love🫶🫶🫶

Xoxo💋

[warblingandwriting]

Re-posting a goodreads review I wrote because I like it (although I did not like this book).

Fellow non-romance book lovers, this isn't for us.  

I was recommended this book as for book lovers who don't really like romance novels, so I checked it out. I'll admit this recommendation probably put my expectations out of whack; I was hoping for a campy, silly story about the cold hearted villain of usual romantic comedy formulas, and Nora was... not that. For my fellow curious readers I'll be getting into plot spoilers shortly, but for everyone else, if you typically love romance novels I'm sure you'll enjoy this, it isn't really bad, it just majorly wasn't for me, and I wish there had been a more comprehensive review like this when I was searching through them, so I'm writing one. So, first thing's first we meet Nora, dumped over the phone by her most recent beau, and not all that upset about it. And this is where we get into my issues. I feel like typical romcom 'bitch ex' actually has a freakout when she's eventually unceremoniously dumped, but this has happened to Nora more than once before, so she's somewhat numb to it. This, in and of itself is not terrible, but as the story moves forward we learn the tragic backstory of why she is the way she is. I'll lay it out now so it's not interspersed throughout the rest of the review, but it is interspersed throughout the book, and we don't really learn all the details until near the end, so it's more of a mystery in the text. Essentially her mom had a series of terrible boyfriends while her and sister were growing up (thus she's already cynical about men). When her mom died she was at her then-boyfriend's place, and didn't hear the news until hours afterwards which gave her major separation anxiety because she feels she let her sister down by not being there right away. The boyfriend then left to go to school. She went to visit him once, had a breakdown worrying about her sister, and basically went home right away. The bf became her first 'romcom villain character' moment, as he met someone else while studying and unceremoniously dumped Nora. Now she always has to sleep in her own bed (or be with her sister it seems), and her 'coldness' is kind of a result of these traumas, mixed with her allegedly cuthroat business acumen as a book agent, and an apparent love of designer clothes. This was a problem for me because the whole reason I picked up this book was to avoid typical romcom trappings, but instead it was full of them. I was actually specifically hoping this book wouldn't try to justify its main character, and instead just have fun with the idea of a character who is just... actually kind of a shallow person. But every aspect of her character that might be seen as unlikable has some drawn-out explanation. For instance: she likes designer clothes because she grew up poor and likes to revel in them now that she can afford them, the small town she goes to is actually kind of a dump so she can't be blamed for not instantly loving it, and so on and so forth. Because of all this she doesn't feel like the romcom villain I actually wanted to read about, she just felt like a typical romcom protagonist with more expensive tastes, and a few more break-ups under her belt. Anyway, immediately after this break-up she has a meeting with Charlie, the obvious love-interest, who is an editor at a prestigious publishing house, and she wants to sell one of her clients books to him. When she arrives he criticizes the book, says he doesn't want it, and they proceed to have an awkward lunch and leave apparently hating each other. A quick time-skip later and Nora managed to sell the book somewhere else, and it was a massive success. So massive, in fact, that Nora's sister wants to visit the small town it's set in, and try to give her a 'romcom moment' after her unluckiness in love. Nora reluctantly agrees, and they make plans to head off. (Sidenote: One the other things that grated on me was that Nora and Libby seemingly unironically call each other 'Sissy', like, frequently. If this author has a sister they do not have the relationship of my sister and I. I can't imagine calling her sissy unless I was trying to bother her on purpose or make fun of her). They go to this small town, Nora's city ways clash with the small town ideals. She mostly wears heels, but has to walk everywhere because the inn they're staying at is a ways out of town and off the main road! She has listen to cityscape noises at night because it's too quiet for her to sleep in the countryside! The charming cafe has no wifi so she can't work! Pretty typical stuff that I just think would have been better and more funny if the author was able embrace the idea of unlikable protagonist and not justify everything Nora did with more and more backstory. While there she meets two guys, the first, a hunky farmer with the traditional 'small town romcom charm' and the second is Charlie, who, as it turns out, grew up in this town (which is why he hated the book that was set there). In order to 'check' that Charlie is who Nora suspects he is she emails him so she can watch to see if he checks his phone and replies when she does. He does, and this sets off what is a weirdly jovial flirtation for two people who've only met in person once and had a bad time together, but whatever gets the plot moving. The conversations they have were also an issue for me, I mean, the book is called 'Book Lovers' so I was hoping they'd have some conversations about actual books, but the only books they talk about are the fictional in-universe ones. Aside from mentioning, like I think one favourite book that actually exists, and a few tossed off references to Jane Austen, the only book talk in a book called book lovers is about a fictional book that the audience can't engage with because it's not real. That bothered me probably more than it needed to because admittedly books just chock full with references to other books can be grating too, but I would have liked at least one conversation about these characters thoughts and feelings about a real book that exists that I could engage with on some level. But that is admittedly more of a minor personal gripe. Back to the plot, much of the book is Libby making Nora do typical romcom things. She sets up a tinder for Nora, and makes her go on a date with a random guy, who turns out to be a horrible sexist, so Nora ditches him for Charlie, who just so happens to be at the bar on the same night. They go a cute date, almost have sex but decide not to mix work and pleasure (even though they already have. This is one of those books that weirdly maintains even though these characters have made out, and fully done some hand stuff they won't irreparably change their relationship until actual piv sex happens... which is just another weird romcom trope I don't personally like). Then Libby decides to help refurbish the charming little bookstore (on the 'save a local business' section of her checklist) that it turns out Charlie's family owns. This puts Nora and Charlie in each other's way even more, and on top of that Nora has to do her remote work in Charlie's book shop because there isn't wifi anywhere else. Basically a set up to force them together, as after their almost-sex moment they want to avoid each other. As a part of Nora's 'coldness' she is working remotely throughout this vacation (as I mentioned before), and she is shocked to find that the book she is working on from a long time client to be about a facsimile of her: a cuthroat, cold, hollywood agent. The problem, of course, being that Nora doesn't resemble this character at all as we see her in the book, and especially not to her authors. She's actually really, really sweet to the author every time we see them interacting. This is another incentive for her to feel like she needs to loosen up more, but it comes off flat because it feels like the book is telling us she's Like This but not actually showing it (the brief reference made to the film The Philadelphia Story feels ironically apt in this sense. Tracy Lord is also a character who seems perfectly nice and normal but everyone in the movie is constantly like 'wow Tracy why are you so cold-hearted and mean?'. Another connection I wish she had maybe dug deeper into). So in her quest to seem less like the cold, calculated character that has apparently been based on her, she goes on a date with the hunky farm guy, who also happens to be Charlie's cousin. It's an ideal date, he acts totally perfect, and she almost gets swept up in the small town charm, but it doesn't feel right to her so she breaks it off. Doesn't go home with him, and decides to stick to Charlie. Although they've decided not to actually date, they have another couple of almost-sex encounters before decided to just bang it out for the duration of the vacation only. Of course, they are apparently going to wait to have actual sex until last, so there's just a lot more 'basically sex but it technically doesn't count because reasons' throughout. And of course trying to hide it from Libby (who will be upset that Nora has taken up with a city man also on vacation instead of a small-town boy) and from all of Charlie's family members. They get even closer through this, and through jointly editing the new book as it comes in (of course, they both love it and we barely understand what happens in it except for a Breakfast at Tiffany's reference right at the end). Nora realizes her dream of becoming an editor instead of a literary agent (something she gave up in order to continue making more money to support her at the time unmarried sister, because everything in this book needs that precious tragic backstory attached to it), and her and Libby help refurbish the town by setting up a festival based on the book that used it as a setting, complete with the author skyping in for a Q&A. All seems well until, shock and horror, we learn Libby had alternative motives for bringing Nora to this particular town. Throughout the book there have been hints that she might be getting a divorce, her and her husband are having weirdly short calls, he keeps texting Nora to see if everything is okay instead of his wife, just a lot of stuff to imply that their relationship is in danger. When her husband and kids show up to join them for the last week of the vacation though, all seems well, and Nora is comforted. It turns out the actual reason for all the secrecy is that Libby is moving to small town, and away from Nora. Nora is devastated (because of all the previously mentioned trauma), which is exactly why Libby had trouble telling her. And then the book acts like it was actually about their sibling relationship all along? I mean, don't get me wrong, they have some good moments, but don't pretend that this was ever about them. Libby was just window dressing to give Nora a heart, because again, the author seemed incapable of embracing her own premise. Even worse, Charlie is also staying to help out his parents (which is why he put a time-limit on his relationship with Nora). She's totally devastated, she gets her editor job, but her sister and new beau are leaving her. Of course, she is able to become reconciled to what her sister wants once she actually thinks about it, but she's still pretty sad about Charlie. She goes back to New York, enjoys her job, and after time skip she participates in a tradition her and her sister have of going to the same book shop on the same day every year alone. And of course, Charlie shows up to sweep her off her feet. The plots resolve themselves, as Libby (who was previously a stay at home mom) started working at the book store so Charlie no longer has to! He's moving back to New York, and of course wants to be with Nora. Another time skip shows them all back in Sunshine Falls with Nora getting ready for the proposal that she knows Charlie is going to make because they discussed it in detail, and she chose her own ring. This is supposed to imply that they're perfectly unromantic together and didn't have to change! As if they didn't have a ton of romantic moments (a moonlight swim, a stolen kiss etc, etc) throughout the book. Just another attempt at making them seem like some match made in heaven corporate cold hearted couple, even though neither of them actually act like that throughout most of the book. Obviously there is a lot I didn't mention here, the classic jealousy over one of Charlie's exes, Charlie's parents also having a perfect romcom meetcute, and Libby and Nora having sporadic shopping sprees and movie nights, but I have already written far too many words. As I said I think actual fans of romantic comedies will have a great time with this... just please don't recommend it to your friends who don't like romantic comedies but are trying to broaden their horizons. I was told more than once that this was a good romcom for people who don't like them, and I think that is simply not true. I was hoping for more actual satire, more bitchiness, just more fun over all, and that's just not what this book is. If you're here, like I was a short time ago, because someone told you you HAVE to read this because it's a romantic comedy for people who don't like them, and therefor perfect for you, don't believe it. Skip this one, and maybe just watch The Shop Around the Corner instead.

[branmuffins22]

New week, same fics in need of progress. :P

File Names (they're all The Owl House fanfics):

Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas; a post-finale (but pre-epilogue) Veesha longfic, featuring Masha trying their damnedest to figure out what the Nocedas' whole Deal™ is, while Luz, Vee, and Hunter try as hard as possible to be Normal and Inconspicuous. Neither party is doing a very good job. It's a light-hearted mess.

Something Like a Bible; a test document of sorts for my canon rewrite, tentatively either the "Artificer AU" or "Overthinker AU", going over the broad-strokes plot and its divergences from canon. The characters and motivations remain largely unchanged, but I'm changing up the timeline some to explore new plots and leave more space for supplemental adventures in the season 2 equivalent, as well as doing perhaps a bit too much worldbuilding, headcanon dumping, and so on. I've actually started writing it now, as of a couple hours ago Last Week!

Intermission: In the Making; a scene from the aforementioned AU, in which Luz brews a special potion based on some notes left by Eda and Lilith. To be frank, I'm only writing the notes from the Clawthorne Sisters themselves for now, and I may send progress of a different fic instead to prevent spoilers.

Thanks to Them Ending Ragefic Redux; a scene from the aforementioned AU, in which the events of Thanks to Them end just a little differently. I've already written pretty much the whole changed part, so all you'd get is canon-retreading if I send progress from this one, so I'll probably do something else.

Small Town Paranormal Investigations; a scene (or really more like vague notes about an episode) from the aforementioned AU, in which the Hexsquad and Cabin 7 team up to, as the name suggests, investigate some paranormal activity in the small town of Gravesfield. May or may not include Vee coming out to her friends from camp, will definitely include a ghost hunt.

Now for the snippet: the tail end of a text conversation in Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas.

Vee :3 | 5:00 PM yeah, unfortunately. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Actually, I probably wouldn't even be able to fall asleep, I've been weirdly jittery today. ~Masha~ | 5:01 PM jittery like nervous? do you also have anxiety? Vee :3 | 5:02 PM "Also"? Do YOU have anxiety? ~Masha~ | 5:02 PM no, but im like 99% sure luz does she mentioned feeling the same way at camp a few times, shaky and scared for no apparent reason. you could probly ask her about it when she gets back Vee :3 | 5:04 PM Ah. I'll think about it. Oh! With nobody else here to complain about the water getting cold, I could take a bath or a long shower! ~Masha~ | 5:07 PM hey that works as long as youre not worried about mrs nocedas water bill Vee :3 | 5:08 PM I mean, groceries and electricity and stuff have been pretty cheap lately with just me here, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind. :3 ~Masha~ | 5:08 PM fair lol Vee :3 | 5:09 PM Plus, I think I deserve something nice after facing all those weird rude solicitors. ~Masha~ | 5:09 PM oh yeah that reminds me are the nocedas paying you for all that? Vee :3 | 5:10 PM No? Not really? Maybe, but not yet? I don't really know. :/ They were in a pretty big hurry to leave, so we didn't have time to figure everything out. Someone needed to watch the house, and I volunteered. Knowing Camila, she's just gonna treat me to something nice once they're all back, and I'm a-okay with that. ~Masha~ | 5:12 PM if you say so i think id get Violent if i had to deal with that jerk and wasnt even getting paid for it Vee :3 | 5:13 PM Again, that probably would've been more trouble than it's worth. Anyways, I'd love to talk more, but I think I can hear the hot water calling my name. >w> ~Masha~ | 5:14 PM fine, fine, take ur shower >;P i still think u coulda gotten away with at least kicking him tho

WIP Wednesday Game

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

Requested/Friend event mentions under the cut! If you'd like to be pinged next week, let me know!

Friends @fiore-della-valle @redbirdblogs @greenbergsays @idkfandomwhatever @luckyspike

@obaewankenope @mad-madam-m @anonymousdandelion @geometricfractal @prettybirdy979

@eriquin | Requests @aparticularbandit @madnessfromthemountains @makeroftherunes @1attheedge

@whimsicalmeerkat @kidsomeday @lizhly-writes @skyderman @adhdavinci

@owlbearwrites @anachronismstellar @anyctibius @rilannon @lazinesswrites

@zyrafowe-sny @dreaminghour @blue-eyedbeta @candyskiez @dreamerking27

@kalira @virgulesmith @i-want-delfeur @selkies-world @exceedinglygayotter

[siderealscribblings]

“I am ninety-nine percent sure I know who Chat Noir is.”

It was a heck of a thing to drop out of the blue, but since Marinette revealed her identity to Ladybug, Marinette had gotten used to Alya texting or calling at odd hours with sudden revelations.

(“THAT’S how you knew Lila was lying?!”)

(“So when you skipped on our hangout sess a few months ago, was it because-”)

(“I’m just saying, I know I guy who might be able to doxx Hawk Moth.”)

Unlike her usual stunning revelations though, this one was not one Marinette already knew.

“Okay,” Marinette said, blinking to keep her eyes from completely bugging out of their sockets. “How do you-”

“I just felt like I should be honest, you know?” Alya chuckled. “Since...you know-”

“Yeah, no...thanks,” Marinette said, slightly dazed. “I...um...how do you know?”

“Well...let’s just say I noticed a pattern,” Alya said, chewing on the corner of her lip. “Do you want to know who-”

“No,” Marinett said, before quickly adding. “I mean...it would be better to keep things between us secret for now.”

Alya opened her mouth, an argument on the tip of her tongue, but seemed to swallow it with a nod. “Okay...yeah, sure, I get it.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Marinette said quickly, maybe more for her own benefit than Alya’s. “I do! I swear! I just-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Alya said quickly.

“And he’s wanted to reveal ourselves to each other for a long time,” Marinette muttered, ignoring Alya’s easy-out. “I was the one who insisted we keep our identities secret and I’m just...really, really not looking forward to the conversation where I tell him I was the one to break our no-sharing rule...you think he’ll be mad?”

“You tell me ,” Alya said, throwing her hands up. “He’s your partner-”

“He’s going to be mad ,” Marinette moaned, burying her face in her hands. “And hurt and-”

“And...so what?” Alya asked.

“So he’s my partner and we already have this...trust...thing between us,” Marinette sighed. “Long story short the last Guardian wasn’t a very good teacher to him and he’s had to deal with being locked out of the loop before...I just worry that I keep asking him to trust me while constantly keeping secrets from him.”

“And he’s keeping one from you,” Alya said gently. “Kind of a crappy situation all around but...well, let’s just say I think he’s a really understanding guy.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who constantly has to just understand me though,” Marinette said with a wince. “Sorry, I don’t mean to keep dumping all my Ladybaggage on you.”

“I’ll tell you if I’ve had enough,” Alya said firmly, squeezing Marinette’s wrist. “I don’t mind; really.”

If she lived another hundred years, she would never stop trying to return the kindness and understanding Alya had displayed to her since revealing her identity.

“Thanks,” Marinette said,, the movie on the screen forgotten as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “So...n-not that I’m prying for details but...this guy you think is Chat Noir-”

“Sounds like you’re prying for details,” Alya snickered. “Don’t tell me you’re curious about him.”

“Of course I am!” Marinette huffed. “Wouldn’t you be?”

“I don’t need to be curious; I figured out my boyfriend’s identity by myself,” Alya said smugly. “You want covert deets?”

Marinette weighed her words carefully before speaking. “Is he...out of costume...when he goes home...is he happy?”

Alya’s expression was unreadable for a long moment. “Do you want the truth or...do you want me to say something that will make you feel good?”

“Well that tells me the truth probably sucks, doesn’t it?” Marinette sighed, rubbing her eyes. “He’s got...he’s got a lot of friends, right?”

“He has a...few really good ones,” Alya reasoned.

“And his family?” Marinette asked.

“His family...exists,” Alya said as diplomatically as she could. “Look, we’re treading on major spoiler territory here; can you tell me what you want to know so I can pull it out from all the other information?”

Marinette stared down at her hands thoughtfully for a moment. “...being the Guardian by myself has been one of the loneliest times in my life. I have you now; I had Master Fu for a lot longer than he did. It would make me feel better if I knew Chat Noir was...okay outside the suit. But I think you just answered my question.”

“Look, I can’t tell you how he feels,” Alya said, rubbing Marinette’s shoulder gently. “I can’t read minds, Mari...but-”

“You think I should tell him about me?” Marinette asked hesitantly.

“I think that’s your call,” Alya said. “Do you want my advice?”

“You think I should talk to him,” Marinette said, deflating a little.

“If he finds out from someone who isn’t you, it’s not gonna do wonders for the whole Trust thing you got going on,” Alya said. “And...look, I think it’s great you reached out to me. And I think whatever you want to do with your identity is your business...but I think he deserves the same opportunity to confide in someone. In fact...I think he really needs it.”

“But how do I know he’ll pick the right person?” Marinette blurted out. “What if he picks someone who Hawk Moth compromises and-”

“Didn’t you just say you trusted him?” Alya asked, stopping Marinette’s catastrophizing in her tracks.

“I do...I promise I do...but-”

“You either do or you don’t,” Alya said softly. “And telling him that you broke your rules and he can’t is not going to convince him you trust him. Saying you trust someone is like saying you’re going to work out; you don’t get the results unless you actually do it.”

“I could pick someone for him,” Marinette muttered, looking up at Alya. “Someone trustworthy.”

“Someone you trust,” Alya said. “This has to be someone he trusts. Or else what’s the point?”

“You already know though!” Marinette said.

“ Hey Chat Noir, I completely trust you with my life but also, I’m going to make the choice of who you can and can’t talk to about your personal business,” Alya said, watching Marinette’s nose wrinkle in irritation. “Tell me how that chat is going to go.”

“You know ignoring your advice is getting harder now that you know about me,” Marinette grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Ignore it if you want; just don’t be surprised if this pushes you apart,” Alya shrugged.

“It won’t, he’ll…” Marinette trailed off. “He wouldn’t stop being my partner over this, right?”

“And if he did?” Alya probed. “Just pick a new Chat Noir.”

“I don’t-” Marinette swallowed, shaking her head. “No...I don’t want another Chat Noir.”

“Then you’re going to have to keep this one,” Alya said, squeezing her shoulder. “That means being honest and fair with your partner; if not about your identity, then about his .”

Marinette nodded mutely, turning her gaze back to the movie as Alya stood up. “Want something from the kitchen?”

“I’m good,” Marinette said, fidgeting with her bracelet as she tried not to dread the conversation she knew she had to have.

---

To his credit, the storm of accusations she imagined would come out of Chat Noir’s mouth did not come; Ladybug might have felt better if they did.

Instead, her partner looked dazed, blinking and nodding as his gaze turned away from her. “...okay-”

“I swear this is not about you,” Ladybug said quickly, tugging on Chat Noir’s arm as he turned away from her. “And it doesn’t mean I don’t trust you! I swear I do.”

“No I...I understand,” Chat Noir said, the cheer in his voice becoming more and more forced. “Um...you know, I-I have a lot of homework to do tonight-”

“Chat...please look at me,” Ladybug said, tilting her partner’s face towards hers. Of course she had made him cry, but she tried to push down her guilt. This wasn’t about what she did; given the same choice, she would have picked Alya again, even if it meant hurting Chat Noir in the process.

“I know I don’t have a lot of opportunities to display how much I trust you,” Ladybug said, licking her lips. “So it probably feels like I just tossed aside a huge chance to show how much you mean to me...but this was about me doing what I needed-”

“You don’t need to...you’re the Guardian-”

“That doesn't make me your master !” Ladybug said emphatically, startling Chat Noir out of his daze. “That doesn’t mean I can control who you talk to and who you confide in! I still...I still think we’re too close and rely on each other too much to jeopardize our working relationship...but if there’s someone in your life you trust, I...I want you to have the same opportunity. To confide in someone you trust.”

“Not you though,” Chat Noir muttered.

“There has to be someone else,” Ladybug said almost desperately. “Tell me I’m not the only person in your life you can rely on…”

Alya had been such a positive force in her life since she had told her; she thought back to all the times they had stayed up late talking, all the times Alya had listened to her vent about akuma, all the nights she held her hand because she had watched Chat Noir die to save her yet again.

Was there no one Chat Noir could turn to when he was alone?

Chat Noir seemed to chew it over for a long moment, blinking back tears still as he tried to grapple with the fact his relationship with Ladybug had shifted out from underneath him yet again. “...do I have to tell you who it is?”

“I think it’s better if you don’t,” Ladybug said softly. “Sorry...if I knew who you trusted, I might be able to figure out who you are. This way...I’m not the only one keeping secrets-”

“I don’t want to keep secrets,” Chat Noir grumbled.

“I know,” Ladybug sighed. “And I promise, I swear, the minute Hawk Moth is gone, there will be no more secrets between us! This... mess of half-truths and half-lies will end and we can just be-”

The idea of being something to Chat Noir outside the mask was something not even Alya knew; a secret all her own that might never come to light.

“This is just for now,” Ladybug said firmly. “Not forever.”

Chat Noir nodded, once again resigned to a fate someone else had picked for him. “I get it...I do.”

“Are you mad at me?” Ladybug asked.

Chat Noir weighed the answer for a long moment. “...no,” Chat Noir said with a shrug. “Just...can we pick this up some other time? I wasn’t kidding about the homework.”

For the first time there was a real wall between her and Chat Noir and Ladybug was shocked by how much she detested it.

“I understand,” Ladybug said quietly. “But I meant what I said when I said you should find someone to turn to. I wish I could help you with everything, but-”

“For now...you can’t,” Chat Noir nodded, putting on a brave face. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Ladybug let Chat Noir slip out of her fingertips, momentarily reaching out to pull him back before thinking better of herself. She didn’t expect him to be sunshine and rainbows after telling him, but as firm as she was in her convictions, it still sucked to see him in pain.

Just deal with it yourself like he has to, Ladybug thought as she watched Chat Noir turn and dive off the roof of the building. Alya’s had enough on her plate...you don’t need to bother her with-

Her resolve lasted until she transformed, blinking back tears as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

---

“Did I do the right thing?”

Alya said nothing, running her hands through Ladybug’s hair as she laid her head on her lap.

“Sometimes...doing the right thing hurts people as a result,” Alya said carefully. “It’s just a sucky part of life.”

“I hate it,” Ladybug sniffed, wiping her eyes with another tissue. “I think he thinks I love keeping secrets from him but...I really hate it. It makes me feel so alone...and I don’t want him to feel that way either.”

“And he can figure out how to feel less alone himself now,” Alya said soothingly. “This guy...I know he has at least one really great friend.”

“Like you?”

“...maybe a little better,” Alya said fondly. “I know he’d move earth to put a smile on Chat Noir’s face, so maybe let this problem fall in his lap instead of yours. You don’t have to do everything to make everyone happy all the time.”

“I want to,” Ladybug muttered.

“ Everybody includes you ,” Alya said firmly. “Take care of yourself first ; let Chat Noir take care of himself now.”

“I worry about him though,” Ladybug said quietly.

Alya glanced down at her phone, seeing a message from Nino flash on her screen.

Nino: hey babe

Nino: can’t make it tonight

Nino: adrien sounds really upset and said he wanted to talk to me about something

“Don’t." Alya smiled as she laid the phone on the bed beside her. “He’s in good hands.”

Ao3 

[peterparkersnose]

flash the douchebag

canon!peter x reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: abusive relationships, violence

a/n hey guys! thank you for all the love on my birthday series. best gift I got this year (minus the andrew garfield religious candle)

summary: Y/N breaks things off with Flash and finds a new love in Peter. You can imagine how Flash took the news. 

read time: 4 mins and 16 seconds

masterlist

You felt pathetic dating the most popular guy in school. Flash was one of the worst people you knew. Being somewhat close to gorgeous and a sports player immediately made you two a ‘perfect match’. You would always be drawn back by the toxic culture of the school. People practically expected you two to be together. You were sick of living this fake plastic life with someone you didn’t even like. 

You were texted a video of Flash and some girl making out at a party last weekend. You honestly didn’t really care, but you wanted to use it to your advantage. 

“The hell is this?” you ask, leaning up next to his locker. The video was playing on your phone. “Thats such bullshit, Y/N.” he brushed off. “Flash, I’m sick of being treated like this!” you yelled. Some people turned their heads. “Y/N, calm down.” Flash said. “This is it. We’re done. For real!” you yelled, surely attracting the attention of everyone in the hallway. You walked away, people moving out of your way down the hallway. “We’ll see about that. I know you’ll come crawling back to me again, just like you always do!”

You walked into first period feeling great. You really weren't, even how bad he begged for you back. 

“Y-you okay?” you hear a small voice say behind you. You turn around to find Peter Parker. 

“Yeah, I’m good. Why wouldn’t I be?” you asked.

“Oh, I mean that whole thing with Flash-”

“I’m actually feeling great.” you smiled. Peter’s cheeks flushed red, just like any one else’s would talking to the most gorgeous girl in school. 

You know, now that you think of it, Peter’s kind of cute.

“Okay class, today we will be doing some partner work.” your teacher announced. 

You immediately spun around and found Peter fiddling with his thumbs. “Wanna be partners?” you asked. He gulped. “Sure,”

“Yes, but if you carry the formula correctly you get-” you laughed. “Y/N, I think I know how to apply a formula to project like this,” he said, smiling back. “I never noticed how charming you were,” you said, did you really just say that out loud?

“O-oh, thank you.” Peter said smiling, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Class, we have about five minutes left of class, you will be expected to work with your partner on this outside of class. Due Friday!” they announced. 

“You doing anything tonight?” you asked Peter. You didn’t know if you were just pumped up from dumping Flash or if you were just feeling over confident today. “No- uh,” “Cool. You know Pablo’s on second?” “Yeah,” “Meet me there at 5?” “Yeah, definitely. Is Pablo going to mind us working though, it’s a pizza shop.” “Pablo’s my uncle. We’re good,”

-

You waited at your Uncle’s pizza shop for Peter. You were of course, early. It was only 4:46. “Who are you waiting for again?” your Aunt asked, cleaning her floured hands with a rag. “Oh, just a friend. We have a project, he should be here soon.” “He?” your Aunt asked, knowing how possessive Flash was. “Flash and I are done. For real. He can deal with it, it’s not like I’m his property.” “Good for you. I never liked him anyways,” she smiled, returning to the kitchen. You sipped on your soda waiting for Peter to arrive.

He was there, 5 on the dot. “Hey!” he said, greeting you in a window booth. “You want anything? I get it for free so,” “Oh, uh, a water would be nice.” Peter said.

Your Aunt brought you guys dinner. It was around 6:30 now, and you guys were almost finished up with the project. 

“Uh oh,” she said, watching out of the window. Flash was walking by, two girls on his hip. He noticed you in the booth and gave you a wink, then laughed with the other girls. He then saw Peter, and stopped in his tracks.

“Parker?” he yelled, flinging the doors open. “Hey! This is an establishment, lower your voice!” your Aunt barked at him. He gave her a dirty look. “The hell you doing here with him? Huh?” “Flash, you need to leave.” you sighed, trying not to look at him. Peter sat silent. 

“No, you can just dump me like that and then go out with Peter? How is that fair?” he yelled. “We’re working on a project, dumbass. Peter is a better date than you ever were anyways.” You scoffed. “Oh hell no, you wanna fight Parker?” Flash said, getting heated. “Flash I never said I-” “Let’s fucking go Parker!”

Your Uncle stepped out of the kitchen. “What the hell is going on here?” he asked, finding Flash almost ready to rip Peter’s head off. “We were just leaving, right Peter?” you asked, standing up. He followed you. “I’m about to beat the shit out of Parker,” Flash smiled, and swung at an unsuspecting Peter. “Enough of this shit! Out!” your Uncle yelled, psychically pushing Flash out of the restaurant. You didn’t care enough to watch him leave. 

“Oh my god are you okay?” you asked him, grabbing a napkin and wiping a tiny bit of blood coming out of his forehead. “Y-yeah I’m good.” he stuttered. “This is all my fault I-” “No Y/N, Flash is just an asshole.”

“Let me walk you home,”

You walked with Peter to his house. He didn’t live far.

“It’s so stupid, ya know. Flash thinks I’m his property or something. I’m done living like this!” you complained. “I’m proud of you for dumping him,” Peter sighed. The validation felt nice. “Thank you,” you said, unconsciously grabbing his hand.

“You-”

“Oh,”

You pulled back. He pulled your hand back into his. 

“You know, I meant what I said in there. It wasn’t a date, but your the nicest guy I’ve come across in a while,” you smiled. 

Peter was internally screaming. “W-well it’s not hard to beat Flash,” 

“Peter?” “Yeah?” “You want to meet up again? Next week same time, same place?” you asked him. He had the biggest grin on. “Oh definitely! Yes!” he exclaimed. 

You were excited about a new possible relationship, and one that would treat you right. 

“This is me,” Peter said, stopping at the front of his building. “Oh no way, I live two streets down,” you said. “Oh, cool cool.”

“See you later,” you smiled. You were about to walk away, but your hand was pulled back.

“Y/N?” “Yes Peter,” “C-can I-”

You could tell the tiny nerd was afraid to ask if he could kiss you. “Oh Peter,” you smiled, as he gave you a soft gentle kiss. “That was- amazing.” he smiled. You two stood together in awkwardness, but you loved every second of it. “I should get going,” you smiled. “Next week!” you said, walking away as Peter stayed, kind of stunned. 

You looked back a few feet later, and saw Peter almost jumping into his building, ecstatic that he just kissed the prettiest girl at school.

It made you laugh as you walked home. Imagining Peter flying into his apartment telling Aunt May in a jumble of words.

[tokrev-roses]

Pit-A-Pat

Date Night HC

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: none

Characters: Chifuyu, Baji, Mitsuya

❧ Chifuyu Matsuno

Random dates at the weirdest times, but it’s Chifuyu, so it’s fine

Picks you up early in the morning to have a pre-school breakfast date

Picks you up from school without telling you, you’d only hear your schoolmates whispering about that cute boy and his bike at the gate

You walk over to him, being like “wth Chifuyu??”

And he is just standing there, leaning against his bike and greets you with the warmest eye-smile while handing you a helmet

Wants to spent time with you, but it is kinda problematic with his school-life and nightly gang activities

“Walking in the park and buying ice-cream” dates for him

Wants you to lick his icecream??

Like, he has seen another couple doing this somewhere, and he wants you to do it too

And you wouldn’t get his bragging about how delicious his choice is

 At last, he’d ask you

“y/n. you wanna try it?”

“sure. 😊”

He’d be oddly satisfied after, but whatever makes him happy is fine with you

Another kind of date is the “late night playground date”

With him texting you at the most random hour that he is in front of your house

You greet him at the door, about to decline his offer, when he gives you the “Chifuyu-look”

Needless to say, you ended up seesawing on a sway in the middle of the night

But he gave you his jacket if that makes things up

❧ Keisuke Baji

That guy that tries to be coolest boi out there while dying internally

Definitely talked this date over with his mom

Not because he wanted, but he needed her to lift the grounding

She would go and give him tips…you know…mom-tips

How he should dress nicely, behave, give you flowers and everything

 And him being the good son he is, he would listen

Now imagine you waiting outside a cinema (totally not Baji-style, I know, you know, he knows) in cute clothes, having typical date thoughts like “what if he forgot”, “what if he is going to dump me” until someone taps you on the shoulder

At first you are surprised by the person in front of you

He feels so uncomfortable, but would not complain

Ironed suit, slicked back hair, flowers in his hand

you have some trouble finding your Keisuke in this person

gritting his teeth while giving you the flowers

In that moment some random dude bumped into him and he kinda fell into your arms while the flowers landed on the ground

You chuckle while holding him up, fully expecting him to go into Berserker-Baji mood

But he just takes a deep breath, trying to calm his temper

 “So…you’re really not gonna do anything about that guy? Where is Keisuke and what have you done with him?”

 “Y/n.”

You tried your best to hold back, but the whole situation was so hilarious

Things got even worse

The movie you planned to watch had already begun

Baji was about to beat the guy at the entrance, but you intervened, assuring him that its fine and that you could do something else

You bought some snacks at a 7/11, while Baji walked behind you being all pouty

After you left the store you stopped him, ruffling through his hair to make him look more like himself while chuckling

“Keisuke. Anything that involves you is fine with me. Don’t worry.”

Now he is pouty and blushy

Your late-night adventure ended on a bridge, sharing snacks, and looking at the river. Not your worst experience and you made sure he knew that.

❧ Takashi Mitsuya

Home date, home date. HOME DATE.

I imagine your date to go two ways depending whether he needs to babysit his sisters (which is the usual thing) or if he is free (which is rare)

If you have a home date it won’t be less exciting than going somewhere else

Because the Mitsuya household is so cozy and comfortable

Home-cooked meals by Takashi, who asked you about your favourite dish before

Mana and Luna greeting you at the front door while he stands in the kitchen

The two girls being all over you, admiring the “pretty guest”

You try to make your way into the kitchen, where he is stirring something in a pan

He turns around and gives you the warmest smile ever (it feels like you just came home to your husband cooking smth for you)

He tells the girls to get off you and lay the table

Finally greets you with a soft hug

So much fun while eating, the girls babbling all the time and, of course, embarrassing Takashi, saying how he was “excited for his special person to come”

Both of you help them to get ready for bed, but they complained the whole time that Takashi just wants to do “kissy stuff with you” and now you’re both blushing like hell

Once both of them are (finally) asleep, its couple time

I’m talking about laying on the couch, your legs over his, a big bowl of snacks between, watching a cheesy romance or something (The Devil wears Prada? Got a feeling that’s a movie he’d love)

You either end up sleeping in his bed while he takes the couch, or you go home

In that case he’d insist to bring you, but you would stop him with a wave of your hand. He needs to watch his sisters after all

 A kiss on the cheek as a goodbye for him to see him turn mushy. He is used to female contact, but with you…it is something else entirely

Those would be weekly dates for you

Now, if he is without siblings, expect some crafty dates, like a pottery workshop, going shopping without actually buying anything (money??), him telling you what would fit you (he would be deadly honest about it. No sugar-coating)

Nice café dates with the whole "ordering one milkshake and drink it together" thing

Cute and wholesome, puts a lot of effort into those dates, cuz he feels like the home-dates don’t do you justice 

This is my first time writing for husband material Takashi Mitsuya. I hope I did him justice.

Also, I kinda mixed first date with general dates, so I hope this isn’t a problem? Any opinion and criticism is welcome, and I hope you like it anyways!

Rosalie 🌹

[fruitcoops]

Cake Off

Happy birthday, Finn O'Hara! Here's to hoping all your wishes come true <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Marlene waved to the camera as she wove a small whisk into her bun; behind her, five young men sat in front of a well-lit industrial kitchen. “Hello, Lions, and welcome back to Lion Pride! I’m your host, Marlene McKinnon, and we’re here today to celebrate someone we all love very much.”

“Some more than others,” Leo corrected.

“Today is Finn O’Hara’s 25thbirthday,” Marlene continued. “And my gift to him was letting him pick what our next video was going to be. Being the agent of chaos we know and love, he chose to force his friends to make him birthday cakes. Cap, Knutty, I know you two are feeling pretty confident about this. Tremzy, Kasey, and Loops, how are we feeling today?”

Logan’s expression was rather pained. “Can I apologize in advance?”

“I have…a history with ovens,” Kasey said carefully. “Kind of like Britain’s history with the rest of the world, except I’m the rest of the world and the oven wins nine times out of ten.”

“I don’t bake,” Remus sighed. “This is going to be an adventure. Can I leave if I already got him a present?”

“Nope!” Marlene chirped. “To your stations, everyone!”

The five of them trooped to the countertops, which had been covered with a colorful assortment of baking supplies; Logan’s smile grew even more nervous. “Is there a guidebook, or something?”

Marlene ruffled his hair as she passed. “Where’s the fun in that? You have two hours to make a unique birthday cake. On your marks—”

Kasey went pale. “Wait—”

“—get set—”

“Marlene, please,” Remus begged.

“—go!”

“Oh my god,” Logan muttered. “Uh, I don’t have a recipe.”

Marlene’s grin was wicked. “That’s the extra bonus fun.”

Leo paused from where he was measuring flour into a sifter and raised his hand. “Finn’s not actually tasting everyone’s cakes, right? ‘Cause making him sick on his birthday seems a bit mean.”

“He only has to try one bite of each,” Marlene assured him as she stopped by Sirius’ station, where he was gathering his ingredients in a line. “Cap, what are you making today?”

“Vanilla with chocolate frosting. I know the recipe by heart, but I only make it when I’m stressed.” A furrow appeared between his brows before he straightened up and raised his voice. “Hey, someone stress me out!”

“Playoffs!” Kasey shouted from across the room. All five men immediately hurried to knock on the wooden cabinets.

“Thanks!” Sirius gave him a thumbs-up and Kasey winked.

“And somebody won’t be sleeping tonight,” Remus muttered, flicking sugar at Kasey. “Thanks, Bliz.”

Logan was still bracing himself against the countertop when Marlene arrived at his table. “How’re you feeling, Tremz? I see you haven’t chosen any ingredients.”

“There’s a very fine line between making your boyfriend a birthday cake and poisoning him,” Logan said after a moment. “And I think I’m about to find out where it is.”

“What are you making?”

“I don’t know yet. Whatever happens, happens.”

“Fair enough,” Marlene laughed as she moved on. “Leo?”

“I’m gonna make a lemon cake,” he said with a proud smile as he mixed the dry ingredients. “And it’s going to be delicious.”

“Do you bake at home very often? You sound confident.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “For special occasions, yeah. I vaguely know what I’m doing, so I feel pretty good.”

“How do you think Logan’s cake will turn out?”

Leo paused and glanced up. A beat of silence passed before he bit his lower lip. “I think it’s a really good thing that Finn has two boyfriends that are making him cakes.”

“Rude,” Logan grumbled as he dumped another cupful of flour into a bowl to Sirius’ obvious horror. He stuck his tongue out. “Don’t give me that look, Cap, this cake is going to be fucking amazing.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows and turned back to his own batter. “If you say so.”

Logan stood on his toes and poured the next cup directly over Sirius’ head in a poof of white. The studio went silent. With a cough, a bit of flour puffed from Sirius’ mouth. “Cap?” Kasey ventured.

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

“Mhmm.” He slowly took a towel off the oven door and wiped his face with it, then whipped around and snapped it at Logan’s thigh—it connected with a sharp sound, followed by a yelp as Logan shoved Leo in front of him as a makeshift shield. “You can’t hide behind him forever!”

“Remember, you only have two hours!” Marlene called as she dodged a patch of flour on the floor. Sirius scowled and put the towel back down on the counter; Logan backed away to his station with a suspicious glare. “Loops, how are you?”

“I’m minding my own business,” he said innocently. “Staying in my lane. Paying no attention to the idiots behind the curtain, if you will.”

“Impressive. What are you making for our wonderful Harzy?”

“Spite cake.”

“What?”

“Spite cake,” he repeated with a shadow of a smile. “It’s carrot cake, but with no special ingredient of love or appreciation, because he knows how much I hate baking and he’s been making fun of me over text all morning.”

Leo frowned. “Weren’t you two bonding over how much you hate carrot cake when we went to lunch yesterday?”

“Hence the name,” Remus said as he pulled a cheese grater out of the lineup.

“And last, but certainly not least, Kasey.” Marlene leaned against the edge of his table. “How’s it going over here?”

“So far, so good.” He eyed his batter and poked one of the lumps with a fork. “Does this look ready to you?”

“Seems a bit wet, to be honest.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Do people put milk in cake batter?” On the other end of the kitchen, Sirius and Leo shared a look.

Marlene patted his arm. “Good luck, Bliz.”

The camera cut for a moment—when it returned, the three bakers on the far end seemed to be even more flustered than before. “You have one hour left!” someone off-screen announced.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Logan held his spatula up. The batter remained stuck to it in a doughy lump. “Is this supposed to happen?”

Leo’s eyes flickered between Sirius, who was clearly shocked into silence, and Logan, who was growing more distressed by the second. “Sure, honey.”

“Baby, it looks like jello,” Remus called as he shook his mixing bowl with a nervous glance to Sirius. “Why does it look like jello?”

“Mon dieu,” Sirius muttered as he crossed the room; the second he looked over Remus’ shoulder, his eyes widened. “How did you…?”

“I don’t know.”

“You put flour in, right?”

“Hey, no helping!” Kasey protested, swatting Sirius on the shoulder with an oven mitt. “We all fail on our own merit here. Tremy’s making concrete, Loops has jello, and I’ve got soup, so you and Knutty can fuck off back to your perfect batter and let us suffer in peace!”

“Jesus, Bliz, did you put water in that?”

“No! I put butter and milk in!”

“Why?”

“Because!”

“One hour left!” Marlene shouted.

“Fuck it, it’s good enough.” Remus grabbed the nearest cake pan and dumped his batter in, then put it in the oven. He turned the heat on and faced the camera guiltily. “Harzy, I know this was meant to spite you, it really was just meant to be a carrot cake. Not…that.”

Logan sprinkled a handful of chocolate sprinkled into his mixing bowl. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he singsonged. “But I know I’m doing it poorly!”

“Oh my god,” Remus said suddenly as he licked some of his batter off his finger. “Oh my—oh my god.”

Kasey looked up from pouring his batter into a pan in mild alarm. “What?”

“Oh my god, that’s terrible. Here, try it.”

Kasey put his cake in the oven before swiping a bit off and tasting it. His whole face scrunched. “What?”

“I know,” Remus laughed, passing the spatula to Logan. “It’s like getting punched with a cinnamon stick.”

“I can feel it in my nose,” Logan coughed. “Here, try mine.”

Leo regarded them with a healthy amount of disbelief. “Why are you all tasting it if you know it’s bad?”

“Because Marlene needs workable content.”

“Do it for the vine.”

“Because I’m a dumbass, rookie.” Kasey lifted the spatula up. “Cap, your fiancé made toxic sludge in cake form. Want some?”

Sirius hesitated, then sighed and headed over. Leo threw his hands in that air. “You, too?”

“What else am I supposed to—” Sirius faltered with a harsh exhale and braced his hands against the counter, licking his lips. “How many eggs did you put in that?”

“Four? Five?”

“How much cinnamon?”

“A teaspoon?”

Sirius took a fortifying breath through his nose. “Teaspoon or tablespoon?”

“Tablespoon,” Kasey answered for him. “Definitely a tablespoon. Try mine.”

“You two are never allowed in a kitchen again,” Sirius said, though he swiped his finger along the inside of Kasey’s bowl and tasted his batter with a grimace. “Ugh. It’s just melted butter.”

“How did you make it taste like salty butter and nothing else?” Logan asked, sounding genuinely interested.

“Well, Tremzy, I put salt and butter in it.”

Leo’s phone timer went off and he opened the oven door; four faces turned toward him in shock as he pulled a golden cake out and checked the center with a toothpick. Logan closed his eyes and bent closer, taking a deep inhale. “I wish the viewers could smell this, because it’s heaven.”

“Can it be my birthday instead?” Kasey asked. “Please?”

“Get back, you hyenas!” Leo whacked him lightly on the hand with a spoon when he reached out to poke the cake. “That oven was 350 degrees!”

Sirius glanced up at the camera. “That’s 177 degrees, for all you smart people out there.”

“Boo, Celsius.” Remus kissed his cheek. “You smell like sugar.”

“How much time do you all have left on your cakes?” Marlene asked from her perch next to the sink.

Logan, Remus, and Kasey shared a look before Logan turned back to her. “I don’t know?”

“You can’t answer that with another question,” she laughed.

“Ten minutes,” he guessed.

“Whenever it starts to smell good,” Remus said. “Though I doubt that’s going to happen.”

Kasey cocked his head and scanned Leo’s cake for a second. “When it starts looking like that.”

“It won’t,” Leo informed him.

“Damn, Knutty, okay.”

Marlene shook her head. “We’re going to cut filming until everyone’s cakes are out of the oven, but in the meantime we’ve got some special messages for our favorite redhead.”

A banner reading Happy Birthday, Finn! appeared on the screen with a burst of confetti before the usual studio replaced it, with its white walls and folding chairs. Dumo crossed one leg over the other with a soft smile. “One thing I admire about Finn is his tenacity. When he wants something, he’ll go for it with his whole heart.”

“I love his humor,” Leo said in the next short video. He was smiling as well, and had a faint blush on his freckled cheeks. “And the way he makes breakfast in the mornings. All the little things he does to make the people he loves happy. And he really does love with his whole heart. There’s no holding back with him.”

“Finn?” Sirius thought for a moment. “He’s a good person. I know that might sound lame, but he’s one of those people that you meet that always makes you feel happy, and confident, and supported. Anyone who meets him should count themselves lucky.”

Logan’s face was filled with nothing but affection. “I love his patience and his kindness. Whether that was helping me work on my English in college, or making the rookies feel welcome, or even the way he talks to complete strangers when they ask for directions on the street. Everything about him is kind.”

“Ah, jeez.” Remus bit his lower lip. “I think—I think what I admire most about Finn is that he never lets anyone else define who he is. He’s comfortable in himself and makes everyone around him feel safe. It’s sappy, but it’s true. He’s one of my best friends and I’m grateful for him every day.”

“He’s one of the most reliable people I’ve ever met,” James said. “Both on and off the ice. He will be there to support his friends in any capacity and I think we all need to be a little more like Finn that way.”

“Great player.” Arthur nodded. “Great player, and an even better teammate. I can put O’Hara anywhere on the ice and he’ll throw everything he’s got into doing his best. I can’t think of a single Lion who doesn’t love being on the same shift as him.”

Talker grinned, leaning back in his chair with a shake of his head. “Finn just loves hockey. He takes it seriously, of course, but he loves being out there with us and I’m always happy when we’re on a line together. He goes out there every night and has a blast. I admire a lot about him, but especially that.”

“It’s hard to pick one specific thing that I admire about him,” Kasey said, shifting in his chair. “He’s Finn. He’s annoying as all hell, and I love him for it. I’m not sure. Can I make a list?”

“Harzy is very cool,” Olli laughed. “Very cool and very fun to be around. He has a quick wit and truly cares about all of us.”

Kuny raised his eyebrows. “What I like about Harzy? Oh, everything. Everything. He is good friend, good teammate, always there when we need him. Good for Tremzy and Knutty, too. He would turn red like fire engine if he heard me. Don’t tell him I say that.”

The video changed to a wide view of the whole team as they waved to the camera. “Happy birthday, Harzy!” they chorused. “Bitch ass moves!”

The kitchen was much cleaner when the video resumed; all the cooking supplies had been taken away, leaving five hockey players with their cakes in front of them. Leo’s cake was a bit lopsided, though the yellow frosting was cheerful and even—next to him, Logan’s cake looked more like a squished loaf of bread. Sirius’ was plain and elegant, while Kasey’s frosting was still dripping as the camera zoomed in on it.

“Wow,” Finn said after a moment of silence from his seat at the main table, where five slices of cake had been placed on small plates with a label for each name. “Just…wow.”

“You can start with whichever one you want,” Marlene told him.

“I think I’ll save Cap and Leo’s for last. Uh, Kase, what happened here?”

Kasey sighed. “I wish I knew.”

Finn gave it a wary look, then took a bite; his chewing slowed to a stop almost immediately and Logan’s shoulders started to shake from his suppressed laughter. “You know it’s burnt on the outside and not cooked on the inside, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Just checking.” With great effort, he swallowed. “Why is it wet?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, man.”

Finn took the next plate, then paused. “Re, I love you, but…”

Remus shook his head. “I know.”

“I’m genuinely afraid to try this.”

“You should be.”

The second it touched his tongue, Finn started laughing. “Jesus, it’s a straight shot of cinnamon. Why is it crunchy?”

“It’s carrot cake!”

“You know I hate carrot cake!”

“Look, I gave it my best shot. It really wasn’t supposed to do…” He gestured at the plate. “That.”

“Lo, baby, please tell me yours is better than the last two.”

Logan thought for a moment. “It was made with love and that’s all that matters.”

Finn took a deep breath before taking a bite. A range of emotions washed over his face—pleasant surprise, then confusion, then horror, and finally disbelief. “I…what?”

“I don’t even know.”

He swallowed, then ate another bite. “Oh, bad idea. This—are there chocolate chips in here? And almonds?”

“Yeah. You like those, right?”

“Usually, yes. It’s kind of got the texture of fruitcake, but—” Finn broke off and picked the slice up, giving it a shake. Not even a crumb fell out of place, and the rest of the boys burst out laughing. “Lo. Logan. Light of my life, what the fuck?”

“Happy birthday?”

“This is the best birthday present ever. Alright, Cap, your turn.” He took a piece of Sirius’ cake and nodded. “Yep, that’s cake.”

Sirius blinked at him. “And?”

Finn shrugged. “It’s cake. Classic flavors, good texture. I like it. Definitely tastes like a cake you would make.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“He’s calling you basic,” Kasey said, patting Sirius’ shoulder sympathetically. “But hey, at least yours was cooked all the way.”

“And now for boyfriend number two,” Finn continued.

Leo rolled his eyes. “Boyfriend number two.”

“Oh, that’s so good,” Finn groaned around a mouthful of cake. His eyebrows pitched. “I love it.”

“What about it?” Marlene prompted.

“For starters, it’s cooked all the way through. The lemon is freakin’ amazing, and the frosting isn’t melting off the sides or anything. I can’t even taste everyone else’s anymore. It’s a helluva cake. Happy birthday to me. Will you make this every day?”

“No,” Leo said, though there was a pleased flush on his face. “But maybe on the weekend.”

Finn scraped the last of the crumbs off his plate. “Alright, everyone, come get a piece of this magic. Thank you for doing this, by the way. I know three of you hate baking.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Logan admitted as he settled himself on one of Finn’s thighs with a slice of his own and kissed his temple. “Sorry for almost poisoning you. Oh, that is tasty.”

“I love you anyway. I think Loops and Bliz were actually the closest to doing that, so you’re all good.” Finn raised his eyebrows and craned his neck over Logan’s shoulder. “Speaking of…”

“Lasagna or chicken piccata?” Remus asked. Sirius took advantage of his moment of distraction by stealing a bite off his plate and received a playful glare in response, though it was soothed by a kiss on his cheek.

“Lasagna, please.”

“Does Friday work?”

Finn gave him a thumbs-up. “Sorry, Harzy,” Kasey said as he carefully got the last bits of frosting off his fork. “I have no marketable skills to apologize with. You don’t want me anywhere near a stove or an oven.”

A gleam lit in Finn’s eye. “Will you get in all your pads and play chicken with Knutty and I?”

“For the twentieth time—”

“It’s my birthday,” he wheedled, pouting his lower lip out with the Bambi eyes turned to full blast.

Kasey sighed. “Fine.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Thanks for joining us for our birthday celebration,” Marlene said with a smile. “The best estimations of these recipes are linked on our website, with a few tweaks to make sure none of your loved ones get food poisoning this August. Have a great day, Lions!”