#and self-loathing

[faelingdraws]

this boy. he’s full of issues.

[slutty-cthulhu]

can confirm

tumblr being all adults nowadays is so funny because my mutuals are either unemployed chainsmokers or Ezra, Bioengineering PHD Candidate at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.

[text id: i am too little, and too much, and never enough.]

[dathen]

Know what absolutely kills me about Wyll is that his mantra is “it’s okay, the only person it’s hurting is me”

He’s forced into selling his soul to save the city: “I can’t regret it, it saved people and the only person it’s hurting is me”

Letting Karlach live knowing it will violate his contract: “The only person it will hurt is me”

Putting himself in danger endlessly so at least the powers he has will go to some use before he’s dragged to hell, knowing it risks him dying young and being trapped there early: “The only person it will hurt is me.”

I know for a fact that if he were given the power to make the decision re: selling his soul again to save his father in act 3, he would do exactly that. The only person it hurts is him, and over and over he’s marked himself an acceptable casualty in any situation.

[itseghost]

very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.

[kaysdenofchaos]

I am an artist

[valtsv]

if you stabbed me and viscous foul-smelling black ichor poured out of the wound like smoke well i wouldn't be pleased about it but i wouldn't be surprised either

[rosarysgarden]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: i have the everlasting tendency to ruin everything i love.]

[feral-ballad]

Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You Were”

[Text ID: “longing / to be anything other than yourself.”]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tevanbuckley]

✦ Y-Y-You threw in with us, no hesitation, and I thought, "Wow. That guy is cool. I like that guy." ✦ With Tommy…I don't know. He's so confident, you know? He's interesting. He has a cleft. ✦ I kind of can't stop thinking about him. ✦

↳ how tommy sees himself vs how buck sees him

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘we were put on this earth desperate, hungry and willing.’

[text id: in a sharp set of knives, i looked for a hand to hold. / i could not stop myself from needing to belong somewhere, even if that somewhere was a burial ground.]

[dainesanddaffodils]

Today’s Good Omens posting is about *spins wheel*

how Crowley’s self-loathing colors the way he sees Aziraphale’s interactions with him and how we should take that negative bias into account

I’m not even gonna talk about the whole final scene/misunderstanding because we’ve all talked about that one by now. Instead I want to talk about Crowley’s description of the 3 reasons Aziraphale calls him:

(Paraphrasing) “you’re bored; you need to tell someone about something clever you did; something’s wrong”

this is a succinct breakdown and it lowkey paints Aziraphale in a bad light; Aziraphale only calls Crowley when it’s beneficial to him; this is a transactional relationship

but like, I think, to some degree, those 3 reasons are simply the only reasons Crowley can actually imagine Aziraphale being interested in talking to him. The last one is a common song and dance between them, sure, but what about the first 2?

Aziraphale calling out of the blue, rambling about how things have been slow and quiet in the neighborhood of late and wanting to take that time to catch up - Crowley can’t fathom ‘Aziraphale missed my voice and wanted to make sure I was doing okay’ and turns it into ‘Aziraphale is just bored obviously’

Aziraphale calling, absolutely giddy, talking a mile a minute about something clever he’s done can’t possibly be ‘I’m the first person he wants to share his victories with, the person whose opinion matters the most to him now and always’ so instead it’s ‘Aziraphale just needed someone to tell this to before he popped’

(There’s an interesting thing implied here as well, which is that it’s Aziraphale calling Crowley regularly and yet we talk about how Aziraphale isn’t taking initiative in the relationship but I digress)

Point is, I think Crowley knows that Aziraphale likes him, it’s part of what makes everything so heartbreaking - the way he ends up being rejected in spite of that - but just like I think he misunderstands Aziraphale’s heaven proposal because he can’t see that Aziraphale thinks he is better than heaven already, he misunderstands any reason Aziraphale would possibly reach out to him as some level of wanting something rather than… just wanting to talk to him. He doesn’t recognize that he is Enough for Aziraphale, no strings or acts of service attached.

We just need one amazing kiss conversation to set this straight

[ineed-to-sleep]

Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops

[giddlygoat]

i’ve seen people draw guck with a scar on his temple from the memory gun. i wanted to adopt that hc asap

[dreamerdrop]

Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.

He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.

And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.

He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.

He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)