#and seeing my friends all being happy in their relationships without having this problem (they've never said they've had these problems)...

[c0ntaminxted]

ok so here's something I've been thinking about all day before I go to bed

I didn't realise that major symptoms of bpd can like..."flare up" depending on long-term situations because like I saw something on instagram where somebody was asking/talking about how symptoms get worse/more noticable if you're in an active relationship (doesn't matter what) and it really got me thinking

I've noticed I've been feeling like. the absolute WORST whenever I've been in an active relationship and my partner doesn't like. talk to me or acknowledge me or anything or they're dull or slow to respond and I feel like shit so I shut myself off because I feel like I'm bothering them and they want nothing to do with me so then the crippling feelings of loneliness start to show and I find myself in a deep dark disgusting hole of depression and I start hating everybody who's done nothing wrong to me because alot of my friends don't talk to me alot outside unless I initiate conversation first so then whenever I see them message me I get really pissed off it wasn't my partner so then I start deleting social apps and stuff but I've noticed that hasn't been happening alot because my current relationship doesn't feel like a . relationship. so I feel a little bit better about being lonely

truly??? no I don't because it seems like all of my friends are getting together with people and being happy and I'm kinda just. there. third wheeling all of the time. and it makes me really sad but it's okay because I think I know what this is now

lowkey this is like the 3rd time I've felt this way about bpd...

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hi, could you please do a Dick Grayson x M!Reader x Wally West? If it's not a bother.

I feel like how close Dick and Wally are, whether it be in animated series or comics, they've always been really close. So I feel like if one of them got a partner, the other would still be around at every turn.

So maybe Dick and Reader are dating, have been for awhile, and they have no problem with Wally thrid wheeling on dates or hanging around their apartment with them. Even, joining in on cuddling with them. But, after awhile Wally gets romantic and sexual feelings for both of them.

TLTR:

Dick and Reader are dating, Wally starts off as the forever 3rd wheel. Then it becomes a polyamory relationship.

If you don't want to because of the ship, then it's okay. You can just have tumblr eat this request.

- Crow

Dick Grayson x Wally West x Male Reader

Headcanons

Birdflash is one of my fave ships, so I was happy to write this. Reader is Hal Jordans sidekick, so lantern reader.

Dick and Wally had been friends longer than you had known the two of them, as they were two of the original sidekicks at the time. But when Hal showed up to the league with you, the youngest lantern in history by his side, you three quickly became close.

It started out as the three of you being similar aged, back when Dick was still Robin and Wally had just started out. Because you three became friends it also wasn’t unusual for you to stay with the bats or the speedsters when Hal had to go off planet on missions you weren’t allowed because of your age.

The experience that made you a lantern was very tough for you as you were still very young at the time, which lead to Dick and Wally being people you could lean on when things got tough, or you got nightmares.

The three of you started cuddling because you all had nightmares or night terrors to some degree, and you all found comfort in one another. It became a system for your guardians to text each other if they couldn’t find you in your rooms, because 99% of time, you were having a sudden sleepover at someone’s place.

Its also around that time you three all start having a crush on each other, of course none of you have any idea the other two feel the same way, and your guardians are all quite entertained by the obvious puppy crushes you guys have on each other.

I could very much imagine Hal teasing you using Dick and Wally during training to break your focus and weaken your structures.

At one point you have to leave earth for a longer mission with the lanterns, meaning you’ll be gone for a few years. Both Dick and Wally are heartbroken, but you guys all promise to stay friends when you get back.

When you come back years later Dick has become Nightwing, and you learned he had and lost a little brother, and that there is a third Robin now. Both of your best friends greet you when you land, and to your surprise Dick grabs onto you and kisses you.

Of course, Wally is heartbroken that he lost his chance with both of you but seeing you two happily dating also makes him happy, plus he doesn’t feel like he’s neglected or forgotten in the friendship.

Your friendship feels like before, though all three of you have grown into men and have all become much more skilled heroes. You still have sleepovers, and cuddle and hold each other. There’s no jealously from Dick or you if either of you are snuggled with Wally, or wearing Wally’s clothes of Wally wearing yours.

Some of your other friends definitely joke that the three of you are in a relationship together and that its not just you and Dick. Wally happily accepts the chronic third wheel disease, though he still yearns for the two of you, and you two feel the same way about the speedster.

You three are always connected at the hip, and if one of you aren’t there, people tend to question what’s wrong, since seeing you three without one of your members is like seeing someone with a missing limb.

Your guardians and friends can all tell the three of you like each other equally, but they also know it isn’t their place to force it, but some of them will drop hints.

More time passes and you and Dick have dated for years, Dicks family has gotten a lot bigger, and you have met Damian, who begrudgingly puts up with you because of how skilled of a fighter you are.

The feelings between all three of you have never dulled, and have probably only gotten stronger or more serious. The three of you act like a married couple, though Wally is still just a third wheel.

Knowing these two it would probably be after almost losing one of you that the confession happens, maybe you and Dick both got really hurt, so Wally has to get you to safety, where he would ramble in a panic about how he can’t lose you two since he loves you both so much.

It would need some clarification what he means by love, since you three tend to be very open with affection to each other, but when he confesses, he’s always been in love with the two of you, he expects backlash.

Instead, he gets relieved sighs from both you and Dick, and before Wally can ask about it, you both take turns kissing him.

After that your relationship becomes official, and no one really notices the difference since you three have always been close and affectionate to one another. Its only when they catch the three of you kissing that it all clicks.

There’s definitely some of your teammates and friends who just roll their eyes and go “fucking finally.” And your guardians just nod and smile and say they have been waiting for this day for years.

Not much about your guy’s relationship really changes since there’s always been a lot of love and communication, so the only difference if you can kiss now and do a lot more personal things.

You most likely already lived together with Dick, so Wally moves in easily since he probably already lived there half the time. So, its very easy, and you guys are just happy you don’t have to keep your crushes hidden anymore.

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Could i request a yandere scenario with yandere bruno, abbacchio or risotto with a reader who had a violent and abusive relationship in the past with a man who still tried to chase after her once she escaped from him thanks to the yanderes. But even after the events, the reader pleads the yanderes to not get involved with this (since she was to worried that this ex lover may do something to the yanderes) and the reader even tries to escape in hopes that it could sabe the yanderes.

Love your works!!

Oooooohhhh interesting.

Yandere Bruno, Abbacchio and Risotto with a darling who's in an abusive relationship.

Warnings: mentions of physical and verbal abuse

Darling was a childhood friend of the respective yandere and now that they've met eachother again Darling wants to befriend them again.

Bruno was so happy to meet darling again after all those years. All seemed fine on their hang outs but slowly he starts to notice oddities. Long clothes in hot weather, bruises and scratches that they'll alway say we're accidents.

He knows they're in a relationship but at the same time he can't help but develop feelings for them.

At one point he looks at their messages when they are away to see messages with their partner. 'You better be home at 5pm' just doesn't rub Bruno the right way.

He decides to finally ask them if they're being abused. They tell him no, everything is fine and he shouldn't worry.

But he does, and starts diving deeper, eventually finding prior police reports indicating such.

He confronts them with the info and offers to help them but they refuse again. They don't want him to get hurt.

Eventually he ends up kidnapping them, it's the safest measure for them to be as far away from them as possible. Soon their phone rings and Bruno answers it without a word before he hears a horrible string of insults and threats directed at darling

"(Y/n) is done with you now" Bruno tells him.

"Who do you think you are?! When I find you I'm going to fucking kill you!" Their partner threatens.

"Really now? I'd like to see you try" Bruno tells him calmly before hanging up the phone and blocking his number.

But that isn't enough to ease darlings worries about them and unfortunately Bruno can't seem to pull the strings to get the bastard locked up.

Darling tries to escape but is caught by Bruno.

"Why would you try to leave" he asks as he sees them already tearing up

"I don't want you to get hurt. This I'm my problem, not yours" they sob. He's touched that they care for him. He hold them tight and assures them that they don't have to go through this alone, they've done enough. He'll help them though this.

If darlings ex does find them he'll use his stand to immediately severe their limbs. He won't kill them but he's sure to get the point across that they can't do shit to him. He's made sure darling can't see what's going on.

"I could do so many horrible things to you but I won't. You know the police have a warrant for your arrest?" He tells them, he'd resorted to planting crime evidence in their home and finally it had paid off.

Darling won't have to worry as their ex is going to be locked up for a very long time.

At first it was a simple bump in but darling insisted they keep in contact. After awhile he grew to appreciate the attention. He lies and tells them that he switched positions in the police force to be a detective, which they are all to happy to hear.

One day he overhears an argument they have on the phone

"He's an old school friend!?"

"God I'm not cheating on you! Just because I'm talking with a man doesn't mean I'm sleeping with him!"

When they hang up they apologize to Abbacchio and explain that their partner is just uncomfortable when it comes to them being around certain people.

It doesn't take long for him to notice other tell tale signs that the relationship isn't healthy.

Darling ends up venting their frustrations about their relationship to him.

"Then why don't you leave them?" He asks them and they clam up.

"It's not that easy to up and leave. Where would I even go?" They ask.

"I can help you" he offers but they refuse and abruptly leave. He tries to reach out to them later but they've cut him off.

That leads him to do the extreme and kidnap them. He decides then to disclose his actual job to them and promises them he can protect them. Perhaps one day when darling goes to grab food they end up face to face with their ex and narrowly escape.

With fear set in they instinctively grab their things and try to leave where they're staying but Abbacchio catches them. Knowing now that their ex is still very much a problem he decides to deal with their ex. Obviously not alone.

His darling didn't realize him at first when they bumped into eachother as he looks very different from when the last met but they hit it off really we'll.

He knew he shouldn't have them in his life due to the risk it would pose but he disregarded it because of his feelings.

However he begins to pick up on the signs that something wasn't right. They assure him they're fine and nothing is going on but he knows better then to just take their words as the truth.

One day he decides to stalk them back to their home and watch using his stand to hide but the moment an altercation starts he immediately makes his presence known and incapacitated their partner. In the heat of the situation darling takes up his offer to stay with him but regrets so after as now he's a direct target of their ex.

Oh but Risotto isn't worried that he's in danger. The only reason he didn't kill their ex was because darling was there. He assures them not to worry about him, he's perfectly capable to defend himself.

Him and darling are out one day when they're stopped in an alley by their ex. Darling runs away and Risotto is quick to stop their ex from chasing. We'll it's unfortunate that darling is gone as now he doesn't have to hold back.

Eventually Risotto will catch up to darling who is a sobbing mess. They're so greatful he's safe and are so sorry for running but he assures them they won't have to worry about their ex. It'll be a long while before they'll be walking (if someone finds the bastards body in time)

[kakerutori]

HEYY YOUR SO PRETTY BTW AND I LOVE YOUR BLOG

the ask :

so, i wanted to get ur opinion on s3 mike. such as, what he was going through and his internalized homophobia. things like that!

maybe some things w/ him and his relationship w/ el too!

THANKS FOR ANSWERING IF U DO ANSWER :D

I’m gonna pretend that I’m fine after weeks of getting flustered just staring at this in my inbox! Thank you, anon!!! 🥺🥺 You’re making me blush! But, uh, anyways! Let’s talk about Mike Wheeler! 💙

I think that Mike in season 3 is the most interesting version of himself in the entire show because of how hidden his story becomes. In all other seasons, Mike cries openly with other people and expresses his sadness and fears over Will and El.

In season 3, though? Besides the finale, the tearful goodbyes narrated by Hopper, we never see Mike truly cry and explicitly talk through why. Sure, it can be pretty readily implied that it’s because of the Byers leaving, but we don’t hear that aloud. We don’t see exactly who’s on Mike’s mind as those cars pull away. We're left with silent and unsure stares, looks of seeming regret or something else unknown.

Season 3 is truly a huge turning point for Mike, he’s losing his girlfriend and arguably his closest friend in the Party, and it's so easily overlooked because it all happens at the very end of the final episode. Whereas El goes through hell and fights to connect to Billy and save her friends, where Max also feels the weight of his loss, where Will gets his heartbreaking scene at Castle Byers - all the Party members who are very linked to Mike get their emotional moments that season, and we know exactly why they cry.

But Mike dances around his emotions all season long. In consulting Lucas to deal with breaking up and making up with El, in trying to tell El that he loves her without ever saying it, in fighting with Will because "it's not [his] fault [Will doesn't] like girls."

Oh, Mike. I really don't think that Mike was out to hurt Will when he said that. Rather, it's a culmination of heteronormativity and the poor relationship that he has with El and trying to compensate for it. I interpret the outburst as him saying, 'it's not my fault that I'm in a relationship and you're not, so you wouldn't get it.' And by extension, Will being in a relationship would require, normatively, being with a girl.

But at the same time, for a jab that deep - I can't help but question more.

Mike could have said, "it's not my fault you don't like anyone!" or "don't bring her into this!" or even as simple as, "you wouldn't understand!" But no. Mike takes the direct train to sexuality station and brings up the fact that El is a girl. So it seems to me that Mike is very likely harboring something in his heart about why El being a girl is important for him to argue.

But we never know for sure. This moment is never addressed again due to the Mind Flayer’s sudden return. And so it’s up to us as the audience to decide what we think of Mike’s statement. And personally, as I’m sure many of you believe, too, I think that Mike is projecting and trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t like girls onto Will, pushing away his problems to someone he trusts who’s more similar to himself than he realizes.

Tied to his inability to say to El’s face that he loves her, to the fact that they've - reportedly from Hopper - kissed all Summer long with no mention of meaningful conversation, to the very surface-level relational mending his makes by calling El’s outfit “cool” and giving her candy, to the very end of the season where Mike once again denies saying that he loved El just before an open-eyed kiss and a face like this:

Mike doesn’t need to say anything about that kiss for me to know that that’s not the reaction of someone who’s perfectly happy to be back together with his ex-girlfriend. So do I wish that we had a moment of vulnerability for Mike where he expressed his heart in season 3? Yes, but his nonverbals spoke volumes.

So, yeah, I think that in season 3, Mike is very much gay, but he he acts cautiously and self-preservingly because trauma is drowning everything out.

And what is this trauma? I know that I’m working backwards, but I need to bring up that Mike was separated from El for so long in the time of season 2, and I think that that makes him so attached to her in season 3. Think about what else he says in that scene when he admits his love: “I love her and I can’t lose her again.”

As sweet as it is to be reunited to El by the end of season 2, it’s not a clean reunion for Mike. He’s in shambles when he learns that Hopper was lying to him and not letting El even tell Mike that she’s okay.

Not to mention that this isn’t his first but second time almost losing her to the monster that season.

Because of this unstable connection, I think that Mike has built a protective relationship with El, one that focuses on keeping her rather than knowing her, and we see how that all unfolds with his superficial “superhero” complex he has of her in season 4. Season 3 was just the beginning.

And so I think that Mike in season 3 stands as a version of himself that’s confused protectiveness with love. Even though he arguably behaves with that same mindset all the time, it’s at its highest during season 3 because of his never-ending insistence to help El even if she’s capable to do things by herself. Mike isn’t just clingy, he’s worried. Worried for her life. There’s no time to worry about where the problems in their relationship arise, there’s only time to fix them and go back to how they were at equilibrium - when things were normal.

Thus, Mike behaves rather stubbornly. He’s insistent and defensive, not letting a single thing slip through the cracks and risk any more hurt. In doing so, his personality is left far under the surface and unexplored. He only acts to stir up emotions rather than reflect on them, because any pausing to think will only confuse him more. He’s looking ahead, looking at the light, holding onto everything good he has with all the propriety of a 13/14-year-old who has a heart bigger than his head.

Simply put, Mike is a bit of an anti-hero this season. And I think that it's because of this that he starts to get most controversial for the audience.

I’m clearly a Mike apologist, but I genuinely don’t think that he’s out to hurt anyone when he argues with others this season. He’s just stubborn and loud about it, which can definitely be to his fault at times. But in the end, when it comes down to who he loves, I think that season 3 is the era of change, and that ending scene with Hopper’s letter paints the perfect setup for the next seasons to reveal that Mike has a lot more going on under the surface that’s causing all of this. Maybe some regrets, things he wishes he could “turn back the clock” on, regarding, say, Will and El and how he treats them platonically and romantically? Just a thought.

The question of the day for Mike in season 3 stands: is he being selfish or selfless? And I think that it’s a mix of both, blended in with some heavy confusion due to role changing (not needing to protect El) and uncertain affections (not knowing how to figure out what he has with Will).

So, yeah. All in all, I think that Mike is really closeted in season 3 and doesn’t realize it until the final episode, and I honestly love him for it. As someone who’s gone through similar hurdles of internalized homophobia as a teen, it’s really heartwarming to see him grow and figure things out, even if the journey is far from perfect. It’s a humble origin story. And if he somehow ends up being straight and Byler isn’t endgame, well. I’ll be upset at the writers, but the impact still stands.

[wenellyb]

Took a screenshot this because I'm still debating whether or not I'll block this Anon.

First things first, if you need to start by saying you need to start by saying you "mean this super kindly" what you're about to say isn't kind.

I'm happy you think that they've already adressed Sambucky as platonic. I just don't see things that way. To me the "I love you Buddy" can as a Bucky having a crush on Sam. Typical best friends to lovers storyline in a comedy. It didn't scream:" there's nothing romantic between them". That's I how see it but I get that some people see it as platonic.

That's why in my post, I said that we'll know more in Thunderbolts because at some point they'll have to adress Sam and Bucky's relationship upfront.

I don't understand the point of your ask: you're afraid of "me setting up myself up to crash and burn"? Projection much? If you couldn't handle it if your ship wasn't canon, and you would crash and burn if it didn't, that's a you problem, please don't project your behavior on me when you don't even know me.

You guys do realize this is a ship right? It's all fiction, it's ok to have different opinions, what's not ok is coming into someone's asks box being all condescending and trying to ruin their joy.

Obviously, I would be very happy if Sam and Bucky were a thing officially but I'll also be fine if they're not.

"This is Disney we're talking about"... isn't a real argument imo, just because something has been done a certain way for a long time doesn't mean I'll keep happening forever.

Literally, an interracial Queer male couple in a Marvel movie.

Also, what does this all have to do with queerbaiting? I think some people use this word without knowing the meaning of it.

TL:DR: Why did you even send me this?

I open my asks because some people are too shy to post their comments and their rants and I love discussing shows and debating, even when we don't agree but this asks is not it.

[nyan-tame]

WAKE UP ITS 4 AM IT'S TIME 4 II ACT 3 THEORIES

AND HEADCANONS (with angst)

Im 100% willing 2 bet that these will NOT b real take these theories, predictions, and headcanons with a grain of salt 😭😭😭

ANYWAY

TRIGGER WARNING 4 MENTION OF EATING DISORDERS AND GENDER DYSPHORIA

(ITS ALL IN THE PARAGRAPHS ABT MEPHONE BTW SO U CAN SKIP THAT BUT THERES STILL ANGST)

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

mephone will join the shimmers/mephone was masking their shimmer half for years

The shimmers will continue 2 search 4 their lost young and realize that mephone is the 2nd lost shimmer (as revealed last episode) upon realizing this they will get emotional and also apologize 4 what he's been through (even if it's not actually their fault they just really feel bad 4 their child) and take them in to give them the childhood they deserved. This theory ties in with some headcanons i also have.... So cobs says in a flashback (episode 13, i think) that he has no need 2 eat cause he's a machine, right? Well, not exactly, just something along those lines. That's not the case. They're half organic because they are half shimmer. They actually do need 2 eat, but cobs has literally been starving them constantly, thinking that being mostly machine means they'll never be hungry. This is part of the reason mephone thinks they're a "fat slob" and even jokes abt it 2 himself around others but thats just not the case, they quite literally are just fucking hungry. Yes, i think mephone might have an eating disorder. Speaking of shimmers, you know how the other baby shimmer, the green one, was nonbinary implying that the shimmers are a naturally genderless species? I think mephone may also be nonbinary. My evidence? Paintbrush. I think Paintbrush was made as genderless the way they were in season one because cobs thought mephone being nonbinary was like stupid and wrong or something. Mephone projects their grief into humor as their main coping mechanism. Thus, Paintbrush's gender was seen as nothing but a joke 4 a really long time similarly 2 how tissues suffering all the time is seen as a joke and gets no help by his peers which may represent how mephone never got help woth anything even when they really needed it. Paintbrush eventually coming out made mephone feel much safer, something they dont usually feel.. but not safe enough.

The contestants who died by mephone x will get recovered but they won't be completely intact

I highly doubt that everyone is going 2 die permanently. That is not in the nature of inanimate insanity. However, the show LOVESSS 2 make its fandom miserable, so these fellas will not get removed from melife without consequences. The Xed contestants may experience memory problems or will go into a full reset. To make things sadder, I feel like their brains would subconsciously remember the people they had good relationships with even though they themselves don't actually know they've met before. In other words, if anyone sees anyone they had good relations with in a past life, they will subconsciously feel comforted by their presence. Though if these fella do have all their memories intact someone like lightbulb or cheesy will trick a buddy of their into thinking they forgot everything 2 make their friends panic a little just 2 go finger guns at them like "haha got ya" making the audience freak out 4 a moment 2. Who knows, maybe our cast brought someone back wrong, and they did forget everything...

Cobs will DEFINITELY DIE

A while ago on youtube, i think either Brian or Justin made a community tab poll on how many characters would die, 2 being the most popular vote. Literally Mephone wont have a happy ending if that mother fucker doesn't die. I also think the shimmers might kill him last second. But wait! There's another character who is supposed 2 die! I think that's bow, "but Nyan bow is already dead!!" Is what u might b thinking.. and ur PROBABLY RIGHT!!! i accidentally got spoilers 4 only ONE of the permanent deaths (DONT WORRY, NO SPOILERS, YOU JUST GET A LITTLE NUDGE, THE DEATH SPOILER WAS A CONTESTANT) If im still dead set on the fact that cobs will die, it can't be 2 contestants.. at least in my head. Bow, being a ghost and already dead, knows what it's like being dead and won't mind sacrificing herself 4 her friends. Now she can go on 2 the next stage of her afterlife!

ANYWAYSSS THATS ALL BYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYE!!!

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

[morethanmeetstheass]

Tell us the “sob story” 8O

lol im gonna put this under a cut so its not massive, but here u go, sob story!

so i think i mentioned that my former apartment got lit on fire, so i had to move to a new place because i was too fuckin scared to live in that place anymore. upside, the guy who blew up my furnace got fired, so W

lived in apartment 2 for a while, it was pretty good, but extremely lonely! i had no local friends At All and like, exactly 1 online friend, so i was wallowing in a sea of loneliness for like, a solid year and a half living there. woe is me, whatever. eventually decided fuck this place, i wanna move back to new york-- i went to uni there, i was born there, i loved it there so i wanted to go back. bought a house, WHEEE-- THAT was a hell of a nightmare, house had code violations, contract was a mess, it was a whole stressful thing. but we got it settled. i have a house now! so that's cool!

but it's also not! because i had a friend/situationship i guess? in new york and i invited them to live with me bc they needed somewhere to live, i'd feel more comfortable having a roommate bc im still afraid to cook and use heat or anything, it was a win win. we went on a few dates back in like, 2020, and i was like, we'll see where things go romantically! without really any expectations of whether we'd get together or not, since ive changed a LOT since 2020 and i really didnt know them all that well. but hey, potential partner! we'll call them jill.

wrench got thrown in THAT when i met a guy, oops! started modding for a pretty big youtuber who's also become one of my best friends, and met a wonderful guy. we very much fell for each other and are now dating. we'll call him levi. told jill hey, i met someone, so suna x jill isnt gonna happen. that didnt go well! jill was apparently much more under the impression that we were gonna date than i was, and was/is very heartbroken about it. whoops! so now i live with someone who is currently still in love with me, while dating someone else! yikes!

which would be fine if there wasnt also a shitload of drama about jill cleaning up their stuff! they've been here for almost 5 months and ive had to ask them dozens of times to please get their huge piles of stuff out of the middle of the floor bc i needed paths for the movers to get their stuff in, i need to unpack my own stuff, etc. they got so upset about me asking them to do this (bear in mind, literally the entire living room was full of stuff FLOOR TO CEILING, and i've given them plenty of warning on dates i was coming to renovate/paint/when my move-in date was) that they threatened to move out and i was like? ok? then move out LMAO. also their cat injured one of my cats and ripped a hole in his ear!

so yes, a lot of unnecessary stress and drama on top of already dealing with all the shit involved with interstate moving, new finances, job changes, relationship changes, all that. the upside being, im very very very happy with levi, im starting to feel settled in my new house, things at my job have calmed down, and things are overall pretty okay. im aware that im extremely privileged to be able to own a house (granted, in an area with a very low cost of living-- the house was like 150k which is actually a semi-sane house price, compared to my friends with 700k homes and stuff LOL) and that my problems arent really all that bad, but topped with the dystopian state of the world right now and the existential dread ive had for months because of it, its just Not been a good time in the suna world. but its ok. things are calming, im making the best of it, and we'll see how things go from here!

[itsclydebitches]

Can someone ezblain why we had that whole roy vs jamie over keeley fight revived? I was happy that they were being friends. Then they went to keeley's house and wer liek you pick and I was so sure she was going to be like why not both? I was on that train. Her canon reaction made sense but then made ask why bring it up at all? They were doing fine. Their relationship grew beyond fighting over a girl, after what they went thru togtherr? Idk

I really wish I could explain it, anon. Personally, I think the problem started an episode before when they suddenly introduced the "I don't want to just be friends" conflict when, from where I was standing, Roy and Keeley had already gotten back together, concluding the journey we've known they were on since the start of Season One. Keeley starts falling for Roy, they date, have some struggles, overcome them, and presumably conclude the series as an item, demonstrating that Keeley can be a strong, independent boss while also indulging in the romance she's been interested in since her introduction.

But then, suddenly, their night together + Rebecca's realization doesn't mean they're dating again. Okay, weird to introduce that in the literal final hour, but I guess they wanted one last conflict for the finale. I got ohhhhh so excited when Roy admitted to being anxious about "stuff" because what could that possibly be except him grappling with feelings for Jamie too? He and Keeley JUST slept together, he JUST wrote her a love confession, he JUST said overtly and without reservations that he wants more than friendship, so there's nothing Keeley-only related that he'd be this nervous about. It's got to be the poly plot-line that's been happening in the background. This is why everyone looks to Jamie during Colin's coming out scene. This is how we confirm Beard's reminder that there are more queer people in the room. This is why we see Jamie's bedroom with a sexualized Keeley AND a poster of Roy right beside it, positioning them as equals. This is why we got moments like Jamie attending Roy's uncle party because yeah, they haven't just become friends, they've become intimately close. Holy shit, Ted Lasso's actually gonna do it!

So I went into the bar scene not liking the regression to jealousy -- and I hated that Jamie used the video to try and one-up Roy, especially after all the good work the writing did with that: having him apologize and keeping that information from Roy when it was none of his business -- but I figured this was just the messy way the story was getting us to that poly ending. They need to act in the traditional Manly Fashion over the girl, going so far as to demand that Keeley choose one of them, in order to access the opportunity for her to say (and I could hear it so clearly in her voice): "Why should I choose just one?" The lead-up to this could have definitely been done better, I thought, watching the three of them sit down at the table, Like, I hate that we're suddenly regressing to set this up, it's stupid, but a canonical poly ending will be worth some missteps. Hell, I'll forgive a LOT here because we almost NEVER get that representation and in a show this popular? Hot damn, that's amazing.

And then Keeley just kicked them both out.

Thank god she remained single, like she always should have been. Strong and independent! I've seen a lot of fans say post-finale and I'm just in my corner going wait, I'm happy for you, truly I am, but I'm asking in the nicest way possible if we watched the same show?? The one where Keeley has ALWAYS wanted a romance? How she's an amazing character in part BECAUSE the writing allowed her to love romance and sex and being a badass boss? Where she and Roy were set up to be the True Love story from the very start? How a Keeley/Roy/Jamie story has been happening subtly in the background, now primed to become canon in the season largely focused on queer identities? How Keeley did not need to be the narrowly defined strong, independent, single woman when Rebecca Fucking Welton was right there, loving her life post-divorce, and instead the story decided to give her a man and a little girl at the last possible second?

They'll at least address that and have Keeley announce her intentions to stay single for a time after that mess with Jack, as a way of wrapping up her story, I thought and then that never happened.

They'll at least address Jamie and Roy's lingering feelings for Keeley because surely, after that bar confrontation, resulting in an actual FIGHT, they won't just shrug this off over some kebabs, I thought and then that never happened.

Well, it sucks that we didn't get a poly couple, but I suppose it was always a long shot--

[Dani slams in with two model women we know nothing about, just literal arm candy at a wedding where Beard marries his abuser that, intentionally or not, is kinda framed as a dream and wait wait wait THAT'S the canonical poly rep we're ending on??]

I've seen a couple people say that they enjoy the finale more after a re-watch and hell yeah. More power to you. Wish that were me. Unfortunately, outside the stuff I liked right at the start, I've enjoyed the finale less and less the more I've returned to it. So much just feels like it came out of nowhere, regressed the characters, contradicted long-term setups, and generally left me feeling disappointed about things they I believe we had good reason to expect from the show. These weren't things we simply hoped for and thus fans are in need of a reminder that this is not their story. This was stuff Ted Lasso textually and thematically implied... and when you're the feel good show of the quarantine era, pulling back from those implied promises feels even worse. The long-running couple break up in the most confusing, backsliding way possible. The last episode cruelly teases one of the most popular ships. Nate's entire redemption arc was rushed/had key moments pushed off-screen, giving him almost no time to re-connect with Ted. The established abuse plot-line is played straight at the end. Ted goes back to Kansas and, according to the montage, full-on abandons his found family in the name of doing right by Henry -- a level of sacrifice I don't think this kid needs or, if given the chance to have a say in all this, would necessarily even want.

Idk, there were a LOT of fantastic moments (the sign reveal makes me SCREAM!!!!!) but overall the bones of the finale left me feeling sad. The Roy/Keeley/Jamie situation is pretty reflective of that feeling.

[figs-and-cigs]

Went to a kink event last week and ended up meeting a cute couple. Turned out they were there for the tea and know nothing about kink! Introduced them to friends, one of which was a DM for the night. Friendly conversation ensues. They just moved here, they've been trying to make friends. We exchanged socials.

On the way home I'm scrolling through and say to my husband, "oh, they're totally monogamous. It sounded like they might be fairly vanilla too." Which isn't a problem, we can always use more friends. Not every event we go to is spicy.

Week later on Saturday night they message asking if we have plans. So we invite them to our usual tea place. On the fly I also in the poly chat we'd be there for the night. Open invite, see who shows up.

Well, the guy I've been casually dating for 3 years is in town, he showed up. A casual play partner showed up. The girl I dated a few years ago showed up. Not a big deal, we all hang out at the weekly poly meet up. But I can't say I've been in a situation where it's almost exclusively all people I've slept with. I wasn't entirely sure how the dynamic would play out.

Suddenly I realized I just kissed hello to two men, who aren't my husband, in front of this monogamous couple we were recently acquainted with! I'm not the most outgoing person in the planet, I have social anxiety. Which also means I tend to be hyper vigilant about making good impressions and wanting everyone around me to feel comfortable and be happy. Not that that's something I have much control over.

All went well, over the hours conversation flowed and eventually the ice was broken about us being polyamorous. They already knew we were kinky. After everyone left but the four of us we discovered the couple actually are interested in kink and trying to figure out how to get started.

While insisting on exclusivity in their relationship discussion about old relationship traumas came up. Fears, jealousy, a need for security. I'd like to think my husband and I were able to shine a light on the fact that poly isn't the absence of those things but often a way to embrace and work through them.

I just have to say how grateful I am for my community. It wouldn't have been easy to navigate this stuff without people to offer their experiences or guidance. That when meeting new baby Kinksters we are able to direct them to safe places to meet people, and start their journey. We know couples who hold intimacy events, and other classes. We know places that cater to kink, some involving sex some just for play. While we can answer questions and share our experiences we can also share resources and introduce them to more people.

We messaged a bit the following day and I sent them some links to events. I'll also say it's exciting to hopefully see how things may evolve. I love watching newbies grow, discover their interests, and gain confidence. I hope they have positive experiences moving forward and happy to have made new friends.

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

Idk if you’ve already made a list or whatnot but do you have like a top 10 fav ships? From any media or anything, like all time

I'm always happy to blabber about former/current hyperfixations so this question is perfect. This is in no particular order except for the first one, they will always be my #1:

kyoru (Kyo Sohma/Tohru Honda) from Fruits Basket: The 👏🏻 ship 👏🏻 ever 👏🏻 They invented love, their relationship has the perfect development and resolution, they truly love and understand each other and have such amazing character arcs both individually and together. Kyo's realization that he loves Tohru is my favorite episode in the entire show and it's constantly on repeat in the back of my mind: "She didn't erase all my pain or offer to solve all my problems. She didn't fix what was broken, but that's not what I needed anyway. What mattered most was that she stayed."

hualian (Hua Cheng/Xie Lian) from TGCF: Another couple that invented love. I sprinted through these books while season 2 was being animated and the absolute faith and trust those two have in each other is unparalleled. "What matters is you, not the state of you" has been imprinted on my brain. I cried so many times while reading these books, they were amazing, definitely one of my favorite stories ever.

mikayuu (Mika/Yuu Hyakuya) from Seraph of the End: These boys... I'm still actively reading the chapters from this manga despite having no fuckin clue what's going on with the plot all because I'm so invested in these boys. Devoted to each other since they were kids, the epitome of "I'd burn down the world to save you". Everything they do is for each other, they are always each other's first choice in everything. And we got a canon confession which is insane to me. I'll never be over them.

satosugu (Gojo Satoru/Geto Suguru) from JJK: Probably the ship that makes me the most emotional in the worst way. I'm a sucker for a good tragedy and those two fit the mold perfectly. The absolute love they have for each other even after they've split makes me so emotional. If you don't see their relationship as romantic idk what to tell you, you're just blind. Jjk 0 and the Gojo being sealed are two scenes that fuck me up each time without fail. I could rave about them for hours.

itafushi (Itadori Yuuji/Fushiguro Megumi) from JJK: The boys I'm best known for. Now, I enjoyed them as a ship from the beginning but it wasn't a true "they're everything to me" until the Itadori Extermination Arc. Yuuji's "you'll only be hurt if you're with me" and Megumi's "start by saving me" had me GAGGED. That's when I really started to pay attention and went back and became extremely invested instead of a casual enjoyer. They've always done their best to watch each other's backs and stick together. 216 fucked me up SO BAD, and everything Yuuji has done since them is to try and get Megumi back. They love each other so much, they are the parallel to stsg that will make it. I don't know how anyone can read the manga and not see how much they love each other.

bellarke (Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin) from The 100: This was my SHIP back in high school. I was obsessed with The 100 back in the day and these two were everything to me. Enemies to friends to lovers is my favorite dynamic, and these two fit that bill perfectly. Everything about their relationship was so perfectly set up for them to be endgame and yet the writing for the last few seasons was SO FUCKING BAD that I couldn't even watch the last season. From what I hear, they totally switched up Bellamy's character and he switched up on Clarke so quickly when he's always been her #1 supporter after they became friends. Their friendship was my favorite thing about the show, they truly were each other's right-hand man and constantly looked out for each other. Still pissed about what we could have had.

akiangel (Aki Haykawa/Angel Devil) from Chainsaw Man: Another tragic ship. I cannot wait to see these two animated together. I binge read all of Chainsaw Man (which was like 98 chapters at the time?) in two days and it rewired my brain. The staunch hatred/dislike of each other's kind out of principle to slowly realizing that they actually do care about each other was so good. They have such a subtle chemistry and relationship, it was one of my favorites in the series. Aki reaching out a hand to save Angel and them holding onto each other during the Bomb Girl Arc is probably my favorite scene in the entire manga, I can't wait for them to get their flowers once it's animated.

tododeku (Shouto Todoroki/Izuku Midoriya) from MHA: Narrative foils. What more can I say. These two have so many parallels in their arcs and have such a great relationship. Idk how this ship isn't more popular with how healthy their relationship is and how it started off with such strife. Deku also means so much to Todoroki and you can see that throughout the entire series that their friendship means the world to him. They give each other such a good support system, I adore them.

bokuaka (Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji) from Haikyuu: Simp behavior, the both of them. You don't really see it initially, but these two are obsessed with each other. The Fukurodani v Mujinazaka game was so incredible for diving into their characters and relationship more! Finding out that Akaashi only came to Fukurodani because he saw a cute jock play ONE game was so funny because you don't expect him to be a love at first sight character in the slightest. He and Bokuto work so well together, they balance each other out and understand each other on such a deep level, you can't convince me they aren't in love. They bring out the best in each other and know how to get the other out of their head.

zelink (Princess Zelda/Link) from Legend of Zelda: This is specifically going to be focused on botw/totk zelink because those are the games where their relationship is explored the most, but MY GOD. Those two make me weak. Link is just this autistic/selectively mute dude who's just trying to do his job and Zelda is so jealous of his freedom and ease of being able to do his assigned role without trouble that seeing the development of their friendship/relationship through the memories was my favorite part of the game. Their bond is so strong, they truly become each other's biggest link in the chain of their support system. Totk in particular made me cry multiple times because of the tragedy of realizing what happened to Zelda that imagining what Link must be feeling upon the discovery fucks me up. They never stop fighting to protect each other and never lose faith in each other.

[readingtoinfinity]

Arcane updated thoughts

Spoilers for the end of season 2! I won't discuss much more than vaguely but you've been warned.

I've been seeing a criticism a lot of the end of the show, specifically that the conflict between Zaun and Piltover isn't resolved by the conclusion of the show, beyond Sevika getting a seat on the council.

And I had to think about it for a bit; I thought there was something missing in the finale and couldn't think of what, but that criticism put into words what I'd been thinking about.

There's two ways I can think of this: the show failed and did a bad job, or we're supposed to look at the events and themes and draw our own conclusions. For the benefit of the doubt (and to have something to think about in the shower) I went with the second thought. And I think I did come up with something.

Season 2, episode 7 is one of if not the best episode in the show, detailing what happens to Jayce, Ekko and Heimerdinger when they vanished from the Hextech tower. Jayce goes through his own Elden Ring/Dark Souls experience and Jayce and Heimerdinger get to experience a better timeline where Hextech doesn't exist and everything has improved.

And I stuck on this. A lot of the problems between Zaun and Piltover existed prior to Hextech but were made worse by it. The first Zaun rebellion happened and was put down with the original technology, and in the better timeline these feelings wouldn't have gone away, either. Silco and Vander's breakup also happened, but in the better timeline they've patched things up to become friends again.

That's interesting. That things improve so much in six or seven years after alt!Vi dies. As if the show is telling us "Without Hextech things would have gotten better", to the point that the bridge becomes a market when it was a boundary in the original timeline.

We can see this bear out in the show: Ambessa only came to Piltover because they had tech she wanted. The Gray was a by-product of Hextech. The wealth that Hextech brought went only to the wealthy and made them rely less on Zaun for labor. I think episode 7 wasn't just a look back at how things could have been, it was a glance forward at how things will be.

Finally, two themes about the show stick out: trusting again despite past experiences and preventing things from getting worse. A lot of season 1 is about scrambling to keep things steady so they can be improved, but outside forces (mostly Ambessa, TBH) stirring the pot and making things worse. And the resolution of the show is about reaching out your hand one last time, to risk being hurt to help an old friend.

I think a lot of this could have been said explicitly. Maybe an epilogue where we show work being done to improve the two cities' relationship. We know there'll be a bond of comradery that wasn't there before, because they all fought together against Ambessa's forces, and that the Enforcer population has dwindled and the wealthy have lost their cash cow with Hextech that means the labor of Zaun will become more valuable, which will give them a bargaining chip, and Sevika has a seat at the table to entreat as their voice. The pieces are there, but the finale didn't weave them together.

But ultimately, I think this criticism isn't fully-fleshed out. The show told us numerous times that, if you only reach out your hand and work with somebody, things can only get better. It's not explicitly hopeful or happy, but it could be.

I may end up changing my mind on this. I dunno; I'm very emotional about the show and I'm still in the defensive stage over it. But I do appreciate seeing the original criticism and giving it a mulling-over; it allows me to think more about one of my favorite shows of the past few years.

[littlespoonevan]

Ciara!! you are so real for that tag 'i just wanna be hELD' like???? relationships were never a necessity in my life,,hell,,im 28 and like never had one actually and it never truly bothered til this year. I feel embarrassed for not having anyone in my life ever and start to think that maybe I have some kind of a problem? because yes I haven't actively searching for it but also nobody offered anything? showed any interest?idk? and these days all I want is just to be held. I wanna come to a home where im 100% me. I'm sorry dumbing this on you I am thinking about it a lot these days and seeing your post and tags was like universe screaming at me or sth

oh bud, you are absolutely not dumping this on me!!! i'm nodding along vigorously with everything you're saying!!!!

i've been in one relationship (which was bad for So many reasons and certainly was not romantically fulfilling in any way) and i've dated a little but the true, genuine affection that comes with being loved by someone is just......not something i've ever experienced lol.

and i think when talking about it online a lot of the time the legitimate reasons some people have for wanting to be in a relationship sort of get brushed off in a 'you don't need a relationship to be happy!!!! romantic love isn't everything!!!! be proud to be alone!!!!' kind of way. and i mean. like you said, i'm fine on my own generally. it doesn't bother me. and i don't need a relationship to be happy.

but also. i'm still allowed to want one?????? why shouldn't we get to fall in love, u know??? or find that happiness and love and affection with somebody????? why should i have to settle for being alone when most of the world isn't????

and y'know, re the age thing, i think it's a vicious cycle bc the older you get, the more it maybe feels embarrassing to reveal your lack of experience with relationships so it can make you back out of dating someone before things get serious but then that just means going Even Longer without having those experiences askjdfh i have yet to work through that issue myself lol

also. i know dating apps have been very helpful in one way but in another i feel like they have rUINED dating culture bc it feels like now you do have to be actively looking in order to date anyone. (i am so firmly against the whole 'it'll happen when you least expect it' thing that is highkey not true anymore askjdfh) but my experience of those apps is just everything feeling so formulaic and like you're ticking boxes of the same basic conversation you have with multiple different people while also swiping past people you could potentially really like bc all you're seeing is a few pics and whatever info they've decided to reveal in their bio (which is usually extremely limited). and in general, i think they really don't benefit people who prefer knowing someone in person/being friends first before dating (like me)

but yeah tl;dr. it's really hard sometimes, when i've had a bad day or i'm stressed, to know if one of my friends felt like that they can go home to partners who'll hold them and comfort them and make their day better without having to be asked. and i just....go home, pick myself back up, and carry on. it would just be nice to not have to deal with everything on my own, y'know?????

relationships certainly aren't everything and not all of them are good but also i would like someone to take care of me now, thanks 🥺

[ihopethisendswell]

Uuuuuh you know what, mini bios time.

Zara

16

She/They ( demi girl)

Witch/Magi* ( in training)

Aroace

^ in my head, she hasn't fully realized this yet.

Kinda a grump, keeps to herself most times, but is also a little gremlin.

Always wears a witch hat bc she thinks it looks cool + it holds her stuff ( like her baseball bat)

^ has a baseball bat. No she does not play baseball ( I think she would like it tho)

Wants to learn fireball but it's HARD ( she has a natural affinity to plant n death magic than anything else)

Sees that Bo is tired and tries her best to not cause many problems for him.

Molly

16

She/Her ( cis)

Half - Vampire

Pan

Knew Zara ever since they were babies

Very bubbly and sweet. Very popular at school.

As a half vampire she doesn't need to rely on blood as much as her dad, but does enjoy blood based smoothies.

Doesn't like transforming into her more monstrous bat form cause she thinks she looks ugly :(

( currently) has a Interest in photography!

Grace

16

She/Her ( trans)

Werewolf

Lesbian

Childhood friends with Zara and Molly, though she came a little later.

Number 1 Instigator and Enabler

Still the most level headed of the three. She just likes to have her fun.

Is the class president. Has dreams of actually being someone that can cause change in the world. ( She doesn't want to be an actual president tho)

Is the oldest of 4-5( still figuring it out). Really good big sis, love her sibs ( all of them are adopted btw and are different types of supernatural)

Bo

25

He/Him ( trans)

Null*

Gay

90% of the shit Zara likes is bc of him. Unfortunately that also includes her desire to cast fireball. Minecraft.

Works a shit ton of jobs since their moms are constantly busy with work and thus need to be out of the house. So, essentially, he's Zara's legal guardian.

^ so far I know he works in retail and as a freelance bounty hunter ( being a Null means he doesn't get cursed by cursed items). But he works other jobs too.

T i r e d and incredibly depressed but keeps going for Zara.

Hasn't been in a relationship for years after a very shitty ex. Wants to start again ( with Jarah lmao) but is still nervous.

Genuinely a sweet guy despite his appearance ( tall, muscular, rbf and has tattoos n piercings). He dreams of opening a potion shop, since that's the only way he can do magic without having magic.

Aliyah

25

She/her ( cis)

Human

Bisexual

Has been best friends with Bo since middle school or high school. They've been ride or die ever since.

Number One babysitter when Bo is busy or just needs to fucking crash for the day. She's essentially the girl's big sis.

Family came from a long line of Monster Hunters, but uuuuuuh. Nowadays the supernatural and humans are ( kinda) chill and monster hunting like that is looked down upon. She was still trained to fight but overall she doesn't care.

Is an aspiring journalist, but works at a shitty place. How's bounty hunting with Bo to make sure he doesn't die and relieve stress.

Wants a girlfriend ( or boyfriend) so bad but alas. No luck.

Losing braincells over the bo n jarah thing ( she knows)

Jarah

25

He/Him

WizardWitch/Magi

bisexual

^ I don't think he knows this yet.

A prodigy of magic, was pretty much pushed into magic as soon as his parents realized his potential. He went to an elite school and everything. Pretty much the top of his kind.

He wasn't happy however, no matter how much he tried to convince himself he is. He always loved baking. Meeting Bo and Aliyah actually made him quiet his old job and work at a cafe.

^ his parents were not happy about that. Been strained ever since. Though maybe it was always strained

Constantly has restricted his abilities, out of habit and fear of them. Still offers to teach Zara about magic though.

Feelings for Bo is mutual, but he doesn't realize this for a while. When he does he....kinda panics.

Moving in from that, he loves baking, and is very skilled at mixing magic into it, enchanting flavors and emotions. Everyone loves his sweets :)

*Magi is the general term for magic users in this world. Witch, Wizard, and the like are ultimately just titles, but each has their own history with it.

*A Null is someone who is born with an immunity to magic, but at the cost of not being able to perform it. You cannot become a Null just to be clear. Bo was born as a Null, he never became on, got it? Good.

And yeah that's everything I wanted to share.

[hotforharrison]

I was journaling to get my feelings out when I realized that a lot of the things that have been making me chronically unhappy in my relationship with my husband over the past year or so have all been because of polyamory.

I'm constantly comparing myself to his girlfriend, feeling like I don't measure up and that I'm not good enough. I can't seem to stop.

It's bled heavily into what was our already not the greatest sex life because of hearing her (an issue that comes up again and again) and her...enthusiasm, and also his enthusiasm.

He says we're different and that it isn't a matter of preference over how she is, or any of his partners have been in the past, and how I am. It doesn't feel that way, though.

He wants to have an egalitarian polyamorous relationship with his girlfriend and me, other than in the legal aspects that he and I have shared since well before our relationship became polyamorous (like owning a home together, being married, that sort of stuff).

The egalitarian polyamorous relationship doesn't translate into reality very well, though. She's very clingy and needy, and he won't tell her to back off.

She gets Tuesday and Friday nights with him, after he gets off work. They spend the evening and then night together. I don't bother them, period, and wouldn't unless it was an actual emergency.

He's set aside Wednesday after he gets off work and night for me, which is one day a week compared to her two. I've been willing to accept that, even though it does feel unfair.

She knows it's my night, but she still calls during what's supposed to be our time together. Not because of an emergency or something coming up -- just to chat.

It happens every Wednesday without fail.

What also happens every Wednesday night, without fail, is that he doesn't just tell her he's spending time with me and that he'll talk to her later. They'll chat. Sometimes they'll chat for over half an hour, which he doesn't see a problem with.

Really, he dismisses all of the things she does or downplays them because he's still blinded by what I've heard referred to as "new relationship energy" (NRE) -- that phase where things with someone are new or relatively new, and you see everything relating to them and your relationship through rose colored glasses.

I've heard it usually wears off after about 3 years, and they've been together for 2.

He and I have been together for almost 17.

My "martyr complex" has also been an ongoing problem.

I've spent the past 2 years now sacrificing my own happiness because I want my husband and his girlfriend to be happy, and sometimes those things are mutually exclusive, especially when it comes to his girlfriend.

I did tell my husband, though, in very clear terms that I no longer consider her a friend and have no positive feelings toward her. My civility is fully and entirely for his benefit and because I love him.

My last straw was an unprovoked hateful Facebook comment she made on one of my posts about a month ago. The post was absolutely unrelated to her in any way, and it couldn't be construed as such, so she literally just made the comment to be mean.

I was forced to apologize for something in January that she was partially to blame for as well, but she was not forced to apologize for her comment that was entirely her fault.

The rose colored glasses strike again.

She's the one who's on his mind, too -- the person he tells good morning and good night every single day without fail. He drives a lot for work, and she's the one he talks to on his long drives now.

His high school reunion is later this year. It's in the state next to where my family lives, and we've talked for years now about me attending it with him and him meeting my nieces for the first time. My eldest niece is 13, and he hasn't met her yet.

He brought his reunion up the other night, only his plans have changed. He now wants to go with his girlfriend and for them to attend the reunion together and to meet some of her friends and family in another neighboring state.

I asked about our previous plans, and he acted like that was a conversation we'd never had, even though we'd repeatedly had it.

It was honestly rather heartbreaking to be replaced like that.

None of these problems would exist in a monogamous relationship.

I did discuss my feelings with him as calmly as I could, just to let him know where I was in my head, and we agreed that I'd talk about it with my counselor, figure out how I want to proceed.

He said he'd support me either way, that I do deserve to be happy, too, and shouldn't stay in a relationship that is just going to make me unhappy.

He would like for us to work things out ideally, but he understands that might not be possible, and he wants us to stay on good terms instead of either one of us developing animosity and resentment toward the other.

I'm grateful for that at least.

[merrilark]

Huh. Well, that was???

That was an episode lol

????

Not much of the way of spoilers below, but it is critique of the show so far. Prefacing by saying I am having a lot of fun and I'm enjoying Fifteen and adoring Ruby, but there is a lot of Critique™ all the same.

I'm just gonna do these in bullets bc that's easier.

Struggling to feel connected with the stories because I don't feel that it's letting us connect (Christmas Special and, imo, "Space Babies" aside), and I think that's because it feels like we've jumped into the middle of Ruby and Fifteen's relationship. Ruby keeps saying stuff that implies they've been traveling together MUCH longer than 6 episodes and they behave like they're best buddies, ride or die, and it doesn't totally feel earned?

Fifteen is lovely and undoubtedly The Doctor, but also he's just a bit too polished for my taste. I have to agree with a friend who said he's a little too much like a cool, popular kid, and lacks that slightly weird alien eccentricity.

I also miss the Doctor discovering himself. I enjoy Fourteen a lot and, some nitpicks aside, I think it was a fun way to bring Tennant back. But it also feels like Fourteen was a simple cop-out for getting to see more of Fifteen's growth. Instead he already feels fully formed and like he's ditched all the previous regenerations' baggage. I don't think it is quite that easy, mind, I think "Space Babies" implies that he's actually not as okay as he seems, but it still feels like an easy way out of him working through a lot of stuff.

Slightly related but Ruby upstages the Doctor by miles imo and has since after the Christmas Special. I'm not complaining, I just think it's interesting that this is the first time when I've watched the companion MUCH more than the Doctor.

Gosh, everything really is just very on the nose, isn't it? I suppose DW always could be a little hamfisted, but points whether it's messages or plot explanations feel very spoon-fed at times, and some of that spoon-feeding feels a little forced with not a lot of purpose.

Particularly, I'm talking about the "Finetime is racist" bit in the latest episode. I'm happy to see that others are happy with it and glad it exists, and maybe I'm just missing it because I'm not POC, but it felt like such a random point to make at the end without much narrative purpose because it happens literally right at the end and doesn't actually deal with it beyond "Finetime is racist to the point of being willing to die over it, Doctor is shocked bc this is a new experience for him". Maybe this revelation will crop up again and he'll have to deal with it more meaningfully in another episode but as it stands, I just thought it was a nice point to make but the execution felt empty. I hesitate to say "pandering" because I do think the writing is earnest and trying to be honest, but without giving it room for substance, it feels tacked on as an afterthought.

Which unfortunately I think is a problem with a lot of these episodes—they, or maybe just the Doctor—often feel empty. I can't quite place why. The heart is sometimes there, and it's often trying very very very hard to be there, but something about it just keeps whiffing the mark for me.

In general, I'm not super digging the magic angle. I understand why it's there (thanks, Fourteen) and it's fine but it's also not really my cup of tea.

I dunno. I am enjoying myself and it's nice to get excited again about Doctor Who, but I keep wishing for more than what it's giving. I'd say I'm getting too old but I'm still a massive kid at heart so I'm inclined to believe it really is just a writing and pacing issue.

Anyone else feel this way? I feel like I'm being a bit of a Negative Nancy.

[maya-matlin]

Your metas are phenomenal! I realized while reading your take on Barchie that even though I'm with you on shipping Brucas and Bughead, Barchie is for me a worse ship than Leyton. Part of that is no doubt due to the fact that for all of OTH's problems, it's imo not nearly as awful as Riverdale quickly becomes after the first one or two seasons. It's mostly just that there's a lot more to leyton imo. Like you and I might not like them or buy that they have true love or even very good chemistry, but I can at least see why others view their story and see them as in love. But with Barchie it's like you didn't even sell me on them being genuinely close friends let alone in love. As you point out their entire relationship seems rooted in childhood memories, not in any sort of present day friendship and connection. And then they go from literally almost never even having conversations and both of them having years-long relationships with other people they love to being 'friends with benefits' and even then there's no real feeling or substance or connection or anything, you know? I'm not phrasing this well, but I just feel like Barchie is so hollow and empty. I may not personally like Leyton, but I can objectively acknowledge that at least there's something there---Barchie is just kind of total nothingness that the writers 75% into the series started pretending was meaningful. And again your metas are such a gift!

Thanks! I genuinely don't think they're anything special, but I like answering asks LOL

Yeah. My feelings about Leyton vs Barchie are complicated for that reason. The love story between Lucas and Peyton bothers me because in my opinion, there's plenty wrong with it from the beginning. It's based in something that feels very shallow with the narrative claiming there's this deep, intense connection rather than showing it to us. Then when Lucas and Peyton finally do decide to get together, it's behind Brooke's back. Their affair leaves Brooke with a lot of trust issues. And then, Peyton and Lucas have the audacity to stab her in the back a second time, after they've spent the past season and a half claiming they'll never hurt her again and that the circumstances are now different. That being said, the fact Lucas and Peyton's feelings are established as a mutual thing from the very beginning means that when late season 3 and season 4 heads back to LP, it's rooted in something believable. If nothing else, I can appreciate that One Tree Hill properly showed that just because your intentions are supposedly good and what you have is "true love always," that doesn't mean other people's feelings don't matter. A lot of time was devoted to Brooke eventually finding her own "true love" and working past the double betrayal of Lucas and Peyton.

In the case of Barchie, 100%. It really feels like in the beginning, the plan was to move away from the Betty/Archie/Veronica love triangle that had dominated the comics for decades and explore other things. Betty was allowed to want things other than Archie and to have a real, genuine relationship with Jughead where she was both happy and fulfilled without feeling as though she'd missed out on not winning the golden cock, so to speak. Betty and Veronica formed a strong friendship based on more than competing over the same guy. Even Archie seemed to have a strong preference for Veronica over Betty in spite of occasional moments like "a part of me always thought.." at the end of season 1. The writers set up their eventual relationship and cheating in an extremely poorly done way. They even used flashbacks during the big Origin of Love scene, but it only flashed back to the first two episodes of Riverdale and their season 2 kiss because that was the beginning and end of their BA build up. And absolutely! I didn't detect any true fondness or interest in the Betty/Archie relationship during seasons 5 and 6. It felt like they were checking off things on a list. Like, they have to live together, get engaged at some point, become official, say I love you, blah blah blah. It's like, they decided to fulfill every BA's dream and then literally blew up the universe. I honestly think the writers hated their jobs by the end and resented their fans for still caring about the characters and relationships established years before. Still, it's upsetting that Jughead and Veronica weren't allowed to voice the fact that they were hurt over Betty and Archie betraying them. Unlike on One Tree Hill, it was as though they walked on eggshells and went out of their way to ensure nothing was the slightest bit awkward for Betty and Archie (but mostly Archie because Betty at least emotionally suffered for years over what she'd done while Archie didn't seem to have the slightest bit of shame or guilt). As much as I hated seeing Brooke heartbroken and disliked the effect it had on her friendship with Peyton, that's more honest to me that both Veronica and Jughead never properly acknowledging that Archie and Betty had been in the wrong and needed to make amends.