#and sarah does the same to alice
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not to be a chronic lorde listener but ‘no better’ is actually the theme song for swasnwof…. like young sarah, alice, sam & paulie doing crazy shit they know they aren’t supposed to because they’re young and it’s summer and they’re alive and they all four know that none of those things last for people like them……. they’re getting dead and it’s the right way…….. 🫠
#no bc i suddenly truly understand why animes have beach episodes now….#i need these four on the beach of that big ass bay/lake/whatever in lost heaven#and it’s late and dark and it’s too cold to swim but the alcohols made them all warm#and they’re laughing and giggling and paulie picks up sarah just to see how far he can toss her#and sarah does the same to alice#and alice swoons so so hard#and sarah kisses her#and paulie is taken aback bc he thought he and her were kind of getting somewhere#but sam is watching paulie watch sarah who is watching alice#and when they get out of the water paulie gives sarah his suit jacket and sam gives his to alice#since they live in the same house anyway#ok so i see i will have to write this later on#post: personal#post: poetry
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I did a fanart
There's no path of trampled flowers around so I guess they all flew down while in whimsical laying position idk, just don't think about it lol
#cheshire crossing#fanart#Cheshire Crossing fanart#Does Wendy look dramatic?#I tried to make her look sad/not thinking happy thoughts but also in a whimsical victorian girl fairytale aestedic kinda way#and in the Wizard of Oz movie Dorthey lays in a similar position to the one she's in here in a field of flowers#And Alice is supposed to have her Disney-falling-down-the-rabbit-hole silloette#Wendy didn't really lay down in her story I don't think#at least not that i can remember#but then i noticed she does lay down in Cheshire Crossing#on her bed#its like the first thing she does when getting settled in#but by the time i realized this i'd already drawn all those flowers#so... many... flowers...#Wendy and Dorthy are accepting how sucky their lives have been being gaslit and borderline torchered in Victorian asylums for years#(they seemed a little in dinial in CC)#while Alice is just happy she finally has friends who believe her and aren't torturing her in a Victorian asylum#get it?#its like the opposites of their worst habits or something#they're free to feel their feelings at Cheshire Crossing#that's what the daisies symbolize#btw why did Sarah Scribbles draw Cheshire Crossing (the building and its grounds) the exact same as Alice's childhood house/mansion?#it even has the same green plants on both#No one ever mentions it!#And it's not like that in the og artwork#why did Alice never mention this is her old house?#or did she just materialize near the future Cheshire Crossing when coming back from Wonderland?#But then why was her dad walking through some random field that wasn't his?#I should probably make this its own post#but I'm leaving this rant in here cause I think it's funny
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Thoughts on ep 6? I see a lot of praise for it but I'm like 🤔. A lot of things were annoying and illogical and I don't like what they're doing with most of the characters this season. Now even Daemon gets a redemption arc, Aegon is the biggest victim of his family, but Aemond is 100 % evil, Helaena barely appears at all (at this point Sylvie and Dyana might be more important to the story). I'm just disappointed.
Hello dear.
I'm terribly tired of this season, it's a complete disappointment. Many fan theories and fanfictions are better written than this series. I don't know what writers get their money for. The whole season 2 is like Groundhog Day. The sixth episode is just water.
We continue to be shown Daemon, his hallucinations and his “redemption”. We are promoted that he loved his brother, but this love did not extend to Viserys’ other children. Daemon and Rhaenyra actually spent their entire lives ignoring, neglecting, rejecting, and abusing Alicent's children because their grandfather was Otto. Viserys did not accept his children because ANOTHER WOMAN gave birth to them. Alicent's children were indeed discriminated against by their paternal relatives. Therefore, I do not believe in the propaganda of Daemon's redemption, that Rhaenyra is kind, and Viserys is a good parent. Besides, I'm terribly tired of all these hallucinations in Harrenhal. It was interesting in the beginning, but now it's endless repetition.
The pointless scenes of Rhaenyra and Daemon could have been spent on a story arc with the north and Sarah Snow, showing Daeron, more scenes to Helaena.
It looks like we have Daemon, Rhaenyra and Alicent, other characters, playing the role of «trees» or «decorations» for them.
They decided to show Aegon as a victim. This is a cheap scenario move to divide the TG stans into two camps: those who support Aemond and those who support Aegon. As if we weren't already divided into helaemond stans and anti-helaemond long ago. Aegon could have been given a bit of heroism to get burned by Rhaenys. But we have what we have. The dynamic between Aegon and Aemond reminds me of the dynamic between Viserys and Daenerys. It really is déjà vu, but I don't believe the writers intended it that way.
Aemond tries to deal with the problems that Aegon and Rhaenyra created. The birth of the rebellion began after Aegon carried out a reign of terror by hanging the rat-catchers. Rhaenyra set up a blockade. Aemond closed the gates, but if he had not done this, the entire infrastructure would have stopped working, since there would be no people left in the capital. It's cruel, but it's true and it's wartime. The problem is that Aegon, as king, failed to convey to the people that they were starving because of Rhaenyra, staged a public execution and fired Otto. Aemond can no longer do anything, because the mechanism has already been launched and a riot was inevitable.
I don't think they're trying to make Aemond evil, but the normies will think he's evil. He is cruel to his brother for personal reasons, he fired Alicent (which I support him on) because she loves Rhaenyra (Alicent actually had a chance to end the war in episode 3, but she loves Rhaenyra more than her children). Aemond brought Otto back because he knows that his grandfather is the best Hand.
I feel bad for Helaena the most. I really believed that she would be on the small council. Ewan talked a lot about Helaena: “She is good with books and money.” I'm really upset. We weren't even shown the Dreamfyre. Why does Alice Rivers have more screen time in the Targaryen story? Where is Helaena's coronation?
Alys Rivers is absolutely disgusting to me. She's a maniac on the hunt for Targaryen sperm. She drives Daemon crazy like a brain parasite. I hope people stop romanticizing alysmond, because the same thing awaits Aemond.
Sylvia was offended that Aemond no longer came to her and did not pay her money, so she decided to spread lies about him that he was throwing a feast in the castle. Even Diana doesn't believe her because she served the royal family and knew Aemond's character. Sylvia is not a hero, she owns a brothel. She abused (ra**d) 13 year old Aemond and I'm sure other children too. She manipulated Aemond, and when he left, she decided to take revenge on him.
Rhaena was given the Nettles line, which is quite disappointing. Once again the writers show that in TB this is the Mary Sue team. The writers actually decided to remove the cool character because they didn't want to ruin daenyra.
Helaemond is pain. The writers decided to gaslight us. The entire written plot in the first season was destruction, all the potential was destruction. Ewan and Phia say that Helaemond was not in the scripts, but I don't believe it. There are many scenes and hints in the second half of the first season.
House of the Dragon is truly a complete disappointment for those with critical thinking skills. The scriptwriters' favoritism is not even hidden.
Bring back Miguel! He is the only one who knows how to write a script and characters!
We have two more episodes, but there's not much hope.
p.s.
Aemond showed Larys his place and immediately understood his manipulation - the best scene of the whole season.
#hotd#house of the dragon#anti hotd#anti sylvie#anti alicent hightower#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti hotd s2#anti sara hess#anti ryan condal#anti daemon targeryan#anti alys rivers#anti alysmond#team green#anti team black#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#helaemond#daeron targaryen#anti aegon ii targaryen#ewan mitchell#phia saban#otto hightower#nettles#anti viserys targaryen#house targaryen#dance of the dragons#asoiaf#pro aemond targaryen#daenerys targaryen#miguel sapochnik
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I 100% believe the archetypes of Jekyll’s Fiancée and Hyde’s Girlfriend which are present in a lot of Jekyll and Hyde adaptations are Utterson and Lanyon respectively- or more accurately part of them. Jekyll’s Fiancée (Alice. Millicent. Agnes. Muriel. Sarah. Emma. Lisa. Beatrix.) represents Utterson’s passive role in the story (worrying about Jekyll, having pseudo-romantic tension with him), while if Utterson is present in the same story he lacks that passive role and only the active role (ultimately discovering who Hyde is) remains in him. And likewise, Hyde’s Girlfriend (the Ivys and Lucys, the bartenders and prostitutes) represents Lanyon’s passive role (dying at Hyde’s hands; though this time he physically kills her) while the Lanyon character in the adaptation is only active (gets the truth behind Jekyll and Hyde revealed). Of course this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes it’s Utterson who gets the truth revealed, sometimes Lanyon does die, sometimes a man is killed, sometimes only one love interest appears… but it’s interesting how certain elements in Utterson and Lanyon are implicitly seen as “feminine” and thus excised from them and turned into love interests. Would that mean they’re also implicitly seen as love interests?
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She Knows
One night sky. Four fates.
I move the stars for no one.
Oh, but he did. He did for her.
I leave my love between the stars.
She grinds her teeth. No. Not again. She saw herself by his side many times in her dreams. It was like her mind was trying to tell her something years later. She fights against his pull, she hides from the owl she sees occasionally. But sometimes she lets it follow her. But why? She hates him.
Doesn't she? No. It wasn't his fault. She knows it was her words that sent Toby away and brought the Goblin King into her life. He just did what she asked and blamed him for it. What a selfish fool she was.
She could still feel his strong hand on her back gently pulling her towards him on that dance floor. So gentle yet strong. Power under control. The heartbreaking look he gave her right before she destroyed his dream. Her dreams.
She wasn't ready then but now...
All she wanted was a normal life. But that wasn't her destiny. She'd never stop seeing those eyes. The way he said her name. The way the other men in her life just weren't him.
Deep down she knows the truth. There was only ever really one. Could she really leave it all behind? Or live a less-than-satisfactory life without him?
She closes her eyes.
"I wish..."
The owl appears in the tree.
"Sarah."
You alone can make my song take flight
She sits at her bedroom window unable to sleep as the white snow falls from the dark sky. Her marriage to another is fast approaching yet she feels remorse rather than joy. She is still haunted by his songs. His voice. His kiss. Those eyes beneath that mask. The desire and love and the hidden sorrow. How she wanted to take his pain away.
"I can't." She cries. But what is she referring to? If she leaves there will be a scandal, but if she stays much worse will happen. She wouldn't be marrying for love. Does she truly love her betrothed? She glances over at her red cloak. No, she can't.
"Raoul is a good man." Which was true. A good and noble man. A brave man. But who was she trying to convince? She remembers kissing him after she left her Angel of Music in his sorrow. But it wasn't the same. She wanted to stay with him but he let her go and her heart broke when she gave back the ring.
She knows. She grabs it and runs out the door towards the opera house.
She runs and runs not knowing if he'd even be there but she had nowhere else to go. She stops. Catching her breath under the pillars of the opera house. A shadow within a shadow moves. Watching her. It's him.
"Erik!" She cries.
He runs to her.
Across the pond in another world, the young maiden sees the same night sky that seems to be from another world. A beautiful memory of a balcony and a perfect starry night with a maddening character that visited her in wondrous dreams.
"It was never a dream. It was better."
A vibrant blue butterfly sits at her window sill. She knows the truth. It was all real. He was real.
You could stay
He whispers. He knew she wouldn't but desperately her to. How she wanted to stay. Stay with him. Be free of the rules of her society. He fought for her to remember who she once was. He believed in her when those doubted her. He bravely fought alongside her. He helped her find her much-ness. As he called it.
She was his Alice. She knows it. No man this side of the looking glass could be with her. They would never understand.
She sees the mirror next to her dresser. She knows it's her true destiny. Queen of Wonderland with him. Laughter. Dancing. A family. Her friends. Her sense of belonging in a world of chaotic fantasy and all with him. She stands before her reflection and steps forward.
"I knew you would come back! And just in time for tea!"
She tossed and turned. He couldn't have meant it. It was a trick. She caught the glow of the night sky. It looked just like that night in the church. Rich blues and stars all around them. The world frozen beneath them. Just the two of them. Floating higher and higher as he seemed to pour out his heart to her.
After all the loves of my life, you'll still be the one
He can't be serious. It's him. But he sounded so genuine and his eyes were so...
No! He's a trickster. A monster. A devil. He's dead! He's hundreds of years old! He just wanted to use her again. Right?
So why did he let her go? And why didn't she burn the model like she wanted? Why didn't she find a way to completely sever their connection?
She grabbed the vacant pillow next to her and screamed into it. Why him?!
"I hate you!"
"No, you don't." Came the reply.
She knows the truth. She'd known it for years. The someone just out of reach. The one person who truly saw her and accepted her and never left her. He always kept his word. It always went back to him.
"Why did you let me go?"
"You know why." She can feel his smile. "Just say it, Honey. You know the truth."
She knows. She heads for the attic and stands before it. She closes her eyes.
"Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice."
His lips are on hers just as she finishes.
#beetlejuice#beetlebabes#beetlejuice beetlejuice#beetlelyds#beetlejuice x lydia#lydia x beetlejuice#beetlejuice lydia#beetlegeuse#phantom x christine#christine x erik#erik/christine#erik x christine#mad hatter x alice#alice x hatter#hatter x alice#sarah x jareth#sareth#keatlejuice#beetleguese#lydia/beetlejuice#erik and christine#michael keaton#winona ryder#beetlejuice movie#lydia deetz#labyrinth#fanfic#christine daae#phantom of the opera#alice in wonderland
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I swear ever since I found out that ACOTAR was just a fanfic SJM wrote for Twilight so many things make sense!!
Aka twilight is terrible yet we love it anyway, Stephanie Meyer can’t write for shit & Bella Swan was a Stephanie Meyer self insert in the way that Feyre Archeron is a self insert for Sarah.
Also both Rhysand & Edward are written not for the books, plot or even the actual characters themselves but for the authors to the point where you can tell the characters own actions contradict themselves because both authors push their views & on the characters instead of letting the characters just be that…a character.
If you look at the Robert Pattison interviews & the way he talks about Twilight & his character Edward Cullen it’s fucking hilarious & glorious!😭😩😂 the way he shits on Stephanie & her writing it has me howling every single time!
Rhysand = Edward Cullen just a fae version & more powerful, both read minds, both old as hell & infatuated with a teenage girl, both have a rival (Tamlin & Jacob Black), both keep secrets from their fiancé’s/wife thus endangering them, both get their wives pregnant with babies that ultimately end up killing them, both babies are super powered, both get married to their mates when they’re mate hasn’t even lived their lives yet
Mor & Cassian = Rosalie & Emmett minus the actual relationship but they still fucked & the same way in Twilight everyone knows they’re in a relationship but at the same time because they’re like adopted by Carlisle everyone they’re also referred to as being brother & sister
Azriel = Jasper minus Azriel being a confederate
Then there’s just Amren 😂
Elain = Alice
You could even say that Rhysand & Feyre are both Edward & Bella & also Carlisle & Esme (since they both are the “leaders” of the family)but SJM wrote them as Edward & Bella
Then Nesta & Cassian become Rosalie & Emmett
Lucien = maybe Seth?
Amarantha = Victoria
Tamlin = Jacob (if you’ve read the books then you know how Jacob’s character actually is)
The Archeron sisters parents…Papa Archeron is a deadbeat & useless, Bella’s dad is just there (but still better than what the sisters had) but Bella’s mom lowkey useless & so was Mama Archeron
Feyre sees Nyx as an extension of Rhysand & so does Bella though Feyre might actually be a better mother than Bella because as a mother is…well not maternal in the slightest.
The inner circle is stupid rich, so were the cullens.
I could go on & on about it but shout out to that Reddit user who still had the copy of SJM’s Twilight fanfic & started doing the side by side comparisons!!
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#tamlin#feyre archeron#rhysand#twilight#sarah j maas#stephanie meyer#bella swan#edward cullen#rosalie cullen#emmett cullen#cassian#morrigan#azriel#alice cullen#jasper cullen#elain archeron#nesta archeron#jacob black#the cullens#the inner circle
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“Softening the main Targ because people “love” them” is just history revisionism unless anon somehow means Jon. Dany is wayyy more aggressive and cold in the show. Her ending was planned early, so this makes sense for the show to do this bc book Dany can’t even kill hostages much less nuke a surrendered city. It almost feels like Ryan is adapting book Dany which is bizarre bc she and book Rhaenyra are about as different as you can get!
Yes, I think D&D took Jon nuances and made him a generic prototype hero. In the book he is so much more strategic than the short temper guy he is in the show, I hate the battle of the bastards and that whole arc because nothing show!Jon does after his death fits in his book version, their fanfic was always there, It Just got progressively worse when they didn't have material to adapt. I pretty sure when Jon comes back from the dead he is not going to look the same. Death always takes away something from people in asoiaf.
And in part agree to the whole Dany thing, they made her since s1, more cruel and military focused than she was in the books and taking away her connection with magic took essential part of her character and her arc. In that sense, yes, they adapted part of Dany's arc into Rhaenyra, but It does not fully works. Because both characters are supposedly care about "prophecy" and the weight of the family legacy, but Rhaenyra behavior through the first season does not reflect this. Furthermore, the arc that Rhaenyra is supposed to be copying in this season is Dany's in the book A Dance with Dragons.
Whatever the claims are completely different, because Dany is fighting against oppression and slavery and Rhaenyra is fighting for her to be queen. Thematically, ironically, Alicent is the one who borrows the most from Dany in the show. Her young version arc is a westerosi version of what Dany goes though in book one, her marriages are very much alike as well. Even the Idea of she, narratively, to be more than the mother of the one who should be "the king/The stallion who mounts the world" is present in the show.
But It does not fully works and is bizarre and disconnected because those characters are never originally thought out to be the same and neither Ryan or Sarah, despite understanding certain themes they are unable to recreate because they are not as talented as writers as Martin is. Rhaenyra is a character to be a Cersei's reflection and hint at Cersei future conflic and endgame.Alicent is her own character but being a mother still essential part of who she is and her motivation, taking that and make her sacrifice her only child is insane character murder because It took the motivation she was build up into It, It takes her character foundation. I have no idea what her story moving up because lmao what even is the story after that "queen in chains"? Just after they ended her finally reaching her "freedom".
Daenerys presence on a Dance of the Dragons, It should only happens as a hidden subject, though the prophecy. Same as Jon with the Gregan And Jace pack, that they cut out for no good reason what só ever.
And the Aegon's prophecy I truly I believe it is something real, It already play a part on Dany dreams and because Martin himself said will play a part on future events so is confimed as true and canon.
GRRM: In some sense he[Aegon the Conqueror] saw what was coming 300 years later, and wanted to unify the Seven Kingdoms to be better prepared for the threat that he eventually saw coming in the north."Daenerys Targaryen is no maid, however. She is the widow of a Dothraki khal, a mother of dragons and sacker of cities, Aegon the Conqueror with teats." ADWD
Whatever I am not as sure in the book canon Viserys even know the prophecy. I think It died with Jaehaerys, and I have a strong theory of why he didn't pass that information, but, this post is to long already. I believe neither Aegon nor Rhaenyra knew about it.
The Daemon part is acually the one I believe, I stugled a lot about how this arc ended, but after analyzing and digesting, I think it makes a lot of sense for him to suport Rhaenyra after he come to sort religious experience, because is not for her, It is because he new view on the events, and that makes sense.
Either way, Sorry for my Ted talk anon, AMD thanks for sending a ask.
#house of the dragon#hotd#team green#hotd critical#alicent hightower#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti ryan condal#anti sarah hess#anti d&d#anti game of thrones#Anon ask#jon snow#asoaif#daenerys targaryen
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- I see Richard II as an opener, and I’m pouring myself a stiff one because we’re starting by setting the thermostat at insane.
- fuck, the timing of the pregnancy just hit with the “we’ll have to relocate to the palace soon.” The fact that they both decided to have a family before they knew Rhaenyra would be saddled with the crown is really devastating.
- of course baby Daeron has baby silver curls like the widdle renaissance angel he is, of course
- (Married woman, taken woman, wanted woman.)
(Loved woman, cherished woman, someone’s woman.)
Safe woman.
Okay but the way you encapsulate canon Alicent’s deep desire to conform to the kind of doe-eyed womanhood her society expects of her, and at the same time somehow make it wholesome? This should be illegal. It’s definitely some sort of dangerous mind-altering witchcraft. Please never work in government. Or, you know, given the givens, do.
-okay so minor detail but I do love the constant of Rhaenyra’s Home Renovation Antics in The Molterverse™️
-“anything not making intuitive sense to me must be ipso-facto preposterous” okay but the way I HOLLERED, because *yes, absolutely Rhaenyra* but also me, because of course I’m soooo smart 😂🙄
-Secretary of State for Defence, the Rt. Hon. Jason Lannister, Earl of Lincoln.—Well, pack your bags everyone, country’s *fucked*
-I think it’s quite inspired to show how Alicent’s satisfaction at being a *good* caretaker (while of course done out of love and duty both canonically and here) is in large part due to the sense of control and power that she derives from the act. She times the medicine, she presides over Rhaenyra’s recovery, she finally has all of Rhaenyra’s time and attention again in some capacity—and fuck the engagements and country and staff. Possibly in that order.
- Can I say, one of the things I’m really enjoying about this story is the…diegetic? Way you’ve incorporated the news as organism and organization giving voice to The People in counterpoint to the Crown, much like Alicent just wants to go back to being a normal person and Rhaenyra is slowly consumed by the shackles of the throne.
- Her fingers making Michelangelo indents on Rhaenyra’s skin—oh we’re pulling out the art history? We’re bringing out the big guns? It’s going to be like that? Alright. Talk dirty to me.
- “a donkey trot to Valhalla” her poor cervix (she’s loving it), I don’t think I’ve laughed this much at a 5 word sentence IN MY LIFE. Valhalla is correct because I AM BATTLING DEMONS HERE AND THEYRE WINNING
- Also it should go without saying, but sometimes it’s nice to hear it, so: HOT
- OH MY FUCKING GOD, is Alicent totally masterminding the absolute fucking tanking of this fucking tour? WE LOVE TO SEE IT.
- Oh god, the way Rhaenyra just needs Alicent to believe she can be a good Prince of Dragonstone, the way Alicent just needs Rhaenyra to leave it all behind and pay attention only to her and their baby, the way THEYRE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE GOING TO SPEECH THERAPY BECAUSE THEY CANT FUCKING COMMUNICATE. 🥺😫😤😍😍😍
- “I’m sorry that you still live with bread, Rhaenyra.” Her voice wavers. “Feel want. Taste grief. I don’t find it pathetic at all. I love the mortal bones of you, Rhaenyra.” She opens the door, then, to the light. “But I know how badly you’d wish it otherwise.”
Praying and hoping and begging that Ryan Condal and Sarah Hess read this before season 3. Behold, a perfect thesis statement.
-“He’s done the work for us tonight, hasn’t he,” she croons. “Give him his due.”
fuck Rhaenyra is going to *murder her* when she realizes how beautifully she’s been played.
-Rhaenyra stares back at it. Her lips are wet. “Gods,” she murmurs. Turns it in the light. “That really is a beautiful green.”
Yes drink the poison, Rhaenyra, the poison from your wife, your wife’s poison, bc she loves you so.
-oh my god it was ACTUALLY FUCKING POISON? I was JOKING! I am a god of narrative. Actually, I think that’s you. Holy Jesus mother of fuck.
-“she draws her closer, and sees movement, on the horizon—a van—and tugs her closer, closer still.”
Christ I can see the headlines already, Feckless Princess of Dragonstone feigns ilness to abandon tour, captured frolicking with Princess Consort as thousands die abroad.
-re: headline, ah, well your was more concise!
-I need a 10000 word fic where Daemon chokes on his own blood slowly while everyone and everything he loves, which is very little, mocks and ridicules him. It’s the least he deserves.
-Anyway, to recap the most important thing: RIP Alicent’s Cervix, you have been Witnessed™️
i wish i could mainline these and then post them as the official commentary to the chapter i swear to god it's like you are in my mind
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As someone who has read Fire and Blood and watched Bojack Horseman, how would you compare Jaehaerys Targaryen to Joseph Sugarman?
that's a GENIUS comparison omg.
okay this is something i and a few of the oomfs have talked about, that like, viserys DOES have some culpability in the dance, obviously, but a lot of what he does is just him trying to replicate jaehaerys' approach - placate your annoying wife, isolate & bully the heir you don't like, and who really cares about who is sniffing around the heir you do like, that's someone else's problem. and that really reminds me of the way bojack horseman slowly peels back the layers over the years that the slow moving car crash of sarah lynn didn't start with bojack's failure to protect her, because bojack was failed as a child as well, but it didn't start with him either because look at what his parents went through, all going back to this insane business joseph sugarman who held the threat of lobotomy over beatrice's head, until beatrice becomes a different yet so similar sort of boogeyman to bojack (and bojack leads sarah lynn to her death).
it hits on that same theme that tyrion points out, one of my favorite lines in the series-
“It all goes back and back," Tyrion thought, "to our mothers and fathers and theirs before them. We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us, and one day our own children will take up our strings and dance in our steads.”
Bojack's issues with alcohol don't start with him; he's not leading Sarah Lynn down into a life of vice because he's actively trying to harm her. He was so young when he started drinking he barely even remembers when it started, barely remembers what its like to be sober anymore, and he got that from Beatrice (and his father) who were, just like him, drinking to forget the god awful things that happened, to forget how miserable they are; they aren't trying to fuck up Bojack's life either. And even Joseph Sugarman - he rushes Beatrice to the hospital, he's kind and affectionate to Honey early on in their marriage. He's not trying to destroy their lives, he's trying to get them to live what he feels is Their Best Life but he destroys them nonetheless with his casual and vicious cruelty! And I think that's a really good way of looking at the Dance - Rhaenyra and Aegon aren't trying to kick off a bloody war, they're mostly just doing what they're told by their counselors, and Alicent isn't aware of her hypocrisy here, she's just afraid for the lives of her children, and Viserys isn't actually trying to ruin the lives of his kids, he's doing what he's been taught! And who was he taught by? The boogeyman, Jaehaerys, who simply wants everyone to do what he says because he is the patriarch and he knows best. Like Joseph, he's not actually trying to destroy the lives of the women around him. And yet it's exactly what he does, and the affects of his behavior reverberate down the family tree.
#i always think of tyrion and bojack with the bottle episode after beatrice's death - my mother is dead and everything is worse now#it doesn't matter how destructive beatrice & tywin were to their children. they're dead and everything is worse.#and that's grief when you had an abusive parent. you wnat to feel free when they die. but you just feel worse.#asks#timetravelingbloodraven#joseph sugarman-jaehaerys is so good tho right next to joseph-tywin.#all patriarchs is the same#aldsjfd
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Tropes Draft #1: Apocalypse
Hi there! My friends @nakedmonkey, @smashingmagicklovely, @fat-fem-and-asian, and @harrietdyker played a game on Discord this week where we drafted a cast for a film based on common tropes in an apocalypse story, and now we're looking to settle a winner via poll! See short synopses of each movie under cut, but, of course, you're welcome just to vote based on vibes alone! At the end of the week, we'll reveal whose film was which.
[01.] sarah snook and ayo edebiri star in indie zombie drama ALL OF THE MEN ARE DEAD. snook plays alice, a world weary survivor trying to locate her younger sibling lachlan (liv hewson), who vanished after a fight. she rescues lost survivors brianna (ayo edebiri) and her younger sister lily (violet mcgraw), along with their dog tiger (DITTO THE DOG ! #1 on the call sheet) from a horde of zombies. In return, brianna says that she met lachlan a few weeks ago and directed them to the safe zone her mother zoya (sheryl lee ralph) leads before getting separated. she offers alice the same safety if they find their way back. despite her growing fondness for lily, alice can't shake a feeling of unease with her new companions. how does brianna know these lands so well? how did lily know alice's name? why did they leave the safe zone at all?
[02.] At Rainbow House, everyone is welcome and treated like family. At least, that’s what Eleanor Glass (Academy Award nominee Sigourney Weaver) and her wife Marcia (Academy Award winner Allison Janney) intended when they opened their LGBTQ youth center, which is under existential threat by the ominous corporation CTOA, headed by Maxwell Price (Academy Award nominee Colman Domingo). Now, in the aftermath of a nuclear apocalypse, Eleanor and Marcia have made efforts to turn the center into a safe house for all those who lost everything. Alongside longtime program director Charlie (Academy Award winner Ian McKellen) and Eleanor’s street-smart protege Sunny (Emmy winner Zendaya), they work tirelessly to protect everyone - even as CTOA continues its efforts to dismantle the organization. But when Price and his daughter Ashlyn (Emmy nominee Jenna Ortega) show up seeking shelter, Eleanor and Marcia must choose between their commitment to welcoming everyone as equals and their fight with Maxwell Price. Sunny’s secret relationship with Ashlyn complicates matters further, not to mention the possibility that CTOA had more to do with this nuclear fallout than anyone could have expected. Nominated for 4 Academy Awards including Best Original Screenplay and Best Actress (Weaver), Everyone’s Inn is a bold tale about love, found family, and the secrets we keep.
[03.] The Letum Project: In a near distant future, the lethal Letum Virus that targets both the developmental and nervous systems simultaneously is turning victims into distorted, violent walking corpses, and is running rampant, dismantling societal infrastructures at a rapid pace and wreaking havoc on a global scale. A team of elite medical professionals, spearheaded by Dr. Freya Wright (Olivia Colman) and partner Dr. August Beck (Mads Mikkelsen), has been working tirelessly in an underground facility to find a cure for the past 10 months, but an unexpected death in the team brings into question what the motivation behind the project really is. Propelled by the mysterious and tragic death of her wife and fellow researcher, Allison Harris (Rebecca Hall), and the unexplained disappearance of friend and mentor, Dr. Amelia Bailey (Harriet Walker), Dr. Greta Harris (Dagmara Dominczyk) embarks on a rogue quest to find answers along with colleague and famed vascular neurologist, Gabrielle Gomez (Gina Torres). What they find above ground is a nightmarish scene; entire towns of infected people left to rot in now fenced zones, while survivors now live off of rationed food and essentials in a highly militarized state, the rich prioritized over the poor. But those aren’t the only truths Greta is forced to face. Allison and Gabrielle had been working alongside Amelia on a project they had kept from the rest of the team; a potential cure that might have been successful had Allison not found herself suddenly infected. Betrayed by the revelation, and now finding themselves hunted by Dr. Wright and Dr. Beck, Greta is left to wonder if there’s anyone left to trust. Aided only by sporadic morse code messages received through an old radio left to them by an anonymous source shortly before their escape from the facility, Greta and Gabrielle embark on a dangerous quest to find out.
[04.] Gödshead: A deadly virus has ravaged North America, leaving only sparse pockets of healthy populations behind in its wake: small towns and even smaller villages, family compounds, isolated homesteads surrounded by barbed wire fences. For years, former real estate agent Parker Kingston (Tawny Cypress) lived in such a protected home with her two daughters, the responsible Audrey (Jasmin Savoy-Brown) and the younger, far more rebellious Ryan (Amandla Stenberg), but the start of the film finds both Parker and Ryan reeling after a raider attack results in Audrey’s death and the sudden loss of their home. Grief-stricken, wounded, and utterly undone, mother and daughter must carry on anyway, taking sanctuary in a heavily walled village called Gödshead. Though their personal relationship is tumultuous, both Kingston women settle into something of a routine in the quaint village as they get to know its colorful denizens. They share a house with Dr. Hutchings (Paul Giamatti), a cantankerous but well-meaning history professor; Parker forges an intimate bond with Marnie Thompson (Samantha Sloyan), a kind if strangely fragile teacher who takes care of the village’s children while their parents work. They also get to know Mayor Willa Thompson (Frances McDormand), Marnie’s mother, whose stern but fair hand has ensured the village’s continued prosperity. But what exactly is the price of prosperity in an apocalypse? Parker and Ryan soon discover that there’s more to the village that lies beneath its seemingly peaceful surface—indeed that the trade-off for peace is a sacrifice that all citizens of Gödshead must be prepared to make. Winters are brutal in the mountains, and meat is scarce; there’s a lottery every winter in Gödshead, and everyone has a number.
[05.] The Sick: The zombie apocalypse did not end the world as we know it. Nobody knows how the infection works, who can pass it on and why, and what, exactly, it does to a person: they just know who is sick. They just know who to kill. When Claire (Romola Garai), an exhausted local news reporter, is assigned to report on Refuge, an organisation fighting to protect the hunted sick, she finds out her best friend, the good-hearted Raul (Diego Luna), has been a part of the organisation for months now, but she does not get to confront him about it before he strangely dies. Claire takes it upon herself to get his latest case, the young and funny Layla (Hunter Schafer) to safety in his honor. With the help of Raul’s boss, the eccentric Eddie (Ncuti Gatwa), they go on a cross-country journey towards the shelter built by Refuge. But on their way, Claire’s investigative tendencies can’t let go of the feeling that Eddie is hiding something, and Layla is getting sicker, worried for her companions’ safety around her. It’s a rest-stop encounter with Harper (Harriet Dyer) that gives Claire her answers and Layla the opportunity to protect her friends: a former colleague of Eddie, left to die by Eddie after getting infected, Harper, now part of a resistance organisation fighting for liberation of the sick, is out for revenge, but revenge is not as clear-cut a thing as people think. She tries to convince Layla to abandon Claire and Eddie’s shelter idea and join her, because Eddie can’t be trusted and Claire is too naive. And if Claire was not conflicted enough about the discovery, Raul’s cousin, the mysterious Mateo (Vico Ortiz), who blames Eddie for Raul’s death, is working with Harper, and tries to convince Claire to join the revolution, too, so she won’t die in it.
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The Annotated Anne of Green Gables ~~ a special rereading
CHAPTER VII ~~ Anne Says Her Prayers
Chapter Title: Anne Says Her Prayers
It is well known that people were very religious in the Victorian era, and works of fiction, especially for children, were often laced with Christian influence. One of the strongest appeals to Victorian society was teaching children how to pray, even more so if they were previously heathens. The best example is Jessica's First Prayer (1867) by Hesba Stretton (Sarah Smith). It is an overly serious work that really means to spread Christianity, definitely evangelical in nature. According to Google Books, it "is a heartwarming story that explores themes of faith, compassion, and the power of prayer. Follow Jessica, a poor orphan girl, as she encounters the kindness of strangers and discovers the importance of prayer in her life. Stretton's narrative beautifully illustrates the transformative impact of love and faith, making it a timeless tale that resonates with readers of all ages." This and other books of this nature were extremely popular. By 1900, Jessica's First Prayer had sold over a million copies and is said to have outsold Alice in Wonderland, widely thought to be the most popular children's book, by ten times. (Though I can not confirm this). However, Anne's experience of praying for the first time with Marilla differs from Jessica's. It is outlandish, and Jessica's piousness is nowhere to be found. In fact, Anne is not praying out of love for God but instead to make Marilla happy, and this whole event is comedic in nature, with just a touch of seriousness in Marilla to keep Victorians happy. Overall, I believe this is meant to subtly critique the writings of those like Sarah Smith and their overly perfect and pious orphans.
"Will you believe that she never said a prayer in her life until to-night? I'll send to the manse to-morrow and borrow the Peep of Day series."
The Peep of Day series are Methodist Sunday School lessons written by Mrs. Favell Lee Mortimer and first published in 1830. I found online scans of some of them, which you can find here. The series's subtitle is 'The earliest religious instruction, the infant mind is capable of receiving.' The series reads very simply for those very young, or in Anne's case, those who have never received religious instruction. They are meant to prepare children for one day of reading scripture while being accessible and somewhat entertaining with illustrations. L.M. Montgomery herself read this series as a child but does not have such fond memories of them. "I was always nagged about 'reading too much' and scolded because I preferred stories to the 'Peep of Day' series." She wrote that in her journal on January 2, 1905. Clearly, this series was not her favorite but she is about to subject Anne to the same fate, who also probably prefers stories to anything in 'Peep of Day.'
#anne of green gables#anne shirley#marilla cuthbert#aogg#lm montgomery#l.m. montgomery#peep of day#prayer#jessica's first prayer#annotated anne of green gables
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hey guys i have decided that i will now become a TMAGP account. hashtag. love this new podcast!! as soon as my hands stop swelling I WILL be making RedCanary fan art. I cannot express how much i’m loving this series rn
more below the cut! ! (SPOILERS)
OKAY SO!! episode #1 has thoroughly shaken me to the core. thank you so @sunnyspookss for listening to me yap about it over discord. love u suns!! here are my thoughts on the characters :
Sam - I cannot describe how I feel about this creature. I’m loving them and they’re giving me very… main character vibes (obviously but… anything could change who knows). Currently loving the idea that they wear glasses !!! Def a really fleshed out character (even from just the first episode).
I know Sam SAID that they were working here to ‘get back on [my] feet’ but I feel like there might be something more behind it?
Alice - right off the bat !! I’m loving her. she seems so incredibly sweet and i’m HC-ing her as a trans woman. live laugh love Alice !!! She’s so silly and in some ways reminds me of Tim Stoker ? I think it’s really interesting and I can’t wait to see how her character develops!!
ALSOOO TTHE FACT THAT SHE AND SAM USED TO DATE!??? AUGH. during college too? I feel like this is running a real close parallel to Jon and Georgie.
Gwen <333 - I can totally see some of the Bouchard family line coming in here. At first (a.k.a. the first 10 minutes or so) i didn’t really have any strong opinions and kinda forgot that her last name was bouchard but after the little scene of her and Lena in the office I started to love her even more. The boldness and the gall this woman has makes me want to shake her around like a squeaky toy.
When Lena was like “what do you even want here anyways 😒😒” AND GWEN WENT “your job” I LOST IT. LIKE.
I don’t even know if she and Elias are related but goddamn?!! I’m literally in love.
Lena - She knows something. This woman. this girl. she knows something that I do not know and I do not like it.
Colin - Live Laugh Love Colin!!! He def knows what’s going on!! I have a feeling he’ll be rlly important to the plot and his little end ‘speech’ (more like dialogue but oh well) at the end of the first episode was like??? Major Eye vibes.
RedCanary - I don’t even know where to begin. The insanity? The deleting photo? Canaries should stay above ground? The anger at ArcherK?? The mystery?
I really hope this character comes back but even if they’re a Sarah Baldwin situation that is 110% okay. I love the premise of this person finding something in that box (or maybe just the box in general) that drives them to insanity or drives them to some new information?
Misc. - Ok! Im not sure if the same like… ‘fears’ apply but someone (hi sunny) has said that there might be a new fear system? i think that’s going to be really fun to get into once I listen to the second episode. Secondly !!!! The Magnus Archive being turned into the library of alexandria (not literally but still) is such a cool concept to me. I think it’s very inchresting to think about because
A) as a child i loved researching TLA (the library of alexandria) and B) it makes a whole new timeline- i think?? Or maybe it’s some like alternate dimension or something!!! who knows!! I love it!
The idea of lost knowledge (and that knowledge once being uncovered driving people to insanity) (shoutout redcanary we will remember you!) is such a cool concept in general. the what-ifs and the maybes that can stem from it are so interesting and I can’t wait to see if they expand on that or not!! Either way- i’m loving the podcast so far.
ALSO JON AND MARTIN BEING CHESTER AND NORRIS RESPECTIVELY? DOES THIS MEAN THAT AUGUSTUS IS LIKE. ELIAS OR JONAH???? AUGH THIS PODCAST IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT
#the magnus universe#magpod#magnus pod#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp vague#tmagp spoilers#tmagp speculation
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“If You Are Jacob Black’s Sister” Series Rules of the World
You’re the middle child Black sibling
You’re Leah Clearwater’s her best friend
You’re 2 years younger than Leah and 2years older than Jacob. You’re the same age as Paul and Jared
You’re 18 when you first shift
When the series starts you just finished a 3 month internship study in New York
You and Jacob care for one another but the relationship is strained since Sarah Black died and Rachel and Rebecca left
You’re queer and out to the Pack and the Clearwaters, you’re not really sure how Billy would take it
The Quileute Shifters shift if they have the gene
Quileute Shifters don’t imprint to “better the gene pool” but to keep the peace within the pack. (MORE ON THIS LATER)
For every 1.66 Vampires there’s one wolf (Cullen’s 5, Ephraim’s Pack 3)
FUCK THE NUMBERS DON’T MAKE SENSE , whatever it’ll be an estimate/average… I guess that ratio can change based on the level of the threat
The Cullen’s have 8 coven member at the start of Twilight (Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Quinn, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper)
Vampires can eat but it does not give them nutritional value and it’s a overwhelming. Seeing that all their senses get heightened why not their taste?
Vampires can cry! Being unable to cry for decades and centuries is stupid! It does take the vampire to be in EXTREME emotions though.
The sunlight sparkle can stay
Alice can’t particularly see the wolves cause they tend to act on instinct than planning decisions. Not some bullshit about because she wasn’t a shifter CAUSE AT THE END OF BREAKING DAWN SHE SEES RENESMEE AND JACOB?!
Quinn is Rosalie’s older sister and Emmett’s mate. Quinn is 4 years older than Rosalie. Quinn was turned in 1928, permanently 18, by Carlisle from severe injuries during the Times Square derailment and overhearing Rosalie’s grief stricken begging to a higher power
If a vampire bites a shifter it doesn’t kill them. If the Shifter had other injuries it would kill them but they can never turn into a vampire because their 108° body temperature would the venom before the transition. It’s still painful though
That’s all bye! Thank you!
#if you series#twilight saga imagine#twilight saga#twilight#twilight imagine#quileute pack#quileute pack x reader#quileute shapeshifters#quileute pack imagine#Jacob black sister#Leah Clearwater#Leah Clearwater x platonic!reader#leah clearwater imagine#Rosalie hale#rosalie hale imagines#rosalie hale imagine#Rosalie Lilian hale#Rosalie hale x reader
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📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2024 🗓📚
jumping on the hype train because it’s fun
How many books have you read so far?
35! I have been in a bit of a rut (or what qualifies as a rut for me) this year but there were some gems in here nonetheless
What genres have you read?
Lots of fantasy and historical fiction, but also significant amounts of romance. It's been a bit all over the place lately though.
Best book you’ve read so far in 2023?
My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh; a horrible, no-good, stuck-up wreck of a woman makes all the wrong decisions and hurts everyone around her and gets what she wants anyways. Iconic, funny, shocking, this book does it all. I just finished Eileen by the same author and it also did not disappoint.
A runner-up is American Hippo by Sarah Gailey, which I liked enough to give five stars and an effusive review but remember next to nothing about.
Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?
Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett. One of the only sequels I read this year, but hands down the best City Watch book so far (for the vetvimes alone).
New release you haven’t read yet, but want to
Apostles of Mercy by Lindsay Ellis!
Most anticipated release for the second half of the year
I haven't really been keeping up with my favourite authors' new releases, so none yet.
Biggest disappointment
The Weather Woman by Sally Gardner. Another case of stellar cover but the most disappointing piece of mainstream historical fiction I ever hope to read. I got queerbaited so hard (though it was partly my own fault) and the plot was painfully over-the-top.
Biggest surprise
Also My Year of Rest and Relaxation. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that.
Book that made you cry (or in my case, almost cry)
Loveless by Alice Oseman, even though I thought I was ready. The queer joy is just too much.
Book that made you happy
You Made a Fool of Death with your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi and Le jardin, Paris by Gaëlle Geniller both belong here. The first was a tender and heartfelt unconventional romance and the second was, once again, queer joy distilled into 200 pages of absolutely stunning illustrations. I highly recommend both, even if you have to read the second (as I did) in translation.
Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year
Velvet Was the Night by Silvia Moreno-Garcia; sadly another case of great cover mediocre book though.
How are you doing with your year’s goal?
Don’t have one!
What books do you need to read by the end of the year?
I really want to finish Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell, and maybe also Hild. Finally trying to read Gormenghast would also be nice :)
(and since they haven't done it yet I tag @maddiesbookshelves (but only if they feel like it))
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dailymotion
A teenage girl, frustrated and hurt by the cold indifference of her family wishes for escape. She enters into a fantasy world where no one and nothing can be trusted. The innocent are never safe, the beautiful turn out to be malicious and her friends are plotting against her. She is lied to, misdirected and constantly blocked by random obstacles. She is always in danger of being sexually exploited by a powerful older man, who tells her that it's all her fault. In the end, victorious at last, she returns to reality, which is so much fucking worse than anything she's been through so far. The final consolation is that she can always disassociate to escape.
What a perfect movie for children growing up in the '80s.
Well, not quite perfect. Sarah Williams, the main character, is 16, which is 4 or 5 years too old for the girl-coming-of-age plotline, and the whole thing is a bit too cutesy. Nevertheless, it is pretty accurate for a fantasy movie.
Some people get their panties in a bunch about the age difference between Sarah and the Goblin King, as if they were romantically involved. That's bullshit. The Goblin King is not Sarah's boyfriend. He's a predator. He doesn't want to marry her and live happily ever after - he wants to rape her.
I was pretty happy to watch Labyrinth with my kid a few years ago, when they were 8 or 9. They enjoyed the funny parts and were scared by the scary bits. They were satisfied by the ending. I, of course, was able to see shit that I hadn't seen before. It's dark, yes, but the best stories for children have always been dark. Go read Little Red Ridinghood - that's some dark shit. The Big Bad Wolf is Satan and you can bets your ass the threat of rape looms large in that story.
You want to talk about a late '80s fantasy movie that is problematic? Sit through The Princess Bride.
Twenty years after Labyrinth, Guillermo del Toro did Pan's Labyrinth, which is a much better version of the same story. Pan's Labyrinth stands alone, of course, but I think it benefits from familiarity with Labyrinth.
Addendum: I got some replies and Tumblr won't let me respond as Official Voice Of Generation X for some reason, so I'm doing it this way.
How the fuck you gonna tell me I'm reading too much into a metaphor? It's a fucking metaphor - reading shit into it is why it exists.
"16 is THE age for coming-of-age plot"? Really? Here's a couple other girl-coming-of-age stories for you - Little Red Riding Hood, Pan's Labyrinth. In both of those the girl is 10 or 11. The triggering event is the onset of menses, not getting a driver's license. All the other late '80s movies that portrayed teenagers - Heathers, The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink &c - showed them being sexually active, using drugs and dealing with serious issues like physical and emotional abuse, violence and mental illness. Labyrinth showed a 16yo girl playing with dolls. I was born a year after Molly Ringwald and a year before Jennifer Connelly. The Breakfast Club is a much more realistic portrayal of teens in the '80s than Labyrinth.
I'm pretty open about my trauma here, honey. I'm fuckin' Gen X - we're all fucked up.
Labyrinth and Pan's Labyrinth are both about girls who have infant brothers - representing their own maternal capabilities. In both, the girls have to face off against monsters to save their brothers. There are a lot of differences, but those two movies have a lot more incommon with each other than either does with Alice - which is also great.
The Goblin King wants Sarah to be his queen. He wants to have a marital relationship with her. He's an adult, she's a child. The actors were 39 and 16. In case any of this was unclear, the filmmakers made sure that the Goblin King's bulging crotch was prominently displayed in several scenes. Watch the ballroom scene - that's overtly sexual. Maybe you think a 39yo man coercing a 16yo girl into a marriage is fine, but I call that rape. And he clearly tells her it's her fault. The predatory older man is the standard villian in girl-coming-of-age stories because girls need to know what to look out for.
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Regrading Taskmaster: S06E07 Roadkill doused in syrup.
*Score changes noted in parenthesis.
Just gonna note -- Alex is really into weird glasses.
Prize Task: The Scariest Thing From Your Kitchen
With a ham sandwich, that's a ticking time-bomb. You don't know!
Mandolin. So many people have talked about injuring themselves on a mandolin. Sarah Millican brings one in later and talks about cutting off her fingertip. There's a pretty infamous Masterchef clip about it (maybe don't watch it if squeamish). Anyway.
Alice brings in "sweaty ham." So I'm not a stickler on "best by" dates, but I can tell when ham has gone bad because it gets sticky and I hate it. I would be hard-pressed to consume it, even when I need to eat. That said, "scary" is not the word I'd use for it. Asim brings in fanart that (1) has no association with a "kitchen" and (2) is actually kind of a good sketch. Plus, like . . . if someone makes you some art, don't blow up their spot.
Russell has a "doggy-cam" that he claims his girlfriend uses to spy on him. It's a decent offering. Good for his relationship? No. Scary? Yes.
Tim brings a door with bad hinges that hits him on the head. *deep sigh* Yes, it's technically a scary thing in the kitchen and slots just behind Russell so far, but like . . . c'mon. You're professional entertainers. There had to be something better.
Liza has a food processor with a fake finger in it. This gets a bit at my pitch of "mandolin," but it's actually plenty safe. It probably goes between Tim and Russell, but other than Russell, underwhelming.
Alice: 2 (0) Asim: 1 (-3) Liza: 3 (0) Russell: 5 (0) Tim: 4 (+3)
VT 01: Knock the bails off the stumps. You've got a maximum of one over. You must make your attempts from behind this stump. No stumps may be moved. Fastest wins.
Call me when I'm needed.
Some people have been playing cricket in the park near my house and I have tried to get them to explain the rules to me. It is not information that is compatible with my brain.
Alright, this one is tough. No bones about it, Russell knocks it out of the park. Simultaneously, he does step on the red carpet and cross the stump by the end of his follow-through. Gut reaction? Give it to him . . . but that might be because I thought it was cool.
The tricky thing here is the task combines cricket terminology with silly bullshit. It uses the word "over" but also lets them use weird balls and pull the carpet and whatever. So do you follow cricket rules or don't you?
I also briefly had the thought that it's not clear what "behind the stump means," but any reasonable person would recognize it means in relation to the target.
Look, no one did it like they were playing cricket and no one argued the outcome. Studio scores it is.
Alice: 0 Asim: 0 Liza: DQ Russell: 5 Tim: 4
VT 02: Draw a picture of the contents of this box. You may not open the box or look inside.
Mahatmabra Ghandi!
There's a great debate about why Alex made the bra wet. I subscribe strongly to the theory that Alex was making the joke that "wet" is the opposite of "sere" and he always gets them mixed up, but who knows?
There's no win condition on this one! They get a bonus point for naming the David Attenborough pun, but that pretty much leaves it up to Greg to decide the thing is going to judged. I think a reasonable person would assume that the win condition would be "most accurate wins."
So, three items. We split the task into thirds and determine if each person accurately drew the item. Quality of the drawings would then be the tie-breaker.
Liza nails two and I'd say her drawing of Michelangelo's David is passable. Alice has the same issue with the David statue. I'd call it passable but worse than Liza's.
Asim -- I'd give him David (and it might even be more accurate than Alice's). I'd even give him the bra, despite looking like "a pair of glasses." I will not give him the hat.
I think I'm only calling the bra accurate for Tim. He seemed to recognize there was a man in the box, but there needs to be some recognition that it's David. Like even just adding a leaf. I'm also only giving Russell credit for recognizing the bra. I will break the tie in favor of Russell because I can imagine a hat in his drawing and I cannot do that with Tim.
So, Alice and Liza three of three, but Liza's is better. Asim two of three. Tim and Russell one of three, but Russell's is better. Add in the bonus point and this is what you get:
Alice: 4 (0) Asim: 3 (+2) Liza: 5 (0) Russell: 3 (+1) Tim: 1 (-3)
Team Task: Write down as many obscure animals as possible. Guess the animals your teammate has on their list. Your teammate must only use mime. They may not write anything down or show you the list.
Blue dog. That famous breed.
You couldn't imagine a better way for this task to turn out than what Asim did. Writing down fictional, insane animals and then he still is somehow able to convey them to Tim and Liza.
Here's the thing . . . Russell makes animal noises for at least two animals and we don't see the full eleven. They're only allowed to mime. I'm hesitant to treat it as a full DQ condition because Alex is in there and confirming when they can move onto the next guess.
I think the way to handle it is DQ two of Alice's guesses, which puts them at nine correct guesses and the team of three at eight correct. This is all academic, though. No score change.
Team Funk: 3 Asim, Liza & Tim: 2
VT 04: Wearing this sweatband around your head at all times, tuck as many items from the kitchen inside the sweatband as possible. Then make a pancake with a diameter of at least nine inches. Then eat the whole pancake. Most kitchen items successfully kept within the sweatband wins.
Weirdly you managed to leave a whisk, two spoons, and a spatula in there, which are the things you need to make a pancake.
No DQ conditions, but two things needed to complete the task: making and eating a nine-inch pancake. I suppose you could also argue what the minimum qualifications are for "being a pancake," but they all get close enough, so let's not get into it.
Alex does tell them there's a time limit on tucking things into their sweatbands, which is not on the task but is enforceable if he says it then and there (rather than afterwards like when we Joe Lycett taught us the show was a scam).
Alice loses her mind for a brief moment and intentionally shakes all her items out. Her sweatband also drops to her neck, which might not be the head, but close enough.
There's even a more pedantic debate as to whether a container of sprinkles (hundreds and thousands) qualifies as one thing or if you need to count every sprinkle. However, there's a more fundamental issue in that people didn't finish their pancake.
The thing said "eat the whole pancake" and the win condition was about items in the sweatband, not how much of the pancake was eaten. Russell's plate is clean by the end of it, so that would mean he's the only one getting points.
Alice: 0 (-2) Asim: 0 (-3) Liza: 0 (-5) Russell: 5 (0) Tim: 0 (-5)
Live Task: Get an egg as close to the center of the target as possible. You must stand on the spot when taking your turn. You must ROLL two of your eggs. The person whose egg is furthest from the center of the target after each round is eliminated.
He's not necessarily eliminated. Oh fuck off, Alex.
Russell reaaally shouldn't have started with the egg he cockishly broke. You get more points the longer you last and you're not gonna last long with that one. The strategy here is to save rolling the Ostrich egg until the end.
As with all elimination tasks, I can't really regrade because I don't know how people would have done in later rounds. Studio scores it is!
Alice: 3 Asim: 5 Liza: 2 Russell: 1 Tim: 4
F I N A L
Alice: 12 (-2) Asim: 11 (-4) Liza: 12 (-5) Tim: 15 (-5) Russell: 22 (+1)
Main score changes here due to my reading in a condition in the pancake task. Broke his egg, but he wins again.
#tm regrade#taskmaster#alice levine#asim chaudhry#liza tarbuck#russell howard#tim vine#greg davies#alex horne
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