#and rom is actually named roma

[katyahina]

Decided to doodle some height comparison with the main Byrgenwerth scholars! This dabbles on the idea that Micolash and Rom used to have brown eyes, and they became blue after their intro to Kos (or some say Kosm)

Also, I finally grew enough balls to draw Julie accurate to her character data. I already draw all chatracters with ‘bald’ hairstyle with their data color whenever I picture them when they still had hair, so it is only more consistent. She does look better with brown hair I tend to draw her with, though, so... let’s presume she dyes her hair sometimes, okay? Using natural ways like herbs or fruit.

[cuntylouis]

Armand and the Romani

I’ve mentioned many times now that I think it would be really interesting and fitting if Armand in the show was Romani and that’s my personal interpretation of his character until proven otherwise. I don’t think it’s necessarily very likely going to be canon, especially when writers rarely remember Romani people exist, but like I’ve said this is like the only show in the world I think could be smart enough to understand how deeply the history of race and racism in Europe (which we know they’re going to address) is intertwined with the history of the Roma people, so you never know. I’ve seen an interesting theory that Armand could be a Tatar and I think that’s the most likely route they’re going to go, but I think him being Roma or some other ethnicity is still a possibility. Furthermore, because of the Roma people’s unique history he could actually be both Tatar and Roma at the same time, especially if he’s from Ukraine like in the books (more on this later). I wanted to elaborate on why Armand’s character and IWTV in general resonate with me so strongly, why I think Armand being Roma could bring a lot to the show and fit thematically, and how if Armand had a Roma background it would influence the way he acts.

Just as a foreword this post is long as HELL as I’ll be talking about Roma people with an assumption that most readers don’t know much about them, and it involves heavy generalization by necessity. I want to emphasize that Roma people are a very heterogeneous group that have very diverse experiences and practices depending on where they live, my experiences don’t apply to all Roma, and I’m not speaking for all Roma. I don’t know much about the Roma in France or Ukraine (which would be relevant for this conversation) other than what google can tell me and I don’t really trust it because much of the information you find on the internet is written by non-Roma people. So when I say something is a part of Roma culture, I mean really that it’s in my subjective experience a part of the traditional Roma culture in my country. The customs may vary a lot even between families in a same region, and the modern Roma and those with mixed ancestry (like me) don’t always follow traditions. I feel I need to stress this because there are a lot of (often negative) misconceptions of the Romani and I don’t want to further contribute to them or just replace them with different misconceptions. Content warning for discussion on sexual and racial violence and the Holocaust.

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The history of the Roma people

The Romani (also called Roma, Rom and other variations) are a traditionally nomadic ethnic group originating from the northern India. The Roma are often confused with other itinerant people like Irish Travellers and the Yenish but are a separate group. Note also that the word ‘gypsy’ is considered pejorative and most Roma people dislike being called that, and the Roma have nothing to do with the country of Romania, the names are etymologically unrelated. The Roma people are divided in many different subgroups, and many facets of the Roma culture are easier to understand if you know that it was originally a clan culture like many nomadic cultures.

The Romani diaspora has spread to everywhere in the world (the biggest Roma populations are in U.S and Brazil) but is the most concentrated in Europe where they came through Persia in the Middle Ages, with most European countries today having a Roma minority of 0,5%-8%. The Roma population is estimated to be 10-15 million, but nobody knows for sure because many Roma aren’t included in censuses, many Roma people choose not to disclose their ethnicity due to discrimination, and some people who have Roma parentage don’t identify as Roma. The Roma identity is strongly tied to the community. A person who’s adopted or marries into a Roma family may in some cases be considered Roma regardless of their ethnic background, and an ethnically Roma person who doesn’t have connection to the Roma community and doesn't follow traditions might not be considered a real Roma (in practice the latter situation is much more common than the first one). This is relevant when talking about someone like Armand who if we follow the books was taken from his family when he was young and adopted by a white man. Regardless, the Roma are Europe’s largest ethnic minority. I don’t think statistics really matter in a fantasy horror show but it would be the most likely scenario for someone with Armand’s appearance who was born in the 1500s Europe to be Romani.

I assume the show Armand’s character and story may be largely similar to the books based on what we’ve seen, him just having been older when he was turned into a vampire, though it's unclear is he still from Ukraine. In the episode 2 we see him refer to his prayer in a language that Daniel thinks is ‘Kazakh, or 'somewhere in the Crimea’. Wikipedia suggest that it’s actually Uzbek, though we don't know does it mean Armand is definitely from Uzbekistan. Regardless, him using this language without even thinking when talking about his praying makes me think it may be his mother tongue, and we’re probably meant to think that he’s from the Eastern Europe/Central Asia region. I’m personally suspecting he could still be from the Ukraine region like in the books considering they had Daniel think of Crimea. Him using the name Armand Marius in France which is essentially a patronym also makes me think that he could be from a Slavic country. If he was Roma or from other nomadic tribe he could’ve also easily spent time in several countries. Although there is Romani language that is related to Sanskrit, most Roma speak as their native language whatever is the majority language where they live. Many Roma speak multiple languages, especially if they’re nomadic. From what we’ve seen of Armand speaking, Assad does a great job at making his accent vaguely sound like many different accents but not quite like any of them.

One of the ways the Roma are a unique group is that they’re one of the very few ethnicities in the whole world that don’t associate themselves with any country or place. Typically, even other nomadic peoples have some distant homeland or place they see themselves as connected to. The Roma don’t feel connection to any specific country or place; they have no homeland and they don’t want one either. Although in people’s perceptions the Roma are practically synonymous with free-spirited wanderers, most Roma in the modern time are sedentary, and historically when the Roma people have wandered it has often been because of persecution or trying to make a living, not by choice. Freedom and independence are important values for the Roma people, but more in the sense of being allowed to be themselves and live how they want, not necessarily physical roaming. It’s much more common for Roma people to dream of stability and having a home and secure job than of being able to wander.

Many of the perceived modern problems among the Roma can be traced to the change of work and industry from the late 1800s to the early 1900s. The industrialization and urbanization made most traditional Roma professions such as blacksmiths, craftsmen, horse traders, animal trainers and travelling salesmen and entertainers obsolete. Even though there was always prejudice against the Roma they also used to be respected for their expertise on those areas and there was positive interaction with the majority population too. Then suddenly they lost the chance to practice their old professions but lacked societal and monetary capital to learn new ones, which led to mass unemployment and poverty that still exists today. This not fitting in the modern society is a common Roma experience. In the books I feel this is reflected when the vampire characters seek ways to connect with the modern world and humanity. Armand sees Louis as such possibility, but as he in the end tells him ‘You are as cold and distant from me as those strange modern paintings of lines and hard forms that I cannot love or comprehend.’

The Roma people are defined by the dichotomy of being perpetual outsiders who never fully integrate anywhere, and on the other hand being chameleons who adapt anywhere. They often adopt the customs, language and religion of the majority population, while maintaining their own. The Roma have likely been in Europe for at least thousand years, and the earliest records of them are even older. Despite this the Roma have arguably never been fully a part of any wider society or fully accepted. It can be talked about the Roma society rather than just the Roma culture, because the Roma people often form almost a separate parallel society wherever they live. It’s common that the people from the main population don’t have any Roma friends while the Roma people don’t have any friends in the majority population, and the Roma may have little interaction and connection with the wider society. The Roma have been ostracized, but because of this long ostracization the Roma also don’t trust in the society around them and may try to limit their interactions with the majority population. As a Roma you can feel like you live behind a veil that separates you from the rest of the world and you can’t really touch and see each other. Many Roma experience the sense of profound loneliness and of rootlessness, a feeling like you don’t have the past or the future and nothing really matters. Everything above makes Rice’s melancholic, drifting, existential vampires very relatable to me.

The Roma people have been and still are associated with crime, dishonesty, uncleanness and supernatural. The Roma have often been accused of witchcraft, satanism and stealing children. Depending on the time and place people have tried to either banish or forcibly assimilate the Roma. In many countries it was legal to kill a Roma person without impunity. Historically The Roma have often been slaves or otherwise forced into labor or prevented from moving freely. For example, in Romania the Roma were kept in chattel slavery for centuries over 500 years until 1860. The first Roma in America arrived there as slaves too. Interesting in the context of the show, Spain sent Roma slaves to their Louisiana colony and at least according to Wikipedia there is an Afro-Romani community in St. Martin Parish due to intermarriage of African American and Romani slaves (I would’ve been interested to read more about this but couldn’t find much online sources). In the books Armand was abducted by the Tatars to be sold as a slave. Nowadays the term Tatar is used for different Turkic ethnic groups, but historically it was used to refer to anyone who came from the Northern or Central Asia (Tartary). The Roma people were also commonly known as Tartare/Tattare, as they came from the East too. Coincidentally some Roma are thought to have arrived in Europe as slaves of the Tatars or the Mongols. At the same time the Crimean Roma and the Crimean Tatars have a very close and unique history to the point that the Crimean Roma are commonly considered a subgroup of the Crimean Tatars. So it would actually be possible that Armand is both Tatar and Roma, especially if he comes from that region!

2. The Romani culture and relations with other people

The Roma people are often highly fetishized and oversexualized, and viewed as promiscuous and manipulatively seductive, which can also be seen in how Roma characters are depicted in popular culture. Roma people continue to be victims of sexual assault and trafficking at very high rates. Roma women are often assumed to be prostitutes or sexually available. When you see news about human trafficking in the Eastern Europe, both labor and prostitution, the victims are often Roma even though it's rarely mentioned. Many consensual sex workers are also Roma, but most of them likely wouldn’t be sex workers without poverty and if they had other opportunities. Roma children experience sexual abuse much more frequently than children of the majority population, and they're often viewed as more mature and manipulative than they are. This all reminds me of how in the books Armand was sexualized by nearly every person he comes across even when he was a child or teen. Taking Roma children from their families to exploit them or to assimilate and ‘take the gypsy out of them’ in one way or another has always been common, nowadays this often happens in the guise of child protection. Here in Finland even 50% of the Romani children in 1950-1980 were placed in state care institutions, and this continues to happen in many countries. The less fantastical version of what Armand went through with being abducted and sold and exploited by everyone including his ‘savior’ who tried to sanctimoniously civilize him is what has happened to countless Roma children over the centuries.

The traditional Roma cultural practices can be considered (when heavily oversimplifying) to be built on three pillars that are connected to each other: respecting elders, concepts of purity and impurity, and honor and shame. Most cultures probably consider respecting old people important but in the Roma culture this is deeper and more extensive than usual. Older people are treated and spoken to with very high respect, people often address even their own parents with the formal ‘you’. Being older is on itself seen as a sign of authority and younger people must always listen to their elders. This respect shows up in everywhere in daily life in both practical and symbolic ways, older people take the food first, if the house has more than one floor the younger people don’t live in the rooms above older people, shaking hands with or sitting next to an older person may be considered inappropriate because they imply an equalitarian relationship etc. It’s very difficult for a young Roma person to say no to an older person or express anger or anything that could be seen as disrespectful. The Roma culture has anarchistic qualities because the Roma don’t necessarily acknowledge the state’s authority, and intracommunity hierarchies are quite fluid and decentralized, but the older people’s higher status over the young ones is seen as obvious and natural.

Cleanness is another aspect that is very central to the Roma culture, in both literal and symbolic sense (ironically, since the Roma are often seen as dirty). The Roma don’t expect non-Roma to follow or even be aware of their complex system around it (mentioning this because I know some people fear that they accidentally offend Roma if they do something wrong lol). The Roma consider the body above the waist ‘pure’ and below it ‘impure’, and things that touch them are kept separate, and all objects are categorized according to their perceived cleanness. For example, when you come from the grocery store the shopping bag can’t be put on the floor or chair, you can’t sit or lean on the table, hats and shirts are not put on chairs, if a kitchen utensil falls on the floor it may be thrown away instead of washed because it’s now considered unclean etc. Kitchen is the purest place and is kept as clean as humanly possible. The clothes of men and women and people of different age groups are washed separately. When a Roma person grows old they become ‘pure’, and people are particularly considerate not to tarnish them, for example a younger person can’t sit on an older person’s bed and if they sleep in the same room their feet can’t pointed at the older person’s direction. In some circumstances an impure person may be temporarily or permanently banished from the community. The importance of cleanness in the Roma culture goes back to preventing illness in the traditional nomadic lifestyle, and it’s speculated possibly to even further in history in India where the Roma people’s ancestors’, the lowest caste Dalits, responsibility may have been to handle corpses and other unsanitary jobs.

Contrary to the stereotype the Roma are usually highly modest and anything ‘below the navel’ stuff (sex, pregnancy, periods, bodily functions) is rarely discussed. The Roma men and women don’t talk about them at all with each other if they aren’t a couple, and parents don’t usually talk about sex or dating with their children. Casual sex is disapproved. Oral and anal sex are considered unclean. Although Roma people often marry very young (sometimes underage) it’s usually with people of the same age group, people of distinctly different generations having romantic or sexual relations or even talking about sex with each other is a taboo. For example, if there’s something sexual on television the younger people may leave out of respect if there are older people in the room. A pregnant woman may hide it even from her own parents. Much of the Roma customs focus on ‘keeping face’ and maintaining respectful relations with the other Roma and their surroundings and avoiding anything that would bring shame, and this shame can touch the whole family.

Now if we come back to Armand, if he’s a Roma that adds a new aspect to his trauma, especially pertaining to sexual abuse and his relationship with Marius. Sexual abuse and grooming like that are hard to for any child to process, and especially difficult and confusing it would be for a Roma child, when in the Roma culture older and younger people even talking about sex is seen as offensive and older people’s wisdom and authority are seen as absolute. When in the Roma culture sex itself is taboo and wrong kind of sexual activity can make you ritually unclean it would further worsen the trauma that started from his kidnapping and cause immense shame. Since the old people are considered purer than young people a Roma child might also feel like they’re soiling the sexual abuser and blame themself. Death and touching dead bodies is considered unclean as well; a vampire would always be ritually impure. The way Armand is exposed to sex in Venice is pretty much the polar opposite of how sex is treated in the Roma culture. In the books we see Armand struggle with his complicated feelings about Marius and how he resents him but can’t still stop loving him and seeking his approval, or often can’t even express his negative feelings openly. I think it sounds familiar how many Roma people want independence but still feel obligated to respect their elders even if doesn’t always feel right.

I think this respect for elders also shows in how Armand treats Daniel in the show. He’s quite polite towards him and very considerate in trying to make sure he’s comfortable. Although Armand is in his servant disguise for most of the season 1, he notably keeps talking to Daniel in a pretty similar way after he drops his disguise. This maintaining the appearance of respect even when you’re angry at the older person is typical for Roma people. Armand is chronologically much older than Daniel, but Daniel is still physically an elderly person which is seen as automatically deserving high respect in the Roma culture. Armand and Daniel possibly having some sort of romantic relationship in the past complicates their dynamic.

3. The Romani from the WWII to now

It's hard to convey how extreme the prejudice and hate towards the Roma people is still in the 2020s Europe. Majority of people have highly negative views on the Roma. In the polls most respondents say they don’t want to work with or employ Roma people and wouldn’t want their child to date anyone who’s Roma. Majority of the Roma live below the poverty line, often in segregated slums around cities or villages in countryside, many of them without electricity or running water or access to other basic services like healthcare. Depending on a country the life expectancy for Roma people is 7-20 years smaller than for the majority population. Housing for Roma people has been a big problem for a long time, with many Roma being homeless or living in subpar settlements that the officials often destroy and force Roma to move. Nobody wants to rent or sell to Roma people or be their neighbor, so the Roma population often segregated from the majority population. Illiteracy is still common. Many Roma children don’t go to school; if they do, they’re often put in special classes or special schools where they’re separated from other children and receive substandard education. If they receive proper education they can’t get a job because nobody will hire Roma people. Many companies and places refuse to let Roma people enter. Hate crimes and police violence are common. As a Roma you can feel like you’re leprous, nobody will talk to you or come close to you.

Typical for anti-Romani racism is that people don’t see it as real racism and consider it justified and something that Roma people deserve. There also isn’t much difference how left-wing and right-wing people view Roma. Racism against Roma people is widely accepted and normalized regardless of political affiliation. In Europe the Roma are singled out and many people who aren’t (at least on conscious level) racist towards other ethnicities still despise Roma people. A case that has stuck with me and I feel embodies how the Roma are dehumanized is from Naples, Italy in 2008 where the beachgoers continued their day sunbathing and picnicking near the bodies of two drowned Roma girls. Though anti-Roma racism exists everywhere, it’s where the European hypocrisy is its most obvious. The Europeans often talk about the history of racial segregation, slavery and ethnic cleansing in other places like it’s something distant and absurd to us, when systematic segregation continues to be everyday to Roma people here in the present day.

The position of the Roma people is unique because much of the discourse around racism in Europe is focused on immigration and assumptions that people of color always come from 'somewhere else', but the Roma’s ancestors have often been here as long as the white Europeans’ ancestors. Racism against the Roma people predates the modern concepts of race, scientific racism and the modern imperialism and colonialism. The Roma are a large group that certainly hasn’t been living in an isolated bubble separate from the rest of the world and they’ve had a significant influence on the Europe’s culture, but they and their suffering are often invisible and many people are completely ignorant of it. The Roma have oral tradition and there are few Roma politicians, journalists or scholars so they lack platform to make their issues known. The Roma have become a sort of permanent underclass in Europe.

We know that the s2 takes place in the 40s in the immediate aftermath of the WWII and deals with it in some capacity. The hatred towards the Roma people can be seen as having culminated during the WWII when anywhere from 250,000 to 2 million, or 25% to 80% of the European Roma were killed during the Holocaust. The figures vary so much because the Romani genocide is severely understudied, we don’t know how large the Roma population was, and there weren’t as meticulous records of the Roma victims as there was of the Jewish victims. The Romani genocide (sometimes called Porajmos) has often been treated as an afterthought but for the Roma people it was absolutely devastating. The Roma were classified as racially inferior and were killed in concentration camps and in shootings by mobile killing squads. Roma people were often sterilized and used for medical experiments. In some countries like Croatia and the Netherlands practically the entire Roma population was destroyed.

After the war there was little sympathy for the Roma. Many Roma became stateless refugees, and Germany didn’t acknowledge what happened to the Roma as genocide until decades later, which prevented the survivors from seeking restitution. The post-war trials didn’t cover the crimes against the Roma people. Attempts to assimilate the Roma and wipe out their culture continued in many countries. There still isn’t widespread acknowledgement and understanding of the Romani genocide and how it’s a direct cause for the Romani people’s current situation, even within the community. Deep poverty, illiteracy and lack of education and social institutions has led to there not being full consciousness and collective memory around the Holocaust among the Roma like the Jewish people have.

What happened to Roma varied a lot from country to country. France has always been rather hostile to the Roma, and it was also a ‘forerunner’ in the modern racial discrimination against them because it started to register Roma in the early 1900s and giving them ID cards that categorized them differently from other travelling workers. During the World War II some French Roma were deported to nazi-run concentration camps like Auschwitz, but most were detained in internment camps in France that were created under the nazi authorities but run by the French authorities. Although not technically extermination camps, their living conditions were similar to concentration camps and thousands of prisoners died from disease and hunger. After the German occupation ended the internment camps stayed in operation until 1946, two years after the liberation. The special Roma ID cards were used until the late 60s. Some people have noted how in the show Santiago seems to work as the ‘front’ for Theatre des Vampires while Armand stays in the background. I think it’s likely related to their races in any case, but this arrangement makes sense especially if Armand is Roma because it would be very diffcult for any company or organization to be openly led by a Roma person in France during the WWII, and the years preceding and following it. Even in the 2020s many people and companies refuse to do business with Roma people, and back then it would’ve been dangerous. Also, whether Armand is Roma or not, many people are probably going to assume he is when seeing a South Asian looking French man, so that’s going to be in subtext regardless.

I think all this would make Louis strongly sympathize with and relate to Armand – and also to see him as more vulnerable and less dangerous than he really is. However, Armand might not see the things in the same way. After Louis is turned he still feels on personal level engaged with what is happening in the society and feels anger over injustice and continues to see black people as his people even when he becomes increasingly distanced from the community. But when a Roma person is taken away from the Roma community they’re not necessarily perceived as Roma by other Roma or even themselves. You might never become a part of the wider society either, you just become ‘no one’. Armand might not think of Roma as ‘his people’. Because the Roma already see themselves as outcasts and separate from the rest of the world and people, for someone who becomes a vampire that could mean complete emotional disconnect.

Perhaps because the Roma perceive themselves as separate from the wider society, it’s not typical for Roma people to be interested in politics or activism or influencing the wider society at all. This is a big generalization because of course there are Roma activists and Roma organizations, especially since the 70s, but by and large Roma people tend to be more or less apathetic towards politics and analyzing the forces behind it. Many Roma don’t vote (and needless to say many countries make it difficult for them) or participate in politics in any way. Political movements, rebellions and revolutions mean nothing to the Roma people. Every so-called revolution or change either has had no influence on the Roma people’s life or made it worse. The Roma people don’t trust non-Roma people, and the organizations and movements have usually been uninterested in involving Roma people anyway. As someone who is interested in politics and activism when I try to talk about stuff with any other Roma person I often get a ‘why does this matter’ or ‘what does this have to do with us’ reaction. The Roma are very used to their situation because they can’t remember or imagine it ever being different, and they often have an attitude that could be described as ‘it is what it is’. Armand might not feel similar anger Louis feels. Armand’s indifference and distaste towards societal institutions is reflected in the books too:

Armand would also perceive his own and Louis’ race differently than Louis does. For the Roma the world consists of people who are Roma or non-Roma (Gadjo). The Roma don’t really make differences between different races, they’re all Gadjo. When Armand meets Louis he would see him as a Gadjo man before black man, which I imagine could start to feel invalidating in the long term. The Roma tend to be sympathetic towards any outcasts and accepting of different people, but I think many Roma are also rather ignorant of different cultures and struggles, and they don’t necessarily feel automatic connection with different racialized people. The Roma perceive their experience as unique and something non-Roma people can’t understand. In the end all this means the way Armand views the world could actually be closer to how Lestat views it, and Louis might not find the solidarity and understanding he's hoping for.

4. The Romani family, kinship and spiritual practices

Religion and spirituality are very important to many Roma people. Here in Finland most Romani are deeply religious, much more so than the majority population that is pretty secular. Most Roma are Christians or Muslims, mostly different Christian sections in the Western Europe and Islam in the Balkans. The Roma in Ukraine are mostly Orthodox Christians or Muslims, so that would fit too if Armand was raised as a Muslim and didn’t convert later. Relationship with God, seeking forgiveness and sense of purpose, and someone who accepts you as you are, are something that Roma people commonly long for. The Hunchback of Notre Dame should never be used as an example of good representation and I swear this is the last time I’ll ever mention it anywhere, but I always thought this song captures surprisingly well something of how many Roma people feel. Armand’s intense and desperate relationship with religion and the spiritual struggle he and other characters go through is something that is very relatable to me.

With the lack of social structures, stability and purpose, for many Roma people the family and faith are the two most important things in the world. Without them the Roma have nothing. I think this is painfully clear with Armand who was separated from his family and culture, raised by a man who abused and then abandoned him, and literally lost his humanity and connection with God. Both other characters and Armand himself often describe him as this endless empty, hungry void that he is always trying to fill himself with something. Armand is prone to cult mentality and being manipulated in his intense yearning for emotional and spiritual connection.

I think Assad described Armand well when said he isn’t well-versed in the language of love and romance, but he does want it desperately. The Roma’s approach to romantic relationships is complicated because the strict rules of modesty around sexuality mean that they’re not usually explicitly discussed and even married couples avoid showing any affection in public. Historically Roma people have often been prevented from getting officially married so they have developed their own marriage rituals that vary by a country. Although the Roma take their relationship commitments very seriously legal marriage isn’t usually seen as important in the Roma culture and Roma couples may not get married at all legally.

The Roma are also one the very few cultures where in some countries like Finland the institution of marriage doesn’t really exist. The Romani here may get married sometimes but it’s seen as entirely unimportant and doesn’t have any bearing for the relationship, there usually isn’t a wedding or any rituals associated with marriage. A couple who’s committed to each other is seen as having the same status as a married couple. My paternal grandparents have been together for over 50 years and have never been married. Louis’ relationships with both Lestat and Armand would be considered marriage in the Roma culture. Because there aren’t well-established rules of dating and courtship in the Roma culture, forming romantic relationships can be difficult for Roma people. I’m thinking of Armand deeply wanting love but the way he approaches it often being awkward or offputting.

Family is the most important thing and the center of life in the Roma culture. The Romani culture is traditionally patriarchal and considering the importance of age, in practice the ‘leader’ is usually the oldest man of the family. The women’s position is complicated. Men and women are considered to be equals in the Roma culture and older women and their opinions are respected like with older men. Divorce is usually acceptable and isn’t seen as shameful, many older Roma women I know also have children with more than one man and it isn’t seen as a big deal. The ideal Roma woman is intelligent and emotionally and physically strong. At same time there have been and often still are distinctly divided roles for men and women in the Roma culture. Women are responsible for taking care of everything in the household and men for everything outside the household. The man of the house listens to their wife and children’s opinions but he has the final word. Men are expected to be the providers and protectors of their family and it’s something they base a lot of their identity and self-worth around – the most important thing really. I feel we can see a dynamic like this with Armand and Louis - Louis obviously isn’t a woman but he’s much weaker and younger (again, age being very important in the Roma culture). When watching s1 you think Armand is a servant, but if you look any closer, even without knowing it’s a performance, you notice what’s actually happening is that Armand is organizing and taking care of everything in their life. Later he tells Daniel how he’s protecting Louis like always with such a pride.

Another thing I think is worth mentioning that from my experience in the Roma culture physically disciplining children or women is and has been less acceptable and normalized than in the Western and many other cultures. It just isn’t done much, even my grandparents have said they don’t remember their own parents ever hitting them. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t domestic abuse in the Roma families, sadly it’s common in some regions, but it isn’t usually seen as normal and acceptable by the community. The Roma don’t like to involve police but there are many cases where an abusive man has been banished from the community. Also compared to many other cultures it can be less difficult for a woman to leave the man if she’s mistreated, since divorce is accepted and independence valued. I would say that when in most European countries there has often been an attitude that as a man you have a right and even responsibility to hit your wife and children, in the Roma culture it has been more like ‘a real man doesn’t do that’ and if they do they try to hide it. Roma men often perceive themselves as being more respectful towards women than Gadjo men are. When you combine all this - patriarchal society, older men having power over their family being seen as a normal and good thing, but disapproving overt violence within family – I think it would be very easy for Armand to convince himself he isn’t abusing or hurting Louis and is treating him right and being better than Lestat.

Art is very central to the Roma culture, especially music, dance and artisanship, but also other forms like painting and theatre. The first known records of the Roma people already refer to them being musicians.  Travelling theatre companies like the one Lestat run away with when he was young were often formed by Roma people. Armand was a talented painter and his love and search for beauty is something that always remains in his story. I found it interesting that this s2 Claudia poster was seemingly inspired by Carmen, one of the most famous Roma characters, and maybe flamenco dancers in general (flamenco being developed in the Roma culture). It tells me that they seem to at least be aware that the Roma people exist if nothing else.

The Roma appreciate beauty and the finer things in life, sometimes in a way that can appear materialistic to the non-Roma people, but the Roma themselves don’t perceive it so. It’s not uncommon that the Roma who’re poor or even homeless still own some jewelry or a nice car. If the Roma people are actually rich they like to show it and are generous in sharing it. Wealth has often been unattainable to the Roma people, so if they have it they don’t see a reason to hide it. Historically the Roma also haven’t trusted banks so they prefer to keep their wealth in physical form. With Armand who grew up in poverty you can see how he appreciates luxury and likes to shower his loved ones like Daniel and Sybelle and Benjamin with it too (again, being a good provider is very important for the Roma men). Sidenote this is another reason why I think the Dubai house’s sterile minimalist interiors were not Armand’s idea because no Roma person in the world would ever decorate their house like that lol.

The way the Roma people traditionally dress differs from the majority population, and their appreciation for beauty and wealth is visible in it too. The clothing has been a way for Roma to show their identity to both other Roma and other people. The rules of modesty influence the Roma people’s traditional clothing and they often avoid showing knees and elbows and the shape of the body. Younger people often wear lighter and older people darker colors. Especially Roma women have dressed in very distinct ways depending on their tribe, for men it’s usually more subtle. The typical Roma men’s every day clothing includes suits, black or white dress shirts, loosely fitting black trousers, vests, hats, ruffles and golden jewelry. Armand’s styling in the show both in the flashbacks and Dubai caught my attention. While there’s nothing exclusively ‘Roma’ in his outfits almost all of them could easily be worn by a Roma man. Most likely it means nothing but knowing how good costume designer Carol Cutshall she would probably try to be accurate.

In the Roma culture referring to dead people by their name and showing their pictures is avoided. Traditionally the remaining family moves out from the house where they lived with the dead person, and the person’s belongings and images are burned or otherwise destroyed after their death (at least in Finland this is still sometimes done). It’s out of respect but I think it’s also a response to generations of trauma where there has been so much death and suffering that Roma people need to forget and move on so they can continue living. In the books Armand treats death in the same way; when he loses someone he stops talking about them, sometimes even thinking about them. When he’s abducted he doesn’t mention his father (who he assumes is dead) again and forgets even his own name, because the child he was before he was taken doesn’t exist anymore. Despite being so needy he often just leaves things behind and keeps on moving, like when he simply walked away from Louis. The Roma aren’t prone to nostalgia and they don’t like wallowing in the past or worrying about things that might or might not happen either, it’s all seen as a luxury they can't afford. It still doesn’t make it just disappear. The deep hidden sorrow that Armand and many other characters of the series always carry with them resonates with me as a Roma.

*

Lastly, I want to emphasize this is all just random theorizing and I’m happy regardless of whatever Armand’s background ends up being! I also know some Roma don’t want Roma portrayed in fiction made by non-Roma people at all because they don’t trust it to be done well. There’s also a problem with Roma characters usually being played by non-Roma. IWTV is an exception to me personally because I have an unusually high level of trust in this show’s writing, I love and relate to Armand’s character, and I think Assad Zaman looks like he could believably play a Roma man instead of the usual casting of a white person who looks ‘exotic’. However, like I said in the beginning there isn’t any proof Armand is actually going to be Roma and for now this is just headcanoning and speculation for fun. I also want to say that I hope I didn’t give an impression that Roma people’s life is like constant misery because that definitely isn’t true! There’s a tendency to see the Roma only through their problems when there are plenty of happy and successful Roma people and there has been improvement in the Roma people’s situation even though it’s slow. I also think one of the Roma people’s strengths has always been that they can find joy and humor even in hard circumstances.

If you got to this point I salute you thank you for reading!

[katyspersonal]

Rom might not even exist as an individual character!

In Japanese, she is Roma! Countries such as Poland have a female name like this, but also it is written in the exact same way as a word to refer to Romani. Rom is also fought multiple times - in the lake, in a preset dungeon, and in randomized dungeons! I myself pass it as Rom being immortal and having physical and astral body split (like Queen Yharnam). But... as a BOSS she is like Amygdalas - a type of Great One, not a singular.

Miyazaki also could have referred to the specific spider in the lake as she, so it is A she, not THE she. Byrgenwerth notes just say 'Byrgenwerth spider' never mentioning her name - so what if Rom is NOT a name? Corpse Ebrietas is crying over? Could have been a priest that used to care for her (since Ebby is said to be abandoned Great One). Or maybe it was once her mother since Ebrietas is adolescent celestial larvae (Arianna's baby type). And Rom being a scholar in Byrgenwerth is not canon, it is just what everyone assumed based on her location!

The title of this boss is also strange one, and ironically one shifting more onto 'an individual' theory. Localization chose word 'vacuous' but original word, 'hakuchi', literally means 'mentally disabled'. Think of being called idiotic spider but as a legit "diagnosis" and not an insult. So, Micolash saying 'as you once did to the vacuous Rom' might mean that Kos blessed the ancient folks rather than one person. Yeah, this IS where things get a plot hole, because even under assumption of there being *intellectually inferior folks within the lore - the last time I checked, Romani were nothing of sorts gfjghfj No, but seriously. If that was the case, they'd made up a name for folks. However, it might be that not people were 'idiotic', but their spider ascension specifically! That knowing literally everything creates some strange sort of nirvana that is as good as losing intellect - you don't need it anymore if you learned everything, haha. And for Micolash such fate is apparently desirable... Would make sense for a madman. The boss is called 'hakuchi no kumo Roma' in Japanese with kumo being spider. So yeah, again, localization made it sound like a single person, but in original? Spider might be used as adjective for a type of a Great One.

The one, ONE thing that can't be questioned is, again, consistency of being off-brand. They never say Chikage originates from or Yamamura comes from Japan - they say "distant land". Same with first Hunters of Hunters originating from Tibet-coded place that is also just a foreign land. So why would they break the mystery and use real word all of a sudden? Would be more likely if they made up a name for people and subtly coded them as Romani. They use real individual names but don't use names of real places, people and alike, they just... don't.

So yeah, all in all, existence of Rom is in fact held on an extremely weak glue. The only thing we REALLY have is consistency of how things are referred in Souls settings, so assuming she just has female middle European name (like 90% of the characters) might me more palatable. Or she is named that for a Haha Funny because Willem is just like a pope... so he is with 'Rome'... xD I mean, Rosaria from Dark Souls is named Rosaria :facepalm: And Willem WAS going to be 'husk of Micolash' in development, whereas Micolash WAS going to be leader of the Church... But that is still debatable.

I just think this is another moment to appreciate how much cool stuff fandom can do based on a hasty assumption and make a character that might not even exist! Reminds me of all cool stuff that happened when Undertale fandom just assumed that Mysterious Man sprite WAS W. D. Gaster. Situation where not thinking about lore enough actually turned out to be good!

[scarlet--wiccan]

Avengers #57 was not only failure, but a refusal to represent vital Romani history in spite of the identities-- and stereotypes-- it invoked.

As Jason Aaron’s Avengers expands the history and mythology of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, readers have been introduced to several new characters from several different time periods. Issue #57 introduced us to Sergeant Sebastian Szardos, an American military officer who had a brief tenure as Earth’s Sorcerer Supreme during World War II. Sebastian is a distant relative of Margali Szardos, who most readers will remember as Nightcrawler’s adoptive mother. The Szardos family are, notably, Romani, and like most Romani characters in superhero comics, they have deep ties to witchcraft and mysticism.

Sebastian makes frequent reference to his Romani ancestry, but rather than identifying as Roma, Rom, or even g*psy, he simply claims to have “witch blood.” What’s more, the character is fighting literal German Nazis, but the comic makes no mention of the fact that the Nazis actively attempted to commit genocide against the Romani people during the Holocaust-- something which should color Sebastian’s viewpoints and motives regarding the war.

Why does this matter? For one thing, the Szardos family already have a number of racially charged, problematic elements in their narrative, so doubling down on these exaggerated stereotypes is not a great look. More importantly, however, Holocaust distortion and the erasure of Romani history are serious, ongoing problems in the real world that still cause actual harm today.

Romani people are constantly being written out of Holocaust and WWII history. The European Romani population was targeted for ethnic cleansing, interned, and executed in camps. Families, like mine, were separated and many had to go into hiding. We suffered enormous losses, but you almost never hear about it in history books, memorials, or even present day news coverage. [compare this article vs this one] In the UK, recent legislation has all but outlawed Traveler and Romani ways of life, but the majority population fails to understand that we are a marginalized and oppressed community. History refuses to name and acknowledge anti-Roma racism, and historical narratives refuse to give voice to Roma who were present and suffering during pivotal moments such as the Holocaust.

Margali Szardos, who first appeared in 1980′s X-Men Annual #4, was a single mother who was able to raise three children by working as a fortune teller. She’s also a practicing witch.That, in and of itself, is not an unrealistic story. Fortune telling has, historically, served as a survival-based trade for Romani families, especially women who were unable to seek more conventional jobs. Witchcraft and folk medicine fall into a similar category, and so Romani witch characters like Margali are not necessarily false or offensive. The problem here is that Margali wasn’t written as a Romani woman with an authentic witchcraft background-- she was written as a witch whose Romani background serves only to add exotic flavor to her story. When you add the fact that Margali is often morally bankrupt, and there’s a lot of weird colorism happening with her biological kids, the material poses a lot of problems that no writer has ever really tried to fix.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I’ve recently seen posts encouraging people to support Romani/Roma people in the Balkans and that’s supreme!!! With that in mind, I wanted to post about how the Roma identify in Greece (I repeat, this is solely for Greece). The dominant voices on this site are from the US, so we mostly hear about the identification of Romani / Americans with Romani heritage. But what is used by the Rom in Greece might surprise you.

I will use “Rom” as the proper identification for Roma/Romani in my text. For non-Rom people I will avoid using the Romani word gadje / gadjo / gadji, as it’s derogatory towards non-Rom people (it means “being of lower social class”, “barbaric”, “peasant”, used in a belittling way). I see Rom from other countries here using it often and that’s perhaps the meaning has been lost for them, but I don’t feel comfortable using it. In some Rom communities of Greece there is still some belief that being “pure”/”true” Rom by blood ratio is better, and I don’t want to enforce that either.

For the non-Rom I won’t use the words balamos (μπαλαμός) (m) / balami (μπαλαμή / μπαλαμοί) (f. / pl.) either because it means “White” and we all know that is a complicated issue for this site. But it’s worth mentioning that Greeks are usually considered “Whites” by the Rom of Greece, so balamos (m) / balami (f. / pl.) apply. I use the term “non-Rom”, as I think it’s better suited for an English text and for readers of different cultural backgrounds.

I will also use the full words of identification and slurs for educational purposes only and with no ill intent. If you don’t know much about Rom identification, you can’t know what words not to use if you don’t see anything more than the first letter! (And also “just google it”, especially for information on the communities of Greece, rarely helps foreigners). Also, whatever I am writing comes from my own experiences and may not apply to all the Rom communities of Greece.

The popular identification and self identification of the Rom in Greece is  tsiganos (τσιγγάνος) (m), tsigana (τσιγγάνα) (f), tsigani (τσιγγάνοι) (pl.). Yes, I know, it’s the word Rom from many countries tell you to never use. And please, don’t use it for Rom from the US or anywhere else Rom don’t want to be called that! But in Greece the identification has stuck and it’s not a slur (as of 2021). In fact, it’s currently acceptable for Rom and non-Rom to use in private and public life. This is how they introduce their heritage, or, if offer a service/sell anything they have made, they use the term to describe it - when speaking in Greek.

I will give examples from a PDF availiable online, the Greek-Romani Lexicon, written by the Rom (and Rom speaker) Ioannis. Georg. Alexiou. (2000s) (Find it >> here <<). He has collected phrases and words from different Rom communities in Greece and he includes the entry Τσιγγάνος (tsiganos) as simply meaning “Rom” and. He repeatedly uses the word Tσιγγάνος for any Rom (seen in the pic) , “Τσιγγανιά” for “Romanipen” (seen in the pic), and “Τσιγγάνικη” to describe the language, when he describes in the Greek language.

One of the many examples is the introduction of a Rom contestant in Greece’s Next Top Model (2020), where she identifies herself as “tsigana” and the other Rom women as “tsiganes” more than five times (0:13, 4:23 ++) and there is also no problem when non Rom use the term for her in front of her (5:12, 7:04, 7:08 ++) Yes, the judges are not the most knowledgeable people when it comes to the Rom culture(s) in Greece but I am using the example for demonstration purposes. Also notice all the people in the comments who use it naturally (search the words “τσιγγάνα”, “τσιγγάνοι”). No, they are not hate comments and they don’t use it as a slur. (Google translate exists, just translate them to make sure). >> Link to the video <<

Using it is not offensive to the Rom of Greece. It’s likely the most suitable word, as of 2021. (You will see later why the other terms don’t apply that much and/or might be confusing). Tsiganos is a word like any other, and yes, it can be used in a derogatory way, the way the word “woman” can be used in a derogatory way by sexists. It’s only about the tone and intent, and not about the etymology of the word. And, speaking about the etymology, you might already know that the word “tsiganos” comes from the Greek word αθίγγανος (athiganos) can mean “untouchable” / “not to be touched”. But it might not have come from the (indeed) bigoted Greeks around them.

The Greek philologist Dikaios Vagiakos (Δικαίος Βαγιακάκος) tells us that Athigganoi was called the religious group Melchizedekites (Manichaists) or Katharoi in Greek (”Clean ones”). The Athiganoi were practicing divination, and so it came that whoever was practicing divination at the time was also called Athiganos. (The word just stuck and the meaning left, because a divination practitioner wasn’t considered actually unclean). When the Rom came to the area, they also practiced divination, so they also were given that name. (Source in Greek - sorry it was super hard to find anything in English, as many parts of Greek history are obscure to the world).

No matter the origins, people in Greece (including the Rom) rarely know what it means (if you live in Greece, you must be very interested in linguistics to dig it up), as the meaning has been been lost in time for the Greek residents. It’s like the world “girl“ (κοπέλα) in Greece, which comes from the word “slave”, but Greek speakers use it because they have forgotten the meaning and have no idea where it comes from.

Roma (f) / Romis (m) / Rom (m. / pl.), Romalen (pl.), is many times the term the Roma of Greece use to refer to themselves in their own language (Romani / Tsigganika). In this article (where the word tsigganos / tsigganikos is again used casually, as various Greek articles) we find the word “Ρόμης” for the Rom man (and it can also be used as “husband”).

Greek speakers don’t use "Rom” and when they hear it they mostly get confused. “Rum” was the name of the regions were Greeks lived inside the Ottoman empire so that complicates things further for Greek speakers, as Rom and Rum sound very similar. What is more, the Hellenic region of the Byzantine Empire was called Romania, adding another “Rom-” to the Greek history.

“Roma” (singular and plural) is gaining popularity amongst the Greek Rom and Greeks alike. But still falls far behind “tsiganos“.

“Gyftos” (Γύφτος) (”Gypsy” in English) is a negative/derogatory term for the Greek Rom. Implying someone is from Egypt is not bad on its own, but the word has been weaponized against the Rom of Greece by the Greek speakers. What is also important, is that a lot of times “gyftos“ ISN’T meant to describe a Rom. This doesn’t make it any less of a slur against the Rom, but let me explain its other use. Greeks often use it for dirty, homeless people (and not those who beg for money necessarily). Of course, that is probably because historically the Greeks saw Rom people that way, and then they attached the stereotypical negative traits to other people. What is peculiar is that I’ve heard Greeks say “gyftos is the guy you see with rags on the street, Greek or not. The nomadic people are called Tsigganoi! It’s a different thing!”. So yes, anyone, even a super pasty Greek can also be called “gyftos”. It’s just worth mentioning that some Greek speakers have the word “gyftos” detached from the Rom (because meaning is lost and diverted as time passes) and so if you hear that word from a Greek, better ask them what they mean and if they know the origins of the word. There is a chance they might not actually know.

To my knowledge, the word “Romani” is not often used to identify a Rom person in Greece. I’ve only heard it for the language. But, again, I can’t know what happens in all Rom communities of Greece (and there are many, with different linguistic influences). “Romani” as someone’s identification is very slowly gaining some popularity among the Greeks because it’s used in nearby countries - and even because of the influence from the US. But still, it’s mostly among the Greeks and not the Rom. (At this point, I should also say that many Rom feel Greek and most have a Greek citizenship, I just that that distinction inside the Greek borders for simplicity’s sake.)

That’s all! Keep in mind that the identification of Rom in Greece might change the next decades, so always be aware of the changes and, if you can’t find any information simply ask the Rom person how they wish to be called!

>> Anyone can interact but if you are not part of or not close to a Rom community of *Greece*, I advise you against of trying to “correct” anything. This isn’t about your experiences or ways of expression. It’s about the Rom of Greece.

>> Rom from Greece or/and people close to a Rom community of Greece can, of course, add or correct stuff - always with respect to Rom sources and voices from Greece.

[fantastic-nonsense]

 @overthinkingfangirl: One sec, you think dick is a white boi

I think he was concieved of, written, and drawn as white for 99% of his appearances except for an extremely racist and poorly-researched 3-issue arc+1 backstory issue by Devin Grayson (a woman who freely admits she sees Dick as “white, but other”) that both never actually established him as part-Romani and was promptly retconned the second she left, and then the reboot erased any conceivable claim DC might have used to actually call him Romani (since his father’s family tree was used for the Court of Owls storyline and his great-grandfather was a white man named William Cobb who got White Gotham Heiress Amelia Crowne pregnant). Then it was re-retconned in (again) but was only referenced in an extremely surface-level fashion. At no point in his history has Dick’s ethnicity actually made an impact on how he grew up except in one, single issue (written by Devin Grayson). It’s a heritage fun fact at this point, the equivalent of an American kid from Pennsylvania learning their great-great grandma was an Irish immigrant who came over during the Potato Famine.

His original creators once brought in his Nice Normal Middle-Class (white) relatives to try and take pre-Crisis!Dick away from Bruce, post-Crisis pre-Devin Grayson!Dick traced his heritage to (white) England, and post-Flashpoint!Dick is now inherently tied to Gotham, the Court of Owls, and the (white) Founding Families of Gotham through William Cobb and Amelia Crowne. 

At the most, Dick is a white-passing Rom who has very little if any knowledge of or connection to his ancestral heritage. The fandom keeps trying to project Dick as like...accurate or effective Roma representation when he’s not, and it does a disservice when at most he’s characterized and treated as (to paraphrase Devin Grayson’s own racist words on the subject) a “spicy white person” by those authors. It’s not even that his heritage ‘is rarely ever brought up’, it’s that one writer (the same writer that had him raped and then refused to call it rape, mind you) wrote an attempt at making him vaguely part-Romani at some point in his family tree and then it wasn’t brought up again after that writer left DC Comics except for a cursory ‘has Romani heritage’ mention in a single New 52 comic, a few vague references in the Rebirth run, and a “he has has his mother’s Romani smile” comment last year. It also does a disservice to the multiple non-white Batfamily members that routinely get ignored in favor of this fan-elevated-but-canonically-irrelevant interpretation of Dick’s heritage.

Anyway that’s my spiel as someone who’s read a frankly ridiculous amount of comics featuring Dick Grayson over the years, thanks for coming to my TED Talk

[permian-tropos]

okay, sorry, imsame anon, i did some research and found out another name (roms/romanies , рома in russian) but i actually NEVER heard it in usual life. i think its time to change it, probably

On this matter, it truly is best to follow whatever the Russian Roma people want to do, of course. 

[thejacketandthehook]

The Art of Pretending 4/?

Title: The Art of Pretending 4/?

Author: thejacketandthehook (aka everystareverywhere)

Summary:  Killian Jones needs a family and needs one now. In order to impress his boss, Killian hires a single mother and her son to pretend to be his wife and son for the weekend. Nothing can go wrong, right?

Rating: Teen (for language)

Words:  13,479

Author’s Notes: Hello all! Here is my submission for the @captainswanmoviemarathon! This is based off of the Lifetime movie, “Borrowed Hearts,” starring Eric McCormack and Roma Downey. The movie came out in 1997, and I consider it to be one of the first made-for-tv Christmas movies.

A couple of years ago I was watching it and thought this would be a fantastic scenario for our favorite Captain and Savior. I wrote it and then stopped, and then started it again, only to stop again. When I saw this movie marathon, I knew instantly this was the movie I wanted to do and I wanted to make sure that I finished it this time.

I hope you enjoy it!

A30

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3

TWO YEARS AGO

Emma laughed heartily. “No, no, no, please, Mary Margaret, please tell me you didn’t say that!”

Her best friend was laughing so hard, that she had one hand on Emma’s arm and the other on the table. “I did, Emma. I did –Oh! David’s face turned so red!”

“You threaten three guys that looked like Vikings!” Emma laughed harder. She wasn’t sure if it was the story that was so funny, or the fact that she had three glasses of rum and coke that just made the story funny. “I’m sure David saw his life flash before his eyes!”

Mary Margaret took a deep breath, trying to control her laughter. Some giggles still came through as she said, “But I told you, I’m an excellent marks—mark—marksmmm—I can hit something really well.”

Her four glasses of margaritas were certainly making it harder for Mary Margaret to get her words out, but Emma laughed anyway.

She looked down at her phone and when she noticed that Neal called again, she groaned.

“Neal?” Mary Margaret asked as she raised her (fifth) glass of margarita up to her lips.

“Yeah. Guy can’t take a hint.” I don't want to talk to him."

“Maybe you should just…I don’t know? Ignore him?” she asked in such a way that she wasn’t suggesting it.

Emma sighed. “I wish I could, but--”

“But Henry, yeah." She sobered up before asking, "I thought things were getting better, yeah? Like, I thought you kind of liked him again.”

“I did. But—”

Mary Margaret reached out and grabbed Emma’s bicep. She opened her mouth to say something, looking dead into Emma’s eyes, when she squeezed the bicep again and looked down at it. “God, girl, when do you work out? You’re toned as hell.”

“I’ve got a demanding job and a six-year-old. I work out to relieve stress.”

Mary Margaret let go of Emma’s arm before raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t Neal supposed to help relieve stress too? Or someone else, at least.” she asked with a suggestive wink. Or, at least that’s what she was going for, but it was more like a blink.

“You’d think,” Emma snorted. “I don’t even know the last time I got any ”

“And you’ve haven’t even been married for ten years for that to fizzle out.” Mary Margaret was certainly more direct when she some liberations in her. “I take it there is no spark any more.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Sparks are from Romance novels, and movies made in the 2000s. Nobody has sparks.”

“David and I have sparks.”

“You and David are in another category that no one else will ever live up to.”

Mary Margaret shook her head, and Emma knew that she was going to give her some hope speech that, in all honestly, Emma probably heard about three hundred times already. Before she could fully launch into her speech, Emma grabbed her bag from the table and told her best friend she needed the bathroom.

She walked (more like stumbled) towards through the bar, excusing herself when she bumped into someone and shook her head as she thought about her best friend and her husband. Another category, indeed. Mary Margaret and David made falling in love (and staying in love) look so easy. And while life for Emma Swan hasn’t been easy, love has been even worse.

Just thinking about Neal made Emma so mad she was seeing red. Her thoughts on Neal and how much she currently hated him consuming her, that she stumbled once more into the bathroom door. Only it opened as she fell and a pair of strong arms grabbed her around her waist.

“Aye, watch it love,” said a voice she wasn’t sure she actually heard before. Mainly because it sounded like music to her ears, but also because whoever this man was spoke with an English accent. Kind of like the Tenth Doctor, from Doctor Who. That kind of accent.

“Sorry,” she muttered as she gathered herself. Once she was standing up (semi) straight, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and almost gagged on her spit. For standing in front of her, leaning down just a tad so he was able to look in the eye with no difficulties, was a movie star.

Okay, not really a movie star, but one that certainly looked like he should have been on the main guy in a rom-com. With piercing blue eyes, dark hair, and a five o’clock shadow she was sure would be rough to the touch, he might as well have just walked off of a set.

Emma hadn’t seen herself in a while, but she knew that her mascara was probably rubbed all over her eyes, and some of her make-up was in need of a touch up. She’d count herself lucky if her long blonde hair actually looked good, instead of looking like it needed a good brushing (like it usually did by this point in a night).

“Well, well, well,” the man smiled down at Emma, and Holy. Shit. Seriously, where did this guy come from? “What do we have here?”

“A girl who needs the bathroom,” she insisted.

The man’s smile turned more into a grin. “Of course. What kind of gentleman would I be if I blocked the lady from her destination?”

He didn’t move, and Emma wasn’t steady enough on her feet to push him. “Dude, let me pass.”

He shook his head a little, as though he was lost in thought, and said, “Right. Of course,” and step aside.

Emma walked towards the door and as she went to close it, realized he was still standing there. “What? Are you going to protect me from any dragons?”

He laughed. “Dragons? Lass, what kind of bar do you think this is?”

“Well, you never really know,” she retaliated. “Some dude might be standing in front of the bathroom so he could try to flirt with someone who needs to pee.”

He laughed, and Emma swore she heard bells ringing. “I believe that, yes.”

Who is this guy, Emma thought to herself. She shook her head as she closed the door. A part of her hoped the guy would still be there when she opened it, while the other part of her hoped he was long gone. She didn’t know which side was winning.

When she was finished and opened the door with a paper towel, sure enough the guy was still standing there.

“My hero,” she joked as she took a step into the hallway, holding onto the wall for good measure.

He grinned again, and Emma wished her heart didn’t pound at the sight. Good Lord, this man just grins at her and her heart beats faster than when Neal actually touched her.

“I’m a gentleman,” he retorts.

Emma chuckles. “Sure. Right. A gentleman.”

His grin falters as he asks, “You doubt me, love?”

Leaning a little closer, almost pointing her finger in his face – she might actually be in his face, her equilibrium is completely off right now –she mutters, “You look more like a pirate than a dashing prince.”

She leans back, taking in his whole body, and good Lord, what has she gotten herself into? Wearing a dark button-down shirt with a navy (could be black too, it’s hard to tell in this hallway that isn’t too well lit) vest over it, and dark jeans, this man certainly looks like he walked right out of romance novel. Only, he’s the bad-boy-mama-warned-you-about.

Emma licked her lips. The fact that she herself didn’t have a “mama” who could warn her about anything didn’t faze her right now, like it usually does. This man (and the alcohol) seem to have that effect on her.

“I prefer a dashing rapscallion,” he smirked, a small dimple appearing on his cheek.

And he has dimples?! Emma’s mind screamed.

She shook her head at him, “You’re something else, I tell you.”

He smiled at her, and she was sure that the room tilted just a tad. “I get that a lot.” Looking at her lips before looking back into her eyes, he commented, “Don’t I get something for protecting you against the dragons?”

Her mind was foggy, but now it was crystal clear. It was her turn to smirk. “Really? You ‘protect’ me against imaginary dragons, and you want a favor? What kind of gentleman are you?”

“We discussed this, love,” he said, taking a step closer to her and almost whispering. “A dashing rapscallion.”

Emma could feel the heat in her cheeks, and her heart was pounding in her ears. She didn’t want to admit that this man (whatever his name was), has gotten her more excited in the last ten minutes than Neal has in the last few years.

“You couldn’t handle it,” she flirted.

He raised an eyebrow and watched her carefully. “Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it,” he whispered back.

Looking him in the eyes before looking at his lips, Emma made up her mind before she could fully register it. Grabbing his shirt tightly, she pulled him closer to her and smashed her lips against his. And as much as she wanted to admit that he was all talk, he most certainly was not. His lips moved with hers in a rhythm that she has never been able to establish with any other guy she has been with. It was almost like he knew she wanted, which was impossible, because they never even met before.

She kissed him harder, her hands letting go of his shirt to work their way around his neck. He, too, was busy, his hands first around her waist before one hand went into her hair and gently, oh so gently, held onto her golden locks like they were his life-line.

He went to pull back, but Emma took a step closer to him (any closer, honestly, and she would actually be in his pants) and pulled him back in. He didn’t protest, but instead kissed her back even harder.

Finally, the need for air was too great and Emma leaned back, her forehead just grazing his. He was breathing just as deeply as she was, his hands running smoothly though her hair.

“That was—” he started before Emma’s phone rang.

She let go of him and pulled back completely before taking her phone out of her back pocket. It was her babysitter.

“Shit,” she muttered, reading the text. Henry had a nightmare and was crying and calling out for his mother. She looked back up at him, and, though she couldn’t fully tell thanks to the darken hallway, he certainly looked rumpled and a bit…well, almost dazed. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“I—” he started, but she was already backing away.

“Sorry, I don’t usually—This is an emergency.”

Before he could say another word, she was out of his arms and turned back towards the bar. She located Mary Margaret and told her what happened (about Henry, not about the guy she kissed passionately a few minutes ago), before leaving the bar altogether.

She never saw the guy again.

Until now.

Emma shook her head, trying with all of her might to move on from that night. Because, while Killian was…quite something, it was obviously a one-time thing, and she needed to just…forget it.

Unfortunately, it would pop into her mind at the most inconvenient times, like when she was in the shower, making breakfast, or –

“It’s overflowing.”

Quickly looking down, Emma realized that this person’s water glass was most certainly overflowing. Grabbing napkins from the table adjacent to it, she soaped up as much as she could before telling the patron that she was going to get a towel. Once she returned and cleaned up the mess, with more apologizes, she turned back to the kitchen.

“You’ve been awfully distracted lately. Something on your mind?”

Giving a quick glance her way, Emma saw the wolfish grin. Shaking her head, and focusing (seriously focusing) on measuring the correct amount of sugar into the containers, she replied, “No.”

Ruby chuckled. “Oh, Emma. You might be able to tell when people are lying to you, but you are a horrible liar yourself. Girl, just talk to me. I know you want to.”

“And I know that I want you to do the job that I pay you to do,” Granny said from behind them. Emma almost kissed her for saving her from this conversation. “Get back to work, Ruby.”

“Yes ma’am,” she replied in a huff, obviously disappointed that she’s not getting the information she clearly wanted.

Emma shook her head before muttering to the older woman, “Did you tell her?”

“It slipped out. I’m sorry. The second it came out of my mouth, I knew that I made a huge mistake.”

Of course, Emma had to tell Granny why she wouldn’t be working on her two busiest days of the week. She tried to make it sound classier than it truly was, because Emma wasn’t thrilled with the idea of being paid to pretend to be married to some dude.

Though, people do pretend to be other people for money. It’s called acting. Still, it made Emma a bit uncomfortable. Though, it might have something to do with the fact that she’s kind of, in a small way, attracted to Killian.

But she wasn’t too worried about that part. Because it would only be for 48 hours – less than that really, when you take into account that for 16 hours of that they will be asleep. In different bedrooms. Like it should be.

Emma was walking into a disaster.

“Think nothing of it,” Emma insisted to calm the woman’s nerves. “I’m sure that it would have come out sooner or later.”

“You need Friday, Saturday, and Sunday?”

Emma sighed. “Well, Friday afternoon. Closer to evening. I’m taking Henry over right after I pick him up from school.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Um,” Emma bit her lip, unsure of how to even continue. “We need to prepare. I…Henry and I need to get outfits ready and bring some things from the apartment to make it look…Well, to make his house look like home, if that makes any sense.”

Granny nodded. “Makes perfect sense, actually. Though they better not ruin that hair,” she said, gently touching Emma’s golden locks.

She gave a small laugh. “I don’t think they’re going to change that. No, I know he’s hiring some people to dress me and Henry up, for a lack of better term. So it looks like…”

“Like you come from money?”

“Or at least married into it, yeah.” Emma put down the sugar container and the cup she was using to measure it, and whispered to Granny something that has been bothering her. “It’s just…Granny, I don’t think I can act. You know, like I have money. I have been barely able to get by with what I make here. Tips included. I don’t think—”

“Emma Swan, you don’t need to act like anyone else other than yourself. If Kevin –”

“Killian,” Emma corrected.

But Granny ignored her and kept talking. “—Doesn’t appreciate that your saving his ass from whatever the hell it is that he got himself swept up in, honey, you march right out of that house and don’t you dare look back.”  

Emma laughed. “I’ll do exactly that.”

~*~

“David, what in bloody hell is going on?”

Killian came home to find…well, just about everything in his house was gone. His expensive couch, gone. His formal dining room, gone. All of his old books, gone. Instead there was a couch that was probably expensive, but it looked worn in, with two winged chairs on either side of it different colors, but still kind of looking like a set. His long table gone, instead there a slightly smaller table with chairs that aren’t in perfect condition. His books (he hopes were put into storage) are replaced with books that range from Jane Austen to J.M. Barrie along with some pictures of Emma and Henry, Henry growing up, and one photo that was photoshopped of Emma, Henry, and Killian all smiling on the beach. Killian picks that photo up and if you look at it really closely, you can see that it’s a fake, but otherwise he might have thought this actually happened.

“Hey!” David said, coming out of kitchen with a bag of chips. “Yeah, we’re just moving the furniture around, trying to make it look like a family.”

“And where is my actual furniture?”

“In storage.  Don’t worry, I didn’t throw out your precious First Edition of Moby Dick.”

“I don’t have a –” Killian looked at the huge pile of toys in the corner of the room and gestured to it. “David?”

He looked at Killian before shrugging. “Dude, you’re supposed to have an eight-year-old boy. Just be glad if it actually stays in that pile.”

Killian shook his head before putting both hands on the sofa in front of him (and damn it, it’s actually really soft). David wrapped the bag in of itself before placing it on the table behind the couch and asking, “Just what did you think this weekend was going to entail? We need to make it look real. So why do you have a stick up your butt?”

“I don’t know. I just…I thought I was living a good life, you know, and then…I realized it was, how did you say it? Cool.”

“You know that I love your house,” David defended.

But he waved him off. “Aye, I know. It’s not that. It’s just…maybe I haven’t been living my life the way I expected. Bloody hell, I’m almost thirty-five and I have to pretend to be married with a kid. I’m not even dating anyone to make it seem real.”

“Look I know you and Emma just met—”

“We met two years ago.”

David was silent before saying softly, “That’s right. And I don’t want to know, right?”

“I didn’t sleep with her, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Yeah, I definitely heard enough,” David said, getting up from the couch. He moved to grab the bag of chips off the table before he said, “You know that if you hurt her, I’m going to hurt you, yeah?”

Killian nodded. “Understood.” Putting his hands in his pockets, he rocked on his heels once, twice, three times before stopping and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Okay, mate, when will this be done?”

David had a box of his own on the coffee table that was labeled Photos in a handwriting that was very much not David’s. He didn’t recognize it, though it did look feminine. If he had to wager, he would bet that it was Emma’s box.

Taking a picture frame out of the box, David sat down on the couch before putting his hand back into the box and taking out a smaller one. Once that was opened, he pulled out a stack of photos and Killian almost groaned at the thought that now they were going to have to go through that bloody pile of photos so it would look like Emma and Henry lived in the house and weren’t just visiting.

“Not sure,” David responded distractedly. He was looking through the pile, one by one, before finding one that seemed to appease him. Flipping the six by four frame over, David opened it up before placing the photo in it. Once he was securing it, he continued. “The movers said they only needed a couple of hours, and Regina claims they should have everything in place by ten o’clock.”

“Tonight?” Killian looked at his watch. It was barely past five. That means they were going to be in his house for another five hours? Bloody hell.

Getting up and taking the frame with him, David placed the photo on the bookshelf before going back to the couch to take out another frame and pick out another photo. Killian wished that he had a glass of rum on him, or anything really that had alcohol in it, because holy hell, this was going to be a process, wasn’t it?

“Why do you seem so shocked?” David asked as he sat back down. “They’re trying to make it look like a family lives here, especially one with a kid. Do you really not know that children have a lot of things?”

Killian walked over towards the photo David placed on the shelf. “I’m sure I did—Bloody hell!”

“What?!”

Killian turned back towards David, the picture frame in his hand. “Why is there a photo of Emma, Henry, and myself standing in front of Cinderella’s Castle?”

“Oh,” David sighed, relieved that that was all it was. Killian was just about to loose it, but luckily his friend was eerily calm. “They photoshopped that. To make it look like you took vacations together. You know, as a family.”  David stopped what he was doing and focused on his friend. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem sort of…jumpy.”

“I’m not jumpy,” he yelled, but when the response was only a raised eyebrow, Killian decided to answer a little more truthfully. “I kind of am, I guess. It’s just…mate this is a big deal. One that might not come around again, and I…I don’t like being dishonest. It’s one thing to win your battles, but it’s another to win fairly.”

“You think that just because you’re pretending to have a family that you have a leg up over the competition?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I think it’s also that I don’t really know Emma or Henry, so how can I--?”

“Oh!” David sat up straight, his eyes wide, an idea forming in his mind. “We should have you three sit around.” Before he could explain further, David grabbed his phone and began typing something rapidly.

When his friend got up off the couch, his phone still glued to his hand, Killian sighed and sat down on the vacate seat. He leaned over the box and saw a picture that must have been a real one. It was Emma and a much younger Henry, probably not even four-years-old, sitting in front of a Christmas tree. Emma was smiling down at the boy who was grinning at the camera with a missing tooth and a toy car held tightly in his lap. Killian focused on Emma’s face, the loving way she was looking at her son and sighed.

He knew, without a doubt, that he was in way over his head.

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2018

I neglected to write this list up this time last year, so I’m catching up! 2019 is soon to come.  Every Movie I Watched in 2018

The number in parentheses is year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite first watches of the year. 

01 So I Married an Axe Murderer (93)* possibly the most early/mid-90s film ever made. Centre parted hair, slam poetry, pre-tech boom San Francisco, Steven Wright cameo?!

02 The Florida Project (17) first theatre movie of the year came early!

03 The Long Goodbye (75)

04 Call Me by Your Name (17) I and some friends made an effort to see movies we thought might be oscar-nominated this year, so there’s a few of those coming up. 

05 LA Story (91)* a forever rewatch

06 Personal Shopper (17) Feels like there’s a thin veil between K Stew and the characters she chooses.

07 I, Tonya (17)

08 Comfort and Joy (84) 80s Glasgow!

09 Faces, Places (17) made me want to pick up a camera again

10 A Futile and Stupid Gesture (18)

11 Creed (15) not for me. 

12 Black Panther (18)* I found this lost a lot of its lustre the second time around. 

13 Ghost (90)

14 Youngblood (86) Rob Lowe and Patrick Swayze hockey movie filmed in 80s Toronto? Sign me up!

15 The Living Daylights (87)* basically sometimes I want to see a Bond film, and really any of them will do. 

16 Brigsby Bear (17)

17 The Ice Storm (97) 

18 Disclosure (94) strong competition for Most 90s Movie, this time set in a Seattle CD-ROM company. One of those movies I remember staring at the cover of, in the movie rental place. 

19 Saturday Night Fever (77)*

20 Barry Lyndon (75) God, the look, the costumes, the performances! This killed me dead.

21 Fried Green Tomatoes (91)* Another forever rewatch!

22 Howard’s End (92)* rewatch prompted by watching the new series version. 

23 Sense & Sensibility (95)* keep those costume dramas coming...

24 The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (01)*

25 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (02)* 

26 Breakfast at Tiffany’s (61)*

27 Paterson (16)

28 Three Kings (99)*

29 The Talented Mr Ripley (99)* 99 was a good film year...I’ll go to this version of Italy anytime. 

30 The Equalizer (14)

31 Paddington (14)

32 Paul (11) the initial charm doesn’t carry the movie through til the end.

33 The Virgin Suicides (99)*

34 Friday the 13th (80)

35 Sea of Love (89)

36 Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (18) a great opportunity to shed some tears in a movie theatre.

37 Star Wars: The Last Jedi (17)*

38 Wild (14)

39 Housekeeping (87) love me a Bill Forsyth, as you can see. 

40 Predator (87)* if it bleeds, etc

41 Close Encounters of the Third Kind (77)*

42 Fever Pitch (05) the US remake...

43 Fever Pitch (97) ...the UK original 

44 Bridget Jones’ Baby (16)

45 Stand by Me (86)*

46 Three Identical Strangers (18) 

47 Mission Impossible: Fallout (18)

48 Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (11)*

49 Election (99)*

50 The Killing Ground (17) utter brutality in the Aussie bushland

51 Eyes Wide Shut (99) never saw this at the time, and thought Nicole Kidman’s perspective was more important within the film but GUESS WHAT, IT ISN’T

52 Repulsion (65)

53 Crazy Rich Asians (18)

54 Halloween (78)* the start of Spooker Season

55 A Star is Born (18)

56 The Hunger (83)

57 Annihilation (17)

58 Scream (99)*

59 Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (98) this was...terrible

60 Halloween (18)

61 Deep Red (75) one of the better Argentos, imo, but no Tenebrae

62 Dead Ringers (88)

63 Rocky Horror Picture Show (75)*

64 Silence of the Lambs (91)*

65 Nosferatu (22)

66 The Italian Job (69)

67 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (01)*

68 Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (02)*69 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (04)*

70 Gangs of New York (02)* Wow, I hated this! If I never see sweaty Leonardo DiCaprio again, it’ll be too soon. 

71 Shirkers (18)

72 Terminator 2 (91)*

73 Little Women (94)*

74 The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (18)

75 Life Itself (18) this movie has left my mind ENTIRELY, wow did it even happen?

76 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89)*

77 Home Alone (90)*

78 Gremlins (84)* turns out I’d forgotten more of this than I remembered??

79 The Shop Around the Corner (40)

80 You’ve Got Mail (98)*

81 Mr Smith Goes to Washington (39)

82 Widows (18)

83 Roma (18) I did see this in theatre, so the surround-sound experience was in full effect. 

84 Ghost Stories (17)

85 200 Cigarettes (99)

DOCUMENTARY:FICTION - 3:82

THEATRE:HOME - 11:74

I had no idea I’d watched so many movies from 1999 this year! It was certainly not done on purpose, but that year had some great movies. Spooker Season was a particularly strong one this year, too, with ten horror/spooky movies over the course of October. It’s always interesting to me to see how many comfort viewings vs more challenging fare that I manage to watch in a given year (probably correlated to how many times I was sick and/or had a rough work day). 

Every TV Series I Watched in 2019

01 The Crown S2 - the difficulties of royal marriage are a strong theme in this season, but there’s also some great sister-sister material between Elizabeth and Margaret. 

02 Lady Dynamite S2 - too weird to live, I guess?

03 High Maintenance S2 - this is the second HBO season, and the first one that really tries to grapple with high-level world events, in this case Trump’s election, spoken about as if it was a natural disaster.

04 Queer Eye S1, S2 - I’d never seen the original series, so this was my first exposure to the concept. It aims for pathos, but you have to accept a pretty rosy world to get into it. Easier to enjoy before any of the boys had book deals/got Milkshake Duck’d.

05 Love S3 - still watching for Bertie, I love her.

06 Collateral - thorny British political police procedural, ultimately pretty forgettable, barring Carey Mulligan’s performance. 

07 Alias Grace - the Atwood adaptation that people *weren’t* talking about. It’s great, though!

08 Atlanta S2: Robbin Season - Atlanta got weirder, more idiosyncratic, and even better in its second season. 09 Barry S1 - Barry got a lot of plaudits this year, and while I really liked the cast, and the plot was engrossing, something didn’t stick for me, and ultimately I didn’t watch the second season. 

10 Howard’s End - it is a truth universally acknowledged that most books are better adapted as a miniseries than a single movie. Not that I hate the ‘92 movie, but this gets deeper into the class relations than it ever could. Plus: TIBBY!!

11 Killing Eve S1 - the series that hackneyed “smart, stylish and sexy” critic descriptions were made for.

12 Detroiters S2 - pouring one out for my fave pals, who never got a chance to make another season of this little darling (though there were a couple of episodes in this season that didn’t do it for me). 

13 Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - perhaps the only adaptation of a cookbook that I’ve ever seen, and certainly one of the best food shows ever. 

14 Big Mouth S2 - More of the same, so if you could hack it in the first season, then keep it up!

15 Bodyguard - another in the sexy/dark/procedural vein, with bonus Scotsman from Game of Thrones.

16 Utopia/Dreamland S1-S3 - an Australian comedy series about a government infrastructure department, which has apparently spawned real such departments in the country, even though it doesn’t come off all that well. The first title is the Aussie one, it’s known as Dreamland everywhere else. 

17 Baroness Von Sketch S3 - Canadian series that I actually watch are rare as hen’s teeth, so I was delighted to find a woman-centric sketch show that has kept me laughing. Plus, sometimes I see my neighbourhood? That’s fun!

[the-canary]

Signs of Love - B.B

Summary: It’s was so stupid to fall in love with him. (Modern!Reader/Bucky Barnes).  

Prompt: “It’s not that complicated.” 

A/N: This is for @moonstruckhargrove ‘s writing challenge. please welcome to fabiola listening to sad mexican songs cause of roma. as of now, there is no thoughts going into a second part, so please don’t ask for it. i like, as sad it is, just the way it is. 

Feedback is always welcomed.

Hindsight is a gift, you had heard this on a Netflix comedy special once.

Well, it was begin an ass right now as you in Wanda’s couch, cold and shivering with your heart on the ropes over what you had just seen. Oh, what a simple fool you had been.

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Wanda asks softly as she places a new cup of tea in front of you. She had been waiting on you --bless your best friend’s heart-- since you had arrived her doorstep soaked to the bone and murmuring about Bucky. It was only now, two hours since you had left James’ front door, that you were beginning to gain some semblance of yourself.

“No, I just don’t,” is all you manage to say with a stiff nod before you take a sip of your tea. Warm, brown eyes keep looking at you with sympathy before her phone starts to ring. She gets, but not before giving you a pat on the knee as you stare at the cup of warm, clear liquid.

You end up getting lost in thoughts of where it all went horribly wrong.

It’s not that complicated.

That is the damn sentence that gets you into this damn problem in the first place, what with James needing a date for his holiday party. A way to make jealous, or something else, towards his old flame and co-worker — Dolores, if you remember correctly.

It’ll have free food and drinks. No funny stuff besides a hold of a waist, maybe a peck on the cheek here and there.

Pretty standard of a fake relationship, you had seen it a million times before in those rom-coms. However, you weren’t like most of those women that helped their best friends that they are secretly in love with — you hardly knew James, he was more an acquaintance through Wanda and then through Sam.

A complete stranger, but you should have known the course that story takes as well.

Just make sure you don’t fall in love with me.

You should have known with that cocky statement and boyish grin that you were doom from the beginning.

The first time that you are alone with James Barnes, no Wanda or extended friends, is in a small coffee shop between his place of work and your apartment. Unlike him who worked in an office, you did most of your business from home unless you were called into to work in some distant place by your boss for months at a time. It had been that way for a few years now and it was something that you enjoyed, though you had to admit it was lonesome at times.

(Maybe, it was that loneliness that caused you to fall so fast for him in the first place, it something you question later on).

James was a friend of Wanda’s through Sam, her coworker. You weren’t there when they all formally became part of your circle of friends, but they seemed all right from the few time that you had interacted with them, though you had to admit that Sam was easier --with his bubbly laughter and tons of stories-- to talk to than it was with James.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” you manage to say without stuttering as serious blue eyes turn your direction, “Traffic into Midtown was more hectic than I thought it would be.”

“Everyone is trying to get lunch,” he states, though his manner of speaking and the hard look in face causes you to wonder whether he is simply stating a fact or trying to make a joke. Unsure with what to do, you compromise with giving him a light smile before sitting down and finally noticing the unopened box and coffee in front of you.

You look up at him in question, only to see him looking away while gripping that back of his neck in obvious embarrassment.

“I thought you might be hungry, so I order ya something,” he states like it is the most obvious thing in the order as you open the box, “A sandwich and coffee latte with skim milk and two sugas.”

You aren’t sure how he knows your coffee order by heart, but nevertheless you thank him and move forward in trying to get your story together for the party.

The holiday part goes well enough what with you getting in on free food and drinks and laughing at Sam’s jokes. James is stiff around you the entire time, watching the room like a hawk as you give him a friendly smile and pat. It isn’t until halfway into the part that you see her -- red hair and a green dress on the arms someone that you don’t know and neither does James.

They dance around each other until introductions are made near the banquet table, as she smiles and introduces her date as Brock from the Sales Department. She asks what you do and you do the same, as James tries his hardest to look at anything but her. However, she manages to get his attention with the right words and you’ll wonder for a long time afterwards if that night was a success or a failure over their last exchange of the evening.

“We should all you out sometime,” Dot smiles, as if she is laughing at her own personal joke.

“Sure,” is all James manages to say, as he grips on your waist just a little too tightly.

You aren’t sure what game he is playing in the long term, but the fake relationship goes on larger than expected as you turn it into a charade for the rest of the office and Dot to see.

You come to realize that dealing with James when it comes to dates is like that old Katy Perry song -- sometimes, he is hot --treating you with kind smiles and teasing-- and sometimes he is cold as a New York winter -- standoffish and silent. However, he never sways -- always looking at you and never giving Dot the time of day as she makes out with someone across the room -- the others couples enjoying their time as well.

“You know,” Dot states with a coy smile, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two kiss before.”

“I-I--”

However, you don’t have time to answer her question as James grabs you and states that you have to go. The ride back to his apartment is silent, as he seethes silently and you have to wonder if it would be really that bad for him to be seen kissing you -- an odd thought, even though you are only supposed to be fake dating.

It isn’t until much later, when you are both in his home, that James tells you he doesn’t enjoy people touching him -- that he fears what people might think of him and all his scars and disfigurements from the war. It was one of reasons that Dot had left him in the first place.

He’s sitting hunched over the small island counter-top of his kitchen when you touch his right hand lightly with a small smile on your face.  

“It’s okay, James,” you sigh out as he gives you a commiserating smile, “Take it at your own pace.”

He leans in a bit more. Blue eyes looks at you and then your lips as you raise your eyebrows in question but never stop him, especially when you now know how hard this might actually be for him.

“Could I?”

You nod without a word, as he presses his lips lightly against yours before moving back and it almost makes you wonder if it was all just a figment of your imagination. However, the second and third and fourth kisses that follow in that dark room prove to you how real it was -- and maybe, that’s when you realize how deeply you could love this man.

Eventually, Dot stops calling on the both of you for date nights and like that it’s all over.

You try to pretend that you can move on.

Out of the blue --two weeks to be exact--, James asks you on a night out… in his apartment --  no pretenses, no Dot -- just the two of you. And while you find it hard to keep, your emotions in check -- you find yourself giddy with the prospect of being alone with him. You enjoyed seeing different sides of him as you spent more time around him, and to have it without Dot -- well, that was just a blessing.

You have snacks and movies ready, as you head to his apartment and while you haven’t heard from him in awhile. You were sure if something was wrong he would have told you, so you head

“Please, Jamie,” a familiar voice coons loudly in the hallway as you turn the corner, “You don’t have keep trying to make me jealous. I’m right here.”

“Then, what?” Dot questions. Her eyes meeting yours for a split second as she throws in her last trump card, “Are you telling me you’re in love with her?”

“I don’t--”

You don’t hear the end of his sentence as you drop your bags with a large clatter. Heads turns, but you are already running down the stairs in twos while ignoring the sound of your name being yelled out.

You run and run, as the rain begins its heavy downpour as you reach the subway station that leads you to Wanda’s house.

You knew deep down that James didn’t love you, that it had all been a ruse to get over and even with Dot. However, hearing it being said from him -- well, that broke whatever delusion you had been trying to make for yourself.

“I’m gonna go home, Wan,” you state as she comes back from the back room and whoever she was talking to. She gives you a sad smile and you know that she wants you to stay -- to help you in some way, but you don’t want a pity party.

“At least, let me drive you back,” she states softly but you know that there is no room to stop her -- this is the only compromise that she is willing to give you if you aren’t going to talk about anything for awhile, especially when you were going to leave the States once more.

It was better this way.

The ride back to your apartment is silent and cold, as you lean on the window to Wanda’s car. You dare not question anything

“Thanks, Wan,” is all you manage to say as she gives you a bitter smile before handing you an umbrella. Her warm can encloses over your still freezing one, as she states with complete sorrow and worry mixed in.

“If you need anything, just let me know,” is all she says as you nod and let go, proceeding to open the umbrella and running in the large entrance of your apartment complex. The guard welcomes you with one look before turning away and nothing is said as you move into the elevator that would lead you into your lonely apartment.

You try not to think about how there is none standing out in the rain waiting for you -- there are no rainy declarations of love in this story. And this with stiff and aching muscles, you move into your dark apartment not bothering nor caring what you trip into or of the sheets suffering from your current state.

There is only one thing echoing in your head right now, as you dig into the covers -- hoping to escape from the rest of the world.  

I don’t--

The half finished sentence echoes in your head and settles deeply in your heart because you were the only fool on the story -- surely, James was laughing it off somewhere, hell maybe even with Dot since it seemed like they had made-up now.

It’s not that complicated. It really wasn’t that complicated it at all.

You had fallen in love with James Buchanan Barnes, but he certainly didn’t love you back.

And well -- you had to live with that, move on with that sinking feeling in your chest that would one day surely go away.

But, for now, you kept on crying your heart out while ignoring the ringing of your cell phone.

In Moderation (Sequel) 

[duchessofostergotlands]

Regarding the g*psy slur. Here in Spain it's not a slur, it's just the name of their community, we don't really have another word. And so when we learn English we don't know its a slur, it's just what they are like French or Italian. So maybe it's not a slur in French either?

I see the “gypsy chic” tag all the time on Pinterest and it makes me so uncomfortable!

Hello ! French person here. So in French, « g*psy » can have three translations : « bohème », which I wouldn’t consider a slur, and « gitan » and « rom » (short for « romanichel »), which I would not use because of bad connotations (that would be my point of view as someone who is not from the travelling community, though). I think they were going for « bohème », because St Rémy is known as one of the prettiest Provençal towns in France. I would have loved to see people in traditional dress !

So there’s a lot here. I wish I could hear from the traveller communities in these countries because they’re really the people who have the say in what is or isn’t offensive. Like where I grew up there is a huge amount of tension with local traveller camps. And people will call them that. They don’t think it’s offensive, they’re not using it to be aggressive specifically, but it’s still offensive. I don’t know that it is in mainland Europe at all and you might be totally right but I think it’s easy for us to assume something is or isn’t ok- either you, or me- when we don’t actually know for ourselves. 

I also think that anon 2 raises a really good point about the fact that even if it isn’t a slur, it’s still kind of gross that so much fashion markets itself on a historically persecuted minority. The Roma community were targets of the Nazis, they have been oppressed in lots of countries since, so taking a stereotype of their culture feels kind of off. 

For the French person, the invitation was in French at the start but then at the bottom it is in English and it says “Dress code: Bohemian and G*psy chic.* So I think they were definitely going for the bohème vibe but as it was in English it would be odd to use two words that mean the same thing, if that make sense. So I’m still not really sure! Thank you for explaining the different usages though, that’s helpful!

I think, just to add to this, it wouldn’t be as worrying if this was the first time that Charlotte had done this but she’s skirted a line a few times in her horse racing competitions:

[aquestionablemutt]

Roma the Romanian.

Dog Names

Hey dogblr, tell me about your dog(s) name(s)! Is there meaning behind it? Just suited the dog? Part of a naming theme?

[scarlet--wiccan]

Do Roma have a specific convention around naming children? I'm trying to write a Romani American character in a modern setting and I know that names have different rules and significance in different cultures. Also, do you have any writing tips regarding Romani characters beyond what you put in your tips for writing Wanda? And do you know of any other Roma I can ask or any exceptionally good resources? Totally ok if you don't know the answer to any of these or don't want to answer. Have a good day 💕

I'm just going to start this by reiterating my overall thoughts when it comes to gadje writing about Roma in fiction. It is not your place to convey elements of Roma culture, and I wouldn't recommend that you write a Rom as your main protagonist, but I believe that you are still able to perform meaningful representation regardless. Writers often seem to think that they need to approach Romani people as magical, totally alien creatures, but we are actually just people and I think that if you really want to include us in a way that is authentic or helpful, you should start by considering our lived realities.

Do some research about our history and our placement in different parts of the world so that you can nail down a realistic background or family lineage for your character. Figure out how your character's experiences or heritage will inform their perspective, their personality, or their motives. Allow those perspectives and experiences to exist visibly. Spend some time examining dishonest representations of Roma characters so that you understand what not to do, and what will create bad optics. Getting a handle on these subjects is more important to me than illustrating Romani customs. For what it's worth, if I were writing an American character who was, say, a second or third generation immigrant, that person probably wouldn't be super traditional anyways. There are larger, more traditional Roma communities in the states, but, in my experience, families that arrived in America on their own in the last century, or are descended from individual immigrants, are more low-key and/or partially assimilated, which is kind of sad, but it's also pretty common for any sort of immigrant experience.

I know that I recommend this show all the time, but if you're looking for anecdotes about life as an Romani American, the podcast Romanistan is a great place to start-- particularly episodes 1, 2, 3, and 9.

In my experience, naming and identification can get kind of complicated in Roma families, especially when you're trying to trace your lineage back a few generations and you realize that your grandmother and her siblings all have different names on different documents. I don't know, maybe that's just me!

I found this very informative post on Instagram which explains some naming practices, and their history, in European Roma communities. In most parts of Europe, your legal given name is probably going to be something from the dominant language or culture, but you may also have a Roma name-- either something traditional, or maybe just a nickname-- which comes from your family's dialect of Romani chib. Family names come from several places, but most of them were adopted sometime after arriving in the West-- they might denote an occupation, such as woodworker or smith, or they could be taken from former slave holders. A lot of families have Western names that they simply chose or married into at some point. That said, there is a serious difference between ordinary gadje names, and kushti Roma names that have remained within a family for generations.

So, when it comes to character naming, I would personally put more effort into the surname. Consider which region or country the family is from and choose something fitting. You can't go wrong with an occupational name, but I would try looking at the names of historical Roma people from that area and basing something on one of them. That's where the name "Maximoff" comes from. For the given name, just choose something contemporary, because that's the name they'd probably use among gadje. You could probably choose a European name if the family is recently from Europe, relatively speaking, but again, that's, like, normal for any family.

[pendragyn]

The name Romani has nothing to do with Romania actually, and Roma is a name for one group but not the whole, Romani or Rromani is. They all have ancestral roots in India and that general area.

Here are a couple of posts by Romani people, the second of which has a link to the TVTropes Romani page whith more info for writerly folks.

https://draconaa.tumblr.com/post/188202459010/a-few-things

https://rationalisms.tumblr.com/post/677256937924116480/psa-or-whatever-but-its-romani-or-rom-not

The Wikipedia article has info but uses some outdated language and does not censor the g-slur or any of the other derogatory language terms.

What are the terms to call people that are related to Romani people but from other European countries? I avoided the G slur because I think you know why but cannot use the term Romani people as the whole group since it only defines people whose ancestors migrate to Romania and mixed their culture with Romanians'. I am trying to create a character whose descent from Indian ancestors that migrated to Germany.

I have way too insufficient data on this. (Saw and read an article about it the other day, and to my regret, didn't bookmark it.)

Does anyone else with useful info on this want to jump in? Thanks.

[mvgnetsmoved]

okay but that scene wasn’t even accurate. magneto wasn’t born as erik magnus lehnsherr. that was an identity he took on and had someone forge for him to get away from his past and fit in with magda. his real name is max eisenhardt and he is german / jewish. i think it’s cool to headcanon characters as poc but i just wanted to correct that misinformation.

i see where you’re coming from, but the phrasing is literally “we believe. they have very little information, as many jewish and roma families in and around the mid 20th century has very few actual information because WE WERE RECOVERING FROM GENOCIDE. plenty of people were erased from existence. records were destroyed. in the case of rom plenty of people were never recorded at birth at all.

i’m sure it wasn’t your intention to come off sounding this way, but sending this message to a jewish rromani woman who comes from a family of survivors leaves a pretty nasty taste in my mouth, sorry. i’m literally just happy to have a connection to some of my favorite characters

[cupcakentea]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

Thank you @hazzabooween for tagging me  LAST: Last drink: Water Last phone call: My sister Last text message: “Non amulettes je kiffe”

Last song you listened to?: Girl Crush - Harry Styles (aha) Last time I cried: Earlier while listening to that freaking song HAVE YOU EVER: Dated someone twice: Yes

Been cheated on: Yes Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes Lost someone special: Yes Been depressed: HAH yes Been drunk and thrown up: Yep but only because I mixed drinks and weed do not do that IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: Made a new friend: Yes Laughed until you cried: Yes Met someone who changed you: Yes Found out who your true friends are: Probably yes Found out someone was talking about you: Yes GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Three-Four. Met a few more once. Do you have any pets?: Nope Do you want to change your name: No What time did you wake up this morning?: 11:30ish am. What were you doing last night?: Reading Name something you cannot wait for: Concerts and new tattoos planned Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Prety sure I haven’t actually? What’s getting on your nerves rn: Reckless behaviour Blood type: O+ or - I never remember Nickname: full name generally or Apo/Apoom

Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Capricorn Pronouns: She/her Favorite tv show: Hannibal, Mr.Robot, Sense8, American Gods, In the Flesh, Misfits, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks & Rec, Community College: Been here done that Hair colour: dark dark blond/ light light brown idk what’s the word in english is ahah but that’ll change with the next hair colour  Do you have a crush on someone: No What do you like about yourself: My observation skills FIRSTS: First surgery: 5 or 6 y-o

First piercing: earlobes 11, other ones 18 First sport you joined: Swimming First vacation: In France I can’t recall, another country probably London or Roma First pair of sneakers: No clue RIGHT NOW: Eating: Nothing Drinking: Nothing but I definitely should I’m about to: Shower  Listening to: ASMR Want kids: No unless I’m with the person who changes my mind Get married: Same as above Career: What career WHICH IS BETTER: Lips or eyes: I don’t know I can focus on both multitasking is nice Hugs or kisses: Kisses on the neck and face while you’re hugging  Shorter or taller: I don’t care Older or younger: I don’t care Romantic or spontaneous: Both Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Both ? Troublemaker when you need fun, and hesitant and careful when you need seriousness. HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger: Yes Drank hard liquor: Yes Lost contacts/glasses?: Nope Sex on first date: Nope

Broken someone’s heart: Yes Been arrested: No Turned someone down: Yes Fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE: In yourself: Kind of Miracles: Kind of Love at first sight: I think it’s possible yeah Heaven: 👀(I’m keeping that eye emoji because it’s perfect) Santa Claus: Nah

Tagging : Whomever wants to do this I’m too lazy to pick 25 people I’m sorry <3