#and rodney would make fun of him when he gets back

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Re: our dm's for john x jennifer.

What do you think about john teaching her to surf?

omgomgomg he definitely teaches her to surf

i think it would take him some time to convince her to go and she finally gives in mostly bc she feels bad saying no so much but then when they finally get out there and johns being all sweet and smart and passionate and excited and he's in a wet suit jennifer is like 👀👀👀

and it turns into like a semi regular thing where when they both have down time john takes jennifer to the mainland and he gives her surfing lessons and the tension keeps building and one day they're up on a board together and his hands slide a little lower than normal and she backs up a little closer than normal and AHHHHHHHH

beach sex!!!!!!!! yes!!!!!!! i'm obsessed with this idea honestly omg 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[01zfan]

film it | l. sh

skateboarder!sohee x videographer!reader | 7k words

ninona lore this took me back to my skateboarding days…don’t know why i didn’t realize the tea with skateboarding sohee earlier.

i listened to tape you by N.E.R.D. while writing this. also the music i imagined for the highlight reel is humps for the boulevard by rodney o and joe cooley!

contains: sex & recording the act (consensual), mentions of skateboarding related injuries (nothing major)

you always heard sohee first.

the sound of the wheels on his skateboard gliding across the ground behind you. you only saw him like a flash of light, there one second gone the next and always followed by his crew of skateboarders. the only time he had spoken to you was the warnings that he was coming behind you and he didn’t plan on slowing down. 

your interaction with sohee was so limited that you thought he was talking to someone else when he first addressed you.

“hey!” he yelled to you.

you looked around the skating park to see who sohee was talking to. you sat on the bench, mouthful of your sandwich when you realized sohee was looking straight at you. when you pointed to yourself sohee nodded, smiling back at his friends before he continued.

“you good with a camera?” he asked, still yelling.

your shitty camcorder sat next to you, resting on top of your recently bought board. you had picked up a hobby last minute for the summer, in no way at all was that connected to the man that spoke to you. you swallowed your bite before nodding your head, instinctually dusting crumbs off of your body.

“yeah.” you yelled back.

sohee looked back to his friends one last time, all of them giving him nods of approval.

“can you film us doing some tricks?” he asked.

you nodded your head with a little too much enthusiasm, and you got up from your spot on the ground a little too quickly. maybe something about the acknowledgment made you feel vindicated, or maybe you liked having something to do. being at the skatepark alone was less fun than you thought it would be, so you leapt at the chance to spend time with people. they didn’t care that you were wobbly on your skateboard, they slowed down as they gave you instructions on where they were going so you could follow them. 

“i’m gonna start on the a-frame and then go to the euro gap.” taesan instructed, pointing at each structure.

“got it.” you chirped.

you started the camera at taesan’s face, going all the way down to his feet planted on the skateboard. before taesan could start, another one of sohee’s friends skated behind you. you turned the camcorder quickly to face him, and he looked shocked for a moment before adjusting to the camera. 

“make sure you get him eating shit too.” leehan said.

you turned the camera back to taesan as the rest of the crew laughed behind you.

“you can’t even nollie flip.” taesan teased.

“fuck you.” leehan laughed.

the rest of the day you spent with sohee and his crew, filming their tricks and them bickering with one another. they even taught you how to be more steady on your board while recording at the same time. 

by the time you guys were done the sun was setting and you all smelled like sweat. you could feel how dirty the clothes you wore were, your shirt felt like a dirty rag that dried in the sun on your body. even if you all smelled and were all still sweating from the heat you ended the day at the top of the ramp huddled together watching the raw footage. they all crowded around the tiny viewfinder, laughing at their failures and exclaiming at the successful attempts at tricks. sohee constantly praised your recording ability, to which you shook your head each time. 

“it’s nothing really.” you pointed at the screen, waiting for a certain part you knew would illicit a reaction. “this is when leehan scraped his knee trying to nollie flip.” you said.

when the videos were finished, sohee’s friends began grabbing their things but sohee lingered close to you. he waited until you looked up from your camcorder to him, and he turned at the same time. you got flustered and sohee smiled at you trying to avoid eye contact, only breaking away when another one of his friends spoke.

“i’m tired as hell. i’m going home.” seunghan said, throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

“me too.” haewon got up from the ramp, using a grip on your shoulder to push herself up.

seunghan made his way down the ramp and the others followed. you found sohee lingering behind once again, waiting for you to grab your things. while his other friends walk ahead, he stayed behind to walk with you. he adjusts the backpack on his shoulder and looks to his friends that talk ahead of you two.

“i mean it though,” sohee turns to face you. “you’re really good at recording us.” he says.

now it’s your turn to adjust your backpack, shaking your head shyly the same way you did before.

“it’s nothing really.” you say awkwardly.

you and sohee walked in silence, the only sound between the two of you was his dragging feet on the cement. you clutched your hand around your camcorder, the feeling of now or never crossed your mind as you spoke.

“i would love to film you guys.” sohee turned to you. “for the summer. maybe even make a little highlight reel maybe.” you offered.

you saw sohee open his mouth, his hand going to the back of his neck before the rest of the crew overheard you. seunghan basically leaped on your shoulders, all of them jumped around you thanking you for taking the time out of your summer to film them. haewon promised she’d teach you how to really skate and leehan said he would master the nollie flip by the end of the summer. the only person that wasn’t enthusiastic was sohee. your eyes stayed on the hand that was scratching at the nape of his neck. 

when the crew dispersed to skate back home, you found out that both you and sohee had to go in the same direction. when you thought you’d hear the familiar warning of him behind you on his skateboard you instead heard the sound of his feet running on the road to catch up to you. 

even with the nice gesture, without sohee’s crew to fill the silence between you both it was awkward. his lack of enthusiasm when you offered to film them for the summer still weighed heavy on your mind, making you feel tense. you two walked in complete silence, you even purposely went on a different path to separate from sohee. he watched you as you started walking diagonally behind him, trying to cut through a residential area.

“i’m going this way.” you said, pointing to a beaten path.

sohee looked down at the skateboard in his hand. he looked forward on the road he was walking on. for a moment underneath the light of the streetlamp he looked like he wanted to say something. the two of you lingered underneath the artificial light, getting ready to walk on your own separate paths.

“i’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked, still standing in the same place.

sohee nodded, putting his skateboard down on the road next to him. he tightened the straps on his backpack as he got on his board.

“yeah. see you tomorrow.” he said.

and with that, sohee started skating down the road to head home. you stayed underneath the light of the streetlamp, trying to think about what you did wrong. the cicadas matched the buzzing in your mind as you ran through every single interaction you had with sohee. when you realized he probably hated the idea of someone basically inviting themselves to join the crew it all made sense. you didn’t even think in the moment how presumptuous you were being, you just let anything fall from your lips to fill the silence. you cringed to yourself, even letting out an audible groan as you realized your social fumble.  

you thought about your fumble for the rest of the night as you watched videos on how to make a successful highlight reel for skating. you even uploaded old files from your camcorder that you had been putting off to make room for new skating videos.

you came to the conclusion the following day that sohee was confusing. despite him not seeming apprehensive of you becoming a temporary member of his crew, he spent an ungodly time around you. during the breaks he would ask what you packed for lunch, while the rest of his crew convened he would find his way next to you asking for your thoughts. each time you shook your head, not feeling it was your place to give input as a temporary member of the group.

sohee lingering only got worse as the summer went on. he picked up the habit of waiting beside you at all times, even when he was up next for a trick. you became sohee’s director, telling him from behind the camera to go stand with the rest of the crew, or to go to the ramp because he was next. each time he was caught off guard, smiling and shaking his head before jogging to his correct spot. he eventually became something like your shadow, always watching the raw footage over your shoulder at the end of each practice. he would always make sure you could hear his reactions, letting out ooh’s and aah’s each time he saw something cool. sohee even began offering to come with you on the dirt path to your home—you believed that was the first time you ever saw sohee give up the chance to ride his skateboard. 

by the end of the summer, when the video was almost finished and your relationship with sohee was even more confusing than before. you knew at the very least that sohee liked your camerawork. he complimented you so much throughout the summer that you had finally gotten use to the praise. you accepted all of his kind words with a smile on your face. but even if sohee gave you compliments, something still felt off. you were friends with other people in the crew, you had worked up a good rapport and a good friendship to the point that you become something more than an omniscient viewer of the life. but you still couldn’t pinpoint what you were to sohee, and as a result you couldn’t determine what he was to you. 

as the final month of summer approached, you had given up completely on trying to figure out sohee. you instead put all of your effort into the video, spending weeks perfecting everything. you don’t know why you worked so hard on it—you took the extra steps to add segments for all the different tricks. you added bloopers at the end, all the failed attempts as something to laugh at. you had a sleepless week for no reason, trying to find the perfect background music and sync it with the transitions. when you were done you even went the extra mile to burn it to a DVD, keeping it safe in your backpack before heading to the park. 

you were extra excited at the skatepark, the nerves of showing the crew your finished video made you antsy. they had stopped asking you when the video would be done a long time ago. they wanted to give you time, but without fail towards the end of practice everyday they would be waiting with bated breath for an update. you had told the crew it’s almost ready a million times and told them just one more week nearly a month ago. when everyone was grabbing their things getting ready to go you held your backpack close to your body, remembering the DVD that sat at the bottom.

“so about that video.” you tried not to laugh when everyone whipped their heads around to look at you. “i finished it.” you said nonchalantly.

despite you trying to remain casual everyone instantly reacted. all of the crew immediately started jumping up and down, circling around you as they waited for you to show them the proof. when you pulled out the DVD they ooh’d and aah’d at the novelty of it all. everyone wanted to see the video, and it didn’t take long before the crew was following you home to watch the highlight reel. 

you corralled everyone into your recently cleaned room, clearing off your chairs to try and accommodate for the extra bodies. you found your seat on the ground at the foot of your bed between leehan and sohee. you tried not to think too much about how close you were to sohee compared to leehan, instead focusing on your growing nerves of showing something you spent so much time on. you leaned forward to pull the DVD from it’s translucent green holder, putting it in your player and closing it. you sat back in your same spot while everyone waited for it to start

the music started playing before the video played. a loud intro, the beat making everyone nod their heads. the beginning of the highlight reel played as an intro for everyone in the crew, earning a small cheer each time someones name popped up. everyone commented on the special effects, and when the actual tricks started everyone only got more excited. you turned to the side during the video, trying to silently gauge everyone’s reaction. you felt relief seeing everyone smile and deeply involved in the video. you felt even more relieved seeing sohee so clearly enjoying it. he had his palms keeping him propped up, his stretched out legs swaying to the beat of the music. when something particularly cool happened he turned and looked at you, and you had to turn quickly to face your small television. 

when the video was over, everyone was silent for a moment. before doubt could even enter your mind, seunghan spoke first.

“that was perfect.” he said.

almost instantly, everyone else started agreeing. everyone wanted to know how you did it, what song you used to play in the background, why you put so much effort into it. when leehan asked for a copy everyone else started agreeing, saying they wanted their own copy too. you felt high in demand, waving your hands to try and get everyone to quiet down.

“i can burn some extra DVD’s.” you looked to your computer and the stack of DVD’s you already had piled up next to your monitor. “it might take awhile, but i can get it to you guys.” you said.

“take all the time you need.” taesan said.

everyone nodded in agreement, not wanting to rush you anymore.

“i could probably burn them tonight. have them ready tomorrow” you said.

“i can stay.” everyone turned to sohee still sitting on the shag rug. “help you burn them. i live right over there anyway.” sohee said.

he projected his voice and gave his reasons to everyone in the room, but he stayed looking at you. when you nodded your head wordlessly, sohee smiled before going back to looking at the television. the rest of the crew exchanged looks, but they didn’t bother to press the conversation any further.

it wasn’t long before everyone was collecting their things and grabbing the trash of the snacks from the convenience store you guys raided. everyone talked about seeing you soon, and thanking you for the video. when you walked everyone out sohee stayed behind to start burning the DVD’s for you.

when you made it back into your room, you saw that your computer was already in the process of burning a DVD. sohee was back in his original spot at the foot of your bed, knees drawn to his chest as he looked up at you. suddenly you wished you had declined his offer to stay and help. you had narrowly avoided being alone with sohee all summer, but now here he was sitting on your shag rug looking up at you. sohee timidly tapped the spot you were sitting earlier, and you tried your best to seem nonchalant as you sat next to him.

the silence stretched on for a long time. for awhile, it was just you and sohee listening to your computer etch the video into the DVD, and the sound of birds chirping outside your window. when you heard the sound of your metal bed frame creaking due to sohee leaning on it, you kept your eyes on him. he rocked side to side, his knees still drawn closely to his chest.

“the video was really cool by the way.” he said.

you started picking at the strands on your orange shag rug, suddenly feeling too embarrassed to look at him. the fact that you could feel him looking down at you didn’t help, it only made you focus on anything in your room but him.

“thank you.” you said, smiling to the ground.

sohee scooted closer to you, until his foot was in your line of sight. you still refused to look at him, the feeling of embarrassment kept your eyes trained on the rug. the two of you are silent, and you can hear sohee shift as he takes in a deep breath.

“can you look at me?”  he asks quietly.

you look up to sohee quickly, not sure why you listened to him over the screaming voice in your head. he looked at you gently, gaze flickering over the features on your face. having him this close to you made you want to recoil away, but you didn’t want to miss a single second of him taking you in. when he scooted closer you didn’t back away, even if you felt a pounding in your chest and skull. 

“you’re really cool.” sohee complimented.

you let your hands rest in your lap, instead picking at your fingers over the shag carpet. your mouth felt to dry to speak, but you nodded and tried swallowing your spit just to wet your mouth.

“you too.” you said back.

sohee leaned into you quickly. it was too fast for you to recognize what was going on, one moment you were thinking about sohee and the next he was so close to you that his breath fanned your face. his lips were soft against yours, and for a moment you two stayed like that, with sohee leaned into you while both of your lips were still. he pulled away before moving his lips against yours, the tiny sound of your separation permeating in your brain.

“is this okay?” he asked.

“i’m so confused.” when sohee tilted his head in confusion you continued. “did you like the video that much?” you asked.

“i was kinda afraid i wasn’t being obvious enough.” sohee laughed.

when he saw the same confused expression on your face his hand went to scratch at the back of his neck. 

“i really like spending time with you.” sohee admitted.

”i thought you didn’t even want me in the group.” you said.

as you remembered sohee’s reaction when you offered to film the crew’s highlight reel, his face completely changed. instantly he was shaking his head, putting his hands on your shoulder to bring your attention to him.

“i didn’t want you to think i was using you because of your camera. i wanted to find a way to spend time with you.” he clarified.

when sohee tells you his reasoning everything makes sense. the way he stuck to you at the skatepark, how he always watched you so carefully when you were trying to skate. you realized the tense atmosphere when he would walk you home was the complete opposite of apprehensiveness. even though everything makes sense, you still feel upset. when your eyebrows furrow you see sohee instantly become apologetic.

“are you mad at me?” sohee looks back to your computer and sohee starts shuffling to stand up. “i should probably go.” he says.

before sohee can fully get up, you grab his arm. he freezes instantly, and when you guide him back to the ground he follows immediately. when he bites his lip nervously you want to tell him you could’ve been kissing all summer underneath the street lamps of your neighborhood if he had just been more upfront with you. you could’ve been sneaking around and pushing him up against the chainlink fence that surrounded the skatepark before everyone else arrived. but words have barely served you up to this point, and your throat is so dry you think your voice would fail you anyway. so instead of trying to express your feelings with words, you use your grip on sohee’s arm to bring him closer to you. 

sohee let his legs straighten until they were flat against your rug. instantly you put your hand on his thigh, using your grip on him to turn your body to kiss him better. sohee responded by moving a hand to your waist, sticking his ring finger in the belt loop of your pants while his other fingers rested on the bare skin of your torso. even from this little contact you already felt overwhelmed. 

when you pulled away from sohee he kept one of his hands on your face. you took him in like this, how his lips were still parted and his eyes were still closed before he realized you weren’t going back in to kiss him. his eyelashes fluttered when he blinked a few times, trying to recover.

“i really like spending time with you too.” you said quickly.

when sohee pulled you in again, he let his lips press a little harder into yours. you felt his hand on your waist move to your leg, and you let sohee move your legs until they were on top of his. he followed your movements, his hand splaying across your jean clad thigh before pulling you in closer by your legs.

when you were close enough, sohee moved his hand from your leg to the small of your back. he pressed gently, until your back arched and you pressed even more into him. you let your tongue go into his mouth first, and he tilted his head and parted his lips a little wider to give you access. 

the sound of kissing and your jeans rubbing against eachother filled the room. you had one of your hands behind you, gripping your shag rug from the tension and for stability. sohee couldn’t take his hands off of you, pulling and kneading your skin while he pressed his tongue against yours. the kisses were beginning to get sloppy, when you pulled away again there was a thin string of spit stretched between the two of you.

sohee licked his lips and broke the string. he looked up from your lips, scanning over your whole face. you did the same, taking in sohee against the backdrop of your room and his hair that was already sticking up in odd places. 

you were lost in the smell of sweat that clung to his baggy clothes and the wind burn that gave him a natural blush while his eyes wandered down, staying stuck on a part of your shag rug.

“i wanna film you.” sohee said, quietly.

you were still coming down from the feeling of sohee against you as you listened to his words. you followed his line of sight to the camcorder that was turned on its side. it was enticing, looking at the camera that was already on and in arms reach. the only thing you would’ve had to do was hold it in your hands and press the record button.

both you and sohee reached for the camera at the same time, and both of you hesitated at the same time too. you went back to looking at sohee, feeling his warm body press against yours. his hand had moved back to your legs, pulling them in close to his stomach. he looked at the camera once more and decided against it, shaking his head as his hands started creeping back up your leg.

you forgot about your camera as sohee pulled his legs from under you. he stood on his knees now, and it was you looking up at him as he came closer to you. you moved to give him space, and he moved his hand to your shoulder to slowly push you down. 

with your back resting on the shag rug there was another pause as sohee looked down at you. his shirt was loose on his body, hanging down and revealing his toned stomach you sneaked so many peaks at over the summer. when he saw you looking he guided your hands to the bottom of his shirt. when you fisted the fabric and started pulling up sohee did the rest, a single hand reaching for the back to pull it over his head. he balled up his shirt and put it underneath your head for comfort, and you mumbled a quiet thanks.

“i wanna touch you so bad.” sohee said.

you felt your own nerves creeping up on you as you felt sohee ghost his hand over your clothed stomach. he hovered above your body, but you swore you could feel the warmth coming from his hand in waves. you nodded your head, and you guided sohee’s hand underneath your shirt.

you could feel his gentle hand press into your stomach instantly. he kneaded the soft skin, holding onto whatever he could touch. you were already squirming underneath him, tiny sighs escaping your lips as you tried to comprehend what was happening.

“can i take your clothes off?” he asked.

the calm was absent from sohee’s voice now, reeling off the feeling of your skin in his hand. when you lifted your hips he took his hands off of you, reaching to the waistband of your tight jeans to pull them down your body. your fingers were barely fast enough to take off the button before sohee started pulling, and when they were loose enough you started pushing them down your legs. one of sohee’s hands lifted the end of your shirt, revealing the bottom of your bra. when sohee saw that the color matched the trim of your underwear he nearly started drooling. he bent his head to place a sloppy kiss on the apex of your thigh, earning a surprised mewl. when he blew cold air on his spit he saw goosebumps raise across your skin. 

from down here, sohee could smell you so clearly. although dried sweat clung to your body and left a salty taste on sohee’s tongue he felt himself needing more. you smelled like the soil and the air and the sun rolled into one, laid out for him like you were something to eat. sohee was getting high off of you, and the way you squirmed underneath gave him tunnel vision. he focused on what was hiding underneath the soft pair of panties that were clad to your body.

“can i eat you out?” he asked bluntly.

you felt all the blood drain from your face when sohee’s words hung in the air. your eyes that focused on the ceiling fan broke away from the spinning blades to see if sohee was as red as you felt. but he was unashamed, staring at you almost like he was pleading. you couldn’t say no to him, nothing in you wanted to say no. but simultaneously saying yes to something so lewd made you shake your head.

“you don’t have—.” you said timidly.

“i want to.” sohee’s hand went to the thin waistband of your panties, breaking past the elastic. you saw sohee’s fingers curve underneath the fabric, and his cold fingernails pressed into your pelvis. “really.” he assured.

you stared at him for a second longer, trying to hold out just incase he changed his mind. when sohee remained unfaltering, you felt enough of an ego boost to nod your head.

“okay.” you whispered.

sohee was slow pulling your panties down. he moved from between your legs to the side, resting on his haunches as he pulled them down your legs. his gaze flickered from your legs to your face, and then your exposed stomach. sohee alternated between all of it while he went back to slot himself between your legs. you spread slightly for him, watching him look at your core. with the back of your hand pressed to your forehead you felt hotter than ever. when sohee placed a kiss on your inner thigh you twitched.

sohee motioned for your hand the gripped the shag rug, instead guiding it to his brown hair. he encouraged you to tighten your grip, and when you did he nodded approvingly.

“so i know when i’m doing a good job.” he said quickly.

before you could say anything else, sohee placed a chaste kiss right on your spread cunt. you already felt yourself tugging at his hair, lips parted as you started inching your body towards his mouth. sohee smiled into the next chaste kiss, then he let his lips slightly part. before you knew it he was placing open mouthed sloppy kisses on your heat, and you were grinding your hips onto his mouth.

when sohee pushed his finger into your clenching hole, your back arched off the rug. sohee pressed his hand into your lower stomach to keep you still, and you began lifting your head to see him clearly. he was focused on your cunt, kissing and licking the most sensitive parts of you. when he felt your eyes he locked in on you, moving his hasty lips to suck on your clit. 

you thought about immortalizing the image of sohee’s plush lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves and the sound of him moaning into your folds for eternity. his eyes looking up at you for approval could be kept on your hard drive forever, reserved for your eyes only. you moved your body to the side to reach for the camcorder and sohee unknowingly pressed his hand deeper into your stomach to keep you in place. you curled around his hand as he applied pressure to the tension building deep in your stomach. he kept his eyes focused on your clit for a second longer, replacing his mouth with his free hand as he caught his breath. 

“sohee.” you got his attention back, and his eyes followed your hand that was reaching for the camcorder. “can i record you, sohee?” you asked timidly.

he looked up to you again, this time making eye contact with the camcorder you now held your shaking hand. he felt you clench around his fingers as your eyes stayed focus on the folded playback screen. sohee could see the dim glow of the video on your face as you brought the camera closer, trying to fit as much as you could in the frame.

“of course.” sohee said, placing a kiss to your inner thigh.

you let out a shaky breath and sohee saw the red light flicker on to point at him. sohee put his hand on your ankle, guiding one of your legs until your thigh was over his shoulder. you moved behind the camera, your quiet gasps caught on film as sohee pulled your heat closer to his lips. his eyes found the lens, his smile caught on the viewfinder. you watched the tiny screen with bated breath, only looking up when sohee did it first. he held your eye contact above the camera, a smile on his face as he leaned onto his side. with his free hand he plunged two fingers into your heat without hesitation. his lips parted as he watched you tilt your head back. tiny whimpers slipped past your lips as sohee continued pumping his fingers in and out of you, twisting his wrist to give you more stimulation. he looked down at the camera that was already pointing away from the action due to you being distracted. sohee stopped pumping his fingers, his eyes were focused on your heaving chest as you tried to regain your composure. when you lifted your head from the rug sohee gave you his most innocent smile, nodding towards the camera resting on your stomach.

“just keep filming me, yeah?” sohee said encouragingly.

“okay.” you shaky hand pointed the camera back to his face. “i got you.” you said out of breath.

sohee continued where he left off, adding three fingers and flicking his tongue on your clit. he looked up to the shaking camera occasionally, but his eyes were mainly focused on your back arching off the rug and you biting your lip to stifle your sounds. he took it as a challenge, trying everything he could to hear you make noise for him. he imagined hearing your whimpers and moans behind the camera when he would watch the playback. the mental image pushed sohee to pump his fingers in and out of you faster, until you brought your other leg to rest on his shoulder.

“sohee.” you whimpered behind the camera. “i’m so close.”

he nodded against your clit, pulling away to let a glob of his spit and your slick slide down your folds. sohee heard you moan at that sensation, loud and desperate as it acted as a lubricant for his pumping fingers. sohee could see your tight grip on the camcorder as your unfiltered sounds filled the room.

“let me hear you.” sohee said quickly before going back to your clit.

you registered sohee’s request late as the feeling washed over you. you were barely in your right mind to hold the camera straight as your legs closed in around sohee’s head. you were pathetic in every sense of the word. the loud moans that bounced off the walls of your room, the way you rode sohee’s tongue, the way you shook your head from the overstimulation. you were a mess and sohee watched it all, and soon you would be able to as well.

when you were done, your still recording camcorder rested on your chest as you desperately tried catching your breath. you saw sohee raise from between your legs, wiping his face with the back of his hand before crawling up your body. he brought you in for another kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth instantly. you moaned at the taste of yourself and sohee broke away quickly to let you try and catch your breath.

“i need you. so bad.” you murmured.

you held up the camcorder, shaking as you watched sohee stand up to take off his pants and underwear. he looked around your room, his erect dick bobbing mid-air. you looked past your camera to stare at his body.

“do you have condoms?” sohee asked.

you nodded, making the camera move as a result. sohee followed your pointed finger offscreen to the top drawer of your dresser.

“it’s at the—“

sohee found it quickly, holding the foil packet like it was a piece of treasure. he fumbled with the perforated tear as he went back to kneeling beside you, nearly ripping the package in half. before he could lay down you pointed to your bed. 

“can you grab me a pillow for my back?” you asked.

sohee nodded, immediately grabbing the exact pillow you had in mind. 

he dropped to his knees in front of you, crawling with the pillow and condom in his hand. when he was close enough he helped you lift your hips and slid the pillow underneath, looking to you for approval. when you nodded and pointed the camera to his torso. you, sohee, and the camera all watched him grab his hard dick in his hand as he slid the condom on. he rested on his legs and pinched the end of the latex, making sure it was on securely.

when he was done sohee motioned for the camera, and you lifted your weak hand from your stomach to give him the camcorder. he pulled your hand from the strap gently and put his hand in the same place to hold it securely.

for a moment sohee turned the camera around to check for the red dot and you could see him in the viewfinder. something about him looked so perfect to you, almost like he was made to be shot on shitty technology from the 90’s. you saw his large eyes blink for a moment before he turned the camera back to face you, and you could hear the sounds of him messing with the zoom as he tried to find his own angle. he constantly looked up from the tiny screen on the camcorder to look at you, trying to make sure he was getting the perfect framing.

“you look so pretty on camera baby.” sohee said.

his inexperience being behind the camera was obvious as he continued messing with the settings, and your inexperience with being in front of the camera was obvious too. you instinctually let your knees close in on eachother, suddenly nervous to show what you had exposed moments ago.

sohee instantly notices, lowering the camera from his face to slot himself between your legs. he gently separates them with a comforting hand, rubbing your knee tenderly. 

“so pretty.” sohee holds the camera back up, tracing the line of your legs up to your face that felt like it was on fire. “just for us right?” he asked.

“just for us.” you said, nodding your head.

sohee pointed the camera down at your cunt, his free hand running down your inner thigh then back to your knee. you were wiggling your hips closer to him in anticipation, eyes locked on his twitching dick. sohee pointed the camera to you and you let him catch your hungry gaze. he smirked and moved his hand to his dick, letting the camera film him slapping your puffy folds. you jolted from the sensation and tiny gasps slipped past your lips. you could see his smile behind the camera as he kept going.

sohee shuffled forward on his knees until his hips were close to yours. when he lined himself up at your entrance he looked down at you. sohee reached his hand that wasn’t holding the camera out to you, and you grabbed it without hesitation. when he pushed into you, both of your hands were squeezing at the others desperately as the sensation overtook you both. sohee could barely focus on holding the camera as he slid inside of you, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you felt yourself clamp around him repeatedly.

“holy fuck.” sohee pulled out and watched himself in the playback when he pushed himself back in. “you feel so good.” he groaned.

sohee’s gaze flickered between the camera and your body as he began working his hips. he was slow and deliberate with each thrust, making sure you felt all of him. you started moaning pitifully, feeling that familiar warmth slowly spread across your body. you started swiveling your hips, trying to get more stimulation.

“want me to touch you?” sohee asked behind the camera.

you shook your head no, pressing your body against the ground. when you looked up you saw that sohee had lowered the camera slightly so you could see his whole face.

“i wanna keep holding your hand.” you whimpered.

sohee nodded his head knowingly, seeing that you two were now in a predicament. he wanted to see you finish, but at the same time he only had two hands. he didn’t want to stop filming and he didn’t want to let go of your soft hand that was holding his so tight. his eyes drifted to your free hand that still gripped your shag rug and as if a lightbulb went off above his head, he knew what to do.

“can you—” his train of thought was cut off when you clamped around him again. “touch yourself for me?” he asked.

instantly you nodded, you hand going to your clit to rub gentle circles. sohee saw your body react quickly as you arched from the ground and bit your lip a little harder. sohee was so immersed in his view that he forgot about the camera catching all of it on tape. sohee memorized the way you touched yourself to do it to you later. he watched the muscles in your stomach jump and your body occasionally twitch. his lips were parting solely from seeing you get closer and closer. when your grip on his hand tightened sohee hissed, driving his hips deeper to try and give you what you needed. he saw your half lidded eyes open a little wider as your fingers worked faster.

“sohee.” you pulled him closer by his hand, squeezing so tight that sohee’s grip loosened. “i’m cumming” you whimpered.

“go ahead.” sohee grunted.

your fingers that worked your clit started faltering and doing incomplete circles as the rest of your body became tense. sohee stared at you in awe, suddenly remembering that he would have video proof of something so beautiful forever. he took this time to watch you with his own two eyes and to feel you everywhere. when he swiped his tongue across his lip he still tasted you, as sweet as the view before him. he instinctually babbled praises to you, things he had kept to himself all summer or hid under the blanket statement “you’re really good at filming”. 

when your body fully relaxed, and your walls started feeling like a heartbeat around his dick, sohee felt himself becoming desperate. he started picking up the pace but failing to hit the spot he needed due to his preoccupied hands. you must’ve noticed, because you weakly lifted your head to look down.

“go faster sohee.” you pushed your hips to meet his uneven thrusts for emphasis. “please.” you begged.

sohee nodded his head and then moved his hand holding the camera to separate your knees further. you could see him trying to figure out the angle, if it would be possible to give you what you needed while also holding the camera. you felt sohee look at you as he took his hand from the strap that held your camera securely in his hand.

“here.” he motioned for you to grab the camcorder. “hold the camera for me baby.” he said.

sohee put the camera back in your hand, and you propped yourself on your elbows to try and see it all. his speed didn’t falter, and his quiet moans rung throughout your room as he fucked you through his orgasm. you felt yourself feeling the aftershocks of your own peak, becoming so sensitive that your body shook each time you clamped around sohee’s dick. he came forward, head pressed into your collarbone as he kissed your clammy skin. his free hand went to the underside of your thigh and gripped you harshly, and his controlled moans turned into whimpers as he continued rutting inside of you. your view from the camera was obstructed by sohee’s body, but you still brought your lips to sohee’s ear and let your breath fan the shell.

“we look so good together.” you whispered.

after you said that, sohee stilled inside of you. his moan vibrated against your skin and his grip on your hand became vice-like. you flicked your hips upwards a few times until sohee pressed his teeth into your skin.

you let your camcorder rest on your shag rug beside your two bodies as you brought your hand to press into the back of sohee’s head, making him kiss your skin with a new vigor. you two were equally ruined, out of breath as you both tried to keep the stimulation going. 

sohee’s lips travelled from your collarbone to your neck, then your jaw and ending at your cheek. you brought him back down to the ground with you, chests so close they touched each time you breathed. he settled on top of you, kissing your lips one final time before pulling out. he sighed and you turned to see sohee’s shaking hand stop the recording. he rolled next to you on the ground, letting the camcorder rest on his chest.

the two of you stared at your ceiling fan, laying side by side. you reached your hand out to sohee and he grabbed it silently. he squeezed your hand as he took a deep breath in.

“you’re joining the crew now, right?” sohee asked, still looking at the fan.

“if that’s okay with you.” you said.

“more than okay with me.” sohee says instantly.

you hum, feeling like a thank you doesn’t quite fit the situation. your mind is on other things as you see the camera resting on sohee’s chest in your peripheral vision. 

“hey sohee?”

you turn to face him, and sohee turns his head from your ceiling to make eye contact with you.

“do you wanna watch it?”

[fuck-customers]

I'm so devastated

I LOVED this job when I first started 4 years ago. It was a bit tedious work but the culture of the company more than made up for it

I really felt like they cared. They looked out for us during the pandemic, sending care packages and organizing online social events that were actually fun.

The benefits were amazing, I was even able to get gender-affirming care through them, I came out as non-binary and it was welcomed!

It was truly a wonderful place to work.

And then the founder left. Retired to focus on his side business. And I felt it then, I knew things were going to go badly.

Sure enough, slowly but surely, things started to change.

They forced everyone into a hybrid model, even though before it was a choice to WFH. They did it in the name of culture and making meetings easier, but half my team is across the country. Most days I'm alone and I talk to nobody for all 8 hours.

They split my department in half, outsourcing 80% of the work to another company, who don't know how to handle the issues properly and it shows. Our customer satisfaction dropped SIGNIFICANTLY and I'm spending most of my day fixing mistakes the other company made.

Then they started backing these projects that everyone knew wasn't going to work, and sure enough, they didn't, and they laid off 20 people in the name of "being streamlined and nimble" (their exact words).

My husband (who worked at the same company in a different department) got fired because of an executive throwing a tantrum. It was either him or his whole team and he took the blame so they wouldn't all lose their jobs.

And because they swapped to a merit based raise increase (aka constantly be doing more work year over year) I haven't gotten a raise in 3 years and I barely get enough to cover our bills alone BARELY but my husband's unemployment is about to run out cause the gaming industry SUCKS and finding a job is really hard, and I'm not sure how we're going to get food.

I've been working every overtime and holiday shift they'll approve, but I'm also trying to lose weight so I can qualify for a necessary surgery, and I'm just so fucking exhausted all the damn time.

I hate this place. And it's so much worse because I used to love it. It used to be amazing. I used to think I would be there for a long time, at least until I got my own business up.

They crushed that dream too. Had to drain everything I'd saved up for it.

I hate them so much

Posted by admin Rodney

[dr-futbol-blog]

Before I Sleep, Pt. 6

So, something interesting happens. In the previous scene, we saw Sheppard's face as he was listening to Rodney McKay dying on the intercom in the reality in which they had been but briefly acquainted. We get to see McKay try to come to grips with what they had just heard Old Weir tell them about her world:

Old Weir: Despite your efforts, there was nothing you could do, Rodney. Within seconds the Control Room was flooded. McKay: I died?! Old Weir: You never gave up trying, right until the end.

In Hot Zone (S01E13), McKay thought he was dying and I mentioned how in their final moments, people show you who they really are. His last acts were to make sure that everyone else was safe and cared for. He told them to tell his sister that he died saving someone, as though it was something they needed to make up, even though he would factually have died attempting to save a lot of people, merely failing to see his own heroism. This is also emphasized by what he says here, as there are several times by now that he has found himself in this very situation even in our world:

McKay: Well, a man wonders how he would choose to go out, given such dire circumstances. Now I know. Old Weir: Trying to save the lives of others.

He is absolutely shocked by the news of having died. He's slow, sluggish. His legs actually give out from under him and he has to sit down. He looks to be close to tears. Now, we don't get to see Sheppard's reaction to this news for a long time. We see Old Weir watching him, we see the emotions play on McKay's face, we even see Weir react to this information, but not Sheppard. When we finally see him, he draws himself back on his chair and folds his arms, his tone flippant:

Sheppard: But ultimately failing. McKay: I'm sure if I had a few more seconds, I...

You might think this is a strange reaction. Like he couldn't care less about McKay dying. Like he just has to get a one-liner in because he's too cool for school or something. That this is just him continuing to banter, saying it to rile McKay up.

Like I mentioned, we just saw the face of the other Sheppard that had known McKay for about an hour, and he was definitely affected by his death. Our Sheppard has known McKay for much longer, they have been through many things together, McKay has saved his life multiple times, he has killed actual human beings to keep McKay safe, not to mention what ever else they may or may not have been doing that we don't know about. He cares about McKay very much, seems to be willing to do just about anything to keep him from dying and if it isn't yet, it will soon become his worst nightmare. It's definitely not something he takes lightly, something he would react breezily to. It's not something he finds humorous. So what's with the reaction?

As stated, we don't get to see his initial reaction to this news. We follow McKay who is so shaken by the news that he can't pay attention to anything else just then. What ever it made Sheppard himself feel, he had never seen McKay like this. He looked like he was just on the verge of spiraling down some really dark, existential thoughts, helpless and desperate to hear that it isn't true. And it's testament to how well Sheppard knows him that he finds the way to pull him back, and he does it so effortlessly. Sheppard points out that it wasn't him, this was someone else that died. He's not making fun of McKay, he takes a poke at his ego because he knows that it will annoy him, and indignation is infinitely better than seeing him fall apart there right in front of them. And he's right. He moment he says it, McKay's demeanor changes instantly and he gets defensive about the proficiency of someone that isn't even really him. He could have figured it out, he just needed a little more time. McKay's reaction to Sheppard is immediate, and his mood changes instantly.

We don't get to see Sheppard's reaction. He doesn't want them to see his reaction. This isn't John Sheppard reacting to the thought of McKay dying by sacrificing his life to save him, this is him putting his own emotions to the side so that he can do something for someone he cares about. He makes light of it to make it lighter, to remind him that he's still alive and that this happened to someone else, in some other world. Callous though it seems, it's an act of kindness.

Weir, however, has no time or patience for the Sheppard and McKay show at this time so he brushes right past them to questioning her older self for why this happened in their world. She explains, and as she turns her attention directly to Sheppard, he gives her this performative innocent but charming school boy look that has probably always worked on older women. What ever he's actually feeling or thinking about any of this, he has no intention of letting the others see it.

The first time Sheppard seems truly engaged and leans forward in his seat is when she mentions that they were in space and under attack by an unknown enemy, and it's not a coincidence we get him in this reaction shot with Teyla. Because there obviously were no wraith in our reality at that time since Sheppard himself was responsible for waking them, all of them.

This is something new, and this interests him very much. Here, you see actual raw emotion on his face for the first time since they found her.

Recounting her memories is taxing for the older Weir, and she passes out from the effort. Compared to his previous performative school boy look, here, watching this old frail woman crashing, he looks like an actual helpless young boy.

We don't know anything about his mother or his grand parents, but again I would be willing to bet that he had seen one of them suffer some kind of a stroke when he was fairly young. Someone he cared about.

Old Weir leaves them with a cliffhanger "And that's when John--" Much as he had just been telling himself that that McKay wasn't his McKay, he's suddenly very interested in what this other John had done, what he would have done in that situation. And this is why, while he had been avoiding being in her presence previously, we next find him joining Weir in the infirmary, waiting for her to regain consciousness again.

While he is still trying to patch things up with her, the purpose of this scene is not to show us a special connection between Sheppard and Weir, as they basically have the same conversation Weir had with McKay earlier. This scene is meant to contrast that earlier scene, and to show us that McKay is not very good at reading people--other than Sheppard. He's clearly on the spectrum and it takes him a while to catch up to what Weir must be feeling. Sheppard, on the other hand, can sympathize right away. While he's not good at dealing with his own emotions, he is good at reading people.

Compare this:

Sheppard: How's she doin'? Weir: Stabilised but still very weak -- and getting weaker. Sheppard: Your own mortality staring you right in the face. I can't imagine how you must be feeling,

With this:

McKay: I know what you're thinking. If she's been waiting in that stasis chamber all these millennia for us to arrive, why didn't the system automatically attempt to revive her the moment we got here? Answer: it did. I've been going over the data from our arrival. One of the first things we noticed was a sudden power surge in the section of the city where the stasis lab was. It was trying to revive her, only we didn't know that. All we saw was more power draining from an already nearly-depleted ZPM, so we shut down all secondary systems. Almost killed her... you. How weird is that, hmm? Weir: Very. Very, very weird. Looking at yourself -- how you will be. McKay: Actually, how you will be will be different than how she is right now. You see, the moment she went back in time, she created a separate reality -- a second "you" living in a parallel world; well, according to one of many interpretations of quantum theory. I mean, simply put, this interpretation states that, uh, the universe is in fact split into an infinite number of copies of itself in which every possible outcome to every decision ever made all exist somewhere in this infinitely layered multi-universe.

They are basically doing the same thing--checking up on Weir and how she's doing. Only, Sheppard is focused on how she's feeling where McKay is trying to comfort her by explaining and is focused on her thinking. He needs extra time and a lot more words to get to the place where he realizes that this has to be weird for Weir, and even then he doesn't empathize but attempts to make her feel better by telling her that she's not actually looking at herself. But these two scenes are in clear juxtaposition.

So, Sheppard is good at reading people. But people are not good at reading Sheppard because he doesn't want them to. He uses all manner of strategies to disguise how he's feeling and what he's thinking, he puts on personas and is very difficult to get to know. As discussed previously, this may have something to do with his childhood environment--we later learn that he comes from a very affluent family where a certain kind of behaviour and performance was expected and he almost certainly was sent to a boarding school as an adolescent. But further, not being straight in any of the three contexts (conservative family, boarding school, military) would have forced him to hide his emotions, conceal parts of who he is at all times. It forces one to live two parallel lives. So it's ironic that the person who seems to see him most accurately, with frightening clarity, is generally not very good at that kind of thing, at all.

And that the scene is precisely about this is confirmed by their next lines:

Weir: When she looks at me, it's as if she's sensing my thoughts, and I'm sensing hers. It's very unsettling. Sheppard: Just when you thought this place couldn't get any weirder...

Sheppard's face is doing some interesting things when she tells him this, and as he comments on it. He's looking down and away from her like he's concealing something, like he was lying to her (not even for the first time this day). It seems almost as though he didn't think the thought was particularly weird but instead something that he instantly recognized, that felt familiar. Why? Well, from the actual start of the episode Sheppard and McKay have been reading each other's thoughts from the other's face--they don't even need to be in the same goddamn room to do that, they can do it via intercom. They can do it when they're not in communication at all. And it's nothing supernatural, it's just a connection.

They know the other person so well that they not only can read them really well to the point of literally finishing each others' sentences and both speaking and acting as one person, but they've constructed an internal model of the other person so that when they're not with each other, they still kind of have the other person with them ("What would McKay do?"; "When McKay finds out, he's going to--", "I think the major could be in trouble"). And it's not because Atlantis is weird, it's because they've both found their special person in the other. I mean, it's entirely possible this thing would never had a chance of developing unless they were marooned in a whole other galaxy but you can't blame it on Atlantis.

And speak of the Devil, that's when McKay suddenly appears and inserts himself right between them like that's his rightful place. Like, he almost rests his chin on Sheppard's shoulder, that's how close he gets. And I will draw your attention to the fact that Sheppard does not draw back. Even if this was his best friend, a heterosexual man would instinctively take some space in that kind of a situation.

And once more, McKay isn't there to offer emotional support or to sympathize. He's been thinking things over and is there to explain things to them because that's what he can do. And I invite you to compare Sheppard's face here to his face when he was standing next to Weir listening to her. There, he was acting like a regular person, feeling at ease. Here, McKay is right up in his personal space. He basically walks into him. Sheppard keeps both wanting to look at him when he's speaking and to look away at the same time, he can't decide which he should be doing.

McKay: Well, it's obvious. The Puddle Jumper they escaped in must have been some sort of a time machine; had to have an additional component built into it. Sheppard: Flux capacitor! McKay: ...Yeah. The question is, where's the time machine now, hm?

If Sheppard was simply uncomfortable that the man is in his personal space, he would take a step and move away from him. That's a thing that people do. They don't even have to consciously think about it, giving other people space is a normal thing to do. And like, you can tell me he just wants to be close to Weir and hence doesn't move even though McKay came to cockblock him or what ever the mainstream audience wants to think is happening here, but they've been in each other's personal space for most of this episode and all the other times it was clearly out of Sheppard's choice/desire to be there more than McKay's.

Sure, McKay looked snug as a bug having Sheppard in his personal space, didn't look like he wanted to be anywhere else, but the previous times he was clearly boxed in by Sheppard. What this scene tells us is that a) the feeling is mutual and b) McKay's physical presence has a tangible effect on Sheppard and it's an effect he's not quite sure he should be having in front of Weir (or under the video surveillance in the room). That is what's making him uncomfortable.

And when Weir said that it's unsettling when that (reading each other's thoughts) happens, Sheppard did agree with that too. While they do seem to have this "bond that goes deeper than words, my friend, deeper than words," he does also find it unsettling, which we can see perfectly well here. Ever since the end of The Eye (S01E10), we have seen Sheppard try to avoid looking McKay in the eyes with varying success which works about as well as burying your head in the sand. You might think that if you're not looking at them, they can't read you, but McKay seems perfectly capable of reading Sheppard even when he's trying not to look at him.

There was an interesting scene in The Storm (S01E09), where the three of them are in McKay's lab, Sheppard gets up real close to McKay as he's explaining the plan and suddenly, in the middle of this conversation, McKay jolts and almost seems to panic, all out of the blue, for reasons that are never made clear. The same happens in the Jumper at the beginning of The Defiant One (S01E11), only it's Sheppard who suddenly jolts and draws back. Like, they are both shook by something while the other person doesn't seem to even be doing anything in particular.

It's like they both suddenly noticed that they were too close to the other man, and while they were admittedly close physically, it wasn't the physical proximity that literally threw them back. They both, in turn, experienced this and were unsettled by it. And it's really interesting that McKay experienced it first. Even leading up to McKay's revelation in The Storm, we see Sheppard read things off of McKay's face when he's with his science team, just having chewed them out and trying to pretend like everything is normal. Sheppard can instantly tell that this is just an act. But at that time, he had not yet been unsettled by it.

It's noticeable here, though, that as Sheppard doubles down on his earlier opinion on Back to the Future being a thing that he likes (and his tone tells us that he's still feeling some kind of way about McKay not sharing his love of it), this time McKay doesn't belittle it. The first time Sheppard made the reference, he didn't know that he liked it. Then Sheppard told him he likes that movie, so now it's a thing that McKay knows about him. So if it makes Sheppard feel better that they call the Ancient thingamajig a flux capacitor instead of a doohickey, he can do that. That also a thing that McKay could read off of Sheppard.

Anyway, I find it interesting that Sheppard tells Weir that he can't imagine how she must be feeling while they're discussing the ability of sensing someone's thoughts just by looking at them where McKay told Weir that he knows what she's thinking while completely misreading what she had been thinking. Add to this the fact that Sheppard confirmed McKay's reading of a situation with "Ah, there's a thought!" earlier. There are two people in that room who can sense each other's thoughts when they look at one another and we've seen them doing that for a while now. You know, in addition to the two Weirs.

Continued in Pt. 7

[parhelios]

Hi! Can you actually please elaborate on the stargate animorphs crossover thing? I am obsessed with both so this intrigues me 👀

OKAY! so this is more stargate atlantis + me playing fast and loose with animorphs canon, and an excuse to do a character study of john sheppard, because i love him.

this is part one, part two is here!

so in this au, long before john sheppard ever saw atlantis or the stargate, he knew that life existed beyond the stars. because john used to be tobias. for anyone more familiar with stargate than animorphs, tobias was trapped in the form of a redtail hawk, permanently, though he later regained the ability to morph into other forms, including his human self. in this au, the yeerk-human war was never revealed to the general populace, and everything was as hushed up as it could be. however, the us governement did not like the idea of someone with the morphing power they could not control, and therefore, shortly after the yeerks were defeated, tobias was forced by the us govt (and honestly as i type this i think maybe the rest of the living animorphs were involved bc they don't want tobias to have a lifespan of like 3 years as a hawk) to become a nothlit once more and trap himself in human form. he's placed by the government with a military family, and given a new name, since tobias at this point has been declared legally dead.

john sheppard grows up quiet and a little too intense for his peers who he is, a little too grown up (he is sixteen when the war ends but his human body was thirteen forever until it became his again). it takes him time to make his face emote like everyone else, to learn how to be charming to mask that hole inside him that longs to fly. (he never really kicks the prey drive - though catching darts out of the air does make for a fun party trick)

so he joins the air force. closest he'll get to flying again, there'll be no ellemist-ex-machina, but maybe he'll be able to capture a sliver of the life he lost. and john sheppard gets to see the stars, by a random, biological chance, and he can't help but wonder if it's not so random. if maybe his ATA is influenced by elfangor, by the eskafil device, by ellemist meddling - so much of his life has been touched by the unknown.

so john gets to atlantis like in canon, and quickly realizes that he is the only person in atlantis with clearance regarding the yeerk invasion. most of the early episodes go pretty much the same plot-wise, up until the genii invasion of atlantis. john going full guerrilla warfare/hawk mode is somehow more intense than in canon, and i think it definitely gets focus from his team. rodney, however, has been lowkey weirded out by some of john's behaviors since the start of the mission, having caught several of john's blank no-one-is-looking hawk expressions and has just been keeping a running tally of weird shit john does since, and this is just one more freaky fucking thing on john's tally.

nothing super comes of it though, and on the mission to chaya sar's planet, things end up changing for john quite a bit. this is where the au really kicks off, as chaya sar can sense something is different about john, and when he meets with her alone and she tells him she cannot intervene, she tells him that there is one thing she can do, just for him. it turns out that the ellemist is a rogue ancient who fucking loves meddling (told u we're fast and loose w/ animorphs canon) and because she would technically just be undoing some of that meddling, she can give john back his red-tailed hawk form, and only that, without a time limit.

so now john can literally fly again, and that changes things.

part two

[crispy-ghee]

Can I barrow your OC Rodney "Duster" Lawrence, and his back story for a little fic idea I’d like to do? And are you ok if it’s Yaoi-friendly?

And if so, can I bother you to ask what would your ideas and back story be of a ‘Magic’ type OC in your world. Duster needs his rival/other half!

Haha, go ahead, if you want to have fun with Duster, I won't stop you. I'm also fine w/ yaoi-friendly. Duster's always been a repressed bisexual in my head.

The "Magic" in that story, would be Camron Irving, nicknamed "Sweet" for his personality as well as how his skill on the basketball court used to be described by his uncles growing up. Camron is in his early twenties, a couple years younger than Rodney, though their important interactions would be Camron's senior year in college, where he's a a star point guard for East Los Templos University and probably heading towards being the #1 draft pick.

From a large hardworking, working class family in a city several hours away from Los Templos (where he goes to school and Rodney currently lives/works). He first met Rodney in High School, when their schools were gunning for the state championship against each other, though Camron didn't get much play time back then since he was a freshman. He did get to see and admire Duster's game though, as well as the hype surrounding him, and kept a little bit of an eye on him as they moved through high school and Duster entered college.

A bright kid, Camron graduated high school a year early and went to Aguilar University just outside Los Templos, transferring to East Los Templos University his sophomore year. By that time Duster had "disappeared," having dropped out of university and deciding to try and quietly work for a living.

Camron discovers him on a random basketball court playing pick up games a year or so later, and, despite his life as a student and a rising star college athlete being so full, started trying to play him regularly on those city courts, all the while trying to find out 1) what happened that made someone as talented as Duster quit something that he *obviously* loved and *still* loved, 2) try to convince Duster to go back to college, try to get back to playing basketball seriously, live his dream, make it to the league.

It's a persistence that Duster finds extremely annoying and sometimes angering, but at the same time, he can't stop playing this guy--it's the closest thing he gets to real competition anymore. He simultaneously hates and admires this guy for this reason.

[lightthewaybackhome]

This Mortal Coil

Our first hint that something isn't right comes from Lorne (LORNE!) having to have it explained to him that the threat is more important than the inconvenience. I actually remembered exactly how this episode ended but not how it started, so I was a bit turned around for a moment, which was actually fun.

I love that even when you build a body from nanites, when a machine builds a body, if you fill it with the person's memories, if you create that person, they will do what that person would do. I love that basically if you make them human, and then make them Sheppard, Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, and Elizabeth, you shouldn't be surprised when they act like them. Stubborn and a bit pesky.

I love getting to have Elizabeth back for just a moment. The pain on Sheppard and Rodney's face when they see her again is so heart-wrenching. I love their reaction to their duplicates. I love the duplicates being disturbed that they can't go back to Atlantis but fighting for her anyway. I love that Rodney thinks it's cool and Ronon thinks it is disturbing to meet himself. I love that Ronon feels like everyone is acting weird, that he picks up on it. Maybe it's because Sheppard was actually holding his own while they sparred.

But, the hardest part of this episode is when John "We Don't Leave Our People Behind' Sheppard has to come to grips with the fact that he has lost Elizabeth. He can't rescue her. He can't get her back. She's gone. It's one more person he's been forced to leave behind and it hurts.

[themadauthorshatter]

Part 3 of Robots Rewritten, bitches, LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!

Tw for robot gore/violence for this part. This final battle is going to be greasy, as it's said in the original

We pick up where we left off with the outmode crew and Bigweld going to Bigweld Industries, much to the surprise of all witnesses. Bigweld still has Rodney and Cappy wait, but frames it more as a, "Let the adult handle this," and also gives a bit of a parental push for Cappy by encouraging her to stick with Rodney so he doesn't stir up trouble. While Bigweld goes inside, Rodney and Cappy talk, admitting that neither knows what happens after this, but Cappy goes in to tell Rodney how genuinely grateful she is he ever came to the city, as she would never have been as brave as him to make a difference to this extent. The best Rodney comes up with in return, after some self hyping, is asking Cappy on a date, a proper one where he's himself and not wearing a dumb disguise. It makes them both laugh, but Cappy agrees on the condition that they pick what the other HAS TO wear. When Rodney dares her to repeat that, Fender and the others join in by giving odeas for what Rodney could have Cappy wear, i.e. something onutmode-ish and silly, and time's are just fun for a second as they wait a little bit

Ratchet still sees Bigweld and PANICS, and still "charms" his way to the point he knocks Bigweld out, and knocks some screws loose. Things proceed as they do in the original with Ratchet ordering Bigweld taken to the Chop Shop along with Rodney and Cappy, thought Rodney does onject and demand that Ratchet leave Cappy alone, maybe even kicks him and sees how weak Ratchet's upgrades are. The chase still occurs because it's genuinely entertaining, and Cappy shows off her rollerblading

The chase ends the same way, the outmodes go to the Chop Shop to foght, and the final battle starts the same way as it does in the original, with Gasket realizing Rodney is the one causing her so much trouble and revealing the giant Sweepers and that the outmodes are outnumbered. UNTIL PIPER AND THE ROBOTS RODNEY HELPED SHOW UP!!

The fight is very much the same as it is in the orginal, with everyone fighting their own battle, though after saving Bigweld, Rodney does an "awesome, badass nerd" move by swinging in(with a push from Wonderbot) to save Cappy from Chop Shop workers; she got separated from the outmodes and got outnumbered. (A visual gag could be Bigweld high-fiving Wonderbot for added humor. You'll see why it's needed soon)

Gasket ultimately has to retreat from the fight on the Giant Sweepers, and Ratchet gets the Sweepers activated.

Cappy, Rodney, and Bigweld all see it happen, but Rodney gets an idea, though he tells Cappy to stay where she is so she's safe. Cappy obviously refuses, but Rodney begs her to because he doesn't want anything to happen to Cappy; his idea is a dangerous one. There's back and forth, but Cappy ultimately kisses Rodney, who she makes promise her that he's going to come back and take her on that date he offered. He obviously does and moves out

Like in the original, Rodney and Bigweld swing down from a giant saw to knock over the Giant Sweepers, thank goodness too because they were closing in on the outmodes.

Ratchet sees Bigweld and Rodney swing toward him and has momentary panic before throwing himself at Rodney at the last moment, sending the two on a conveyor belt. The momentum also sends Gasket into the same chains Ratchet ends up in, in the original, so she's next to her husband

The Giant Sweepers are taken out and the outmodes rush to get Bigweld and make sure he's okay. Rodney and Ratchet have landed on one of the higher up conveyor belts, but they're also low to the point that Cappy cannot reach either of them. Just explaining that now before we get to what I consider the climax's climax:

Angry beyond all reason, Ratchet essentially flies off the handle, whaling on Rodney with anything he can grab, like a hammer, wrench, thin pipe, whatever, and Rodney tries to stop him and defend himself. Ratchet only shouts about how Rodney ruined everything, being a stupid kid who's slowly falling apart and can't scrape up enough to even build himself into something better. Wonderbot does try helping, but is backhanded away, though Rodney is able to kick Ratchet back and try running. Ratchet only knocks him back down again

Basically put, Ratchet goes Ratigan and just wants Rodney dead. It's nit a completely one sided fight, as Rodney, is getting a few hits in and taking advantage of bith his stronger, "outdated" metal to keep from getting his face smashed in, and the thinner, less reliable upgrade metal Ratchet has, both weakening Ratchet, and riling him up further. At one point in their scuffle, Ratchet has Rodney on his back again with the two having that sort of "push 'contest'" where there's a bar/pipe between them and while one's pushing down two kill the other, the other is pushing up to not die, Ratchet says he should have taken care of Rodney the first chance he had, maybe even thrown him out of the window without his little dishwashing invention so he wouldn't be a problem in Ratchet's city

Rodeny, who's been beaten to high hell, shouts that the city isn't Ratchet's, never has been and never will be, and he does a risky move after saying that, having seen where one conveyor belt meets another, by having the wheels catch Ratchet's arm, just enough to get him to let go of Rodney.

The two have one final stand off, both beaten tired, and with their metal and bodied badly damaged. Ratchet has armed himself with a hammer, ready to smash Rodney to pieces once he moves, but Rodney, is unarmed, refusing to take a wrench Wonderbot is trying to give him, and even looking at a picture of his parents and Cappy and his friends he's got in his arm compartment.

Ratchet admits he probably won't have the city, won't have Bigweld Industries, and won't have every outmode either melted down or looking as shiny as he is, but he can at least have the satisfaction of getting rid of Rodney himself, which is a shame because he really could've used somone as inventive as Bigweld, but easier to push around. Rodney, seeing that the two are DANGEROUSLY close to the flames meant to melt down metal, only tells Ratchet that he'd rather be himself than anything like Ratchet, saying so as he runs forward and tackles Ratchet off the conveyor belt

It leads to the two also smalling into the wall and falling onto the new metal conveyor belt. Ratchet is down for the count while Rodney has enough energy to at least push himself up. AT LEAST, until the conveyor belt doors slam with him caught between them

It causes MANY robots to scream, especially as they see Rodney fall out of the doors once they're open again. Everyone swarms to get Ratchet and Gasket and get the two out and arrested, as they are responsible for mass murder, and to see Rodney, Cappy pushing and rushing through the crowd and shouting for everyone to let her through. Fender stops her, not wanting her to see how badly damaged Rodney really is. Cappy still shouts for him to let her go and let her see Rodney.

Camera poc, there are glimpses of Rodney as people swarm around, all quiet and asking if he's dead or not. Cappy ultimately breaks free and gets to her childhood friend, and freezes once she does.

Rodney is HORRIBLY broken apart, having been nearly been broken in half by the doors. The fight had left one arm broken to the point the covering has come off. Much of his body had been badly dentes, but now it's tenfold. He has had an eye broken in the fight, his mohawk is broken and he's almost completely covered in grease(not blood, relax). His legs were also fairly damaged, but more more than the other; he would have been limping before the door slammed on him. It's enough to make Cappy fall to her knees and hold Rodney close to her, in shock and refusing to let him go as the outmodes try to get the two to move. Camera pov again, Rodney's hand twitches and the screen fades, giving a small hint that he is alive

We see it's true when Rodney comes to in his house, back home, in HORRIBLE pain and having some trouble seeing clearly. He sees his parents sitting close by and when they twarfully ask how he is, he admits he feels awful, having had the most screwed up dream ever and not being able to move very well, so he'll have to call in and try to get a day off. Rodney's mother cries as she holds Rodney's hand, though Rodney's father just looks away for a moment before asking Rodney what he remembers last

Rodney, confused, basically says he left for Bigweld city, but the city was being taken over by someone who wanted to destroy outmodes and make everyone upgraded, but Rodney and the outmodes stopped the robot responsible

Before either of his parents can speak, Rodney is tapped on the shoulder and he looks over to see Fender, who asks Rodney how he slept and if his fabulous new legs were in that dream of his. Rodney realizes that, yeah, NONE of it was a dream and sits up to hug his parents and Fender, crying because of everything that happened and because he's home and ALIVE

Fender, who's getting misty eyed himself, tells Rodney not to get too weepy when he's got some repairs done, including a new eye that they don't want fogging up yet, and he's got a special someone to introduce his parents to, and it's not Rodney's polished girlfriend

With some help getting up, Rodney, his parents, and Fender all walk outside, where Rodney sees both the bots from the city and his friends hanging out when the boys from his hometown, even seeing Bigweld talk to Aunt Fanny because I think they're damn cute. Also out and about, but not talking to anyone is Cappy, who's holding a dejected Wonderbot in her hands. That changes when Wonderbot lights up upon seeing Rodney and flying over to him as fast as possible, maybe even using his wire(?) Arms and legs to hug Rodney before lightly bonking him on the head for almost getting himself killed. Cappy is utterly speechless, even while Rodney fumbles over himself apologizing to her, but Cappy hugs him, which he reciprocates because he really needs a hug

The two only break their hug when Bigweld comes in to check on Rodney and see how he's doing, seeing as he's up and moving. He's asking because he's got an announcement:

He's come all the way to the small town to personally announce the remaking and redistribution of spare parts for all robots and, once he's all healed up and himself again, he's hiring Rodeny to work for him and, when Bigweld retires, will make Rodney his successor, if Rodney would like to be. Rodney asks if that should go to Cappy instead, and Cappy, a little cheery, asks Rodney who he thinks gave Bigweld the idea to hire Rodney in the first place. Bigweld also jokingly chides Rodney and tells him to respect the new leader of his industry, though she'll be acting more as his assistant manager or something

It's all good news, and when Rodney looks to his parents, they're HELLA proud of him and they tell him. Rodney does falter for a second in agreeing, but it's ultimately his parents's approval and the mostly silent encouragement from everyone that gets him to agree(it's not peer pressure, don't worry). It's also some encouragement from Rodney's father that helps, said encouragement being that his father didn't necessarily get to go after what had been his dream, a chance he doesn't want Rodney to miss by any means. When Rodney points out how His father could still have time to pursue his dream, his father only tells Rodney that Rodney himself is that dream, telling his son that he's always made him proud and he just knows that Rodney will continue doing doing great things. The two hug and there is the stipulation that Rodney NOT get himself nearly killed in his line of work again, but still. Happy serotonin all around

After agreeing, it's celebrating all around, though, Cappy pulls Rodney away after a while so the two can get some quiet time. Admittedly, she's a little upset, but more at the fact she almost lost her best friend. Rodney apologizes, as that was one of his dumber ideas, but right as he goes to promise he won't do anything stupid like that again, he stops himself, and he and Cappy kiss. Fender, Piper, and the other Robot City friends see it, Lug trying not to cry, Piper and Crank being fairly impressed, Diesel being shocked before turning to give them some privacy, and Fender giving a, "not bad," at the scene

Diesel does shoo everyone away with Wonderbot's help, but the kiss leaves Rodney with some trouble standing, as he still isn't used to his new legs yet, maybe even asking how Fender got used to his new legs so fast. Cappy just tells him not to worry about it and just stays by Rodney's side, though does remind him that he owes her that date more than ever now. Rodney, remembering their agreement, wishes her well in finding him something that will go with is mish-moshed parts. It's supposed to be a cute, sweet ending where we don't think about the horrible trauma the characters must have from the story's events, and wrap up on a happy note as Rodney and Cappy kiss again, though Rodney surprises her by picking her up and spinning her around, making them both laugh even when they inevitably fall down; Cappy is unharmed because she lands on Rodney, who is also unharmed

In true 2005 fashion, the ending has a dance sequence, because why not, with the characters cutting a rug and being silly, maybe even a cut of Gasket and Ratchet, if he survived, sitting in prison scowling in their defeat while Ratchet's father is dancing along as well

The ending shot is of a picture taken of nearly everyone together, though it does turn into a freeze frame as the credits roll

AND THAT WAS A PG-13 TAKE ON ROBOTS!!! I really hope you guys liked this 3-parter, sorry if this last part got a little intense, I had a certain image in my head that I just had to share with the rest of you, and this was honestly my way of putting context to that image

Not saying what that image was, but I'm sure you can guess😁

Fr, I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading this!!!

[spurious]

They're curled together in Rodney's bed, afterglow fading into something quiet and soft, when Rodney remembers the email he'd gotten from Jeannie earlier that day.

"Oh, you're going to like this," he says, grabbing his tablet and pulling up the image folder. "Jeannie sent over a bunch of digitized pictures from a half-decade of miserable family gatherings."

John grins, and Rodney knows he's hoping for material for teasing, but Rodney's already pre-screened the images, so he probably won't find—

"Jesus," John says, his eyes big, and Rodney panics, face heating up, before John continues, "you're always talking about how handsome you were when you were younger, but I thought you were just…" He licks his lips, swallows, and Rodney feels himself blushing for an entirely different reason, now. "Wow."

"Yeah, I know," Rodney mumbles, feeling somehow both flattered and annoyed, not to mention weirdly jealous of his younger self. "What happened, right?"

John shakes his head, eyes flicking from the tablet screen up to Rodney's face, then back again. "It's still you," he says, "just…different."

He seems, somehow, to be sincere, so Rodney just shrugs, lets John flip through the pictures, Rodney at fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen.

"Man, if I'd met you back then I totally would've tried to suck you off in a bathroom stall," John says, quiet and offhand, and Rodney shudders, swallows hard. John looks at him, half-smiling, and sets the tablet aside. "Think you would've…"

-

commentary please!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

one HUNDRED years later, an answer for the fic commentary meme: send 500 words or less of a fic, get rambles about it!

this is Teenage Dream, a fic about lost queer youth and the sexual power of star wars on VHS.

They're curled together in Rodney's bed, afterglow fading into something quiet and soft, when Rodney remembers the email he'd gotten from Jeannie earlier that day.

I initially kind of intended for this fic to just be the pillow talk part of it: I find the thought of John and Rodney affirming each other like this to be really sweet and I wanted to explore it a little bit.

"Oh, you're going to like this," he says, grabbing his tablet and pulling up the image folder. "Jeannie sent over a bunch of digitized pictures from a half-decade of miserable family gatherings." John grins, and Rodney knows he's hoping for material for teasing, but Rodney's already pre-screened the images, so he probably won't find— "Jesus," John says, his eyes big, and Rodney panics, face heating up, before John continues, "you're always talking about how handsome you were when you were younger, but I thought you were just…" He licks his lips, swallows, and Rodney feels himself blushing for an entirely different reason, now. "Wow."

every time i see images of young David Hewlett i feel like i am going insane. like i find him hot at every age but he was fucking. PRETTY when he was younger ok??? and it makes me crazy to think of Rodney McKay having looked like that. and of course he thinks John's going to make fun of him, still doesn't quite believe that someone like John would be attracted to him.

"Yeah, I know," Rodney mumbles, feeling somehow both flattered and annoyed, not to mention weirdly jealous of his younger self. "What happened, right?" John shakes his head, eyes flicking from the tablet screen up to Rodney's face, then back again. "It's still you," he says, "just…different."

like i said, i love them affirming each other like this!

He seems, somehow, to be sincere, so Rodney just shrugs, lets John flip through the pictures, Rodney at fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. "Man, if I'd met you back then I totally would've tried to suck you off in a bathroom stall," John says, quiet and offhand, and Rodney shudders, swallows hard. John looks at him, half-smiling, and sets the tablet aside. "Think you would've…"

so the fic goes on to the two of them sort of falling into a little roleplay of what it would've been like if they'd met when they were teenagers, what it would've been like if John had tried something with Rodney way back then, how Rodney might've reacted. i think Rodney really wants for John to be the key for him, because he's used to John changing his life, John opening up new experiences for him. one of the things that i find so compelling about mcshep is how emotionally battered they both are when they find each other, how they clearly don't believe themselves to be worthy of love; as much as that aspect of them is important to me, it's also very healing to imagine the two of them having each other's backs in their youth the way they do as adults.

[littlekisaa]

Hey Doctor~

--------Reverse Dipcifica--------

A/n: Hey Guys! This one shot is mostly inspired by the author name Kaori_Miyazono, a huge rev dipcifica writer. This sstory is mostly about insane Dipper Gleeful interacting w/ his lively Dr Pacifica Southeast where things get interesting So w/o any further delay let's get started!

~

Pacifica

I believe in the world of psychiatry we have the goal to help unlock the mysteries of the human brain. A duty devoted to the diagnosis, prevention, and treatment of deleterious mental conditions of our patient.

And when I heard of a certain patient who had a case of making some psychiatrists go insane by interviewing them or worse, driven to death, I knew I had to take that opportunity.

“Are you certain that you wanted to handle this particular patient?” said my advisor. “He doesn't seem like any other one you’ve handled before, he seems rather more than unstable”

While walking at the solitary confinement w/ my advisor who was concerned about my well being we were guided by the guard who walked with us to the confession room.

“I’m positive” I reassured him.  “I know what I’m getting myself into so you don’t have to worry”. I was confident, thinking it’ll be a breeze like my other cases.

“Just… be careful, I had my fair share of interacting w/ him”. He shivered at that thought when he recalled the experience. I nodded “Miss�� and called the guard who waited for me at the door. “Well that’s my cue, wish me luck” I smiled a little and walked off.

He unlocks it and I went in but before that the guard gave me a reminder “If he causes any trouble, don’t hesitate to call and i’ll be happy to take him back to solitary”

“That won’t be necessary” I replied smoothly and he nodded then left  walking a few halls away so he could get there in case the patient acted out.

There on the opposite side, I came face to face w/ the infamous patient himself, who was prominent in the community of psychiatry well more or less. He was sitting in a cunning manner as his hair was swept to the side showing his birthmark and his cold icy blue eyes staring at me. I thought he would be the age of Ted Bundy or Rodney Alcala but he was much younger than them.

Mason Gleeful

Age: 23

Says on the front page I guess he was the same age as me…  “So you’ll be my next doctor then” he chuckled. I frowned slightly as I took my seat, clicking my pen. With that the session had now begun.

“Right… I haven’t formally introduced myself. Nice to meet you, I’m Dr Southeast and you’ll be my patient for now, you must be Mason right?” I confirm while looking down at his paper examining the contents of it.

“Dipper, call me Dipper” he insist

“I see… And why’s that?”  I asked

“It’s just the name I prefer, that’s all” he answered then started swaying his chair back and forth, maybe it’s because of boredom or what? But whatever the case maybe I’m not backing down w/o an answer

“Alright, Now that’s settled let’s focus on the matter at hand for starters why are you in solitary?”.

Dipper scoffs and says “Always the same and repetitive question”. while he slumps on his chair without a care. “Tell me something that I don’t know Doc”.

“Very well then for one you started a riot that all the prisoners pointed out that you’re responsible for. Try to sneak out numerous times and the most recent one is physically hurting your roommate last night” I readed out loud on the sheets of paper “Why?”

He just shrugged and gave a blunt answer “The riot is just for fun cause I got bored, Sneaking out? I don’t know what you’re talking about and that roomate of mine? Don’t worry about him, he's fine plus why stay in this boring room when I can create entertainment for all of us to enjoy” Even though my face externally looked calm and reserved but internally, eyes widened, baffled by his unremorseful action, I was wrong, I put my guard down because of it. He's something else.

“Now Dipper, you know very well that your action caused consequences, a very bad one. many people were injured as well as that roomate of yours who you said was fine but was critically wounded” I looked at him.

“Oh really? Wow sucks to be him right now yet lucky if not those  pesky guards were there and try and hold me” he commented while crossing his arms “He should’ve had kept his mouth shut rather than asking it”

“And that is?” I raised my eyebrows. “On why I ended up here, I came here like the person did” he answered

“Violence isn’t the answer Dipper, Every action has its reason. What causes you to do such a thing?

“He was annoying and so are you” he smirked thinking I would be affected but to his disappointment I ignored his insult. “Ok, continuing on, Do you feel any remorse for your action?” 

“What remorse?” he sighed “Look between you and me I could’ve killed him right then and there and if I’m being honest I could’ve tormented you for the last 10 mins like the other doctors I had because you’re starting to bore me,  yet…” he smiled which made me uneasy. “If you aren’t that cute I would’ve done it sweetheart”

Did he just call me sweetheart?

“Refrain yourself by calling me sweetheart all right? " I said sternly. "We’re losing off topic Dipper, now let’s get back to-”

“Hold that thought” He cut me off “Let’s change the topic, why not talk about you for a change, I want to know more about you sweetheart”

I was getting a little irritated by his persistence, gripping my clipboard to control emotion. I again calmly told him off “will you quit calling me sweetheart, your behavior is becoming very inappropriate” discouraging his flirtatious move. 

“Awee don’t be like that I do whatever I want, so you either live w/ it or leave w/ it” He smiled rather sadistically “A sour attitude doesn’t suit you at all because a sugar like you will be sweet that can be rationed”

“I-...I  lost you there” I said, backing away for a bit. “getting distracted are we? Admit it…” he stood off his chair and walked towards me leaning closer “... you are getting distracted because you’re so into me”

“How Am I into you?” I asked, still keeping my composure “I’m just your psychiatrist”.

“And I’m your patient, which we both know that this kind of relationship is deemed inappropriate, yes?” He confirmed. “Exactly and so does your attitude, now can you please sit back down so we can finish our discussion” I said now getting irritated.

“How ‘bout no-” Dipper refused “Hey Doctor, have you ever kissed someone before?”.

That’s a BOLD move coming out from him. “That’s NONE of your business Dipper, one last warning, sit down or I have to call security”

And with that he finally listened and backed away, putting his hands in the air as if he surrendered. “Fine you win fair play sweetheart, I love to play hard to get anyways”.

“This isn’t a game. I don’t know what your idea is of playing hard to get but it needs to get out of your head” I said. Now feeling exhausted I was ready to end this session because Dipper was starting

to get really creepy, this was a mistake, I should’ve listened to my advisor. Before I recollected my thoughts I was pin down into my chair unexpectedly. there came face to face w/ him “Dipper wha-”

And before I knew it he kissed me, It was rough and needy as he touched my cheek to deepen it. I tried to resist by breaking it but somehow I didn’t protest it.

The kiss lasted a full minute until we decided to let go, catching our breath. Blushing and angered at his outrageous move, I couldn't say anything, but him. He was amused. “Too late now you’re stuck in my mind, and so are you”.

With that the guard finally came in and restrained him “Perfect timing” he chuckled. The guard cuffed him and said “Alright, enjoy solitary for a while and then you'll continue your sessions with Dr Southeast”.

“Lovely~, Hey Doctor, Can’t wait for our next session” he laughs menaichally as I watch him and the guard leave at the confession room. Alone and thinking about the incident a shiver ran down my spine that I couldn’t help but to touch my lips.

He kissed me-

…

“I needed to resign after this”.

~

[canonically47]

canonically47.tumblr.com/post/742593997706559488

this one

okay well total drama has a LOT of obvious mistakes and most of them come from the time in which it was written and published and the rushed season of only 13 instead of 26 episodes starting with ROTI

i also feel like they treat their characters and ships very badly, making them go right back where they started if they ever get any growth, which rarely happens. or their development is too sudden and not believable. priya, max, scarlett, that mini-arc shasmine had about splitting the money, aleheather in TDWT, prileb in TD 2024...

i rewatched ROTI and the girls were mistreated horribly. what can you expect from a season where the finalists are two guys? dakota’s internal issues were never discussed further than a funny haha moment when dawn read her aura, dawn never got to do anything for her team and her elimination was rushed, jo’s internalized mysoginy was a haha joke and never adressed properly, zoey had a whole villain-and-back-to-hero arc and STILL didn’t make finale???

also i hate when they introduce some groups and never further develop them, or develop them very little. lindsay, beth and ezekiel could’ve been an ICONIC trio. i miss leshawna and gwen’s friendship so much, and same goes for bowie and emma. jo and brick had so much potential to become allies or at least frenemies, amy and sammy were not handled well, THE E-SCOPE TRIO!!! i’m in shambles

so if i wrote TDI i’d just give the characters some proper development, more moments to shine, more fun relationships with the others. this show is based on its characters, they’re the stars!! so why not make them shine instead of burn??

gen 1 is too much work to rewrite but i’d keep TDI about the same except have a leshawna vs gwen finale, with leshawna as a ‘canon’ winner. TDA would have a harold vs lindsay finale with harold as the ‘official’ winner.

in TDWT i’d cut the duncney-gwuncan arc, make duncan never come back cuz fuck that guy, gwourtney wins. sierra gets better development. noah makes merge and fulfills his schemer role, constantly sabotaging alejandro. they become frenemies. aleheather still wins and goes to finale. alejandro doesn’t get the robot costume and we don’t hear from him again until TDAS.

for ROTI, would make jo a proper antagonist and make her butt heads with scott when the merge happened. my final six for ROTI would be scott, jo, zoey, brick, lightning and anne maria. yes, brick and anne maria, you read that right.

i still think scott shouldn’t make finale, and jo only if she got development. so maybe the merge could happen just two episodes earlier to get more stuff out of them, so the merge would include cameron and mike. scott would go before jo, and jo would be left to fend for herself after scott got cameron eliminated. this is where i would make her develop a friendship with anne maria and brick. get zoey in there and you have the anti-scott alliance. they get him out (NO TRAUMA CHAIR NEEDED, HE WILL BE FINE) and then lightning, then the girls unite against brick. sorry man.

the finale would be between two of the girls, i’d like to see jomaria or joey fight, jo needs that development. the one who gets out previously is an insta-elimination and not decided by the others.

and voilá! jo gets development and some healthy friendships! her and brick could also get together but maybe in another season. this season is for her alone to shine, she deserves it.

oh, and that’s the main thing about ROTI - i’d give them two more seasons. they deserve a WT-esque season.

i’d completely rewrite TDPI. make rodney first diss when the girls are disgusted by him (and also shit him cuz fuck him), dave an earlier boot, get beardo like third or fourth cuz i wanna see more of him, give scarlett a proper character arc instead of a rushed one throughout just one episode, make max a bit smarter and let him become a ‘hero’ rather than a villain he wants to be by rescuing everyone from scarlett since he knows her weaknesses best...

my ideal final five are shawn, jasmine, max, topher and ella. also my five favorites so no wonder. i’ll explain their arcs.

topher - 5th: shawn and jasmine, as well as max and ella, become duos after the scarlett incident (maybe it happens earlier?), and topher is outside of any alliance. plus he was getting kinda annoying, not to mention he gave chris too many ideas for challenges. damn it, topher!

ella - 4th: when she is forbidden from singing, she still goes behind chris’ back and does it, only that she intercepts sugar’s note and burns it. sugar is an earlier boot than originally because ella realizes she just hates her guts and she’s trying to befriend her for nothing. when ella stops singing, she puts her head in the game more than usual, but her refusal to hurt animals and serenade them instead gets her out eventually, by chris, not by the others.

max - 3rd: with no alliance and a softer spot than usual, he gets out at his own, last challenge.

finale: shawn vs jasmine

the same conflict about splitting the money, only that it comes earlier and is developed more. for one, chris shows jasmine the confessionals right after max’s voting ceremony.

shawn’s helper ends up being ella, but she’s been watching from playa des losers and is unhappy with how shawn treated jasmine. meanwhile, max is jasmine’s helper. max and jasmine sabotage shawn, ella doesn’t help him, but then when max and ella are given the controls for the island, they both realize the gravity of what they’ve done when they see shawn and jasmine buried in snow.

both jasmine and shawn get an ending. in both endings, jasmine gets out of the snow, doesn’t pay attention to the finish line, and goes to search for shawn, who pops out in confusion. the two have a heart-to-heart interrupted by chris to announce the race is still happening, and they have ten seconds left. in shawn’s ending, jasmine just nods to him and he crosses; in jasmine’s ending, shawn insists she crosses. pretty similar endings, the outcome is about the same, but i like to think jasmine’s is the ‘canon’ one.

and then they get another season!

so, our seasons are...

gen 1 - 3 seasons: total drama island, total drama action, total drama world tour

gen 2 - 3 seasons: total drama revenge of the island, total drama retour, total drama cruise or lose

gen 3 - 2 seasons: total drama pahkitew island, total drama reaction

gen 1 x gen 2 x gen 3: total drama all stars

TDAS would include eight contestants of each generation. gen 1 gets heather, alejandro, owen, noah, gwen, courtney, sierra, and leshawna. gen 2 gets jo, anne maria, zoey, mike, brick, cameron, lightning and scott. gen 3 gets shawn, jasmine, topher, max, ella, sugar, sammy and scarlett.

and then for the reboot i’d just make bowie win for the first season. the second season would have more development.

emma and bowie become friends again. mkulia become reluctant allies but still dislike each other. eventually they warm up to each other tho 👀. ripaxel also happens over the course of more episodes. couples butt heads - mkulia, rajbow and ripaxel - but mkulia dominate the game. short ripaxel-mkulia alliance in which they get out prileb (who have a better development trust), wayne and bowie.

damien gets to keep his immunity idol but doesn’t need to use it until the final five: axel, julia, mk, damien and raj. the girls unite against him, but he and raj voted for julia, so you can imagine mk is unhappy, but damien wins immunity. yikes.

so finale time is damien, raj and axel. everyone gets an ending, but damien is the ‘canon’ winner because HE DESERVED IT COME ON.

[mrmeowziii]

Rodney’s bro Ryder- The emotional artsy type.

Ryder Parker was born five minutes before his younger twin Ralphie, both of them part of their mother’s final pregnancy. After not only having a boy again, but having TWO boys instead of a girl, their mother finally decided to accept her fate and gave up on trying to have a daughter. Would she have ever had one? Eight boys in a row was enough to convince her otherwise. Back to the twins, they were the first to not be born with red hair, a shock because ALL of their other kids had. Ryder was an emotional child that would often cry- very unlike most of his siblings. This is something that would stick with him for a long time.

Neither twin had much time with their mother, and they don’t remember her- she died three months after having them. Instead, they remember the one who filled her role, their older brother Ryan. He took on most of the care of the twins and their brother Rowan- though Rodney and occasionally Richard would help too. Ryder specifically grew very attached to his caretaker, and would often cry until Ryan appeared to help him. As he aged, he developed the same dependence on his twin Ralphie. The two spent a lot of time together, and even though they grew to have very different interests, that wouldn’t change. Ralphie would often take the lead when doing things, and Ryder would follow behind him without question. In school, Ralphie got into sports and became quite popular, carrying the legacy of being the youngest Parker, a family that’d consistently enrolled a child in school pretty much every year until the twins. Just like most times, Ryder would follow him- though it really wasn’t his crowd.

At home, Ryder found himself developing an interest in art, and would often experiment with different media. Though initially scared of his brother Roy, Ryder would eventually open up with him and the two of them would go out into the forest to meditate/ get inspiration for paintings. Ryan encouraged his interest by getting him any art supplies he could find. Ralphie would try to bring his friends over to have painting sessions with his brother, but it would always end up being awkward for everyone but him. Ryder appreciated it regardless- his brother was just trying to keep him happy. He sure did that a lot…

An obviously vulnerable person, Ryder would often find himself the target of bullying- from random kids, and his own family. Robbie in particular seemed to like to pick on him, but Ryder could never find it in himself to fight back. Ralphie would of course step up, something Ryder would be grateful for, but would also only make him feel weaker. Ryder was the first person Ralphie would come out to, something that wouldn’t surprise him at all. You hear a guy talk about his teammates’ muscles enough times, and you start to get a solid idea. His support would motivate his twin to embrace his identity much more openly. Ryder was always proud of him- he wished he could be strong like Ralphie…

Ryder is straight, though he’s very in tune with his emotions. He does wish he could be more confident, but he has no problem expressing what he’s feeling or with how others express themselves. He himself prefers clothing that softens him a bit, like big puffy sweaters and snow boots. He goes to college for an Art Degree despite his brother Rowan’s protests, and ends up making some good friends- all of whom are girls. He eventually gets married in his late 20’s, and has two daughters with his wife. A real girl’s guy.

Ryder is obviously the most connected with his brother Ralphie, basically idolizing him. The two do not spend much time apart. (Fun fact, their relationship influences how Rodney initially sees Amy and Sammy- because he assumes all twins are like his younger brothers. Later on he would realize that error in judgement.) Ryan and Rodney are next, because they basically raised him. Ryder still see Ryan as more of a mom than anything. Roy is his unlikely friend, and Ryder will never forget the first time Roy smiled at one of his paintings- he cried. Richard is an interesting case, because he seems to have something against him- but why? Ryder doesn’t remember ever doing anything to him… Rowan is… well, he’s not as mean as Robbie. Or maybe he is? Just in a different way. His prodding is harder to ignore than Robbie’s is- though he insists is only to ‘toughen him up’. And Robbie is mean. Ryder tries to avoid him as much as possible- it’s better for everyone that way.

In the future, Ryder puts his life towards creating art and taking care of his daughters while his wife works as a lawyer. He continues to have a very close connection with Ralphie, who often visits with his husband and adopted children. He grieves intensely for Ryan, but appreciates Robbie’s attempts to apologize for his younger behavior. He’d always had hope. Ryder’s confidence finally starts to improve as he gets older, though he remains a little awkward. It doesn’t bother him as much now though- he knows he’s got plenty of people there to catch him if he falls.

[airasilver]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

Thanks @ellorypurebloodculture!

Sorry it took so long.

Also no particular order since I can't pick a favorite out of them either.

Duo Maxwell

I can't remember when I started loving him but I do. He's outgoing and just so truthful and honest and caring. There are more reasons but I adore him.

Tim Drake

I love Tim. He's my favorite Robin, the one I grew up reading (even if I never read how he became Robin in the first place) and the one I know best. He's who I wanted to be like when I was younger (they all were actually).

Bucky Barnes

Baby boy has been through a lot but he's always bounced back. He's a great in proving that you can go through hell and make it to the other side.

Fun fact, he used to look like this:

(from Wikipedia and Google/Pinterest)

He's worse than Steve in the fact that until Marvel redid him he actually went to war as an actual kid. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucky_Barnes)

He's a rebel.

Clint Barton

He's a little shit (to me), a circus brat, gave us Lucky and is hot in his own way. He lives off pizza, which is how he met Lucky (if I'm recalling correctly), owns his apartment building (or did), and helps his community.

Katsuki Bakugo (or is it Bakugou?)

He's all knowing, to him, swears up a storm, you can tell he cares for Izuku even if he doesn't act like it, same with the rest of the class, is smart as heck especially because of his quirk, and is learning to be a better person, slowly.

Draco Malfoy

Arrogant, mama’s boy (even if he says his dad all the time), handsome, obsessed with Harry, I love his smile, and just him in general

Alec Lightwood

Sweet, harsh, baby boy. His smile, his shyness, his overall love for his family, and he just wants to do the correct thing. I love Jace but I picked Alec for this.

Sam Winchester

He’s Dean’s world, John loves him, he’s the baby of the two brothers and uses that to his advantage. Smart, pretty, deadly, nice, and sweet. He’s everything a person would want.

Kurt Hummel

He knows exactly what he was and will work for it. He’s so confident and he’s handsome also. He’s a great person and friend and while he has his ups and downs, as everyone does, he’s not afraid to try things.

JD Dunne

He’s the youngest of the seven, the official sheriff (it’s all of them, he just took the actual job and Chris is in charge), he’s eager to do what’s correct, Buck literally took him under his wing from the get go (which got Chris to start liking him), he adores his friends and family, and he’s handsome as heck.

One extra because people might consider Bucky and Clint part of the same fandom.

Rodney McKay

He’s an asshole and knows it. Is one of the smartest people on Atlantis, there are a lot of them, scared to death of crap but still does it. He's also a bastard but that is him. He cares in his own way and loves his family and friends. He won't give up and just keeps going. He's my favorite person in the whole universe. I love him.

[fuck-customers]

i am afab, cis-presenting, but i wear my hair extremely short. buzzed on the sides, two to three inches long up top. ive worn it this way for ten years at this point.

i had an older man once ask me why i wear it the way i do (not the first person to ask, hardly the last) so i gave him my usual explanation: my hair grows in really thick, i would get headaches wearing it long, i just like the way it looks short, etc.

he informs me that he asked because his daughter started wearing her hair short, and when she approached him about his opinion he wasn’t thrilled. then she showed him her cut, and instead of support, he told her “it’ll grow back!”

he tells this to me, someone who has short hair and just explained why i like my short hair, as though i should agree with him. i still don’t know why he asked me. i do not know what point he tried to make.

this sort of thing rarely gets under my skin, but he did that day. i felt more sorry for his daughter than myself.

tl;dr if you don’t like someone’s hair, just keep it to yourself.

What I have learned is to never directly answer questions like that. They will either use it to make fun of you OR make fun of someone else and blame you.

When anyone asks me a personal question they don't need to know. Like why I choose to have painted nails I just answer "why not?" I've had more than one old white dude (it's always the old white dudes) and one skank of an old hag try to push the issue and I hold firm with the only answer they deserve and just keep saying why not? All of them questioned my manhood before slamming things or throwing something. it's really funny to watch their epic meltdown. And yet ley are the first person to call someone a snowflake.

-Rodney

[halestrom]

🎲

i am workingon the last few of these! OT4 wedding for you!!!

A kiss while laughing

John did his best to hold the cup steady as they guided it towards Rodney who was watching it with a narrow eyed focused usually reserved for the eleventh hour. He could feel Teyla pressed up against his side, and Ronon had his free hand around Rodney’s shoulders, their bound hands finally getting it to Rodney who crouched and tilted his head back, letting them tilt the cup and pour the drink into his mouth.

There was a moment of silence as they seemed to wobble for a second, but Rodney swallowed quickly, the drink disappearing without a drop spilt before they pulled the cup back and cheers erupted around them, hands clapping their shoulders and John tightened his hand, feeling three other sets of fingers tighten as well, not wanting to lose the cup.

“Peace!” a voice boomed.

Halling stepped forward, still rail thin from his time with Michael, hair gone and eyes darker but he was smiling at the four of them, holding a braided piece of rope in his hands.

“The drink has been shared and not a drop has been spilled. Good fortune comes for those who’s hands hold steady together,” Halling said, stepping closer and beginning to wrap the rope around their hands. “And now, support, from each other, from those around you, to keep you together.”

Teyla shifted under John’s arm, turning her head so she could look up at Halling better, eyes bright as he continued talking. John tuned him out, knowing Teyla would explain a lot of what he was saying later, and looked over at Rodney who was looking between the three of them, like he couldn’t quite believe they were there. He wanted to reach out and touch Rodney’s shoulder, get his attention, give him a smile but with one hand tied to a cup with his three partners, and the other one around Teyla’s shoulders he couldn’t.

Ronon saw him looking and leaned down, whispering something to Rodney. Something dirty, if the way his cheeks flushed and his chin lifted. John turned away, feeling a similar warmth and he knew not all of it was from the drink had shared.

Halling finished and stepped back, reaching for the bottle of Ruus wine and pouring some more into the cup. “A toast for this celebration of love and happiness.”

The four of them lifted the cup as cheers rose around them.

“Sure you didn’t want a full Catholic wedding?” John teased Rodney as Halling tried to calm down the party goers.

Rodney’s nose wrinkled. John remembered when they ahd been discussing this, talking about how they wanted to do it, with Ronon and Teyla talking about their own worlds weddings, and Rodney shrugging, uncaring as long as there was food. John had been silent for a moment before he had met Ronon and Teyla’s eyes, winked when Rodney hadn’t been talking, and launched into a retelling of his first wedding, the hour-long ceremony followed by an hour of photos and speeches. Everything perfectly planned and time with a precision most Drill Sgt’s couldn’t achieve. Rodney’s mouth had pulled down into a deep frown until he had finally noticed Teyla and Ronon giggling, and he had shoved John away.

“Still no,” Rodney said. “This is much more fun.”

John grinned. “Yes, it is,” he said, looking back as Halling finally got everyone settled.

“Now, bound together from this moment forward, it is my understanding things change,” Halling said, turning to look at the person next to him.

Aria was a small woman, but she had steel in her spine as she stepped up to Halling and looked at Ronon before she inclined her head, pressing fingers against the side of her neck where her family tattoos sat. It didn’t match Ronon’s, but John had a feeling that was common these days.

“On Sateda we bind ourselves to those who support us, even when things are dire,” she said, stepping forward and lifting a flask, adding more liquid to the cup until each motion threatened to make it spill. “Ronon, son of Sateda, take a seat and allow your life-partners to support you.”

Ronon carefully sat, and John focused, working with Teyla and Rodney to keep the cup steady until Ronon was sitting on the ground.

“And now stand, with their support.”

This was more difficult, and John wished they had let Teyla go first because it would’ve been easy to pick her up. But it was Ronon’s tradition and so he went first.  They got him standing, all of them sucking in a deep breath when the cup wobbled for a second before it steadied out.

“Good, Teyla, daughter of Athos.”

They repeated the process, helping Teyla down and letting her stand back up, the motion easier at least until she stumbled slightly, tripping over Ronon’s foot and the cup wobbled, but the three of them gripped tighter and steadied it until she found her feet.

“Rodney, son of Canada.”

 Rodney was sweating by the time he finally sat down, looking nervous as he stood back up, but his hand was as steady as it ever was. John hadn’t doubted him for a second.

“John, son of America.”

John managed not to wrinkle his nose at that as he crossed his ankles and slowly sat down, trusting the others to keep his hand steady until he felt himself hit the ground. He waited a second, waiting for Teyla to give him a small nod before he pushed himself back up just as steadily, focused on moving as smoothly as he could.

The cup wobbled, but nothing spilled and a cheer went up when they were all standing. Aria held her hands, and the crowd went quiet.

“Share, the drink as you share your life and be united as one,” Aria said, happiness filling her voice.

John’s cheeks hurt from how wide he was grinning, not used to the sensation as he watched Ronon take the first drink, Teyla the second and Rodney the third, their hands moving easily, tilting the cup as if this was something they did every day. John slouched slightly, feeling the press of the cup to his mouth and he tilted his head back, swallowing and feeling the burn from the alcohol before he stood up, holding the cup as high as they could with Teyla there.

Cheers sounded, and music started up and John started to laugh, feeling giddy in a way he hadn’t been in a long time. He felt a hand on his cheek and he turned, kissing Teyla and trying to keep the laughter down, but he could see her happiness, her joy even as Rodney tugged him over, kissing him quickly before he was kissing Ronon, the four of them grinning and laughing with joy and happiness as they pressed forward, combined arms making it hard but they managed.

They would always manage. Together

[parhelios]

part two of the stargate atlantis animorphs au where john sheppard used to be tobias! this will hopefully get turned into a full fic at some point but i like telling ppl about my fic ideas its fun

an important part of this au is that at least once on atlantis people have started reminiscing about favorite foods on earth they miss and when john was asked what he missed the most, he just blinks and says "burgers" and everyone gives him shit about his basic ass answer but little do they know the real answer is fresh mouse

part one here

he never really realized just how much he missed truly flying on his own wings until he did it for the first time in too many years, circling over the spires of atlantis and relishing the feeling of thermals under his spread wings. he can’t help but chuckle as on the way to rodney’s lab later in the day, he spots some of the biologists in their lab losing their minds. he does make a note to be a little less conspicuous though. john makes another note to let chaya know that if she ever needs anything, he’s her man, for the rest of time. he’s never been more grateful for anything.

(meanwhile, rodney and less so elizabeth, have been tinhatting about john since kolya's invasion of atlantis. john was weird enough they decided they needed to investigate him more and found that large swaths of his childhood and teen years are redacted to hell and back. they can't even figure out when he was born, exactly. it's WEIRD, and the fact that not even weir has clearance makes it all the more disturbing. rodney tries his best to find an unredacted version--surely it must be somewhere in the files sent on the atlantis expedition, in case of emergency--but not even that works. the thing is, by this point, john is their friend, and though they are definitely concerned and more than a little weirded out, they trust him. they trust that if it becomes necessary, he'll trust them too.)

missions go for the most part as normal, but whenever john can get the free time, he spends it flying. eventually, ar-1 gets sent out on a recon mission to a new gate location, a supposedly uninhabited planet which they believe might serve as a potential alpha site for atlantis in case of wraith incursion

as they begin their expedition, the group moves through the brush, ears and eyes sharp for any darts or wraith patrols. they walk for some time, having chosen to head in the direction of what looks to be a plume of smoke in the sky--perhaps a sign of civilization? certainly an anomaly worth checking out. when they reach the source of it, all four come to the same conclusion. a ship has crashed here. small fires still burn in the trees and brush at the edge of the clearing from its crash landing, but for the most part it looks only superficially damaged. however, not one of them save john recognize the design, and john keeps his mouth shut.

it is an andalite blade ship, and john wonders wildly about what it could be doing so far from home as he leads rodney, teyla, and ronon towards the entrance. he's able to keep his reaction to himself pretty easily, years of having to think about his face and his words coming in very handy for deception. rodney and the rest recognize it as being like nothing they've ever seen before--an egg-like pod with a tail curving above it, ending in a sharp point facing the front of the ship, two small, stubby wings curving off of the side. rodney starts to lose it with excitement at another spacefaring race which they have not encountered before, and john has to keep his mouth shut. after the war with the yeerks, the andalites and the humans had come up with a plan to deal with the yeerks, which none of the animorphs had been privvy to, except that once they were dealt with, the andalites would return to their part of the galaxy under seerow's kindness (their prime directive) and not contact the humans again. they took ax, the one andalite who had joined the animorphs and fought alongside them for the whole war, and they took the morphing cube, and they'd said that earth could keep the animorphs and any remaining technology left behind by the andalites or yeerks on earth. what they were doing here, he had no answers for, and he knew that rodney would be inevitably disappointed when he learned that they were all major assholes who wanted nothing to do with earth and had avoided aiding them until the eleventh hour.

when they get inside, john notes no signs of the pilot, and tunes out rodney's excitement at the pilot's chair clearly designed for a quadraped, and heads straight for the console, to try and find out all he can while the team is distracted examining the ship itself. his knowledge of andalite is ingrained, still sitting in the back of his mind from when elfangor gave him his knowledge. from what he can tell, this was an experimental blade ship designed for long-range travel through z-space, featuring a prototype andalite hyperdrive, which apparently worked a little too well. after poking around some, the team determines they should get as much data as they can for themselves from the ship and head back to the gate to pass the info on to weir and return with a bigger science team to study the ship itself. john makes a private note to hold a briefing. this requires a bit of an update in clearance for everyone involved.

of course, the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley, and as they leave the ship they are promptly ambushed and captured by a wraith patrol.

while the rest are thrown in a cell, john is taken to the wraith queen, who interrogates him on the crashed ship and though he protests ignorance, she decides to drain him until he breaks. she seems to believe it is some new trick by the atlanteans, but john catches something she likely did not mean to slip to him. she references a prisoner, and from what little she reveals, it sounds like the andalite pilot. john refuses to give up any information to her, and so the queen decides, drained as he is, that he is best used as an example for the rest of his friends, to... encourage them to cooperate. she drains him practically to the point of death, and has him dragged back to the cell, throwing him to the dirty floor at the feet of his friends.

he can feel himself dying, as he lays in the cell, every bone screaming as his team surrounds him, and he feels tears dripping onto his face, which he knows without looking is withered and aged from the feeding. and john knows in that moment that there is one way that this will go, unless he changes. he mumbles out an apology, tells them not to worry about him, and not to freak out. and then he begins the change.

for those unaware, morphing is a process which tends to be extremely unpleasant to watch, unless the morpher is an estreen who can control the process of the morph. john is very much not an estreen, despite his deep familiarity with being a hawk, and he knows exactly what this looks like as the shift megins and he takes in the horror on the faces of rodney, teyla, and ronon. he’d seen people shift birds, and the first time he'd done it, he'd watched himself in a mirror, out of pure curiosity.

the eyes went first, turning big and yellow. you could hear the crunch and grind of bones as they shrunk and molded into each other, the mass folding into z-space and condensing as his fingers merged and feet split, limbs and body shrinking into itself. feathers began to burst from the skin, starting as strange mottled patterns on the skin before lifting themselves up. the corners of his mouth stretched up as the bones of his face shifted and the skin receded over his elongating beak, leaving yellow keratin behind.

the morph felt the same as always, but alongside the grinding of bones and the odd crushing feeling that always came with a smaller morph, john could feel the strength returning to his body the closer he got to hawk-shape. as the morph finishes, he reaches out with thought-speak to the others, trying to get them to stop freaking out as he wriggles free of his shirt and vest, ruffling his wings.

rodney immediately goes "I FUCKING KNEW IT-okay not the bird thing i did not see that one coming but SOMETHING was going on--" but john's thought-speak very quickly shuts him up, and he takes the initiative of rodney's dropped jaw to come up with a quick plan and hop out of the cell through one of the holes in the wraith netting. the wraith probably think he’s dead already, and john is happy to keep it that way—he’s got an escape to make.