#and reminds them that they're trying too and i am so. so. proud of them.

[devildevotee]

if you have no energy to do anything else today, at least smile at yourself in the mirror and say "i'm proud of you."

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[dearhargrove]

Reassurance

summary You comfort Evan after he has to deal with his parents over the course of four days.

word count 730

tags fluff, just someone being there for my bb buck, short and sweet

a/n So basically I was watching the Buck Begins episode and died every minute where his parents neglected him and generally every second of that episode :( so expect some more Buck fics to come (Eddie too tho !!)

masterlist

You didn't know but you were probably the sole reason Buck wasn't completely breaking down every day he wakes up and has to deal with the two people that call themselves his parents.

After the first dinner he had felt bad, but he'd felt like he usually does with them. Alone, unwanted and never enough. That day he'd come home to you, quiet and dull.

You hadn't made him talk about it when he didn't start explaining himself, instead you simply wrapped your arms around him and held him close. That's when he'd felt loved. That night he waited until you had fallen asleep before letting himself cry.

What did he expect? For some reason he had hoped they'd changed. Or at least that they would be proud of him. After all, he'd saved a lot of people and does so every day. Instead he is reminded that they hadn't bothered to check on him when he almost died twice - first by being crushed and second because of the blood clots - and then laid in the hospital.

Those were the people supposed to love him no matter what and all he got was constant criticism.

That night you had woken up not long after him because of his missing warmth. With a worried expression you'd found him and once again, held him close. He had melted into your arms, tears starting to fall again as he clutched you close as if scared to lose you.

After reassurance you would gladly give any day you had gone back to bed, your hand on his cheek and caressing his birthmark.

Today you hadn't even known Buck would see them or be confronted by their doings. The last time you'd heard about them was when he explained that he had a brother. That he was only conceived to be a match for a bone marrow transplant.

That night had been harder than the one before. You're quite sure no matter how much you tried to show him that he wasn't just a failed way to save someone you don't think it got completely through to him. And you didn't blame him; you couldn't imagine living with something like that weighing you down.

You're in his kitchen trying one of Bobby's recipes when the door opens and Buck comes in. You could read him like a book; there wasn't a moment you weren't able to tell what he was feeling. But now? You genuinely didn't know.

He was frowning but there's a smile resting on his face and his eyes are red.

“Buck?”

He looks up, seeing you there in his sweater with a knife in your hand as you chop vegetables for a recipe from Bobby he loved, and he breaks. But instead of simply crying he chuckles, too.

“Buck, what's going on?” Your voice is worried and he just shakes his head as he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his forehead to yours. You put the knife down and reach up to cup his face and your index finger soothes over his birthmark, something you'd made a habit over the year of being with him.

“I think they're finally accepting me for.. me.” He only says and you sigh but nod. He notices your slight apprehension and quickly adds on, “But I don't want them to. I don't need their acceptance. They don't decide how much I'm worth.”

Your mouth forms an ‘o’ in surprise but you laugh breathlessly and nod, “Exactly. You're saving lives on the daily, you don't need anyone to tell you how good you are. Not your parents, not your friends, not me.”

He nods along until the last part where he cocks his head and looks at you with his signature half smirk. “I do need you to tell me how good I am, actually.” That makes you smile as well and you sigh, “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

He just shrugs and unlike when he first came in you can see pure happiness and love on his face.

“God, I love you so much, Evan Buckley.”

He grins and surges forward to kiss you passionately, his hands gripping your hips as if you'd slip through his fingers any moment.

[tumb1rprincess]

Okay, I just binged the rest of the Hazbin Hotel episodes.

Carmilla and Zestial are hot. And Carmilla is so interesting. I loved her and Vaggie's song. I actually didn't expect them to reveal who killed the angel so quickly. But I love how they're showing that even some of the top overlords in Hell care. The only question now is what Alastor is going to do with this information.

I love Vox. He has a great voice and his rivalry with Alastor is hilarious.

Sir Pentious is such a fucking loser and I adore him.

Nifty almost reminds me of Little My from the Moomins with her little gremlin energy. I don't know if we'll get any serious moments with her like we have with the other characters, but I guess we'll see.

I love how Alastor's room is a literal bayou/swamp. And him eating the whole fucking deer was hilarious.

I didn't expect for some of the others to find out about Angel and Val's toxic relationship so quickly, but I did like how it showed an uncommon angle: how trying to save someone from an abusive relationship can make things worse for the victim. I can't think of any other media off the top of my head that shows that kind of thing. But with Charlie and Husker knowing about this (and Cherri Bomb if we're counting Addict as canon), how long before everyone else finds out? And what are their reactions going to be?

I haven't been the biggest Angel/Husker shipper, but holy hell, am I on board now. Husker once being an overlord and pretty much implying that he sold his soul to Alastor much like how Angel did with Val was a development I didn't expect, as well as drawing parallels between his addiction to gambling and Angel's addiction to drugs. Hell, I really didn't except this angle they took with Husker. We only saw his bitter attitude in the pilot, and we still get plenty of that here, but I didn't expect him to also be a good people reader and being able to see how the other characters really are and what they're hiding. He's almost empathetic in a way.

All of the songs are fucking bangers, Poison especially. I listened to it once before the show and I liked it okay, but seeing it in context, it hits you ten times harder. I almost cried.

The show is so good at making the viewer feel so uncomfortable with how Val treats Angel, it's almost too hard to watch. I've seen shows tackle abuse before and they've done it well, but this was very raw and in your face and it makes your insides twist. And I love it.

Looking at the show's cast, Vivzi got so many people with Broadway experience and I love that. I feel like a lot of popular media nowadays just like to cast popular actors regardless of whether they can actually sing or not (I'm looking at you live action Disney remakes). But every actor who's sung so far is fucking good at it and it shows.

So far, I am in love, love, love with this show. I remember first watching the pilot when it was causing some controversy and I fell in love with it immediately. It almost became a comfort thing for me for a while. I was watching it over and over during 2020 when Covid was running rampant and everything was shit. I'm so proud of Vivzie and everyone else for their hard work and dedication and love. This show is so different from everything else out there. I hope now that it's out, even more people can fall in love with it.

[defilerwyrm]

I'm coming to love my graft.

It looks freaky. That's okay, I'm a freak.

It looks scary. That's okay, I'm scary (so I’m told).

It looks like it hurt. It did, and it was great.

It represents a long hard road out of hell. It's a sign of my dedication to authenticity. I'm proud of it.

Transphobes do their best to scare trans men away from life-saving medical care like phalloplasty with gruesome photos of fresh surgical sites. They want you to believe that it'll always look like that. But your flesh will heal, and so will your soul.

Here's the truth about transphobes: if gender affirmation surgeries were pristine, blood-free, scar-free, magical transformations, they would STILL try to scare you out of getting them.

Getting pins in a broken leg is gruesome, too. But isn't it worth it once the leg heals?

I love my scars. They're stories told in skin. Here's where I broke up a dog fight. This one's from a gun. Here's one from an Offspring concert. Here are the ones I got in exchange for a life without dysphoria. My scars celebrate my life and remind me of lessons I've learned.

So, too, with my graft. Every day I can look at it and remember that I made it. That I am made whole. That I am free.

I don't hide it when I go out in public. I am not ashamed. Let everyone who sees me know that I am a self-made man.

[luveline]

For the Eddie/Roan/reader series have you written the first time Eddie and reader say I love you to each other? And if not could we get a little blurb for it? Like maybe Roan says it to reader first and Eddie is all like damn, I think I love her too and is just all heart eyes 😍🥰 please and thank you! This series it literally my fav 💕

thank you for your request beautiful ♡ eddie and roan—the munsons tell you they love you for the first time. fem!reader

Eddie's wearing the brand new pair of jeans you got him and feeling like a kid at Christmas. Seriously, this has to be the fucking life. Beautiful daughter, great Uncle, a home he's proud of and a job he doesn't mind, and now he has you, and you like him enough to bring him presents. What the fuck. 

They were on sale, you'd said easily, dropping them in his lap with a kiss hello on the cheek. He'd been reading on the porch, didn't hear you coming until you were already there. Where's Roan? I got her a nightie, is that okay? 

Said nightie flares pink around Roan's knees as you twirl her. She's standing on the green play table, every rapid footstep wobbling the hollow plastic. In each flash of her face before she turns away, Eddie sees himself —same sugary brown eyes, same smile. You're laughing, the nervous, overjoyed kind, 'cos you both know you shouldn't be doing it but you're not the one who has to say no to her. (Not that Eddie does it as often as he maybe should.) 

The jeans you got him are surprisingly soft. They're straight cut and need a little adjusting, but beside that they're perfect. Eddie really, really likes being thought of, trying to squeeze a thank you in between girly giggles. 

"This is super dangerous!" you warn Roan, drawing circles over her head with your joined hands.

"This is super fun!" Roan corrects, squealing as you speed up.

One too many spins has her losing her footing, but you'd been expecting it, and you catch her without any fuss. "Woah!" she yelps.

"Woah, I got you," you say, pep unfailing. You're getting better at carrying her, pulling her up your side to rest on your hip.

Roan giggles but otherwise goes quiet, not talking, only laughing as she looks up into your welcoming face. You cushion her legs on your arm so she doesn't fall, your smile turning puzzled. "You okay?" you ask, giving her a bounce like she's much younger than she is, a baby in need of comfort. 

"I love you," Roan declares, planting a kiss on your cheek. 

"I love you, too," you say without hesitation. Your gaze flickers to Eddie's, but it's not long enough for him to gauge any one emotion. 

Roan hums like this has answered a question and puts her arms down on your chest, not quite hugging you, not not hugging you. Your fingers spread over the small breadth of her back. You steal a moment, pressing the fat of your cheek to the top of her head. "Princess," you murmur, "that's so nice. Thank you for telling me. I knew you loved me because you're always showing it, aren't you?" 

"I am?" Roan asks. 

"I think so." Your smile turns bright, the parentese tone you've been learning like sugar on your lips as you say, "Ooh, I love you so much, beautiful girl! Let's have some cookies to celebrate." Your smile lands on Eddie. "Can we?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, of course you can."

You put Roan down. Eddie's lovely daughter immediately takes your hand and together you walk to the kitchen, little steps. Eddie stands there thinking to himself for a few seconds, new jeans and your big heart, a thousand things.

"Hey!" he calls, rushing into the kitchen after you. "Wait a second, Y/N."

You stare at him with wide eyes, hand stopped where it's extended to the kitty cat cookie jar. "Don't tell me there's, like, a fake spider waiting to jump out at me. I can't take it again, Eds, my heart will explode like that freaky movie." 

"I love you," he says. Smiling big, not particularly afraid to say it. He's known for a while, but Roan saying it so easily reminded him. He should let you know. 

You don't react with any subtlety. Roan's confession was easy, water off of a duck's back, you said it back fast. Now, you're still. Your funny smile is in a pouting frown, your eyes soft with emotion. "Yeah?" you say. 

"Yeah. I love you." 

"Well I love you too," you say. 

Eddie nods nonchalantly, a show, saying, "Yeah, I know," before he drops the facade and crosses the kitchen for you. Roan giggles as he picks you up in a hug, wrenching you from side to side. "You should know already–" 

"I do!" you say, wrapping your arms around his neck jubilantly. 

"Then why are you asking?"

"I wanted to hear it again," you say.

Eddie smiles into the skin beneath your ear. "I love you. Duh." 

"Duh," you say, sounding about as happy as he's ever heard you while he pulls his head back to grin at you. 

Roan laughs and pats at Eddie's thigh to be picked up. He grabs her under her arm with some effort and you help to bring her up into the hug. "I love you, too, daddy."

"You should definitely know I love you," Eddie says to her. He tells her enough, three times a day or more. He tells her he loves her when they're brushing her teeth, when they're putting their shoes on, when they're driving home from school. He tells her between mouthfuls of spaghetti and through laughter, Love you, weirdo. "Is this, like, lame if I start telling you both all the time, or am I allowed?" 

"Definitely allowed," you say quickly, eyes bright with enthusiasm. 

"For sure!" Roan cheers. 

Eddie can see the possibilities now, I love you shouted from car windows and down the phone, said into your neck and the palm of your hand. He doesn't know why he didn't say it sooner. 

[midnight-mourning]

Day & Night. (Sun & Moon Drabble)

Requested By: @luckyyyduckyyy

Word Count: 500

Summary: Being stuck together 24/7/365 had been bad enough, working together is somehow worse. In certain aspects, anyway.

Note: Not canon to CS but utilizes the same personalities! Bri's here too lol Also third person POV bc I don't want y'all to get too into the boys' heads just yet :)

______________________________________________________

"Sun."

No outward reaction from the bot as he continues to orchestrate his craft session.

"Sun."

The slightest twitch of acknowledgement, and perhaps definitely annoyance.

The naptime attendant doesn't bother attempting a third time, instead opting for a more direct, though dramatic, approach. 

When he disappears from his yellow counterpart's view, it's under the assumption that he won't be returning. And frankly, he couldn't be happier-

His sensors alert him of a rapidly descending presence from above before his optics do. Though he's unable to stop from flinching when Moon appears eye to eye with him, hanging upside down from the wire he's so proud to show his mastering of. 

The night-themed bot's words are as blunt as his stare, "It's naptime."

Sun, despite his urges to do otherwise, remains polite. Or at least, his tone does, "Naptime begins at exactly 2:00:00 PM. I still have 5 minutes, 32 seconds, and 6 milliseconds."

"Light's off at 1:55:00 PM," Moon tilts his head, "You know that."

"I do."

Moon's eyes narrow, "Then why did you start another activity at 1:53:45 PM? Knowing that the children need time to wind down and prepare."

"Oh, did I?" Sun raises a hand to his faceplate, "Goodness me, it seems that without you constantly reminding me I've lost my ability to effectively keep track of time! What a shame."

The naptime attendant doesn't move an inch, "They're going to become tired quickly if you don't allow them to rest. Is that really something you wish to deal with?"

It's now that Sun begins to falter, gaze also implying irritation, "A few extra minutes of playtime will hardly do them any harm. Now too long of a nap on the other hand-"

"So you admit you're purposely trying to take extra time-"

"-Certainly not purposefully but if that's the outcome so be it-"

Both animatronics voices grow quieter but more forced.

"The children need their nap, Sun."

"They also need time to play, Moon."

"Hey, am I supposed to be turning out the lights or what?"

Both bots turn to where the security guard sits at her desk, hand hovering over the light switch with a brow raised. 

Moon snickers quietly, too quietly for Bri to hear.

Sun responds for both of them, "Just give us a moment, Officer Perry!" Then lowering his voice to mutter a threat of "Shut it." to the other attendant. 

Before his opposite can say what he wants to, Moon rises back to the ceiling again, thus ruining any chance of satisfaction for the day-themed bot. Which was of course the intention of such an action.

Instead, he's forced to receive a message which would have been spoken in the cheekiest, most frustrating, most grating, of voices.

'You have three minutes before I instruct Officer Perry to turn out the lights.

You have two and a half minutes before I decide to just do it myself.'

What pleasant company these two make. One would truly envy who ends up with them.

______________________________________________________

Ngl this was a fun challenge for me! I know how they interact when together and how that dynamic works but have never considered separate before. Next request should be up on Thursday :) Thanks for reading!!

[kseung]

Wednesday x Reader

Father's Feathers

Requested.

Warnings: child abuse, threatening, scissors, blood.

Words: 1030~

Thanks to the original creator of this Avian Reader character: @toournextadventure

Some scars never leave... usually those burnt into our brains. That was exactly your case. All thanks to you amazing father.

And he made it his mission to remind you. "All those feathers are mine, you little monster! I can pluck them out whenever I want to!" That was his go-to phrase.

It made sense why you were so uncomfortable with your wings now. Having them was hard. Being reminded daily of the hurt you went through was hard. Having people want to touch your wings was harder. But, sometimes, nothing would compare to when Wednesday threatened to pluck out your feathers. Even as a joke, it made you uneasy.

She made one of those comments one day. One particularly hard day for you. You had had a nightmare that night in which your father punished you for "misbehaving". How? Ripping your feathers, of course. Occasionally, he'd clip some feathers with a pair of scissors. And what did you do? You were playing, as a normal 6-year-old does. You tripped, got a scraped knee, and cried. You didn't sob, as it wasn't that bad. But that still made your father annoyed.

The typewriter sounds continued, La Llorona playing as background music. You were sitting on Wednesday's bed, trying your best to rest without sleeping. You hadn't slept at all since around 04:00, courtesy of the bad dreams Wednesday wasn't starring.

—You're being odd.

That comment was so sudden you almost didn't catch it. You thought she was talking to herself rather than to you. You sent her a glance, too tired to function correctly.

—I'm just tired.

She looked at you, intensely. You were tired. That was evident, judging by the dark circles under your eyes. But it wasn't only that. There was more you weren't telling her.

She lowered the volume of the music after putting away her typewriter in the big drawer. You looked around as she did so, trying to prepare yourself for the interrogation you knew was coming. She sat in front of you, cross-legged on the bed. She looked at you, holding direct eye contact as she always does.

—What is upsetting you?

You pursed your lips. You didn't want to talk about this, but you knew it'd be better to finally let go of a bit of the weight you were carrying. So you went along with it, nodding.

—My wings.

Your lip trembled when you spoke, as did your voice. Wednesday was taken aback. To her, having such wings would be her pride for life.

—I don't understand. Your wings are impressive, grandiose even. I'd be proud to have such magnificent wings.

—I know you don't get it. They're just... a burden.

—Why would you think that? Did someone say something bad about them? Who? Is that why you don't let people near them?

Having you not be happy with yourself sure made her get annoyed, anxious even. Haywire chaos happened inside her brain every time she saw you unwell. Sometimes she showed that she cared for you so obviously, yet she acted disinterested when asked.

You knew it was coming to that, so you got yourself ready. —Wednesday, I am scared. Let me try something...— You had an idea. If Wednesday had visions, maybe she'd see what you went through without you having to talk about it. She looked at you, confused, but she nodded. So you took her hand in yours and watched as her head shot backward.

She saw it. Moments of your childhood. Terrible memories. Bad terrible. She never knew you had to go through things that horrible. Now she understood why you were so wary of everyone regarding your wings. What hurt the most may have been how you were crying while being tortured by your father, and you weren't enjoying it. It made her angry, too.

When she came back to her senses, she looked at you crying silently in front of her. Her first instinct was to hug you, arms around your neck. You knew it was safe, because it was Wednesday, but you still tensed, stiff as her at the beginning of your relationship.

—I'm here for you. I'll always be, even in death. You hear me?

You nodded, now sobbing. Even if you wanted to, they just didn't stop flowing. She held you close, trying to make you listen to her heartbeat. It had always calmed you, and she hoped that time wasn't different.

She then started playing with your hair, combing it to perfection with her fingers. Little by little, her hand lowered. It had been a while when you noticed she was gently caressing your wings. She traced the pattern of you feathers carefully, silently reassuring you. It made you cry more.

—You make me feel so loved—, you sobbed onto her. By then, her clothes were stained by the tears you wept. She let you do that. It made you feel even more cared for.

She was silent, mainly in disbelief. You had indirectly called her comforting. She liked it, but only because it was you.

—Shh. Let's lie down.

Her tone was as less awkward as possible, which you appreciated. She laid down on her back, making you be on top of her. Being taller than her, and also with the wings, it seemed as though you were covering her. Her arms still rested on the back of your neck, holding you safely in your place.

You rested in silence, the thought of being there with Wednesday sinking in. It made you emotional again. You were really going through it. She noticed and hugged you tighter. It made you more thankful to have her.

—I love you so much.

Wednesday was sure that time would help you heal your wounds, she hoped so. She nodded. It always made her feel.

—I know. I love you.

You smiled.

—Be proud of your wings. I am proud of you. Your feathers, not his. Yours.

It was odd hearing Wednesday so sappy, but it was something you could get more used to. You just hummed a "yes". You were sure you'd sleep well that night.

—Thank you, Wednesday.

—You're welcome...love.

[crashlanding-skywalker]

[The 212th and the 501st relaxing after a mission]

Rex, rubbing his temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

Fives: But Rex, we don't smoke.

Cody: Cut the crap, Fives. We're not idiots. We know that at least one in five people smoke.

Rex, pointing at Dogma: one *then at Trapper* two *then at Wooley* three *then at Longshot* four *then at Fives* five.

Cody: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers.

Trapper, puts a cigarrette in Cody's hand: here, sir

Cody: Thank you.

Fives:

Wooley:

Dogma:

Trapper:

Longshot:

Cody: Light?

(all of them simultaneously pulling out lighters)

——————

Crys: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do?

Fives: Oh… We’d mildly trouble everyone.

Crys: Alright, so what would you do?

Fives: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw.

Echo: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working.

Fives: I’d make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one.

Echo: I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together.

Echo & Fives: And then lastly, We’d snip a little hole in every tea bag.

Crys:

Echo & Fives:

Crys: Remind me to never allow you to have power.

——————

Kix: How does one turn their emotions off?

Longshot: Okay, so first go to settings.

Hawk: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.

Kix: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

——————

Echo: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Waxer: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Echo?

Echo: Probably “road work ahead”.

Switch, about to bang his head into a wall: I speak many languages...

Switch: this one is definitely not one of them.

——————

Gearshift: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Hawk: The cow???

Jesse: What?

Oddball: Hawk, W H Y?

——————

Appo: So, what's it like living with Gregor?

Trapper: He once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

——————

Hardcase: I made tea.

Longshot: I don't want tea.

Hardcase: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Longshot: Then why did you tell me?

Hardcase: It's a conversation starter.

Longshot: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Hardcase: Oh, is it?

Hardcase: We're conversing, checkmate.

——————

Echo: Rules were made to be broken.

Gearshift: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Striker: Uh, piñatas.

Trapper: Glow sticks.

Vaughn: Karate boards.

Wooley: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Waxer: Rules.

——————

Echo: What is your favourite mythical story?

Boil: The Story Of My Will To Live.

Echo: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

——————

Axe: I'm not sure what you mean

Axe: I am socializing.

Gregor: Standing there ominously doesn't count as socializing

Axe:

Axe: Since when?

——————

Crys: I was arrested for being too cool.

Vaughn: And the charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

——————

Hil: I’m going to get so much done today.

Jester: I’ll hold you to that.

*8 hours later*

Jester: So how much did you get done?

Hil: One thing.

Jester: Well, that’s one more than usual.

——————

Switch: Who ate all my cookies?

Tup: Bounty hunters

Switch, confused: I didn’t see them

Tup: No one ever does :)

——————

Fives: The how the fuck’s and why are you so dumb's don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

——————

Tup: Why is it called "oven" when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

Crys: What???

——————

Boil: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Fives: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Boil: Oh, I'm sorry. should I ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Fives: That's somehow worse.

——————

Cody: When Fives & Echo were born, the gods said, "They're too good for this world."

Jesse: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

——————

Gearshift: You know, I used to play back in my gory days.

Appo: You mean glory days?

Gearshift: Ah, that too.

——————

Fives: I’m an idiot.

Boil:

Jesse:

Waxer:

Echo:

Trapper:

Fives:

Echo: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

——————

Kix, looking at both batallions: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

——————

Boomer: It’s funny how well you and Longshot get along. Didn’t he hate you at first?

Hardcase, nodding: Longshot hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people.

——————

Waxer: Are you reading fan fiction?

Denal, reading an article about a extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.

Boil: Oh, is it on AO3?

Denal, ready to punch one of them: This is BBC.

——————

Oddball: Hey, thanks for checking in, I’m ✨still a piece of garbage✨

——————

Sterling: You could be nicer.

Spark: I am.

Sterling: You threatened Wooley with a cooking knife.

Spark: But I didn't actually stab him!

——————

Redeye, about Gus: Is he a freak (derogatory)?

Redeye: Or a freak (affectionate)?

Slick: Why not both?

Redeye: You’re so right, a freak (double-edged sword)!

——————

Hawk: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Barlex: What's wrong with you??

Hawk: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Wyler: No, he means other than that.

Hawk: Ohhhhhh.

Hawk: I haven't slept in 4 days.

——————

Jesse: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large ships.

——————

Fives: Why do humans have different blood groups?

Longshot: So mosquitoes can enjoy different flavors.

Dogma: Really guys? Now?

Dogma: I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!!

——————

Fives: Can we go out to get icecream?

Cody: Did you ask Rex?

Echo: He said no.

Cody: Then why are you asking me?

Echo & Fives: He aint the boss of you.

Cody, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

[myalvmss]

⎯⎯ CHAPTER 1, STARRY EYES ❞

DESC. “make a choice that you know you won't regret,” had always been what you've heard from your mother. but what if you don't know what's ahead of you? or what to not regret? these, are the times where it gets challenging for you.

PAIRINGS. aquamarine hoshino x fem!reader

WARNINGS. click this before reading!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. y'all have no idea on how much I procrastinated on this 💀 LMFAO. enjoy! this is so short omg 💔 BUT LIKE HELP I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORD THE ENDING??

LYRICS. i've got my eye on you. (x2) + you'll find another life to live, I know you'll get over it.

PREV. ｟ MASTERLIST. ｠ NEXT.

Y/N had been extremely bored about all of these talking her mother had been doing, babbling about how things will go in the future as she worries for her daughter, y/n. “mother, you've been quite hectic lately..” y/n mumbled, loud enough for her mother to hear however. “How am I not, sweetheart?” y/n's mother only sighed in a slight tint of frustration, “you've always been a prodigy.. perhaps I'll let you choose a career on your own.” y/n's mother gave her a soft smile, an apologetic one if she was pressuring you. “well..” y/n spoke to her mother, and she nodded.. “i wanna try being an actress, and an idol. I mean, I have experience on being an actress. and being an idol is hard, but I'll work through it.” your mother only showed her approval for y/n's decision, and it was a high chance her father did too. just, as long as y/n's grades are passing enough. that's okay. but the thing is, y/n didn't know what choice to choose. what is it a wise one? no? probably. but.. it was too late.

⎯⎯

and that was only taken back months ago while y/n was only a middle schooler, right now y/n is a popular idol and also an actress, acting in many series and movies, all of them seemed to be successful enough. y/n's parents weren't exactly strict about grades, in a way. they weren't harsh at all, like. for example, if they were to be something wrong, they'd sit down and talk to y/n about it, with an open mind. and also an understanding nature for their only daughter. they always hold support for y/n, and honestly with whatever decision she makes, they're proud. but of course, for some terms, they are protective as they were still y/n's parents. y/n was only enrolling in Yotou Highschool, it was perfect. even her best friends from middle was attending! in the entertainment course, luckily the four of them got in.

y/n walked into the classroom, seeing many students there.. all looking pretty, handsome and all. there were pretty girls, handsome boys, yeah whatever.. but y/n wasn't interested. especially not by only appearance, y/n prefers personality. you know? y/n walked pass the students talking to each other, as she found her idol-mates. “Ah, y/n!” ann exclaimed, waving towards y/n with a big smile. y/n returned one back to ann, as she walked towards the group of girls. y/n sighed, “this school seems to be very..” y/n started trailing off a little, as she looked down to her shoes. “intimadating?” herta guessed, as fuyuko and y/n nodded in agreement. however ann reassured, that everything will be fine!

it wasn't too long before people started recognizing who y/n and the girls were. the four was already successful either way. there wasn't much of a surprise — kind of. herta only wished for those to not recognize her, as she was basically trying to hide at all costs from people. which she failed miserably. ann only laughed at herta's little sulking while fuyuko and y/n couldn't help but hold in their laughs, as they hold pity towards herta's failure.

⎯⎯

the teacher seemed to be extremely late, from what you thought. but fuyuko was desperate for the teacher to be absent! “fuyuko, it's only the first day.” y/n reminded her, but fuyuko paid absolutely no point in that reminder. “a first day is like any day.” fuyuko argued, as y/n deadpanned. while for ann and herta, the two were wondering about their idol activities. a slight whine from ann coming, as they were whining about how they're gonna end up tired just by doing a long rehearsal of dancing, “you can't do much about it.” herta said, getting a tablet out from her bag as she scrolls through the groupchat named "Starlight ; Lvamia Productions". checking through their schedule for the day, y/n and fuyuko entered the conversation after. “if we have rehearsal, we can simply leave school for it.” herta said, turning the tablet opposite to the three girls in front of her, showing the schedule they had. “after all, we're in the entertainment course. we're allowed to have a sloppy attendance, as I'm pretty sure that our parents won't be too happy if we had terrible grades, yes?”

the girls nodded. the four couldn't help but think about your parents if they were to find out about the performances you had academically. “do we have rehearsal though?” asked fuyuko. herta turned the tablet around, looking through the schedule. she nodded as a response, soon enough there will be rehearsal in a few hours, herta told the other three girls. “we have a dance rehearsal, then soon enough we'll go over our notes.. as we have a chance to perform on stage in a few months or so?” herta specified. the girls eyes lit up as they were excited to go on stage again like last time they did, it was successful enough and they even made to have attention in the media. y/n smiled, “right then. starlight?” y/n placed the back of her palm in the air, as fuyuko and ann looked at each other and smiled. placing their hands above yours, while herta was the only one left. she hesitated, before showing the most smallest genuine smile she ever did in her whole life, as she joined too.

⠀⠀⠀“stargazers!”

the girls exclaimed, raising their arm up in the air after. they all looked at each other, lowering their arms down. sharing laughter and joy together. a choice made in y/n's path once again, is this finally a choice that y/n did not regret? finding happiness in this life other than the last life she had lived through? now that y/n thinks about it, maybe this is what mother meant by making a choice you won't regret. will she make more choices in the future? ones she'll know she won't regret? there's no such guarantee, but having this kind of friendgroup made her forget the miserable life she once lived. although the thought of dying and ending up in a place like hell was something you thought of before, you didn't expect to live another life. reincarnation. but knowing that you did get this rare chance, it feels like you got to relive a new life and experience things that you never got to experience. sure, you sometimes get deja vu or flashbacks of your old life, but you didn't pay too much mind on it. she's happy now, I think. still, there's more hardships coming in her way soon enough. but she knows, she'll get over it. she always does.

suddenly, the teacher came in the class. finally! wait, no. fuyuko felt down with the fact the teacher came; but like y/n said, it's the first day. no way the teacher would be absent on the first day, right? the girls quickly sat down on their seats, as y/n gave fuyuko a smug look that explained that y/n herself was right. fuyuko huffed in frustration, as the teacher went on with the class. it wasn't too bad for the girls, it's just that fuyuko only wished to get out of the class as soon as possible. meaning by that, her constantly eyeing the clock. ann wanted to laugh, but they held back SO HARD. herta was slightly sighing to herself, absolutely tired of the shenanigans the girls always did. while y/n was holding back from wanting to throw her pen to fuyuko in order to signal her to pay attention. though, to fuyuko's relief, after a few hours, the following classes ended and it was pretty much a free period. “girls, its time to go and attend rehearsal.” herta said, as the girls nodded. being already outside of the school.

as the girls started running out, almost like having a race due to ann and fuyuko's competitiveness, y/n only joined for fun. while herta only joined in the so-called race to catch up with ann and fuyuko, and stop them in case they trip and fall down to the ground or something. way worse possibility to that situation, get hurt. what a mom. but as the four girls ran, y/n passed a group of four other people. while running, she slowed down a bit to see the four people's faces. specifically, meeting eyes with a boy with blue starry eyes, same like y/n's. however, due to y/n running, she ran pass the boy and basically stopped. slightly looking back at the corner of her eye.

⎯⎯

a girl, who had ran passed aqua but in that split second, something that felt more than just a split second actually.. he met eyes with her, yet aqua didn't know who that girl was. should he pay that much mind to it? no. it was probably just some random girl that attended to the same school as him, obviously. he stood there, stiff like some laughable doll. “y/n! hurry up!” fuyuko yelled, y/n. that's the girls name? he looked from afar, seeing the girl he met eyes with get a little sidetracked by looking at frill, minami, ruby and him at the corner of her eye. “her name is y/n, huh? hm..” aqua thought, however pushing that inconvenient thought away. “aquamarine?” frill mentioned aqua's name, due to how he seemed to not pay attention to the conversation. aqua looked to frill, “you're from the live action, sweet today, right?” frill asked. y/n looked at the direction where her idol-mates were, as she exclaimed, “I'm coming!” y/n ran off, heading to rehearsal with her idol-mates. but y/n couldn't help but think;

“his name is aquamarine, huh? hm..”

TAGLIST:

@yevene @aranachan @skylightthesimp @unknowncreature13 @larkkyoris @cerisearan @kult-o @lahsram2201 @shira222 @ragazza-whintigale @kat-kaps @miyakoa @merurishi @azriel-sama @lleoll @eth1ria @atomi-mi @nianre @kenma-izhu @opheliapersona @birbtweettweet @coquettemaiden @shadow-otaku20 @clark401 @lumiriai @lxry-chxn

if you'd like to be tagged in the next chapter, please comment on this post! those that is highlighted in blue, cannot be tagged by me.

[jolalibrary]

a few people have asked me for my top three fics i'm most proud of, so i'm going to be a good host and answer. (I've tagged at the bottom, not for notes or anything, but so you don't lose it in me reblogging)

my reasonings are purely emotional, so yeah. jo is oversharing AGAIN. also, i'm just going to include finished works.

AREPAS

first up, i'm going for arepas. without being long and emotional, if not for this beauty, late night texts would never have been posted. writing romcoms/romances was something an old-jo did before she became unwell, and so a lot of fear/sadness/anxiety was attached to it. but writing this was both freeing, terrifying and beautiful. and it gave me my writing voice back. the one i'd missed. the one that makes me grin like an idiot when i write.

[i'm not going to include LATE NIGHT TEXTS on this list, but please know I am so incredibly proud of it, as this baby deserves the spot light it created. i will forever love LATE NIGHT TEXTS, i think i cried for like a whole week when it finished, but arepas gave me the confidence to even try writing it]

I LIKE THE WAY YOU

i explored so much about myself during this fic. writing two really sex positive people who wanted to explore things, and basically be fuck buddies, as best friends was something i was so intrigued by. it was also at the same time as i was really discovering things i liked too. and smut was something that terrified me to write, but with them it felt easy. it made me brave to ask for things personally but also gave me courage to stretch myself to write something that intimidated me. also, i loved their relationship in this, it was so much fun and while it was always going to a short series, i struggled so much to let them go.

COLD LIPS BLUE

i was super torn between this and isn't it, because i love them both so much and writing din was super intimidating. but, i had felt really lost with some of the other pedro boys at the time and i began the Mandalorian and i just fell deep. while they're interconnected one shots, isn't it just fell out of me, but cold lips blue was like born from somewhere inside of me. the lines in it i'm still so impressed came from my head, the fact i did it all in one sitting and just ached for them when i finished. i can't wait to revisit them, because they're very special to me, and reminded me (when i'd had a pretty shoddy week) that i still have it hahaha.

tagging the moots who asked: @fuckyeahdindjarin @morallyinept @5oh5 @maggiemayhemnj

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's thoughts on the Bad Batch: Season 3x06 and 3x07 (I'm pretty sure I'm formatting this differently every time. Oh well)

Okay, there's a subject I'm going to have to postpone until the end of the post because I want all my thoughts on that to be together: the main operative clone. And the rest might be slightly out of order. I'm also doing this before I see anyone else's thoughts, just so we get the pure version.

Let's go!

I honestly thought that Senator Singh and Riyo were dead meat. But no, they're fine because REX IS COOLER THAN ANYONE. Ugh that man. Freaking throwing the grenade back at him.

Clones are beautiful. That is all.

THAT'S THAT ONE PLACE FROM THE OG CLONE WARS MOVIE!!! TETH!!!

Howzer I love you but if you touch Crosshair we will be having words.

I am actually really proud of Crosshair and his restraint this episode. He could have been really cutting to Howzer.

OMEGA WITH THE TOOTHPIIIIICKS and Hunter is jealouuuus

EDIT: ECHO AND THE CROSSBOW HE'S SO SWEET

WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU CROSSHAIR

It's really nice to see normal clones being normal again. (Too bad it doesn't last)

There's something up with Omega. I'm not going to lie, I think that she and Rex are going to plan to get her captured in order to track her back to Tantiss.

HOWZER STOP DISTRUSTING CROSSHAIR THIS MOMENT

I appreciate that Hunter doesn't seem to distrust Crosshair during this point.

...they really shouldn't have brought that operative back.

Rex is considering stealing Omega, I swear. I love that he gets down to her level.

WOOOOOOOOOOOLFFE (Plo would be so disappointed in you)

It's...odd to see these normal troopers with him.

It's also strange that he cannot comprehend that the clones could be traitors at first.

STOP DYING YOU BEAUTIFUL REGS

'She only bites half the time' I'm pretty sure Omega is lying here but I don't care.

CROSSHAIR IS SUCH A WORRIED DAD HOLY CRAP. 'Oh, I'm much worse' I LOVE YOU

And this just gives such a little insight into how the Batch was when they were together. I have a feeling that Crosshair was a fusser and a nagger.

And I love how Howzer's natural and correct conclusion is: 'no one evil could love that child.' (Unless you're Nala Se)

Hey, actual candor from Crosshair. I keep saying this is who he always was under it all, but I do think he's healed somewhat, at least towards regs. The healing power of Omega.

'Too bad' I LOVE THIS MAN

STOP DYING REGS

Rex talking down Wolffe reminded me so much of him trying to talk Jesse down. So ow.

Okay, what ROCK have they shoved Wolffe under for the last YEAR??? YES THE EMPIRE WOULD GET RID OF THE CLONES YOU DOG BRAINED IDIOT

(Plo would be proud that you let them go)

...they just killed all of Rex's clones, except Howzer and Gregor. And I have a bad feeling about Howzer. STOP TAKING THINGS FROM REX HASN'T HE LOST ENOUGH???

Okay here we are, at the big topic. Hold onto your pants.

That operative clone. Is. Tech. Because if he is not, they are purposefully using the narrative to deceive us.

I might miss a few things, but that's because I'm up past my bedtime and I've been up too late the last few days.

1. The falling and water parallels. This clone falls a LOT during this episode and dives into a lot of water. He even falls into mist. This time it's to kill and capture his siblings instead of save them.

2. The injury. This clone is hobbling around a lot after his injury, which was immediately reminiscent of Tech's broken leg at the beginning of season 2. Both of them are forcing themselves past their limit to achieve a mission. Specifically with injured legs.

3. General attitude and demeanor. In combination with the stealth and injury, this clone has a more hunched posture. His speech patterns are more formal, though we haven't really heard a lot of other clone operatives talk with their helmets on. But he's also apparently allergic to orders. I first thought that he'd be out of the chain of command, but they would have told Wolffe that he wasn't in charge of the operative if that were the case. Or the operative would have straight up told him 'I don't take orders from you' instead of staring awkwardly at him. Instead he runs off and does his own thing. While injured. Not to mention the buttons on his gauntlet. The other clone operatives don't have those.

4. The cybernetic legs. Now we don't know for sure if Tech would have cybernetic legs, but it seems likely for a severely injured trooper. And when Crosshair is looking at the heat signature, you can see that his legs are blue instead of yellow or red. No heat. Not organic.

5. What he says to Crosshair. 'You could have been one of us.' 'You chose the wrong side.' Yes, he's talking about Crosshair resisting the re-education. But flip it on its head real quick. 'You could have been one of us. One of the Bad Batch.' 'You chose the wrong side. The Empire.' Those lines very easily have double meanings.

6. An interesting one is when he starts moving rocks after the explosion. Why would he do that? Why not immediately go find another way in? He's moving only the smaller rocks. There's a large one in the way that he couldn't move himself. And he doesn't get the rest of the troopers to come move it when they arrive. He almost seems confused.

Like he's somewhere else after an explosion, having to move rocks. Like in the Crossing.

I know that this hardly seem like iron clad evidence. But in the language of story telling, it's practically screaming in our faces.

And I'm so glad he's back. I missed him. He won't be himself for a while, but I legitimately believe we'll get one last fight with the Batch all together. Because brain washing is a heck of a lot easier to fix than being dead.

My sister is doing the good work and creating a tik token about it, and I'll probably share it here when she's finished.

(We're getting the episode 'Identity Crisis ON MY BIRTHDAY and so help me if that's about Tech)

Honestly I thought I'd be more excited, but I spent the entire two episodes forcing myself into not having expectations and also I might be in shock.

[sussyscurryscorpio]

Scorpio Placement Observations

(This picture doesn't belong to me in any way) (I just typed whatever I've observed in people around me, so please take only what resonates) (Also, these may apply to 8th house placements too. Tell me if it does)

SCORPIO MOON:

~Every time you're happy, you just can't help but think, "How long until it all crashes down?" It's like you invent your own problems, when there aren't any, and suffer in it until you think hard about what you're crying about and its bleh-bloh-bluh. Nothing.

~"Fuck, I don't even know whatever the hell I am crying about. It's just I want to cry. I feel so down". Then, you get sad about being sad all the damn time and ugh, it's the feedback loop from hell. (Subtle art of not giving a fuck- Mark Manson)

~Having this placement is like your own mind being your worst enemy. You, often, might find it hard to control the negative self talk inside your head. You might even picture, like the three people who shouldn't even matter saying harsh shit to you. Those are not real people, mate. That is your own mind.

~Even if everything in your life is going just fine, it'll keep reminding you how your past sadness felt like. It'll make you cry even if your life is perfect. (If you can call it that) It'll make you addicted to that dropping of your heart, chaos in your head, swirling tsunami of emotions inside you.

~I don't know why but this, of all planets, is the worst debilitated placement. Like your mind is what stays with you all the damn time. This doesn't make your mind weak, it just pushes it to overthink about even the tiniest of shits.

~I don't know if I am exaggerating at this point, but you might find it hard to shut your thoughts. The more you try to keep everything in your head silent, the more the voices scream.

"Are your okay? Are your fine?" "NO I AM NOT, PLEASE STOP ASKING ME THAT" and still the voices in your head will keep repeating the above question.

~But, I've seen, most people who have this placement can read into what's going on in someone's head. They'll notice the tiniest of the smirks, the discreet glint in someone's eyes, the vibe of the whole damn room, that snarky tone of the nicest girl in class, everything. Even if you're a bad judge of people with this placement, you'll notice the red flags even before they show. The reason you fell for their facade is all because you ignored your gut and intuition. "Everything was pointing out how (someone) didn't have their best interest for me but god, I am such an idiot for not paying attention to it."

~To all Scorpio Moons out there, I am proud of you for making it everyday. This isn't an easy placement to have. Oh no wait, that's a rather humble way to put it. This is a challenging, hard, tough, formidable, rough, and what not placement to live with. You're doing great, bud.🤍

~And people who do astrology, 70% of them are Scorpio Moons. I've seen this here on Tumblr, on Discord. It's crazy. Stereotype of Scorpionic Moon being heavily into occult sciences.

~Aaaand. You're all very secretive. You'll come out of the bathroom crying and nobody would know you cried. It's like only you know what you feel. You know the tsunami inside and everybody else is unaware of that fact.

SCORPIO MERCURY:

~I don't know why but this happens a lot with Mercury in Scorpio that they might be joking and everything and there are people laughing. Then suddenly, they say something, not even offensive, and someone takes such an offence over what they say, they'll spoil the Scorpio Mercury's whole vibe and mood.

~Like, they were just joking one second earlier and suddenly they're literally appalled and trying to contemplate how people can twist their words into something so ugly, which they didn't even meant or thought was possible to be thought of, AT ALL.

~After that, they'll just stop speaking much with anyone and shut up. I mean, they don't open up much. They don't. Even if they do, it's a faux persona. That's not the real them. The real them is the one who tried opening up until shit happened (scenario above) and won't open up to you EVER AGAIN.

That plutonian death and rebirth. Speaking your heart, getting hurt by people's reaction, ghosting everyone.

~Oh and this placement doesn't make you a loner. At all. Scorpio Mercury people have, generally, delivered me the juiciest gossip around, Or they don't know anybody's name except their one friend.

One, extremely social Leo Rising with Scorpio Mercury friend of mine knows every shit going around the school. Who fucked who, where, when and how long. He knows everything. He's the go-to person for supplying gossip (and vape?)

And then my extremely introverted Taurus Rising with Scorpio Mercury bestie, doesn't know anybody's name except me, her boyfriend, and our 2 other friends. I'll tell her how this girl screwed around her bestie's boyfriend and 10 minutes later, I'll show her, "Look, that's the bitch" and she'll be like "What bitch? Who are we talking about?" ... I didn't go to school for a month and asked her for gossip and the only thing she came to know was what I already knew 2 months earlier and I DID TELL HER THEN, but she forgot. Pfft.

~Ah shit, I forgot. You are splendid writers. The way you write those raw emotions, fuck, I'm scarred already. It's like beautiful and heart breaking at the same time.

~And you all cuss a lot. It's fun though, ain't it?

~Also, you're just as secretive, aren't you? Your emotions are just for you and your writings to feel.

SCORPIO VENUS

~I mean. Step on me already, please. How are you so hot? Even if you are super possessive of your lover and possibly want to kill the guy they were laughing with 5 minutes ago, I love you, Scorpio Venus.

~I haven't met many Scorpio Venus people honestly. I wish I had. But so many celebrities have this in their sidereal charts and man, they're goddamm gorgeous. Katy Perry, Billie Eilish, Kendall Jenner, Sarah Hyland, Alexa Demie, Nina Dobrev, Rita Ora, and so many more. Look at them closely, they aren't just gorgeous or beautiful, they have an intense look on them. Masters of Siren eyes. Their faces have a kinda shadowy look, you know. Oh and this is in Sidereal, not tropical. (Legit had to calculate everyone's chart one by one 'cause google got no shit)

~No hate to Tropical, you all. It's just I prefer Sidereal for certain reasons. More so now that I know that Leonardo Dicaprio is a Scorpio Venus in Tropical and no way is that happening. (He's got a fkn Libra Stellium of Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury and maybe even Moon in Sidereal and I'm drooling)

~So, back to Scorpio Venus. I haven't really noticed Scorpio Venus having commitment issues generally? I mean if you have, that's absolutely fine. It's just what I've noticed in my conversations with a few Scorpio Venuses.

~They define passion. Maybe I'm stereotyping, but come on, Scorpio is ruled by Mars (Or Pluto) There's got to be some passion. Or a lot of passion rather. Mhmm. Don't give me those bedroom eyes, I'll submit to you, Master.

~Jokes aside. I gotta ask you this. Scorpio Venus, are you of the opinion that sex is not just for pleasure, but a divine linkage of two souls? A connection, a bond, a higher form of spiritual act in itself? Sex might not be everything, but it is very important to you if things are to work for you and your partner?

~You're not into casual relationships, fuck and fly BS, least likely to have a threesome. I've seen this with Capricorn Venuses too. They don't like sharing their loved ones at all. (Sextiles, y'know) Super Loyal Lovers- Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn. (Always)

~Oh and, wear more black. It's your color after all. Black, Purple, these shades bring out your eyes more, or your features are highlighted. And you can totally be seductive without meaning to. You don't even try, it just, its a part of you. (Envious totally)

~And please, you're definitely not extreme, or too much. Maybe for Sagittarius or Libra Venus, idk, you could be, or maybe not, since these signs take it slow and are open to experimenting more, you're absolutely perfect in the way you love. Just, take it easy sometimes too. Intensity all time isn't fun, don't you think?

~OH. Steer clear of obsessive people. Scorpio Venuses attract a crazy lot of lovers often, which are an handful ofc. And also, be conscious of jealous friends. Man, one of my friends has this and her bestie was so insecure and jealous, she went on to screw the Scorpio Venus's ex bf just to prove that she's just as pretty as her. Ugh. Petty.

~Also, please don't give so much of yourself to anyone that there's nothing left for you. You love too much and not everyone deserves it. Hook up culture ain't for you, just don't put your heart in a place where it's left to dust and forgotten.

~You're secretive too, right? Nobody would know you're in love and inside you could be doing backflips and somersaults, totally lovesick.

[timidxtempted]

Why shouldn't I be able to ignore my sub? They're an adult.

That was an ask that I just saw on someone else's blog, and I am not willing to add to that post. But I also can't just let it go.

I am too fucking angry. And that's gotta go somewhere.

I'm just going to start by saying that my personal experience came before I ever identified as a submissive, and the relationship I was in was not in any way a dynamic.

I was ignored. Daily. For much longer than I would like to admit to before I finally got the fuck out. I mean ignored in any way that you would care to define the word.

Wanna know what that did to me, a fully adult person?

Here are a few of the highlights:

By the end, I felt less valuable than the furniture in my house. My self esteem was so shot that it took my best friend moving in with me and constantly reminding me that I was, in fact, a human person worthy of far more than the most basic of respects to even make a dent in the gaping hole where my self worth used to be.

I stopped speaking. I don't mean I stopped trying to be noticed. I mean I stopped speaking. My words didn't matter. So I stopped using them.

I became convinced that the reason he ignored me was that I really was too much. Too needy. Too clingy. I talked too much. I felt too much. Everything about me was literally too much. And as such, I worked daily to reduce myself to the nothing I felt I was.

Do you have any idea how much work has gone into reversing that damage in the ensuing years?

Fast forward to now.

I am submisive. Knowing that about myself, and living through what I did...

I can not even imagine the added damage that being ignored would do in the context of of a dynamic. To entrust myself to someone that could do that? It breaks my heart to think that anyone would be treated like that in any relationship, let alone one that by it's very nature requires consistent, open communication and connection, along with the safe space to express yourself in all your vulnerable fucking glory.

But here's the thing that I am so fucking angry about now, in this moment right here.

I still fight it.

I still fucking have to fight it.

And that is not fucking fair. Sure, it's not fair to me... but more than that it's not fucking fair for my partner, my dominant, that I still have to fight those feelings. He has not given me any fucking reason to have them. And I am so fucking mad that he has to deal with the fallout at times for issues he not only did not create, but has been helping to heal.

I should never have had to be scared to be who I am, even if who I am can be too much at times.

I should never have had to be scared to open my mouth and speak, even if what I say is too emotional or needy.

And I should never have had to be so afraid of quiet that I spin out.

I'm fucking proud of being able to help myself through the feelings, and for trying to better recognize them for what they are, even if I can't always knock them back fully.

And I am very fucking proud of myself for doing, or talking about, or asking for help with the things that I'm scared of, even if I should never have had to be scared of them in the first place.

So to any of you wanna-be d-types out there thinking like the anonymous question asker...

No.

You can't just ignore your sub.

Because you don't fucking deserve one.

Post script...

...Because this hurt and I'm going to end this on a positive note. For me.

I am learning the difference between quiet and silence. Turns out quiet can be pretty fucking fun.

[candyskiez]

Saw ur also a ???% fan… 👀

Care to share your thoughts around him? Or headcanons if you have them? :D

1. You just noticed? I have NOT been talking enough about him then. I will rectify this immediately. (This is a joke you're good)

2. SO.

These will be scattered. Because I am a very scattered person.

I will flip flop between if I like the disconnect between ???% and Mob better as a plural thing or an allegory .I like both! Both is good! He's so fascinating as an allegory but also he's the most accurate representation of being plural I've ever seen and it's not even canon. So like. Two cakes!

I will always be insane about the manga version of confession arc. Hold on I need to talk about this in detail or I'll actually die.

His fucking. His fucking talk with Mob. "And you were never...never...looking at me." WHAT IF I SCREAM. Literally everything he says to Mob is so interesting and also relatable as shit whether you view it as plural or as an allegory. Both is good. Like you can view him telling Mob he forgot to protect himself and all that shit as like "You only do these good things to ease your own guilt. You don't actually want to be around people. You're selfish. This is who I am. I want to be able to exist without trying to be normal. I want to be able to be seen and not be harmed for it. I am tired of everyone ignoring this part of me because they prefer you. Would they actually do what I've done for them, or are they using me?" Like. Holy shit. It's so so fucking OW especially as an autistic person. But also as a system it's so easy to read him going "You pushed all the memories you didn't want onto me. You let me handle the things you didn't want. You shoved everything onto me, and I took it with stride because I loved you. You let me take all the hard things so you didn't have to face them, because you're a coward. This is my body too. This is my life too. Why don't I get to have that? Why do I have to give it up because you don't want me? They're my family too. You don't get to decide I don't deserve to exist because you hate yourself too much to admit I'm here." Like. Its so easy to read it as him being a protector who is SO fucking resentful of all the shit he's had to deal with, all the memories he has to hold alone, all of the shit he's experienced, and not a sliver of gratitude. Like goddamn does it remind me of my experience being a system. Either way the distance from him and the relationship between him and Mob has been my favorite part of the show since I started watching. And the manga is even more interesting and it's so!!!!!!!!!!!

More confession manga thoughts!! Him saying "Ritsu is my little brother. He was calling me Nii-san." Is so. He said that when Mob asked who he was. He viewed that as a solid part of his identity. RITSU is a massive part of his identity. Does he view Mob as not Ritsu's brother then? Does he feel like he was cheated out of his own family? I wouldn't be surprised nor would I blame him for feeling like that.

And even more confession arc shit. Hi. Thinks about how ???% in the anime at least had to steel himself before raising his hand at Reigen. He hates him but he still cares about him. He hates him but that guy raised him as much as his parents did. Clawing at the walls.

Actually y'know what I haven't talked about my thoughts on Reigen and ???% with anyone but the friend that I watched the show with and that is a tragedy that will not stand. ???% hates Reigen so so much but also cares SO much about him. Thinks about he passed out the second Reigen told him his parents were fine, and contrast that to him saying that he can't listen to Reigen in confession. He knows that if he listens to Reigen he'll believe him and that fucking terrifies him. He'll follow after Reigen because he means the world to him, because that man raised him, because he just wants him to be proud of him so fucking badly. He'll go back to being miserable and trapped, and everyone will go back to pretending he doesn't exist. He's terrified of Reigen, I think, because he knows Reigen is a good liar. Reigen can make him believe things. And he doesn't like that. He doesn't like how gullible he actually is. That's why he doesn't trust anyone- he's gullible enough to believe anything, so he has to distrust ANYTHING, no matter how much sense it makes, because he knows he can't trust his own judgement. He's been tricked before. He'll be tricked again. Don't trust anyone. Don't trust anything you see. This is another thing that works with either autism or plurality. The autism trauma of being lied to and deceived as "jokes" constantly turning you into a trust issue riddled mess that doesn't trust your own judgement or view of people, or a traumatized protector who FORMED to help you deal with people taking advantage of you and now distrusts everyone you love because "it happened before, it'll happen again, i wont let it happen." Or both!

God. I just LOVE ???% y'all don't understand. He's everything to me. Please god read the manga. I don't know if the translation I read was completely accurate, but I love the manga and anime both so so much. ???% is my favorite character as anyone who knows me can tell you and I will never shut up about him. My GUY

[biffhofosho]

Sneak Peek: Hot Girls ____

Affectionally referred to in my head as "Hot Girls Blank." This excerpt comes from my first Changkyun multichapter. I am weirdly so proud about this story. Somehow, it has come together very "Kyun" to me. He's a hard one to write because I feel like he's an elusive man to truly know, but I'm just really pumped about this series.

Synopsis: Her whole life, Vi’s been known as the cute one, the cherub-cheeked sweetheart who’s got it all together. She’s a good girl, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be, especially when she keeps losing out to the bad ones.

Vi’s best friend, Changkyun, however, is hardly a saint. He’s a consumer of hot girls, chronically unattached and comfortable that way. If anybody knows how to help Vi step out of her shell and take back her confidence, it’s him. It’s a good thing she can always count on her Kyun to step up to the plate.

“In retrospect,” said Vi as she scrounged through her cupboard for something salty to snack on, “shy librarian was maybe the wrong way to approach a guy these days.”

Changkyun’s brow scrunched. “What’s wrong with a shy librarian?”

“Nothing. She’s just not the girl who catches the attention. We’re living in the era of Instagram models. A guy like you is not taking a girl like me home. I have to face that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he challenged, “and I resent it.”

“I love you, Kyun, and you can resent it all you want, but I have never seen you with a shy librarian on your arm.”

He scowled, but he couldn’t argue because facts were facts. “That’s not because I don’t find them attractive.”

“No, it’s because you assume they all want to tie you down. Sometimes we just want to get railed.”

Changkyun nearly spit his drink across the counter, but instead, he choked it down and finished out a coughing fit. Between wheezes, he managed, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m tired of being the cute girl that has to settle for vanilla sex in a long-term relationship. I’ve had plenty of that, and it was fine for a while, but maybe I want some meaningless hot sex, too. Why not? I’m single.”

“No, I know that, but—”

“See? I can tell from that ‘but’ that you would never expect a 'cute' girl like me to want something like that. Cute girls like fuzzy sweaters and stuffed animals and those teeny little pastries that you eat in one bite.”

“Okay, but you do like those things,” Changkyun reminded.

“Yeah, I know, but I also like sex, and I want more of it.”

“Are you seriously trying to tell me that my best friend since second grade, who once invited me to her My Little Pony party, oh, and made me wear matching onesie Christmas pajamas last year, wants a—” The bottom fell out in his voice and, despite his casual appearance and even more casual attitude to relationships, he whispered, “—fuck buddy?”

“Or a few one-night-stands. I’m not picky.”

Changkyun stared blankly across the counter. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“See? This is my point. No guy like you is going to even consider sleeping with me because you assume I’m going to bring the baggage of a relationship. Well, I want a break from that shit, too. This is where you come in.”

“Whoa, Viola, I know that—”

“Shut up for a second, would ya? I’m not trying to guilt you into sex, Kyun, but I do want your help.”

At this, her best friend cocked his head. “My help?”

Viola leaned across the counter and locked eyes with Changkyun. She could see his nerves in the hard press of his lips, but she knew he was the only guy she could trust with this, so she soldiered on, emboldened by a bad fucking day and good fucking alcohol. “You've done this a lot. This is your wheelhouse. Teach me. Show me how to be a hot girl.”

He sighed and rolled his head back. “Why do you want to be a quote-unquote hot girl, Viola? They're a dime a dozen.”

“Because hot girls get laid,” she said frankly.

Changkyun scoffed. “You’re not a virgin, and you’re hot as is.”

“You have to say that as my best friend, but also, you’re not trying to sleep with me. You and I are in two different leagues of attractive, Kyun. You’re made up of all kinds of sharp angles—you’re objectively hot. I’m a freaking circle. Don’t say it—don’t say it. I know I’m not ugly, okay, but the fact of the matter is I want to be less Shirley Temple and more Naomi Campbell. You can show me how! All you do is interact with people who ooze sexiness. So, just walk me through the things that clue you in that a girl just wants to sleep with you and we can move on.”

“I don’t think I’m comfortable with this,” he admitted.

“Because you think I’m a hopeless case?”

“Because I think you’ll get hurt.”

Vi’s apartment had never felt so quiet. It was like a vacuum, where all sound and light had been siphoned away. She felt the irrational urge to cry, but she wasn’t exactly sure why, and she pulled her hoody tightly over her head again.

Changkyun frowned apologetically. “I’m worried you’re only saying this because you’re a little drunk and a lot hurt already. That’s a bad recipe to start making new life choices.”

“Thanks, Dr. Phil. It’s fine. Forget it. You don’t need to say anymore.”

But he refused to leave it at that. He laid his head on the counter so he was back in her sulky line-of-sight, and he smiled reassuringly. “I don’t think you’re a hopeless case, by the way. It’s just that you’re already so beautiful. You deserve more. I want more for you.”

“Okay, but you don’t get to make that decision for me, just like I can’t make you help me with this.”

Changkyun growled. “You're doing all this because of stupid Henry?”

“No!”

“Really? Because you’ve never said any of this stuff before today.”

Vi leapt up from her seat so she could lean back against the sink and stuff her arms across her chest. “Maybe I was embarrassed to, but after the humiliation I suffered this afternoon, I’m done caring about that. If everyone else can just go after what they want, why can’t I?”

“I get it. It’s just… What's so great about hot girls?”

“You tell me. You bed one a week.”

“‘Bed one?’” he laughed.

“You're only making my point. I’m hopeless without you, Kyun, see?” she whined. She darted back to the breakfast bar next to him as she sensed the first hint of caving.

“Viola, is this what you really want? Some guy who just sleeps with you and doesn't call you ever again?”

Vi ran her fingertip around the rim of her shot glass as she considered Changkyun’s words. “I know you think I’m just saying this because of today, but what do you think today was about in the first place? Yeah, maybe I had a crush on Henry first, and that’s probably the exact wrong way to start something casual, but it wasn’t like I wanted to marry the guy either. You know I've only done the committed thing. What’s so wrong with wanting to explore something new, especially when I see you having an endless good time?”

“It’s really not like that,” he asserted as he took another shot.

She waited for him to finish his thought, but, typical Changkyun, he held back the full breadth of his feelings, and even though Vi knew him better than anyone else, some days it felt like she only knew the tip of the iceberg.

“Yeah, I'm the guy you fuck, but I’m not the one you end up with. Just so we’re both clear, I know jack shit about love.”

“Exactly! You’re perfect. You know what guys like you are looking for. You can be my tutor and my wingman.”

“It’s just a little weird that I’m your best friend. My job has always been to keep you away from guys like me.”

“You’re doing a terrible job then, bestie,” she teased as she nudged his knuckles with her own.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, so for now, let’s just change our title to friends with benefits, okay?”

Changkyun rolled his eyes. “That’s not what that means.”

“I know. I’m trying to be clever.”

He stood up from the bar and waltzed into the living room, hands in his baggy jean pockets. Vi could tell from the way his iris tattoo flexed on his forearm that he was balling his fists, but at least he seemed to be taking her seriously. He paced behind the back of the couch before he leaned on it. His head whipped toward her as he said firmly, “If I do this, we need ground rules.”

“You got it, teach.”

Vi shucked off the Eeyore hoodie and tossed it on the counter as she raced into the kitchen and started rifling through her junk drawer.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting a pen and paper?”

Changkyun laughed. “Of course you are.”

“Hey, organization can be hot, too,” she objected. “And everybody likes a good listener, right?”

At this, her friend paused, stone still as he stared at her. Only when she waggled the pen at him did he blink and nod.

“You said I'm the expert,” Changkyun began, “so I expect you to listen to everything I have to say whether you want to hear it or not.”

Vi scrawled a quick note as she said, “You got it.”

“That means I go with you to clubs and bars when you want to meet guys so I can vet them.”

“Makes sense.”

“And if I don't get a good feeling about somebody you’re pursuing, you drop it instantly.”

“Fair enough.”

Changkyun cleared his throat to lift her attention from her notes. “Instantly, Viola. I mean it. I know how headstrong you can be when you think you're right, but I know the players and the game.”

“I know you do, and I’m not arguing, am I? See? Good listener.”

Again, he gave her a funny stare, and she felt that same sense that he was keeping things from her despite their current conversation.

But then he let out a breath and leaned forward, his hands falling to steady him on the back of the couch. “If you're uncomfortable with anything, you tell me. You don't have to do things just because you think it's what you think you should be doing.”

“I get how limits work, Kyun,” Vi said, a little annoyed, but he shook his head.

“I'm not just talking about bedroom stuff. If something doesn't feel like you, then I don't want you to do it.”

“I said okay…”

“I'm serious. Write it down. It’s the only way I'm agreeing to this.” Changkyun stared hard at her notepad until she finally got over her shock at his force and jotted his words down.

“I hear you, I hear you,” she grumbled.

“You trust me, right?” he asked with a seriousness that Vi had rarely heard from him.

“Of course I trust you.”

There was a shift in the room now. Somehow, the temperature both seemed to plummet and soar at the same time, and Vi felt very disoriented. She was glad for the wall behind her or she might have tripped over nothing but the intensity wafting off of her best friend.

“Good. I want you to trust me enough to tell me absolutely everything,” said Changkyun. Despite how intimidating the man’s aura could be, right now, he was drawing her in closer and closer with those black hole eyes and bittersweet chocolatey voice. “I don't want you to be afraid to tell me all the things you want or like. You know me, I'm the last person in the world who would judge you, but that doesn’t mean it might not surprise me.”

“You mean like I already surprised you tonight?” Vi ribbed lightly.

“Yeah, but now that I know this is what you really want, I'm going to make sure you get it all.”