#and rejection sensitive dysphoria

[jackhammerhim]

I love you! (Projects my problems onto you)

[burntblueberrywaffles]

Bestie I can feel rejected by things you wouldn’t even think of

[chai-penguin]

On Isolation

[evilkitten3]

extremely unsexy of adhd to make me both very annoying and very sensitive to the concept of being perceived as annoying

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

It is estimated those with ADHD receive 20,000 corrective or negative messages by age 10

Neurodivergent_lou

[theteleportingtransfem]

Reblog if you’re a transfem who is shy and you fear abandonment, even when you know that your friends are amazing and would never leave you.

Or if you like pizza.

[captainswan618]

there is a person standing 73 yards some distance away, watching you. they look like they’re trying to tell you something. you can’t get away from them, nor can you get close to them. they’re just...standing there.

so your friends and loved ones try to help you by talking to them, and the person must be saying something to them, because they look at you differently now. but you have no idea what it was, all you hear is static.

you try to tell them not to listen to the person, but no matter what you do, no matter how much you plead with them, they look up at you with suspicion-hatred-fear and just run. they don’t care where they’re going, just that you’re not there. and you can’t do anything to stop it.

the more that the people in your life care about you, the worse it is, because anyone who tries to help is turned against you. so you are just gradually shut out of your own life by the people you love the most, until eventually you no longer recognize your surroundings.

there is a person standing 73 yards some distance away, watching you.

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

[existennialmemes]

It's been said before but I'm saying it again: being mentally ill and very self aware of it is extremely annoying because it's like:

My Brain: You are worthless and everyone is making fun of you.

Me: Uhh, no? I just had an extremely minor, low stakes misunderstanding, and everyone was very cool about it. It's fine. No need to panic.

My Brain: [immediately dousing itself in cortisol] You don't get to decide that. Now I'm cancelling all of the dopamine and serotonin. You can just sit there and think about your unforgivable error.

Me: Wildly unnecessary, but ok I guess

[crush-echoes]

i dont know if anyone actually likes me

it doesnt feel like they do

everyone seems so close to each other

what if theyre talking about me

do they hate me

[thisboydreamsoflife]

Sometimes I question if I'm actually neurodivergent, and then someone speaks to me in a tone that's even slightly irritated, and I'm ready to throw myself into a hole and sob until I'm floated back out.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[hellenhighwater]

Hellen, how do you know how to do so many things? I know how to do a few things but I look at your stuff and every time I'm like "damn. I wish I could do that"

oh, I just do them.

It's after 1:30 am, so you get the existential answer. The fun thing about personhood is you get to just be whatever. You can't necessarily do whatever--money and laws are things, unfortunately, and you only get so much control over the opportunities available to you. But you can sort of just throw yourself down on the anvil of life and hammer yourself into whatever shape you want. Ideally the process of it drives out some flaws as you go, but sometimes also you take an impurity and make yourself stronger with it.

I am, still, a person who is terrified of failure; of incorrectness; of being wrong. And there is nothing to do with fear except shatter it with blunt force, and so I line myself up against failure again and again and again. I will try. I must; or the fear of failure wins, and I must keep trying after I fail or I have failed utterly. I fear failure, and therefore I take it as a challenge. I must do what I think I cannot. And you know what? More often than not, I can.

I have a weird and wandering skillset because I make myself try things, knowing full well that I will remember for decades every time someone saw me be less than instantly successful, because the only way I know to get better is to batter down the dross of my own fear. That's the deal. I'm not doing anything that nobody has done before. I know it's all possible. I just have to be the sort of person that does it. And it gets easier every time. If the question is can it be done and the answer is yes, then the next question is can I be the one to do it, and the answer is I want to be.

Every time I fail my way over and over to eventual success, trying again the next time is less scary; every time I have a broader base of skills to carry to the next challenge. I'm not unusually talented, just stubborn as hell, and I've lived long enough on I have to do what scares me that honestly, not that much scares me anymore.

If you keep failing long enough, it turns out that you just get really good at problem solving, and figuring out unconventional ways to reach your goals. It's not about a special secret concoction of skills, it's about persistence, and hammering away until you've taken a mess and made it into something you think is worth keeping. It's not easy, but it is simple.

Also I have incredibly strong unmedicated ADHD. But I sort of assume that's glaringly obvious.

[openmindpsych]

i think there needs to be a shift in the way people talk about rejection sensitivity. while the sensitivity is often more than is necessary or appropriate, it's not totally unreasonably making things up to be anxious about. it reminds me of hypervigilance in ptsd - during childhood, there were tons of small rejections you experienced. and social rejection is a big deal - in the past, being rejected by your social group meant death! so your brain learned to pick up on those small rejections to stay safe. and even if you're in a safer environment now, like among friends who love you, your brain has already learned how to be cautious. it's annoying, and often unhelpful, but your brain is just trying its best to keep you safe. it's not just an overreaction or making up problems where there are none.

[clown-around-and-find-out]

is this a safe space for me to admit that i absolutely hate the term "neurospicy." is it just me or do other neurodivergents agree

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD Signs of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Extremely defensive

mind replays upsetting events

Severely hurt when they feel abandoned

Often has low self esteem and is socially anxious

Never feels like they did a good enough job

Often believes that people are disappointed in them

Positively DBT - BPD, Autism, ADHD Peer Support