#and regularly give me flashbacks not just to my childhood but to my childhood bullies

[lacewise-psas]

I stay out of most online discussions about housing because leftists will almost instantly reveal they will never think housing is affordable unless the middle class (so them, specifically) can afford a detached single family suburban home because they feel entitled to a lawn

But I am once again begging you all to stop because I actually do want to talk about rent prices, local corruption, wages, etc

And frankly suburbia can get renatured for all I care about cul-de-sacs (although obviously the best solution is a mix of redesigning them as villages, stop stealing land, and straight up giving stolen land back)

I wonder why people online pretend broke and poor are synonymous and then I remind myself that you all don’t actually want to listen to poor people because you’re just as classist and snobbish and elitist as the best of them so you have to invent fake poor people to go back to centering yourselves and it is ruining my online experience

The amount of leftism that is just “I’m too good to live in an apartment, with the poors” is insulting and hurtful; but more than that it’s cliche, ahistorical, and annoying

People don’t want change they just want to put stuff back the way it was when it was less bad for them specifically under the branding of “revolution”—which is, again, annoying—you say you hate an imagined past but your vision of the future never leaves the 1950s-1980s that never existed anyway

And that’s the end of my regularly scheduled frustrated rant

[gofancyninjaworld]

Thinking about Garou

Question: "Compared to the first season, which draws attention to Saitama's exhilarating punches, the second season focuses on story development. Did you have any specific goals while drawing the story?" Murata: "There was one thing that I requested from ONE Sensei before drawing my re-illustrated manga. At first, there were plans to cut out Garou's childhood with the bully in my version, but that scene really left an impression on me. I thought it was a vital part of understanding Garou's position, so I discussed it with ONE Sensei and requested that I be able to leave it in for y version. And it was paced so well in the anime! I believe it ended up being a very high-quality scene." -- From the liner notes of One-Punch Man Season 2.

I'm including this because I feel it's fundamental to really talk about Garou with any depth. Garou without context does not make sense. He is a kind, sensitive, and thoughtful young man who wants to do good in the world. Yet, he caused a horrifying amount of harm, both directly and indirectly, and ultimately undermined his own goals.

I'm glad that ONE listened to Murata about keeping Garou's childhood flashback. Without it, he'd just have been a thug attacking heroes for no reason to us (pretty much as the heroes saw him). Not only that, but ONE has gone a lot further in the manga in showing us the context in which Garou grew up that's been very helpful for understanding who Garou is, what he saw, and making some sense of his powerful yet contradictory desires.

Ultimately Garou is Garou. He's his own person and the buck for his actions firmly stops with him. No matter what, I can't imagine him not being an independent thinker with the determination to put his thoughts into action.

But...

...the tragedy of his thinking becomes clear when we see his thinking of monsters as metaphors for what is misunderstood or unacceptable in ourselves (a popular enough one IRL where monsters aren't real) and compare it with the reality of his world in which monsters have won, successfully restricting humans to one continent, and people like heroes because they are reminders that sometimes, even apparently overwhelming evil can be defeated. Nothing good happens when you deny the reality around you.

You know Garou's rant about uniting the world with fear? It's a standalone rant in the webcomic. The manga gives us a snapshot of the context in which he came to this conclusion. As this is a place that is no stranger to natural disasters -- forget the monsters -- Garou has no doubt experienced at least one big storm, or flood, or earthquake, or volcanic eruption in his life. In those days and weeks that follow, he's no longer an outcast. Nobody cares about where you come from or who you are: people help each other. At least until normalcy is restored. That's something he's directly experienced.

That's just human nature: even in individualistic societies, for every report of looting in the wake of a natural disaster, there are hundreds of people trying to help. And this is a much more collectivist society that has to deal with disasters semi-regularly. That's the sense of looking out for each other in the face of a tragedy bigger than any person he wanted to recreate—only permanently.

Then we get bits of Garou through the people around him. We got nothing about his parents in the webcomic but in the manga, his parents refuse to see him or get him out of custody. They've given up on him. To make it worse, the audience ONE is writing for understands that Garou is a minor until he's 20 (the law recently changed in Japan but it wasn't even up for debate when ONE started writing OPM). So they've done the equivalent of washing their hands of a 16-year-old. That's got to have hit Garou very, very hard, even if he was estranged from them. He'd have liked it if his father cared enough to tell him what to do.

We see how Bang has literally taken on the role of in loco parentis. It's been interesting to see that the reason Bang has chased after Garou so relentlessly is because he sees himself in the young man. However, we also see that he deeply misunderstands Garou too. Bang beat up people because he was an extremely selfish young man who felt he was entitled to everything.

Garou beat up people because he is an extremely thoughtful young man who sees himself as bringing a great good into the world at the expense of some heroes.

It's definitely going to cause trouble but that's okay -- nothing in life is smooth and such differences are inevitable. With love, such struggles are worthwhile.

Garou's an object lesson in why the energy to do things in the world rarely comes with the power to make those changes. His overly simple solutions were disastrous. But one thing we can also say about Garou: he's a fast learner. He's literally rebuilding his life little by little in the webcomic by rebuilding the world around him. In the manga, he's been given the opportunity to sift through his thinking and find what's genuinely good. We'll see how it all shakes out.

[rogue-taxidermy-of-sarina-brewer]

FLASHBACK FRIDAY~

Without question, the most significant event of the last decade came to me in the form of a radio show in 2017. To the surprise of everyone participating in the show, a PETA spokesperson issued a statement sanctioning the use of humanely acquired dead animals for the purpose of art. 

  It was an episode of The Current on CBC radio, hosted by the acclaimed radio and television journalist Anna Maria Tremonti. The show was about the genre of rogue taxidermy art and how the genre spurred the current taxidermy revival. The show featured several interviews with people associated with rogue taxidermy. As co-founder of the genre and the subsequent artistic movement, I was among the interviewees. The genre was the brainchild of co-founder Scott Bibus, co-founder Robert Marbury, and myself. In 2004 we coined the term “rogue taxidermy” and formed an online artist collective based on our respective styles of sculpture. We then began recruiting artists working in a similar vein to join our collective and unite under the moniker of rogue taxidermy. The definition of rogue taxidermy that we set forth is: “A genre of pop-surrealist art characterized by mixed media sculptures containing conventional taxidermy-related materials that are used in an unconventional manner”. The genre encompasses a variety of materials and doesn’t always involve animal parts, it can be entirely synthetic. However, the foundation of our collective was a doctrine that mandated animals could not be killed for the sake of art and all members of the group were required to adhere to this directive. Ultimately our efforts led to the collective spearheading an international artistic movement centered around our ideology and our aesthetic. It became known as the Rogue Taxidermy art movement. Predictably, PETA denounced it.

  Prior to forming our collective I had a long history of using animal remains in my art. And a long history of receiving pushback. I began incorporating animal parts into my art in the early 1990’s while earning my BFA from the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. Because of my love for animals, the philosophy underlying my work dictated that I only use animals that died of natural causes and roadkill. Out of respect for Mother Nature my mantra in the studio was “waste not, want not” because nothing that was once living should ever be taken for granted. So when I sat down with my fellow co-founders, Scott Bibus and Robert Marbury, to write up a charter for membership to our collective I clearly needed those precepts to be included. We wove them into the philosophical framework of the genre and this code of ethics was explicitly laid out on our collective’s website, just as it had been laid out on my own personal website for many years prior to forming the collective. My ethical practices had always been front and center on my personal website in the form of my artist statement and biography. My site conveyed the special bond I had with animals during my formative years and how the intimate relationships I had with them shaped my art. It explained how my work was an homage to the animal. How turning an animal’s body into a piece of art was the purest form of veneration; a type of veneration akin to the bejeweled remains of saints enshrined in Medieval Churches, or to the Victorian practice of creating mourning art out of the hair and teeth of deceased loved ones. I talked about my work being deeply rooted in a personal belief system that could be traced back to my childhood; a belief system that occupied the same place in my psyche that formal religion occupied in other people’s psyche. My work was a form of zoolatry.

  But none of that mattered to my sanctimonious haters. I was persecuted for my belief system for years. The lambasting often came from hypocrites who experienced no moral dilemma when eating or wearing a cow, yet they had a problem with me utilizing roadkill. It was the early 1990's and using an animal’s body in art was taboo. Animal activists throwing red paint onto the fur coats of celebrities and fashion runways was at the height of its popularity during this era. I was the victim of bullying for nearly 20 years in the form of endless hate mail, death threats, and being slandered in literature by prominent animal rights authors. The attacks generally had one of two themes; my art was disrespectful, and/or I needed to give the animals a proper burial. Apparently all animals are Christian LOL…. FTR, burying the dead would be sacrilege in many cultures… But I digress. I never lashed out at my critics. Instead, I spent endless hours of my life responding to their misdirected hate with courteous email responses that reiterated the principles behind my work. I attempted to initiate conversations about tolerance by gently reminding them it was not their place to impose their standards, customs, and beliefs on other people (or onto a dead animal...) The concept of reverence is contingent upon intent and context. No one has the right to decide how someone else is allowed to venerate something. Nor does anyone have the right to force their aesthetics on someone else simply because something doesn’t appeal to their tastes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This (uphill) battle continued for years.

So fast forward to 2017... Never in my wildest fantasies did I think I would someday be sitting in a radio broadcasting booth where the sound bite following my interview would be a PETA representative speaking these words: 

“[When discussing rogue taxidermy] The most important thing is to look at how the animal died. If the animal died naturally or in an accident, then PETA doesn’t have a problem with preserving their carcass. . .” 

  The moment was surreal. Our mission finally resonated with the largest animal rights group in the world. And in that moment, this became a landmark radio broadcast. It was testament to the merit of our core values. Those of us who fought on the front lines took flak for decades as we carved out our niche. In doing so, we laid a path for others to follow. And many did. Via strength in numbers, and sheer perseverance, dialogue developed that began engaging the mainstream. Dialogue about human/animal relationships. About how humans process death. About the concept of reverence. And about making space for practices outside those of the dominant culture. The radio show was an achievement of a lifetime for me. Appeasing PETA was never a goal, and that’s not the achievement. (I have probably taken issue with as many of their activities over the years as they have taken with mine.) The fact that they acknowledged our mission represented a higher accomplishment – it was an indicator that the movement’s ideology had influenced mainstream sensibilities. As an artist who has had to defend her work and her character for her entire life, it was incredibly validating in that regard. PETA’s statement was vindication of the tenets I had been actively championing for a quarter of a century. 

  The "no kill" ethics platform of the Rogue Taxidermy art movement is a first-of-a-kind. Prior to the inception of the genre of Rogue Taxidermy art, never before in history had taxidermy been associated with the humane sourcing of animals. Conversely, taxidermy had been associated with the killing of animals. This stigma created a seemingly insurmountable hurdle for the movement. Historically, all groundbreaking cultural movements were considered deviant and radical at their inception. Encountering resistance is part of the birth of any movement that calls into question long-standing traditions and moral standards. But challenging established societal norms is how horizons are broadened and new concepts are assimilated. It's the fundamental basis of how culture evolves.

Clearly the statement issued by PETA is in no way saying all art created within the genre of Rogue Taxidermy is acceptable to them. Not everyone working under the umbrella of Rogue Taxidermy adheres to the genre’s cornerstone values. There is no lack of people exploiting the genre’s popularity to line their own pockets. I regularly see the catchphrase “ethically-sourced” thrown around in situations where that descriptor is a real stretch. Of course there are gray areas, and of course there is room for interpretation on both sides of the fence. However, PETA’s statement was inarguably a milestone; one that was reached after an arduous journey of baby steps. To the artists working within the genre who are purists, and as such practice true humane-sourcing of their animals; hats off to every single one of you. #You’veComeALongWayBaby

__________________________________________________

I encourage you to replace your daily podcast time slot with this radio broadcast. It’s worth every second of the 20-minute time investment, especially the last half  – You absolutely don’t want to miss the extremely insightful interview with author, lecturer, and researcher Joanna Ebstein, founder of the Morbid Anatomy Museum. The segment also features the immensely talented Beth Beverly who was a fellow member of the rogue taxidermy artist collective.

  Click here to listen to the show ~

__________________________________________________

Unabridged history of the art movement https://www.sarina-brewer.com/introduction.html

My biography & artist statement https://www.sarina-brewer.com/taxidermy-sculpture-artist-sarina-brewer.html    

_________________________________________________

[80srockher]

Yuri on Ice Rewatch and Live-Commentary, Episode 1: Easy as Pirozhki!! The Grand Prix Final of Tears

*There are spoilers throughout.  I also make assumptions that anyone reading has already seen the episode or has a grasp of the content.*

Source: http://yurionicescreencaps.tumblr.com

The opening scene is so pretty.  Really sets a tone.  I went in knowing nothing about the anime first go-around, so I found Yuri and Victor’s grow/glow-ups montages interesting.  

This theme song is… not my favorite.  Maybe it’s the French horns?  That and too much synth.  I usually skip over it but want to give it a chance this go-around.

Heh, Victor and his gold blades to match his gold medal.  And his European af haircut.  Can’t remember the last time I saw an American past the age of 12 with bangs. No mistaking him for anything other than Eastern European.

Also, the poster on the left is for Victor, I believe.  Can he pull his leg that high in the air?  Was that featured and I forgot?  I’ll be on the lookout for it.

Also, looks like Jean JACK made it to Sochi and placed third here too, lolz.

Yes, please listen to your coach, Yuri.  Don’t poke the wound.  Stay off the internets.  ESPECIALLY the figure skating internets.  What little I remember from when I used to follow the sport is that it’s dramatic, to put it nicely.

I keep getting distracted by the utter Euro-ness of the Europeans in this show. The cut of Coach Celestino’s suit is so Italian I weep. He’s too smooth.

Yuri’s name tag has his name in Cyrillic as well?  Cute.

My first impression of Yuri was that he looks about 18 and that impression hasn’t changed.  Perhaps it’s the glasses, but he def looks youthful. I’m also someone who’s been accused of looking a decade+ younger than I actually am, so I can sympathize.

Speaking of sympathy – Yuri caved to pressure, binged ate before the competition while mourning his dog, then bombed his first trip to the Grand Prix final.  All in front of his idol.  Damnity damn damn.  Sorry, kid.

Is Cao Bin ever introduced on the show?  Something else I forgot, maybe?

Now, when I first saw this poor child crying in the bathroom, that’s when I knew the series was going to be much different from the light-hearted anime about figure skating I expected.  It got real deep real quick.

Yuri Plisetsky “The Russian Punk”.  Is this something the in-universe media refers to him as?  Because I only recall (JPN) Yuri saying it and only this once.

This screencap is during the scene where the journalist Marooka (sp?) is hassling Yuri about his future plans and instead of answering, Yuri can only stare at someone else’s puppy that reminds him of his dead Vicchan.

This baby is crying. Cry.ing.  This has been a tough day for poor Yuri, overall.

And he talks down to himself so much.  It’s all his fault he caved to pressure. He was an idiot to think he could meet his idol on the same playing field.   He’s come so far and still thinks so little of his accomplishments.

So, I understand this “one year later” is not really accurate, lol.  It’s just the new  year following the previous season.  I was confused initially about a number of soon-to-happen events before Yuri’s mental alter ego cleared it up.

So, per Minako’s voice actress, Yuri really is pronounced YOO-RI.  Cute.

Four Continents is… not a Grand Prix competition?  My figure skating knowledge is all rust now.

LOL, Minako does. Not. Play. And she wears a pinky ring.  My God, that death grip on poor Yuri.

It’s snowing outside the train station when Yuri and Minako leave.  So, it’s not unusual to snow in this region in March, but it’s highly unusual a month or so later. Man, hard to believe Yuri sat around for almost an entire month before the infamous video became viral.  More on that, later.

So, based on everyone’s interactions with Yuri so far, the only person who cares that he didn’t make it to the World Championships is him.  And he should care since he’s worked basically his entire life towards that goal.  But, he doesn’t appear to have let anyone down but himself, though he doesn’t act that way.

So, the fact that the family hot springs is named “Yu-topia”… did that influence Yuri’s name at all, I wonder?

Ha!  I wish I could have recorded the Japanese actor’s voice when he says this line.  He makes Yuri sound so done with it all, lol.  It’s the best.

Ok, so a number of very interesting and entertaining things happen in succession that I don’t feel like screencapping.  No hug between the littlest Katsuki and the senior Katsukis, even though he hasn’t been home in 5 years.  Fascinating. No doubt cultural (I’m guessing) but fascinating.  

Yuri’s mom basically calls Minako a drunk.  To her face. LOL.  But I imagine no one can get mad at this sweet lady.

Minako calls Yuri out on his weight gain in front of God and everybody.  Though, I think it’s more of a matter of his clothes no longer fitting due to said weight gain.  

But, his parents don’t care. Eat more pork cutlet bowls, Yuri! Welcome home!

Vicchan’s shrine is where they also store the unused treadmill.  Want to bet the only person to use it was Yuri?

Then older sis Mari-neechan appears with frosted tips.  I can appreciate a character that doesn’t beat around the bush (a trait she inherited from her mother, I imagine).  Welcome home, Yuri, but don’t sit on your ass.  Start thinking about your next move.    

Actually *loads headcanon* I suspect Mari doesn’t want Yuri to give up on skating.  The longer he stays at home, the more quitting becomes a possibility.

So, the Katsuki family hot springs resort (Inn?  Restaurant?) is the last one standing in town.  Very OT, but I wonder if the hot springs are still an attraction at all and are perhaps, government-owned?  Protected, used by tourists for a fee, perhaps?  I think about things like that.

Having never visited a hot spring, and based on the setting around Minako while she watches the World Championships on TV, it appears to be a place for people to come, soak, and lounge and grab a bite to eat if the mood strikes.  So, the Katsukis wait on people basically all day long.  Gotta be exhausting work.

Yuuuuuko!  The Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu!  Yuri’s crush on her is hella cute.

A slight segue to Yuri’s perceived attraction to Yuko and what it could imply about his sexual identity.  Per his labeling of Yuko as a “Madonna,” I figure Yuri considers Yuko untouchable, perhaps even “too good” for him.  Yuko, just like Victor, is “ideal”.  For someone as self-conscious as Yuri, comparing any romantic prospects against his two ideals was probably a convenient excuse not to get *too* close to anyone, male or female.  That being said, he didn’t pursue Yuko.  Alcohol loosened enough of Yuri’s inhibitions to eventually openly flirt with Victor, but this is still an important distinction, IMO.  He pursued one of his ideals (in more ways than one, even going so far as to leave home to in hopes of becoming Victor’s equal) and left the other one behind.

Yuri idealizes/d Yuko, and comes to love Victor.  He’s gay.  Bi, at the least.  

I don’t feel confident in applying any other labels, because I’m a straight.  Yuri could fall under any number of categories as long it they include, IMO, same-sex attraction.

In actuality, Yuko is “introduced” to the audience as Yuri’s straight love interest, but that doesn’t last long.  Cute and clever, show creators.  Cute. And . Clever.

Then we find out, via flashback, a) how adorable they all were when they were little kids and b) Yuko wanted to see Yuri compete against Victor.  Yuko has been a profound influence on Yuri.

So, Victor.  This guy is in a class by himself.  The animators obviously invested a lot of time in his movements.  You can see why he leads the field even at 27.

Also, the creators had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to compose an original opera aria for a cartoon.  That was my next indicator that this was more than a cutesy figure skating anime.  

The song really is beautiful, too.  Probably my favorite in the soundtrack.

Who’s the last IRL skater to win 5 consecutive World Championships?  Michelle Kwan, maybe?  Who is Kwan’s male equivalent?  Back then, probably Alexei Yagudin?  May research. May not. 

Anyway, Victor is the Michelle Kwan of YOI-verse lol.

Hmm.  Here come the three brats.  Good God.  Poor Yuko and Takeshi lol.

So sweet to see Yuri’s childhood bully is his biggest fan now.

Sooo, Yuko’s triplets secretly record Yuri’s private performance, post it online (sometime before April 10, when Victor shows up), and things progress rather quickly from there...

Or do they?  It appeared to me that Yuri caught up with Yuko at the rink the same day he returned home.  Did he skate Victor’s routine for her that day, as well, or did it happen later?  Perhaps the triplets waited a few weeks to post the video, or else it took a few weeks to go viral.  Did Yuri turn off his phone for *weeks* to avoid the world?

Maybe he got home on March 30 and then the whole month of April just went to hell for him?  The possibilities...

LOL, I’m so SO mad the title of the video is “Katsuki Yuri TRIED to Skate Victor’s FS Program”. Those brats.

This might be the most unattractive Victor’s ever looked.  Severe close-ups aren’t flattering on anyone.  Welp, down the rabbit hole now.  

So, in the next scene it snows in April which doesn’t stop anyone from stripping naked to bathe in a hot spring, apparently.  Or it just doesn’t stop Victor.

#moneyshot

I like this ending theme much better.  It’s a head-bopper.  The Instagram reel kills me.  

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read through this stream of consciousness!  No idea how long it may take me to get through the rest.  I tip my hat to those who regularly and passionately participate in fandom.  It’s a lot of work!

[angria]

Dear Fr. P

You will not remember me; I graduated [hellhole] in 2004.  My experience, from [pre-school] to 8th grade, was beyond what I can describe as awful and torturous.  I suffer from a list of mental disorders, including Complex PTSD and severe Major Depression, for over a decade now because of the bullying and abuse I received, amongst other reasons.  This does not include the damaging symptoms blatantly visible and ignored for the many years of my childhood.  I write to you to make you aware of your role in my suffering that will continue the rest of my life.

I remember you and the other incompetent teachers repeatedly instilling in me how much God remains abhorrent of my existence.  You all led me to believe, amongst other judgments, that my mistakes were sins, permanent marks on my soul to be remembered upon death least I face the punishments of Hell.  Religion was used as a tool to control and punish.  As a child, I tried so incredibly hard to be perfect, to never sin so that God may look upon me, just once.  But, there was no God there.  He never once protected me.  Following certain events, I arrived at the conclusion that God had abandoned me and I no longer wanted to put faith in a Father who did not protect His children.  Do you know what happened the night I came to that conclusion?  I tried to kill myself.  At 10 years old.  

I remember how you and visiting priests broke the sanctity of Confession, using what was said the priests against students at that school and parish.  How you and three or four other priests performed the Sacrament on the altar in front of the whole congregation of students.  We would line up in the aisle to sit with one of the priests.  No privacy or sanctity whatsoever.  Because of this, I cannot participate in the Sacrament to this day due to the fear and triggers that it holds over me.

But, do you know what I remember most?  I remember a specific event during my final 8th grade year at that hellhole, an event that frequents my flashbacks and nightmares.  Towards the end of the academic year, weeks before our graduation, a student graffitied on the side of the main building a curse word directed toward the assistant principal.  A witch hunt ensued and you led the frenzy.  You and the other 8th grade teachers yelled and scolded the class, forcing us to write down on a slip of paper the name of the student we believed to have done the act.

Do you know what happened?  Of course you don’t.  Because you never paid attention to the incessant abuse I received from others all my years at that school.  A group of girls spread the idea that I did it.  That I was the one who graffitied the phrase on the building.  Me, a student who never once received a demerit, detention, or any other form of discipline.  A student who was given a scholarship and named valedictorian because their grades were consistently A’s.  A student who was so terrified and trapped by the idea of going to that school every day, they always cried themselves to sleep, regularly self-harmed, and continually fantasized about suicide.  So, based on that rumor, over half the class wrote my name down on those slips of paper.  How do I know this?  Because of you.  You were the one who told me, accused me of the act after I repeatedly said I did not do it once the shock wore off.  Yet, I was powerless to protect myself against you and the others.

The principal and assistant principal brought me to the office.  One believed me.  The other did not care.  Do you know what happened in the following weeks?  I was relentlessly tortured, emotionally and physically, by my so-called peers.  The girls sneered at me, yelling at me to my face to give up.  The boys laughed at me, shoving and prodding me in the hallways and on the playground.  Where were the adults, you ask?  Oh, they were there, seeing all of this happening.  They did nothing.  They did nothing to help or protect me, telling a 13 year old child that their hands were tied and subsequently looked away.  And those abusers got away with it.  You got away with it.

Majority of my childhood is a blur of dissociation, but these certain events?  They pass through my memories vividly.  Years later, I still have flashbacks and nightmares of you and the others, seeing your faces, feeling the terror you all invoke.  I cannot escape.  My entire life, I never knew nor will know what it is like to feel completely safe.  I still struggle with wanting to cut into my skin to stop the images replaying in my head and to punish myself for existing.  I still struggle with wanting to kill myself in order to escape from the unrelenting, life-long pain.  I attend intensive therapy multiple times a week.  I enter hospital program after program.  I take multiple medications a day just to be able to function, to keep the never-ending symptoms at bay.  This past is how I measure my worth.  This is how I define my being.  All of it summed up in the spit, the names, the threats, the sneers, the shoves, the touches.  The laughs.  For the rest of my life, never will I forget the laughs, ringing in my ears.

I currently live in [the city], away from the agonizing reminders of that hellhole and my abusers.  In order to correct the poor excuse of your instruction concerning God and the Church, I studied Theology at the undergraduate and graduate level so I could rebuild my foundation and change my perceptions of who God is and His role in my life.  Currently, I teach Theology to middle and high schoolers so that these children may never experience what I was taught.  I have my bad periods that can still span months at a time, but I am working hard on recovery and making a life for myself that makes me happy and joyful.  

All in spite of what you and all the others did at that God-forsaken school and church.  So I hope you sit with this letter and think long and hard about the damage you inflicted and the role you have in people’s lives.  Do not pray for me for I do not need your travesty of prayer.  The one you should be praying for is yourself.

Truthfully and sincerely,

E.