#and really having to face going back to his wife who he (rightfully) feels guilty about leaving.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Silver Springs Part 6

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~10.5k

Summary: Wanda tries to leave her mob life behind to start a family with you

A/N: Today kinda sucked, so here’s another chapter 🙃. This chapter is definitely 18+ only! I’ll be looking through again soon to make sure y’all aren’t kiddos. Enjoy! 

Chapter Warnings: Hints of torture, blood, and violence. Smut.

You open your eyes at the sound of Wanda’s furious voice, and it’s almost simultaneous that the hand on you leaves. You turn back to the blonde in front of you to see that Wanda’s holding a gun to his head and you hate how happy this makes you. Boone breaks free from the two behind you and growls at them forcing them to back away but they run right into Nat who looks equally pissed.

The duo had met up as Wanda was leaving Pietro’s office and since Nat was done with her assignment, she was off to get lunch. Wanda accompanied her downstairs in search of you and they simply chatted for the short ride about you and your future at the compound. Wanda was going to try and get you to stay here for a few weeks and despite agreeing that this was the right decision, Nat wasn’t sure how she’d convince you. Despite it being safer here, she knew you didn’t want to put your life on hold for too long. It wasn’t until they arrived downstairs that they both realized it might be a harder sell than they thought.

Wanda was furious and honestly only seconds away from blowing this idiot’s brains out. She wasn’t sure who he thought he was, but he was probably going to die today if someone didn’t come stop her from shooting him. He quickly drops his hand from you and holds them up in surrender. He looks terrified and rightfully so given the circumstance. You just scowl at him before wiping at your cheek with a frown. You don’t realize you’re bleeding until you feel the wetness on your fingers and you curse under your breath.

“I-I’m so--.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me you piece of shit.”

Wanda’s accent always comes out a little more when she’s tired, needy, or angry and you honestly hate the way the hair at the back of your neck stands up at the sound. You watch as she turns to you with a concerned look and her eyes darken further at the sight of your bleeding face.

“Nat, take care of those two, will you? Bucky, get this one out of my sight before I kill him.”

You didn’t realize that Bucky was back until you turn to see Nat holding both of the men’s collars with Bucky by her side. He feels guilty for leaving you not five minutes ago, and is more than happy to lock this asshole up and throw away the key. Or at least hide it until Wanda comes to deal with him.

“My pleasure.”

He’s gone with the blonde being dragged behind him, and Nat’s gone a few seconds later leaving you with your wife who still looks furious. She watches Bucky lead the blonde away and she’s still considering shooting as he retreats. Instead, she turns to you and holds out her hand for you with a worried look.

“Come on, detka.”

You don’t hesitate to follow her on the short trip to the elevator, and Boone is right behind you. You really should have just let him bite the idiot. You don’t realize you’re shaking until you’re in the elevator and the doors have closed. You try to take a deep breath but you find that your chest is tight and you start to panic as you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Y/n, breathe. It’s okay, love.”

You shake your head as you groan under your breath and rest your hands on your knees to try and take a deep breath. When you finally succeed you nearly scream as you stand back up and look at your wife who’s eying you nervously.

“That asshole! God why do men suck?”

Wanda shakes her head because she’s often wondered that as well. Most of the time she attributes their behavior to their ego, and she has a feeling this was the exact same. However, she’s not going to focus on that right now because she’s more concerned with making sure you’re alright. She reaches out for you and she’s grateful that you meet her half way and pull her in for a hug.

“God, I wish I knew. Are you okay? He hit you pretty hard.”

You shake your head because you still feel your cheek throbbing from where he hit you. The sensitive prick. You take another deep breath as you struggle to stay on your feet. You’re tired and dealing with scorned men is not how you planned this afternoon out. You let Wanda fuss over you and make sure the bleeding’s stopped before she leads you off the elevator and to your rooms. You follow her lead to the kitchen where she grabs a washcloth, and some ice, but you jerk away from the ice pack with a hiss.

“I’m surprised you didn’t shoot him right there in front of his friends.”

Wanda shook her head with a sigh before she muttered under her breath that she should have.

“I wasn’t far from it. Did he know who you were?”

You nearly laugh at this because you find it absurd that he did, and that he’d been dumb enough to approach you in broad daylight. You nod and Wanda nearly loses her mind at what you say next.

“Yeah surprisingly. He said he was embarrassed by you and this was his revenge I guess.”

Wanda suddenly realizes who the man was. She hadn’t recognized him immediately because she’d mostly been too angry to think straight. However, hearing this, she realizes this must be the man she’d nearly thrown to the ground in front of his friends when she overheard him talking about you. She immediately feels guilty and opens her mouth to apologize but you shake your head sternly.

“I’m s--.”

“Wanda no. You’re not the one who has to apologize. You didn’t do this to me.”

Wanda wants to argue, but you just shake your head again with a smile as you pull your wife close. She gasps as you bring her front flush against yours with a grin before leaning in to whisper against her lips.

“You stood up for me and protected me, and I love you even more for it.”

Wanda groans as you kiss her and she sets the ice pack on the counter behind you as she reaches up to wrap her arms around your shoulders. She sighs heavily as you pull away and start to kiss her neck, and her breathy response makes you want her even more.

“I’ll always protect you, Y/n. I promise.”

You tighten your grip on your wife’s hips and she moans as you bite her neck. You take a moment to breathe and calm down before you glance at the clock behind you. It’s only 3 in the afternoon and you should probably make sure Wanda doesn’t have anything she’s late for.

“Is there anything else you need to do this afternoon?”

It takes Wanda a minute to catch her breath enough to respond, but she eventually shakes her head and claims that she’s free.

“No. All I have to do for the rest of the day is relax.”

You smile at this before nodding in agreement. You stand up straight and start to walk your wife back towards your bedroom with a smile.

“That’s good to hear because I really want to take you to bed and show you how much I appreciate you. Is that okay?”

Wanda’s already nodding before you even finish speaking and you smile as you lead her into the bedroom and close the door behind you. You spin around and push her up against the door with a sigh and resume kissing her as soon as she catches her breath. You smile at her before brushing her hair behind her ears. Despite wanting to drag Wanda into bed immediately, you want her to know that you are truly appreciative, and you love her a lot. You’re struggling with how to communicate this to her, and you don’t realize how long you take until she’s shooting you a worried look.

“Is something wrong?”

Her hand comes up to cup your cheek and you lean into her with a sigh before you shake your head. You open your eyes and meet concerned green ones with a smile. You turn so you can kiss her palm before you speak up.

“No, nothing at all. I just love you a lot and want you to know that.”

Wanda’s heart stutters in her chest at your words and she smiles widely before nodding in response.

“I do. I know you love me, and I love you too. So much.”

You smile at this and you can’t help but bring up your earlier conversation. You hate to think that your wife would even humor the idea that you’d cheat on her, that you would even want to kiss someone else. You squeeze her hips again to hold yourself back because you need to say this or else, you’ll lose your nerve.

“I need you to know I will never look elsewhere, and I never have. The thing with that doctor, it was completely against my wishes and all I could think about was you and how much I loved you. Please know that.”

Wanda suddenly feels guilty for how she reacted to Vision’s news earlier today. She’s been shocked and angered but not because she didn’t trust you. She was just too insecure to keep the idea of you wanting something like that from her mind. She remembers when you’d first gotten together; before Wanda told you about what she did with her life and how she was so afraid that you would leave her. You deserved better than to have someone you couldn’t be with publicly, who you couldn’t talk about with your friends, but somehow you’d accepted this. You’d accepted this and loved her through everything, and Wanda feels truly ashamed that she’d doubt you for even a second.

“I’m sorry I thought otherwise. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, I just--.”

When your wife looks away from you guiltily you realize what she’s trying to say. You sigh in defeat because you hate how someone as wonderful and loving as your wife sometimes has difficulty believing anyone could love her just as much. You’ve only tried to prove otherwise for years, but you had no issue continuing to do so until your last breath.

“I know, baby. Is it okay if I remind you how much you’re loved?”

Wanda takes a deep shuddering breath before she nods in agreement. She feels her entire body buzzing and she needs you to touch her, to love her and never stop, but she’s not sure how to put this into words.

“Yes, please, Y/n. I need you.”

Wanda’s plea officially ends your self-restraint and you grab the hem of your wife’s shirt with a questioning look.

“Okay. You know what to say if you want to stop?”

Wanda nods and mutters her safe word under her breath before begging you to get on with it. You stop keeping yourself from giving your wife whatever she wants, and you quickly pull her shirt over her head with a sigh. She gasps as the cold air hits her, but you don’t leave her cold long as you toss her shirt aside and pull her flush against you. You kiss her deeply as you walk the two of you back carefully towards the bed. When your legs hit the mattress, you sit down and gently bring her with you onto your lap. Wanda moans as she grinds her hips against yours and you smile as your hands run up her back teasingly before reaching her bra.

“Fuck, take it off, please.”

You merely hum in response as you undo the clasp and fling Wanda’s bra across the room not two seconds later. You groan at the sight of your wife’s bare breasts and you waste no time taking one of them into your mouth. Wanda groans as she arches her back so she’s as close to you as possible before she grinds down on your lap again. She’s soaked already and needs you to touch her soon or she’ll explode. She curses loudly when you start to tweak her other nipple and you groan against her breast when she rolls her hips into you yet again.

“Please, detka. Touch me.”

You groan as you break away from your wife to watch her pant breathlessly above you. She looks beautifully flustered and you’d love to just admire her for hours, but you know she’s not that patient. You lean in to kiss her heaving chest one more time before you drop your hands to her waist again. She shudders against your touch and merely yelps when you stand up quickly and spin her around so she’s lying on the bed. You smile at her as you stand between her spread legs and you slowly unzip her pants before leaning over to kiss her with a smile.

“God, you’re so beautiful Wands. I can’t wait to ruin you.”

Wanda just moans in response and lifts her hips up to help you remove her clothing leaving her bare and dripping in front of you. You moan at the sight and barely hold back from diving right in. However, you want to take your time to enjoy your wife and her excellent company while you have her all to yourself. You take a deep breath before stepping between her legs again and leaning over to kiss her.

“What are--?”

Wanda’s question is cut off by a moan as you kiss her neck at the same time that you press your knee between her legs. She bucks against it and lets out another cry as you rock against her while leaving bruising kisses on her neck.

“Oh fuck, Y/n.”

You smile at how needy Wanda already is, and by how wet she is against your jeans. You let her rock her hips against you for a moment before you palm her breasts and swallow her moans with a kiss. She’s barely able to kiss you back, but you don’t mind as you start a rhythm with your hands and your leg. Wanda’s face and chest are flushed and she’s arching her back to try and get closer to you, but its inadvertently pushing you away. You frown as you break your kiss and take your leg away from your wife. She whines in protest but you just kiss her gently before starting down towards her arousal that’s making you dizzy with need.

“God please, please.”

You try to soothe your wife’s pleas with a kiss to her inner thighs, but it makes her even needier for you. Her hips jerk and she nearly knees you in the face, but you just chuckle under your breath before you finally give her what she wants.

Wanda nearly screams when you taste her for the first time, and you can’t help but moan against her at the sound. She’s quick to lock your head between her legs and you have no issue with this and take the hint to hurry up. She starts to ride your face and you know she’s close, so as much as it pains you both, you push her hips down to keep her from coming too quickly. She groans in annoyance and you know what she’s about to say, so you silence her before she gets the chance to complain.

“Dammit, Y/n, just—fuck!”

Wanda’s cut off as you take her clit into your mouth and suck until she’s seeing stars. She thrashes against you but you hold her down as she comes hard and cries out into the room. You feel your own arousal grow and you keep going despite how tense Wanda becomes. You know you can push her into another one easily with how turned on she is, so you don’t waste any time as you delve back into her soaked, sensitive folds.

“Oh fuck, fuck, Y/n. I’m gonna--.”

Wanda’s vision goes white as you send her into a second stronger orgasm with just your mouth. She moans as you pull away and admire the sight of your beautifully fucked out wife. You’re not anywhere close with being done with her yet, and you groan as you consider the possibilities.

“God, I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

Wanda can only nod as she moans at the thought of you taking her hard and fast. She wants you to fuck her hard and she needs you to know this.

“Yes please, I need you inside me, please.”

You smile at how you and your wife seem to be on the same page and you quickly sink two fingers into her with a smile.

“You mean like this?”

Wanda chokes on a moan as her walls squeeze your fingers, but she shakes her head and you frown in confusion. You’re about to pull out of her when she manages to calm herself enough to speak. She takes a deep breath as she glances to the suitcases that remain unpacked in the corner.

“Not exactly. In the suitcase. T-the first one.”

You frown in confusion and you’re reluctant to leave your wife, but you soon realize what she means. You smile at her before pulling away and looking over your shoulder before returning your attention to her.

“You’re saying you want me to fuck you with the strap?”

It’s a rhetorical question because you know she does, but there’s something about having your beautiful, tough, mobster wife beg for your strap that makes you crazy. You watch as Wanda blushes prettily before nodding in response. She’s breathless and her heart’s pounding in her ears, but she barely notices with the throbbing between her legs.

“I need you to say it, love.”

You run your hands down her thighs waiting for her to say it, and when she does, you’re gone so fast she doesn’t even see you move.

“Yes, please, fuck me.”

You’re back in record time and you can’t help but moan as you return to your place between your wife’s legs with the toy strapped to your hips. You rub the tip against her wet, puffy lips and you revel in her needy whines.

“Fuck, I need you inside me, now.”

You can’t wait any longer and you grab your wife’s hips and move her up to the middle of the bed before crawling on top of her. You briefly consider making her suck your strap to get it ready, but you know she’s plenty wet enough, and too needy to wait. You lift her legs over yours and scoot under her so she’s practically in your lap. Wanda moans and arches her back to get closer to you, but you hold her still as you take a deep breath.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

When you slide into Wanda she nearly comes right then and there. Her mouth falls open but no noise comes out as you steal her breath when your hips meet hers. You moan at the sight of being deep in your wife and you buck against her hips in a way that makes her gasp in pleasure. You wait for a few moments to let her adjust, but she’s already rocking against you impatiently and muttering pleas under her breath.

You decide you’ve made her wait long enough and you start to pull back before you sink yourself in again. Wanda squeezes her eyes shut as pleasure brings tears to her eyes, and she moans when you bottom out again.

“Fuck, h-harder. Please.”

You hear your wife’s desperate plea and you don’t need to be told again to start moving. You hold onto her hips tightly as you start to thrust into her at a hard, steady pace. The sound of Wanda’s moans make you shudder in pleasure and you close your eyes to hold off your own orgasm that is threatening to overwhelm you. You move your wife’s legs from your sides and throw them over your shoulders to get a better angle, and she nearly screams as you start fucking into her deeper.

“O-oh god, Daddy!”

Wanda’s too overwhelmed by you sliding against her g spot with each thrust to be embarrassed by what she let slip. You’re too focused on making her come to acknowledge how that title makes you even hotter for your wife. It was no secret that you were usually the one to take charge in bed, and occasionally when things are rougher, more heated like they were now you and Wanda have experimented with things such as this. You were still too embarrassed to bring it up outside of the bedroom, but hearing it now makes you near feral.

You moan as you throw your hips against your wife’s harder and she responds with a guttural moan.

“You like it when Daddy fucks you like this, baby girl?”

You move your hands down Wanda’s legs feeling them shudder beneath your touch before your fingers start to circle her clit. She screams as you push her over the edge into another mind-numbing orgasm.

“Yes! Fuck, I’m coming!”

You feel your wife fall apart beneath you as her entire body shudders in pleasure. You try to keep thrusting but she’s clenching too tight so you settle on just staying buried in her. The sight of your wife with her head thrown back and her body trembling beneath you makes you come right after her. You groan under your breath as you grind your hips against hers.

“Fuck, fuck!”

You ride out your orgasm before you realize that Wanda’s rocking against you again. You open your eyes and see her looking at you with pupils blown wide with lust and you know that whatever comes out of her mouth next, you’ll agree to readily.

“One more? Please, I need you,”

You pull out of her quickly ignoring her whine as you remove her legs from your shoulders and lean over to kiss her deeply. You moan as she bites your lips and you know what she’s doing, but you give in anyway. You love your wife too much to refuse her, brattiness and all.

“On your knees, baby.”

You watch as Wanda sits up and shakily gets to her knees. You hold her by the hips to steady her as she turns away from you and drops onto her hands and knees. You groan at the sight of her spread out before you and can’t help but run your hands down her legs to squeeze her ass. She moans and you can’t help but moan too when she drops to her elbows and offers herself up to you like this. You run your fingers through her folds making her rock back against you with a breathy curse and you hurry to fill her up again.

“Fuck baby. You’re so gorgeous. My pretty girl.”

Wanda just moans as you push into her again, the new angle making her buck her hips hard against you. She can feel the head of the strap rubbing against her sensitive spot and she knows she won’t last long like this. Luckily you seem to realize this and you don’t waste any time building her up again. She’s glad she’s already on her elbows because her arms start to shake as you slam your hips against her ass.

“God, you feel s-so good.”

Wanda’s near delirious as she lets you fuck her from behind. Her mouth’s hanging open but the only sounds coming out are an occasional gasp or pleas for more, harder. You comply as always and Wanda’s close to coming when you stop short to pull her up. She doesn’t get a chance to complain when you pull her to your chest and continue thrusting up into her. She stiffens against you and you know she’s close to her limit by how incoherent her pleas are. She begs for more, and you give it to her without hesitation. Your thrusts are near bruising and your hand sneaks around to rub her clit to send her over the edge.

“Shit, I’m--.”

Wanda’s cut off by her last orgasm and she’s shaking hard as she comes against you. Her head’s thrown back and she’s leaning so heavily into you that you’re supporting most of her weight. You stop thrusting and your hand falls from between her legs when her breath starts to hitch from oversensitivity. You stay still as you let your wife come down from her high, and you just kiss her neck and hold her close to you until she catches her breath.

“I love you, Wanda.”

Wanda sighs as she nods in agreement before she finds her voice. She’s hoarse and she’d be more embarrassed if she weren’t so sated and sleepy.

“Love you too, detka.”

You feel Wanda become even more limp against you and you start to move before she can fall asleep. She hisses slightly as you shift her off your strap but you hold her close as you adjust her in your arms.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, babe. Let’s get you in the bath.”

Wanda doesn’t respond beyond a hum of acknowledgement and you feel slightly guilty about how blissed out she is. Usually, it doesn’t take her this long to recover, but she’s been stressed and really needed this release, or four. She’s not complaining as you walk into the bathroom and start the water to fill the tub. You manage to take off and discard the toy with your wife in your arms and you carefully set her in the tub once it’s filled most of the way. Wanda hisses at the feeling of the hot water against her skin, but she immediately relaxes as the smell of the soap you added fills her senses.

She hums as you shut the door, stop the water and climb in with her. She’s still listing slightly so you want to make sure you hold her up and keep her head above water. You kiss the side of her head and wrap your arms around her gently.

“Hmm, thank you, detka.”

Wanda finally opens her eyes and kisses your cheek before lying back against you. She shifts slightly so her legs are to her chest and she’s turned more towards you. You nod before reaching for a wash cloth to dab some of the sweat from your wife’s forehead.

“Of course, love. I needed a bath anyway.”

Wanda lets out a breathy laugh at this as she slaps you playfully before leaning away from you slightly. She takes a moment to really look at you, and she reaches up to run her fingers over your injured cheek carefully.

“I mean all of it, Y/n. I’m glad to finally be spending time with you uninterrupted.”

You nod in agreement because it has seemed like too long since you have had the privacy to be together, doing whatever it is you wanted to be doing. You kiss your wife with a small smile before shifting so you can lean against the tub. You feel your eyelids growing heavy, but you fight the urge to sleep as you turn you attention back to your wife.

“Me too. I’m sorry things are so complicated right now.”

Wanda frowns at your apology because she’s not quite sure why you’re giving it. You’ve had nothing to do with this and she wants to make sure you know that. She sees you drifting off and she berates herself for not realizing or rather remembering how exhausted you are. She reaches out for you again and kisses you with a shake of her head.

“You don’t have to apologize. None of this is your fault, okay?”

Even after your discussion with Bucky, you don’t quite believe this but you don’t have the energy to argue with your wife right now. You stifle a yawn as you close your eyes and rest your head against Wanda’s shoulder. Time passes too quickly and you and Wanda are getting out of the tub before you know it. You’re drying off while she disappeared into the bedroom to clean a little and she returns with some clothes for you. You smile gratefully before putting them on quickly and heading back into the bedroom with Wanda on your heels.

“Come on, we still have some time before dinner.”

Wanda doesn’t argue and follows you into bed with a nod. She’s not really sure what’s happening for dinner since neither of you cooked, but she’d worry about that after a nap. She knows you’re about to collapse and she wants you to rest so she lies down next to you without protest. You groan at the feeling of your head hitting the pillow and despite cleaning you can smell Wanda’s perfume on it and you love it.

“Why are you so far away?”

Wanda laughs before rolling her eyes and scooting closer to you. She sighs happily as you wrap your arms around her waist and rest your head against her shoulder. You’re asleep in minutes and Wanda just stays up and watches as you sleep soundly beside her. She sighs before shifting a little so she can grab her phone. She sees a couple of texts from Pietro and one from Nat and Bucky, but she doesn’t answer them right now. She wants to enjoy being with you without having to worry about anything that happened today, this week even. Wanda sighs again before she closes her eyes and follows you into sleep.

Wanda wakes up a couple of hours later to the sound of her phone going off. She’s disoriented and half-awake when she answers it so she doesn’t bother to check and see who it is. She regrets this quickly when she realizes who’s on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

“Hey Wands open up, we’re here for dinner.”

Her brother’s voice woke her up quickly and she’s carefully extracting herself from you and getting out of bed. She looks to the clock and sees that it’s 6pm and she curses as she grabs clothes to throw on as she asks the obvious question.

“Who’s here for dinner?”

The sound of knocking coming from outside makes Wanda groan and she hangs up before she finishes dressing and runs outside. Boone is waiting at the door pawing at it as her brother continues to knock. She runs a hand through her hair haphazardly before opening the door to see nearly her entire friend group on the other side.

“Oh hey, what’s-?”

Wanda’s cut off as her brother pulls her into a hug and pushes her out of the doorway so everyone else can come in. She’s about to protest, but Pietro cuts her off with a confused look.

“Where’s Y/n? We figured we’d make you guys dinner since things have been a little---.”

“Shitty?”

“Fucked up?”

This comes from Yelena and Bucky who set down their bags in the kitchen. They too look around for Y/n and Wanda is quick to let them know you are sleeping. She’s still waking up and a little caught off guard, but she won’t complain about people cooking for her.

“That’s sweet of you, she’s sleeping. She was really tired after lunch and everything.”

Pietro pulls away with a nod and is about to agree with her when he spots something that makes him smile widely. Wanda doesn’t understand what’s so funny until her brother reaches out for her and flicks some of her hair over her shoulder.

“Ahh, I bet she was.”

Wanda’s eyes widen and she covers her apparent hickey with her hair and shoots her brother a glare. Of course, Nat and Steve were still close enough to hear this and Nat smirks while Steve looks slightly uncomfortable. Wanda isn’t in the mood or nearly drunk enough to talk about her sex life with her brother, so she promptly changes the subject as she pushes her brother towards the kitchen. Speaking of drinking.

“That’s not what I’m talking about Pietro. She’s stressed and I think she’s blaming herself for everything that’s happening.”

Pietro immediately frowns and Nat’s smirk is replaced by a concerned look as they all arrive to the kitchen. Boone’s quick to follow and he goes to Yelena who is the most likely to feed him. She’s too distracted by what Wanda said, a little lost in the conversation while Bucky’s reminded of what you said earlier. He doesn’t bring it up because he doesn’t want to betray your trust or put you on the spot, so he just waits to see how others respond.

Pietro responds first and shakes his head in confusion. As far as he knows, whoever is after Y/n is just vindictive and trying to get to Wanda. She didn’t do anything to provoke them, right?

“Why would she feel guilty, she hasn’t done anything.”

Nat nods in agreement as she moves around the counter to help her sister unpack the groceries. She stops short as she notices the icepack that Wanda hadn’t gotten around to putting up, as well as the bloody washcloth she’d used for you face. Her face darkens as she picks it up and Wanda notices as she gestures to the redhead who just tosses the washcloth and puts the icepack back in the freezer.

“Then that happened! That fucker. I swear I don’t know how I’ll convince her that this place is safest for her now.”

Everyone’s mind goes to the same thing. They’d all heard about the incident because Bucky had enlisted Steve’s help to deal with the blonde, Clark, and Nat had gotten her sister to help with his dumb friends. Pietro figured out last but he’d been the most upset. He’d wanted to see the blonde to punch him in the face, but Bucky said he wanted to wait until Wanda was free to see what she wanted to do. He’d already cut off his finger that’d had the ring that sliced open your face. He was left downstairs in one of the basement rooms that no one else had access to.

“God, I can’t believe that happened, that little shit.”

“I shouldn’t have left her alone.”

Wanda sighs as she shakes her head at what Bucky said. She would admit that she was angry about him leaving her wife alone, but honestly it wasn’t his fault. It sounded like this dumbass was just waiting until Y/n was alone, and it was going to happen sooner rather than later. She was just, oddly enough, glad that she’d been able to put a stop to it fairly quickly. Not before you got hurt, but she knew you were tough and you were more angry than shaken up which she took as a good sign.

“The only one to blame is the person who hurt her. Did you...?”

Wanda trails off because she’s certain Bucky will know what she’s getting at, and he does. He shakes his head before mentioning where the blonde is.

“No. I saved the honors for you.”

“Something for dessert.”

Wanda smiles at Bucky and rolls her eyes at what Yelena says, but she doesn’t argue. She’ll think about him later, but right now she’s thirsty, really thirsty.

She starts to head toward the fridge to get drinks for everyone, but Nat reaches out for her with a smile.

“Hey, why don’t you sit down? I can take care of the drinks.”

Wanda’s about to argue, but she eventually just caves because she is still pretty tired. She nods in admission before she goes to sit at the counter. Not two seconds later there’s a knock on the door, and Wanda makes to get up and answer it, but Yelena rushes out of the kitchen to do it. She waves Wanda off before saying something about a surprise.

Pietro walks into the kitchen to help and Wanda just watches as Yelena opens the door to reveal Kate standing there with a smile. They greet each other with a kiss and Wanda ‘awws’ at this and makes Yelena shoot her a warning look.

“Watch it Ms. Hickey or you won’t get your surprise.”

Wanda glares at her, but once she spots what Kate is holding her eyes widen. She smiles widely and jumps out of her seat at the sound of her cat meowing. She had left Fletcher because she hated the car and Steve had promised to feed her. That was before they were staying for more than a few days though, but Wanda would admit that she’d forgotten about the cat with everything else going on. Kate opens the carrier and Fletcher comes rushing out.

“Fletcher, come here honey.”

The cat meows loudly, angrily at her before jumping into her open arms. Wanda smiles and cuddles her cat before turning to Kate who is still is a little caught off guard by her girlfriend’s hickey comment. When Wanda turns to her however, she sees it and does her best to ignore it as she just nods in response to what the redhead says.

"Thank you for bringing her, Kate.”

She insists it wasn’t a problem before setting Fletcher’s things down on a nearby table. Wanda snuggles with her cat for a few moments longer before she lets Fletcher loose to explore familiar territory. Boone greets her immediately with a submissive lick to her face and she smiles as Fletcher just rolls over on her back and bats at the dog’s nose.

“They’re so cute.”

Wanda nods in agreement before she leads Kate to the kitchen and takes the drink that Nat offers her with a grateful smile. She’s handed water and her drink of choice and it takes a lot of willpower to not blush under Nat’s knowing look. Honestly, she’s just glad that her family wasn’t waiting outside their door earlier. They would have gotten an earful for sure.

“Congratulations by the way! Sorry I didn’t say it before.”

Kate’s sitting at the counter next to Wanda since there are already so many cooks in the kitchen. Wanda’s on her third glass of water, and only her first gin and tonic, but she’s certain she’ll have more by the end of the night. She turns to Kate with a smile, trying to ignore her brother’s look as she shakes her head in response.

“Thanks, Kate, and don’t worry about it. We’re both really excited.”

Kate opens her mouth to respond but Pietro beats her to it with a knowing smirk. He really is just trying to get slapped tonight. Dinner’s almost ready, and it does occur to Wanda that she should check on you to make sure you’re not hungry. She also does not want you coming out in the clothes you went to sleep in because you didn’t know everyone was here. She shakes those thoughts from her head as she turns to her brother.

“So excited, they’ve already started to try to have another.”

Wanda shoots her brother a glare that makes him happy that he’s on the other side of the counter out of reach. He winces slightly at the smack on the back of the head that he gets from Nat after a look from Wanda and the redhead smiles gratefully.

“You’re not going to shame me, Pietro. You’re the one who told me to relax, practically demanded it actually.”

Pietro turns to Nat with a frown and she just smiles at him before returning to her last-minute touches on the salad.

“Yeah, fuck off. Like you didn’t also have sex last night on your date with what was her name again?”

Pietro turns red as he just shakes his head and claims yet again that it was casual. They all laugh at him and dinner’s finished up as well as Wanda’s drink in the next few minutes. She was at least allowed to set the table and after batting Fletcher off of it yet again, she decides to go check on you. She excused herself before disappearing into the bedroom. The lights are still off so she’s sure you’re asleep, but then she realizes you’re not in the bed.

“Y/n?”

She notices the bathroom door is open and she heads that way and calls out for you again. When you don’t respond she pushes the door open and she feels her heart skip a beat when she sees you lying on the floor.

“Y/n?!”

She kneels down next to you as you groan in pain and shake your head. You try to sit up but she stops you with a hand on your forehead. She’s about to call out to someone, but you grab her hand and open your eyes with another groan.

“I’m sorry, I’m okay. I just felt nauseous and then I got sick and just laid here for a while.”

Wanda frowns at this and she opens her mouth to ask you what happened, but then she remembered. You’re pregnant. Almost two months pregnant. It’s a wonder you hadn’t gotten sick earlier, or maybe you had. She’s not sure, but she doesn’t dwell on it now as she grabs your shoulders and helps you into a sitting position. You close your eyes again because the motion makes you nauseous and you try to push down the urge to throw up again when Wanda speaks up.

“I’m sorry you’re feeling poorly. We probably shouldn’t have…you probably should have just rested.”

You open your eyes when your wife says this and you immediately shake your head with a small smile. You squeeze her hand and you’re about to kiss it but you decide against it once you remember that you’ve been throwing up.

“Definitely not. It was exactly what I needed after the 72 hours I’ve had.”

Wanda just nods as she inspects the cut on your check more carefully. It’s started to bruise and swell a bit, and Wanda’s reminded yet again of the man who’s waiting in the basement for her punishment. She wasn’t 100% sure of what she was going to do with him, and she knew she wanted to tell you about it, but not right now. You had so much going on it wasn’t fair to burden you with that as well.

“I’m sorry, detka. I’m working of figuring this out, I promise.”

You shake your head because you hadn’t meant what you said to sound accusatory. It wasn’t Wanda’s fault and she didn’t deserve to feel guilty.

“That’s not what I meant, Wands. I just—I’m glad to be here with you now.”

Wanda nods in agreement before she leans in to kiss your forehead. You smile at her and look her over and immediately notice the mark you’ve left on her neck. You’re surprised she hasn’t covered it yet, but then again you didn’t realize she was woken up and called upon rather suddenly.

“You should probably cover this before your brother sees it.”

Wanda laughs at this before she shakes her head in defeat. She hadn’t even remembered it when she jumped out of bed, and of course her brother was the first one she saw.

“Too late. He and the rest of the family are here. They made us dinner.”

You seem surprised by this and you look to the door before you start to stand. Wanda’s there to help you up and then hold you steady when you double over from nausea once you’re on your feet. You groan again before rubbing your face in exhaustion. You hiss when you hit your bruised cheek and Wanda shoots you a sympathetic look.

“They’re here now? I should go out there.”

Wanda knows you’d love to see them all but she doesn’t want you to push yourself. You’re sick and you’re still recovering from being poisoned. She doesn’t want you to go beyond your limits. She realizes she sounds hypocritical as soon as she speaks up.

“Don’t you think you should rest??”

You frown as you think about it. You know your wife is right, but you want to try and see your friends. You decide you’ll give it a try, and just see how it goes. You say this and Wanda nods in agreement as she heads to your bedroom to turn on the lights. She agrees to get ready with you and see how you feel. After she applies make up to her hickey, and you brush your teeth a couple of times and change clothes, you’re ready to give it a go. You reach out for your wife’s hand and kiss her in thanks before opening the door.

“Shall we?”

By the time the two of you are back in the dining room, everyone is standing around the table waiting for you. You smile immediately and greet everyone with a hug. You hold Yelena a little longer since she complains so much but you see her smile as you move to Nat. When you have your arms wrapped around her you sigh and turn to whisper in her ear.

“Thank you for earlier, Nat.”

She’s nodding before you even pull away and you don’t miss how she glances at your cheek with a frown before managing a small smile. You really are grateful for her and you have to hold yourself back from hugging her again.

“Anytime.”

You thank Bucky as well and he says something similar before you all sit down for dinner. You’re still exhausted but you’re still smiling as you sit down next to your wife. She and Pietro are at the heads of the table and Nat’s on your other side with Yelena across from you. The food smells great, but you really don’t have much of an appetite. Regardless you fill your plate because you don’t want to be rude and you’re sure at least a little will help settle your stomach.

You’re about to take a sip of your water when Fletcher jumps up onto your lap and you jump in surprise. You let her head boop you before you scratch her under the chin and set her on the ground.

“Fletcher, when did you get here?”

You smile at the cat who meows at you before heading toward your wife. She’s more likely to let her up on the table, but not when there’s already food on it and so many people here.

“Kate brought her.”

You smile at the brunette who just nods slightly before shrugging and insisting it was nothing. You know it wasn’t and you’re grateful for her taking the time to bring your wife’s favorite pet. You love Boone enough for the both of you, but Fletcher is Wanda’s baby and you know she missed her.

“Thanks, Kate. Wanda loves that troublemaker. Don’t forget to lock the windows.”

Wanda groans at this reminder and Nat can’t help but laugh at the memory of what happened. Pietro is of course the first one to speak up and he smiles as her teasingly.

“Are you talking about that time she got out the window and started scaling the building?”

Wanda just groans in answer and you laugh as Kate looks horrified by the idea. She was the only one not aware of what happened because Wanda had practically called everyone in a panic. She’d called you while you were at work because she couldn’t find her, and then as she’d started looking around, she realized the window was open.

“God that was awful.”

“I thought you were going to fall out the window trying to lure her back in.”

You recall driving home from work to find Wanda was almost outside the window trying to get Fletcher from one of the lower landings. Of course, Fletcher wasn’t in the mood to come back inside and she just sat there ignoring Wanda who was growing more frantic by the second. You’d sent Bucky to make sure she didn’t fall to her death only for him to find that Nat and Steve were already there trying to catch Fletcher from below. It had been a hot mess and Fletcher had been confined to the bedroom for a week afterwards.

Steve just grimaced as Nat smiles and nodded her head. “She’s already scoped them out. We made sure they were all locked.”

You shoot Nat a grateful look before you turn to Yelena who you assume is the one who kicked you under the table. However, she’s looking at her food and eating it diligently so you ignore her for now. You turn to Steve when he speaks with a genuinely concerned look.

“So, Y/n, how are you feeling?”

You smile because you’d been waiting for this question, but you’d expected it a lot sooner. You are almost certain that everyone knows about what happened this afternoon, but you don’t want to dwell on it. You still need to check base with Wanda and see what she plans on doing with the younger man.

You sit up slightly with a smile as you look to Steve with a shrug and a sheepish expression.

“I’m a little nauseous from evening sickness, but otherwise I’m just glad to be able to see everyone again.”

This is true and you can’t help but smile as you turn to your wife and grab her hand before turning back to your friends.

“It’s not ideal of course. None of it, but it did get me back here sooner than I expected.”

The rest of dinner goes well and you actually manage to eat some before it gets to be past Boone’s walk time. He’s pawing at you and you know what he wants, but you tell him to wait for a little while longer while you bid your friends goodbye.

“Thank you so much for coming over, guys! I was not looking forward to eating whatever’s still left in this pantry.”

As you were hugging Yelena goodbye despite her protests, she whispered a question to you that your wife could clearly hear from where she was standing beside you hugging Nat.

“Hey, so do you have any more weed with you?”

You laugh in answer and that’s all you get a chance to say before Wanda’s turning to Yelena with a glare. She does not want you smoking, or even around anyone smoking while you’re pregnant, and given you already knew this you just shake your head. You didn’t bring any with you from home, but you had some stashed in the closet unless Wanda found it and tossed it.

“No, nope. You’re not doing that any time soon, at least not with Y/n.”

You smile sheepishly at Yelena as she grumbles something under her breath, but lets it go for now. She turns to Wanda with a look that says ‘you’re no fun,’ but your wife shoots one back that you’ve learned means ‘test me, I dare you,” and it’s safe to say that you rarely take her up on her challenge.

“Is it time for dessert, boss?”

You look to her and then Wanda in confusion. You’ve clearly missed something because you all just finished dessert. Some ate more than others. You ate more than others, so you weren’t sure what Yelena was talking about. You see Nat expression’s change as she looks to Wanda who’s nodding in acknowledgement, she needs to get this done. Suddenly you realize what she’s talking about and you aren’t really sure what you want her to do anymore.

“I’ll meet you down there in a few minutes.”

Yelena nods and waves to you again before she leaves with Nat who shoots you a smile. You’re frowning when your wife turns to you and she’s a little nervous about how you’re going to react.

“What are you going to do, Wanda?”

You watch as she closes the door with a sigh as she shakes her head. She hasn’t thought about it much and despite still being angry, furious at him for daring to go after you – to hurt you, she’s not sure she wants to kill him anymore. You see her thinking and you want to have this conversation sitting down because you’re tired again, so you grab your wife’s hand and lead her to the bedroom.

“I’m not sure, Y/n.”

“Well let’s talk about it, but I need to sit down, come on.”

Wanda’s quick to follow you, but Boone stays at the front door waiting to be let out. You’ll get to him in a second, but for now you need to figure out how your wife is spending her night. You sit down on the bed with a yawn and you stretch your arms above you head. You’re eternally grateful that your friends did the dishes because you barely have the energy to stand for too long. You wait until Wanda settles beside you on the bed before opening your eyes again. You can tell she’s a little on edge, and you don’t know how to make her feel better.

“What is on your mind, Wands. Talk to me wifey.”

Wanda smiles at you before she takes a moment to think about it. She’d been horrified when she saw someone get smacked right in front of her. Someone who was surrounded by three men. The moment she realized it was you, she grew murderous and grabbed her gun without thinking. She stormed over and all she could see was red as she watched him try to hit you again. When she saw you bleeding, she had wanted to hit him across the face and make him bleed too, but she hadn’t.

Now that time’s past she’s still angry, and she wants to make him pay. However, she realizes that this might be an opportunity to try and learn more about what the hell is going on. She figures that it won’t hurt to see if he knows anything about who’s after you, and if he doesn’t –and depending on how helpful he is, she’ll decide what to do with him at that point.

She says this to you and you frown in contemplation before you lie back on the bed with a sigh. You stare up at the ceiling and try to figure out how you feel about all of this. You’ve never been directly involved in any of Wanda’s crimes or otherwise shady activities, and the magnitude of a decision like this just hit you. You don’t want this douche to see the light of day again, but do you want him tortured and then killed?

Eventually you just reach out for your wife who’s watching you carefully. You pull her down next to you and she complies with a sigh as she lies down to face you. You brush some of her hair behind her ear with a smile as you shake your head. You stifle another yawn before smiling at Wanda in a way that confuses her more than anything else.

“I trust you Wands, you know this. You do what you think is right.”

Wanda smiles wider and leans in to kiss you softly before she nods to herself. She’ll squeeze as much information from him as she can, and if she has to hurt him a little that’s just a bonus. She’s about to thank you before you shoot her a smirk as you shrug in faux disinterest.

“And if you want to hit him for me, I won’t complain about it.”

You stand up with another yawn before deciding to change into more comfortable clothes. Wanda’s looking at you as you pull your shirt over your head and you pretend not to notice as you walk over to the closet before remembering that there are no clothes in there. You turn around and look to the suitcases that are opened, but still unpacked with a sigh.

“I’ll work on this, love. Do you need to change?”

Wanda hadn’t thought about this but as she looked down to what she was wearing she nodded. She jumped up and started to walk towards you to find an outfit but you stopped her as you held up your hand.

“Nu uh, hold on. I’ll pick something for you.”

You take a moment to look your wife up and down and you hum in contemplation before turning back around the suitcases to find options. Wanda decided to get ready and she takes off her shirt and the jeans she’d thrown on before waiting patiently for you to make your choice.

You find one of your favorite outfits on Wanda and then you imagine blood getting on it and you set it aside. You don’t even realize that Wanda’s undressed until she’s kneeling behind you and leaning in to look over your shoulder. You stop momentarily when you feel Wanda’s bare skin against yours, and you take a deep breath before forcing yourself to refocus.

“Would you like some help choosing?”

You consider taking her up on this, but you shake your head with a smile. You turn to kiss her to lessen the blow of rejection, but you can tell she doesn’t mind as her lips meet yours. You take a moment to kiss her thoroughly before it comes to you. You pull away rather suddenly and Wanda frowns in confusion until she watches you grab a deep red button up and practically throw it at her.

“This one. I’ll get the rest of the suit, oh and I’ll find you shoes!”

Wanda can’t help but laugh at you. Despite the fact that you are dressing her for an interrogation/torture-session/killing, she can’t help but love seeing you so excited. It’s not a date, and you won’t be going with her, but she still likes dressing up for you.

Wanda stands up and just finishes putting on her shirt when you come up behind her and slip on her jacket. You hum under your breath in satisfaction as you pull her hair out of the way before kissing her behind her ear. You groan at the effort it takes to step away from her and simply hand her the rest of her clothes so she can get ready.

“You look like such a badass, babe. Hurry back, okay?”

When Wanda puts on her shoes, she’s at your eyelevel and she kisses you before slipping a finger under your bra strap which reminded you that you weren’t wearing a shirt.

“If you’ll be waiting for me like this, I won’t take any time at all.”

You smile at her before you lead your wife to the door. The sooner she leaves, the sooner she can come back. You say this and she laughs before kissing you one last time and taking her leave. You sigh when she’s gone and it’s just you, Boone, and Fletcher. You’re not sure where the latter is, but Boone is pawing at you as he whines to go outside. You apologize to him before running to throw on a t-shirt and a sweatshirt before grabbing your shoes and phone.

“I know, buddy I’m sorry. Let’s go for a walk.”

Wanda’s journey down to the basement seems like a foreign one. She hadn’t been down here in months, and she barely remembers what it felt like to walk these halls. A lot of unsavory, illegal, and cruel things happened down here and she was aware of, if not the reason, for many of them. At least she had been when she was in charge, but she honestly still felt responsible.

She was at least able to take comfort in the fact that it took a lot to get down to this level of the building. She had the standard three strikes rule before you ended up down here, and by the time they arrived to this point, they didn’t last long.

Granted tonight was a little different for multiple reasons. For one, Clark, was only on strike two so he was a little early to the party on that front. However, given his offenses and who they involved, Wanda was being lenient in hearing him out instead of simply executing him on sight. Secondly, Clark had been with her for over a year. Most people she brought down here were newbies that were rebellious because they had their own agendas, or they just didn’t want to listen to a woman. It was rare that someone who wasn’t going to work, didn’t prove it a little sooner than Clark had.

For this reason, she wanted to take the time to talk to him and see what his deal was. She suspected he was just an egotistical sore loser who just acted out in the worst possible way, but there was always a small chance that he could help her.

Wanda decided that she wasn’t going to hold her breath, and she was only going to give him an hour of her time. She had more important things to be doing, and she wouldn’t waste her time with him when she could be back upstairs spending time with you. In whatever capacity. She smiles slightly as she runs her hands down her jacket to smooth out any wrinkles before she arrives to her destination.

“Did you start without me?”

Wanda walks into the room to find that it’s full and it’s clear to her that at least Yelena and Bucky have had their turns with the blonde in the middle of the room. He’s tied to a chair by both his wrists and his ankles. His face is bloody from where he’d been hit and his nose looked broken unless it was normally crooked and Wanda just missed it in their previous encounters. Lastly, she noticed a stream of blood from his right hand but she paid this little mind for now.

Yelena speaks up first as she shoots the pathetic blonde a glare. “I was just introducing myself, but he’s all yours, boss.”

Wanda briefly glances at the table on the left side of the room. It’s up against the wall and it has an assortment of things that she might find useful later tonight. She is mostly interested in the gun since she neglected to bring her own. She looks to Yelena and then Nat before eying Bucky and Steve from where they stand behind Clark.

“Thank you. If you wouldn’t mind giving me some privacy so I can talk with Clark.”

Nat and Yelena don’t even take a step before they hear Clark speak up, and they turn just in time to see him spit out blood at Wanda’s feet.

“I have nothing to say to you, bitch.”

No one moves as they watch the redhead for her response. Clark seems to be the only one who doesn’t realize the severity of Wanda’s simple smile and her slight head tilt as she eyes the younger man curiously.

“We’ll see about that.”

Part 7

[skywalker-swift]

please elaborate on so long london re: feyre!

okay friend (also I’m toasted so apologies if this is rambly and incoherent:) ) sorry people, second book spoilers!!! Also I haven’t started the third book (I’m on feyre’s first chapter so pls no spoilers!!) read more cause this got long lol)

I just really think so long London feels like Feyre’s feelings toward tamlin in the middle - almost the end of the second book, just before she finds about him working with the king! Maybe even up until she finds out how deep tamlin was in with that fucker? So much of it hits similar points in the song!

Like the first verse, the fairy lights remind me of Feyre seeing Rhys and secretly liking him despite her better feelings, but she stayed with tamlin, she loved him. Part of her was convinced that they were gonna figure it out but he just didn’t listen, he didn’t understand her. Not anymore, not after under the mountain, and she bares the weight of that, for everything she did to get him back, she can’t give up? She was willing to play the role. They both stopped trying but how much sad did Feyre have? She was so depressed, she was just withered away.

Second verse, She does feel jealous of Ianthe, and I think the ease of her and tamlin’s friendship, the ability to play into their assigned roles. Which Feyre was having such a hard time with, rightfully so!!!!!! She’s not that girl anymore, she could have been but Feyre isn’t human anymore. She feelsso so so guilty!! Also: I left all I knew, YOU LEFT ME AT THE HOUSE BY THE HEATH!!!! He trapped her, left her alone, and she couldn’t be with him anymore because of it.

Two graves one gun is when she swears she gonna kill him because if he had just let her go they would better for it. Also she will find someone!!!!

I think the bridge is her at the end when he still doesn’t get it, he sends Lucien after her, he breaks her heart and her faith in him over and over again. She would have stayed, she was willing to play her role, to be the wife, if it meant being with him but he pushed her too far!! JUST HOW LOW WOULD SHE GO BEFORE SHE’D IMPLODED THEIR LIVES TO BE FREE!!! I can’t remember if she begged Rhys to come get her but she had to run!! To be free of tamlin!

I think these lines really sum up the later half of the book as she’s looking on her relationship with tamlin. She loved him, she would have married him (he pushed her too fast, too hard, she was in none of her own wedding, ianthe 😑 so like she did kinda beg to get out of it lol) but tamlin was too protective too controlling it was hurting her. She realized that now! When she realizes how much she’s come back to like, when her face looks fuller, she laughs for Rhys, she feels so powerful. But she did love the spring court (when she was human) and for a little bit she’s mad that lost that because of tamlin’s fears, his bluest days.

And the outro is just her accepting it all, tamlin will maybe find someone, (remember there’s a time frame for these feelings, after she leaves but before they go to Hybern) but it’s not her, it was a moment of warm sun. They tried, it just wasn’t for them.

Then the moment Feyre finds out how tamlin betrays her and the court of dreamers, he becomes the smallest man who ever lived.

LOL that was long - I’ve been thinking about it this whole book - sorry again if this doesn’t make sense!! I might be projecting a bit !I feel like tamlin plays parts of the muse J (so long london, parts of fortnight, parts of fresh out the slammer, parts of guilty as sin, how did it end) and parts of muse R (the smallest man who ever lived, some of the alchemy, I can fix him, etc.) in the narratives of these songs. Rhys plays some of the other parts of Muse R (parts of the escapism, him helping free her, guilty as sin, fresh out the slammer) and Muse T (the alchemy, so high school)

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[sylvies-chen]

Brettsey please “so not to be rude or anything but i’ve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and i’ve always been alone up until now seriously what the hell” au

Ok anon I REALLY have to apologize because this request has been sitting in my inbox for probably a month or two now but I didn’t get the inspo to finish this until last night. That being said, I got this into a short little oneshot so I hope you enjoy!!

Tags: alternate universe, grief, mourning, light emotional hurt/comfort, meet cute

Word count: 2922

183 days.

It’s been 183 days since Sylvie last visited Julie. 183 days thinking about how things should have been different. How Julie was supposed to survive, how her and Scott and Amelia were supposed to be a family. How Sylvie was supposed to reconnect with her, to finally know the woman who had given Sylvie her own life’s blood.

She was supposed to have more time.

Instead, Sylvie ends up feeling like more of a stranger to Julie than ever. The last time she visited was the funeral, and that hadn’t done much for her in terms of closure. If anything, it made her feel more out of place. Random strangers came up to her, asking how she knew Julie. Sylvie can still remember the confused looks on their face as she’d told them Julie was her birth mother who had given her up at sixteen years old, and the awkward condolences that came stuttering out of their mouths afterwards. She’d felt too guilty eventually, and left early. Who the hell was she anyway, to be tainting everyone’s view of her birth mother at her own funeral?

She hasn’t been to visit Julie’s grave ever since. All Sylvie had done was stay with parents for a few days to clear her head. A few days turned into a few weeks, and then a few months. Today marks month six of her stay there. Her parents had told her they’d be happy to have her. They hadn’t been receptive to the idea of Sylvie meeting Julie in the first place, so they were more than willing to help her through the loss. The only condition was that she had to go to therapy and work through her grief, which Sylvie happily agreed to. But last week, her therapist suggested she visit Julie’s grave to get ‘true closure’, whatever that means. It’s a strange idea to Sylvie but nothing else seems to be working. Her boss had assured her that Fowlerton was much too peaceful (the polite way of calling the town boring, and rightfully so) and it would do just fine without its favourite paramedic for a few days. So, reluctantly, she accepted.

That’s why Sylvie’s now halfway through an hour-long drive to Chicago, all the way back to the cemetery. She buys hydrangeas at a tiny flower shop she passes by when she first enters Chicago territory. They’re Julie’s favourite. They were Julie’s favourite

Her fingers anxiously tap at the wheel when she finally pulls into the cemetery. It’s a dreary Sunday, grey clouds hovering in the sky bringing the prominent threat of rain. The graveyard is empty when she gets there, from the looks of it, except for one single person. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see a man around her age sitting on a bench near a grave, his eyes observing her curiously from over his shoulder. He’s not someone she knows-- she doesn’t really know many people here in Chicago after all-- but she ignores his lingering eyes. Shades of grey stick out against the field of green and wilted flowers are scattered across other tombstones. It feels like a ghost town, for lack of a better term. It’s gloomy and it looks like no one’s visited this place in a while. Even for a cemetery, the sight is a depressing one.

Sylvie slams her car door shut and takes a deep breath. Relax, she thinks. Just a quick drop by to see her, place the flowers, and then leave. You can get through this.

She makes a beeline towards Julie’s grave, less than 100 feet away, and stops dead in her tracks when she gets there. Her feet feel heavy in her pink rain boots, sticking out like a sore thumb against her black coat as she observes the tombstone.

Julie Walters

Loving wife and daughter

1973 - 2019

Sylvie doesn’t know how to feel reading those words. A whole life, one she only scratched the surface of, reduced to a mere four words and eight numbers. It’s underwhelming, and she doesn’t know whether to feel relieved that Julie’s entire being wasn’t etched onto stone or insulted that they could summarize her in so few words.

Maybe it’s for the best. What else would they put on there anyway: that she was a flawed human who left behind a child who she wasn’t ready to have, only to die before she could see her second daughter years later when she was finally ready for one? When she was finally ready to reconcile with her first born? Yeah, it was definitely for the best.

She places the bouquet of hydrangeas on the wet grass next to the tombstone and stands back. Man, this is harder than she thought. The words are there, racing in her head, but they don’t come out. Every time she wants to say something, it gets caught in the back of her throat.

Sylvie’s trying to pick from a list of infinite questions and countless ways to begin when she feels a chill on the back of her neck. At that moment, a voice comes from behind her. “Hi, are y--”

“Ah!” Sylvie shrieks, the voice startling her. She nearly jumps out of her skin as she turns around in shock, only to see a guy standing in front of her. It’s the same guy, she realizes, that had been staring at her earlier. Now, up close, she guesses that he can’t be all that much older that she is. He has blonde hair that’s short at the back and longer at the front, his eyes a soft shade of blue-green. His jacket and boots are a little worn but other than that, he looks completely normal. Except for the fact that he’s the only other person in this whole cemetery, and he just came up to her from behind without making a sound.

“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he assures her, his hands up in surrender.

“Oh, uh, it’s okay.” Sylvie lets out a big breath, shaking off the nerves from the jumpscare.

“Not to be rude or anything, but I just-- I’m usually the only one here,” he explains awkwardly.

“Are you a groundskeeper or something? I can leave if you guys need me to.”

“No no,” he laughs bashfully, scratching the back of his neck. “I work in construction, actually. But I’ve uh.. I’ve been coming here the same time, every Sunday for years now to visit my dad. Nobody’s ever here when I am, so I figured you must be new.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry for your loss,” she offers. So okay, he’s not such a creep after all. Actually, he’s kind of sweet. “He must have been a really great dad, for you to be visiting him every week after all these years.”

“He… had his moments,” the man explains delicately. “Honestly, he wasn’t the most affectionate guy. I guess I just don’t want to end up like him. Jaded and cruel.”

Sylvie nods understandingly, because she gets it. Her parents are loving and supportive, but she’s had some exes that have put her through the ringer. Her first real love, Harrison, had been manipulative and heartless. She’s always hoped that these awful guys wouldn’t change her for the worse either.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. I’ll get out of your hair,” he offers. “But uh, here. Take this.” The guy holds out a single rose, which Sylvie accepts.

Her eyebrows narrow in confusion at the gesture. “A rose?”

“Yeah, well, my dad has been getting a dozen roses a week from my family since I was 17, he won’t turn over in his grave if he gets 11 just this one time. I’m sure whoever you’re grieving could use it a lot more than he could.”

Sylvie’s confused expression softens into gratitude, a faint smile pulling at her lips. This guy, whoever he is, didn’t have to do this for her. It’s a sweet gesture. He really does seem nice. No catches, no mind games, just simple and kind. She hasn’t met a guy like that in a while, at least not one her age. “That’s actually really sweet, thank you.”

“Of course.”

“I’m Sylvie, by the way,” she introduces herself awkwardly. Everything about this situation is awkward, frankly. But she extends her free hand anyway. “Sylvie Brett.”

“Matt Casey. I wish it were under nicer circumstances, but it’s nice to meet you.” His smile is wide as he takes her hand and shakes it. It’s confusing, but it makes Sylvie smile all the same.

“You seem awfully cheerful for someone who’s in a graveyard,” she observes.

“Like I said: I’ve been doing this for a while. I’m sort of all talked out now,” Matt explains with a shrug.

“Right,” she nods. “I wish I could relate. Normally I’m the one who’s cheerful and talkative, but it’s hard with this sort of thing. Everything I want to say just doesn’t seem to come out. Sometimes, I think if I start talking…”

“You’ll never stop?” He guesses.

“Yeah.” How did he know?

“Well I can tell you from experience that you definitely do stop talking at one point. I got all talked out two years ago. I looked around one day and realized I was talking about types of screwdrivers to my dad’s grave with no one else around. Eventually, you’ll run out of topics like I did. And then new ones will come, and you’ll talk some more, and then you get quiet again and then you just… stop talking.”

“I hope so. I’m a big talker-- I mean seriously, I never shut up-- but I just… I don’t know where to start with this one,” she explains.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who are you visiting?”

“Julie Walters.” She points to the tombstone in front of them. “My birth mother.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.”

Sylvie’s heard those six little words before. She had to stomach every single insincere, fake utterance of sympathy when she was at the funeral. But for some reason, the way Matt says it to her makes her think he really means it. She’s not used to people meaning it when they offer their condolences. It’s strange. Then again, this whole interaction is strange. “It’s okay,” she brushes it off.

“It’s not. At least, it doesn’t have to be,” he soothes. Something about his voice is so horrifyingly comforting. It’s calm and low, and it feels like warm tea and honey in her ears. It’s enough to make her want to burst into tears right then and there .

Sylvie takes a deep breath and then, before she can stop herself, breaks the silence to ramble. “I love my parents, you know? They raised me, they fed me, they’re responsible for the person I’ve become. But I’d always wondered where I came from, why my birth parents gave me up for adoption. And when Julie sought me out, I panicked at first. I wasn’t ready to give up that fantasy in my head of who she was, to have all my questions answered. But now I’m standing here, visiting her grave for the first time in the six months since her funeral by recommendation of my stupid grief counselor, and I… I just can’t stop thinking of all the questions I was too scared to ask. And man, it sucks.”

Matt stands there and nods understandingly, his gaze unwavering even as she turns her eyes towards Julie’s tombstone.

“I’m sorry,” she continues, wiping tears from her cheek. “We just met, and I’m rambling, and--”

“No no, it’s good for you,” he assures her. “ And I don’t mind it, I-- I like hearing you talk.”

“Oh.” Sylvie looks around, unsure of what to say. This Matt Casey guy, whoever he is, hasn’t run for the hills by now which is strange to say the least. But weirdly, it’s comforting.

“You’re right, you know,” he continues, switching the subject. “It sucks. Life… life sucks.”

“Yeah, it does,” she agrees, letting out a small laugh. This makes Matt laugh a little, which makes Sylvie laugh even more, until they’re both smiling and giggling in a cemetery like a bunch of blushing lunatics. It’s quite possibly the weirdest thing Sylvie’s ever experienced and yet somehow, it’s exactly what she needed. A bright light in the vast sea of darkness.

“You’re smiling again, that’s a good sign.”

“It is,” she agrees. “Am I crazy for that? I mean, I’m smiling and laughing in a graveyard with somebody I just met. Isn’t that weird?”

“A little,” he admits with a shy laugh. “But you’re not crazy. Sometimes people need a little bit of weirdness in their lives.”

“I guess stranger things have happened,” Sylvie shrugs playfully.

“Yeah.” He flashes her another smile before turning his attention towards Julie’s grave and facing it with her. Sylvie stares at the marked stone. She fondly remembers the few memories she had with Julie, and the countless ones they never got around to. It’s unfortunate, really, but it feels more manageable with someone there. Even if it’s someone she barely knows. Matt stands with her for a moment, the peace and quiet taking over. It’s nice. Sylvie’s never had silence be so comforting; it’s always made her anxious and uncomfortable up until now. Matt sure is a puzzling guy in that sense. She sneaks a peek at him through the corner of her eye, this guy who’s supporting her even though they just met. He’s lost someone too, he could be going back to his father’s tombstone. Instead, he’s staying there with her. Sylvie decides at that moment that Matt Casey is an unfailingly kind, weirdly solid guy. And, admittedly, a little attractive. Ok, a lot attractive.

“Hey, and don’t worry,” she adds after a few minutes of silence, “about being like your father. We aren’t our parents. And you seem… good. That’s all you can ask for I guess, is to be one of the good ones.”

“Thanks,” he nods, his eyes filled with a bit of confusion and a bit of something else Sylvie can’t quite place. Wonder, almost.

Sylvie turns back to Julie’s grave, tracing over the words with her eyes. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel so scary. Sylvie’s still sad, and wounds take time to scar over, but it doesn’t feel like she’s bleeding out anymore. She sighs, and she can sense the weight on her shoulders blowing away into the wind.

Unfortunately, when the sorrow blows away with the wind, it brings in the rain.

“Oh god,” Matt groans, wincing while looking up just on time to catch a raindrop in his eye. He squints and turns to Sylvie, who’s standing there laughing. “I didn’t see this in the weather forecast for today.”

“Me neither,” she giggles. “Today’s full of unexpected things, I guess.”

“It is.” He gives her a shy smile, nodding in agreement.

“Do you mind the rain?” She asks, looking up at the gloomy sky with a smile on her face.

“No,” he replies gently.

“Me neither.”

They stand there, hoods pulled away from their heads, letting the rain wash over them. There’s no shelter in sight anyway. They talk for a while about Chicago, about their lives, their friends, things that make them happy. But then they fall into a comfortable silence, smiling peacefully in the rain. Sylvie only moves a few times to brush raindrops off of the bouquet of flowers she’d placed at Julie’s grave. She looks at it, the name and the date etched in stone, and she doesn’t feel sick anymore. No questions unanswered, no bitterness. Her loss feels manageable.

She’s okay. More than okay.

“Hey, this might sound a little crazy, and I know we just met,” Matt starts after a while, “but would you want to… go get dinner or something?”

“What, like a date?” She snorts at her own joke, the idea being very nice in theory but impossible. It’s seriously impossible that this guy is actually asking her out, right?

“Er, yeah,” he nods. “Like a date.”

Oh. Okay, so he was asking her out. This is unfamiliar territory for Sylvie. She’s been asked out before, of course, by the small-town idiots in Fowlerton. But by an admittedly very good-looking stranger, under these circumstances no less? It’s a bit of a bizarre situation. That’s the crux of it, though. Matt Casey, whoever he is under all these sweet, charming layers, doesn’t feel like a stranger. Somehow, through one chance encounter, it feels like catching up with an old friend.

When she considers the facts, she’s had fun today. Every interaction they’ve had has come with such ease, and from a place of goodness and light. Yeah, maybe it’ll go absolutely nowhere. But one date in a public place won’t hurt her. She’s in Chicago for the rest of the weekend anyway. If anything, going out with someone like Matt Casey would do her a lot of good. And she hadn’t realized it until now but god, she really really wants to. So she does.

“I’d like that,” she finally replies while brushing rain off of her coat.

“Yeah?” He asks to make sure, his face lighting up with hope and slight excitement. Sylvie finds it adorable.

“Yeah,” she assures him.

He nods and grins excitedly as he leans in closer, and Sylvie feels the happiest she’s felt in a long time when he finally replies. “Me too.”

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?

[whump-town]

Fic idea for your consideration: somewhat non-cannon because I think Emily owned property before she bought that brownstone... but what if that brownstone is her first purchase and she feels kinda weird buying it without a partner the way she thought her first home purchase would be. Cue Hotch making her feel better about it.

[I’m fairly certain that I understood your idea but if I didn’t just let me know :)]

“Penny for your thoughts?”

It’s ten o’clock at night and the bullpen is cast in darkness aside from Emily Prentiss’s desk lamp. So, rightfully, she thought she was alone. That is until her stupidly tall unit chief comes stalking into the bullpen. Making no noise.

“We need to get you a collar,” she says with a shake of her head. Her heart is racing, pounding against the palm she presses to her sternum. “Jeez,” she grunts, letting her hand fall back down to her desk. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!” she chides with no real heat. 

More surprising than Hotch’s ability to sneak up on her is the smile he cracks. “I’m sure Sergio has one that I can borrow,” he says far too matter-of-factly considering what it is that he’s suggesting. 

Emily blanches at him, more than a little surprised. “Did you-- Did you just make a joke?” She chuckles dryly. He’s such a strange man. In the same breath that she feels off about his joke, she feels like she’s just seen a special feature film. Hotch’s jokes come so rarely and far between, often so dry that they crack and go unnoticed, that she’s afraid she’ll never see it again. So does she reward the behavior or tell him how odd it is to hear him crack a joke?

“Are you done here,” he asks, stepping up to her desk. He lifts the cover of her case, giving it an approving nod. “There’s a sandwich place downtown, I was gonna stop and catch a late dinner.”

Again, it’s ten o’clock at night. “What kind of sandwich shop is open at ten on a Saturday night?” However, after spending her week eating crappy food from vending machines it’s sounding pretty good. He’s convinced her and he hasn’t even laid out his best argument. 

Admittedly, he really doesn’t feel like dining alone.

Hotch takes her inquiry as a yes because that’s, essentially, what it is. “It mostly gets cadets and a few college students,” he admits. It wasn’t around when he was a part of either of those groups but he can still appreciate a good late-night sandwich. Especially, with the way, he forgets to take breaks. “I would understand if you’d rather go home though. It’s late and the kids at the shop have a tendency to be pretty nosey.”

Emily rises to her feet with an eye-roll. “Hotch, I didn’t die and come back from the dead to abide by societal standards on when I should eat my meals.” She smiles when he hands her bag to her. He can be a bit uptight but he’s a gentleman and she can appreciate that. “Besides,” she adds, “I’ve never said no to a sandwich in my life. I’m not going to start now.”

He lets himself laugh with her. Not all that long ago, he almost lost her. He wants to enjoy her company just as much as he wants to get to the bottom of whatever’s bothering her. And he plans to do just that. “I can drive,” he offers, knowing that she drove to work too. He’s really just buying time… time with her that he’s afraid is coming to an end.

Emily blows a breath out her mouth, slow but steady. She’s heavily considering it.

“I’ll pick you up in the morning,” he offers, “and we can stop for coffee.”

She snaps her finger, “sold!” She motions in front of her, comically allowing him to lead the way. 

While she’d hoped that a sandwich and some small talk would deter her spiraling thoughts. 

It doesn’t.

She just sits in his car and thinks about the family he had. Haley and Jack. His marriage wasn’t the world’s happiest but Haley and Hotch loved one another. He had someone to come home to. That’s more than she can say she ever had. 

These thoughts plague her past the car ride and she finds that he’s mumbled something to her multiple times now and she’s been too far gone to notice. 

As they take their seats at the diner, opposing sides of a booth, Hotch sighs. “What did I tell you?” He means, of course, the two other groups in the shop. One of the kids is definitely a cadet, there’s something spectacularly star struck about the grin on the young woman’s face. It’s hard to tell, which one of them is causing said reaction. 

While her name may be the stuff of urban legend, his comes with his tricky career. Cadets are taught about the woman who infiltrated a unit renowned for studying human behavior. The only person to ever have her name and face placed on the wall of the fallen and taken down. While they teach his name alongside George Foyet-- the gift that keeps on giving. Cadets know, in intimate detail, what Foyet did to Hotch. 

He’s a lesson.

She’s a legend.

“So,” Hotch brushes his hands off. He’d torn into his own sandwich while her own had garnered only a little bit of her attention. She can’t stop thinking about the cadets and the students watching them. There seems to be a median of reactions and she knows that has to do with their attire, their jobs, and their names. 

“Buyers regret,” he recalls, frowning as his fingers work to undo his tie. To her shock, she sits and watches as SSA Aaron Hotchner is torn apart leaving only Aaron with slightly tousled hair and loosened collar. “Dave thinks you’re planning on leaving. Morgan knows you’re stalling. Reid’s... He’s certain you’ll ask for reassignment.”

Reassignment?

She shakes her head. Profilers, man, they suck. 

Hotch sighs, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table. “I think they’re probably right,” he surmises. 

Emily winces. Now, she can’t lie to him. She pops a french fry in her mouth, buying herself time but looking incredibly guilty in doing so. “It’s about the brownstone,” she admits, playing with another fry so that she doesn’t have to look at him. “I just… It feels wrong, you know?”

He wishes he understood. He wants to offer her that comfort but he doesn’t understand. Her emotions, everything concerning her lately, has been pulled away. She’s guarded, even to him and JJ, and he can’t say he blames her. “I’m afraid I don’t,” he replies. “I’m willing to try, though, if you’re willing to explain.” 

Emily keeps her eyes lowered to the table, unable to meet his eyes knowing that they’re going to be burning with compassion. To think there was once a point in their lives that they hated the simple sight of one another. Only to end up here. 

The only thing holding them together these days. 

“I’m almost forty years old,” she admits sheepishly, rubbing at her cheek. She knows that he’s not a misogynist. So he’s not going to think it’s silly or childish that she planned out her wedding before she was even ten and thought she had her life planned out. 

Yet, when she meets his eyes all she can think about is that he probably had plans for forty-five too. 

Probably thought he’d still be married to his high-school sweetheart with three or four kids. Things wouldn’t be perfect but he’d have a family too. He’d have more to come home to than his dead ex-wife’s sister and his son. Not that he ever complains.

Now he’s raising an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to fill him in. Informing him of her age isn’t connecting the dots and he’s starting to think he’s missed something. Her birthday isn’t for a few more months. So, he knows that’s not it.

“I thought I would have a family,” she whispers, grimacing when she blushes. “I thought I would be married and I’d have kids.” She’s afraid to see his reaction to her words. To her surprise, the corners of his mouth have fallen into a deep frown. His eyes have moved to the table but he’s not mad. He’s not even upset, he’s just thinking. 

She sucks in a breath, fumbling to amend whatever she’s said to throw him for a loop. “I mean, it’s kind of selfish--”

“It isn’t.” His voice is deep, thick with the emotion he means to punch into the statement. “It’s not selfish to want a family, Emily.” He manages a small smile her way but his eyes are still pulled down by the weight of the topic at hand. Reaching up he rubs at his jaw, shaking his head as he thinks of something to say. “What does that have to do with the brownstone though?”

She grimaces. She was kind of hoping he’d put that together by himself and spare her the explanation. Clearing her throat and pulling her hands under the table to hide any tells he might see she manages. “I’ve never bought a home before,” she glances up for his immediate reaction before dropping her eyes back down. “I always… I just let myself down, Hotch. I just bought my first house but I don’t even have a partner to move into it with.”

He can see her tears swelling up in her eyes so he reaches across the table, resting his palm upright on the table for her to take. She looks up at him and then down at his hand and back at him again. He raises an eyebrow, silently waiting for her to take it. 

Hesitantly, she places her hand over his. 

“Emily,” he says softly. “There’s no right way to do any of this.” He motions vaguely around them, meaning not just her brownstone problem but life in general. He gives her hand a soft squeeze. “If it did, I imagine…” his immediate thought goes to Haley. If things had gone down as he planned… Well, things wouldn’t be as they are now. He shakes his head clear of that thought. “Things wouldn’t the same,” he decides. “We probably wouldn’t be a sandwich shop at eleven o’clock at night, that’s for sure.”

Emily nods her head. Good point. She’d be at home with a husband and kids to spend the night with. Not hanging out with her boss-- who doubles as one of her few friends-- and the only person waiting for her being a spoiled cat. “Rossi would probably still have his handful of divorces though,” she says with a shrug.

Hotch chuckles, “oh yeah.”

Pulling back to their respective sides of the table, Hotch turns his attention back to his food. He’s starving and he looks up to find Emily’s going back to own food as well. 

“I can-- I can put together IKEA furniture,” he offers lamely, after a moment. “I mean, I put together Jack’s crib and toddler bed…” Not to mention the half-dozen times he’s had to move over the last decade. He’s assembled his share of furniture.

She laughs as his weak offer to help but appreciates it none-the-less. “Morgan already promised he’d do that,” she tells him. She’s smiling but his shoulder’s drop a little as his only chance to help is kindly brushed away. Quickly, she adds, “but you and Jack can come by and I can bastardize one of Dave’s recipes to better suit the tastebuds of a five-year-old?”

He smiles, nodding. “I’ll bring wine and promise not to tell Dave you messed with one of his recipes.” 

Emily rolls her eyes. Dave loves her but he might also beat her if he were to find out she regularly adds and takes things out of his recipes. She smiles at Hotch, already excited to have Jack over. “It’s a date then.”

He nods his head, a date indeed.

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Academy Together, Friends Forever 8/10

Also on Ao3 

(Beginning) (Prev Chapter) (Next Chapter)

Buck stares up at Carlos, confused as to why this near-stranger was yelling at him and was about to answer his question when the paramedic swats at Carlos’ hands, “Carlos! Let the man go.” She exclaims, forcing him to release his shirt so she can work on his wounds.

Judd appeared in his field of view, peering down at him in confusion before realisation dawns across his face. “Cap! You should come over here! Your boy Buck was the person crazy enough to go inside without any gear.”

He couldn’t hear Owen’s response over the paramedic muttering to herself about all the numerous cuts on his body as she attempts to stop them from bleeding. Maybe it was the blood loss or the lack of oxygen, but it takes Buck longer than it should have to get the paramedic’s attention to give her an important detail. Fumbling with the oxygen mask and leaving a smear of blood on the plastic, he manages to say, “I’m on- I’m on blood thinners.”

Buck watches her eyes widen in alarm before settling into a calm sense of urgency over this new information and she reaches for her radio intending to call for another RA unit. Before she even utters a word, Buck stops her. “That guy looks like he needs the one that’s already here as much as I do. Just wrap what you can and put me in the seat, then you can watch both of us.”

“Alright then, we’ve gotta go now.” Quickly wrapping a bandage along each arm, she carefully helps him to his feet just as Owen joins them, immediately tucking his shoulder under Buck’s other arm, causing him to hiss slightly.

“You okay?” He asks, concern clear in his voice.

Buck can help but smirk through the sting, “Yep no worries, I’ll be fine. Just need to get these wounds sealed and I’ll be good as new.”

“If you’re sure,” Owen says hesitantly as they settle him into the ambulance. “I’ll send TK to keep you company at the hospital.” Buck looks down at the blood already seeping through the bandage, but then throws on a reassuring smile to Owen and gives him a one-fingered salute as they close the doors.

Admittedly, by the time they rolled into the hospital he was feeling a little lightheaded, and when Michelle, as he learned her name was, gives him a no-nonsense look when they wheel up a second gurney to the ambulance for him, he doesn't argue knowing there was no point, and graciously accepts help onto it as he fights a wave of dizziness.

As it turns out, the doctor was less than impressed by his apparent lack of self-preservation, especially when she discovers that he had two deep, freely bleeding lacerations; one on the underside of his arm and the other high up on the side of his chest. He guessed that he must have gotten them pulling the man through the window. It would definitely explain why he was feeling so tired.

She had just finished stitching up the second wound and was moving onto sealing the nuisance cuts on his arms when TK found him. “Dude, seriously, we leave you for a couple of hours and this is what you manage to do!” He says this in exasperation, but Buck could hear a hint of fondness in there too.

TK takes a seat beside him and waits in comfortable silence as the doctor dresses the wounds, and then informs them both that they’ll keep him for a few hours of observation to ensure there were no other complications from the smoke inhalation or the wounds.

After she leaves Buck immediately turns to TK, in a bid to distract him from the situation. “So, guess who I saw today.” He then proceeds to tell TK all about his encounter with Carlos at the scene and how he was none too pleased with his daring rescue.

“I can see why you like him. He has that fierce protector vibe, a quality might I add that your ex did not have and something that I think could do you some good.” TK blushes, and lightly punches him in the arm claiming that he didn’t need Buck’s approval, which Buck agreed, he didn’t.

After further discussion on the topic, Buck manages to convince TK to call Carlos and set up a date. What he did not expect however was for TK to include him in said date to go to the movies.

“So, what you’re saying is that I’ll be third-wheeling.”

“Come on Buck, baby steps, I don’t even know what our relationship is yet. Besides I want you to properly meet Carlos before you go home.” Buck, of course, relents to put TK at ease under the guise of reluctance but secretly he did want to get to know TK’s new man.

** ** **

Carlos has had a day. It's his day off and yet somehow, he still manages to be working in some capacity. In this case, its responding and calling dispatch about a house fire while keeping a distraught wife and mother from re-entering the house and being a third potential casualty instead of two.

And then out of nowhere, this guy, the one that he met briefly in TK’s hospital room starts questioning him like he’s the reason the house was burning. As soon as the guy got the answers he was apparently looking for, he was running towards the flames. What normal person does that? Does this guy have a death wish? Like sure, as a cop, Carlos was used to running towards danger, but he was trained for that sort of thing. Who was this Buck guy to do just that?

Conflicting emotions bubbled deep in his belly as he keeps the woman company while they wait with bated breath for some sign that Buck managed to pull off the rescue. Mostly, he was angry at this civilian who recklessly went into a burning house to play hero and frustrated at his inability to help besides calling for help is at the forefront. Surprisingly, fear was also swirling around in there.

Fear that this guy, Buck, a friend to both TK and Captain Strand, who he’s never seen before, had willingly put himself in danger and might not make it out safely. And then Carlos will have to be the one to tell the two Strands that their friend had put his life above two strangers and paid for it. He prays that by some miracle that Buck manages to save the father and son.

And then all at once, the 126 was at the scene, and Buck had emerged soot-covered, carrying the father on his shoulders along the rooftop with the child clinging to him. Carlos can’t help but cheer internally only to watch the man slip and land heavily in a deathly still heap on the ground.

He’s ashamed to say that he uncharacteristically let his fear and frustration control his actions and finds himself yelling in the poor man’s face. Michelle rightfully put him in his place and he moved off, going instead to give his statement to one of his colleagues before heading home to change out of his smoke scented clothes.

What he did not expect barely an hour later is to get a call from TK saying that he was out of the hospital and wanted to go out for a movie and possibly dinner afterward. In light of the morning he just had, it was a welcome surprise and he agrees to pick up him and this friend that TK wanted him to meet.

The afternoon came quickly enough and before he knew it, Carlos was at TK’s house and TK was opening the door and dragging him inside only to discover--

“Buck?!”

The man in question had just rounded the corner, pulling on a jacket and looking as if the morning didn’t even happen. Out of the corner of his eye, Carlos could see TK looking between them questioningly before stepping back and grabbing Buck by the wrist and bringing him up to stand in front of Carlos.

He’s not normally the type to feel threatened by another guy being close to someone he wants to be in a relationship with, but he can’t help but feel a twinge of insecurity at seeing the closeness between Buck and TK as they stand side by side with their shoulder brushing. He can’t help it, especially when Buck is this beautiful and muscular guy, a total catch.

After their re-introduction, the three of them head to the cinema which wasn’t far away by car. It didn’t take them long to decide on a rom-com and Buck shooed TK and Carlos off to wait somewhere more comfortable while he waited in line, insisting on being the one to pay for the tickets.

Almost as soon as they were seated, TK rounds on him.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird since you knew it was Buck that was coming with us.”

“What’s the deal between you two?” TK’s thinly veiled concern morphed into amusement and he laughs at the question.

“That’s what this is about?” TK gently takes his hand in his own and presses it to his lips, “Oh Carlos, first off, I promise you there’s nothing going on between me and Buck. I mean yeah, he’s a pretty guy but its never been like that. Buck is more of a brother than anything and I’m pretty sure I’m not his type.”

At hearing this, Carlos groans and lets his head drop onto TK’s uninjured shoulder, burying his face into TK’s jacket in embarrassment. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” He mumbles into the fabric.

TK lightly pats his knee comfortingly. “You’re a cute idiot but don’t worry about it, it’s not the first time someone has thought that. We just got really close when he lived with us and we went through the fire academy together.”

“He probably thinks I’m an asshole.” Says Carlos lifting his head from TK’s shoulder, feeling guilty for the way he’s been acting. TK hums in response before patting his knee once more and gets up as Buck starts making his way over from the ticket booth.

“I’m sure he doesn’t but if you want to clear the air or whatever you can talk to him while I go to the bathroom, okay?” somewhat relieved in not having to ask, Carlos gives TK a quick nod and then TK was walking away, giving Buck a playful elbow bump as he passes him on the way to the bathroom.

Buck took TK’s spot and passes Carlos his ticket, looking away with a slight frown before he turns back to Carlos, and then they’re both speaking at once.

“Look, man, I’m sorry about this morning—” “Buck I’m sorry about how--”

Carlos stops talking abruptly and gestures for Buck to continue, “It's just- I’ve had experience with showing up too late to a fire, and knowing that I had a chance to save them, well, I had to take that risk. So, I’m sorry if I came across as a dick.”

He shakes his head. “Buck, I don’t even know why you're apologising when I was the one who was yelling at you for saving two people. I think you scared me more than anything, this civilian who I know is friends with TK and his dad just went into a burning house. I was afraid of what I might have to tell them if you didn’t make it out.”

Buck for his part, nodded along with his explanation, realisation dawning across his face at what he was implying, and Carlos couldn’t help but wonder if the guy had even considered that fact. From the looks of it, he wasn’t sure that he had, which was kind of concerning, to say the least.

Buck then scrunched up his face in confusion. “Wait, so why were you apologising?”

“Honestly, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I thought there was something going on between you and TK, and I kind of felt threatened with whatever relationship we seem to have. But I am also really sorry about getting in your face this morning, that was shit of me especially considering you were injured.”

��Oh. Well, apology accepted. And I swear there is nothing going on between us.” He grins, “besides TK isn’t really my type.”  

Carlos laughed at that, “Yeah, TK pretty much said the same thing.”

“So, we’re cool?” Buck puts his hand out for him to shake and Carlos takes it gladly, happy to put the misunderstanding behind them. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

TK came back after that, smiling at the two of them before gesturing towards the concession stand eager to get popcorn and candy before the movie started. Conversation flowed much easier for the rest of the evening and Carlos can't help but feel the beginnings of a beautiful friendship.

Tag list: @buckleystrand @seaofashes @kingtxhalla @justsmilestuffhappens @diazbuckleysworld @diazsbuckley @confessions-of-a-shipperholic @spell-of-the-rain @novemberhush @black-forest-girl @bluebelle88 @adamngoodbuck @overtimeme @captain--sif @rachbabe007 

Let me know if you want to be added to the tags 😊💖

[therandomfish]

Bridgerton Review

So, are we fans of Jane Austin? Oscar Wilde? Writers of that nature? Then buckle up kids because this is….. in a lot of ways almost exactly like that. Oh and SPOILERS!!!!!!!

Bridgerton is a drama series made for Netflix set in 1813 set in London at a time when young ladies were produced in from of royalty and then attended various functions in order to attract a suitor. First off I want to give some props to not only the design of the show but the choice of performers to play these various roles; everyone fitted their role perfectly and spoke eloquently. I will not single out any actors or actresses in this review as being exceptionally amazing but will say the cast as a whole was phenomenal.

So what’s the plot? Well there’s the main family of this show AKA The Bridgertons with their mother Violet (played by Ruth Gemmell) along with the 3 sons “The stick in the mud” Anthony (played by Jonathan Bailey), the “middle one with odd one out tendencies” Benedict (played by Luke Thompson) and the “one that needs a good slap in the face from reality” Colin (played by Luke Newton) we then get the one with more main-character-itus than the others called Daphne (played by Pheobe Dynevor) the nerdy daughter Eloise (played by Claudia Jesse) and then we have the one who disappears and only re appears once Francesca (played by Ruby Stokes) and finally the 2 youngest Gregory and Hyacinth (played by Will Tilston and Florence Hunt) and Main-Character-Itus Daphne is brought before Queen Charlotte (played by Golda Rosheuvel) to be presented by her mother to show that she is ready to seduce a man and get married (ahh the days of England when that type of thing was the only thing we were worried about; now that I think about it looking at some of the ladies around these days maybe they are still only worried about that), Daphne’s brother Stick in the mud or Anthony is taking over for her father in these matters as her father would’ve be in charge of making sure the suitor was suitable for the daughter in question. However Anthony is also (as in customary in these types of shows) a big old hypocrite who wants his sister to marry very specific people and make her do what is expected of her all while he is going around having sex with an opera singer Siena played by Sabrina Bartlett and talking about not wanting his responsibilities to the family but he has to do stuff. However he really misses the mark when he ends up pairing up Daphne with a dude called Nigel Berbrooke who is played by Jamie Beamish and also you’ll be glad to know isn’t in this show for very long due to getting punched in the face and exposed as a randy bastard but through a charade and touched fingers and sideways glances she falls for a Duke called Simon Bassett played by Rege-Jean Page (I apologise for the butchered spelling of the name) and they end up together by the end and while their story is the main front of the show and the main focus their relationship is quite believable in a lot of ways, they start out as friends and even when the Queen herself is opposed to them being together they make a plea to her and Simon makes the best speech ever about being friends first and transcending to love is what makes a relationship and in this case a marriage stronger because of it. We do get a secret that Simon is hiding but in all honesty it is something that even some people today would stick to; he makes a vow that he will never have kids to his dying father who was more interested in securing his family name and a male heir than he was in the health of his wife and honestly something that you stick to out of anger is a hard thing to let go of but of course he eventually does and there is a happy ending for them and you genuinely feel good for them when they do reach that moment.

However lets focus on the rest of this insane cast, I already mentioned the main family and their performers and like I said, Anthony is stuck trying to be the man of the house, his story is simple, he is a dick trying to do what’s right, he then tries to make amends to the opera singer he was shagging then decided to dump and gets told (rightly so) to get stuffed and so he decides that marrying for love is a dumb move (weird ending but okay) the second son is an artist and he meets up with another artist who shows him the artistic and creative world where he can paint and draw to his hearts content and of course he learns that his new friend is bisexual and he doesn’t know how to deal with it and you know what? They focus on that just long enough that you feel like you got just the right amount of that story, with the story focussing mostly on Benedict feeling like an outcast and finding common ground with his artist friends and also he got to draw attractive women in the nude.. he must have loved that day on set.

And finally we have the youngest of the three older siblings Colin who gets into a mess with a pregnant woman, now hold on, this is linked to another family called the Featheringtons with 2 older daughters who I swear look like they’ve been watching the evil stepsisters and have been emulating them ever since and a younger daughter called Penelope but then we also get the a character who joins the family and ends up going to the social events, trying to find a husband with the daughters called Marina Thompson played by Ruby Barker who is pregnant who ends up trying to get Colin to marry her and to sleep with her so he thinks the baby is his and feels guilty enough to stay with her. Now there are a lot of extenuating circumstances surrounding this, up to and including that Marina got pregnant from a soldier and he hasn’t been in communication with her and Baroness Featherington (who is a bitch) makes her believe that he wants nothing to do with her anymore and all sorts of things but Colin rightfully calls her out on a lot of stuff in her behaviour and other such stuff.

But going back to Penelope for just a minute and the younger sister of Daphne in the main family. They are the apparent intellectuals who decide to look down at the women who want to get married and are fine with prancing about as they don’t want to and want to pursue knowledge more and they are all reading what is essentially something like The Sun just a giant gossip column made by someone called Lady Whistledown (who is voiced by Julie Andrews) her identity is kept secret until the very last episode and almost the last frame and honestly I felt like this was the one thing in the whole show that really let me down. Keeping her identity secret wasn’t necessary and even when it was revealed it didn’t feel earned, having her voiced by a specific actress made me want to see that actress playing a role or have her be revealed to be someone who we hadn’t seen all show and made us wonder why she did this and have her give a smile of satisfaction at what had happened. But part of the Eloise and Penelope storylines is that they both want something they can’t have, Penelope wants Colin to herself (who saw that coming read my enthusiasm) and Eloise doesn’t want to have to choose a husband at all, being the type of woman who would say things like “I don’t need a man to feel complete in my life” and I do enjoy those characters because they are a breath of fresh air among all the other cardboard cutouts of the others who are trying to copy the main characters but sadly she is stuck with all the usual stuff a woman like her gets in a society like that was and she just didn’t feel like she grew much over the course of the show.

But overall, how was this one? Well in all honesty I would recommend watching it, not just because of the well written dialogue, not just because of the brilliant casting but because all together it makes the show sensational (just like all the drama is mmmm it’s delicious)

 Randomfish out

[zayray030]

Misunderstandings are Disastrous.

Summary: Oliver is a good person. He really is. So he doesn't understand why he's comforting a drunk Iris who thinks her husband's cheating on her. He's gonna kill Barry. OR Barry and the others have been acting really wierd for a month and Iris rightfully jumps to conclusions.

How did Oliver ever get put into these situations. He was a good man. Sure me might have killed a few people and cheated on a couple of people, but at the end of the day he tried his hardest to be a good person.

Do that's why he was extremely confused on why he was consulting an extremely drunk Iris about her place in Barry's life.

“I'm sure he loves you Iris. Why would you think otherwise?” Oliver asked, trying to get to the source of the problem. He's sure by the time Iris has finished he would be able to dig up at least 50 different times where Barry gushed about Iris, at least.

“Well it started a month ago…”

~A month ago~

“Hey babe!” Iris greeted happily when she saw Baeey in the kitchen. She had just come back from C.C Citizen and she really wanted to see her husband again.

“Oh, hey Iris. What are you doing here?” asked Barry distractedly, not looking up from his phone. Iris frowned slightly at his tone before smiling again and soldering on.

“Well I just got back from jitters after writing a really long article on the newest crime sprees that the Flash had stopped and I really wanted to come cuddle with my husband!” she said excitedly but Barry still hadn't looked up from his screen. “Barry?”

“Oh, um yeah, that's nice. Listen Iris, I have to go somewhere. I'll see you tonight.” said Barry before getting up and walking out. He hadn't even given her a kiss goodbye.

Iris just shook her head, thinking it was nothing and maybe he was recovering from another meta attack. Oh well, they'll cuddle tonight.

~A week after that incident~

“Hello, this is Barry. Please leave a message.” came Barry's voice from the phone. Iris sighed again and let her phone drop on the counter of Jitters. Iris had been acting weird all week and he had been ignoring all her calls and Iris was starting to get worried. Was he being mind controlled?

Suddenly, Iris heard the sound of the door opening and when she turned around she saw a very beautiful woman walking in and she couldn't believe who was behind her. Barry.

Iris felt something stir up in her chest but she pushed it down. Now was not the time to tune in with her emotions. She quickly looked around the room and saw a hidden spot where they wouldn't be able to see her but she would be able to and sat there.

Iris felt her heart crack the more she sat there and watched Barry talk to the beautiful woman and laugh with her. Insecurity shot up in her and so did jealousy but she squashed them down. Barry would never cheat on her. He was too loving for that. But Iris couldn't help but think of those times where Barry seemed almost bored with her and she felt her eyes stinging with unshed tears. She rubbed at her eyes quickly. No! She would not jump to conclusions about her loyal husband!

But Iris couldn't help but feel her heart crack even more when she saw Barry give the woman a hug longer than strictly necessary and saw the woman kiss his cheek. Iris held back a sob until Barry walked out with a woman and only then did she bring her hands to her face and sob.

~A week after that~

“Sorry Iris, but today is meta day.” said Cisco sadly as he and everyone else got ready to go out in town.

“Find a really cute girl that Barry told us about,” said Ralph. Frost slapped him over the head. Or maybe it was Caitlin. Who knows?

“Oh?” Iris said quietly, taking a step back from everyone hurt and betrayal rippling through her.

“What this dumbass means is that we're just going to pick some clothes that we can wear without our powers getting in the way and Barry met this really nice woman who can make clothes like nobody's business.” said Frost, with her usual cold tone but it was surprisingly gentle when directed at Iris.

“Yeah, what the ice lady said. Plus, I really want to buy some more jackets.” added Allegra.

“Okay, that's cool. Um, have a nice day.” said Iris awkwardly as everyone walked out to the elevator. While Iris was walking away she heard something that caught her ears so she stayed back slightly.

“Christ that was close.” muttered Cisco.

“Next time don't be so obvious. Barry doesn't want Iris to know and I agree. She deserves it.” snapped Frost.

“Yeah! Don't ruin it. He doesn't want her to know until the last minute possible and we're going to respect that.” agreed Allegra and Iris could imagine the small glare she must have on.

“I'm sorry but I feel weird when I lie to Iris.it doesn't feel natural.” argued Ralph.

“Well Joe, Wally, Cecile, Jackie and Kamilla are willing to do it so pull one for the team, Ralph!” said Cisco as the elevator doors closed.

Iris felt her heart crack again at knowing the fact that her own family and friends were willing to sit back and watch her husband go behind her back. Iris knew she shouldn't be jumping to conclusions but it was getting harder and harder to be able to deny the fact that her husband might be cheating on her.

After all, the evidence and the strange interactions have been proof enough that maybe, just maybe, that Barry is cheating on her and the others are supporting this. Iris quickly ran to the canteen and flopped down on one of the couches and sobbed her heart out at this new revelation.

~Currently~

“... and other odd things have been happening across star labs and whenever I hang out with the others they're just so secretive and they keep sending me these looks and - and-” and Iris could no longer keep her tears in and sobbed out.

Oliver quickly put an arm around and tried to soothe her like he would soothe Thea when she got scared, nervous or upset and let her cry on his shoulder.

“It's going to be okay, Iris.” he said softly while also vowing to kill Barry for his stupidity. “I'm going to need you to take this drink for me. It'll make you sober but won't give you a hangover.” he said gently as he took out a small vial full of red liquid.

Iris nodded slightly, still sniffling slightly and drowned the drink in one go. Oliver looked into her eyes and saw her pupils go back to their normal color and huffed out a breath of relief.

“Hey, you better now?” he asked gently.

“No.” she answered and Oliver could understand that. He just wished that Barry could think twice before he did something dumb like this again. It's as if anything Oliver taught him went through one ear and out the other.

“Understandable. Come on let's go.”he said gently before calling over a waiter to pay the check. Iris didn't protest like she usually would and just stood up and shivered slightly, her shirt dress and heels doing nothing to keep her warm. Oliver shrugged off his jacket and placed it around her shoulder.

“Can we go to star labs first? I left my laptop there by accident.” she said. Oliver nodded secretly elated that he was finally going to where he wanted Iris to be in the first place.

After Oliver had paid for all of Iris's drinks they quickly got into his limo and drove off. For the most part of it Iris was quite apart from the occasional hiccup and Oliver just kept bouncing his legs, nervous. With how bad the others had been he was sure it was going to be a complete disaster.

When they got to star labs Iris briskly walked in, wanting to get out of there as quick as possible and went straight to the Canteen

It was completely dark when they walked in and Oliver held his breath as Iris switched the light on.

“SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRIS!!!!” Everyone screamed the moment the light was turned on. Iris jumped back, fear in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared as she saw the scene.

There was a huge banner that said ‘Happy birthday to Iris Ann West Allen’ in big, bright, bold colours and there were steamers all around along with cakes and candy all on plates. The normally pristine area was filled with so much decoration and there was a mounting of presents on a table at the corner of the room. Drinks were placed everywhere and all her friends where crowded around the front.

“Do you know how long I've waited?” asked Cisco as he sighed a sigh of relief. Oliver just shook his head thinking over and over that this was a bad idea.

“Iris?” Barry asked when he noticed his wife had gone silent. Everyone had turned to the small woman and they could see tears collecting in her eyes.

“So you aren't cheating on me?” she asked quietly. Everyone paused in their laughter and turned to stare at her. Why did she think that?

“What? Of course not, Iris! Why would you think that?” asked Barry speeding over to his wife and tilting her chin upwards. Oliver shook his head again and groaned quietly in his hands.

“You kept on ignoring me and when you did talk to me you sounded so cold and dismissive and you guys kept avoiding me and I saw you hang out with a pretty women and ignore my calls and I saw her kiss your cheeks and i-” Iris lost the battle with her tears and started sobbing in her husbands chest.

Over Barry's shoulder, Oliver could see everyone's guilty and ashamed faces.

“Iris, baby, I so desperately wanted to tell you about this but they wouldn't let me talk to you. They even had to lock me over on Cynthia's earth just to keep me quiet. I so desperately wanted to call you and give you all the attention you deserve but they took my phone away and knocked me out.” said Barry to his wife, soothing her doubts away. Well, most of her doubts anyway. It'll take more than a few words.

“Oh.” she said quietly, but tears were still streaming down her face.

“We're so sorry Iris. But if Barry was cheating on you, which he isn't, I would never stand by him. I would tell you straight away and post every ugly picture I have of him in the Citizen.” said Kamilla, coming to her sister figure and giving her a hug.

“And plus, I would burn his face off.” added Allegra, joining into the hug.

Slowly everyone began giving Iris apologies and telling her one hundred percent that if Barry tried anything with her they would without a doubt, one hundred percent, end his existence.

By the end of it the only person not in the hug was Oliver but Iris fixed that soon enough by pulling out a blind arm and waving it around signalling him to come over and dragging him over.

“Now come on, birthday day girl! It's time for you to party and dance the night away!” cheered Sara pulling Iris to the dance floor and Iris let out a small giggle and soon mostly everyone was on the dance floor.

“How the fuck do I make this up to her?” Barry quietly asked Oliver, Kara and Kata

“It's going to take time. A few words can't change what she's thought about for a month. Therapy is a good idea and reminding her you love her every time you talk to her. And also, when throwing her a surprise party, don't you dare ignore her.” said Oliver. He had recently begun to see Iris as a sister and he wasn't going to stand around and see her upset.

“I mean I got her tickets to go to the best spa in America so I think it's best to think that maybe she needs a good day to relax with friends.” said Kate, as if she was challenging Oliver. Oliver just scoffed and smirked.

“Well I got her a free day to whatever thing she what's from the Queen beauty spa.” countered Oliver and before those two could get into a fight Kara stepped in between them.

“Oh, no, no, no. This day is Iris's special day and none of us is going to ruin it. We already ruined her month by making her think that Barry was going to cheat on her. So Barry, a way Iris could forgive you is if you put your speed to use.” said Kara not realising the double meaning to it until Oliver and Kate cracked up. “Oh, shut it.” she snapped.

“Anyway, what Kara said. You're practically a human vibrator. Put that to use for her birthday gift and make sure she stays happy. After that we're all going to grovel at her feet like dogs for ruining her mental state.” Kara finally got out after she'd finished laughing.

“Couples dance!” yelled Cisco dragging Kamilla to the dance floor. Barry sped over to his wife and danced with her. Everyone's eyes were kept on the couple and they felt their eyes glisten. Those two have gone through so much, they deserved this little money between them.

The night was spent partying and dancing with Iris opening up presents and everyone apologising. The ones who couldn't get drunk kept an eye out for everyone. By the time the night was over Iris had happy tears in her eyes and most of her worries had subsided. Her feet ached and all she wanted was a night with her husband.

“Come on, let's go. Let me give you your present.” he whispered into her ear and she could see Kara blush bright red from where she was talking to Oliver and Kate.

“Yay.” she said quietly and he quickly picked her up bridal style and ran out with her. Iris faintly heard everyone calling them goodbye and she relaxed into her husband's chest.

He opened up their dorr and gently ran then to their bedroom and gently placed her on the bed.

“Let me show you just how much I love you, baby.” he whispered into her ear and Iris just nodded before gasping softly.

Maybe an entire month of worrying whether your husband was going to cheat on you wasn't good but Iris couldn't deny the after effect was very nice.

At least that's what she told herself when she woke up to her naked body sore all over and her husband's smug smirk.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and being courted by Louis de Pointe du Lac

(Not my gifs)(Requested by anonymous) (I might make poly headcanons for him and Lestat: though I might have already done so I honestly don’t remember)

- You met Louis when Lestat was trying to please him and get him to stay with him. You were Claudia’s sister so when you came home to find a blonde vampire who was also a complete stranger sweeping your sister into his arms you were more than a little terrified and confused. 

- He decided he could kill two birds with one stone; get Louis to stay because he was responsible for Claudia being turned and get him to fall for you. Long story short you were taken to his castle and turned before Claudia was.

- Once Claudia had wrapped her arms around Louis Lestat informed him that he had another surprise and he brought you out.

 “She is all yours my friend.” 

- You could hear a pin drop as you entered; Louis could only think about how beautiful you were and that because of him you would be forced to live the same hell he was living in at that very moment. 

- You had expected him to be beautiful; after seeing Lestat you assumed all vampires were attractive but he was nothing like you imagined. He was angelic, godlike even and you could feel yourself already being drawn to him.

- Lestat was very pleased when he saw the looks you were giving each other but soon became distressed when Louis avoided you. He had gotten that ungrateful whiner a larger coffin that was now going to go to waste because he was too obsessed with being miserable. 

- You had fallen for him the moment you saw him but after time you began to think Louis hated you. Lestat reassured you it wasn’t true but you found yourself not wanting to be in the house with them knowing the man you who you cared so deeply for didn’t even want to look at you. 

- You packed your bags and kissed Claudia goodbye, disappearing as Louis and Lestat were gone. You were sure they would take good care of her and she seemed far more attached to them then she was with you. 

- To say Lestat was furious when they arrived home would be the understatement of the century. Claudia really hadn’t put up much of a fight when he demanded she tell him where you went.

- You hadn’t gotten far when Lestat came and angrily dragged you back, muttering about the predicament he had on his hands. He sat you down once you were “home” and asked if you wanted him to turn someone for you so that you would stay; he had grown quite attached to you himself. 

- The two of you were shocked when Louis shouted out a harsh “No!” from his spot in the corner of the room. You quickly turned to look at him, watching as he stalked over to you and pulled you along with him as he made his way to his room. Once he closed the door he pushed you against it and kissed you.

- You still to this day aren’t sure exactly what came over him but you think he had gotten jealous even thinking about you wanting another person. It’s the only explanation that really makes sense to you. 

 “I thought you hated me.”

 “I tried.”

- You spent the night making up for lost time and spent the day in his coffin  with Claudia sneaking in alongside you in the early evening. 

- You were much like Claudia, sleeping for a few hours in your own coffin before  carefully creeping into his where he would wrap you up tightly in his arms. You cherished the quiet moments you spent huddled up with him waiting for the sun to disappear below the horizon.  

- He’s very protective of you. After what happened to his wife and child along with him knowing just how evil Lestat could be at times he most definitely does not like leaving you alone.

- He’s not extremely jealous or possessive but would rather you stay by his side and keep away from humans or other vampires you may come across. 

- You’re going to be spoiled; anything you could ever dream of would be yours the instant you implied that you were even slightly interested in it. 

- There’s constant affection coming from him. He hasn’t been in a proper relationship in centuries and definitely misses the feel of it. On that note ~ he has been alone with Lestat for that very long amount of time and that calls for a great buildup of sexual tension and repressed urges.

- He loves watching you with Claudia or whenever you’re doing anything domestic. It has an odd soothing effect on him that he just can’t explain.

- You rarely fight but whenever it would happen it would be a very rough and emotion filled scene. You would give him the silent treatment and avoid him which would rightfully make him fairly upset and extremely tense especially when he knows you’re spending more time with Lestat.

- Sometimes you would creep into Lestats room when the sun is up; finding it hard to spend so long in solitude. Ever since you were turned you hadn’t really spent a night alone and before you and Louis got together you would stay with Lestat.

- Claudia would be the reason you spoke to him again. She would angrily march up to you and drag you behind her tiny body until you were in the same room as him.��He would stand up immediately and wrap his arms around you as he apologized, you couldn’t help yourself as you practically melted in his arms. 

- None of your arguments are about anything truly serious so it isn’t hard to forgive him. And if you’re ever the one needing to apologize after a fight just stand between his legs and cup his face in your hands while you give him your sincere apology, he’ll forgive you instantly it’s like magic. He can never really stay mad at you.

- If you ever fight with Lestat Louis finds it kind of amusing to watch; the two of you bickering is quite the sight to see. But Lestat is a sadist and enjoys watching you and Louis argue for an entirely different reason. 

- Him playing with your hair as you lay your head on his shoulder.

- His hand is always on your waist or holding your hand whenever you are out of the house. He wants to show everyone that he’s courting you and that you belong to him.

- He’s almost always the perfect gentleman. He always opens doors for you and lends you his hand when helping you into your carriage (I guess).

- There’s a very specific scene in my mind with him holding your hand as you walk down the steps of your carriage all the while he stares down a group of men who are ogling you. He’s just watching them closely before you call for his attention once more and he leads you to wherever you were going. (I hope this makes sense lol)

- There’s a lot of buildup before he kisses you ( just think of that scene with Armand in the movie when you probably thought they were about to kiss; love that scene).

- Really passionate kisses and spontaneous groping. He loves pinning you to things as well

- He’s a very honest person; he also can’t keep things from you for very long before he explodes from guilt. He’s an extremely guilty person in general; it’s just a fact.

- He’s incredibly strong and is always picking you up and spinning you around. He loves doing it when you’re dancing together usually as Claudia plays the piano.

- Him calling you darling, dear, my love, and sugar after a few centuries pass.

- Traveling with him and Claudia when the deed is done. 

- He tries to keep you away from Lestat for the most part; Lestat is extremely jealous of this and kisses you in front of him just to be petty and spiteful. A threesome will ensue at some point we all know it.Your boyfriend is his boyfriend and you are to be his as well. There is just no way Lestat would have you be just Louis’s and not his too.

- His eyes seem to constantly be on you which is honestly flattering considering how perfect he is.  

- Rubbing his shoulders as you sit behind him on a sofa. You usually do it to keep him calm/calm him down while Lestat annoys him or tries to argue. 

- He would feel an urge to kill anyone who hurts you even if they just accidentally bump into you,same goes for anyone who disrespects you; it’s usually because Lestats like a little devil on his shoulder.

- Comforting him when he gets upset about his wife and child. You’re always able to brighten him up and make him less melancholy.

- He’ll be telling you how much of a monster he is and how you should really not stay with him as he pulls you closer and snuggles into you.

- He loves laying on any squishy part of you. 

- There’s so many apologies for having you turned.

 “Louis if I wasn’t turned I wouldn’t have met you and that would have been the true tragedy.”

- He’s such a stressed fucking individual like just hold him in your arms and calm him down before he snaps in half. Although he can honestly be such a drama queen.

 “I love you.”

 “Say it again?”

 “I love you.”

 “…One more time please.”

- Kissing your neck but not to be an asshole like Lestat would.

- Him making sure Lestat doesn’t overstep any boundaries or manipulate you.

- He reassures you that he will only and always love you after he feeds because we can all see how sensual they look when they suck someones blood. 

 “You are mine right my love.”

 “Of course my dear.”

- Occasionally you wake up to roses scattered around your coffin. You’ll find him sitting on one of the many couches waiting for you to walk in with one of the softest smiles you’ve ever seen on his face. 

- Anything you ask; anything at all, he will do for you.

- Holding hands as you watch the sunrise in movies.

- He always comforts you. It doesn’t matter if you’re only slightly upset or extremely depressed; he’s always going to be there for you.

- Tight Hugs.

- Braiding or just playing with his hair, he pretends he doesn’t like it but he loves the feel of your hands in his hair.

- Hearing stories from when he was young; especially if you get together now a days rather than way back then. (We all have our own different fantasies)

- Him laying out on the balcony rail as you stand beside him; occasionally leaning over him and planting a kiss on his lips. It never fails to make him smile.

- Small smirks whenever you kiss his cheek.

- So many ‘I love you’s’ you’re drowning in love. As well as compliments all the time.

- It’s quite clear that you’re not going to be able to leave anytime soon. His little undead heart couldn’t take the loss.

“I need you my love.”

- You would stay together; just you, him and Claudia living out the rest of your eternal lives like husband and wife.

[mo-mo-and-porkchop]

41. Let me help you

44. You dont have to act like you are ok.

(Both tweaked a bit, but they're there 😊)

I'm not up to date so my memory of the timeline is foggy, but Hirst never cared about it anyway so it should be fine.

Tag @youbloodymadgenius (sorry this took so long. Hope you got a bunch of good stories for you birthday. 😊)

A soft knock rang out through her room. One she ignored. Her grief was still too fresh to enjoy any visitors; especially Oleg. "Go away," she called out to whoever was on the other side.

The reaction had been expected. He too knew the pain of losing a spouse - for a very different reasons of course, but he loved Freydis all the same and grief was grief. Ivar smiled quickly at the guard standing outside her door before knocking again. "Solveig? It is Ivar."

Ivar?

What was he doing outside her door?

Her curiosity overruled her desire to be left alone and she answered for him. "I do not wish to see anyone. Especially those responsible for Askold's death," she said flatly.

Ivar, to her, was just as guilty as Oleg. He sat and did nothing to cease Oleg's murderous antics. Nor to aid her as she was carted out of the dining hall to her new prison.

"I was not --"

"What do you want?" she cut in.

His jaw clenched slightly in annoyance. Remember she is still grieving. "I want to talk with you about Oleg...and Igor."

Solveig eyed him. That was not the answer she had expected. Although she wasn't sure what she had expected, but the fact that it was Ivar before her and not Oleg was already unexpected.

Her curiosity overruled her want for isolation and she stepped aside and let him in.

"Why are you here?" she asked leaning against the door after shutting it on the guard.

"I told you. I want to speak with you about Oleg and Igor," he replied a bit confused, though his irritation was agitated.

"That does not explain why you are in here. In Kiev."

He huffed and glanced at his feet momentarily, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "You do not waste time I see," he said bringing his eyes back to her, shifting slightly on his crutch.

"All things considered I may not have much time left."

After what Oleg had done to her husband she could only assume she was next on his list. For now however he needed someone to help look after Igor - a job she'd already been doing for years.

Alright. Fine.

"I am fleeing from the retribution of my brothers. Nothing more."

"Nothing more?"

He shook his head in reply.

She let the silence settle between them, watching for any indication he'd been untruthful. "And what does that have to do with Oleg or Igor?"

He didn't have to think hard for his answer. "Nothing," he lied easily.

"Then why are you here? Why do you need to speak with about them?"

He sighed, frustrated. Beating around the bush was getting him nowhere. He made his way to the edge of her bed and sat down. "You wish for revenge against Oleg, yes?"

"Should I not?"

He clenched his jaw in further annoyance. She just did not budge. Ivar had to shut his eyes momentarily to gather his anger before responding. "I want to help you do that," he risked admitting, opening his eyes and finding her once more. "If you will let me."

Her blood ran cold with his words. Her breath stilled. Everything around her blurred until only Ivar was left. Ivar the boneless. A ruthless, merciless, blood-thristy, northern king. And now, possibly, her gift from the Gods.

"Why?" she managed to choke out quietly.

He broke eye contact as the memory of his mother cam rushing forth. His hatred for Lagertha gripped at his chest. "Because I know what it is like to have someone you love taken from you," he replied, clearing his throat and returning to her gaze.

She considered his offer a moment before crossing the room and sitting on the bed along with him. Whatever reservations she had over his true intentions, in that moment, she knew he wasn't lying. She could see the pain in eyes no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He truly understood her need to avenge her husband.

Solveig rested her hand on his comfortingly; the two momentarily sharing the weight of the pain.

"What do you want to know?" she asked finally breaking the silence as her hand slid from atop his.

-------

Solveig, now allowed to walk freely among Kiev and its residents, was enjoying her time with Igor. She missed the days of lazy strolls though the market. She daydreamed of his imaginative play as a young boy through the streets of Novgorod. The image of her husband training him for battle flashed through her mind. Sadness gripped at her chest over his passing, but she held tight to the belief he was now feasting with other warriors in Valhalla - a fact held secret.

Oleg would not be pleased with her continual practice and he only just let her free. She needed to remain so for Igor's sake. The boy needed guidance that truly held his best interests. Solveig trusted Ivar no more than she trusted Oleg. She knew their alliance could only last so long before Ivar the Boneless returned to his sadistic glory. Same as Oleg. Those two men were some of the most feared for a reason.

And she'd be dammed if Igor turned out the same way.

"What do you want to have today?" she asked forcing a smile as they perused the goods of an exotic good stall. "I hear rumors of Kings wearing the finest colors and silks," she said playfully holding up a much-too-large tunic to him.

The young boy laughed softly before picking up some fruit and handing her one. She recorded the garb and thanked the vendors before continuting their stroll - unaware Oleg's spies were watching carefully among the crowd.

"Do you really think I will be King one day?"

After her conversation with Ivar she had been sure of it. He would overthrow Oleg and give Igor what was rightfully his. Then, just maybe, she could leave with his blessing and return home.

"The throne is yours. Oleg is merely keeping it warm for you," she replied with a small smile, pulling him in to a side hug.

As Igor looked through another stall her eyes wandered through the faces of Kiev's residents - landing on Ivar. He was speaking with a woman unknown to Solveig. She wore finely embroidered clothing, much fancier than those of the common people, and she seemed thoroughly uninterested in their conversation. Ivar, on the other hand, looked utterly destroyed when she left; his eyes never leaving her as she left him standing in the road.

-------

They were deep into a feast - most the crowd drunk, loud, and happy. Though Ivar remained unaffected by the crowd's joyfulness. He watched as Oleg celebrated his marriage with glee. His stomach turned whenever he showed her any sort of affection. His jaw clenched in both disgust and anger. He forced a smile to his face and rose his glass when Oleg caught his gaze.

"Why are you so fascinated with Princess Katya?" Solveig casually asked Ivar as she took a seat next to him, sipping her own drink. Sbe cooly followed an imaginary line to where his eyes looked and found Oleg staring back. She smirked and drank. "Do you wish to bed her?" she asked without glancing Ivar's way.

"What?" he asked, caught off guard, breaking away from Oleg and and finding her. "No," he huffed trying to hide his embarrassment over her question.

"Then why do your eyes always find her when she is near?" she asked once more, their gazes now met. "What is it that you see?" she asked, staring intently at his eyes.

His brow furrowed and he broke away. He felt as if she was searching his soul and he was uncomfortable. "She reminds me of someone."

"Who?"

His jaw clenched, this time from a sadness he never expected to feel over Freydis' death. She had betrayed him. She had deserved her death. Yet he still felt remorse for his actions. "My wife," he admitted quietly, forcing back the growing tightness in his chest.

Solveig's heart dropped with his words. Their was undeniable pain in his voice. She now understood his motive to help her in expedite Oleg's fate. "Where is she?"

He sighed and finally shifted to lean against the table, his back now to Oleg and his bride. "She is dead."

"Is she who you seek to avenge?"

"No," he replied with a small shake of his head.

His memories of Freydis played through his mind. Their first meeting. Their first kiss. His momentary joy over becoming a father. All of it wasted with her betrayal. His jaw clenched and he stared into his drink.

"I must avenge my mother's death," he admitted turning to her, sadness in his eyes.

After all the horrible stories of Ivar the Boneless, here he sat vulnerable and human; the hurt in his expression poorly hidden. Solveig suddenly felt pity for him. "You do not have to hide your sorrow," she offered compassionately. "Mourn her," she added placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "Free all of your grief and then the Gods will let you have your revenge. She let her words hang in the balance between them before leaving to congratulate the happy couple and heading to her room.

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 2x08 “Into the Deep” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19 1x20 1x21 1x22 2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06 2x07

We get to see more of the Burning Red Room this week and David decides to go under a sleeping curse to relay the message to his wife and daughter better than Henry’s been doing. And Hook goes back to Cora and gets back into her good graces in a spectacular way. Honestly, this episode is a bridge episode to me. It doesn’t have any big revelations and it’s basically just the characters trying to communicate information to each other. And considering this is my third watch through, I’d forgotten most of what was going to happen in this episode, including the fact that David went under the sleeping curse.

Summary: Hook and Cora have a falling out, but Hook manages to steal Aurora’s heart so their deal to get to Storybrooke is back on. Mary Margaret, Emma and Mulan go to make more poppy powder so Mary Margaret can go back to the Burning Red Room to communicate with Henry. David decides he doesn’t want Henry to continue to suffer, so he goes under a sleeping curse to get the information to the girls.

Opening: Zombie Army

Character Observations:

Cora: She’s had enough of Hook’s bullshit once he gets down from the beanstalk without the compass. She cuts him out of the deal to go to Storybrooke and poufs herself back to the safe haven where she makes all the dead people rise. There’s the zombie army I was expecting back in The Doctor. The zombies easily find Emma and crew, and in the scuffle, Aurora is taken captive and brought back to the safe haven dungeon. Cora is being all nice and bringing her food but Aurora informs her that Emma and Mary Margaret won’t trade her for the compass. Cora doesn’t think they’ll let an innocent die. Well, Mary Margaret might not, Emma is another story. I guess Cora assumes that Emma is like her mother, sweet and full of hope. Cora figures out that Aurora wanted to go to Storybrooke with Emma and Mary Margaret and chastises her for forgetting Phillip already. She then tells Aurora that Phillip’s soul is in another realm, and if she helps her, she’ll tell her how to bring Phillip back. Cora gets a plate full of food kicked at her for that, so she throws Aurora into a rock and knocks her out. She then sends a Crow? Raven? to Mary Margaret letting her know that Aurora will die at sunset if they don’t bring her the compass. We next see Cora in the dungeon when Hook has released Aurora. She’s rightfully angry. She has that really scary anger in which she’s completely calm the entire time she’s talking to you, and that makes it even worse because screaming would be better, magic would be better, but no, she’s just calm (my dad was like this, never raised his voice, scary as hell, that’s probably why he was such a good principal). She pins Hook to the wall and threatens to kill him again. I really thought Cora would have been a kill first, ask questions later type person. Hook already seems to know that she won’t kill him right away and that he’ll be able to have his say, along with a few other innuendos. He gets her attention by telling her he brought her a gift and that gives her pause. She is immensely pleased that Hook brought her Aurora’s heart. She speaks through it, as Aurora, letting the women know how Hook helped her escape and how he might fancy Emma. Cora tells Hook that Emma won’t trust him, and he knows that, but it’s enough that he freed Aurora. Cora is impressed, which I’m sure is very rare for her, and agrees to let Hook come to Storybrooke with her again.

Hook: It’s about 11-12 hours after Emma left Hook chained at the top of the beanstalk (10 hours plus however long it takes to climb down), and he’s finally free and back in the Enchanted Forest. And, oh look, Cora’s waiting for him, how sweet, but not. Turns out Hook stole the enchanted bracelets from Cora that he and Emma used to go up the beanstalk. She wants to compass but he doesn’t have it. Cora’s tired of Hook’s games, realizes that he chose Emma for reasons and now he has to face the consequences. Hook is all swagger and sass when he asks if Cora is going to kill him. Seriously, does this guy have a death wish? Cora could snap his neck instantly and not give a damn. But Cora won’t kill him, she’ll just leave him behind so he can’t get to Storybrooke and never get his revenge against Rumplestiltskin. Hook looks like he’s an elementary school kid getting yelled at by the teacher, but then he turns on the charm again and he looks like he’s about to kiss Cora or something else with the way he says ‘discuss things’, ew. Cora isn’t falling for his pretty face and basically says she’s done with him. Hook is understandably upset and tries to stab her with his hook but she poufs away and he’s left on the ground. The next time we see Hook he’s waking Aurora up after Cora took her hostage. He’s letting her go as retaliation for Cora not letting him get his revenge. Aurora obviously thinks this is some sort of ruse, but Hook says he doesn’t like being double-crossed (um, you double-crossed Cora first, Hook). He’s all dark and broody about it, but then, just as Aurora’s about to leave, he gets all sheepish when asking if Aurora will ask Emma if their deal is still on. He’ll get the ashes if she brings him along. Cora comes into the dungeon and finds Aurora gone and Hook there. How Cora didn’t kill Hook right away is beyond me. Maybe his pretty face does buy him time. He gets pinned against the wall for his behavior and even when she takes his Hook and skims it over his chest, he still has no worries about being killed. He just looks annoyed. Cora says she has to kill him now, but he tells her she should thank him because he brought her a gift. Turns out, Hook knows how to take a heart, and he took Aurora’s heart! Cora uses it to give false information to Emma, Mary Margaret, and Mulan, including that Hook may care for Emma. Cora tells Hook that Emma still won’t trust him, he says that letting Aurora go will at least make her think he’s genuine. Cora let’s him back in on the scheme of going to Storybrooke.

Mary Margaret: She’s been on the back burner for much of this season, but tonight she gets to shine. She admits that she has been to the Burning Red Room as well and figures out it must be a side effect of the sleeping curse. Aurora’s mad that Mary Margaret didn’t say anything when she described it to her. Mary Margaret was protecting her and didn’t want to scare her. Said like a true mother, and what? How is not potentially bonding with Aurora over a shared experience protecting her? If anything, it would give Aurora hope that the dreams would fade just like Mary Margaret said they would. Aurora accuses Mary Margaret of being a liar and wonders what else she lied about and Mary Margaret gets really offended. Her expression is hilarious. Mary Margaret tells Emma they have a way home now because they can find out how to defeat Cora from Rumplestiltskin.  Emma finally catches on that they can communicate with Henry through Aurora in the Burning Red Room. They all go to find some shelter so  Aurora can meet with Henry in the room again. Emma is blaming herself for Henry being in the Red Room, but Mary Margaret tells her it will be okay. Unfortunately, this is when the zombie army decides to attack, so not everything is okay. They have to quickly wake up Aurora so they can run. Mary Margaret fends them off with her bow and then shoots one who tries to steal the compass from Emma. Mary Margaret and Emma make a run for it and catch up with Mulan who tells them Aurora’s gone. While regrouping, they receive the message from Cora about trading Aurora for the compass. Mulan demands the compass, but Emma won’t give it to her. Mary Margaret says they need to find a way to rescue Aurora and keep the compass. Mary Margaret decides she needs to go meet with Henry in the Netherworld and she’ll be able to get back there if she’s put under with poppy powder. Mulan doesn’t have any left but knows where she can get a poppy to make some. Emma notices Mary Margaret looks nervous and asks how bad the Netherworld is. Mary Margaret explains it, but more in terms of emotions and feelings, which makes Emma feel uber guilty about Henry going there. Mary Margaret tries to convince her that no one believed Henry’s stories, but Emma’s feeling that as his mom she should have. Mary Margaret one ups her by saying that she’s the guilty one because she told Cora about Daniel and none of this would have happened if she’d kept her mouth shut. Emma can blame herself all she wants, but it won’t get them home. Emma questions Mary Margaret about whether she thinks they’ll really make it home. She says that David taught her never to give up. The poppy powder is ready and Mary Margaret goes to sleep. She’s yelling for Henry, who isn’t there, when David drops in, literally. She gets the info about going to Rumplestiltskin’s cell for the squid ink and then realizes that David shouldn’t be able to be there. She looks so sad when David says he willingly took a sleeping curse just so he could see her. He leaps over the flames to kiss her and be free from the curse, but it’s just their souls, so they can’t actually kiss. Mary Margaret realizes she’s waking up, but David tells her they will find each other as they always do. Mary Margaret tells him they tend to lose each other a lot too and will this keep happening. David tells her it won’t. He tells her to have faith. Mary Margaret is starting to wake up and she’s crying because she doesn’t want to leave David. Mary Margaret awakes and immediately starts freaking out. She wants more poppy powder so she can see David. She explains to Emma what happened. They have to get back so she can wake up David. Emma assures her they will. She’s dispensing Mary Margaret’s advice about having faith. Mary Margaret tells Emma what they need to get to stop Cora and they prepare to leave when Emma realizes that Mulan took the compass and ran while they were sleeping. Emma and Mary Margaret manage to catch up to Mulan and Mary Margaret fires a warning arrow. Mulan says she’ll give the compass back but attempts to pull her sword. Mary Margaret is not having it. She tackles Mulan and tells her they found out how to defeat Cora. Mulan doesn’t want to do another journey, she just wants to rescue Aurora.  Mary Margaret is in Mulan’s face and Mulan basically dares Mary Margaret to stab her with her arrow. There’s a brief hesitation, like she expects Mulan to back down, but then she grabs the arrow, and thankfully, Aurora shows up at that exact moment to prevent Mary Margaret from becoming a murderer. Aurora tells them about Hook and her escape and they tell her they’re heading to Rumplestiltskin’s cell.

David: He’s just a little ball of sunshine in this episode, isn’t he. Going on about faith and hope. Seems Mary Margaret rubbed off on him pretty good. He’s pretty much Henry’s cheerleader about going into the Netherworld until Henry gets hurt. Then he decides he’ll go in. And for some reason he’s convinced Mary Margaret will be there and not Aurora. What? Where would he even get that idea? As far as he knows, Mary Margaret hadn’t had those dreams in years. Why would she suddenly be able to get back to the Netherworld now? And also, how does this prevent Henry from going there in his dreams? Is Henry just not going to sleep anymore? This whole plan is ludicrous! Also, David makes this plan before he finds out that he doesn’t go directly to the Burning Red Room and Gold doesn’t even tell him that until he’s literally about to prick his damn finger. What if there was no way to get there? What if being in the sleeping curse and being in the Netherworld are two totally separate realms? David tells everyone not to worry, because Mary Margaret will be there and kiss him awake. Which, really, is everyone taking stupid pills this episode? They are in a dream, they are not physically in the Netherworld. Why would anyone think this would work? Ugh! Henry gives him his amulet to control things (which Henry used so well) after giving another faith speech to Henry. So David pricks his finger (which for some reason has to administered through a spinning wheel spindle while it’s spinning) and falls asleep. He finds himself in a dark room with just a torch for light and realizes he’s in a circular room filled with mirrors. The amulet starts glowing, leading David to realize the Burning Red Room is under him. The floor is hot when he touches it. How convenient. And he’s able to get through by using the torch to break through the ceiling. He breaks the amulet in the process of falling through the ceiling. He finds Mary Margaret and tries to get to her but the flames are in the way. Mary Margaret does her whole ‘You found me’ thing, and David tells her about the squid ink hidden in Rumplestiltskin’s cell. He tells her to find it and come home. Mary Margaret finally realizes that David shouldn’t be there, and he admits he took a Sleeping Curse to see her and protect Henry. David tells her they need to kiss to wake him up. He leaps the flames in an over dramatic fashion to kiss Mary Margaret, but when they go to kiss they realize they aren’t really there and they can’t kiss. Again, how did no one foresee this? Mary Margaret is also starting to wake up and she’s scared. David reminds her that they always find each other and Mary Margaret reminds him that they keep losing each other too. He tells her to have faith. He is now stuck in the Netherworld under the Sleeping Curse until Mary Margaret is able to come home.

Mulan/Aurora: Emma and Mary Margaret show a picture of Henry to Aurora who confirms that it’s him in her dream. Aurora is confused about how she’s dreaming of Emma’s son, but Mary Margaret admits that the room is a side effect of the Sleeping Curse, and since they’ve all been under it, that’s why they go there. Aurora wonders what else Mary Margaret has been lying about since she didn’t admit to being there before when Aurora talked about it. Mary Margaret figures out that Aurora can now speak to Henry when asleep, so Aurora goes back to sleep to talk to Henry again. She tells him that he needs to speak to Rumplestiltskin and find out how to defeat Cora. The princess crew look for higher ground for the next time Aurora needs to meet with Henry (they planned to both fall asleep and meet in 2 hours). Aurora gets her shawl caught on a bush and Mulan wants to know if something is wrong. Aurora says she’s just caught, but Mulan is talking about her arm which she’s hiding under her shawl. It’s burned from the Burning Red Room. She plays it off to Mulan like she brushed it against a poisoned leaf, but Mulan is too smart for that. Mulan tells her she shouldn’t do this if it’s hurting her and Aurora tells her she doesn’t have much of a choice. Mulan reminds her that she vowed to Prince Phillip that she’d protect her, not have her risk her life for strangers to get to another land. Aurora wants to help because Phillip and Mulan risked their lives to save her from the Sleeping Curse. She wants to help others in the same way now. Mulan doesn’t seem too happy about this. Mulan stands guard while Aurora goes back to sleep. Henry is trying to tell Aurora what they need to do to defeat Cora but the flames are too much. Aurora keeps hearing her name called by a distorted voice above her and then is whisked away by a tornado, and she awakes to Mulan shaking her. Aurora is upset that she didn’t get the info from Henry, but they have bigger problems. The zombie horde has found them! In the scuffle, Mulan and Aurora take off, separating themselves from Emma and Mary Margaret. Mulan is attacked when she trips over a tree trunk. She fights off the zombie, but Aurora has been captured! Mulan finds Emma and Mary Margaret and lets them know that Aurora is gone. Aurora is in the dungeon at the safe haven. She seems pretty calm for being captured, especially when Cora comes in with food. Aurora immediately thinks it’s poisoned, but Cora wants her alive to trade for the compass. This is the most personality we’ve seen from Aurora. Cora keeps calling her plucky. She’s being a downright bitch. Good for you, Aurora. She tells Cora that they wouldn't trade her for the compass. They barely know her, why would they trade her? Cora says they won’t let an innocent die, but Aurora isn’t convinced, or at least, makes it look like she doesn’t care. Cora figures out that Aurora wanted to go through the portal with them and start a new life. She can’t believe Aurora’s over Phillip so quickly. Aurora says Phillips is with her every day and if she could bring him back she would. Cora says there is possibly a way to bring him back if Aurora helps her out, but Aurora continues being a bitch (in a good way), by kicking her food plate at Cora and telling her she’ll never help her. Cora throws her into the rock wall and knocks her out. She sends the others a message that she will kill Aurora if they don’t bring the compass by sundown. Mulan demands the compass from Emma and is outraged that they might put Aurora’s life over it. Mary Margaret says they need to find a way to rescue Aurora and keep the compass, but Mulan vowed that she’d protect Aurora. She tries to rip the compass out of Emma’s hand, but Emma tells her to go find her own. Mary Margaret breaks up the squabbling by asking Mulan if she can just give them some time to defeat Cora before making the trade. Mulan reminds them that their link to Henry is gone, but Mary Margaret thinks she can get into a deep enough sleep, with the help of the poppy powder, to reach Henry. Mulan is out, she used the last on the giant. Mary Margaret tells her to make some more. Mulan tells them the poppy is rare in this land, but she knows where they can get some, and they’ll make it back before sundown. Aurora wakens in the dungeon to Hook trying to wake her up. She thinks he’s here to kill her. He tells her waking her up wouldn’t be the best course of action for that. He lets her go. Aurora, of course, questions this, as he’s one of the bad guys, but he’s doing it to get back at Cora for not taking him to Storybrooke. He also tells Aurora to tell Emma he still wants their deal. He’ll get the ashes if they take him along. Aurora leaves. Mulan makes the poppy powder for Mary Margaret and then steals the compass while she and Emma sleep. We get a nice little slow mo shot of Mulan looking at the compass while running through the woods. They catch up with her by shooting an arrow as a warning. She makes to go get the compass but then reaches for her sword. Mary Margaret tackles her. Mulan basically dares Mary Margaret to kill her because she’s not giving up the compass and Aurora shows up before Mary Margaret actually does it. She lets them know about Hook and how he was very upset about what Emma did and how they could defeat Cora together if she just trusted him a little. But it’s not Aurora actually speaking, Cora is speaking through her stolen heart! Aurora asks if they found a way to defeat Cora and Emma informs her they have to go to Rumplestiltskin’s cell. So off they go.

Emma: She is feeling loads of guilt this episode. She blames herself for Henry being in the Netherworld while he sleeps because she didn’t believe him about being the Savior and the curse. She shows her guilt to Mary Margaret numerous times before Mary Margaret gets tired of it and says she shouldn’t feel guilty over what happened to Henry. No one would have believed that story. And besides, if you want to blame someone, blame her because she told Cora about Regina’s true love, Daniel, and that caused Cora to kill him and this whole thing to start. Emma finally decides they just need to blame Regina, which is completely where the blame needs to be placed.

Regina/Henry/Gold: Aurora tells Henry that his mom and grandmother are with him. He tells Regina and David who are sleeping in his room with him. David tells him having faith worked and they’ll find a way to get them home. Henry tells them they need to defeat someone to get home, Regina’s mother. Gold and Belle are on a date at Granny’s. Belle seems to be oblivious to the gossip going on around them that is about them. Granny makes some quips to Gold about dark magic and Gold reminds Belle that he has a complicated relationship with just about everyone in the town. Belle points out to him that it took her awhile to warm up to him as well. It’s really cute to see Gold actually courting Belle instead of manipulating her. Regina interrupts their date, which Gold is not happy about. Granny tries to clear the restaurant thinking there is going to be some sort of battle between the two. Regina claims they’ll be civil to each other. Gold reminds Belle that Regina was the woman who locked her up for 28 years. Belle attempts to leave but Gold insists she stay. Gold says Regina won’t get what she wants from him. Regina says it’s the one thing that may unite them and Gold is doubtful. Regina tells him Cora is trying to get to their land. Gold thought she was dead and that Regina saw the body.  Apparently she faked it. Gold doesn't seem to be as worried as Regina, he can handle Cora. And he won the last time he was up against her. Regina points out that he has Belle this time and she is his weakness. Regina is actually sweet by bringing Henry his blanket for his next Netherworld meeting with Aurora. It’s nice seeing some real growth from her. Henry asks if she’s really powerful. Gold says yes, but not as powerful as him. Regina says that’s debatable, but Gold says it’s not. I mean, unless she can’t be killed and can live forever like Gold, then no, she’s not more powerful. David wants to make sure Henry’s up to this, but Henry is tired of sitting on the sidelines. He wants to be a hero. David wants him to realize that being a hero also means knowing when to back away. Gold tells Henry the info he needs in the form of a bedtime story. He puts Henry to sleep with magic. Henry tries to tell Aurora the information, but the flames are too rough (use the damn amulet!) and Aurora gets sucked out before she can hear what he’s trying to tell her. He gets his arm burned in the process when he wakes up. Gold heals the burn with magic. Gold says because they are trying to stay in the Netherworld, instead of away from it, there are risks. And apparently waking Aurora before she was ready caused the injury somehow (what?). David and Regina don’t want Henry going back in, but Gold is adamant they get the info to Emma and Mary Margaret, otherwise Cora will be coming to Storybrooke. Regina says Aurora is gone so how can they send Henry back with no one there to receive their message? How about you wait until night time, when they’d normally be sleeping, and then they can send the message? Or wait a few hours and see if she’s back?  And that’s when David assumes that Mary Margaret will get herself there. Even Regina thinks that’s the dumbest thing she’s ever heard. David wants to go in Henry’s place, but Gold reminds him that he’s never been under a Sleeping Curse. David wants Gold to put him under one and Gold says he may never wake up because there’s no guarantee Mary Margaret will get back to kiss him. But David thinks they’ll be able to kiss in the Netherworld, which, really, Gold should have known this wouldn’t work, and they agree to put him under. Henry watches Regina make the Sleeping Curse potion. Henry wants to know if Regina’s been using magic. She swears she hasn’t except to stop Daniel. Henry’s just glad she’s using it to help people now. Henry wants to know if David will be okay under the curse. Regina says he’ll be asleep and unable to die in there, which I guess makes Henry feel better. Henry doesn’t want David to go in. He’s already been under the curse, but Regina reiterates that she and David value his safety first. So, is Henry just done with the Netherworld? He doesn’t want to go there and he won’t? This makes no sense!!! Regina says that his grandparents always find each other, so David will be safe. Hey, Regina actually said that lovingly and with no sarcasm whatsoever. Regina takes the spindle needle and places it in the potion which absorbs it. Henry hugs David and asks how he knows this will work. David gives him the faith speech and Henry gives him his amulet. Gold then tells David that he won’t be going to the Burning Red Room right away. He has to find it on his own because that’s only for the people who’ve already been under the sleeping curse. This would have been nice information to know at the beginning of the plan! Henry, Regina, and Gold wait for David to wake up.

Questions:

Did no one go into Lancelot’s quarters while at the safe haven? How can Cora just have a heart vault sitting out where anyone could see it? Was it cloaked?

I’m confused about the zombie army. Were those people really dead or was Cora making them pretend to be? The heart she took out of the vault was not glowing until she blew on it, but the people obviously aren’t alive. Did she enchant dead hearts somehow?

Does Emma just randomly keep a picture of Henry in her pocket?

How are Emma, Mary Margaret, Mulan and Aurora keeping their clothes so clean, their hair so nice, and their make up so fresh?

Why aren’t you controlling the fire Henry?

Did Henry explain to Aurora that the Burning Red Room was called the Netherworld? Mary Margaret and Mulan both start calling it the Netherworld after Aurora talks to Henry and lets them know Emma and Mary Margaret are okay.

Does Mulan not know who Snow White is? She makes it sound like she and Aurora are just helping some random strangers, not royalty.

Why does David decide to go under the sleeping curse to protect Henry? Won’t Henry be going to the Netherworld in his dreams regardless?

If Regina knows how to make a Sleeping Curse, why did she need to steal the apple back from the Blind Witch in True North? Could she not have made another batch? Or was there something special about that apple?

Why is Mary Margaret attempting to fall asleep and talk to Henry during the day? Why would they expect Henry to still be asleep?

Why did the needle need to be on the spindle and the spinning wheel spinning for David to prick his finger? Or was that just for dramatic effect?

Does everyone go to the mirror room when under the Sleeping Curse? Didn’t Regina say the Sleeping Curse would make you dream of all your regrets in An Apple Red as Blood? 

Shouldn’t Gold have known that kissing in the Netherworld wouldn’t work?

Will Regina be taking care of Henry now that David is under the Sleeping Curse?

How the hell did Aurora find Emma, Mary Margaret, and Mulan in the middle of the woods?

How can Hook take a heart? Does he have magic we don’t know about?

Can anyone control someone through their heart? Hook took the heart but Cora is the one speaking through it.

Observations:

Cora kept her heart collection at the safe haven in one of the makeshift houses.

According to the patrons in the diner, this is Gold and Belle’s third date.

Cora is supposed to be dead and Regina saw her body.

Aurora falls asleep really fast.

The ink in the quill that can stun dark magic is from a squid that lives at the bottom of a bottomless ocean, that’s impossible to find unless you’re a mermaid, or Rumplestiltskin.

Rumplestiltskin left squid ink in his cell.

We are reminded that Mary Margaret can talk to birds.

David starts out in a mirrored room above the Burning Red Room when he’s under the Sleeping Curse.

The amulet is broken in the real world after David breaks it in the Sleeping Curse.

You can talk through a person and listen in on their conversations if you control their heart.

Once Upon a Time Firsts:

Healing an injury with magic.

I think this is our first Captain Floor moment!

Well, that was longer than I expected, especially since this was an information dump episode. I did like the growth that we saw from Regina and the juxtaposition of her trying to change with Emma finally realizing that Regina is to blame for everything. That will be quite the reunion when they get back. So Storybrooke is now left without any law enforcement since David is asleep, and no one to keep either Regina or Gold in check. Oh, boy! No one really thought this through, did they? Mainly, I just felt that David was really dumb, and Gold wasn’t too far behind.

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes​​ @thisonesatellite​​ @justbecauseyoubelievesomething​​ @laschatzi​​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @mariakov81

[johntwick]

dinner with a killer

Little note: Three things!! First: i’m tagging this as an x reader because I don’t rly describe the girl and never use a name. so technically it can be read as an x reader. Second: I believe john is a huge hypocrite and probably wouldnt befriend a serial killer bc that’s (lol) “wrong” but it’s a fanfic so who cares!!? Third: This is loosely based off Hannibal (the scene with Tobias) so yeah there’s my inspo. Enjoy!

Word count: 2.4k Reading time:11mins

The sound of metal hitting glass plates echoed throughout the almost silent room. Some classical piece John didn't know flowed from a radio on low volume as they ate together in peace. He was having dinner with a woman he had met at the library a couple months before his wife died. He felt guilty that he had gotten so close with another woman while Helen was dying, but as a former assassin, he didn’t have many friends. There was Marcus at the time, still, he didn’t really open up to him about his ‘feelings’.

John ran into her while he was checking a book out. She was beautiful and he felt disgusting for thinking that. Her knowledge on books amazed John. Once he stated that he worked on books for a hobby he knew that wouldn’t be the last time he saw her. And that wasn’t the last time he saw her. They met for coffee multiple times and during those times they talked about books, she talked about her problems and John talked about how hard it was watching Helen die right before him. He never cheated on Helen. Never. He wasn’t and never will be that kind of guy.

Even though eating a homemade dinner with a friend was not cheating, John felt that it would be going a little too far. So every invitation to eat at her house he declined. Until the night Helen died, he called her in a moment of grieving desperation, and asked if he was still welcomed. They made plans and hung up.

Then Viggo’s stupid son, Losef, had to mess with John. That really screwed with his retirement plan. Thankfully he was able to take care of things in time for the dinner. He knew he’d still have a few things to take care of but he was still injured from his fight with Viggo and needed to heal.

John now sat and watched her as they both ate. He saw her eyes flutter, her muscles move and twitch, and a satisfied smirk appear upon on her face every bite she took. There was almost an unnerving, familiar feeling about her that was bugging him but, besides that, she was perfect. Too perfect. Maybe that was it.

“Don't like your meal John? You're worrying me. You've spent so much time staring at me you've hardly taken a bite.” She teased with a playfulness gleaming in her eyes. John hadn't realized she knew he was staring at her. He felt himself heat up at his carelessness. She lifted her head and stared at him, still smirking, for a few seconds before she looked down and took another bite of her food.

“Uh, no. Sorry. It's very good, actually.” John took another bite as he watched her swell with so much pride even he could practically feel it. This time a full smile spread across her lips.

“Thank you. It’s chicken that’s actually been baked encased in lotus leaves and clay. They call it “Beggar's chicken”. The story behind it is pretty interesting.” She put her fork and knife down. John continued eating as she started on the historical context of the name.

“There are many variations of the story but they all start with a beggar. This beggar stole a chicken and the farmer went after him.” She paused to take a sip of her wine.

“The beggar buried the chicken in mud and later that day when he knew the farmer was gone he dug it up. He was so hungry he didn’t wash it off. He just cooked it like that.”

John listened as she went on about how well cooked it was and how the beggar showed everyone in the town and it even eventually got to the emperor.

“Well I guess we should be thanking the beggar for this meal tonight.” He jest, causing her to giggle.

“You know growing up, I always wanted to be a chef.”

John gave her a fake surprised look and the woman

brought her hand up to hide her laugh.

“I know. Not very surprising.” The atmosphere in the room became uncomfortable. John felt it and he knew she could too.

“Other things got in the way. So I studied and specialized in human behavior.” She turned and stared at John. Her eyes held no emotion as the smile faded from her face. She looked as though she wasn’t there, and mentally John knew she wasn’t. So he called her name in his gentle but raspy voice and leaned slightly over the table to get close to her.

“I can’t figure it out John. All night I’ve been sitting here talking and enjoying this very well cooked meal with you. I could basically hear the thoughts in your head. I still can’t figure it out.” She was astonished.

John pulled back and leaned in his chair and narrowed his eyes at her. Why was she acting so strange?

“What can’t you figure out?” He asked, emotions absent in his voice.

Eyes just like his peered into him as she brought her head up.

“I know you’ve killed people. I’ve known since we first met, but how you just pushed it aside for love.. I just can't figure that out. ”

John could have sworn his heart dropped. His anxiety spiked as thousands upon thousands of thoughts raced through his brain. Nobody would ever even know John was royally losing his shit on the inside because on the outside he stayed calm. Just like he was trained. There was no, twitching of the eyes, biting or licking of the lips, shaking or even leg jumping. Nothing.

“It’s rude to ignore somebody John.” Though her tone was the same chaff, there was a bit of maliciousness in it.

John knew she wasn’t stupid and he most definitely was not going to offend her by acting as though she had no idea what she was talking about. This is not how he planned the night going.

“How did you figure out? That I’ve — killed people.” He questioned, not losing eye contact with her.

She let out a sigh before answering.

“Because I’ve killed people too. Mostly the people who annoy or bore me.”

Ah. So that’s what felt so familiar.

John still didn’t change his expression much but he did raise an eyebrow in question.

“Really?” He drawled out, doubt evident in his voice.

“No real reason to lie here. I even thought of killing you.”

At this statement John was beginning to start sorting through all the possibilities of what could go down, what he could use as a weapon if need be. It was almost as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I’m not going to kill you John. Though the thought was tempting.”

She tapped her chin in thought and pursed her lips while looking him up and down. She was analyzing him. How he sat, how he spoke, his movements, she even watched his breathing. Although to the average person it wouldn’t have seemed like John changed one bit, but she wasn’t just any average person.

“You’re much stronger than me. I could never take you down physically.”

John felt a sense of pride at that statement and loosened up a bit. The woman stood up and started to clear their plates from the table as he stayed sat there. How did he not see it? This was something John grew up and had ingrained into his brain. At The Continental he always knew who was there for business. So how couldn’t he see it on this plain girl? He was brought out of his thoughts by a mug being placed in front of him. It was just coffee but rightfully so, John was skeptical.

“I didn’t spike the coffee John. This coffee is very expensive and I get it imported monthly. I’d never ruin it like that.”

The woman almost seemed offended as if that was such a ludicrous idea. John looked to the coffee to her to the coffee and back to her again. She raised her eyebrow and tilted her head.

“Something wrong with the coffee? You haven’t spoken a word since the huge reveal. I don’t scare you do I?”

She had to stop the chuckle from coming out. Yes. In a way John was scared of her. How easily she hid it, how normal she seemed. He wasn’t scared because he knew he could take her if she attacked him. He probably wouldn’t even need his weapon. Just his hands. She scared him because of how easily she tricked him. John willingly came to her house and ate dinner with her. He ate her food that could have been poisoned all while he had no idea. That’s what scared him.

“I don’t take my coffee black.” Is all he said.

She put her hand over her mouth in mock surprise.

“I didn’t know that. I would’ve taken you for a “just black” kind of guy.”

“Well there’s a lot that people don’t know about me.” John let out a short breathy chuckle.

“You’re not wrong about that. How do you take it?” She smiled and stood up.

“Two sugars and one cream. Please.”

She left with a wink and then hurried back. John took the cream and sugar from her and started to add his preferred amount. When he looked up she had her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands as she watched him intently. It seems that’s all they’d been doing tonight. Watching each other. John finally broke the silence.

“So what made you comfortable enough to tell me?”

Her eyes closed for a brief moment before she removed her head from her hands and her elbows from the table. She gave John a look of disbelief.

“You’re a killer and so am I. We have that in common. Don’t you ever just want to share that part of you with anyone? Doesn’t it get tiring? Always having to hide that from people?”

He thought about what she said for a moment. Yes it did get pretty tiring. It’s very hard to take the way you grew up, all the training, fighting and killing, and forget all about it. Although he wants to run from this part of him, to retire and leave it all behind him, he knows he can’t. He understood how she felt. Going out and meeting someone in the normal, law abiding world, was sometimes difficult. Nobody would ever know the really real you. Then there were people in the underground network where people only knew you based on your skill. Not your interests and disinterests. That didn’t mean they were the same. John never killed someone just because they inconvenienced him. Ok maybe he had but still, the people he killed were no saints.

“We all hide parts of ourselves. Hiding this isn’t anything different.”

The woman rolled her eyes and made a ‘tsk’ noise with her tongue and the back of her teeth. She started to rub her hands together.

“So, when you are doing basic human activities, let’s say, shopping at the mall, nobody ever makes you angry? You never get the split thought about how easy it would be to kill them?”

Now John rolled his eyes.

“I’m not saying that. I just have the control not to act on it. Making it easier to hide.”

She brought her hand up to her cheek and leaned against it. Her other hand started drumming against the table in a lazy manner. John could tell she was analyzing him again. She squinted her eyes at him.

“That’s not true. Did you not kill - what was it? - like eighty men? All over a dog? That doesn’t seem like much control to me, John.”

John took a deep breath and shook his head. It was really getting annoying how many times people had brought that up. That was different. There was much more to that than it just being a dog. Also how the hell did so many people know about it already?

“That was different. I am mourning my wife. That was the last gift she could possibly give me and it was ripped away.”

God, John didn’t know that last time he actually talked so much with someone. Why was he even still here? Why was he defending himself and sitting here, drinking coffee, with a murderer?

“It’s because deep inside you, you like it. Nobody, goes and kills so many people just because grief and mourning. You know who kills that many people? A killer.”

She states this in a matter of fact. It feels strange and foreign to John, that she can read him so well. Even Helen couldn’t read him this well. God how he loved Helen but when he told her of his past all she had was an attitude of ‘well let’s move on from that.’ Part of him wanted that but part of him mourned that. John didn’t know what he wanted. He submerged and hid away a part of himself for her. As guilty as it made him feel sometimes he wondered what their relationship would’ve been like if she had supportive of it.

That being said John quit mostly to protect her, not just because she wanted him to. Helen never even flat out told him to stop, but it was definitely implied. He never wanted to have to worry about someone going after her for something that happened in the past.

“John, you can’t always run from this part of you. I think it’s time you embrace it. You can live a normal life with me and still continue feeding into this dark desire. You don’t have to worry about me ever. I can handle myself.”

Two things were strange about this. First, John’s never been asked out before, usually he did the asking. Second, John didn’t think asking someone out could be so formal. It’s like she was trying to sell him a new car. Weird.

“My wife just died.”

“Ah yes, but for now, friends? You always need friends when you live a life like yours.”

“Friends. Yeah.” He looked and sounded almost bored, which was comical because he wasn’t bored at all. John was very intrigued.

The woman seemed happy with this answer. A huge smile appeared on her face as she held out her hand for John to shake. There was still so much more to be discovered about John. He was a mystery to everyone and this would be a mystery that she would solved before anyone else could.

[bobasheebaby]

MC ask: TRR (Raven in particular)

Thanks for the ask @darley1101 I’m doing the mob wives edition if you want a different TRR MC send me an ask!

Two Sides of the Same Coin

[[MORE]]

Raven Harris

how tall are they?

5’9”

how do they tend to dress?

She is curvy, very busty with a full bottom and wide hips, but she refuses to let that dictate how she dresses. She wears what she feels comfortable in and if anyone has a problem with how she’s dressed, FUCK THEM! If she wants to wear a bodycon dress or a pair of skinny jeans that accentuate her every curve she will. More important than the clothes she puts on her body she wears confidence in everything she wears, from the skimpy bikini on the beach or by the pool, to the oversized shirt and a pair of leggings she feels good in what she wears because she’s comfortable in her body and it shows.

do they like how they look?

She loves and accepts her curves. She doesn’t care about the size on her clothes, this is who she is. She has actually dumped a drink on a guy for calling her a fat ass before she told him to learn to respect women unless he wanted to die alone.

are they an only child or do they have any siblings?

Only child though she grew up in the Rhys family and had several friends and playmates around.

are they a morning person or night owl?

Night owl. She curses Liam out when his alarm wakes her. She’s been known to throw pillows at him for being too noisy while getting ready too. Don’t talk to her before she’s had her coffee unless you want your head chewed off. If you are feeling brave you can try after one cup, but you should really wait until she’s halfway through her third.

are they a cat person or a dog person?

She’s a fuzzy animal person. Cats, dogs, bunnies she thinks they are cute. She absolutely loves cats but she doesn’t hate dogs. She knows Liam is more of a dog person but she really wants a cat.

got any favourite foods?

Chicago deep dish pizza she got spoiled when she lived there and now pizza isn’t the same.

how about favourite drinks?

Manhattan

what are their favourite movies/tv shows?

Crown and the Flame. She and Liam has a bet who Kenna would end up. He thought for sure she would end up with the lifelong friend Dominic, she said no the snarky Diavlos was more her speed, imagine their surprise when Raydan the Lythikosian spy stole her heart. She also has a subscription to a monthly TC&TF box, she may have a subscription box problem.

do they have any hidden talents?

She can speed type without looking at the screen.

do they believe in love at first sight?

No. She was a child when she met Liam and she more grew into love with him. He was apart of her everyday like and soon became more than just a friend to her. She is the type of girl who needs to really know someone first, much to the dismay of her college boyfriends who thought she would put out because she was “fat.”

who is their love interest?

Liam

what are they afraid of?

Heights

what are their guilty pleasures?

America’s Most Eligible. She even joked that she should try to be a contestant, Liam was not amused.

what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream?

Anything that took her away from the mob. She didn’t want that life, but now she would rather have that life than not have Liam.

have they ever broken a bone?

Yes, her radius when she fell out of a tree trying to keep up with the boys.

have they ever been in trouble with the law?

She’s the girlfriend of a mobster, what the fuck do you think? If she’s ever been arrested they were always able to find a dirty cop to bribe to have her released. She tells you if you really want to know come ask her to her face, otherwise fuck off.

+ three other random facts about them!

She’s addicted to subscription boxes.

She can tie a cherry stem with her tongue and unwrap a starburst in her mouth without ripping the wrapper.

She once almost broke a guys hand at college for putting his hands on her ass when she walked past.

Liza Moore

how tall are they?

5’6”

how do they tend to dress?

She doesn’t care as much about fashion as Olivia does. Her favorite thing about pregnancy is the fact that Olivia finally stops giving her shit about dressing comfortably. Oversized shirts (until they aren’t) and leggings are a must! She loves the vintage retro look of clothes more than the modern styles. Slouchy boots are a must in fall and winter and summer she lives in flip flops much to Olivia’s dismay.

do they like how they look?

Everything but her hair. It’s not that she hates her hair she just dyed it once when she was seventeen and there was no turning back. After that she HATES her hair being her natural color. Her hair is always dyed a funky color or three and only guys she’s known intimately know what her natural hair color is, and she likes that.

are they an only child or do they have any siblings?

Only child

are they a morning person or night owl?

Night owl. She does not understand how Bastien can be so chipper in the morning. She needs at least 8 hours of sleep to feel human.

are they a cat person or a dog person?

Both! She is the kind of person to adopt every animal she sees and Olivia teases her for it. Olivia was rightfully worried when Liza and Bastien brought home Buttons the Pitt Bull, she will definitely be adopting more precious babies much to Olivia’s horror.

got any favourite foods?

Pickles but that’s a pregnancy thing. She has a very big sweet tooth and loves making brownies. Only problem is even before the bun in the oven she could consume half a tray in a sitting.

how about favourite drinks?

Lemonade the more sour the better!

what are their favourite movies/tv shows?

She loves crime scene dramas.

do they have any hidden talents?

Do skill and ability to knock a full grown adult male of 6 plus feet and around 200 lbs on their ass with very little physical effort count? The girl can throw a guy over her shoulder without breaking a sweat.

do they believe in love at first sight?

She didn’t until Bastien walked into her coffee shop.

who is their love interest?

Bastien Lykel

what are they afraid of?

Losing the people she cares about. Her ‘found’ family, since her parents were both shit who could easily walk away.

what are their guilty pleasures?

Long relaxing baths. And eating peanut butter straight from the jar, don’t tell Bas he says it’s uncivilized.

what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream?

She never told her dad because she knew how badly he wanted her to get out but she wanted to be a mobster. It’s what she knew, she couldn’t imagine any other job. She’s been mob girlfriend and now mob wife so she considers her dream fulfilled. She knows the business almost as well as Bastien and Olivia.

have they ever broken a bone?

Nope.

have they ever been in trouble with the law?

She’s the daughter of a mobster, married to another mobster, what do you think?! She knows how to evade them so all illegal activity she’s done has flown under their radar.

+ three other random facts about them!

As pissed as she was at the time she is thankful her father sent her to Philadelphia, she still hates him for trying to control her a second time.

She loves her girls. If anyone ever tried to say Hope and Olivia weren’t hers she’d slug them in the face.

She actually enjoyed practicing skills with Olivia. She had been relieved when sixteen year old Olivia groaned about going to the mall. She had so much fun practicing shooting with her it became their thing.

[starkmintea]

Watashi wa Danna wo Share Shiteta is a mess that keeps trying to put the husband in a positive light and I seriously want to throw things.

So, we begin (12 hours prior to the starting scene in the episode) with a loving couple and their daughter. We progress to the wife’s colleague telling her that her husband is super suspicious sounding considering that he’s away so often (agreed). We progress further to shots of the bottom half of a man’s face while he entertains two other families. Who on earth could this be? Surprise, no surprise, it’s the husband.

The husband purchases an engagement ring before he’s abducted, beaten, robbed, and left to die in a convenient field. Unfortunately, he lives long enough to be brought into hospital where all three of his wives find out about each other. In a move surprising no one, the husband dies. Great way to run away from responsibility there, mate, good job.

Anyway, it turns out that since he owns the apartments his wives are staying in they have to move out. And they each follow his pre-made plan of moving into a share house not knowing that they’re going to be living with the other wives. Look, at this point, why are they even following along? All of them have careers, all of them have essentially been acting as single mothers already anyway, they don’t really need the husband in their lives.

Onto the share house. Wow, what a shock. Everyone’s there. Though there’s also an older lady who says that she has their husband’s will where he left three hundred million yen to one wife only. However the will does not say which, only the one who loved him the most. Since it doesn’t say who, the caretaker of the share house says that she would decide. 

She also says that they shouldn’t attack the husband for leading all three of them on, and tells the wives to think about what he’s done for them and the good times and I just... I’m so angry. These wives are weak-willed af because they immediately feel guilty about rightfully bitching about their husband. They immediately feel guilty and talk about how they shouldn’t be mean about the husband and like... they really should though???

Back to the money now, I guess. The whole competing for his money, affection, etc. bs is gonna get old fast. They spend a few minutes thinking about whether they’ll just share the money between them, but ugh this competition bs is gonna kill me. 

Meanwhile, there’s also the subplot of who killed the husband and why. The husband is also mentioned on a gossip site for women that’s apparently super suspicious as well. There’s also a female detective stepping outside of her scope and trying to investigate, and guess who she is.

Yeah, his fourth friggin’ wife. What an absolute surprise. She suspects all three of the other wives for being behind the murder/hit/etc. and she swears she’s gonna get to the bottom of it.

The episode ends with the wives agreeing that they don’t care about the money, they just wanna know more about their husband. And I just??? WHO CARES??? DUDE WAS TRASH. 

The fact that the show keeps trying to push how the guy was good, how he loved one of them that much he was gonna make them his wife for real, how he planned to make sure everyone was taken care of if something happened to him, etc., etc. is aggravating af. And now we have a fourth wife who swears to avenge him. I can’t believe this shit. 

Fingers crossed that it focuses less on the positive aspects of trash-husband, and more on the development of female friendships and women supporting each other in future episodes. But I really doubt it.

[jaimelannisterthings]

GoT 5x04 || PoV: Jaime Lannister

“That would have been a shit way to die.”

Jaime tugged a glove over his right hand with his left, wondering vaguely to himself if he’d given Bronn the impression that he never removed the prosthetic. The blonde preferred not to wear it when he slept, given the material holding it to his arm, no matter how quality, irritated his skin. Less convenient still, sleeping with it in certain positions tended to set the translucent flesh aflame as it had been in the first days. The knight had spent enough time with it on for more tender skin to toughen against it, but that merely made it tolerable, not comfortable, “As well as I’ve seen, they’re all shit ways to die.”

“Aye, but your lot like to give the singers a good ending.”

While likely his annoyance stemmed more from the struggle to adjust his glove correctly—his skill with the process had dramatically improved since the initial attempt, but still remained slow—than from Bronn’s words, Jaime remarked lowly, “I don’t care what’s sung about me when I’m dead.” When they sang about him after his death, Jaime severely doubted they would say anything kind.

“No?” Bronn handed him a stick of crisped snake corpse, which seemed less than appetizing, but options were limited, “Two knights off to rescue a princess; sounds like a good song to me.”

“Sounds like all the rest,” Jaime muttered as he considered the snake, eventually driving the stick into the sand. No, he couldn’t make himself eat the damn thing. In the brief silence, he wondered if Bronn understood such a song wasn’t meant for Jaime Lannister. Bronn? Perhaps, yes. But Jaime? It did not matter if he rescued a hundred princesses or vanquished a thousand foes. Kingslayer. Oathbreaker. Man without honor. These words made for a far better tale, would entice more coin.

Jaime decidedly would not linger on the notion, “What about you? What shit way would you choose?”

“In my own keep, drinking my own wine, watching my sons grovel for my fortune.”

How incredibly normal, really. Was that not the life Jaime had promised him? A castle, a wife, children. That was Bronn’s dream, then. Not saving princesses, not being the knight in shining armor, but growing old by his own design, “How disappointing.” His eyes attempted to make contact with Bronn’s, trying to read him, “I thought you’d have something more exciting planned.” Pausing a moment to really consider him, though, Jaime came to the conclusion the idea should not have surprised him.

“I’ve had an exciting life. I want my death to be boring.” That made sense. “How would you want to go?”

“In the arms of the woman I love,” Jaime responded, the question one he needed not ponder himself. There were nights chained he spent considering how he would imagine Cersei when the men Robb Stark commanded finally broke orders and murdered him. Men who hated him would not defend him forever. Of all the possibilities, he liked best to simply imagine her holding him in her arms until the end. The blonde came into this world grasping at her. It seemed only right he would leave it in her embrace.

“She want the same thing?”

Jaime stared at him, words taking time to sink in. Cersei and he had their troubles, but would she leave him to die without the comfort of her touch? Surely not. Why, then, did he pause and wonder? Why, then, did the question seem to only have one answer? No, no she wouldn’t, “Let’s go.”

They—mostly Bronn—packed up what little they had to, kicked out the fire, mapped out their direction, and began on their way. The entire time, Jaime found himself distracted with Bronn’s final question at the fire, preoccupied with why he hadn’t immediately been able to provide an affirmative answer.

“The captain of that ship—what was he, Braavosi?”

“Pentoshi,” Jaime corrected. Cersei loved him, yes. As he loved her? Was that possible anymore?

“And he’s headed to Old Town?”

“As I said,” Jaime confirmed, rather wishing Bronn would just let him think in silence. Then, Bronn didn’t ask questions just to hear his own voice. He likely had a point, “Why?”

“What’s to stop him from ducking down the coast and telling the locals that Jaime Lannister’s in Dorne?”

Nothing, really. “A bag of gold.”

“I’m not sure you understand how much people hate your family in this part of the world.”

“It was a heavy bag.”

Then, it suddenly donned on him. People hated his family. Always, people would hate his family. Him, Cersei, Tyrion, Tywin—first names made no difference. Everyone in the entire world could loathe he and Cersei, and it would not matter. They needed only each other. If Jaime were dying, Cersei would not merely hold him in her arms. She would do anything and everything in her power to prevent his passing, forbid him from abandoning her in this horrible world just as he would her. No matter how they treated each other, no matter how they may act and react, they were the only ones who mattered.

“And I bet he swore all kinds of oaths to get it, but you won’t be around if he breaks them.” And who would feel guilty breaking an oath made to Jaime Lannister, the oathbreaker himself? The sentiment didn’t matter to him now, his realization regarding Cersei lifting his spirits.

As if on cue, the sounds of horses began and drew nearer. Taking cover, Jaime peeked at the horsemen.

“How many you count?”

“Four.” Not a horrible threat, but not a simple number.

“How many do you think you can take?”

Bronn knew his abilities, by now. He’d been the one to develop them. They were beyond feigned confidence at this point, Jaime unashamedly honest, “One—“ The blonde nearly scoffed. One? Jaime Lannister, doubting he could take on just one armed horseman. There had been a time—no, no. There was no time to dwell on his past abilities. As Bronn said, unless Jaime intended to grow his hand back, what reason was there to speak as if he might? “—if he’s slow.”

The riders noticed their marks in the sand, “Fucked in the ass.” As always. Bronn stood and Jaime followed suit, allowing him to lead. If they ended up fighting, after all, their survival mostly depended on Bronn, “Morning lads. Glad we found you.”

“Who are you?”

“Cooper.” The name didn’t suit Bronn, in Jaime’s opinion. “This is Darnelle.” The Lannister hoped to the gods that name didn’t suit him either. Should he say something?

“You’re from King’s Landing.”

“Accent gave me away? Flea Bottom, whelped and whipped.” No, best to let Bronn keep speaking.

“Why are you here?” Why, indeed? His eyes drifted to Bronn.

“Our ship capsized in the night. We managed to swim ashore. It’s a near thing, really.”

“Thought the sharks would get us.” Did he honestly just say that? Were there even— “There are no sharks in Dorne.” —no, there weren’t. Jaime didn’t need to so much as glance at Bronn to know the expression on the man’s face, a smirk finding its way across the blonde’s features, unable to hide his amusement with the imagined look, “Could have sworn those were shark fins.”

At which point he finally looked to Bronn, “Dolphins maybe.” It was endearing, really, how Bronn tried to patch up his missteps. He may have died earlier today already without him.

“Throw your sword in the sand.” He may still die today, Jaime mused. Given Bronn would be doing most of the fighting, Jaime would wait for him to make the first move. He’d not engaged in true combat since losing his hand, and while he wanted to pretend to be confident, that had not worked well on every occasion. How could he flagrantly risk abandoning Cersei to this world?

“Boys, there’s no need for this. Just point us in the right direction; we’ll find our way home.”

“Swords in the sand! Now!” Clearly, they rightfully did not believe them. Perhaps it was the sharks? Jaime exchanged a glance with Bronn, placing his hand on his sword as if to follow their commands as Bronn gave affirmation with a light nod of his head. For but a moment Jaime found himself surprised his right-hand man did send his sword into the sand, but this proved to be only for show as Bronn took out one of the men with a dagger throw straight through the neck. The second fell less than a minute after, stabbed where he sat upon his horse before managing to establish proper footing. A third charged at him upon his steed, blade raised, but Bronn aimed for the horse, the animal’s scream sending the horseman sprawling to the ground.

Jaime felt the confidence draining from him with each passing second, but Bronn merely gestured with his sword to the rider pushing himself to his feet, “That one should be slow enough.”

Taking his stance, the Lannister attempted to ease his nerves. As his opponent approached, Jaime’s face settled, drawing an air of confidence around himself even if only for show, as if to reassure himself. Right hand or no, he was still Jaime Lannister. If he had become too tentative to fight, then he may as well renounce his name and never return to King’s Landing at all. Cersei mayn’t want him dead, may forbid him to die, but if he existed as Jaime Lannister only in memory, was he not dead already?

Blow after blow, the blonde managed himself rather well. Bronn deserved credit, not that the man would receive it. A sudden punch to the face midblock sent Jaime sprawling to the ground, barely avoiding a sword through his chest by rolling away, and then waterfalling down the side of the ledge of sand he’d apparently been atop of. Every strike sent him back to his knees, the leverage the horseless horseman had being at a higher position on the hill overpowering. A particularly decent swipe sent Jaime’s sword flying from his left hand, landing somewhere unknown as his opponent raised his sword to deliver a final blow.

The adrenaline was wicked, his heart pounding painfully in his chest, lungs tight, unable to draw in enough oxygen. His life flashed before his eyes—his sister primarily—when a resounding thunk caught his attention. In his desperation, Jaime had wrapped his fingers around the man’s blade when it came crashing upon him. Only, they had stopped the blade. While his mind registered fingers of flesh, the truth of the relatively hollowed gilded steel had ensnared the blade.

His eyes scanned for his lost sword, reaching and grabbing it quickly enough to drive it directly through the rider’s heart before the man had the chance to release his weapon. He growled as his foot kicked the body down the hill, forcing the other’s grip on the sword still embedded in his hand to release.

“Nice move.” The voice reached Jaime, but it seemed to come from far away. He shifted his gaze back to the top of the hill, where Bronn now stood. The danger had passed, and so the adrenaline trickled away, leaving pain in its wake. Jaime breathed heavily, fighting not to let the agony show. There was no skin and bone, no flesh for the sword to have driven into. The immense pain, the unfortunately familiar burning sensation in the invisible hand simply could not exist. Whether or not he was losing his mind, Jaime decidedly kept such concerns to himself, “Luck.”

“You had a wonderful teacher.” Bronn turned and walked off. As he did, Jaime realize just how embedded the sword was in the metal of his hand. Possibly broke into the hollow, if he had to guess. Not overly likely, though, given the steel beneath the gold. He shook at the lodged weapon for several seconds before finally kicking it off with his foot, considering how long he might go before surveying the damage done to the material. Jaime didn’t wish to augment the now intense burning sensation with the sight of damaged gold flesh.

“Always wanted a Dornish stallion.” The pain plagued him as he forced himself to climb the hill, taking one step at a time, “Beasts can run a day and night without tiring." His eyes now and again drifted to the sliced glove, the glint of burning metal underneath peeking out at him, “We’ll ride to the Water Gardens—" This had happened before, both at the onset and here and there ever after, but never had it been this intense. He toyed with the notion that the blow to his prosthetic, and therefore to the stump, had induced the sensation, “—with a nice breeze in our face.” Only, how could it have? Then, would not only the stump hurt? Why—no, how could air burn like fire upon nonexistent skin?

Bronn’s words weighed heavily on him, Jaime making an excuse not to begin riding immediately, “First we need to bury these bodies.” The blonde could not ride now, not this moment, not with the burning, not when the jostling may only make it worse. Would that he lacked the shame to simply tell him and remove his hand, but he did not have it in himself to allow for it.

“Birds have to eat too.”

Jaime would rather come off as an ass than as genuinely compromised, “Corpses raise questions.” This was not untrue. “Questions raise armies.” Jaime might even convince himself of the need for it, speaking like this. “We’re not here to start a war.”

“Do you know how long it will take us to dig all those holes?” Digging would be worse than riding. Jaime had covered up his agony thus far, what would another step do? In truth, he appreciated Bronn immensely, but he needed time alone to attempt to manage this pain.

“I can’t dig very well with one hand,” Jaime stated, careful to look directly at Bronn as he spoke, “Not at all, really.” The words lacked any trace of amusement, of teasing or taunting. The Lannister couldn’t even bring himself to offer a smirk, a grin, whatever he attempted more pained than sincere. He turned away and walked off a few steps to discourage disagreement.

Bronn either understood the circumstances or accepted Jaime was in fact that much of an asshole. Either way, it bought the blonde some much needed time to recollect himself.

@wineinthewidow [As requested <3] @thesellsword [I tag you because I thought of you the whole damn time.]

[kleiner2296-blog]

My truth:

Last year, I literally had the hardest year of my life. In the midst of all the happy events going on (wedding, honeymoon, family trips, a newborn/infant), there was always this lingering cloud of sadness and emptiness. I was so far in my head, I just couldn’t get out. It was a time where breathing felt like a chore- where most days I would lay around and felt like I couldn’t get out of bed. Being a stay at home mom benefitted my depression in many ways. It was easy to put on a facade of a “put together mom, and wife”. Most days, my dishes went unwashed, laundry piled up, and the house went awry. Carter was always taken care of for sure, but some days it was so bad, I’d hand him my phone to play with just so I could stay in our dark room, lay around and sleep. Of course it was my anxiety that pulled through whenever someone had to come over. I was obsessive over what people thought of me, and sometimes the judgement that came with it- even if it meant just shoving everything into a closet for the time being. It was only then, that it was easy to just hurridly clean up and make my life seem so picture perfect.

On top of that, without going into any details, my marriage was just a bit rocky, and most of it (in my opinion) was stemming from my irritability and anger/bitterness. There has been so much resentment from many many things that have eaten at me for a long time in my personal life as a whole, and it was an easy target to put onto my husband, and it was unfair to him. I will probably be forever saddened by my behaviors and my choices to act on my emotion so carelessly. But, i’m happy to say that we are 110% again and most of that burden/trauma has been slowly lifted 🙂

I was diagnosed with PPD (For those that don’t know, it stands for Post-partum depression) later in 2016 around november/december if I remember correctly (Sounds crazy but a lot of 2016-2017 is literally a blur- which i would assume just happens with depression???) amongst my already existing anxiety panic disorder. I have had anxiety since I was pretty young, and was first diagnosed at age 16 where I was shipped off to a therapist to “help me”.

I had so much guilt from my failure of breastfeeding and so much stress on my plate from carter’s slow weight gain (Which now I understand he is small because those are his genetics lol... although sometimes it still gets to me). I was angry because it was always me up at night and all day while carter fought sleep (Rightfully so! Cj pays the bills and works very very hard!! we love him! He’s a FANTASTIC father and husband!!!) and the lack of sleep, plus crazy crazy amounts of insomnia stemming from my anxiety, were literally making me obsessive and paranoid for no reason about dumb things. One of my biggest anxiety triggers is time, and so every night i would obsess over how many hours i had to fall asleep and then panic when i wouldn’t fall asleep by that hour, and then repeat, until it was too late to even get a healthy amount of sleep. Unfortunately I took it out on a lot of people over simple small minded things. And if you’re reading this, and that possibly applies to you, I am sorry. I am not proud of how my behavior was during 2016-2017, but please know, that although it’s not an excuse, it also wasn’t completely in my control. 

***An example of how bad my anxiety got at one point: I was flying home to visit my parents and carter was just switched to Almond milk/soy milk because he couldn’t have dairy, and I literally went into a full blown panic over how I was going to get him almond milk in the airport/how i was going to feed my child just to get to where I was going. I almost considered canceling my flight over such a silly thing. I obsessed over it for days, throwing myself into a pit of fear that literally swallowed me whole- at that point I called my mom and just broke down- full blown panic on the phone over it. She walked me off the ledge and we came up with a game plan. I’m so grateful my mom understands how bad it can get for me... and over the dumbest things. Mom, if you are reading this, I pray you know how much you mean to me, and how thankful I am for you<3.***

April-June was a pretty scary time, looking back. I was drinking more often than I should have been to cope with my feelings or “lack of” feelings. Not crazy amounts, but enough to raise concern from my husband. I like to have an occasional glass of wine and have a few drinks here or there, but this was really different for me.

My bachelorette party, I got absolutely wasted and ended up having a major panic attack about what a shitty mom I was, right in the club we were in. I’m sure some of it was honestly me feeling typical “mom guilt” for just enjoying myself, but hearing some friends talk about that incident is a pretty sad thing for me. Although it’s easy to laugh about on the outside, parts of me knows how deep that was and how dark of a time it was, internally. I almost feel like it was a cry for help, but came out just as any new mom feeling guilty for “going out” even though I knew it was more than “going out”. It was an escape from reality.

Around March or so 2018, I started to feel like I had just a bit better grip on my anxiety. I was able to relax a lot with carter- even allow myself to let go enough for him to stay the night at someone else’s home. That was a big victory for me. My depression, however wasn’t getting better. I called my doctor and asked if there was any way to help me. She ended up revealing that my Mirena was probably the cause of most of my emotions. This was upsetting because I have an anxiety diagnosis in my medical history so knowing that, my midwife should have mentioned that there was a strong possibility of heightened anxiety and depression. She prescribed me birth control pills to take ALONGSIDE my mirena. So now, at this point, I was on some form of progesterone and the estrogen provided by mirena. Talk about hormone overload.

So a little more background info.... My insecurities started really taking a hit on my mental health as well. Anyone who knows me, knows that i’m just a vain girl. It’s who I am and I am okay with that. I’m in a vain industry, as a cosmetologist! Oh well! So with my mirena causing a lot of these mental health issues, my face also started breaking out even more due to the levels of estrogen it had. **Currently, my face hasn’t gotten a ton better, but enough for me to start to see the light. Sounds silly, but my acne was also a strong contributing factor of my depression at the time.**

The birth control pills my midwife prescribed were also supposed to help that issue as well. I gave them a shot, and unfortunately they didn’t help much. I have a nurse who comes to see me every 2 weeks to check on carter and answer questions I have or give me info about being a mom (I found this program through WIC, and have seen my nurse since I was pregnant every 2 weeks!! Highly recommend!!), and she and I discussed my options. After another panic attack during one of our visits together, she urged me to get some help, and we decided that taking my mirena out was probably what was best.

But here we go... *cue adulting problems*. We didn’t have insurance that covered the removal of my IUD. It was going to cost $400. So I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up- I mean, depression/anxiety is nothing when you live with it for a long time, right? I kept that mirena in until June 2018. We finally got advice from a family friend, and she recommended her doctors office who went above and beyond to make sure that my insurance would cover it. I got it removed!! I shit you not, yall. THE SECOND that mirena was pulled out, (NO EXAGGERATION), that cloud that had been hovering over me for so long, started dispersing- poof. just like that, i felt 100 times better. 

This leads me to where I am now. Sitting here, typing this long story. I pray that, even though I am willingly putting my truth out there on the interwebs, judgement won’t be too harsh, and that there’s someone who may get something out of this. One day, I want to look back on this blog, and see how far I have come. I want to live a better life, I want to beat my mental illness(es). I want to be better than I was the day before, and I want to feel immense love and satisfaction with myself. 

To the future Vannessa:

You are worthy. 

You are stronger than your illnesses.

You are resilient.

You are happy. 

YOU ARE FREE. 

P.S. This is a picture of my tattoo! Seratonin symbol that represents anxiety and depression