#and reading this reminded me exactly why...the power of cat metaphors

[diyasgarden]

How's she supposed to survive with no heart?

Someone figure out and tell me how because this concept has ripped out my heart and i don't know how to go on.

Best Friend - based on @diyasgarden's betting on loosing dogs cats and her cat headcanons. definitely go check them out if you haven't yet!!

the story of tashi and her childhood best friend (1.86k words)

tw: i have not seen the movie so all my knowledge is via osmosis. writing some of these scenes was cathartic. enjoy me working through my own grief and know my tears wet the keyboard. i may have forgotten about art a little bit but this is tashi centric so im just going to say whoops and move on

Tashi was a lonely child. It was just a fact. Even with siblings wrapped around her and hanging off her arms, she swept through her childhood with few permanent attachments.

She was vibrant, regardless of her seclusion. The bounce of her curls and the seemingly infinite energy she possessed endeared her to teachers and classmates. Bright, sparkling curiosity filled her eyes. The librarian saw the most of her, incidentally. With clumsy fingers and boosted toes, she tipped titles from higher and higher shelves, thicker and thicker books filling her arms and her Princess Aurora backpack.

After playdates, summer camps and schedules packed high with unfamiliar names, her parents finally acquiesced. There would be no friend for their daughter, not one she wanted.

Instead, that Christmas, she received two very special presents. An oddly shaped thing with one blunt, cylindrical end and, on the other side, a curved, flat plane; the other was a larger, rectangular box that mewled periodically, its princess wrapping paper massacred with pinholes. She anguishes when she sees a prick right over the left side of Aurora's shimmering pink dress.

Her parents initially direct her towards the oddly shaped gift, no matter how the mewling box draws her ears. Under the light of the rainbowed tree, the LEDs reflecting their colors over her full face, she unknowingly, and with youthful gusto, unwraps her future.

Her very own tennis racket. The gift included the promise of lessons, starting after her holiday break. She'd been curious about her parents' rackets, the handles much too big for her young, soft palms. Now, she can try it all on her own—emulating the fierce girls she revered on TV.

A whine from the larger box draws her attention again, and eyes shining with anticipation turn to her parents. A single nod, and little legs are scampering across the hardwood as she runs to delicately peel off the paper.

The cardboard box under it is as pricked as the wrapping paper, the top untaped. Reaching past the unassuming packaging, she's jolted when something touches her. Soft, with points as pokey as the needle that made the holes. She's nothing if not fearless, however.

As the cardboard flaps are peeled back one by one, the thing, no, paw that reached out to grab her tugs on the last one. It's small, orange, with tiny claws puncturing shallowly. Her fingers, larger and without as sharp nails, gently pries it off so she can finally open the box.

A kitten. A kitten sits, dwarfed by the size of the box. When she reaches for it, it retreats—sniffing her fingers before deciding her a worthy companion. It's all but eager now, pressing into her hands until she picks it up and cradles it to her chest. Its teensy chest starts to rumble with a crackly purr.

"She's yours." Startles her out of her revere, so absorbed in the little body against hers. Her mother's words are said with a smile. She finally found a friend, one that didn't live in pages. "All yours."

Her father chimes in not long after.

"What's her name, Natasha?"

A pause. Tashi blinks, contemplation in the set of her pout and in the subtle furrow in her brow. Her eyes don't stray from the yellows of her newest companion.

"Serena," comes, the resolve in her tone sounding odd in the heightened pitch of a six-year-old.

She'd grow into it.

She'd soon learned her two favorite sounds: the thwack of a tennis ball and the thundering of Serena's purr.

They were familiar, and borderline ordinary. She heard the first over and over, for hours at a time, multiple times a week. Serena's purr, in the same vein, was the thing that greeted her with the sun and lulled her into sleep. Yet, she thought them spectacular. Whenever they reached her ears, that golden smile appeared.

She was always good. Always spectacular at tennis. Sweeping through matches flooded her veins with sweet adrenaline, sweat that dropped to the court marking her path to the stars. Even when she'd left them all behind, flown far away and was weightless in her tennis shoes, it'd say: I, Tashi Duncan, was here. I won.

The thing that brought her back to Earth was simple. Even with the lure of the stars, the rumbling, crackling purr and sweet meows, like the quake she experienced at eleven and the cracking boom of thunder she'd once feared, grounded her in her emotions. Her feelings, not for boys but for Serena overflowed from her heart and spilled out like a split dam, widening her smiles and filling her mind, motivating her game and keeping her present.

At seventeen she was up-and-coming. Her birthday fell a few days after the US Open, so on her last few days as a child, she bundled up with her familiar friend and boarded the metal plane. It would be her wings, giving her that taste of future freedom, of the sky she reached for.

Her transcendence faded in sleep, leaving just a girl and her cat, sleepy and covered in shed hair and so, so young.

She won. She won the Junior Open.

Everything's set in stone now. She can see her future playing out—at Stanford, tearing through the competition and tearing through the pages of novels (she never quite lost her love for words; instead it evolved from Junie B. Jones to Mary Shelley.) Then, she'd go pro, breaking out into the Grand Slams like a comet blazing by.

Art and Patrick were the unexpected twist.

Zweig and Donaldson. Fire and Ice. The perfect duo. One would be joining her at Stanford. The other? Leaving for the intense performance of the pros with her number stashed in his mobile—left sweating under the stage lights of expectations states away.

Whether he'd buckle under the intensity was to be seen. At least his green crash pad was well in place, waiting to be fallen back on.

Practice was routine.

Art was routine.

Serena was at home, with her parents.

The separation was killing her. Some days, especially hearing the thwack of the ball, she felt the ache of her halved heart. She knew she wouldn't go home to her second (first) favorite sound.

Red. There's a lot of red at Stanford, Tashi noticed. Even in her dorm room, the banner on her wall and poster above her bed, the jacket strewn over her chair and the sweaty shorts discarded on her floor. The red apples of Patrick's cheeks and the pinkening to his lips. She let her eyes close and welcomed their press and the darkness behind her eyelids.

They were good. They were fine. He was fine. Then they weren't.

Tashi always knew her heart was fragmented. Tennis, Serena, Patrick. Each one beat independent, for the most part. When they synced was euphoric.

One of her best memories was during her spring break. Patrick had a break before his next tournament, and they packed up in his dingy car to putter back to her parents'. Spending the week there, lounging like house cats, lobbing lazy forehands back and forth and falling asleep every night to Serena's crackling purr and Patrick's heavy arm over her.

It was the most alive she'd every felt.

The game. The game was all that mattered. Not Patrick flaking. Not the absence of her friend. Just the game. That was the piece of her heart still intact.

Then her knee pops sickeningly, releasing out from under her and all she could see was red.

Stanford fans in the stands and her opponent's flushed cheeks, Art's crimson shirt and the pain red-hot behind her eyelids.

The darkness when her eyes shut was a comfort once again. It hides the sight of her swelling, purpling knee. It doesn't stop the pain.

Maybe she'd slip into a blessed unconsciousness.

100 years, Maleficent proclaimed. The princess shall sleep.

She'd never play tennis again, that much was clear. The doctor been almost certain.

Art tried to make her feel better. All she could think of was a familiar rumble she ached for.

She was released to spend a few weeks at her parents, away from the worry of school and her emotional turmoil. A few weeks with Serena, to get back to their routine, to the purrs on her chest and the weaving beneath her feet.

Serena was a bit more careful staying underfoot after her first smell of her braced knee and the sight of her white crutches.

Maybe she'd log her as an emotional support pet, just so she wouldn't loose her whole heart when she went back.

She didn't get that far. She didn't even have the time to get the paper.

Serena fell from Tashi's bed and broke her pelvis a week in. The howl she made was a new noise. One she never should have made.

They spent the whole day at the emergency vet. Tashi's eyes had never been so red-rimmed. She cried, in that sterile waiting room, as they took Serena back and cooed sadly.

She fell into an exhausted sleep, buried in her mother's side with her lip still caught between her teeth.

The doctor's thought the break was suspicious. Cats are usually springier, the vet had said. Even the older ones, like her. She was kind, and caring. Her green scrubs, pattered with paw prints, slowly became orange with Serena's fur. Her hands were warm when they handed her the lab papers.

Bone cancer, the plain black text said, in it's painfully ordinary font. The type that, apparently, had crept through Serena's body and made itself a home in her lungs. It burrowed, unwanted, in the place that held her life. It infected the space right above her heart. Waiting longer, says the vet, would be cruel.

She didn't even look at the amount of tumors they found. Once she saw the double digits she shattered, just that bit more.

The vet gave her time to say her goodbyes. It was all they really could do.

Thirteen years. Thirteen years they'd grown together.

Serena was once bundled in too-big cardboard, clawing energetically at the walls and sinking pinprick claws into her shirt.

Now, she's swaddled in a soft blanket, looking fat and warm but so, so tired.

Tashi holds her on her aching knee and weeps. She presses warm lips press to the forehead of her first friend, her favorite thing. Slender arms cradle this beautiful baby cat to her chest. Serena is sedated, a little medicine for the pain. Her purr's crackling now, muted and rattling. A soft, small paw presses to Tashi's tear-streaked, tawny cheek.

It's time to go, she hears faintly. It feels like she has her head underwater. Her throat and lungs and fingers squeeze as the needle slides in, past fluffed, orange fur. Serena doesn't even flinch. Yet, Tashi feels like she's drowning.

Her form (little, so little. Her baby—) goes limp in her lap.

How's she supposed to survive with no heart?

The next morning arrives with silence. Not even the chirping of the birds.

She curls tight in a too-empty bed and feels her heart wither in her chest.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Guiltrip

So, my week has been hell. In addition to working night and day on final essays for my classes, I've been really busy at work lately, and the second COVID vaccine shot really took a lot out of me this week. And that's not even getting into the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with applying for the MTEL which is slowly making me wonder if I actually want to teach in the first place.

But, despite all that, there was a single light of hope this week that almost made it all worth it.

STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH, BABY!

OH MY GOD, THIS SHOW IS AMAZING! I ALWAYS LOVED THE CLONE-CENTRIC EPISODES OF THE CLONE WARS, AND NOW WE GET AN ENTIRE SHOW ABOUT AN ELITE TEAM OF THEM? KICKASS! AND IT TAKES PLACE AFTER ORDER 66 WITH GRAND MOFF TARKIN AS THE MAIN VILLAIN? SWEET MOTHER OF GEORGE LUCAS, I CAN'T WAIT! I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT THEY TRADED IN THE COOL SNIPER CLONE FOR SOME LITTLE GIRL CLONE, I ALREADY WANT TO SEE MORE THAN THE TWO EPISODES WE GOT SO FAR! GOD, I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Oh yeah, there was also a new episode of Miraculous Ladybug that aired on the same day too, I guess. It was pretty good. Hell of a lot better than the past three episodes I've sat through.

Let's get into the fifth (chronologically the eleventh) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Guiltrip

We start off in the middle of class where we see Marinette looking at Adrien lovingly.

Because the writers are still trying to push the Love Square on us as if they were trying to sell us some death sticks. And yes, expect a few Star Wars jokes in this review. This episode did premiere on May 4th after all.

Rose suddenly gets a headache, and asks to go to the nurse, saying that “Miss Dora” is back. While walking there with Marinette, she explains that it's a code name she gives when her head hurts and can tell Miss Bustier without letting everyone know. She probably felt a name like “Maya Grain” would just give it away.

At lunch, Juleka gets a text that really upsets her, so Marinette tries to cheer her up. Keyword being “tries”.

Okay, yes, this is referencing the previous scene, where Rose refers to a certain snack at the nurse's office she eats to recover her health whenever “Miss Dora” visits called “Mr. Coffee”, but it's just bad timing. I get Marinette has a habit of not reading the room, but why did she have to use the term “Miss Dora” when she knows what it's being used for? Sure, she doesn't know that Juleka knows, but did she really have to say “Miss Dora”? She couldn't have used any other name instead? It's like making a chemotherapy joke when you just found out someone close to you has cancer. Even putting the context aside, what is this joke's punchline supposed to be? That “Miss Dora” will visit Juleka if she eats her lunch? Even by the humor standards of this show, the joke fails spectacularly.

Marinette bumps into Adrien, and although she stutters a little with a little exaggerated body movement, she does manage to take things seriously so she can have an actual conversation with Adrien about Juleka, who wants to be alone. She explains that the text she got was from Rose, who was sent to the hospital because of her sickness, and the entire class finds out because Marinette texted everyone to come to check on Juleka.

Goddamn it, Marinette. I usually defend you for getting screwed over by the writing, but you really aren't on your A game today.

Juleka explains that Rose got this sickness when she was little, which naturally worried everyone else. To make things worse, Juleka also says Rose made her swear to not tell anyone about her to worry her. Everyone else swears to not let Rose know that they know, and the act of support is actually enough to drive away an Akuma targeted at Juleka.

Unfortunately, nobody ever said anything about being overly affectionate to Rose, so everyone in the class tries to do things for Rose like carry her bags, giving her a pillow to sit on in school, helping her take notes, letting her cut in line at lunch, and giving her apples.

All of this makes Juleka remorsefully tell Rose that she told everyone else, which worries her because she hates all the special treatment, so she goes to tell them all about her illness. While they seem to accept her, the next time she sneezes, they overreact like, uh... how can I make this joke in a tasteful way?

Rose says she's had enough with all the treatment, which makes Juleka feel guilty. In the bathroom, she gets akumatized into Reflekta (yet again) with a Sentimonster named Guiltrip. And then Reflekta immediately gets sucked into the Sentimonster, which will cause it to go out of control. Nice job, Shadowmoth.

While it might not look like much, this is easily my favorite Sentimonster by far. Granted, that's not saying much, given all we've gotten so far for Sentimonsters is bootleg Mothra, sentient candy, a robotic doll, a frog with a body count, yet another evil doppelganger, and an eye, but my point still stands. Rather than actually confront the heroes, it's basically a portal to another world where it can trap people in bubbles that represent their regrets and despair, and turn them into copies of Reflekta.

It's a really strong metaphor which reminds me of the villains from Kamen Rider Wizard, who tried to drive their victims to despair in order to turn them into monsters. Ironically, that show's main villain is also some asshole in white who was risking countless lives just to save someone close to him. In general, the area inside of Guiltrip is visually stunning, and easily the highlight of the episode. It's just so surreal, and it really sets the tone the episode's going for.

Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene, and also get sucked into the portal, seeing some of the victims before they also start to fall into despair. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of the few times where Angstdrien Depreste is thematically appropriate. Cat Noir points out that if they had simply defeated Shadowmoth by now, none of this would be happening, which is a good point. He even attempts to kill himself using his Cataclysm, but unlike RWBY, they don't try to glorify it.

This also leads to Rose managing to fight off Guiltrip's powers with her optimistic personality (so I guess you could say she's A New Hope for the heroes), inspiring Ladybug to compliment Cat Noir. While I'd normally be pissed that this is yet another way to boost his ego, it does fit in with the episode's theme of positive thinking. Well, with the exception of one line where she points out what her time as Ladybug would be like without Cat Noir...

BEING A SUPERHERO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. Yes, there are certain benefits to being a superhero, but it is not a fun game you play when lives are on the line. Why are the writers so dedicated to validate Cat Noir's beliefs that being a hero is just a fun extracurricular activity? Has there ever been a superhero who shares a similar mentality and isn't treated like a complete jackass?

So Ladybug and Cat Noir break free of the bubbles, and after summoning her Lucky Charm, a pickaxe, Ladybug realizes she needs more positivity to break free from Guiltrip. As such, she pulls out the Pig Miraculous and gives it to Rose, who transforms into Pigella. Funny how she forgot her little headache condition when she bangs her head like a death metal singer while transforming.

The design is... wait, she's not wearing a skin-tight jumpsuit? She's actually wearing something different?

Yeah, I really like the Pigella design. There's a good mix of pink and white, and the skirt really brings the whole thing together. It really reflects Rose's optimistic and bubbly personality.

So the three heroes find Reflekta, who has been consumed by tons of bubbles. Pigella uses her superpower, Gift, to show Reflekta what her heart wants the most right now. So it's basically a more specific version of the Fox Miraculous? In fact, what do pigs have to do with optimism?

Whatever reason, it works, which helps Reflekta to break free of Guiltrip's influence, letting Ladybug de-evilize her. But because we need to have a fight scene in this episode, the Reflekta clones start to attack the heroes, but Ladybug uses the pickaxe to climb out of Guiltrip and purify the Amok.

So Rose hands the Pig Miraculous back to Ladybug, and the episode ends with everyone treating Rose normally in class, realizing she isn't as delicate as she thinks she is.

So yeah, I really like this episode. Aside from a few stupid things Marinette said this episode, I honestly don't have a lot of problems with the episode here.

I also really like the lesson this episode is going for. It doesn't shame Rose for rejecting the help, and it doesn't shame the class for being to overprotective of Rose either. It tries to find a middle ground, which is an important lesson to learn, not just for dealing with a loved one who has an illness, but for disabled people and other kinds of situations where someone has a disadvantage. Even as much as I ragged on Marinette for the text, it's clear that she isn't the only one to blame. In fact, nobody really gets blamed for anything this episode. It's more of a misunderstanding, and both sides find a balance on how to treat Rose.

It's overall a really good episode, and the second best one so far this season. And you know what? This episode taught me the importance of staying positive, so with that in mind, maybe I shouldn't be dreading “Queen Banana” when it comes out this week.

Wait, what? It got pushed back two weeks? Oh, THANK GOD! Now I feel like dancing. And I know exactly what song to dance to...

[i-stan-nct-and-satan]

Not Broken (Jaehyun Mafia au pt 16)

Not Broken Masterlist 

Jaehyun X Reader

Y/N is a burlesque dancer living in Seoul. Jaehyun is one of the most powerful mafia men in Seoul. How will Y/N survive when Jaehyun suspects that she is involved with a rival gang?

Reasons to read this story: Ten’s a cross-dressing madam so….. yeah read it ya freaks.

Trigger Warning: mentions of past abuse

Beep! Beep! Beep!

My head instinctively turned to stare at the alarm. I watched as it continued to beep. Usually, the harsh tones of the alarm were enough launch me out of bed. Every morning I somehow managed to reach the ungodly contraption to silence it before it even began to muster out its third beep.  

Not today though.  

I had been lying awake long before my alarm started to sing its first note. I had just been staring at the ceiling, anticipating the events that were to come. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get at least a bit of sleep. I probably managed to get in a few hours before waking up to see that the neon green numbers I had gotten used to seeing read, 2:46 a.m.  

My mind was too anxious to fall back asleep, but my body was too stubborn to leave the comfort of the satin sheets which were messily draped over my body.

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about what awaited me and I felt as though leaving my bed would be what put said events into motion. Thus, when my alarm began ringing, signaling to me that it was time to get up, instead of rushing to towards it, I merely stared at it. I continued staring until the digital clock changed from 4:00 to 4:01 and then to 4:02 and finally to 4:03 before I decided it would be best to put an end to the incessant beeping before it caused a disturbance to those who still might be sleeping.  

I dragged my body towards the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked dead, not like I cared. In a way, I felt as though I might actually be dead; that perhaps I died long ago and that every event since my death was the result of divine punishment. Punishment for what, I didn’t know.  

I chuckled at the overly dramatic thought.

I splashed cold water onto my face in an attempt to return my rationalities, though it was no use. There was nothing rational about my situation, so how could I think rationally while in it?

I instinctively began brushing my hair, before stopping midway to curse myself. It was like I could see into the future. That narcissistic scumbag, Jaehyun, would interpret any step I took to freshen up as an attempt to impress him, something I definitely didn’t want him thinking.  

When I trained with Jeno, it would take me roughly an hour to fully wake myself up, get dressed, and freshen up before heading down to the training room around 4:50. I could tell that today, I wouldn’t need as much time to ready myself.  

I quickly tied my hair up in a ponytail, simply to keep it out of my face. When I opened my closet, Jaehyun’s words found themselves at the front of my mind.

“You should wear something blue. The color suits you.”

I scoffed to myself as I grabbed the first blue piece of clothing I saw and threw it to the side, missing the trashcan by more than a few feet. I instead picked out a yellow workout shirt and grabbed my regular leggings from the floor. I only had a few pair of leggings so I would often re-wear the same pair, not wanting to wash them after every use. I brought the leggings up to my nose and smelled the already worn-out fabric. They were definitely reaching the point where they needed a wash. I put them on anyway. A part of me hoped that the smell of old sweat would keep Jaehyun from making any advances, or at least turn him off from the thought.  

It reminded me of how women would skip shaving their legs before a date to prevent themselves from going home with a guy, though in my case, it was like putting my legs on display to keep the guy from thinking I’d want to go home with her in the first place.  

I looked at the clock.  

4:34.

I definitely finished getting ready much earlier than usual, but I didn’t want to make any steps towards the door just yet. I even considered waiting until it was after 5:00 to leave my room, just to spite Jaehyun for telling me that being late wasn’t an option. This thought lost traction as soon as I remembered the things Jaehyun was capable of when even just the tiniest bit annoyed.  

Better not to anger him.

<><><><><><>

“Right on time, babe,” Jaehyun welcomed me in the most unwelcoming way possible.

He was already on sitting on one of the weight machines. From the beads of sweat that dripped down his jaw on onto his white t-shirt, I could tell that he had already gotten in quite the workout. I wondered how long he had been there for.  

I didn’t want to ignore him, but I didn’t want to exactly engage with him in conversation either, so I gave him my best “fuck you” smile and proceeded to set my water bottle down on the mat.

“What?  No greeting? Not even any pleasantries?” Jaehyun asked as he stood up from the machine. He stared back at me using one of the gym’s towels to wipe his red tinted face.  

I silently scoffed, smiling at his audacity.  

“Oh, I’m sorry. Hello Jaehyun! How are you? Still holding women captive and forcing them to be your bride? Oh, you are? Well, isn’t that just swell?”  

I expected Jaehyun to snap at me for such insolence, or to at least look a little upset, but he just smiled back at me and laughed.  

“That’s funny,” He said wagging his finger at me.  

“Just remember, who’s training you for the next hour.”

I froze, unconsciously biting my tongue. He was right. I shouldn’t push my luck too much. I had no idea why Jaehyun was in such a good mood this morning, but I knew it was in my best interest for it to stay that way. At least until after our little competition.  

Like a beaten dog who’s finely entuned to their master’s change in mood, I noticed a sudden glint of disappointment in his eyes. I watched them trail over my body in search of something he just couldn’t find.  

Once he noticed my noticing, he exhaled abruptly as if he were expelling his thoughts along with his breath.  

“Let’s start by going over yesterday’s match.“

I stared at him silently, waiting for him to elaborate further.  

Jaehyun looked away briefly, clearing his throat in order to break the silence.  

“I am of course, referring to the tactic you used...”

I continued to stare at him not quite sure where he was going. He stared back, gauging my reactions.  

“-or am I just assuming that your decision to storm me was a strategical one?”  

“Does it matter? It didn’t work,” I responded.  

Jaehyun relaxed a little.  

“Ah. So, it was thought out.”

I silently sighed to myself, ready for him to explain why my strategy was flawed or how my impulsiveness is what led to my defeat. I already began piecing together my response. I’d probably ask him how else I was supposed to fight against someone much stronger than myself, or if there even was such a tactic. I could feel the words bubble in my throat waiting for the criticisms, he was about to list.

“You surprised me. That’s not something that happens very often. You should be proud.”

“Wait, what?” I blurted out, suddenly breaking my façade of nonchalance.  

Jaehyun’s eyes widened a bit only for them to crinkle as he laughed.  

“What? Were you expecting me to say something else?”

I reached my hand up to rub the back of my neck. Once Jaehyun understood that I wasn’t going to give any more of a reply, he flashed me a smile that seemed too genuine to have come from a man so... well, ingenuine.  

“I’m being serious. I was really quite impressed. You were fighting against someone you had no chance of winning against, at least not with physical prowess, so you came up with a strategy and not just any strategy, a good one. You understood that I had certain expectations of you and you somehow managed to subvert those expectations in your favor. I had expected you to be hesitant in your actions and assumed that you would wait for me to make the first move. Yet, as soon as the whistle blew you came at me full force. I mean-” Jaehyun stopped abruptly to stare at me.

I was smiling.  

I hadn’t meant to. I just wasn’t thinking about it. I mean, could you blame me? Maybe it was just my ego. What can I say? I’m the type of person who likes being praised. Sue me.  

As soon as I realized why the sudden pause, I forced my face back into one of disinterest. I silently prayed that he would let it slide just this once.  

He didn’t.

“Don’t get big-headed on me now. Just because a cat learns it has stripes, it doesn’t suddenly make it a tiger. You still have a long way to go before you’re ready to use your claws,” He said with a smirk.

I couldn’t tell who I was more embarrassed for; me, for having come across as a girl who just got called pretty by her crush, or him, for having used such a cheesy metaphor, one he was somehow proud of.  

“Now let’s go over some technique. Yesterday, when you charged me, I used a simple maneuver to use your own force against you. Come over here, I’ll show you,” He explained, walking towards the center of the mat.

I hesitated but opted to follow suit as he had instructed. I stopped when I was roughly 4 feet in front of him.  

He took a few steps closer, causing me to back away.  

He paused.  

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to slam you down this time. I’m just going to show you what I did so that you can learn how to avoid it next time, or perhaps even do the same to me.”

I didn’t back away because I thought that he would slam me down on the mat. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. I just didn’t really feel comfortable with being handled by him, even if it was for instructional purposes.  

He stood there, waiting for me to come closer. When I didn’t, he took another step towards me instead.  

Again, I took a step back.  

Jaehyun let out a sigh.  

“How am I supposed to teach you if you won’t even let me touch you?” He asked, obviously annoyed.

“Can’t you just explain it to me verbally?”

“Of course, not. Even if I were to show you the move by doing it on someone else, that doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to recreate it when push comes to shove. Muscle memory is important. You should know that as a dancer.”

I quirked my head to the side.

“You can learn to dance from watching others dance.” I retorted.  

Jaehyun stared at me as if he were a teacher waiting for a disruptive student to stop acting out.

I looked down at the floor.  

“That may be true when preforming a solo act,” He began.  

“But what about when you’re learning a choreography that includes more than one person?”

“Then we practice the choreo on our own. Even when we practice together, it’s not like we really need each other,” I asserted.  

Jaehyun groaned.  

“I’m talking about dances that directly rely on being in sync with the other person’s moves. Like this.”  

Before I could dodge his advance, Jaehyun wrapped his arm around me, capturing my waist and pulling my body into his so that our chests were practically pressed together. I tried to wriggle my way out of his grip but before I could, he used his other hand to grab mine, tightly squeezing it as if warning me that he was not in the mood to play games.  

“Can you waltz?” He asked.

“Never tried it.” I answered.

Without any other warning, Jaehyun began moving his feet dragging me along with him.  

As he moved in precise uniform movements, I stumbled around awkwardly, somehow managing to step onto his feet with every other step. Instead of scolding me, Jaehyun continued to waltz, ignoring my steps as though I were merely a ragdoll he was throwing around as he danced to a song only he could hear.

“The Waltz is a uniform dance with very little room for variance. One could learn the steps and even master them on their own only to flounder around like a fish when matched with a partner.”  

“Yeah, but you can’t exactly learn the steps from practice alone. You need some sort of instruction,” I complained.  

Jaehyun’s steps came to a sudden halt. Instead of releasing me like I had expected him to, he let my body fall, catching it in what I recognized as a “dip.”

“I completely agree, so why don’t we do a little of both? I’ll lead.”  

He released his grip on me and I fell flat onto the mat.  

I sat up, seething with annoyance. Jaehyun stared at me, arms crossed and with a grin so wicked, it’d make the devil anxious, though I’d be surprised if a devil greater than Jaehyun truly existed.

<><><><><><>

Jaehyun showed me exactly how he managed to pin me down so fast. When I came running towards him, he applied a heavy pressure to the top of my chest, thus using my own force against me. He explained that by stalling my upper half, I actually did half of the work for him in knocking me down. Because I had charged so fast, my legs barely had any time to catch up as my upper half was held in place, so they continued to run, flipping me onto my back.  

Once I understood where exactly I went wrong, Jaehyun spent the first half of our session showing me different ways to keep myself guarded against an attack so that I could, in his words, “not be used as a weapon against myself.” The second half of the session was spent showing me examples of ways I could use someone’s force against themselves as he did had done to me. This part was my favorite because Jaehyun let himself fall to the mat every time I followed his instruction in order to show me exactly how the move would work. Even though I knew he was letting me take him down for practice’s sake, I still enjoyed hearing the loud smack it made when his body came in contact with the mat.  

When we finished, he tossed me my water bottle. I quickly down the remainder of its contents.  

“Here, toss it back,” Jaehyun called out, his hand outstretched.  

I did as he instructed.  

He began walking away motioning for me to follow.  

Once we made it to the water fountain, Jaehyun opened my bottle and filled it, tossing it back to me before taking his turn to drink directly from the fountain.  

I stood there watching him, unsure of what else I could do.  

Once he finished, he turned to me.  

“How’s your rib feeling?”  

“My rib?”  

I looked down at my torso having remembered where Taeyong had touched it. The pain, which was sharp and sudden at the time, had now turned into a dull constant.  

“It’s alright, I guess. Better at least.” I informed him.

Jaehyun looked at me, navigating whether or not I was lying.

“Good, that’s good. I was worried that after yesterday I might have made it worse.”  

It was strange. I knew that he was the one who broke it in the first place, but that didn’t keep me from seeing his sincerity.  

“I’ll try my best to avoid damaging it any further during our match. I’m sorry that’s all I can do for you given the circumstances of our bet.”

I knew that his statement was bullshit. I mean, he knew about my rib when he decided upon the terms of our bet. I knew that fighting him on the matter would be pointless though.  

“Will it go back to the way it was before it was broken?” I asked.  

Jaehyun seemed caught off guard by the sudden question.  

He took a second to think.  

“Are you trying to ask if it will heal properly, or if it’ll go back to the way it was before it was broken?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I asked.

Jaehyun gave me a look that seemed to question if I really didn’t know already.

I quirked my head to the side showing him that, no, I really didn’t know.

“When a bone breaks, it's because the bone’s developed a fracture.”

“Okay?” I scoffed, asking if he was really trying to explain what a broken bone was to me.  

“Just, listen,” He continued.

“During the healing process, a callous of extra strong bone forms around the fracture, bonding it together again. This new extra strong bone is meant to protect the fracture as the bone heals but once the bone is fully healed, the area of the fracture is stronger than it was before the break ever occurred so-”

“So, bones heal stronger?” I interrupted.

Jaehyun smiled gently towards me and took a step closer.  

“Y/N, I can’t tell you that your rib will go back to the way it was before, because that wouldn’t be the truth. What I can tell you though, is that maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

Jaehyun reached a hand out towards me. Before I could think about it, I jerked away from his touch.  

Jaehyun hesitated before reeling his hand back. He looked away from me for a second before returning his gaze to mine.

“We should probably start today’s match so that you have enough time to get ready.“

<><><><><><>

Just like the day before, Taeyong blew the whistle and shortly after, I was pinned to the ground. This time I didn’t charge at him, instead I chose to go on the defense. It didn’t take long for Jaehyun to make his move, pinning me instantly. Luckily for me, I didn’t suffer any pain, just frustration. It was like Jaehyun had just picked me up and set me down, easily managing to hold me there until Taeyong called the match.  

I wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still disappointed. The Jaehyun’s newly discovered tenderness from before the match had disappeared, immediately replaced with his usual dirtbag self. Not more than a second after the match had ended, he instructed Taeyong to escort me back to my room to catch me up on today’s plans. Before he left the room, he turned back towards me as I just gotten back on my feet and said, “Don’t be late now, Honey.”

I scoffed at him. He laughed at my reaction which made me want to do a lot more than just scoff at him. I was caught off guard by his sudden usage of the pet name I had called him at dinner the night before. It became clear to me that that’s why he used it instead of opting for “Kitten,” like I had come to expect from him. When spoken by him, the word felt less like a term of endearment and more like a taunt, though a taunt was still better than a threat.  

“At least he’s in a good mood,” I thought to myself.  

Taeyong brought me back to my room, instructing me to shower and put on the dress he left for me on the bed. Once I did as I was asked, I opened the door to let Taeyong back in only to see that both Haechan and Jaemin had been waiting there with him.  

“Jaemin? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Wow, Y/n. You aren’t gonna ask why I’m here?” Haechan pouted over-dramatically.

“I already know why you’re here, Dongfuck. You don’t have a life and so you like to drop in on mine,” I quipped lightheartedly, suddenly realizing that I had to come up with a new nickname for Haechan now that I’d discovered that his name was, well... Haechan.

Fuck, what insult even rhymes with Haechan? Faketan? No that’s stupid and probably problematic. Besides, Haechan’s darker skin tone is literal perfection. Even I have to admit that.

I physically shook my head before going on.  

“I’m asking why Jaemin’s here because he normally takes care of Jisung and Chenle around this time of day.”

I turned to Jaemin who simply laughed as Haechan stuck his tongue out at me. 

“Wow, you really were close friends before this, weren’t you?” He commented.

“What do you mean were? Haechan demanded wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Y/n and I are still as close as a pair of conjoined twins.”

“Please, never use that metaphor ever again.” I sighed already exhausted from the encounter.  

“Anyways, today you’re going to be officially meeting Chenle and Jisung as their soon to be sister-in law. Jaemin is here to make sure that it goes well,” Haechan explained, answering for Jaemin before the poor man even had the chance to open his mouth.  

“Wait, what?”

Instead of explaining further, Haechan guided me towards the vanity, sitting me down in the chair, and immediately going to work on my hair.  

Taeyong and Jaemin both sat on the bed and got to explaining the situation.  

“So, as you already know, Jaehyun has two younger brothers, Chenle and Jisung. I believe that you’ve already met them before, but as a hostage, not as their sister-in-law.  

My mind flashed back to meeting the two younger boys back when I still had horrible bruising all over my face. I recalled the image of a queasy Chenle, asking if his brother really was the one who did that to me.

“I can’t tell them the same story, I told Jessi. They already know that Jaehyun was the one who nearly beat me within an inch of my life!”  

Taeyong and Jaemin looked at each other, obviously aware of something I was not. Haechan on the other hand, continued to act like a dumbass.  

“Ooh! Already on a first name basis with the former lady of the house, are we? So, I take it you’ve successfully gained Jessi’s approval, not that I’m surprised. Personality wise, it’d easier to believe she was your mother than Jaehyun’s. I mean-”  

“We’ve already taken that into consideration,” Taeyong began, cutting Haechan off right in the middle of his rant.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just leave since I’m just gonna be a nuisance,” Haechan pouted.  

When no one acknowledged him, he scoffed in annoyance, but stayed quiet.  

“You see, the boys actually know a lot more than just that,” He continued, glancing at a now sheepish Jaemin.  

“The boys have a habit of eavesdropping and while they were supposed to be in my care... I accidentally fell asleep and they listened in on one of the group’s official meetings.” Jaemin admitted.  

“At the time, you were still under suspicion for IU’s death.” Taeyong explained.  

A look of horror took over my face, causing one to come over Taeyong as well.

“D-don’t worry! Everything has been cleared up. They know that you are not responsible for the death of their sister. They have also been informed that you are responsible for the death of Lucas. They know that you killed him on accident in an attempt to fight for your life, though out of respect for you I didn’t going to any other details of what you went through that night.” He said in an attempt to reassure me.

“Wait, but if they know the truth then what about-”

“Mrs. Ho? She is to remain in the dark about the true nature behind Jaehyun’s and your relationship. They understand the gravity of the situation and have been instructed to speak as little as possible about anything that might rouse suspicion. Jaehyun and I have also decided that it would be best to pretend as though you’ve become something of an older sister to the two of them, but that this is the first they are hearing about your engagement. That’s why Jaemin is here, to help you learn as much as you can about the boys to make this ruse as believable as possible.”

“What the fuck?” I exclaimed, dumbfounded as to how on earth Jaehyun and Taeyong could have decided that this was the best route to take. Having me pretend to know about and be extremely close to a pair of teenagers that I met once and talked with for all of like, what? Five minutes?    

“I know it sounds daunting, but Chenle’s been feeling a bit under the weather lately and Mrs. Ho is aware of that, which gives us an out if anything goes wrong. We even have a signal in case Chenle should need to bring up his condition as an excuse to cut the meeting short.”

“Still though,” I hesitated, not fully convinced.  

“Listen,” Jaemin interjected.  

“You don’t have to act like a big happy family, giving them hugs and stuff. If anything, that would make Mrs. Ho really suspicious. Just act like how you would any other teenager. Act snarky, roast them, I don’t know. There are more ways to show closeness than acting like you're in a lifetime Christmas special. Besides, it makes sense for you to not know everything about them since Mrs. Ho still believes that you and Jaehyun met only a few months ago. We just have to get you knowledgeable enough for Mrs. Ho to-”

“Knock! Knock!” Someone called from outside the door.  

“Why say ‘knock?’ Why not just do it if you’re gonna say what you’re doing?” Haechan groaned, almost unreasonably annoyed by the knock knock-er’s chipper demeanor.  

Taeyong scowled at Haechan before walking toward the door.  

“Who is that?” I asked.  

“That should be Momo with the boys,” Jaemin answered.  

“Wait, what? Why are they here? I’m not ready.”

“It’ll be fine. Think of this as a practice round. You’ll do great!” Jaemin gave me two thumbs up as Taeyong opened the door.  

I definitely was not ready and by the looks of it, neither were they.  

Momo and Taeyong stood by the door as Jaemin motioned for Jisung and Chenle to come over.  

It hadn’t been more than a couple days since I had last seen the two of them yet I wouldn’t have recognized the yellow haired boy had I not been expecting to see him. While Jisung looked almost exactly the same as the day we met, Chenle looked as though he were the one who had been locked up in the estate’s basement, not me. The dark spots that lay wrapped below his eyes took up more space on the young boy’s face than the eyes themselves. The state of his cheeks made it obvious that what he lacked in sleep, he definitely wasn’t making up for in calories. The chubby cheeks I had remembered were long gone, now sunken in to the extent one might mistake the boy for a character in a Tim Burton movie. He looked less like a teenaged boy and more like an old man, hair loss and all.  

To describe him as a bit under the weather as Taeyong had only moments prior would be like saying that Hitler was kind of a douche; not necessarily untrue, but definitely not the most accurate way of portraying the severity of things. Chenle looked sickly, though I couldn’t think of any sickness with symptoms so... apparent.  

Neither him nor Jisung looked particularly excited to see me, which is of course understandable since to them, I’m practically that one distant relative who your parents made you hug as a kid despite your apparent discomfort. Though, while Jisung just looked awkward and unsure of where he should focus his eyes, Chenle looked at me as though I were the cause of his illness.  

It looked as though simply being near me was physically painful for him. I kept his gaze, trying to uncover the cause of his extreme discomfort towards me. It was strange. There was no hatred in his eyes, something I should have been relieved by given that we were going to have to act all buddy-buddy with each other, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he was looking at me like a child who’s about to be told on to his parents.  

“I thought we could start with you guys telling Y/n your interests. Does that sound good?” said Jaemin.

The two took turns telling me about which video games were their favorites and about what sports they played at school. It was awkward at first, especially since it felt like the first day of school and our teacher decided to make everyone takes turns introducing themselves and saying three things about themselves, something which teachers don’t understand is actually torture in its purest form.

Though I was lost as fuck when Jisung tried to explain this game called Amoungus to me, Jaemin interjected to ask the two of them what their favorite show was. That was when things started to look a bit brighter.  

“Well, right now, me and Chenle are watching this show called HunterXHunter.”

“HunterXHunter?” I asked, suddenly more serious than was necessary.  

“Uh, yeah. Have you heard of it?” Jisung asked, confused.  

“Which one? The 1999 one or the 2011 one?”  

Both of the two boys lit up a bit.  

“Wait, there’s a 1999 version?” Chenle asked, this being the first time he spoke without being needing to be nudged first by his brother.

“Uh, yeah. And get this, it’s better. Don’t get me wrong, the newer one is great. I love the art style, but the 1999 verion includes more from the manga that the 2011 version completely leaves out.”

“You read manga?” Chenle asked, excitedly, and for a split second, he resembled the boy I met before, still strung out, but not as much so.  

“No, I just read an article comparing the manga to the show- Of course I fucking read manga,” I replied, probably laying the sarcasm on a little too thick.  

I paused as the two boys looked at each other and nodded.  

“Do you like shoujo or shonen better?” Jisung asked, though it sounded more like a demand.  

“I won’t lie, I like shoujo a lot. Don’t roast me though I like both. It depends on my mood. Sometimes I wanna read a high-stakes power fantasy battle palooza with fucking lasers, and other times, I just wanna read about a high-schooler asking out his crush.”

“I get that,” Jisung nodded.

“Yeah, that’s because you get all your dating advice from playing dating sims,” Chenle snorted.

Jisung glared at Chenle and raised his hand, but quickly lowered it as though reconsidering hitting him when the older is in such a weak state.  

The four of us started laughing only to be interrupted by a concerned voice.  

“Mrs. Ho, what are you doing here?” Taeyong stuttered.

Momo quickly bowed to her, prompting Jaemin to stand up and do the same.

“Is it strange for me to be walking around my own house?” Jessi asked eyeballing Taeyong.

“No, of course not ma’am. It’s just that I was expecting for us all to meet at the dining room table later today like what was planned.”  

“I too thought that that was to be the case, but when I heard my son’s laughter from Y/n’s room, I figured I’d stop by.”

Jessi walked further into the room. Everyone did their best to hide any signs of the shock, nervousness, or stress they were feeling, though nobody did a good job.  

I let out a soft laugh. To think that I was going to have to rely on them, they’re the ones who’ll be depending on me to make this go smoothly.  

“Jessi! What’s up?”

Jessi wipes the back of her hand over her forehead as if wiping off an imaginary bead of sweat.  

“Whew. Thank god. I thought you were gonna be all formal with me again just because there were others around.” She laughed, taking a seat on the vanity table  

“You know, this might actually be better having a formal meeting anyway,” Jessi said, switching to Korean for the rest of the room’s inhabitants.  

“Oh, uh... sure. Why not?” Taeyong replied.

Jessi stared at him silently, making Taeyong even more nervous.  

“Well?” She asked.

Taeyong hesitated, unsure of what to do.  

“Yes?”

“Go get him.”

“Pardon?”

“Jaehyun. Go get Jaehyun. He should be here for this shouldn’t he?”  

“Ah. Yes. Of course. Right away.”  

Taeyong gave me a look as if to ask if I’d be okay while he was away. I gave him a little nod and made a “shoo” motion in response.  

Both him and Momo disappeared, her bowing once again before making her exit.

Luckily, the moments that were filled with Taeyong’s absence had been taken up by the exchange of simple pleasantries. I asked Jessi how she slept, she told me she slept well. She asked me the same, I replied the same. Then she turned to Jaemin to ask whether Chenle had taken his medicine yet, to which he responded with a simple, yes.  

Taeyong returned as quickly as he came which was surprising given how Jaehyun must have been busy with other matters given the meeting’s spontaneity of the meeting.  

He entered the room following Taeyong and stopping to rest his hands on my shoulders as he stood behind my sitting place. I had expected him to do something physical since his mother was here, so I was able to mentally prepare myself and refrain from flinching away from his touch.

The meeting was short, with Jaehyun announcing that he and I were getting married. Jisung and Chenle reacted with surprise and then faux excitement. I hadn’t needed to do much except for sit there, which was a relief. Jaemin and the kids were the first to leave, with Jaemin announcing that it was time for them to work on their homework. Taeyong escorted Jessi back to her room leaving Jaehyun and I to be the only ones left.  

“Good job.” Jaehyun said, now having sat directly in front of me on the bed.  

I nodded trying my best to hide my anxiety.  

“Tomorrow I’ve arranged to have several dresses sent to the estate for you to try on. You may pick whichever one you like. My mother will be there to aid you.”

“Dresses?”  

Jaehyun laughed at my reaction.  

Jaehyun set his hands onto the bed and leaned back slightly.  

“I do believe that it is tradition for the bride to wear a dress on her wedding day,” He mused.  

“Oh.” I muttered.

Jaehyun stared back at me with a relaxed smile.  

I took the time to get a good look at Jaehyun, something I hadn’t thought to do during the meeting. He wore a simple white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his forearms. I remembered walking in to find him sitting on the weight machine only a few hours earlier. It made sense that he worked out given his build. Body types like that don’t just happen naturally. Even his hands were muscular.  

I felt conflicted. If I had seen this man on the street a month ago, I probably wouldn’t hesitate to imagine those arms wrapped around me, or maybe even his hands digging into my hips, but after what I had experienced, all I could think about was the feeling of losing consciousness as their grip tightened around my throat.  

I did my best to be subtle as I looked down at his thighs. I wasn’t surprised to see that the light grey slacks did little to hide that they, like his arms, were... large.  

We sat in silence just staring at each other until Jaehyun stood up from the bed, now at least 3 heads taller than my sitting form.  

He leaned forward resting his hands on the armrests of my chair. Trapping me.  

I froze.  

“It’ll probably take the entire afternoon to finish all the work I have left, so I likely won’t be joining you all for dinner.”

And with that, he left.  

<><><><><>

Jaehyun was right. He wasn’t be able to attend dinner. I wasn’t surprised by his absence; It was everyone else’s absence I was surprised by. Not a single member of 127 nor Jaemin or Jeno attended dinner that night, leaving Jessi, Jisung, Chenle, and I to awkwardly sit around theorizing about what business they had that kept them away.  

<><><><><>

Jaehyun could feel his blood boil as Taeyong and Jeno made him aware the sudden turn of events.

“And you’re sure the messenger was unaware of the message’s contents?” He asked the two men.  

“We’re sure,” Taeyong answered.

“Since we don’t usually receive deliveries directly to the house without being made aware of them in advance, I took every precaution in questioning the man myself,” added Jeno.  

“His story checked out. We quickly confirmed that he was a registered courier at a local delivery service within the district. I opened the letter in front of him and once I realized its contents, I demanded all information regarding the letter’s origin. After informing Taeyong, we sent over several men over to inspect their security footage, but it seems that the letter was actually delivered to them via a different delivery service. We have men over there as well checking their footage and all, but it seems as though they managed to send the letter through a system I’ve never seen before. The letter was put into several other envelopes, each one containing instructions and payment for the next delivery. Since each company only opened the outer envelope, we were unable to see any past instruction that may had been included before the letter reached each individual company.”

“How long will it take to trace the source of the letter?” Jaehyun inquired.

“We don’t know. It depends on how many companies they went through. We won’t be able to locate the original sender, especially if their trail is long gone by the time we reveal any trace of their identity. We might not even be able to discern how long the letter has been in transport for quite some time. Our best guess is that it’s only been in transport for 1 to 2 days.” Taeyong sighed, showing his frustration at the situation.  

Jaehyun dragged his hands down his face, his good mood now a distant memory.  

“Two days, huh?” He pondered, staring down at the piece of paper he held in his hands.  

If you fail to hand Y/N over to us, then prepare for a red wedding.  

“Call everyone up here, now.“

Jaehyun watched silently as his office began to slowly fill with the members of 127.

Taeyong and Jeno made sure to inform them all of the gravity of the meeting thus ensuring that none of the members were to speak until Jaehyun officially started the meeting.  

“Where is he?” Jaehyun demanded.

Everyone began exchanging glances, not yet sure of who exactly it was that Jaehyun was referring to.    

“We’re here,” Taeyong announced as both he and Winwin entered the room.  

“And where exactly were you?” Jaehyun asked, making it obvious that his question was directed more at Winwin than the both of them.

“He was in the library, reading,” Taeyong answered for him.  

“If he was that close, then why was he the last to be found?”  

Winwin approached Jaehyun. He reached his hand into his pants pocket, retrieving a pair of earbuds before placing them on the oak desk.  

“I had them in, so I couldn’t hear my name when it was being called,” Winwin smirked, staring straight into the eyes of the man sitting in front of him.  

Jaehyun scowled.  

“You know, Winwin. Ever since I relieved Johnny of his duty to keep an eye on you, I often spent my time wondering where you were and what you could be off doing.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet?” Winwin commented, his tone filled with mockery.  

Instead of getting angry, Jaehyun smiled, catching everyone, including Winwin off guard.  

“As it turns out, my musing was pointless,” Jaehyun explained, as he placed the letter on the desk, directly on top of Winwin’s earbuds.  

Winwin read the letter without needing to touch it or lean closer to it.  

He frowned but said nothing.  

Jaehyun continued.  

“I don’t have to ask myself where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing because I already know.”

Winwin already knew what was coming.  

“You’ve been telling Wayv our secrets.”

The meeting went as one would expect. Jaehyun showed the letter to the remaining members, had Taeyong and Jeno go over what they had gone over earlier with him, and then Jaehyun posed the very important question, “How come only days after Johnny stopped watching over you, we receive a letter from Wayv confirming that they found out about the wedding?”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Yuta interjected.  

Everyone looked up at him expectantly. Yuta froze, as though he came to Winwin’s defense without having even thought of what he was going to say.  

Before Jaehyun could move on, Taeil began to speak.  

“Wait, he’s right. Didn’t Taeyong and Jeno say that we have no way of knowing for sure how long the letter has been in transit? It’s possible that the letter has been in transit since before Johnny stopped keeping watch over Winwin.”  

“Yeah,” Yuta exclaimed, having regained his momentum.  

“And besides, wouldn’t Winwin have known that updating Wayv this soon after regaining his freedom would put him under suspicion?”

Jaehyun paused.  

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t out rule the likelihood that Winwin’s loyalty is with Wayv. It’s highly probable that he prioritized his mission to leak information over his own safety.”

“No, that’s not necessarily true. If that were the case, then why would Wayv have sent such a message? If they knew that the wedding going to be announced in five days anyway, then why would they put Winwin under suspicion? Wouldn’t they want us to trust Winwin so he could leak information more easily?” Taeil pressed on.

Jaehyun, Taeil, and Yuta continued arguing with each other as Winwin and the others watched in silence.

“I’ve made my decision,” Jaehyun announced.  

“Winwin will be removed from any NCT related activity until further notice and will be placed back under heavy watch.”

“Will I be the one to watch over him again?” Johnny asked.

“No,” Jaehyun answered.  

“This time, Taeil will be the one to watch over Winwin.”

“But sir, I thought you said you didn’t want me to watch over him given our close relationship.”  

“I am aware of that Taeil, but given how eager you are to prove Winwin’s innocence, perhaps that will motivate you in making sure that nothing gets past you. If Winwin were to fall under suspicion again, just know that you’ll be the one to we turn to in confirming his innocence. I also doubt that if Winwin were to display suspicious behavior that you would try to cover up for him.”  

Jaehyun looked at Winwin.

“Today cameras will be set up in your room. You are not to leave your room without Taeil there to escort you. You will not be permitted to use any electronic devices without Taeil either. As for the rest of you,”

Jaehyun looked around the room.  

“From this moment on, no one is permitted to speak to Winwin regarding anything NCT related.”

[2manyfandoms2count]

Four months later, my contribution for the @mlwritersguild April event! The prompts were the snake, ladybug, cat, ticket and treble emojis.

Note: I started writing this after Truth and Lie aired, and I tweaked it to be set after Gang of Secrets, but before the rest of the season; it's basically what I hoped would happen before all of the Ladynoir drama unfolded this season. I hope you'll enjoy this take!

Read on AO3

---

Of irony and trust

Sometimes, Ladybug liked to take a break and muse about how ironic life could be. The topic of such instances varied from I got grounded for skipping class and of all the places in Paris, the one I had to sneak out to because of a freaking Akuma happened to be the place I would have been in had I not been grounded in the first place to I’m the holder of a luck-associated divine artefact, yet out of two love letters and a constipation medicine prescription, guess which one ended in my crush’s hands .

Tonight’s boiled down to being caught stalking her ex-boyfriend (if they’d ever made it to the defining part of their relationship) in, granted, a fairly discrete manner, since she’d been transformed at the time, to check he was still doing okay after his akumatisation, and ending up not only being thanked for her concern and for saving him, but also being apologised to for falling for Shadowmoth's promises again, something which she still considered she’d been largely responsible for (even though Alya insisted that her secret had probably just been the metaphorical last straw, and that Luka would have broken down about truths sooner or later).

She sighed, looking into the sunset as she played with the two tickets Luka had offered her by way of thanks, wondering what she could, and should do with them.

In spite of everything, Marinette was bound to get one for herself any day now; Kitty Section were opening for Jagged Stone at the annual Bastille Day concert, a week from then, and if her friends didn’t invite her directly given the circumstances, there was a high chance that she’d get an invitation from Jagged himself to thank her for designing his latest album cover.

That being said, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to go. Watching Luka play on stage would only remind her of the fact that she couldn’t be in a relationship until all the Miraculouses were back in the box, even though it had felt amazing to be distracted from Miraculous matters for a bit.

Her mind wandered to Chat Noir, who was uncharacteristically late. She was faced with a very peculiar dilemma at the moment, one she could have used Master Fu’s wisdom to resolve; on the one hand, revealing her identity to Alya had been one of the best things to happen to her in a while. She felt a lot lighter, and it really made her wonder if sharing her identity with her partner would be such a bad idea. On the other hand, her mentor’s warning and her glimpse at an alternate reality where caution had seemingly been thrown to the wind still echoed in her mind like a tolling bell.

She knew Chat Noir trusted her, like she trusted him; a lot was left unsaid in their peculiar relationship, but that was something they’d never lie about - or at least she hoped so. She also knew that having revealed her identity to somebody who wasn’t her partner, and not even telling the latter about it, was a dangerous flame to play with. One maybe hanging out with him more, say, to start, at a concert, might help dampen ever so slightly.

It wasn’t like she could invite anybody else, and especially not Adrien, anyway…

An unfamiliar thunk, followed by a short skidding sound, startled her before she could reconsider her other options, and had her scrambling to her feet to assume a defensive stance, eyes darting around to find the source of the sudden interruption. Had somebody been Akumatised? What was their power? And where on Earth was Chat N-

“Sorry, don’t panic, Ladybug! It’s just me,” a voice sounded from slightly below her, drawing her attention to the edge of the rooftop, and to the lyre that appeared to have been thrown at her feet. The magical instrument made her shake off the thought that the voice had sounded a lot like her partner’s, and sure enough, instead of the black-clad superhero, it was a green-hooded one whose head emerged from the side of the building, slightly breathless from the climb.

“Adri-, I mean, Aspik?”

“Hey,” he hoisted himself up and brushed off some white dust from his suit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I wasn’t expecting you to already be there,” he added sheepishly. “I thought I’d have time to recover from scaling the building.” He bent over, resting his hands on his knees to try and catch his breath.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” She chuckled lightly at his pun. His humour was almost as good as Chat Noir’s. “You know that the lyre does enable you climb up things, though, right?” She smiled as she plucked a chord. A music staff appeared between them, and she demonstrated by starting to climb it, as if it were an elaborate staircase. The soft notes of a scale echoed around them as her feet landed on the lines.

As she turned towards him to gauge his reaction, she saw that he looked at her with something between fascination and mild annoyance.

“Chat Noir didn’t show you, did he?” she asked, jumping down and giving him the lyre back, a small blush dusting her cheeks.

“I’m not sure he knew himself,” Aspik muttered back.

“Right." She smiled tightly. "Miraculous powers was actually something I wanted to talk to him about tonight.”

“Ah. You weren’t expecting me, then, were you?”

Ladybug paused. She’d honestly forgotten about Chat Noir asking her if he could borrow the Snake Miraculous; it had happened right after Marinette had told Alya about being Ladybug, which had kickstarted a whole lot of research to ensure her friend was protected. She’d of course managed to make it to patrols physically, but even so, her mind had been a little elsewhere.

She just remembered Chat telling her that he might be busy in the upcoming weeks, but that he refused to leave her alone on patrols. She’d felt a little guilty about the comment and apologised yet again for the ones she’d missed, but her partner had brushed it off with a smile.

“Not really, no. But I’m very glad to have you here with me!” She poked his arm as playfully as she could muster, but his cocked eyebrows told her he wasn’t fooled in the least. “To be completely honest with you… I’m not sure who I was expecting.” She smiled sadly. “We haven’t exactly discussed bringing heroes back since most of our temps’ identities were leaked, so really, it could have been anyone new, or you, or…” She glanced down at her tickets again, and his eyes followed hers.

His understanding nod turned into an inquisitive look as her gaze darkened. She had to admit that she was relieved Viperion wasn't the one Chat Noir had chosen to replace him (temporarily, her partner was absolutely irreplaceable - she made a mental note to tell him as much again the next time she saw him) tonight; she wasn't sure she would've survived two surprise conversations with him in the same day. There was just too much guilt weighing on her heart when it came to him, although she hoped that time would eventually lessen it.

“Um, Ladybug?” Her companion probed.

“Yes?” She shook herself out from her guilt-ridden daze.

“Are you alright? You seem a little… troubled.”

“It’s nothing, really.” She tried to give him a convincing smile before sitting back down on the edge of the rooftop. When had it become so hard to act bubbly around Adrien? It was kind of nice not to be a blabbering mess for once, but she wished she could feel a little more upbeat.

“Sure? I’m here if you want to talk, you know; it’s kind of in my job description.” He sat down next to her and nudged her elbow.

“You have a job description?” One of her eyebrows shot up.

“Well, you know… It’s not because Chat Noir can’t be here tonight that he doesn’t want you to feel supported.”

“My sweet, thoughtful Kitty,” she shook her head with a smile, before sighing. She didn’t notice Aspik’s cheeks pinken, just under the fangs of his mask. “To be quite honest with you, I’m a little worried about him.”

“You are?”

Ladybug paused, uncertain whether she should continue or not. Aspik’s encouraging look helped her make up her mind. “It’s just something he said not too long ago… about only having fun when he’s with me.”

“Ah.” Aspik twiddled his thumbs.

“He brushed it off like it was a completely natural thing to say, but I still find it concerning.”

“I guess the wording isn’t very reassuring,” Aspik said cautiously. “It sounds worse than it probably is, though; he does, I mean, he must have friends, and he must have fun with them. Maybe… maybe you just caught him at a bad time?”

“I suppose it had been a pretty long day.” She pouted thoughtfully after a short pause. “But I don’t know, it scares me. I… Well, things haven’t been easy in my life either, especially lately, but there’s a part of me who’s afraid to tell him just in case… in case he really meant it. I really don’t want to spoil his fun.” She bit her lip, then shook her head with a nervous chuckle. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” That was half a lie. Adrien was a friend she knew she could trust, one whose presence felt very comforting. Maybe the sunset was getting to her head, making her feel like they were above time and reality, but she almost believed that they were in a safe bubble.

“I really don’t mind, if you don’t. Miraculouses come with professional confidentiality anyway, right? Whatever you say will stay between us. I promise.” He smiled. Ladybug could tell it was genuine, but there seemed to be something brave about it, too, as if he were ready for a band aid to be ripped off. “What could you possibly tell him that would ruin his time with you?”

She looked at him lengthily, gauging him. “Firstly, I don’t want him to worry about me. And secondly…” She was about to tell him about sharing her secret identity with Alya (without naming names, of course), when the thought that if Chat wasn’t the first to learn this information, her guilt would deepen, crossed her mind. “Ugh, see? I’m doing it again, opening up about stuff that would concern him directly with other people, instead of telling him directly. I’m such a bad friend.” She put the tickets to one side and held her head in her hands.

“I don’t think you are.” She felt him pat her back tentatively. “Actually, you… You kind of remind me of one of my friends.” She peeked at him through her fingers; although his hand was still soothingly rubbing her shoulder blades, he was looking at the street below, a soft smile on his lips. “I think you know her, Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Anyway, she’s a really great person, but sometimes she makes mistakes, too. It’s alright, though, because she always means well. Like you.” He smiled at her, this time. She felt her cheeks warm as their eye contact lingered. “My point is,” he cleared his throat, “Chat Noir knows you, and trusts you, right? You just need to trust him.”

“I already do.”

“Then what are you risking? Is what you did really that bad?”

“Not in the grand scheme of things, I guess.” She paused. “I don’t think I had much choice, anyway. But even if I don't really regret what happened, I'm concerned that he won't understand why there are some things I can't open up to him, specifically, about.”

“Honestly, you'd be surprised at how much he'd be ready to let slide when it comes to your relationship," Aspik said quietly. "It's no secret how much he, erm… appreciates you."

"I love him very much, too," Ladybug whispered. "And that's why I don't want to see him hurt. Ever." Ever again , she thought. "And this… This will definitely hurt."

"Okay, but look at it this way: sparing him is an honourable reason to withhold information from him, but if you don't tell him what you can soon, it might end up hurting him even more, for instance, if he somehow learns about it from somebody else. Or, depending on how important that information is, he might feel hurt that you kept it from him for so long." He bit his lip and eyed his bracelet.

"You're right. I know you're right." She grunted and leaned back, looking at the swirling orange clouds. It reminded her of another warm sunset exchange she'd had, after spending an afternoon in what had felt like the coldest world ever. "It's just so difficult for me to wrap my head around, I can't imagine what it'll be like for him."

"You might have to give him a bit of time and space, then,” Aspik warned her. "But eventually I'm sure he'll come around."

“I hope so.” She sighed. Her yoyo beeped, signalling the end of patrol time. She hesitated to ignore it; Adrien had proven to be a very enjoyable partner - not that she’d doubted he’d be when he’d shown up, really, but something about talking about Chat Noir had helped her keep a rather level head with him. She knew she had to head back, though. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to remain coherent if they switched topic, something she felt like they'd need to do soon if she didn't want to say too much, and beyond that, she had an important essay to outline and write for the next day. “Well, I think that’s our cue. Thank you for keeping me company tonight.” She smiled, pushing herself up and holding a hand out for Aspik. He took it and she helped him up.

They stood facing each other for a bit, smiling, unsure about how to properly end the patrol. It wasn’t like they could walk each other home, really. A small gust of wind ruffled the tickets which still lay on the ground, under one of Ladybug’s feet.

“Oh, hey, you’re forgetting this.” Aspik bent down to retrieve them and handed them to her.

“Right, thanks.” She looked down. Their discussion had boosted her confidence regarding talking to Chat, but she still didn’t know who to give her second invitation to. If she gave it to anyone.

“Who’s the second ticket for?” He nodded towards her hands, as if reading her mind.

“I was actually trying to figure it out before you arrived.” She smiled. “I kind of feel like I should gift it to you as thanks for being so great. Tonight! Just tonight, of course. Although I’m sure you’re just as great every single day,” she winced at her awkwardness. “But you’re going to be there anyway, aren’t you? And on stage.”

“If I can even make it. My schedule’s been a little all over the place lately.” His eyes darkened for a fraction of a second as he toyed with his bracelet, before lighting up again so fast Ladybug thought she’d dreamt it. “But I think you and I both know who you should give this to.” He gave her a pointed look. “I think it would be a great way to butter your partner up before delivering whatever bad news you’re withholding from him.” He winked.

“Very smart. And very practical. You know, you’re a lot like Chat Noir, actually. It’s a compliment,” she added quickly as she saw him tense up.

“Well, I sure hope so, my Lady,” he chuckled. The words sounded foreign, and yet right, in the hooded boy’s mouth.

“What… what did you say?” She gaped.

“I'm obviously not used to this Miraculous, I accidently activated it when I played with it. It doesn't happen with the ring, you see." He smiled and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly as she looked on, slightly bewildered. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you won't remember any of this, but since we're here... I’d be happy to find a way to join you at the concert, my Lady." He bowed and kissed her hand. "It was lovely chat-ting with you tonight, I'm not sure I'm looking forward to what you have to tell me, but you know what? Thank you for the heads up.” He straightened up and squeezed her hand in his. "I'll be waiting for your call, after we're really done with our conversation." He placed his other hand on his wrist, and Ladybug's hand immediately flew to it, eyes almost feverish in the setting sun.

“Adrien, I mean, Aspik, Chat , wait-”

He paused, looking at her expectantly.

"Why?" Her question came out as softly as the hand that was suddenly cupping his cheek. "Why pretend you couldn't come tonight?"

"I had a couple of things I felt like maybe getting off my chest, if I got the opportunity.” He shrugged, leaning into her touch. “I just wanted to make sure I could backtrack if I made a mistake.”

“Oh." Ladybug gulped, and looked down. "Chaton, I... I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me about your own problems.” Her piercing gaze met his again as she ran her thumb along the edge of his mask. “If something’s burdening you, I’ll be more than happy to help carry the weight. You can trust me, you know that?”

“I already do my Lady.” He winked at her and kissed the palm of her hand quickly before touching his bracelet again. “Now, I don't trust you not to be mad if I run out of time, though."

"Yeah, I don't think I'd be ready to let that slide just yet." Her eyes twinkled in the dusk light.

"In that case... Second chance.”

[first-of-her-nxme]

It looks like one of my answers doesn’t show up in the tags so I’ll copy it here, just in case. It might be interesting for the asoiaf fans, Jaqen’s and Arya’s fans in particular;)

So, the question I received was:

Where is the coherent foreshadowing for Jaqen and Arya? It all seems taken out of fucking nowhere

And here we go:

It starts in the very first book when Arya names her direwolf after the queen who married a Dornishman, and it never stops because Arya and Jaqen are repeating Lyanna’s and Rhaegar’s story. Of course, in ASOIAF, the story is never exactly the same. Which by the way gives me hope that at least they will have their happy ending. Or the closest thing to a happy ending, which in George Martin’s world means less heartbreaking than the others’s endings;d

Trouble with Jaqarya foreshadowing is that George Martin started writing the story with a five year gap in mind between Arya’s arrival in Braavos and A Dance with Dragons. So, when he first envisioned the story he already had a 15 year old Arya in mind. It means that Arya and Jaqen would have reunited in A Dance with Dragons already and she would have been old enough for a romance. It also means that Jaqen’s identity would have been revealed in A Dance with Dragons.

But, since GRRM abandoned the idea, we have to wait for the reveal till The Winds of Winter. As a consequence the whole build-up is made of hints, symbols, clues, metaphors, parallels to R/L and so on. Nothing is said explicitly because it would ruin the big reveal of who Jaqen is and what’s ahead of them.

So, from the top:

1. Arya names her direwolf after Nymeria, a queen who found home far from her own country and who married a Dornishman. Jaqen is half Dornish, he is Elia’s and Rhaegar’s son, Aegon VI. I already pinned the answer about his true identity to my profile so please read it if you need further explanation.

Thanks to the Game of Thrones finale we know that Arya will sail across the sunset sea. I searched through the books after s8 and of course I found information that they both, J&A, will leave. I guess I need to thank D&D for Arya’s ending, otherwise I would have overlooked the clues completely.

So, either they will find home far away, somewhere in the sea, or in Braavos or in Dorne or they will return to Jaqen’s castle ( the Red Keep or Dragonstone ). Wherever they will stay, it’s going to be far from Arya’s birth place, Winterfell.

2. Nymeria has golden eyes, Arya thinks that they shine like golden coins - it’s another connection to Jaqen ( Aegon ) who switches his iron coin for a golden dragon in A Feast for Crows. The coin is poisoned and kills Pate but it’s also a symbol of courtship. Pate needed it to claim his beloved Rosey.

3. On the way to King’s Landing, Arya is picking up flowers in the Neck, perhaps in the same area where the flowers for Lyanna’s crown had been picked. Ned is deeply moved when he sees Arya with the flowers because she reminds him of Lya. The flowers are purple - purple is the symbol of royal birth, of the rightful heir to the throne whom Jaqen ( Aegon ) is. They are called poisoned kisses and burn Arya’s hands - Jaqen is using poisons and represents fire. He is a Targ, a future dragon rider. Arya will also burn her hands and lips in the House of Black and White while learning to make poisons.”Poisoned kisses” is a bad name, it implies doomed love which reminds us of R/L. For Arya it means a love for the murderer. Hopefully with a happier ending than Lya’s love.      

4. Ned tells Arya that she will marry a king and rule his castle and they will have sons. Like I said before, Jaqen is the rightful king. In A Clash of Kings, Arya even reveals his identity though it is very cleverly concealed in the scene when she gives him his own name. To be brief: it's a play on words; he asks her if the name of the king she wants dead is Joffrey and she answers the name ( of the king ) is Jaqen H’ghar. So Joffrey is not the king, he’s impostor, the true king is Jaqen.

5. In King’s Landing, Arya has dreams of Rhaenys though she doesn’t realize it. She also catches Rhaenys’s cat, her “little dragon”, and kisses its forehead. In Harrenhal, Jaqen kisses her forehead as if to return the kiss;)

6. Arya ruins Sansa’s silk dress and offers to make her a new one. Sansa tells her she could make a dress good enough only to clean the pigsty.

That pigsty is kind of a big deal.

In fairytales, princes disguise themselves as swineherds to hide their true identity, like in H.C Andersen’s story “The Swineherd”.

George Martin used this motif in his books too. In AFFC Jaqen wears the face of Pate “the Pig Boy”. Arya, on the other hand, lives in Braavos in his house, makes dresses and sweeps the floors. She lives in the Pig Boy’s house, in the pigsty, and cleans it -  just like Sansa has said. Only the pigsty is the prince’s house like Ned has foretold.

7. In Harrenhal, Jaqen wakes Arya from her wolf dream and kisses her. This motif comes from the Sleeping Beauty fairytale - only the prince can awake the sleeping beauty.

8. Also in Harrenhal, Jaqen and Arya make their “weasel soup”. They pour hot broth on the guards to free the Northmen. Jaqen gives Arya a pair of padded gloves and he is wearing the identical gloves himself, while they struggle the pot of soup between them - it’s a metaphor for sharing power. Gloves are symbol of power and noble birth.

The cooking pot is another motif borrowed from “The Swineherd” - the prince has a magic pot that plays a song. Jaqen ( Aegon ) has a song too, a song of Ice and Fire.

9. Jaqen gives Arya his coin ( we already know it’s a symbol of courtship ) and she pays with it for a passage across the narrow sea. She crosses the sea to get to the House of Black and White, the house of darkness.

In Greek mythology, the souls of dead people pay with a coin to cross the river and get to the Underworld. Arya, like Persephone, is first shown while picking up flowers and then she descends into the Underworld seduced by GRRM’s version of Hades. Hades has a three-headed dog, Jaqen has a prophecy ( and the coin ) of a three-headed dragon.

10. When Arya meets the Ghost of High Heart, the witch compares her to Jenny, a girl with flowers in her hair who fell in love with a Targaryen prince.

11. In ASOS, Arya listens to Tom Sevenstrings playing My Featherbed song. The song was written by Rhaegar for Lyanna. It tells the story of Jenny and Duncan Targaryen but Rhaegar concealed his own feelings for Lya in the text. The lyrics refer to Arya and Jaqen as well - they repeat J/D and R/L story of a Targaryen prince and a girl from the North.

Of course Rhaegar didn’t know about his son and Lya’s niece when he wrote the song:))

The song is not about Gendrya, like people think. I already mentioned it in one of my answers. It’s very important because it helps to understand what had happened in Harrenhal and what will happen to Arya and Jaqen.

Arya hears My Featherbed after Gendry invited her to the smithy. He knocked her over and they wrestled. Her dress was torn and she looked as if someone had tried to hurt her. Right after Tom plays Rhaegar’s song. Gendry obviously didn’t want to hurt Arya but that scene explains what Robert did in Harrenhal after Rhaegar left - he was furious that Rhaegar crowned Lya so he demanded “his rights”. That’s why Lyanna ran off. Rhaegar was her rescue.

12. In the House of Black and White Arya sleeps under the red blanket which reminds her of her favorite blanket from Winterfell. I’m sure it’s Jaqen’s blanket, and perhaps his bed too, because red is his color: red hair, red poison, red war, red god, red comet over Harrenhal, red dragon (?)  - red accompanies him throughout his journey. Of course black is his color too, it’s the color of the Stranger. Red and black are the colors of House...

13. In Arya’s Braavosi chapters GRRM concealed the story of the beginning of Rhaegar’s and Lyanna’s love in Harrenhal. But that’s a massive story to tell so I will write a separate post about it.

14. Finally, in Mercy chapter Arya hears the story of the first Black Pearl of Braavos, the pirate queen, and her affair with King Aegon IV. She sighs wistfully and says that she would love to see a dragon too. Dragon here means more than an animal, GRRM once again hints at her future romance with the Dragon.

15. “Mercy” chapter parallels the prologue to A Feast for Crows. Originally it was meant to be in AFFC but GRRM eventually moved it to TWOW.

Perhaps GRRM wanted Jaqen’s chapter to start AFFC and Arya’s chapter to end the book. The prologue is a chapter with two main motifs: dragons and love. “Mercy” is a chapter of revenge and love for a dragon. The prologue starts at night when Pate’s beloved is sleeping naked in her room. “Mercy” starts at dawn when Arya wakes up naked in her room and sees a dragon boat passing beneath her window.

But those two chapters are so rich in parallels that they deserve a separate post as well:)

16. While Jaqen and Arya are having their adventures in Oldtown and Braavos respectively, in the North Mance is infiltrating Winterfell. Mance is posing as a bard. He sings a song of a Dornishman’s wife in turn with the Northman’s daughter. It’s another delightful hint that the Northman’s daughter, Ned’s daughter is ( well, will be ) the Dornishman’s wife.

As you can see it’s a pretty massive foreshadowing. I probably still omitted something because there are really tons of those clues.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the read.

Thanks for the ask :)

[siren1song]

@acanvasofabillionsuns​

Finally Got It

Summary: Remus isn't good with sappy, romantic words but he's gonna do his damnedest to overcome that for Patton.

Warnings: None I’m aware of.

Pairing: Intruality

Word Count: 2,095

General Taglist: @emo-disaster​, @greenninjagal-blog​, @jungle321jungle​, @sleepy-sides​, @gattonero17​, @another-sandersidesblog​, @strawberryjellystuff​, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit​, @gr3ml1n-loser​, @main-chive​, @firey-alex​, @spooky-scary-virgil​, @yalltookmyurlideas​, @sanderssidesweirdo​, @stormypaint​, @just-a-little-bit-gay-oops​, @dying-is-a-hobby​, @the-angry-child​

Intruality Taglist: @jessibbb​

Notes: Really loving these songs + ship requests :D also i am definitely considering this an early birthday present to myself.

Commissions!! | Buy Me a Kofi!! | Join Casper’s Crew!! | Ao3 Link!!

Remus, despite being a writer, wasn’t really the best with his words.

At least, not when it came to romance he wasn’t. Being a horror novelist did nothing in the sappy department and he tended to have more skill in sex than he did in being romantic.

And yet… Patton still loved him. He giggled at his porn jokes and powered through his horror hyperfixation with a smile and a reminder to eat and drink water while he researched. It was honestly amazing how well they could work together.

That isn’t to say they haven’t had their problems of course. When they first met, Patton was so unsettled by Remus that he outright avoided interactions with him.

It had hurt and there was a long trial of them getting closer and Remus would always remember the first time Patton laughed at one of his sexual jokes (it had been a pun, and Remus learned that puns were basically the way to his heart).

God he loved that man so much.

Enough to try and write a stupid sappy love letter  on their third anniversary because Patton was the sappiest romantic Remus had ever met, even worse than his own brother, and he wanted to make him get that bubbly smile he wore when he watched romcoms like they were the best cinematic invention to grace the screen.

Fucking hell, Patton really was too cute to handle sometimes.

But again, Remus was really bad with being romantic in the traditional sense. He didn’t like the smell of roses so he either avoided the flowers or gave Patton dead ones. Then there was the fact he was allergic to chocolate so he couldn’t even consider getting Patton that because then he’d have to go a whole day, possibly longer, without kissing his boyfriend and Remus may be strong but no man who had a similar strength in desire for affection like him could handle that.

Sometimes he just wanted Patton to smother him in kisses and make him break down into wheezy cackling that made his heart overflow with love and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

With a small groan, Remus let his head fall back against the wall, the document on his laptop only having six words on the screen because he just… wasn’t sure how to continue the stupid letter.

“Squid?” Patton called, peering over the counter cutting between the living room and the kitchen, an eyebrow lifted and his smile lopsided in his concern.

“Doing fine, Pat. Just having a hard time thinking.”

“Is this about the thing you asked Roman about the other day?”

Remus cleared his throat a little bit, stubbornly continuing to look at the ceiling so Patton couldn’t see how his face was starting to redden.

“Kinda, yeah,” he answered, tapping his fingers on the corners of his laptop where he wouldn’t risk pressing buttons.

Patton went quiet for a second, and the next thing Remus knew he was thwapped in the temple with a paper ball.

Confusion and amusement distracted Remus from his embarrassment, and he looked at Patton with his own raised eyebrow while he searched for the paper ball with one hand.

When he found it, he brought it to eye level and looked away from his boyfriend to see… a wad of paper terribly decorated like a pokeball.

“What?” he asked his confusion and amusement both increasing as he looked at his now grinning boyfriend.

“Anniversary is coming up. Figured I’d give you your first hint on what I’ll be doing,” was Patton’s answer, which he punctuated with a wink.

Oh God, Remus was so in love with this dork

“With your hint given though, I’m gonna go back to planning my class for the week. Teaching kindergarten is rough work and all that,” Patton joked, blowing a kiss Remus’ way before he hid himself back in his office.

As serious as the word “office” sounded, Patton really had it full of stim toys, children’s toys and bad art and crayons. Said it put him in the environment he needed to get stuff done.

Remus was pretty sure he also just liked playing with the toys, but he couldn’t really fault him for it. Patton was very good at having a childish imagination and Remus loved him for it.

Not the only reason why he loved him, but it was a pretty big one.

If he had to list every reason Remus chose Patton as a lifelong partner, he’d be here… a while.

Chose.

Looking back at the paper pokeball, Remus tilted his head in thought, his brother’s words from the week before coming back to him.

”Look if you want to be sappy just… pick something that reminds you of him and build a metaphor linking it to him and how much you love him. Usually what I do with Janus.”

Hmm… He could work with that.

With a glance back to the doc on his screen, he backed out of four of the six words, set the paper pokeball down on the coffee table where he could look at it between focus bursts of writing and remember just how much he loved his boyfriend, and then got to work.

“Okay Pat the Cat, please tell me you’re not leading me into a cave where I have to outsmart an axe murderer because writing about horror and surviving horror are two different things and dying on our anniversary is not something I want to do.”

Patton giggled, and Remus could tell he was rolling his eyes, even if it was playfully.

“I’m flattered that you think I could get someone to kill for me-”

“You can? I’m right here.”

“Hush you. No, we’re not even in a cave right now? What made you think cave?”

Remus paused, looking in his boyfriend’s general direction, his sight hindered by a blindfold.

“We’re doing a lot of climbing, babe.”

Patton let out an ugly snort, pulling at Remus’ hand to urge him into moving again.

“We’re not going to a cave housing an axe murderer, Remus. Actually, we’re almost there! You’re gonna have to keep close to me though, I don’t want you running into a tree.”

With a fond sigh, Remus let himself be pulled just a little bit closer to Patton and kept himself there without tripping over his boyfriend’s heels.

Not long and Patton gently guided Remus to a stop and pulled him in for a chaste kiss.

He pulled off the blindfold while their lips were locked, and by the time Remus was blinking his eyes open, he felt kind of dumb for only writing Patton a letter because now they were in a clearing big enough to have a picnic blanket on the ground and there were cardboard cutouts of pokemon hanging from the trees.

It was clear Patton put a lot of work into this, and a sappy love letter felt a little inadequate compared to this.

“Do you like it? I remembered you talking about your special interest in the series when you were little and I know sometimes you still like watching the show and you always get the newest games so I just… figured it would be cute to give you something like this after three years of being together.”

Remus didn’t say anything, going up to the Trubbish cutout and lifting it a bit to get a better look.

After a second he looked at another cutout that had a Grimer on it. And another with a Weezing.

“Squid?” Patton asked, a bit of concern in his tone that made Remus turn to face him again.

“Oh honey…” he whispered, coming closer to Remus with his hands outstretched until they were on Remus’ face, thumbs wiping away tears Remus hadn’t even realized he was crying.

With a sniffle and a weak laugh, Remus covered one of Patton’s hands with his own.

“I’m fine. I just… got overwhelmed with how much I love you. You remembered all of my favorite pokemon?”

Patton’s concerned frown turned into an adoring smile.

“Of course! Pokemon is a really easy franchise to get into. There’s so many pokemon with names that are puns! And you get really excited when you talk about it, how could I not remember that?”

Remus kind of wanted to marry this man. Which wasn’t really a thought he had before but it didn’t exactly catch him off guard either.

“All this kinda makes my gift pale in comparison. If we didn’t have a no expensive gifts rule I absolutely would have done better,” he said, thinking to some of the things Patton has gushed over to make teaching his kids so much easier and more fun.

Patton scrunched up his face in distaste, shaking his head.

“Nope! Whatever you did, I’m sure it’s just as good. No self deprecation on our anniversary, mister.”

Snorting, Remus pecked Patton’s nose.

“Alright, alright fine. I’m gonna take a guess though that that picnic basket is full of food and if so I would very much like to eat after giving you your gift.”

“Why yes it is! C’mon, let’s sit down.”

Remus pulled the envelope with his letter out of his back pocket and sat down with his boyfriend, handing it to him before opening the basket so he could ignore his nerves and look at what Patton had prepared for them.

Things were quiet. Not silent, couldn’t be with the sounds of the woods surrounding them and Remus messing with the food containers trying not to watch Patton while he read the letter.

His nerves got worse with each second Patton read and didn’t say anything.

And then finally—

“You wrote this?” Patton whispered, voice hoarse with barely held back tears that Remus could see brimming in his eyes when he looked up.

“Uh… well I mean… I know it’s not the best, pretty sure I couldn’t edit out all of the rambling if I tried, but uh. Yeah, I did.”

Patton looked away from the papers, creased from being in the envelope and fluttering a little in the slight breeze surrounding the two and making the pokemon cutouts dance in the trees.

He was beaming.

“Well, I guess having a lifelong love letter is a good reason as any to give you this,” he said, gently folding the papers and placing them under one of the containers Remus had pulled out before digging into the picnic basket and pulling out a large metal pokeball he hadn’t noticed when he was digging in there.

Remus took it when Patton held it out, giving his boyfriend a questioning look and receiving a “go on” gesture in response.

Guess he was opening it then?

Slowly, he lifted the red top of the pokeball and then nearly dropped it in his shock when he saw a silver band glint in the sunlight peeking through the trees.

“Patton, what is this?” he asked softly, not sure because he could never be sure unless he was told outright what was happening.

“A proposal,” Patton answered, wringing his hands together in a clear display of anxiety, “kind of. I had this whole speech planned but your really sweet letter made me speechless.”

Remus and Patton both snorted a little at the joke.

Taking a deep breath, Remus looked back down at the ring so he could actually gather what it looked like beyond the silver band.

It wasn’t much, the band thick and two tiny gems impressed into the metal surrounded by linked hearts. The gems were blue and green, both Patton’s and Remus’ favorite colors.

He carefully took the ring out of the pokeball, and then slid it on left his ring finger as he felt a grin take over his expression.

Patton then launched himself at Remus, taking him by surprise and making them both fall to the ground.

“Please tell me that’s a yes,” Patton whispered, his arms wrapped around Remus’ waist and his face buried in his neck.

Remus huffed, settling his right hand on the small of Patton’s back, grinning up at the sky broken up by leaves before he brought his left hand in his vision to admire the ring.

“It’s a hell fucking yeah.”

With a squeal, Patton clung tighter to Remus, and he prepared himself to just lay in the grass with his fiance for a while.

Not like he minded though. Not when they were surrounded by his favorite pokemon and able to brush his fingers through Patton’s hair.

Remus finally got one that chose him too.

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 7

So i kind of live, and this continues on. 

first part here   previous part here      ao3 here 

             Stephanie twitched when she finished comparing financial resources needed to handle a covert operation, butterfly garden underground, AND manage to keep it secret from the rest of Paris. Cass checked her numbers and it became very apparent that only—and she stressed the only—someone insanely wealthy and is a recluse could be Hawkmoth. And in Paris, that meant one man—Gabriel Agreste.

             Cass was the one to narrow it down to him, and Steph argued with her about it being impossible as “He’s been akumatized!” Honestly, Cass was acting like the Ladyblogger who published one of her early ‘could be Hawkmoth’ theories with Gabriel Agreste as a option with “probably had Mayura as Hawkmoth in her place” argument. It was retracted, and there was a apology put up for it that included: this list was not intended to be serious guys—I put multiple known akuma victims here and ways they could have been Hawkmoth no matter how public the akumatazation was. Did not expect this one to be taken so seriously, my sincerest apologies to M. Agreste and Mm. Sancoeur.”

             Steph could smell the ‘I was forced to do this’ off the apology, and did her best not to agree with Cass that it was forced as then Cass would argue it was a serious accusation put in mixed with less serious ones to get people thinking. To get Ladyblog followers to take notes and pass it to Ladybug and Chat Noir for further investigation. Which, would be a good way to contact the heroes. Except…

             “She interviews the Miraculous team on a bi-weekly basis Cass, she’d have plenty of opportunities to tell them her theories.”

             Cass crossed her arms. While they might heavily disagree on this aspect of who Hawkmoth and Mayura are, there is another aspect that is held in contention between the two of them…

             “Plus, Hawkmoth and Mayura are totally a couple, and everyone knows Gabriel Agreste is too hung up on his wife’s disappearance to consider moving on, let alone do it.”

             “Professionals.”

             Stephanie rolled her eyes. Cass is good at body language. There is no doubt about her being better than most. However—Hawkmoth is an egomaniac. Egomaniacs don’t give up when their goal is in reach for a henchman getting ill or injured. Not unless said hench is, well, romantically involved with them. She knew from watching Gotham’s underbelly for years—their romantic relationship had to be rock solid for it to even be considered. Married or may-as-well-be.

             “He’s ended how many battles early for her? Totally bordering on, if not actually, married.”

             Stephanie paused when two girls joined them, the ladyblogger herself with a too big grin, and soup girl if Cass wasn’t mistaken.

             “Hawkmoth and Mayura relationship debate?” The blogger grinned.

             Stephanie nodded, as yes, and this is serious. “Cass is convinced they’re just professionals with standards.”

             Soup girl groaned. “Not this again!”

             “Girl, I told you, I’m not the only one who thinks they’re a couple, and serious.”

             Stephanie grinned as Cass huffed. A vote for Team Hawkyura!

             “I told you, Hawkmoth is too obsessed with the miraculous to be capable of human emotions, and Mayura is too smart to fall for him. He’s probably paying her a lot or cancelling out a debt for her to work for him how she is,” Soup girl reasoned.

             Stephanie shook her head while Cass rose victoriously, scooting a bit closer to her fellow ‘stop shipping the villains’ teammate. Which is ridiculous—it isn’t shipping if it isn’t even subtext at this point.

             “No, no,” the blogger leaned forward, settled into their table on Stephanie’s side. “That means the relationship would have to be healthy, and its perfect possible for it to extremely unhealthy and for Mayura to be in a bad relationship with someone who isn’t wroth her time. Why else would she keep using a broken miraculous that’s making her sick?”

             Stephanie nodded at the blogger’s side. “And abusive relationships can happen to anyone. Back in our home city,” Steph gestured between herself and Cass. “A top psychologist went villain because she was manipulated into thinking the guy just needed her love to fix him and fell into a life of crime and wanted to stay by the guy’s side regardless of how many times he hurt her.”

             Cass nodded at that, frowning at that. She wasn’t there for Harley Quinn, henchman of Joker. Stephanie was. She did see the aftermath and bits of Harley’s (ongoing) recovery.

             Soup girl shook her head. “Its not that, everyone knows the Peacock is emotions so she would know he’s toying with her. She would know she deserves better. She’s staying because of finances or blackmail or maybe even being able to fix something that’s unfixable.”

             Cass hummed in agreement. “Needs to survive.”

             Soup girl nodded. “There’s no motivator more powerful than that.”

             “Um, love,” Stephanie supplied. She may not be the best at all its forms, but loving gotham’s citizens enough to want to save them was part of what drove her to become Spoiler in the first place. Spite too, but that didn’t seem like the best thing to mention at the time.

             “Exactly,” the blogger passed Stephanie one of her cookies. “Love makes people do crazy things, or did you forget Hercules.”

             Soup girl looked exhausted at that, pinching her brow. “We agreed never to bring Disney logic into these arguments.”          

             “The quote is true—People do crazy things when they’re in love. And Mayura is in love with Hawkmoth, and he’s in love with her.”

             Soup girl rolled her eyes. “Then you’d have to give up the Gabriel and Natalie theory for good. He’s still in love with his wife, and he treats Natalie more like a tablet than a person. No way that’s how he’d treat someone he’s in love with.”

             “Are we forgetting how he treats you and Adrien?”

             Stephanie and Cass exchanged a look. Stephanie focused on soup girl then. Really looked at her. Tired, twitchy, all signs of needing and not getting a good night’s rest.

             “Okay, he goes way overboard with supervising and has control issues, I’m not saying he doesn’t, ever. But he doesn’t let me take commissions unless my grades are up there, hires tutors for me and Adrien regularly, and he’s let up on controlling who Adrien can be safely friendly with to avoid crazy fans ever since I joined.”

             “You joined, therefore are something he can control, and are therefore not going to endanger Adrien or Gabriel since it would hurt your career,” the blogger explained.

             “Sounds like Hawkmoth,” Stephanie added absently, then froze as Cass grinned at her. back track time, ASAP. “But it can’t be since the guy was akumatized.”

             Soup girl looked relieved at what Stephanie said. Though, thinks weren’t looking up much on that front. She might have Batgirl pay the man a visit… after hacking the girl’s schedule and Adrien’s and seeing how much this man really was trying to control them both.

             Cass raised an eyebrow at her.

             “Thank you—can you get Alya off that train too?”

             The blogger leveled Stephanie a look that reminded her too much of Lois Lane that time she tried to interview the Batfam on Gotham crime rates and the effectiveness of vigilantes in a city that was entrenched in corruption and if it was better to just gut the Gotham justice system and start anew with different training and such, to prevent villain strength and intensity escalation. In short—she scared Stephanie. Just a little.

             “I think maybe Lois Lane could, but I doubt it.”

             “Lois Lane is the hero the world is not good enough for and her word is worth more than all of Metropolis.”

             “Not that hard to achieve,” Stephanie said without thinking. There is a lot of property damage there after all, they just have a more white collar-exclusive criminal element. Plus, Lex keeps his bigger projects in other places that are harder for Superman to find.

             Soup girl snorted at that.

             The blogger took offense.

             Stephanie would say all-in-all, not her worst time out on a mission doing detective work in broad daylight.

--

             Marinette was quick to transform into Multimouse and meet up with Rena in the Lourve. It wasn’t the first time either—Alix’s dad took to helping her translate Gaurdian since she hadn’t learned it all before Fu died. Besides her, he was the only one who could read the spell book… though that reduced the miraculous grimoire to nothing but the potions. It held the history of the kwami, how to summon and bind them, and even how to craft weapons for them. It included instructions on how to become a Guardian and what was required of her the sole guardian, and how the Order operated with mentions of ways it could be reformed should it ever vanish.

             It was the closest thing Marinette had to a mentor on how to re-build the Order and choose members, and how to make the best choices as Guardian. It even listed allied organizations and how much stock should be put into trusting them.

             But right now, she wasn’t there as Ladybug to go over another passage or talk about possible meaning and philosophies (did they really mean her job is to kill to protect the miraculous, or like, be that ready to ensure they remained safe?) or the whole “is the soul splitting a metaphor or actual magic” (magic). No, she was there as Multimouse, with Rena Rouge, as representatives of the Miraculous Team to meet up with the Amazonian Historian sent by The Former Ladybug, Hippolyta.

             “Greetings Alwphekion,” the woman nodded at Rena. “Muidion,” she acknowledged Multimouse. “I am Vupyte of Themyscira, and our leading historian on the miraculous. How may I be of assistance, young Champions?”

             Multimouse stepped forward, forgetting she wasn’t Ladybug at the moment. This question had been burning in her mind since she was told of the missing pair. “Could you tell us how the ladybug and black cat miraculous would interact with the main five if it wasn’t for Hawkmoth?”

             Rena glanced at Multimouse, knowing that something was off. It was possible Marinette may be more involved intellectually than she’d been letting on… though given her unofficial spy-work, it was possible that Marinette was Ladybug’s first choice in help… which lead to questions Rena had to keep silent… until Hawkmoth was defeated.

             “Ah, that is both simple and complex. If you wouldn’t mind,” Vupyte gestured for the pair to sit with her. “I was expecting something like that to come from Alwphekion, not you Muidion.”

             Multimouse would have been flustered a few years ago. Hell, even a few month ago, before Fu was compromised, she would have panicked a bit. But right now?

             “Ladybug tasked me to get any information to help her rebuild the Order. I won’t fail her.” She couldn’t fail the kwami. Especially Tikki who never gave up on her, even when Marinette was ready to throw in the towel a hundred times over and give her miraculous to Alya—the brave one she once had to mimic to handle being Ladybug.

             “Ah.” Vupyte leaned back. “No wonder there’s such a storm in your eyes.”

             Multimouse didn’t know how to handle that, so she brushed it aside.

             Rena put a hand on her knee and squeezed.

             Multimouse was glad she wasn’t alone in this.

             “That story goes back far beyond when my people interacted with the miraculous. Perhaps I could have a figure you trust help me digitize my research on the history in full for your Ladybug?”

             Multimouse nodded. That… “Director Kubdel was vetted by Ladybug previously for his discretion and understanding of how sensitive the miraculous and miraculous matters are.”

             Vupyte agreed to use the man at a later date. “For now, I can give you an overview of how the work together.”

             “That would be sufficient.” Multimouse did her best to copy M. Agreste’s professional affect. To hide how out of her depths she was at the moment.

             Vupyte grinned. “First off, The Savior, your Ladybug, has the role of creation. Her role in the group is to guide them to growth, to safety. She is your strategist in battle and the team’s healer. You know this already. She is the only one able to undo the Destroyer—your Chat Noir’s—abilities. However, she can only undo his damage so long as she believes it needs her intervention. Should she find his judgement—and his punishments for those violating the contract between those under the Miraculous’ protection, the Order, Champion and Kwami—be just, she cannot undo what he did.”

             Multimouse felt her heart seize. Plagg mentioned the Atlantians tried to convince a Fox into destroying a rival kingdom, a kingdom that was not doing as the Atlantians’ claimed. When the Fox refused… Plagg never said what happened after that.

             She knew only a third of the Atlantian’s survived the sinking from what they’d released to the public about their history.

             “A ladybug is given all the creative force that exists between her and her black cat, while the cat is given all the ability to detect danger. Half of each of their souls are swapped to ensure this ability switch remains, and that their bond is unbreakable so long as they are called on as Champions. The cat protects her from harm, and she supplies him with what is needed. They are only ever called on in times of absolute crisis—when the Contract is violated, or when the world’s balance is nearing a breaking point.”

             Rena was too still by Multimouse, piecing things together. Multimouse hoped she didn’t pass this on to the others… not until Marinette was certain they were safe to remain in the Order and that they want to be in it—that they don’t feel obligated to out of duty but truly want to protect the kwami. Even if it means never being a hero again.

             “The turtle shields them both—the Cat in battle and the ladybug when healing. They can even bring forth another weapon, though what it is, there is no record that we have found reliable.”

             Multimouse raised an eyebrow.

             “Shelter?”

             The Amazonian shook her head. “No Muidion, something else entirely… the incomplete records I found mentioned people being pulled to the turtle, feeling absolute safety and complete trust in them no matter what happened around them. What causes this, is unknown.”

             Multimouse felt the need to roll her eyes. she was fairly certain it was a cross between ‘must parent them all’ and the turtle’s capacity to ensure nothing broke Shelter. Possibly making it opaque, or something else. She’d ask Wayzz when Nino was asleep.

“Often the turtle focuses on getting civilians out of the area to safety. They are often aided by the Peacock, who creates a creature from a single emotion and ties it to an object, to direct its actions. The turtle protects those in danger with their shelter while the peacock’s creation and the peacock keep enemy combatants busy.

             “The butterfly may check for spies among their ranks, potential traitors too by their emotions but that is often another’s role. They often connect members across distances with those outside of their ranks, acting as a diplomat and choosing new members. At times, they might even make use of their full ability and create a champion of their own, granting them the power to make an army to help the cat while following the ladybug’s plan, or to test a possible candidate’s worth by seeing what they do when given power, and how it is used while having the failsafe of taking it away again.

             “The bee tends to fight beside the Cat, at times ordering the butterfly’s champion should their connection fail, and is ready to take down said champion should they betray the group with a single sting. The bee answers to the ladybug and cat alone—following the pair’s vision and ensuring it is executed whenever one or both of the pair is absent.

             “Then there is the fox, like you Alwphekion. I assume you have grown fond of your ally,” Vupyte gestured to Rena’s flute. “They let you craft any illusion you want. But I doubt you were told of the true power of the fox.”

             Multimouse shifted at that. “The Gaurdian was young when their temple was destroyed. I doubt they hid it intentionally.”

             Vupyte paused at that. “I did not mean it like that Muidion, simply that the Fox is given little emphansis by the Order to the point it was given a dishonorable title for their champions to inherit, the Deceiver,” Vupyte spat the title like sour milk. “Alwphekion is the one who sees all in their truth, through every lie one has spoken or believed. A fox is not a crafter of fallacy, merely presenting what one feels or desires. Their greatest gift is in their true voice, the one that none can lie or withhold information upon being addressed by it.”

             Rena leaned forward, focusing on Vupyte. “How?”

             Vupyte sighed. “The records of that were destroyed in Alexandria’s flames. It is a power a fox can only use with great conviction and motivation. Until then, they can only sense deceptions in shades while the truth rings of their own melody according to legend.”

             Rena stared at her lap.

             Multimouse put a hand on her arm. “We’ll figure it out.”

             Rena leaned into the touch then, sighing. “I have a question of my own, if you don’t mind.”

             “Certainly I do not,” Vupyte assured. “I am here to help the Miraculous Champions however I am allowed by you. I owe your predecessors more than I could ever repay.”

             Rena nodded at that. “What are the chances a butterfly user could make themself a champion?”

             Vupyte opened and closed her mouth, lips pressing and pursing until she found words to her liking. “It is not impossible for them to do so. They would have to drop their transformation to do so, which would prevent proper guidance, and would need to give themself a very limited power.”

             Rena took a deep breath.

             Multimouse took a sharp intake. That changed the rules. A lot.

             “So, hypotethetically, if one’s power could only affect a specified amount of things at a time, say, put into a given space and then whatever new thing was put in was then ejected from said space,” Rena continued, “would that be a feasible power for a butterfly’s champion to use without a butterfly guiding them?”

             Multimouse felt her stomach drop at Vupyte’s hesitance.

             “That is… rather specific.” Vupyte pondered it for a moment more. “While I can’t be certain of the logisitics, it is one of the safest abilities to give in those circumstances. Tight limitations, a weak ability that lacks army-growing capacity, so no need to use the butterfly champion to connect their chosen champion to their subjects, and it is straight forward so no need for an explanation, or perhaps the lack of one would make their reaction to discovering this limit more genuine.”

             Multimouse felt sick.

             Things aligned quickly in her head. Finances. Schedules. Timing. Targets of preference—teens at Dupont where Adrien goes and is able to talk about his day to either Natalie or Gorilla, who would report it back to him. Even Adrien’s concerns for them—weaknesses, insecurities, fears…

             It made too much sense.

             Multimouse stood up. “I have to go, excuse me.”

             Rena gawked at her. “Wait, Mul—”

             Multimouse ran out quickly, running to an alley to detransform and get Tikki to get her head on straight as Marinette spiraled.

             Gabriel Agreste couldn’t be Hawkmoth.

             He couldn’t be.

--

             Outside the alley, Tim, Cass and Stephanie froze as the girl Tim was convinced was Ladybug appeared. She was in a grey suit before.

--

             Rena looked back at Vupyte, hoping her girl got the air she needed. She knew Marinette would come around eventually, but for now…

             “One moment.”

             Alya sent off a quick text to Aurore. The girl was good at keeping Marinette distracted, out of a spiral, and helping her process.

             Aurore confirmed she found Marinette in an alley bordering on a panic attack and was taking her home.

             Rena sighed in relief.

             “Okay, now that that’s settled, there’s something you didn’t spill.”

             Vupyte smiled at Rena. “You are a clever Alwphekion.”

             Rena raised an eyebrow.

             Vupyte sighed. “A ladybug and black cat take the longest to mature in their team. It is no fault of their own; a side effect of half of their being being doubled and the other being taken. Of the two, Ladybug requires the longest time to come into her own as a strategist and healer.”

             Rena snorted at that. “Have you seen Ladybug?”

             Vupyte sucked in her breath through her teeth. “I have.”

             Rena watched her more intensely then.

             “She is not even out of her training suit, while the rest of yours have become personalized, implying that you are not being overtaken by your role. That you have blended with your kwami and role, rather than be consumed by it.”

             Rena froze at that.

             “What do you mean be consumed by it.” it didn’t come out like a question, it fell out like doubt defending fear.

             “Ladybugs fill in any holes in their group. Right now you are missing two, and one is injured,” Vupyte noted.

             Rena filled in the blanks. “Until we get a Butterfly and fix the Peacock, Ladybug isn’t really Ladybug, is she?”

             Vupyte sighed. “She is a child trying to run a home alone until they are both present as allies.”

             Rena frowned at that. “Then why isn’t Chat affected?”

             Vupyte looked far older then. “Have you not noticed that he can only extend and shorten his staff?”

             Rena opened her mouth, only for no words to come out.

             “He should be able to turn his weapon into whatever hand-held weapon he desires at that moment to protect your team. He cannot fulfill his role as Judge and Protector proper. He may be his own person within his transformation and within the team, but he lack his full range. Ladybug has her full range of abilities, but lacks her individuality as a Ladybug proper. Her team is incomplete, so she must continue to cover and cover and cover until it is complete with all five of her strongest allies at her side. Until then, whoever is under the mask will give and give and give until there is nothing left.”

             Rena swallowed thickly. “How do I stop that?”

             Vupyte leveled Rena with a few words. “Find Hawkmoth and Mayura, take their miraculous, and once the miraculous is fixed, hand them to worthy champions—ones who are strong judges of others for the butterfly, and of who is in need for the peacock.”

             Rena felt her mind waver to Rose for the peacock—the girl who fought for everyone. She was blanking on a butterfly though—a strong judge of character was hard to think of as a core characteristic of someone she knew she could trust.

             “You have one in mind,” Vupyte said quietly. “Good. You will have to find another for the other, or an ally of yours must find candidates. The sooner this is determined, the sooner your Ladybug will come into her own. The only other way… would be dangerous.”

             Rena nodded. She texted Chat and Carapace to meet her to talk about what she learned. They’d protect Ladybug. Their Leader. Paris’ Savior. And their friend.

--

             Aurore is many things. Miss Sting is a necessity to keep Paris safe. Aurore of the weather girl duo on KIDZ+. Miss Mandeliev’s favorite to call on for environmental studies and among Bustier’s favorite to read a well researched report. She is also one of poor Marinette’s longest standing friends, and one of the only people who can catch her mid attack and get her to pull out of and process her spiral without setting off a different bout of anxiety.

              Which is why she captured the akuma in a jar, hid it in her backpack until Chat or LAdybug could handle it, and nabbed her friend in the first place when Alya messaged her. She is not on the best of terms with the reporter (she might be holding a grudge over Lady Wifi calling her a hack and may have gone on a spree fact checking the Ladyblog in the early days and found holes on a Certain Person who has been since excommunicated by the students of Dupont and left the school in disgrace within a less than a week of attending). Especially since she insisted on being Mairnette’s best friend when Marinette has her already. honestly, the other never has been the best at seeing the obvious…

             Like the fact that Marinette’s anxiety up ticked with Ladybug’s issues. Or that around the time Chat Noir took on being Mr. Bug, Marinette was injured. OR that Chat hangs around Marinette a lot when Marinette is around an attack, even covering for her.

             Aurore dealth in meteorology and environmental sciences. She dealth with public appearances, PR, and being a child star. It is not her place to point out that Marinette is clearly (a) Chat and Ladybug’s confidant somehow, (b) a member of the team (c) Ladybug or some combination thereof. She didn’t want to make a call, she didn’t have evidence to back it up, and she didn’t run on intuition like Alya.

             Aurore is a Bee, and they operate best within rules.

             Ladybug made not looking into identities a rule. One she’s certain Rena has been ignoring… but Miss Sting follows Ladybug’s word to the letter. She has not looked into anyone’s identity and actively ignored any possible relveations in favor of working on her civilian life and focusing on capturing akuma before someone becomes akumatized, and bringing her catches to Ladybug or Chat for purification or destruction respectfully. Depending on how schedules lined up for patrols.

             Now, Aurore is content listening to Marinette ramble about baking soda and baking powder with buttermilk on her latest recipe and how that connects to their chemistry homework (as they were both smart enough to dodge the math that goes into physics, unlike Adrien or Nino and Rose who were naïve enough to take music theory).

             That doesn’t stop her from seeing faint movement on their school roof in reflections.

             Ladybug may not have made it a rule to protect Marinette. Chat may not have stated such either, but his actions told her it was a priority. And her duties as Marinette’s longest unstrained friendship demanded she monitor the situation.

             Once Marinette went down for snacks, aurore snuck into her friend’s bathroom and transformed to send a single message” I think Chat’s princess has a stalker now. Keep an eye on repeats in her environment.”

--

             Pegasus was furious when he saw the message. Cowboy was hacking camera in the area as they spoke with the other members of the team.

             Rena paled and Carapace looked oddly dangerous in that moment.

             Chat Noir and Ryuuko were the most deadly of the group… Chat’s suit almost… moving, but it had to be a trick of the light. Ryuuko had the same look Rena did when Carapace did something particularly dangerous—like refuse to flee before his time ran out and somehow stayed transformed beyond the standard five minutes after using shelter through sheer force of will alone.

             Ryuuko turned to Chat with a most Peculiar shade of anger. “I will be shadowing her.”

             It was not a question, but a demand.

             “Shouldn’t we check with Ladybug?” Pegasus asked while continuing to check camera. Nothing. Nothing at all.

             This must have been what was setting his friend on edge these last few days. Someone stalking her, but just out of a camera’s reach. Professional…

             Pegasus desperately hoped it was some paparazzi after Marinette the Designer’s secret identity, or even MDC. Anything but someone going after her for something… something he wouldn’t let cross his mind.

             Chat shot him one look that obliterated the option entirely. Pegasus may not know who his comrades are outside of the mask, but he’d be a fool not to remember that Marinette was a spy on Gabriel Agreste. That she was in constant danger as a civilian.

             Was it Hawkmoth?

             Mayura?

             Someone they hired?

             He didn’t know, and he needed to. Needed to protect his friend.

             She believed in him when he wasn’t sure of himself. She argued against his worst insecurities (nuisance, annoyance, best left forgotten) and proved she likes Max for Max. For his rambles, for his excitement and passion and his own brand of sass to their friends.

             King Monkey appeared with a rare serious expression. He didn’t know of Marinette’s involvement at all—only Chat, Ladybug, Alya and himself did—but King must know Marinette. Because that look on his face reminded Max of a friend he’d seen punch someone a little too hard for their hand to keep Max safe from a pair ready to hurt him for his mumbling as a child.

             “Whoever is doing this,” King Monkey stated with an eerily calm. “I’m calling the right to make their life a bit too chaotic.”

             “Get in line,” Rena growled, her flute ready at a moment’s notice.

--

             Elsewhere three gothamites were passed out in the same room. They decided to take a break and watch a movie together.

             They had no idea the Very Displeased eldest of the batchildren had entered the room and forced them each in a separate bed, or that he allowed a certain “demon spawn” to add a variety of traps that, while they all knew how to escape at this point, were still ass to get out of and made it clear they were in hot water.

--

             Jason hoped things worked out for the best… after his screw up, he figured Dickie and Demon Spawn should at least have a fighting chance. Or at least Nightwing would have a better chance at convincing the Justice League and the Miraculous Team they meant no harm.

             He hopes.

--- 

hope you enjoyed!

BTW we have fanart by @thegreysman!!! here which tumblr is rudely not letting me show off. 

@heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace@jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang

[gay-cartoon-stan]

Why the “Corrupted Steven Theory” is more likely than it seems at first

Okay, you probably think that this theory is very unlikely, and it won’t happen in Steven Universe Future. But hear me out, I thought so at first as well, just like I thought the “Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond”-Theory was a stretch. But guess what? It turned out to be true, so I gave this theory the benefit of doubt and now I’m convinced that it could become canon as well!

In the beginning, I was unsure but intrigued by this theory and read some posts. Steven Universe Future means a lot to me, I related to Steven Universe a lot already and kind of grew up with it in the past few years. Now, seeing how Steven deals with deeply rooted problems and his mental health issues hit close to home for me. So, obviously, I searched through the tags very much.

Unfortunately, the actual theories with proof are scattered all around Tumblr with almost no coordination, even within “#corrupted Steven theory” that is full of fan art (which I enjoy a lot btw!!). And I had to search through a lot of posts to see the full picture of possibilities this theory has, so I decided to make a master post for you guys. It’s not that much of a stretch when you put all of it in one big master-post, for those who don’t want to search for as long as I did.

WARNING: This will be a very long post!

Now first off, I heard many people say that this would be too dark for the show. And while this is a children’s show, Steven Universe already had way darker episodes. Here are some examples:

Previous Theories in Steven Universe

I searched for some previous theories for the original Steven Universe cartoon and pulled up a few popular theories from the Cartoon Network YouTube videos. Let’s start off with some of them that were proven wrong later on in the series.

3 Theories that were more based on feeling right than proof and turned out to be wrong

-         Gems start out as babies

-         Sardonyx’s identity

-         Ruby is blind

First off, everyone assumed that Gems are quite similar to humans. Now, these theories were created in the first season of Steven Universe, when we didn’t know a whole lot about Gems, yet. Rebecca Sugar started the show by telling us to “expect the unexpected” like expecting to have Gems be quite similar to humans.

When we heard of a new voice actor, most immediately assumed it to be a new gem or a fusion of new gems. But instead, it was Sardonyx, a fusion between garnet and Pearl. Rebecca likes to explore new possibilities by combining already established things: Like making a completely new character out of two well-known gems.

I think that’s exactly what’s going to happen in Steven Universe Future, this epilogue will deal with big concepts that we already know. It would make no sense to have something entirely new in the epilogue, when we already have some unanswered questions left, like the true nature of corruption.

5 Theories that were based proof rather than “feeling canon” and turned out true (even though they seemed like a stretch)

-         Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond

-         There are multiples of every gem

-         All monsters were once gems

-         Ronaldo’s theories are right

-         Garnet is a fusion

Theories like the one of Pink Diamond were very unpopular and I’m sure almost no one believed Ronaldo in the beginning: they were unpopular or controversial at the time. But all of these theories turned out true, so don’t just shoot down a theory because it seems unlikely at first. On further examination, theories that seem like a stretch at first, actually, make a lot of sense.

Foreshadowing and symbolism about Rose Quartz actually being Pink Diamond were already planted in the beginning, look at the first song about Cookie Cat by Steven in the very first episode for example.

So, even if it seems unlikely that Steven will become corrupted in Steven Universe Future, that won’t stop Rebecca from making it canon. But if she planned it, there had to be a lot of proof for that, too. And there is a lot that could be interpreted as a connection between Stevens, his mental health and corruption!

That brings us to my next point:

 Steven’s Mental health

In the limited series, Steven is shown to bottle up his feelings a lot and has developed some harmful coping habits, as shown in Episode 10: “Prickly Pair”.

Steven is already known for not dealing with his own problems, trying not to think about them instead of being honest about how bad it feels so he can move on, as shown in “Mindful Education”, which was the fourth episode of Season 4, so even before the “Wanted” and “Diamond Days” arcs.

There even is a whole episode revolving around Amethyst trying to help Steven with his feeling about his mother after it’s revealed that she actually is Pink Diamond, but he just keeps reflecting and wants to help her instead.

Now, the synopsis tells us that “as he runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own” which confirms again that he didn’t deal with his own emotions, yet. So, now he feels lost because he feels useless now in addition to years of undealt trauma. Just look at his monologue in the last episode!

But why didn’t he deal with his own mental well-being yet? Because he’s scared because all of his experience in the last years were very traumatic for a teenager? Not to mention that he wasn’t even 14 when the series started off. Even the Crystal Gems, who are supposed to be way more mature than him, struggled multiple times within the series. Garnet even split up two times.

He’s scared because he doesn’t know what to do now that he can’t help the people around him anymore, everyone around him changes for the better and knows how to help themselves and what they want to do in the future. Everyone except Steven.

 Steven vs Steven

All of his human friends change way faster than he can deal with, so one would think that he could at least relate to the Gems with the struggle of accepting change, right? NO! He’s growing up, he changed in the last couple of years. And while it’s too slow for the humans around him, it’s too fast for the Crystal Gems since they’ve been around for thousands of years.

Even though the whole universe is changing, he still has problems as a hybrid between gems and humans. He struggled for years to fit in with the Gems, while he was always too much “Gem” to be understood by fully humans. For example, even his best friend and his dad don’t include him as a “human being” in Season 2, where he was just starting to be respected by the Gems as a part of the Crystal Gems. So, he didn’t really fit in with either species even back then. Out of stress, it caused him to clutch his gem, also because it is the thing that will always set him apart from other humans.

For years, he could at least relate to Amethyst. They shared a kindred spirit as fellow "worst Gems" who, in Steven's words are "not like anybody". Now even she found her own personal purpose while he is as confused as ever.

 Becoming like someone “bad”

Not only that, in his attempt to be nothing like his mother, since he still has a complicated relationship with her (see: the whole Episode “Rose Buds”), he slowly becomes more and more the person she used to be. He doesn’t want to confront that, but he’s still scared of his new powers that remind Volleyball of Pink Diamond.

But it’s not only her, but Steven also begins to act like the diamonds in general: He ordered people (like Amethyst and Jasper) around.

Just like the punishment by Blue Diamond for Pink, Steven imprisoned Cactus Steven (a metaphor for himself, his mental health, and his problems) with barely enough light to survive. Both Pink Diamond and Cactus Steven didn’t know how to act any better. Cactus Steven was just learning from the only role model he got, but Steven was too angry to try to understand. In Steven Universe, he even tried to understand a literal monster and befriended Centipeetle aka corrupted Nephrite, but now he can’t even communicate with his own creation, sentient humanoid cactus.

He spent years trying to fight the ways the Great Diamond Authority worked, but now he takes after them. And whether he is ready to confront this or not, he can’t help but see how he changes to a person he never wanted to be.

 No Control

He just got new powers that seemingly only Pink Steven really had control over and struggles even more than before. Steven could do a similar bubble, but never actually did it in a symmetrical way or in the shape of a dome, like his gem half could do seemingly with ease.

But since his powers are connected to his emotion (which react to his new and old problems) it’s no wonder that he’s getting out of control. This new pink side of him is linked to extreme stress (or anger) and using powers only his fully-gem half could do before.

We already saw him losing full control over his bubble (trapping someone) and shapeshifting/ageing, where he almost died.

In the first season, he trapped Connie in his protective bubble, which only dissolved after he talked with her. He subconsciously trapped her in there because he didn’t want her to leave again before he got the chance to give the bracelet back.

He lost control over his body a few times, for example, a few episodes after Bubble Buddies when his age-shifting powers get introduced. In a similar matter as before, his gem reacts to his feelings (here: his mental age) and acts accordingly. He almost dies in So Many Birthdays and Cat Fingers because of it.

He already ended up trapping his friends in Episode 9 because of his new powers in connection to emotions. In Season One, he trapped Connie in his bubble in a similar matter.

Next, he could be transforming his problems in himself externally again. We already saw that trauma inside of a gem can manifest in Volleyball as it was explained by the cracked eye.

The creature could be an apparition, something Steven sees in dreams or hallucinations, rather than a physical manifestation at first, but most of the issues in Steven Universe, even if they’re just emotionally, evolved to become something physical. But even though this can be done in a couple of ways, corruption would make sense in Steven’s case.

 Corruption

Extreme emotional distress is linked to corruption as it seems to speed up corruption’s effects. Both Jasper’s and Centipeetle’s mental state affected the corruption process. As the bodies of Gems are mental projections, the bodies of corrupted Gems are a reflection of how damaged their minds are. Corruption’s damage is mental rather than physical, at least at its core.

Just like their emotions affected their body, Steven’s powers got worse under stress. In Steven Universe Future, his mental health is worse than ever, so if he ever got corrupted, it would be in this epilogue series. He’s getting out of control form when he’s distressed or under extreme stress more than ever.

There are no gems corrupted on Homeworld due to the lack of a Diamond blast. But even the other diamonds don’t understand the true nature of corruption completely, they didn’t even know that they corrupted these gems.

But we, the audience, already know a couple things: Second-hand corruption can occur to a non-corrupted Gem through fusion with a corrupted one, while Nephrite described it as a "song" and remembering this seemed to be what triggered her to revert into her corrupted form.

Corruption is linked to the mind of the gem and needs at least one diamond. Steven, who is a diamond, can probably corrupt other gems or himself without meaning to do so. If he loses control of the corruption-powers as well, it could very well be that he ends up accidentally corrupting himself.

But without addressing his issues, he won’t be able to reverse the effects of his subconsciously used gem powers. Pink Steven always worked this way in the past. His gem half reacts to the wishes from Steven’s human half very directly, like trapping all of his friends. And he treated his cactus-self badly, so also harming himself isn’t that far off. He already fought himself quite violently in Steven and the Stevens (which was Season One), but now he got even more problems with himself directly. What if his gem half reacts on that?

 Corruption forms

While Steven’s trauma could manifest in a couple of ways, there are some similarities between the worm-like creature from the intro and Steven.

Of course, it doesn’t completely look like Steven, but consider how humanoid this creature’s face is in comparison to other corruptions in Steven Universe. Let’s take a look at the heads from the others in the corrupted and uncorrupted form.

Nephrite’s corrupted head has a flowing, light-cream coloured mane immediately behind her head that looks like her previous hairstyle. Aside from that and her colour scheme, her body completely changes because of corruption.

Because of the corruption Jasper got spikes from multiple areas of her body now, but her hairstyle only changed to a mane around her neck and she kept the same skin tones.

Ocean Jasper, similar to all Jaspers, kept her colour scheme (aside from corruption marks) and hairstyle/colour even while corrupted.

Larimar’s head always had spikes on top, even though they became more. She still has her blue tones, even though it got a bit darker. Her body changed quite a bit and she got a lot bigger.

So all in all we can say that a gem becomes bulkier and bigger while growing spikes. The placement of the gem barely changes at all. The colour scheme doesn’t really change, but the gem can have corruption marks.

I strongly believe that this thing a corrupted gem, since a completely alien species in the last act of the show makes no sense. Especially with the premise that this epilogue would focus on loose ends and Steven himself.

 Similarities between the Creature and Steven

Only this corruption has a human-like face shape and nose. But humans can’t corrupt, except for Steven. He has the same nose, a softer version of the face shape and is always drawn with 5 hair curves. Instead of that, this creature has 5 horns instead of Steven’s usual curls.

Another dominant feature of this creature is the mouth shape. It’s a sharper version of a squiggly mouth that’s usually drawn when the character is stressed/worried. In the original series many characters were drawn with a mouth like that, but the only character who is frequently seen using a mouth like that in Steven Universe Future is Steven himself. Also, it is drawn quite sharp.

Besides, both Cactus Steven and the Watermelon Stevens are known for a squiggly mouth form like that.

The Watermelon Stevens needed time to even become alive, and even more time until they got a mouth. After Steven send them away and they had to build their own community, they were drawn with a sharp mouth.

Cactus Steven had a mouth, to begin with, it was very curvy drawn. But as the episode went on and Steven got more aggressive with him, it got sharper.

Let’s move onto the body from the creature. It is massive, even bigger than White Diamond, and has spikes leading down his back. A gem would have to be very powerful, to begin with, to be able to become this big and spiky. Our Jasper, for example, was way bigger and har way more spikes than the average Jasper soldier.

Based on the size, I thought about a corrupted White Diamond at first, especially with her pink hue at the end of Change Your Mind. But she’s already on the intro screen, also pink, and she has her gem glowing on her forehead while the creature doesn’t have a visible one. That makes it seem more mysterious like something is surprising to discover here.

Every gem except a diamond had the chance to be corrupted in the original blast. Steven’s gem placement would make sense, too, since you can’t see the stomach of the monster.

Not just the shapes, the colours are similar as well. When Steven reacts to stress, he gets angry and has a new, pink colour scheme. Even outside of turning pink, there are a lot of pink hues used in the scenes that include him.

If he corrupts, it could get a bit darker similar to Larimar’s/Nephrite’s corruption form. And the colour scheme of the creature is a dark pink instead of purple without the blue, dark tint of the intro scene. We can see that if we look at Jaspers original colours and her skin tone in the intro.

 Possible Foreshadowing / Symbolism

The body of the monster is full of spikes that resemble rose thorns. Roses were symbolism of Rose Quartz in Steven Universe. Now it could represent Steven’s internal insecurities about his mom since those are a big part of Steven Universe Future.

Like roses, horns and spiked were used throughout the original series. I’ve seen a lot of people point out Steven’s caterpillar sleeping bag, especially since the creature seems to have a caterpillar-like form. Also, honourable mentions are the horns in An Indirect Kiss and Steven’s design in Future Boy Zoltron looks very similar to the corruption in the intro.

As I already mentioned, Steven lost control at the beginning of the original series since his powers were new to him. His shapeshifting powers got dangerous and he ended up trapping his friend Connie. In Steven Universe Future he got new powers again and loses control again, but just ended up trapping his friends and lost control over his dome-thingy.

If it will be like the original series, he will lose control over his body, too. Next, he would be transforming his problems in himself externally again, just like Cactus Steven ended up as a “monstrous version” of himself.

Steven ended the Great Diamond Authority but can’t seem to defeat a cactus. That’s because Cactus Steven is a living metaphor for Steven himself, his mental health, and his problems. He can’t deal with his own feelings reflected back at him and gets hit in the face by it. Literally.

Another metaphor for Steven is the plushie by Onion in A Very Special Episode, that resembles cookie cat mixed with Steven in a creepy way. Cookie cat was a very early symbol for the backstory of Rose / Pink Diamond and two halves of Steven. It could even move without being moved by Rainbow’s umbrella. A plushie was already an allegory for corruption and it’s most likely is a reference to Garnet’s explanation of corruption: “It’s sort of like if MC Bear-Bear didn’t tear the fabric of his arm, but the fabric of his mind.”

The biggest plot twists in Steven Universe was predicted by Ronaldo early on, all of his big theories except People (Snake People) turned out true. He was convinced by the Great Diamond Authority theory after he saw the diamond on the USA dollar bill. Before that, he believed in Sneople. Snakes are on the other side of the bill. I think that Sneople are supposed to be corrupted gems.

A few episodes in, Aquamarine and Eyeball-Ruby demanded that Steven should destroy his home, bubble his friends, and burn Little Homeword to the ground. Steven didn’t want to do that and won the fight with the gems against Bluebird, but later both of those events happened anyway. So, that may have been foreshadowing to future episodes when Little Homeschool actually gets destroyed. And that could happen if Steven actually self-corrupts and becomes the massive creature from the intro.

The last important thing for possible corruption foreshadowing was that Nephrite described it as a "song". There is a lot of association between corruption and music. It’s clear Steven loves music a lot and deals with heavy themes mostly through songs. Most gems like Peridot didn’t even know what music was at first.

 Plot possibilities

All in all, it wouldn’t make sense to introduce something completely new now. Instead, the show would deal with big concepts that have already been established in a new way.

Self-corruption could be a plot device to represent his current struggles with mental state. It would make sense in the way Steven Universe functions but also for storytelling in Steven Universe Future.

Now, he has to deal with problems he accidentally created himself along the way. He has to deal with his feelings and finally sort them out. But that won’t happen until something drastic happens.

If Steven gets to a point where he corrupts himself, he will need help from others. And the person who could help him the most through that was Connie. She was always there for him, especially in the moments where he struggled with himself.

That would explain Connie’s lack of screen time when she plays a major role later on. If the focus lays on Steven and Connie, they probably get together, too. The Crewniverse teased their relationship already a lot and after de-corrupting Steven, there would be a perfect opportunity for making them canon.

   “After saving the universe, Steven is still at it, tying up every loose end. But as he runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own.”

After all those Seasons in the original series, this epilogue could show how Steven deals with his problems and that you can’t always blame your problems on someone else. Just as Pearl said once: “[Humans] want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.”

 Other theories that are possible and/or popular right now

-         Steven will leave Beach City at the end of Steven Universe Future

-         Steven loses an eye

-         Steven-fusion will split up

 References or sources? (and a few others, but I can’t find them anymore so rip me)

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189151877094/have-you-seen-the-leaked-trailer

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/188153524489/on-the-corruptedsteven-theory

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189304112304/novantinuums-corrupted-steven-theory

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189560459059/find-your-center-your-very-core-remember-your

https://backinbizmuth.tumblr.com/post/189991650603/su-mini-theory-steven-will-corrupt-himself-after

https://drawloverlala.tumblr.com/post/188219448551/hehe-about-the-corrupted-steven-theory-that-he

https://sal108.tumblr.com/post/189160278143/so-about-that-suf-promo-that-leaked-on-steven

https://alexorcism.tumblr.com/post/189801984533/look-im-just-saying

https://lifeiskorrasami.tumblr.com/post/189417484385/ever-noticed-that-pink-also-has-the-horn-spike

https://gay-cartoon-stan.tumblr.com/post/189928744648/is-no-one-but-me-concerned-that-steven-looks-more

https://badartbysomeguy.tumblr.com/post/189928770039/so-cactus-steven-is-spouting-all-of-stevens 

https://somelazyassartist.tumblr.com/post/189688736598/wait-hold-up

https://viibecheeck.tumblr.com/post/189676375245/stop-it-rebecca-what-are-you-trying-to-say

https://celly-does-art.tumblr.com/post/189982116768/some-of-yall-i-dont-think-steven-is-going-to

https://unexpectedchair.tumblr.com/post/189928860906/corrupted-steven-theory-whos-going-to-be-able-to

[melody-pendras]

MAG145 / MAG161

[Image description: two screenshots from transcripts of The Magnus Archives. The first one reads: Gertrude: What was Agnes like? Arthur: What? Gertrude: Well, for all the Web bound us together, I never actually met her. What was she like?

The second one reads: Leitner: I always forget your pyromaniac streak. Gertrude: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes sometime. /End ID]

I was thinking about this bit from 145 (and the inherent homoeroticism of being bound to someone in an arcane ritual) yesterday (BEFORE 161 dropped, because i’m goddamn psychic) & this is so fascinating like... why would she say “remind me to tell you about Agnes sometime” in reference to an ASPECT OF HER OWN PERSONALITY if she hadn’t spent extensive time with her? But also what reason would she have to lie to Arthur about knowing Agnes? Is it professional? Is it personal? Is it petty?

What exactly WAS the nature of their relationship? Like, what kind of connection can you have with someone that’s going to cause you to either 1) lie about meeting them entirely, despite the fact that you’ve been linked in ways both personal and supernatural, or 2) associate one of your own personality traits with them without ever having met them? Sure, it could make sense that she’s talking about the desolation in general-- that Web ritual she did to try to banish/contain Agnes in some way made her feel like her “lungs were trying to burn her from the inside out.” Surviving that kind of supernatural destructive force alone would be enough to be marked by the Desolation, not to mention that her supposed motivation for stopping the entities was that “the desolation killed her cat.” Also the fact that her strategy for stopping the Unknowing was to use a lot of plastic explosives. When she said “I think the Desolation is probably very fond of me,” I think she was probably right-- or at least she was fond of the Desolation in some way. (Maybe because of a certain chosen one? Hmmm? Hmmmm?)

But she didn’t SAY the Desolation was the reason for that pyromaniac streak-- she SPECIFICALLY said “remind me to tell you about Agnes.” There’s something more personal there, some history, some STORY. Combined with the fact that she’s got something resembling a friendship with Leitner-- she literally refers to him by a nickname and has a stake in his safety-- I think it’s far more likely that she’s being open with him, telling him something real. Compare this to Arthur-- they have an actively antagonistic professional(?) relationship based entirely on the fact that he serves a power that she opposes (or at least he serves it in a WAY that she opposes). If she had any kind of relationship with Agnes, I can see her being amused by the concept of lying about ever meeting her. The idea that she got to see a side of Agnes that Arthur never had any idea of, maintaining control over all the information in the situation... it’d be tempting just for Eye-based reasons. In terms of personal satisfaction, knowing you understand someone you care for (maybe romantically) better than a foe understands them, well... it’s satisfying! 

There’s also the fact that Agnes LITERALLY called Gertrude her anchor-- Arthur says in 145: “She [Agnes] never told us how she felt about being bound to you. Never even called you by name. Just called you her anchor. The thing weighing her down, tying her to this world and stopping her destiny”-- which as a metaphor has already been established in-show to indicate deep interpersonal (usually romantic) connections that override the power of the entities. I literally... don’t even know what to say at this point? it’s right there? Combine all of this with the fact that a mark from every entity is needed in order to bring about a successful ritual, and Gertrude’s binding ritual would have likely marked Agnes with Beholding and Web, technically bringing her closer to that supposed ultimate goal. But as her anchor, Gertrude’s presence in her life (whether physical or conceptual) was enough to keep her tied to this world. I literally... it’s right there. It’s right there. It’s not the ritual, necessarily, but Gertrude herself.

There’s so much here that we don’t know (yet) and it’s driving me nuts. Either way Gertrude and Agnes had some connection that’s definitely as yet unexplored, and I Would Like To See It. in conclusion: YES they have met YES they have a Deep Connection YES gay people are real YES they made out. Thank you.

[sieben9]

“beauty” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Well… That sure happened

Now that I am nothing more than the hollowed-out, broken shell of a person, let me share my feelings with you! But under the cut. (Fair warning: there is a lot of sadness in here. Proceed with caution and maybe a mug of hot chocolate. Also, don’t open this on mobile. I went a bit screencap-happy.)

I loved this episode? So much? I know, I was really subtle about it, and it’s possible to miss amidst all the crying but hoooly crap, this is easily among my Top 3, I think.

Alright, quick rundown of the “side plots”, because while That Thing™ is definitely at the forefront of my mind after watching, the other stuff going on was actually pretty good and important plot developments. Which, really is another point in the episode’s favour. Yes, the Halloween-plot worked well to space out the other stuff, and it provided some much-needed relief of tension, but it was clearly important in its own right, so…

Guh. Henry. You know I love you, but I will also find a way to smack you in the head with a rolled-up newspaper, because you are an idiot. …yes, I get that he feels like he just lost his family all over again, and that’s not something that inclines people to adventurous behaviour, but still. You were so close!

Instead, we get this:

Which, uh… I’m not saying Ivy shouldn’t have good things in life, because lord knows, that was a sad, sad story right there, but this also did not sound like you two will be good for each other. Neither of you really want a safe, “uncomplicated” romantic relationship, you want a family. Ivy, specifically, needs someone to who doesn’t just love her conditionally, and Henry… well, Henry mostly just needs to wake up from the curse, because what he wants will be all over the place until he does.

Still, Ivy’s moment of bravery when saying that she’ll deal with Belfrey and the others should enjoy their Halloween was pretty heart-warming. Did I mention that this lady worries me? I’m worried for her, and I am still worried about her.

In other news: I’m pretty sure I know where Hook’s daughter is, now.

the rook is a metaphor

I mean, I could still be wrong, but that seems like one hell of a red herring to put out. And it opens up so many questions! Did they meet again before the curse, or is this a horrible game of emotional keepaway? Does Rumple know who these two are to each other? What, exactly, is his relationship with Tilly/Alice? I mean, he was so ready to fight Tremaine over her, before and after he woke up, and he went into 107% Concerned Dad Mode when he thought she was hurting, so he clearly feels very protective of her, but when did that happen? How did that happen? Is she actually this “guardian” or is that Henry? Or is this just one big prophecy-screw, after all? Seriously, you’d think after that first disastrous experience, Rumple would have learned to never trust a prophecy. Ever. Why am I the only one here who remembers that??

Ahem. Anyways. Lots of potential there. I can’t wait to see how that one unfolds.

Other highlights included Weaver butting heads with Belfrey. It was glorious. I almost wish Rumple had woken up just a little bit later, because watching these two go up against each other was a pure delight.

Also, this:

presented without comment

…look, I’m only human.

I was also deeply amused by the conversation between Weaver and Rogers. Okay, maybe “amused” isn’t quite the word, because it’s clear that Roger’s cold case is how the curse incorporated his search for his daughter into his memories, so it could keep torturing him with the loss. Which, you know, doesn’t really qualify as amusing. But Weaver is the walking, talking personification of that meme “’I don’t care,’ I say, caringly, as I care way too much.”

Yes, it is immediately obvious that you do not care about anyone. At all. Not even a little.

pictured: a lying liar who lies

Really, the relationship between Weaver and Tilly might just have made it on the top of my list for this season, on the strength of this episode alone. The way this kind of terrible person cared so deeply for young woman, showed concern for her well-being, and directly jeopardised his own advantage and safety to help her just pushed aaaall of my buttons.

And Tilly’s mounting desperation to remind Weaver of who he really is, before she loses herself again was heart-breaking to watch. She knew she wasn’t getting out of this with her mind in once piece, but right until the end she didn’t stop fighting to help her friend.

…look, “help” looks different for different people, alright?

And with that…

Thanks, show! It’s not like I really needed my heart in the first place. Fantastic light, though.

So, I pretty much knew what was coming (in general terms at least), because… well, I had some warning and it didn’t take that much guessing in the first place. And I saw the “how” the moment that montage started because I, too, have seen Up.

I still cried like a hungry baby. My cat was very concerned.

please. your face. I cannot deal with this.

This was such a well-told story. They really gave it their all to show that yes, these two were happy, at the end. The montage, for one, which even for people who haven’t seen Up works as a good visual shorthand. The nostalgic clutter in the house. The fact that these two dorks still dance around the house when they feel like it. All the little gestures between them—the fond looks, the little tuck of a blanket, Rumple matching Belle’s steps perfectly as they walk out into the garden. I just… they were so happy together.

And I’m glad they told the story like this. Nothing bad happened to Belle. Her life wasn’t some inspiring tragedy or anything like that. She spent her life with her True Love. She raised her son and saw him grow up well. She got to fulfil her dream of travelling the world, and did so together with the people she loved most. And she died after a long and happy life, not in some grand, dramatic fashion, but simply because that is what mortals do. We die.

hi, is anyone else absolutely convinced that he carved that with his own two hands rather than use magic? because I am and I want to share my feelings! there’s quite a lot of them…

And just… you know, when that conversation with Gideon happens, and Rumple says ruefully that time might have stood still for this realm, but it didn’t for Belle… you just know he forgot about it. They were together, and they were happy, and he was so determined to spend the rest of his life with her that he didn’t realise what was happening right until she fell off that ladder. It’s clear they’d never talked about him using his magic to rejuvenate her before—that was the first time the topic ever came up, I think. And the last, of course.

(By the way, there’s totally a conversation about fridging to be had here, but I’d prefer that to be another post. I’m really deep in my feelings right now and I’d rather leave putting on the analytical hat for later in the day.)

Obviously, that entire death scene fucked me up. His face. Her face. The way they told each other their own story like it was a fairy tale (because it was!) Rumple’s half-sobbing “I am afraid”, because he sees the rest of his life without Belle looming before him and he doesn’t know how to do it. He never planned to, in the first place. And then she was gone, and he was crying, and I was crying, and the camera cut away, and you could still hear him sobbing in the background god why...

yes, I will be interspersing this with pictures of my OTP being happy and in love, why do you ask?

And while I’m a bit sad that I’ll never find out what Weaver really wanted, this very clearly sets the stage for Rumple’s motivations and goals this season. Because this episode, beautiful as it was (no pun intended), can’t be the last entry of the Rumbelle story. This was the end of act 2, and I insist on a third act. The stage is all set: Rumple needs to get rid of the dagger so he can be reunited with Belle, which, granted, a bit dark. Considering it means he’s going to die (and won’t that be a fun day…) At the same time… he said it himself: he’s seen the generations pass by and he doesn’t even want to be immortal anymore. He was planning to spend the rest of his life with Belle. Just because he wasn’t physically able to doesn’t invalidate the decision he made. He’ll just have to get there the long way around.

And can I just mention how damn impressed with Rumple’s character development I was? He threw away the dagger! Not in a moment of “do or die” crisis, not as part of an “either, or” ultimatum, no, he was just… done with all that. He didn’t want the Dark One anymore, and nobody had to push him into that realisation. So much for “my power means more to me than you”, huh, past!Rumple? (Also, is it just me or did it feel a little like he waited for Belle to be roughly his physical age to do that? Because it did to me, and I have a lot of emotions about that.)

though I might giggle for a while about how Belle went grey the way an Urban Fantasy protagonist would

Other highlights included, but are not limited to:

The neverending stream of loving looks, from soft fondness to full-on bedroom eyes...

Local Dork Caught Staring Lovingly At His Wife

Also, is there a version of that first scene where Gideon doesn’t show up? Asking for a friend.

The Skin Deep parallels!

did I open up Skin Deep to get that first screencap? of course I did.

Just… guh, my heart! And the poor cup got shattered.

Again.

Everything about that last confrontation between Alice (because at that point she could barely remember ever being Tilly) and Weaver messed me up, by the way. Her mounting desperation, because she didn’t have much time left. His frantic pleading, first because he was worried she’d hurt herself and then that she’d do something she wouldn’t be able to come back from.

And, of course, that last scene between Rumple (welcome back, buddy!) and Tremaine. I’d almost feel sorry for the woman, because she probably wasn’t counting on this happening. Though I would disagree with Rumple’s “there’s nothing you can do to hurt me”--you, my friend, just lied your ass off to help Tilly get out of trouble for shooting you. After waking up. Clearly there’s some people you still care about, and I can’t wait to see how that plays out, honestly.

And there’s so much more. I could just post stills of the entire montage here, really, because it was wonderful and I loved it, even as it cracked open my ribcage and held my still-beating heart up to my eyes so I could see the life go out of it.

…ahem. All right. Deep breath.

Like I said at the top, this episode actually had some important developments that seem like they will be catalysts to kicking the plot into gear. …and as soon as my emotional batteries have recharged, I’m sure I will be very excited about that. In the meantime… please send fluff?

Oh, on that note: I want to thank everyone who tagged me in stuff. You are amazing, and I am incredibly grateful! It’ll take a while to go through it all, but I do look at all the little @s in my notifications, and they fill me with joy. (In other news: prepare for some dashboard spam over the next... ::checks drafts:: three months or so.)

[thespacebetweenworlds]

ya know... i GoT thoughts

This post is my summarized thoughts and feelings on episodes 4, 5 and 6 in season 8. I’m putting it in a read more because... long

In short: -Missandei in e4, why it’s stupid and what should have been done differently -Varys discourse -Cersei -Daenerys -morals? in MY game of thrones? -”magic who” said everyone at HBO -opinions on the end

Me @ game of thrones: Don't ever talk to me or my son ever again

At the end of episode 4 I was having serious flashbacks to Katniss' expression at the end of Catching Fire, and I was violently reminded that even though I did not like some of the things she did I am with Daenerys. And if she burns the entire world, I am with her.

So... episode 4. What a disaster.

I've been thinking of Missandei's death and that it could easily have been something better, something that impacts the last two episodes more than just another emotional blow at Daenerys. (Like Rhaegal was bad enough? Her son died? Why double the pain and take her best friend?) (Rhaegal owns my life and That Scene killed me and I’m not okay)

The plot could have easily been changed so that either Jaime or Brienne or both of them were on that ship with Tyrion, Grey Worm and Missandei. Really, they ended up going to King’s Landing anyway. And then, instead of Missandei, either Tyrion, or Jaime, or Brienne could have been captured and then killed at the end of the episode. Don’t look at me, it’s not like any of them did anything for the plot or the story later. And Tyrion telling Jon to kill Daenerys doesn’t count because it was stupid.

If it were Tyrion, standing chained on the city wall, we'd have Jaime standing next to Daenerys and in front of his sister. We’d have an emotional show down between them, the physical distance and the different sides they’re on can be a metaphor for their love life. OR if it were Jaime who was captured, we'd have a Jaime and Euron confrontation an episode earlier, and a Jaime and Cersei confrrontation, before Jaime dies in front of Tyrion by their sister's hand. Cruel, but hey, so was Missandei’s death. OR if it were Brienne, captured and chained, then Jaime and Cersei would stare into each others eyes all emotionally, and Brienne would die for love, and when Jaime and Cersei would meet in private an episode later, maybe it would be different.

Game of Thrones would have: a very emotional audience, very emotional characters AND an actual reason for Sansa and Arya to leave Winterfell (vengeance).

Game of Thrones would not have: killed off the only major black character, and given the white men another reason to think Daenerys is being "emotional" and therefore somehow unfit for the throne.

Now... Varys. What an idiot.

To understand my point, watch this video where Varys and Littlefinger discuss chaos. Littlefinger claims chaos to be a ladder, and the higher you climb the greater your power, while Varys calls chaos a gaping pit. Varys claims to acting “for the realm,” which is what he says in season 8 when justifying his betrayal. I think he’s afraid. I think that Varys only just noticed that he can’t influence Daenerys like he could all the kings he served before, and he sees chaos in Daenerys’s power, a gaping pit that he thinks will swallow his precious realm. Varys hasn’t realised that his idea of a realm is the wheel Dany wishes to break.

Like, Varys wasn't there when she went through flames, he wasn't there when she freed the slaves or united the khals. He wasn’t there when she locked her dragons underground when they killed a child, he wasn’t with her during her desperate attempts to bring peace.

And when did we forget that not only Unsollied and Dothraki followed Daenerys? She promised a home to those who followed her, warrior or not. She had many families following her ever since her dragons were born, and from all the cities she went through there were people who followed her. For a better world. Where are they when Daenerys goes to Westeros?

Moving on to the major bullshit in episode 5.

Or wait, first some sibling bonding. Jaime and Cersei. I suppose lots of people liked Jaime breaking up with Cersei, but I quite liked the fact that in the end he was at her side (I kinda expected him to stab Cersei the same way Jon stabs Daenerys later, but now I think they probably attempted to not be repetitive). I like that Tyrion helped him be there. Families are important to Westerosi culture. It’s sad that the Lannisers got more heartfelt sibling bonding than the Starks though (Alexa, play the Rains of Castamere).

Things get soupier. Both Cersei and Daenerys have three children that lived, and they’d do anything for them. Then throughout the season, we see Cersei standing around, looking badass, plotting the death of her enemies, all that. But that’s all she does, She’s painted as a villain, when she is only a woman who wants to rule.

Now the bullshit: Cersei is the villain in episodes 4 and 5, and then there’s a seamless change to Daenerys as the villain in episodes 5 and 6. And that’s fucked up. Other posts talk about the sexism (and racism, with Missandei killed for... shock value? tears? fuck knows) in this season better than I could.

The to Cersei’s disappointment nonexistent elephants in the room when discussing my favourite dragon lady is the moral question. The entirety of tumblr fandom likes to have their characters and storytelling labeled neatly as “good” or “irredeemably bad.” It’s one of those things and never both. But Game of Thrones doesn’t work like that, and if you think it does, please, please read the books, or rewatch everything.

Despite that, if you had one (1) functional brain cell, you’d know that Daenerys wouldn’t burn the entire city. She’s never kiiled innocent people on purpose. Why would she start now? But okay, she did that. About half of the other major players would have done the same. Maybe Robert Baratheon wouldn’t, but only because he was the rebel and he needed public opinion of him to be somehwat positive. Renly idk, but Stannis would have. To Margaery it probably wouldn’t occur, but both Littlefinger and Cersei wouldn’t hesitate, just as Cersei didn’t hesitate when blowing up the sept.

Game of Thrones has never been so much about good and evil, it has been about a bunch of people who want things. All of them did morally black things, but suddenly we have Jon, a character who wants to do the “right” thing? Ned Stark died for this kinda mindset. (Not to mention it’s out of character. Jon has always been Ned Stark’s son, but even Jon broke his oaths.)

And hell, that’s why the story works so well. There’s no moral initiative, no “good” or “bad,” and while yeah, the Night King and the Lord of Light drama is pretty dark/light storytelling (not to mention all the comparisons to the real world and climate change), that’s in the background. A subplot.

Because what we care about are the characters, the very real motivations they have, how they deal with life, how they get what they want, the fucking game of thrones. And there’s no good and evil people, there’s people, and you disagree with some of them. Just like Captain America and Ironman disagreed in Civil War, maybe a bit like T’Challa and Killmonger disagreed in Black Panther, and definitely like some people like cats and others like dogs.

(Vanilla vs. Chocolate discourse, anyone?)

Moving on to episode 6.

I cried a lot, and to be honest, I wanted both Jon and Tyrion to be dragon food. But okay, they’re both nice guys, I can deal with them being alive, and after all Jon’s ending with the wildlings is good for him. But.

Jon killing Daenerys is the stupidest thing ever. I get that it’s somehow like some Shakespearean Drama, and Daenerys is the tragic hero, but like??

Sometimes show writers have no idea who they’re writing and it shows. Because Jon loved Ygritte, and he wasn’t able to kill her when they were on opposite sides of a battlefield. And Jon loved Daenerys. ???????

Additionally, I’m not saying I hate all of what they did with the magic and the Lord of Light and the Night King, the Children of the Forest and Azor Ahai lore. But they didn’t do enough of it. There are so many lose threads on the magic in this series, I can’t. And it hurts, because it could have been so beautiful. Those scenes where Daenerys walks through fire and doesn’t die, those scenes beyond the wall with the three eyed raven, and the beautiful, majestetic, perfect dragons? They are what I love about A Song of Ice and Fire.

Last but not least, the end. Like, I have many opinions, and I’m not going to attempt to list all of them. Game of Thrones has many strong women characters, and I’d like to give another thought to Yara of House Greyjoy. Both she and Sansa deserved more. I love that Sansa became Queen in the North, but I hate that apparently she planned Daenerys’s downfall by telling Tyrion about Jon’s parents. Why can’t strong ladies be friends?

The end to such a successful story can’t please everyone, so if you feel like it you can join me and my son, Drogon, in a pile of blankets where we pretend GoT ended with episode 3 and it was simply too dark to see what exactly happened. Did Melisandre bring Viserion back from the dead? Did Bran do some cool magic? Did Missandei marry Grey Worm and sail home to Naath? Guess we’ll never know...

But seriously, the thing with the book was so cheesy and stupid what the fuck?? Can we rename the series to “The Rise and Fall of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen”?

You know what I missed in season 8? The Stark siblings. They interacted like,, 2 times in 6 episodes. They were all finally united again, well, those who didn’t die, and then they part ways? Um? No?

@ game of thrones: don’t talk to me or my son, Drogon, ever again. You know what you did.

And I'm salty that Daenerys and Sansa aren't best friends. Like, enemies to lovers is fine but what about enemies to friends to lovers -

[courtingstars]

Notes for Storming the Castle, Chapter 9

Hello again, dear AkaFuri readers! It feels SO nice that it hasn’t been too long since I last updated. I replied to all the Ch. 8 comments on Ao3 (YAY), but I did want to mention that I’m still planning to reply to several people who left me really nice notes here on Tumblr as well. Hopefully that’ll happen later today or this weekend, so thanks for your patience! (Also I apologize for the awkwardness of replying two weeks later... Family holiday stuff last week turned out to be, uh, a lot? //laughs) On to the notes!

Most of my notes this time are brief, since I didn’t have too much in the way of cultural info or setting inspiration that I haven’t mentioned already. But in the interest of sharing, here are some things I remembered…

(Cut for my usual rambling about Akashi’s house and previous fics and mental health and also THE SPOOKY STUFF/why KnB is a supernatural story anyway...)

The “Italian velvet” reference in the pillow fight

This is a really silly note that I’m including just to demonstrate how out-of-control my Google research gets… Here are some throw pillows made from Italian silk velvet, which was the fanciest imported fabric I could come up with for the pillow fight scene. (Because of course I managed to squeeze a pillow fight scene into my super-dramatic sleepover fic, haha. XD) And in case for some reason you want to know a little bit about the super-posh history of this fabric, I’ve got you covered.

(… Seriously, why do I look up things like that?)

The Akashi Family Portrait

The huge portrait of Akashi and his parents is something that I’ve been preparing to include in the story for a while… It was inspired by those gigantic paintings you often see in super-fancy European estates, that idealize powerful members of the aristocracy. (Or royalty, in some cases!) Since the Akashi house is a Western-style mansion, the idea seemed pretty fitting, as over-the-top and surreal as it is? //laughs Over on my Pinterest inspiration board for this fic, I included a bunch of different ideas for the gown that Shiori is wearing in the portrait. I especially like the color of this one and the overall silhouette of this one but this is spectacular as well. (Her gown probably wouldn’t be as low cut as those examples, for multiple cultural reasons, but you still get the general idea?) There’s actually a lot of Shiori-related inspiration in that part of the board, including a couple KnB images!

The Traditional Tatami Room

So this one is interesting… Back in Chapter Five, you might remember that Furihata’s house—like many Japanese homes—has a traditional Japanese-style room with tatami mats on the floor. Since Akashi’s house in the anime is based on an actual Western-style mansion near Tokyo, my initial assumption was that his house wouldn’t have any traditional rooms. BUT, it turns out the actual house does have at least one room with tatami mats, as you can see in the third photo from the bottom here. (You can also see a photo of it in the first link!) So I decided to include it in Furihata’s midnight exploration of the rooms, where he discovers the Akashi family butsudan.

I’ve mentioned butsudan in the notes in Part One, but as a quick reminder, a butsudan is a family shrine that is partly used to honor relatives who are deceased.

References to Fast Train

Since it’s been a looooong time since I posted the first story of this series, I did want to mention that a few of the things that Furihata thinks about during Part Two are referring to events that happened in The Fast Train to Kyoto. Furihata’s first dream about meeting Shiori is one example. Another one, in this chapter, is when Furihata sees Akashi’s father in person for the first time, and remembers that Akashi once told him that he “was instructed to keep people at a distance.” That’s from their phone mail conversation in Chapter Seven of Fast Train.

I try to make sure that any fic in a series can be read by itself, so I usually stop to explain these references in some way, for those who didn’t read the earlier story. But that one was vague enough that I figured it deserved a nod!

Photo References for the Bedroom

I linked some of these before, but since the final scene featured Akashi’s bedroom so much, I thought I would link a few of my photo inspirations for his bed here, here and here. Also, I forgot that he wasn’t wearing the robe in the previous chapter, so here’s a few photos I picked for possible inspiration there. (Those are both a little fancier compared to what I saw in my head, but I’m okay with that? //laughs)

Furihata’s Anxiety

I won’t go into panic attacks and anxiety here, since that information is pretty readily available online… But I did think it was worth mentioning that while Furihata has panicked in front of Akashi in my fics (and in canon!), he says that until now he’s tried to avoid having an attack that severe in front of a friend. Since this series is meant to be about two people who struggle with different mental health disorders, I think it’s noteworthy that Furihata trusts Akashi enough at this point to let his new friend be around him when he’s at his most vulnerable, and to see the full extent of what he struggles with.

(And I’ll also say that this is a theme in the series that’s going to come around again. I won’t say exactly how, because of the spoiler factor, but… I bet a lot of you can figure it out! Seriously, your insight about where the story is going constantly amazes me. <3)

All The Supernatural Stuff

To be honest, I have no idea if I should be apologizing or not, for how supernatural this chapter gets? //laughs Several people have told me that they’re still reading this series because they enjoy the idea of Furihata having supernatural powers, like the ability to see auras. So, uh… I hope you enjoyed this chapter? XD

I have to admit that from the beginning of A Spark of Light, I was planning to include various elements of the supernatural. (I was foreshadowing this in Fast Train too, so, see previous note? //laughs) That’s one of my favorite things about KnB, if I’m 100% honest… I’m obsessed with all kinds of fantasy and speculative fiction, so I love all the little hints in the KnB canon that something kind of supernatural might be going on with the Generation of Miracles. Like how Kuroko has absolutely no “presence” but the GoM have really strong ones, and how they all have that weird clairaudient vision of a door opening in that one episode, and… yeah. XD Even the more subtle stuff, like all the different patterns of matching names (no kidding, almost EVERYONE has names that match in different ways, even Seirin and the Uncrowned Kings!). Plus the way the GoM are the only ones with super colorful hair, and also Akashi’s slitted pupils? (SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH THE CAT PUPILS, WHY DOES NOBODY IN CANON EVER ASK ABOUT THAT.)

Come to think of it, I can go ahead and mention this now… The series title, A Spark of Light, is meant at least partly as a reference Furihata’s first name! “Kouki” includes the kanji for “light,” and one translation for its full meaning is “establishes brilliance.” (Light symbolism is super important in KnB in general, for obvious reasons. XD) So the title partly refers to how during the series, Furihata’s intuitive and supernatural powers are “sparking” to life, and this affects pretty much everything that happens. (And it’s one of the reasons why he is able to get so close to Akashi in the first place.)

Side note: This is loosely related to the reoccurring thing with Furihata (or a character that represents him!) holding a small light, like a lantern/candle. I also use a lot of fire symbolism for Akashi, because fire is pretty strongly associated with the color red in Japan. So one is the “spark” while the other is the “flame,” basically? METAPHORS. //I’msocornyohgodhelp

In any case, the supernatural parts are definitely becoming more and more important to the plot! Furihata doesn’t fully accept some of what he sees in this chapter, but I can say that he’s going to have to face some of what it means for him (and for his connection to Akashi) very soon.

(And hopefully I didn’t creep anyone out too badly with the ghost stuff… I know some of you definitely saw it coming! But with any luck, the way in which it was finally introduced had an interesting twist to it… I hope?)

As always, thanks for checking out my ramble-y notes, and thanks so much for reading the fic. <3 See you again soon for the final chapter!

[first-of-her-nxme]

Where is the coherent foreshadowing for Jaqen and Arya? It all seems taken out of fucking nowhere

It starts in the very first book when Arya names her direwolf after the queen who married a Dornishman, and it never stops because Arya and Jaqen are repeating Lyanna’s and Rhaegar’s story. Of course, in ASOIAF, the story is never exactly the same. Which by the way gives me hope that at least they will have their happy ending. Or the closest thing to a happy ending, which in George Martin’s world means less heartbreaking than the others’;d

Trouble with Jaqarya foreshadowing is that George Martin started writing the story with a five year gap in mind between Arya’s arrival in Braavos and A Dance with Dragons. So, when he first envisioned the story he already had a 15 year old Arya in mind. It means that Arya and Jaqen would have reunited in A Dance with Dragons already and she would have been old enough for a romance. It also means that Jaqen’s identity would have been revealed in A Dance with Dragons.

But, since GRRM abandoned the idea, we have to wait for the reveal till The Winds of Winter. As a consequence the whole build-up is made of hints, symbols, clues, metaphors, parallels to R/L and so on. Nothing is said explicitly because it would ruin the big reveal of who Jaqen is and what’s ahead of them. 

So, from the top:

1. Arya names her direwolf after Nymeria, a queen who found home far from her own country and who married a Dornishman. Jaqen is half Dornish, he is Elia’s and Rhaegar’s son, Aegon VI. I already pinned the answer about his true identity to my profile so please read it if you need further explanation.

Thanks to the Game of Thrones finale we know that Arya will sail across the sunset sea. I searched through the books after s8 and of course I found information that they bothe, J&A, will leave. I guess I need to thank D&D for Arya’s ending, otherwise I would have overlooked the clues completely. 

So, either they will find home far away, somewhere in the sea, or in Braavos or in Dorne or they will return to Jaqen’s castle ( the Red Keep or Dragonstone ). Wherever they will stay, it’s going to be far from Arya’s birth place, Winterfell. 

2. Nymeria has golden eyes, Arya thinks that they shine like golden coins - it’s another connection to Jaqen ( Aegon ) who switches his iron coin for a golden dragon in A Feast for Crows. The coin is poisoned and kills Pate but it’s also a symbol of courtship. Pate needed it to claim his beloved Rosey.

3. On the way to King’s Landing, Arya is picking up flowers in the Neck, perhaps in the same area where the flowers for Lyanna’s crown had been picked. Ned is deeply moved when he sees Arya with the flowers because she reminds him of Lya. The flowers are purple - purple is the symbol of royal birth, of the rightful heir to the throne whom Jaqen ( Aegon ) is. They are called poisoned kisses and burn Arya’s hands - Jaqen is using poisons and represents fire. He is a Targ, a future dragon rider. Arya will also burn her hands and lips in the House of Black and White while learning to make poisons.”Poisoned kisses” is a bad name, it implies doomed love which reminds us of R/L. For Arya it means a love for the murderer. Hopefully with a happier ending than Lya’s love.      

4. Ned tells Arya that she will marry a king and rule his castle and they will have sons. Like I said before, Jaqen is the rightful king. In A Clash of Kings, Arya even reveals his identity though it is very cleverly concealed in the scene when she gives him his own name. To be brief: it's a play on words; he asks her if the name of the king she wants dead is Joffrey and she answers the name ( of the king ) is Jaqen H’ghar. So Joffrey is not the king, he’s impostor, the true king is Jaqen.

5. In King’s Landing, Arya has dreams of Rhaenys though she doesn’t realize it. She also catches Rhaenys’s cat, her “little dragon”, and kisses its forehead. In Harrenhal, Jaqen kisses her forehead as if to return the kiss;)

6. Arya ruins Sansa’s silk dress and offers to make her a new one. Sansa tells her she could make a dress good enough only to clean the pigsty.

That pigsty is kind of a big deal.

In fairytales, princes disguise themselves as swineherds to hide their true identity, like in H.C Andersen’s story “The Swineherd”.

George Martin used this motif in his books too. In AFFC Jaqen wears the face of Pate “the Pig Boy”. Arya, on the other hand, lives in Braavos in his house, makes dresses and sweeps the floors. She lives in the Pig Boy’s house, in the pigsty, and cleans it -  just like Sansa has said. Only the pigsty is the prince’s house like Ned has foretold. 

7. In Harrenhal, Jaqen wakes Arya from her wolf dream and kisses her. This motif comes from the Sleeping Beauty fairytale - only the prince can awake the sleeping beauty. 

8. Also in Harrenhal, Jaqen and Arya make their “weasel soup”. They pour hot broth on the guards to free the Northmen. Jaqen gives Arya a pair of padded gloves and he is wearing the identical gloves himself, while they struggle the pot of soup between them - it’s a metaphor for sharing power. Gloves are symbol of power and noble birth. 

The cooking pot is another motif borrowed from “The Swineherd” - the prince has a magic pot that plays a song. Jaqen ( Aegon ) has a song too, a song of Ice and Fire. 

9. Jaqen gives Arya his coin ( we already know it’s a symbol of courtship ) and she pays with it for a passage across the narrow sea. She crosses the sea to get to the House of Black and White, the house of darkness.

In Greek mythology, the souls of dead people pay with a coin to cross the river and get to the Underworld. Arya, like Persephone, is first shown while picking up flowers and then she descends into the Underworld seduced by GRRM’s version of Hades. Hades has a three-headed dog, Jaqen has a prophecy ( and the coin ) of a three-headed dragon.

10. When Arya meets the Ghost of High Heart, the witch compares her to Jenny, a girl with flowers in her hair who fell in love with a Targaryen prince.

11. In ASOS, Arya listens to Tom Sevenstrings playing My Featherbed song. The song was written by Rhaegar for Lyanna. It tells the story of Jenny and Duncan Targaryen but Rhaegar concealed his own feelings for Lya in the text. The lyrics refer to Arya and Jaqen as well - they repeat J/D and R/L story of a Targaryen prince and a girl from the North.

Of course Rhaegar didn’t know about his son and Lya’s niece when he wrote the song:)) 

The song is not about Gendrya, like people think. I already mentioned it in one of my answers. It’s very important because it helps to understand what had happened in Harrenhal and what will happen to Arya and Jaqen. 

Arya hears My Featherbed after Gendry invited her to the smithy. He knocked her over and they wrestled. Her dress was torn and she looked as if someone had tried to hurt her. Right after Tom plays Rhaegar’s song. Gendry obviously didn’t want to hurt Arya but that scene explains what Robert did in Harrenhal after Rhaegar left - he was furious that Rhaegar crowned Lya so he demanded “his rights”. That’s why Lyanna ran off. Rhaegar was her rescue.

 12. In the House of Black and White Arya sleeps under the red blanket which reminds her of her favorite blanket from Winterfell. I’m sure it’s Jaqen’s blanket, and perhaps his bed too, because red is his color: red hair, red poison, red war, red god, red comet over Harrenhal, red dragon (?)  - red accompanies him throughout his journey. Of course black is his color too, it’s the color of the Stranger. Red and black are the colors of House...

13. In Arya’s Braavosi chapters GRRM concealed the story of the beginning of Rhaegar’s and Lyanna’s love in Harrenhal. But that’s a massive story to tell so I will write a separate post about it.

14. Finally, in Mercy chapter Arya hears the story of the first Black Pearl of Braavos, the pirate queen, and her affair with King Aegon IV. She sighs wistfully and says that she would love to see a dragon too. Dragon here means more than an animal, GRRM once again hints at her future romance with the Dragon.

15. “Mercy” chapter parallels the prologue to A Feast for Crows. Originally it was meant to be in AFFC but GRRM eventually moved it to TWOW.

Perhaps GRRM wanted Jaqen’s chapter to start AFFC and Arya’s chapter to end the book. The prologue is a chapter with two main motifs: dragons and love. “Mercy” is a chapter of revenge and love for a dragon. The prologue starts at night when Pate’s beloved is sleeping naked in her room. “Mercy” starts at dawn when Arya wakes up naked in her room and sees a dragon boat passing beneath her window.

But those two chapters are so rich in parallels that they deserve a separate post as well:)

16. While Jaqen and Arya are having their adventures in Oldtown and Braavos respectively, in the North Mance is infiltrating Winterfell. Mance is posing as a bard. He sings a song of a Dornishman’s wife in turn with the Northman’s daughter. It’s another delightful hint that the Northman’s daughter, Ned’s daughter is ( well, will be ) the Dornishman’s wife.

As you can see it’s a pretty massive foreshadowing. I probably still omitted something because there are really tons of those clues. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed the read. 

Thanks for the ask :)

[thenightling]

Umm...  Uh...  Umm... uh... (The Dreaming related...)

I’m a little disappointed right now.  I’m trying to embrace the parts I like but I’m a nerd and I am compelled to whine about the parts that annoy me.  ‘Tis the nature of Nerdom.

  Warning, here there be ranting and it might be hyperbolic.  

Can someone else take over writing this thing, please?

I don’t know which is worse.  The poor characterization of the old Dreaming comics of the late 90s and early 2000s or the hamhanded allegories in the new The Dreaming.   Poor Merv is now literally a Straw Man about bigotry.  And the Lucien narrations aren’t... good...

I know everyone wants to bring their own flavor to The Sandman Universe and only Neil Gaiman can and will sound like Neil Gaiman but this doesn’t even feel like the characters.   This feels like a self-righteous Marvel comic from a year and a half ago...  And yes, I know that Vertigo is a division of DC, I’m just making the comparison. 

And why the Hell has poor Merv been turned into a thinly disguised Trump Supporter stereotype?  He was always an ass but he was an equal opportunity ass.  WHY would you even WANT to use the blue collar, pumpkin headed scarecrow as your bigot metaphor?  You just made a LITERAL strawman.  This is almost as bad (if not worse) than using Cain to represent misogyny.  

Much like a certain late 90s / early 2000s version of The Dreaming I sense no love for these characters.  It feels like resentment or a belief that they can be used to represent anything at all and to Hell with consistent characterization.  

The Dora-needs-sex scene in issue 1 of The Dreaming felt so pointless other than “Look at us! We have adult content!  Wheee!” It’s like counting all the F bombs in Spartacus: Blood and Sand and realizing most of them were used as filler and or just to remind you that you were watching Starz.

  Some dialogue is just unpleasant to read.  (“Get thee behind me, Creeper.”)   First, Dora, you were created in the 90s.   Creeper wasn’t the usual term in mid-90s. It was usually just creep. I guess she could have picked up on the word from a dreamer so it’s not that bad but she still dresses and wears her hair like the 1990s. 

 Also, Dora, you just slept with this demon and now you’re threatening to crush this being’s testicles for suggesting a bear (which is literally an extension of himself) take part and how dare he still be horny!  As gross as that is, you’re not dealing with a normal bear or normal place and this scene doesn’t “empower” me as a woman.  Anyone else feeling “empowered” by this?!?  Threatening a horny demon immediately after sex with him doesn’t give me a “girl power” feel.  Actually I was never a fan of that slogan because I remember when it was just a marketing gimmick for the Spice Girls.  I wish we had a better woman’s strength slogan.  

Another line that stands out was “Malignant penetration”.   

That was was such an inorganic and forced line, I groaned as soon as it appeared, knowing it was just there for innuendo.   What the Hell!?  This is lazy!  I expect better from The Sandman Universe. 

Way to phone-in witty suggestive dialogue...

 At least they know Brimstone smells like a fart...

Why is it every “empowered” female character has to be edgy, angry at authority, and with a chip on her shoulder now?  It’s turning into a tired cliche.   Do we need to be angry and resentful to be “empowered”?    I’m starting to hate that world, “Empowered.”   It feels contrived and when you sit and think about it, it has a pandering quality that suggests we had no power to begin with.  But that’s a tangent for another day.   

I’m also starting to get annoyed with being smacked in the face with constant reminders that Dora is “Different” and “Dora is special” and “Dreams aren’t supposed to be able to do that” ect...  How many times are you going to tell us how unique she is? 

Also this is getting so blatant.  Lookie, they’re still forming.  They need to be educated.  They’re innocent and still taking shape.  And they’re not really blank after all.   But they can barely speak the language.  And they’re being rounded up by someone who doesn’t care or understand them and kept in pens.  These are children in detention centers.  For God’s sake!

Merv is creating detention centers for children... 

And they are refugees that need sanctuary.  This isn’t symbolic.  This is blatant.  And I feel like I’m being treated like an idiot that is having every little metaphor (and it’s more allegory than metaphor) explained to me.    I don’t mind when writing can make me feel like an idiot (Like discovering the cat in Sandman: Overture was Desire all along) but I don’t like being treated like an idiot who needs everything explained to them.   

And I am dreading what they are going to do to our favorite Jack-o-Lantern and his personality for the October / Halloween issue.   

This is not Merv.   “Make The Dreaming great again” should NOT be a thing.   You have taken the blue collar construction worker type and turned him into an obnoxious allegory.  As I said, Merv was always an ass but he was OUR ass and he never acted quite like this.  This is one of those obnoxious over-the-top political statements that made me wander from Marvel and be embarrassed that I’m a liberal.   

This is also teetering on classism that the only character that can be classified as blue collar worker is the one being used as an ignorant bigot.   Merv had his likable moments in the original Sandman.  This is bordering on offensive.

Also, could someone kindly tell the new writer that unless Daniel manipulated the Griffon’s memory to make him think he was a gift from The Greeks, the Griffon is not of The Dreaming and there for should NOT be changed by the weirdness going on.  He was a gift from the Greeks.

At first I thought The Griffon looking like that was a result of the weirdness going on in The Dreaming and then I was like “Wait a second.  Either Daniel tricked the re-created Griffon into thinking he wasn’t of The Dreaming or he is, as The Wake told us, a gift from the Greek Gods.)

And now Daniel is being messed with and he’s not even in this!  Here, I’ll show you how...

Lucien, disguised as Daniel (and The Dream entities somehow fall for this...) tells Merv to teach The beings and to care for them.   And somehow this is supposed to be out-of-character for Daniel.   Uhh... Why? 

Why do people keep thinking Daniel is supposed to be cold?!    Daniel is supposed to be the warmer, kinder aspect of Dream. 

And yet, here’s Morpheus during his douchiest phase.

Why is it whenever someone other than Neil Gaiman writes Daniel he comes off colder and meaner than Morpheus at his darkest?    I wrote a post a while back explaining my theory as to why this happens but it still baffles me...

https://thenightling.tumblr.com/post/175624611158/theories-about-why-dc-writers-have-not-handled

WHY is the “Care for them” something he wouldn’t say, exactly?!

And poor Lucien.  The constant monologue is weird and yet people are acting like he’s always done this.  Uh... Since when?   It was Morpheus who did most of the narration in the early Sandman and in Sandman: Overture.    Granted there was the weird talk bubble in Dark Night’s metal that made Lucien’s text look like Morpheus’.  It’s enough to conceive a new and weird conspiracy theory.

I’m not really comfortable with poor Lucien’s forgetfulness.  I’m afraid that like the illegal immigration / refugee allegory in that this will be a poorly handled alzheimer's metaphor.      

Okay, I’ve bitched enough.  Now for things I actually like to try to make this post a little less angry and aggressive.  

I like that there’s something mysterious building but I’m afraid it’ll be a let down and something as mundane as Starro again...

I like that now there’s actually a reason Daniel isn’t intervening. 

I love the artwork.  

I haven’t entirely given up on Dora’s potential.   I’m still curious enough to want to know what’s going to happen. 

There are parts actually written well and interestingly, almost like Neil Gaiman, himself. 

And I am still glad that there is new Sandman content but this wasn’t a great first taste of The Dreaming.  I had liked The Sandman Universe 1 well enough but this (The Dreaming 1) ... not so much... 

Anyway, that’s my review of the new Dreaming comic.  Ultimately it wasn’t as good as I hoped and I’m not thrilled with the preachy feel of parts of it.  And Doria’s interesting quality from The Sandman Universe is starting to wane in favor of a cliche chip-on-her-shoulder “empowered” trope and that bugs me because I want to like her.

Anyway...  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O1hM-k3aUY

@deathlyendless @zalemoonshadow @sorry-for-the-chocolate  @endlessemptynight @minxymojo @vagaryhexxx @thejediviking @fortmarmorus @winterbirdybuddy  @treebrooke79 

[fessel-vox]

more word vomit and idea yeeting

A red herring cabbage seller for a mafia.

 Like, there’s a mafia, and there’s this farmer dude posted all the way in another country, and a ton of the mafia’s associations end up on that farmer’s giant plot of land. The cabbage farmer doesn’t mind the company of the FBI and police and usually ends up inviting them into her house, but the FBI and police are so bloody suspicious because like, wh???? There’s so many pecking things all leading to this one cabbage farmer, there MUST be some sort of relation to this terrible and amazingly hidden mafia and this humble cabbage farmer. The cabbage farmer, herself, admits every time that she doesn’t know of having any relations with anyone from any mafia, and she’s telling the truth! Sometimes she’d get customers from the next country, and a couple of her friends come by and visit, but that’s it. And that’s the thing. Every single customer is from the mafia, very much in disguise, because her produce is just so pecking good, and the leader of the mafia loves it so much that they keep telling all of these people to visit this place, specifically. Of course, false hints leading to this area of farm land being the base of the mafia’s operations are dropped, but nobody is able to state with confidence that this farmer woman has any relations with the mafia.

The boss of this mafia absolutely loves their salad, that’s been established, but they also have a love of basically anything to do with plants. That’s right, The Boss of this mafia is vegan and she’s proud of it. Just about all of the red herrings she leaves behind are plant and lettuce related. She has over seventy alternate and business email accounts and all of them are related to lettuce or general produce. She has tons of plants within where ever she works, and none of them are plastic. Actually, she despises plastic plants so much, that anyone that owns them instantly get written onto her list of people on her bad side, if she finds out they’re those types of people. You can’t just purchase beauty. You have to cultivate it, care for it, nurture it as it grows. The Boss very much integrates this mindset into her work. You can’t just purchase a family, nor power. She has accumulated lots and lots of wealth, and distributes it to her workers somewhat generously, but she still tries to make her ‘family’ understand that you can’t just purchase something and you’ll become improved. You need to be able to put your heart into something and care a bit about it. That way, you’ll end up that much richer than you were before you took the risk of caring. Of course, plants may die despite your best efforts, and it’d be so much safer to buy a plastic plant, but where’s the fun in that?

The Boss understands that to have things come easy is to have things be shallow. When she walks into the homes of new clients, she makes sure to assess everything; how they choose to present themselves, the things within their home, the state of their home, etc. I have writer’s block, I have writer’s block, I have writer’s block, I have writer’s block, I have writer’s block

Oh yes, and I presume The Boss would actually very much enjoy dancing. Formally dancing, of course. I wonder if I could use the fact that she’s a cat as a metaphor somehow… Not someone who’s on the bottom for sure, but she understands that there’s bigger things out there, therefore, it’s best to stay low and enjoy what she has while watching her back.

Her ‘family’ mainly comprises of people who were formerly down on their luck, and most of her clients are only temporary, since she understands they may need something yet don’t want to be affiliated with her business or practices. She’s okay with that ant understands, but at times, if she feels like someone might be very fit for working for her, she’d extend an offer to them for a job.

I definitely feel like, yes, she’s had troubles with the law and has done some not-particularly-cash-money stuff, and haha the ‘business’ she runs is called the Meowfia, but she does try to be clean with the people she works with, allowing them the opportunity to not get caught up in the Meowfia. She’s powerful and intimidating, but has gained the trust and respect of many people. I wonder what her past may have been like…

Maybe not that good, poor? Heck, maybe she started out having a dream of being a police officer, but as some stuff happened, she ended up falling into the world of crime, therefore getting a bit deeper down on her luck. Despite the trouble, after many years, maybe over ten, she managed to amass a community of people she could trust. She became a leader to them, and more people who ended up one way or another being at odds with the law turned to her and her family, and she’d help them out. Sometimes she’s been turn on by people, and that has made her a bit more cold and ready to take a step back from the feelings of excitement of having a new client or member of the Meowfia. Her family eventually became an empire, one that she intended to maintain. There were days were it was difficult, where multiple people would slip up and/or break her trust, possibly putting the Meowfia at risk, and there were days where she’d be absolutely, terribly stressed. Maybe she’d have a right-hand-person, and on days where she’d take a break that person would take the wheel.

On some days where she gets terribly stressed, she’d dress up as someone more humble, compared to her usual choice of a suit and other formal attire, and go to another country. She’d take a while to breathe, and catch up with someone who had a much slower lifestyle, enjoying some of the finest vegetables and salad she’d ever taste. It was nice to spend a few days with her farmer friend, and the friend, Peony, felt the same whenever she came to visit. Sometimes Peony would mention having to deal with the police again last month, and The Boss would chuckle a bit and apologize.

“Oh, but it’s really no big deal, Beda! I invited them in for some tea, and they were really impressed with it. -Speaking of which, want me to give you some more?”

“Sure… and thanks,” Peony went to get the tea kettle and came back.

“Oh, it’s really no trouble,” “No, it’s not that-- but, thankyou for the tea, as well-”

Beda watched as she refilled the tea cup and smiled a bit.

“It’s…”

For helping keep my business hidden and not asking me about it at all, understanding that it’s for the best you don’t know? Allowing me to stay here even though I have a terrible track record? Treating me so kindly and /genuinely/, something that has been getting harder and harder to come by?

“It’s.. for everything, thankyou,”

“Oh, no problem!”

Peony put the tea kettle back and returned to the lounge chair next to the one Beda was sitting in on the front porch.

The Boss wasn’t entirely sure why she does all this for her, though. Sure, The Boss does work very diligently behind the scenes, too, to make sure that her.. Her business partner, this farmer, was safe, but Peony-- she didn’t /have/ to smile so sweetly almost every time they were together, or accept the Boss’ gifts with so much appreciation, or even just allow The Boss to stay more than a few hours.

Heck, she didn’t even know why she trusted this farmer so much… Putting so much trust in people was risky, lately.

But anyways, they were both sitting on the porch, and it felt just so relaxing. It was truly what both of them needed. Of course, neither of them were entirely aware that what they both needed was to be with each other, but either way, The Boss finally felt at peace, and Peony was reminded that the world has so, so many mysteries and excitement, and that it wasn’t all simply this plot of land.

Of course, she /did/ love her job of farming and tending for crops, and looking after her chickens, goats, and other animals, but sometimes it’d feel like.. She wasn’t doing enough. She’d spend an entire day working and yet somehow still feel like she wasn’t doing enough with her life. She didn’t /want/ to feel this way, that was for sure, and yet, some days, this feeling of no accomplishment clung to her horribly… There were days where the loneliness, instead of being comforting, wasn’t exactly so, and it felt like the whole world was this farm.

Don’t get her wrong though, there were days where she felt at peace with what she was doing, and enjoyed it very much! Caring for her animals and tending to crops was meditative, and she enjoys all the time to think quite a bit. She’s really thought about a lot, too.. Maybe she took a class or two in philosophy, but one thing for sure was that she had a lot of books in her house, many of which have been read multiple times over, with an uncountable amount of annotations, notes, and little illustrations within that she drew, and sometimes painted, herself.

Sometimes she’d give a painting or drawing to The Boss as a gift, and The Boss would be a bit confused. Was she-- was she selling this to her? Of course, she didn’t have a single problem with buying anything from Peony. Heck, she even paid almost double for anything she bought from her in a silent way of saying thanks.

“No, silly, I’m giving it to you!” Peony giggled in that lovely, appreciative, light-hearted way, and continued on, “I thought you might like it, since I noticed you were taking a shine to Oreo.”

“Really-?” The Boss asked. 

She couldn’t believe it, and couldn’t help but smile as she admired the warm painting of a black and white chicken. She was going to hang it in her home, no doubt.

“Wow, I,” She chuckled a bit, giving the painting another look and smoothing out her whiskers before admitting, “I didn’t know it was that obvious..”

“Of course it was! You think I wouldn’t know by the look on your face when that little rascal jumped onto your lap?” 

“Okay, you got a point there. Still, I can’t just take this for /free/-”

“Of course you can! Go on, it’s about time you get something without anybody expecting anything in return.”

[exxar1]

Episode 4: Waking Up

11/14/2020

Good morning, folks. As I write this, I’m sitting in my living room, listening to an Apple music channel of classic Christmas carols, while late morning sunshine streams through my front window. I have just finished putting laundry in the dryer and washing the few dishes in the sink that piled up during the week. My McDonald’s iced coffee is almost gone, and I’m feeling ready to face the day.

I have a couple hours before I have to start getting ready for work, so there’s not a lot of time to hammer out this blog entry. I don’t have a lot to say for this episode, but I have been feeling somewhat strange for the last couple weeks. Not ‘strange’ in the physical sense, but ‘strange’ as in ‘there’s something happening with me that I can’t quite explain’.

And now I’m going to try to explain what I’m talking about.

Per my usual work routine, I spend 5 ½ hours every morning, Monday through Friday, in the lobby of Walmart, greeting customers and making sure everyone is wearing their face mask. And, as usual, I have nothing but my own thoughts and the occasional conversation with co-workers to keep me company. But mostly just my own thoughts. And boy, my brain lately will just not shut down – or even go into standby mode. It seems that all I can do lately is just think, think, think. Here’s a sample of what tumbles through my head from morning until night every day:

·      Is the ballot recounts for the national election close to being done? Will Trump retain his presidency (I hope), or will America finally get its first female president? (Yes, you read that correctly.)

·      Spencer Klavan of the “Young Heretics” podcast so damn good looking, and the fact that he’s also a “Super Mario Bros” fan in addition to being ivy league educated and possessing near-savant level human intelligence has forced me to finally admit that I have had a massive crush on him for almost four months now. (I just wish he wasn’t such an avid gym rat. That’s such a turnoff. Well, that, and the fact he already has a boyfriend.)

·      I need to start working on the story ideas that came to me a few weeks ago. There’s two really good ones that I know would make excellent short stories, or, at the very least, novellas. One’s about a superhero called The Red Mask, and the other is about cats and dogs that are created with a sophisticated AI that allows them to look, feel and behave exactly like real animals but without all the maintenance and mess that pet owners have to put up with (such as feeding them, combing them, bathing them, walking them, training them, cleaning up their poop, etc.).

·      Oh! A circuit court judge in Georgia just ordered a bunch of ballots to be thrown out in that state’s recount!

·      Spencer Klavan liked one of my tweets about Young Heretics!!!!

·      Should I have McDonald’s for lunch or the apple I brought with me? The apple. Definitely the apple. Need to stay healthy.

·      I can’t believe all the idiots on social media that not only voted for Biden/Harris but actually think that he will make a good president. What the hell is wrong with them???? Anyone with half a brain can easily recognize what Trump has done for this country, and it scares the shit out of me that the radical left (capital ‘R’, capital ‘L’) just might get their foot in the door of the White House. What the fuck is wrong with half of America right now??? It’s all that “white fragility”, “systemic racism”, “white privilege”, “black lives matter” bullshit!!! How the fuck did that horseshit gain such powerful traction in this country????Robin Deanglo and Ibram X Kendi and all their pathetic followers are so full of shit they ought to open their own manure factory!!!!

·      Yay! The 2021 “Super Mario Bros” and “Star Trek” wall calendars I ordered on Amazon have shipped! They’ll be here Tuesday!

·      And that reminds me, I need to start working on the photo calendars that I give to my family every year for Christmas. Maybe I should do that this Saturday morning before my shift at Check City.

·      Oh. Time for my break. Yay! Coffee!

And…repeat. That. All of that. Over and over all day long – creative story thoughts, political thoughts, work thoughts, checking my phone three times an hour to review the latest posts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to stay on top of all the latest news and current events that serve to fuel my new woke self. Texting friends and family about this and that. On and on and on...

Hhmmm. My new woke self.

The other day, as this new thought occurred to me, I mentally reviewed everything that’s happened to me this year, everything that I wrote about in that first blog episode. I also thought about my recent self-examination of my whole life up to this point, the stuff I covered in episodes 2 and 3 of this blog. Then I thought back over the last two weeks: the sudden and unexpected passing of Aaron; his memorial service that I made an emergency trip home to Idaho to attend; and, finally, this new, strange…’wokeness’, for lack of a better term, that I now find myself in.

I honestly don’t know how to precisely describe it. I’ve been trying all this week to come up with apt, specific words and/or phrases, and then, finally, I thought of something. I’m a huge fan of the reboot of “Battlestar: Galactica” that was done by Ronald D Moore on the SyFy channel in 2004. It’s been a few years since I last binged all 4 seasons of that terrific show, but I was thinking about it the other day as my mind wandered, and it suddenly occurred to me what this new ‘woke’ state that I’m in feels like: the Cylon sleeper agents (who looked and acted like real humans) that were suddenly awakened to their true nature.

Yeah, I’m not kidding. Yes, I know how that sounds, but let me explain. I really feel like that, somewhere deep in the core of my brain, a metaphorical ‘switch’ was flipped from ‘off’ to ‘on’ along about late August or early September of this year. The world around me did not change, but my perception of it – as well as my perception of my place in it – did fundamentally change. I realized this week that for pretty much all my life I’ve been coasting through it. Everything that I’ve done and accomplished took no real effort or sacrifice on my part. Everything after high school pretty much just happened naturally. I decided to join the Army on a whim. When that didn’t work out, I came back home and enrolled in college. I spent 4 ½ years doing what I loved – reading, writing, discussing reading and writing – and I came out with a Bachelor’s in English. Again, no real effort. I coasted through on my natural talents. The only real work was in the core classes that I needed for my degree, like math or biology. But those were few. And then, after college, instead of putting my degree to use, I just settled for a day job in retail and then, later, in an elementary school. And then, in 2012, on a whim, I quit my job and moved to Las Vegas. Once again, I found a cushy day job where I make really good money, and…then 2020 happened.

In other words, I’ve never been an active participant in my own life. I just kinda let everything happen and went with the flow. I even had this same attitude in high school and it drove my parents and teachers absolutely mad. I didn’t care about being valedictorian or captain of the sports teams or even being the best damn piano player this side of the Rockies. All that mattered was hanging out with my friends and making sure the VCR was set each week to record the newest episodes of “Star Trek: DS9” and “Star Trek: Voyager”. And, without consciously realizing it, that’s been my attitude for my whole damn life. I’ve never cared about the world beyond my own front door. If it didn’t affect my life directly, I never paid it any attention. That’s especially true for politics. No matter who sat in the White House, my life never changed. So I figured, why bother? I’m perfectly content to live a quiet, solitary existence, and the rest of the world can do its own thing.

Except that now I’m no longer content with my quiet, solitary existence. Something within me fundamentally changed this year, and there’s no going back.

I am awake. (But, unlike the Cylons, I’m not about to start murdering humans.) I’m certain that it was God’s hand that reached down to flip that invisible switch in my brain, but now that I have rejected my former sleeper state, I don’t know exactly what to do. For the last couple weeks, I have felt nervous; anxious; excited; jittery; like a live wire that’s been cut and is now flopping on the ground, shooting sparks and energy. I have to constantly resist the urge to grab total strangers off the street and shout at them to “Wake up!” The world around us is changing, and we can’t live as sleeper agents in our own lives. Everything that’s happened in 2020 is going to shape the future of this country and the lives of everyone in it, and no one can afford to not care and just keep living their quiet, solitary lives.

This is why I scream on social media about the stupid mask mandates, and the ‘lamestream’ media, and politics, and everything else that I’ve been ranting and raving about for nine months. And yes, I’m sure some of my friends think I’ve gone crazy, and more than a few have probably unfollowed me. I don’t mean to alienate folks, but I have to put this energy somewhere or I’ll go crazy.

One of biggest changes that I have noted is that I no longer have a desire to park in front of the TV in my time off. I still have a few regular shows that I watch each week, but my passion has turned to reading and podcasts. I renewed my Audible.com membership a few months ago, and I have started stockpiling audiobooks on various subjects: biographies of the Founding Fathers of America, non-fiction books on artificial intelligence and other new forms of technology, books on world history, western literature and Greek philosophy. (I recently began listening to a series of lectures from Boston University on Plato’s “Republic”). And, of course, the highlight of my week is a new episode of “Young Heretics” every Tuesday. (And no, it’s not just because of my crush on Spencer Klavan.) I also have started carving out an hour here and there each day to grab my laptop and write a few paragraphs of new stories or just jot notes for upcoming stories.

I really, honestly feel as if something is coming. I don’t know what, I don’t know when, but God woke me up for a reason. He’s got something planned for me, and I need to be ready for it. I’m pretty certain the world is not coming to an end anytime soon, and I’m sure 2021 will be a better year for our nation than 2020, no matter who’s sitting in the White House. And yes, Lord willing, this stupid “pandemic” will also be over sometime soon. For me, personally, 2020 was the year that changed me and got me ready for whatever is coming. A fire’s been lit under my ass, but I’m not sure where yet where I’m supposed to be jumping up and running to.

I am sure, however, that It’s time to be an active participant in my own life.

Hey mom and dad, I really do care now, and I really, truly want to do my best. I want only top grades and to be the captain of…something. It only took twenty-six? Twenty-seven years? But now I’m going to be that grade-A student that you and Mrs. Tutty and Mrs. Jones and Mr. Walker always knew I could be.

Better late than never, eh?