#and quite frankly it makes me feel stupid when i fall into something and people are like “yea this is actually well known and documented”

[snapbackslide]

Hello! I saw your post in #online scam about someone by the name of craftpatch1 saying they want to use your work for inspiration. This is a known scam known as the 'muse scam' that I covered on @scam-alerts! Anyone offering you money to use photos or works as 'inspiration' offering you a cheque or asking you for your paypal is 100% trying to scam you. If you'd like to read more about this scam, here's the post: https://www.tumblr.com/scam-alerts/767337113218940928 take care!

thank you, i appreciate it

[fairestwriting]

Hi! Hope you're doing well! I love your writing, I got so excited when I saw you're rqs were open!!!

Could i request dorm leaders w/reader who sang a break-up song while they're dating w/a happy ending? not for a performance or anything, just listening to music and singing along and a mob character passing by heard it. then suddenly there's rumors around the school saying their relationship is falling apart. the reader doesn't know. the boys don't realize that it a big misunderstanding and think that the reader might not be happy with their relationship and they desperately try to make it up to the reader.

Kind of like this one including malleus and azul https://www.tumblr.com/coralinnii/697097733985730560/singing-a-break-up-song-while-dating-feat

sry for rambling, i really love the way you write the characters, if it's too much, don't worry about! thank you!

fjfejf thank you i hope you enjoy your rq too <3 this one takes me back…. throwback sunday

(Also happy (late) valentines day everybody! i wanted to post that that on time for it but it got. so long

𐙚 Riddle Rosehearts

Ironically, you might have even shown him that song before. Riddle is pretty out of the loop, so he’s always curious about what you’re listening to. He never thought that your enjoyment of the song had anything to do with your relationship. It’s just a song, right? And at first, he thinks the exact same when the rumor arrives at him through Cater, chastising him for spreading such baseless claims.

…But it doesn’t take too long for it to get to him. And wasn’t that one of your most listened songs too? He can never remember the titles very well. His uncertainty feeds on the words of others until they make complete sense to him. If you were really happy, why would you be so obsessed with that specific song, after all? Riddle starts to pick apart his own actions, trying to find what could have made you so unhappy… And the truth is, everything is not only going well, but he probably mixed up the song from the rumor with an unrelated song you’re actually obsessed with. His entire issue is built around an impression that you’ve been secretly wallowing all this time, all due to some awful thing he’s supposedly done— Without even noticing how much he hurt you, no less.

Suddenly, when you spend time together, he’s awkwardly asking if you’re really sure that this or that is really okay, like he did when you just started dating. You ask him what’s wrong, and he quickly, awkwardly, blurts out that he heard the rumors, and he was trying to make up for his actions… And you’re just standing there, confused.

Luckily, Riddle has just enough common sense that saying his worries out loud makes him realize how frankly insane he sounds. And when he hears that he was, in fact, thinking of the wrong song, his whole face is as red as his hair. You might have to hold back some laughter as you comfort him… Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, it does feel sweet that he’s so eager to make you happy. Even if it means having to fix a huge problem he doesn’t quite understand.

𐙚 Leona Kingscholar

There’s probably no shortage of rumors about your relationship. Good ones, bad ones, and a good few that were just weird— Leona says with his full chest that he thinks they’re all a waste of time, that it was just people being bored, or jealous, or both. He does wholly believe his own words. He also remembers every single thing he hears about you two.

Similar to Riddle, his initial reaction is that the rumor is just stupid. You listening to a song meant that you wanted to break up with him? Really? People must be running out of things to say, if they’re fixating on something so meaningless… And yet, he can’t keep himself from getting the urge to watch you more closely when you’re together.

Leona will die before he actually admits this rumor ever got to him, really. Even the people he overheard talking about it said it kind of seemed like a reach. He’s not about to start a conversation about it, or even openly express that some stupid bit of gossip had him so worried— But he still feels the need to watch. Do you get bored when you’re just sitting nearby while he’s supposedly sleeping? Do you look uncomfortable when he comes closer? Questions like that come up in his mind.

The answer, of course, is that you don’t. And that’s the end of it… or at least he wants to believe that. The rumor won’t come up unless you mention it, he just randomly comes off just a little softer than usual. It’d be hard for anyone to make the connection, surely Leona wouldn’t get that affected by something so silly, he said it was stupid himself. And yet, it’s still hard to miss how he visibly relaxes when you confirm that’s how you thought.

𐙚 Azul Ashengrotto

There’s all sorts of rumors going around about Azul himself, but they’re mostly just long debates on whether it’s worth getting involved with his deals or not. That’s easy enough to ignore when he has people coming in and out of the Lounge everyday. People who complain were just mad about the consequences they faced due to not reading the fineprint and all that.

This self awareness doesn’t help that much when the rumor comes to his attention, though. He’ll comment about how childish the people gossiping about you were to whoever tells him the news, but his words are hollow. Logic is already in the process of leaving his brain, entirely skipping over how ridiculous the whole thing was. It’s sudden enough to hit him with every mistake he might have made like a truck. The office door is slammed shut and locked so he go insane in peace. The thought of rumors themselves are what stands out the most. That had to be what drove you over the edge, right? Someone must have told you terrible things about him, and now you were miserable and confused and— And then he’s calling you, urgently asking for you to give him a chance to explain himself.

The whole “song” part of the rumor might as well not exist anymore. You ask him what this was all about, and he’s going on and on about how he swears whatever you heard about him wasn’t actually that bad and how he’s sorry that you’re getting caught up in all of this mess. You have no idea what it’s all about. It takes a bit of a back and forth for him to realize this. Then he’s just silent. And on instinct, as the realization hits him, he just hangs up, mortified.

You leave to go see him in person, worried or confused or amused or all of the above. You knock on his door, asking him what was up, what rumors he was talking about, he’s too embarrassed to answer for a bit. When he finally does, he looks at you so guiltily, you might even expect he’s about to make a serious confession— It does take a little effort not to giggle when he actually explains it. Insists to get you two some fancy dinner afterwards to make up for the “trouble”, no matter how much you insist you’re glad that it was just a misunderstanding.

𐙚 Kalim Al-Asim

Surprisingly, or maybe not, Kalim is actually quite used to people gossiping about him too. It doesn’t mean he’s the best at handling it, but even before deciding to work on becoming a more capable person, he was already a couple steps ahead from quite a few other people. Even compared to the other dorm leaders — or maybe, especially compared to them — he usually doesn’t have a very hard time ignoring what others say about him.

The first time he hears the rumor, it’s from a few Scarabia students whispering to each other in the corners of the dorm lounge. His first concern is calling out how rude it is to spread rumors about other people, and while he doesn’t have much of an aura of authority, people like him too much to not back off. He thought that was the end of it, and was almost succesful at fully ignoring the rumor, but he’s unlucky enough a particularly nasty someone catches on that it did bother him, despite it technically not showing on the outside.

And then it’s not just a problem, but a long running one. Because he doesn’t want to listen to people saying all those mean things about you! You’re always happy when you’re around him, there’s no way you’d be secretly holding a grudge over… what, really? You two don’t even fight! …That’s the sort of thing he’ll be telling himself, as time passes, and without him even fully processing the building anxiety, you start to wake up to… random gifts from your boyfriend, piled up at the door of your dorm room. How long had it been since you forgot about the song, when you reach the point of deciding to ask him what this was all about? Who knows. The gifts didn’t feel that odd at first, he just does that sometimes, but you were starting to run out of space, and Kalim was starting to act weird around you. So you bring it up… And he actually bursts into tears.

Poor guy, honestly. He’s a mess, saying he’s sorry, he didn’t know what else to do to make your not want to break up with him, all that. He’s saying he’ll let you go if that’s what you truly want when you interrupt him and ask what he’s even talking about, and he tearfully mentions he heard those rumors— That at this point might have even died down. You have to assure him it’s all just rumors for a while, and he tears up again, this time out of happiness. He’s not even going to think about how crazy it was that he got so deep into something that had no depth at all. He’s just too glad that you’re not upset.

𐙚 Vil Schoenheit

Vil’s initial reaction mostly depends on what sort of day he’s had. It’s harder to not overthink things when he’s already stressed — Not that he believes it in any case, it’s just unpleasant to hear either way. The whole thing sounds, frankly, just too shallow to truly hit him. How could anyone claim to know how you were feeling just because you liked this one specific song? How could they even confirm you actually liked that song at all, really… But people still talk about it, and that’s how it sticks to his thoughts.

He’s already dismissed the rumor itself, the question is whether it really came up out of nowhere or not. Maybe someone had noticed you were looking down, or you confided in a friend about relationship issues, and that’s what’s really behind all those flashy claims about the song — The idea makes him anxious. You two usually just talk it out if there’s an issue, so what could have happened? You’re caught off guard when he asks you out for lunch, just the two of you, right in the middle of the week because it’s the only time slot he has available.

You think maybe he just felt like doing something nice but still easygoing. So it definitely feels strange when he starts to speak up about how he’s aware he’s not perfect, but he’s willing to work on anything that might bother you, you realize he looks oddly serious for the situation—

You blink, telling him you knew that, but everything was fine. If anything was wrong, you would’ve just talked to him, like you always do. He stops on his tracks, suddenly feeling kind of silly. If it was anyone else, maybe he’d question if you really meant that, but you say it so easily it couldn’t not be the truth— Then you ask him if something is wrong, and he does his very best efforts to circumvent the topic, something about being told you were unhappy… You recall a friend bringing up the rumor to you, before that, and it feels hard to believe something so silly would get to him. It turns out to be a nice date anyway, though. Maybe something you could do more often?

𐙚 Idia Shroud

Honestly, even before he registers that all of this is over you enjoying a song, his brain is already going haywire. When it does hit that this was all over a song, though, he stops, and not because it’s all over a song. But instead because the gossip itself implied that you weren’t listening to it while wallowing by yourself— Then, right after, he wonders if that means things were even worse than they seemed. Did people know because you were telling your friends about it or something? The questions keep coming up, the logic getting more and more complicated inside his head…

Would it be better to check up on you? Straightforwardly ask if anything is wrong? There’s no way he could just do that, what would he do if it all turned out to be right, if you’ve been silently despising him this whole time? In the end, you don’t hear from Idia that day at all. Then Ortho calls you out of concer, not knowing what’s happening beyond the fact his brother is losing his mind. You can even hear him in the background, telling him to hang up.

…And after a day without any texts, and a call from Ortho that sounded like Idia might as well have been stabbed in his room, you rush over to his dorm. You hurry to check up on him, expecting something bad, and he’s actually shocked you’re worried about him. That you don’t outright hate him. Hearing that, you’re understandably confused.

Your reaction brings him back to reality a bit, prompting him to ask if he’s done anything wrong. You ask him what made him think that. He mentions something about a song. Music, of course, is the furthest thing from your mind right now, so you ask him which song— It soon becomes clear there’s been an insane misunderstanding. After relief hits, it’s a little awkward, and he’s apologizing for how crazy he must have looked. You’re just glad your boyfriend didn’t get jumped or anything like that. Details can be discussed later.

𐙚 Malleus Draconia

Malleus takes it all pretty seriously. You probably showed him the song yourself, since he gets curious about the music you like, and it did stand out to him that it’s breakup music— But he doesn’t consider that, by itself, a reason to worry. He’ll always believe your word over others, which is why it’s so confusing to him to hear that you were supposedly unhappy. And people were considering your taste in music as proof on top of it all? Would that mean that showing him the song was some sort of indirect message, then…?

It doesn’t feel in character for you, he thinks, but he doesn’t want to risk it. He does consider doing something to make up for his supposed mistakes, but since the topic of breaking up is on the table, he decides nothing could really be enough. And you were really so upset you were about to give up on him, he doesn’t know what he could do to make you feel better. In the end, he just decided to ask — right at the very next time he sees you, before saying anything else — why you wanted to break up with him.

”What”,you echo, and for a moment he wonders if you were really so resentful you were making fun of him, but that definitely doesn’t sound like something you’d do. He explains he heard people talk about it, saying he wanted to “hear your thoughts on the matter before believing anyone else”, that he was hoping to solve whatever the problem was. He’s so serious it stuns you, you tell him there aren’t any problems.

That confuses him. What did you mean when you showed him the song, then? Nothing, it turns out. You just liked the music. His worries dissipate soon after that, if you say it was all well, of course he’ll believe you. He does remind you to tell him if it’s not, because he doesn’t want that imagined scenario to become true at all, but he’s ready to just (very) gratefully set it all aside. Simple as that. Won’t get it if you seem to find the situation amusing, but won’t stop you from finding humor in it either.

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[fairyofsilence]

BEHIND HIS LENSE | 2/7 | TTIB SERIES | PREVIEW

Pairing: Photographer!Taehyung x PersonalAssistant!Reader

Warnings: +18, Yandere, manipulation, drugging, EXPLICIT NONCON; cunnilingus, rough sex, victim blaming, slut shaming, blackmailing, abuse of power, coercion.

Summary: After 4 long years of working for the extravagant photographer Vante, you decide to step down from your job after catching feelings for your boss, which you're sure he will never return.

But he's determined to show you that there's only one person he will consider his muse, and it's you.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment, please proceed with caution.

Word count: 0.8 k.

Just a quick preview of what's coming :)

In three days from now, you’ll be quitting the only job you’ve ever had.

You know you’re extremely lucky to have landed such a sought-after job with absolutely no experience at all, especially when you consider who you’re working for, but you had truly underestimated just how demanding this job was, the number of errands you do in a day will send a normal person into a coma. At first, things started to pile up pretty quickly, and eventually, you learned how to keep on top of things, becoming one of the best at what you do, but recently, there’s something that no matter how hard you tried to push it aside, you can’t seem to shake it off, and if the job was hard before that, this just had officially made it unbearable.

You’re falling in love with your boss.

At first it was nothing but a simple, innocent crush, to be fair, how can anyone blame you? Taehyung is an attractive man, and his charm rapidly made your 20-year-old-self infuriated, although that crush faded quite quickly (thanks to Taehyung’s insufferable attitude the first couple of months), these past couple of months have been messing with your head, quite frankly, you think you’re going insane with the amount of overthinking you’ve been doing, but there’s things you can’t make up, especially since other people have been noticing too.

It all started with a simple comment, your best friend had planted the seed into your brain.

“Wow, since when did you get a raise?” Sohee’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets while she makes grabby hands at your new bag, you hand it out to her, and she touches it like it’s made of glass “How in the hell did you afford a brand-new Flamenco bag? I thought you said you were saving up for a new apartment!” Her tone is so high that you needed a second to digest what she just said, which leaves you more confused than you already are.

“What are you even talking about? If you think I bought this bag than I’ll have to reconsider all these years of friendship” You tried to joke around but Sohee doesn’t seem to be taking this lightly.

“How the hell did you get a 4-thousand-dollars bag then? You didn’t tell me you had a sugar daddy!” You almost faint when hearing the actual price of your new bag, but before she can say anything even more stupid, you quickly try to cover her mouth, but she swats your hand easily.

“Can you stop? I didn’t know it was this expensive!” She raises one of her brows at you and you feel the need to explain yourself “I don’t have a sugar daddy dumbass; Taehyung gave it to me the other day after a photoshoot” Sohee’s mouth opens so wide you have to restrain yourself to not laugh and cause an even bigger scene at the company’s cafeteria.

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking him or something?” You gave Sohee a nasty look that she couldn’t care less about “I think the nicest thing Namjoon has ever done for me is saying ‘Please’ or ‘Thank you’, and he doesn’t even do that often, how the hell did you get your boss to give you a damn designer bag?” Her fixation over a bag is starting to get in your nerves, so you try to explain the situation to her.

“It was during a photoshoot like three days ago, he shot the new Loewe campaign and during a break I said that the color of this bag is very pretty, he asked if I liked the bag and I said yes because it was the biggest one where I could definitely fit everything I needed on it, he just nodded and by the end of the shoot he came to me with the bag on his hand telling me it was for me, I asked him why would he gave it to me and he just said ‘It matches your blouse’, kind of dumb if you ask me” Sohee was truly in a state of shock by the end of you explanation, and you didn’t know what to even say to her about that.

She’s speechless for a few seconds before she looks at you with an accusing stare.

“Wait a second, didn’t you tell me once that he made you send the girls he fucks a designer bag when he’s trying to fuck them?” Her eyebrows are almost reaching her hairline, and you don’t even know how to defend yourself because that was true.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything-” Sohee shuts you up with a single look, and you are forced to face the reality.

“Y/N, wake up, that man wants something from you, and it’s not anything casual if he’s giving you these types of gifts, we’ll let it slide this time” You scoff at her ‘we’ but she ignores you, “But if this keeps happening, you have two options, tell him to back off, or” Her tone was starting to piss you off, and you didn’t know if it was because she was being truly annoying, or because deep down you knew that she was right, “you can get more out of him, not just a designer bag”.

[ssparksflyy]

what's he got that i don't? 𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧₊˚

pairing percy jackson x fem!reader summary based off this request!! an i actually love this request sm 😋 in jealous percy we trust

PERCY sighed dramatically as he plopped himself down on his bed, scooting up to put his head in your lap. he'd just gotten back from a meeting with chiron about helping out with teaching new campers how to handle swords and was quite frankly, exhausted. he'd spent his whole day running around, going from lesson to lesson, already helping out with all sorts of things. he hadn't seen you since breakfast and desperately needed to feel you close after his hectic day. walking into his cabin to see you sitting in his bed reading made him feel like maybe the gods didn't hate him and they knew how to answer his prayers after all.

"long day?" you asked, moving one of your hands down to his hair and ran your fingers through it while the other continued to hold up your book.

"mhm" he hummed in response.

"what'd you do?" you followed up.

"teach, teach some more, help out, then go teach again" he said, "i didn't even ask to be a teacher."

"you didn't ask for a lot of things, just another thing to add to the list babe. im sure the kids who need help greatly appreciate you and your teaching"

"i guess"

you sat in silence for a minute, continuing to play with percy's hair and read. he would've been fine staying like that and maybe even wouldve ended up falling asleep in your lap, but he had hardly spent any time with you today. he wanted to talk to you more and kiss your lips and hug you, but your nose was stuck in that stupid book he didn't even understand.

"whatcha reading?" he asked and lifted his head up, moving it to rest his chin on your stomach.

"the hunger games" you replied.

he mumbled a quick 'okay' and kept his head on your stomach, looking up at you and watching as you read.

as much as percy loved quiet moments like this, it was the opposite of what he wanted. he knew you enjoyed reading, and now was one of the few opportunities you got to read in peace, but he hadn't seen you in hours and (even though he wouldnt admit it) was in desperate need for your attention. when he saw you smile at something in your book, he decided to try for a conversation again.

"whatcha smilin' at?"

you looked away from your book, "nothin. just this guy."

he got up and furrowed his brow, "what guy?"

"he's not real, percy."

"don't matter, what guy is making my girl smile like that?"

you rolled your eyes, "a guy made of ink and imaginations. that's who."

"lemme see" he said, holding out his hand for you to hand him the book.

you handed him the book and watched as he squinted his eyes, trying to read it.

"i can't read."

"i know."

"what's it say?"

he handed you the book back, ""i don’t think it’s going to work out. winning . . . won’t help in my case," says peeta. "why ever not?" says caesar, mystified. peeta blushes beet red and stammers out. "because . . .because . . . she came here with me.""

percy pauses for a second. "you were smiling at that? what does it even mean?"

"see! you dont get it, it's nothing." you said, trying to brush it off.

"mmm i think its something" he said. he already had your attention away from reading your book, now it was just a matter of keeping it up.

"you wanna know? fine." you huffed, "im smiling because i remember when i read this for the first time and i was freaking out because katniss and peeta hardly even talk in this part of the book, and he just reveals that he's got a crush on her, but you don't know that he's actually faking it - but at the same time he's not - because it's set in katniss' perspective, so you're left all 'what was that?! what does he mean!!!' and it becomes something that peeta does again later cause he's smart and knows what cards to play in order for people to like him!!"

he looked at you in surprise, "oh- wow, sorry." he apologized, taking your hands in his, "so is peeta your favorite character?"

you knew you could just give him a simple yes and be over with the whole thing, but if he wanted the truth, then the truth is what he would get.

"yea, he really is. he's just the perfect guy" you said smugly, opening your book back up and pretending to start reading again.

"pfff- yea right! what happened to imaginations and ink?" he said. you could hear the slightest bit of jealousy in his voice and decided to keep going.

"doesnt take away the fact that he's perfect" you said as a mattter-of-factly.

"oh yea? well i think he's a fake nobody."

"fake nobody or not, he's still really smart, strong, an artist, a great baker, handsome in the movies-"

"josh hutcherson is not handsome."

"im gonna act like you didn't just say that." you said, realizing this was going the way you wanted it to, "but gods, did i mention how good of a boyfriend he is? i mean the way he cared for katniss?? hes literally everything a girl could ask fo-"

"hey you know im your boyfriend, not him, right?" percy asked, his tone sounding unsure and annoyed.

you stopped there and put your book down. you didn't think he'd actually be bothered by you talking about a fictional guy. he was never really the jealous type, had he actually taken it seriously?

"perce... are you.. jealous?" you asked in disbelief.

he gave you an offended look that you could tell was fake, "what?! no! course not! why would i be jealous of some fake baker dude??"

you couldnt help but laugh as he continued to try and defend himself from your 'wild' and 'indecorous' 'accusations'.

"i wasnt accusing you of anything! just asking!!" you said through your fit of giggles.

"yea you were! i feel very attacked right now, i though this was supposed to be a safe space!!" you only laughed more.

once you managed to get yourself to stop laughing, you moved closer to percy and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "i was just joking, you know that right?"

he mumbled a quick 'yea' while moving over to your side so he could put his arm around you and pull you into his chest. he left a kiss ontop of your head as you got comfortable in his embrace, putting your book on his nightstand.

percy had gotten his chance to talk to you, and now was able to hold you close, just like he wanted. yes it took listening to you ramble about some other (fake) guy, but who cares!! before finally closing his eyes and falling under hypnos' spell, he only had one more question about the book you were reading.

"by the way, who's finnick odair?"

"OHMYGOD, SO-"

[prettyinpink69]

♥︎The beauty beneath♥︎

Word count: 2.4K

Warnings: slightly suggestive (I'm sorry they're not fucking like cats and dogs yet 😭)

Part 1, Part 2

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who read the first part of this ❤️ I was so scared to post it as I'd only ever written small smut stuff but I received so much love it made me want to keep going 💗

Tags: @djstinkyfartz @orphicsun @never-rune @alorixy (if anyone wants to be tagged in upcoming parts let me know 🥰)

Hours seemed to pass by in a flash, mostly you drilling Sevika with questions. Humans were weird; I mean, who doesn't hunt their food? They can just go into something called a 'shop' and buy it? "Yes, peach, we go into the shop and pick out what food we want to eat, and then we buy it, which is why we work so we can afford it," Sevika said in response to your completely dumbfounded expression. It was entertaining at first, seeing you all confused. But the longer Sevika looked at your furrowed brows and the way your lips slightly pouted when you were confused, she couldn't help but feel an intense fluttering in her stomach. No. She couldn't—she shouldn't feel this way. She was a tough woman; she doesn't fall in love.

"But then how do you know what you're buying is trustworthy if someone else made it? That's just stupid," was your response. You held the edge of the building, propping your arms up to get a better look at Sevika, unbeknownst to her. (Or so you thought. Sevika noticed the way you continued to get closer and closer as the minutes passed.) "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it peach, we just do things differently. That's what makes it interesting, hm?" That earned a huff from you, but in the end, you decided to drop it. Your eyes met; each time they did, it felt like the world stopped. Her grey eyes bored into yours with an intensity you'd never felt before. Your grip on the building grew stronger; the cold metal beneath your fingertips was numbing, but it didn't matter. Not when she was here and in front of you. Silent words were spoken, an understanding of feelings. Shared feelings, but what exactly was it? Interest? Love? Fascination? You didn't really want to think about it, yet it was all you could think about.

God, those eyes... Sevika held eye contact, something she usually despised. She always thought it felt like people could see straight into your soul, and yet here she was, staring into your eyes that felt like they drew you in, hypnotic almost. Vulnerable, that's what Sevika felt, and she hated it. The usually cold, stoic, and quite frankly emotionless woman she was, was nowhere to be seen tonight. She wanted you to see her; she wanted to tell you her deepest secrets and dreams, and all it took was looking into your eyes. Eventually, she blinked a couple of times and looked out into the expanse of blue. "So, peach, you gonna show me your tail, or have I gotta ask?" Sevika questioned, with what seemed to be her signature smirk on her lips.

God, that fucking smirk, it was lethal. You were convinced it could make your heart stop beating. With a smile, you pushed off the building and lay on your back, wading in the water with your arms, and raised your tail to the surface. The peachy-toned scales on your tail were a darker peach, like biting into a peach, almost orange. Your caudal fin and pectoral fins were a lighter peach, with a pink tone to it. But the whole tail shimmered and glittered under the moonlight like a diamond in the rough. Your eyes trailed over Sevika's face; the smirk that was there had significantly softened into a smile, a beautiful one at that. Her little gap between her two front teeth became visible and fuck if you didn't think she was stunning enough already? That only solidified the feelings you had for her.

"Do... you like it? Or do I just look like a fish? Because I mean... well, I am half fish. Technically, but also not really," you questioned, with some doubt laced in your tone. What if it freaked her out and put her off? You somehow deep down knew she wouldn't betray you and turn you into some sort of science experiment but how could you be 100% sure? Sevika took some time to trail her eyes up from your tail to your eyes, but once she did and saw the fear in your eyes, she responded immediately. "Peach... peach, you're... absolutely stunning. I've never, I've never seen anything quite like it..." The sincerity in her voice was certain, it left no room for doubt in your mind. She wasn't lying; you believed you were the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. You swam back to the edge of the research center and rested your arms on the edge, with your chin resting on your arms. "Thank you... I've never really spoken to a human, but I definitely think I got lucky." You graced her with a smile, dimples poking agaisnt your cheeks and that's when Sevika knew she was completely and utterly fucked...

Over the next few weeks, it became routine; every night, you'd wait at the surface of the center for Sevika, and you'd sit and chat for hours. To respect your species and, well... you, Sevika had chosen not to tell anyone about you. Secretly she was already possessive of you, she had found you. You were hers.. her discovery of course... she didn't want to share you with anyone else. Especially not her shitty male co-workers who would have no respect for you and couldn't possibly appreciate your beauty the way she did. Yes, the expedition was to find mermaids, but now she had solace in the fact that they were real; she didn't feel the need to expose your kind. She cared about you too much to betray you like that. Sevika knew if she had said anything, you'd become some sort of science experiment, which she didn't want.

Learning about how each other lived was fascinating. Over the past couple of days, you had heard Sevika complain about how the fresh food delivery they were supposed to have delivered had been held up, meaning she was currently living off of processed food. Living in the middle of the ocean when your originally from land definitely had it's disadvantages. You had taken the liberty of catching a fresh tuna for Sevika; you placed it on the edge of the center as you waited for her to arrive. A few minutes later, her large, unmistakable silhouette appeared from the door.

"Peach? You out here?" Unwillingly, your tail flipped in excitement, the thrash of water catching Sevika's attention. Your eyes met, and a smile tugged at your cheeks. "I'm right here! I got you something." You held up the tuna fish and wiggled it around in the air. "What's that, peach, hm? A present for me already?" She smirked and walked over, sitting by the edge like she does every night. "You said you didn't have any fresh food, so I caught you a fish."

Sevika's amused expression immediately softened. This girl was about to ruin all of Sevika's rules she put in place for herself. Love was dangerous; it makes you do stupid things. Yet, Sevika was ready to burn the world down for you. "That's... that's really sweet of you, peach... thank you." Her large hands wrapped around the tuna fish, and she placed it aside to cook later, which earned a confused look from you. "What is it, peach? You okay in there?" Sevika lightly splashed some water at you.

"You're not going to eat it? I thought you'd be happy to have something fresh." A slight pout formed on your lips. Did she not like tuna fish? Did she even like any kind of fish? You were so excited to get her something you hadn't thought about it. "It's great, peach. I'm gonna cook and enjoy it later, okay?" You nodded, accepting her reasoning; maybe she just didn't want it raw like you usually ate it. After all, you didn't exactly have fire in the middle of the ocean. You forced the thought out of your mind and focused on Sevika, her two large hands wrapped around yours. "Do you ever... wish you could see what I see? Like down here in the ocean?"

Her grey eyes looked down at you, trailing over your tail before meeting your eyes again. She sighed before responding, "I do, but that's not possible, peach. We don't have the technology to see the world the way you do." A long silence hung in the air before you responded. "You have scuba gear though, right? I've seen some humans swimming in the sea with those weird things on their face..." That earned a chuckle from Sevika; her shoulders shook with amusement. "Yeah, we have some equipment. I guess I could come for a quick swim." You didn't respond other than eagerly pushing her away to go and get the gear. Water splashed as your tail flipped in excitement.

With intertwined hands, the two of you glided under the water. Small bubbles escaped the top of Sevika's mask; she'd never seen anything like it. The deep abyss of blue surrounded the two as they easily moved through the water. There were so many amazing, unique things to see, but the only thing that caught Sevika's eye was you. It was always you. No matter what was around her, if you were there, that's where her eyes laid. The way your hair flowed in the water behind you as your tail propelled you forward, the way you smiled and showed your pearly white teeth every time you turned your head to look at her. The way you easily spun upside down and back upright through the water playfully, like it was easy... how could she deny that she was falling for you?

In turn, you were fascinated by the way her legs ferociously kicked behind her to keep up with you. How she held a hand on your waist to keep you close, protective so she didn't lose sight of you. It made your tummy flutter, a whole lepidopterarium of butterflies in your stomach. You didn't fail to notice how more bubbles escaped her mask when you looked at Sevika, her breathing picking up when your eyes met. She was really the most beautiful woman you had laid your eyes upon.

You two had swam and swam around until Sevika's oxygen tank was empty. She placed her mask on the edge of the center and took her tank off but remained beside you in the water. Sevika's hands moved almost automatically and found home on your waist, just above where your flesh met your tail. "It's beautiful, peach... absolutely stunning..." You had assumed she was talking about the swim, the ocean, and everything uniquely beautiful below the surface. But when her grey orbs remained firmly on your face, you knew that wasn't what she was talking about...

"It... it is really beautiful down there," you responded in regards to the ocean, hoping she might double down and confirm she was talking about you and not the vast ocean surrounding you. "I'm not talking about the ocean, peach; I'm talking about you. I can't... I can't be here with you and not tell you how absolutely captivating you are. I physically can't tear my eyes away from you; what are you doing to me?.." Sevika was honest, raw... and quite frankly, it was the most terrifying thing she had ever done. But the overwhelming need to be near you... to claim you as hers and only hers was overpowering any common sense she had left.

"I-.. I don't know, but what I do know is that I really, really like you... and that's not just because you're the first human I've spoken to, but because you're also really, really beautiful, and I hope... I hope we can keep doing this..." There was a hint of hope in your voice as you wrapped your arms around her neck. Moonlight bathed over you both as the night went on. What didn't go unnoticed was the way Sevika's eyes couldn't stop flicking between your eyes and lips. Her actions caused you to mirror hers; only now, you were openly staring at her lips. How the right-hand side of her Cupid's bow sat just higher than the left, a small but noticeable scar on her bottom lip, the chocolatey brown color of her lips looking divine. Your own bottom lip had found home between your teeth, you only realized when her lips curved into a smirk and your eyes finally moved back up to her eyes. "See something you like, peach?" The nod of your head was almost unstoppable. Your head moved before your mouth could quickly mutter a quiet "yes..."

At the nod of your head, Sevika took the opening; her hand found the back of your neck, and before you could respond, her lips were on yours. The water around you long forgotten, your lips instinctively moving against hers. Teeth and tongues clashing together in a perfectly messy rhythm, the kiss was wet, messy, but it didn't matter, not with how desperate you were to taste her, taste more of her. Sevika broke the kiss only to trail her lips and teeth over you jaw, the warmth of her breath causing shivers down your spine to your tail. A soft gasp fell from your puffy lips and her teeth sank into the soft, tender flesh of your neck. The feeling of your skin being pulled and sucked between her teeth was almost too much and Sevika had barley touched you, a soft moan escaped you as your arms tightened around her shoulders. You didn't need to look, you could feel her smirk agaisnt the heated, red skin of your neck.

Your tail instinctively forced its way between Sevika's legs, as soon as you did you felt her legs wrap around and the muscles squeeze together. A small whine left your throat as Sevika pulled back from your neck, "Peach... how- how do I make you feel good? I'm more than experienced with human anatomy but... fuck I don't know how and it's frustrating" Your slender fingers ran through her hair to calm her as you felt her hands tighten in frustrationon your waist, unfortunately you didn't exactly reproduce the same way meaning... sex was off the cards. Impossible. "We... we dont have intercourse like you do... I dont know Sevi..." That day day Sevika made a promise to herself and you- in her own head of course. That she would find a way to make you feel good, wether it be finding a way to turn you human of make some magnificent scientific discovery. She would do it, she had to. For you.

[nerdlordofnerds]

Alright now here is gonna be my long post about Maomao and Jinshi and stuff. It's mostly just a massive longwinded ramble about what I love about them when compared to each other and how the story goes. I'll let you know when a part of it is getting to spoilers from the Light Novel and stuff

K hi there so:

MAOMAO.

The legend herself who does not want to be legendary but is anyway.

My first prefix of this: I love her so much because quite frankly, she is me. Emotionally repressed with incredible smarts and memory that only apply to things of direct interest without considerable effort otherwise. The biggest thing however that should be understood, she lies to herself about everything. She knows what would be troubling and avoids it if she can help it, but in her case this is a necessary survival mechanism.

We know where she grew up, treated and taught of the upper and lower classes and sexim of the society she lived, people and their services given prices and values in the eyes of those above them. She views every single interaction of her life in this transactional mindset that's further established by the brothel she grew up at, and puts herself as low as she possibly can at any time without bringing herself to danger as much as possible. She cannot clearly express her emotions, which frankly I know he's a great guy, but Luomen has some blame for that with his attempt to teach her not to speak out on guesswork and assumptions. As such she only has two modes of doing things, 100% or 0% (Or at least as close to 0 as she can manage). Clearly of course evident in her adoration of medicine and inability to control her bouts of manic excitement. This note however brings me into the other blorbo:

JINSHI

The prince imperial brother who so desperately wishes he could throw it all away.

Apothecary Diaries does a fantastic job of speaking on class inequality and leadership. Jinshi was told and taught and shown In his life that he is above everyone by those around him. Blessed with perfect looks by the heavens themselves because why wouldn't he be right? However Jinshi is not stupid. He grows up and learns many of the exact same survival and coping strategies that Maomao uses despite being complete opposites in societal class. He cannot express his desires true because his words carry so much weight. And yet the whole country would look to him as a divine being above them so he must fulfill that role as best he can. 0% or 100% in his due diligence, but different from Maomao, he does this to try and earn true respect, find his place. People all over swoon for him on his looks alone and he knows that. He sees right through their shallowness, he's not stupid. He uses it to his advantage. But at his core he cares so so much more about the people he's supposed to be above than someone in his power should, he works himself to the bone with all of his tools when he sets his mind to something when a large number of the other higher people in the show always hand off tasks to other people who excel at them more. And he does this too, it's what he was taught, but what he wants more is his own identity, his own path to work on and feel proud.

Anyways character screaming aside, let's get to the two of them across the story and how feral they make me.

Of course the beginning is what you'd expect, he finds someone whom is seemingly unfazed by all of his gifts and tactics that cause everyone to swoon and fall in line. Naturally it must go further, the teasing, the badgering, the growing curiosity. For the first time in his life, there is someone in his orbit whom has no desire to be involved with him for power or looks or anything. So he tests the grounds and learns more about her and he realizes something. Maomao is someone who steadfastly has found where she wants to be. The world is rarely so simple as that but someone just like him, who will give everything they have at what they do, and has found their calling in it. He learns about how she operates, her past, her family, and his intrigue and curiosity grow into more vibrant feelings, which ultimately causes him pain. He doesn't want to be above her. He doesn't want to hold the whole world on his shoulders. He will do what he must because he cares so much for people as a whole, but ultimately he's been carrying it so long that he wants to throw everything away. Becoming Jinshi in the rear palace, despite being another task set before him, was a huge escape for him, and now he, through learning and seeing in truth the perspective of Maomao, realizes the world is so much more than his beautiful box he's been stuffed into. But of course he knows that's selfish, he can't make her carry his burdens with him, he doesn't want her to suffer like he has. So no matter how selfish he wishes, how he wished he could pluck her up like a flower to take home, to care for and nourish forever, keep close, suffocatingly close, he ultimately knows that if he does he'll end up strangling her to death in the box with him. He's seen it in the rear palace, the strife and struggle and conflict of that life, he couldn't bear it, it wouldn't be worth the short term joy of having her as painful as it is for him.

But now let's talk Maomao on this. She sees herself as incapable of feeling love, of being anything other than selfish. Everything a transaction, every relationship for a price. Even her friend in the rear palace, she convinces herself that she's nice to her for information, to get knowledge when she needs and nothing more. So when of course she is dragged into situation after situation by her so called superior with nothing to show for it, she's frustrated and annoyed. But she can't refuse, she knows, it's the way that's been drilled into her since birth, classes and structures. Yet still when she has to get it done, she goes 100% on the task. It's survival, despite her never wanting to stand out, she has to do her best to avoid punishment. However the nature of it changes, Jinshi will tease her and play around, so she responds in kind. A transaction of sorts. It becomes familiar to her. The dragging into tasks changes into rewards, into favors, into genuine help she wants to do for others, but she will never admit it. She's just repaying her debts and doing what she's told in accordance to her own value from her perspective. Nevertheless however she convinces and lowers herself otherwise, she learned from her sisters a great deal about pride. She has so much pride built into herself that sometimes it overflows into the negative. When she cares, she cares so so much and won't stop until she's satisfied. Internally however, this backfires on her and she never realizes it. Maomao is also not an idiot, she sees Jinshis feelings and developing attachment to her. However, she cannot escape her transactional mindset, and she instantly without any thought determines "I cannot pay him back for that, I cannot give him what he wants, I need to find something else instead so I don't hurt him or myself" and continues to ignore every sign, every clue, every thing that would drag her deeper and deeper into it. This also backfires on her, to Jinshi it's like he's been starving his whole life, and she's the only food he can see, but she keeps stepping away every time he tries to get within reach. It's survival for her though, she doesn't want to be devoured, and thats exactly what she assumes is going to happen because she's seen it all before in her environment growing up. Love and hate destroying people.

This next bit is gonna have some Spoilers for the Light novels and stuff. So yall anime and manga only folks can finish reading here if you want, thanks for stopping by!

But anyways, this whole culmination explodes on its head with all the events with LN5 and LN6. The party that is politically charged with an intent to get Jinshi involved with other nobles to find him a bride. Maomao wants it to go through because she sees her self as the worst option for him, she wants someone who can give him everything. She wants him to get what he wants and needs and be happy because she cares about him albeit she won't admit it to him, they've known each other a good while at this point in the story. But of course her continuous attempt to remove herself from the path only makes him try harder, he has to go 100% when he wants something after all, and leads of course to the scene afterwards. The turning point for both of them, where he tries with everything he can and is eruption of emotion to show her that he's serious, that he will not back down no matter what. She complains continuously in her head about it too, about why does her want her? How she is convinced she cannot repay his feelings. But she responds in kind as best she can, it's a transaction, and she had learned what to do from her sisters, albeit as a sort of fallback safety mechanism in her head to avoid being vulnerable in the moment. But after that is becomes increasingly harder for her to justify to herself about how she feels towards him, and the same likewise is it hard for him to express to her in ways that she expresses to him. All in all, it's a mess that develops and buds throughout the rest of the series.

It just makes me insane, even the characters in the story know and see, if Jinshi wants her so badly (and he does), he has all of the power to just take her. Even Maomao herself expresses how it would be so much easier for him to just take her as a concubine and not have to worry any more about how she felt about it. But Jinshi won't do that, he knows how torturous that would be to Maomaos spirit and pride. So instead he will work and work himself to near death to create a situation where they can both finally be happy, which sort of unexpectedly helps Maomao sort her own feelings to, because she cannot hide how much she cares for him in making sure he rests and doesn't overwork. She convinces herself otherwise near constantly of course. But yeah, it's an incredible slow burn because the characters both try to protect the other from harm, in their own ways at least, and in doing so they protect the other from being with them because they understand they'll cause each other pain if they do it before everything is right, both internally with their own thoughts and emotions, and externally with their world and the society they live in, and it makes me so insane.

Anyway yeah, I love these dorks who love each other so much that they try to not love how they do because love is pain and they cannot bear to hurt the other on purpose like that.

[songbirdseung]

payphone / sim jaeyun

thank you for 1k! where molding back a broken heart starts with you standing at a phonebooth in a foreign country trying to figure out what the hell to do and thinking where it went wrong. pairing stranger!jake x reader genre angst at first but turns into fluff. strangers to friend, possibly lovers

usually you'd feel very claustrophobic being in a tight enclosed space and feel anxious when people look at you regardless of expression but right now you had a different task that was highly more important that your own feelings right now.

you still had two whole months being in this country whose language you don't speak, with people you don't know nor trust but you were desperate to leave behind a memory, a person. because quite frankly being in his own home country didn't help you with trying to move on due to the fact that whenever and wherever you looked, something reminded you of him and that stupid smile you love so much.

it's weird, really. why are you in a phone booth when you can easily use your phone and do much more with it than a telephone attached to a wire in a box? easy answer: your phone died.

so, here you were. in this clear glassed box surrounded by people that are giving you looks as they pass by. since your tear-stained face with never ending tears flow out along with frantic and desperate movement would cause anyone to look.

some people tried to help but gave up when they realized you didn't speak their language but gave you enough reassurance and comfort your ex could ever give.

"damn it!" you shove back the phone into its switch hook as the automated voice came through for the nth time. sighing at the realization you no longer have any loose change to use.

a stupid idea but the only idea you had left was to start softly banging your head on the glass and calling yourself stupid for even making the decision to surprise your long-distance boyfriend.

"you okay in there?" a warm soft voice with a charming aussie accent along with a knock on the glass gets your attention. turning your head to be met with worried brown eyes looking at you. clearing your throat as you wipe your tears away, "uhm..you want an honest answer?"

"that's why i asked" okay, maybe that small chuckle was too much for your just broken heart could take.

"then…no"

"can i open the door or could you get out so i could help you in any way?"

never in a million years would you blindly follow nor interact with a stranger, let alone a stranger that was a guy… but that;-'s just you being anxious and suspicious. although, for some reason, this stranger felt like a warm hug or maybe it's just your emotions going haywire and your actually out of it. either way, you made the decision to step out of the booth and sit in a cafe with this stranger.

hands down, the best decision you made this whole month because know you understand why people say a stranger can understand you way better than anyone else in your life. this man who you are sitting across from right now, he felt like a warm room after being in the cold for hours on end. he just sat there, listened to you and sometimes even offering sweet and comforting words that would reassure you that maybe not everyone and everything is horrible.

if your ex barely gave you the bare minimum, this guy was giving you beyond that. no, you weren't exactly falling for this guy just like that. you've been through too much to do that to yourself. it was just a friendly acknowledgement that this person is a gem and that you can't let it go. there was no need to polish this one, he was already too perfect.

you sat at that cafe for hours, it started off with you crying to a whole stranger to leaving the cafe with a new friend, sim jaeyun… maybe there is a reason to stay in Seoul for the two months you had left.

-

"you're telling me your douchebag of an ex tried to get back together you with?" jake gives you a look that says "you better not have said yes" which makes you laugh and nudge him

"don't look at me like that"

"just tell me you didn't get back with him, woman!" he nudges you back and steals your cup of m&m's "these are mine now, by the way" while popping one in his mouth as he waits for your answer, eyebrow raised with an attitude and all.

"of course I didn't, doofus" trying to snatch back your beloved snack but to no success.

banter and bickering with jake was now your favorite thing. it's been two days since he found you crying in a phone booth, being a lovely, kind and friendly person but now he's teasing you and play fighting with you as if you two have known each other you whole lives.

"no offense but did you really think your long-distance relationship with him would work despite his track record?" he sits down, still holding your chocolate hostage.

"i was young!" trying to defend yourself, rolling your eyes at him as you at down next to him on the picnic blanket.

"it was only a year ago" okay, who is this diva? because he's giving you a deadpan "are you for real?" look. "just admit you're stupid, yn" shaking his head as he continues to eat the candy, looking at the ducks in the river in front of them.

"i'm not stup-"

"you think ducks can eat chocolate?" you see him holding one piece of the m&m's, rolling it with his pointer and thumb. "jake, you'll kill it!" he chuckles and eat the candy "it was just a question"

it makes you scoff and chuckle at him "look who's stupid now?" soon after that question, you feel your upper body meeting the grass next to you along with jake's defensive tone.

you never had a friendship like this. all your girl friends were the loving, caring, soft type of friends who love to sugar coat and beat around the bush when it comes to comforting you, you know the usual. they usually are gentle with you and are soft spoken but with jake? nope. say bye bye to that because the man will literally tell you straight up that you were doing something dumb. but again, for some odd reason, he was more real and comforting than anyone you've known. he can be a pain in the ass and hella competitive when you two play games but overall, he's such a fun guy to be around.

-

"have you dated before, jake?" you watch him put down his ramen and look up at you. there was something in his eyes that held something you couldn't really figure out. maybe a sense of longing?

"no- well, i mean- i've been a few dates set up by my friends in australia but I never actually had a girlfriend, why do you ask?" now paying full attention to you, waiting for where this conversation leads to

"i was just curious because i just can't believe a guy like you doesn't have a girl" you hear him sigh and see him shrug

"it was never really a priority"

"that's it? what about the girls you dated?"

"i don't like blind dates, i prefer to find "the one" naturally, you know?" you nod, telling him you understood and got him mindset on dating and relationships.

the conversation on his love life continued until he whined and whined, asking you to stop and let him finish his lunch. jake wasn't entirely secretive with you, he's actually been very welcoming and open to letting you know him and bringing you into his life. although, like any other person, there were things he like to keep to himself.

-

the next two months were a whirlwind of shared experiences and growing affection. you and jake were practically inseparable, exploring seoul's vibrant streets, from bustling markets to serene temples.

one day, you embarked on a culinary adventure, attempting to make kimchi. what started as a fun activity quickly turned into a chaotic mess. red pepper flakes flew everywhere, turning the kitchen into a colorful battlefield. jake, ever the comedian, couldn't resist capturing the moment, teasing you about your culinary skills.

"you call that kimchi? it looks more like a crime scene!" he joked, doubling over with laughter. you playfully swatted him, but couldn't help but join in the fun.

another memorable moment was a karaoke night. initially hesitant, you let jake's encouragement push you out of your comfort zone. as you belted out your favorite tunes, your shyness melted away. you even attempted a duet with jake, a hilarious performance that had the entire karaoke bar roaring with laughter.

late nights often found you on a rooftop, stargazing and sharing your hopes, dreams, and fears. hours would pass as you connected on a deeper level, the city lights twinkling in the background. it was during these quiet moments that you realized how much you valued jake's friendship, his honesty, and his unwavering support.

the quiet hum of the city faded into the background as you and jake settled into a cozy evening. a bowl of popcorn, a soft blanket, and a heartwarming movie filled the screen. the familiar comfort of his presence washed over you as you leaned into his side.

a shared laugh, a knowing glance, a gentle touch—these were the moments that painted your time together in vibrant hues. the simplicity of it all was breathtaking. no grand gestures, no dramatic declarations, just the quiet understanding that grew between you.

as the credits rolled, a comfortable silence enveloped the room. you turned to face jake, his eyes soft and contemplative. a warmth spread through you, a realization dawning upon you. the bond you shared was something truly special, a friendship that had blossomed into something more.

the days that followed were a whirlwind of shared experiences, laughter, and quiet moments. you explored hidden alleys, savored delectable street food, and lost yourselves in the vibrant tapestry of seoul. each day was a new adventure, a fresh memory etched into your hearts.

as your departure date drew near, a bittersweet feeling settled over you. the thought of leaving seoul and saying goodbye to jake filled you with a sense of longing. on your last night, you wandered along the han river, the city lights reflecting on the calm waters.

"i'm going to miss you," you confessed, your voice barely a whisper.

jake turned to face you, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "i'll miss you too. but hey, this isn't goodbye, just see you later."

[krennicswife]

some krennic headcanons during andor ❤︎

i am perfectly aware he has like 2 minutes of screentime during the 1st act but this man has me on a chokehold ever since i was 12 & the lack of his on-screen presence can’t stop me from forming lots & lots of headcanons in my head (also: reader is female and there’s like a huuuge age gap & power imbalance so if u don’t like it, don’t read it !)

you’re an admiral’s daughter; you’re young, spoiled, bratty, quite intelligent too but you prefer to rely on your looks and privilege to get what you want because: that’s just the easy way. from the day you got promoted from the position as an intern to a proper worker in the ISB, you began to have your head poking into things that are none of your business. whether it’s you sneaking into high-level briefings, leaning over the shoulder of officers way above your pay grade, or constantly pestering people for information you absolutely don’t need, you’re always there. this would be the first aspect a certain cape-wearing director would notice about you.

the first time krennic sees you lingering outside a briefing room, pretending to read your datapad but actually listening to classified conversations? he’s fuming; it’s like you’re trying to be part of the grown-up conversation, and it pisses him off. you're unprofessional and immature, trying to maintain your relevance with desperation while he had to work for years trying to get into the position you're in now.

his first instinct is to remove you (how romantic ikr). you’re a distraction, an intrusion, and frankly, the sheer audacity of your presence makes him bristle. he steps into the room, locks eyes with you, and with a sharp tone that matches the icy glint in his eyes, he says, “move, child.”

krennic genuinely considers you a pest at first. like, he uses that word in his head; “she’s like a fly in the mess hall. no purpose, just noise and irritancy.”

at first, he’s convinced you’re just some naive intern trying to climb the ranks by riding on your father’s coattails. but then there’s something about you. you never ask directly; it’s more like a casual, persistent probing. you drop little comments here and there that make him realize you’re not as stupid as you seem. you might be spoiled, bratty, and a bit too eager to impress, but there’s an intelligence there. something sharp, underneath all that arrogance. that’s what gets him in the end, as he doesn’t seem to be like that type that would fall for bimbos.

you catch him staring once. he looks away instantly - you grin for the next three days straight.

he starts seeing you in a different light when you actually speak up. not in a bratty way, but in a sharp, calculated way that surprises him. your questions aren’t just curious; they’re insightful. you start pulling pieces of information together, drawing conclusions from small details that most people in the room completely miss. he takes his initial impression of you as a miscalculation in his brain and wants to be more annoyed of you, but surprise surprise, the absolute opposite occurs.

at the ISB, you’re nothing special, but you’re ambitious and persistent, and that truly sticks with him. of course, you’re also gorgeous as hell, always wearing those polished uniforms and, at special occasions, the most expensive luxury gowns gifted by your father. but that is secondary (at least that’s what he tells himself).

at some point, whenever you're missing, krennic finds himself wondering where you are. he shouldn’t care, but after seeing you around a few too many times, he starts feeling the need to know where you are at all times. he’s not watching you. he’s just keeping track of your whereabouts.

one time, during a tense ISB debrief, you dare to casually ask a question that no one else even thought to raise. it’s phrased innocently - but it exposes a flaw in the current operation, something small but critical. there’s a long pause in the room. krennic hates how impressed he is. he hates that it turns him on a little.

from that moment on, he actually starts using a slightly softer tone with you, but only when you're alone. in public, he’s still giving “disdainful professional disappointment” energy.

after that, a shift happens, and the more serious it gets, the more you start to change. you’re no longer the confident, teasing intern who used to saunter around with a grin on her face, throwing questions and remarks at anyone who crossed your path. you’ve become quieter, more calculated. your peers are even starting to tease you; “you’ve spent too much time with the director. you’re practically turning into him!” “now i’m just waiting for you to grow a white cape on your own”

to him, the change in you isn’t just external. it’s subtle, but noticeable: your posture is straighter. you speak less, but when you do, your words are measured, chosen with purpose. you seem sharper in a way that makes krennic realize just how much you’ve grown since the first time he met you.

as your supervisors and parents got more strict with you, you’ve learned when to speak and when to stay silent. you’ve also learned to anticipate krennic’s expectations. you’ve become more attuned to his preferences, responding with quiet obedience and even anticipating what he wants before he says it. your submission is subtle, but it’s noticeable, and it makes him feel a strange sense of satisfaction. we all know how much the director likes to be the one in control, don’t we?

and from that moment on, you’re bound to stay by his side.

-end of part 1-

[jrow]

May Prompts (19)

Day 18 here. Start from the beginning here. Day 20 here.

Weather

They are talking about the bloody weather.

Sure, he is legitimately thrilled to be outside for the first time in days (even if he is stuck in a wheelchair) and it is unseasonably warm. But still, the weather hardly warrants 10 minutes of conversation. He knows that he and Molly are both avoiding having what might be a slightly uncomfortable conversation. It is so very British.

He sighs and looks at Molly, who is still talking about how Toby loves lying in the sun. Enough is enough.

“Molly,” he interrupts, “do you know if I gave Sherlock his birthday gift? Do you know if he opened it?” There is no point in beating around the bush.

Her shoulders tighten a bit but she lets out a sigh. It’s like she’s both relieved and anxious that they are having this conversation. “You definitely gave it to him. I guess you don’t remember but you were … determined when you went over there that night.” She smiles sadly. “It was about time, if you ask me.”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t remember getting to Baker Street but … yeah, determined is the right word. I remember feeling that.” He closes his eyes. “Sherlock hasn’t said anything.”

Molly scooches down the bench so she’s closer to him. “He hasn’t opened it,” she stage whispers. She looks around the hospital garden as if making sure no one’s listening. “I popped by Baker Street yesterday—Mrs. Hudson let me in. I wasn’t snooping, I swear! Sherlock borrowed a few files from me last week and I needed them back. I didn’t have the heart to ask him to get them so I just did it myself.” She leans closer. “And your gift was still unwrapped on the coffee table.”

He rubs his hand over his face. “Okay, that answers one question. But why hasn’t he mentioned it at least? Even in his recounting of what happened that night?”

“John,” she says, reaching out and touching his leg. “He’s terrified. And, quite frankly, he has other things on his mind.”

“He feels guilty. It’s obvious.”

“Yes. Incredibly obvious.” She chuckles. “He feels guilty about your fall. You know how he can be. Somehow his silly little brain has decided it’s his fault. I suppose he thinks he should have caught you.”

She makes a good point, but he can’t help but worry it’s something else. “It could be about the gift, though. What if he deduced what’s in the box and feels guilty that he doesn’t want the same.”

She looks to the sky and sighs. “Boys,” she says quietly as if to herself before turning her gaze back towards him. “That’s stupid, John,” she says bluntly.

John leans back, a bit offended. “Come on, you know Sherlock can deduce anything.”

“Not about you!” she says, raising her hands in the air. “You’re his blindspot.” She puts her hands down and takes a deep breath. “And do you really think he’d spend time deducing a birthday gift while you were lying in a hospital bed? I saw him that morning, John. He was a mess. Kept it together on all things Rosie but all in all a mess. He’s not feeling guilty because he thinks he needs to let you down easy.”

John feels slightly chastised but also better. Molly isn’t lying about this. She believes what she’s saying. That’s the best he can hope for.

“Thanks, Molly,” he says, leaning forward to put a hand on her shoulder. “For everything.”

“I’m happy to help. I keep offering to do more with Rosie, but Sherlock refuses. At some point I do want to actually see her when she’s awake!”

He laughs. That all sounds about right.

She shrugs. “You know, I’m not sure Sherlock will get it anyways. When he opens the gift, I mean. You are trusting that present to explain quite a lot. Most people would just see it for what it is. A bit extravagant maybe, but that’s it.”

“He’ll take one look and put the pieces together.”

“Blind spot, John. And then you’ll be forced to use your words. Heaven forbid.”

“He’ll know, Molly.” He takes a breath. “I was determined. I am trying to get that determination back. And … I’m not good with words.”

“You two are a pair in that regard.” She shakes her head and then stands up. “Come on, let’s get back.”

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @quimerasyutopias @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty

Let me know if you want to be added or removed 😊

[danikamariewrites]

Right Where You Left Me

Dorian x reader

A/n: this takes place like halfway through Throne of Glass when shit starts to get really crazy lol. Dorian is another character that deserves the world but the world doesn’t deserve him.

Warnings: Angst

It had been months that you had this weird feeling that Dorian was keeping something from you. You tried to get him to talk about it but he wouldn’t open up to you. You tried to follow him during the day, and at night even but you were never successful.

Today you have finally reached your limit. You knew it had to do with the champions contest for the king. Dorian didn’t want you anywhere near that mess but you didn’t care. There was dangerous and creepy stuff happening all over the castle, people were dying!

If you couldn’t be near it, then you wanted him away from that mess too. You couldn’t bear to lose Dorian for something so stupid, especially if his father was involved.

You stood outside his room, taking a deep breath praying you didn’t cry once you saw him, and knocked. You entered without waiting for a response from your boyfriend.

Dorian was sitting at his desk, pouring over a large ancient book. He looked up as you got closer to him. He noticed you were upset, “y/n, what’s wrong?”

You weren’t going to hold back. You were always honest with each other and that wasn’t going to stop now. “I don’t think I can do this anymore Dorian.” His eyes widened in shock and worry. You could tell he wasn't expecting this. He stands, taking your hands in his.

You close your eyes and gently pull away from him, you don't want to touch him again, not when you knew it would be the last time. “You’re keeping secrets from me, and it’s killing me.” Guilt takes over his face. Like he knew this conversation was coming.

“There’s weird shit going on around here. And that damned contest is the root of the problem. I know you said you didn’t want me around it and that’s fine I don’t want any part of that.” Taking a shuddering breath you continue, “But, I can’t stand by while you put yourself in danger too.”

Dorian stuffs his hands in his pockets, “Chaol is always with me, I’m perfectly safe.” You shake your head. “It doesn’t matter if Chaol is with you or not. I have a bad feeling about all of this.” Tears start falling fast. “Dorian, I can’t keep worrying about you. You won’t tell me what’s really going on and quite frankly, I don’t even want to know anymore.” Dorian looks down at his feet, you can feel the guilt coming off him.

“You’re sneaking off, getting into weird situations with Chaol and Lillian, and we’re not even spending time together anymore.” There was finality in your tone. You could tell Dorian knew there was no changing your mind but he had to try.

“I’m sorry y/n. Please, please let me make it up to you. I can’t lose you.” He steps closer to you but just back away, shaking your head.

You wipe at your face trying to stop the tears still falling. “There’s nothing to do. We’re past that. I want to break up, Dorian. I think it’s for the best.” Truly, he knew it was too. Dorian knew deep down there was something bigger than a few strange murders and odd marks on the walls. And whatever was coming he wanted you far away from it.

Even if you didn’t love him anymore he would always love you. If something ever happened to you he would never forgive himself. He nods, “I am truly sorry, for everything. And if this is what’s best…” he couldn’t finish his sentence. It was too painful letting you go. And saying it made it real.

All you could do was nod. You walk towards the door before you break down. If you did break down you knew he would comfort you and that wasn’t fair to either of you.

Before you shut the door you looked at the prince one last time, “Goodbye, Dorian. I’m sorry too.”

As soon as the door shut Dorian began to cry. He would never forgive himself for how things ended between you two.

[dentiststoothfairy]

Slides in *) may I have a chubby reader and them H E A D C A N O N S (blinks with eye lashes*)

Ty 😊

Art I made lmao

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐨'𝐬 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝 & 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Bro they don't give a single fuck.

Gonna be honest. They really don't.

If you're vibing with them? They'll vibe with you. Doesn't matter if you're pretty, ugly, larger, smaller, taller, shorter, thick or flat.

Nene thinks you're gorgeous anyways. You know she does because she makes a big deal about not hanging around ugly people.

"Like Pico?"

"Oh my Lord, exactly! Like Pico!"

She takes you shopping and then throws an ABSOLUTE fit if or when they don't carry the CUTEST outfit in your size.

That has to be some sort of CRIME.

Darnell is probably the most apathetic about it. He knows what it's like to be treated differently for something you can't change. And personally, he'd rather someone not make a large deal out of it... So he doesn't make a big deal out of you either.

Although, when someone has the audacity to like.. Comment on it? He calls them tf out. He makes a big deal then. He gets absolute pleasure of making assholes squirm with uncomfortable tension after being pointed out.

He's got your back. Honestly? He is probably the most reliable out of the group. He shuts Nene up real fast when she says something insensitive by the slip of the tongue.

Pico? God don't let anyone make one comment around you two.

He DON'T let that shit slide.

He's probably fallen asleep on you after a long day. He hasn't got any shame that one, I'm not gonna lie. You're way more comfortable to lean on than Darnell or Nene.

Nene mocks him and tells him that he better not collapse into your chest the way he collapsed into hers that one time. He still fucking hates that. It's embarrassing. He WOULD RATHER DIE.

"I'm back!"

"Oh, welcome home." You answered cointly. Your chest heavy with burden as you pulled your nervous eyes away from your reflection, subconsciously pulling down at your pants as you did so to hide the shame.

Your blue haired lover gave an energetic laugh as he moved lightly on the soles of his feet, bouncing to the couch as he took his hat out to fan himself. His stupid smile always brought comfort, you fought a smile yourself.

"Busy day?" You hummed, his eyes was still twinkling from energy from being outside. He nodded as his mouth opened to talk more.

"Oh hell yeah. Another rap battle, it was absolutely fire. You should've heard me!"

Ah.. You... Hadn't been willing to leave the apartment for a while... Embarrassment of like... Existing. But, that meant you missed out on so many fun things with your quite frankly, extroverted boyfriend.

His rising and falling chest and heart beating in sync, you could feel his internal music constantly bumping as he climbed onto you while you sat down, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck as you quickly grabbed his hand. You knew what he was trying to do, trying to run his fingers through your tight curls and you knew it would only end badly.

"I bet... You would've sounded great." You gave a bitter smile, glancing down subtly at your legs as your hand clutched his hand tighter. Your lover, usually pretty clueless, seemed to pick up on the cues.

".. Is something wrong, babe?" He asked, his tone shifted slightly as he looked up at you, his excitement washed away like a wave swallowing a crab into the large ocean.

Now look what you've done...

"No, no. I'm fine! I was just thinking about what we were going to have for dinner tonight. Maybe something with low fat?" You offered, throwing the option into the air hoping that the usual air head wouldn't catch on.

Unlucky for you, he did.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Is this about your legs again?" He let go of you, as he sat up. The silence hung in the air like a string hung off a cork board. You never liked lying to him but, how else could you improve the situation..?

He gave a sigh, laying his head on your shoulder as he snaked an arm around your waist, trying to pull you as closely as he could to you. "... You know I think you're stunning, I don't.. Understand how you can't see that." He muttered.

"Because-.." Your voice caught onto the tissue in your throat as if a hook was dragging across it. You couldn't untangle the line that was suffocating you. Both metaphorical, and the verbal line you were about to say.

And, god bless... Your boyfriend as if a miracle worker, knew exactly what to do. He pulled you in, connecting your lips quickly.

"You're adorable. There's nothing cuter than you." He mumbled, giving you a crooked smile. "The fact you think other wise is insulting. You're like.. The fuckin' cutest thing ever. Like, you're so soft. And I know people who say that come off as if they're reaching for compliments but honestly? I wouldn't change you for the way you are." He shrugged.

Your eyes scavenged his for any sort of lie. That he was trying to make you feel better with absolutely no true empathy behind his words. But you came up empty handed.

"Like, do you know how hard it is for me to like.. Not show you off? I just wanna walk down the street and go 'look suckers! This is my mutha' fuckin' partner! You can't even imagine landing someone so hot!'" He raised his voice, cupping his mouth to make himself even louder. You gave a nervous laugh.

"Please don't do that..." Please, don't.

He gave a cheeky wink to you, sticking his cheek out as he did. "I said it's hard for me not to do, not that I would. I know how you get with attention, baby and I'm gonna do my best to make sure you're content in your own skin because I love you." He brought your knuckle to his lips, giving you a kiss and feigning a knight.

"Whether you're black, white, fuckin'... Green or thin."

Green?

You couldn't help but laugh at that. Taking your dumb ass boyfriend by the jaw and kissing him once again.

"You're so stupid."

"I know." He hummed back, content. "Now what's for dinner for real? I'm starving."

[lollytea]

Up until a month back I liked a guy. And I really liked him. But I found out he didn't like me back. I was really upset, but I didn't want to hold it against him, but then I found out he had a reputation of being a player (which, at our age of 14 is flirtatiously texting girls and then just. Ghosting them).

And I felt really upset. I began to question if he even saw me as a friend, and whether the way he texted me was even friendly. What if he secretly loathed me and was just doing this to get a kick out of it? What if he knew about my feelings and they were just a joke to him?

I wanted to cry, but I told my friends and my sister I was okay. But I wanted to scream. Its not my fault I was born ugly. It's not my fault my face makes me unlovable. And even though I wanted to distance myself from him I felt some sort of perverse pleasure every time he did something embarrassing in front of every one.) And that's when I think it hit me.

That's why I'm unlovable. I am unlovable because I'm a terrible person. My friends tried to comfort me saying that he's a shitty person who can't see my beauty/cuteness, but friends are obligated to say that. I wanted to believe them because they're all so beautiful, and they would never lie to me because they love me. But they deserve a better friend than me.

I want to cry because I want to experience having a whirlwind romance, and falling in love. I also know I'll probably never have that.

And AGH I feel so upset. Because all my life I've known I was ugly. But when this guy showed me attention, was nice to me, it made me feel special. Made me feel like I was having my own romance.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate that I can't be loved, I hate my face, I hate myself for feeling these things. Last year when I suspected I began liking him, I told myself not to fall too deep, and here I am, ranting to you on tumblr dot com.

Lollytea, I love your writing and I love your posts. I love how confident you are of yourself. I'm very sorry for ranting in your inbox about my shitty love life, if this makes you uncomfortable, please delete it. But if you don't, I genuinely would like some encouragement. That my time for my own romance will come. That I will learn to love this face.

You're not unlovable. You're just 14. It just happens that being 14 feels a lot like being chronically unlovable. But no, that is not actually the case.

Maybe you've heard this a lot. And I imagine that it must be frustrating to listen to. That being a teenager just means your emotions are bigger and more intense than they will ever be in your entire life, so they're irrational and silly.

That's not the case either. Your feelings matter. And they're worth being listened to. But I do need you to keep in mind that the age range you're in right now is one of the most difficult periods of time that a human being will ever go through. Being a teenager is very hard. Being an adult is hard too. But me and every adult I've ever met would not trade it for being 14 again. No way in hell.

It does severely influence how you see yourself and why your emotions feel so strong and messy and all over the place. But I assure you that you're doing a fantastic job for a person in your situation. It's rough and you're getting through it and I'm proud of you.

Firstly, I'm going to say this quite bluntly but dont take it as me insulting them. Most of the boys in your class probably aren't that smart. And they are the absolute worst people to be seeking validation from. I promise that their opinion of you is not worth worrying about because they are...stupid, frankly. They won't be stupid forever. Probably. But being 14 is a weird age for boys too and they're quite mean for a while before they mature and chill tf out. Please try not to let it get to you if one of them doesn't like you romantically. I promise you it is not remotely a big deal. None of them have any idea how to be good boyfriends yet anyway.

No, you're not unlovable for occasionally having spiteful little thoughts about somebody who was mean to you. Everybody has those every once in a while. As long as you maintain some self-awareness and don't let cruelty consume your whole brain, having a few mean thoughts doesn't make you a terrible person. What WOULD make you a terrible person is external terrible behaviour. It's your actions that matter. So just be kind, alright? Be kind to your friends. Ignore the people you don't like but be civil. Don't hurt anyone. If you stick to all of this, you're golden. Considering that you already seem so self-critical of being a bit bitchy inside your own head, I think that's a promising sign than you won't do anything worse than that. I hope so anyway. Be kind, that's all you can do. Your friends love you. If you put your all into loving them in return, then you can have something so special.

You're not ugly, you're 14. Sorry, I'm getting a bit repetitive but I think it's relevant information to this whole situation. At the age you're at, your face is probably in this weird transitional period between child and adult so maybe that's why it might look "uglier" than usual to you. It might last a few more years but it won't look like that forever. I assure you that your face is beautiful because it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's alright if you've felt ugly your whole life. The way you look at your own face is way more personal than the way you look at other people's faces. We don't really notice the flaws on others the way we notice our own. We're wired weird like that.

All I can say is hang tight. If you don't like your face then please try not to let it upset you that much. Your face hasn't fully developed yet. For the time being, you look exactly the way you're supposed to look and you're perfect. Let's see how it looks in a few years before we make any rash decisions about it being as ugly as you think it is.

Don't be hasty in the belief that you'll never find love and romance. I assure you that the age you're at is the absolute worst time to get a boyfriend and its perfectly okay if you don't experience it for another while. It's normal. You're fine. It's okay.

I know you want it. I know it sounds nice. And I promise that if its important to you, once you're older and the people you're interested in are a little smarter, you will have it.

I'm serious when I say that for the time being, focus on being a good friend. Focus on school. Focus on your own physical and mental health. Focus on your hobbies. Being wanted by 14 year old boys won't mean shit in the long run.

Things will be okay. You talk so much about how you'll be alone for the rest of your life. But your life has only just begun and you hardly know who you are yet. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the coming years. I promise that you'll be okay.

I know you came for me for reassurance but from that last paragraphs, I'm sure you're already smart enough to know the things I've told you. But I imagine that you just needed a second opinion. Take care, love.

[passcode58]

Not Requested |

Pure Fluff |

High school Gojo Satoru x Reader 

Warnings | spoilers, death, suicide. (Bery brief)

You were always fond of purple skies because they were beautiful and serene. But now those demons took on a new meaning of their own. Purple skies now adorned the mask of sorrow and pain, as you saw the clouds reflecting in his pretty brown eyes, now dull and hollow. "I don't give a fuck bout what you did. I don't give a shit about Manami— about who she is, or who they are. I still fucking love you." It was too much, you felt sad, hurt, angry, jealous. Who the hell was that woman and why was she with him!? For how long, for all these years?? You would go after her personally if you had to, you wondered if she did his hair for him, if she helped him.sleep at night when he couldn't bear the weight of the world anymore…it was sickening. You could feel your body grow weak with the upcoming sweep of sorrow and resentment., and you couldn't keep your composure anymore as tears slid down your face and your heart took a rhythm you couldn't keep up with.

"(Y/n)…don't."

"No Suguru, you don't. You broke my heart…you ruined my life! You just fucking left, dammit— Suguru, you…you murdered all those people in cold blood but I don't care just please don't do this— You dying is something I just cannot forgive. You said you're the strongest, then get the fuck up. We can hide you away, I can take you away from here you, I can  you! You can live just don't fucking do this please —

It all falls silent when his meet yours, and you taste blood in his saliva. And he mutters, softly, in that voice you longed to hear for all those broken and god-forsaken years. "Even after this time you still call me…in that sweet pretty voice. Delicate like a flower's petal…and I hate that I yearn to hear it more, because I'm selfish. At least let me feel hated for my actions…"

"No, I could never hate you. You're my first love. There's no man, and I mean no man on this earth, no action committed, no creature, no hell, that could make me hate you. You…I—,"

"I did everything because I love you, (Y/n). Make no mistake. I did this…because I'm stupid, but not stupid enough to love any other than you."

"But I don't care, Suguru. I just want you, I want you to live, and come home with me— with us. We need you Suguru, I…I swear to God I'll kill myself if you die here." it was desperate, his blood soaked your clothes, crimson red, like a black widow's back. And the sorrow bites into you, poisoning you and paralyzing you with fear as you struggle to come to terms with the truth. This man, this dying man was your high school lover. Your first love, your everything…and here he is, once noble, a bloodied and bruised up criminal with a target on his head. The pretty head you loved to kiss. 

"You won't, because he wouldn't let you." And you fall limply into his arms when you hear more footsteps approaching, and you desperate as the cold wind hits your skin, eyes glossy with tears, shirt wet with ruby red blood. "Toru, please help me." but the white-haired male doesn't respond. He's devoid of emotion and you don't know why but that breaks you even more, because here he is, the strongest, but you can see, his feet tremble and his lips quiver. Other than you, Geto Suguru is the only man who could bring Gojo shambles like this. To break past his barrier of infinity and year through his golden heart. To let all love bleed like blood on the streets. 

"You're late Satoru.

And you swore to God that Geto wasn't the only person who died that day.

…

Quite frankly, Gojo refused to go on certain missions alone because he wanted you close to him. It's times like this, when you lay together in the same bed where you fall apart, and he does what he does best and fucks you senseless. "I know you'll never love me the way you loved him." He's still in you, his head resting on the space between your shoulder and your neck, as he presses gentle kisses on this particularly rough day.

"That isn't true."

"He was your first love, I know this because I could never love someone the way I love you." It's funny that you liked  to wash the pain away and drown it in pleasure instead, but you were crying. Not tears of joy or euphoria, just broken, old, sad, sappy tears. "Satoru I—"

"He was my one and only, and I can't even imagine what he meant to you. I swear on my life, I feel sick for doing this, for sleeping with you knowing I could never…that I can't— that I can't be him for you, or replace him. I feel sick, because I feel like I'm not enough for you. I let your lover die…because I was too oblivious and didn't reach out to him even when you did." His words are sick, and you could feel the tears "You always did while I joked it off instead, or brushed it off, I never looked deeper because I never believed I had to…but (Y/n) I want to do it right this time. You're all I have left, so I want to do this right. I don't want to fuck you when you're sad, I want to make love to you, I want to be there for you with each breath you take, to eipe your tears of pain, and being those of joy. I…I want to be yours, and not just as the strongest, or as Gojo, but as satoru Gojo, your best friend. 

Your breath is taken from you when he raises his head to look you in the eye, and he's so broken, but beautifully so. Like a swan, a pretty swan who lost their lover. You don't want Satoru to be broken, because you love him— not as much as Suguru, you worshiped the very ground Suguru walked on, but you loved him nevertheless.

"Satoru, nothing and no one can compare to your beauty and brilliance—" you gasped, when he pulled you in for a rough, desperate kiss, words lost on his tongue.

"We're both beautifully broken—"

"But we both know we can't fix each other, because we're fucked up, we're messy, we care too much, and that's why we're hurt. We care too much for this world, but we can't escape, you're the strongest—"

"We are the strongest, and that's why we are fucked up. The day I was born, the balance of the universe was tipped, and I dragged you— you of all fucking people into this shit, into my shit."

"And I don't care. If I die as a sorcerer, it's in your arms, by your side, fighting for you or by your own hands."

[ourceliumnetwork]

I think if i had the option i'd go back and maybe rethink the choice of sleeping with the first guy i slept with.

gonna get TMI but like... eh. this is a main blog kind of post probably

I mean obviously i should rethink most of the people who have put their dick in me because a lot of them were uhhhh Not So Good People it turns out, but like i think i probably would have avoided at least a couple of the bad ones just if tank hadn't used my attempts to initiate things between us against me when he ended things. cause that shit is still fucking me over 11 years later.

a lot of weed and alcohol were involved in our relationship, i can't like... that would be a pretty stupid thing to gloss over. the fact that my ex-best friend was the one to set us up also feels really relevant, because that summer was the falling out that had been an inevitability between us for two-and-a-half years, and tank was the one who was mostly there for me during that. and he wouldn't have been there if she hadn't gotten us both drunk and high after an emotionally, mentally and physically taxing weekend.

i was very deliberate about my choice to sleep with him - it took 4 months. our relationship in total was about 6. the first night though we slept next to each other on the floor, and at some point he rolled over on top of me and started making out with me. I was thrilled because he was hot and i was horny because it was May and like... listen i don't handle the summer months well and one of the ways that manifests is poor choices regarding my intimate partners, though i stand by my choices regarding russian/eastern european accents fake or otherwise. there's a reason i jumped right off of the boat of attempting to date last summer, and it's because i saw the trajectory and realized i was no longer able to do that to myself but i digress.

i want to be very clear *he* started making out with *me.* I would NEVER have started to kiss someone who didn't start it first, and i still probably wouldn't. maybe a first peck but i would *never* initiate anything more intimate because i am firstly terrified and secondly my touch-starved ass was already quite convinced that just experiencing the presence of my body in the general vicinity of yours was a horrific curse i was placing upon everyone who had the misfortune of seeing me. This would not be helped by the re-framing of this first night incident 6 months down the line. i'm still not entirely convinced people aren't just Being Very Kind about touching me when i can't keep to myself anymore, and secretly extremely disgusted and would like to move away as quickly as socially polite, but that's... a symptom.

*he* was on top of *me*. i was being kissed - i was kissing back, but i was *being* kissed.

we fooled around a little up until i made the decision that i was ready to go further. i would attempt to initiate and he would either be into it or he would say no and i would back off. a lot more often i was waiting for him to want to do something himself. i waited a lot.

a lot of times our sex would happen late at night, he worked a lot, and i tried to spend weekends with him because we were both busy during the week and 45 minutes is a long way for dating. he was also going to school and practicing for a play (and he rode a motorcycle and wanted to work in the circus and he played the drums). he was really really interesting and neat and frankly i don't blame my younger self for going for it - shoot your shot sweetheart like damn. i didn't think there was any problem with it because most of the time it was him starting it - or him accepting my tentative attempts at forwardness the rest of the time.

so imagine my surprise when at the end of the relationship he tells me it was me who was the aggressor because he kept waking up in the middle of us doing stuff - like the first night he woke up mid-make-out, apparently. this was, according to him, really frequent and was part of the roller coaster of being with me that he wasn't ready to keep riding, and i am only very loosely paraphrasing because that man said the roller coaster line to me actually to my face. anyway.

if you've been following me for any length of time you'll understand what happened to my brain next. APPARENTLY you can give your OCD a thing to chew on in the background and all it takes is one tiny trigger to turn that into a whole *complex*.

This is where things get a little interesting, thanks for sticking around this long.

so you know how i'm like 27 discrete entities piloting a meat mech? and also am queer as all get out? and grew up in the 90s and the 00s?

turns out you can absorb a *lot* of interesting takes with all of that, and internalize them all and point the barbs directly at yourself constantly. and if you get too confident those sharp points will do a *lot* of damage.

Somehow i knew early on i was a gay boy so i knew i wasn't Supposed to like boys, but also i was a girl to everyone who could see me, so they thought i was supposed to like boys - and I did like boys, crucially i absolutely was into boys - but i was like no i'm supposed to be into girls. and i am! i am into girls! but i knew i wasn't supposed to be *into* girls, and lesbianism is predatory and so is being gay and so is being a man and so is being a man into women and so is-

so i, at the age of 22, hear that i have been accidentally being a horrible molester and predator of my *boyfriend* who i thought i *loved*, and all those really sharp points i'd internalized to hold myself at bay and keep myself the right shape and size? fucking *wrecked* my shit. we've done a number of wild oscillations between Too Much and Not Anything since, because once you get that pendulum swinging it's really difficult to stop? it's been a work in progress.

this is on my mind because like i think i said earlier, it's something i'm actively working on trying to get through and heal from and find the balance for, and the when was your first time having consensual sex poll kinda like triggered this thought of like would i change anything about that?

and i think the only thing i would change is i would not have stayed with tank long enough for that to have been a thing i did with him. because he already thought of me as some sort of succubus creature and while i'm not against that concept on some level i'd like to know i'm doing it on purpose and that the other person actually wants it, rather than finding out that i was creating an unwilling victim in my pursuit of a sexual relationship wtih my boyfriend at the time.

my spring/summertime madness is approaching and i can already feel it sneaking up on me. I blamed a lot of things for how badly last year went, what with attempting to get into dating right when i got broken up with and my grandpa died around the exact same time. like that's never a good time to start but especially not for me when my brain is already kind of Delicate what with the Seasons and all. we'll stay an indoor slut until we're mentally stable enough to handle healthy communication with sexual partners lol.

unfortunately unless someone who wants to fuck me appears in my bedroom and tells me explicitly this is what they want, i'm probably not getting any anytime soon lol. i'll be alright, that's what the toys are for, it's just like funny that this is how this has turned out. luckily i was trained for this xD

anyway sorry for the TMI, props to you if you got this far. the sex stuff is mostly context for like the mental health stuff i'm working through, because it's all related. i'm one horny motherfucker and sometimes a man Yearns is all. but i'm kind of a chicken and so my yearning stays cooped up - that wasn't meant to be an extended pun/metaphor but it worked good lol anyway.

[ijwrff]

Can you do a poly Robbie X Reader X Anti? ( Asking for another one of us)

Of course! I hadn't thought about a poly relationship with those two...but honestly I can see it. It's goals. Just straight up goals. And I hope you, and anyone else you're asking for enjoys it thoroughly :) thank you so much for asking me, and for the one who wanted to ask it of me! I appreciate it so much <3

@serenitydusk @thattiredanimator1t0mblr @viciouslyyearning

Word Count: 1,097

Things were much more simple back then. You had feelings for Robbie, yes. But you didn’t know if he felt the same, he wasn’t exactly the best with words. He’s adorable, in every sense of the word! How could you not fall for him? His eyes were enrapturing, and his hair was always so soft. He was always so kind to you, and even made you laugh! But now…now things are different. It made you question a lot of things about yourself. 

You met Anti. He seemed intimidating, and quite frankly rude. You didn’t like him at first, not one bit. He yelled at you, made you feel stupid…and as much as you liked Robbie, you didn’t wanna visit too much after that. But you couldn’t say no to those eyes. It had you go back time and time again, and you started to see a different side to Anti. A softer one, just a man who made random and bad jokes, and would start a fight if someone didn’t laugh at them. He stopped yelling at you, and even let you hug him, which is something you didn’t think would happen. 

Now you were visiting, and only Anti and Robbie were home. You weren’t doing much, just watching tv. A stereotypical relationship was playing, the girl and guy were madly in love with each other at first sight, it was only making your head hurt. You thought that was what it was like to gain feelings for Robbie. But now you were left to question if you liked Robbie, or Anti. They were opposites in many ways, but among the people that lived here, they seemed closest. Maybe their opposite personalities blended well together. 

You of course were sitting on the couch between them. Barely paying attention to the screen, you subtly glanced between Anti’s hand and Robbie’s. It went on for a while, and you didn’t want to lead one of them on only to get with the other one! You hadn’t seen them get jealous over you, but you didn’t want to put a wedge between them if you chose one or the other. They were pretty close, and you didn't want to break up their friendship for your own feelings getting in the way. 

They shared a glance over your head, and both grabbed your hands at the same time. You jumped and looked back and forth between them. Neither looked at you, was it a mistake? You jumped up and tried to ignore the slight blush on your face as you looked between them. Robbie looked confused, and Anti looked cocky. 

“What?” Anti said, his smirk on his face. He waited half a second for you to speak and when you didn’t, “Just holding your hands is all.” He stretched, and stood up, pushing your shoulders lightly to try and get you back on the couch but you fought against it slightly. 

“N-No! That’s not all!” Robbie noticed how distressed you were in those words and he stood up too. Now they were both back to being on either side of you. They gave you a second, and you tried to get your words together. “I…It’s not fair. I don’t want to make either of you feel led on. I just…I don’t know who to choose. I’ve liked you both for so long, I don’t want to hurt your relationship by picking.” You closed your eyes, not wanting to see their faces right now. 

“Oh. That’s all?” Anti said, deadpan. It made you open your eyes in surprise, as you looked to see him. “We know. We already talked about it.” He went from having a hand on your shoulder to an arm around your shoulders as he pulled you closer. “Choosing is dumb. No point in it really.” 

“W-what do you mean?” Were they teasing you? Maybe even saying neither would take you? “If you’re playing some sort of game, it’s not funny!” You refused to cry right now, but your feelings you hadn’t yet said were soon to slip out. Knowing that this could turn bad, you were terrified. You couldn’t face a rejection from one, let alone both! Still…hope tries to make its way into your brain. 

 “No game!” Robbie said, cuddling close to your side in a tight embrace. “We…like you.” His words were a bit slurred, but the meaning was strong. “Don’t choose…” From his nearly crouched down position, he looked up at you with those adoring eyes of his. He was looking at you with a mixture of anxiety and that same thing that budded in your chest…hope. 

“D-Don’t choose?” You were trying to keep any excitement you had out of your voice just in case it was some elaborate prank. “How can I-” The words were cut off by Anti, which did happen quite a lot. Very regularly he’d take charge of the situation. Even when it wasn’t asked for, but this time you didn’t mind he did so, in fear of looking like the fool in this situation. 

“Yeah. Easy. Just date both of us.” Blunt and right to the point, Anti swung around to be directly in front of you with both hands on your shoulders. He was taller than Robbie, so it was easy to look at you from over Robbie’s head where he was bent down. It wasn’t as confident or as cocky as it was often, but instead serious and calculating. “I mean really, why choose? We both like you, you like us, and we’re okay with it.” 

“I…” Hesitation turned to determination. “Yeah! I’d…I’d like that.” And the tears fell that you were holding in. “I’d LOVE that!” And you laughed, making their worried faces turn into that of joy. They laughed when you did, and both pulled you close…or in Robbie’s case, closer. If it was even possible. 

You were inseparable before, but now after the confessions? Even more so. Dates, games, shows, walks, anything was perfect with the three of you. There may be fights, but all of you (even Anti) worked hard to resolve them. Robbie wasn’t much to fight, but in any relationship there’s always going to be disagreements. However, with how happy you made your two boyfriends feel, they made you feel just as happy if not more. Arguments are few and far between, and you couldn’t imagine your life without them. 

“I love you”s were often, once you had all reached that point. And just hearing those three words, from any part of your relationship ended up making you all even stronger…together. 

[meatriarchived]

thinking very big on maria's aliases at the moment so,

dolores.

maria's more subdued, soft, docile persona. one of her primary lures. dolores acts as a way to entice targets who are looking for someone they think is easy to control or influence. submissive and eager to go along with whatever they want really, dolores as a persona is maria's way of gauging and pulling very strong, very cocky, very frankly stupid victims into going someplace secluded with her - and into the hunting grounds of her two scary guard dogs to have fun with. she's the persona, alongside aurelia, that brings victims into back alleys, back to a designated place on the sawyer-hewitt property, to decoy houses / buildings, or to specific fields or stops where its been established earlier in the night with johnny ( & lee ) that she will get them to, for them to meet there. dolores is that sweet, softer, doe-eyed side of maria really being coaxed out in order to quite literally throw someone to the wolves. dolores is symbolized by lambs / sheep, also to come across in a softer light to those who interact with her and fall victim, for other unassuming creature to take you by the hand, frolicking out into open field, unknowingly being circled by predators hidden in the grass around them. nickname : dolly.

aurelia.

more of a push into maria's more bubbly self, aurelia's more of that out-there, perky, sunshine-incarnate type persona that draws people attention. she's all smiles, all touchy, PDA at max. she's also that more kinda ditzy personality, too, if she feels her target likes it. she'll play heavily into the 'oh please keep talking i am SO interested in what youre saying!! omg no really you do all that??? wow you're so strong / so smart / etc' type of person, showering with compliments. definitely more of the persona for those kinds of people who LOVE talking about themselves and making themselves seem more important / tougher / etc than they really are. aurelia works as another lure because she's the type that'll convince targets to drink and drink and drink, or pull them off to dance with her, let them get handsy, let them think they have a shot. aurelia is symbolized by rabbits / bunnies, cute and sweet little prey animal, unassuming. one that lets you give chase, until you find yourself inches from wolves' widened jaws. nickname : lia.

rosa.

not as much of a lure than more utilized when maria's working alone, but rosa works to get targets alone and vulnerable. she's flirty, handsy, siren eyed rather than doe. truly come fuck me eyes. its the persona to let her explore things on a more sexual note, but its also the one where after things are said and done and theres a body on the floor, she wants to reaffirm her devotion to the scary dog(s) more - like a very, get this fuckers' scent off of me right now and put yours all over me instead kinda thing, if you will. but its also very much, i get to toy around with them a little more, be teasing, be mean. very hey heres your body let me snap a picture with you gh.ostface style ♡ its more of her violent side that comes out, because its really one of the personas where she gets to really disarm people - from being flirtatious to im stabbing you to im sinking my teeth in your neck and ripping at you rather than it being a simple love bite. still uses rosa, though regardless if working alone or with the scary dog(s). rosa's symbolized by both butterflies & moths, metamorphosis from maria into territory she was never all that comfortable in before. its exploration of a different side - both sexual and violent. its the specific kinds, of mourning cloak butterfly, of death's-head hawkmoths, of black witch moths, with meanings of change, of rebirths, and of death or misfortune. nickname : typical pet names one gives a one-night-stand.

magdalena.

in a sense, magdalena's come to be a persona by several factors, and its more of her long game, lone wolf type. its a combination of something in her snapping from her reunion with donnie ( being told 'i love you' when you were left for dead, buried and otherwise forgotten about is mm, esp when compared to the love that had been shown in the years since. ) and its more of maria taking influence from not only johnny by also nancy, in routes where she ( & lee ) are accepted by her into the family. its getting a lil more personal with her targets, earning their trust over a longer timeframe. befriending them even. its more of her wolf coming out - where one one side, magdalena comes across as a typical neighbor, someone who bakes you things and brings it over unprompted ( sometimes we get silly and slow-poison them c: ) esp during rough times - similar to how nancy works. its the slowburn of growing closer to them, earning trust, being let into their lives, just to one day down the line rip that security out from under them, turn their homes into a bloodbath really. magdalena's more of that, mercy doesnt exist in this body, morality doesnt exist, theres an anger and a hatred and a coldness to the world thats been dormant in these bones like the old gods who sleep for millennia hidden among us like mountain ranges. while physically maria isn't nearly on the same levels as johnny or leland, i'd argue magdalena's by far her more brutal and unhinged persona in that she'll not only make an absolute mess out of her target, but will also prolong things at times - make it last hours, if she can manage, if they stay alive long enough. magdalena is also moreso in swing post-acceptance by nancy, meaning the likelihood that she's been taught how to use the same types of ability, the possession, the hallucinations, is very high. magdalena's symbolized by wolf peering out from under sheepskin. nicknames : lena.