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fandomsconfuseme · 4 years

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I have been playing in my head with an idea for a fanfic (i actually never wrote fanfiction but oh well) and would love if any of you guys could tell me if you think i should try to write it!

Headcanon:

After It is defeated Richie is the one that goes to see Patty and explain everything and since every other loser is occupied doing something with their lives (Mike is traveling, Ben and Beverly are together and Bill goes back to his wife) they end up leaving Richie completely lost without realizing, so he becomes friends with Patty because they are both in a "what now?" moment in their lives. Patty finds out she is pregnant and Richie offers to be there to help.

Fast forward 9 months and Richie and Patty are trying to take care of this kid while having zero idea what they are doing. Bev is pregnant, Audrea is pregnant and Mike found a girl he really connected to in Florida, they got married and are now expecting twins. While Patty was pregnant Richie basically started going out and getting drunk in order to try to feel something beside numbness, having quick sex with any boy or girl that took his mind of his life. When the kid is born he stops drinking and straights up his life but by that time he got a model pregnant.

Fast forward 18 years and we have 6 adorable kids:

Anne Uris (18)

She grew up with Richie and Patty and basically became a mini Richie with better sense of style. She is the one that is always cracking jokes, is always ready to fight but can barely talk about her feelings. She plays a ton of instruments and dropped a lot of other ones, loves skating, is always wearing her dad shirts and t-shirts with some dark acessories, is confused about her sexuality but has supportive parents that tell her that at the end of the day she doesn't need labels and it doesn't matter and she is the first one to call people out on their bullshit (like Stan).

Samantha Tozier (17)

Richie got full custody of her when she was 4 because she is trans and her biological mother didn't "agree" with it so ended up becoming psychologically abusive. She is a ray of sunshine and is really similar to her mom (Patty). She is the nerd of the group, allways talking at the speed of light about some new subject she adores, she loves history (especially queer one), is totally a bookworm and an activist, loves studying cultures and learning new languages for fun (she is fluent in 5 but can understand a ton of other ones with a little bit of help). She also got Richie interest in sex (haha) and while she is in fact a virgin she is always reading smut and ends up being the one that teaches good sex education to the others and gives them shit about being safe and stds (like Eddie would). And while her sister is not the most touchy person ever her love language usually involves physical contact, they complete each other, are always doing stuff together and are also best friends.

Ruby Hanlon (17)

She is one of the popular kids, plays volley and really likes math and fashion. She sometimes gets involved with drama for the guys she chooses to get involved with (that are not always the best ones) but is a strong cookie and a feminist that would not turn on another girl for something a guy did. She is extravagant and loud and lovely to be around, she has friends from completely different circles and with completely different interests and its good at seeing people for who they truly are.

Theo Hanlon (17)

He is allways fighting with his sister and hates drama but is the first one to get involved to have her back. He is in the Track team and is always getting medals because he works hard and loves running. He is the person that is allways there if you need, loves hearing his friends rambling even if it's about something he knows Jack shit about and although he wouldn't admit it to his sister his family is one of the things he cares the most about. He is really popular with girls but has been in love with Samantha since they were little kids (she also loves him but they are just too dumb to realize each other feelings so everyone has to silently face palm themselves while they go on about how they won't say anything because they don't wanna ruin their friendship).

Adrian Hanscom (17)

Adrian is loud and vibrant, he is openly gay and having Bev as his mom means he can always have clothes that scream his personality, never apologizing for who he is. At first glance people might say that he just wants to have fun all the time and doesn't think about the future but he is actually the one that worries the most about which path he wants to take because he doesn't really know what he truly loves or wants to do with life. He likes to experiment and try new things and has a closer relationship with Ruby and they are two vibrant puzzle pieces that belong together.

George Denbrough (17)

He is the quiet kid, loves to dance and plans to do it professionally in the future. He is closer to Samantha and Anne but adores Adrian, and might have a little crush on him if you ask the others. He loves musicals and cats and has a laughter that is always louder than anyone in the room, he adores his younger sister (i didn't put her on the list because she is not exactly a main character but she is 5 or 6) but has a hard time connecting with his parents. He is the person that you would go to if you wanted to talk about your feelings without being judged and without them giving you advice in return.

Samantha has anxiety but is in therapy and talks openly and healthy about it. George is currently pretty much depressed but believes that since he doesn't think he is clinically depressed and he doesn't "have reason to be depressed" he shouldn't worry his parents about it. Ruby has a bad relationship with food that her friends are trying to help her with.

Ideally this would be a Fix it fic, the Tozier-Uris kids decide to research about Derry and their parents past because they wanna learn more about the people their parents love and end up finding things that Mike missed because of bad translations and lack of information available at the time. They decide to go back and try to save Eddie and Stan and the other kids get involved and go with them.

Another idea i played with in my head was Eddie having his sperm conserved as a way to try to delay Myra "requests" (more like manipulative behavior) to have kids, and Myra finding a way to use his sperm some years later because she is lonely (this would be HIGLY unethical but hear me out). And while researching about Eddie, Anne finds out about his kid and decides to find him because she believes he would be important if they are really using magic for this. She ends up finding a way to work as a babysitter for Myra but the kid doesn't really communicate a lot with other people and hates physical touch (i thought about making him autistic but i would have to learn more about the spectrum to portrait it accurately) and she is actually not that good with children. So one time when she tries to get close to him he basically has a meltdown and she calls Samantha who actually knows how to help and ends up getting close to the kid with time passing. From that point forward Samantha always goes with Anne and while Anne is researching about Derry, Pennywise and the Tuttle she is playing with the kid and starts building a strong relationship with him, teaching him what real family should feel like, not something overbearing and stressful but unconditional love, support and mutual understanding.

I don't know if i people would read this, specially since the main characters wouldn't be the Losers so please let me know your thoughts in the comments. Thank you :))

#reddie #it 2019 #it stephen king #It #richie tozier #richie trashmouth #Eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #stan uris #beverly marsh #ben hanson #mike hanlon #fix it fanfiction #Richiexeddie #I would really appreciate if you commented because i am super lost

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himbo-the-clown · 4 years

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I know you didnt write the post and while I agree that Anne Frank shouldnt have been talked in the way she is now, how can saying “Gay people were just as much victims as Jews” be antisemitic? LGBT people were rounded up and placed in concentration camps as well. For example, look up the meaning for the pink triangle, it was reserved ranking for gay men in these camps. Even when gay/trans people were liberated, they were placed in jail soon after because it was illegal in those times.

I’m going to try so very very hard to come at this response in a calm way under the assumption that you are trying to learn and aren’t intentionally being rude. It’s a very touchy subject for me given how often Jewish experiences with oppression are erased, so I’m sorry if anything I say comes off as angry or rude. I’m mad at the culture that taught you this misinformation, not at you for asking about it.

I have a few basic points to respond to this with, but first I need you to know that the perspective I’m coming at this from is as a queer Jew with a degree in Gender and Sexuality Studies. I’m gay, I’m Jewish, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that goyische gay people are not allowed to claim the holocaust the way Jewish people are.

1. During the Holocaust

Queer people were killed in the holocaust. They were sent to camps. They were arrested. However... the scale of deaths is incomparable. Here are some of the rough numbers we have for victims of the holocaust:

5,000,000 - 6,000,000 Jews

130,000 - 500,000 Romani

270,000 disabled people

80,000 - 200,000 Freemasons

5,000 - 15,000 gay people

Do you know who the Freemasons are? They’re a fratenal organisation. They’re a fraternity. They were killed because the Nazis claimed they were part of “the Jewish Conspiracy”. Many more Freemasons were killed than gay people, so where’s all your hype for including Freemasons in holocaust history and letting Freemasons claim victimhood in the holocaust? Or, perhaps, do you understand that 15,000 is a very different number than 6,000,000 or 500,000?

2. Intergenerational Trauma

Intergenerational trauma was specifically coined in response to Jewish trauma after the holocaust. Goyische gay people just don’t have that trauma. I have nightmares about digging my own grave, being forced into gas chambers, hiding in attics. The holocaust traumatised me. It’s traumatised my family, my friends, my community. Goyische gay people just don’t fucking have that. If you want a fraction of a glimpse of what that trauma is like, I wrote a poem about it on my writing blog. The holocaust is deeply ingrained in us in a way it just isn’t for goyische gays.

Jews have family we know people personally who were affected by it. Whose grandparents were refugees, whose families died, who were torn apart by it. This is our family history. We are all, in some way or another, related to a survivor or a victim. This isn’t some hypothetical history, this follows us. It defines us.

3. The Present Effects

Here’s the thing that rubbed me the wrong way about your message. The assumption that I don’t know holocaust history. That I don’t know about the pink triangle or any other part of the holocaust. Because you’re coming from a point of immense privilege as a goy. Do you know how young I was when I started learning about the holocaust? So young I don’t even remember it. I’ve known about it for my whole memorable life. As a Jew I’ve had to learn about it inside out, because it’s an ingrained part of my culture and my people now, as sad as that is. We don’t have the privilege of not knowing about the holocaust, of not learning about every single detail of the horrors committed then. Antisemitism has been around for as long as Jews have and if we don’t learn about it all, we’re not safe from the next time goyim decide to try genociding us again. And they always try again.

While Christian kids are off learning about how Santa comes to bring presents to good little children, Jewish kids are taught about how grandma and grandpa had to leave all their things behind and run through the woods of Poland for weeks only to get caught by the Nazis and made to work. And how they were the lucky ones because they lived. We have to learn about Great Aunt Golda starving to death in Gross-Rosen, about Great Uncle Joseph’s body being burned in Bergen-Belsen. Long before most queer people even know what gay means, we’re learning about our families dying. Can you see how that’s different? Can you see how differently it affects us?

The first time I realised being Jewish wasn’t the norm was when a kid told me the holocaust was our punishment for killing Jesus. I was in kindergarten. My first experience of a goy was being told my family deserved to die in the holocaust. I’ve been called Anne Frank, I’ve had people joke about gassing me, I’ve had people try to carve swastikas into me with a knife. And all of that happened long before I even knew what a gay person was let alone that I am one. Jewish and goyische gay experiences of the holocaust are not the same, not even close.

So yes, a gay goy saying that gay people were just as much victims as my people were is antisemitic. Because it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the Jewish experience of the holocaust, an unwillingness to learn about Jewish oppression, and a complete and utter disregard for the Jewish people and our struggles. Because if you’d spent even a fraction of the time it took you to learn about gay oppression during the holocaust to look into Jewish oppression anywhere and at any time, you would already know that it’s not the same and you wouldn’t have had to put a Jewish person through the emotional labour of having to explain Jewish trauma to you.

Also, minimizing the harm to Jews and Romani people in the holocaust is explicitly an alt-right tactic that goes hand in hand with holocaust denial, so when you try to put us on par with people who were significantly less affected by it than we were, just know that those are the people you’re keeping company with. I don’t think that’s what you’re trying to do, but just be careful because that’s where this line of thinking heads.

#judaism #jewish #shoah #the holocaust #antisemitism #Anonymous #sorry this anger isn't specifically supposed to be directed at anon #it's just a very touchy subject that hurts a lot of Jewish people #and I've had this argument with too many gay goyim who were antisemitic #feel free to reblog this #דיברתי

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silverbastardgoldenfool · 5 years

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Realm of the Elderlings Ask Meme Thing

Created by @hermitknut and brought back by @elderling-magic

Thanks @blackandwhitemotley for tagging me :) this is gonna be unnecessarily long because I’m a messy bitch with too many feelings and not enough brain cells

Favourite RotE Book: God it’s impossible to choose properly so let’s just go with the one that always gives me flashbacks when I see it on my bookshelf: Golden Fool

Why: I was already deeply obsessed at this point and had laughed, cried and panicked countless times throughout the series BUT Golden Fool stands out because of the Fitz/Fool confrontation which all but gave me a panic attack. Sure, I’ve been overly invested in book characters my whole life but the fact I was like physically fuckin sweating just because these guys were having a verbal fight, which had nothing to do with the actual plot, is fuckin wild my dude. Also despite my distress I was thrilled in a way because I never expected Robin to address the homoerotic tension in the actual text - and I was even more impressed that she makes the Fool the winner in this fight. You feel for him (ouch!!!!!!!!) but he gets the last word and the whole time you’re on his side and wishing Fitz would just keep his goddamn mouth shut (unless he’s gonna use it to kiss the Fool). She makes you empathise with the Fool without compromising his dignity, without making him a pathetic pining gay stereotype. He is hurt, he is human, but Fitz is the fool in this exchange (forgive the unintentional pun). It’s crazy how this one scene defines this whole huge book for me but it overwhelmingly does. Man it fucked me up.

Top Three Favourite Characters: I’m excluding Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes cos that’s just a given honestly and there are too many incredible characters to choose from. Also I’m going to choose three characters I think are exceptional on a technical level since that’s the easiest way for me to pick a few out.

1. Burrich - Forever fascinating to me because I disagree with him probably more often than not AND YET I love him so much. It’s seriously like I have the same relationship with him that Fitz does - and/or the same relationship many of us have with father figures. That weird thing where you can fundamentally disagree on some pretty important stuff, and he makes a lot of mistakes and probably irrevocably fucked you up in a lot of ways but you can’t help but love him because you know he’s not doing anything from a place of malice or pettiness or selfishness. He simply knows what he believes and is righteous to a fault. He’s always doing his best - whatever that looks like to him. There are so many things he says or does that make me amazed that I don’t hate him. I think in another series he is the kind of character I would hate. The fact that Robin makes me love him - and conflicted about that love - is a marvel.

2. Malta - I won’t harp on about this too much because we all know the deal. Malta’s early POVs were a tween nightmare. I had to skim them because they were so viscerally irritating. I guess it’s a huge testament to the writing that it really did feel like you were stuck in a tween girl’s head; the problem is that is the worst hell imaginable. It’s an even greater testament to the writing that, through some of the most masterful character development I have ever witnessed, you actually end up loving this girl.

3. Kennit - He’s such a monster that I hate actually saying he’s one of my favourite characters but it’s true. Especially from a writing perspective; it’s fucking witchcraft how Robin has you judging everyone around Kennit for falling for his charms even while you are in some way charmed by him. He’s intelligent, charismatic, enigmatic. You know he’s not a good person yet you enjoy spending time with him, you’re kind of rooting for him just because he’s interesting and you want to see what he’s going to do next. You even know - the narration straight up tells you - that most of his successes are down to pure dumb luck yet we still kind of buy into this persona of his. Absolutely brilliant writing. Not to mention his backstory, which is so tragic and compelling, and manages to explain his actions without excusing them. Without a doubt one of my top five favourite villains of all time.

Top Three Least Favourite Characters: Okay so again going for the writing angle; characters I just felt weren’t handled all that well on a technical level. Keep in mind that this is suuuuuper subjective. Also I can only think of two.

1. Molly - I’ve seen a lot of people assume that people who dislike her feel that way because she “gets in the way” of Fitz/Fool but that’s not true for me. I’ll try and keep this shortish because I have way too many feelings about this topic lol. Having read the whole series I wouldn’t change anything, but for a long time I really felt like the story would have been better if she wasn’t in it, or especially if she had not come back after Assassin’s Quest. Maybe that’s harsh, but I honestly just generally dislike the whole “first love, last love” trope (and in my personal experience have found it v toxic). I never found her character particularly engaging, but by the end of Farseer I had made my peace with her role in Fitz’s story; the way I saw it, she represented the life Fitz wanted but could never have. Of course you could argue then that it makes sense for Fitz to get her back once he is allowed to have a window of normal life - and that would be true EXCEPT the whole reason I saw her as a symbol and not a real love interest was because their relationship was TERRIBLE. It was seriously toxic and literally based on lies. I really felt what would have been healthy for Fitz at the end of Tawny Man would have been to find peace in realising that Molly was his past, not his future, and that what they’d had was teenage lust and not the stuff of soulmates. I don’t like the implication that Fitz was right to idealise this tumultuous, dishonest, immature relationship he had as a teenager all these years. Honestly this is why I was FURIOUS when I finished Fool’s Fate lol, even though I knew this wasn’t the ultimate ending. Now that I know where Robin went with this and that Fitz wasn’t really fulfilled in his life with Molly I don’t mind it as much but I still don’t love it. There was never enough of an honest, genuine, selfless connection established between the two of them for it to feel like anything other than an unhealthy fixation that Fitz projected all his unattainable fantasies onto. He never seemed to see Molly as a fully realised person which made it hard for me to do so. Also seriously, if I had been pining after my high school fling for the last ten years everyone would agree that the best thing for me would be to move on, not get back together with them. I’m not saying Fitz didn’t deserve his little bracket of peaceful years, but it just didn’t have to be with Molly. Sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted is the happy ending - I guess it’s just really jarring in a series that’s generally so subversive to get a standard fantasy trope like this. I really truly was shocked when Fitz got his feelings back from the stone dragon and his realisation was not “Molly is kind of just a girl I used to know a long time ago and our paths have long since diverged” but “yes no actually that girl I haven’t talked to in over a decade is my soulmate” like, wig in the worst way. ALSO SHE WAS FUCKING HIS DAD ALL THAT TIME. SHE BORE HIS DAD CHILDREN. HIS DAD HAD TO DIE SO THEY COULD BE TOGETHER. BRUH. Seriously it did feel like Burrich was sacrificed solely so these two little shits could get back together, and again, that was so infuriating and so not like these books. This and Burrich not being canonically in love w Chivalry are the only two points I actually get riled up about from a writing/critical perspective lol, every other flaw and quirk in this series I will absolutely pardon but for some reason these just get to me dude.

2. Starling - Promise this one is simpler lol. I always found Starling quite irritating “as a person” but didn’t mind her as a character. What I didn’t love was the way her lifestyle (promiscuity, independence, nomadic etc.) was kind of justified when it didn’t need to be, with the typical explanation that she’s only like this because she can’t have kids. It just felt really unnecessary, and it was even worse when she did get pregnant and basically just became a completely different person. But I’m generally touchy when it comes to female characters and fertility/pregnancy storylines as I just feel like they’re rarely done well. And I just really don’t like it when infertility is implied as a justification for character traits (usually traditionally male traits) that don’t need justifying.

Favourite Ship (of the floating kind): Paragon of course, we love a problematic fave.

Top Three Favourite Ships (of the people kind): Fitz/Fool, Sedric/Carson, Althea/Brashen (the only heteros whomst deserve rights)

Would you rather be Witted or Skilled: Honestly wouldn’t want either but if I had to choose I guess the Wit? I’d much rather be inside an animal’s head than another human’s no thanks bb

If you were Witted, what animal would you bond with?: If I’m still living in my current situation in this hypothetical then I guess a house cat. If I really get to go wild then I am absolutely bonding with a big cat, like a tiger or a panther IMAGINE THE SNUGGLES.

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six Duchies, Bingtown, the Rain Wilds, Kelsingra, Jamaillia, the Pirate Isles, or Fool’s Homeland?: Dude I am so bad at visualising locations so idk lol, I guess queer utopia Kelsingra although obviously it has its drawbacks.

How were you introduced to the books? My mum had been telling me for years that if I liked A Song of Ice and Fire I would like Realm of the Elderlings. I was putting it off because there are so many books and I also knew how much she loved them so I was worried I wouldn’t like them and she’d be let down. But I eventually got so close to rereading ASOIAF (which I swore I wouldn’t do til Winds of Winter is released) that I decided to finally give RotE a go in its stead.

Share a quote you love: I don’t have a book on me rn but that part in Fool’s Errand when Fitz is talking about how the Fool has wandered into the place he’s been living for years and immediately, effortlessly made it a home is TENDERNESS BEYOND COMPARE ARE YOU KIDDING.

Tagging: if you see this and haven’t done it yet, consider yourself tagged!

Take the thing, copy and paste it into your own post, tag it “elderlings” and then tag as many people as you can that you know in the fandom.

#rote #Realm of the Elderlings #robin hobb

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askanaroace · 5 years

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So I was reading this awesome aromantic roundtable led by one of the editors, writers and creators - Claudie Arseneault - of the upcoming Common Bonds Anthology (which did get fully funded, if you remember its kickstarter!), and early on, there was a question proposed about everyone’s favorite platonic relationships in media, and it got me thinking. At first, I couldn’t even think of any platonic relationships. Too much pressure! And I wasn’t a part of the roundtable, LOL. But I’ve been stewing on it for the day now, and I want to share some of my favorite platonic relationships in media to help celebrate them!

Christina Yang and Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy)

The friendship that, from what I knew, spawned the “my person” trend. The unlikely friendship that grew from similar ambition and mutual respect of knowledge and skill. Christina and Meredith were always there for each other through everything. At the end of the day, they were there for each other. Sandra Oh leaving Grey’s Anatomy was a huge blow to me because this duo is an extremely important female friendship. These women compete with each other, but they use that ambition to better themselves. They don’t cut each other down to get ahead. They don’t mistreat each other for the attention of men. They’re not just misogynistic tropes that men write a lot. They’re real, complex, beautiful, wonderful women. And they’re not very touchy-feely, but you can still see and feel the depths of how much they care for each other. They’re extremely important for me as a person who’s fairly touch averse and slogged through friendships with people who literally used the word “train” to describe their invasion of my boundaries, as in training me to stand their touch.

Carla Espinosa and Elliot Reid (Scrubs)

A slow-burn friendship that grew out of the embers of conflict and annoyance for each other. This relationship is important to me because it’s a very similar relationship that I had with one of the very best friends I’ve ever had. Like Elliot, she was well-meaning and wanted to be friends. Like Carla, I had a hard time putting my defenses down and it didn’t help that I found her eagerness annoying. But through a ridiculous - and looking back on it, hilarious - situation, we did become friends, just like Carla and Elliot. This friendship shows growth. I love how Carla and Elliot didn’t just become friends at first sight. We see them work on fostering their relationship and working to re-connect later in the series when they’ve become distracted by other things going on in their life.

John Dorian aka JD and Chris Turk (Scrubs)

It’s so refreshing and wonderful to see such a close male friendship on TV between two men who, even if one sometimes struggles with it or just struggles to admit it, are vulnerable with each other. Turk and JD are so close, and their relationship is often lovingly teased for seeming so romantic. This friendship breaks barriers of what platonic relationships really can be. It’s a great example of how much two friends can love each other and how important friendships can be. It’s a celebration of platonic love in a world where platonic love is often downplayed and dismissed in favor of romantic relationships.

John Dorian aka JD and Carla Espinosa (Scrubs)

Honestly, Scrubs is just a goldmine of different types of relationships, of celebrating them and understanding them and exploring them. I miss this show so much; it was a gift in so many ways. JD and Carla are so sweet with each other. I especially love how good of friends they are, and it never becomes romantic with them. There’s never a will-they, won’t-they between them. They drunkenly kiss once and both of them find it awkward and weird. They’re friends, and there is no “more” than that for them. Their friendship is something to be celebrated and nurtured. It’s meaningful, and I love it.

Liz Ortecho and Maria DeLuca (Roswell, New Mexico)

I’m not even fully through this show yet, and Liz and Maria are just so wonderful and heartwarming to watch. Their friendship is not the focus of the show, but what we see of it is strong and supportive and just makes me plain happy to see. (((SPOILERS))) [When they’re starting to think Maria may be the murderer, Liz vehemently defends her and knows she can’t be the killer. In this day and age of grim and gritty shows, it would have been easy to let Liz doubt Maria and grow suspicious of her. Instead, she stayed true to their friendship.] (((END SPOILERS))) Just the small ways in which they support each other are really great, too, like when Liz lays her head on Maria’s shoulder for comfort.

Okoye and T’Challa (Black Panther)

Everything in Black Panther was so well done. It’s absolutely a movie that showcased and celebrated so many different kinds of healthy relationships: platonic, familial, romantic... It was part of the draw of all the protagonists. I especially love Okoye and T’Challa, though. That moment when T’Challa’s story really begins and we see Okoye playfully teasing T’Challa about the mission stole my heart. Okoye isn’t just a bodyguard, and T’Challa isn’t just a leader. They are truly friends. They know each other extremely well. They’re friendly and familiar with each other, again, in a way that’s never meant to be leading up to romance. They just have such familiarity and comfort with each other that even without any backstory, it’s clear to us all how important they are to each other.

Leslie Knope and Ann Perkins, Leslie Knope and Donna Meagle, Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford, Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson, Ron Swanson and April Ludgate (Parks and Rec)

Honestly, I never planned on even watching Parks and Rec. Then one day I was out of shows to catch up on and nothing sounded interesting and Parks and Rec had a lot of seasons that could keep me busy, and I fell in love despite thinking I’d hate the show. Leslie and Ann were the first friends to pop into my head, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how many amazing friendships were in this show, and I couldn’t pick. But considering how many it is, I didn’t want to separate them all out. Anyway, we all need a good humor once in a while, and Parks is Rec is one of those I’ll keep coming back to when I need something to cheer me up. A lot of these friendships are established at the beginning of the show, but we also get to watch a lot of them grow and evolve. I love all the different ways they support each other, from Leslie’s blatant showering of love and affection with words and physical touch and gifts to Donna and Tom encouraging each other to just do something for themselves to Ron and April’s stoic but deeply caring relationship and walkaround communication. They’re all such strong and different personalities, yet they come together in this beautiful melding of hope and optimism. Throughout it all, they never lose their individuality or sense of self, and that’s what makes them love each other even more.

Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribbiani (Friends)

There’s a lot to be said about Friends and a lot of it is bad, but I’ve always loved Phoebe and Joey. I love their casual flirtation with each other. These two can say pretty much anything to each other, even the weirdest stuff, with basically no judgement. They have the sweetest, funniest moments when it’s just the two of them, when they can be unabashedly themselves in front of each other.

Rowan Northwood and Rán (Dragonoak trilogy)

I love Rowan and Rán separately and I love them together. Rán is just so friendly and open, you can’t help but immediately fall in love with her. She becomes someone Rowan can really lean on, and she’s Rowan’s teacher in many ways about the wider world than the one she grew up in. By the end of the trilogy, their friendship has grown into something that seemed really reminiscent to me of a queerplatonic relationship. We get to follow the journey of them meeting and becoming friends and growing to really love and support each other more and more throughout the series. Honestly, they’re like a warm hug or freshly baked plate of cookies.

Zélie Adebola and Roën (Children of Blood and Bone)

Two people with very different experiences and backgrounds who have both experienced deep pain and loss and have a pretty tragic backstory. They’ve ended up coping with these experiences in pretty different ways. Zélie has become extremely passionate and serious, and in the beginning, she’s always ready for a fight. Roën is a charmer who is more likely to use humor and quick wit to cope. Yet they can share really intimate moments of understanding between each other as they get to know and really understand who the other person is. There’s definite chemistry between them. They’re both extremely magnetic personalities who dominate the pages they share together.

Jamie and Hazel (Girls with Slingshots)

I think I originally checked out this webcomic after hearing it had an asexual character. Though the comic has a lot of sex and sex jokes, I immediately fell in love with it, and that was absolutely a result of the friendship between the upbeat, cutie Jamie and cynical, pessimist Hazel. So many different aspects of their personalities and relationship reminded me of me and my friend, though it was different aspects of both of them that represented both of us. Jamie and Hazel were really the first friends I read about who could be so open with each other no matter the subject. My friends and I in HS all gravitated towards each other because we were closeted/unknowing queer kids. As a result, we went through our teenage years pretty repressed. Sex jokes were made, but none of us were seriously talking about or even considering sex. My friend was totally embarrassed and ashamed to admit that she masturbated, and it wasn’t because she felt awkward that I was asexual. Seeing the totally open and unashamed relationship between Jamie and Hazel taught me a lot and broke down a lot of social barriers I hadn’t realized existed. I love how well these two totally different people could work with each other.

Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir (Community)

I was super late to the Community bandwagon, but glad I decided to give it a watch, anyway! Who couldn’t love the totally weird duo of Troy and Abed who loved just getting weird, doing shenanigans, and performing bits with each other? Another great example of two people very different from each other just finding this innate bond with each other and truly taking joy in each other’s company. Watching them have fun together is a treat; it’s just plain fun to see how much fun they can have doing the silliest, even rather meaningless, things.

Anyway, I’ve been working on this post for a while now, it’s already very long, and I need to go to bed, so I’m going to stop here!

Please feel free to add your own favorite platonic relationships to this post! From any medium! You don’t have to write as much as I did! Just naming them is fine! Let’s celebrate platonic relationships in all their glory. o3o

#aromantic #aro #platonic relationships #representation #friendships #long post #platonic positivity #positivity #not ask

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kastartss · 6 years

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I really need help with my mental health condition, please take your time to read my story (if you are willing to only)

Here’s an introduction. Hey, my (not real) name is Kat. I’m 14 (yes, I know, a literal fetus) and I’m from Vietnam.

Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety, and honestly, I was not surprised. But then the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have had it for almost my entire life, and I have only been around for 14 years. I felt my social anxiety kick in when I was about in year one in primary school. I remember how bubbly I was of a toddler, always waving and saying hi to adults in my neighborhood. But then I went to school and things changed. I got 2 close friends, let’s call them A and P. I hung out with them, but before I had those two friends, I never recall being in a place without friends. In kindergarten, as far as I could remember, I have many friends. So when I go to school for the first time, I didn’t have close friends. I was still bubbly at the time, talking to kids in my class, but in break time, I have no one to talk with. Even after I got A and P as my friends, sometimes they would gang up on me and I would have total breakdowns and sitting alone, feeling betrayed because no one likes me.

I think that's when I started being less of an exuberant child. I noticed that I have stopped waving to adults, I became more terrified of being around strangers or performing on stage (which was a thing I did all the time in kindergarten). And as time goes on, I develop the fear of trivial things, getting worried every time I go on a trip or holiday (eg. fear that the plane will crash, fear that there would be tsunami at the beach, etc.) or having existential crisis or death related worries. And then when I reach grade four, I got my first crush, I spent all night crying because wow, new emotion unlocked. He’s this sporty boy, sitting next to me in classes, and guess what? He had a crush on my then best friend. I slowly realize, when I reach secondary school, that I am less valuable than many.

On the second week of sixth grade (secondary school), I had a mental breakdown and I stayed in the bathroom for the entire English lit lesson. The teachers found me, but I couldn’t explain why I ran away. I found it too embarrassing. I ran away because every seats next to a girl is taken and I would’ve had to sit next to this big, scary boy. I didn't know why I felt that way, why I panicked over such a small and stupid thing, but that night I went home, told my mom school’s fine, and found a knife to just end myself.

But of course I didn’t. I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid of seeing the life leaving my body. And I remember my mom telling me my life is the most important thing I have.

The reason I’m afraid of getting hurt is pretty damn simple: my mom hit me all the time as a kid. I’m not traumatized by it. But do I cry at night, getting upset and guilty about the things I did to deserve it? Yes, yes I did. But did I think much of it or find ways to stop getting hit? No, no I didn't. I got hit all the time for lying, for not obeying, for being lazy. But my mom really loves me, she does. She yelled at me, she slapped me, she threw books at my face, humiliated me sometimes in public, and hit me with broomsticks and clothes hangers because she said “she wanted the best for me”. She wanted me to change for the better but haha jokes on her, the more she hit me the more stubborn I get. And so update: I’m still getting hit by her for doing shits recently. I have questioned if it’s abusive or not, because I know she got anger issues and she said that herself, to not let her get angry. But in my country, getting hit by your moms is like a casual thing. It’s like depression jokes, we joke about our fucked up mental health and in my place we joke about getting hit my our moms. It's too common that I don't know if it’s abusive or not anymore, that’s one thing I need help on.

Back to the main story. So sixth grade is the time I start feeling conscious about my body. I’m gonna bluntly say this: my body is disproportionally fat. It was as a kid, and it still is now. My legs and arms are normal, not too skinny, but normal, but my body, the torso and chest area, oh boy, that's where all the fat is. If my body fat is spread out evenly, I wouldn’t have complained, it would be beautiful. But despite how much I tried, the fat would only be in that area, and I look ugly in everything. I got self conscious when we did a movie project, I got self conscious when I have to wear stage costumes, and I start acknowledging that I’m not the popular girl. I don't get why girls my age use lipstick and make up, and how they have money to buy expensive clothes. I was naïve, and I wanted to be like them: popular and valued by people. I was the wallflower, no one knows me except my few friends and I don't expect them to. I started developing a mindset that no one remembers me, and I’m insignificant.

Grade seven, I changed school. And it’s when I found out about fandoms. I liked Harry Potter, and I wrote some fanfictions that one of my friends encourage me to post it on Wattpad, so I did. That’s when I made internet friends, and I got exploited to issues like lgbtqa+, pop culture, and mental health. One of my internet friends, let’s call her W, is queer and got depression. That’s when I started digging deep in these issues, learning about mental health and how to help people with them. And that’s when I start realizing I may have a mental health problem. W attempted suicide last year, in 2017. Fortunately, she survived. I had spent many nights texting her out of it, cheering her up, and the more I’m around her, the more I discover about myself.

This year, I’ve learnt things about myself that I would've had no idea about two years ago. I identify as bisexual, and thinking about a year ago, I still thought being gay is unfortunate. In my country, same sex marriage is legal, but is not very welcomed by the people and is considered a touchy subject. Many consider it an illness and pity people whom identify as such. Generally, no one really cares until it’s their children. My mom didn't like it. She thinks it’s a phase (classic.) and being bi would bring disadvantages to my life (she’s very wrong I daresay it’s literally 20gayteen and two women from the Bachelor Vietnam just ditched the guy for each other???) and that makes me doubt if my mom is ever right (she’s very convincing in most situations, unfortunately).

I also learnt about my anxiety, like I noted. Two weeks ago, I seek help from the school counselor after being tempted to kill myself out of pure self hate. I have had extreme self hate for the last month but I thought it’s normal. One event that lead to me thinking this way is that one fight I had with my parents that my mom threatened to jump off the window to die and to leave the house forever, she said how terrible I am and I felt like being slapped across the face being it just hit me then: I am terrible. When I was younger I thought people don't like me because im ugly and I really wanted them to like me for my personality. But then the fight happen and I found out: im ugly both inside and outside. That’s when I started to lose hope, my grades (which was going bad before) got worse and when I got a bad result for maths finals, I got devastated and got a panic attack. I climbed to the tallest floor in my school building and lie there, falling asleep and let my mind shut down. My plan was to jump off the building and end my life but the door to outside was locked so I just curled up there and cry. I got found two hours later, and the teachers told me absolute bullshit because my country is absolutely obsolete about mental health.

It just got worse and worse since March. My mom says I should stop being lazy, stop procrastinating, be more productive and I hate being at home, because my mom use my bedroom as her workplace and I have no privacy. I have to face my mom all day in summer, and that drove me crazy. Even when I had the chance to go to England for a month for summer camp, I still feel insignificant and lonely when I stare at the crowds being happy. My anxiety is super clear, but oh boy how funny I was.

I thought I was faking it. I thought all of this is me wanting people to pity me, so I have to fake my anxiety and depression. Most of the times I look up for symptoms of depression and anxiety, I hope those symptoms match. Because I wanna be right, I don't wanna be an attention seeker, I want something to blame for my behaviors.

All the tests I took for depression tell me I have severe depression. But some days I don't feel down or anything. I just felt fine, and deep down I feel guilty for not caring, because does this mean i’m faking my mental illness oh my god. I have a girlfriend. We broke up once, and now we are talking again. She’s in America and we only can text each other, but I don't feel like im ever good enough for her. All I feel is self hate and unworthiness.

This is the thing I want you guys to help me about: Do I really have these mental illnesses? Am I making it up? Am I just paranoid and crave attention?

The thing that makes me doubting myself is the fact that around me, many kids are raised like me. Being hit my their moms, have the same education, but they’re not depressed. they don't have social anxiety. They’re doing alright. So I’m afraid this is because I got myself into this myself by going on the internet and reading about gay shits and befriend depressing people and got this myself. I’m afraid I’m making this up to be relevant.

Please help me with this, or just reblog to help me find an answer. I’m so sorry I’m wasting your time. But please, I need to find myself. I don't want to feel suicidal again.

#please help #please #really I need help #mental health #mental health support #depression #anxiety #abuse #attention seeker is that me???#self hatred #what am I doing with life #existential crisis #at its finest

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beinglibertarian · 5 years

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Onward, Collectivist Soldiers

As I contemplate where I fit in my current relation to the State and its politically-correct and uptight sycophants, I realize not much has changed since Catholic school. If I benefited at all from the tutelage of nuns, it’s in being able to identify when I’m being indoctrinated or hoodwinked.

The first few years of my scholastic career were spent at a Catholic school in New Jersey. It was there that I, along with other kids with last names like O’Dowd, Vigliotti, Rispoli, and Gomez, were first introduced to the doctrine of original sin.

Sister Nazarene told us a sin was whenever a person did something wrong. God would not like it if we sinned, and if we sinned, he would damn well know all about it. You couldn’t hide from God. Apparently, a really long time ago this guy Adam and this broad Eve did something so bad that we, the first grade class of St. Francis Albert of Hoboken School, were guilty of it too.

As unreasonable as this seemed at the time, we were taught to understand that God was really pissed off. And touchy.

You see, before the beginning of time, God spent a whole summer making this place called the Garden of Eden for Adam and Eve. Eden was this groovy resort where people could just relax forever and ever, just as long as they behaved. By and by, good ol’ human imperfection had its way, and Adam and Eve goofed up. God was so hurt and insulted that he decided from that moment on that every Vigliotti, O’Dowd and Ferrara, as well as the Changs, Goldbergs and Patels, would be culpable for what those two Biblical miscreants did. Forever and fucking anon. He was God, after all.

Do you know what the transgression was? What Adam and Eve did that was so damned bad? They ate an apple. Not just any apple, but a super apple that had magic powers. Some wiseguy who looked like a snake called Satan told them to do it. He beguiled them. Sister Nazarene said that to beguile someone was like tricking them. As I recall, many us felt at that moment that we were being beguiled too. But God help ya if you asked any questions, or wanted clarification. You’d get a smack on the knuckles with a ruler faster than you can say Galileo Galilei.

Anyway, after they ate it — the apple, that is — Adam and Eve became smart. Turns out, God didn’t like smart people. Folks like that might want to find a meaning for things. They might find joy and fulfillment in intellectual pursuits, or in the labor of their discoveries. They might want to build stuff, make tools and what not, and shape the world according to their needs, according to their vision.

“Bullshit,” said God. “That’s my department. Who in the Hell do you bipedal monkeys think you are, muscling in on my action? From now on, your lives will be hard and mean and your kids will have it hard too. Now get out of here and don’t come back!”

This was called the expulsion from paradise. God did not like competition. When we would grow up, we would find out that most people don’t like competition either.

As we matriculated — that is to say once we got to the second, and then third grade — some of us Catholic kids started to think that all this original sin jazz was nothing but a bunch of malarkey. We looked for a Garden of Eden on the globe in our classroom and found none. We read up on snakes. They can’t talk, let alone beguile. Apples, while having some nutritional value, can’t make you any smarter than a rap on the head with a ball peen hammer.

Then, somewhere along the way, we were taught that this other guy, Jesus, died for all of our sins, lock, stock and fucking barrel.

“What gives?” we wondered. “How can there be original sin and Jesus too?”

We had a lot of trouble wrangling with this paradox. Mrs. Alverone, our third grade teacher, said a paradox was when something didn’t really make sense. And how!

Eventually, due to either boredom or mental exhaustion, all of us kids gave up our pursuit for the truth in favor of more lofty pastimes like dodge ball, smear the queer, and pouring salt on slugs. Halcyon days!

Still, it bothered me: being guilty of, and then having to atone for, things I didn’t do, couldn’t do, wouldn’t do, and had nothing to do with. A few months later I broached the subject again with my pals.

“Maybe original sin is just a way to remind us all that people are imperfect beings,” Crazy Dominick said while burning some ants with a magnifying glass.

“Well, shit,” I said. “You don’t need Biblical scripture to teach you that. Just look at how Fat Arnie swings a whiffle ball bat: just like a girl. And what about Jackie Smith dropping that pass in the end zone during the Super Bowl? And just look at how corny M*A*S*H has gotten since Alan Alda took over.”

Indeed it was a world fraught with imperfection. All we kids could do was observe, contemplate, and avoid the wrath of the nuns by never getting caught doing anything fun.

More and more it began to dawn on me that teaching us that we were all born guilty was just another way for the church to keep folks in line.

Think about it: if you’re constantly apologizing, you’ll never have time to do much of anything else, especially disobey, think critically, or pursue your life’s ambitions. I guess I was a late bloomer, but by the time I was ten years old I came to the grim realization that people like holding dominion over one another, especially with vague concepts, opaque language, and moral absurdities. And if those methods won’t work, brute force and violence will do the trick just fine. “Miracle, Mystery and Authority,” as Dostoyevsky once put it.

It goes without saying that aside from those obligatory funerals and weddings that pop up from time to time, I haven’t willingly stepped into a church since Jimmy Carter cured cancer. The way I saw it, you should stay away from people who want you to feel bad. Little did I know, assholes abound.

Now listen: if you think that living in a world that has begun to cast aside archaic concepts from the early Mesozoic era will free you and me from the efforts of dimwits to encroach on your sovereignty through didactic chicanery, think again, tough guy. Plunderers of the spirit will always seek new and improved ways to turn their contempt for joy into a moral crusade. Why? Because people like fucking with other people, and the best way to fuck with someone is to defame them from up on high in the lofty strata reserved for those with a knack for judgment and a lack of self-awareness.

Nowadays, when I observe the world and the myriad discussions, arguments, diatribes, and commentaries that our fancy-pants, interconnected culture is heir to, I see new versions of the old skullduggery popping up all the time. And so do you.

Aren’t terms like “privilege”, “cis-gendered”, “patriarchy”, “carbon footprint”, “intolerance”, “unfairly disadvantaged”, “triggering” and the like, bandied about by people claiming a moral authority steeped in victimhood, just as sanctimonious and illegitimate as that of the church and its so-called divine morality? I’m not saying that all of those terms are inherently bad in and of themselves; a just and fair world is a thing to aspire to, just like a world free of sin and talking snakes is. If annoying, PC bromides help the cause, so be it. They won’t, but hey, don’t progressives need something to do too?

Where the trouble starts is when an elite class of people, the heads of civic organizations, the clergy, media dolts, or politicians throw condemnatory terms about in an arbitrary and self-serving manner to stifle anyone who disagrees with or challenges them, all in the name of righteousness. They think that by forcing dissenters into a posture of constant apology and atonement for intangible transgressions they can either alienate or eliminate them without the trouble of firing squads, cattle cars, inquisitions and re-education camps. Meet the new douchebags, same as the old douchebags. They’re just less blood-thirsty and well, kinda, wimpy.

In the world of the collectivist headcase, the collective is the Garden of Eden, and being met with the collective’s disapproval for things he may or may not have done, or advantages that he may or may not have, is akin to the expulsion from Paradise. But who told them we wanted to be part of their world anyway?

It wasn’t okay when the church thrust upon us their ecclesiastic version of a full nelson and it’s equally offensive when modern-day demagogues do the same with their new-fangled concepts of original sin. But I don’t blame stupid people for using shortcuts to thinking; that’s what dummies do. And I don’t blame connivers for selling snake oil. What pisses me off is when people who know better allow themselves to be pushed around by these turds and their lexicon of defeatism.

The bottom line: don’t let anybody make you feel guilty for your own life. Especially if the shame being thrust upon you is the last ditch tactic of an inferior mind that wishes to hold sway over you because their own existence is so damn uncompelling to them. That there is some bullshit.

As writing this article has now become a tedious affair, and in order to avoid being redundant, I have provided below a post-modern to Biblical translator. Those of you with even a modicum of parochial education will find it helpful… but if your parents were jerk-offs and you went to a Montessori school, then not so much. As it is incomplete, feel free to add your own variables and expressions. I hope this helps out. Extrapolate and deduce as you will, big shots.

Privilege = Original Sin

Reduce your carbon footprint = The Ten Commandments

Cis-gendered = Lust

Patriarchy = Sloth

Intolerance = Pride

Non-Vegan = Gluttony

Trigger = Wrath

Global Warming = The Flood

Climate Change = The Rapture

Bruce Jenner = Jesus

Oprah = God

Michael Moore = John the Baptist

Jordon Peterson = Satan

Individualist/Libertarian = Heretic

Bill Maher = Doubting Thomas

Ron Paul = Nebuchadnezzar

California = The Promised Land

Corey Booker = Moses

Taxes = Acts of Contrition

This article represents the views of the author, and not those of Being Libertarian LLC.

The post Onward, Collectivist Soldiers appeared first on Being Libertarian.

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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So Emotional (Sashea) Chapter 3 -MissChimKi

A/N: It’s been a minute. School has started full time for me again and I’m still working, but I’m going to try to update like every other week. I also have a few other projects I’m working on as well. I’m going to try to finish this before I start any other chaptered works though. Anyways I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Summary:

That wasn’t really the problem though. Sasha could admire the beauty of others without feeling attracted to them. Most of her friend group were beautiful queer girls and she hadn’t even thought about hooking up with them. The problem was her undeniable connection with Shea. In not even a month of knowing her it felt like a lifetime. Even though she didn’t know this huge part of Sasha’s life, she still knew about almost everything else. They related on a personal level that Sasha had never experienced with anyone else before. They could talk for hours on end and Sasha had never had a friend like her. .

In which Sasha and Shea are roommates for their freshman year of college and Sasha is a useless lesbian who doesn’t want Shea to know that and Shea is just trying to live her best Chicago life while being in NYC.

Sasha’s day to day routine was becoming second nature now. Almost a month into school and she finally felt like she had it down pat. It wasn’t necessarily hard, school had never been hard for her, but it was a lot. It required a delicate balance and Sasha could admit she was struggling with it a little. She hadn’t even visited Bob’s since school started.

It felt strange to her to be so close to home but also be completely cut off from it. She texted her dad every day and still sent snaps and memes to all her friends, but it wasn’t the same. She knew they missed her and she missed them, but she had to have her priorities in order if she wanted to be successful, which was definitely something she intended to be.

The way her schedule was set up, she consistently had 8am classes. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world because it meant she had plenty of time after her classes to get stuff done. She had fell into a routine of going to classes, studying and working out.

Spending time with Shea had become a constant as well. They got food and studied together almost every day. Shea understood her dark sense of humor and they could talk for hours on end. Sasha found herself getting less sleep at night because they would just stay up talking for hours. Luck was on her side with getting Shea as a roommate and now friend.

She had also been adopted into Shea’s friend group in a way. They spent a fair amount of time together and would always invite her when they met up for coffee or to study. She got along with all of them well considering they had just met. She even had a class with Trixie. The two of them sat in the back and made snide comments back and forth, trying to hide their obvious laughter.

She’d made friends in her other classes too. Given that she’d taken a lot of her general classes back in high school, she could jump straight into her major classes which had more upperclassmen in them. It was nice to be surrounded by people who cared about what they were majoring in and who probably wouldn’t be switching out anytime soon.

Her professors had been great too. Choosing a smaller, liberal arts college had been the right decision for her. She had professors that cared about their students for both her majors and it showed in how they taught. It was a completely different world from high school and she loved it. Raja, one of her art professors, was her absolute favorite. It was one of her 8am classes but she engaged the class still. Raja wasn’t too thrilled about the time either, always rushing in five minutes late, looking unruly in contrast to all of her pictures online. She made the class fun and Sasha was learning a lot from her even if it was an early class.

All in all, her life was going extremely well, but it could be better. Since coming out, Sasha had no intention of ever going back in the closet. Yet here she was, living her dreams but constantly feeling worried about her secret coming out. She hadn’t really admitted it to herself yet but the main reason she hadn’t gone to Bob’s was because she was embarrassed to admit how insecure she’d been. Those people were her family and she didn’t want to let them down.

So she kept that part of her life to herself and she threw herself into school and her new friends. It was almost too easy to keep it a secret. She tended to keep to herself anyway and was more reserved especially around new people. That meant it wasn’t a problem as long as no one who really knew her saw her.

She had managed to successfully avoid Dusty and Aquaria the whole time she’d been on campus. With both of them being in completely different majors she didn’t have to worry about having classes with them. Every time one of them asked to meet up with her it was easy enough to make an excuse about classes and whatnot. They knew how serious she was about school so it wasn’t that much of a lie, but she knew she could only keep up the rouse for so long. Luckily she knew they both had their own love lives to worry about which kept them fairly occupied for the time being.

Sasha sighed as her class was dismissed early. She hadn’t really been paying attention for most of it but she figured it couldn’t be too important. She could always ask one of her classmates for the notes if she needed to. It was her last class of the day and it was nearing lunchtime. She knew Shea had a break about now so she sent her a text asking if she wanted to meet up for lunch. They ate together pretty much every day sometimes multiple times a day depending on how their schedules lined up. It was nice having a friend she could always meet up with. Not that she minded eating alone but she didn’t mind the company either.

Shea responded quickly, saying that she’d meet her in the dining hall by Sasha’s class in five minutes. Sasha headed into the hall to find seats and grab her food while she waited for Shea. She had already started eating her salad when Shea walked in spotting her quickly, her face lighting up as she made her way over.

“Hey girl,” she greeted, setting her stuff down, “I’m absolutely starving, I’ll be back soon,” she made her way to pile her plate with food before returning to the table and digging in.

They chatted about their days and how much Shea couldn’t stand her mean design professor. “She bullied someone into dropping out the first week of classes. People are only staying in because they have to, and of course she’s supposedly the best teacher in the department. I think that’s bull,” Shea complained.

Sasha frowned, “You’ll have to give her an awful review at the end of the semester then,” she felt bad since she loved all of her professors.

Shea nodded, “I’m sure everyone has but everyone probably does well enough in the class for it to not make a difference.”

Sasha gave her a sympathetic look and they continued on with their meal. Shea telling her about the hot guy from her classes that was now hitting on her. Sasha felt some type of way about it. She knew it was jealousy but she couldn’t tell if she was jealous of the guy or that Shea could talk so openly about her love life. Sasha knew that was her own fault though and not really Shea’s. She kept quiet as Shea talked about it. Focusing a little too much on her food. Shea didn’t seem to pick up on it though, or if she did she didn’t comment on it which Sasha was grateful for.

Sasha changed the subject to Trixie once she was done, “She was texting Katya literally all period. It’s getting hard to watch. The poor girl is so in love that Katya has to know it doesn’t she?”

Shea shrugged, “You’d think but from what I’ve heard she’s either completely oblivious or just doesn’t want to hurt Trixie’s feelings.”

“It’s so sad. I really want to meet her. Trixie talks about her like she’s the whole world but I’d like to see for myself.” Sasha felt for the girl. At least Katya liked girls according to Trixie. Maybe that wasn’t great though because it made Trixie feel like she had more of a chance and Sasha didn’t want to see her hurt.

“Yeah I wouldn’t mind meeting her either so I can give her a piece of my mind,” Shea joked.

“That’s probably why she doesn’t want anyone meeting her. She’s afraid you’ll tell Katya all her secrets,” Sasha said, only half kidding.

Shea looked mock offended, “I would never. Kim on the other hand.”

“I wouldn’t put it past either of you, whether it’s on purpose or not. Clearly it means a lot to Trixie so I’m assuming if we do ever meet her it will be unplanned.”

Shea nodded as they stood up to put their plates away. “Do you want to go to the library to study with me? I have a quiz this afternoon that I need to review for.”

“Yeah, I’ll help you review if you need me to,” she offered, holding the door open for Shea to follow her out.

“You’re honestly the best. I don’t know what I would do without you,” Shea beamed giving her hand a quick squeeze. It was something Sasha had a hard time getting used to at first. Shea was definitely a touchy feely kind of friend. She loved to braid Sasha’s hair when they were talking or rest her head on her shoulder when they were watching Netflix. Sasha didn’t read too much into it though. This was how she was with her other friends too so it didn’t mean anything more than friendship.

They reached their favorite library quickly. It was on a far corner of campus and it was rarely busy. Typically they were the only ones in there which was nice. They never had trouble finding a study room.

They spent about an hour with Sasha quizzing Shea on the content. It was just for a general English class so none of the content was hard necessarily it was just a lot of memorization. At this point Shea pretty much had it down pat and they were just goofing around when Sasha heard her name being called. She turned around to see Aquaria standing there with an awkward smile on her face.

“Oh hey Aqua,” Sasha felt obligated to invite Aquaria to join them since she was one of her oldest friends. She had gone to school with Aquaria since she moved to New York. She had stayed by her side when Aquaria got kicked out of her home for being gay. The two were close friends and at some points in their relationship a little more. Sasha was a little relieved to see her friend but at the same time she didn’t really want her and Shea to interact.

Aquaria looked awkward as she moved to stand at the edge of the table but she smiled at her friend, “I thought you’d dropped off the face of the earth. I haven’t seen you since we’ve been here.”

Sasha felt bad but she plastered a fake smile on her face, “Yeah I know, school’s been kicking my ass. Basically all I do is go to class and study.”

Aquaria seemed to accept her answer, nodding sympathetically.

“Hey,” Shea interjected, “You’re in Miss Del Rio’s class aren’t you?” she asked Aquaria.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “What a bitch honestly,” she giggled, “sorry for not introducing myself, I’m Aquaria,” she had a worried loom on her face probably hoping that she didn’t insult Shea’s favorite teacher.

Shea took her extended hand, “I’m Shea, Sasha’s roommate.”

Aquaria nodded in understanding, still awkwardly standing at the end of their table.

“You can sit if you want, were just pretending to study at this point,” Sasha offered, noticing how she eyed Shea uncomfortably. Aquaria had never been good around strangers. It took forever for her to get comfortable with Sasha and now she never stopped talking but at first she hardly said anything.

Shea seemed to pick up on the tension, “I actually am going to head out. I want to get coffee before my quiz and I know how obnoxious those lines can be. I’ll see you back in the room,” she said goodbye to Sasha, “Nice actually meeting you, I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t stand Miss Del Rio,” she addressed Aquaria before heading out to the coffee shop.

Aquaria took her seat once she had left, “So that’s why you’ve been MIA then?” she raised a perfectly plucked brow.

Sasha rolled her eyes, “I’ve genuinely been busy. Adjusting to college hasn’t been a breeze,” she defended herself.

Aquaria put her hands up, surrendering, “It hasn’t been easy for me either and you’d know that had you been around.”

Sasha looked at the ground, guilt starting to eat at her, “I’m sorry Aqua, I really am. This has been a new beginning for me and I know I’ve been focusing so much on that that I left you and the others behind. I have to do better, I know.”

Aquaria gave her a sympathetic look, “We just miss you is all. It’s not the same there without you.”

Sasha nodded, “I miss everyone so much honestly.”

“You should come Saturday for open mic,” Aquaria pushed excitedly, “There’s a new girl that’s been coming and she’s absolutely amazing I think you’ll like her a lot.”

Sasha smiled back feeling Aquaria’s enthusiasm rubbing off onto her, “That sounds great, I’ll try to be there.”

Aquaria’s eyes narrowed, “You’ll try to be there or you will be there?” she pressed.

Sasha sighed, she really couldn’t put this off for any longer. It was truly shocking that she’d managed to go this long without going to the bar. “I’ll be there,” she decided, reveling in the genuine smile she got from Aquaria. Her friend had been through a lot and seeing her happy always lifted Sasha’s spirits.

“You can bring your roomie if you want,” Aquaria suggested.

Even the thought of doing that terrified Sasha. She was sure Shea and the rest of the girls would enjoy it especially since most of them were queer. It was different with Shea though because Sasha had to share a room with her for the rest of the year and Shea was straight. She didn’t want anything to be uncomfortable. She didn’t fall for straight girls, she knew better, but she would be lying if she said she had no attraction to Shea. Physically she was gorgeous. She pulled off every look she tried and Sasha envied her confidence.

“I’m not sure if it would be her scene,” she decided on saying.

Aquaria frowned, “Is she homophobic or something? You two seemed to get on so well I can’t imagine that she would be.”

Sasha shook her head, “It’s a little complicated. She doesn’t know I’m gay.”

“She is homophobic then?” Aquaria looked confused.

“I don’t think so. She has a lot of gay friends and seems completely okay with them, but it’s different with me because we’re roommates. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable,” Sasha explained.

Aquaria didn’t look any less confused, “Why would you being gay make her uncomfortable. If it did that would be her problem to deal with. The only issue would be if you’re attracted to her.”

Sasha hated that Aquaria could see right through her, “I’m not like in love with her or anything but she’s stunning it would be hard not to notice that.”

She didn’t miss the eye roll that Aquaria gave her. “That’s not how you are though. There’s plenty of beautiful girls that you don’t feel anything for but with her there’s something else or else you’d have just come out no problem,” Aquaria pointed out.

The thing was both girls were confident in their sexuality no matter how scary it had been. Aquaria came out to her family hoping against all odds that they would accept her or at least try to but they didn’t. Sasha came out to her Russian dad and it wasn’t easy at first but she knew she had to live her life being authentically her. And this, this was not doing that.

“You’re right,” Sasha gave in, “I hate that I don’t know what to do about it,” she sighed.

“I think you should just tell her. It’s only going to get harder the longer you wait,” Aquaria suggested. She was right, Sasha knew this but it didn’t make it easier. “I also think you should come to the bar and talk about it with your closest friends. It’ll help you more than you think.”

That was the truth. Their bar family had taken Aquaria in when no one would. Sharon had essentially taken the role as her mother, letting Aquaria move in with her. Most people though it was a sugar mama type of deal but Sasha knew it wasn’t. It was a woman who had been ostracized by her family for being gay taking in a girl who had been in the same situation. The difference was that Sharon hadn’t had anyone to do that for her when she was young and she didn’t want to see anyone else go through that.

“I know it will. You guys are the best form therapy for me right now,” Sasha agreed. It was time for her to face the music and her fears.

Aquaria beamed at her before getting up, “I need to get to class now but I’m texting everyone that’ll you’ll be there so now they can hold you accountable too.”

Sasha chuckled, “Thanks for having faith in me.”

Aquaria winked before disappearing from Sasha’s view. A sigh escaped Sasha’s lips. It was going to be difficult explaining why she hadn’t been around in a month. Even though she knew that no matter how long she was gone, they’d be there to welcome her back with open arms. There were still some nerves she couldn’t shake, but she knew they would have her best interests in the end and give her good advice.

Saturday came quicker than Sasha was prepared for. As it got later, she got more nervous. She was getting ready in her room. Shea was away somewhere with her friends, they’d invited Sasha, but she told them she had a paper to finish. She was glad to have the room to herself for the time being, it would have been difficult to explain where she was going and why Shea couldn’t come.

She was putting a final coat of lipstick on her lips when Shea, Kim and Trixie stumbled in, laughing loudly. They had clearly already started pregaming. It was evident by the flushes on their faces and them talking over each other even more loudly than usual. Sasha laughed at the sight of them. “It’s not even eight yet. Are you guys even going to be able to make it to wherever you’re going?”

Shea plopped down beside her and plucked the lipstick from her hand, “This shade is seriously the bomb. Do you think it would look good on me?” she held the tube close to her lips and puckered them dramatically.

Sasha rolled her eyes and tried not to let them linger on Shea’s lips, “Girl please you know everything looks good on you,” she snatched the lipstick back without any difficulty given Shea’s reflexes were pretty much non-existent when she was tipsy.

“Don’t compliment her, it’ll just go to her head and then she’ll think she’s somebody when we’re out tonight,” Kim joked to which Trixie let out a scream of laughter.

Shea flipped them both off before turning back to Sasha again, “You’re all dolled up. Did you change your mind about coming out with us?” she asked hopefully.

Sasha shook her head, “I’m actually meeting up with some friends. You remember Aquaria?” Shea nodded. “Well she managed to convince me to meet up with her and a few of our other high school friends tonight,” she explained.

Shea pouted, “Lame, you should totally come out with us instead.”

“Next time,” Sasha promised, giving Shea’s shoulder a squeeze. “I gotta get going, enjoy your night,” she waved bye to the two other girls before leaving the room and heading to the place that had become her second home over the years.

She arrived at the bar a little before it opened. She texted Bob letting her know she was outside and waited to be let in. The first time she had come to Look Queen was in her sophomore year of High School. She, Aquaria and Brianna had managed to sneak in. Though they didn’t really sneak in at all since it was Brianna’s mom that owned the place. They did however sneak drinks. Back then she had no idea how much this place would become home to her. She remembered feeling humiliated when one of the resident queens called her out for being too hairy, that was back in her unibrow days and she was still struggling with accepting her sexuality so having any attention on her terrified her.

The queen later apologized and snuck Sasha drinks. After that night the trio would go there every weekend. Sometimes they were joined by Brianna’s sister Monet and Dusty but mostly it was just them. They all had a close bond as they were in the same boat with figuring out their sexuality, which had led to some experimentation over the years. While Sasha cared for both girls, she never really had romantic feelings for either of them. Not the way they had for each other, or at least the way Aquaria had for Brianna.

She was greeted at the door by Peppermint, the vibrant woman smiled excitedly and pulled her in for a squeeze. “Sasha, girl it has been too long.”

Sasha knew she’d be in for these reactions the whole night, “I know, I know, school and all,” was all she offered for an explanation.

“We’re gonna talk more later,” Peppermint told her, “But right now you’re gonna go get a drink and apologize to Bob for making her worry.��

Sasha nodded guiltily and followed her inside. It was no surprise that the place hadn’t changed. Still brightly colored with glitter everywhere. Still smelling like booze. The mural she’d painted still covering the far wall. And still feeling like home. Sasha smiled at everyone when she walked in. Most of the people she was closest to would hang out before Bob opened to the public, either talking or preparing for their show. This particular night was open mic night which basically meant everything goes. Sasha frequently did spoken word there, it helped tremendously with her confidence and she enjoyed doing it. She hadn’t yet decided if she wanted to do anything that night, if she did it would just have to be a classic from her repertoire. One she could recite in her sleep.

Bob stood behind the counter of the bar, tidying up and making sure things were in the right place. Brianna was sitting on the counter, chatting animatedly with her sister when she spotted Sasha come in. “Sasha!” She yelled, jumping down from the counter and running to give Sasha a huge hug.

“Hey,” Sasha greeted the armful of blonde hair. Monet walked over to them as well, giving her greeting too.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Alexis glanced up from the magazine she was reading to give Sasha a smile.

Bob seemed to be purposely ignoring her, which she understood. Since she’d been coming there Bob had taken such a motherly role in her life. She had sat and listened to all of Sasha’s worries and helped her come in to herself. She was the first person Sasha told about her acceptance into Charles and she had set up a bar night in celebration, with all the tips they had received that night going into Sasha’s college fund.

Bob meant the world to her and she felt awful that she had let her down. She slowly made her way over to Bob, knowing it was best to just rip off the band aid. “Do you need any help setting up?” she asked, in lieu of a greeting once she’d reached the counter.

“No I’m mostly done with everything,” Bob shrugged, stopping what she was doing to turn to Sasha. “Do you need any help?” she returned the question.

Sasha sighed, “I know I haven’t been around in a while, but the truth is that I’ve just been caught up in the new world at school and the longer I stayed away the more I felt bad about coming back,” she admitted.

Bob’s hard stare softened a little, “Aquaria told me about your roommate thing,” she told Sasha.

“Well there’s that too,” Sasha smiled sheepishly.

“I can’t tell you what to do, but just know that I’ll go rough a bitch up if I need to,” Bob informed her. It was said like a joke but Sasha knew he was completely serious. Sure Bob wouldn’t actually hurt anyone but she would for sure go have an intimidating conversation with anyone who disapproved of Sasha.

“I know that. And I know she wouldn’t disapprove of my sexuality but I’m worried she might pick up on whatever feelings I have towards her,” she explained.

Bob nodded in understanding, “And those feelings are romantic? Or at least more than platonic?” she pressed.

Sasha shrugged, “Yeah I guess. I don’t really know how to categorize them but they’re there and they probably won’t be going anywhere so I’ll just have to learn how to deal with them for this year.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to force yourself back in the closet for a year,” Bob pointed out.

“At least until I figure out how to tell her. She’s such a good friend now that it complicates things more for sure.”

“Maybe if you found yourself a lovely gal it would make it easier. Both in getting over her and coming out to her,” Brianna interrupted their conversation.

It wasn’t a bad idea, but no one had caught Sasha’s eye in a long time. She wasn’t necessarily picky when it came to people, but her personality didn’t jive well with everyone’s and that could cause trouble for her love life.

“Maybe,” Sasha offered. Brianna shrugged and got in position behind the counter. Bob went over to open the doors signifying that the conversation was over, at least for the time being.

People began to file into the bar. Brianna handed her a gin and tonic with a wink before getting to work. Sasha made her way over to where Dusty was chatting with Alexis. She easily slid into conversation with them while slowly sipping on her drink and waiting for the open mic to start. “Are you gonna perform tonight?” Dusty questioned.

“I’m not sure yet,” Sasha told her. The bar was filling up quickly with lots of familiar faces and some new ones. She saw Aquaria at the bar with a girl she didn’t recognize. They were getting drinks from Brianna. She briefly wondered if Aquaria was with the stranger to make Bri jealous, however she didn’t look too phased, chatting happily with them while she shook their drinks.

Once the bar had started buzzing with people Thorgy took to the stage to announce sign-ups for the open mic. Sasha watched as a bunch of eager people rushed to sign up while others stayed behind wanting to get their courage up before signing up, which meant doing shots.

The line would die down in a bit and she would probably sign up whenever that happened. She was deciding on what piece she wanted to do when she was interrupted from her thoughts by someone bumping into her.

“I’m so sorry,” the girl apologized, reaching a hand out to steady her. “Oh hey Sasha, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Of course it was Pearl that had bumped into her.

“Yeah, this place was kind of like my hangout in high school so I’m just visiting with everyone,” she explained. It wasn’t a lie really, just not the whole truth.

“That’s crazy, I’ve been coming here with Vi recently I love it,” Pearl responded in her soothing voice.

“I’m just now realizing that your girlfriend is Violet Chachki.” Sasha didn’t know why it took her so long to put it together. Violet and Fame had been coming there almost as long as she had. She always though there was something between them, but maybe they were just close friend.

“Yeah. You know her? I guess you’ve never been around when she is so I never thought about it,” Pearl shook her head, “That’s weird though,” she lamented.

They talked for a while and Sasha found out that Pearl was originally from New York, but she moved to Chicago after she finished high school early to live with her dad and go to beauty school. Thankfully she hadn’t asked about Sasha’s sexuality yet or mentioned it if she already knew. Hopefully she wouldn’t say anything to Shea. Sasha didn’t want to risk anything by asking her not to so she just kept her mouth shut.

Violet came over to join them and they had a commentary about all of the people on the stage. Some were awful but there was one girl who did a spoken word about having the same parts as the boys who flirted with her. Everyone found it to be hilarious. It was early in the night so most people were lackluster or regulars that Sasha had seen many a times.

One girl, however, caught her eye. It was the girl that had been talking to Aquaria earlier. Sasha recognized her when she stepped out onto the stage but she had no idea what to expect. The girl was confident as she graced the stage. She didn’t even announce her name before she launched into a rap about being an art god. Sasha stood mesmerized the whole time. The girl was articulate and enchanting and Sasha was hooked on her every word. When it was over Sasha clapped loudly along with the rest of the crowd. The girl smiled widely and exited the stage.

“Did you guys catch her name?” She asked Violet and Pearl, eager to know who the mystery girl was.

“Oh, that’s Aja. She’s been coming these past few weeks. She’s a huge hit,” Violet filled her in.

“She’s incredible,” Sasha told them.

“Yeah she’s been really good every time we’ve seen her,” Pearl agreed.

Watching the performance left Sasha feeling inspired, “I’m going to go sign up for a spot. I’ll see you guys later,” Sasha waved at them before going to put her name on the list. After she’d signed up she went to get another drink for good measure. She figured she wouldn’t drink anymore until after she went and she would be fine.

She went to find Aquaria and hopefully find out more about Aja. Aquaria was sitting with Dusty and Yuhua, the latter loudly laughing at something. She greeted them all before taking a seat.

“Have you signed up yet?” Aquaria asked.

Sasha nodded, “I just did,” she told them, “I was feeling really inspired after Aja’s performance. Is that the newbie you were talking about?”

“Yeah,” Aquaria said excitedly, “Wasn’t she amazing? I knew you’d like her.”

“She was great,” Sasha smiled, “Is she around anywhere? I’d like to compliment her.”

“Hm, I think she’s off with her friends somewhere. Probably smoking in the bathroom honestly. I’ll introduce you guys later,” Aquaria promised, “but in the meantime let’s do some shots!” Dusty and Yuhua agreed happily.

“Save mine for after I go please,” Sasha laughed, “I’m not going through that mess again.”

The others laughed, “We would love to see that again though,” Dusty joked.

Sasha rolled her eyes as Aquaria went to get them shots. She cheered for the others while they took them. It wasn’t long before her name was being called to go. The others wished her luck while she took the stage.

She mainly just did spoken word about whatever was on her mind. This particular piece was something she wrote while coming to terms with her sexuality. It was one of her favorites and it related to her just as much now as it did back then. Especially since she’d pretty much entered the closet again. She briefly worried about Pearl hearing it, but it wasn’t too obviously about her being gay. Pearl didn’t seem like the kind of person to care all that much or sell her out, so she decided to go for it.

She always blanked when she performed. She couldn’t really tell how the audience reacted during because she was so in the moment. Once it was over she would come back to her senses but something about performing made her a completely different person. It was good though, she supposed, because back in her stage fright days she was just in a state of fear the whole time.

Once she was done the crowd cheered for her. Her friends shouts being louder than the others and she felt warm and happy. She loved this group of people more than anything else and she had no idea how she managed to stay away from them for so long.

Aquaria greeted her with a shot once she got off the stage, which she took with no hesitation. “C’mon, I think I saw Aja by the bar,” Aquaria tugged her arm, leading her to Aja and her friends.

“Aja,” Aquaria called loudly to get her attention.

“Sis,” Aja smiled turning her attention to them, “And you’re Sasha. I’ve heard so much about you,” she said, eying Sasha up and down before offering her a warm smile.

“You too,” Sasha responded, “Everyone’s been telling me about you.”

“You too. I was starting to think you weren’t real,” Aja joked, “I’m glad you are though. You’re spoken word was brilliant for real. I used to feel exactly the same way it was weird hearing it in someone else’s words,” she complimented.

Sasha blushed, “Thank you so much. You were the amazing one though. Your flow was insane and so natural I have no idea how you do it.”

Aja grinned proudly, “Lots of practice,” she admitted.

“You’re seriously talented. I can’t wait to see more of your work.”

“Yours too. I heard you do art as well?” Aja inquired.

Sasha nodded, “Yeah, it’s actually one of my majors.”

“That’s so cool!” Aja exclaimed, “I’d love to see it sometime.”

Sasha pointed to a mural that took up the back wall of the bar, “That’s actually my work over there,” she explained.

Aja’s eyes went wide, “You did that? It’s always caught my eye when I come in, I had no idea it was yours.”

Sasha nodded sheepishly, “Yeah Bob had me do it once she found out I painted. It was a good project for me, I’m glad I was able to add to the environment of this place.”

“For sure,” Aja agreed, “You want a drink?” she offered.

“Sure, I’d love one,” Sasha agreed. She spent the rest of her night drinking with Aja. They traded stories and compliments. Relating with someone on an artistic level was so refreshing. Sure she had her classmates but it was less intimidating this way. It was nice to have an informal and relaxed artistic conversation without the pressure of grades and being better than everyone else. It was incredibly chill talking to Aja and they shared the same humor. She was disappointed when the bar started to close and they had to leave. She walked out with Aja and her friends, making sure they got in their uber safely before making her way back into the bar.

Luckily she had exchanged numbers with Aja before they got too drunk. She definitely wanted to talk to her more. She made her way over to Bob to talk with her while she closed up.

“You and Aja hit it off then?” Bob asked.

Sasha nodded happily, “Yeah, she’s super chill and very talented like wow I’ve never met anyone like her,” she tried to explain, fumbling over her words a little.

Bob laughed, “Everyone knew you guys would get along, I’m glad you finally met.”

“Me too,” Sasha hummed in agreement. Bob finished cleaning for the night and offered Sasha a ride home which she accepted quickly.

The ride back was fairly quiet, Sasha beginning to get sleepy. Bob dropped her off at her dorm and got out to give her a hug goodbye. “I’m glad you came back,” she told her after letting go.

“Me too. I could never stay away long,” Sasha said. “Text me when you get back.”

“I will,” Bob agreed even though they both knew Sasha would be fast asleep. “Love you kiddo,” Bob told her before getting back in the car.

“Love you too,” Sasha called, watching Bob pull away and then walking into her dorm. She fumbled a little with the key to her room but she managed to get in successfully. She noticed Shea was already asleep when she got in. Her makeup still on her face and she was snoring softly. Sasha chuckled at the sight before climbing into bed and passing out quickly.

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dimitrippy · 6 years

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Pride month may be over, but it is also important to retain some sense of it. So here are some book reviews. If you've read these books, you might not like what I have to say. If you haven't, you may find that you don't want to. Or maybe you're so intrigued by what I've said, you'll want to read them anyway. The books I've chosen to read and review are (in order): This Book is Gay by James Dawson (2014), Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (2003), and Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World by Sarah Prager (2017).

Note: I am an independent person with no affiliations and I am doing this for fun, I am by no means a professional book reviewer.

This Book is Gay by James Dawson

I'm gonna start right off the bat and say that this book is... out-dated. Published in 2014, this book is a crash course on all things gay... but that's it. Despite many a disclaimer within the book itself, I found the writing to focus almost exclusively on homosexuality, with very little focus on bisexuality or being transgender. 'Well' you may say 'the book is GAY.' And right, it is, but the author, James Dawson, touted it as a guide to all things LGBT, which it wasn't. I understand the lack of nonbinary genders being mentioned, as the term did not really become widespread until very recently, but many trans people will find themselves unhappy when their eyes flick to the words 'transsexual' and 'transvestite'. Not to mention, in a later chapter about sex (skipping this chapter is an option, Dawson makes that clear) diagrams that equate genitals to gender. Overall, incredibly cisnormative. I'm not going to lie, Tumblr may have made me overly bias to any sort of queer literature created by a cis, gay man, but a good LGBT book should really spread out the attention between all of the letters.

I also found the writing style to be, for lack of a better word, trite. And I guess another good word would be condescending. Don't believe me? Dawson refers to sex as 'sexyfuntimes' at least 3 times, if not more. I understand that this book was written to appeal to young adolescents who might be questioning their sexuality or gender, but the word sex was already being used. Why change it to sexyfuntimes? Anyone reading the book should KNOW what sexyfuntimes means. Once was funny, but to keep using it to refer to consensual bedroom business made me feel like the author didn't care about his target audience. Speaking somewhat from experience, an adult talking down to me always made me feel like shit. Teenagers aren't stupid. Us adults need to start acting like it. ( that's not to say that teens can't be stupid, but generally when consuming content that is meant for them, it can be alienating.)

Then the author wrote a chapter on religion that I felt was written from a Christian-centric point of view. The author himself said he had limited knowledge about certain religions but went ahead and wrote about them anyway, assuming knowledge. This is a book that contained interviews with other queer people, you couldn't have found queer people of faith to interview? That just seems lazy to me.

Another big BIG problem that I had with the book was the chapter called 'Gay Saints'... or something to that effect. I had to return the book and I'm writing a lot of this from memory, which is quite good but can't always remember everything...

Anyway, I'm sorry, but however they may have felt while functioning as a boy-band, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are NOT gay icons. They're nothing more than two young men that over-zealous straight girls wish would get together. Sure, they may support the queer community which is all well in good but to refer to 'Larry Stylison' as a gay icon just... left a bad taste in my mouth. Also, Dawson referred to Macklemore as handsome which is just... not correct.

Honestly it felt like a lot of these 'icons' were straight people. And of course gay people have been idolizing straight people for basically forever (look up Friends of Dorothy) but one moment of activism does not a gay icon make.

Not to mention that leaving out Billie Joe Armstrong out of a list like that is criminal, considering he's been an open bisexual and supporting LGBT punk bands since Green Day became popular.

… Also a crime to leave out Prince but there are some battles you can't win...

Still, it would be remiss of me to not mention that this book was meant to be read by EVERYONE, not just by LGBT kids. I definitely understand the need for a book like this, but the queer community has become so fast paced and new terminology is updated and accepted on a near- daily basis. And I, personally, would not recommend this book to my friends (unless my friends want to know the book i'm slamming – LOL ). Perhaps a companion book titled “This Book is Trans” or “This Book is Queer”? Or maybe keep the title and come out with a second, more inclusive edition.

I would, however, recommend it to young, questioning kids and their parents – should said parents be aware of their kid's situation. I also recommend it to straight people who have very little interaction with LGBT people but who want to understand us a little better. I know I said the writing was condescending at times, but it is a good resource for people who aren't gay or who aren't sure what they are yet, especially if they don't wanna dig through Google, trying to find non-homophobic sources.

My overall opinion in a nutshell: Mediocre and non-inclusive

Score: 4/10

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

I'm not going to lie, if I had read this book in middle school or high school, I probably would have LOVED it. Pretentious teen romance was probably my favorite genre. (Something I don't talk about very much because everyone on Tumblr has a boner for hating the king of pretentious teen romance novels, John Green, and I rather like him.) Now, however, it is... to be honest it's uninteresting drivel.

The story focuses on local gay high schooler, Paul. Paul has ALWAYS known he was gay and everyone in his small, shockingly liberal town (shocking because it's so small) doesn't really care, except for the parents' of his friend, Tony, another gay high schooler. (only Tony's parents are homophobes and they have to lie about stuff just to get him out of the house)

We have other great characters! Such as Kyle, the bisexual who won't call himself bisexual because he doesn't like labels, also Paul's ex. Infinite Darlene, a trans girl who Paul does not call trans, only drag queen. She is homecoming queen and captain of the football team and also the other drag queens in school (???) don't like her because she's too masculine. Cis drag queens hating trans women, what else is new?

We also have Noah, the pretentious artist new kid and Paul's crush. And Joni, who was Paul's best friend but dumped him for her crappy boyfriend.

Right? The sheer amount of characters made my head spin too. And the drama with everyone was... too much. The only redeeming moment was when Tony finally stood up to his parents. Which he did so in, again, an unrealistic way.

And I'm not even going to mention the motorcycle cheerleaders.

So by the end of it, I was pretty disappointed.

Until I read the author's note. 10 years after it's original publication, David Levithan answers some questions about the book and gave a myriad of reasons as to why he wrote the book the way he did. He explained that he knew how unrealistic some parts of the story were, and that that's why they were there. Because as unrealistic as it was, it is something that he wants to one day be a reality. And that while we're far from that reality, it's something we should always, always be working towards.

There's something very brave about that. It's definitely true that there are far, far too many tragic stories featuring LGBTQA+ characters, but this is nothing short of a very happy story published in a time when stories like that simply didn't exist. A jaded queer person (such as myself) might brush off the pie in the sky life that Paul leads, but ultimately there really is nothing wrong with writing happy endings for people like you.

Should you choose to read this book, I recommend the new edition that comes with the author's note. It puts the entire novel in a much better perspective. It also has a short story featuring Infinite Darlene.

My overall opinion in a nutshell: Pretentious but well meaning

Score: 6/10 (points taken away were re-added after reading the author's not

Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World by Sarah Prager

As an avid history nerd who doesn't read nearly as much historic shit as they should, I loved this book. Clear, concise, and with a detailed bibliography in the back, Queer, There, and Everywhere gives us undeniable proof that people like us – queer people – have always existed.

Starting in ancient Rome, through the civil rights movement and up the the present, Prager makes the context easy to understand by using modern language and beginning each chapter with a brief flashback to each figure's time. While many scholars look at things from a cishet lens and use the language to match, Prager does pretty much the opposite, making a disclaimer at the beginning of each chapter any time modern terminology or certain pronouns usage needs to be used for clarity.

This book doesn't just cover cis, gay people over the course of history, it has something for everyone across the spectrum of gender and sexuality – trans and nonbinary people, lesbian pioneers (no, not 1800s pioneers),George Takei, and much, much more.

While queer history can be a touchy subject, Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World makes it so that our history can not, should not, and will not be erased.

My overall opinion in a nutshell: Fantastic and a necessary must for any person who needs a brief course in queer history.

Score: 8/10 (some of the historic figures she picked struck me as far-fetched, plus use of the outdated terms transsexual and transvestite)

#books #literature #reading #lgbtqa+#lgbt books #queer literature #queer books #lgbt literature #book reviews #james dawson #david levithan #sarah prager #long post

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skeleton-richard · 6 years

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Recently there’s been a spate of posts about people being anti-Ao3 and criticising its so-called support of taboo subjects in fanwork. I find this both weirdly fascinating and worrying, considering the growth of the anti movement or whatever you want to call it and its misunderstandings of literature and law.

A while back I posted my concerns on anti culture and how it promotes a skewed sense of morality and promotes an unhealthy obsession with whatever it is you’re against-- running a blog dedicated to how awful a particular ship or fandom is can’t be beneficial to your emotional wellbeing. I want to add my concern about the anti-Ao3 sentiment and its connection to real life. Here’re my thoughts on the situation.

First, I think that most people who are against Ao3 probably have their hearts more or less in the right place, meaning they honestly think they’re doing the right thing and that Ao3 is bad on moral grounds. Not that I agree with them. They’re coming from a sheltered, entitled position, thinking that everything has to be protected and safe and that other people are responsible for their wellbeing. This is not true by a long shot. Also, some people criticising this mindset have said things like Ao3′s detractors are homophobic/queerphobic etc., this is also untrue from what I’ve seen. It’s primarily people who don’t understand Ao3′s purpose or any of the other things I discuss below.

The opposition to Ao3 is grounded in that it hosts explicit works including things like rape, incest, pedophila/underage, and whatever else a person might not like. These are not censored by the site, ergo they are supporting that kind of material and protecting its creators. This is compounded by it being accessible by minors. People have gone so far to say that Ao3 was created to protect authors of explicit fiction.

Yes and no. I don’t have to go into a lesson on the history of Ao3 or fandom, you can find those easily online, but long story short, Ao3 was created to protect the rights of creators, whoever they may be and from whatever opposition. This includes fics including explicit material (which could mean vanilla PWP as well as lemon), queer themes like slash, and the existence of fanwork in general, which has been a touchy legal topic-- something based off the work of someone else who makes money. So Ao3 exists so that you can post your G-rated fic without it being threatened by a creator who doesn’t like fanwork. And so the archive admins can’t take down your fic if they don’t like your ship. It exists to protect the rights of the fans, not only the rights of the writer who wrote a gross fic you don’t like but also my rights and yours as well.

This brings us to who has the right to censor/challenge/ban material anyway. Every year the ALA promotes Banned Books Week (find out about it here). If you look at the list of books that are commonly challenged and banned, you will probably see your favorites-- like Harry Potter? The Hunger Games? Shel Silverstein? On there. Two of my favorite high school books, To Kill a Mockingbird and A Separate Peace are often targets. Some criteria make sense-- the violence in The Hunger Games, racist language in To Kill a Mockingbird-- others don’t-- whoever said Fahrenheit 451 promotes book burning obviously didn’t read the damn book. People censor literature for every conceivable reason, and these people are not all Tumblr’s favorite Southern Baptists. They’re usually well-meaning people (more or less) who misunderstood the book or are doing it because think of the children. It doesn’t mean they’re doing the right thing, but they think they are (which is what I think most antis are). However, who gets to decide you can’t read something and why? Censorship becomes arbitrary, a matter of what I think is good or bad rather than what others might.

Attacking Ao3′s hosting of explicit fics ends up like this. Who gets to decide what’s good or bad content? Some things are obvious but others aren’t, and that’s where things get tricky.

I’ve seen many people bring up real world non-fanwork literature (or what we in the library business call “books”) and point out that antis ignore that the library is filled with objectionable content. They totally do. This has been weakly argued against, with antis saying “But there’s a difference! Those books aren’t like icky fanfiction to jack off to rape!” Listen, kid. There’s no difference because fiction is a form of entertainment and people wrote sick twisted shit before the invention of the internet and before fandom culture as we know it. Shit gets published physically that’s as bad as fanfiction. It happens.

Ao3 has something that the books at the library don’t, however, which is content warnings and a tagging system. This is easily filterable (especially with the recent addition of the “exclude” option) and requires authors to label their writing so the reader has some idea of what they’re getting into. A fic marked E is not going to be safe to read to my eight year old cousin (who I also would not read The Book of the Dun Cow to, despite it being one of my favorite books, because I know what’s in it via experience). As to accessibility by minors, Ao3 requires you to confirm your age before you access a fic that’s rated M or E-- you have to be a legal adult in your country, and if you agree while still being a minor, you’ve forfeited any right to complain about what you were exposed to because you willingly broke the law. And because of tags, a fic can warn you about what’s specifically to come-- If you don’t like the fic I wrote that involved underage marriage, pregnancy, and multiple child deaths, you can’t blame me for you seeing it because I warned you (also, blame history, because that particular fic references historical events).

There is always going to be material that will upset you. I’ve seen fics that have very much upset me, but I cannot dwell on them and have chosen to avoid them because I can. You however cannot attribute this to one source and you cannot ignore the safeguards that are in place. In fact, it’s really not a good to campaign against something that hosts adult content while still using Tumblr, which has almost no functioning safeguards and hosts even more kinds of content than Ao3, which is primarily text. This is not the place to make such an argument and it certainly isn’t a place a minor should be if they’re concerned about what they’re exposed to.

#Ao3 #fandom wank #anti culture

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what-even-is-thiss · 6 years

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I haven't figured out my sexuality. I always see posts saying shit about hetros or just hate them(I'm not talking pointing out issues with how they interact on parnormal show). It's scary cause the same people who say that they support you in finding yourself, make you feel they will reject you if you land on hetro(It's not everyone but it's there)and anytime people point it out or say things about hetrophobia, it's called fake, and people are allowed to hate their oppressors. I just don't know.

This is... a very touchy subject. I’ll try to go about it in an acceptable way, but sometimes things like this are like walking on a tightrope over a minefield. Please forgive me for any mistakes I might make, everybody. And this got pretty long so I’m sorry.

So, there’s this thing called “punching up” where someone criticizes someone that has more privilege than them in a certain area, especially in comedy. Like, women making fun of or criticizing men, poc making fun of or criticizing white people, poor people making fun of or criticizing rich people, etc. However, there are limits to this. For example, a white trans woman making fun of Mexican men probably couldn’t say she’s punching up even though they’re cis men because that’s just not right. It would be racist.

What you’re referring to I think is when punching up goes too far. It’s quite difficult usually for it to reach that point, but, and I may be causing some controversy here even though I don’t mean to, but I think it is possible for it to go a little too far. Especially when people begin to push away persons with open minds that are willing to help them.

Another thing you might be concerned about is that you can’t tell when people are joking or not. Some of these people might not be joking, or some of them might just be making jokes that aren’t meant for you to see but they don’t actually feel that way. They’re just exaggerating. Like, once in a while, because I’m ace, I might make a joke about allosexual people and/or straight people. Call sexual things in the media exhausting, or say that straight people are a myth. When I say things like that, I’m joking. I’m expressing some frustration I might have with society or be turning around a group’s words on them. Same thing when someone says “I’m not heterophobic, but could you just not do that where my kids can see it?”. They’re using the same language that has been used against them in reverse because they know that saying that is obviously a joke and not going to actually cause a lot of social harm to heterosexual people in the same way that heterosexual people saying that about queer people does to them.

I’d say, if it feels too exaggerated it’s usually a joke. However, there are people around here that actually do hate men or cis people or straight people or white people or whatever. And on some level, you can understand why, but I think it’s best to avoid them if you can. And sometimes jokes are easy to take the wrong way, unfortunately.This is why I personally try to avoid “down with cis” jokes and don’t like it when people say they’re gonna eat all the men or something like that.

Almost everybody knows that not all men/straight/cis/white/rich/etc. people are awful. We already know that and that’s why we say to save the “Not all (insert group)” language for special occasions. Most people you meet won’t hate you for the parts of who you are that are out of your control. If they do, it’s best not to associate with them.

Just be mindful. I know it’s hard to navigate sometimes. None of us want to be seen as a bad person and Tumblr can be intolerant to mistakes at times. I’ve struggled with something similar in my life. I’m a white person, and I grew up in a middle class educated family, so I’m always learning. I’m always figuring out what I am and am not allowed to talk about or have an opinion on. That’s how it is from anyone from any position of privilege. If you are white, or straight, or cis, or a man, or grew up in a stable family, or don’t have mental illness, or are able bodied, or middle class, or upper class, or a natural born citizen, or if English is your native language, whatever. You’re going to have a blind spot. And living with that blind spot makes it hard to tell when something has gone too far or if it even can go too far.

So, sorry for maybe kind of rambling, but I think the bottom line is, that if you’re willing to learn and try to be a good person, and advocating for positive change, then you’re doing all that you can. Like I said before, most decent people won’t reject you for something out of your control, and your sexuality is something out of your control. If you do end up being straight then just try to be a good ally. Try not to give into the straight guilt feelings, because you’re not responsible for all of history. Don’t claim LGBTQ spaces as your own, be open minded, and if people hate you for it? Block them. Ignore them. Do whatever you gotta do. Just don’t spread more hate. And if it means anything, you won’t get real hate on my blog for being straight. I might joke sometimes but we’re all just people. And as long as people are respectful and not porn bots they’re welcome in my little corner of the internet.

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cottagecorefroggyfairy · 7 years

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So. I’m litteraly going d o w n with this ship and I can’t sleep and @spideyxchelle blog (check it out is amazing) inspired me so much so here we go.

Spideychelle + trans Peter (don’t get me even start with your transphobic shit, this is an hc ok? I know he’s not canonically trans. You don’t have to read it if you don’t like it) pt. 1

SO:

Peter is such a soft boy. Like, the kind of good soft boy your parents would like to have for dinner. So pure and precious. (At least apparently)

Michelle is not soft.

Really, secretly she /is/, but she doesn’t like to show it.

Not that she is a bad person or something, but years of people making fun of her made her hide her feelings and softnees

So, she just hide. Like. A lot. She doesn’t show pain, but anger. Doesn’t show that she is hurt, but sarcasm and fierceness.

At the end, it’s not fun anymore to try to make her cry or piss her off.

Now she passes unobserved and she is fine with it.

But even if she doesn’t know why, even if she can take everything they say behind her back, she can’t take Peter doing nothing when Flash bullies him.

Like, she’s so. Damn. Pissed.

But she let it go too because not of her business, and Peter needs to learn to defends himself and she couldn’t care less like it’s Peter damn Parker right who cares right?

(Spoiler: she does)

However, Flash teases are usually just him throwing tiny paper balls at him, giving him the i-am-gonna-destroy-you-parker face and just being an asshole around him

Expect that sometimes he calls him penis Parker and a part of Michelle is really screaming PUNCH HIM out loud in her mind.

But she doesn’t, because, come on Parker, just do something already!!!

But Peter just takes his shit silently

Which makes her even more angry

However don’t you dare bullshitting me she feels bad for him when during the penis Parker “joke” she can see his face, because he always seems on the verge of tears

Ofc she does know that Peter is trans. Not that he ever came out or something, he always presented himself as Peter and it seems that nobody at school question that.

But she knows that Flash knows Peter since they were like 5, and he’s the only one being an asshole about that and even if most of the kids find the “penis Parker” jokes just a stupid thing because the sounds of the words are similar, Peter seems to be a bit too sensitive about it.

And it doesn’t take long to her to understand. I mean, she’s clever /and/ very observant (especially when it comes to Peter parker)

So after she joins the decathlon team and she starts sharing moments with him is easy to connect the dots and find out.

But she never mentions it because she couldn’t care less like ok so what he’s still the soft cute boy he has always been (DID SHE JUST CALL HIM CUTE?! SHIT)

She’s a bit sensitive to the subject: she is an activist, she is a feminist, and she is a black queer woman. Of course she is touchy about it.

And like, trans community has to take so much shit from the people outside the LGBT+ community and the community itself, it’s so damn unfair.

Like, they are people, actually human beings, suffering and being discriminated every damn day.

No wonder she doesn’t like Flash

Also we are talking about Peter and this makes her even angrier

Not that she likes him, let’s be clear (spoiler: she does)

Until one day Flash crosses the line. He’s been Peter schoolmate for years and so he knows his deadname

And he uses it. And Michelle know it is his deadname because actually Peter gets so pale and he stops himself right where he is in the middle of the hallway and he looks totally like he’s gonna have a panic attack.

And he’s crying. Actually /crying/. Well it’s just a single tear but fuck he’s CRYING

And Flash is laughing.

And she can’t take it anymore.

She gets up and just thrown her shoes to him, before pushing him back with a loud “You are disgusting!” Coming out from her lips.

He just looks at her like “what the shit Jones?!”

“Shut up, idiot!” and she is like touching Peter’s shoulder so gently “are you ok Parker?”

And Flash is just… An idiot.

“there she is, Michelle Jones herself, coming to rescue her girlfriend”

And she just punches him. Like… Litteraly crushing her fist against his face.

And it’s damn satisfying if she has to be honest.

“I said, SHUT UP, you and your stupid gross ass”

And then she just takes Peter by his hand, running before finnally pushing him into an empty classrooms

So Peter looks at her and he looks shocked and kinda horrified and… in admiration?

“you…you just…punched him” “yes. I did”

And they just stay there for like a minute and it seems like he’s trying so hard to not makes a fool of himself in front of her

And that just breaks her heart so she is like “let go Parker. It’s fine. I’m not gonna tease you if you cry. Boys can cry, you know”

and he just collapses. He crumbles in front of her, crying, big tears coming down his cheeks and sobbing

First thought “shit I fucked up. What am I suppose to do now shit” second thought “…what the hell?!” Because he’s hugging her in such a desperate way and she just….

Goes soft. And hugs him back.

After five minutes of it’s fine Parker come on it’s ok now sch you’re fine and rubbing his back gently he stops and steps back

“sorry. Thanks Michelle. I’m so so-” “cut it off. It’s ok. It’s not your fault if he’s an idiot, Peter”

AND OMG she just called him PETER and not PARKER

“anyway. Thanks. For… Everything”

And she smiles and his heart goes like /crazy/ in his chest

But then she crosses her arms and she looks at him raising an eyebrow “why do you let him tease you. Damnit Peter, just say to him to shut the fuck up!”

“I… Don’t want any trouble” “well, duh, it’s not really working”

And he just looks so mortified and his fingers are tormenting the hem of his shirt and he’s looking at his shoes

“Peter. Look at me. Why? You don’t deserve to be treated like that!”

And he’s sobbing quietly again

“because… He knows. He knows…a thing…and… I’m afraid he’ll tell everyone and I don’t…want to”

And MJ is like “what does he know? Have you killed someone, Parker?”

She’s a bit sarcastic but that makes him chuckle a little and he’s so. Damn. Cute. Damnit.

And finnally he takes a deep breath and he looks at her and just “I’m… I’m trans”

Like what the shiiiit Peter he didn’t meant to tell her just like that, he and his stupid mouth and brain and emotions and

She raise an eyebrow again “I know”

WHAT THE SHIT MJ???? is he so obvious? Doesn’t he look like a boy? Shit shit shit. He’s panicking now.

“how do you…” “I’m very observant”

And then she touch his hand gently “Peter, don’t worry. It’s not obvious or something. I’m just…” And she stops because what can she says? I am good at observing you? Very interested in your life? Creepy. But he’s breathing again so it’s fine anyway. Better don’t mess up.

“I’m queer, by the way. Like… Not straight” she just says that, like ok he’s been honest with her so why not at least they can be queer together can’t they?

And she needed something to say lol

He just looks at her “thanks for telling me”

She smiles. Actually smiles. A tiny smile. But it /is/ a smile and daaaaaaaamn she looks so cute.

But better not tell her I mean she is being kind with him and he doesn’t want her to go away and anyway it’s not like he likes like MJ lol nope totally not

“Pride is next week. Want to join?” She asks him, opening to the door

And damn she could totally be more soft with him if this means seeing that light in his eyes

“Yeah, sure” “cool. See you later”

And then just like that they start to be really friends, not the we are friend but we are not they’ve always been, and maybe, maybe this can be the beginning of something.

(Spoiler: it is)

Feel free to send me prompt or request I’m really into this fandom, ask me whatever you want I need to write about Peter and the others so damn much.

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capsing · 7 years

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(Spoilers: It’s another rant about queerbaiting)

If you are unfamiliar with South Park, it’s a satiric cartoon that has just started its 21 Season. The humor is not for everybody – it can be incredibly vulgar and offensive. I, personally, enjoy it very much.

Most of the seasons of South Park were Stand Alone episodes – meaning, although the episodes were loosely tied to each other, you could watch one without context and still get what’s going on. In Season 19 and 20 they’ve tried changing it, and it appears this season we’re back to Stand Alone episodes once more. (Yay.)

South Park revolves around four (arguably five) main characters, with a wide variety of supporting cast. The main characters are middle-schoolers in their fourth grade, and there are their classmates, parents, school staff and other citizens in the town.

The center of this piece revolves around two of the supporting characters – Tweek and Craig. Tweek is a stressed-out kid who has involuntarily ticks due to drinking huge amounts of coffee; Craig is a very plain character, and honestly, although I remember he had an episode revolving him, I can’t tell you much about him. (He has a hat, I guess?)

Supporting characters in South Park sometimes get their own episode, but unlike Jimmy or Wendy, Craig and Tweek weren’t quite in the spotlight.

NOW. Thing is many South Park fans shipped those two characters. Why? I don’t know. Neither did the creators. But they took notice.

Season 19, Episode 6 was an episode entirely devoted to the issue. Its name was “Tweek x Craig”. Basically, it goes like this – there’s a new group of Asian kids that joined the school. They present their art in a school assembly – and it’s all fanart of Tweek and Craig (which was provided by the actual fans of the show). Tweek and Craig are upset at being outed – they claim they’re not gay and not together (and they’re indeed not together). Meanwhile, Stan, one of the protagonists, portrays the voice of the people who don’t ship it (and maybe of the creators), as he tries to understand “How the Asians decide who’s gay and who’s not.” (There’s talk of yaoi).

Towards its end, the episode shows how the people of South Park enjoy hanging artwork of the pair in their homes, and how happy it makes them. At the end, I was left with the impression Tweek and Craig sort of agree to play pretend for a bit for the town people’s sake.

ONLY.

NOT.

Season 21, Episode 2 provides a mind-boggling revelation.

Tweek’s anxiety is through the roof, due to the President’s provocation of North-Korea. During lunch, the protagonists turn to Craig and tells him: “Do something about it, he’s your boyfriend.”

At first, I wasn’t sure I’ve heard it correctly- but it repeated itself, with Craig calling Tweek with all sorts of pet-names. The show had made the two a pair, and what was so mind-boggling about it was how non-issue it was. It was just there. They’re gay. They’re a couple. Craig needs to support Tweek, to learn how to listen to him instead of trying to advise him. I was stunned and thrilled at the same time. What an unexpected development! The episode addressing the subject of shipping wasn’t there to ridicule it – it was an actual event with later implications on the characters themselves!

South Park finally did what no other big, successful franchise did to this date – implemented queer characters, portraying them as people. Not killing them off. Not giving them tragic breakups. Not making them The Gay Character™.

Why do I think this is amazing? Two reasons.

The first is that South Park’s creators are tuned to their fans, and most importantly – respectful towards them. S19E06 was clearly the creators showing they have no idea why there’s even a fanbase to Tweek and Craig, but they didn’t make fun of it – they used it to connect to their fans and frame and episode around the issue, which also dealt with how the parents deal with their kids “suddenly being gay”. They’ve asked for content from the fans, which was readily provided, and embedded it to the actual episode, doing their best to use everything they’ve gotten – though, legally speaking, they could’ve just grabbed whichever fanart they googled and used it. (There’s even a short fanvideo of two cosplayers!)

I am not part of the SPN fandom, but I do know that the SPN creators acknowledged fanfiction of Sam and Dean in one of their episodes, I vaguely recall it wasn’t done so respectfully, that their fan-character was presented as a bit loopy and that Sam and Dean weren’t really thrilled with the concept of Wincest. Sherlock didn’t acknowledge it on the show, and the cast and creators dismiss it as if they’re not leaving a rainbow trail of breadcrumbs for their fans to follow.

The second reason is that the creators follow-through.

What’s so annoying about queerbaiting is that you watch a thing, you see the groundwork laid there, but when you call attention to it – it’s treated as if it’s not there. (If you are unfamiliar with the term, Queerbaiting is when the show presents characters as having the potential for a queer romance to expend their audiences, without ever saying it outright as to not alienate homophobic viewers).

Even I know that Castiel and Dean are batting eyelashes at each other for – what – the past six seasons? Maybe more? And that it’s a touchy subject – so much it can’t be brought up during panels with the cast.

NOW.

I know this is the part where there’s all of this debate about “Creators shouldn’t be trying to pander to audiences or change their work, they should do what they want! We’re just the audience.” And that’s fine.

BUT.

Queerbaiting is tedious. Really is.

Queerbaiting is like interacting with Jokey Smurf.

He gives you a nice present, and you’re happy about it – and it ends up blowing in your face. Once is unpleasant, but okay. In the three-hundred-and-fourth time, it’s just annoying, and you wonder why you keep falling for it, each and every time, hoping it’d end differently this time around.

It’s like a constant mockery of the audience – keeping the coals warm just-so to keep a small flame of hope going, but never planning to do anything about it but splash it with a bucket of icy-cold water when it’s all said and done.

South Park, very surprisingly, shows it can be different.

As a show, it acknowledged – on screen, at the end of Season 19 – it needed to change its type of humor to get on with the times. With such a huge supporting cast, there’s no reason a few of the characters can’t be queer, or together. There’s room for their relationship, alongside other relationships on the show. The Creek (Craig/Tweek) fanbase didn’t threaten the creators or pester them constantly – they just were, and then – they were noticed.

While other shows keep dragging their fans along, South Park’s creators just kept in touch with the changing times and their fanbase, and adjusted themselves accordingly.

At the end, what they’re making is an Entertainment Product, meant for consumption. It only makes sense to find out not just what tickles your audience’s tastebuds the right way, but what also leaves them content, sated and satisfied.

((P.S – Creek fans, I’m super glad for you! Your content made an actual change, hopefully leading to more shows taking notice and following South Park’s lead!))

((P.S.S – All of South Park’s episodes are available online for free on their website, a fact that always made me appreciate them even more.))

Thanks for reading :)

#South Park #Sherlock #Supernatural #SPN #Queerbaiting #Personal #Creek #long post #stuff i write instead of the things i should actually be writing #but i was emotional

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