#and protector and. just person in general. following him is a choice

[abyssalpriest]

oh and in case it isnt clear, i dont necessarily blame anyone on this plane for believing the stuff i said in the first posts tags? like. eve if youre an incarnated "demon" like i am as much as eh yeah im sick of that term like. its hard to get info across from fuckin anyone, but you add to that how their/our plane works requiring so much damn energy to get up here..... Its hard. yes.

HOWEVER. the fucking "demons" coming here being like. well. this

and fucking talking about how all evils are Actually (chrxstian and ''angelic'') and we're soooooo good and innocent like. you know what youre doing. i see you. shut the fuck up

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Male Yandere Human-like Golem x Gender Neutral Human Reader (CW: Noncon, huge dick, golem man, magic, fatal violence towards bandits, spit used as lube, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 1.8k (Sorry this took forever, was originally going to be a drabble and then kinda got away from me, hope you all enjoy huge dick golem man.)

The small town that you lived in, Somnheim, had been victim to a swathe of horrible luck. Raided by bandits, packs of beasts killing livestock, and enemy soldiers scavenging what they could. Finally the town had enough and sent for a practitioner of the magic arts to aid them in the defense of their village.

This was you.

They didn’t have much but they offered a home and food for your services. You figured you could help them and have a quiet place to conduct your research away from the prying eyes of the council, who liked to hold newer mages under their thumb. It would also just be something nice you could do for your fellow humans, and these folks clearly needed the help.

You didn’t want to stay in this place forever though, so your solution would have to be one that would last long after you were gone.

Given your expertise in summoning and animating the logical choice was a good, old fashioned, golem. A pentagram, some select incense, clay flesh molded to a slate skeleton and imbued with an amethyst heart carrying an artificial soul, some runes carved in, and a scroll inserted that would have him follow his purpose and give him personality.

Then just add in a spell that turned the humanoid clay man into something more human so as not to frighten the villagers too badly and make him able to experience a near human existence.

The ritual was a complete success. Of course it was. You were you after all, young but talented and more importantly utterly dedicated to your craft.

Somnheim now had a mighty protector. An artificial man over 9 feet tall, with huge bulging muscles, shaggy brown hair, stoic brown eyes that gave nothing away, and glowing green runes on his arms and legs. The spell that made him human-like was more than just visual, it gave him nearly all the functions of a human male, he’d be as durable and strong as the hardest metal, never age, and of course he was certainly infertile.

Not one for creative names, you named him Slate.

Eventually bandits came by and decided they would stock up in Somnheim before going on to bigger and better loot.

They did not live to regret that decision.

Slate simply rolled a massive boulder down the hill they approached from and flattened all but a couple. Those he took care of quickly with magically precise throws of average sized stones.

Over the months any threat he couldn’t flatten with a boulder or smack with a stone he would pop open with his mighty fists.

By the end of his first year as the village’s guardian he was beloved by every single townsperson. Even the tiny children, who would climb on him and put flowers in his shaggy hair as he smiled and watched, had no fear of him.

You had enjoyed your time there, but eventually it was time for a change of scenery. You wanted to do more field research and you had saved enough money up with side projects to be able to fund a trip to the other side of the country near The Great Forest.

The villagers were grateful and sad to see you go, but they were much more interested in Slate than you.

But when you packed your bags to leave behind your wattle and daub dwelling once and for all you found yourself blocked by Slate.

He uttered one word in that deep, almost monotone, voice of his.

“No.”

“What do you mean no? I have to leave.” You tried to squeeze past him but he was not having it.

“I must protect the village… Your presence here makes the village safer… I might need repairs… or reinforcements… And you also tasked me with keeping you safe…”

You fudged the wording. You, breather of life into stone, weaver of clay, and creator of souls, messed up the wording.

He picked you up like a box of luggage and sat you on a chair in your makeshift study before going over to the heaviest bookshelf, picking it up, and placing it in front of the only door so you couldn’t escape.

“I’ll move it when I need to leave… then I will put a rock outside to keep you here…”

And that became your life. A literal prisoner in your own home.

Your magical abilities were useless in this situation, you were not a battlemage that could explode a wall, you couldn’t teleport, you bent earth.

Of course you tried to tunnel your way out by making a hole under your bed, but Slate had walked in and caught you red handed. He had confiscated and locked away all your magical supplies and texts unless you needed them to repair him you were not getting them back.

Slate was tentative enough of your physical needs, bringing you food and water and taking you outside like some sort of pet for sunlight, fresh air, and exercise. You had tried to run away but of course he had inhuman speed. And the villagers refused to help. What if Slate refused to save them if they did that?

It was a fair concern, he was made to protect the village and not villagers, he may even see them as a threat if they assisted you. You were on your own.

Though you were healthy enough physically your mental condition was deteriorating rapidly. How could you not be? Being trapped in the same building, even with trips outside, was awful. The villagers only looked at you with pity if they looked at you at all, and no one would even talk to you anymore.

It got to the point where you barely eat, refused to go outside, and spent all your time laying in bed.

Slate was failing the magical directives that governed his personality and behavior. You were clearly not safe, he was convinced that you would die if this continued, and honestly you likely would… eventually…

But the golem was not incapable of learning. He observed the other humans to find out what he could add to your life to bring you back to your usual self.

One night, when he was sitting in front of the house watching the humans passing by and holding hands, he came to the conclusion that humans had families, they lived together in their dwellings and they loved each other. They coupled together and mated.

Up until this point Slate had only been directed by simple emotion and the unyielding parchment that had imbued him with his goals. But now his task demanded something more of him, it demanded a much more complex emotion. The magic in him allowed this evolution, and now he was much more dangerous because he loved you. But it wasn’t just love he felt for the first time, it was lust.

Slate’s expression became one of someone thinking about the one who they adored infinitely, an expression of a man thinking about the person he wanted to have writhing in pleasure beneath him, even his normally green runes and brown eyes took on an amorous pink glow.

When you heard the boulder blocking the door shift and then heard the bookshelf take its place as what was blocking your way out as Slate came lumbering in with his heavy steps you didn’t even glance up.

Not until he stood in front of you and you noticed his strange pink glow replacing his green one did you stir.

You sat up in bed and when you saw the strange way his normally near emotionless eyes were staring at you, and glowing, you scooted away.

“I know what you need now! I am so sorry for not realizing sooner…” He said in a surprisingly soothing tone, a stark departure from his normally deep monotone.

“What do yo-”

Your words were forgotten as he took off his shirt and pants revealing a sweaty body and a frighteningly large cock.

“You need a partner to be happy, like the other humans, and you need to mate!”

He sounded very eager.

“No! Uh… I don’t need to… mate. I need to lea-” he put a large finger over your lips and shushed you before gripping your pants and peeling them and your underwear away from you carefully.

There was no dissuading him from his chosen course of action, he would make you happy and keep you safe no matter what!

It’s what you needed.

Slate leaned forward and spit all over your hole, thoroughly lubing it with his spit, before pressing his big cock into your hole.

It was so large that you let out a whimper of pain at first, but he was somehow knowledgeable enough about sex to know he needed to let you adjust to the size rather than just ramming himself in.

You gasped and writhed but he held you still with his massive hands running up and down your sides as he slowly pulled you down on his prick.

Slate was in complete heaven, he had never really known much pleasure of any kind, let alone the type that came with burying his cock in someone he was now completely obsessed with.

He had no idea his dick could be used for this at all, but now that he did he would certainly be doing this everyday, maybe even a couple times a day! The perfect blend of heat and softness was amazing.

As he began to thrust slowly, with a blissed out expression as he stared up at nothing with drool coming out of his mouth, you couldn’t help but moan in pleasure as his cock caressed your depths perfectly.

Hearing your breathy moans snapped him back to reality. You were finally happy again~

The treatment was working! That settled it, he would do this every single day no matter what!

Carefully gripping your sides a bit more firmly he moved your entire body back and forth on his cock. You couldn’t help it, your whole body twitched with the force of a massive orgasm. The sensation of your body spasming around his previously virgin dick caused him to slam in deep and cum hard.

He pulled you close, holding your head into his muscular chest as he panted, his dick still firmly impaling your limp body. You hadn’t been eating much and this serious fucking had taken a lot out of you.

Slate cleaned the two of you up, bathing you gently before taking advantage of your compliant state by spoon feeding you some dinner he had brought from a town person.

Mating with you made you so pleasured and too tired to resist him when he took care of you, he almost couldn’t wait until you had enough energy to do it again, his cock strained in his pants with anticipation.

[ragingstillness]

Recently caught up on the Black Butler anime and manga and it just reminded me of how much I love the series. Also made me realize that the last time I caught up was so long ago that I’ve never written any meta for it and I have things to say:

Obviously the selling point of the series and what fascinates me the most is the relationship between Sebastian and Ciel (note: NOT a romantic relationship! Relationship as in a connection between two people). They have one of my favorite kind of relationships which is one that doesn’t really fit in any typical relationship boxes. It’s too nebulous, too flexible for it. Are they father and son? No not really. Are they siblings? Definitely not although they do occasionally fight that way. Hero and sidekick? Nope. Cousins? No. Teacher and student? No, they switch those roles around too much. The closest I can get is Bodyguard and Client but even that doesn’t fit. The only right word is partners but partners in what is not clear.

There’s multiple motivations on Sebastian’s side. He’s clearly intrigued by Ciel and by humanity in general, albeit not enough to feel anything about killing them. He’s hungry, eager to eat Ciel’s soul. He’s invested in Ciel and his goals because of this. But he’s also protective of Ciel and Ciel’s mission. Somewhere along the line that change occurred and imo we see that change confirmed during the Campania arc.

Ciel returns this new understanding when he orders Sebastian to rest after fighting zombies all night and comments on having never seen Sebastian injured before. The barrier of untouchable immortality between them has come down a bit. They have always schemed together but in the arcs that follow they seem to be working more together than working alongside each other.

Above all else, my hc is that Sebastian is bored, or was bored, with the life of a demon who quickly devoured souls. And Ciel, Ciel is interesting. He doesn’t act like the humans Sebastian has eaten before and he’s entirely unafraid of him, confidently striding into his own doom. That’s a new experience for him. It’s worth enough, adds some undefined richness to Ciel’s soul, that makes it worth the wait.

Ciel’s motivations for beginning the relationship are incredibly transparent. He was in danger and he cried out for help. He was weak and needed a strong ally. He was afraid and needed a protector. Over time that grew into having duties as the Queen’s Watchdog and needing an impossible secret weapon to wield.

Ciel’s motivation to continue the relationship and the way he reacts to Sebastian is more complex. He likes being the king, likes feeling invincible, and Sebastian’s presence gives him that. But at several points during the series he is forced to stand on his own. He faces down Madam Red alone, he destroys the circus’ “Father” alone, he utilizes social engineering to ingratiate himself to the other students alone, and he has to keep both himself and Lizzie safe alone on the Campania.

Of course Sebastian joins him eventually in every one of these situations but slowly Ciel realizes that he can’t rely on Sebastian to save him 100% of the time and begins to develop skills of his own. Of course this comes to a head on the Campania when he sees Sebastian get seriously injured for the first time and has to come to terms with his invincibility being fallible. At that point he’s faced with a choice, to give in to fear and lash out at Sebastian for not being perfect or to accept the limitations and resign himself to being scared yet charge forward bravely. He stops seeing Sebastian as untouchable and while he certainly doesn’t forget that Sebastian isn’t human, he begins to treat him more as a person who is working with him towards the same goal. He even reciprocates the protectiveness a tad, in asking Sebastian to rest and also in his taunts to Ronald that “his butler could never be so weak as to lose to him” (paraphrasing).

The manga bears this pattern out, with the two of them sticking closer together than before when they go into the forest, seeking treatment together, not spending time alone, sticking close for the idol arc and partnering up for the current arc. Some of that closeness is fear, but it’s also an acknowledgement that they work better together than independently. There’s less of Ciel as a damsel in distress and more fighting together, tricking people together, discussing mysteries together.

And even still, the relationship is impossible to pin down. Partners in crime implies a similar skill level and a similar age (generalizing) which is certainly not the case here. Sebastian can do pretty much anything Ciel can, except for the things that only Ciel can do, such as leveraging his peerage and making connections based on human emotions, which Sebastian doesn’t have and doesn’t understand. The differences in age, in socialization, in levels of empathy, in species, in opinion, they are too tangled to come up with a single label and I love it.

I could gush about all the other reasons I love this series but it’s late and I have work in the morning so I’ll cut it here for now. Anyway, would love to hear people’s thoughts.

[thewickedspinster]

The Protector & the Prince (Aedion Ashryver x Reader)

a/n: this character and plotline has been in my head ever since i read throne of glass, so i'm lowkey thinking of making this a series? to explore the character and also her relationship with aedion? because there is a criminally low amount of aedion love out here (i'm happy to provide). lmk your thoughts in the comments!

content: aedion x fem!reader, aelin x reader platonic, rowan whitethorn ofc, spoilers for empire of storms & kingdom of ash, slight au where reader is taken by maeve instead of aelin

requested by anon

The Protector & the Prince

The dawn was chill and damp against your cheeks. Dew rose from the meadow below, kissing your hair and skin. Welcoming you home.

In the rocky hollow behind you, the Bane packed up camp. They were battle-weary, exhausted to the bone after years of fighting in the mountains. Last night at dusk, when the company had stopped, you had just been able to make out the spires of Orynth across the next hill. It had been a trial in will to halt, to take stock, to rest before making the final push across the Staghorns.

Today, you would return to the home you had been forced to abandon, to the people you called your own. To your queen. To your friends. The war had been won, they said. Word had come over the mountains in the form of a white-tailed hawk; the king himself had come to find you and call you home. He had said his queen commanded it.

Against your will and better judgement, the memories of the past decade flowed freely as you and your company hiked down into the vale, then up the other side, crossing the last line of mountains. The loss of Aelin, the fall of Orynth, the Assassin's Guild, the land of Erilea, the return of magic, and the nightmares of war. Yet by midday, Terrasen unfolded before you, green and golden as ever. Your heart strained against its cage, and the Bane's pace hastened to the city's gates.

When you had last seen this city, it had been white and glistening, a kingdom in its prime. You were but nine years old, a nameless child with no family, no wealth, who had been taken in by King Orlon, of all people, to guard his young niece and heir, Aelin Galathynius. Since, your fae lineage had been revealed, and his choice in you had become clearer; only you could have followed Aelin to the ends of the earth as you did. Only you could have kept her safe.

Now, Orynth was rebuilding. The people had begun to return, but their wariness was palpable as they turned from their work to observe the Bane walking down the main thoroughfare. Some bowed, but there was no fanfare. There was little room for celebration as the dust of war settled, and the work began.

Your mind was a muted whirlwind of thoughts. You had little idea what to expect upon seeing Aelin. You hadn't seen her since the day on the beach, when you had been taken by Maeve in her place. The war done, you no longer knew your place.

Besides all this, your heart pounded for entirely different, unwelcome reasons.

Aedion would be here.

Aedion, Aelin's cousin, the Wolf of the North, fearsome general and protector of a fallen kingdom, had always been your best friend. Your first friend in Orynth, the lifeline you held onto while training with Arobynn. Your closest confidant. The only person you needed. And gods, did you need him now, with the uncertainties rising and the past creeping in... As you approached the towering doors to the castle, you actually considered whether you could do this.

The walk up the sweeping marble steps took a millennium. Untouched, no one had been able to steal their grandeur, though the great doors were still missing. One step over the mighty threshold, two steps, and you had yet to collapse. Three steps, and you were blindsided, barreled into with such force you stumbled.

"Y/N," came Aelin's shaky breath in your ear. She clutched you close, her fingers digging into your leathers. You clung to her in turn, holding her as tightly as you could, breathing in the smell of her, free of blood and iron. "You made it."

"Hi," you laughed breathlessly. "Gods, Aelin. Hi."

And suddenly, everything was entirely right in the world. You were home. You were with your best friend. You had made it.

Reluctantly, Aelin let you go and addressed your company. The Bane, ever having been Aedion's to command, had been given to you in the wake of your return to the continent. You had earned their respect, earned your place as their general. But they were, of course, Aelin's to command. Her arm still around you, she thanked them and dismissed them.

Before you knew it, you'd been swept up to a grand chamber, Aelin with you, to wash and eat. Your head swirled with the welcome, with the shock of being back in this place you'd once called home. She spoke softly, bringing news of Rowan, Chaol, Dorian, Elide, and Manon. She skirted talk of fighting, of that day on the beach, and for that, you were grateful.

"How is Lysandra?" You asked, pulling a comb through your wet hair. The sun was setting, but you would luxuriate in this time with Aelin for as long as she'd allow. "I heard she became a sea dragon."

"She did. That, and more." Aelin laid out a tunic on the bed for you, and it all felt too much like evenings at the Guild, preparing for grand soirées (and murders). "Her and Aedion have finally made up. Thank the gods for that - the tension was borderline unbearable."

Your eyes flicked to hers in the mirror, but only just. You blamed the exhaustion for the way your heart stuttered. "I'm glad to hear it. One big happy family, right?"

She snorted. "Yeah, a right happy home we've got."

A knock came on the door, and a servant entered, summoning Aelin to her council chamber. The young queen groaned, but you saw how she straightened - how the mantle settled on her shoulders in a way that no longer looked entirely unbearable. She turned to you, saying, "You should rest, Y/N. Eat up here, and we'll talk more tomorrow."

You turned to look at her in full, smiling faintly, strained. "Tomorrow."

Your queen disappeared. In the sudden dimness of twilight, you were alone.

But, you supposed, there was a tomorrow. That alone was enough to help you breathe.

~~~

Dawn came too early. Despite your fatigue, you'd hardly slept. First, it was the dreams. Then, it was the contemplation. Would Aelin send you away? What would she have you do in service of her court? Would you even have a place? As a demi-fae of no noble birth and little standing, all you had was your training. Your violence.

You supposed that was worth something.

It was what drove you down to the training yard in the gray light before the sun, moving through the familiar dance of swordwork. Before long, sweat poured down your spine. As the sun rose over the yard, more soldiers came to train, though they hardly had a swordmaster to tutor them. Quietly, you placed your weapons back on the racks and slipped away, unnoticed.

It was down the second stone corridor you turned, then, that you first heard the soft laughter, the hushed tones.

"Isn't it too early for this?" A gasp, a giggle. "Surely there's a better place."

"No one will come down here. Besides, it's never too early for this."

You stopped dead. You knew that voice. You'd know that voice anywhere. You'd heard it in your dreams. You'd followed it in your darkest moments, guiding you home.

You turned on your heel and stalked in the opposite direction, chest aching, as the sounds of Aedion and Lysandra's tryst faded behind you.

~~~

Aelin had called a meeting for midmorning, and you were notified last moment. You were still straightening your fancy new attire - silver, threaded with dark vines - as you entered the privy chamber. It was nearly exactly as you remembered. Eerily exact, as it was. You kept thinking you'd see King Orlon leap out from behind the curtains to say it had all been a cruel jest.

Luckily, you'd had plenty of time to right yourself, as Aedion was embarrassingly late. Though you knew the likely reason why, you kept your mouth firmly shut, instead braiding your hair and reporting to Rowan Whitethorn on the state of the Bane. When that was through, and only then, did the doors open once more, and Prince Aedion swept in, not a hair out of place.

"Forgive the delay, Aelin," he said softly when his cousin gave him an arch look. "There were... urgent matters to attend to in the yard."

Rowan grunted, "Those soldiers need a proper swordmaster."

"Which is why we're all here," Aelin said, as if it were obvious. She was clearly bored with the court business, but she looked between you and Aedion as though she were expecting something... more. After an awfully long pause, she continued. "Now that we're all together again, I figured some rearranging of duties is in order. Aedion, the Bane are yours, should you want them. And Y/N, my Queensguard is yours."

Aedion looked satisfied, but you were rooted to the spot with shock. "Aelin, your Queensguard? Why not have Chaol do it, or something?"

"Because Chaol has his own wife, child, and parcel to handle."

"You're more capable," Rowan chimed. "Wouldn't have anyone else protecting my wife."

"I'd also like you to be my envoy to Rifthold, for the time being." You actually had to take a seat. The closest one was a large armchair adjacent to Orlon's massive, ancient desk. "You know the city - and the affairs of Adarlan - better than any of us. And Dorian asked for you. You're a far better diplomat than I ever was."

"You were simply never a diplomat," Aedion said flatly, but his attention was fixed on you. Had been since he entered the room.

"Thanks, I know." Aelin flipped her hair over her shoulder, perching on the edge of her uncle's desk. "Much more of a decisive type, don't you think? Anyways, Y/N, would you accept both positions?"

You truly had to think a moment. You were reeling, your breath coming shortly. You had feared that Aelin wouldn't have work for you, and now, you were to captain her Queensguard and act as envoy to Adarlan? The responsibility almost seemed too much to take on.

Without thought, you glanced over to Aedion, who was still watching you. You caught his scent as you did so, and the desire to launch yourself into his arms after so long apart, after such hardship, after thinking you'd both die, took your breath away. But he was steady as he watched you, and as he nodded once.

You returned it. Rose, squared your shoulders, and bowed to your queen. "I'd be honored to accept both charges."

Aelin and Rowan shared a glance this time, before Aelin said, "Don't answer right now, Y/N, but there was something else I wanted to ask." You quirked a brow. "If you'd join me, I'd have you as one of my bloodsworn. You've followed me through everything, given up everything for me, and there is no one I can count more loyal than you. I would have you by my side, in all things."

The blood drained from your head, but you felt uncommonly steady. You couldn't give her an answer, but you could reassure her that you weren't going anywhere.

You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around her, and she returned the embrace fiercely, burying her face in your shoulder. "My path has always been beside yours. Past and future. Not going anywhere."

Aelin lifted her head, eyes teary and brilliant. "Never again."

Flashes of the smell of iron, the taste of iron, the smothering of iron. Of a cell, of shattered realities, of a white wolf. They haunted your sleeping and waking moments. Had consumed you for so long.

The meeting was, for all intents and purposes, over. After parting, you gave barely a fleeting glance at Aedion, unable to deal with that emotional disaster at present, and strode from the room, already calling for all soldiers to report immediately to the yard.

You had work to do.

~~~

A month had passed, and your life was consumed with dust, sweat, the grunting of fighters, and the clash of steel on steel. You had selected a Queensguard from the soldiers who'd been in the city, but training them was something else entirely. They'd all seen combat in the war, of course, but that didn't mean they even knew how to swing a sword without tearing a muscle. It had been nigh on ten years since Orynth had had an organized militia of any kind. You were starting from scratch.

The men and women you'd selected were, of course, learning quickly. You wouldn't have chosen them if you didn't think them trainable. But they were reaching a plateau, and their progress was slowing. You were spending long hours training under the blistering sun, and even longer hours planning rotations and the coverage of major events in the castle. Aelin needed two guards with her at all times, and given the state of the Queensguard at present, you hardly trusted any of the new additions to protect her without you present.

Aelin's queendom was in its infancy, making it particularly fragile. Anyone could come for her - or the king - in an effort to change the political balance. It was something you couldn't chance, even if both king and queen could protect themselves admirably on their own.

All that being said, it was well into the evening, and you couldn't recall the last time you'd slept more than three hours. Or eaten a meal, actually. You sat back and threw down your quill, rubbing at your eyes. They'd grown weak and scratchy as you wrote by candlelight. The moon hardly helped, casting a silvery glow across the floor of your chambers.

A knock came at the door, and you didn't bother to sit up before calling, "Come!"

"Prince Aedion, Commander Y/L/N," the servant said. A second later, Aedion stepped in, shutting the door behind him in the servant's face.

You were still, watching him from under your brows as he approached your desk.

He stopped before you. "You look like hell."

"Thanks."

"That's a compliment."

"An absolute charmer, you are."

"I only mean to say you've been working hard. Aelin appreciates it."

"I know she does."

He suddenly looked like he was at a loss for words, something he hadn't been around you for... ever.

"Have you slept?" He finally managed.

"Do I look like it?" You gestured to your desk. "Lots to do. And I'm due in Rifthold next week."

"Are you going to take the blood oath?"

You sighed. "Don't you have something more useful to do than interrogate me?"

"I don't, actually," he snapped back, anger sparking. "Nothing more important than making sure you're alright."

"Funny, I thought you had a kingdom to defend. My mistake."

"The Bane are getting well-deserved rest. And thank to you, they're in top shape." He crossed his arms. "You led them well."

"I'd assume you'd know that, considering it was you who wanted me to lead them."

"Only because you needed something to do that would keep you safe."

Silence swallowed you whole as you stared at him. Fury turned your chest cold, your fingers numb. "Keep me safe?"

"You had no business being near the final battle for Terrasen," he snapped back. "Considering what you went through at Maeve's hands, you couldn't have been ready."

"So you sent me to babysit your troops?" You hissed, rising to your feet abruptly. "Are you serious, Aedion?"

Aedion sighed, exasperated. He held out placating hands. "This is going all wrong, Y/N. I'm not trying to upset you. I'm trying to make sure you're okay."

"What, because I was tortured? I can assure you, I'm a big girl. I can handle a few nightmares."

"Because I can hardly believe that you've healed," he nearly shouted. You leaned back. He said, quieter, "Because I know you haven't. You're throwing yourself into work to distract yourself. But it won't work forever."

He couldn't know just how right he was. It hurt, like a raw blister, the way he saw right through you. The way you wished you could bare your soul to him, let him comfort you, let him take care of you. You'd never had that, but you'd only ever wanted it from him. Your jaw was tight with hurt, and with fury.

"I gave you command of the Bane because I needed someone I could trust in the Staghorns. No one else could have earned their respect as you did." Aedion's gaze softened. "And selfishly, I wanted to keep you safe."

"I can take care of myself," you said, rather childishly.

"I know that."

"I don't need you to look after me. Not when you have other people to worry about."

The last had slipped out, unbidden, and you immediately cursed yourself for even saying it. Straight away, Aedion knew. His eyes sharpened, and you were glad to have the desk between you as his eyebrows rose.

"Lysandra," he said simply.

You stared back at him. "It's only natural."

"What? That I... frolicked with her, or that you're jealous of it?"

You scoffed. "'Frolicked?'" Seriously, Aedion? Are we twelve again?"

"We may as well be, for how well I feel I know you right now."

"You've known how I've felt about you for ages, Aedion. I know you have. You're blind, but you're not that stupid."

"Well thank you for that," he said, anger entirely abated. The snark of his remark missed its target. "Honestly, I only knew because Aelin told me."

"She told you back in Rifthold. I know. Before Arobynn was dead. Before I was free of him. Right in the midst of a shadow war." You gave a one-shouldered shrug. "But you always knew me best, Aedion. You had to have known before. But whether you did simply doesn't matter."

"How could it not?"

You straightened under his piercing stare, under the question in his eyes. "Because I have a job to do, and so do you. Aelin will always come before me, and I would never let anything, even you, come before her."

Aedion's mouth curved into a sad smile. "I know that."

Put off by the starkness of his honesty, you added, "And to be clear, I wouldn't be jealous of Lysandra. Her and I have been through enough. She's beautiful, and more than that, she's good. You deserve her."

"Lysandra has gone to Wendlyn."

"What?"

"We... I thought we'd gotten over the deception leading up to you being taken by Maeve, but we hadn't. She requested to leave, and Aelin gave her a job across the sea."

You were dumbfounded. So much so that you had to sit down. Lysandra, Aelin, and yourself had been the only ones to know of your plan to glamour yourself before arriving on the beach that day to greet Maeve's forces. As demi-fae, you had few powers, but one of the strongest was casting glamours. It was part of why you'd been so successful as an assassin at the Guild. Glamoured as Aelin, you'd been the one to be taken that day to Doranelle.

Anything for Aelin. Anything. Always.

Your voice shook as you said, "I will not be your second choice, Aedion."

"I'm not asking you to be," he murmured. "I'm asking you if you're alright."

Nearly. You nearly bent and broke, straight into him. Your mouth wobbled, but you managed to stand straight as you whispered, "I don't know who I am, now the bloodshed has stopped." When he said nothing, you drew a deep breath and continued. "Which means I'll keep fighting until I can sleep through the night."

"That's not how this works," he said evenly, and finally, he reached out, stopping himself just as his fingers grazed your sleeve. "You don't get to do this on your own, Y/N. We've always done this together - let me help you."

"You couldn't understand, Aedion."

And it was true. The things you'd gone through at Maeve's hands, at Arobynn's before her, no one could understand, least of all this prince. But as he touched you, for the first time in years, you felt your will against him falter.

You could have him, you thought. He's right there.

"Let me try," he breathed. His gold-rimmed eyes were desperate, soulful. Full of something you'd hardly dared admit to seeing before. Before Lysandra, when it was just you and him against the world. Desire. Admiration. Love? "Let me take care of you, Y/N. You've spent your whole life caring for us. Let me shoulder the burden, just for a little while."

The space stretched between you and Aedion, infinite. A breath. There was the truth, you realized. And you whispered:

"I'm scared, Aedion."

"I know, sweetheart."

He sensed it before it happened, and was around the desk in an instant, even as you fell back into your chair. Your breath came shortly, your chest crushed beneath the iron vice of memory. You'd failed to realize what it was to be rid of the constant routine of fight or flight, and now, that freedom came crashing down upon you as a wave, crushing your breath into teary gasps of air. Into sobs.

But Aedion was there, perched next to you, drawing you as close to him as he could. He pressed his mouth to your hair, your temple, your cheek, murmuring that he had you. That he was sorry. That Lysandra was only ever a distraction. That he'd loved you since you were children. That he had you. That he wouldn't let you go.

That you were safe now.

When the sobs subsided, you managed to lift your head, to look up at him through bloodshot eyes. He gazed on you fondly, his own eyes limned in silver. His hand smoothed over your hair, a gentle caress.

"You are the strongest female I have ever known," he murmured. "You may feel lost now, but we'll take this on together. Alright?"

"You have some explaining to do," you replied with half-hearted severity. "Frolicking with Lysandra isn't entirely forgiven, I'll have you know."

"Figured it wouldn't be."

"But... Together?"

"As it's always been, Y/N." He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours. "I swear."

"I'll hold you to it."

"Wouldn't expect anything less from my most fearless warrior."

You smiled, and leaned up just enough to take him by surprise, kissing him softly. With the tenderness of ten years of longing, of ten years of sacrifice and love.

He tasted of beginnings.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Jeremy and the minorities he loves to represent and apparently was born to

This post by @freedelusionshere cracked open a pattern that was right there in front of me for a while now and I hadn't really been paying attention to:

Jeremy Allen White's career choices

I won't go over every single role he ever played but overall his taste is quite distinctive and particular, he's into the marginalized, the anti-heroes, and the minorities.

He's not afraid of having to dive deep into his dark side to play addicts, disabled, depressed, suicidal, and traumatized human beings who struggle with mental health issues and don't always win their battles or are elegant about it.

His most famous roles are Lip Gallagher and Carmy Berzatto

Both addicts, the product of a traumatic upbringing with abusive parents and absent parental figures, with older siblings who played roles in his characters' lives that they shouldn't have due to the dysfunctional family dynamic they lived in.

He also played Kerry Von Erich, who lost his battle with addiction and a part of his leg as well and whose whole family was part of the problem, no matter how much they loved him. Kerry Von Erich was a fatal victim of his toxic environment and upbringing.

More about Carmy and Kerry's parallels here:

In Cornflower (short-film) Jeremy played the big half-brother of this little girl whose mother killed herself and he was in charge of "protecting" his baby sister from the news and sending her away

He's the Boss, the chef, the champ, the protector in his own fucked up way, but not really because he plays the shadow aspects of all those characters, otherwise, he's just not interested.

Jeremy once said (for GQ magazine) that if he played the romantic lead in a rom-com it would also have to be very sad.

And now, when he steps into The Boss' shoes leather jacket he doesn't play the idol, the icon, but one of his darkest moments.

Deliver me from nowhere

The movie tells The Boss' story during a time of his life that he described himself as dark and challenging, filled with isolation and loneliness.

I read Warren Zanes' novel a few months ago when I found out that JAW had been cast as the lead and LOVED IT. He also wrote Tom Petty's bio, which I haven't read yet (but definitely will because I love Petty) and served as VP of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, back when I still gave a fuck about it.

Zanes' Deliver Me from Nowhere captures that feeling completely. No wonder JAW felt compelled to play that part.

Nebraska, Springsteen's album (1982) was his 6th studio album and followed the widely successful and critically acclaimed album: The River and it was off-beat compared to its predecessors because it contained darker and more solemn lyrics but most importantly because The Boss lived up to his nickname and fought his Record label at the time (Columbia Records) refusing to tour to promote it. As a result the album only reached number 3 in both USA and the UK.

Bruce was going through a lot and having a hard time coping with fame and struggling to balance his personal life with his career, re-defining what the concept of "success" meant for him.

The book goes over that struggle and inner turmoil, it says it got to the point where the album was recorded by a Springsteen who literally couldn't get outta bed to do it. It was recorded in his bedroom.

The author says:

"Nebraska is the recording that matters the most in Bruce Springsteen's career. But not because of the hits it contains or it's renowned or because of its generation of young people played it on repeat while they searched for themselves in bedroom mirrors. It needs a different measure. Springsteen made the record when he was the object of tremendous expectations. (...) They were waiting for Born in the USA and that's not what they got, the truth was that Springsteen was a little lost."

Again, no wonder JAW got cast for this role.

I wish nothing but the best for him and I expect nothing but the best from his performance. I'm sure that it must be terrifying for him having to sing for the first time but the way I see it only 2 outcomes can come outta that: either he rocks or he's dubbed by The Boss himself who rocks even harder, so I'm cool.

This is the beast JAW has to tame (And make it relatable, moving, and hopefully award-winning):

The album's reverb-laden vocals and mood combined with dark lyrical content have been described by music critic William Ruhlmann as "one of the most challenging albums ever released by a major star on a major record label"

Source: Wikipedia.

I'm positive he can do it and I'll be there, watching and crying as he does.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[lassieposting]

Ideas I think have a lot of potential: Gur Tav/Durge. Especially with an Astarion romance.

Like. Maybe Tav grew up in the city, the child of parents who decided to give up the wandering lifestyle and settle down. Maybe they've ended up less in touch with their culture than they'd like, but they speak the language, and treasure the traditions and stories they learned from parents or grandparents. Maybe they're very attached to and proud of their culture, and mention it early, and their initial impression of Astarion is affected by his negative reaction, leading to a relationship built on bickering and making up.

Or maybe Durge spent their childhood on the road with a Gur camp, right up until Sceleritas paid them a visit for the first time and Urged them to massacre their foster family, and since they've lost their memories it's not until the party visits the Gur and witnesses the funeral rites that they realise they've seen something like this before - they remember those words.

Think of that moment, where Astarion snipes at Gandrel - "I thought all Gur were vagrant cutthroats."

Tav who immediately elbows him and tells him not to be a fucking bigot, darling. Tav who's shocked into making a joke - tell us how you really feel, why don't you? Gods. Tav who says nothing, politely sees Gandrel on his way, and then calmly reveals later on that their parent or grandparent was Gur (or foster family, if the Tav is Durge).

Tav who says, "You can't blame an entire people for what happened to you," and hears, "I think you'll find I can," hissed back in response, and challenges him: "So you blame me?"

And like. Of course he doesn't. Tav is, if not his lover yet, still his protector, his willing capri-sun, his shield against monster hunters like Gandrel. Tav didn't turn him over, didn't even let on that they knew him. He's left floundering, because he has no comeback that doesn't invalidate his entire attitude. He can no longer generalize the Gur people without also insulting someone he's starting to really like.

Tav sharing little snippets of their life as he gets to know them. Maybe they grew up in a camp like the one whose children he was forced to steal. Maybe they grew up in the city proper, largely divorced from their culture, but they have a little of the Gur language and learned some cultural traditions from a grandparent. Maybe they follow the Gur faith, and can translate the funeral rites the camp leader recites, or maybe they don't. Maybe, when he has night terrors and gets up in a state during their turn on watch, they distract him by telling him folk tales they learned from the Gur in their life, and he realises some are not all that different to the stories his "brother" Leon would tell his daughter Victoria. Bit by bit, mostly unintentionally, Astarion gets an unexpected glimpse into the world of a people he's seen as irredeemable curs for two centuries and change.

Somehow, the practices don't seem as absurd and primitive anymore. 200 years ago, Astarion the corrupt magistrate looked at the Gur culture and saw only the superstitious nonsense of a lesser people. Now, Astarion the vampire spawn is starting to see it for what it actually is: just...people, a different way of living, and a snapshot of the world through the eyes of a person he is beginning to fall in love with.

Anyway. Astarion being dragged kicking and screaming into having to reexamine his own racism because the person who saved him and loved him and chose him as he is comes from the same culture as the people who - due to his own shitty choices, though he'll never admit that - beat him to death all those years ago.

[eldragon-x-moved]

um in depth thoughts about my isat pokemon au I guess lol

Siffrin

Gimmighoul has been with Siffrin since around the coin incident. It carries around his silver coin and just kinda stuck around.

Idol Pikachu and Pawniard have been with Sif since he can remember. I thought a generic cute mon like Pikachu would match with his own generic but cute design while the idol cosplay references his love for stage plays. Pawniard being a mon associated with blades matches with his scissor type, him using a dagger, and his hobby of wood carving.

The Psychic types are all Pokemon Siffrin aquired during the loops and represent aspects of their character that are explored during the events of the game. Beeheeyem is an alien-like Pokemon that can manipulate memories and represents Sif's feelings of alienation and his memory issues. Clefable are associated with space and look up to the sky at moonlit nights yearning for their home, representing his homesickness. And Gothitelle can see the future by looking into the starsky, sometimes grieving when they see their trainer's lifespan. It represents Siffrin's fear of the future.

Pikachu is their main Pokemon. I've also thought about giving them a Klefki which would suit their role as a Rogue but they already had a full team of six and I was pretty happy with the choices.

Mirabelle

Luvdisc, Tinkaton, and Alomomola are all mons that have been with Mira since before her journey. I gave her Luvdisc since it's said that couples who see those would be blessed with eternal love and I feel like that myth is the kinda thing she would be into, given she enjoys romance fiction. Alomamola is here both because it's a healer Pokemon, and because people compare it to Luvdisc a lot. And Tikaton feels like the brand of cute but powerful/menacing that I think suits Mira.

Virizion, Aegislash, and Gallade are all Pokemon that more or less play into her Chosen One role. Virizion she got soon after she recieved Euphrasie's blessing. It felt appropriate to give her a Legendary Pokemon and I decided to go with one of the Swords of Justice since she herself is a swordfighter and the Swords are known as fierce protectors, matching her and her role. I picked Virizion specifically since its known for its speed which feels like a fitting contrast to the King's ability to freeze time plus there's some irony with it being a Grass Type while Mirabelle isn't very good at raising plants.

Aegislash still follows the swordfighter theme and is possibly the mon that embodies her Chosen One role the most, despite Virizion. In the past people who where chosen by Aegislash were to become kings, which again has some irony considering it's pointed out how strange it is that Vaugardians refer to the King as such seeing as it's not a monarchy. But I mostly thought of it from the angle of Mirabelle supposedly being chosen by divinity. I think she either got this Pokemon as a gift from Euphrasie when the house was frozen or a pre-evolved form from a Vaugardian citizen. Additionally Aegislash is a Pokemon from Kalos, which is based on France. And yknow Vaugarde takes inspiration from France too.

Gallade I think was her last Pokemon added to the team. It's kind of a generic heroic and noble Pokemon. It's pre-evolved form can also see into the future matching Mira's strive towards the future and change. I also thought it would be cute to have her match with Isabeau's Gardevoir.

I think Mirabelle's main mon would either be Tinkaton or Virizion. Though I have to say in retrospect I really regret not giving her a female Jellicent because I would happily replace either Tinkaton or Alomomola with one. Like it's a cute Pokemon that's actually really morbid and drowns people. Mirabelle is a sweet and anxious person who surpisingly loves horror books. Why didn't I think of this earlier!! Agh anyway, I also felt it was appropriate to make her the one person to have a full team of six besides Siffrin.

Odile

Hatterene, Lapras, and Mawile are all Pokemon Odile already had before coming to Vaugard. Hatterene resembles a witch, matching with Odile being a mage. It's also a Pokemon that can sense the emotions of other living things, gets overwhelmed by them, and acts aggressive in response which I feel suits with Odile coming across as cold and abrasive and not being very good at feelings. Lapras is here because it's a mon known for travelling long distances across the sea and we know Ka Bue is very far off from Vaugarde. Additionally the species used to be endangered so it might throw in a red herring about what Odile's research is about.

Hatterene and Lapras also both have this imposing regal presence which fits the surface level impression one might get from Odile. Serperior continues this pattern of being regal and imposing but I also put it here for other reasons. I wanted to reflect Odile being half-Vaugardian and longing to connect with Vaugardian culture in her team, so I chose to give her a Serperior which has an obvious french influence with its Fleur de lis patterns. Though I also chose it because it's one of my favorite Pokemon and Odile is my favorite character after Loop and Siffrin 👍

On the other end I also wanted a Pokemon with a clear Japanese ispiration since she comes from Ka Bue, which also has Japanese inspiration. So I gave her Mawile which is based on the yōkai Futakuchi-onna. I also thought it would be fitting to give her a literal two-faced Pokemon since she comes across as rather harsh and logical but genuinely cares for her party and has a soft side.

Lastly she has a Dedenne which I imagine she picked up during her journey with the party. A lot of scientists in Pokemon have Electric-Steel dual types which I wanted to give her since she's a researcher but nothing really fit. Instead she got a Steel Type with Mawile and an Electric Type with Dedenne! Which, by the way, is unlike Serperior an actual kalonian Pokemon so it adds to that theme too. Dedenne also uses its whiskers as antennas to communicate over vast distances and I'm sure she'd appreciate a Pokemon this convenient. Sidenote in the tags of my original ISAT Pokemon team post someone said they liked the contrast between Odile's overall more graceful Pokemon and then there's Dedenne which actually isn't even something I really thought about!

I believe Hatterene would be Odile's main. Other considerations for her team would've been Froslass instead of Mawile, though I decided Mawile fits better, and Delphox which is both a mage and another kalonian Pokemon.

Isabeau

Abra is a Pokemon Isa has had since he was a child. He was a nerdy kid and the third evolution stage, Alakazam, is well known for being intelligent so it fits. Though it still remains in its first stage since Isa hasn't been training it in battle for a long time, but its still important to him and part of his team.

Machamp and Gardevoir are also Pokemon who have been with him for a long time, becoming part of his team not long before he joined the Defenders. Again, Gardevoir matches with Mirabelle's Gallade. It's also a very protective and loyal Pokemon and it's pre-evolved form is rather perceptive of other's emotions. Meanwhile Machamp is a strong physical fighter.

Furfrou and Eevee are more recent additions to his team, joining Isabeau during his journey with the party. Furfrou are from Kalos and used to be royal guard dogs though nowadays they're popular for how much their fur can be styled, which suits Isa's desire to become a fashion designer imo. As for Eevee, which can evolve in many different ways and really suits the whole theme of change, I was actually considering giving him an Eeveelution but Isa is very well aware that he still wants to grow and change as a person so an unevolved Eevee matches him in that. I also just think a simple cute Pokemon like that would speak to his tastes.

I think Gardevoir would be his main mon though I can also see his Eevee becoming one.

Bonnie

Pansear and Slurpuff are both Pokemon Bonnie has had since before the King. Pansear is here both because I really wanted to give Bonnie a fire type and because I always associate it with cooking/baking because I always remember one specific baker npc from Pokemon Black and White that uses a Pansear lol. Slurpuff is obviously a food based Pokemon and again, from Kalos. It also has a strong sense of smell which would be useful to Bon.

Riolu joined the team during Bonnie's journey. It is an active and energetic baby Pokemon which suits Bonnie wanting to play their part in the party but being put on the sidelines by the adults. Something about Bonnie wanting to be strong and Riolu evolving into a strong mon.

Pansear is their main but I can see Riolu reaching that status too. I also thought it would be fitting to have Bonnie have the smallest team.

Loop

Gimmighoul is the one Pokemon they could never get rid of, and the only one remaining from their original timeline.

Mimikyu is meant to be a twisted reflection of Siffrin's Pikachu. A pitiful envious reflection that is in reality much more unpleasant than the real thing.

Celebi is here both because of timetravel and because it lives in forests and Loop always sits under the Favor Tree. Funfact! One of the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games has a plot about time being frozen where a supporting character is a Celebi.

Yamask actually manifest from the ghosts of passed away people. Their mask will show their face as it was when they were still living and sometimes they will look at it in grief.

Xurkitree is here partially because of its design, yes, but also because it can enter and tree-like state. and Favor Tree.

I think Gimmighoul would be their main. Potential Pokemon I considered Blacephalon but I couldn't really justify it beyond "they're goofy so they get a clown pokemon" and giving them a mythical and one ultra beast was enough. plus while them having a full team would be appropriate with their secret boss status, I can hardly imagine Loop really taking care of their mons much, especially not a full team.

okay that w as a lot im gonna go to bed now goodnight. passes out

[riskyalt]

BACK ON ORDEM IN THE QSMP BULLSHIT LETS GO PART 3

q!Etoiles choosing Death is also an interesting choice in my eyes.

Death is about distorting the temporal effect and having apathy towards the effect that death can generate.

We know q!Etoiles is incredible self sacrificial, seen as the Codeslayer or The Shield, we observe q!Etoiles not taking his own safety - or life - into consideration when going to battle a Code or beat another dungeon. He always says things like he wants to die, or that he whishes to be free, and that type of dissafection and apathy towards cessation is typical of Death. Everything has a start and an end, and q!Etoiles doesn't see how his demise would affect anything around him. He's just another pawn on the chessboard, born to fight.

The Codes killed him - albeit unfairly - but too bad. Try again. That temporal effect is already distorted for him, and Death is such a natural choice in that regard.

Blood's carnal perception is ruined by Death because everything has its own time. q!Etoiles never attacks first as stated repeatedly by him, and thus he never attacks without reason or on personal bias. He is a protector and peacekeeper, but not with the logic of Knowledge or with the extreme emotion of Blood.

Death is beaten by Energy's transformation as it overloads Death's effects. The Codes don't follow the natural order of something dying and then staying dead. They transform into islander's loved ones and deceive, cheat death and fight without honor. q!Etoiles has lost to them so little times he can recall them all with perfect clarity, and he feels resentment towards himself and the Codes because of this.

[pawmesan]

You know, this one particular phrase from Gou in episode 133 bothered me when I first watched the ep and it still bothers me a lot, even though I think I know why it's there now:

Hi hello I'm back with a textwall about Gou lmao. So yeah, what bothered me about this line in particular was that it came pretty much out of nowhere. Even worse, his character arc throughout the whole show had been him learning to let others in and letting them help him instead of going on ego trips all the time. So for 100+ episodes we have this slow and imo great build up to Gou learning exactly that. To communicate with his Pokémon and people, to work together with them instead of denying help because he had always been on his own when younger. Then suddenly this sentence is meant to be a new and important realisation of his and leads to a sudden 180 arc in the last few episodes of him lamenting being too reliant on Satoshi and others in general. And that's why he has to travel on his own now. You know, if there had been clear build up to that, I wouldn't have minded that conclusion at all. People first being reluctant to trust anyone and then clinging too much to someone to a point where they're scared of doing anything if they're not around is a very real thing and a nice idea for a character arc. But the issue here is that the "too dependent" sentiment suddenly happened in the last four episode of the series, with no signs whatsoever beforehand that he was over relying on his Pokémon or Satoshi. Quite the opposite, he's always been perfectly fine with doing things on his own. It's noticeable that he was still worried about having to work with others without Satoshi around, but the entire Project Mew arc took care of that. As for the Pokémon, he's often taken the role of the person the Pokémon rely on too, an obvious example being Grookey. The very episode he says this and its follow up even focus on Grookey taking the role of the protector instead of the protected for once. Also whenever Gou does rely on his Pokémon, it's in situations where he obviously would have to, unless he thinks he's a prick for having his physically stronger Cinderace battle a Pokémon instead of him himself throwing fists with idk, Mewtwo lol.

So even though him saying he's spooked of travelling alone and being too scared to tell Satoshi directly while Satoshi comforts him is a cute scene in the end, it is also a decision on Gou's end that didn't have any build up. Him saying in the episode prior that he chose this because he'd rely on Satoshi too much didn't have any build up.

Anipoke is no stranger to throwing in jarring decisions at the end to justify the existence of the next series, Game Shark user Tobias from DPP being probably the most obvious and famous example of that. But, correct me if I'm mistaken, it's never harmed an individual character's writing that much. Heck, it's never harmed a relationship between two characters as much. Satoshi and Gou had been built up as these best friends 5ever who slowly become closer and closer throughout the series. Gou says in the second to last episode that he thinks Satoshi would totally just tell him to go for it, to do the solo journey if he feels like it. It's exactly what he said too, so Gou certainly understands his buddy by now. However, this scene would have been the perfect opportunity to have Satoshi be called out on his niceness there, because sure he's a nice and supportive dude. But we know that he enjoys hanging out with Gou. We know that he misses him when he's not around. Heck, we see in the last episode, when they seperate, that he's not exactly happy to part ways with his friend. He completely puts Gou's sudden desire to travel by himself over his own desire to keep being around his friend. As if there's some outside force that forces them to separate against their will. As if they didn't have a choice but to go separate ways because what they wanted to do was impossible with the other around. But in the epilogue (and MPM) they literally do the same things they did together the 100+ episodes prior, so there clearly was no narrative reason for this.

So with all that said. Sorry for the longass text lol, I was thinking about just throwing this into my Satogou essay, but I don't think it really fits there so here we go. SO WITH ALL THAT SAID I think MPM's existence, the way the series goes, the knowledge of what the last episode seems to be about, the knowledge of the change of executive producer between JN and MPM and Yuyama's Animedia interview about MPM, I think the reason for the sudden change in character makes sense. Hear out my super kewl theory

The Yuyama interview makes it sound quite clear that MPM wasn't exactly planned ahead, unlike decisions like Satoshi winning the PWC and making way for a new series this year. It feels oddly disconnected from the series, because even though Satoshi uses old Pokémon and briefly travels with Misty and Brock again, the places they visit are deliberately nameless. And the episodes themselves, while conceptually just like any other "helping Pokémon of the day" episode prior, have little connection to stuff that happened in the actual show outside of small references like Rattata or Beedrill. While we still have to see the conclusion to the Latias plot, it feels more like a spontaneous idea to connect these 10 episodes until the last one than anything.

Oh also a relevant tidbit of information is that Yuyama equated the title of Pokémon Master to a rainbow, e.g. something you're fascinated by and try to reach without ever being actually able to. Might explain JN's heavy usage of rainbows, at least to some extend.

In conclusion, I think what has happened is that JN was written with it being Satoshi's last series in mind. And Gou has been written as the ideal counterpart to him, basically. He's essentially the Lugia to Satoshi's Ho-oh if you wanna, hence both of these mons appearing in the last JN ep. So from his conception, Gou was never meant to go separate ways with Satoshi. But then they realised they have three whole months to fill until the new series is able to premiere. And the idea of MPM was basically born, Misty and Brock as a no brainer nostalgia bait (as per Yuyama's words, the decision to have them be the companions for MPM was so certain he doesn't even remember how they got to the conclusion), episodes that fill the void until the new show etc. Of course to recreate the og trio, they'd have to get rid of anyone but Satoshi from the previous show. How do you get rid of a character that has been established as basically having no reason to leave the other main character and who's relationship with said character had been highlighted so much in both the show and promotional material? You just make up a reason lmao.

And yeah, I mean, as I said, Anipoke is no stranger to sudden decisions like that. Shudo, the chief director from OS to Johto said how he wanted to give the show a proper ending and wasn't able to because the show had to go on. The DPP series was clearly written to build up to Satoshi winning the league (and him potentially getting replaced entirely, since Gen 5 was initially meant to be a fresh new start to the franchise). XY also very clearly was building him up to win the league. Each time it was stuff that happened in the last few episodes that certainly didn't look like they were anywhere near planned ahead. And I am almost 100% certain the same happened in JN with Gou and the sudden change of heart in these last few episodes.

Had to write all this because not only did the decision itself bother me of course (don't get me wrong, I am genuinely looking forward to the new series and MPM had its neat moments so far, but the way JN, Satoshi's series and Gou ended was a wholeass mess imo) but other I've kinda been frustrated about how many people went "hahah told yall so Gou would leave XD GOne" (that pun IS funny tho). Like, no you guys, a broken clock is also right twice a day yada yada. I highly doubt yall saw MPM coming. I high doubt yall expected Satoshi's story to end. I highly doubt you could have been able to tell me what reasoning they'd come up with to have Gou and Satoshi separate. You guys' reasoning had always just been "because they always did it (except for the times they didn't)". Because the thing is, I had written them all up at some point, but all the arguments for Gou staying were based on what the series itself presented and relied 1) on Satoshi staying and 2) the producers of the show not changing their mind last moment to justify the existence of the next series. I'm gonna go ahead and assume the executive producer of JN (Tomiyasu) saw more importance in Gou and Satoshi's relationship and Gou's importance as a character, given that he's probably partially responsible for it being a thing in the first place, than the executive producer of MPM (Yuyama), who has worked on the series as it started and notably would rather stick to the traditions of the show instead of trying out new things. That's why JN's ending feels so out of nowhere and that's probably also why MPM feels so disconnected from the rest of the series, almost more like a spin-off. While Tomiyasu is much more keen on bringing new ideas and concepts into the series. You can see that, as once he started having a bigger influence on the series with Sun and Moon, there's notable changes in setting, writing of characters etc.

Now this was a really long rant fr lol oops. Uhhh... Gou best boi, I am glad the Satogou fandom is still alive and kicking, stay gold, Satogou Day is in two days and I completely forgot about it tho oops

[cherryxblossxms]

Hmm I'm really intrigued by Faust and Vlad so dealers choice for D and V (or both of them if you want~)

Ugh Faust my beloved 💙 Vlad is very interesting to me but he's still strange to consider as a suitor for some reason?? But I'll give him a try, thank you!

(Writing this as I'm like midway in Faust's route, so if some stuff is dead wrong, we'll pretend it isn't~)

Faust

D for Dirty (How do they dirty talk? What do they say?)

He has this horribly sexy combination of praise and degradation that he uses on you in bed, and it feels practically sinful how good it hears out of his lips. He makes sure you know how naughty you're being, whether it's pointing out the noises you're making (and then doing something to purposefully draw them out), commenting on your expressions, or describing your body's reactions to his loving attention.

But no matter how dirty he makes you out to be, he also makes you feel like you're the perfect being to him because of it. Calling you his dirty little angel, telling you how lovely you look so debauched and positively sinful you seem. He makes a lot of threats promises about the things he'll do to you, and you can bet that he definitely follows through... To be clear, despite how dirty he might make you feel, he ensures you feel cherished too and that he's right down in that dirtiness with you.

V for Voyeur (What do they like to watch their partner do?)

I think he'd be into mirror sex, so he'd enjoy watching your reflection in the mirror as you try riding him. In general, he likes seeing you work for your pleasure, if he's feeling particularly sadistic.

Going off that same sadistic personality he tends to have, he likes to see you try to take charge in the bedroom. Not that he doesn't mind being in charge normally, he just likes to see you fluster as you try to turn the tables on him and rile him up. Don't get it wrong, anything you do does work on him, he's susceptible to your loving no matter how clumsy or inexperienced it may be, and it's your willingness to try that means the most to him. But he may laugh a little at your expense, unfortunately.

Vlad

D for Dirty (How do they dirty talk? What do they say?)

He's a bit of a tease in bed, but for the most part, he will be very sweet with his words. Calling you gorgeous, handsome, beautiful, treasure, the light of his life — he is the cheesy lover that almost makes you feel embarrassed lol.

He's also possessive, and that comes out in his words in bed. He'll be sure that you understand that you are his, that no one else can have you now, he simply won't allow it. Your noises belong to him, your expressions, the softness of your skin, your sweet lifeblood... Relating to the descriptors above, most of it will be preluded with "my", like "my lovely", "my light", etc. He will give you all the pleasure you could ask for so that you never want to leave, and he's also your protector; and given how long your romance was in the making, he'll fight the Devil himself before he ever gives you up.

V for Voyeur (What do they like to watch their partner do?)

He loves to see you in the throes of passion, eyebrows furrowed and eyes burning with lust and pleasure. He gets a little addicted to your facial expressions when you cum for him, and it may lead to him overstimulating you just to see you make the same expressions again. You can bet if he had a camera, he'd take photos of you during sex or immediately after, when you're still trying to catch your breath, body twitching as you come down from your high. He also likes taking photos of his cum on/in you, too, proof of his loving on your skin, along with all the little markings he leaves on you.

[sapphire-weapon]

I'm just curious on whether his ending is more likely to match OG, Remake or both. If we're being brutally honest, his OG characterisation is a complete mess. He's likeable and fun to play and watch, I know, but in terms of story and development, especially implied things behind the scenes... they've had a LOT lf trouble writing Leon. I think OG CAN have a satisfying ending. At least not one that Capcom will bother to write. The remakes seem to want to slowly fix and piece together who Leon is and what he thinks and feels in a way that's consistent and more believable. It's why his interactions with others are completely different to the OG storyline. Depending on how he's handled (which he will be... the remakes are bringing in headache inducing piles lf cash), Remake Leon may just be able to be coherent enough to have an eventual end that really ties up his story and shows him actually learning something and facing his fears. What people need to understand is, the most important relationship at the end of Leons story is between him and the US government. Not a ship. Not any ship. It's about breaking his own chains, recognising his responsibilities and mistakes and finally taking a step for himself, by himself, without help after all of these years. The end goal is not "whos ship wins in a vague document", because it's completely irrelevant and imposes a threat of DOING THE SAME THING THAT RE6 DID AND COMPLETELY FUCKING UP THE CHARACTERS that the wider audience justifyably hates.

what i can tell you is that, if i were to write Leon's ending, i would have him retire without really retiring.

have him break away from the US government and have him create his own shadow organization that:

A. trains the next generation

B. goes after the heart of the problem with the intention of actually putting an end to this shit instead of just putting out fires like the gov't had him do

C. operates in a way that he finds ethically/morally right

this gives him autonomy to make his own choices and follow his personal, specific brand of justice that he's been ignoring since he was 21 -- and it also gives him something (and an entire team of someones) to nurture, in line with his Protector archetype.

it also has the secondary benefit of allowing him to make cameos in future installments and making the next generation of protagonists feel connected to the original story.

like, i guess they could just make a full-blown Nero/Jake and create a son that Leon never knew about for the next generation but

this feels way better LOL

[echoeternally]

Bowser Buddies (ENY)

For the ongoing Mario fanfic that I'm working on, there are some additional characters that were included as Bowser's extra loyal allies. Someone requested a little more information about their background and descriptions, so, here's that!

Background blurb: Conceptually, these characters were supposed to feel similar to Paper Mario 1 & 2 partners, but for Bowser instead of Mario. It was a fun idea that floated into my brain, and I just rolled with it. When I knew that Bowser and Mario were going to be facing adversity to having a relationship from both kingdoms, I wanted to make sure that Bowser had support past Junior and the Koopalings. It felt stronger to include characters from races that his army employed, rather than other high-ranking leaders (Petey Pirahna, King Boo, King Bob-omb, etc.), so that way it would show he still could appeal with his citizens. Also, it allowed the inclusion of rainbow color friends for the obvious reasons, lol.

Goomphen the Goomba / Spiked Goomba (Brown): He’s a Goomba with eyes that are wider than the usual Goomba, and with flatter teeth too. The teeth were meant to be similar to Goombario’s teeth, who was the first partner in the first Paper Mario. The eyes were meant to emphasize his usual demeanor tending toward the fearful side. Following the Paper Mario origin, I decided that his advanced form would be similar to the Spiked Goomba, which was an enemy type that debuted in the series. To make his appearance more unique, I gave him four spikes on top of his cap rather than one, which felt like believable compensation for his otherwise timid nature. (More spikes for more defense, repelling enemies from attacking.) His features in general tend to make him stand out more than he would like, which only furthers his unnerved personality.

Koopaella the Koopa / Koopatrol (Purple): She’s a Koopa with a purple shell and matching purple shoes! Very exciting ideas going, I know. To help her stand out more, and because I knew that I wanted her to become a Dark (Elite?) Koopatrol, I gave her the ruby eyes to match the designation. Continuing the homage to the Paper Mario partner tradition, she was the second partner, and her alternate form was that of a Paper Mario original enemy. With Goombella being the second version of a Goomba partner and since we had two Koopa boys in a row, I thought it would make sense to have a Koopa girl for this one; the “ella” suffix was also pays homage to Goombella. Since she’s typically a serious type, she tends to have a stoic expression, turning kinda prideful when Bowser praises her and souring to annoyance or anger when dealing with enemies…or nuisances like Nix. Guard characters in Paper Mario tended to carry spears as weapons, so that tends to be her default choice; I like to imagine that she carries a sword around as well, because a Koopatrol seems like a Koopa knight equivalent.

Tech Guy the Shy Guy / Fly Guy (Blue): This is a Shy Guy that wears blue robes instead of the usual red, and tends to carry around a dark blue / indigo backpack full of gadgets (and matching shoes). The idea is that he has multiple kinds of devices to employ, true to a Shy Guy’s versatility in using a variety of weapons. He later gains a light blue propeller to take on the Fly Guy form, allowing him to navigate air spaces as needed. To keep the assortment idea going, his default weapon tends to be a spear, allowing him to switch into Spear Guy weaponry and tactics. Though I don’t think I ever elaborated on the bag, it’s meant to carry anything a Shy Guy would need to help keep the class changes going. Stilts, skates, slingshots…you name it, he’ll game it. (Since he’s a smart guy, pun intended, I was considering if he should have maybe a pocket protector or something too.) He was also meant to give a bit of a break to the Paper Mario exclusives pattern, since his two main forms weren’t originally from those games.

Jasmine the Snifit / Scorchit (Yellow): A Snifit that wears a yellow, perhaps floral robe. The idea of a Koopa Troop member wearing a sunshine color but employing bullets as weaponry seemed funny to me. Even her name makes you feel like she’s not a threat, keeping the flower theme going. (Probably wears green boots too. Maybe wears a flower crown when nobody’s looking…or maybe just for fun regardless of anyone around.) To make the contrast even more jarring, her upgraded form that appears later is to allow her nozzle to fire not only bullets, but fireballs as well, with flames being a notable opposite to flower petals. The nozzle even added soot and burn marks to her mask, making it even more horrifying to think that this seemingly sweet Snifit is actually a scary force of strength. (Don’t mess.) Technically, a Snifit that shoots fire out is known as a Scorchit, but I don’t recall how often (or ever) using that term for her. Similar to her Shy Guy companion, I liked the idea more that she would be able to switch her type of powers around with various nozzle swaps or storage capacity, but…I don’t think I ever got around to that. Fun idea though! Also, it was nice to swipe something from the Yoshi franchise, since that’s where the Scorchit enemy originates.

Niall the Paratroopa / Shining Paratroopa (White): The Feather Duster himself! It seemed funny to picture a type of servant member in Bowser’s army being…an actual servant. So, that’s where this fellow came in! He wears a white shell and boots to match his wings, and carries around his nicknamesake: a feather duster! (But a twist is that he actually has multiple! One that he has is with a black rod and white wiper, one that’s red and blue, and one with green and pink. Probably would wear gloves like Mario does too, because that’d fit.) I remember originally looking to see variations on Koopa Paratroopas and finding nothing exciting outside of the Paper Mario Sticker Star enemy, which stuck out since I came up with the silly notion of, “Oh, haha, that would fit his character, having a shell so cleaned that it shines, ha…wait a minute, that’s good.” So, his upgraded form would be a Shiny Paratroopa, which I renamed into Shining Paratroopa to emphasize it a little more and to make the sparkling seem more of an intentional/offensive choice. The shell would sparkle more than usual, but could be made to glimmer in a bright, blinding light; that’s easier to magnify combining it with sunlight or starlight, which is easy for a Paratroopa to fly around and find. He tends to have a cheerful or innocent expression, although whenever his name is forgotten, he gets a bit distressed.

Nix the Rex / Winged Rex (Black): Everyone’s favorite minion of the minon squad, and I’m actually pretty happy about it. I have a soft spot for Rexes, which I thought would make a natural counterpart to Yoshis. Nintendo never made that happen, sadly, but it still seems fun in my mind! I liked making the color choice similar to a Black Yoshi, with white colors where the Rex would normally have orange or red colors: boots, belly, wings. Though he’d have the usual small nose spike of a Rex, he also has more spikes on his tail. The white wings are more avian like, since his appearance was intended to be comparable to the Winged Yoshi power-up form for Yoshi, and allowing the normally flightless Rex to actually fly. His eyes being green seemed nicer than having the squinty expression, and kinda to call-back to Yoshi too. (I preferred the expressions from the Rex debut in Super Mario World and its artwork, as opposed to whatever Mario & Luigi attempted.) Due to being flirtatious, his expression would normally include smugness, lowered eyes, lip licking, and probably a few winks thrown in.

Ruby the Boo / Shifting/Morphing Boo (Red/Pink): Pretty much the red/pink type of Boo variant found in the Mario Party games. By the time I had a color theme set, I saw this and felt like it was a simple yet fun inclusion. It also covered both red and pink colors, which I was wondering what to include next and thought it was easier to knock two out at once. (Probably should’ve used both, but, it works well enough, I suppose!) Expression-wise, just a standard Boo with a big toothy grin. The idea of the upgraded form, which involves Ruby changing his shape to others, came from the types of ghostly enemies that were labeled as Boo enemies, but also resembled different species from Bowser’s army, such as a Fishing Boo from Super Mario World resembling a Lakitu, and a Boo Guy from Yoshi’s Island looking like a Shy Guy. Having a Boo that could change its shape and transform felt like a fun and fitting ascended form that a Boo might gain, so I went with the unique name(s) of Shifting Boo / Morphing Boo. There are two names because I am extremely indecisive and liked both ideas. If he’d wear a costume/outfit, I like to think it would be similar to the outfit that Boo used in Mario Party 4, but red and pink instead of blue and yellow; he’d also make fun of Magikoopas while wearing it.

Olive the Blooper / Poison Blooper (Green): Harmonizing with Ruby is Olive, because a red Boo deserves a green Bloo…per. Since there wasn’t an aquatic selection, and I wanted one that could apparently move on (or rather over) land without choking to breathe, a Blooper seemed like a nice choice. (Several Mario spin-offs that showcased them just kinda floating around helped influence the choice.) Respectful and diligent in terms of personality; I like to think she’d be the one that works hardest to just show off her work ethic. Being so prim and proper might cause others around her to feel lesser in conjunction with the busybody tendencies. She kind of borders on a dangerous line to being the mom friend of the group, but has no desire to be a mom, so take that as you will. Defying the easy upgrade for a Blooper, which is to the Blooper Nanny that’s in charge of mini (child) Bloopers, she takes on a Poison Blooper form to gain an asset in power. This also made her feel like a portable Gooper Blooper in my mind, because Sunshine, why not?

Bombkin the Bob-omb / Tail Bob-omb (Orange): The only holiday themed character and I still have no idea why I went that route, but this is a pumpkin styled Bob-omb! His fuse is green to mimic a stem, his eyes are yellow to mimic candlelit eyes of a jack-o-lantern, his main body is obviously orange because pumpkin, and there are additional appendages (wind-up key, feet) that are also green to continue the plant features. He has diligence but also tends to end up annoyed frequently, considering everyone telling him that he looks like a pumpkin and that his name is like a pumpkin and this is just his life really. To make matters worse, he ended up getting knocked into a Super Leaf by Goomphen, and gained the tail power-up for a Tail Bob-omb. Worse still, the coloration ended up being orange and green, only matching with his pumpkin theme and continuing his misery.

Glaucus the Buzzy Beetle / Spike Top (Gray/Grey): Oldest member of the group because they tend to be slow moving enemies and I thought that tracked well enough. Dark brown/black eyes and the gray shell give a solid calming vibe that also extends to his characterization. Including a Buzzy Beetle felt right because the species has been around since the first Super Mario Bros. game, and yet there are very few moments that they ever matter (probably because Koopas), with only one notable member of the species that I’ve found. (From Paper Mario, no less, but not a partner for Mario.) Even new forms of Buzzy Beetles feel scarce and I felt like his new form to a Spike Top was the most noteworthy option to work with, since that is also a common Mario enemy type that is mostly ignored. The idea of his unique role being shared with another ally (Spiked Goomba) felt a little funny too, since he stands out even less for lacking originality.

[kuradoberijam]

Yata M~I~S~A~K~I~

I was waiting for something like this! Now I get to display my psychotic attachment in full view on this blog with no regrets!

 Sexuality Headcanon:

I don’t feel like classifying him as strictly gay or strictly bi really does him justice. He definetly likes men but his internalized homophobia is kicking him into the dirt on a daily basis.

Gender Headcanon:

Transmasc he/they. He probably takes off his binder every day and gets jumpscared by the fact that he has boobs still attached.

A ship I have with said character:

If you’ve been following me long enough you already know that I’m a Sarumi/Misaru enjoyer.

A BROTP I have with said character:

My knee jerk response is that Kamamoto is his most loyal bro but a more unconventional choice I think has potential is that I could see him getting along with Doumyoji.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Misaki and Mikoto. Sorry. It’s just not my cup of tea whatsoever for a whole host of reasons I don’t feel like getting into.

A random headcanon:

We’re going for a very controversial music taste one. I feel like he enjoys 90s rap and also whatever the hell Pierce the Veil is. I have gotten in debates with my friends over this and I regret absolutely nothing.

General Opinion over said character:

He’s like the most interesting bug pinned to my corkboard squirming in fear and from the moment I remembered he existed, the cogs in my brain did the thing that they do and I decided that I simply had to have him.

He is genuinely one of the best developed characters in K Project and I say this unironically. He often gets boils down to just being a hotheaded skater but if you pay any attention at all to his character you realize why he is the way he is and how his whole world view gets deconstructed. Yata is attention hungry and he latches on to people because as a kid he felt the need to be his mom‘s protector and then felt replaced when she got remarried and had Minoru and Megumi. He wanted to believe that there were heroes in this world and wanted to become one himself and this leads to him having latched onto Fushimi and then Mikoto.

He never stopped caring about Fushimi he just fixated on Mikoto and then after Mikoto died, Yata had to see him as an actual person rather than just blindly worship him which was a character arc I really enjoyed seeing. I also liked how he tried not to make the same mistakes with Anna that he did with Mikoto because with Mikoto he just kind of assumed what Mikoto wanted without actually asking but with Anna, Yata is like her big brother and she relies on him in a lot of ways. 

TL;DR I am desperately begging for people to stop seeing Yata as one dimensional and to actually look into his character I cannot keep having these conversations over and over again.

[faithandfairies]

Destiel Musings: Earned

You know, I think the more I watch the relationship between Dean and Cas, the less I like the way it developed. At least early on. They did grow a lot over the years and things started to change for the better around season 11, I believe. Which kind of made the journey more worth it I guess if you think of where it started and how long it took to get where they got to later.

Initially though there’s a huge power imbalance that starts out with Dean pretty much at the angels’ mercy. It means that Dean is pretty much expected to do whatever they ask of him. And what they ask of him is not always good. Part of the reason a more equal relationship develops between Dean and Cas is because Dean refuses to play ball. He refuses to just follow orders from the angels blindly. Which I think initially annoys Cas but then peaks his curiosity. 

But then the power imbalance shifts the other way over time. Cas I think can sense a lot in Dean when it comes to who Dean is and his thoughts, feelings and motivations, which is akin to mind reading. He spends a lot of time looking like he’s staring into Dean’s soul and I’m starting to think that is probably close to what he’s doing. Dean intrigues him and as such he looks at Dean like he’s a code he needs to crack.

On top of that, humanity and human life in general confuse Castiel. He spends a lot of time with Dean trying to understand him and boundaries are clearly not a thing Cas understands initially, physical ones like personal space for sure but probably also mental ones. So I think he probably gets a pretty good feel for Dean pretty early on. 

And this is what starts to make him fall in love and subsequently makes the power shift severely. This wouldn’t be a problem if they ended up on equal footing but they don’t. Not really. Because Cas falls in love with Dean and as a result he is more likely to drop everything for Dean and do whatever Dean asks of him and he often doesn’t realize what it will cost him, usually everything, until after he’s already carried out his choice. 

This wouldn’t be as big of a problem if Dean actually looked out for Cas in turn. But he doesn’t. Not really. He looks out for Sam, because Sam is family. Sam is his little brother and so Dean considers himself Sam’s protector and caregiver even as adults. He’s very much like a helicopter parent. Which in itself isn’t great, but means that he usually wouldn’t leave his brother out in the cold. And while Dean also calls Cas family he doesn’t really treat him as such. He often treats Cas as a liability. Which I guess is the way Dean has learned to treat all family that isn’t Sam. But also because Cas’ power means he often has a target on his back that Dean can’t protect him from when he can’t protect himself. And the fact that humanity confuses Cas makes dealing with him often quite a bit harder, which becomes more of a non-issue in later seasons as Cas cultivates a greater understanding of humanity and human life.

But Dean not looking out for Cas as much and often using him as a means to an end leads to scenarios like Dean leaving Cas in a mental institute on the verge of crazy, after fetching him to save Sam. Or throwing him out of the bunker when he’s human and has nowhere to go and no way to take care of himself. It’s explained as him trying to protect Cas but it doesn’t come off that way. It comes off as Dean seeking Cas out when he needs him and then discarding him like yesterday’s trash without a single lifeline when he doesn’t need him anymore or when having him around will range from being inconvenient to being more trouble than it’s worth.  Of course, Dean often can’t return the favor even when he does want to because Cas is a celestial and the problems he needs help with are more often than not of a celestial nature.

Dean does get better about that eventually. Like with the attack dog spell he let’s Cas crash at their place even though he may be a danger to them and then afterwards he makes Cas take the time to heal at the bunker, which Cas spends binge-watching shows.

I wonder if that’s why the bunker kitchen is Cas’ bare minimum happy place. I mean, it’s Dean offering his home on earth to him and I imagine the kitchen specifically might be the place Dean likes to hang out the most in the bunker other than his room. Dean loves food and I imagine a lot of conversation and little family gatherings happen there. The TV is probably a throwback to Cas’ binge-watching days at the bunker as he was healing up but also serves as the distraction that keeps Cas occupied in his own head.

I also think that Cas’ default programming in relation to heaven does show in the way he is with Dean. Except that he was never supposed to be that way with a human. He was taught by heaven to be a soldier that should be willing to sacrifice everything for their cause. Which is exactly what he does for Dean when Dean becomes his cause. That’s how it starts at least, Cas believing in Dean’s cause which then turns into Cas falling in love with Dean himself.

Cas of course, in contributing to Dean’s cause often makes a ton of misguided choices that are intended to help Dean but instead often cause him and both human- and angelkind a world of trouble. It is a testament to Dean loving Cas and considering him family and also knowing and caring that Cas’ heart is usually in the right place that he keeps forgiving Cas for his transgressions. Not a lot of people get that with Dean. 

In Cas’ defense, he’s an angel who has spent his lifetime following orders from God. And when those orders cease and he is left without a clear blueprint to follow, he gets kind of lost. Mix that in with his newfound fondness for Dean and an admiration for Dean’s moral compass and you’ve got an angel who’s found himself a new blueprint. Whatever Dean says and believes. Only, while Dean is a decent role model compared to the angels, he’s still a flawed human making it up as he goes along. And Cas starts doing that too eventually, only worse because he’s new at this whole ‘free will and protecting those he cares about with actions based on his own decisions’ thing.

I think it’s also important to remember that until season 10 Castiel’s body is not his own in that he is sharing a body with an actual person with their own feelings and emotions and whatnot. So I think that might have something to do with the relationship between Cas and Dean changing for the better in season 11, which is when Jimmy is no longer part of the equation. It’s just Cas in there which means no having to take Jimmy into consideration. I think that his emotions can run free without potential inside commentary and resistance from Jimmy and without it being morally wrong for anything to happen between him and Dean because he’s sharing that body with Jimmy.

[jillnoteboom]

Blog Post #2

When I think of what a hero is I think of outstanding character, the ability to juggle many things at once, good time management, and someone who is good with people. I see myself as a hero. In my own life I juggle class, homework, softball, my job, and getting time for myself. I plan my days out down to the minute and I figure out a schedule of when I need to have homework assignments done. I put my best effort into everything that I do as well and I try to do what I can to be kind and helpful towards others. I work in the food industry and that has taught me how to listen to people and appease them quickly with little outburst. To me these are all qualities that a hero must have before they can perform acts of service to help others. T’Challa from Black Panther is a character that contains all of these characteristics. 

T’Challa is seen as the protagonist throughout the movie because he is always trying to resolve conflict. He brings himself into control and deesculates the situations when he realizes he is causing a scene or there is a scene already happening. He is a calming force to the people around him. His presence is calming because he is soft spoken and comes to resolutions quickly and easily. He has the role of being king and protector. He must guide his people with his knowledge and wisdom from the elders and then he must protect his people as well with the power of the Black Panther. T’Challa is a person of many different traits that when combined together make him a great leader. He is able to pull knowledge from his ancestors which allows him to be more wise and make better choices based off of things that have already happened. He has superhuman strength, speed, and endurance which allows him to more easily protect his people when under attack. He is also mastered in martial arts and combat. He is a genius and he is a very advanced strategist and inventor. 

T’Challa watched his father die and he had no time to save him. I believe this causes him to feel guilt for his fathers death. To compensate for not being able to save his father he feels that he needs to save everyone else around him. This is a scene in the movie when Shuri and Nakia are fighting killmonger. T’Challa races towards their battle and protects his sister at whatever the cost is. Throughout the movie you can see the change in his demeanor and how he evolves into his own hero. He originally is very tight to the rules and follows them closely. He tried to hear everyone's views and ideas on what should happen with Wakanda. He wants input, but he doesn’t do anything with the input that he gets. He wants to stay traditional. But he starts to realize that as the world evolves they need to do that as well, they can’t just stay in their old ways of being uninvolved. T’Challa starts to switch his mindset and open his eyes. One place that this change can be seen is when T’Challa finds out that his father killed his own brother. He realizes that there are secrets and lies. These are events that can change the way a person reacts to things. It then can change their views. This event did change T’Challa. It opened his eyes to how his father wasn’t who he idolized him to be and that not everything is how it is seen. He realized that this country could have been under different rule. But since his father made those choices it was T’Challa that was chosen. I think that this was the moment where he realized that he had to make a change and he had to make a difference.  It is also seen in their counsel meetings. The elders in the meetings can be seen arguing that everything must stay the same, but the younger generation is countering their arguments. T’Challa realizes that the elders do have their wisdom and they have seen and experienced many things, but some of their beliefs are dated and it is seeming to become necessary to change their ways. The younger generation has ideas and new views and points that can help them to advance even more than they already have. I believe that T’Challa was trying to honor his fathers ways by sticking to tradition, but realized that tradition must change because over time everything changes. Nothing stays the same forever. 

Seeing T’Challa change throughout the movie helped to see the progression and change for Wakanda as a whole. T’Challa being able to accept change in his own personal life allowed him to see change in his whole country. As his eyes were opened up to how things truly were, it made him realize he needed to be better for his people and that he could help to start changing the world. He decided to open outreach centers where he could help people who were not as fortunate. T’Challa’s own personal journey greatly affects the journey of his country. His own life's ups and downs were reflected in the state of his country. When he was in distress there was something that was causing distress to his country. When he was in a good and happy place his country was as well. His country followed his mood swings. That is how he represented his country. His physical being was the embodiment of his country. T’Challa is exactly what I see as the embodiment of a hero. He may not wear a cape but he knows how to interact with people and how to help them. He can make them feel safe and he has the ability to create devices to use for their protection. T’Challa is the perfect representation of what a hero should be. 

“Black Panther (T'Challa): Characters: Marvel.” Marvel Entertainment, https://www.marvel.com/characters/black-panther-t-challa.  “Black Panther (Character).” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 22 Feb. 2023, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Panther_(character).

[atdawnweryd]

Lucia Appreciation Post

I wasn't in the fandom when S1 came out so hopefully this isn't something that everyone has already rehashed to death, but! I want to give some love, and my own interpretation to the S1 Lucia scene.

First of all, I know we can all agree that it is a thing of pure beauty artistically! But beyond that it's such a great scene because of how it shows a very critical moment in Simon and Wille's relationship:

We know that Simon is a caring person. This is one of his core characterizations that comes into play over and over again throughout the series (eg taking on the role of protector to Sara; playing peacemaker for his mother and Sara when they are not understanding each other well, and then working hard to make sure Sara keeps in touch with their mother while she's living at Hillerska; giving Wille 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances after he gets skittish and pulls away in S1, then not allowing Wille to believe he and Marcus are dating because it will make Wille sad. The list goes on!). Seeing someone he cares about hurting or needing help is something that Simon cannot turn his back on, he truly believes in giving people chances to grow.

So, as the scene starts there is a big conflict happening within Simon, and you can see it clearly in the amazing acting by Omar. When they walk into the classroom, he has already calmed down significantly from the anger he was previously feeling- now that he knows that he's not going to get expelled - but he's still upset. He's not shouting or defensive anymore like he was in the music room, he's listening, but still skeptical of Wille's intentions. He maintains a physical separation between them that shows clearly that all is not forgiven yet.

Wille has really hurt him here by allowing Simon to be put into a position where he might be expelled. Where the rich kids would get away with it while the outsider feels all the consequences. More importantly, Wille showed Simon that he didn't understand or anticipate how upsetting that would be for him during their argument in the music room.

But now Wille responds with honesty and sincerity. He doesn't try to beg, plead or excuse his actions, or worse - try and convince Simon that it wasn't a big deal, minimizing his feelings.

And you can see how much that resonates with Simon here. You can see his defensiveness melt away, leaving him feeling a little lost on how to proceed. Does he just forgive Wille right way? Is it enough? Is this relationship even worth it if this is the kind of B.S. he's going to be exposed to around Wille?

But Wille continues. He opens up and makes himself vulnerable to Simon, revealing how important Simon and their relationship are to him.

He tears up, showing just how scared he is of losing Simon. And Simon, who is a caregiver at heart, can't help but respond to that.

(Me too fr, let's have a brief moment of admiration for Edvin's acting and unreal kicked puppy eyes!)

This following moment right here is so important!! The emotional climax of the scene in my opinion.

You can see it in Simon's eyes, the exact moment when he gives in - when he realizes that his feelings for Wille and his need to comfort Wille overpower his own feelings of hurt and frustration.

But it's not an easy decision for him - he looks almost pained, like he has fought a battle with himself and lost. Like maybe he had no choice at all, this was only going to end one way....

He pulls Wille into an embrace, and it's forgiveness, emotional release, and relief that this is not the end of them. Relief mixed with a very strong feeling on both their parts that their relationship has taken on a new dimension.

Before, they had admitted to liking each other, but their relationship was limited to lighthearted (and sexy) hookups, teasing, and generally enjoying each other's company. The honeymoon phase.

But this is the first time their relationship has been affected by external influences outside their control. It's been put to the test, and although they choose to overcome it together, it leaves them shaken.

Wille gets his first taste of reality - that Simon comes from a different world and does not see things from the same perspective, nor will he put their relationship above his family or his morals (ok yeaaa it's going to take a few more lessons for this one to fully sink in, but I said first taste!). Simon is not a sure thing.

And Simon realizes that being with Wille is not all fun and games, but it's something he wants anyways.

This conflict is unpleasant and jarring for them, but ultimately leads to a better understanding of one another, and new depth in their relationship.

They end this scene with a kiss that is pure comfort. Wille, who craves touch from Simon when he needs reassurance of closeness, goes in for one quick kiss before he pulls back slightly, and they just breathe each other in, Simon lightly stroking Wille's hair and cheek. We very much get the sense that there is an intensity between them that wasn't there before.

This scene was necessary to have before their video was leaked and everything went to hell. I don't know that Simon would have been so certain about sticking it out with Wille, or that Wille would have tried defying his mother for Simon if they hadn't gotten this taste of being apart first, cementing their desire for this relationship.

Because Simon is a very good, caring person, yes. But - he's not a bleeding heart who will stick their neck out for just anyone (for example, he doesn't exactly seem bothered that Alexander's going to be thrown under the bus instead of himself). He's the kind of person who generally prefers to mind their own business unless he or a loved one is involved.

I think that this scene is the first time Simon consciously realizes that he's in a bit over his head with Wille, that the depth of his feelings for him far surpasses what he had believed. Because Wille is now one of those people whose needs Simon will put before his own. He has become a loved one.