#and probably wouldn't fit any of the others
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the one where YN gets a job as a bartender in a motorbike club's bar, and Harry runs the club.
author's note: suprise!! i'm back again!! i promised i wouldn't keep you waiting and i'm not. this is the first part in my biker!harry mini-series which i started a while ago and only just got around to finishing! let me know what you think and what you'd like to see in the next instalments!
word count: 11.6k of sexy biker!harry (that's it, that's all).
WARNINGS: strong language, smut, bike riding, a bar fight and talks of a motor accident.
let me know what you think of clover here!! mwah <3
1979
“Look, sweets, I’d hire you on the spot if I thought it would be a good idea,” Mick spoke from across the bar, towel over one shoulder and another in his hand drying a glass, “But it just isn’t, I’m sorry.”
YN sighed, dropping her hands down on the bar. This was the fourth one she’d tried, and so far, she hadn’t had any luck. She wasn’t asking for much – just a job to help pay for her student loans. She had graduated a year ago and bounced from job to job, and yet none of them seemed to fit. It wasn’t necessarily her dream to work in a bar, but she hadn’t a single clue about what her dream was. She had a first-class honours history degree (which she adored getting) and yet not a single idea of what to do with it.
She couldn’t think of the future at this moment, she needed to think about the now and if she wanted to continue to live in her small apartment and eat — she needed a job.
Clovers had been her last hope. It was the last bar in town that YN was yet to try, and despite its less-than-positive reputation – it was always busy, and that meant money coming in. As she turned to look around the bar, which was already quite crowded for it being early on a Friday night, she couldn’t help but imagine the cash that was funnelling through the establishment, and how she wished she could get at least some of it.
“Can I get you a drink, sweets?” Mick spoke again, offering her a soft smile, “It’ll hopefully soften the blow a little bit.”
YN smiled at the man and nodded, “Thank you. Whisky, please.”
Mick got straight to work, placing the glass in front of her, dropping an ice cube into the glass and pouring her a more than generous shot. Just as she fumbled with her purse to pull out some bills to pass to Mick, he shook his head and held his hand out to stop it. She smiled in thanks and watched as he turned and walked away, going to serve the next customer who was standing a few feet away from her.
YN picked up her drink, and just as she was about to take a drink the door beside her opened. Her lips parted, her eyes watching as a group of what seemed to be fifteen or so men, all clad in heavy leather or dark denim walked into the bar.
Of course, YN knew about them. Anyone who lived here knew who they were, but it was the first time that she had seen them this up close. The most she had ever experienced with them was the low rumbling of their engines from a distance, or possibly them riding past her but that was only ever one or two. It was their jackets that often set them apart from the rest of the riders in the town, the very specific Clover’s Riders jacket that every member adorned and what seemed like all times.
The men were loud as they stepped in, most of them heading towards the bar whilst others went to some of the other members who were already seated in the bar. YN’s eyes never left the door until the last one had made his entrance, and she just couldn’t seem to draw them away.
He was younger than many of his counterparts, probably resting at an age near YN’s or possibly a few years or so older. He was clad in the same heavy denim that many of the others wore, but they seemed to sit on his body much easier. The curls of his hair were tousled in every direction it seemed, but YN found herself wondering as to what it would feel like to run her fingers through it.
With a shake of her head, she turned back to her glass and lifted it to her lips. She took a large gulp of the liquid, allowing that to slip down her throat before she finished the rest of it. Mick was long gone from being anywhere near her, working at what seemed like double speed to keep up with the orders that the gang of men were giving him, and she felt as though that was probably her cue to leave. She would have to brainstorm other options for work, seeing as though this just hadn’t called through.
Sighing, YN pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder and pushed up from the stool she was resting on. Just as she turned around to make a beeline for the door through the bodies that were crowding the room, she was stopped by a body in front of hers.
“Woah, woah, little darling where do you think you’re going?” It was one of the riders, standing in front of her with a grin on his features.
“Home,” she said with a shrug.
“So soon,” The man looked over his shoulder to some of his friends who were standing close by, “Me and my buddies here didn’t even get to say hello.”
“Right, okay, hello,” YN nodded to the man in front of her and those behind him, “Really have to get going.”
The man extended his arms so that she couldn’t carry move from her space in front of him, “Let us buy you a drink little darling, I promise you’ll enjoy it.”
“I’ve already had one, thank you, and it was very enjoyable,” YN offered them another small smile, “Now please move out of my way so that I can go home.”
“Hey, none of that,” The man shook his head, “Stay with us, I promise we’ll make it worth it.”
YN hummed, tilting her head from side to side lightly, “I’ll pass but I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding someone else to make the night worth it.”
And with that, YN pushed past the man and beelined for the door. She half expected him to grab her, but from the hoots and hollers of his friends, he was too embarrassed to do anything else.
The bar that YN had worked out whilst she was completing her degree had taught her a thing or two about how to deal with rowdy men, and whilst the firm but clear approach worked in most cases, YN wasn’t afraid to resort to other means if necessary. It was all a respect thing, and more often than not if you deal back to them what they deal to you – the situation usually sorts itself.
YN had just rested her palm against the wood of the door when she heard someone call her name. She saw Mick standing there, leaning over the bar to catch her attention.
“Saw you deal with those guys,” He nodded his head over to the men whose attention had been taken by another woman in the bar, who seemed to accept their advances more than YN did, “When can you start?”
YN’s face broke out into a smile and took a delighted step towards Mick, “Whenever.”
“Right now?” He raised his eyebrows at her, motioning to the men who were calling his name for more drinks, “Have a feeling we’re going to be swamped tonight.”
YN nodded and immediately dropped her purse down behind the bar and rolled the sleeves of her cardigan up.
She turned to the men who were now staring at her with their mouths slightly agape, “What can I get you?”
It was a Thursday night and YN had been working at Clover’s for around a week at this point when Mick decided that she could handle a night on her own. After being thrown into what very much was the deep end on her first shift, there had been time the next day for Mick to show her the ropes properly and anything she would specifically need to know.
Mick said that he normally wouldn’t leave such a new person on their own so quickly, but he had an important family issue that he couldn’t get out of and that she had shown enough trust that he wasn’t worried. It was a Thursday, so it wasn’t going to be too busy but even so, those who were going to be there would be Riders, and they would protect their bar from anything.
It was nearing nine, and YN would probably say that they were at a quarter of their capacity, the majority of them being riders who had been there for the last few hours or so. YN was lucky she supposed. They never ordered anything more complicated than a beer, at most a whisky or a bourbon and this was their bar so there were never any arguments about paying for the drinks.
There was a lull in the orders, so YN decided to take it upon herself to dry some of the glasses she had washed in the previous lull. This job was not for the weak she would say that, but YN would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it. She loved people watching and mixed with the hum of the jukebox it was the perfect combination for her.
The door to the bar opened again about twenty minutes, and in walked that same man that caught her attention a week or so ago, on that first day she was here. He looked the same, apart from he was clad in a mixture of denim and leather this time instead of just denim, and a large bruise was sprouting from under his left eye. To YN, it was obvious that the cause was a punch, for there was nothing else that could cause a bruise such as that one. He walked into the room, ignored the hoots and hollers from some of the other men and took a seat right in the middle of the bar.
YN threw the towel she was holding over her shoulder and walked towards him, resting her hands on the edge of the bar, “What can I get ya?”
The man didn’t stray his eyes away from where they were planted firmly on the wood of the bar, “Beer, and a whisky.”
YN nodded, reaching over to pop the lid of the beer, “Do you want ice in the whisky?”
The man just hummed, so YN got straight to work making his drink for him. It was different to that of the other men in the bar — watching him. Whilst they were loud and rowdy and always had something to say to someone – he was silent. He just sat, with the company of his only himself and drank his drink.
Snapping YN out of her gaze (which had been on the man for a few beats too long) was a call of her name from just down the bar. She walked over to where it came from, a man called Taylor who YN had become quite acquainted with in the last few days or so.
Most of the men (not all, obviously) that she had become acquainted with during the last few weeks were lovely. They loved to have a quick natter with her whilst she made their drinks, some of them flirted with her but she didn’t care (it was part of the job) and nobody bothered her. If one or two of the men when they were drunk got a little handsy or started to say things which would be deemed inappropriate, the other lads would circle her and make sure she was okay. She felt safe, which she was quite surprised was the case.
“A piece of advice,” Taylor spoke over the bar as YN started opening the bottles of beer for him and his friends, “Harry over there always orders the same thing, and he’ll drink the whiskey last before he leaves.”
“Thank you,” YN nods with a small smile across her lips, unable to stop her eyes beating over to him for a second – Harry.
“He’s a quiet one,” Taylor continues speaking, grabbing a few bills out of his pocket to pay for the drinks, “But harmless, I promise. To be fair, you’d think the man who founded the club would have more to say.”
YN’s eyes widen, she had no idea that Harry was the one who founded the club. She hadn’t suspected it at all.
“He founded it?” She asked with a slight raise of her eyebrow. She wasn’t trying to pry, but there were things that she wanted to know, and Taylor already had that buzz that made her know that he would be willing to answer any questions she had.
“Yeah, it was him and a few others,” Taylor shrugged, attempting to pick up the three bottles of beer all in one go, “A few years ago now, and it only grew from there.”
YN nodded once more and watched as he walked back to his table. She put the bills that he had given her for the drinks into the register and put the tip she had been given into her apron.
There was something about that man that had caught her attention from that first day, and yet she couldn’t put her finger on it. Now, it made sense. The aura that he had when he walked into the room, as well as the way he sat and held himself – he had a strong presence in the group without even trying.
YN had more questions, but she knew it probably wasn’t the best to pry right now. Instead, she just got on with everything that she had to do. She served drinks and cleaned up after herself right up until close. YN hadn’t realised when Harry had left, but he had slipped out without a single person realising.
She hummed as she swept the floors, tried her hardest to count the cash right the first time and put it in the safe before continuing with her other closing jobs. The chairs were off the floor, as much of the stickiness in the room that YN could remove was gone and the doors were locked and checked.
Once she had stepped outside, and locked the door to the bar behind her, the late hour catching up with her very quickly – she realised at that point she wasn’t alone.
Looking over her shoulder, she saw that he was standing there, resting against his motorcycle with a cigarette dangling from between his lips. YN was confused but continued to lock the door and make sure that nobody could get inside. Then she turned, and that was when she saw Harry looking directly at her.
“Can I help you?” She muttered, fidgeting with the keys she was holding in her hand.
He inhaled the smoke from his cigarette, holding it for a second or so before he exhaled, “Heard you were asking questions.”
YN’s heart drops slightly, heat pulsating around her body, “Am I not allowed to ask questions?”
He ran his teeth over his bottom lip, placing the cigarette back in his mouth, “Can’t stop you from doing that, but any questions you have about me, you can ask me yourself.”
YN just pursed her lips and nodded, “Okay then… do you always stalk women when they’re leaving work?”
Harry didn’t seem shocked by her words, or react in any way to them at all, which was surprising to her. But, then again, she hadn’t seen much of a reaction out of this man this entire time she had known of him.
“Only the ones that have worked in my bar for a week.”
“Your bar?” YN widened her eyes, “Thought Mick owned it?”
Harry shook his head, “I do. Mick’s my employee, and so are you.”
“Do you not trust me or something? Think I’m walking away with pocketfuls of cash?”
“I would already know if you’d done that, and you wouldn’t be working here anymore,” YN just nodded, “But this side of a town can be sketchy at night, and you never know who could be lurking.”
YN just scoffed, turning to walk away from the man, “Thank you, but I can look after myself.”
“Suit yourself,” Harry shrugged, climbing onto his bike, and kicking the stand-up. YN could hear the engine turning on, the loud rumble filling the empty street.
YN continued walking, expecting him to speed past her but he didn’t. The low rumble continued down the street, even when she turned – the sound turned too. It was frustrating and annoying. All YN wanted to do was to get home, have something to eat and get in bed. Instead, she was having to deal with what was becoming an annoying rider, who couldn’t seem to leave her alone.
This continued for around ten minutes, and with each second that passed YN was getting more and more annoyed. Just as she turned onto the edge of her street, the apartment she shared with her roommate Ashley coming into view in the distance, she decided that enough was enough.
She stopped and turned around on the pavement, Harry pulling in on his bike to stop just in front of her. YN sighed and placed her hand on her hips.
“Do we have a problem?”
Harry rested his hands on his bike still, but was facing her, “No problem.”
“Then why are you following me home?” A small chuckle escaped her lips, “You know those strange people you were talking about earlier; you do know you’re acting like one of them?”
“You’re one of us now,” He shrugs, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world – it certainly wasn’t for YN at all.
“That means you follow me home?” The confusion grows with every moment in YN, and yet Harry doesn’t seem the slightest bit worried.
“You didn’t want a ride,” He pulls his carton of cigarettes out of his pocket and lights one up, “Had to make sure you got home safe.”
“Right,” YN just nods, “Well, I think I can manage on my own from here. And, if I’m all of a sudden one of you should I expect my jacket in the post? Or do you do collection?”
With a final scoff, she turned and walked away from the man. This time, when the engine started, YN didn’t turn to look at Harry and instead carried on to her front door. It was only then that she turned to peer over her shoulder, just in time to see Harry speed past her and into the night.
She had an incline that this job was going to be interesting, but she had no idea just how much.
It wasn’t necessarily a normal working pattern that YN had found herself in.
Sleeping for most of the day and being awake all night wasn’t necessarily the big girl working pattern that she had aspired to when she was younger, but for the time being she was enjoying it. It did mean that when Ashley returned from her nine-to-five working as a receptionist (YN couldn’t think of anything worse to be honest), YN was just getting ready to start her day.
YN was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, a half-eaten sandwich clutched tightly in her hand. She wasn’t too hungry, but she knew that if she didn’t eat something before, she left for work she would regret it later on. The second that Ashley stepped through the door and threw her bag down on the floor, she threw YN a quizzical look.
“What?” YN asked, wiping the mayo that rested on the curve of her lip off with her thumb.
“Do you happen to know anything about the smoking-hot rider staring at the apartment from across the street?”
YN’s entire face dropped, “What?”
Ashley walked over and dropped down on the other side of the sofa, reaching out to steal one of YN’s chips from her plate. Ashley seemed slightly unfazed by the newfound stalker YN had acquired, and that stressed the girl out significantly.
“What do you mean?” YN pushed herself up, making her way over to the window where there he was. Resting against his bike, cigarette resting from his lips sat Harry, staring at the front door to the building with an unreadable expression on his face,
“He’s been there since this morning,” Ashley adds to the conversation causally, running a hand through her hair which she had just pulled out of its undo, “At first, I thought he was waiting for Sandy, you know, from 2.B but then I saw the jacket and realised he must be here for you.”
“He’s not here for me,” YN shook her head, slapping the curtains shut and walking back over to her friend, “He’s stalking me, I can’t believe you’re not more stressed about this.”
Ashley just shrugged, “Worse people to be stalked by, I suppose. He’s one of Clover’s, he’ll be harmless.”
“No, Ashley, he’s not just one of Clover’s,” YN sighed, running a hand over her face before scooting around the apartment to grab her belongings, “He is Clover.”
It was Ashley’s face that dropped this time, “What do you mean?”
“That’s Harry,” YN pulled each one of her pumps on her feet, “He founded the gang!”
“You’re kidding,” Ashley all but screams, “Jesus YN, I knew I was concerned about this job, but I think you’ve done pretty alright for yourself.”
YN just shook her head. She grabbed her jacket, and her bag and made her way over to the door.
“If I go missing, you know who’s responsible,” With that, YN turned away from her friend and rushed out of the door.
She took the stairs down from her apartment at double speed, almost tripping over her feet multiple times. She pulled her jacket on just as she got to the front door. Just before she was going to push it open, just stopped and hesitated for a second. One deep breath in and out was all it took to compose herself, and then she pushed the door open.
Harry spotted her immediately, throwing the cigarette he had in his hand a few metres away from his bike, where a collection was beginning to grow. YN made sure to check the left and the right of her before crossing the road, not quite fancying becoming roadkill this early in the day.
“You’re lucky my neighbours didn’t call the cops on you,” Is the first thing that slips from YN’s lips, before she realises how stupid that sounds.
For the first time since she met him, a small smile crosses Harry’s lips. She had amused him, and oh did she want to do it again.
“You know you can’t stay out here all day,” She follows with, “I’m going to the bar now anyway.”
“I got something for you,” Harry pushed himself up off the bike and that’s when she saw it.
A denim jacket, smaller than the others that she had seen but still carrying the ever-so-known Clover’s Riders logo on the back. That four-leaf clover was known all over town, and towns for miles in every direction and now it seemed YN had one of her own. It would open paths for her but also close them as well. She knew that the second she accepted that jacket, things would change all over again.
“I don’t even ride, Harry,” She sighed, shaking her head slightly, “I’ve never been on a bike in my life.”
He just shrugged once more, “There’s always time to change that.”
YN toyed up her options, and it took a lot less time than she had thought it would to swipe the jacket from his hands. She shrugged off the one she was wearing and slipped her arms inside the material. It was the perfect fit, exactly what she would have chosen for herself. Harry beamed another smile at her and swung his leg over his bike once more.
“C’mon,” He tilted his head at her, “I have something I want to show you.”
“I’ll be late for work,” YN shook her head, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from throwing her leg over the side of the bike and using Harry’s shoulder to help steady herself as she got on.
“You’ll be fine,” Harry spoke, and that’s when YN realised that whilst yes, she was probably going to be late for work, she was also on the back of the owner’s bike – so the trouble couldn’t be too grave, “Hold on tight.”
YN did as the man said, wrapping her arms around Harry’s waist. The second that the engine started, and Harry kicked the stand-up they went flying down the road, and she realised in that exact moment why he said tight. YN’s body lurched forward into Harry’s, her cheek resting against the leather of his jacket, and her hands tightening around him.
Once the initial fear had worn off, and YN finally peered over the man’s shoulder – she would be lying if she said that it didn’t feel in a word freeing. The wind through her hair, the chill of the speed at which she was going laced with the feeling of Harry pressed so closely against her. Sure, she had been scared but now she knew that there wasn’t anything to be scared of. It wasn’t a scary thing, instead, it was something to be enjoyed.
YN’s lips curled upwards, a slight giggle leaving them as she noticed they went speeding through a red light. Many, and by many YN meant most, of the riders had a back pocket full of speeding tickets, and lights that they’ve jumped and yet none of them seemed to care. It was as though all of the law-abiding parts of their brains didn’t function when they were on bikes. On second thought, even when they weren’t on the bikes the law-abiding parts of their brain didn’t function.
Harry pulled over just as they joined the road which took them out of the city. They had completely passed Clover’s, and YN hadn’t the faintest clue of how late she was for work at this point, but it didn’t matter. It would take a lot for this smile to leave her face today. Once the bike came to a stop, YN used Harry’s shoulder to push up off of it.
Harry sits on the bike, but his eyes never leave the girl. The way she almost looked like a baby deer as she got her grounding once she was off the bike, the way her hair stuck out in every and all directions, and most importantly the beaming smile that never left her face. For the first time in a long time, there were no thoughts in YN’s head. There were no worries about growing up and getting a proper job, or stress about money – it was completely and utterly freeing. She supposed that was why there were so many of the riders and she supposed they were all chasing that feeling.
“You’ve got to teach me how to ride,” She sighed, the blissful smile never leaving her lips.
Harry just nodded, “Whenever you want.”
“Really?” Her face widened in excitement.
Harry shrugged, “You’ve gotta know how to ride if you’re going to be a rider.”
YN just nodded, and almost jumped back onto the bike. Harry didn’t say anything when she wrapped her arms back around his waist, not a single gap between their bodies but it just felt so comfortable. Harry kicked the stand down once more and sprang straight into action, turning slowly around on the road before speeding up the second they were on the straight back to the town.
All YN knew was that she was going to savour the feeling of the wind in her hair.
It was another Saturday night, and it was packed in the bar.
YN was so thankful that she could stay behind the safety of the actual bar and not venture out into the rest of the room. The men had just come back from a ride, and they were all excited and loud and wanting nothing but drink upon drink upon drink. She had been there from earlier on in the day today, and when Mick showed up later in the evening, she hadn’t managed to utter a single word but hello to him since.
All she could think of was the fact that once the rush had died down, it would be her time to go home and rest. In what felt like a very long few months of working every day (at first YN hadn’t minded, but she was slowly getting more and more burnt out) it was finally time for her to have a day off. Mick had graciously said to her the other day that he could handle Sunday on his own, and those words felt like gold slipping from his lips. She didn’t have a single clue of what she was going to do with her day, all she knew was that it was going to be relaxing.
She just had to get through this night first.
At first, the night seemed fine. Everyone was in good spirits and there was nothing more than a few drunken disagreements that sorted themselves out. YN had taken that as the opportunity to make her way over to where Harry was sitting and replenish his beer while he was there. It was then that the door was thrown open, and the entire atmosphere in the room changed.
What had at first been a lovely evening had changed within the second, and it was all because of a man that she hadn’t recognised. He didn’t have a rider’s jacket on his back, and that should have been YN’s first clue that this man was going to be in trouble. This was a riders’ bar, and those jackets were almost like a rite of passage. Without one, people stuck out like a sore thumb.
It became even more obvious to YN when the man beelined straight over to where Harry was sitting. He didn’t sit and instead leant over Harry, so his focus was on him. YN stayed close, but she didn’t want to make it too obvious that she was listening. She wasn’t the only one either – she could see other riders peering over at them from where they were sitting.
“You said if I did it, I’d get my jacket,” Those were the first words that came out of the man’s mouth – not even a greeting of hello, “I did it. Where’s the fucking jacket?”
Harry didn’t say anything for a second or so. Instead, he lifted his recently replenished beer to his lips and took a swag. He was doing as he always did – taking his sweet darn time.
“I said I’d think about it,” Harry mumbles, shrugging slightly as he did, “I’ve thought about it… and no.”
The man smacks his hand down onto the bar top, the sound echoing throughout the room. It silenced everyone, and all eyes turned to the two men. YN’s eyes looked towards Mick with a panicked expression on them but he shook his head, hoping that would calm the girls down.
“That wasn’t the fucking deal,” The man spits, coming right up into Harry’s face but it didn’t seem to deter the man at all, “The deal was to drop the shipment, I get the fucking jacket.”
Harry finally turned to look at the man, his stern expression never wavering, “Do you think I want someone like you, someone that doesn’t listen wearing one of my jackets?”
The man didn’t like that response, and it seemed as though as quickly as YN could blink her eyes the man was grasping the lapels of Harry’s jacket and pulling him up from the stool. He was then pushed straight into the bar, a slight grunt leaving his lips as he did. There was the initial sound of beer stools scratching on the floor, and other Riders were reading to split the two men up but all it took was Harry lifting one of his hands and they all stopped in their places.
“I don’t want someone who’s that willing to fight one of his men wearing a jacket.”
That was all it took for the other man to make the first punch. His arm pulled backwards, and his fist hit Harry straight across the jaw. The skin immediately went red, but Harry didn’t look like a man who had just been hit straight across the jaw. The bar stayed silent, obviously waiting for whatever Harry’s retaliation was going to be.
What YN, and certainly a lot of others in the bar hadn’t expected was Harry to reach behind him, to where his empty beer bottle was sat and hit the man over the head with it. The man fell to the ground, his grip on Harry letting go instantly. Harry lifted his hand, wincing when he noticed that a shard of glass from the broken bottle had lodged itself in his skin.
He just sighed, rubbing his forehead with his uninjured hand, “Get him out of here.”
Three of the men who were watching closely immediately listened to him, walking over, and picking the man up. They carried him out of the bar and were back to their drinks in what seemed like minutes. It was as though nobody truly seemed to care as to what had just happened and were more excited to get back to their drinks truly as though nothing had happened.
YN watched as Harry threw back the glass of whisky that had sat on the bar waiting for him (courtesy of Mick). That seemed like something that YN would have to take note of. With that, he dropped a few bills on the counter and stormed out of the bar. YN watched this and immediately started to pull her apron off her body.
“Mick,” The older man hummed from the other side of the bar, “I’m going outside for a break. I’ll only be a minute.”
The older man just threw YN a look, obviously having spotted who had left the bar just before she wanted to, “Be careful.”
YN just laughed, throwing the latch open, “I’m always careful.”
The second she stepped outside; she was shocked to see that Harry’s bike was still there, but he wasn’t sitting on it. There was a slight chill in the night air, and YN looked from left to right to try and spot him, but he was still nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t until YN made her way towards the alley that followed the side of the bar that she finally realised where he had gone.
It was dark, but not dark enough to miss the figure leaning against the wall with a cigarette hanging from his lips. YN wrapped her arms around herself, wanting to conceal at least some of the warmth from inside. As her shoes crunched on the path, Harry’s eyes turned to look at her. He was ready for it to be someone else, and it was almost as though when he noticed that it was her – his features seemed to relax.
“How’s your hand?” She asked, coming to a stop right in front of him.
He raised his palm towards her, “It’s been better.”
YN winced to herself slightly as she looked at his hand, seeing the shard of glass still sticking out of the skin. Whilst she didn’t have a first aid kit on her body at this exact moment, it was good that she knew where one was.
“Come with me,” She nodded, walking further down the alley to the bar’s back entrance.
YN didn’t even turn to make sure that he was following her, she just knew that he would be. She held the door open for him, and the one that opened to the office of the bar (where Mick spent most of his time during the day, sorting the books out) and pointed at the chair by the desk.
Whilst Harry sat down without a word to her, YN reached up to the shelf above them and brought the first aid kit down. Harry’s eyes watched her as she pulled tweezer, gauze, and some antiseptic to clean and dress his wound. It was all very silent, and still but caring.
“Can I?” She asked, checking sure it was okay to touch his hand.
Harry nodded, placing his hand in hers. To YN, she wasn’t sure if she was truly touch-starved that feeling of his hand in hers felt truly intimate. She got to work straight away, pulling the glass out with the tweezers ever so carefully before wiping the surface of the cut. Even though YN knew that it would have stung, Harry’s face didn’t show anything, only one raised an eyebrow slightly.
“I don’t think you’ll need stitches,” She mumbles, face still full of concentration on making sure the wound is fully clean before she wraps it.
Harry just nodded, “You see wounds like these before?”
YN nodded, “I’ve worked in bars before – of course, I’ve seen wounds like these before.”
Harry just nods, allowing YN to move his hand at her ease to ensure that it is wrapped tightly and securely. He opened his mouth once she had finished, as though he was going to ask her something, but he closed it straight away. She wanted nothing more than to tell him that he could ask her anything that he wanted to, but she didn’t want to scare him away.
“You’re all set,” She offered him a small smile.
“Thank you,” The words sort of felt foreign, but very sincere coming from his lips, “I… you didn’t have to.”
YN just shrugged, “Wasn’t going to let you bleed out – would’ve been bad for business.”
Harry offered her a small smile at her attempt at a joke, “I’m sorry about what happened in there as well… usually we try to keep those sorts of things out of the bar.”
“Harry,” His name came out of her lips softly, hoping that would be the thing to tell him that it was okay. That she wasn’t angry at him, “I know… it doesn’t bother me – I promise.”
He just nods, “I knew that, you know.”
YN furrows her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”
“That first day,” He reached out to her, and did the last thing that she would ever expect – grabbed her hand, “The way you dealt with some of the lads… I knew you were different.”
“It was you…” The words slipped out of YN’s mouth before she could truly register them, “You saw me that day.”
It all made sense. YN had noticed Harry that very first day that she’d appeared at Clover, and whilst originally Mick had said no, he had changed his mind and said yes. To YN, it had looked and seemed that Mick was the one who had made that decision, and yet it made sense that it was Harry to be the one who changed Mick’s mind. Harry, if he had been sitting at his barstool would have been a metre or so away from that conversation – and he would have heard every word that had been said.
“I did,” Harry nods, claiming every thought that YN had to be true, “I saw you, the way you spoke to them, the way you stood your ground and god, YN, I was hooked.”
That was the first time that YN had heard Harry speak her name, and she was addicted. She wanted to hear it over, and over and over again. He noticed the slight shift in her and used his legs to roll the chair he was sitting on closer to where she was resting against the desk. Then he slipped his uninjured arm around her body and pulled her down to him. She straddled his knees, relishing the feeling of his body beneath hers.
“I…” Her words came out as a whisper, “I felt the same.”
Relief. That was the look on his face – it was a true relief.
“You did?”
“God, Harry,” YN giggles, shaking her head, “I tried not to, but I would be lying if I said that most of my thoughts haven’t been filled with you. Wanting to know more.”
“You can know anything,” His thumb slipped underneath the thin material of her shirt, a heat spreading across her entire body from that one single touch, “Ask me anything, everything – I’ll answer. Whatever you want to know?”
YN pondered that for a second. She could have asked him anything, and yet there was one thought which was present in her mind more than any of the others. An hour ago, this question would have been risky – she just wouldn’t have asked it. Yet, in the safety of this room – away from peering eyes, or anyone who could make assumptions as to what it meant – she wanted nothing more than to ask it.
“Do you want to kiss me?”
Harry exhaled a breath, lifting his hand to rest against her cheek, “More than anything.”
YN nodded.
“Harry…” He hummed at the call of her name, “Kiss me.”
His thumb danced from her cheek, down to her lip. He ran it across the skin of her bottom lip, pushing down slightly so that her lips parted for him. The only sound in the room was YN’s heavy breathing, a response to the teasing that was on display right in front of her.
Then his face inched forward, and his lips were on hers. It didn’t take long for his tongue to slip past her parted lips, dancing with her own. This closeness to someone, the vulnerability – YN had missed it. She pushed her body forward towards Harry’s, slipping her hands in the curls at the nape of his neck. His hands, never mind the bandaged one which would have still caused him pain, rested upon her denim-clad arse. They found their home resting there, and YN wasn’t about to move them.
Harry pulled away from her lips, obviously needing oxygen as much as she did. But he wasted no time in dropping his attack down her neck, his teeth nipping the skin there. YN’s hands still rested in the curls at the nape of his neck, and heavy breaths parted from her lips.
“Harry,” She gasped as he started to suck at the sweet spot where her neck met her collarbone, “I need to get back to work.”
“No, you don’t,” He mumbled, and YN just rolled her eyes.
“I’ve deserted Mick,” She continues, “He might need help.”
“Mick’ll be fine,” He pulled his head up, resting on her chest as he peered up at her, “And anyway, I’m your boss.”
YN shook her head, “I need to go.”
Harry groaned but finally nodded, “Ride home with me?”
“Of course,” YN pecked Harry’s lips one last time pushed herself up from him and walked out of the room.
Harry’s eyes never left her the entire time.
“Harry, no, I’m going to tip over.”
When Harry had dropped YN at home last night, he had muttered the words that he would see her tomorrow. Before she could clarify that she wasn’t working, he had sped off on his motorcycle into the dark of the night. YN should have known, though, that Harry knew she wasn’t working. It became even more clear when Ashley shouted at her from the kitchen at around midday today, telling her that her Rider was waiting for her.
Instead of the annoyance that YN felt the first time, there was a skip in her step this time. She had taken some time that morning to make herself look that little bit more presentable and waited for him. After their kiss the previous night in the office, and the slight peck that he had given her when she had climbed off his bike yesterday.
When she had bounced over to him earlier, a smile beaming on his face she didn’t have a single care as to what she would be doing that day – all she knew was that she was going to enjoy it. Even when she climbed on the back of his bike and asked where they were going – the smile never left her face. He refused to tell her, though, saying that it was a surprise.
“Harry, I don’t want to,” YN shook her head, hands grasping tightly onto the handles of the bike, “I’m going to fall off, or I’m going to crash your bike.”
What Harry had planned for the girl was to teach her how to ride. Whilst at the start YN had wanted nothing more than to learn how to ride, now that she was sitting on Harry’s bike without him there – she was terrified. Harry was standing close to her, cigarette dangling from his lips and an amused expression on his face.
“You’re not going to fall,” Harry shakes his head, “I’m right here… and I promise I won’t let you crash.”
“You can say that Harry, but you can’t promise,” YN was sitting on the bike, with her feet resting on the ground and absolutely no attempt at all to move.
He threw his cigarette on the floor, moving over so that he could wrap his arms around her waist, his hands coming to rest upon hers on the handle. He turned the engine on, and even though it was YN’s hands on the handle, Harry was controlling it. They went very slow – they had to so that Harry could walk at the side of them.
“I’m going to let go,” Harry spoke after a minute or so, but YN shook her head.
“I’m not ready,” YN pushed her body into his slightly, “I’m going to crash.”
“There’s nothing for you to crash into,” Harry peels one of his hands off of hers, “I trust you… you’ll be fine.”
It wasn’t as though he was lying. Harry had driven them out to a deserted road just out of town. Close enough away that they’d be home at a normal time, but far enough away that there wasn’t any traffic which would interrupt them. There wasn’t anything but stone and grass around them, and whilst if YN came to a haphazard stop, it wouldn’t be the most comfortable thing ever – there wasn’t a lot of damage that she could do to Harry’s bike.
Harry let go of her other hand, and she was doing it. Granted, she didn’t go over 2mph, but she was still riding the bike on her own. She wasn’t comfortable enough to attempt to turn yet, so she just came to a slow stop a few metres further down from where Harry was. She kicked the stand down and climbed off the bike – turning towards Harry with a smile on her face.
“I did it!” She bounced over to Harry and wrapped her arms around his neck, his coming to rest around her waist.
“Never doubted you,” He leaned down to place a kiss on her lips, pulling her body flush against his. Before anything more could happen, the sound of crunching on the road, as well as the sound of a siren interrupted them.
YN’s heart started to beat rapidly at the sight of a police car inching towards them. Whilst YN had dealt with police before working in her previous bars, she hadn’t ever been out in the open with her and only one other person when talking to them. Knowing that Harry also ran a motorcycle gang added another level of worry to it.
Harry just pulled YN with him, going to rest against his bike. He looked completely unfazed, whilst YN truly was shitting in her boots slightly. The police car stopped right in front of them, and as the door swung open to the car, Harry lit up a cigarette and brought it up to his lips – again, making it aware that he was completely unfazed by what was happening.
“Styles,” The officer sighed, slamming his car door behind him shit as he walked towards the two of them, “You’re not an easy man to find.”
“Hmm,” Harry just hums, inhaling from his cigarette, “I had no idea you were even looking for me… I wouldn’t have just stood in the middle of the road if I knew.”
The officer chuckled, placing his hands on his hips, “We had reports last night that you attacked a man.”
Harry shook his head, “Couldn’t have been me.”
“It happened at your bar,” The officer took a step forward towards Harry, “Had reports that you hit him over the head with a beer bottle.”
Harry just chuckles, “Officer Thompson, I don’t have time for this he said she said bullshit. If you’ve got something to say to me, I think you should say it.”
The officer just hummed, “Where were you last night?”
“I was at the bar,” Harry nodded, “All night.”
YN started to panic from beside him, but she tried not to make it obvious. Harry must have complete and utter trust in his riders to not say anything to the police. It made sense now to YN as to why that man hadn’t been given a jacket. He had instigated the fight, and yet he had run straight to the police with it. He was a coward and a rat.
“Can anyone corroborate this?”
“I can,” YN was surprised at how strongly her voice came out, “I was there with him all night, I work there.”
The officer hums once more, his eyes dropping down to focus on Harry once more. YN realises that it’s then that the officer has spotted his bandaged hand. YN’s mind starts to spiral slightly, hoping that one of them will be able to come up with something quickly.
“What, uh,” The officer couldn’t hide the smile on his face, obviously thinking that he had found him out, “What happened to your hand, Styles?”
Harry opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, so YN interrupts. She giggles slightly, knowing exactly what type of character was going to be believable for this officer. But desperate times called for desperate measures.
“I’m so sorry, officer, that was my fault,” YN took a small step towards the officer, but not far enough that she wasn’t in arms reach of Harry, “See, I’m real clumsy. And yesterday, I dropped a whole crate of beer and Harry heard the crash, and he helped me clean up – unfortunately, he cut his hand in the process.”
The officer’s eyes moved between Harry and YN. There was no way at that point for YN to try and guess what he was thinking – or what he was going to say. Then, when the officer’s face broke out into a smile just the same as YN’s, she knew she had convinced him.
“I’m sorry to bother you, miss, and I hope you have a good rest of your day,” Then the officer turned to Harry, and the smile on his face dropped, “I’m sure I’ll see you soon, Styles.”
“And I’ll be looking forward to it Officer Thompson.”
Harry rested against his bike the entire time, whilst YN had her arms crossed against her chest. They didn’t say another word to each other until they watched the car turn around and drive away from them. It was only then that YN turned to Harry, who was running a hand over his face. Sighing, YN walked over to him, grabbing his hands (but making sure to be careful of his injured hand).
“You didn’t have to do that,” Harry shakes his head, pulling her hands up so that he can place a kiss on the back of them.
“I know,” YN nods, “But I wanted to.”
Harry rests his chin upon their connected hands, “I wanna take you somewhere.”
YN would be lying if she said that she hadn’t thought about where Harry lived once or twice because she had. He had been to her apartment a few times to pick her up, and whilst she hadn’t necessarily wanted to be that forward and ask him where he lived, there was a part of her which wondered about it.
It was a strange circumstance. Where does the leader of a gang live? Where does he rest his head at night? Where does make his coffee in the morning? Whilst YN wouldn’t necessarily admit it, she was an inquisitive person.
When Harry’s bike came to a stop outside of a garage, one that seemingly had an apartment attached to the top of it – it all made sense. Yes, the bar had to be doing well, with how many people were in it daily. But there had to be another way that Harry was making money, and it seemed as though this was it. She wondered if this had anything to do with the shipments that the other man had been speaking about.
He kicked the standout and gave YN the space the climb off before he did. He walked over to the shutter, unlocked the padlock, and threw it open. The apartment didn’t look too big, but the shop itself was huge. She had expected a car, maybe a few bikes – but she hadn’t expected rows upon rows of bikes lining the side of the walls. In the middle, YN could see the different stations where Harry and some of the other members worked.
“Are these all yours?” YN asked, her finger reaching out to run across the glossy black exterior of one of the bikes closest to her.
“Most of them,” Harry shrugged, dropping the shutter closed behind the two of them after pushing his bike inside, “Me and a few others, we buy them and restore them, make them better to sell on.”
“God, Harry,” YN turns to him, an expression of what could only be described as amazement on her features, “This is amazing.”
He just offered her a small smile, taking small steps towards her until he was close enough to wrap his arms around her middle. YN giggled slightly, resting her head on Harry’s shoulder as he pulled her closer to him.
“Pick one.”
The features on YN’s lips dropped again, “What?”
“Pick one,” Harry repeated, “A bike.”
“Yeah, I gathered that, Harry, I’m just confused as to why.”
He just shrugged, leaning back against the workbench near the two of them. YN turned around so that she was facing him, and Harry at once pressed his hands against her waist. It was funny to YN, to see the big, scary, gang member was so soft around her, and they hadn’t necessarily known each other very long.
“You said it yourself,” He shrugged, his hands pulling her between her body between his open legs, “If you’re gonna be a rider, you’ve got to ride. Seems like you need a bike to do that.”
“Yeah, but I’ll buy one,” YN spoke, as though it was the most obvious thing in the word, “When I have the cash for it.”
Harry shook his head, “No need, rather have you on one of these. Tested them myself, they’re all safe.”
YN just shook her head, propelling her body even further forward so that she could wrap her arms around Harry’s neck and press her lips against his. It was a clumsy kiss, with both of their teeth clashing and smiles upon their features but they did not care.
“Thank you,” She mumbled against his lips, pressing a flurry of chaste kisses to them afterwards.
Harry shook his head, “No need – pick one, baby.”
YN pushed her body up and started to walk up and down the rows of bikes until she spotted it. It was about halfway down the row, a bike with dark green glossy accents, looking nothing but sleek with the dark metal of the engine. It was the one that she wanted, and the second she was standing in front of it she knew it was hers. With that beaming smile across her features, YN turned and launched herself at Harry, wrapping her legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. His hands came to rest on the plump skin of her arse over her dark denim jeans. Even though YN suspected that she had caught him off guard, he didn’t show it on his face.
“How can I ever thank you?” She asked between a litter of kisses to his lips, a boyish smile crossing his features afterwards that YN wants nothing more than to bottle up and remember forever.
“That smile of yours is enough,” Harry nods at her, pressing another full kiss to her lips.
YN tilts her head to the side, turning to look at Harry with a slight smirk crossing her features. His eyebrows furrowed as though he already suspected she was coming up with something in her head.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“Maybe…” YN starts, her teeth clamping down on her bottom lip, hesitating, “Maybe there’s another way I can thank you.”
Harry’s eyes widened, as though he was finally catching on to the thoughts swimming around in YN’s head.
“We don’t have to,” Harry shakes his head quickly. “I promise I’m not expecting anything from you.”
YN just shakes her head, leaning forward to place another kiss on his lips. Her hands tugged at the curls at the nape of his neck.
“I know you’re not,” YN offers him a smile, “I want to. I promise.”
Harry shook his head, a groan emitting from his lips as he tugged her even closer to him if that was possible. YN giggles at his obvious joy at her statement.
“God,” He rests his forehead against hers, “I know it’s wrong, but I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?”
Harry turns, as though he’s going to walk out of the garage, but YN stops him. He furrows his eyebrows at her, and she just giggles once more.
“Want it here.”
“What?”
“Want it here, want you on the bench,” Harry groans once more, moving to drop her down upon the workbench that he had been rested upon earlier.
“Are you sure I haven’t dreamt you up?”
“Nope,” YN shakes her head, “I’m real.”
YN threads her fingers back through the curls at the nape of his neck, bringing his face back to hers. It doesn’t take long for their lips to connect once more. It wasn’t sweet or light. It was rough, as though both of them were finally able to do what they had both been thinking about.
Harry’s hands start to move down her body, resting on the hem of her jeans. She can feel his thumbs pressing down into the skin of her waist, and when it registers in her brain what he was trying to do YN pulls away, shaking her head.
“Not yet,” She lightly pushes his body to the side so that she can jump off the bench, “I haven’t thanked you yet.”
“You don’t have to,” YN’s hands rest on the lapels of his jacket, waiting for his nod before she pushes it off his shoulders.
“I want to.”
It takes just one swipe for Harry to pull his shirt over his head whilst YN’s hands come to rest upon his belt buckle. YN’s eyes widen at the sight of his exposed chest, as well as the tattoos that litter his sin. YN knew that Harry had tattoos; she had seen the ones on his arms multiple times, but it felt different to see the ones on his chest.
Her fingers work quickly to pull Harry’s belt buckle open, working on the button and zip of his jeans next. YN drops down to her knees, pushing Harry back slightly so that he’s resting against the workbench. Harry peers down at her, his chest heaving up and down in anticipation. Her hand rests upon the grey material of his boxers, palming his already semi-hard cock through the light material.
“You like teasing?”
YN shrugs lightly, “I have no clue what you mean.”
Harry laughs, watching her intently as her fingers loop into the band of his boxers, pulling them down to expose him to her. YN finds herself unable to pull her eyes away from his cock. She knew it had to be big from palming him through his boxers but seeing it before she made her mouth water and pressure to build in the pit of her stomach.
She placed a light kiss on his tip, which was already red and leaking from his obvious arousal. YN smiled, giving it a lick from the base to the tip before she used her hand to give it a few tugs. YN was confident in her moves, even though she had only done it a few times before in her life. She gained more confidence from the moans leaving Harry’s lips; they were deep and quiet, but she could hear them, and they caused her to squeeze her thighs together in hopes that it would give her some relief.
“YN… please,” It almost sounded as though he was pleading with her to do something, and YN almost moaned at the sound.
YN wraps her lips around the tip of Harry’s cock, beginning to bob her head up and down. One of her hands rested upon his thigh, whilst the other wrapped around the base of his cock, helping her with what she couldn’t fit in her mouth. Her tongue lightly grazed his tip, earning a louder moan from Harry that egged her on further.
“Fuck… YN.”
Harry’s hands came to rest in her hair, helping her to move her head up and down his cock. It was a light tug that caused YN to moan around his cock, and she could feel Harry resisting from bucking his hips to meet her. Instead, she continued to bob her head, speeding up in hopes that it would help him recover from her teasing.
“YN gotta pull away,” Harry says after a minute or so, his grip on her hair tightening, “I’m gonna cum.”
YN doesn’t stop, however, instead, she keeps going until she hears him moan louder and start to cum down her throat. When she looks up at him, his head is thrown back, and his eyes are closed. She works her head up and down until he’s finished, only pulling away then. When she looks back up at him he has a look in his eyes that makes her assume that they aren’t done.
YN giggles as he puts his hands on her waist and pulls her up so she’s standing, immediately placing a kiss on her lips, seemingly not caring about the fact that his cum was on them. YN’s legs nearly gave out then and there, and she had to place her hands on his biceps to steady herself.
“Did that show my thanks?” She asked, tilting her head to the side innocently.
Harry wraps his arms around her thighs once more, picking her up effortlessly.
“Damn right, it did,” Harry starts to walk over to the door that she suspects goes into the house, “But I’m not done with you yet.”
It was quiet at Clover’s, a lull mid-afternoon on a Friday before everyone picked their spots for the night. YN had spent an hour or so cleaning and drying the glasses that had been used earlier in the day, making sure that they were to have enough for the night ahead.
The repeated motion of washing and drying gave her time to think, and more often than not, she found herself daydreaming about her morning, which she had spent in Harry’s bed, wrapped up in his arms. The two of them had been pretty inseparable before, but after he had gifted her the bike, it had seemingly gotten even worse, if that was possible. It had been weeks since that day, and YN could probably count on one hand the nights she had spent alone since then. Harry waited every night for her after work, and even when he couldn’t she would return to his house and wait for him there.
They hadn’t spoken about what they were necessarily, but that didn’t matter to YN. She didn’t need a label to know how she felt about Harry, and she assumed Harry felt about her also. For the first time in a long time YN was happy, and even though she was only a bartender and that useless history degree of hers wasn’t doing much – she wasn’t yearning for something else, for something better. YN truly felt as though it couldn’t get any better than it currently was.
The door to the bar pushed open, and whilst YN thought it was probably a rider coming in for a drink, she was shocked to see that it was Mick, obviously dropping in to start his shift. Thankfully, since YN had taken the day shift she didn’t have to stay until close tonight, meaning that she could spend more time in bed with Harry to end her week.
“Hey, YN,” She offered Mick a smile, “Just lemme drop my shit in the back and then you can go on break.”
“Thanks, Mick.”
Once he was back out, and she had passed over what she was doing to him, she made her way outside with the sandwich that Harry had made for her earlier. She was going to make her lunch, but Harry insisted that he make it for her. YN smiled at the memory of her sitting upon his kitchen counter, clad only in one of his t-shirts and a pair of pyjama shorts. They had laughed and joked and, at one point, had a break to dance around the kitchen to the song that was playing over the radio.
YN hadn’t had many relationships before, two at most she could think of, but they were never like this. They always felt transactional to YN. But with Harry, it truly felt as though they were two halves. There was a level of domesticity that YN loved more than anything with him, and every little task that they did together meant so much.
Once YN had eaten her sandwich, her thoughts filled with Harry and their morning. YN pulled her legs underneath her and began to read her book, knowing that she could get a chapter or so read before her break was over. It was a book about the Tudors she was reading, something that had been a passion of hers during her degree. It had been a while since she had read anything, but she supposed that the want came from her peace and happiness being restored.
She had just finished a chapter on Henry VIII’s Economic policy when she heard noise from the front of the bar. It was loud, and the voices that were speaking were quick, but it was muffled, so she couldn’t quite decipher what was being said. Putting her bookmark into place and closing the book, she pushed up from the chair and made her way towards the bar.
Mick was standing there, with three or four others in front of him. They looked panicked, and their words reflected that.
“Tell me again,” Mick placed his hands down on the counter, “I can’t tell a word you’re saying when you’re talking that quickly.”
“An accident, Mick,” It was Taylor who spoke, “There was an accident. We were riding along, and this truck came outta nowhere, sent him flying.”
YN moved towards them, her heart immediately starting to thump within her chest.
“Who?” Her words came out quickly, all of the men’s heads turning towards her, “Who went flying?”
“YN… I…” Taylor took a step towards her, his entire face dropping.
That was when she knew.
Her palms started to sweat, and her body felt heavy. There was a dizziness inside her head, and for one second she thought that she was going to fall to ground.
It was Harry.
“Where is he?” Her voice cracked as she spoke, the tears finally starting to collect within her waterline.
“YN…” Mick started.
“No, Mick,” She shook her head, “Where is he? Tell me where he is!”
Taylor took another step closer towards her, “I don’t know. The woman in the store across the street from where it happened phoned an ambulance, I left before they came. If I hazard a guess, they’ll be on their way to the hospital by now.”
YN nodded and before she knew it she was stalking her way outside and towards her bike. Ignoring the tears that were clouding her vision she climbed upon. Just as she was about to start it, a hand touched her elbow. It was Mick. She almost broke down crying there and then.
“Don’t,” Mick shook his head, “You can’t drive like that, darlin’. Let Taylor take you. Please.”
“He has to be okay,” YN shook her head, the sobs starting to wrack through her body.
Mick nodded, helping her off the bike, “He will be. But, if you wanna get there safely, in one piece let the boys take you.”
YN nods, walking over to Taylor’s bike and hopping on behind him. Mick gave her hand one last squeeze.
“Send him my love, okay?” Mick spoke and YN nodded, not trusting herself to be able to reply in that moment.
Taylor started the engine, and before she knew anything, they were hurtling down the street. This time, though, she wasn’t thinking about the wind in her hair.
#biker!harry#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles au#harry styles angst#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles x yn#harry styles one shot#harry styles writing#harry styles fluff#harry styles imagine#harry styles#harry styles series#harry styles historical fic
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"Cool, we're the pineapple under the sea crew if Iorek's in."
Normal chatter until Livvy came up. There was Figaro looking on the bright though.
"True. She's not dead. At least I'm not mourning her legendary pirate soul." He started to grin at the simple act of calling her a pirate recalling how she got her name to begin with. It was so silly. How could he not smile? Then it fell. "Pretty sure she wouldn't want to see me if we did bump into each other." Then it started to grow again. "But watching her attempt to ignore, act cool, or act audacious, whichever would be cute either way." He chuckled at the thought wondering where her instinct would take her.
As for missing the randomness of people in society for these two social creatures Will was nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I mean. We need chile, Smalls. I'm more used to life being a chilli cook off actually. Not just Skyline versus Goldstar, but a god damn county fair cook off any day I feel like not being in the walls. You hit the nail on the head there. Some days I even want a Chilli Dog."
Nothing got his smile to spread more than the mention of Hansel. His time in the walls was special to him. But, oh the phrasing, in the closet. He laughed out loud. "Don't crush me with ideas, Smalls. Hansel's a handsome guy." Willem would hardly be ashamed to admit he got off with a couple girls more on the idea Hansel might have been peeking through the secret wall holes and believing he was giving him a show than the thought of the girls he was with. He never said these sorts of thoughts out loud though. Hansel was probably that best friend secret soft-crush he'd never move on because A. dude was straight, and B. he'd never want to hurt Funkytown if something went wrong even if he wasn't straight. He started to realize flirting with Diana too much started to be an issue. He never wanted to hurt a doll in any way. Either way he sure didn't mind giving Hansel a show and enjoyed it.
When they got out of the bus it was hard not to notice the amount of corpse debris strewn about. He flared his nostrils on first foul breath. He put the back of his wrist up to his nose. "You might want to wear that around your neck. Damn." His brows furrowed as his face cringed unable to stop inhaling in the pungent odor due to need for breathing. He'd smelled worse, especially in the beginning, but he still wasn't used to it no matter how long he'd lived in Feral.
All he could even think to say about Quarantine was, "That's Feral for ya." It was hardly shocking even if his nose still disliked it.
Another big smile spread when he saw Figaro with a rather large weapon. "Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking 'bout. Dear Davey Jones. You look so... kick ass."
The best part of Bastien and his hoarding and their strange nothing you need store is everything that's expensive is nothing but a treasure hunt away. This appealed to Willem's pirate looting side. Bastien had a tendency to hoard anything and everything and organized in a system of his own design. Willem was more specific with his looting. That said one can best bet Wild Will came home to Funkytown one day with the Resident Evil VRs for his horror movie watching household. He brought enough headsets for half the dolls to play and even modded them to fit smaller dolls heads. Of course, the Polly Pockets and action figure sized were still out of luck, but he tried to make them user friendly. It was one of his own favorite loots.
"Yes, and please." He was ready to go up and check out the dolls that were haunting his mind tonight. He knew he wasn't going to sleep well if he didn't go check on them. So, he led Figaro on up to Livvy's old apartment. Willem had over time even gotten the key to the front door to the place because he heard of Frank's people races for Feral. The reality was most didn't make it beyond the race and if they did, they weren't prepared for what Feral was. The zombies got them before they had a chance to settle in, but on the off chance someone was a tough cookie that survived the Feral trials he wanted to keep this one space safe. So, he'd be seen pulling out a key of his own and unlocking her apartment as if it was his own. It wasn't a difficult item to acquire when the Landlord's office was abandoned.
"This is it." He knew Figaro wanted to rummage her uncle's belongings, but he still walked back to Livvy's room first.
"Her room is back here."
The shelving unit he made that Livvy never saw would be there, installed, and covered neatly in her collection of dolls and figurines. They were all lined up with care and placed at aesthetically pleasing angles.
He reached in for the mermaid first and sat on the edge of her bed. "I love this one." He said before kicking off the portion of his costume that made his feet look like hooves. They were getting uncomfortable, and it was a show he was making himself comfortable and intended to stay for a while. He was in no rush.
He took a dust cloth that was sitting off on a side table and wiped it off. It was still sitting there from last time he'd been in along with some Windex and dust spray. He intended to wipe down the shelves and tend to each one like he always did.
"She loved this one." He added. The Livvy Mermaid. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, but he enjoyed letting the memories whirl around his head as he touched each one that were living in boxes before he pulled them out, like a collector too afraid to open them up afraid of them losing value instead of enjoying them. The only difference was he knew that wasn't why she kept them in the box. Willem always saw Livvy as another little giant too busy trying to be what she wasn't or who she thought others needed her to be to enjoy who she was. That's why he knew those dolls were loved even shoved in the back of a closet in boxes instead of given away, donated, or sold off. It was thoughts like that which Livvy never quite knew or understood about Willem because they never dwelled long on depths of each other, but it was still thoughts like that which kept Willem attached. It was too close to home.
"Every now and again I think about bringing them all back to Funkytown, but I think they'll worry they might miss her if she comes back." He'd say as if they were actually alive and had thoughts and feelings even all of these didn't have any of the Geppetto magic on them. Willem believed he understood all the feelings of dolls even when they didn't.
"They don't get too lonely. They have each other." He let Figaro know in case they were worried. It had been a worry of his.
He looked more at peace in there than at the ball. "You don't have to sit here while I tidy them. You can go exploring like you wanted. I can meet you in there when I'm done if you want?" He had a feeling Figaro would get bored watching him dust the figurines and shelves and fluff the dolls.
“I am feeling pretty jolly,” Figaro admitted. Seeing their father was bittersweet but there was a lot of good to take away from that. He was watching over them. And he was proud. The ghosts of their Merry Men friends stuck around. There wasn’t much reason to not be jolly.
“I think I’d make a sick Larry,” Figaro hummed as they careened the bus down the mountain road. “Hey Iorek, you wanna be Gary?”
The bear let out a sound that sounded half-whine, half yawn. Figaro looked over their shoulder at him.
“Mrs. Puff? You want to be Mrs goddamn Puff?” They said, with wide eyes. “Damn. I didn’t know you wanted to go for sex appeal. Let’s fuckin do it.”
They nodded, not having much of an opinion either way of whether Livvy was still going to be active in their lives or not. “Hey, she’s alive though, that’s something,” They said. Not a lot of people were these days. “So there’s a chance that you’ll be able to see her again.”
Looking on the bright side wasn’t always their forte but when it came to Will? Goddamn, they really wanted him to be happy. Even if it was with someone like Livvy. That girl had made him smile, while also being frustrating at the same time. Messy - but at least he was showing his teeth.
“You’re right about that, I miss meeting people,” Figaro said, eyes on the road, their voice actually being serious. “Nothing against our friends obviously but - yeah. Variety in the spice of life and we’re not getting that. I’m growing sick of paprika, I want some chile.”
They didn’t mean this romantically, obviously, but they were a social being. There was nothing shy about Figaro. They’d just pop in and make themselves at home, that’s how they made a lot of their friends. And either they gott rejected, or they were invited in as if they had always been there. Meeting Flotsam, as if they had been instant best friends the moment that they met. The high school cafeteria table where they sat, despite not really talking to Arthur and Lance, boom, as if they had been sitting together since kindergarden. And then inviting Willem over to live with them despite only having spoken for a couple of days. They tested that chemistry with a lot of people. And now there wasn’t anyone to pop up on.
Figaro agreed though. Willem did need a certain kind of chaos in his life. “Maybe she’ll surprise ya one day,” They offered. Granted, it seemed HIGHLY unlikely that Delta was ever going to invite in someone like Livvy, a human that didn’t offer that much to her at all. Not without killing her or something similar. But regardless. Stranger things have happened.
They chuckled as they heard Willem sing and joined in with the tune. “-in the closet, that’s Hansel, he’s a bit shy so don’t scream too much!”
They parked up by the playground and looked out the windshield at the building. This area didn’t get much upkeep in Feral. Willem was the only one who really ever came to it. Old blood - once a bright red but now a brick-brown, blended into the walls, and a few bodies still lay around, decomposing. Figaro grabbed the Dragon-Fruit Little Tree air freshener from the mirror and wrapped it around their wrist. “Man, I hate the smell of the dead in the morning,” They sighed.
The bodies didn’t smell too much. It was mostly just bones and a bit of ooze. Being left out in the elements like the sun and the rain definitely had their effects. But they took a big whiff of the air freshener before daring to step outside.
It was still dark, the sky only lightening slightly, as they approached the building. It seemed so desolate. It didn’t need the Frank and Delta treatment to be spooky. “Why am I getting REC vibes? Quarantine? I wish I had a machete.”
That’s when they spotted something glistening. “Oh hey, a dead cop. Oooooh, hey, a dead cop’s gun!” They said, going towards it and took it out of the corpse’s fingerbones. “Now we’re going Resident Evil, baby. Let’s go hang out with some cool dolls.”
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The Big Lie of Transphobia
There is a lot of really horrifying transphobic stuff going on at the moment, even relative to the baseline. Like arrests and federal repression in the U.S. and don't even get me started on that new policy from Facebook and the propaganda amplification that's going to do. So you may find yourself wondering what you can do to help.
As always the real answer to that is to just give all the money and other material aid you possibly can to every trans person you are personally aware of. Individually. Don't look for a charity to donate to, there really isn't one. Make those patreon pledges and write those checks and empty those wallets and cosign for those houses, go!
But if what you're really asking is, what can you do that won't personally inconvenience you, the best thing you can probably do is to really internalize that the Big Lie backing up all the transphobia out there is a complete lie, and convince everyone else you can too. And what's the Big Lie behind transphobia? "Trans women are men who believe they are women." As usual with these, I'm going to expound on that a ton under the fold here.
It really is the lynchpin of everything transphobes have to push. If you don't believe it, none of the things they're pushing for makes even the slightest bit of sense, but if you DO believe it, even if you aren't all in on the other hate stuff, it's going to warp the hell out of your perspective and make you a crappy ally. And wow is it ever deeply embedded in there.
So for what it's worth, as a reminder, when people make statements like "trans women are women" that is stating an actual fact. That's not some weird feel-good slogan that "really" means "you should treat trans women like they are real women" or something. It's just what we freaking are. We aren't men who have some strange mental illness that makes us think of ourselves as women, we aren't people who start out as men and for some reason make some kind of decision to become women. We're just women, always have been, just like any other woman.
If you've met a number of trans women, you can very clearly and plainly see that's true, but the thing is, most people haven't. And the lie gets pushed damn hard. Most people's idea of what a trans woman is, and for that matter, most other things about life, comes from what they see in TV and movies and the like, and on those occasions where a work of fiction features someone they'll call a trans woman, they tend to get some dude to put on a dress to play the part, which is usually also some sort of weird crazy murderous sex worker. Movies and TV also tend to depict cars as prone to burst into massive fireballs if anything goes wrong with them, glass windows as something you can jump through without being sliced up so badly by the shards you're basically going to die instantly, police as caring helpful people who try to solve crimes and return people's stolen stuff and such, and people with albinism as having strange magical powers. None of this is actually true in reality.
So yeah, it's not even a little bit true. If you look at the people who insist the loudest that it is, you'll notice they are completely out of touch with reality and preach all kinds of ridiculous BS. Get it into your head that there isn't even a sliver of truth to it, and it's easier to get on the right side of a lot of things.
Are trans women trustworthy? Yeah? I mean, as much as the next person. Why wouldn't we be? Because some freaking weirdo is sharing all kinds of weird conspiracy theories and setting up weird freaking stalker shrines about us? Pretty clear who it is you shouldn't be trusting there.
Is it OK for trans women to play sports? Yeah? Why would that even be a problem? We don't have superpowers or anything. We're just regular freaking women. Well OK a lot of us have pretty nasty health problems leaving us a bit less physically fit than most women, but you know, doing athletic stuff should help with that.
Is it OK for trans women to use public restrooms? Yeah? Like honestly, I know a lot of guys get weird about women going to the bathroom in groups sometimes but there's nothing sinister about that, just sometimes you need to pull someone aside to ask if you can borrow some embarrassing thing or double check makeup or check if someone's date is as big a creep as they come off and you need to run interference. Mostly though people just need to pee sometimes, and society generally prefers that people do so in a toilet and not the street or whatever.
What about children being trans? Like... everyone's a child at some point? A lot of the downsides to being trans come from associated medical issues which can be totally prevented if spotted early, so it's actually very good to have kids look out for whether they might be dealing with those and get the appropriate medication, which is true for basically anything.
Well what about [whatever stupid BS derailment]? Yeah I'm addressing a group of people who actually need to have it explained to them that women are in fact women and not men, let's not go confusing people with whatever weird sidetrack you want to get onto.
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I know I said wouldn't get to anything about Cass before reading Batgirl after being done with all the meta and exams and deep-diving but I can't help myself, just one thing (i promise just one one thing)
According to Bishop et al, 2017, Cass, prior to getting language into her head (i think via meta), aka Cass growing up without learning any actual language, should fit a language disorder, but not Language Development Disorder
Note that this is not to be understood as the Language Disorder from the DSM (DSM-5 is from 2015), Bishop et al suggested the term "Language Development Disorder" to refer to the entity that's more or less described as Language Disorder in the DSM, while Bishop et al's term of Language Disorder is a broader category that includes Language Development Disorder but also other stuff, including Cass' situation. And I think it's Roch et al (2019) that gives a lovely decisional tree to recap what term to use according to Bishop et al, so it's lovely to see Cass' situation be so explicitly included and taken into account when situations of symptoms reminiscent of symptoms of neurodevelopmental disorders but induced by neglect/mistreatments sometimes really feel like, excluded or disregarded in the dsm and psychopatholgy in general (probably because developmental psychopatholgy is such a young field yet and classifications have a history of basing their analysis of disorders in childhood on adult psychopatholgy). Anyway. Very happy about this. Shout-out to Bishop et al for doing amazing (and fucking tedious) work. Justice for Cass!
#cassandra cain#cass cain#black bat#orphan dc#dc#dc comics#batgirl 2000#cassandra cain meta#watch me not keep my promises lmao#aaaargh#batgirl#batgirls#dc meta#batfam
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Oh, your love is sunlight
Happy (late) Valentine's Day (version without text ↓ +description in tags)
#east blue asylum wing au#zosan#zoro x sanji#zs#first off if its bad quality - it's a huge canvas and it's more pixelated if i try to export the picture than if I screenshot so... :/#I sometimes like assigning songs to different dynamics and or characters I play around with and I've been recently listening to#a lot of Hozier again and I'd like to think that Sunlight is how Zoro sees Sanji - he is Icarus flying to the sun and he is willing to get#burned if only to reach the sunlight - it's a deathtrap... because of course it is... all attachments are but Sanji's love is the death tra#that he welcomes like a moth to a flame because even Icarus felt the bliss and freedom before his wax melted#I haven't depicted it here but Sanji's Hozier song for Zoro would probably be NFWMB because in his eyes Zoro is this untouchable force#that would watch the world go up in flames and when the time Sanji wouldn't mind being a tree just to fuel his fire (im well aware how#cheesy that sounds just bare with me... or better yet listen to the song its really good trust me ok?)#the world starts and ends with him and where they lay#and their shared Hozier song is Francesca because if anything in this au zosan are two lovers stuck in Dante's inferno and sprinting back i#only for the chance to get back to their lover and if that meant going back into hell to look for each other then so be it#there's a part of the song that goes “My life was a storm / Since I was born / How could I fear any hurricane?” which is pretty fitting imo#op#fan art#my art
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Yeah, as much as I talk about wanting TST, it probably wouldn't have worked (which is most likely why CC scrapped it). More than anything else, I think the issue is that the Circle generation is a tragedy stretched over several decades, rather than an adventure/romance about teenagers.
There's about eight years between the Circle forming at the Academy and their downfall at the Uprising. I doubt that CC would set a series over that long a time period, and if she focused on any 1-2 year period, she would leave out a lot of what people love about the Circle. So many of the things we want to know more about are set years apart from each other, or don't come to fruition until the characters are adults. Luke and Jocelyn couldn't have much of a romance, because that happens in TMI, and we know for sure that Jocelyn was fully unaware of Luke's feelings until then. We've already been shown a lot of their big turning point moments ("The Last Stand of the New York Institute," "The Evil We Love"), so if anything was set during those periods, then the books would have to either repeat stuff we already know, or skip over these big important plot beats.
For example, an Academy era story could be set before The Evil We Love, but that would be before Valentine got particularly extreme, when it was still just a friend group. Plus, characters like Celine and Hodge would be too young to really participate. It could be set after that story, but then Michael and Robert would have graduated, and the story would be weirdly split. And anyways, why would we need full novels set during the Academy era? We already have a short story that gives a perfect snapshot of what things were like.
I definitely want more from the Circle generation. I want to know about Michael, Stephen, Amaris, Celine; all the characters whose stories we haven't really heard yet (also Robert and Maryse are two of my favorites and I need more of them even though they're in plenty of books already). A full book series just wouldn't be the way to do it. Their story isn't structured like that, and I'm worried that it would either feel weird as a single long narrative (so many plot threads unresolved because they don't come to pass until TMI, lots of characters spread across different lives who don't really like each other), or get squished into the more traditional hero's journey -> tragic downfall structure (no longer fits in with the established canon).
Short stories really are the perfect solution, because they can hone in on those turning point moments, while giving a snapshot of an entire era and hints to what came before and after. I'd love to see one about Michael's life with Eliza and how he felt about Robert and the Circle from afar, or about Stephen choosing to leave Amatis on Valentine's orders, or how Hodge came to reconnect with Valentine in the 2000s because he felt abandoned by the Clave. These things probably couldn't fit into a cohesive series of novels, but they could definitely work as brief stand-alones. Each character could get their own mini-arc that shows something important about them, even if it doesn't fit into some kind of smoothly overarching plot. We wouldn't need to worry about every plot threat reaching a climax at around the same time, or every character getting their narratively satisfying resolution. It could just be what it was, scattered and unresolved.
i love the bits of lore we have about the circle and i think it's a really underrated and under-discussed aspect of tsc, but i dont think the secret treasons/any other story which focuses solely on the circle could ever be something that fits into tsc as a whole, and i know that any real version of it would only ever disappoint me. so i while my curiosity for what tst wouldve been like will never go away i unfortunately do ultimately prefer the circle as this background story which only ever leaves you wondering about what truly happened
#okay but now i've kinda gotten myself obsessed with the idea of a short story collection that tells the twenty year tale of the circle#through stories focused on each of the characters#like. one in the early academy days about jocelyn meeting valentine and the circle falling together#then we have the evil we love for robert#amatis getting her brother and husband ripped away in close succession#stephen looking at his life with celine and planning for his child while going through a moral crisis#michael trying to disconnect himself from valentine while still feeling pulled to stay near robert#valentine's pov for the uprising and then running off with jace and sebastian could be really cool#maryse trying to reestablish herself as an institute head while dealing with a loveless marriage and children she adores#hodge's whole deal with realizing that valentine still gives more of a shit about him than the clave does#(if his is the last one then it could end with hearing that jace brought a mundane into the institute and wr all know it's clary)#this is all being brainstormed as i type so it's not super polished but yeah#now i'm thinking thoughts#shadowhunters#i respect that cc probably won't write much more circle stuff#(other than the luke/jocelyn story which i'm super hyped for)#but it's still fun to think about
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Posting out of order again bc I finally finished this one!
7- The Chariot
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#ace attorney#fanart#tarot art#athena cykes#simon blackquill#my art#digital art#aa tarot#art#dual destinies#major arcana#the chariot#the worm draws#i was worried i wouldn't be able to fit athena in any of the major arcana cards so im glad i put her in this one#blackquill also bc i didnt have any other cards in mind for him#but i have them both planned for some minor arcana cards#might post justice tomorrow but if i dont finish it in time ill save it until after i post the next 3 cards#which is probably what will happen#the next 3 are the star the moon and the sun so i wanna post em in a row yk
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🤞
#exams did go fairly well#hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them#so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks#so hopefully i can get back to better routines now#i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious#buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week#also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk#my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities#i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra#i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so#but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either#well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig#but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study#i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism#we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them#i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely#like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting#and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well#but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy#otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy#but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports#before uni starts at half 10#i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus#i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself
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Wait, hang on
Wait
Changeling
Changeling
Hang on I'm cooking
#I have this visual concept in my head wait wait#I can't draw right now because work but ahhhhhhhhh#It probably sounds dumb but ahhhhh#It's about Bramble oops#Anyway anyway anyway I can't contain my excitement at this thought#So I have the “all fairies / anti fairies / pixies split from angels” theory right?#And as I mentioned there are some of the original species who were never divided into three beings because they either managed to escape#OR. because they weren't in Fairy World / the heavens and they were just. Missed and forgotten about#And of course if they're forgotten about and never had contact with other magical beings#They wouldn't know /what/ they are#Other than what the humans call them: changelings.#And if they later meet fairies who have no idea that angels were ever even a thing#They'd just assume this “changeling” is a fairy too#And of course the changeling wouldn't know any different either#But they'd probably continue calling themself a changeling instead because fairy doesn't feel like it fits quite right#ANYWAY#eventually when the truth is revealed and everyone finds out about the angels#These changelings would find out too#They'd find out that they're 3 times as powerful as the average fairy#That they have this power they didn't know they had#And if they HAPPEN to also have pent up anger and frustration#Well. Sudden uncontrollable power and rage are hardly ever a good mix#(uncontrollable because even if these changelings are angels#They never used or were trained to use the full extent of their power#So it's not like the knowledge of their origins would magically make them know how to control it))#ANYWAY AGAIN#Rambling#Thoughts
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Even if it's serving a larger theme, I really don't like the thought of Starscream not having subjectivity when it comes to his evil actions? It actually makes me kind of uncomfortable to see that stripped away from him…
Agreed. I feel like him choosing to do evil himself is so important. Him not having had this choice in becoming evil I feel may ironically weaken his ending message in #14 — "Never again will I be the property of anyone! I will be the master of my own destiny. / The captain of my own fate." — because his fate/destiny, while no longer directly held by Megatron, has been greatly impacted by being corrupted by Megatron in a way that's seemingly irreversible. (...I really wonder what's gonna go down when Megatron and Starscream meet again? I wouldn't think he'd be killed [or whatever'd happen to him] so soon after getting 2 issues dedicated to his backstory, though)
I suspect the gun idea arose from wanting to answer a question one might having watching the cartoon — "why would Megatron let someone who openly covets his position wield him?"
Megatron victimizes and traumatizes many people but I think it's almost always so "meritless" when Starscream is shown to be victimized like this because it like, consumes his character and also Megatron's character, as if part of Starscream's core identity is victimhood and Megatron is targeting him (beyond Decepticon-y retaliation for assassination attempts or something) intentionally as his outlet for anger and violence, and I feel it doesn't do justice to either character.
I absolutely feel the same way about all of this. When writers have Megatron victimize Starscream, I feel that it's often just a shorthand way to go "look how brutal and evil Megatron is" without any deeper consideration of the ramifications for what portraying their dynamic in this way means. (Spotlight: Megatron comes to mind...)
Heavy on this kind of dynamic consuming their characters and feeling it doesn't do either character justice.
Prime probably cannot go unmentioned for popularizing the portrayal of their dynamic like this. Considering this, I don't think their dynamic in Prime has any merit at all; and I think it ought to be seen as fundamentally unsalvageable & poor writing — and subsequently not worth repeating at all...
I really don't feel that Starscream and Megatron offer anything as a depiction of an abusive dynamic because the entire point of it is always to show Megatron's brutality and Starscream suffering — neither of which mean anything! I really don't feel like Megatron targeting Starscream like that has a point (save for like Decepticony retaliation like you said) because Megatron doesn't treat many people well in the first place (and, neither does Starscream).
I was going to write more about this but I wasn't satisfied with it (I'll have to do some reading/watching to formulate my thoughts better I think).
Ultimately, Starscream is in Megatron's inner circle because he covets Decepticon leadership (which would entail Megatron's death/defeat) and Megatron will not take kindly to his usurpation attempts.
I'd get hate for it, but I think in terms of just characterization, looking past the larger theme Skybound might have, that Earthspark let Starscream be his own person and portrayed him far more effectively.
I think so too, now with all of Skybound Starscream's evil being essentially from Megatron corrupting him.
Whereas in EarthSpark, fitting with its themes, it was Starscream himself who chose to do evil, discarding others to his own detriment, and faced the consequences of his decision. Definitely one of my favorite Starscream iterations.
When it comes to Optimus in Skybound, I'm also really curious about his arc, and I feel he escapes the issues I see in Starscream's story because Optimus and characters like Elita-1 make it clear that this is a return to a way Optimus was in the past that he's tried to move on from.
Yeah, and it's much more gradual than Starscream's story, allowing Optimus to have subjectivity after the moments his hand is forced where he's shown to be greatly disturbed by it.
…I actually kind of hope what happens with Cliffjumper's plan is something deeply upsetting and tragic, in which the new person created is in a state akin to Dinobot II or Rampage in Beast Wars!
Me too tbh. I hope that's the direction it'll go.
Also your comment about Arcee reminded me of a previous thing that felt kinda discrepant — in #14 Brawl eagerly claims he and Onslaught overheard Soundwave plotting against Shockwave, but in #10 their dialogue doesn't really read like that? Maybe I'm just nitpicking...
More detailed thoughts on the current arc of the Skybound comics (spoilers for up to the most current issue, #16) in which I give some more insight into why I'm still kinda ambivalent about certain parts:
Starting with the negatives to get them out of the way (they're not super serious or anything but I think they're why I'm not sure how I feel yet).
The characters who are part of the Combiners are not really characterized at all, and when they are it seems very odd. The Combaticons as big Starscream fans is really strange to see, especially when I remember their G1 debut. Mostly, the Constructicons and Combaticons feel like they're fulfilling rank-filling roles.
It's too vague right now to know what exactly happened between Starscream and Megatron in the past, but if Megatron was compelling or mind-controlling Starscream, I think that doesn't really do Starscream a lot of justice. However (and this is a big however) I believe this plotline is probably symbolic and ties into what's going on with Optimus. This series seems to be exploring the harsh realities of war and its corrupting influences, so even if I'm not sure about how one particular character is written, it may serve the greater narrative.
Arcee's crisis in #16 didn't make sense to me? She didn't jeopardize anything at all, that was only Optimus's (wrong) interpretation... and he went and killed Shockwave anyway! It just seemed odd to me to see her be comforted by Optimus when it almost feels a little hypocritical.
The thing I still find most frustrating is, unsurprisingly, how Jazz is written in this series. He barely feels like a real person with depth even now. Although nothing is like, contradicting his G1 characterization, the fact that Jazz was one of the most prominent and fleshed-out of all the transformers is making me feel like he's not being utilized very well. He always had lots of interesting things to say in the cartoon but I don't feel like that's happening here.
Now onto the positive things!
I continue to adore what DWJ's doing with Elita-1. We get to see her now as a leader of a team, a trait I've been waiting for, and I was surprised by and enjoy her friendship with Warpath! I never would've thought of something like that, but I guess it makes sense. They've been portrayed as Cybertronian resistance fighters before. Her smile while he's getting repaired was so sweet.
In a similar vein, I love seeing characters who have always been around but rarely focused on getting much more attention and care in the narrative. Bluestreak's ruthlessness was great to see focused on and maybe this series will do something more with the fact that his backstory is like Cliffjumper's in this series. I was really excited to see Trailbreaker, a character with a ton of potential, get to shine a little too! I really hope he goes on to be a major character.
Astrotrain is also a highlight for me, and I was pretty surprised to hear he wants revenge against Megatron because... Megatron killed his love interest? This is a surprising and confusing turn I never would've thought of, but I guess this is how Astrotrain would act if such a thing happened, and I'm wracking my brain trying to guess what the backstory is there. I think I'd prefer if this was about a pre-existing character and not an OC, because I found Starscream's backstory about a dead OC friend kinda weak TBH.
I'm super excited to see further fallout of Thundercracker feeling so betrayed and I was happy that this finally happened.
Megatron using Laserbeak as his eyes is really cool and I doubt DWJ would do this, but it would kind of be nice if Megatron was just blind for the whole series.
I'm really eager to see how this comic approaches the deep-seating transformer cultural issue of creating new life to be soldiers thing now that its reared its ugly head, and if Cliffjumper might have some kind of crisis later on if he feels guilt over his choices.
The art is just incredible and continues to be!
For now, I think I'm waiting to see if all this comes together like the end of the last arc worked so well.
#skybound spoilers#vynx.analysis#skybound transformers#i'm so excited to see what megatron'll do... he's got so many things to answer#ah decepticon treachery... my favorite#waiting for the day the enclave (TF UK 270) gets brought back... (<- this is never happening)#i wanted to talk about how m & ss's greater roles in the story dont allow for such a narrative which is why it's always so dissatisfying#but i couldnt write it that well
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the whole 'there are not very many Great Causes worth fighting for these days' from Julian scanned as WAY more out of touch than the moon landing thing for me the first time i read tsh
#like to the point of it being actively jarring when i got to him saying that#the secret history#'they landed on the moon??' well okay i guess it's not really their area#and they've been really out of touch with the news since it's also not really their area + they've been#off to the woods/a country house/etc and getting very drunk and killing deer and also people#i don't remember the exact dates re the moonlanding + the events of the book but like.#Sure. that's probably fair or at least kind of understandable#that could Feasably Happen On Accident at least#but julians like 'there isn't much worth fighting for these days' and um.#if you pay attention to literally anything happening in the world at any given moment at all. ever.#....what? literally what do you mean by this?#there have always been So So many Great Causes that people are dying for all the time constantly forever#and even if you've somehow managed to comoletely block out literally every piece of news/political development/etc#that's not really a reason to assume there Aren't. that's a reason to go like. well if there are any Great Causes left today then#I don't know about them. and even if we assume he's defining what makes a cause worth fighting for by classical values#and saying that that means for example that he wouldn't necessarily think of say the civil rights movement or liberatory movements etc#as fitting (which i think is also probably debatable- it comes to mind that the athenians valued (their own) freedom. political engagement#was valued but only the right kind from the right people. etc. what i'm saying is that#no i don't think they actually fit what julian would be thinking of as the classical mind's* idea of a great cause worth dying for#but also you could debate that/frame things differently/etc (*presumably there is a more particular subset of the population he has in mind#than just 'classical' or 'greek' in actuality. like. specifically those from whom we having writing/would have citizenship/etc.))#i'm certain there are plenty of arguments to be made. like plenty of people are fighting for various countries#it's not like wars or empires have stopped existing or other myriad conflicts have stopped existing#also in typing this i've realised he was maybe forshadowing henry's death#and now i need to go look up the exact quote and make another post i guess.#(also disclaimer that i'm aware i've phrased a lot of this clumsily. it is midnight these are the tags of a tumblr post and i am not sober.)#anyway to rephrase my initial point i just think with the moon landing thing that's One major event you missed.#if you're saying that there are No Great Causes Worth Fighting/Dying For (with the understanding that you think those are a thing#that can exist) then i think maybe you managed to skip out on hearing about significantly more#than just the one major event. that's much harder to manage i would think
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Oh FUCK dude.p
#i. ohmygod. i am gay#yeah. and a femboy. gay in the way i swing both ways and all but#hoooooo loorrd#ium. oh my god#this entire day ive worn shorts. crop top. binder. thigh highs. never have i felt so. woah.#like. submissive? i think. not sure.#but god i felt so cute.#i need to cut my hair.#fuck. thinking about. gjjgjjjg. i sort of Liked being called a brat. and a good boy. and all the other names. theyuhm. woah.#its so.. difficult to talk to them on vc because while i can do my stuf in chat and calm down quicker. oh god. oh ffujcjk#its just. its so hard because i get so flustered or excited and.#im used to doing all those things with my friends but#i FORGOT i cant do my sounds at those photos. it is so embarrassing. i am deceased.#and oh. maybe. maybe that fits make me Feel something. the threats i mean#the torture was silly but. oh gosh i can only banter with them when dusty is gone#dusty probably wouldn't be okay with some of the stuff they say especially after i showed off one thing and they seemed just...#so concerned. weird.#i don't think any of this is bad and i like it and it makes me happy and blushy and giggly and my friends are great#i like having power taken away from me so quick but i wish i had something to use against them. .. itd be nice to keep that power.....
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💀 for the scoundrel, 🃏 for caeru, 🐀 for both
putting this under a cut bc it got surprisingly long (blame the cardsru question)
💀 What's their relationship with the Boatman like?
Ever since she finished Evolution and picked the Naturalist's fate? Not exactly swell. He's not exactly pleased about her choice, and she hasn't exactly gotten any better at chess. And she has a bad habit of dying. A lot. Usually in really stupid ways (such as trying to fight two dozen tigers, to name a completely absurd and definitely totally absolutely not recent hypothetical)
To keep a long story short: They don't get along. Most of their boat visits these days are spent in silence. Or vague small talk. Or awkwardly trading weasels back and forth. The Scoundrel tries to avoid him... mostly. Emphasis on the "tries" part of that sentence.
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🃏 What would be/will be their name and domain as a Master?
I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE MASTER!CAERU IS SO BASED AND ALSO HAS BEEN HAUNTING ME.
Aaanyway, despite myself, as unequivocally funny as the nickname "Cardsru" might be, I don't think it'd end up being his domain in quite the same way it is for the Scoundrel*.
Instead, I could see him being a way more general hoarder of knowledge, if that makes any sense? Facts, histories, lore both mundane and eldritch in nature, everything he could get his grubby little batty hands on. He'd trade in secrets and clues, acting as an information broker for anyone able to pay the price for his services. The price in question, of course, being a trade in mysteries of equal or greater worth to what he's giving up- street gossip for street gossip, arcane secrets for arcane secrets, maybe even the results of an especially chainbreaking experiment for a few dozen notes on tests of his own making.
He wouldn't be kind. And he wouldn't accept lies or forgery. But he'd always be fair, and he'd always look the other way when it mattered most. And if rumor on the street claims he's the most revolutionary of the Masters, the most destructive of their own ranks and ties, the council's man on the inside, the one who heralds the Liberation and welcomes its embrace with open claws-
Well. You'd need to trade a particularly enticing bit of information to learn the truth, wouldn't you?
His name is trickier to imagine. Mr Arcana sounds cool. Or maybe Mr Memoirs. Mr Enigma? Whatever he is, he'd be Mr Pages' worst nightmare, and he'd absolutely revel in it.
*and the scoundrel would actually have an entirely different spacebat special interest if they Actually Got A Say In Things! unfortunately they very much do not.
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🐀 Are they friends with any rats?
At this point? Considering how many actions I've spent grinding fourth city echoes at LB Industries? There's no way the Scientist doesn't have a whole rat social network going. He probably gets along great with the little buggers. Inventor for inventor behavior. I haven't played Dream of a Thousand Tails yet, but he'd probably be best friends with the Piebald Dreamer if/when they ever meet.
Overall though, he's just a weird ratty guy! He respects rats!! Even if he tries to eat them sometimes. Unaccountably peckish, and all that. You know how it is.
The Scoundrel, by comparison, tends to see rats as vague annoyances at best. They tolerate their existence, but it's pretty much just that- toleration.
They'll be buddy-buddy with rats for as long as it suits their own interests. And as soon as those interests diverge from the rat's own?
...it's probably best to get the heck out of dodge before they get caught in the inevitable crossfire of whatever hairbrained scheme the Scoundrel happens to be pursuing at that particular moment.
#ask#fallen london#power ending/any other potential way to ascend to master status is such an interesting thought experiment for caeru#bc he wouldn't choose it in a million years. but it's so fun to picture if he Did. and also how. and maybe even why?#the why is still ambiguous lmao. he has no respect for those evil capitalistic space bats#if he had to climb the chain in some way he'd probably fit better as like. the same sort of creature as the vulgate from firmament part 1#maybe a scrivener from sskies?#but honestly he'd rather destroy the whole affair and be done with it. he's so justice destiny coded. it's a shame about the SMEN#anyway legend says the master of chance (the scoundrel) and the master of secrets (the scientist)#kiss kiss and gay haters for haters marriage#love wins.#scoundrelventures
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to my best abilities im doing just a little bit of prep work on a possible stocean retelling thing with the same kind of approach as my part3/4 shenanigans. im also integrating a what-if scenario i've been craving to explore for a very long time into it and as an extension of that i effectively have to consider ways in which made in heaven and pucci could be defeated without a universe reset and it feels like. cheating, kind of. like yeah no shit im doing writing and that involves me creating applicable solutions to specific problems that i often create for myself to solve, but somehow hand-crafting a counter for a stand that represents the inevitable power creep of stands from part3 to 6 has me feeling particularly penisy about this idk
#soda offers you a can#i think it has at least something to do with how stocean ends#it's bittersweet but also very fitting and ultimately i wouldn't have it any other way#but i also have a very specific vision about the rules part6 bends about stands and the parallels of star platinum and the world#and if i explore those i inevitably will remove the universe reset from the equation#there's probably other reasons too but this might be the most obvious one
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made the krew with the same picrew as the gaang late last night (like 2 am 😬😬) (haha pickrew)
#literally just went in and remade mako so his background would match cause his was inversed#and i thought it wouldn't bother me and yet i just remade it so (there were no actual changes other than that so you didn't miss anything)#i gave asami a beauty mark in the same spot as mako but YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE IT#bolin literally looks just like him#i'm just so good (lemme stop)#i feel like korra would get into fights a lot so i gave her face scars#gave mako torso scars but you can only see the one on his neck cause clothes#gave bolin acne cause i can#asami just is so pretty and she always will be in any art style it's crazy#went with bob korra cause it's superior#bolin is the only one out of these two posts that has two white dots in his eyes cause it just fit him#dimpled bolin for the win#i did unfortunately spend the least time on mako IM SORRY#(back on my bolin is literally just him) like that IS his nose i-#gave asami glasses for the same reason as sokka she probably has so much eye strain and TO ME she has reading glasses in canon anyways#idk if she actually does obviously (i haven't read the comics...)#asami just like suki also canonically has colored lips at all times (i'm not wording this right) and it's so interesting to me#tlok#the legend of korra#korra#mako#bolin#asami#legend of korra#the krew
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thinking about loz byler au again (breath of the wild specifically rn) and my brain keeps going "oooh the party as the champions" bc it sounds like it works out PERFECTLY there are 6 people in the party there's 6 champions if we count link and zelda, who are obviously mike and will, and then I remember that this would mean 4 of them have to be dead for like. the entirety of the main plot
#and other issues#like anyway the way I'm thinking about this is max=urbosa lucas=revali dustin=daruk el=mipha#it wouldn't be a direct one to one thing obviously. for a variety of reasons#idk like it sounds good on instinct and then I start thinking about the specifics of it and get confused idk I wish I could solve problems#bc like. details related to each specific champion and whatnot. like. urbosa knew zelda's mom. that can't work#and then like. who would be the champion's successors then?#I think el in mipha's position would work pretty well actually which is making me want to fit#the rest of the party in the other roles but it doesn't work the same. well actually no lucas and dustin are fine#probably bc revali and daruk are each Just Some Guy#whereas urbosa and mipha are characters who have actual history with link and zelda#and therefore more details in the lore that you have to work around#ok the issue is mostly max as urbosa and then the things with the champion's successors#like. mipha has a little brother. el does not. and I mean it could be any family member theoretically but that's kind of confusing for el#IDKKK#I'm thinking about this too hard bc its not like I'm gonna do anything with it#I should think about the skyward sword loz au instead that one's easier#only questions you have to answer there are who gets to be groose and who's impa#I can't figure those out either#loz byler
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