#im used to doing all those things with my friends but

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

this is one of many many reasons why imo, the hunger games >>>>>> harry potter and even like. percy jackson. bc with harry potter it was like oh wow i’m famous in this secret world and because of Who My Parents Were and my Natural Born Heritage im secret-world rich and so so cool. and in percy jackson it’s a bit better like there’s a secret world and i was born kind of special even as far as the secret world goes but it doesn’t automatically make me cool it’s my actions, but also my actions wouldn’t be possible without specific powers i have because of being born kind of special, and also my friends :)

and the hunger games is like im special because i love my little sister so so much and my decision to basically kill myself to save her was practically instinctual. and then i continued to MAKE DECISIONS that resonated with people because i have compassion for people im supposed to be divided against and also a healthy amount of completely justified rage against the people who are supposed to be dividing us to continuously conquer us. also some guy is in love with me and because of that even the people who are the objects of my justified rage love me because i’m a juliet to them. but more importantly everyone else loves me Solely Because Of My Actions and i am a pragmatist who will use those actions to benefit my sister and loved ones and, ultimately, everyone in society even when it puts me in more danger than doing nothing. katniss is special not because of her parents or luck or even fate—bc she was not reaped, she volunteered—katniss is special because she gives a fuck about other people. that’s why the hunger games has always and will always stand out to me against other YA fiction, dystopian or not. even with the addition of the prequel, it’s implied that she’s related to lucy gray, sure, but she’s absolutely not her direct descendant and their relation means nothing because no one knows about it, except maybe coriolanus snow.. but it’s more of an easter egg for the reader than anything significant in the story. the hunger games existed during a time when Born Chosen One type YA fiction like this post describes was lowkey at an all-time high, and katniss as a character isn’t a Born Chosen One. but she IS a Chosen One, it’s just due to circumstances that The People Choose Her. she’s not simply delivered to them as this born saviour. she shows up and does what’s right (as much as she can without literally killing herself, but she repeatedly makes decisions that COULD kill her because it’s the right thing or best thing to do) and a movement that was struggling to be born is able to find its way because of her. she’s an inspiration, not a saviour. that’s one of my fav things about the hunger games tbh

rudolph the red nosed reindeer

[tired-truffle]

Even the Gods Cry For Us

A Viktorxfem!reader fic

Chapter Word Count: 7.4k

Epilogue

Tag list: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @potatointhedirt @dedicated2viktor

"When the rest of the world won't have you, I will. Let your worries and insecurities die against my lips. Remember, you are welcome here. You are always, always welcome here." - Maxwell Diawuoh

Masterlist

“Mommy,” the little girl said as her mother tucked her into bed. “Can you tell me the story of Miláček and Viktor tonight?”

Her mother smiled, seating herself on the side of the girl’s bed, her fingers trailing across her daughter’s cheek. “Of course, sweetheart.” 

The girl leaned into her mother’s touch, and she began. “A long, long time ago, the goddess Miláček was a mortal woman with extraordinary but uncontrollable magic. It is said that she came from another universe, and the strength of her love for Viktor drew her across space and time to be with him.” 

“How did she love him if she didn’t know him yet?” The little girl interrupted. 

Her mother chuckled. “Some things are just meant to be.” 

When her daughter remained silent, she continued. “Their love was a force that transcended words, pure and unbreakable. But as their love grew, Viktor got sick and his body began to weaken and wither away. Despite Miláček’s ability to see the future and her powerful magic, she was unable to stop his decline. In a fit of desperation, they turned to dark forces to ensure he would live. It cost them the life of a dear friend and left them unprepared for an attack that would start a war between the upper and lower cities - nearly claiming Miláček’s life. As she had been desperate to save him, so was he to save her. He brought her to a man renowned for his barbaric practices, and she lived at the cost of her sanity.”

“Fleeing together, they carved out a home in the far reaches of the lower city. With Viktor's newfound powers, they found some semblance of happiness as he used his abilities to heal those who sought his help. But the high price of harnessing dark forces to keep Viktor alive began to take its toll. He became corrupted by their power and if left unchecked, would have brought about the destruction of the world in his relentless pursuit of perfection.”

“Viktor had transformed into something unrecognizable; the Machine Herald. In this new form, he left Miláček behind, consumed by his obsession with ridding the world of choice and eradicating emotion to achieve a false sense of peace. But Miláček refused to give up on him. Though he was too far gone in this plane, she could absorb the arcane, and willingly gave up her life to save him in death.” 

“She became the goddess of the afterlife,” the little girl said smugly, pleased that she knew that key fact. 

“That she did.” Her mother stroked her hair. “With the arcane power that she absorbed, she was able to save Viktor’s soul and create an afterlife for all the other lost souls stuck in the nothingness that was death. One day, she’ll bring your soul to rest there as well.”

The girl frowned, disliking the idea of death at all, even if it was peaceful. “What about the bad people? When they die do they go there too?” 

Her mother nodded. “Even the bad people, everyone gets a chance to atone and rest, but only if they are willing.”

*~*~*

What had started as a small group had grown at an exponential rate. Souls started to gather at your sanctuary and you expanded, growing more land and homes for them to stay in. You felt their presence like a million pinpricks of light, each soul a unique constellation in your ever-expanding universe. Your consciousness stretched across the sanctuary, a vast network of awareness that allowed you to peer into every nook and cranny. You saw the newly arrived souls, wide-eyed and trembling, as they took their first steps into this strange new world. You heard the laughter of those who had found peace, their joy rippling through the air like a summer breeze.

But not all was serene. In the eastern quarter, a heated argument erupted between two souls over a trivial matter. You gently nudged their thoughts, soothing their anger and reminding them of the sanctuary's purpose. The conflict dissipated like morning mist under the sun.

At the borders, you sensed a dark, roiling presence - a soul so twisted by hatred and fear that it would poison everything around it. With a heavy heart, you reinforced the boundaries, denying it entry. Some souls were beyond your help, at least for now.

In the misty forests to the north, you felt a faint, confused energy. A lost soul, unable to find its way. You reached out, your essence forming a glowing path that only they could see, guiding them home.

Near the tranquil lake, an ancient soul flickered weakly, its sense of self barely a whisper. You enveloped it in warmth, offering a choice. The soul's relief was barefaced as it chose to let go, merging with the roots of an old willow tree. Its contentment hummed through the leaves, a soft lullaby for the younger souls nearby. There had been many souls who’d met a similar fate, to old to remember who they were, more than happy to become one with nature, to find peace.

It was as easy to you as breathing, all tasks able to be accomplished simultaneously without conscious thought. It allowed you to stay you, to focus on those you cared for most - your main consciousness remained with your loved ones. You didn't perceive them as pinpricks of light or constellations like the other souls, but as the flesh-and-blood people you remembered.

“Ah, Mila?” Vander’s gruff voice spoke up from behind you. You turned to him, his brows furrowed and his lips set in a thin line. “Do you have a minute?” 

It was strange to see him like this after weeks of swimming through his emotions and knowing him as a half-beast half-man creature. He was so…normal, in comparison. 

You nodded once and turned back to Sky, your game of tik-tac-toe half-finished in the dirt. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” 

Sky smiled at you, inclining her head. “You know where to find me.” 

You followed Vander to the shade of a towering silver tree, its leaves shimmering like liquid moonlight in the gentle breeze. The bark was smooth and cool to the touch, almost metallic in texture. As you leaned against it, you felt a faint hum of energy coursing through the trunk.

Vander cleared his throat, his weathered hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. The movement was so uncharacteristic of the usually stoic man that it had you feeling wary. But you waited, giving him time to gather his thoughts.

“I have no right to ask you this after everything you’ve done for us,” he started, his fists clenching at his sides, “but I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“This is about Silco, right?” You’d been wondering when he’d come up, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it too.

Vander nodded, jaw tight. “As much as I hate what he did to Zaun and…my daughters,” a sore spot for him, you could feel it rolling off him in waves of anger, “he never gave up on our dream; independence for our home. And he raised Powder. While I disagree with his methods, he treated her like one of his own when I couldn’t be there for her.” 

He exhaled sharply through his nose. “You’ve got enough on your plate and I don’t want to add more, but he’s just…floating out there. Knowing him he’s miserable and blaming himself for everything. We all made mistakes in the war with Piltover, and I blame myself for turning him away. I’d like to right that wrong, if you’d allow it.” 

“You’d like me to bring his soul here?” 

“I would be responsible for him,” Vander added, “like I said, you’re busy enough.”

“Well, there are no weapons here, or Shimmer, and even if there were it’s not like he could kill anybody,” you said consideringly. “Sure, why not? I’ll go find his soul and set you two up with a private space. You’ll be able to come and go as you please but he won’t until you feel he’s ready to be out among the rest of us. And if you need any help I’m here, I’m not as busy as I look.”

Vander’s face softened, hope filling his eyes as the tension eased from his shoulders. “Really? Just like that?”

You grinned, wide and all-knowing, your hair floating around you. “I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while. Everyone deserves a chance at redemption, if they want it. And I saw what he meant to you, how much your fight weighs on you. I want you to be able to rest knowing you did everything you could to reach him.” 

"Thank you," Vander said, his voice thick. "You don't know what this means to me."

You reached out, placing a hand on Vander's shoulder. For a fleeting second, you caught a glimpse of the tangled web of relationships that defined Vander's life - threads of gold linking him to his adopted children, a frayed but unbroken cord stretching towards Silco.

"I'll begin the search immediately," you assured him, and you weren’t one to break a promise.

Despite initial doubts, Silco's progress surpassed all expectations. In what would have been a few months in Runeterra time, he ventured out amongst the other souls, closely monitored by Vander. Each small step taken settled a long-tormented piece of Vander's soul, bringing a sense of peace that he never would have rested otherwise.

*~*~*

“Who else is with Miláček and Viktor?” The girl asked, though she already knew the answer. Whether she was delaying her bedtime or honestly interested in hearing the story remained to be seen. 

Her mother would indulge her, for now. “The friend they lost in their attempts to save Viktor’s life was a guiding force for Miláček, and she joined them in the afterlife.”

*~*~*

You found Sky lounging by a pond, her toes dipping into the water that sparkled like liquid starlight. As you approached, she looked up with a smile that could outshine the sun.

"There you are! I was starting to think you'd forgotten about our rendezvous," Sky teased, patting the soft grass beside her.

You settled down, your legs tucked beneath you. "As if I could ever forget you," you replied, bumping her shoulder playfully.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, watching as fish darted through the water, leaving trails of glowing bubbles behind them.

Sky leaned back on her elbows, her wild curls catching the light. "You know, I never thought the afterlife would be so...peaceful. I always imagined it'd be one big party, celebrate for eternity and all that."

You laughed. "Who says it can't be both?" With a wave of your hand, upbeat music began to play, seemingly emanating from nowhere and everywhere.

Sky's eyes widened in delight. "Show-off," she said, but her grin betrayed her amusement. She stood up, offering you her hand. "Care to dance, oh mighty goddess of the afterlife?"

You took her hand, allowing her to pull you to your feet. As you began to sway to the music, your feet barely touching the ground, you felt a surge of joy. It had been so long since you'd allowed yourself this simple pleasure, to just be in the moment with a friend.

"I missed this," you admitted. "I missed you."

Sky's grin softened. "I missed you too, Mila." She spun you around, your laughter mingling with the music. "But we're here now, together. And we've got all of eternity to catch up."

*~*~*

“There was also their friend who died ending the war. He and Viktor had been in conflict in life, but in death, they mended those bridges.” 

*~*~*

Once Jayce had been ready, weeks after they had settled, he’d joined Viktor for what must have been days as they hashed out their issues. While you didn’t listen in, you had an awareness of their conversation, there was only so much privacy you could give when their existence was tied to your consciousness. They spoke of the past, of the rift that had grown between them. Their words flowed like a stream, sometimes rushing and turbulent, other times slow and contemplative. All streams inevitably come to an end, and understanding bloomed between them like the wildflowers at their feet. You felt the shift in the air, the easing of tension, and you knew they would be alright.

Of course, Jayce jumped right back into being himself. As soon as he returned, arm slung around Viktor’s shoulders, he’d insisted you and Sky join them at a campfire. Though surprised that Viktor had agreed, you were remiss to miss an opportunity to spend time with your friends - like how it had been before everything went to shit.

You gathered around the crackling fire, its warm glow casting shifting shadows across your face. Jayce had insisted on building it himself, regaling you with tales of camping trips with his mother as he expertly stacked the logs. The flames licked at the evening sky, sending sparks spiralling upward to join the ever-present stars.

Viktor sat beside you, his legs stretched out before him. On your other side, Sky lounged on a bed of impossibly soft moss that seemed to have sprouted just for her comfort. Jayce stood nearby, proudly surveying his handiwork, before settling down to complete your circle.

"I must admit," Viktor said. "I never thought I'd find myself enjoying something as…primitive as a campfire. The Undercity had garbage bin fires, but I would hardly count that as an enjoyable experience."

Jayce chuckled, reaching for a long stick to poke at the embers. "There's something primal about fire, something that speaks to the soul."

"Or maybe," Sky interjected with a mischievous grin, "you just like playing with sticks and pretending to be useful."

You laughed as Jayce feigned offence, clutching his chest dramatically. The banter flowed easily between them, years of tension and misunderstanding washed away by the healing waters of the afterlife.

As the night deepened, you found yourself leaning against Viktor, his arm draped comfortably around your waist. Sky regaled you with increasingly outlandish stories of her adventures in the sanctuary, each tale more impossible than the last - you would be sure to check on the cavern filled with massive bats, no good could come of that. Jayce, not to be outdone, countered with his own exaggerated exploits.

This was what you had fought for, what you had sacrificed everything to create - a place where souls could find rest, where old wounds could heal, and where love could flourish unbound by the constraints of mortality.

As if sensing your thoughts, Viktor squeezed your hip gently. You turned to meet his gaze, seeing in his eyes the same contentment that filled your heart. No words were needed; in that look, you shared a lifetime of understanding.

*~*~*

“And then there was Miláček’s mother. Though her soul had been scattered to the far reaches of the universe when Viktor, in his conquest, burned her soul out of her body, Miláček never stopped looking.”

“Did she find her mommy?” The girl asked, clutching her sheets tight to her chest. To be without her mother was simply unthinkable. 

Her mother placed a tender kiss on her forehead. “She did.”

*~*~*

Not everything was perfect, getting used to your abilities had taken time and had caused many a headache as you learned how to shut out the thoughts and feelings of thousands of souls. Viktor was still healing, he had good days where he’d spend time with Jayce as they worked on numerous projects for your corner of the afterlife, or hours spent laying in the grass together, peacefully watching the clouds go by. There were also bad days where he’d shut himself inside, be unable to look you in the eyes, become withdrawn. But you were there for him, and you gave him space when that was what he needed instead. It would take him time to heal and you were more than willing to give that to him.

As soon as you’d gotten a grasp on your new powers, you’d set out in search of the pieces of Charlotte’s soul. You searched tirelessly, but Charlotte's soul fragments eluded you, too small and scattered to pinpoint. As you probed the furthest reaches of your domain, you stumbled upon a flickering presence - a tiny soul, lost and alone.

You drew closer, your ethereal form coalescing around the frightened soul. It was a child - a little girl with large, curious eyes and messy brown hair. Her essence quivered like a candle flame in the wind. You enveloped her gently, whispering soothing thoughts as you guided her back to the heart of your sanctuary.

As you materialized before her, the girl's eyes widened in wonder. "Who are you?" she asked, her hands held close to her chest.

You knelt down to her height, smiling softly to reassure her you were a friend. "I am the guardian of this place," you replied. "A sanctuary for lost souls. But you may call me Mila. It's wonderful to finally meet you, Elowen."

"You know my name," she whispered, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "Are you…are you an angel?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Not quite. But I'm here to help. I’m…friends with your mother."

Elowen's gaze darted around, taking in the misty forests and glimmering lakes of your realm. "You know my mama? Where is she? I tried to find her but she was gone and I was all alone. Is she mad at me?"

"No,” you said with a gentle resolution, “she is not mad at you. If she could be here she would, but that’s what I need your help with. I'm searching for her, Elowen. Her soul has been scattered."

The girl's eyes lit up, hope blooming across her face like the first rays of dawn. "Really? I can help? How?"

"Your connection to your mother is strong. It's a beacon that can guide me to her. Will you let me use that bond?"

Elowen nodded eagerly, her small frame practically vibrating with excitement. "Yes! Please, I want to find Mama."

As you linked your consciousness to hers, you felt a surge of emotion - love, longing, and a fierce determination that belied her young age. Through her eyes, you caught glimpses of Charlotte - a warm smile, gentle hands braiding Elowen's hair, the sound of laughter and quiet humming echoing through a lamp-lit kitchen.

These memories were like breadcrumbs, leading you down a path you couldn't see before. You sensed the first fragile thread of Charlotte's soul, humming with a familiar energy.

"I can feel her," you murmured, your form pulsing with renewed purpose. "I'm going to find your mother, I can sense her now, thanks to you."

"I'm coming with you!" she declared, her small hands balling into fists at her sides.

You shook your head, your essence rippling with concern. "It's too dangerous, Elowen. The journey will take me to the farthest reaches of this realm and beyond. You need to stay here where it's safe."

Tears welled up in Elowen's eyes, her lower lip trembling. "But she's my mama! I want to help!"

Your heart ached at her distress, but you couldn't risk her safety. An idea sparked in your mind, and you gently took her hand. "Come with me. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

You guided Elowen through the sanctuary, the ground beneath your feet shifting and changing with each step. As you approached a sunlit clearing, you spotted who you were looking for.

Isha sat cross-legged in the grass, her hair adorned with small blue flowers. Before her, a makeshift arena of twigs and leaves housed two large beetles, their shells glinting in the soft light.

"Isha," you called to her. The girl looked up, breaking into a wide grin when she saw you. "This is Elowen. Would you mind if she joined you for a while?"

Elowen clung to your side, her earlier bravado fading in the face of meeting someone new. Isha, however, was undeterred. She waved enthusiastically, beckoning you closer.

You gently nudged the hesitant girl forward. "Isha, can you show Elowen your game while I'm gone?"

Isha nodded vigorously, her smile wide and welcoming. She jumped to her feet and extended her hand to Elowen.

Elowen glanced back at you uncertainly, but you gave her an encouraging nod. "Go on," you urged. "I'll be back before you know it."

Elowen hesitated for a moment longer before Isha darted forward, grasping her hand. She tugged Elowen towards the makeshift arena, already demonstrating the rules of her bug tournament.

As you watched Elowen's reluctance melt away, replaced by curiosity and the beginnings of a smile, you knew she was in good hands. With a final glance at the two girls, now huddled over the beetle arena, you had one more stop before you set off on your quest.

You found Viktor in a secluded glade, reclining against a gnarled oak tree with his eyes closed. You crept forward, barely disturbing the grass beneath you. With a mischievous grin, you prepared to materialize and surprise him.

But as you slipped into your corporeal form and reached for his shoulders, Viktor's eyes fluttered open. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. "I knew you were there," he said, warm with affection.

You pouted, your planned surprise foiled. "How? I was being so sneaky."

Viktor chuckled, reaching up to cup your cheeks. "Your presence is unmistakable, miláčku. I could never miss it."

He pulled you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You melted into him, giggling against his mouth. You could kiss him a thousand times and never tire of it. But as you pulled away, the reminder of your impending journey settled over you like a heavy woollen cloak.

"I found Elowen, and I used her connection to her mother to feel Charlotte's soul," you said, watching him carefully for his reaction. "I'm going to find her, to bring her back."

Viktor's body tensed, his eyes clouding with a familiar guilt. You took his hand, squeezing it gently. "Come with me. This is your chance to make things right."

He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I…I don't know if I can face her after what I did."

You held his chin in your fingers, lifting his face to meet your eyes. "Viktor, you've carried this burden for so long. Charlotte wouldn't want that. She'd want you to help her come home."

He took a shaky breath, squeezing your hand. "You're right," he said softly. "I owe it to her to try. To face the consequences of my actions."

"We'll do this together," you promised. "Every step of the way."

As you prepared to set off, Viktor's determination seemed to grow. He straightened his back, his chin lifting with resolve. You didn’t necessarily need him to go with you, you would be fine on your own, but he needed it - needed to feel part of the solution so that his guilt would stop eating him alive.

You and Viktor set off on your journey, your bodies shifting to their ethereal forms. Viktor glowed with the light blue of your magic, and you grew until he became an orb in the palm of your hand. Your skin melded with the darkness of space, your hair becoming the stars themselves.

As you traversed the far corners of the celestial landscape, you encountered wonders beyond imagination. Nebulae bloomed like tropical flowers, their swirling gases glittering with hues of violet, emerald, and gold. You passed through the heart of a dying star, its final pulses of energy washing over you in waves of a bittersweet goodbye. Comets streaked by, leaving trails of fire that scorched your fingertips.

You followed the tenuous threads of Charlotte's soul, each fragment a faint beacon calling out across the vastness of space. You found the first nestled in the core of a nascent planet, reaching through rock and debris to pull the shard free.

“It's…beautiful,” Viktor spoke for the first time since leaving the sanctuary, full of awe and reverence.

You nodded, carefully transferring the fragment to him. "Hold onto it for me. We'll need to gather them all."

Viktor's glowing form pulsed in surprise as the shard rested at his centre. "Are you positive I should be the one to carry them? I am the reason she is like this in the first place."

You pulled his form up to your lips, placing a light kiss against the glowing light of his soul. "I trust you, Viktor. Completely."

He didn't speak, but his grip on the soul shard tightened ever so slightly, a silent promise to guard it with his life.

You ventured on, collecting more fragments from the most unlikely of places. One shard spun within a storm of glittering sand, another floated in a pool on a desert planet.

Finally, after what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, you collected the final shard from the corona of a distant sun. As Viktor carefully added it to the collection he carried, the shards began to resonate, humming with renewed energy.

Exhausted but triumphant, you returned to the sanctuary, shrinking down to a more manageable size. Viktor's orb expanded, taking on his familiar shape once more. The shards of Charlotte's soul hovered between you, pulsing with a soft, iridescent light in the shaded glade.

With reverent care, you gathered the fragments in your hands. They felt warm, almost alive, as if they recognized your touch. You closed your eyes, focusing your energy on knitting the pieces back together. The shards trembled, edges reaching out tentatively towards one another like shy dancers at a ball.

But something was wrong. The fragments refused to fully merge, repelling each other at the last moment like misaligned magnets. You furrowed your brow, redoubling your efforts. Sweat beaded on your forehead as you poured more power into the process, willing the soul to become whole again.

The shards spun faster. For a heart-stopping moment, you thought you'd succeeded. But then, with a sound like shattering glass, they flew apart. You stumbled back, chest heaving, as the fragments settled into a loose orbit around you.

"Damn it," you grumbled, frustrated beyond measure. To have gotten her back at long last only to fail at the final step…

You tried again, and again, each attempt more forceful than the last. But no matter how much energy you expended, the result was always the same - a brief flicker of hope, followed by bitter disappointment that coated the back of your tongue like bile.

Viktor watched silently, his face twisted with concern. As you slumped to the ground after your latest failed attempt, he knelt beside you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Perhaps," he said hesitantly, "there's something we're missing. A catalyst of sorts."

You looked up at him, curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"

Viktor's brow furrowed in thought. "The soul fragments, they're like puzzle pieces without a picture to guide them. They've forgotten how they fit together." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "What if they need something to remind them of their true form? Something to…glue the broken pieces back together?"

You pondered his words, your mind racing through possibilities. "Elowen," you breathed, the realization striking you like a bolt of lightning. "Of course! Her daughter - the strongest connection to who Charlotte truly is."

You jumped to your feet. "Stay here with the soul fragments," you instructed Viktor. "I'll go get Elowen."

You found the girl where you'd left her, still playing with Isha by the beetle arena. Her laughter rang out across the clearing, a sound of pure, uncomplicated joy.

You called out to Elowen as you made your way over, your voice carrying on the light breeze. She looked up from the beetle arena and a smile spread across her face, brighter than the midday sun as she scrambled to her feet.

Isha's face fell, her lower lip jutting out in a pout. You knelt beside her. "Don't worry, Isha," you said as soft as dandelion fluff. "I promise I'll bring Elowen back soon. You two can finish your tournament then."

Isha perked up at your words, her smile returning. She nodded eagerly, already planning new games for when Elowen returned.

You turned to Elowen. "I found your mom," you said, watching as hope bloomed in her eyes. "But she needs your help to put her back together."

Confusion wrinkled Elowen's forehead, her head tilting to the side like a curious sparrow. "Put her back together?" she asked.

You nodded, offering her your hand. "It's a bit complicated, but I know you can do it. Are you ready to see her?"

Elowen's small hand slipped into yours, her grip firm and resolute. "I'm ready," she declared, chin lifted high.

You led her back through the sanctuary, the trees whispering secrets as you passed, their leaves rustling in a language only they understood. Your realm responded to you, an extension of your soul that had grown its consciousness.

As you approached the glade where Viktor waited, Elowen tensed beside you. Her eyes locked onto the unfamiliar figure, wariness replacing her earlier excitement.

"It's alright," you soothed, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "This is Viktor. He's a friend who's been helping me find your mom."

Viktor stood frozen, his soul flickering with a storm of emotions only you could see. Guilt, hope, and fear swirled within him. His gaze locked onto Elowen, his past sins settling heavily upon his shoulders.

To Viktor, Elowen was a living reminder of what he had stolen - a child robbed of her mother because of his actions. The pain in his eyes was almost tangible, a counterpoint to the soft, pulsing light of Charlotte's soul fragments that spun beside him.

Elowen looked between you and Viktor as she tried to make sense of the stranger who you’d introduced as a friend. "Hello," she said cautiously, looking to you for approval. You smiled, nodding your encouragement.

Viktor swallowed hard and then inclined his head in greeting. "Hello, Elowen. It’s a pleasure to meet you."

You guided Elowen closer, watching as her eyes widened in wonder at the sight of the glowing shards. But before you could explain what they were, Elowen gasped, her small hands reaching out towards the fragments. "Mama!" she cried, tears welling up in her eyes. The soul pieces pulsed brighter at her exclamation, as if responding to her cry.

Your heart clenched at the raw longing in Elowen's voice. You placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention. "Elowen," you said softly, "your mama needs your help. She needs to be reminded of who she is." You knelt beside her, your eyes level with hers. "Can you tell us stories about her? About the times you spent together? It will help bring her back."

Elowen nodded eagerly, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "Mama used to sing to me every night. Even when we couldn’t make dinner, she'd hold me close and hum my favourite songs."

As she spoke, the shards pulsed brighter, their movements becoming more coordinated. You nodded encouragingly, and Elowen continued.

She told of Charlotte working long hours in the factories, coming home with hands stained black from machine oil but still finding the energy to play hide-and-seek in their tiny one-room apartment. Of weeds they kept in plant boxes on the window sill, the only things that would grow in the toxic air.

She recounted how Charlotte would skip meals, claiming she wasn't hungry so that Elowen could have a little more, even though Elowen knew better. How she'd fashion dolls out of scraps of fabric and buttons, bringing joy from cast-off remnants.

With each story, the soul fragments drew closer, their light growing more intense. Your magic guided them, urged them to form, but it was Elowen who sealed them together.

"And then," Elowen said, her eyes shining, "there was the day Mama found that old book of fairy tales. She'd read me a different story every night. She did all the voices, even the scary ones!"

At those words, the fragments suddenly rushed together, merging in a blinding flash of light. You shielded your eyes, heart pounding in your throat.

As the glow faded, you saw her - Charlotte - whole and radiant, her form shimmering into solidity, her arm returned, looking younger than you’d ever known her. Her auburn hair fell in waves to her shoulders, matching Elowen’s. Her eyes fluttered open, confusion giving way to wonder as she took in her surroundings.

Then her gaze fell on Elowen.

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat, her hands flying to her mouth. "Elowen?" she whispered, disbelief and hope warring in her voice. "My baby?"

Elowen let out a cry of pure joy, launching herself into her mother's arms. "Mama!"

Charlotte caught her daughter, wrapping her in a tight hug. Tears streamed down her face as she buried her nose into Elowen's hair, breathing in the scent of her child. "Oh, my sweet girl," she sobbed, rocking gently. "My precious, precious girl."

A lump formed in your throat as you witnessed the reunion, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. You stood behind Charlotte, your magic fading to simmer in the background.

Charlotte pulled back slightly, her hands cupping Elowen's face. "How is this possible?" she asked. "You’re just the same as I remember, my love. How long has it been?"

Elowen pointed behind Charlotte and the older woman turned, her gaze falling on you. Your breath hitched, a tangle of emotions too complex to pull apart rendering you speechless. You opened your mouth, but no words came out - just a choked sob of relief.

"Oh, you wonderful, silly girl," Charlotte said, thick with gratitude. "Get over here."

She reached out, drawing you into the hug. You fell into it willingly as you joined the tangle of arms and tears. Charlotte's grip was strong, anchoring you as surely as it did Elowen.

"Thank you," Charlotte whispered, her words muffled against your shoulder. "Thank you for bringing my Elowen back to me. For bringing me back to her."

You couldn't speak, too overwhelmed for words. Instead, you poured your feelings into the hug, your essence wrapping around mother and daughter like a protective shield.

As you held each other, time seemed to lose all meaning. It could have been minutes or hours before Charlotte finally loosened her grip, pulling back just enough to look at you and Elowen properly. Her eyes shone with tears, but her smile was brilliant.

"Look at you," she said. "You've changed so much, my dear. You're radiant." Her fingers traced the starlight in your hair, sending tiny sparks dancing across your skin. "It's like you've become part of the universe itself."

You smiled, an ache blooming in your chest. "I've missed you so much, Charlotte," you whispered, unable to bring yourself to speak any louder.

Charlotte's eyes crinkled with understanding. "We have time now," she assured you, her hand squeezing yours gently as she gazed adoringly at the little girl still clinging to her chest. "All the time in the world."

A flicker of movement caught your eye, and you turned, searching for Viktor. But the spot where he had stood was empty. Your heart sank, a frown tugging at your lips. After everything, had he run away?

Charlotte followed your gaze, her eyes softening. "Ah," she said quietly. "He needs time, I think. This can't be easy for him."

You blinked in surprise, turning back to Charlotte. "You know?"

She nodded, a forlorn smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I remember bits and pieces. Enough to understand." She squeezed your hand again. "Tell him I'm here, when he's ready to talk. There's forgiveness to be found, if he's willing to seek it."

Relief washed over you. “Thank you.” you smiled softly. "I will."

*~*~*

Her mother glanced at the clock, it was well after her daughter should have gone to sleep. But what was the harm in indulging her curiosity just this once? “Did you know that she’s also the Goddess of Reunions?”

The little girl's eyes widened at this new piece of information. “She is?”

“She reunites souls after death who’d known each other in life. Mothers and daughters, friends, sisters, everyone with a connection are guided to each other.”

*~*~*

You kept a watchful eye on the souls entering your realm, always alert for familiar presences. Time had continued, and you had no idea how long it had been since you lived, but when you felt a distinctive energy crackling at the edges of your consciousness - chaotic, vibrant, and unmistakably Jinx - you reached out, gently guiding her towards the sanctuary.

As Jinx materialized, you noticed the tension in her shoulders, and the wariness in her eyes. She scanned her surroundings, fingers twitching as if reaching for weapons that were no longer there.

"Welcome, Jinx," you said, shimmering into view before her. "You're safe here."

Jinx's gaze snapped to you, recognition dawning in her eyes. "Mila? That glowy lady who blew herself up for the metal fortune cookie?" Is that how people remembered you? "What is this place? Where's-"

But before she could finish her question, a blur of motion caught your attention. Isha came bounding across the meadow, her face alight with joy. She skidded to a stop in front of Jinx, her hands moving in a flurry of excited gestures.

Jinx's eyes widened, her lips parting in disbelief. For a moment, she stood frozen, her gaze locked onto Isha's beaming face. Then, with a choked sob, Jinx fell to her knees, her arms wrapping around Isha and pulling her in for a rib-cracking hug.

"You're here," Jinx whispered, her voice cracking. "You're really here."

Isha nodded vigorously, her small hands patting Jinx's back. You felt a surge of emotion from Jinx - a tidal wave of grief, guilt, and overwhelming relief that pulled at her heart like a fishing hook. Her body shook with silent sobs as she clung to Isha, her face buried in the girl's wild hair - twin braids and died blue.

You stood back, giving them space.

A deep voice called out from behind you, rich and thick as he swallowed his hope-tinged sorrow. "Powder."

Jinx stilled, her body going rigid. Slowly, she turned, her eyes locking onto the imposing figure of Vander as he approached. Time seemed to stand still as they regarded each other, years of pain and regret hanging heavy between them.

Then, with a choked sob, Jinx - arms still wrapped tight around Isha - launched herself against Vander’s chest, crushing the little girl between them, though she didn’t seem to mind. He caught her easily, enveloping her in a bear hug that lifted her off her feet. Jinx clung to him, her face buried in his chest as her shoulders shook with silent tears.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her voice muffled. "I'm so sorry."

Vander's large hand cradled the back of her head, his eyes glistening. "Shh, it's alright," he soothed. "You're home now, Powder. You're home."

*~*~*

The little girl yawned, her eyelids fluttering as she fought to stay awake. “She has Viktor and all her friends, do you think she’s happy now?” 

“Yes,” her mother replied, a knowing smile on her lips. “I believe she is.”

Silence filled the small room, the nightlight casting stars on the ceiling. Just as her mother thought her asleep, shifting to stand, the girl asked one more question.

“Do goddesses sleep?”

Her mother paused, having been unprepared to provide that answer. “Everyone sleeps eventually,” she said. “Even curious little girls.”

The girl giggled, her mother placing one last kiss on her forehead before wishing her a goodnight, and departing from her room.

*~*~*

You stood atop a grassy hill, your hand clasped in Viktor's as you gazed out over the ever-expanding sanctuary. The sky above shimmered with countless stars, each one a soul finding peace in your realm.

"It's time, isn't it?" Viktor asked softly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand.

You nodded, a lump forming in your throat. "Yes, I think it is."

For eons, you had watched over the souls in your care, guiding them, comforting them, reuniting them with loved ones. You had witnessed countless joys and sorrows, rebirths and un-deaths, forgiveness and redemption. Everyone else had become one with the land, only you and Viktor remained. Now, a bone-deep weariness had settled into your soul. The weight of eternity pressed down on you, and you knew in the depths of your soul, it was time to rest.

Viktor squeezed your hand, his eyes reflecting the starlight above. "One last day," he said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Let's make it count."

You spent the day wandering through your realm, revisiting all the places that held special meaning for you both. You walked beneath the cascading light of the Aurora Falls, your laughter echoing off the clear waters. You ate your favourite lunches in the Whispering Woods, where the trees sang ancient melodies as you passed.

As the day wore on, you found yourselves in the Meadow of Memories. Flowers of every colour stretched as far as the eye could see, each bloom holding the essence of a cherished moment. You and Viktor lay side by side in the soft grass, watching as the petals released glowing specks that danced on the breeze. Your sparks spun around them, carrying whispers of laughter, tears, and everything in between.

Viktor propped himself up on one elbow, his amber eyes searching yours. "Do you have any regrets?"

You reached up, cupping his cheek in your palm. How many times had he asked you this? And how many times had you given him the same answer?

"Not a single one."

As twilight fell, you followed a narrow path that wound its way to a cliff face at the very edge of your realm. You gazed out at the vast expanse of the universe, an empty sea where there had once been countless souls. Now, they were all housed within your sanctuary.

You turned to Viktor, drinking in the sight of him one last time - the angular lines of his jaw, the warmth in his amber eyes, the gentle smile that had never ceased to make your heart flutter through countless ages.

"Are you ready?" you asked, almost afraid, but with Viktor, that feeling washed away under his devotion.

Viktor nodded, pulling you close. "When I’m with you? Always."

You leaned in, your lips meeting Viktor's in a kiss that felt both familiar and thrillingly new. His arms encircled you, pulling you flush against him as the kiss deepened. It was every moment of joy, every hardship overcome, every whispered promise and tender touch shared over endless lifetimes.

Viktor's hand cupped the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your starlit hair. You felt the gentle scrape of his nails on your scalp, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours. Time seemed to slow, each second stretching into eternity as you lost yourself in the feeling of him.

Your bodies began to shimmer, intertwining like threads of starlight. The boundaries between you blurred, two souls merging into one radiant being.

Together, you stepped off the cliff's edge. But instead of falling, you floated, your combined energy spreading outward like ripples in a cosmic pond. Your consciousness expanded, suffusing every blade of grass, every drop of water, every piece of starlight in your sanctuary.

You became the whisper of wind, the crash of waves against the shores. You were the heat of the eternal sun and the cool glow of the ever-present moon. Every flower in the Meadow of Memories held a fragment of your shared love, every star in the sky a spark of your combined spirit.

As your energies settled into the fabric of the realm, you felt a profound sense of peace wash over you. The weight of godhood lifted, replaced by the simple joy of existence. You were everywhere and nowhere, eternally present yet finally at rest.

A small part of your consciousness lingered, a gentle guardian watching over the souls in your care. You felt their joys and sorrows, their triumphs and struggles, but no longer as separate entities. They were a part of you now, and you a part of them.

You and Viktor found your final peace, forever entwined in the sanctuary you had created. Your love story had become legend, whispered by the winds and sung by the stars, a tale of the power of forgiveness, redemption, and a love that transcended life, death, and eternity itself.

But most important of all, you were together, always and forever, and nothing could pull you apart.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope this answered any lingering questions <3

I debated with giving them a Janet and Jason (from the Good Place) ending, but that was too sad, even for me :')

[sturnslutz]

heres my opinion on the whole matt situation. (this is coming from a certified matt lover but im not afraid to talk ab something someone did, even if i love them.)

some of you guys are completely over exaggerating what happened.

nick knew that it happened, and it was an accident. if it really affected him that much, he wouldnt have kept even just the actual slap in the video, and then the full clip in the insta dump.

calling matt an “abuser” and all these horrible things about him, is absolute disgusting and uncalled for. if you watch the triplets/have watched them before you obviously can remember numerous times nick or chris have hit, fought, cursed out, yelled at, the other. and its normal sibling things.

but the second matt is seemed as “disrespectful” you guys go out of your way to accuse him of having anger issues or something against his brothers.

i obviously dont know matt, or the triplets personally, but i think if them fighting really affected them so much, they wouldn’t put those moments in the videos.

i will say, matt hitting nick so roughly might’ve been a bit of an over exaggeration, and i can say that as a dramatic person. i know that after i do something which might’ve been dramatic, ill understand that.

again, i dont know matt personally. so, he might have some things going on, and i, nor any of us, will actually know unless he publicly announces it, which i think is highly unlikely.

many of you guys are saying how “i would never do that to any of my siblings!” thats your family, and your dynamics. there are other families, such as mine and many of my friends, who “fight” or hit each other and we do not take it personally.

if your family does, cool. thats your family. but it seems like the sturniolos’ family was grown up by learning to be accepting and free to express their emotions and feelings, in one way or another.

sure, nick might’ve been upset after matt had did that, but he seemed quickly fine after a bit. thats how it works, something happens, we move on. you dont have to agree with me, as this is my opinion.

you also can have your own opinion on what matt did, but something we should all understand is that calling matt such derogatory names and insults, is completely out of line.

thank you for reading, my opinion is my opinion, and yours is yours. please be respectful of others’ opinions.

[kamaela]

a year of fandom in recs

cutie pie @garagepaperback tagged me in a 2024 fandom wrap up post and so yeah, i'll hop on the sentimental train. i've been inspired by so many things this year and i shall do my best to honour them in the rambling list below!

--

having previously been an avid lurker, i've thoroughly enjoyed making friends with some truly inspiring people in this fandom. without a doubt this has been a bright, bright spot on my year and im so grateful! you're all so wonderful and i love you and hope you know that.

@kk1smet has been a source of joy and inspiration from the start. my first ever fic (Got Me Started) was inspired by their prompts, and then my first ever fest fic (Mirror, Me) was sparked by their stunning art. THEN they honoured me with my first ever fanart for my fic (To Be Punished). im so blessed to call them a friend!

i can draw a straight line from every single word i've posted on ao3 to the fanworks that inspired them. ive read/seen sooo many wonderful things this year and it's impossible for me to name them all. ive picked out a few below the cut that are directly responsible for lighting a fire in me so strong i had to write that shit down. if you haven't already, please give some of these fanworks a go, they're all top notch.

+ @yiiiiiiiikes25 wrote cruising altitude from the raven cycle fandom and it fucking rocked my world. i am telling you right now, i have never read anything like it. it is an absolute masterclass in craft. every single word is thoughtful and precise. i thought i knew what voice and diction and pov were and how they can be used to tell the story you want to tell but really, i had no idea. yikes has this way of pulling you so deeply into a characters pov that its honestly disorienting to come out of. i fell in love with these random boys from a fandom i'd never read nor cared for, and i keep going back. i don't care if you are drarry monogamous, if you want to experience some of the best this dumb hobby we're all addicted to has to offer, i implore you, go read cruising altitude. go. GO. and then go read the rest of yikes catalogue bc ofc they also do drarry impeccably.

+ @garagepaperback i read this heaven of mud and haven't been the same since. then i read javelin and ive been permanently altered once more. not only is garage directly responsible for exes becoming my all time favourite trope, but the way they explore the deep, long-lasting effects of trauma (in these and all your other fics) is second to none! its incredibly beautiful and impactful and has left such as lasting impression on me. and all that is wrapped up in some of the most poetic and stunning prose ive ever had the pleasure of reading?!?!! get out of here (but also please dont i value our friendship dearly)

+ @mintawasalreadytaken i read All I Want For Kwithmath and then i went on a tear and read most of their Dead Drarry: Do Not Eat series and honestly had the BEST TIME. they write some of the greatest toxic, kinky, fucked up drarry, but somehow make it so i really fucking care about these two idiots, and want the best for them?? minta is so good at hooking you right from the top and then pounding those hooks in deeper and deeper. the end result is that i now cradle toxic drarry in my hands and wont ever let them go (and sometimes I even try writing them)

+ @eleadore's as the plant that never blooms and everything i could ever want helped to shape and sand the edges of the drarry dynamic i love and want to write! el writes some of the hottest, most rewarding, prickly to tender drarry out here. pls run don't walk.

+ @faiell and i shared our drarry fic debuts on ao3 this year and their fic, Purple, absolutely blew me out of the water. it's expertly written, hot as fuck, contains the shifting power dynamics that are at the core of what i love about drarry, and has SUCH A satisfying ending. i was grinning and cackling for about 3-4 business days after reading. (also peep their tumblr to scream at their art) fai, i've said it before and ill say it again, i'll follow you into fire, i really will.

this post is getting far far too long but i cannot end it without also mentioning some (not exhaustive) of the STAND OUT creators i've had the pleasure of experiencing for the first time this year. i'll include a rec (all drarry unless stated otherwise) + whatever unhinged drivel i put in my bookmark for each but it goes without saying that the talent runs deep and id rec multiple creations from these guys if this post wasn't already novel length.

@citrusses' Our Objective Remains Unchanged: THE drarry muggle au. reread a 100x material

@oknowkiss' draco malfoy's substitute murder service: this made me laugh out loud at several points and its only 10k!!!! also draco is simply lovely, i love him so so so so very much i want to be his friend and just listen to him talk and be insane. this whole thing is thoroughly enjoyable.

@mono-chromia's Red Wine Supernova: everything about this is wonderful, the relationship development, the sex, the writing. you'll want draco to step on your face after reading.

@putridpommes' [ART] Step by step (NSFW): sub harry. draco stepping on face. neon and sweat. what more do you need.

Helenish's A Soft Spot For Lost Causes (draco/ron): trauma treated kinda unserious but still seriously. gorgeous dialogue.

wild (orphaned): Okay so the banter/dialogue is unmatched, the relationship development bw draco and harry is soooo realistic and so delicious. a study on learning about yourself what it means to forgive

corvuscrowned's An Emerald In The Sky: stretched and pulled taut by this story, perfect longing/pining/yearning, heartbreaking and beautiful

peu_a_peu's The Superfluous Man: utterly delightful, hilarious, i want to stay in the feeling this fic gave me forever and ever. never not thinking about flustered yet domestic draco, endless quotes. An mpreg?? WHAT?? it's peu.

@stratigraphywrites' Untouched: this is delicious!!!! the push and pull between draco and harry is expert. extremely extremely hot

@lemonlimelea's we'll start anew: yeah this is wayyyy stunning, gorg writing, long time span capturing all different facets of harry and draco's relationship

@hephaestiions' It's You: one of those ones that leaves you panting and scratching the walls, crying for more.

okay if you read all this, thank you i love you. happy new year!

No pressure tagging any of the above plus @dryrsheet @its-the-allure @phoenixortheflame @smehur. would love to read about your year in review!

[josos24816]

I think the trend ppl find themselves clueing into unconsciously is that the marker "woman" is just so grossly broad as to be meaningless. it doesn't say anything about who u are, what u like or dislike, what causes u support, how u engage with or perceive the world. it doesn't say anything about your relationship to your own sex, sexuality, gender, nothing. what does it actually meaningfully tell you about a person?

I think it’s an unfair demand to ask “woman” to convey that amount of information. It’s a rather rigorous demand to place on any label that someone uses. Labels mean different things to different people — that doesn’t make them meaningless, and the fact that yours and my labels don’t necessarily agree doesn’t make their usefulness zero.

which is that im not sure if a "taxonomic" understanding of gender is actually one which can account for such things as multigender ppl or trans ppl who change their gender.

I’m sorry, I’ve tried writing a response to this point, and I don’t know how. I’ve realized I don’t really understand what even @tpwrtrmnky meant by the “taxonomic” category of woman.

the moment one decides to categorize themself as x, that is the moment of gender transition, insofar as "gender-transition" means something like "linguistic reclassification". or at least that element of it, but it is kinda about the linguistic use-case

Agree 100%. At the end of it all, I think that’s largely what we are playing with when talking about gender and other “identity” terms. It’s a linguistic game*, where language as a pointer to a concept — even (especially) multiple things at once — is what allows each category to be loosely defined.

At the same time, because words are just pointers to ideas, they exist at multiple levels of reality: what it means to you, what it means to your social circle, and what it means societally, are often different. They also have different demands. (E.g. You could easily define a new word and use it for yourself. With some effort, you might get some friends using it. But it’s a different story entirely to get gen-z–level adoption, where you can expect strangers to understand your meaning (almost) perfectly.) The more compatible your labels are with the broader social reality, the less friction you’ll have.

Which is why even if we claim that gender is about self-expression of identity, that’s kinda just at the local level? Because it also has elements in how others perceive you, which is why the claim to being a man/woman/(whatever category) has less friction if you also present in ways that are congruent with what others expect of those categories.

It also means that if you change your gender every day, you can believe that you are 100% that gender, but others (including me) might settle on believing that you are somewhere in-between, because that is a lower-friction conception of you than the one where I have to re-draw my mental representations every day. And we don’t have to agree 100%. (Although you might prefer it if I do, if only because your internal conception of identity is in constant negotiation with the higher levels of social reality.)

*Btw I’m using the word “game,” but I don’t mean to imply it’s any less serious. I just mean that linguistics is an area where multiple individuals interact together, so we can’t ignore the interactions and their effects.

does this also necessarily mean that every time you doubt your x-ness, your x-hood, you actually are y again for a moment?

Sticking with your linguistics theory, it seems like this last question is a return to the more rigorous binary. (Or, even if you have more than 2 categories, it seems you’re still making discrete “bins”.) Discrete just doesn’t work well to conceptualize something as fluid as language.

We switch between linguistic representations all the time, often without realizing it, and rarely claiming that only one is the “true” representation. If you apply this approach to your hypothetical scenario, with gender as a continuum, it becomes something closer to a probability distribution. Just don’t collapse things into discrete “bins” and I think the paradox resolves itself.

"Trans women are actually women for real, not in a metaphorical sense, not in a "anyone can be anything" sense, but genuinely actually make more taxonomic sense to classify in the category of women than any other group you could classify them in" is a position you'll find is pretty radical even in queer spaces

[alyssaswrld999]

See You Again - JJ Maybank x reader

Authors Note: (I cried making this)

Pov: Y/n keeps seeing jj after his death. She hasn't been the same sense. Her brother John B and the others are worried about her. Even Rafe Cameron is worried about her

It's been a long day without you my friend...

Mine and John B's dad used to tell us stories. Some were happy and some were sad. Most of the stories were about a sailor and his adventures out in the sea. Me and John B would spend hours on the boat pretending to just be like that sailor.

Those were the good times and those memories will always be in my heart and in my soul. Our dad helped us be good. But the people that have helped me the most with finding out who I am is John B and the rest of the pogues. Especially the one and only JJ Maybank.

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..

After our dad went missing we weren't the same for awhile. Our Uncle was off doing his own thing but mostly MIA. Our mom left when we were younger and haven't seen her since. So it was just me and John B spending time with our friends.

To be honest life seemed so much better and easier with being around my brother and our friends. It was more fun and uplifting even through the bad stuff. Sure we all had our disagreements and our fights but at the end of the day we all made up and things were okay again.

We've come a long way from where we began..

Ever since that summer after our dad went missing we have come a long way. With the treasure hunt for the gold and the cross. Finding and meeting new friends. Surviving together and losing people.

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..

Its been a struggle for the most of the journey. Having all this new stuff tower over us and having to fight through it. But we keep fighting every second of the way.

When I see you again..

There have been plenty memories running through my mind lately. My whole mind keeps spinning and it's hard to focus on the stuff around me. It's like my mind keeps trapping me in a world of just my memories and its hard to get out of my own head.

Damn who knew all the planes we flew..

"Y/n?" I heard someone say. I look up and seen John B standing in front of me. "Hmm?" I asked. John B looked at me concerned and I don't blame him.

"You okay? You seem like your in a daze" John B said. I shake my head and force a smile. "Yeah im good JB" I said walking past him.

Good things we been through..

As I walk past him I kept having these thoughts circle around my brain. As if someone was spinning a globe of the earth around like a ball. I kept having a headache at how quickly I was thinking and I stopped walking.

That I'd be standing right here talking to you..

All of a sudden I'm day dreaming again. I could move but in reality I wasn't moving. I was walking down the dock back home. I kept walking and then I seen someone standing there. It was jj..

Bout another path..

"Hey y/n" jj said turning towards me. I smile and walk towards him. "Hey jj" I said standing next to him. "Do you wanna go fishing later? Today seems like the perfect day" jj asked. I nod my head and look over at jj. "Yeah im down. And your right it does seem like a perfect day for fishing."

I know we loved to hit the road and laugh..

I look out at the water and smiled. The air felt nice and the sun was shining. It was a perfect normal summer day.

But something told me that it wouldn't last..

I come back to reality and realized it was just a memory. I sighed and rubbed my face. I was clearly exhausted and needed to get some sleep. I lay down next to the fire and try to go to sleep.

Had to switch up..

I sighed as I turned to get comfortable and then I closed my eyes. I heard the fire crackling and it sounded peaceful.

Look at things different see the bigger picture..

I didn't know when I exactly fell asleep but I knew I was dreaming. Next thing I see is me and the others back home like it was just any other day.

Kiara was on the couch in the house scrolling on her phone. Pope and Cleo were in the kitchen cooking food. But Sarah, John B, and JJ weren't in the same room.

Those were the days hard work forever pays..

I walk outside and onto the back porch. The breeze felt nice and I kept walking towards our bait shop. As I enter the shop I seen Sarah organizing the shelves. "Hey Sarah" I said sitting on the counter. Sarah turned towards me and smiled. "Hey Y/n. If your looking for John B or jj they are on the boat" Sarah said as she went back to organizing the shelves.

I nodded my head and turn to look out at the boat. I seen John B and JJ drinking some beer. I smiled and laughed. "Of course they are drinking beer. Should have known" I mumbled and make my way towards the boat.

Now I see you in a better place..

I walk down the ramp and climb onto the boat. "Hey you two" I said looking at John B and JJ. They both look at me and smile. "Hey y/n come grab a beer" jj said. I smile as John B hands me a beer and I open it. I sit down and take a sip.

How could we not talk about family..

"This is the life huh" I ask JJ. JJ looks at me and nods his head as he sips his beer. "This is the life" jj said.

When family's all that we got..

I wake up from my dream and I sit up. It was still dark and the fire was still going. I sighed and look to see everyone asleep. I get up quietly and go make my way to use the bathroom.

As I continue walking away from the little camp site we made I kept having jj run through my mind.

Everything i went through you were standing there by my side..

JJ was always there for me and John B. Through all the good and the bad. JJ was always around before Kie and Pope showed up. He was my brothers best friend since the 3rd grade.

And now your gonna be with me for the last ride..

Even though jj was John B's best friend he was mine too. Me and jj had a lot of things in common. And he was easier to talk to about certain things I couldn't with John B. He understood how I felt about certain things and cared for everyone.

It's been a long day without you my friend..

"You know if you keep walking your gonna get lost" I heard a voice say. I stop and slowly turn around. It was jj standing there looking at me with his arms crossed.

"jj.." I whispered. JJ nodded and walked towards me. "The one and only" jj whispered back.

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..

I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding and my eyes tear up. "I- I'm sorry" I mumbled. My stomach hurt and It felt like someone was squeezing me to death. I was happy to see jj but it also hurt knowing it wasn't real.

We've come a long way from where we began..

"Hey what are you sorry for princess" jj asked. I look up at him and I had tears falling down my face. "I- I couldn't save you this time jj.." I answered.

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..

"Y/n this isn't your fault. Please don't start blaming yourself over me. You know it's not your fault" jj said. JJ pulled me in for a hug and he rubbed my back.

When I see you again..

I break down in front of him and I normally never do that with anyone. JJ has only seen me do it once and it was over everything that was going on. When the pogues see me upset they know somethings wrong.

First you both go out your way and the vibe is feeling strong..

I hold onto jj tight and I fall to my knees. "I can't take this anymore jj I can't" I whispered. JJ comforts me and rubs my back. "It's okay y/n it's okay" jj whispered back.

And what's small turned to a friendship..

"It's not okay jj..." I mumbled. I continue crying and I was shaking. I try to control my breathing but it was hard. "I- I can't... I can't live life like this.. I lost you... I lost my bestfriend" I cried out.

A friendship turned to a bond..

JJ holds me and let's me cry out. He wanted me to get my feelings out. He didn't like how I would hold my feelings inside. He would always joke about me being a bottle of soda and one mento away from an explosion.

And that bond will never be broken..

I fall asleep after crying so much. I was back to dreaming and the scene was different this time. It was a memory instead. I could see myself sitting in the Twinkie with jj and we were smoking a joint.

I was always jj's buddy for smoking weed so it was usually common for us to be seen smoking. "Hey jj can I tell you something" I said handing him back the joint. JJ grabbed the joint and looked at me. "Yeah what's up" jj said.

"Look uhm I've liked you for a long time. And I just wanted to tell you also that if you don't like me back that's totally cool. Because I don't want anything to also happen to our friendship" I said.

The love will never get lost..

JJ nods his head and looks at me seriously. "Y/n I-" jj began to say but we got interrupted by John B getting back in the car. "Hey guys I got everything on the list" John B said handing us the bag of snacks.

I smile at John B and look at the bag. "Thanks JB" I said grabbing a bag of chips. "No problem sis" John B replied as he started the car.

And when brotherhood comes first..

Later that day it was late and jj went home. I was in my room asleep until I heard a knock on my window. I wake up and seen jj at my window wanting to be let inside. I was confused by him being here this late at night and I get up from my bed.

Then the line will never be crossed..

I open the window and move out of the way so jj can come inside. "JJ are you okay? It's the middle of the night" I asked. JJ stands up and looks down at the floor. I observe the way he was acting and I realized it had something to do with Luke. I close the window and face jj.

Established it on our own when that line had to be drawn..

"JJ talk to me" I said looking up at him. JJ was tense and he was shaking. I grab his hand softly and I then stand In front of him. "Hey I'm here" I said softly and looked up at him. He looked down at me and had a tear go down his eye.

"Y/n..." jj mumbled. I nod my head and look at him concerned. "I'm here jj.." I whispered. I hug jj and he then breaks down. JJ hugged me back and started crying into my shoulder.

I rub the back of his head and I let him cry it out. "It's gonna be okay jj I'm here" I told him as I held onto him. JJ held me tighter and cried more into my shoulder.

I led him to my bed and helped him sit down. "Here let me help" I said as I take off his boots. I then pull back the blanket and let him get underneath it. JJ grabbed my hand softly and looked at me. "Please stay.. I don't wanna be alone right now" jj mumbled. I nodded my head and smiled.

"I'll stay" I replied as I make my way towards the other side of my bed. I get under the covers next to jj and I look at him. "You comfy? I can get some more pillows or blankets" I asked. JJ looked over at me and shook his head.

"I'm fine. Thank you" jj replied. I nod and put my head on my pillow and look at jj. JJ pulled me closer and laid his head into my chest. I hold him and play with his hair.

And that line is what we reached..

JJ fell asleep and pretty soon I did too. It was nice to know I calmed jj down and that he felt safe again. JJ knew I loved him and cared about him. We never dated or made anything official between us. Then pretty soon he was with Kie and I was happy for him.

After he got with Kie he knew I was still there as a friend and I stepped back a little. The most selfless thing I could do is let the man I love be with someone else. Even though I didn't want to let him go I still did because it was the best thing I could do.

So remember me when I'm gone..

Even though jj and I weren't in a relationship our friendship was much stronger. He and the other pogues were mine and John B's family. JJ always has a special place in my heart. And I know it was the same for him with me.

JJ and I were still close after that whole night he stayed over because of Luke. He knew that if he had anymore problems with his dad he could tell me and John B.

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got..

I wake up from my dream and I felt someone carrying me. I looked up and seen the person and it was Rafe. But I couldn't think clearly and next thing I know I spoke.

"JJ?" I mumbled. Rafe looked down at me concerned and then smiled sadly at me. "No y/n it's rafe" rafe replied. I slowly go back to sleep and hold onto him.

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side..

Later after I fell asleep I wake up and I was back at the camp. I sit up and it was still dark but Rafe was awake. "Rafe?" I mumbled. Rafe looked over at me and smiled. "You okay?" Rafe asked. I nodded my head and I sit up. "Yeah I think so" I replied.

And now you gonna be with me for the last ride..

I look over and seen the others were still asleep. Me and Rafe were sitting a bit away from everyone. "Hey y/n uhm about earlier.." Rafe began to say but stopped. I look over at him and I was confused.

"Yeah?" I said. Rafe sighed and rubbed his head. "I heard you crying and went to look for you. Then I found you asleep on the ground. I carried you back here and you woke up for a bit." Rafe said and I nodded.

"You called me jj." Rafe finished. I frown and sigh as I look down at my feet. "Im sorry I thought you were jj. It's just.. im not myself right now" I said. Rafe nodded and then looked over at the fire.

So let the light guide your way yeah..

"It's okay Y/n I understand. But I want you to know something" Rafe said. I look up at Rafe and I hold my legs. "Whats that?" I asked. Rafe looked back at me and smiled a little. "If you need to talk about anything that's going on you can talk to me. Or any of the pogues." Rafe answered.

I nodded my head and smile softly at rafe. "Thank you Rafe. That means a lot" I replied. Rafe nodded his head and smiled at me.

Hold every memory as you go..

My mind kept spinning but not as much from earlier. I didn't want anyone to worry about me even Rafe. But it is comforting to know they do care.

And every road you take..

"I just kinda wish I could go back in time you know? Fix everything or just do things differently" I said. Rafe looks at me and nods his head. "I don't blame you there. I understand were your coming from" Rafe replied.

Will always lead you home..

I smile at Rafe and it felt nice to have something in common with him. It almost felt like how me and jj were with our friendship. Next thing I see is JJ sitting next to Rafe and looking at me.

"Yeah.. and maybe I would be able to say more stuff I didn't get to say. Or do some things I never got to do" I mumbled. Rafe looks at me and nods his head again. JJ kept looking at me and he nods his head to.

It's been a long day without you my friend..

"But then again I know that the people I miss are in a better place" I continued. I look at JJ and I smiled. "And it's also good to know they aren't hurting anymore." I added.

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..

Rafe got up and sat beside me. He then put his arm around my shoulder and sighed. "Even though jj got on my nerves I could tell he was a good friend to you and the others." Rafe said.

I nodded my head and I pat his hand. I look at jj and he didn't seem mad at Rafe sitting beside me. JJ seemed happy and he also seemed like I would be taken care of by the others. Maybe even rafe as well.

We've come a long way from where we began..

"He wasn't just a good friend to all of us.. he was the best. And when I see him again one day thats the first thing I'm gonna tell him." I replied. JJ grinned at me and nodded his head.

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again..

Rafe pulled me closer and held me. It was comforting and a hug is all I needed right now. I hug Rafe back and then I seen jj get up.

When I see you again..

JJ looks back at me and then slowly starts to walk away. But then he turns again and looks at me smiling again.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-..

I smiled at him and I start to tear up again. JJ knew that I loved him. Even seeing him now in spirit he definitely knew.

When I see you again..

JJ was the king of friendship through and through. He kept us all together through the good and the bad. He was loyal, kind, selfless and just an amazing person.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh..

And deep down I know that jj has changed my life forever. Because I wouldn't be the person I am today without jj maybank.

See you again..

JJ waved at me and I waved back at him slowly. JJ then turned around and kept walking. Next thing I know I seen mine and John B's dad. He smiled at me and then put his arm around jj.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh..

I wave at my dad and jj again and they wave a final wave back. They then turn away again and kept walking and I smiled at them.

When I see you again..

"Goodbye jj..." I whispered and then I close my eyes as the tears fell and I hug Rafe tightly.

[couldurfaveescapeaperturescience]

i dont really do propaganda on my polls but this one is important to me especially for the non homestucks this propaganda is pulled from their intros because there is just so much to get into otherwise roxy and dirk will be the most helpful here but i want to get into them all also i obviously have an alpha kid prefernce im sorry rose passion for obscure literature, enjoys creative writing, has a fondness for bestially strange and fictitious, and sometimes dabbles in psycoanalysis dave spins incredibly ill jams using turn tables and mixing gear, likes obscure bands, collects and preserves weird dead things, amateur photographer, and he runs multiple ironically humorous blogs, websites, and social networking profiles roxy goddamn does she love wizards, wishes they were real and that so too is their magics, she enjoys writing fanprose about them that is not so great, she is however great at the esoteric sciences such as ectobiology, dark fenestrology, and appearification, she has accured many dead preserved cats from here expirments, she likes video games that are past their prime, she has a soft spot for old school technology, and her coding credit is totally rediculous she is as deadly to the grid as she is beautiful dirk holy shit does he love puppets, he has extreme dexterity to operate them unseen, that is when they are not pre-ambulatory through lovingly imbued mechanization, he digs writing cognitive algorithms, he's self taught on ancient civilizations, master of mythologue, a popculture academe, he dabbles in the sequential arts, against the better judgment of those his age he builds robots and sets them to kill mode and spars to the death, he also does rap battles with them and use sendification to give them to his friends dirk splinters lil' hal an autoresponder dirk made when he was 13 which is basically 13 year old dirk in a pair of anime sunglasses brobot only here because his is obvious a dirk splinter i dont like his name so i dont think about him, anyways he was sent to jake by dirk in order to keep jake on his toes by fighting him ghost brain dirk is a version of dirk that was made from dirks heart powers and jakes hope powers there are others that i am not including to me those three are the main ones

[too-late-chomp]

Oh FUCK dude.p

[sharkylad]

Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

[kastheory]

steve did not bully eddie in "the past" steve was a grade below him for 3 out of 4 years of his high school career freshman steve heard this weird loudass sophomore talking w his friends at 100 decibels in the hallway about fighting elves in the woods or something (steve did not know what larping was nor care to find out) and then he went to class bc are you insane hes not fucking w a sophomore you dont normally fuck w people ahead of your grade especially if they yell at people and wear chains and get into fights in the woods (with elves?) and you dont even have classes w them. you dont even care much about them in the first place beyond passing gossip like HAVE YOU GUYS EVER BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL. sorry. anyway.

then steve keeps catching this guy in his periphery over the next two years shouting about board games and controversial food opinions and metal bands that steve likes a few songs from but could not ever imagine giving that much of a shit about. like at all. and by (steve's) year 3 the motherfucker is bouncing off the walls giving speeches about what the hell ever and saying he cant fucking WAIT to get out of this FUCKED UP PLACE!!!! YEP ITS TRUE IN LESS THAN ONE MEASLY YEAR ILL BE SAYING MY SWEET SWEET GOODBYES TO THIS BRAINLESS CONFORMIST PRISON!!!! and hardly anyone reacts beyond rolling their eyes or snickering to their friends about it and this includes steve because who cares literally who cares. this guys been causing a ruckus since the beginning of time and hes weird and unpredictable and not worth trying to shove in a locker he would probably evade the attack anyway like a nimble mouse or squirrel he might even try to bite you. and steve didnt shove anybody in lockers in the first place so who cares and yeah he has pretty eyes and a funny way of talking and moving around but WHO CARES

and then steve goes through the first round of nightmarish shit that would become a yearly ordeal and then wraps up junior year in a perfectly normal not haunted whatsoever fashion. and then hes a senior and in his subtly cringefail era (ongoing) and that freak guy is STILL HERE for some reason and kinda pissed off and possibly a bit devastated about it so okay great now steve has a few classes with this angry weirdo loudguy but. crucially. he has had a lot of OTHER SHIT to deal with lately (MONSTERS ARE REAL) (GIRL DIED IN HIS POOL) (GF RESENTS HIM) (HAS NO FRIENDS) (COLLEGE APPS) so the only effect eddie's constantly loudmouthed & often unwarranted input during class ever has is that it adds a little flavor to the constant metaphorical and literal headache of steves life.

and then he goes through round 2 of shit and finishes his senior year with little hope for a satisfying future ahead of him and never once thinks about that guy again except when his fellow grads whisper about oh my godd did you hear that the freak flunked out again hahaha and yep sure enough eddie's not there at the graduation ceremony. and he thinks huh i wonder what his fucking problem is and then he MOVES ON. the end. thats the extent of """their past""" at least in terms of any actual interactions btwn the two of them i promise okay listen to me. i was there

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

[aibouart]

i drew a streamer i started watching recently who was playing LN1~

their name is obakechan !

[loserchildhotpants]

hello i am sooooooo sad and lethargic and sick and it would make me soooooo happy if you gave my exhaustively researched Titanic!AU w destiel and samwena, Three Princes, a read ; A ;

i didn't put warnings on it (for Reasons) but also jsyk do not STOP reading before the epilogue :)))))

but look! i made art for it and there's songs for each chapter and switching POVs and there's extensive smut and there's booze smuggling and dancing and tragic backstories and pining and all sorts of stuff!!!

is Cas a Russian priest? almost! does Dean have Stage 4 Mommy Issues? you bet! does Sam sweat loudly around a milf that could kill him w a glance? more than once! is Rowena complex and morally grey while still maintaining a likable charm? i - i mean, god i hope i worked really hard on this one, guys!!

if u give it a chance, leave a comment on it or let me know what u thought of it here or on the cursed bird app - my focus is shot rn bc of meds and illness so i can't really get any further w my current WIPs atm and i need external validation or i shall simply whither away to dust on the wind T A T

imma tag folks (if u want me to remove u from the list lemme know slkdhfj this feels a little brazen of me to tag people ?? but everyone im tagging seems so nice and supportive and im a poor little meow meow rn so)

@queerstudiesnatural @starcrosseddeancas @casblackfeathers @casdeanel @emeraldcas @castiel

[solarpunkani]

Oh yeah also wanted to share with the Sunflowers that this weekend I’m gonna do one of those invasive plant pulling events in a local park!! Its gonna be my first time going to one and I’m excited (and a lil nervous but yknow). A friend’s also coming with so I don’t gotta be alone, which I appreciate because A: nervous about going alone and B: she doesn’t even like plants or outdoorsy stuff so we have to stan her putting up with my idea of Fun Activity being ‘yanking plants out of the ground’

All this to say I urge yall to go live out your solarpunky dreams. And apparently the native plant society’s website is a good place to start finding events like these.

[toddtakefive]

btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage