#and probably not explained properly

[gin-juice-tonic]

I deleted that last post because frankly I got embarrassed. But ultimately, I really would like to know if the new journal pages are suspicious on purpose.

Them being fake pages made by Bill is a theory I believe quite heavily in, and in my opinion there's a decent amount of evidence for it. It feels percentage-wise very few people agree. But I guess I just want to say, it's not that I'm just out here grasping at straws to discount a book I didn't like. What we know Ford to be like, what we know Bill to be like, and most importantly what we know journal 3 to be like, those are what the theory is driven by.

When I first looked at TBOB for myself, I got to the second page of the journal pages and the perception that I was reading pages written by Ford himself was shattered instantly. It was not repaired through the entire rest of the pages. When I was sitting around at work later, the next day after I had finished reading, I was struck in my mind by a bit in Ford's final message. "He's making it all up as he goes along." I know people have different readings of the meaning of that line, but for me that's what made me feel like maybe there's something to all this.

Suddenly it wasn't just "This book sounds nothing like Ford..." But rather "Maybe this book sounds nothing like Ford... because it isn't supposed to." And I started realizing stuff. Like "Hey... wasn't Ford drawn super incorrectly here?", or "Could this part really have happened?", or "Does this page make sense to even exist?". "What is it that creates such a strong sense of dissonance to these pages?" I have kept digging into more and more of what felt wrong ever since.

If you read through them without feeling like anything was off, or if there was it wasn't something you felt to be important, it makes sense my theory would not be for you.

But I believe in it.

And if I had my own chance to ask Alex, I would.

(Update: if you haven't seen the additions I made to this post, I ask you read them too)

[cacturnia]

Chili Bean!

[mechanismmadness]

Drumbot Brian regularly takes out his spine and just cleans it with a brush (like those big brushes for,, horses? I think they're for horses)

[zero-aves]

Ashswag & LifestealLord (or just Lord as my brain calls them) autism creatures

[pestilentbrood]

VERY long Ramble incoming

honestly now that I'm looking at the auraboa lore situation, I'm just disappointed. There was such POTENTIAL in the idea of the Loop and the horror of a new generation inexplicably being disconnected from it, forcing the newly hatched children into a world totally separate from that perceived by their parents (I mean, hell, they perceive TIME differently!).... but then the writer(s?) just fell ass backwards into Icky Tropes.

I feel like I can see what the idea was, especially with the recent alterations to the Encyclopedia entry... It seems like staff fundamentally understands the true Horror potential here, but... Instead, through the short story, they proposed it through the lens of a condescending outsider character, turning the fears of the older generation into something trivial. And also weirdly demeaning the Auroboa's situation by portraying them as overreacting.

Why... why would you do that? Like, from a storytelling perspective? What's gained from that? Why not embrace the true horror and even Emotional significance of that disruption? Why instead go for "ohh we NEED outsider help we NEED to be saved because we are so helpless and it is so Silly that we, creatures who have never experienced such things, do not know what sleep is"????

And if they WANTED to have a condescending outsider, I feel like they COULD have done that, but it would have to have that character realize the horror at some point. And make it obvious that their attitude towards distressed parents and children facing Eldritch Shit and the Sudden Deconstruction of it was not cool!

(or at the very least be a bit more...idk. Consistent with said outsider character? Juniper just goes from "omg I am so honored that the fascinating creatures of the behemoth have chosen me to speak to" to "oh their wasting my time because they don't know what sleep is. I'd rather be sleeping!! 🙄" like girl... c'mon now. Why are we trivializing it like this. Do you want me as the reader to be invested in their plight or not.)

I mean come on. They're beings connected through one networked hivemind-like system, yet each still maintains a silver of individuality that allows them to move freely throughout the Behemoth that they care for. And they've got an eldritch understanding of time that no other dragon could understand. They're seeing the future, past, and present unfold simultaneously. They're witnessing the birth and death of the world at the same time, and have no way to communicate it to other dragons. The best they can do is maintain their home, and even then, they see its roots spread and decay all at once.

And then the newest generation is suddenly disconnected. An inherent link between parent and child and all dragons in-between, that has existed since the creation of their species, is just suddenly GONE for the newest births. With NO explanation for it. The children have no easy way of communicating with their parents. The children are experiencing time in a way that was not meant for their species. They've forcefully been shoved into a circadian rhythm that they are Not! Built for!

The only way a parent could communicate properly with their child would be when the latter is sleeping, something that is also completely foreign to this species. It would be terrifying for all involved!!!

They are literally experiencing eldritch horror from the perspective of the eldritch being forced into the mortal.

Like why WOULDN'T there be panic!!! And why would that panic be trivialized! Why are we only shown the perspective of an outsider who looks at this situation and goes "Oh the silly tree beasts are being so silly over nothing, it's no big deal!"

That and the way the auraboas talk to outsiders. Like. There was such potential there. Real opportunity to explore how ancient, time-bending beings would communicate to someone who couldn't even BEGIN to understand the intricacies of it.

Instead we got what feels more like baby talk (even described as though they were hatchlings enunciating their first words, which... I dunno man, maybe we don't want to compare them to children like That) and less like... Beings that experience all of time at once. I mean, the hatchlings and the adults speak the exact same way, and that doesn't make any sense given the literal time barrier going on.

I totally get why people thought there was just a language barrier and that auraboas had their own language, thus causing the disjointed speak, and not that it was because They Do Not Experience Time Like We Do. And I feel it would've been far easier to get it across by just... I dunno. Do anything else?? I saw someone on here suggest they speak in the "wrong" tenses, or using multiple tenses in the same sentence, which I think would've been far more clear.

Like, as opposed to "saplings wilt! saplings silent!" just "the saplings will wilt in silence, they've wilted in silence, they are wilting silently." Said all at once like all things are true simultaneously. And if we're going for hivemind, have each auraboa speak in a different tense, all at the same time, and have them switch it up every time. Have our outsider get confused and be like "which is it? are they wilting now, or have they already wilted?" and the cluster of auraboas respond in a cacophony of yes's, no's, and maybe's all at once.

Would've probably gotten across the "alien" vibe they were supposedly going for far better than wide-eyed desperation for an outsider's guidance conveyed through disjointed, in-world described as baby speech.

And also maybe would've had less accidental connotations. Because as it stands, I completely see why people have made the connections to the real world where they have. This doesn't read like eldritch timey-wimey intrigue, or even a respectful look at how younger generations can become detached from their families' cultures over time and the struggles that come with it. It reads like a culture being perceived by an ignorant outsider who (despite supposedly respecting these dragons) scoffs and rolls their eyes because the tree beasts with their funny words are being silly again, and that Hey, isn't it actually a great thing that the children are fundamentally different in all manners now? Because now they can join the rest of us in the "real world."

Yknow. Ick.

(I Personally think it would've been better to have the perspective be one of the Auraboas themselves, especially one of the children, to really understand what was going on here. Give us the full brunt of the mind of a creature experiencing all of time interwoven as one shape. The waters fall and the oceans crash with waves. They've now fallen to drought. The ocean has yet to be born. Caves have been carved out through the waters' currents. And when I break from this timeline, I open my eyes to see a child, the child not yet born, the child born now, the child born yesterday. Why can't I hear it? Why couldn't I hear it? Why won't I ever hear it?)

I dunno. People more qualified than me to speak on this matter have already torn the lore apart, I'm just... dropping my own two cents. Potential got weirdly squandered and we ended up instead with unfortunate implications and tropes that could be connected a liiiittle too awkwardly to irl situations.

*Also, before anyone points out: Yes, I know the hatchlings aren't COMPLETELY detached from the Loop and can join it when they sleep. But the fact is, these thangs never had to sleep before. That wasn't in their species' nature. So that's still weird and foreign for them on both sides. And since the hatchlings now have a circadian rhythm, they can't stay connected to the loop permanently. And also Also, seeing as the previous generations aren't experiencing time linearly, who's to say they even recognize when their child joins the loop? They'll speak with an echo of their child when that child was last asleep ages ago, not knowing that it's not them presently, because there is no 'present' for the older generations.

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[seeminglyseph]

If you are concerned about Polites dragging Odysseus down in "Get In The Water," please know that Shades are not the same as Souls. They are not representations of the complete self. Once a person has died, they do not have their whole self anymore. The scene in The Odyssey, where Odysseus is able to have complete conversations with the dead, is due to magic kind of reviving them a little for a bit. There's definitely like... something there for a Shade to be judged and like... for there to be preferable afterlife options, etc.

But, Shade Polites being part of a mob dragging Odysseus down is not a sign that Polites or Anticlea having ill will towards him in any way. It is simply part of the tragedy of the dead that they don't possess the will or motivation of the living, and Polites did not receive proper funeral rites. His Shade cannot be set at peace, and so it repeats his last thoughts endlessly and reaches out without a mind towards things it vaguely recognizes without conscious intent to cause harm.

I think it's implied Anticlea walked into the sea at the sight of what seemed to be her son dying in a storm just off the cost of Ithica which is why she also did not have a body that could have appropriate funeral rites performed but I could be incorrect.

Funeral rites are really important for this reason, Shades that wander but can't pass on can be... just. Passively fucked up. It also fades over time. It's the stuff haunting are made out of.

[horrorlesbians]

the a24 civil war movie is either a poignant commentary about the manufactured divide in the us largely due to factors outside the citizens control or one of the most tone deaf movies of the moment but I don’t care about it enough to figure out which it is

[nihilean]

we need to remake that queercoded characters: Gabriel vs Miles edgeworth poll but have Gabriel actually be fucking described properly and WHY he's so queercoded instead of the absolute joke of a description he got against miles fucking "teehee they're kissing and we're soooooo going to hell for this teeheehee" capcom edgeworth who somehow did get a good and exhaustive description (actually anything is better than a description that lasts three mobile phone app lines tops where half of it is a jokey epression)

[maxaroniiiii]

echoes of wisdom takes place in the downfall timeline the maps and stuff line up

the zelda team has just added stuff like gerudo and gorons from previous games that werent in alttp because they werent really a thing in zelda yet and theyre probably expected and stuff

[infizero]

i cant phrase this well but infinity train book 2 is for the aroace transgenders. lake transgenderism is obvious but nothing in my life has screamed to me queerplatonicism as much as lake and jesse like their qpr readings are off the fucking charts

[musubiki]

lime has such a special place in my heart. like hes such a prominent character in the story and even though he was one of the first ones made i still have a hard time finding something to do with his arc that is satisfying to me and brings justice to him as a character,.,

[thethingything]

does anyone else ever get delusions that aren't particularly well defined, for lack of a better description?

like I know for us, the way we normally describe delusions is more "this is a thing that feels very real whether I choose to believe it or not. I can decide that it sounds ridiculous and impossible, but that just feels like being in denial about something that's very obviously happening", but sometimes it feels like a thing is happening but I can't quite pinpoint what it is other than just the vibe of it being a particular kind of delusion.

there'll be the sense that it's definitely a specific type of thing, but no concrete details about the exact nature of it. I feel like I see delusions described a lot as being really specific beliefs and I do experience that, but there's also stuff that's more "something related to this sure is happening but the details are a complete mystery" and a hell of a lot of stuff that's somewhere in between

[lowcallyfruity]

Long Messy ass Leovil thoughts under the cut I just started rambling 😭😭

CRINGE WARNING 😨😨😨

Leovil is so doomed relationship to me. A relationship that was doomed to fail no matter how hard they tried to make it work. I always say that Leovil are ‘divorced’ or exes but I never really knew WHY. I never gave it a reason because I just wasn’t sure why they would have broken up. Cheating felt wrong, it just didn’t feel THEM. I don’t think either of them would cheat, that just isn’t them to me. And after thinking for a bit I decided on mental health.

I think that they dated maybe first/second year, and honestly at that time it was not the best for either of them to be in a relationship. They jumped into soon and didn’t fully think it through, a part of it was to feel something. ANYTHING. Part of it was to feel some form of relief. I think they tried, they really did. To make it work. I think they wanted it to last and maybe it did just for a bit. Maybe there was a satisfaction of them lasting a year. Or a month. Or two. Maybe to them having a relationship that lasted more than just a week or two was good enough. But it still hurts. Because they still wanted to try. They wanted to have something that lasted. They never had something last forever, never had such a strong connection and they got used to that. They just wanted to have something. Anything. A friend. Someone that cared. Someone that cared. Someone that understands at least just a little bit. But it was so impossible for them both at the time because they couldn’t deal with all of their problems in life. Leonas family issues and depression, Vil’s issues with the industry and his own hidden sadness and jealousy. They couldn’t handle a relationship at the same time. They weren’t ready.

They go well together but they also clash together. They can’t agree sometimes. And it’s hard to get through to each other. But they will try because they’ve gotten attached.

Yet no matter how much they wanted it to work it failed. They kept pushing issues aside.

I think when they broke up there weren’t any hard feelings at first. I mean. It was mutual. But as the days passed it got more difficult to feel that way. A part of them understood WHY but they also felt incomplete and unresolved. A slight bit of disappointment. It later grew to resentment.

They don’t hate each other. They really don’t. And I think now they understand their feelings more than back when they were younger. But they also somewhat can’t let go of that resentment that they felt from that first year.

They’re playful with each other. They tease. They’re in sync. They care about each other. They poke fun at each other. They remember the little details about the other. But there is always that little feeling that lingers. The desire for more. But being too scared to act on it. Because they don’t want to hurt again. Not anymore. They can’t let go. Maybe they’re just better as friends. No not friends. Rivals? Co workers? They’re too stubborn to let go of their grudges. Even if they seem silly now.

And it repeats over and over again.

And it’s been doomed since the beginning. A cycle that repeats over and over again. Like Sisyphus and his boulder.

Longing and yearning but letting go and pushing away.

[sableeira]

just found out that I forgot to rename a variable in my submission for an application test and now there is a variable called “idk” floating around

[ballcrusher74]

also uggh sorry to rant here rq ( might delete later if my dumbass dont forget ) but tbh this has kinda been bouncing around my mind where I only restrict having oc art / lore / etc on this blog cus dude it's honestly really demotivating to just have it flop really badly on twt.

yas, ik likes / views shouldn't equal worth but I think you gotta understand that getting a fanart piece to 1.7k, and then posting artwork of ur oc and it barely breaking 100 is actually saddening cus it's like. damn. ( only exception seems to be meiro tho but i kiinda wish my other guys also got just as much love )

idk and honestly the most interest I've seen in my guys is on here ( there are some people on twt but most of it is literally just my friends ) maybe I'm being dramatic about this and this is like. dumb and i'm asking for too much out of randos in my computer screen but idk man

fuck my chud life