#and probably a new icon but not yet I’m gonna wait to get our professional griddlehark pics back and hopefully use one of those

[bloodbonesandmarrow]

crowsandkings ——> bloodbonesandmarrow

Yep yep we’re transferring to a full tlt theme now. I’ll still reblog non tlt stuff, but since I’ve been so hyperfixated and posting so much tlt I decided to change it

[makeste]

literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.

so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.

so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).

why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.

why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.

why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.

why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.

why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”

why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.

why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.

why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.

why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”

why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.

why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”

why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk

why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.

why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.

why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.

why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).

why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.

why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.

why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.

why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.

why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.

why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.

why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.

why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.

why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.

why I like it: peak. gremlin.

why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.

why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.

why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.

why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.

why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.

why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.

why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.

why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.

why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.

why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.

why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.

why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.

why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.

BONUS:

WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.

happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.

[nso-csi]

201111 hypebea twitter update

Taemin on the Making of ‘Never Gonna Dance Again : Act 2’ The K-pop artist breaks down the inspiration behind his solo project.

For Lee Taemin, Never Gonna Dance Again is the dawn of a new era. The title is an antithesis for a performer marked by his ability to entrance audiences with movement, and the 27-year-old hopes to demand attention with a concept both provocative and unimaginable. Led by the prologue single “2 KIDS,” followed by the release of Act 1 in September, Act 2 serves as the final installment of the series. Shortly after its launch, the nine-track effort quickly went number 1 on Apple Music charts around the world. Clearly, his third Korean studio album has already proven to be his most successful project to date. Taemin is more than the youngest member of SHINee, the legendary K-pop group that debuted under SM Entertainment in 2008, nor is he limited to the iconic “MOVE” dancer that set the K-pop industry aflame in 2017. His solo aura is almost unrecognizable from his role as a member of supergroup SuperM, his fourth debut across three generations. The common thread is that all of these eras are true to Taemin’s greatest gift: range. He is malleable in a way that breeds experimentation, but doesn’t adhere to standards. This is the reason Taemin has become a household name, and a muse to both idols and fans alike.

About an hour before Never Gonna Dance Again : Act 2 dropped on Monday evening in Korea, Taemin entered our Zoom call harboring a clear excitement in his tone. After working hard for so long, it’s only natural to anticipate the world’s response to your work, especially if every release is as risky and groundbreaking as his. Lead single “IDEA” screams arthouse and intensity, with featured vocals from legendary performer and labelmate BoA, who laced the track with her lines “Killing me” and “Killing me softly.” Avant-garde fashion accompanies the tantalizing hook, and aesthetic reminiscent of both heaven and hell add to the visual prowess in the music video, elevating the narrative Taemin aims to tell and harboring a ferocity matched only by the sharp and fluid choreography. “The title track ‘IDEA’ was inspired by the allegory of the cave (Plato’s Cave). Instead of ‘being trapped in a cave’ and living in the shadow of the truth, I want to free myself from the darkness and embark on a journey of enlightenment where I discover a new ego, identity and meaning,” Taemin explains, referencing Greek philosopher Plato’s theory of ideas. “IDEA” is a follow up of “Criminal” from Act 1, which had an equalizing parallel that was haunting yet seductive. “IDEA” is just as visually demanding and hypnotic, but levels up from the previous title track.

Throughout the conversation, it becomes clear that Taemin’s youthfulness has not begotten him despite his wisdom. The care with which he approaches talking about his music could be surprising given the mature vibes of his sound, but this duality should be expected from someone who forwent the typical teenage experience to pursue music professionally. There’s a sweet charm in the way he expresses himself, and an eagerness to continue innovating as a result. “I participated in the writing of three tracks: ‘Heaven,’ ‘Think of You,’ and ‘Pansy.’ I’m always writing and taking notes in my notebook when I have time between schedules, so a lot of the inspiration came from that.” Taemin says, breaking down each track he worked on with a noticeable passion. Describing “Think of You” as a warm song that expresses honest and sincere messages for his fans, and “Heaven” as giving positive energy and strength, he goes on to talk about “Pansy,” a song that holds a little extra weight. “The significance behind the flower is ‘remember me.’ I wanted to tell a message to my fans who have waited for me for a long time, because in between there are periods where I’m not working on my solo music. So for those fans who have been waiting patiently, I wanted to show that gratitude and how I’m very appreciative of that. I wrote the chorus part, and when I was writing it that day, the weather and my surroundings were the main inspiration.” Beyond nature, the flower serves a more sentimental value. “The pansy flower has a specific day, Pansy Day, and that’s also the day of SHINee’s debut, so it worked perfectly.” Taemin also believes these three songs stand out the most compared to Act 1 due to their warmth and fuzziness, a bright contrast from the powerful and dark undertones heard previously.

Speaking of his creative process when working on new music, Taemin has a unique approach to finding inspiration: searching his mental state in the current time. “When I watch a movie, I’m not inspired by the movie itself, but the feelings that I have as I’m watching it. That’s what plays the most important role.” Looking back on recording for Never Gonna Dance Again, he adds, “I had that period where I was going through a slump of trying to create something new, so I wanted to make that experience artistic and useful and incorporate it into my album.” He combines his real life thoughts with his signature drama, a method that can’t be duplicated as it’s unique to him. For his involvement in Act 2, Taemin describes it as “writing a personal letter to my fans.” He elaborates, “Rather than creating perfect lyrics or a perfect song, it was more about sincerity and delivering that comforting message and being very honest with my feelings.” The feelings showcased are the most up-to-date represenation of Taemin’s artistry, but even that’s open to change. “I’m always thinking about what I’m good at, what are some things that other artists didn’t try,” he reflects. “I’m not an artist that’s limited by genre. I’m not just an R&B or K-pop artist, but I’m one who likes to experiment with different genres and styles to diversify my portfolio.” For Taemin, sharing his own thoughts and emotions is one of the biggest reasons he wanted to become a performer, and it’s what steers him away from following what’s trendy or high in demand.

Of course, this doesn’t mean Taemin doesn’t respect the other artists he’s worked with. In fact, he treasures both his past and his present, and recognizes them as equally important to his current sound and image. “SHINee is a big part of who I am as an artist. For example, in one of the teaser photos for the new album, I’m wearing this military uniform outfit which alludes to SHINee’s single ‘Everybody.’” Fans immediately recognized the 2013-inspired getup, and it’s just another treat for both Shawols and Taemin. He hasn’t forgotten his roots, nor does he plan to even as he evolves. “For the past 13 years, I’ve been spending a lot of time with them and creating music together as a group.” It’s only natural that this influences his career, and his Shawols are still his most fervent supporters even after such a long time. “With my solo career, I don’t want fans to think that I’m throwing all that away. It’s more about creating something new and different than what I’ve been showing in my past with the group. In the past years, I learned a lot, and I always had things that I wanted to try and experiment with. It’s not about the end of SHINee or moving on, but a new beginning.” His consideration of the fans’ feelings doesn’t negatively affect his progress, but proves how he hopes to continue growing with those who helped him get this far. Sincerity is probably the most important message Taemin wants to send as he embarks on this new journey. “For a new beginning, something has to end. I want fans to know that this is not goodbye, it’s not the end. I will continue to bring great music and show something new to the audience.” What that may be, we’ll just have to wait and see. But if Never Gonna Dance Again is any indicator, the future of soloist Taemin will continue to keep us guessing.

Ashlee Mitchell

[omgyouatetheprincess]

Janus’ Playlist

AHH JANUS' PLAYLIST LETS GOO

Not that anyone asked for my opinions

Okay so I'd like to start by saying that Thomas, Joan and Talyn did an amazing job on this playlist because every song fits Janus so perfectly.

Here are some of my thoughts on the songs and some interpretations I came up with or found on the internet.

Trigger Warnings - abortion. Mocking of religion.

Black Hole Sun - okay at first I was like 'wow this is really smooth and nice and the vocals are so sweet.' Then I heard the lyrics. "In disguises no one knows,

Hides the face, lies the snake". It's such a Deceit song and I imagine him dancing to it (with or without a partner).

Black Hole Sun by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox, Haley Reinhart

It Seemed That Better Way - holy heck, can I point out that this song is such a bop? Leonard Cohen has such a soothing voice and it reminds me of Patrick Page (aha Hadestown) and if Janus wasn't played by Thomas, I could imagine this as his voice. The song is about not knowing what the truth is and what to believe, and has religious meanings which could be countering Patton and his Catholic beliefs.

It Seemed The Better Way by Leonard Cohen

Anywhere - I feel like Patton would hate this because the first line is "It's a beautiful world if you've been lied to by parents and priests". Anywhere describes how the world isn't a beautiful as it may seem, and that people lie to make you see it.

Anywhere by The Scarring Party

Talking At The Same Time - it is immediately dark and that everything seems fake and a... Lie. A lot of Deceit's songs are about the truth or that everything is a lie and I have to give massive kudos to Thomas, Joan and Talyn because they did an excellent job portraying Janus through his music taste. The song describes how everyone talks at the same time, and what I interpret that as is that everyone says the same thing over and over. It's hard to explain so I'll let you make your own interpretations of it.

Talking At The Same Time by Tom Waits

all the good girls go to hell - I'm not going to lie (ha) but I don't like Billie Eyelash, but I'll see past the artist. My first thought when I saw the song without hearing it is that it's a good choice and Janus probably loves Billie Eilish. Spotify has meanings of songs so I'm going to go off there: "This song is in the perspective of the Devil / no matter how good you are, desperate measures will eventually break you / turn you into bad." I feel like Deceit would sing this around the house. This song is twisting Christian symbolism and the lyrics can be interpreted as Eilish praising people who go to hell as it's better than being morally good. (Also, just switch Peter with Patton)

all the bad girls go to hell by Billie Eilish

Denial - KDJIEKAKSNDENIAL? In Putting Others First, Janus is referred to as Denial and now this song? Everyone start clapping for Thomas and his team. Anyway, the song discusses themes of conflict within a relationship, and the denial and insecurity of being in a relationship near it’s end (source: Genius). Also, Roceit vibes?

Denial by The Vaccines

Trust In Me - first of all, heck yeah! I predicted this song to be on his playlist because it's a slimy snake song from Disney? Hello this is Thomas? I think it's a great song and Johansson's voice is angelic. Kaa is manipulating and hypnotizing Mowgli, and if Deceit could do the same you can bet your bottom dollar he would sing this. We love our not-evil snake boi.

Trust In Me by Scarlett Johansson

Razzle Dazzle - Janus singing this with Roman? Yes please? Okay so I get that this is a villian song, and I love that, but imagine Deceit in a shiny sequenced dress? I also haven't seen Chicago yet so I'm going off what I've heard - this song describes how it is too easy to put on a show and make the audience happy. Basically, acting is just professional lying. The line "Though you are stiffer than a girder they'll let you get away with murder" is so clever (no spoilers but he had it coming)

Razzle Dazzle by Richard Gere

[SLIGHT HADESTOWN SPOILERS]

When The Chips Are Down - I hecking love Hadestown so you can bet I squealed when I saw this song. This song is sung by the fates, who are portrayed at untrustworthy. The title of this song is derived from the idiom “when the chips are down”, meaning “when a very serious and difficult situation arises”. Eurydice is in potentially one of the most serious and difficult situations she could be in: her life is at stake. After Hades invites Eurydice to come with him to Hadestown, the Fates appear and encourage her to consider his offer. They tell her that she should look after herself now that she is starving and the “chips are down”. (Source: Genius). In my own words, the fates are convincing (or manipulating if you will) a poor helpless girl to put herself first and save herself. It also mentions how if you be good to get into heaven,you get a knife in the back.

Go listen to Hadestown, it's an incredible soundtrack.

When The Chips Are Down by Anaïs Mitchell, The Haden Triplets

[TW! Abortion]

Mandy Goes to Med School - okay so this song is about abortion, so we'll have to go off context. Mandy (or Amanda Palmer) has to pay for Medical School by giving abortions in an alleyway with a coat hanger, so I interpret this as having to do shady stuff to get what you want. I think him and Remus would enjoy this song together. I'd also like to note that Logan had a song by Amanda Palmer in his playlist... That isn't relevant but I wanted to note that.

Mandy Goes to Med School by The Dresden Dolls

I Put A Spell On You - 50SOG vibes? I really like this song, it has a nice rhythm and the lyrics are so creepy. This gives me vibes of Deceit cornering/pining another side/love interest because if our baby boy wants to be happy, he should. This is similar to Trust In Me because it talks about enchanting someone to get what you want. "I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now." Chills. Janus singing this song would complete my life.

Also the singer calls the love interest daddy but we ain't shaming

I Put A Spell On You by Nina Simone

Evil Night Together - well the title has evil in it so... Perfect for our Evil Snake Boi. This song gives me huge Demus/Receit vibes because it's basically like "let's go on a date in the creepiest place."

What if we drank a drink in the torture chambers... Haha jk ...unless 🥺

Evil Night Together by Jill Tracy

Don't Tell Mama - another musical song? Roman would be impressed. This song is about an English singer, who's mother thinks she's in a convent (a nun), when really she's in a German s3x club. You can really tell why it would be so bad if her secret got out.

Don't Tell Mama by John Kander, Joel Grey, Jill Hawarth, Cabaret Ensemble, Harold Hastings

You're A Cad - definition of a cad: a man who behaves dishonourably, especially towards a woman... This song has a nice beat and gives me TikTok vibes, but it also gives me Moceit vibes (I say vibes too much) because the singer is saying "you're a villain, a cad, a rascal... But I'm like a fish on a hook for you and I still want you." Also, she has a sweet tooth?

You're A Cad by the bird and the bee

As Far As I Can See - all aboard the angst train, CHOO-CHOO "As far as I can see, nobody loves me. As far as I can tell, nobody loves you either" this song gives me such Roceit vibes because the meaning is pretty simple: if nobody loves Janus, then he'll take everyone down with him. I knew there would be that one song that tries to make me cry for our poor baby.

As Far As I Can See by Phantogram

Criminal - first of all, the cover is beautiful. Apple describes the song as “a description of feeling bad for getting something so easily by using your sexuality.” She also told in an interview: "One of my friends said to me, “Oh yeah, of course you aren’t writing.” So I was like, “The next time you see me, I’m gonna have a new song.” I wrote “Criminal” in 45 minutes when everyone else went to lunch because I had to have a hit. I can force myself to do the work, but only if someone is right up behind me." Which is the level of pettiness I see in Deceit and I am here for it. The context of the song is seduction and manipulation, so Janus using his sexuality to manipulate the other Sides is a cursed thought.

Criminal by Fiona Apple

Change - if any of them listened to Lana Del Rey, I sort of expected it to be Virgil. Change shows how Del Rey has matured, and I feel like it also portrays Janus' ability to adapt. "Change is a powerful thing... I'll be able to be honest..." Does this mean he's trying to change? Will we get more character development? LIGHT SIDE JANUS?

Change by Lana Del Rey

Devil In The Details - this song is about trusting the wrong person and taking advantage of something. "I am the first one I deceive if I can make myself believe the rest is easy.". More angst, yay.

Devil In The Details by Bright Eyes

Come Little Children - if you had a My Little Pony phase, you probably know this song. Come Little Children, also known as "Sarah's Theme" and "Garden of Magic," is a song sung by Sarah Sanderson in the film, Hocus Pocus to hypnotize children to lure them. Manipulation: a common theme.

Come Little Children by Erutan

Into The Unknown - I was really shocked to see this song until I realized, no, it wasn't the same iconic theme from Frozen 2. This short song is from Over The Garden Wall, a show Thomas watches but I have not. "If dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?" The show plays heavily on the battle between dreams and reality (source: Genius). The way I see this, Janus is convincing the Light Sides to do something, or specifically Roman to make his dreams come true through selfish means.

Into The Unknown by The Blasting Company

This playlist is one of the best because every song had me saying “Janus would so sing this". If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment!

As always, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals peace out

[themurphyzone]

Nova Ch 4

AN: Just in time for the A!countdown! Looking forward to those sneak peeks next month! 

Ch 4: Extraterrestrial 

New Selenian Date 3015.4.21

 Though our voyage through space was more volatile than I expected, we’ve successfully approached Terra’s exosphere. Under other circumstances, it would be cause for celebration, but…

 Well, Snowball has only spoken to me for essentials during the past few days. Usually so he can update me while he raids the pantry for maza or to catch up on sleep.

Our argument has only served as a reminder that we’re not…as united in our mutual goal as much I want to believe.

It must the length of the journey. Access to only four rooms in a one week period can give anyone a serious case of cabin fever. He’ll get better once we land on Terra’s surface, I’m sure.

Signing off for now, the Brain.

o-o-o-o-o

Was it really April 21? Pinky hurried to the Mickey Mouse calendar pinned to the wall next to his cage. He really loved that picture of Mickey giving flowers to a blushing Minnie. They really were the perfect couple!

Pinky imitated Mickey’s pose, dropping down on one knee as if he was offering a bouquet of pretty daffodils…wait, no those were lilies. He rubbed his head, confused by the yellow flowers in the picture. Maybe it was the type with the really long name.

What was it again? Ah, yes! A lovely bouquet of Chris-and-his-moms for Minnie!

Egad, the picture was so pretty that he’d forgotten about the reminder he’d penciled in the box for April 21!

“Granny Smith at 9 pm?” Pinky tilted his head, trying to make sense of what he’d written. He didn’t know any grannies that well, nor did he know any Smiths. Besides, Pharfignewton was leaving the ranch tonight at 9 pm, and he was going to see her off before she was off to the races. “Poit! Oh yeah, the apple! An apple a day keeps the vets away!”

Pharfignewton needed the energy for the journey too. Kentucky was a long way from California. About nine inches according to his placemat of the United States.

Before he left, he needed to leave a response for his space pen pal. But they weren’t exactly using pens. Maybe space radio pals was better.  

Pinky went back to the Walkman. It made a bunch of crackling noises, like the Brain hadn’t turned his equipment off yet.

“Hi, the Brain!” Pinky grinned. The was such a funny first name. “Glad you could make it to Earth! Or Terra! Whatever you wanna call it! Wherever you land, I hope you and Snowball enjoy yourselves. Definitely try strawberry cheesecake sometime. It’s delicious!”

The static continued.

“Anyway, Pharfignewton’s leaving for the Kentucky Derby tonight, so I can’t chat for long. Maybe tomorrow? I’ll spend twice as much time talking to you tomorrow! Fig’s been practicing super extra hard. She’s gonna win the Derby and get that Triple Crown! That’s her dream, you know! Dreams are a wish your heart makes, zort! Cinderella said so!”

Pinky put his hand over the Walkman’s speaker. “Your dream is taking over Terra, and mine is being surrounded by cheese from around the world! Or maybe that’s just my stomach. I can never tell for sure.”

The clock chimed eight, its little pendulum swinging to and fro in a dizzying pattern.

He had to say goodbye now.

And say goodbye again later.

“Alright…well, I’ll let you go. I bet you have some important Conquesowhatsit things to do. Bye, the Brain. Glad you could make it to Terra. You and Snowball are gonna love it. Ooh, there I go again. Bye for real this time.” Pinky slowly turned the dial down, past tinny classical and pop music stations, until the Walkman was off.

Dreams were always nice, even if Pharfignewton and the Brain had to travel far away to make them come true. Pinky’s parents were probably making their own dream of eating gourmet food pellets real as well. Sis didn’t have one yet. She was still torn between professional hairdressing and getting a cooking show on Food Network, but she was young and had plenty of time to grow up.

Now that he thought about it, maybe Sis was right. He didn’t have to decide on a dream for himself yet. Well, surrounding himself with provolone, cheddar, mozzarella, camembert, and all the other yummy cheeses was still a wonderful dream for now.

“A world of cheeses, deliciously made for you and me…” Pinky sang, the air conditioner providing a nice background instrumental as he went to the breakroom to fetch Pharfignewton’s apple.

o-o-o-o-o

Carting the Granny Smith apple to the ranch took more time than Pinky imagined. Running on his wheel along with those upper body strength VHS tapes helped him for most of the trek, but there’d still been one scary moment where he’d leaned back too far to see the pretty full moon. Luckily, the apple wasn’t too bruised from tumbling downhill.

By the time Pinky arrived, Pharfignewton was already in her horse trailer. Her owner sat on a nearby bench, his brow furrowed as his thumbs tapped rapidly on his cell phone. A white pick-up truck sat in front of the trailer, though the latch to connect the vehicles hadn’t been hooked yet.

The door to Pharfignewton’s trailer was wide open, the ramp still on the ground. Delays were good. It meant he could hold off on saying goodbye a little longer.

“Fig, I got you an apple! A sweet and healthy Granny Smith!” Pinky exclaimed as he ran up the ramp. Before he could get to the top, Pharfignewton bent down and grasped the apple in her teeth, nearly chomping down on Pinky’s hands as she lifted her head. Pinky’s feet left the ground, and he gripped the apple with both hands, almost sliding off the smooth surface.

He couldn’t resist a tiny nibble. Pharfignewton wouldn’t mind.

Pinky climbed onto her muzzle just as the apple was crunched into mush. Pharfignewton whinnied in delight, her eyes shut from sheer happiness. He stroked the fur between her eyes and hummed Camptown Races because it was her favorite song. She always got excited to race when she heard it.

Pharfignewton’s hooves clopped against the floor rhythmically, her head bobbing up and down.

“-gonna run all night! Gonna run all day!” Pinky sang, grabbing her soft mane and hauling himself up. He clung to her ears for balance. “I’ll bet my money here on Fig, cause she’s gonna win this May!”  

Pharfignewton neighed, her tail raised proudly.

Her owner looked up from his phone. His bushy beard quivered as he chuckled and waved at her. A van pulled up to the curb, the window sliding down to reveal a man in a funny white cowboy hat. The owner shouted and pointed to the newcomer’s hat.

“What a fashion icon, Fig! Rodeo style hats at the Kentucky Derby. Why didn’t I think of that?” Pinky asked. “Egad, I need to make my own hat for the Derby! A derby hat! With fancy ribbons and dandelions and those little beads on sombreros!”

Cowboy Man clapped the owner on the shoulder as he climbed out of his van, the owner playfully shoving him in return. The back doors of the van were opened, and they started loading the pile of heavy feed bags and horse care equipment into the hollowed out space, trading good-natured jabs while they worked.

Pinky glanced at the starry night sky, scratching the back of Pharfignewton’s ear. “I almost forgot. The Brain made it to Terra. He said so in his message tonight. Told him he should try strawberry cheesecake. I don’t know if they have that in space.”

Pharfignewton snorted.

“Oh, you and your homemade apple strudel,” Pinky grinned. “Tell you what. Win the Triple Crown and I’ll bake the most scrumptious, most mouthwateringest apple strudel you’ve had in your life! Oh wait, no, how ‘bout I just bake it when you come back? Whenever that will be. Maybe soon?”

However long she’d be gone, Pinky hoped she’d call or write or keep in touch some other way. Well, sending a postcard might be a little tricky with hooves. How was she ever gonna apply the stamps?

Pharfignewton neighed, her front hooves knocking against the floor in worry.

“I’ll be okay, Fig. I can wait ‘til August. There’s lots of fun things to do in the summer. Like playing water polo, air hockey, capture the flag...”

Except those games all needed two players.

And while Monopoly game pieces and dominoes made for great substitutes when he couldn’t round up the checkers and marbles, it just wouldn’t be the same without Pharfignewton.

Pinky’s tail started to cramp.

He hadn’t realized he’d wrung it between his hands so hard. It wasn’t the fun sort of pain either.

Outside, the men finished loading their supplies. The van doors were shut, and Pharfignewton’s trailer was hitched to the truck.

Their boots loudly thumped against the ground with every step.

Pinky slid down Pharfignewton’s long muzzle, his feet resting against the back of her nostrils. He gripped her face and looked at those gorgeous blue eyes. They were the same shade as his turquoise crayon. He wanted to remember that.

Pinky rested his jaw on Pharfignewton’s fur, trying to keep the tiny quaver out of his voice. “Well…guess this is it, huh?” he murmured. “You have a good trip now. You’re the best racehorse I’ve ever met. Course I don’t know any other racehorses, but you’re gonna win the Derby, Fig. I know you will. Just keep in touch, ‘kay?”

She knickered softly, her breath stirring Pinky’s fur as she lowered him to the ground outside her trailer. Her breath smelled just like applesauce. She carefully rubbed the underside of her jaw against Pinky’s head, nuzzling away tears that made his vision a little blurry, then slowly raised herself to her majestic height.

“Poit. Really, Fig.” Pinky tilted his head back so the tears just pooled in his eyes instead of trailing down his cheeks. “You’ve got a dream ahead of you.”

Pharfignewton stomped her hoof.

But Pinky shook his head. True, he could go with her, but who was gonna keep his cage clean and his wheel oiled if he wasn’t around? Besides, Pharfignewton would have so many new horse friends. She was gonna be a celebrity by association.

Pinky wiped a tear away with his tail. “I don’t wanna distract you or anything. Meet someone new! Who knows? You might even be fast friends!”

Then Cowboy Man and the owner walked past, too engrossed in their conversation to notice Pinky. Pharfignewton craned her neck, trying to see above Cowboy Man while he folded the ramp. Before she could reply, her owner gently shooed her further into the trailer while Cowboy Man finished up.

Once the trailer door was shut and locked, the owner and Cowboy Man took some time to stroke Pharfignewton’s face. The window bars were wide enough to allow almost her entire muzzle through.

They promised good things for her, win or lose. She’d be eating her fill of apples and carrots for sure.

She’d be happy out there, running like the wind to her heart’s content.  

Ten minutes later, Cowboy Man drove away in his supply van. Pharfignewton’s owner started up the truck.

Pinky quickly climbed up a fencepost and waved to Pharfignewton, wishing he’d brought along a handkerchief to blow his nose into or flutter in the air like a proper movie goodbye.

Pharfignewton stretched her neck as far as she could.

“Bye! Adios! Sayonara!” Pinky called, cupping his hands as the truck slowly inched onto the side road’s pavement. The trailer turned slightly with the movement, and Pinky quickly hopped to a fencepost within Pharfignewton’s line of sight.

She looked happy enough to get the show on the road, but her whinnies were still worried.

He had to cheer her up! She couldn’t travel to Kentucky with that frowny face!

“Camptown ladies! Sing this song! Narf!” Pinky panted, taking only a moment to catch his breath, the song choppy as he ran the length of the fence. But even with the truck’s slow crawl, he couldn’t keep up, and the truck disappeared over the hill, pulling the trailer and Pharfignewton along with it.

He didn’t slow down in time. Pinky stumbled over the last fencepost and fell into the springy grass below. The thud knocked his breath away for just a moment, but he shook it off quickly.

It was nothing really.

“Camptown racetrack’s fi-five thousand miles away…”

Pharfignewton shouldn’t worry.

He had the small, boxy TV that the lab couldn’t afford to upgrade to a flat screen. The NBC channel always showed the Derby.

And it was enough for him.

o-o-o-o-o

Had the stars always been that far away? They seemed much lonelier than usual.

Pinky tilted his head as far as he could, taking in the navy sky above. There was no moon and no way to spot the Brain’s old home tonight. He was probably somewhere on Earth by now.

Paris was nice at this time of year. Maybe the Brain would get all the cheese and baguettes he could eat. The city of light and love was absolutely splendid and heavenly. Pinky had never been there, but the landscape seemed so pretty at night in Ratatouille. Parisian rodents must be excellent chefs. Pinky would have to find one someday.

If only he could walk into a giant cabinet that would magically transport him to a riverboat cruise on the Seine. He’d only gotten a mouthful of cobweb the last time he’d tried that.

Oh dear.

Pinky twirled in place, taking in the enormous apartment complex to his left and the grassy hillside across the street, both of which he didn’t recognize.

“Narf! Silly me.” Pinky bonked his fist against his noggin, leaving a slight ache behind.  “One of these days, I’ll definitely remember that ol’ left turn on Albuquerque Street!”

Well, the only thing he had to do was retrace his steps.

But he didn’t have sidewalk chalk or a pencil.

Pinky scratched his head. This was a lot harder than he thought. He was outside, so he couldn’t exactly follow the left wall of the maze until he got un-lost.

His stomach growled, and he had a sudden craving for between-twilight-and-midnight food pellets.

“Hush now, tummy. You’ll get your food pellets as soon as I find the lab again,” Pinky said, patting his growling belly.

A bowl of smoked food pellets seasoned with paprika and rosemary sounded good right about now. With a side of smoked cheddar too!

Pinky laughed. “You’ve really got a craving for smoked food, tummy! Can’t blame you there. Those smoked chicken wings on Food Network were absolutely mouthwatering yesterday. I’m so hungry I can smell those food pellets!”

And the food pellets smelled delicious indeed.

Pinky took a deep whiff, standing on his tippy-toes to drink it all in.

Until the scent changed and it smelled more oily than the yummy sort of smoke.

Pinky’s nose wrinkled. A faint plume of smoke rose from behind the grassy hill, but it was still a little early in the year for anyone to hold a campfire sing-along with s’mores.

There didn’t seem to be a fire. Or slightly burnt marshmallows for that matter.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Pinky crossed the street at the crosswalk because he was a good pedestrian and not a jaywalker. That was just silly. He was a mouse, not a blue jay.

He ran to the top of the hill and perched on a tree root, heels rocking back and forth for a moment until he found his balance. Then his jaw dropped at the sight of a gray and silver futuristic-y UFO just beyond the hill’s base. It had to be the size of two cages combined, maybe a little more.

He wasn’t really good at judging size, but the UFO thingy was ginormous.

Dirt piled high around its battered surface, like it plowed right into the ground at Pharfignewton-like speeds. Smoke trailed from two long cylinders that arched above its back, though there were no flames.

At least Smokey the Bear wouldn’t have to worry about any wildfires.

Pinky approached the wreckage, circling it twice out of sheer fascination. He didn’t see any string though. No wonder the UFO crashed. It didn’t have any string to hold it up.

“Hello, Mr. Alien!” Pinky shouted, hoping his voice carried through the metal to whoever was inside. He leaned against the UFO with both hands, placing all his body weight on his tiptoes. It felt great. He hadn’t stretched his shoulders like this in a while. All his focus had been going to strengthening his thighs recently. “I just wanted to let you know that your UFO string is missing! But it’s okay! I have an extra long ball of yarn back at the lab! Will that do?”

There was no response, though Pinky heard a plip-plop of dripping water when he pressed his ear against the UFO.

Suddenly, the metal hissed and shifted under his palms.

“Narf!” Pinky yelped as he pitched forward into the opening. His jaw thwacked against the floor, and he giggled at the tingly sensations that shot to the top of his head.

Propping himself onto his elbows, Pinky found himself in a room that was just as big on the inside as it seemed on the outside. Except everything seemed a little smashed up. Broken computers tilted against one wall, the screens cracked and displaying a random string of numbers and letters.

Orange soda dripped from an open panel to his left, forming a bubbly puddle on the floor. Pinky almost drank it, but figured it was a terrible idea because of the little metal bits mixed in. Orange soda went with pizza, not metal.

Pinky stood up and dusted himself off, then walked over to what seemed to be a smashed-up bedframe. There was an upturned mattress and a crumpled white blanket next to it. When he tried to turn them over and arrange them into a less messy position, he found they were rather scratchy and definitely uncomfortable for sleeping in. Whoever used this bed must’ve woken up every morning with a backache the size of Alaska.

As he tucked the last corner of the blanket into the mattress, several tiny blue things slipped out from the folds and bounced off his foot. When Pinky glanced down, he found there were a lot of tiny blue things scattered throughout the room.

He picked one up out of curiosity.

No, it wasn’t a thing. More like a tiny blue star. He touched it with his tongue, a sweet flavor taking over his taste buds entirely. It really packed a wallop. His tongue hadn’t felt this tingly since the time he’d eaten two entire packs of lemonheads! He popped several more tiny stars into his mouth, hugging himself from sheer bliss.

For a moment, it seemed like there was another voice agreeing with him on how fantastically delicious these tiny stars were.

Then it cut into a low groan, which didn’t sound like someone enjoying a snack at all. Pinky quickly swallowed the tiny stars and listened for the source of the noise.

“Narf! Hello?” Pinky called. “Are you an alien ghost? Or a ghost alien, Mr. Alien?”

Another groan. Maybe Mr. Alien didn’t know how to play Twenty Questions.

One of the computers shifted and crashed onto its side, a blue screen flickering in and out of existence. Parts of the splintered bedframe laid among the mess. A small, black-gloved hand poked out from among the tangled wires before falling limp again.

Pinky poked the hand.

It twitched.

“Awful hard to sleep under all those wires, don’t you think?” Pinky asked. “I mean, it would be so electric-y under there! Unless you’re an android ghost alien! Electric sheep only works for androids, I think. The rest of us count woolly, fluffy sheep.”

The mass of wires trembled, the hand closing around Pinky’s wrist. Though it was probably meant to be a tight grasp, it wasn’t a very good hold. A single movement could shake off the alien’s hand.

But Pinky stayed still. Something didn’t seem quite right.

The alien lifted his head, a pair of antennae with bouncy red orbs perking slightly.  

Antennae was a good name now that he thought about it.

“N-no’all?” Antennae murmured, the wires slipping off his large, chubby head. His bleary pink eyes stared through Pinky with desperate hope. Soot stained his messy fur with varying shades of gray, his pointed ears drooping and floppy.

“Poit. Do you not speak English?” Pinky asked. Antennae continued to stare, not seeming to understand. “I could get my language book from the lab. It’s got Spanish, French, Sea Lion, and Legalese! I’m learning a lot! Maybe it’s got your language too?”

Then Pinky snapped his fingers. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner? “Wait, no! Maybe kissing would be much faster? That way my English flows into your mouth and voicebox! Is that how it works? I’m pretty sure that’s how it works…”

Antennae’s grip tightened, his lower half writhing in the wires until he shook himself free. From the neck down, he wore a sleek black bodysuit with red highlights that really made the color of his antennae and tail orbs pop.

Egad, he was tiny. Even Antennae’s antennae barely rose above Pinky’s chin.

Something green and golden glinted in the hand that wasn’t holding onto Pinky. Antennae stumbled as he got to his feet, wincing as he tried to put his weight on his heels. His eyes widened in panic, and he quickly let go Pinky, breathing rapidly as he wrapped both hands around the weapon’s handle.

Balancing on his toes, he shakily pointed the weapon at Pinky. He was trying to shove the red bulb into Pinky’s nose, which was a little rude to be honest, but couldn’t do much more than a light tap.  

“Are you okay?” Pinky asked, lifting his head so the bulb wasn’t smushing his nose. “Soot’s not really good for your complexion. Gives you all sorts of pimples and zits. That’s what Dr. Oz says, anyway.”

There were several clicks as Antennae repeatedly pulled a switch on the handle, but nothing happened. It clearly wasn’t working the way he expected. He growled in frustration, lowering his weapon and opening a compartment along the top. Then his eyes flicked to the puddle of orange soda on the floor and back to Pinky.

For the first time, Antennae noticed all the tiny blue stars that littered the ground. He whipped around in surprise, staring since he still didn’t understand, but the sudden movement made him lose his balance. Pinky caught him by the arm before he fell flat on his face.

The weapon slipped out of his grip, clattering to the floor. He cried out and swung his crooked tail into Pinky’s side.

“Zort!” Pinky yelped, more from the literal shock he’d received, than actual pain. His fur stood on end, like he’d just rubbed a balloon against it. When he pressed it down again, several tingling tickles lingered on his hand, making him giggle.

When he looked up, Antennae had limped over to the damaged remains of a shelf. But even walking across the room was too much, and he collapsed again.

The bodysuit had rips along the heels, exposing several painful looking cuts. Pinky couldn’t blame him for trying to stay on his tiptoes, even if it was a very awkward way to walk.

Antennae needed help. Pinky would have to carry him to the lab.

Pinky followed. He knelt and picked up Antennae, who weighed only slightly more than the small batteries Pinky liked to use as weights, since dumbbells were unfortunately too large for him. Antennae loosely held a baggie of the tiny stars close to his chest. There were several ripped baggies surrounding them. This seemed to be the only one that remained whole.

Cradling his head and back, Pinky set the baggie on top of Antennae’s chest, making sure the baggie was sandwiched between them before he set off.

Antennae’s head lolled against Pinky’s neck. The antennae orbs lit up with tiny sparks for just a moment, though Pinky didn’t get another burst of static. They faded back to a normal red within a few seconds.

He seemed…almost relaxed. At least his face wasn’t scrunched anymore.

As Pinky exited the UFO with his bundle, something bonked into the back of his head.

“Ouch!” Pinky nearly dropped Antennae and baggie in surprise. A tiny camera with a spinning propellor zipped into the night sky, recovering from its collision course quickly.

Some sort of alien tech too otherworldly for a regular genetically altered Earth mouse to understand? Pinky longed to ask, but he didn’t want to disturb Antennae.

Besides, he looked adorably pudgy while he slept.

Antennae made a small noise in the back of his throat, but he didn’t seem to be waking up anytime soon.

The camera didn’t matter as much. Not when he just discovered that aliens snored.  

Pinky set off for the lab, determined to get the directions right this time.  

o-o-o-o-o

Good thing the dark, narrow alley filled with dirty cardboard boxes had been there! Pinky never would’ve known it was a shortcut to the lab if it hadn’t been for that stray cat. It was a miracle that Antennae hadn’t woken up once, or that the baggie survived the chase without any rips or spilling tiny stars.

The cat had given up the chase, deciding that whatever was in the dumpster would be more of a yummy meal.

Really, Pinky didn’t imagine he’d taste too good. He tried to lick his elbow a few times and all he got was a mouthful of fur.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to try to climb up to the mail slot. The door was slightly ajar, just enough for him to squeeze past, even with Antennae’s chubby head.  

Pinky shifted his hold to one arm, then grabbed the handle of the nearest drawer to pull them up to the counter. He had to set the baggie down, but Pinky could easily grab it once Antennae was settled comfortably in the cage.

It took a few unsuccessful tries of hauling himself up while holding onto Antennae before he realized it wasn’t going to work.

“Psst, Antennae,” Pinky hummed, gently shaking the alien’s shoulder. It would be a lot easier if Antennae clung to his back. “Wakey-wakey…”

Antennae’s face scrunched again, then he yawned and nuzzled into Pinky’s chest instead.

He looked so peaceful. It would go against Pinky’s little shoulder angel to wake him up now. What had he been thinking?

After a few minutes of searching through bottom drawers, Pinky found a soft kitchen sponge that hadn’t been removed from its packaging yet. It would make a perfect bed. Pinky pulled it out of the package, carefully maneuvering it out of the drawer while trying not to jostle Antennae too much.  

Another drawer had several white, fluffy hand towels. They seemed clean enough, so Pinky slung two towels over his free shoulder and climbed out.

He laid one of the towels on the floor, then pushed the sponge on top. Cold feet weren’t fun in the morning nor in show business. Then he laid Antennae on the sponge and covered him with the second towel.

Antennae’s hand clung to Pinky’s fur, so Pinky loosened the grip and tucked the wayward hand under the towel.

“You’ll be alright,” Pinky whispered, stretching out his sore arms. Maybe he’d carried Antennae for a bit too long. But Pinky’s arms would be ready for more wheel-running tomorrow.

Now that both of his hands were free, Pinky grabbed a bandage roll which had been lying near a Bunsen burner. He’d have to thank Mr. Bunsen for letting him borrow these bandages later.

Pinky carefully removed the socks – maybe they were more shoes? Oh, well. He removed the shoe-socks from Antennae’s feet and laid them on the towel-rug. Since Antennae hadn’t been on his feet since the UFO, the cuts seemed to be healing just fine.

Pinky carefully bandaged the heels and folded the towel-blanket over Antennae’s feet once he was finished. Then he brought the baggie of tiny stars over and placed them next to the shoe-socks.

He climbed up to the counter briefly to wash his hands, humming Happy Birthday as he lathered with the honey-scented soap.

“Thank you, Silver’s Anatomy,” Pinky said to the TV remote, which teetered over the edge of the VCR. He turned to Mr. Button, still lying on his straw bed in the cage. “Sorry, Mr. Button. I’m sleeping elsewhere tonight. Here, you can have Nicholas so you won’t be lonely. Try not to keep him up too late, okay?”

He rolled Nicholas the Nickel into the cage and settled him near Mr. Button. They seemed happy. Mr. Button would no doubt be gossiping about the ballpoint pens again.  

Pinky yawned and went back to the floor. It had been an eventful day, and he was very tired.

The towel-rug seemed very inviting…

Pinky buried his face into the towel fluff. Antennae had been twitching throughout Pinky’s counter business, but he stilled again once Pinky curled up.

Pinky fell asleep, dreaming of cheese and Pharfignewton and a deep, faraway voice. It was a lovely dream, except the voice couldn’t join Pinky and Pharfignewton in their little cheese and apple picnic. It seemed unwilling. Pinky made sure to save a few slices of cheddar and provolone for him. Maybe he’d take it afterward.

o-o-o-o-o

When the sunlight hit his eyes, Pinky leapt with joy. Early wheel runs were the best! So were mid-morning runs, and noon runs, and evening runs!

Except he couldn’t move. He could still wiggle his fingers and toes, but his hands were tied behind his back, purple yarn binding his ankles as well. His entire tail was still free though. He swished his tail just to be sure.

He shimmied over to the drawer and pressed his back against it, managing to sit up. Though he wanted to run on his wheel, being tied up was a fun game too.

Antennae wasn’t on the sponge bed though. Where was he? He was missing out!

Pinky wondered if he should just untie himself and find Antennae. The knots didn’t seem that hard. Though it was hard to tell for sure if it was a slipknot or an overhand knot. He really should’ve paid attention in knot-tying class.

Five minutes later, Antennae stomped over in his ripped shoe-socks, though little strips of bandage poked out.

Pinky smiled. If Antennae was stomping, his feet must be healing fast. And then he’d be okay again.  

However, Antennae didn’t seem to think so.

“Wipe that ridiculous expression from your face, Terran,” Antennae scowled, his foot tapping impatiently. “Hand over all the information you know. I want answers, and I want them now.”  

AN note: I’d like to give credit to @pluto-art for her wonderful drawing of Brain as a cute little alien.  With the way she posed him, I knew I wanted to incorporate that somewhere and this chapter seemed like a good place to do it! I meant to credit her last chapter for the blaster idea but I forgot so I’m rectifying that now.  

Fig’s off to the races! Literally.

After the wringer I stuck him through last chapter, Brain seriously needed some cuddles. He’s a little touch-starved. Also, he’s a bad guest. Don’t tie your friend up, Brain. That’s just rude.

[perspective-series]

Kingdom Perspective (8)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, panic, kidnapping, keeping/treating people like pets, threats, and unwanted touching/grabbing

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

—————————————————————————————————-

 “Alright, well that was fun. Don’t you think?” Roman asked Virgil as he continued to walk down the hall.

“Patton was cool.” Virgil gave a nod of agreement. A little depressing, but cool.

 “Well hopefully we can have another playdate soon.” Roman said, before entering his room. He placed Virgil on the desk. 

 “Don’t get too comfortable, we’ll be leaving again in a moment. I just have to get a few things.” Roman told the human before going over to his bottom dresser drawer and pulling out a few clothes.

“Wait, what?” Virgil frowned, definitely not liking the sound of that. “Where are we going? Why do I have to go anywhere?”

 “Because it’s for you.” Roman answered back. He stood up and placed the human clothes he had picked out into his pocket. He made his way back over to the desk. “We’re going to see the tailor to fix some of these clothes for you.” Roman scooped Virgil up as he said this.

“What? No!” Virgil began protesting, more so as he thought about what tailors usually did and how in your face they could be. “The clothes are fine, I have enough that fit and I don’t care if they’re a little loose or tight.”

 “Well, I do. It’ll be fine, our tailor is the finest in all the kingdom!” Roman walked out of his room and down the hall in the opposite direction of Logan’s room.

“I don’t care!” Virgil pushed against Roman as if he could push hard enough to make the giant go back. “He’s probably a terrible tailor anyways because all of your clothes suck too.”

 Roman gasped in offense and ignored Virgil’s struggles. “Excuse you, my clothes are top of the line!” Roman huffed. “You just don’t know fashion. Obviously.” Roman looked Virgil up and down. 

“I’m a fashion icon.” Virgil grunted, still pushing. “I don’t want to meet any more giants. You take me in there and I will make a scene.”

 “I’d actually advise against that. If you make a scene, Remy will surely up you on it.” Roman said about the tailor before coming to his door. “And it looks like we are here, so be good.” Roman knocked on the door.

 “Give me a sec Gurl!” A voice spoke from within the room. 

“No I will not be good.” Virgil hissed, but his voice had gotten much quieter as he stared at the door in anxious anticipation.

 Roman ignored him and a second later, the door opened. Remy appeared, wearing a white tunic and a black jacket. He also wore a pair of black pants and a pair of tinted glasses. Glasses that he peered out of when he saw that Roman was the one at his door.

 “Roman! What can I do ya for?” Remy asked, leaning against the doorframe. Roman smiled.

 “Well, I need you to tailor a few clothes to fit Virgil here.” He held Virgil up for Remy to get a better look at. Remy’s eyes widened.

 “Oh sweet dude! You got yourself your own little human.” Remy smirked. “Well hello little buddy.”

Virgil glared at him, taking in this new giant. His outfit looked almost...human. 

 Remy, of course, noticed this and his smirk seemed to get wider. “Recognize my style?” Remy asked, popping the collar of his jacket. “You should. I took a lot of inspiration from your world after I had to tailor a few outfits for Patton.”

“Doesn’t seem very creative of you.” Virgil pointed out.

 Remy hummed at that, narrowing his eyes at the human. “...You sure have some spunk.” Remy smiled. “I like that.”

 He got up and headed more into the room, motioning for Roman to follow. “Welp, come on in. I’ll be happy to fix up this little guy some clothes.”

 Roman grinned. “Thank you Remy.” Remy chuckled.

 “No reason to thank me, it’s my job after all.” Remy motioned towards a small table almost in the center of the room. Something he had gotten to better tailor Patton. “Set him up on here and we’ll get started.”

 Roman did as told and took out the small pile of clothes as well, setting them near Virgil.

“I’m fine with the clothes I have, you don’t have to make anything.” Virgil insisted.

 “Oh, I’m not making anything for you...well, yet.” Remy admitted, picking up and inspecting the clothes. “Just gonna fix these so that they fit ya. Nothing big.” 

 “Can we start with the black jacket? I feel like we’ll need that one soon.” For other formal events that would take place. Remy shrugged and picked up the one Roman was talking about.

 “Well, go ahead and put this on for me, will ya?” Remy asked Virgil, holding the jacket out for him to take.

“Nope.” Virgil shook his head, taking a step back and shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

 “You’re definitely more vocal than Pat-Pat, that’s for sure.” Remy clicked his tongue. “Of course, he didn’t want to put on his clothes at first either. So, I’ll give you the same option I gave him. Put it on, or I put it on for you.” Remy chuckled. “It’s that simple.”

“What’d Patton choose?” Virgil raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious.

 “He ended up putting the clothes on himself. Which I am sure you would rather do as well.” Remy answered. 

 “Yes, come on Virgil. Don’t make Remy do this.” Roman said, looking down at his human with crossed arms.

“You all suck, this is so dumb.” Virgil pouted, but he took the jacket all the same. He took off his hoodie and wrapped it around his waist, throwing the jacket on over his shirt.

 “There we go, now you’re getting it.” Remy reached over and grabbed his tools. “Now, I’m gonna need you to hold real still. Can you do that?”

“Depends on what you’re gonna do.” Virgil eyed Remy’s tool warily.

 “Just take some measurements.” Remy shrugged. “And poke the clothes with a few needles. Not too much.”

“Nope!” Virgil immediately began ripping the jacket off his body. “Nuh-uh, no way. You keep those giant sharp pointy objects far away from me or I stab them into your finger.”

 “Virgil!” Roman yelled. And he had been being so good too, well, despite the talking back. 

 Remy only chuckled. “I won’t stab you if you just stand still, I’m a professional after all.”

“And that’s a giant weapon.” Virgil pointed at the pins in Remy’s hands, throwing the jacket to the ground. He turned to glare at Roman. “I’m not gonna risk my life so that I’m dolled up the way that you see fit, your highness.”

 Roman glared back. “Virgil…” Roman said in a warning tone but Remy cut him off.

 “It’s fine.” He shrugged, causing Roman to blink. 

 “Wait, what?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed. How was Remy not offended by this?

 “It means more work for me but I could just measure him and fix the clothes separately,” Remy said with a small sigh.

“What’s that mean for me?” Virgil turned back to Remy.

 “No needles, for one. Just this.” Remy held up the measuring tape. “I just have to measure your height and width of your body and limbs and then you’re free to go.”

Virgil looked at it and then nodded with determination, deeming this acceptable. “Fine, I’ll do that.”

 “Looks like you and Pat aren’t so different after all.” Remy chuckled. “Oh, right. Yeah, I lied about that, by the way.”

 Roman’s eyes widened as he grinned. “Oh, you are sneaky.” 

 “What can I say?” Remy said as he grabbed his measuring tape.

Virgil only glared at him. “Should’ve known better than to trust one of you.”

 “Oh come now, Virgil. He was just trying to help you.” Roman said.

 “Well, and myself.” Remy said with another shrug. “Now stand still.” Remy said to Virgil as he wrapped the tape around Virgil’s waist.

Virgil froze, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

 Remy hummed and wrote down the numbers he saw. He then switched to measure Virgil’s height. “Honestly, not sure what it is with you humans and needles.” Remy muttered as he worked.

“Pretty sure it’s the instinctual need to not get stabbed.” Virgil scoffed.

 “But it’s harmless!” Roman stepped in. “Seriously, almost everyone does it.” 

 Remy hummed in agreement, writing down more numbers before measuring the length of Virgil’s arm.

“Okay, but you being stabbed by one of those needles won’t kill you.” Virgil pointed out. “Those things are huge compared to me. I get stabbed, I die. End of discussion.”

 “So basically you think I can’t do my job right.” Remy hummed. “I see how it is.” He went to measure Virgil’s legs.

 “Wow, rude much.” Roman said for Remy.

“That’s not even fair.” Virgil protested. “I wasn’t saying that, I’m just saying that there’s no reason to risk my life when there’s other ways and I already have perfectly fine clothes in the first place.”

 “Whatever.” Remy said, writing down one last number before putting the measuring tape down. “Alright, you’re all set.”

 Roman grinned. “Great! Sorry for all the trouble.”

 “It’s not a problem. Little Virgy here is definitely more entertaining than Pat is, that’s for sure.” Remy said with a smirk, looking down at Virgil.

Virgil rolled his eyes and flipped Remy the bird for good measure.

 Remy just laughed at the gesture. “Like I said, much more entertaining. You are welcome to bring him back anytime.” Remy said and Roman chuckled.

 “Maybe I will. So, when do you think you can get the clothes done.” Roman asked, motioning towards the small pile. Remy sighed it up and hummed in thought.

 “About...two days. Yeah, does that sound good?” Remy asked. Roman grinned. 

 “Sounds perfect! Thank you Remy!” Roman reached out and grabbed Virgil. “Say goodbye, Virgil.”

Virgil kept his mouth shut.

 “Eh, he’ll warm up to me eventually.” Remy said. “See ya later.” Roman waved towards the tailor before exiting and heading back to his own room.

 “Why must you be so rude?” Roman asked, looking down at Virgil.

“Okay, firstly, I’m always rude so you better get used to it.” Virgil answered. “But secondly, me? Rude? He’s the one who lied, and you’re the one who forced me to go after I told you I didn’t want to go.”

 “You needed to go. You can’t just live off of one pair of pants and a hoodie. Not sure how you lived before but here you actually need to look presentable most of the time.” Roman explained.

“I never looked presentable at home and I refuse to do so here.” Virgil crossed his arms. “You can put me in whatever frilly junk you want, I guarantee you I will trash every piece that comes near me.”

 “Well, then I’ll just keep giving you more. And that means you’ll have to see Remy more too.” Roman grinned, entering his room.

“He already has my measurements.” Virgil pointed out. “Why does he need to see me again?”

 “Knowing Remy, he will definitely lose them.” Roman chuckled. Roman set Virgil down on the desk.

“Fine, then you get the measurements then.” Virgil suggested. “I don’t wanna go back there.”

 “Well, too bad.” Roman said with a huff. He thought for a moment before scooping Virgil up again and putting him back in the cage. He locked the door and sat down at his desk. “Now, I have a few things I need to get done, so I’m gonna need you to be quiet.” Roman said before getting out a piece of paper and starting to write on it.

“And just what’re you gonna do if I’m not quiet?” Virgil challenged, coming closer to the front of the cage.

 Roman paused, thinking for a moment. “I don’t know. Put you in the closet? Yes, I would put you in the closet.” Roman said before turning back to his work.

“Sounds more like a reward than a punishment.” Virgil countered. Indeed, any break from Roman was often its own reward. “Also, aren’t you forgetting something?”

 Roman tore himself away from his work again. “What?” He tried to think of what he could be forgetting, but came up with nothing.

“We made a deal?” Virgil tapped on the lock to his cage. “You promised to keep this unlocked and open.”

 “...Oh, right. We did make that deal, didn't we.” In hindsight, Roman was seeing how bad of an idea that had been. But he did reach over and unlock and open the cage door. He just hoped Virgil forgot about the other part of their deal.

“Thank you.” Virgil stretched his arms above his head, making a big show of stepping out of the cage. “Oh, and don’t think I forgot about you listening to me for a day. I’m saving that for a special occasion.”

 Roman groaned. Great. “Wonderful.” Roman tried to focus back on his work.

Virgil walked closer, making sure to get in Roman’s line of vision just to annoy him. “What’re you doing, anyways?”

 “Writing a letter to a few nobles in a neighboring country.” Roman explained. “I met up with them just shortly before getting you and now I must send a letter telling them how wonderful it was to have them here.” Roman leaned down after a moment.

 “But between you and me, they were absolutely awful.”

“Dare you to say that in your letter.” Virgil goaded him on, grinning.

 Roman laughed. “Oh, I wish! But I really shouldn’t unless I want to start a war.” 

“Listen, if I managed to help start a giant’s war I’d consider that a win.” Virgil shrugged. “What made them so awful anyways?”

 “Ugh, they were just so...preppy and narcissistic! They came into our kingdom and acted like they owned the place! Logan had to practically fight them off to stop them from taking Patton.” Roman explained. “But of course, I can’t say any of that.”

“If only I knew anyone so preppy and narcissistic…” Virgil smirked in Roman’s direction, but his blood did run cold at the idea of anyone trying to do harm to Patton. The poor guy didn’t deserve any of this.

 Roman noticed Virgil’s look. “Oh, ha ha. Very funny.” Roman rolled his eyes but was smirking. “Seriously though, be glad you weren’t here for that. It was bad.” 

“You could use that to your advantage in your letter.” Virgil put out his hands as if he was pitching a headline. “We are glad that you felt so at home in our kingdom despite its clear superiority. Thank you for your singular visit, it’s such a shame that due to personal reasons we will be closing our borders forever. Peace out.”

 Roman bust out laughing. “Oh goodness you are terrible at this.” Roman said, still laughing. “Oh, I so wish I could actually send that to them. Just to see the looks on their faces. The war might actually be worth it at that point.”

“Do it. I dare you.” Virgil’s face became villainous as he pressured Roman down the path of petty evil. 

 “Sorry but I can’t. Both my father and Logan would kill me.” Roman settled down in his laughter. Looking over his paper again. “But save it for when I have to write a letter in order to declare war. I feel like you’d be good at that.” Hopefully that wouldn’t be soon but it would most likely happen eventually.

“I do like making people angry with me.” Virgil nodded solemnly.

 “I’ve noticed.” Roman said, sending Virgil a look paired with a smirk.

“Rude.” Virgil said offhandedly, sitting down. “But at least I know I’m still good at my job.”

 Roman chuckled. “Too good, I would say.” He turned back to his paper. “Now, I really should get this finished. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I need to go home.” Virgil replied, giving Roman a look.

 Roman frowned and felt bad as he noticed the way Virgil looked at him. He sighed, focusing back on his paper. “...You already know the answer to that.”

“Heh, worth a shot.” Virgil chuckled humorlessly, pulling his knees up to his chest.

 Roman sighed but did his best to ignore Virgil and continue writing his letter.

***

Logan had just finished up clearing lunch, having sent the dishes away with a passing maid, when a knock came at his door. With all the unexpected visitors lately it was almost surprising to see someone using their manners. 

“You may enter.” Logan called, loud enough so the person heard him.

“Ah, Prince Logan.” One of the Royal Advisors, Emile Picani, came in with a low bow of respect to the high prince. “Thank goodness you are in good health.”

“Is something the matter?” Logan asked, bidding the advisor to rise. 

“There has been a...change in plans.” Picani admitted, standing up.

 Patton looked at the giant warily from his position on Logan’s desk. He didn’t really recognize this giant, though he thinks he may have seen him once or twice here and there. Mostly at formal events. He wondered who he was and what he meant by a change in plans. Did something happen?

“The council and I took note of your Father’s behavior at the dinner last night, per your request.” Picani explained. “We have deemed him unfit to rule.”

It was only on rare instances like this that Logan outwardly portrayed shock. His eyes widened, processing what Picani had said. Though he knew that his father was unfit to keep the throne, Logan hadn’t expected an actual ruling for several months.

“With the peace treaties coming up we cannot risk him plunging us into another war.” Picani shook his head sadly. “It is time for you to take his place.”

 Patton’s eyes widened. Logan was going to become king already? But he thought the prince had another year! Could they really do that, just out of the blue like that? Was Logan okay with this?

Logan took a deep breath. “How long do I have?”

“Until the end of the week.” Picani answered. “But there are many preparations that must take place to ensure the coronation goes smoothly. The council and I will need to brief you on the various technicalities that will occur once you’ve ascended the throne. Of course we will be there to help advise you through all your decisions, but you shall have the final call.”

“I see.” Logan put a hand on his chin, sinking into his desk chair and looking deep in thought.

 Patton bet Logan was glad he had been studying so much for when he took the throne. The human had no doubt that Logan was ready despite it coming sooner. Patton was happy the king wouldn’t be in charge anymore. Maybe that would mean he wouldn’t have to see him anymore.

Logan wanted a moment to process these new emotions, but Picani had other ideas.

“Your highness?” Picani spoke up. “In order to ensure success we really must begin right away. There are a dozen tasks we must complete this evening to remain on schedule. I know this is a lot to put on your shoulders, and I don’t want you to feel overburdened by this responsibility, but right now...your country needs you.”

 Patton did deflate at that. He had wanted to ask Logan questions like Virgil had asked him to. But it seemed like now Logan was going to be gone for quite a while.

“Of course.” Logan stood up, his posture suddenly giving off a more regal tone than before. He carefully picked up Patton, placing him back in the cage. 

“You’re going to wonderfully, Logan.” Picani assured him, leading the eldest prince out of the room.

I hope so. Logan kept this thought to himself. A king does not show weakness.

 Patton watched as Logan left the room, leaving Patton all alone. Patton sighed. He wasn’t unused to this. He barely left the bedroom and he was usually left alone quite a bit but he had been hoping to ask Logan some things.

 Oh well, he would just have to ask Logan tomorrow. Since Patton figured he’d be gone the rest of the evening. Having nothing else to do, Patton settled down and tried to get some sleep.

[gwen-writes-stuff]

Damn Shirt | Tom Holland imagine

Imagine : You and Tom coincidentally wear the same clothes.

Word count : 3280

Y/N's POV

I was digging in my closet to try and find an appropriate attire for a walk around the city. I've been away for months, Filming for Spider-Man: Homecoming so I figured that for my first day off work I'd take a lovely stroll around Los Angeles.

It's not really exciting or eventful but the aim is to relax after the many days I was working non-stop.

After what felt like an hour, I spotted a black graphic t-shirt and I don't remember having it, I grabbed it by the hanger and held it up to scan.

Satisfied I threw it on the bed to fish for my favorite pair of jeans.

In the end, I had the small section on the middle part of the shirt tucked in my favorite white jeans while the rest perform like a normal shirt should and got lazy so I topped it all off with a high-cut converse.

As boring as my fashion taste sounds like right now, I clean up nicely during premieres and formal events.

I texted my sister where I'll be meeting her and I grabbed a random sunglasses running out my house to wave my cat goodbye.

I decided against driving because I actually wanted to walk, My sister_____ wanted to shop and I gladly accepted the invite. The Starbucks I asked her to meet is just a few blocks away anyway.

While crossing the street I didn't fail to notice a number of Paparazzis lurking, I sighed, They could at least try bring subtle about it.

As much as I love the fans, fame and love for acting I didn't appreciate the invasion of privacy. I can't do anything about it because I had this coming.

A few more streets crossed and I'm inside the Starbucks where my sister greeted me with a hug, I chuckled hugging her back.

"Missed me much?" She rolled her eyes but shortly nodded. I raised a brow at her when she brought the straw of her drink to her lips. "You know what I always get."

She giggled and handed me my drink she hid god-knows-where. "So how was it?" We sat inside for a while to try and catch up. I jusst get back last night.

"Eventful. I knew taking the role of Spider-Gwen was gonna be a pain but the stunts I pulled off..." I trailed off to groan indicating I had a hard time and she smiled at that.

"Knowing you, You slayed that!" I mockingly posed like a superhero and I got a few looks from the people around.

"Well I didn't get fired." I shrugged and took a sip of my (Fave Starbucks drink) and almost choked from the following words that left my dear sister's mouth.

"So how is it working with Tom Holland then?" I blushed and I could tell just by how my cheeks instantly heat up and _____ wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Ever since I saw him as Peter in Civil War my crush on him wasn't a secret to _____ and it was sheer luck that I got the part of his love interest.

"He was sweet. Very professional." I gave her the bullshit I'll probably give the interviewers and she obviously wanted more than such a plain answer when she rolled her eyes.

"Any kissing scene?" I snorted and almost had my drink coming out of my nose and I instinctively slapped her hand that rested on the table and she was a laughing mess.

"____!" I picked up my sunglasses and wore it, "Let's just go shopping." That was what we planned afterall and she gave me a suspicious look.

I didn't answer her question and I bet she already know that there is. I did afterall play his love interest.

We went to different shops just chatting about the most random of things and Tom didn't come up anymore.

I thought I was over that part of shooting but ____ had to go and remind me, I wasn't able to sleep for a week after shooting that scene.

We had about twelve takes because he was doing the iconic hanging upside down and we were a laughing mess. Five times, He almost fell off and I was the one to steady him.

I unknowingly shook my head to try and rid myself of the memory, reminding myself that I'm professional and was snapped out of thoughts when ____ poked my side.

"Damn Paparazzis." She whispered and I glanced down at our shopping bags and I barely have space on my hand.

"Isn't this enough?" She shook her head to point out that we also had to do a back to school shopping and I complained about how far it is.

But that didn't stop her from dragging me into three more stores and I ended up going back home with sore hands but I was happy. I was told to rest by my manager but I missed ____ and shopping was our way to bond.

When I reached the comfort of my home I flopped myself on the bed and let my cat walk all over me til she settled on sleeping on my back.

I rolled my eyes at the inconvenience she just put me through, Sleeping on my back, She's lucky I love her.

My phone that I left on my nightstand to have no distractions for the day just buzzed and I groaned. Reaching for it without interrupting my Cat who very annoyingly got comfortable on my back.

I opened it to see that I got fifty missed calls from my manager and immediately shot up, My cat landed on the floor with a very nasty meow and I sent an apologetic smile her way.

Rascal just hissed at me and I turned back to my phone, What is it this time?

It must be this important if I have fifty missed calls from my freaking manager so I called her back instantly hoping for the best but getting myself ready for the worst.

I haven't had a scandal. Ever. Since the beginning of my career I have actively avoided drama in the industry so I'm beyond terrified.

"Y/N? Where have you been? You haven't been answering my calls!" My very angry manager yelled through the phone and I had to pull the phone away from my ears for a moment.

"I went shopping with ____ and I know, I just got home and I left my phone. Sorry?" I replied quietly that I doubt it even reached the other end of the call.

I heard a very loud sigh and I braced myself for the news, "Are you dating Tom?" I was frozen from kneeling down on my bed.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh because that is ridiculous and how much would I be paying Tom to be my boyfriend? Cry because it's a slap to the face that I would laugh at how impossible it is to be with my crush.

"Y/N are you there?" I was pulled back to reality, I coughed to get rid of the forming lump in my throat and shook my head but I realised that I'm on the phone.

"No, Why would you ask that?" Fifty missed calls? What could I have possibly done to be linked to Tom when I was yet to do interviews with him?

I have a week to myself before interviews start and I already have this question from my manager?

"I'm sending you the links." With that she ended the call and I shakily scrolled to see my feed on twitter.

I didn't need to check the links (Manager's name) sent when I already know what the issue is.

Y/N L/N and Tom Holland dating?!

Actors starring in the upcoming Marvel film Spider-Man : Homecoming, L/N and Holland, Dating?

Those are just two of the many article title that have blurred my vision, I haven't seen Tom since the last shooting so why would people assume this?

I clicked one link and I could feel my cat snuggle into my lap as I read the article with shaking vision, I was too nervous.

Y/N L/N was spotted shopping with her sister _____ wearing a very familiar Black T-shirt that fans pointed out to be exactly like the actor Tom Holland's just this morning (Random date).

Pictures of her walking out of Starbucks were all over the internet when one fan pointed out that Tom Holland wore the same shirt months ago (Random date again lol) and alot more agreed.

This lead to fans believing that the shirt was originally Tom's and he had given Y/N the shirt when they started dating, Their relationship is not confirmed to be official but fans are expecting to hear the truth from the two young actors.

At the very end is a picture of me walking out of Starbucks and next to it is a picture of Tom crossing the road. I squint my eyes to see that our shirts did look exactly alike and how unfortunate it is that I just pulled that very shirt out my closet out of boredom this afternoon.

This is utterly ridiculous.

Before I could sleep the stress off I saw a highlighted notification, Tom tweeted me.

One of the many articles is attached and I braced myself for embarassment and cringe.

@ TomHolland1996 tweeted :

@Y/Nofficial Now you gotta give me my shirt back 😉😂

With that tweet he's not making any of this any better! I groaned in frustration and dropped on the bed face first, Glad my cat left knowing she was being ignored and I drifted into sleep thinking about the drama waiting.

***

It's been a week and interviews with Tom are coming up, We had a few with other cast members like Zendaya but the first one I'll be having is with Tom and questions about the shirt will surely come up.

My stupid ass forgot that shirt is actually Tom's.

I don't really remember the events following how the shirt ended up in my closet but it was really his.

How'd I know? I called him the next morning asking about that tweet.

The week went smooth, I went to the beach and a road trip with _____ to Vegas. The rumours about Tom and I dating still hasn't died down.

I suggested we go apart to lessen the assumption but he insisted we shouldn't let the issue affect our friendship which lead me to think.

Are Tom and I friends? Because Homecoming was the first time we worked together and I doubt he even knew of my existence before then.

We worked together, Got acquainted fast and got along...sort of but I wouldn't really call us friends. He was always closer to Zendaya who he always hang out with in between breaks and he was best friends with Jacob who he always talked to and we only ever made small talks.

He seemed to be so uninterested in me that I found it awkward to kiss him on camera when I felt like he didn't want me around but it was as if something changed and we were fooling around and teasing like good friends that after twelve takes, We got the job done.

As of now I'm in a dressing room watching Carla, my stylist fix my hair. I didn't want my make-up to be too much since I wasn't feeling too extra so I did it myself.

When it was finally time for the interview I was greeted by Tom who said an inaudible 'Hi' which I replied with a small smile.

“Y/N, Tom, It's nice to have you here.” The female interviewer chirped as we took our seats and I laid back with legs crossed, My hand rested on my thighs.

“Thank you.” I replied with a polite smile, “Pleasure's ours.” Tom added as she shook hands with us.

“Well you can call me Maddie. So let's start?” Maddie asked and we nodded, I turned to look at Tom who also turned to look at me with an innocent smile.

“So Y/N, We know that Tom has a background in Dance and Gymnastics but you don't?” I shook my head stealing a glance at Tom because I can feel the weight of his stare and it's honestly making me uncomfortable.

Not because he makes me uncomfortable, god no, But because of my stupid crush.

“I don't, I do dance around the house and in the shower.” I joked and Maddie let out a soft chuckle. I can dance really well if I actually tried but gymnastics? Nope!

“So how was your stunts? You had no background whatsoever, How did you do it?” Despite having not learned fighting or gymnastics I still insisted on doing my own stunts which surprised many, Even myself.

I went through alot of training and hardwork to even come close to an average performance, I shifted in my seat.

“Well, I may be no gymnast but my ballet days did a huge part. That, Along with practice and just determination to learn.” Satisfied with my answer Maddie looked down at her cards.

“Tom. This one's for you.” I fought the urge to turn to Tom and kept my eyes on Maddie as she spoke while looking down at her cards because I didn't wanna look at Tom.

Why? I am a hundred percent sure that I would be way too distracted by how perfect his hair looks and how pretty his eyes are.

But thinking about being distracted, distracted me anyways that the next question is directed to me that I didn't even notice Tom already answered his.

“What was the hardest part in playing Gwen?” I silently thanked God that none of the questions directed at me so far are about my body or diet.

“I think it's the stunts. Everything else is a breeze but the stunts man!” I answered and the three of us erupted into laughter.

“Back to Tom, How was it working with Y/N?” This time I instinctively turned and instantly regretted it when our eyes met and locked.

He leaned towards his left side to get a better look at me and my insides screamed. “She's...amazing.” He said almost out of breath and I could only pray to God that I'm not blushing right now.

I saw Maddie in the corner of my eyes raise her brow suggestively, Leaning forward to not miss a potential tea-spilling as I'd like to call it.

“She makes it easy, She's very professional and a really great actress. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm acting anymore, You know?” His cute accent trailing behind every word as I listen to my heart race. But he plays as my boyfriend?

“So what is the funniest thing that happened on set?” Maddie asked directed to the both of us and I almost jumped at my seat from excitement.

“The kissing scene.” Tom with a dropped jaw looked at me as if I spoiled something but that's his job. Must've wanted that memory kept a secret.

“Do tell.” Maddie replied with a small smirk on her features that I failed to notice because I was too busy recalling the events.

“We had to take twelve takes.” Tom spoke up stifling a laugh. He was shaking his head with a toothy grin.

“I don't even remember why we were laughing but before our lips could even meet we would burst out laughing like idiots.” I added laughing at the end of my sentence and so did Maddie imagining how ridiculous we Must've looked like.

The interview went on well and Maddie was really nice but I knew the inevitable was coming so when she said we were off to the last one, I shifted again in my seat. Nonchalantly moving an inch away from Tom and pretended to ignore the small frown he gave me when he noticed.

“So this might be a little hot of an issue but you were spotted wearing his shirt, Right?” Maddie asked me gesturing her hand to Tom and I nodded. “How did that happen?”

I raised a hand like a schoolgirl to indicate I wanted to go first. “I didn't know it was his–I mean I did but I didn't remember. I was just digging through my closet and went ‘Oh that shirt looks cool’ so I went ahead and wore it.” I turned to Tom, “How did that get in my closet, Tom?”

I asked with a slight tease and a cheeky grin but I didn't expect him to look serious, He coughed and clasped his hands together. “Funny story actually.” He began.

“We were shooting this one scene in the night and it was really cold but when we were wrapping up I found this woman sitting alone in the corner hugging herself.” I would've grabbed a jacket but I was too cold I found it hard to move and my manager and assistant were talking to the staffs.

“So I ran to search my bag for anything, A jacket but I saw the shirt and I remember it being warm and I was afraid she would've froze by the time I find a jacket so I gave it to her.” I remember now, Just how my heart skipped a beat when I looked up to see who owned the extended hand.

Tom with his pretty face illuminated by the moonlight, His damn boyish grin. If I wasn't sitting down I would've dropped on the floor because my knees turned jelly.

“So you two are not dating?” Maddie asked and I couldn't answer, It hurts to say no and I wondered if it's still just a silly crush if it's hurting me.

I figured I'd let Tom answer but even he just stared at me so I raised a brow at him. Maddie cleared her throat but our eye contact didn't break.

“Are you two dating?” Maddie repeated herself changing thd question slightly and I can hear hope lacing in her voice but I shook my head still looking at Tom.

“Unfortunately not.” Tom replied and my jaw dropped at that, What did he just say? “But if miss L/N would be kind enough to go on a date with me then there would be a big possibility.” I was lost for words.

Is he serious or just stoking the flame of this hot rumour? Tom wouldn't do that just to gain more attention but he couldn't be serious about wanting to go on a date with me?

“I — I'm sorry, What?” Maddie was making inhuman noises of joy while I look at Tom with wide eyes and he only flashed me the same boyish grin.

“Is that a yes?” I couldn't form a word so I nodded slowly while Maddie clap and Tom look away briefly, Jesus, Is he blushing?

My manager is going to kill me.

Breaking News ! Spider-Man : Homecoming actor, Tom Holland just asked co-star Y/N L/N on a date during an interview.

Watch the interview here!

well this was long as fuck. I didn't really know how to start and end this because I just have this one stupid idea of you and Tom coincidentally wearing the same shirt and people going crazy about it so forgive how shitty this is.

PS : I take requests~

[hsmakingmeblush]

I’m Lost In Your Fire

A Vampire Journalist Harry Fic

*Read Chapter One 

Chapter Two

Harry can’t help but let out a groan as he lets his body sink deep into the warm water filling his pearly white porcelain bathtub. It feels like a relief as the water sinks into his skin and envelops his sore muscles in warmth. He lets the soothing scent of lavender fill his nose and allows calm to overtake him as his bath bomb continues to fizz in the quiet of his bathroom.

Today hasn’t been the worst day he’s ever had, not by a longshot, but it’s been long and stressful. Putting up with pricks like Jimmy at the office all day and not being able to say anything can make the tension in his body skyrocket with holding back any reaction. And believe it or not, working on fluff pieces he could writing his sleep can actually be more draining than the hardest hitting journalism beats. There’s only so many times he can type out the words London Poodle Parade before wanting to break his computer himself.

But now that that piece is over, finally, he’s got to get down to the real business. Mr. Turner’s finally given him a story he can actually sink his teeth into… so to speak. It may not be the hard hitting stuff they write down in the political new section, but a profile feature actually gives him something to work with, real substance that’ll occupy his mind and give him something to research. Which is why he’s decided to take a nice long soothing bath to help ease him into the research process. Admittedly, it’s been awhile since he’s had to do anything this extensive.

So, Zoe Price, who are you?

He clicks his laptop on from where it was sitting asleep on his wooden bathtub tray along with his wine glass that was decidedly not red with wine.

He decides to start his search by typing her name into Google- the best way is oftentimes the simplest. He’s almost surprised when he sees the rest of her name pop up in his suggestions when he’s only typed “Zoe P” so far, but then he remembers that if this woman was truly a nobody he probably wouldn’t be writing a profile on her. He clicks down to her name and hits enter and the first thing his eyes are drawn to on the screen is the photo in the corner of a woman with warm eyes and dark hair. She’s not bad to look at, but he doesn’t let himself linger before he moves on to the rest of the webpage.

The first link up is for something called London Bites. Was she some kind of food blogger or something? Sharing recommendations for London’s hidden dining hotspots for tourists and residents alike can all enjoy the best of what the city had to offer? Hm, didn’t seem likely that he’d be assigned a profile on someone that… mundane.

He clicks the link, mentally reminding himself to go back and look through the twitter that had been listed just below on the search page.

At the top of the page is a a black and white photo of London with London Bites across the top in red cursive. Not exactly the vibe he would expect from a food blogger.

As he scrolls down, he sees yet another photo of who he presumes to be Zoe herself if the caption is to be believed.

Zoe Price.

24.

London, UK.

Political Science, B.A.

But in this one her hair is shorter, lighter, and any warmth Harry fleetingly thought she’d had minutes ago is nowhere to be found. She looks more severe in this photo, it’s to be expected when it’s clearly been professionally posed and shot for business purposes, but Harry can’t say he likes the way she looks in it all the same. Not that it matters what he thinks. He’s writing a piece on her and her work, not on… her looks or how friendly she may or may not be.

To the right of her photo is a little blurb that reads:

It can be hard keeping up with all the goings-on in London politics and current events. There’s politicians galore, people with opinions everywhere you turn, and vampires just around the corner. Join Zoe Price every Monday as she interviews guests, debates hot button issues, and provides you with your weekly dose of social and political insight. Whether you want to be a more educated citizen, you want to impress your friends with being up-to-date in all things politically relevant today, or you just like the sound of Zoe’s voice, this is the podcast for you.

Subscribe and listen to London Bites now on Apple Music, Spotify, or wherever else you like to stream podcasts.

Below that are little Twitter and Instagram icons which presumably link to Zoe’s own social media. A cursory scroll down also reveals the latest episode of London Bites available to listen, but Harry’s still thinking about her podcast description. “Vampires just around the corner.” He’s already getting the feeling that this piece isn’t going to be all that great of an opportunity as Mr. Turner suggested it would be. The churning in the pit of his stomach only worsens when his eyes focus on the title of her latest podcast episode just under the streaming widget.

Vampires: Friends or Foes

Vampires. Society loves to hate them. Are they really the filthy bloodsucking monsters politicians would have us believe? Probably. But join me as I share my own experiences with vamps and the stories my subscribers have shared. Who knows, maybe the results will surprise you.

It seems pretty obvious now, Zoe Price is no mundane food blogger. Instead she’s a… an antisanguinist? A sympathizer? Well, no definitely not a sympathizer if she says that vampires “probably” are all those vile things people say.

At this point Harry’s not altogether sure what to make of Zoe Price. And he’s not so sure he’s looking forward to figuring it out. Figuring her out.

He swallows down a big gulp of lukewarm blood before he clicks play and closes his eyes, allowing his body to sink deeper into the soothing lavender and chamomile oils that have mixed in with the warm water.

Hi everyone, welcome to London Bites! I’m your host Zoe and today we’ll be getting into what seems to be everyone’s favorite topic to discuss: Vampires. If you’ve been a subscriber for awhile you might remember our episode from a few weeks ago, The Londoners guide to dealing with vamps featuring guest Maggie Sinclair. If you’re new to the podcast don’t fret, you can go back and listen to self defense instructor Maggie Sinclair share all her tips and tricks for handling a vampire situation. I’ve received a lot of messages on social media since then letting me know how helpful you listeners found that episode, so as usual feel free to tell me what you want to hear and maybe it’ll make it into the podcast!

Now onto today’s business. I hope you have a snack and something to drink because today’s episode is gonna be a long one. There’s no guests today. Insert “boooo” sounds here (but not really because who has the budget and skill for that? Not me that’s for sure.

Harry’s ears prick up just the slightest bit at the laugh she lets out at her own self-deprecating joke, but otherwise he remains still and faintly tense as he waits to here what else Zoe has to say.

Today’s show is going to run a little differently than usual, but hey it’s always fun to spice things up once in awhile, right? Instead of a guest joining me, I decided to pose a question to my wonderful followers on Twitter and Instagram. What have your experiences with vampires been like? And bleeding heck you lot had many a story to share!

So without further ado I’ll get right into it. And if you’re asking yourself right now “when is Zoe going to share her own story?” well tha’s a good question and I’ll be sharing at the end so I guess you’ve got to listen to the whole episode to get to it. No one likes a podcast fast forwarder! At least I don’t.

Ah, our first story is from Amy right here in London and she said that she once saw a vampire help an old lady cross the street. Hm, well who’s t’say it even was a vampire. It’s London! The weather is absolute shite if the number of jackets I’ve got in my wardrobe is any indication. Who’s t’say it really was a vampire and not just a human whose mark was covered by his coat. I’ll just put that one down as a… maybe vampire experience.

Harry doesn’t know whether he should scoff at how very human it was for Zoe to bring up those damn marks or seethe at the notion that a vampire helping someone was impossible. Nonetheless, he finds himself rubbing the pad of his thumb over his own cross marking on the skin of his left hand, just as dark and inky black as the day he got it.

He must get lost in his thoughts, thinking back to how it felt to get the mark branded on— the excruciating, his tears as he looked over the doctor’s shoulder to find his mother’s eyes, her own solemn expression— because once Zoe’s voice floats back through his ears, she’s already in the middle of sharing someone else’s story.

We could just let the filthy leech stay in our town, Zoe, and living right by a school no less? Not on our watch. Me and a few of the guys got together and drove the bloodsucker right out. The best part was he didn’t even try to fight back! Can you believe how humiliating? If he wasn’t a disgusting monster I might’ve felt bad for the kid really, but ‘ey he got what he deserved.

Well listeners, what a harrowing account by Joshua in Liverpool. It just goes to show the lengths some vamps will go to concealing their identity and how we as citizens must be vigilant. It was great to hear that none of those children got hurt before Joshua and his friends were able to get rid of that vamp.

Harry’s breathing picks up at that, fast and loud in the quiet of his bathroom. His hands find the edges of his tub and his fingers curl over the porcelain in vice grips. That was- humans call them the monsters but when they do things like that… humans are the deluded monsters in this world.

And this, this Zoe Price. She’s just, well, it doesn’t seem like there’s a question about her being an anti now. The way she talks about vampires… pretending like she’s willing to give everyone a fair shake. Ha! Fat chance at that.

It’s then that he hears her say “it’s truly a godsend that those god forsaken leeches can’t procreate or else we’d truly have a mess on our hands trying to get not just adult vamps but their spawn too.”

He can’t slam his laptop closed fast enough. He wants to scream at all the anger bubbling up from inside his chest. These people, they don’t know anything! Harry’s disgusted at how Zoe’s voice curled around those words, how she said them as if she’s said them before. Most of all, Harry’s angry at the fact that hearing that sentiment isn’t new, far from it really. The fact this his whole life, he’s had to listen to human talk about how vamps shouldn’t have kids, how it was a good thing they couldn’t. Well, he only really started hearing the latter when he grew older, when people forgot, when he moved away from Manchester and nobody knew him or where he came from.

All the same, it makes him sick to hear and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow when he’s supposed to call this woman and set up a meeting. He doesn’t know how he’ll stand being on the phone with her let alone seeing her in person.

To stop his thoughts from swirling around in his head, he lets his body sink down until he’s submerged in his bathwater. He lets the silence overtake him and feels his tense muscles relax and his limbs grow heavy. He thinks of his mother and how mad she used to get at him when he did this as a child. He thinks about how warm her body felt as she wrapped him up in a towel and held him close to her chest and whispered how much she loved him in his ear. He thinks about how much he misses her. How now there’s no one here to pull him out of the bath and dry him off. So he stays like that, in the dark and the silence until sleep overtakes him.

---

*This fic would definitely not be written if it wasn’t for the amazing Danie @angelinsheer so thanks binch! And if you’re enjoying this fic just know that Danie’s been a huge help at planning and holding my hand through the entire writing process 😂

[lorenzo-insigne]

Anche D10S Ama Napoli

Source: The Players’ Tribune (read in italian; read in english)

Before I begin this story, I have to start by apologizing to God.

And by “God,” I mean “D10S” … Mr. Maradona.

I also want to apologize to my father.

Because when I was eight years old, I committed a sin. Maybe it’s not a sin to most people, but when you grow up in Napoli, especially when I was a kid, it was definitely a sin. I had just started playing for the football school in my area, and I really wanted some proper boots. I didn’t have any, because I wasn’t even supposed to be playing for the football school yet. I was too young, and definitely too small. 

I was a shorty! 

But I didn’t care. I wanted to play football at all costs. So one day I showed up to the football school with my older brother, and I was just supposed to be watching him. But I had other plans. I forced my way onto the field by crying all day until they let me play. Man, it was dramatic. I threw myself to the ground and acted like I was dying. And finally one of the coaches said, “O.K.! O.K.! Let the little kid in for a minute.” 

I think they just wanted to shut me up, but I guess I showed I could play, because they let me in the school with all the older kids. I was so happy, but now I needed some real football boots. Every day, I begged my father to buy me a pair, but there were two problems. 

First, my family came from very humble means. Frattamaggiore, the neighborhood where I grew up, was very difficult. At that time, there was nothing. There weren’t many jobs, and my family did not have much money to keep us going, so it was almost impossible to buy some expensive boots.

Second, I wanted a very specific pair of boots. I wanted the R9s. The boots of the genius, Ronaldo. Do you remember those? Silver, blue and yellow. They were iconic. Ronaldo had just played in the ’98 World Cup in those boots, and it was all I would talk about.

“Papa, please, please, please get me the Ronaldo boots.”

Every day. Every day.

“Please, papa, the boots!”

Thinking back on it, he probably wanted to kill me, because the only player my father ever wanted to talk about was Maradona. I grew up with only the myth of El Diego and his greatness, and of course he is a legend all over the world … 

But in Napoli? 

In Napoli?

He is like a God. My father wanted me to get some plain black boots like Maradona wore, you know? But I said, “No, you don’t understand. Ronaldo is the greatest.”

Haha! I’m sorry, Papa! I’m sorry, El Diego!

My father was a huge Napoli supporter, and of course Ronaldo played for Inter at that time, and he was making Napoli cry. But I was just a kid. I didn’t know any better, and I was obsessed with these boots. So one night, completely by surprise, my father said to me, “Come on, we’re going to the shops.”

I asked why.

He said, “We’re going to get you your boots.” 

My father definitely did not have the extra money to spend. But, somehow, he did it for me anyway, and I cannot express to you the feeling of walking the streets with him that night and searching all the sports shops in the city for those boots.

The first shop didn’t have them.

The second shop didn’t have them.

The third shop had them, but not in my size.

We walked all over town.

We went to four or five shops, with no luck. I remember it was getting dark, and I was thinking maybe it was hopeless. Finally, just as all the shops were closing for the night, the last store we went into had the R9 boots, and they had them in my size.

I know for sure — for sure — that there is one memory that will stay with me for my whole life, and it’s my father handing over the money for those boots and giving the box to me. It’s better than any gift I’ve ever received. You know, it’s funny, because as a professional footballer now, I receive so many boots for free, and after a while it loses all meaning. It doesn’t really feel like anything special.

But those boots … wow. It was an indescribable feeling putting them on, because in my mind, it was like, O.K., maybe I am small, and maybe I am from humble means, and maybe I am not even very good yet … but I am wearing these boots, and Ronaldo the genius wears these very same boots … and maybe, one day, I can become as good as him.

I am not joking — I used to clean those boots every single day. We would play on fields that were not so perfect. There was a lot of dirt and rocks, you know? So I would come home and scrub the boots with a rag, because I knew what my father had sacrificed to buy them. I wore them for so long that the shops stopped selling them, and the day that they finally broke and fell apart, I cried. I actually wept, because I cared about them so much. They were sacred to me.

Perhaps I am crazy, I don’t know. But I have always been this way, according to my family. My mother tells the story that when I was in preschool, she came to pick me up and all the kids were playing with some Lego construction blocks — building houses and castles and whatever kids do — and I was in the corner of the room kicking my feet and running around. She didn’t understand what I was doing, and then she got closer and saw that I had made a football out of some paper and I was playing by myself.

I was probably supposed to be doing my homework with that paper, but I had only one thought in my head: Football.

My dream, always, was to play in the Napoli shirt at the San Paolo. For me, there was no other dream. I didn’t play any other sports. I didn’t think about anything but football. But as I grew up and got tryouts with different youth teams — Inter, Torino, even Napoli — the scouts always told me the same thing. 

Well, actually they did not tell me. They told my father, and then he broke the news to me. And it was the same verdict every time. 

“We like him, but he’s a shorty.” 

In Italy, people are very honest like that. They all discarded me because of my height. After I was told this by Torino at 14, let’s just say that I didn’t want to play anymore. I told my family that it was useless. I was too short. Technique, strength, speed — you can just work harder and improve. But your height? What can you do? I’d wake up every morning hoping I’d grown overnight. But nothing. So I told my dad, “It’s impossible, I’m done.”

But then he said, “O.K., so what are you going to do if not football?” 

And I thought about it, and I said, “Shit, what am I gonna do?” 

So I kept playing with the local football school, and finally, Napoli came along and gave me another shot when I was 15 years old. There were so many kids at the tryout. So many. But for whatever reason, the scout saw something in me, and he chose me. When I got into the youth academy, it was just incredible because my family were always huge Napoli supporters, but we could not afford to go to many matches when I was a kid. So when I was in the youth system, I would always beg to be one of the ball boys just so I could go to the San Paolo and stand on the sidelines.

That feeling of being in the stadium, and feeling that energy as a Neapolitan … I can’t express it in words. I thought, Damn, if I can just play one match here in the Napoli shirt someday, I can die happy. 

It was funny, because when I got to play my first game with the senior team in 2010, we were playing away in Livorno. It was such a big deal for my family, obviously. Such an honor, to be a kid from Frattamaggiore, playing in the Napoli kit. And I remember after the match, we flew back home and my father picked me up at the airport, and on the drive back I said, “Is anyone from the neighborhood waiting for me?” 

And my father said, “Oh no, no, no. It’s very late. Everyone was very proud, but it’s so late and everyone went to bed.” 

I said, “Come on.” 

He said, “No, really, I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to be disappointed. There’s nobody waiting for you.” 

So, of course, we arrive at home and the whole entire neighborhood is waiting for me in the streets, and they’re singing and shooting off fireworks, and they’ve got a special cake for me and everything. It was unbelievable. Seeing my mother’s face was the best part, because she’s crazier about football than all of the boys. I’ll come home now and I’ll find her watching the replays of Napoli matches. She will be yelling at the television, and I’ll say, “Mom, what are you doing? It already happened!” 

Napoli is in our blood. And I owe everything to the club, because they stuck with me in hard times. After I made my debut in 2010, I spent two years on loan at Foggia and Pescara in the C and B leagues. 

At Foggia, I was under a manager who was a real character. Mr. Zdeněk Zeman. I knew that he was super intense, and demanded a lot from his players. But it was really funny because he was like someone from an old movie. He would make all the players come into his office and be weighed at this old metal scale every morning. But he would be smoking like a chimney in there. So you would open the door, and it was all white smoke. You could barely breathe. It felt like Milan. So one day I walked in and I said, “Mister, do you think maybe you could stop smoking when we come in?” 

He thought about it for a second. Then he took another puff, and he said, “… You can step out then.” 

I loved him. We had a great relationship. He really believed in me, and maybe it took a character like him to believe in someone like me. I scored 18 goals that season, and when Mr. Zeman got hired at Pescara the next season, Napoli let me follow him there. That was a very, very important moment. And it was a very, very important year, because I met my wife, Jenny, that year. 

If you know anything about southern Italy, it will not surprise you that I met Jenny through her cousin, who went to school with me in Frattamaggiore. Where I’m from, everybody knows everybody. Instantly, I wanted to be with her. The problem was that I was living 250 kilometers away in Pescara. 

I told her, “Come with me.” 

But again, if you know anything about southern Italy, then you already know what her parents said about that. They were not going to let her follow me. No, not a chance in the world. So I had a double motivation that season. I had to convince Napoli to bring me back, so I could live my dream of playing for the club, and also so that I could be with Jenny. 

That season, I wasn’t going to be stopped. I scored 19 goals, and after the season ended, I had a meeting with Mr. Mazzarri, the coach of Napoli. He said, “If you want a spot here, you’re going to have to conquer it yourself.” 

And I remember I said, “No problem. Ever since I grew up, no one gave me anything for free.” 

Really, nothing was going to stop me. I earned my spot. Early on that season, I scored my first goal at the San Paolo against Parma, and it was so special because we had just found out that my wife was pregnant with our first son. I grabbed the ball and put it under my shirt as a dedication to him, and I remember the crowd was singing my name. 

You cannot write about this feeling. It is something you can only experience in your heart. 

It has been six years now that I am wearing this shirt, and I still have that same emotion when I score a goal for Napoli. It means so much to me, because I am so proud to be from my city. You know, I hear some people speak bad about Napoli, and it’s very frustrating for me, because they don’t know the city. To me, it’s the best city in the world. And if you don’t believe me, just look at my teammates. Look at how many players have stayed here instead of moving to bigger clubs. Some have been here three or four seasons, and they don’t want to leave. Our captain, Marek Hamšík, the guy is Slovakian, and he’s been here for 11 years. I ask my teammates why they want to stay, and they say, “I love the city, I love the life here, I love the fans.” 

So maybe when people speak bad about Napoli, they need to wake up. Even God himself loved it here. And by God, of course I mean Mr. Maradona 🙂 

My only focus now is on winning the league title. It was extremely heartbreaking to miss out on the World Cup with Italy. There is nothing I can say that will express my disappointment. It still upsets me. But I have to close that chapter and focus on trying to win Napoli’s first scudetto in my lifetime. I want to do it for my city, my neighborhood, my friends, my family, my children. 

Every time I go out to play at San Paolo, I get goosebumps. Because I think about what it means for my family, and I think about everything my father sacrificed over the years to keep me going. I don’t know what he had to do to get that money for my boots, but I know it was a struggle. That sacrifice started the whole dream. And now I get to walk out on the pitch in my hometown, and I always get goosebumps because I think, “This is where the greatest player in the world played. This is where Maradona played.”

With all due respect to Ronaldo, now that I am older, and I know my history, I have to repent and say that Maradona is the greatest who ever lived.

Mr. Ronaldo, you had great boots. You were a genius. You were my inspiration. But I am a Neapolitan, and so I have to say that there is only one king, and his name is Diego.

Lorenzo Insigne

[myselfinserts]

I still remember the day I met you…

Odette was frustrated. She’d had to drop three clients in a single month because they kept cancelling mere seconds before their appointments were meant to start. She was struggling with getting a new version of the Atelier’s multi-tool to work properly in time for the testing phase. 

And now, she had a three week long job starting that day at ten, and because of her summer temp, she had no idea what the real name of the client was. The only reason she had accepted this client in the first place was because Harper said Kasumi needed a favor for a friend. And for whatever reason, they'd neglected to put a reasonable name on the lists.

Were it not for the fact that Harper chased off an attempted thief just a week ago, she’d have sent them back to Ena without a second thought. 

“Alberi,” she said firmly. “You will tell me who it is that I’m seeing today right now.”

Harper shrugged, taking a swig of their coffee. “It’s on the memo, boss. I already gave it to you.”

“'Battler Jewels' is not a name! It's a pseudonym based on a video game character and fancy rocks!"

"Say it three times fast before the 10 o'clock shows up, Allard. You're smarter than this."

Odette rolled her eyes, letting out a long groan. "You think saying 'Battler Jewels, Battler Jewels, Battler Jewels' is going to do anything-" She paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "I hate you so fucking much. A shitty pop culture reference on top of pop culture references? How juvenile. I should defenestrate you right now for this bullshit."

"Oh, you're feisty," Harper teased. "I like that in a goddess."

"Just who is this Beetlejuice imposter you're having me work with? Because I'm about ready to cancel their appointment."

They set down their drink with a sigh, leaning back in their desk chair with their hands behind their head. "I can't legally tell you, because this is supposed to be hush hush, but I can give you a hint. I almost put the fake name as 'Even Hansen'."

Odette felt her stomach drop. But not unpleasantly so. Just hearing the character name invoked the image of unruly, dark black hair and a red beanie. Lovely eyes bordering between amethysts and tanzanite. The star struck smile on that stupid face whenever she would walk into a room. She could almost hear the singing voice now.

"I'm going to make Kasumi pay me double for this," was all she said.

Harper burst into laughter. "Send the bill to Eira! She'll gladly pay triple!"

Odette ignored that comment and went to her work station to prepare. She only had half an hour left until the client walked in. 

This was strictly professional. 

Right away, Odette knew this wouldn’t be an easy job. 

Granted, it was far easier than her usual fair these days. She wouldn’t be doing anything extreme like redesign an entire hero ensemble or prepare new coding for whatever computer system needed it. But it wasn’t going to be easy on her quirk. She could tell just by watching as the client walked in dragging a garment rack filled with clothes and a small carry on bag behind him. He was clearly uncomfortable in that black cable knit sweater. And the way he moved in those pants screamed agony. He looked nice, save for the iconic red beanie, but in no way was he happy in those garments. 

“Hello Gladstone,” Odette greeted as pleasantly as possible. “It’s been a while.”

“Like, far too long, Clem,” Harper added, putting a long drone on the ‘far’.

“It sure has. Thank you so much for squeezing me in.” Clement smiled as best he could. “I brought a spare set of clothes to change into, but I came in this to, uh...hehe...” 

“You’re clearly uncomfortable.” Without waiting a second, Odette had Harper take the clothing to the back and took Clement to the fitting room. He insisted on keeping the carry on. “So you’re what exactly was so hush hush that it required a fake name?”

Clement blushed slightly. “Ah, that. It’s not technically a legal thing yet, but it kind of is?” He chuckled nervously. “I asked Kasumi that if she managed to get me an appointment with you, she put a fake name down so I could surprise you. And also keep my cover.”

“Cover?”

“See, no one is supposed to know I’m here until the official production starts.”

Ah. It’s an actual job that brings him to Paris. How quaint. “Am I allowed to ask what kind?”

He smiled. “A TV show. I’ve got a role as part of the main cast. We’re only booked for one season at the moment.”

She nodded in understanding. “And I’m guessing that these garments you’re wearing and brought with are your character’s typical attire?”

“Yes, and I hate it,” Clement whined. “The person in charge of costume design refuses to tell us what’s in the fabrics, but whatever it is, I’m the only one allergic to it. We don’t have time to fire them and find another designer and I’m at risk of being replaced if I don’t get this fixed.”

Odette narrowed her eyes. “There’s at least half a dozen labor laws being violated here.” Her gaze slowly turned soft. “Take off the sweater and let’s see the damage. I’m guessing you have Mither’s healing water with you?”

“Never go anywhere without it.” Slowly, Clement set his hat aside, and carefully removed the sweater. 

It took all her restraint not to gasp at the red blisters and rashes forming all over his back, shoulders, arms. The way his chest moved tightly as though it were hard to breathe. Odette carefully examined the damage, slipping on a pair of gloves so she could get a better look safely. “What the fuck did those bastards do to you?”

“I don’t know, but I’m already putting together a case to take to court, since they refused to fix this when I asked. They threatened to fire me until I said I’d fix it myself.” His smile had completely vanished now, replaced with absolute dejection. “Kasumi and Ena said they’d take care of getting me an appointment and finding a lawyer. I just need to make sure I keep this job until we’re ready to submit the case.”

Everything was starting to make a little more sense now. Odette’s job was to find out what the materials were made of and make sure Clement didn’t lose his job. 

This wasn’t just a favor. This was another one of Ena’s little schemes. 

“I suppose I could help provide a bit of leverage,” Odette said. “There’s a shower just past the breakroom for employees. Let’s get you out of these horrid things and washed up. Then I’ll take your measurements. You’ll be coming in daily so we can make sure the replica wardrobe fits and is comfortable.” She wrinkled her nose. “I just hope I don’t have to touch these things too much.”

“You and me both,” Clem agreed. “If these are miserable on me, I hate to think what it’ll feel like for you. No one deserves this torture.”

“Abolutely agreed.” She took him by the arm and dragged him to the showers, leaving him alone to get cleaned up and to prepare for the measuring. 

Harper was just coming in to refill their coffee when they saw her come out of the showers. “Not gonna stay and watch him?” they teased. “He grew up nice, didn’t ‘e?

“Shut the fuck up, Alberi,” Odette hissed. She absolutely refused to agree with them, no matter how true the statement may or may not be.

She had a job to do.

When Clem came back for the fitting, he was dressed in a very nice navy blue suit that felt like heaven under her hands. Odette wanted to keep it so that she’d have something nice on hand to touch in order to reset between the hell fabrics. But she kept herself under control and kept to her work, measuring out every seam and stretch in preparation for the task at hand. 

Clem smiled softly, watching her work through the reflection in the mirror. “I still remember the day I met you… On the roof of U.A.”

“Your cat was startled by me until you assured him I was a much better cuddle companion than yourself.” She smirked. “How is that cat doing?”

“Mr. Pickles is fantastic. Thanks for asking.” He hummed softly. “He’s currently at my apartment. Probably napping.”

“You have an apartment?”

“Yeah, production’s going to last a year. Figured it was cheaper than renting out a hotel room and eating out every night.”

“Smart move.” She relaxed a little. She wasn’t sure why she’d been so tense. Probably the stress. She’d have to go to bed early to make sure it didn’t affect her work further. “It’ll certainly make it easier to have Harper stalk you.”

“Oh god,” he laughed. “I wouldn’t mind though. It’s nice to see you both again.” His face flushed pink. “It’s really good to see you. I...missed you.”

Odette stopped for just a second. She hadn’t been expecting that. “I...suppose I also might have missed having you around. It was nice having someone worship the ground I walk on.”

His laughter grew, and Odette swore she heard him snort. “Glad to see your confidence matches your height now. You used to be shorter than me. You’re what now, 6′ 2″?”

“6′ 3″,” she corrected. “Renegade was none too happy about it at first, but then burst into the whole ‘our little babies are growing up’ charade. Papa was quite annoyed, though I feel he agreed with the sentiment in concept.” Odette smiled playfully. “What about you, petit idiot?”

“5′ 11″. Stopped growing a year into college.”

“A pity. You missed out on the Gladstone Giant Gene.”

“I guess I did.” His face grew bright red. “But...I don’t mind. I’d rather look up at the stars than tower over them, you know?”

Odette scoffed, her smile never disappearing. He wasn’t being subtle. But he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries either. No, this felt like their initial conversations. Simple banter and playful chit chat, with a little added boost to her ego thrown in for good measure. It was simple. It was comfortable. It felt natural. 

When did I start missing these little jabs?

“All done,” she said finally, writing down the last of the measurements. “I think that’s all for today. I’ll be working on the first few garments for the rest of the afternoon. Come in tomorrow and I should have at least one outfit prepared.” 

Clement nodded, slipping his beanie into his carry on. “Thanks Odette. I really appreciate this.”

“Not at all. Anything for an old friend.”

“Yeah. Right. Of course. Uh...” Nervously, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper with his name, address, and contact info on it. “I know that you probably will get it from Harper already but...if you need to contact me...or if you ever just wanna stop by and say hi-”

Odette snatched the paper immediately. “As if I’d pass up another chance to kick your ass at poker.”

Clement’s eyes lit up. “Yeah. Yeah, sounds great. And I can make us dinner. If, uh, if you like.”

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Great! Great. I’ll, uh...I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Ten sharp.”

“I’ll be here early. And I can pick you up something on the way if you want?”

“I have plenty, but thank you for the offer.” Without another word, she lead him to the front, checked him out, and sent him on his way. 

Harper peeked up from behind her computer, wiggling their eyebrows. “So? How’d it go~?”

Odette rolled her eyes. “He’s still an idiot.”

“But...?”

“...But I suppose he’s still my idiot as well.” She headed toward the back room. “Now get back to work. Ena’s got a job for us.”

“Perfect!” Harper cheered. 

Odette just sighed and went back to work. 

Never a quiet day at the Atelier. 

[suggers-got-dingled]

ok so I know it's been two whole days and everyone's probably ~~over~~  the buzz by now but I never will be until my dying day and I still have many feelings that keep bursting out in sudden rushes of weeping, smiling emotion every time I think about and look at my photos from the TV choice awards so whilst I'm finally feeling more human yet shattered and still in my bubble of happiness and daze and joy and laughter that seems to treble in potency late at night I'm here to relive the best moments from 4th September 2017 which is now officially declared National Ryan Hawley Day by his number one fan and tv husband Daniel Benedict Miller *deep breath* here we go...

getting off the Leeds to London train to find out Iain, Sally, Charlotte and John were also on it and we were completely oblivious to the fact we were sharing the same enclosed air as soap's best loved cast and most loathed man lmao (honestly we should have known from then on that it was going to be the most momentous day?!????)

seeing Iain once again as he walks past and ignores a group of very bitter robron fans whilst everyone tries their best to hold back with a couple of oooh's here and there, awkward tension that you could literally cut with a knife and comment of the night "can we all hush because he won't give us robron back at all" WHAT IS THIS TUMULTUOUS LIFE I LIVE I HIGH KEY WANTED TO LEAVE EARTH

the same very bitter robron fans forgetting about any foregoing drama, gathering together both in person and online to love and appreciate and support our boys. Meeting fans we'd spoke to for months (even years) for the first time and instantly connecting because of our mutual passion. It was just so pure???? and lovely??? and comfortable???? how happy and delighted and wrapped up in dryan we all were sat on those cold, hard floors cuddling for warmth, bonding and crying over how kind everyone was being as we posted our photos. It was one of - if not my favourite - times in the fandom (aside from the soap awards) and it made me realise why we're all still here on this rollercoaster journey

all being in a designated group waiting in anticipation for Danny and Ryan content as well as their arrival on the red carpet and making the loudest most inhumane noise as soon as the first photo was released, to say all eyes on us was an understatement IT WAS GR8

getting the news of more photos and videos and interviews and articles and reacting together it just made the experience so!! much!! more!!! special!!!

 chatting with Kate Oates for a good few minutes and her giving an awkward side eyed chuckle as we tell her we miss her and need her back HONESTLY she is such a babe and I think she just about gets our current despair lmao bless

completely missing Danny and Ryan rolling up looking a solid 12/10 as they dive straight in the door and feeling deflated but also on top of the world (pretty sure my only view was Ryan's blonde locks sticking out from the crowd of heads and I have never felt more fortunate)

deciding to sit round the front in the dark and wait for any signs of the boys whilst contemplating how and why this god damn ceremony won't just start and it ending up being THE MOST SUCCESSFUL DECISION OF ALL DECISIONS

some random man asking if we're waiting for Danny Miller because he sensed 'that vibe' I don't think I've ever related to a passer by so much in my life it was amazing 

seeing Danny first (of course, how many times does that boy want to take a cig break outside?!?!) him casually strolling over to us after he'd dealt with the sought attention on the other side whilst we're all must remain cool and collected, must try and not transport my thoughts from my brain to my mouth about how much I want to rip that suit without a tie off him and ruffle his perfect hair

him being the sarciest little shit??? "you travel about you lot don't you" were the very first words to come out of his mouth and I'm just??? thanks Danny for reminding me what a high key mess my life is it's all because of you I hope you know that!!

him saying he'd record Ryan's speech before the knowledge of him winning was actually in (LOL HE SO KNEW AND I'VE NEVER KNOWN SOMEONE BE SUCH AN ENTHUSIASTIC FANGIRL FOR RYAN HAWLEY I WOULD HAVE SOLD MY SOUL TO SEE HIS NERVOUS BEAMING LIL FACE THE MOMENT HIS NAME WAS ANNOUNCED)

Danny saying Ryan said he'd come out to see us later and us being all *insert everybody calm down it's happening gif here*

THE MOMENT WE FOUND OUT RYAN HAD INDEED WON BEST ACTOR AND NOW BOTH OUR BOYS WERE AWARD WINNING ACTORS there were genuine tears of merriment with hands clasped over faces it was a beautiful sight to behold and I've never been as ecstatic  

Danny coming out (again) once the show was over and Emmerdale had smashed yet another award show, us applauding from a distance and Danny cheering with us from the other side of the road

us getting told to be quiet by the security for the hundredth time that night

 then the biggest blur of the century occurring almost immediately afterwards as Danny tells us he's gonna bring the winning man out to us not even giving us chance to compose ourselves

A WILD RYAN HAWLEY APPEARS WITH THE BIGGEST GRIN ON HIS FACE CLUTCHING HIS SHINY AWARD AND MY LUNGS NEARLY GIVE IN

DANNY FOLLOWS RIGHT BEHIND HIM LOOKING SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY AND PROUD OF HIM HE WAS ON THE BIGGEST HIGH AND I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN HIM LIKE THAT EVEN WHEN HE'S WON HIMSELF, HE HAS SO MUCH SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR HIS CO STARS IT'S SO UPLIFTING

RYAN'S FACE AS HE HEADED TOWARDS TO US WHEN HE TURNED HIS HEAD AND SAW US ALL THERE I'M LITERALLY NEVER GETTING OVER IT him straight away asking us if we'd voted, thanking us for doing so whilst telling us how much winning means to him with his dedicated adorable speech. Him saying he thought John would win and being totally shocked, he genuinely never expected it all and he was so grateful and appreciative as everyone was congratulating him and singing our proud praises WHY IS HE SO FUCKING LIFE RUININGLY LOVEABLE AND ADORABLE AND MODEST HE'S THE CUTEST ANGEL I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIS SMILE AND HIS SWEET WORDS

Ryan just melting my heart to mush and reminding me why I hold so much admiration for him I'm just so honoured to have seen him right after his win and so unbelievably pleased we could show him outright the love he deserves and has instead of hearing it from second person IT WAS SO CHILLED AND SO PLEASANT TO SEE RYAN SO RELAXED MEETING US I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN HIM SO AT EASE AT A TIME WHEN HE ACTUALLY LEAVES HIS HOUSE (the drinks and Danny’s company probably helped)

DANNY JUST STANDING BACK AND LETTING RYAN DO HIS THING AS HE PRACTICALLY PUSHES HIM TOWARDS US EMOTIONAL AWAITING FANS I'm getting flutters in my tummy typing this out why am I like this why do they do this to me like???? what the fuck??? he just started filming randomly after he purposely went inside to bring him out and let him know there's plenty of people who are proud of him??? like he needed to witness him all there with us and he came out with him as backup because he wanted to record the moment we all gave him double the love he gives him on a daily basis I will never ever ever ever recover from this HOW WILL IT SINK IN HELP ME

us being completely unaware that Danny was filming at first and then just being in a state of belief about it, after we found out it was on Instagram and watched it back it was meltdown I tell you I have never been so thankful to be hidden behind a bush LMAO WILL I EVER GET OVER DANNY GLADLY EXPOSING US ALL AND CAPTURING THE FOCUS OF MY FRIEND JADE AND HER LIL CONFUSED WAVE NO I WILL NOT IT MAKES MY LIFE LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE

Danny getting us into trouble by the security for the third time that night and him just howling about the fact whilst carrying on filming despite the professional demands HE'S JUST WALKING AROUND FILMING HIS KING WHY THEY GOTTA RUIN THE VIBE IDC IF PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING RYAN HAWLEY AND DANNY MILLER ARE WITHIN REACHING DISTANCE IN THE SAME ZONE LET US ENJOY THE EUPHORIA

Danny being a cheeky, playful little shit 2.0 "where's that video going then" "never you mind" *smug smile and wink* "you so knew Ryan had won didn't you that's why you said you'd film the iconic moment for us???" "oh I can’t tell you that can I" *another smug smile and wink* I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART

A DRYAN PHOTO MY FUCKING DREAM COME TRUE I WAS SHOOKETH TO THE CORE I STILL AM I CAN'T STOP WEEPING OVER IT EVERY TIME I CATCH A GLIMPSE OF MY LOCK SCREEN

explaining what being shooketh is to Danny and hearing that word from the horse's mouth what a weird encounter

ridiculously happy Ryan Hawley holding his award up in every single photo like a proud child receiving their first medal with a school sticker smile IT'S ALL I NEED IN LIFE HE'S SO PRECIOUS

Ryan still finding the time to be the caring dad being concerned about how fans are going to get home, introducing himself with a handshake and reassuring them with a "don't be nervous" I was all awwwww'd out it's just sheer lunacy I can't cope with him

DANNY COMPLAINING ABOUT GIN AND TONIC BEING £20 SAYING RYAN CAN GET THE DRINKS IN SEEN AS HE WON AND DIRECTING HIS NEED TO GET WRECKED IN RYAN'S INFLUENCED AND BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS AURA "let's go get fucked" - that both ends my life and resurrects me every time it crosses my mind p l e a s e

us being all I LOVE ROBRON, hugging and just genuinely being inconsolable after the power duo said bye and headed off to enjoy the party together like there's so many mixed up memories it was that overwhelming and surreal I think I'm still in the midst of a dryan hangover

walking round London at midnight on autopilot and a delusional bubble just going through the motions breathless with no idea where we are or what we're doing, not even looking when crossing the road, nearly getting run over and not even caring because if we died right there and then we'd die at peak levels of happiness

heading back on a 5hr megabus journey just absolutely shook to the core, recapping and waking up from two hours of broken sleep turning to each other and being like OH MY GOD WE ACTUALLY GOT A PICTURE WITH DANNY AND RYAN

I ended up walking through Leeds at gone 6am in the pissing down rain, my onesie and no makeup but it was well worth it to see Emmerdale sweep the board clean and the two men I owe my life to TOGETHER! IN! THE! FLESH! Honestly I wish I could bottle up the moments and the feelings and just dish it out for everyone to experience because literally nothing compared.

I really do have such an overwhelming amount of love for Danny and Ryan and I'm about to cry again like wow they are just too cute I've never seen a friendship so heartwarming, two people being so loving and tender and supportive towards each other in real life whilst being in a constant cycle of snogging, fighting, problem facing, soul consuming and devoting deeply onscreen. I'm still in disbelief I can't even concentrate on reality nothing else matters but them those two married tv husbands and I don't think I'll ever love anyone more. I was just here living a normal, basic life being a normal, basic human being and then dryan came along and changed everything hehehehe the pain. Seriously, Emmerdale has destroyed every particle of my sanity lately but it's times like this when it hits me that there's no denying they own my ass completely EVEN ON MY DEATH BED THE EVENING OF THE 4TH SEPTEMBER 2017 WILL STILL BE THE LAST I SPEAK OF DESPITE THE REST OF MY DIRE INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL LIFE EVENTS CONTINUING AS I GROW OLD

[cabinboy100]

BABY DRIVER: Take a Ride w/Edgar Wright's Rockin' Wheelman

Thanks to the Brattle Theatre and the Independent Film Festival of Boston, I got to watch BABY DRIVER at an advance screening last week!

It is a gorgeous musical roller coaster ride of a film. Writer and director Edgar Wright supercharges another beloved cinematic icon-slash-genre—the Wheelman or Driver—with his remarkable style, vision, wit, and rhythm. While not *a* musical, per se, BABY DRIVER is very musical, delivering snappy dialogue, sharp looks, slick moves, death-defying driving, and brutal gunplay, all choreographed to a soundtrack beautifully interwoven with the film…

There's not a lot more to say, really, beyond additional superlatives upon superlatives, and I don't want to go into scenes or characters too deeply and give up any of the fun. I think I'll just let one of the trailers do the talking…

Bottom line—GO SEE THIS MOVIE! And see it IN THE THEATER!

[rant] And for Space Pope's sake, do NOT take your phone out for any reason while the movie is running. You just paid $10 to $20 for this amazing experience! We live in an age of wonder that allows you to ignore a movie for free at home. Save the spacebooking, twitting, and txting for later. Or if you're gonna do that, or even look at a message on your annoyingly-bright-in-a-darkened-theater phone, get out of your seat, walk to an exit, behind a barrier, or *maybe* the back wall, out of anyone's view, and then have a look, respond if you must, and get back to the show. If you're waiting on your wife to finish delivering, or the funeral parlor's supposed to call about Pop's arrangements, or you're expecting a call from the doctor with those test results—WTF are you doing at the movies? If your phone lights up and you can see it, believe me, everyone next to and behind you can see it. Keep it in your pocket. If you see someone next to or near you futzing w/a screen, do everyone a favor, be your own (and my) hero, and ask them to put it away or take it outside. [/rant]

Beware, beyond this point, I'm gonna start lobbing spoilers into my rambling. So, exit pursued by a bear now if you haven't seen BABY DRIVER already!

CRITS (oh-so-minor, probably more like backhanded compliments).

I don't feel the heart in this that I do in the Cornetto films. Those films—SHAUN OF THE DEAD, HOT FUZZ, THE WORLD'S END—had relationships at their centers. But I have to say that my not feeling that with BABY DRIVER is very fair and true to the driver genre. You don't get the warm fuzzies thinking about BULLITT, THE BLUES BROTHERS, or THE FRENCH CONNECTION, right? Well, okay, maybe THE BLUES BROTHERS. =)

The characters tend to be flat and archetypal, taking a back seat *sorry-not-sorry* to the action and style. Wright does get me rooting for some of the baddies along the way, because of their professionalism, circumstance, charisma, and, well, moral relativism. And while they may be flat, they own their two dimensions and are memorable, essential, love- and hate-able in their own ways.

Of course, we know who we're rooting for—our Baby on board.

Maybe this isn't fair to BABY DRIVER, but I'd *just* seen Walter Hill's THE DRIVER, right before it, and was so frickin' impressed with its style and tension and story-slash-chase-telling cinematography. I found myself wanting more from the final car-v-car showdown in BABY. I feel like both Wright's BABY DRIVER and Refn's DRIVE put their tightest and tautest chase set piece at the start of their films. They are a-ma-zing intros to each film experience, but greedy me, I want even higher peaks in the middle and the end.

Oh, don't get me wrong—there ARE more peaks, gorgeously choreographed, executed, shot, and edited peaks, throughout. It's been a week now and I still feel my thoughts are vibrating from the experience.

I'm gonna see it again, so maybe I'll revisit this notion of the "starting with dessert" problem, if that's what it is. Maybe it was having THE DRIVER on my palate affecting my perspective…

LOVES.

I love the reason that Baby is always listening to his music. I don't know which movie or story first used music as a way to time and count off the steps to a heist—at the moment I can only think of HUDSON HAWK =) —but I was almost surprised that that seemed to be what was happening with Baby's character in the film's opening chase scene (w/Buddy, Darling, and Griff). It almost seemed too, well, easy…y'know, for Edgar Wright. But it *is* Edgar Wright, so we know he's gonna do something brilliant with it.

Yeah, I know. Sometimes I wish I could watch a movie with my 9-yo brain, and not think so much.

Then we see Baby on his apparently regular walk to Octane coffee, and in a beautiful "Harlem Shuffle" music video starring Baby against the graffiti of Atlanta streets, we learn that music permeates every moment of Baby's life. Man, when Debora walks by outside the shop in front of the rainbow heart—so simply perfect. =)

And I'm pretty sure that when he retraces his steps, "Shake Shake" has been added to a column or wall that had "Right" on the way in.

Later we learn that there's more method to Baby's madness for music. Doc explains that he suffers from tinnitus, and music helps keep the ringing in his ears at bay. Later still, we learn that he has a habit of recording much of what he hears, using the audio as samples in musical creations of his own. I really wish we'd been able to see him create some more of those, and/or hear more from his extensive library.

WRIGHTS.

Some little bits of fun that I feel are somehow Wright-ian, whether intended by the director or not. =)

J.D., of Bats's crew, is given a simple assignment—pick up three HALLOWEEN Michael Myers masks for use in the robbery. What does he show up with? Three Mike Myers (as Austin Powers) Halloween masks. When questioned about his cluelessness, one of the gang tries to clarify—The Bad Guy from HALLOWEEN, the movie! To which he replies—Oh! You mean Jason! And hey—What's Buddy's real name? Jason! As in Jason from FRIDAY THE 13th? As in the guy who keeps getting killed by never dies?

(This exchange inspired me to goof a BABY DRIVER: Halloween the 13th meta-mashup poster = )

And what's Baby's real name? M I L E S of course!

Hrm…Good thing Wright didn't make this movie on the continent somewhere or in Canada or his name would've been Kilometers! *groan*

Bananas! Doc reveals that's the phone call confirmation code word he receives from his contacts after a successful interaction. Darling reacts to the playing of one of Baby's tapes—"Is he slow?"—with B-A-N-A-N-A-S. When the Butcher's Atlanta PD colleagues show up for revenge on Doc, they give him the code word—"Bananas!"—along with some hot lead.

The invisible camera returns! In WORLD'S END, Wright shoots a scene between Simon Pegg and Rosamund Pike in the restroom of a pub with the camera pointed squarely at the mirror on the wall. Sure, it could be digital magic, but I can't help but wonder if Wright has pulled off some practical magic. Just the right lighting combined with a glass plate at the correct complementary angle or something? Well, whatever he did then, he does again in…I want to say at least two shots—maybe three, with reflections in a car exterior?—in BABY DRIVER. My lame brain is now only recalling one, tho, in a pan across the washing machines of a laundromat, a sweet bit of Courtship, American Style.

Yeah, probably some "simple" digital trickery…But maybe only for the last 10% that some Houdini-like stage magic couldn't quite cover? I want to know but don't want to. =)

And speaking of courtship—I kind of adore how Baby sharing his earbuds with Debora physically connects them while they're moving around the laundromat and talking. It turns their conversation into a sweet dance number. A bit of Wright magic.

Becky & Ella? In the elevator down to P1, P2, and P3 after the first job, Buddy promises to take Darling to Bacchanalia, for the best wining and dining around, or something to that effect. When Debora presses Baby for an idea on where they'll go out, he tells her what sounds like "Becky and Ella" for the best wining and dining around. NB: Found out Bacchanalia *is* an actual ATL restaurant, but I don't believe we ever see its name or signage on screen.

I WONDER…

About the "Spirit of 85" or whatever it was called. Doc mentions it to help establish Baby's cred. Apparently Baby tied the Atlanta PD in knots on what sounded like a crazy prolonged chase involving a cloverleaf interchange of highways. I think the word "spaghetti" was used? No doubt native Atlantans will appreciate the description of the feat. Baby's Kessel Run? =)

Oh, man! Who is responsible for Baby's wardrobe? For half if not most of the film, he is strategically yet uncannily decked out in duds that scream "Han Solo" to me. I'm talking A NEW HOPE—black vest over white shirt with dark pants.

(Baby’s taste in clothes—as well as his backstory and talents—inspired this BABY DRIVER: Nerf Herder mashup… =)

After the film, I was told that our Baby, Ansel Elgort, had been on the short list for the young Han Solo film. I honestly had no idea as I did and do my best to block that sort of "news" as much as possible when it comes to films I'm looking forward to.

Was this Wright, Elgort, or another member or members of the crew expressing their support for HANsel? I have no idea how the timelines of young Solo casting and BABY DRIVER shooting line up. But if the decision was made before shooting, maybe Ansel’s turn as Baby becomes a kind of what-could-have-been/what-you-missed strutting? =)

When I heard about the LEGO MOVIE directors being dismissed from the project, I thought that maybe they'd seen BABY DRIVER and realized that Edgar Wright had already made the movie—what's the point now? =)

And in the Hollywood minute before Ron Howard was announced, I wondered if maybe BABY DRIVER might possibly be the perfect proof of capabilities for Wright as the new director. Alas—*sigh*—not to be.

I wonder just what the heck happened with Disney/Marvel/ANT-MAN and Wright.

CINEMA SERENDIPITY…

I love it when my experience of films and shows connect in little unexpected ways…

Last week, I got to see Edgar Wright's amazing action jukebox, BABY DRIVER. The next night, I caught Kumail Nanjani and Emily Gordon's hilarious, heart-warming and -punching rom-coma-com, THE BIG SICK. And tonight, a week later, experienced Bong Joon Ho's OKJA on the big screen before it streams on Netflix.

Yeah, none of that connects on paper, but in my head it's a different story… =)

In THE BIG SICK, Kumail and Emily's non-dating dates reveal his obsession with cricket and appreciation of zombies, which of course would logically add up to a SHAUN OF THE DEAD poster on his bedroom wall. That's some solid math, and reminded me that I've followed some twitter exchanges between them about movies (about ROGUE ONE, Riz Ahmed, representation, and a buddy heist film).

The content of OKJA does not directly connect to anything Wrightian (as far as I could tell on a first viewing), but Bong Joon Ho's previous film, the must-see sci-fi fable SNOWPIERCER, features Jamie Bell as a character named Edgar, apparently named for Wright. That note, plus the fact that Edgar was best buddy of Chris Evans's Curtis, inspired a couple of mashup posters, one of them a meta-mashup starring SCOTT PILGRIM's Lucas Lee.

Yeah, like I said…it's all in my head.

Why do I have a feeling like this will be read back to me in court at a later date?

BABY DRIVER AT AN ADVANCE SCREENING…?

Oh—how did I get to see all these films in the theater? And before their wide release dates? The Brattle Theatre and the Independent Film Festival of Boston are my enablers-slash-suppliers. If you're Boston-local and love moviegoing, I *highly* recommend you check their schedules and membership privileges, join/donate/support either or both, and see some amazing movies!

Allright, enough a-ramblin'. If you made it this far, I'm sorry and thanks much. Now, get thee to the theater and BABY DRIVER up!

Keep on keepin’ on~

[junker-town]

PGA Championship 2017 picks and predictions: Rory McIlroy is the one to block Jordan Spieth's slam pursuit

The 99th PGA Championship at Quail Hollow is loaded with hype and the potential for history. Here are some picks and predictions for the weekend in Charlotte.

The final men's major championship of the year is here, and it's the most hyped in a long time. The PGA Championship got a huge boost when Jordan Spieth won the Claret Jug less than three weeks ago, setting the stage for potential history at Quail Hollow. Spieth can become the youngest ever to complete the career slam. But we're at a course where maybe his contemporary rival and challenger for the next two decades, Rory McIlroy, has feasted and is the favorite.

It has all set up an incredible dynamic that is just a part of the 99th PGA. Here are some picks, predictions, and points to watch for this week in Charlotte.

Jordan Spieth stopped the streak of first-time major winners. But there's still a loaded crop waiting to breakthrough. Who are some of the top candidates to get their first major this week?

Emily: Rickie Fowler and Hideki Matsuyama are the obvious candidates, with a bit of Matt Kuchar sprinkled into the mix. Sadly for them, they’ll all walk away from Quail Hollow with the “best golfers without a major” label still intact.

Brendan: We've gotten caught up a bit in the Spieth vs. Rory hype over the last two weeks and neglected some of the potential first-timers that fit this course perfectly. Rickie doesn't have quite the track record of Rory, but as Kyle pointed out yesterday in his power rankings, it's pretty dang good. And the same goes for Hideki, who just burned Firestone to the ground with a Sunday 61 and ran away from one of the deepest fields of the year. That kind of tee-to-green game that sets up for Firestone will play well here too (it plays well everywhere, of course, the advantage just might be greater at a setup like this). These two have as good a chance to win this week as Rory and Spieth.

Kyle: I think we’re all in agreement that Rickie & Hideki are the low-hanging fruit here, so let’s reach a bit higher on the tree -- but not much. I want to toss Thomas Pieters name in here. He’s got all the game in the world and perfect here, but I think he’s still a bit green on the big stage. We’ve seen some nervy play at the Olympics, Masters, and last week at Firestone when contending in big events on the weekend. Sometimes you have to walk before you run, and sometimes you have to win a WGC or a Rolex event before we talk major championship.

I really, really like Justin Thomas in theory here at Quail. He’s the quintessential American player for the American game — big drives, hits it miles in the air — and I think we’re set to favor those type of players this week. It’s gonna be wet, it’s gonna be long. Perfect conditions to boom it & stick it. JT seems built to win a PGA, and perhaps it’s this one.

Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

Is this finally the week Rickie gets one?

Who is your darkhorse pick to win, or just contend (ideally odds 60/1 or higher)?

Brendan: The PGA, in theory, is the hardest major to win. You have the full top 100 in the world rankings on hand. The Masters field isn't even 100 players total, with a swath being past champions and amateurs. The two Opens also have large chunks of their field reserved for qualifiers and other longshots or unexpected entrants. The PGA ensures everyone that's at the top of the game is in the field, so there's so many "darkhorse" picks with great value down the board. Tony Finau at 100/1 is good value, given his strokes gained off-the-tee advantage. Kevin Chappell, at 80/1, is a trendy pick this week given his season-long form and ability to boom it.

There's just a lot to like with longer odds but I'll give you just those two for fear of becoming one of those guys that rattles off an enormous list of names so they can say "they had that one" after the fact. That's a scourge these days.

Kyle: Yeah, there’s a ton to like on down the board here. There’s a reason I think this is golf’s best major championship. It’s a deep field as Brendan said, and it’s often on the best setup. If you parse through all the sanctimony of the other three majors and just want to see a really quality championship, here’s often the best place to look. (I’ll admit that wasn’t the case last year)

I’ll like bold picks, so I’ll give you two young names both with triple-digit odds to win: Xander Schauffele (100/1) and Patrick Rodgers (200/1). I’m all in on X after strong finishes at the last two majors, he bombs it, and should be your PGA Tour Rookie of the Year. As for Rodgers, we’re probably overdue to have him contend in a major. His professional career hasn’t yet materialized like his record-setting collegiate days at Stanford, but a T-2 here in 2015 behind Rory should give you some optimism if you’re looking waaaaay down the board for good value. I don’t know if either win, but I think both are solid bets to contend here.

Emily: Ian Poulter (80/1) has had a resurgent last few months after Brian Gay helped him keep his PGA Tour card for the season. He won’t win this week and will have to rid himself of memories of his T61 finish at the 2016 Wells Fargo Championship at Quail Hollow, but he did have a T5 on the Charlotte track in 2009 so he could contend this week. Or not.

Which big name, or names, are the best candidates to disappoint and exit before the weekend?

Rob Schumacher-USA TODAY Sports

Life is grand for the newly-married Sergio, and he’s been absurdly consistent over the past couple seasons in majors. Is it too much to ask for him to contend coming off wedding season?

Emily: Bubba Watson — The two-time Masters champ is having a down season and teeing it up at Quail Hollow — where he posted his third of three missed cuts the last time around the Charlotte track in 2013 — won’t fix what ails him. But, hey, in a season of caddie musical chairs, he and Ted Scott are still a team so he has that going for him.

Brendan: I don't have any great candidates here for this particular major, which I suppose is a good thing. Bubba is always a fit for this spot and you've covered him already, Emily. I have lower expectations for Jason Day, but I still find it hard to believe he'll miss the cut. Perhaps Phil Mickelson misses his second straight major cut in what has become quite a lost year for the lefty.

Kyle: I have a confession: I’m a little concerned about Sergio this week. Okay, maybe not concerned. Kenny G just played his wedding and he’s clearly living his best life post-Masters win. But, we’re kinda overdue for Sergio to miss a cut. If there’s a time you’d be excused to no-show in a major, it’s coming off your danged wedding.

The upshot? Sergio doesn’t miss cuts anymore! Like ever! It’s been over a full calendar year since El Nino last missed a cut, since last year’s PGA in July. He’s made 20 straight worldwide, and missed exactly two in the last two years. That’s damn impressive. Tiger damaged our senses for appreciating consistency.

What do you expect from Quail Hollow, a PGA Tour venue during the regular season, as a major championship setup?

Brendan: I think Quail Hollow will work out fine as a major championship test, although we've heard some slight grumbling already about some of the Tom Fazio redesigned holes on the front nine. For the most part, the players seem diplomatic about the changes. And it's a course they have loved as a regular stop on the PGA Tour schedule. What may be dissatisfying to the TV viewer or the architecture nerd is not necessarily the view on the ground among those playing these courses at the highest levels.

The PGA has provided some of the best major championship drama of the past five years. Is the PGA still the fourth major? If last, why? Will a schedule change do anything for the PGA's identity or prestige?

Kyle: No. God no. Absolutely not. The schedule change is a horrible move that robs the PGA of any identity it had in the first place. Consider where the PGA’s been played, historically: the Midwest and Northeast.

The championship’s iconic venues that have provided excellent championships are all in cold-weather locales. Hazeltine in Minnesota. Medinah in Chicago. Baltusrol in New Jersey. Whistling Straights in Wisconsin. Oak Hill in upstate New York. Valhalla in Louisville. Oakland Hills in Detroit. Sure, sure -- weather is decent in May in many of those places, but it’s the months leading up that create the concern. You can’t prep a course for a major in March and April in cold temperatures, and it’s a strong possibility those great tracks are all axed from the rota.

What does that mean? More pro golf in areas that are already over-saturated with Tour stops: the Southeast, Calfornia, and perhaps Texas. No thanks!

Emily: Scheduling the event in May rather than August could give the event some momentum and may change the perception that the PGA is the little brother of the three other majors. This year, coming just three weeks after the British Open and seven days after the Women’s British Open, the PGA is most definitely the fourth major and reeks of majors-overload.

Brendan: I've heard several persuasive arguments for why this schedule reshuffling is good for golf and different golf organizations. I've yet to hear a really compelling one for why it's good for the PGA, which is, you know, the one event making the biggest move. I think the PGA Tour is a huge winner here, getting The Players back to March and now having all of August to get their FedExCup Playoffs done before football owns the sports landscape. I thought the PGA was an underrated and great major and perfectly suited for August, when there's little competition. It may not have the identity of the other three, but it's been a great championship in recent years (save for the Baltusrol bore of 2016).

Expectations for:

Phil Mickelson

Brendan: Phil has a strong track record here and has professed adoration for the course, but the 2017 languishing continues. I know it's facile to point at the very obvious change and cite that as a cause for concern, but I do think he's trying to find his way in the immediate events following the Bones separation.

Kyle: I’ll ask the uncomfortable question: Are we past the point where we seriously consider Phil a viable contender at 47? It’s starting to feel like last year’s duel at Troon with Henrik was kinda, like, it. He always plays well at Quail, but if not now, when?

Emily: Lefty misses Bones but not the cut this week at Quail Hollow, where he has nine top-10 finishes in 13 starts.

Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

Rory and his new caddie, best friend Harry Diamond.

Rory McIlroy

Kyle: This might be a golf litmus test for Rory this week. Let me explain.

I’m a believer in horses-for-courses, and there’s no horse more suited to a course than Rory McIlroy to Quail Hollow. He’s the favorite, and I’d be inclined to say he’s an overwhelming favorite. We’ve had this penciled in as a Rory major win since Quail was announced as a venue, and it’s his tournament to lose. That’s a ton of pressure to put on the back of a player in a fickle sport, but we know how much he loves this golf course.

Now, if he doesn’t show up at all and ejects early? It’s probably due time to raise a round of valid questions about Rory moving forward.

Emily: If Jordan Spieth says Rors is the “guy to beat,” who am I to disagree? With his game rounding into form, his confidence sky high, the event one of his favorites (he has two Wanamaker Trophies to prove it), and this week’s tourney at one of the courses he enjoys most, McIlroy’s a good bet to hoist the hardware for his fifth major. But he’ll have to battle Dustin Johnson for the honor and this is just not Rory’s year.

Jordan Spieth

Brendan: While Spieth does keep exceeding expectations and hitting milestones that put him in territory with Jack and Tiger, I don't expect him to make history and become the youngest ever to win the career slam. He's got 25 more years of trying at the PGA and I think he's still coming down off the high of that Open finish. He also said on Sunday that he needs to get his putting right. Spieth's been too good this summer to just flop out, so I think he'll be inside the top 15 come Sunday, but I don't expect him to go back-to-back. It's just too hard.

Kyle: Yeah, winning back-to-back is just really hard to do. Upshot? JS has already done it once. I don’t think Quail in wet conditions is suited for what Jordan does well. I’d be shocked to see him miss the cut, but I’d also be shocked to see anyone other than a big hitter win here this week.

Emily: It’s wait ‘til next year for the next Tiger Woods’ chance to complete the career grand slam.

Dustin Johnson

Brendan: This is where the No. 1 player in the world re-joins the battle. He's been mostly absent since his tumble down the stairs at the Masters, a point in the season where it seemed he was unstoppable. He's not been the same since. Given the first quarter of the year, it seemed safe to think he'd get a second career major in 2017 on some courses built for his strengths. Quail Hollow favors the big hitters more than almost any major championship track ever, and DJ does that as well as anyone. I think DJ is back contending for a major this week, but comes up just shy with a T2 finish.

Kyle: Sorry. Call me a curmudgeon, but I’ve sold my stock in DJ, Inc. February was a long time ago, and DJ’s been a non-factor in the majors this year. Perhaps we’re seeing some regression to the mean. Bob Garrigus has more top-10s this summer than DJ. Not good!

Who wins the Wanamaker Trophy? And what's the winning number?

Emily: Dustin Johnson — After clocking the longest drive on the PGA Tour since 2013 Thursday at Firestone (a skull-imploding 439 yards!), it would appear the big guy’s back, which he injured ahead of the Masters, forcing him to withdraw, is no longer a problem. And after closing the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational with 68-66 over the weekend, DJ told reporters at Quail Hollow that he was “finally coming back into [pre-Augusta] form.” That’s bad news for the rest of the field, especially with the world No. 1 predicting “a very good week” for himself. Save time and just etch his name on the Wanamaker now since the 2016 U.S. Open champ will cruise to a 15-under winning score (says this Golfstradamus who’s 0-for-2017 so far).

Brendan: I have come to make the chalkiest chalkity chalk pick I think I've ever delivered in this space in some five years of doing these. I've been making fun of all the people who drone on about Rory McIlroy having this great track record here and the advantage he's got at Quail Hollow, as if it's breaking news or some key insight. I've looked for other options. But I'm not comfortable with one and it would be a dereliction of duty just to pick a different winner when I truly love the Rory pick. So I'm adding to the chorus, jumping on the bandwagon, whatever terrible cliche you want to use.

His length off the tee is an enormous advantage and like Spieth at Augusta, things just happen for him here. He loves the place so much that the other parts of his game that have been weaknesses — approach shots, putting — actually get better too, creating a deadly combo with that driver. It just clicks and he gets super aggressive. It feels like picking the Warriors to win the NBA title or the Patriots to win the AFC East, which is an absurd comparison to make in a fickle game like golf with 156 players in the field. But the choice is Rory McIlroy (at 12-under).

Kyle: Brendan’s talking about me. That’s me. I’m the idiot droning on and on about how obvious it is that Rory’s going to win this golf tournament. I’ve literally been doing it for years. This is the place he broke out, the place he loves, the place he’s dominated. He’s rounding into form. We’re overdue for a Rory major. Check. Check. Check. This seems too obvious. Anointing any one player as an overwhelming favorite to win any one event fails to understand how golf -- and math -- works. I’m going to do it anyway. Rory will win this golf tournament. It will be fun and awesome.

Keep in mind: I’m almost always violently wrong about everything, so we’re probably due for, like, a Grayson Murray win this week. So help us all.

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

'DWTS' Week 5 Preview: Bonner Bolton's 'Very Different' Tango, Normani Kordei's 'Macho' Moves & More!

The magic of Disney is coming to life in the ballroom!

It's week five of Dancing With the Stars, and the remaining nine couples will each be dancing to catchy tunes while dressed as some of the brand's most iconic characters as "Disney Night" kicks off Monday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

Ahead of their sure-to-be fun, lively and energetic performances, ET's breaking down everything you need to know!

WATCH: 'Dancing With the Stars' Week 4 Dance Recap: Best Lifts, Kicks, Tricks and Flips!

Who's on top of the leaderboard?

1. Rashad Jennings and Emma Slater: 39/40 2. Simone Biles and Sasha Farber: 36/40 3. Heather Morris and Maksim Chmerkovskiy/Alan Bersten: 35/40

Who's in danger of elimination?

Erika Jayne and Gleb Savchenko were in the bottom two last week, and after receiving the lowest score (30/40) from the judges during Most Memorable Year night, we have a feeling this might be it for #TeamPrettyXxspensive. However, Nick Viall and Peta Murgatroyd tied with them for last place last week, so who actually goes home will be down to who received the most votes from fans! Guess we'll have to wait and see…

There will be multiple live performances!

ABC promises a "spectacular" opening number featuring the night's master of ceremonies, DWTS season 19 champion Alfonso Ribeiro. The network teases there will be singing and dancing to an original song with the entire cast. While we don't know too many details just yet, pro dancer Emma Slater did share this group pic, which was taken during rehearsals for the piece on Thursday. (Psst! We now know the dance was choreographed by Mandy Moore, the mastermind behind the magical moves in La La Land):

Also taking the stage to perform live is singer ZZ Ward. She'll be singing her new song, "Ride," from Cars 3, as David Ross and Lindsay Arnold show off their best jive skills.

Additionally, Auli'i Cravalho will perform "How Far I'll Go" from her leading role in Moana, as Simone Biles and Sasha Farber take on contemporary.

Normani Kordei and Val Chmerkovskiy, who are dancing the Paso Doble this week, will also perform to a live song, as Donny Osmond will belt out "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan.

Sharna Burgess wants fans to know why Bonner Bolton probably will score low this week.

Ahead of week five, the red-headed beauty went live on her Facebook with the professional bull rider, teasing what's to come when they hit the ballroom. Burgess explained that the two will be dancing a Wreck-It Ralph themed tango to Owl City's "When Can I See You Again?," which will be a challenge for Bolton.

Last January, the 29-year-old athlete suffered a near-fatal injury when he was bucked off the back of a bull, resulting in a slew of surgeries. To this day, he still has a lot of pain in all areas of his body, especially his neck. Unfortunately, the tango requires a lot of fast, sharp neck movements, which Bolton won't be able to physically master on Monday.

"A big characteristic of tango is that head snap, when you go into promenade position, it snaps really fast and then it stops," she explained. "B can't do that, and it's a huge characteristic, so we're doing it as much as we can, and putting that movement in there, and using the legs to make it staccato, but I sort of want it to be known, 'cause I don't want the judges to stand there and say, 'You didn't snap your head fast enough' when he physically can't do it."

"This is going to be a very different kind of tango," she added. "Usually tango is fiery, passionate and fierce, and this is very childlike, playful and fun … we're gonna spike [Bonner's hair], I'm gonna be Vanellope and have this black wig on, and a whole world of things. It's gonna be awesome!"

And get this! While Burgess is known for her unique choreography, she revealed #TeamDenimNDiamonds' routine this week is actually inspired by a Super Mario Bros. piece Mark Ballas choreographed for his season 19 partner, Sadie Robertson, which you can watch below:

Expect some "very macho" moves from #TeamValmani.

Normani has officially wrapped her tour with Fifth Harmony, which allows her and Val to fully focus on Dancing With the Stars now. When ET crashed one of their rehearsals last week, they teased the intensity of the choreography viewers will see as they make their way to the center of the ballroom.

"First of all, we're doing the Paso Doble," Val said. "It's a very macho dance, I'm trying to get into the mood. There's a lot of karate."

"We just talked about having fun, and she's going to have fun, and if Normani's having fun, then the audience is going to be like, 'Wow, amazing,'" he continued. "So [when I'm choreographing] I prioritize her, I prioritize our viewers and then I prioritize the judges."

What are the other couples dancing to?

Erika Jayne & Gleb Savchenko Viennese Waltz, "Unforgettable" by Sia from Finding Dory

Rashad Jennings & Emma Slater Foxtrot, "Evermore" by Josh Groban from Walt Disney Pictures' Beauty and the Beast

Nancy Kerrigan & Artem Chigvintsev Jazz, "That's How You Know" by Amy Adams from Enchanted

Heather Morris & Maksim Chmerkovskiy/Alan Bersten Jazz, "For the First Time in Forever" by Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell from Frozen

Nick Viall & Peta Murgatroyd Jazz, "I've Got No Strings" as sung by Dickie Jones from Pinocchio

Social media teases.

Below, see more of the best moments the stars have shared over Twitter and Instagram as they gear up to take the stage to perform again on Monday:

Which pair are YOU most excited to see hit the ballroom during week three? Let me know on Twitter (@desireemurphy_ ) or in the comments section on our official Facebook page! And be sure to follow all of our DWTS coverage all season long, right here on ETonline.com.

WATCH: Normani Kordei & Val Chmerkovskiy Preview Their 'Mulan'-Inspired Routine for Disney Night on 'DWTS'

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

'DWTS' Week 5 Preview: Bonner Bolton's 'Very Different' Tango, Normani Kordei's 'Macho' Moves & More!

The magic of Disney is coming to life in the ballroom!

It's week five of Dancing With the Stars, and the remaining nine couples will each be dancing to catchy tunes while dressed as some of the brand's most iconic characters as "Disney Night" kicks off Monday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

Ahead of their sure-to-be fun, lively and energetic performances, ET's breaking down everything you need to know!

WATCH: 'Dancing With the Stars' Week 4 Dance Recap: Best Lifts, Kicks, Tricks and Flips!

Who's on top of the leaderboard?

1. Rashad Jennings and Emma Slater: 39/40 2. Simone Biles and Sasha Farber: 36/40 3. Heather Morris and Maksim Chmerkovskiy/Alan Bersten: 35/40

Who's in danger of elimination?

Erika Jayne and Gleb Savchenko were in the bottom two last week, and after receiving the lowest score (30/40) from the judges during Most Memorable Year night, we have a feeling this might be it for #TeamPrettyXxspensive. However, Nick Viall and Peta Murgatroyd tied with them for last place last week, so who actually goes home will be down to who received the most votes from fans! Guess we'll have to wait and see…

There will be multiple live performances!

ABC promises a "spectacular" opening number featuring the night's master of ceremonies, DWTS season 19 champion Alfonso Ribeiro. The network teases there will be singing and dancing to an original song with the entire cast. While we don't know too many details just yet, pro dancer Emma Slater did share this group pic, which was taken during rehearsals for the piece on Thursday. (Psst! We now know the dance was choreographed by Mandy Moore, the mastermind behind the magical moves in La La Land):

Also taking the stage to perform live is singer ZZ Ward. She'll be singing her new song, "Ride," from Cars 3, as David Ross and Lindsay Arnold show off their best jive skills.

Additionally, Auli'i Cravalho will perform "How Far I'll Go" from her leading role in Moana, as Simone Biles and Sasha Farber take on contemporary.

Normani Kordei and Val Chmerkovskiy, who are dancing the Paso Doble this week, will also perform to a live song, as Donny Osmond will belt out "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan.

Sharna Burgess wants fans to know why Bonner Bolton probably will score low this week.

Ahead of week five, the red-headed beauty went live on her Facebook with the professional bull rider, teasing what's to come when they hit the ballroom. Burgess explained that the two will be dancing a Wreck-It Ralph themed tango to Owl City's "When Can I See You Again?," which will be a challenge for Bolton.

Last January, the 29-year-old athlete suffered a near-fatal injury when he was bucked off the back of a bull, resulting in a slew of surgeries. To this day, he still has a lot of pain in all areas of his body, especially his neck. Unfortunately, the tango requires a lot of fast, sharp neck movements, which Bolton won't be able to physically master on Monday.

"A big characteristic of tango is that head snap, when you go into promenade position, it snaps really fast and then it stops," she explained. "B can't do that, and it's a huge characteristic, so we're doing it as much as we can, and putting that movement in there, and using the legs to make it staccato, but I sort of want it to be known, 'cause I don't want the judges to stand there and say, 'You didn't snap your head fast enough' when he physically can't do it."

"This is going to be a very different kind of tango," she added. "Usually tango is fiery, passionate and fierce, and this is very childlike, playful and fun … we're gonna spike [Bonner's hair], I'm gonna be Vanellope and have this black wig on, and a whole world of things. It's gonna be awesome!"

And get this! While Burgess is known for her unique choreography, she revealed #TeamDenimNDiamonds' routine this week is actually inspired by a Super Mario Bros. piece Mark Ballas choreographed for his season 19 partner, Sadie Robertson, which you can watch below:

Expect some "very macho" moves from #TeamValmani.

Normani has officially wrapped her tour with Fifth Harmony, which allows her and Val to fully focus on Dancing With the Stars now. When ET crashed one of their rehearsals last week, they teased the intensity of the choreography viewers will see as they make their way to the center of the ballroom.

"First of all, we're doing the Paso Doble," Val said. "It's a very macho dance, I'm trying to get into the mood. There's a lot of karate."

"We just talked about having fun, and she's going to have fun, and if Normani's having fun, then the audience is going to be like, 'Wow, amazing,'" he continued. "So [when I'm choreographing] I prioritize her, I prioritize our viewers and then I prioritize the judges."

What are the other couples dancing to?

Erika Jayne & Gleb Savchenko Viennese Waltz, "Unforgettable" by Sia from Finding Dory

Rashad Jennings & Emma Slater Foxtrot, "Evermore" by Josh Groban from Walt Disney Pictures' Beauty and the Beast

Nancy Kerrigan & Artem Chigvintsev Jazz, "That's How You Know" by Amy Adams from Enchanted

Heather Morris & Maksim Chmerkovskiy/Alan Bersten Jazz, "For the First Time in Forever" by Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell from Frozen

Nick Viall & Peta Murgatroyd Jazz, "I've Got No Strings" as sung by Dickie Jones from Pinocchio

Social media teases.

Below, see more of the best moments the stars have shared over Twitter and Instagram as they gear up to take the stage to perform again on Monday:

Which pair are YOU most excited to see hit the ballroom during week three? Let me know on Twitter (@desireemurphy_ ) or in the comments section on our official Facebook page! And be sure to follow all of our DWTS coverage all season long, right here on ETonline.com.

WATCH: Normani Kordei & Val Chmerkovskiy Preview Their 'Mulan'-Inspired Routine for Disney Night on 'DWTS'

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

'DWTS' Week 5 Preview: Bonner Bolton's 'Very Different' Tango, Normani Kordei's 'Macho' Moves & More!

The magic of Disney is coming to life in the ballroom!

It's week five of Dancing With the Stars, and the remaining nine couples will each be dancing to catchy tunes while dressed as some of the brand's most iconic characters as "Disney Night" kicks off Monday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

Ahead of their sure-to-be fun, lively and energetic performances, ET's breaking down everything you need to know!

WATCH: 'Dancing With the Stars' Week 4 Dance Recap: Best Lifts, Kicks, Tricks and Flips!

Who's on top of the leaderboard?

1. Rashad Jennings and Emma Slater: 39/40 2. Simone Biles and Sasha Farber: 36/40 3. Heather Morris and Maksim Chmerkovskiy/Alan Bersten: 35/40

Who's in danger of elimination?

Erika Jayne and Gleb Savchenko were in the bottom two last week, and after receiving the lowest score (30/40) from the judges during Most Memorable Year night, we have a feeling this might be it for #TeamPrettyXxspensive. However, Nick Viall and Peta Murgatroyd tied with them for last place last week, so who actually goes home will be down to who received the most votes from fans! Guess we'll have to wait and see…

There will be multiple live performances!

ABC promises a "spectacular" opening number featuring the night's master of ceremonies, DWTS season 19 champion Alfonso Ribeiro. The network teases there will be singing and dancing to an original song with the entire cast. While we don't know too many details just yet, pro dancer Emma Slater did share this group pic, which was taken during rehearsals for the piece on Thursday. (Psst! We now know the dance was choreographed by Mandy Moore, the mastermind behind the magical moves in La La Land):

Also taking the stage to perform live is singer ZZ Ward. She'll be singing her new song, "Ride," from Cars 3, as David Ross and Lindsay Arnold show off their best jive skills.

Additionally, Auli'i Cravalho will perform "How Far I'll Go" from her leading role in Moana, as Simone Biles and Sasha Farber take on contemporary.

Normani Kordei and Val Chmerkovskiy, who are dancing the Paso Doble this week, will also perform to a live song, as Donny Osmond will belt out "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan.

Sharna Burgess wants fans to know why Bonner Bolton probably will score low this week.

Ahead of week five, the red-headed beauty went live on her Facebook with the professional bull rider, teasing what's to come when they hit the ballroom. Burgess explained that the two will be dancing a Wreck-It Ralph themed tango to Owl City's "When Can I See You Again?," which will be a challenge for Bolton.

Last January, the 29-year-old athlete suffered a near-fatal injury when he was bucked off the back of a bull, resulting in a slew of surgeries. To this day, he still has a lot of pain in all areas of his body, especially his neck. Unfortunately, the tango requires a lot of fast, sharp neck movements, which Bolton won't be able to physically master on Monday.

"A big characteristic of tango is that head snap, when you go into promenade position, it snaps really fast and then it stops," she explained. "B can't do that, and it's a huge characteristic, so we're doing it as much as we can, and putting that movement in there, and using the legs to make it staccato, but I sort of want it to be known, 'cause I don't want the judges to stand there and say, 'You didn't snap your head fast enough' when he physically can't do it."

"This is going to be a very different kind of tango," she added. "Usually tango is fiery, passionate and fierce, and this is very childlike, playful and fun … we're gonna spike [Bonner's hair], I'm gonna be Vanellope and have this black wig on, and a whole world of things. It's gonna be awesome!"

And get this! While Burgess is known for her unique choreography, she revealed #TeamDenimNDiamonds' routine this week is actually inspired by a Super Mario Bros. piece Mark Ballas choreographed for his season 19 partner, Sadie Robertson, which you can watch below:

Expect some "very macho" moves from #TeamValmani.

Normani has officially wrapped her tour with Fifth Harmony, which allows her and Val to fully focus on Dancing With the Stars now. When ET crashed one of their rehearsals last week, they teased the intensity of the choreography viewers will see as they make their way to the center of the ballroom.

"First of all, we're doing the Paso Doble," Val said. "It's a very macho dance, I'm trying to get into the mood. There's a lot of karate."

"We just talked about having fun, and she's going to have fun, and if Normani's having fun, then the audience is going to be like, 'Wow, amazing,'" he continued. "So [when I'm choreographing] I prioritize her, I prioritize our viewers and then I prioritize the judges."

What are the other couples dancing to?

Erika Jayne & Gleb Savchenko Viennese Waltz, "Unforgettable" by Sia from Finding Dory

Rashad Jennings & Emma Slater Foxtrot, "Evermore" by Josh Groban from Walt Disney Pictures' Beauty and the Beast

Nancy Kerrigan & Artem Chigvintsev Jazz, "That's How You Know" by Amy Adams from Enchanted

Heather Morris & Maksim Chmerkovskiy/Alan Bersten Jazz, "For the First Time in Forever" by Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell from Frozen

Nick Viall & Peta Murgatroyd Jazz, "I've Got No Strings" as sung by Dickie Jones from Pinocchio

Social media teases.

Below, see more of the best moments the stars have shared over Twitter and Instagram as they gear up to take the stage to perform again on Monday:

Which pair are YOU most excited to see hit the ballroom during week three? Let me know on Twitter (@desireemurphy_ ) or in the comments section on our official Facebook page! And be sure to follow all of our DWTS coverage all season long, right here on ETonline.com.

WATCH: Normani Kordei & Val Chmerkovskiy Preview Their 'Mulan'-Inspired Routine for Disney Night on 'DWTS'