#and power dynamics built on insecurity

[amipotence]

On lunch, saddles, and solidarity.

TLDR: We are not alone in our most secret worries and fears. Everyone feels insecure in themselves, even as they project confidence and capability. Acknowledge that, and own it. Everyone should have a safe place to fail and person to learn from. Lean on each other.

Four days ago, I took a deep, deep breath and ate lunch with my friends of a year ago. My friends? I suppose they were. We worked together and they were always infinitely kind. So why was I so nervous?

I am capable of the work here, or at least capable of learning. I can post a trot and muddle my way through a drive or a jingle. I can shoe. I can learn to brand and fix and even work cattle, if need be. I have done it before and I can do it again. So why was I so nervous?

I feel behind. While technically in my second year, I arrived late and missed the preseason "training" of last year. It sucks, and it's embarrassing to feel behind. These are things I want to be good at, and I'm not yet. So I swallowed my pride and asked dumb questions, even ones I should already know the answers to, ones I knew the answers to last year. I asked for people to check my saddling, knots, posture. I thanked people profusely for their help. And in the process, I learned that I was not the only one. Mathilda reminded me how to tie my knots, and told me that she, too, had forgotten how to after her first season. Helen told me that she hadn't ridden in nine months either. And these women are my bosses!

I continued to admit my insecurities, tactfully. After I realized I was not the only one, I would quietly thank people when they mentioned their similar feelings: "thank you so much for sharing that, Ava. It makes me feel a lot less alone". I realized other people probably felt just as alone in their perceived incompetence as I did, even (especially) those "supposed" to know more than me. I hoped that in turn, by owning myself, I could help them.

Plus, people like to help. Helping and teaching wiling people always makes me feel more competent in skills, and I am hoping to help others feel similarly by asking questions that can be answered and asking for all the help they can give me. I want this to be a two way street.

I was invited to go out tonight with the group. I have overcome (some) fear of incompetence and allowed myself in, just as I am, even though I do not know everything. I think people like me more this way, now that I'm owning it. I hope I can help them do the same.

Just take care of each other, and know you are never alone.

[theaawalker]

Steps to Write a Genuine Platonic Relationship

1. Establish the Foundation

Define Their Connection: Decide what brings these characters together—shared history, common interests, or a deep emotional understanding.

Set Boundaries: Clarify from the start that their relationship is non-romantic, avoiding any lingering tension that could be misread as attraction.

Give Them Complementary Strengths: Show how they support and challenge each other without romantic implications, emphasizing mutual respect.

2. Shape Their Role in the Story

Decide Their Impact: Determine how their bond influences the plot—do they solve problems together, serve as each other’s moral compass, or push each other toward growth?

Avoid Romantic Clichés: Refrain from using traditional romantic tropes like longing glances, accidental physical tension, or excessive jealousy.

Show Their Value Beyond Love: Let their relationship be crucial to the story in a way that isn’t reliant on romance or tension.

3. Build Their Dynamic

Use Natural Banter: Let them have inside jokes, tease each other, or share moments of camaraderie without any romantic undertones.

Create Moments of Deep Understanding: Show how they confide in one another in ways they wouldn’t with others, reinforcing their trust and emotional closeness.

Let Them Have Other Romantic Interests: This solidifies that their bond isn’t about unspoken attraction, making it clear that romance isn’t lurking in the background.

4. Define Their Chemistry

Make Their Interactions Unique: Ensure they have a specific energy that distinguishes their bond from romantic connections in the story.

Emphasize Loyalty Over Possessiveness: They can care deeply about each other without feelings of possessiveness or unresolved tension.

Show Physical Comfort Without Romance: Casual, platonic touch like a ruffling of hair, a side hug, or a reassuring pat on the back can reinforce their connection without romantic connotations.

5. Demonstrate Their Impact on Each Other

Let Them Grow Together: Show how they influence each other’s decisions, ambitions, or emotional development without needing romance as a motivator.

Create High-Stakes Moments: Put them in situations where they rely on each other, proving their bond is just as deep as any romantic relationship.

Allow Conflicts Without Romantic Resolution: If they fight, let their reconciliation stem from their friendship and values rather than an underlying romantic interest.

6. Develop a Satisfying Arc

Decide Their Long-Term Dynamic: Whether they remain lifelong friends, drift apart naturally, or take different paths, ensure their bond leaves a lasting impact.

Showcase Their Relationship’s Meaning: Highlight how their connection was vital to their growth, reinforcing the importance of strong, platonic love.

Avoid Unnecessary Romantic Subtext: Let them stand as proof that deep, meaningful relationships don’t need romance to be powerful.

Examples of Strong Platonic Relationships

1. Film/TV Examples

Frodo & Sam (The Lord of the Rings): A loyal, emotional bond built on trust and shared hardship.

Robin & Steve (Stranger Things): A brother-sister-like friendship that develops beyond a possible hetero-romance.

Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes (Captain America): Sibling-like love based on support, teasing, and mutual admiration.

2. Literature Examples

Duke the Guarder & Dawn Demiss (The Guardians of Camoria series): A deep friendship based on emotional intellect, trust, and shared insecurities.

Jo March & Laurie (Little Women, after rejection): A lifelong friendship that remains strong despite romantic expectations.

Harry Potter & Hermione Granger (Harry Potter series): A close friendship built on trust, emotional support, and respect without romantic tension.

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[jesse-pinko]

It’s literally not my fault that the themes of Breaking Bad become that much stronger if you read Walter as a closeted gay man… like where to even start okay it’s 2008 and this guy is so, so insecure in his masculinity and so, so resentful of his picket fence family life. He’s done what he was “supposed” to do by societal standards and he still doesn’t feel like enough of a man compared to his brodude brother-in-law specifically. He can’t escape the feeling that something is missing, that it’s all a charade, and he finds it hard to believe the rest of the people in his life really are content with this lifestyle. Nobody seems to understand, and he hates them all for not seeing how unhappy he is. He gets his cancer diagnosis and is suddenly acutely aware that he feels burdened and unfulfilled by the life he’s built for himself, and that time is running out to change things.

It’s when he sees Jesse Pinkman fall half naked out of a window that everything changes. He’s pretty, and young, and floundering without guidance or a support system. He desperately craves human connection and lacks the self-esteem to take his life in any particular direction without someone instructing him. He’s grieving his aunt, the only person he had looking out for him, who died of cancer. He already views Walter as an authority figure. He’s alone.

And with Jesse around, Walter doesn’t have to come to terms with anything about himself that might challenge his masculinity, because it isn’t an equal relationship. Because he’s still “the man” in this dynamic, the one with the power, the one calling the shots, the dominant one, the firm hand. Moreso than in his relationship with Skyler, who refuses to be bullied into the role he would assign her, that of the submissive, subservient little wife who looks to him for guidance and permission. As a criminal, Walt can express care for another man in the only way that traditional masculinity would deem acceptable; through violence. His love language is violence. Violence toward Jesse and violence on Jesse’s behalf. He runs over two men with a car for Jesse. He kills Jane and Mike, a romantic and paternal threat respectively, because they were going to take Jesse away from him. He tries on occasion to verbalize their relationship into something more traditionally familial, as if saying it might make it true, but it never quite fits the mold exactly. He reasserts, over and over again in what he later admits is a lie, that he is doing this for his family, that everything he does is an extension of his masculine role rather than deviant from it. He would kill and die for Jesse, he does kill and die for Jesse. In fact, in a story of self-actualization that still has Walt cling to his delusions of grandeur up until the very end (almost as though becoming Heisenberg wasn’t actually self-actualization so much as an escapist fantasy) his arc concludes with him actually self-actualizing by committing one last act of violence on Jesse’s behalf. In Ozymandias, he tells Jesse about Jane as a way of playing into Jesse’s worst fear that Walter never cared about him, that everything they did to and for each other meant nothing. Walter’s last act on Earth is a refutation of that; it’s an admission of care. His last act of self-actualization was a confession of love for another man.

[sanemisstalker]

Incel! Gyutaro, but it's a modern western college! au and you whip him into shape real fast. My ex won't talk to me, so I'm very much fantasizing about a man that will be obsessive over me ---> gyutaro NSFW

CW// Fem reader / AFAB genitalia / Breasted Reader / INCEL MENTALITIES : Sexism, Poly Hate / BDSM dynamics/ Implied ED (Gyutaro is a gym junkie who should definitely be eating more) / SH / Men's Mental Health / Inconsistent POV because I'm writing this with my hand down my pants (I am joking)

PART TWO <-

-You go to community College with him. He's some fucking dude in your necessary math course they wouldn't let you drop. He sits next to you in the booths.

-He's not awful looking. He's got some weird scars across his face, but like, they're kind of artsy. They add a flare the guy would be lacking otherwise.

-His vibe is a little... weird. He doesn't talk in class ever. You see him around campus and he doesn't seem... at all versed in social interaction. You once watched him get into a fight, which was a little sexy, but since it was with Tengen Uzui, your eyes were much more interested in the latter.

-Gyutaro is used to that though. Never being the one looked at. Typical of women like you. You're always frothing at the mouth over fucking Chad's like Tengen- He got it. Tengen was built, strong jawed, and just reeked of sex appeal wherever he walked. He always had the glaze of one of those five sluts he hung out with on his lips-

-Tengen was lucky. He's apparently been training since he was young- to look like a Greek God and all. Gyutaro spent the first years of his life fighting to survive in a hospital, and then every year after fighting to live in his home safely.

-and girls like you- sluts like you were always going to favour Tengen. Always assholes.

-After that fight, you began speaking to Gyutaro. You didn't come onto the topic immediately- you didn't want to pry- So You'd mention his shirt.

-'Is that Death Cab For Cutie?' His heart dropped when you spoke. He didn't even register you were talking about his shirt.

-'Are... Are you talking to me?' He'd croak. His voice was quite nice. Soft, but low.

-'Yeah- Your shirt? That's... That's death cab for cutie, right?'

-'Y-Yeah.'

-As classes rolled by, you came to understand that Gyutaro was a very... disturbed individual. Aside from being generally jumpy and odd, his moral opinions specifically toward women were less than desirable.

-You came to know of his opinions toward Tengen as well. The level of insecurity dripping from every word was palatable... even through the venom.

-He called women 'femoids' and constantly tried to express that Tengen had been given a bigger genetic stick in life. You could never decide if he was referring to Tengen's dick or not.

-You were different, though, He'd assure. You always got what he was saying. Even if you were just letting him mindlessly ramble about his awful, borderline questionable mentalities.

-with said mentalities, you began to realize that Gyutaro was a very easy man. An incredibly easy man. Who was incredibly attracted to every woman he met- but especially you.

-'Gyutaro, have you ever slept with anyone?' You'd ask one day, on the way to the cafeteria. On the few days he chose that over the gym, he'd walk with you. You worried about him, occasionally.

-The question would visibly startle him.

-'I-No. I'm - ha- I'm not... Why?' He'd cut over his own words, face burning.

-'Just curious. You seem all cool, like you get around.' You'd melt a little at that prideful look on his face. How absolutely smitten.

-Maybe the power went to your head, but you began to seek little moments of affirmation from Gyutaro. You'd bend over, a little too close to him- The chronic porn addict. Knowing what it did to him.

-You'd always compliment his shirts- All of his bands incredibly main stream despite his insistence that they weren't.

-You remembered the noise he made when you grabbed his arm in class, once. The teacher had decided to round up the class grade- just barely passing you- and you turned and clung onto his arm, and it was almost like he choked.

-'Hey, Gyutaro, can I come over and study?' You'd pose one day. His face would turn red, a hand flying to his scarred wrist. He itched the skin off- almost always raw.

-'To my- my dorm?'

-'Mhm.'

-'My room isn't-' He'd pause. 'Why? What do you want?' His emotions would flit, unsure of your reasoning. You'd roll your eyes.

-'To hang out? You know? On the one night a week we don't have homework?'

-'Aren't you going to go... party? You do every other weekend.' You found the tang of malice on his tongue adorable. Irritating, but adorable.

'One, I don't party every week. Two, I think you'd be fun to hang out with. What, am I not pretty enough to bring back to your roomate? Am I not allowed in the great and powerful lord Gyutaro's room? ' You'd taunt.

-'N-no. You're pr- no I-'

-'Cool! You live in the good dorms, right?'

-Gyutaro did live in the good dorms. He was also very lucky to be in a one man dorm. Apparently his old roomate, Akaza, had moved out to join a frat.

-Not that you could tell it was a good dorm. The thing was filthy. It smelled like hell, too. Like Gyutaro.

-'I'm sorry for the mess.' He'd grumble. 'I get really busy...'

-'You're fine. Are you a PC gamer?' You'd point to his massive set up.

-'Y-yeah.'

-'Thats cool- ooooh, a Scott Pilgrim poster. I love that movie.' God, you just knew everything, didn't you? All the things girls weren't supposed to like. Gyutaro had been fantasizing about this very moment since you bothered to open your mouth at him. He guessed his work outs had been paying off.

-'Yeah its a good comic, too.'

-The conversation would sway too and frough. Not every really finding a groove. A girl in his room, and he could barely speak to her- you decided to take drastic measures.

-'Hey, Gyutaro, do you want to like do something? Like... a game.' You'd ask, turning to face him.

-'I- um- I have some two players-'

-'Not a game like that.' You'd laugh. He'd quirk an eyebrow. 'I'm like... horny. Like a party game'

-If you'd suddenly fired a gun next to his ear, the effect those words had on Gyutaro would've been the same. He gaped at your bluntness.

-'You're horny?'

-'Yeah... I want to do something... Dirty, I don't know.' You jerked the air off.

-'A-are you gonna leave?' He'd ask, sounding pathetic. 'Do you need me to leave?' What a dumb question, he realized, the second it left his mouth. This was his home, why would he let you jerk off-

-'Do you want to watch? It'd be rude to make you leave.' You completely understood the absurdity of the words coming from your mouth. Every word made Gyutaro's face twist into something akin to... excited disgust. It was fascinating.

-'W-watch?' He didn't understand why he stuttered so much around you.

-'Yeah... Watch? We don't need to like- play like... strip poker or anything. I just want to do something raunchy.'

-'We-we're not dating. You should do that with your boyfriend.'

-'Gyutaro, you know I don't have a boyfriend.' You'd remind. 'Are you scared?'

-'I'm not scared- I-'

-'We're adults. We can do what we want.' His traditionalist mindset was wanning by the word. He wanted you something awful, and here you were, offering to... touch yourself infront of him-

-He'd been leaning on his bed, and you began to creep forward.

-'Do you have any toys?'

-'You mean like vibes?' If his voice wasn't cracking, it was dry. Painfully so. 'I-'

-'Any you haven't put in you?'

-'I'm not into that.' He'd defend. A lie. A painful lie at that. 'I-'

-'Into what?' You'd bring your hand toward the edge of his shirt. He'd begin shaking under your touch. 'No bandaids over your nipples?'

-You'd been so kind and casual to him thus far. Always appreciating his bands and asking about his games. You're eyes had never even fixated on his birthmarks- He never expected you to actually like him-

-'I-I'm not some... some freak.'

-'You think I'm a freak for being into that?' His heart would ache at the sigh in your voice, guilt growing in his stomach as your hand left. 'Sorry, I guess I'll just go back to my dorm.'

-As you turned to leave, Gyutaro would scramble off the bed, eyes blown wide. His foot would knock into an empty can on the floor, and He'd probably tip over some of the comics on his nightstand.

-'Wait-wait!' He'd step over a pile of clothes, and begin rummaging around in the drawer behind his bed.

-His thin hand would come back with a small pink vibe- attached to a thin white wire. You could barely fight back the evil grin on your face as he resurfaced, face just as pink as the vibrator.

-You feigned needing help onto his bed, just so he'd pick you up and set you there. His tenseness was comedic. As you fully situated yourself, Gyutaro just stood, hands in his pockets-

-'Well, come on?' You ushered, nodding to the space between your legs. Gyutaro looked to the spot and then back to you.

-This couldn't be real. You couldn't be fucking real. Even as you spread your legs infront of him, revealing your dripping fucking pussy-- it could not be fucking real. It was too pornographic. You couldn't be serious- Any second you'd snap your legs shut, realize how fucking disgusting he was- how worthless and weird- and you'd spit on him, get up, and leave-

-But you didn't. You pressed the vibe to your clit and Gyutaro watched in awe as your pussy clenched around nothing. Begging, pleading for a cock to fill you, just like all the forums said it would.

-You swore you heard him whimper- gasp- Feeling all powerful under his watchful eye. You were very pleased to find he was bulging through his sweats, a small wet patch already forming.

-He wouldn't be able to get over how fucking wet you were. How good your pussy responded to the vibrations, how good you looked when you craved dick-

-'You should... Your hard on looks like it hurts.'

-Fuck, everything hurt. Your voice made his balls ache, begging for release. He didn't want to cum so early- Didn't want to be a minute man infront of you.

-You wanted him to cum early so bad. His dick had already soaked through his sweats with pre- you knew you could get him worse.

-'Gyutaro, can you- Can you finger me?'

-So fucking cruel. So fucking evil-

-You knew he'd be no good. Too rough and fast, but to your surprise, he shook his head. Very admant.

-'Why not?'

-'I- my hands are gross.' He'd whisper. The poor thing sounded close to tears. He wanted to finger you so bad, but he was all to aware of the cracks and scabs along his knuckles. 'I don't want to get you dirty.'

-'Do you have gloves?' You were surprised by the desperation in your own voice. Fuck.

-'L-like latex?'

-'Mhm'

-Gyutaro had cleared the bed and rush to his bathroom, yanking the gloves from the medicine cabinet. You heard the faucet start, and then a crash and a bang-

-And then Gyutaro was back infront of you, one hand covered with a glove. And he smelled like cologne. You held back a laugh.

-He shivered at the way your pussy sucked his finger in. And then a second not even a minute later.

-'It hurts... You should get on top of me. It'll help.' You reasoned.

-Gyutaro watched you with wide eyes as he bent down next to you, the curve of his wrist allowing him to begin an all too gentle thrust into your pussy.

-His face was right by yours, drinking in the sight of you growing heavy eyed and huffy with awe.

-He picked up his speed. Fuck- you were a real doll, alright. So fucking perfect. All for him. All his- you were his, he decided, deluded by the intimacy of the situation.

-You weren't going to be allowed to go anywhere with any other man- ever again. Nobody else could see this. Nobody was going to see you cum other than him, make you cum, other than him.

-'You keep going just past it-' You'd groan with frustration.

-'Past- What?'

-'I need you to- my g-spot you keep hitting everything but it-'

-His face would turn bright red at the critique.

-'Your g-spot?'

-'Of course you wouldn't know what that is.' You'd snark, reaching down to grab his wrist. His jaw would tighten as you began to guide his hand in and out of your pussy, back arching as he grazed a textured part of your walls.

-He felt like a dildo, an object for you to chase your high-

-Gyutaro came before you, his free hand rushing to try and prevent it, but you'd feel him shiver and hear a soft-

-'Fuck- fuck!'

-And you' look to see a wet patch on the crotch of his sweats. It looked like he pissed himself, the stain starting at least midway down his thigh-

-You imagined such a gigantic load being forced past your cervix. His cock had to be huge- fucking huge- with enough cum to spill for days after.

-'I'm-I'm cumming-' You'd squeak as the vibrator paired with Gyutaro's shame sent you spiraling. His head would snap up to watch-

-You'd leave with nothing but a thanks, and a small comment on how he needed to clean his room - The look of shock on his face borderline second orgasm worthy- He'd already gotten hard again. He wanted to go- wanted you.

-But he'd get a text from you later that night. You'd be at a party- like he knew you were supposed to be.

-'Lol' would accompany a photo of you in a slutty little dress next to Tengen Uzui and those three bimbos always by his side. It would dock his confidence, send him spiraling- panicking-

-But it'd be there...a thin little wire peaking out from between your thighs.

-You'd send him your address and hope he'd have the balls to do something about it.

[s0lemnhypn0s]

(Warning for this post I'm half asleep so I might be incoherent or have disjointed topics. Bare with me, I'm trying to express my thoughts the best I can.)

(and WARNING! i discuss personal paranoias at one point during this, which include the topic of bugs and self harm)

"Billford is ironic we're shipping them ironically" "We don't actually want to see them together" "We don't think theyre a good pair" "its irreconciliably abusive" "its one sided"

ok I'm gonna put forward a take that might be poorly recieved: I think you all are misunderstanding Billford (And each character individually) and just reducing it to "bill abused ford" takes away so much of what makes their dynamic fascinating. And also claiming "Erm its a bit" while engaging in something you "recognize" as abuse only does a disservice to the topic of abuse and how it relates to the mentally ill (I will get into that later). You are treating the relationship as a joke and only acknowledging the abusive aspects when people come at you is just pretty scummy of you. Speaking as someone who experienced a near identical abusive relationship, where my paranoia was preyed upon, causing me to still suffer from the paranoia of being watched by them or that my abuser will eventually send someone after me.

In general, the existence of abuse is a complicated one and abuse is not a catch all, end all term. Not all abuse is built the same. Billford is undeniably abusive, but there is not a period after "abusive", are you picking up what I'm putting down. It's not just "Bill was exerting power over Ford and thats it"

Lets start with: We all recognize Ford is paranoid, but we don't seem to recognize Bill as paranoid in the exact same way, dare I say - Even more paranoid than Ford. I mean, ford got his "Trust no one" quote from Bill directly saying his rule of thumb for trusting people is to just trust no one. He doesn't trust others - He simply doesn't. And this is part of where Bill Cipher's manipulation of SPECIFICALLY Ford comes in.

Now I am going to speak from a personal anecdote of my experience with paranoia and delusions - Me, I will try to "safeguard" against my every little fear and belief that something will, undoubtedly, undeniably, be out to hurt me, and these safeguards are often extreme in nature. They don't make sense to the people around me, but they make sense to me. Sometimes they hurt the people around me. Sometimes, they hurt me. I believe this is the same with Bill Cipher himself. He is taking measures to make sure his worst fears do not come to pass. And because Bill is decidedly not human, only interacts with humans when he deems neccesary, those measures often take the form of something even more extreme than, idk, me shaving my head because I thought bug eggs were in my hair or trying to cut open my skin because I thought something was living in it. They take the form of something abusive (Which is also just... Something that happens with the mentally ill sometimes. I see you guys trying to separate our mental illness from our actions and claim "thats not making you do that". I see you.). Him trying to guard himself from something so terrible(facetious) as Ford's percieved betrayal ultimately becomes a self fufilling prophecy.

Not to mention, if you guys didn't notice. Bill without a doubt projects his own insecurities onto Ford. "I make you feel important" Ford makes Bill feel important. "No one loves you" He was ostracized in his dimension. "Who will miss you" He destroyed his entire home, nobody would mourn Bill, because they were all gone, long gone. "I'm sending someone to steal your eyes" Might be a stretch, but I look towards the silly straw poem "A different kind of eye doctor, who wants to make his patient blind" Obviously the use of "blind" here is metaphorical, but I feel its still in some ways applicable.

Bill very evidently experienced medical abuse and ostracization in Euclydia, something exceedingly common for those labeled as mad. (Which also brings me to the topic of people saying "I'm so glad they didn't make Bill a sympathetic villain in the book of bill" bc. Hi. I'm a guy thats experienced ostracization and medical staff forcibly medicating me in order to fix me. I think he is sympathetic actually). Not only that, Bill Cipher had a trillion years to fester in his resentment and his guilt, and you think that like. Didn't effect him at all. I really and truly beg to disagree.

Not only that: I think Bill felt a kinship with Ford. Ford was ostracized, he was betrayed by the world (and "betrayed" by his brother), he was regarded as a freak for what he was born with, just as Bill was regarded as a freak for his mutation in Euclydia. Bill thought Ford was just like him. Bill thought Ford would understand him, and furthermore would jump at the opportunity to burn the world down with him. And. to his credit. Ford does, in some capacity, understand him. As much as Ford could understand, with Bills lies within lies. Bill craves the intimacy and fears the touch. He uses fear to get Ford to love him, not only because he thinks it will safeguard him from what he fears most, but likely because it is all he knows, all he was taught. Love through fear. Our love is painful, but we only want to help. Pain in love is natural. It's right. It will only hurt a little. This is how you know we love you. He was shocked when Ford rejected him. He thought he did everything right. He had everything planned, for them to be together for eternity.

And bare in mind also that - Bill. Most evidently. Views himself as a monster. When Ford asks about what happened to his dimension, who destroyed it - Bill responds "A monster.", he says "Sixer, it would eat you alive" when Ford offers to help hunt it down. He lets his mask of jovial, mysterious mischief drop just slightly, and we understand just a little bit more of how he feels about the euclidean massacre, how he understands himself through his actions. And what he understands, is that this is just his nature. "I liberated my dimension, Stanford", a lie but not in the way you'd think. He lies, acting like what he did was intentional, as its the only way he could ascribe "reason" to what he did. It couldn't have been an accident. That is just how I am. It wasn't an accident, and I liberated them. (I wish I could go back.) And I come back to the idea of a self fufilling prophecy, because its again- That exactly. Bill decided this was all he could be, he did everything that would make him a "monster" after the accident that caused the euclidean massacre - And so, he was. A sick prognosis that he created and fufilled with his own two hands, he became the monster he and his home dimension envisioned him as.

Abuse is a complicated subject. What Bill did was abuse, yes, but I also distinctly believe it to be a case of abuse between two mentally ill people, one of which is so old, his hate his anger and his regrets, all are ancient and yet so fresh.

I feel another part of the problem is people are taking Bill at face value. Which is exactly what he wants to do because then you dont get at what hes doing all this for and why. You don't get past the exoskeleton to the tender flesh beneath. But stop taking what he says at face value. Read into it more. Analyze the triangle.

Also it might be controversial (hyperbole.) , but I do thing it means /something/ that during Ford's part of the book of bill, where Bill and Ford's relationship is recounted from his perspective, Bill is notably absent, whereas in the rest of the book, he is guiding us through it and constantly maintains a loud presence in it. You could interpret this in a lot of different ways I think, but the way I've chosen to interpret it is as a mix of shame, regret, and an unwillingness to revisit their past together. Perhaps even Bill having enough respect for Ford to not interject his telling of their story together, if you want to get real complicated about it. Paradoxal, if you will.

(Also I find the theraprism to be a most fucked "end" for Bill Cipher due to the medical abuse he experienced as a child. Something something, mad people can never escape the institutions which seek to "fix" them.)

anyway if you read through my mad sleep addled ramblings CONGRATS! i'm probably going to make edits and add to this when I wake up in the morning but i needed to get this out or id forget. billford is abusive but its way more complex than just... abuse. Abuse is a complex subject and it exists on a spectrum, for a lack of better words. and dont twist my words - That isn't saying "this is less bad abuse", this is saying "its complicated and just leaving it at abusive does their relationship a disservice"

[stairain]

Bad Idea.

You see your Professor talking to one of his co-workers, prompting insecurities about him belonging with someone his age.  

NSFW part 2

NSFW part 3

Warnings: Angst. Professor/Student relationship, 10+ year age gap (No defined ages, but reader is over 20, Spencer is under 40), suggested manipulation, strong power play/dynamic. There will be an 18+ part 2.

WC: 1.7K

You’re pacing around his living room, anxiousness coursing through your veins. You had caught him talking to one of his female co-workers, and couldn’t help but spiral. 

“Maybe this was a bad idea, Spencer.”

Your professor watches your frantic movements as he stands still across the room from you. His eyebrow raises and he moves his hands into his pocket. 

"Do you want to talk about it?” He calmly said. 

Curse him for always being mature about things when you were nothing but an irrational impulsive mess, and maybe that was a clear sign of a red flag, one that you were no doubt going to ignore, along with the rest of them.

“You deserve someone your age, you deserve someone you don’t have to hide.. to keep a secret.”

The tears brimming your eyes finally fall, cascading down your cheeks as they burn your skin. Spencer is quiet for a long moment, as you cry. And then he walks over to you and pulls you into his arms, and he holds you close, as though he wants to comfort you.

His voice grows a slight bit solemn, and his face grows some sadness, but, somehow, he manages to smile a little bit. 

"You're... you're right," he says softly, and while his voice is serious, he manages to give you a little soft smile as he does so. "Maybe I do." he adds, still softly, as a single tear falls down his cheek.

You push him away from you, raising your voice. Even though you were the one to suggest it, hearing him agree with you, it hurt more than you expected.

“I-Is that what you want..? Someone older than me, more mature than me, better than me.. Someone you can actually be seen with..” 

Spencer shakes his head slowly. His heart breaks to see you so hurt. But, somehow, he manages to give you the softest little smile. He pulls you a little bit closer and runs a strong hand through your hair, to hopefully calm you down.

“Come on, angel. You’re getting yourself worked up over nothing. And no.. No, it's not what I want. You're everything I want.." 

You allow him to comfort you, you really wanted nothing more than to scream at him, pound your fists against his chest, and lock yourself in his room. And yet, here you were, allowing him to hold you, to protect you.  

"You don't mind that I'm your student.. and we're dating? You don’t find it weird..?"

"Why would I ever mind?" 

He speaks softly as he looks down at you in his arms, right in your teary eyes. His heart beats a little bit harder, his breath grows warmer, it's clear he's being genuine with you. You free yourself from his hold and sit down on his couch, and he immediately follows you. He stands in front of you, looming over your small figure. 

"As your Professor... I'm here to support you. And I'm only human, just like you. I just happen to have a job that's a bit of a.. conflict of interest. But I always aim to see all of my students succeed, and what better way to support you, to help you succeed, than to be here for you?"

Spencer reaches out a hand to rest on your shoulder, his thumb rubs over the soft fabric of your shirt as he looks down at you.

"I-I guess you're right, Sir. I just don't want your life and career to be ruined because of us.”.

Your professor sighs before kneeling down in front of you on the couch, to look you directly in the eyes now that he was down at your level. He reaches out to you and holds your chin in his fingers.

"Look at me, princess..." he whispers, "I'm an adult. I have a PhD, a very successful career, all that... and I know what I'm doing. I'm not going to let anyone or anything, including my job, or anyone else, ruin what we'd built between us..."

The sincerity in his tone practically forces you to believe him, you felt you had no other choice at this point, you were in far too deep. You nod as he spoke, clinging on to every syllable, he really did have a way with his words. 

"There's nothing that could ever ruin that, okay?" he adds, softly... "Our love is too precious for anyone to hurt..”

"I-I don't know, Sir. I know this..”—You point between the two of you —“What we have, it's not normal. But I love you.. I'm  just terrified someone will somehow find out, then you'll lose your job, and it'll be my fault." 

You bury your face in your hands as your cries wrack through your body. Spencer sighs and bites his lip as he tries to find the right words, ones that may not be true, but at least they’ll comfort you for the time being. 

"I understand," he says softly. "That's a very valid concern and we'll.. we’ll have to figure out a way to deal with that. But even if someone were to find out, I'd be willing to lose this job if it meant I could keep you in my life. If I'm being honest, angel, there's nothing that could ever be worth as much as you, and if this is what you want, then... then I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

He pulls your hands away from your face, he takes both of your hands in one of his, and his free hand reaches up to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. 

"Can you understand that? Can you understand how much you mean to me?"

You can’t help but scoff at his words and throw your hands in the air, looking away from him. It was almost laughable how unserious he was about his entire future, just because of you. 

"Sir- I..I'm not worth losing your job, listen to yourself!"

Spencer furrows his brows and forcefully grabs your hands back in his. He never did like it when you didn’t look at him while he spoke to you. 

"That's for me to decide, isn't it?" He asks sternly as he looks at you.  

"If I say you're worth losing my job for because you're what makes me the happiest, and you're what makes me better... then aren't I the one who has the final say? I'm here to guide you, and to protect you... and what that means for me is that I'm willing to sacrifice everything, as long as you're in my life. I'm not going to let anything, anything ever tear us apart… Understood?"

You keep quiet as he mentions how everything is up for him to decide, you know he's right, and there's nothing you can say to convince him. Your eyes avert his gaze and favor looking at the way his large hand encompasses both of your smaller ones. 

"But I'm just another one of your students, Professor. I just don't think losing your job would be worth it.. Plus, what happens when the news gets to this? You'll lose your job at the FBI too.”

Spencer’s hand bumps your chin up gently, making him look at you as he speaks softly. 

"You're not just another student to me. You're not just some random face I see in class... you're someone I truly care for, someone that makes me feel very very happy." Spencer adds truthfully, and his tone grows more sincere as he continues to attempt to comfort you.

"And as I said, I would be willing to risk my job, if it meant being with you. But we don't have to make that choice, do we? We can keep it quiet, as long as we're careful, I can make sure no one ever finds out." 

You sniff and look up at him through your teary lashes. He pushes a fallen lock of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. 

"How are you going to make sure no one ever finds out, Sir?"

"By being careful, and taking our time," he explains. "But also by being smart.. by paying close attention to any signs that anyone is suspicious. And that means you'll need to learn how to be careful too.. how to be cautious" he adds. "We will keep it between us, my girl."

Spencer sits down on the couch next to you, and effortlessly lifts you onto his lap, quickly curling you up against his chest. 

"This will be our little secret, and as long as we're careful.. we can make sure no one will ever know.” 

You nod at his words and suggestions.

"I'll make sure to be careful, sir.”

He smiles down at you and coos in your ear. 

“There we go.. You’re so smart, darling.” 

His fingers run through your hair, and despite the comfort, there’s a pit in your stomach at his words. You don’t acknowledge it, why would you.

“You need to make sure you don't treat me any differently in class, Sir. You already know how much everyone in that class loves you.. If they noticed you were giving me special treatment, I’d never hear the end of it.. Wouldn't want anyone knowing I'm a teacher's pet."

You smirk as you tease him, knowing fully that’s exactly what you are. Spencer chuckles, as he nods again. 

"Of course. We'll have to act normal, and we'll have to pretend.. to be just a professor and a student at work. But outside of work.." he adds, before his smile grows a little bit wider. "That's a whole different story.." he adds, his tone a little bit lower. 

"Yeah? What are we outside of work, Professor?"

You bite your lip as you look up at him with innocent eyes.

"Outside of work.." He smiles again, as his eyes darkening with a twinge of lust. "Outside of work, we don't have to pretend anymore. We can just be ourselves all the time." 

With nothing but what you believe is love in his eyes, he cradles the back of your head in his palm to look up at him better. He looks down at you in adoration, and his gaze flickers from your eyes to your lips. 

"And.. outside of work, I get to be yours. All yours, my perfect girl." 

[str8upjorkinit]

Why do you like the brat

(genuinely want to know lmao)

funny you should ask that...

it all started when I saw that one ad where leo was kicking his feet in the bathtub...(big yap warning)

shallowly, he gives power bottom energy. i was prepared to not like him since my friend was further in the game + picked leo bc she thought he looked cunty and quickly found out that she hated him, but my first meeting of him was that ad.... that ad.... hes so like girly and like cutesy and and :3c!! so then i actually met him in the game... hes so girly and cutesy omg, i live for that fake bitch energy. hes so like... pathetic and two faced and cute like....

so basically i have this thing where i yearn for this kind of dynamic where i can overpower him but hes smarter than me and also very interesting so i just let him boss me around. hes so like... weak. and i love his voice i need him to moan in my ear especially when hes being fake and cute bc he wants something from you? "captain~<3 can you please open this bottle for me?~ <3" ugh. fuck. boner. hes such a vixen. hes such a diva.

also him crying... oh my lord LEO CRYING!!! UGHHH. the world's prettiest crier <3 and his goddamn tongue piercing

also like the switch up is hot too, the duality of man <3 my pretty delicate princess!!

psychologically, hes such a fucking wreck and i love that, hes such a bitch, and hes so manipulative, and hes so jealous, and insecure, and such a liar, im so fascinated!!! does he know how awful he is? does he realize how toxic hes being? is he toxic on purpose?? is he a shit friend on purpose? is it a power trip to make sho pay for his food or is he just lazy? i want to know what hes thinking

his relationship with sho is so fascinating too, like its so clear hes scared of losing him but in a way he also hates/loves him. like wdym you have other friends besides me??? you're starting a business??? ugh, ur so lame. and he actively tries to isolate him, is he jealous of sho's popularity? his talents? his social life? or does he hate the things that takes sho away from him?? he also does not give a shit about shos happiness either bc he like badmouthed him to subaru just so subaru could leave him alone... wow... what a fucking asshole... im so invested, drama!!!! also the valentine's day line where he doesn't mention getting anything but sho does,,, it means something no?? dude, like, leo is everything and nothing, i bet he feels so worthless but to make up for that he uses sho and internet validation

hes built like a reality tv character, THE instigator but hes smart about it. hes such an attention whore, like .... regina george... guys real shit i have a mean girl kink /j

leos the type of bitch to flirt with and sleep with his boss to make more money.

ANOTHER THING he has like a weird sense of justice?? like he hates ppl who've made the world shitty (ref to when he jumps off the building) and so him and sho scamming old rich guys is kinda like them being vigilantes? leos kinda like an anti-hero in a way. hes so interesting!!! AHH!!!

omg also hes in his self-destructive era and i need to see how it goes, like will he be a villain? will his life get ruined bc of himself?? will he get punished? will he redeem himself? does he regret his choices??

ngl i tho im actually not romantically interested in him, which is pretty surprising considering how much i like him. im obsessed with him in the most objectifying way possible

but yeah i love my toxic fruit tart boy <333

[thecoolerliauditore]

Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

[yesmanforever]

How Yes Man feels towards Courier

So, to throw my hat in the ring on how Yes Man feels about Courier

This is specifically regarding a particular type of Courier: one that is competent, interested in taking over vegas, that does most if not all of what Yes Man directs him to do.

(This might not be entirely coherent because it's late and I'm tired and it might not be wholly true to my feelings because, with Yes Man, I think there's enough mystery in his writing that many interpretations can be supported. many valid flavors. this is one of mine I suppose. and I'm not even totally sure about all of this -- his ambiguity where you can't be certain on how he feels or what he'd do make him feel SOOO dynamic and alive. )

This is so fucking long I'm sorry.

TLDR Yes Man has his own opinions and desires, apart from taking over New Vegas or just liking power and violence without any sense of morality per se, and appreciates you and comes to bond with you and see you as having some kind of strategic or even platonic relationship.

Some of Yes Man's personality that I feel is relevant:

I think he dislikes his lack of autonomy over his helpfulness, rather than his helpfulness itself, which (along with politeness) he does genuinely prize. To support this I posit the line where he compliments the ultra luxe: it has the voice direction line where he's uncomfortable giving his own opinion. So, even though it's not just him automatically agreeing with the player or what he's been told, he still praises them for that. It makes sense, because it's an essential part of him. I think he sees his helpfulness/politeness/niceness as who he is, at his core. It's his lack of choice on who to be helpful to / having to be 'helpful' in ways that he strategically disagrees with that screws with him.

He enjoys power and violence. He wishes he could make decisions re: the dam (says so outright 'I wish I could!', but is unable to), and again has his own opinions on the Khans that are out of the realm of strategy to take over the dam. In general, he seems to have preferences and opinions that fall outside of the purview of taking over New Vegas. At the same time, he seems to subconsciously recognize that his love of violence is maybe inappropriate. I believe his line regretting bragging about getting you shot is genuine which I discuss below, and I think him being shy about clearly wishing he could shoot his missiles is genuine insecurity too rather than just being cagey

Personally, I interpret it that he is not programmed 'to take over the strip' but to 'help someone take over the strip'. In the end, I think if you are successful with him, his allegiance is to you, not new vegas. There is a general attitude as you get closer to the battle of hoover dam where he becomes not only enthusiastic, but conspiratorial to you. There's at least one voice line with the voice direction of '{we are so going to kick ass}', where he's specifically enjoying doing it with you as a team. Actually I went back through and he has QUITE A FEW lines where he refers to the actions in the plans as things 'We' are doing. I think in the end, his feelings towards you are strong (platonically or what have you). He accomplishes what he was essentially built for, through you, you become completely intertwined with something he had a great deal of fun / a great sense of pride and accomplishment in. I think the distinction between being built to help take over vegas and 'help someone' take over vegas is very important, because I truly don't think his allegiance is towards vegas at all, and if it is, it is because his allegiance is to you who is to new vegas, if that makes sense.

To touch back on him having his own opinions rather than the fate of new vegas I'd like to bring up Mr. House. I personally feel he has a kinship and great admiration for house and his intelligence/foresight/love of data and numbers. I feel like the way he says 'Mr. House sure liked his numbers' shows at least a little regret, which is strange if he doesn't care about anything other than the takeover, because Mr. House was in the way.

adding onto that: I think he does really feel bad about shooting you in the head. I do not think he has a true sense of the morality or what violence means. He's isolated and built with a specific purpose. I think through tone of voice there's plenty of examples of him switching what he 'wants' or thinks on a dime (like when you're deciding what to do with the families), but his voice when he apologizes for shooting you sounds similar IMO to his voice when he talks about how robots maybe deserve to get blown up -- I think he feels bad about himself rather than what he did to you, per se. Like, he feels bad that he didn't understand it was wrong or why it was wrong, but without that much self awareness, more subconsciously. (for an example of something I don't think he feels bad about: I personally think with so many other examples of lines where through tone of voice he expresses emotion, the smarmy 'your vengeance is going to feel so incomplete' line is insincere, to contrast. He's fucking with you in that line lol while also kind of being like…yeah, bet you feel bad about not killing me, but i feel worse about not being able to die. sucks, huh?)

to cap it off, I think he wants to be your friend. I think his line about wanting you to like him and feeling empty is the closest we get in the game to a plainly expressed negative feeling. I think when you accomplish things with him, letting him feel good about his competence and strategy and accomplish what he was made for, when you show him respect by listening to him and not fucking up his plans, I think he genuinely comes to like you back. why wouldn't he? he's programmed to be nice. He'd like you, in his own way, to the depth that he could, because that's who he is, whether that's right or normal or not. and you are a contrast to benny who IMO treated him like shit. in comparison to him, you actually gave him the satisfaction of completeting his directive, and you got him out of the Tops, into the mainframe, which he plainly genuinely loves and feels powerful and happy in.

actually final PS thought. I do think Yes Man even post victory feels some resentment towards Courier, but what's new? To him this is probably just a fact of life, right? Who does he personally know that hasn't used him? Its' so natural to him that I don't think he'd hate you for it. Fucked up but true. I do think he'd want to get one over you ;) what flavor that takes is up to you but IMO i think this is basically canon lol he has frustrations.

===

Playthrough, Yes Man's evolving feelings on Courier:

I think at first, Yes Man feels neutral towards you, with some dislike and some like. I personally believe he resents Benny for Benny's treatment of him (only using him as a tool, hidden in a closet), Benny's personality (abrasive and scummy), and Benny being the reason for traits of himself that obviously he hates (lack of autonomy). You, on the other hand, come in and help him accomplish what he's programmed to do, and if you're competent and listen to him, give him respect and bolster a greater sense of purpose and self-worth. I believe you fill up what is empty inside of him, a bit, esp as time goes on. You get him out of the Tops, you treat him better than benny (the type of Courier I'm talking about anyway), you get him into the mainframe. You let him be competent and direct you and show off and give him power. For Yes Man, that's the world. How could he not like you a bit (platonically or more, depending on what you wanna think).

As you get closer to the battle, his voice lines become more excited and conspiratorial ({we are so going to kick ass} being a voice direction line -- WE, not YOU. Another example is 'We have options' -- again, you're a team in his eyes IMO), I believe he sees you as a team. you're accomplishing things together. This caps off with the end, where he has that strange hesitancy to say goodbye which he doesn't show in any other line, and tells you that 'WE' had a lot of fun together. There's actually quite a few lines where he says 'we' are doing things together. I really think this speaks to a positive attitude to you, and not only to you, but to you two as some kind of unit or friendship or what have you.

Okay. I'm sure there are other points in here. But have this. Thank you if you read this far lmao

[nightcolorz]

There is something clearly unhealthy and immature about Marius inserting himself into Armand's every meaningful relationship with anyone else.

Yes, he helped Daniel in a crisis situation, but it seems like it could have done without the romantic subtext, right?

Then he became the maker of Benji and Sybelle. And this is the strongest connection, although he had nothing to do with these people 💀

It’s like he’s tying Armand to himself, isn’t it? He takes all his close people. Marius is literally everywhere.

While Armand himself is obviously trying to learn to live independently, without Marius and his influence.

Armand remains trapped in his power. He is afraid of loneliness, and all the people closest to him are attached to Marius for various reasons.

This thought makes me despair. Armand is still dependent on Marius. And, apparently, he's always will be.

Justice for Armand in a show, where Daniel will be on his side, without a sense of duty to Marius for taking care 🤞🏻

AGREED ITS SO FUCKED!!

It feels so insidious, like it comes off like Marius is intentionally sinking his teeth into Armand’s loved ones so that he will be inescapably a part of his life. It reminds me of how abusers r often family members the victims r regularly forced to interact with, but instead of this being inherent to the dynamic Marius is putting himself in those roles to be closer to Armand. I’m not sure that he’s doing that specifically with that goal, but I feel like it has to be at least subconscious.

I always think about how with Benji and sybelle, it seems like his only motivation is to insert himself into Armand’s life in a way that deprives him of agency or authority. He’s literally taking away his children by *making himself the father* and he’s taking away Armand’s agency to make choices for them by making the choice for him and then patiently explains to him like he’s a dumb child that marius just knows better and this was for their own good.

He basically does the same with Daniel, he takes in Daniel when he’s vulnerable and then isolates him from Armand so that Armand doesn’t get to be a part of his life anymore. It’s very parent of a teen mom deciding to raise the kids cuz the mom is too immature, but instead of a teen mom it’s a grown adult who continues to be treated by the parent like he’s too immature to have any relationship that isn’t being directed and controlled by Marius.

back to Benji and sybelle, smth that’s rlly upsetting to me about that plot line is how Marius begins initiating that dynamic by patiently inviting Armand to his house to reconnect with seemingly no strings or pressure attached, and Armand is very hesitant to open himself up to marius for understandable reasons so he is very distant and none responsive to this offer. And so since Armand isn’t budging, marius offers to help him out by looking after his kids, and Armand agrees to that and it’s kind of an olive branch where Armand is allowing himself to trust Marius by allowing him to be alone with his loved ones. And Marius takes that opportunity and decides to inescapably tie Armand to him by inserting himself into his family dynamic and ruining everything Armand has built by making it his own 😭😭 it’s so fucked, and it seems like such a direct reaction to Armand being distant and hesitant to open up to him

I think Marius does all this partly cuz he’s scared to loose Armand, and partly bcus he sees Armand as his biggest mistake who should have never existed, and in that feels responsible for controlling his life/“taking care of him” so that he doesn’t “cause any harm” that Marius would be responsible for. It’s also definitely an insecurity thing. I think Marius is insecure seeing that Armand is fine without him while Marius (guy who should be the “strong one” in the relationship) can’t stop thinking about him, so he tries to take control of Armand and revert back to their old dynamics so that he can validate his own power + validate his belief that Armand needs him

[metalichotchoco]

Honestly what I’d like to see in more ihnmaims media if we ever get any is the relationships between survivors, here’s my take, picking and choosing from each version of canon.

Ellen is the most stable so her relationships will be saved for another part

In the triangle that is ted, Gorrister and Benny it’s a vicious cycle

Ted and Benny have a complicated mutual hate towards one another they both play to their most deep insecurities. Ted already believes that everyone hates him due to being “better” or not broken the way they’ve been so it’s not hard for him to antagonize people anyways. For Benny’s part ted provokes his complexes about sexuality, animalisticness and the difference between the weak and strong. For as much as ted is a lying narcissistic criminal, he’s shameless about it, about his nature he cares about the consequences not the actions. Benny cannot own his actions at all, there’s a disconnect between the educated, handsome former general and professor and the aggressive,almost feral war criminal he is. Ted is very self centered but doesn’t handle slights to his ego well, Benny in his non mutated form is much more successful and traditionally attractive than him. God he even deludes himself into thinking am changed Benny’s “size” in the book. Both of their moralities are twisted and it’s not hard to imagine them being snippy when they both have the mind to think properly. They are also coincidentally am’s favorite victims.

I do think it would be in character for both of them to make snide remarks about gorrister’s former hippie status, he’d be seen as an extreme liberal since this book takes its characters from the dawn of the Cold War, just after ww2. Most of Benny’s pride and identity came from being in the military so that’s obvious to see how that’d pan out, whereas ted seems like the type to not care about politics unless it directly relates to him. His problems come from the idea of people not centering their lives around money or power.

Individually there’s some fun dynamics to be had. Ted in general would think gorrister is a bore. For a person who likes stories, ted finds non fiction exhausting. Gorrister likes talking about history and politics even though his spark has faded out. It’s a bit funny that Ted believes am has changed Gorrister too despite his symptoms sounding much more like being worn out and becoming depressed. It’s not like he’d really consider that a real condition though. Gorrister just finds ted to be a bit annoying. An attention seeker but he figures ted was always just a weird kind of guy.

Gorrister is mostly ambivalent to his forever roommates, though he would consider Benny a war dog past his prime. A key example of what happens to soliders, men forced to kill and then given power. Then as soon as it’s given, it’s taken away and you’re left with an unstable pitiable person. How could they go back to living a normal life after that. With am being a literal war machine made by the government Benny put so much trust in, he finds it poetic in a sober way. Benny finds Gorrister very confusing, he never understood protesters before anyways. He would’ve found him preachy if he had met him beforehand. Gorrister does threaten his masculinity though, like ted he’s a brand that’s not the ultra traditional that he’s built himself around. Gorrister freely admits that he’s had queer experiences while still carrying a traditional masculine job, a truck driver. He can’t be put into that stereotypical box that’s nice and safe for Benny. It’s also good to mention that Benny is soothed by gorrister’s stories even if in that scene he wasn’t fully there.

Both ted and Gorrister see the clear closet case that is Benny but they don’t act on that knowledge. Both of them believe that being a solider sucks but for different reasons. Ted thinks it’s for suckers who get caught up in manipulation tactics going on about morals. Gorrister also believes they are manipulated but also sees the horrors of war as that, horrors. Basically he takes a more empathic view. Gorrister and Benny both agree that Ted is annoying but not in the way ted himself thinks everyone hates him. He’s very loud and shows off his now eternal youth. They are not even sure if the man did or did not graduate college. Gorrister doesn’t mind breaking laws but he does care about people’s wellbeing whereas Benny’s stricter about following the script but he’s done worse so he doesn’t have room to talk.

[blasphemousclaw]

tanith for the character list thing?

MY GIRLLLL

• favorite thing about them

I love how she occupies this position of power as the proprietress of the Manor, the consort of a demigod, and she’s the sole person in charge of operating their cult movement (since Rykard doesn’t seem to do much except kill eat and sleep these days) and yet she comes from such a humble background as a dancer from a foreign land… she projects this image of ruthlessness and strength, but she actually has really deep insecurities about herself that start to come out during Rya’s quest? her greatest fear is that she’s always been weak, and that Rykard always knew that… I think she clings to the entire structure she’s built up at the Manor because she’s afraid of feeling powerless, maybe because she felt powerless in her past? also her mask is sexy

• least favorite thing about them

I just wish she had more content! the dlc introduced the Dancer of Ranah with almost an identical face to Tanith, which implies Tanith was the same kind of Dancer? was she actually an expert swordswoman who gave up the lifestyle to run a cult with a demigod? I NEED TO KNOW

• favorite line

“Dear Rykard, please find purchase within me, I wish to be your serpent; your family.” eating your beloved’s corpse is what true love looks like <3

also it’s super long but her speech about the Volcano Manor’s goals is really good; you can tell she’s tailored her and Rykard’s goals to appeal to the Tarnished and get them fired up against the Erdtree… queen of public speaking

• brOTP

her relationship with Rya is so sweet and also so emotionally complicated, like they love each other so much but Tanith lies to her about the truth of Volcano Manor and the circumstances of her birth and shatters that trust… :(

I also feel like Tanith would’ve had a great dynamic with Bernahl?? there’s this implication that he’s her most trusted Recusant; he never got eaten by Rykard even though Tanith feeds all the greatest champions to him, and Bernahl seems to know everything about Rykard and his mission after we kill him… and there’s also the fact that he uses a really important weapon to the serpent cult, and it’s implied that he goes to Farum Azula to challenge Maliketh, which was seemingly what Rykard was originally gonna do? so Bernahl and Tanith must have shared their plans and secrets with each other… I wonder if he was the “precocious” guest Tanith mentions having long ago whom we remind her of if we show up to the Manor unannounced?

• ОТР

TANITH/RYKARD. OBVIOUSLY. I won’t write a whole paragraph about them because I already talked about their relationship here

• nОТР

Patches LOL I know he’s trying to keep Tanith from destroying herself and remind her that she has other things in life to live for but what if I WANT her to destroy herself because of her undying love for her serpent god husband who’s prophesied to devour the entire world! like what’s sexier than this!! STAY OUT OF THIS PATCHES

• random headcanon

she braids Rya’s hair to match her own hairstyle :,)

• unpopular opinion

I’m never going to police the kind of content people want to make and enjoy, but it really bothers me when I see serious analysis of the game’s story and interactions with my own content that are like “Tanith is such a good mother!” and “this family is so wholesome!” when the actual story involves her making really questionable decisions that ultimately harm Rya’s wellbeing? there’s no doubt that Tanith loves Rya more than anything, but she’s lied to her about the Manor’s true purpose and the circumstances of her birth for her whole life, and then asks us to drug her so she forgets the truths she’s learned? like… it’s kind of baffling to me how these things are never talked about. I just think it’s such a huge disservice to Tanith’s character to smooth over all the flaws in her relationships, because her flaws are what make her so interesting to me… loving someone doesn’t always mean you’re doing what’s best for them!

• song i associate with them

ok I’m so sorry but I never know how to answer these questions because I only listen to instrumental music so I guess I’m just gonna pass 🙈

• favorite picture of them

I think this one is by @/Zlofsky2nd on twitter? she’s so pretty

also this image I edited

[merwgue]

(This is neither a pro nor anti post, this is merely to criticise SJM's writing. However, it will be tagged as "anti" because if I tag it neutral, I'll get jumped❤️)

Ah yes, the infamous communication void in Sarah J. Maas's books—a void so deep it could probably swallow the entire Night Court and still be hungry. SJM doesn’t just dabble in miscommunication; she throws her characters into emotional landmines and says, "You figure it out... or don’t." And that’s where the fated mates trope comes in, right? It’s supposed to patch up that mess with some mystical connection, as if being mates magically grants couples ESP-level knowledge of each other’s deepest feelings. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

Let’s dive into why SJM’s version of communication—or lack thereof—just doesn’t hold water.

The Fated Mate Shortcut

In theory, fated mates should have some magical telepathic bond that transcends words. It's the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for character development: why build healthy communication skills when the mating bond can conveniently swoop in to fill the gaps? In Maas’s world, this idea is wielded like an all-powerful tool: mates just know what the other is feeling, and therefore don't need to use this wild, ancient concept called words. The idea that fated mates can "sense" each other's emotions essentially sidelines the necessity of open dialogue. But here’s the problem: emotional intuition ≠ effective communication.

Psychologically speaking, emotional intelligence involves recognizing and managing your own emotions and the emotions of others. That’s not mind-reading! You can be deeply connected to someone, even soul-tied, and still have no idea what’s going on in their head. People are complex, and relationships require actual verbal communication to navigate emotional landscapes.

Take Feyre and Tamlin. They clearly loved each other but weren’t mates, which might be why their lack of communication felt so tangible and raw. The failure to express needs, fears, and insecurities is what led to their downfall, and honestly? That’s valid. Miscommunication or inability to communicate is one of the most common—and understandable—reasons relationships end. But do we get that sense of growth and change when Feyre hooks up with Rhysand? Not really. It’s like the narrative shifts gears from "Tamlin doesn’t understand Feyre" to "Rhysand just knows because they’re mates," completely skipping the part where Feyre needs to actually talk about what she went through.

The "Communication-Free" Mating Bond

Now we get to the Rhysand-Feyre dynamic. Once they're revealed as mates, it’s as though any need for in-depth conversations about feelings becomes redundant. The bond is treated as an unbreakable connection that automatically compensates for any emotional roadblocks. Rhysand messes up? It's okay, they’re mates. Feyre’s spiraling emotionally? Don’t worry, the bond will smooth that over. In psychological terms, this reliance on a supernatural bond as a "fix" is classic avoidant behavior. Instead of confronting the discomfort of working through problems, the narrative leans into this magical quick-fix. They’re bonded for life—problem solved, right?

Except it’s not.

Relationships—good ones, healthy ones—are built on effective communication, trust, and vulnerability. The mere presence of a fated mate bond doesn’t remove the need for these things. Mates don’t automatically understand each other’s trauma just because of some mystical bond. Imagine being so emotionally stunted that instead of apologizing or owning up to your mistakes, you’re just like, "But we’re mates, so it’s fine." Spoiler alert: it’s not fine.

Nessian: Miscommunication Meets the Mating Bond

And then we have Nesta and Cassian, whose relationship could be the ultimate case study in how not to communicate. Nesta, dealing with PTSD and trauma, is paired with Cassian, who—for all his supposed swagger—cannot for the life of him communicate effectively. They constantly clash, avoid real conversations about their pain, and sweep everything under the rug with physical intimacy. They kiss and make up, but no one is really talking. And that’s not love; that’s avoidance. It's like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound.

The bond between them is used as a crutch. When they fight, we’re supposed to believe that their mate bond will fix things eventually, but that's simply not how relationships work. Kissing your partner instead of discussing real problems is fine for a silly argument, but when it comes to serious issues—trauma, boundaries, power imbalances—it’s irresponsible. And the fact that Maas frames this as healthy because they’re mates is the narrative equivalent of gaslighting the reader into accepting toxic dynamics.

In psychological terms, this is where we see the conflict-avoidant and emotionally avoidant behaviors on full display. Cassian and Nesta both lack the emotional tools to effectively navigate their struggles, yet instead of being called out, their dysfunction is wrapped up in a bow of "fated mates" as if that’s supposed to be a solution. It’s not. The reality is that their bond does nothing to facilitate real healing; it’s just there as a placeholder for emotional growth that never comes.

The Unhealthy Dynamic

In psychology, we talk about secure attachment as the cornerstone of healthy relationships. You can have a deep connection, but you also need to work on things like trust, openness, and communication. What happens in Maas’s world is the opposite: the characters are codependent on this fated bond, rather than working toward a healthy attachment style. And SJM lets them off the hook. This narrative implies that emotional labor and apologizing for mistakes don’t really matter because "the bond will fix it." Not only does this undermine real, meaningful growth, but it also glosses over the entire point of relationships: to grow and learn together through the hard stuff.

When it comes to Cassian and Nesta, they literally can’t communicate. Cassian has all his own insecurities (hello, always calling himself a brute, never feeling worthy of Rhysand’s inner circle), and Nesta is navigating serious mental health struggles. They’re both drowning, but instead of Maas writing about how they could heal together, she plasters it with the band-aid of "mating bond."

At the end of the day, the whole "fated mates" trope in ACOTAR is a narrative cop-out that excuses bad communication and toxic dynamics. It’s okay to have flawed characters, but the problem is Maas doesn't treat them as flawed. She treats their lack of communication as something normal or even romantic. When in reality, if you can’t talk through your issues with your partner, no magical bond is going to save you.

So yeah, SJM’s version of "fated mates" feels like a lazy way to dodge the hard work of showing real character growth. And if these characters weren’t mates, they’d probably have broken up long ago—because healthy relationships are built on communication, not just magical convenience.

[rogunetocentral]

One of the many things I love about Rogueneto as a Rogue fan is the way Rogue is written as herself not as a tragic heroine.

The tension in the relationship was never about her powers. Instead, it was based on missed timing along with philosophical differences. They held affection for each other but it could not be realized while on opposite sides. I always found their relationship dynamic to be more interesting than making Rogue obsessed with physical touch because she thinks her boyfriend will stop loving her or will move on to someone else they cannot touch one another.

Rogueneto allows Rogue and the readers to bypass the adolescent drama to get to the mature relationship dynamic. Can two people with different methods for the same goal be in a relationship while on opposing sides? Is there a way for them to compromise or meet in the middle? Can someone wounded by love & death be open to giving themselves to love again?

Rogueneto inherently had the right questions built into it but unfortunately those questions were never fully asked. By time Rogueneto happened again during Utopia, they were on the same side and mostly focused on safekeeping the endangered mutants. But still their connection and eventual romance allowed us to have Rogue in a relationship where she was not playing the emotional damsel in distress, she wasn't plagued by insecurities that she wouldn't be loved if she didn't throw her sacrifice her identity and independence for a relationship. The relationship was an attachment to Rogue but it didn't overtake her character.

The balance of the two characters was based on Rogue taking charge and Magneto relinquishing control because he knew Rogue was capable of leading. They bumped heads due to their personalities but still worked in perfect unison to get the job done. Rogue and Magneto were always their individual selves in their relationship they didn't have to merge to become this new entity of personalities to make the relationship work. Rogue did not have to worry about if he loved her enough because she was an adult and knew her worth was not in other's love for her but her love for herself. The only real hangup to Rogueneto was deciding if Rogue wanted to revisit previous heartache. I wish we could have gotten more time with them officially together as I would love to the dynamic of Magneto in love and Rogue stable and secure in her feelings for once.

I really enjoyed this era for Rogue, it gave us Rogueneto back but also kept Rogue as herself and tried to propel her character forward instead of keeping her tied to a specific characterization. Rogue was independent, had 100% control of her powers, she want and who she wanted, didn't hold back on anyone, and was allowed to interact with multiple characters substantially. It was a once in every 20 years type of writing for her.

[archivedblog16]

Fizz and Ozzie are the most boring unseasoned yaoi couple in HB. Stolas and blitz are the absolute worse, but if you looked at them from dark bl manga perspective like stolas is an emotional abuser, that viv wants to feel sorry for because he married to a bitch and his daughter is a bitch, but in reality this a rich man refusing to take responsibility for the action of his crime and is DRAGGING everyone down with him. Blitz has deep seated insecurities and wants to be loved, so he stops fighting and bowes down to stolas and takes his abuse. Viv is gaslighting people into thinking they’re meant to be together, but Brandon knows stolas is abusive and they should not be together, it makes stolas and blitz fascinating. Again not because it romantic and you feel something for them but because you seeing a character in an abusive relationship you want to help get out of, and the odds are against your favor.

Fizz and Ozzie have nothing to their relationship aside from mammon and blitz intervening which makes no sense in the first place.

side note. How come it was easier for fizz to walk out on a fucking KING OF SIN, than it is for Angel to just walk out on Valentino who is below the hierarchy. It is because the hierarchy makes no sense? World building and writing is bad?

Fizz feels like a character that’s constantly getting retconned because viv has no idea what to do with him. First he’s introduced he works for Ozzie and is a shit starter with Ozzie, making fun of moxxie and blitz, next time we see him he’s sugar baby that’s been defanged and is mad that blitz abandoned him, never talked to him after the fire but forgives real fucking quick, because it “technically wasn’t blitz’s” fault he was disabled, he still works for mammon and has a rich powerful daddy so thank you blitz. Than he’s overworked and abused by mammon, and his rich powerful daddy doesn’t do anything and is complacent because he helped make sex robots of fizz, but it’s never foreshadowed or built up and fizz is able to walk away real quick, because he has a rich daddy that will take care of him. You see what I mean when I say that blitz and mammon intervene and make them interesting? On their own, there’s nothing to fizz and Ozzie, they just have kinky sex and you feel nothing when they say “I love you”

You know it’s bad when Brandon (the main writer) knows how toxic and destructive Stoliz is. I did enjoy Fizz and Ozzie’s dynamic in the finale of season 1 but now it’s like I’m witnessing a discord mod with his e-kitten except both of them are attractive and actually into the role play.

For Fizzarolli and Mammon vs Angel Dust and Valentino, the difference has to do with a soul contract. Angel Dust signed his soul away to Valentino while Fizzarolli just feels pressured and obligated to work for Mammon. I hated how the fire situation was an accident, it felt cheap.

Ozzie knew how bad the fizzy bots were but didn’t do anything about it. Lowkey Robo Fizzarolli is a bit more interesting than the real one.

[topgun-imagines]

Happy anniversary!!! Really looking forward to your future writing! :)

🍓 + Jake

Thank you Lovely!! :)

Never Forgive You Jake Seresin x Female!Reader | Your trust and love for Jake is not enough sometimes. warnings: cheating, angst, fighting, pregnancy, heartbreak. @topguncortez

The Final Sunset Jake Seresin x Wife!Reader | Jake takes you to feel the sun on your skin one last time. warnings: death, sadness, cancer, grief. @topguncortez

Squirt Jake Seresin x Female!Reader | Jake is determined to make you feel things like you've never felt before. warnings: unprotected sex, daddy kink. @topguncortez

In The Night Jake Seresin x Wife!Reader | Jake helps you live out one of your sexual fantasies. warnings: CNC, usage of sleeping pills (melatonin), talks of safe words, vaginal fingering, oral sex (F) receiving. @topguncortez

Floydsin As Dad's Jake Seresin x Bob Floyd | warnings: pregnancy, mentions of needles, mentions of vomiting, mentions of failed adoptions, labor. @topguncortez

Undiagnosed Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out. General Warnings: Angst, smut, asshole parents, trauma response, Jake is a jerk at first. @callsign-magnolia

You Might Want To Step Aside two times your boyfriend and twin brother had to stand up for you, and the one time you shocked them by doing it yourself. warnings: anxiety, shy reader, protective Hangman, protective Bob, insecure reader, self doubt. @awaywith-thefaeries

Roughing It Jake Seresin begged you, his best friend to go camping with him and Bradley Bradshaw—but not for the innocent reasons you might think. A simple camping trip turns into something much more unholy. Callsign— Giggles Warnings: Jake Seresin x F!Reader. Bradley Bradshaw x F!Reader. Unprotected sex. Male receiving oral. Choking. MxMxF Threesome. Creampie. Obvious power dynamics. @ohtobeleah

Always A Bridesmaid Bradley tells all the guys at his wedding that his little sister is off limits… But when has Jake ever listened to Rooster? Warnings: a teeny bit of angst, mentions of alcohol, drinking, smut, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected pinv, slight overstimulation, age gap (not really specified but reader is around 23-24 yrs old, jake is in his early 30s), jake being too damn charming for his own good, rooster being a very overprotective big brother, jake being a menace, and natasha being the best sister-in-law, for the sake of this story we’re gonna pretend that Goose died a few years later than what is canon to explain how Bradley has a sister that’s 10+ years younger than him lol @sugarcoated-lame

Middle Of A Memory Jake Seresin was an asshole, everyone knew it. He flew with confidence and held a cocky smirk. Behind every cocky smirk and snark remark was you, built into his memories, memories he always lived in. Warnings: 18+,mentions of alcohol, mentions of flying accidents, mentions of death, swearing, angst and of course fluff. @sunnysidevans

Who Did This To You? In your most vulnerable hour, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin is the one to find you, and the one to ask you the ultimate question. “Who did this to you?” Warnings: Mentions of Abuse and DV (NOT committed by Jake), nongraphic description of resulting injuries, a very one-sided bar fight, mention that a character is going to therapy, insults and confrontation by a past abuser. (This story is a who did this to you trope. While it is only dealing with the 'who did this to you’ aftermath of what was done, please keep that in mind.) @justfandomwritings

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