#and poured ketchup on a child

[unholyhelbig]

Part two of mafia nat???

Title: The Oversight [Part 2/7]

Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Wordcount: 3079

Warnings: Hostage situation, brusing, mentions of child abuse, horrible grammar, and Quiznos

[a/n: Thank you all for the great response to the first chapter! I'm making this a thing, for sure!] Let me know if you're interested in being added to the taglist for this story!

[ Part one | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven ]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

“The usual, sweet girl.” You set the plate of pancakes down in front of Veronica. A happy face was painted against the golden surface with whipped cream, with cherries and two slices of bacon divided perfectly for hair. Your daughter never seemed to grow tired of the meal and would swallow down a glass of milk with just a bit of strawberry syrup.

Despite having completed the maze on the back of the kid’s menu at least a dozen times, she remained infatuated, kicking her feet back and forth as the orange crayon made its way through the boldened lines.

You tentatively moved a lock of brunette hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. “Eat your food, kiddo. Big day tomorrow.”

Veronica nodded and started to fork down the smiling face. She didn’t speak much, a few words here and there, and that worried you enough to take the day off from work. You had found a speech therapist right outside of the city that accepted your HMO plan with enough fervor that you made the soonest appointment you could.

While you worked hard to shield Veronica from the life that you were determined to break away from, you were distressed. Kids were smart, they didn’t’ get enough credit. You were sure that she noticed the only meals she ate was at this diner and at school. The way that you were here all the time, dressed in the same uniform stained with ketchup and coffee. The way you fell asleep on the second-hand sofa for a few hours at a time.

“She your kid?”

While your back was turned, mind rushing with intrepid thoughts, someone had sidled up against the counter with an empty white mug, its mouth flipped to the ceiling. The blonde looked innocent enough, if not in despite need of the coffee she was asking for. Her accent was thick. Russian or Ukrainian, nothing you could fully place. 

“She is a very good artist.” She tapped her finger against the orange drawing of a sunset in the corner of the placemat. “A lot of talent in this one.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the compliment, picking up the coffee pot. The blonde nodded and smiled back as you poured her a cup. “She gets it from her father.”

While you weren’t entirely sure that was true, you did know that the talent wasn’t from you. You never had the artistic eye. Veronica, on the other hand, was a quiet force to be recon with when it came to art. Even at a young age, you knew whole-heartedly that she had a future in it if she stuck with it.

“That so?” The woman took a long sip of her coffee, not flinching at the heat. “She should keep going. It’s important to have something to hold onto.”

The memory flickered in our mind as you drifted in and out of consciousness. It could have been a day, or a week, and your heart ached just as fiercely for your daughter as it always had. She would be in safe hands for now, you were sure. Your sitter knew about your devoted love, your resilience to make sure that Ronnie was okay. You were all she had, and being tied to a chair until your muscles felt like jelly was not a good sign.

You weren’t sure what had pulled you out of a fitful sleep for a few moments, but there was a light squeeze on your shoulder. Your head shot back and collided with something. There was a soft grunt, and your inhale burned your lungs. When you blinked awake, there wasn’t complete darkness. A less harsh light had been turned on.

The blonde from the diner was standing in front of you, robbing a tender spot on the center of her nose. “Ouch, that really hurt!”

“Sorry, I-“ you frowned, snapping your mouth shut. You weren’t going to apologize. You were the one that had been kidnapped, not the other way around. “What’s happening?”

Natasha had left you without another word, and you hated the way you missed her presence. You’d drifted off in the quiet and considered it a better punishment than Clints vicious blows to the face. The girl in front of you held a bottle of water up as a peace offering.

She cracked open the top, and even if you weren’t quite sure if something was in it, you didn’t care at the moment. She guided it to your lips, and a few drops dripped over your chin. It cooled the burning in your throat.

“Thank you,” this time you meant it. Natasha had made it clear that there was no good cop, but this was starting to look like your reprieve. You tested your luck. “If they’re going to kill me, why hold me?”

“They are not going to kill you. Natasha is a cautious woman. She did not get to where she was without crossing a few lines. You claim that you’re not on drugs and my sister wants to make sure that is truthful. Can you blame her?”

From a technical standpoint- no, you couldn’t. You searched for some type of resemblance in the woman and came up with nothing but a slight similarity in the slope of her nose. She smiled, crossing her legs, and sitting back against the chair.  

“Let’s play twenty questions.”

You lifted an eyebrow, and it sent a shooting pain to your temple. “If I get one wrong, do you shoot me?”

She laughed, “No wrong answers. Can you believe that I want to get to know you? I’ll go first. My name is Yelena, and my favorite color is green. Forest green if you would like to get specific, which I would.”

“Dark red.” You said “I’m y/n.”

“Oh, I know. How long have you lived in the city?”

You rolled your shoulders back again. They were stiff. You’ve never been this uncomfortable in your life, and not just socially. There was a cool calmness about Yelena that put you at ease. Though, she was one of your kidnappers, and most-likely a member of the secret underground organization that had inexplicitly frequented the diner.

“My whole life. Not this part of town, though. East lower with my mom and my dad until my mom died and my dad got himself killed when I was seventeen.”

“Foster care?”

“For a year until I was old enough to be out on my own. I’m not going to let my daughter end up the same way. That was the hardest year of my life and if she loses me then… Her father isn’t around, but I’m afraid that going into the system would be best case scenario.”

“She’s six?” Yelena asked.

“And a half, but yes.”

“Non-verbal?”

You nodded again. This felt like a shitty game of twenty questions. Yelena already knew all the answers and you could still taste blood and the aching in your jaw. She tapped her fingers against her knee, uncrossing them and leaning forward.

The ceiling still stretched above you. There were rafters that you could barely make out in the darkness. You blinked so you wouldn’t cry. Still, when you spoke next, your words came out pinched and you couldn’t help but feel weak.

“The world is a horrible place, and the odds are already stacked against her, you know?” You sniffed to keep snot that you couldn’t wipe away from dripping onto your shirt already soiled with blood. “She’s a good kid. She’s funny, and smart, and I want her to have a life where she thinks everything is okay, even if there’s a possibility that it never is. Ronnie doesn’t need to know that. She doesn’t need to know.”

Yelena swallowed hard and nodded. She stood and closed the distance between you. Her hand was warm against you skin as she tentatively wiped away the moisture on your cheek. She gave you the rest of the water. “Okay. Drink.”

You were foolish to trust her. There was something in the water that was tasteless but rendered you unconscious all the same. You blinked awake, not sure how much time had passed. Your mind was swimming relentlessly, being forced in and out of lucidity had done nothing for your resolve.

Sunlight, something you thought you would never see again, flitted through an open window. A cooling summer breeze accompanied the sight. You’d been freed somewhere along the way, and your gratitude wasn’t lost on you.

Dark purple bruises encircled both of your wrists. Your whole body ached, and you let out a low moan at the sudden blinking movement. “Oh… fuck.”

“That’s a beautiful sound.”

Your back was pushed up against a dark oak bedframe, heels shoving you back. There was a lightheadedness swirling around you. A nice bedspread was underneath you, and the room itself was dripping in riches.

It was large with floor to ceiling windows, the walls slathered in deep maroon paint. There was a wall of bookshelves filled with expertly bound books. Two chairs and a small cocktail table was set up in a beam of sunlight.

Natasha held a crystal glass of unidentified alcohol in her hand. The ice floated within the deep brown liquid as if it were afraid to make a sound. She wore a suit, one that hugged her sides. Her lips were painted red to match the walls and she tapped her nail against the glass, observing you.

Her words sent a pang directly to your core, and that embarrassed you more than your exhaustion. Blood flooded into your cheeks and the very corner of Natasha’s lip twitched in response. She set her glass down on the table.

You recoiled as she rose and transplanted herself on the corner of the bed. She was gentle with her movements as if you were an animal that she was afraid to startle. Natasha had a tight hold on her operations. She was nothing more than a myth. Simply the boss.

Somehow, she scared you more now than she did before. When you were tied to the chair, you were certain that you were going to die. But now, in this royal-style room, you were filled with questions about why she let you live.

“I don’t make mistakes, but unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the people who work for me.” She was glaring at the design etched into the duvet, gold embroidery. Her perfectly manicured fingers thumbed the flower. “You were profiled, and you were profiled wrong. I don’t go after single mothers, especially ones that don’t keep certain… habits.”

There was a sinking feeling that you weren’t meant to speak. This was the delicate moment during a hostage situation where the robber has a gun pointed at your head, the finger on the trigger and a burlap sack of money in the opposite hand. Your words would do nothing but loosen the safety.

“This is being dealt with, believe me.” Natasha looked up at you, her eyes fierce, a beautiful fern color that bounded off the darkness of the walls. “But you must understand, y/n, I am not known for my kindness, and I am certainly not known for my mercy. You still took the money, and you still owe me.”   

You drew in a breath, opening your mouth to protest, but Natasha held up her hand and you snapped your jaw shut. There was a bit of amusement in her stare that you didn’t have the mental capacity to dissect.

“Yelena said that you know how to fight. Or, at the very least, take a hit. So, I’m not asking. I’m telling you that work for me until your debt is paid off.”

Natasha had gotten impossibly close to you. That same deep scent of mint filled your lungs. It wasn’t comforting, but it didn’t’ unsettle you anymore, and neither did her warmth. You winched when she reached up and grabbed your face, squeezing softer than Clint had, her nails still dug into soft bruising.

She whispered her words, breath hot on your lips. “You belong to me now, and I don’t always play nice.”

Natasha ‘not playing nice’ looked a lot like having a driver drop you off in front of your apartment without your shoes. The sidewalk was cold despite the hot day, and as you stared up at your unit, you swore that the curtains flickered. You blinked and squeezed the bridge of your nose immediately regretting it the second you felt the shooting pain reach your eardrums.

They had taken your keys, presumably to make copies, and the sweatpants that you were given were much too big around your waist. You had sinched them with a shoestring, just counting yourself lucky that they’d provided a change of clothes in the first place. Even the shirt was stained and had a logo on it for a defunct Quiznos in queens.

Your body threatened to give out as you took the stairs two at a time up to your apartment. You still didn’t’ have a grasp on how much time had passed, but it was evening when you left work, and the sun felt like a mid-day assault on your senses.

Frantically, you knocked on your neighbor’s door, wiping your sweaty palms against your pants. Natasha’s pants. More than likely- Clints pants. It took a few moments for the door to swing open, but when it did, you were flooded with relief.

Darcy had an eyebrow lifted at you. “Holy shit,”

You didn’t let her get another word in edgewise before you engulfed her in a hug. She let out a breath at the impact and after a few seconds, pulled you in closer. Darcy was a friend, someone you trusted enough to watch your daughter. There was a soft spot in your heart for her. You didn’t let go when she backed the two of you into the living room and let the door fall shut behind you.

“I was three seconds from calling the police, y/n.” she pulled back, squeezing your shoulders. “What happened to you?”

You were instructed on what to say, word for word. You’d repeated it twice to Natasha and once to the driver. Lying to Darcy, someone who was the equivalent of a lie detector. Her eyes were hard, her voice hushed.

“I got jumped by a couple of guys on the way out of the restaurant. I was stranded on the other side of town, no phone. I tried to get here as soon as possible but I got a little banged up. I’m okay, a little shaken, but okay.” You frowned, “What day is it?”

Your eyes searched the room for a clock, for anything that would give you indication, but Darcy, while one of the sweetest people you had ever met, was a bit scatter-brained. You trusted her with your daughter, and with your own life, but there were spare computer parts strung out across her coffee table, on the couch, and the television stand.

“Y/n, you’ve been gone for two days.” She lifted your chin with a curled finger, making a hissing noise as she sucked in a breath “Oh they got you good. You’re sure you don’t want to press charges?”

“More trouble than it’s worth.” You shrugged your shoulders. “I would love an icepack, though. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“I’ve got frozen peas and corn, dealers’ choice. Ronnie finally fell asleep; I kept telling her that nothing was wrong but she’s too preceptive for her own good sometimes.”

It was a bad move, but you gave Darcy a thankful squeeze on the shoulder and moved down the hall to the guest room.  It was the cleanest place in the house, reserved for visitors. Darcy still had zoomed in photos of computer chips. They were like little mazes without an escape, her personality shining through.

Veronica was laying on top of the duvet, curled up in a blanket that was typically strewn across the base of the bed. She wasn’t asleep, her tempered gray eyes flicking to the door and then lighting up when she realized that it was you. You leaned against the doorframe, warmth flooding you.

You wrapped her in a bone-crunching hug, squeezing her into you as if you never wanted to let her go. She smelled like Darcy’s shampoo, a light floral concoction that comforted you. Ronnie’s hand squeezing the fabric of your borrowed shirt.

“Hi, baby” you pulled back slightly, enough room for you to give her a kiss on the forehead, pushing back ringlets of curly hair. “I missed you.”

Her nose scrunched up and her little fingers ghosted so softly over the pulsing bruises on your face. You never wanted her to see you like this, for anyone to see you like this, but at the moment you didn’t care. Having her in your arms was enough to erase all of that doubt.

“It’s alright. I’m alright,” You assured, and she crunched her nose again. “Oh, you think I stink?”

You probably did. You’d been strapped to a chair for 48 hours, nearly vomiting up what little food you’d consumed the night of your abduction. You’d sweat through your clothes, and the borrowed ones weren’t much better in the scent department.

“Too bad, little one,” you poked at her sides, eliciting an infectious giggle. “You’re stuck with me, stink and all.”

You let yourself go slack against her, trapping her under one of your arms. Veronica playfully tried to shove you off and you let out a grunt at each attempt. Eventually her arms wrapped around yours and she settled into you.

Maybe some sleep wouldn’t do you bad. Your body was about to give out, and the only instructions you’d gotten from Natasha other than the white lie of your injuries, was to hang tight and heal until she contacted you, and she would contact you.

“I didn’t know which one you wanted, so I brought both.” Darcy said from the doorway. You mumbled into the pillow in response, nothing legible. “Oh, we’re cuddling, or is this a hostage situation?”

You winced internally at the words, but sighed contentedly when you felt the weight of the frozen vegetables against your shoulder blades. You melted into the pillows, the bed dipping down as Darcy laid on the other side of Ronnie, as you drifted off to sleep.

[Taglist🕷♡: @dumbasslesbi, @lostremind, @toocreativeforausername @autorasexy @eringranola @mikookaaaaaao @marvelwoman-simp @pacmanmiles @mostlymarvelsstuff]

[kitthepurplepotato]

MWRMI PART 4

My Weird Roommate, Midoriya Izuku

Week 2 - Garden Shenanigans! 🪴

~•🥦•~

Summary: Midoriya has a shopping problem. He also has a hard time understanding the difference between a friendly banter and flirting when he’s in a good mood. Y/N realizes her favorite person in the world isn’t pro hero Deku anymore.

Warnings: swear words, mentions of alcohol (they have one cider)

First Part Masterlist

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Shopping With Midoriya is… an adventure.

The sun is barely up when he decides that you had enough sleep for the day and barges into your room, uninvited. There is a burnt smell coming from somewhere, but right now, all you care about is the fact that pro hero Deku just invited himself into your room and you probably look like shit after sleeping less than 4 hours the night before.

“Y/N, they open in an hour, I made breakfast, come and eat!”

… so that’s what the smell is.

You lazily open your eyes to take a look at your new roomie; with a frown on your face you realize he looks absolutely stunning even with the lack of sleep. He’s wearing a tank top and dark green shorts, his arms are full of new and old injuries but instead of them being unattractive they kinda make the guy look really… well… sexy. And manly. Ahh, it’s way too early for all this sexual frustration.

“It’s already way too hot outside, stop making it worse with your existence.” You mumble to yourself, absolutely sure the guy won’t understand your mumbling anyway. For your surprise, Midoriya freezes in one place and his face gets as red as a tomato in only a few seconds.

“Y/N! You can’t say things like that to me!” Deku is about to combust from the embarrassment and while you know you should be ashamed of yourself for being heard, after yesterday’s mess up you can’t even bother anymore. You already fucked up enough for Midoriya to never look at you in a romantic way anyway so you might as well just be honest and be yourself at this point.

“Midoriya, you can’t barge into a lady’s bedroom either!” You parrot the green haired hero, who gets even redder (if that’s even possible) and moves towards your door while mumbling apologies on his way out. You giggle to yourself and put on a bit more clothing; it’s really hot outside so your sleepwear is quite light and you are not sure if you have the confidence to show yourself in your sleepwear to the greenette yet. This whole roomie thing with your favorite hero is still a bit too much for you; you definitely feel less awkward about it since yesterday, but still, you want to give yourself some time to adjust, one step at a time.

You put on a grey tank top with capri trousers and make your way to the bathroom to wash your teeth; there is no way you are going to have breakfast with Midoriya while smelling like death in the mouth.

“Y\N, this is not a fucking date, you moron” your mind screams, but you blissfully ignore it.

~•🥦•~

“Midoriya, with full respect, this is an abomination.” You stare at the dark brown, unidentifiable thing on your plate. By the broken egg shells in the bin, this THING needs to be a really poorly made/burnt scrambled egg with rice? Also, the ketchup on the top makes it look like it’s a murder scene. Midoriya looks at you with tears in his eyes; he looks like a little child who tried to do something nice for his mother but ended up burning the house down by accident. “I will gladly eat this abomination.” You mumble, physically incapable to look into his pretty puppy eyes any more.

“You don’t need to…” The boy sounds heartbroken, his voice trembling and fuck, you would do anything to make him smile again. Anything.

“I do, Midoriya. You made this for me. You poured your heart and soul into this…” you stop for a second to investigate the substance in front of you but Midoriya is nice enough to help your out. What a nice chap.

“Egg fried rice”

“…Into this egg fried rice, and it is my responsibility to at least give it a try.” You finish your sentence with a big sigh and try a small amount; it’s gooey and sticky and absolutely atrocious, but it’s still edible. Disgusting… but edible.

The green haired man smiles while you struggle to swallow; (that’s what she said… - Kit) but fuck if it wasn’t worth it. Thankfully, Midoriya has just enough self-preservation to bin the rest of the food with a promise to eat something at the garden center instead and pushes you out of the door as soon as the “food” is safely disposed.

~•🥦•~

There are a lot of headcanons on Tumblr about Midoriya in general and there is also a debate about his possessions; does he own a car? What car does a hero like Deku drive? Is he the fancy type or the “got this from my mom when I was 18” kinda gal? Or maybe he prefers motorcycles? Bicycles? Skateboards?

Well… you get your answer when Deku leads you to the underground garage and points to the flashiest car in the car park.

“So, this is my baby.” Midoriya points at the massive sports car. It’s metallic dark green with orange and black details; the interior is a tan color which makes the interior stand out even from the distance. It’s the most elegant and most badass sports car you’ve ever seen in your life. “It’s a McLaren 570GT. To be honest with you, I just wanted a Prius, but Kacchan said I should get a ‘fancy ass car to hide my boring, stupid personality’ and forced me to buy this baby.” You are almost hundred percent sure that this translates to ‘you deserve a better fucking car’ in Dynamight language. “It’s not too useful for shopping or driving around with friends which is a shame, but Shouto-Kun has a mini-bus, so… what’s so funny?”

You don’t even realize you are laughing until the greenette points it out.

“I was just thinking about Pro Hero Shouto driving around in a mini bus and picking you guys up one by one, making sure the whole class is present before driving off to school.”

“He even has an attendance sheet.” The hero winks at you like it’s a big secret; well, it probably is; and you can’t help the blush spreading on your cheeks. “I’ll ask him to add you to the list the next time we go camping! Just make sure you don’t drink anything Denki gives you. The last time we went camping, Denki made Kacchan so drunk he almost burnt the forest down while sneezing.”

You can’t believe these guys. In your mind, these people were beyond everyone, perfect, flawless and majestic, but here they are, playing school camping on their day offs while getting shit drunk, like normal people. By the end of the day, heroes are only humans. You can’t wait to meet these people in real life, they sound so much fun to be around.

“So Dynamight loses control over his quirk when he drinks?”

“Don’t get me started on quirk analysis, I’ll never shut up.” Midoriya giggles, clearly struggling not to give you a whole presentation on the topic.

“You never shut up anyway.” You tease, but by the blush on his face, he didn’t really take that as a joke. “I like it.” You add sheepishly, your own face also decorated with the same shade of red. “Please, never change, Midoriya.”

The hero looks at you the same way he did yesterday; like this is the first time someone has told him to be himself. His eyes are wet, but they shine with gratitude written all over them.

“I wish we’ve met in different circumstances, Y/N.” He sighs and opens the door for you. You look at him with a questioning look. “It’s nothing. Let’s go, roomie.” He gives you a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and moves along to the other side; you sink into the fine, comfortable leather seat with a content sigh.

When Midoriya jumps in and starts the car none of you speaks up; the sound of the engine is so calming you almost fall asleep from the beautiful sound of it.

~•🥦•~

Midoriya takes this shopping really seriously; he’s crouching down in front of a bunch of seed packets and googles them one by one to make sure they are suitable for his garden. He’s wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses to hide his identity, but thankfully, the garden center is almost empty anyway on this lovely Tuesday morning.

“So, what kind of tomatoes do we want? Fiorentino, gold nugget, marmande, rugby; well that’s a funny one; sun gold or super mama?

We. You and him. Oh fudge, this is too much for your little heart.

“Well, get a nice big one and a small one for the salads?” You mumble with a blush on your face, but he doesn’t even listen to you; he jumps into your sentence without hesitation.

“Look, I found the perfect seed for you!” Midoriya gives you the packet to check it out; it’s a sweet pea. Your face becomes as red as the tomatoes on the pictures.

“Midoriya! Behave!” You ramble, and give him another seed packet. “There you go, this is you.”

“A teasel?” He looks at you with a confused face.

“Yes. Because you’re teasing me. Get it?” You can’t help but grin as Midoriya’s face contorts into a frown from the bad pun.

Without a single retort, he puts the two packets of seeds into his shopping trolley. “Aww, you’ll buy them? You are so sentimental! So kawaii! Please tell me you want them to have their own special place in the garden as well!”

The green boy blushes and moves towards the flower section. “And then what.” Midoriya mumbles and fuck… you love this guy so much already.

“Izuuuuuu!!!! You are so sweet!” Without a single thought in your silly little head, you jump on the hero’s back. He stiffens for a second but catches your thighs to keep you up, giving you a piggy back ride.

“Awww, what a sweet couple!” The cashier mumbles to her colleague and that’s the exact moment you realize how stupid of an idea this was.

“I’m sorry, Midoriya, you can put me down now.” You mumble apologetically.

“No, this is fun.” The greenette looks back at you with his puppy eyes; there is no way you can say no when he does that. No fucking way.

~•🥦•~

“Wow, look, they have an All Might themed flower basket! Let’s get five of those!”

“FIVE?!” You deadpan. He’s such a fanboy, honest to fuck. “What about those cute little pink ones there?! I want the pink ones!” You insist; you know it’s not your garden, but the whole renovation was your idea so you definitely want to be a part of it.

“Four All might baskets?” He flutters his eyelashes for great measure. This man will be the death of you.

“Three All Might baskets and 2 pink ones. Look at their names, Midoriya! Pink kisses! Flutter burst! Purple wedding! We need these as good omens, otherwise we will be single forever!” … Not like you actually care but it sounds like a great way to make it sound like you don’t have a big fat crush on your adorable flatmate.

“I don’t mind being single. I have you. That’s more than enough for me.” You definitely did not expect this comeback. That was a low blow.

What are you supposed to say?! ‘Marry me then?!’

“… I’m getting them anyway.” You mumble with a red face, avoiding eye contact with the greenette.

“Please do. They are cute. Like you.”

… this needs to stop. He’s only joking but your little fragile heart wants to take everything seriously. You can hear the wedding bells in the background. It’s getting harder and harder to put your Deku fanatism aside and concentrate on the guy in front of you as a separate person, or to be more exact, it’s getting harder not to love this guy the same way you love your favorite pro hero if not more. This is Midoriya Izuku, everyone, a walking green flag who can’t even have a flaw without being adorable.

“Honest to fuck Midoriya, stop flirting with me.” You reprimand, but it rather sounds like ‘please, praise me more.’ Oh well, you tried.

“Oh… sorry, I didn’t realize this is what flirting is like. Maybe this is why the ladies get mad when I turn them down…” Midoriya stares into the nothingness, deep in thoughts. Ah, that explains it.

“You heartbreaker!” You giggle, poking his shoulders in a friendly way. You can do this. You can be friendly. There is no reason to make this weird.

“I am, apparently. Sue me.”

“I would never sue someone with such a pretty face.” You coo at the greenette, topping your words with a kissy face. You can play that game too, okay?!

“You are such a hypocrite, Y/N!” Deku grins with a slight blush on his face and everything goes back to normal; or as normal as it can be considering you are on a not-a-date with your favorite hero of all time, buying garden supplies like a 60 years old married couple.

Being with Midoriya is confusing, but it’s so much fun; you’ve never been this happy in your whole life and it has nothing to do with him being your favorite hero. You can only hope he’ll find someone who likes him the way you do; because Midoriya Izuku is just as perfect as a human being as he is as a hero.

~•🥦•~

The two trollies are full of random plants and bushes by the time you get to the furniture isle; there is a citrus tree, a cranberry, strawberry and blackberry bush and a small acer tree next to all the flowers you two have chosen a few minutes prior. He also managed to find some all Might merch hidden in a gift shop; they are fake and cheap but apparently, the nerd needs them all; Midoriya definitely has a massive shopping problem.

“I really want that.” Midoriya points at the biggest firepit in the building. You can’t help, but sigh. This is the fifteenth random thing the greenette wants to take home for no reason. You don’t have enough energy to do this again.

“Midoriya… we already have a massive sofa set, the most expensive one at that I might add, four folding egg chairs, five lounge chairs, ten foldable chairs, the biggest available grill and a parasol. There is no more space in that poor garden.” You deadpan.

Does he care? Nah.

“Well, the foldable chairs are useless without something to sit around, ain’t they?” Midoriya’s eyes are chaotic; he somehow managed to get to a point when the insanity is clearly written all over his face. He’s also hyperventilating a little bit. A few more minutes and he’s going to drool all over the floor. Shopaholic Midoriya is scary.

“Alright.” You give in. “But you’re buying us another hot dog, because I won’t have time to cook today.”

“Deal.”

… this will be a long day.

~•🥦•~

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Well.

Okay, listen.

Having Midoriya fiddling with the tank top he changed into and staring at you with puppy eyes while the garden looks like a war zone is one thing but the above mentioned tank top doesn’t have sides… like at all. This means, you can see everything. Everything. His pectoral muscles are on another level, they are so plump and perfect they actually look fake. You can’t even comment on the rest of his body without sounding like a thirsty fangirl. This should be illegal. This guy is a fucking dream. Damn, you really want to touch the skin under that tank top.

You swallow your NOT so innocent thoughts and look up at the hero.

Keep your eyes on his face, Y/N. You can do this.

Ahh, that’s a nipple.

Fuck.

“Uhm, let’s try to assemble all of these first then move on to the plants. I think it looks worse than it is.”

Well done, Y/N. You managed to sound coherent.

Midoriya looks heartbroken by your words, even though you didn’t mean any harm with them.

“I said I’m sorry.” He repeats, his eyes scanning the grass like he’s looking for something there. You can’t help but touch his side to comfort him; what you did not expect is your hands touching his naked skin. How stupid can you be? You literally just had a full conversation with yourself about his perfect, almost naked upper body.

Fudge, his skin is so soft, what the actual fuck. You definitely need to borrow his moisturizer and MOVE YOUR FUCKING GRABBY HANDS AWAY. LIKE NOW.

“I heard you, but there is no need for you to feel like that, you know. You are an adult and this is your garden and your money. Thank you for buying me those flowers. I can’t wait to see them from the window every morning.” You smile at the tall, bulky man next to you.

After 10 seconds of emotional staring you move away with a shy giggle; this is too much for your little heart.

“Thank you.” He says and you look back at him; Midoriya’s smile is so honest and so full of affection you can’t help the blush spreading on your cheeks from all the fluttery feelings boiling inside you.

“Shut up...”

~•🥦•~

It just around 9 PM when Midoriya and you finish with the garden shenanigans. You are both exhausted and sticky from the sweat but that doesn’t stop you from having a cider on the brand new sofa set while the sun goes down in the background. Midoriya’s fluffy head ends up on your shoulders, hist chest moving up and down with his calm, steady breaths. This should be uncomfortable for so many reasons, but if just feels right; there is this weird feeling that pulls you towards the green haired nerd, this new emotion lurking in your heart. It’s confusing but so, so nice; warm and cozy like a hot chocolate on a grumpy cold winter night.

By the end of the day, Midoriya and Deku became two different people in your eyes and funnily enough, the one cuddled close to you takes over Deku’s Number One place in a flawless victory.

“I really like this.” The green haired man speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Being able to hold someone so close even though you both smell like shit?” You look at the greenette questioningly.

“Yes, Y/N. I like the fact that I trust you enough already to be at my worst around you without feeling terrible about it.” Midoriya strikes back with a new kind of sass. “I also like the fact that YOU also smell like ‘shit’ but I still feel the urge to stay close to you and It’s really fucking nice but now you ruined my emotional roomie-love confession.” He pouts, clearly offended; he’s so fucking adorable you want to cry.

“You know what?” You speak up in the same offended tone. “If we are having a honest moment here, I would like to add that from today, pro Hero Deku isn’t my ultimate favorite person in the world.” Midoriya actually takes offense at that and moves away but you continue your rambling. “It’s cuz’ of that stupid little sticky nerd I spent the day with. You know, the one who comes home all bloody and grimy sometimes but takes his time to comment on my latest drawings anyway. The one who let me have my shitty pink flowers in his perfect All Might themed garden, even though they stick out like a sore thumb. I only knew this guy for a few days, yet here I am, all sappy and emotional, goddamnit.”

You kind of lost your confidence by the end of the sentence but as you look up at the teary eyed greenette, you know he’d understood.

“Let’s stay like this forever.” Midoriya clinks your glasses together, the air filled with electricity from all the unsaid words swirling around the both of you.

“Forever.” You smile, and this time, you are the one who breaks down the wall and snuggles close.

One day, you will get used to this. But for now, you just enjoy as the loud beats of your heart slowly lull you to sleep on the new sofa as the warm summer breeze soothingly caresses your face on this lovely Tuesday evening.

~•🥦•~ (extra)

You end up talking about random stuff until 11 PM; you only had one cider so you can’t even blame it on the alcohol, but at one point the conversation stops and you are both just staring at each other, taking all the small details in. You cheekily take another look at your flatmate’s lovely chest while taking a big sip of your beverage, and that’s when Midoriya decides to break the silence.

“You know, Kacchan told me I should get a nipple piercing.”

Needless to say, you choke on your drink and spit it all out; right at the poor guy’s above mentioned, perfect chest.

“You can’t fucking say shit like that without giving me a heads up!” You cough as Midoriya tries to clean himself up.

“Well, you were looking at them and I got embarrassed and blurted it out and now I’m also freaking out, because it was such a creepy thing to say, I’m so sorry!” He rambles, not even taking a single breath in between the words.

“Sorry for looking at your nipples!” You blurt out with a red face. “I completely zoned out! I think I should head to bed. Please, forget about this, I can’t believe we can’t have one day without me embarrassing myself in front of you!” You end up complaining.

“Hey, I really love when you say silly things like that. Please, never change, Y/N.” The hero winks, throwing your own words back at you.

You’ll never get used to this. Never.

… Next Part!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated 🥦

Random fun facts and rambling:

- Midoriya’s car exists and it’s absolutely stunning, look!

- All the plant names are real, I actually went to a garden center for this chapter! 😂

- Midoriya’s shopping problem was based on myself. Needless to say, my whole flat is a jungle at this point.

- This series will be really fucking long so I hope you don’t mind that. Every time I write a chapter I come up with three more chapter ideas. It’s killing me. I also can’t stop writing it hence why I have another chapter almost ready by the time I’m uploading this.

- The next chapter will be called “Reality Check”. Does it sound ominous enough? *evil laugh*

Taglist: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo

[trickphotography2]

D-Day by TrickPhotography | Chapter 4

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female!reader

Word count: 3.6k

Synopsis: After finding out his girlfriend is pregnant, Jake is ready to move in and get married. The last thing he expected was to be hit with a six-month deployment at sea and missing the birth of his first child.

Chapter 3 | Master List | Ao3

---------------------------------------

Chapter 4

A chiming sound echoed through your bedroom. Cracking one eye open, you reached for the phone and saw an alert from your smart doorbell sayings someone had just rung it. The app showed a live video of Jake standing outside of your apartment, arms clasped behind his back. Eyes flitting up to glance at the time, you groaned and turned on the mic. “What are you doing here?” 

Jake bent and smiled at the camera. “Morning. Ready to go?”

“Go away,” you grumbled while unplugging the device and slipping out of bed. His answering laugh doubled, echoing through the speaker and from the front door as you neared. Closing the app, you set the phone on the coffee table while passing. 

Last night, he’d teased you about how empty your refrigerator was - “looks like a college kid’s, just condiments and soda” - when he’d gotten the ketchup. You’d ordered him to shut the hell up and informed him it was grocery weekend. Without hesitation, he’d replied, “Fine, we’ll hit the store before getting the car.” No matter how much you tried to assure him that you would order a car to take you to get the rental your insurance was paying for, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Might as well use my truck for your shopping - you never know how big a vehicle they’ll give you.” He ignored you when you said you could have groceries delivered if that was an issue.

Jake heard the lock click, and the door cracked open. When it didn’t move further, he waited a moment before pushing it open and stepping inside. After relocking it and kicking off his shoes, he walked towards the kitchen to see you pouring a glass of water with your back to him. A smile tugged at his lips as his eyes swept over you, taking in your soft, sleep-rumpled appearance. When you opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of aspirin, he frowned. “How are you feeling this morning?” 

“A bit sore,” you replied, washing down two pills and turning to see him sipping from a coffee cup on the other side of the kitchen island. Your eyes fell to an iced latte on the counter by his elbow and slowly rose to meet his gaze. The corners of his eyes crinkled at your confused look. With a wink, he set it in front of you and moved to sit on the couch, draping his arm across the back. The image of him sitting there - smiling at you in his casual t-shirt and jeans, coffee cup balancing on his thigh - made your breath catch. Leaving the water in favor of the latte, you made your way over and plucked the blanket off the cushions, pulling it over your shoulders to hide that you weren’t wearing a bra. Rather than retreating to your corner of the couch, you sat in the middle. A light touch caressed the back of your neck as you sipped the coffee.

“How’d you sleep?” After setting your cup on the table, you turned to face Jake, eyes narrowed. He raised an eyebrow, lifting his coffee to hide his smile. Shaking your head, you turned onto your side, back to him, and brought your knees to your chest. 

“I’d still be sleeping if you knew how to tell time,” you mumbled, resting your head on the back cushion and closing your eyes. Chuckling low, he gently tugged a strand of your hair.

“Not a morning person, I take it.” Shaking off the blanket from your hand, you lifted your middle finger high enough for him to see and shushed him. There was movement, then he wrapped an arm around your chest and tugged you backward. Flailing at the unexpected pull, you drove an elbow into his stomach and heard him grunt. His chest hit your back as he curled over, shoving a hand between you to rub where you’d hit him. 

Clapping a hand to your mouth to stifle a laugh, you turned to see Jake lift his head and playfully glare when he saw the tears glistening in your eyes, shoulder shaking with silent laughter. “Y-you okay?” you forced out between giggles. 

“Anyone tell you that you’ve got bony elbows?” 

“Suck it up, Mr. Six-Pack.”

“It’s Lieutenant Six-Pack. I could have you brought up on charges for damaging government property.” 

“Poor baby, want me to kiss it better?” you teased without thinking. Grinning, Jake twisted to lean back onto the couch arm, bringing his leg up to rest beside you and lifting the hem of his shirt. Your eyes darted across his taut stomach, and heat rose in your face as you met his gaze. He raised an eyebrow in challenge. Lifting your chin, you shrugged off the blanket and turned to face him.   

Brushing the hair from your face, you placed a hand on his shoulder and the other on his leg still resting on the floor. Your knees pressed into the couch as you straddled his thigh. Jake shifted, throat bobbing. Slowly, you lowered yourself to brush a featherlight kiss against his stomach once…twice…three times.

The muscles under your hand jumped, and you saw his cock twitch in his jeans. Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you saw his hands flexing, gripping his shirt and the couch to keep from touching you. The way he looked at you was dizzying - green eyes hazy with lust, tongue darting out to wet his lips. With a mocking look, you sat back onto your heels and cooed, “I hope that helps, Lieutenant. Wouldn’t want you out of commission because of my bony elbows.” 

Jake’s eyes fell to your breasts, nipples pebbled under your thin shirt, and nodded. “Much obliged, Ma’am,” he replied, voice rough. Holding your gaze, he bent his leg, planted his foot on the couch, and tipped you forward. Your breath caught, arousal pooling in your lower stomach as your clothed core dragged along his thigh. Smiling, he dropped his shirt and released the couch. His left hand drifted to your knee, lightly dragging his fingers and slowly inching higher. His right hand covered your left, taking it from where it rested on his chest. Gently, he pulled you forward while extending your arm so it rested on the couch behind his head, bringing you face to face. Goosebumps rose as he trailed his fingers up and down your arm, curling his hand around your wrist and holding it in place as he brushed his lips across your skin. “Almost friendly of you.” 

“Can’t have that,” you breathed, moving your right hand to his shoulder to steady yourself. His fingers slid under your shorts, and a calloused palm curled around your hip. Green eyes drifted across your face before focusing on your lips. His tongue darted out to wet his own, and you mirrored the action. 

“Course not,” he agreed. Chest to chest, every inhale teased your nipples. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he leaned up to brush his nose against yours. To place a glancing kiss on your cheek. Your chin. Nudge your head back to press a line of open-mouthed kisses down your throat. Your breath quickened as he ran his tongue along your pulse point before blowing softly, making you shiver at the cool counterpoint. His hand left your arm to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing your lower lip. Guiding you closer, his lips hovered over yours. “We’re not friends,” he said, the warmth of his breath whispering over your skin. 

Jake pulled away before you could close the distance between you. Smiling at your dazed expression, he stretched out his leg and tucked his arms behind his head. “You should go get ready - gotta get your shopping done.” 

With shaky legs, you stood. His hand shot out to steady you, a smug smirk tugging on his lips. 

If he wanted to tease, two could play that game. 

Your eyes drifted down his body, lingering where his erection pressed against the fly of his jeans. The corner of your mouth tipped up, and he shifted under your gaze, hips lifting off the couch before settling again. Pressing your fingertips to his chest, you walked around the couch, trailing your fingers over his body. You lightly scratched the back of his neck, enjoying how he leaned into your touch. It was your turn to smirk as your hands rested on his shoulders. Thumbs lightly pressed into the muscles at the base of his neck, and he stiffened before relaxing into your gentle kneading.

“So tense,” you cooed, stepping close enough that his head rested against your stomach when it lulled back, eyes falling closed. “And you spent all day in the F-18 yesterday, didn’t you? I know those cockpits aren’t very comfortable, especially the ejection seat.” Slowly, you moved one hand from his shoulder, nails ghosting along the line of his collarbone before descending down his sternum. His pecs twitched. Bending, you pressed a kiss to the back of Jake’s neck. “Mmmh, and if your Environmental Conditioning System isn’t working?” Nudging his head to the side, you leaned forward to nip gently at his pulse point before soothing it with a kiss. With satisfaction, you watched his Adam’s apple bob. “With how warm it’s been, I imagine the cockpit gets very hot. Makes it hard to concentrate.” He caught your wandering hand as it reached his stomach. 

“Just relax while I get ready. I’ll be quick.” When you tried to pull away from him, his grip tightened momentarily before releasing. Hands lightly pressed on his shoulders, you leaned close enough to whisper in his ear, “Don’t worry if you hear anything in the shower.” 

He groaned loudly as you stepped away. Yours was muffled in the crook of your arm as the water rained overhead, coming harder than you had in a while.

An hour later, you sat in the truck’s passenger seat, stealing glimpses of Jake from behind your sunglasses. When you’d gotten out of the shower, he’d cast a few lingering glances your way and had definitely looked down your t-shirt when you'd bent to put on your shoes but had otherwise acted as though nothing happened. After handing you the watery iced coffee and confirming the store you wanted to go to - which you’d done with a single word - he’d towed you out of the apartment. 

He drove with one hand casually holding the wheel while the other tapped the beat of a radio song on the shifter. Feeling your gaze, he asked, “What?”

“You’re a dick.” His laugh was loud in the cab as you crossed your arms. 

“Feelin’ a bit frustrated, darlin’?” he asked, reaching over to place his hand on your jean-clad upper thigh. “Just gotta agree to a date, and I’d be happy to lend a hand.” 

Blushing, you grabbed your coffee and mumbled, “No need - already took care of it.” Jake glanced over and dipped his chin so you could see his molten green eyes over the rim of his sunglasses, a smirk playing on his lips. With a sigh, you stretched across the center console to press a finger to his jaw, turning his attention back to the road. “Focus on driving, Seresin.”

“You’re making it pretty damn hard.”

“Pun intended?” you asked innocently, earning a groan in response as he squeezed your thigh. “I’m curious - do you get off on teasing women or something? Is that why they call you Hangman?”

“Not exactly. And you gave as good as you got. Better, actually, since it sounds like you had some fun in the shower.” Rather than reply, you pressed your lips together and tilted your head. 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“What?”

“What’s wrong with you? What’s your damage?”

“Can’t just ask that and not expect a clarification.” Sighing, you dropped your head back onto the seat, knowing your next words would only serve to stroke his ego.

“I mean this in the least flattering way possible, but you’re nice, funny, have a good job, and are attractive,” you ticked off the characteristics on your hand. “You’re an actual good guy - so what’s the catch? Why are you still single?” 

Rather than smirking and giving some sarcastic retort, Jake sighed. His grip on the wheel tightened before switching hands to rest his elbow on the door and run a hand through his hair. “I, uh… got divorced about two years ago. Haven’t really been looking to get into a relationship since then.”

“Oh.”

“It’s fine. It was over for a while, just took some time to file the paperwork.” 

“Can I ask what happened?”

“Military life,” he shrugged. “We met at my first base, and it was fine when I was stationed there, but she… struggled when I deployed. And when I got orders out here… well, let’s just say she’s happier back in New Orleans.”

“I’m sorry, Jake.” 

“It’s fine,” he repeated, then cleared his throat. “What about you? Why are you single?”

“Because men don’t like women who don’t need them, and I refuse to pretend I do.” That made him chuckle, and he glanced over as you shifted to face him. “I grew up in the military and watched my mom deal with my dad’s deployments. You can’t watch your mom basically be a single parent for a year at a time and not realize that you can’t lose yourself in a relationship and need the other person to be with you all the time.” 

“Sounds like you’ve been dating boys, baby - not men.” After a moment, he asked, “Are your parents still together?”

“Thirty-nine years in March. Yours?”

“Yeah.” His jaw ticked, but he didn’t say anything more. You were quiet as he turned into the parking lot of the big box store and started to look for a spot. He finally pulled into one and turned off the ignition, letting his hand fall back to the shifter. 

“Hey,” you said, placing your hand on his forearm and waiting for him to look at you. “Thanks for telling me.” Swallowing hard, Jake nodded. He’d known that telling anyone he was interested in about the divorce would be hard, but he hadn’t expected it this soon.  

“Any failed marriages you want to share?” he asked after a moment. Smiling softly, you shook your head.

“Closest I got to the aisle was marrying my second-grade boyfriend at recess.” After a moment, you pushed your sunglasses to the top of your head and, hesitantly, reached over to take Jake’s off. His green eyes were guarded as they met yours. “Can I ask you a serious question?” When he nodded, you took and released a deep breath. “I don’t understand why you’re trying so hard.” 

“You’re smart, funny, gorgeous, and make me laugh. Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with you?”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Chuckling, he shook his head. 

“I know I’ve been out of the game for a while, but I thought that was the whole point of dating - getting to know someone.” 

“How long?” At his questioning look, you clarified. “How long have you been out of the dating game?” 

“Married at 25, separated at 30, divorce was finalized at 32.” 

“And you haven’t dated anyone since then?” 

“I…uh…” he said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I’ve seen people, but not dated.” He admitted to your lack of reaction, “I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, and you’re making it very hard to stick to that.” 

“I’m not judging you for having fun. But I’m not looking for casual.”

“Me either.” 

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you murmured, “Please don’t make me regret this.” 

“I will pay you to get this for me,” Jake said, holding up a container of protein powder. “It’s so much cheaper here.”

“I’ll send you the money for these. They’re the best snack in the cockpit,” he said, tossing a box of meal replacement bars into the cart. 

“That’s a good deal… do you mind if I get these too?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. It had been a bit tense when you’d left the truck and awkward when he’d threaded your fingers together while walking through the parking lot. At the store entrance, he’d lifted your hand to press a kiss to the back before retrieving a cart. Once inside, he’d teased you at first about buying things in bulk but quickly matched you almost item for item in the cart. You remarked that he should buy a membership, to which he’d shrugged and said he could just come with you. Any time you reached for a heavy item, he nudged you out of the way to get it. You didn’t bother to hide your appreciation of his arms as he grabbed you a case of flavored water. He clearly noticed and flexed his biceps more than necessary.

Roaming the aisles, you asked one another questions. You found out that he had a younger sister, and he learned about your hobbies. He told you about falling in love with flying, and you told him about changing from engineering to English. He talked about attending the Naval Academy and graduating with a degree in physics. You playfully swatted him when he teased you about dodging the ‘Chair Force’ when you had mentioned almost joining the military.

Jake stopped the cart in the snack aisle and grabbed a huge container of animal crackers. Cocking an eyebrow, he asked in a horrible Australian accent, “North or south?” 

A couple of hundred dollars later, you were back in the truck with his hand on your thigh as he drove back to your apartment. “I was a kid with a chip on my shoulder and something to prove,” he shrugged. “Made some choices and was an asshole, so that’s why they call me Hangman.” 

“Are you still that kid?” you asked. He’d alluded throughout the day that he hadn’t had the best childhood but wouldn’t say anything directly. 

“Am I still the same asshole I was at 23? I have my moments, but I hope not.” 

“God, I can’t imagine getting stuck with a nickname that young for the rest of my life.” 

“It’s grown on me,” he shrugged again. “Proved I’m one of the best pilots in the Navy, at least.” Taking your hand, he lifted it to brush his lips across your knuckles. “Hear it more than my own name, most of the time.” 

“Oh yeah? Is that going to be the excuse when you ignore me calling your name?” 

“You call me, darlin’, and I’ll answer to anything.” 

“Asshole?” His laugh echoed in the cab.

Jake stood back as you circled the rental car to inspect for damages with the agent, noting the dings and dents. When the keys were handed over and the woman returned to the store, he stepped forward as you unlocked the car and opened the driver’s side door, creating a barrier between you. They’d given you a small sedan - definitely would have been big enough to do your shopping with, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret spending the morning with him. 

Crossing your arms over the top of the door, you smiled. “Thanks for everything today.” 

“Thanks for helping me get my cardio in,” he replied. When bringing the groceries up to your apartment, he’d groaned about you living on the third floor, quipping that stairs weren’t his favorite form of cardio. You flushed, remembering how the morning had kicked off, shifting to ease the dull ache between your thighs at the memory of his lips caressing your skin. Of course, he caught the movement, and a smirk flitted across his mouth as he lifted a hand to cradle your jaw. His thumb swept across your cheek, nudging the frames of your sunglasses. “Lemme make you dinner.”

“You do realize how dangerous it is for a woman to go to a man’s house for a first date, right?”

“Good thing this wouldn’t be our first date.” You pulled away, his fingers trailing along your neck, and frowned.

“Pretty sure it would be.”

“Third - last night we had dinner and a movie, and we spent all day together today.” 

“We are not counting last night as a date,” you scoffed. 

“I had to sit through two of your Michael Bay movies. It counts.” 

“You fell asleep during one of them!”

“So did you. Still counts.”

“Today was errands.” 

“Ice cream date.”

“Wow, if you think grabbing an ice cream from a big box food court is a date, I really need to lower my standards.”  

“Had to work with what you gave me. If you’d let me take you out the first time I asked - ”

“A napkin with your number is a really smooth way to do that, by the way.”

“Got us here, didn’t it?”

“Pretty sure it took vehicular destruction to get us here.” His smile broadened, lines bracketing his mouth and nose scrunching. 

“You’re not gonna make things easy on me, are you?”

“Nope,” you replied, popping the ‘p.’ “Gotta keep that cocky pilot ego in check.”

His thumb swept across the curve of your lower lip. “Dinner?”

“I can’t - I have a lot of stuff I need to get done today.”

“Tomorrow?”

“You wanna spend the whole weekend with me, Seresin?” you teased. 

“A hell of a lot more than a weekend,” he shrugged, gifting you with a soft smile. Something in your chest fluttered. Wordlessly, you nodded. “I’ll text you my address.”

“Make sure you clear out the other girls in the meantime.” Shaking his head, Jake leaned down to brush his lips across your forehead.

“New leaf, remember? Let me know when you get home. Drive safe.” Nodding, you ducked into the car and smiled at him as he closed the door for you. Rolling down the window, you rested your arm on the door and smirked.

“See you tomorrow, Seresin.” 

“See you tomorrow, darlin’.”

-------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Jake, in my opinion, is definitely a relationship guy. He's not opposed to casual but prefers to have a partner - which is why I think he would have done the typical military thing and married young. A lot of this story is pulling from my own experiences growing up as a military brat, having close friends and a long history of family members in the military, and now working with veterans.

Yes, there are fuck boys who enjoy messing around, but loneliness is a huge issue on both the soldier and family side. Soldiers marry young for the benefit (Tricare is not that great but the increase in housing allowance and getting to move out of the dorms is a draw), but also so they have some stability when they get orders every few years to relocate. Divorce is pretty common, though, and higher in the military than in the civilian world. It is really hard on the soldier and spouse to be separated for deployments, adjust when they get back, have little control over your life, and often times move away from your family and support network for the first time. Add kids to the mix? Even harder. So... yeah... that's why I think that Jake's a relationship guy.

(Forgot to add that Chair Force is what a majority of the other military branches call the Air Force because they tend to have better accommodations and deployments. My dad jokes about how they were able to rig up an air conditioned tent while the Army guys sweltered in the Middle East during a deployment.)

-------------------------------------------------

Read Chapter 5

Tag list:

@memeorydotcom; @alldaysdreamers; @genius2050; @djs8891; @caitsymichelle13; @dempy; @midnightmagpiemama; @lovelyladymayyyy; @caidi-paris; @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby; @bellaireland1981; @lethargicluv

[twistedhypersonicnavigator]

Day 4: Sound

(Trigger Warning: Accident during battle resulting in hearing loss)

Multi Battles were fun, Emmet loved to watch his brother battle from over his shoulder. Their pokemon had been trained to fight together, compliment one another, draw upon one another, and even help if one is down.

Ingo watched his brother as he once again used his Electross. the water pokemon across from them simply didn't have what it took to take Emmets electric types down.

The pokemon fell back onto its rump before disappearing back into its pokeball. the trainer none to pleased.

"You think you've got me?" He laughed holding up a master ball in his hands. Ingo narrowed his eyes at the person. He threw the pokeball down and smiled. "Got this one at a Bazaar." He smiled as it opened and out came a Legendary pokemon that was none to pleased to have been selected by someone he didn't know.

"No wait, this pokemon is a legendary you are not allowed to use Legendary or mystic pokemon in battle subway." Ingo tried as the guy tried his best to recall the pokemon, to quail the anger, even called out another water type to try to pour water onto it. It only angered it worse.

Ingo had no choice but to break battle protocol least they loose battle subway. the interior was beginning to melt, even the glass burst. He threw out his pokemon and ordered them to battle just as soon as he realized what was about to happen. Emmet went for the fire extinguisher to at least use it on the door to get them out if need be.

the extinguisher was right next to the pokemon. As soon as Emmet reached out for the canister. It burst causing Emmet to fly back into the exterior wall on the other side of the arena.

"Emmet!" the sound fluctuated and it hurt to hear. Emmet turned to look up at the worried look on his brothers face. He could see just over his brothers shoulders the Entei being pushed back by Ingo's pokemon. Before Emmet lost consciousness he had a little thought.

'iced tea sounded great.'

(A few hours later)

"Iced tea?" Elesa asked as she looked down at the subway boss. His usual clothing in a locket not to far from there, which meant he had to take a ride on the medical subway. It was like an ambulance, but it was in the underground.

He hated to use it, it meant that the usual bad tempered medic was in there. He was scary.

"Emmet, how are you feeling?" Elesa asked, Emmet however didn't answer. He continued to look at the tv that was broadcasting everything. Although Emmet couldn't hear anything.

"Its okay Ingo's cleaning everything up. He asked me to stay with you." Once again, not a single look on his eternal smiling face. "Emmet?" Nothing.

Elesa reached out and touched him. He looked up at her and smiled even more, he didn't look like he was in to much pain.

"Can you turn up the tv? I can't hear it. I want to know what happened." the volume was at a desired level.

"Emmet?" Elesa asked. Emmet looked around at the tv and then back at her.

Elesa used the sign language and asked. 'Emmet can you hear anything?" She asked. He shook his head. "I'll be right back." She left the room only to come back in with the scary medic who seemed like he didn't look to be to pleased with being disturbed. the ketchup on his shirt said he was eating previously.

"And you say he ain't heard anything?" He grabbed something out of his pocket and fit a black tube onto it and looked into Emmets ears and nodded. then looked into the other. "Yup they's busted." He stuffed it back into his pocket and sighed looking around at Elesa. "Best start him on some medication then." He walked out again.

Emmet looked baffled at least until Elesa told him. Emmet was floored. this meant he would be out of work until he could hear what was going on. Great...

Elesa signed with a soft smile. "You should have seen how concerned Ingo was. he ran out of the battle subway carrying you like you were a small child. He's such a good big brother." Elesa signed.

"He's going to get into trouble. He had an Entei on the battle subway. We could have died." He growled and looked at the news and growled. "Ingo's okay...right?"

"And you're a good little brother. Worrying about your workaholic brother."

"We both work the same amount." Elesa smiled and nodded.

"I know." oh...she was calling him one too.

Great...what was he going to do for two weeks it took to fix the year drums? Oh! Knitting tiny sweaters for his Joltik.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Skeleton is hungry and saved a part of his favorite cake in the fridge. But when he gets down, he sees his brother, the mouth full of HIS cake. Reaction?

Undertale Sans - He faceplants dramatically on the floor and refuses to move for the rest of the day. Betrayed by his own brother. His soul can't take it. Papyrus pushes him with his foot in a corner so he doesn't stay in the middle of his way and tells him to get over it lol.

Undertale Papyrus - He's mad but used to it. He just sighs as Sans gives him a guilty-but-actually-not-at-all kind of look. That's fine. He can make another cake and put an advanced puzzle above it to dissuade Sans' slow mind from trying his chance. Also, the ketchup mysteriously disappears that night. Who would dare? Papyrus has no idea who could have possibly done this.

Underswap Sans - He grins his teeth and slowly turns towards Honey who stares at him blankly. "what?" "RUN." "aw come on bro it's only... ok... oh shit, blue no, no, nO!" Blue charges him. Honey screams but can't dodge him fast enough. Blue is fighting to get what's left of the cake as Honey is just screaming like he gets murdered, trying to keep it out of his reach.

Underswap Papyrus - He gives his brother the kicked puppy eyes all day long and refuses to talk to him. He only stops when feeling guilty, Blue goes out to buy another cake lol. Honey then acts like nothing happened, happy he managed to manipulate his brother.

Underfell Sans - "da fuck?! why is that for?!" "I WAS HUNGRY!" "stop shittin me ya hate cake!" "WHAT IF I LIKE CAKE NOW?" "look at ya're face ya look like ya're dying." "WELL MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THE CAKE IF YOU HADN'T EAT MY FAVORITE ICE CREAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!" "that was two weeks ago! how can you be a freaking captain and such a child?! get over it already!" "I'M NOT A CHILD YOU'RE THE CHILD" "oh yeah? want to try me, child?" Ok, Red maybe got too far and realized it when Edge suddenly jumped at his face to fight him. And ok, maybe he got beaten up like a loser. But still! His cake!

Underfell Papyrus - He growls at Red, who continues eating, not giving a shit. Well, until Edge grabs a trash bag and starts pouring his mustard bottles in it. Red starts to panic and even lets him the rest of the cake. Good. He doesn't care about the cake anyway, he doesn't like cake. He just wanted to cause chaos because he felt like it.

Horrortale Sans - He stares at Willow without blinking the whole time he eats the cake. Willow feels uncomfortable but also he baked the cake and woke up early so go to hell he's not giving him his cake. Oak will continue to follow him all day, just staring at him silently, judging.

Horrortale Papyrus - He facepalms. Of course, Oak would do this. Oak looks at him like a sad puppy, and slowly pushes what's left of the cake his way as an apology. Willow sighs and gives him back. He can have ice cream instead...

Swapfell Sans - He slowly turns towards Rus. Rus waves at him, mouth full of cake, then disappears in thin air. Nox let's go a high-pitched screech that broke two windows.

Swapfell Papyrus - The next day, there are Wanted posters everywhere in the house and in the street with Nox's face offering a price for his capture, saying he is a dangerous cake stealer and to not act alone.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He could never find the courage to say something to his brother so he says nothing. That's good because Coffee absolutely knows it and that's the reason he ate that cake in the first place. Coffee is an expert at manipulation when he wants.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - "you ate...my cake?" he asks with a trembling voice, staring at his brother with tearing eyes. Wine immediately panics saying that it's obviously not his cake because he would have never done this and to let him five minutes before he runs to the door to buy another cake. Coffee shrugs and goes to sit in the couch. Breakfast is coming apparently.

[milkybonya]

ketchup_sdh

!: nothing but fluff because my heart is always soft for big naughty boi

#: rapper boyfriend!big naughty x (gn)reader, a lil studio date vibe <3

[💌: idk why but suddenly im just like my biggest fear is Donghyun somehow finding my fics about him and being like ew blockedt ,, he is a child of the internet lowkey im scared LOL I SHOULD SLEEP]

you knock on the door to Donghyun's studio. not hearing a response, you open the door just slightly to find your boyfriend sitting at his desk, headphones on and probably producing music.

carefully, you walk towards him and once you're close enough, you draw a heart on his back. immediately, he knows it's you. it's like your secret little signal for each other: if someone draws a heart on your back with two fingers, you know it's Donghyun, and he also knows it's you if it ever happens to him.

he removes his headphones and turns around with a smile he just can't hide despite trying to. he doesn't wanna seem like he's absolutely head-over-heels in love with you but he just is.

"y/n?! when did you get here?" he asks, hand over his mouth as he hides his smile.

"just now," you reply, kissing the back of his hand.

he jerks it away from his mouth and whines, leaving you laughing.

"is producing going well, big baby?" you ask, patting and stroking his head. he looks adorable under your touch and you melt.

"mhm."

"i'm not interrupting, am i?" you ask, suddenly worried.

he shakes his head and says, "no, i was just about to take a break anyway!"

he pulls you onto his lap, letting your legs rest on the seat inbetween his own legs. you relax against his chest and he takes hold of your hands, slowly swivelling from side to side in his chair as he basks in your warmth and scent.

"did you eat?" you ask Donghyun.

"was gonna," he replies quietly, hoping he wouldn't worry you.

"shall we order some delivery?" you ask.

he giggles in agreement, but also because of the way he can hear your voice vibrating through your body and onto his own chest, which you still lay against.

you pull out your phone and scroll through the different restaurants, Donghyun watching behind you and humming in approval as you show him the options. eventually, you both decide on something and as you wait for the food to arrive, Donghyun plays some of his unreleased songs for you.

he has you sit in his seat as he stands up and gives you a half-live performance, singing and dancing along to his self-produced beats. seeing you crack up as he twerks makes him laugh, too, and you both get butterflies seeing each other in such a happy state.

once the food arrives, you both sit on the floor to share the meal, Donghyun playing whatever movie or youtube video you both decide to watch in the moment. he shares his food with you and you do the same, smearing ketchup on his nose and calling him rudolph.

"ahhh y/n you can't do this to me! right when i'm about to eat? all i have is soup in front of me, i can't even defend myself... unless i pour it on you, but it's scorching hot!" Donghyun complains.

you shrug your shoulders at him, sticking out your tongue until he quickly bring his face close to yours. his wet, ketchup-y nose gently touches yours, spreading the sauce onto your own face, too.

"now there's two rudolphs," your boyfriend points out.

you lean forward this time, cleaning his nose with a single kiss. Donghyun scrunches up his face and balls up his fists while whining the whole time, but he's blushing when you pull away, hiding his face.

"a-are you obsessed with kissing me today or something?" he stutters.

you stick your tongue out at him again, trying to return to what's playing on the computer screen when Donghyun kisses the ketchup away from your nose, too. you immediately feel warmth bubbling up from within you, your nose tingling from the contact.

you both stare at each other for a few moments before laughing it off, properly wiping the ketchup away and tucking into your meal.

at some point, you both end up laying on the floor, using Donghyun's arms as pillows: one went beneath your head and the other went beneath his own. side by side in your food coma, you listen to Donghyun as he hums a song.

"we should probably walk the food off instead of laying here.. it'll make us feel worse," you point out.

"but i prefer laying here with you," Donghyun whines, turning towards you and snuggling into your side.

your fingers automatically come up to run through his soft locks, and he almost sounds like he's purring as you caress him.

"okay, Donghyun-ah... let's stay here," you say, quietly.

his breathing evens out and you think that your pretty boy has fallen asleep while laying on the ground by your side. you turn to gently kiss his chin, since that's the only spot you can reach, before starting to fall asleep, yourself.

you don't notice the way Donghyun smiles brightly to himself, having been awake and still reeling from the way you tenderly petted and kissed him.

[skeleton-mischief]

Killer "Serrif"

Is he really a Sans? Does it matter? Killer doesn't think so, and it doesn't matter to him. After all, he's alone. Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone,

A L O N E....

- Official Height: 5'4

- He/Him

- Nihilist

- Perceptive, clever, confident, assertive, stubborn, cynical, blunt, optimistic, teasing, untrusting, deceitful, sarcastic, persuasive, erratic, social, cocky, dependant, careless

- Has a liking for the color green and red

- Can have a quick temper

- Named Killer because the nickname he had given Chara turned into an actual name for himself

- Curses often and his favorite word is shit

- Specially skilled with knives

- A little fucking shit

- Forgets things often, leaving him to knock on his skull when trying to remember something

- Talks to himself a lot, a habit he picked up

- Tries to "befriend" everyone

- Surprisingly quite patient when he chooses to be

- Constantly wipes away the ooze pouring from his eyes when it drips

- Black ooze spills from his eyes when crying, so he always has tissues in his inbox

- Laughs during inappropriate times

- He catches himself envying others sometimes, so he gets quieter when this happens

- Both internal sides of his soul argue about their opinions on things, so he usually has neutral opinions on things, leaving him indecisive on simple items

- He doesn't drink ketchup anymore

- Is quite lonely, especially after things went quiet for awhile

- Makes rude comments like the way a child is brutally honest

- He chugs energy drinks a lot to keep awake, he doesn't like sleep since he often has bad dreams

- Loves to mess around with instruments

- He's very touch oriented so he can't stand staying still. He tends to also get in people's space as a result

- Magic smells of iron, magic tastes of cranberries

- He would call his lover Doll

- He adores cats but does not own one of his own since he doesn't want them to get hurt

- When away from the underground he grows to have more fashion sense

- Drinks alcohol frequently, since he was left alone with it in the underground and grew thirsty

- Avoids getting emotionally invested in others

- Fucking eats chocolate UP

- He avoids yellow flowers like buttercups, but he likes roses and overall more red flowers. Yellow ones remind him of days long past

- Hates having anything to do with fate, so he often will get irritated if someone starts rambling about "fate". To him, it's all about chance and choice

- His soul turns back to a heart when he's feeling, and which then involves a lot of crying while one eyelight glows a white

- picks things from out of his teeth with his pinky, since he doesn't carry toothpicks

- Bro has a crusty dusty jacket, he needs a bath💀

- Can never get along with other AU's except very very very rarely

- I think he would listen to ICP

- Avoids hurting animals at all costs, despite his nature

- Would be a horrible babysitter for anything. Give him a baby? He lost it. Keep your keys in his pocket? He lost it. Your faith in him? He lost that pretty quickly

- His gaster blasters are fuzzy and slightly glitchy, not quite present. It is a last resort when he's out of knives since he uses a lot of magic already. His soul can visibly spike and he ends up feeling completely drained to the point it hurts using his magic

- Is able to detect FEAR when staring into another's soul, in which he'll mock them

- Hates being belittled or compared to others

- His magic bones are jagged and red tinted

- Hates seeing himself in reflections, so he avoids mirrors by cloaking them or shattering them

- He dreams of Papyrus and it feeds into his guilt. He gets shaken up by it every time

- A small white eyelight will show itself if he's either his 'normal' self or if he's super comfortable with someone

- He doesn't care for puns anymore, often teasing others or using dark humor instead

- Tends to play with victims during his sprees, as he enjoys teasing them and loves the chase

- He rarely feels remorse for hurting others, but it's possible

- It's not recommended to challenge him, as he feels that he has to win at all costs and tends to be quite tricky as a result through loopholes. He doesn't quite "cheat"

- Rarely does he lose or allow himself to admit defeat. Sometimes he'll even discard the challenge and deal unless they're stronger or best him in a way he finds acceptable

- He is a light sleeper due to paranoia, often waking up with a slightly jittery or skittish response

- Even if he has left others behind to chase a target, it's mainly because he's a chaser. His speed, dexterity, and stamina are his best qualities. He can outrun any other Sans, but he always makes sure to let them have some "leniency"

- Rarely does he quit chasing someone, not unless told not to (depending on different interpretations where he works for Nightmare) or if he's grown to become utterly devoted to those he's close with and decides to help them

- Rarely can be actually create emotional bonds with others, often having "partnerships" or "deals" instead

- Can only keep track of two things: his target of interest (monster, human, item, animal. For hunting or otherwise) and his knives

- Has fun executing those that he deems against his fucked up moral code. If he deems them horrible, then they must be. It's his preferred execution, and so he tends to actually avoid killing those that are aligned as neutral or good. He isn't against hurting them though, and only kills them if necessary

- He doesn't care for humans and seems to actually prefer attacking them instead, since they're not made of just magic. They bleed and can take more hits

-He is partially unable to feel pain, so even if his skull is cracked or if his bones are broken, he just laughs about it and even snaps things back in place

-He usually smiles, but there are times where he's absolutely pissed and is unable to force it. It's his default appearance, sometimes leaving him sore

- This based off my own little twist of the AT, and so this can be entirely ignored. I feel that there is more to his dynamic with Chara because I personally don't think that Chara is evil. In fact, I think that both were forced by the Player, thus bonding as they broke their coding in order to not only feel something, but to also make it nearly impossible for the Player to "win." In this version, I feel that Chara was just morphed into something else due to Hate and Spite. In the end, I feel that after Killer destroyed Chara's soul, a part of it consumed and molded within him, this leaving him and Chara to sort of share a soul

Closing Notes: I have a lot of fun working with him, even when I found him sort of boring when I was younger. Some of my own little twists on what my personal hc's do influence my perception of him. I hope you guys enjoy this and aren't disappointed, don't be afraid to ask questions or throw in your own hc's for him! Thank you for reading =)

[meldelamel]

Chapter two

Chris woke up to the sound of the broom sweeping the floor. It was probably eight in the morning, and the kid had a hard time processing that they were in a different room.

“Oh, good morning, Chris!!! I hope I didn’t wake you up” It was Papyrus, who gave them a bright smile, still sweeping.

“Good morning! I’m not sure what woke me up, honestly”

“I guess I will have to force Sans to get out of bed. I don’t want to eat breakfast without him”

“I can wait a little bit”

“Alright then”

Chris splashed water on their face and went downstairs to sit on the couch. Papyrus was still cleaning his room, so they couldn't ask him for permission to watch TV. They decided to turn on the TV anyway, and wait for Papyrus's reaction. The first thing that appeared on the screen was a specific channel, in which a robot was presenting the news. The strange thing about that was that, instead of presenting relevant and chaotic news as Chris expected, this robot presented the craziest and most absurd news. They stared at the screen, confused, before hearing Papyrus’s voice upstairs.

“I see that you’re watching the Mettaton show, Chris!” he said, happily “I love that show”

He tried to finish cleaning quickly so he could sit next to the child, and talk with them about Mettaton, and his opinions on some stuff that was happening on screen, and some anecdotes.

“So my bestie’s girlfriend, Alphys, made Mettaton years ago” he was telling them, for example “She made Mettaton the first robot with a soul!!! Alphys is also trying her best to find a peaceful solution so we monsters can go to the surface!! Undyne is very proud of her. Undyne is my bestie, by the way, I can’t believe I didn’t told you about Undyne!!!”

“Mornin’ “ they both heard, and when they looked up, they saw Sans yawning, about to go downstairs.

“Oh, good morning, Sans! You woke up earlier today. Just a little” Papyrus said, with a sly smile.

“Yeah. When I heard you two talking, I knew I had to get outta bed if I didn’t want you to yell at me” he said, with a chuckle.

“You are getting good at predicting the future, brother” Papyrus said, and he got up from the couch “I must prepare breakfast now”

While Papyrus was in the kitchen, Sans sat next to Chris.

“How are you doing, kid? Didja sleep well here?” he asked, and the kid nodded “Good, good… Now we'll have to think what to do with you when we go to work. Maybe you should see the queen and stay there”

“But I don’t know where is she”

“I can take you there if you want to”

“I can hear you, Sans!!” his brother said, while making pancakes in the kitchen “You just want to get rid of them!!!”

“I’m just asking. They can stay home if they want”

“We’ll talk about that later! Now, set the table, Sans!”

Sans just used his magic to unfold a table, and put it in front of the kitchen. Then, he just closed his eyes, probably trying to nap a bit.

“Sans I told you to-!!! Arghhhh, whatever!!!”

Chris got up to help, but Papyrus ended up setting the table all by himself.

“You can use your magic to help me more, Sans” he said, with an exasperated sigh.

“But I can’t!” Sans whined, more to mess with his brother than anything else.

“Of course you can, bonehead!!”

“No, I’m not strong enouuuuugh…”

“Stop acting like a child and sit down!!”

Sans sat down, with a smile. Papyrus was serving the pancakes, irritated, before sitting as well.

Chris noticed how Sans was pouring ketchup… on the pancakes. Then, the skeleton smashed his face into the food. Chris kept staring at him, thinking they had seen it all. Then, they looked at Papyrus, who was picking up a whole pancake with his fork, and taking a bite. He noticed them and smiled at them brightly. Chris smiled back and started eating. They thought the brothers were hilarious, and they were feeling genuinely happy.

“So, where do we leave the kid?” Sans said, wiping the ketchup off his face with a tissue.

“What do you mean?” his brother asked, still eating.

“We have to work” “Oh, true… Well, they can’t be home alone…”

“You have to train with Undyne today, it’ll be messy if you take the kid with you. I’m just gonna be on the sentry station. I think I should take the kid with me”

“Are you sure, brother?” Papyrus asked, worried “Are you going to take good care of them?”

“Just trust me. I took care of you when we were kids and you turned out decent”

“Decent, huh?” he couldn’t help but smile, even if he wanted to be pissed at him “Okay, I will trust you. Make sure you return home with them”

“I’ll”

“You mean ‘I will’ ?”

“Yeah, sorry, I was feeling too lazy to say it correctly”

“Ugh, you are a mess…”

“But I’m your mess, right?” Sans smiled at him.

“I do not want to associate with any messes, thank you!!” his brother exclaimed, frowning “But… Well, I suppose you’re technically my mess since we are associated by the power of brotherhood…”

Sans laughed, finishing his pancakes.

“I guess we should head out, then” he said, looking at Chris “So you can get ready for training in peace, Paps”

“Alright, but come home early. And don’t take the human to that stupid bar!!!”

“Uh-huh. Well, come on, kiddo” Sans said, and Chris followed him to the front door.

&lt;- Previous (Chapter 1)

[jesuistrefatugie]

More Incorrect Quotes

Kim Soo Jin, on November 8th: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.

Choi Jung Soo: Forty five seconds?!?

Kim Soo Jin: No! I said four TO five seconds.

Choi Jung Soo, hugging Kim Soo Jin: Too late.

Kim Rok Soo: *flashbacks to when Soo Jin clung to him like a koala*

Kim Rok Soo, watching Soo Jin trying to escape Choi Jung Soo's hug:

Lee Soo Hyuk: Aigo... She's turned into a mini you...

Choi Jung Soo: Best birthday ever.

Kim Soo Min: Can we go out to get icecream?

Lee Soo Hyuk: Did you ask Kim Rok Soo?

Kim Soo Min: They said no.

Lee Soo Hyuk: Then why did you ask me?

Kim Soo Min: They're not the boss of you.

Lee Soo Hyuk, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Park Jin Tae: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Kim Rok Soo: Yeah-

Kim Soo Min: *kicks in the door*

Kim Soo Min: I'm throwing hands with the next person that insults Father.

Kim Rok Soo: I hate myself.

Kim Soo Min: Square up, bitch

Choi Jung Soo: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch".

Lee Soo Hyuk: I see you're passing on your name.

Kim Rok Soo: I am so glad you didn't name Soo Jin-ah

Kim Soo Jin: *nodding*

Kim Soo Min: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Choi Han is walking in this room.

Kim Rok Soo: *wheeze*

Choi Han: B-but we're the same age????

Park Jin Tae: Do we have any orange juice left?

Kim Soo Min: *pours the remaining juice into their cup*

Kim Soo Min: Sorry, we’re all out.

Kim Rok Soo: Where did you get that tomato soup?

Choi Han: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Kim Soo Min: Please tell me he doesn't cook for my sister.(Soo Jin)

Kim Rok Soo: Of course not.

Choi Han: I'm bored.

Kim Soo Min: Wanna commit first degree murder?

Choi Han: Sure!

Lee Soo Hyuk, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Park Jin Tae down!!

Kim Soo Min: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Kim Rok Soo: She's not wrong...

Choi Han: C- Rok Soo-Hyung, I don't think that's what she meant.

Kim Rok Soo: Seriously, Soo Jin-ah, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to?

Kim Soo Jin: That’s not important

Kim Rok Soo: I DISAGREE.

Park Jin Tae with a gun to Kim Rok Soo's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Kim Rok Soo: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

Kim Soo Min, standing behind Park Jin Tae: Neither will you

Kim Soo Jin: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Choi Jung Soo: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~

Kim Soo Jin: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Kim Rok Soo, recording: This is so cute.

*Kim Rok Soo teaching Choi Jung Soo to drive and taking Kim Soo Jin along for the ride*

Kim Rok Soo: That's a pothole. To the left!

Choi Jung Soo: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Kim Soo Jin, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Choi Jung Soo: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Kim Rok Soo, tired as fuck and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Choi Jung Soo: Country Roads.

Kim Soo Jin: To the place.

Choi Jung Soo and Kim Soo Jin in unison: I Belong!

Kim Rok Soo, texting Lee Soo Hyuk: Hyung help me

[abimee]

first on the docket for the academy is Parlsey, a 31 year old clubber and college dropout who gets inducted into the academy after meeting one of the headmasters at a bar. Her short stature, at 4 ft 3 inches, is due to a genetic condition passed through her family that limits the length of her arms and legs. Her favorite activites before coming to the academy included drinking, fashion blogging, video games, and making grotesque meal concepts to try out to the distate of others.

She is an ''undifitiable human" with her skill being hair, which she can braid into up to six unique arms that all work independetly of one another. She can alter the size and length of the arms, but has to untie and re-tie every braid to adjust the length. She has grown her hair out to be longer than her body to maximize the potential for these arms, but it comes at the cost of a lot of split ends, which in turn can make the hands very fragile and easily damaged by things like heat, making them useless for things like cooking. She doesn't know where she got this ability, but she's had it since she first started growing hair on her head, and was often shaved bald as a child to keep her from performing any antics with this ability.

shes brought into the Hall of Sorcery as an attempted alchemist, but due to her passion for drinking and awful cooking she is often prone to making random and inconsistent concoctions For The Hell of It, and rarely has a successful (in her teacher's eyes) creation. However, she considers her own work simply ''avant garde, and a little batshit'' and refuses to give up on her own process -- its this drive that has landed her in the spotlight of one of the other teachers in the hall of sorcery, a wizard who thinks she would fare better in the realm of spellcrafting, a more free-form study of chemicals than alchemy.

Parsley becomes fast friends with the two other recruits that came to the academy the same time as her --- the ghost student Thi being her closest friend of the group, and they share a living quarters together since Parsley wanted to bunk solo but was forced to have a roommate, and Thi roams the night to haunt the halls and so isnt a roomate thats around much. Parsley's favorite food is mashed potatoes covered in ketchup, and her drink of choice is a Crème de menthe poured into a can of Sprite

[pbandjesse]

And that ends our second week of camp. And it was a better week. We didn't lose power as much. The air quality was better. The food improved. There was other issues for sure but it was a good week.

And today was a pretty good day. I had trouble sleeping. There was a prank last night that went wrong and there was all the screaming around 11:00 and it was very unsettling. Which then led to a big silly conversation in the group chat. And I did fall asleep but then I woke up again at 5:00 and when I woke up for real at 8:00 I fell out of the hammock and startled myself real bad. But I had to get ready and things would be okay it just take me a little while to get myself together.

When I was dressed and everything I worked on cutting the rest of the looms that we would need for today and then was just chilling and waiting for the day to start. I took a little walk and I'm for the time I got back and settled again Tatiana was there. And we got to work on any prep we needed for the day. CJ would also join us and it was really nice to see her. I had found her water bottle so I was good to get that back to her. And she told me that besides the prank last night there was also some possible people leaving camp. I've heard at least three people so far. And the prank that went wrong was because the stockade boys went to do like a sort of ding dong ditch situation over in the girls village, but then the girls chased the boys back to stockade. We're the rest of the stockade boys were on top of the gate and poured ice water on them. The ice water part apparently was not approved and the counselors got all their phones ruined. So it's kind of a nightmare. I'm not sure if someone was fired because of that but I would not be surprised. Property damage is no joke.

CJ left and me and Tati continued to work on the stick looms for the little kids. And then I set up the loom that I brought in to make a bigger piece and she worked on her loom and it was just really nice.

And the groups were pretty good today. I had to be a little strong worded with a few of them because they were being disrespectful about the project. But it was just like one or two. Overall the kids really liked the weaving and this was a really successful project. I had one little boy at the end of the day tell me he has been coming to camp for 3 years and that this was their favorite project of any project that they've done and it just made me feel really good.

After my two morning groups I went down to get lunch. I did forget the specialty ketchup. But it was fine. We had weird vegetarian chicken sandwiches. And we had a couple CITs sitting at our table so I went to sit outside and everyone came and joined me. While we were sitting there I made a specialty staff group chat and I called it the most specialtiest chat. And I made a tiny bus the avatar. For the most special staff members.

After lunch I went for a walk again and went up to arts and crafts to make sure that everything was set up for the afternoon. And my group would not be on time. Because right before they were supposed to come there was really bad lightning and thunder. It was the whole reason I had left the lodge early. Only a few minutes earlier than I normally did but I didn't want to get trapped down there. And so I went up hung out in my hammock until it was raining too much and then came under the tent to chill. A child had given me their plushie to fix so I worked on that and then the thunder got really bad so I checked on Tatiana inside. And I tried to figure out if my groups were coming.

They were all held up in the lodge because they couldn't walk them across the field. But once there was a lull in the storm they did come up and originally I was going to have them go outside but then this guy got really really dark so I brought them inside and we worked on the floor and they were the littlest camper so they didn't really mind. And they did a pretty good job overall. And I was really happy with their counselors because they really were engaged with the kids and we're doing a very good job. We had music going and everyone was doing art and it was great. He only real issue was that because it was storming they couldn't leave and so we did not get our half an hour afternoon break. I was a little sad about that.

But once the storm let up they were able to go and collected all of their art and then tipis came and I talked to all of them about what they were going to be doing. And I was able to convince two of them to be my test subjects for metal casting.

And it was so fun. It was really interesting seeing what they figured out and I let them aged you too so that we could make some test ones and make some mistakes and we figured out that the metal getting poor directly under the ground and then while it's a little dirty it does not really matter. And so we played with that for a while and I made a little bear as an example but he's a little strange. It's definitely hard to pour the metal but it is going much better than I was expecting on that scale. And the two kids I was working out with were just really fun.

I checked on the kids outside periodically too and they were making bracelets and beating and having a blast. I'm really glad I have new beads coming though because while Julie had given me some and they're great there's not a lot of bracelet string left like the stretchy kind. And it would be nice to have more colorful stuff. So hopefully that will be here soon.

I also helped a boy who was working on his homestead coup. And he had to make a quilt square and I got him to cut little squares to sew them together into the quilt square. Just a really simple one but he had to do three lines of stitches. His first two went well. He has trouble threading the needle but that's fine. The third one though he did inside out and I said no you are not going to get a right off for me you did it wrong. So I cut it off and you could just tell he was so upset. He wasn't like showing it but he's like I just want to be done and I'm like I get that but also you're not going to rush through it and not do it correctly. You're two means nothing and you shouldn't get an award if you're not going to do it right. So I made him do it again.

I'm serious about this like if you're going to come to me to get something signed up you're going to do it right or you're not going to do it at all. I really don't think that I'm being unreasonable. I think there should be standards.

But that was fine. Tipis cleaned up and they headed out just as my last group of the day showed up.

Am I supposed to do a really good job. It was really just a nice way to end the afternoon and end the week. I cannot say as much for their counselors. Who were mostly sitting inside and not engaging with the kids at all. But you know what I don't care. I was having fun and that's important as well. I did not have it in me to go and ask them to get there stuff together because at this point it's Friday and if you haven't figured it out that's not my problem. I'll talk to Ray about it maybe next week if it continues.

Once everything was cleaned up I said goodbye to Tatiana and everyone else and closed up the building. I walk down to the office to check in with Heather. I told her that I didn't feel great because I have a weird cough in the back of my throat and just like a little uncomfortable. And I really just wanted to go home. She said that was fine and I did not need to help with pick up if I did not want to. And so I said goodbye and I went home.

I did check in with Alexi right before I left. Reminded her that I had to leave at 2:00 on Monday.

And then I was on the road. I got back here around 5:00. I had a little trouble parking because I was crooked. And she had to get out and check and park again. But it was not that pic of a deal. I was really happy to come inside and see James and James made me leftover pizza while I took a shower. And it was very nice to wash my hair.

I kind of fell apart after that though. Eating the pizza was good. James also has put the air conditioner on. Sweetp was here and I love sweetp. And James would go and get ice cream and that was so kind. But I felt horrible for a couple hours there. I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I am almost sure it was dehydration but I was just really uncomfortable.

Now though it is time to go to bed. Tomorrow I have the market. And I might go to Canton crossing because I have some stuff I want to pick up and I think it's finally time to replace my flip-flops from high school. They have finally fall apart too much. I tried cleaning them this week and they just started to disintegrate. So that's pretty sad. But these things happen. It was time. I've had them since I was 17. Honestly they might be older than that I don't even know. But I hope tomorrow is a good day and I hope that the weather is nice. I hope it's not so humid anymore. I hope you all sleep well. Good night everybody.

[philadelphia-hq]

"The way you make an omelet reveals your character."

ROSE RALEIGH

Age: 26 Gender and pronouns: Female, She/Her Occupation: Chef De Partie at Friday Saturday Sunday Neighborhood: Fishtown

BIOGRAPHY

tw: parental abandonment, cancer, infidelity

Rose Raleigh was the result of a quarter-life crisis.

Her mother, Alma, during a nervous breakdown of sorts, ran away from her husband and two children and landed herself in Philly while having what she described as “a nervous breakdown about her impending 30th birthday”. In a matter of weeks, after meeting him in the family diner where he worked, she was shacked up with Donny Raleigh in his apartment over the restaurant – named ‘Rosie’s Table’, a neighborhood staple. It wasn’t more than a month later that Alma was staring down two pink lines on a pregnancy test in Donny’s bathroom.

Her third child was on the way.

Fast forward to roughly eight months later, and Alma had had a change of heart about Donny, along with her husband and kids. Unceremonious would be the best way to describe her exit from the hospital after giving birth to her baby girl, jumping on the next flight out to reunite with her “real” family.

Donny didn’t think twice about what single-fatherhood would mean – the guy was all in.  He raised Rose (named after his mother, the diner’s namesake), in the apartment above the diner. Rose grew up around the sizzle of the fryers and the smell of grilled onions; Sunday brunch regulars gossiping over endless coffee refills and hungover college students begging for a bacon egg and cheese even though they were a buck short. As soon as she was old enough to refill a ketchup bottle and roll silverware in a napkin, Rose was on the payroll.

She wanted connection desperately, and it was so easy for her to find in the kitchen. Rose loved the feeling of nourishing people, being a part of their daily routines and special events by proxy of the food that she made for them. She soaked up every foodie blog she could stumble across – Donny even sprung for the extended cable package so they would get more cooking channels. It wasn’t a shock to anyone when she set her sights on Le Cordon Bleu in Paris.

(Thank god for scholarships and Donny had been setting aside a portion of his tips since the day she was born.)

With a huge send off at a neighborhood block party, Rose waltzed out to Paris…and quickly realized that she was in over her head. However, failing and disappointing everyone in the diner who believed in her was not an option. With dedication and stubborn will (and several unhealthy coping mechanisms), Rose came out the other side with her degree in hand and a world full of potential at her feet –

And ended up right back in the comfort of her father’s kitchen.

It was there that she met Greg, the son of a local plumber who was allergic to pickles (hence why she remembered his order). One date turned into two, two went on to twenty, twenty led to moving in together, which led to a wedding.

Two weeks after he walked her down the aisle, Donny was diagnosed with lung cancer.

For the first year nothing seemed different, aside from a cough and chemo (which still wasn’t enough to stop the guy from smoking). Then he needed to wheel oxygen around with him – that added another year. And then things went downhill fast, and Donny was bedridden and in a hospital more often than not. Unable to handle the operations of the diner anymore, he signed ownership over to his daughter – but medical bills continued to pile up and additional treatment was needed, and then eventually in home hospice care.

Rose sold ‘Rosie’s Table’ to cover the expenses. And Donny died the next day.

The two weeks later, on the last day the diner was open, Rose ended up fucking a friend over the prep counter after closing. Greg ended up seeing the security video.

Things went downhill fast.

Divorce paper's freshly sighed and living in a studio partment, she pours herself into her position as a line cook at one of Philly's most exclusive restaurants – smoking out back like a fiend, doing a line or two mid shift, and wondering how the hell she got here.

ROSE RALEIGH has the face claim of DAISY EDGAR JONES and is played by DELL.

[d0min0ndrea]

Someone let this child pour flour and ketchup all over the street. Later, he came to my retail lot and started bullying my employee. I'm not sure whether to tolerate the chaos or put an end to it.

[smartfeed]

Guilt Free Combo - Feed Smart

Description

Ketchup and chocolate are — a lethal combination, but our kids LOVE them. As parents, we don’t want to deny them anything. So we at Feed Smart want to empower you to give your child everything and anything that they want to eat.

Every time you pour a brown smile out of our chocolate jar of finger-licking goodness onto their pancakes, your little one will embrace the taste of healthy, high-nutrient ingredients rich in iron and vitamins.

Made from farm-fresh, red-ripe tomatoes, and pure vitamin-rich jaggery, our kid-friendly ketchup sauce is an immediate fam favorite. Kids love the extra-rich taste of its naturally sweet flavor, while parents enjoy the additional nourishment it provides during snack time.

Benefits

Mood-boosting nutrients for healthy smiles

6-9 months shelf life

Healthy fats & fiber

Sugar-free, Gluten Free & Dairy-free

100% clean products - no preservatives or additives. 

[amgabu]

name? gabu.

pronouns n gender? they/them. gabu.

sexuality? i like people i know.

country? usa of amnerica.

top 5 fandoms? little witch academia, i cant think of any but i used to be in an overwatch fandom n undertale too probably.

What is your Most forbidden snack? i make microwave smores n use marshmallow fluff instead of normal marshmallows.

Would you pet a bug? i have once in a while, i would do it again. they're cute.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i remember being in a middle school science class n the teacher was trying to draw a sun but accidentally drew a hitler stache on him, n then he erased it n drew a squiggly smile n i thought it was the funniest thing ive ever seen for literal years.

What does the color blue taste like? sweet.

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? i forget where i was but i was alone in front of a store that had closed for the night n i was waiting to be picked up by my parents, it was dark, cold and was pouring. seeing the world so wet and glistening with the shimmers of light from the lamps transported to a place i can never return.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? im sure ive done something very stupid but i cant think of anything right now.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? i remember having a fren who told me that in his science class, they were playing jeopardy about planets n the question was "what is the hottest planet in the solar system" n one kid buzzed in immediately n said "the sun" full confidence. this was in middle school.

Hyperfixation song? tom's diner by suzanne vega.

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? its jus my name. gabu is usually either already taken or i cant have a name that short, so i usually jus do am_gabu.

Dream career as a child? something in computer science.

Dream career as an adult? tv show creator or filmmaker, preferably in animation (i dont do art).

Thoughts on cilantro? its okay.

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? my parents told me that i got expelled from a catholic school cuz i headbutted a teacher when i refused to go to nap time.

What is your cursed food combination? when i was like 4 or 5 i used to eat rice with ketchup n mustard.

Trans rights? trans rights! :D

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[chil1]

SPAGHETTI 🍝

Spaghetti is a long, thin, solid, cylindrical pasta. It is a staple food of traditional Italian cuisine. Like other pasta, spaghetti is made of milled wheat and water and sometimes enriched with vitamins and minerals. Italian spaghetti is typically made from durum wheat semolina.

Origin

Where does spaghetti come from? Although Greek mythology shows the god Vulcan using a device that made strings of dough, it's widely believed “spaghetto” (the singular for spaghetti in Italian) originated in 12th century Palermo, in sunny Sicily.

Cheesy Pinoy Spaghetti style

INGREDIENTS

1 KILOGRAM SPAGHETTI NOODLES

4 TABLESPOONS COOKING OIL

1 TEASPOON GARLIC, MINCED

1 PIECE MEDIUM ONION, CHOPPED

7 TABLESPOONS BUTTER

2 TABLESPOONS SALT

3/4 KILOGRAM GROUND BEEF

5 PIECES HOTDOGS, SLICED

560 GRAMS PINOY-STYLE SPAGHETTI SAUCE

2 PIECES BOULLION BEEF CUBES, DISSOLVED IN WATER

1 BOTTLE BANANA KETCHUP

Cooking procedure

Step 1 Cook pasta according to instructions on the packaging. Drain and set aside.

Step 2 In a saucepan, saute garlic and onion in butter until onions turn translucent.

Step 3 Add ground beef and cook for 5 minutes. Add hotdog and cook for 2 minutes. Add spaghetti sauce, bouillon cubes, banana ketchup, and water. Simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Step 4 Pour spaghetti sauce over pasta. Top with grated cheese and serve.

THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF PASTA

Pasta is the perfect foundation for a healthy, nutritious and satisfying meal. Why? For starters, pasta is the ideal partner for so many other foods, including fibre rich vegetables and beans, heart healthy fish, antioxidant rich tomato sauce and protein packed cheeses, poultry and lean meats. Pasta also offers:

SUSTAINED ENERGY:

Carbohydrates like pasta provide glucose, the crucial fuel for your brain and muscles. And because pasta is an awesome source of complex carbohydrates (unlike those of the refined and processed variety – yuk), releasing energy at a slow and sustained level, you don’t get the energy spikes associated with simple sugars.

LOW SODIUM AND CHOLESTEROL FREE:

If you’re watching your cholesterol levels, pasta is perfect for you, being very low in sodium and cholesterol free. Per cup, enriched varieties of pasta provide a good sources of several essential nutrients, including iron and B-vitamins.

FOLIC ACID:

Enriched pasta is fortified with folic-acid – essential for women of child-bearing age. A serving of dry pasta supplies the equivalent of roughly 100 micrograms of folic acid, or 25% of the recommended daily intake.

BALANCED DIET:

Pasta is part of a well-balanced diet, with current Australian Government guidelines suggesting 35% of our daily calories intake should come from complex carbohydrates such as pasta. Combine pasta with lean protein and vegetables for a complete meal that puts you well on the path to hitting those dietary goals!

Combine pasta with lean protein and vegetables for a complete meal that puts you well on the path to hitting those dietary goals!