#and poor edith is just very confused

[calliecat93]

An AU of The City On The Edge Forever where everything is the same, except at the end, Kirk isn't able to grab McCoy in time. Thus, he saves Edith, but he gets hit by the car instead. He survives, but he is seriously hurt and has to be taken to an early 20th century hospital... AKA, his worst nightmare

So you have McCoy dealing with the horrors of 1930's medical care and his own recovery, while trying to grapple with finding out about why Edith had to die. Kirk has to figure out how to now keep the bad future from happening, as well as dealing with immense guilt that McCoy got hurt because of him. Spock has to deal with both humans emotional problems, a task that he finds... well, more overwhelming than he'd like to admit.

[librosamarillos]

passed down like folk songs

chapter 5: happiness

Maegor Targaryen x OC

Also on Ao3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, angst, mature themes, targaryen incest, violence, Maegor is a red flag himself, characters are ooc probably, MINORS DNI

Parents trying to deal with their awkward teens, Visenya is so done with Maegor's dumb ass, feelings are confusing <3

An evergreen tree is a tree that remains green as long as it lives. No matter the sun, the snow, the wind or any conditions nature threw its way. House Evergreen reflected that very well. Being one of the oldest houses in Westeros, it was quite impressive how they’ve managed to flourish under every ruler they’ve had. Perhaps they were wise enough to stay on the low, to not grab too much attention and to focus on their craft. Wood was essential to anyone who wanted to build homes, castles, furniture, so it was most wise to keep in good relations with them. They were famed for woodcarving as well. 

Duncan and Lucas Evergreen made a great team. His older brother was the lord and heir to their house, he oversaw the production of their honey, and made the decisions on which trees to cut down so that it wouldn’t disturb the volume. It was a delicate art, to find the balance, to know when to stop taking. Duncan was in charge of the trade. He handled the business side of things, while traveling to offer the Queen his council. 

It was strange, when he thought about it. He wasn’t sure why she chose him to advise her. He was one of the lords trying to convince King Gardener to yield, and one trying to prevent bloodshed in Oldtown by trying to persuade Lord Hightower to accept the Targaryens as their rulers. He didn’t have much of a choice, did he? All it would take to ruin a thousand year old forest is just one tiny spark. He was no blind fool. Queen Visenya had learned of this and invited him to her council. 

Over the years they became almost friends it seemed, or at least she tolerated him most out of everyone, he wasn’t sure. Although bound by formality, she still offered him her sincere condolences when he lost his Edith. He wished he could tell her how sorry he was for how Aegon was treating her and their son, but it was not his place. She didn’t deserve this. And neither did poor Maegor. 

He remembered the young Prince since he was born. He had remarked that he was the biggest and angriest looking baby he’d ever seen, it was almost funny. It was as if he already knew what to be angry about. He was a solitary boy, not polite, rather harsh, it worried Duncan. There were no other children on Dragonstone for him to make a friend, and he glared at anyone who dared to look at him for too long. He remembered bringing it up with the Queen, urging her to perhaps take some boys his age as squires, so he has peers to grow up with. Visenya thanked him for his worry, with a very cryptic smile. 

She did not bring any squires, but she did invite his Rowan. It was incredible how quickly the two became friends, he was truly not expecting it and neither was Visenya. But they seemed to do good for each other, the young Prince now more patient and polite, his daughter getting over her shyness and becoming more confident. Duncan was glad Maegor had someone. 

He remembered how angry he felt, when the King was overlooking the training of both his sons, Maegor was only four. He was violently thrown down, his nose broken and bleeding, his father not batting an eye, not stopping to see if his little boy was alright, nor did he call for the maester. He just sighed and left. Like that. Duncan was seething on the boy’s behalf, before running to him, trying to stop the bleeding and taking him to the maester himself. Maegor always looked suspicious of him. Then again, he was suspicious of anyone that wasn’t his mother, Duncan guessed he was protecting himself, as he realised early on he had no one but Visenya to count on. 

His daughter seemed to flourish while traveling. He looked at her with such pride, as he questioned her on her lessons and she answered correctly every time. She was just like him as a child, so hungry and eager to learn. To educate her meant he could give her a comfortable life. As his only daughter, all his riches and home would pass to her, and she was more than capable of taking care of everything, he knew it. And even after he’d pass, she’d still have her cousins to look after one another. He was so happy to have a family this close. With him being a second son, there was no pressure for her to wed to advance their house, she did not need to worry. The man she’d take to husband could be one she’d chose for love, seeing as the money she had to her name was more than enough to sustain herself and a family for a few lifetimes. It gave him relief, knowing she could grow up without that pressure. 

As sweet as he found his daughter’s friendship with the Prince, they were now getting older. His Rowan was now a young woman, Maegor was now a young man. A young man that towered over everyone and seemed to frighten the realm with rumors of his cold nature. He was always kind and friendly to her, he could not complain, but now something changed. Duncan was no fool, he was a young man once. He started noticing how the two stared at each other, how they seemed to blush when they were standing close. What worried him most was that they were in King’s Landing now, not the secluded and in comparison empty Dragonstone. Rumours could spread, rumours that could ruin a young lady's life, while leaving a young man untouched. He wasn’t sure how to breach the topic without making his daughter uncomfortable. 

The final straw was when he noticed a green ribbon in the Prince’s pocket. Specifically the hair ribbon his daughter was convinced she’d misplaced somewhere and couldn’t find it. He knew. It couldn’t be the first time. He knew what he was using it for. He felt affection for Maegor, truly he did, and wished for him to succeed in his life, but he knew he’d never marry his daughter. They were an old and wealthy house, but not as powerful as the rest. A match with the prince was a lucrative prize for any house, and he knew he couldn’t let things continue, for his daughter’s sake. Besides, she was a young lady, it was most inappropriate for them to be alone together anymore. Maegor would never hurt her, that he knew, but it wouldn’t stop rumours. And rumours would only hurt Rowan, not him. It did boil his blood to think what must be going through Maegor’s mind. 

He found himself requesting a meeting with Visenya, not just as an advisor, but as something resembling a friend. 

“You seem nervous, Lord Evergreen. Has something happened?��� she asked formally. 

“No, your grace, but I do fear something might happen, and I wish for us to speak as two parents.” he brought the subject up softly. 

To that, Visenya seemed to drop the formalities. She seemed concerned, but also very aware of what Duncan was getting at, nodding at him to proceed. 

“Our children have been friends for almost ten years, and I think they bring out the best in each other, truly. But they’re no longer children.” he paused, “Surely, you’ve noticed.” he added carefully. 

Visenya sighed and nodded. 

“I did notice their infatuation has seemed to… grow. I do believe they’re still young, they’ll get past it. It’s normal at this age to find fleeting crushes.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant, your grace.” he breathed, wondering how in the seven hells he could tell her. 

“What is it? You know you can speak freely to me Duncan.” she assured him, but it didn’t help much. 

“I don’t mean to come off as crass, but it seems some hair ribbons of Rowan’s have gone missing, and I’ve caught sight of them in Prince Maegor’s pockets.” another breath. “I’m not accusing him of anything, I know he’d never disgrace her, but he’s almost a man grown. I think it’d be best if they get some distance. It’s time they stop being alone without a chaperone, do you not think so, your grace?” he managed to spit out. 

The Queen’s eyes widened, indicating she was not aware how far her son’s infatuation had gone. She thought for a second, before meeting his eyes again. 

“Thank you for telling me. I’ll speak to him, worry not. At least in King’s Landing they’ll only meet in common areas. I understand you worry for her, I do love her dearly, I hope you know this. Nothing will happen to her. I promise.” she reassured him. 

“Thank you, your grace. I do not wish for their friendship to end, but you know how much people whisper. It could hurt Rowan’s future greatly.” 

“I understand. I’ll talk some sense into him.”

The conversation was a sigh of relief. There was only one person Maegor would listen to, and that was Visenya, and he was beyond happy to see that she was on the same page. 

But now, he did have to have a talk with Rowan, although he dreaded it. She was a young woman now, yes, but in his eyes she was still a little child. Perhaps it’s true of all parents. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, worried. 

“Why would you assume something was wrong, my sweet?” he laughed. 

“You have a look about you that screams something’s wrong.” Rowan stated, still worried for her father. 

“Nothing is wrong, I just think it’s important we talk about something.” he started. “About Maegor.”

“What about Maegor?”

“I know how close you two are, and I’m happy you’re friends, but you’re no longer children. It’s no longer appropriate for you two to be alone, not without a chaperone.” he said, rubbing her shoulder.

“We did nothing wrong father, in truth!” Rowan panicked. 

“I don’t doubt that for a second, dearest, I don’t, but we’re not in Dragonstone. The gossip in the capital could ruin a person’s life. To hear that a young lady was alone in her room with the prince, it could be damning. I know you’re just friends and like to spend time together, I’m not asking you to stop that. I am asking you to keep it in public areas and to not be alone. In the gardens, or around the city, anywhere where nobody can imagine anything indecent.” he sighed. “You did nothing wrong, my love, I promise. It’s just how things are.” 

Rowan furrowed her eyebrows, seemingly upset, before letting out a sigh. 

“You’re right. I’d hate for either of us to be followed by gossip.” she concluded sadly. 

“You’re still friends, my love, that doesn’t change.” he said, hugging her, to reassure her. 

“You wished to see me, mother?” Maegor’s voice echoed in the room. 

“I did. Come, sit.” she patted the empty spot on the couch next to her. 

She studied her son. He was wearing his armour, looking every bit the knight that he was. Where had time gone? It was just yesterday that she first held him in her arms as a babe, and now he towered over everyone in Westeros. 

“I think you know why I want to speak with you.” she made sure her tone was stern. 

“I do not. Have I done something to displease you?” he asked. 

“You have.” she stated. “I’ve told you before, you and Rowan are no longer children. It is therefore inappropriate for you two to be alone. Do you know what such gossip would bring?” 

“We’ve done nothing inappropriate, mother, to hell with their gossip. They can answer to the dragons.” he spat out. 

“The gossip will do nothing to us, but it will ruin Rowan, do you not understand? Such rumours could ruin any potential matches she could have in the future, you cannot think only of yourself Maegor!” she said, irritated. 

Maegor opened his mouth, as if looking for courage, before finally speaking up. 

“So wed her to me. Wed Rowan to me, and there’ll be no worry for rumours or gossip.” his breathing seemed to quicken.

Visenya was stunned for a moment. 

“You wish to wed her to avoid rumours? You cannot make such demands on a whim.” she furrowed her brows. 

“No! It’s not like that. I’ve wished to ask this of you for a long time. Do you not approve of her?” his eyes betrayed worry, making Visenya sigh. 

“I adore the girl, you know this. However, you are a prince. Your marriage is a political tool for our house to solidify our claim to the throne. Your claim Maegor. It’s not something you can decide on your own.” she explained calmly. 

“But the Evergreens are rich.”

“But not as powerful or influential as the great houses. Look, I’m sorry. I understand you’re upset about this, but that’s just how things are. Do you think Aenys had a say when he was wed to Alyssa? Do you think your father or I had a say when we were wed?” 

Maegor looked to the floor in defeat. Visenya grabbed his hand with both of hers. 

“I don’t want you to get your hopes up, but when you come of age, IF you still feel this way, I’ll speak to your father, to see what can be done. But this guarantees nothing. Do you understand?” she asked, smiling when her son’s face lit up. 

“Yes, thank you mother!” he said, embracing her like a little boy. 

“And Maegor?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever steal anything from her again.” 

She felt him freeze, pulling away to see the colour drain from his face. 

“It’s not polite, now is it?” she sighed. 

He quickly shook his head, looking incredibly embarrassed to have been caught. Visenya lightly laughed.

“Now, swear to me you’ll be the perfect gentleman.” 

“I swear it, mother.” he said, his face now completely red. 

It didn’t matter how big and tall he got, it was still entertaining to see him react the same way he did since he was small. 

“Very well. Now, off you go. I’m sure you have things to do.” 

Rowan sighed, trying to wash the ink off her hands. The more she wrote, the more ink stained her hands had become. It was high time she got used to it, she reckoned. She returned to the libraries shortly, wishing to hide away in the books than to face how she truly felt. There was only Grandmaester Gawen on the other end of the room, rummaging through some scrolls. 

She sat down, opening the large history book, as well as her notebook to keep notes, and just stared at the page. She couldn’t focus. All she could think about was Maegor, and how things had changed. She didn’t know when things had changed exactly, but they did. Perhaps it was all part of getting older. Change is inevitable after all. 

Things between them became more serious. Deeper, she could say. What she felt for him now was deeper than before. She didn’t dare say it out loud, because if she said it out loud, it meant she acknowledged it, which meant it was real. She thought of the Queen’s words, that at their age it’s normal to have crushes. But she also thought of her parents, who fell in love when they were her age, and then got married. Both could be true, but then what was this? How she wished her mother was there, in moments like these. Her father loved her, but didn’t understand her the way her mother did. It was all so frustrating.

How many emotions could a person feel at once, she wondered? Because she felt so many things at that moment. Embarrassment at how her father noticed the change as well, worry at wondering who else had noticed, nervousness at what Maegor would think of all of this, and a bit of excitement to find out. She didn’t know why. Part of her wished they were in Dragonstone, where no one would whisper, but that’s not the case now. 

“I thought I’d find you here.” his familiar voice startled her, speaking in high Valyrian so as to not be overheard by the Grandmaester. 

“You scared me!” she replied. 

“Sorry.” he smiled, sitting down across from her, opening a random book up, as if to study. “Has your father spoken to you?” he said, looking at the pages in front of him. 

“He did. And you? The Queen?” 

“Yes, she was quite annoyed with me. I shouldn’t have come to your rooms yesterday, it was inappropriate. I’m sorry to have put you in such a position.” he said, looking down at her with apologetic eyes. 

“It’s not like we’re strangers. But I should’ve known better as well. I wasn’t thinking clearly, it seems.” she answered. 

“I don’t want to be far from you. I don’t want us to become strangers because of this. Perhaps like this? And you’ll get to practice more of your high Valyrian.” he suggested. 

“If you don’t make fun of my accent, you have a deal, my Prince.” she smiled. 

All the worry and embarrassment faded away when she looked in his eyes. She felt so safe, so at ease, it didn’t matter if the room was full of people, it felt like it was only them. Perhaps she was delaying the inevitable by not admitting it to herself. But did she have the courage to admit it? To admit she was falling in love? Was this not a sure way to get hurt? What did it matter that she was in love when it came to duty? Surely Maegor would marry a beautiful woman of a great house and he’d have a lovely family, and she’d be left heartbroken. 

She never wanted for anything more when it came to wealth and power. Her family had just the right amount where she didn’t have to worry about anything, but also not too much to the point of being targeted. It was a great privilege, one she didn’t treat lightly. But in that moment, she wished she came from a great house of great importance, to have the chance to be with him forever. It was a silly fantasy. One that would end up hurting her. She could feel it. 

“Are you already tired of my company?” he laughed, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

“Hm?” 

“You’re spacing out again. Are you worried?” he asked. 

“…I am.”

“About what?”

“About many things. Things out of our control.”

Maegor looked around the library, satisfied to see that the old man had his back turned to them, before he grabbed her hand on the desk. 

“You’ll find I can take control of things quite well, especially when it concerns something really important to me.” he whispered, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll find a way. I will.”

“What… What are you insinuating?”

“I’m saying that you’re my closest and dearest friend, I won’t let any gossip or rumours harm you. Not when the only crime you’ve committed is being my friend. It’s not fair.” he said after some hesitation. 

It wasn’t fair at all. His eyes saying one thing, but his lips another. She didn’t like feeling this confused, but it seemed neither of them felt ready to be completely truthful just yet. She rubbed the back of his hand, giving him a small smile. As long as they got to spend time like this, she could wait. 

“It’s truly exhausting, the capital. I’m glad we’re back here.” Visenya sighed in relief as Rowan helped her let her intricate braids down. 

“I thought you enjoyed it, your grace.”

“I enjoyed it, yes, but it’s still an exhausting place to be. So much noise.”

“The king seemed pleased to see you.” Rowan smiled.  

Visenya let out a small laugh. For someone so pragmatic, Rowan was still an optimistic young girl. 

“It’s just appearances, my dear.” 

“But do you not wish it to be true? Do you not want him to try and fix things?”

“Some things cannot be fixed Rowan. It’s not a small mistake he made once, it’s choices he’s made for most of my years that cannot be brought back. He can’t undo the damage.” she smiled at the girl. 

“So why? Why is he suddenly so nice?” she said after much thought. 

“I don’t know, but I don’t trust it. ”

“Do you think he plans to do something?” she asked while brushing her hair carefully. 

“That, I intend to find out.”

“I wish he was genuine. I want you to be happy.” 

Visenya studied Rowan’s somber expression in the mirror, before turning around to grasp her hands. 

“Do not worry about me.”

“How can you ask me that? How can I not?” she asked softly. 

Visenya felt a bit of guilt. Would it be selfish to betrothe her to Maegor, just to call Rowan her daughter in truth? He did have feelings for her, and Rowan seemed to return them, albeit shyly. Would it truly be so bad of a match? She could convince Aegon. It was her son’s life, she alone raised him, she could make that decision. 

“Rowan, can I ask you something?”

“Always, your grace.”

“What do you desire most for your future?”

“My future?” Rowan paused. “I wish to be happy.” she replied after some thought. 

“And what would make you happy?” Visenya inquired. 

“It’s not just one thing, I think I could find happiness in a lot of different situations, not a unique one. It’s not realistic to be happy all the time, I know, but I wish to have a life that allows me moments of happiness often.” she replied. 

“And is there a person in particular that would make you very happy?” Visenya smiled as the young girl blushed and looked down. 

“A few. I'm happy when I spend time with you.” 

“Yes, but I do suspect there’s someone else as well.” Visenya laughed. “Someone taller?” 

“I do not know what you’re talking about, your grace.” she blushed and looked down. 

“You’re a terrible liar. Your eyes always betray you.” she smiled. “We’re on Dragonstone now, no need to fret.” she patted her hair gently, teasing her a bit. 

At least Rowan’s side was still innocent. She’d make a lovely bride one day. And if Visenya played her cards right, it would be Maegor she’d be walking down the aisle to. 

taglist:@heartstalked@stupidocupido@discowizard88

[ladyarrowhead]

Rena (Re)-Watches Downton Abbey: Ep 2

I am tempted to just put an "oh shit, here we go again" on every one of these posts which, by now, is two. I won't though. We'll see if it is time for Mr. Pamuk or if his short presence was so charming that he made such an impression that I keep stretching his very short screentime.

The Episode

Matthew and his Mom are fully introduced and we're reaching Crawley House which I loved so much. The house is so beautiful. We're also establishing Matthew and Mary as a ship immediately - Matthew is downright starstruck when he sees her. The rivalry between Mrs. Crawley and Lady Grantham is immediately established - unlike Mary and Edith it will, I think, not be tedious but just fun. While the first episode already was all ??? re:Bates position as a somewhat inbetween Upstairs and Downstairs, this episode repeats so with Matthew.

This time, Matthew sees himself closer to those Downstairs than Upstairs. There is a really interesting discussion between him and his butler (?) Molesly which I completely forgot about in which Matthew calls his job a "silly occupation for a grown man", thus mirroring the same attitudes his upper-class relatives have towards his profession! I forgot so much and when this happenned I gasped!!! (I gasp a lot XD)

The secondary plot concerns past and present of some of the downstairs characters. O'Brien's relationship to Cora is turning a little rocky as Her Ladyship steps into the kitchen and chastises her and the others for shittalking Matthew - but I think Thomas and O'Brien are right, what the fuck is it with this violation of privacy (I know it's 1912, but as I said, the review is for me).

Carson's background is explained as well! He is revelead as part of the Cheerful Charlies, blackmailed by his former colleague. It is implied that Carson letting himself be blackmailed is "funny" (at least it feels like it?), but man, I love him so much. His loyalty to Mary is still lovely, I think you really notice how much he has been involved in the family's life. Carson is SO PROUD of his job, don't make a joke out of it.

There really was no Mr. Pamuk.

The Characters

When I started this episode, my brain went "oh it is time for Mr. Pamuk". Then I saw Mr. Molesley and I felt a gutteral reaction of glee, delight and horror. That poor man will go through so much trouble.

I did not realize during my first watch that Daisy partially works to help the audience by asking the necessary questions but I am proud of myself for noticing this time!

Mary and Matthew have incredible chemistry. Their banter is witty and you realize that they are both sharp-minded. It's lovely set-up-wise.

The rivalry between Lady Grantham and Mrs. Crawley is interestingly pictured with this being two very strong women used to being in charge. After the Countess having the upperhand for a while, she witnesses the medical procedure Mrs. Crawley asked for - and goodness was I happy that the Countess did not faint while watching. It put them still on equal ground! THIS IS SO GOOD!

Mary vs Edith Score of Awfulness

Pettiness points here we go - Edith loudly announcing to her mother that Mary dislikes Matthew and stealing love letters (?) written to her only to reveal Evelyn Napier being a suitor to Mary. My confusion rests at Mary being pretty chill at it? They are lowkey joking even? You're on thin ice, Edith.

Score remains 2:1 for Edith.

Other

It is a truth universally acknowledged that I will not skip this intro and that the dog is the best thing in it.

While Hugh Bonneville will always be Lord Grantham to me, Dan Stevens is sadly the Beast now.

I forgot how funny this show was!

I love myself a violin-heavy soundtrack! Everyone knows I love Arcanum of Steamworks and Obscurra but gosh, the violins help myself so much!

One of my favourite details is the depiction of gossip. We know once someone of the staff is visible (most of all Thomas), the information will reach the rest of the staff.

I feel a little confused at how I will feel about "we all have our parts to play" which is used to explain to Matthew that providing for the staff is not necessarily a bad thing for the Granthams. It feels like "some people are made to be servants", but it is more meant like "do not disrespect those who choose this profession". The wording is...eeeh, but I suppose it being so faulty is actually a good sign.

Quotes of the Episode

"What old lady do you refer to, Thomas? You cannot mean the Dowager Countess - not if you wish to remain in this house!" "Really, Carson, there is no need to be so melodramatic."

[wooglebear]

So, how is tetocu23 handling this little boy?

Yes, that's right. since the legacy movie characters are going to be in this theoretical reboot, Tommy (AKA the locker kid from the film) is here. He's going to be slightly much happier here.

Emphasis on slightly.

- let's say Tommy is smart, determined and ruthless. He's rude to people she doesn’t trust. He's brash and stubborn. And he has a bit of claustrophobia.

- He has a passion for drawing and helping those around him, sometimes even worrying more about helping others than helping himself

- He sometimes has acts responsible, but not in a bossy way.

- To Krupp tho, he's seen as kind of a weirdo, for you see, he spends almost every time of the day drawing in his sketchbook

- He practices everyday to become a better artist, and he's been bullied because of it.

- Tommy doesn’t mind these comments, although they have made him less willing to share his drawings with others that aren’t named George and Harold or Dante (yes, he and Dante are friends in this one)

His design is showing the contrast between what he likes/his personal taste vs his mother's expectations/what he knows is the best choice.

What is this mother like? Well…

This is Miss Bluebell Clark. She's a single mother (yes, her wife is nowhere in the picture) and Jerome Horwitz Elementary's new drama teacher.

- basically the adult version of a theatre kid.

- has the middle name "Belinda".

- Really darn smart and conniving. Befitting her job as drama teacher, she's a very good actress. She has a knack for lying, twisting words and exploiting weaknesses. If you're Tommy, it’s very hard to know when she’s being genuine.

- When she first shows up, and around Alice, Bluebell acts all calm and collected, sweet, and innocent. Of course, that’s just a facade. Underneath that, there is a downright manipulative, cruel, calculating and self absorbed young lady who's willing to use and trample on anyone, even her own son. And remember when I said she acts innocent as her facade? No, on the inside, she is not. She's the reason why Tommy has a bit of claustrophobia (she hides him in lockers). Tommy even tries going to tetocu23!“Grace Wain” to try to get his mother fired. But Grace tells him that the only reason that she hasn't booted her out of there yet is because she has a feeling she's planning something, and also Bluebell's an 'asset' to the school.

- As vain as the peacock and refuses to get dirty.

- Near constantly tells Tommy 'dress exactly as I tell you'. As a result, Tommy suffers for it, as his mother sets the theme for his outfit each day, and he would rather wear something a little more plausible for a ten year old boy than the clothes of a theatre kid. Something local theatre kid Dante notices.

- Uses emotional abuse on Tommy. But when she's mad at Tommy, it can get a little hairy.

- Her personality can change from nasty to sweet on a dime. If she wrote one poem as a nice person and one poem as a bad person, you would not think the same person wrote both poems. That's how two sided she is.

- The only thing that she makes known of her real self is her treatment of Tommy. As a result, everyone feels bad for Tommy and hates Bluebell.

- She thinks most teachers (and Edith) as her subjects, blissfully unaware of what everyone thinks of her. Mr. Ree, however, makes her blood boil, to the point she has a sign on the staff room saying "Janitors do not count as teachers. They are not allowed."

- I think Bluebell would make everyone hate Tommy. This hatred of him would eventually bubble over and Tommy gets monster-fied. as a result, the boys and captain have to fight him as a monster of the week. Eventually, Tommy gets turned back to normal, and now everyone loves the boy :)

- Bluebell sees it differently. When Cash shows up, she INSTANTLY hates him and works in secret with Krupp, despite our principal not treating Cash as horribly as canon, to turn almost everyone against the man. Poor Cash is just confused as to why everyone but Javi and Alice hates him.

Alice: I love playing the Sims. It's basic. You build a house, make people who live in it, done.

Cash: I'm quite fond of The Sims 4: Get Famous.

Javi: I love making my sims get jobs.

Bluebell: I did things like removing all the doors to a room and making my neighbor pee themself or watching people drown in ladderless pools!

Javi: ...

Cash: You disgusting psychopath

Alice: (sarcastic) Bluebell, what would we do without you?

- When Cash and Javi confront Bluebell, Javi's like "So it was all you! You made everyone hate my boyfriend!" and Cash's like "How will you kill us? Will it be the classic beheading ooooor burn us at the stake like witches? Please, do get creative, I wouldn't want my death to be something generic." Bluebell's like "Nah, I won't kill either of you."

- Desperately wants to get rid of Cash and goes to great lengths to try and set up the parameters for his downfall, but it goes sideways in some way.

Bluebell: Do you want to be friends with me?

cash networth: of course! The more friends the merrier, so you join us!

Bluebell: I'm sure I won't backstab you in the end... (shows she had her fingers crossed) Or will I?

-Despite being a lesbian, Bluebell used to be dating Lavatore Ree. Then thanks to Lavatore playing it fast and loose, they drifted apart.

-When she reconciles with her ex-lover, Bluebell is very open about their relationship, while Lavatore keeps it a secret.

- Used to be Cara's right-hand-woman, until she quit.

- Has a rivalry with Alice. There was no reason for giving her this rivalry if I recall. But I think it's really funny that, while the blonde art teacher becomes the most popular teacher at a school of fun hating adults (thanks to treating her pupils nicely), the brunette drama teacher has a son who she treats horribly and makes herself public enemy number one.

(tetocu23 au: @infini-tree / @cartchytuns)

[leajdh]

and it’s you that i’ve been waiting to find

Chapter One: lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

NANAMI KENTO X READER

Upon receiving a package with a cursed and deformed human, you make it your mission to exorcise whoever did this. Usually you don't dare to interact with the world of curses, afraid you will suffer from the same fate as your mother. However seeing what the curse did to the poor souls, you couldn't hold yourself back. You end up meeting a sorcerer with the same mission as you, soon getting dragged into the story-line of jujutsu kaisen.

You jump down the sewer and instantly feel your feet sink into the smelly mud. You’re definitely not dressed properly for this and to be honest you don’t really know how you ended up here so fast and if it is even the right way to get to your target, but as always your gut feeling told you to get down the ladder. You learned to trust your gut more than your mind which may seem impulsive, even dangerous but you know better. 

Let go and trust the universe.

I do, but sometimes the universe really tests me, you think while holding your long white dress up as you stomp through the ooze on the ground. The lights down here are very dim and you try your best not to fall over your own feet as you walk past things that you really don’t want to know what they are. 

Yet you’re not sure if it was a good or bad idea to rush out your hotel room without shoes on. For the sake of your shoes yes, but now you are a bit afraid of slashing your heel and getting an infection. 

Stop over-thinking and focus.  

Now that you are stumbling down the dull tunnel you climbed into, you recall how you ended up here anyways.

It was precisely a week ago, when you got a package delivered to the apartment you were staying in for less than 3 days. First you were confused because you didn’t order anything, but in the end you didn’t care. Your name was on it and it was to light to be a bomb or something, so you just opened it and laid your curious eyes on the content. 

Something that smelled like rotten flesh was crawling inside. It looked up to you and murmured: “Help me.”

Soon after it seemed like it took its last breath and died, not moving a centimeter.

“What you got there?”, Einar asked as he was walking up to you. You didn’t answer him and just kept staring at this creature. Once he looked over your shoulder and saw it too, his energy shifted. While holding his hand toward the package, he shouted: “Where did you find this?”

Focusing now on Einar, you touched his arm before he could shoot a ball made out of smoke and energy onto it. 

“It got delivered.”

“Who delivered it?”

“I don’t know, a guy, I think, long dark hair, but he didn’t say anything and he wore a post office uniform so I didn’t think too much of it.”

“Yeah of course you didn’t think, as always. For fucks sake, you don’t just open a random package, have you learned nothing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I won’t be the one to plan your funeral if you continue acting so careless.”

You didn’t want to pick a fight, when something more urgent was right in front of you, but you also couldn’t resist shooting something back at him: “You won’t even be on the guestlist.”

He sighed heavily.

“Anyway what the hell is this? I have never seen such a thing before.”

“Same”, he cooly remarked and took a closer look.

“You can calm down, it’s dead”, you said, feeling his energy rising up again. 

He stared at it for a few more seconds, still keeping his energy level up. And you did the same, staring back at it. It looked like a big dried worm. However once you looked closer you could see its eyes. Small human eyes. You were taking a few steps back, trying not to panic. 

“I have no idea what this is, nor do I care to know. I just know that we have to leave, now.”

“It was a human”, you said, staring at Einars back. He took his phone out of his pocket and opened the messenger.

“I will tell Edith to come back. You go get your stuff.” 

He was on high alert. The whole room was filling up with his cursed energy, so much that it felt like it was dripping from the ceiling. Not listening to his command, you stretched your hand out to grab it. Before your hand was even near it, Einar stopped you.

“You really have a deathwish today, don’t ya!”

“I can figure out what all of this is about, just let me do it.”

He still had your hand in a deadly grip. 

“No fuckin’ way, dear”, and with that he let go of your hand and smashed his fist on the table, gushing cursed energy everywhere and burning the package to ashes. You pushed Einar, angry at his actions.

“You just burned our only hint!”

Waving you off, he turned around to leave the room, but not before looking over his shoulders.

“This isn’t something of your concern, so please just grab your stuff and let us get out of here.”

It was normal for you to run away. Usually when the world of curses knocks on our door, we not only do not open it, we burn the complete place down and leave no evidence of our existence. But this was different, you could see it in Einars face as he saw the content of the package. 

“This”, pointing at the remainings: “it’s not normal for curses to do, right?”

One thing you love about Einar is that he is blunt, sometimes so blunt he hurts your feelings, but you at least know that he isn’t sugar-coating things and tells you exactly how it is.

“Fuck no”, he sighed, searching for his lighter in his pockets.

“This shit is insane, and I have seen it all. Now pack your stuff, we will leave as soon as Edith arrives. I won’t say it again.”

You obeyed and packed your stuff, acting like you were willing to forget about what happened. You couldn’t. It was a message for you. Typically when an incident with curses happens, we don’t intervene. Einar is insanely strong, but truthfully just doesn’t care and minds his own business, always saying there are people, whose job it is to exorcise them. And for you, you learned at a young age that your power wasn’t to kill and you never saw a reason to do so. Curses are part of the world, just like all living beings. They have their reason to be here and if they decide to kill somebody, it isn’t your duty to avenge. Everything happens for a reason, how could you not believe in this statement with a curse inside of you who holds the knowledge of the past, the present and the future.

You were always a watcher, not acting on your own, let fate do what it needs to do. 

So why did it feel different this time? Was it because your name was written on the package? Yes, but also no. As much as Einar told you, which isn’t a lot, there are people searching for you. The same people who forced your mother to bind a curse to you, and the same people who want Einars head for treason. If they figure out where you are, you aren’t sure if Einar will be able to save you a second time. 

No, the package was from someone else, someone who wants you to find them, for a reason you can’t seem to figure out. If it was from the people who want to find you, they would just attack you, not sending a message like this.

As Einar said, this behavior isn’t normal for a curse, sending a package. So either way it was sent by a curse user or an abnormal curse. 

Whatever it is, it is a trap and you’re willing to fall into it. It felt like the biggest sign from the universe to finally act, not just watch. The only problem was Einar, he wouldn’t allow you to investigate. So you had to be smart about it. Once you packed all your stuff, you said: “How about we go to Tokyo, I saw that a few companies requested me.”

“Tokyo is full of curses. Not a bad idea. Sometimes the best disguise is to be in the spotlight”, Einar said and you smirked, knowing he didn’t see the postmark on the package, telling you it was delivered from Tokyo. Your only clue so far, but you knew you had the universe on your side to guide you to your destination.

Once you arrived in Tokyo, Einar instantly arranged meetings for you, luckily not straightaway. He gave you a few days to get accustomed to the time-change and you gladly took them, more so to do your research. So on your second day in Tokyo, you left the hotel to explore the city. Einar however forced you to wear a black coat which was able to hide your face well. You understood why he did it, but the heat and humidity in Tokyo did make you a sweaty mess.

Praying to the universe to guide you, you ended up walking for hours through the city, eating sweets and noodles, and looking at a few clothing items. Just as you were about to return to the hotel, you saw some police lights and commotion in front of a building, which seemed like a cinema.

Once you were standing in front of the police cordon, you were feeling the same energy as you did as you opened the package. 

Bingo! You blew a kiss into the sky, planning your next move. 

How to get inside the building with all the police officers surrounding it? 

First you thought, you could offer your service. Being a world-wide known fortune-teller has its pros even though you never helped with solving cases before. Something they didn’t need to know. 

However you discarded that idea quickly. When there were the same things as the one in your package, the police wouldn’t allow anyone to see. 

Just as you were looking for a way to sneak inside, you overheard a conversation between two police officers: “... requested some specialists from jujutsu tech to come and investigate. Tell the others to let them pass once they arrive.”

Perfect, the universe was on your side again.

You slipped through some bystanders and ducked under the cordon-tape. 

“Miss, you can’t enter….”, you quickly cut him off, acting confident in what you were doing while nearly pissing your pants thinking they would catch you red-handed. 

“My Name is Ito, Jujutsu Tech sends me”, you said in broken japanese. Edith taught you Japanese, apparently it was a tradition on your fathers side of the family to speak japanese. Since Edith is mute, she only taught you words and sentences, not how to correctly pronounce them. 

Before the officer could say anything, one of the guys you had eavesdropped earlier grabbed the other's shoulder and said: “Don’t worry, it’s alright. Leave her to me.”

You gulped, hoping your lie didn’t bust. Getting the urge to quickly sprint off, the officer offered you his hand and said: “Good evening, my Name is Kobayashi. I run the investigation. You were quick on the scene, just a few minutes ago I requested help from jujutsu tech.”

“I was nearby when I got the call to be here”, you just smiled and took his hand. 

“You’re from overseas, aren’t you?”, you just nodded your head and kept smiling, fishing for lies in your brain while both of you walked towards the building. 

“So is Ito also a common surname in your homeland?”, he asked, now standing, not entering the door right in front of you. 

“Oh no, it certainly is not!”, you laughed, acting all innocent. 

“I recently got married, hence why I’m here now. My husband is japanese and works for Jujutsu Tech too!”, you wanted to keep talking about how you met your imaginary husband and if you were planning to have imaginary children with him, but you cut yourself of. You needed to get in there and out as fast as possible. You couldn’t risk being here longer. Soon the real investigators from jujutsu tech would arrive. 

“Congrats”, he claimed and finally opened the door. 

“I have worked on a lot of cases with jujutsu tech, so I know about your powers. Nothing new to me!”, he laughed and continued walking through the cinema.

“I will give you a brief rundown. We were called because an employee found three deformed corpses in movie hall 3 right after the movie was over. Only four people entered the hall and only one came out alive. He left without a trace. Here is a picture from the security camera outside the hall. Sadly there are no cameras inside the movie halls.”

Instinctively you bowed your head after hearing about the security camera and took the picture Kobayashi held. You looked at the badly pixelated picture and saw a boy, maybe fourteen or slightly older. 

“You know the name?”, you said pointing at the boy while walking up the stairs to movie hall 3. 

“No, but we are working on it.”

Before you entered Hall 3, Kobayashi grabbed your wrist and murmured: “Just a heads up. I have never seen something so terrifying. Nothing for weak stomachs.”

“Thank you for caring, but I can handle it.”

You walked past him into the movie hall as a rotten smell filled up your nose, much worse and stronger than the one from the package. Instinctively you gripped the wall, digging your nails inside the mushy textured wallpaper. Focus, you told yourself, thinking whoever these people from jujutsu tech were, they wouldn’t act the way you did. You straighted yourself and darted to the corpses. Once there you wanted to take a deep breath but refused yourself to do so. 

When you thought the thing inside your package was disgusting, you had just met a new level.

Three human-sized corpses but they certainly didn’t look like humans. Their heads were deformed, making it nearly unmanageable to see something human in them. Their skins were blue and green with a hint of yellow, like water corpses. Eyes filled with so much pain and agony, it nearly made you cry. You took a deep breath to bring you back to reality, regaining focus on Kobayashi, who stood beside you.

“Do you know their names?”, you asked and Kobayashi nodded, saying: “Yes, we found their scholar IDs on them. To be quite frank with you, we first didn’t think they were humans, just a hideous prank. Oh, do I wish it was.”

You looked at Kobayashi, seeing the pain in his eyes as well, especially after hearing that these bodies belonged to kids. Straightening yourself, you looked around, seeing different police officers taking pictures and samples. 

“Am I allowed to touch them?”, you asked Kobayashi carefully. You were never at a crime scene before and certainly you didn’t know what you, in your role as a specialist from jujutsu tech, were allowed to do.

“We already have all the information we need. The rest is up to you. Do whatever you need to do. Just make sure you find the monster”, he said with a righteous expression on his face. You have already tested your luck enough, but either way you asked: “Since I rushed here, I forgot my utensils. Can you bring me something sharp and three small, closeable containers?”

“Ask Futaba over there, he has everything you…”, with that you rushed over to the guy Kobayashi pointed at and he gave you what you asked for. You also grabbed three large cotton wipes before walking back to the corpses. The time was running out. At any moment the real specialists could come and blow your cover. 

Nevertheless you still had morals, so you bind each one a cotton wipe around their eyes, while silently praying that their souls find solace, accepting the horror that happened to them and whenever they were ready to find their way back to earth in a new body. 

You had to cover their eyes, not only for them, but more so for you. Something was way off. The cursed technique which was used, didn’t just transform their body. 

It did something to their soul.

Something not even death would be able to fix.

Realizing this, you gripped onto one of the seats. Anger you never felt before washing over you. When you find whoever did this, they will pay. 

Changing your prayer to hoping that their souls would even be able to connect with a body ever again, you bind the eyes of the last one. Kobayashi didn’t say anything to you, he let you do whatever you needed to do to feel better. 

You tried to conceal your anger but it was clear as a cloudless summer day. It was raging inside of you. Not being able to see their horrific stare, your tension crumbled, allowing you to refocus on why you were actually here. To find clues and your best one would be to get samples of their blood. Without a second thought, you dragged the scalpel Futaba gave you, across the palms of each individual, gathering the thick, oozy blood into the containers. 

“Do you need their blood for your cursed technique?”, Kobayashi asked after you were finished. You shook your head, ready for your next lie: “No, it’s for research.”

“That’s good”, he smirked: “Not gonna lie but some of you sorcerers have odd powers, I wouldn’t exclude you from doing weird stuff with that.”

You laughed and smacked him friendly on the shoulder, knowing fully well that as soon as you were in your hotel room you would consume the blood. 

“Don’t be ridiculous!”, you exclaimed as the laughter slowly died down. Kobayashi was a weird one, you thought. Being stoic and then completely changing his demeanor and talking casually as if there weren’t three deformed corpses in the room. 

“I should leave, the fresher the samples, the better they are”, you tried to use his currently good mood to sneak out as fast as possible. 

“My colleagues will take care of the rest!”, you attached quickly and smiled brightly at him. He opened his crossed arms and pointed at the exit. 

“I will escort you out.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to! I already took too much of your time”, you quickly remarked, but Kobayashi just shook his head and signaled you to follow him outside the movie hall. You gulped again. 

Did he read through your lies? How?

You followed suit, dragging your sweaty hands over your jeans to calm down. He’s just nice, you thought. Just nice.

You walked behind him, looking around to find an escape route. One which didn’t involve running into people. Step by step you stomped towards the front door, nearly being outside on the open street. If he confronted you, he would have done it by now. 

He opened the door for you, gesturing you to get out. 

You did so, stepping on the concrete and feeling the sun radiate through your thick coat. Your heartbeat decreased and you felt like everything went well. 

Until one officer ran towards Kobayashi telling him the sorcerers had arrived. 

“Oh, they are here early. I have to go, but please tell them I said hello!”

You were a great liar, always giving a quick reaction and having an unreadable face. You bowed, said your good-byes and particularly sprinted down the stairs to the cordon-tape. Just as you wanted to slip under the tape, a man on the other side of it, held the tape up. Not for you, he wanted to duck under before you bumped into him. He quickly grabbed your shoulder to steady you from falling. Just as you wanted to apologize, you looked up, staring speechless at the stranger's face. 

He wore non-wired extremely dark sunglasses, not allowing you at all to see through them. His nose was slim with a high bridge. It was in perfect balance with the rest of his face. A long, sharp chin with hollow, boney cheeks framed by his laid-back blonde hair. He was beautiful, but the real reason why you stood there, not moving an inch, was because he was oozing cursed energy. 

The specialist. The sorcerer.

You were fucked. 

He still held onto you. If you felt his energy, he could feel yours too. You heard Kobayashi approaching you from behind, screaming your fake name. 

“Tell him, I’m sorry”, you said to the stranger, ripping his hand off your shoulder and storming off. 

You knew you couldn’t turn around to glance back. 

Just run. 

Thankfully the cinema was right in the city center, so a lot of people were around. Skipping through the people, you heard commotion behind you. At a good moment you got rid of your coat, ran your fingers through your hair and tried to morphe into the crowd. You wanted to keep running, but that would drag attention towards you. So completely out of breath, you slowed down, acting like you didn’t just run away from the police. Using your own technique on yourself, you were lowering your cursed energy so it was untraceable. This made you feel awful, never before did you erase your cursed energy that fast. You needed to sit. Now.

Eyeing a café you saw a group of young girls. 

Jackpot!

You couldn’t believe how lucky you were. 

Without further ado, you rudely took a seat on their table, trying to keep calm and not looking like a complete sweaty mess. You grabbed the tarot cards on their table and started mixing them. Before you could even explain what you were doing, one of the girls screamed: “Oh my god! It's…."

“Pscht! I’m here on vacation! I don’t want other people to notice me, but I saw the tarot set and I couldn’t resist. Want me to tell you your future? For free of course!”

All of them nodded totally excited while you tried to regain your posture. The black dots in front of your eyes slowly started to fade and the ringing in your ears wore off. Focusing on the cards in your hands, you peered up, watching the scenery. 

Police officers were running past your table and in the crowd you saw the stranger in his creamy-colored suit, definitely trying his best to sense you. Next to him was a boy, he also oozed cursed energy. You have never felt this amount of cursed energy before. 

Who is that child? You wanted to get a better look at him, but you were afraid of getting caught. 

So you did what you could do best. You were giving the girls a big smile and finally asked: “What do you wish to know?”

You arrived at the hotel hours later. Einar was already waiting for you, angrily because you didn’t take his calls all day. 

“Is it so hard to pick up your phone when I call?”

“Sorry, I was at the cinema and after I ran into fans. But I’m on time, even earlier.”

“If this happens again, I won’t allow you to go anywhere without Edith around”, he claimed, exhaling the smoke inside his lungs.

“I’m not a child! I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Then stop acting like one”, you stomped past him, just wanting to go into your bedroom, but Edith was blocking your way and gestured to you to calm down. Wanting to slip past her, she gave you a particular look. 

“I know, he means well, bla bla bla. Everything is fine. Just leave me alone, okay?”, you ducked past her and locked your room. 

You threw yourself on the bed, finally able to completely relax and on the brim of falling into a deep slumber as you felt the three containers in your jeans pocket. Rolling on your back, you took them out and inspected the gooey liquid, letting out a deep laughter. 

You really tested your luck today. Not only did you illegally enter a crime scene, you also managed to run away from the police. Successfully! Not losing a single drop of blood. 

Nevertheless the next day you would have to explain to Einar why you lost your coat. However you would think about a lie when the time came.

In a few hours, you would know what happened to these kids. You just had to wait til Einar and Edith were asleep. You couldn’t risk them finding out. So you hid the containers under the unoccupied pillow next to yours before letting your tiredness consume you. 

You woke up at 3am. Ghost hour, that irony. 

Freeing your legs from the blanket, you walked to the door and listened to Einars loud snores. When he was asleep, Edith should be as well. You turned around, fishing for the containers from under your pillow and grabbing your trusty jack-knife. Placing everything on the ground, you pulled your jeans down, revealing your bare thighs. Usually you summon Elwe by cutting your palm, because these scars aren’t as noticeable. However Einar would see a new wound and you couldn’t risk him being suspicious of you. So the thigh it was. 

Luckily you weren’t sensitive to pain, so you wouldn’t mind a small cut right above your left knee. Carefully gliding the sharp blade over your skin, a small line of blood now graced your leg. Not even a second after the cut, cursed energy came flowing out, feeling claws crawl into your leg, ready to rip your skin apart to draw more blood. You pushed Elwe off, mad because she knew exactly that you hate it, when she did this. Noticing her hungry, saliva-filled beak, you knew she would do everything for a bit of your blood, so the deal should be easy.

“Show me what happened to them and you get to drink my blood for 30 seconds”, you told her, showing her the containers. Eagerly agreeing to your request by jumping up and down like a small child, you nearly forgot that Elwe is a curse, who would love nothing more than to go on a killing spree. If you would let her. Thankfully you had complete control over her, so she couldn’t harm anyone without your consent. 

Nevertheless you had no control over her technique. So to get her help, you had to make offers. Reading the past of people she mostly wants a bit of blood, nothing too serious, doable. 

However reading someone's future requires more than just a few drops of blood.

You opened one container and took it quickly like a shot. You know the taste of blood. It’s nothing new to you, but you never drank the blood of someone who was dead for such a long time. Trying not to think about it too much to avoid puking, you looked into Elwes eyes and she showed you the last hours of their lives in fast forward, letting you replay certain scenes again or slowing down. 

You noticed nothing special. All skipped school before meeting with each other and going to the cinema. You saw the boy from the security camera sitting shyly at the back of the cinema, trying his best to not attract attention. And then halfway through the movie, they all felt a touch from something invisible and then it was over. Usually you were able to feel the soul slowly flowing out of the body, but this felt different. It made you nauseous. After you went through the memories of the last one and again witnessed the ending, you felt like blacking out. The only reason you didn’t, was because of the anger you felt growing inside of you. You couldn’t explain what exactly happened to their souls, but it felt like they were ripped apart, deformed to a degree of no return. These souls wouldn’t be able to ever find peace. Holding onto your bed frame, trying your best to keep breathing, Elwe attacked your leg with her beak, diving deep into your wound. You tried to focus on your timer, ready to send her back into your body. 

Souls are immortal and therefore holy. This curse has the power to touch them and rip them apart as it pleases. A true monster. 

The thought of dying never scared you. You knew that the death of your mortal, carnal body was inevitable, but your soul would live on. Forever being a part of the universe. This curse made you fear death and you hated it for it. For making you rethink your fate. Why would the universe allow something like this thing to exist? Was it a mistake? A fatal mistake. You crumbled down, not knowing what to get out of this. All you knew was that you couldn’t lose your trust. At least not the trust in yourself. 

But the more you thought about it, the more you realized that fate was helping you. It planted the will inside your head to go to Tokyo, to finally take action. It led you to the cinema, helped you to get more clues and sent you the girls to help you escape. 

Maybe curses were something the universe can’t control, something it didn’t intend to create. When curses are made by the bad thoughts and actions of humans, they are therefore created by souls. Souls as immortal as the universe, so could there be a possibility that souls can form something that wasn’t intended to exist? Something mighty enough to cause even their creator harm? 

Ah, you thought your brain was going to explode, trying to find the why. 

Redirecting your thoughts to something else, you thought about your ability to kill this curse. Your technique isn’t made to kill, nor is Elwe a help. She has great power, but she not as strong as this curse. No doubt she could kill a dozen humans easily, but definitely not a curse, which is able to do this. You best bet was therefore your technique. Robbing the curse as much cursed energy as possible til it begs you to kill it. But how, you never killed a curse. Would a simple stab do the job? Probably, but what if not. Making a mistake could cause you to end up the way these kids did. 

Impossible. 

The universe is on your side. Always. It wouldn’t allow you to be hurt in that way. 

Thinking again, your technique is the perfect counterpart. From what you gathered, the curse uses cursed energy to transform the souls. Your technique wouldn’t even allow it to use it against you. In a way you immune or at least it would leave a red mark on you. But would you be able to make the finale cut? To kill it? 

Pulling at your hair in agony, you thought back to the blonde stranger. What if he could help you? Maybe he was like Einar, born with a technique to kill curses. 

Of course, girl, it would be easier to persuade Einar to find and kill this curse with you than finding and asking that guy for help. Big chance that he is in affiliation with the people who want Einar dead. And even if he isn’t involved with those people, you lied to police and fleed from a crime scene. He probably wouldn’t even listen to your explanation or worse not take you seriously. 

Einar told you about sorcerers. They are people who eliminate curses or rouge curse users, who went against the rules. They are brutal and ruthless. He would see you as a curse user, killing you before you would be able to cause him harm. So with all that in mind, why did something inside of you tell you, you’re wrong. You were particularly paralized as you looked into his face. It felt like time stood still, having the universe literally scream at you ‘look at this dude! He’s your fate.’ 

Okay, maybe you were being over-dramatic, probably you just find him hot.

Not everything is a sign from the universe, you’re just a human, who is attracted to another human, you told yourself. 

So no, you have to kill this curse on your own. And once you are in front of it, you know, you will be able to do so.

With that confidently in mind, you asked the universe to send you clear signs again to finally put an end to this curse. 

And you received a clear sign in the afternoon. There was something brewing under the city, away from the common crowds of people. The general mood was gloomy and heavy, giving the air a sense of being graspable. It was eerie, giving your entire body goosebumps. But it was not worse than the emotions you felt upon seeing the corpses or what they felt in the moment of their deaths. So you had to act fast, before these energies disappeared. While running out to the streets, you wrote Einar a message, telling him you would be right back. After a few minutes of confusingly running towards the strongest point of the energy outburst, you realized you forgot to put shoes on. Nevermind, wearing no shoes gave you the sense of feeling the energy underneath you better. 

The closer you got to the strongest point, the more you searched around for ways to get down there. Almost half a kilometer away, you saw an open sewer cover. 

And that’s roughly how you ended up watting through the gooey undergrounds of tokyo. Shambling through tunnels towards your goal, you find yourself in a big space, with water coming down the walls. The noisy splashing of it distracts you so much that you first don’t notice the two individuals fighting. You half-lifed your energy a bit before going into the sewer, so you won’t be easily detectable. 

However they notice you before you notice them. 

In an instant you feel the energy shift, cooling down a bit. That’s when you take a look at them. Your gaze falls first on a guy in a beige suit (and you think you are wearing something impractical). On reflection you quickly realize that he is the guy from the cinema. 

Fuck, you should have concentrated more. 

You could have easily figured out that it is his energy mixed with the one from the curse. If the technique of the curse is how you think it is, you can beat it. 

However, you don’t know anything about the other guy. 

You look at his hand.

Crap, he has a weapon and physically he is way stronger than you. 

And the worse, you can read his facial-expressions like a book. He recognizes you. The one who lied about being a specialist, stole blood from deformed corpses and ran away from police and him. 

Not good. 

In a nutshell he sees you as his enemy. 

And you don’t want him as your enemy, for your own health, but more so because both of you have a common goal. Eliminate the curse. 

That's when you spot your opportunity. He is injured, not severe but still dire enough to make a proposal.

Shifting your attention towards the curse now, you claim: “Sorcerer, you want it dead, I want it dead! That is why we are both here, we share a common goal. Let’s make a deal. I take care of the curse and you forget that I was ever here. Deal?”

He looks at you like you lost your mind.

Great, he doesn’t take you seriously. 

Taking a deep breath to think about your next move, you smell it again. The rotten flesh. Upon looking more at the curse, you see mountains of flesh, formed into different shapes and clearly used as a weapon against the sorcerer. The curse’s arms are right now shaped like large blades. So it can also form its own body to its liking. Interesting, but if your theory is right, it still won’t be able to harm you. 

Before the sorcerer has a chance to answer you, the curse laughs bitterly and howls: “Challenge accepted, little one!”

With that it sprints towards you while you wait for any contact with your body. 

“Idle transfiguration”, you hear it whisper right before he wants to touch your wrist. 

Out of nowhere, fast like lightning the sorcerer grabs your arm, allowing the curse to clutch at his wrist. You react fast, clawing down your nails into the curse’s forearm, right before it looks at the sorcerer and says: “Got you!”

Nothing happens. Like you expected. Confused looks are shared between the curse and the sorcerer. You just laugh, clawing your nails deeper into its skin, getting it to let go of the sorcerer: “No, I got you.”

You feel mighty as you reconized fear in its eyes. Grabbing the curse by its throat with your unused hand, you now work you technique through its cursed energy storage. 

Half, half, half and so on.

Due to the shock, it doesn’t move. It just stares at you, trying to figure your technique out. 

But you aren’t a James Bond villain, so you won’t tell. 

Instead you ask: “Why did you send me a deformed human?”

It croaks, not able to speak due to its energy loss. 

Soon it will beg you to finally kill it. Taking a curse's energy must feel like bleeding out until no more blood is left, but not being able to finally die. 

“Can’t answer? Tough! Doesn’t matter, I don’t need answers. My mission is to get rid of you.” 

You came to the conclusion that the universe holds so many secrets and mysteries, you won’t mind dying without knowing why it sent you the package.

Feeling it grow limber and limber under your touch, you proceed: “Now you know fear, know how your victims felt. Scary isn’t it? But fear no more, soon it will be over.”

While still holding it in an iron grip, you look over to the sorcerer, who is still in shock that he didn’t transform. He probably knew about its technique as well, but still jumped between you and the curse. Knowing it would have transformed him with no way of surviving. 

“I need your help, you have to finish….”, before you can end your sentence, you feel the curse slip right through your hands, transforming itself into a tiny version of it. It instantly runs towards the walls, wanting to find shelter and probably escape through the small cracks in it. Before you realize what just happened, you share a surprised look with the sorcerer, who began speeding towards the curse.

“Fuck!”, you screamed, running after it, not being able to keep up with both of them. The curse uses his last bit of cursed energy to hasten its legs, running at an immense speed. Right before the sorcerer lunges to strike the curse with his weapon, it dashes through a crack and is gone. 

However the sorcerer still uses his momentum and hits the wall with such raw energy that it feels like an explosion, making you lose your balance and falling into your knees. 

The wall is completely crumbled with no trace of the curse. 

Frustrated, you stay on your knees, not able to function right now. 

Just too much stuff has happened in the last couple seconds. You need a breather. You look up, seeing the sorcerer taking a phone out of his pocket, quickly making a call before focusing his attention on you, gripping his weapon tight again. 

“Woah, we had a deal!”, you mention, holding your hands up. 

“I never agreed”, he bluntly says, walking towards you. 

“That’s true, but I saved you!”, you claim, wanting to get back on your feet.

“Stay still”, he murmurs: “because of you I was distracted, not being able to fulfill my mission.”

You stay still while guiltlessly holding your hands up: “If your mission was to get yourself killed, you would have succeeded without me, that’s for sure! Look at your wound! Another hit like this and it would’ve been over for you!” 

He now stood in front of you, gazing down while holding his weirdly wrapped knife on your temple. 

“Just say thank you and we are even”, sometimes you hate yourself for having a cheeky big mouth but you truthfully don’t know a better way to react to somebody holding a weapon to your head. 

Begging? No, not in a million years. 

Manipulating him by being adamant that without you, he would be part of the curse’s rotten flesh army? Yes, a hundred percent, yes.

He doesn’t react, staring at you. All while his brain is probably burning, trying to find a resolution. 

“I don’t know about the sorcerer's moral code, if you guys even have one. But admit it, I just saved your ass from ending up getting transformed. You will never see or hear anything from me again, promise. Just let me leave.”

He takes a deep breath, throws his head back and pinches his nose bridge with his unoccupied hand. 

That could have been your chance to run for it, but you saw how fast he is. 

No way you could outrun him, so you just stay here, waiting for his response. 

“Who are you?”, he asks you, focusing back on you, but he pulls his glasses off. This is the first time you see his eyes. They are brown with a yellowish hint. Beautiful, you think. Yet he looks so tired, certainly because of the fight and his wound. 

Stop, don’t have compassion! He is holding a weapon to your head! 

Trying your best to look as detached as possible, you told him your name, your real name. You take a liking to him, that’s why for once you didn’t lie. 

However to be safe you just told him your first name. Leaving your last name out. Out of fear that he would recognize it. After Einar took you in, you used his name as yours. Not wanting to be named after your father and Einar never told you your mothers last name. He keeps a lot of secrets, as he always mentions, for your own sake.  

The sorcerer stares at you for a few more seconds before tucking his weapon between his shoulder blades. 

“Are you hurt?”, he asks seemingly without regarding that you just told him your name. 

“Just a few scratches on my feet from walking here without shoes, nothing concerning. But you should look after yourself, you need to see a doctor.”

“I know”, he comes down on your eye level and continues: “You see, we got a small problem in your proposal. The curse is still alive and we both are after it. So tell me, can you really keep your promise?”

You gulp, not able to give him a quick, genuine answer. He straightens himself again and says: “I figured. Looks like you’re in a delicate situation.”

Fast like lightning again, he grabs the back of your dress, not daring to touch your skin.

“I can’t risk getting distracted again.”

What does he mean by that? Is he going to kill you? For trying to kill the curse as well?

Oh hell no! 

You try to break free, not caring if you will tear your dress. Thinking back at his wound, you dig your elbow into it, causing him to let go of his knife and using his newly unoccupied hand to fixate you by touching your bare shoulder. While trying to get your hands on his knife, you half-lifed his energy nearly as fast as you did with the curse. 

He let go of you, clearly affected by your technique. 

“Listen, I’m not trying to hurt you. Just come with me to jujutsu tech and we will talk.”

You have his knife, holding it in front of your body like a shield while creating space in between you by taking backwards steps.

“Bullshit! If you wanted to talk, you wouldn’t have attacked me!”

“If I wanted to kill you, you would be dead on the ground now”, the way he says it, tells you that he is serious. 

No witty shit talk to get you freaked out. He knows you wouldn’t stand a chance against him. However he doesn’t know about Elwe, who would come out and defend you if you are in serious danger. If you die, she dies as well, so she kind of has a reason to keep your ass safe and sound. But your poultry-like curse wouldn’t stand a chance either in a fight. She’s really strong, but one good hit with his weapon and she would be on the ground next to your busted frame. Feeling caged as he begins to walk towards you again, you quickly figure that you have no idea how to use this type of knife, so you use it as a chance. 

Without thinking a second time about your action, you throw his weapon into the pit, where all the water coming from the walls connects to go down a stream in the tunnel. It is gone now.

“Why? What was that!”, he looks at you enraged, Running past you to take a look at the pit. 

“If you run, I will still get you. So don’t even try it”, he says as he kneels down to start fishing with his long and muscular arm in the slimy water. 

You can’t contain a small laugh. He just gives you an angry look which makes your laughter die but a smirk is still plastered on your lips. 

“Looks like you are now in a delicate situation. Or should I say sticky”, you remark, enjoying the circumstances way too much. After you see his arm moving around a few more times, he pulls his arm out of the pit, visibly irritated.

He takes a look at his watch, whispering to himself: “It’s way over-time”, before focusing back on you. You had time to think while he was fishing. You have a plan. One which inquires your best I’m such a innocent, fragile, little thing act. He is smart, you aren’t sure if he would fall for it, but it’s your best take.

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to barge into your fight and cause you trouble. I just saw what that curse did to these kids and I had to do something. It was irresponsible of me to think I could exorcise it without being trained in doing so”, you smiled sweetly at him while acting like you are holding back tears. 

He looks at you, stoic. Unable to read his expression, you continue: “To be honest, I’m still scared. How could I ever think I was made for this!”

Acting insecure and naive, as if you hadn’t known how strong this curse is. You hide your face behind your hand, making sniffle sounds, before you are acting like you want to regain your countenance.

You wipe away fake tears, smiling at him again. 

“I have another proposal. You will never see me again, if you promise me that you sorcerers will exorcise this curse. Deal?”

Everything inside of you is reluctant by your lie. You can’t just leave it to them. It is your mission, so many signs point at you. 

You stick out your hand, waiting for him to accept the deal. How could he say no to your perfect proposal, which keeps both of you out of trouble. He gives you a side-eye, but accepts your deal by shaking your hand a bit too rough. You smile, not activating your technique to keep the peace. After staring into each other's eyes for a few more seconds, you notice a pink gleam on his cheeks. He turns away, delaring: “You know how to get out of here?”

“I will find a way, don’t worry.”

“Good.”

“Ehm, sorry for throwing your weapon away. To be honest I don’t know why I did it. It just came over me.”

“Forget it. It’s alright”, it in fact isn’t alright, you could tell by his bugged expression.

“You have to go. My co-workers will be here soon.”

You comply and walk toward the tunnel you came out of. But prior you turn to him again, now being the one to ask for his name.

“Nanami Kento”, he says without missing a beat. You trust him with your name and he does the same. You try to fight the urge to crack a smile, but it still overcomes you. 

If the circumstances were different you would want to see him again. 

“Until we meet again, Kento!”, you shout, walking towards the tunnel again. But you can’t resist taking another look at his face, so you turn around again, peer at his unamused expression and stick your tongue out while saying: “Jokes!”

With your last word, you jump into the tunnel, hearing the dabble of the water and a soft: “Take care.”

That was fun, you think, truly feeling alive for the first time in your life after spending it running away or being the quiet watcher. You immediately think of a good lie to tell him when you will meet him again, which you maybe will, if one of you doesn’t kill the curse before the other finds it.  

You smirk, excited for your next encounter. 

Lying is truly the most fun a girl can have. 

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

Lord High Everything Else

Catching up on the day 22 prompt: “plenty of fish in the sea”... I decided not to fight the earworm I got due to the similarity to the lyrics in the Mikado but work with it instead...

Matthew sighed as he got into bed.  

“Poor Edith, she didn’t deserve that.”

“I don’t know,” Mary mused. “I think there were enough warning signs about Sir Anthony, I do wish she had given up on him before it became so public.”

“She felt desperate, I suppose.”

Mary looked over from her vanity, silently thinking. “There are fewer young men to go around, but there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Sir Anthony wasn’t the only older man who might want a younger wife.”

“Mary, you know you’ve got me thinking something entirely inappropriate now.”

Mary looked confused. “I really don’t see what I could have said along those lines.”

Matthew tried his best to muffle a laugh. “It’s just… I suddenly remembered the production of the Mikado that my college at Oxford put on… it’s all I can do not to start singing now.”

“You never told me about this.”

“I don’t exactly want to remember my brief career in operetta,” he smirked.

“So you were in this production?” Mary asked.

“Yes, I was.”

“You do know you have to tell me what role you played now, since you didn’t just say you were in the chorus.”

“I played Pooh-Bah,” Matthew admitted.

Mary chuckled, walking over to the bed. “So, you were Lord High Everything Else?” 

“Yes, yes I was,” Matthew smiled. “But, at any rate, it would be highly inappropriate to start singing now.”

“Very true.  But were you that awful?”

“Not really, but thank goodness no one thought to take photographs of us. The makeup was something hideous. I thought that part was a terrible idea, and we should have just gone with kimonos.”

“But people expect that,” Mary said. 

“That’s true.  At any rate, we should be getting to bed. Some of us will need to be fully rested tomorrow.”

“And sometime more appropriate, I would like to hear you reprise your role. Without makeup, of course.”

“Whatever you wish, my dear.”

[fear-and-delight-l]

GENDERSWAPPED!LOSERS

HERE WE GO 

JILLIAN DENBROUGH 

-Jill is very avid about getting her sister, Georgia back. Well, at least the killer anyways. 

-Jill has never finished any of her writing, until she is an adult. 

-aRTiSt??

-Jill gives hugs hugs hugs!!!

-everyone wants her hugs. 

-ok, Jill is very sexually confused. Bradley Marsh is good looking...but so is McKenna Hanlon with her pink lipstick and her always good looking pigtails....then there is Sarah Uris, who is so cute with her blonde/brown curls and her little cheerleading outfit. 

-suffers from stuttering simp disorder 

-simp simp simp

-simp? Yes. 

-ok but I think she would like Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus lmao

-FLANNEL GODDESS!!! Has flannels in so many colors. 

-”R-R-Riley, stop m-making fun of m-my j-j-jorts.” 

-oh yeah. She is rocking the jean shorts. They either go to around her knees or near the middle of her thighs. 

-shoulder length brown hair. Screams bisexual. 

RILEY TOZIER

-just gonna put this out there, take it as you will, but her glasses make her look like a fish. Her eyes are HUGE 

-goddess or (what is a non-binary god? Godthem?) of dad jokes. But not the corny kind. The kind of dad jokes that include sleeping with him and “riding him like a horse.” 

-”so not fucking funny.” -Edith Kaspbrak, who’s dad isn’t even present in her life.  -yeah, bisexual.  -sexual for Edith Kaspbrak.  -And Sarah Uris

-And Bradley Marsh

-and Jill Denbrough 

-and Brenna Hanscom

-and Patrick Hockstetter (she regrets this. But when Patrick isn’t chasing her with Bowers and Criss and Huggins, she likes to notice that Patrick is definitely good looking)

-crazy wavy hair. Seriously, she wears it in a pixie cut, and it is CRAZY. But she help Bradley cut away his mullet. 

-the friendship dynamic between Riley Tozier and Bradley Marsh is UNSTOPPABLE!

-plays softball with Jill. She is pitcher, and damn is she good. (Jill plays third base, for reference)

-the girls on the softball team sort of like her, sort of not. She’s a loser, and they don’t like her because everyone thinks she’s queer.  -still a trash mouth 

-still a smartass 

-Rildeth? Edithley? Redith?

BRADLEY MARSH

-all right, here we go. 

-POWER BISEXUAL

-He came out to Riley, and Riley came out to him. 

-daddy issues  

-daddy issues

-daddy issues

-anyways, Bradley had a mullet that his dad made him wear, and when Riley helped him cut it....freedom!

-when he and the other losers are going to the quarry, he likes to help McKenna pick flowers so Sarah will have some to turn into flower crowns  

-is totally charmed by Jill  Denbrough. He is a simp for how charming she is. Bravery, art...

-Bradley also likes to draw. 

-Brenna may be totally smitten with him....

-Bradley is the same age as all the other losers, but the losers all see him as older. 

-hates his father, feels weak around him. 

-he and Riley often share cigarettes. (I love the friendship dynamic here.)

-Bradley has little freckles, and when he and Brenna get together as adults, Brenna likes to kiss all of them. 

-Bradley loves to hang with Sarah, and she is such a sweetie. She gets annoyed, but when she is around Bradley, she is calm. 

-Bradley likes to put his arm around Sarah, ALWAYS

-I’m in love

SARAH URIS 

-WE LOVE OUR JEWISH CHEERLEADER LESBIAN

-yes, Sarah Uris is cheer captain. The other cheerleaders are skeptical of her, but treat her ok nonetheless. 

-Sarah Uris is a softie who will tell you to fuck off. 

-bridwatcher. Sarah loves her birds. She likes to sit with Jill. Jill draws birds while Sarah quietly talk about the birds. 

-Brenna loves to play with her curls, braiding them and doing fun styles with them with the help from McKenna. 

-sundresses one day, shorts and a shirt the next. 

-her hair is so nice! Think...classic curls. Google for reference. 

-the cheerleaders don’t go to track meets or softball games. So, since Brenna and Edith are both in track and Jill and Riley are softball players, she goes in her own cheerleading outfit, and even snags one for McKenna, (who isn’t a cheerleader.) and they both cheer at track and softball. 

-must I remind you that Jill is a simp for BOTH OF THEM. AND BRADLEY?? HE CHEERS THEM ON TOO.

-one time Bradley actually got into a cheerleading skirt??!!

-anyways, back to Sarah.  -she loves to give everyone kisses before leaving. Here’s how she gives them:

Jill: cheek kiss, runs a hand through her hair.  Edith: takes Edith’s face in her hands and kisses her nose. Edith sometimes backs up a little when she feels a little panicky about germs, but always accepts Sarah’s kiss.  Bradley: forehead. She ruffles his hair, and sometimes, Bradley kisses her chin as she is kissing his forehead.  McKenna: near her lips. Like, the corner of her mouth. 🥺 Brenna: cheek kiss. She holds brenna’s chin while kissing her.  Riley: straight on the lips. Or the forehead if you song ship stozier. -ok, I am a huge fan of Sarah+Riley....but then there is Edith. Poly??? Possibly 

-anyways, Sarah loves to make flower crowns and put them in bradley’s hair. 

-she and Brenna are very close. If Sarah isn’t next to Bradley, or has Riley’s arm around her shoulders, she is with Brenna, either holding her hand or showing her stuff about plants or birds. She gives Brenna constant praise about the barrens 

-very grumpy a lot.

BRENNA HANSCOM

ok, Brenna is straight. I didn’t change that.  -Brenna thinks constructively, and is a visual learner. Constantly thinks about the future. 

-ok, she is so so so sweet. Likes to wear this cute pink skirt, but only around the losers. 

-POETRY

-She loves to read and wrote poetry. It’s so cute I just can’t aaaah-

-ok, so she’s on the track team. Edith convinces her in 10th grade. 

-HAIR CLIPS! she has them in her hair, and tons extra in her backpack. 

-Bradley loves it when Brenna plays with his hair and puts clips in it. 

-she and Bradley are very good friends. 

-she may be straight, but isn’t uncomfortable when Sarah holds her hand or Riley talks about her gay situation or when Jill tells her she’s pretty. She just isn’t gay but she loves and supports her gay friends. She even kissed McKenna in a game of spin the bottle

-poor baby has body insecurities...

-ugh, she hates Henry Bowers. But she loves ice cream! She likes vanilla because it’s sweet and plain. 

-when they have sleepovers, everyone always has a disc of New Kids on the Block to play for her (AAA!)

-Riley literally swore to protect her. Even though Riley’s sarcasm can be demeaning, she trusts her. 

-Brenna Hanscom, a sweetie that will fight for you.

McKenna Hanlon, the badass vegan who definitely has WAP. 

-ok, I didn’t change her race, she is still black. 

-McKenna is a sign of hope. Everyone feels so uplifted around her. 

-she has this signature pink lipstick she wears everyday the Greta Bowie makes fun of, but she still wears it. 

-she loves bubblegum. McKenna has it ALL THE TIME. 

-inspiration? Yes. She is a goddess. 

-ok, she is so nice, but that gun she has? Pennywise doesn’t stand a chance. McKenna is a fighter. 

-McKenna has these cute little pig tails that she wears with purple ribbons. Jill loves to listen to her talk. 

-definitely the least insane of all the losers, but girl knows how to have fun!

-not a huge smoker, but occasionally will share one with Bradley. 

-the friendship between McKenna and Bradley is impeccable. They are a badass duo. 

-I don’t know what her sexuality is. She definitely doesn’t. Although she and Jill got caught making out in a closet. They said it was no strings attached....suspicious.

-she is indeed vegan. She just has a special love for animals and can’t bring herself to eat them. She isn’t protesting everyone to go vegan, she just eats how she wants. She occasionally slips and goes for ice cream though😉

-at the rock war, after she recovered a little from Bowers, SHE BEAT HIS ASS!

-my queen, gosh I love her!

-she is so much fun to be around. One time, in the barrens, she installed a swing so she could sit in somethin because Riley and Edith and Sarah are always in the hammock together. (It’s bound to break). 

-need a therapist? She’s ya girl. 

EDITH!!

-ok, so this looks very soft girl, but Edith is fiery!  -her mom makes her worry a lot about disease and what not, but her anxiety about what her mom may do is worse. 

-seriously, she is scared of her mother. She doesn’t even know if her sickness are real. 

-anyways, don’t fuck with her. She will bite you. 

-no seriously, she will bite you. One time in a fight with Hockstetter, she bit him. She was worried she might have gotten something in her mouth, but Sarah calmed her down.  -she may bicker with Riley, but really, she loves her. Her and her stupid glasses, 

-anyways, she is a sweetie. She runs track, but as long as Riley is waiting on the sidelines with her inhaler at the end, she is alright. 

-someone give this girl a hug. 

-internalized homophobia towards herself. 

-she and Bradley are good, they just aren’t as close. Edith is closest with Jill. 

-Edith looks up to Jill, big time. 

-Edith hates her mom very very much. 

-she wears cute little tops with shorts or skirts. Occasionally she will wear overalls. 

-fuck greta Bowie campaign? Yeah, Edith started it.

-Fanny pack! She has an extra pair of glasses for Riley, Bobby pins for Sarah, an extra pen or pencil for Jill, a mini stick of Bradley’ favorite deodorant, hair clips for Brenna, and McKenna’s favorite bubblegum. 

-Riley calls her Eds. She hates it because it sounds like a boy name. She hates it even more when Riley calls her Eddie. 

-kisses tears away. Crying? She will kiss your cheeks and wipe those tears away. She did that when Brenna got cut by Bowers. 

-inhaler? Yes. It’s her little beacon of safety. 

-ice cream and comic books with Riley, bird watching and flower crowns with Sarah are her favorites! 

-doesn’t know her sexual preference, she’s just not straight. 

-butterflies always land on her when she’s outside. One landed on her nose once and Riley and Sarah started rock-paper-scissoring for who got her. (That was long forgotten since Riley is a sore loser.)

-my baby has long hair is very slight waves. It goes down to her breasts. 

-likes to wear Jill’s Flannels. 

-OK SHE IS SO CUTE IN A PAIR OF BAGGY JEANS AND A TANK TOP, WEARING SOMEONE’S JACKET OMG

-Edith is cold? Never. She always has someone’s something, whether it’s McKenna’s iconic leather jacket or Jill’s flannels

................................................................................................................................

Ok! Those are my headcanons. Feel free to repost, I don’t give a damn. If you want drawings or more headcanons of them, I am always open. I had this posted on my old account but that got taken down....I was previously coffeeandweasleys

@im-a-rocketman​, @nate-isnt-great​ @imreddieimreddieimreddie​ @ur-not-reddie​

[sassanoe]

Love at first fright - Thomas Sharpe

Masterlist

-Is a slight Marvel crossover. The main character is the younger sister of Tony Stark, the only real crossover with this.-

Thomas and Lucille Sharpe have been dead for over 100 years. Allerdale Hall had been untouched all this time. Though now there is a young woman who bought the house, unknowing of the ghost that will come with it. She is a smart, independent woman who just wanted a side project and a break from her busy life. Well, she will be getting a break, just not the kind she hoped.

The flight to Allerdale Hall took forever.“Tony, did you have to come with me?” She said, “Well, your suit I mean.” She huffed not liking that her brother sent his suit with her. “I am not a child anymore, it's an old house. What, do you think a ghost will bully me?” She sassed the suit. “No, this just helps me to feel better, should something happen you will be safe.” He responded with just as much an attitude as his sister. “I am also sending the suit so that no men bother you. You are twenty-two, a Stark, and a billionaire, little sister. I don’t exactly want anything to happen to you. Who else will yell at me?” She giggled “Literally everyone, Tony.” “It’s not the same little sister.” He chuckled. “I’ll call you later, I’m pulling into the drive now. Looks like a crime scene, here.” “Well stay safe, I love you.” “I love you too, Tony.” She smiled and hung up.

Thomas stood looking out the window at the path leading to the house. A strange contraption coming up with a woman with strange clothing getting out of the said contraption. He hoped she wasn’t coming in here, but he knew she was. Lucille will not be happy with a woman in the house. He watched as she pulled out a key then the main doors opened. He floated down to watch quietly as the young woman walked in “F.R.I.D.A.Y. Do a scan of the house and area, please. I would like to have a blueprint of the house.” A metal man came flying in going through the whole house scanning everything. Before it came back and landed next to the mystery woman again. “Miss Stark, everything has been scanned as well I sent the information to your brother.” “Thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”  Thomas stayed in the shadows watching quietly.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., how long will it take to restore the home with some tech improvement?" She asked, "Should take but a month using the equipment we came with." The metal thing responded. "Perfect." Taking off her jacket, she set it on the arm of the suit. She looked around them and smiled "A perfect project. My bags, please."  Thomas smiled slightly, she was very pretty though her clothes were strange. The suit went out to retrieve her things, then followed her up the stairs. He followed behind quietly as she kept walking until she selected a room. He watched as she started to clean it with the help of the A.I. She smiled and started pulling open drawers.

 "Thomas Sharpe." He froze. Did she know he was there, waiting for anything else he went closer to see she found his diary. "Must be the former owner of the house. F.R.I.D.A.Y. search Thomas Sharpe. I wish to know as much about the owner. It will possibly help in restoring the home to its former glory." She handed his diary to the metal man. It scanned through everything in the diary, as she went about her business. 

"Thomas Sharpe, 34 years of age, engineer, industrialist, the previous owner of Allerdale Hall. His diary reads that he was sexually involved with his sister, who killed their mother, along with killing his previous wives. They would steal his wife's money then move to the next one. His sister and he had a child that was born wrong, resulting in its death. He fell in love with a woman named Edith Cushing. He is also the creator of the machine outside. Do you wish to fix that as well?" Thomas was shocked, how had the metal thing known all of these things and read his diary. "Poor man," She sighed "Yes, I wish to fix the machine, maybe get it running better. As well, would you start repairing the home's pipes and such, along with adding better electricity, so that I will be able to charge you?" "Yes, Miss Stark." The metal man left. Thomas was shocked as all the young woman had to say was, poor man. 

“This was Thomas’s room then. I'll need to get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to order me a new mattress, bedding, and the bathroom also needs to be fixed. I didn't know the house would need this much love and care, but it will be worth it." She turned and put one of the boxes on the bed and started going through it before she started to pull off her top. Thomas looked away quickly, positive if he was still alive he would be red in the face. She walked through him to the dresser and he was even more shocked. She had on the smallest of shorts and a top that left barely anything to the imagination. Surely that was her undergarments. The metal thing came back into the room. "Y/N Y/M/N Stark!"

She groaned "Yes?" "What the hell do you think you're doing? Why didn't you make sure there was running water and such already there?" Thomas looked at the metal man confused, it sounded different now. "Because I am hard-headed much like my older brother." The metal man was her brother? There was a huff, "I'm sending my other suits to fix the house in a week you will leave then come back." "Dammit, Tony!" Thomas smiled slightly, such vulgar language for a woman. "As your older brother, I would feel better about it." She huffed "Fine, but I want to stay." "Deal." 

The metal man then left the room again. The woman he now knew as Y/N walked back down to the library. He watched as Lucille came from the darkness in the corner, as Y/N took a seat at the piano. "Leave her alone," Thomas growled to his sister. "What do you love her?" Lucille glared at him as Y/N started playing the piano. "She will not have what is mine!" Lucille yelled. Thomas broke a vase to try and make Y/N leave, but she just glanced then went back to playing. Lucille started to make the chandelier shake and fall. Thomas quickly tackled Y/N to the ground out of the way protecting her. Y/N screamed and then everything was quiet. He glared at Lucille before looking to Y/N. She was looking at him in shock. "W-Who are you?" She asked softly, scanning her eyes over his face. Lucille started to make her way towards them, Thomas quickly helped her up and brought her to her room before disappearing again. Y/N stood there shocked. "There is a ghost." She said quietly.

A week had passed, the house was in perfect condition thanks to her brother, and no ghost was to be seen. Walking back to her room she huffed she had been looking for him all day. "I can only assume you are watching me. I'm not scared. Honestly, I just wish to talk. Please?" She huffed and threw herself onto the bed. "I wonder, are you Sir Thomas Sharpe?" No response, she huffed and got up.

Unbeknownst to her, Thomas was in the room sitting on the end of the bed next to her. Over the week, he had learned many things about her and found himself falling in love. She was intelligent, and held her ground against her brother. She would tinker with all of his inventions, making them better. The thing he had come to love most was that she spoke to him even when she questioned if he was listening. She would read aloud, ask his opinion only to receive no answer. He thought it cute when she would call out that she was going to bathe or change and tell him he better not look.

He followed as she went to the attic. He never understood why she didn't have it fixed. She sat on the chair up there. Lucille hated it every time he came up here with her. "What is she doing in our room." Lucille snapped to Thomas, "Lucille, leave-" "Thomas?" The voice was soft, making him look to the woman in the chair. "You keep defending and protecting her! It can't simply be because she is alive. You love her, but you should only love me, Thomas!" Lucille growled at him. "What? Do you wish to fuck her too!" Thomas continued to ignore his sister.

"Would it be so hard for me to see you? Just once more, please?" Y/N said softly, "I truly wish to thank you for saving me. You didn't have to, but you did." Once again, she got no response. Walking over to the things on the table she gently ran her fingers across the top of the bed. "I am going to assume something major happened here."

Lucille looked to Thomas "Make her leave, or I will. I am sick of her calling your name. Speaking to you as if she loves you. She will never love you, because you are dead. I love you Thomas and that is enough." 

Y/N looked around and thought of everything F.R.I.D.A.Y. told her. She sighed something about the attic just gave her a weird feeling that was why she left it but she sighed. "This will be the next to go then." She walked through Thomas and Lucille going back down to her room. Everything in the home had been updated now having a slightly modern feel to it, because of this she was able to see what he looked like. Having read his diary and his journals for his machines she found she was intrigued by this man. She laid in the bed with a frown. "Your sister murdered you."

"She did." Y/N jumped out of her spot staring at him. "Thomas?" He nodded, and she smiled brightly. "Have you been watching over me?" He nodded again. "Oh please speak again. I would love to hear your voice." He smiled at that, "What is it you wish to hear?" She sat back on the bed with the brightest of smiles, asking him all her questions. He stayed answering every single one. Laying with her when it started to get late. She spoke to him of her brother and how she was sure the two would get along.

Months had passed, and the two had only grown closer. With their growing close, Thomas started to look like his human self. Though he was still very much a ghost. They would read together, cook, bake, and Y/N would show him how modern technology works. He learned she was a businesswoman and she learned he was not the murderer he seemed to think himself as. But, as their friendship and love grew, so did Lucille's jealousy. Many times Y/N was saved by Thomas from his sister. When they shared their first kiss Lucille ruined it.

Thomas and Y/N had been in the kitchen. She was dancing around the kitchen with him as they waited for her cookies to bake. Both seemed utterly happy. Her timer went off and Thomas was just not letting her go. She smiled and laughed struggling. "Thomas stop." She giggled breaking away. "Never." He smiled, grabbing her around the waist pulling her close. She looked up at him smiling before throwing flour in his face making her laugh hard. "Now you look as I had first seen you." He returned the favor, throwing some at her. She took the cookies out quickly before the two had continued to play around. Running around the island, he disappeared making her look around frantically.

 "Thomas?" She questioned quietly before she had flour dumped all over her. "Thomas! How could you!" She gasped before smirking and hugging him rubbing up on him returning the favor making him covered in flour. He hugged her tight so she couldn't move, making her smile. They both stared into each other's eyes leaning forward sharing a soft kiss. The room started to get colder and Thomas pulled away quickly looking to find Lucille. Right before she threw the knife Thomas pushed Y/N out of the way.

Ever since that day anything Y/N and Thomas started whether it is kissing or touching of any form something happened. "Thomas, darling. I am sick and tired of your sister. I can't even kiss you. This has been going on for months." Y/N sighed, taking a seat on the bed. Thomas frowned, "I know, and I'm sorry." She went to say something more before the A.I. went off speakers having been made into every room. "Miss Stark, your brother had received a book from Wanda for you regarding your situation, and it has arrived." She perked up "Lovely." "Darling what did you need a book for?" She looked to Thomas, "One to make you a physical and living man for but a few hours a day, along with a protection spell."

Later the same night had the two done the two spells granting Thomas life from dawn till dusk. The other spell simply being a protection spell in their room. No other worldly beings or ghosts will be able to bother them whilst the spell was in effect. "Are we sure this worked?" Thomas asked as she got up. "We are about to find out." He watched her confused as she opened the bedroom door before coming back over and pushing him onto the bed and kissing him.

He pulled away slightly, "Darling, why did you open the door?" She grinned, "I'm laying my claim." He still looked slightly confused and she continued. "If the protection spell worked your sister can't enter the bedroom. So I want to make love to you." His eyes widened, "You want her to see?" He asked, shocked "What if she hurts you once you leave the room?" Y/N smiled softly "Then we just won't be leaving the room." She smiled, making him smile in turn and kiss her.

[simonfarnabyslegs]

for the ask game: Julian, Captain and Humphrey! :)

julian

a song that reminds me of them: a cop out, since this one is canon. any time i hear "i'll make love to you," i think of him singing that at music club (and also mary going "i don't want him toooo" lol). i also feel like he would LOVE britney spears's music.

what they smell like: really expensive but really bad aftershave and too much cologne. also alcohol and sex. but the first thing you notice is the bad aftershave.

an otp: him and robin. there is no other acceptable pairing. i do think it would be funny if he and fanny had a thing though. or him and the captain (alison walks in on them doing something and the captain just yells "WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF CHAPS IN THE LIBRARY" while julian isn't even trying to keep what they were just doing a secret).

a notp: uhhh him and kitty. she's the only one i would be mad about tbh.

favorite platonic/familial relationships: the way he's like a really awful, bad-influence uncle to alison.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i can't think of one. we all generally agree that he's a hilarious bastard man and come up with stuff accordingly.

the position they sleep in: he sleeps in the exact middle of the bed, or he starts out on one side, since he's used to sharing in life, but gradually spreads out, and if anyone else tried to sleep in the same bed as him they'd be really annoyed because he always manages to hog so much space and leave them barely hanging onto the edge.

a crossover au i'd love to see them in: very unoriginal, but i'd love to see a horrible histories stupid deaths segment with him.

my favorite outfit they've ever worn: we've seen a couple now actually, unlike some of the other ghosts. but i really do prefer the no trousers look and anything else is slightly unsettling if i'm honest.

the captain

a song that reminds me of them: i really can't think of one. the captain isn't one of my favourite characters so i don't really think a lot about him when i listen to music. sorry.

what they smell like: weirdly, i think he smells like nothing. like. unsettlingly so. you almost want him to smell like something, but he just. doesn't. he's very clean, but he doesn't even smell like soap. it's just. an empty air smell, if you can describe it as such. he smokes, too, so you'd expect a tobacco smell or a smoke smell, but even that isn't there. this man just smells like nothing.

an otp: i don't ship him with any of the other ghosts in the house. i do think him and julian hooking up exactly one (1) time could lead to multiple hilarious comedic possibilities, but i don't want them to be in a relationship.

a notp: i saw someone shipping him with fanny and just... no. that doesn't make any sense.

favorite platonic/familial relationships: i love how he's just got that Dad Instinct. he looked at kitty and alison and went "isn't anyone going to father these young ladies?" and didn't wait for an answer.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i don't like the patcaps ship.

the position they sleep in: series 1 cap slept board-straight in the bed, almost like he was standing at attention. series 3 cap probably sleeps curled up on his side, or on his stomach, or curled up all nice and comfy.

a crossover au i'd love to see them in: young wwi era cap in series 2 of downton abbey. i don't know if i'd like to see him turn up as a young man in the trenches or one of the patients at downton, or maybe as a medical officer like thomas barrow, in the lower ranks, helping out in the background.

my favorite outfit they've ever worn: *gestures* this?

humphrey

a song that reminds me of them: "blue caravan" by vienna teng. after all the "mr. cheese" stuff, i got to thinking about how he probably has a lot of time to imagine the different lives he could have had if circumstances had been different, and this song is about imagining the perfect supportive, caring partner, but realising that they're not real and it's just a foolish self delusion. or perhaps a lighter, more hopeful version of the same theme, "jackie and wilson" by hozier, where the narrator once again imagines a partner and an ideal life which they haven't achieved yet, but they're still holding out for.

what they smell like: okay so tudors only bathed like once every six to eight weeks or something like that. they believed baths were bad for them. not only that, wealthy tudors' diets were appalling. so unfortunately he probably doesn't smell great. (but luckily i've never had much of a sense of smell, so.....)

an otp: him and someone who actually likes him and wants to talk to him and spend time with him. so far we haven't seen that, so for now i'll keep making up random ocs to set him up with.

a notp: him and thomas, since thomas is so horrible to him.

favorite platonic/familial relationships: i'd love to see him be yet another dad to alison, or to kitty.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: i don't like the whole humphrey and jemima thing because a lot of the stuff is either really fucking uncomfortable, or the people who write it make it weird by babying jemima. she's 11-12 years old and they treat her like she's four years old and that just feels really weird to me. obviously she's a kid and she should be treated like one, but there's also such a thing as age appropriate parenting. also i'm pretty sure jemima is meant to be one of john's kids who also died of the plague so like. acting like she's all alone and hasn't got any parents or anyone at all is so confusing to me because if she's one of john's kids, she's got like twenty parents. we just don't see her with the plague ghosts because like any kid, she probably goes off and plays away from her parents during the day. anyway.

the position they sleep in: when he was alive i feel like he would fall asleep in a normal position, on his back or on his side, but when his valet or whoever went to wake him up in the morning, he was always like, hanging off the bed or laying at a weird angle and they were always like "how the fuck did he even get like that." in death, like. his head just sleeps however it was set down or dropped. and i'm a fan of your headcanon that the body just collapses wherever it is when his head falls asleep.

a crossover au i'd love to see them in: forgive me for saying downton abbey again but i'm doing a rewatch with one of my friends. i'm gonna throw him into the edwardian era as some random gentleman cousin and he and lady edith are going to be poor, pitiful, unlucky-in-love besties who bond over all the ridiculously tragic shit that's happened to them and how they always get bullied or left out of things.

my favorite outfit they've ever worn: he technically only has one outfit (damn the bbc for putting the whole costuming budget into the georgian episode instead of the tudor one. /j), but i like the dressed down version where he's just in the white shirt and the breeches. he looks. very handsome. in that scene. ahem.

[jamespotterthefirst]

Where We Belong

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1,200 Warning: One curse word Premise: Waking up to her boyfriend making breakfast for her? What did she do to deserve him? Author’s Note: A little domestic fluff piece

The mouthwatering aroma of breakfast greets her warmly as she enters the kitchen that morning. Even more enticing than the promise of food is the sight of her shirtless boyfriend, laboring over the stove with a grace that is only earned with years of cooking and being good at it. Lilac's eyes settle on his back muscles, flexing and straining as he works.

“Mmm,” she hums in approval, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed casually over her chest. The movement sends his over-sized shirt drooping off her shoulder.

Ethan doesn't hear her over the sizzling pan, focused as he is on making her breakfast. His frame moves studiously around his kitchen, adding ingredients and ensuring the quality of the food. When she can no longer resist the tug in her chest, moving her to him like the pull of magnets, she wraps her arms around him from behind, pressing a tender kiss between his shoulder blades.

“Good morning,” he greets with a pleasant little laugh, the rumble of his baritone voice a comfort.

“Very good indeed,” she sighs contentedly. She peeks over his arm at the delectable contents of the pan. “Omelets? You're spoiling me, Ramsey. How did I get so lucky?”

Ethan leans down to lower the temperature on the stove before he swivels in her arms to face her. His smile is easy and deliciously ruinous, making him look much younger. “I'm the lucky one,” he tells her, the statement as irrefutable as the existence of the sun.

Lilac is moved, almost rendered breathless. Outwardly, she merely wrinkles her nose at him. “Who would have thought you'd be the sappy one out of the two of us?”

Ethan laughs in repose, the sound filling the kitchen like the warmth of a summer day. His arms circle tighter around her as he backs her against the counter, the movement slow and promising. Wordlessly, he leans down to kiss the tip of her nose. “What can I say? You bring out the best in me.”

There is an air of pure bliss rolling off him in waves as he holds her and it makes her stomach flip. The sheer joy of his demeanor is palpable and Lilac is certain it is reflected in her own expression.

Playfully, she says, “Hmm, I changed my mind about you. This is not the old, grumpy, sarcastic doctor I fell for.”

Ethan laughs, a full hearty laugh that she hopes to inspire forever.

With that roguish, life-ruining smirk still displayed on his face, he leans down toward her lips. He hovers a breath away, teasing her in the most unfair of ways. “You love me, Rookie.”

Lilac had found the courage to inform him of that fact only two weeks after they decided to date. Even though their relationship was still technically a secret from everyone else, they enjoyed reminding each other every chance they got. They would exchange a quiet “I love you” every morning before walking into Edenbrook. They would say it in emoji filled texts (emoji filled on her part) or rushed phone calls during breaks. They would even interchange the three words with a single glance as they passed each other in a corridor with such conviction that it left her as breathless as if he had shouted it for all to hear.

Their lips only a hair's breadth away, she whispers back. “Lucky for you, I do.”

Ethan brushes his lips against hers in a full, tender sweep. “It is lucky,” he returns just as quietly, moving his lips over hers. “Given how madly I love you.”

His lips are fully on hers now, pouring the truth of the three words into every delicious stroke. Soon, it evolves into a dangerous, hungry type of kiss that renders them both breathless. Lilac takes command of his full bottom lip, tugging and grazing until he is groaning low in his throat. Ethan's hands, meanwhile, scorch a trail down the curves and dips of her sides, inviting her to hook a bare leg around his hip.

They resurface for air, Ethan pressing his forehead to hers, her body secure in his strong arms. His fingers play lazily with the hem of his own t-shirt, hanging loosely around her form.

“I take it this is no longer my shirt since you insist on wearing it so much.”

“If you want it back so badly, then take it off.”

More endearing laughter. “You're impossible,” he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss on her exposed shoulder.

The pan behind him hisses insistently and with a sigh, he releases her. “You should go lay down,” he says as he resumes with the cooking. “Breakfast is almost ready. I can give it to you in bed.”

Lilac lifts a brow at the choice of words before breaking out into laughter. He joins her, not embarrassed in the slightest.

“You and your unintentional innuendos,” she says as she sobers up.

“Most of those were on purpose, you know,” he comments, his own laughter ebbing into an amused grin.

“I know,” she returns. “You're terrible at being discreet.”

Ethan rolls his eyes but the effect is ruined when he can't restrain a smile. “If you don't want to go back to bed then you can help me with the bacon.”

Lilac shakes her head. “That's a horrible idea,” she tells him. “Cooking bacon is the biggest challenge for me.”

He stops plating the omelets to give her an inquisitive look.

“I never know when it's ready,” she explains. “It looks under cooked for eternity and then before I know it, it's burnt. What?”

He looks at her, evidently struggling to stifle a laugh.

“You’re a doctor in a nationally ranked diagnostics team.”

“They don’t exactly cover cooking in medical school.”

Ethan is full on laughing by now. He looks unfairly entrancing doing so that she doesn't mind it's at her expense. He continues to tease her about her cooking shortcomings even as they sit down at the kitchen table to eat. Her poor attempts to glare at him only elicit more laughter.

They are soon interrupted by the ringing of his cellphone.

“June,” he explains when he glances at the screen. That catches Lilac by surprise.

“This better be important if you're bothering me on my one day off, Hirata,” he says as soon as he answers. “Of course they do… Fine… Yes, that works… She should be…” Ethan glances her way, which deepens her confusion.  “That makes the most sense, yes…” He hangs up the phone without so much as a goodbye. “The board wants us to consult with another potential patient in Beacon Hill,” he explains with a frustrated sigh and already getting to his feet. “Baz and June are already on their way to pick me up.”

Lilac’s eyes widen as she too rises from her seat. “Shit, Ethan. They can’t see me here. They’ll know.”

Ethan is unfazed, already clearing the table. “I know,” he tells her. “Although, you could argue they probably already know.”

“They almost certainly do but being found half-naked in your apartment is not exactly how I pictured us going public,” she says. “And I don’t mind Baz knowing but June…” she trails off meaningfully. Luckily, she doesn’t have to elaborate for Ethan to know for he nods.

He moves to the small entry table by the front door and retrieves his car keys from a small tray. The urgency in his movements sends an inexplicable thrill through her and she feels almost giddy.

“Once they get me, we’ll go get you. Which gives you–” he glances down at his watch, “–Twenty minutes to take my car and drive to your place. What? What’s so amusing?”

Lilac had given into laughter. “Nothing, just– The things we do to sleep together.”

Ethan smiles at that, moving closer to take her in his arms. Very tenderly, so tenderly she feels weightless, he presses a soft kiss to her forehead. “You’re worth it.”

____

Author’s Note: Am I the only one that constantly burns bacon?

Also, just wanted to say that I adore you all. I hope everyone is well. When the world feels like too much, I am always here to offer a listening ear.

____

Tags:  @openheart12​ | @ethandaddyramsey​ | @noboundariesplease​ | @silverlitskies​ | @infinitiestones | @flyawayboo​ | @paulfwesley​ | @hatescapsicum​ | @myusualnerdyself​ | @thatysn​ | @choicesyouplayandmore​ | @chasingrobbie​ | @trappedinfandoms​ | @togetherwearerapture​ | @nooruleman​ | @caseyvalentineramsey​ | @axwalker​ | @parkerattano​ | @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ | @kaavyaethanramsey​ | @edith-eggs1​ | @choices-lurker​ | @jens-diamondchoices​ | @tefigranger​ | @ethanrcmsey​ | @coffeebeandragon​ | @senator-adrian-raines-wifey​ | @aestheticartwriting​ | @longneckramsey | @binny1985​ | @mvalentine​ | @sanchita012​ | @drethanramslay​ | @ramseysno1rookie​ | @takeharryandgo​​ | @aworldoffandoms​ | @desmaranj​ | @ josieplayschoices | @magicalshepherdtreeprofessor​ | @oofchoices | @ethxnrxmsey​ | @octobereighth​ | @colossalpainintheass​ | @kopenheart12​ | @lilyvalentine​ | @dulceghernandez |  @lion-ess24 | @emotionalswift2 | @the-soot-sprite |

[wouldpollyapprove]

I’m Not Like Her

Summary: Y/n never thought she’d take a job as a barmaid, but she had to do what she had to do. Fleeing from a mob in Aberdeen, she was willing to do anything to live a peaceful life. And if that meant working for the Shelby’s then so be it. Life was normal until the mob decided to make an appearance in Birmingham, leading Tommy start to believe Y/n wasn’t exactly who she said she was.

Request: 17 from humor and 4 from misc? With tommy please 🥺❤️

Requested by @jenepleurepasbaby

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Language, alcohol, violence, angst 

A/N: This is barely edited b/c I have no paitence for that, but I really like how this turned out. Oh, and the cocktail I mentioned is from the 1920s but I’m not sure if it was popular in the UK or not. Anyway, I hope you guys like it and sorry for the angst, I couldn’t help myself.

Part Two

Masterlist

The noise filled the air, keeping people focused on what they were doing. It was too loud for anyone to notice much more than what was in front of them due to the alcohol in their system. It was always like that in the Garrison on a Friday night. Men clocked out of work, grabbed a girl, and headed for the pub. That’s how it always went.

Y/n had no time to think about anything but cocktail recipes as she filled orders. The men of Small Heath ordered everything straight out of the bottle. Whether it be whiskey, gin, or rum, it was always served either plain or on the rocks with a splash of water. It all came down to how much they wanted to stumble when they walked out of the door. The woman that tagged along were the ones that wanted to drink something fancy. They wanted to be more than some dirt poor girl from the wrong side of town. A lady in a countryside manor or a duchess in a French Château is what they wanted to be.

And that is what Y/n tried her best to do, give them a piece of a reality that would never be theirs.

She was too busy filling orders to notice the men that had entered the bar. Their appearance was almost identical to that of the Peaky Blinders that frequented the streets. They all wore neatly pressed suits, bulky overcoats covering their suit. No suspicion would have been drawn if it weren’t for the hats that sat upon their heads. 

Handing over the fifth Sidecar she’d made in the last fifteen minutes, Y/n wiped her hands off on her apron. “Good Lord, is it ever gonna slow down?” 

Edith shook her head from beside her. “I fuckin’ wish. I’m sick of this Irish beer Arthur ordered. Everyones to pissed to realize it’s shit.”

Y/n chuckled, “That they are.” Her eyes wandered around the packed bar, landing in bursts on the drunks that stumbled around. Just as she was about to turn back to her work, her eyes landed on three well-dressed men at the door. All the blood drained from her face, turning it ash white. The tammies they wore picking them out of the crowd

“Are you alright?” Edith asked, turning from pouring another glass of whiskey on the rocks. 

Her coworker nodded, before glancing at the clock on the wall above them. “Yeah, yeah, I’m alright. I’m off in five-” Mary passed behind her, on time for her shift for once. “-and Mary’s here so I think I’m going to head home.”

She wasn’t given a second glance as she stripped her apron off and fetched her coat from the back room. Eyes followed her like a hawk until she reached the door. Y/n didn’t bother to look at the three men that stood in front of the door, she shoved past them, knowing they wouldn’t make a scene. 

With the door to the Shelby’s private room open, Tommy kept his eye trained on the men while he kept up with the conversation he was having with Michael. The grip on his glass tightened when Y/n appeared and shoved passed two of them. He would have thought that by the time Y/n got off the men would have ordered a drink and found a table, but the stood near the door like statues. Only moved, turning on their heels, when Y/n shoved them out of her way and followed a few feet behind her. 

It was odd. Everything about it was odd. The men that had entered the bar ten minutes before were odd. Tommy could have sworn he’d seen the men once before. London came to mind when he thought of them and how they’d dressed. But no one in London would be caught dead dressing like that. And the man found it odd how Y/n shoved passed them, something he knew she would never do.

Tommy and Y/n had an interesting relationship.

Tommy was in love with her, there was no way he could deny it. He could ignore it, though. After what happened with Grace two years before, he wasn’t sure he was ready to wear his heart on his sleeve. Every once and a while, a sharp pain would overtake his heart and make him remember why he was afraid to love so openly again. He tried though. He tried to do as much as he could for her with what he had. Tommy did his best to protect and behind closed doors, he showed her his heart.

But that could never be aired out in the open.

Thomas Shelby couldn’t have people seeing him weak over a woman. He couldn’t be seen once more being destroyed by the touched of a woman who’d betrayed him.

Y/n was much different than her lover. She was as loyal as they came and would never betray him, not when he owned her heart. Not one to love as few had ever shown her such a thing, she had no problem giving Tommy the love he deserved. She didn’t care about the blood on his hands or the damage caused by the war. She saw past his outward appearance and his tough exterior, loving who he was before and after damage had been done to his heart and soul.

Though he was concerned, there was business to be done and it couldn’t wait. No longer a believer, Tommy prayed to God that he wasn’t making a mistake for not following after her.

Stepping out onto the dirt-covered cobblestones, the cold air bit at her exposed skin as Y/n waited for the men to exit behind her. She turned when the door creaked open, more light pouring out onto the street.

The tallest of the three linked his arm with her’s, dragging her down the street, her protests drowned out by the sound of the other men lighting their cigars. Once he believed them to be far enough from prying eyes, in front of a factory that was closed for the night, he stopped and swung the girl in front of him. “Didn’t think I’d fin ya, did ya?”

“You fuckin’ bastard,” Y/n spat, pulling her arm out of his grasp. “What the fuck are you doing here, Roger?”

It had been ages since the two had last seen each other, parting onto a hill that overlooked Aberdeen, blood and tears on both their faces. They’d shared some good times, getting into all the trouble they could. They ran from the law in Edinburgh, jumping a train with a bottle of whiskey in their bag. Y/n stayed by his side when his father put him in charge of his family’s company and she watched him turn into a hungry monster, out for money and blood.

A laugh vibrated his chest, he leaned forward, moving a piece of curly hair out of her face. How he’d missed those curls of her’s. “I’ve come to ask for your help, love.”

Swatting his hand away from her face, she pushed him away, wishing to create distance between them. The men beside him, supposed to be his body guards, did nothing, believing she held no power. She rolled her eyes at their dismissals, Ed and Jim had never been very good at keeping their boss out of danger. “No fucking way will I ever help you.”

“Ya used to help with everything. There was nothin’ ya wouldn’t do fer me.”

“That was before you killed Charlie-” Y/n folded her arms across her chest, wrapping her coat around her tighter. “He was my friend, Roger.”

The man rolled his eyes. He never cared about what he had to do to keep his business running. “He was taking you from me.”

“Your brutish behavior was taking me away from you. Don’t confuse the two.” Y/n reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She waltzed around the men as she dug around for a lighter, knowing the men in front of her weren’t gentlemen and would never offer over their lighters. 

Before she could get her cigarette lite, a crash from the alley across from them caught everyone’s attention. Roger, Ed, and Jim reached under their coats for their weapons. Y/n turned to see a couple of Peaky boys walk out of the alley. She’d seen them before, they normally helped in the betting shop and had accompanied their boss to London a time or two. “Roger, don’t shoot them,” she demanded, trying to step in his way. 

The Peaky Blinders drew their own weapons, ready to fire if they had to. 

Y/n rolled her eyes. Why were men the way they were? Instead of staying and watching blood spill, she turned her back to the group of men. “Don’t do anything too stupid, Roger. No one here will save you arse,” she warned him, walking into the darkness of Small Heath.

*~~*~~*

The two Peaky Blinders that escaped unscathed from their encounter with Roger Flint, which was a relief. One of the men knew exactly who Roger was as he came from Scotland. He also knew how rare it was for Roger to let someone live in a firefight. 

With ragged breaths, the two men rushed into the Garrison and wasted no time to find Tommy. Their boss was still where he was when Y/n had left, leaning in his chair, cigarette between his lips and glass of whiskey in his hand. 

The Shelby’s all turned when Ricky entered the private room panting like a dog. “What the fuck happened to you?” John asked, a little laugh ending his sentence. 

“W-we were out… out by the factory,” he started, clutching his side. “And Roger Flint was out there with some of his men.”

“Y/n was there with ‘em,” the man beside him added.

The mention of her name forced Tommy to his feet, his glass shattered to the floor. “Was she hurt?”

Ricky shook his head. “No, no-” He took a deep breath, trying to expand his lungs. “She seemed to know him. Personally.”

Was that worse than being caught with a copper? The mobster hadn’t the faintest clue, but he didn’t like the sound of it. “Where is she now?”

The two men exchanged glances, surprised that they hadn’t been chewed out for leaving her. “Don know. She left, I think she went home.”

Dragging his hand over his face, Tommy sat back down. How did Y/n know Roger Flint? That wasn’t a man anyone knew casually. A sigh escaped his lips as he took Arthur’s drink. The alcohol burned his throat as he emptied the glass. He thought Y/n was nothing but honest with him, but that was clearly a lie. 

So there Tommy sat, his family exchanging worried glances from around the room, while all his fears washed over him like a raging river.

*~~*~~*

Y/n slept like a baby, Roger easily faded from her memory as she slept. He was never much to remember. The man was nothing but an overgrown baby trying to make a name for himself as a mobster. It was pathetic. All that went through her mind as she dressed for work was the amount of glasses she’d have to clean off of tables and the shattered glass that would need to be swept off the floor. 

As she did every morning, Y/n stopped by the small cafe around the corner from her house. She was never one for cooking and her kitchen didn’t permit more than a sandwich to be made. It always seemed to bring her joy, stopping in to get a scone, and chatting with the owner. It was the start she needed for what she knew would be a long day.

Once she was feed, Y/n wasted no time walking to work. Dodging children, who ran through the street like monkeys, and women gossiping as they headed to the market, she finally arrived at the doors of the Garrison. Fetching the key out of her purse, she dropped it back in when she found the door unlocked.

The Shelbys had obviously arrived before her.

A smile tugged at her lips upon entering the pub, memories from the night before playing in her mind. Though the place was a mess, she was happy to be at work then to be helping Roger. Anything was better than being in the same room as him. Her smile faltered when she caught a glimpse of Tommy behind the bar. His muscles were tight and there was fire in his eyes. He looked up at her and all Y/n could see was boiling anger. 

She did her best to send him a smile as she tugged off her coat, placing it on the bar. “Good morning, love.”

His knuckles turned white against the bottle of whiskey he’d grabbed off the shelf. “Don’t bother, Y/n,” he growled. 

The smile dropped to the floor along with her eyes. Roger clearly hadn’t killed the Blinders, damn. It would have been much easier to pretend that her time with the Scottish mobster never happened then to ever have to explain it to the man she loved. “What’s wrong, Tommy?” she asked, deciding it would be easier to play dumb. 

It was a long shot, but there was a chance she could get the man to believe her word over that of his men.

Tommy shot her a dangerous look. A warning that stated he wouldn’t believe a thing she said. “Who were you with after work last night?”

“No one.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not,” she snapped. 

There was a pause, making Y/n nervous, as Tommy opened the bottle of whiskey and poured it into the glass in front of him. The pub was silent while he sipped at it before he placed it back on the bar. “Let’s not play this game. I know a liar when I see one, Y/n, because I’m a liar.”

Y/n rolled her eyes at his words. “What do you want me to say? That I was with someone that wasn’t you?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/n. Flint is the fucking enemy! And there you were waltzing’ around with him! How fuckin’ loyal!” he yelled and in a fit of rage grabbed his glass and threw it at the wall beside him. “I thought you were better than her, turns out you’re the same type of snake.”

His words burned against Y/n’s ear, causing her heart to shrivel up in pain. “Bite me,” she seethed. Before any more damage could be done, she reached for her coat and ran out the door., shouting, “I quiet,” on her way out.

How fucking stupid could she be, thinking she outrun away from Roger? He would always come back to haunt her. 

The door slammed behind her and once her feet hit cobblestone, she ran like a freight train, dropping her coat as she gained speed. She needed to create as much distance between her and Thomas Shelby as she could. God, she hoped to never see his face again.

Running along the streets of Small Heath, people shot her confused looks and moved out of her way as they saw nothing would stop her. Y/n ran, one foot in front of the other until her legs gave way and she tumbled to the ground. She pushed herself off the ground, sobs racked her body as she wandered into an alley, sliding down the wall of the brick building beside her.

“I’m not like her,” she muttered to herself between sobs. “I’m not like her.”

What Tommy didn’t know, was Roger was a no one to her. He had been nothing for a long time and she never planned on allowing him back in her life, not after all the pain he caused. But it was too late to explain that now. She had been labeled a traitor and there was no way to scrub that off.

The words tattooed across her forehead and the pain in her heart were nothing compared to the pain she felt for hurting Tommy as she did. He trusted her and, slowly, he was starting to recover from what Grace had done to him only for it to happen once more.

It killed her to think that she had done then one thing she swore to never do.

*~~*~~*

Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist.

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[teawiththegods]

Hello ! While I know witchtok is not the best for information, sometimes things pop up in my feed, particularly about worshipping the old gods.

In most of them they say that doing so is very dangerous and that you shouldn't do it if you don't know protection magic pretty well.

And it kind of makes me confused as I thought that practicing witchcraft wasn't a must for worshipping the gods, and that it wasn't much dangerous that worshipping the monotheist gods of today (like the christian god), unless you did something really bad.

So I was hoping to hear your thoughts about it.

Anyway I hope you have a great day and I love you ❤

Witchtok is not the best for information. I fixed it for you! lol! Honestly the best thing to do is to not take anything on witchtok seriously. They either have no idea what they’re doing over there OR they know precisely what they are doing and it’s all for the clout. 

But for the sake of education, I will go beyond the “witchtok is garbage” reasoning and provide a better explanation. Firstly you are correct that you do not need to practice magic in order to worship the gods. Actually there are plenty of Hellenic Polytheists who see magic as inherently hubristic and others who are just like “eh, not my thing” and they all get on just fine with their gods. 

As for the whole “it’s dangerous” bs, @hekateanwitchcraft made the best point that I will forever be using when this discussion comes up. Entire civilizations, that included children, worshiped the gods without issue but now all of a sudden these gods are dangerous?? Sounds like some people were just reading Edith Hamilton’s Mythology and nothing else. Or they just want to gatekeep.

I also want to point out the idea that the “old gods” are dangerous really stems from the belief that pre-Christian civilizations were barbaric, immoral, and in desperate need of Jesus to save their poor sinful souls. Though the Bible is full of stories where God isn’t behaving much differently than the gods in mythology.  People on witchtok don’t even realize how much Christian propaganda they are spreading not to mention all the misogynistic bullshit they keep perpetuating. 

[laverna-fanfictions]

Dark Times Chapter Two/ a Thomas Shelby Fanfiction

Well thank you for the 14 notes! I literally didn’t expect that, since I wasn’t really expecting a person to read my story. So, I wrote a second one, this time its a bit longer than the first one. I hope you will enjoy it, I had fun while writing it and can’t wait for writing a *uhm* smut chapter after this one! I seriously don’t know which parts are triggering, not that i’ve seen, so please tell me if anything bothers you so i can put that in the warning section! Hope you enjoy!!!!!

Warnings: Language

Words Count: 1274

 She watched the empty ceiling all night long. She wanted to sleep, but there was something that occupied her mind. She was worried about Tommy, who seemed drinking more than usual and only slept one or two hours a day. He was dear to her, someone special. She never wanted him to be sad or, well, depressed.

That thought kept her eyes open all night long. The thought of Thomas being depressed. He had the right; she knew it deep inside. He had the right to be angry or sad. It had not been that long ago that he had lost Grace. He was alone with his kid Charlie, whom he didn’t know what to do. He was a great father, a father Vera always wanted to have. Instead she got herself a stinky drunk piece of shit who called himself a “lawyer”. But she knew that he hadn’t been a great one since she was at least eight years old. He was the reason why Vera and her mom moved to Birmingham from London. After that glorious life they had, her mother couldn’t bare the thought of being poor and at a night when she was seriously drunk and depressed, she shot herself in the head.

That’s how Ada and Vera met, along came the boys. They watched Vera; they took care of Vera. Polly raised her as if she was her own kid. After that she became an honorary Shelby. No one dared to look at her side, just like Polly, every guy in town was afraid of her. They obeyed her, she was one of the few who could walk on the streets at night, all alone.

Vera turned on her right side, watch the dark night through her large window. Well, Tommy’s window. She was staying at his house, just as she promised. But she felt more alone than she was at her own house. Thomas stayed at his office all day long, she only saw him during dinner. Those moments she cherished because they were chatting just like when they were kids. Laughing, drinking, and dancing. But then he would go back to his office, leaving her alone again. Her huge exhale echoed in her huge room.

She got up from her bed, put on her robe and started walking to the big kitchen. She needed water and something to eat because she couldn’t sleep. She turned the lights on, got herself a big glass of water and sat on the counter. She was humming a song, looking around and thinking to herself. But her song got interrupted by that velvety voice.

“You are singing Edith Piaf.”

Vera glanced at him, tried to hold her grin. “Yeah. I am.” he walked slowly, got himself a new bottle of whiskey and poured a glass. “Why are you awake, Vera?” she shrugged. She wanted to say why but there was something off about him, he seemed truly disturbed. Thomas looked at her from his shoulder, then poured a glass for her too. “Don’t look at me like that, love.” her breathing got faster, and she did not know why. She was nervous. He got close to her, brushed his fingers to her cheeks. “Like what?” she asked, but her voice turned out weaker than she intended it to be.

“Like you are worrying about me.”

“I am worried about you.”

He grinned; it was that famous one. The smile that made every woman faint. The smile when he used to manipulate things. “You shouldn’t.” he took a sip and continued. “Because there is nothing to be worried about.” stop lying Tommy. He caressed her, made her purr like a kitten. “I like it how sometimes you act all tamed, Vera. You make it seem you really are calm, but in fact you are just playing with me.” his comment made her giggle. He knew her too well. “Well, maybe…” she stopped, got down from the counter. “Maybe you should quit all ‘don’t worry’ act and tell me the truth, and then I will stop playing with you.”

“I am okay Vera. My problems should not matter to you.”

“But they do Tommy. You matter to me.”

He sighed and grabbed her by her chin. His face was too close for her to breath properly. “I got everything covered.” his soft breath brushed pass her face, his lips were almost on top of hers. “What is it? What is so important to you that you won’t even tell me?” he put his free hand on her waist, pulling her closer to his body. “Just get yourself a party dress. We are going to have a dinner party here in two days. Mosley is coming.” then he let go of her, leaving without saying anything else.

“Fuck you Tommy.”

She breathed angrily, went back to her room, and laid on her bed. He made her all frustrated again, but it was his signature move on her. He always teased and annoyed her, then he would leave and say nothing else. She put her pillow on her head, pressed it, and sighed loudly. Now how was she going to sleep?

After the morning light disturbed her, she finally woke up. The early hours probably had passed because she felt like she overslept her time. She immediately got dressed and went downstairs, Tommy’s housekeeper probably had breakfast ready for her. But the moment she got down; she met the whole clan.

“Oh, wow the princess woke up!”

Arthur exclaimed; his voice made everybody turn their faces to Vera. They looked amused by the situation, they all loved to annoy Vera. “Fuck you. Give me a break.” she mumbled, poured herself a hot tea and sat down at the table. “What were you talking about?” “The party.” Polly answered quickly. Vera nodded, tried not to show her annoyance from last night. Her eyes were on Tommy, but his eyes were on Vera too. He was looking at her as if she were a ticking bomb, watching her carefully. But she did not react, simply continued to drink her tea.

“What’s the plan?”

“It’s simple. We have to eliminate his guards first, while Vera took him to the bedroom.”

Vera tried not to sigh. She hated the fact that she had to kiss him and play with him, just the sight of him alone made her want to puke all over. But she had to do it, for the sake of her family. For Thomas. She loved him, more than she was supposed to. He always acted flirtatious towards her, but she knew the truth, that’s what she did to all women around him. Even the close ones. She was a stupid who fell in love with him from the very beginning.

“All right, but how the fuck are we gonna get ready in two fucking days, Thomas?” Michael asked, a bit aggressive for Vera’s taste because she knew Thomas did not respond well to aggressiveness. And, just like Vera guessed, Thomas looked at him as if he crossed a line. He did not answer, turned his looks to Polly. “You and Vera should get ready. She will be the one who weakens him for us to kill.” Polly nodded, held Vera’s hand. They all knew Vera could do that. It wouldn’t be first that she hurt someone, but she had never killed before. That was where they drew the line. It was Thomas who was going to kill that fucker.

After they all were all gone, Thomas shifted seats to Vera’s side and caressed her cheeks. “You know, I would never let anything happen to you.” she raised an eyebrow, confused. “Yes, Tommy. I know.” he smiled at her, put a little kiss on her temple. “I won’t be able to get over it, Vera. If something happens with you and Moseley, I won’t survive it. I can’t go through that twice.” she held his face between her palms, looked at him in the eyes and smiled genuinely. “Nothing will happen. You know that. He can’t do anything to me, not if I won’t allow it.” he kissed her again, brushed her hair and stood up without saying anything, leaving Vera alone at the room.

[honourablejester]

*cackles* Aww. Okay.

There’s a lady on youtube that I’ve been watching for the last couple of days named Ginny Di. She has a series of D&D roleplay exercise videos, where she plays various NPCs in various scenes, and the idea is you answer as your character. There’s one where you’re being treated by a healer, one where you’re being interviewed for a bodyguard position by a shady tiefling, talked at by a bored prison guard, etc … and one where a matchmaker, a priestess of Sune, is interviewing your character with the hopes of finding them a romance.

This is the absolute best, and the video is hilarious, so I wanted to try it. I was going to maybe try Hieronymus, or Naheel, but then I had a lovely, absolutely evil thought.

I could do it with Imsh. My poor bewildered orc cleric of Yondalla. I figure it wouldn’t be a stretch at all if one of his new halfling tribe wanted to help the poor guy out a bit and bullied persuaded him into it. With only his best interests at heart, of course. Heh.

He spent the entire interview absolutely petrified. Believe me when I say these were not questions he had ever considered before:

Imsh the Soft (cleric of Yondalla) answering Edith the Matchmaker (priestess of Sune):

Now tell me the name of the ravishing creature standing before me?

(after a long, confused second) Uh. Imsh. Imsh the Soft?

How old are you?

(thinks about it) Fine for warrior. Young for mother or priest?

Do you have a preference with regards to gender?

(thinks about that, slightly alarmed) Did not think before. Maybe … no? Thought about women. Mothers. But … don’t know?

Any objection to fangs, horns, wings, or tails? 

(more alarmed) Uh. Do not think so?

Have you had a relationship before? How recent are we talking?

(shakes head rapidly) Have helped with whelping mothers, but not give good whelps myself. Too weak. No one would want Imsh.

And do you sleep in pajamas, or in the nude?

Uh. Clothes. People get strange if not. Do not want to frighten.

What would you say is your type? What do you find attractive about a person? 

(a very long pause) … Strong. And soft. Can have both now. Found this out. Would like both.

Describe your perfect date. What would you wanna do? Where would you wanna go?

Uh. (panicky) Did not think. Don’t know? Maybe … maybe pretty place? Good shelter. Safe place. Uh. Give gift? Court gift. Good bone or tooth. Uh. Talk? Make place safe and talk?

Are you ready to settle down, raise a family? Or are you looking for something a little more casual?

(long silence) Would like whelps. My whelps. Would raise well, with new tribe. But always whelps to help. Whelps with no mother, can help those. Question is different. Don’t know. Can try many things? Find out.

Are you okay with long distance, or would you expect your partner to come with you?

Imsh go to partner. Especially if mother. Can travel and come back. Can come if want?

What about dealbreakers? Annoying habits, religious affiliations, pets? Anything you absolutely would not stand for?

Cannot hurt whelps. Or tribe. Will kill if do that. Will not … Will not want a priest of Shargaas. Gods like that. Gods that lie, and cull the weak. Do not want followers of those.

(For the following questions, to quote Edith, ‘if you haven’t dated extensively before, just think about your relationships in general. So, friendships, family, we can learn a lot from how you relate to people’.)

Are you usually the pursuer, or the pursued? Are you the one that breaks up, or the one that gets broken up with?

Uh. Do not pursue. Not good hunter. Will leave when approval fades. When hurt more than help. Will leave then.

Tell me, what went wrong in your last relationship? Do you take any responsibility there?

With Luthic. Goddess. And tribe. Was too weak. Made tribe weak. Hurt more than helped. Was not what mothers or Bear Mother needed.

Do you have a “one that got away”? Somebody you still think about a lot?

(blank face) Um. Don’t think so. Halfling goddess? But did not go away. Gave power. Healing. Very shiny. Promised to help her. Think about much, but did not go away.

(Now let’s talk about you (Imsh))

What kind of baggage are you carrying with you, what do you need to work on? Trust issues, abandonment issues?

(long pause) Cannot promise … will know what need. Learning. Slow. Always slow. Do not want to hurt. Maybe … not be hurt also? Too weak. Know that. But. Do not want.

If someone dates you, who are they really dating? Your party? Your patron? Someone else?

… Will choose goddess first. Yondalla. Promised to help her. Her tribe. Must keep promise.

How do you show someone you love them? And how do you want somebody to show they love you? Gifts, physical touch? Romantic words?

(panicky) Uh. Do not know. Not hurt? Help. Take blows. Fix. Fix wounds. Um. Give presents? Soft touch. Uh. Stop enemies? Protect. Always protect. Not help, sometimes. Make weak. Not wanted. But want to protect. Would maybe … like to be protected? (covers face in hands)

Do you have any powerful enemies who might want to use your partner as a way to get to you? 

… Shargaas, maybe. Gruumsh. Not like halfling goddess, not like that Imsh help her. Uh. Old tribe. Not mothers. Mothers let own weakness kill. But warriors could try to hurt or kill.

(Now let’s talk about sexual compatibility, it’s important)

Would you describe yourself as adventurous?

(more panic) … Not. Not much so. Cautious. Weak.  

Have your previous partners described you as good in bed? 

(petrified) Uh. No. No partners. No.

...and should we believe them?

(blank incomprehension)

Any weird kinks I should know about? Shapeshifting, necromancy?

(absolutely freaking out) NO!? No dead things. No.

---

I suspect dating is going to be a very difficult prospect for Imsh. Heh.

[drethanramslay]

Voicemails (Part 2)

Pairing: Ethan X MC

Word count: 6.3K words (damn that's a record)

Catch up here.

MASTERLIST

Taglist: @miyakokurono​ @trappedinfandoms​ @openheart12​ @sekizincimektup​ @junggoku​ @ethandaddyramsey​ @edith-eggs1​ @pixelberryownsme​ @samihatuli​ @loveellamae​ @x-kyne-x​ @paulfwesley​ @zeniamiii​ @binny1985​ @an-urban-witch-ig​ @ramseyegerton​ @noboundariesplease​ @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey​ @newcolonies​ @theodorepjames4 @unluckygs​ @choices-love-affair​ @kaavyaethanramsey​  @caseyvalentineramsey​ @ohramsey​ @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq​  @junehiratas​ @lilyvalentine​ @nooruleman​ @itsgoingnuts​  @agent-breakdance​ @jamespotterthefirst​ @choicesfanaf​ @humanpokemon​ @temptress-of-death-and-desire​ @ac27dj @rookiefromedenbrook @gaiusimp @theeccentricbibliophile  @oofchoices @hatescapsicum @sanchita012 @edgiestwinter @fabi-en-ciel @mrsdrakewalkerblog @elwetritsche75 @livingpurpose @theraisingrail @drramseysownsme @queencarb​ @andromedasinclaire​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ (if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know ☺️)

Special thanks to @kittykatchoices​ you are awesome <3

Songs: Based on Rock Bottom by Caro and I have added a few more songs to my playlist which you should hear to enhance the experience.

Forgive me if I make any mistakes

DAY 36 (in Boston, Massachusetts)

Leah trudged down the hallway, sipping on her umpteenth energy drink in that day. Her eyes were trained on the chart in her hand, struggling to read them.

Everything looked bleary from the lack of sleep and her eyes were burning under the glare of the clinical lights. Her entire body was begging for rest but it was as if a switch had been flipped in her brain to ignore it. She ignored her thoughts, her feelings and the ever growing void in her chest.

So is this is how vampires feel, huh? Leah questioned herself, snorting at the poor attempt of a joke. Doing that caused her body to pain.

Pain.

That's all she felt these days. It was initially the pain of a heartbreak and rejection but now, it was just tiredness from the burden of her emotions.

Look at me now... From sunshine I have become a shadow...

Why Ethan?

Why?

Leah was the kind of person who always made fun of the naive girl in a rom-com. Her definition and perspective of love had changed when her mother cheated on her father. She did not shun the idea of being in love, but she was still kind of sceptical about it.

And now that she had a taste of it, she was addicted.

She knew that Ethan returned her feelings. She was not blind and oblivious like him. She could see it in his ocean eyes when they stared from across the room. She could hear it whenever he called her 'sunshine'. She could feel it when his arms wrapped around her as she breathed in his musky cologne, with hints of scotch in it.

They say love is a drug but that's not true.

Ethan is her drug and she craved him.

"Hijo de puta." She muttered under her breathe as she ran her hand through her hair, only to feel her shoulder length locks.

She had cut her hair after her birthday. The entire ordeal had destroyed the remaining sanity in her and she couldn't bear to look at herself. Whenever she would see her long hair, she would be reminded of the times when Ethan would play with them and she would get numb all over again.

She craved change so, she went ahead and cut her luscious, black, waist length locks and added highlights to them. It cost her a bomb but she didn't care.

She didn't care...

That was her mantra now.

She just focused on going through the motions of the day, one step at a time. But often, she found herself stumbling into the pit of self doubt and sadness. Leah knew that she was slipping into depression and that she should do something to change it but... It's addicting. The self wallowing is addicting. The numbness is addicting. The self depreciation is addicting.

She avoided her friends as well but they never gave up on her. Bryce would try to crack jokes and make her smile. Elijah would sit with her and play COD so that she could let out all her anger and sadness by killing some bitches. Aurora and Sienna would force her to eat but whenever they weren't looking, she would give her food to Shawty, their fennec fox. They even tried to provide her emotional support but Leah couldn't bear to see the pity in their eyes.

You should count your blessings... Her consciousness nudged her.

The only thing I want to count are the days until I see him.

She felt her phone vibrate and she unlocked it to see the notification but, the photo on her wallpaper made her stop. It made her heart ache.

She had used Ethan's photo as her lock screen. It was one of those many photos she had clicked of him, which Ethan did not find amusing. It was late and she was bored at the medical convention, so she just clicked them for the heck of it. He was annoyed but despite that, he had a small smile dancing on the edge of his lips.

Who would have thought the great Leah would drop down to such low levels of pathetic? She jeered at herself.

Her phone rang again and a name flashed on it. She immediately silenced because she knew that if she were to pick up that call, she would burst into tears.

She had just finished signing her charts when her pager beeped of, signalling that she was being paged by the Chief.

Leah's face scrunched up with confusion as she left the charts at the nurses' station and headed to Dr. Banerji's office.

What did I do wrong? Leah thought to herself as million of thoughts ran through her head, increasing the pounding in her head.

Trying to calm her racing heart she knocked on the open door. Naveen looked up from his desk and a beautiful smile broke on the senior diagnostician's face.

"Ah! Dr. Garcia, come on in. Take a seat." Naveen said with a warm voice as she walked in and took a seat right opposite him. There was a glass facade behind Naveen which overlooked the busy atrium of the hospital.

"You wanted to see me Chief?"

"Yes I did."

"May I know what is it regarding? Because I think that my heart will pop out of my chest with the excessive stress."

Naveen gave a hearty laugh and Leah gave a nervous smile to him.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. In fact, I am giving you a couple of days of holiday for your hard work."

Leah shook her head and gave a fake smile. "Thank you Chief but... I don't need an off. I love my job and saving lives so no need for this special treatment."

Naveen leaned forward on his table and locked his warm eyes with Leah's tired ones. "You deserve it. It's been brought to my notice, that you have been working way too hard."

Leah sat a little bit more rigid, not liking the message behind the sentence. "Isn't that a good thing? And isn't that what Edenbrook wants from their doctors?"

"Technically yes... But we also want our doctors to not burn out."

She clenched her jaw before speaking. "Chief, I am perfectly fine. I am not burnt out and I have been very proactive. My patients are all stable and breathing, I have been even helping with the ER more, so how is all of that an indicative of me burning out?"

"Leah... I see you as my grand-mentee and I know you well. I am coming from a position of concern for you. I can't have you being sleep deprived and malnutritioned. It's not good for you."

Leah's eyes narrowed. "How do you know I'm malnutritioned? You haven't even seen me since the last three weeks. And don't say that my friend's put forth this concern because I know that I have done a damn good job convincing them that I am okay."

Naveen just gave a sympathetic look and it clicked.

Letting out sharp breath, she looked down and straightened her pencil skirt, trying to distract herself from the gnawing pain and the influx of hope.

"He called you... Didn't he?"

Naveen gravely nodded his head. "Yes he did. Leah... Please take the next four days off. It's an order."

Leah nodded her head and got up, stuffing her hands into her coat, so that she could hide her trembling hands.

"Yes Chief."

She was about to walk out when Naveen called out to her. "Leah... If it's any consolation, he is in a terrible state and misses you too much."

"No... that is no consolation." She said steely, her eyes becoming cold.

"Leah, just trust me. Ethan has had a tough childhood which has forced him to grow up too soon. He has never been a normal kid let alone a normal teenager. When kids his age were chasing love, he was chasing books. That's why he is a walking robot with no sense of emotions.

Leah, since you came into his life, you have woken up the parts of him which he has kept suppressed. You have forced him to stop and feel. And it's been overwhelming for him. So, just be patient with him."

Leah didn't say anything. She just turned on her heels and strode out of the office.

As she walked to the locker room, she clenched her fists. She was totally pissed and the need to punch something was becoming unbearable.

How fucking dare he just control my life?!

She changed out of her clothes and stuffed them angrily into her satchel. She picked up her phone and saw a notification.

(1) message Captain

She read the message and she felt a little happy. She loved her dad and since the entire shit show had started, she missed her family even more.

Speaking of shit show...

He eyes narrowed in on Ethan's contact and the momentary happiness was dissipated, and anger flooded her body. Her shoulders tensed and she clenched the phone even tighter. She pressed on the call icon near his name and picked up the phone to her ear so that she could give him the cursing of his life.

After ringing a couple of time she heard his baritone voice flood through the speaker.

You have reached Dr. Ramsey. I am currently out of the country. If it's urgent, please leave a message.

"Ethan Jonah Ramsey! You are a maldito (damned male)! For a man, you are one maricon (pussy) and I swear as the days pass by I am more convinced that you are a bastardo sin huevos (ball-less bastard)!!

How fuckin dare you, you asshole?! I fucking know that you called Naveen to tell him to give me an off. I don't know weather to dance with joy that you heard my voicemails or to kick you in your balls for not responding.

You need to man the fuck up Ethan because I know that you are so fucking strong. I know it so well."

She panted, anger swirling even more in her chest.

"Ethan you need to stop playing the fucking victim. I know that you have had a tough childhood and that really hurt you... But I didn't have it any easier either. I was bullied through out school and my mom used to pimp the fuck outta me. She even cheated on my dad for five consecutive years till I kicked her out of the house."

Tears stung her eyes as she spoke. "But that did not once break my spirit E. I didn't let the damage of my past define me. I focused on redefining myself and I got rid of my bad habits like smoking weed and drinking every alternate day."

"We all got scars and I know that it hurts sometimes. I am not discounting your pain but, if you continue to let it eat you up baby then you will lose yourself to it. And I don't want that for you.

Ethan... You are such a beautiful soul and such a great man who is deserving of the best things in life. You deserve love and happiness. The only thing which is standing between you and all the good things is... Well you.

Stop punishing yourself. Because that is not only going to hurt you, but also the people around you.

You have been so deep in that vicious cycle that you haven't realised that you are hurting me too..."

She sighed as she looked down on her black converse.

"Ethan, emotions are what make us human... You can't run from them forever.

What we have, is so so beautiful... Just come back to me so that I can show you that... Till then, take care, love you and bye..."

DAY 36 (in Tefé, Amazonas)

"Till the take care, love you and bye..."

You have reached the end of the voicemail.

Ethan brought his phone down, guilt and shame swimming in his blue eyes. He knew that it was a dick move to call her superior and get her to take an off but he couldn't bare to see her get weaker and weaker as the days passed.

And the fact that I am the reason behind her sadness...

Ethan pressed his palms against his eyes and applied pressure so as to push back the tears threatening to spill.

He felt so much shame. It coiled around his chest, slowly tightening, choking him.

He didn't deserve her love and he definitely did not deserve her empathy. He did not deserve her kindness nor did he deserve the compassion that she showered his way. She did not deserve to be treated like a doormat or be fucked over by the mixed signals. If he truly loved her he would leave her behind and move on with his life.

But he is selfish.

He couldn't bear the thought of seeing her in the arms of another man. The thought made him want to punch the closest thing to him. He looked down to stare at the wallpaper of his lockscreen.

It was one of the many impromptu pictures he had clicked of her. Most of the ones he had were when she wasn't looking his way but this one, was one of the rare ones where she stared at the camera. A beautiful dimpled smile stared back at him, her hair covering half of her face.

God, she is beautiful with a divine soul.

I don't deserve her... But I want to be hers...

He took the stationery out and with a heavy heart, proceeded to pour out all his regret and shame on to the coffee stained paper.

DAY 45

After numerous sleepless nights Ethan knew that if he didn't sleep, he would surely collapse.

So bidding his colleagues adieu, he went to the motorcycle parked in the makeshift parking lot.

He had recently learnt how to drive a bike and now he somewhat related to those motorbike junkies.

It was an exhilarating experience. The breeze whistling through his brown wavy hair, the feeling of the sun shining on his face and to hear the roar of Amazon as he rode down the roads was intoxicating.

He felt the most at peace when he rode the bike. The hum of the engine beneath him would lull him into a state of calmness and it's only during those times, his mind would wander to Leah.

He would often think about how much Leah would enjoy pillion riding. He could imagine her having this wide grin on her face and her arms wrapped around his lean waist. He could imagine her hair billowing behind her in wild waves and the sun would make her skin glow with a caramel hue. She would giggle as the wind tickling her face.

These thoughts were what kept him sane, and gave him something to look forward too. He knew that it was ironic but he just couldn't help himself.

It had been a month since he had last seen her and he missed her so much.

The sun had set and Ethan parked his bike near the B&B he was living in. After taking out the keys from the ignition, he climbed the steps leading to the reception. He gave a nod to the receptionist and trudged to his room, tiredness making him hunch as he walked.

As he stepped into his room, he started stripping till he was in his underwear. He headed to the bathroom to get fresh, his body on auto pilot. His brain felt like mush and his eyes were bloodshot red.

I need a scotch... He thought to himself. In the last month, all the pubs and restaurants were closed so he couldn't go anywhere to get a drink. He was stressed and tired, both emotionally and physically.

He sighed and headed to his bed, stark naked. The moment his head hit the pillow, he passed out, slipping into a deep slumber.

He was so deep asleep, that he didn't hear the sound of his phone ringing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunshine streamed through the sheer curtains, illuminating the room in a soft glow. The reflection of the river casted shadows on the walls and the birds chirped a happy tune, to signal the start of a new day.

Ethan started waking up gradually, feeling much better. He felt well rested and his back wasn't killing him anymore. He stretched, the muscles of his abdomen and back, contracting and relaxing, as he got rid of the lingering sleep.

He sat up and his eyes landed on his phone. Picking it up he started checking his notifications as he headed to the washroom to start with his morning chores.

There were a couple from the hospital, updating him about the patients. None of them were dead so that's a good thing. He saw messages from his dad and Naveen but his eyes narrowed in on a particular name.

Leah🌞 (1) voicemail (10) messages

That's new. Ethan mused as he brushed his teeth. He pressed the play button and kept the phone on speaker.

"Heyyyyy Ethannnn." Leah slurred and Ethan's eyes widened.

"What's up duuddddee? How is it hangin' man? It been so long since I have spoken to you and no this...this 'voicemails' don't count because you aren't replying to me."

A short pause followed before Leah spoke up over the music. "Do you hate me? Like I need to know. I need ANSWERS. Am I that revolting that you had to run thousands and hundreds of miles away from me? Is it because I snort when I laugh?"

Her voice cracked towards the end before she snorted.

"You know what? You are one grade A pussy. Yes, you heard me! Inserts the 'Why are you running?' meme. I don't think you would understand that context because you are an anormal. I- I don't understand this running business. I show you affections you run away. I compliment you, you run away. I have sex with you, you run away. Maybe... Maybe I am the dumbass here?

Tbh, I have no fuckin' clue!!

And I am here all alone in this... Dive in bar or whatever the fuck this is, and the guys have just been flirting with me. And they should because I am a motherfucking goddess!! Like have you see my ass? Wait, you have whoops... but the point is, whenever they walk up to me or- or buy me a drink my dumb brain goes on to analyse how they can never compare to you.

So thanks bro, you fucked me up real good!"

Leah laughed so hard and worry churned in his chest.

She blew a raspberry. "Ethan, idk man you suck. Like so bad...or should I say good? I am confusion at this point. When I am sober, I miss you so so much. So I decided why not forget by getting completely and utterly wasted. But... Now I am drunk and I miss you more and none of my friends are here to save me from my phone so sorry, if I said somethings that I meant, 'kay?

I honestly though that loving you would be easy but... I don't feel like loving you anymore. But that's the thing about love... You can fall in love easily, but getting over someone you love could take foreverrrr.

So, don't worry bro. It's not like I am getting over you anytime soon and I am not running away anywhere. Can't say the same thing 'bout you though...

Anyways, it is 3 am and I see Bryce coming... So fuck you man. You missed out on your one shot at love and I hope you be alone for the rest of your life. Peace out, chinga madre!"

The voicemail ended and Ethan stood in shock.

I don't feel like loving you anymore...

You missed your one shot at love...

Those words cut so deep into his heart. It was painful and Ethan had to grip the counter. He could feel his heart shattering and tears threatened to spill. Those words hurt, it felt like a stitch tearing or a punch in the gut.

Ethan was never one to be affected by words. But these ones stung him.

So this is how Leah felt when I ran away...

As Leah says, I am a dumbass.

Ethan reached for the tap and splashed water on his face and wiped his hands before opening the messages.

Leah... I may be an asshole but I will always want to be your asshole.

That come out wrong.

Fuck.

Ethan shook his head and sat on the desk, scratching his beard and thinking of what to write in his response.

DAY 50

Ethan took his stethoscope from his ears and smiled at the child. "You are getting strong Julio."

"So I am killing all the bad germs?" Eyes filled with curiosity looked up at him.

"Yes. You are just like spiderboy, killing all the bad guys."

"It's Spiderman Dr. Ramsey!!" The boy exclaimed.

It's the same thing! But, Ethan knew better than to bring it up. He had learnt his lesson with Leah and her obsession with Marvel.

"Okay, okay, spiderman. Just a another week of rest and medicines and you will beat all of the bad boys like him."

"But the medicine is so yucky..." The 4 year old scrunched his face up and crossed his arms.

"I know the medicines taste bad so I have something for you for being a good boy."

"Really?!" He asked gleefully.

Ethan dug into his coat and took out some lemon candy. "Here Julio."

He squealed and took it. "Thank you!!"

He felt his phone ring in his pocket and he took it out to see. When his eyes landed on the notification, his face morphed into a grin.

Leah🌞 (1) missed call (1) voicemail

"Who is that?" Julio looked over Ethan's hand to look at the phone. Ethan looked at the kid and saw him staring at the wallpaper of his lockscreen.

"That... That is a girl."

"Even I can see that Dr. R." The kid rolled his eyes and studied Leah's picture with utmost concentration. "Is she your wife? Or your girlfriend?"

Ethan choked and covered it up with a cough. "Um... nothing of that sort. She is just a girl, who I miss a lot."

"But she must be something you, no? If you miss her so much?" Brown eyes twinkled as he looked up with innocence in his eye.

"She is my Sunshine." He shrugged as he ruffled Julio's hair. "But enough worrying about me. Be a good kid and don't bother your mama, Julio." Ethan started walking out if the room.

"Sim! Also, luz solar (your sunshine) is so pretty." The boy called out to him.

Don't I know that?

Ethan shook his head, smiling to himself as he walked up to the nurse's station. He disposed his gloves and sanitized his hands before taking his phone out. He walked to the near by supply closet so that he could hear the voicemail without any disturbance.

"Hey Ethan... Well the last voicemail was a disaster, wasn't it?" Leah nervously chuckled over the line.

"Please don't hate me. I tried to apologise through the messages. And I know you read them because I saw the bubble with three dots for half an hour. So, if you think you are sneaky, then you need to work on your skills old man." She chuckled and Ethan chuckled at the comment.

I could never hate you sunshine.

"I am actually doing so much better now. I think I just needed to get wasted... Have a good cry... And curse you out or something. No offense.

I have been listening to so many songs and I relate to them at a spiritual level. Everything sounds like a love song now. It's a real dilemma whether to dance or cry to them.

Also, Sienna has been such a huge help! Naveen told her whatever happened and she is so supportive... We watched trashy romantic movies and ate so much ice cream. My dad also it's going to come in a couple of days so... Maybe he will give me advice?

So things aren't as hopeless as they were a week ago.

I mean, it still hurts but it doesn't rip me apart everyday. I still hate you a little but, my love overpowers it. It's a war everyday but I try to beat down the sadness everyday."

Ethan felt so proud of Leah. She just needs to be reminded how strong she is and she will annihilate all her demons.

"I am gonna be honest... Your tactic of running away isn't going to make my feelings less for you, because absence makes the heart grow fonder. Like right now, I am witnessing Zaid feeding Ines cake. It's their anniversary and they are so in love that I feel like an outsider.

I mean I am in love but, the love of my life isn't here. So... Yeah.. I miss you right now... But, I have a strong feeling that our relationship is a unique kind, Y'know? Our relationship is so deep rooted and emotionally strong, that it can survive numerous storms.

We are so beautiful and so strong together... 

I am just waiting for the day when you realise that E.

And when you realise, I hope you come back to me."

Ethan brought his phone down, heart filled with so much love for this woman. He is aware of the feelings he had for her and he could have said those three words easily. But, deep down he knew he wasn't ready.

He wasn't the man she deserved yet. He had way too many demons of his past and in order to be with her, he had to face them and this time, he would do it the right way.

So with a bitter sweet feeling and courage, he got up and went back to work.

DAY 53

"Doctor, the gymnasium lot of patients are responding positively to the new vaccine." The young intern spoke excitedly.

"That's good. And have we finished the inoculation procedure for ward 314?"

"Yes doctor."

"Excellent work, Dr. Santos." Ethan nodded before looking down at the charts. It was mid afternoon and the sun relentlessly beat down on his back, making his sweat excessively.

He was standing outside the make-shift tent near the gymnasium, going through the charts. He was posted in the hospital, on the other side of the city usually but they swapped him to work at the gymnasium for today.

He could see so much joy and happiness in the recovered patients as they embraced and kissed their loved ones. It was a harrowing period for them and being apart for two months can really be lonely. He saw the young lovers kiss and hug each other tightly.

Will this be me and Leah when I meet her again? Ethan wondered as his eyes dropped down to the sheets of papers in his hand.

"Ethan! Glad you could join us here." Dr. Batra said with a soft smile.

"Hello to you too Dr. Batra."

"I have told you numerous times to call me Neelam. We have worked and fought an epidemic together so you can call me by my first name."

"Sorry Neelam, force of habit I guess."

"How are you since I last saw you? Have you been eating? Have you been sleeping?" She asked, her eyes critically observing him, like a mother does to her child.

Ethan was not familiar with the concept of maternal love. He found it foreign but at the same time, it helped a little in filling the void in his heart.

"Yes Neelam. I have been taking care of myself."

"And how about your, jaanu?"

"Jaanu?" Ethan asked inquisitively as he turned his head to look at her.

"Jaanu in hindi means love of your life." She said with a sly smirk playing on her lips.

"Good god." He groaned and stuffed his face even more into the charts, feeling his cheeks burning up.

"She is fine." He muttered out.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear that."

Ethan narrowed his eyes at her and she just gave a toothy grin. "I said that she is doing fine. As fine as she can be." He felt a tinge of guilt flare up in his chest.

"Ethan... Don't feel guilty. If she truly loves you, she will understand." her face full of empathy.

"That's the problem!! I have been nothing but a fucktard and yet she shows me empathy and loves me unconditionally. I feel so damn guilty and I hate myself for hurting her."

"Ethan, I have said this before and I will say it again. I can see how much you love her but, how will you return all that love if you can't even love yourself?"

"Love myself? Where is that coming from?"

"You put up the 'I don't give a damn about your opinion' vibe but I can see the self hatred in your eyes. Son, you are the thorn in your own path."

"I..." For the first time in a long time, Ethan was rendered speechless.

"Ethan... The first step towards loving someone is loving yourself first. Okay...Imagine that you have a cup. Self love fills half of that cup up and when you find 'the one', it becomes full. It's like a mutualistic relationship, you fill her cup up and vice versa.

Right now, your cup is empty because of the self hatred. And your girl is trying her very best to fill up the void but, she is loosing out on herself while doing that. It's hurting her as well as you."

"So what do I do?"

"You communicate. You talk out your feelings. Have trust in her that when you open up your deepest vulnerabilities, she will accept it and not hesitate to love you. Love is a two way street. You can't expect her to bare her soul if you can't do the same."

"Wow." Ethan's head was full with thoughts.

"Wow indeed."

"Neelam, we should call you the Love doctor."

She gave a tinkling laugh, her dark brown eyes twinkling. "Nah son. I am just a woman who has seen a lot in life."

He was about to respond when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He dug his phone out and unlocked it.

Leah 🌞 (1) voicemail

"Sorry I have to take this." Neelam nodded and he walked towards the deserted park. He sat down on the rusty swing and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hey... So I told you that my dad was coming to Boston, right? Well, we had a nice chat about us and it's been really insightful.

Needless to say my father said some not nice things and he almost brought an entire squad of marines to beat the shit outta you BUT, I stopped him because as much as you infuriate me, I would like your pretty face intact."

Ethan chuckled as he played with his frayed ripped jeans.

"I told him about how sad I have been and how everything sucks. I even spoke about the happy times when we would solve the various cases together or the times when we would buy take out and pull all nighters. I spoke about my fears and doubts that maybe, just maybe you don't love me. After hearing my rant he told me something that helped erase all the lingering doubts.

He said, "Mija, When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that's when it's real. That's when it's worth something." Isn't that true for us?

I can make you so angry that you could put hulk to shame but, I can also make you laugh when you are low. And vice versa! You make me so happy most of the times... when you are not being a colossal pain in the ass."

There was silence on the line, as if she was thinking.

"I think I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt... only more love.

This is just a rough patch but, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just like after a dark storm comes sunshine.

This is just a test for us, to see if we are strong. And believe me, I think we are the unstoppable duo. The diagnostics posse!

And when all this... Haze of doubts was cleared from my mind, I could see clearly. I could remember the promise I made you.

I will be waiting, for as long as you need.

And it's true.

So for now... I will love you through the phone. I will try to make it a point for you to know, that I will never ever stop loving you. I will be there through thick and thin.

Just give me a chance to prove it. Have faith that I will catch you when you fall. Just, come back to me.

I love you...bye."

Ethan stared at his phone for a long time. There were so many thoughts swimming in his head. But one thought just rang wide and clear in his head. Or rather, one word.

Sunshine...

So he sat there, alone with his thoughts until the sun set on him.

DAY 59

"To the best team of doctors!" A thunder of applause ran through the huge crowd as they screamed and shouted with joy.

"Thanks to these geniuses, Tefé is now free of cholera! Also, a huge thanks to the citizens as well. Your support has been so helpful. We are strong together!" The mayor's voice boomed.

We are strong together... You and I. Leah's words resounded in his head as he looked down at his combat boots, arms crossed.

He wasn't paying any attention to the mindless congratulations. His mind was swirling with the thought that within 60 hours, he is going to see her.

He was done with slogging his ass and he was done running. He will man the fuck up, and fix his issues before he asks her out. That's a promise he made to himself.

The gift he bought for her, weighed him down with uncertainty. Whether she would like it or not.

His mind was also going back to last year. The intern year was going to come to an end in two days and Ethan couldn't fathom just how far she had come. Last year, at this time, he met her. If you would have told him that he would have fallen head over heels in love with someone, he would have just admitted that person for LSD overuse. But, now here we are.

Damnn... Its already been a year.

After the thank you ceremony was done, the doctors headed to the pub for a drink. They ordered some local cuisines and a couple of beers to celebrate their win. As much as Ethan enjoyed the smooth scotch running down his throat, he still couldn't keep his mind off their inevitable meeting.

Will she look at me and be angry?

Will she throw a drink on my face? Or kick me in the balls?

Or will she jump into my arms?

Questions... Questions...

By the time they were done, it was almost 2 am. They had an afternoon flight so that was a good thing. He wasn't drunk, but definitely a little tipsy. The last thing he wanted was to nurse a hangover early in the morning that too, on a flight.

After being dropped off at his B&B, he felt his phone vibrate. He saw Leah's name flash and his face scrunched in confusion.

It's late, she should be asleep.

He pressed the button to play the voicemail and Leah's soft voice flooded, making Ethan even more intoxicated.

"Hi... Today it's a clear sky and honestly, it looks so beautiful. The moon is shining so bright and the stars are twinkling. I was brought up in Washington DC and never in my life have I ever seen so many stars at night. It's so breathtaking..."

Ethan headed to the basically and stood outside. He leaned on the railing and looked up and indeed, it was a starry night. It was like diamonds glittering and swaying in the moonlight. And the moon... It shone in its elegance, basking Ethan in its radiance.

Leah chuckled. "I can't believe it's been a year since I became a doctor. A full fledged working doctor. It seems so surreal how this year passed by in a flash. I feel like I have grown and matured, but at the same time I still feel as clueless as my first day of work.

The day I met you... T

o be honest, I expected a grumpy old grandpa as Ethan Ramsey, but I got a handsome, dashing grump instead. I ain't complaining though. It's just...I am in a reminiscing mood."

Don't worry sunshine... Me too.

"Did you know, when we look at stars on a clear night sky we are, in a way, looking back in time? Before you roll your eyes and think this is some philosophical propaganda, there is a perfect logical explanation to it. What we see today is an object whose emitted light started its journey millions of year back and from trillions of kilometres away and are reaching our eyes now.

So... Here I am, peeping into the memories of our past. The kisses, the hugs, the love making and the joyous moments we shared. I miss that..

I miss us... I am here, waiting for you.

Come back to me, Ethan."

Ethan replayed the voicemail, as he continued to look at the stars, thinking back to the times when he had her I'm his arms.

Don't worry sunshine, I am coming home.

well, what do you think?

and what do you think will be Leah’s reaction?

a. she will kick him in the nuts

b. she will kiss the fuck outta him

c. all of the above

I hope y'all liked it.. was lowkey nervous bout this fic heheheh

like, comment and reblog ;))

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

anyways, also thinking about Eddie initially turning down the emergency call but then she just Can’t stop thinking about like,,, this poor woman is really completely alone??? maybe if she goes she can find someone else to call??? but nope instead she finds a very confused Richie who has like one (1) named contact in her phone

YEAH ITS VERY SAD AND SWEET BUT ALSO KIND OF FUNNY IN A WAY??

Like Eddie hangs up, plugs her phone back in, thinks 'god that was weird, I need to make sure I'm off their list' and goes back to sleep. But she can't?? She's just tossing and turning and thinking about Rachel Tozier (and fuck does that name sound familiar) who is literally alone??? what the fuck? And then her anxiety sort of devolves from there and she decides that this is either a situation where she was desperate and gave a random number and it ended up being Eddie's out of pure luck or she meant to put down another Edith Kaspbrak and now she's all alone because there was a mix up with their numbers. And both of them are really, really unlikely but also really, really sad and yeah!! Maybe she'll get there and can at least contact someone for her!!

But then yeah she gets there, Richie's probably still got a shitty unlocked slide phone with a contact list thats like four unnamed numbers, 'John- Boss (Starbucks)', 'Michael- Boss (Restaurant)', and like 'bitch fucker who I fucking hate' and several of those options seem like she super shouldn't call them and she's not about to call this lady's BOSS when she's giving BIRTH so she kind of just... sits there???

And Richie wakes up and is confronted by this woman who is like 'hey why don't you have FRIENDS??' and she has to be like 'what?? the fuck?? get out??' But also Eddie, like, doesn't have friends either? And they bond over it!!! God they're so lonely and miserable!!!! Guess they gotta immediately pack bond with one another!