#and polished and ‘deserving’ of a post

[apangkatdua]

Big Brother is watching you.

[wandixx]

GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice part 2

part one is here

@whimsicalchaosgarden you asked to be tagged, sorry it took so long

Trigger warnings: mentions of experimentation and dehumanization (tell me if there is more appropriate way of phrasing it)

“So,” Robin started, taking the voice recorder out of his utility belt. “It'll probably be best if we get an explanation while making an accident report. This way we get it all over sooner”

Everyone agreed with this idea, standing in the loose circle in the debriefing area to make it all feel more serious. They had limited time before the next batch of cookies needed to be taken out of the oven and there was no way they all wouldn't devolve into chaos when it happened. M’gann knew from experience.��

To make sure they wouldn't take too long and cookies wouldn't turn on the fire alarm (again) both she and Danny set a timer.

In the meantime they had to learn who actually attacked them earlier.

“Phantom do the honors”

Danny froze for a moment, looking like deer caught in the headlight before he asked in a bit squeaky voice:

“How do I make an accident report?”

“Just say what happened but make it sound fancy,” Artemis explained. 

“Make a mission report and we'll fix it along the way,” Kaldur proposed.

“Answer ‘When? Where? Who was involved? What happened? What have you done about it?’ without excessive use of puns to avoid Bat-lecture” Robin helped, already in handstand.

“Bat-lecture? Really Rob?”

“So it's like lab report lite” Danny said before Robin did anything more than squawk indignantly “Alright, I can do it. Do you have any set phrase to start? And which accident report is it, in the database?"

“44th… How about ‘[Hero name], report’? Sounds serious enough.”

Everyone agreed, so after a moment of silence Kaldur did the honors.

“Phantom, report”

Danny straightened, rolling his shoulders back and locked his eyes in the middle distance. It was a bit eerie how fast he went from relaxed and goofy to almost emotionless statue. M’gann wished to never encounter it again, thank you very much.

“Incident report no. 45 made by Young Justice member Phantom, regarding an attack from earlier today, 26th April 20XX. The Young Justice Team, later referred to as the Team, went on a trip to an amusement park staying currently in the city of Happy Harbour. It was an activity meant to strengthen interpersonal relationships within the Team, previously green-lit by Red Tornado. Every member was in civilian attire as per protocol. Around 3:15 PM, after two and a half hours, the Team were disturbed by a group of ten armed people, recognized by member Phantom as belonging to Ghost Investigation Ward, colloquially known as GIW or Guys In White because of their uniforms. Later in the report the organization will be referred to as the GIW. Two shots were fired by the assailants, targeting but not reaching member Phantom. Members of the GIW were hostile but with use of humor and threat of legal actions, the Team managed to diffuse the situation before it endangered passerbys. Despite direct attack, none of the Team members’ identities were compromised. Assailants left the confrontation with belief that Phantom left his ectoplasmic signature on an unrelated civilian. Agents refused to admit they were working for the GIW since its operations break a couple of laws of the state Rhode Island. Because of that, their appearance was reported to local law enforcement and taken care of. No injuries or damage to the city infrastructure were sustained other than two burns in the asphalt in the place of confrontation. Required follow-up with local law enforcement in civilian attire as victims of assault. End of report” Danny sighed, easing back into a more natural position. “This good?” he asked, with a sheepish smile.

“Perfect”

“How are you so good at reporting? You didn’t even know what to do a second ago? That’s just unfair”

“I used to write my parent’s lab reports. It’s pretty similar in form”

“Lab-”

“Follow-up to the report only, Kid-Flash,” Robin interrupted “Phantom. elaborate on who were the assailants”

Danny stepped back from himself again.

“GIW is a ghost hunting organization supported and accredited by the state government in Illinois, legally operating also in states Wisconsin and Ohio. Their goal is to catch and examine ecto-entities to learn more about their biology and ways to obliterate them. Obviously their plans for experimentation don’t include consideration of ghosts’ well-being”

“Damn, that’s messed up”

“They wouldn't catch a blob ghost if they tried,” Danny shrugged, though something was wrong with the gesture. She wasn't sure though, so she moved on.

“Then why were you scared?” M’gann pressed on instead.

“My parents… are, you know, prominent ghost hunters so when GIW opened we all got a tour around the whole building. The lab was… it made me imagine things I wished I had never thought about”

“They have labs? Like evil labs?” Robin perked up like a kid who just heard that Christmas came early. “How could you hide it from us?!” he added, falling to hang on Danny's shoulder. He twirled a bit to catch the left one even though before he stood on halfa’s right side. Dramatic as always “Conner, we have a birthday gift for you!”

“What does GIW’s lab have to do with my birthday?”

“The potential!” Robin yelled, straightening for a better effect.

Everyone started laughing. Well, everyone other than Conner who just looked at them confused.

“He probably wants to storm another lab, bring up nostalgia of our first meeting,” Kaldur calmed down just enough to explain.

“Tell me you wouldn't like to punch an evil scientist,” Wally added, almost dropping to the floor. 

“This does sound nice”

“And THIS is exactly the reason why I haven't told you all. Thanks for spoiling my surprise Rob,” Danny lied, though he did his best to sound truthful. He even projected some false mirth.

It would take much more to trick M’gann though. She abruptly stopped laughing.

“You're lying. Why actually haven't you told us?” she demanded maybe a little too harshly, but she was worried. Everyone froze for a moment, before turning to look at Danny.

“They're all bark no bite, and aim worse than Stormtroopers’, so I haven't considered them important enough to report”

Other's didn’t know, of course, but M’gann knew just how terrified Danny was during the confrontation and how echoes of that fear soured air around him even hours later.

Everyone did realize this explanation was a tone of bullshit though. 

Apparently incredulous stares were enough of the response.

“You and the Justice League have more important things to deal with than some shitty local laws”

“Bullshit again,” Artemis burst her lips “This is exactly what Justice League is for”

“I already found people to help me lobby against them”

“And why aren't we on the list?” 

Danny fell silent, not looking anyone in the eyes, which was quite a feat considering they had him in a half circle. M’gann considered moving to his side to show her support. Stare down like that had to be quite stressful.

Why not actually. She stepped closer, and drew him in the loose side hug. Danny tensed, which wasn't abnormal for him. He usually relaxed in about thirty seconds, if he didn't, she'd let go.

“I didn't expect them to breach the containment…”

“Each of these lies is worse, you know? Like, insulting our intelligence level of worse,” Artemis interrupted once more, pinning him with her eyes alone “Give us truth or stop talking”

Danny raised his head to look back at Artemis and mimed zipping his mouth shut and throwing the key away. 

“Really?”

Boy just shrugged, not breaking eye contact.

“Alright, let's move on to the next question, how did it get approved in the first place?” Wally interrupted, waving his hand between them. They both shook off like dogs fresh out of water.

“Couldn't you wait five more seconds until I won?” 

“Ha! You wish Artemis. Though you could give us a moment”

“I gave you literal ages”

Danny snorted “Sorry, I keep forgetting how impatient you are”

“Oh shut up, my brain is just faster than yours, you slowpokes”

“Sure, sure”

“He made a good point,” Kaldur said “This shouldn’t even pass. And even if, you’re legally a Meta”

“Normal ghosts aren’t and halfas being a thing is not exactly common knowledge among the living”

“I’ll never get used to this distinction”

“I believe in you, Rob”

“What about ‘Extraterrestrial, extradimensional and otherwise previously unincluded’ Optional Protocol to the ‘International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights’?”

“Oh my god Conner, you’re the only person to say the whole name ever”

“Hey!”

“It all comes down to the definition of the ghost and the fact that Alien addition uses sentience and sapience as a ground to give anyone said rights. And also, US signed it but didn’t ratify it so…”

“Isn’t it same thing?”

“Nope. I thought so too, but apparently signing anything means nothing unless it’s also ratified, so I’m kinda fucked. Can’t even get the UN to frown at them disapprovingly, because officially, nothing was agreed to. And you know, even if they ratified it, ecto-scientists conducted enough research to prove we aren’t sapient enough to have these rights anyway. Just most of the states didn’t need to make a law out of it”

“That’s rough buddy”

“Are you really quoting Avatar at me right now? Really Artemis?”

“Yes”

“Wasn’t Avatar this movie with blue people? I don’t think they said that there”

M’gann wasn’t quite sure why human members seemed to be appalled by the question.

“We’re going to fix that later-”

“What exactly is there to be fixed, because I feel like we’re talking about to different things”

“- but for now can we go back to the whole ‘ghosts have no rights in Illinois’ thing” Robin continued, completely ignoring Conner’s questions.

“Illinois, Wisconsin and Ohio. There are portals to the Zone in two of these states. GIW already tried to send nuke through one of them”

“How Americana of them,” Kaldur muttered.

“If you have another insane tidbit about them, please share it all now. My mind can’t utilize any more revelations like that”

“I handled it, don’t worry”

“Someone tried to nuke literal Afterlife…”

“Yup, get on the schedule Kid Flash. You’re supposed to be fast”

M’gann knocked her arm into his, kinda as a ‘don’t be mean’ message. Danny kinda tensed, but soon relaxed back and moved his head as if he wanted to lay it on her shoulder. Excitement of the day was clearly catching up to him.

M’gann wouldn’t be mad if he did laid his head there.

“Why do we learn about it just now?”

“I wrote the report, not my fault you haven’t read it”

“Can’t fault us for assuming we’d know every important thing from your endless bitching!”

Danny straightened and laughed, in this horrible humorless way that made M’gann want to claw at her brain until she couldn’t hear or sense any of it.

Instead, she brought her other hand up and just held him tighter.

Thankfully the whole spectacle didn’t last long.

“It’s cute that you think I bitch about anything important”

“Phantom…”

“Don’t Phantom me right now. Even if by some miracle they managed to send the missile to the Zone, it most likely wouldn’t have worked. They’re mostly just a joke.”

“They managed to shot you. Right upper arm or shoulder”

“Don’t deny it, we’ve seen you wince when I leaned on you and when M’gann hugged you”

Martian tried to let go hearing that, but Danny held her in place. She stayed where she was but carefully moved her hand away from the slightly damp area on his shirt. She suddenly caught on everything that was wrong with him, now that she knew to look for it.

“I got worse from the hand of my house’s security system”

“You… understand that it’s… like… way worse, right?”

“You don’t know life until you hear threats of dissection against your alter ego after stopping death ray with bowl of cereal,” he said, relaxing more into her side again. He sounded absolutely exhausted.

“Do you want to move in here? Until we deal with this whole GIW and assorted mess?” she said instead. Conner nodded, surprisingly eager to share the space that he considered somewhat sacred.

“Nope, I’m good, I’m needed there”

“You could Zeta- yeah, no, nevermind, it wasn’t good idea. But we could make it work”

“You still should-”

“It’s fine. I mean, I have it handled and it doesn’t affect that many people. And we’re working on it. It’s fine”

“It really is not,” Conner growled.

“You need your arm patched up” M’gann demanded, ignoring previous conversation, with eyes still fixed on the blood that stained her forearm. She should’ve destroyed at least Operative K.

“I bandaged it up”

“It soaked through then. Let’s go to med–”

Loud shrill interrupted her, because of course it did.

“Oh, look, convenient distraction! Let’s take the cookies out before they get burned!”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” M’gann stated in a way that allowed no argument “You’re getting away for now only because I’m holding most of your weight right now”

“Sure we will. And I can stand on my own, thank you very much”

“I’ve heard many lies today and this might be the worst of them. We’re going to Medbay as soon as the cookies are out”

“You’ve got it boss”

[redwinterroses]

There’s a cherry tree in the middle of the redwood forest.

False isn’t sure what to make of that. She shifts her grip on the staff in her hand, its pale glow reflecting faintly off the fresh snow. She’s come out here for resources—the vault altar is demanding logs, and these giant trees are an easy source—but the incongruous sight of an enormous, blossoming cherry tree sending pink petals wafting on the frozen wind…

She wonders if this is what fish feel like, when they see a lure.

“Hello?” she calls, her voice echoing off the trees. The world stands in permanent semi-twilight here, and the deeper shadows hide the mobs that will venture out come nightfall. A sneak of creepers is bedded down in a sweetberry bramble just on the other side of the clearing, and False tenses when the lead boar lifts his head, but he apparently doesn’t deem her worth stalking so early in the day. 

There is no other reaction to her call.

False is of half a mind just to head back home and farm her own dang trees. It’s not like the vaultar is picky about the kinds of logs—she could just as easily grow up a bunch of birch and throw those in there. But that will take so much longer… not to mention she’s not sure if there are even enough saplings in her storage.

She unhooks her enchantment-glittered axe from her belt and pauses to mentally poke at her mana reserves. Plenty high. Whatever’s lingering near this tree, it can hardly be worse than what she deals with on the daily in the vaults. Overworld dangers are barely a challenge anymore.

The logic of that doesn’t change the uneasy feeling that buzzes over her skin though. 

Venturing further into the clearing. False’s gaze traces up the trunk of the cherry tree, following its branches to where they terminate in lush bursts of pink and white blooms. A sweet smell drifts on the wind. She wrinkles her nose, reminded of compost piles and fermented spiders’ eyes. 

The tree’s branches stretch long and low—a canopy of their own, heavy with flowers and dark, glossy leaves. The space underneath is filled with falling flowers and a fog of pollen, the air moisture-thick like a lush cave.

Lifting one hand, False catches a falling petal on her fingertip.

It sizzles as it touches her skin, stinging and buzzing like live redstone.

She hisses through her teeth, shaking her hand and letting the petal fall to the forest floor. “What the heck?”

Another petal tumbles past her face, and she watches it with narrowed eyes—right until it fizzles out of existence a few pixels above the forest floor.

“Glitch,” she mutters. “That’s… not good.”

Iskall needs to know about this—it could be a bug from one of the new updates, or it could be something deeper in the code, but either way: this glitched tree is a problem. She’s probably lucky it just stung her.

She reaches for her communicator, raising it to take a pic of the cherry tree.

“Oh, hi there, False!”

False yelps, spinning around with her axe ready to swing.

Gem is standing behind her, a wreath of cherry blossoms tangled in her hair and antlers, leaning casually on a tall staff of blooming cherry wood. Her smile is wide, and sap flows over her fingers, pale golden, dripping down her arms to leave dark spots on the faded denim of her overalls.

“Gem!” False lowers her axe. “Oh my gosh, you scared me. I didn’t know you were doing Vault Hunters.”

“Hm?” Gem raises one eyebrow, and for a moment her eyes flicker to red and then purple before settling back on green. “Oh—I’m not doing Vault Hunters, False.” Her voice is amused, almost chiding.

“Oh.” False feels unexpectedly small—which is impressive, considering she’s nearly half a block taller than Gem. 

More of the glitched petals fall, resting on Gem’s hair and slowly melting into it like snowflakes. The brief moment of relief when False had seen Gem’s familiar grin is fading into something like the sensation of freefall. 

“What’cha up to?” Gem asks, and her face blinks from one expression to the next like a bad video message. Her clothes are blue—no, green—no, bloodstained and grey—no, blue. They’ve always been blue.

False takes a step back.

“Uh, not much…” she glances up at the redwoods. “Just doing some… resource gathering. You know.”

“Cool!” Gem giggles, and stands up straight. False tenses, but Gem only spins around her staff and waves a hand at the glitched tree. “I didn’t realize this was an occupied server—are there many people here?”

There’s a buzzing in False’s skull, and she blinks rapidly. A muscle twitches under her eye. 

“Um…”

“I guess it doesn’t really matter.” Gem lifts one hand and grabs one of the lowest branches of the cherry tree. She really should not have been able to reach that.

Swinging herself up with the lithe, effortless strength of a cat, she perches on the limb and stares down at False. The grin is gone from her face now, and she looks down at False with bright eyes.

“Etho’s not here, is he?”

False opens her mouth to answer, the words yes, of course he is, I can take you to him heavy on her lips… And with effort, she swallows them back. 

They taste of sweet rot.

“Why... why doesn’t what matter?” she asks instead.

Gem stares at her for a long moment, expressionless. The flowers woven through her antlers are growing of their own accord, twining up to caress their brethren in the branches overhead. 

Then she smiles broadly, flashing teeth that nearly glow white in the dappled shadows. “Oh!” she exclaims. “No reason! I’m only passing through, is all.”

“You’re not… you’re not sticking around?” False tries—and mostly fails—to sound disappointed.

“Naaaaah…” Gem stands and walks along the branch, as secure and balanced as if it were a stone floor. The flowers in her hair flow along behind her, sliding from the branches and falling like a cape down her back. “Worldhopping is easy. Staying in one spot is way harder.” 

False watches the flowers move and swirl, their smooth, strange motion ensnaring her attention. The buzzing is back, too. Like bees, drunk on honey and sleepy in their hive.

“World hopping…?” she manages. “With admin commands?”

Gem’s laugh is as brilliant as a knife and as sharp as a spark. “False!” she crows. “You say the funniest things.”

False laughs. It seems appropriate. She isn’t sure why.

“Anyway,” Gem continues, fading into one patch of blossoms and reappearing on the other side of it. Her eyes are sprays of cherry flowers now. Her antlers are branches. “Anyway, cherry trees are all the same. They make it easy to get around.”

“That…” doesn’t make sense, False wants to say. But her lips are heavy, and coated in sticky sap. Maybe it doesn’t really matter.

“Oops! Behind you, False!” 

Gem’s chirped warning is flaked in glee, and False turns around, as slow as if her feet are buried in soul sand.

The creepers she had seen—the entire sneak—are standing behind her, pink flowers blooming from their eyes. 

“Oh no.”

The boar’s blinded head snaps toward her voice, hissing. He starts to aggro, bioluminescent streaks flashing from his snout to flanks in increasingly-swift pulses of light.

“See ya in season ten, False!” Gem cries out cheerfully.

The axe drops from False’s nerveless fingers, trailing strings of sap. She smells the inescapable stench of burning gunpowder, overlaid with rot.

“...Dangit.”

[FalseSymmetry was blown up by a creeper]

~*~

Jerking upright in her own bed, False swipes wildly at her face, trying to smear away tree sap that isn’t there. 

“What the heck, Gem?” she exclaims at her empty base. Her voice falls flat, swallowed up by the sky that surrounds her builds. The clock above her head ticks impatiently, and she huffs in frustration, pushing up out of her bed. All her tools, gone—her levels, gone... and after all that she still needs those logs for the vault. 

Grumbling, she starts pulling backup gear from various chests, trying to cobble together something that can get her back to the redwood grove before her items despawn—assuming they hadn’t all been obliterated by a second or third creeper explosion. She glances at the vaulter, and freezes.

It’s been completed. The crystal floats gently atop the stone pedestal, gleaming with an inner light. 

And, tumbled at the base of the vaulter—abandoned, more than was needed to fill the crystal’s requirements:

Half a stack of cherry logs.

[mintcrash]

Phoenix Jay!!! bird imagery my beloved......

[featherglum]

You can't tell me this didn't happen after Tichy came back from Costaricana

[yangscowlick]

Still can’t believe watching Arcane is what got me to watch RWBY. Very grateful.

[psychicthepsychic-daily]

mfw psychic is the liability and not void (rare void w)

[dolotonglo]

while i think we all knew that this day was coming, i still chose, for seven years, not to give up hope. i put my faith in mappa and the yuri on ice team and while i'm not surprised by the cancellation, i'm still so dissapointed.

listen, i understand. there were a lot of factors that made production and release hard. it wasn't meant to be. i get it. but it still hurts. i still think we deserved clearer communication on this.

yuri on ice was a major part of my life for so long. that show opened my eyes to healthy queer relationships and made me realize that i was queer myself. watching the episodes as they came out and debriefing them with my friends was the highlight of my week. i have consumed fanworks from incredibly, astoundingly talented artists. i have created fanworks. i have talked to and connected with so many amazing people, all because of this show.

yuri on ice got me through the darkest points of my life. when shit hit the fan, i'd curl up in bed, wrapped in my blanket from hot topic, and loop the soundtrack to ground myself. yuri on ice has been there for every major turning point in my life, and comforted me through it.

although more recently i haven't been as involved in the fandom, it's still so, so dear to me. i'm sitting here, writing this, surrounded by yoi merch i've collected over the years. keychains, plushues, stickers. i'm blowing my nose with tissues from my makkachin tissue holder.

...it's just so surreal that the movie has finally been put to rest. but i'm happy to have known and loved this fandom, and i will carry these memories with me, always.

[peaches2217]

New fic coming sometime this week — and it’s a doozy! It’s nearing 6k words, which is like. Twice as long as my previous longest oneshot.

I hope y’all like bittersweet angst~

[undefeatablesin]

Have a collection of extremely self indulgent scribbles ft. Good Hunter Lady Ruza and her beloved Arianna lol 💙

[blindbatalex]

even though the world is gone

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Marcheron Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Hockey, Mostly Fluff, just go with me on this one Word Count: 1,140 Summary:

Brad groans and raises his hands towards the sky as if imploring to some higher power. “I shouldn’t be out in this weather? YOU have been sitting there, chilling, for God knows how long, in what I can only assume is an attempt to catch your death. Are you out of your fucking mind, man?”

[wigglys-dikrats]

"How do you go on living when your entire life is taken from you and ghosts from the past won't seem to leave you alone?"

~

hi i have a lot of feelings about the perkins sisters and i hope we see more of them in the future

i also have a lot of paulkins feelings in case you couldnt tell (the title of this fic in my google docs is 'i have a lot of paulkins feelings okay it is 5am' because insomnia means writing angst at 5am, i finished polishing this at 5 this morning)

i started this fic months ago and @tapestryoftrauma beta read an early version of it, you are always appreciated tysm

[halcyoncyrus]

Sweet Tooth comic panel redraw with the show's designs

(original below)

from Sweet Tooth Vol. 3: Animal Armies - By Jeff Lemire

[erythristicbones]

i don't feel like copying what i wrote, so take some screenshots of me having brainworms for the JDK villains again. primarily spurred by me going "hey wouldn't Nisha and Artemis and Apollo make cool rockstars instead"

[nazuri]

Okay I just need to share cause it’s just so funny to me

in poland we have this show that was around for over 20 years with some actors literally being raised alongside it like they were there since they were children but thats not important right now

currently there is this one woman that showed up not so long ago and she tries to guess who in this main little town of the show can be her father and she knows the main possibility and who her dead mother had some kind of relationship with but she goes about it in just so fucked up funny way i just can’t

this woman instead of asking the guy about her mother not only never brought up the subject to him she goes around stealing toothbrushes and doing DNA tests with this first guy she actually took his stepsons toothbrush by mistake but still and now she found out that this other guy also knew her mother so she went with him to his house and when he was making tea just snatched his toothbrush

i absolutely love whatever the fuck the’re doing there because it’s hilarious

it’s even better that this time around the wife actually i’m not sure they are married i don’t pay that much attention to this but i sit in the room when mom watches it so i pick up on stupid shit but back to the topic so the wife of the second guy catches her trying to take the toothbrush and then they talk a little and she’s like i did a DNA test and it was negative and that when the episode ended for now but let me tell you the old woman will eat this shit up and do even worse shit than this woman and i actually love the old woman so much so heres a little backstory for her as well

so she is like one of the OG been there since the beginning and she is your typical nosy neighbour but with the ages she gets more and more unhinged i would say at some point after her first husband died meaning this is like more current stuff she managed to i think become a mayor for some time start a choir she maried the guy who i think directed said choir i may be wrong on that though she went to jail before christmas for beating up said guy when he tried to do like santa costume around the town for some reason she wrote few ominous text messages in order to warn one other character that some guy is in love with his wife of course sending it from her second husbands phone and i think there was also a similar letter oh i forgot about how her current husband also scammed her and made her lose her house yet she’s still with him she once found a cigarette(?) in his pocket and decided to smoke it turns out it was marihuanna they took her to the hospital/clinic and then she was arrested for having drugs attempted to come unwanted to her past crush’s wedding and like you get the poin that woman is unhinged

at this point i have no idea why i wrote this post but whatever they are doing with this show keep it up because it’s so funny it hurts

[vulpinesaint]

bracken i hardly go there re: gomens but i’m so excited for the aro crowley fic <333 srsly so awesome can’t wait to readdd

literally my influence (has said absolutely nothing about the content of the fic except to declare that i'm losing my mind)

no it's gonna be so good though. gonna be my pride and joy. my doctoral thesis in fandom. all the excatholic girlies are gonna be obsessed with it all the aspec good omens fans are gonna be delighted. i'll start posting excerpts on here at some point and not just dming them to people haha. just for you <3

genuinely though so funny how i went "yeah quick fic! he's so aro haha" and wrote a little vignette about his plan with the rain and now i've covered adam and eve and cain and abel and gender roles within romance (<— barely scraped the surface so far. much more yet to say) and transgenderism in shakespeare and the difference between the way that god loves and the way that humans love and an angel's implicit capacity (or lack thereof) to love and what the central conflict and nature of aziraphale and crowley's relationship really is and i haven't even talked about them as nanny ashtoreth and brother francis yet. which. talk about gender roles.

anywayyyyy it's 5k already. so. only up from here <3

little excerpt for you my darling my dear my most beloved:

“Do you think we’re capable of love, Angel?” he asks Aziraphale, on another of his ill-advised nights. The alcohol makes a good excuse for nights like these. “Not just you and me, but all the angels, and the ones who…” he waves a nonspecific hand. “Were. Before.”  “Demons, you mean?” Aziraphale has an uneasy tilt to his words.  “That. God loves, and humans love, but… were… we? Built for that?” And he’s edging too close to the things they don’t talk about, asking questions like these. Calling them a we. He’s practically got a foot over their unspoken wall already. He redirects as best he can. “Do you think you have love?”  Aziraphale looks at him oddly, and a strange aspect comes over his expression, a wash of pity that immediately has Crowley tense and edging away. He doesn’t like being pitied. Doesn’t think it’s good for him. Aziraphale looks at him, pitying, perplexed, and asks, “Do you think you might have lost it?”  Crowley presses his mouth closed, as if his jaw were a snake’s again and his tongue a mouse, and sobers up. He stands. He leaves. They don’t see each other again for a good while. 

He can’t explain why he’s feeling… scratch that. Scratch it out completely, with claws and teeth and black ink and whatever might suffice. He can’t explain what he’s feeling. Something roils around in his brain at that thought: that maybe he had a love before, something like God’s, or the humans’, or something entirely different, and he lost it as he fell.  He practically falls in front of a mirror, splaying his hands on either side of it to keep him upright, and he can’t tell if the image in front of him is swirling and swaying because his form has once again taken on the state of his mind, or because there’s something like moisture in his eyes.  Not tears. He wipes them savagely on his sleeves. He throws an empty clay pot at the wall. The shatter is satisfying, but it doesn’t stop the feeling that’s clawing around the edges of his chest and squeezing at everything inside it. It’s the feeling that’s unbearable. He can’t stand feeling. Things are so much easier when he doesn’t.  And, the feeling whispers, traitorous and echoing sinister in his ears, sounding like his own snake-voice, is it easier if you don’t feel love? Have you driven off this feeling, too?

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