#and poke fun at swedes of having them

[tyranasauruslex]

how RomanLukas handle jealousy?

To be honest I think they’d both be an absolute nightmare when jealous! They're both so needy. But they’d only pull the jealously card when they’re first trying to get together, there’s no need when they both realise that they only have eyes for each other. 

For Lukas I can see him poking Roman a little bit, maybe by mentioning Shiv or talking about an ex, but not too much. He wants to know that Roman is into him, like really into him, but he’s also aware that Rome still hasn’t fully accepted who he is yet. Trying to make him jealous on top of everything else would send him running for the hills. 

Roman on the other hand would find being able to make Lukas jealous pretty thrilling. Lukas gets a little nutty when he’s jealous, he tries not to be but there’s something about Roman talking to other guys that gets him all riled up. Unable to help himself, Roman throws himself into flirting with disgraced presidential candidate Mencken. He’s never had this type of control over another person before and he can’t seem to help himself. It’s kind of fun watching Lukas get increasingly wound up. 

But inevitably he takes it too far and ends up hurting Lukas’ feelings, badly. Now he’s got a sad Swede moping around all over the place, making Roman feel all his stupid feelings and realise that he’s potentially fucked everything up. Initially he tries to gloss over everything so they can go back to sending each other dumb memes, playing video games all night and being weirdos together. Except Lukas barely responds which frustrates Roman because now he has to actually go and apologise and take responsibility for once. Impulse takes over and before he’s even thought anything through, he’s on a PJ to Tokyo where Lukas has gone on a business trip. Except when he lands Roman realises that he has no clue where Lukas is, let alone what hotel he’s in. He ends up texting Shiv to beg for assistance but she can only give him the street name so he ends up trudging around five different hotels before he gets the right one.

The receptionist eventually takes pity on him after Roman tearfully explains that he can’t call Lukas to tell him he’s here because he’s supposed to be apologising and needs to say it in person. After a quick text from Oskar, she lets him into Lukas room where Roman intends to stay awake and practice his apology in the mirror with the note cards he brought with him so he wouldn’t forget anything. Lukas returns hours later to find Roman passed out on his bed surrounded by his apology notecards looking travel worn and exhausted. Instead of waking him up, or asking what he’s doing here, Lukas throws a blanket over the pair of them and falls asleep. In the morning he’s treated to the full rendition of Roman’s Apology World Tour and they decide that trying to make each other jealous isn’t the best way forward. However ordering room service together is which then becomes their official first date. 

[alexbkrieger13]

“It didn't feel fun to go there...”

Eriksson was poked by Harder

 Sweden against Denmark also means a family feud for Magdalena Eriksson, 29, and Pernille Harder, 30.

Afterwards, the Swede was the loser.

- Should I go up to her family and talk now - it didn't feel like fun, says Eriksson.

Denmark won the training match against Sweden in Malmö 1–0 after a late decision from Stine Larsen.

This despite the fact that the big star Pernille Harder was not on the pitch.

The 30-year-old has not played football since the end of last year when she was forced to undergo surgery on a thigh injury.

However, the Dane was present at the Eleda Stadium on Friday and was able to cheer for his teammates.

"Will hear it"

On the other side, her Swedish girlfriend, Magdalena Eriksson , stood as a loser.

- It's a bit of prestige, that's all. Now I feel a little annoyed because now I'm going to hear this for a while. Now she will have to live on this. They are doing well and I am impressed with them as a team. But I am most frustrated with our own effort, says the 29-year-old.

Did some dick appear in the stands there right after?

- I felt it, should I go up to her family and talk now - it didn't feel fun. But no, they get it, says Eriksson with a laugh.

On Tuesday, Sweden will face Norway in Gothenburg before the World Cup in Australia/New Zealand in the summer.

[bringinghometherain]

Comfortember Day 6: Exhaustion

lmao I don’t know what I’m doing. I think this fits? Guess someone will tell me if it doesn’t.

1300-ish words, Our Flag Means Death, Izzy Hands x Female OC (Charlie from my Ao3 fic, but this was meant to work as a standalone). Rated M I guess? Sex is mentioned but none happens. We’re just here for fluff.

Many days at sea were long days, but this had been one of the longer ones. The crew of the Revenge had been up early, getting the ship docked and moving heavy barrels of sugar out of the hold and down the gangplank to be sold. They had taken advantage of the temporarily empty hold to clean and retar the boards down in the dark, a nasty job that left everyone’s shoulders and backs aching. By the time that was done new food and supplies and large, heavy barrels of water needed to be loaded back into the hold, and several heavy crates of books that Captain Bonnet had picked up in town needed to be carried up into the captains’ cabin. 

Because the weather was amenable and the harbormaster was suspicious, the Revenge left port as quickly as it had come in, which meant anchors, sails, lines all needed attending to. By the time the Revenge was back out on the open sea Charlie wasn’t sure she had the energy to descend from the rigging. She debated sleeping on the mizzen top, but Roach had brought dinner up to the main deck and whatever it was, it smelled divine. Hunger overpowered exhaustion long enough for her to lower herself slowly down to the deck. 

The captains were eating with the crew tonight, Stede Bonnet reminding everyone to drink enough water (“hydration is vital, everyone!”) and talking excitedly about the books he’d bought. Ed was listening and nodding along, thank god, because the rest of the crew was silent as the grave, hunched over their food, focused on finishing it before they fell asleep sitting up. The Swede did at least once that Charlie noticed, his face nearly connecting with his plate before he jerked awake and looked around to remember where he was. Charlie might have laughed and poked fun at him, but she was too tired even to do that. 

When she was finished eating she scootched over to a large coil of rope, still within hearing distance for Captain’s story time, reclined against it, and lowered her hat over her eyes to block out the lamplight. She was still being teased for the black felt hat she’d picked up on their last shore leave, told she looked like some sort of junior highway bandit, or junior storybook villain, or junior apprentice clergy, but Charlie was quite sure she looked cool, especially with the brim pulled down over her eyes like Jim did sometimes. She crossed her arms over her chest to add to the Cool Jim aesthetic and was asleep against the coiled rope within minutes. 

She woke with a start to the prod of a boot on her thigh, snatching her hat up to see the main deck of the Revenge empty, and First Mate Hands standing over her. She squinted up at him for a moment, then returned to her reclined position against the rope, pulled her hat back down over her eyes, and said “No.”

“I’m not here for that,” Izzy said, “It’s going to rain tonight, you can’t sleep on deck.”

“M’fine,” Charlie mumbled. She felt Izzy crouch down next to her and rest a hand on her thigh. I guess we’re really alone, she thought, if he’s doing that. They hadn’t been involved for very long, or very consistently, but each of them made it very clear to the other that the rest of the crew finding out about their involvement was not an option. 

“Come on,” he said quietly, “Get up.” His tone was gentler than it had been all day, as he had put the crew through nothing short of hard labor so they could get in and out of port quickly. Charlie knew he’d just been doing his job today, but she was still half-asleep, every muscle in her body was sore, and after the day they’d had she was not feeling particularly friendly towards the first mate. 

“Mr. Hands,” she said from under the brim of her hat, “I was sleeping, I was sleeping so well, until you woke me up just now, and I am so sore after today and I was sleeping so well right here. I don’t care if it’s going to rain, if nothing else it will wash the sweat and tar off of me, and in eight to ten hours I will be happy to move from this spot.”

Izzy said nothing, and she wondered if he would leave her alone. Alas, he grabbed the brim of her hat and pulled it up so he could see her face. She glared at him.

“This is a stupid hat,” he said, still holding the brim up. 

“This is a very cool hat,” Charlie countered, yanking it out of his grasp and back down onto her face. She felt arms wrap around her back and under her knees and groaned in protest as Izzy lifted her up off the deck. Rule #48 on the Revenge was “do not pick Charlie up without her explicit permission,” after a late night of drinking games and shenanigans had ended with several superficial stab wounds amongst the crew. 

She quoted this rule to Izzy now, though she didn’t think it would do much good. “I can always drop you off the side of the ship, if you’d prefer,” he offered, and she could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“That’s how Lucius died, Izzy. You can’t joke about that.”

“Lucius isn’t dead, you dolt,” Izzy retorted. She could tell he wasn’t heading to the rail anyway, based on what she could see from under the brim of her very cool hat. 

“If I wasn’t so tired I’d have escaped your grasp by now,” she said, changing the subject. “You’re lucky I can barely move, Hands.” 

Izzy chuckled and she felt them start to descend the narrow staircase to the gun deck. “You’re lucky you haven’t escaped,” he murmured into her ear, “Because now you get to sleep in a real bed.”

Charlie paused to process that statement for a moment, her brain turning the words over a few times. “I don’t have it in me for sex tonight, Iz,” she reminded him blearily. 

“I know that,” he said, “But I can’t very well carry you into the middle of the crew’s quarters like this and dump you into your hammock, now can I?” 

The hypothetical alone sent a bolt of anxiety through Charlie’s chest. “Fair enough,” she said as casually as she could muster, “Guess I get a real mattress tonight.” 

Izzy grunted affirmation and stopped outside his cabin door. He lowered Charlie to the ground feet-first and rolled his shoulders after the effort of hauling her below deck. She squinted blearily around to make sure no one was witnessing this whole…whatever this was, then followed him inside. She managed to strip her boots and coat off and collapsed into his straw mattress, next to the wall as was her customary spot. The hat remained on her head, over her eyes, until a hand from above removed it to her weak protest. 

“I’m going to throw this hat overboard,” Izzy muttered as he hung it next to her coat. 

“I’ll kill you,” Charlie threatened, eyes closed, one hand grasping to pull the worn blanket over herself. 

“It’d be worth it to get you to stop wearing it,” he said, sitting down to remove his own boots and outerclothes. She felt him crawl into bed next to her and grumbled at him as he rearranged the blanket to cover himself and not just Charlie. “Oh, hush, Jesus Christ you’re a nuisance.” 

Charlie grumbled some more vague threats as he wrapped a strong arm around her and pulled her close. Sleep overtook her before she could hear Izzy Hands’ reply. 

It did not rain that night.

[bodyofvvater]

.

[dapandapod]

Midsummer dreams

Happy midsummer!!! As a swede, there are a ton of wierd traditions on this day! But I must confess this one is one of my favorites. 

Please enjoy this little thing!!

On Ao3 here!

It always rains when midsummer is celebrated. It’s just how things are. Geralt and Jaskier are staying at a small hamlet somewhere in the north. The air is hot and humid, a taste of thunder waiting to happen. Every drop hitting the leaves like a whisper, the birdsong soft and muted.

They are standing in the middle of a field, helping to gather flowers and weeds to dress the maypole.

“You know, somewhere even up further north there is this tradition,” Geralt says, voice gentle like the chorus of the summer rain.

“Oh?” Jaskier asks, picking a big flower with white petals. Daisy, Geralt thinks, and imagines putting one behind Jaskiers ear.

“Yes. You might have heard of it? You pick seven types of flowers and put them under your pillow on midsummers eve. And when you fall asleep you will dream of the one you will marry,” Geralt tells Jaskier, picking a bright red poppy. But it is fragile, and three petal falls off it as soon as he lifts it.

“That is very romantic. Did you ever try it?” Jaskier asks him, plucking another two daisies and adding them to his growing collection. Geralt shrugs, more petals falling from the poppy.

“I���m a witcher. Who would marry me?” Geralt asks, and Jaskier predictably says nothing. It was not a question he expected an answer to.

They keep gathering flowers, grass, leaves, anything that they can weave into crowns or decorate the maypole.

Geralt doesn’t say, but he makes sure to pick out at least seven kinds of flowers. It can’t hurt.

The festivities are merry, full of dancing and singing and food. As a bard, Jaskier is busy most of the night. He sits with his lute on a hay bale and sings, a flower crown a bit crooked on his brow. His smile is wide and his eyes are sparkling, and Geralt finds it hard to look away.

When night falls, they return to their rented room. Jaskier is happy, soft with drink and kind words, and in his hands he holds seven kinds of flowers.

“I want to try it. Why not? It sounds like fun, and perfect for a song.”

This time Geralt is the one being quiet. He is not sure why he doesn’t say anything, but from his pack he takes out a small bouquet of flowers. With seven kinds. He doesn’t think too much about it before he stuffs it under his pillow quickly, pretending he is fluffing it up.

Geralt barely dares to look at Jaskier as they change into their night clothes, and when he falls asleep, it is to the smell of wild flowers and home.

In his dreams, he dances with Jaskier. Warm hands are resting on his shoulders, and Jaskier does that goofy crinkle of his nose when he laughs. In his dreams, they travel together on horseback. Watching the world and learning its secrets. In his dreams, Jaskier kisses his forehead and calls him ‘mine’.

As morning comes, the smell of wild flowers lingers. When Geralt opens his eyes, they catch on the sleeping bard’s form across the room. His hair tousled in sleep, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed, resting on the floor.

Oh.

Geralt doesn’t dream much. When it isn’t nightmares, or the dark plains of unconsciousness, it is blue eyes and soft smiles.

Maybe that is what this feeling is. What wells up in him when Jaskiers tongue pokes out in concentration, when Jaskier glares at him for a bad joke, when Jaskier is sleeping, just like he is doing now.

Maybe he can be allowed something good after all.

Just as the thought passes through his mind, Jaskier wakes up. Their eyes meet, and Geralt hopes. Hopes that his bard dreamt of him too.

And as Jaskiers cheeks colour, and he blinks awake sleep, Geralt thinks maybe, just maybe, the flowers let Jaskier dream of him.

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Raindrops, snowflakes, sunshine, part 3

Summary: Catelyn meets a northern boy in her algebra class during one of London’s many rainy days. Initially she doesn’t expect much, but this boy brings her a surprising amount of sunlight.

@leialannister and I discussed Scandinavian Starks and I realized I really wanted to write a fic so that’s what I did. Swedes depicted in media makes this Swede happy, and NedCat also makes me happy so why not combine it and publish him for everyone to see?

Ashara poked her head into the bathroom and squinted against the bright light. Catelyn got eye contact with her through the mirror and raised her eyebrows. Ashara had looked better. She was a beautiful woman, but at the moment she looked like seven hard years.

“Where are you going?”

“Did I say I’m going somewhere?” Catelyn asked.

She was going somewhere, but she hadn’t said a thing about it to Ashara and Cersei. She had planned to tell them about it, she really had, but then she had just never found an opportunity to do it. She had thought that she would be able to get out without them taking too much notice about it. That she thought because the two of them had a hangover from hell.

“You didn’t drink last night and you’re wearing makeup, you’re going somewhere.”

Catelyn turned around to look at her directly instead of through the mirror.

“I’m going out for coffee with Ned” she said.

Ashara smiled tiredly.

“You are?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you but I also hate you.”

Catelyn turned back to the mirror to examine her look a final time.

“What have I done to deserve that?”

Ashara leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Cersei and I are stuck here, hangover as fuck, but you’re all pretty and have a date with a cute guy.”

Ned had accepted her following request and Ashara and Cersei had deemed him cute based on the pictures he had. Not amazingly good looking, but definitely cute.

Together the two of them had also reached the conclusion that there was no trace of a partner on his social media. He only had pictures with more than two people in them, which made it hard to determine, but after careful consideration they had said that he didn’t seem to have a girlfriend. Which of course didn’t matter to Catelyn, but they had found it very interesting.

“Thanks, but it’s not a date.”

It definitely wasn’t a date, but she was looking good. Her skin was glowing, her hair cooperated. It was a perfect day.

“Then what is it?”

“I’m meeting a person for coffee, that’s what it is.”

Ashara rolled her eyes.

“That really just sounds like a coffee date, KitKat.”

She didn’t know when Cersei’s ridiculous nickname for her had stuck, but it annoyed her that it had. She had long since given up on trying to fight it. KitKat. Sometimes that was just who she was. A chocolate covered wafer bar.

“If you insist on it, fine, it’s a friend date.”

She walked past Ashara and out of the bathroom. The flat was gloomy and the air was heavy with the smell of what Catelyn guessed was lavender, but she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter what scented candle it was that Ashara had lit, the only thing that mattered was that Catelyn had an intense dislike of it. She was glad for that she had a good reason to get out of there.

“Is he aware of that it’s a friend date?” Ashara questioned as she followed Catelyn to the hallway.

He had to be. She couldn’t imagine him wanting to date her because why would he want that? She hadn’t exactly made a good first impression. Or second impression. She had been given multiple chances and had managed to fuck it up every time.

“Yes. I don’t think he would want to date me anyway.”

“Why?”

Catelyn tried to keep her mind off the social missteps she had made during her conversations with Ned. If she started thinking about that she would die. Well, she wouldn’t die, but she would have some trouble getting herself to their… friend date. And if she actually managed to get there she would have a very hard time looking at him.

“There’s no need to talk about that.”

A sly grin appeared on Ashara’s face.

“No need to talk about it, huh? Why’s that?”

“I’m an idiot, that’s all there is to say.”

“That isn’t like you.”

“My brain abandoned me somewhere in the middle, I don’t know.”

Catelyn really didn’t want to be that person, but she was smart. She was book smart and also did well in social situations. She was simply overall smart. Therefore she would have liked to know what it was about Ned that made her act like she had never spoken to a person before. What about him was so terribly special that she couldn’t use her brain? He wasn’t special, the only thing that made him stand out from the other people in her life was that he was Swedish. And there were literally millions of other Swedes.

“Good luck with your friend date” Ashara said when Catelyn opened the door to leave.

“Have fun here” Catelyn responded.

She was once more very happy for that she was going out instead of staying inside feeling like a corpse all day.

“We’re gonna order pizza, it’ll be great.”

Catelyn didn’t believe Cersei was awake and based on Ashara’s yawn she she guessed she would go back to bed for a little longer as well.

“Save me a slice.”

“Can’t promise anything.”

“Come on.”

“That’s what you get for ditching us for a guy.”

“Is it somehow my fault that you’re hangover?”

“Cat, honey, shut up and let me be a little bit jealous over your date.”

Why was she jealous? She had a girlfriend. And it still wasn’t a date, Ashara knew that. Catelyn would get no boyfriend out of meeting Ned for coffee.

“You have a girlfriend, go on a date with her.”

“I can’t date anyone in this condition.”

“I want dinner no matter your condition.”

Ashara almost pushed her out the door.

“Don’t keep the Swede waiting.”

“Hey, I need–“

The door shut before she had finished her sentence. She supposed it was for dramatic effect, but it wouldn’t really work as Ashara had pushed her out before she could take her bag and phone. So she opened the door and went back inside.

“Did you not get my hint?” Ashara chuckled. “I was telling you to leave.”

Catelyn snatched her bag up from where it stood on the floor just next to the door.

“I appreciate your attempt at recreating a scene from a shitty movie, but I needed my bag.”

“I knew something would ruin it.”

“Want to try again?”

Ashara looked like she actually considered it for a moment, but then she scrunched up her face.

“Nah, it wouldn’t be the same” she said.

“Sorry for ruining it.”

“I hate you now.”

Catelyn descended the stairs, cursing the fact that the lift was still broken. She didn’t even know how long it had been since it broke. Weeks, maybe months. And when it actually worked it worked for five days at a time anyway. Catelyn was a world champion when it came to running in stairs. She was nowhere near patient enough to simply walk down those stairs, that took way too long.

When she had stepped out on the street she heard her phone’s text signal and smoothly fished it out of her bag. It was a message from Ned. She had got his number after they started following each other on Instagram so that they could have more direct contact.

Is it fine if Oden comes?

Her lips curled into a smile, he wanted to bring his dog. That felt like an honor. She didn’t know if it was, but it certainly felt that way. And she was fine with his dog. It was a large dog, she wasn’t a fan of large dogs. But Oden seemed very polite.

Yeah, it’s no problem

Okay, see you soon

See you soon

She put her phone away again and happily walked towards the subway. She had hoped it would be sunny, it was not. Maybe it would have been if she hadn’t thought of it. The weather seemed to work that way. But it wasn’t raining, and according to her weather app it wouldn’t. It was just cloudy. Which was fine. Cloudy was fine. But it made her a little sad because her hair was at its best with some sunlight at it, if she could say so herself.

She arrived there before Ned. The bookshop was closed Sundays so she couldn’t browse for books while waiting. So she looked at her phone for a bit, tried not to stare at people walking past her. She didn’t know where he lived, so she had no idea about from which way he would come.

But before she knew it he was standing in front of her with Oden next to him.

“Hey” he said.

She smiled.

“Hi.”

“I hope Oden isn’t a problem.”

She crouched down slightly and scratched Oden between his ears.

“Not at all. We’re best friends, right, Oden?”

Not that a dog could answer her, but it seemed like he liked her. He wagged his tail. She didn’t speak dog, but she believed that meant he was happy. Or at least he didn’t hate her.

“He trusts you” Ned said.

She had been joking, but she saw no sign of that he was.

“I’m sorry, I’m bad with dogs, how can you tell that?”

“Oh that’s not about dogs overall, it’s just Oden. He usually doesn’t let people touch his head. His brothers and sisters were a bit mean to him, and they would chew on his ears so he’s sensitive in that area.”

Catelyn previously hadn’t believed that she would ever reach the point in her life where a dog trusted her. She didn’t like dogs, and dogs didn’t like her. It had been that way for as long as she could remember. And still she stood there with a dog who according to his owner trusted her.

“I really do not deserve that” she said dismissively. “At all.”

Ned looked at her for a moment before answering. She looked back into his eyes. Grey. They were grey. And she was certain of that she wouldn’t forget it that time around. Even more so she hoped they wouldn’t go so long without seeing each other that she had time to forget again. But she wouldn’t let that happen.

“I think you do.”

Maybe she was blushing. She had no idea. All she knew was that he was very sweet and that she liked that about him.

“Thank you.”

She had probably held eye contact with him for longer than appropriate but he didn’t seem to mind. When she snapped out of it and averted her eyes, turning her gaze to the street instead.

“Where do you want to go?” she asked.

Ned sighed.

“I’m going to confess something” he then said. “I don’t know a lot about coffee, where I come from we drink it plain and black. So you pick wherever you like.”

Interesting that he had asked her out for coffee then. Maybe that was simply the first thing that had come to his mind when he asked her.

“Okay. Well, this isn’t my part of the city, I’m rarely here, but if we walk around the area I’m sure we’ll find something good.”

She was only there when she was at the bookshop. She had no other reason to be there, she only knew they had a good bookshop there.

“Sounds good.”

They started walking down the street with Oden ahead of them.

“Don’t you have coffee shops in Sweden?” Catelyn said.

It seemed so much like an exaggerated stereotype that she couldn’t really believe it. Sweden wasn’t all winter and woods, was it? They had cities and in cities there were coffee shops. Or so she believed. Maybe Sweden was a stranger country than she had initially thought.

“We have in the cities, but my family is from the country side so I didn’t have easy access to them. I learned to drink my coffee black. In the wrong company you could get shamed for drinking it with a little bit of milk.”

“Really?”

“Proper people drink their coffee black” Ned said in a heavy Swedish accent.

Catelyn couldn’t keep herself from laughing and he smiled.

“I drink my coffee black too sometimes” she said. “But that’s mostly when I’m too tired to put anything in it because I’m studying.”

“Everyday I thank myself for quitting math.”

“I get you, sometimes it’s all pain, but I like it.”

“I’m a bit jealous, I wish I was good at it.”

She was somewhat flattered by that. So he wanted something that she had too, she wasn’t the only one who was a bit jealous of the others talents? Maybe she was a bad person for feeling that. She didn’t really care.

“Do you?”

“I have always admired academic people, but I’m definitely not one of them. My brain’s not wired that way.”

“That’s funny, because I thought the same thing about you when you said that you draw” she confessed. “I wish I was good at that.”

Ned didn’t answer, so she looked at him to see if something had happened. He didn’t look back at her, seemingly deep in thought. Which confused her. Had what she said really been that thought inducing? She didn’t believe so. They stopped at a red light, waiting for the light to turn green so that they could cross the street. The moment she wasn’t walking she realized her hands were getting quite cold. She should have brought gloves, she realized as she stuck them in her pockets.

“I could teach you, if you’d like” he offered.

By then she had almost forgotten that she was talking to someone.

“What?”

“I could teach you, if you’d like” he repeated. “I’m not amazing, and I don’t know how good I am at teaching, but I can try.”

Catelyn wasn’t a person who lost her tongue. She could always talk, even in situations where she got nervous or embarrassed. She always had her words. That wasn’t always something she considered positive, but it was true. Though she believed that what she felt then was the closest thing to speechlessness she would ever come.

They had only met a few times, that was the first time they had actually agreed to meet up. They didn’t know each other too well, they were only acquainted with each other. And still Ned offered to teach her. Still he offered to help her learn something she had wanted to learn for many years.

“Would you do that?” she asked, feeling herself smile.

“If you want to, sure” he responded, shrugging as if it was no big deal.

“I have nothing to give you in return, but thank you. I would love to do that.”

“You don’t need to give me anything in return, it’s just a fun thing.”

It could definitely be a fun thing.

The light turned green and together with the other people who had gathered at the crossing they hurried across the street with Oden leading the way.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“What? No, I’m not cold at all” she lied.

There was no need to fuss about that. She was just too stupid to dress for the weather. Maybe she should have learned to after having been alive for quite some time, but she never seemed to do so. Her father would have shook his head if he could have seen her, he had always stooped her in the door and given her a hat and a pair of gloves.

“Are you sure? Because it really seems like it.”

She should have taken a scarf and a pair of gloves, she could definitely admit to that, but it was a little too late to think of it then.

“What makes you think I’m cold?”

“The fact that your shoulders are up at your ears and your hands are very deep down in your pockets.”

“Okay, I’m a little cold, but it’s nothing.”

If she hadn’t known herself as well as she did she would have looked in her bag to see if she by any chance had a pair of gloves in it. But she did know herself, and was therefore aware of that she would never put gloves in her bag. Looking was therefore unnecessary.

To her great horror he first handed her Oden’s leash, and then took of his own gloves off before offering them to her.

“Ned, there’s no need for that, you really don’t have to” she protested. “You shouldn’t have to be cold because I’m bad at wearing enough clothes.”

Ned didn’t listen to that. He merely took Oden’s leash back and instead gave her the gloves. When he did so his hand touched hers and she felt how warm it was. It could just have been the contrast to her frozen hand, but it felt like he was very warm. They would have made a good match if they were dating in that sense.

“God, your hands are warm” she said.

“I know, that’s why you need the gloves a lot more than I do” he said. “Put them on.”

The need to get her hands warmed up came out victorious in the fight against the want to keep protesting. And she was actually very grateful for the gloves when she put them on and felt an instant relief. They were way too large, but they were a lot better than nothing.

“Thank you, this is very kind of you, but never leave your dog in my hands again. He’s a nice dog, I like him, but I draw the line there.”

“Okay, thank you for letting me know.”

“I’m usually not this bad at planning” she then said, feeling that she had to defend some of what little dignity she had left.

“Just like you’re usually not late?” he quipped, obviously amused by her words.

So he remembered that, did he? That hadn’t been a lie, she was always on time. But the latter was a truth with modifications. She was a good planner, but not when it came to dressing for the weather.

“Yes, like that. I don’t know what has gotten into me lately.”

“I hear that’s what London does to you if you stay here for too long.”

“I think it’s Britain overall, it’s been too long since I was home.”

How long had it been since she visited home? It must have been in the beginning of the summer and at the moment it was the middle of autumn.

“Where are you from?” he asked. “More specifically.”

“Galway. Where are you from?”

“I doubt you would know it, most Swedes don’t know it. It’s a small town. And we didn’t even live in that small place, we lived a bit away from it.”

He was right, she knew exactly two Swedish cities. The two largest ones. And he said he was from a small place earlier so she had known it wasn’t one of those, but it had seemed polite to ask.

“I know Stockholm and Gothenburg, which one is it closest to?”

“Good question, uhm… Gothenburg, I think. But it’s about the same distance to both of them. It’s close to the Norwegian border, not too far from Sweden’s largest lake.”

Just then she realized that she knew absolutely nothing about Swedish geography. She had no idea about the name of the largest lake or where in the country it was. And knowing it was close to the Norwegian border didn’t exactly help, Sweden did have a long border towards Norway. That she knew.

“I’m completely lost” she admitted. “You’ll have to show me on a map.”

Ned laughed.

“Absolutely, but then you’ll have to show me Galway on a map. I have no idea about where that is” he said.

“Don’t you know Galway? There’s eighty thousand people living there.”

“I have heard of Galway, I just don’t know where it is!” he said defensively.

“Okay, small town boy” she chuckled.

He pulled a face at her, making her laugh even more.

“I know I’m not the most academic person, but you’re being unfair, big city girl.”

Catelyn smiled.

“Small town isn’t negative. I like small towns. They have an atmosphere and a feeling that cities don’t have.”

She thought of her grandparents’ house in the country side. She had been there all the time when she was a child, sometimes she had thought it was better there than in the city. Wherever Ned was from was probably lovely.

“Small towns are very different from London” he said. “My siblings dreamed of leaving, but I liked it there. It was calm, not much happened. A good place to make art.”

“You said your older brother lives here, right?”

“Yes. My brother Brandon lives here. I have two younger siblings, as well. A sister, Lyanna, and a brother, Benjen. They’re back in Sweden with my parents. Do you have siblings?”

“I have a younger sister, Lysa, and a little brother, Edmure. He’s twelve, he thinks I’m a total nerd for studying math. He thinks I should get a cool degree instead, like criminology. He still calls a lot and wants to come here to visit though.”

“Despite that you’re a nerd?” Ned chuckled.

“Yeah, despite that I’m a nerd. Apparently I’m still likable and a pretty okay older sister.”

“You’re likable. Och vacker.”

The first thing she understood perfectly, but those last two words she didn’t know. That was Swedish. Why had he started speaking Swedish suddenly? And what did it mean?

“Thank you, but I’m sorry, I don’t know what that second thing means” she said.

Ned gave her a look. She didn’t know what that meant either. There were many things about him that she didn’t know or understand.

“It was nothing” he said.

“No, that wasn’t nothing. If it was nothing you would have told me what it meant” she said, nudging him in the side. “Come on, tell me!”

“No.”

“You’ve made me cur–“

��This might be a good place, don’t you think?”

Catelyn shut her mouth and looked up to see that he was right, that was a coffee shop. She wasn’t sure of exactly where they were, she didn’t recognize it so she had probably never been there before. But they had coffee and that was the only criteria she had.

“You wait here with Oden, I can go inside and order” she said. “What do you want?”

“You already know what I want.”

“Are you sure you don’t want something more fun?”

“Proper people drink their coffee black, big city girl” he reminded her.

She laughed and then took off the gloves, handing them to him.

“Thanks for letting me borrow them, I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

She opened the door and was met by a wave of heat. It was quite crowded, seemed like everyone had decided to get coffee at the same time. She placed herself at the end of the long line and then took her phone out of her bag, immediately taking up a translator. And then found that she couldn’t remember what that word was that he had said. Or those words. She was pretty sure of that there had been two words, but she couldn’t for her life remember what they were. And it annoyed her. It was annoying that he refused to tell her. Had it been something really insulting? But why would he say something insulting, she didn’t believe she had done anything to deserve that.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee was one she had mixed feelings for. She had worked in a coffee shop for almost a year, and had quit just before starting to take classes that autumn as her working schedule didn’t work out with the classes, and she wasn’t allowed to change it. Coffee was a good scent, but some of her worst interactions with other people had also happened in that environment. She had to get a new job though, she was starting to run low on money.

When it came down to it she got him a latte because she couldn’t bring herself to order black coffee. It was too boring, she had to teach him to drink other kinds of coffee as well.

“What do I owe you?” he asked when she came back outside.

“Nothing, it’s on me this time. And you didn’t get black coffee” she informed him.

“I knew it. Is it a latte?”

“It is a latte.”

“I’ll accept it.”

“You sure you won’t get all soft from the steamed milk?” Catelyn said teasingly.

He took a sip from his mug.

“If I don’t survive the winter it’s your fault.”

“I’ll be sure to let your family know that.”

“Thank you, I’m sure it will bring them much comfort as they’re grieving me.”

“Most definitely.”

“Do you want the gloves?” Ned asked when they started walking again.

She didn’t know where they were going, and she supposed he didn’t either. Just walking could be nice too.

“No, I’m good. I have the warm mug now, and besides they’re your gloves, you should have them.”

“I’ll bring an extra pair next time.”

He wanted to see her more times. Things couldn’t be going bad then, could they? He liked her as well as she liked him.

“Or maybe we’ll see each other indoors” she suggested.

“That works too.”

They crossed a street once more and came out to a park. Why had she never been in that park before? It was a nice park and it was probably even better in summer. She would have to remember that. Maybe she could go there with Ned again. Or she could take Ashara and Cersei there. They went to parks all the time in the summer.

“What do you do in your spare time?” Ned asked.

“If you’re fishing for hobbies now I won’t be able to give you anything. When I don’t study I read, and spend time with my flat mates, occasionally I go to a pub or meet up with other friends. Well, I bake a lot, does that count as a hobby?”

She was actually a quite good baker, but when she thought of it she lived a very boring life. She didn’t consider it boring, she liked it as it was, but it wasn’t anything spectacular. There wasn’t much variation.

“Why wouldn’t it count as a hobby?”

“I don’t–“

Suddenly he almost fell to the side and therefore right into her. Warm coffee splashed over both of them as she stumbled over her own feet. She would have fallen over if he had not quickly dropped her mug in order to grab her arm and hold her upright.

At first she didn’t understand what had happened or why he had lost his feet, but then she realized that it was Oden that had suddenly pulled at his leash.

“För i helvete, Oden!” Ned exclaimed before turning to her. “I’m so sorry, he must have seen a squirrel or something.”

She looked at him, coffee all over his chest area, then looked down at herself. She had equally as much coffee, if not more, all over her. Had she not worn her coat it probably would have burned her.

Catelyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t intentional. And no major harm was done.”

She hoped the stains would go away in the washing machine. Otherwise she wouldn’t be that happy, but she still couldn’t be angry at anyone. Neither Ned nor Oden had done it on purpose. And it wasn’t like he didn’t also have coffee all over him.

“Jag visste att jag inte skulle ha tagit med dig” Ned muttered to Oden. “Varför kan du inte bete dig när det behövs?”

The dog stood before them, looking at them with puppy eyes. Seemingly wondering why they had just stopped the walk. When Catelyn met his eyes he tilted his head, wagging his tail.

“And that means?”

“He’s not like this usually, I have no idea about what has gotten into him” he said apologetically.

She believed he had chosen to ignore her question and that wasn’t the translation for what he had said, but she couldn’t be sure about that as she didn’t know a single Swedish word.

“It’s okay, really. Accidents happen.”

He was still holding her arm, and they were standing quite close to each other. There was still some distance between them, but it was far less than when they had been walking. She was blushing, she could feel her cheeks burn. Why did she have to blush, why was that her first reaction to everything?

He noticed just seconds after she did and let go of her arm, then he backed away a step, avoiding her eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for the coffee?” he asked, sounding deeply troubled about it all.

“I’m sure. Next time coffee’s on you, it’ll even out.”

Ned sighed.

“I really feel like I should in some way compensate you for this.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

It felt somewhat ridiculous to stand there and talk about whether or not he should pay her for the coffee while both of them were dripping with it.

She would have laughed if she hadn’t wanted to disappear into the ground, never to appear again. Both because of the ridiculousness of the situation and because it was so far from how it had played out in her head when she had thought about it beforehand. Nowhere in her imaginations had she come up with a scenario where they stood in a park together with his dog, both of them having coffee all over themselves. She should have expected it though. Of course she couldn’t see him one time without something happening.

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to see me again–” he started.

“Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?”

His expression changed from a very anxious one to one that indicated that he believed that she had completely lost it.

“Because I poured almost all of my coffee on you?”

“I poured coffee all over you too, this goes two ways. Oh God, we look ridiculous.”

She could always take some comfort in that they were looking ridiculous together.

“I know, I can see you clearly” he responded dryly.

As if he didn’t look just as stupid as she did. 

"Take a good look then, small town boy. I've never looked better."

She had probably never looked worse. At least when it came to her clothes. It was a good outfit, but the stains didn't really go with it.

"Det är ingen dålig syn."

The whole Swedish thing was fun, she liked hearing him speak his first language, but she was also already tired of not always understanding what he was saying. Communicating in Swedish didn't really work though because she didn't know a word in that language, otherwise she wouldn't have minded at all.

"I'm sorry, Swedish is a fine language, but I don't understand and this time you'll have to translate for me."

"That feels deeply unnecessary."

There was something about the look he had after he had said it that made her even more curious. Like a child who was pretending he wasn't guilty of something he had obviously done and was having a hard time keeping the mask up. What was he saying to her? And why did he refuse to translate it?

"Well, this has been very nice, but I suppose we'll have to continue some other time, because we're both in need of a change of clothes" she said.

She crouched down and picked up the mugs they had dropped. Then she walked over to a nearby trash can and tossed them in it.

"Once again, I'm very sorry” he said.

"There's not much to do about it, so no need to feel sorry."

They began making their way back towards where they had met up, trying very hard to pretend they were not covered in coffee. They actually managed to pass by fairly unnoticed, Catelyn only saw one person give them a look as they walked past. And that wasn't strange, she had seen so much weirder things than two people who had clearly had a little accident while living in London. Maybe it even passed as some sort of fashion statement. When it had just happened it hadn't felt like it, but it could have been worse. A lot worse. She still wanted to disappear from the face of earth when she thought about it, but at the same time she knew that it was definitely a thing she could get over. It had been an accident, it wasn't something she had done or said. That was always an improvement from the times they had met in the bookshop.

"Except for the mess I had a pretty good time" she smiled when they arrived at where they would walk different ways.

"We'll have to do it again without that part" he agreed.

"Indoors" she added.

"I'll bring extra gloves in the future, just in case we need to go somewhere."

She snorted, wondering if he really was that much of an outdoor person.

"That works too."

They fell quiet after that, unsure of what to do. What was appropriate? Could she hug him? That was what seemed most reasonable to her as a handshake was way too formal but she still needed to say goodbye in some way. Hugging also felt most natural to her. Though she couldn't be sure of that he was a hugger. She had never been more thankful for her phone ringing. Maybe a few times, but she was happy to hear her ringtone in that moment. She didn't have to answer it, but it gave her a little more time to figure out what to do.

"I should probably check who it is, I'm sorry" she said apologetically.

She wished she could have just taken up her phone, but it had somehow disappeared underneath everything else she had in the bag. Old receipts, two pairs of sunglasses, a charger, her wallet, a box with a broken bracelet that she had intended to get fixed, some pads. And that was only some of it. How had her phone managed to get down under all that? And when had she put all that crap in the bag? When she finally managed to find it she saw Edmure's name and picture on the screen, and she answered the call with a small smile on her face.

"Uncle wants to know if you're coming home for Christmas" her brother's little voice informed her before she had time to answer.

"Hello to you too, Ed" she chuckled.

"Are you coming home for Christmas?"

It was more than a month and a half until Christmas, why did Uncle Brynden want to know that already? And why wasn't he calling her instead of making Edmure do it? They had regular contact, why hadn't he asked her when they talked the day before?

"I am, but why does he want to know that now?"

"He said why, but I forgot to listen, I just know he told me to ask you that."

She had to keep herself from laughing again by biting down on her tongue. It didn't get easier when she locked eyes with Ned who proceeded to wave back at her despite that they were a meter away from each other.

"Okay."

She would have to call him later and see what it was about.

"What are you doing?" Edmure continued, quickly moving past Christmas.

"I'm out with a friend."

"Is it Ashara or Cersei? Or one of your other friends?"

"His name is Ned, you haven't met him."

There was a short pause from Edmure's side.

"Can I say hello to him?" he then asked.

She could imagine him in his room back in Galway. Sitting at his desk in front of the window of the room, picking at the flaking blue paint on his chair, his eyes narrowed with suspicion. He was always like that when she told him about new people.

"Do you want to say hello to my brother?" she said to Ned.

He shrugged.

"Sure, why not?"

She put Edmure on speaker and then held up the phone.

"Alright, you can say hello now, Ed."

"Hello, Ned."

Ned leaned forward slightly to answer.

"Hello, Edmure."

"Are you and my sister actually friends or are you her boyfriend?"

Ned raised his eyebrows in surprise and she felt the moment she stopped breathing, her eyes going wide.

"Pardon?"

"And that's enough!" Catelyn interrupted, quickly taking Edmure off speaker and putting the phone to her ear again. "Say hello to everyone back home and tell them I love them, bye!"

"But–"

She pressed the button to end the call. There was the reason for why not. She should have seen that one coming, she should have known. She could have spared them both the humiliation if she had just thought it through a second time. Edmure didn't have many boundaries, she had hoped that would grow away when he got older, but it never did. Though he still had some years left before he was a lost case, he was only twelve, after all.

"I had no idea that was going to happen, please forgive me" she said in a low voice as she put her phone back in her bag.

If she looked at him she wouldn't be able to see him again. She would have to delete his contact in her phone and erase every proof of that they had ever met.

"My older brother and my sister are exactly like that, I get you."

She had a feeling of that he wasn't looking at her either, but rather up at the sky.

"There's always some comfort in not being alone, I guess."

"There is."

She took a deep breath and then went in for a quick hug. Based on the way his whole body tensed at first she thought it had been a miscalculation from her side, but then he laid his free arm arm over her back and hugged her back. They were only in contact for a few seconds, but during that short time she once more got to feel how warm he was. His future girlfriend would be lucky to have him in the winter, it was nice. He was nice, all of him.

"We'll have to see each other again" she said when they parted.

"Definitely. Will I hear from you in the near future?"

Catelyn scratched Oden behind one ear. He had patiently been standing still and waiting while they had been standing there and talking. Why weren't all dogs like him? She would have liked them a lot better if they were

"You’ll hear from me as soon as I know when I can. Take care."

"You too."

She threw a glance over her shoulder when they walked separate ways. She did so every few seconds until Ned and Oden had disappeared behind a corner and she could no longer see them. She sighed, that sure had been a lot. They had done quite well, she would like to lay the blame with Oden and Edmure for that it had gone as it did. In the future she wouldn't answer any calls from Edmure while she was around people, it was better that way. Much better. When was back home and had climbed up all the stairs to the sixth floor she was met by ABBA. She hadn't even opened the door yet, but she could clearly hear "Dancing Queen". They were probably watching Mamma Mia!, Ashara loved that movie. Catelyn was almost positive she herself had seen the movie half a hundred times just because Ashara put it one at least once a week.

"What the hell did you do in order to look even more like crap than we do?" Cersei asked when she caught sight of her. "Really, what happened to you, KitKat?"

She felt like she was doing a walk of shame. Except for that she hadn't had sex with anyone, she had just spilled coffee all over herself and the person she had been meeting with. She needed fresh clothes. And dinner, she was starving.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I need a while to process the whole thing."

"Sounds like a successful date" Ashara hummed to the tune of the chorus of the song.

"It was eventful, if nothing else.”

"There's pizza for you in the fridge, if that makes anything better."

Catelyn stopped to look at her, almost believing that she would start crying over some pizza.

"Really?"

"Yeah, go wild."

"I love you, I'll join you in a minute, I just need to change my clothes."

[avellanas-nutty-empire]

What would it be like for the Swedes too met female identical triplets

Akdidbfjcjs oof boy can I imagine this!

Bear with me for a second. For the sake of knowing which is which, let's call them, from oldest to youngest, Anna, Becca, and Cara - A B C if you will. Let's pretend for a second all 6 of them are normal workers at the commission.

The triplets are simply walking down the hallway when they see Anna walking too. Normal, right? For now.

Then they walk into the room of their destination to see Becca.... uuuh?

Oscar will be more confused than the others. I feel like Otto would not start caring till they see Cara.... then things get weird. Axel would brush it off more than the others, slightly confused but not really caring a whole lot.

But when they see the three of them all together, it clicks. Axel kind of had a hunch. Otto is just glad he knows what's going on now, but Oscar freaks out.

Omg more people like us!?! He immediately wants to learn their differences and befriend at least one of them. Otto will play along with it a little to humor him, but Axel could really care less.

But if someone tries to like, poke, make fun of, tease, or make a harmful joke about the girls being identical triplets the swedes will murder someone.

After all the years the boys have worked at the commission, the girls are the first to get remotely close to them. Ofc it takes time, but they all got an unspoken agreement to defend eachother to the death

If any of yall want more headcannons of these girls working at the commission with out favorite boys plz send me character trait suggestions!! Rn I'm thinking itll be a lil too clishe to make them basicaly parallel of the boys so I wanna make them different and their own people if I expand on them, ya know? Like mabey only one of them falls for one of the boys but they all still become like really good friends eventualy

[spc4eva]

Morning Wind: Hooked on a Feeling

Say hello to our awkward Jakonan bounty hunter! I really wanted to give insight into her brain and the fact that her 'reservation' and 'mysteriousness' is because she's lowkey panicking in silence beneath her mask. Ironically, people just assume she's stoic like Mando, when in truth she's a bundle of anxiety.

Also yes, Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede is now canon and she was totally singing it in her ship.

Just a few fun tidbits about her: Asa is a middle child, she's 30, and I imagined her faceclaim being Adeline Rudolph.

Word Count: 5,173

Rating: T (violence/cursing)

Crossposted on AO3 & Fanfic.net

Docking on Nevarro was always a process. Not because there was a tower to report to or it was exceptionally difficult to find a spot on the 'tarmac', which consisted of a flat sandy dune, windswept and dotted with the sulfuric ash of the juxtaposed lava plains. Rather, mentally Asakaze found her lashes fluttering in irritation as she came back to this dry, arid, shitty planet. After a decade of making her rounds, she'd grown rather cynical and bored with her tactic for survival. Groaning, she rubbed her face in the cockpit, glowering through the tinted observation shield as she knew leaving her starship entitled getting in all of her armor and putting the kriffing mempo on. Had she not been wanted by the Empire for years, she might've taken it off, but there were still loyalists who would be able to pick her apart from other Jakonans.

Asakaze Shand was a traitor to the Empire, supplying them with bodies for years before renouncing her alliance and allegiance to the emperor. Originally, she had done it for her people, convinced that they could weather through the onslaught since the Empire was at war with the Rebel Alliance. Her anticipation was slapped right off her face and her entire clan was massacred, her escape nothing short of a miracle and only due to her abilities with her Chi. Despite the loss, House Shand was well known across the galaxy for less savory reasons and she took full advantage of their notorious reputation.

Exhaustion was the best way to explain how Asa felt, a deep bone weary existence that was the same day in and day out. Find the quarry, bring them in, get paid in credits, fuel up the ship, begin the rounds once again. What else was she to do? Even if the Empire was officially defeated, Asakaze was disgraced, no one was waiting for the Shand Shogun to return after she'd led their clan to ruin.

I was a girl. Why did they expect me to know what to do? I was barely 20.

Rattling around her, the Ryu had seen better days and without constant maintenance, routine checkups, and a mechanic's knowledgeable hand Asa was on a countdown from when the starship would kick the bucket. Pinching between her brows she didn't bother stifling her sigh as she slapped the radio on the dash, beginning her Nevarro routine. To the Guild, Ronin was an enigma beside the Mandalorian. Honestly, she didn't know how the fuck she'd managed that. Beneath her mempo, Asa was the epitome was anxiety and awkwardness. What others perceived as calm, poised reservation was actually Asa not having any idea what to say, quietly simmering behind her mask as she wanted to do nothing more than shrink into nothingness.

Voices chanting began to filter through the radio, repeating the word simultaneously before a voice broke through with a wry wistfulness. Asa rose from her seat, robes fluttering around her as she darted to the side, throwing her arms out in a futile attempt to pump herself up.

"I can't stop this feeling

Deep inside of me-"

Dropping from the cockpit, down to the hull of the ship, Asa belted the song, all but screaming it as she grabbed her armor and began forcing it on. Her eyes leered at the cryo chamber during the guitar rift, pointing toward the ceiling as the horns blared between the lyrics, almost as if she were conducting it herself. Spinning around to a nonexistent audience, Asa cocked a smile and winked - at the wall, but in her head it was a fan. In her dreamscape, Asa had been a performer and singer - reality wasn't quite as fun. Asa dressed whilst the song continued, the final lines corresponding with the mempo being set in place, her own mellow voice replaced with the oni-setting on her modulator, intentionally deep and scathing.

Frowning when the song actually ended, Asa's shoulders sagged in her kimono, and she grumbled to herself, trotting to the controls beside the dock of her ship. Despite the attempt to put a little pep in her step, this hellish repetition was all that was keeping her clinging to sanity as she spun around on a carousel that never ended, constantly having her leer out at the same faces, despite the years that had passed. Asa didn't even know when she would be ready to finally step off the carousel, but supposed her Chi would eventually guide her in the right direction, just as her father had claimed. Thus far, her Chi had done nothing but fail her. This resulted in a deep-seated cynicism in the woman. For all her abilities, they hadn't once saved her.

Asa had the worst fucking luck.

Currently, her life was testament to that - a Shogun turned bounty hunter who had to hide her face despite the fall of the Empire. Any solace she had was on the Ryu in the brief lulls between planets.

Opening the port, hands cocked on her hips, Asa let out a long sigh which did not properly register through the modulator on her mask. Although it filtered the atmosphere, she could feel the heat radiating off her skin beneath the loose kimono sleeves, the sulfur was infectious like a plague. Her entire ship reeked of it, the rotten egg stench permeating from all her attire, even the hilt of her katana. Yet another of the listless charms of Nevarro. Sauntering her way to the cantina, humming the song to herself, she untucked her arm from her kimono sleeve and levied it on the inside of the fold as she lazily trotted back into town.

Eyes traced her crimson form, wary and skittish. The irony. Beneath the folds of fabric was a lean woman, but a woman nonetheless. Her sandals gave her another few inches, giving her the appearance of being close to 5'10", a seemingly average height. In tandem with her armor hidden beneath her robes, she appeared much broader than she actually was. Sure, Asa had muscle and was a honed mercenary, but she wasn't thick or imposing. The walk was a big part of it and Asa moved with a lazy nonchalance. By this point, most people strayed clear of her path. Even when she'd first come to Nevarro, anyone who glimpsed her mempo was eager to flee before her. Originally, she'd found this amusing, but now she was growing rather sick of it. After years of it, watching people scatter like leaves in the wind was harrowing and lonely.

The cantina was a dusty hovel, filled to the brim with untrustworthy scum that Asa had come to consider acquaintances. Despite the fact they'd trade her in for a good sum of credits, they all had stories which she collected and transcribed to kanji. Poetry could be found in even the worst settings and as a Jakonan, songs and lore had never fled her heart. Her fingers itched to play her flute for an audience, but she didn't trust anyone enough to remove her mempo. Given that it had been a decade, Asa had resigned herself to accepting her fate alone. In hyperspace, only the stars listened to the song of the shakuhachi.

Grimacing beneath her mask, she noticed that Karga was exceptionally thrilled that afternoon. Usually, the only thing that made him excited was money and prospects that earned him better commission. His dark eyes brightened at the sight of her - or Ronin. Given the number of years they'd known one another, she'd established a baseline for quarries she would and wouldn't take. Imperial remnants were a no-go as were bounties that he'd doled to the Mandalorian. Given that she still owed Mando a debt, she was not keen on digging the hole further. Additionally, Asa had declined many high paying bounties when her Chi screamed in opposition. Karga poked at her, stating that 'Mando will take them' as if there was a deeper rivalry between them when there wasn't. Asa respected the Mandalorian and wanted nothing to do with him. Honestly, Mandalorians were bad news and she regretted owing a debt, but that was the way of the Bushido.

"Ronin!" Karga greeted animatedly, slapping the table that he habited since their original meeting. Asa wished it was raining now, she loved the petrichor and humidity in comparison to the heat that leeched all moisture from her, despite the folds of her kimono making an attempt to covet it. "How was your hunt?"

He didn't actually care as long as it was successful. "Ready for offload," she retorted, glancing around the sparsely populated common house. Honestly, this was one of the few rare times she'd noticed that it was this empty.

"Are you staying around for some sabacc?" Karga chatted idly, thumbing the breast pocket on his robes, eliciting her attention. Eyes tracing, she noticed the outline of a rectangle, perhaps metal, but she couldn't say.

"Depends. What do you have available?"

Her heart was humming with a caustic rhythm, searing with each thrum as she stood, unable to hear the meaningless words the Guild Master was gracing her with. Instead, the hairs on her arms raised and she drew a shuddering breath, an invisible force laying against her shoulder blades and chest, stealing the air from her chest and threatening to strangle her. Something was coming. Given the disconcerting method in which her Chi screamed, she was not willing to stick around to see what it was.

Karga had pushed a few fobs in front of him, mentioning something about the Guild lolling into an even pace and the pucks would only pace decently rather than the typical rate. Given how uncomfortable Asa was with her Chi smothering her, she swiped them up without listening to where she might have to go. "Deliver my credits to my ship. I'll wait for the offload," she instructed sternly, interrupting yet another of the man's infamous tangents as he brimmed with excitement.

"Happy hunting, Ronin!"

Now that was strange. Pausing halfway through the cantina, Asa craned her neck to glance back at the humming man. Karga had his moods, but very rarely had he ever been so earnest in his wish for 'happy hunting'. He was practical, not fanciful. Today must have been a spectacular day for him to be wishing her a successful hunt. Such chimerical encouragement was never needed for someone like Asa. She turned in her fobs within the allotted time frame and had never required 'luck' in order to do this. Given how foul her luck was, Asa was glad she was capable of acquiring her quarries. Most weren't talented in fighting and her upbringing had been in both academia and warfare. Jakon prized itself on being a civilization prepared for any challenge, be that battle in scholarly, artistic, or war pursuits.

Rather than thank him, Asa ducked her head and ignored him. Not because she was partial to being rude, but between the disquiet of her Chi and the oddity of Karga trying to imbibe luck in her favor, Asa was frowning beneath her mempo.

Usually, she might wait until the cryo slabs were unloaded, but the trembling cacophony of Chi propelled her legs out. No way in the galaxy she was sticking around while her body screeched in dismay. Rather, she carved the familiar path across Nevarro City, the only settlement on this awful planet, and her cursed prison stuck in a distorted ground hog's day rendition of hell, constantly on repeat. A headache seared in the back of her head, which she couldn't abate by touching her brow with the mempo on. Growling, her strides lengthened and she made haste back toward the Ryu.

"Ronin!" A vaguely familiar modulated voice entreated her, a rich baritone tainted by the metallic ring of the mechanics in his helmet. She had only heard it a few rare times and never in length, as the pair barely had reason to exchange conversation. Truthfully, Asa was somewhat terrified of the Mandalorian. He was a mountain of steel, only a few inches taller than her when she was in full regal, but he wasn't playing at what she had for nigh on a decade. He was the ruthless bounty hunter who'd take any quarry in, whereas she had restrictions. He was an absolute murder machine. And he was standing just a few paces behind her.

Thanking the God-beasts for her mempo, she swallowed hard and craned her neck to glance back at him, skin paling. The glare of the sunlight caught on his new armor, entirely of beskar, imbibing the unpainted silver steel with a bright reflective glow. Had her mempo not been translating the light through a filter, she might have been momentarily dazzled by the man, who was now a stunning suit of Mandalorian pride.

"Your debt."

Asa's heart skipped a beat as she gazed out from beneath the rim of her rice-hat. Even if she was disgraced, she still upheld the values of a samurai, just as her father had raised her to do. A life without any guidance was not a life at all, but simply an existence as a ghost. Despite the lucrative business that Asa now found herself in, she'd always followed her tenets. Repaying debts was one of those, recalling the snarling visage of the Wampa as it threatened to bear down on her with massive, clawed paws - to rip her limb from limb, crack her bones to drink the marrow, and feed on her flesh. Asa was about to commit seppuku to escape the pain of that demise when the Mandalorian's pulse rifle boomed so loud that she thought the entire cavern was going to collapse.

Asa had been about to die, but the only tell from that day was the ragged scar down her right armor where the Wampa's claws had snatched at her.

"I require payment."

Of all the fucking times.

Her Chi had relaxed, the eye of the storm giving her a momentary reprieve from the mystery that had upset her originally. The war drumming of her heart quieted and she stared toward the abysmal T visor of her counterpart. Two years had passed since she offered the life debt and now he was coming to collect. There was no way that Asa could refuse, even if that meant going against what her Chi was urging. A debt was a debt and could be collected when and wherever. Asa could not set the terms.

"Very well," she finally offered, her voice quiet, her vocoder transitioning her own mellow voice and making it grit like sand beneath a boot. "What do you require of me?"

"Assistance," he retorted curtly, but betrayed nothing farther. "You are not fond of the Empire?"

Not fond? The Empire that had taken her father, her people, and subsequently ravaged her home? "That's a good way to phrase it," she snorted, modulator crackling at the edges of her wry laugh, the shrugging of her shoulders more indicative of the chuckle than the noise.

"There are remnants here. They have something I want."

An arched brow was poised at no one, as her mask didn't move with the expressions her own haggard face made. Rather, she let the laziness slip into her posture as she leaned back and tapped her thumb on the pommel of her sword, tinkling the charms. "A debt may be paid in any way you see fit," she started, eyes raking over the line of the man's shoulders trying to glean more intention. "However, this seems to fall short of a life for a life." Alternatively, she would still owe him if it were as simple as killing a few Imperials. Hell, she would have done that for free.

"The Guild might have a few words with us after."

Ah. Well, now that made more sense. This mission, even for any of the other hunters who greatly disliked the Empire, would not stake their livelihood on helping Mando. Especially since many of them loathed him. Asa still had enough wits to be afraid of him and what he was capable of, but exhaled deeply enough that he caught her sigh this time. "A debt must be paid," she relinquished, wondering if her life would always chance chapter by chapter, decade by decade. Somehow, as she just passed 30, she had a feeling her body was going to begin rejecting change. Maybe it was time to get out of the bounty hunting business.

He nodded, swiftly spinning on his heel to do an about face, leaving for Asa to follow. Daylight still shining down on the city, locals milled about and stayed clear of the leery pair. A throng of distance was set between them, an invisible buffer of at least six feet maintained more by Asa than Mando. Cutting a corner into a narrow, shadowed alleyway, she was forced to close some of the space, half wondering if Mando was going to just kill her here and dump his last bit of competition out of Nevarro into one of the neighboring waste bins.

He could have done that on Hoth and he didn't, Asa reminded herself, grip still tight on her katana as she followed me into the belly of Nevarro City. With the sun dipping on the horizon, the light couldn't claw its way in between the tightly packed walls and doors. A cloak of shadows played between the walls, dancing mutely on the back of the Mandalorian's grey bucket. His cloak obscured the rest of his shiny retinue, dashed by the pulse rifle that was most certainly taller than her.

The Mandalorian was not a huge man, not in height. Being just a few paces behind him, Asa spent more time observing him than she had cared in the past, worried that he would notice her staring despite the anonymity of her mempo. He was seemingly average, his boots and helmet adding an additional inch or two, shoulders broadened by his armor just as her own made her look impressive. This was no illusion, as hers was, for the Mandalorian's armor accentuated his vitals and protected them, the beskar layers thin in comparison to hers. Despite the added padding, the Mandalorian was broad, lean as a whip, and didn't require another head of height to strike fear into any who glanced over at the impassive, nebulous T visor.

Coming to the end of the alley, Mando paused and glance both ways like a child about to cross a busy street. Warily, he continued after taking a right. Asa had never bothered coming into the city, not this deep, and she expected if her mempo wasn't filtering the air she would be able to smell the metallic reek around her. From parts to trash, inner Nevarro City was a rotting cesspool and they didn't pass so much as a soul on their secretive mission - which aside from killing Imps and acquiring something, she had no idea what it entailed.

He bent over a dumpster of scrap and Asa dared to move within a pace of him, glancing down to where his visor was set. Within was an eggshaped container, the white paint chipped and flaked, lid open. If she had to guess, she'd say it was a repulsor lift of a sort, but it was tiny and akin to a bassinet. A soft song played from the dumpster, eliciting enough of her attention that she bent down past him to touch it. Gloved fingers met durasteel and the music hitched, a gentle clarinet weeping in her ears. Chi. She knew it, as anyone with Chi had a song of their own. Otherwise, the only time she heard Chi in the form of music was during great strife or occasion, like the day that the Empire had attacked her people, the maddening roar of their death march vibrating in her brain.

"Come," Mando ordered, snapping away from the discarded pram and for a fleeting moment, she thought she noticed his shoulders sag as he released a belly deep sigh.

They scaled a building in the dull sunset light, the blue sky being chased by cotton candy pink and coral orange, turning the puffs of cloud into candy. Despite all that Nevarro lacked, there were redeeming moments - probably because she couldn't smell the sulfur, but the sky had always been a fixation amidst the obsidian and ozone.

Mando had his rifle propped against his shoulder, laying prone as she daydreamed and got away with it since he couldn't see the misty expression on her face. A solemn tap to the side of his helmet and he was listening to a conversation she couldn't hear, glaring down the infrared scope as Asa wondered what the cottony candy clouds tasted like. It had been absolutely forever since she'd had sweets like back on Jakon. She missed the red bean paste fillings and the true taste of green matcha instead of the cheap imitations she usually got her hands on.

He drew the rifle back, his thumb having been subconsciously tracing circles against the barrel as he listened on. A strange quirk that Asa noted; an odd little bit of comfort the man tried to instill in himself as they worked on recon.

With their feet back on the ashen soil of the street, they approached a dark teal door which was streaked with lines of grimy rust. The roads were never truly quiet, the din of the busier sectors a dull hum like a hive of busy worker bees who just weren't occupying this sector of the combs.

"Wait here," he directed, gesturing to the alley flanking the door.

Asa leaned against the wall, hearing the sharp rap of his fist plunking against the door, before a click and whizzing was accented by the crunch and crackle of frayed mechanical equipment. Stomping back in her direction, Mando tossed the droid's retinue on the ground and grabbed his weapon, tilting his helmet in an unimpressed manner at her candor. With the gust of an invisible wind, her muscles let out a wistful bellow and she stood up straight, reaching down toward her obi as the premonition of battle whispered delicately in her ears.

"Check the perimeter," icy fingers raked down her back like the claws of the Wampa, the poorly modulated voices of stormtroopers causing a seething rage that laid dormant for so long to come bubbling to the surface, chasing away the unpleasant chill with searing wrath. Asa did not wait for Mando to make the first move, her body moving on its own accord as the curve of her blade left the ornate sheathe.

Mando was more interested in placing a detonator than dealing with the pair of stormtroopers that had come out to scout the source of the original noise. Her approach was covered by the boom of the bomb, the browned armor of the Imps akin to weathered parchment as they turned tail and sprinted back into the building.

She was the wind through the mountains and trees, flowing as gently as a brook but could possess the ferocity of a raging river, and she was swift like flame, crackling down to embers until she was stoked with fuel. Now, she had plenty of fuel, sliding up behind the troopers who were distracted by the flashing lights, electricity guttering to just the dull winking of the emergency lighting, as many synapses and circuits had been fried in the explosion. None noticed the flap of a crimson kimono, nor the nonexistent click of her sandals as Amagumo arched, the bolts of lightning rippling gold in the flashes of sputtering light.

Katanas were made for slashing, not puncturing. Wielding one correctly took years of practice, being keenly aware of the perfect manner to arch the curve of the steel in order to achieve maximum rending capacity. Asa had always been more inclined toward the blade versus her siblings. Haku had preferred blasters. Kit with a sniper rifle. The ancient blade of their people was a symbol and tradition and rarely utilized in battle except for those who were blessed with strong Chi, like the Jedi. Otherwise, the piece of metal was useless unless utilized in close quarters.

The first figure slumped, plastoid parting like butter beneath a heated blade. Unlike a lightsaber, Tamahagane did not cauterize, and blood spurted in a macabre fountain as the neck and head slowly slid off as the body finally crumpled to its knees. Rounding on her, the second trooper raised his rifle in defense, gasping as Amagumo savagely bit into his blaster and severed it in half. With a crescent flourish, the tip of the curved blade slipped up and drove into the gorget of the trooper, Amagumo drinking its fill as the Imperial soldier gurgled and choked on his own blood, crimson basking the blade in a hellish curtain as it slowly dripped down toward the hilt.

Mando was in the hole that he had blasted, watching her fight as she withdrew her sword and wiped the blood of her enemies off on the bottom of her robes. Wearing red meant that her foes could not see the blood, be that her own or that of her enemies. By this point, Asa was so accustomed to the gore laden displays and paintings she created that the garnet pools that she stepped through had little effect on her.

A flanking door opened and Mando's helmet whipped, an arm snapping out with such precision and swiftness that Asa barely had the time to blink before the room grew hot with the light of his blaster and the trooper flopped to the floor in a plastic heap. Of course, she had known that the Mandalorian was good, but aside from their encounter on Hoth she had never seen him in action. Just the speed such a broad man moved in set her teeth on end, wondering if she would have been able to dodge or parry the hipfire had he rounded on her. Kriff, just thinking about it made her skin pallid and a cold sweat break out on the back of her neck.

Listing through the dull grey, medicinal halls of the building, Mando took the lead, as she was here as support and had no true idea what the 'thing' he wanted was. A haunting song played in her ears, which she tried to swat away like annoying gnats, but the clarinet's vibrato grew louder, but not in a good way. Instead, the melody quavered as if the musician was taking constant, trembling breaths with the inability to fill their diaphragm properly. Cool dissonant melodies, minor thirds and tritones, there was no musicality - just noise. Something was very wrong with the person who the song belonged to.

Mando knelt just on the other side of a doorway, lifting his vambrace, and shooting his whipcord launcher. Jetting out like a javelin, the forked tongue on the end hooked into the edge of a trooper's rear chestplate, the Mandalorian utilizing the leverage of his kneeling position to jerk the soldier down, retracting the grappling hook as the trooper slid back, disoriented and right into the vibro-blade waiting in the Mandalorian's other hand.

Without even glancing in her direction, Mando dropped the body and continued prowling forward. Asa paused just to glance down, grimacing at the precision of the kill. Despite being freaked out by it, she found herself highly impressed with how streamline the man's kills were. He didn't dally or take solace in what he did, rather he just pummeled through with honed experience.

She was a few paces behind him when he shot open a door, fire returned and actually finding purchase as his shoulder jerked back after his pauldron caught the brunt of the attack. While the trooper had been reacting in self-defense and in light of a Mandalorian being inside his station of duty, she knew Mando was pissed. He shot the soldier square in the chest before glaring at the spectacled doctor who tittered nervously in the corner.

If seeing a Mandalorian breaking into his lab wasn't intimidating enough, the hellish lowlight glare on her own mask made him even fainter, gripping the side of the gurney he flanked as she stared. What was this? She raked her eyes over the uniform the doctor was wearing, clearly of an Imperial officer, his hand flying out as Mando turned the barrel of his handgun toward him.

Asa couldn't hear the conversation between them, her head slowly turning as the clarinet's pitiful solo warbled in her ears. Her legs carried her on their own accord, hat tilting downward as she gazed at the source of the song. Not an adult, but a tiny green child that was unconscious and strapped into a whizzing medical machine. "Ā ko-" oh, child - she whispered, reaching to smooth over the fronds of fuzzy white hair on top of a wrinkled brow. Despite the youth, she knew that this being was much older than appearances betrayed.

"Don't touch it," Mando snapped at her, forcing her hand back as he pried the machine off the baby.

"It's a baby," Asa retorted defensively, whipping her mask up toward him to challenge the Mandalorian for the first time. "You do not know what it is."

"And you have a better idea?" he growled, leveling his blaster toward her abdomen, daring her to do any more than what had been agreed upon.

"Hai, I do, Mandalorian," Asa hissed back, but there was no time for them to argue, her Chi kicked her heart rate, plunging what had been a steady pace to a shockingly dormant state. Pupils blowing beneath her mempo she cocked her head. "We don't have time for this. More are coming."

Mando grunted his agreement and turned his blaster away from her.

"Protect the ko, I will take the lead," Asa knew that the only place they'd be able to go next was the space-port where their paths would diverge and they'd leave Nevarro for good. Still, when she glanced at the little bundle of canvas, she knew deep in her heart that she could not leave the baby with the Mandalorian in good conscious. Her father had once told her that her Chi would guide her and now she stood beside a child with such strong abilities that she'd heard his song from across the city.

Thumb tracing the ribbons on Amagumo, her free hand brushed her obi where a few other weapons were stashed. A metallic cylinder was inconspicuously tucked beside her shoto, a weapon that she'd not touched since she had acquired the title of Shogun. This was not the weapon of a samurai, but as her Chi bellowed in her chest, she knew it might be time to wield it finally. Amagumo had served her well, but her time as a samurai was coming to an end.

The child needed her.

[sapphichollow]

Could I get a Swedes ship please? 👉👈 I’m an INTj and a Slytherin, I study veterinary medicine and I love animals a lot! I have a lot of pet chickens that I adore very dearly. At first I come off as cold and stiff or just not talkative but once I get comfortable with someone I love to chat with them or just listen to them talk about literally anything, I love my friends very dearly and I love showing physical affection and I tend to pick up little gifts that I think they’d like-

I ship you with.......Otto! Otto never really considered studying in higher education. He was never given the chance, so he never bothered to think about it. So when you reveal that, on top of being devoted to animals,(:3) you study Veterinary medicine, the dude Is in awe. He’s caught glances of your work, often when cleaning or passing by. It’s a lot, and for that he’s proud of you. How you can wrap your head around it all is beyond him, but he’s glad you’re pursuing something you’re passionate about. Him and his  brothers grew up in a very rural setting, mainly on a farm. So he considers helping you with the chickens a daily activity. But it’s never a chore with you.  When they were children, Oscar often dodged Chicken duty- would rather skim rocks by the creek. So to pick up the slack, Otto had to do it ontop of his own work in the fields- he hated it.. But with you... it’s just different. Seeing your face light up as you interact with your feathery children puts him at ease. You seem so happy, so glad to keep them.  It makes his chest swell with pride. In the early days of it all, he’d keep it locked away, but the closer you get, the more he shows it. He doesn’t hide the smile, the way his mouth opens slightly in spite of himself.       

When you first meet him, your coldness is equally matched with his own. It’s just how it is with him, and his brothers. Suspicious of strangers, knit in the tight web of brotherhood- you know how it is. The fact that he’s an assassin and knows how the world, how people operate is part of it. People can lie, cheat, maim.  But slowly, surely. You both start to open up. Otto thinks it’s your strength that did it. You stand up for what you feel is right. You aren't afraid to back down. Perhaps someone pokes fun at his scar. He’s used to weird glances and people making jokes, so it’s not as if he’s affected by it. In fact, he only reached for his gun out of faint irritation. But one look at you as you show his perpetrators up and his walls start to fade.  Not much, mind. A dent. But a dent is a start. Things just rolled into place, albeit gradually from there. He started to be comfortable to sit with you, and you him. After a while he starts to talk more- stilted English, but English nonetheless.                                    

When books inevitably come up in conversation, the chat rolls on. He talks passionately about the books he’s been reading. They’re mainly Swedish, but he offers to try to translate if you’d like to read it. Sometimes you’ll have reading sessions, and he’ll sit with you, quietly absorbed. A comfortable silence hanging above. He doesn’t mind it. He just enjoys your company. 

God he’s surprised when you give him gifts. He doesn’t know what to say- bless him!  He stares at you for a moment, and then just gets up, wordlessly and gives you a long hug. You seem to know exactly what he would like. After years of work with the commission, birthdays, and special events just.. fade a way. It’s not that he doesn’t like to give gifts. But it’s been so long since they’ve lived ‘normal’ lives that it just doesn't seem important. So when you do.. just.. damn. And it’s not even a special occasion!  That very night, he lay in bed like a log, holding the little gift in his hand, just admiring it quietly. He catches himself smiling at this small token, something he undoubtedly treasures forever. 

The fact that you can box is enough to reassure him that you’re chill. The same level of respect is just there. Axel can box a little, so can he, and Oscar prefers knives and guns but you. You’re pretty great.  He’s 100% down if you want to take up boxing again. They used to practice on huge sacks of flour from their old mill before the Commission put them out of their misery and trained them with proper bags. So just say the word and he’ll put something together.                           

Once you’re both comfortable with each other, you have movie nights in the evenings. It’s perfect. Sometimes you’ll cook something nice to eat, and the two of you will sit and snuggle on the sofa. One word. CUDDLING. It’s the one part of his day that he actually looks forward to, especially if his brothers decide to leave the two of you to it. They have other things to get on with like.... gun maintenance..... and figuring out new ways to tease Otto about how devoted he is to you (mainly Oscar). But it goes over his head.

I hope you like it!

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Bill and Jessica

This is a continuation @skrsgrd-my-boi requested. So here ya go. Super fluffy and some curse words.

This is Bill and Jessica and they're just gonna be happy overload

For the first one go here: https://anastasiaskarsgard.tumblr.com/post/185008455366/i-sooo-need-you-to-write-about-what-would-happen

“Honey I’m home!” Jessica yelled as she walked in the condo, a few minutes past 3 am.

She’d been drinking since that afternoon and had misplaced her iPhone, somewhere along the way. Therefore, she had no clue that Bill had been blowing up her phone all night. She tripped over some shoes in the hallway and ate shit. It wasn’t too bad of a fall, but any type of fall, when you’re an adult is rough. Lucky for her, she was wasted, so everything was just hilarious.

Bill got up and walked out of his room, to find Jessica, lying on the ground laughing hysterically. He hadn’t been able to sleep anyway and had been laying there, rehearsing what he was going to say to her when she got home, but now he was just happy she was back safe.

He went to help her up, but instead of getting up, she pulled him down on top of her.

“Dammit! Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all night! I was worried, sick!” Bill spat at her.

“Billy Willy I might have drunk too much and lost my phone when the sun was still up. So there’s that. And then I was a drinking safari with Angel because she liberated herself from her evil boyfriend, the Dreamkiller. Terrifying guy. No fun at all.” Jessica hiccuped. “Excuse my hiccups, but I love you.” She grabbed bill’s face and pulled him into a deep kiss, interrupted here and there with a hiccup.

Bill was rigid at first, but he really loved Jessica’s drunk ass and couldn’t really be mad, she couldn't answer the phone, if she didn’t even have it.

He pulled away and met her eyes, “you could of at least called and let me know you’re ok.”

“Will do Billy Willy. 10-4 over and out.”

“I’m serious. I love you, and I worry. I know what a drunken jackass you can be, and I’m not saying you can’t go out and get smashed with your friends. I wish you would bring me along so that I can take care of you,” Bill said as he peppered her face with kisses.

“A-ok. Scouts honor,” Jessica tried to salute, but just poked herself in the eye somehow. “Ouch!”

Bill tenderly kissed her eye. “Can I carry you to bed?”

“Only if you’re naked,” Jessica said with a mischievous grin.

Bill had only been wearing boxers, so he quickly was nude and hoisted Jessica up into a bridal hold, carrying her to their room.

“Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer!” Jessica sang out.

“You are THE MOST obnoxious drunk girl that ever lived,” Bill said, rolling his eyes.

“Bitch! I am serenading you, and you call me names? Shame on you! Shame your cow! Shame your whole family!” Jessica giggled, but when she looked at Bill, he looked utterly lost. “Don’t tell me that you never saw Mulan!”

The beautiful Swede looked just as lost as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Put me down. I must go to my secret movie stash!” She said, kicking her legs.

He set her down, and she ran out of the bedroom to get her movie while Bill brushed his teeth. He turned to see her walking in the room carrying a tape box. He spat and asked, “is that really a VHS?”

“Yes. I have all my old Disney movies. I’m not a heathen. I can’t believe you never saw this classic. And you call yourself an artist. Bah!”

Bill beamed at Jessica as she talked to the DVD VCR combo trying to make it work with sloppy drunk impatience. She shooshed him and pressed her ear to the machine, with the cutest little concentration face, Bill had ever seen.

“What are you doing, Jess?”

“I’m making sure, it’s not eating it.... I think we are good.”

She stood up, quickly shedding all her clothes, and bounded over to the bed before diving on it, bouncing around giggling.

Bill loved how silly and free-spirited she could be. He had been like that once, but after playing a few very dark, disturbing roles, he found it more and more difficult to let go, and act a fool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d met Jessica after an event she had decorated, when his then-girlfriend, had gotten jealous and abandon him there. Bill was rather intoxicated, and his phone was dead, so he had no way to call a ride, and didn’t particularly care. He sat down to smoke when he heard a yelp. He quickly got up and ran towards the direction of the sound, imagining several terrible scenarios, he could be running into. What he found was a breathtakingly beautiful woman, clinging to a ladder that had fallen over against the wall, about to crash down at any moment. He hurried over and righted the ladder, holding it so she could climb down.

Jessica turned to thank her hero, and when she looked into his eyes, her eyes went wide, and she laughed.

”What?” Bill asked self consciously.

“Shut the fuck up! Bill Skarsgård did not just save me! Oh my God, I just told Bill Skarsgård to shut the fuck up! I’m so sorry, my bad. I should be internalizing all this, but I’m an asshole.” She hid her face in her hands, shaking her head.

“No worries. What were you doing on that ladder?” He asked.

Jessica explained she was tearing down the party now and was working. She owned a company that made any theme, or vision you had, a reality. Want a flapper fundraiser? Jess would come in with feather boas hanging from giant white balloons, that lit up. Champagne bottles turned upside down, spraying balloon bubbles, in a cascade. Make amazing centerpieces and turn a plain ballroom, into a scene out of the Great Gatsby...

Bill found her very easy to talk to and followed her around holding the ladder as she told him about all the different parties she’d done and hilarious anecdotes of her adventures.

“I’m just talking away and although I’m not complaining, why is a movie star helping me?” Jessica asked him, biting her lip nervously.

“Well, for one you’re a lot of fun to talk to. Also, I’m learning a lot about event planning, which I imagine is useful, but my phone is dead, and my date abandon me,” he said, making a pouty face.

Jessica couldn't believe anyone would abandon this sweet, beautiful man, but she knew the bitch he was dating, so it wasn't a complete shock. She knew all about him.

You see, although Jessica was hiding it well if Bill knew her better, he knows she talked a lot when she was nervous. She was worried because she was 1000% a Bill stan and even had a Tumblr dedicated to him. So outside she was quirky and cool, inside she was losing her fucking mind and had died and been brought back to life like 50 times that evening.

”Use my phone.” she said, handing him her phone.

Bill took the phone and stared at it blankly.

”You can use my Uber account or google a cab. Or you probably only like limos huh? You can also rent a car, and they'll pick you up, or I can give you a ride in my awesome ass van, but that'll be quite some time since I have to get all the decor down. I don't have to clean or anything. Just get my shit and go.”

”you wouldn't mind?”

Jessica nearly fell over. Her mind raced as she thought about driving with Bill in her work van. It was taking all her power, not to fangirl the fuck out, but he was surprisingly easy going and seemed like he just wanted to be a normal person. ”No! You can help me carry stuff so there are fewer trips and we leave sooner.”

Bill didn't want to leave sooner, but he nodded, and they went around collecting everything, laughing and chatting. When it was time to go, Bill panicked at the thought of never seeing her again but reminded himself he had a girlfriend. He climbed in the van and told her the hotel he was staying at while she turned on her Spotify.

”Okay, so I have a girlfriend.” he blurted out.

”Not a very nice one, but to each his own I suppose. Don't worry tho Bill; I wasn't planning on taking advantage of you.” she quipped.

Bill blushed and asked, ”well can you text me your number, in case I ever need to decorate an event or need to laugh?”

She could not believe Bill motherfucking Skarsgard was asking for her number. She handed him her phone, to text himself and tried to focus on not swooning so hard, she crashed the van.

Soon she dropped him off at his hotel, and it wasn't until he was safely inside she screamed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill crawled in bed, and snuggled up to Jessica, happier than hed ever been in his life. She was the light to the dark, and as he watched the movie, listening to her commentary, singing along word for word to every song, he wondered how long was polite, to ask someone to marry them.

[dark-and-kawaii]

Akashi and Kise scenario catching their female partner dancin in the kitchen making food while listening to the guardians of the galaxy soundtrack? I really enjoy older music when it comes to romance! It probably sounds stupid but this would make my day, Kiwi! I think this would be the cutest thing ever. Activate that fluff button! EaRth fire september is a good song that puts me in a good mood to if you could add taht to one. If this is to dumb you can overlook this

Anonymous said:Oh! For the request with the dancing to guardians can you make the dancing silly. Like good old fun dancing, nothing sexual by any means. I just really like this idea and i’m sad no one else has ever requested something like this. Thank you if you don’t overlook this

*slaps you softly* ＼(º □ º l|l)/

THIS IS NOT STUPID!!!!! IF ANYTHING THIS IS THE CUTEST FREAKING REQUEST EVER!!!!!! I loooooooooooove love love older music and dancing! 

Fun fact: Kiwi listens to Earth Wind and Fire - September when depressed. 

No seriously, this is the best request ever! Like seriously! Why would I overlook such a golden request? (⌒▽⌒)♡

I’m so sorry this took literally forever! I was slacking for a long time! Please enjoy these two fluffy scenarios my little berry! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

*snaps fingers and takes your hand to spin you around while singing*

Songs used: Hooked On A Feeling - Blue Swede ♡ September -  Earth Wind and Fire ♡ Come And Get Your Love - Redbone ♡  Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrel

WARNING: MAJOR CUTENESS ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

Kise Ryouta 

“~I’m hooked on a feeling! Bum buh bun bum! I’m high on believing! That you’re in love with meeee!~”

It was the day after Kise had proposed to you, and you were currently high on life and love.

Grabbing the spatula you sang into as if it were a microphone.

“~Lips as sweet as candy! It’s taste is on my mind!~”

Since last night was a breathtaking night due to your now lovely fiance, you had decided that it was your turn to surprise Kise with breakfast in bed.

Twirling around in nothing but a pair of yoga shorts and Kise’s dress shirt you swayed your hips back and forth as you shook your shoulders and hair making your way back to the stove as you continued to sing into the spatula.

Flipping the pancakes you threw your arms up in the air as you pounced around the kitchen looking for a plate.

Little to you knowledge, Kise had woken up from the music and the clunking going on in the kitchen. Being the curious blonde he is he had made his was towards the kitchen. Poking his out a little he saw in clear sight that you were dancing and singing as you made breakfast. Oh how he wished he had his phone to capture this moment, but he didn’t. So he stayed hidden as he continued to watch you prance around, so he could imprint this moment into his head.

You were so cute though as your kneeled down with the spatula singing Hooked On A Feeling as you bobbed your head around. Your hair was freely moving around your face, you just didn’t have a care in the world. ‘My little ____-cchi is so precious! This is making me want to join her!’

The song has came to an end, but alas a new one had came on! September by Earth, Wind and Fire.

The mood was so intense that you had started giggling to yourself spinning the spatula in your hand. “~Do you remember the 21st night of September! Love was changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away-” You slid the spatula under the fluffy pancakes flipping them onto the plate in your other hand, at the same time your hips were moving in a rotating motion. Flipping the last pancake you pelvic thrusted the air. “~Hey hey hey Ba de ya~” Placing the plate down on the counter next to the stove a grin bigger than your heart was plastered on your joyful plate.

Whirling around you were surprisingly met with hands on your hips- “~Remember how we knew love was here to stay~”, Kise could no longer hold back, he needed to join in all the fun as he sang the song with you.

Kise’s grip tightened so could pick you up and twirl you both around in the kitchen, guiding you down from the air he placed you on his feet so he could guide you around the room, dancing hand in hand.

No two people have been more in love.

“Ryouta! I was going to surprise you in bed with breakfast! You should still be in bed!”

Kise laughed aloud to your comment “surprise you”, he was laughing so hard that tears brimmed at the corner of his eyes.

“____-cchi, don’t you think it’s kind of hard to surprise someone when there is music blaring.”

Your were baffled… was the music really that loud?

“O-Oh… W-Well, go back to bed so i can give you a nice surprise Ryouta!”

“___-cchi this is the best surprise to wake up too! Honestly, I don’t think i’ll ever have another gloomy day after this!”

You sighed in defeat, “I love you Ryouta Kise, but sometimes you are a pain.”

“Awh, but i’m  ____-cchi’s pain!” He winked at you while grabbing the plate of pancakes with you still on his feet as he guided you both back to the bedroom, leaving the music on to blare through the house.

Akashi Seijuro

Nine forty pm, just fifteen more minutes and your sweet boyfriend will be home. You had made your journey to the store an hour beforehand so you could surprise him with a warm home cooked meal, and you’ll be damned if you burnt it tonight!

You were in a particularly good mood so you had decided it would be fun to add some music along with your cooking. Flipping on the stereo you played Come And Get Your Love as you skipped back to the boiling pasta. “~Hellllll with it baby cause you’re fun and you’re mine and you look so divine.~”

Staring at the picture handing on the wall, it was of you and Akashi on the beach holding hands. “~Come and get your love come and get your love now~” Pointing at the picture you were “serenading” Akashi as you staggered around swaying your body back and forth. “~Hellllll what the matter with your feel right don’t you feel right baby~” Throwing your hands up moving them up and down as you lifted one leg to shake it. Yes, you looked like a fool, no, you didn’t care. You were given news today, news you weren’t necessarily expecting but you knew that in your heart this was the perfect timing. Most would say you were crazy for thinking that, but something was telling you that everything would workout.

Slamming your hands on the counters you lifted yourself in the air kicking your feet out in a cheering motion “~La la la la la la la Come and get your love!~” Snatching up the sauce jar you banged it a few times on the counter following the beat of the song loosening the lid.

“Darling I’m ho-” Akashi had just walked through the front door only to be met with booming music. Akashi studied the living space to see if you were there, but you weren’t. Moving around he got a wift of your spaghetti “Ah, looks like someone’s in a good mood then.” Akashi hung his jacket before moving towards the kitchen.

Coming towards the kitchen entrance he saw that you were flipping your hair back and forth, rocking your hips and jumping next to the stove as you clanked the wooden spoon against the pot. “Looks like i picked the right night to ask.” He said to himself quietly so he wouldn’t disturb you.

The next song that came on made Akashi step into the kitchen only a little. He leaned against the frame one hand in his pocket as the other arm rested at his side. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough had come on the stereo, it was one of his favorites and it described his love for you perfectly. Nothing could ever stop him from getting to you.

Swirling around you were met with a smiling Akashi Seijuro, as the song continued on…

♫Listen baby, ain’t no mountain high

Ain’t no valley low, ain’t no river wide enough baby♫

“Hey.” His voice was music of it’s own.

♫If you need me call me no matter where you are

No matter how far don’t worry baby♫

“Hey” you said back as you both looked one another in the eyes, more passion burning in them than ever before. There was definitely something special about this night.

♫Just call my name I’ll be there in a hurry

You don’t have to worry♫

Akashi was still leaning against the door frame as you swayed your hips walking up to him never breaking eye contact as you opened up your arms so you could wrap your arms around his waist. Sliding your arms under his you wrapped your arms all the way around him embracing him warmly. “Would you believe me if i told you that i loved you, Seijuro.”

♫‘Cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough

Ain’t no valley low enough

Ain’t no river wide enough baby

To keep me from getting to you babe♫

Akashi smiled at you as he pushed you back with one arm. “Would you believe me if i told you i loved you, ____?” Reaching out to you with his free hand. All you could do was smile at him, your teeth showing and all as you grasped his hand firmly. Akashi twirled you around once before spinning you into his arms.

Pushing you back again, Akashi gave himself room. “Would you believe me if i told you i want to be with you forever, ____?”

Akashi began kneeling down before you had time to answer his question. Akashi Seijuro revealed his other hand that was hiding in his pocket, and his hand was a small black velvet box.

♫Remember the day I set you free

I told you you could always count on me darling

From that day on, I made a vow

I’ll be there when you want me

Some way, somehow♫

“______, Would you believe me if i asked you to marry me?” Opening the velvet box was a breathtaking diamond ring in the shape of a heart. “Will you marry me, _____?”

♫My love is alive

Way down in my heart

Although we are miles apart

If you ever need a helping hand

I’ll be there on the double

Just as fast as I can

Don’t you know that there ain’t no mountain high enough♫

Tackling him down to the ground your tears flew in the air as doing so. “Yes! Yes Seijuro! I will! I will! Yes!”

Akashi held onto you while you lay on top of him.

“Oh! Sei-kun!” Sitting up on him both legs on either side of his. You wiped away your delighted tears.

“What is it, ____?”

You were a bit stiff but shook it off, “Would you believe me if i told you that you’re going to be dad?”

Akashi’s eyes widen “_____, are you pregnant? You’re pregnant?”

Biting your nail as you smiled and nodded. “Yeah I am.”

Akashi sat up with you still in his lap, looking at the velvet box in his hand he smirked, and in his eyes there was a twinkle. ”We are going to start a family, and you’re going to be the mother of my child.”

“I went in for my birth control and the doctor told me it was too late for that! I know we weren’t planning it but-”

“_____, you will be a beautiful mother, and i can’t wait to give our child the basketball my mother gave to me.” Akashi’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Never in his life did he think he would be a father one day, it frightened him far too much. He didn’t want to become like his old man.

“And you my dear Akashi Seijuro, will make the best father, and i know that your mother is smiling down at you right now.”

The moment Akashi blinked the tears had spilled out, “I think you’re right, _____. I think she is too, and I know she will watch over our child from above, and you my future wife.”

~Admin Kiwi xoxo I hope you liked this ( ; ω ; ) and how i wrote it

[mandowh0re]

Trust

CH 2

Requested: No

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Female Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky while on a mission with Steve and Natasha to bring him back to the States and makes an unexpected connection with him.

Word Count: 1690

Warnings: Some swearing, mention of death (bad guys)

Comments: I will be explaining past events as flashbacks for background as the story continues, this will be written in italics. Some details are purposely left out, but will come to light later in the story. If things don’t make sense, you have an idea for the story, or a request of your own, please don’t hesitate to message me!

BIG thank you to @this-swede-loves-superheroes​ for being my amazing beta!

Happy reading!

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9

You were hovering in the common room in front of the large floor-to-ceiling windows. Your eyes were closed and you were attempting to meditate, it helped you keep your powers in check. But your mind kept going in circles.

You were curled up in your bed, curled up and hugging a pillow to your chest. Your cheeks were stained with tears and your chest was still in pain from your panic attack you were still recovering from.

You heard your door open and close, but you didn’t bother to look at your guest, you knew who it was.

There was a sudden weight on the bed, and a large hand began carding through your hair.

“Wanna talk about it?” Came Steve’s voice from behind you.

You took a deep breath to try and steady your voice, “No, but I have a feeling you are going to make me talk anyways.”

He chuckled, “You’re not wrong.”

You took a few more steadying breaths. You weren’t quite sure where to start. You figured he knew what happened, or at least knew what you did. After all, he would have spoken to the authorities in Bucharest after you all left.

You turned so that you were facing him, but didn’t make eye contact, “It happened again.”

You saw him nod in your peripheral vision, his hands still carding through your hair, “What happened again?”

Damn it. You knew he knew what you meant. But you didn’t want to say it out loud, so you tried just brushing the topic. You should have known better. This was Steve, and he was going to make you talk about it.

“I lost control.” Your voice broke at the end.

You saw him nod again, “Do you know why?”

Sighing, you took another steadying breath, “I was trying to get James-”

“Bucky.”

“Is that really important right now?”

“He wants you to call him Bucky, just trying to break the habit.” Steve smiled down at you.

You took a deep breath, slightly annoyed, and continued, “I was trying to get Bucky out of the building while trying to hold back the HYDRA men, but then one of them started shouting Bucky’s trigger words and I panicked. I do not know why. But I did. But the panic was not for me. He was in pain, and he was scared, and I was angry that these men believed that they were entitled to do such things. So I snapped, and that feeling took over and I killed them.”

You were nearing another panic attack, your breaths coming in short pants and heart rate picking up when Steve spoke, “(Y/N), you need to calm down, take a breath,” he grabbed your hand and held it to his chest, “Breathe with me. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I am sorry.” You choked out, “I did not mean to lose control. I was doing so well. It has not happened in months. I just, I could not let them-”

“(Y/N), stop. Nobody is upset. If Natasha were there she would have killed them too. And believe me, I do understand that when it comes to war sacrifices need to be made. But not at the expense of losing control of your powers. More than just the enemy can get hurt. People can get caught in the crossfire. Civilians and teammates alike.”

Guilt pooled in your stomach and tears began falling again.

“Hey,” Steve whispered, “Beating yourself up over it isn’t going to change anything. Let’s just be glad nobody else got hurt, move on, and work on it from here. Okay?”

After a few minutes, your panic began to subside and you nodded, letting Steve know you understood.

“Good, now come out to the common room. Peter’s been asking for you all day. Something about an idea for Spidey’s Insta. Whatever the hell that means.”

Without warning you were pulled out of your memories and jerked back into reality by the sudden grip of a  hand on arm. Breaking the concentration of levitating, your feet dropped to the floor, your knees caving under you, but the firm grip on your bicep held you up.

“Damn it!” You looked up to see a more than smug Tony Stark holding back a laugh, “Tony! Do not do that!” You gripped your chest with your right hand, forcing yourself to breathe.

He smirked down at you, “Sorry, I kept calling for you, but you wouldn’t answer. I debated throwing a pillow at you but I figured you would startle, which I was right about by the way, and I didn’t want you to bust your ass.”

“So I am to thank you?” You retorted, feeling your heat return to its normal, steady pace.

“Well yeah, duh.”

“Thank you for my heart attack, Tony.” You flashed a smile and brushed past him, walking towards the couch, “Was there something that you needed me for?”

“Yeah, I wanted to know what you wanted for dinner.” Tony said as he plopped on the couch next to you.

You cocked your head at him and looked at your watch, “It is only two o’clock?”

He just waved his hand in a dismissing manner, beginning to type away on his phone, “Yeah, but they’re all arguing already. Half of them want pizza and half of them want Chinese. They said they would go with whatever you chose.”

You thought for a moment, debating and weighing the options before deciding, “I could just make dinner, it will give me something to do and everyone likes when I cook anyways. That way nobody gets their feelings hurt.”

Tony looked up from his phone at you and furrowed his brows, “You’re too nice for your own good, you do realize that, right?”

You only shrugged, and got up to head to the kitchen, “I should get started, it takes a while to make enough to feed an entire team of superheroes.”

Tony followed behind you and jumped up on the counter, picking up an apple from the bowl, “Oh that reminds me. Steve is coming back with Bucky this evening.”

That caused your movements to stutter and the bowl you had in your hand slipped from your grasp. You fumbled with it for a few seconds before you had it securely in your hands again.

“Oh? I was not aware they would be getting back so early.” You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and set the bowl on the counter, keeping your eyes purposely away from Tony’s.

There was a slight pause, “Uh, yeah. Except it’s not early, today’s when they were scheduled to come back.” You could hear the amusement in Tony’s voice, and you absolutely refused to turn around to face him.

“Oh, I must have forgotten.” You could actually feel his eyes bore into the back of your head and you felt blood rush to your face.

“Uh huh,” Another pause, “Welp!” He clapped his hands effectively making you jump, “I’m gonna let the others know about dinner. You have fun now. Try not to drop anything else.”

You snapped your head towards him and caught him giving you a knowing smirk and a wink before walking off towards the elevator.

Letting out a large huff, you forced your mind off of Bucky coming back, and focused on your task at hand.

***

“Man, I don’t care what you say. Tangled is so much better than Frozen.” Sam argued.

“It’s not! Frozen is far superior to Tangled. They didn’t need a prince to save them, it wasn’t true love’s kiss that saved Anna, it was the love Elsa had for her sister. That’s some next level shit!” Clint ranted on.

“Nuh uh. Elsa put everyone in danger by secluding herself and bottling up her powers and then blowing up. Rapunzel embraced her powers and she also knew not to fall in love with someone the first day she met them-”

You laughed at the collective groan you heard from the living room. Checking the time, it was nearing 5:00. The lasagnas had another half hour to bake and you had to keep an eye on the clock so you could put the garlic bread in at the right time so everything would be done together.

“Hey.” You felt a poke in your side and looked up to find Wanda leaning against the counter next to you.

“Hello.”

She grabbed one of the dishes you had washed and began drying, “So,”

You looked up at her to see she had a smug look on her face. That was never good, “So?”

“Rumor has it you have a crush on the new guy.”

And again, the object you were holding slipped from your hands and fell into the sink, making a loud CRASH against the rest of the dishes. Everyone looked over at the two of you.

“Sorry, I dropped a bowl. My bad.” You felt your cheeks redden in embarrassment as everyone’s eyes lingered on you a little longer before they went back to their previous conversations.

You turned and hissed at Wanda, “Who told you? I have not even told anyone!” You directed your attention back to cleaning the spoon that you now had in your hands.

She shrugged, “Nobody told me, your mind is very loud when you’re nervous.” Wanda grinned, still looking at the dish she was drying off.

You groaned, leaning down and placing your head on your arms against the sink.

“You have a crush on Bucky??” You heard a whisper from behind you, and whipped around to see Peter hanging from a web with a large smile on his face.

Rolling your eyes, you flicked his forehead, “Um, ow!”

“Curse you two and your stupid enhanced abilities that limit my privacy.”

“Peter! What did I say about hanging from webs in the house?” Tony called from the living room.

“Sorry!” Peter dropped to the floor and walked to your other side, but before he could ask anything else, the elevator doors opened, and out stepped Steve and Bucky.

Oh dear God, didn’t they have enhanced hearing too??

Tag list: @cutiepiemimi13

[kevrocksicehouse]

Max von Sydow who was always more than a dour swede, would have been 92 today if he hadn’t brought out his queen too soon. 

Antonius Block in The Seventh Seal. D: Ingmar Bergman (1957). The beginning of a great partnership that lasted through eleven films in almost four decades featured an image of a man (Sydow) playing chess with Death (Bengt Ekerot) that betokened a self-seriousness new to film and a theme – the silence of God – that most films hadn’t grappled with. Sydow plays a knight, disillusioned by the Crusades and the Black Death who meets the grim reaper, engages him in a game, less to save his life than to find meaning in it. In this world he is a witness to horrors, looking for answers less to justify his faith than to kill it. (“Why can’t I kill God in me” Why does he live on in me in a humiliating way – despite my wanting to evict Him from my heart? Why is He, despite all, a mocking reality I can’t be rid of?”). That he momentarily tricks death to save a group of travelling players (a hint to where Bergman’s sympathies lie) is almost sentimental, but von Sydow’s performance, stoic even in despair, made him the director’s mouthpiece for years.

Karl Oskar Nilsson in The Emigrants. D: Jan Troell (1972). Von Sydow was such a great pessimist it’s jarring to see him in this story of an immigrant’s blind faith, as a Swedish farmer, tired of a cycle of hunger, debt and social inferiority takes his family on the long arduous journey to 19th century Minnesota. While his wife Kristina (Liv Ullmann) is the voice of frightened reason von Sydow credibly shows, even in the face of tragedies, the great weight of the old world being lifted off of him. 

Frederick in Hannah and Her Sisters. D: Woody Allen (1986). In this urbane comedy about a Manhattan actors clan, (inspired by Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander), von Sydow poked fun at his own dourness as the reclusive and misanthropic lover of Lee (Barbara Hershey) whose rant against TV preachers (“Third grade con men telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak with Jesus, and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.”), the last straw that drives her away, provides the films biggest laugh.

[sandjsbeachbumbonanza]

Day 20 – bar swings and tequila shots

We had our sixth COVID test in three weeks this morning. This one will allow us to leave the island and go to St Lucia on Sunday.

J asked the front desk if we could do a boat trip to Mustique, which is a nearby private island that is home to the rich and famous. Unfortunately, we were told that the island was closed to visitors at the moment due to a posh wedding.

Now that we are free to leave the hotel, we headed out to Jack’s Beach Bar, which is affiliated with our hotel. Jack’s is located at the bottom of a steep hill, only accessible by stairs. It was well worth the walk. It’s an open and airy restaurant and bar. It is situated directly on the beach on the Caribbean side of the island near the harbour. There are lots of sailboats moored off the beach. The beach is sandy with a reasonable amount of space between the bar and the water. There are six umbrellas for guests to use while lounging on the beach. The crowd was mostly from our hotel, save for a few boaters who came in on dinghies. The water was crystal clear and you could see down to depths of at least 12 feet. We rate this beach a 9.95. S deducted some points because there are a few rocks and it’s not possible to sit at the edge of the water due to a drop off.

The drinks at Jack’s were excellent and the service was prompt and friendly. The prices for the drinks and food were also fairly reasonable. We intended to have a late lunch / dinner there but the day took a different turn. Jack’s is a must do in Bequia. After spending some time in the water and having some cocktails, J wanted to go try out another bar, which she had read about online. The bar is called Bar One but it is known to locals as the ‘floating bar’. It is literally a platform floating in the middle of the bay, accessible only by dinghy. As the water taxi is not currently operating, the staff came and picked us up from Jack’s and took us out. It was literally a two-minute ride to the bar. It is possible to swim off of Bar One, but this requires using a slim metal ladder with rounded rungs which was not the easiest thing to manoeuvre. J did manage to go for a swim. S decided that the drinks were more important.

The bar is in a squared off area in the middle of the platform, where the bartender and his arsenal of cocktails were accessible to all. There was one toilet and the whole thing was covered by a canopy and is well shaded. Our bartender was Ivor, who started the business along with is brother-in-law. Ivor mixes great drinks. However, Ivor doesn’t take credit cards or IoUs, so it’s a cash only business. We had some US dollars and some Eastern Caribbean dollars. We slapped them on the bar and told Ivor to keep the drinks coming until the money ran out. Today was ‘Thirsty Thursday’, which meant the Mount Gay rum drinks were only USD5 a pop. As he doesn’t serve Diet Coke, we had to switch to rum and ginger beer after our first round of excellently spiced Bloody Mary cocktails. If we had stuck to the posh cocktails, our funds would have been depleted rather more quickly. At first, we were the only patrons at the bar.

While sitting their sipping a drink J noticed that what appeared to be decorative ropes draping from the ceiling to the bar were actually swings that are used as barstools. This is the first time we’ve ever sipped rum on a bar swing. J said it’s even better than a bar stool as your chair is literally a swing. We were later joined by a couple of Americans who were also sceptical that we didn’t quarantine for 14 days because we are staying at the Bequia Beach hotel. However, they backed off when we informed them that we had had 6 COVID tests in the last 3 weeks and just came from Barbados. The couple said that when they arrived, they received a court order mandating that they quarantine for 14 days in their villa. They had just sold a business in the US and were down here indefinitely.

We were then joined by around 10 Canadians who had come in off a yacht. They were a lively bunch, but S managed to wind them up by poking fun at Justin Trudeau. After some lively banter, S said “we still think you’re nice”. They denied it and S reminded them that they had to be nice, they are Canadians. Not accepting that, one of the female Canadians decided to moon S as they departed on their dinghy.

We were next joined by a group of three Swedes and an Aussie. They had just sailed from Cape Verde to St Vincent and the Grenadines, a 17-day crossing of the Atlantic. They were very nice and we had a few drinks with them as well.

Another Canadian, Tania and her boyfriend joined the party and Ivor handed over the reigns to one of his friends and started drinking with the guests. Bar One is a very social place and another must-see in Bequia.

We finally decided it was time for dinner, well after dark, the staff took us to shore in the dinghy to grab some food. We stumbled into Mac’s, which has a very casual open-air section and a more formal section. As we were in swim trunks and flip flops, we opted for the casual area. We had to check first though to make sure they take credit cards as all of our cash decided to stay on the floating bar when we left. J had a burger and S had a fish burger. They were both very good and the prices were extremely reasonable, so we would definitely recommend them. After eating, we called a taxi to take us back to our hotel.

We decided to stop by the bar for a final nightcap, or so we thought. Maurice is working the day shift, so Candy was our bartender tonight. She knows everything about every guest in the hotel and informed us that they all have nicknames. She wouldn’t tell us ours, but did tell us all the good, current hotel gossip. Candy said the big wedding on Mustique is for Tommy Hilfiger or one of his family (apparently he owns a property there). Before we finished, we were joined by another couple, Maryanne? and Andrew. She was Danish, he is English. Unlike everyone else we’ve met, they live in Cambridge, not London. We had a great chat with them and then Maryanne decided it was time for tequila shots and dancing. Candy passed around a large plate of communal salt and lime ends. While the other three took tequila shots, J wisely sat this one out, noting that in her experience, no night that finishes with tequila ends well.

Sadly we confirmed that one of S’ daughters will not be able to join us due to COVID restrictions. It is very disappointing but we hope we can see her next year.

[amplesalty]

Day 14 - Monster Brawl (2011)

Talk about your Halloween Havoc...

Through my watching of House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula, I pined for an all out fight between all the big hitters; Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, The Wolf Man...but it never really came to pass.

Luckily, someone in Canada foresaw my need and even sprinkled a lot of Pro Wrestling into the mix. Quite frankly, I’m surprised it’s taken me as long as it has to do this one.

The action takes place in a graveyard and is presented pretty much as a wrestling show rather than some sort of narrative movie.

Oddly, the commentator, Buzz, has the same sort of cadence as Howard Cosell. AKA the commentator in the Olympics flashback in The Simpsons when Drederick Tatum is doing a triumphant turkey trot over the supine Swede.

I was expecting a big tournament but instead it’s separated out into two conferences; Undead and Creatures. 4 fighters in each, two of which are classed as Middleweights and two as heavyweights. The winning middleweights instantly become the champions of that conference in their weight class, whereas the heavyweights go on to face each other to decide a grand champion. That’s not a very deep roster there guys.

Here’s the card:

Undead Conference

Middleweight – Mummy vs Lady Vampire

Heavyweight – Frankenstein vs Zombie Man

Creature Conference

Middleweight – Cyclops vs Witch Bitch

Heavyweight – Swamp Gut vs Werewolf

At least they’re quite progressive in having intergender matches. I’m going for Mummy over Lady Vampire and Frankenstein over Zombie in the Undead category. The Mummy I think wont be affected much by the vampires attacks, Frankenstein I think will have a bit more about him than the Zombie.

I guess it comes down to the prowess of this individual zombie. I mean, you have perhaps the most notable and successful zombie ever in The Undertaker, if it’s anything like him then he’s a shoe in.

But there have been other zombies who haven’t been quite so successful...

Then I’m going with Witch Bitch and Werewolf on the Creature side. Can the witch use magic? What powers to Cyclops even have? Or Swamp Gut for that matter? He’s sort of like a messier Creature from the Black Lagoon. Werewolf I think will take it overall.

All fights are to the death and there all no rules. Probably for the best, I can’t imagine you’d have a good time trying to tell the Frankenstein monster that he has until the count of 5 to break his submission.

Of course, the biggest supernatural being here is Jimmy Hart. I’m sure that guy has a painting in an attic somewhere growing old in his place.

Jimmy’s interviewing the promoter and frankly looks bored throughout. What kind of universe is this that these monsters exist and the idea of them having this big fight is dull?

The pre-match video packages for Cyclops and Witch Bitch almost make them sympathetic to a degree. The Cyclops feels a little like Mortal Kombat as he gets a mysterious invitation to the contest. Cyclops talks about his beef with Hades, having entered a pact with him to gain the power to see the future but at the cost of one of his eyes. Witch Bitch is looked down and even spit upon until she is approached by a manager who needs a client for the big event. They talk up the Cyclops training and fighting background whilst the Witch is made out to be a total novice so I sense shenanigans.

Witch Bitch interestingly is played by Holly Letkeman, who would go on to be TNA’s Rosemary.

I meant more like magic spells or something but the witch starts out early by kicking the Cyclops in the balls. Referee is having none of this but doesn’t give two shits about Cyclops using his smithing hammer to smash witch in the face. Rod Zapata wouldn’t have stood for this.

Witch Bitch doesn’t care for this favouritism and promptly slashes the ref’s throat with a rusty cleaver. Geez, most ref’s get knocked by a stiff breeze, I think throat slashing was a step too far.

Speaking of Mortal Kombat, in amongst the commentary there are little voice clips like ‘AWESOME’ or ‘FANTASTIC’. I’m just waiting for someone to pop up and shout ‘TOASTY!’.

By the way, the answer to the question of what Cyclops’ powers are? Fucking optic blasts. OP, nerf now. The witch’s manager tries to get his heat back but promptly gets his head uppercutted off.

For Mummy vs Vampire, thinking about it now, does The Mummy have the tools to kill a vampire? I mean, he’ll need some sunlight or a stake to the heart. Not feeling it.

That’s no Mummy, that’s clearly THE YETAY!

That pendant is some sort of artifact capable of summoning sunlight so it looks like Mummy might stand a chance.

But it’s evidently not powerful enough as the vampire fights back and rips the heart right out of the Mummy’s chest.

The Swamp Gut does have this toxic spit attack which could be quite bad if he manages to use it but I don’t know how he’ll fare out of his watery home.

A home documented in some sort of faux nature documentary, that’s kinda cute, especially the fake David Attenborough.

You know, everyone really loved ‘The Planet’s Champion’ Daniel Bryan but he clearly ripped it off from this movie. Shameful.

The commentators make a point of how deadly the toxic spit can be and warn that the Werewolf doesn’t want to get into any close quarter combat. Aside from the fact that that’s pretty much all the Werewolf has, he clearly wasn’t listening as he opens up by going for a headlock. That’s the problem with this all out, fight to the death monster jamboree, you can’t open a death match with a corner and elbow tie up.

Turns out that tocix spit wasn’t nearly as deadly as they made out as the werewolf shrugs it off. Swamp Gut gasses out like he was Yokozuna and has his stomach exploded by a top rope splash.

In Frankenstein vs Zombie, I’m now thinking maybe there’s a slight edge for the zombie. They’re both generally quite slow, shuffiling beings but I’m not sure if the Frankenstein monster has that killer edge. It make take him a while to cotton on to what’s happening, plus his structural integrity might come into question. We all know zombies like to bite, it could start ripping off all those loosely stitched together limbs. Plus the zombie was trained by Kevin Nash, clearly he’s going all the way in this thing.

Nash ends up giving the Monster that killer edge he needs by way of killing the Doc via hatchet to the back. To be fair, he started it by smashing the zombie in the head with a wrench. After a touching ‘father and son’ moment in the death throws of the Doc, The Monster hulks up and curb stomps the zombie into oblivion.

The zombie gets some small measure of revenge as his death somehow signals all the other corpses in the graveyard to raise from their grave. The Monster just growls and scares them off so they settle on eating Nash instead. 2011 wasn’t the best year for Nash, that being the time he invaded the Summer of Punk (”Would you like to see the text message on my telephone?”) and ended up in that ladder match with HHH.

The werewolf has become something of a defacto face here, talking about how monsters took everything from him and now he’s out for his revenge. The Monster has reverted to some sort of angry foreigner gimmick. Looking at this from a purely logical point of view, I’m not seeing how Frankenstein can stop the Werewolf if he needs a silver bullet to do it.

Apparently by just tearing his skull apart like King Kong with that T-Rex. Bullshit! Monster Squad clearly taught us that the werewolf’s head should just re-assemble at this point.

But, like all good wrestling shows, you need to setup your hook for your next big event. So the lights go out and out comes Zombie Kevin Nash to Wrestlemania IX things and go face to face with the Monster! Given that the Monster is billed at 8 feet tall and that Nash goes nose to nose with him, the wrestling world has been underselling him the entire time.

Nash rips the belt from the Monster’s shoulder and stomps on it in an act of defiance and disrespect not seen since Shane Douglas threw down the old NWA title back in 94.

And like something out of a Rocky movie, the two go to punch each other as we freeze frame to black. There was no sequel...

I feel like this is stuck in this awkward middle ground, too much monster for a wrestling show and too much wrestling for a monster movie. I don’t think presenting it as a straight up wrerstling show helped either, possibly down to the surroundings. There’s just no spark to it, without the crowd involvement it just feels hollow. Whilst it’s fun to poke fun at it, it doesn’t really reach the level of cheese I was expecting.

I get what they were going for with the graveyard set and everything but I think that having a more narrative driven feel would have worked better. Maybe talk about how business has been in the toilet and, to try and grab ratings, they capture these monsters and have them fight in actual arenas with real crowds. Maybe the monsters break loose and attack the fans, only for the big babyface to swoop in and save the day.

How about a Hulk Hogan movie? He’s probably not done too much acting in a while and we all know how he likes to go over, brother, there’d be something fun about seeing him giving the big boot and big leg drop to the Franksenstein monster.

Or, and there is no way you’d ever get this cleared, have the monsters closer to actual real wrestlers. Gangrel as the vampire, that’s a given. But you could have the re-animated corpse of Chris Benoit as the zombie. Maybe stitch together The Monster from all these other dead wrestlers to great some sort of super wrestler that inherits all of their abilities?

But clearly what let this down was the workrate of all involved. It’s just kick/punch the entire time. And where was the selling? Guys are getting hit with tombstones, I mean literal tombstones and not piledrivers, and they’re just popping right back up like they’re one of the Road Warriors. Who taught these guys to sell? They’re greener than Frankenstein’s Monster.