#and personally i think this scene would have been funny if he'd opened it up

[everyryuujisuguro]

[fourmoony]

Hey! Requesting a Remus fluff where he spots reader in the library and is completely infatuated by her. James and Sirius persuades him to go up to her and eventually builds up the courage :3

hi lovely, thank you so much for requesting! hope you enjoy :) this one realllly got away from me, but I love it sm!!! he's baby your honour...

2.3k remus x fem!reader fluff language

masterlist

Sirius has his feet kicked up on the desk, his chair balancing on its hind legs and if Remus wasn't so distracted he'd probably tell him off, make up some lie about a kid he knew when he went to primary that fell and smashed his head open, caused a scene, traumatised a teacher and a classroom full of seven year olds, the paramedics ended up coming in to do a talk on classroom safety... something like that. Sirius probably wouldn't listen anyway, but at least he'd know he tried.

But he's distracted.

For once, it's not because of James' heavy handed typing as he abuses his poor laptop's keyboard, writing and erasing, writing and erasing. And it's also not because of the obnoxious groan Sirius lets out every few minutes just to make sure Remus and James know he's still there, waiting for them to be done so they can wrap up another week of uni with a few pints at the local pub.

No, today he's fully distracted by something else.

You.

It's not fair, actually. He thinks your beauty is actually hurting him, doing something funny to his heart. Can a person's beauty physically cause heart failure? Chest pains? Maybe an anxiety attack over the existential crisis he's facing knowing he'll never be able to have you? Remus doesn't know, but he thinks James would - he's the one doing his PhD, after all. Not that Remus would ever admit to finding you so breathtakingly beautiful it's causing physical pain. No, Sirius and James would never let him live that down.

So instead, he pretends to read his textbook on astro-physics, everything he's supposed to be revising going straight over his head, while stealing glances at you two tables over. You're in your own world, furiously typing into your laptop, stopping every now and then to take a sip of the comically large coffee beside you. It's midterm season, your large coffee is warranted in Remus' humble opinion. Not that you're even aware he's in solidarity of it. James would probably have some boring medical fact about coffee stunting growth and hormones or some load of bollocks similar, but he doesn't care.

Every now and then, you'll pout at your laptop screen, tilting your head to the side like whatever is on your screen has personally offended you. It makes Remus' heart slam against his rib cage in a totally annoying, embarrassing way he wishes he could make soft. He's not a creep. Really, he's not. He knows you. Somewhat. You've met a couple times when you've been chatting to Marlene - who shares a Comms class with you - either in the library or at the pub on the occasional Friday you make an appearance with your friends. It's not like he's having these weird feelings about a stranger. Well. A complete stranger. But there's just something so startling about how kissable your lips are, so soft looking and pink, and adorable in the way your head tilts like that of a confused puppy.

Your attention leaves the screen in front of you in an instant as if you can feel Remus' pining from ten feet away, eyes scanning your surroundings, and when your eyes meet his, Remus chokes on thin air. Thin fucking air. He's so shocked you've caught him, so shocked you're actually a real person he can make eye contact with and not a figment of his imagination, that he chokes, eyes widening, and looks back down to the text book in front of him. He resigns to the awful feeling of humiliation creeping up his neck, accepts the fate of his crimson red cheeks.

"Subtle." Sirius comments, a sickening smirk that Remus just knows means he's been caught graces the former Black Heir's lips and he'd rather like to kick the two back legs out from under best friend's chair now, thanks.

Even though he knows he's been caught, Remus schools his features, because he's actually very capable of that when it comes to his friends, and returns to his book, flipping the page with what he hopes is nonchalance and shrugs, "Dunno what you're on about."

Sirius scoffs obnoxiously, just like Remus knew he would, and returns his chair back to four legs with haste, arms planted on the table in front of him and a look on his face that reads 'I hate to break it to you, but you're the most obvious bloke on the planet'. "Mate, just go over and put us all out of our misery. It's painful."

"It is, mate." James mumbles agreeably, still very much engrossed in the battering of his keyboard. It's a wonder he hasn't broken the thing, Remus thinks.

Remus rolls his eyes. If only it were that simple. How could anything be that simple when you're so infuriatingly beautiful Remus doesn't think he could get two words in to a conversation with you without making a royal twat of himself.

"You make it sound so simple, Pads, truly." Remus drawls sarcastically, eyes still downcast on the book in front of him.

He hasn't read and actually processed a single sentence since he caught sight of you on arrival. He's well and truly fucked.

Sirius scrubs his hands up and down his face like Remus' hesitance is physically paining him, "C'mon, Moony. They didn't call you the Casanova of Gryffindor House for nothing, mate."

It's Remus' turn to scoff, now. He was hardly a Casanova. Just a nice bloke who girls happened to be attracted to. But that was a private boarding school where girls had no access to the outside world apart from the odd weekend at the school's nearest village. You live in a world with people disposable at your fingertips. Coffee shop baristas, classmates, the people on the commute to your classes, there's an endless opportunity for you to meet someone of interest. And how is Remus supposed to compete with that?

"Not happening. I'll suffer in silence, thanks." Remus tells Sirius, a tight lipped smile about his face that he hopes Sirius will read as the end of the conversation.

Clearly, Sirius is no better at social cues now than when Remus first met him, because his friend rolls his eyes and returns to leaning back on his chair, legs once again kicked up onto the desk, muddy boots falling on a piece of paper Remus knows he'll probably have to rewrite, now. "All I'm saying is what do you have to lose? You ask her out she says no, you go back to staring at her like a right creep from two desks over, or," He makes a flourishing movement with his hands, ever the one for dramatics, "She says yes, you bang, fall in love, get married, have kids, etcetera, etcetera."

Sirius' smile is triumphant, like he truly believes he's some sort of genius and Remus can't help the way his lips tick up in amusement. Maybe he has a point, but anxiety still claws at Remus' chest.

"He's got a point, mate," James has pushed his laptop away from himself, his circular glasses balancing haphazardly on his forehead as he rubs tiredly at his face, "Even if he didn't, I'm still begging you to go over there just to get him," he jabs a finger at Sirius, who preens proudly, "to shut up so I can get this paper finished."

Remus sighs, mulls it over in his head, an endless list of outcomes, variables, it's what his scientist mind is programmed to think like. But he gives Sirius a look, finds his best friend staring at him earnestly, and he realises that Sirius doesn't actually see it as a big joke. He truly thinks Remus should do it.

"Fine." Remus bites, taking a breath and pushing himself out of his seat.

Sirius pumps his fists in the air so violently his chair wobbles, but Remus doesn't look back. If he does, he might turn around and give up, go back to staring from afar. God, maybe he is a creep.

You're so engrossed in whatever you're working on, you don't realise Remus hovering at the seat across from you. When you do, you jump a little, and Remus opens his mouth to apologise, but you're already speaking, a wide smile gracing your lips, features completely taken over by the kindness in your eyes - you recognise him, "Remus, right? You're friends with Marls."

Remus nods, swallows the thickness in his throat. He doesn't trust himself to talk, just yet, so he's grateful when you nod your head to the seat across from you, welcoming him to sit. You half close the lid of your laptop, offering him your full attention and wait patiently for him to talk.

"How are your midterms going, by the way?" You ask when Remus finds himself unable to start a conversation.

You don't seem put off by his apparent silence, more than happy to carry the conversation if he needs. He's grateful, because your direct question has given him a reason to speak, a boundary of the things he can say. He's not worried about shouting just how beautiful he finds you for the entire campus library to hear when he has a strict criteria of answers he can give. Well. He's less worried. It's still not impossible.

"Uh, alright, thanks. You're taking Art History, right? Hows that going?" He hopes he's not misheard Marlene's brief introduction, and he knows he hasn't when you preen at his remembrance.

You nod enthusiastically, hair bouncing over your shoulders with the movement, "Yeah! It's currently kicking my arse, but I'll pull through. I imagine it's not as hard as," you pause, brows furrowing for half a second before Remus sees a lightbulb go off behind your eyes, your smile returning, along with the smooth plane of your forehead, crease gone, "Astro-physics, right?"

Remus tries not to think about the way his entire stomach knots up and threatens to give out over the fact you know what his degree is. There's every chance Marlene has told you, like she told him your degree, but he can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you'd asked about him. Instead, he smiles dutifully, even though he can feel his somewhat calm and collected exterior melting away, "Yeah, astro-physics. But I imagine they're equally challenging in different ways."

You seem to like that answer, following along and nodding amicably to show you're listening, "I suppose you're right. Although, I think you could explain it to me like a five year old, and I'd still be lost."

Remus laughs. Not at you, but at the perplexed expression on your face as you imagine such a scenario. You shake your head out, giving him your full attention again. You're so lovely. So sweet and nice and Remus feels like he might actually have a shot, if your kindness and patience so far is anything to go on.

"If it makes you feel any better, I couldn't tell you squat about the Mona Lisa." Remus shrugs.

It's your turn to laugh, your head tilting back ever so slightly as it rocks through you. The sound is like music to Remus' ears. He decides then and there he'll do anything, forever, to get you to make that sound again. He commits it to memory, allows it to warm his chest, potential heart attack be damned.

"You're cute, Remus Lupin." You're amused as you say it, eyes shining with a kind of fondness Remus allows to steal his breath.

He thinks maybe you don't mean to say it, at first, but when your gaze holds his, confident and teasing Remus knows. He just. He knows. You're into him, too. Maybe not as deep as he's into you, but the interest is there and that's all Remus cares about.

"A few of us are going to the pub in a few for some drinks, Marlene will be there. Did you maybe want to join us?" Remus asks, an uncomfortable heat in his cheeks even though he knows you're likely to say yes.

He chuckles when you pretend to think it over, pout twisting into an amused grin when you go to speak, "Sure, Remus. I'd love to."

Remus feels like he's won some sort of gold medal, maybe the lottery. He's not sure. But what he does know is that his blood is thrumming through his veins in a way it never has before with pure elation. You're grinning ear to ear, already beginning to pack up your things. He waits patiently while you do, following your lead in standing up. You round the table, closer to him, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

"Remus?" You ask, stepping into his space and he can smell your perfume, your shampoo, so sweet he thinks he's going to pass out.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"I only have one condition."

He arches an eyebrow, urges you to go on.

"Next time, it's just us two. A proper date." You smile sweetly, completely unaware of the affect your sultry voice has on Remus' already weak knees.

His breath catches in his throat as you look up at him, your tiny hand encircling his wrist oh so carefully.

"Yeah?" His voice is gravelly, lips threatening to turn up in a wicked grin, "I'm sure we can make that happen."

Just like that, you step out of Remus' space, hand dropping his wrist and your teasing smile falling back into your soft, kind grin, "Great. I'm all yours for the rest of the night, Remus."

Remus almost groans as he leads you back over to Sirius and James, who are grinning like cheshire cats as they pack up their belongings to follow suit with you and Remus. He's met his match, he thinks. You're well and truly going to be the end of him.

Not that he cares in the slightest.

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

The hyperfixation demons are screeching at me to write a comprehensive list of all the reasons I like Fukutora, so today I present to you "Ant ignores their responsibilites and spends several paragraphs explaining why Fukutora is peak despite them having roughly 10 seconds of shared screen time"

1. Contrasting Personalities In general their personalities fit together really well— Fukunaga barely speaks while Tora exclusively shouts at max volume and can't stfu to save his life, Tora's overly-intense and takes everything way too seriously while Fukunaga's cracking jokes in the middle of important games, they're even literal opposites on the court as the two wing spikers. Their differences compliment each other perfectly and because of that I think they'd grow a lot being together, Fukunaga would learn to open up and Tora would mellow out. Another good contrast is how Tora's all about looking cool and standing out while Fukunaga tends to blend into the background, which leads into my next point...

2. MY ROMAN EMPIRE (aka chapter 309) I know it's only two pages out of a 33 chapter match but i dont care, this scene makes me feral. I read the manga after watching Dumpster Battle, so imagine my suprise when my two favorite losers had a moment THAT GOT CUT FROM THE FUCJIGN MOVIE (I'm still salty, it should've been a full season).

Anyways these pages rooted their way into my brain because they show that even though Fukunaga goes unnoticed by most people (both in-universe and by readers) Tora realizes how great he is, and not only respects his play style but views him as a rival on the same level as himself. One thing I appreciate about Tora is that despite him being the stereotypical "strong manly athlete" type he doesn't think his methods are the best or only way of doing things; Fukunaga scoring points without "big fanfare" is just as cool as the shit he and Tanaka pull off. The phrasing "that I hafta surpass" could even imply that Tora sees Fukunaga as more than an equal, as someone who's ahead of him since he doesn't need to be flashy or loud to do amazing stuff.

Look at his smile on page two, bro's just excited to have someone who motivates him to keep pushing himself. And as we've learned from Kagehina: what's gayer than a rivalry?? All in all I think it's sweet that Tora notcies his efforts and admires him when few others do. Side Note, I've seen a translation of these that call them "Nekoma's Wings" and I think that's a sick nickname.

3. Bi Tora and Internalized Homophobia I love a good internalized homophobia arc, and characters like Tora that center so much around girls and manliness are some of the most fun to explore them with imo. You could say he's one of the least likely characters in hq to be queer since he's THE woman-lover next to Tanaka and Noya (and Yachi) but that's what makes it interesting—his gay awakening would hit like a tsunami and send him into life-ruining bi panic for months, especially since he's already such a mess when it comes to romance. He gives me the vibes of someone who has no problem with other people being gay but struggles when it comes to himself since it clashes with his conception of what it means to "be a man" or whatever. My point is he'd have the most intense no homo phase to grace this earth and I think that's both super funny and compelling for his character.

Also as a bi person myself it's kind of frustrating how bisexuality is treated online sometimes. It's annoying when a person's queerness is negated the moment they show attraction for the opposite gender, so headcanoning a character like Tora as a bi while still being openly into women makes me happy.

4. The Stage Play They're so silly in the stageplay. Why is he dragging him around by the feet? Why are they screaming at Kenma? Why is he constantly bopping him on the head in the background? WHY IS HE SERVING FACE IN THE PROMO PICTURES? So silly.

(Ignore how blurry these are lol) 5. Ant's Little Sister Bias This is a me thing, I like ships where one party has an annoying little sister who bothers them, sue me. Its cute. Akane and Fukunaga could have the most adorable friendship if you believe.

6. They Match Each Others Energy My first post about them was me rambling about this so just read that, TDLR they're both energetic menaces who match each other's freak.

7. Kenma's Forced Third-Wheel Purgatory Putting Kenma in a situation where Kuroo's graduated and his closest remaining friends are dating and constantly forcing him to third-wheel is just about the evilest thing you could do to the guy. He may be one of my favorites but this is well-deserved punishment for his crimes.

8. Baffled x Baffling Another ship dynamic I like a lot is when one person is unabashedly weird and the other thinks they're a total freak... but likes them anyways. They don't know why they like them. They can't explain it to anyone. Whenever the person does more weird shit they're like "why tf do I like you." But even so they're whipped as hell. Anyways Tora barely understands a single thing Fukunaga does and I think that makes for a funny crush to have.

9. Fukunaga's "Current Concern" Don't have much to add here, it's just proof to me that they hang out idc. Like why are you concerned about what he wants?? Kinda gay dude. Big fan of Fukunaga whispering to him and Tora answering at full volume so other people hear a one-sided conversation.

10. These Fics Before I knew this ship was even a thing I stumbled on these fics while browsing the Fukunaga tag, that's what got the gears turning:

• My favorite one, third-year shenanigans • Peak, need to be signed in tho • College AU • This one is mostly gen Fukunaga but the few moments they have are perfect (also really fun Nekoma interactions overall)

11. Other Miscellaneous Thoughts • Both of them being public figures/lowkey famous in timeskip is cute, like imagine them being each others' biggest fan before they make it big.

• Chef x guy who eats a lot is peak fiction. In this case they both eat a lot. Their grocery bill is a horror story.

• I know it's because characters are usually grouped by year and Kenma ditches them to sit with Kuroo but they're always together in the stands, pretty gay if you ask me

• I hc Fukunaga as genderfluid so Tora still gets his chance to be a wife guy. Him and Tanaka ranting to each other while Kiyoko and Fukunaga drink tea in peaceful silence.

• I think Fukunaga's the type to enjoy people watching and Tora's always doing something dumb. Observing him like a little bug under a microscope

• They're both so silly looking, cartoony ahh designs. I just think they'd make a funny couple visually, they're so square and stick to me if that makes any sense lmaoo

If you got through this whole post you're a real one, thanks for reading to my brain dump. I think about them every day and need more people to understand the vision

[hells-okayest-dad]

I've been thinking a lot about "Jean Moreau came back to himself in pieces" not only being the first line of a scene or a chapter or even of The Sunshine Court, but the first line of the whole trilogy. I feel like it's really setting the tone for what this is going to be and what Jean's life is going to look like. Evermore has stripped him of everything he was and now he is learning to build himself back up, he's discovering who he is again and I'm very excited to see what that looks like for him.

Some things that I, personally, would love to see him (re)develop

Jean is funny. He makes a few jokes in TSC. They're all very sarcastic and rude, but I think he could also not be a dick about it if he tried. I want him to tell a joke and make someone (Jeremy) laugh and realize that that feels really good. (Similarly, I like to think that he was very good at Doing The Voices when he read to Elodie, but I have no idea how this would come up.)

Jean likes being outside. The cool breeze and open roads are on his list. I think he would like hiking and someone could show him a cool rock and he would pretend not to be into it but he would keep it.

I want him to have a solo hobby so he can learn to be okay on his own. I think he'd like reading because it's very distracting but something he could do with his hands would also be good. (He already knows/once knew how to sew at least a little. Let him recreationally stab fabric.)

Also, I want him to find the love he once had for Exy. It means something different to him than it once did, but I want him to remember why he once loved it. I want him to have fun playing a game with his friends.

[lohotine]

could you maybe do a shadow milk cookie x beast!reader......... for a possible plot you could maybe do reader getting corrupted and upon getting sealed away getting separated from shadow milk cookie,,,,, maybe reuniting after the seal is broken?? sorry if this doesn't make sense, you don't have to do this request if you don't wanna!!

AN: So, I actually... haven't... played the new update... SO I DONT REALLY KNOW THE LORE THAT WELL. I did a quick Google search and I think I got it? And I know what the seals are ☆ ALSO, I KNOW THAT THE SEALS DONT ACTUALLY DO THIS, BUT LETS JUST PRETEND FOR THE PLOT. Anyway, I decided on some small angst. (But if you want a fluffier version, just request it. I wont be mad or annoyed or anything like that bc I seriously would love to make a fluffier version of this plot!!)

Shadow Milk Cookie x GN! Beast reader. ONESHOT.

Warnings: Slight angst, possession

-Same-

It's been an awful long time since you were last awake. Did this even count as sleeping? Does being sealed away count as being asleep?

"Heyy. Wakey wakey!"

Who's voice is that? It sounds familiar.

"Come on, doll! You're making me worried.."

They sound upset. Wait, why are there voices?

"You are alive.. right? You didn't crumble away?"

I think I'm free...

You would flutter your eyes open. Everything was blurry, and your head hurt. Somebody was poking your face, but their hands were cold. Not the most welcoming of scenes, but whatever.

"Oh, so you are alive! That's a relief. I don't know what I'd do without you!" The person was leaning over you, and they held a big smile.

They seem familiar... but who are they?

You would smack their face away from yours and back away from them.

"Ow! Don't you know hitting your lover is mean?" The cookie would put a hand on his face while glaring at you.

What did he just say?

"Lover?"

The cookies face would turn sulen.

"Yeah... You remember me, right?"

...

Nobody said a word.

"Doll, I'm all for jokes, but this isn't funny."

He would just stare at you for a while with an annoyed expression before his face suddenly perks up into a smile.

"Oh I see, you're just confused! It must have been confusing awaking from such a long nap. Here, why don't we go on a walk to clear your mind?" The cookie would take your hand and start taking you for a walk. He didn't wait for your input.

"No, you don't understand. I have no recollection of you."

He'd only hum while cheerfully walking.

"I don't even know your name."

"Yes you do~" he would chime, still wearing that deranged smile.

"I do not-" you would snatch your hand out from his grasp and stop walking.

"..." He wouldn't say anything to you, only stare at the ground. His smile feel instantly in that moment.

"You really don't remeber... do you?" He asked you, not bothering to turn towards you.

"I don't."

He sighed before finnaly facing his body towards yours, though, he just couldn't bring himself to meet your gaze.

"Shadow Milk Cookie. That's my name. We used to be close but.." he paused before sighing. "I guess you forgot about all us!" He would have a crazed smile on his face.

"Look, I'm sorry that I don't remeber you, but there really isn't anything I can do about it,"

Shadow Milk would laugh before finnaly meeting your eyes. He would stare deeply into your eyes, that smile never leaving his face.

"Oh, but there is! Don't worry, dove, I'll make sure you remeber. Just stay still..." He would take one of your hands and begun to spin you around.

"Hey! what are you-" Shadow Milk would stop spinning you and put a finger over your mouth, shushing you.

"It's okay doll, I'll take care of you. Just let me guide you, all right?" He gave you an annoying grin, to which you glared at, but ultimately said nothing to.

"Ah yes, this is how I remeber it. You always were so obedient." He would step behind you and place both of his hands on your shoulders.

"You may not remeber me, but I remember everything about you," he would whisper into your ear.

You'd tense up, feeling his breath on your neck.

"Yeah, this is how you would always react. You really haven't changed..."

Shadow Milk Cookie would step back infront of you and trace his cold fingers along your facial features.

"And your face is the same as well." He had a ore faraway look in his eyes, as if he were reliving some other moment. He never let his smile falter though.

"Shadow Milk... were we really close?" You would ask him.

He couldn't help but snicker.

"Oh yes, soooo close."

"..."

"Want me to show you how close?" He held onto your chin, making you look towards him.

"Your answer doesn't really matter. I would have done this anyway."

Shadow Milk closed his eyes and pressed his lips against yours. It was a short kiss, but one full of longing.

"You have no idea how much I've been craving you. It was torture being away from you for so long. You can't expect me to let you go just because you forgot some things~"

A twinge of pink would dash your cheeks from the prior kiss. It should have felt forced and strange yet... there was a feeling of familiarity that made it feel nice.

"Oh how I've missed your cute, silly, blushing faces! There must have been a part of you that liked it then! Maybe I can make you remeber after all."

Shadow Milk would hold onto your wrist and begin walking with you again.

He held that psychotic smile once more while staring into your eyes.

"But even if I can't make you remember, I certainly won't allow you to forget."

Fin~

[deafsignifcantother]

Stardom

♥ prompt: them sneaking into your bedroom window to see you - @urfriendlywriter

♥ summary: alastor's childhood best friend is a movie star and they have a bond between emotionally distant ppl awww so cute (she is trying her hardest to express affection but is internally screaming at her fruitless attempts and he thinks it's funny). wrote this as a warmup for an assignment

♥ relationship: alastor x feminine deaf reader

♥ word count: 2.8k

♥ notes: reader's mother is a prominent character and she's a kind person, alastor's mom is prominent too, scenes from childhood -> teen -> adult, alastor is just a romantic man, stone-faced reader

One day, there was a knock at his front door. His mother opened it after drying her hands, stepping away from the kitchen. Behind the door was another mother and child at the door. Alastor peeked from behind his mother, seeing you with your head down. He immediately recognized you when his mom took him to the theatre. You were nothing like you were on the screen. Your timid posture caught him off guard immediately, as did the blank expression on your face. Your mom was there to apologize for your manners after you had continuously thrown your unwanted toys into their yard.

Alastor watched from his window every time you did, analyzing the look of frustration you had. He would smile to himself; his dimples presented themselves to no one but his reflection until, one day, you looked up at him. Your expressions were dazzling to him, though you are the same age, you know more about presentation and physical articulation than he ever could.

You hit the big screen in his teenage years. It was like you were born to be a scene's star. But his fascination with you genuinely deepened when he saw you off-screen with your resting, blank expression. 

.

Flash. Flash flash.

The light drowns you. You cover your eyes with your hands, shielding yourself from the bright glow from your window. The lamps in your room are switched off—of course they are—and you have been trying your hardest to sleep. Tossing and turning is the worst part of stressful nights. 

Behind the beaming light, you see a pair of pearly whites. Alastor watches the smile grow on your face. 'Smile,' that's how he likes to describe it. It's more of a smirk, one that twitches whenever you try and hide it. If he wasn't so close to you, he'd think you were plotting against him, which makes his heart even more drawn to that smile of yours. His closed-off, stubborn demeanor threatens to crack, though he's waiting to see if you'll initiate a peril to the friendship: companionship. His internal struggle, torn between his defensive nature and growing affection for you, is a constant battle. 

"Alastor," you breathe out before opening the window and sliding it up. The night wind shakes his hair, and his button-up is buttoned to the collar. He throws the flashlight aimlessly and it lands on the bed. Once he fully steps into your room, he unbuttons the top and rolls up his sleeves while you close the window behind him. He flicks the lamp on.

"It's midnight," you sign while his eyes lock on your hands. 

"And I wanted to see you. Were you sleeping?"

"No."

"I thought so."

You let out a laugh through your nose. 

Not even an hour pasts before Alastor sits cross-legged on the floor, his gaze fixed on the walls. Beside him, you hold a handful of playing cards, staring intensely at them to see your next move. He has already put his card down. 

"When do you leave?" He signs, gaining your attention. "In the morning or afternoon?"

You sigh, your expression changing, your hands dropping the cards. "Don't think about that right now."

"I will. You know you don't have to go."

"This movie is my chance. My chance to do something extraordinary, something that could change everything."

He just nods. "I understand. And I'm happy for you." The quietness of the room starts to bother him. The only sound is the slight hum of the lamp. Each moment stretched like an eternity as they played cards.

Finally, you reach out, your hand finding his. "I'll come back if living in a damn movie trailer is that bad." You sign, the smallest smile on your face.

"Stardom." He signs.

"Win some, lose some." You chuckle, the sound a bittersweet melody in the stillness of the night. "Beats the weather here."

His smile forms into a lopsided, childish grin. Louisiana summers are the worst, both for the weather and how during that time, your mother would whisk you away to introduce you to filmmakers. Alastor would look out the window at the empty house. Even as a teenager, he imagined you'd return to whisk your childhood toys into his yard. 

More hours pass, after he wins the game (as usual), the weight of goodbye hangs heavy in the air; you find solace in knowing that your absence won't be forever, however long it may seem. You both sit on your bed and read in perfect silence. Your eyes constantly flicker at him, the curve of his nose and the sharpness of his jaw. He's attractive; it almost draws you in.

Before he leaves, you finally go through your closet and throw him a shirt he left behind the last time he was in your room. He doesn't catch it immediately, and it hits his chest; he hugs it.

You lift your chin. "I'm giving it back before it becomes mine."

"Oh, no worries there." His eyes sparkle when he notices the combining smell of yours and his. When you turn to face the closet again, he holds it up to his face and inhales an extended dose. His eyelids droop, his grip tightens. What a lovely scent. He even lets out an audible growl while eyeing the back of your head. When you face him again, you find his eyes locked on yours.

His aura looms within the confines of your bedroom. His eyes are round and youthful, and his forming smile lines are even more visible in the yellow-toned lighting.

"The days are coming to an end." He signs. Your lips tighten, a juxtaposition to his. Beneath your calm exterior lay an intensely beating heart and a distant mind. One person had managed to pierce the armor around your nature.

Alastor, stop thinking about that damn movie.

But the movie is always on his mind. The weight of impending farewells feels like thorns. You're going to disappear from the neighborhood, while your face and your body will be on his mother's tiny television; Alastor knows he won't be able to see the light in your eyes or the individual hair on your brows like he can when he stands close to you. 

When dawn paints the sky in hues of pink and gold, casting long shadows across the room, Alastor stares outside, opening the window, his brown eyes reflecting the colors. 

"Don't fall," you sign while helping him swing his feet past the window seal.

"Will you stay if I do?"

"I don't know, but if you injure yourself my mom will definitely think I did it."

Alastor tilts his head with a twisted grin, which forms into a smile as you squint at him. He slides a bit forward, his thighs off of the ledge, watching your expression. His feet dangle dangerously before his fingers close around the wooden seal. He slides back towards you, lifting a hand to sign. "Just kidding."

With your voice, you jeer sarcastically, "Ha-ha-ha."

After he safely drops next to the tree he used to climb up, his head started spinning, he carries with him the memory of your voice; he had never heard it before.

.

Gosh, did you make it big. Every time Alastor walks to school, he can see your face plastered on the front cover of newspapers. He tosses a nickel at the storesmen, buying a copy each week.

You never ended up coming home, staying in the city to live out your ever-blooming career. But thankfully, your mother adored Alastor and was appreciative that you had such a close friend. Every time you moved locations, she let Alastor know. Both your and and his mother dreaded the idea of you two losing contact.

His mother teases him about you all the time. 

"She's so pretty." "How could you not tell she liked you?" "So, how's that little charmer?" "Maybe you should be in movies, too." "How about you send her some fan mail?"

By his mother's advice, he started writing you letters.

Your mother hands you them whenever she finds them in the P.O. box. With how hot Houston has gotten, the letters are warm once you get them. The stamps were 32 USA, the same image of a timey radio. He definitely has a doctor's handwriting. You've kept each letter in a drawer under your bed, ensuring their safety.

.

Cameras stand poised, ready to capture the magic of the scene about to unfold. Among the hustle and bustle of crew members and actors, you are the one that stands out the most with your fake, radiant smile and the judgment in your eyes.

As the director calls for action, you step into the scene, slipping effortlessly into your role. You immerse yourself in the story. In these silent movies, you have your own unique shine.

Meanwhile, Alastor paces nervously in his hotel room, constantly cleaning his glasses—a nervous habit—and smoothing his hair behind his ears. He has been counting down the days until he can surprise you, a result of teamwork between his mom and yours. With a bouquet of flowers and an old (and very tacky) friendship bracelet, he makes his way to the movie set.

The director waves his hands to signal a cut. All he gives you is a thumbs up. He doesn't know anything else. You breathe, your face falling into its usual, aggressively neutral look. 

With his voice, the director announces to the rest of the crew the schedule for the rest of the day and the time: noon, which means the beginning of the lunch break. All you can do is stand impatiently waiting for a signal of dismissal. The dress you have on is holding your diaphragm tightly, and your headpiece is pinched too close to your skin. This movie is testing your limits.

One motivator that keeps you staying in these uncomfortable positions is representation. You're blessed to be able to be both loved and openly deaf; in this era, others are not as fortunate. In your imagination, one day, you can stand beside Charlie Chaplin and Granville Redmond.

Gosh, what a dream.

As Alastor arrived, he marveled at the grandeur of the production—its sheer magnitude was enough to amaze him. Alone, he navigated through the maze of trailers and equipment until he found himself standing at the edge of the set, watching you and keeping an eye on your crossed arms and hard stare. 

"Cher..." he whispered to himself. And at this moment, he knew he had to see you, see you close, and tell you just how proud he was. Seeing you within a fantasy realm while maintaining your usual glare is beautiful. Your costume makes you look like a princess, but your face makes you look like a queen.

Alastor waited for the perfect moment to make his entrance, ha. And as the director called for the break, he seized his chance.

Once you turn to leave, your eyes widen in surprise, and you see Alastor standing before you, a smile lighting up his face.

"Alastor!" Your hands sign his name quickly. With the grace born of pure joy, you take a step closer, testing the boundaries of contact. You haven't initiated touch with someone in a very long time. Your eyes are locked on the flowers in his hand. He holds them out, and with elegance, you take them. 

"I had to see you," Alastor signs with his now free hands, his face filled with admiration. "I couldn't bear to be away from you any longer."

You gaze up at him through your eyelashes, overwhelmed by the depth of emotion coursing through your veins. You can almost kiss him. "Thank you." After signing, your fingers touch the petals of the bouquet. "What a lovely surprise! What's the occasion for the flowers?"

His thoughts of you are more than just friendly, but for now, he is content to bask in the warmth of your presence. His eyebrow twitches. What's the occasion? You always say the strangest things.

"Just wanted to brighten your day," he replies, his eyes dropping to the flowers. Their vibrant colors perfectly match the costume. 

"They're beautiful, Alastor. Thank you."

You walk towards the door he entered through, and he follows you, letting you lead the way. 

Your cozy trailer now smells of fresh blooms. 

A familiar, harsh glow of fluorescent lights casts shadows across the room, painting your temporary home in hues of yellow and gold. You sit perched on the sofa's edge, fingers tracing delicate patterns on the fabric, your heart fluttering like a caged bird.

Beside you, Alastor sits with an air of casualness that disguised the storm of emotions within him. There's a newfound curiosity; perhaps his mother's words are getting to him. His feelings are uninvited, unintentional, and unwelcomed. His gaze lingers on you, drinking how your eyes sparkle in the dim light, the curve of your fingers soft and inviting. The minutes last for eternities as you sit quietly. There is a faint sound of the people walking outside, and for Alastor, it heightens the tension of you two being alone together.

You have nothing to say. If you even look at him, you worry that your face will flush. His words, I couldn't bear to be away from you any longer, repeat in your mind's eye. His signing is always so delicate, so beautiful. Oh, how you've missed him. You didn't even realize how much you cherished him.

Finally, unable to bear the weight of the silence any longer, he puts a hand on your knee and keeps it there while his other signs. "Your thoughts are loud."

Are they?

You turn to him, your eyes searching his for any hint of truth. "You've caught me off guard," you admit, hesitant to show what you'd consider vulnerability, something you refuse to display. He instantly notices how different your demeanor is from what he knew.

Your gazes lock, the air crackling with electricity as you dance around the ridge of something unspoken, plain, and nowhere near sudden.

With a tentative hand, you grab his wrist and remove his hand from you. You don't let him go. The air seems still. And then, in the space between heartbeats, you bring his hand up to your lips and place a small kiss along his knuckle. The world around him fades into insignificance, and he loses himself. His mother is going to think she's psychic.

You release his hand, noticing the friendship bracelet you had made all the years ago, and it takes him a second before he returns it to his lap.

You sign. "I greatly appreciate this... and you."

Is there a but?

There's a significant pause before your next sentence as if you're going through all his possible responses. "I've missed you dearly."

He smiles. "I'm glad."

The look on your face reads as if you're confessing a secret. All you can do is nod and stand, adjusting your costume. "Good, so how long are you staying?"

.

You found yourself embarrassed at how you acted when he had come to visit. You were closed off in a way you promised you'd never be to him, you know it's due to the months spent away from him (and with annoying strangers). You embark on a mission to express your affection in the most simple, traditional way. On the nights you can't sleep, you spend hours crafting a heartfelt letter, each word carefully chosen. You don't want your intentions to be obvious, but you also want him to be able to infer what you're spelling out.

The summer heat gives you a headache as much as your mother's cocky smirk does when you hand her the letter. You roll your eyes, "Just send this to him."

She looks over the envelope, signing with one hand. "A love letter, huh?"

"Maybe."

She lifts her chin and shakes her shoulders.

His mother opens all of his mail except for the ones you send. Days after your mother sends it, his opens her mailbox and immediately she recognizes your handwriting and the regular postal stamps you use.

When she tosses it on the table in front of Alastor, a bright smile lights up on his face. He opens it carefully to keep your current address intact and his mother watches with a calm smile. His expression softens as he reads the words penned with care, soft poetry that only an artist can write. 

"Is it what I think it is?" His mother asks. 

"Mother." He grits his teeth, and she giggles, giving him mercy for his attitude, but only this once. She's happy to have won in the continuous teasing.

.

Amidst the falling leaves and the whisper of the autumn breeze, when his response letter gets handed to you, you open it as soon as you can. Your forbearing attitude remains intact but your breathing noticeably quickens with the silent symphony of love. It's as enduring as the changing seasons. Fall has begun; you're going to see him again.

With a strange affection, you hold the letter to your chest. You note his last line: "I'll see you soon, my love."

[should-know-better]

I think that Silverscreen is about that horrible interview

I've looked at the lyrics to Silverscreen over and over again, and just couldn't relate to them being about Alex or Hannah. Something just didn't feel right. For a start, when the song was written, Miles and Hannah hadn't broken up - in fact, they were together for another four months - so although the song appears to be about acting, I felt it couldn't be about her.

Then, there was consideration, that it could have been about Alex and the façade of his straight behaviour but the line 'patent boots, lipstick rouge' didn't fit (interestingly years later, Alex did have some patent boots for The Car tour).

I think that this is Miles' angry song about the RB interview in Spin Magazine (I refuse to even use her name).

Two-faced Johnny, hotel lobby A two-faced person is someone who is not sincere and says complimentary things to your face, but horrible things behind your back. 'Johnny' or 'Little Johnny' is a character often used in funny jokes or anecdotes, so Miles is creating a juxtaposition here. The interview did take place in the lobby of the Bowery Hotel in New York. In many of Miles' songs, he sets the scene in the first line.

I won't go up without you This is similar to what she reported he'd said. Growing up, Miles and Alex would have seen many British tv shows which had many double entendres in them (the Carry On films, Open All Hours, Are You Being Served to name but a few), and much of this humour is seen throughout their interviews. It's of a specific time and it's difficult for some non-UK people to fully appreciate. This is why she took the quip the wrong way. When interviewers say that Miles and Alex are talking in their own language, I feel that they don't realise that they are quoting different comedy lines to each other, to make each other laugh.

Patent boots, lipstick rouge, For the first time today, I looked up online pictures of RB and discovered that she does indeed wear bright red lipstick. There's black boots, but too difficult to say if they are patent.

hang on the edge of champagne flutes She works by writing about people who are rich and successful, literally, a hanger-on to the music industry.

Misdemeanour, gossip cleaner, She's made out that he has done something wrong, and she's created gossip. 'Cleaning up' is a phrase that means making money.

overacting table reader. Ego driver, loose-lip liar A table read is a run through of the script, done by actors just speaking the lines, i.e. there's no action. Nothing happened. She's making it out to be more than it actually was, (building up her ego) by suggesting that a rock star would try to seduce her. She's a liar.

driving my head in A colloquialism - 'doing my head in' is a phrase used in the North of the UK, meaning, it's making me so angry, I can't stop thinking about it.

I can't see silverscreens, He's saying to her, it's no good acting, this is not a film

you won't leave it alone, I don't care what you mean, I don't buy your next scene She repeatedly interpreted aspects from the interview the wrong way and he can't believe what she's written about him. Also, the repeat of 'you won't leave it alone' could refer to that it was reported that she didn't accept his apology.

Surface tension, I won't mention, liar, liar, liar ha This either refers to the tension in the interview itself, or the tension that the interview has created afterwards for Miles. She lied about it and made his comments out to be more than they were.

Dirty finger, constant linger, driving my head in A dirty finger means 'fuck you' as in when you show the middle finger to someone. Miles is still angry about this interview, months later, when he's writing the song. The interview was in March, he wrote the song in September. Perhaps the repeated phrase of 'you won't leave it alone,' also is him talking to himself. He can't get over it and he thinks about it a lot.

We know that Miles says that he is truthful in his lyrics, but in the John Kennedy interview, he says: "yes, it's a real angry one, it's like, I wanna keep a bit of the mystery there..." knowing full well that bringing this up again would do him more harm than good.

As usual, these are just my thoughts and interpretations on the lyrics and I don't mean to open up a can of worms about the RB interview again. Any comments are welcome 😊

[tanobatcher]

This is probably waaay too soon but wow-y that crosshair fic was incredible, any chance there be a semi sequel, maybe where crosshair does end up getting more of that sun 😎 and ofc time with the reader too. Would they try to hide what they have together now? Tho I’m sure phee and the batch would pick up on the higher frequency that crosshair and the reader talk at now 🤭

I can’t just leave it at this tho cause wow… you wrote the characters so well, I’m not kidding. Phee and omega (and the boys too) were so in character I loved the little story time at the beginning. And then theres the reader! They had some spunk it’s been a long time since I’ve seen an x reader written like this. I really do think if crosshair had found someone they’d be like this.

And then the whole bedroom scene 🫣 wow. The interruptions and laughing felt so wholesome and natural 🥹 very funny. Very glad crosshair found some time to … relax 💀 and that reader was able to help. I’m sure he’ll help them out too 😂

omg thank you so much! i'm so glad you enjoyed hehe i had fun writing it <3 i'm happy to hear that you appreciated the reader pov, i personally love bringing the reader pov to life a bit with more confidence and such. and yes he helped them out for sure 😏 here's the part two with the sunlight crosshair def needs ;)

fireworks: part ii

part i is linked here!

crosshair x gender-neutral jedi reader (fem anatomy)

summary: after hooking up on the night of lyana's birthday celebration, you and crosshair are now navigating the early stages of a relationship you didn't expect to experience this quickly into your retirement.

warnings: a little suggestive but nothing explicit

a/n: we have crosshair collecting the huzz and touching grass now lfg

₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎

Sleeping in Crosshair's room is a bit different from what you're used to in your own home. Hardly any sunlight peaks through his tightly drawn curtains, which means you wake up to noise rather than the early afternoon glow that usually warms your skin as your alarm to start the day. It's safe to say that Clone Force 99's household never rests, even after leaving behind a life of fighting and surviving. You hear a muffled squabble in the kitchen as your eyes flutter open and slowly register the dimly lit space, nearly laughing at the sound of Omega's exasperated tone over everyone else's.

The large, nimble hand palmed across your waist shifts absentmindedly when you try to sit up. Before you can react, you're suddenly pulled toward a hard surface that you quickly register as Crosshair's chest. It's rising and falling steadily, calm like the slumber you know he hasn't risen from yet. You turn on your side to face him, reaching forward with a careful finger that runs along his face in slow lines. His skin is impressively smooth and well taken care of. You're not aware of the smile curving your lips until you catch your heart beating a little faster all of a sudden, betraying your peace with emotions that leave your judgment clouded.

So, as much as you'd like to stay in his arms for as long as he'd allow you, your memories from last night begin to catch up in questions. Was it just a hookup? A one-time thing? And how would it look if someone caught you leaving his room—like this? You think about Omega, whose maturity doesn't change the fact that she's still young. Your life as a Jedi taught you the importance of setting an example, which isn't exactly easy in this current situation. But it's not that you're ashamed of what you and Crosshair did last night—what you did together. You won't regret coming here, and you'd even enjoy more of his company going forward.

But maybe that's just something you'll have to tell him when he's awake. Your eyes flick toward the door upon hearing some footsteps closing in before turning back to him. His lips are pressed in a soft line that you can't help but kiss just once, quickly and quietly as if it never happened at all. Untangling yourself from him, you hardly make a sound while climbing out of bed and heading toward his window which luckily opens enough for you to slip away into the street. This great escape appears dramatic when your feet hit the ground and your body instinctively crouches in response, but your house is close enough for the moment to feel short-lived.

A few hours later, you find yourself sitting at the docks while listening to the morning rush of the fishing crews settling their sails for the day. Some greet you when they recognize you, while others notice your state of tranquility and simply leave you to it. Your legs are hanging off the edge with your shoes kicked off somewhere you don’t exactly remember, allowing your feet to skim through the waves splashing low and gentle. The skies are clear, empty of any anomalies other than the occasional flock of birds singing overhead. But your mind is occupied—filled with a certain someone you can’t stop thinking about.

"Hey, stranger," a familiar voice says from behind you.

You turn your head and follow your friend’s figure as she sits down beside you with her contagious smile. "Good morning, Phee."

She looks at you a little warily, but you don’t miss the amusement in her eyes. A knowing question seems to be bubbling—you can feel it—but she hasn’t said anything yet. So, you raise your eyebrows at her while also maintaining the silence.

"I didn’t see you last night. At the celebration," she brings up casually, stretching her arms over her head before leaning back on them.

Your cheeks tinge with warmth at this, but your expression remains cool. "I stopped by. Gave Lyana her gift."

"Did you, now?"

"Uh-huh. You can ask her yourself."

Phee chuckles and shakes her head, nudging you a bit with her shoulder. "Yeah, I believe you."

Unconvinced, you ask, "Is there something you’d like to know?"

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"I can’t seem to think of anything, no…"

You look at each other again before laughing, no doubt earning curious glances from the people around the docks. Casting a watchful stare across your surroundings, you lean in a little closer and lower your voice. She copies your movements, but you can tell she already has an idea of what you’re about to reveal.

"I might’ve..." you say, "...spent the night with Crosshair."

She pulls back, no doubt triumphant. "As in…?"

Feeling what she’s insinuating, you shake your head. "We didn’t sleep together, but…"

"But you had your fun," she finishes for you.

The warm blush on your cheeks intensifies as you focus your gaze on the horizon. "Yeah. It was fun."

"So, where is he?"

An odd pang of guilt sparks your heartbeat as the question of whether or not you should’ve left without saying anything this morning re-emerges. But you merely shrug and answer, "I’m not sure. He was still sleeping when I headed out."

"You haven't talked to him today?"

"No...not yet, at least."

"That’s a little cold," Phee reacts, doubling back when she sees your eyebrows draw together in concern, “I’m sure he didn’t take it personally, though."

"Do you think it came across as personal?"

"No, but…I guess it was just a hookup. People do that all the time—you get what you came for, and then you leave. It’s not serious if you don’t want it to be."

You consider her words, realizing that wasn’t how you wanted to treat this encounter at all. But you’ve also never been in a real relationship before, given your commitment to the Order. But now, there’s a vacancy you can fill with what you’re interested in. Who.

"I like him," you admit, "I’ve always found him interesting, to say the least. I just don't know how I feel about being someone's partner right now. And I don't know if this even meant anything to him."

Phee opens her mouth to reply, but you suddenly cringe at yourself and shake your head. "It's okay. I'd rather not overthink this right now. I'll talk to him eventually."

The pirate studies you carefully before nodding in understanding, which you're grateful for. Even in the short time you've enjoyed her friendship, you can always rely on her unwavering support in any shape or form. She squeezes your shoulder reassuringly and then stands, leaving you to your thoughts as she joins a group just about to push off into the wide expanse surrounding this island. They wave at you from their boat, and you wave back until they're nothing but a small dot along the brightening horizon.

Your skin suddenly begins to tingle for a reason you're unsure of until the sensation reaches the top of your scalp. Instinct tells you to look over your shoulder, so you do, unsurprised when your gaze immediately finds Crosshair in the distance. He's standing alone on an upper level, obviously watching you with his arms folded over his chest and a thin toothpick between his teeth. You wonder if you've lost your touch over the past few months as you realize he's probably been there this entire time, given the way his eyebrows lift at your unwavering stare. It's brief and subtle, like most of his expressions, but you see the slight irritation. The questioning silence. You feel it, too. You feel him.

You nod your head to the side a bit, telling him to join you down here. It doesn't disappoint you when he disappears from sight, for he quickly emerges from the crowds once again and walks across the harbor toward you. His strides are careful—a little bored. But they're also long and confident, which is why he's standing over you before you can even blink.

"Trying to meet your daily quota?" You ask as you look up at him, maintaining a level tone and expression despite the flashbacks from last night circulating through your mind. It feels strange to be initiating small talk after his face was between your legs, but you can't think of anything else to say at the moment.

"Of what?" His voice is equally calm as yours, also hardly revealing anything that might indicate his perspective on last night.

You smile and squint a bit. "The sunshine."

He rolls his eyes and turns his head to the side before staring down at you again. "I thought you'd be here. Guess I was right."

"You were looking for me?"

"Mhm."

"I'm flattered," you face forward and lean back on your palms, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, then?"

You hear him exhale softly, but it isn't until he's seated beside you that you realize he was laughing just now. While your legs are extended toward the ocean, his are still drawn inward and resting lazily along the dock. Neither of you moves when his knee meets your hip, except for the glance you steal at him. This turns into a shared gaze when he meets your eyes, and you're unable to look away. Or, you just don't want to.

"At least close the window on your way out," he drawls, "It's common courtesy."

This startles you as the warm, embarrassed rush from your earlier conversation with Phee returns to your cheeks. But you don't feel or hear any malice in his tone, which is why you chuckle in response. His lips curve into a slight smile upon hearing the sound.

"Sorry," you apologize, "My goal was to not disrupt your beauty sleep. I'm a bit of an amateur at these kinds of things."

"Hm. Didn't seem like it last night."

The heat in your body coalesces stronger and lower at this remark. Or...is it a compliment? You hum low under your breath to yourself before replying, "Is that what you're here to talk about? Last night?"

He holds your gaze as he takes his toothpick between his fingers and tosses it away, letting it land somewhere across the dock. "No, actually."

You lean closer to him a little, sliding your palm toward him for better proximity. It's hard to miss the way his throat bobs in exchange for his silence.

"What is it, then?" You ask softly.

"Nothing," he shrugs, "That's all I wanted to tell you. For next time."

A smile twinkles in your eyes at this. "Next time, huh? I wouldn't mind a next time."

"I wouldn't either."

Maybe that's all he planned to talk about, but you find yourself continuing the conversation without thinking it through. The truth just slips out naturally—comfortably, even. And you know he's listening with how intently he watches you. This would have made you nervous if not for your own desire to be at the center of his attention at the moment—the receiver of his understanding. So, you're unapologetic when you tell him, "I also wouldn't mind going on a date with you...sometime."

His lips part in surprise, but he easily replies, "I'm free tonight."

"You're free all the time."

"Do you want me to change my mind?"

You laugh and run your hand upward, gripping his shirt gently while pulling him closer. He seems to know what's about to play out, and he doesn't complain or protest. He kisses you back, or you kiss him, but it's a collective effort either way. Pausing to take a breath, your noses touch as you answer, "No. I don't want you to change your mind."

Crosshair's smirk is arrogantly smug, but his gaze is soft as he kisses you again. This time, it's deeper and a little more shameless. It earns some suspiciously loud whistles in the background—the source of which you can identify before even turning around. You do anyway, feeling Crosshair's eyes fixated on you. Along the upper levels, you see Wrecker cupping his hands around his mouth as a string of teasing triumph sounds from his thunderous voice. At his side is his other brother, Hunter, who sports a curious but also slightly disapproving frown. He's covering Omega's eyes, but she doesn't seem to appreciate this gesture. So much for privacy.

A gentle finger against your jaw turns your face back to Crosshair, who slides the rest of his hand across your cheek when you're looking at him again. His expression appears unfazed, but this doesn't come as a surprise to you. Pressing another kiss to his mouth, you take his hand away from your face to hold it in your lap and turn it over a few times. This is his prosthetic—the hand he lost from a fight you haven't heard the full story of. He lets you touch him, secretly wondering what's so intriguing. When you ask, "What happened?" he says, "It's a long story."

This, you believe. But no matter how long this story is or how long ago it occurred, you'd like to know. You smile at him before lacing your fingers together and leaning your head against his shoulder, just looking out into the horizon together. The ocean beats against your feet every now and then to remind you that it's still there, but you can't ever forget. Pabu is infinitely woven into your soul, including its memories that now belong to you as well. And the people. The person.

"I have time," you tell him. All the time in the world.

[crayonsquadlilac]

I had to scribble out his ending dialogue. I just couldn't lose this image i had in my head, of this poor charachter who tried his best still (for lack of a better word) dying, and not screaming or crying when it's happening but instead saying this and then gently apologizing, like it's his fault, and that's the last he ever says. I think this scene's gonna stick with me for a while.

I'm actually so sick about him like god like "I've wasted my whole life hiding, I think I should try saying hello." God. Me when the character is kind and well meaning and funny and silly and yet tragic by nature. Me when the character never gets the good ending they deserved (in a well written way.). What the Hell. God

Super Ultra Rambling under the readmore if you're curious about my elaborate Thoughts;

Ik is my favorite charachter because he is very silly and my best friend ever in the world but also because of the Tragedies. He's a person used to fear, a people pleaser, who let mr. Sob manipulate him and turn his hotel into something he never wanted, simply pretending it was still the same, who spends the whole game trying so hard to keep you in high spirits and unworried even when he himself is terrified. Someone who cares too much and tries so hard and probably never even gave nearly as much to himself as he did to others. Even at the end, as he describes to you all the horrors that unfolded on earth, he makes jokes and quips and keeps up his goofy manner of speaking despite the information clearly disturbing him.

When he tells you the story of his death, he never once mentions anything about how sad it is, and if you respond with "I'm sorry," he says like basically "oh it's fine," before hesitating with a concerned look on his face. His death may be something he avoids thinking about a lot.

And describing him, i can't help but relate to him, understand him, perhaps that's why I am so Insane about him right now.

I think this game is about, no matter what happens, at the end of it all it will still be the end. It may even end sooner than you'd expect. The human race before dying out solved all their problems and created a perfect world, Ik tried hard to do good and make people happy, Mr. Sob gained his own twisted control over many souls of the afterlife, you the player just kept going onward as much you could, but they all came to the same unceremonious end. I suppose it all matters on your perspective- do you focus on the ending, or how you got there?

When Ik tells you about his death, he describes how he saw the stars, and the view of his town from all the way high up, how he stopped and looked for a long time. But he couldn't stay forever, he had to keep moving. I think that's the part that mattered most. Even in so terrible a situation, he got something beautiful out of it. And like i guess part of the game is, "we can't stop what's coming, there's no use hiding, so we may as well face it with a smile and a greeting." Or maybe more like "the time will pass anyways" type of thing. If that makes sense.

I've seen some people interpret the Morning as everyone is brought to a final resting place peacefully. And of course, it's wide open for everyone to interpret it however, but for me personally I thiiiink Ik was probably right about it being the end of time. The thing seemed a little bit too obliterating-you-type-deal in the final cutscene. All the humans are dead and it's time for their afterlife to go too now. Maybe it's to make room for something that'll replace us, or to start over from scratch with everything, but for all the human souls, it's the end.

Maybe the sole survivor of all existence is Shrimp, in the afterlife, always running from the Morning, wandering for eternity. Which i say to be silly but also that would be really sad actually. He'd be alone... he'd get hungry and there'd be no one there to feed him lounge chairs and tables and glass vases..... poor shrimp..........

I don't know if it would have been better or worse if you could just find his abandoned collar on the ground somewhere before that last lantern. Probably worse actually. Yeah no I'm glad that's not a thing. I'm sorry for saying that.

But anyway, what a damn good game. I'm sad it didn't get more attention when it came out, it feels like such a passion project. I feel bad for only finding out it exists recently. I'll try my best with telling all my friends to play it too though. Cause like oh man. Good god. It made me laugh, it made me scared, and now it's made me cry, drawing and typing this post. It's a thinker. I love existential wonder in media, but this one is more like, existential indifference or something. but it doesn't feel cynical at all, i don't know. I like it a lot. Putting it right up there with my favorites.

also actually nevermind fuck all that noise good ending where the morning never comes and they just wander the woods forever together yippee wahoo!! who needs themes and messages and meanings !!!! when The Characters could be happy !!!!!!!

jtjfjfjdhdjskfskdkdsfdhdhsfjcjdhfhshsfhd everything is fine i am Fine definitely not Crying More why would you think that

[thethreeeyed-raven]

saw you wanted people to send you opla zoro requests so I have one for you :)) may I request a opla zoro x fem reader where the reader maybe assumes that zoro and nami have something going on (yk that one scene where they're playing the drinking game and that chemistry they had) so she distances herself from zoro thinking he doesn't like her back when he does? I would really like some good old angst but ending it with fluff. (Maybe Zoro and the reader have an argument) Thank you so much!

serene

navigation | warnings : angst to fluff | a/n : tysm for your req, i enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoy reading! | roronoa zoro playlist | tags : @fangsp1der-2099 , @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom , @knight-of-flowerss

"Jealousy is not a good look on you."

You whipped your head around to see Usopp looking back at you, flashing a knowing smirk.

"What can I say, I'm an envious person." You shrugged nonchalantly.

Usopp made his way to stand next to you copying your stance of resting on the railing.

"It's not like it will have any affect, they both clearly have their own thing going on." You gestured glumly to Zoro and Nami who stood laughing amongst themselves.

What was she saying that was so funny anyway? You could make Zoro laugh more.

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Oh, Usopp.

You sighed and forced your gaze away from Zoro. "It's not that easy."

Though Zoro was a quiet person, that didn't mean he wasn't observant.

He'd noticed you'd been trying to avoid him, which was hard considering you lived on the same ship as him, and were on the same crew.

Zoro left it for a while, deciding not to speak up because he thought it was just a phase you were going through.

He took notice of your lingering looks when he spoke with Nami, but the thought of jealousy never crossed his mind.

Zoro wasn't the only observant member of the crew, Sanji and Nami noticed something was wrong with you.

Nami, Sanji and Zoro sat out on the deck underneath Nami's tiny tangerine trees.

Sanji took a puff of his cigarette before filling the silence. "Don't you think Y/n's been acting weird lately?"

Nami looked up from the map she was reading. "Yeah, I've noticed a little bit of tension." She swiftly looked at Zoro and back at Sanji.

"I saw that look." Zoro said bluntly.

Of course, Nami played dumb. "What look?"

"The one you just gave me."

Sanji huffed and shook his head. "Don't you think we should find out? She's our friend."

Both Zoro and Nami nodded.

Both Sanji and Nami tried so hard to get you to open up by pairing you with Zoro for various activities or jobs.

The plan worked for a while, you and Zoro would sit and chat for hours, only when Nami came would you go back to brooding.

Usopp seemed to catch on to Nami and Sanji's plan and told them of your feelings for Zoro and why you would slump every time Nami was around.

Zoro had his own suspicions of your strange behaviour, and decided he would confront you when the others weren't around.

Sighing, you knelt on the railing, gazing upon the vast blue sea.

"Can't sleep?" A deep voice interrupted the tranquil silence, but it was Zoro, so you didn't mind.

"Hmm, what about you?" You turned so you were facing him.

"Too much drink."

Both of you chuckled and your gaze returned to the horizon.

"I've...noticed" Zoro didn't plan exactly what he would say to you, so go with the flow it is. "You've been avoiding me."

"I haven't-"

"Is the problem with me or is it with Nami? Because every time she comes around, you start acting weird and-"

"Because I'm jealous!"

You didn't want to say anything else, so you let him stood there, just him and the stars to talk to.

Ever since that night, you'd been avoiding Zoro even more, almost as if you were afraid you'd catch the plague from him.

None of the crew knew what to do, and it wouldn't help that Zoro wouldn't explain why your behavior had gotten worse, even though they knew he knew something.

This was a job for Luffy.

Luffy found you on the goat head of the Going Merry, making his way over to sit with you.

"Are you alright?"

You turned with surprise, not expecting Luffy. "oh, hey Cap."

"Expecting someone else?" He gave you a dopey smile, adjusting his straw hat.

You shook your head.

"So, what's up with you?"

You huffed, but you could trust Luffy with everything, why not just admit it?

"I told Zoro I was jealous."

"Of?"

You took a minute to go over the thoughts in your head. "Of him and Nami. They're always laughing together and talking. I mean, me and Zoro would do that, but when he's with Nami it just looks..."

"Different?"

"Yeah..."

Luffy knew why you were jealous. "You should tell him how you feel."

Yeah, maybe you should.

"Hey Zoro." You approached him sheepishly.

His eyes widened just a little before greeting you in return.

"So, I came to apologise."

You took in his appearance before remembering why you were actually there.

"I'm sorry. You deserve to know. I was jealous of you and Nami. You both look so happy together and I wanted to be the one to make you smile and laugh like that. Because, unfortunately for me, I've fallen in love with you. And it's okay if you don't feel the same way, I'll understand and we can go back to our normal lives. But I needed you to know."

Instead of interrupting you, Zoro decided to stand and listen, to let you voice your feelings.

When you finished, you stood and gaped at him. Tears were brimming and your cheeks were aflame.

"I'm not good with words." Zoro admitted just a little embarrassed. "But...maybe my actions could help?"

He grabbed your face gently, caressing the redness of your cheeks with such tender strokes you could've melted.

It was when he pressed his lips to yours that your heart finally felt complete, and the weight of jealousy was lifted from your shoulders.

You both didn't say that you had feelings for the other, the serene kiss voiced everything it needed to.

[angelsdean]

you probably noticed this but: right after dean finishes telling the CBGB story, he says “john friggin winchester” and takes a shot, and the jacting joices in that moment are… god. i mean the jacting joices are there the entire time ofc but they kinda give *overemphasizing this as a ‘cool john’ story* to me at first, but in that final moment—dean purses his lips, he shifts in his seat, he stares into the distance… he looks bitter. it’s like dean allows himself to feel bitter about this story for just a second, when sam and cas are no longer looking at him ://

(the exact moment i’m talking about is in a gifset you reposted recently)

Yea there's definitely a vibe throughout the whole thing that he's like, telling it as this "funny anecdote" but underneath there's more feelings brewing about this story. Like the story itself comes up because Sam prompts him to tell it, so it's not even Dean's first thought.

Even Cas asking them "You loved your father?" and Dean's response, "With all I had" is like, on the surface you can take that as a positive statement but it's also pretty vague when you really poke at it. It's like, okay and how much love for your father DID you have? It's not the same as a resounding "Yes, of course!" It's more, "I loved him as much as I personally could, given everything." And I do think Dean loved his father. Dean is full of love and he cares even when people might not deserve it. But, we also know he's no stranger to criticizing his father (as he literally says in the next breath that John was not winning any Dad of the year awards) and acknowledging that he was put through shit he did not deserve at way too young of an age.

Even him saying "damn if he wasn't there when we needed him" it's, I mean, he's literally criticized John for being a deadbeat and leaving them and not answering the phone and putting them in danger before so this line immediately rings hollow. And in the context of the scene it makes sense that he'd say this to Cas because Cas is specifically asking them about John as a way of understanding what a father is supposed to do. He prefaces his questions about John with the fact that HE never knew his father and thus has little experience with this whole Claire situation. He's looking for guidance, so it makes sense that Dean would over-embellish a little and want to paint John in a better light for the sake of telling Cas that "yea a good dad is there for their kids." Which we Know John wasn't always there for them. (Side note but all of this ALSO ties into Rowena and Crowley's subplot this episode, how she abandoned HER kid, wasn't there for him, left him vulnerable but is trying to be there now etc etc. Thematically it's an episode abt imperfect parents and their children). And the fact that Sam prompts the story to me says that Dean was probably just going to leave it at that, simply giving his advice to Cas that good dads are always there for their kids.

But anyways, all this to say, I can definitely see Dean feeling bitter about the story at the end there. Especially as the happy little mood drops and he's no longer trying to "give advice" and is reminded of the case, Claire, and how his own experiences actually relate to hers. It's like he finishes telling the story Sam prompted him to tell in the first place and he remembers, "yeah and that was fucked up. and dad might've been there THEN but what about all the other times he left us vulnerable and open to be preyed on. and now Claire is in the hands of this pseudo-guardian who is also putting her in dangerous and vulnerable situations, and and and."

[rebelrayne]

Hi there 🩷

What are we thinking about the likely reveal that Hamish and Melissa have shagged? Personally I’m pretty sure it has to be them. Because why else would he have been so pressed about her leaving? And the weird things he said?

Ngl I’m a bit nervous about this. I won’t give a fuck and snap him up as soon as I can anyway but still… I wanna hear your theory 👀

Hi Rae!!!

Settle in, babe. Just call me Marisol because I'm about to psychoanalyze this manchild that I am so fucking desperate for. I've got all the opinions under the cut lmfao and it's A LOT of opinions (and a really long headcanon)

Let me know what grade I get on my thesis paper

First let's go back to the scene of the crime: Season 6. Hamish tells us that he has dated someone seriously and it was a girl he'd met back in University. I suppose he does not specify that they were in college at the time that they dated, rather that was where they met. We'll still assume it couldn't have been long after that.

Why is that important? Well, Hamish admits that he's cheated in two different places: in Season 6 during the Judge and Jury challenge, and then once in Season 9 where he says to Finn: "Haven't we all?"

But this is actually contradicting the one of the two times this man has ever seemed human in a group setting: at breakfast when he admits that his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. He was upset, and he looked it. Sure, this could have been Ivy but most likely, it wasn't. It was the first girl and she ripped him apart. I think we all know that Ivy probably got fed up with him because he's kind of fragile and needs someone really patient, and Ivy needs someone very self-assured.

No, this other girl ruined him. Ripped his heart from his chest and stomped on it. The man accidentally admitted he was a virgin until almost 25! So either, this girl was using him to get to said best friend that she cheated on him with, or he did get sex from her out but only because she was tricking him. Not to mention, either way, he got his V card swiped out of pity, I'm sure.

What's this all mean? It means that Hamish is putting up a front. He's trying to make it seem like he's this big party dude, with tons of friends and game. He's rejecting girls left and right, they all want him and so yeah, of course he's cheating-everyone wants a piece of him, right?

Wrong. No one wants him. He's literally the wacky sidekick of the main male character in every romance movie. He's fucking Alan in the Hangover. This man has never cheated on anyone because he's the most insecure man he knows and has ever met. He's trying to make himself seem like he's something he isn't, trying to make others believe that he's just such a player and he doesn't catch feelings-he's too cool for that kind of thing.

Well, until he isn't. The issue with Hamish now is that he wants to keep this façade going. It worked for him in Season 6, didn't it? That's why he was invited back in the first place. He clings to the first girl he couples with, but the thing is, he's messy. He's never had this many girls actually show interest in him. Hell, the only date he had outside of Ivy since the S6 season stood him up.

This man is literally trying to be like his best friend. That guy gets all the girls, doesn't he? He has them chasing after him, pining for him and he's confident as hell about it. Hamish isn't being his true authentic self. He's pretending to be like his best friend, who stole his girlfriend, so that other people think he's cooler than he actually is.

Because let's be honest: Hamish is soooo uncool. Funny, sure, but cool? No.

So to answer the question you have: Did he have sex with Melissa?

No. My very first instinct was that Hamish didn't take a chance. He's been starting to have feelings and he's been too scared to let himself open up because look what happened last time he did? He's stuck because women don't normally pay him any attention but here he's got Natasha, Kat, Melissa and MC all chatting to him. He kind of likes Melissa and MC, too. He has a connection, but he's too scared to just say that.

Melissa leaving-that was a wakeup call because what if MC is next? What if he does what he's always done since his girlfriend fucked his best friend and he doesn't put himself out there? Will he be sad and lonely for the rest of his life?

The answer was yes, so that's why he opened up on the date. "I have a crush on you." because he does. It's going to take more to make him be okay with being vulnerable, he needs someone to be patient with him. He's had this front up for so long that he doesn't know how to take it down.

Not to mention that because Hamish never gets any girls, he's screaming it to everyone when he does. He hasn't been very shy about his affections in challenges, either. Remember Grace? He started to slip up that they'd hooked up. He can't keep a secret at all. Why would he keep it a secret if they had sex? MC would have been the first to know. Hamish might know every bit of tea in that Villa, but he is always talking to MC about it when he has any to spill because he does like her, and he does want to connect with her.

Plus look at his friends!!! He said he was only 15 minutes away from them and kept making wrong turns, yet he wasn't found in that dune for three hours? They weren't looking for him. This guy is essentially Tom 2.0 but in the way that he actually doesn't have friends that like him that much. He's trying to be something he isn't and that's kind of sad to me. I think we're going to continue to see more and more layers. He's way more complex than we thought he was.

TLDR: Hamish is a liar. He's uncool and never cheated but thinks he sounds cooler to everyone if he says he did because he has soooo many girls that want him. Melissa didn't fuck Hamish, he wouldn't be able to keep it quiet if he had.

[masterbuilderintern]

Would you be able to share your Axel headcanons? 👀👀👀👀 I am intrigued.

Congrats you just opened my insanity box.

-Axel shows a lot of symptoms of neglect through hating his own emotions or just a simple scene of him being afraid to outright ask for something from Jesse. Almost all of the scenes I'm thinking of are meant to be jokes but they aren't really funny to me. I take this game WAY too seriously, it's a little embarrassing LMAO.

He's also not nearly as aggressive as he initially seems? Like in his interactions with Lukas, he obviously hated that guy at first but he never physically hurt him. A lot of bark, but only bites if you make him.

A lot of talk just to say he totally had an okay parental figure in his life (personally think he was raised by a single mother) only to lose them very early on and absolutely nobody helped him after the fact. He idolized the griefer attitude, a life where you do whatever you want whenever, where you make your own rules. A very "hurt people hurt people" kind of life and he's not even realizing the issue.

For all members of the treehouse gang, I like to think they ended up together through their shared experience of being constantly let down by a world that should've been there for people like them. Whether it was a specific tragedy or just being a little "different" from other people, it caused them to isolate at some point in their lives.

MORE LIGHTHEARTED HEADCANONS:

-Axel has a quiet interest in brewing. Over time he became less embarrassed about it, especially with Ivor around to teach him better. In my perfect world where Axel and Olivia came along for the portal arc, Axel actually supplied the potions Lukas needed to recover from the Sky City incident.

Sure Ivor could've done it, but "It's good practice." Or that's the excuse Axel gave.

-He's also very good at sewing. Specifically, because he made that creeper mask and Enderdragon costume for Reuben. I just think it's cute. I need to do a sketch page of it but I like to think Axel has a mask collection he made himself.

Axel comes off as a tank main that subclasses as a healer to me.

-Petra is the coolest person ever to him. Even after he gets to know her. He had this unrealistic idea of her for a while but after getting to know her found out they share a lot in a much deeper way than just "the fighters." It changed how he saw her but for the better.

It's almost like when you have an older sister you idolize and when you grow up you still look up to her but you're also aware that she's just a person.

-He's always bickering with Olivia, like all the time. But if anything happened to her he'd become a serial killer real fast.

LESS FUNNY HEADCANONS:

-Axel took brewing more seriously after the F-Bomb incident. He never wants to be in a situation where he doesn't know what to do when someone is hurt ever again.

-Also, Axel has definitely been desensitized to death, he was way too normal about people killing themselves in Boom Town. My man has been THROUGH IT. Well, desensitized to STRANGERS dying, anyway.

-Jesse went with Olivia to Redstonia and Axel went to Boom Town alone. This symbolizes two things. One: It's a really big moment where he admits he's grown to trust Lukas a lot more to keep an eye out for survivors and fortify HQ by himself. Two: Boom Town made Axel realize how flippant he's been with his own safety, and how much he needs to start caring more because he has people in his life now that he doesn't want to lose.

[eebeewrites]

Hi, ok this one might be my last one because I thought I did this one before the Ronan one but I realize I only thought about how to ask it not actually ask it.

How would taleisin be with love that loved like weird, creepy or horror things. Horror movies/games, taxidermy/bones, haunted stuff, etc. I originally thought he would find it cool or get interested in it as well, but I just saw your comment on how he probably doesn’t do well with horror games. And now I find it kinda funny about us going on about our favorite horror game or movie and him trying to watch or play it so next time he sees us he can talk about with us. But he gets the first jump scare, or if it’s psychological, the first twist and he just sits there scared. He either asks to watch it or play it with us or his friends but he just can’t do it.

I imagine like those tiktoks where a scary scene happens and then they pause the movie to put on like a funny vid or kid show. He tries to be brave in front of us or act like he finds the haunted stuff or taxidermy stuff cool but it’s obvious he’s a bit spooked.

I just find this funny to think about, i can’t really decide how he’d actually react to someone who likes stuff like that.

I thank you with every ounce of my being for creating your characters, they are everything and amazing

no thank YOU!! I've talked it about it before, but I started this blog when my main project was making me feel like a shitty writer; y'all have helped build my confidence so much and im eternally grateful <3

Taleisin's been around a bit. He's seen some weird shit, living through the 1920's, and 30's, and 40's, and...you get it. He's read some freaky novels, that was fine. He's known people into taxidermy; he doesn't get it, but that's cool. He's even seen a few ghosts; as long as they're chill, he doesn't mind them.

Yet something about horror movies and games just. Fucks him up. He doesn't know why. I think he's the type of person where if there's a game he's interested in with horror elements, he'd watch someone else play it. He couldn't handle playing it himself.

The first thing that comes to my mind is the 'I gently open the door' scene from Doki Doki Literature Club for some reason. Something like that would freak him the fuck out. Like backs up, screams like a girl freak the fuck out.

I think his friends absolutely give him shit for it. It's part of why when they overhear that over mic in the main story, they're so fucked up about it. Yes, he's 102 years old, but he's built like a pixi stick, he's afraid of horror games, and he's just as much of a loser as the rest of them. Yet he did that? Damn, okay.

I like the idea of maybe reader doesn't play games, but she likes watching youtubers play things. She loves horror games, and she has cute gamer boyfriend, so the obvious answer is watch him play games, right?

He doesn't say no. You can tell he's scared, but he's trying really hard not to let it show. But it gets to a point where the game is VERY clearly baiting you into a jumpscare, and he just stops.

"You need to go in there," you'd point at the screen, laying on his shoulder.

"I'm not doing that."

You'd laugh, "but you gotta."

"Uh, no, I don't." You've NEVER seen him this serious before. "You can go in there, but I'm not doing it."

So you take the controller from him, and you inside the room. And of course, there's the scare. It was obvious, really. Yet he still let's out a gasp, hugging his legs against his chest like a little kid.

You're the one that finishes the game.

[buckybarnesss]

I was literally thinking about all the fics where Stiles is like "and then Derek pushed me around 🥺" like... Derek did the steering wheel thing because Stiles made him STRIP FOR A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY.

I started to read an article that opened up by criticizing the "physically abusive sterek ship" and backed out immediately, like you people need to remember that the show exists and that is not based in reality.

Pack mom Stiles.... gah. Stiles would never help Isaac with his homework. Derek would!! But Stiles? Hell no.

Stiles is literally a fucking creep. He walks around telling everyone that he loves Lydia. He has no boundaries. I love him that way. He's a snarky little asshole who would definitely just show up in Derek's apartment one day and Derek would be like "how did you get in here?" And then Stiles reveals that he pretended to be a doordash driver with a delivery and then picked the lock on Derek's front door.

fun fact my url before this one was creeperderek. i am fond of that url. he of loitering at tree lines and creepily disappearing into shadows in the boy's locker room for no fucking reason.

stiles does have a lack of boundaries and really intense anxiety about the people he cares about.

he listens to the police scanner regularly and monitors his father's diet due to his intense, almost uncontrollable anxiety about his father. he's terrified his dad will die and has an intense fear it will because of him.

all of that of course stems from his mother's death when he was so, so young and how claudia in her cognitive decline blamed stiles and accused him of trying to kill her.

this anxiety also extends to scott and melissa to various degrees due to their significance to the stability of his life for so long and why he's irrationally scared to tell his father the truth despite knowing if the sheriff understood what was really happening it would help more than hinder.

than there's other things like how he has a copy to the key to the mccall house that melissa isn't aware of and it's made pretty clear that stiles took the imitative. scott didn't give it to him.

scott doesn't seem all that bothered by this but scott is one of the few people who knows and mostly understand stiles. they live in each other's pockets. scott would be oddly touched but also be like bro what in the fuck? because really, stiles what the fuck?

people find that fucking weird and creepy.

it truly wouldn't surprise me at all if stiles had a copy of the loft key and derek knew he did and said nothing about it because these two are weird little freaks that probably have frequently creeped on each other.

we do get indications they speak outside of what we're shown. two little maladjusted bastards sharing one brain cell to creep on each other.

if stiles showed up in derek's loft derek probably wouldn't even be surprised. in fact he'd tell stiles he took longer than expected, peter did it better and he sucked.

it's so funny that fandom developed the idea that derek sneaks into stiles's bedroom all the time via the window and we literally never see this. it never canonically happens. though it's not said how derek got inside in wolf's bane so maybe a window but frankly i find it more plausible derek just, you know, broke in the house via a door.

putting a read more on this because i had a lot to say lol

stiles and lydia. ooh boy.

sentiment within fandom swayed a lot on these two and i've seen the common argument that sterek fans don't like stydia as a paring because it's not gay, or something to which i say lol no. i, personally, don't ship them romantically because for like 2 seasons stiles didn't see her as person and she mostly ignored his entire existence.

he fixated on lydia in the 3rd grade which would've been around the time claudia declined and than passed away. he held onto that crush tightly, put lydia on a pedestal making her more into an ideal than a person.

there's moments where we see them genuinely connect but there's so many scenes between the two of them until like season 3 that are cringe and uncomfortable. my main issue is that lydia never really says much about it either.

it's like until she becomes a real girl to stiles her position doesn't matter even when we see her be uncomfortable or weirded out around stiles.

we actually do see stiles and derek develop boundaries with each other. stiles uses derek to literally queerbait danny in wolf's bane. both derek and danny seem to realize this as it occurs and derek pointedly, purposefully retaliates with violence which isn't great but it makes it clear that derek is not okay with what stiles did and a line had been crossed. s2 has derek also indicate to stiles it's not okay to touch without permission.

remember the finger tippy taps stiles's gives derek when boyd dies? that's stiles having learned derek's physical boundaries over 3 seasons so that he is able to offer him comfort in a awful, terrible moment.

in conclusion derek and stiles aren't abusive and it's odd people latched onto that idea. they're abrasive assholes to each other and lack boundaries in the beginning because their maladjusted people for various reasons while also just being two little freaks about each other.

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (i'm so happy you're still doing it!)

in a bit darker version of canon, one of the antikilling batfam members actually kills someone (i'm thinking dick or tim). maybe it's an accident, maybe the're spiraling and reach a breaking point or maybe something happened that irrevocably changed their worldview. how do they feel? do they cover it up? do they continue killing? who knows about it, who helps them cover it up, who joins them? how does bruce, the rest of the family and hero community react if they find out?

for the ask game!

ugh i LOVE when characters are pushed over the edge and have to deal with the consequences of their actions. especially Dick and Tim who are just. both so dedicated to their moral codes and having them shatter. you get both versions bc i have thoughts. we'll start with Tim

there are a lot of routes you can take Tim killing someone. but i specifically would have it happen right after the Titans of Tomorrow and/or Lonely Place of Living arc, where Tim faces an evil older version of himself who's very pro-murder and has led the Titans down this dark path as Batman. because that's what Tim's afraid of becoming. he's afraid of what being Batman would do to him, and he's afraid of whether this future is inevitable or not. so to have Tim in this mindset of hypervigilance of what he's capable of and he kills someone anyway? i'd love to toy with the "is the future inevitable or can we change it" concept. i like the idea Tim's kill is Captain Boomerang, given the death of his dad and all. Tim insists up and down to Bruce that he can handle this mission, it won't be too personal for him, he's fine. and the funny thing is, he feels fine. he's compartmentalizing all his feelings pretty well. so well, in fact, he doesn't realize he's killed Boomerang with his bare hands until it's already done, and there's blood everywhere and Tim has to figure out what to do. he has to cope with the inevitability of the future he's convinced he just set into motion.

he would know, realistically, there's no hiding it. especially not from *Bruce*, who knew Tim was on this mission. someone's going to notice Boomerang is missing sooner or later no matter how well Tim cleans up this crime scene. honestly, i think he'd call Helena. he's close to her, and she's pro-murder, making her the least likely to judge him for it. what he doesn't expect is that when she shows up, she takes the blame for it. she fully looks Batman in the eye and says she murdered the guy and somehow, Bruce buys it. Tim keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. because more than just committing murder, it'd terrify Tim to get *away* with murder. to know it was just that easy, he had to call one person and it all went away. Helena doesn't even seem particularly bothered by taking claim for it, she's killed men for less and she thinks she's helping Tim with this, helping ease his conscious on the whole thing. she even tells Bruce that Tim tried to save Boomerang, that's why Tim is covered in the blood. it makes perfect sense to Bruce he doesn't think about it further. so Tim falls deeper into this spiral of knowing what he's gotten away with. and of course he doesn't open up to Helena about the Titans of Tomorrow stuff, so she has no idea how this could rattle Tim so much. why he doesn't believe her when she promises him this is just a one-off thing for him and she knows he won't do it again.

i think Tim's spiral would just keep going. it's one of those paradoxical things, where he is his own enemy. he's convinced himself he is this thing, so he's becoming it. what could've been just a one-off moment fo weakness with a man who hurt him and he got away with becomes an obsession. Tim can't stop considering how selfish it is, that he gets to kill Boomerang and yet everyone else has to live with the people who hurt them being alive. i think it'd be fun, if Tim turned to Tony Zucco, or someone similar who's hurt a member of the Batfamily. it's not a serious idea, it's a late night thought that plagues Tim. if he knows how he would do it, then he can avoid actually doing it. very "Opeidius trying not to fuck his mom" complex. but the more Tim tortures himself over it, the more he notices how easy this is for him. to plan out how he could murder just about anyone and plot a clean getaway for no one to even know there was foul play. he doesn't act on it. he refuses. but it consumes him. if he's awake, he's thinking about how he'd kill the people who hurt his family, and how easily he could get away with it.

eventually, Tim forces himself into early retirement. it's so sudden, no one expects Tim to just suddenly say he's hanging up the cape. everyone has at some point, gotten cold feet and insisted they were done with the life, but Tim. he really means it. he stops being a vigilante completely, he doesn't even like running comms. he starts to isolate himself just to be sure he won't get to close to someone to want to kill for them. no one can really get through to him and talk to him about what's going on, and it's been enough time since the Boomerang incident that no one, not even Helena, seems to put the pieces together about that being the catalyst to all of this. they want to respect his decision, but something is clearly wrong and no one can figure out what it is. they try to reach out but well. the world keeps turning. there are crises and villain attacks to deal with and eventually, it slips on everyone's mind to check on Tim because they have to save the world again.

in the end, it all comes back to that inevitability. Tim does kill again. who he kills and how he kills them doesn't even matter, and that's the worst part. he knows it doesn't matter because this was a path he set himself down bc he could never avoid it in the first place. he kills and he gets away with it, even when he's not a vigilante. he never would've ended up on this path if he hadn't seen his future self. grandfather paradox and all that. eventually, Bruce does find out. but by then it's too late, and Bruce has no real hard proof, just a suspicion he can't tell anyone else because everyone would just jump to Tim's defense. Tim has Bruce in a corner, and for once. Tim starts to kind of enjoy the game. madness spirals babey.

and of course, the Dick version

i know, with Dick, we all like to talk about that time Dick technically made the Joker's heart stop by beating him so badly. and sure, that's a fun canon moment. but it's the *Joker*, you know. i think Dick accidentally killing someone is far more fun if it's just. some henchmen. some low level villain who would've at best gotten a five year sentence for what the did. you can almost rationalize it, when it's the Joker. but when it's no one? it's just some guy? that's crunchy. that's far worse to handle. Dick wouldn't mean to do, it was the stars aligning for the worst situation. he doesn't pull his punches because he's tired and angry about something unrelated he doesn't even remember. and he just. keeps punching until some random guy is dead underneath him. and there's no bringing him back.

Dick would confess *immediately*. like, he'd firmly believe he needs to face consequences for what he did and it's the only way to rectify the situation. Bruce has taught him everybody deserves justice and Dick is sticking to those guns. he tells Bruce, he tells the Titans, hell, he even tries pretty hard to turn himself in to the police. of course no one will let him though. because it's *Dick*. they know it was an accident. they know Dick would never dream of doing that on purpose and that Dick shouldn't destroy his life for a mistake. and Dick is so torn up that no one will let him face real consequences. everyone tries to tell him stories of the people they failed to save, but to Dick, this is different. this isn't getting there too late and the bomb goes off, this is beating a man with his own fists until he felt the guy's chest cave in and still going anyway. the guilt eats Dick alive.

Dick would have a panic spiral, but very different to Tim's in the above. instead of being terrified and self isolating, Dick forces himself into overdrive. if he can't get anyone to let him face real consequences for what he did, then he has to make up for it. he has to save *every person* he can. he's overworking himself on this desperate need to be better. he knows it's unsustainable and so does everyone else, but Dick won't stop until he literally collapses. because if he had energy to kill someone, then he has to have energy to save someone.

there of course comes a breaking point. Dick stretches himself too thin and i think the culmination of it would be a long talk with Bruce. maybe Bruce opens up about the people he failed to save and they really discuss it all. Dick's guilt, his fear of himself, his anger, all of it. it's probably the closest Dick comes to therapy about all this. i do think. it's fun if some more unsavory people like Slade find out about what Dick did and try to use it as an in to manipulate Dick. pull the whole "you're no better than me, now we both know what you're capable of". and Dick has to fight that. he's stuck between a genuine support system and Slade or someone similar trying to drag him down. bc Dick knows he's not a killer, but deep down that voice inside of him is impossible to silence completely.

though i think Dick comes out stronger at the end of it, he would falter, for just a moment. he has a brief time where he almost gives in, or maybe he starts to give in. he agrees to be Slade's apprentice, unable to cope with his guilt. he's so close to killing again, but it's the light at the end of the tunnel, realizing he could never do this again. it snaps Dick out of it. he's never going to uproot the worst of the guilt from his chest but he's proven it to himself this isn't who he is. he's able to be stable again and it's all a growing moment. that said, it still haunts him. when Jason comes back from the dead, he hears whispers that Dick killed someone, and Jason holds it over his head in fights. villains know about it. maybe it even taints Dick's image, the whispers of how Nightwing beat a guy to death once. sure, he grows from it and all, but it never *quite* leaves him.