#and people smashed their head on their keyboard when they saw it

[lazydreamartryn]

LIGHTS OFF

REDRAW!! -> Check all pics!!

There is two of each!!

I decided to redo my most adored drawing in the new style!

Im first showing the new ones and underneath will show the before so you can compare!

Before:

[kalims]

⭒ㅤnot gonna lie !

premise. pov prefect opens a ngl, except! the story they shared it from can only be viewed... by one person!

characters. first years

ace

not gonna lie ! smash tbh

unironically pretends that he never sent one when you start bombarding him.

uniquewhere: i didn't even see ur story

shrimp: [attatchment]

uniquewhere: i have no wifi to see that sorry not sorry

vehement denial is actually the most effective defense according to him. even if it bypasses all forms of realism, it's not real if he doesn't believe it to be! <- real life advice from ace trappola guys.

if you haven’t already guessed, he can indeed see the picture you just sent and just assumes his very first form of defense… no amount of proof will remove him from his little ball of: “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

you gotta prepare some kind of miscrosoft presentation, and sit him down. though he will 100% do that thing where he plugs his ears in with his fingers pretending he doesn’t hear anything even though it doesn’t block out you reading out the words.

“here is the real, actual screenshot of my replies—”

“I NEVER EVEN SAW YOUR STORY.”

“ah, good! next slide after this is the views of the story!”

deuce

not gonna lie ! i like you

very demure, very straight to the point is deuce.

he would've written some long ass paragraph in all honesty but he just can't because he sees what he writes, deletes it, then cringes to himself.

atleast with that one he has the excuse for whichever scenario that might randomly ask about it.. (yes, he's thinking that far) weird flex but ok

1. "you ever confessed to your crush?" someone asking

2. "yeah sorta....." deuce

3. "???" someone confused

he was feeling reaaallyyy proud of himself. the anxiousness finally settles down, alongside with his rapidly beating heart. even if it isn't a real, confession it still brings him a bit of peace.

shrimp: I know what you did

tokyodefenders: WHAT?

there goes his heart rate.

like, you did not offer context to any of that but he's still gonna think you somehow, actually do know even if you didn't provide an explanation to... whatever it is you know about him!

tokyodefenders: whaTEVER IT IS IS NKT TRUE

shrimp: please, ur breaking my heart

shrimp: I like u too :(

heart? ascended

he's not even gonna question it. all his braincells got dumped out, and all he can focus on is that particular message. he isn't even gonna remember backtracking about the ngl cause he's gonna be like:

how did they hack my keyboard.. are they tracking it?! LOL

"I'm a mastermind,"

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!" <- deuce, scared for his life.

jack

not gonna lie ! stop getting into trouble. I'm not always there to pull you out

is concerned with how many times you've managed to unknowingly walk into trouble, jack had been lucky enough (yes, him. not you, cause knowing you, you wouldn't be too phased) to be a near constant presence when the shenanigans during the tournament concluded, he stuck to you then.

as in reluctantly following around you like a tail. narrowing his eyes at the less than friendly faces often wore around you, that you were... well, amazingly oblivious to. or maybe you acted like you didn't know, the carriage didn't pick you up for nothing if you were here in nrc.

shrimp: do u rlly think I'm a troublemaker?

iheldheroncejacob: yes

the random topic being brought up went completely over his head. jack probably had forgotten he'd given the link to your story the time of your day, in all honesty

shrimp: well maybe I keep getting in trouble so u can rush in, and pull me out?

iheldheroncejacob: you're a terrible friend then

shrimp: :(

in retrospect jack is able to keep up with joking around, usually. but it's so hard to take you seriously that he takes whatever you say with a grain of salt, you're almost always tipping between flat sarcasm, or calm nonchalance between your words. it almost always has something to do with the people you're with.

the heartslabyul prefect for example, you take a kind, subtle undertone of teasing to (which is crazy, because you're scarily tame in the presence of the vice-dorm head.) and then you're all stony faced when you're with someone you don't like.

^ and you obviously don't dislike jack, if the little selfish, presumptuous nrc part of him would like to claim confidently so... would you really be joking?

only does jack realize the connection between your text, and the ask he sent when he's just finished his laps.

"I'm not your guard dog! why would you even get in trouble for that, next time I'm not even gonna spare you the time cause—"

"what a pee brain."

"what? don't compare my brain to a tiny pee—"

epel

not gonna lie ! CAN I PLS TRANSFER TO RAMSHACKLE AHHHH

you've never met anyone who's disliked being sorted into whatever the dark mirror fitted their 'soul' into as much as epel.

even without the private story only limited to his response, you're sure you could pick out his message and put a face to it.

epel, in his defense, still has savanaclaw as number one in his heart. though upon asking jack if it was possible to transfer there, the latter confirmed but it was... a tedious process, and suggested asking rook, who literally came from savanaclaw!

the boy only spared his friend a side glance before scurrying away. no use traipsing around that...

but of course, getting away from pomefiore is only a goal! always being near your proximity was a biiiiig bonus!

shrimp: hey I need ur files for the dorm transfer

catchwhathands: [escapeplan.jpg]

catchwhathands: I knew u wanted me in ur dorm!!

shrimp: actually I don't. ur the one that asked ;)

catchwhathands: who cares. I'm finally getting out of this hell YEAHHHH!!

shrimp: who said I was gonna use the files you sent?

okay, admittedly the moment he'd sent over the files, epel shut his phone, and quite literally did a victory lap around his room. making sure to frolic so vil has less chances of hearing his chaos...

the dorm leader woke up so easily from noises that you'd think rook was the reason he developed such a habit.

probably.

epel was already planning the plan! he could see the vision! maybe he could plant around ramshackle since it is a pretty big area. you guys would be together for the remainder of the year—and he'd finally bump the adeuce duo from their pedestal!

*ping*

"AGHHHHH STUPID FRIGGIN'—"

"epel!"

"sorry..."

sebek

not gonna lie ! since it is a request for unbridled honesty, I shall deliver what you've requested. you have done so without much thought, clearly! if you've given such leeway for... criticism! you, human, could use a lot more educating in terms of the glory of our eternal lord, the glorious malleus! in accordance to your previous, description of our relationship. the farthest I can give is acquaintance, but I shall only call you a companion (AKA friend) if you are atleast educated about my interests! as the good companion you desire to be!

woo, alright. he really wrote all that...

oh, uh oh.. you just got another ask from him, maybe even longer..?

shrimp: what would that make silver then

rizzvolt: my brother in arms!

shrimp: but hey, actually I do want to know

rizzvolt: ah! finally! I knew you atleast have some common decency, and sense. for that I shall agree for your request in our friendship! these are the most accurate ones pertaining the great lord malleus' biography! [link] [link] [link]

rizzvolt: is that enough? I will send you more, but only if you finish these three. I will test you rigorously to confirm that you are indeed genuine in your interest!

why he has all that, you have no idea.. if only he displayed that much dedication for his studies...

shrimp: I don't wanna learn about malleus

shrimp: I want to learn about you

rizzley: how dare you! the lord's name should only be addressed with a: 'lord', 'the great', 'the

...

sebek stares at his screen, just in the process of finishing his... educating sentence, because even in text, malleus should only be treated with the highest form of respect!

have you no integrity?! he wonders.

only then does he focus on your response, does he make a rather... dubious sound of shock? sebek doesn't know why he breaks into a cold sweat as he runs the sentence through his mind a hundred times in the span of a minute.

what is this... some sort of human illness? or maybe love—

of course he'd never even consider such a thing! (just did bro)

shrimp: sooo.. since you sent me an ask, does that mean you actually like me?

shrimp: sebeeeeekk.. did you actually read?

with the speed of lightning (and the adrenaline maybe, what else could this frantic pounding of his chest explain besides that you are indeed, dangerous!) he opens the story on your media

'send me an ask if you like meeee :)'

sebek promptly falls over.

[crazycurly-77]

Lost in the Jungle - pt. 1

“NOOOOOO!!!”

Gibbs yelled through the whole office and smashed his fist on his desk. He thought he's going crazy. “I don't accept that.”

Jenny saw his desperation and tried to stay calm “Jethro, she's dead”, she stated. 

He spun around to face her and spat

“You have no proof of that and I won't accept her death until there is proof of it.”

“Jethro…” Jenny began once again. 

“No.” He answered violently. 

Jenny sighed, hung her head and left for her bureau while Gibbs walked up and down between the desks like a caged tiger. 

The whole team was shocked. Just now the director told them that your plane was shot down and that you were most likely dead because of the crash. 

They couldn't believe it. It seemed very unreal that you of all people should be dead.

Gibbs was completely beside himself and Tim was frozen in shock. These two seemed to take it the hardest. 

Standing up from his chair Tim said cautiously 

“Boss…” 

No reaction from Gibbs. So he tried again a little bit louder

“Boss…”

Gibbs came to a halt directly in front of him, so they were standing nearly nose to nose with each other. The tension in the room was tangible. Gibbs glared at him and growled

“What, McGee?!” 

“I…I don't accept and don't believe that Y/N is dead, too. There must be a way to find her and bring her home.”

Gibbs took a step back, pondered the heard words for a moment and then patted him on the shoulder nodding

“Good idea. Find out the route she was flying and where she was at the last contact. The Blackbox should still send a signal. Check that, too.”

“Okay, boss” Tim confirmed and got straight to work. 

Tony and Ziva came cautiously to Gibbs and asked “we want to help, too. There has to be a way to find her.”

Gibbs looked at them thankfully for their support. 

“You can help McGee.”

“Okay, boss.” Both of them answered and began to work on this case, too. 

The whole team looked in every case they found your name in. They followed all traces they discovered, but there was still no hint where you could be. 

With time everyone approached total desperation and devastation as Ducky came into the room, stopping in front of Gibbs’ desk. 

Gibbs didn't look up, but growled “Ducky?” 

Doctor Mallard was concerned too, so he absolutely understood his behavior. 

A member of the family was lost and that took its toll on everyone. 

“I've heard that Y/N is missing. Do you have any clue where she could be? I'm assuming you're looking for her” Ducky asked. 

“We are, but we don't have any clue. Not yet.” Gibbs answered briefly. 

“Did you look in South America?” 

Jerking his head up, Gibbs answered “Why South America?”

“Because before she left, I gave her a vaccination, which you need when you go there.”

“DiNozzo! Look for a flight from here to the south and for any missed planes,” Gibbs yelled across the desks. 

“Yes, Boss!” Tony answered and began immediately to work on this matter. 

An hour later Tony stated very excited “Boss! I think I found her plane. There's an aircraft missing whose flight plan matches her disappearance and the size of the plane also matches.”

“Where did you find it?” 

“In Ecuador” 

Tim tapped wildly on his keyboard and then said “Boss, there's a rescue signal!” 

Gibbs jumped up from his chair and walked over to him, leaning on his desk beside him “where?” 

“In the Amazon rainforest, here” Tim replied and pointed at the screen. 

“Good job.” Gibbs patted him on the shoulder and went back to his desk, where he took his phone and his weapon and were ready to go. 

“Where are you going?” Tony asked, irritated. 

Gibbs looked at him and answered “to Ecuador. Searching for Y/N.”

“We are coming with you” Ziva said determinedly and she and the others began to grab their gear. 

“You stay here” Gibbs ordered. 

“Why?” came from Tony. 

“Because I need you here for background information, if needed.”

Tony and Ziva looked at each other disappointed. 

Then Tim spoke up “I want to come with you, boss. No matter what.”

Gibbs laid his hand on Tim's shoulder, sighed and said softly “it's dangerous in the rainforest and when we will be back, we will definitely be suspended.”

Tim stood his ground “if that's the price I have to pay to bring her home, I will accept that gladly.”

Gibbs stared searchingly into his eyes and then nodded, saying “good. Then let's get our vaccination, drive to my house for the needed equipment and then head to the airport. In the meantime I need to make a call.”

He was in full marine mode and stormed in the direction of the morgue with Tim hot on his heels.

(To be continued...in Chapter 2)

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Here you will find the other chapters of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

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Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

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[linkemon]

Youtuber AU headcanons 1

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here.

AN (it's very hard to keep up with haiku syllables in English but I'm trying my best to modify my orginal poetry).

Xiao

✧ The boy mainly plays shooters and fighting games. He has a skill. He doesn't even have to try and kills go on and on and on...

✧ He is not interested in numbers on the channel and basically doesn't care about all the activity on the Internet. You're the one who talked him into it and you take care of the technical side. You edit videos or set things up for streams. You also moderated the comments before things got bigger.

✧ You occasionally walk by the screen but you've never shown your face. Fans often ask Xiao to tell who is next to him because they see him turn his head towards you. He always denies, saying that no one, because you don't want to be the envy of his fans and he has a lot of them.

✧ He gets mad when things don't work out but that's rare. He'd smashed the keyboard once or twice but only when he was playing for himself and nobody saw him.

✧ Die-hard PC guy. Doesn't accept consoles or smartphones.

✧ He wears sweatshirts all the time and they all look alike. Black and green are the only colours in his wardrobe.

✧ Disappears after streams very quickly. There are no goodbyes, he just turns off the camera and it's dark.

Kamisato Ayato

✧ King of ASMR. He often gets comments that he helps people fall asleep. His voice is so famous that he has given it to characters in several animations. Fans keep begging and sending him new stories to read on as podcasts.

✧ Ayato is rich but few people know it. Pretty good at hiding his private life from his fans.

✧ His sister appeared on Q&A episodes and absolutely won people's hearts. So much so that they asked her to take over his channel. And indeed, for a week he gave it into her care.

✧ You appear in some videos in the form of a hand. Sometimes you wave, other times you give him food. People are consumed by curiosity about what you look like. Kamisato always says with a laugh that he won't show you because someone else will steal you from him.

✧ Bobba tea is his brand. It reigns in many fanarts from viewers and he often drinks it on streams. Several companies wanted to work with him but he gently declined to maintain impartiality.

✧ Sometimes he plays strategy games but it's side content. Rather, he focuses on working with his voice as he is always busy. In addition to being a youtuber, he also has his own business and lacks time for other forms of work.

Kaeya Alberich

✧ Plays Genshin Impact and simps to most characters. He started shortly after the premiere and since then he has been completely absorbed.

✧ When you appeared on the screen, he already knew he was going to wish for you. All the fans watched with fascination how much he was excited about you. Unfortunately, he lost 50/50. That's why he did a weekly primogems gathering with the viewers to hit the guarantee. He got you on the last day of your banner and he was happy.

✧ Even if the current meta has eclipsed your character, he still has a three crowns on you and plays you on Abyss, just to show that he can do it.

✧ He wears a pirate headband for fun. Fans speculated that he might have a sick eye but he denied it.

✧ He fights with his brother all the time. Diluc also has a channel and you can see the rivalry on both sides. They pretend to be adults but in reality they have race to a million subscribers and still get at each other. Fortunately, they live separately and rarely see each other.

✧ Quite an attentive person. He doesn't mind being number one on social media hashtags. He has accounts on every social media he knows. He will take the opportunity to enjoy the triumph with the viewers, especially if he wins an achievement.

Xianling

✧ She runs a cooking channel. In addition, she travels a lot and records vlogs about cuisines from around the world.

✧ Her channel's mascot is Guoba. The bear has been standing at the back of the kitchen since the first episode and that's how it stayed. After some time, in the refreshed version, she ordered it as a stuffed animal for her store so that fans could also buy it.

✧ She regularly asks you to appear on the show with her. You make her fans happy with your relationship. They do compilations with your legendary flour wars.

✧ The girl creates unique compositions. She is known for using exotic ingredients in her dishes. She often combines them in an unusual way.

✧ She can eat a chili pepper without drinking antyhing after. Nobody knows how she does it. The video with this trick already has several million views.

✧ Xianling is planning on opening her own restaurant after flying around a few more countries. You promised to help find cooks and the number of CVs sent already scares you.

[prettyboykatsuki]

*tips cowboy hat over eyes while staring wistfully into the distance* things just aint the same around these parts no more...not since... *trails off meaningfully so you can tell i have woes too deep for one soul to burden on its own* ...since prettyboykatsuki disappeared from town. *you attempt to walk away but i chuckle ruefully with the intention of not letting you leave without hearing my lamenting* they were truly the life and soul of the dash. no one could capture a room's- the dash's - attention quite like their zany isagi thirst posts could. we'd shitpost and laugh and viciously express our desires for sexy 2d pixels until the sun rose the next day. i'm sure you've heard of their legendary bakugou fics? *i turn towards you expectantly and you shake your head at me, fully shaking at this point because you're convinced i'm an asylum escapee* no? ah, well. i'd offer to read one for you but...i could never capture the essence of the dialogue and erotic scenes by just reading it aloud. *you try to ask me where the nearest police station is but i reach into my assless chaps' pocket and pull out a budweiser and you're promptly silenced* truthfully, i was too busy reblogging their omega fics to ask what their favourite drink was so this'll have to do. i know this definitely won't be their favourite but it's the only thing i could grab from the gas station before they saw me and called the sheriff. *you wonder if the sheriff i'm referring to is the cardboard cutout of dwayne the rock johnson standing upright a few yards away that i've duct taped a png. of a cowboy hat to and wrote in marker 'sheriff' on the nipple area* prettyboykatsuki... *i sigh like i have the weight of the world on my feeble poncho covered shoulders and take a swig of the pissy acidic vaguely apple flavoured but shitty apple not the nice kind of apple beer* this one's for you. *i pour a modest stream of the atrocious beverage onto the ground, but the harsh wind intercepts it and drenches you in the liquid* hm. *i feel awkward and i can sense you know that i feel awkward so i stand up abruptly while attempting to maintain my mysterious façade. you ask me if prettyboykatsuki was buried (or something?) where i poured the beer because thats what people usually do at funerals when theyre saying their goodbyes but i simply titter at you like you've asked the most braindead question i've ever received* no, partner... *i turn away from you and you let out a sigh of relief so loud and gargantuan that i definitely hear it and feel a little hurt but show no signs of it because im built different* prettyboykatsuki's everywhere. *i trail off extra mysteriously and walk away from you in the middle of the road where i'm definitely going to get hit if i don't move but i keep walking and you don't want to get into another interaction with me so you just keep watching and i never really go out of sight because the road is one straight flat like so i'm just uncomfortably walking slow paced in plain sight so it doesnt feel dramatic and i'm getting sand in my eyes and keep having to speed up to avoid tumbleweeds so it looks awkward but we both don't say anything because at this point i'm 50 metres away so we accept the moment for what it is, and it's beautiful*

'you' - a random innocent bystander i'm subjecting my troubles to (troubles being u being gone from the dash for a couple of hours)

i typed this in 20 minutes and my shoulder is aching bcos i was going so fast holy shiiiii.

in my entire two years active on this blog, no single ask has ever made me laugh to the point of literal sobbing tears. no amount of keyboard smashing could do my real life reaction justice. like im laughing to the point of almost puking my dinner up. this is the funniest thing ive ever read in my life. im pinning this next time i go on hiatus. im fucking crying.

[bruh-anator3000]

Be still, my bleeding heart. My family fights and I am left alone with a pen in one hand, my heavy head in the other. Let me write comfort, until my fingers bleed harder than my heart. Til the scratching of pencil against paper, fingers tapping at the keyboard drown out their angered shouts.

My family's arguing, so let me write

...

You could feel the dried tracks of your tears. Still heard them fight despite it being the dead of night. It didn't get like this very often anymore, now that you and your sister were moved out. Holidays were fine, usually. But your father just had to mouth off, and you never knew your older sister to let it go without speaking her mind.

They were very similar in that way but god forbid you ever said that.

It was... more handled than when you were kids. No one raised their voice to full volume, your mother went to go speak with both separately once they had stopped. It just... it hurt.

They were your family. No matter how little your father was there for you as a kid, or how insecure your mother always was, they were family. And it hurt so much to see them hate each other.

How could two people you grew up with, shared the same blood with, loved forever, act so hateful towards one another?

In front of your boyfriend, no less.

Viktor laid dead asleep besides you in your old bed. He wanted to meet your family over break, no matter how you warned him to run for the hills. He was gentle and sweet with them, with you. Regarded your father with more respect than you thought he deserved. Helped your mother cook and set up dinner.

He almost beat your sister at Mario Kart. None of your previous partners had even gotten close. He was blue-shelled each time he got into first place, but he did not fall further than 3rd.

And then your father mouthed off. Your sister's dog got on his nerves, and he said something you've heard before, rarely but you heard it, as a kid.

'Work is better than this house!' He shouted. He was frustrated with the dog, you knew that. It happened all the time. He didn't mean it. Right?

But, damn you, your mind went back to the night before your big performance in second grade. The dog had gotten on his nerves then, but you didn't see that. All you knew was after you asked if he would show up, he said that his hell of work was better than home.

Took you back to the time you were playing Super Smash Bros with your sister in high-school, cheering on that you finally beat her. The dog had bit him. But you didn't see that. All you heard was work was better than home.

Your sister, catching onto your sullen expression and refusing to let him talk to her dog that way, fought back.

You grabbed Viktor out before it got too heated, before you became the 13 year old who wasn't sure if her sister was going to run away or not because of a bad fight with your father. Under the guise of getting dessert, you left the house.

Viktor, bless him, he could always see right through you. Stuck in your seat in the WalMart parking lot, he placed a hand on your knee and told you it was okay to cry. That all families fight, that it was allowed to hurt.

Every wall you set, every moat you dug to keep the tears from spilling onto him collapsed when he said you deserved better.

Gods, Viktor could always see right through you. Bullet proof glass was still glass. And he always saw right through it.

Even now, in the depths of night, as the fight you heard earlier, and every fight before that ran through your head, he could tell you were bothered. Dead asleep or not, his hand lazily reached out behind him to find yours.

Hushing him, telling him he should go back to sleep, you held his hand. His whole body followed, mindful of his leg, Viktor rolled to face you. Golden eyes glazed with sleepiness, he stared at you through heavy brows and dark lashes.

"It's still bothering you?" Accent husk with drowsiness, you would've expected it to sound more angry. Upset, disappointed you still held onto such a negative moment from hours before. That had always been a bad habit of yours, especially when it was about people you cared deeply for.

But no. No judgement, no vemon hid behind bared teeth. Viktor asked out of curiosity - better yet, out of concern. It wasn't much of a question, just confirmation because he was that good.

You still don't understand how you got so lucky.

"Just a bit." You sniffled, wiping your free hand under your nose. You couldn't hide much from him, but maybe he'd let you have your pride and allow you to hide your snot.

"More than a bit," He groaned, shifting to sit besides you against the headboard. You tried to shush him away, but ever the gentleman. "If you're still awake." He ran the hand that wasn't locked with yours through your hair. "Talk with me. I'm your shoulder to lean on,"

"Not when you're half asleep." You felt guilty. The man barely got enough sleep as it is. You should've left the room to wallow.

"Especially then." He murmured, whole body going with him as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "Tell me every thought in your head until they're gone. All of them."

"Do you think my stuffed animals hate me?" Your eyes caught on the old stuffie you had. Your parents kept it on a shelf, to remember you by.

Viktor knew you were stalling, trying to direct the conversation away from what was really bothering you. His skeptical side eye left you feeling exposed. An open book to him, no page left unread.

"M' sure they'll understand." He spoke slow, nose nuzzling your cheek. "Give them time, and explain how you feel, maybe the stuffed animal will even feel the same."

Damn him, even in the state between awake and rest, he knew how to weave life lessons into something unrelated.

"You don't think they hate me? That they don't..." You sighed. "They cant be arguing because of something I did, right?"

Viktor hummed in agreement, the vibrations warm and ticklish against your neck as he kissed your jaw. "I can't think of a reason why it would be your fault."

"I know that. It was the dog, my dad isn't fond of dogs." You grumbled, hand going to straighten out a few tangled knots in his soft chestnut hair. "I just... I don't know. Maybe this is just some deep rooted victim complex."

"If it is, then we can work on it later." He reasoned. "But now, it is hurting you. The pain matters, it exists no matter how it's come to be. Let's talk through it, then we can worry about why exactly, if you feel so inclined."

You sighed. "You're too smart. Even at 4 in the morning." Viktor huffed against your skin. "I just feel like, maybe I could do more? I don't know, they're adults but they're also my family. It hurts me, deeply, to see them so angry with each other. Why can't they understand that they do love each other?"

He nodded against your shoulder, arm falling to your seated hip. "This sounds deeper than an argument over the dog biting the leg of his chair."

You sighed, letting your head fall back and tugged your fingers through his hair fully. It was grounding. He was grounding. More home than the actual house you grew up in, the house you were staying in right now. His scent, so overwhelmingly him. His weight, of his chin on your shoulder, his hand around your torso, leg tangled with yours. His gentle eyes, half lidded as he peered up at you. Waiting, with no expectation, no judgment, just waiting.

It was always deeper than what sparked it. But you had no energy left to speak about it. "I'm... I'm too tired."

Viktor smiled. He tugged you down, harsh and sudden. You had no complaints as you landed on top of him with a whumpf. He only nudged your hip, helping you angle it so it wasn't pressing on his leg. Arms tight and warm around you. His fingers ran up and down your back, his sentences smoothing into long words.

This was home. You loved your older sister. Loved your father and your mother, for everything they have done for you. But nothing was as filling than the love you held for Viktor.

It wasn't an expected love, it was one you grew into. One you chose to love. One that stole your heart but their hands were gentle as they held it. Theif or not, Viktor held your heart with care. Treated it like it was the most special heart in the world. Treated you like the most precious person to ever exist.

He held you close, his muffled heart and slowed breathing lulled you to your own sleep. Nipping at your toes, but Viktor did not let them bite. No, he gently cradled you into sleep, it wasn't left dragging you under or smothering you. No, Viktor held you, laying you in the river of dreams, gentle and careful and smiling with you.

He was all you needed. He was home.

[iguessitsjustme]

I Saw You in My Dream Ep 8 Thoughts

Oh liveblogging how I’ve missed you (it has only been like…3 days since I liveblogged anything. I have completely finished liveblogging 2 shows and have only started posting one of them so for anyone (me) who likes my liveblogs, there’s more coming. Anyway l’ve had a crazy day so let’s get into this crazy show (affectionate). Under the cut:

Putting this particular thing under the cut but I’ve had an absolutely wild day and honestly, some people need to take a step back and touch some grass is all I’m gonna say. Wait I’ll say one more thing: not everything in the world is about you. Please I’m begging. Take a break and you’ll feel better. Okay now I’m done.

Moving on to actually watching the show. I’ve been so excited to watch this since last week. I kind of wish I waited to binge the whole thing but that is not what I chose to do alas.

I LOVE when characters lay down this specific boundary. Will they touch in the future? Absolutely. But also get permission first. (said the person who HATES being touched with few exceptions)

I love this show so much.

I do like that Waan apologized. Now Yo needs to apologize because he is the one that actually hurt Ai.

Did y’all hear the scream I just let out?

Applesauce my beloved

Now they’re nakey in bed together? This has got to be a dream right? Cause we skipped a whole lot of steps between “you need my permission to touch me” to them cuddling shirtless in bed.

Oh yep. Dream. I’m so smart <-is dumb but cute about it.

Noisy sidewalk people go AWAY.

I love Ing. So much.

Sometimes the first step to an apology is an olive branch. Which is what Yo offered. I’m hoping he can make amends.

Like true amends.

Theeeere it is. The apology. Good job.

One of the reasons I love Yo so much is because everything he does is because he genuinely wants his friends to be happy. As misguided as he is, his heart has always been in the right place. Now he just needs to get his head out of his ass and he’ll be all set.

Love Yu taking care of his sleeping family.

Is Ai cutting already cut carrots? Those bitches are already diced. Am I missing something?

This brother montage of trying to figure out how to express their feelings is unbearably cute.

Okay the swings are a sweet gesture and all but HOW THE FUCK. Did Yu steal those swings from the playground? Did he build them in 2 minutes flat? Did he use a genie wish what’s going on?

Yo I swear to god stop rapping. If I can even call this rapping. What IS THIS?

Yu put that guitar down RIGHT NOW. I SWEAR TO GOD.

Fast forward is my friend.

Oh next episode is gonna be a wild ride my friends. And I cannot wait. See y’all in a week when I basically just keyboard smash the entire time I guess.

[holdmeclosertinytaron]

RHW: Chapter Six

Story Page / Playlist / Wattpad / AO3

A/N: Chapter six!! @brayndilyn and I spent so long working on this chapter, and this was the chapter that made me want to go to NYC even more than I already did! I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: Explicit language, angst, talks of neglectful parents, narcissistic behaviours

February 20th, 2022

Boston was amazing. Liliana didn’t get to see as much of it as she would have liked but she also had the best time at her first ever signing. As they drove down the street to Barnes and Noble at Boston University, Liliana saw the line of people waiting to get in. There must have been almost a hundred people there, if not more, and she’d been so overwhelmed that she got teary. 

Evelyn quickly wiped the tears away and reminded her that this was for her to enjoy and that tears would ruin photos and she didn’t want that. They’d laughed together then and Liliana took her phone out of her bag to video the line, sending it to Taron with a wtf, this is intense. They’re here for me! Asfasfas x. He’d texted back pretty quickly with a keyboard smash of his own.

He made her promise to remember him when she was a super famous author and she’d laughed at him, telling him to bugger off and that she would text him when she was in the hotel that night. 

Having Taron only a text away, and only an hour behind now that she was in the States rather than the six hours when she was at home, had eased so much of her anxiety when it came to the US tour. She knew that he would give her whatever support she needed without question. Whether that was sweet support where he told her how amazing she was, or the tough love kind of support where he told her to stop being a wimp and get on with it because this is what she’d worked hard for and these people where there to prove to her that she is worth so much more than she thought about herself.  

Liliana’s feelings for Taron had grown exponentially since she got back from Aberystwyth. There hadn’t been a single day since they got back where they hadn’t texted one another constantly, and Liliana still smiled like a giddy school girl whenever his name popped up on her screen. His texts were the notifications she prioritised and for the first time in years she’d started to keep her phone on loud rather than silent. She didn’t want to miss one of his texts. 

Taron was the first person she thought of when she woke up in the morning and he was the last thing on her mind before she fell asleep at night. He consumed her every thought. The depths of her feelings was unlike anything she’d known before and they scared her because she was very aware of the fact that it wouldn’t go beyond a friendship with him. She tried to tell herself that she was content having Taron back in her life, hoping that if she told herself enough she would start to believe it. 

After Boston, they headed to New York City where she spent the first day in another book signing. The queue of people waiting to get in went around the corner and she was so confused as to how so many people knew who she was and why they wanted to meet her. 

Evelyn talked her down from a panic attack and reminded her that she did the whole thing three times in Boston so she could do it again. They got out of the car and Liliana waved to people in line before heading inside. 

She racked her brain to try and remember what had been said in the meetings leading up to leaving where she’d been told how to act and what not to say and do. Evelyn told her to relax in those meetings so she hadn’t really paid much attention which hadn’t proven to be a problem until now. 

‘Ev,’ she whispered into her ear as they got to the area they would be talking, ‘I’m scared. This feels different to Boston. It’s a whole new crowd. I don’t know what I’m doing.’ 

Evelyn turned to her with soft eyes. ‘Liliana, you’re fine. You’re going to read the first chapter of the book after you say hello and introduce yourself. Then, you invite people to ask questions but you only take three. If anybody asks you about your family and growing up, you smile and tell them that you’re thankful for all of the lessons you learnt because without those, you wouldn’t be here right now. If someone asks you anything about a romantic relationship, you tell them whatever you want. Don’t go overboard though. If someone asks about the second book, you tell them that you can’t divulge such information at this time but as soon as you can it will be on your social media and the website for them to look at.’ 

‘And if they ask anything else?’ 

‘Then you use that GCSE Drama to good use and make something up on the spot. You’re in love with an actor, surely you know some ways to pretend.’ 

‘Ev!’ Liliana cried, eyes wide and mouth agape. ‘You did not just say that to me.’ 

‘It’s the truth.’ 

‘Oh honey, you’re so in love with him it’s painful,’ Jacob piped up when he was done with the conversation with the manager of the store. ‘Even I can tell you’re in love with him.’ 

Liliana fake cried at them. ‘I really should have brought other people with me. You’re useless. Let’s get this over with.’ 

‘Oh wow, babe, you can have a little more enthusiasm than that.’ 

Liliana glared at Evelyn and took her jacket off, throwing it at Jacob who laughed at her and guided her to where she needed to be. 

‘Remember, you’re amazing. You’re strong. You’re a badass bitch with a book and two of the best friends in the entire world.’

‘I have the meanest friends in the entire world,’ Liliana called back with a cackle. She could do this. She could read the first chapter of her book to a group of people she had never met and then she could sign books and take photos with people. ‘I’m ready. Let’s do this.’ 

‘I’m sorry miss,’ the manager said sheepishly, ‘but the doors don’t open until ten. We have an hour until that happens.’ 

All three of them burst into fits of laughter. They weren’t usually known for their punctuality as a group. Liliana on her own was the most punctual person, but as soon as she was around Evelyn and Jacob she was useless. They all huddled together at a table in the corner and discussed Boston and what they planned to do on their day off in New York. Evelyn had a glint in her eye when she listened to Liliana list off all the things she wanted to do but she wouldn’t give in whenever she was asked about it. 

That evening, after hitting two different bookstores and meeting more people than she thought possible, all of whom praised the book and gushed about how much it had helped them, Liliana, Evelyn and Jacob headed for dinner with the CEO of Condé Nast, Robert Saurberg Jr. 

Liliana had the fanciest meal of her life at the Loeb Boathouse restaurant in Central Park and she wished that it wasn’t such an important dinner so that she could send photos to Taron who had the day off from filming. 

During the dinner, Robert asked if she would be up for interviews with different magazines under his umbrella where she would give exclusive access to her life. She asked if she could think about it. In the whole process of writing her book and publishing it, she never intended to become famous, and the idea made her anxious. 

After that, dinner went on swiftly and they all had a great evening drinking and getting to know Robert, who gave them exclusive recommendations on places they should eat in the other cities they would be heading to after New York. 

***

Liliana was reading in bed when her phone buzzed next to her. It was their last day in New York so she got to spend it doing whatever she pleased, starting with a lazy morning reading in bed before she got up and headed out for the day. 

She let herself get to the end of the page before putting her bookmark in and closing the book. 

Welcome to New York, it’s been waiting for you. Go to Washington Square Park at 11:30. There is a surprise waiting for you! T x 

Liliana read the text five times. The first time she laughed because he’d used Taylor Swift lyrics that fit exactly how she’d felt about New York. The second time, she wondered what could possibly be at Washington Square Park waiting for her. The third time she wanted to make sure that it was actually Taron who had sent the message. The fourth time, she noted that it said to be there for half eleven and it was already ten. The fifth time, she wondered if Taron was in New York. 

He couldn’t be. He had been called to stay in New Orleans for an extra few days to reshoot a couple of scenes. She thought that maybe he had planned something for her to do which started at the park so she climbed out of bed and trudged to the bathroom to shower. 

While she was putting her hair up into a simple ponytail to keep it out of her face during the day, Liliana decided that she would get an Uber to the park to make her life a little easier. The price tag pained her a little but everything she did on the trip was being put on the company card so it wasn’t coming directly from her bank. 

***

Liliana stopped in her tracks when she got to the archway at Washington Square Park. With arms held open ready for her to step into, and a smile bright enough to outshine Times Square, Taron waited for her. Liliana took a deep breath and ran to him. She almost knocked him down with the force of her hug but he managed to stay upright, holding her tight. 

They hadn’t seen one another in almost a month but being together made it seem as though they hadn’t been apart at all. 

‘Welcome to New York, little bird,’ he chuckled against her hair as he swayed her softly. ‘How’s this for a surprise?’ 

‘Perfect. How come you didn’t tell me you were here?’ Liliana wouldn’t let him go. She rested her head against his chest and relished in being in his arms again. He was firm against her front and she wondered if he’d worked out some while being away. ‘I’m in New York, Taron. Like actually in New York. America!’ 

A group of people walking past turned to smile at them before continuing on their walk. Taron tipped his head at them in a polite gesture before prying Liliana out of his arms so that he could look at her. His hands rested on her shoulders and he pushed her back ever so slightly to gain eye contact. 

‘I am so proud of you, Lil, you have no idea.’ She hugged him again and he laughed happily. ‘Mam says she’s proud too and that you need to text her ASAP to tell her about the trip or she’ll have you.’

***

New York was beautiful that day, unseasonably warm with blue skies and the sun beaming down gentle rays. The cherry blossoms had begun to wake from their winter slumber and blessed the city with pink trees of heaven, petals floating down and dancing on the ground around their feet. 

Liliana and Taron had walked around a little bit before they found a seat near the fountain to sit for a little while and catch up properly. They sat so close together that their thighs would have melded together had they been any closer. Liliana took time to take in her surroundings when the conversation fell to a natural lull. 

The park was full of NYU students who were back in school after winter break, coffees in hand to try and keep them awake for their classes. Everywhere Liliana looked, the park buzzed with students, tourists, street performers and so many dogs she thought she might die. Whenever they came across a dog, she asked to pet it, kneeling down and getting excited. 

As she admired a group of friends laughing together close to the fountain, taking photos of each other and having what seemed to be a fun day, somebody jumped on the piano close to the archway and started to play an instrumental version of a song Liliana would know anywhere. 

Sign of the Times played and she closed her eyes to let the music wash over her. It was her favourite song, by her favourite artist, and she had to take a deep breath to control the quiver of emotion that bubbled in her throat. 

Taron watched her tilt her head back to the sky and listen to the music, her lips turning into a soft smile. He grabbed her hand and looked at her in excitement when she looked at him, eyebrows furrowed until she realised what he was about to do. 

He pulled her closer to the piano and twisted her into his body so that he could wrap his arm around her waist. They danced together to the music and Liliana smiled at him, beginning to sing along with the song. 

‘Just stop your crying, have the time of your life,’ she sang quietly. Taron was in love with her voice and decided not to join in the singing just so he could enjoy it a little longer. ‘Breaking through the atmosphere, and things are pretty good from here, remember everything will be alright.’ 

‘Are you?’ Taron asked when she stopped singing to the music. 

‘Am I what?’ 

‘Having the time of your life?’ 

Liliana nodded. There were tears in her eyes but she smiled widely at him. ‘You have no idea. I still can’t believe that you’re here.’ 

‘I missed you and needed to see you,’ he admitted. 

He continued to waltz her around happily and she threw her head back to bark a laugh when he almost stumbled over. He pouted at her but then joined in her laugh. They didn’t care that they were in public and were being watched by hundreds of other people. They were two people, enjoying one another’s presence and being in the moment. 

When the song ended and they stopped dancing, everyone around them erupted into cheers and applause and they both blushed profusely. Taron grabbed Liliana’s hand and looked at her, silently asking if she trusted him. She nodded before they took off running out of the park, laughing loudly. 

It reminded Liliana of running through the rain back in Aberystwyth the year she left for university. They’d been on top of Constitution Hill cloud watching when the rain started. They had to run down the hill and onto the seafront to find shelter. They were soaked by the time they got there. 

‘I want to show you some of my favourite places,’ Taron said when they were a block away from the park. ‘If you’re up for it? I know you wanted to do touristy things but-’ 

‘I want to see New York through your eyes,’ she smiled at him. ‘Tourist attractions be damned. Show me New York, T.’ 

The rest of the morning was spent wandering around the West Village where they passed countless rows of brownstones. Liliana thought they were some of the most beautiful houses she’d ever seen and kept stopping in front of them to just admire them. She couldn’t help but peek into the windows of them and wonder what the person living there was like. What they did for work, how much they loved living in New York, how often they had guests over for dinner parties on Friday evenings. 

She loved London and she loved her flat but she wished she had even a sliver of green space that she could use to create a garden like the occupants of the brownstones had. Hell, she’d take a balcony she could put planters on. If it weren’t for Matilda she could have easily packed up all of her belongings and moved into one of the many brownstones she’d passed that day. 

Taron obliged every time she wanted to admire one, stepping back and watching as she took it all in. He couldn’t stop smiling at her. Though he wished he could read her mind so he knew what she was thinking as she stood with her arms by her sides and her head tilted up to look at the houses. 

‘You know,’ Taron started as they headed to Bleecker Street, where his favourite record shop was, ‘I love the anonymity that this part of the city affords me. Granted, I have quite a bit wherever I go but here I feel like I don’t have to put on appearances just in case. I can do whatever I want and be me and that’s enough, you know?’ 

Liliana wrapped her arms around his bicep, leaning on him as they walked. ‘I understand. I can tell you don’t have a mask on. It’s like when we got to Aber at Christmas, you just took this deep breath in the car and there was a different version of you in front of me. I like this version of you. I like all versions of you but this one is my favourite.’ 

Taron took a deep breath and smiled at her, whisking her into the record shop. They spent almost an hour rummaging through bins of vinyls. When they were at opposite ends of the shop, they would call to the other to show them music from when they were little, and when they were next to one another, they would slide whatever they’d found in front of the other person with a cheeky grin. 

In the end, Liliana bought five records, one each for Evelyn and Jacob and three for herself. Taron bought himself and his mum the same record of music they’d listened to in the car when he was younger and he bought the Rocketman soundtrack for Liliana as a joke. She loved it and vowed to play it all the time. 

They had worked up an appetite shopping for records so they headed to Magnolia Bakery where he asked her once more if she trusted him. 

‘You need to stop asking me that,’ she laughed. ‘I trust you wholeheartedly. And I hereby respond to every future time you ask if I trust you that unless I state otherwise, I trust you with everything.’ 

Taron headed inside to buy a cupcake while Liliana waited outside. She stood on the sidewalk and saw the bookstore across the road so she crossed over to look in the windows. There, on the shelf staring back at her next to a bunch of tote bags and other books that she’d read before, was her book. 

Emotion rushed over her as she truly realised what was happening. She was in New York City and was going to other cities across the States, with her best friends from work celebrating her book. 

And she was with Taron. The book was the reason she was with Taron. She’d invited him to the book launch but had no idea if he would actually show up. Part of her had hoped he wouldn’t go. She’d poured everything into the book but was unsure how she would handle seeing him again and reliving the entire thing. 

But he had shown up and it turned out that inviting him had been the best decision she could have ever made. 

‘I wondered where you’d gotten to,’ he said when he stood next to her. He saw the book and looked in her eyes through the reflection of the glass. ‘I saw it in New Orleans too and I realised that the book-’

‘If it weren’t for the book, we wouldn’t be here right now. We probably wouldn’t have gotten back in touch,’ Liliana finished for him, turning to face him with a sad smile. ‘I’m so glad you came to the book launch.’ 

‘I’m so glad you invited me.’ He handed over a tub. ‘It’s banana pudding, don’t look at it like it’s some weird alien thing.’ 

‘And banana pudding is…what, exactly?’ She took the tub from Taron and looked at it sceptically. 

‘It’s bananas, a firm custard and cake pieces. I got a large because you have to really indulge in this stuff. If you can’t finish it, I got an extra spoon.’ 

'We can share it,’ she said, offering him the tub. ‘I don’t mind.’ 

‘I promise, the second you have some you will no longer want to share it.’ 

Liliana took her first bite. Her eyes instantly closed as she moaned happily around the mouthful. ‘Okay so this is what heaven is like. Good to know.’ 

Taron laughed at her before guiding her down the street so they could head towards Greenwich Village and the Lower East Side. They come across a small street fair on Houston Street and stop to admire the New York themed artwork. 

Liliana had made light work of the banana pudding but left just under half of it, which Taron finished for her. He’d asked if she was sure and she told him that if she ate anymore then she would pop and she wanted to enjoy the rest of their day. He laughed but obliged, eating the rest of the pudding with the same spoon Liliana had used. 

After Liliana purchased a small piece of artwork that she wanted to put up in her living room to remember the trip, they found themselves at a cocktail bar to ‘rest their feet’ as Taron had suggested. 

Liliana was so grateful that Taron was there and had shown her all of his favourite parts of New York, or at least as many as he was able to in their one day there. He’d promised that one day they would go back and spend a few days exploring the city fully and Liliana couldn’t wait. At the start of the day she’d planned to go to all of the touristy areas but somehow going everywhere but to those places made her feel like she’d really experienced New York City. She beamed over the perfect day she’d experienced over a Manhattan, a joke because of where they were. Though she didn’t enjoy the drink as much as she thought she would. Taron had laughed at her initial reaction, her face scrunched up tightly. 

‘I thought it was going to be sweeter,’ she grimaced, taking another sip because she refused to leave it after what it cost. 

They laughed again at some of the things they’d done and the characters that they’d seen during the day, like the guy with a cat on his head. Liliana had had the best day and she had loved every single minute of it and of getting to spend time with Taron. 

Three drinks later, the sun had started to set and the winter chill set back in. Liliana wrapped her arms around herself as they continued walking through the city, soaking up every possible minute they had together. 

‘What do you think about heading back to my hotel to relax for a bit? We could get pizza and watch something on the TV? American Netflix is so much better than ours.’ 

Liliana nodded enthusiastically. ‘That sounds really good. I’m freezing and want to relax before tomorrow’s travel day.’ 

Taron pulled his phone out of his pocket and ordered them an Uber to get back. ‘You have two options for food, actually. We can get pizza, or we can order room service. Either way, we’ll nip to the liquor store near the hotel and get something to drink. Or we could get a drink from the bar, actually.’ 

‘As much as room service is always a good idea because…good food, I’ve had it so much these past few days. Plus, I’ve come all the way to New York and I haven’t had a single slice of pizza which is a crime, I believe. So I vote for pizza. And we can get drinks at the bar. It’s too cold,’ she laughed. 

‘Pizza it is. Come on, the Uber will be here in a minute. I’ll order pizza to the hotel. There’s this place called Joe’s and they do the best pizza! What would you like on it?’ 

Liliana thought for a minute, going over the options in her head. ‘I’ll just have a regular old Pepperoni, please.’ 

***

The Uber pulled up outside Taron’s hotel and Liliana stepped out and stared at him in amazement.

‘This is your hotel?’ She asked, her arms once again wrapped around her middle. Taron nodded. ‘My room is on the 16th floor. Room 1653.’ 

‘No way!’ Taron chuckled. Liliana could hear the fake shock and she stared at him, blinking three times in quick succession. 

‘You knew?’ 

‘I may or may not have had this whole thing planned out with Evelyn for a week or so,’ he admitted. ‘I swore her to secrecy but I knew I wanted to surprise you today and what better way to end the night by both being in the same hotel?’ 

‘So this is why she was acting so sheepish the other day at the book signing. I’m gonna kill her.’ 

Taron laughed. ‘Don’t kill her. It was all my idea, promise. Come on, let’s go get a drink.’ 

Their pizza was waiting for them at reception when they got there and Taron took it from the counter happily before he headed to the lift to get to his room. He decided that they would order drinks via room service so that they could eat sooner. 

Liliana’s stomach grumbled loudly in the lift and Taron lifted the pizza box to her nose, circling it in front of her, in response. She eyed him grumpily and put her hand just under the waistband of her jeans to pull them away from her skin. 

‘I am so uncomfortable in these clothes,’ she complained. ‘I might nip to my room and get changed before food, if that’s okay?’ 

‘No need,’ Taron smiled. ‘I’ve got a hoodie and bottoms you can borrow.’ 

Liliana’s heart fluttered at his offer. The last time she’d borrowed his clothes had been at Christmas when she stayed at his house for the night. 

Stealing clothes from a man was a very intimate thing to her. Even when she’d had casual flings with someone, she’d never borrowed their clothes until she knew that they meant something to her. They never meant anything to her. Taron meant everything to her. 

‘Thank you, that sounds nice.’ 

They sat together on Taron’s bed, their legs crossed and a box of pizza in front of them. Taron had bought the large pizza so that they could share, but it was big enough that Tina, Rosie, Marie and Matilda could have had some and they would all have been satisfied. 

Taron had thrown Liliana a black hoodie and a pair of joggers when they got to the room and she put them on happily in the bathroom. His hoodie felt like a giant hug and it smelled like him. She kept lifting the neckline up to inhale his scent and he’d caught her a couple of times but never mentioned it to her. 

There was something about the intimacy of being in his bed, in his clothes, with his knees touching hers that made her feel vulnerable. More vulnerable than she’d been in a long time. 

Between touring different time zones and talking about her childhood more than she ever had, as well as being away from her safe space at home, Liliana’s vulnerability exploded and she couldn’t help the tears that fell. 

Taron looked at her with sad eyes and immediately moved the pizza to the bedside table so he could pull her into his arms. The position was awkward but Liliana didn’t care. She needed the comfort that Taron was giving her. 

‘Do you want to talk?’ Taron whispered into her hair softly. ‘If you do, remember everything will be alright.’ 

Liliana pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes even though she still cried. She lifted the hem of the hoodie up to her ribs. The tattoo that she’d gotten five years prior when she was writing the book for the first time and thinking back to Taron being in her life sat proudly. 

Taron refrained from reaching forward to run his fingers over it. Instead he looked at the tattoo again and then up to Liliana who slowly pulled the hoodie down and used the sleeves to make paws over her hands. She was starting to withdraw slightly. 

‘That’s a lyric, right? A Harry Styles one? From that song we danced to earlier.’ 

‘It is,’ she sniffled and wet her lips. ‘But it’s also what you used to tell me when we were teenagers and I was worried about leaving for university. You always told me that everything would be alright. So as much as it’s a tattoo to represent a song that means more to me than I could ever put into words, it’s also a tattoo to represent a friendship I missed more than anything, and a person who I loved.’ 

Her admission was too much for her and the floodgates opened once more. She sobbed aggressively on the bed with her head in her hands and Taron held her in his arms again to try and comfort her. But it didn’t work. 

The one thing that he’d been able to do so easily for so long was impossible that evening. He wanted to text his mum and ask her what to do but he needed to have his full attention on Liliana who was struggling to breathe. 

He held her top half while manoeuvring them so that they were laid down on the bed, Liliana’s body rested in the crook of Taron’s body and his arms wrapped tightly around her. He rocked her slightly and hoped that the new position would allow for her to breathe a little easier. 

Liliana still cried but she was calmer thanks to being able to breathe better. She looked up at Taron through wet eyelashes but closed her eyes again when Taron wiped under her eye. He looked at her with concern and she felt awful for putting this on him. 

‘Talk to me?’ He asked her tentatively, tucking a piece of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear so that she didn’t eat it. ‘If you want to.’ 

‘I want to tell you everything,’ she told him before closing her eyes to try to stop herself from crying more. ‘But I’m scared.’ 

‘Scared of what?’

‘Scared that you’ll think differently of me. That you won’t want to know me when you finally know the truth. I’m scared that I’m going to lose you again.’ 

‘Lil,’ he whispered, tears starting to well in his eyes. ‘I promise you won’t lose me again. I’m never going anywhere.’ 

Liliana took a deep breath and opened up completely. She bared her soul to Taron and told him about the day she was pulled out of school and found out about her dad cheating on her mum and how she’d spent weeks crying herself to sleep because for eleven years she’d woken up and fallen asleep in the same house as both of her parents who told one another that they loved each other and then it was all pulled out from under her. 

She admitted that she hadn’t seen her dad since she was twelve and that he hadn’t once tried to reach out to her in all that time. The last time she’d seen him was when her mum told him that she hoped he wrapped his car around a tree and died. 

Taron gasped when he heard that and held her close but stayed quiet. It was the most she’d ever told him and he wanted to listen to her, to let her talk and tell him everything that she wanted to. 

Liliana told him about the way her mum had truly treated her throughout her teenage years, and how she’d spent more time doing things that her mum should have been doing, like cooking and cleaning and doing the shopping, than anything else. She missed out on her teenage years and she hated that she’d never get them back. She was twenty at fourteen. 

When she explained that there’d been a time in her teens when she had thoughts that she didn’t ever want to think about again, just so that she could escape the constant pain she was in, Taron cried with her. He held her even tighter and told her that he was there and she cried harder. 

‘I’m sorry you went through all of that. I didn’t know.’ 

‘I didn’t say anything,’ Liliana said, finally looking at Taron. Both of them had red eyes and snotty noses and she leaned back into his chest and held him close, inhaling his scent. ‘I didn’t want anybody to know what was really going on. That’s why I applied to Edinburgh. I wanted to be as far away as I could get so that I could start somewhere new without the cloud of Eliza and my childhood hanging over my head. I never got to be a teenager properly. I never got to go on holiday or dance in the rain or go to house parties and get drunk with all of my friends or go to concerts because I was too busy parenting myself.’ 

‘Lil.’ 

‘It’s fine. I got used to it pretty quickly. And I thought that maybe once I left for uni, things would change. I was naive enough to think that space would improve my relationship with my mum but it didn’t. It made it worse. Every time I go back to Aber to see Matilda I sit and wait for the comments from mum. She doesn’t love me. She pretends she does to other people but she doesn’t.’ 

‘Oh Lil, I’m so sorry.’ 

Liliana sniffled and started to cry fully again. She hadn’t ever told anybody how her mum felt about her before and it felt both freeing and terrible to tell somebody. ‘She told me herself, on Christmas morning. I went to the kitchen for a drink and she came in after me. I thought she wanted a drink herself but she just turned bitter for no reason. She told me that she was glad I moved away because it meant she didn’t have to pretend to love me anymore. I spent the rest of the day upstairs on my own.’ 

So that was why she’d been crying on Christmas day. Taron couldn’t do anything but hold her even tighter. His heart had shattered into billions of pieces and he wanted to use the pieces of his heart to patch up Liliana’s. 

‘Liliana, look at me,’ he said after a few minutes of letting her cry. He tilted her chin up with his thumb and let his heart break even more when he saw just how much the sparkle in her eyes had died. ‘Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me all of this. I wish I’d have known sooner, mum and me would have helped or-’ 

‘You couldn’t have helped,’ Liliana replied, licking her lips to wet them again. ‘Nobody could have helped. It happened, I grew up, I wrote a book and I only go back home when I really have to. And that’s only to see Matilda. And now it’ll be to see your mum too. I missed her.’ 

Taron looked at her for a moment and took a deep breath. Liliana could feel his chest move against hers as he breathed. 

‘Lil, there’s something I need to tell you,’ he whispered after a few seconds, pushing the strand of hair behind her ear again after it had fallen. ‘On Christmas Eve when I spent time with you and Matilda, I realised…that you’ve never been just a friend to me.’ 

‘Taron…’ Liliana warned. ‘Please.’ 

‘There’s always been something there but I never let myself act on it. I think I started to realise when you were getting ready to leave for uni but I didn’t want to hold you back. I knew you needed to leave, even if I didn’t know just how much you needed to leave until right now, and me telling you how I felt would have held you back. You just bared your entire soul to me and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this kind of sorrow before. You deserve so much more than what you’ve had. 

‘You deserve a family who will always show you love, and who will mean it. I want to be that family for you. I’ve always wanted to be that family.’ 

Taron leaned closer to Liliana until their noses touched. She could feel his breath on her lips and she froze, gulping hard. It’s all she’d ever wanted but it was too much all at once. She leaned back as Taron leaned in, her head screaming at her to get out of the bed, the room, the hotel, the city. She wanted to be anywhere but there. 

Taron watched as she scurried off the bed, making some excuse about needing to be up early to head to Philly. She grabbed her clothes from the chair in the corner and her bag and left the room, letting the door slam loudly behind her. 

Her heart was beating so fast. She ran to the lift and pressed the button over and over until it dinged and the doors opened. It wasn’t until the doors closed behind her that she realised Taron hadn’t followed her like she thought he might. 

Taron lay on his bed and rested his elbow over his eyes. He was pissed at himself for even thinking that it was a good time to tell Liliana how he felt. She had just opened herself up to him fully and in a way he’d wished she would for years. Her vulnerability was clear and he’d held her for almost an hour while she told him why she was the way she was. She had explicitly told him that she’d struggled to open up to anyone and he still took advantage of her vulnerability to tell her that he had feelings for him. 

But he was also confused. He thought he’d read her right. She told him that she’d loved him, and the way she said it very strongly implied that she was still in love with him. He thought they’d made progress until she shut herself down again like she had so many times before. All he wanted was to know why, and to have her know that he was there for her.

He decided that he needed to step back and respect Liliana’s very clear boundaries. There must have been a reason she was so reserved. Everything she told him had affected her badly so maybe she needed time to realise that he was there for her. 

Even though he was mad at himself for doing what he did, he couldn’t bear the thought of Liliana thinking he was mad at her for leaving him. He still wanted to be there for her, despite not knowing when he would see her next. He texted Evelyn asking for their return information to London but didn’t answer any of her questions that followed. 

Liliana’s room was pitch black when she got back but she couldn’t bring herself to switch on the light. She was too sad and too weak to do anything but drop her bag on the floor near the door and stumble her way to the bed. The bed was made from housekeeping earlier in the day but she didn’t attempt to pull the covers open to climb into them. She curled up on top of them and pulled the neckline of Taron’s hoodie closer to her face where she could inhale his scent. 

Her heart broke into millions of pieces as she lay in the dark, her mind replaying what had happened in Taron’s bedroom. She curled herself up more and let the tears fall. The thought of having to continue the book tour made her want to cry more. She’d always been good at putting on a fake smile, throwing her hair up and pretending like everything was fine but she didn’t know how she would manage that when she hurt the way she hurt. 

***

February 21st, 2022 

The next morning, Liliana woke up with the worst headache she’d had in a long time. She’d only had an hour and a bit of sleep and was feeling it. 

She fished through her bag for the Tylenol she’d bought in Boston and took two with the lukewarm water on the bedside table from the day before. The room was still dark despite the curtains being open and she checked the time on her phone. 

She could have stayed asleep for at least another hour but she didn’t want to have the same dream she’d had all night. Taron had confessed that he had feelings for her and she’d left him in his room alone. It played on repeat all night until she woke up with tears in her eyes. 

What had started out as the best day she’d ever had, exploring a dream city with Taron and feeling so free, turned out to be a nightmare. She hadn’t expected to tell him about the years leading up to her leaving for university but it happened and she wished that she could take it all back. 

Above all, she wished that she could take back leaving his room without explanation. She wished she’d have pulled away when he leaned in to kiss her, something she’d wanted him to do for so long, to tell him that he was moving too fast and she couldn’t change gears so quickly. Not after revealing her deepest, darkest thoughts to him. 

She should have told him that it wasn’t that she didn’t feel the same way about him and that she was happy to finally know that he was on the same page, but she just needed him to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay again. That she wasn’t broken after everything she’d been through. 

There was so much that she should have done. What she could have done. Instead she had run back to her room like a coward and wouldn’t be able to see him until they were both back in London. The only way she could have apologised to him before being back home was to go to his room before she left and do it. But she refused to wake him at four thirty in the morning. The chances were that he wouldn’t want to see her again anyway so it was for the best that she didn’t.

Evelyn eyed her suspiciously as she climbed into the car but she ignored her best friend. She sat in her seat, fastened her seatbelt and put her earphones in to listen to music. It was only a little under two hours to their next destination but it seemed to take forever. 

Liliana had to stop herself from crying multiple times during the drive and struggled to keep her composure. The hoodie she’d borrowed from Taron was still wrapped around her top half and she curled into it, inhaling Taron’s scent and wishing she could change everything that happened the night before. 

During the drive she started to text Taron, typing out an entire paragraph before deciding that it didn’t sound right so deleting it. She repeated it multiple times until she gave up altogether. There was no way that he would want to talk to her after everything that happened. He wouldn’t want her anymore. 

Liliana somehow managed to get through the few days in Philadelphia without breaking down into tears every time she talked about the book. Evelyn and Jacob sensed that something had happened, especially with how sad she’d been and how Taron asked for their return info, but Liliana wouldn’t tell them anything. 

When they were headed to LA and Seattle, Liliana realised that she couldn’t give Taron nothing so she texted him to apologise for running out. She told him that she’d get his clothes back to him when she was back in London and that she hoped the last bit of filming went okay. The text was short compared to how she normally texted him but she wanted her apology to be in person so that she could see his response. Not to mention that the way between telling him and his response would kill her.  Though she didn’t receive a response at all. It was radio silent from Taron’s end and it hurt but she understood. He didn’t want to speak to her and she couldn’t blame him.

[shebadfuckk]

GTKM #2

My first serious relationship was in high school I was 16 and my boyfriend was 20 years old. Looking back once I reachedthe age 20 I was like yeah-no I cannot picture of myself dating a 16-year-old. But in the moment I was so full of myself, thinking that I was cool and popular for dating a guy in college. He was extremely racist which bothered me a lot. And once I voiced my concerns, he started getting really aggressive towards me.

It ended with him breaking my rib and beating me up, it was the day of the Giants parade. The second time they won, in their four yearr span of winning. I believe it was 2012 they had just won the World Series two years before then 2010 but this was the day of the Giants parade the second time they won. We went to celebrate with a bunch of friends, and he got really drunk.

We got on Caltrain with a bunch of other people, and on our way back to the car, he accused me of flirting with a guy on the upper deck. I honestly was zoned out and had no idea who he was talking about, but he bent my arm so far backward, and told me he was going to break it if I didn’t tell him, and admit to my infidelity. I was really scared because it really felt like my arm was about to break the way he had it twisted, so I spat out an apology. The guy he claimed I was looking at saw what he was doing to me and started to walk down to our deck but as he did, our stop approached, and we got off the train.

We got off the train and headed to the car, which was parallel parked between two other cars. It was a very busy day for Caltrain, because of the ongoing parade. 

As he was trying to leave the area we were parked he hit two parked cars, and that’s when I really started to worry. I said something about getting out of the car while it was driving and he had his arm across my chest, holding me down against the backrest the whole car ride back to his house. ( it was only about a five minute drive we lived pretty close to the train station.)

When we got home, he freaked the fuck out on me and was screaming at me in the driveway. I was frozen in fear and didn’t want to get out of the car at this point because I didn’t know what he would do. He yanked the door open so far that it bounced back and slammed into his back as he leaned in to grab me. He kept yelling “get the fuck out of the car, stop making a scene” and he pulled me out and slammed me onto the trunk of his Miata. The angle he threw me at sent my rib cage perfectly into the car and I instantly felt like I couldn’t breathe very well. Every breathe in and out hurt. Moving hurt, coughing hurt. I was shocked from the pain so I became pretty limp and he dragged me into the house. He must have grabbed my purse too which I don’t remember him doing because once inside he grabbed the two handles of my purse with each hand and ripped the purse in half, sending the contents of my purse flying, one of them being my slide phone. ( this was back in the day when phones had a full keyboard buttons, it was a slided up version)

This purse has been given to me by my mother whom I’m not very close with. I had seen it in a shop and it was really expensive and I loved it so much it was the prettiest blue and white bag I’d ever seen at my age and she know I wanted it so bad even tho it was like $200 she went back to the store and got it for me and gave it to me on my birthday and I started crying. It was a very meaningful purse to me it wasn’t just a bag.

Anyways, he took a weight that he used to lift every day, took the battery out of my phone and smashed the battery and then smashed my phone. He dragged me over to the couch by my hair and held me down choking me out, screaming that when I got raped (I lost my virginity getting raped) I clearly wanted it and was asking for it, and screaming about how pathetic I was for complaining about how I lost my virginity. I don’t know how I lost my shoes but they weren’t on my feet anymore and I knew I had to run away so I just ran out the garage door, and down the street.

Now, this parade happened to be the day of Halloween the specific year that the Giants won. I remember it was the time of night where people had started trick-or-treating. And me-running away from a man with no shoes was really not looked at anything besides typical for Halloween night. Nobody was paying any mind to me, but I was really running for my life.. and I remembered thinking “if I die tonight I’ll be on the news and I wonder if anyone watching this happen would remember me.”

He inevitably caught up with me and before I could realize he had his arm around my neck, lifted me off the ground, trying to choke me out, all the while saying “ just come back, let’s talk about it” or something along those lines.

I had tilted my chin down towards my chest to prevent him his arm from wrapping around my neck, but instead, it just wrapped around my mouth AND my nose, because his arm was big enough to cover both areas, and I ended up suffocating anyways. I had braces at the time, and he was holding my face so tight that my lips pressed into my braces and started bleeding. I don’t remember much after that, except thinking that nobody was helping me, and they probably thought it was a Halloween joke, but it was really all real, and I was terrified and about to die , trying to make my last breath, hold out as long as I could, while I struggled against his strength.

I don’t remember doing this, but apparently I kicked him in the balls while I was struggling and he fell to the floor. I most definitely passed out in between these events, because I went straight to black after his arm wrapped around my mouth, and I woke up to spitting blood over him, laying on the ground. (  which is when I realized my braces had to cut my lips.)

He lay their writhing in pain, and I just ran away as fast as I could, about 5 miles to my friends house, where he and his friends have been partying all night and told me I would be safe there, and if he tried to show up, they would all jump him.

I never saw much of him after that day, but I remember I had a backpack of his stuff at my house. (mind you, I was still in high school at the time, and I had told my dad all the bruises came from cheer practice.)

 This particular instance, my dad didn’t believe me because a whole separate series of events that if you guys even read this far and want to hear how that happened I will tell you, but it’s kind of too much to write just for the sake of writing. But anyways, my dad dragged me to the garage where people would generally have talks if they were in trouble, so I interpreted it as I was in trouble, and had to say anything I could to get out of it. I told my dad a very vanilla story of what happened. And my dad ended up taking the guy to Starbucks bought him a coffee to give him his stuff back.

That always stuck with me because if I had a daughter that that happened to, I would want to kill somebody. But maybe it’s on me for not telling him the full story. Either way it was an extremely traumatic event and it wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but running 5 miles with a broken rib with some thing I felt very accomplished about. I could’ve died that day, and I honestly believe I would have if I didn’t effectively run away.

He tried to apologize five years later, and when I told him I didn’t want to fuck him again he immediately retract his apology and told me I was a desperate whore. I still never let go of that day and even though it wasn’t the first time I experienced violence, a part of me interpreted as the first time I did, because I was grown enough to know better.

It really doesn’t sound scary when I’m writing it on paper but recalling the actual memories seems like a horror movie. Anyways, that’s a vague recap of that situation and if you guys want to hear more, I will definitely tell you. I’m just currently using this as an outlet for all of my thoughts, and somehow that came to mind today.

[arrow-gt-ace]

I was a sheltered child what does asdfgk mean

oh it's not an acronym or anything if that's what you're wondering! it's basically just a keyboard smash of random letters. honestly i'm not even sure why i do it half of the time? it's just a habit i picked up in my years of being online because it just "feels" right you know? usually i do it when i'm excited, or "yelling" or "laughing", or for when I just dont have a word for the emotion i'm feeling but I also just tend to do it randomly? i also tend to do it when i feel like my text is too dry and formal to show that i'm not actually upset/annoyed by something like in my last post (which is where I assume you saw me doing this) i did that keyboard smash as a way to basically say "pffft jack is such a silly guy he doesnt even know when there's birds on his head" you know how some people will pepper their text with "lol" or "lmao" often out of habit? that's how i use keyboard smashes asdfgk (though i feel like my keysmashes are a lot more ambiguous than lol/lmao) so yeah! it's nothing bad or sarcastic, just my typing habit.

[icos-3]

Chapter 4 - The Kidnapping of Danny Fenton - Tumblr Edition

Since AO3 was down, I might as well post the chapters of my fic here. This is not a rewrite of the story. It will contain fixes/edits for problems that initially went unnoticed by me. These edits will eventually be added to AO3. Big thank you to the volunteers at the OTW for your hard work!

3 - 4 - 5 Index

TW: descriptions of body horror

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Those sounds...

.

At first, Agent S thought it was just the machine in the center of the room.

After all, it had made similar noises in the past.

But over time it grew louder.

Much louder than it had ever been.

And the sounds, no, the screams of the creature inside kept growing louder and louder. 

Layers upon layers of vile...

horrible sounds…

All layered on top of each other…

.

Some were otherworldly.

thunderous...

monstrous...

incomprehensible...

alien…

Like the world itself was being torn apart.

.

But some were… 

screams...

cries...

human…

.

They were deeply unnerving.

And to some, deeply upsetting.

.

The unearthly shrieks filled the lab like an explosion, sending personnel and bystanders alike into

Everyone held onto their ears, desperately trying to cover them.

The glass windows in front of them shattered, leaving them devoid of cover.

S had no other choice than to start yelling at her head agent.

"Sir! We need to shut it off!"

He was staring, unflinchingly, at the horrors unfolding inside the shaking contraption. 

Tables and desks vibrated, and vials and flasks of all shapes rattled off and smashed on the floor.

A steaming liquid was bubbling out of the ungodly machine in front of them.

It felt like it just kept getting louder and louder. She couldn't take much more.

"SIR!" 

This seemed to get him out of his trance.

"Shut if off!"

From where they were observing before, several scientists and agents dashed towards the screens and keyboards behind them.

The machine slowed down to a halt, and eventually, the screams did too.

With the ghastly shrieks dying down, and now being able to think, she began inching towards the ungodly contraption.

.

Sickly yellow and black goo flowed out of the tube like structure, with neon green gas escaping with each popping bubble.

Over time, the unearthly slime seemed to cool down and deflate.

But something inside caught her eye.

.

Agent S always had faith in her employers. That she were doing these things in the interests of the people: The people of Amity Park.

To serve them.

To help them.

To protect them. 

But today, she felt that faith waver.

.

Inside the machine, there were bits and pieces of flesh and blood submerged in sludge, all arranged in inhuman ways…

a severed human arm, sprouting more arms at the fingers, like a tree…

ghostly intestines, covered in red, arranged into a rose like arrangement, repeating on itself in the middle, like a fractal…

a heart with green pustules growing all over it, with more hearts sprouting from them like seeds…

.

and in the center of it all, laid a melted, moaning ghostly child, and next to him, a bruised... human... child...

the two of them were joined at the hip, slowly melting and fusing together…

.

She couldn't hold it in anymore.

She emptied her insides beside the unholy contraption.

What have we done…

What have I done…

.

When she looked up, able to steady herself again, she saw medical staff piling through the goo, guts and gore.

Eventually they pulled out the… children?

no.

A child.

But not just any child.

"Agent T, Agent V, make sure he's stable."

It was Phantom.

.

She saw the two agents take hold of him before disappearing behind the lab doors.

Her superior was standing right beside her. 

"Make sure to clean yourself up Agent S!"

He turned around and walked towards the lab exit.

The doors slid open with a hiss.

"Today has been a great success! We must celebrate!"

The doors slammed shut behind him.

S promptly emptied her stomach again.

.

.

She was not so sure about that last statement…

She thought back to those screams…

what she saw… 

She had to know

what happened to that human child...?

"Hey, S, what do you think of all this?"

Her co-worker had come over and helped her to her feet.

"I'm not sure, but whatever it was, I'm sure it was no good..."

They had a strange look on their face. They turned to look at the remains and suck covering the floor

"To think, something so small could do all… this…"

No

that wasn't an unthinking abomination like they had said…

phantom didn't want this...

he was… 

"Here, grab my hand."

that… 

child…

"Let's get you cleaned up."

that human child…

they were experimenting on him…

They had killed him!

She had to do something.

She turned around to look at the machine one more time and looked for something, anything, she could use to put all this to an end.

That's when the shine on something in the corner of the room caught her eye.

A lens.

Agent S now knew what she had to do.

.

.

.

[ohmymalice]

"Brawn & Brains"

Jschlatt x Reader | Video Game Highschool AU | Enemies to Lovers

This was it, the sweat rolling down and sticking in between your fingers, the chills you felt go down your spine as you felt yourself getting cold feet. The year's closing and the final FPS championship takes place in VGHS.

You shook your head, trying to get rid of all the lingering thoughts of anxiety and fear but fuck, you don't get the time to overthink as they start calling out everyone from team one by one. You stood there, making sure your varsity uniform was smoothed out. If you were gonna lose this championship, you might as well look good losing it.

They called out your name, your legs instantly start walking before you could think, carrying out the movement you and everyone in this championship rehearsed for weeks. The bright light in the stadium hit you in the eyes, you try your best not to squint as you smile and wave at the crowd cheering your name.

You had to win, you can't disappoint anyone. You're varsity captain after all and most of all... That fucking asshole in the other team pisses you off, and you want- no not even a want, you need to win this.

Everyone sat in their gaming chairs, putting on their headsets, some already fixed their settings on the pcs before hand while others only got to fixing theirs now. You were one of the few who fixed it previously but to make sure, you opened settings again, making sure your sens, crosshair, and key binds were adjusted to your comfortability.

Everyone piled into the party, before the game started the teams talked amongst themselves, most were telling each other good luck while some teased others and said this will be an easy win.

You scoffed, easy win? A sudden message at the bottom of your screen pops up, from him.

Jschlatt: Goodluck fuck face, don't miss like last time bitch.

You looked up to see the man who sat on the opposite end of the table. He was referring to your last game where you lost because you missed a shot.

Everyone was using the same long table, on one side was your team, and the other was the opposing team.

Usually a message like that wouldn't affect you, you've seen it all being the varsity captain of VGHS but nobody made your chest burn with hate more than Schlatt.

The varsity captain of his school, he ranked top one overall in his high school and everyone always compared you two from the get go. You may be varsity captain but you aren't ranked one, you were captain because of your strategies, your skill in leadership was outstanding while Schlatt was more aim based.

People often said he had the brawns, and you had the brains.

That was the clear difference between you two.

No matter how smart you are, no matter how ahead you think.

He out aims you in an inhumanely way.

You peered your head to the side, trying to see in between the monitors that sat next to each other. You saw Schlatt smirking down at the message he sent, clearly proud with himself. He felt your gaze on him, his eyes snapping up to look at you keeping the smirk on his face. You swear you saw the ends of his lips spread even wider when he saw your frown.

"Hey cappy-tainn," He drawed out, leaning forward so you could hear him better. You give nothing but a nod, keeping a stoic expression on your face.

He groaned, going back to his keyboard. You could see he was typing in your chat.

Jschlatt: Gimmie a little sumthin' honey, c'mon. You haven't even lost yet and you're already being a sore loser. Y/n: is your goal to fucking piss me off? Jschlatt: Yea, and I can tell it's workin'.

Your little argument was interrupted by cheers and screaming. The games were about to start and you didn't even notice.

You make eye contact with him and he winks at you.

"Good luck, bitch." he mouths, and god you held back all your desperate desire to grab the monitor in front of you and to smash it against his abnormally big fucking head.

You and your team spawn in a wooded area inside of a camp site, a bunch of supplies and load outs were on the ground but were limited since it was the first round.

You studied the way Schlatt played for months, you knew how he always played aggressive in the first round, your plan was to get one or two of your team mates to bait him into a spot where you and your other team could kill him and finish off his team mates.

"Everyone, remember our plan we practiced. Bait and flank, can I get any updates on their position?" You asked, looking towards your team as one of them was already reading positions and finding their base.

"Few feet away but I see engagement. I say they're gonna rush, we have to move out quick." You nodded your head in reply and motion for you team to carry out the plan.

As you heard the sound of heavy foot steps and tactical gear get closer, you instructed your team to bait out and shoot to scare them off. They briefly back off, taking cover behind the shrubbery and trees. One down, four left.

"Nice," You mumbled out to your sniper who got the pick.

One of your team mates pushed out and played aggressively as your snipper backed them up, making sure nobody could harm your aggro.

You hear the sound of gunfire and you start pushing out towards the back, making sure the other team doesn't see you. You hear one of your team mates get killed, another team mate trades them and now it's 4 to 3.

You exited out of the tent and went towards the trees, waiting for Schlatt and his team to get closer where you wanted them.

"Now, now, now!" You ordered, your team started shooting them from both angles, one of your team mates go down but you shot down the last two.

Wait, last two? Aren't they supposed three?

Fuck where's Schla-

"Did you really think I would use the same tactic I've been using for all my fuckin' games against one of the smartest captains? I knew you'd read me." He whispered in your ear, you felt your heart jump out of your chest but you kept quiet.

The metallic barrel was shoved into your back, feeling him grab your shoulder to make sure you aren't getting away, and if you tried anything, he'll shoot.

"If you shoot me, you'll fucking die." You whispered back, a small smirk on your face.

"You think I wouldn't know that you'd switch your plan? Fuck you-"

Schlatt looked around and realized he directly stepped on a land mine.

The bait was you, you knew he'd want your head the first round. The plan was to always die with him, you knew how much he'd want that kill, even if it meant at his own expense.

A loud sound of a gun firing rang in your ears, you looked down, it was a short but sharp pain that slowly increased that made you wince. Your avatar started fading into existence.

Schlatt gives a smug grin, "Whatever first round goes to you, Toots. I just wanted to be the first to kill you. I won't go easy on ya."

Jschlatt ︻┳═一 Y/n (Jschlatt killed Y/N)

Not even a beat later Schlatt hears the sound of beeping and looks down, an explosion erupted and he dies, losing the first round to your team.

Y/n 🧨Jschlatt

The crowd screams, some in anger, some in pure joy. People start chanting your team's name, pulling posters people made up to show their support.

1 - 0

"Just two more guys, we can fuckin' win this." You smiled at your team mates, hugging them in celebration for winning the first round.

Schlatt just stared at you, maybe he wouldn't hate losing the game for once if he got to see such a bright and genuine smile on your face.

[fkyumerica]

i saw johnny depp at the grocerie store

he was small

thomas edison's sons were chucky

they would kidnap for shit

i just heard one talk

ghost or microphone

leon throws beer cans at them like wayne

they fucked with kong

what did he hear first he wouldbelieve

smashing it more, adding more to it recorded

mercury ball

video

tv

seance

smaller to bigger

he is a girl

500 girls for him here we go

giant to small

lasher

was him

thomas edison

his brother

sleepy hollow the woman who chopped off heads was lincolns "wife" when he was shot in a phone booth

it was hooked up to it

anyone could go over it anytime and firework blow it up

no one was

inject

umbilical cord hooked up to guy while fucking her

electrocutes him

900 times he got 80,000 pregnant

and the rest too

had to make it happen

him walking on all fours was weird

hanging on the wall with his feet too

39 pregnant against it

sam did it

st.valentines massacre

im for it

kill whats in her

then her

and hear her last words spoken to her

i hear it

mike to mary sue then johnny depp to madison square gardens

they lost

dead now

and shoot fetus first cant shoot him

she will turn around and shoot it out after, fetus

New Year 2024 UAE Fireworks - Dubai Burj Khalifa Palm Jumierah Yas Bay Abudhabi

that many for him to stop and look

just dragged his whole life

with him too come on girls

cant get up

end of heaven

or rest of the world was it to chair leg lift them up

men was table

legs down

and aanother child under him was temptation

leave us leadership us from evil

aMEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKK

lick and do it again

passes the cihld after to his dad

and he will get pregnant whats in it and she gives birth to two

no three

small

last one squirts out

got her fetus pregnant too

puses its button it wont stop

swing smashes it around

to stay there on the ground

beast shit was this

no

battle today

royale

play it like a piano he will not hurt you

keyboard

and fuck it up again giermo

i wont save you

cant either

he fucks it

upp

waits all day and night and wont write either

he wont meet me

and she doesnt give a shit either

youre a dad

alden's mom mary sue, jim morrisons mom, mary sue

marilyn mansons mom, mary sue

charles mansons mom with wayne, mary sue

she mated with wayne

then he was in denial

andd michael miller was killed in class by brock lesner

i alughed my ass off

right in front of me

two chairs

blood everywhere

his face was gone except a eyeball

then the guy he lived with came out and said he was charles manson

get out of court get in

sit in it right

ive been waiting all day

worked at mcdonalds

come on im back

is the guy after that one dies

lived with him

then rents a condo

it is their house still

jet packs after

monsters on this block

lindita is the fat now and then girl who got pregnant by the guy down the street old man

and said she owned half the block

then mated with fred dursts dad

the guy down the block

scottish son

like 25 or 35 years old

she was 12

7 in the movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBCnBciNBqo this was butthead

The Pogues live 1986

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAEFKjqPtlU this is dopey

The Irish Rover - The Dubliners & The Pogues

they let the next generation be a darker color to work

the resst were white

and you can only be beige

thomas edison with a beard

didnt mate with all his family members yet

he said it

the whole group is gay

is alden's dad, then went with alden's wife and had kelly clarkson after, made him cross eyed pissed

penny said her mom was elizabeth bell

with that old man

fake legs

came in a wheel chair

with needles

then they wwere the people fkng up the old folks home

then chris wanted to marry him

for manhattan

3 women decided it

to be fake liza menillis

and moms

to his family

like 95 of them

im spanish

half go to him

another half to naother building

then another half to another building

it was homeless buildigns

one got a idea

fuck me for marriage

said it to all of them

his mom said me

his dad said fuck

back and forth weird words

mumbles

muh me mer marriae

the sex would be like it

bump bump a bump bump

drinking small alcohol to ride it

or off ride

to get off pregnant on another guy after, elizabeth bell was it

if you hold someones tits up in gay female sex they will look like a man, finger them will sound like a man

and its always hot to lesbians

get in it get into it

she he is hot, wont leave, will enver leave them

elizabeth is a pike

you dont come back after too

and smoke on this while youre having sex with a guy come over to me after or i get him next

speaking of drug deals

friends

i had none

and guys

half are women

find don

fuck her

did they do a y2k internet prank with macafee

sa ve 100 dont go

their moms are dead

from frankenmuth

they just kept building stuff down the road

and living as mormon

s

openly do not marry but have sex to marry

they lie then

no anwser? civil war

taller? revolutionary war

car only to keep up to kill them

jay z is huuuge and a huge problem, punches in all the doors for anyone to go into

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=7243853235658755&set=gm.2301666843361629&idorvanity=259458537582480 anne marie openly fucked him there and he glues her eyes shut to stay there till they open

The Kitsch Meow

Fluffing pillows

Woo gay horny parent shit sometimes kids stay inside, 4,5,6,7,8

one stone over the next in the mouth is how to talk like it

it is a abusive and abused retard, and will not lern to not do it, and too bad to let live

so they go to war anywhere, they are just it

will keep attacking

and threaten till many come over, then they all attack someone

"who threatened them right? no she/he did to me"

aand gold lamp? she is gay and fat suit fake dick easy

plain women dont want anything

wasnt a bed either, stand up orgy house

on the gruond i can take his truck

with cm all over in it yea put it all over it i got it now prengnat with it what fight is it what and found one put it in the fat suit i did it whoa there it is taco bell table

shove it in there too

so a wakostan does it

too tan he is insane now

wont get hired is gay and gets alcohol and starts parties to get fucked, left his wife, had a dick

i was just killing people in cars until these giant sports guys do a back breaker at me

then i get up aand leave holy shit what

face

then

i leave through those groups of guys with cameras

keep going

saw one of their moms

i can walk in a house

here since wtf did i do

go in court

what is it

he keeps screaming

giant black guy now wont stop screaming so jude leaves

and he jumps in that seat

judges

and judges you

three tv shows complaining about it since

one got bleached sitting there whoa

inside

keeps going

ESPN

Tyler Booker and J.J. McCarthy shared a moment after the game

Facebook

can only let out straight drugs here

dick fuck me he said to him

no no no we hold on

other guy said

is finally being that asshole when caught

is letting his kids go outside to get raped by guys

and in cars with any women and fake women

men in drag

needs them in his life

https://fb.watch/pkcPykxB-S/

WXYZ-TV Channel 7

Now that's a celebration! Check out this fun video sent by the Hart Family in West Bloomfield after Michigan beat Alabama in the Rose Bowl yesterday. We love to see it!

Facebook

they know how i looked down what my dads hair looked like

they look for him all day in crs

and he fluffed his hair to look like it

4

beef

for that guy to cancel the macafee i had to ask like 6 times

he said you got a deal

i dont want it

ect.

but you saved 200 dollars

i dont need it

you will like the program

omfg

for like 10 minutes

"get out there and do something"

jen met anthony and asked him to pay for her abortion

there is some guy who kept shooting aat us

a nut case who killed his mom

and kept his dads boner?

to movie show fuck em up

pretend you want something he will be there

and yea

who?

shoot him then

is the shot

vinnie is butthead, and the main hobbit

uhhhh

frodo

did he draw eyebrows on your dog

it made me mad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgrV3jxI9Bw they each think they can get their own house sleeping around, each family member

My Dogs

They give them a dog then they fuck it cant pick it up then he leaves them, run in yard new dad fucks him whoa! Just stands there till there is a relationship touched his dick he will show it to his dad he got 54

surrounded me to get attacked by dogs

amanda clemonds

met with vinnie

yea i can definitley fuck him

said it at the end of the hoome movie

and what home they steal too

carrie married her

18 fucking houses

watch it again, reversed it

then it was full house

smash theirs open

clifford and dan/mission come out haha

the one in trailer park boys

dark hair always drink in hand

clifford is ow ow ow

hand thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQKm9Tv7nIQ this is him

Harvard President Claudine Gay says she will resign

If you are here I will gang rape anyone

i can hide behind glasses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enWbbLXB11w who gets the angles

Harvard president resigns amid scandals

over 270 guys

polled

from harvard

are it

and party now come on

ska

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOsADRyObLY and muzzle

Panel: Was Harvard president's resignation about student safety, plagiarism or racism?

on right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPBxIwZyovg i just fucking hate you. i gotta be strong to hear it. her mother. hahah gets up and leave after she does and woo she in her car fuck me if not bye

Harvard president resigns amid plagiarism accusations, congressional testimony

then hog start it and bye

we start killing stalking her

killed two amish we got a place

well keep looking for me

live outside pregnant

we found 54

basket ball

lights

cameras give them away could be yours

if we dont do it now

noroi

i am right i did it

punch one

college kids right

we went at her amish filmed her

she was nice to kids

saw her with two midgets she is mating with

it was hot and waitress homeley

here

i say it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGMMYugHK3I him and her just kill her

The Worst Roommate Undertaker Ever Had!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj2rmsvyygs that is him

leprechaun 1993

amish paradise midgets and dad watches

switch them together from the noroi pile and they keep doing it

stand there. hand them to me.

its all she says

walrus dad is it jessica?

brandon couldent say no. gay.

Women had one, here take him

Men had one, hey stay here

These are the boat guys, they put all of their sons on a boat

Read 4 posts

Slept around throw them all in a pile

Guys come over for them make them the biggest today

Huge, they come back and thank you

Lived only on boats, others came to kill them the whole time couldn’t make it to one generation started to die and did it then one night saw three at once, saw anything fucked it

Vinnie saves them, lived on a boat

And attacks anyone till they are worn  out and alone

Who hoes the home when everyone leaves

Block party

inside kids party

and abandon the kids talk about it

[doomedspork]

Goodbye Friend

Wrote this about 6 months after my ex got kicked out of the country. Never actually sent her this poem, and I’m assuming she isn’t following this anonymous poetry blog. Guess it just stays between me and all you delightful strangers. 

I guess when I last saw you, I wasn't prepared to say goodbye,

I'd tell people I'd never see you again,

But I didn't believe it.

When the time came to greive, it

Seemed too far away,

Everywhere I stay, 

Is somewhere far away from home,

Truth is I'm alone,

But I didn't feel alone

Your smile still keeps me warm,

When others make me shudder,

Your laugh is an echo,

And I'm a refraction,

Different to different people,

We tear or we fold

We half or stay whole,

There is a hole,

Where my heart should be,

It beats to drum and bass,

Visions fuse but don't replace,

The glass in my phone,

That I want to smash to reach you

Memories fade and cinematography,

Strips what little I have left of home,

I've been homeless and cold

Carrying around coal,

In my chest,

Burning for the rest,

Of a race

I'm wholly ambivalent to,

Olfactory quartets blare synesthesic trumpets

Headlights and bent heads,

Ambient noise,

Distraction

Somewhere deep down, i blame the world for taking you away from me,

Deeper, I blame you,

At my core is a headache

At my core is inward rage

Magma can cool, 

Creating caustic continents,

Nations will tear us apart,

Four fucking letters tinged in regret,

Burn a mark into my soul,

V

I

S

A

I smell you in the static hum of steetlights and in dimly lit carparks,

As my fingers hit my keyboard and the capillaries in my eye burst one by one,

Factories built into my bones have your family name,

Choice was never an option,

The rollercoaster of my nose seeks you out,

In smoking areas and daal,

In the exciting and banal,

In the crowds and hum of canary wharf,

And the way I snear at any attempt of pretence,

I'm a lot more on the fence,

Since I met you,

Shouting till blue

In the face...

And now our roles are reversed,

You're the athiest,

And I'm just trying to make you believe in me,

I'm so fucking devout nowadays,

Conscripted by my own propaganda,

I spew hope on every page

I write, Constantly fighting,

The reality of my surroundings,

Wind hounding me down,

I hit the ground again and again,

And hesistate a bit more each time

Before getting back up,

Strain and shame,

With little relief from the pain,

The world seems colder since you left

Without your shoulder I'm bereft 

Of some semblance of sanity,

No I'm ruled by vanity

And delusions of grandiousity

But I'll murmur truthfully

One last time

Through all the months of lying

Acting fine,

Truth is:

I love you

And I will confront the fact

That I'll never see you again.

[143zi]

letter i made for him

Sincerely, i will tell you everything.

Questioned myself a lot these days whether is this feeling love or things like that? because i dont really understand what love actually is. Scared about everything yet still taking the risk since i got nothing to lose. They said, if you love them you gotta tell them. And i agree! since we’re all only live once so with all the bravery left we gotta do everything we want in order to living a no regret life.

Might sounds so silly BUT I REALLY CANT get rid you off of my head no matter how hard i tried (and i actually dont try). The very first moment i saw you from the photos you had in your profile i was feeling you, like.. i was thinking “oh, i got that good vibes from him” and turned out we’re a match. Come to think about it, this is so funny.

Disclaimer : before going any further, i think i should tell you that im a blunt person so im gonna say anything i wanted to. Especially, to the people i adore the most! I always want to tell them how precious they’re for me.

And you’re just too good to be true. The man of my dream, my granted wish. Your existence mean a lot for me, and thanks to you, my dreams come true. Im actually a real hopeless-romantic (AND SO HELPLESS) yet still dreaming of the day where i can meet the love of my life, the one that got me brave to take all the risk whatever it takes. I mean, as long as it’s with you, there’s nothing to lose. It’s been a very long time since i got this much butterflies. The thrill was all fun and i couldnt be more thankful. Sometimes, i could find ways to love me by loving the other first. And i think… it is what it is.

This is so interesting because your every text could add my lifespan. I love it when we were talking about musics and sharing each others meme. I still remember the first time i matched with u was one of my lowest point and thanks to you i got giggled after crying for days. Im being honest when i told u i was the happiest when i got ur text (real). You could ask that one friend of mine whom i always told about u, how i was always keyboard smashing everytime i got a notification from u (THIS IS SO SILLY OF ME).

I considerate to confess all of these in order to set myself free. I love hard and getting move on as soon as possible, and by confessing, sure it will helps me a lot. Anyways, maybe i shouldnt call it as love? Because perhaps i was just actually getting attached (a lil bit too much). And i do not expecting anything from this. Anyway, unrequited loves are always the mesmerized one for me, at least. Im glad if you’re still wanna be friends with me after i send u this, but only if u feel uncomfy its ok to make a distance and… goodbye! see u when i see u!

Im hoping every good things to happen for you, in the future. Such as, you’re gonna be graduated in 2023, have a decent job you’d like to do, and get healed from anything that broke you in the past. I hope the tattoo in your hand would last long so you dont need to recreate it way too frequently. Jill, your babygirl! I hope she wont get any sick, eating much, and always cheering you up by your side. Please pay attention to yourself and eat well soo you wont get sick anymore.

Nothing happened in this world just to be a mere coincidence, hence everything happens for a reason. Even if the two of us never passing by each other in rl and only meeting here, virtually but i guarantee all i was just saying and feeling was true. And so do us.

Lastttttt, im so glad to meet you bayuu and wishing you more good days ahead, xoxo!

p.s : do not tell anyone about this im so shy (the last thing i would like to ask) and do not make fun of this (i know that u wont but still i couldnt help my paranoia) (╥﹏╥) i know what i was just saying up there kindaaa cringe but just let it be (IM SORRY) ^•ﻌ•^ฅ♡

[call-sign-shark]

*smashing my keyboard* THERE'S A LOT HERE, I KNOW REB.

Heaven can take care of herself but she was in distress and this moment of weakness would have been deadly. But Aberama was here to save the day! Let's scream together alright? With this chapter, I realized that lots of people loved Abe too and it warmed my heart. He's so great, so badass, he really deserves it! His paternal instincts had kicked in hard when he saw how young and lost Heaven was. I am delighted you think it can be the start of a heartwarming friendship because it's also my opinion.

Thank you for your kind comment about my portrayal of Arthur's emotional distress. He's all lost and agonizing, and for sure his wife is not insensitive to it. But as you said, he needs to understand that actions have immediate consequences. Heaven could never be like Linda who passively observes it and ends up snorting snow too. It's like "Right, you're my ride or die but we both put effort into it"

The part you've mentioned is crucial to him since John was certainly the brother he loved the most. Or at least, the brother with whom he had the most adorable and loving relationship. If I remember well Paul Anderson himself said it in an interview. That's always why he relapsed and what I intended to write about: He's not taking drugs at the slightest inconvenience here, we're talking about his closest brother. Also, taking into account Heaven and John's relationship they saw each other even more often than they do in the show.

Reb, you got me wheezing. Y'all just hate Tommy so much here! But he's definitely scheming. 🙄 I don't want to spoil anything for the kissing scene but... It's likely that Arthur will find out about it one way or another. In any case, he's absolutely not going to react peacefully.

I can't believe you've picked up my description of Polly and thought ti matches the essence of the character (as well as filling an insult with love, which is not only beautiful but so Polly-coded). Helen has something so fierce and natural, her Polly role enhances it just fine.And finally, the pregnancy. SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN RIGHT? Now, Heaven was already fierce and brutal enough so now that the mama bear instincts are going to come, all her enemies better run and hide!

thank you so much babe, I was in such a bad mood today that all the love you give to this fic filled my heart with joy and my head with positive thoughts. Love you Reb, I am delighted you've enjoyed this chapter. 🖤

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary:  Danger lurks in every corner of Small Heath now, a place in which you're forced to stay. A place where Changretta and Section D are ready to get you. As you're trying to work things out with Arthur following your violent argument, Polly tells you something that will definitely complicate your role in the Vendetta.

Words: 6.8k

TW: Angst, mention of drug use, canonical violence, mention of murder, mention of self-harm, co-dependent relationship, grieving.

Notes:

✞ This is chapter 13 of the Arthur Shelby x You series Heaven in Your Eyes. Each chapter can be read as stand-alone but reading the whole series will make the experience far more intense and better.

✞ Quite a long chapter I admit, certainly the longer. The future chapters won't be as long I swear -- it's just that there was a lot of small "plot twists".

✞ Lucy is @emotionalcadaver's OC.

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The thick fog of the night danced in front of the car’s headlights, swirling at the wind’s discretion. The driver, keeping an eagle eye on your dainty silhouette, had started the engine as soon as he saw you storming out of your house, disheveled and crying.  He only waited five seconds before driving at a very slow pace, scanning the misty streets of foul-smelling Small Heath to find you. For a short while, he was convinced you had managed to escape from his watch and, admittedly, the persistent fog only complicated the task further. “Fucking bitch”, he pestered, turning left on the next street as the car’s wheels squealed against the wet concrete of the road but you didn’t hear, far too deafened by the unremitting drumming of your own heart. You stopped your race near a field, and sat on a small wall, feeling your body wear out now that the adrenaline's effects were dispersing. Once settled, you buried your face in your cold palms and squeezed your eyes shut. Where should you go? What should you do? Were all of Arthur's promises empty? What will happen to your marriage now? Will Tommy keep ruining your life? All these questions played on repeat in your skull, like the unsettling loop of a broken record echoing in a murky abandoned house. And along the haunting tune resonated your and Arthur's voice, from a not-so-far memory.

"I'll marry you one day."

"You're already married, Arthur."

"I don't bloody care, it's you I want ay. Fook Linda, fook the family, fook the rest of the world. It's you. It has always been you."

A shiver ran down your spine as your mind went back to the night you had this conversation. You could almost feel the warm sensation of his naked skin against yours, as he cradled you to his chest, legs entangled, and his cologne all over your bedsheet. The first time you made love.

"Listen, I know you're scared and I know I’ve got a bad reputation. But if you give me the chance to be your man, I swear to God you'll be the only one for me. Look at ya. How could I want another woman? They can all die. I'll never, fucking never, cheat on you."

"But with Linda--"

"It ain't the same. We're talking about you. My sweet angel. My soul mate. My saving grace. The other part of me broken self."

"... Alright. Promise it then."

"Cross me heart and hope to die."

"No drugs either? Like, a bit of snow occasionally never killed anyone but apart from this, no relapse okay?"

"No drugs but..." He paused, gently taking your hand in his, and kissed all your fingers one by one "But in exchange I want ye to stop hurting yourself. I saw the inside of your thighs so please, no more cuts ay?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." You smiled, interlocking your little fingers together in a sweet pinky promise.

You pressed one trembling hand against your mouth at the bittersweet memory, tears tingling your eyes and blurring your vision. A muffled sob escaped from your plumped lips, then a second, and finally tears came in waterfalls. It's been a long time since you really cried, and here you were. Weeping like a lost kid.

Despite the darkness of the night and the patchy coat of the fog, the stalker caught sight of the long crimson streaks that ran down one of your frail arms. He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue as his hand reached for the gun hidden in the glove box. Finally, he thought, he was a short moment away from a very sweet vengeance he had spent years carefully planning. A little excited sigh escaped from his mouth while his fingers caressed the cold barrel of the gun, already aroused at the idea of pointing the canon against your head the moment he would force you to get in his car. Even if he knew that the wisest thing to do after your capture was to drive you to them, he thought about going on a little stroll with you. Maybe he'll bring you to an isolated land to shove you on the muddy ground, and make you regret the day you decided to murder his brother in the small mountainous town of Haute-Falaise. Only after he had ruined you enough, stealing every ounce of your dignity, he would drive you to Section D's headquarters. With a bit of luck, he could keep hurting you a little bit more before they decide to pull the trigger and repaint the walls with the contents of your brain.

The roots of his hatred had started the day he realized that each time he closed his lids, his brother's eyes haunted him. Or at least, the two hollow and dark holes on his face since his eyes had been gouged out. There was also the blood, running from his mouth, ears, nose, and even streaming down his cheeks in crimson tears. Maybe he should have listened to the local police when they told him not to look at the corpse, but he had to do it. To his questions, even the forensic pathologist couldn’t answer. The only certainty the experts agreed on was that Christian’s lungs and heart had been smashed to a pulp from the inside and that he had stab wounds all over his body just like the other four corpses found. Five corpses and nothing else. The murderer was nowhere to be seen: no one had witnessed something, not even heard the slightest muffled scream. It was as if Death came, struck them with his scythe, and left without a trace.

Closer. A little bit closer...

You jumped at the sudden and unexpected sensation of a man’s hand squeezing your frail shoulder. As nimble as a cat and as quick as a lightning bolt, you jumped from the wall and unsheathed the dagger you kept hidden in your right lace garter, “Who the fuck are you?!” You hissed, voice burning with fury and frozen eyes darting at the stranger. You had been so quick to react that the man, vaguely confused by what just happened, found himself in quite a poor situation. Indeed, he didn’t expect a young woman to press the tip of a sharp blade against his carotid artery, ready to slit it.  God knew he was a fearless fighter, but you had been too unpredictable, even for him. And yet, he didn’t move nor particularly react despite the unpleasant surprise.

“Heaven Shelby?” He asked.

You snarled and bared your teeth at this unfamiliar voice calling you by your name. If marrying Arthur Shelby had taught you what real love was, you had also learned how to become even more deadly than you already were. Seemed like the Shelby's wariness had turned you feral.

“Make one more step and I’ll bleed you like a fucking pig.” You warned. The cold wind of the night blew in your hair, making your long white locks dance behind you like the ghostly veil of a dead bride. He frowned, unsettled by its uncommon color. What disturbed him the most though was maybe the pale and haunting color of your eyes, whose shade reminded him of two cursed aquamarine stones.

“Mrs. Shelby. I mean no harm, ‘specially not when facing such a young and delicate lady,” He started, the corner of his lips stretching in a fathomless smile despite the awe you inspired him. His small and cunning fox-like eyes squinted as he grinned. Somehow, he didn't seem to mind the blade that was still threatening him as if such a situation was casual -- and it was. If anything, he was impressed by your fierceness and the hatred that shone in your iris, which created a striking contrast with your little frame and doll face, “Well not as delicate as I’ve been told.” His smile widened at his own comment, “It’s dangerous out’here m’lady, I’ve spotted you by chance and thought I’d bring you home safe.”

“Dangerous.” You snorted, unable to hold your sarcasm. “Get the fuck away from me.” Each word from your mouth was dripping with caustic vitriol, leaving no doubt about your hostility and lethal potential. Judging by your quick and deadly reaction, you were certainly more than capable of taking care of yourself -- in truth, he could tell you wouldn't hesitate to end his life. But instead of backing up, the man carefully brought his fingertips on the shining surface of the dagger and pried it away from his throat in a slow movement without breaking eye contact with you.

“A car is following you.” He informed you.

“What?” This phrase hit you like a train, impairing the fierceness and self-confidence you’ve been showing. Surveying your surroundings quickly, you did notice the shadow of a car not so far away in the distance with its headlights shut and two glistening eyes staring at you from the driver's seat. The moment the shadow understood that you had spotted him, the car headed away from you in a loud engine roar and disappeared in the misty night. Fuck, the lad was right: someone had been following you. You sniffed, still in shock, and quickly wiped your tears with the brush of one knuckle before tricking your anxiety into focusing on your unexpected savior again. Your armed hand might be hanging loosely from your slim body, but your fingers were still firmly wrapped around the dagger’s handle. It was an expensive and deadly blade, gifted by one mysterious red-head woman whose hair reminded you of a wildfire. You had trouble remembering the name — Lucy? Something like this. What you knew though was that this troubled soul was called ‘Tommy’s little spy” by the Shelby's family, but since you couldn’t care less about your brother-in-law’s personal life you didn’t investigate further. The girl had been nice with you, that was all that mattered.

Even armed and feral, you felt vulnerable. At your big confused eyes and at the sight of mascara running down your cheeks, the man couldn’t help but feel sorry for you. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you could pass off for his daughter or maybe because you were just a few years older than his own son? He slightly tilted his body to one side to let the weak beam of a street light disclose his face and overall appearance: long and messy gray hair, thin lips, small glistening eyes, and a mysterious and slightly disturbing grin.

“Mrs. Shelby, you should come with me.” He advised, then he extended his arm, about to lay his strong hand on your shoulder a second time when you stepped back to avoid his touch with a dissuasive hiss. He stopped, “Lemme bring you back to your husband. It’s Arthur Shelby, ‘m I right?” This time, he simply offered you his palm and waited for you to make the first step. You replied to his invitation by looking dagger at him: if your eyes could kill, this one would already be sleeping with the fishes.

“No.” You protested, as stubborn as a Shelby by birth. Your heart squeezed in your chest at the mention of Arthur, the thought of him coming back home all coked up and intoxicated was still fueling your rage like gasoline thrown at a destructive fire. The last thing you wanted at the moment was to see your husband. If someone had asked you, you’d have answer that what you sincerely wanted was John and his comforting arms. John and his beaming smile. John and his way of teasing you, his jokes, his softness, his cockiness... Yes, that was John you wanted, and you wanted him now. But the cruel truth was that John wasn’t there anymore. He was lying dead and cold in a morgue, leaving you with nothing but the insufferable pain of his loss and your head screaming. “I don’t want to see him.” You asserted and fled the man’s gaze, who soon understood the situation — with age came experience, and from experience he could recognize the aching expression of a young woman wounded by the hazards of love. These Shelby men… He thought with a certain disdain. Oh, he had not been irreproachable all his life either, but a woman’s heart was a gift he missed every day of his life since his wife’s death. The mysterious lad softly reached for your wrist and, not minding your feral nature anymore, he brought it closer to his face to examine the open gash on your porcelain skin.

“Did he hurt you?”

“I did this to myself.” You broke the physical contact right away and pressed your palm firmly on the still-bleeding wound. Adrenaline had pumped so hard through your veins that the pain had been numbed: only now your nerves were slowly wakening up,  sending unpleasant tingles where the cut was. While he observed you carefully, the man wondered why such a young and fragile thing like you would do this to herself.

“Seems like you had a harsh night, kitten.” He stated with a slight fatherly tone which surprised you before he noticed the goosebumps on your skin. The situation had been so exceptional that he completely obliterated that you were barefoot outside, in the freezing temperature of Birmingham’s night, wearing nothing but a short dress. Without further ado, the man took his long black coat off and put it over your shoulders. While you still shot him a suspicious look, the warmth in which he wrapped you felt good. Your muscles relaxed and your hand closed on the two sides you brought together near your throat to protect it from the wind. “While I get why y’don’t wanna go home, ‘specially if you fought with your man, you have to understand that being alone at night in Small Heath is not safe. Let alone currently, with Changretta’s men trying to murder you all. Maybe you’d like me to bring you to Thomas instead?”

A shiver ran down your spine at the simple mention of your brother-in-law’s name. The sensation of his lips against yours was still burning your flesh and even hours after your last encounter you couldn’t get rid of his cologne’s scent that was still lingering on your hair and skin, “I’d rather get fucked by a horse than deal with this bastard.” The man blinked in surprise. He hadn’t expected you to have such a foul mouth -- that was why let out a soft chuckle, to which you replied with a very faint smile.

“Alright kitten… I get it. No Shelby men. And what about coming with me to my vardo? My son has lit a campfire and he is cooking some rabbits. Would you like that?” He suggested, one brow raised and his fox-like grin widening almost to his ears. 

“You still haven't told me who you are.”

The man took off his brown hat at your clever comment, “Ah yes. Where are my manners ay?” His dark blue eyes glistened with a cunning gleam as he slowly nodded “The name’s Aberama Gold. Nice to meet you.” 

“You bloody idiot… Sit here and don’t do anything stupid anymore.” Polly instructed her oldest nephew as soon as he had entered the room, pointing to an empty chair with her half-consumed cigarette. All alone with Ada and his aunt, who were still waiting for the other guests to come, Arthur took place and kept his head down. Polly simply took a long drag from her black cigarette and exhaled, smoke coming out of her mouth like the Devil as she quietly observed Arthur’s eyebags and bloody knuckles. Soon after your departure, she had heard the cacophony of screams and thuds coming from his house in Watery Lane. When she witnessed all the blood, destroyed furniture, and shards of glass in the living room, she had been was convinced that Arthur had murdered you out of jealousy or something. Fortunately enough, the situation wasn't that dramatic -- at least for her. After throwing herself at her nephew and forcing him to calm the fuck down, she did her best to keep the oldest Shelby brother from hurting himself more than he already did. When things got quieter, she had even scolded him as she did when he was a kid — except that all the other sermons he had been through in his childhood were nothing compared to the anger she had unleashed when he had confessed about taking drugs again.

“Is she coming to the meeting?” She finally inquired, one of her elbows resting on the wooden table and her cigarette consuming itself between her fingers.

“Don’t know Pol.” Arthur’s usual loud and gruff voice was reduced to a shy, hoarse, and saddened whisper. No matter his attempt at distracting his mind, his thoughts always came back to you. Only you. He didn’t know where you were nor if you’d come back to him and that was slowly driving him crazy. Or more than he already was. Arthur felt his fragile sanity slipping through his fingers and knew it wouldn't be long before he went berserk if it turned out you really left. Also, he was growing frustrated and agitated about sitting here in the betting shop, waiting for a useless meeting to start instead of looking for you. All he wanted was to burn this city to the ground and make it bleed until he found you and brought you back home where you belonged. That is to say by his side. Nevertheless, Polly had advised him against this decision, convinced it would only fuel your rage against him even more. She wasn’t wrong though, you needed space.

The fierce Aunt stubbed her cigarette out in the nearest ashtray and leaned toward her nephew to grab his wrist with one of her cold and sly hands. It snapped him out of his crumbling mind. “You’re insanely lucky to have a woman like her in your life, Arthur. Don’t be an ungrateful cunt by letting your addictions ruin the most precious thing you have. The bland and momentarily relief snow grants you will never hold a candle to Heaven. Understand?” She warned with the same tone she used when a young Arthur came back home all bloody after fighting at school. “Hey. Look at me.”  The gangster sniffed and raised his steel blue eyes to his Aunt, his lips trembling and dimples appearing on his cheeks as he clenched his jaws. How right she was. Even when snorting a ridiculously huge amount of snow he didn’t feel better. In fact, his high had been insipid when compared with how you made him feel, blissed out and in pure ecstasy, when his lips crashed against yours. An unpleasant surge of electricity crossed his body at this thought as he remembered how his whole being yearned for you. “She’ll come back. I know she will, and you’ll make up for your idiocy. But let me warn you, boy. Witches usually don’t believe in second chances. If she gives you one, don’t ever fuck it all up anymore, or she’ll tear your bloody heart from your chest and smash it in front of your beseeching eyes. And you’ll consider yourself lucky if she only did it figuratively. ” At these murderous words, which felt like another stab, Arthur bit the inside of his cheek until he could taste blood on his tongue.

“I’ll do that.” He concluded, closing his hands in fists in a vain attempt to keep his temper quiet despite his spiraling thoughts. Thoughts that revolve around either you and how he would end his damn life if you ever left him. With a loud bang, a strong rope, or hell, his own razor blade, he didn’t care. Polly simply nodded and sat straight again as the other members of the clan entered the room one by one and took place, waiting for Tommy. At each footstep, Arthur raised his head with impatience, wishing it was you and internally screaming when he realized it wasn’t. HeavenHeavenHeavenHeaven… It never stopped, the thought of you compulsive and maddening. He cleared his throat and grunted nervously, his gaze glaring at an invisible dot on the wall that was facing him.

Tommy erupted in the room, a placid expression etched on his face as always, giving the impression he was in complete control of the situation. Was he? No one was truly sure about that. He stood fearlessly in front of the small crowd, far from being impressed by public speeches, and let his turquoise eyes wander on every face. Sometimes you wondered if Thomas Shelby would better drop the criminal life and start a political career. After all, he had all the required qualities: manipulative, sweet-talking, dishonest, and heartless. Tommy took one look at his brother’s face and quickly got a broad understanding of what had happened -- It wasn't particularly difficult though considering how Arthur belonged to the expressive kind. His eyes usually talked before he even opened his mouth. Yet he couldn’t help but wonder if it was his fault. If it was because of the... kiss, or his moment of confusion as he liked to call it. Yet, his sharp instincts knew that Arthur hadn’t been informed of this little event otherwise he would have certainly gone straight for his throat no matter the family blood running in their veins. Loyalty had its limits, and the limits bore your name. When he noticed your absence, Tommy discreetly clenched his sharp jaws for even if he loathed you, you had your place among the family for the meeting and the rest of them would probably not vote if you weren’t there. Nevermind, he thought. He had barely parted his lips when he heard the clicking sound of heels approaching and with the sound came your perfume. Just like Arthur, he immediately recognized the spring-like fragrances of your scent, especially now that he had buried his nose in your silvery mane.

Arthur’s heart made a leap in his tight ribcage as he saw you bathed in the warm light of the betting shop, dressed like the day you left the house except for your hair that was styled in two French braids cascading down the small of your back. He wanted to get up and embrace you, choke you in a hug, or fall on his knees to beg for forgiveness without minding the other people in the room but Polly’s strong hand squeezed his thigh to prevent him from doing so. Thus, all he did was just staring at you with pitiful and beseeching eyes. But you didn’t look at him. In truth, you didn’t look at anyone. Ignoring the burning sensation of Tommy’s turquoise iris following you, you passed by him and headed right to the free chair between Polly and Arthur. As soon as you sat next to him, he obliterated the world in favor of your heavenly presence as he usually did when you were around. The lanky gangster tried his chance and his fingers shyly searched for yours under the table. He was dying to feel your touch again, the coldness of your frosty skin being the only remedy to his troubled soul and broken mind. However, you denied him your affection by slightly shifting your hand away from him no matter how hard it was for you too. Your rejection stung him more painfully than a white-hot blade. Arthur bit the inside of his cheek harder but instead of making a scene or bursting with both rage and frustration, he tried his best to be a good boy and simply lowered his head as an unruly child who had just been scolded. His lonely hand rested on his thigh he nervously rubbed, desperately trying to chase away his sadness.

“John is dead.” Tommy exhaled loudly and made a short pause as if he was still processing the awful truth. John. Is. Dead. Your frail fingers fidgeted the fabric of your dress at Tommy’s statement, doing so only to avoid digging them into your own flesh and scratching it until you bleed. For a micro while, Tommy's self-confidence flickered, afflicted by his baby brother’s savage murder, before he regained composure and his eyes darkened again, “Esme’s back on the road with the Lees. She’s taken the kids. Michael is badly wounded, they say it’s 60/40 in his favor.”

“There’s no number, there’s no percentages” Polly cut him off, “So the hand, the hand beneath him stops his falling. Spoke to someone… My son will live.” It was more or less all you’ve heard of the conversation, for your mind soon drifted. As Tommy kept talking, your frozen eyes as glacial as Dante’s latest ring of Hell locked on your husband. Observing him with great attention, you tried to look for anything that would prove he was high. But despite a huge deal of effort, you didn’t see any grain of white powder near his nostrils. Arthur’s eyes weren’t dilated, his hands didn’t shake and his breathing was as soft as quiet. If anything, he looked awfully tired and miserable. To be honest, you could not help but think about how bad you missed him and how handsome he was in his suit even if your mood was still sour and resentful.

Arthur grunted, distracting himself from the pain by following the conversation and playing his henchman role. He took a golden bullet out of the pocket of his trousers and, holding it between his thumb and his index finger, looking at its shiny surface on which he had carved Luca’s name: “Yeah, Well… The bullet’s been written… It says Luca.” He paused, a glimpse of John’s face reflecting on the gold for half a second. “When the time comes and it will come… Me as the oldest brother —“ He swallowed again, John had disappeared, “Will put this bullet into his fucking head.” He concluded his speech by putting the said bullet on the table, the metallic sound echoed in the room and chilled you to the bones. Your eyes were still focusing on Arthur, but this time it was because you felt worried for him. Despite his rough and tough demeanor, the slight tremor in his voice and his need to take short pauses had betrayed his profound sorrow. You closed your fists on your dress because of how much you hated to see him in pain. All you wanted was to hold his arm and support him in these difficult times but you were certainly as pretty as stubborn.

“There’s been some bad blood between us.” While he had ignored you for most of his speech, Tommy’s intense gaze fell on you. Feeling the ice of his eyes burning you, you cocked an eyebrow. Was it a pathetic attempt to apologize? Or was he blaming you for it?

Bad blood… Polly scoffed. You snort. That was the least he could say.

It felt like an eternity before little King Shelby spoke again, not paying attention to his Aunt’s and your attitude. He looked at the ceiling, looking for his words then he went on, “Until this business is settled we stay together. We stay here…” To assert his claim, Tommy explained how the family would be safe as long as they stayed together, surrounded by an army of faces they already knew. His plan was simple: all the family remained together until they manage to kill Luca Changretta. Until then, no one was allowed to stray away from Small Heath. Arthur's first reaction following this suggestion was to turn his head towards you, looking with concern for far too well he knew you didn't wish to stay. A small sigh escaped from your plumped lips as you dived into his sad eyes, but you remained silent. Worst, you remained awfully placid and hated yourself for looking so much like Tommy for a short while. The rest bored you to hell and blurred into a mush of unintelligible bribes of conversation, except for the mention of Aberama Gold and Johnny Dogs’ complaints about the man. Savages he had said. The same word he had used the first time you met him. She's a freakin' savage, Arthur. An evil creature straight from the woods! Rolling your eyes, you bit your tongue to keep your mouth shut, and not scream at Dogs to tell him that Aberama Gold might be a savage but at least he took care of you these last few days better than any members of the Shelby clan did. At least not before interminable months of insults and death/suspicious stares. As the conversation went on, Polly put a glass of whisky in front of you but you pushed it away almost immediately -- you've been feeling nauseous since you left Watery Lane so drinking strong alcohol was the last thing you had in mind. Thus, you simply passed the glass to Arthur, who certainly needed it more than you.

“… Which means we have to agree to end this war between us.” Thomas Shelby might be addressing the whole family, but you knew his words were mainly aimed at you, which only made you move your foot impatiently under the table. Ending this war, of course, you thought. And what about the last two years of misery you’ve made me undergo each time we met? What about the moment you strangled me? And what about all the awful things you said after thrusting your tongue in my fucking mouth?  These would have been all the things you would have screamed at him if your legendary coldness had broken. Which, fortunately for everyone in the room, hadn’t.

Truthful to himself, Tommy asked for the family to vote.

“Peace.” Arthur finally decided, taking the glass and gulping down the amber liquid it contained in hope it would numb him. It didn’t. As surprising as it was to hear the oldest sibling choosing a non-violent approach to a conflict, you knew it was the best decision to make. So as everyone shared their opinion, you thought deeply about yours until your turn came. At first, you didn’t realize it was already your time to speak — only the sudden silence and the weight of a dozen eyes on you could snatch you from your mind. And among the pair of eyes, the one that burnt the fiercest was Tommy’s.  

“Now we’re asking for my opinion?” You said, sarcastic venom coating your words.

“Angel, please…” Arthur whispered, but you waved off his comment with a disdainful gesture of the hand. He currently wasn’t in the position to advise you. Not after hurting you like he did. 

“Truce.” You stated, coldly. The word left your mouth with the power of a guillotine’s blade on an inmate’s neck and surprised everyone in the room. In truth, they were all convinced you would disagree with the idea. Polly and Ada offered you a warm smile, while Tommy lowkey nodded in approval at your wise decision.

“Five for peace, two for truce.  Let’s get on with the war.” He concluded, turning around and walking out of the betting shop without one last glance at any of his family’s members: his scheming mind already focused on the next part of his plan.

As always, Tommy couldn't live without pulling the strings.

As the room cleared out and people left, you remained alone with Arthur in an uncomfortable silence. Because you had nothing to tell him, you got up from your chair and proceeded to walk to the exit without uttering a single word but the tall gangster caught you by the wrist, forcing you to stop. His long fingers closed around you a bit too bluntly than he intended though. You winced and as a result, he immediately let go of you, showing his palm open to indicate that he didn't mean to hurt you.

“Heaven, please." His gravelly voice called. "Enough with the cold treatment…  I can’t. It’s hurting me.” He said rather slowly, for putting words on his emotions was not something he was used to. Most of the time he just yelled and resorted to violence. , “I beg ye, go back home, angel.”

"You had promised me, Arthur." You articulated.

"And you had also promised me not to hurt yourself anymore." His gruff voice raised a little bit, threatening to turn into frustrated yellings because he didn’t know how to properly communicate his emotions, especially not when they were so obsessive and overwhelming. But Arthur didn’t want to scream at you so what he did was take a deep inhale to force himself not to be his usual loud and rude self. “You also promised to me, love.” He repeated in a calmer tone even if his quivering upper lip and twitching mustache showed how much he was struggling.

“So now we both understand how it feels when the other part of your soul breaks a promise. What a great step forward we’ve made.” That was mean. So mean you could barely believe that such an awful taunt came from your tantalizing mouth — but even though you instantly regretted it, you didn’t falter. No matter your mad love for Arthur and the untamable desire to throw yourself in his arms, you weren’t going to bend: things needed to be clear right now or they’ll never never be.

“I’m sorry, love. I’m fucking sorry alright?!" He growled, opening his arms as to silently ask you what he had to do for you to believe him. "I swear there isn’t a second during which I’m not regretting everything I did and said to you.” He finally admitted, long arms falling along his slim body, “I wasn’t meself even if I know this ain’t no excuse. I won't do it again. But…Please Heaven I can’t go on without you. And I don’t want to.” The only answer to his pleadings was a heavy silence combined with your frost-like gaze.

Arthur’s eyes lingered over your arm until they fell on the deep cut you had inflicted upon yourself. This is what it feels like when you take drugs. The powerlessness he had felt when he watched the blood running down your skin and soaking the fabric of your clothes was etched in his mind: he, who had promised to protect you against everything, realized he couldn’t save you from yourself if you chose to destroy you… And that powerlessness was the same you experienced when he egoistically relapsed. That was a harsh lesson, but a lesson he had learned.  “Please forgive me.” He begged and sucked in a sharp breath as if he was physically in pain, yet he still took your arm in his hand with indescribable softness and, with his free one, caressed your still swollen and red gash.

Your dainty body stood still, trying not to give in to the delightful sensation of his warm skin against yours but your heart sunk in your chest “You have to understand that you cannot act like a jerk, hurt me, treat me like shit and then come back with your puppy eyes, and beg for forgiveness. It doesn’t work like that." You said.

“So you're not coming back...” His voice broke, warm hand closing on your wound.

Your touch. I need it. It's a damn physical need.

“Don’t be stupid Arthur…” You sighed, the traits of your angelic face softening, “That’s not what I said."

"So please, love. Forgive me. I'll do whatever ye want. I'll get on my knees right now if that's what you want." His body shifted, closing the distance between the two of you until his arms wrapped around your waist. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach at the sight of his enchanting blue eyes, whose color was so different from his brothers. Slightly darker, far less colder. With your heart beating fast and your mind buzzing, you couldn't keep your fingers from gently grazing one of his cheeks. He half closed his eyelids at the sensation, the tremors of his body already calming down now that you were touching him.

"I don't want you to get on your knees. And I don't want to make a dog out of you like Linda did. All I ask for is my husband, who I know is a wonderfully strong man who doesn't need any chemicals to face the world. Not anymore." Your holy voice sounded like the purest melody in his ears like God's mercy whispered to him. Lulled by your words and strokes, Arthur would have purred if he wasn't already fighting against tears of relief.

"I've been such a fucking bastard... What the fuck is wrong with me eh? I still can't believe every mean thing I've screamed. The words I told ya, they're eating me sick brain." He gritted his teeth, "I don't fucking deserve you." Noticing that his breathing was getting faster, you wrapped his neck with your arms and lifted yourself on your tiptoes to lay a kiss on his chin.

"Stop it, Art. Don't beat yourself." You whispered in his ear, one hand lost in his perfectly slicked hair. "You want me to forgive you? Well; show me that all these promises you made weren’t empty. That our wedding can overcome everything, even the worst. Prove it to me." As you spoke, you softly rocked him from left to right, trying to calm his anxiety. A sigh escaped from your lips: you just couldn't abandon him as everyone else did. And part of you cursed him for making you feel so weak, especially when he was looking at you with his confused puppy eyes.

“I’ll show you then, angel. I’ll show you because without you birds don’t sing anymore.”  He nodded, softly rubbing his cheek against yours. You could feel his heart drumming against your bosom, crying for yours to open up to him again. “I'll show you I'm still a good husband." His lips trailed down your cheek to capture yours, but the moment he tried to kiss them you slightly turned your head to the other side to deny him access to your mouth. He clenched his jaws.

“Go find Thomas and organize the funerals with him." You simply instructed, taking a step back to free yourself from his arms. The lanky gangster nodded and left, head down and arms swinging as he walked away.

All you wished now was that he truly meant what he said.

All alone in the betting shop, you leaned against a wall and closed your eyes, needing a bit of peace to reorganize your thoughts and soothe your overwhelming emotions. Moreover, you had to come to terms with the idea of living near Tommy, here in Small Heath. It has been only weeks since you left your small house in the forest but you already missed it. Suddenly, you jumped at the feeling of two cold hands grasping you by the shoulders. When you reopened your eyelids, you were met by Polly’s motherly smile and dark gaze. Eyes so black it outmatched the bark of the most ancient trees you had ever seen. And just like these trees, they had something mystical, as if they were keeping the Earth's secrets and infinite wisdom. For sure, Elizabeth Gray was a woman of nature, born in the wilderness and raised among the soft whispers of the leaves. You even wonder if her body contained blood or if it was amber sap that was coursing through her veins.

“I’m happy you came back, white Devil.” She said with a soft smile. Since the day she heard Tommy spat the insult at your face, she decided to reverse the curse and use it as an affectionate nickname for you -- an idea you found absolutely delightful.

“I’m a Shelby now, everyone says so… So I suppose my place is here.” The melancholy of your grin betrayed your thoughts and Polly understood that only now you were starting to understand what bearing this family name truly meant. “I'm not gonna lie, Polly, I didn’t want to come. That’s Mr. Gold who convinced me I needed to. After hours of bargaining, he got me by telling me it would get under Tommy's skin.” 

“You call him Tommy now?” She teased, trying to make you smile but little she knew her remark had the opposite effect. You pursed your juicy lips and looked away.

“Something happened with him right.” The fierce Aunt frowned, observing your face as if she would be able to find an answer to her question hidden in your holy traits. Now sincerely concerned, her grip tightened on your shoulders, like benevolent roots anchoring you to reality. While she knew the difficult and rocky relationship you had with little King Shelby, she had never seen you display such a dreadful expression when his name was mentioned. 

“Something always happens with him anyway. But that’s not important.” You closed the topic, not wanting to talk about him any longer. The fucker had done enough to infect your brain, so you didn’t want to give him more space. "Do you think Johnny Dogs says the truth about the Gold? I mean, I'm not Romani but the Gold are nice to me and--"

"Heaven. Oh Lord." She cut you off, her smile swept away from her face so quickly you blinked several times.

"What's the matter, Pol?" You asked, eyebrows frowned.

Freeing your shoulders, her left hand grabbed one of your breasts to squeeze it softly while the right one felt your abdomen at different places, looking for something you didn't know. The more she touched you, the more her facial expression seemed concerned. Completely taken aback by her sudden behavior, your lips parted in surprise as you watched her.

"Does Arthur know it?!" She inquired, her dark eyes switching between you and your tummy.

“Does Arthur know what?"

“That you’re pregnant.”

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

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