#and other things i dont feel talking about here

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Aight aight we gotta talk. Get a snack, cause this is kind of a rant.

NOT SPOILER FREE!

Like I said before, things were really busy yesterday so while I did pull Zayne's card, I didn't actually get around to watching it until now. Prior to watching this I saw a lot of negativity surrounding discussions of this memory, Absolute Zeal. Lots of people complaining that they had problems with them "pretending to be strangers" and that the morning after felt like a "one night stand".

Allow me to offer some of my thoughts on this. Again, these are purely my thoughts on this memory, and if anyone didn't know, Zayne is my main so lemme have my moment to defend this card.

The only glaringly obvious problem I had with this one was the fact that MC intentionally let Zayne consume alcohol knowing he avoids it. Now to me, if someone says they dont eat/drink a certain thing, I go out of my way to make sure they don't end up consuming it. And she did it because why? She got flustered that Zayne admitted to having deep feelings for her and she got embarrassed? Not good enough and lazy writing imo.

Complaints about them pretending to be strangers. Imo, couples pretending to strangers sometimes is not new. MC was just trying to get him to admit something deeper beyond his normal care for her, and it looks like she got more than she asked for with him admitting that the thought of life without her would be the definition of true loneliness. Now moving on to the aftermath.

We know Zayne is a lightweight. It's no surprise that he got tipsy. And once MC sees what happened to him, it does look like she regretted her actions and obviously tries to comfort him through this process. Btw, I thought tipsy Zayne was adorable, the way the VA was slurring his words was really cute. MC keeps insisting on giving Zayne hangover pills which he refuses and he keeps trying to initiate things with her, and she does do a decent job warding off his attention at the beginning because he's drunk.

Now here's where a lot of the discussions I read seem to baffle me. A lot of people seem to be equating Zayne's advances on MC as almost grapey. Like how drunk men take advantage of women then try to excuse their behavior because they had been drinking. I simply didn't get this vibe here? MC and Zayne have established a lot together and I genuinely feel that MC would have firmly said no if she wasn't feeling it and Zayne would have listened to her.

Secondly, MC doesn't seem to know that Zayne loses control of his evol when inebriated. Granted, there doesn't seem to be a set of fixed criteria for this to happen, so it was a coin toss imo. But when she does see it happening, she realizes her mistake and is so soft with him, reassuring him that she loves him and that he doesn't need to change anything about himself. People seemed to almost blame her saying she did this for the sake of fun and she wanted him to lose control? Maybe she did but not in this way.

Zayne on the other hand seemed almost insecure when drunk, perhaps because he knows how in control he is and he may have felt a surprising sense of freedom when he saw how he was? Basically put, he wasn't aware of how the alcohol would affect him and perhaps he saw himself as more easygoing in that moment? There's going to be insecurity and vulnerability in relationships, especially long term ones. Like geez, give the guy a break. Things like this happen, it's natural to be awkward when you're stepping out of your comfort zone.

To him, he feels like he's breaking rules like drinking alcohol and being uncharacteristically dominating over MC, but maybe alongside that confusion there's also a rush of excitement that he could be this person? There's a lot happening, and I can appreciate his struggle in not knowing how to process this.

Now the other thing that people seem to be complaining about; something about Zayne and MC being shy around each other the morning after and acting like they had a one night stand instead of being a couple that's been together for some time. Couples can still feel awkwardness with each other no matter how long they've been together if they do something that is new or out of the norm for them.

As someone that's been married for a significant amount of time, I'd like to say that due to reasons, my husband doesn't drink either, and I drink very sparingly. If he had done something very out of character regarding sex, I think both of us would have been shy while we have the discussion afterwards. It's not out of character.

And both of them needed to get his car back from the hospital and return to work. They found reassurance in their relationship being there for them despite them being busy. Because at the end of the day, people can go for hours without talking while at work (speaking from personal experience here) and also be perfect cuddlebugs when you're both back at home.

Zayne here gets the affirmation that MC always loves him despite his controlled, slightly colder presentation, and MC gets to see that Zayne is willing to anything for her, even be drunk and be this alternate version of himself of that's what makes her happy.

I didn't see anything in this card that made me hate it or even think it wasn't hot. It was INCREDIBLY spicy, especially him saying things spiral out of control when she's around. It's said in such a ragged way, like he's almost in awe of what he's willing to do for her. In the end, it feels like they didn't quite have sex but there was definitely an intense makeout session and some wandering hands for sure. Which I feel would be more in character for them not wanting to take advantage of his drunkeness.

People saying Zayne will never initiate something hot like this again because he was only doing it while drunk? Zayne does initiate, it's just more subtle than this. And now that he's seen that MC isn't opposed to being a little manhandled, he might do it again perfectly sober. A lot of his control comes from his insecurity of imagining how life would be without her.

So to people hating on this card, I almost feel like you're being critical of the fact that Zayne and MC seem to be the most "married". Marriage and even long term relationships have partners go through bouts of doubt and insecurity but that in no way reflects the depth of the relationship.

There. End rant. Sorry for unloading so much on New Years. Have an awesome day my lovelies!

[taelophone]

Luigi M; A Look ⋆˙⟡ — A Luigi Mangione Analysis ⋆⭒˚｡⋆. A/N: I am not claiming to know or understand him as a person lol. I simply wanna do a lil surface dive on him as a person to try and shed some light on what I think he's like!

Please note; All links are tweets Luigi himself has reposted, or are things from his mouth that he has typed. VIA Reddit, twitter, etc etc. All retweets will be marked with *

⟡ Luigi as a person (good, and bad)

⋆ After many many hours of scouring this man’s socials and any sort of archive of him I can find, I’ve gathered a handful of interpretations and ideas as to what Luigi was like prior to his surgery. And I say that last part specifically because he showed a v drastic change directly after his surgery, and literally went M.I.A.

Luigi is a very empathetic and intelligent man, this is a surface level fact that we can all agree on. He’s been shown to go out of his way for other people even when he doesn’t have to. But please don’t let that fool you this man is a KEYBOARD. WARRIOR.

⋆ He LIVES for the debate. In fact, he fucking loves debating. I wouldn’t go as far as saying he loves arguing, but if there’s a point being made and he feels strongly about it, he will type pages upon pages of text explaining in great detail exactly why you are wrong.

He’s said time and time before in a retweeted post that freethinking* is a very important part of life, and here’s where I say he’s…a bit of a hypocrite. His love for debate kind of keeps him from seeing another person’s POV, which makes for a hell of a storm when disagreeing with him. In short, he’s stubborn. A very stubborn man, but he is open to hearing the other person out versus not listening to them at all.

And I have a strong feeling his stubborn demeanor coincides with the fact that he knows he’s smart. Don’t get me wrong, he seems like he usually knows what he’s talking about, but that’s the problem. If you tell him about something that’s been bothering you or going wrong in your life, he will spit out 99 solutions for you. He’s the kind of guy where he will probably resort to both comfort AND unsolicited advice, although its likely he got better at the latter later down the line.

⋆ Shying away from him being stubborn, there’s another key part of this man that I DONT SEE BEING TALKED ABOUT ENOUGHHH OMG. SASSY MAN. SASSY SASSY SAASSSSYY MAN.

You can expect shade, eye rolls, silent treatment, head shakes, and possibly even a snarky comment from him. He’s all about becoming a better person and stuck on self betterment, but he is not afraid to show his visible disdain for something. He has very dry and unexpected humor, but he doesn’t realize it. He’s funny in a way where he doesn’t mean to be.

But when he’s trying to make a joke? Oh god help me he’s so so so cheesy and so corny that it makes you just wanna curl up and die (but no seriously, he’s so corny that it’s funny). His sense of humor is so cheesy, think old vine and 2018 humor.

⋆ Another key part about him is his love for travel, and being a “geek” by nature! This man loooooovesss his Pokemon, let me tell you. Was in a whole subreddit dedicated to Pokemon go, word committed for half a page about backpacking essentials, and was almost always posted up somewhere that wasn’t his house. I can’t say he’s the type for spontaneous trips, as the only time he has been known to take was during the beginning of his breakdown.

Because of this, I feel like he’s more likely to be a marvel and MCU fan. He also read a couple of the Harry Potter books, and we can assume that he liked the series enough to rate them 5/5s lol

⟡ My takeaways. Deeper analysis

⋆ Luigi gives me massive INTJ vibes. Contrary to popular belief, I feel he’s more introverted rather than extroverted. He’s expressed clear comfort in solitude, and aligns perfectly with the personality category.

INTJ description;

“INNOVATIVE,INDEPENDENT, STRATEGIC, LOGICAL, RESERVED, INSIGHTFUL. DRIVEN BY THEIR OWN ORIGINAL IDEAS TO ACHIEVE IMPROVEMENTS.”

However, I could see him being an ISTP, who are characterized as

“ACTION-ORIENTED, LOGICAL, ANALYTICAL, SPONTNEOUS, RESERVED, INDEPENDENT. ENJOY ADVENTURE, SKILLED AT UNDERSTANDING THINGS.”

⋆ He’s a very big geek! More than likely has a soft spot for nostalgia content or things that remind him of childhood. We can expect him to be into things like Ben10, Cartoon Network, old Nickelodeon, and other shows such as The Office, Law & Order, true crime, and philosophy content!

⋆ Expect him to be a giving lover. Would absolutely love words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service. He’d be more than willing to give you gifts and shower you in lavishes, but it’s not his main love language as he believes love goes beyond materialism and who can spend the most on who. Handmade gifts are a go! Expect 3D printed trinkets, pictures, cards, etc etc.

⋆ Absolute communication god. He’s stubborn, but he’s not stubborn enough to not tell you when something is wrong. It’s just not his speed and he thinks it’s pointless to not tell someone, especially your partner, when he’s upset or what’s got him in a bad mood. He also expects this same behavior from you as well. The whole “I don’t wanna tell you what’s wrong” shindig would annoy the FUCK out of him. FAST.

⋆ He doesn’t give possessive or jealous lover type ngl. Growing up with two sisters and being absolutely showered in female companionship, he understands how that could possibly make you feel and doesn’t even blame you for it. As a result, he’d be extremely understanding if you were friends with men.

⋆ Please don’t ever get in an argument with this man lmfao. That is one battle you cannot and WILL NOT win. If it’s petty and a matter of “I didn’t say so and so,” he WILL show up with receipts. Would very much start busting out his big boy words just to confuse you. Catch him throwing old English into the mix. But if it’s a legitimate argument, and you have a reason to be upset, he will apologize before it can even get off track.

⟡ Luigi’s Brain

⋆ Alright kids here’s where we get a little controversial. What’s going on in Luigi’s mind?

I just wanna start this section off by saying I am not a licensed psychologist, nor do I major in psychology. I have no ties to this topic whatsoever, and am just speaking from what I’ve seen in myself, and what I’ve seen in him.

Neurodivergence. Luigi has a habit of exuding very neurodiverse behavioral patterns that I could tie to one of two things. Autism, or OCD.

⋆ Luigi openly expressed a lot about his wills and wants on his various social media platforms, and one thing I’ve noticed is his strong need or drive for self-improvement. Please don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly important to want to improve yourself and that is a perfectly healthy goal to have. However, Luigi’s drive for self-improvement and ‘getting better’ had a direct impact on his relationships, lifestyle, and more. This is likely what influenced his 6 month period of self-isolation and cutting off his family members.

Perfectionism “type” OCD is a branch of the umbrella term of OCD in which can be identified by repetitive behaviors, such as excessive exercise, something he continued to engage in even with a bad back, insistence on specific routines or ways to do things to achieve perfection, and occasionally rigid and inflexible thinking patterns, as I described him being likely to have above.

not everyone experiences OCD the same way, and me and Luigi are obviously going to experience it differently considering we are two completely different individuals. As someone with perfectionism OCD, I am just calling what I see in my eyes.

⋆ I saw someone make the argument a while back that Luigi could possibly be a narcissist, and while I don't necessarily deny that he can come off as pompous in some of his tweets, I do not think this is the case.

For Luigi to be a narcissist means that he wouldn't be able to make meaningful connections with people around him. Every person that has met or come into contact with Luigi only had good things to say, but I'd like to focus on his...straightforward or out-of-touch* tweets.

Luigi is a no-nonsense man. He's very left-brained and thinks as such, literally. He demonstrates a tendency to solve and think and plow through anything he registers as a problem. Have you ever asked "well, why can't we just print more money?" when told about the cash crisis? That's exactly whats going on in this tweet.

His first instinct when faced with the topic of Japan's birth rate is to try and solve it. Luigi may be hyperfixated on stats and data, which would clarify why he allegedly word-vomited to the hoes about birth rate data. He's not trying to come off as rude or ignorant, and frankly, I don't really think his tweet is that crazy either, he just might not know that this isn't something considered a social topic.

I feel like we're ignoring a lot of his more out-of-touch* (re)tweets, though. Scrolling through Luigi's page, I can understand what he's trying to get at, though lol. He's made it very clear that he's an intense supporter of complete equality*, he doesn't want anybody to be undermined in their contributions to society. Regardless of gender, sexual identity, race, etc. But again, he's thinking so literally and has trouble effectively communicating that in a way that is "neurotypical." This paired with the way he word vomits, and just his overall typing style and cadence, It just feels like he may be on the spectrum!

I do not have a link for this as his Reddit account was fucking obliterated, BUT, I do remember it being rumored that Luigi was apart of several neurodivergent support groups and subreddits!

I hope I helped humanize him a bit more for you guys! Lmk what you think of this little summary as it’s my first time doing something like this EVER lmfao😭

[thekingnerd]

I was looking at it from an ethical standpoint, trying to think of it from the view of someone who is neither system or suffering from psychosis, trying to find the view of a completely neurotypical person.

I know that the difference between a system and a delusion is that "one is real"

But how could a layperson, just looking at someone who thinks they are a system and acts like one (for a lack of better terms) tell which is which without heavy psychological training or medical equipment for brain scanning?

Even more so, let's say someone has a delusion they are a system. They act like a system, feel like they are one, appear to switch on occasion and believe they are now someone else.

Then, we also have a "real" system. They act like a system (because they are one), they appear to switch on occasion (unless they are very good at masking) and believe they are now someone else (because they are.)

From the outside, they appear the same. Online, you'd probably never be able to tell the difference. The one with delusions isn't harming anyone, and they even have the "symptoms" of being a system, even if they are just deluded into thinking they do.

The whole thing is in your head, regardless of origin. Point here is that we are in similar boats: The singlets generally think we are insane and dont care if we have trauma or not.

As for terms: WE WERE ORIGINALLY LUMPED IN WITH DISORDERED SYSTEMS

We left that spot, separated ourselves further by using the new term endogenic, to show that we were, in fact, not the same. Traumagenic, as in born from trauma, separate from Endogenic, born from "inner", as is the direct meaning of endo, but more accurately would be said as born from inside. We then made our own tags, that specifically were welcoming to all, the plural tags, then the antis came in and started yelling at us for invading system spaces. We've even started using plural about as much as system, it's a process to fully convert, but even then, system is the term that psychology used for us before we left the medical area. Yes, endogenic is used as an opposite to traumagenic. It's because we are different. We are not medical or disordered, while traumagenic is medical and disordered. How much fucking farther must we go for you to be happy? We already left your space, made our own, made our own terms to use, and we STILL welcome those different from us! We aren't hurting you at all by existing in our spaces, specifically having to keep reminding people that we don't have a disorder and we don't know exactly why this happened. I have seen so many antis come over to our side and enjoyed just how positive and helpful it is! They don't stress about if they are faking anymore!

As for breaking dni, I'm not sorry. You are in syscourse, and specifically mentioned me. If you have a problem with me, you damn well bring it up to my face, you cowardly wretch. I don't give a damn that you don't think I exist. I have found MANY antis I enjoy talking to because we can have a nice conversation. You? You were an asshole, and you made Two cry. That's why you get me. Most other people get a pleasant response looking for happy polite debate, but you? Oh no, no no no. You, Mr. Fuckwad, don't even have the proverbial BALLS to actually confront someone you dislike on the internet. Here, on Tumblr, we are all equal. Nobody has clout here, nobody has the other in a battle of strength. If you have an issue with anything I said here, you reblog this. Actually fucking tell me. If you don't like my attitude here, be polite. Maybe even apologize to Two. He's very forgiving. But anyways, air your grievances ACTUALLY TO US, not just whining to someone else. Complaining is only useful when done to elicit a change in that which you don't like, but you won't get it from talking behind someone's back.

I’m not one for syscourse but this is a genuine question I have, anti-endos claim that systems can only be borne from trauma but what about things like psychosis?? What if someone was suffering from delusions or something similar?? Idk about you all but because of what LITTLE we know about our brains (and to quote my therapist “brains are weird sometimes”), doesn’t having a system be potentially borne of delusions or something of the like seem plausible?? Idk maybe there’s a different term for that entirely I just don’t know if it.

[stiffyck]

I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS

[felassan]

.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[floatingseaotter]

The Worst Day Ever

or It's My Party

Song - Dream by Priscilla Ahn

"...at length" count - 59

Part I: Carlotta

REAL! This truly is the worst day ever and me reading the entirety of the beginning of this chapter is quite literally *grumble grumble grumble*

"I think it's going to be a good year for you, lily."

- Yeah girl we just gotta suffer first😭

ARGGGGGGHHHH Carlotta!!!! Sirius is so real like Carlotta really has not done anything wrong (except betray Shelley to a degree) but I'm sorry I cannot stand it and her!!!

"Not really," said James. "Most of our mystique, I hear, is just smoke and mirrors."

- a Lily quote right?

CALRLOTTA LEAVE HIM ALONE! She's desperate to go with him to the prefect meeting it's making me mad but it's okay Sirius once again saving me from this plight of reading Carlotta x James😌😌😌

Lily noticing them my heart my heart my heart my heart

Then, as Lily located her bag, her eyes flickered towards James and Carlotta and, for the shortest of seconds, Carlotta thought she noticed Lily's eyebrows lift infinitesimally. Everyone else noticed, too. "We're dating," James blurted out suddenly, and Carlotta—who was not the blushing type—felt the heat rise in her face. There was about half a second of awkwardness, and then Lily smiled brightly. "Cool." With that, the Head Girl started to rummage about in her bag for her badge. Everyone, including the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, stared at her.

-- I HATE IT!! I am fairly sure she cries right? i am imagining her wiping a tear later? This was so unbelievably unfair by James especially in the way that they are all just watching her for a reaction, cannot bare it! at all!!!

The rest of the dorm is so behind Shelleyyyyy! I forgot about her make-over but I feel like there is an underlying plot here that I either never learned or just can't remember? Like specifically with the potion...

Remus sticking with Lily <3<3<3

Not Sirius not knowing who Shelley was; a violation lmao😭

Suspiciously: "Why do you need Lily?" "Well... I don't know," Carlotta had to admit. "I just... I needed her advice on something. Can I talk to you?" "Why on Earth would you suspect that's a good idea?"

-- EXACTLY Marlene! I think that's what bugs me so much about Carlotta's character is that she is so dense and it's so frustrating!!

"No," sighed Carlotta. "It's not that kind of problem. It's... I... I keep having these strange thoughts..." I knew it! You're a lesbian!" "Marlene!"

- AHHAAHAH what marlene😭

Who is the random child with the new DADA teacher—with the inoffensive ponytail and goatee (which sounds like a contradiction to me but whatever)—because I have absolutely zero recollection of this or who they are?😭

THE THERAPIST!! YES THEY BROUGHT IN THE COUNSELLOR AND LILY AND JAMES HAVE THE JOINT MEETING DON'T THEY! But i dont think we ever actually see that chapter i don't think?

Every time Sirius sasses Carlotta a confetti cannon goes off and a baby smiles<3

OMG SHELLEY KISSED MARY'S BOYFRIEND! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! What if the magic potion she was taking was like infused with some mystically love potion thing? Also Mary upholding Reg's statement that boys can be slags too!!! Where is my mannn

  "...AND WITH THAT FAT, UGLY POCKMARKED BINT!"

- the insults in this remind me of Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging. "She's just a big fat minging minger with huge knickers and a ginormous schnozzle!"

Mary Macdonald essentially: Shelley Mumps is a lad nabbing letch who can't keep her slutty minx hands off of other peoples boyfriends!

Mary was so happy with Stebbins in the summer too, so sad :(

Not Mary revealing Shelley's evil master plan!! A masterplan I fully forgot about (shocking i know) and 😭

"What plan?" "I don't know," said Mary. "I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out, though. You taught her everything she knows, right?"

- OOOOFT

There is a lot of infidelity in this fic, huh?

Carlotta x Frank

Shelley x Stebbins

Donna x Charlie

...Admittedly, sometimes i think its quite a good plot point so i am not complaining as long as it suits me! Sue me!!

Mary suggested going to the Raveclaw dormitories and tear Stebbins limb from limb, but Marlene didn't want to go to prison.

- aahahahahahaahha

It's funny having so little Lily so far!

Without knocking, Carlotta opened the door to the Head Boy's dormitory. James knelt on the floor, already in his night clothes, as he fumbled through his trunk for something. He looked up upon Carlotta's entrance and smiled, but there was something—something just not right in his expression.

-- WHAT HAPPENED I MUST KNOW—I say as if I am not fully aware that he and Lily did not miraculously end up together and all is well but whatever I actually have no idea.

Truthfully, James was Head Boy now, and it was not of Shelley that Carlotta was afraid.

- so she leaped from the gallows and levitated down her street, crashed the party like a record scratch as she screamed, WHOS AFRAID OF LILYYYYYY EVANS ...you should be

Part II: Mary

To be in love, even superficially, on the first day of school, is a wonderful thing indeed.

- aww Mary

Obsessed with Mary and Sabrina Barbery just updating each other on all of the gossip.

OMG YES! Bridget at Hogwarts and protective Donna!

Lily is sullen. Did she see James and Carlotta kiss on the platform? hm... She must have because she doesn't seem surprised when Mary tells her.

"It's still strange," said Marlene; she seemed the most perturbed by the matter, and she kept looking at Lily. Even Mary had to find it a bit odd that Lily's reaction was non-existent. Whether or not Lily had ever reciprocated any of James's feelings for her—and Mary could never decide what she believed on that matter—she ought to have some opinion.

- So sad :(

Shelley's potion is definitely suspicious!

Donna on what she did over the summer: "...and ordered around a well-respected auror." Yeah you did! Lathe mention!!!!🚨

At least they are all worried about Shelley too... I don't believe we ever got to see the end of this plot point?

IS MARY PREGNANT—i say this because she was dizzy and there was a curious "or for some other reason" as to why she was dizzy and as someone who enjoys a good pregnancy trope... that is where my mind always jumps too okay!

Part III: Donna

Donna is so protective of Bridget<3

Please do not tell me Lily was waiting for James because that would crush my spirit to smithereens. —She was waiting for James.

"Alright, Donna?" said Marlene. "It's been—what? All of a week? How was your last day at the pub?" "Fine." Marlene smiled slyly. "Anyone interesting drop by?" Donna glared; "You've been talking to Black." "Whatever do you mean?" "Oh, shut up." Marlene looked smug.

- LATHE LATHE LATHE LATHE LATHE

Charlie is threatening Bridget! Oh dear. RAT MAN!!

She was wondering what Bridget was doing just then... she'd joined Millie Bones in a compartment. Could Millie Bones be trusted? Kingsley evidently thought her a fit companion for their younger sister, but Donna had not verified this. Millie Bones could be a corrupting influence. She could (and probably did) mean trouble. This Millie Bones character had to be stopped.

- hahahahaaha Millie Bones public enemy no.1

Adam distracted by Marlene, as all things should be.

Donna worrying so much about Bridget is obviously so sad because it's rooted in her overthinking after her parents death but the fact that she has beef with Millie Bones and Dromio Prewett (a Little Boy™️) is so funny to read.

Aw Donna apologising to Cassidy!

"Well I've never heard of you feeling guilty over anything," the food trolley lady spoke up again. "Right?" "Once again, no one asked y—how would you even know?"

- HAHAH not the food trolley lady piping up; she's in on all the gossip its giving Dorota from Gossip Girl.

Did you two fall in love?" teased Adam. "Working all those late shifts in the romantic lighting..." "Shut up." "You're blushing." "I am not." "You are! Wait... Shack... did you really fall for Black?" "Don't be thick. I do not fancy Sirius Black." Adam considered her carefully. "But you do fancy someone?" "Fuck off, I don't." "Liar. It's not that Charlie Plex bloke, is it?" Donna glared at him. "I guess not. Who is it? Why all the secrecy? Is he married?"

- JACKLEBOLT JACKLEBOLT JACKLEBOLT JACKLEBOLT

Oh was Adam wondering if Marlene maybe had a thing with one of the Marauders over the summer?

Donna putting creepy Charlie Plex in his place!

Lily looking paler than usual and James looking off... what occurred?

Part IV: Marlene

Marlene feeling like everybody is a sexy baby and she's a monster on a hill :(

"Well, she does," Marlene insisted. "Anyway, it was... kind of frightening." "The wedding?" "No, the protest." "What protest?" "Did I not mention the protest yet?" Adam began to laugh. "Marlene, I have no idea what you're talking about."

- Aw Marleneeeeee my girl! They are so cute I am so sad!! also why didn't Adam's sister tell him about the protest lmao

"... I meant more like..." They began to walk again, "We both love. him... differently. You're like a sister to him!" And only one thought registered for Marlene in response to that: I am an awful sister.

- HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Knew what a prostitute was when you were eight, did you?

- Marlene skskskskks

I LOVE Marlene's growth from first day of sixth year to first day of seventh year!

WAS SHELLEY ALSO IN LOO WITH STEBBINS nah it was a random Hufflepuff lmao

Lily sitting by herself in the prefect carriage she is so sad😭

There was something dull and uninterested in Lily's voice, however, that prompted Marlene to ask: "Are you feeling quite well? You seem a little... off."

- and contemplative 😭 like novembermy girl! I am not ready for her POV. Though i think I remember the Marauders minus James all meet her in the Prefect carriage :(

"What did I do, Lily?" she muttered, sniffing. "Why didn't I just...? Why couldn't I...?" "You weren't ready," said Lily. "It's not your fault." "It is though. I was so stupid..." "No, you weren't. You were just getting out of one really complicated, really intense relationship, and you weren't ready to jump into another one. That's not your fault. None of this is your fault."

- the way they are both in the same boat and Lily is comforting Marlene without Marlene knowing yet that they are going through the exact same thing! My heart!!!

"You know it's going to be okay, don't you?" Lily asked softly after a while. Marlene looked skeptical. "It is," insisted the redhead. "Prudence may be cute and sweet... she might be Dear Prudence, but you're... you're..." Lily smiled: "You're Here Comes the Sun."

- this is genuinely such a sweet comment I love friendship. Also, Marlene is right that must be one of the nicest things anyone could say to you🥹 Lily as Golden Slumbers—I see it.

Ahhhh Adam did know about the protest he was just a dummy.

They both grinned, and Marlene, momentarily, forgot that it was not—and never again would be—like it had been once upon a time.

- girl it is okay dont be so dramatic! matters of the hear just require time!!!

Part V: Lily

Here we go... i am not ready!

She is fumbling and i am so sad for her!!!

Before he left, Sirius draped an arm around Lily's shoulder and leaned close to her, muttering so that none of the others could hear: "Evans, I think you and I have some catching up to do." "Damn right we do," Lily could not help but retort. He raised his eyebrows and then departed with Peter.

-- Sirius and Lily's friendship deserves all the flowers in the world. I love them so dearly.

Side note: i just remembered Lily did Alice's flowers at her wedding and it was such a sweet callback to Lily always being good at flowers🥹

James Potter too right your amusement should be nervous!! And too right Lily should speak coldly toward you!!

Lily smiled politely, rather than quipping in reply. James evidently sensed something must be amiss by her lack of bantering retort, and so he offered to help her carry her things—which consisted of her sling purse and a book—and, for a moment, Lily felt incredibly trapped. "I'll do it," Remus volunteered suddenly. "I'm sure you want to get back to the compartment." Lily did not think she'd ever appreciated Remus more than in that moment.

-- The Marauders sans James all rallying around Lily makes my heart BURST!!

I swear I am not making up a scene where they meet her in her dormitory or something and then Sirius jokes about them figuring out how to get into the girls dorms in second year or something and they hug? right?

"Do we get our own Common Room?" "What?" "Our own Common Room." Lily frowned. "No. Where on earth did you get that idea?" "I don't know," admitted James. "I feel like I read it somewhere."

- James has been reading them fanfics fr

"Is something bothering you?" asked James suddenly. Merlin and Agrippa, what do you think? "Nope."

- He's only 17 he doesn't know anything, does he?

"You're an idiot." "What?" "I said 'you're an idiot.'" "I heard what you said! Why am I an idiot?" Lily did not think she had it in her to answer, however. She merely shook her head in disbelief and continued down the corridor. "Evans! C'mon don't..." James caught up with her, pulling her to a stop. When he did not immediately remove his hand from her arm, she glared, and he withdrew it at once. "Why are you...?" And then it was all too much. We're dating. They're kind of perfect for each other. Just close enough to... "Why didn't you tell me you were dating Carlotta?" Lily snapped, before she could help herself. James dropped his gaze. "I-I didn't... it didn't come up." "It didn't come up?" (This, practically shouted), "Really? Because I have this weird memory of sitting in an office with you and asking how your trip went, and you just said 'fine,' and then you got all snippy with me, like you always do when you're hiding something, and oh-my-Merlin, how could I be so stupid?" It began to make sense, "I thought it was just the Head Boy thing, but... Agrippa's sake, that was what Sirius was trying to get you to tell me, too, wasn't it? And Sam... 'the ginger but not the girl...' I am such an idiot! How did I not realise?" "You're not an idiot, I just..."

The entire room had lit up upon her entrance, and yet none of these details had any effect upon Lily. She barely saw them, for suddenly her eyes were blurred by tears. Her breathing grew heavy and staggered. She fell back against the closed door and pushed her hair away from her face, forcibly attempting to fend off the attack of panic that quickened her heart and made her head spin. No good at all.

-- Oh Lily😭😭😭😭😭

me reading Shelley and Carlotta—then Lily—screaming at each other in the dorm, like damn lmao. Get 'em Lily!! My queen!!! she was really like ...AND FURTHERMORE!

"The both of you need to get your acts together right now! I am done caring if Carlotta is seeing the bloke that you fancy, Shelley, or if Shelley is trying to sit on your boyfriend's lap, Carlotta. Whatever. But all of this whore-calling, and shouting, and making this dormitory miserable, and... and... snogging my friend's boyfriend to prove a point to each other—all of that ends now! AND..." she spoke over two attempts to interrupt, "before either of you say that this is none of my business, I am going to spare you the risk of getting hexed out that window: this is my business, because I'm supposed to have my own room tonight, and yet now, I get to spend the evening agreeing to repetitive statements about what a git Stebbins is! And, also, because the two of you are insults to the very word 'friendship' with how you're behaving! And, also, because I'm Head Girl, and there's NO SHOUTING ALLOWED IN THE DORMITORIES!" She finished her speech. Shelley and Carlotta did not speak. At some point—and Lily had no idea when—Donna had entered the dormitory from the bath, dripping wet from her shower and clothed in a bathrobe. She looked from Lily to the other two, amber eyes wide with wonder.

- I really could not not include at least a wee snippet off that speech because it was far too good. Donna's reaction is too good too, i love it.

A few minutes later, Carlotta went up to bed (in the Head Boy's dormitory—Lily decided not to think about it)

- real

Ah not the twelve hours earlier talking about today going to be a good day :(

For a moment—only a few seconds—Lily observed the two Marauders. The warm morning light caught the Head Boy badge pinned to James's t-shirt, as well as the amused glint in his hazel eyes. He ran one hand through his hair, shaking his head, and replied to some remark from Sirius with a few words of self-aware cleverness that made Sirius laugh out loud. When Sirius gave another reply, James listened, a crease forming between his eyes in subtle interest, one hand idly rubbing his jaw line. Lily's mind leapt to an evening, not long ago, when she had stood close enough to fill the space and then some that currently existed between the two Marauders-close enough to feel James's breath, close enough to kiss him, if only she had let herself stop thinking a minute or two... And then, for a moment—only a few seconds—Lily's breath caught in her throat, and she realised something. She realised that her stomach was doing back-flips. She realized that a little piece of her ached to be standing close to the Head Boy. She realised she hadn't been breathing for several moments. Lily realised she would very much like to kiss James Potter just then. It was a moment—only a few seconds—of clarity: a realisation that was immediately surprising and then quite obvious. Right there, right then, she wanted nothing more than to kiss James. It wasn't alcohol speaking; it wasn't just hormones; there could be no more excuses. She liked James Potter. She really, really liked James Potter. Lily realised this... for a few clear, hopeful, comforting seconds, Lily realised exactly what she wanted, and it was the first time she had really known this for a very long time. She felt a glow of enlightenment, as one often does when they arrive late at self-revelation—when they finally have a grip on what, exactly, would make them truly, ridiculously ecstatic at that instant in time. And what a thing to discover, that it should be James Potter... James Potter, who had liked her once before, and might like her again, if given encouragement... For a moment—only about nine and a half thrilling, wonderful seconds—Lily was happy. People hurried past her, shouting and talking but mute; the train revved and roared, but silently; her heart pounded, the heat rose in her face. This was going to be a good year. Then, into the frame of her sight which had now narrowed and centered on James Potter, a new figure entered. Brunette and lovely and flawless, Carlotta Meloni appeared. She wrapped her thin, sun- kissed arms around James's neck and kissed him on the lips. And James kissed Carlotta back. And someone walked by to punch Lily in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her for a full six seconds. Or if they didn't, they might as well have.

-- PAINNNNNNNNNNN I hate it here!

What a chapter though!!

I have also realised that James and Lily were just pale and of because of their argument? I need more from James on this because all we saw was his conversation with Carlotta... But damn.

I am re-reading The Life and Times

And it is getting documented. Purely for my own benefit.

The Life and Times by Jewels5

She was dramatic. He was dynamic. She was precise. He was impulsive. He was James, and she was Lily, and one day they shared a kiss, but before that they shared many arguments, for he was cocky, and she was sweet, and matters of the heart require time.

[evelynpr]

Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.

I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.

I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.

Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.

Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"

But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.

Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.

Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?

Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?

"What happened...to us?"

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i really like all the content that comes from this so im not saying everyone shouldnt headcanon this, but i find it funny how many people misinterpret "saiki cant read nendos mind" as "saiki cant use his powers on nendo"

reminder that the point is that he CAN read his mind, nendo just doesnt think a lot 😭

[nyatbinary-81]

HONORED to be in a fav tag @spiderh0rse. heres elaboration for you <3

so! eggman and shadow! methinks shadow ends up with the other robotniks bc theyre a source of familiarity in this large, terrifying world. GUN is semi okay with this bc that means most of the people connected to the ark are in one place and therefore easier to keep track of. unfortunately, eggmans already canon feelings of being bypassed/seen as a poor replacement for maria are only amplified by having her former best friend as one of his caretakers, and shadow is absolutely struggling with moving on from maria. he never saw her die, so hes clinging on to the idea that shes alive, just held by the government somewhere.

by the time eggman grows up, hes got a lot of ideas and enough sense to realize he needs the superpowered hedgehog on his side, so he goes on about his theme park and bettering the world and whatnot with a side of taking down GUN until shadow is helping him raid bases and theyre both on the run together.

of course, shadow isnt actually big on eggmans schemes, since most of them either dont improve the world or actively make it worse. but GUN is on BOTH their tails, so they have no choice to stick together.

good news, its been nearly fifty years, and sonic is juuust old enough to go out and beat up the badniks threatening the local wildlife population. so! classic sonic and shadow meeting! i think sonic and friends would be a positive influence on shadow, slooowly befriending him and (unknowingly) helping him move on. their first meeting is literally like

shadow: hm. i suppose you're here to stop the doctor?

sonic, about to beat up who he assumes is a lackey who just implied he cant: >:/

shadow: third door on your left. he's using an emerald to power his generator, take it out carefully, don't blow it up.

sonic: ??

i also have a specific vision for the first time sonic goes super. he has 6/7 emeralds and eggman is boasting about him never finding the last one, so he looks imploringly at shadow and extends his hand to ask for it. shadow, who is realizing how actively dangerous eggman is becoming, gives it up. he expects to never get it back, even if eggman collects them again, seeing as he just. yknow. betrayed eggman. but the emerald stays in sonics hands after the battle when the others fly away, and sonic gives it back to shadow. this is what starts sparking hope in shadow, and over the years they develop a very casual friendship with a lot of banter even before sonic starts talking.

i also think tails and shadow get along well bc tails is always infodumping and shadow loves learning new things. plus they both stick to the sidelines. oftentimes shadow ends up solving whatever problem tails was having with his tech, either through rubberducking or genuinely working together toward a solution. eggman is sooo mad bc shadows working AGAINST him. their relationship is. very strained by this point. bc now even SHADOW is leaving him behind for this annoying hedgehog and his weird friends! hes got no one left! this makes him worse <3 which makes his relationship with shadow also worse <3 the downward spiralllll. and that eventually spirals into SA2! i have. a lot of thoughts on SA2. but they arent coherent juuust yet. i just know its gotta be Fucked Up and throw ALL of shadows trauma back into his face.

so if the experimental cures based on shadows dna gave maria black and red eyes like eggman used to be depicted with and she used them to take the fall for shadow allowing him to live on earth where he grows up with/raises eggman and they have a very strained semi-mutual-interests-based relationship until SA2 where eggman unearths maria in a G.U.N. bunker would that be fucked up or what

[lemongogo]

is this the part where i say i like jaymel . bc i do

[ganondoodle]

everyones more than welcome to send me asks about stuff* btw, i know i havent been that good in answering, but i think thats largely bc i always want to do too much, like .. drawing entire character design sheets and everything and then never having the energy or motivation for it so it sits around like all of my hundreds of wips i never finished bc i lost energy/motivation, waiting for it to come back .. which might never happen (and i still dont know how to handle compliments ,, i might never will tbh- if i havent answered a compliment its very very likely i dont know how to properly convey my gratitude- feeling like theres no amount of things i can do or say to 'pay back'? ... kinda weird if you think about it .. but i am weird so what do i know jsklfnhsdk, i promise you i treasure it)

im pretty sure not everyone that sends an ask expects a drawing or multiple and pages long text right? thats my skewed perspective isnt it?

*stuff being like .. about my ocs, about my zelda comic, about the totk rewrite project, suggestions, ideas, rants too, kind of anything though im less likely to respond to personal things (and in case theres anyone newer to tumblr, asks dont have to be literal questions, you can write in those what you want, i like them alot bc its a lil message without the chat type of commitment to it ... im even worse at keeping up responding in chats (not intentionally .. my short term memory sucks) o3o)

[skitskatdacat63]

I would commit murder to see the interview these pictures are from

[k1tty5]

hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you

(they are gorgeous I love them sm)

hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)

apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!

ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.

this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?

I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.

and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,

i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.

most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!

hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.

[angelpuns]

Me patiently waiting for a way to make comics about the shitty things that happened in 2020-2023 but unsure of how to go about it in a way that will make me feel better smh