#and only want to villainize him for your boring ship

[sapphicstoria]

I don’t understand how anyone thinks jonathan doesn’t want to be with nancy, or that he doesn’t love her. He was talking about not wanting to be like his father.

“He said he wanted to slow motion break up with her and said she’d ditch her dreams to be with him!”

If that’s what people take out of Jonathan’s breakdown to Argyle, then you did not understand the scene or his character. He was abused by that man, and also watched him destroy his mother and family. He was finally able to live a normalish life in a new place, and the unfortunate thing about that is that he now has time to sit and think about everything he went through years prior. He seen his father ruin his mother’s dreams, and that’s the one thing that he doesn’t want to do. So to say he’s like Lonnie, or that he’s a terrible boyfriend, is insane when he’s the exact opposite as Lonnie. He wants Nancy to achieve her dreams, to get into college. He loves her so much, that he was willing to end the relationship, just so he wouldn’t drag her down or ruin her chances of getting her dreams. He wants to see Nancy succeed and become successful. He’s just traumatized and has fears of becoming like his abusive father.

[wonderjanga]

Marvel’s an Alien?

The JL ended up going to a distant planet for diplomatic reasons. Marvel wasn’t there, neither was any of his sidekicks and or children(?). The explanation for why he couldn’t come was that Mr. Mind, a “mind controlling worm that crawls into your ear” was attacking Fawcett. None of the JL wanted to touch mind control, not even with a twenty foot pole so they just sent the Marvels on their way.

Now, the juicy thing was that everyone on this planet had the powers of Marvel. Though to a lesser degree it seems. None of these Keraunotes, which was what they called themselves, could seem to muster the same electrical output Marvel could. That’s what Batman said anyways. They actually asked one of the monarchs of the planet about why no one could use more electricity.

Monarchy: “What do you mean more?”

Aquaman: “We mean more. Like, we have this friend who can do a lot more than you guys.” *shows the monarch a vid of Marvel spamming a bunch of lightning at a villain* “Is there a reason you guys can’t use more? A limitation?”

Monarchy: *offended* “The limitation is death! If anyone used that much, they would die from the exhaustion. How is he even alive?”

That was a little concerning to the JL who were fully set on Marvel being a Keraunote. Was he constantly exhausting himself whenever he fought? Did he miss his home? Why’d he leave? Many questions were swirling in their heads. So, they decided to try and be better friends to Marvel. They decided to learn some things about this place.

Batman learned the planets language, or languages, there were multiple but he just stuck to couple and hoped for the best. He decided to test this about a week after they came back from the planet.

(foreign language is italics)

Batman: “Marvel, I need your input on something?”

Marvel: *confusion as to why Batman’s speaking another language, Solomon translates it* “Of course? What is it?”

Batman: “There’s currently a team of heroes stranded on an uninhabited planet. Do you think you’d be able to fly there and restart the power of their ship using your own electricity?”

Marvel: “I could try.” *sounds concerned* “When can I go help them?”

Batman: “Right after I ask a question. Is my pronunciation alright?”

Marvel: “Uh… Yes?”

Solomon: “Tell him to emphasize the vowels more.”

Marvel: “You might want to emphasize your vowels more though.”

Batman: “I see.” *nods head* “Well, you’re free to go save them now.”

GL and Flash decided to learn some dishes of the planet for Marvel.

Flash: *leading Marvel by the arm to the kitchen* “Trust us, man. You’re going to love it!”

Marvel: “Am I? I feel like this is a prank.”

GL: *is hovering his hands over Cap’s eyes* (that’s why Flash is pulling him along) “It’s not!”

Marvel: “I don’t think I believe you.”

Flash: “Well, regardless of what you believe. Tada!”

GL: *takes his hands off Marvel’s eyes*

Marvel: *sees a bunch of food on one of the counters* “Oh wow!” *loves food*

GL and Flash: *thinks his love of food is him loving that it’s food from his planet and are super proud*

Hawkgirl and Aquaman learned a game that was played on the planet.

Marvel, Aquaman, and Hawkgirl: *all playing a Keraunote card game on the floor with all of them bored but trying to hide it*

Marvel: *just gives up on hiding it* “Guys.” *puts a card down* “This is really boring.”

Aquaman: “Oh thank God!” *chucks his hand of cards over his shoulder* “I thought I was the only one.”

Hawkgirl: “How about we just spar in the training room?” *also throws her hand over her shoulder*

Marvel: “That sounds way better than whatever this was. I barely understood the rules.” *neatly, gracefully, simply puts his hand of cards down on the floor and stands up*

Hawkgirl: “You too? And here I thought it was just me.” *stands up*

Aquaman: “We were all confused.” *stands up*

They all went to spar and then drank juice boxes while sharing a bag of cheddar & sour cream flavored ruffles after.

Anyways, it’s safe to say the JL are all super proud of themselves.

[zosan-secondchances]

The Pirate King of the North: Part 2 with Concept Art

Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship

Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

Let's go back a touch to when old Sanji reunited with his Zoro after the arm incident.

Sanji

I'm back Marimo-kun~! Sorry I was gone for so long!

Zoro

What the–? How the fuck did you get into my house?!

Sanji

Turns out I got this genetically-modified body so my limbs are practically replaceable! This isn't normal, right?

Commander 1

My Liege, we still need to attach the rest of the flesh.

Sanji

Oh, shush it now. I know it's just for padding at this point.

Anyway! This means we can keep fighting! Isn't that wonderful? I know your dad doesn't fight with that red-head anymore because of it.

Zoro

Dad? What are you…? Forget it. You're a freak. Get out. Now.

Sanji

Is…is it the hair? I thought I'd try something new…. I spent so long fixing it up for you. Do you not like it?

Zoro

Wait, what is that?

Sanji

Oh! This thing on my hand? It's a get-well-soon gift from my dear Doffy! He said I should at least try and make the fight fair for us so you won't get bored of me. What do you think?

Zoro

Fair? What do you mean fair?! And who the fuck is Doffy–?

Sanji

So many questions! Marimo-kun, I'm actually just here to propose. Let's go and get married!

Zoro

This…this must be some kind of a sick joke.

Sanji

I'm plenty serious actually. Come now, it'll be fun! If you marry me I'll give you all the sake you want~!

Zoro

You're barking mad if you think I'd agree to that.

Sanji

Commander, please present the dowry.

Darling, do you accept sea cows or do you prefer gold?

Zoro

Get the hell out of my house!!

Sanji

Hmm…you're right. I'm not doing this properly. Hey, is your dad still at Kuragaina? And was that a yes to sea cows?

Zoro

OUT!!!

This is Sanji's first of many marriage proposals.

---

Later in the week, a certain captain is over at Zoro's.

Law

You don't have to marry the man. Just get on his good side enough to get the information. I don't care how you do it.

Zoro

You ask too much this time, surgeon.

Law

Oh, for fuck's sake–you owe me. And I'm cashing in.

Zoro

Fine. But I'm only doing this for Luffy. What do you need exactly?

Law

I need to know if someone's still alive…. It's only a rumour but it would kill me I'd I don't find out for sure. And only he might know it.

Zoro

A friend of yours?

Law

You can say that.

Zoro

What's the name?

Law

It's…the Marines call him Corazon.

----------

Notes: I'm still exploring how to do dialogue the way my brain lays it out in my head. I've written scripts for storyboarding purposes before but Tumblr layout won't let me do what I need so bullet points it is. Oh well! Depending on feedback I might change it up.

[halitis]

do i have anything anything against jason as a character? no. i actually like him quite a bit! i think hes really interesting!

BUT DO I THINK SOME JASON FANS ARE FUCKING DUMB AS FUCK?!?? YES BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?

im gonna go through all the shit wrong with this comment thread one by one because jesus fucking CHRIST!!!!

1. "that thing" first of all. What. she is literally just a evil-aligned poc woman. she has been raised in this environment and as a result of that this is really the only life available for her and thats the tragedy of her character!

2. "why did she get with roy" THEY ARE FUCKING SOULMATES. THEIR ENTIRE THING IS THE INHERENT LOVE THEY SHARE FOR EACH OTHER WHILE ALSO VALUING THEIR MORALS ABOVE EACH OTHER. IT IS THE COMPLEXITY OF RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER AND ALSO TRYING TO FIND MIDDLE GROUND. IT IS BEGGINT THE OTHER TO CHANGE AND KNOWING THEY WONT.

3. "MY BABY JASON" YOU CANNOT SAY THAT AFTER YOU JUST INSULTED JADE.... LITTERALLY CANNOT. the biggest fucking hypocrytical statement i have ever fucking heard!!! bro!!! jason is Nawt a good person! he just flat out isnt! he has done so much horrid shit, not just to his familt, but to roy's family too. like he is not ur sweet innocent traumatised boy, he is a fucked up grown ass man who was hurt and decided to take that pain out on others. he is no fucking different from jade except he thinks hes doing rhe right thing, at least jade knows she isnt

4. "lian baby mama is jason now" ive talked abt this before, but sexism in fandom spaces when it comes to mlm ships is so fucking common it is fucking absurd. why are women only used as babymakers for ur gay characters?? why can they not be complex characters while men can???? it is fucking absurd how common it is in dc fandom and i frankly dont know why im shocked by it! women are regressed to one of three roles: evil villain who abused male love interest, baby maker, BAMF with no complexity or character at all and it is honestly so fucking tiring and just, boring to read??? like how do you not just hate it??????

5. "unemployed" honestly. i have no words. all im saying is it is No Fucking Shock that the woc is being pushed into these awful stereotypes.

now we are up to the worst part. the final comment...

6. "how are you gonna sleep with my man" ROY LEFT JADE. NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. roy was on an undercover mission and fell in love with jade and got her pregnant! he left because he would not be able to arrest her!!! all she fucking knew was one of the first people she truly ever loved had fucking gotten her to trust him and then left her, she had to deal with that pregnancy BY HERSELF. SHE LITTERALLY SAYS SHE SPENT THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY WAITING FOR ROY TO COME BACK TO HER, AND SHE WASNT EVEN MAD SHE STILL LOVED HIM.... she didn't even realise his identity for years!

also why is it always the woman's fucking fault if she gets pregnant? it takes two to tango! roy is as equally responsible for that pregnancy as jade is!

7. "AND THEN LEAVE YOUR KID" OH MY GOD.... [EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND] JADE. CANNOT. LEAVE. THE LEAGUE. BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO RAISE A FUCKINF CHILD THERE BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE!! SHES BEEN THAT KID!! jade knows fucking better then to delude herself into thinking she can raise lian safely while still stuck in her life, but lian is her number one priority always!! forever!! she pushes roy and lian away because she knows she is dangerous for them and because she thinks she doesnt deserve to have them and that love in her life!!!

8. "lian should be embarrassed to have her as her mum" i actually fucking wish nothing but hell upon you. have you not fucking read. just a single thing in ur life actually? just like actually can you read??? because i have met TODDLERS with better media literacy than you. LIAN HAS ISSUES WITH HER MOTHER. THIS WAS A BIG PART OF HER STINT AS SHOES. SHE IS DEALING WITH THE COMPLEXITIES OF LOVING HER MOTHER, THE WOMAN WHO LOVES HER AND CARES FOR HER, WHILE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGING THE FACT THAT SHE ISNT A GREAT MUM.

im sorry this is so messy and has so much shouting it actually has me fuming when people r so fucking stupid, idc if you dont like a character but dont just ignore all the bits of a characyer that make them redeemable or interesting to prop up ur male blorbos????

[trashart00]

Less than 12 hours until the release of “The Tortured Poets Department”!

Hence, I present to you, “The Tortured Catboy Department”

Track List:

SIDE A: Deux Semaines (feat Ladybug) / The Tortured Catboy Department / My Lady Abandons Only Her Favourite Partners / Down Bad

SIDE B: So Long, London / But Daddy I Love Her / Fresh Out the Slammer / Akuma !!! (feat Monarch)

SIDE C: Guilty As Sin? / Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me / Even Ladybug Can’t Fix This / loml

SIDE D: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart / The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived / The Cataclysm / Adrien Agreste

Bonus Tracks: The Black Cat / Solitude / Doppelgänger / Tell-Tail Heart

(Love how so many of the original track names still work)

My takes of what each song is about/inspired by under cut (but, if you feel like it, tell me yours :D)

I’m picturing all of these to be from Adrien’s perspective so they reflect mostly his version of the situations rather than the objective reality (especially the Laybug centered ones)

Deux Semaines (feat Ladybug): This one would focus on the sequence in Multiplication where Monarch doesn’t attack and how LadyNoir’s relationship recovers from the events of Season 4.

TTCD: Kept the “Catboy” singular because while there are multiple Catboy identities, there is only one boy underneath them all. Hence while I think it would be about him just stating his issues with everything, it would also focus on loneliness and how his department is understaffed :(

MLAOHFP: All of the Season 4 LadyNoir separation arc angst, with the “Favourite” being a callback to Risk (and kinda a jab at Rena because he thinks that she’s really her favourite, but y’ know, she didn’t abandon her so Rena can’t be her actual favourite)

Down Bad: Mainly about how Chat’s love for LB makes him excuse her behaviors, but also makes him act out (maybe a reference to Elation).

SL,L: About the whole arc of Gabriel sending Adrien to London and all of the memories he would have surrounding this ordeal - key point, not “So Long, Paris” because he didn’t want to leave, and in the end he comes back to a changed world.

BDILH: This one’s either about the Chat Blanc breakup or Gabriel’s dislike of Marinette in Season 5 (or both, with maybe a line about how he feels like this has happened before)

FOTS: Adrien realizing his father is a Bad Person.

Akuma !!! (feat Monarch): This one would be like a song about his daily life and then the chorus would start with a shout of “Akuma!!!” and it would switch to him as Chat Noir. I feel like it would start out with normal life being boring/hero life being fun but as it goes on he grows exhausted. Monarch has a rap verse.

Guilty As Sin?: Chat Blanc centeric - would ask who is to blame for the destruction of the world, like is it Chat because he lost control or Hawkmoth because he took advantage of his son’s emotion?

WAoLOM: Chat Blanc centric at first (like a villain song) but ends with Adrien reflecting on the events of Evolution-Destruction-Multiplication-PS night

ELCFT: I think it would be about his relaction ship with his father and how he wishes there was something he could do to go back to how they were when Emilie was alive but there’s no easy fix and his father keeps on getting worse and worse after any attempt.

loml: A song for Marinette with a bittersweet air - she’s the love of his life but he can’t tell her everything, and she can’t tell him everything either

ICDIWaBH: CatWalker centric - him going back to Ladybug in Kuroneko.

TSMWEL: I actually have three for this one - 1. About Gabriel and his need to domineer because he feels small and powerless. 2. About Adrien feeling small and insignificant. 3.About Plagg because he’s a smol boi (it would be like a lighthearted, cheeky song, like when you sing to your pet about how adorable they are)

The Cataclysm: Literally about how he cataclysmed Monarch, but also about how the event impacted his perception of self.

Adrien Agreste: Ending the album with a song that’s his own name :o.

Now for the variants:

The Black Cat: This one has Chat on the cover and the song is mostly about his bad luck. ‘I Love You It’s Ruining My Life” works both directed at Ladybug and his father.

Solitude: With Chat Blanc on the cover, this one’s about his mother. I think the “You Don’t Get To Tell Me About Sad” is pretty self-explanatory.

Doppelgänger: CatWalker is on this one, his song would be about how he may literally be the same person but he doesn’t fully feel like himself. He had to repress a lot of himself to be CatWalker hence I thought “Am I Allowed To Cry?” fit him really well (especially with Plagg not giving him the time to fully recover before he had to jump back in). Please note the crossed out name (unlike Chat Blanc) because he’s reinventing himself.

Tell-Tail Heart: This one has Ladybug on the cover - wait she’s not a Catboy?? The song is titled “Tell-Tail Heart” as a reference to Edgar Allan Poe’s “Tell Tale Heart” and would explore Chat’s perspective of Ladybug’s guilt for keeping secrets, how any excuse she makes is ultimately unimportant because she would do it either way. The fact that this is the only song title with a pun references how Chat tries to lighten the mood and avoid serious conversations, and the “Tail” is supposed to refer to Rena Rouge. The flowers she’s holding are meant to be foxgloves which symbolise secrets and insincerity (they’re also poisonous and damage the heart :)). I also really liked the “Old Habits Die Screaming” for her as it could mean both Chat Noir’s love for her being an old habit that he cannot get rid of, but also her habit of keeping things from him (especially with how she does it again at the end of season 5) being something she can’t stop. It is also him being able to see that, despite what she tells him, her “Heart” is tells him otherwise.

(also would like to point out that he wouldn’t mention Rena by name, he’s upset, not evil)

[maxdibert]

I feel like the main reason why people love the marauders era so much is because it is very easy to create a bunch of aesthetics out of it. It's the 70s so people already glamorize it and make it edgy etc. and that's why the fans get lost in their stories. It's all fun and games, dancing, fighting, passion and rebellions that people just romanticize every single character and completely erase or downplay who they actually were. Like with Lily, James, Remus and Sirius. They all smoke cigarettes while listening to ABBA after a day of making silly pranks or fighting for a "cause" during a war. People just project their desires and fantasies into these characters when in reality they all kind of sucked and noone would probably want to live in an era of war and rising fascism with these people.

Honestly, I have no issue with them creating a parallel universe where it's practically a Muggle school with occasional spells because everything about that fandom’s dynamic is basically your average teen drama series. I get where that comes from, and that’s fine—the inseparable friends trope, high school drama, self-discovery, and all that stuff we’ve all related to at some point, even if those of us over 25 find it boring now because it feels far removed from our lives, which are more about paying bills and antidepressants. But I understand the fandom. I understand why they love to idealize it. I get why they’re so into creating "headcanons" that aren’t even headcanons but just rewriting the canon to reflect their image and make them feel seen.

My only real issue, the one thing that genuinely bothers me about that fandom, is that they include absolutely everyone—characters who canonically didn’t even overlap in school years, characters who are canonically psychopaths and torturers, characters who are literal garbage—and they justify everyone. Everyone except one. And that one character, unsurprisingly, is Severus Snape. The canonically poor, canonically unattractive, canonically unmasculine, canonically non-conforming to hegemonic standards of masculinity in both his time and ours. He’s the one who always gets all the hate. He’s the one labeled the homophobe, the sexual predator, the violent one. The one it’s okay to call ugly, disgusting, or make fun of for supposedly not showering or mockingly use his bully-given nickname. Only him. No one else. Just him.

And it disgusts me because that fandom didn’t used to be like this. They didn’t do bashing for no reason; they weren’t this childish.

Can someone from that crowd explain to me why they hate J.K. Rowling so much when they’re perpetuating the same garbage stereotypes? Why do they think they’re so avant-garde by changing the sexual orientation of every male character while relegating the female ones to decorative props, pairing them off so they don’t interfere with their MALE ships? Why do they think they’re more progressive for making Sirius "feminine" while villainizing Severus, a character canonically mocked for being unmasculine? Why do they label James Potter as a saint under the rainbow flag and call Snape a homophobe when it was James who canonically mocked Snape for his appearance and for not fitting the mold of hegemonic masculinity? Why do they go on about body positivity, headcanoning Regulus with crooked teeth or Lily as plus-size, while turning around and mocking Snape for—God, this is so laughably ridiculous—not fitting beauty standards? They literally have posts laughing at him for having a big nose or greasy hair and then have the nerve to act like making Lily plus-size in their fics is groundbreaking?

Do they not realize how utterly hypocritical, cynical, and cringe they are?

If this wasn’t the case, I honestly wouldn’t give a damn about that fandom. I wouldn’t care if they idolized a bunch of bullies or treated a group of budding psychopaths as misunderstood kids. Really, I wouldn’t care. But trying to sell this idea that they’re so inclusive, so free of prejudice, and that their view of these characters is doing the world a favor when they’re perpetuating the same prejudiced, discriminatory, classist, and misogynistic crap as J.K. Rowling on one of her better days on Twitter? They can go straight to hell with that.

Stop bashing a character for no reason, especially when that character canonically embodies everything they claim to be fighting for with their pastel pink version of "That '70s Show." Give me a break. Tell it to someone else.

[solestixx]

1- lukas matsson x reader

word count ≈ 6600

warning: smut and mid writing

____

“Ken- you know this isn’t my scene.” Your voice goes quiet, simply just peering at your brother, anxious for his reaction.

He’s been a bit of a pain in the ass lately, the whole family was a pain in your ass lately, but perhaps it was always this way. The Roy family created chaos and unnecessary drama, that was a given. It was something you tried to detach yourself from; the business, the craze, the constant chatter– it all drained you. From the moment you were born, it was as if your family was screaming from all sides whether it be Roman and Shiv fighting over shit all, or your dad blowing up in your faces.

You always knew that you didn’t fit into the puzzle. You were born a little bit too late, grew up with faint glances of your older siblings, and dismissed like the baby you were. Maybe that was the reason you never considered joining Waystar, or perhaps why a place was never offered. 

Your dad was your dad, perpetually disappointed in you – while at the same time maintaining that you were his favourite. You all knew it was Shiv, but the very fact he insisted that it was you made you villain number one to your siblings. 

So there you were, their little sister who was a fucking writer, twiddling with your ungroomed thumbs, waiting for your family to forget who you were. That being said, it was a surprise when you opened your email to find a very flashy invite to Kendall’s 40th. You didn’t think that your brother would want what he perceived as his Debbie Downer boring little sister at his grandiose douche fest.

“Come the fuck on, it’s my party, Bambi, cheer up, enjoy yourself for once,” Kendall says. “Come on, I’ll take you somewhere special.” As he’s about to leave, you stop him, placing a hand on his arm.

“Wait, Ken. I have a gift for you.” You hand him an envelope, “I didn’t want it getting lost in the mix.”  

Kendall stops with his buzzing, which is probably coke-induced and takes the envelope from your hands. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you sigh as you watch your brother tuck the envelope into his coat. 

He quickly puts a hand on your shoulder before he starts to navigate you around, waving and fistbumping his friends walking by. As quickly as you had gained Kendall’s attention, it faded away from you, as he yelled over at his assistant who seemed new, but you weren’t around enough to know. “Yo! Comfrey, ship up my little sis to the treehouse.”

His assistant – Comfrey, who you knew had definitely been speed walking away from her boss before he hollered out at her – whipped her head towards the both of you. You were the odd couple, Kendall’s glazed over eyes and dopey smile mixed with your grimacing under his touch. “Coming!”

Kendall gives you a pat on the head– a move he often did in childhood, his eyes dead as always as he gives you a good-enough smirk,  “You should avoid the other sibs, they’re strictly business right now – serious work only.”

You smile at his unconscious insinuation. You weren't a serious person to them. You weren’t anything you guessed, “Have fun, okay Ken? And try not to be a complete dick tonight,” you ask before Comfrey pulls me away and Kendall saunters off. 

You watch your brother from the corner of your eyes, and quickly try to keep up with the bouncing ponytail of his young assistant. The hollowness in your chest that used to exist – that there would be ten years ago –  had disappeared now, you were completely okay with the empty promises and empty phrases. 

It’s what you grew up on. Raised in the top two floors of the highest buildings in New York, the Scottish highlands with your father’s forgotten castles, or in sprawling ranches in the middle of nowhere for tax purposes. At least that was the childhood you had with the Logan Roy experience.

After Uncle Ewan’s wife passed away, when you went to her funeral with your whole family, Dad decided that he’d leave his youngest with his brother to build your character. Your siblings were already almost in college and you were, well, the youngest and still complaining about multiplication and school field trips. So, from then on, you distanced yourself. Not entirely by your own volition, but every decision after was. And you prayed that every decision following would be as well.

As you try to keep pace with the taller woman, “So Comfrey, how’d you become Kendall’s assistant?” 

The woman turns around for a second to get a glance at the youngest Roy, she presses her lips together before curtly responding, “I’m his PR rep.”

All you do is hum in understanding, she was a PR rep that was running around like a low-level worker bee trying to satiate her older brother. It was like all people in their lives. 

You pass by the flashing lights, tall glass windows, and strange art installations, not so much admiring them, more like begging to just dissolve into the floor. To melt like the witch in the Wizard of Oz would be your opus, your ooey-gooey pile of person simply having a hard time leaching onto the rich person floors.

When you spot the all-too-familiar treehouse you wince. It seemed that Kendall’s childhood trauma manifested in an exuberant part of his fortieth birthday party. “This is Kendall’s little sister, she’s cool.” Comfrey motions the guards behind her, as you stand awkwardly – it looked like they needed visible confirmation you were you? It took them a second for their heads to look at your orientation. 

While they make way for you, opening up the roped fence, you thank Comfrey, then watch her scatter away, and hurry away probably to clean up Kendall’s inevitable fuck-ups. 

She was nice enough, you guessed; could be worse. 

You wandered through the treehouse with no purpose, staring at the tree trunk columns that looked borderline tacky and its leaf-casted shadows on the walls. You weren’t alone in the room, no there was a boatload of Kendall’s rager hedge fund friends, or celebrities whose faces you remember enough to dart away from – but still, you were alone. You felt eyes on you, people knew that you were a Roy, but eyes don’t give you company. 

The space was large enough to walk around for a few minutes, but eventually, you assumed you just looked out-of-place. Pacing around like a failed dracula, circling his already knowing victims. So you resigned yourself to a couch near a wall, praying that nobody approaches you. At least you wouldn’t be sneak-attacked from the back. That was your worst fucking nightmare – a hand on your back and a networking LinkedIn smiley techie. 

Leaning into the couch’s thin leather you try to get comfortable. The lights were bright enough you hoped, to not ‘ruin the vibe’ with your phone’s obnoxiously bright screen. Staring at your home screen, you forget any work that you had to do – literally nothing of importance that would make you look like you were doing something. Yes, you were writing a screenplay right now, which would be a good thing to work on if you could concentrate in the noisy fucking room. So you just went on Candy Crush, your finger languidly swiping your high school iPhone wanting to shoot yourself. 

You spent an adequate amount of time doing that, getting cozy enough to tuck your feet under your body and let your hair out from the bun it was in. It felt okay, you still wanted to go home, but you were waiting until at least ten percent of the crowd was gone so Kendall wouldn’t get prissy. 

But you couldn’t keep the peace, of course, you couldn’t. Because there Kendall comes into the room, not looking for you, but for a man sitting on one of the benches in the middle of the party.

“There he is!” You internally shrink, like a deflated balloon as your brother approaches. You hide like you were habitually doing as a child, trying to dart off from where you were oh-so comfortable. You hear Kendall saying some other bullshit which you tune out in your panic, but as you’re set to leave he calls out your name. 

“Bambs!” He turns to the man next to him, “This is my sister– she isn’t a vulture like the other ones, don't worry about that.” He looks back at you, then at the man again, “She’ll take care of you, they avoid her like a fucking plague.”

“Really nice, Ken,” you say, walking towards them reluctantly, resigning to sit next to the blonde man. He was tired-looking with hardly-noticeable but still visible rings underneath his eyes, a small smirk of interest on his face as he doesn’t shuffle to give you space, instead moving closer to you.

Kendall leaves, for a reason you are unsure of. You try to stare in his retreating direction as you feel the stranger’s hot eyes on you. You couldn’t read this guy, he seemed like a regular dude at first glance and to your relief he didn’t seem crazed in the eyes or serial-rapey.

“You’re the youngest one, aren’t you? The recluse?” he asks, his accent isn’t American, it was something Nordic – you hadn’t met many of them in your life. 

You turn towards him, to be polite of course, although your body tries to twist awkwardly, making sure he isn’t too close, “Good use of deduction.” He’s attractive, vaguely familiar like everyone in the room, obviously important to your brother, but you still have no fucking clue who he is. “And you’re? One of my brother’s friends?”

He smirks, laying back on a column behind him, “Yeah, we’re best buddies, like peas and a pod.” 

“No name?” He laughs, like he was in disbelief that you didn’t know who he was, “I like this, I’ll be your mystery man, hmm?” He leans further towards you, raising his eyebrows – the lack of space making your face hot. 

You try to escape any feelings of chagrin, crossing your legs, and staring into his eyes which felt like it was more of his soul. Who was this fucking dude? “A mystery man in my childhood treehouse, you’re sounding like a pedophile to me…”

He nods as though he agrees, laughing, “You have a history in this, I assume, with your family.” Oh yes, Uncle Mo. “What do you do? The tabloids say… writer?” 

A part of you feels insecure in your lack of knowledge about him. He knows your occupation, your name, and would probably be able to trace your life back to childhood through the internet, while you sat here like prey for his predator. All in his casual clothing and wolfish smile. 

“Yes, some screenwriting, some things more authorial, enough to get by.” 

It seemed like the idea of ‘getting by’ was amusing to him as he smiled when you said that. Almost as if he was in disbelief that a Roy would ever need to make enough to get by. Maybe he was older money, maybe he grew up in a big castle like you, a prince or something… your mother had always had people like that over when you were young. It was funny, the old aristocrats with their wine and screaming kids. No he wasn’t old money... his whole being read new. New money. New power.

“You dress like you write children’s books, like a sexy-librarian-kindergarten teacher – it’s hot, if I dare-say,” he says. You can feel him looking her up and down and she doesn’t know if you hate it or like it. You may be leaning to the latter with how lonely you’d been feeling for so long. 

You almost roll your eyes, although your face heats up. How long has it been since someone somewhat complimented you? Sure they called your writing good, praised you in those magazines– no journals they called them, but nobody ever looked at you. Even if it was a half-insult. 

You did dress conservatively, at least to control the narrative of yourself. Stemming mostly from when the paps took pictures up your skirt as a teenager. They weren’t even decent enough to wait until you were eighteen, the moment the vultures saw that you wore a short-enough skirt they chased you around trying to get a glimpse of the most elusive Roy sibling; the paps were constantly chasing a story, and for the duration of your childhood you were the most interesting part of the billion-piece puzzle belonging to the Roy family.

Without any response, he moves even closer, if that’s humanly possible – your arms pressing up against each other. He was warm, warmer than the stuffy room around the two of you, “Trying to insinuate something, mystery man?”

“Ja, maybe I am,” he says, before leaning close to your face. “Let’s go somewhere more private.” He offers you a hand to get up, which your body wills you to take, but your brain knows logically any man your brother wants to woo is a douche, yet you’d always think with your feelings. He pulls you through the treehouse, walking into more of a secluded room. 

You feel people watching you, more than before, more than they would the youngest Roy, but his hand feels so warm in yours, and he was even more attractive standing up. Taller than your smaller stature – you were the shortest of your siblings along with the youngest, the baby. It felt nice walking next to him, it felt safe. But still, it felt almost dangerous.

You breathe out a thank god as the two of you get off of the wooden bench and your butt touches a soft surface again. It’s more secluded than your spot before but like every corner of the party, there were still people around you. 

“Not a fan of crowds?” he asks, getting comfortable on the couch and leaning back as you feel his hand rise slowly on your thigh. Like he’s apprehensively confident.

“Is anyone really?” you ask him, he nods slowly, his eyes asking me to go on, “I don’t know why I’m here, maybe just feeling shitty about my family situation, you know? I don't spend much time with them… ever.” You eye the man as he intensely looks back at you – eyefucking you believe it’s called. Oh and his eyes are blue, you’d never noticed that before — remarkably they’re not empty, the soul was still there, at least right now. You have to admit that he’s hot, in this light even more so. His features affirm my suspicions of where he’s from– and as you stare at him even longer you can't quite remember when you’d ever seen a hotter man. “Do you still have no name?”

He grins, looking away, “You’ll know soon enough, won’t you? This is fun for now.” 

“The only name I know you by is pedophile, and I don’t think you want people overhearing. Seems like we have eavesdroppers,” you glance over at the small groups of people around you. You assume that they’re small investors, that they probably know Kendall and whatever business he has with the mystery man. 

“You’re right, my facial expressions plus my conversation are very relevant to the stock market and usually equals tanking.”

“You talking to me will probably tank it, whatever stock you’re talking about—“ you stop yourself from continuing, would Dad be mad that you were talking to him? “You’re not part of Kendall’s crusade, right? Like my father won’t try and assassinate me for speaking to you?”

It’s almost like he enjoys that notion as he laughs to himself, “Don’t worry about Kendall, your dad hiring a guy maybe, but right now I’m to be courted.” He gestures with his hands – which to you are strangely very animated, “You care about what your dad says, do you?”

You respond nonchalantly, though your hands squirm and you look to the ground, “It’s a constant fuck him, and at the same time I love you, Daddy, I guess. He was shit, is shit, but sometimes he’s not too bad.”

“You call him daddy?”

For the second time today, you feel yourself crawl into your skin, “Oh yeah, when we’re in bed together definitely.”

Mystery man almost giggles at your comment, and there’s something affable about that. He was constantly switching from this serious man to a very unserious one. There was some strange part of this that you liked, you liked the attention the way that he looked at you, the bubble he created around the two of you, the way his hand was increasingly inching. 

You think back to the way this night started. You were quite desperate to leave, a bit dampened by the way Kendall accepted your gift, and guilty that you weren't at home taking care of your cat and working. Then you were delivered by this tall Viking man and you were uncomfortably comfortable with the way he made you feel. 

“I kind of want to get drunk.”

“I have no qualms with that,” he responds, a grin on his face as you both get up and inch towards the bar, his hand slipping onto your back easily. 

The time at the bar was spent in easy conversation, you stand against the wall, with him looming in front of you as you drink together. Him a beer and you a drink with a name you’re unsure of – hating yourself for so much enjoying the tang of the liquified poison. 

“Why aren’t you part of your family’s business?”

The way he looks at you… you feel like there’s genuine interest, you look into his eyes and there’s a gleam that scares me. Was he playing with you? Was this a play for your family? You still have no clue who this man is. You let him get too close to yourself, hand on your waist – eyes on yours, too close for a stranger. But you just want to be happy,  to feel like you exist again. Not a fly on the wall, the main course. 

“You know,” you shrug your shoulders, taking another sip as he just looks at you with a weird facial thing that you don’t quite understand. Like he’s teasing you, but ever so slightly, begging you to spill – which you do. “I’m the baby, y’know – Bambi or whatever.”

He tilts his head back as he absorbs, “Bambi… I like that, you look like a Bambi – the deer right?”

“Yes the deer, they–” I hurriedly take another sip of my drink as I recount the story of my ubiquitous nickname, “Once Dad went hunting and brought me along, we spotted a deer and instead of uh– killing it I kind of ran towards it, while his gun was still aimed. He said that he was about to shoot me like I was a Bambi, he said I was so fast that he almost pulled the trigger while watching me through the scope.”

Mystery man looks at me with wide eyes, “Jesus fuck, that’s a shit thing to say. How old were you?”

“Uh maybe ten, by then my siblings were gone and he visited me where I lived with Uncle Ewan in Canada.”

“What a fucking prick.”

“Yeah.”

You stare at each other for a minute, him in front of you and you below him, you really like his eyes. You break it though, your head was starting to spin from the one drink and he was making it almost worse. “Come on, let’s go sit down, I’m gonna get stumbly.”

Pushing yourself away from the wall, you walk towards an empty space with a few chairs around a table and plop yourself down. Curling into yourself, you can just feel him situating himself next to you.

“You’re a lightweight, aren’t you? You look like one too,” he says, taking a swig of his still-almost-full beer.

You glare up at him as you start dozing off, “I’m gonna nap, you do you, pedophile.”

He guffaws, “Okay, no more pedophile jokes, the press hears and I’m done.”

“I wouldn’t know,” you mutter before tucking your head into your own shoulder. 

“I have to ask you something before you nod off.” He seems almost genuine in his words as he furrows his eyebrows and leans towards your chair. You lift yourself ever so slightly showing that you’re listening. “We’ll fuck later right? Like guaranteed?”

You close your eyes again before you can roll them, although a tiny smile slips onto your face – you hope he won’t see it as you bury your face into the back of the lounge chair. 

“I saw that grin, I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“Fuck off, asshole.”

“Don’t contradict yourself now.”

You shake your head in mock embarrassment as you go to sleep. Your head was throbbing a bit, and your heart was beating faster – but you realize that you’d forgotten the loud music, and the crowds of people around. You’d forgotten. You’d found solace after so many years looking for it, in the middle of a mock replica of your childhood treehouse.

And this sleep was peaceful for a while, but then a fucking earthquake rumbled you awake. 

“What the fuck,” you grunted as you felt hands on your shoulders, your eyes bulge open and you see Roman above you. “Rome, leave me alone, you bitch.”

“Were you trying to seduce Matsson for dad?” 

You just roll your eyes, not understanding in your incoherent state what the fuck your brother was talking about – per usual. Looking around you saw that mystery man was gone, and the party was still raging around you. And his name was Matsson? Strange name, but a little bit fitting. 

“I have no clue what you’re talking about… why’d you even wake me up, miss me that bad?” you asked, clearly trying to antagonize him with your whiny voice.

Roman with all his pessimism and ass-holery deadpans at you, “Well I’m fuckin’ sorry, you totally missed the six foot tall Viking who was camped out beside your unconscious body?”

“Is that not the point of being unconscious, dumbass?” 

“Did you fuck him, Bambi? Were you so fucking tired after fucking him that you had to take a big girl nap?”

“There’s something psychologically wrong with you.”

Roman sits squatting on the top of the chair as he pseudo-interrogates you, “Y’know he didn’t let me fucking wake you up, was that a power play or did you let him do you?”

“Rome, I have no idea who that man was, he just said he was your friend and Ken told me to keep an eye on him.” Half-lying was your thing, you guessed. Your life was full of half-lies, momentary omissions of details, ignoring parts of sentences so you seemed more innocent. That was the life of a youngest child out of five you guessed.

“And since when were you Kendall’s bitch?” “Since he invited me to something, unlike you.” 

Roman completely skipped your comment before going off again, “Did he tell you anything, Matsson?”

“Oh yeah, he told me he fucking hates your guts,” you say with a smile, watching your brother getting riled up.

“I’m going to tell Dad that you fucked him if you don’t tell me the truth,” he threatens, it was fun being in this position. You’d so regularly in your childhood been put down by your older siblings, so it was interesting being the one to give it back to them. You finally understood the appeal. Ah, leverage. 

You smile as you pretend to recount, a finger to your chin as you mockingly itch it, “Oh he told me that Dad’s an asshole and he has no interest in business with any of you creeps.”

“You’ve seriously been spending too much time with Uncle Looney? You know that right? You sound delusional, completely and utterly gone.”

As you sit up straighter trying to compose yourself, you eye Shiv coming over to where you and Roman sit (although he’s very much standing, pacing, like a lunatic), her hair a mess and her makeup smudged all over. She’d either just had mind blowing sex or something was seriously wrong with her. 

You and your sister were strained to say the least. You wanted the idealized big sister who would braid your hair and make you up. The sister who would talk about boys with you and argue with you over stealing her clothes. You guessed Shiv more so wanted to prove herself to Dad – she’d always been his favourite. You were more of an afterthought to her. The kind of afterthought that made you do a double take when you remember that you’d buried it so long ago. 

There wasn’t any sentimentality in the title of sister with the two of you. You were just another sibling, and probably her third favourite before Connor. But still, you love her, and you know in the deep recesses of her heart she loves you too. All the siblings love each other, although a strong belief for you was that there were certain dynamics that you were excluded from because of your age and difference in childhood. 

“You do you, Roman. Just know that I’m hoping for your business with him to fail, just handing you my two cents.” Business was a strange concept to you, you were always pushed away from it as a child, leading you to know less than nothing about it. At one point you felt like you would go into it, but that too was ripped away from you. So right now, you just wanted to make Roman feel bad. Sure it was wrong to want to churn your brother into pieces, but it felt so good.

“I know you’re a fucking liar, so just like, sit with that, okay?” 

“Whatever, Roman.”

Roman ignores your words calling out for Shiv. Shiv runs a finger through straight but frizzy hair before coming to give you a half-hug.

The hug was weird and a little bit detached, but it was something, and it made you feel not instantly uncomfortable, but almost happy. Happy to see your sister again a little bit. “Bambi, it’s been like two fucking years.” 

It hadn’t been, but you agree. It felt like it.

“I didn’t know you were keeping track–” you try to say, but Roman quickly cuts you off. Biting off that Shiv was out dancing. Dancing was a human thing. You didn’t know your only sister was a human. 

“Guys, I’m gonna go now, I’ll probably not be in touch, so yeah,” you try and gracefully leave as your siblings bicker about finessing or some shit. 

They both nod non-committedly as you trot off observing Kendall and Connnor at the opposite poles of the room. You choose to not go off towards Kendall, who you knew probably already ruined his night with his overthinking or underthinking. Instead you go to Connor, probably your only kind brother, albeit the fact sometimes he was fucking lawful psychotic.

“Con, Con,” you call out, your small purse at your side as you push it around your body – you’d refused to give it to security earlier, citing personal reasons which they were too scared to deny. They probably assumed it was your period or something like that – you’d made that insinuation when they didn’t relent for your last name.

You see Connor’s coated body turn around as he returns your call, “Bambi! My favourite sister – you remember Willa?” Connor gestures to his arm candy, who didn’t seem too excited to meet you – or meet you again, but obviously faked it. She was very pretty, nearly to the point where she made you feel insecure. But then again, no hate for your brother, but she was with your brother. You were sure Connor had mentioned her in a phone call, but you two never really talked about those kinds of things. He was always ranting on about politics (you think you’re the only one who would listen, so he took advantage of that) or you would talk about your life – never about the company, or really how he was doing besides his ranch. 

“Yes, at Shiv’s wedding, I believe?” She just nods, and you’re both just pretending to know when you last met. There was no recognition in her eyes, and you don’t think you’d ever interacted with her. It was a nice connection you’d had, a shared lie always brings people together.

“Ken, told me you were here, but I thought you’d be gone by now.” Connor pulls you into a hug before saying, “Have you been taking care of yourself, sis?”

“I’ve been doing okay, normally as always.” Noticing his cast, she asks, “What’s up with your arm, Con’?”

“Oh, I was doing an Irish jig as one does, and boom I slipped and it bent in all different directions,” he describes in a strangely vivid way. “I’m feeling better though, Willa helped me recover, right sweetheart?”

“Yep,” she nodded, a smile on her face as she bore her eyes into mine – uncomfortable? Very.

Connor was probably the only one of your siblings you regularly spoke to, yes it was by phone, and no you didn’t always enjoy it, but there was a beautiful normalcy to speaking on the phone with your brother. With Kendall or Roman it always turned into business– about Dad. With Shiv it was her ranting about some political thing, well maybe that was before she turned so Waystar-loco. 

Connor was your normal brother.

“Have you heard of my recent presidential proclivities?” he asks, tilting his head as he looks at Willa for support – in which she enthusiastically nods her head.

Maybe he wasn’t exactly the most normal of brothers, but he was more normal than the brother who spoke about you having sex weirdly too much or the one who can’t stop fucking over your dad and snorting cocaine. 

You nod, but before you hear a tumble and watch Roman bending over a kneeling Kendall. What a fucking dick. Kendall’s girlfriend, who you also didn’t recognize was helping him up, and you stood there with no intention to help or rush in, frozen to your spot.

Connor shouts out, “Everyone take it easy, okay?” as Roman maniacally laughs and Kendall helps himself up. 

As Kendall walks past you, Connor, and Willa he grumbles, “Take your fucking coat off,” repeating it to Connor as he walks like a man scorned. Willa blocks Connor from Kendall trying to calm the younger brother down. You avert Kendall’s gaze, standing next to Willa blocking Connor who looks to the ground much like you.

Shiv seemingly walks away from the scene as well, but in the opposite direction from Kendall, and immediately after Willa and Connor walk arm in arm out, saying a quiet goodbye to you.

With one glance to Roman, who’s still muttering curses under his breath on the sofa chairs, you leave. You’d quickly sobered up, and it was time to face the darkness of New York. Walking out of the luxurious Manhattan skyscraper you peer at the artificially brightened roads and the strange silence of the backroads. Instead of taking an Uber or Taxi, you opt for the Subway. You didn’t take an allowance from your Dad like Connor did, you never inherited anything ever, and your last poetry anthology wasn’t lucrative enough to have casual taxi money. You were sure nothing would happen on the Subway, from experience you know that there would just be a few people throwing up and tired workers coming home from the night shift.

Before walking down into the station, you check your phone, one hand on the railing and the other carefully gripping onto your phone. Attention split both ways.

Unknown

Know who I am yet?

1 Missed Call from Unknown

Your heart skips a beat, an adrenaline rich positive-ending to the night beat skip.

Instead of heading inside, you turn around, sitting down on the top step of the stairs, hoping a coked up crypto-bro doesn’t push you down. 

Pressing the call, a part of you hopes he doesn’t pick up, so you can return to normalcy, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

“Bambi?”

You groan, “I thought the story would stop you from calling me that.”

“Not because of the story, it suits you–” he pauses, the line going crackly as you hear him talk to someone, “You’ve left the party?”

“Yeah, walking home now.” “Walking? This is America, ja? You’re on a death mission.”

“It’s not too late, you know serial killers only come out after two in the morning.”

“I can send a car, hmm? You can come over here.”

“What does ‘over here’ mean? To a stranger’s home?”

“You promised me something, didn’t you?”

“Hmmmm, a promise? I don’t remember.”

“Send me your location, I’ll get my guy to get you.”

“Okay, I’ll send my location to a stranger just because he was nice to me at my brother’s party.”

“See you soon then.”

____

The drive was awkward to Matsson’s (you preferred mystery man to what seemingly sounded like a last name, although it might be a first, Europeans were in themselves a mystery as well). The driver was quiet, and the car was a rich person’s. It was a car you were all too familiar with, the car you drove in during your childhood, the same tinted windows and leather seats.

Same thing of riding up to the penthouse of a hotel – he was only here temporarily you surmised. You’d probably be a one-time thing. 

When the elevator doors beep open and you’re in a hallway with one door, anxiety fills you up. What if this was a trap? If he was some sort of sexual pervert, or even worse an axe murderer with an even worse temper than anyone you could find on the New York streets?

But before you can even knock the door swings open and a hand pulls you in, “Fucking asshole,” you whisper as you feel his lips trace over yours, your breath in his. 

He’s rough, and rushed, like he’s a man starved – of you. 

As he starts tracing his fingers underneath your shirt you push his back, two hands on his chest as he kneels his head to meet yours. “What’s wrong?” “I don’t know your name,” you say, almost embarrassed that you hadn’t found it on your own, “Matsson? That’s your name.”

He doesn’t respond, just pulls you close to him, before picking you up into his arms. You restrain a squeal as you struggle in his arms. He navigates through the hallways, looking as though he was confused on the layout of his own homebase, he finds the bed – splaying you down and standing above you like an animal.

“You know, I refuse to orgasm without your name,” you insist. He moves closer and closer, uncharacteristically quiet as he pulls your shirt up laying a hand on your stomach, the other tracing over your soaked panties, slowly creeping towards your sensitive skin. 

He’s strangely gentle with it, until he pulls your panties to the side, spreading open your legs as he buries his face into your pussy. You move your two legs onto his shoulders, as plays with your nipples – languid twisting and faint touches that leave you just wanting more.

You let out a yelp as you feel his tongue move into you, like a fucking shark he dives into your clit as he watches you for your reaction. You know you look like a mess, breathless and desperate. “Please, please–” you moan, desperate for his tongue, for his touch, his everything. 

“Your pussy’s so good, baby– fucking heaven,” he whispers into where his head lay between your thighs. As he blows gently on it, you are wholly exposed and cold, you start squirming. Your thighs start pressing around his head, trying to push him further, which seemed to turn him on even more. Your legs start to shake as your orgasm builds up and builds up, you feel like screaming from the bliss of it, his attack on your pussy is like God reigning down on earth. “Refuse to orgasm, hmm? Want me to stop?”

You shake your head as he continues, “Please, keep going, keep going—” He listens to you, beginning to rub your clit as the feeling of everything continues to crash down on you

“Come baby, come.” He keeps on licking you up, every fucking crevasse. 

Your orgasm came hard and quick, with a groan and a twitch your eyes rolled over as you released his head from in between your thighs, and as quickly as he got there, he climbed on top of you – his larger body engulfing yours as he hurriedly kisses you. 

“I want to inside me,” you say into his ear, you could feel him from underneath his pants as he grabs your ass, groaning into you as you palm him. 

“Take off your fucking clothes,” he orders, as you do it, you take off the loose t-shirt you’d been wearing to Kendall’s party off slowly, you can feel him staring at your tits, and a part of you loves it. Loves the attention you get from him. As you take off your pants from where they are bunched up from your ankles, and then the greenish-blue granny panties you wear, you watch him take his suede pants and then his boxers off. Oh god, you feel yourself thinking as you stare at him. 

He picks you up as he brings his length into your entrance, rubbing it on your clit. He keeps going, relentless before he surprises you and slips it in, tilting your head towards him so he could watch you as he fucked you. 

You hear him groan as he starts with slow thrusts, he would push in and then wait five seconds before slowly sliding out— making sure you felt every inch of him. He was too big and you felt so full, with every time he pulled out you felt like five years were taken from your life span, that time had slowed down too much. You fucking needed him.

Of course he starts going fast, rough. There were no thoughts in your mind as you arched against him, and moaned in his mouth as he kissed you. Deeply and raw, like he had everything to lose and you would disappear in a heartbeat.

Pinning your hands above your head, he continues with his pace, passionately and without bore– “You’re so good for me, I just want to be inside you all the time,” he says a grin on his face as he watches your face before glancing down looking at his dick pound into you. 

He presses kisses to your throat as he whispers, “My name’s Lukas, Lukas Matsson–” strangely enough hearing his name sends you off the edge as you moan out unintelligibly, overstimulated as he keeps on going, getting more and more erratic. 

Not long after, he pumps into you a few more times before completely spilling inside of you, collapsing on top of you, not leaving your warmth as he buries himself deeper.

You don’t say anything afterwards, you let him lay on top of you as he stays inside of you all the same. It feels like time doesn’t pass as he wraps his arms around you, “Stay the night?” he asks, all you do is nod. 

You lay in silence for a few more seconds before you tell him, “I’m on birth control, by the way, pretty fucking risky to cum inside me without asking though.”

“I wouldn’t be mad at a little me running around if I could fuck you again.”

Not saying anything, you press a kiss to his neck before tucking yourself closer into his body– finding sleep comes to you when so often it fails you.

[saintsenara]

Absolutely no pressure if it really does make you uncomfortable to talk about but I would LOVE to hear about why dramione pisses you off... first and foremost because I'm a card-carrying dramione hater and there's nothing quite as enjoyable as a fellow hater articulating their haterade. Please. I'm handing you the mic. Go to town. (If you want!)

thank you very much for the ask, anon - and it's very sweet of you to ask whether dramione makes me sincerely uncomfortable [it doesn't, and if there's ever a day when i find harry potter shipping preferences that deep i shall face god and walk backwards into hell]. i subscribe to one belief in fandom above all others - that you can write yourself into, and out of, the most nonsensical premises if you are willing to engage with your characters in their full spectrum and if you have enough nerve. which is to say, there is almost certainly dramione out there that i would regard as interesting and well done, which feels coherent as a premise within which to situate both hermione and draco's canon selves, and which does so by being unsparing in how it deals with the whole "he thinks she's literally subhuman" thing...

but the reason i don't like dramione as a pairing is because i've never actually seen it done in a way that actually is interesting.

i'm on the record as a straightforward hater of fanon!hermione - the preternaturally perfect, incandescently beautiful "brightest witch of her age" [lupin means by this - please, i am begging you all to understand - that she's clever for a fourteen-year-old, not that she's some sort of epoch-defining intellect] who makes you wonder if we've all forgotten the early-00s flame wars over mary-sues. i am also on the record as a hater of the classic draco-in-leather-pants version of the other half of our pairing - draco is an insecure, pointy little dickhead whose jokes always flop, and he is so much more fun in this form than he is as the suavest man alive.

and, obviously, dramione is famous for being beholden to these characterisations [something, if i may, which is really letting harmony and snamione off the hook...]. and that is just so boring! even in a setting in which an author doesn't want to deal with the context of blood-supremacist prejudice - and good for them! why not! - i would much rather see fics think interestingly about how mashing draco and hermione's personalities together would actually go. how would he handle her constant need to debate things? how would she handle his fits of crippling jealousy? how would he handle her stubbornness? how would she handle his self-interestedness?

and i think something quite striking could actually come of this... as i've noted elsewhere, draco's narrative mirror is ron, who is obviously a ride-or-die hermione stan, and there is - therefore - a way set out within the arc of canon for thinking about how hermione and draco might interact. it could be a genuinely fantastic piece of enemies-to-lovers fun, but this would involve both hermione and draco's canonical characteristics being thought about [and harry and ron's: the former always seems to come around to dramione really quickly, while the latter is written as a death-eater-adjacent boor who doesn't want the woman who "belongs to him" to be happy], and i'm afraid that the vast, vast majority of dramione writing seems to have no interest in doing this when "just make him suave and her perfect" exists...

but, of course, there is a second major objection which i know many people have to dramione: that he is a member of a terrorist organisation which believes in eradicating people like her, and that he believes wholeheartedly in that organisation's beliefs.

and my feelings about this are more complicated.

because, to be frank, as someone who has - only this week - written harry having a sensual little snog with his parents' murderer, i can't really get up on my high-horse about people shipping the heroes with the villains. and, indeed, i won't - another fandom [and life!] principle i have is that the potential of redemption for everybody is one of the most important things about humanity; that even the most evil people can repent and repent sincerely; and that love is strange and unpredictable.

i do think something interesting could be done with draco having to unlearn literally everything about his life, and with both him and hermione grappling with their personal limits when it came to remorse and forgiveness as they realise that, against all the odds and no matter the heavy weight of the past, they want to make something together. but, once again, the standard move in dramione seems to be a sort of "nooo, he didn't really mean it!" or a "hermione gets over it immediately because he didn't rat them out when the snatchers caught them!" [no - he didn't rat harry out. he doesn't seem to have a problem with hermione getting tortured by bellatrix...] or a "well harry using sectumsempra means i'm over the fact he called me a mudblood" or "uwu he was sixteen". and, once again, i think it's dull!

and this, of course, brings us to the other category of dramione - the one in which she's a dirty little fucktoy for a sadistic pureblood lord. while this is at its worst in other hermione/death eater ships, we've all seen the fics: hermione is given to draco as a forced bride; hermione is given to draco as a sex slave; hermione is given to draco to be degraded etc.

i have no moral objection to people wanting to read and write this stuff, because i'm neither a cop nor a priest. my objection, once again, is that this is dull.

i think there is something really, really interesting which could be done with draco finding himself attracted to hermione despite what he's been raised to believe about her, above all for the way this could be used to play with the gendered dynamic we might expect to find when this trope is used.

discrimination is justified by societies - again and again throughout the course of history - with the claim that it protects women [and men's claim to them]. we can imagine easily that this is the same in the wizarding world because voldemort literally tells us so - in the opening chapter of deathly hallows he explicitly equates tonks' marriage to lupin as the cause of the "rot" in the black family tree, before he goes on to murder charity burbage while accusing her of supporting miscegenation.

what we see less frequently is the idea that men need to be protected from the other - societies are much more amenable to seeing men's behaviour as hypocrisy [and tolerating this] rather than moral corruption, and we can assume in the wizarding world that it would be perfectly acceptable for a pureblood man to have a muggleborn mistress or a half-blood love-child in a way it never would be for a pureblood woman.

so how does draco justify his attraction to hermione to himself? how does he keep her a secret? how does he think of women more generally, if he has a pureblood wife at home and a muggleborn woman he cheats on her with? does he see nothing contradictory about sneaking off into broom cupboards and then strutting into the slytherin common room and telling pansy parkinson that hermione is a digusting mudblood dog?

or, does he get the other side of the coin? do lucius and narcissa think he's being corrupted? is his temptation all-consuming? will he lie about hermione attacking him to save face? will he turn on the tears and place her in unimaginable danger and then feel only the slightest hint of regret?

and i just think that has so much more potential than your standard "draco's sadistic but, more importantly, he's hot" stuff.

because i will read things that are objectively baffling if they are, at least, interesting. dramione nation, i'm begging you... just be interesting.

[chloreen]

✨caution! Izzy rant ahead✨ Every time I see posts villainizing Izzy I'm slightly baffled. I know i should have gotten over it by now but making Izzy the villain is kind of missing the heart of the whole story? "But Gentlebeard is the heart of the story-" It's a story about found family. About dysfunctional people. People who err and fail and make horrible decisions and overcome their traumas. I know that's not lost on the fandom when it comes to Ed, not one little bit. He's all cute and bored when we meet him, right? Not the man who sets ships alight anymore, with all the people in them? Not a madman by any means, just a tired little boo who's ready to shake off Blackbeard's mantle? And it's great that he's ready. People get there. But what I get from many posts is that it's fine for Ed to get there when he's ready but Izzy had to follow him straight away into the land of the mentally healthy or fucking die. Only Izzy is just as dysfunctional as good old Ed if not more, and he's not ready, and nobody is asking him to be ready when they board the Revenge. The only person he feels close to in the world ignores him, Stede (understandably) offers him none of the talk-it-through treatment and the crew mocks him. All within reason, but when you have severe mental issues and trust issues and defense mechanisms your first instinct is not to open yourself up. It's to lock yourself down. Bite back at those who mock you. Attack those who disdain you. Destroy your chances of happiness, because you think you dont deserve it. Wrong approach? yes, god, yes, of course it is, but "wrong approach" is basically the title of every other episode in this show.

Now ,"I fed your darkness, Blackbeard" has been quoted as a closing statement more times than I can count. Everybody can read into "I fed your darkness" as they please; I know how I read into it. I've been in love with people who's darkness I fed and they fed mine in return. And I'm not even going to point any fingers here, regardless of how disproportionally abusive that relationship was. It's a we thing, it's always a we thing. Darkness feeds on darkness. Izzy didn't create Blackbeard. Izzy didn't burn that fucking ship with all the people in it. We don't even know if Izzy met Ed before he was Blackbeard or not. It was most likely a "we" thing, where they built together upon an existing structure, a joint tower of darkness. Feeding the myth, throwing all of their insecurities in it, creating a monster. Forging a bond not with the touch of silk and gentle fingers but with whatever nightmares you can imagine. So Izzy playing doctor Frankenstein to Ed's Kraken is…it's wrong, it's simply wrong. Ed was not a corpse when they met. He was not a blank slate. He was possibly already a mess of his own when the darkness-feeding started.

That turned out to be quite the rant but it's important for me to voice it. Izzy is far from blameless. Ed is far from blameless. A lot of other people in this show are technically far from blameless. But making a person who's a member of (the ofmd) family your villain? There are some straightforward villains in this show and then there are those who want to, crave to, strive to belong but have a hard time because they're so genuinely flawed.

[fractualized]

hi randomly picking your brain here! (imagine a literal batjokes brain picking situation though...)

I really like stories with a villain/hero ship, but I feel like they're always in favor of the hero -- tons of aus and potential with reformed joker (AND I LOVE THEM!!!)

but also, I personally love corruption AUs, and I love the idea of the villain reforming the hero. pulling the hero to the allure of the dark side and finally accepting some of the appeal that villainy brings to the table. being able to foster their love in an environment where their desire is no longer focused on others but themselves... and I know some of that happens with the batman who laughs, but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on joker successfully corrupting batman?

maybe it would be a fundamental crack in their foundation and wouldn't work in some iterations, but I love a challenge! maybe joker could convince Bruce that joker+batman on the same side of evil is less damage, more control, and more fun than batmanvs.joker on opposing sides. maybe less death would happen if Batman would play by jokers rules for a while! I feel like Bruce would at least explore the potential for that in his own head, even if he may not agree in canon, typically... even if it's just to play the long game and come back out again a stronger hero.

what do you think? 🫀

I haven't toyed around much with the idea of Joker corrupting Bruce. I've written Bruce doing shady/awful things, but they stem from his own issues and are usually, uh, bad for Joker.

The Batman Who Laughs basically illustrates why the idea's never grabbed me. Joker has built his life around acting in opposition to Batman. That's what he thinks is fun, getting under Bruce's skin. If Batman joined him in pure destruction, the challenge between them is gone. It's not their roles. It's why Joker considers TBWL an offense to the natural order. And more simply than that, I think Joker would get bored. It's the same as when he succeeds at killing Batman: yay, he did it! And… now what? It's easier to see Joker being reformed— or "reformed"— because there's still lots of ways he can start shit. 😂

Plus on Bruce's part, I can't think of a reason he would take that kind of turn that doesn't feel like a stretch, other than having his brain chemistry altered as in the case of TBWL. Like I did have the idea once of doing an inverted Halfway Across, in which Bruce gives up and joins Joker— but part of the inverse is that this story is a comedy and Bruce is just really bad at being evil. He'd drive Joker nuts by only stealing what they really need, giving people a chance to escape traps, freeing animals Joker tries to test on, etc. Which gets at the "less damage" aspect you mentioned, but I could still never think of a great reason Bruce would cross over to start with, even a goofy comedy reason.

But then again, that assessment is based on more modern takes on the characters. I could see it more with earlier versions, when Joker is obsessed with Batman but his crimes revolve around getting money or jewelry or funsies. Bruce is goofier too, and he hasn't, you know, dealt with any dead children.

And of course there are AUs, like in Telltale, where John starts out wanting Bruce's approval so it's easier to see him compromising with Bruce than your standard Joker. So you could have a universe where Bruce isn't as stringent about his principles— but then it feels less like corruption, and you lose the fun!

Hmmm, there is Omega in Last Knight on Earth. Joker was not a fan, but maybe we take a similar scenario. There's an utter catastrophe, and Bruce is broken, and when he has the choice to rally his usual worldview like he always does, Joker is there and convinces him otherwise. But then I still come back to: would Joker get bored? Maybe that's just part of the story. Joker is entertained by guiding Evil Novice Bruce for a while, but inevitably turns on him, mocking him for abandoning the principles that made him such a great nemesis. And then Bruce realizes he's truly lost everything! 🙃

[nanaosaki3940]

Romance Manhwa You All Should Read...

So there are a few Korean manhwa that I have been reading recently. Some are new manhwa which I just picked up to read while the others are old ones that I read before and now I'm re-reading them again. All of them are of modern-setting with the premise of high school or college romance. 🥰🥰🥰

The new ones that I'm reading for the first time -

My First Love Hate

Seasons Of Blossom

Our Secret Alliance

Just Twilight

I Don't Hate Us

Cheese In The Trap

Revelation Of Youth

Operation Name: Pure Love

The Law Of Being Friends With A Male

My Introverted Boy

See You in My 19th Life

The old ones that I've read before and now re-reading them again -

Something About Us

Positively Yours

Marked By King BS

The ones that I haven't read yet but want to get into it -

Romance 101

My Younger Brother's Friends

Rewriting Our Love Story

1 Plus 1

Villain With A Crush

This Must Be Love

Now I wanna talk about some of the Manhwa series that I recently read in the last couple of days...

Our Secret Alliance

Manhwa Status: Completed Troupe: Childhood best friends turned lovers. THE NO. 1 BEST FUCKING "CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TURNED LOVERS" TROUPE MANHWA OUT THERE💘!! PERIOD😤!!!

No, seriously. I really enjoyed reading this series, and OMG !!! Female lead Se-i Yun and male lead Jaeha Kim are so fucking adorable!!! Se-i is a cutie, for sure, and seeing Jaeha as a boyfriend in this story raised my "boyfriend" expectations to an unrealistic height...

Also warning: you'll encounter a soft, bashful male lead here... so beware!!!

Seasons Of Blossom

Manhwa Status: Completed This story has four different parts: Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter. And damn, the stories are so good, y'all!!

(This is gonna be a LONG rant here btw...)

I really loved the 1st part of the series "Bomi's Flower" which is the season of Spring. The sweet female lead (Bomi Yun), one of the most popular and studious girls in school, has a little crush on the 2nd male lead (Jaemin Lee), another popular kid in school, but later finds out that her best friend/2nd female lead (Seonhui Kang) also has a crush on Jaemin. But the thing is everyone in their school ships Bomi and Jaemin together as a romantic couple. Seonhui also shows her genuine support to Bomi as a good friend if she ever tries to get together with Jaemin, but Bomi knows that deep down inside her heart Seonhui is hurting by the fact that Jaemin likes Bomi and everyone ships them, meaning her love towards Jaemin is unrequited. So to save her friendship with Seonhui and also to save Seonhui from a potential heartbreak, Bomi gets into a fake relationship with the male lead (Jinyeong Choi), so that Seonhui and Jaemin get the chance to be together... But the thing is Jinyeong is the complete opposite of Bomi. Unlike Bomi, Jinyeong is blunt, ruthless with his words, always has a straight bored look on his face, and has an "I don't give a fuck" kinda attitude. He doesn't fuck around and hates those typical high school dramas and bullshit. Even though he's a gaming otaku and only has two male friends, he's quite famous among the students; guys want to be friends with him because of his game recommendations and girls think he's really cute. Also despite the fact that he's shorter than Bomi in height, my man has balls for sure when it comes to speaking up about his mind or taking action for anything.

This story talks about how opposites attract one another, how to discover and learn new yet unexpected things, how to fall in love for the first time in life and that sweet feeling like falling in love in your youth, and how to break out of your own shell and discover a new side of yourself. This 1st part of the series will give you nothing but fluff, sweetness, and butterflies.

And then later comes the 2nd part of the series, the season of Summer aka Hamin's Flower...

Okay, this one was really tough to get through. Not because the story sucked or anything. It's because of how painful, angsty, and heartbreaking it is. In the 1st part (Bomi's Flower aka Spring), we get to know that the 2nd male lead Jaemin Lee had an older brother named Hamin Lee (the golden child of the family) who died 6 years ago by committing suicide. We don't get much info about Hamin Lee in the 1st part (other than the fact that he's Jaemin's brother) until it comes to an end and the 2nd part begins. The 2nd part opens up with Jaemin Lee and the gang bumps into a 24-year-old art college student named Somang Han who happens to be Hamin's girlfriend from high school. Through Somang's narration and flashbacks, we get to know what kind of person Hamin Lee was, how she and Hamin met and fell in love, and how he spiraled into depression which resulted in him ending his own life. And also through Jaemin, we get to know more about Hamin as a son and a brother and how their parents' rough parenting pushed him to darkness and depression. At first, when Hamin was first mentioned in the 1st part, I didn't think much about him and only felt empathy for Jaemin for losing his older brother. But after getting introduced to Hamin in the 2nd part and learning more about him through Somang and Jaemin's POV and narrations, I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out for him in every single chapter. It got even worse for me since I already knew where the story was going and what was going to happen to Hamin in the end (it was more like the Shinichiro Sano effect from Tokyo Revengers like you know who Shinichiro is and what happened to him but that doesn't stop you from falling in love with him despite him being dead throughout the whole series). RIP Hamin Lee; my heart will always go out to you, forever, always.

The 2nd part Hamin's Flower aka Summer talks about some heavy topics/subjects like - dysfunctional families, rough parenting going wrong, dealing with societal burdens and depression, losing your loved ones and dealing with the aftermath, your first tragic love story, handling regrets and dealing with your traumas, how to overcome those traumas, and finally how to let go of your past and move on with life.

Hamin's Flower left me in such a numb and gloomy state that I couldn't read the other two parts (Autumn and Winter), but I'll try to get back and read them sooner or later. Even though I haven't read the complete series yet, I'll still give out a biased statement - I really, really loved Bomi's Flower and Hamin's Flower, and these two parts will always gonna be my favs from this series (doesn't matter to me if Autumn and Winter are better than these two).

Cheese In The Trap

Manhwa Status: Completed The oldest series in this list...

This story... this story... Oh God, where should I begin?!?! I can't believe that I didn't read this until now!! This is a truly mature love story. If you read this wanting a simple light college romance, this is not for you. While there are very cute interactions between the main character and her love interests, it is a very well-thought-out and complex manga - definitely the most realistic I have read thus far. The character development is out of this world and adds a sense of tangibility to the characters that you really don't see in fiction normally. To explain, the important main and side characters in any story are always bound by rules of development to identify them as cogs in a narrative; we have underlying expectations about what the characters might do, or how they might subvert those expectations. But, this webtoon is the study of social relationships and the nature of people. You get to see that there will always be some sort of social hierarchy, that there are meanings and repercussions beyond what you expect to happen in life, and that we all have some degree of victim and perpetrator in us. We all cope and process in different ways, while also continuing and evolving in life the way we know how. Unlike anything I have ever read before.

Also, this story is under the tag of "Psychological Drama" and it's all because of the male lead named Jung Yu. God, I've such a love-hate relationship with him, y'all!! Like I love him but also hate him at the same time. He's mysterious, charming, alluring yet so damn confusing. Also, the fact that he's a sociopath with a bit of a Yandere-ish tendency in him and that he's also obsessed with the female lead (Seol Hong) in a very twisted way??? He's a walking red flag for sure, but then again not... In short, Jung Yu is a complex character and my simple brain just can't comprehend him. I also love the female lead (Seol Hong), the 2nd male lead (Inho Baek), and Seol's two best friends (Bora Jang and Euntaek Kwon). The only important side character I despise is Inho's twin sister Inha Baek (don't ask why; just go and read it for yourself and you'll know why... also I hate those bully characters too btw, just so you know...).

I Don't Hate Us

Manhwa Status: Completed Troupe: Childhood best friends turned lovers.

Another series with "childhood best friends turned lovers" troupe done right!!

The female lead (Wonsu Ha) and the male lead (Jaesu Sang) have been childhood best friends since their middle school days. They had been best friends through high school and college until one day Wonsu got herself a boyfriend. Jaesu has romantic feelings for Wonsu, but she only sees him as a friend and has platonic love for him. Wonsu then breaks up with her boyfriend, not because the guy is a cheater but because they aren't that compatible with each other, so they mutually break up and separate. Wonsu also gets separated from Jaesu because his romantic feelings for her were getting in the way of their friendship at the time, and also her relationship with her ex-boyfriend took a toll on her mentally and emotionally, so she cut off all her connection and simply focused on her studies and graduating from university. Years later, now working in a small yet growing company, Wonsu reconnects with an adult and more mature Jaesu, who now works in a multinational corporation, and that's when sparks and butterflies start to fly left, right, and center. Almost all the characters are likable, the story and the plot are realistic, and overall it was an enjoyable read for me truly.

Also warning: you'll encounter a soft, bashful male lead here... so beware!!! I mean, the fact that despite the bad boy looks and everything, he's so cute like a puppy is fucking adorable, yo!!!

My First Love Hate

Manhwa Status: On-going Troupe: Childhood best friends turned lovers

This one came out this year and so far I'm really enjoying it. Just like the previously mentioned series above, the female lead (Eunha Kang) is relatable, funny, smart, studious, strong-willed, and whatnot. The male lead (Seungmin Ha) is Eunha's childhood best friend since elementary school but they stopped hanging out with one another ever since he became a delinquent back in high school despite the fact that they went to the same school and were in the same classroom. Years later, Eunha got into a prestigious university in Seoul and later learned that Seungmin was also at that university!! Not only that, he also stopped being a delinquent for good and suddenly started dressing up like a nerdy college boy. When Eunha asked what he was trying to do, Seungmin simply replied that he was returning back to his old self again and wanted to reconnect with Eunha... But things got a bit spicy all of a sudden when a tattoo-bodied 2nd male lead named Ryu Seonhoo walked into the scene and Eunha had to tutor him for the GED test on a regular basis...

Also warning: you'll encounter a soft, bashful, puppy-like male lead AND 2nd male lead here... so beware!!!

Just Twilight

Mahwa Status: Ongoing Troupe: Strangers to friends to lovers

I won't say anything about it... JUST FUCKING READ THIS SHIT ALREADY!!!

If you're a fan of another famous manhwa series called "Positively Yours", then you'll also love this series since it's written by the same author. The female lead (Junyoung Yun) is literally my spirit animal and the male lead (Beomjin Kwon) is such a husbando material, y'all... like, just look at him!!!

That's all for now... I'll make more Korean manhwa recommendation posts again very soon!!!

My manhwa recommendation list posts - Link 1, Link 2, and Link 3.

[lavenderfieldsforvr]

okay so i had a dream about morph.

i was watching like a lost episode of tas (or movie? it was some sort of lost media with the tas cast) and morph was there and i was really excited. the xmen went to some kinda hotel for some reason, i guess they were on vacation. but weird shit started happening, they were attacked by an unknown villain(s) and so typical xmen stuff ensued. morph was more a background character, like how they are in the first two episodes of tas, but i was just happy they were there at all. i remember they did get taken hostage by the villain at one point, to be like "we'll kill your friend if you dont do what we want" blah blah. morph cant catch a break even in dreams i guess. but that scene only lasted a brief second.

the really interesting part is the end before i woke up, when magneto showed up and was like we need to evacuate the hotel (this was set in tas so im not sure why magneto is bossing them around but oh well) so the xmen all climb aboard the ship with him, and turns out they were on an island (i guess genosha? which would explain magneto) and they fly off. but see, wolverine was like trapped under a bunch of rubble at this point, i dont quite remember what happened but he was fighting and had an incident and the xmen left him for dead for some goddamn reason. so it cuts back to the hotel and wolverine claws his way out as he does, pretty much unscathed. but when he's wandering around he finds morph still there (playing darts for some reason, i guess they got bored) morph also got left behind, which confused and angered me in the dream, but i assume they probably stayed behind for wolverine.

wolverine goes up to them and he's like "wtf bub" and morph is like "yeah so we're stuck here i guess. wanna play darts?" and thats right around when i woke up. i remember forcing myself to stay half asleep another second because i wanted to hear what morph had to say. i also remember they were the clearest part of the dream despite not doing a whole lot, it was like they were colored brighter than everything else. they were in their human form like tas but they weren't wearing their jacket for whatever reason. it was fascinating, maybe ill draw something for it idk.

[mcrololo]

I've thought more often recently that Bleach really deserved more recognition from the shounen community, especially back in the day. Shounen fans loved to say Ichigo was a boring protagonist and that the story sucked in comparison to more beloved titles. But the first arc alone is about dealing with death and the loss of a loved one. Arguably the entire series represents finding connection with others, even through death, and isn't it beautiful that for the brief time we got to know each other, we left a mark in both our lives?

Regardless of ships, meeting Rukia was the greatest turning point in Ichigo's life. She was death in a different way than he has dealt with before. Death isn't just an ending, death is also the beginning of a new cycle, and after meeting her we see Ichigo connect more with his living friends.

Orihime, who had lost her brother to a car accident when she was younger (and no living family left). Ichigo helped both her and her brother make peace with it, and ever since, Orihime and Ichigo are connected. Without Rukia (death), none of that would have happened.

Sado, who reflects Ichigo in some way; both having lost a beloved family member and are willing to go the extra mile for others. He helps Sado help a spirit to the beyond. Without Rukia, none of that would have happened.

And even in other arcs, Ichigo leaves his mark on powerful souls! He reunites the gotei captains even when some of them aren't fond of each other. He brings Renji back in contact with Ikkaku, an old squad mate before he ranked up. He closes the gap between Rukia and Byakuya. And for most of it he doesn't even need to be the powerful protagonist... he just needs to be himself.

Which brings me to another point; his relatability. This is where he kind of suffers in terms of appealing to a fanbase which is used to high fantasy-like stories. Main heroes in shounen always dream of something bigger, whether it's a rank or a power they can unlock or something else entirely, like a treasure to find. Ichigo doesn't have a dream. He has a goal which keeps evolving. He wants everyone he cares about to be safe, and will do anything in his power to protect them.

Isn't that incredibly human? We all want our loved ones to be safe and happy. Sure, he could have dreamt big and become a captain of a squad in the living realm. But that doesn't make sense for him or the story, because we get introduced to captains in the second arc, and at that point they are the villains. It would be in the start of the third arc if we were to discover such a desire, and at that point it's kind of too late to establish.

Not to mention he would lose the simplicity of his humanity. Sometimes all you have to do is your best. Sometimes you only have to care. And that, to me, is what Ichigo represents as a main character. Even when the world spits you out, even when it seems the whole world is against you: never forget to care. Never forget to be kind. You never know who needs it the most.

And my last point on Ichigo himself and what makes him relatable: his ever evolving powers. At times it gets boring when a hero keeps receiving power up after power up, especially when there were no hints prior. But in Ichigo's case, that kind of has a purpose. He goes from human to shinigami to vizard to fullbringer to half quincy as well, and you might sigh deeply and think to yourself "really? This guy gets ALL the special powers?" Yes. Because his story is also about identity, and in turn, the struggles that go with it.

From the very day we meet him, we never learn Ichigo's desires in life. What does he want to be when he grows up? What drives him? What is he scared of? Who is he? And the truth is... he doesn't know. He's 15, and suddenly the weight of not just his friends but the whole world lies on his shoulders. He doesn't have time to pause and think about irrelevant stuff like a future career. His power ups reflect this. Who IS ichigo if he falls in every category?

And personally, I believe that is the most realistic way to write a guy stuck between worlds. Maybe it wasn't entirely deliberate, but the metaphor is there. The narrative even emphasizes it! And yes, repetitive plot points will become boring if you keep using them. However, just like his power ups, it serves another purpose.

The pathway of life. We all have lessons we need to learn to work through challenges we face, and if we don't learn them the first time, the problems will just reappear in a different manner until we find the solution to navigate. Ichigo needing to save a loved one from the clutches of evil is, in and of itself, the lesson he has to learn, as well as a challenge to face head on. He is the protector, and until he fully embraces it, he will always run into a problem like this. And we see him gradually pick up the burden of being a hero: from refusing to fight hollows to help random spirits to protecting the whole of Soul Society.

Tl;dr: Bleach's narrative is way more functional and reflective of ourselves than the anime community gives it credit for. From dealing with death and connecting to identity struggles. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[little-elf-wanders]

Let's be real solavellan romancers, if your inquisitors were the ones to talk to Solas instead of Varric only one of two things would happen. (Please note, this isn't me trashing your love of the ship, it's just a realistic take on how the game would be a nightmare to navigate if that moment had an Inquisitor instead of Varric.)

Your Lavellan would join him if you couldn't redeem him. I've seen so many of you be ride or die for this egg (I don't get it cause I don't like Solas or his plan but we love a power couple regardless, unlock that villain era bestie) which means the developers would need to add an Inquisitor as an actual boss or person to fight later as Rook. In no world is that able to be made in the game - at least not from a previous PLAYER CHARACTER because it's simply too much work to get right and logistically? Impossible to get perfect - it'd need a shit ton of time and you all have so many head canons that one thing being wrong would be upsetting at best but a game ruiner at worst. Unless the game HAS that amount of choice from the get go, which it doesn't, it's not a realistic avenue. (Nvm all the damn dialog they'd need to do or class versions.) To divert that, Inquisitor just shouldn't be there OR shouldn't be a combatant; so who would? Varric. Maybe they're on their way to join up, maybe they're on their own investigation of Solas but they aren't there YET. Events need to happen for the game to kick off. Otherwise it's just... the Solavellan show. (I do understand you want a big reunion, a lot of others do too. I'm desperate to meet Zevran again as Warden and not have it be buggy or ruined, but it won't happen. Also Fenris. Again, won't happen. At most we get little mentions and it's back to the game. You need to be slightly more realistic with expectations on the part Inquisitor will play with Solas - maybe you'll get your dreams to come true, I don't want to shit on them personally, tragic romances are fun, redemptions can be fun, but it just wouldn't have happened in that scene is all I mean.)

2. The whole game would be rendered moot because your Lavellan showed up and convinced him to stop and I guess Rook's part in it has no point being there. Because if Solas were to stop, the ritual gets fucked anyway from what the gameplay suggested, stopping it mid way meant it would release the old gods he'd locked away - he was never going to compromise that part. For anyone. He's very 'fuck this version of Thedas I don't agree with'. Your Lavellan being there wouldn't have changed a single thing by that point and it wasn't supposed to be stopped, it's the whole reason for the game - he was already in the middle of it - and it would just be harder to script because... well. Not everyone wanted to romance Solas, and his romance actually feels very conditional to him admitting things or nearly admitting things. A high approval platonic Solas never comes close to the level of vulnerability he showed with a romanced Lavellan. Which would change a lot, or in a lot of peoples eyes should change a lot. But even then, then it'd be LAVELLAN'S fault and Solas would be a Changed Man from the get go with zero exploration for Rook? That's boring imo. It'd place the Fuck Up on Lavellan's shoulders. Not Rook's. Any way you spin it afterwards, scenarios where a Lavellan is involved, you would be angry of the outcome even if Rook still did what they did. An Inquisitor would be upset at Rook for going ahead with the statue shove anyway and not waiting. So now you have a Rook vs Lavellan/Inquisitor scenario to consider with tension dialog to add in. It's just WAY too much for game developers to write, animate and scenario because if Inquisitor was there in general...Lets step away from this moment in the mindset of romance and just add an Inquisitor, because if your Lavellan is there then if not romanced an Inquisitor would be in her place. It's the same impossibly long to make happen scene with too many variables to add in. Different races, classes, reactions from Solas, dialog from Inquisitor. Too much from the previous game. With Varric, they at least can make it happen and know only some won't be happy but everything runs smoother storybeat wise. Everything still happens. They only need to write one cutscene. One script with the mindset of Rook's reactions. Not Rook AND Inquisy. Or Rook AND Lavellan.

I get the wish for Lavellan to be there for her love, with her love, to convince her love but... just on a game level, I get why previous playable characters haven't had massive roles in games with new heroes. It seems like an exhaustive nightmare.

Please don't misunderstand me, in an ideal world, you get a reunion with Solas where the game developers had the time. I hope you get your tragedy romance or redemption options - despite me not liking Solas, I do hope they do something to make me change my mind, it'll be a little too late in my own Lavellan's eyes but... at least it'd be an option.

I might feel a little cheated as a player who didn't get the same consideration for renunions, however, because this a slippery slope for Hawkes and Wardens. And even Inquisitors with non-Solas romance partners. Just because my character didn't happen to romance the future antagonist they have less impact? It feels dodgy. So there has to be reasons not to shoehorn the Inquisitor in while still letting you have some sort of moment. I think having Varric there is a good way to get around that headache. I don't want to ruffle any of your feathers, I just saw a load of comments on youtube about it and had to get my take out there.

My views on him aside, Solas is a compelling villain. His story is tragic and pathetic and there's potential for a lot of ways they can go. I just hope we get those options and aren't strong armed into accepting his initial goal because 'these two are WORSE than me look!'

My Lavellan:

[sukibenders]

I really enjoy Yellowjackets but the way it throws its poc characters to the side, the way the fandom does is so unsurprising but saddening at the same time. Shauna is one of my favorite characters, she's cool and stuff but, being honest, the trope of housewife having an affair because she's bored of her current life has been played before. So what if this one had certain elements outside of it, it's still common so it kind of grew tiring to see Yellowjackets constantly shove this plot at me when Tai's storyline is right there.

Taissa, a biracial woman who, even after living through something horrific as a kid, "bounced back" and lived the life she always wanted. She was a lawyer, now ran for and won a position in office, married a beautiful and smart woman and had a son, has a whole perfect family who she loves. Only for the trauma, the aspect of her life she promised herself and others to never talk about, is now coming back and in the process causes her to do things she doesn't want to do. The plot that could have come from Taissa alone is out of this world. You mean to tell me that a biracial lesbain running for office wouldn't be more entertaining than Shauna's storyline? Why couldn't Tai be the main focus?

And I don't even want to get into the fandom, but I have too. Listen, I like TaiVan for all that they are. They helped each other survive during a time where they thought it would be impossible. But what annoys me and, sadly, almost pushed me away from this ship, was how the writers and fans treat Simone and Sammy. Like the shows only way to have Tai together with Van was to put her wife in a coma and abandoned her son? That really does not sound like Tai, who fought to get her old life. And very insidious how some fans make certain jokes that just reek of "Let's push away the black characters to make room for the yte ones", because I've seen people call Simone the villain, to other things, just because she told Tai to get help all while framing Van as the better option. I've seen people in the fan call Sammy unnatural or even a demon just because he exists in a way that is not natural, by that I mean acting out and expressing coping mannerisms because he saw a version of his mother who terrified him but can't express, but I forgot because he's a little black boy who needs help people will ignore him or dehumanize him, because that's how this works right? The shows main, and only dark-skinned black characters were quickly pushed aside by the plot for what?

And I have a feeling the show may make us watch Taissa go through great lengths to keep Van alive (even though I do want Van to live), but won't extend the same want to Simone, which will read badly with the undertones in so many ways.

And the fandom treats Tai poorly as well (don't even get me started on some pretending to care about her family just to hang it over her head and call her a deadbeat) and reaching some nearly very ableist thinking when talking about her. Taissa deserved so much better, from the show and the fandom, and I hope they do better in season three but I'm not so sure to be honest, because most of the scenes even having mentions of Tai's blackness were because of Jasmine, not the showrunners, who it would be fine if it were small things here and there but to add so many crucial parts to your character because others won't begins to become a pattern.

[atlasdoe]

Unpopular Marauders opinions

i'm bored so here are some opinions that i'm too scared to say on any other platform

Deciding that Pandora Lovegood had to be from a death eater family (Rosier, Malfoy, Lestrange) was the worst thing this fandom ever did to her character

The fannon characterisation of Marlene McKinnon gives me massive self inset pick me vibes and i hate every part of it (and i really mean every part of it)

This fandom isn't misogynistic y'all are just too demanding and expect the fandom to be the exact same as any other where we have a hardcore cannon source for every one of these characters and ships. we do not. we know more about Barty Crouch Jr then we do about Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald and Dorcas Meadowes combined. it's unrealistic and stupid to expect everyone to care about the same characters and ships to the same capacity as you do when we are not watching/reading the same thing. (if any of that makes sense)

Barty Crouch Jr, Evan Rosier and pretty much every single other death eater were villains. it's okay to like them and want to expand on them but stop trying to make every bad guy secretly good

We cannot keep blaming Dumbledore for everything. Dumbledore had nothing to do with half of the deaths that you are accusing him of. blaming Dumbledore and headcannoning that he obliviated Mary and turned Regulus away and all that takes away from everyone else's characters, sacrifice and choices

The Marauders weren't child soldiers. They had a choice on if they wanted to join the Order or not and they chose to because they're Gryffindors and they're The Marauders and probably thought of themselves as some invisible hero's. They don't need to be seen as victims to Dumbledore for them to be tragic

There is a cannon and you cannot be mad at people for wanting to stick by it

Similarly Fannon Sirius is against cannon. Sirius is one of the primary adult characters in the Harry Potter series. He is literally the title character to the fan favourite book/film. We have so much information about how he acts and "oh Remus i'm your little bitch please let me sit on your lap because i'm only small" ISNT ONE OF THEM

Death to alpha male Remus. DEATH I SAY

This fandom is so obsessed with making every character tragic that the word has lost all meaning. It is possible for Mary to be happy yknow???

Someone in the fandom: "hey look at this cannon character who seems quite interesting" The rest of the fandom: "how can we make this character have some kind of relation to every other character that we already care about??" IM SO SICK OF IT!!! NOT EVERYONE HAS TO BE DATING EVERYONE

Stop trying to change the name of the Slytherin Skittles. Yes it's a stupid name but it's somehow stuck and you're not changing that. just let it be

I ship Remus with anyone who is not more then a year younger then him and i mean literally everyone. Give me Remus and Voldemort fanfic for all I care

I've already said this before but the prank is overrated

Leave my girl Emmeline alone. Why are y'all shipping her with Barty?? Why are you making her the other women to Marlily?? Why are you making her anything but a Ravenclaw?? Do you hate her?? She hasn't done anything to you😭😭 (no but seriously tho i get that headcannons are headcannons but Emmeline is my girl and i have been expanding on her character since 2019 when no one gave a rats arse about her so seeing her shipper with BARTY ruined my life)

That's all i can think of for now please don't hate me but if you wanna talk send me an ask or reply cause i love talking about this kind of stuff :)