#and only time i could sleep was when my mom would let me vent about how genuinely paranoid and out of touch with reality i felt

[maxellminidisc]

Genuinely preferred when my OCD made me extremely obsessed with checking body signals and my health or like even when it made me so paranoid I may have been possessed enough to start doing stupid routines and "rituals" to make sure I wasnt, than it having manifested into intense intrusive thoughts (i had them every now and then over the years when I was super stressed but they fucking skyrocketed and persisted about late in the year two years ago and worsened until now). Idk how the fuck I got the strength to start managing them on my own with no support, because its genuinely so so distressing you dont ever want to tell anyone about it ever lest they see you as monstrously as you see yourself.

[kyunniebuns]

˗ˏˋ Entry : 057 - Lover! Sung Jinwoo x Fem! Reader: Drabbles ◛⑅·˚ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠 ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Every Little Thing You Are ] ¡! ❞

[ Why are you still awake? ] [ I don't have my online status on how'd u know:0? ] [ Instinct. ] [ Lmfao what is that supposed to mean? ] [ Get off the game. ] [ DD:] [ I'm picking you up in five minutes, we're taking a walk ]

Why does your boyfriend suddenly sound like a mom out of nowhere, hahah? No wonder Jin-ah occasionally complains to you, her brother is basically an annoying mama hen habitually.

So, you awkwardly dress for the cold outside on top of your pajamas and wait for Jinwoo to arrive on your front door.

You really only waited for three minutes and he's already there, pressing the doorbell.

"You are such a handful"— Was the first thing Jinwoo said when you opened the door for him. "You stay up until late at night and then complain the next day that you feel drowsy and tired."

"...Okay, mom" You pout, earning a flick on the forehead from your own lover before intertwining your fingers together.

"I'm your boyfriend" He corrects,

"Well, it's not my fault you appear more like a mom sometimes" You quip back and he could only sigh at your stubborness

꒰ .... ꒱

Midnight walks was Jinwoo's preferred method of easing you into the night. He knew you had trouble sleeping on most nights due to stress and anxiety. He wasn't the kind of boyfriend who would bug you to tell him about your day, he lets you vent to him when he knows you're ready to start explaining how your day is comptely terrible.

When you're agitated, he doesn't enjoy it.

Not that you take your anger out on your beloved.

Of course not, neither of you will ever land a hand on one another. Well, to be frank, even if you do hit Jinwoo— he wouldn't really care.

But tonight? The priority is to tire you out for an instant knockout.

The only thing that broke the serene silence between the both of you is the crunching of grass and gravel underneath the both of you as the chilly breeze whistles on the air.

You could feel Jinwoo squeeze your hand more, as if reminding you that you aren't alone at the moment and you don't have to be so stiff in the face of such the cast darkness of the park you're both taking your walk in.

"Hey, take a look" Jinwoo peers behind a bush where a frog is croaking.

"Eek!" You squeak, backing up immeadiately.

"???" Your lover blinks, "It's just a frog"

Well it's a slimy little thing but it's not bad compared to the horrors he had gone through with the gates before regressing through time.

"Sung Jinwoo, put that down right now!" You cry out as Jinwoo picked up the frog with his gloved left hand.

"Come on, it's a bit cute actually" Jinwoo smiles, as if he was brewing evil in that stupidly fluffy head of his.

And just like you expected, he started chasing you around with the frog croaking (maybe crying). While you sob for mercy, Jinwoo is laughing in bliss at messing around.

"What are you, five?!"

"Nah, it's just cute at how scared you are"

"I'm breaking up with you!"

"Hahah, nice try"

You were about to ball out of the park until Jinwoo yanked you back by your waist.

"Ew, ew, ew!" You squirm, "Don't hold me with your slimy hand!"

He mused, "I removed the glove, why are you still so cranky?"

"No!"

You whine and attempt to free yourself but his hold on you is as steady and unmoving as a mountain.

"Done?" Jinwoo asks, rubbing your stomach affectionately when you finally stopped struggling against him.

"You just brought me out here to make fun of me" You glare at him,

Jinwoo chuckles, pecking your lips briefly. "Maybe?"

"I'm really breaking up with you"

"Very funny."

He knows you'll never leave him anyway, just as he is in too deep in this whirlwind of love— So are you.

Only that Jinwoo is willing to do so much more in the name of his affections for you.

But that's a story for another day and another time, right now— He just wants to indulge in you underneath this moonlit evening.

꒰ 🪼 A/N: I'm very burnt out atm, I'll rest up for a bit before I start doing more fics and such. I have a lot of things in mind to do including lads and hsr. I'm very tired atm for no reason ahahahsa I jst wanna sleep. So please excuse me for this terrible short fluff ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧: ~ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[nyxiswrites1200]

𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒎

Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFT, MDNI, OOC(?), Implied Age gap, p in v, fingering, praise, pet names, size kink, nipple play, oral sex, body insecurities, aftercare

Mentions: Reader is a single mom, Reader is implied to be younger than Toji, Pet names (mama, darling, daddy)

AO3 Link

AN: So, this is my first Toji fic mostly because I wasn't a fan of him but fine he's hot 😮‍💨 so please don't shit on me if this is bad.

----

Sometimes it really was too much. You wouldn't trade your kid for anything in the world. You loved your child, they were everything to you. However, ever since your ex-boyfriend left about a year ago, things haven't been easy. 

It was hard to find any time for yourself. Even years after pregnancy, you were still suffering from some mental struggles. Between work and raising the kid on your own, there wasn't much time to take care of yourself. 

Toji had recently moved into the apartment building. Only a few doors down from you. He didn't take much notice of you until you bumped into him one morning, quite literally. 

Toji was heading to the elevator so he could go to the gym on the first floor. Meanwhile, you were heading off to work and dropping your kid off at daycare. 

Your head was overflowing with thoughts. You were thinking about the bills and what to fix for dinner, along with the small amount of sleep you managed. You felt overwhelmed with embarrassment and almost disappointment in yourself when you bumped into the brick wall that is Toji. 

“Oh god, I'm so sorry” you quickly said as Toji met your gaze. 

He took in your appearance. From the color of your eyes to your figure, even noticing the weary look on your face. 

There wasn't much you could say for yourself. That one coincidental meeting turned into ‘good mornings’ when you left for work; they turned into him knowing your kid’s name, and eventually you hired a babysitter to spend your night with Toji. 

“Hey mama” he smirked as he let you into his apartment. It was cleaner than you expected. You didn't really know how to act around Toji sometimes. His presence took up so much space, and just his aura alone was dominating. You didn't know much about Toji, but a part of you didn't want to know too much. You already felt your emotions were out of line with Toji. The simple act of him placing his large hand on your lower back made your skin warm. 

The both of you ended up watching a movie on the couch. Which eventually leads to Toji listening to your rambling.

“I'm just so fucking tired…” you sigh, rubbing a hand over your face. “Between work and my kid, and my bastard ex leaving” you groaned with annoyance. You weren't sure why you were telling him all this, but you needed a vent so badly. 

“Mm, the bastard left you alone with the kid?” Toji rasped; he knew he wasn't a perfect parent. You didn't know that, however. But Toji knew how young your kid was, and he's met enough women to know it wasn't easy for you. Plus, the postpartum depression of any child birth is hard to conquer. 

“Yeah” you sigh in response. “Everything was fine in our relationship; I don't know why he changed like that…”. 

Toji did feel a little insincere when it came to you. He wanted to be honest, but he didn't know if that would do either of you any good. At first, he did just want to sleep with you, but now? He felt infatuated. 

“People change, it’s hell but it happens” he responds. Toji places his hand on your thigh and rubs it gently. “But you didn't deserve that, darling” he comforts. The action sends a familiar feeling to the space in between your thighs. 

A part of you gives into reason and thinks you should leave, but Toji must have noticed. “Let me take care of you. You work so hard, mama. Just let a real man take care of you” he rasps. He needed you, and you wanted him. 

“I don't much remember how to let someone…take care of me” you sigh but Toji doesn't mind. “Let me help you remember” he smirks. 

Toji leans in close, and you respond, giving him the silent answer he needs. He kisses you; he’s firm and a bit rough. But you kind of liked it. 

Kisses turn into making out, tongues tasting one another, and then his hands slip into your panties. Pulling away from the kiss leaves a trail of drool connecting your lips to his. “So wet, mama. Just relax for me, I know how to take care of pretty things” he rasps and you don't bother to question him. 

Toji’s fingers toy with your clit. You moan as your hands grip his broad shoulders. “Fuck- Toji~” you can't help but moan; you were so sensitive ever since having your kid. “Good girl, doing good for me. Nobody’s been paying this pretty pussy any attention?” He chuckles lowly as he finally just takes off your panties. He needs to see it—see how slick you are and how your walls tighten. 

“No” you whine “Nobody pays attention to me, I’m not as good looking since I had a kid” you admit. Well, your ex told you that. Toji doesn't believe it, if anything; knowing this now only makes him want to fuck your pussy full and show you how ‘unattractive’ he thinks you are. 

“Let me show you how fucking sexy you are, babe” 

You writhe beneath Toji on his bed now. He is two fingers deep in your pussy as he adds a third. A pathetic moan leaves your lips as you grind into his hand while he fucks you full of his fingers, down to his knuckles. 

“Ahah- Toji- Oh God~” you moan out loudly, only hoping maybe your neighbors aren't hearing. Especially your babysitter. You swear you didn't hire them just to go fuck some older man, even if it was happening now.

“So pretty, mama. Tightening around my fingers, making such a mess…” he smirks as he watches your pussy clench around him. The messy squelching sounds from how wet you were only made Toji’s cock ache. 

“Toji- I'm gonna cum..fuck~” you moan out, your head tilting back into the pillows. But your pleasure was taken away just as quickly as it started. You let out a pant as you looked at Toji with a pathetic whine. 

“Don't start, I'm not gonna leave you. Just need that pretty pussy sopping around my cock. Want you to squirt all over me, mama so I can lick your cunt clean after.” He smirks, his words almost being enough to send you over the edge. 

Toji frees his cock from his sweatpants, and it's fucking huge. More than you ever took, but fuck if that didn't have your cunt tightening around nothing. He’s painfully hard, with the tip leaking pre-cum. 

“Can you spit on it for me, mama? Wanna get it nice and slick for you” You've never been in something so erotic. You sit up and gather some saliva on your tongue before spitting it out onto Toji’s cock. He doesn't hesitate to smear it all over the tip with his hand and then down his length. 

“That's my good girl, so fucking sweet to me” he rasps as a groan leaves his throat. He needed your pussy clenching around him. Toji tugs at your shirt, but you pull back a little, and he pauses, looking at you, wanting an explanation as to why you didn't allow it. His intense gaze makes you fold. 

“I just���what if you don't like it…” you look away. Toji was such an attractive man. He was muscular, tall, broad, and, overall, just masculine. You were sure he could have anybody he wanted, and he probably has. 

Toji looked at you as if being anything less than a horny bastard for you was impossible. He quickly pulled off your shirt; obviously, he won that battle. 

“If I don't like it?” He groans as he rubs his tip along the slick entrance of your pussy “That's not possible, let me show you how I feel about you”. He then fills up your cunt in one swift motion. A loud moan falls from you as you writhe with pleasure beneath him, your legs hooking around his waist.

Pathetic whimpers leave your throat as you get used to his size. He gives you a minute, but then he's relentless.

Toji grabs your thighs and presses them into you. His cock hits deep, kissing your cervix as he begins to fuck you. His thrusts hit that spot in you every time; his pace was too fast. You could barely pull in a breath between each thrust. You moan out loudly into the small apartment. Your hands coming up to grip onto his broad shoulders. 

“So fucking tight, you're so pretty…” he chuckles breathlessly, watching you writhe on his cock. He leaned down and popped one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on it. 

It was so fucking erotic. Toji’s black hair draped over his face as he sucked on your breasts, teeth grazing you. His cock fucking the deepest part of you as his muscular arms held your thighs open. His balls slapping into your ass with every desperate thrust. 

You scratch into his back as you moan out for him. He was overwhelming, but you loved every second of it. You've never been fucked this good, and you haven't felt anywhere near this good in a while. 

Toji pulled off your hardened nipple. He pressed a hand onto your stomach, and you tightened around him when you noticed the noticeable bulge he left in you with every thrust. 

“So fucking big, daddy~” you moan as you continue to scratch into him. “Yeah, mama~? This cock fucking you good? Gonna squirt all over daddy’s cock?” 

“Mhm, I'm so close-” you whine. Toji pulls back a little as he wraps one hand around your throat. He presses his forehead against yours as his pace quickens. 

“Look at me, I want to look at your pretty face as I fill this pretty cunt” he groans as he relentlessly rails into you.

The apartment was filled with pathetic moans from both of you, wet squelching sounds, and skin slapping against each other. 

“Toji Toji-” you scream out for him as you squirt onto his cock. Your liquids are soaking his dick and lower stomach. Your pussy tightens around him, dragging more moans from the man on top of you. You feel his cock twitch as the tip presses into your cervix, then he cums. Toji pants as he watches your expression contort with pleasure as he fills your pussy. 

“Good girl, so fucking dirty, mama” he chuckles. He thrusts a few more times, making sure his cum was fucked into you. In truth, he could do this all night. He wanted to keep pounding you. Fucking you full of his cum, fuck you until his cock went limp, but that's not what tonight was about. 

He slowly drags his cock out of you. He groans at the sight of your cum covering every inch of his cock and some of his stomach. He leans in and kisses your cheek before his head finds its way between your thighs. His tongue ran over the slit. 

You whine in response, tangling a hand into his messy hair. Toji licks all over your cunt, sucking up all your cum like it was his only meal for the month. He groaned against your pussy as he fucked his tongue inside of you. 

“Daddy- it's too much, I can't-” you whine as you writhe beneath him, making him hold your thighs open. Toji doesn't care; he was obsessed with you and drunk on your pretty pussy. 

He laps at you until you cum again, squirting all over his face. You shake beneath him with pleasure as you try to catch your breath.

His face covered in your slick, he smirks, running a hand through his hair as he takes you in. The look in his eyes definitely makes you reconsider your ex’s words. 

Toji gives you both a bath. He was also a lot more caring than you expected. Maybe there was more to Toji than you could understand, at least right now. 

He places kisses on your neck as he cleans you up, taking care of you. “Mm, take care of yourself” he rasps as he kisses the back of your neck. “Can't keep fucking you good if you let yourself wither away” he whispers in your ear. 

Toji himself didn't even know why he was so obsessed with you. He thought maybe he just wanted to fuck you. But it was obvious now that he wanted more than just one night with the single mom a few apartments down.

[luv4fandoms]

Take me away (Marko X Fem!Reader)

So this is a bit of a self indulgent blurb because I really needed to vent and honestly, I really wish Marko could just sweep me away right now.

Word count: 1,013

Pairing: Marko x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, mention of sexy times at the end.

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨��𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

Ko-Fi

You couldn't believe this shit, it was beyond your comprehension of stupidity and yet here it was, happening. Not only had your mother been talking to your ex behind your back because "he was still like a son to her" but she had INVITED him to Santa Carla. 

"Just talk it out please" she begged as you grabbed your bag and started throwing clothes into it.

"No! I already explained why we broke up, I already EXPLAINED that it was mutual"

"Well he wants-"

"I DON'T CARE! What about what I want hmm? Why don't I get to be happy?"

"You were happy"

"No I pretended to be happy cause I didn't want you in my ear telling me all the red flags. So I never told you about the times I couldn't go to sleep from overthinking, or the times I cried myself to sleep because of stressing about his crap, or the times I thought "well maybe I can change him". I never let that show so you would think it was always fine. Since we've been here I HAVE been happy. I've been happy with-"

"Oh yes, this mysterious Marko who only comes out at night. Why is that huh? What is he hiding?" 

"Not his true feelings at least!"

"Like you did?"

"Like my ex and I both did" you stated, zipping up the bag and heading out.

"Richie will be here soon!"

"Tell him to fuck off for me will you?" You called back, making your way to the boardwalk, knowing that freedom awaited you. And sure enough, it didn't take long to find you.

"Well hello there Amore" he smirked as soon as you stepped onto the boardwalk, his form leaning against the railing. But he quickly took note of your racing heart, your sour expression, and most importantly, the bag over your shoulder.

"What's wrong?" He was in front of you in an instant, hands lightly holding your arms as he waited for your answer.

"My mom invited my ex here"

"What?" He asked, and you could see the anger he tried to hide in his gaze.

"Yeah" you laughed.

"Seems they are still good friends, and she thinks he and I need to "talk it out" even though I have told her a hundred times, I already have a boyfriend" you told him, getting annoyed yet again.

"So when is he supposed to get here?" He asked.

"According to her, tonight, so I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up at the boardwalk" 

"Let him" was all he said before he slung his arm around your shoulder and walked you further onto the boardwalk, quickly stealing your bag and throwing it over his other shoulder.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, Marko made it his mission to get your mind off of everything, be it with games, rides, or making out in any and every dark corner he could find, and it had worked…Until he showed up.

"Hey" you heard the voice behind you, of course he would show up when Marko had gone off to get you some cotton candy. Turning around you looked at the boy who at one time you felt the same way you felt about Marko, no, Marko made you feel like no one else had.

"Hi" you said bluntly.

"Can we talk?" 

"I don't know what you think we have to talk about? You wasted your time coming here"

"Your mom doesn't think so"

"My mom needs to keep her opinions about my love life to herself" 

"I just want to talk" he sighed

"And I'm pretty sure she said you two have nothing to talk about" you heard your savior's voice say before you felt his arm around your shoulder again. Your ex looked between you two as you took the bag from Marko with a smile.

"Who is this?"

"Marko, her boyfriend" Marko introduced himself before you could.

"Your mom didn't say you were dating anyone.

"Yeah no, even though we have been going out for…well since we moved here"

"I still want-" 

"There isn't a reason to talk" Marko stated firmly, stepping slightly in front of you.

"She's told you she doesn't want to, she's told her mother she didn't want to many times. If you have a problem I would suggest taking it up with her" he added, staring your ex down. Even though there was quite the height difference between them, a fact you knew your ex was taking note of, you knew who would win, and from the look on his face…So did your ex.

"Fine" he said with his hands up.

"I'm sorry I even showed up" he stated while backing away. With one last look he added.

"I hope you're happy"

"Don't worry. I keep her very happy" Marko smirked, kissing your cheeks and pulling you against his side as he watched your ex slink away. Once he was out of sight you noticed three familiar figures walking towards where he left.

"Don't" you stated while looking at Marko, who looked at you with a raised brow.

"He's not worth it, call off the squad" you told him, watching as he just rolled his eyes but a few moments later an annoyed David, Paul, and Dwayne came back around the corner. 

"You'll have to make it up to them for canceling their meal" he laughed.

"I'll buy them some stuff" you laughed back.

"What about me?" He smirked, hands resting on your hips.

"You said you keep me very happy right?" you smirked back, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Take me back to the cave stallion, I need to thank my protector" you winked, watching as a full smile spread across his face before he quickly leaned in to capture your lips, pulling your body flush against his, before he suddenly pulled away and rushed you both back to his bike. You knew you were going to be staying at the cave for a while, if not indefinitely now, and you knew it was going to be heaven.

[emoflutterguy]

jesus fucking christ growing up and finding out the people who were shitty to u are massive hypocrites is . insane

TRIGGER WARNING FOR LIKE ABUSIVE FRIENDSHIP??? this is a little bit of a ventpost about how my shitty best friend in freshman year forced his transmedicalist idea of masculinity onto me only to grow up a little bit and start dating a cis guy and fall into the trap that most of us trans guys also fall into with cis guys of “oh hes cis so i obviously need to be Girly now”

thats ur tl;dr, read on if ure interested in the juicy details below the cut

so when i was in freshman year i met a kid who was supposedly a year older than me (he wasnt) but he was also a freshman because he got held back a year (he didn’t) (he was a filthy liar)

anyways he just so happens to be a trans guy and thats not where my problem lies with this guy . i wish it was that simple .

now im also a trans guy, and i had just come out at that point when we had met, like im talking i had just freshly come out as a trans man a month before we had met. i had no idea what i was doing or how to act or dress or how to be masculine, and he was like oh let me coach u on how to be a trans man The Right Way

and his “coaching” was terrible advice that literally any trans man whos been trans for more than 5 seconds would tell u is terrible advice;

he told me to eat, sleep and shit in my binder, he told me to abandon all girly clothing and only wear HIS clothes because HIS clothes were cool and masculine and would make me pass better (they didn’t), he told me not to wear makeup unless he was the one who did it, he shamed me for not passing well enough (i was 15 and had a baby face, as well as having big ass man biddies and also being chubby) and he gave me the worlds worst first masculine haircut and dyed it an eye bleeding orange in his kitchen. he forced me to listen to his music only because my music taste was supposedly terrible and he was the one who could drive so he got to choose the playlist (spoiler alert he wasnt legally supposed to be driving without an adult over the age of 25 but that was unbeknownst to me)

basically he told me that fundamentally, i was wrong because i wasn’t him

and any ounce of femininity i dared to show and be comfortable with was also fundamentally wrong

one time while we were all hanging out at my house (him, me, my mom and her boyfriend at the time) and i was talking about how bad i wanted to get on testosterone because i just wanted to feel like a normal teenage boy.

.and get this.

he told me i was “too girly” and “not manly enough” and i “didn’t pass well enough” to go on testosterone

and he told me he thought i was faking being trans for attention and he didnt think i was actually trans because i “wasnt trying hard enough” like he was

i promise this is relevant later im not just saying this to vent

he was also a horrendously shitty person to me and everyone else at the time, and im not saying this because im still salty, no bitch i was 15 he was 15 we were both kids kids are gonna be weird and mean sometimes, but “kids being kids” is not supposed to leave u with trauma that u may never heal from . and he did that to me . but thats irrelevant

anyways, now onto the part thats kind of funny in a fucked up way

so me and his ex boyfriend are best friends now because we both survived the fucked up shit he put us both through, at the same time might i add, and we often talk about how our respective relationships with him still affect us to this day

and today we were talking about going to a concert for a band we both really like that was introduced to us by our mutual enemy, the guy this post is about

and naturally the conversation turned to what hes up to now because my bestie likes to sometimes look at his social media out of curiosity and he told me

that evil bad guy mc bad

is now in a relationship with a cis biker guy

and dresses in crop tops and mini skirts and thigh highs and wears wigs and makeup now

and good for him if he genuinely just enjoys dressing like that now, if thats all it is then im glad hes finally had some character development

but i just have a feeling thats not what this is, that hes doing this solely for the validation of his fuck ass boyfriend

and the thing is, i would feel bad if it was literally Anyone Else going through that, but he did the same thing to me, to his ex who is now my bestie, to my other friends who used to be friends with him, to anyone who’s ever known him honestly.

and i dont wish him ill anymore. i really dont, i could not care less, and this post will probably be the last time i ever think about him because i really could not care about him less at this point, but its insane to me that he used to be so like firm in his opinion that men who were feminine werent real men, and he actively enjoyed making me feel like shit for being too feminine, and now he’s doing the same thing he used to make fun of me for.

maybe im just salty because i never got a real apology from him, but at this point i dont even want an apology from him because i know that it would be more akin to colleen ballinger’s “toxic gossip train” video than a real apology

well i think ive yapped on about this enough if u read all the way here thanks lol

[cru5h-cascades]

LORE-fi Bag: Corrine's Journal (Part 1)

I have nothing else to say here besides pretty much this is the stuff that happened before the main story leading up to Corrine getting murked from the dead wife herself's perspective. Enjoy :D

November 10, 2014

While walking home after my shift at the restaurant today I found this one guy crying on the side of the road. He didn't have an umbrella or anything to keep him dry in the rain and he looked like he's seen better days. I asked him if he was okay but he only shook his head slowly. When I said he could stay with me he didn't say anything but he walked with me back to my apartment. I guess he has nowhere else to go. Poor guy...

So here we are now. I tried talking to him but he still wouldn't talk. Can he even talk? I guess I'll figure it out eventually. He's sleeping on the couch right now. I'll go clothes shopping for him tomorrow. I'm pretty sure he's homeless. I think it's gonna be a while until he can go off on his own. As long as he isn't a weirdo I'll let him stay here. Now that I think about it I should probably clean up the spare room here. I think he'd probably like that better than sleeping on the couch.

November 17, 2014

So he's been here for a week now. He has some new clothes. The spare room's all cleaned up for him but he still chooses to sleep on the couch. He has a huge appetite (either that or he hasn't had a proper meal in a long time). He still won't talk to me, though, not even by writing things out for me to read. I really wonder what's going through his mind. I just wish I knew...

December 2, 2014

Mom and Dad found out I dropped out of college. To say they weren't happy would be an understatement. They wanted me to go back to Greensburg. Fat chance. Yesterday during my break when they called me I told them that I wasn't going back there. What they wanted for me wasn't what I wanted in life. I don't want to live just to do what they want me to do. I made sure they had no way of contacting me after the call. I blocked their numbers, both their personal and work emails, all of it. Thank god they don't know my address. I walked back home crying and vented to what's his name about what happened. I didn't expect what happened after I told him about that to... well happen. He went into the kitchen and made a mask thing out of a paper bag, put that mask over his head, and did some silly little dance to try to cheer me up. I was sooo confused at first but it was funny either way. This was actually my first time hearing his voice.

I finally asked for his name then (took me long enough, huh?). Emio. Or at least that's what he'd rather have me call him. Later that night he told me about his past and... he's been so much. Bad house life. Lost his little sister. Running away from his shit hole home just to get away from his dad. Spending months out on the streets. I guess that makes the both of us runaways. He told me has nowhere else to go and thanked me for letting him stay.

Today he's a bit more talkative for some reason. Maybe opening up about my past helped him open up about his. Made him feel less alone. He's been looking at my keyboard lately. Is he interested in learning piano? Does he even know how to? Only one way to find out I guess. If he is... maybe I'll teach him...

December 20, 2014

So apparently Em's blind as a bat. He got glasses today. I'm pretty sure he can actually see the sheet music I'm showing him when we're practicing now. Speaking of him learning piano, Em's a quick learner! He already knows how to play Daisy Bell! While I'm not actually teaching him he's been trying to play the song I wrote a while back without sheet music. He seems pretty determined to learn how to play. One day I wanna get a grand piano for the both of us. Sure the keyboard we have right now is fine but I think it'd be neat to have a good grand piano here at home.

February 15, 2015

We got a new piano at the restaurant and I asked the boss if she'd let me bring the old one home and she said yes! When Em saw that big old piano for the first time he lit up. That's what I like about Em. He has a sense of childlike wonder. He's silly. He's been messing around with the new piano for the past two hours trying to play some songs and make some of his own.

We called the piano Felix. I know, naming an instrument is kind of weird but screw that! It's not like we're the first people on earth to name our instrument.

March 6, 2015

Happy birthday to me!! Anyways, Em got a job yesterday. Ghost tours! Not sure why he went for that job in particular but hey it's nice to see the guy gain some more confidence. Some of the honeysuckle bushes we have in the community garden have started blooming and I took a few flowers with me. When I told Em that the flowers were edible he went through almost all the flowers I had brought home today. God what have I done lol... Guess I'm going to have to bring more home next time I get the chance to. Now that I think about it I think there's honeysuckle bushes growing right outside the apartment that haven't started blooming yet... oh boy when Em finds out...

June 10, 2015

So Em's been here for more than half a year now. I was thinking about just letting him stay until he could make enough money for himself to get an apartment for himself and whatever but I think he likes it here. And I like having him around. Honestly the apartment was way too quiet before he came here. I'm going to let him stay.

Alongside me teaching Em how to play piano (speaking of he's learned more songs, including the one I made!), I've been teaching him English, too. And he's helping me improve my Japanese. Like with learning piano he's picking up English quickly. The way he speaks and writes in English kind of reminds me of this one teacher I had when I was in Greensburg. Sophisticated. Rarely using slang even if I taught him some. I don't mind, though. It's pretty suave. I like it.

Em... you're a man of many talents. I can't wait to see what you get up to as time goes by. But my god could you at least have the decency to leave me some honeysuckle flowers to eat myself?? Hahaha

[secret-sturniolo]

just a long vent. read (or dont) idc

not that anyone really cares, but i just have some things i need to get off my chest because im currently alone in my room crying in the dark.

let me preface this by saying i dont have any friends. i literally do not have a single person i can talk to. i dont even have a therapist because she just quit. the last friend group i had, i found out they had a secret group chat where they were shit talking and making fun of me. so, the closest thing to friends i have are my 151 followers and the people in this fandom. when i log on here and i see that people have interacted with me or like my works, thats literally the highlight of my day. so to anyone who has talked to me or shown me support, i truly thank you and i love you.

if you met my family, you would think we have it all. my parents own a successful business, they (appear) happily married, and my brother and i have everything we could ever want or need. but heres the truth:

my parents are alcoholics. every night its the same thing. they get drunk, they fight and yell and say nasty things about each other until one of them goes to bed and they sleep in different rooms. im the one who has to mediate things. im the one who has to send my little brother to bed so he doesnt have to hear them. im the one who cleans up the spilled drinks. im the one who drove us to the hotel when my dad was being verbally abusive. and when my mom almost died in the ICU a month ago as a direct result of drinking, i was the one visiting her multiple times a day. i was the one at home doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, all of the cleaning, and bringing my brother to and from school ON TOP OF my own schoolwork and going to work every evening all because my dad is lazy and doesnt get out of bed until 1pm.

they swore to me that they were done drinking. and when they lasted 3 days and got drunk again, i didnt shame them. i didnt say anything at all. in fact, i showed them support.

wanna guess what i get in return for all of that?

i get told that im the one whos tearing our family apart, that if they get divorced its my fault. that maybe if i was nicer we would have less problems.

and god forbid that i have a bad day sometimes like a normal human being, because then i get accused of not taking my medications.

they also like to act like my mental health problems are harder on them than they are on me as if they didnt literally play a role in me developing them. a year ago i had to go to another state to receive inpatient and residential treatment because i was anorexic and suicidal. let me tell you, thats not a vacation. i have clinically diagnosed ptsd from things i witnessed there. all those times they had to take me to the hospital? yeah, not fun for me either. i promise you, nobody has tubes shoved up their nose just for shits and giggles.

you guys, im only 17. i havent even graduated high school yet. if this is what life is like now, im terrified to be an adult.

i mean it when i say that this fandom keeps me going. it makes me feel appreciated, even just a little. so if you made it to the end of this, thanks for caring enough to read this absolute dumpster fire of a post.

love you all <3

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

This is literally just a vent thing I wrote about my cat and it made me feel loads better. This has absolutely nothing to do with Final Fantasy at all. I just wanted this in my masterlist to come back to because it’s the most important thing I’ve typed out and I look forward to seeing all of this in some years along with any other bullshit I’ve typed.

All of this was written about my dear kitty Rinoa aka Fluffy cause I didn’t feel like calling her Rinoa all of the time. What a treat when Tifa’s cat was named Fluffy.

Other aliases. Fluffals, Fluff a Wuff, Fluffaluffagus, Big Fluff, Fluff(s), or The Fluffs.

Farlo (only you and I understand this one bbg)

Day one with you was wild in itself wasn’t it? But it let me know that you were the cat for me. That two hour drive to pick up my scraggly gray baby, my mom’s car breaking down an hour into the trip home due to her stupid security system. It was freezing outside, we had no heat in that shitbox, the rain was fierce and the roads were freezing over.

After letting you out of the cage to stretch your little legs you came straight to my lap, rubbing against me and purring upon being pet. You practically didn’t even look my mother’s way. Your attention was solely on me and you seemed to understand we weren’t going to be anywhere comfortable anytime soon as you loafed in my lap. It was the first time I ever felt the warmth of a cat and fuck did you make the situation so much better. It was extremely comforting coming from a cat that absolutely despises car rides, all of your booming meows came to a halt and we just stared at each other.

God you were so food aggressive back then. My first time feeding you, I tried to get you to slow down. You didn’t like that at all. I didn’t even know cats could growl and I was so fuckin offended. It was hilarious but as time went on you realized you didn’t have to be territorial about food, you knew you would always be fed with me.

The first time I fed you a can of tuna turned out to be a mistake. Fuckin hell because the next time you heard me pop open a can, your big ass tried scaling up my leg as though you were a kitten. The only thing you did was sink your claws into my leg as you kept trying to climb up me, your claws sinking in so deep it left large open gashes. Blood was everywhere, it was kind of funny. I was also a little mad, but I made sure you got your tuna because you were such a greedy little thing and I understood why you acted like that from your previous home.

As a kid I gave you nerves of steel. You couldn’t stand my loud noises at first, to this day if I’m too loud you’ll get up and find another part of the apartment to hang out at until I shut up. You come back every single time though.

What even was that period of time in which I would catch you in the tower or sleeping on the couch, wake you up by picking you up and whispering to you in a demonic voice that I would “eat your wiskas (whiskers) and take your soul” and baby you would just purr even though I was being so weird and you’ve always hated being picked up.

Or the times I’d run up to you screaming the lyrics of The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy. Even better, when Hail to the King by Avenged Sevenfold dropped and I had that stupid golden chalice. As they sang “Hail to the King” I’d get down on one knee, bow, and hold the cup out to you as though you’d fill it with the finest wine while screaming the lyrics.

Christ, that time my dad thought it would be funny to give you a wig. I did not approve. I got in trouble as I told him to “get that shit off of my cat.” Fluff didn’t approve either and the look on her face made it painfully obvious.

I never realized just how loud a cat could be. I’ve dealt with your ungodly almost monthly screeching for years because heart complications prevented you from getting fixed. It’s not just this that made me realize cats are loud as fuck. You can see the bottom of the food bowl at all? Water level isn’t where you want it? Here you come with your meows. Furious fucking meows they are, yes.

One thing about you. You’re going to get your way. Even if you have to claw my hand to get pets. The way you’d bite my phone like it was trying to attack you. Adorable. You just want my attention on you, my lovely girl, you always get it. I love the moment I set my eyes on you, you're making biscuits like the magnificent soul you are.

2013-2017

Boy. Were you my damn salvation. Nothing else kept me together during this period of time but you. You were always my reason to keep pushing. Because if I didn’t have shit else in life, I at least had my cat.

We were so young, breaking into abandoned homes for shelter since we didn’t have our own. It was kind of funny, toting the litter box with me from place to place. I refused to live with others since they didn’t like cats or wouldn’t allow me to bring you along. We are a package deal. No Fluffy? No me. No me? No Fluffy. If you don’t like cats? We aren’t coming. Why should we? Maybe to extent at that time, it was unfair to keep you when we didn’t even have a roof over our heads. But nobody would take you in and I couldn’t dare handle the possibility of losing you entirely. To another owner who doesn’t understand your boundaries? To one who doesn’t understand you’re a very picky soul and you’re not a kitty to be fooled around with or cornered. I’ve seen many of my family be mean towards you when you’ve done nothing wrong. It made me fear heavily to let you go. That no matter what, being by my side would be best for you. So I did not. And you still acted like the happiest girl in the world no matter the circumstances. Maybe it was because you still had me? I’m unsure, I also understand you wouldn’t have quite known what was going on at the time anyways. But I kind of beg to differ. You always know what’s up. Always have. That’s why you’ve always been my best girl.

Those cold nights where you tucked under my bundle of blankets. Keeping yourself warm while keeping me warm as well. Anything you needed, I made sure you had it before me. You taught me that sacrifices were necessary at a very young age. Feeding you instead of myself. It’s why you’re the chicken thief now! Part of the reason you’re so food motivated. One thought I had spoiled you when reality was, I just did what I had to do to get us through a shit period of time.

Remember your favorite thing would be when I’d bring chicken items home from school? Pestering the lunch ladies about the salt content since I was worried about your health. I wish I had the balls to go into stores and steal food for you during this time. Lord knows I was heavily considering it but I’ve always been too scared to do shit like that.

Ugh. The meals I’d cook you? You were destined to be spoiled even though you’re spoiled due to poverty first before I was able to work and take care of you fully myself. I’m ever grateful for your patience and love. You’ve taught me so much, more than any human has been able to teach me. (Sorry mom, this goes for you too.) No matter how ass this time was for me, I always had you to care for. To keep my mind off of the world and how shitty everything was.

Then we moved in with my grandma. Terrible. 0/45. At least I had started working immediately and was able to care for you like I have never been able to before. Now you’re just MEGA SPOILED!!!! We made her so mad the day we left. Pulled up with a U-Haul and packed our shit without notice(which she had no clue how I got the truck, I did not have a license then lmao). Fluffy and I said fuck you as we skirted out of the driveway and we haven’t been back since! Certainly not you, my Fluff, she talked down to you so much, said many nasty things about a cat who sleeps 80% of the day away.

When we broke off from the family and decided to live by our standards instead of theirs, everything changed. For the fucking better. We never saw another night without food or questioning how your next meal was going to get to you. I have your fucking back. Always. You have mine as well, you never missed a beat.

2018-Present

We have been in a good spot ever since. Literally living our best lives. Fluffy gets everything she wants, everything I can think of to get her, she fucking gets cause that’s baby fucking girl.

Remember when you attacked my friends when we were play fighting? Either we spooked you really bad by doing too much, or you were protecting me (the option I like the most). You tore those two the fuck up and wouldn’t stop attacking them, but not once did you turn on me. Those poor little souls getting torn to shreds by you and I was doing my best to get you away from them. Luckily for me (really for them) they took the claws like a champ and didn’t even try fighting you, to my surprise.

Or how about that time when I had a roommate and I swore up and down she let you out of the apartment and I lost my shit because I couldn’t find you anywhere? Just to slump against the wall in defeat after coming the complex and nearby areas for you. Then I heard it. Bitch was in the kitchen cabinet hiding behind the cereal! I cried so hard that day at the thought of something happening to you. I was so devastated since you’ve never tried running off before. So why now?

Nope, the greedy little thing was hiding in the kitchen. Which…knowing you Fluffals, I should’ve known you were in there. When are you not gravitating towards the kitchen? I just never caught her climbing on counters so much, so to expect her to be inside of the cabinets? ABOVE THE SINK?? I was beyond baffled. I cried tears of joy, called my roommate back and apologized profusely. She was just as happy as I was that I found you. Fluffy has a way of worming her way into the hearts of many.

I know you can never forget when I got to the point of fostering cats. You hated it at first. But the way you took kittens under your wing instantly and taught them how to bullshit was so beautiful. Watching you teach kittens how to menace was one of my favorite things in the world. Very quickly you didn’t mind these guys I’d pick up and take care of until I found their forever homes. Eventually you didn’t even blink an eye as I ushered in another cat, only keeping them away from you in order to figure out their temperaments and health problems before letting them mingle with you.

I love watching you set boundaries. Though it’s been a bit since I’ve really fostered any cats besides picking them up off of the streets and taking them to other foster parents. That tiny orange guy I had to help escape your headlock was iconic. In your defense Fluffy, he wouldn’t stop trying to play with you while you slept. You’ve never been one to have your sleep interrupted. We’re one in the same with that one huh? We got that kitten out of there instantly, I never saw you spaz like that on a poor little kitty. But hey, you were entirely fed the fuck up!

Now you’ve got a brother and sister. I was surprised that you actually loved them as much as you do. Aerith and Roach. The ultimate duo that I kept swearing up and down I wasn’t going to keep, then I kind of…stopped looking for a home for them since I had them so so long. I shrugged and let them know this was their forever home. I’m pretty sure those two knew that this was their place anyway. You accepted them, they love you so much, and I of course got extremely attached to these two.

You raised Aerith to be a mini-Fluffy. She’s just as stuck up as you, Aerith just lacks the food motivated fiendish ways. I guess that’s because I’ve always been able to properly feed them, seeing as the circumstances weren’t the same as when I was a kid.

Roach though? You could’ve taken him under your wing a bit more and helped me out. He’s the scariest little cat on the planet. Remember when you or I would so much as look at him and he’d scurry under the bed? Or when I’d turn in the lights and he’d scatter like an actual Roach (hence the name Roach). No amounts of socialization was working and he hates strangers still. Aerith and Fluffy will walk up to people like “Who are you and why are you in my space without giving me pets or something?”

Roach though? He’ll claw at the closest door when a new comer is around until I just let him in. Hiding in the cat towers, under the bed, or the couch is not enough for that boy. He’s gotta hightail it out of there.

You know what Fluffs? You’ve really gotten me through this life. I knew there would be a time that it would be my turn to take care of you as you have taken care of me. You need me now more than ever. It’s not fair to cry in your face when the end really isn’t here nor do we know for sure if it’s going to be close. There’s still a chance to get rid of this tumor and bring you back to full health. You’re a bit old. Yes. That doesn’t count you out. You’ve been a fighter your entire life and you’re still very much yourself. You haven’t skipped a beat a single day. Still screaming at me over the empty space in the food bowl or trying to open the toilet because for some reason it catches your attention more than the bowl of FRESH water. You psychopath.

You’ve spent years of hard work to keep a smile on my face. I have to be strong enough to keep the smile you’ve given me and serve it back to you tenfold. You will get through this. We will get through this. I love you man. I love you so much. I’d burn this entire world to keep you by my side.

I love you, my dear Fluff.

[checkadii]

tipsy or drunk or mildly tipsy idk vent

Sometimes I wish dad went back because I don’t want to deal with him drunk ever again had enough of that growing up but then I think about it some more and I’d rather it be me than mom because at least here he has grandma and aunt to be wary of because they won’t tolerate him drunk but if he went back there’s literally nothing stopping him from being drunk starting from noon and moms tired enough but I’m still worried and scared for herlike . They love eachother they really do. They do care for eachother . But then I think about things some more again and I remember how I would sleep with ac off in the summer without a fan or proper ventilation in the goddamn Middle East just because it was loud and everytime I hear them starting to raise their voices while talking-becoming-arguing I just step out and stand in the living room doorway and they’d stop and then I think about when I was like. What. 6 and they got into a really bad fight one of the first I ever saw and dad kept me sat on the couch next to him and wouldn’t let me to go mom and she was holding my sister and we were both crying and my other aunt was there trying to get them to calm down and he yelled at mom about her deceased mother as an insult because yes unironically your mom and your dad are genuine insults here and they are very offensive and then he cursed/insulted ? Said something taboo about her very very elderly bedridden dad and so she just. Left. Started going upstairs with my sister and left me down there next to him and only came back down briefly to yell fuck you too because he did it first and neither of them comforted me from what I remember and then I think about it moreee and I remember how my mom would ask me and my sister if we’d be happier if it was just the three of us and I don’t remember how we answered her and the bajillion other times they fought and ohh there was this one time I locked myself in the bathroom and more or less started bashing my head on the wall. Ouch btw don’t reccomend but it got them to stop so. and think that was when they’d start trying to make sure I wasn’t there for arguements because whenever I was they widk try to settle it immediately so I’d. just sleep little and started saying up more and that’s probably when my internal clock hm got fucked up idk if jsut leave my room and take three steps to the living room doorway and they’d stop and I made sure that I kept my door open with a bottle or something since it swings shut by itself and I never really wore eerphones in the house at night even though I really wanted to sleep to music when I could and just had to deal with speaker plus low volume and the goddamn ac dude summers sucked and then I remember that my brother might’ve touched me and took a shower with me and that maybe the signs were there and that my sister used to yell the r slur at me and pretended she didn’t then talked about me behind my back even though our room was more or less connected with just an incomplete partition and I just doon’t know anymore and I started talking to myself at one point but it derailed into years of still ongoing feelings of paranoia where I’m convinced I’m being constantly watched and judged and I can’t do things without being conscious even while alone and I’m afraid of my thoughts and mind being resd and sometimes I’m convinced I see something but I don’t and sometimes I feel like there’s so many people in my room when it’s just me and that they’re hiding under the bed or on my closet or under my desk and I don’t knoww and then at this point I’ve taken to hst staying in a bubble and think about yhingd I like so I don’t have to think about other things and that leads me to forgetting the world sround me an di forget to keep in touch with friends and I forget to reply and just be thrrr for people and I don’t know

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually

[pjo-obsessed-nerd]

sometimes valentines day really sucks lmfao i was talking to a guy 2 weeks ago, we made plans to go on a coffee date, and see a movie, and then he ghosted me. i had to go to dillons for my dad, running on 2 hours of sleep, already overstimulated, and walked into a crowd of 20 ppl all around the florist stall (which is directly in the way of our pharmacy, my destination), and then a guy came up and stood less than an inch from my back to reach for a flower that was behind my shoulder, so i started panicking. When i tried to leave, more people had come in so i literally could not get to the front doors without touching over 3 ppl at once. I literally ran out of the store crying because i was freaking out and people were staring at me. On top of that, we had no food at home that i can eat without making a fiver person meal, so i went hungry. i made brownies, burned the tops while simultaneously making the bottoms too liquidy to taste any good, let alone be safe to eat. when i went to vent to my mom, instead of being sympathetic and saying it would get better (what i needed/wanted to hear) she told me to stop bitching about it. For dinner, we had tortallini, which is normally amazing, but the tomato sauce literally made my mouth itch (Which is something i only experience when i eat citrusy foods, and im allergic to citrus, but this feeling was 10x worse), and my paycheck dropped just in time for me to get a meal from wendys before going to work on another 2 hours of sleep. The 3rd book of the series im reading (Newsflesh Trilogy by Mira Grant, it's zombies, conspiracy, journalism, tiniest bit of romance but i would die for Shaun and Bekks to kiss just one more time, go check it out if that sounds cool to u) won't be here for another week after i finished the second one on a major cliffhanger, and i haven't written anything in nearly a month. the times tamps of my book says as much. Also, i'm single, all my friends have boyfriends or girlfriends, and every guy or girl i talk to ghosts me after learning i have adhd/am working on a autism diagnosis. that, and my friends are lowkey ignoring me. on valentines day of all days, so the one group of people i'm supposed to be able to talk to when my life gets shitty the same way they talk to me when their lives get shitty have just been ignoring me for like, a week. idk what to do, cus im torn between punching a wall and curling into a ball so tight that i just POP out of existence. Anyway, sorry for the rant. if you read this far, i appreciate and love you <3

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, idk if this matters to the what I'm gonna say because I am not planning this in the slightest but it's talkative mom anon.

My brother's not helping and I don't have anyone else to talk to rn so... is that sad? I feel like that's a bit sad.

(Just a bit of a warning I talk about a relative passing away a lot in this)

Anyway I wanted to vent about this specific thing that I remembered that still makes me so angry.

So basically my grandmother (on my moms side) passed away around 2 years ago. Actually yesterday was her birthday. Anyway, I live abroad and she died before we could get back to the US, so I didn't get to say goodbye. Which crushed me. I was very close to her. She was one of my favorite people ever.

So we went back to the US for the funeral which meant I was missing the first 2 months of school. But instead of letting me take those two months to process my grief my mom made me do school online. Which meant that

1. I was the only person in my entire class that was online and

2. I was doing school from 8 pm to midnight because of time difference. (She only made me do school for half the school day so I should be more grateful 🙄)

Neither her or my dad worked online or otherwise the entire 2 months we were there. I think I remember her making me do school the night of the funeral as well (like wtf).

It didn't help that my dad got an air bnb that was in the basement of a person's house who was living there, on a farm, had cockroaches, was a 30 minute drive from our relatives, and had 2 bedrooms which meant I was sleeping on a pullout. Which is completely fine for a week or 2 but it was 2 months without a room to myself. My bed was right in front of the bathroom so if I was asleep (after midnight because school) my brother would climb on my bed and wake me up to get to the bathroom. Again that was fine. What pissed me off was that as soon as I was awake I was expected to put the pullout away so i didn't inconvenience my parents. If they found me awake and still in bed in the morning then I wasn't allowed a bed anymore and had to put it away.

So I didn't have a room, was being woken up by my brother every night, and wasn't even allowed to lay in bed for 5 extra minutes while doing school until midnight while my parents weren't working at all, all while grieving my grandma I didn't get to say goodbye to.

I would also like to mention that I don't like physical touch from people sometimes and my parents (specifically mom) like to make fun of me for it. And for a year after my grandma died when I told her I wasn't comfortable with hugging right now she would guilt me into hugging her because "I can't hug my mom anymore so you have to hug me" when I was still processing and grieving over my grandmas death.

Sorry for rambling. Again. Thank you, your answer to my last ask was so kind and helpful.

Hi hon!

Honestly, it sounds like your family has a bit of trouble with boundaries and with respecting your needs. I'm so sorry that's happening, I know how invalidating that can feel.

Remember that just people that's happening, it doesn't make your feelings or needs any less real or valid. You also have a right to (respectfully and kindly) say what you need. Because these are adults acting this way, this can be scary and you need to be respectful, but you can say, for example, "This is my body and I have a right to say I don't want a hug right now. It's nothing against you." And then you don't have to feel guilty when your mom reacts negatively. Her feelings are HER problem.

It's okay to set boundaries. It's actually very healthy.

[panzershrike-pretz]

Sorry for the vent I need to put my thoughts somewhere or else i'll explode probably maybe

Why is it so hard for older people to accept that I have no interest in any kind of relationship? I feel like I'm being always looked at with sone kind of expectancy for when I eventually "show up with a boyfriend"- It's hard, honestly.

I may be closeted, but it was always here. Ever since I was a child, I always hated to play with dolls and especially when my friends would force me to play "mommy & baby"; I always let the other girls care for the baby dolls while I was just sort of there, in the background, trying to find something to do because playing the role of mom & wife even in child-play felt absolutely wrong to me.

Moving forward. I'm a teen and all the girls around me are talking about crushes or "when I grow up and marry-" or "oh my god, I kissed!!", I'd be left out. I never actually understood it and for the longest time I did think romantic love was a made up thing to be used in books, and people didn't really feel it, they just... could fall and un-fall in love as they plsased.

They'd ask me who my crush was, and I'd kind of just choose the most random, conventionally attractive guy that everyone else crushed on. That was it.

As we got older and I'd hear girls talk about guys they slept with, and even about girls younger than me getting pregnant, I couldn't believe it. Why the fuck would a teen willingly sleep with someone? In my head, the only use for sex was to have a child, not for the pelasure (I actually can't believe that is even real. I'm a sex atheist. Fight me✨️✨️✨️), so why would a teen ruin their whole life so early?? Why??

I used to think I was a lesbian, since I never liked any boy at all. Then I noticed I actually didn't like girls either so, was I bi or pan? When I learned about the term "aroace", I was hesitant to embrace it, but I did start using it. I first told my best friends at the time and they didn't help at all. They were all like "I bet you'll find someone" or "you're just confused" and, since then, that is all I hear- safe for like. 3 people irl who actually respected me and I couldn't be more thankful.

Now I'm legally an adult. Never experienced any kind of feeling towards anyone. What I thought was actually love, was pure peer pressure. Grew up insecure in my male friendships. And I still get those pityful looks from my family, from time to time.

How old will I have to be, for me to be taken seriously? Now I'm 18. When I'm 30 and still single, will they believe me when I say I never liked anyone? When I'm 40, maybe? When??

[hiddenwashington]

yearly disclaimer that this is going to be LONG but i promise it’s GOOD!!!

hello my beloved hidden, it is my favorite day of the entire year, the year that i get to celebrate all of YOU. that i get to express my almost overwhelming gratitude to all of you incredible members, to my dear best friends on the admin team, to all the past members who still resonate within the heart of hidden. somehow, someway, hiddenwashington turns FIVE YEARS OLD today, and i am already in tears writing that sentence and we’ve just gotten started. when i started hidden, in some sleep deprived delirium at 2am five years ago (and then hitting the tags at 5am that same morning), i never once imagined i would still be here even a year, let alone 5 years later, still loving and cherishing every single moment i get to spend here. it has been the most rewarding, challenging, downright hysterical and overwhelmingly beautiful experience of my life to your head admin, to be the one that gave you all this special place to be unapologetically you. and you all have done that, whatever that means for you, you have been the reason that hidden is still here five years later. this place would never be the same without your influence. to whatever member is reading this, please know that i mean that, hidden would be so incredibly different without you as a piece of our history. i know that i sound a little cliché when i say that hidden is my home and yours, that you will always have a home in washington, but i mean it. i have never not meant that. this place is so special, it is a home to those who need it, a place to explore yourselves, to explore your characters, to create these incredible moments in writing, in the chats-- seriously, i cannot imagine a better place with a better group of people. i know i’m sappy, but like, members, i genuinely mean it, that you make this place as good as it is. we are so beyond lucky to have such talent on our dashes, to have such dedicated people writing. the replies that i read every day just blow me away. and that goes for any member-- to those who have been here for ten minutes, or ten months, who have been here since the very beginning, or those who left us, you are all some of the sweetest, most talented writers i have ever met. hidden is the warm and welcoming place because of all of you, because you all look out for each other. it doesn’t matter if you have spoken to someone for two minutes or two years, if you have no canon connections or whatever, you are all so warm and caring about each other. the community you guys create, it’s home. i have never laughed so hard in my life, than with some of the conversation we have had in the discord, i am constantly inspired by your writing on the dash, the development you all can create for your characters, it’s something that should be published for the entire world to see. if i could scream my love for you all from the mountain tops, just for a chance for the world to know how wonderful you are, i would. it’s my yearly duty to swap between tired mom, to proud mom. so please, give me a few moments to absolutely gush about the admin team that helps me stay even remotely sane every day. i’m so deadass when i say that they are some of the best admins in the entire world, the amount of work they put into the group, into all of the decisions that are made-- you only see a fraction of the work that i have the joy of watching in real time, but they really are as good as it gets and i need them to know how thankful i am for them. and friends, you only have to deal with me being this sappy like once a year so, deal, while i highlight all of you xoxo !!! gotta start with a shoutout to the other half of my brain, my right hand man, probably the only reason hidden is still going bc without them i’d have gone insane by now, sunny-- just thank you? like genuinely, sincerely, thank you. for everything. for allowing me to be unapologetically myself, for allowing your dms to be my space to vent, to joke, to dump a million messages, for helping solve every single issue that has come up, for sticking by my side for five full years now, for being such a genuine friend, for being the best dm out there-- like damn you put up with so much bullshit from us how have you not TPK’d us earlier. thank you for being the voice of reason, for being the nice admin, for calming everything when i want to just give up and throw my hands up in the air. i love you, like more than you know, more than i need to say. you’re p cool. ollie, my beloved, please, i’m begging you to use this anniversary to TAKE A BREAK. the fact that you have joined the team, having never been an admin before, and have become one of the best we’ve ever had is so impressive, i forget that you haven’t even been on the team an entire year. you put in so much work, you are the force we lean on (maybe sometimes too much, pls i promise ill make sure you get a break), you dedication to the main is awe inspiring and i cannot express how thankful i am to you for being here. for putting in as much work as you do. for being an admin for less than a year and being our top tag ???? insanity. but really, we would not keep going most days without you ollie, i hope you know it never goes unappreciated. i love you a lot, thank you. seriously. i don’t know if i can say it enough to express how much i mean that. aria, a powerhouse, an icon, the real owner of the brain cell, i seriously don’t think the main would be half as functioning or well researched without you. you somehow, always, end up finding the answers that we need, your knowledge of faceclaims is unmatched and i wanna be you when i grow up. minus the minion love but it’s forgivable today and today alone. your ability to solve so many issues that arise is incredible, and i hope you know how thankful i am for every minute you spend working on the main, answering fc suggestions and everything. also your icons are always the highlight of my day, i hope you know how loved you are, by me. specifically. idc about everyone else, i love you, thank you so much my friend ♥ cherry !! yet another majority shareholder of the team dumbass brain cell. i know i can always count on you to write the best messages to send out to people, to always know how to word things and almost decipher what we’re all trying to say when we’re just yelling. i am always so impressed by you, cherry, you are sincerely one of the most genuine, kindest people i have ever met, and you also know when to put your foot down, how to not take shit, like i really know we can always count on you to be there when we need the support. thank you, for everything, i love you. jodie, the absolute heart of the team, seriously, you are just everyone’s biggest supporter (even when its for the dumbest ideas) and i know you are always ready to throw down if someone is struggling. you are simply the most loving people i have ever gotten the pleasure to know, and i hope, similar to ollie, you take this anniversary to catch a break, and by that i MEAN GO TO BED AT A HUMAN TIME. but seriously, you are the heart of team dumbass and we would not be as close of a team without you and your laughing fits bc you did something you know is gonna get both of us yelled at. i love you so much, thank you. and finally, kasey, who does not wish to be perceived but they don’t get that choice today. the fire in our hearts, and it’s not just a pyro joke. you are the first to spot problems, but always know the solution, to be able to fix an issue before it even becomes one. i am genuinely so proud of you, and everything that you do, you have been so important in helping hidden become what it is today, even if half of it is from us yelling at each other, only to end with everyone yelling at us for being The Worst. i wouldn’t want anyone else to be my partner for our patrol. thank you for always being so incredibly genuine and loving the moment you know someone needs that. i love you so much friend, you know that. now back to bullying all of you because this was too long, too much, but seriously. hidden, you don’t know how lucky you are. i barely even realize how lucky i am sometimes. nothing has been as rewarding as being your head admin. and i love each and every one of you. thank you for allowing me this space, for being the best group of people i have ever met. here to hidden’s 5th year, and every year after that! i love all of you. 

much much love always, admin maig ♥

[reine-uls]

Hello! It is me, the person who asked 7 questions a few days ago.

This is not really a question and more like a vent, I really don't know where to really vent this but you can ignore this if you want :)

Anyways, let's go back to the time where I asked those 7 questions. It was really late at night when this happened.

At midnight, my older sister will wake up, open my room door and then turn on the lights.

She began to mumble things I do not remember, but she was saying something. But I did remember her saying to open the door and check outside.

It was a bit weird for me but I refused, saying that I won't check it and that she should check it by herself.

A few minutes went by and she turned off the lights again, when I was about to go back to sleep, she suddenly turned on the lights again before saying that someone keeps knocking on their room window.

I sleep in a different room alone, while my older sister and my younger brother sleep in the same room.

And if you are wondering why she didn't tell this to our parents, it's because my dad works in another city far away from here while my mom is currently in the hospital.

My older sister just asked if she could just leave the lights open while I go back to sleep, which I agreed on.

My sister has left me alone now, so I decided to go back to sleep. After a few minutes, I heard a knocking on my window.

Scared and terrified, I took my pillows (and the laptop I use) and went to my siblings' room.

My older sister was (currently) the only one awake while my younger brother snoozes off.

I told my older sister what happened and we were both terrified. My sister texted our parents about what was happening, but it was 12 midnight when this was happening so it was an obvious fact they're asleep.

The knocking at first was calm, but over time, it became more aggressive.

This anonymous person outside our house won't actually go to the front door to knock there, instead, they will knock to the back.

And what is wrong with the back? It has absolutely no lights at all.

After a while, my uncle came since my sister probably texted him or my cousin. He let us stay at their place until the next day.

This started at 11 PM night and ended at 1 AM morning.

That experience was so traumatizing for me that I don't feel that safe anymore when I am left alone. It was so traumatizing that whenever someone knocked, I would feel shivers running down my spine.

I also wondered what would happen if me or my sister went out and checked who that anonymous person was. But I am very grateful we didn't.

I really hope anyone that reads this fully does NOT trust anyone or anything outside your house in such late periods of time. Since they might have something suspicious in their minds.

I also hope that you guys always lock your doors at night since you will never know what will happen!

And I wish everyone to be safe, this experience was just really traumatizing for me. And i'm sorry if this bothers you, or from how long this is ^^'

(This is also a bit incomplete, but it will take me long to write all those stuff so i hope you guys understand </3)

What an eerie experience! 😣 I’m sorry you guys went through such but I’m glad you’re safe and rationally avoided danger. Stay safe my dude~ 💕

[eway]

Hello eway mii! How are you today? My name is Sir Meliodas It's very nice to meet you! Could you tell me a bit more about your friends?

(Ooc: I love 7 deadly sins. Also, these characters are young and some have edgy backstories because I was 14 when I played Miitopia. Ok Eway time)

Heya! Meliodas, huh? That's a cool name. I'm eway!

I'm 14 years old I'm from Powerdered Peaks! I have two sisters, one is adopted and when she went missing, I set out to find her. Then I saw a butterfly with eyes and got sidetracked saving Miitopia, haha. But I made lots of new friends! (And a boyfriend, hehe)

This is Lilly! She's 13 She's a popstar! She has a little brother named Scrub. She has a beauty mark that floats next to her! It's genetic. She was the first person I met on my journey. She is so positive and encouraging to everyone, that it makes me worry about her hiding her feelings...

This is Julie! She's 16. She came from a Knights' Academy! You should hear her talk about sneaking out to join me and Lilly, it sounds AWESOME. Though she does have a stutter, I don't mind, though she can be hard to understand sometimes. She has a crush on a guy from the Academy named Zack, though her and her best friend fight over him

Lyra ( LEER UH. Not LIEra) is an enigma. She is 14 years old! She comes from Neksdor and is an awesome thief, but her past is sad. Her mom died after her sister was born and her dad was...well I've seen Lyra's scars. She doesn't like to talk about it. She is also fiercely loyal and protective of Maxie, her sister! Another thing, unlike the rest of the girls, she's not interested in boys. And unlike the boys, she's not interested in girls. She doesn't seem attracted to anyone! I'm talking like, not platonic. She can make friends with anyone, but she is hard to approach...

Brix was my first friend in Neksdor after the dark lord Brandon took my friends captive. She's 14! She used to be a Mage, and a very inept one. She was bullied for it in her magic school place thing. She also has a lisp so that didn't help. She has a sister named Lotus! Anyway, she's very kind and tries her best, and when she tried being a cleric she was so good at it! She's waaaaaaay happier!

Yuko~chan is from Peculia and is 13. I think she's dating Conner now (more on him later). She acts kind of dumb, unaware of her surroundings, not knowing when certain things are good (stop SLEEPING IN BATTLE!) but she has a good heart! And also her culture is very different from mine so that's interesting. She has a twin named Akira~kun. He's her bro!

Poor Travis is sick. I wish I could get a better pic. Anyway, I didn't like him at first. This 15 year old would hide behind us in battle and it was annoying! But... well I was very stressed when I met him. And while Brix and Yuko~chan were trying their best, I felt I had to hide my pain, my fear. My friends were kidnapped and I had to deal with two newbies! But Travis...he let me vent. He listened to me. He gave me advice. We talked alot. Beneath his laid back exterior, he cares. And we became friends. And when he and the others were taken, I felt more upset about him being gone than anyone else. I realized how I felt. And after beating the dark lord and the darker lord being a thing, after another vent session I accidentally confessed. Apparently he felt the same and now we're a couple!

Celeste here is the youngest by far. She's only 8. Apparently, her older sister, Sylvie, was supposed to join us, but her face was stolen, so Celeste went in her sted. She's kind and sweet, but also, odd. A lot of the things she says don't add up. She talks about her home in the Elven forest, and how she and her sister are orphans, but sometimes she mentions evil parents. I figured out the truth, as did the rest of us, and its heartbreaking and Celeste is not at fault for any of it! She's also very...alien, in behavior. Having a near photographic memory is not normal. But we love Celeste, she's everyone's kid sister!

Alexis is 14! She is a princess with a twin brother named Alex. She is also going to marry a prince named Roberto when she's old enough, but they're in love so it's fine. However, a coup de ta happened! Her handmaid, a girl named Lucky, and the girl in love with Alex, revealed herself to be the daughter of the leader of this coup. Her real name? Luciena! Lou she en a! Not Lou she na. Gotta correct that. But Lucky was loyal and helped Alexis escape, but her brother was taken. Just like me, her quest started for a different purpose, but directionless. So when the Guardian Spirit recruited her, she joined us to save Miitopia and hopefully find her bro along the way!

Conner...this guy is a flirt. And french. OK he just has that accent. He's also from Peculia and is a nature spirit. He has a brother named Loki I think? He used to have a thing for me, but he was respectful when I rejected him (I was nice about it). Yuko~chan noticed his change in demeanor and took it upon herself to make him feel better. They became close. They know things about each other that the rest of us don't, just like me and Travis! Honestly, before this he flirted with everyone except for Travis (both only like girls) and Celeste (because Celeste is waaaaay younger than him. She is too smol) oh yeah and Conner is 14 I guess...