#and only this week its been stuck in my head all day everyday

[cowardstiel]

but don’t tell my fart, my achy breaky shart

[itsalwaysdark]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[antiwhores]

Your co-workers like to bully you.

Atleast thats what Bakugou suspected. He had to make an educated guess after your gloomy, closed off behavior everyday after work.

Bakugou works as a pro hero, no one gets to bully him in his work environment. But you work a humble job at a library about a mile or so away. He told you that you didn’t need to work the job since he brought more than enough money to the table to support you and him. But you insisted on working a job to “help” the both of you out. He accepted your money after a long debate with the conditions that you only pay for the phone bills.

You seemed to like your job though. In the early weeks of getting it he remembers you practically bouncing at the walls when you came home. You’d be bussing to talk about the newest work drama, the new book you read, a customer, etc.

He got into the habit of sitting down in the living room when he was home and waiting for you to come to him and sit on his lap. Then you’d tell him of your clearly exaggerated adventures of the day while he played with your hair.

But recently those nights were followed by not the usual fun answers, but dry answers to questions he asked to try to promote a stream of words from you.

He started to really get suspicious when you downright said no to him when he asked you to tell him about his day.

So he did what he did best and stuck his nose into your business.

He knew he couldn’t figure it out by himself without getting caught so he hired someone to figure it out for him.

A full on spy. A man that he met in the work field that owed him a favor after he saved his life.

“Is this really what you wanna cash out your favor on?” The man questioned.

Bakugou scoffed, “Just fuckin’ do it and stop questioning me.”

After two days the man reported back to Bakugou. Apparently, a group of coworkers had been harassing you. Talking shit, snarky comments, stealing your lunches, hiding your paperwork, etc.

Bakugou was fucking furious.

He stomped down to your work place, hero suit still on, and demanded to see the higher ups. They tried to stop him but he wouldn’t let up. No way some piece of shit workers were gonna bully his girl. He wouldn’t allow it!

To his luck, the district director was in a meeting with all the other higher ups. He busted into the meeting room, furious as ever. They were startled, dropping their pens and gasping.

After the shock went away, the noticed who this brash man was.

“Dynamight, sir, how can we help you?” The director spoke carefully. She recognized how Bakugou had a higher status than her. He could get them all fired by a phone call.

“Your shitty employees have been fucking with one of your hardest workers. I had my men come in and investigate and…”

He went into detail on what they’ve been doing to not just you, but other employees in the building. He degraded their department, saying that its a disgraceful work environment.

After he was done, his face was still red with anger. But he wasn’t the only one red. The district director was practically a tomato.

“I am so embarrassed and disappointed hearing this. They will be fired immediately. I am really sorry, Dynamight. I will make sure that they won’t be able to work at any other library in this district.”

He scoffed, turning around to head for the door. “Make it any other library in Japan.”

“Yes sir.” He said as Bakugou slammed the door behind him.

You came home happy that night and for the first time in a while, you told him about your (exaggerated) day.

[prettyboykatsuki]

lightning strike | h. iwaizumi

✮ tags ; afab + gn!reader, recently established relationship, mutual pining, pwp, dry humping + making out, nipple play, implied raw sex, super love-dovey, deliberate name change from iwaizumi to hajime 18+

✮ wc ; 4k (???????)

✮ a/n ; something deeply frightening happened to me in writing this but whatever. made it with ten minutes to spare happy bday mr iwaizumi

pls be nice if characterization is everywhere its been a while

He’s nervous.  

So nervous. 

You laugh at him over a can of beer, even harder when he visibly flinches at the sound. The room is too quiet since all of your company has left for the evening. Iwaizumi is tipsy but not drunk - though you think if he has another can he’ll get there just fine.  

“Your face is gonna get stuck if you keep frowning.”  

He shoots you a glare that makes your lips quirk up. “Shut up. You sound like my Ma.”  

“How is she by the way? Still good?”  

Iwaizumi snorts and takes a long sip of his beer. He tilts his head back against the couch, arm stretched along the seats. His muscles pull taut underneath the skintight material of his turtleneck. You find yourself sitting on your hands to calm down, but you’re too unfocused for it too work.  

“She’s good. She likes the countryside. Been growing squash and tomatoes and everything. Gonna try and stay with her a bit during off-season,” His voice is wistful and affectionate. An only son, filial and polite - you smile at him lovingly. “You should come visit with me.”  

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? Guess it’s the same since we’ve already met but since we’re going steady I though you might be too nervous.”  

The realization settles in too late. Just when you thought he’d swallow the nerves down, they make an appearance once again. He sits up straight, clearing his throat, diverting his gaze to the coffee table separating you both. A blush spreads up, all through his body. His ears turn especially turn some shade of cherry red. Dusts all along his nose. He tsks at you, tongue clicking with a familiar petulance. You bite back a laugh.  

“Going steady? Seriously?”  

“Well,” Your face twists in mischief as you look up at him, your eyes locking briefly. “You’d get all hissy if I called us lovers.”  

His eyes go wide - in equal parts shock and mild disgust. You can’t hold the laugh back that time time no matter how hard you try. It bubbles up out of you, euphoric and hysterical. Your laughter is too loud to savor his displeasure, so caught up in it that it takes you a few minutes to calm down again,  

“I hate you,” Iwaizumi mumbles. A grin splits your face. 

“No, you don’t.”  

He frowns and his blush darkens just a touch  

The room goes quiet save for the sound of your heartbeat. You try and collect yourself. The house feels too quiet, all prior company absen. Not that Mattsun and Maki dragged out Oikawa to be considerate of your newfound love or anything. You’re sure you’ve already gotten a long text detailing your extortion related to the favor. Still, you’re glad to be alone with him.  

It’s easy to split your time between all of them separately when you’re all in the same place - but complicated to be all together. And alone time with Iwaizumi has always been hard to come by.  

You’ve been pining for him since highschool - the frequency you wish to see him tuned tuned by the passing years of your relationship and feelings. You’ve gone through the whole spectrum of desires. From wanting to see him everyday constantly, to hoping you’d never have to see him again. It took you well over a decade to make any progress, and the entire process (while surely heartfelt) has been unmistakably clumsy and so, so long.  

Spending alone time with Iwaizumi has thus always been complicated except for this one time. You got together, officially, just last week. The day he came home, where you incidentally found yourselves alone together. Something that’d been rare years prior due to said pining and trying to get over him. You don’t even really know how it happened. It felt like the most significant moment in your life thus far and incomparably anticlimatic at once. He was just sending you home since you’d got completely shitfaced, and before you left you grabbed him by the collar and announced it. Just like that.  

(You threw up half-way through the car ride back. Your Uber was nice enough to pull over so you didn’t do it in his car.) 

You went home after and didn’t speak for days. It took a few more days for either of you to work up the courage to sort things out forreal, but you made it work with the help of even more alcohol.  

Things get busy though, when Oikawa returns home and Hajime is off-season. It’s rare things line up, and when they do - it’s only natural you spend all your time together. You did today too, celebrating Iwaizumi’s birthday among the four of you with take-out and Godzilla movies on your nice flatscreen.  

But you haven’t been alone with each other since your chat establishing your relationship as not a pipe-dream, which was notably through text.  

He’s nervous, so incredibly nervous but so are you. Just a little.  

You look up after being lost in thought - to see Iwaizumi stare at you. The air shifts slow and steady, thick tension stirring in your gut. You bite the inside of your cheek, rubbing your feet together as you fold over yourself, chin resting on your knee. 

You wonder if you should be the one to break the distance. Iwaizumi beats you to the punch this time. You suppose you’re even.  

“Come ‘ere.”  

He pushes the coffee table farther away from him with ease, careful not to knock anything over. Your tipsy self swoons over his competence, but you’re sure you’d do the same sober.  

The look he gives you as you crawl over to him makes you feel bashful. You go over until you’re sitting side by side - stretching your legs out. Your thighs barely touches. Iwaizumi jolts, swiping a hand over his face in exasperation.  

“Sorry,”  

You shake your head. “It’s okay.” Because it is, then just to make sure. “Are we okay?”  

“More than okay,” He admits, a breath of relief following the words. “It was a good birthday, by the way. Thank you.”  

“They’ll get upset that you only thanked me,”  

He bristles immediately making you giggle. “I’ll thank those knuckleheads later.” 

You smile at him, wide and bright. He looks at you before quickly looking away, laughing a little humorlessly to himself. You wonder what he’s thinking about but decide against asking, comfortable letting him go at whatever speed.  

“Can I uh—“ He clears his throat. “Wanna kiss you. Just uhh… shit.”  

You’d love to tease him, but you feel like your heart might explode out of your body so there’s not really much room. Nodding, you sit up on your knees and turn a little to face him. His features soften with remarkable fondness. You flush at the sudden attention. He sits up straighter, turning his head to face you. His forehead knocks against yours softly, noses brushes. His eyes are so sharp. You have to close your own when you feel him leaning in to kiss you.  

Iwaizumi is warm. His lips are softer than you thought they’d be. His hands feel big as one snakes up to cup your neck. He gives you one deep kiss, followed by two pecks before pulling away to make you chase him. He rewards you by kissing you agai. The sudden pressure makes your head spin.  

You pull away dazed. “You’re… super good at kissing.”  

“Yeah?”  

You press your thighs together at his reply. So sexy it’s unfair. “Uh-huh.”  

He gives you a weighted hum. 

His reaction spurs you on then. You pull away from him momentarily. Iwaizumi stares at you in reply, worry making his brow furrow. Before he can get the words out, you seat yourself on his lap. He’s taken aback as he realizes your intent, your arms around his neck. It’s not even really the alcohol, as much as it’s everything else. Cramped in your living room together, pressed up against your couch. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, and shiver in his arms smelling his cologne. Spicy with a hint of pine. He hesitates, hands settling so carefully on your hips.  

He lets you stay like that undisturbed until you’re ready to pull away. Like he senses you needed that. He’s always been so good at knowing what exactly you need. Suddenly restless you decide you need to look at him again - make sure he’s real. That this is real.  

“Hey,” He mutters. His pitch is low, sends your heart hammering.  

You giggle, fluttering nervously. “Hi,” And then, “You like me,”  

“Pfft,” His voice is so tender, so soft, so comforting. “More than that.”  

Suddenly overwhelmed by your own giddiness, you squeak. You want to bury yourself in his shoulder again, but he’s quick to hold your wrist and stop you. He pins you under his gaze. It’s so intense you can’t help but feel like a deer caught in headlights. Your head is empty and all he’s doing is looking at you.  

But maybe that’s the whole problem. He’s looking at you, and you’ve wanted that for more than a decade. Now having it is too much, too suddenly - and you’re almost afraid of having it. It’s just a gaze, but it’s yours. He’s telling he’s yours in a way that’s just like him.  

“You…” He starts on something before letting you go. “For a long time,”  

He doesn’t need to explain. You already know.  

“Me too,” 

He calms down when you get it..  

“Really?” He follows up. He doesn’t look at you as he goes on. “How long?”  

You think on it.  

“Since we were fifteen?”  

“Same as me, then.” He’s clumsy with the follow-up. “That’s…”  

“Dumb? Ridiculous? Too long?” You say, filling in the words for him. “I know.”  

The extent of your own longing comes to you in waves. Love, like the sea trapped behind ice - so easily shattered. You’re drowning, your lungs aching trying to get adjusted to what is finally yours. The shock of it comes and goes, but you’re surrounded by it all the same. Iwaizumi stares at you and you stare back and nothing in the world exists except this desire you’ve kept to yourself for years.  

His name comes out like a whimper on your lips. “Iwaizumi,”  

“Hajime,” He corrects, so tender. So sweet to you. “Please,”  

“Hajime,” You test the name out on your tongue. It’s sweet.  

He doesn’t say anything after that.  

Your breath hitches as Hajime crowds into your space again. His hands are firm on your hips as he kisses you again. It’s different from before, lingers longer - his tongue pressing along the seam of your lips until you open them and allow him in deeper.The taste of alcohol is clearer on your tongue, bitter remnants of malt making you drool at the corners of your mouth. You kiss hungrily, your hands carding through the short, black hair with a longing sigh. Hajime groans a little when you tug at the root and the only thing you can think to do is try to sink into him further. .  

The hear raises without warning. Your skin under your clothes feels like it’s on fire. It feels different too suddenly for you to adjust and keep completely calm. Lust that borders cosmic engraves into your bones. Crumbling under the weight of it, you kiss Hajime like your life would end without it. In the moment, it feels like it would. Exchanged breaths are the only source of air for that space and time. You feel frantic, hazy - and Hajime who you know to be so steady, proves to be in the same place as you. 

His hands are so big. You can feel how tight he grabs you, his thumb pressing into your hipbones - itching to go lower. You don’t want to pull away but you want more. In the second you take a breath you tell him as much. Your own delirium might bring you shame if you were in any place to really feel it. “You can touch me. However you want.”  

“Fuck. Don’t say that.”  

“Hajime, please.”  

You mutter something but you don’t catch what it really. Your head is swimming with unrepentant ardor and your tongue feels too heavy for your mouth. Hajime kisses you again and takes the lead. The pleasure echoes in how you sigh, your hips rutting against his lap as his hands squeeze your ass. His hands are so fucking big - strong and kind and hold you with no uncertainty. The groping goes straight to your cunt, stomach starting to twist with familiar arousal. You push your hips against him again.  

You’re hardly thinking about it. Hardly thinking at all - no coherency or sense thrumming through your brain except his name. Hajime, Hajime, Hajime. An incantation of destiny. A love song.  

You feel his fingers inch up to go underneath your shirt - all of a sudden feeling burdened by all the layers between you. You can’t calm down. 

He pulls away from you first in that instance. Before you can ask, he nudges himself close to your neck, kissing along your jaw. You feel the fabric of your shirt tug. “Can I take this off?”  

You nod rapidly, then mimic him wanting him to do the same. His laugh is raspy in the follow through - your shirt and bra discarded somewhere on the floor. He stops suddenly, flicking his gaze up to you like he’s asking permission again. You just nod, not knowing how else to convey your desires.  

Your nipples pebble in response to the arousal and cool air. Hajime’s tongue flicks from his lips.  

His gaze makes you feel ticklish. He runs his palms over your tits with an appreciative noise. His eyes linger long enough to make your skin go hot all over, your spine prickling with heat.  

“Staring,”  

He looks up at your face, amused by your pout then kisses you as he feels you up, calloused palms brushing against your nipples, tits fitting perfectly in his hands. He smiles a little against your mouth. “Guess I am.”  

“Take yours off,” You plea. 

He obliges you, peeling the tight shirt away from his body and leaving his bare torso in full view. The proximity makes your lungs tighten like they can’t get enough air - heat radiating from his skin. His physique is toned, layers of muscle soft and comfortable He’s structured and gorgeous like a statue. You’re greeted by his broad chest and the corded muscles of his biceps. All sinew and strength, down his core. Strong and stable and big everywhere you could possibly look. You feel awestruck, mouth-watering at the sight - clit throbbing. Objectively attractive, you’re sure anyone in your place would feel the same. But this is your Hajime and the body he’s worked so hard on, full grown and yours. The trail of hairs down his stomach, getting coarse. The v-line of his waist makes you clench. 

 Too much.  

 The words tumble out of you before you can stop them, like water spilling from a broken dam. “I want you to fuck me so bad,”  

His brows raise. You can feel something twitch hard against your clothed pussy. At full mast underneath the confines of his pants. \Your eyes go wet when you realize what it is. Mind sticky, you draw your lips into a pout and silent protest. Despite your desperation, you almost want to say it again, pleasure thrumming through your body at his reaction. It feels like electricity sparking up from the base of your spine all the way to the top of your head. 

 Hajime presses his face to your neck all over again - hot, open mouth kisses trailing from jaw to chest. You gasp when his mouth closes around your tits, tongue laving over the tender skin and making your back arch.  

“Wanna fuck you so bad,” He mirrors. His voice is scratchy and his grip is tight. “Been wanting to fuck you so bad for so long, you have no idea.”  

There’s something true and well pathetic about the yearning that wells up inside of your gut and settles itself in your sternum. It spreads and grows and tangles in your ribs, curls around the vessels of your heartbeat. The kind of yearning that makes your whole being tremble, makes you want to preen and sing like a canary. It’d be good if time stood still so he could fuck you infintely - never being able to go where you can’t reach.  

You rock against him and Hajime holds you steady like always. His voice drops down to murmur - speaking with alarming clarity. You’re teary from the sound of his voice.  

“Let’s cum together,” He offers as reprieve, so sweet despite the harsh grip on your hips as he draws your weight down closer to him. You’re suddenly conscious of your choice in clothes - how thin the fabric of your shorts really as as the rough outline of his cock presses against the seam. You’re glad you didn’t wear underwear ���And then I’ll make you cum again. I’ll take care of you,”  

“You always take care of me,” You say with no awareness of your surroundings. He laughs breathlessly. ‘ 

“Yeah..since it’s you, it’s easy.”  

You go wide-eyed but don’t get a minute to dissect. Not bothering to unbutton his jeans, you gape at the hard outline of his cock confined in black boxers. his  He picks you up with ease, your legs wrapping around his waist as your spine touches the carpet of your living room floor. You make a surprised noise as you’re let down gently. He doesn’t unfurl you from him. You spark back to life as his lips meet yours again chastely. The complaint you had dies on your lips when he trails down your jaw again. His voice is next to your ear, sinfully rough - warm breath tickling your skin. His teeth tug on your ear lobe and you shiver.  

“Tell me if it’s too much,”  

You don’t get a chance to ask about it.  

The sudden motion of his hard cock rutting and humping against your sticky, wet cunt punches the air of out of your lungs.  

There’s only a single layer of wet fabric keeping him from fucking you.  The very idea makes your pussy throb unhelpfully. You understand all of a sudden that this was what he meant about wanting to make you cum. But it’s Hajime, your Hajime - so making you do any work wouldn’t cut it. Humping you in missionary of all things like he’s already inside you.  

The thought overwhelms and you gasp.  

You don’t recognize the sound of your own voice, so high and pitchy with need. Pure pornography. But there’s no camera for you perform for, nothing but Hajime above with with a heavy gaze. Your spine arches at the sensation once it hits its stride, the angle of friction just right. The indirect touches makes your core throb. Your clit has been achingly sensitive for so long, and the release of tension in a single thrust is enough to make you shudder each time. It feels like you’ve been holding the feeling in your entire life. You wheeze his name out brokenly as he does it again - a sharp thrust, precise enough to be perfect like he already knows you that well.  

Your lower body feels week as the arousal starts to climb to a steady chorus. You pant for him like a bitch in heat.  

He’s not inside you but the smack of his hips against yours makes you feel like you’re getting fucked anyways. You imagine how it’ll feel when he really fucks you and can’t see straight after the fact. Each little movement spreads precum along your shorts, already wet with your own arousal. The friction of the damp fabric makes you cry out from pleasure,  animalistic with need. Your nails dig into his biceps as he kisses you all over, wherever he can possible reach. Along your neck, shoulders, collarbones chest. Any place he has accsess.  

You want him so fucking deep it’s frustrating, want him up to your throat - but the lack of direct touch makes you want him more desperately. And it makes it feel so, so good. The kind of pleasure that’s dull and throbbing but makes something in your spine go alight, like shoving your thumb into a bruise. You want Hajime to press himself into you hard enough to make the healed dull yellows vibrant purple and red all over again.  

You gasp helplessly each time he rocks his hips into you. He’s whispering such filth against your ear, into your mouth each time you kiss and you can’t reply with anything but his name. He praises you each time anyway, goads you into saying it again. Again and again and again until you can’t find your own voice.  

“Say it again,” Hoarse, punctuated by another thrust that nearly drives you over the edge and makes your eyes go wide. “Say my name again, baby”  

“Hajime.” So you say it- can’t think of any substitute since you’re not sure god would suffice. Locked between you in the warm sticky air is just Hajime, all yours.  

Every muscle in your body starts to lock up as you hit the final stride to your orgasm. You want to cum so badly for him and only him. All over his cock in any way he’ll light you. The thought pushes you over the edge. Over and over and over until you hang over the precipice of your own orgasm. When it hits, it hits like a crash of thunder on open plain. Like suddenly everything in you that’s every been grounded in Earth is scattered with sparks, skating and careening across your body. You feel him in the fiber of your being. Your toes curl at the sudden release, not able to voice a warning that isn’t just a soft gargle in the back of your throat. He doesn’t stop or stutter in his motion, instead gripping your hips tight as he can while lets you run through your high - nothing but praise and affection.  

You can feel him more than you can see him cum along with you. Sticky, hot seed flowing in spurts as his dick twitches for you - his ragged breathing covering your skin in goosebumps. You moan at the warm sensation drenching your poor, covered pussy and find the load to be wasted though you feel contented anyway. 

 You’re barely sane enough to catch your breath, but he eventually lets you down - though you can’t keep from hugging him. You pull back to look at each other.  

You brush the sweat matted hair away from his forehead with a lovesick sigh and giggle. He looks down at you with a grin, pressing his forehead to yours with.  

“Can’t believe I came in my pants like a teenager,” He says through a laugh.  

“It’s like making up for lost time,” You say warmly, all floaty. “Plus, the way you were fucking me but not fucking me…definitely a man. It was really hot, you know?”  

He groans. “I’ll get riled up again.”  

You smile at him. “Let’s fuck lots for your birthday, Hajime.”  

“Is that the present you mentioned earlier?”  

You pretend to think on it. “Mm..no. Not just the sex, anyway.” 

He looks at you confused as you lean in closer to him. “It’s safe so there’s no condoms anywhere in this apartment, unless you wanna go stop to get some.”  

He gives you a blown out look of lust with a soft breath, voice bordering a growl. “As if I’d make it through the door now.”  

You laugh helplessly happy and kiss him. “Happy birthday.” And then a little quieter. “I love you.”  

He softens visibly but doesn’t say anything else. You don’t need to hear him to know.  

You think the spare copy of your keys might make him cry. So you decide you’ll give it to him later. 

 The clock hasn’t hit midnight yet, anyhow. You have plenty of time.  

Now and always.  

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 12

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.

wc [6.2k]

a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 11

It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.

The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.

"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."

That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.

You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.

You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.

Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.

Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.

You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"

The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.

Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"

You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."

She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.

James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.

"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."

You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.

"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"

Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.

When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.

You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.

Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.

Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."

"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.

Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.

You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.

You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"

"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."

You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."

"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."

You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."

You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"

"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.

"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."

Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.

"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"

Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"

"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"

You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."

"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"

Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.

"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."

"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."

You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."

"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"

"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.

"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."

Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."

"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"

Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.

"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."

"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.

"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."

He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."

You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.

"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"

Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"

Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.

"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.

You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.

With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.

He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.

At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.

"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.

You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."

"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."

Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.

"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."

You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."

"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."

He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."

You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.

"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."

You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."

You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.

He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."

You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.

"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.

"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."

You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.

"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."

The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.

"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."

You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.

Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."

Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.

"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"

"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."

You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.

"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."

James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"

The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.

"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."

Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.

"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"

You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.

"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."

James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.

"You could never lose me."

His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.

"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."

You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.

James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"For Merlin's sake."

His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.

You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.

You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.

You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.

"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.

When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.

"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."

Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"

He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.

The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.

"It's you. It's always been you."

James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.

"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"

"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.

You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.

You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.

You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.

You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.

"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.

You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.

You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.

James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.

You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.

James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.

"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."

You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.

"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.

And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11 @garfieldsladybird @empath-bunny @urmykindofwoman @bambi-jp @babyclea @kenjikishimotoswifey @cloudroomblog @the-marauders-mapp @mooonyxoxo @imgondeletedis @moon-flowerrs @fruticake @arey0usirius @marauroon @swiftsgirlfriend @jamieolivia27 @magicwithaknife

[heavenlyraindrops]

Change With the Seasons| Stardew Valley| Sebastian x Reader

♡♡♡♡♡♡ Chapter One: Moving In

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A/N: This is just gonna be a cute romance between Seb and the Farmer, aka Reader. If It’s also available on AO3 and Quotev. I’d visit the masterlist if I were you, since it contains trigger warnings + the story blurb (summary/ synopsis)

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Chapter Summary: After moving in and getting accustomed to life at the farm, you happen to meet a certain someone on a rainy day by the docks.

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The wind whistled through the trees, snaking its way through your hair and causing the leaves to skitter. Immediately the breeze died down as soon as it picked up. 

You had just finished speaking to Major Lewis. Robin, the carpenter, however, had decided to stick around for some more conversation, an idea you weren’t completely against yet weren’t completely welcoming towards either. 

“You should definitely get to meeting all the townsfolk,” Robin said, eyes surveying the wooded, overgrown land. They flicked back to yours, and she smiled. “It’s not everyday we get a new person here in Pelican Town. So they’re all very eager to meet you.”

You smiled and nodded, as she continued:

“And you should meet my kids too. They live with me in the Mountains, oh, the mountains…”

As Robin went off on a long rant on how wonderful and fresh the crisp air of the mountains were, you looked out at the farm stretched before you. It was covered in rocks, wood, overgrown grass and trees. You winced at the thought of having to clean it all up. 

“Anyways, I won’t keep you any further!” Robin smiled, and left. 

You proceeded to dump your luggage on the bed, which creaked under the weight, and rolled your sleeves up. The first thing on your list today, you decided, was to go into town and see how it was. You had, after all, dropped your safe, stable life in Zuzu for this. 

The walk to the village wasn’t too long. You picked up a daffodil along the way, with no other reason than finding it pretty. Immediately you arrived at what seemed to be a clinic. You peered in, but it was closed. The building next to it had a large sign. Pierre’s General Store. A calendar nailed to the wall caught your attention- it was listing all the events and birthdays in town. A specific day seemed to jump out at you: Flower Dance. 

You’d have to ask Mayor Lewis about that. 

You put your hand on the door handle to Pierre’s store and pushed, but the doors refused to budge. It must have been locked, too. You checked your watch. It was only seven. That explained it. 

You wandered down a little, taking in the buildings and houses. You squinted at a small figure in the distance, loitering near a couple of flowers. Seemingly very interesting in them. 

As you moved closer, you realized that it was a little old woman, tending to the flowers. She smiled at you, and you smiled back. “You must be the new farmer. Welcome to the community, dear. I’m Evelyn. You can call me ‘Granny’ if you like.”

You flushed at her kindness. “Alright, Granny.”

She smiled and nodded, before heading inside a small blue house, claiming to go bake some cookies. 

You exhaled slowly, staring at the flowers. The spring sun seemed to glow off of everything, yet the breeze was cool. You felt a faint smile growing on your face. You’d like it here, in Pelican Town. You knew it. 

-

A week had passed. So had your doubts. 

Everyone in the town had been kind to you so far- so far, being the keyword as you hadn’t met many people yet. You’d woken up that morning with rain lashing down, pattering on the roof, echoing through the small cottage. With watering your rather small number of crops being taken care of, you’d decided to devote the day to fishing at the docks, ever grateful for the rather flimsy bamboo rod Willy had gifted you. 

The rain was pouring down harder than when you had left as you arrived at the docks. Your hair stuck to your forehead, slick with water, droplets of it rolling down your cheeks. You carefully picked your way across the docks, which had grown slippery. The sea was choppy, and occasionally hit against the supports of the docks but they were fortunately high enough from the water level. Yet still a few salty drops sprayed onto your face now and then. 

Being as drenched as you were all ready, you just decided to sit down on the edge of the dock, before casting out your rod. You didn’t even notice the man already sitting next to you amidst the whirling wind and drops of rain and seawater. You shivered, cold, before glancing to the side and-

“Oh!” You jumped in surprised, almost toppling off the dock and into the angry sea. “H-hello.”

The man stared at you in silence, the black strands of hair obscuring his face, making it unable to be seen properly, before turning back to the sea. “Hey.”

You’d never felt awkward with the people in Pelican Town until now. You forced a nervous smile, tilting your head. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. You don’t mind if I sit here, right?”

He dug his hands into the pockets of his black sweatshirt, the moody look on his face deepening. “Whatever,” he muttered, then said under his breath, “The ocean’s better enjoyed alone, though.”

Your own frown hardened into a scowl. “What’s that supposed to mean?” It hadn’t even been ten seconds since you’d met this guy and you were already starting to feel a growing dislike for him.

“Nothing,” he said. You noticed the eyeliner around his eyes getting slightly messed up from the rain, and stared hard back out at sea. So much for everyone in the twon being nice. You must have jinxed it, or something. 

“What’s your name, anyways?” You asked, taking another stab at being friendly. 

“Sebastian,” came the blunt reply.

You stared at him again, for a moment. He caught you staring, and raised an eyebrow, an action which for some reason made your heart pound. “What?”

“Nothing.” You turned your attention back to the fishing rod. The weather was becoming harsher now, your clothes completely drenched through with droplets rolling down your face and arms. Thunder rolled and lightning flashed, making you jump and let out a small noise. Sebastian smirked and you glared at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, clearly mocking you in such a subtle way you wouldn’t expect. You scowled, feeling something tug at the rod. It was a soggy newspaper. Feeling your face burn with embarrassment, you picked it up and scrunched it up in your hand before getting up and stomping down the dock, back towards your farm. 

“Nothing,” You muttered, mockingly. That day, you decided. 

You do not like Sebastian. 

[barbinaj-blog]

After Hours - Hasan Piker Fanfic

tags: Lawyer AU, Coworkers to Lovers, Public place, SoftDom Hasan, Slight Degradation, Dirty Talk, Fingering

(((Minors DNI, 18+)))

“Pass me that stapler?” Hasan asked, not looking up from his stack of endless papers. His nose was pointed at his heavy workload, brow stuck to a deep line that bisected his forehead.

I didn’t respond verbally, just grabbed the rectangular office item and held it suspended in front of him for a few seconds.

His face lifted to look me in the eye, a single inky curl bouncing in front of his glasses. His forearm, now exposed because of his rolled up sleeves, slowly raised up his hand to push his glasses back up from the tip of his nose to properly see my blank expression. Or rather, an expression I had forced myself to put on since I’ve been put on this case with him.

Something about Hasan just jerked my ovaries slightly to the left. It only really gets obvious when we’re alone, which doesn’t happen often; but over the past week, this case that both our supervisors put us on duty to comb through made it so we had to put in even more overtime since starting at Grandor & Belfort.

He let out a sigh. “Please?”

“You’d think you were raised by wolves.” I placed it near his computer on the shared desk we were on in the library. He scoffed and swiped it as quickly as I left it, his finger brushing mine ever so slightly.

“Wolves would have been a cooler origin story for me, for sure.” He quipped flatly. I tried to stifle my snicker but half of it slipped out of me.

“Yeah? So you and the boys can bond over being true alphas?” I shot back.

“Only on the weekends, we don’t wanna do too much. Alphas don’t have to.” He grunted as he stood up and went to the bookcase, seemingly searching for another tome to rifle through.

I shook my head in wry amusement at how he can be such a levelheaded brat. It was impressive honestly. Which, if you ever saw Hasan from across the street, that would be the last thing you’d think he would be like.

Standing at an impressive 6’4, he was like an industrial container. Big and thick, a bit hairy and generally to himself. His hands were almost always balled up, and I’d notice his thumb would always be picking at his palm. Probably at the calluses he’d formed from constantly grinding weights into his fists everyday, without fail. Except for tonight.

“Did you find the terms set by the first trial?”

I didn’t realize i had been staring at him till he asked. I jolted back to work, fishing in my own mountain of copies. I stood up to try and find the file, biting the insides my cheek.

“You did find it, didn’t you?” I craned my head around to see his face a little bit too close. I felt the whispers of his breath on the back of my neck—typically, I’d be incredibly uncomfortable with someone, particularly a man, being right behind me, but this time my entire body was caught in the vice grip of adrenaline.

He smelled really good too.

“Y-yeah I swear I did…” I whipped my head back to my side of the desk, but I couldn’t focus in the sea of white sheets and black ink surrounding. All I could hear is a my heart thumping against my rib cage, practically trying to claw its way out of me.

“It’s right here…” His voice softened like soft serve melting on a hot day, dripping down slowly like his arm over my shoulder to the file that was on my right. He was tall enough to reach it, but I didn’t have the sense to duck so his chest wouldn’t brush up against my back like it did.

He pulled back and took a beat. “Could you pass it to me?”

My face was hot, and I quickly grabbed the paper and flung it at him without another word.

“Sorry, did I do something?”

“No, it’s allergies.” I squeaked.

He paused. He took the item from my hand and i felt his presence leave from behind me. I just stood there frozen and tried my best to not disintegrate into dust. My eyes fluttered and began to unblur, so I finally sat back down, my legs giving out much quicker than I had thought.

I felt something cold on my head and jumped at the sudden sensation.

“A peace offering.” Hasan plopped a can of fanta in front of me on my desk. I rubbed my shaved head and watched him also sit in front of me, opening his own can of the fizzy drink.

“And a sign that we should take a break.” He leaned back slightly in his chair, his wide frame hiding the chair out of sight. He took a sip, and kept his eye on my for a second while drinking. I cleared my throat and took that as a sign to quench my thirst.

“Thanks.” I popped the can open and took a light sip, still trying to compose the waves of somersaults that my gut was experiencing. “Fanta is my favorite.”

“I prefer diet coke, but fanta is up there with the greats.”

“Diet coke is literally car cleaner.” I heard myself say.

He shrugged. “Need to keep my engine clean. All this horsepower needs maintenance.”

A giggle nearly made me choke on my drink. “And that’s why, as a society, men are left behind. You just compared yourself to an object like it was nothing!”

“I’m calling myself an object! It’s acceptable if a man does it.”

“What, so if I did it then it would be different?”

“Oh 100%.”

“How?”

“Because.”

My brows pushed up, and I leaned in a little waiting for his response.

“Because you’re you.”

“And that means?”

He let out a short puff of air, and shifted in his seat a little. “That means that if you did it, it would mean something.”

I blinked at his answer. He continued “It would mean that your thoughts are impure.”

“And yours aren’t?” A dry chuckled escaped me.

He flashed a smile that I could only call mischievous. “Depends on who’s asking.”

“I’m asking.”

“And I plead the 5th.”

My back slumped back against my chair, arms crossed, my mind fizzling at what he meant by my specific objectification of him being different.

“Then what if I said you were a wet blanket of a person.”

He scoffed, looking away for a beat and swinging his heavy gaze back at me. “Yeah? You into that sorta thing?”

“No—” I stopped midway through my sentence because he was smiling at me. His lips were curled mischievously, his mouth slightly ajar. I could see his the underside his tongue as it pressed against his palette, as his eyes stayed deadlocked between my nose and chin. I swore his eyes slid over my lips too.

“You shouldn’t chew on your lip like that.” His voice was low and breathy, and quiet. But I heard him. “You do that a quite a bit.”

My face bloomed a heated blush, and I released my bottom lip. “Bad habit.” Shit. My poker face might be worse than I thought. I felt myself squirm in place.

“It’s cute.”

My eyes shot back at him. He was even more relaxed, his two forefingers holding his temple with his elbow on his arm rest.

“You got a booger though.” He scrunched up his nose at me. My hand snapped to cover my nose, and swivelled my back to him as my insides melted in embarrassment. I wiped my top lip beneath my nose, trying to capture the little thing that cost me my dignity in front of him.

“D’you get it?” He laughed.

“Hasan, I appreciate the concern but I’d love if you didn’t make more fun of me right now.” My voice trembled at the end.

“I’m not” He chuckled. I felt the chair turn back around, my sight line at his crotch for a split second. He crouched down to my level, his lashes low on his face and lips slightly parted. I saw the shimmer of his tongue swipe over his bottom lip.

“Move your hand,” his voice vibrated low and my lower stomach caught the frequency like a tuning fork. Buzzing with want and excitement. My hand wilted away from my lip.

“You’re so gullible.” He reached out, in what seemed like slow motion, and traced a feather light line over my cheek, trailing to my lips. His thumb pressed into the seam of my mouth, slipping in easily.

“Shit…” He hissed. I could barely keep my eyes open as the wave of pleasure washed over me. I had forgotten to breathe it seemed, my vision getting spottier and my head felt like it was floating off my body.

“Hey hey, breathe, baby.” My eyes popped open at the pet name and I gulped some air back into my lungs.

“There you go baby, there you go…” He eclipsed the space between us, tugging his finger out my mouth, despite my whines of protest. I could barely hear my own voice from the rush of blood going to my head.

As quickly as his finger left my lips, the tip of his nose pecked mine and I laid my forehead against his just to take a moment of rest.

“You’re squeezing your legs.” He said quietly. I hadn’t noticed it till I felt his hand on my knee. He slid his hand down my thigh, my breath growing more irregular by the moment.

“Hasan, please, I—” He reached my centre, using the friction of my dress pants against my growing need, palm out. I pressed my hips forward, searching for that feeling. A piece of lighting struck my core and he silenced my moans with his mouth. His lips were like sweet relief, quenching my desperation with his taste.

Kissing Hasan was something I thought about, but in practice I couldn’t believe how good it felt. It couldn’t have felt better, and the more he pushed into me the more I let him in. Rival to his tongue was only his hand, large and quick, already in my pants and past my underwear.

“Fuck…you’re so wet for me…” His voice sounded strained from something, but I wasn’t ready to detach from his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he took that as an opportunity to lift me from my chair to the desk.

My fly had been unzipped and he sunk deeper into my folds, so slow and cruel. Everytime he left my sweet pressure I ran back to it, bucking against his movements to guide him where to go. The back and forth was agonizing, but so perfect. The inconsistent pleasure was addictive.

“You’re so cute, trying to tell me where to go…” He said in a mocking tone. “You like when I touch you here?”

I nodded into his shoulder, clamping my lips together.

“Yeah? You like this don’t you? In a public place? Getting all wet for me?”

I could barely respond with anything more than moanful breaths—he was making me lose my mind. My mind was fogged up by his smell and his voice, his breath, his taste. I wanted to taste him again.

“I’m not talking to myself, am I?” I looked up at him, and pushed my chin up to his face to kiss.

“Nuh-uh. I asked you a question, baby. Answer.”

“I do, I love it, please Hasan,” He drove his hips forward and that spread me open even more. My knees were higher up near his torso, causing me to use one of my arms to steady myself behind me. He used his free hand to tug my pants down from my ass, and I lifted myself to get them off in one fell swoop. He captured my lips again, and I sang my praises into his mouth at the return of his tongue.

He kept pressing into me, slowly and gently laying me down on the table. He cradled my head and pushed the laptop and books out the way, still digging at my shivering insides with his thick fingers.

“Fuckin’ hell, you’re not gonna cum are you? Just from me fingering you like this?” He started to pull my pant legs off, making me more exposed but freer than ever. He kept my thighs pressed together, crossed at the ankles, laying across his left shoulder.

A mangled groan at the back of my throat seeped out of me as he started fingering me faster and faster, his thumb now bullying my clit. “Hasan, please don’t sto—”

“You’re not listening babe, I asked if you’re gonna cum from me just playing with your pussy in the library. Are you?” He was panting too now, pushing my straight legs closer to my chest, his face looking down on me with nothing but lust and something a shade darker than sex.

“Yes, please, it feels so good, I can’t take it any longer…!”

“Then cum.” He kissed me and I was whisked away. He kept nudging inside me, and I succumbed to the fall of my orgasm. His tongue and fingers were acting as one, and I felt my core flex and bit on his lip, riding the choppy waves of my release.

A minute or ten passed by, I couldn’t tell, as he slowly ended his reign of pleasure over me, leaving trails of kisses on my cheek and my neck, to my unbuttoned blouse near my collarbone.

“You made such a mess on me, babe.” He licked at my jaw, while slowly emptying my entrance and rubbing my sensitive button.

“You’re gonna have to pay for that, sweetheart.” He smiled against my neck as it all faded to black.

—————

If you made it this far, leave a like or a comment. Let me know if this needs a part two!

[writeandsurvive]

Alden vs Gris ~ Alden Parker

There was only one thing that worried you about moving in with Alden; how your cat Gris was going to react to the new apartment. Morever, Gris and Alden weren't the best of friends. Your lovely boyfriend had tried everything to make a friend out of your furry baby, but Gris wasn't accommodating to your man at all.

You had saved Gris from the street when he was just a few weeks old. You fed him with a bottle at first, and the little thing automatically saw you as its mom. A role you happily took, and would fulfill until the end. You had learned to deal with Gris' separation anxiety, and things were mostly alright. But from the moment, you brought Alden to your place, your pet started to misbehave towards him.

Hissing at Alden, scratching him, peeing in his shoes, sitting on his face while he was asleep. Gris did it all. Over time, your cat calmed down a little, and there were times he'd just ignore Alden, and you both took it as wins.

But things were changing again.

The first day in Alden's place - and your new place - Gris refused to explode and just stayed by your feet, or meowed until you picked him up. "Let's give him a tour." Alden offered. And while you were carrying your cat in your arms, your boyfriend was showing him the entire apartment. A mentioned at some point how stupid he felt, but you dismissed it and told him how adorable he was.

That night, you and Alden weren't able to cuddle and enjoy your first night in your shared place, as Gris refused to let go of you. "He's cockblocking me again." Alden growled and you laughed.

"Since when are you using that term?"

"I might have complained about Gris to Torres."

"It worries me that Torres is becoming your confidant. Not sure he's full of great advice." You giggled.

"Considering that he told me to put something in Gris' food to make him sleep, I can tell you he is not."

"Don't you ever, Parker."

"I wouldn't." He tried to pet Gris' head but the little thing immediately hissed. "You're a mean thing."

Gris didn't like the change and his way of saying it was... to ruin Alden's plants and flowers. Everyday, you'd find one of them down on the floor, pot destroyed and soil everywhere. The worst was when he went to bed while being full of dirt. You tried to hide it from Alden at first, but he quickly realized that things were happening in his greenhouse. "Baby, we have a problem."

"What's up?"

"Either we have a thief who's only interested in my plants, or a ghost who makes them disappear. Or--"

You could tell he was suspicious about the real reason when he stared down at Gris who was by your feet. "Okay, I'm sorry, Gris is clearly taking it out on your plants. I should've told you, but --"

Alden walked over to you, making sure not to step on your pet. He softly cradled your face. "I'm not your ex, sweetheart. I won't ask you to choose between me and Gris." He kissed you. "Obviously, I'd prefer if this little thing could understand that I'm not his enemy, but he's not there yet and that's okay."

You let out a breath, and kissed him again. "I don't know what to do to make him like you."

"Clearly I can't seduce him like I seduced you." He smirked.

"The problem would've been solved a long time ago." You joked.

Gris was meowing at your first, wanting your attention. Alden sighed, stuck his tongue at Gris and kissed you again.

"Let's keep the greenhouse closed until further notice."

[loafbud]

Hrmm..... misophonia ramble 🔇

Just heard one of my triggers and I felt like venting!

The thing that sucks about my triggers is that one is common thing that everyone normally does and the other thing is also very common thing everyone normally does. It's not something I can simply avoid or minimize my exposure of: literally the only way I could avoid it is by isolating myself socially and physically, which... sucks ass. I don't want to tune out whenever someone's trying to talk to me while I'm wearing headphones.

Reclusive as I may be, a part of me does want to have at least some social experience in my life. But misophonia is like a roadblock to me for having that so, yay

I hate that my triggers is daily sounds. Especially when the chances of me hearing my more severe one is being mid-speech or if someone has a sore throat. I always gotta take hits at least five times a day, and it's physically and mentally hurts. 🫠

And it's not like I can tell people "hey the very normal human sounds you do make me feel suicidal!" That's like..... telling them "hey when you're around me, hold your fucking breath and don't breathe until I leave the room!" I'm afraid that they'll think that they've been hurting me all these years, but i'm like NOOOO PLEASE don't blame yourself for doing something normal and natural!!! You're NOT actively trying to hurt me, it's just MY BRAIN that translates the sound into knives in my hears..... idk WHY but it DOES, and i HATE my brain for that

I've never told my family about my suffering from misophonia: I've kept it to myself & have been masking it ever since fucking middle school, and I'm in my mid-20s rn

So I'm like... stuck. 🤨

Even when I have noise blasting and splatoon music blasting, I always have the hear the "shapes" of my misophonia triggers. (Like, still hear them but not at crystal clear volume)

I've already admitted... "defeat" in a way? Like, "Loaf, just suck it up and deal with it, this isn't something you can't run and hide from." So I just have to deal with it.

I have to mask everyday when I hear it: I try to hide it, but hearing any of my misophonia triggers gives me this knee-jerk reaction: I scowl, I shake my head like a wet dog, might even suppress a growl.

Like one day right before a family member left, they had a minor sore throat recovering from a common cold so they cleared it... and right after they closed the door behind them, I punched my fucking chest and had that shit sore for like... three days? "Why did I do that? Why did I do that?" I just paced around the house then cried in my room to just get the feelings out of the way. Admittedly, I almost panicked because I thought that shit was gonna evolve into something, but then goodness the ache had went away about a week ago. Again, it was only sore for a few days (my body was probably like "what the FUCK was that")

I don't want misophonia to be the reason I have missed out on life and waste my early adulthood rotting in my room, man. Its the reason I missed out on so much social and outdoor experiences already.

Suffering from this is also the reason why Vinyl exists as my fursona. Vinyl's the personification of my anger, that fire that swells within me. They're a representation for my more "darker" emotions.

So, ever since June 2019, I've been taking whatever aggression and depression I feel after I get misophonically triggered and just transmute that shit into art. I've been doing that a lot more, instead of threatening myself to put that pent-up energy into hurting myself again.

And even if these triggers do make me feel like doing something irreversible... I'll never bring myself to actually do it. I just try to sit and listen to my thoughts, just to hear them and listen, as uncomfortable and suffocating they get. I still have these, but again what I've been doing is (if i have any energy) I just put the feelings out into art. Most of the time I just sleep it off though, LOL.

Over the past 5 years, I've been drawing vent art to get my feelings out. I draw vent art for a variety of reasons, but my misophonia is one of them. I have like.... three or four that I never plan to post online cuz the imagery involves self-harm and suicidal ideations.

Hmmm...... but yeah. Normally this is where I'd say "i apologize for the ramble/vent" but...... this is tumblr: it's a blog site, Loafbud LOL

Mentally, I'm feeling fine. A tad bit better ever since writing this. Still a little shaken up from being triggered, but I hear it every day either way. I'm hoping that with time I eventually just hear it and then become numb and unphased to it.

But other than that...... just gotta ride it out. Me and my fucking ✨bestie✨, Misophonia. Who knows how long we'll be together?

No matter..... I REFUSE TO LET IT DEFINE ME. I WILL LIVE.

Love yall 🫶🏿

[idontknowwhatimdoinglol]

Diaval x gn reader (meeting) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To y/n everyday was the same. They would wake up, go to work on their farm only stopping to have a small meal before heading back, though recently a group of peasant women had moved near their house. She had first met them at the market. They were buying fabrics when two of them had started to bicker, which in the end led to one of them being shoved into a fruit stand and splattering the product all over. Safe to say they had gotten themselves banned. Feeling a bit of pity towards them, y/n had bought the fabrics they were planning to purchase and had been able to catch up to their wagon and give them the items. In return they had let them come back to their cottage and have some of there home grown vegetables as a thank you. As the weeks went on y/n had continued to bring them fabrics, flour and other things that they had needed from the market. Y/N would even help watch there orphan child Aurora when they had needed a nap or had to do the chores of the house. One day y/n had been on her way home after delivering a few bags of flower to the cottage when a man with messy black hair and scruffy clothing had fallen onto the path in front of them. "Are you alright?" asked y/n concerned for the stranger. "well nothing feels broken so I'm going to assume yes" he says standing up, brushing the dirt off of his black clothing. "I haven't seen you before, Are you new?" y/n questioned, not recognizing the handsome face of the stranger before her. "I've lived here my whole life, I've just stuck to the forest, less people" he answers. "makes sense, do you have a name?" y/n asks. "Diaval, and yours?" Diaval replies "I'm y/n its a pleasure to meet you Diaval" y/n says doing a small curtsy. "The pleasures all mine" he says kissing their hand. "i must get back before dark, I do hope to see you again" y/n says before walking off to their small farm a blush gracing their cheeks from Diaval's gesture.

bonus: "I cant believe you embarrassed me like that" Diaval said to the fae stepping out from the trees "you have been squawking about them for months now I figured you should meet for once" maleficent said "well not like that they probably think I'm a klutz and dont even get me started- CAW" Diaval tried to say but had been returned to his crow form with a swipe of magic "enough of your complaining without my help you never would've have spoke a word to them`" maleficent said before walking back into the forest Diaval following close behind

- - - - - - - - - - - . o 0 O 0 o . - - - - - - - - - -

[sassthatsarcasm]

OKAY Y'ALL DID THIS TO YOURSELVES

1629 AU: Leon is a farmhand working the Marner Estate and Mitch is the pampered socialite son.

THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! but enjoy :3

people to blame for this atrocity:

the director of that soft core gay porn sports betting ad

mm16 for his immaculate twink vibes

the various people in my notes who enabled this u know who u are

It’s just that he’s so sweet. Soft curls, full mouth, the delicate jut of his collarbone above the gentle untidiness of his shirt half-undone. Leon usually didn’t have time for these air-headed, privileged things, come to the country in the sweltering heat for their fantasy versions of slumming in. But – he’s sweet.

Leon – like his father and his father before him, ad nauseum – had been maintaining the grounds of the Marner Estate for what feels like all his life. So, he’s seen the Marner son grow into his limbs and his giant eyes and that stupid mouth, not that Leon was ever looking at his mouth.

Marner was the same as all of them. Mitchy, they called him – one of the carousel of soft, young things so tightly swaddled in their privilege Leon couldn’t believe they didn’t choke on it. Maybe they did and didn’t know that pain wasn’t pleasure. Mitch Marner laughed loud, took up space in the world without ever questioning if he deserved it. The world was his and he had Daddy’s fucking mansion to prove it.

For all of Leon’s thinly-veiled irritation, the Marners only ever converged on the Estate in the summer, when the baking sun drove them out of the city to breathe fresh country air. Still, he could usually minimise interaction with the Marner clan and spare himself a headache. There was just this way that moneyed folk laughed which sunk into his skin and made it sit uneasy over his bones. Maybe he was a snob - wouldn’t be the first time he’d been accused of it. They were snobs, too – wouldn’t ever dare to look the help in the eye.

So, for most summers of his life, Leon has been able to mostly avoid crossing paths with any of the Marners, especially the treasured son. He stuck to the edges of the grounds, rotating across the hedges in parallel to Mother Marner’s daily walks or the children kicking a ball around. Just the way he liked it.

But. Recently, he’s felt eyes following him as he makes the rounds and, when he looks up, Leon finds himself meeting those wide blue eyes, sitting pretty over flushed cheeks and that mouth that seemed to always be hanging open. Marner’s eyes would usually dart away first and he’d walk away quickly but Leon, day in and day out, would feel him on the periphery, following him around. At first, Leon is angry – his family has served the Marners faithfully for generations and he wouldn’t let a pampered, spoiled child doubt his loyalty to that legacy, if not to the family itself.

Then, the Marner kid gets bolder, eventually getting into his business everyday and asking inane questions about lawn maintenance and the different scientific names for the flowers scattered across the grounds. Leon watches Marner’s tongue trip over the word ‘scientific’ with a sceptical eye and wonders what the fuck the kid is up to.

Kid. Hm. Logically, Leon knew Marner could only be a couple of years younger than him but something about those eyes made him seem so much younger than he was, like he’d never had a care in the world. And really, Leon should have known that was the beginning of it all, or perhaps the end of it. He can never resist a wide-eyed creature too shy and sweet for its own good.

-

So, Leon didn’t think it would end up this way. These pretty, young things, they always look, taught to view things not theirs as things to want. Leon’s not an idiot – it’s been weeks of this, and he knows how to read the heavy-lidded looks Marner keeps sending him across the fucking topiary, what it means when Marner’s mouth goes, somehow, even looser when Leon lifts his shirt to wipe off his brow. Also, no one is that fucking interested in lawn curation, not even Leon. But he didn’t think it would actually lead to this, Leon pressing the Marner heir into the wall, calloused hands on slim wrists. Not knowing if it was the heat of the air or the heat of their bodies pressed tight that made sweat break of sickly-sweet over his skin.

Those shining eyes, staring up at him, the blue joy of them shadowed with something that intrigued Leon, God help him. The surprising strength of his whip-thin body. The unexpected thickness that Leon’s hands find when they skim across his thighs and arms and shoulders. And for all his sweetness, the way Marner gasps and claws his hands into Leon’s back, greedy in the way all rich boys were born to be. He’s pressing Leon so tight against him – Leon’s rough work shirt and his beard turning Marner’s exposed skin red, looking so tender that Leon’s mouth waters.

It’s the sting of his nails in Leon’s shoulder, the clamp of his teeth in Leon’s neck, that prompts him to get a little mean about it. Another thing about Leon: he can only handle so much sweetness before he reaches into the core of it and twists, see if can tease the worst out of someone in a race for pleasure.

Leon pushes his body even tighter into Marner, pinning his wrists against hips. Marner’s head shoots up, eyes wide, and his mouth slackens around a soft little sound of want.

“What do you need?” murmurs Leon, feeling the rumble of his voice against Marner’s chest.

Marner whines. “Anything, please, anything.” So eager for it. Leon kisses his neck and Marner’s head shoots back so abruptly it hits the wall, his desperate breaths fanning across Leon’s forehead.

Leon smirks. “Do you even know what you need? Has anyone ever shown you?” Marner’s cheeks flush, not out of arousal but embarrassment, and his eyes cast down. “I bet you don’t. I bet you’ve been good, kept your hands to yourself. But –” Here Leon takes Marner’s chin into his hand and firmly guides his face up until he’s looking at him again. “Those eyes. You’re a hungry little thing, aren’t you. You can’t hide from me.”

Then, surprising Leon, Marner’s eyes harden into a steely look of determination. “So, show me what I need.” Marner leans up, capturing Leon’s mouth in a breath-taking kiss that he feels down to knees. “Make it good for me.”

[tomatoart]

mwah your art is good and nice :>

can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.

do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?

thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>

thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah

i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^

tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.

Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great 

Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:

i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things

Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences

Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago

i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.

Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:

but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner

sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:

finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light  

its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:

beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.

tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!

flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!

using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)

Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.

Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL” 

clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too

I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!

[sacredartist33013]

Thought it'd be interesting to post a little sneak peak of orange wisteria on here.

“Did he leave already?” Leo nodded to his purple masked brother as he walked over to the loose burner and began the task he promised Mikey. “Usually we can get him to stay for at least another 30 minutes.” 

“Leo didn't even try to stall him for long.” The voice of their red masked brother chimed in as he walked into the main part of their lair, his usual scowl present on his face. “Apparently Mikey promised he'd tell us and Master Splinter whatever's been going on inside his head so fearless over here backed down.” Raphs face scrunched up slightly as he began to smell the familiar but annoying scent of that floral incense. “How the shell do we still not know what kinda flowers are Mikey using for that stuff anyway, even Splinters sandalwood stuff isn't as strong as this.” Raph complained as he walked away from the burner. Out of the whole family Raphael was the one most vocal about the dislike of how strong the fragrance of this incense blend was. 

“It is awfully strong for the first few minutes.” Leo admitted reluctantly. Even Leo and Splinter, who relatively enjoyed the smell of incense, couldn't handle too much of this blend at its strongest. It made Donnie worry if the incense was dangerous to animals but their father put a stop to that rather quickly. Splinter told them how it was a smell that reminded him of a particular type of incense the hamato clan used to lite, usually at night apparently. It also didn't affect any animals in a negative way according tk what he could remember of it. But they had stopped doing so when he was very young, so he couldn't remember what the flower used to make it was. Only that it was a part of some kind of effort at warding something off. “I still wonder what this stuff is supposed to ward off anyway? Bad luck? Raph scoffed a little.

“unless this stuff wards off our turtle luck then don't think so fearless. I swear that little nutball must be trying to ward off oxygen with how strong that stuff is.” suddenly Donnie shivered 

“Remember before we got him to cut it down to one lighting a day?” The two oldest turtles did not in fact want to remember that time. They swear the stagnant sewer air they usually had was much more appreciated than the feeling of choking on some sweet scent in the air. They literally stole the burner and were prepared to toss it out before Mikey literally barricaded himself in his room with it and refused to come out. Their youngst seemed truly horrified at the idea of scent not being in the air. Whispering to himself About how they won't be protected from whatever the plant protects them from if it stops. It took Splinter promising they'd leave his burner alone if he promised to only lit it once everyday for half an hour that he left his room. 

“Don't remind me Don, I swear my mouth tasted like flowers every time we went topside for a week.” Raph said with a slight gag. “Maybe Mikey can answer what he's burning along with why he looked like shredder and the kraang would burst into the lair if we had even a moment without it.” The concern the sai wielding turtle had wasn't lost on the other 2. They could all remember the sheer terror on Mikeys face when they tried staging an intervention on the subject,nor could anyone forget the scream Mikey made as he grabbed the burner and ran. It definitely made them feel off when they saw their youngest shaking in Splinters arms when he came out of his room, Apologizing for how excessive he's been with the incense to the point even he couldn't stand it. But something he saw when they had that fear fungus problem they were forced to deal with had stuck with him. It made him afraid of something only warded off by the floral scent apparently. 

“Personally I theorize it was some kind of Japanese myth he read about or a monster movie he watched. But there's behavior Mikey just hasn't shown before for me to be completely sure of that.” It wouldn't be the first time the youngest turtle spooked himself with something like horror movies and internet legends. But this time it felt different. More often than not the ninja clan could remember seeing their youngest assuring himself that whatever he saw 'wasn't real and 'didn't exist’ and maybe try to bunk with his brothers,that was expected. That was normal. For a day or two. Not a whole month. And it was them that had to convince him to bunk with them. And he still put up a small fight. As if trying to stop the older brothers from getting involved, it was a blessing that they knew how to get the youngest to agree to it.

//Okay so a little was maybe not the right answer

“Got any theories about his eye?” Leo asked, wondering if the resident genius had any clues to the mysterious injury.

“Just one.” Donnie confessed “based on the non external wounds or scars on his face it had to be an internal injury. And the fact that his vision is only blurred and the eye is relatively intact. I can only concur that it's a form of hyphema.” 

“Can you translate that from nerd speech?” Donnie did as Raph asked with an eye roll

“Because there's no outside injuries, I think Mikey suffered from of internal injury that caused bleeding in his eye.” that got oldest siblings eye's to widen. 

“What on earth could cause that?” Leo asked as he tried to remain calm, an internal injury that made his brother's eye bleed.

“Eye trauma is the most likely cause for damage that bad. Usually hemorrhaging in the eye doesn't cause such a big loss of vision for so long. But there's no evidence anything from dimension x caused any trauma. So it'd have to be inward.” 

[robinismywifee]

Back to the Old House - Chapter 7:

September 9th, 2034

[ 4 days after last chapter]

Raines age: 16 years, 6 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months

CW: trouble with eating

Words: 1796

Masterlist

Raines POV:

“So me and Tommy are gonna head out to Joels place for dinner tonight,”

Maria started, I already rolled my eyes. She saw and sighed, placing her fork down, which made a small clanking noise from her glass plate.

"Look, I know you and.."

I watched Marias face as she thought for an extra second if she should say her name.

"Ellie.." she said slowly, watching my expression to see if it was too far or not, I stayed silent, and she continued, "Are not on the best terms.. i'm

not quite sure why or what happened at all, and i'm not sure if i'm allowed to ask you, so I won't, but she clearly-"

"—Can you just get to the fucking point already?"

She pressed her lips together, and nodded. "Right.. well, you're more then welcome to come with me and Tommy. And we would both really appreciate it if you did.." Maria finished

"Look kid, I have a feeling you're gonna be stuck with us for awhile and Joel means alot to the both of us, hes our family, and we might not be family with you, but you're damn near it, and we think it'd be best if you got along with that household, we ain't gonna force you to come along or nothin, but.. we'd love for you to come, even if you don't speak a single word"

Tommy explained his thoughts. I picked at the remainder of my eggs, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

After a moment of awkward silence and glances, I spoke up, "I'm gonna head to Jesses before patrol. Thanks for the food" I got out of my chair, grabbing my bag off the floor, swinging it over my shoulders and left the front door, accidentally slamming it shut from my anger.

I took a deep breath when I existed, feeling the chilly summer morning breeze.

I had woken up almost 3 hours before patrol started and couldnt fall back asleep, so i've been ready for patrol for 2 hours now and I dont leave for another hour. I know I told Maria I was gonna go to Jesses but do I really want to? I mean, I know he would be up by now..

I decided to slowly walk to his house, stalling on knocking on his door. As I walked, I kept on thinking of her. Its like I couldn't even control it, my mind just always fell back to her.

I had gone through the first week of school already, I went the second day to actually learn but kept on going because I was enjoying the art class and Miss Collins' classes.

Everyday I tried my best to ignore Ellie, I also never replied to her paper she passed me, the reason being, I had no idea why. I also didn't know which thing she was referring to, but my guess was that it was about me being nice to her out of the blue and then immediately leaving.

I had no clue why. I just did. It was like my body moved faster then my brain. I don't know why I followed after her or why I gave her my food. I had no idea.

Before I knew it, I was standing infront of Jesses door. I knocked lightly on it.

A minute passed and I heard jogging footsteps, then I heard something fall from the inside and a small- "ow!"

and then, the door opened. "Oh! Hey Raine, oh shoot— is it time to go already?" he asked frantically

"No- no, we still have about 45 minutes, I just.. came early since I had nothing else to do.."

"Oh! that's sick! Miss me already, huh?" Jesse said sarcastically, before he left back inside for a minute, yelling goodbye to his mother, and came back outside, shutting his door, now with his backpack.

"I was just about to head to tipsy bison, wanna come with?"

"Uh, yeah sure, but i'm not gonna eat- I just had breakfast" I quickly explained, he looked at me, a look I couldn't tell what it meant, he then sighed and started walking.

"Well.. suit yourself then" he mumbled, I followed to his side.

Over this week, me and Jesse have gotten alot closer, since anytime I was out I was with him; patrol and school.

It was only a 5 minute walk and we were at the food bar.

People greeted Jesse as usual, but the sound of someone greeting me caught me off guard, until I saw it was Dina and I immediately greeted her back.

"Come sit! I just got here and was waiting for Jesse to show, it's nice to see you with him Raine"

"Oh, thanks Dina.." I hummed, sitting beside Dina with Jesse across

Jesse ordered his food and so did Dina—

"Are you sure you don't want anything? I mean, you never eat lunch at school and I never see you eat breakfast?"

"Oh.. it's nothing, I just prefer to eat at Marias" I shrugged, Dina nodded, believing it.

"Fuck.. it's so freezing this morning.." i hummed to myself, feeling the hairs on my arms lift, and before I knew it, hands were placing a warm fabric around my shoulders. I looked over to see Dina, know not wearing a jacket, and the wool jacket she wore wrapped around me, ontop of my cold leather jacket.

"Oh- Dina, you dont have to-"

"No! Trust me it's fine! Keep it for the day, I was actually starting to sweat" she smiled sweatly

"A- are you sure? I mean, if we run into infected or maybe even people, I could easily stain it.."

"Trust me, I don't care, as long as your comfortable!"

I went to protest again but before I could Jesse and Dinas breakfast was being placed on the table.

I washed my hands of the dirt scraped onto them, and splashed my face with cold water, rubbing my eyes tiredly, turning off the fossett and patting my face dry with a towel.

I looked into the mirror and sighed.

Todays patrol was tiring. We only ran into one clicker, but we also ran into the clicker by both of us falling through the floor of a building and spending an hour on trying to get out.

My legs hurt from how I fell and I gained multiple new cuts and bruises. I had just spent an hour patching myself up and washing my body from the blood and dirt. I had even changed out of my dirty clothes and wore freshly washed ones. All I wanted to do was fall into bed and let my body rest, but I still had to give Dina her jacket back.

I was actually very thankful Dina had lended me her thick wool jacket, because the morning chill had ended up staying the same throughout all patrol and it still was chilly. Even if it was still summer, it was on the cusk of fall, and the autumn weather was starting to show.

I tied on my shoes, and slipped on my jacket, and had Dinas jacket in my arm. I left the empty house— since Maria and Tommy were both still out— and began to walk to Dinas house.

Thankfully, I knew were Dina lived from when we'd walk home from school, and I would see her enter her house.

It was closer to my house then Jesses house was, so it should be a short walk.

As I walked, I made sure to keep a careful eye for her house, alot of the homes in Jackson looked the same and blended together.

I silently cheered to myself when I recognized her house. I walked up to the door and softly knocked, hoping she was home.

I could hear voices from inside but they were from afar and very muffled, I couldn't hear what they were saying or who was saying it, but it sounded like two people breifly aurging.

I knocked again, unsure if the people inside heard me. It was silent for a minute before I heard footsteps, and then a way too familiar voice—

"Why the fuck are you making us get up Jess-"

The door opened and the voice matched the face. She stood with her arms crossed with an annoyed expression on her face, but when her eyes met mine, her face softened and reddened. Her mouth was opened slightly, from how she stopped talking mid sentence.

I could tell that my face was red from the heat flash I suddenly got, I stared into her eyes, my lips slightly parted aswell, and my eyes widened. We both stared at eachother, in a trance.

She was the first to break the eye contact. She seemed to have processed who she was staring at, and immediately looked to the ground, "Uh.." she awkwardly said..

"I.." I started, but felt my voice start to shake, I gulped and looked to the ground, trying to think of what to say, but it was hard when my brain was thinking a million other thoughts all at once.

"Uhm.." She said, still looking down at her feet.

"Wh- Where.. Dina.." I couldn't even make out a complete sentance from how nervous I felt, it felt like I was getting punched in the stomach and kicked in the eye.

"O- oh- right.. uh.. i- ill.. get.... get her" Ellie stuttered, and turned around, the door still half opened, I watched as she faded into the halls.

Why is Ellie at Dinas house?

A minute later, Dina came out. Her face was a bit red and she seemed embarrassed, "Hey- i'm really sorry about that.. we both thought you were Jesse.. uh, what- what did you need?" Dina explained,

"J- just.. wanted to.." I still couldn't complete a sentance, my voice was shakey and my face was burning red. I lifted up Dinas jacket I had in my hand.

"Oh! Right! Yeah- I should have remembered.. thank you.." Dina said, taking it out of my hand.

"Uh- Hey, i'm really sorry I didn't mean to- I- uh- also sorry for not telling you that we're friends with her.. we just didn't want you to.. get nervous or anything.."

Friends? We? So Jesse is too? Is that what Cat meant when she said 'everyone was gonna be there'? Her, Ellie, and Dina? Thats Jesses friend group? And he never fucking told me?

I nodded to Dina. "Kay.. i'm.. i'm gonna go now.." I quickly turned around and sped walked home, not looking back.

———

A/n:

this wasnt proof read, i didnt have time since i just got back to school so sorry if theres mistakes. please gimmie notes and comments and comment to be in taglist:

tags:

@amloury

[tammyfeabakker]

Dear Diary,

Got new tires... called my supposedly soulmate... to put them on. Nothing.. thats ok walmart is cheaper and the inspection station is right there. Time to bite the bullet! My blow out... wasn't really a blow out. The tread peeled off... slapped my tail light and cracked it. Wtf right. Hopefully it passes. Now! Its been very quiet. Once was like living next to a wawa packing lot. People going to the shop.. pow wows. I havnt seen his nephew since I heard yelling.. the ex was at the shop when he stopped in. He use to be there like 3 days a week maybe. This all seemed to start.. when my supposedly soulmate and his ex started secret rendezvous. Since that started up. She's been down there everyday for hours. And he has stopped at her house. And things travel real fast around these parts. He lost his family and customers because of her. He is probably telling everyone they're friends with benefits 🤑. To me its a fucking betrayal. B E T R A Y A L! He would be lying. Because thats not what I see. I see betrayal going on. I went down there for tires. She ran down after I left.. she was there 3 hours. Before they started screwing around. No more then a half. She waits until his assistant leaves jumps in car runs down there. She was there when he was there. Then started doing it after he left. I was there Thursday.. Friday evening she ran down there. I heard some yelling. Her pulling her car here then over there. Backed in got out. Went back in the shop. 5 mins later she left. Struck me hassle at the castle. He stopped at her house on his way out. Idk what or even she came out. This morning notice the dog hasn't been taking out. Sign they aren't talking.. he suppose to be fishing on the weekend. They rendezvous at the boat. I'm assuming so his family don't see her car out front. She leaves Saturday night comes home Sunday. Started since his boat went in. He is down at the shop.. I basically know why the universe hasn't set me up with him. The more I get to know him the more info I'm getting on him. The more I don't think.. jus put it this way... he is definitely pussy whipped by her. I'm not stuck up. But if I was a guy. I wouldn't fuck her with Joe Biden dick. Why I'm being treated like the red headed step child is beyond me. I'm a customer. Shes not only unattractive but she's a grandiose narcissist. And its all about her. And jus the look on her face when things aren't going her way. I'm starting to think. Shes telling him not to service my car anymore. And he can't tell me that because I will fucking loose it on her and him. He knows it. Him for being stupid and going back with her and her because she is in my business. That will be the straw that broke the camels back it makes sense. Or she's really mentally disturb. I'm thankful I learned all this because I'm totally turned off. I'm jus addicted to the soap opera going on here. Tune into the next episode of Loose Cannon Range lane.

[starnightlover]

Hello star, can I confide in you please , I am in need of advice and reassurance

I just raed a post of yours ir was an ask from someone several weeks back. This person talks about struggling to improve their sc and how their siblings are treated better and they are treated like shit. I think they also said they would never wish that on their siblings and how everywhere they go they are ignored and stuff. And I resonate so much with this that I hate to even admit

I know I am the creator and I know about loa and stuff still my sc is bad. I totally get their pain when they said about being treated worse than others. I know how shitty it feels. I will tell you about yesterday we went to a party and met other family members abd all that and again my sister went along with my other cousins and I am awkward and nervous coz its always been this way. If I try ti say something everyone acts like it was stupid or just ignores. Then one of (my cousins husband came along saying to my sister "she us my fav sis in law" and introducing her to everyone around calling her his fav. I know its such petty and stupid things to even think about but I felt really bad I was right there. My mom always sides with her and talks oo me like shit a lot if times.

I remember once 2 or 3 years back I was sitting on my couch and I said my skin looks so dull and then my dad said out of nowhere stop being jealous and youll be fine { he meant it pointing towards my sister as if I was jealous of her and he said in a way more mean and rude tone. Idk how to express that feeling but I was so shocked as it was so random. Back then I had none of these problems. I didnt even care if anyone treated my sister better than or shit like that. I was fine in my sc and had fun wherever I would go and life was so much better. My parents were the only ones who would compare me to my sister and say look at her does she ever demand for stuff or does she refuse to do this and blah blah and at that I time I could have cared less coz I knew for a fact that I was not wrong in voicing my opinions and thats why they always compare me to her (if I ever felt bad about their behaviour and expressed it to my parents they would call me toxic, or my head is filled with negativity while all I was doing was letting them k ow how hurtful their words can be ). I remember that day when I heardmy dad say that about me it hurt me so bad idk how to explain but even today when I recall it feels like I am getting physically stabbed AND after that I got so concious of every little thing I started comparing myself to ger and with all the circumstances I went through these years my sc just got even worse.

Now when I try to work on my sc I feel like I cant be the best, or good enough , or the most beautiful or all those things I want because I dont deserve it yeah but my sister does. I am stuck at home so I have to face this everyday. Like all these things are reserved for her. All I wamt to have is the best sc I dont want my sister to experience any shitty stuff and I dont want to be the one to experience it either. I sometimes get so angry on her in my mind and I just get irritated and I hate being with her coz I dont want to feel less than and looked down upon and then I feel guilty for feeling this way.

You might dislike me for saying the things I did but I really dont know how to get rid of all this. I dont want to be ignored or sidelined or treated like some third or 4th option or always getting shit from my parents. I know I have to affirm and persist or states but how do I even maintain it seeing the 3d it all feels like such a lie to me.

I see so many people manifesting weightloss and df and db and so much more. Even people who say they were horrible at manifesting and stuff like that they did it so quickly and I struggle to even manifest biscuits.

First off, I want to say I am so sorry you have gone through these experiences! You deserve the world and nothing less, hell you deserve the whole universe/multiverse! You wanting to change your self concept is a huge step! I know you are in hard circumstances but you are still in control, you are still limitless! You can manifest anything you can ever think of!! You are NOT limited whatsoever! You're amazing, talented, beautiful, worthy, loving, extraordinary just because you exist! You are the first choice because this is your reality! Pick yourself up and know you are chosen because you said so!! Recognize your limitless power! You have the power to bend all of reality t your will, realize how amazing and powerful you truly are! YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOUR REALITY!! Isn't that amazing? Don't blame yourself for everything that has been told to you or that you have gone through, you are not your trauma! I advise you to not identify with the 3d! The 3d is merely a reflection of your imagination. You fulfill within your imagination and the 3d has no choice to reflect that. Your emotions don't manifest, feel them all you want! Cry your eyes out, as long as you are not identifying with the outside world but with your imagination, which is the true reality you can not fail! YOUR DESIRES ARE INEVITABLE!! Nothing, I repeat nothing has control over you! Not your family, not your friends, not your 3d, not a single thing has any power over you! Failure does not exist you will always win! You can change your self concept by starting to identify with what you desire and not the unwanted circumstances! Change your conception of self because the world is merely a reflection of thyself. Change your assumptions towards manifesting! Change your assumptions to you always get what you want, people treat you amazingly, you are always the first choice, you manifest anything instantly! You need to change your conception from having such assumptions and identify with your power and awareness! You can maintain a good self concept by persisting in the dominant assumptions that align with your self concept being at a peak! Remember you are in control, you got this!