#and one of those is sad and pathetic and should be deleted but

[my-grass-is-dead]

send me a link to your ayano x Megami fics on ao3 I need to read them.

There's a 4/33 chance you've hit a oneshot - apparently I looked at my drafts doc instead of my completed doc while I was wandering Tumblr at 3:something am.

[thecherrygod]

/

[youremyfriend-youremymission]

I just need to vent.

[lemotmo]

Their downward spiral has been fun 😊. But everything she said is fact.

Q. Your boy wonder blocked those of us who don't love his boy wonder. Class act you got there.

Q. We get it Oliver we say Tommy you say block. Still want us to pretend he's not a brat?

Q. I asked your leader about his onscreen boyfriend and he blocked me. Actually he told me I was getting blocked and then he blocked me. Very mature of him.

Q. What kind of petulant child actually takes the time to go through a comment section of 900 plus comments like that photo had and manually deletes certain comments and then blocks the person who sent the comment? And you want us to respect him????

Q. He's so pathetic 🙃. How are you not mortified by how embarrassing his behavior has been? Nevermind you are you will just pretend you're not.

Q. Oliver is basically giving his fandom the middle finger and yet he has the nerve to get butt hurt because we all like Lou more. What an immature brat.

A. So this is a very small sample of the asks I have received since Oliver went on his blocking spree. I wanted to include a sample because every single person who has sent me a complaint that he blocked you has intentionally not disclosed the question or comment you left that got you blocked. The only thing that's clear is they all involved Tommy in some way. And based on your pattern it's not hard to imagine that most of those comments probably included insults of some kind directed at anybody not Tommy/Lou. Oliver is not a brat. Oliver is tired. They are all tired. The sad thing is if you all had allowed the story to just unfold and taken it for what it was, Oliver would have been very kind to you. Because he's an absolute teddy bear of a man. He never gave you all false hope. He's been the one you should have been paying attention too because he has the one who's been honest with you. He never would have shipped it but he would have been respectful of you shipping it. And when Tommy's part was complete, that character, and you, probably would have even received a thank you post of some kind from Oliver because he loves Buck, and he would have been grateful for the role Tommy played in getting Buck ready for his next chapter. That's the kind of person Oliver is. The Oliver you all are seeing now you brought on yourselves. He is a petty king and once you push him over the line it's over. You all have made it your mission to make him, and his friends miserable because they refuse to encourage your delusion. You deserve being blocked by him and I hope he continues to do it. There's no need for him to subject himself to your abuse. He doesn't have to allow Tommy content if he doesn't want it there.

The real reason you all are so upset today is that you're rapidly running out of delusions to cling too. They have systematically eliminated or debunked every one of your talking points, and that's what actually angers you. Examples:

'OMG Oliver and Lou are total besties look how much they love being together' = Oliver completely ignores anything and everything Tommy/Lou related. Doesn't like any Tommy content, doesn't follow Lou on any social media. Zero BTS interactions. Publicly admits to blocking people who demand he fawn over it.

'Oliver and Ryan clearly hate one another and only tolerate each other because Buddie fans are insane' = Oliver and Ryan take, share, and post amazing b&w photos of one another. Loads of BTS content of the joking around and having a good time together on set. Follow each other on social media. Openly discuss and like Buddie content. Admit to reading Buddie fanfics and watching fan edits. Hang out at each other's houses and play around with Instagram filters.

'Lou's going to be bumped up to main: = release cast lost proving that didn't happen and he didn't even appear on the call sheet

' Buddie will never happen because Ryan said he won't play queer/gay' = Ryan does several interviews openly discussing the Buddie possiblity. Refers to Eddie as queer coded, starts using only gender neutral pronouns. Films a BTS video implying he hooked up with Peter Krause.

'Tim sent us a DM telling us spoilers' = Tim gives an interview flat out dismissing this.

This is the reality and it's making your delusions increasingly difficult to sell. Your own people are starting to wake up and as a result you turned your venom on your own people. And what's insane is if you had just been basic level decent you would have found plenty of fandom people who would have let you fan girl over Tommy. We have all been there. We have all fallen for a minor side character the show was never going to care about. I promise you people would have been kind to you about it. But you followed the lead of a crazy person and believed being horrible and nasty to people would get you what you wanted. You're in the position you are because of yourselves. No one else is responsible or to blame. And that's why no one feels sorry for you. Everyone is exhausted and that clearly includes the cast as well. What they're doing is hilarious and deserved.

Thank you Nonny! I do appreciate you dropping this in my inbox.

All right, Oliver is obviously as fed up with all this craziness as we are. I say 'good for him' that he is actively curating his online spaces. He is just doing what all of us do on social media: blocking the people we don't want to deal with, deleting the comments that contain topics of things we don't want to see, deleting comments with hatred in them, deleting comments where anons are shitting on our friends...

As for the rest of this excellent reply?

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[sloelimbs]

You know those Reddit stories where someone asks their partner for an open relationship. Wether it was coerced or the person was on board from the start. But then it backfired on the one who asked when the gf finds someone better on their end or is getting more action? You should make a long one shot for repertoire but make it hellcheer😂

Jason says this’ll be fun. He says all his friends do this, that it just spices things up, that their wives love it, that it makes their marriages stronger. Chrissy isn’t sure, but taking the wedding ring off feels like shedding a hundred pounds. Jason does the same, and they go into her bedside drawer in their separate boxes. At first, she doesn’t like the idea of it. She doesn’t like the thought of having to… find someone else, when he’s out at the club trying to get with other girls.

Normally on nights alone she bathes for hours, binge watches true crime on Netflix with pretzels and rosé wine, scrolls endlessly through Twitter, and occasionally drinks a little too much and starts setting herself up on Tinder. She never gets as far as uploading her photo. She deletes the app before she goes to bed in the guest room. It’s a good thing that she never looks at her bio sober.

It takes about six months for her to gather the courage to actually put her face out there, at three in the morning, two bottles down and crying on the bathroom floor because she hasn’t seen her husband in two days. She doesn’t even know where Jason is. He’s turned his phone off and… it’s lonely. It’s really fucking lonely. Chrissy keeps her eyes closed, as she always does, and swipes at random because it doesn’t fucking matter who’s on the other end of the connection, she just wants someone to see her.

Don’t really know what I’m looking for on here. In an ‘open relationship’. Married. Miserable.

She’s pathetic, but, well. She’ll take what she can get, because that’s what Jason’s doing, right?

Eddie M. has sent you a message!

[Maybe it’s not my place to say but if you’re not vibing with the open part maybe you should skip to the part where you divorce the ungrateful sucker.]

[Sorry if that was out of line, I just hate to see a beautiful girl so sad.]

Chrissy dries her eyes, and just sends him her number. She’s going to delete the app before bed, anyway. As nice as Eddie M. looks, he’s made of the same stuff as her husband. Maybe he’s less clean cut, maybe between the long dark hair and huge dark eyes and that wolffish smile she feels a flutter in her stomach and between her thighs that she hasn’t felt since her honeymoon, but still.

<<I’m gonna go ahead and assume that was an invitation to text you. It’s Eddie! You doing okay?>> But it’s not enough. It doesn’t make the pit of loneliness and longing close up, so she highlights the number and hits call instead.

It becomes a routine. Jason disappears after supper without kissing her and she takes her phone upstairs to the hot tub to strip and call Eddie. He lives in Chicago, hundreds of miles away, full time job leading his band to greatness but he still finds time to text her throughout the day. She doesn’t go a morning without a greeting, she doesn’t go to sleep without him murmuring softly over the distance. Chrissy doesn’t just delete the app, she deletes the profile altogether and can’t stop smiling when Eddie sends her a screen recording of him doing the same.

<<It’s you and me, Princess, if that’s what you want. How’s Jason Cucker going?>>

<<Dead to me tbh.>>

It’s another two months before Eddie calls her from the airport. He’s waiting for her, and all she has to do now is leave the note and the divorce papers where they’ll be found. It doesn’t sting as much as she thought it would. She supposes any hurt would be soothed by the knowledge that you’re going to the arms of someone so beyond beloved that they’ve changed your life without ever even touching you. She doesn’t look back when she’s in the cab, and she doesn’t consider her options while she rolls her case through security, and she’s not nervous when she spots him where he promised he’d be. Standing outside Starbucks with an enormous bouquet of flowers (they won’t be allowed on the plane, she doesn’t think, but the thought itself? She melts) and an even bigger smile, holding up her order without asking her if that’s what she wanted.

It just feels like going home when she goes to him and presses her face into his chest.

[flaylore]

CHURCH OF RUNE

"I guess I should formally introduce you. I haven't even introduced myself. "I"… or… hm, you may call me Machina. Father Machina. And I welcome you to the rune monastery, a place offering shelter for those in need, all those who suffer from the supposed corruption, all those who disagree with the guild. Here, if you put your hopes in me, your faith, your love, your dreams, your everything, I promise you will be saved."

Church of Rune features a priest-like figure welcoming you to his church, the Rune Monastery, and invites you to join his mission on spreading corruption. It was uploaded on December 1st 2023, and had a small teaser dropped on November 23rd 2023.

A mysterious waiting room also appeared right after the teaser. However, it was eventually deleted. (1 , 2)

Summary:

The screen glitches a bit, with a figure standing over us

The figure says: “You have multiple “you’s in you”, saying it’ll be difficult to determine our true thoughts

After a few minutes, we finally get ourselves to stand and figure out where we are

The area looks deserted in snow, the sound of bells can be heard (?) ringing in the background

The figure can read our minds

“Looks cold”? Of course, it is that time of year.”

Says that there’s better lighting in the church than outside

Seems confused that we don’t recognize the current area, then states that this is Elysium—or what’s left of it

Further elaborates on how there’s multiple versions of “us” inside of us

“There are… multiple "you"s inside of you. At the same time, you hold a consciousness of your own, or so I think. Do you know why that is? "We're all one," now that's the correct response.”

The corruption inside of us has spread, according to the figure

"It’s nothing to be worried, though 3 years ago this wouldn’t have been tolerated." “It makes up a part of you, as flaws try so desperately to hide.”

Asks us further if we don’t remember what happened 3 years ago. Mentions when activity spiked in the south, and when “The Great Debate” occurred

Explains that The Great Debate consisted of when the world did not know what to do with corruption

TEMPUS seeks to understand and pacify the “beasts”, while the mercenary group kills them off

Says the corruption isn’t bad

💬: “Would ARMIS kill us”? "Now that's a name I haven't heard in quite a while…”

Mentions how some people refuse to “take in the current reality”, and brings up how they jest as a coping mechanism

Assures us that he too is also pathetic in nature and accepts us

“Believe me, under my care, you will have no need for such things. Your worries, your fears, your anxieties… you may leave it all here, in my care. I will love you thoroughly.”

Our current form is “small”, but “quite familiar” to the figure

“You’re just a bit different.”

Takes us inside the church, holy music now playing subtly in the background

Calls himself “Father Machina”

He has no other name according to himself

The church is meant to be a “rune monastery”, offering as a shelter for those corrupted and in need, as well as a sanctuary for those who disagree with the guild’s methods

He then holds up a small figure, similar to a machiroon, to us. He asks us what this is

It looks to be physical, almost like goo

Its eyes are swirling, along with having two cat ears and a tail

The figure is referred to as a “machirune”, the end prefix spelt R-U-N-E instead of R-O-O-N

“These “runes”, these are souls, human souls, or rather, corruption in its purest form.”

There’s no malice in them, though there’s anxiety inside of them

“Corruption Beasts” are:

Referred as “The Afflicted” in this world

According to him, it is also considered an "old and jaded" term

Corruption is linked to emotions

“No one supposedly knows what happens after. But, when those emotions hit that stride, anything that is corrupted will start to spread. Consider it any extreme human emotion. Isn't that sad? Whether it be happiness to the point of being manic, sadness to the point of despair, even lust. But humans are already aware of that, aren't they?”

Someone asks if Father Machina is also afflicted, to which he laughs before the screen zooms into his mouth. His eyes dim, showing irritation

“Excuse me? Are you in good health? Oh, my apologies. I just couldn't tell with all that stupidity living in your brain. Do me and the world a favor, and shut up. Thank you.”

His god is Miyabi—the “man of flowers”

“We fight for him. Clearly, he knows what is best for this world and even though he is not here to decide his fate, I shall meet(?) it for him.”

His sermons are meant to introduce those who’re new to the church

He also accepts donations, though vague on what kinds he means

Once the sermon ends, he and his followers exit the church to “make the world a better place”

When asked about the hollow tree, Father Machina says it’s already been corrupted recently in the last year (whether in this world or in Elysium is unclear)

Shinri has helped out Father Machina during these expeditions

“The world in danger?” No! [laughs] My beloved lost lambs, I'm saving the world! I’m saving you. I have nothing but countless amounts of love for all of you.”

The X-TRUS is known as an “ancient Xenokunian weapon”, and it’s the object of “our will and love”

“I’d rather not refer to its name given when it was part of the guild.”

Father Machina is 21,000 years old

He aims to create a new world/new beginning where the corrupted reign over everyone else

"Are there still corruption beasts?" laughing You still don't get it? Don’t make me spell it out. The one rule of the rune monastery is to spread the “afflicted” everywhere.”

Doesn’t seem to know who X is, but knows who Flayon is

“I told you, stop mentioning his name. Is that understood?”

Soon after, a progress bar appears on the screen, filling up to 50%

The sermon begins, Father Machina preaching atop the altar

Father Machina calls himself “God’s messenger”, and those who do not love him will be sacrificed for “the greater good”

“I will not have a repeat of any of you abandoning me. Those of you that wish to play with a shiny new toy again can repeat the same mistake that you made three years ago.” “But, don’t think that didn’t hurt me. Or, “him” per se.”

Says he loves the Machiroons all the same, but wonders if they take his love seriously

“All who stand against the church will die. I will kill you myself personally. Those who wish to “study” the beasts, as they call it, will be put to death. Those who kill the afflicted on the spot will be put to death.”

The whole church is centered around Father Machina, rewording “Amen” to “Flaymen”

“Yes, praise me, revere me! Love me, do so and I will bring you to salvation. Look at no other idols, no other men. I am the only one you should know. In return I shall give you love everlasting.”

In this world, TEMPUS seeks to study and eventually kill the corrupted on sight. ARMIS on the other hand kills them without any hesitation

“I'm sure I would’ve agreed with them years ago but now I know the true nature. Why would you harm the afflicted?”

Goldbullet claims that Father Machina was threatening and killing people

“He’s still around, but do not worry. We will find him and the rest of this TEMPUS.”

Claims that TEMPUS thought they could come to a solution in understanding the corrupted beasts, to study them

“I’m sure you’re all aware, even those of you afflicted with some sort of memory loss. They’re seen as heroes? Righteous? I think we have all unfortunately bore witness to their violent tendencies, their extremes.”

Axel was almost killed by the church, running away after attempting to kill Father Machina himself

“He still evades us like the rest, but he is the most dangerous and on top of our list, he did not hesitate. The first one to go against us, and for that he is probably the most foolish of all. But dare he come back to this church.. I shall make sure that all of his beloved followers will be cooked alive, like the food they are.”

Suddenly, he brings an announcement. After some persuasion, Shinri is joining support for the church

“Now he… he is a man fit to lead the world. He is a man.. That if anything were to happen to me, I would have him take our place. However, should he stay his corrupted hand at slaying the enemy, I shall make sure it spreads to the rest of his body. until there is nothing left.”

Claims that Bettel—the Jester—is the largest enemy to the church

“We will bide our time then strike when he least expects it. Those of you, of the roons, that have managed to fuse with his so-called “Bettelion”, we will strike tomorrow at dawn. And then, if a god is on his side, surely it is not ours. Therefore, his luck will eventually run out.”

Originally thought of Hakka as “his brother”, but after numerous attempts of killing Father Machina, he is not forgiven

“I thought he’d understand the most. After all, this is what is best for the world, am I not wrong? But, whatever righteous morals he has he will be dealt with. Or rather, he is already dealing with himself.”

Claims that the corruption on Hakka makes him rampage like a “mindless demon”

Altare is mentioned to try and “pity him”, which makes Father Machina envious of him

“Did he think I wanted his pity? I don’t, I don’t need it. He.. pains me most of all. A kindhearted man with a voice that soothes the souls of thousands. A roundabout hero with a moral compass that doesn’t hesitate to make the.. worst of calls. Isn’t that nice? However, despite all these compliments, all these praises sent to him instead of me. Don’t you think it’s strange?”

Claims that Altare has formed his own cult, in which kidnapping some of his followers and torturing them

Hates the church being compared to a “cult”, claiming that he does this out of love

“Hahahah. Now, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me and me alone. Love me, and only me. No other idols, no replacing me for whatever reason you deem fit. The minute you give your love to me, you must take responsibility. Is that understood? Hm..? You think I’m “broken”?”

The music stops suddenly, zooming in on Father Machina’s face.

“You’re a fool. You know, I told all of you to keep your mind in check. Even, it would’ve been fine, fine if you all disobeyed me. But, we have no room for such foolish ideals and so.. Haven’t you noticed? Hahahaha ..hahah! You didn’t notice yet, did you?”

[The bar fills to 100%.]

“Have a safe trip. I love you.”

Suddenly, the screen cuts to black and begins to glitch

Warns us about the “raging thoughts/voices” inside of us, and that the corruption is continuing to spread

“Remember what I said earlier? You have multiple “you”s. Multiple even inside each individual one. This creates discord and chaos within your soul, your emotions as one person are running rampant.”

Is aware that we’re from another world

“Wait.. Stop mentioning that name. You even made my beloved rune stop moving. [He sighs.] Hm? It seems you’re running out of time. You know what to do, right? Hnk. Damn you, you riled up memories I didn’t need.”

Glitching continues as multiple images now appearing on the screen, Father Machina’s eyes swirling

“We love you!” “I love you guys too…” “Am I not enough?” “I can’t have you leave” “I want to be enough for you” “Love me, Love me” “I don’t want to be alone..” “Don’t leave me”

Before the stream ends, he reminds us of the corruption. It begins in a notion, and he assumes there’s a catalyst

“Whatever emotion that he has, whenever he gets corrupted, I’ll see you again.”

His last words:

“Goodbye, roons. I hope when we meet again that you will follow my endeavor. I love you guys.. Don’t leave me.”

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies with fandom stuff, then a couple of twst replies.

irregardlessly-tish asked:

A friend message me "YOU FOLLOW THE LEVI X GRISHA PERSON" and I had no clue what they were talking about but then they showed me the two pictures you drew of Levi and Grisha lol. It made me laugh a lot. Then I helped them found the uncensor version of one of the drawings in your pixiv since the link to twitter seem to be broken (I'm a great friend I know/j). I guess you could say they are big fans of your rarepair work!

LEVI X GRISHA PERSON AAAHH 😭 It’s always so funny to learn how people are referring to us; I was the Zevi artist, the Shroudcest artist… For some reason, being a Guriri (wow Grisha’s and Levi’s shipname is cute, I completely forgot about it) artist feels like such a high honour lol Especially because I had no idea there was someone out there invested in this ship. Your friend’s taste is excellent. A huge thank you to them for enjoying our stuff, and a huge thank you to you for helping to find the uncensored version. You really are a great friend hehe.

It’s honestly a shame that even the pixiv version is still censored (albeit not cropped like the tumblr version), because you can’t really post uncensored stuff there… So now only a few people who had saved our snk smut back when it was posted on our now-deleted twitter have it :(

(it’s a bit embarrassing looking back at those sketches and seeing all the mistakes though, yikes)

Anonymous asked:

I want to shake antis by the shoulders and scream at them all the time cause I see them being sooo unhealthy with themselves, and I've BEEN there I know what they are doing and I know it is just going to get them hurt with the same train wreck I got myself in!!

It's the whole problem with black and white thinking where you go "people treat incest shippers like satan himself, so I cannot accidentally enjoy it or I would be evil incarnate too, and adopted/step is the same thing, so I cannot accidentally like that, and found family is basically the same as adopted, so I have to avoid that, and character A called character B his bro one time, so..." that thinking pattern does not have a stopping point!!!!!! It is so unhealthy!!!!!!!!

And then people realize they can't stop themselves from enjoying unhealthy ships, and instead of separating fiction from reality, they just excuse everything abusive about the ship like it is fine and normal behavior because they cannot accept themselves enjoying something that is remotely problematic. It is so much more likely to get people hurt than just enjoying the porn of some fake brothers fucking 😭

Anon! First of all, sorry for replying late; we received your ask about a week ago but I didn’t have enough time to properly address it. Second of all, thank you for talking about it and sharing your experience.

It’s just like you said; people really don’t want to get ridiculed or hated, especially younger people, therefore, they are afraid of liking stuff that is even slightly problematic. And for some of them, if they don’t want their so-called friends to suspect them loving problematic stuff, they’ll act even more aggressive than they should to overcompensate. I feel like when it comes to antis who talk about us specifically, the most vocal and persistent ones are those whose friends called them out for following my accounts or liking my drawings. And this is honestly both sad and pathetic at the same time; I cannot imagine how bad of a headspace this might be. I don’t pity them though lol

We always talk about it, but still: this is a game you can’t win because the rules are always changing. The only thing that never changes is that there is no nuance, once the crowd decide that the ship is bad, it’s bad. Starting out with the basics, age gaps and incest are bad, right? Right. But what if the characters aren’t canonically related but could be interpreted as brothers? Then it’s still bad, right? But what if they aren’t at all brotherly, but one of them expressed that they want to do bad things to the other? Sounds bad, right? And thus, the only type of dynamic that exists is a romanticised version of a perfect gay couple: they are equal in every way, they love each other, they are SUCH DORKS together who fit perfectly to any “redraw this as your ship” meme that’s the hottest thing these days, they don’t have arguments, they don’t have misunderstanding and rough moments. Their personalities, everything that made their relationship unique or interesting completely disappears and smoothes out, and after that it’s not even a ship, it’s just a nice blend that is perfect for consumption because it doesn’t irritate your teeth, your throat, or your stomach. It’s tasteless, it’s boring, it’s nothing, and it’s not about the characters, it’s about deciding which two characters are unproblematic enough to be transformed into blorbos, and if they have some problematic elements in-canon, it’s okay, we’ll just erase those because being unproblematic doesn’t really matter. What matters is to act in a way that doesn’t go against what the rest of them are doing, because otherwise you’re making people uncomfortable, and if they are uncomfortable with you, they feel morally correct for attacking you.

It’s never about characters. It’s always about control, about cliques, about bullying and making everyone afraid to have an actual opinion. It’s about instilling in people’s mind that attacking strangers on the internet makes you a cool person because you are simultaneously a rebel for being so ballsy and brave, and a saint for having moral standards so high that you can’t stomach bad things even if they are fictional.

Sometimes people just have different ships and that’s okay. Sometimes people don’t have any ships and don’t understand the shipping culture, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is to feel entitled to this control over the way others consume media and interact with it.

Because it makes the fandom experience boring at best and unbearable at worst.

Sorry, I digress lol What I wanted to say is that you are right, it messes with people’s brains. And it is much more unhealthy than fantasising about the things that are 100% fictional (which is, by the way, a huge part of their appeal).

Anonymous asked:

just wanted to say I love your content a lot, it's a breath of fresh air from all the anti content present in the fandom

You are very welcome, Anon! And thank you so much for your support <3 It means a lot to hear that our stuff is refreshing to you.

Anonymous asked:

Is Lilia sneezing on people on purpose, or is it a sneeze button for him?

(this is related to this post)

We’ll never know, Anon, it’s one of Lilia’s many mysteries…

Maybe it started out as a joke, but then he really began to sneeze on people every time his nose gets booped lol

Anonymous asked:

Where can I see the art for the new Shaftlands event?

I don’t think all of them are fully out yet, but people are pretty active on twitter, so simply looking up characters’ names is probably going to work!

Anonymous asked:

…Quick, someone bully Idia into sending nudes.

And be quick about it because Idia could also quickly change his mind and hack the recipient’s phone to delete the pictures!!

[whorelyyy]

Ass for cash? Hard Pass.

"N-no, no, no, no, no. No way," she muttered, picking up her phone again and double-checking what she had just read. It couldn’t be right.

But it was. She had posted her drunken trauma dump on Oasis' community Simslist. She felt pathetic as she reread her words. God, it reads like a cry for help, Raz thought. Her stomach flipped as she kept going over her message. It was like her brain was punishing her for how stupid she had been, refusing to let her stop revisiting this public broadcast of her instability. She sounded desperate—hungry for company, for connection, for money, for security. The worst part? It was all true. Raz ached for those things, craved them. She had missed out on so much life while she was with him. She wanted more. She needed more.

But just because it was true didn’t make it any easier to digest—especially when her deepest, darkest thoughts had been shared publicly for everyone in her new town to read.

As she was processing it all, her phone kept buzzing with notifications. Dozens of replies continued to flood. The starkness of their responses felt like a slap in the face.

"I’ll pray for you. Feel free to join us at Mount Sinai Church this Sunday. God helps those who cannot help themselves."

Okay, fuck them, Raz thought. She could absolutely help herself.

"Oh, this is, like, really sad. Did you mean to post this? Penny, is this you?"

At least there are other pathetic people in this town, Raz thought. Simslist was semi-anonymous, so unless someone knew your username, they wouldn’t know who posted it. Unless they were some kind of tech whiz. But she couldn’t fully indulge her anxiety because the next message was so outrageous she couldn’t believe her eyes.

"You're not the only one in this town craving connection. I know what it’s like to feel isolated, drifting through life, going through the motions, tethered to nothing. No one should feel that way, or endure such pain alone. Everyone needs support. I’d love to be that person for you. To help you. I could use a companion—a kindred spirit. Let me take some of life’s stress off your plate. Money is no object. If you're interested, please call me. I think the universe wanted us to meet. xo"

Did she just get an offer to be someone’s sugar baby? Just when she thought things couldn’t get more insane. She half-entertained the idea. Company—hopefully just company—could be nice. A friend who literally paid you to hang out? That’s not the worst thing, right? It would be nice not to worry about finances. She had taken out a ridiculous loan to afford this move, to buy her house. Raz thought of her monthly payments, her crappy salary. It barely covered groceries and her mortgage, but she managed.

She quickly pulled herself out of the delusion. Of course, she couldn’t be some random stranger’s sugar baby. She had just escaped a controlling relationship—why on earth would she jump into another situation with messed-up power dynamics? Hard pass.

She took a final moment to glance over her post before deleting it, closing the app, and silencing her phone. At least no one will know it was me. I mean, how many people really saw it?

PREVIOUS│NEXT [WIP]

[radhikaromanticizedagain]

I have so much rage and sadness within me. I'm always conflicted about what to do with them.

I want to tell my friends about the thought that has been dragging me into the ground but I end up deleting what I type before I even think of sending.

Because I feel my sorrows are repetitive and pathetic. As if I should be smarter than that. I should know better than to remain stuck in the past. That my sadness is only in my mind which was built on my own delusional thoughts. I curse my need for love. It is the reason I feel so much anger, because I lack it and it makes me mad that why not me.

I want to run back to people who have the ability to love me just a little bit. At least they could. My sorrows amplify that the love I deserve has a threshold, which will always remain empty.

I wish I could reach out to my friends, without shame and doubt. I wish I could speak the words without attacking my self worth.

My sadness grew since I was a child. I was the easy child, who didn't need alot of attention. I always thought the ones who got attention, were the ones who were loved more. I was only loved by my sister, she never thought I was hard to love. And everyone loved her, because how could you not.

I resent my thoughts which are filled with envy. I envy anyone who is touched by love. Those in it or those who are loved yet they don't reciprocrate. I envy everyone around me who is easy to love. I envy their ability to be found by others. Their ability to be seen and . Get the attention they deserve.

[ruminate88]

You Love Me… Real Or Not Real?

Whenever I dated Andrew, he had told me how great the movie “the hunger games” was, and that I should watch it, but at that time, I really didn’t have any interest in watching it. As I became obsessed with Andrew though, I started to push myself to try and like things that he did! not being faithful to myself or respecting myself, but trying to mold myself into someone that he would like……

The summer after Andrew and I broke up I was not only so confused, but I was so miserable and heartbroken. I did not know I was in trauma bond, and that is why it was seriously hard to get away from him. I kept reaching out to him, but he only kept messing with my head, gaslighting me, and hurting me. Also, I had watched the hunger games because of him and so therefore the “fourth hunger games” came out to theaters and I went to see it!! 🥺 I actually liked it and cried when it was over because of the very line Katniss says to Peeta, “You love me… Real or not real?” I was so confused with Andrew. I just didn’t know what to believe. I felt like a pathetic loser sitting in that theater crying my heart and my eyes out, so upset and hurt over this little boy, seven years younger than me, with mommy issues, and only lies and cheats…… I had taken months of abuse from him, and realized I had to get away from him at all cost but I did not block his number because I simply didn’t think I had to. Also, I think a small part of me really did not want to be away from him, but I knew I had to. (I believe I wanted him to come back and use me more cuz I was addicted to him)

I was still very suicidal, and I had two more suicide attacks after walking away from Andrew. It was a very horrible and dark time for me!

Also, Jake, the very first narcissist I ever came in contact with showed back up because that’s what some narcissist do they continually show up after you have had a break up and they’re always trying to get back into your life. So I’m talking to Jake as a “friend” but really, we are not friends at all, I don’t trust Jake at all. I’m only using him to try to talk to because I’m so sad and hurt over Andrew. However, Jake says he does not want to hear about Andrew, my younger ex-boyfriend, and he does not feel sorry for me, but begins to tell me that I’ve got issues because I am so suicidal and depressed. He says that I need lots of prayer and help!! I actually believe Jake and I agree that I do need lots of prayer and help which I did, but I wasn’t sure if Jake was for me or against me! At some point, I explain to Jake that I am sooo isolated, and that I am shutting down and pushing people away all the time, because that is the person I have become not even realizing that Jake, Cody and Andrew are all responsible for this that prior to those men, I was not that cold of a person , I had so much love to give, and I feel as though those three men took all of that love I had, and destroyed it (not really because I have learned to love after them, but it’s not been easy. Trust me.)

I’m working overtime to better myself. I do get help in prayer. I am trying to change my way of thinking and also I started raising my standards. I told myself from now on I will always dare a man who will talk marriage with me right away. I am working overtime to better myself. I do get help in prayer. I am trying to change my way of thinking and also I started raising my standards. I told myself from now on unless a man will talk marriage with me right away, I am not interested in even being his friend let alone get to know him.

I made the decision to download the dating app “OK Cupid”. Upon doing this, I met a lot of men that the majority of them are not only ready for marriage, but they’re not someone that I have feelings for. I was very frustrated and disappointed, and was ready to delete the app! As I’m deleting the app, I made one last match and it was with my future husband! He sent me a text message and from there I could breathe! I even told my husband that for some reason I don’t know why, but as I’m talking to him, I feel I can breathe, and I have not felt this way with anyone else before that he was the first man I talk to that did not feel toxic!!! It felt very normal and nice and peaceful. I quickly realized that my husband has no drama and therefore, he’s a guy that I should get to know because I’m tired of drama. I’m tired of toxic men and I’m tired of disrespecting myself! With my husband, I felt I had more pride and dignity, and I felt like a better person just being with him!! I felt like a better version of myself too!

There wasn’t that much excitement though… I was very bothered by why was this new guy I’m talking to so nice to me, even made me feel like a better version of myself and YET I was not excited about it like I wanted to be. I was so excited whenever I met Andrew and I didn’t know why because Andrew only treated me like crap but here is this new guy that is treating me so good and yet I’m questioning do I even like him?.

What I did not know, is that with dating narcissist, especially during the Love bombing phase, there is this rush of intensity, almost like taking a drug. When dating a normal person, it is not like that at all!! It is very normal and calm. There’s no rush of intensity or major excitement. NOW it all makes sense!! I did not know it at the time though, and I continued to push myself to get to know my future husband and pursued him and focused on him solely, denying other men who would ask for pictures of me. I only sent pictures to my husband!! I wasn’t even dating him yet but I already felt like if I sent pictures to another guy, that I would be cheating on my husband and I didn’t want to cheat on this new guy that was so great!

He talked marriage with me, it all felt very real and safe and warm and just very very peaceful! That was the thing I focused on the most was peace! “A narcissist will find you in peace and leave you in pieces, but a real man will find you in pieces and bring you to peace!!”( Always remember that!!!!) As I continue to talk to my new man, we started a relationship. It was nice and warm, but it was weird for me because it wasn’t with Andrew and I just didn’t understand why I was so attached to Andrew. I never knew all that time he was a narcissist, and that I was in trauma bond with him! 😩 I was just trying to get over him and get a life of my own because I was so miserablene, unhappy and sad all the time, and when I would talk to my new guy who was so nice to me, I felt so peaceful and safe and I just wanted to hide. I just wanted to hide from all the pain and get away from all the stress that was Andrew. My new man had no stress, would talk to me for hours and it was so nice! we could just about talk about anything and laugh and I felt like I was trying more to be myself. (With Andrew, I never could truly be my comfortable self) At some point, I actually felt that it was all working out that I was finally getting over Andrew and moving on with this new great guy. I was in such a nice place for a change! I started to have some confidence in myself, and I started to just feel like all the drama with Andrew was behind me! 😌

I did not block Andrews number, not thinking anything of it. He had access to me still… While I’m finally healing myself with this new man in my life, that I think could possibly become my future, Andrew tries to contact me twice in the same day!!!!!!!!!!!!! He tried to FaceTime me twice one at about 3 PM and the other one at about 9 PM. It never truly rang though, it only rang once or twice and then he hung up so he never gave me the opportunity to answer his FaceTime call it just said that I had a missed FaceTime call from him which made no sense …… I had no idea what he wanted, my heart was racing, I was nervous and excited. I wanted him to want me so bad!!! I wanted him to miss me and love me, but he could never miss me or love me the way that I would want him to. He would only miss manipulating me and gaslighting me! Everything he was doing was to mess with my head and he was probably jealous that I had a new man. I had to tell my new man that Andrew tried to reach out to me. 😨 I couldn’t hide it because I was in a new relationship, and I wanted it to be honest and I was worried what was going to happen. so when I confessed to my new man and told him, I didn’t know what to do, that I was very upset. My new man said HE would FaceTime Andrew for me, and that he would find out what’s going on! WOW!! So the next day, I give Andrews number to my new man and my new man, FaceTimes Andrew for me! When my new man calls him, Andrew is very confused and wants to know who in the world he is and my new man says he is my boyfriend that Andrew needs to leave me alone OR ELSE!!! My new man said Andrew’s response was of shocked and scared, and looked like he was going to even cry… Wow…… Was Andrew really going to cry? Why was Andrew going to cry? 😳😳😳😳

Andrew clearly didn’t love or care about me, his actions proved that over and over but why would he cry when he finds out I have a new man or was he just afraid that my new man maybe he would hurt him?!? I just didn’t understand and don’t know what the truth is but it was very weird and bizarre.

I was very very upset and crying so my new man tells me “unless I block Andrews number, Andrew will continue to hurt me like that and that I need to do the right thing and block his number. “ I did it! It was not easy for me to do. I was very torn, but I had to do it because I didn’t want to ruin things with my new man whom which I knew would treat me 1000 times better than Andrew ever could and I would be stupid to go back to Andrew and continue to take more abuse. I also had people looking at Andrews social media for me and found out that yes he did have a new girlfriend a.k.a. new supply. I was extremely jealous of her, not even realizing that he was a narcissist and that way he treated me, most likely he was going to treat her the same or maybe even worse. 😔

I got Andrew out of my life, but I was really hurt after he tried to FaceTime me it was as if he opened up the wounds that I was healing and it felt like he punched them really hard and I was just so sad over him and cried over him!!! I thought for sure my new man was going to hate me for crying over Andrew, but my new man did not hate me. In fact, he let me cry and told me everything was going to be OK!! I could not believe it! I knew my new man was probably the one to marry. He was probably the nicest guy I would ever meet and obviously the most peaceful guy I would ever meet I just felt so calm and safe with him and that’s all I wanted at that point I didn’t care about anything else. I was just so tired of dating men that are toxic with all this drama and confusion and I just wanted a safe peaceful life even though I wanted this crazy, romantic love too, I started to realize that it probably doesn’t exist and I’ll probably never ever find it and so I started putting all my energy and focus on my new man, trying to figure out where we go next��.

Jake was also STILL appearing in my life. I could not seem to get rid of him (unless I blocked his number) I was trying so hard not to hurt his feelings. I wanted to be his friend but I didn’t think I could even trust him. I was trying to focus all my energy on my new man who seemed like a better fit for me, but there was always this mystery with “who is Jake” and “what are his intentions?” Jake claims there’s going to be the “convention” in my city, and he finally wants to meet after all these years… I was very bothered by that, because Jake would never ever EVER faceTime me!!! How could I meet a person that would never FaceTime me and I felt like he lied and hid stuff for me? I was hurt over Andrew, I didn’t know how to move on from Andrew. I didn’t know why it was so difficult. Why was I so sad and hurt from Andrew what was it about him? I knew Andrew had a new girlfriend. I was trying to move on from him, but he was always in the back of my mind making me wanna cry all the time… 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I told Jake that I was bothered that he would never FaceTime me why in the world would I want to meet him in person and I finally blocked Jake’s number ONCE AND FOR ALL! (I now has both him and Andrew out of my life) I knew that I was moving forward with my new man, and that I was making the right choice for me, that I would be safer and happier, and be at peace with myself and my life, and I found out that it was more important than “mystery or attraction” or “this crazy grand, romantic love” that just does not seem to exist. I searched for it, and searched for it, and never found it!! With a narcissist, they love bombed you at the beginning of the relationship, to make you believe you could have this “grand, romantic love”, but it’s ALL FAKE. It’s all the trick just to use you!!!! 😫

I got to meet my new man in person after almost 6 months of talking to him and what do you know, it was just like meeting a really good friend that I had known for years!! A really good friend that you could sit and have coffee with and just talk about life with!!! It just felt so comfortable with him. I never felt that with any other person ever and it was such a wonderful feeling. I knew I was going to marry him. We got engaged within three months of dating in person but we talked about marriage every day. It was very sweet and I felt good but I also questioned, “Why was I not so excited AND why was I not obsessed with this new man?” Why was I obsessed with Andrew STILL?????? That really just did not make sense to me back then and made me feel really really shameful and I never felt good enough for my new man because I always felt like I was thinking about Andrew and I hated it!!!!!!!!! 😫

Despite all of my worries, fears, doubts and even a ton of distrust, Of course, I wondered, “could my new man be like Andrew?” Could he be good to me at the start but then end up being terrible to me at the end!?? I took the risk because I was so lonely, and I wanted love soooooo badly, and I just felt differently. I felt like maybe my new man was going to be different and I was right . I married my new man we had a beautiful wedding, beautiful honeymoon, and married life has just felt as if I lived at home!! It hasn’t really felt like anything in my life has even changed. It’s like living with one of my parents. My husband has the same peace and drama free lifestyle that my parents have and I just feel like I could be myself but I never EVER could stop thinking about Andrew and I have worked so hard to understand why to understand who Andrew was….

Whenever I found out what a narcissist is, it started to make SO MUCH sense to me who Andrew was and why he did and said the things he did!!! It’s also allowed me to understand why I could never stop thinking about Andrew because there is something called “cognitive dissonance” where your brain is stuck between two opinions because the narcissist is so romantic at the start and then they’re so terrible at the end of the relationship and your brain just doesn’t know which version to believe but obviously the terrible version is the real version of Andrew! I don’t like calling him a monster that makes me feel bad to do that but he definitely scared me. 🙁 He definitely hurt me. He definitely cut me deep and put knives in my back consistently and I never knew what mood he was in when we were together, never knew if he was chill or if he was stressed out and was he going to be upset with me? I never knew why he was sooo upset with me or how I could make it better…. 🥺 nothing I did, or said, made it better, and that’s not a loving relationship!! that’s very dysfunctional!!!!

I was beating myself up for so long because I couldn’t get Andrew out of my head and I felt like a really bad wife and I felt like my new man doesn’t deserve that and why can’t I control these thoughts? But now that I know all about narcissism, I have understood why I’m so attached to Andrew and why I couldn’t stop thinking about him! So I started to give myself more grace, realizing that I can’t change the past and I can’t just unattached myself from Andrew. It Has to come overtime and it WILL!!! Eventually I’ll stop telling my story but for right now, I neeeeeed to tell my story because I’m just trying to understand and make sense of it all and I care about Andrew but I also realize I don’t know who he really is and I can’t trust who I saw because that was a false face during the love bomb phase!! It’s clearly not him and although that really hurts me and breaks my heart, I have to grieve it and I have to continue on with my life because I deserve so much more than that and I DO feel sorry for Andrew. I really do and I pray for him and I want the best for him even though I’m very hurt by him and I miss the person I saw during the lovebomb phase, but I am working to accept that that’s not actually him ……

[theabominable]

@crrtite - sorry i posted it mid writing then deleted it oopsies

==》 OBLIVIOUSLY || PART 2 || DILUC ANGST || KAEYA X READER

part 1  part 3

dearest diluc,

i am afraid i cannot make it tonight. urgent business calls at the knights of favonius headquarters, which i must attend to. thinking of you. i love you.

yours,

jean.

┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹

diluc sighs as he closes the letter, as he does every night when jean declines yet another invitation.

he had planned a nice candlelit dinner on the balcony of dawn winery, he even prepared her favourite meal and wine.

he pulls the cork out of the wine bottle and starts gulping it down, not even bothering to pour it into the new wineglass he had been waiting to use.

it tastes bitter. wine has always has the same disgusting taste to him, but tonight, the taste seems more sour and pathetic, just like how he is feeling.

he runs his finger round the rim of the bottle, not sure what to do next. should he go back to the tavern? take over charles' shift? you'd probably be there too, sitting at the far back at the tavern on kaeya's lap, giggling away as you sip on red wine, the crimson liquid staining your lips.

he thinks about you kissing kaeya, leaving a hint of red on his own lips.

jealousy sparks inside of him. he hates it when you get intimate with kaeya, especially infront of him. it's like your flaunting it in his face, how you get all the attention from your partner, while he's stuck with an ever so busy partner who is probably hooking up with the librarian on fridays.

he thinks about your childhood together, those days spent under large trees, diluc's head in your lap as you mess around or comfort eachother when you're sad. kaeya would occasionally tag along, but it was obvious all your attention was on him, you ignored kaeya's advances and focused on making him happy. he misses those days. when everything was focused on him. you never showed any intrest in kaeya before, so what’s with you being all over him now?

now, kaeya's the one who looks back at diluc while holding your hand, flashing a sly grin that says,

"you know you wish you were me."

diluc's jealousy turns into anger.

he's using you. why can't you see? he's only with you to get back at diluc, he'll toss you away, like he does with all his partners once they've gotten boring.

he'll save you. diluc imagines you running into his arms once he tells you about the truth - kaeya's true intentions and his devastating little secret - you'll cry to him, apologising for being such a fool and thanking him for saving you.

he'll welcome you back to him, he'll take care of you this time. just you and diluc.

┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹

diluc cautiously opens the door, careful not to make a sound.

he knows you and kaeya are up there on the balcony, probably pressed up against the wall making out. 

he peeks through the door.

“you know what i’ve done in the past. i can’t stay here any longer. i can’t bring myself to choose. more people are going to get hurt - diluc, albedo, rosaria.. and so will you, eventually. which is why i’m going to ask you-”

you and kaeya are leaning on the rails, kaeya looking into the distance while you stare and listen, a sorrowful look on your face.

“-to please, run away with me. i’ll change my name, we can get married even. you’re the only one who truly stays and listens, which is why i want to have longer with you.”

there are actual tears forming in kaeya’s eyes. he’s taken all the masks off he’s ever worn in his life, and now, the real kaeya is standing right in front of him.

this is the perfect moment. when he’s vulnerable. when he’s showing his true colours. 

get him diluc. step out the shadows and get him, make everyone know who their beloved cavalry captain truly is.

yet just at the mention of diluc’s name, about him “getting hurt”, his own legs turn him around, walk him down the stairs and seat him behind the counter. he can’t bring himself to do it. he can’t tear down his younger brother’s one chance of happiness. he can forget you. it’s not like he ever deserved you anyway.

┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹ ִֶָ໑┈─ ⊹

“-iluc. diluc. DILUC!”

a soft but stern voice is shaking him awake. it’s his maid.

“master diluc, you have to get up right now! master jean is waiting for you - captain kaeya and miss y/n have vanished from the city, only leaving a little note! nobody has heard from them!”

a/n: hi!! thank u for the request im surprised so many people loved it and wanted a part two hahaha. requests are open again guys so send them in :D

[papermonkeyism]

Hello! I just wanted to say hi and when I was in I think high school I followed Wurr like religiously through DeviantArt and now it's a decade later and I remembered how much I enjoyed it and I was like huh I wonder if I can find it again and lo and behold I found you again and you're still making lovely and charming art and I adore your wingbeans they're so cute!!! Are you still writing Wurr? Or have you moved on to other projects it's over the years?

Aww, thanks. I'm glad you like my work!

So the thing with Wurr.

There are more pages drawn than there are online, but I can't upload those, because the story is at a place where it's going to start a long series of cliffhangers, and there just isn't enough buffer for me to start publishing pages again without being left hanging, and once I'll run out of pages I'd like the story to be at a point where it won't be left in a too painful place because I get enough angry messages demanding continuation as is.

When I started Wurr (in 2007) I was in an art school for animation, surrounded by peers and I was able to draw in a company that could beta read my pages while I was making them. Once I left there, I went to another art school, this time for comics, and was able to dedicate more time for the comic, and this is where my drawing it really took off. Again, being surrounded by peers who could beta while I worked.

After that I went into yet another art school, this time for my Bachelor's in multimedia production. Nothing is better for drawing comics than art history lectures, I tell ya. While my classmates weren't as involved or interested in my work, I did have a friend from the graphic design department. My Brainstorm Buddy lived nearby, we both had our own comics we worked on, so we formed our own two person comic drawing peer group. We could critique each other while we were drawing, cheering each other, and it was awesome.

Then I graduated, and the Brainstorm Buddy moved to another town. But it was fine, I had plenty of free time as unemployed. I had trouble drawing alone on my own without live critique, but I made it work. I couldn't focus at home, but I had this small ice cream cafe I could go to draw.

Then I got a job at a warehouse, and suddenly I had to dedicate 11 hour chunks of my days for being at work or commuting. It was quite draining in itself, and also having a time consuming, mentally demanding extra job like a plot heavy comic with full pencil shading at the side was getting harder.

I started slipping. Small errors that I didn't notice while drawing but people pointed out once I published the pages, and I had to go back to redraw and frankenstein several of them. It's all done by pencils and markers on real paper, so I couldn't just copy-paste move things around a bit when I made mistakes. I started to get slower in my drawing to compensate...

Untill I became so anxious and self-conscious about my slowness that one single comment was enough to break me, and I was forced to take a hiatus.

At one point I was about to get my act back together, started drawing pages again and did, in fact, upload few pages, but that's when the pandemic hit. I don't have many IRL friends to begin with, and we don't comic together anyway, and then we just stopped seeing each other for a while. The little ice cream cafe closed down and doesn't exist anymore. Tried to find another cafe, and even found one, but that also closed down.

I have no comic drawing peer group. I have no place to draw, to think.

And nowdays whenever I so much as mention Wurr online, I get people coming to my ask box or comments to lament how hard it is that there's no comic updates. Most just make me feel bad, guilty for letting the comic down. Telling me how much of a shame it is that I've quit or killed it. How sad the characters must be. I once got an entire eulogy for the comic! Wish I had screen shotted it before deleteing... Or that one comment calling me irrelevant and pathetic and I should just continue Wurr. (I'm actually not even mad at that one, it was such an obvious case of an arsehole I just blocked them and moved on, but if I ever need proof I can find it again) Quite recently had someone send me a lecture on how I shouldn't work for external validation and should continue drawing the comic for myself instead after I merely mentioned Wurr in an ask.

See, it turns out I appear to have a pretty severe case of ADHD (diagnosis currently in process) that was never a bother when I had a peer group and an environment where to draw, because storytelling is one of my special interests. But I absolutely suck at focusing by myself when I'm stuck home with only my own brain as company. I'm just swimming in brain fog these days, and Wurr requires an alert brain to handle all the plot threads, characters, timing, environmental planning, etc.

I live alone. In a tiny one-room apartment. I have very few IRL friends. I have my DnD group that helps me stay sane, but we usually only see each other when we play DnD. The one of them I mostly hang out with outside of games is kinda new, we just started hanging out last fall. Haven't talked comics with him, and he hasn't read Wurr. I did draw a comic page with another one of my DnD buddies last year, but we just don't hang out like we used to.

Would be nice to get to comic again one day. There are things planned in the comic's future I'd like to see done. I just do not have enough mental bandwidth to focus on it right now, or the peer/brainstorm/beta buddy to help corral my scattered, foggy brain away from the most obvious errors.

*shrug* Dunno. Maybe if I manage to get the ADHD medicated. And a cafe to draw in. I miss having a Brainstorm Buddy.

I mean, yeah, I have other projects ("as well as" not "instead of"), but I'm not writing anything at the moment, I'm just drawing whatever feels fun to draw. My thoughts are visual and I can't brain words. I'm always juggling multiple headworlds at any given time anyway (see: ADHD).

[prettyoddfever]

Hello! I saw on your YouTube you said that there are a lot of videos you haven’t posted because they got taken down. You could try using Vimeo to post those videos because they aren’t strict with copyright and things like that. I would love to see some videos I haven’t seen before on there!

I started to do that last year with a couple videos, but then I took them down because I'm nervous about the legality of that... like if it gets straight up removed from youtube during the uploading process then I don't think I should post the full thing anywhere else. I've tried to add very short clips of the best moments from some of those videos into my longer edits, though! but in some cases even a few seconds of just the audio from an interview gets the whole edit blocked. And that seems silly because all of this content used to be available to download on fan sites like nbd... and I especially don't get why the SNL performance gets blocked when the rest of that episode seems to be on youtube just fine.

But it's not like I'm over here sitting on hundreds of videos that aren't online, sorry. There are only maybe 10-20 that haven't worked to upload. I'm missing a tragic amount of content. I really regret not saving more... I never planned to have an account like this where I'd be trying to recap stuff, and I didn't realize things back then were so temporary either. Blame Viacom. Here’s a list of some of the content I think I’m missing so far.

side tangent that’s slightly relevant:

Youtube wasn't that widely used in 2005 when P!ATD started touring. I remember using it more by spring 2006 (and then it was huge by that summer), but for a while fans were most likely to upload their videos from shows to sites that no longer exist, like buzznet. That's why there are only scraps of random videos from fall 2005 left on youtube... and those were often uploaded later from someone who didn't film them. For example, there are a lot of GroveStBrent's videos from a Chain Reaction show in December 2005 left on youtube because that person lost their original files around the end of the Fever era and asked if anyone had saved their videos. Those got collected, put into a zip file, passed around, and then someone put them on youtube. So the fact that there are way more youtube videos from that one show at Chain Reaction than anything else in late 2005 doesn't mean it had any special significance... those videos were just shared at a point when youtube was more commonly used. I think this is important to point out because it seems like some teens these days are under the impression that P!ATD wasn’t very big yet in fall 2005 since there are barely any videos from that season on youtube. The reality is that P!ATD was already quite popular in fall 2005… but youtube wasn’t. 

Anyways, people starting using youtube more as 2006 progressed and there was SO much content shared from shows & interviews during the last half of the Fever era. The problem was that apparently MTV owned a ridiculous amount of the shows/channels that P!ATD was featured on (even stuff like Razer). Viacom sued youtube around the end of the Fever era, which meant a good chunk of the Panic fandom's videos were deleted and some channels were removed for repeatedly trying to re-upload banned content. That's why so many of the Fever-era interviews that are left have an upload date of 2007 or later. And that's why we're left with scraps like that pathetically blurry short clip of Brendon holding Ryan's hand instead of the whole series of those T-Minus Rock episodes. 

Basically, I'm trying to share some basic content that the fandom had in 2006-2008, but I'm also trying to not do anything sketchy. The majority of the videos that I'm missing or just can't upload are tied to Viacom in some way... and it's so sad because what is any company even doing with that footage at this point. 

[dindjarins04]

6a) Do you need a hug? With Din

I’d love to see this with Din asking this to the reader after she’s just had a really rough day with all the little things not going quite right (burning rations, knocking thing over while cleaning around the Crest things like that). And Din is just awkward and sweet about the whole thing and maybe the reader get a little emotional about how Din is just being a softie with fluff and comfort all around.

Ohmygosh I loved writing this so much! Thank you for this idea! I love Soft!Din so much!!

Rough Days

Din Djarin X FEM!Reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Prompt: 6A) Do you need a hug?

Warnings: Soft!Din, mention of blood but like a tiny bit.

Request rules here

Prompt List here

Main Masterlist here

Din Djarin/The Mandalorian Masterlist here

It was one of those days nothing was going right. Mando left at the crack of dawn to take on, in his words, 'a particularly hard bounty'. So, you were left to care for the child which you do a lot but today, it all fell apart.

It first started when you were cooking food for you and the child. You saw he was fidgeting in his seat, a clear sign he was hungry. However, somehow you managed to burn the food. With a sigh, you threw it away and went rummaging around for any more food but of course, the only rations left was a small pack of nuts. You looked at the child who was waiting patiently and sighed. You opened the pack and poured them into a bowl before handing them to the child. He looked at you as if he was waiting for more.

"Sorry kid, that's all we have," But even though he didn't seem impressed, he still ate them. You thought things couldn't go wrong from there but you were wrong. While the child was occupied with playing with your stuff on the small makeshift table, you decided to clean the ship up. However, it didn't go according to plan.

Every time you swept an area, you would turn and knock something over in the small space of the Crest. It didn't happen once or twice, no, it happened anytime you turned. The child's toys that were put neatly away on shelves were a mess on the floor along with other belongings the Mandalorian or you owned. You were picking things up and putting them back when the baby began to cry. You turned to him and saw him just crying, he hadn't dropped anything or broke anything.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" You looked over at the pan still covered in burnt soup that was suppose to fill him and you up until Mando went out for supplies. "Mando's going to kill me," You groan.

After finally cleaning up the mess you caused, you tried to put the child to bed as it was nighttime. But he refused to sleep on an empty stomach. You kept rocking him back and forth, walking the length of the Crest but he kept crying, kicking, squirming. It made you feel useless like you couldn't do the specific job Mando hired you for. Keeping angry and sad tears at bay, you kept rocking him back and forth but to no avail.

You placed him down at the table and gave him something to amuse himself with while you went to clean Mando's weapons. He told you not to do it while the child was still around but you wanted to be helpful and do this job so he didn't stress about it and the child wasn't going to sleep. Anyway, the child seemed pretty happy to play with your holopad. You sat away from the child but you could still see him and make sure he's okay. You just hope the screen lulls him to sleep. You decided to clean Mando's knives, if he saw you cleaning his blasters while the child was around, he'd probably dump you on some backwater planet.

You were gently cleaning the blade, the cloth in your hand sliding up and down the stained metal. The child made cooing sounds and touched the screen before looking at you, motioning to the screen. You placed down the knife and walked over and saw the child has opened a picture of you and the Mandalorian. A picture you assured Mando you deleted but one you keep for memories. You smile before picking up the child. He began yawning as you rocked him. You celebrated in your head and then the ramp opened. You turned quickly and was relieved to see Mando come inside, dragging a bounty behind him.

"Finally, we've been walking for ages," The bounty complained but he barely had time to look around before Mando shoved him into carbonite. You smiled softly as he hit the button and the ramp closed.

"How'd it go?" You asked.

"It was okay, not one of my easiest but not one of my hardest," The child in your arms began to wiggle out of your grasp. You set him on the ground as he runs to the Mandalorian. "Hey kid," He says as he picks him up. "Why are you still awake?"

"He wouldn't sleep...I think he was waiting for you," You respond as he holds the child with such gentleness.

"You missed me, buddy? I missed you too," He says as he walks over to the compartment the child slept in. You sat back in your original place and continued to do your job. However, you were watching Mando put the child to bed with such ease and kindness. You smiled at the interaction which made you feel better after the day you've had.

"Ah-!" You drop the knife and cloth when cutting yourself. Mando is quick to turn and look over at what happened. You cursed and clutched your wound. It was nothing critical but it stung a lot. After double-checking the baby was asleep, he closed the doors and walked over to you.

"Let me see that-"

"No! I'm fine," You push past him and went over to where the first aid kit was. You didn't want to feel even more pathetic from him asking to help. Maybe if you didn't have such a bad day, you would've accepted his help but you were so angry at yourself for doing nothing right you just wasn't in the mood for help. You can sense his eyes on you as you brought out the first aid kit and you felt him cringe when you dropped the box and its contents spilt over the floor. You bit the inside of your cheek, frustrated and humiliated.

"Are you alright?" His voice was soft, even through the modulator.

"No. I'm not. Everything today has just gone wrong. I burnt the child's food so he didn't eat and proper meal. I tried cleaning up but successfully made more of a mess and I can't even take care of myself let alone the child!" You exclaim, refusing to turn and look at the beskar clad man behind you.

"Do you need a hug?" You could the hesitation in his voice but the gentle tone almost made you melt. You turned and nodded. He walked over to you and pulled you into a hug. You wrapped your arms tightly around him, burying your head in the fabric between his helmet and shoulder pads. At first, the hug felt force but eventually his arms wrapped around you comfortably as he rested the side of his helmet on top of your head. The kindness he was displaying and how sweet he was being made you cry. "I...What's wrong?" He quickly asks, pulling away, thinking the hug was the wrong move but when you pulled him back, he happily returned.

"Thank you," You mumble, the affection he is displaying overwhelming to you.

"Anything for you, cyare," You look up at him and he gently wipes away a rogue tear with his gloved thumb. "How about we get this wound dressed?"

"M'kay," You respond, relishing in the feeling of this embrace just a little bit longer before pulling away and allowing him to wrap up your injury, his affection making you feel so much better. He is so gentle and soft when cleaning the wound and wrapping it up. "I'm sorry," You say after a long yet comfortable silence.

"What for?"

"For this...you should be relaxing not worrying about me after your hunts," He chuckles and shakes his head.

"Cyare, I choose to care for you. I choose you," He says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I've just been feeling useless all day, not being able to do anything right-"

"We all have our off days when we can't seem to do anything right," He says softly. "Sometimes my hunts go wrong and I have to stay on planets longer than anticipated," He laces his fingers with yours. "But that's human. Making mistakes is human. Being angry is human,"

"Says the least human person in the galaxy," You joke, earning a soft laugh from him.

"You're not useless...you've just had a rough day...you're the only person who can keep me grounded," He rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. "I...I think it's time for you to get some rest,"

"I think it's time for us to get some rest," You encourage. He smiles beneath his helmet and nods.

~~~

After locking down the ship to have a peaceful night sleep, he follows you into his room. You help him remove his armour, piece by piece and neatly stacking it in the corner. You leave his helmet, of course, and any other clothing. You get in the cot and he turns off the light before joining you. He wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer to him. With a smile, you cuddle into him, relishing in this warm embrace and this relationship, a relationship you wish will bloom into something more.

[starfirette]

Corynorhinus

✨very short. My first battinson fic. I wrote it literally laying in bed on my phone, when I should be sleeping. This fic is such shit and I might delete it LOL

✨ angsty, I went for sad vibes here, I stole some Batman Begins dialogue.

✨ masterlist ~ more battinson to come ❤️

Raindrops pattered the canvas of your black umbrella.

The cloudy sky and the wind chill made you shiver, your teeth rattling in your skull as you watched Bruce hide behind the door.

"You haven't been answering my calls," you said, loudly to be heard over the thunder storm.

Bruce's soft eyes flickered down. "I've been working," he said.

For a brief moment only thunder and rain played between you two.

Bruce carefully opened the door wider, finally revealing his full figure. Bloody gauze and prickly sutures poked from the collar of Bruce's dark tee shirt.

He posed awkwardly at the threshold, staring at a spot on the ground with hard eyes.

"You could look at me, at least," you said firmly. You refused to lose your composure.

Bruce's eyes dragged up, the movement looking painful on his pale eyelids. Purple shadows kissed the bags of his eyes, the darkness like the night he was so fond of. He loved it so much that it had become part of him; the night was a physical feature on Bruce Wayne's face, in those purple shades much like bruises.

"You're sad," Bruce muttered. His words were strained. The thick weight of his voice betrayed his heart.

"I never hear from you," you said. You shrugged, your body shifting back and forth with uneasy distress. You were moments away from falling apart.

It was perhaps a pathetic display. The most pathetic that Bruce Wayne had ever likely seen. You knew Bruce well enough to know that's what he was thinking behind those somber eyes.

You stood on the doorstep of the derelict house, trying to shield yourself from the stinging rain. Beyond Bruce was darkness; more darkness, more shadows.

"I would have never come back if it weren't for you," you told him. You gripped the umbrella for dear life. It was the only physical relic keeping you grounded, and without it you worried you would collapse.

Your words trembled into the rain.

As thick drops pounded the canvas of your umbrella, Bruce stared at you with furrowed brows. He looked so expectant: so ready to listen to your woes.

"After all the death and loss I've felt, I didn't think there was anything left here for me. Gotham felt like a graveyard. But then you...you were selfish."

"You made me fall in love with you. You lured me in with unspoken promises. Security, loyalty, long lasting companionship. I was so willing to leave everything behind to be with both of you. With Bruce and the Bat. I thought that maybe they were one in the same. That Bruce Wayne was the Bat in some weird way.And then it all went to shit. I know that Bruce Wayne loves me. But I don't think that He does."

Bruce's eyes didn't waver as he watched you fidget in place.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you could feel tears slide down your face.

This was to be expected.

You're sure that Bruce knew what you'd been leading up to all this time. There's no way he could be so ignorant. He knew that you'd eventually leave.

And he'd let it happen. He didn't try to stop it. He didn't try to fix the problems that plagued your mind and heart.

You shrugged, rain slipping down the back of the umbrella and splashing the back of your legs. "Maybe one day, when Gotham doesn't need Batman anymore, I'll see him again. The man that loves me. But I can't wait. I can't put my life on hold for him. For either of them."

"Where will you go?" Bruce asked, his voice just a slight decibel higher.

You kicked the ground to show off the black, velvet heels you begrudgingly wore. "Spain. Back to my aunt's estate. I'll stay there for a while. Until it feels better."

Until I'm over you.

The unspoken words littered the air between you.

Bruce used a bandaged hand to brush the fringe of hair from his eyes. He looked handsome with his hair out of his face. He looked like the man you'd fallen in love with.

"I hope that you take care of yourself. And of Alfred. Okay?"

"I love you," Bruce mumbled.

A painful smile spread over your mouth. "Don't say that to me."

You expected him to follow you down the steps of the worn grounds, of the Wayne estate he had recently reaquired. But each clack of your heels against the pavement marked the growing distance between you two. Your heart begged you to turn and look back, to take just one more glance-but you knew better than to torture yourself that way.

Thunder cracked throughout the Gotham countryside as you lowered your umbrella, no longer able to manage the strength and keep it up.

Cold rain sliced your skin. The drops washed your tears away.

You slid into the backseat of your car, pulling the seatbelt in place. "I'm ready," you said softly to the driver.

The car rolled out of the driveway, merging onto the main road. You watched the old Wayne country house grow smaller and smaller in the distance. You hoped that Bruce was still in the doorway, doing just the same with your car. But you knew better than to hold onto such childish hopes and dreams.

You rejected the heat that the car's vents had to offer. You closed them up, despite being cold, and you curled in your seat, leaning your head against the window.

With your arms wrapped around yourself, you tried not to shiver; warmth would only make you sad. It would only remind you of Bruce's arms around you, of the crackling fire place in his bedroom, or of the hot chocolate you drank with Alfred during the insomniatic hours of the night.

You were exhausted.

Your eyelids were heavy, as if threaded with ship anchors. You curled into the warmth of the cashmere coat, taking a deep breath. You'd reject the heat for now. You'd reject the heat until your heart could bear the weight of the emotions.

You'd reject it until your coat no longer smelled like Bruce Wayne.

[sourholland]

Ooooh angst “what about us?” “there is no us, there never was.” with tom plssss! Really love ur work 🌸

Last Kiss || Tom Holland

Summary → After a fling you and Tom had started while filming a movie together, he tells you that you two can’t be together anymore. Once you get home, Tom let’s you know that he made a mistake.

AN → This was supposed to come out yesterday, I just got lazy and waited to edit it. I can’t tell if I like how this came out or hate it, either way, I hope you guys like this. Also in honor of the Fearless re-record!!

Pairing(s) → Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Warnings → Strong Language, Suggestive, Alcohol Use

Prompt(s) → 38

Word Count → 1.9k

The ringing of your phone sounded through your apartment loudly, the sound of the rain pattering loudly against the windows out-looking New York City. You set down the remote, feet padding against the cold hardwood while you looked for your buzzing cellphone.

You didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID, picking it up bringing it to your ear all in one quick motion.

“Hello?” You said, pulling a wine glass down from the cabinet.

“Y/N?” Tom’s voice came through the phone.

Your heart dropped, a breath catching in your throat while you stood in your kitchen. He was across the country, wanting nothing to do with you. He repeated your name through the phone, asking if you were there.

“Yeah, I’m here,” you answered, pouring more wine than you’d originally intended into the glass.

“Isn’t it like one in the morning in England?” You asked, listening to the muffles coming through the speaker.

“Yeah—yeah, it’s late here. I just couldn’t sleep, and I started to think of you. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have called.”

You sat at one of the barstools, swirling the red contents of the glass around. You wanted to yell at him, or maybe you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You sat silently for a few moments, bare legs cold from the draft.

“Tom,” you started. “I just don’t get why we have to rehash the past, you know? I came back to New York, just like you told me I should. You’re working on whatever new movie, I’m doing the same. I don’t know—I just think we should leave whatever happened between us alone. You made it very clear that it was me that you didn’t want,” you mumbled, pulling at the sleeves of your sweater.

He audibly sighed, the ruffling of sheets coming through the phone. He was probably in bed, if he wasn’t so far away you’d have asked him if this was a sad attempt at getting you to sleep with him.

“I was fucking stupid, and I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry, I’ve said that a million times,” his voice was hoarse and tired.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Tom. I just can’t keep doing this—this thing with you.”

You both went quiet for a minute, the only sound being the noise from outside in the bustling streets of the city and the rain. You knew you should hang up, block his number and forget about anything you two ever had. You’d tried a few times, unable to bring yourself to doing it.

“What about us?” He asked lowly, a twinge of hurt in his tired voice.

“There is no us, Tom,” you replied. “I’m not even sure there ever was.”

He didn’t say anything, you wanted to let out the repressed cry and tell him you didn’t mean it. That you were sorry and that you thought about him more than you’d like to admit. Something in you knew if you didn’t do your best to cut it off, you two would continue down the same everlasting cycle.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay.”

The line went silent for a moment, and then your home screen lit up. The call had been ended. You downed the remainder of your wine, ditching the cup and just going for the bottle. You thought about calling him back, about apologizing and booking a plane ticket like some lovesick teenager.

You opened Instagram and began scrolling through your feed of posts, liking and commenting occasionally. You weren’t anywhere near drunk, merely tipsy and heartbroken. Your finger lingered on the button to go live, wondering if you really wanted thousands of people to see you in this state.

You left the kitchen and instead propped your phone against the couch, taking a seat on the white rug of your living room. You wearily pressed the go live button, raising the bottle to your chapped lips once more. You are pathetic, you thought.

“Hey guys!” You smiled at the camera and outpouring of greetings in the comments. Within a few minutes you’d racked in a few thousand viewers. You grabbed the guitar sitting against your wall and strummed the cords lightly while it sat in your lap.

userone: you are so adorable

usertwo: can you please say hi?!!!??

userthree: it’s my birthday y/n!

“I’m sorry I haven’t been very active on social media, guys. It’s been super crazy traveling back and forth from London to New York and then having to leave again in a few weeks. And now I’m sitting on my living room floor with a bottle of wine,” you laughed. A few familiar people popped into the comments of the live, some you’ve worked with and some you’ve yet to meet in person.

florencepugh: y/n!!!

gracieabrams: might just bust out the wine just for u

“Florence, I can’t wait to see you soon!” You smiled, “Gracie, I swear it’s making everything like a hundred times better.”

userfour: i���m in love with her

userfive: y/n saving 2021???!!!

“I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be singing,” you flushed. You did sing, before getting into acting you’d post a lot on Instagram and TikTok. It’d always been more of a hobby, something you loved to do, but weren’t good enough to pursue.

“I’ve had a little too much to drink,” you added. “So don’t get upset if I’m a little pitchy, guys.”

usersix: if she’s pitchy i’m not sure what i am

userseven: sing taylor swift!!!

“Okay, okay!” You chuckled, scrolling through the hundreds of comments saying to play Taylor Swift. You’d only just been crying to like three of her albums a few hours before.

“How about the chorus—and maybe the bridge too, yeah, that’ll work,” you mumbled to yourself, fiddling with the strings. “Alright, guys, Last Kiss it is. I won’t bore you all with the whole thing, though. I could never do Taylor justice.”

“And I’ll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes”

Getting involved with him was singlehandedly the most stupid decision you’ve ever made, you thought. Late nights in his flat after long nights on set, ordering in and just talking, you two would talk as if you’d known each other your whole lives. It was something about the way he’d let you wear his clothes, or the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear while you told him about whatever insignificant thing that had happened that day.

“All that I know,

I don’t know how to be something you miss”

The car ride to the airport was the worst, it was grey and cold outside. There was makeup running down your face, mascara covering your eyes generously. You’d wrapped filming a week earlier, unable to bring yourself to walk away from him.

You couldn’t tell the driver to turn you around, or could you? Tom had already made it clear that you were both in different places in your career. This wasn’t what he wanted. You weren’t what he wanted.

“I never thought we’d have our last kiss”

He had held you just a little tighter, you ran your fingers through his hair for just a second longer. The taste of each other lingering on the both of your lips. Like you knew it would be the last time he’d hold you without knowing.

His stupid smiled, the way he pulled away and ran his thumb over your swollen bottom lip. You were almost wrapped around his finger, absolutely sickened with desire and infatuation for him.

“I never imagined we’d end like this,

Your name, forever the name on my lips”

The day you’d left to come home to New York started with a huge argument between the two of you. He’d basically just told you that you’d both known from the beginning you wouldn’t last together. It wasn’t a matter of how much you cared for one another, but that it was impossible, as he put it.

His eyes glossed over and bloodshot, you a complete and utter mess. Slamming the door behind you as you left was one of the most painful things you’d ever endured. Even more painful, the fact that he never came after you.

“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep”

“I can feel you staring at me, love,” he murmured against the pillow.

Your face heated, eyes averting to the stream of light through the sheerness of the curtains. He leaned into you a moment later, his lips soft on your own. He was warm, he was always so warm. You cupped the side of his face gently, pulling him in a bit harder.

“And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”

You dropped your bags, stepping into your apartment after months of being away. It felt quieter than usual, desolate and empty from your being away. It was dark out, the illumination of the bright city lights from your windows.

You glanced down at your phone for a moment, not a missed call, not a text, not even a fucking notification. He’d simply told you to go home, nothing more nothing less.

“I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are,

Hope it’s nice where you are”

You’d texted Harrison a few times, regretting it almost immediately after. He was sweet, telling you that Tom would come around eventually and to just be patient. You’d relied on those kind words for some time, eventually deleting them all together.

After Tom’s first text, you’d realized he wasn’t coming around or regretting what he’d said to you. He was lonely, maybe even a bit desperate. For months you had been there to listen to him and hold him, and now you were gone.

You’d fed into it the first few times, sitting on the phone with him for hours at a time. Then you started to feel worse hearing his voice, silent sobs escaping as you’d listen to him ramble. Then your finger would linger over the decline button a little longer than usual when he’d call, until eventually you started to use it.

“And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day,

And something reminds you,

You wish you had stayed”

Once you started to go out with other guys, Tom’s ‘I miss you’ texts became more infrequent. Paparazzi would snap pictures, and the next morning they’d be plastered all over the internet.

There was no doubt he was seeing you going out with other people, watching article after article about who you were dating surface. Would he be jealous? No, you thought. Tom was probably doing the same thing as you. Hopeless hookups, meaningless blind dates.

“You can plan for a change in the weather and time”

One early morning, you found yourself in a sweatshirt you’d stolen from one of his drawers and forgotten to return. Listening to the morning rush of traffic and hugging yourself, noticing the lingering smell of his cologne.

You wondered if he knew you’d taken it, if he would think you were pathetic wearing it months after you two had broken things off. This only made you clutch yourself a little tighter, closing your eyes and trying to remember.

“But I never planned on you changing your mind”