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kithalsey · 2 months ago

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"I HEARD YOU LIKE MAGIC; I GOT A WAND AND A RABBIT"

INTRODUCING…

NAME: Katherine Halsey

NICKNAME(S): Kit, Kit-Kat

LABEL: The Hoyden

GENDER & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: Cis Female {She/Her}

HERITAGE: English, Scottish, Irish, one eighth Ashkenazi Jewish, and distant French and Dutch

AGE: 27

BIRTHDAY: February 14, 1997

ZODIAC: Aquarius Sun, Pisces Moon, Aries Rising

SEXUALITY: Lesbian

OCCUPATION: Band Photographer/Roadie

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Madison Iseman HEIGHT: 5'2" WEIGHT: 101 lbs. DOMINANT HAND: Left HAIR COLOR: Blonde EYE COLOR: Blue SCARS: Tiny ones on hands from music equipment management TATTOOS: 3 dragons on her lower back (left side), king of spades tattoo on outer right wrist

►PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Comedic, Adventurous, Confident NEGATIVE TRAITS: Blunt, Lost, Impetuous LIKES: Last minute plans, rum and coke, laughing so hard your stomach hurts, going to concerts/festivals, getting lost in a new city DISLIKES: Harsh judgement, being on the outside of an inside joke, people who think lowly of others they've never met, when people cut her off on the parkway

►MENTALITY

PHOBIAS: Nyctophobia DISORDERS: Anxiety, BPD, BD ALLERGIES: Seasonal

►BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Myrtle Beach, SC CURRENT RESIDENCE: Downtown, Kismet Harbor, OR EDUCATION LEVEL: High School FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS: -McKenna Halsey, 58, mother, Slightly In Contact -Max Jamseon, 55, father, Unknown -Kevin Halsey, 46, step-father, Not In Contact

►FAVORITES

FOOD: Hawaiian pizza DRINK: Monster MOVIE: Everything Everywhere All At Once TV SHOW: Rick & Morty, Bob's Burgers BAND/ARTIST: Waterparks, With Confidence, Chappell Roan SONG: Red Wine Supernova - Chappell Roan

► EXTRA INFORMATION

JUNG TYPE: ENTP ENNEAGRAM: The Buddy (6w7) TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good SIN: Lust VIRTUE: Humility ELEMENT: Air CHARACTER PLAYLIST

UP NEXT: “RED WINE SUPERNOVA” BY CHAPPELL ROAN

BIOGRAPHY:

Kit was born in a very interesting household. Living at her grandmother’s, but the tiny house being filled with 2 sets of aunts and uncles, a handful of little cousins, a couple cousins her age, and her own parents - there was never such a thing as quiet. Though, she never truly minded that. From helping babysit her cousins, to getting into trouble with other cousins she saw as best friends - the girl found her place in the family rather quickly. One thing she did mind was the lack of privacy. When things got to be a bit too much, she would stow away in her room with her music blasted so loud her grandmother would yell at her to turn it down. Would she? Well, no. In fact, once she would hear the yelling, the music would just be cranked up even more. She was 10 when she got a beginner guitar for Christmas. It was a special gift from her grandfather before his passing a couple weeks later. She was no Taylor Swift, let’s be clear. Though, she was pretty good at coming up with melodies and could play some classic hits by ear. As she grew older, she added piano and the bass to her instrument roster. She also took improv classes in high school and was a part of the color guard. She wasn’t the best at school, but she was an A/B student in gen ed classes. It was enough to get her into community college, and that’s all she really cared about. Until, she met her best friends in high school. They created a band that no one took seriously. At first, Kit was the keyboardist, then she was the bassist, but ultimately she became a photographer and manager for the band. When Freshman year became Sophomore year, they were playing at homecoming and at house parties. By junior year, they were playing at the local venues and Warped Tour. Senior year was when they took off thanks to TikTok. Senior year was also the year her mother came clean about the man she had always known to be her dad, was actually not her father. This struck a cord in the young Kit and when the opportunity to go on tour came up again, she took it and ran. This time, she was attempting to figure out who she was whilst on the road. She stepped down as manager due to her mental health, but continued to be the photographer as well as a roadie for the band.

EXTRA-EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT HER!

With a deep fear of abandonment, Kit keeps people at arm's distance. Yet, she knows how to make someone feel as though they are one of her best friends. It's a superpower she's had ever since she was younger - she knows how to make people feel special. She keeps her circle fairly small, but she needs to be around people constantly or she gets plagued by loneliness. She's the most introverted extrovert you could ever meet - easily found cooped up in her apartment reading a good book when she has alone time. The life of every party, she cares more about the invitation than the actual event at hand. Though, when she shows up, she tends to have a group of people surrounding her as she talks about her odd adventures on the road. She's comedic to a default. Not really meaning to be, she utilizes humor as a way to defuse situations, change the topic, and mask trauma. Growing up going to more funerals than weddings, Kit is desensitized to a lot of dark topics which makes her have a little bit of a morbid streak from time to time and a twisted humor. Kit just overall, is not easily digestible and she has a long list of exes who will tell you just that. Due to her flighty nature, she tends to love someone but leave them and hit the road when things take a turn to becoming serious or when someone tries to get to know her on a deeper level. This is an spect of herself that she is aware of, but it's also a sense of protection in her eyes to keep her heart from any damage. She is a lover of baseball and hockey. Kit also loves to surf, skateboard, and throw some hoops. She was on the varsity soccer team in high school and would've continued off to college with it if it weren't for the band getting big. She is definitely a fun time, and an excellent wing woman.

#kismetharbor.intro

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sleepybabybearshay · 7 months ago

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Day Nine

When I was six right after my parents got divorced my baby sitter was putting sunscreen on me so we could go swimming. She pinched my stomach so hard it left a bruise and said “This is not baby fat. You need to lose this.” I think she just hated me because her husband was into me.

My mom and step dad would also yell at me as I got older and tell me I was eating too much. They would say I was stealing from them if I ate any food they didn’t give me. They fed me one meal a day and put all our food in a chess freezer and padlocked it shut. I was so worried I wouldn’t have enough to eat I would overeat when I had the chance and started gaining weight.

When I was 10 I went to the doctors and they said I was 110 lbs and my mom gasped. I ate a bunch of my moms died pills and rode my bike all day everyday for a week. I also ate basically only rice and vegetables with no sauce for that week. I lost ten pounds and my mom was asking me for my tips and tricks and attached so much value to my smaller body. The boy I had a crush on told me my arms looked smaller and that was the first time I felt that “rush” from losing weight.

When I was 18 I got my weight back down to 110lbs and my college bf loved my thin body so much, even though he was kinda fat. We broke up.

After I physically recovered at 20 and gained some weight, the boy I loved told me I looked gross.

I was never the girl people loved, I was never the girl people wanted, and no matter what anyone says, I am treated drastically different and coveted at my lowest weights and that is the motivation that drives me. I can’t live in this disgusting fat body anymore.

#⭐️ ing motivation #⭐️rving #⭐️vation goals #⭐️ve

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emgenue · 1 year ago

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Hello, Tumblr!

We're halfway through 2023 and what a year it has been.

These past few years have been filled with tragedy; I've lost many people dear to me. It's only now that things are beginning to change, starting with a shift in mindset to count my blessings.

I've also accomplished many things I never thought possible. I know I'm making my loved ones proud. The last year has been a grind. I'm finally transferring to a four-year university to major in aerospace engineering. I'm participating in a NASA program, summer classes, and working on top of it all. A girl barely has time to breathe.

I admit, I've been losing myself in the hustle. I am no longer present in the journey. No one talks about the agony of the battle; we only see results. I did become a yoga instructor. I was in the healthy weight range of around ~135 lbs. and I looked and felt great. Keto worked for me. I was exercising 4-5 days a weeks and living life for myself and not for anybody else's expectations.

Then, everyone died. My support network was decimated in two years. I dropped out of school multiple times and sought therapy to get through the loss. It was a hard journey to get here, but here I am. I've lost so much. I can't lose myself.

So here we are. I weigh more than I ever have and I still feel and look great. My body does so much for me and I am grateful to have my health. There is more to life than an ideal. I don't think I have it in me to chase for a "dream body." Instead, I want to chase the feeling of having energy in the morning, of experiencing the joy of being one with my body.

Yoga allowed me to connect my physical health with my emotional and spiritual wellbeing. I am currently in a state of disconnect and I am seeking to re-establish this foundation so I can be present in my journey. I am an ambitious woman with goals, but I deserve to enjoy my life every step of the way. The hustle does not have to be miserable. Life truly is too short.

Goals for 2023

The rest of this year will be about habits. I have six months to build the foundation for the next year and onwards to the rest of my life. The easiest guideline for me are the five pillars of wellness.

Movement

Walk 10,000 steps daily

Yoga 1-2 time a week

Sleep

8-9 hours

Wake up 08:00 daily

Hydration

64+ oz. of water daily

Carry Hydroflask everywhere

Breath

5 minute sessions with Apple watch

5-10 min. meditation every evening

Nutrition

Eat breakfast daily

Make mindful choices when eating

These aren't in the order of importance, but roughly my personal easiest to hardest. Movement lifts my mood and is a natural anti-depressant. I love to sleep. Water is easy as long as I have my giant Hydroflask with me.

I struggle with breath and nutrition the most. I notice my shoulders are tense and I don't exhale fully when I'm stressed. It builds up and I feel like a bundle of nerves at the end of the day. Nutrition is a challenge for me because I am indecisive and hardly eat a meal a day.

These habits are health-related, but if I want to feel my best, the body is the easiest to control and master. If I wanted to lose weight, keto was extremely effective for me. However, I am a different person with different goals now than I was in 2019. I want a sustainable lifestyle change. I want to be healthy down to my bones, not just on a scale. Ultimately, I want to feel like myself again and, with my ridiculously busy schedule, baby steps will ensure that I reach my destination all in due time.

Wish me luck!

Em♥

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babieken · 1 year ago

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omg girl!! 1: you look beautiful before and after!! 😍 2: I'm highkey envious because I want to get my girlies smaller lol. How's the recovery going? Do you have normal feeling everywhere?

I'm glad it all went well!! 💜

Thank you🥺💞💘💓💕💖 this is such a huge positive change for me bc i had lost about 11kg (24 lbs?) Over the course of 5-6 years and the weight loss had left my big girls (which i already didnt like and were a huge weight on my neck and shoulders) a pair of sagging skin. So i 12/10 recommend doing this if they're really bothering you. It's totally worth it in the long run!

My recovery has been really well i think. One thing i apparently got really lucky with was that i didnt have any bad reaction to the anesthesia so I think that plays a huge part but other than that i will tell u that the first 48 hours is HELL but it gets a LOT easier right after that. The pain is super managable after the 3rd and 4th day and you get back to normal life after 5 days (tho u shouldn't lift heavy for at least 6 weeks).

As to feeling... no the nippies are basically numb. 0 feeling. Idk if u know this but they cut them out completely and reattach them later and bc the nerves are totally disconnected u have no feelings in them. There is a chance u get some feelings back tho (and i read online that some ppl get even more sensitive after surgery but im not holding my breath)

#today i learned that the dr suctioned some fat bellow the armpit area to minimise cutting #like BITCH IS THAT WHY MY SIDES HURT SO BAD???? KDJDKDKD #rn the hardest most annoying thing for me is wearing the compression bra 24/7....#it makes me wanna kms sometimes #and the first week when u have to sleep on ur back only.... hellish. my neck and back hated me #wow i rambled a lot odkdkd #hope this helps #i cant say much abt the long term effects bc im not there yet but so far im supper happy #ask #anon

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filled-with-fat · 3 years ago

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Denver turned Alfie to 600lbs - TLC

I was attending a British University, regularly going to the gym, dating one of the hottest girls in my class. I was extremely muscly and handsome.

After graduating, I got a job in a tech company in London. After about 6 months working with them, I got moved to the company’s US headquarters in Denver. My girlfriend couldn’t move with me because of her job, so I lived in Denver alone.

The first couple of weeks at my new office in Denver was alright. I got acclimatised to the way of life in America - very different from England. I found it very hard to find healthy restaurants and supermarkets to get food in. At lunchtimes when I’d go out for lunch with my colleagues, we would always go to a McDonald’s or a Wendy’s, it was always fast food. Back in England, I would usually go to the gym at least four times a week, but my house in Denver was about an hours bus drive away from the nearest gym and the company didn’t give me a car. I wasn’t working out and all I was doing was eating wholesome fatty foods each day. I was working an office job, being completely stationary for most of the day.

Very quickly my muscles started to become less apparent as my body accumulated with all the fatty foods I had been eating. One of my colleagues, Darla, took me aside one day and asked if everything was alright - clearly referencing my weight gain - but asides from her none of my other colleagues particularly cared about me gaining weight, they were all grossly outsized anyway. It’s a very noticeable difference how fat people are in the USA compared to England and how acceptable it is being fat - no one cares.

After 1 year of working with the company in Denver, I was a changed person. I had ballooned from a healthy athletic 190 lbs muscly man into a 500lbs walking blob of fat. I had a belly that outstretched even a 5xl shirt, rolls folding all down my torso and heavy flabby arms the size of canons. I was morbidly obese. I craved food everyday. I would wake up at 6:30 and order 2x pancake stacks, hash browns, bacon, 2x sausage egg and cheese croissants, and 2 chocolate shakes. Then on the 30 minute bus drive to work I would pound my face with the first chocolate bar of the day. As I got to work I would stop off at a local coffee shop and buy a doughnut and another shake for work. At work, they’d had to buy me a reinforced chair after I broke the standard one from my hefty bulk. They also moved me to a ‘round desk’ so I could actually reach the desk with my arms without my huge belly getting in the way. I would be snacking at my desk throughout the day and was so eager for lunch I would usually leave 10 minutes early at least. Back at my house I would order two takeaways in the space of one evening and often fall asleep on the coach. The process repeats.

After 18 months at the office in Denver, I was set to return back to England. But my position was terminated. Apparently the office in London cited my ‘work ethic’ as a reason for firing me, I took the car to court but lost - failing to show up on the day because I’d rather eat.

At just 20, I was morbidly obese, feeding myself off takeaways and unable to find a job. I am addicted to food, I think about eating and what Im going to be eating and the delicious sensation of eating everyone when Im not eating. So I’ve come to TLC to see what they can do.

#fat as fuck #fat moobs #fat #fat arms #fat piggy #gay fatty #fatboy #fat tummy #immobile #immobile feedee #gay gainer #too fat to move #fatty #make me huge #big fatty #death feederism #death feedist #gay jock

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brostateexam · 3 years ago

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21 days

Going to talk about being post-op for bariatric surgery under the cut. Lots of discussion of food and weight ahead. Keep yourselves safe, please.

It has been three weeks and one day, more or less, since I had surgery. The week after surgery was rough. I slept a lot, and could only have clear liquids to keep myself hydrated. No protein, no fat, and barely any calories. I spent a lot of time on my couch, and when I wasn't sleeping, I was mostly playing one video game on my switch (Pokemon Legends Arceus; it's really fun).

Week two allowed the introduction of protein, which was like night and day. Suddenly, I could focus (at least at times). I had the energy to do more than walk around the block. At the same time, my incisions were healed enough that my every move was no longer agonizing, and I successfully transitioned off of my pain killers and antibiotics. I am still on two different medications for heartburn.

This week allows for the introduction of pureed foods. I actually (very cautiously!) started one day early to see if I could tolerate it by grinding up tinned chicken in a blender with chicken broth to make like a liquid chicken soup puree with some herbs and spices. It wouldn't exactly recommend it as haute cuisine but to someone who's been stuck drinking protein shakes, sugar-free gatorade, and water for like 3 weeks it tasted amazing. I've now moved on to ricotta cheese, yogurt, and lentils (in the form of pureed lentil soup). I even tried some egg salad today, and it was alright.

Since people are maybe curious:

I've lost 40 lbs since beginning my pre-surgical diet on April 10

I've lost 18 lbs since having my surgery on May 11

My biggest clothes hang off of me, and some stuff that I bought that technically fit but was uncomfortably tight now fits perfectly. I think in another few weeks to a month month I will likely choose one or two 2XL shirts to keep as pajamas and then dryclean the others and put them on Poshmark or similar for a song. It's hard to find fat people clothes and I don't need the money. As long as it covers shipping and actually is worn by a fat person instead of some skinny girl who makes a dress out of it idgaf.

I am resisting the urge to write more here about the mechanics of all this stuff because maybe it's not interested to others, but I will say that largely, I feel like me and my body are in agreement about this change, and that it was for sure a great idea. I am already so much happier, and so relieved to have done something that actually works for significant weight loss. I am looking forward to incorporating more foods into my diet, being able to become more active, and while we're being honest, to losing significantly more weight.

#*eating disorder #*weight loss #*diet #surgical weight loss journey

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deathwishnymph · 3 years ago

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so ive eaten a lil bit more than the last week or two. I hate how my brain makes me worried and so fixated on the fear of waking up fat.

but to remind myself that its okay, imma write reasons/reminders for why its okay.

ur last meal was at 5:55. you sleep around nine ish but its a weekend so you have more time to stay awake for fun, and to sleep in for longer so you'll fast longer.

its too damp to go for a walk. its probably going to rain as soon as you get out there. go tomorrow.

more time to do yoga !!

this is the most you've eaten in probably 10 days. its only around 700 so its probably helpful for your metabolism at this point. good way to avoid binges but you should try to eat more If you get hungry later.

look at how skinny your fingers are!! they look so pretty on your MacBook :3

your thigh gap is waaaay bigger than It was before. so a bit more food won't ruin it and put you back at square one.

remember that post that shows 20 lbs of fat? thats how much you lost. thats so much!! im so proud of you.

the girl you envy is gaining weight and looks fatter now. laugh manically abt it bc by Christmas you'll be skinnier than her.

you are good. you are so close to ur ugw. I love you.

222, 555, 777 may your weight drop like a fly on a cold winter day.

#ed #ana #tw ed things #tw ed in the tags #just ed shit #anareksia #anasp0 #anarecca #tw ana things #tw ed thoughts #4namia #pr0 4n4 #pro 4n4 #4n4 #anarecic #anarecja #i want to be skiny #pro 4na

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yanderepuck · 3 years ago

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I want to tell you guys a story about my ED.

I was fairly small all through school and college. I have an hourglass figure, which don't get me wrong I love it. Wide hips, small waist, large chest. And I mean large. At 14 I was a D cup, and by 18 when I graduated I was a DDD. But the rest of my body stayed the same. My measurements were roughly 44-32-44 (bust-waist-hip; inches).

Amazing hourglass figure honestly. But I still wasn't considered attractive. I wasn't the "cute by crazy" girl. Just crazy (because I like anime and sorta dressed goth). It didn't necessarily bother me. But I think in the long run it's affected me. I've never been. Considered attractive. I was 5'2" and about 135 lbs with those measurements, maybe slightly smaller.

And because all my friends are around me getting into relationships or have guys interested in them I sorta thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was fat. Doctors told me to lose weight at 14.

Now I had no clue what anorexia was or eating disorders. It's 2012 mind you. But due to my daily schedule I was able to get away with eating maybe once a day. I didn't eat breakfast, never did. I'd eat lunch at school bc I packed a lunch, and a good amount of time I didn't eat dinner unless if my mom made something I loved. So for 4-5 years all I was eating was my lunch around 11am every day.

I never thought much of it until summers would come and I would go 3 days without eating. The 4th day I ate a sandwich, and then the cycle continued. I still barely thought of it.

Went to college in 2016 and that's when I sorta started to realize what I was doing. It's not that I didn't eat to feel skinny or anything, I just never felt hungry. But I slowly started to eat more. I went to an art school. We're all weirdos, but still no one ever had an interest in me, and I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I started being more feminine. Wearing more fitted clothing. Got into make up.

Slowly started to eat more too. No issues. Then I started to realize that I thought food was a waste. I ate it because I had to, and now I'm actually starting to enjoy it. But in 2017 I'm finally convinced to start taking medication for my anxiety and depression. Try different combinations of medications until something works. End up in the hospital in 2019. Get put on new medications and I take them. That's that.

It's now summer of 2021. I'm trying to go out with friends and none of my summer clothes fit. Nothing about my daily life has changed. I work a desk job now so I'm not moving around as much, but I'm still moving and lifting stuff in the warehouse a lot. But what happened? In not even 2 years my medication caused me to go from 135 lbs to 205lbs. My measurements are now 48-46-48 roughly. I have such a gut that so much of what I have doesn't fit. I'm a 38H in my bra size.

Before I realized it was my medication doing this I went to the gym everyday for two months. I damn well know there's no improvement after a week or two, not for someone like me who is still fairly small. Two months of working out, lifting weights running for an hour everyday? 0 improvement. The only thing that happened was that I maintained the same weight rather than increasing it.

After that I lost motivation. How tf am I going to lose enough weight to feel comfortable with myself if even after 2 months nothing happened. So I stopped the dedication of going that often.

Then I got the idea that it was my medication and I went off of it. I went off of it, I started making sure I ate less, I was making myself throw up. By that time though I didn't really go to the gym. I lost hope that even though i took out the factor that was making me gain weight.

February 2022. I'm in Europe. I'm walking everyday but still only eating one meal a day. One meal around 3 pm and I'm good until the next day. A month and a half of that and I lost 10 lbs. Yes all that walking helped but the quality of food does too.

It's now May 2022 and after losing those 10 lbs I feel a little more hopeful that I actually can lose weight and be comfortable with myself finally. My issue now? Finding the time to work out. Finding the motivation to tell myself to do it.

I work 9-7 doing alterations. I'm sitting most of the day. But it's a consistent schedule I can work with that. Oh but I don't pass any cheap gyms on my way to work.

Getting up early to do it at home? I don't have the self discipline anymore to do that, but I'm going to try.

I'm okay with my thighs being as big as they are, I'm okay if I don't lose all the weight in my arms, or even getting my waist back down to 32(tho 34, would be nice) I'm mainly worried about this goddamn belly pouch.

I KNOW. It'll never be flat. That's not what I'm wanting. I have realistic expectations. Half the size it is now would be great. Losing weight in my face would be great.

Rather than going into exercising full and doing the most, I'm starting out small. Do one thing consistently before adding something else to it.

I don't eat while I'm at work. Maybe I have a waffle before I leave, but in reality I only eat between the hours of 7:30pm and whenever the hell I fall asleep. I drink a lot of water and tea.

I just want to feel good about myself for once in my damn life

#eating disoder recovery #eating problems #bing3 eating #ana #i just want to talk about me and my problems #ik all i do is rant but i normally dont actually talk about ME

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timextoxhajima · 4 years ago

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Grounded: Level 8

Level 7 | Level 9

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader

Taglist: @jaehyvnsvalentine @licorice526 @lolwhatameme @felixn-recs @yunapixie @rindomo @sleeping-hero-of-procastination

A/N: This chapter includes fake character idol profiles so please don’t attack me that your face isn’t there. No, I am not glorifying the fact that only korean girls are pretty, but this is in fact the most culturally accurate account of a fake profile I can create given the context.

WI5HES (위셔스) is a South Korean girl group under HYBE (previously known as BigHit Ent.). The group currently consists of Ju Rin, l/n, Ga Hyun, So Eun and Min Jung. WI5HES debuted on March 15, 2021 under HYBE. They are HYBE’s first girl group since 2014.

Stage Name: Ju Rin

Birthname: Wang Ju Rin

Position: Leader, Lead Vocalist, Sub-Rapper

Birthday: May 10, 2000

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Height: 167cm (5′5)

Weight: 48kg (106 lbs)

Blood Type: A+

Stage Name: l/n y/n

Birthname: y/n

Position: Main Dancer, Lead Rapper, Sub-Vocalist

Birthday: June 15, 2000

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Height: 164cm (5′4)

Weight: 49kg (108 lbs)

Blood Type: O

Stage Name: Ga Hyun

Birthname: Choi Ga Hyun

Position: Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer, Visual

Birthday: October 25, 2001

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Height: 170cm (5′6)

Weight: 51kg (112 lbs)

Blood Type: O

Stage Name: So Eun

Birthname: Kang So Eun

Position: Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Sub-Vocalist, Center

Birthday: November 5, 2001

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Height: 172cm (5′6)

Weight: 50kg (110 lbs)

Blood Type: B

Stage name: Min Jung

Birthname: Gwang Min Jung

Position: Main Vocalist, Lead Rapper, maknae

Birthday: August 15, 2003

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: 163cm (5′3)

Weight: 46kg (101 lbs)

Blood Type: AB

“Five is better than three, annyeonghaseyo, WI5HES-ibnida!” The echo of your introduction rings through the dressing room, backstage of the MCountdown stage. It draws goosebumps from your arms and your back. Min Jung grits her teeth, attempting to contain her anxiety when she sees herself on stage through the recording for the first time.

So Eun’s sobbing into Ju Rin’s shoulder, and Ga Hyun has her phone out, randomly snapping photos of So Eun’s slightly smudged make-up.

“Yah, haven’t you taken enough?” Ju Rin wraps the rim of Ga Hyun’s phone with her palm, covering the camera, unable to contain her grin.

“Aw, come on!” Ga Hyun pouts, retracting her phone and wiping the lens with her sleeve. “It’s not everyday we get to debut.”

Knock Knock

“Who is it?” Ju Rin cranes her neck behind her, nodding for Min Jung to get the door. Already halfway down a bow, Min Jung opens the door to reveal a strange mixture of Hyunjin, I.N, Soobin, Yeonjun and Beomgyu.

“Oh, annyeonghaseyo,” Min Jung’s reflexes are to greet Hyunjin and I.N first.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” Hyunjin and I.N bow to the lot of you, and suddenly everybody’s bowing. “Congratulations on your debut!”

Ju Rin releases So Eun to receive the adorable box of cupcakes from Hyunjin and I.N.

“Chan-hyung and the others send their regards. They couldn’t be here today for a separate schedule.”

“Oh, we’re not the ones you should be reporting this to,” Ga Hyun snickers, pulling away from what looks like a handshake routine with Beomgyu. Eyes turn to you, forcing the blush on your cheeks to be of natural effect and not the make-up.

After the scandal with Yeonjun, things died down relatively quickly. More pictures of you training with the other members were released, diluting the idea that you and Yeonjun were dating. Furthermore, there was no other evidence of you and Yeonjun going out on secret dates that the company didn’t know about.

But of course, WI5HES and TXT know about Minho’s confession, and needless to say, they had to be reeled back under control.

“My God, it’s like you want Lee Know hyung to pass out from jealousy,” Hyunjin’s eyes narrow with mischief, holding out his phone screen to you.

“What? Why would he be jealous? There’s not a single person on that page that’s a threat to him,” Scrolling through the pictures absent-mindedly, you scorn at his baseless remark.

“He’ll be jealous solely from the fact that you look good in your photos,” Jeongin sucks on the upper row of his teeth.

“I know,” A shy smile appears on your lips. “We’ve had this conversation before.”

“Eugh,” Hyunjin shudders, shoulders reaching his ears as he groans in disgust. “Glad I wasn’t around for that conversation.”

“Anyway, thank you all for coming by our Debut Stage today, but we gotta head back to BigHit to handle some new scheduling,” Ju Rin’s waving her hands, telling the girls to pack up and for TXT to help.

Walking past Sunmi, Chungha and other idols while you make your way out of the building felt so strange and alien, you almost couldn’t believe you were at the end of your first promotion. You were an idol now, and there was no going back. Everything you did, every move you made - would be under public scruntiny now, regardless of the reason, whether you liked it or not.

“Thank you!” The bodyguard nods at you as he shuts the door. Sat in the middle with Ju Rin to your right, and the three younger in the back, you can smell the odd mixture of perfume and that strange scent of new costumes and clothes. BigHit - no, HYBE - had invested so much into your costumes though they looked nothing like the price they cost.

Then again, half of you were wearing YSL pullovers and Dior jeans.

“You okay?”

“Hmm?” Turning your head as it leans against the headrest, your eyes meet Ju Rin’s. “Yeah, you? I’m surprised you haven’t cried yet.”

Ju Rin laughs under her breath, glancing out the window as the car starts. “Oh, believe me, I’ve cried. I just don’t do it infront of you guys.”

“Aw,” The sides of your lips curl downwards. There’s a pinch in your heart you can’t take, only because Ju Rin has to keep up such a strong facade for you and for the rest of her members. She’s responsible, and time and time again she reminds you why she was chosen to be leader. “You know you can cry infront of us. You don’t have to act or put up a strong front.”

“I know, but I wouldn’t be able to see you guys crying tears of... happiness if my vision is blurred out by my own, right?”

You can’t contain the scoff that runs out your throat, eyes darting to look at the city outside, now coated with the drizzle that’s blurring the city sights.

“Fucking full of shit,” You chuckle under your breath, unable to hide the smile that’s stretching across your face.

Ju Rin snickers and purses her lips, reaching her left hand out to you. Her hand is warm and soft (from all the moisturizer products she’s using - HYBE’s trying to get her some make-up CF already), but the smile on her face is more home than anything will ever be.

Time to count the number of days before the world is made your home. Tours, meeting new people, inspiring others with your love for performance and dance, the same way you were inspired into chasing a dream that you didn’t even think you had a chance of achieving. Some might say it’s unfair, how the chance fell unto your feet all so easily, like it had been planned. It’s unfair that of all the crew members to be scouted, you were the only one.

But that wasn’t your dream. At that point of time in your life, all you wanted was to fulfil your need to be perfect in dancing; to be by Minho’s side. So, in some way, fate had pulled you away from him instead.

He didn’t tell anybody he auditioned for Cube. He didn’t tell anybody he’d auditioned for JYP before that either, only for JYP to call him back to be part of that cursed show.

And before you knew it, you had lost the one thing you didn’t want to lose: Minho. It was heartbreaking, watching him live his life of a dream that he’d been chasing without you knowing in the first place. You couldn’t decide if you were angry with him for leaving you out of his happiness or if you had simply convinced yourself he had forgotten about you.

But you caught yourself tripping over your own feelings of hurt and love when you realise you started searching for some bit of Minho in someone else, and you were lucky it was Yeonjun. Yeonjun who had a pure heart and nothing but kindness.

The things that could’ve happened had you searched for a part of Minho in someone else who might’ve taken you for granted.

Minho made up for that heartbreak though, when Hyunjin had told him you were alone with Yeonjun, walking to some desolate part of the building but only spotted Yeonjun coming back alone. Minho, who at that point of time already known you a good three (or was it four?) years, knew you well enough to know that you were somewhere sobbing your eyes out.

His scent when he had his arms around you was stuck in your nostrils for days and weeks because that was just how long he had spent being away from you. You didn’t even know how much you missed his scent until it was in your system again.

The risk you both had chosen to take that fateful day when the scandal of you and Yeonjun was released was of astounding magnitude.

Who the Hell confesses their love to another celebrity, so close to their own debut date?

“You,” Minho trills, almost crumpling the Uno cards on the table. The tears in the corners of your eyes are threatening to dribble over your lids, but then Changbin is sitting behind you on the sofa, trying his best to hide his laughter through his gritted teeth. “We’ll see if the two of you can still laugh after this.”

Minho picks up twelve cards with a disproportionate amount of strength, the cards nearly being folded under his fingers.

“Yah- hyung!” Changbin yells and points at the cards, glaring at the elder.

“What? You complain about me damaging the cards as if you can’t afford a new deck yourself.”

“This is our fifth deck!” Changbin nearly screeches, and the exchange forces you to fall to your back at Changbin’s feet, your arm clutching your tummy from how much it hurt from your laughter.

“Oh my God!” The words are struggling to leave your voice box, between silent giggles. “This- this is your- oh, my God- this is your fifth deck?”

“We’ll need a sixth deck soon! Can you tell your man to be a little less aggressive?!” Changbin loses his patience and gets up, hands sweeping the cards off the table and plucking Minho’s set out from his hands.

“Yah!”

“‘Yah’,” Changbin’s distorted imitation of Minho calls for the elder to surge to his feet, suddenly towering over Changbin who cowers on the couch behind you. “Ah- Ah- OkAy, take your stupid cards back-”

“I’ll get you a new deck if I destroy this one, but first I gotta destroy you.”

The finger in your face goes unnoticed when you laugh again, stomach hurting from the aggressive giggling.

“My God, she’s lost it!” Minho sings sarcastically, holding his hands to his head with the cards still in his palm. “No, quick, Earth to y/n, come back so I can win!”

“Eugh,” Changbin groans and squints his eyes. Minho never says these kind of things, so when he does, it’s weird, and unlike of him to do so, making it ultra-

“CriNGe!!!!!” Hyunjin yells at the top of his voice as he exits his room and heads for the kitchen. “Just get a room already!”

“HYUNJIN!” Chan’s voice booms from elsewhere in the apartment.

#lee know #skz lee know #lee know scenarios #lee know fanfic #stray kids #skz #stray kids lee know

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shinydocsberrytea · 3 years ago

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10/25/21 3:02pm - i just saw a repost, the original post is by @tired-soles but that account unfortunately isn’t there now. the original post said “Honestly, I’m at my best when my ed is at it’s worst. My room is clean, I dress nice, I wash my face more, I whiten my teeth, I wear makeup, I do my hair. For some reason the only thing that pulls my out of my depression spiral is my ed and the only thing that pulls me out of my ed is my depression. Idk if anyone else feels like that? Idk I just always feel better when I’m losing weight and excersizing and not eating. Idk maybe it’s my body thinks I’m finally being healthy? But I’m not? So… idk, it’s just really weird.” reading this hit me hard. bc it’s so goddamn relatable. i only ever dress up & wear tight clothes/makeup/accessories/fishnets/fancy shoes & put 110% effort in when i hit a new lowest ever recorded weight. or at least when i’m at my lowest weight i’ve hit so far, just not higher. otherwise i wear pajamas/rlly baggy clothes/windbreakers/hoodies. for the first time in 4 fucking months, i went over my maintenance calories 2 days ago. almost 1000 calories over my maintenance. and i’ve barely ever even gotten close to my maintenance, i never thought i’d go over it again. but i binged for the first time in so long. and that’s the thing, i catapulted straight from BED into orthorexia during late june. i’ve been wanting so badly to pretend that my BED died when my orthorexia was born. like i could just pluck my ED flower & plant a nice new one. but they both coexist inside me. they’ve grown and intertwined into something even stronger and more powerful than before. i can’t stop thinking about the binge. i saw another post today that said “how did it feel the last time you binged?” this post was designed to make you regret it but the first word i thought of was “incredible”. obviously shitty as fuck the day after, but the day of, the first time i looked around my kitchen without measuring every single atom of food that went into me, without diligently thinking about the calories and every macronutrient inside of what i was consuming and i was just eating more and more, it felt rlly good. i hate that it felt good. i fucking hate BED. i know all EDs are terrible but that’s the thing like @tired-soles said, the only thing that can pull me out of my ED (orthorexia) is depression (binging) and the only thing that will pull me out of my depression is my ED. so if i want to stop binging i need to start restricting and obsessing again. fuck. on the day i binged, part of my binge was eating an entire medium popcorn (like 14 fucking cups) at the movies. the next day my perfect gf (who’s 2 inches taller and 15-30 pounds lighter than me) said she felt shitty about eating a kitkat at the movies. and she didn’t even eat the whole thing. (she said it to someone else but i heard her.) she also told me “i love you in that shirt” and “i’ve been wanting to kiss you all day” when i wore really tight and tiny clothes earlier this week before i binged so it’s like i get it! i need to be smaller! and i truly know in my heart that she doesn’t mean to imply that but everything she does makes me want to restrict to the max. & the stress of wanting to be perfect for her makes me want to binge. which is weird bc there’s been so many other stressful things that have happened to me during the last 4 months. things that haven’t made me want to binge. i think it’s because she’s so damn important to me. she’s my favorite human, period. the person i depend the most on in this beautiful beach town i moved into 5 weeks ago, by far. i just want to give her a smaller waist to throw her arm around. a body that’s easier to pick up & pull close. i want to look like those girls on instagram with the photos she’s always so quick to double tap, the ones of them in bikinis effortlessly displaying their muscles & hip bones. i haven’t lost any weight in 9 days. instead, i gained 2.5 fucking lbs. & it feels like complete shit, & gaining weight makes me want to binge even more.

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abrunettefangirlnerd · 4 years ago

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Insecure

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Oneshot

Summary: feeling insecure about your looks, Steve helps you to see what he sees.

You put away the last bit of the laundry. Life has been crazy this whole last week. The guys have been on mission after mission, meanwhile the aching pain in your side hasn’t subsided. Bruce, not to your delight, thinks you shouldn’t even be training. But you would go completely stir crazy laying in bed or on the couch all day.

What the boys know won’t hurt them. Besides, you want to try to stay in shape. Anytime you are under bed rest, you feel like your muscles turn to mush and your totally body fat sky rockets. Being insecure your whole life about your looks, you finally started to feel comfortable with all the cardio and weightlifting.

Especially around your friends from before becoming an Avenger. They all know you are a part of the team, your costume doesn’t exactly hide your identity. Neither did the fact that you blew up a baseball with your bare hands in college because it scared you. At a game the batter hit the ball into the crowd, it was coming for you, you threw your hands up in defense but never felt the ball hit your skin. Instead the ball fell to the ground in the small pieces that were left.

Fury found you shortly after. Explained to you that there are others, a team, a family that you could be a part of. You accepted the offer and never looked back. For once you felt like you belonged, but every once in a while some of your insecurities come flooding back.

“Hey gorgeous,” Steve’s deep voice creeps around your door frame. Joining your curled up body on your bed, Steve brushes your free hair behind your ear. “I have a surprise for you. I know you’ve been cooped up in this building for two weeks, so I brought your two friends from home.”

“Really?” You slowly sit up, griping your side. It feels like forever since you’ve seen them, and you’ve missed them desperately.

Steve nods his head with a smile. And before you know it, you leave Steve to smell the burning rubber from your rapid departure. Running through the pain, you make it to the corridor to see your long-term friends standing in awestruck wonder at the architecture.

“Oh my god! Christi! Abby!” You manage to apply your breaks just in time to keep from barreling the girls to the floor. Collecting your composure, you wrap each in an arm and offer a big group hug.

“Safe to say you like your surprise?” Steve appears by the stairs with a smug smirk.

Letting go of your girls, you race back toward Steve. Leaping into his arms, the pain doesn’t present itself until Steve’s arms securely wrap around you. Steve gets in a spin or two before putting you down. Kissing your temple, Steve apologizes for hurting you but you just shrug it off.

The girls and you end up in the art studio down the hall from your room. The movie Book Club plays in the background as the three of you attempt to paint while drinking your glasses of wine. Christi wants to know everything about the male Avengers. She is on the market for a boyfriend, and thinks a superhero will be a perfect match. However, Abby just wants to know about you and Steve.

“You two ARE dating right?” Abby takes a sip of her wine and wiggles the brows.

“We haven’t really put a title on it yet,” you can feel the warmth from the wine spread to your face. “We are definitely more than friends, but he has been so busy lately. Maybe once I’m back on the field we can talk about it.”

The girls tell you how impressed they were that Steve came to get them. They assumed when he got back from missions, the two of you would be inseparable. Honestly, they aren’t wrong but you also get your fair shared time with the others on the team. But that’s Steve, he is very big on personal space. It’s something you are very thankful for. Even though the two of you aren’t officially together it is easy to get lost in someone else and forget the world around you.

After painting, you move into the movie room. It is getting late, and you all are getting fairly tired. Sitting on the couch your gaze wanders to your thighs. In your peripheral you see the thin outline of your own friend’s thighs and notice how drastic the change is. You pretend not to notice the difference in body types between you and your friends.

Suddenly all insecurities from college and high school come flooding back. The fact that you were admiring your own body in the mirror just hours ago escapes you. Any feeling of accomplishment from your workouts, training, missions no longer exists. Not next to Christi and Abby.

You know it’s not their fault, and you’re not bitter toward them whatsoever. Christi eats a lot of junk but just so happens to be gifted with the perfect metabolism gene. Abby just does her own thing, no workouts and no dieting, but it works for her. You have always had more fat to you. Before becoming an Avenger, home workouts never did a thing and changing your diet did nothing as well. Since being here you have lost 20 lbs but you are still 10 – 15 lbs heavier than your friends next to you.

Agreeing on a childhood favorite, you grab a blanket and curl up in a ball. The more coverage you provide the greater the lie you can tell yourself of what lies beneath. The girls follow suit and the three of you talk and make comments about the movie until the three of you pass out.

Only a few hours later your body atomically wake up around 7:00 am. No matter the time you fall asleep, or the quality of sleep, your body always has a habit of waking you up early in the morning. The only other person in this building that I normally awake at this time is Steve. Though, after the rest he probably needed after the mission he is most likely still in bed.

You crawl off the couch carefully trying not to wake the girls. A searing pain ripples through your right side to your leg. Biting your lip helps keep your internal scream from moving up your throat. Shimmying the rest of the way out of the room, you head towards the locker room to start training.

“What do you think you are doing?” His surprisingly stern voice echoes through the training room as soon as you enter.

“STEVE! Seriously, one day you are going to give me a heart attack.”

Ignoring Steve’s original question, you make your way to the punching bag. You feel the need to build up your strength in your left arm. Perhaps if you get your strength back up the rest of the team may be convinced to let you back on the field early.

Hearing your fist hit leather, the sounds doesn’t over power the feeling of you skin shift. My body is ultimately made up of fat! I’m not even muscle, just fat and bone! Tears sting behind your eyes as the comments of from arrogant assholes from your past echo with each punch.

She’s easier to aim for, (Y/N)’s bigger than the others!

(Y/N) is a nice friend. I know she likes me, but you look more like my type.

As each voice filters through your ears each punch against the bag gets harder and harder. The sound radiates through the training center. Completely in a trance, you don’t notice Steve’s gaze on you as he approaches closer. Right before he gets too close you realize your leg muscles need a workout as well, and you take off towards the track.

“(Y/N)!” Steve shouts but the pain in your side is all you can focus on.

Wheezing, your arm wraps around your right side in attempt to console it. The pain radiates down the side of your body toward your leg once again. With each step you start to feel like jello.

The sound of your body hitting the ground registers before the additional pain does. Dazed and confused how you got there, you feel a presence next to you. They place both their hands on each side of your face and examine for any blood. You’d swat them away if it wasn’t for the sudden want of physical touch.

“Steve, do you think you’d prefer if I was skinnier?” Sleepiness invades your senses.

“What are you talking about?”

You don’t say anything else as Steve scoops you in his arms. All you do is point to your thighs and the little pudge on your stomach. Steve says nothing as he carries you to your room. All he does is place a soft kiss to the side of your head before laying you down on your bed covers.

“Where is this coming from?” Steve inquires, but you only shrug your shoulders. The both of you know that you do. Steve doesn’t press though, which you are thankful for.

“(Y/N), you’re brilliant. If it wasn’t for Stark or Banner you would easily be the smartest person I’ve ever known.” He soothingly brushes his fingers up and down your arms, luring you to sleep. “Outstandingly stunning. Though if we must talk specifically your body?”

Steve delays by gently pulling your body onto his. Resuming the touch of his fingers against your arm, you wait for him to continue. The butterflies in your stomach ache as much as your injury pain. Assuming the worst, you’re not sure if you really want to know or not.

“I assume this trip of insecurity is due to your friends being here.” No offensiveness rises within you. You’ve told Steve about this before. “No, you’re not as thin as them. But they’re not as fit as you are. I know you hate your thighs the most, but doll trust me they are mostly hard muscle. Of which I find way more attractive than being super skinny, but unable to effectively fight.”

“I’m sorry-,” you start before Steve cuts you off with a kiss.

“You don’t need to be sorry. I get it, and I love you.” And this time you kiss him.

Tags: @mrs-captain-evans @crowleys-squirrel @princess-evans-addict

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justanotheronechicagofan · 4 years ago

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Previous Chapter

7. The thing that works

series summary - Will the Halstead brothers be able to reconnect with their sister after 5 years? chapter summary - a worried Hailey visits Jay and finds out more about Madeline Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton TW - Mentions of parental death and missing persons investigation

series masterlist | main masterlist

Several loud knocks on Jay’s door jerked him from his stillness.

His phone screen flashed back at him - 22:38 and multiple texts from his partner.

💬 Hailey :) [23 minutes ago] I'm gonna take your lack of response as a no - I'm coming over

💬 Hailey :) [48 minutes ago] You okay?

💬 Hailey :) [1hr ago] Wanna grab a beer? I’ll buy ... :)

Shit - Considering he doesn’t even know where the past hour is gone, he really isn’t in the mood to see people. Especially people that he can’t hide from. Rubbing his face, he quickly made his way to the door. Before he even has the chance to tell her that he’s fine, his partner makes her way into the apartment, his favourite 6pack in tow.

“Hails-” “Nope. I get you wanna be alone but that’s just not gonna happen” she says, already putting the beers in the fridge. Knowing he’s already lost this, he sighs and goes to grab the glasses. When he turns, he can’t help but smile seeing her struggling to reach for the whisky. “I got it,” he said, swiftly grabbing it. “Why’d you put it so high?” she huffs. “Because, someone had a little too much and kept fighting me for more last time, remember?” he patronised with a smile on his face as he poured. He’ll never admit it but there’s a little part of him that left it there because he finds it cute. She gives him a look but a second later, her eyes crinkle. “Still had that hangover though” laughing in the brightest way. He chuckled and they clinked their glasses together before falling into a comfortable silence.

They stand around the counter slowly sipping and although there’s a part of Hailey that wants to know, she decides to just join him in the quiet. After a while he reveals, “That girl from yesterday. She’s my sister” She suspected it but it still takes her back. Reigning in the questions popping up in her mind, she just asks “What’s her name?” “Maddie. Madeline Grace” Jay said with a small smile. “That’s pretty. It suits her” she said. “Yeah it does. Mom had it picked out way before she knew she was having a girl” Hailey notices how this is the first time in weeks she’s seen him genuinely smile. “Oh wow. Prepared lady.” “Hell no. We were both in high school when Maddie was born - Will was a senior!” Jay laughed. “Total surprise after Mom and Dad went to the cabin for their wedding anniversary.” “Well, that cabin does have views,” she said, remembering when Jay invited Intelligence to Wisconsin in the Summer. “Yeah. Mom was thrilled. I mean she loved us but I think she always wanted a girl. And man did Maddie have all of us wrapped around her finger, even Dad” Hailey chuckled as the image of a teenage Will and Jay trying to win the affection of a newborn popped in her head. “What?” Jay smiled holding her gaze. “Just trying to imagine how that went down,” she amused. “Oh it's exactly like you imagine it. Gets funnier when she got into fairies” “Did you join in?” she asked, holding back the laughter even though she knew the answer would be yes. “Course I did Hails. Tea parties, playing house, being her horse, serious business.” he listed schooling his face before joining Hailey who was bursting. “Seriously though, younger me would have loved that” Hailey said once they calmed down. “Yeah?” “Mhh. I was more into princesses than fairies but my 12 and 9 year old brothers weren’t as keen. They were good when I wanted to join in playing cops though so guess that came in handy” she joked. “I guess it did,” Jay smiled, imagining a little Hailey running around. “C’mon what do you wanna ask me?” he said when he saw her debating something in her head. “Uh- The tv the other night. I looked it up and that film- I mean, was she always into acting?” “Mmm. Was a surprise to me too. I haven’t asked her about it yet but I guess she always did liked to perform” “Perform?” she said, cocking her head. “Yeah. She’s loved ballet ever since Mom first took her - I think she was like 3 or something. Told me today that she’s training to be one” he replied, proud. “Really? Jay! That’s amazing!” “Yeah. I’m so proud of her. I mean, Will and I always knew she would” he beamed. “You have any photos?” Hailey asked, relieved seeing Jay this happy.

He came back from the bedroom moments later and handed her a purple file folder decorated around the edge with gem stickers. She first picked up the stack of pictures and as she looked through them, the red haired girl in beautiful costumes grew before her, perfectly poised and always smiling widely at the camera. “Man, you Halstead’s don’t like to go half way with doing things do you?” Hailey joked, perusing through the several clippings of local papers, the word ‘places’ and ‘wins’ jumping out at her in almost every headline. When she got to the last one, she paused at the date.

_______________________________________________________________________ Carlisle ballerina wins first place in Youth America Grand Prix | 14 January 2013 Madeline Halstead of Carlisle took first place in the junior classical division of the Youth America Grand Prix Regional Semi-Finals held in Pennsylvania this past weekend. The 13 year old who has trained at the Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet since the age of 7, performed three variations in front of 5 judges and a full audience. Although the Youth Grand Prix is considered to be the world’s largest ballet competition, this was not the first time Madeline captured a win. Miss Halstead first received gold when she was just 10 years old, going on to place in the top 12 in her category every year at the Philadelphia Semi Finals. The spotlight is on for Madeline as she prepares ahead for the NY Finals in April where she placed third in the same category last year. _______________________________________________________________________

She furrowed her eyebrows as she flicked back through the articles - the earlier ones were mostly about holiday productions held in local schools but there was at least one for every year starting from 2006. Where were the others? “That’s the last one,” Jay said, reading her thoughts. She looked back at him confused, but that’s 5 years ago. He meets her with the same indescribable expression she had witnessed that night at Mollys. Jay bore into her as if he was analyzing her trust, then finally placed a file she didn’t catch the first time round in front of her. She tensed as she instantly recognised the front. A case file.

_______________________________________________________________________

Carlisle P.D. - Missing Juvenile Report Name: Madeline Grace Halstead Age:14. Female. White. 5'4", 93 lbs. Red hair, long. Last seen: Exiting ballet studio at 21:32 on 6/03/2013 walking towards North Street. Reported: 20:36 on 7/03/2013 Reported by: Robert Louis Davis, MD _______________________________________________________________________

Her breath hitched as she read the first few lines of the report. She looked back at him when she got to the reported time. Why did it take that long to report? Who is Robert? He’s a doctor? And where even is Carlisle?

Hailey watched as Jay downed his drink and slowly began.

“When Mom died- She uh went to go live with our aunt in Pennsylvania- cause none of us really could be with Maddie. Me n Mouse, we’d just got back, Dad was drinking and - I mean Will didn’t even come back for the funeral.” Hailey noticed the tinge of blame that was there. A smile touched his eyes as he continued, “But Mads loved it in Carlisle. Mamie, our aunt was Mom’s best friend and um she never had kids but she used to come over all the time and she helped us out a lot when Mom got sick. Mads and Mamie, they’d always call or send pictures and me n Mouse would go whenever we could. Mamie and Rob, they really helped me and Mouse out that first year cause- we were just- ”

Hailey recognised that look in Jay as he trailed off. She always saw it creep up no matter how hard he tried to hide it. She didn’t know where to take this but she figured that him giving her the case file was his way of an invitation. She asked gently, wanting to bring him back. “Jay. She was walking home?”

Jay slightly shook, bringing himself back and continued, “Maddie always biked or walked there cause it’s like a 15 minute walk and the towns small, safe. Tree lined streets, I mean the actual studios in a college.”

“And Robert? He didn’t realise?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t even look at him because of it then. But I can’t blame the guy - he got home that night at 2am and then slept cause he’d worked 18 hours. The school didn’t call him and Mamie didn’t pick up when the studio called cause she was out of town. Mads usually went straight there from school so he didn’t even know. Only found out when he went to pick her up. They tried but by the time it got reported it was-”

“Nearly 24 hours gone” Hailey thought aloud.

“Yeah. Didn’t have anything to work with. The footage of her leaving the studio was the last thing, she didn’t show up on any eyes after. Just disappeared. They put out AMBER alerts and reached out to Chicago and New York cause that’s where me and Will were. They thought maybe she ran away but-”

“She would have shown up on footage” Hailey finished the sentence.

“Yeah.” Jay breathed out, looking down the empty glass. “That and we knew her. She was so excited for the Finals in NY. Case never closed but after a while -” he shaked his head. Hailey watched his body clench as resentment smouldered his features “Not even a year after, Dad started speaking like she was dead. Like she was with Mom. Haven’t talked to him since” Hailey then witnessed the slight, almost imperceptible change in him, but couldn’t quite place it. He inhaled shakily then breathed out,

“Thing is -”

“I thought she was dead too”

It made sense to Hailey now. How her partner always seemed to find the cases involving kids the hardest. How he always went beyond helping out families who lost theirs. She wondered if maybe that’s why he joined Intelligence. If maybe in those late nights he stayed even when all the paperwork was done, he was searching for her. And that look she’d seen that night at Mollys. She could name it now. It was a look she would never be able to fully understand. And as his escaping tears crumbled the wall away, she moved silently and held him.

She was going to stay with him tonight.

💙✨🦋✨💙

Next Chapter

A/N - The characters belong to Dick Wolf and are from the One Chicago universe he created. A longer chapter featuring Hailey and Jay. This was really difficult for me to write so I hope it turned out okay. Thank you so much to those that are coming along on this story with me :)

#upstead #chicago pd #jay halstead #hailey upton #tw: parental death #tw: missing persons investigation

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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immj2 02.11.20 lb

this fucking episode my dudes. i just went through it like...

business maharani is doing some more bitchification of bhaabi, ki dekho phir nikal gayi aapke peeche. even used the same lameass mandir excuse, the idiot, instead of coming up with something new.

hubs like riddhima is a major pain in the ass, but she's MY PAIN IN THE ASS, where isss sheeee, why isn't she back yet???????? is she ok????????????

ishani getting a call about someone in the hospital and......

bitch, it's her friend who's in the hospital. why the fuck would anyone call ISHANI of all people if riddhima was in the hospital????

lo aa gayi.

gujarat registration gaadi waale bhaiyya was a careful driver. unlike literally everyone else on tellywood. good for him.

concern!maxxxxxxxxxxx about her haalat.

asks about her bleeding hand and she's like i'll tell you if you tell me about how YOUR hand got hurt. noice.

again, rrahul's not putting on the vansh voice in this scene and it's 300% more watchable. for the love of god stop directing him in a way that impedes his performance!!!!!!! LET THE MAN MOVE HIS FACE AND TALK IN HIS NORMAL VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!

cliche dialogue about “shareer ke ghaav jaldi bhar jaate hain par dil ke ghaav..........”

this asshole is like yeah who would know that better than me???? BITCH WHAT IS THIS, THE TRAUMA OLYMPICS???

she's thinking ki yeah, i'm not gonna fall for your fakeass parwaah anymore. good. i like. she needed this stupidass illusion of her's broken longggggggggg back.

ohohohohoho ib waala mangalsutra breaking and slipping off trope idhar bhi hai.

“tooti hui cheezein kabhi kabhi dobara nahi judti.”

dialogue maarke chali gayi, lol.

but notice she's the one who caught it anyway. which makes me think she's gonna choose him/this relationship YET AGAIN. *deeeeeeeepest sigh in the world that sucks up all the oxygen in the atmosphere*

“jaise mera dil.”

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH.

“lekin ab waqt aa gaya hai bohut se cheezon ko sahi karne ka.”

again, he looks menacing and all, but is probably just talking about making sure all the paperwork is up to date for upcoming end of year audits. he's a very rich accountant, remember???

ragini's medical reports have come.

lol being married to ishani is taking yearssssssss off angre's lifespan. roz naya tension, naya drama.

also, angre refers to vansh as "vansh bhai" when talking about him to ishani, but calls him "boss" when referring directly. interesting. veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy interesting. you guys need to sort out that relationship, my dudes. it's the only stable, healthy one in this whole damn show.

ishani is like you're his right hand, what the hell are you doing about riddhima spying on him and getting all up in his business???????? dang, this might be the first conversation they're having about their only common interest: vansh's well being.

also i notice ki shivaay ke saare shirts angre ko diye gaye hain. huh, the shirts must have a kanji eyed wearer clause in their contract.

“mujhe shakti dijiye ke main apne emotions se upar uthke sahi ke saath khadi rahoon.”

damn, first time i've had a lil respect for riddhima. i mean, i know ultimately it's all gonna go to shit, but she's trying.

lmao a dhaarmik aarti version of the title track is playing. a version for every situation!

“main ragini ko bacha ke rahoongi. yeh mera aapse, ragini se, aur apne aap se vaada hai.”

YESSSSSSSSSSS BITCH, SISTERS OVER MURDEROUS MISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG WHY WON'T Y'ALL JUST DRESS HIM LIKE THIS, LIKE ARNAV, WITH THE SHIRT AND SWEATER COMBOOOOOOOOOOOOO. PLS GODDDDDDDDDDDD STOP DRESSING HIM WITH THAT STUPID SCARF WAALA BLAZERRRRRRRRRRRRR I BEG OF YOUUUUUUUUUU

he's talking to some shadow (def a woman) about how they're his humraaz about the whole ragini issue and nothing is hidden from them and how everything is going as they planned and the story will end soon.

it might be siya but omg i hope to goddddddddddddd it's ishani. i really really reallly want it to be ishani and see the hot demon siblings do some scheming and planning together. the sibs that conspire together, stay together!!!!!!!!!

menacing growling about riddhima and how he needs shadow chick's help in "handling" her, so that she doesn’t leave the house.

“chaahe VR mansion uske liye jail bann jaaye, i don't care.” cool, real healthy. also copied from this week's naagin 5. i'm telling you, these two shows be copying their homework off each other.

vansh leaning real hard on how he trusting shadow chick. hmmmm. reallyyyy hope it's ishani. though can’t say i wouldn’t be delighted if siya also turns out to be just as fucking twisted as him.

ofc ms. snoopy here has come to snoop. SIS TUM THAK NAHI JAATI KYA ISS SAB SE. MUJHE TOH DEKHTE HI THAKAAN HO GAYI HAI AND I NEEDS ME SOME GLUCON D.

“ragini riddhima se jeete-jee milna toh door, usse dekh bhi na sake.”

uh a little too late for that my man, lol. your girls already had a catchup session this afternoon. they're going for brunch and manis next weekend!

oh ho, she knows that angre's gone out. so this is def someone else in the house. DAMN, I'M REALLY INVESTED IN THIS SHADOW NOW.

yaaar, kya haalat bana rakhi hai shivaay ke room ki. best room hota tha iss set ka, aur isko bas ek random space banaa rakha hai.

ASLKFJSLDKJFLSDKJFLDKSF

this fucker crazyyyyy. like fulllll on flipping cray cray!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow ok he's shaking from rage. more unhinged than i've ever seen him. which is really something. something scary as fuckkkkkkkk.

kudos to riddhima for just being like same old, same old, instead of being scared. i'm really liking i-give-no-fucks-riddhima.

DUDE. THIS FUCKER HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT.

also knife play copied from shivaay. this dude like a much much worse version of shivaay. never thought that would be possible, but never say never with ITV and the year 2020.

ok i don't like this angry version of him that's outta control, all shaking and growling and panting. not only is it really bad acting, it's hard to take seriously as menacing. ppl are always scarier when they're ice fucking cool with their anger.

blah blah blah some more growled warnings and riddhima and i are just here like............. “ok and????”

she's not even allowed to leave the room.

oooooh brave sis questioning him back and provokingggggggggg himmmmmmmmmm. got a death wish, this one, but i like her like this. i was sick of her just collapsing all over the place weeping. thaaaaaank god she found her longlost backbone.

“tum jaise haiwaan ki baat kabhi nahi maanungi.”

sarcastic slow clapping and slightly turned on by this show of dheentness.

“chalo aaj tumhari bahaaduri ko celebrate karte hain.”

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

“piyo, zeher nahi milaaya hai ismein.”

OK NOW THAT YOU SAID THAT I'M DEFINITELY THINKING THAT YOU HAVE.

omg ridhhimaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you idiottttttt.

ok he's def put something in it. his face almost looking pitying as he takes the glass back.

“jaao. jahaan jaana hai jaao. nahi rokunga tumhe.”

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

dslkfjsdlfkjdslkfjdslkjflkd her legs don't work no moreeeeeeeee.

THIS FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. JESUS CHRIST THIS CRAZY ASS FUCKING D;SLFKJ;SLDKFJ;LDSKJF;LDKJ

EVEN THE CHANNEL PUTTING BIG BOLD DISCLAIMER OVER THE SCENE LIKE THIS SHIT IS SERIOUSLY UNHINGED AND FICTIONAL THE CHANNEL ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CONDONE THIS FUCKING MADNESSSSSSSSS

I CANNOT STOP SCREAMING THIS FUCKERRRRRRR IS OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS THIS THIS SHIT IS MAKING 4 LIONS MEN LOOK LIKE SOFT CUDDLY LIL SOFTBOIS I AM LITERALLY GOING OUTTA MY MIND WITH RAGE AND ANGUISH WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i need a break. i seriously need a break to go cuddle my cat coz my god this deranged fucking showwwwwwwwwww.

ok cuddle break done. i’m not feeling any better but at least the tears of blood have stopped flowing from my eyes?

all i gots to say at this point is that CHEELANSHU SINGHANIA FROM NAAGIN 5 WOULD NEVER DO THIS. ONCE AGAIN SANKIIII CHEEL BOY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> HUMAN MEN.

“haiwaan hoon main. rakshas hoon. aur rakshas kuch bhi kar sakta hai.”

electric chair for you, dude. ELECTRIC FUCKING CHAIR, GREEN MILE STYLE.

he literally gave her a paralytic.

“isse ek luxury relaxing spa treatment ki tarah enjoy karna.”

OMG I WISH I HAD SOMEONE MAKE ME SLIP INTO A PARALYTIC COMAAAAAAAAAA WHAT ELSE COULD A GIRL WANT FROM PRINCE CHARMING UWU TRUE WUVVVVVVVVV

omg inn paplu taplu ka chip waala naatak abhi bhi chal raha hai BIGGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN THE HOUSE YOU IDIOTS KEEP THE FUCK UP LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SADAA HUA MEMORY CARD ANYMOREEEEEEEEEE

anyway they decide to put it in the bank locker. omg why though, under the mattress was suchhhhhhh a safe and secure spot!!! badal kyun rahe ho tum log?!?!?!!?!?

“good morning.”

sis, lower half is paralysed. haath abhi bhi kaam kar rahein haina??? PICK UP WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON AND HURL IT AT HIS FUCKING HEADDDDDDDDDDD

“don't worry, bas kuch der ki baat hai. uske baad tum apne pairon pe khadi ho sakti ho. main tumhari help kar deta hoon.”

TELLL HIM SIS. TELL HIM TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME WITHIN A 3 DISTRICT RADIUS OF YOU.

“phir se zidd. tumhara naam riddhima nahi, ziddhima hona chahiye tha.”

ok can't deny i lol'd at that.

OK NO BACK TO HATING HIM. PUNS WILL GET YOU NOWHERE WITH ME, YOU BLOODY PSYCHOPATH.

“abhi toh bas ek chota dose diya hai jiska asar sirf 10 ghante rehta hai.”

oh how sweet. such a considerate husband. Star Parivaar Pati of The Year you are. haan behen, aur rakho aise pati ke liye karwachauth.

“agar baat nahi maaani, toh agla dose double hoga.”

seriously though, where can i get one of these? all i want is to be put in a coma so that i don't have to be conscious anymore. esp with the USA election today............ give me a 5x dose, daddy.

YEAH RIGHT LIKE SHE'S EVER GONNA CONSUME ANYTHING YOU OFFER HER EVER AGAIN LOL

“tum chaahe kitni bhi koshish karlo vansh, main tumhe ragini ko nuksaan pohunchaane nahi dungi.”

determination toh behen ka top classssssssssssss hai. where do ppl get such mental will from? i face the slightest inconvenience and i need a 6 hour nap to cope.

LMAO VANSH YOU DUMBASS YOU LEFT HER WITH HER PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. YOU KNOW SHE'S A SPY AND HAS SOMEONE ON THE OUTSIDE. YOU WANTED HER NOT TO GET TO RAGINI BUT NOW SHE CAN JUST CALL WHOEVER SHE’S WORKING WITH TO GET RAGINI THE HELP. GOD, BEWAKOOFON KI TOLI HAI YEH SHOWWWWWWWW.

ab yaad aayi kabir ki. my god, he seems like such a mellow weirdo now compared to vansh, just into some casual costume-changing and quasi fratricide. almost a tolerable level of deranged compared to this other fucking madman.

sent a voice note to him.

SHE HEARD SOMEONE COMING AND FLUNG THE PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM INTO A PILE OF CLOTHES. OH HO WHYYYYYYYYYYYY, YOU COULD HAVE LITERALLY JUST HID IT BACK UNDER THE PILLOWS WHERE YOU FOUND IT!?!?!??!?!?!?

“hi riddhima! tumhe iss haal mein dekh kar, dil ko bohut sukoon mil raha hai.”

asldkfsjflkjdslfkjdl i honestly love her the most. she's so fucking petty and hilarious.

ishani is like thank god bhai has seen fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally seen your real face.

“sirf vansh ne hi nahi, inn sab mein maine bhi vansh ka asli chehra dekh liya hai.”

“kya matlab hai tumhara?!?!!”

ok, i'm thinking ishani is shadow girl. from day 1, she’s wanted riddhima to see vansh in a certain way; as someone dangerous, the way he projects himself. (as opposed to dadi and siya who want her to see his soft side.) this statement from riddhima makes her wary that did she get close to the actual truth. INTERESTING. VERYYYYYYYYY INTERESTINGGGGG.

she's now grumbling about how vansh treats her much better than she actually deserves. I REALLY WANT MORE INSIGHT INTO THIS BROTHER SISTER RELATIONSHIP THEY HAVE IT'S SO INTRIGUINGGGGGGGG

le, kapde chale gaye laundry. phone ke saath.

———————————————————————

precap: kabir listened to the voice note and now him and mummy are in panic about ragini disclosing the truth about 3 years ago. RE DEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. OFC THESE TWO WERE INVOLVED IN THAT KAAND TOO. LITERALLY EVERY ONE IN THIS SHOW IS A DERANGED MENACE TO SOCIETY.

kabir coming to meet riddhima.

but ofc.

ugh she turned back saying “K.........” and he's like there's literally no one in this house whose name starts with K.

*facepalms for allllll eternity till my godforsaken face itself falls off.*

i think i’ll go watch s2 of mirzapur now. i need something ~~~light and fluffffffffffy~~~ to take my mind off whatever the FUCK this was.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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red-radish14 · 4 years ago

Text

How To Get Away With Murder

Authors Note:

No real-life acts were committed to persuading me to write this story, it is all fictional and written off the top of my head, no mental or physical attributes were caused to have premeditated planning on this, this felt like a very interesting story to write, there is graphic detail in this story if sensitive please do not read.

If you or someone you know is/are thinking about committing an act of violence upon you or others please call 911 and get help immediately!! They will be able to find the right resources and betterments for you!!

Thanks and reviews are always appreciated!! :)

Word Count: 2.2k

Average Life for an average girl:

December 31st, 1979

7:01pm

Hi, I'm Blaire, Blaire Helms, thinking that no one is going to read any of this I have made a resolution to start journaling my life. Even if no one ever saw this, it would be nice to look back and read what I had in mind for the years to come. Let me start out with who I am. I'm a 17-year-old girl from Topeka Kansas, I live with my mother and twin brothers in an apartment downtown. My brothers, Jack and Elliot, are star players on the high school football team. And well, my mother, she is a waiter at the cafe on the main street. We don't have much here at home, and having to scrounge for money to buy a $15 journal had been a struggle for the past few weeks. Me on the other hand, I'm 5'6" with long brown hair and big green eyes. School before winter break was tough, I get bullied a lot, and making friends is a bit of a challenge for me. My brothers don't make it any easier for me either, they sometimes even send random classmates to come to bully me in the smoking pit. Yeah yeah, I know, before you get all Nabby about me smoking I know that it's bad for you, but, I'm 17 how bad could it get. Being a junior in high school isn't all that rough though. I'm an average C student with average teen life. To end on a good note, I finally had enough money saved for the dance on the 13th. Well, it is a welcome back dance for all the kids who passed 1st semester. I just hope no trouble endured like last year, having my head dumped into the punch bowl was not pleasant. Expect more from me in the future. Until then.

-Blaire Helm

7:56pm

Smoking Pit Disaster:

January 7th, 1980

5:23pm

Today was hell, when I woke up my brother Elliot had clogged the toilet and flooded the whole bathroom, and just left it there, I was always the last one to leave the house and there was no time to clean it up. I had to get ready at school, about 15 minutes later and once I had left the restroom it was straight to the smoking pit to skip 1st period. There were always a few girls down there and they weren't very talkative, they always just sat and smoked for the whole hour, no breaks in between. As I was smoking you literally won't believe who came down to bother me, Mason Palmer. Mason was the hottest guy in school, he was also the biggest jerk of the school. He was famously popular among anyone in the city and always had a few remarks in his sleeve. after a few minutes of smoking and getting paper balls profusely thrown at me, Mason had jumped down into the pit and proceeded to taunt me. After the taunting, he had kicked my side causing me to drop my cigarette onto my leg. He then left laughing at his buddies. About 30 minutes after the beating I had left to go to 2nd period. Walking through the hallway trying to cover the burn hole in my jeans, I ran into Mason. He had grabbed my backpack and threw it at one of his buddies that had taken off with the bag. He then pushed me down and walked away, leaving me with no supplies, and I had returned to the smoking pit for the remainder of the day. Hopefully, this week would get better before the dance on the 13th. If it doesn't, I'll just have to stay home. But, until next time.

6:17pm

- Blaire Helm

Sam's Club Shopping Spree:

January 11th, 1980

9:12pm

Today I had to go shopping for bulk food supplies at Sam's Club. It was the cheapest place where we could go to buy a lot of items for less money. It was only the 2nd time I had to go shopping there and I was bored out of my mind. As I was shopping today I picked up the usual items we needed. Macaroni, ramen, chips and lots more. In the back of my mind somewhere I needed to get some cleaning supplies, I don't know why but I bought some anyway. a 4 pack of bleach bottles, 16-pack sponges, 2 3-gallon mop buckets, 8 pack of paper towels, and some sterile gloves. I felt like I needed to clean the whole house. After I was done shopping I decided to stop by Walgreens to pick up some pain killers for my back, it's been so horrible lately, they'll knock me out in a second if I'm not careful. Once I got home, I left the cleaning supplies in my car until I needed them and brought the other groceries inside. Being usual teenage boys my brothers decided to help none and pretend to be each other for a day, I guess it's a normal thing identical twins decide to do. Oh, and about Mason, he hasn't shown up to school for the past 2 days because he's been too busy suit shopping for the dance. This isn't prom, I guess he's wanting to fuck some chick in the back while everyone else is sipping on watered-down punch. Well, I'll let you guys know how the dance goes, all I'm wearing is a hand-me-down loose tee with some black jeans. Wish me luck.

10:02pm

- Blaire Helm

Till Death Do Us Part:

January 13th, 1980

5:43 am

Guys, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere right now. Why is this happening, this can't be happening? It started with the stupid fucking dance. I walked into the gym, grabbed my punch, and boom Mason was right there, he had poured his punch all over me and pushed me causing me to slip and fall hitting my head. I had gotten up asking him what he wanted from me. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the side of the bleachers. He had pinned me against the wall and told me I had to do whatever he wanted me to do. I had agreed and asked him if I could run out to my car to get dried, he agreed and after some time I was back into the gym. Mason had gotten a new cup of punch and came over to dance. I had played around and danced along with him. Mason left to go pee after some dancing and asked me to hold his cup. While Mason was gone, I had grabbed some of those painkillers from the car and slipped some into his drink. Mason had returned and started drinking his punch, fast, like he was dying of dehydration. He started falling asleep so, I asked him if he wanted to go to the storage closet to have some fun. He had followed me in there, pinned me down, and I stabbed him. I had must've stabbed him 100 times, blood was everywhere. I panicked, I had shut off the lights and locked the door. It must've been hours but no one looked for us, once the last person left the school I knew what I needed to do with Mason. I had dragged his body out to my car and laid him in the backseat on top of my wet clothes, all of his blood had drained out onto the floor of the gym. I had grabbed the cleaning supplies I bought from Costco earlier and cleaned. it must've taken me an hour. I had grabbed all the trash and stuffed it into the back of my car. The closet was as clean as it was before the murder. And now I'm out here in the middle of fucking Kansas, 125 miles from where I live. Now, what do I fucking do?

7:24 am

- Blaire Helm

Pitched Out:

January 14th, 1980

3:36 pm

I had decided I needed to do something with this body or it was going to rot in my car minute by minute. I had stopped at a gas station to pick up 30 lbs of raw meat and some new clothes without being questioned and afterward, I had gone a bit off-roading miles away from the road and found a place to park and deal with it. My mother loved to Garden and so happens the day before she had left most of her gardening stuff in the car, so I got to digging. I had created dirt stairs and dug 12ft down. I had stripped Mason down to his skin and set his clothes aside. I had placed him into the hole. I covered him up with about 6 ft of dirt, and placed the raw rotting meat above, covering it with the remaining dirt, patted it out, and made it look natural. I had found some school papers from my car and tumbleweeds laying around to create a fire. I stripped down to my skin and proceeded to throw everything I had used to kill Mason into the fire, letting it burn. After the fire was done burning I picked up the ashes and brought them with me back to a small pond a few miles down the road. I had thrown the ashes into the pond, watching them disintegrate, and jumped in the pond myself to wash up all the blood. While I was in the pond I had realized what I've done. While drying off I burst into tears and begged God for forgiveness. Afterward, I had set myself on home, sitting here now at a gas station, only 25 miles away from my house.

4:17 pm

- Blaire Helm

The Party:

January 17th, 1980

8:57 pm

A watch party had started for Mason and I had joined along with them in search for him. I knew what I did, and I knew nobody was going to ever find him. I know that because it's a fact. The rotting meat will attract the dogs, the police dig it up and realize it's just some animal remains, and continue searching. There are no fingerprints or clothes to find because they are burnt. The ashes are dissolved into nothingness. And it's in the middle of Kansas in a desert, anyone could've done it. The school gym is cleaned like brand new, it's all planned. After the search party, I had stopped by Mason's house to see how his parents were doing. His mother and father could not stop crying. Soon I was "crying" and told them I needed to leave to get home to do some homework. I had gotten home and lost my mind, I was upset that I did such a thing. I had started laughing when realizing that I had gotten away, a murder undetected, a master plan successfully accomplished. But for how long.

9:10 pm

- Blaire Helm

Dumped Down:

April 18th, 1980

1:02 pm

It's been 3 months since I've killed Mason, the parties are over, and everyone is moving on like he was still out there missing. I knew what had happened, I've visited where I had buried him a few times since that night, It upsets me. A lot is going through my head lately. One of these days or years they are going to find him and I will be fucked, I can't live knowing I had killed a man. So sitting here in my bedroom I've come up with a plan, We are going to paint the walls, to have a fresh new start. I will load up the paintbrush and get to painting. The room is going to have small specks of red, it suits me best. But I've got to admit that I lived my life up to its fullest. Lighting up a cigarette and placed the paintbrush in the palm of my hand. I'm gonna set it down and I'll let you know how the room turns out tomorrow. I had left a note on the counter for my mother and my brothers, it's basically telling them to not come in until the paint dries, well I'll write later, Goodbye.

3:46 pm

- Blaire Helm

Roses:

Blaire Helm

Sex: F

DOB: 08/23/1963 (17)

Hgt: 5'6"

Eyes: Green

Cause of death: Suicide

DOD: 04/18/1980

We had responded to a report of a teenage suicide yesterday night, a distraught mother had dialed 911 crying about her daughter being dead. When police arrived at the scene it was in fact Blaire Helms in her small apartment bedroom. She was lying on her left side with a gunshot wound to her right side of her face, the shotgun laying behind her back and the walls dusted in blood. No one knows why Blaire had committed suicide, people usually called her sweet and caring. No suicide note was found and police are still investigating the scene of the crime.

Drug reports:

Cotinine: 45mg

Alcohol: 1.4oz

Adderall: 75mg

Tylenol: 1200mg

Subject transferred to autopsy room for opening, nothing found within the patient, the mother will soon arrive to finish the paperwork.

- M.D Green

Another Author's Note:

I really hope you guys enjoyed this story, I spent only a few hours on it so it's not professionally done, again pls call 911 if you or someone you think might consider suicide or committing a crime. Thanks again, take care

- L.L

#tw suicice #depressing post #murder #story time #like wtf

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