#and once gadreel is gone cas starts living there too

[souporsaladnatural]

ok i know dean had 347828235 different issues, but i swear to god getting to hang out with cas and charlie together on a regular basis wouldve solved at least half of them

[sounknownvoid]

All that and then dean always runs away - which ironically is what sams always accused of doing...whenever sam's in actual bad shape and desperately needs dean - hes actually never there - for all his b.s and posturing about willing to do anything for his brother..examples: s4 - sam detox 1st time: hes locked up alone and crying n sufferring calling for dean,

s6- when sam gets soul back, against consent, sam wakes up in panic room alone and goes upstairs scared as to what he'd find coz he remembers only that he beat dean to a pulp and bobby/cas are dead - how long after he woke up with soul did he just lie there and grieve before he found the strength n courage to climb up those stairs - & who was there with him to explain/comfort ?.... not dean/no one,

s7-when sam puts all his soul-pieces together n wakes up whos there for him ? - no one -> he wakes up from having hell-memories restored alone to a frkn note telling him to get someplace - & he frkn does get there n tries to save em still

....n then sam is beset by hallucifer - how much of that is caused by lack of proper care or any care at all received after such a traumatic event(experiencing 180 years worth of lives,memories,feelings from hell in 1xshot)?, while he struggles to cope he gets mocked,teased and generally ignored - no thought to lets see if we can get sammy some help...no, lets tell him to hurt himself as a way of identifying whats real

at end of s7: when sam has now got compunded trauma and has lost bobby and everything else and then sees his best friend and his brother just vanish in black goo while still dealing with mental health issues of prev years hes left completely alone, you dont think the guy just broke? - & there was no one there to pick up the pieces, start of s8- straight after deans return its straight into "lets blame sam" rather than trying to figure out for real what sam might have gone through in that year....n then s9: lets violate sam (again) for "his own good" but not an ounce of support or understanding n then when hes screaming in agony coz of having needles poked into his very brain,

Is dean there to comfort n take care? - no, he cant even stand to stay n watch what hes wrought and so he walks off n makes it about himself n just stands there palling around with cas-boy as a "distraction" n then,

once sam is "rescued"(in deans mind), remove himself saying 'im poison" - fkn convenient isnt it that s9 dean doesnt actually have to face the consequences - dean is simply not there to help sam through his recovery from gadreels violations because he cant face upto what he's done n then he just turns that around on sam too...n gers himself manipukated by crowley into moc - & later, misunderstands what sam said when he said sam wouldnt do the same to him...so that, again, he can just avoid having to talk about what it was like for sam when he was possessed by gadreel - if he spent less than 5xseconds looking at that statement - if he knew his brother at all or genuinely did give a sht about him - he would have instantly known that sam meant that sam wouldnt violate and disrespect dean in that way.... and so it means sam is left to recover from gadreel also on his own with no support from dean....

and on, and on,and on....

yes, this turned into a very much anti-dean in the later seasons thing - not a fan of his hypocrisy and his abusive-ness towards someone he loudly and frequently proclaims and declares from rooftops to anyone who'll listen how much he "loves" - his brother!...gah!...

i'm watching spn with my mom (i'm caught up, she's seen seasons 11, 12, and 8) and we just started season 9 and she totally sympathized with dean tricking sam into being possessed and i'm honestly horrified???? like beyond shocked, beyond upset

OH MY GOSH YES. I’m sorry you had to hear that! I was talking about it with my older brother, and he said exactly the same thing! He is generally a Sam fan because he admires Sam’s intelligence and cunning, but he believed that, because Dean had “done it because he loved Sam,” it was okay and excusable.

And like… no? I mean, of course Dean was afraid. Of course he loves Sam and can hardly even entertain the thought of losing him, but those feelings don’t justify the kind of violation he forced on Sam without Sam’s knowledge or consent.

The thing is, I think a lot of people feel the way your mom and my brother do. It’s 100% about these emotional appeals. And I really do understand it. We’re wired to respond to these emotions. It’s why the asshole-with-a-tragic-past trope goes over so well and gets so much love. People just say, “Well, he was horrifically abused/locked in a basement/raised by bandits/made into a child soldier/witness to the murder of his entire clan/etc., so it’s entirely okay that he’d do these things.”

But it’s not okay. Really, what they should say is that it’s understandable. It’s completely understandable, but it’s also completely inexcusable.

I don’t blame people for thinking the way my brother and your mom think, but they are both unequivocally wrong. I understand how Dean’s emotional state contributed to his choice, but that doesn’t mean i excuse it. 

It wouldn’t sting as much, if at all, if Dean had actually acknowledged it like he did in the earlier seasons. Back then, when Sam confronted Dean about his choice to make a dangerous decision that affected Sam (and Dean), he acknowledged that it was a selfish choice he made because he didn’t want to be without Sam. But in s9, he turns all the blame on Sam.

Characters who make mistakes are complex, relatable characters, but it’s harder for me to like characters who make mistakes and then defend those mistakes and shift the blame. I’ve always wanted the show to return to the way it was in the earlier seasons, where it acknowledged how twisted up and flawed the characters were but still made watching their stories enjoyable. The narrative bias is especially apparent in the later seasons, and it’s so tiring.

alkjkljfdgjksjfkahkl anyway, I am so sorry for rambling, but yes. Stuff like that really is upsetting, but it really opened my eyes to the power of storytelling (for good and for ill). Like, what ideas did some viewers carry away from s9, I wonder? It’s amazing to watch all sorts of television that portrays all sorts of events, but I think it’s important to be a thoughtful consumer of this stuff.

[sortasirius]

“Despair” and Dean’s Fear

Let’s talk about Dean.

This is, of course, long, but again, I can write about him all day.

Let’s talk about Dean’s fear, the fear that’s haunted him for most of his life: the fear that his love not only drives people away, but kills them.

Their enemies have played on this fear from day 1.

From Zachariah:

To Gadreel:

It’s been the cause of strife between the boys:

We see it all the time, the fear that people will leave him if he lets them know how much he cares, the fear that someone will take his heart and run, because they’ll see how broken he is and won’t think he’s worth the risk.

Dean Winchester loves so fiercely, he loves so completely and totally, he cannot imagine, cannot comprehend leaving those he loves.

It’s all he’s ever known.

But he can’t, he’s never allowed himself to accept how worthy of love he is, how much those around him care for him.  He thinks he’s broken, unlovable, a blunt instrument, but he’s not.  He is good, caring, funny, smart, and so deserving of the love that he wants to receive.  He already has it, he’s just too afraid to reach out and take it, because what if it gets taken away?  What if he breaks what he’s holding?

He thinks so much about the times he’s loved and the person hasn’t left him, they’ve died.

Is it him?  Is his love the reason that all these people died?  Is his touch poisonous?

Why would he let himself love if he doesn’t think he deserves it, if he thinks that the very touch of him corrupts?

So he lets them leave, lets himself pretend that he’s okay with that, but he never will be, he’s more terrified of being alone than he is of loving the way that he wants to.

Guard your heart, right?  Because if you don’t love, you can’t be hurt.  But that’s not how it works.

Dean is never not going to love, as much as he wishes he couldn’t.

But even when he gets that courage, the courage to speak it, the fear comes back, the fear of rejection, of loss.  Guard your heart.

The grain of sand that is his doubt is enough.  He won’t say it, he’ll follow Cas�� lead, because why on earth would Cas love him?

So when Cas starts with this speech...when he begins to finally speak his truth, knowing what’s coming, Dean can’t speak, he can’t say the words he’s been holding onto for who knows how long.

Because if he says them, if he tells Cas, it’ll make Cas go faster.

And Dean would rather live with Cas, loving him from a distance, than telling him how he feels and losing him for it.

Don’t do this.  Don’t leave me.  If loving me means leaving me then don’t love me.  Everybody I love leaves me, one way or the other.

And the worst part? Cas doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know about this.

And Dean, with Billie on one side and the Empty on the other, tries, he tries to say something, but it’s too late.

It’s too late for him to say those words, and now he has to live with the regret.  Cas has finally gone somewhere he can’t follow.  And those words will sit in his chest for the rest of his life.  It’s a truth we all know, but one that Cas never got to see.

And now?  Dean is left without the fear, but the regret of never having said anything.  Was it worth it to love Cas from a distance, not knowing that Cas has always felt the same?  The knowledge that they could have had this for years, they could have loved each other in the way Dean had always wanted for years, but he was too afraid of his heart being broken.  Now it’s broken anyway, and he is left broken on the ground, unable to move, unable to do anything but cry, because once again, his worst fear is realized: everyone he loves leaves him.

[billiewena]

for the 100k fic celebration, here a portion of the “what if 10x05 had a sastiel agenda?” AKA lil shit sam/jealous dean destiel fic I first shared a while back! been having a lot of fun basically rewriting and expanding on the entire musical episode with new songs (and lots of cute kristen & siobhan moments because OF COURSE they’re still a couple.) it was really encouraging to see the positive response to it back then and it's been taking forever because of work/other writing but I’m so excited to have this one be the first full-length fics I ever post.

It starts with costumed teenagers locked in a tight embrace with absolutely no room for Jesus.

“What are they doing?”

Marie glances over her shoulder for only a brief second.

“Kids these days call it hugging,” she says slowly. Geez, it would’ve been less insulting for her to just outright say Wow, you’re old.

Except it’s not just any of the show’s stars hugging over there. One of them is the “Dean” who’d been mid-rehearsal when they arrived and looked more like Bieber than him with the blonde wig. And the other? Well, he would recognize that Columbo coat anywhere.

“Is that in the show?” he asks, pointing their way.

Marie quickly shakes her head at the accusation. “Oh, no. Siobhan and Kristen are a couple in a real life.”

He nods and lower his hand. Got it. That’s all it was. Everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about—

“No, my play explores the nature of Sastiel.”

“The — wait, what?” he says, confused at once.

“Sastiel?” Marie pauses, giving him a second to figure it out. He doesn’t. “You know, the relationship between Sam and Castiel?”

Dean blinks.

“Sam and…C-Cas?”

“I know, I know. Edlund’s series never finished. I’m lucky I got these drafts. Ugh, it’s Midnight Sun all over again. But the love story is all in the subtext,” she says with confidence. “Can you believe there are people who still think Destiel is endgame? After everything that happened after the angels fell? After Gadreel? Please.”

He silently sounds out the word. Des-tiel? Wait…

“Ever since Cas came back from the dead and took on Sam’s pain, I knew. I just knew. Every one of their arcs had been parallel to each other’s from their fall from grace to the trials. And now with Dean gone, all they have…is each other.”

Marie sighs. “Besides, you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X.”

He coughs and nearly chokes on an asteroid-sized lump in his throat.

“I…uh. Yeah, th-that’s not…you know, I think I’ve seen enough,” Dean says with a forced smile. “Thank you for your, ah, time. I’ll, uh, we’ll follow up if we have questions about the missing persons case. I—alright.”

And with that he purses his lips, turns on his heel and walks away — nearly tripping over one of the stage chords as he does. Why are there are so many of them anyways? This is just some all-girls school production, not the goddamn West End.

He finds Sam in his natural nerd habitat (the tech booth) sifting through all the bins of A/V supplies.

“Yeah, not to interrupt the blast from the past here but it’s time for us to go,” he says, patting the door.

His brother shoots him an annoyed look but packs up and follows him out all the same. Not that Dean bothers to wait for him; no, he makes a beeline for the car as soon as he leaves the booth.

“Hey, what’s with the rush?” Sam calls after him as he runs to catch up with him at the school entrance.

“No rush,” he says shortly. “Just wanted to see what you found out before you got too lost in the nerd sauce over there.”

He doesn’t need to look back to know he’s on the receiving end of a Classic Sam Bitchface right now and continues to stomp his way through the parking lot.

“Well, no EMF, no hex bags. None of their props are remotely hinky. Talked to Maeve and all those extras in the auditorium.” Sam finally catches up and walks side-by-side with him now. “You have any more luck?”

“Nah. Ms. Chandler's office is just a pile of empty bottles and regret. She's probably just face down in a bar somewhere. Or a ditch. I did get to hear all about the director’s, ah, creative vision though,” Dean says, teeth gritted. “Apparently we go into space, I become a woman, and there’s even ninjas and robots!”

“Robots. Huh. Well, that’d definitely be a new one.”

“There’s no robots in Supernatural—”

“I-I know that,” Sam says in exasperation. “I just mean it’s, y’know, innovative. And Dean we’ve fought weirder. Remember the teddy bear? The fairies? The ballet shoes?”

“Well, you just wait until you hear about what she in store for you, Lover Boy,” he says.

And that makes Sam do an instant double-take.

“Uh, Lover Boy?”

“Yeah, your number one fan back there —” he says, gesturing back towards the school, “— was telling me all about the play’s, uh, love story between you and Cas. You got something you’ve been meaning to tell me or what?”

“The love story? Wait, what do you mean me and Cas?”

Dean scoffs, already in utter disbelief of the words he was about to say. “Like you and Cas, together. Together together? Romance of the ages the way she made it sound. Apparently it’s all in her play!”

To his surprise though, Sam just… laughs. “Well, I mean hey, that’s an improvement from the ones who wrote about me and you.”

“You got that right,” he agrees with a shudder. Meeting one Becky the Stalker was bad enough. Knowing she wasn’t alone and that she had an audience made it even worse. “She even had a portmanteau for you, dude. Like you’re some celebrities in a grocery store tabloid. Sass-tiel.”

“Sass-tiel?” He seems to seriously consider it but shrugs. “I don’t know. What about… Samstiel? CasSam? Cam? Mmm, maybe not that…”

Dean groans. “Really? That’s your issue with this?”

“Of course it’s not my issue,” Sam says. He stays pensive for a few more seconds until chuckling again to himself this time, as if he’s the only one in on a private joke. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Cas is great but…”

“Not your type?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam says. No, it’s definitely more than that and he’s doing a piss-poor job of hiding his amused expression.

Dean turns and stares him down. “What?”

“I dunno,” he says, his smirk fully visible now. “I just think it’s funny they’re pairing me up with Cas when the one with the ‘profound bond’ with him is right there.”

“Oh, haha. You’re hilarious,” Dean retorts at once.

“Hey man, I’m not the one who stayed in Purgatory for a year to find him.”

His glare takes on a murderous edge.

“Okay. You know what? You’re going to do that thing where you just shut the hell up! Forever!”

Sam holds up his hands in either what’s either a show of innocence or surrender.

“Alright, alright. Well, other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all I got nothing.”

“So…what?” Dean says. “This-this all... This whole musical thing, everything, it's... it's all a coincidence? There is no case?”

“Unless you're seeing something I'm not, no, Dean. There's no case here,” he says sincerely this time.

“Come on. This has classic Trickster vibes all over it.” He almost wants to turn around and start yelling, Come on out Gabriel you bastard!

“Trickster’s dead, man. And he wasn’t just a trickster, he was an archangel. And they’re all gone too.”

“Could be a lower-rank angel?” Dean tries. “I mean, Zachariah pulled off an entire apocalypse world. And that place where we were both corporate drones. Before you know it, this’ll get all Buffy and it’ll be me and you singin’ and dancin’—“

“Dean…I think it’s just fans. Look, as long as they’re not putting another love spell on one of us I couldn’t really care less what they’re doing,” Sam says with some bitterness, clearly not looking back at that particular memory with any fondness. “Just writing some songs? I mean, it’s innocent enough.”

“Oh yeah, so innocent,” he scoffs. “They’re singing about our dead parents, your demon blood bender, the apocalypse, all of it! This is just…it’s make-believe for them! But it’s our lives!”

Sam runs a tired hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t get it either man. I wasn’t exactly thinking about the books’ entertainment value while Chuck was describing my sex life in vivid detail—“

“Don’t remind me,” he says, holding up a hand in disgust.  

“—but I dunno. There’s obviously something about it they connected to, right? Something they related to, something that moved them, inspired them? And I guess…I mean, what’s wrong with that?”

There is so, so much wrong with that.

“I don’t know what story they’re reading and what Sam and Dean they’re ‘connecting’ to here. But it sure as hell ain’t us. I mean…they even made me blonde, dude.”

“It’s a high school play, what can you expect?” Sam laughs. “It was probably the closest wig they could find at Party City.”

Dean ignores him, muttering aloud as he makes his way to the driver’s seat.

“The hair…the singing…the robots… the love story…”

“You really were bothered by that, weren’t you?” Sam gives his brother a curious look.

“SUPERNATURAL ISN’T A ROMANCE!” Dean snaps. “Look, these girls obviously don’t know what they’re talking about—“

“I dunno, Dean,” Sam said in a clearly taunting voice now. “Maybe you’re just jealous of what me and Cas have.”

He flushes. “W-what? I-I’m not—“

“We could give you two a name too, y’know? So you don’t feel left out? What about…Dee-stiel? CasDean?”

And he refuses to entertain this conversation any longer.

“Shut your face! Get in the car!”

Thankfully Sam notices the shift in tone and obliges at once.

Dean, meanwhile, takes a moment outside the car to glance around — almost as if checking to see if anyone overheard that comment. Not that it mattered. Who could overhear? No one even knew they were THE Sam and THE Dean. Who cared? He certainly didn’t care. He didn’t care at all...

(to be continued)

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[stusbunker]

Screw Biology and Reality

A Supernatural A/B/O Fan-fiction

Featuring: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader, (past) Omega!Reader x Beta!Kevin Tran, Sam

Written for: @spnkinkbingo​

Square Filled: Size Difference

Setting: Season 9

Word Count: 3108

Summary: You grieve Kevin, remaining hidden away in the bunker. With your next heat you hope to crossover to see him again. Dean makes every case to keep you alive. Will you ever see Kevin again? If so as what?

Warnings: 18+, A/B/O Dynamics, grief, suicidal tendencies,  SMANGST, fingering, knotting, desperate dub!con claiming, betrayal, jealousy.

Read Part 1 first! then Part 2

Day Fifty-five

              The hours were hollow now. Though Dean had saved Sam from the angel Gadreel, he was already off on another wild goose chase. Kevin seemed almost forgotten by the Winchesters already. Maybe it was Sam’s undo guilt or Cas’s experiments, but for you, Kevin would never be gone, in thought or memory.

Day Ninety

              Time moved on. The days since Kevin’s death were suddenly more than the days you had with him. That short time another regret on your conscience. You were cleaning the kitchen when Dean and Sam returned to the Bunker, oddly rejuvenated from their spa case. The tension between them had lightened considerably since they left, which helped your overall anxiety levels. Navigating two Alphas was taxing enough, especially when they weren’t on their usual brotherly terms.

              When Dean’s eyes lingered on you, you didn’t register the longing. Instead you unknowingly ignored him and moved onto the laundry.

Day One Hundred and two

              Being a kept woman had its advantages: you had your own room, freedom to roam the bunker, everything but leave. When suddenly, there were more reasons to appreciate your new life: Dean had started bringing you home gifts. Little things, like new shoes or a pastry he remembered you liked. Once it was an album of a band, he hated, but saw it while he was scanning for the vintage finds and thought of you. All these new conveniences still did little to null the ache of Kevin’s loss. Some days you swore you heard his voice, just around the bend. But each time you entered another room, it was devastatingly empty. Once the knots started in your stomach again, you realized that your wait was nearly over.

              You awoke with a throbbing like you had never felt before, your slick stuck to your thighs. You were in heat and without your mate, there was little to do but wait for the end. Kevin was gone and soon you would be too. Maybe then you could both be happy, once this wretched life was forgotten and you were reunited in whatever afterlife you were granted. The thought of seeing him smile once more caused you to cry. It had been so long since you had felt real emotion, but now you let the tears fall against your pillow. It would all be over soon.

Day One Hundred and four

              The Bunker was filled with the scent of your heat, so permeating that Sam wouldn’t leave the garage. Dean breathed through his mouth as he told Sam to give him twenty minutes to grab more clothes and check in on you. When you didn’t answer him, his time ran out and his brother bailed, guessing inevitability had finally caught up with you both. Mark of Cain or no, Dean had it bad for you. Everyone could see it. You just seemed to have forgotten.

              Dean easily picked the lock on your bedroom door, walking in to find you breathing shallowly in a sweat drenched tee and an old pair of pajama bottoms that were probably Kevin’s at some point. He fell to your bedside, ignoring the instincts clawing at his mind. You were both hot and cold to the touch, skin clammy and lips chapped, your pulse was racing in the tender flesh of your neck. You didn’t respond to his touch or his voice. Dean panicked, face falling beneath yours as he unconsciously scented you. Beneath the heat there was still pain and he realized why you were so unresponsive. With a fierce shake, Dean broke you of your trance, warm calloused hands encased your shoulders as the world came back into focus.

              “You--- you can’t be here,” you moaned. A full body cough set him back on his heels as you recovered. He grabbed the untouched water bottle from your desk and held it to your lips. Weakly, you clamped your mouth shut.

              “Goddamn it, drink Omega!” Dean ordered, fear lacing his words.

              Just as you were about to reply, he poured the liquid into your open mouth, sputtering you sat up, coughing more violently until you could breathe deeply again. Once you did, your body was flooded with Dean, his concern and his heady Alpha scent. The only thing that could stop you from seeing Kevin again, was yourself. You just had to hold out, it wouldn’t be long now.

              “Come on, sweetheart, I need you to drink? Okay? Just a little?” Dean begged, wrecked over your listlessness. You shook your head and closed your eyes, turning your head away from him on your pillow, because it was too much effort to roll your entire body away. Minutes went by and Dean started to pace, you drifted in and out of consciousness. Suddenly something warm and strong enveloped you, something that caused you to whimper with need. Carefully Dean rolled you to your side, his naked body slotted behind you as he nuzzled your shoulder, your hair, your pulse point.

              You never realized how much bigger he was than you were until he was everywhere. Your body knew what it needed was there for the taking, but your mind fought those primal needs. You were mated, how could you take another?

              “Shhh, it’s alright. I’m right here,” Dean whispered, his deep voice soothing. His hard cock prodding the back of your thigh.

              “I can’t.” Your meager retort.

              “Let me help you--- please don’t leave me. You’ve got to fight, Omega. Don’t give up now. You’ve come so far, let me take care of you,” Dean’s voice hot and fierce in your ear, but his hands remained gentle, rubbing your upper arm, willing you back to life.

              You felt like a fuse burning on both ends, the will to live and the need to be with Kevin again accelerating the growing emptiness inside. Dean shielded and held you, sturdy and patient. Slowly you began to let yourself feel, skin almost vibrating from holding back from the connection for so long. Once you reached back, hand searching until it landed on Dean’s hip; the smothering desire of your heat reemerged. You pulled him impossibly closer to you, fingers trailing down and over his taut ass, the muscles of his powerful thighs and back up again. He grunted behind you, plump kisses finding your nape as you gave him permission.

              “Can I?” Dean whispered, breath catching as you erratically began to rock back into him.

              You nodded pathetically. “Please? ’m so weak—” you mumbled, face falling forward, trying to present.

              Dean pulled you back, flush to his chest. “I got ya. Don’t worry.”

              Reverently, Dean undressed you, his lips pulled at your skin, like firecrackers sizzling along until he moved on and sparked another to life. Carefully his hands roamed your body, thumb barely brushing the curve of your breast as he sank lower, his wide palm splayed over your tummy and finally his fingers slid into your folds. You keened as he ghosted over your sensitive bud, gently prodding your entrance. Encased by his body, you were at his mercy, yet you craved his salvation. Now that you had allowed yourself to accept his touch, you realized how much you needed him. Dean, not just an Alpha. Just Dean.

              He pulled your knee up, letting his dick slip between your thighs, your smooth wetness easing some of his throbbing as he glided up to meet his own hand as it tapped against your hood.

              “You’re so beautiful, ‘mega. I can’t believe--- fuck,” Dean broke off as you angled your hips, causing his head to catch at your opening. “Need to open you up, don’t want to hurt you.”

              Once you felt the hint of the stretch of him, you didn’t argue, but the desperation was clawing at your core while the need to be bound to Dean thrummed your every nerve. You whimpered as he pulled away, the comforting wall of his body rolling above you as you fell onto your back. He thumbed your face down to your chin, pulling your gaze into his intense stare. In his green eyes was everything he couldn’t say, everything you had been missing since losing Kevin. Inside them there was a softness you never knew someone like he could possess.

              “Alpha?” You breathed, his eyes darkening with his title. Dean hummed, easing down onto your chest, his forearms framing you. At long last his lips found yours, almost timid compared to his past explorations. Your jaw fell open for his lapping tongue, letting him taste and tease you while making your head spin. He tasted like coffee and something comforting, warm and almost sweet. You nipped at his bottom lip before he dragged away, lips leading him lower. Your hands braced on his biceps; fingers barely able to notch against their breadth.

              Without pulling away, Dean left an array of needy kisses over your neck and chest, his hips slowly wedging between yours as you hitched yourself up to accept him. He swallowed a groan as he felt the heat of your core tease him once more. With staggering dexterity, Dean shifted all of his weight on to his right side, freeing his left hand to spread you open. His heavy shaft wept against your trembling thigh as he entered you with two thick fingers. He prodded deeper as a satisfied hiss fell from your lips, you felt him watching you, but you couldn’t look back at him, mind unable to focus on anything but the pleasure he was granting you.

              Your legs opened wider, heels digging into his thighs, failing to draw him closer. Dean chuckled at you, deep in his chest, that amused smirk breaking you open like nothing had. You whined and reached up to take his devilish lips in a fevered kiss, just as his tongue met yours, he began to rub tight circles over your inner bundle of nerves. The pressure was blinding as your climax avalanched through you, renewing your slick and drawing his fingers deeper inside your channel.

              “That’s my girl,” Dean praised against your gasping mouth, his breath feather light and taunting. You licked back into him as he centered himself above you once more. As Dean angled his blunt tip at your core, your hands rested on his thick trapezius muscles, unable to process the power his bulk allowed.

              “Gonna go slow,” Dean explained, eyes watching you for any sign of fear or regret.

              “Alpha, please!” you begged, rolling up to take him at last.

              “God, woman,” Dean groaned, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply before inching inside you.

              It was mind altering, the heavy stretch of him entering you. Impossibly he just kept going, deeper and deeper until you felt torn in two. His knot, thick and cool as it kissed your overheated lips. He sighed rapturously; the sound delicious, eventually you remembered to breathe again yourself. The moment he felt you relax, he drew back, emptying you but for his smooth cockhead and slammed back through your wanton walls. Everything ceased to exist, save for you and Dean. He was everywhere, above, below, around and inside of you. You took all of him, pulling his breath into your lungs as you panted together. Your mind pulsed with your pleasure, overwhelming in intensity.

              His knot knocked at your opening, swollen and ready. You sucked in a ragged breath, trying to focus, to relax yourself enough to take the final stretch of him. Dean felt your shift and dipped his head to suck a hardened nipple into his talented mouth. The new angle sent you reeling, each forceful thrust coasting over your G spot with purpose. Once his hot mouth found your other breast, your body seized in a second orgasm. That relentless pull against his shaft dragging him over with you, his knot plowed into you, even against the thundering pulses of your channel.

              As soon as Dean peaked, knot locked inside of you, filling you with his seed, you passed out, the blissful sensations drowning you. Dean barked out in pleasure; his mind slow to process your limp form as he shallowly rutted his body against yours, continuing to pump into your womb. Once his vision cleared and he nuzzled against your temple, Dean knew something was wrong. His hand came up to your throat, the pulse suddenly faint against his fingertips. He called your name, but you would not wake.

              His mind spiraled, fear and guilt flooding his system. He whined as he nipped at your earlobe, eyes closed as he felt you fading away. He scented you, tongue dragging over your tender flesh as he braced himself to do what he only hoped could save you. Something you never mentioned. Something he hadn’t even thought to ask for. Not yet. As your breath stuttered, Dean sank his teeth into that pristine patch of skin that his eyes always seemed to find. Hard and deep they slid until your blood coated his tongue. Suddenly you gasped.

              His face broke away in a relieved grin, his forehead rested against his mark as he inhaled with each of your breaths. Cautiously he lapped over the bite, sealing and healing it as only your Alpha’s saliva could. You moaned, hand finding the back of his head, your fingers brushing through the short hair there as he soothed your wound.

              “Hey, you with me?” Dean’s voice broke through the surface, pulling you back into the light.

              “Alpha?” You asked groggily.

              “Hmmmm, my Omega,” Dean hummed, kissing up your jaw. He let out a rattled breath, relief radiating from his every pore.

              Carefully, Dean rolled you back to your sides, his thumb brushing your hair from your forehead as you struggled to focus on his face.

              “Hi.” You smiled lazily.

              “You hangin’ in there?” Dean asked, eyes searching. You nodded, hand holding his to your cheek, cradling him to you. “Gave me quite the scare, Omega. I had to—”

              You shushed him, shaking your head at the same time. “It’s better this way.”

              “You sure? I wanted you to want it,” he whispered, not looking you in the eye. What he meant was him. He wanted you to want him, not need him. You didn’t reply, but for a quick kiss, eyes closed as reality sank in.

Day One Hundred and forty

              The lights had been weird on and off for weeks, but this was the first time the boys were home to see it for themselves. Dean lurched from bed, eyes scanning for some unseen threat. You rarely saw your Alpha go into instant kill mode, but his heightened senses only peaked under severe stress. He called out to Sam, causing you to cower back as he ran from the room. Slowly, you relaxed, hearing their voices drop as they assessed the situation. When you opened your eyes again a familiar, yet impossible voice greeted you.

              “Sweetie?” Kevin’s sputtering form called to you. He shifted in and out of your vision like a spastic strobe light. Your breath fogged as you tried to understand what you were seeing. Who, you were seeing.

              “Kev?” you asked dumbstruck. He smiled sadly as you approached, arms reaching for him until Dean’s presence at the door froze you in place.

              “Well, shit.” Dean spat, hands on his hips as he caught his breath. Sam just behind him as you all stared at Kevin’s ghost. The story unraveled; Heaven was closed, leaving Kevin trapped. You knew you had heard him all those months ago, but the roller coaster of easing into life with Dean had deafened you to his once soothing voice. Your gut hitched as you realized everything he could have seen. All the time you spent with Dean, so much more than you had shared with him.

              You remained quiet as Sam and Dean questioned him, unable to form a thought relevant to the quest for finding his mother. Once Kevin convinced Sam and Dean to follow his ridiculous lead from the veil, you were left alone. You knew Kevin wouldn’t be able to maintain his full form for long, especially after they took the coffee pot with them. Though you knew you were truly what he could come back to, if he tried hard enough. Because he had never stopped trying, but somewhere along the way you had.

              “You sure you’re alright?” Kevin’s voice was already muffled.

              “I’m fine, Kev. I’m so sorry—” you started.

              “Hey, I get it. I know you couldn’t help it. Not really.” He was being too kind.

              You sniffled. “But, it’s still not fair. I should have tried harder.”

              “What? And end up lost in this ocean of souls with me?” Kevin balked, mischievous smirk that you loved returning to his ashen face. “It’s better this way.”

              You inhaled at the familiar phrase, shame pushing out the tears you had barely contained this whole while. “I still miss you, though.”

              “I know you do. I miss you too. But you’re safer with Dean. He can give you what you need without you having to spell it out. He was made for you,” Kevin placated, unable to comfort you more than a cool patch against your cheek. “I forgive you.”

              The last words faded away as he sizzled out of sight, the connection broken alongside your heart. That night you cried yourself to sleep, buried in one of Dean’s flannels.

Day One Hundred and forty two

As soon as Mrs. Tran stepped into the Bunker, you instantly understood so much more about the man you had lost. She was ferocious in love for her son; you wished you had gotten to know her on better terms. No one said anything about who you were to Kevin, unwilling to burden her with more than she needed. As soon as she was ready to leave, you gave her a tight hug, knocking her back on her feet, though you two were nearly the same size.

              “Take good care of him,” you begged under your breath.

              “I always did,” she chirped. You couldn’t help but feel hurt by her words, though she couldn’t have meant anything by it. Watching them both leave was the overdo closure you needed to move on with your life. Kevin was not someone you could ever forget; he was your first love. The kind of love that is always looked back upon with unscrutinized nostalgia because of its sacredness. But Dean was your mate, the love of your life, born from near death to deliver you into the women you could be. He was your forever. And you were his, even when the Mark wouldn’t let him go.

^*^*^

[gh0stguts]

9,12, 30 - @boykingsofhell. Please tag me if you answer so I can see it <3

Hell yeah let's go! @boykingsofhell

I'm on mobile so I'm sorry for not putting this under a read more lol

9. What episodes best encapsulate the brother's relationship? Does this change throughout the series? Doesn't have to be the best episode btw.

I feel like their relationship definitely changes a bit over the course of the show, but not super significantly. Like they definitely keep that weird codependent thing throughout but their trust levels with each other fluctuate a fair bit and there's less sibling banter at times because of that.

I think any episode where one of them dies does pretty well to show that codependency, the way they just do a complete switch of "Fuck everything else, I'm not doing shit until he's back."

1.17 shows the prank wars and let's us know that they have a history of pranking each other, which is a nice little insight to an almost normal sibling dynamic rather than what we see more of throughout the show (I'm referring specifically about how Dean essentially raised Sam for their entire lives, this blog is NOT SAFE for winc*st shippers. If you ship them, block me.)

When Ruby 2.0 is brought in, that's where we really see their dynamic change as Dean starts to trust Sam less and less, and how Sam gets angrier and more frustrated with Dean because he's convinced himself he's doing this for the right reasons.

In 1.18, we get the shtriga episode, which is a good insight into both how Sam and Dean were raised, and ALSO how Sam has always been Dean's responsibility. Hell, this is set up straight from episode one when we see Dean carrying baby Sam out of their burning house. 1.18 gives us more context to John leaving Dean to take care of Sam a lot more than just that one instance of John trying to save Mary at the start. It's something that continued through their whole lives.

This is shown again in 4.13, although much less, as that episode focused more on Sam during school. We still see though that John would leave Sam and Dean alone for weeks at a time in a motel and Dean would be responsible for taking care of Sam (i.e. when Dean offers/threatens to beat up the kid that tried bullying Sam.)

Speaking of Dean's raising Sam, that also brings up the Gadreel arc. Dean's primary job growing up was always "look after Sammy, don't let anything happen to Sammy," and this persisted even when he became an adult and long after John passed. Dean is often willing to do whatever he has to if it means keeping Sam safe, I think both because Sam is the only blood family he has left, and also because even with John gone, there's still that lingering thought of "Dad will be mad." (Insert that quote about 'if there is an angry man in your home once, there will always be an angry man in your home even when there isn't' here.)

Honestly I could go on about this forever if I really wanted to look up specific episodes and really get into it, but that's a long enough answer for now haha

12. Symbolism: tell me about some cool symbolism in SPN! Your pick!

Okay I don't have a long rant about this, I just think a lot about that scene with Cas in season 4 with the light flickering above him and go absolutely feral

Like we knew for a good portion of that season that Cas would fall or rebel but that scene has me foaming at the mouth everytime, I can't do this

30. Make up a fact about a character and convince me it's true.

I think Dean really likes Ghibli movies and he will never admit it but his favorite one is Ponyo because Jack likes it and they watched it once during movie night and Dean got very quietly and privately emotional about the whole thing because he was never supposed to have moments like that but there he is, with his brother and Cas and their son having this little domestic moment and watching a kids movie with his family

He also likes Princess Mononoke but he's less secretive about that one. If anyone accuses him of liking Ponyo best, he will vehemently deny it because it's too childish and not many enough (bc y'know, toxic masculinity and all sorts of internalized phobias and all that, or as I like to call it, Raised by John Winchester Syndrome) but Ponyo is his favorite because it reminds him of his family and these little soft moments they get to have sometimes where he makes them popcorn and they can get comfy on the couch and relax and have a nice time together because despite it all, Dean isn't his father, and he isn't "daddy's blunt little instrument," and he doesn't just want to use his hands to kill, he wants to care for and nurture and protect and love and be a better man than his father ever was and raise a kid better than John ever could.

(I also think he'd like it because he'd watch it and it would remind him of watching movies with Mary when he was little and he thinks she would like Ponyo too.)

[shirtlesssammy]

9x21: King of the Damned

Then:

Things are going really well for the angels. 

Now:

1723

Abaddon arrives at an inn in Leith, Scotland and introduces herself to a confused young man as a “friend of the family”. She notes that he’s traveling in the morning to the colonies. The innkeeper interrupts their little conversation, and Abaddon makes quick use of the coathanger on the wall when she slams the dude into it, killing him. She then starts chanting her spell. The sigil on the door she painted lights the room yellow. 

At a bar, angels are drinking and chilling. Nerd angel decides to interrupt a group by telling them about how cool he is for getting picked by “Met Man” to head back to Heaven. He’s overheard by a couple at the bar. 

As he’s leaving later, they kidnap him and chain him up.They’re on the other side of the angel war and want to know more about his allegiance to Metratron. There are footsteps growing louder from the hallway, the music grows tense, and the derpy angel nervously asks, “Is that him?” It is. 

It is ...Cas. 

Meanwhile, the brothers arrive to see “the commander”.

They’re brought into the main operation room. It’s buzzing with angels all looking for Metatron. Cas greets them both with a hug when they enter his office. The brothers are skeptical of Cas’s new leadership role, but Cas believes someone has to stop Metatron. Cas needs the brothers to interrogate the kidnapped angel. MOC!Dean is game.

Crowley, meanwhile, is meeting with his team of trusted demons. 

He’s making it clear that the king is back, and Abaddon must be stopped. He asks for their “Yo” of allegiance, but gets only silence in response. Until Abaddon blurts it out from the door. She reviews the fact that Crowley helped the Winchesters get ahold of the First Blade and Dean’s wearing the Mark of Cain. She points out that once she’s gone, Crowley’s next on their list. She wants to team up but Crowley declines. She has no hold over him. 

Enter Gavin Macleod: the Scot from the opening --and Crowley’s son. Crowley swears he doesn’t care about the boy. Abaddon is willing to bet that his little foray into humanness left him with more compassion than he thinks. She starts to torture the poor dude. 

Crowley holds out for a couple seconds but way too quickly demands that Abaddon stop.

Sam and Dean are busy playing Good Cop/Bad Cop with the rogue angel. Dean wants to stab the dude, but Sam catches on REAL quick that the angel likes to boast, so he goes for a little reverse psychology. 

They both egg the guy on enough to have him reveal that there’s a private portal to Heaven now. 

Gavin, now recovered from the torture, adamantly denies that Crowley is his father. His father was Fergus Macleod, a simple tailor. Abaddon and Crowley reveal to poor Gavin that he’s in the future. He mistakes them for angels. 

Sam and Dean continue their schtick. And they get a lot of intel from the guy. They learn that the portal moves around and there’s an elite, secret Heaven squad (that this guy ultimately wasn’t chosen for). Sam and Dean leave the room convinced they didn’t learn a thing. 

Gavin learns that his dad sold his soul for “an extra three inches of willy?!” He does not like this turn of events. Crowley assures him that his dear old dad is the King of Hell so everything is good! 

Another angel opens the interrogation room to find the nerd angel stabbed through the heart, dead. Sam and Dean have to explain themselves to the Commander. 

Dean wonders if Cas’s operation has been compromised. Cas had real faith in the angels under his charge (and there goes Cas again with his faith in others…). Dean heads out to find out who killed the angel. Cas holds Sam back to ask about Gadreel. “It's not really something I like to…” Sam starts, before Cas cuts him off. (Sam, you never want to talk about your trauma, bby) Sam then tells him that it was like they were sharing housing, but he never felt threatened. He was misunderstood, but not a danger (well, except for Kevin.) 

Crowley and Gavin confront their past, each blaming their respective parents for their terrible lives. Gavin can’t even read! Crowley shoves an impatient hand against Gavin’s forehead and hands him a newspaper. Tada! He can read now! (This remains one of the funniest and weirdest canon demonic powers. Can you imagine some demon elementary school teacher just trying to live a neutral life and impatiently zapping all their students with reading power?) Gavin immediately warms up to Crowley, and further cheers to learn that he can now adopt the title “Prince.” Gavin would like to be sent back through time and continue nipping off to the new world, though. GAVIN you fool you’re already THERE and you can have hot showers here. HOT SHOWERS.

Gadreel arrives at a clandestine meeting with Cas. Gadreel reveals that he’s still sour about what happened in the Garden. “You feel misunderstood,” Cas notes. He thinks that Gadreel wants to redeem himself and that’s why he’s helping Metatron. Yep, Cas isn’t speaking about himself AT ALL here. Cas tells Gadreel that Metatron can’t be trusted. Just then, angels race in to attack their meeting. RUDE. Gadreel and Cas dispatch them handily. 

Dean has First Blade flashbacks while he researches, zoning out so much that he can’t even hear his own phone ringing next to him. Sam snaps him back to Earth. The phone call is from Crowley and he’s plotting to kill Abaddon with their assistance. When they hang up, Crowley looks up to a smiling Abaddon. It’s a trap!

Dean and Sam unbury a corpse to unearth the First Blade that’s hidden inside of it (yeah that was a lot already) when they’re confronted by a hellhound.

Cornered by the hound, Dean calls Crowley, then puts him on speaker. Crowley tells “Juliet” the hellhound to stand down. At least there are SOME loyal subjects left in Hell! The Winchesters chop the blade out of the body and head out.  

Gavin throws a temper tantrum about wanting to travel back in time and slams the door to his room in their suite. Crowley gets a call from Dean and tells him where to meet him to get the drop on Abaddon. 

Crowley drops the code word he learned earlier in the season: “Poughkeepsie.” He warns them that it’s a long drive from Poughkeepsie. Dean hangs up and looks troubled, but doesn’t bother to share his concerns with Sam. 

Abaddon smirks at Crowley as her plans settle into place. She’s about to be overrun with the Winchesters and Crowley - and she doesn’t trust a single one of them. She shoots Crowley in the shoulder with a devil’s trap bullet to nullify his AMAZING READING POWERS. 

Gadreel begs Cas to trust him. He didn’t send the angel assassins! Cas tries to use the attack to bolster his argument that Metatron can’t be trusted.

For Concerned Blue Eyes Science:

Cas asks for intel - not action. If Gadreel will turn spy for Castiel, then Cas has an advantage for his own battles. Gadreel can try to keep his hands clean. 

Dean and Sam arrive at the hotel. Dean spins a quick lie about how Crowley spotted demons in the basement. While Sam goes to check that out, Dean heads up to Crowley. “Love the crazy bloodlust in your eyes,” Crowley croons in greeting. 

Demons attack Dean immediately and Abaddon power-pushes him against a large painting and pins him like a bow-legged bug. 

Sam finds absolutely nothing in the basement while Dean confronts literal and probably also metaphorical demons upstairs. Dean draws from the power of the blade, the Mark glowing through his jacket, and pulls away from the wall under his own magical steam. He psychically snaps the blade to himself and strides across the room to skewer a disbelieving Abaddon. I ALWAYS forget that Abaddon dies in this episode. It’s just like…Crowley family drama, Winchester family drama, Angel drama, lol she’s DEAD.

After she dies, he continues to hack away at her body. Sam tells him, breathlessly, that he can stop now. Dean’s doing GREAT, guys! 

Afterward, Crowley reveals that he warned Dean about the trap and Sam shoots a surprised look at his brother. Err…awkward. The Winchesters tell Crowley that the laws of time travel require Gavin to go back to his own time, even if he dies. Honestly, sometimes I just sit back and think about how much I love this sprawling show that’s like...ghosts? Yes. Angels and demons? Okay. Time travel? Why the fuck not?

Sam plans to bring Gavin back to the bunker and magic him home. Crowley heads in to say goodbye to his son, but zaps away with him instead. In a park green, Crowley tells Gavin about the fate of his ship to America, and that he should go live his life in the current century.

Gavin bids Crowley a fond farewell. Crowley, for his part, struggles against his FEELINGS and zaps out. 

In the car, Dean tells Sam why he directed him to the basement. Dean knew the blade would help him take down Abaddon and anyone else who got in his way. He wanted Sam out of the way for that. Sam speculates that the Blade is changing Dean. He begs Dean to lock the Blade away until they need it. “No,” Dean says quietly, and we cut to black.

I Had a HellQuote Named Juliet:

No, we get it. You're a rock star

Holy mother of God! We're amongst the stars! Are we in heaven, then? You must be angels!

No one bends the rules like you two bend the rules

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[samclownchester]

I’m Not Sorry

Read on AO3

Listen, Dean has done a lot of problematic stuff they've never discussed on the show (or they have discussed but it was in a very biased and unfair way) and we all complain about it and I just wanted to write Sam finally standing up for himself and Dean finally owning up to the crap he's done so ... I hope it's as therapeutic for you to read as it was for me to write!

“Dean, we need to talk,” Sam said, sliding into the seat across from Dean at the kitchen table. Dean looked up from his breakfast, surprised, and the egg on his fork slowly slid off and flopped back onto his plate. 

“Um, good morning to you too,” he said, disgruntled.

“I’ve been talking to Eileen about … our lives,” Sam said without preamble, “And I’ve realized a few things. Things that I wanted to make clear,”he was doing his best to talk in a level tone. The last thing he wanted to do was start an argument, but he had realized that a lot of things had gone undealt with between them, and he wanted … no, needed to clear the air. At least for a few specific things.

Dean set his fork down and shrugged, giving Sam permission to say whatever was on his mind. 

“I’m not sorry,” he started, and though a part of him was a little afraid of Dean’s reaction, he also felt relieved to be saying it, “about what happened in 2012.” Dean just looked at him with wide eyes, and Sam couldn’t tell if he was surprised by what Sam was saying, or just shocked he would interrupt his breakfast over something that had happened so long ago. “I mean, I wish you hadn’t gone through purgatory, and I do … I do regret not looking for Kevin but … I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for getting a dog, for falling in love, for trying to move on after I thought you had died, like we had promised each other we would. I don’t apologize for that.”

Dean didn’t respond for a moment, just stared at Sam, his expression unreadable. “Let me get this straight,” he said, “you were talking to Eileen about this girl you were … with, almost 10 years ago and … what? Sammy, come on…”

“Don’t.” Sam said seriously, giving Dean a level look, “don’t try and make light of this, don’t just brush it off. Dean,” he heaved a sigh, “look, you’re my brother and I love you, I do, but … we’ve been through a lot of crap together, and you have put me through a lot of crap, and we need to talk about it.”

Dean stared hard at him, but when Sam didn’t break away from his gaze he finally relented, “ok, fine. Fine. So you’re not sorry. You’re not sorry I spent what felt like eternity rotting in a world of monsters. That’s great Sam, just what I wanted to hear when I woke up this morning,” he stood up, picking up his plate and heading toward the sink. Evidently, he no longer had an appetite.

“That’s not what I said, Dean,” Sam turned to continue facing Dean as he maneuvered around the kitchen. “It’s not like I’m happy you went to Purgatory, and I know that it was very traumatic for you, and I understand that you were angry and hurt when you got out, but I did not deserve all the guilt you threw on me. I did what I thought was right, I mourned you, Dean. I thought you were dead for good.”

Sam sighed deeply, “Yes, Dean, the future matters, but the past does too. It’s made us into who we are, and … sure, we kickass but we also –”

“Yeah, except that’s not what we do!” Dean yelled, “we don’t just give up on each other,” and Sam felt like they’d transported themselves back in time. A part of him regretted bringing this up; wanted to curl up into a ball, tell Dean he was right, apologize, go back to his room and leave things as they were. But he’d realized that how unhealthy that was, and he fought against that instinct.

He reminded himself that it was the present. That Dean had been out of purgatory for years and a lot had changed. “What about when Cas died,” he asked, trying his best not to raise his voice. He didn’t want this to be an attack, just a counterargument, although he worried Dean would get defensive either way, “by some miracle we got him back, but you didn’t want to try anything to bring him back. You burned his body. You gave up. You mourned. Did that mean you cared any less about him? No, you just didn’t know how to save him.”

Surprisingly, Dean’s anger seemed to lower to a quiet simmer. He set his jaw, taking a deep breath. “Ok,” he said, “I’m – I shouldn’t have yelled. This is an old argument anyway. Things’ve changed; we’ve changed. Listen, I don’t – I know you’ll have my back in the future, that’s what matters.”

He cut off, not sure if it was wise to say. An observation Eileen had made about how their family seemed to work that had left him feeling a little unsettled, especially because it was so true. 

“What, Sam?” Dean asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. He seemed completely done with this conversation, but he wasn’t leaving. 

Sam sighed, “You and I – and hell, even Cas – have been stuck in this loop for years now. With you as the moral authority on everything, you always have the last say. But, I’m sick of apologizing. I’m sick of putting my head down and letting you have your way.”

“Sam, what the hell are you talking about?” Dean exclaimed, “I listen to you!”

“Yeah, when it suits you,” Sam shot back

“And you’re your own person, anyway, you can do whatever you want.”

“Yeah, and I do,” Sam said, “but if it’s not what you want, I usually have to do it behind your back.”

“Ok, so now you’re blaming me for the fact that you’re a liar?”

“Dean, would you stop!?” Sam yelled, “I’m trying … I’m trying to get you to own up to the fact that you have hurt me! Ok?” Dean turned away but Sam had a feeling he was rolling his eyes, “I mean, yeah, you took care of me, you’ve protected me, you’ve always been there for me, and I’m grateful, I am!” he said, although he sounded anything but grateful, “but you’ve also hurt me. I mean … ever since … and I know this was ages ago but it’s seared into my memory; that voicemail you left me, right before I went to kill Lillith. You called me a bloodsucking freak and told me you were on your way to kill me … I think, ever since then I’ve been … afraid,” Dean turned around again, his eyes wide, “afraid of you … seeing me that way. So I just … I apologize, I let you be right –”

“No, hold up,” Dean said, cutting Sam off with a gesture. He was looking at Sam like he had been speaking a foreign language, “I never said that.”

Sam shook his head, exasperated, “Dean, you might not remember, I know you probably weren’t thinking straight – God knows I wasn’t – but it happened, ok. I know it did.”

“No,” Dean insisted, “I do remember, I left you a voice mail. I did, but that was not what I said.”

Sam looked at his brother incredulously, “Dean, are you seriously trying to gaslight me right now?” he said with an ironic laugh, “that is … you’re unbelievable.”

“No,” Dean advanced on Sam, “that’s not – I mean I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I was on my way to save you. I never would’ve even thought that killing you was the answer … I just, I – I couldn’t.”

But Dean cut him off, “No, shut up Sam,” he said, “You’re right, ok? You’re right. I have put you through some real crap. I have said horrible things to you, and the whole situation with Gadreel … I didn’t think. I didn’t … I didn’t know what it was like to be possessed, to lose your autonomy like that I …” his voice caught in his throat. Sam felt sucker punched. He hadn’t been ready to talk about Gadreel, that was something he tried desperately not to think about, but he saw tears forming in Dean’s eyes, “And after Charlie died? I was … the Mark was messing with me Sam, but that’s no excuse. What I said? I didn’t mean it. And I know, ok? I know I have a lot to apologize for. And I am … sorry, I am,” he took a deep breath, he wasn’t letting Sam get a word in edgewise, but this all seemed like it was very hard for him to admit, “I always think that people will just – that they’ll just get it, y’know? That they can see that I’m sorry, I try to … make up for stuff without having a conversation, but … you’re right. We need to talk about this. We can’t just forget about it.”

Dean seemed so convinced he was telling the truth, but Sam couldn’t accept it. This was one of those memories that, despite the years that had passed, despite everything else they had gone through, remained clearly stamped in his mind. It was the day he realized Dean’s love was a conditional one. He knew Dean would go to the ends of the earth for him, but deep down he always wondered … where was the line? What were the conditions which, once he failed to fulfill them, would make him lose the only thing that had every really mattered to him?

“You know what Dean, maybe this was a mistake,” Sam said, “we just don’t … I shouldn’t have sprung this on you first thing in the morning,” he hated himself for saying it, for crawling back into his shell, trying to placate Dean, to keep the peace in their little family. 

Now it was Sam’s turn to stare in shock. Dean was looking down somberly, obviously trying to fight down a well of emotion. He slowly raised his eyes to meet Sam’s. 

“I’m sorry, Sammy,” he said earnestly, “I’m sorry that I hurt you, I’m sorry that I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault, I’m sorry that … that I scare you sometimes. I’m sorry that I still act like Dad. And you don’t have to forgive me, not for everything, not right away.”

Sam breathed out, he felt a weight lifting off his chest. For so long he had been carrying guilt that didn’t belong to him and finally he was starting to feel like he had permission to let it go.

“But Sam,” Dean continued, “I was never going to give up on you. I don’t know what happened to that voicemail, but I need you to believe me. You’re my brother, and there’s nothing you could ever do to change that. There is no line, no conditions, I have your back. Always.”  

And, for some reason, Sam started to believe him. He knew the extents to which their lives could be manipulated, he knew how desperately Heaven and Hell had wanted him to break that seal. Maybe someone had changed the recording somehow, meaning to push him over the edge. Whatever had happened, Dean was adamant that he hadn’t said what Sam remembered. There was no final straw. 

“Thank you, Dean,” Sam said, because he wasn’t going to say, “it’s alright,” because it still wasn’t. And he wasn’t going to say “I forgive you” because … there was a lot to forgive. But this was an important step. 

Dean nodded in understanding. They stood in silence for a moment, neither knowing quite what to say, then Dean turned to leave. 

“Listen, Dean,” Sam said hesitantly, “I think it would be … healthy for us to take some time away from each other. Nothing permanent but just … a break.”

Dean pursed his lips and Sam was worried he would reject the idea, but he just said, “yeah, yeah I think you’re right.”

Sam sighed in relief, “Um… Eileen and I can take off for a bit –”

“No,” Dean said, “No, you stay here with Jack.” Sam met his gaze and Dean quickly added, “I mean … if you don’t mind. It’s just … Cas and I have a few things we should probably discuss and I … I’m trying not to shout so much in front of the kid.” He looked chagrined, probably because of all the shouting he’d just done, which had likely been heard by everyone in the bunker. 

Sam smiled a little bit, glad that Dean was trying to be less authoritative, and at the thought of Dean and Cas starting to unravel their own messy history. With the help of Eileen’s outside perspective, Sam had really started seeing all the unhealthy patterns they’d been caught up in. 

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” he said, “lets run it by Eileen and Cas and see how everyone feels.”

“Great,” Dean said, “I’m just gonna –” he started heading toward the hallway, likely to his room, but he paused, “I really am sorry, Sam.”

Sam nodded in response, “I know that now Dean, I believe you.”

Dean looked like he might have more to say, then thought better of it, responded with a nod of his own, and left Sam standing in the kitchen. 

Although the conversation had been … turbulent, to say the least, Sam felt good. They certainly hadn’t said everything that needed to be said, and obviously overcoming their unhealthy patterns would take time and effort but … Sam felt like they had hope. And he finally felt like he had permission to search for happiness outside of his codependent relationship with his brother.

[mittensmorgul]

Hello Mittens! Has anyone touched on how Cas could be feeling after finding out Eileen was brought back? Like, is he going to resent her/Sam a little for not bringing back Jack?

Oh gosh, I haven’t seen anyone discussing that specifically.

But Cas looked so concerned about her resurrection. There wasn’t time with Sam’s predicaments (telling Cas about their search for Chuck and Lilith, and Cas having a potential immediate, albeit dangerous, lead that ended up with Sam nearly dying, Cas engaging in a bit of shady negotiation to save his life, and coming away with Sam possibly having hit on a route to the solution to their problems... plus Cas’s interpersonal drama with Dean which is why he returned to the bunker in the first place... first question he asked when he arrived was “Where’s Dean?”... 

heck this started as a parenthetical, but it’s getting too long, so I’m breaking this up. :’D

So Cas seemed ready, since he was the one who walked away, to at least open a dialogue with Dean on his return. Even if it was Cas just laying down his conditions for returning (nothing changes if he takes himself out of the game, so he’s back to help, but they need to resolve their differences, much like Sam and Dean were at back in s9 post-Gadreel... with the whole “we can work together, but as for being brothers... >.>”), he seemed like he was prepared to face Dean right away, you know?

So why was Cas so hesitant by the end of the episode, when Dean finally returned from his “Drive to clear his head” that Sam told him Dean had gone on? Cas had tried to call Dean to tell him about Sam’s crisis, and Dean hadn’t answered. He apparently hadn’t even returned Cas’s call before he showed back up at the bunker and he’d had a six hour drive from Texhoma). Dean didn’t know if Sam was even okay by the time he returned, you know? And Cas would’ve told him that if he’d actually called him back. So Dean hadn’t returned his calls, even when it was directly about Sam’s health. What hope did Cas have, when Cas had been at least partly responsible for Sam being hurt in the first place, you know? Which was the accusation that led Cas to declare it was time for him to move on in the first place...

(yes I remember this was about Eileen, but it’s also about Cas’s state of mind and how he’s confined by the circumstances... this is all relevant to how Cas would feel about anything rn)

So he may have shown up at the bunker ready and willing to talk to Dean, to begin reconciling, but ~everything that happened in the episode~ made him doubt how well received any sort of personal reconciliation might be. Especially in the face of Sam’s revelations about Chuck.

Basically, Cas has backburnered A LOT of emotional stuff in this episode.

INCLUDING Eileen’s resurrection, and what clearly appeared to be some serious questions and possibly reservations about her being alive again. Sam’s “one time thing” comment didn’t seem to appease or encourage him, but again, they have more pressing things to worry about first.

Between the THEN scenes of this episode, and Cas’s reactions, the show seems to be at least putting forth the suggestion that Eileen might only be alive... because of Sam’s connection to Chuck. If the bullet Chuck had described as “intent” before was made of Sam’s soul, and it has created a “bridge” of sorts between them that have been enabling Sam’s visions into Chuck’s process and now even more directly into Chuck’s actual memories while his soul was “stretched” in this episode, what else might be traveling FROM CHUCK into Sam? We know the WOUND created by the Equalizer “goes both ways,” but it wasn’t Chuck’s intent that created the “bullet” that inflicted the wound, and both he and Sam continue to live with a wound from a gun that was supposed to deliver DEATH, and not just an annoying shoulder injury, you know? What has the gun actually fired here? Is that what gave Sam the power to make Eileen’s spirit flesh? Or was it actually Rowena’s spell? We just don’t know.

Even if it was a “one time use” spell, we truly do not know what this means for Eileen. Cas doesn’t know, because he hasn’t been told how Sam brought her back. But he did start with Eileen’s soul, standing right there, on the spot.

The spell wouldn’t have worked for Mary unless she was willing to leave Heaven. It wouldn’t have worked for Kevin unless they’d been able to find him again, and who knows where he is now. It wouldn’t have worked for Rowena because she is (we assume) in Hell. And most importantly for the purposes of your question, it wouldn’t have worked for Jack because he’s in the Empty. This particular spell required the spirit to be right there, you know? And it wasn’t. I mean, can you imagine Sam telling Eileen that no, he won’t use the spell to save her, he’ll just stuff her in the rock like they’d already agreed to, because he might someday need to use the spell for someone else? I mean YIKES.

Also, I suspect that when Jack does come back from the Empty, that it will be similar to how Cas returned from the Empty in 13.04. No spell required.

So... we still don’t know how Eileen has been affected by this spell, or if its results are permanent, or if like every other resurrection ever, there might be some... unexpected consequences...

This line on the superwiki (under the minutiae of the episode page here) is actually giving me some serious concerns:

Eileen still bears the marks and bruising she incurred upon her death in 12.21 There's Something About Mary.

I’m not even sure if that’s true (I try not to study horrifically killed women on this show for my own sake), but the possibility is a bit ominous, you know? It’s giving me unwanted 2.04 and 5.15 feelings that I don’t want to explore too deeply until I have to...

But Cas seems to have some similar reservations. I mean, everything could be fine in the end, but this is what has me worried right now. I don’t think his reservations will have anything to do with resentment that Eileen is alive and Jack still is not...

But I also think that will be in part at least because I am still thinking Cas... won’t be on Earth to be resentful of anything after the next episode...

Plot is about to barrel through all our current open questions like this, you know? Midseason finale, and a lot of our current open questions will be swept off the table, as usually happens in midseason finales. So I don’t even know that it’s something that will ever become an issue. I’m waiting to see the state of things after 15.08 airs, because things tend to look very different going into the back half of a season (and I don’t even know what to expect since this is the final season and I can’t even look back at patterns of the past to make guesses, you know?) We’re just gonna have to wait this one out. :’D

Ooh, a couple more things... we learned in this episode about the “Key to Death,” which apparently unlocks ta door to Billie’s library. I don’t know specifically what they might need in Billie’s library, but Dean has already been there once. If nothing else, it might be a less traumatic way to get in touch with Billie when they need her than Dean’s usual summoning method of killing himself... >.> Or we may never hear about it again... (but I doubt it).

Which reminds me that Billie herself might have concerns about Eileen’s surprise aliveness, but again, there’s bigger issues at the moment. And we’re 7 episodes in and STILL don’t have any idea what’s going on in the Empty, with Billie and the Shadow and Jack, which I think will render all the rest of these “who’s dead and who’s resurrected” speculation moot as soon as we see what they’re actually up to there. Or at least it’ll give us better questions to ask ourselves. :’D

[winchester-with-wings]

It’s All Just a Cover - END

How It Should’ve Ended (the outline)

It’s All Just a Cover has come to an end. This was my first ever series and the story was so dang ambitious that I don’t think I ever could’ve finished it, at least in a short enough time frame where I’d still have readers interested in the story. And it’s such a shame too because I had a lot of plans for the series. A bunch of drama! But a little while back, someone reported the story on AO3 as violating copyright because of the songs in the fics, because I used so much of the lyrics. I get that. It was never my intention though. So I took it down from AO3 and figured this was the sign that the series should end.

But I didn’t want to leave anyone, at least myself...hanging. Rather than it being one of those series that just gets abandoned, I wanted to at least bring it to a close. Tell you how the story would’ve gone on.

cover art by @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala​ Hope you’re doing well!

SERIES MASTERLIST  /  YOUTUBE MASTERLIST

Pairings: Rockstar!Reader x Dean, Rockstar!Gabriel x Sam

Series Summary: You’re the lead singer in a popular cover band. Your brother Gabriel is the drummer with signature candy cane drumsticks. Balthazar is the sexed up guitarist and Gadreel is the band’s stone faced bassist and songwriter. And Castiel is the band’s manager. You’re content living the facade of a rockstar lifestyle, trying to get signed to major label. But then one night, Gabe invites Sam Winchester backstage and his brother Dean comes with. Over time, the older Winchester ultimately makes you reconsider who you are and what you want.

Beta: @autoblocked​

Mobile Masterlist  / Ko-Fi

Wanna get previews, early access and make exclusive requests? Become a Patron! You can follow my Patreon for free too as some stuff becomes public after a while. I’ll be adding a discord server benefit soon too!

Here we go!

Picking up right after Part 16.

You and Dean have confessed your love for one another. 

The very same day you have rehearsal. Gabe is smitten with Sam and dedicates the song “Heat of the Moment” to him.

You’re not feeling good. You’ve got a sore throat and can’t sing that night. So you all convince Dean to sing some covers. 

CUE all of those marvelous songs we’ve heard Jensen sing! 

http://winchester-with-wings.tumblr.com/post/161250464921

http://winchester-with-wings.tumblr.com/tagged/rockstar+AU

http://winchester-with-wings.tumblr.com/tagged/rockstar-jensen

Once you’re feeling better, you continue singing at The Bunker.

The band gets signed by Abbadon’s record label! Even though they wanted to be signed by Crowley. Gadreel says they should take the deal instead of waiting around for Crowley’s record label.

Your ex-boyfriend, Michael comes to the show. 

Michael is prissy and in line to be a CEO. He loved you but wanted you to stop singing and get a “real job.” He didn’t believe or support the band.

Before the show starts he finds you. He’s come back because he heard about the record deal. He sounds kind of like a gold digger. 

When the show begins you’re seething with rage and play it out through the set list with songs like “Criticize” by Adelita’s Way and others. 

You leave the stage abruptly because you’re getting overwhelmed like you’re about to have a panic attack. Dean gets through the crowd and gets backstage to comfort you. 

You get back on stage and play it off like you’re fine and just performing. “You ever just have those people in your life, who think they’re all that and that you should be with them? This goes out to those assholes.”

You sing “It’s not you” by Halestorm. 

Michael comes up to you at the end of the show and Dean’s at your side. 

“Is this him?” Michael asks, smug. “What does he do for a living? Bartend?”

“Unlike you, Michael I don’t judge people by their occupation or passion,” you say.

“So, not even a bartender,” says Michael.

“I’m a mechanic,” Dean answers and you hate that Michael goaded him into standing up for himself. 

“Dean, he’s not worth it. Let’s go home.”

“Oh, so I highballed you,” says Michael. “I see you’ve really come up in the world, now you’re the breadwinner.”

Dean punches him and they fight. Cas and Sam pull Dean off of Michael. Dean is pissed off that the man spoke to you like that and hurt you in the past. You’re over it quickly and have to calm him down. “It’s fine. I love you, Dean. I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been. Just forget about him.” 

And that’s the last you hear about Michael.

SABRIEL: While the band records and tours, Sam and Gabe find time to be together, falling in love.

One night when you’re at Dean’s, Sam and Gabe come out of his room at the same time. Dean and you are surprised. Sam is shy and embarrassed and insists it was only sleeping. Gabe says he’s a gentleman. “It was all over the clothes stuff.” Dean groans and is grossed out. They really did keep their clothes on. 

Dean suggests “We’re going to have set up a schedule or something because this is weird.”

Gabe and You say: “we have roommates”

Dean: “2 sets of siblings…”

You: “Gabe’s my step brother” 

Dean: “...banging each other”

Gabe: “Hey! I don’t bang. I make love.” You and Gabe share a laugh and smile.

Dean: “I know it sounded weird but you know what I mean.” Sam gives him a bitch face. 

Sam: “We didn’t do anything,” he insists

Dean gives him a “Really?” look because there’s a hickey on Sam’s neck. “At least maybe put a sock on the door.”

Gabe: “I keep my socks on.” 

Dean gives him a really surprised and weirded out look and everyone laughs

On tour, tensions rise as Ruby tries to hook Sam on drugs. She’s already convinced you to give up the facade and actually live and partly like a rockstar with alcohol and drugs.

Cas warns you to be careful with this rockstar lifestyle because you’re using drugs and not maintaining your relationship with Dean, while getting too close to others.

At the end of the tour, Dean hasn’t heard from you in a while. He goes to your hotel and finds you with Pam and Jo--the way it looks is that you’ve been high and having sex with Jo and Pam and that’s true.

Dean confronts you. You say you’re a rockstar and he knew what he was getting into. But before you signed with Abaddon “It was all just a cover.” you only pretended to be a high and drunk rockstar. But now you’ve gone full tilt and he can’t be around that.

Dean breaks up with you and leaves.

Post break-up: You use Jo for emotional reasons and Pam for sexual. 

You’re into a routine of using Pam as a booty call but we’d never see the sex, just the aftermath of you leaving Pam in bed and examining your body in the bathroom where you have hickeys and scratch marks. 

You always thought that being with a woman was supposed to be more gentle but not when you’re with Pam apparently. The sex is good but it just feels like a bandaid or something that’s numbing the ache in your chest.

Hanging out with Jo means she lends you a shoulder as you admit that you miss Dean and that you fucked up and you feel terrible because you feel like you’re taking advantage of Jo. But Jo says it’s okay. That’s what friends are for, lending support after break ups. Jo offers to stay the night so you text Pam: “Nevermind. Don’t come over.”

You share a bed with Jo and start crying. Jo pulls you in close and holds you. When you’re no longer crying, and you’ve dozed off for a minute, you both wake up and Jo dares to kiss you and you respond but then pull back. “I’m sorry. I can’t use you like this. It’s not fair to you. I love Dean. I know I hurt him and he’ll probably never forgive me but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Being with Jo also reminds you of Dean so it’s tough to imagine being with her.

You continue on with your self-destructive relationship with Pam and drugs.

You’re in a motorcycle accident and hospitalized. Dean visits you in the hospital.

Cas helps you get clean. 

Gabe and Sam are doing well and Gabe gets Sam a puppy--because obviously Sam deserves a puppy.

Sam tells you about how Dean is a wreck without you. Just works, eats, drinks, and sleeps.

Now that you’re clean the band tries to break the contract with Abbadon.

Sam finds a loophole in the contract.

But Gadreel leaves the band. He signs a solo deal with Abbadon. Metatron is his agent now, stealing him away from Castiel.

Castiel becomes the new bass player and they start playing back at Chuck’s club, The Bunker.

You beg for Dean’s forgiveness. You’re the one who screwed up and he didn’t deserve that.

You get back together.

Crowley comes around and signs them with a fair contract. You promise to stay clean.

END: Dean asks you to move in. Sam graduates and lives with Gabe who has asked Dean’s permission to propose. We have the promise of a happy future as Dean has his mother’s ring tucked away for the right moment.

------------

Tagging: @thinkwritexpress-official​ @autoblocked​ @talesoftheimpala​ @mrsbarry-allen-1031​  @gryffindorable713​ @therealcap​ @team-barry @lilyoflothlorien @littlemiss-annoying @whoopxd​ @shadowpriestess6​ @overlyobsethed​ @so-get-this-i-need-pie @castihelloboys​ @jensen-ross-snackles @cheering-you-on @beautiful-and-strange​ @hcg87 @gracehappyfeet​ @havingfunenjoyinglife​ @dontsassmecastiel​ @your-worry-home @aprofoundbondwithdean​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @its-my-perky-nipples​ @oriona75​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @faroutwinchester @xo-raven-xo-blog​ @book-loving--anime-chick​

I know it’s been a crazy long time since this was updated and I don’t even know if some of these blogs are still active but hey, if you wanted a quick closure, here ya go. otherwise, feel free to ignore :) <3 Sarah

[honey-bri-books]

Please Stay: SamCas

SPN Fic. All characters created by Eric Kripke. For your enjoyment (I hope!). Superatural fan fic, featuring Sam Winchester and Castiel.

*******

Sam browses in the Men of Letters library, searching for a particular book but not remembering the specific title. Usually, he never had to rely on writing down reminders for himself on stuff like that, but lately he’s been unable to focus. 

Dean and Castiel were stuck in the middle of a fight....again. It had been about three weeks, and though Castiel had finally come out of hiding, things almost seemed worse with the angel back home. Although, Dean had stopped stress-eating since Castiel had returned. He had switched to venting his frustrations by shooting off rounds or beating the punching bag in the bunker’s gym to a beaten pulp vs. sleeping, pretending to sleep, watching tv or listening to music, sprawled out on the couch or his bed. He even consented to trying a few of Sam’s veggie dishes, and there were less candy bar wrappers littering the hallways. But man was he angry!

Sam sighed as he guessed at the volume he ‘maybe’ was looking for, choosing a random assortment of books and turning into the next aisle to see if.....[thunk]

SAM: Ouch! Cas, what are you doing down there?! Sam had stubbed a toe against a pile of hard cover books, next to which Castiel was sitting cross-legged, immersed in whatever it was he was reading. He looks up innocently at Sam, bags under his eyes, a now faded hue of blue. He’s never looked more defeated in all the time Sam’s known him.

CASTIEL: Sam, I’m sorry. I meant to gather these off the floor and move to reading at one of the tables...or to my room. Castiel starts to collect his books, struggling by trying to grab too many at once. Sam sighs exasperatedly and sets his books on a nearby table to help Cas. He looks at the cover of the book that Castiel was reading when he found him and raises an eyebrow in surprise.

SAM: Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery. What’s that doing in the bunker’s collection? They are both moving to the table with two separate piles of books. On closer inspection, Sam realizes there are several titles with plastic coverings and barcodes on them. When did you go to the public library? Why didn’t you ask me to come with? Castiel blushes, avoiding Sam’s gaze.

CASTIEL: I...I’ve been going when you and Dean are asleep. I was there this morning around 3am. Sam looks disapproving.

SAM: And that means you had to break in, in order to get to...

CASTIEL: Sam, the most convenient time for me to do anything pleasurable or self-serving is when most of your kind are asleep. That way, I’m not bothering anyone.

SAM: Our kind, Cas. You’re a human being too, you know. Don’t argue with me about this again... Castiel rolls his eyes. 

CASTIEL: In any case, I didn’t want to bother you, specifically. After Dean said that you and I shouldn’t.. Cas cuts himself off by pressing his lips together. He hangs his head. Sam guesses the issue but presses Cas to come clean.

SAM: What did Dean do? Did he say anything about us not....Did Dean tell you to stay away from me, or something. Cas looks up at Sam sadly, his face pained.

CASTIEL: He doesn’t want me corrupting you. He doesn’t want me poisoning you, like I did him. Castiel sits down, tired, depressed. Dean thinks that you’re in danger, just by being in the same room with me. That I’ll kill you like I did your Mother.... he takes a book and examines the photo cover, tracing the lines of the lettering with his finger. He’s trained himself to hold the tears in his eyes by now, but his lips quiver all the same. Sam sits down next to him.

SAM: Don’ t listen to him. You’re too hard on yourself, and think for some reason that everything evil in the world is a direct reflection on you. I really don’t get it. Dean and I have done just as much bad as you have, maybe even on a worse degree. It kills me to see you hurt yourself like this. Cas, please, look at me. 

Cas looks at Sam, cautiously. Sam’s never ceased to forgive Castiel for his sins, for getting things wrong. The warmth and love that he’s received from the younger Winchester in all the time they’ve known oneother has been overwhelming, confusing, and very much undeserved in Castiel’s mind. 

If Cas could go back and change things for the better, he’d start by leaving Sam and Dean to each other, and staying the Hell out of their lives. Now, it was too late to erase their memories of him. Not without causing permanent damage. Sam puts a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, comfortingly. 

SAM: I need you here. And Dean...Dean’s a mess whenever you’re gone for too long of a stretch. And when you died the last time...it hurt to be around him. He’s not human without you. Cas looks surprised. He shakes his head and rubs his eyes with his hands.

CASTIEL: Sam, please don’t tell me these things. It’s bad enough thinking he doesn’t care anymore, but....the fact that he still might, that’s even worse. 

SAM: I don’t understand. Sam can feel Castiel’s shoulders trembling. Castiel tries to look at anything but Sam. 

CASTIEL: It doesn’t seem to matter at this point whether I’m in Dean’s life or out of it. Anything I do, anything I think, no matter where I am... I’m always hurting him. I can’t seem to ever succeed in killing myself, I can’t run away, I can’t stay...If I go out to fight, Dean yells at me for being careless and nearly getting myself killed! If I try and stay safe, he slams me against the wall and shouts, asking where the hell I’ve been when you’ve both been cleaning up my mess?! I just want...I only want... Castiel’s breathing is dangerously labored. Sam takes Cas into his arms, pulling him into a hug and Castiel struggles against him, weakly, No, please...don’t hold me!...Castiel fights to keep the tears back, his chest rising and falling as if he’s struggling to breathe. I’m hurting you both! I can’t stop...please!.. Castiel squeezes his eyes shut, trying to make the world go away. Sam’s never felt such pain, in his life. He does his best to shush Castiel, who finally goes limp in Sam’s arms, surrendering to his tears. I only want you both to be happy...

****

Sam holds Castiel in his bed. Cas begged to leave the bunker, before Dean got back from the bar. Sam actually had to threaten Cas by putting a knife to his own throat. It was the only way to get Castiel to shut up. Sam pretended that it might be a good idea to search his own body again for any residual angel grace. If Castiel was leaving, he would need it to be strong, so Sam would have to dig around his insides with a knife for anything left of Gadreel’s. When Cas begged Sam to put the knife away, Sam made a deal with him. No one leaves that night and Castiel watches over Sam as he sleeps. Then, and only then, would Sam forget about cutting himself open. Castiel had run into Sam’s arms begging for forgiveness.

When Castiel laid down in Sam’s bed, his breathing calmed and his eye lids fluttered shut. Sam laid down next to Cas and pulled him into his arms. As Sam predicted he would, Castiel fell asleep, immediately. While not all that comforting, considering sleep for angels usually meant something was seriously wrong, Sam was relieved he had prevented Castiel from running away again. 

*****

Later, before Sam drifts off to sleep himself he hears Dean in the hallway, home from the bar. His stride sounds uneven, the stench of alcohol leaving a trail behind him as Dean stumbled to his own room. Sam swears he hears his brother stop where Castiel’s door would be located, for a good length of time, before continuing down the hall. Sam closes his eyes. They should all consider each other as family, by now. Sam longed to play the role of slightly annoyed brother, vs whatever his role was now. In his mind, Dean and Castiel had so much love for each other, it was hurting them both. They’ve never had a relationship as meaningful and true as the one they had with each other, so they had nothing to compare it to. They had no way of really understanding how much they loved one another and needed each other. They were afraid. 

Sam knew that he would never act as Best Man to Dean’s wedding. Would never see his brother with his arms tangled up around the love of his life. He would never roll his eyes telling Cas and Dean to ‘get a room’, because they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. 

He was used to being the go-between, and this situation was nothing new to him. And Sam was getting burnt out from it. He nuzzled up against Cas, who seemed to be having a nightmare of sorts. Every now and then Castiel would murmer No...Dean, please....don’t hurt Dean...Sam...Sam’msorry...sorry...Love you...love you Jack...Jack.....don’t hurt Jack, don’t hurt them....Please...Sam kisses Castiel’s forehead and prays quickly before falling asleep.

SAM Praying: Cas Baby, you have to try again. Dean needs you, he misses you. Please, don’t give up. We can’t lose you again...Please stay.

The End.

[klove0511]

The Angel With Nine Lives

Pairings: Sam/Castiel

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Summary: In the wake of Dean and Gadreel's departures, Sam and Cas return to the bunker to search for a way to track Metatron. When Castiel vanishes and a cat invites itself into the bunker to stay, however, Sam must figure out what has happened to his angel.

Fic on AO3

Art Masterpost (go give them some love!)

Huge thanks to my wonderful artist @dmsilvisart​ for their lovely art prompt and header! I had a ton of fun working on this project, and I have to say, I rather enjoy the story that came out of it. Also a big thank you to everyone that looked this over for me before posting--dmsilvisart, MTC5, and my ever-patient wife. It's definitely a better story thanks to your feedback. And thanks to @sastielbb​ for hosting this event!

If you like the art, go to the art masterpost and give dmsilvisart some love!

Fic under the cut

Dust flew as Sam opened another box in the storage room. Everything in here was unorganized, marginally controlled chaos. It seemed like the Men of Letters had received the two dozen boxes as a bulk shipment shortly before they were destroyed, and so no one had had the time to sort the new magical items. Everything had documentation somewhere, but whoever had packed the boxes clearly had his mind on other things because none of it was with its intended item.

Sam coughed and reached into the box. He hoped something in this room would be helpful in tracking angels, because he and Cas had scoured the rest of the bunker over the last week and come up with nothing useful.

Cas was upstairs retreading old ground in case they’d missed something, leaving Sam to sort and brood in peace.

He didn’t want to think about Dean or what Dean had done, but it was difficult to think of anything else. Instead of presenting Gadreel as an option, giving Sam the choice to choose to live, Dean had decided Sam couldn’t be trusted to make the “right” decision. Again. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was the mind rape or the lack of trust that hurt worst, but both had given him nightmare fuel for days, interspersed, of course, with memories of his own hands burning out Kevin’s eyes.

Sam pulled out several books on demons and set them aside, trying to divert his train of thought. It led down a dark path, one Castiel had already pulled him off once. ‘Nothing is worth losing you,’ he’d said. Sam couldn’t say he agreed, exactly, but he thought Cas had made the right call during the grace extraction. It was doubtful they would have had enough grace for the spell regardless, and then Sam would have died for nothing. The least he could do was make his death meaningful.

The box was empty, having contained only books. Several looked interesting and useful for hunting in general, but nothing appeared to be relevant to their current mission. He sighed and cracked open the next box, coughing and waving away the accompanying dust. Pausing before he dug into the contents, he took a moment to marvel at how remarkable it was that Castiel, angel of the Lord, could place such high value on the life of someone like Sam. He couldn’t have really meant what he’d said, right? Not literally. Then again, Cas was the most literal person Sam had ever met. The words ran through his mind again. ‘Nothing is worth losing you.’ It made Sam wonder, just a bit, if Cas could, if Cas did feel more for him than friendship, than brotherhood. If he might look at Sam the way Sam had seen him for years.

Sam pulled a statue of a veiled woman out of the box and frowned at it. The hair on his arms stood on end, and the air was heavy, like trying to breathe soup. The statue emanated power. The Men of Letters were usually good about properly packaging cursed objects—he’d found several curse boxes already and set them aside until he could find the documentation that went with them. Theoretically, that meant that whatever this thing was, it at least wasn’t cursed. He was placing it on the table beside the box when Castiel entered, and he turned to face the angel, statue still in hand.

“Did you find something?” Sam asked.

Castiel frowned at the stack of empty boxes in the corner and said, “Sam, when is the last time you ate?”

Sam shrugged. “This morning, I think. Why?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “What day is it?”

Sam looked at the angel, perplexed. “Tuesday. Cas, what’s going on?”

Cas sighed and glared at Sam. “It’s Wednesday morning. I assume you’ve been down here all night?”

Sam looked around at the piles of boxes. He didn’t feel like he’d spent a whole day in here, but it was always possible. He’d certainly gotten a lot done.

Cas pressed his lips into a line. “I’m going to the store. What food we have left has gone bad. Should I bother suggesting you rest in the meantime?”

One side of Sam’s mouth tugged upward into a fond smile. “You’re right. I’ll go grab a nap and a shower, then something to eat. Deal?”

Cas nodded and stalked away. Sam huffed a laugh. He didn’t try to annoy the angel, not like Dean did, but Cas was pretty adorable when he was irritated—like a disgruntled cat. His mother hen impression was pretty cute too. In any case, Cas was right. Sam checked his phone and confirmed he’d been awake nearly thirty hours. Finally setting the statue down, he went and crashed in his room. He was asleep almost instantly.

Four hours later, Sam’s stomach angrily grumbling woke him from a nightmare where he was being chased by a Lammasu—a winged lion he’d read about in some textbook somewhere but he’d been lucky enough to never encounter in person. He shook off the remnants of the dream and grabbed some food from the kitchen—Cas had obviously made it back from his grocery run at some point—then stopped for a quick shower before making his way back to the storeroom to keep working. He hadn’t seen Cas, but the bunker was big and it was easy to spend hours alone when there were only the two of them around. As he got back to work in the storeroom, Sam set an alarm on his phone so he wouldn’t work through the night again.

Barely an hour later, he heard a banging that seemed to be coming from the front door. Curious and wary, he went to open it, pulling his gun as he went.

He opened the door, leveling the gun at…nobody? Confused, he looked around, then down as alarmed meowing started. Sitting in front of the door and looking extremely put out was a Siamese cat with cream fur except where it darkened to a rich chocolate on its legs, ears, face and tail. It blinked stunning blue eyes at him and grew quiet as he slowly lowered his gun.

Baffled, he moved to close the door and return to his work when the cat darted inside, nearly tripping him on its way. It started its chatter again as it descended the stairs, and Sam could swear there was intelligence in its eyes as it stopped and looked at him with a quizzical head tilt from the doorway leading to the bedrooms, then padded away down the hall.

Sam ran a hand through his hair. Apparently he had a cat now. Dean was going to be pissed when he finally decided to come home.

 Two days later, Sam stared at his phone, willing it to ring. Cas was missing and not answering his phone. After the third voicemail, Sam had made himself stop calling, busying himself with researching cats and purchasing supplies, but there were only so many catnip mice and string toys he could order before he remembered that his brother had betrayed and abandoned him and his best friend had vanished without a word. He’d noticed yesterday morning when the angel hadn’t appeared for his usual cup of coffee, but he honestly wasn’t sure how long the angel had been gone. He hadn’t seen Cas since he’d left for the grocery store. The fresh food meant he’d returned, but there was no sign of when he’d left again.

The cat had made itself at home in the meantime, mostly following Sam around and staring at him with its unsettling gaze or meowing loudly at him when he didn’t go to bed at a reasonable time. It was an affectionate thing, though, always purring at the slightest touch from Sam and pushing its head under his hand. In fact, it knocked Sam out of his reverie by jumping onto the seat next to him and head butting his arm. Sam idly reached down to scratch behind its ears as he decided to try Cas one more time.

Pressing the phone to his ear as he waited for it to connect, he absently stroked the soft fur next to him. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Cas’s phone ringing. Looking around for the source, he realized after a moment that the cat was ringing. Sam sat, frozen, glancing between the ringing cat and his phone. The cat rolled its eyes, then mashed a paw against Sam’s phone, ending the call. It just looked at him before giving him an exasperated meow.

“Cas?” Sam whispered.

The cat chirped and trilled, arching its back before slamming its head into Sam’s side.

Sam was bewildered. Of all the crazy things that had happened to them, this might be the weirdest. Even that time Dean had sort of turned into a dog he hadn’t literally turned into a dog. He knew Cas wasn’t going to be able to answer him, but he had to ask. “Cas, how did you get turned into a cat?”

 Cas could not figure out what had happened. He was certainly not a cat, but Sam persisted in his assertion that he was. Sam was not ill or hallucinating, as Castiel had checked—several times, in fact. The only other feasible explanation was that there was magic at work. But who would bespell an item to make one perceive others as felines?

His research into tracking Gadreel and Metatron was going to have to wait until he fixed whatever had happened to Sam, who was out searching for leads he was certainly not going to find. Cas sat at one of the library tables, surrounded by books on illusion magic, and he stared at his phone. Dean would want to know his brother was under the influence of a spell. He’d be angry if he found out something had happened to Sam, but he would be furious if he didn’t hear it from Castiel. Still, if Castiel could fix whatever was wrong before Dean found out, then he would never need to know. He was sure Sam would prefer that option, though Sam was still unaware that he was the one under the influence of magic.

The angel still hesitated, thumb hovering over Dean’s name. No. He would fix this. Dean would be angry if he found out, but Sam would never forgive him. Not now, when the human was already so vulnerable. As Sam had said, they got this.

Sighing, Cas pocketed his phone and pulled one of the books toward him. Sam would be unable to help research this, so Cas ought to get started. He tried not to think about how good Sam’s hand had felt ruffling his hair before he’d realized it was Cas he was petting.

 Sam was exhausted. He’d canvassed half of Lebanon trying to figure out what had happened to Cas. No one had seen anything suspicious, though several people remembered the “handsome man in a trench coat.” Two had inquired about whether Cas was single, and three had told him they hoped he found his boyfriend soon. Sam wasn’t sure what had given them that particular impression, but he didn’t question it. People thought he and Dean were a couple all the time.

His next step was searching news outlets for anything that sounded like witches or cursed objects, his two leading theories at the moment. If that yielded nothing, then it was time to hit the books again.

Three days and four failed spells later, even Sam could admit he was running himself into the ground. He could scarcely protest when Cas decided to lay across the books he was reading (rereading), effectively interrupting his research. The angel twitched his tail and released a low grumble when Sam attempted to dislodge him. Admitting defeat, Sam raised his hands in surrender and pushed back his chair.

“You’re right; I need a break. I’m going to go watch a movie or something in my room. You want to join me?” At least Castiel could still understand him, though he missed the sound of the angel’s voice.

Cas tilted his head in a manner so familiar, Sam almost laughed. Then he hopped off the table and trotted past Sam, briefly turning and waiting at the entrance to the library. Sam grinned and followed the cat to his room.

 Castiel was glad Sam had decided to spend the evening relaxing, but he was unclear on the social protocol of where he should sit now that Sam perceived him as feline. Normally, he would use the desk chair in Sam’s room, but for reasons he could not articulate he found himself reluctant to sit so far away. Perhaps it had something to do with how much Sam had begun touching him the last few days. Even now that he was aware that the “cat” was Castiel, Sam seemed to instinctively want to reach out and pet, running his hand through Castiel’s hair or down his back. At one point he had hoped that the spell would be unable to resolve the impossibilities that physically touching created—he was, after all, decidedly NOT covered in fur—but that hope had been dashed days ago. Still, he was enjoying the proximity to one of his favorite humans and wished for it to continue.

Sam ultimately settled the matter for him by patting the bed next to his leg, inviting the angel to join him. Castiel hesitated a moment longer, knowing that Sam was unaware of just how little space there would be on the bed with both of them there and wondering if indulging himself was strictly ethical in this case. Then, he decided that he ought to take the invitation at face value and settled himself shoulder to shoulder with Sam.

A few minutes into the movie (Castiel had not bothered to pay attention to the title. There were people doing illogical things and very few explosions) Sam began absently stroking Cas’s leg alarmingly near his groin. The angel whined in a most undignified way as arousal jolted through him, and he wondered what noise Sam had heard because he has immediately snatched his hand away as though burned.

“Sorry,” Sam said. “I don’t—I wasn’t thinking.” He held himself stiffly, staring at his hands in his lap and picking at one of his cuticles.

Cas’s inability to communicate with Sam had never been more frustrating. Worse was that he had no idea how the spell would interpret anything he said or did. Still, he had to try. Seeing Sam look so guilty was heartbreaking. He liked when Sam touched him. In theory, that ought to be simple enough to communicate. Gently, he lifted Sam’s hand and replaced it on his leg.

Sam stared at his hand for a moment, then began to stroke again. Castiel sighed in contentment. Sam looked surprised, then pleased.

 Sam looked at the purring cat draped across his lap. He may have no idea how to turn Cas back, but he would figure it out. In the meantime, he could let himself enjoy this. Words seemed to get in the way so often, and with Cas in this form, well, things seemed easier. He kept petting Cas on accident, which would have been a problem if the angel didn’t seem to like it so much. Sam, for his part, was enjoying the physical contact more than he wanted to admit. He hadn’t had much of that in the last couple years.

Closing his eyes, he listened to the movie drone on while he relished the warmth of the cat on his lap. The soft rumble of Cas’s purring stirred something Sam hadn’t felt in a long time. So long, in fact, that he had trouble identifying it, but he thought it might be happiness. As he ran his fingers over the soft fur, he wondered if Cas would also enjoy an evening like this in his usual form.

 Cas read the spell description for the fourth time. It had taken days, but he had finally found a document in that chaotic storeroom Sam had been unpacking that seemed to explain Sam’s affliction. It was a spell of true sight, designed to help one describe their feelings for another. A magical metaphor, as it were. A naïve young witch had cast the spell on a statue, a gift for her beloved, and it had bounced from owner to owner, wreaking havoc until the Men of Letters confiscated it. Castiel had found his answer. He just wasn’t sure he liked what it implied.

Many had denigrated his relationship with the Winchesters over the years. Mostly angels, but Crowley and others too. He’d even heard himself referred to as the Winchesters’ pet on occasion. He had simply never thought Sam thought of him that way. He’d certainly never expressed such a feeling in Castiel’s presence.

It was painful, realizing his affection for the younger Winchester was one-sided, but it didn’t change anything. He would figure out how to break the spell on Sam, then he would go find Gadreel and Metatron. Find a way to make them pay. He would take what affection he could get, even if it was just as a faithful pet.

 Sam stared down at the spell bowl in disbelief. That should have worked. He’d been sure this time. He’d finally found a spell claiming to dispel all transformation magic. It had been powerful but surprisingly simple. He hadn’t screwed it up. Which meant Cas was probably going to be stuck in this form forever.

He sank into his chair, resting his head in his hands. This wasn’t happening. He wasn’t losing the only friend he had left to a stupid spell. Not when ‘Nothing is worth losing you’ kept ringing through his head. Sam wasn’t so sure about himself, but nothing was worth losing Cas.

As if on cue, the cat angel hopped up on the table and headbutted him. Sam automatically began to pet him and scratch behind the ears. It was soothing, and so was Castiel’s quiet, rumbling purr. Unfortunately, it was also a reminder of Sam’s most recent failure. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t give up. That’s not what they did. That’s not what he did. There was an answer out there, somewhere. It just obviously wasn’t in the Men of Letters library. He tried not to think about how that significantly lengthened the odds of his finding a way to save Cas.

Running his hand down the length of the cat’s back, making Cas arch up into his touch, Sam pushed himself away from the table. “Come on. Time for bed.”

Settled in Sam’s room as they’d done every night for the last four days, with Cas pressed up against his leg and purring contentedly, Sam couldn’t help murmuring, “You really do make a fantastic cat, Cas.”

The purring stopped, and Cas lifted his head to look at Sam, wide blue eyes unblinking.

“I mean it,” Sam said. “I read that scientists think they domesticated themselves, just decided they liked people and moved in. And they’re all tiny badasses, stupidly brave even in the face of an overwhelming threat. I must’ve watched a dozen videos this week of cats chasing off bears, snakes, even an alligator once. They’re incredible, just like you.” Sam smiled fondly, then sighed, picking at an abused cuticle. “Look, I know this sucks, but I promise I’m not going to let you be stuck like this. Cats are awesome, and you are such a cat, but you are so, so much more than a house pet.”

Sam blinked, and suddenly his bed was much more crowded. Their bodies were pressed together in a long line from shoulder to knee, and Sam’s hand was resting remarkably high on Castiel’s thigh. Cas blinked up at him, a dopey, pleased smile on his face. Sam was proud of himself for not startling so badly that he fell off the bed.

“Cas? What the hell?”

Confusion flashed across the angel’s face, then his expression grew serious. “Sam? Can you see me?”

“I could always see you.”

Cas glared minutely. “But now you see me, not a cat. You can understand me.”

Sam nodded, still trying to figure out what had broken the spell—a delayed reaction from his spell, maybe?

Cas ended up explaining but made no move to leave Sam’s personal space. Sam, for his part, was still too stunned to trust his legs.

“So, you’ve been sleeping in my bed like this the whole time?” Sam said.

“You seemed to enjoy my presence.” Cas was matter-of-fact, unapologetic, and it made something flip-flop in Sam’s chest.

He grinned. “I did. I do, but, Cas, this bed isn’t really big enough for both of us.”

“Oh.” Cas frowned, doubt and insecurity playing over his face for the first time in the conversation. Awkwardly, he began to roll away until Sam snagged his wrist.

“Maybe tomorrow we can get me a bigger bed?” Sam said cautiously. He wasn’t sure Cas would understand what he was proposing, if it was even something an angel could want with someone like him, but he was feeling brave.

Confusion flicked across Cas’s face before understanding dawned. “Oh. I would like that very much.”

Sam smiled. “Right. Good.”

Cas shifted awkwardly again. “What, um, what would you like me to do tonight?”

Sam looked at their feet, how they barely fit side by side on the small bed. He imagined, for a moment, what it would be like without the warm line at his back that he’d been enjoying for days without really thinking about it. More comfortable, probably, but oh so lonely. “Stay. If you want. I’d—I’d like it if you stayed.” He hoped he hadn’t sounded too desperate.

Joy lit up his angel’s face as he replied, “I would like that very much, too.”

[gertshortforgertricia]

So. It's no longer 2013 but I'm here once again to exhortate (is that a valid word, doesn't matter because it is now) about Dean Winchester. As is plenty obvious from my page, he is my favourite character on "Supernatural" and pretty much anywhere. That's not to say that Sam and Cas are NOT good, of course not. They're amazing, and I'd wager that Dean Winchester would be the first to tear me a new one if I ever said otherwise.

Now that, that's said, here's the thing: just because they're "heroes", the "good guys", our favourites, doesn't mean they don't have flaws. Obviously, they do. They can lash out ("I'd want to hunt you"), say hurtful things ("freak, monster"//"yeah? why does that always seem to be you?" etcetera), make rash decisions (allowing Gadreel to possess Sam, to heal him),, [notice by the way, these are all Dean examples,, I'm trying to prove a point, here] but at the end of the day, they're human. Sam and Cas also have their share of less-than-great decisions and choice of words. Still, through it all TFW manage to forgive each other, and have each others' backs where it counts.

Sam and Dean and Cas are 3 very different kinds of characters and their dynamics and attitudes with/to each other are quite varied. Sam loves and trusts Dean and would die for him (and he has), but doesn't necessarily respect him all that much ("Dean's weak, he can't do it//It frustrates me when you'd rather run than fight"). Cas is the same way with Dean, "... maybe but at least then I won't have to watch you fail". Dean loves Sam and Cas and would die for them in a heartbeat (again, he has!) but he's never quite trusted Sam the same after the demon blood; Cas, Dean takes him for granted quite a bit ("baby in a trenchcoat" for e.g.) and Sam/Cas, well we know they're family, and each of them would go the extra mile to look out for the other. They're probably the most equal yet kept apart characters in the core of Team Free Will.

Alright. Since that's done, let me move on to the focus of this post: my dude, my boy, Dean Winchester. He's funny, loyal, wears his heart on his sleeve, is a huge adorkable geek and is unmistakably "beautiful". But let's look beyond that.

From Season 1, we know the kind of upbringing he's had, or rather, not had. He's only ever had his father and his brother, and the memory of his mother burning on the ceiling. His constant fear is losing them. That they'll die or leave, and somehow, somehow it'll be his fault. At 18, when he's 22, his brother leaves home. And hey, I get it. I get Sam wanting to leave, he's never seen family the way Dean has, how could he have? He was a lonely kid, two lonely kids on lockdown and hunting,,, and Sam didn't get the crusts cut off his PB&J, the way his brother did - maybe it was easier then, for Sam, not easy, but EASIER for him than Dean, who had 4 years of child's life and then was torn down, a dream that dissipated into black smoke, sulphur and bullet wounds. Sam hadn't had that to lose, at least. So he left, to go to college, John slammed the door and Dean was left, alone with a father who thought he was a disappointment. And he went on believing this, internalizing this, knowing KNOWING he was seen as hardly more than "Daddy's blunt little instrument" - I'm not saying John didn't love his older son, he sold his soul for him but you can't deny that in Sam, John so everything he used to be and in Dean, he saw Mary, everything he'd lost in that fire.

Skip to 2005, when Dean pulled Sam out of the second fire, for a minute there he saw his mother on the ceiling. And for a minute there, he looked at his brother and his heart broke because he knew that he'd damned his brother to his father's love and revenge,,, and he wouldn't be able to save them, like he believed he hadn't been able to do for the last 22 odd years. But he vowed, to stick with him, to do the worst to save him to rescue him, to help him, because he didn't not die in that fire just to lose his Sammy. So yes, he sold his soul, he tricked his brother to have an angel possess him to save his life. He was tough on Sam with the demon blood, berating him, trying to beat it down: it wasn't pleasant, it wasn't kind and it left a bitter taste in all of our mouths - I'm not justifying it, but when you remember John asked Dean to KILL Sam if he ever became xxx, that monster, the "Adversary" - it was Dean's worst nightmare and it's only natural he would do the "very worst" to deter his brother from the dark path which would end with nothing less than a bullet hole through his brain. And he couldn't do that, how could he? Maybe it was selfishly motivated, saving his brother's life, maybe Sam didn't need it but Dean did. He needed that purpose. It was "always his job. Watch out for (his) pain-in-the-ass little brother". And if you're gonna grudge this guy, for that,, I have nothing to say to you.

He's strong as hell. He went to Hell, was tortured and did the torturing, he unwittingly started the chain of events that ended up pushing Sam into the Cage, that nearly leveled the entire world - and he lives with that guilt, every fucking day. And then he wakes up every morning, again and again, to save the day, save humanity, from a dozen to a billion people,, all while remembering that once upon a time, his brother thought he was "too weak", "a good little soldier", "without a mind of his own" and his best-friend, once called him really early on "a burnt broken shell of a man". The worst thing? He might be healing a bit better, but the hits keep on coming: Endverse!Dean, MoC, Deanmon, Michael ~ they just realized versions of what he believes himself to be at his core. A monster. A too-far-gone man that can't be saved, but desperately clings to the few good things, hoping, this, this might save him. But he never finds that it does. Because each of it slips from between his fingers, leaving only blood and grime and dusty tears behind: Jo, Ellen, Bobby, John, Mary, Benny, Charlie, Kevin, Sam, Cas (× 10), Crowley, Jack, Rowena, Ketch ... when does it end? He's haunted by the thought of how it will end. And there's only one right answer in his mind, damaged or not.

Guns blazing.

Dean Winchester is angry, hurting, grieving, loving, surviving and fighting all at once. In the middle of all this he manages to grin and joke, and have that twinkle in his eyes when a song he likes comes on the radio, when he makes a pun that Sam sighs amusedly at, when Cas makes a face or when Jack stuffs his face with nougat, when what's precious left of his family is around him, and for the briefest moment content.

It's not easy, Dean's existence. And I haven't even accounted for the infinite other things that weigh on him, have the capacity to tear him to shreds if he dwells on it for too long. The people he couldn't save, his thankless job, the dreams he's sacrificed for this work, the way he's been screwed with by an end number of things ... Dean's not just "funny", his humour keeps him from buckling under the strain of his responsibility, his agony, his guilt. He's not just "loyal", he's unhealthily co-dependent upon his brother and vice versa because most people could understand how they've grown up, and yes it's not always a great thing, but hey, cut him some slack, huh? And as for, "wears his heart on this sleeve", he does. His heart is the most beautiful thing about Dean Winchester. It's what makes him human, despite the scars and wounds and cracks hastily mended - and y'all can fight me on it.

****

Okay, this was a super long text post which I felt the compelling need to write just because I feel Dean isn't appreciated enough for the sheer strength of his "game face" and bashed all too often, for what used to be his black-and-white perception of the world around him. Granted, he's had his less than proud moments but then haven't we all? Aight, that's it :)

Peace out bitches ♡

[bamby0304]

Apple of my Eye- Ch.12

Series Masterlist

Summary: When Sam and Dean were pulled back into their world, you were left behind. Stuck in the hustle bustle of Hollywood life, you have no choice but to play along, leaving almost all of your old life behind. Seven years later, when a rip in time and space opens up, you are finally able to go home… but you don’t go alone.

Warnings: Explicit language. Angst. But, like, for some reason it’s actually mostly fluff, which is gross.

Bamby

Following Dakota and Dean through the halls, walking beside Sam, you smiled happily at your daughter and her father. Your gaze focused on their hands, his large one engulfing her tiny one. There was just something about it, about them… it made your heartache in a good way.

Coming around the corner, you entered the war room and came to a stop.

Standing in the library, Jack beamed at the four of you as he gestured to the creation behind him. “Do you like it?”

The chairs to the back tables had been arranged in a way so that the blankets draped over them created a tent. Underneath were thicker blankets and pillows, all laid out to make the space more comfortable and inviting.

“We made a blanket fort!” Dakota exclaimed, tugging Dean closer. “Look!”

Dean chuckled lightly, grabbing and lifting her onto his hip as he strode over to the fort. “You did this all by yourself?”

“Jack helped,” she explained. “He was the one that moved the chairs. I wanted to throw the blankets over the table, but he made it better.”

Sam moved over to stand by his brother’s side. “It’s very cool.”

“Really? You like it?” Dakota had this excited but nervous energy about her. If the brothers liked it that would make her day, but if they didn’t it would break her heart.

“Really.” Sam nodded at her.

Keeping Dakota on his hip, Dean crouched down to get a better look. “You think we’ll all hit in there?”

“Maybe not you and Sammy. You’re both really big.”

“Yeah, we are.” Dean looked to her. “But maybe we can grab more blankets and Sam can lay out here? Pretend he’s looking up at the stars? Like he’s camping.”

“Ooh! That sounds fun. I’ve never been camping.”

Dean looked a little surprised as he stood again and turned to you. “She’s never been camping?”

“We lived in Vancouver for most of the year, and Texas in Winter… plus I was a single mother slash actress. It wasn’t exactly easy to do things we can do here,” you note.

He gave it a thought before shrugging. “Well, you’re here now, so we’re gonna go camping.”

“You hate camping,” Sam countered.

“Not with the right people.” Dean’s eyes settled on your daughter again. “And we’ve got the right people here.”

Dakota squealed. “We’re going camping?”

“Not now, sweetie.” You stepped up into the library. “Not in the fort and not outside. Not tonight. It’s too late for that.”

Her face turned down into a pout. “But Dean said-”

Cutting her off, Dean gave her a little nudge. “Listen to your mum, kiddo.”

Sighing, she nodded, giving in.

You couldn’t help but bend a little. “Okay, I tell you what. Tomorrow night we’ll all camp in here, if the brothers want to, and after we get everything done. Okay?”

“Yes!” Dakota wriggled out of Dean’s grip and landed on the ground before throwing her arms around your legs. “Thank you Mum!”

Smiling down at her, running your fingers through her hair, you looked up to the three waiting men. “Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.” Sam gave you that small sweet smile of his.

“I’ve never been camping, either. And I’ve never slept in a blanket fort.” Jack gave one of his quick and happy nods. “It should be fun.”

“Then it’s settled.” Dean clapped his hands together before scooping in to grab Dakota once more. She giggled as he adjusted his hold and flipped her so she was hanging upside down. “Bed time now, fun tomorrow.”

“Yay!”

Laughing and shaking your head, you watched as Dean started to leave the library, carrying your daughter just like that the whole time.

“You comin’, Mum?” Dakota called through her fit of giggles.

With a quick goodnight to Sam and Jack, you hurried along to catch up. When you eventually found Dean and Dakota again, they were almost at her bedroom.

Dean was fixing his hold on her, setting her back on his hip as she rambled on. Not one word fell on deaf ears. He listened to everything, and he took it all in like it was the most important news he’d ever heard.

She had him wrapped around his finger already.

As he took her into her room, you leaned against her door frame and watched. You wanted to see how this would play out.

“Okay, so, story or no story?” he asked as he stood her on her bed.

She stood there, bouncing a little as he grabbed her pyjamas. “Story.” She gave a short nod. “It’ll help me fall asleep, and then tomorrow will come faster, and then we can camp in the library.”

He chuckled, handing her the set of clothes he’d pulled out of the drawer. “Okay, story it is.” While she started to get dressed, he turned to grab a book. “And what are we reading tonight?”

Never would you have guessed that Dean would be like this. You knew he was paternal, you knew he raised Sam, you knew he loved kids, but you didn’t think he’d be the kind to sit awkwardly beside your daughter in bed, and read to her until she drifted off. Apparently he was that kind of guy, though, because most nights he was home that was exactly what he did.

Once Dakota was dressed and the book had been picked, she settled into bed and he plopped down right next to her. Angling the book so she could see the pages, he started to read.

He didn’t hold back on the enthusiasm. Every character had a different accent, he made the sounds, and looked down at Dakota with fear or excitement when it was warranted.

You stood there and watched the entire time, smiling at the two of them. When Dakota leaned her head against Dean’s arm, her eyes starting to drift, you noticed the way his words faltered a little. He didn’t make it to the end of the book before she was fast asleep, but he kept going, He always finished the book, every night.

Closing the book, he carefully slid off the bed and crept away. Placing the book back on the shelf carefully, he tiptoed over to the door and began to close it, leaving it a jar ever so slightly. When he was certain she was still asleep and wouldn’t wake, he let out the breath he’d been holding.

“I could never take that away from the two of you,” you whispered, nodding to the door. He looked to you, a little confused. “She’s never had a dad, Dean. It’s always been her and me. You’ve always been about family. Having kids wa- no, it probably still is one of those wants you don’t openly admit to.”

His eyes dropped to the ground, giving you the indication you needed in order to know you were right.

“I spent seven years in that other world Dean, and I was pretty much all by myself. The people around me were strangers, they didn’t understand me. I had to learn how to survive, and I had to survive for her. So there was always a plan A, B, C… I had as many options as I needed. That’s what I’m doing here.”

Sighing, he looked up to meet your gaze again. “I get that, but… I know things always go bad for us. Everyone either leaves or gets hurt, and I don’t want either of those things. Not for her. Not for you.”

You tried to hide your shock, but his words throw you for a loop. Dean had made it clear that he wanted Dakota to stay, that he would do anything for her… but there hadn’t been much said in regards to you.

Oblivious to your surprise, he went on, “I’m gonna be honest, things aren’t great right now, and they’re not gonna get better for a while. I don’t want to scare you away, but I don’t want to lie to you.”

“I remember the life, Dean. I was a hunter long before you and I even met. None of that is easy to forget.”

“Things have gotten worse, Y/N.”

“Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but while I was gone… Cas released a bunch of black goo bastards, you went to purgatory, Sam hit a dog, you found the Bunker, and Sam went through a set of trails to close the gates of Hell.”

“How’d you-”

“I talked to Cas and Jack. Apparently your timeline doesn’t quite match up with the show I worked on, but it was still pretty close.” You shrugged. “In your timeline Abaddon got away and you had to use Crowley, and then everything went to shit. In the timeline I knew, you tried to cure Abaddon but it didn’t turn her human, just weakened her enough to kill her, and then you realised Sam would die if he actually finished the trial so you stopped.”

“So I didn’t become a demon?”

“Nope.”

“But we didn’t close Hell?”

“Nope.”

“Did Crowley get addicted to human blood?”

“Actually, Kevin turned him into a human as payback, and then Gadreel killed him.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I’m still getting used to the differences…” your eyes dropped to the floor, “like Bobby being gone.”

It might’ve been a show, but working on Supernatural had been the only way you could really stay connected to your old life. To come back and find out everything you’d experienced- fake or not- was all fake, just added to the shock of everything.

You couldn’t just slid back into your life like you thought you could- though you never assumed it would be easy. No, instead you had to learn what happened to the real Sam and Dean, and figure out a way to adjust to how extreme their lives had become.

While you were aware of the fact things just got more and more difficult and weird, you hadn’t lived it. The brothers weren’t fighting a new monster every week anymore, they were saving the world over and over.

He watched you in amazement. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“So have you.”

“No, I mean… I always had Sam. You were alone.”

“I had Dakota,” you countered.

“It’s not the same,” he argued, shaking his head. “You had to raise her, protect her, provide for her. No one had your back. No one could pick up the slack if you couldn’t. Sammy and me, we’ve been through Hell and back over and over, but we always had each other to lean on when we needed. We had Cas, and Crowley, and other friends. Now we’ve got Jack. But it was always just you and her.”

You shrugged. “What else was I supposed to do? I was living the life of a stranger, surrounded by familiar faces that belonged to people I didn’t know. I tried letting them in… I tried letting Jensen in because I needed you, but he wasn’t you and that broke my heart. I tried letting Jared in, but wasn’t Sam. And trying to make new friends when you’ve got a crazy schedule like I did, and a kid? Forget about it.”

Stepping closer, he looked down at you with guilt and pity. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” you assured me.

“We left you there.”

“Again, not your fault.”

He wasn’t letting it go, though. “We left you there for seven years. You were alone. You were pregnant. I left you and our daughter in a strange world, for seven years.”

“To be fair… she was only around for a little over six years,” you countered, trying to lighten the mood… it didn’t work.

Moving a little closer, he looked deep into your eyes. “This isn’t a joke, Y/N. My own daughter doesn’t know who I am, and you had to pretend to be someone else for years, all because I couldn’t find a way to bring you home.”

Home… fuck that word alone hit you hard. Your throat felt tight with emotion, your heart swelling at his sincerity. Dean Winchester, the hardened brother who shoots first and shared chick-flick-moments never, was standing in front of you with so much guilt in his eyes he was practically drowning.

Leaning up, you pressed your lips to his in a gentle kiss.

Frozen on the spot from shock, he stared down at you as you pulled back and looked up at him with wide frightened doe eyes. You hadn’t intended to kiss him, but the deed was done and now you were waiting for the backlash.

Before you knew what was happening, both has hands cradled your face as he leaned in to crash his lips against yours.

The kiss was deep and all consuming. It stole your breath and your heart. You melted against Dean, shedding layers of your wall until part of your old self began to show. A self that had once been completely infatuated with the man now holding you to him like he was scared you might disappear again.

Eventually you both needed to breath, and so the kiss was broken. Dean didn’t let you go, though, and you didn’t mind. Feeling the warmth of his hands, the roughness… it was grounding, There was no arguing the realness of the moment as long as you could feel him.

“I’ll do whatever it take to keep you both here, and to keep you both safe.”

“I know. I trust you.”

Bamby

[profoundnet]

Profound Member Post - June 2019

Header by @cryptomoon​​​ and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord Server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in entirely during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR JUNE 2019!

Masterpost below the cut.

MaggieMaybe160 - @maggiemaybe160​ - MaggieMaybe160

Say Yes

Endverse!Dean's life is going pretty well with Endverse!Cas until Dean's past self shows up. A look at the episode "The End" from Season 5 from Endverse!Dean's point of view.

Tags: Canon Major Character Death

SFW

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CR Noble - @cr-noble-writes​ - CR Noble

Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare seemed like a good way to pass the time until they had to go after Lucifer. After everyone else fell asleep, the game turns naughty between Dean and Castiel. Created for the Lusty Lexis and SPN Kink bingo challenges

Tags: canon-compliant, first time, pwp, top!cas, bottom!dean

NSFW

Falling Apart

Sword & Cross Resident Rehabilitation is a last-ditch effort for Dean Winchester to move past the drug and drinking problems he developed to bury his guilt over the fire that killed his brother. Not to mention the wild visions and smoky, sentient shadows that have plagued him his entire life. It's supposed to be the best Savannah has to offer, but one look at the crumbling tile floors and dangling crown mouldings, and Dean has his doubts. Enter Castiel Novak. He’s rude, aloof, and a total dick from the moment they lay eyes on each other but Dean can’t help but feel a mysterious connection to the man. Maybe he really has lost his mind. But when Castiel starts making appearances in Dean’s vivid visions of the past, he knows there is more to their link than meets the eye. Even if Cas keeps telling him otherwise. It seems everyone at Sword & Cross knows what’s going on except for Dean. Trying to conquer his mountain of guilt and doubt and figure out the connection he is certain he shares with Castiel is only made harder by the “accidents” that seem to follow him. Not to mention his attraction to Gadreel. Whatever secret Castiel is trying so hard to keep, Dean knows he has to uncover it. Written for SPN Movie Big Bang 2019

Tags: past Dean/Lucifer, Dean/Gadreel, rehab au, flashbacks, vivid dreams, ptsd, minor character death, sam is dead when fic starts, slow burn, suicidal ideation

SFW

Washed Up Souls

Castiel has wandered the Earth for millennia, hiding from Heaven and looking for a soulmate he shouldn’t have. All he has to go on is the phrase written on his forearm: the last thing he’ll hear his soulmate say before they die. He’s living as a human on the outskirts of New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina hits and he hears that phrase in a prayer. Dean Winchester never bothered searching for his soulmate. Then, after a hunt, he wakes up in a strange bed with a serious wound and no recollection of how he got there. And there’s a strange, but really attractive, guy taking care of him. As the days pass and the two men learn more about each other, Castiel realizes his feelings for Dean. But what will it take for Dean to admit his own feelings for Cas? Written for the Dean Cas Reverse Bang 2019

Tags: temporary MCD, soulmate au, openly bi dean, demi cas, canon-divergent pre pilot, hurrican katrina, major character injury

SFW

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LeafZelindor - @leafzelindor

Art for “Beyond”

Art created for the SPN movie bang fic "Beyond"

Tags: Destiel, AU, Star Trek

SFW

Created for @snarkysnartes fic Beyond. 

Profound Prose - Pride

Pride picture done for Profound Poses. Wings all around.

Tags: destiel, pride

SFW

Art post for "Don't Be So Charming"

My contribution to Pie Darling's SpN movie bang fic "Don't be so Charming" 

Tags: Destiel, AU

SFW

Made for PieDarling’s fic “Don’t be so Charming”

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weldersmightyb - @weldersmightyb - weldersmightyb

Hurts So Good

Part of Dean/Cas Reverse Bang 2019 - Fic in Response to Anyrei's wonderful art! What will happen when Dean and Cas are both human and in bad places in their lives? Through the pining, angst, tears, and happiness, Dean tries to heal Cas, but Cas does just as much for Dean when they both give into the desires that have been ignored for far too long. Follow them through their stupid pining, a cute mini-case where Cas becomes a rock god, and so much pain. Trust me, the journey will be worth the tears.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Hurt/Comfort, Case Fic, Hospitalisation, Dean Winchester Whump, Rock Star Castiel (Supernatural), Grief/Mourning, Angst with a Happy Ending 

NSFW

Written for the DCRB in response to @anyreiart ‘s art.

Three Men and a Baby. Well, Two Men, an Angel, an Archnephilim, an Archangel, a Witch, and a Baby, But Who's Counting Anymore?

Spells make Dean nervous. That's just common knowledge. Especially when they make Cas drop to the ground unconscious. But once Gabriel shows up with more information, Dean has to question whether this spell is actually a bad thing. A quick ficlet in response to kuwlshadow's wonderful art.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Fluff, Mpreg but not really, Alternate Season/Series 14, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural), Gabriel Joins Team Free Will (Supernatural), Rowena too, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester

SFW

Written for the DCRB in response to @kuwlshadow‘s art. 

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JessJessTheBest - @saywhatjessie - JessJessTheBest

Bold Defiance 

“You, Bold Defiance?” Dean rolled his eyes. “You are so predictable.” Castiel had been operating as ‘Bold Defiance,’ evil super-villain, for most of his life. It was the same thing, day after day: scheming, magicking, and getting inevitably foiled by The Guardian: the city’s acting superhero and Castiel’s childhood rival, Anna. It was a comfortable if not altogether productive routine. The periodic kidnapping of journalist, Dean Winchester, didn’t hurt. But what happens when one side actually wins? What does a person do when the person who opposed them, the person who defined them, is gone?

Tags: wing!fic, superhero au, Technically an alien au, journalist!dean, character death but not really, arcane magic, Jack being cute, an extreme indictment of the prison system

SFW

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Jdragon122 - @jdragon122 - Jdragon122

Art for “Giant, Anguish, Danger”

Art for SPN Movie Big Bang

Tags: jdragonart, the ritual movie, horror monster, blood, malmuses, horror fic, spn fan art

SFW

Made for @malmuses fic “Giant, Anguish, Danger”

DCRB - Sea Serpahim 

Art for the Dean Cas Reverse Bang 2019

Tags: creature!cas, marine biologist!dean, jdragonart, dcrb, supernatural, spn fanart, castiel, dean winchester

SFW 

In collaboration with @saltnhalo (fic)

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nickelkeep - @nickelkeep - nickelkeep

Scribere Jussit Amor 

When a case involving angels pops up, Sam needs a book from Cas' room and asks Dean to get it. After a quick phone call with Cas, and making sure he has the red book, written purely in Enochian, Dean's sure the brothers are ready to go. Except, Sam has now translated Cas' journal, leaving Dean to face some very harsh truths when it comes to a particular Angel of the Lord.

Tags: canon fic, diary/journal fic, canon temporary MCD, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Alternating, implied/referenced alcohol abuse, implied/referenced suicide attempt, Sam Ships It

SFW

Made for the DeanCas Reversebang with art by @dmsilvisart

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SoloArcana - @soloarcana - SoloArcana

Sassy Castiel Vacations

The first time it happened, it took Castiel 34 hours to get back to the bunker. The second and third times took half that. By the fourth time, he thought it was time to teach Dean a lesson. Castiel stayed gone for a week. When he walked back into the bunker, Dean met him at the foot of the stairs. "Where the hell have you been, Cas?"

Tags: Dean's Daisy Dukes, Crop Top Dean, Inspired by Tumblr, Snark, Glitter, No major archive/trigger warnings

SFW

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phoenix_michie - phoenix-michie

Run To Him

Being a sheriff is all Dean Winchester has ever wanted. He loves his job, the town, and the people living in it. When a new guy moves into the neighborhood, Dean’s beloved townspeople are quick to talk and the rumors start to spread. As a new substitute teacher at the local High School, Castiel Novak attracts not only the attention of his neighbors, but also of the parents and the kids at the school. As complaints start to pour in at the station, Dean dutifully deals with them—and with Castiel, not knowing that this man is only trying to find his peace and quiet, trying to escape his past, but leading it right into Dean’s town.

Tags: Past Castiel/April Kelly, Sheriff Dean Winchester, Teacher Castiel (Supernatural), Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Stalking

NSFW 

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insomnia - insomnia 

The Colour of Black

Dean Winchester wakes up in hospital bruised, broken and mostly blind with little memory of how he ended up there. To the people he saved he's a hero, to none more so than the dorky guy with the amazing voice who visits every day and doesn't seem to want to leave.

Tags: AU - Soulmates, Pseudoscience, Injured Dean Winchester, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Fluff, Falling in Love, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Meetings

SFW

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Wargurl83 - @wargurl83 - wargurl83 (Pillowfort)

HUMANS ARE WEIRD, A Space-Pack Bonding Story

Humans have made it to the stars, and they really will pack bond with anything. This is the story of how Dean built his own little family in space. Written for the 2019 Dean/Cas Reverse Bang.

Tags: Destiel in space, Humans Are Weird, Humans will pack-bond anything, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction

SFW 

A Symphony of Flavors 

Master Chef Castiel Novak likes his life ordered. Controlled. Sensible. He's an Alpha with no mate and no hope of finding one. His life is turned upside down with the death of his sister and taking guardianship of his nine-year-old niece, Claire. Add to that, there's a new sous chef taking up space in his very orderly kitchen with his loud music and brash attitude, and for some reason Castiel just can't take his eyes off him. Dean Winchester loves to cook, love his mom, and loves kids. His goal has been to work with Chef Novak for as long as he's been in Kansas City. What he wasn’t prepared for was an Alpha all of his own…

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chefs, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Verse

Made in collaboration with @foxymoley‘s art

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Darmys - @darmysasagiri - Darmys 

Gone in 60 Seconds

Convinced by his mother walk away from his life, and save his younger brother, Dean left Seattle six years ago. Only to be told on a Monday, Sam’s taken a job from Richard Roman: Local stolen-car broker, and all-round bad guy. And Sam’s fumbled the job. Now Dean has until 8am Friday morning to get 50 high-end cars on a container ship, or Roman will kill Sam. Starring: Dean Winchester as Memphis Raines Sam Winchester as Kip Raines and Baby as Eleanor.

Tags: AU-Movie, Referenced Cas/Others, Cars, Fast Cars, Stealing Fast Cars, Underage Drinking, Vomiting, Cole Dies, Bad Language, SPNMBB 2019

SFW

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supernatural9917 

Boy Next Door

Castiel's hot, young, new neighbour is going to drive him crazy... Written for the Destiel Smut Bingo 2018. Square fill: Getting caught

Tags: Twink Dean Winchester, Older Castiel, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Neighbors, Dean is a Tease, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Age Difference

NSFW

In Flagrante Delicto

Cas gets home earlier than expected and catches Dean enjoying himself to a familiar video... A Red Carpet Chronicles Timestamp, and also fills the Destiel Smut Bingo 2018 square: Making a sex tape.

Tags: Red Carpet Chronicles, Alternate Universe - Actors, Masturbation, Castiel catches Dean during his alone time, Dean doesn't mind, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester

NSFW

Made in collaboration with @delicious-irony

Riteousness Rides Agayn: the Further Adventures of the Riteous man and his Avenging Angel

Infamous highwaymen The Riteous Man and The Avenging Angel are better known to their neighbours as brothers Daniel and Castor Smith, and to their friends as secret lovers Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak. After recovering from a near-fatal accident, Dean is ready to ride again, and their target is the wealthy and cruel Lord Talbot. With a bit of help from their friends, blacksmith Benny Lafitte and grocer Gabriel Speight, The Riteous Man and The Avenging Angel will ride again.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Restoration England, Highwaymen, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean/Cas Reverse Bang 2019

NSFW

Made in collaboration with @pimentogirl

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NadiaHart - @hartlessfiction - NadiaHart

Soother

Dean’s been a regular Soother at the maternity ward in Brodstone Memorial Hospital for a few years now. He comes in late, after work; after dinner and dessert been served and put away. After everyone's asleep and no one can ask probing, annoying, little brother-esque questions about what he’s doing and why he’s given up on finding his own mate–his own pack. He likes it, volunteering at the hospital, where’s he’s needed, it soothes something inside of him. He sincerely hopes that he's helping these pups just as much as they're helping him. And right now, that’s all he’s willing to ask for.

Tags: Alpha!Cas, Omega!Dean, meet-cute, True-mates, fluff, scents.

SFW

Art for Anarchy 

Artwork for Anarchy- a DCRB fiction by NeonBat

Tags: Shirtless Cage Fighter Dean Winchester. SFW

Made in collaboration with @neonbat666‘s fic

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thatpeculiarone - @ilovetodreamx - thatpeculiarone

Disambiguation 

It happened in a split second.

One minute, Dean was looking at him - the next, he was on the floor a few feet away.

Dean is attacked by a witch on a hunt, causing him to fall comatose and his memories to be erased. Dean spends his time unconscious reliving his life, building memories back together and seeing things from a new perspective. Meanwhile, Cas and Sam race the clock in order to try and save Dean, with many dead ends along the way. As time begins to run out, Cas realises it may be too late for him to tell Dean how he truly feels.

Cue: An angsty two-weeks in the Men of Letters bunker.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Witchcraft, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memory Loss, Hunt Gone Wrong, Hurt/Comfort.

SFW

Made in collaboration with @pallasperilous‘s art!