#and once I have food maybe I'll start functioning again

[mcalhenwrites]

I finally get some more sleep only to nearly collapse when getting out of bed. Took some effort to get to the bathroom, wasn't sure I'd stay on my feet. Now I'm back in bed, but I'm hungry and want a shower. I can't do shit about either one, but my roommate doesn't get off until midnight and due to the bed bug situation, finances are too tight for getting food out. Who the fuck would even be open in a rural area? ;A; I hate my body, and I was looking forward to red beans and rice with cornbread. (All boxed, but like... listen. It's food.) I hate fibro, where you are very likely to wake up with less energy and more pain than when you first went to bed!

[daceydeath]

Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 8)

Pairing: Felix x Reader Word Count: 4.7 Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, Swearing, Explicit Activities, Alcohol

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.

Managing to sneak into your shared apartment unnoticed you saw that both Seungmin and Jeongin's shoes were just abandoned in the entryway making you think they must have been at least more than tipsy when they got home the night before and from the lack of noise as you crept down the hallway it looked like they had not yet surfaced which helped you to relax and return to your room to quickly shower and change your clothes. By the time you had reemerged from your room and settled on the couch with a cup of coffee you could hear the sounds of bumping furniture and groans coming from one of the bedrooms which from the cursing that followed you recognized as Jeongin.

"Morning sunshine" you teased as his fluffy haired frowning face came around the corner into the kitchen, eyes scrunched up to protect him from the light.

"M’ning" he groaned, barely able to focus on you and he bumped straight into the cupboard he was trying to open to get a glass.

"How hard did you guys go last night?" you laughed silently getting up to help him get water and painkillers in his rather useless state “looks like it was a big one”.

"Seung and Minho had a drinking contest so he was fuuucked and I was playing beer pong and lost.... a lot" he smiled weakly taking the water and pills from you.

"I'll take some water and painkillers into Seung then and check he is still alive" you nodded knowing that they would have been so messy last night that they probably just passed out once they got into bed not noticing that you weren't home.

Taking a bottle of water into Seungmin's room you noticed he was still totally dressed from the night before and just laying on his front so you left the packet of tablets and the water on the bed side table and put your hand on his back to make sure he was in fact still breathing.

"Not dead, just wanna be" Seung's very croaky voice came from somewhere under his hood and bed head hair.

"Just checking, there's something to help" you smiled, patting his head and walking back out to the lounge room. Your phone chimed so you fished it out of your pocket to see who was texting you, only to hear more loud swearing from the kitchen as Jeongin spilled his coffee all over the counter and began wiping it up begrudgingly making you giggle again. Stepping around him you helped him pour another cup.

When can I see you again baby? I already miss you. 

You read the message and grinned at the butterflies that were now filling your stomach, and were starting to make you feel a little giddy. Felix always knew how to make you feel like a silly little school girl without any effort at all.

"What are you smiling at?" Jeongin asked, screwing his eyes up as he walked into the brighter side of the room clutching the coffee in his hands tightly.

"Just funny memes" you lied easily knowing he was too hungover to challenge you anyway.

"Oh you free tonight?" He blurted suddenly louder than you expected as the thought popped into his head.

"Yes.... why?" you blinked recovering from the jump scare he had just unintentionally delivered to your system.

"Dinner, all of us, tonight" he looked up at the ceiling like he was trying to remember all the facts he needed to tell you. "So like us, Chan, Changbin and Han, maybe the whore club at 8 but I forget where".

"I can do dinner but maybe give me Chan's number so I can text him for the details" you chuckled slightly at how much Jeongin was struggling to function "Then go back to bed Innie I'll order us food for lunch that you can eat when you wake up again".

"Thank you, you are the fucking best you know that? Plus hot you're also hot" he mumbled giving you his unlocked phone and shuffling back to his bedroom. You opened his contacts scrolling through until you found Chan's number then added it to your phone, also copying out Changbin's and Han's contacts in case Chan was in the same position that Innie was in.

“When did the agreement between you and Seung to tell me I look hot or cute or whatever happen?” you asked in confusion, after his retreating figure but he totally ignored you disappearing into the darkness of his room.

Are you and the guys coming to dinner tonight? 

You quickly texted to Felix before composing a text that didn't seem too random or confusing to Chan, in case he too was as under the weather as your two roommates. His reply came back pretty quickly giving you the details and being amazed that you had actually even spoken to either of your severely hungover friends.

The thing at Chan’s? Yeah we're going. We will have to sneak off so I can kiss you again baby

The images that your mind created of the two of you sneaking off had a flush creeping across your cheeks and down your neck as you read Felix’s reply. You would have to make sure that if you could sneak away you would and then it hit you that if you snuck away with Felix it would essentially be lying to your friends and the guilt began to set in. Not telling either Seungmin or Jeongin was essentially lying by omission and that made you a terrible friend in your mind at least, friends don't willingly lie to their friends about things like this.

Going back into your room you started up on some homework that you knew you should have been getting done but had left for a few days. If you were going to use the too busy to come home because of schoolwork excuse you needed to get as far ahead as possible so it was believable. You knew the two small tests you had at the start of the semester were going to be easy you had been prepared for them before they were announced knowing that they were also only a mock partial exams helped too since you could, hopefully ace them, and make your parents think you were now back in the top position in each of your classes. You also knew you needed to finish the last draft of a major assignment so that you wouldn’t have to deal with the stress later. By the time lunch time rolled around and you were hungry the others still hadn’t ventured out of their rooms so you ordered as much fried chicken as you could knowing that they would be happy to eat it left over if they didn’t surface when they smelt it. 

You pulled out some clothes to wear for the dinner and put them on the end of your bed, you knew you didn’t need to dress up to go the Chan’s apartment so you just grabbed some jeans that were a little tight around your butt and a slightly cropped top to that it would look like you hadn’t made no effort but you weren’t hoping to impress anyone. The buzzer from the door camera let you know the chicken had arrived and you went down to get it hoping that you would feel less nervous about what would happen later that evening. As you had predicted Seungmin managed to surface as the smell of fresh hot fried chicken followed you up the hallway and Jeongin followed suit sitting down at the table while you got them a hangover cure each and yourself a juice.

“Fried chicken, top choice” Seungmin smiled, taking a drumstick and tearing into it like a starving caveman making you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Again the best” Jeongin agreed, picking up his own piece but not shoving it in his mouth quite as enthusiastically as Seungmin.

“I texted Chan and it's 8 o’clock tonight and their apartment” you informed both of them “I said you were both in but you can text him if you don’t want to go”.

You showered and started getting ready, your preplanned outfit and basic makeup to make you like nice but not too out of the ordinary, finally throwing Felix’s hoodie over your outfit so that you would be warm on the way there and also so you smell his scent without actually being close to him. If Seungmin or Jeongin noticed that it was a different hoodie they didn’t say anything but you did often wear super comfortable clothes which did annoy Jeongin at least to no end, so another large hoodie was nothing to take note of. Jeongin drove, having been sure that he was not going to have any alcohol left in his system and you sat in the back watching the buildings go by until you got to Chan’s. Knocking on his door, you waited with the boys watching the last of the colored traces of the day fade into the inky darkness of dusk, you suddenly realized that this must be what it was like to be normal, have a normal social life and a normal set of friends. It caused a small ache in your chest suddenly like you had missed out on something very important but it also gave you a rush of fondness for the two boys standing either side of you leaning on either the stair railing or the wall beside the door.

“Oh you two aren’t dead! Well done” Han laughed as he let you all in, listening to Seungmin grumble something under his breath as you slipped off your shoes “I’m glad you could make it tonight” He grinned at you turning his attention away from the others.

“Hi Han” you smiled back following him up the hallway to the lounge.

“The princess and her two trolls are here” Han announced as you turned into the kitchen waving to everyone else that was there. Changbin chuckled as whatever Jeongin called from down the hallway was muffled by the sounds of the six guys already milling about talking. Felix's eyes were already on you when you looked towards them, his lips turning up at the corners making you subconsciously bite your lower lip in response. 

“Pleased you actually got the message about tonight” Chan shook his head at the teasing that was already ramping up.

“Thanks for inviting me Chan” you replied, making your way around the kitchen to the other side of the island bench trying not to stare at Felix as you went.

“Hello kitten” Minho smirked as you sat yourself on one of the bar stools making you roll your eyes at him.

“Minho, you seem to be in pretty good shape considering you tried to kill Seung last night” you raised your eyebrows at him finally noticing the identical looks of mischief on both he and Hyunjin’s faces.

“Aw, didn’t know you cared so much” he teased, easily making Feix’s jaw clench and you rub your temples in faux annoyance and Jeongin came and sat down next to you placing a drink in front of you.

“Ignore Captain fucks-a-lot” he sighed sticking his tongue out and Minho.

“Rude” Minho laughed playfully, punching Jeongin and going to grab a beer from the fridge.

“We're just getting pizza. Is that good for you?” Chan asked, drawing your attention away from the others.

“That’s perfect. As long as it doesn’t come with a side of anyone's psycho ex” you quipped making Han and Seungmin burst into laughter.

“Yeah I can assure you the place we get our pizzas from doesn’t have that” Chan beamed, seeming much happier that you were comfortable enough to be cracking jokes. 

“When are you coming out to party with us again?” Changbin asked loudly, his voice easily blocking out the others.

“Um, I don’t know” you shrugged “I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to babysit me” you pointedly looked and Seungmin then Jeongin.

“Hey! we have cause, Felix had to rescue you last time” Seungmin challenged playfully.

“Yeah then had to sit through accusations of having sexy eyes by Innie” you gestured with your thumb to the boy to your right.

“When did I say that?” Jeongin yelped, completely confused.

“While you were staring at the ceiling I think” you recounted “you slurred something about why the fuck was Felix in the apartment, something about me being off limits and no sexy eyes then Seung had to help you get to bed” 

“All of that is in fact true bro”Seungmin confirmed as more laughter filled the room.

“Well I don’t remember it so it didn’t happen” Jeongin sulked, pouting slightly. Chan ordered the pizzas on his phone and got everyone more drinks, turning on the TV to pass time until all the food arrived. You noticed how close Hyunjin and Minho were to Felix and how annoyed he seemed to be at them so you just kept your distance and subtly watched them trying to figure out what was up. Feeling a little warm with all the scrutiny you slipped Felix’s hoodie over your head laying it on your lap until you could put it somewhere safe, you didn’t notice the look that Felix gave you as your shirt rode up or the fact that all the others had seen slightly more of you than you had planned.

“So what are you doing this week? Want to come hang out with us?” Changbin asked, clearing his throat and breaking you away from another glance at Felix. 

“I’m back at work next week but you can always come by and hang out there if you come around my break” you looked from him to Han who were both sitting on the other lounge to you.

“Did those bitches get expelled too?” Felix interrupted, confusing just about everyone else.

“Yes, both of them did. You don’t have to worry Felix no one is throwing hot coffee on me” you sighed heavily frowning lightly.

“Hold the fuck up what?” Han spat his voice harsher than normal as he looked between you and Felix.

“Two of Nali’s friends had planned to throw coffee on me at work, they were reported to the police and they were part of the group expelled so it’s fine. It’s over now” You explained biting on the inside of your cheek.

“Well we will definitely drop by the cafe then so we can keep an eye out” Chagbin nodded, his tone turning serious and Han and Chan both looked concerned.

“That old guy at the convenience store was right. I do have far too many bodyguards” you groaned, a loud knocking on the front door indicating that the food had arrived and you were being saved from furthering the conversation about how Felix knew this and some of the others didn’t. Lining all the pizzas up in the kitchen you all grabbed plates and helped yourself going back into the lounge to eat Chan putting a movie on in the background to fill the silence of you all chewing.

“Forgot to mention princess” Hyunjin grinned slyly “You looked extra cute in that hoodie”.

“Um, thank you Hyunjin” you answered slowly, looking at him suspiciously, noting that Minho raised his eyebrows suggestively from where he sat next to him.

“I swear I’ve seen one like that before” Minho added Hyunjins smirk growing and Felix who was now sitting at the end of the lounge beside Han and Changbin narrowed his eyes deliberately making you catch on finally to where they were going with the compliments, your stomach dropping at the realization that they both knew, because of course they knew, they lived with Felix they would recognize his clothes and here you were wearing it in front of them like an idiot.

“I imagine because it isn’t the only one in existence” you shot back hoping to sound sarcastic not panicked.

“What are you two up to?” Seungmin snapped at them, making them dissolve into knowing chuckles.

“Fuckers” Felix muttered quietly gritting his teeth.

“Idiots” Han rolled his eyes “So what kind of hours do you actually work? Can we just come hang out?”

“Oh yeah you can come by and just stay for as long as you want” you grinned toothily happy for something to change the conversation “I’m on pretty much every afternoon for the next week so starting at 2 finishing at 7. So I guess we could grab dinner one night instead if that was easier for you guys too” you mused thinking as you pulled out your phone to check if anything else was on your schedule.

“Absolutely” Chan nodded “That sounds like a good idea for us all to hang out without too much organizing”.

“And Seung and I can keep an eye out for you” Jeongin added, looking at you seriously.

“I swear you are more protective than my dad” you grumbled playfully making both Seungmin and Jeongin flush with embarrassment.

You continued talking about stupid stuff all only partially concentrating on the movie that was still playing in the background and eating until you felt like you couldn’t eat anything else. It was just another standard superhero movie so the fight scenes and graphics were easy to get lost in. Excusing yourself to the bathroom you made your way up the stairs phone in your hand as it chimed with a text.

God you looked so good in my hoodie baby ;) Just want you all to myself

You couldn’t help the spark that shot through you at Felix’s words chewing your lip. You thought about how forward you wanted to be when you responded.

I like wearing your clothes Lix, I like feeling like I’m yours.

You took a huge breath before you pressed send hoping that he would respond to that in a good way and not think you were being too much of a tease, even though part of you knew he would never think that considering how much you had already made him wait to even touch you let alone kiss you.

Fuck baby are you trying to get me to kiss you? because that is exactly how you get that to happen saying things like that.

You swallowed hard, Felix probably looked totally indifferent as they all say around drinking beer and matching the movie while you were standing in the bathroom looking like a tomato had decided to replace your face. Holding your hands under the cold running water you pressed them to your cheeks to try to calm yourself down. A soft knock made you freeze on the spot.

“It's just me baby” Felix chuckled quietly, almost sensing your dilemma. Letting out the breath you were holding you opened the door for him to find him leaning against the door frame looking devilishly handsome. 

“Hi” you whispered as he stepped into the bathroom, instantly sliding his hands around your waist, his fingers brushing against your skin agonizingly slowly, before pulling you against his chest pausing to let you decide what happened next. Leaning into him you brushed your lips against his tentatively feeling him smile against your lips. 

“You are definitely going to be the death of me” he murmured, kissing you needily pulling a soft moan from you as his teeth tugged on your bottom lip. Pulling away from him gently you backed out of the bathroom hoping no one would be any the wiser leaving him to shut the door behind him.

“You know I will never understand why girls take so long in the bathroom” Hyunjin smirked as you finally returned to the lounge and slipped back into the seat you had been occupying.

“I’m pretty sure it’s because we have better hygiene” you quipped looking at Hyunjin expectantly only for the others to laugh and whatever comeback he had to die on his tongue. Felix returned a couple of minutes later going to the fridge to get another drink.

“So I heard through a couple of girls that you are claiming to have a girlfriend, Lix. What the fuck is with that?” Han asked mockingly, making the others all laugh.

“Really? Is that because they came to you after I turned them down” Felix smirked, one eyebrow raised challenging Han.

“Are you going through our sloppy seconds Hannie?” Minho jeered, laughing at Han’s shocked face.

“Hardly sloppy seconds if she got rejected, is it?” Seungmin asked, brow furrowed in faux confusion.

“Even worse she’s bad enough to get turned down by Lix and you can’t even get her” Hyunjin cackled, throwing his head back.

“Who said she turned me down? But that isn’t what I was asking” Han pushed leaning towards Felix as though he expected an answer.

“Wow I’m gone for 5 minutes and were being mysoginists and slut shaming nice one boys” you screwed your nose up in slight disgust.

“Slut shaming?” Changbin parroted looking at you for an answer.

“You know most women love being referred to as sloppy seconds. It really makes us feel loved and respected” you replied deadpaned crossing your arms across your chest.

“Oh shit yeah, sorry about that” Han sheepishly scratched the back of his neck apologetically.

“I don’t care where any of you stick your dicks, as long as they aren’t psychos, but can you not be so gross in front of me?” you asked with slight disgust in your voice.

“You are right, of course we will be respectful from now on,” Chan promised, genuinely making the others murmur apologies to you and dropping the subject all together for the moment. As the night continued on you yawned your head falling back against the back of the lounge with a soft thud.

“We should get you home” Jeongin interrupted, patting your shoulder lightly. Both he and Seungmin had decided not to drink, which you were thankful for because you didn’t really want to have to visit them in hospital with alcohol poisoning.

“I’m alright Innie, we can stay as long as you want” you smiled lolling your head towards him. “Besides it’s nice to be here and not be puking with stress that a random lunatic has caused" making him grin at you.

Seungmin pulled you to your feet, stopping you from collecting the last of the plates scattered around the room and walked you towards the kitchen with Jeongin behind you. You waved around Jeongin's shoulders before stepping into the hallway and getting your shoes to go home. It had been a really nice evening. You had fun hanging out with them and nothing bad had happened which you felt was a huge success considering your previous visit to Chan’s place. Watching the streetlights pass the car window, your drooping eyelids were interrupted by your phone chiming and Seungmin and Jeongin’s conversation from the front seats. 

Goodnight baby, I miss you already ;) 

You typed back knowing that Felix wouldn’t be able to avoid the questions the others had now that you were away from them but that he could talk his way out of just about anything you had seen him do just that before, throwing out something else that could be used to take the piss out of one of the others to avoid having to admit anything .

Goodnight Lix

“So do you reckon the girlfriend thing is a cover to try to keep himself out of trouble? Or do you think there is some poor girl he’s leading on because she’s not bright enough to know what he’s like?” Jeongin asked Seungim, turning his head to look at him, his face red from the brightness of the traffic light in front of you.

“I’d like to think it's the former to be honest. Hyunjin said he got chewed out by the university head after the stuff with Nali so using it as an excuse to keep other loons away is a good cover” Seungmin shrugged checking the traffic before turning. 

“There is a third option though but to be fair I don’t even want to entertain the idea” Jeongin sighed, checking the mirror on the back of his visor to look at you while you looked at your phone pretending to be oblivious to the conversation they were having.

“I thought of that too and I’ll be honest I don’t love the idea but we can do anything about it either way” Seungmin muttered still staring out at the traffic around you.

“I know but I worry” Jeongin sighed. “What if it turns out like last time?”. Silence filled the car and you figured the conversation must be over so you leaned against the car window shutting your eyes.

“It’s not the same situation, and Felix isn’t Hyunjin” Seungmin finally conceded, making you wonder what the hell they were talking about. You stayed in the position you were in until your phone chimed again making you frown as you opened the message.

Baby. I’m sorry Hyunjin recognized the hoodie and told Minho so they have figured it out. Well they think they have figured it out.

The feeling that bloomed in your stomach was not easy to identify, it wasn’t fear and it wasn’t worry it was something else, making you wonder did you actually care if people knew you were dating Felix? Was what was happening between you even dating?. You could tell from the way Seungmin and Jeongin spoke they were referring to you and Felix just now but they didn’t seem angry, they seemed concerned or even a little bit unwilling to accept that perhaps there was something between you. 

Your thoughts were jumbled, what if the revelation of you and Felix being together made people think that there had been some truth to what Nali has said about you? Or what if by some bizarre set of circumstances your parents found out and had you pulled from university? There was no way that you could imagine that they would realistically find out, no one from home knew what you were even studying let alone what your personal life was like and none of the guys would rat you out to parents they knew treated you badly. Remaining deep in thought you missed the following messages that he sent, not even realizing until you were in your room 20 minutes later.

They won’t tell the others if you’re scared of their reactions, baby. They wouldn’t hurt you like that.

I’m willing to tell everyone we’re together if that’s what you want.

I know this is new to you, I don’t want to push you baby.

Are you overthinking again? 

I’m guessing from the silence you are, I'll give you some time then.

Staring at the messages you weren't sure how to react. You had been on one date with Felix. You had kissed him a handful of times and you had shared a bed when you had gotten caught in the rain. But the futhest he had gotten with you was making out and he had even apologized about moving to fast when you had. But the fact that he had called you his girlfriend and told you repeatedly he was serious about you didn’t change thee fact that neither of you had actually discussed it, he had told you he had said it to make girls feel less hurt when he turned them down and when he said it to you it was always unserious.

Felix, am I your girlfriend? Is that what this is? Or are you still just saying that to let other girls down gently?

You washed up and changed into some pajamas so you were ready to go to bed while you waited for him to reply with anxiety gripping at your chest as you waited for the little dots to show he was typing.

Will you give me that chance? I only want you no one else matters to me just you.

Before you could answer Felix you needed to know why Seungmin and Jeongin were comparing you and Felix to their previous roommate and Hyunjin and why it was some kind of sticking point for them and since you weren’t sure if you would get the full story from them you knew you would need to ask some of the others or even Felix before you could make a decision.

A/N: Thank you for reading my lovelies as always your support means the world to me xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout, @mrsseals16, @honey-pop, @fawnpeaks, @leeknowinggg, @uno7, @seungminluv3, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @thicccurls @juskz @3rachasninja @reiheis @partyparty-yah @leeknowyah @warren-thedarkangel

[delta-orionis]

Tuesday Again No Problem 4/30/24

This week's Tuesdaypost contains: electronic music, stupid youtube videos, me being tormented by spiders in Rain World, and an extended ramble about my OCs. (Maybe skip the Playing section if you don't want to hear about the spiders...)

Listening

Not much to say on this front, I've still been listening to the Rain World soundtrack. I've also been dipping back into my Repeat Rewind playlist on Spotify and remembered a couple of songs that I really liked a few months ago:

Watching

I've (unfortunately) been spending a lot of time on Youtube lately (mostly to listen to in the background while I play Rain World- more on that in the Playing section)(also yeah I guess that should technically count towards the listening section, whatever).

I got a big kick out of Drew Gooden's newest video about how the Cybertruck is stupid:

As well as Strange Aeons's new video about Blingee:

Playing

I've been messing around in Rain World's Expedition mode (basically: a challenge mode with permadeath- if your karma drops below 1 the run ends). I started a Spearmaster run the other day with a challenge to visit Looks to the Moon, which ended up being a much more difficult challenge than I anticipated.

It took me three attempts- and on my third attempt I got all the way up to Moon's Struts before I started being harassed by a gang of Mother Spiders. It was there I learned that my Switch doesn't like Mother Spiders very much.

Very very long story short- Mother Spiders kept getting into my shelter, and I was desperate enough for food to kill them and deal with all of the Coalescipedes they spawned. This meant I ended up with a whole bunch of spider corpses in my shelter, which tanked the framerate. I had to spend several cycles cleaning the spider corpses and spears I used to kill them out of my shelter. I died several times, and I did eventually start save scumming (if you close the game before the game over screen in an expedition, you can restart the cycle at karma 1). I'm not proud of it, but god damn it I was so close to Moon and I was not in the mood to start the expedition from scratch for a fourth time.

I did eventually get inside Moon's superstructure. I paid a visit to her puppet chamber before I reached the vista point and beat the expedition. It was smooth sailing once I eventually got inside, but god damn, I think I'm going to see Mother Spiders in my nightmares.

I regret not taking more screenshots of Moon's interior, but I got a couple at least. She's very pretty.

Making

I've been toying with the idea of turning some of my OCs into iterators for fun. I have a few very rough sketches, and I'm contemplating their lore. I'm really struggling with their names, though; it's hard to come up with something that sounds nice but also is at least tangentially related to their personalities. I'll keep thinking about it.

(In order: Rhode, Lilith, Theta, and Rhode again)

It's kind of fun to adapt their (admittedly messy) backstories into Rain World lore. OC rambling below:

Very shortly after Theta's activation, they developed an extreme phobia of being watched or interacted with. They subsequently put their entire superstructure into lockdown and cut off all communications with the outside world. They're completely unresponsive, and the only indication that they're even still alive is the periodic rain from their can.

Rhode is Theta's neighbor and only friend. She developed a passion for learning how to manipulate iterator software so she could circumvent some of her own taboos. She used this ability to hack into Theta's communications, and ended up being the first to successfully talk to them after they went silent. Rhode is in a relationship with Lilith.

Lilith is Rhode's romantic partner. She was built as an engineering facility and used her knowledge to restore functionality to some of her own systems after an earthquake destroyed her structure's legs. She helped Rhode figure out how to circumvent her taboos, and spends her time trying to help other iterators with their mechanical problems.

So, in short, they're a local group with two lesbians and their weird goth friend with debilitating social anxiety.

I want to try and finalize their designs and figure out canon-compliant names for them, because I have a couple of fun art ideas. I'm working on it. (It's kind of funny that the solution to my worldbuilding roadblock for my ocs was to put them in the setting of the game I'm currently obsessed with.)

--

I'll check back in next week, thanks for reading!

[thestudentfarmer]

Hello and good day!

Just wanted to share a few Planting notes and whats been going on round my garden and kitchen~

Today I planted some

They look very lovely in the pictures, plus the Tubers that grow under them are said to be edible and similar to potatoes. I think their pretty and would like to try them once. I figure if no one in the household likes them I have tried them, and have a neat thing to share with friends at least + can share with the seed library or at a plant swamp :)

Also direct seeded some

Dill and cilantro seed. I've never been real great at making herbs grow well but this year I'm hoping is the year to change that :) with luck in a short time there'll be plenty for us as well as gifting, maybe trading and sharing (which is part of my ultimate grow goals :) ) but I'll be satisfied with enough to use here and self seed for future harvests.

Direct seeded some sugar baby watermelons to replace the bed the chickens dug up. (I'll need to make a new fence for this part of the garden, the old one was just simple wire fence. I'd like to put in a nice wire and wood one with a latch gate)

Tossed out a few handfuls of black oil sunflowers among the unclaimed parts of the back garden. With luck they'll grow pretty quickly to proffer some shade and a snack spot for the parrots again.

And of interest, the regrow from the store green onions is blooming some flowers! They are definatly determined lil plants!

I don't have pictures currently for the rest but I also got a bit of stuff done for both gardening and things to try out

🔨I made 2 olla's to try out in an attempt to reduce watering around the garden as well as to conserve water in the soil a bit more. Their just 2 unglazed Terra cotta pots, silicone sealed together and a cork put in one end. The water coaster I'm using to cover the top in between watering. I've never used them, or seen them used before so at this time its to test out for a future project. Plus i just wanted to see them in function :)

🔨 fully made a 5×2 raised bed for the front garden. A second is about 1/2 made. I need to get more wood to finish. At current fenced in spacing I could fit 2 more beds this size.

⛰️ got that bed lined out with cardboard, paper and filled with compost to settle (currently 6 cubic feet of composted manure) ���I still need to lay out water lines for both future rows, but want to get one more of the 3 beds built before I start laying that line down.

I won't be doing ground beds in this section due to the knowledge there are utility lines pretty close to the surface. ⭐️ALWAYS call or find out where your yards service lines are befor digging!! It will save you a lot of stress and financial strain⭐️

Plus I can make the raised beds deeper/taller for root crops like carrots or sweet potatoes without having to dig too deep 😉

Laid out some tarp to die off a section of yard to start an amaranth grow spot (end goal, 2 spaces for this. human food, natural dye work material and chicken feed)

That's it for todays lil blurbs :)

🌱🌻Happy Homesteading and Urban Gardening 🌻🌱

4 19 2024

[cryptidsurveys]

🎃 Thursday, October 31st, 2024. 🎃

Are you seeking contentment or excitement? I have been pretty content lately, but a little bit of the right kind of excitement wouldn't hurt.

What was the last TV show you watched? I have no idea. I don't think I've watched regular television since early 2020.

What is one place you’d love to travel to? Japan.

What are three things you have to buy? I don't need to buy anything at the moment (we just went to the grocery store yesterday morning), but I have been at least considering dyeing my hair in the near future. I haven't settled on a color yet, though.

Are you a leader or follower? For the time being, I'm more comfortable as a follower, but I do have aspirations of being something of a leader one day. Maybe cattery lead…

What was the best part of your day? Volunteering at the animal shelter and joking around with Kristen and Riley.

Do you owe anybody money? I need to give my mom half of the cost of the carpet cleaner we recently purchased.

What is the most expensive thing in your closet? I don't think anything in there is particularly expensive, so it's hard to say.

List five foods you ate today? Some of the Oreo coffee cake I baked yesterday, an oatmeal bowl, a toasted cheese and jalapeno sandwich, and mixed veggies with sriracha sauce. I haven't eaten a fifth thing, but I'll be having a yogurt bowl for snack later.

What are you looking forward to? Handing out candy tonight. I'm trying to look forward to it, anyway. The first few trick-or-treaters are awkward, but I'll probably be fine once things really get going.

What was the last new thing you did or tried (activity, food etc)? I guess the coffee cake was new…but it's not like I've never had some kind of coffee cake before. Just never one that I baked myself.

Jot down a current trending news story from where you live?

Man arrested after not following evacuation orders during Highland Lakes Fire.

National Transportation Safety Board releases findings on deadly I-25 train derailment.

CSPD seizes large-capacity magazine and rifle from man near Downtown Colorado Springs.

Pueblo set for another homeless encampment sweep, this time targeting 'The Jungle'.

Multiple Colorado counties experiencing issues with unscannable ballots.

The money behind the fight for recreational weed in Colorado Springs.

Do you have a passion? It's probably annoyingly obvious if you pay even a little bit of attention to my surveys.

A chore you ignored to do today? I was planning on dusting/vacuuming my room, maybe even washing my comforter, but eh. I might be taking either tomorrow or Saturday off, so it can wait until then.

Are you the type of person who is often in an off and on relationships? I would really only describe one of my relationships that way.

Did you tell the last person you had a crush on your feelings for them? Oh man, it's been a long time since I last had a measly little crush on someone, but yes, I did let her know. The feeling wasn't reciprocated.

Do you eat breakfast daily? Yep. I wouldn't be able to function without it.

What time will you be getting up tomorrow morning? If I go to the shelter, then I'll be up by 5:45am. If not, then I'll probably still get up around the same time anyway. I can't seem to sleep in to save my life.

What is your current annoyance? That damn tooth has started bugging me again.

Honestly, if you could go back 1 month and change something would you? I would go back to yesterday and reduce the bake time on my cake by a few minutes. It turned out a little dry, but I was terrified of it being underdone. Lesson learned for next time.

Is the room you are in right now clean or a mess? It's relatively clean.

What are you stressed out about? I'm not really all that stressed out about anything right now. Life has been blessedly chill.

What color is your hair? Brown.

Do you wear glasses? I basically only wear them when I'm driving. Otherwise, they just make me dizzy. I can't seem to get used to them.

Have you ever been around someone who was high? Plenty of times.

Do you currently have a hickey? No.

You want to get married? Maybe one day, if I met the right person.

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week? No.

Have you talked to a complete jerk today? No.

Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you’re sure they won’t tell? Yeah. Even if Oliver did tell someone, it wouldn't make much of a difference. They live all the way in California and none of their family/friends know me.

Are you wearing socks right now? Socks and slippers.

Who was the first person you talked to today? My dad.

Are you a forgiving person? To a point. Especially if someone apologizes or attempts to change their behavior. If not, then…idk. I guess I'd just try to get over it. Not let it take up too much of my mental energy.

Are you a morning person or a night person? I am absolutely not a night person. I'm not really a huge morning person either. I can wake up early easily enough, but it takes me a bit to get up to speed.

Anything weird happen lately? Not that I can think of.

Met someone amazing in the past month? No.

Do you firmly believe that everything happens for a reason? In the very literal sense of cause and effect, sure. But in the sense that every experience is divinely orchestrated in order to teach me a lesson for my highest good? No. I think the lessons are something you create for yourself. You can frame what happened to you in any way you wish.

Are you starting to realize anything? That I might actually have what it takes to work at the animal shelter.

Last person to text you? It was a cattery group text from Natasha - reacting to a photo River posted of one of the kitties in his Halloween costume.

Do you prefer soy sauce or Teriyaki sauce? Teriyaki.

Where do you get your pizza? Domino's.

Are the pictures on your computer organized in folders? You could say that. You wouldn't be completely wrong, but you wouldn't be completely right either…

How many scars are on your arm? Somewhere between 15-20.

Do you understand Japanese text? I used to be able to "read" Hiragana - as in I knew what sounds the symbols made and I was able to recognize a handful of words and understand some simple sentences. I was nowhere near fluent, though. Unfortunately, I let my Japanese language practice fall to the wayside and I'm pretty much back to square one.

What are you saving up for? I'm just saving in general. Not for anything specific. Unexpected costs/emergencies.

What is your favorite chip brand? Probably Kettle or Miss Vickie's.

Do you apply to any contests advertised on drinks? No.

What is the most annoying sound you hear in the kitchen often? Kitchen sounds don't tend to bother me. I do wince whenever I scrape my silverware across a plate, though.

If you have a Facebook, is yours privatized? Why or why not? I don't have a Facebook account.

Can you cry on cue? What about laugh? Not right on cue, but I could probably dredge up some sad shit and work up some tears eventually. I could probably laugh on cue too, but it would sound incredibly forced.

Can kittens ever be ugly? Naw. Maybe "scrungly," like Kristen says, but never ugly. You should see some of our kitten baby photos at the shelter; some of them are pretty hilarious.

Can you count to three in German? Yeah.

What foods do you always put salt on? I don't add salt to anything.

Have you ever cheated at a card game? Yeah.

Tell me what colors you’re wearing right now? Black, dark blue, and dark gray.

Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? No.

Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) I am an adult.

Have you ever felt like your heart actually stopped? No.

Are you a fast runner? No.

Do you have a “poker face”? Mmm. Maybe to an extent. I'm better at faking happiness/neutrality than I used to be, but I'm not entirely unreadable if you're paying attention.

Do any of your friends shamelessly burp or fart in public? Idk.

If you need a job, will you take whatever you can get? I'm actually thinking of applying at the animal shelter the next time there's an opening.

Time goes by faster as you get older, don’t you find? It does feel that way. Days, weeks, months, and even years seem to just disappear. Meaningful events are less distinct. I try to appreciate the moments while they last, but everything fades and blurs.

[nerdynanny]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN [2.0!]

I did this previously on one of my old blogs, but that was four years ago and we need an update.

TAGGED BY: myself from four years ago @journalsauthored TAGGING:THE DASH

1. FIRST NAME: Max

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I was born with one functioning eye. [same] I also share a birthday with the late great Robin Williams.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Still hella ace, so physical attraction ain't it. I'm drawn to kindness, compassion, and just a bit of pettiness. So basically my partner.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: PASTA.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Peas are a crime against humanity. So is cilantro.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Japanese, Korean, and Thai Dramas.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Depends on the weather. Boxers, usually. [same]

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Happily in a relationship. When I last answered this I had just gotten out of one with a TERF. I'm in a way better place now.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I would absolutely go back in time to prevent myself from working with a narcissist who has recently accused me of stalking him??? When he traumatized me?? Gaslighting fr fr.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: So like-- to a handful of people. This answer is still the same, I'm energetic and entertaining but if someone touches me I will shriek.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Back to the Future Part III. It’s my favorite [SAME STILL].

12. FAVORITE BOOK: Artemis Fowl. Not sure which in the series I love most but the original is dear to my heart. [addition] Cirque du Freak. The Darren Shan saga TIES.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: DOG ARMY. [same]

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]:Oh shit. JackFord [feat @sonxflight​, same], Hilson [with @downs1de, ConYuu [otp 5 ever], SakuSayo [solid ship], and DocClara [with @doctorbrown]

15. PIE OR CAKE: Pie. [same]

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Sandalwood and the Ocean. [same]

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Manny Jacinto. He’s all that and a bag of chips. [same, forever jason mendoza fanboy]

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: The UK. Anywhere but the US. The Netherlands maybe?

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Ambivert. I tend to respond to the types of folk around me. [same]

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: HAHAHAHA. No. But I DO have an intense response to jump scares. I’ve been banned from a few haunted houses because of it. [same, panic disorders go brr]

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: iPhone. [same]

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yes. OBSESSED with Palworld and Minecraft. I just love games where I can play with my frens and build cute shit. I once started a cult in a Minecraft RP server.

23. DREAM JOB: Stand Up Comedian [or just being recognized for my MAD improv skills]

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Give everyone I know ten thousand bucks and use the rest on myself. [same]

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Delores Umbridge. But you’re supposed to hate her. [same, also jkr coded]

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Undertale. I kinda moved away from it and it's populated by kids lately. I still chat about it with my friends, but I doubt I'll ever RP it again.

[emeraldtied]

↳ @ofteaandmagic asked: Even in her sleepy state, Maurice's returned affection caused her heart to start stirring first thing in the morning. Her stomach growls slightly, but she ignores it and instead nuzzles his shoulder. Just adoring him in their little moments. Every single moment together. Yet she tries not to lean on him too much, given that they might both tumble over. Or just her. Mellie's arms tighten slightly, but nevertheless gently around his waist. For a moment, she does doze off, eyes closing in a completely content feeling. Though it's only for a moment, a sleepy bit of laughter coming from her. "Mhmmm, I should probably eat somethin' soon, shouldn't I…? I mean, ya obviously aren't goin' anywhere." There's a peck of her own to his cheek this time. " 'Sides, I love you more."

THERE WOULD NEVER be a time where those affections weren't returned. Even if he had just woken up. Far from a morning person, he was still getting acclimated to the notion after spending nights with Mellie. Which was now just about every night. It was a work in progress but there was something special about those sleepy little moments, and being able to see his partner in this loopy, happy little haze was one of the most special.

He didn't expect her to really fall asleep, but he knew that's what happened, if only for a moment, when he felt her weight shift. He couldn't help but give a gentle chuckle. Maybe they should have gone back to bed, just this once, but a little food was an alternate notion. Maybe it would wake then up enough to be functional.

Though he would miss her drowsy declarations.

"We both ought t' find something, but I'll let you have first pick before you fall asleep. Again." He had to tease, but turned around to brush a stray hair from her face before laying a kiss to her cheek as well, his smile warm at her words before he gave her the gentlest push. "Go eat, you goof."

[unleashedgal]

okay, so I've been thinking about Natsuo being a husband who is so in love with you headcanons maybe?

I hope you're doing well <3

Hayyy!!! I'm doing okay I guess. I'll get there

This is a fun headcanon set! I'm excited!! I feel like I wrote this super fast. I'm a really small blog and only recently started writing, so tell me if this is okay?

Natsuo, oh Natsuo. He's so damn sweet, I can't even function thinking about him! Here we goooo

You and Natsuo met in college. He had his nose in his textbook, walking down the hall to his next class. More like speed walking, he was running a little on the late side. You were lucky enough to have a gap between your classes, so you were in the hall chatting with your friends.

Well, good job Natsuo, he ran right into you. Your back had been turned to him, so he smacked right into you from behind, and you almost fell face first into the floor!

He dropped his book, immediately realizing what he did, and in one motion, grabbed your arm. He pulled you against him, your back to his chest. He kept you from falling on the floor, but he fell for you in the process.

The moment your eyes met his, he was hooked. You jumped to pick his book up, apologizing at the same time he did. Natsuo's hand brushed yours, and his face went red.

"Ah! I'm so sorry... uh... what was your name?"

"Y/n" Natsuo hadn't stuttered since he was a kid, but found himself stuttering when asking to make it up to you with dinner that night. Of course you accepted, who wouldn't? Handsome, sweet, clearly very smart to have made it into the medical courses

Dinner was lovely, of course. He took you out to a nice restaurant and walked you home. He's such a gentleman!

You two were inseparable after this. Natsuo never missed an opportunity to sneak behind you and twirl you around, nibbling your ear the whole time.

Your love together bloomed and only got stronger as the years went on.

How did he propose? At his graduation of course! His family had been taking pictures of the two of you and he suddenly got on one knee

"Y/n? Will you complete my life, by being mine forever?"

Domestic life with Natsuo is always interesting. He still never missed an opportunity to pick you up and twirl you around.

Unfortunately, he didn't always think before doing so

Once you were cooking in the kitchen, he picked you up, and you dropped dinner everywhere.

You both fed each other takeout after cleaning up together.

Life with Natsuo usually includes him making an attempt to cook dinner for you. He wanted to help and give you a hot meal to come home to!

You came home to a charred kitchen, burnt food, and Natsuo nursing some pretty nasty burns on his hands.

Wait, how did scorched noodles get stuck on the ceiling?

You had to bandage his hands and order takeout again. You fed him because "I burned my hands, darling". Bullshit. His cheeky grin gave it away, he could definitely feed himself

Whoa! This got long! Actually, let's keep going!

Life with Natsuo includes frequent movie nights!

He loves to snuggle up with you on the couch and have popcorn while watching the movies you pick out. He doesn't always enjoy them, but he won't let that on. He loves you, and always manages to convince you he picked the last one. Spoiler alert: he didn't. He just loves to see you smile

Speaking of smiles, you've caught him staring at you on more than one occasion. Sometimes at your ass, but most often times at your face with a look of adoration. How could something so beautiful love him like you do?

Natsuo isn't quite sure what he did to deserve you. He's lost in thought one day, watching you go about your business. He had volunteered to wash the dishes as you cleaned up the rest of the kitchen and plated dinner.

You turned to him to tell him dinner was on the table

He had been washing the same glass for about twenty minutes, staring at you with his signature look of pure bliss. It took him a moment to realize you were looking at him too and it took him by suprise.

You laughed and threw your arms around his neck. Natsuo wrapped his soaking wet arms around your waist and kissed you tenderly, pulling you closer

He placed his forehead against yours and whispered to you

"How did I get so lucky, y/n?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Natsuo" and you kissed him again

Dinner was eventually forgotten and needed to be reheated and eaten later.

Again, let me know how I did! I tend to write super fast because I get so excited when I come up with ideas!

[fragileizy]

out of absolute nowhere am i thinking about gwen again after leaving her dad and joining spider society; she's quiet, and the adrenaline of being in a new place just dips. she thinks about her dad, her lack of a mom, she thinks of her peter (god, does she think about her peter), and thinks about how her house— her home— her bedroom is all gone.

there's nothing left.

she finds herself a tiny little corner in miguel's office/brooding area, unsure of what to do, thinking about her dad. her dad. held up at gunpoint by her dad. her dad. here, miguel's office, is the most quiet place all of the spider society, because nueva york is filled with noise, and for once she just wants the deafening silence.

miguel tosses her an empanada one day.

"you don't eat," he says, before she's even asked. she's caught it, of course, because reflexes and spider and things are generally best when caught when things are thrown in someone's general direction. its from the cafeteria. it's warm.

"i haven't been feeling hungry all that much," she mumbles.

he leaves it at that. it's nice, knowing that someone's noticed, but all she can afford is to nibble at her food.

it stays that way for a while. every day, she hides in there; jessica tries to get her out, talks to her, but she keeps retreating. over and over, like clockwork, people try. jessica, trying to get her to come onto missions with her and learn how to be a functional member; peter (peter, peter is here, maybe he'll understand, maybe he'll—) with... mayday. he's a father now. mayday looks so happy with her father. they come often, and she says hello, and she tries to smile, but peter notices the sunken eyes. depression leaks out of her like waves. mayday is so happy to sit in her lap, completely unaware of how broken gwen is.

miguel tosses empanadas every day up there, like a coffee run. each one is different— he probably orders whatever is in the glass case, uninterested in the actual flavour— and she deals with it. blue cheese. spinach. pork. beef. she has a personal vendetta against the salmon one. each one, she nibbles on, doing something to pass the time.

a day comes, and instead of tossing it up and leaving her like that, turning back to his monitors, miguel throws it onto her ledge, sits on his own platform, and waits. waits, and waits, and waits. she's seen his patience, surprisingly long for a man who loves to aggressively snap at anyone— a passionate man, it seems— so when she doesn't budge, and his face settles into the most neutral expression she's ever seen, anxiety starts to build.

"what?" she blurts out.

"eat."

"i will."

"no. now."

"not hungry," she explains, though poorly, because he doesn't even blink.

"i don't care. eat."

"why?"

"because i used to be a father," he replies, blunt and swift, "and i know when a child is grieving."

oh.

"you're a father—"

"'was'. eat. maybe you'll like ham."

she's quick to look up from the styrofoam packaging. "have you been ordering different types on purpose?"

"i didn't know if you were a picky eater."

tears swell up at her waterline. "why... are you helping me?"

"you're sad." this man has no capabilities to be just calm about something, can he? the way he says it just sounds so aggressive, almost like he's imploring her to be sad just so that he'll be right. then, he sighs, broad shoulders going down, something like remorse on his face. "being a spiderman is hard. don't suffer through it on your own."

"i just don't want to bother anyone," she mumbles. "i don't have anywhere to go if this goes to hell, you know? what if i have too many issues?"

a humorless laugh graces his wide lips. "if there's one thing spidermen are good at, it's having issues. you won't be bothering anyone."

"you're busy all the time. with your monitors, and stuff."

"i'll be a good listener until i won't be. and i'll be a terrible person when it comes to advice. trust me, i know. you've seen the way jessica and peter have to reel me back in." he waits until she's done sniffling into her spider suit she's yet to take off, wiping her tears on the back of her hand. "but i created spider society so that we don't have to suffer through things alone. so. talk."

[beware-thegemini]

~~life ramblings below~~

I’ve never done one of these before, but I wanted to ramble now that my life’s become something new (again) and writing these moments down always makes them seem more real.

I finally cleaned the last tenant’s crap off my fire escape this morning and I now have three new terra-cotta planters courtesy of our leasing office who let the old tenant leave soooo much stuff in the apartment. I will say, the free TV was great. But removing some of the literal trash has been a hassle (4th floor walk-up yay!).

I’ve never had a fire escape before. I’ve also never lived in a city before.

So, with the fire escape full of the images of plants I want to plant, and the dishes clean, I walked around my apartment this morning feeling like myself again, while also feeling like I’ve begun something entirely new.

One month ago I moved for the second time this year, completing the second leg of a cross-country drive. I get to live on the East Coast again, a train-ride away from both my family and my husband’s. This is of course, amazing. But I’m also still recovering from the places I’ve left behind, the friends I made by chance, and the lives I painstakingly created for myself. I’ve moved a lot in the past five years. But this past move really shook me up. I’ve never been at a point where I simply needed to go home and play video games and cut flowers and hug my mom, because life lost all meaning and anchor all at once. But it did. And so now I feel like I’m finally stepping out of a multi-week haze, no longer in emergency self-preservation mode, but in an actually living and thriving mode again. And, considering that the past four months were a sort of in-between completely anticipating this move, maybe I've been in a haze for longer than I've thought.

Most excitedly, I’ve just begun an MA in English. It’s exciting to be back in school, having a schedule again and places to be. My classes seem interesting and I have plenty of opportunities to continue all the research I’m interested in. I’m starting a new job as well. But of course the downside of starting over is making friends again, and finding what grocery stores are close so I don’t have to walk a mile uphill to buy food, and figuring out just how the absolute hell my university’s printing works (spoiler alert: not well). There’s something tantalizing about being so much closer to friends and family but still too far for frequent visiting.  And, come mid-September, my job commitments will prevent me from traveling over any weekend until after Christmas. In some ways I still feel like I live too far away from everyone I know.

But the good news is, between classes and work this semester, I should still have plenty of time to write fanfiction. Yes, this was only the first full week of classes and it isn’t an accurate prediction, but it’s a start. I so overloaded my schedule with classes and activities and jobs in undergrad that I barely had time to function. I remembering nearly crying the first time I left campus after fall break as a freshman—going to Walmart to pick up medicine—because simply being off campus was the most beautiful thing ever. Thankfully I have more of a life now. But still, I can’t help but think I’m an eighteen-year-old again, starting college for the first time. Back then, I lived on the fourth floor of a dorm that was also a walk-up. The post cards that used to decorate my wall are now on the fridge.

So, now that life is beginning again, I’m excited to get back to things. Maybe I’ll actually post on tumblr somewhat regularly. Maybe I’ll have time to actually read other people’s fanfictions again and leave comments. Maybe I’ll actually work on some fics I’ve been putting off for years. Maybe I'll keep a diary again.

Maybe I’ll plant some greens in my new planters.

[tenok]

Unfortinately this "how should I notice" stuff is also the same thing that lets people parasite on you (I'm speaking of your typical "man of the house spends all day gaming because how should he know there's stuff he needs to do if women didn't tell him!"). Can you imagine mental load that lays on the shoulders of person that's forced for the functionality of household where they live with other capable adults talk in plain steps every time something needs to be done, be it car washing or dishes or cleaning cat litterbox? When you can't be sure that if you forget something or won't feel like doing something other people in the house will do this stuff on their own, without you checking on them as if you were their mom?

So lets make set of exmples back, yeah?

If someone always does this one thing and suddeny they stopped — ask why (I don't care how much of imposter syndrome prevents you from this! make pre-writen DMs and have them in folders!)

If someones always does this one thing, ask them how they do it! Why they do it like this! Explain to them that they can go for a trip one day or be ill or just don't feel like it and you want to be able to step up!

If something seems to never be in need of fixing (your floors always miraculosly clean, clothes dry, there's food in fridge) — there's no magic cleaning fairy there. Ask other people "was it you work?". Say thank you. Say "hey it looks like you always do this thing tho, how about we share this chore?" BEFORE they'll be forced to go to you and ask when they already at point of breaking/burn out.

Ask if they want to change routine from time to time even if it looks like everything okay. Maybe they didn't know routine can be changed!

Be fucking aware of your surroundings! If here's car in need of washing or dirty dishes or smelly litterbox, with the possibility of 99% it need to be fixed, no matter by who, so if you see this and have time/resources — do it!! Just do it!!! "But I don't notice" — start to notice. Make it your priority. Make notifications, put stickers on walls, write in your hand. "But ADHD" — I have ADHD too. There is the ways (yes there are cases where disability is just too strong, but even there some accomodations can be made. Pay your friend in beer and pizza so they will clean your mess from time to time). If you're new to this, start with asking questions, but again, try to not make all decision making responsibility of other person.

I can't believe it need to be said but: be mindful of your friends and how they interact with you?? See if someone always write first to you. Write first to them from time to time. If someone always plans your outings, ask them if they want let you plan for once. If someone always send you memes, show them meme back. Don't let some part your relationships be just universal truth never in need of checking, chances are that person that Always Does This Thing thinks that this thing is nice and want be treated nice too, or at least acknowledged for this.

That being said, show people that you NOTICE. Say thank you. Compliment them (but please for the love of god, without "haha I couldn't ever wash dishes, how lucky I am to have my roommate" because yes this will reinforce idea that this roommate needs to clean dishes always or else). And be open to discussion. *Start* with "Sorry I'm such a person I can be absent-minded and don't notice some stuff, so I'll be really grateful if you'll say that so and so needs to be done. Please, I really don't want you to do everything there, feel free to bug me!" or "I really value our friendship but I can't read hints and clues, if you ever unhappy of feel like I'm slacking in this friendship, say it plainly, and if you can't lets discuss how we can make it easy for you, ok?"

If you haв some sort of talk, if you come to some form of agreement, again, stick to this! Don't make it into "for a week after we talked I'm present and ater that we go to how things were before"!! It makes any communication absolutely useless!!

Look, I'm not shaming anyone, but there we are, queer and neurodivergent household, all for inqlusivity and open communication, and suddenly if I stop doing the dishes or cleaning litterbox for any reasons it's a "oh we didn't notice" or "what, it wasn't your plan to pile dishes for three days? Well how should've I know!". Or, on more positive note, there's some friends that knows that I can feel insecure about being the one that always talk more and about more random stuff, and even if they just not the kind of people to do the same they made a point of saying from time to time how they appreciate of me fulling their DMs with stuff through tha day so they can have some kind of distraction from work. It works wonderful!

So yes. Please. Show initiative. NOTICE STUFF. Don't make it all a responsibility of oher person and than say "well it's all because they don't know how communicate, I'm not at fault there". If someone needs to lears the rules of how approach things with you, you should learn how approach them too!

I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Rambling, food + body things

I'm making granola, probably way too much of it, it's so high cal that I don't even want to look at the numbers haha but it's gonna be like power food to get me through the day, I'll eat it with plain yogurt, it'll be fine 😅

I'm nervous about going back to work, heavy manual labor in the Texas heat, I haven't built a stage since April, I'm gonna be so out of shape strength-wise, I've been good about walking regularly but I haven't really been carrying heavy things lately, and I've gotten used to mild temps so it's gonna be hard to transition back to heat in the 90s... Good news is I'm 10 lbs skinnier, I got some new shorts for work today that aren't as short as the other ones so maybe the guys won't be looking at my butt all day, hopefully if I can manage to drive 8h each for the next 3 days I can get to Texas a day early so I can get used to the heat and buy groceries.

We're supposed to have a full size fridge and a kitchenette in the hotel room so I'm gonna be able to get actual food and not just eat out every day, I'm thinking yogurt+granola for breakfast, salad and veggies and whatever veg protein catering is serving for lunch, banana for an afternoon snack, and then easy protein foods for dinner like cottage cheese, lentil soups, etc.

Would love to be 105 or under the next time I step on a scale but I also have to prioritize health + body functions above that right now, but if I can at least maintain weight and energy levels that's fine ?? I guess ?? Idk I technically hit my goal weight for the year and I have a history of immediately gaining once the ultimate goal is reached so I'm just gonna see how it goes, don't overthink it, drink electrolytes and eat protein and don't eat crazy junk food -> actually I'm rewriting that sentence bc the new ultimate goal for this year is officially 103 so the plan is to maintain if I must but continue on my journey at the first opportunity :)

Motivation:

thinking about how confident I feel when I'm skinny, being cute and dancing everywhere and existing comfortably in my body; just casually looking skinny in every scenario and photo, taking goofy pics and looking cute instead of awkward; sitting on things and not worrying if my thighs look fat, wearing a crop top and not worrying about bloating after a meal, doing tasks at work in awkward positions but looking cute and fit while doing it, not constantly adjusting my clothes all the time bc everything just sits better;

working at hula, making a good first impression on the art team there, working on cool projects and using my creative/technical skills, learning new things but looking cute rather than clueless; and then show days, wearing cute outfits, swimming in the river, being cold at night and bundling up in cozy clothes, dancing with strangers, floating around like a mysterious woodland creature, confidence to make new friends and explore past my comfort zone

going out in rave clothes for show days in orlando, dancing and cuddling with L and feeling extra tiny next to him, also just seeing him again I know he's gonna pick me up and swirl me around lol would be nice to feel so tiny while that happens :) I finally got myself a set of real earplugs (last time he gave me his and then dragged me to a techno show hahaha) so I feel ready to go out and actually participate this time; also working with the art team over there, they were really snooty last year but it'd be cool to come in all skinny and confident and helpful this year and just radiate good vibes over them;

I gotta start trying a little harder with my work outfits this year, sometimes they look kinda grungy or like dad working in the yard vibes, but I'm trying to elevate my look just a lil bit and being skinny is definitely going to help. Less sweat, smaller thighs/legs, stronger + more visible muscles, looking better in short shorts and crop tops even though I've still been wearing them this whole time lol, big tshirts and longer shorts also look better; wearing bright colors and patterns and tie dye, all of it looks better when you're skinny;

My face looks so much cuter when I'm thinner; skinny hands and wrists on the steering wheel; muscles actually visible in my legs and arms and abs; bones ofc but they kind of get in the way at work, my hipbones are gonna be so bruised after one day; but cheekbones, collarbones, wrist bones, shin bones, shoulder bones, spine... Actually my spine also gets bruised when we have a long standby and I lean up against something hard for too long.

You get the idea. I know I've been saying how skinny I feel like basically since I started losing again which is funny but it's nice to be under 110 officially, it's like a whole new level of skinny :) can we lose another 5 lbs in the next 4-5 weeks?? Maybe, there's gonna be a lot of exercise, hot weather, no one paying attention to what I'm eating or wanting to share food with me, skinny roommate so I can't just snack all night without feeling weird... Could work out!

(God and then I'm going from TX to Florida and I actually can't wait to be so skinny and weigh myself on the stupid giant scales at Publix lmfao that's gonna be so fun)

[beauthebaker]

I once tried to explain to someone why that kind of advice when you have depression is extremely simplistic and not really helpful at all. Cause yes, exercise, despite how difficult it can be to get motivated to do in normal circumstances, has been proven to uplift mood, and release feel good hormones. Exercising has a number of positive benefits: *shocker* But at least with regards to my own depression, there are like 25 implied steps in order to get to the step of "now do exercise", and it starts with a very difficult one: 'get out of bed'.

I assume people think I'm lazy when I say that I spent my entire weekend in bed. It's so much worse than that. It's a weekend of terrible sleep-wake cycles, trying to will myself out of bed, not eating, and hating myself for not being able to take care of myself, which leads to, you guessed it, less motivation for leaving the bed.

But even after leaving the bed so many basic functional things in order to get to the gym, or go outside, or wherever I want to do exercise requires so many steps, and decisions.

Assuming the bare minimum and I just wanna go outside for a walk, or a run on the weekend when I "have time".

I have to: eat something (do I have food? probably not because I didn't do my groceries because I just wanted to go home after work), not eat that food in bed, not eat that food in front of the computer, not eat that food in front of the TV (yes these are real choice I have to make, if I do any of these I will likely not get up again for 3+ hours), put on clothes (do I have clean clothes? maybe? might also just have a pile of less and more dirty laundry), put shoes and socks on (find socks that somewhat match), make sure I have water (probably wash my water bottle), get over the fear of looking like an idiot, and walk down the stairs of my apartment go outside, and actually start walking. This is bare minimum, and each of these decisions is filled with self-doubt, and a voice that tells me "it's not worth it. You're not worth it. Give up. Sit down. Lie down. It's too late to exercise now. Sleep. You waited too long. Give up. Disappear. Fade away."

So yeah, Exercise! I'll get right on it!

[sophiemess]

MORNING MOMENTS

pairing(s): post-timeskip fukunaga, hinata, & akaashi (separately) x gn! reader

tags: some cute morning fluff, bad pickup lines

warnings: minor food mention in hinata & akaashi

a/n: oh to be the lover of timeskip hinata shoyo anyway this has been sitting in my drafts for months so i finally posted it i'll try to write more often i Swear

it’s a familiar day—shohei is singing in the shower like he always is, and you’re standing at the bathroom counter brushing your teeth, watching the mirror steam up. his singing is horrible in possibly every way possible but you’re positive there’s a smile on his face behind the white shower curtain.

“shohei,” you sigh as he takes another breath to start up, pausing abruptly.

“yes? you don’t need to compliment my singing, thank you, it’s a given.”

you snort, toothpaste falling into the sink. “yeah, whatever floats your boat. anyway, what color clothes are you wearing today? i want to coordinate them.”

shohei smacks his lips loudly. “mmmm, wow, fancy. i’m thinking about wearing some fulvous with eburnean, maybe a hint of amaranth while i’m at it? or i can throw in some xanadu and spice it up a bit.”

“you don’t know what any of those mean, do you.”

“no, not in the slightest. how about yellow?”

“yellow is fine.” although, you think, he does look best in pink. i mean, then again, what doesn’t he look good in? and before you can stop them, the thoughts: “you’re handsome in every color.”

he chuckles and even though he can’t see you you throw your hands over your eyes. holy crap that was embarrassing.

“that’s cute,” he giggles. shohei only giggles—he doesn’t really laugh. “can i use your soap?”

“use your own, heathen.”

“i can’t believe you’re divorcing me.”

you roll your eyes with a smile. “you are so extra.”

then there’s a deep sigh, “how dare you. i’m so heartbroken i’m going to use your soap anyway.”

you wash your toothbrush and can’t help beaming as you pull the shower curtain back just enough to smack a kiss onto his lips, which taste strongly of water. he freezes up and he doesn’t even laugh as you open the bathroom door to leave. so instead you do the chuckling for him:

“who’s the cute one now?”

finally you hear his laughter, “that was a horrible line.”

he’s right, but you weren’t even trying to be funny; you really just wanted to hear him laugh.

shoyo wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your ear over the buzz of the coffee machine. “good morning, meu amor,” he hums, tussling your hair. “lazy day, hm?”

“good morning, and, well, for you, maybe,” you step back into his arms to peck his cheek, glancing over his sleep-ridden outfit; a white shirt with plaid pajama pants, his bright orange hair messy and spiky. there’s still some sleep in the corner of his eyes, which you wipe with your thumb. “i’m going for a walk. it’s a nice morning.”

shoyo lets go and steps back, looking over your outfit with a dazed smile. his eyes linger on your legs, accentuated by your pants, and you give him a playful whack. “no staring,” you joke. “i have a husband.”

“hey,” he whines, following you (who’s chuckling) to the cabinet and tucking his face into the space between your neck and shoulder. “i am the husband—doesn’t that count for anything?”

your laugh is punctured by a, “no.”

“unbelievable. your coffee’s done.”

you pour it into two cups, one for him and one for you, making sure to throw in the thousand spoonfuls of sugar he can barely function without. he takes it from you and sips it, closing his eyes appreciatively. “thanks!”

“you’re welcome. gonna head out, okay, baby?”

shoyo winks as he takes your place at the counter. “i’ll have breakfast waiting when you come back.”

keiji is asleep face-down on his desk when you find him, manuscript open on his laptop and cursor blinking. you chuckle and shake his shoulder, setting the fresh cup of tea next to him. “huh?” your husband jumps awake, eyes taking a second to recognize your blurry albeit smiling form, but he gives you a sleepy beam once he recognizes you. “oh, good morning, love.”

“good morning,” you plant a kiss on his forehead and he hums, picking up the tea and sipping it delicately. “did you have a good sleep?”

“terrible, actually. my back hurts.”

you ruffle his hair with one of your hands and reach behind him to lightly massage his back through his tanktop, feeling the curve of his spine and to which he lets out a deep breath at. “maybe if you’d stop working until one am, you could sleep in a normal position and not kill your back,” you tease, although it’s partly a genuine suggestion.

“sorry,” he says sheepishly. “i’ll try not to anymore, love, you know i do.”

“aw, keiji, i was just kidding,” you laugh at the blush that spreads across his face and kiss his cheek, sliding his glasses up onto his face. he blinks, your beautiful face suddenly becoming visible, and he can’t help a lovesick smile. no wonder he got married to you. he feels dizzy with love whenever he sees your eyes.

“want breakfast?” you ask, helping him up. he cracks his back as he stands, and you can’t help admiring all the little details about his appearance—the age marks on his shoulders, the little freckles that litter his chest, the stretch marks on his armpits. you’ve fallen in love with perfection; he hasn’t become any less perfect since you met him all those years ago.

“only if i get to help you make it,” keiji smiles, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “french toast?”

you nod in agreement, kissing his hand, “french toast.”

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[queentheweeb]

Monoma X Blind, Deaf Female Reader X Shinso

A/N: You're basically Helen Keller

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It was already an issue when you were born blind. You didn't mind it per se but, you did grow jealous when you heard children speaking about how pretty someone was or how bright of color that piece of clothing was. The bullying didn't help and then when your quirk manifested it was hard to make it work. You couldn't describe what it looked like but you were able to feel and hear it. Your mom has a telepathy quirk and your dad has a mind-reading quirk, low and beholds you got both. You practiced your quirk on your own accepting the fact that you will never go to a hero school with your disability. Then as if the devil was working overtime when you were 10 you got in a car accident that made you go deaf. Your ears could have been fixed but, implants were way out of your parent's price range so now you were subjected to a very quiet and dark world. Well, it was quiet until your mind-reading quirk went out of control and you heard everything that the bullies or people in general thought.

"Why is the freak always in the way"

"It makes it so much easier to say shit knowing she can't hear"

"Hah! She's so pathetic. How can you even function without hearing and seeing."

"I'm surprised she hasn't killed herself yet."

"She can't even tell the teachers who are doing this to her! This is amazing. We all can do whatever we want to her!"

Now just because you couldn't hear and see doesn't mean you were impaired everywhere else. You were able to sense when someone was near you or when someone was staring at you and about to do something. Due to your reflexes, you were able to avoid milk and food thrown on you and everything else in between. It was a sad way to live and you thought about killing yourself more than once. You didn't though because you wanted to live and be productive in life despite the challenges that were thrown at you.

"She's going to get hurt" The voice was relatively close and it was a smooth baritone. Warm and soft. You were jealous of whoever that person was. All of a sudden you felt a hand grab your arm and jerk you out of the way. You turned hoping you were facing whoever tugged on you.

"Are you okay?" "Can she understand me?" It's a good thing you had a mind-reading quirk and were taught to speak before you went deaf.

"I have a mind-reading quirk but I am both blind and deaf." You can only pray that your words didn't slur too much. You went to walk away but felt a tug on your arm again and you supposed it was the same person from before

"My name is Shinsou, what's yours?" Shinsou huh? That had a nice ring to it

"My name is L/N, it's nice to meet you Shinsou." Your hackles were lowered instantly finding comfort in the first person who has ever stuck up for you and was actually trying to communicate with you. It was a nice change 

"I know you can't see or hear but my friend Monoma is beating up the bullies. He's on his way over right now" Now you just felt guilty. It was one thing to be a bother because of your disabilities but now some guy you don't know could possibly get suspended 

"Is he going to get in trouble?" You couldn't hear or see anything but you sensed a second person unaware of the quick conversation that transpired between the two of them.

"Hey Y/N my name is Monoma. My friend here told me about your quirk and I think it's great!" You froze at what came out of his mouth. He thought your quirk was great?

"You don't care that I am blind and deaf?" You hoped this wasn't some damn trick. You hated tricks 

"I understand that life hasn't been nice to you but I promise that I and Shinsou won't hurt you. Everyone deserves a friend in life." You don't know what compelled you. Maybe the strain of your disabilities. The lack of social contact but you reached out for their hands happy when you felt them grab yours and you started walking. You felt your walking cane get pulled from under your arm 

"I'll hold it for you and while we walk let's talk-er think?"  You let out a giggle figuring that this wasn't going to be too bad after all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was a difficult chapter to write.

[roxannepolice]

So yeah, this happened 😁

The Doctor groaned again and made a pathetic attempt at getting himself untangled. All he achieved was getting his knee closer to his nose, which couldn't be pleasant.

- Oh, alright - he finally wailed, knowing better than to experiment with the Master's stubbornness. - So I woke up maybe half an hour ago, with this strong itch for a banana, and you looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn't want to take you up, so I tiptoed out and into the kitchen, and I ran into Shaun who was finishing his lunch before going to the class, and so I say "hi", and he says "hi" too, and I open the fridge to get my banana, but an apple falls out and Shaun goes "damn, this thing really could use some tidying", and I turn to him "wait, fridges need to be cleaned?", so he laughs, not that I know why, and says "don't worry, Spaceman, I'll take care of it once I get home", and then he says "bye" and leaves, and I'm still standing right where you're standing now, and I think "blimey, so the Earth fridges don't have an automatic food dematerialization function? gotta install one, but hey, I could just clean it out myself now, Shaun will be so happy when he gets home!", so I take all this stuff out, and- look, Master, have you ever seen an empty fridge?! They're absolutely brilliant, they are, so neat, and empty and metallic, and did you know the light turns off right when you close the door?! Because I just couldn't believe and I think to myself "hey, maybe if I keep my eye just very close to the door while it's closing, I'll see the light turning off", but that didn't work! So I decide the only way to check this is to be inside the fridge when it's closed! And so-

- And so you got inside the fridge, closed the door and found out you can't get out - the Master broke the rambling when his felt his eyelid starting to twitch.

- But the light does turn off! - the Doctor shouted with enthusiasm that should be covering the embarassment, but was way too honest to believe that.

- Which still leaves you stuck inside the fridge - the Master reminded in a flat voice, the flatness covering hysterical undertones.

- Oh, yes, right, right. Yes, there's that. So. Now that I've told you the story... Get me out? - the Doctor asked with one of the innocently oblivious smiles that shouldn't look so natural on an entity older than whole civilizations.

The Master smacked his lips and lifted his catbrowser.

- Aaaaah, c'mon! - the Doctor exclaimed as flashlight blinded him.

The full story, with Donna's busy day at work and Shaun's confusion us here:

The fourteenth doctor is the type of person to get bored one day, decide he’s going to clean out the fridge because why not he’s not busy and it needs cleaning anyway, then halfway through start wondering if he could fit inside it, then inevitably get stuck and have to call Donna for help