#and on the second day we brought a teapot and some real tea

[aliosne]

Almost a year since I did an intensive bra-making workshop, got so stressed out I broke out in hives for weeks, and came out with something that looked like a muzzle on a dog

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Cater Diamond - Dorm Uniform Vignette

"Say cheese ☆"

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Lounge]

Cater: Hey, all you Heartslabyul second and third years～! Come gather in front of Trey-kun～!!

Heartslabyul Student C: Yes, sir! All second years are present and accounted for.

Heartslabyul Student D: All third years are already here.

Trey: I'm sure you're all aware, but an Unbirthday Party will be upon us soon.

Heartslabyul Student A: Yay! An Unbirthday Party!

Heartslabyul Student B: There'll be the sweetest cake and the finest tea. And the croquet tournament!

Cater: Hey now, everyone simmer down～! Pay attention to Trey-kun!

Trey: Even though the adherence to the Queen of Hearts' laws have somewhat relaxed ever since that "incident"…

Trey: The Unbirthday Party is an important tradition to us here in Heartslabyul.

Cater: Let's make sure to prep everything good ahead of time so that we can all be happy and enjoy the party the day of.

Cater: If for some reason we throw a shoddy party…

Cater: Riddle-kun'll have all our heads～☆

Trey: Haha, so that's about the gist of it. Let's work together to get this Unbirthday Party underway.

Heartslabyul Students: Yes, sir, Vice Dorm Leader!

Cater: Mmkay, then I'll explain how the roles are divvied up.

Cater: All the firsties'll be doing the traditional "painting of the roses."

Cater: And you'll fix up the playing field and equipment to get ready for the traditional sport of croquet.

Trey: You second and third years we'll split into three groups. Team Trey will be making the food with me.

Trey: Since the Dorm Leader is pretty particular about how it all tastes, especially the cake, I chose the members of this team.

Cater: And Team Cater'll be setting up the tea venue with me.

Cater: Let's make sure the table setting'll be cute and photogenic, chaotic and edgy.

Trey: And finally, Team Riddle will be in charge of the overall budget and scheduling.

Cater: Though technically Trey-kun and me're both part of Team Riddle, too… Man.

Trey: Alright, let's all split off into our groups and begin our tasks.

Cater: 'Kay, everyone, lezgo～☆

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Tea Garden]

Cater: So, tomorrow's the Unbirthday party.

Cater: Let's all start setting up for it!

Heartslabyul Student A: Diamond-senpai, I brought the cutlery set, including all the knives and forks, from storage.

Cater: Thankies～ Let's snap a pic of all you hard-working second years! Say cheese ☆

[snap!]

Cater: And then gotta upload it to Magicam right away!

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Silverware #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansBusyDay

Heartslabyul Student A: Uh… Wouldn't it be better to upload the pictures at the actual event…?

Heartslabyul Student B: Diamond-senpai, I brought the tea set.

Cater: Nice!! In that box we got a real authentic spout-less teapot.

[snap!]

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #ChaoticTeaSet #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansItsSomeonesBirthday

Heartslabyul Student C: Cater-senpai, I've finished washing the tablecloths. I'm ironing them now!

Cater: Good job! How many of those cloths did we have all together, again?

[snap!]

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Tablecloth #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansHappyBirthdayWhoeverItIs

Heartslabyul Student A: …Hey, is Cater-senpai always like that? It's not that he's just a cheerful dude?

Heartslabyul Student B: Seriously, he hasn't even done any work, has he?

Heartslabyul Student C: Yeah. We gotta carry all the heavy stuff, and he's just playing on his phone...

Riddle: You lot. How are the preparations for the party faring?

Heartslabyul Student A: Ah, Rosehearts-ryōchō!

Heartslabyul Student B: Have you come to check in on our team?

Heartslabyul Student C: Well… It's kind of hard to say, but… Please take a look at what Cater-senpai is doing.

[snap!]

Cater: Maaarvellous!!

[snap!]

Cater: Exxxcellent!!

Heartslabyul Student A: We're supposed to be getting ready for the party, but it seems like he's already started. Is that really alright?

Riddle: Rrrghh…

[Riddle stomps over]

Riddle: Cater!!

Cater: Riddle-kun…!?

Heartslabyul Student A: (Hehe… He's gonna get in trouble.)

Riddle: Cater, how is the venue setup faring?

Cater: Did you come to check up on us? That's so nice of you!! I gotta snap a pic with the oh-so-kind Dorm Leader.

[snap!]

Heartslabyul Student B: (Ehhhhhhh!!)

Heartslabyul Student C: (Cater-senpai, that's way too bold…!!)

Riddle: The placement of everything for the tea party is crucial. I've trusted you with this, so make sure to be absolutely thorough.

Riddle: Now, then… I shall go and see how Trey's group is getting along.

Cater: Okaaay. Say hi to Trey-kun for me ☆

Heartslabyul Student A: The Dorm Leader just… let that slacker off the hook… Why wasn't it off with his head?

Heartslabyul Student B: Tch, so even that strict Riddle-ryōchō gives favors to his friends.

Heartslabyul Student C: Uggh～ Makes me not wanna do anything～ It'd be great if this whole tea party play pretend thing went up in smoke…

Cater: Oh hey, that box you just brought over has the jam jar. That's super essential!

[snap!]

Cater: 'Kay, everyone. Let's keep it going and make this the best Unbirthday Party ever!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Tea Garden]

―Day of the Unbirthday Party

Cater: Kaay, all the prep's complete.

Cater: Let's get this Unbirthday Party started!!!

Everyone: Hooray!!!!!

Deuce: Whew～ I finished eating my portion. Finally, I can dig into Clover-senpai's homemade cake.

Ace: Deuce, you sure have a big appetite. I'm already stuffed from having to eat all the first years' failed cakes.

Cater: Heeey! All you first years, you hyped up or what?

Deuce/Ace: Diamond-senpai. / Cater-senpai.

Cater: Ace-chan, is it your birthday today?

Ace: Me? No, my birthday's 9/23.

Cater: Oh, then maybe it's Deuce-chan's?

Deuce: Me? No, mine is 6/3.

Cater: And my birthday is 2/4. That's not day. That means～

Cater: A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

Ace: Ahh… Uhhh… Yeah, Happy Unbirthday…

Deuce: I-I really can't keep up with this energy. I have to raise my spirits some more, I guess.

Cater: Hey, c'mon, you guys gotta get more hyped～

Cater: I came all the way here to give thanks to the two guys who worked so hard behind the scenes to get this party going.

Cater: A ton of issues went down before the party got started, didn't it?

Ace: There was the incident with the hedgehogs we use for the croquet tournament escaping.

Deuce: And the flamingos ran away too.

Cater: On top of that there was also the incident with you first years snatching the cake making job from Trey-kun.

Cater: Which in turn brought about Riddle going berserk over the grotesque cake you all made.

Deuce: The cake incident was all Ace's fault.

Ace: Don't put it all on me. I was just trying to see if there were other options for the cake, is all.

Cater: Uh-huh. Let's just go over all the troubles that went on today with Trey-kun tonight…

Cater: And for now, just enjoy this tea party that we all put together!

Deuce/Ace: Sure.

Deuce: But yeah, anyway, this party really has a ton of weird rules.

Ace: Like, when I tried to pour some tea from the pot sitting in front of me, there was a dormouse inside…

Cater: Shhh. Part of the etiquette is to make sure the dormouse is sleeping.

Deuce: My teacup has a huge hole in the bottom of it.

???: Then you should just stack a bunch of cups and drink out of that～

Chenya: Who says the large one has to be the pot and the small one has to be the cup, anyway?

Ace: Ack! There's a head floating in the air! Wait, you're…

Deuce: Ch'nya! Is someone not from Heartslabyul allowed to be in here?

Cater: Heya, Chenyan! Those pants are the bee's knees, as always!

Chenya: I don't really like bees. If I'm gonna eat somethin', I'd rather it be a mouse～

Dormouse: !!!!???? Chu chu～～～～～☆○×△□! [Cat!]

Cater: Oh shoot! Chenyan woke up the dormouse in the pot.

Ace: Ack! Hey! Stop jumping all over the table! Come onnn, you're messing everything up!

Deuce: Uhh, was one of the Unbirthday Party rules that we have to spread jam on the dormouse's nose if it wakes up!?

Cater: We can do the jam later, but for now, we need to catch that dormouse～～～～!!

Chenya: I might be cat-like, but I'm still human. Obviously, I wouldn't eat a dormouse.

Chenya: That's why, as soon as I grab a bite of the cake Trey made, I'm gonna split～

Chenya: Dum dee dum～～～ ♪

Riddle: Well now, it's almost time. Go on, Vice Dorm Leader.

Cater: Everyone～ Eyes on Trey-kun!

Trey: With this, the Unbirthday party has come to a close!

Trey: Now that it's ended, it's time to clean up. Let's try to finish it up before the day ends.

Cater: First years'll clean the croquet field and throw away all the trash.

Cater: Second and third years'll wash all the dishes and take down the tea party venue decorations.

Riddle: We will continue to follow the Queen of Hearts' laws while cleaning up as well.

Riddle: The tea sets and croquet equipment in particular have a specific box and order they should be put away.

Riddle: Make absolute sure that you follow the rules to the letter! Understood?

Everyone: Yes, sir, Dorm Leader!!

Trey: Team Trey has finished washing the dishes and cutlery. We're handing it over here to Team Cater for proper storage.

Cater: Thankies, Trey-kun.

Cater: Alright, all you Team Cater folk～ Time to put it all away according to the rules ♡

Heartslabyul Student A: Cater-senpai, we have a problem! I can't find the memo on how to store the tea sets.

Heartslabyul Student B: Without it, we won't know which dish should go in which box…

Heartslabyul Student C: And now we don't even know if we have the right number of cutlery or linens, either…

Riddle: What did you say!? You may have lost some of Heartslabyul's most time-honored utensils…? Hrrrnnngh...

Heartslabyul Student B: Our sincerest apologies, Dorm Leader, this is completely our fault.

Heartslabyul Student C: But… Cater-senpai was in charge, and all he did was play around the whole prep time.

Deuce: Those guys…

Ace: Ugh, they're trying to shove all their own mistakes onto someone else.

Heartslabyul Student A: Cater-senpai, did you even do your duty properly?

Heartslabyul Student B: Cater-senpai, answer us!!

Heartslabyul Student C: Come on, say something!

Cater: …

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Tea Garden]

Heartslabyul Student A: This was our Unbirthday Party. And who was the one completely neglecting the proper management of all the tableware…?

Heartslabyul Student B: That was all your responsibility, Cater-senpai.

Cater: …

Cater: …You're right.

Heartslabyul Student C: Eh!?

Cater: That's my bad. Sorry to all my Team Cater folks too.

Cater: It was supposed to be celebration. That's why I wanted us to have fun without just ordering everyone around.

Cater: Guess I'm not really cut out to be a team leader. I really am sorry.

Ace: Cater-senpai…

Deuce: …

Cater: So I guess that was Cay-kun failing to follow through. So let's take a pic of this sad, sad moment!

[snap!]

Heartslabyul Students: HUUUUUUH～～～～～!?

Heartslabyul Student A: Are you seriously taking a selfie in this tense atmosphere!?

Heartslabyul Student B: And you're posting it online already!?

Deuce: Nothing can get through to him… He's way too far gone into his phone addiction…

Cater: I've uploaded my sincere feelings towards everyone to Magicam, so make sure to check it out ☆

Heartslabyul Student A: Rosehearts-ryōchō, isn't this a blatant violation of the Queen of Hearts' Laws!?

Heartslabyul Student B: Shouldn't it be off with Diamond-senpai's head already?

Riddle: …

Ace: Huh? Wait a moment.

Deuce: What's up, Ace?

Ace: Woah, check out Cater-senpai's Magicam!!

Deuce: Huh!? What's with you now? Is this dorm just filled with oddballs or something?

Ace: Listen to what I gotta say, first. Look at Cater-senpai's Magicam…

Ace: He's kept a complete record of all the preparations that went down for the party!!

Deuce: Eh? Like, not just stuff during the party, but the set-up portion too?

Deuce: Let me look through his account…

Cater: It's only a tea party until we have to clean up (>д<;) #NRC #Silverware #ChaoticTeaSet #Tablecloth

Ace: Click on the tags that start with that # sign.

Deuce: What tags? He basically has a # in front of every word.

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Silverware #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansBusyDay

Deuce: Pictures of all the silverware being set up showed up!

Ace: And it's not just the cutlery.

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #ChaoticTeaSet #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansItsSomeonesBirthday

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Tablecloth #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansHappyBirthdayWhoeverItIs

Deuce: There's so many pictures on here, all ordered by the type of dish, from unboxing to the set up.

Ace: If we scroll through this account, I think we'll be able to check the type and number of utensils we have, as well as how it should be stored, yeah?

Cater: Ace-chan, that's a nice idea! You're my savior～☆

Cater: Hey, Heartslabyul!!

Heartslabyul Students: Yeaaah?

Cater: Can you all give me a hand?

Cater: Using your boy Cay-kun's account, confirm the amount and proper boxes of each cup and pot! Please!!

Deuce: Roger!

Ace: Now it's like a treasure hunt, this is getting kinda fun.

Heartslabyul Student A: Tch… Lucky break, Cater-senpai…

Ace: Cater-senpai, I've sorted through every silverware and paired them with the proper storage box.

Deuce: Diamond-senpai, I've finished sorting through the strange teapots as well.

Cater: Thank you, everyone～!

Cater: So all that's left is to put each thing in their proper case and we'll be done.

Cater: Now, leave everything else to me!

Cater: I'll use the Autonomous magic I just learned, and…

Cater: Here we go!

Ace: Woah! The cups and saucers started flying around!!

Deuce: And in a perfect line, too!!

Cater: All you little tableware, thanks for your hard work during our Unbirthday Party!

Cater: Time for you to go back home and have a good long rest.

Trey: Haha… That Cater. Practical magic used to be his weaker area.

Trey: He only shows his true strength when it's something that'll make his life a bit easier, huh.

Riddle: Seriously. He's a shrewd one.

Ace: Hey, hey, Dorm Leader, don't forget that I came in clutch to save Cater-senpai here.

Riddle: Uh-huh. Oh, Ace, how quickly you let yourself get carried away.

Ace: Eh? Like, not just stuff during the party, but the set-up portion too?

Trey: I'm pretty sure Cater had planned to upload everything to Magicam and make a list of all the utensils from the very beginning.

Riddle: He was able to take advantage of the situation and put to good use everyone else not in his group, as well.

Trey: And that's not all. Look at Cater's follower count.

Ace: Ah! It's gone up by more than 100 people! Must be because he got the rest of the dormmates not in his grade to follow him at once…

Deuce: Looks like he got you, Ace.

Trey: Hahah. He really is a shrewd one, yeah…

Cater: Oh hey, Ace-chaaaaan.

Cater: Take a picture for me of my magic in full swing! I want to upload it to Magicam later.

Cater: I'm gonna pump out some more magic. Here we go!

Requested by Anonymous.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by callmen1cc) Saileach/Lee

“A game of cards?” Mr. Lee, owner of Lee’s Detective Agency, glanced at the clock in the Doctor’s office. “I’m not one to suffer the weight of a workday needlessly, but we only have an hour or so left of this shift, do we not?”

The Doctor, still shuffling a deck of cards they’d pulled out of their desk, shrugged. “I’m done for the day mentally already. Might as well give you a break, too; for all your talk about me taking it easier, the past few days you’ve really thrown yourself at the paperwork.”

“You noticed? I’ll appreciate you looking out for me, then. Just the two of us, though?” The Lung didn’t know many interesting card games that could be played one-on-one.

“Hmm… You’ve got a good point.” They gestured towards the door just as it began to open. “Fortunately, I invited some other folks. Oh, Saileach, you brought scones? Delightful, we still have some tea from earlier. Lee, could you- Lee?”

It took a second for the detective to notice he was being addressed. “Ah, right, sorry, Doctor. Tea, yes?”

“Yeah.” Their mask raised an eyebrow-ridge. “You need this more than I thought you did.”

“Eheh, right, yes.” As a pair of Operators who Lee didn’t recognize unfolded a table in the middle of the office floor, he tended to freshening up the tea and taking note of the Operator he did recognize, if only by his work with their records.

Saileach, the Lung remembered, had come to the ship from Rhodes Island’s County Hillock branch, shortly after the… well, whatever mess happened there. Lee hadn’t been there for it, or on the ship for that matter - business in Lungmen to attend to - but he’d gone through the files for some light reading. What those files hadn’t told him, unfortunately, was how stunning she looked even in a standard uniform.

When he joined the rest at the table, teapot in hand, the detective had regained his mask of composure. Or, at least, what counted as composure for Lee. “Alright, now that we’ve got a real table and some real folk gathered, what’s the game, Doctor?”

“There’s more than one?” The Doctor started dealing as soon as everyone was around the table. “I only know the game these folks taught me. What’s it called, Oliver?”

“Beats the devil out of me,” the veteran Operator muttered, looking at his cards unhappily.

The Lung slid his cards to the center. “I’ll watch the first game, then.”

“Oh, it’s not that hard to learn,” one of the other guests chuckled, much happier with their hand. “You picked it up in the first game, didn’t you, Miss Jane- Sorry, Saileach?”

“We’re all friends, here, Will. You can call me Janie, too, Mr. Lee.”

He looked at his cards as he replied, “Then, likewise, Janie, call me Lee. Only my clients and my ki- agents call me ‘Mister.’”

“Is that right?” The Doctor asked with a mask-smirk. “I guess I’ll have to go back to using honorifics with you, then. Since Monsieur Lee’s learning, Oliver, mind starting us off?”

“You mind dealing me a better hand first?” He cracked back, which got the whole table laughing to various degrees.

As Janie and the Doctor absolutely schooled the rest of the table, and the hour before the shift ended bled into the hours after, Lee found himself in a strange mood. The other Operators she’d brought with her - Oliver, Shredder, and Will, he’d quickly learned - weren’t just fond of her, but clearly saw her as part of their found family… Where’d he seen that before? She was young, sharp-minded but much kinder with it than most, and above all, a joy to be around.

Why was it, then, that when she looked at him, the Vouivre’s smile felt different?

Eventually, the Doctor decided it was time to call it a night, and dutifully, his Operators cleaned off the table before following him out. As they went their separate ways, Lee found himself alone with Saileach - how’d that happened? Well, no reason to walk with dead air between them. “You’re from one of the Victorian offices, right, Janie?”

“County Hillock’s, yes.” The light in her eyes had cooled, though it might have just been the hallway being darker than the office had been. “You mentioned you’re from Lungmen?”

“Nowadays, certainly.”

She looked at him curiously. Her smile had grown a bit, too. “‘Nowadays?’”

“I’ve called Lungmen home for a long time now,” he replied, cool as a cucumber, “but it’s not where I was born. Between the two, the former’s certainly made me the man I am today more than the latter, so nowadays, I’ll answer honestly ‘I’m from Lungmen.’ Maybe not the spirit most ask the question in, but more accurate than talking about the folks I knew from before.”

“That makes sense - it’s not the circumstances of our birth, but what we do with the life we’re given, right?” Saileach could relate to that.

Lee chuckled. “Spoken like a true scholar.”

“Oh, I’m not a scholar by any means,” she blushed. “I’ve studied some history, but I mostly read romance novels by-the-by.”

“Ah, the joys of youth: to watch love blossom and flower without regret.” Not that the Lung had any regrets regarding his love life… Not enough to reckon, at least.

Janie watched him in silence for a moment - more directly than he watched her, at least. Her gaze sped up his heart rate. “Are you not a fan of Victorian romances, then, Lee?”

“I can’t say I’m a fan or a critic; I simply haven’t read many.” He turned his eyes away. “Though perhaps, if I had some recommendations…?”

“I can give you a few to borrow, actually. The salary here is rather generous, and I couldn’t help but indulge myself a little. Actually, my room isn’t too far from here - you can start on them tonight, if you’d like.”

The detective had known it was going to be that simple, but it still made his heart flutter in a new, delightful way.

[sdv-mostly-shane]

not sure if this has been asked or written before, but what a about a 'sort of cryptid like farmer' and shane? a farmer that's just a little bit more on the non human side kinda thing, if thats alright

A special Spooktember treat for you guys- I hope you enjoy. Been saving this one until it was appropriately close enough to spooky season. Also- TIL that goblincore is a quite delightful aesthetic-read til the end to get the full ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* vibes *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ they’re feral AND charming.

Just Goblin Things

Summary: There’s something sinister in Cindersnap Forest, and Shane is the one to come face to face with the creature. What he finds is a more than just a little magical, and he can’t wait to discover more.

Trigger warning : very brief, vague insinuations of alcohol; general spookyness.

“Seb, how many more until we can go back to my house?’

“Just a minute, Sam. I can hear one croaking just over there…“

“Yoba, what was that!-look, there in the bush!” A flash of green had caught Abigails eye, followed by a loud scrambling noise. She pushed herself off the ground, using Sam’s shoulder as a boost, and leaped toward the sound, searching for its maker.

“What kind of frog was that?”

“I didn’t even see anything. Probably just some raccoon or something.” They watched Abby crawl around a small thicket of bushes, peeking in between branches as she went. “Leave it alone, Abby, you don’t want to catch rabies.”

“Raccoons don’t have green eyes, Seb,” she said, as she perked her head up to listen to a faint crinkling of leaves. “Listen, do you hear that? It almost sounds like.. hissing?”

“What, like a snake?”

“No, like a-AH!” Abby shrieked, and fell back. The two boys ran towards her. “No, get back, it might see you!” She was referencing the massive pair of green speckled eyes that were now accompanied with a gnarly, toothy grimace emerging from the bush. From it, came an ungodly snarling and hissing.

“Alright, time to go,” Seb yanked the two teenagers away from the creature, and they started to run. Once they had made it inside Sam’s house, the trio slammed his bedroom door and jumped on the bed. They sat for a moment in silence, listening to each other’s panting breath. Abby began to say something, but Sebastian interrupted, “we’re not gonna talk about it. Just don’t-nothing happened. We didn’t see anything. Got it?” Abby huffed in frustration, and protested with him, arguing that they needed to get back out there and figure it out. All Sam could do was stare at his floor, stunned at what had just happened.

The next day, Sam went to start his shift at the Joja Mart on edge from the night before. Shane was working the freezer when he spotted him-he had picked up a packaged of individually sealed pancakes seven minutes ago and was still staring at it, unmoving. “Uh, you alright, bud?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it…” His voice seemed far away, but he managed to finally move, making to put away the product. He turned to him, “Shane, you live in Cindersnap Forest. Have you ever seen anything… weird… there?”

“You mean besides Mayor Lewis sneaking out the back window and crawling around the house, thinking I can’t see him?”

“What?”

“No, never seen anything.”

“Well we did, Abby, Seb, and I, last night.”

“And?”

“Well, nothing really actually happened-it just scared us, really. Made a really ugly sound and showed it’s teeth to us. It must have just been some animal… but the thing is… gah, I can’t even say it.”

Shane tossed a bag of multipurpose detergent at him, demanding, “C’mon, say it.”

“Ouch, Yoba, alright. I didn’t tell the others, but when we were running away, I looked back and.. and well, I saw it run away and it was on two legs like a person.”

“Hah, okay you got me. There’s nothing in that forest, kid, don’t think about it too much.” Shane slapped the back of Sam’s shoulder, bidding him to just do his work, and went about finishing the stocking. He’d look over, occasionally, to see the golden-haired teen zoned into space again, but he didn’t have the mental capacity to really care at that point; he just needed to get through his shift.

______________________________________________

Shane looked at his phone-11:26 PM. He’d gone out, not able to sleep, and forced himself to take a cold walk through the woods to avoid the saloon. Shivering, not just from the cold, he made his way over to the edge of the lake. He enjoyed watching the little sparkling fish swim, their silver scales glisten underneath the shallow water… Swishing and splashing and crashing-crashing? He flipped his body around to see the source of the crash-in front of the big tree, in a disheveled pile, sat the farmer. They were brushing the leaves out of their hair and dusting off their knees.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh! Goodness, Shane, you scared me.”

“You’re the one who fell out of the tree.”

The farmer finger-gunned, “You got me there,” and stood up, gathering the belongings that tumbled from their satchel.

Shane watched them, and smirked at seeing them covered in Earth matter-leaves, moss, dirt-it all seemed to have managed to stick to them as they tumbled down the tree. “You’re covered in dirt.”

“Oh, yeah I am.” The farmer brushed off their apron and body. Dirt, rocks, and leaves fell from their arms, but the moss stayed firmly attached.

Now with a clear view, Shane could see that their skin wasn’t quite right. It looked jaundiced from their shoulders down, where the color faded to a sickly vibrant green down to their finger tips. The moss had attached itself to their elbows and seemed to grow down to their fingertips. As the farmer moved about, their arms coming in and out of scattered streaks of moonlight, he could almost see it blinking at him. Was it growing on their arm? He blinked trying to make sense of it, “No, no I meant your arms have-“

“Oh, Hey Franklin.”

Shane’s jaw hung open on his words. Emerging from the Farmers.. arm moss?.. emerged a little frog. It opened and closed its mouth a few times before letting out a tiny ‘ribbit’.

“Yeah, I found this little guy a few weeks ago and he just didn’t want to leave. He likes to come with me on our nightly mushroom hunts.” Franklin went cross eyed as he focus on a little bug flittering past before catching it with a satisfying crunch. “Oh, that was a good one, Frankie.”

“Okay I’m gonna go now,” Shane regained control of his jaw, resolutely shoved his hands in his pockets, and started to turn away.

“Wait! You’re not gonna tell anyone my secret are you?”

“Tell them what, that you keep a secret frog hidden somewhere in your arm?”

“No, everyone should know about Franklin, he’s precious. I meant-you know what, can I just show you?” The farmer reached out their hand in an offer for Shane to grab.

He hesitated-he only barely knew the farmer, having really only seen them run past him at full speed with a pick axe held high above their head-but he was in desperate need of a distraction tonight.

The farmer, seeing his reservation, offered up, “come sit down with me, I’ll make us some tea.”

“I don’t drink tea.”

“Well I’ll tell you some of my other secrets?”

He was in too deep now, his curiosity overtaking his tentativeness, “Alright.” He accepted their hand; his fingertips flexed atop their hand, cushioned by the lush, damp covering of green.

Holding his hand, they led him to their crash-landing zone under the tree, where they sat down. As the farmer sat, legs tucked into each other, Shane thought he saw their body hesitate mid-air for half a second. He then was sure that he saw a little fairy ring of mushrooms pop out of the ground with a glimmering puff of orange dust as the farmers body finally made contact with the ground.

“Please, sit.” Shane pretended to not be concerned, but the farmer smiled to themselves as they spotted him cautiously glancing down to the ground as he gingerly lowered himself to sit. Satisfied, the farmer opened up their satchel and pulled out their trinkets for tea-two wooden cups, a shiny silver teapot with a mismatched spoon, and a box of vials and jars. Opening, smelling, taking, and closing the little jars, they began to make the tea. The beautiful earthy colors of the roots, grasses, and leaves peeled out over the edge of the cups. Craning their body, they reached over to the other circle of mushrooms where they crashed, and plucked a purple one.

As they filled the teacups, Shane watched in horror as the they grasped a moth straight out of the air, ripped a wing off, and shredded it into the two cups. He hoped to Yoba the ‘tea’ was done, but they pulled out one final vial. Swallowing, he asked, “Who’s hair is that?”

“Don’t worry about it.” The farmer pick up the teapot, cradling it in their palms. As the silver started to glow red hot, the farmers hair flew up, standing straight when the teapot began to steam. They poured the hot water into the cups.

“Okay, I get it, I know what this is.”

“What is?”

“I just had a few too many today, and I’m actually just super hammered right now and it’s making me see things. I’m gonna go to bed, now”

“But I didn’t see you at the saloon today?”

“Well, no, but if I think about it too much I’m gonna freak out a little bit,” he pushed his hands off to stand, “so I’m just gonna say that this isn’t real and-“

The farmer reached out their hand to him once more. He stood, frozen, as he watched twigs emerge from their fingertips, growing into branches, followed by leaves, and finishing with a delicate flower unfurling inches away from where he stood.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Take it.”

“Take it? But it’s.. attached.”

“Just take it,” the farmer smiled.

He picked it, cupping it in his palms, and brought it to his chest. He watched in awe as the flower petals began to sway, and tiny white fairies sprouted from the pollen. Transfixed, he stood holding his breath as the hazy creatures danced around the petals.

While he watched, eyes big and lit up, the farmer quietly pulled out from their satchel a little carved wooden chair. While Franklin hopped down and plopped onto the chair, the farmer plucked another tiny mushroom, removing the stalk, and tipped a mini-portion of tea from their cup into the cap. They handed it to Franklin who busied himself with dunking his head in and out of the tea and screaming into it.

Shane, remembering his need to breathe, finally gasped and attempted to sputter something intelligible out, but just as he thought of a semi-formed sentence, the dancing fairies suddenly burst into a frenzy of colorful fire. They continued their elaborate dance until the last of them fizzled out, and there was nothing left of the dancing flower except misty smoke and white ash.

“You can keep that-here, pour it into here,” they handed an empty vial to Shane, “sprinkle it on your doorstep and it’ll protect you and your loved ones.”

He did as he was told, not even questioning it at this point-he wanted to know more and how and why and what. Finished, he sat back down, facing the farmer, watching them lift the teacup to their lips. “So uh, does the tree thing happen a lot, or just at night, because I’ve seen you during the day and it doesn’t look like that.”

“No, you’re right, see the thing is, it’s when I- HHREEEEEEEEEK!”

Shane tumbled back in shock, catching himself with his elbows and hands. The farmer had let out an awful screech, showing their (formerly enchanting smile) now fanged row of gnarly teeth. In an instant, their eyes grew and melted into dinner plate-sized puddles of green. Shane yanked his head to match the direction of the farmers leer, where he saw a scruffy-looking opossum attempting to sneak their grubby hands around Franklin. The caught-and foiled-thief returned the farmers screech with a feral ‘hiss’ of its own, before it clambered back into dark bushes.

As quickly as the transformation happened, the farmer returned to normal just the same, meeting Shane’s stunned eyes with their own-now regular sized-smiling eyes. “Can’t be letting Franklin become someone’s snack, now can we?” They laughed and smiled to themselves, giving Franklin a little finger pat.

He was stunned, again. He blinked his way around the farmers face and body, searching for something that would make sense of his feelings. Was it repulsion? Fascination? Perhaps even a little attraction? The farmers little twinkling laugh would normally be very charming to him, but the circumstances of it were overwhelmingly frightening… if not still partially alluring. He settled his searching to focus on their smile-they offered it up so freely to him.

The farmer had waited for him to get settled back into a relaxed position before they continued, “Now what was it you were asking me, dear?”

“I was asking about your arms, that they normally aren’t literal trees,” he stoped, “dear?”

“Well, yeah. We’re friends now, aren’t we? Would you prefer me to call you something else?”

“… no, that’s fine.”

They sat together for a few moments in silence while the farmer drank their tea, and Shane gathered the courage to at least sip the leafy moth water. (It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. He swished his tongue around his mouth to feel for any fuzzy winged remains, but couldn’t find any. It was smooth, and still hot. While he pondered, Franklin made a few flighty hops over to where his foot was resting, and jumped up onto his sneaker-he was trying to bite the laced up shoestrings.

He let out a little laugh-what a strange little animal. He looked up at the farmer and thought ‘what a strange little.. goblin.’ He let himself stare a bit-they didn’t seem to mind. They had taken off their hat by now, and revealed a pair of little pronged antlers that were hidden underneath. They were encrusted with clusters of crystals, which glittered with every turn and tilt of the farmers head. He continued to drink his tea, getting more accustomed to it with each sip, and watched the scattered moonlight refract off the crystals onto the ground. There, where the prismatic light met earth, a misting of teeny white flowers sprouted and bloomed. Shane had always been appreciative of the wonders of nature, but he had never seen it this beautiful. The farmer seemed connected to the earth, each breathing life into the other. It was humbling. And it-they-were beautiful.

The farmer finally caught his eye, and looked down, now a bit embarrassed. They didn’t mind the scrutiny-it wasn’t out of judgement, they knew, just curiosity. Truth be told, the feeling was more of self consciousness than anything. It was always daunting to show anyone their true selves, but to Shane? His gaze was so honest and searching that it was intimidating. Still feeling his eyes on them, the farmer briefly looked up through their lashes to give him a shy smile, and then turned their attention to the lake.

Shane broke the silence, “Any other goblins in their you wanna tell me about,” he motioned to the lake.

“Nah, that lake is occupied already.”

“Ah, I was just playing. Of course, it’s occupied with fish.”

The farmer was silent

He turned to them, only slightly panicky, “With fish right?”

“Mmhmm yeah fish, lots of fish.” They pursed their lips tight and took a nervous sip of their already empty tea.

Shane squinted to the water, studying it, and caught a glimpse of some bubbles rupturing on the distant surface. He scooted closer to the farmer.

With the shoulders pressed up against each other, the farmer reassured him, “Don’t worry, I got you,” and took hold of his hand.

Shane eased his body deeper against their shoulder with a sigh. He took a peek at the farmer’s face just in time to see an attractive blush warm their cheeks. He smiled, and rubbed his thumb over the tops of their knuckles. They sat together, watching the lake, while the moon rose higher in the sky.

“Did you call me a goblin?” The farmer broke the trance.

Shane let out a hearty laugh, “What other kind of magical creature sneaks around in the dark and scares neighborhood children?”

The farmer returned the laugh, and finger gunned once more, “you know what, you got me there again, Shane.” The pair filled the foggy air with the sound of their laughter, pushing their bodies still even closer together.

“If you don’t want your cover blown, you should probably stop doing that, you know, screeching at teenagers.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” the farmer said with a small growl and a wink.

It was Shane’s turn to blush, now. He looked down at their hands, still cupped together, and smiled. “What other magic secrets do you have?”

“ ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* Let me show you.*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ “

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter fourteen

prev. chapter | next chapter

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 2075

For the days to come, Levi remained calm and cold. It was difficult to hide your protests and questions behind your tongue, but when he arrived one night with one teacup instead of two, you grew exhausted of fighting. In fact, the two of you rarely shared anything more than smalltalk, which was the most disheartening product of the newfound awkwardness between you and Levi. Really, disheartening was the least of emotions you could assign to this new mode of interaction -- it was miserable.

It was nearly impossible to accept that the relationship may never return to its previous tranquility; however, this was the hard truth. As your leg grew closer to normal than injured, it was undeniable that you would soon be returning to life among your peers -- the dining hall, training exercises, expeditions outside the walls. Though daunting, it was the inevitable -- likely coming as early as this morning, as terrifying, exciting, anxious and wonderful as that may sound. Although one part of you was as excited as ever to get back in the field with your comrades, the simple comfort you achieved within the walls of the infirmary had become your personal normal. You shuttered at the thought of sharing a room with fifty other girls, without room for moonlight visitors and warm, comforting company. Without room for Jean.

Without room for Levi.

Your mind, though wandering, seemed as if it always led in a meandering circle back to him. It was a stark change in thought -- a chat in the Captain's office was once your definition of a nightmare. Now you wished for just one more shared grin over a lukewarm teapot. It was almost embarrassing.

Maybe, you considered often, his feelings did not change as yours did. Perhaps you did look too far into it. In fact, he likely still saw you as the same nuisance he did a month ago, and nothing you ever saw in him and his softened grey eyes was any more than a delusion. You were another young girl with wild feelings for her superior. He was used to that. Then you remembered his hand on yours, how he poured your tea, how he drew circles along your body as you "slept," and remembered again that it was impossible to imagine how he cared for you. The key word, of course, was the past-tense "cared."

At times, your restless mind brought forward the offhanded thought that Eren did care for you. You would remember how you cast him aside without a chance, and then only a week later were you pining after Levi like a schoolgirl with a crush. Maybe that was proof that you didn't deserve that kind of relationship; maybe you were stupid to shoo Eren away like a dog that got a bit too playful. But, however fortunate or unfortunate it may be, the past is unchanging. Not that that made the present any less of a confusing, painful mess. Sometimes it felt like it made it even worse.

---

The smell of the dining hall rushed over you before realization settled. You walked next to Jean -- not holding onto him, or using him to support you every few steps, actually walking. It felt nice. Though you made friendly and funny conversation, you knew he could sense your clear apprehension. Before you entered, he squeezed your shoulder in one hand and shot you a comforting grin.

You noticed a few eyes trailing over at you as you walked to pick up your tray; it didn't bother you. You expected some of those outside your circle to wonder about how you had been -- the news of you saving Jean's life would've been talked about at least a few times. What bothered you was that a certain pair of grey eyes never bothered to look away from Erwin, even when you passed straight by where he sat. Was the disinterest real?

You took your tray from the line and peered down at it: soup, bread, and a potato. Same as always. You wondered how Sasha always made it seem so appetizing. Jean led you over to the table you spent two long weeks without -- everyone greeting you with a smile and Sasha with a hug. You sat amongst your friends with an unpreventable grin, their excited "hello"s giving you the bit of joy you needed to keep going that day. You fielded their questions about your time at the infirmary with boring half-truths, trying your best to avoid the secret you entrusted only with Jean. You began to realize how difficult it was to separate your time in the infirmary from talks of your time spent with Levi.

Every so often, you found your eyes trailing over to where he sat, your line of sight grazing his raven-colored hair. You remembered how messy it was that morning after he spent the night. It brought the beginnings of a frown to your face. Against your better judgement, you allowed yourself to ponder on why he hadn't so much as glanced in your direction; was he not concerned for you as everyone else was? You had even met eyes once with Mike and Reiner, and yet Levi was not the slightest bit curious about you?

It pulled your spirits down rather quickly, the joy brought on by your friends dwindling down each time you allowed yourself to gaze at the puzzling and infuriating man across the room. Jean followed your eyes once or twice, seeing your face fall a bit lower each time. He tossed his arm around you, pulling you close; he tried to make it as casual as possible, while still giving you as much comfort as he could.

You leaned into him and closed your eyes, trying your hardest to rid Levi from even the furthest parts of your mind. This was a happy day -- you shouldn't let your infatuation with him ruin that. Jean rubbed your shoulder with his thumb inconspicuously, as if to tell you everything would be alright.

Unbeknownst to you, he saw Levi's head turn to gaze at you for a few seconds -- not an offhanded or accidental glance. The look in his eyes could most closely be described as wistful. When his eyes met Jean's, he looked away briskly, returning to his conversation with Erwin as if he had never even noticed you.

---

Sparring with Christa was nowhere near challenging, but you understood why you were paired with her. Your superiors still worried about your injury and likely would in the coming weeks; still, you had hoped for at least a little bit of a challenge. Hange was leading the activity, scanning across the scouts to make corrections or shout words of encouragement. To your dismay, however, Levi hung idly by, eyes focusing dead on one soldier at a time, presumably determining each individual weakness and scolding them in the confines of his mind.

You had begun to goof off, laughing at a joke Christa told and hardly trying to land any hits. If anything, it was entertaining. You worried you would grow tired too quickly during training, anyway; maybe easing into it was best.

You dodged another weak punch, laughing as her eyes grew jokingly narrower. It seemed as if no one else around was having as much fun as you were -- focused in on their partner and trying their hardest to look like they were the best. You watched Mikasa's unwavering stare at Sasha, who evaded her as best she could. Then you turned your eyes to Jean and Eren, their hits getting a bit too real and anger replacing focus. It made you laugh again.

You and Christa elected to take a small break, sipping from your canteens and chatting about your walking lessons with Hange. You froze mid-smile as you heard a certain voice call out your name from several yards away -- Levi.

You stood, screwing the lid back onto your water and laying it down on the ground. "Yes?" you replied, your eyes meeting his for the first time in days. They didn't look happy.

He approached you with a glare until he stood only a foot from you, his voice lowering with the distance. "What are you doing?" he asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

"Um --" you started, unsure of exactly what he was asking, "I'm taking a break?"

"I've seen much more talking than training. You don't seem tired in the slightest. Why are you taking a break?" he demanded, his arms folding over his chest.

His words puzzled you -- why does he care if you take a break? You were recently injured. None of your other superiors would object to a bit of rest on your first day back. Nonetheless, the fire of his anger had never once failed to light the match within you. "Who are you to tell me if I'm tired? Fuck, Levi, I just got out of the infirmary. Give me a break."

He shook his head, exhaling loudly to make his annoyance clear. "Captain. We should test it to see what you look like when you're actually tired enough for a break. Do you think ten laps would do it?"

"You can't be serious. That's bullshit and you know it," you grumbled, hands balling into fists at your side.

"What's bullshit is the way you're treating this training exercise as a game. Ten laps. Now."

Maybe things really were returning to normal. It almost made you want to laugh.

---

As you laid in your bed that night -- finally your bed -- you replayed the events of the day like a movie. The girls inhabiting the beds around you were long asleep, the moon peering through the window and reminding you that you would be awake and staring up at it for hours to come.

It was your first night without him. Even when your relationship had crumbled into nothing, he still came to sit at your side. And you still found an easy journey to your dreams each and every night. Of course, you knew there would be a time when he wasn't there and the nights grew long yet again -- you just didn't expect these negative emotions overtaking your mind to assist in depriving you of much-needed sleep.

Your anger with Levi had yet to subside, your legs aching from all the running he had you do. You considered for a moment marching over to his suite and giving him a piece of your mind; you thought of reminding him of the moments the two of you had shared just so he had to make the contrast in how he was acting now. You wanted to yell at him, and you wanted him to yell back, and you wanted to be angry. You didn't understand why he had all the freedom in the world to be a dick to you and all you could do was stand there and take it.

Maybe when you were done yelling at each other, you could curl up in his bed and get a good night's rest. You could kill two birds with one stone and avoid the seven or eight nightmares that were guaranteed to keep you awake and alert until morning. What a rock and a hard place situation -- for the man that made you more angry than you had ever been to simultaneously be your only solace from insomnia. It infuriated you even further.

As you had already done three times before, you decided against it. Arguing with him wasn't worth it. Again, the past was unchanging. Your anger was quickly replaced with the sadness the night frequently brought along, your thoughts traveling yet again to your feelings for Levi and your longing for him to share them.

You were wary, at best, for the long night ahead of you; you were sick and tired of long nights. Part of you hoped to break your right leg tomorrow, so you could have a little bit more time to solve it all and get some sleep while you were at it. You were even warier for the weeks to come, knowing that you would be forced to come to terms with the situation as it was.

Levi, Levi, Levi. If everything else was going back to how it was before, why couldn't you take your mind off of him?

[imnotusedtobeingloved]

DESTINY IS A FUNNY THING

Warnings: Blood/Gore. Wounds.

Pairing: Zuko x firebender!fem!Reader

Characters: Zuko, Uncle Iroh, Jet, Avatar Aang (mentioned)

Requested: No.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the gif. Credit to the owners.

Summary: You’re trying to find some food for the Team, when you encounter a furious Freedom Fighter.

It was a quiet evening as you strolled through the streets of Ba Sing Se.

You'd joined Team Avatar only a few weeks ago, doing your best to integrate yourself into their group. Which, other than helping the Avatar, also meant cooking, cleaning and finding food. You were tasked with the latter. The gaang hadn't been able to visit the market earlier, due to searching for someone who could produce posters, hoping to get any tips on the whereabouts of Appa. So now, with the money Toph had collected on her hunts, you were searching for something to fill your stomachs. You hadn't eaten all day.

Most shops were already closed by this time The only house that still had the lights on in this part of town, seemed to be a small restaurant. You tried to read the menu that was hung up next to the entrance, but the paper was so crinkled and the letters so washed out that you couldn't quite decipher what it said. You sighed. Some light would be really useful right now. There was only one solution.

You looked around warily, checking the streets five times, before you produced a tiny flame in your palm, reading over every offer as quick as possible. The fire disappeared when you were through. Unsure you counted the money in your pocket, biting your bottom lip. The prices were pretty high. Almost too high. You'd have nearly nothing left if you purchased your food here. You mulled over it for a few minutes, not realizing that someone had stepped up behind you.

"What do we have here?" You jumped, turning around quickly and coming face to face with a broad chest. Looking up, black eyes stared back at you. The boys face was narrow, framed by a mop of brown hair, and a blade of wheat grass hanged out of his mouth. "What do you want from me?" You asked, stepping back, until your back was pressed into the wall behind you. "You're one of them," he said, wielding a hooked sword in both of his hands. "You're one of those fire benders!" He lashed out, the hook grazing your skin as you tried to roll out of their range. "Ugh!" You groaned at the sight of a nasty slash in your shoulder. Yes, you were from the Fire Nation, and yes, you were able to bend fire, but you had never experienced that much training in combat. You knew how to defend yourself properly, yet you didn't succumb to the illusion that you were an exceptionally good fighter. You really just tried not to get your face cut off. And to your despair, this young man seemed to be especially good at what he was doing.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" You said, trying to talk your way out of it. He chuckled. "Nice try. But I saw you use your powers," he answered with a growl, hunting you mercilessly. So you did the only thing you could to survive. Run. You had no weapons, but yourself. And you couldn't use your fire once again. Your heart pumped wildly in your chest as your lungs started to burn. He didn't slow down even when you made it to a more crowded part of town, pushing people out of his way to get to you, and screaming at them to hold you off. You tried to get as many obstacles as possible between you and him. But his legs were longer than yours, making it easy to catch up with you. A small tea shop ahead of you caught your eye, seeming lively inside.

You'd almost reached the door.

Almost made it.

Then you felt the tips of two sharp hooks slash trough your back, ripping the skin. A toe curling scream left your mouth. Dizzy, you stumbled out of reach again as best as you could. All eyes were on you, when you tumbled trough the door of the shop. "I'm sorry," you mumbled, dots clouding your sight. "I didn't know where else to go," Your knees gave out, blood slowly trickling out of your wounds. "They're fire benders!" Was the last thing that distantly reached your ears, together with the picture of an old man, leaning over you with a worried expression on his face. Then you were gone.

The next time you came anywhere near to conciousness again, you felt sick. You were lying on your stomach. Soft blankets and pillows were tucked under your body. And when you tried to move, you registered the texture of bandages on your shoulder and back. "Careful now," a soothing voice scolded softly. "Wouldn't want those wounds to open up again," A groan left your mouth when you finally managed to open your eyes. Once again, the face of an old man greeted you. The same old man. "Who are you?" you mumbled. "And where am I?" The man smiled, his friendly eyes glimmering in the sunlight. "My name is Mushi," he placed a small cup of tea next to you. "You're in our home. We brought you here after you collapsed in the tea shop, remember?" You nodded. Right. You remembered bits and pieces briefly, but you couldn't piece them all together. And then he came to mind. "Wha- what's with that guy, who-" "Don't worry about it," Mushi interrupted. "My nephew, Lee, took care of him. He's behind bars for now," You hummed, settling down a bit. It didn't take long before the others popped up in your mind.

You wondered if they were worried. If they cared. But you had to get back to them either way. "I have to get back to my..." you searched for the right word. "Family. I bet they're worried because I didn't come back last night," Mushi nodded, running a hand through his beard. "I understand," he stood up from your bedside, preparing another teapot as you sipped on your cup. It had just the right temperature and the rich jasmine flavor invaded your mouth. You smiled. "My favorite...," It was true. It really was your favorite. It reminded you of your home. Of quiet mornings spend with your grown ups, laughing at each others jokes. But those days were over. The war had claimed it all.

Mushi's light chuckle disturbed your thoughts. "It's my nephew's favorite as well," You hummed, staring down at the cup. “You know, you never told me your name,” He said, looking at you over his shoulder. “It’s (Y/N),” you stated, taking another sip and moving to sit up. “Thank you for taking care of me, Mushi. But i need to leave no- aargh!” You groaned loudly falling back onto your stomach. “Careful!” The door to your right opened. “What’s going on here?” A young man entered the room. He wore the simple clothes of a commoner, an apron loosely hanging from his arm. This must be Lee, you thought trying to stay still as the pain subsided. When you looked up at him, the first thing you were greeted by was the large burn around his eye, like flames woven into his skin. You flinched under his gaze. You couldn’t help but wonder if the scar had been from an encounter with a fire bender. Your Nation truly left it’s marks everywhere. “She’s still to weak to get up,” Mushi answered him, walking over to you. “I’m afraid you’ll have to stay here a little longer,” You sighed. This was a disaster.

You had to admit, this was definetely not how you had imagined your life to go, after joining the Avatar. You weren’t even around him for the next two weeks. The slash on your shoulder healed just fine and it didn’t bother you as much. Though your back was an entirely different story. You had to heavily rely on Mushi and Lee when it came to the wound. Bandaging or applying lotion to it was impossible without having someone to help. In the beginning Mushi was the one who primarily cared for you. Lee, on the other hand, didn’t bother to come near you. And why would he? You were just some strange girl that tumbled into a tea shop, covered in blood. The few times he did come in to get himself some tea, were spend in uncomfortable silence. At least on your behalf. Maybe he didn’t even care. Days went by without him even glancing at you, but one time he did. He directly stared at you to be more specific. “So, was he right?” he said, leaning against the counter behind him. “What?” you blurted out, confused that he bothered to speak with you. “The boy. Was he right? Are you a fire bender?” You swallowed heavily, lowering your gaze to his chest. “Don’t be ridiculous,” the lie didn’t leave your lips as smoothly as you hoped it would. “Of course not,” He narrowed his eyes. They're fire benders!, you faintly remembered the boy’s scream before you passed out. “What about you?” you retorted in the same demeanor. “Are you a fire bender?” Lee scoffed, reaching for two cups and filling them to the brim. “Of course not,” he imitated you, before handing you one of them. “Thank you,” you grinned, getting less tense around him. It earned you a short nod. That was the first time you two shared a real interaction.

The second time was more out of nessisity. Mushi was out at work for days, often taking no breaks, too caught up in his newest business. The Jasmine Dragon. Which left you at Lee’s mercy in the bandaging department. Luckily you were fit enough to sit up by now, crossing your legs, almost pain-free. Where silence was first unpleasant, it now had become a peaceful ritual for the both of you. Lee applied the lotion to your back, before you both worked to secure the bandage. You weren’t sure if he would talk to you, but you had a question burning in the back of your throat. “Lee?” He was clearly concentrated on the bandage, but you got some kind of acknowledgement. “Hm?” You nibbled on your bottom lip, unsure of how to phrase the words. “Have you ever felt... alone?” You’d joined Team Avatar, and yet you never felt more alone than before. “Like... not lonely but just-” “Yes,” he interfered and a few moments of silence passed. “I have. Sometimes i still do,” You played with your fingers in your lap, feeling him making a knot into the material to keep it together. “You know, i thought things would change,” you confessed. “I thought i’d found the right place. The right people. But now i realize that maybe i was wrong. Maybe it was all just a big mistake and i made the wrong choice once again,” you trailed off. “Does that make sense?” The question must’ve been written all over your face when you turned around. To your surprise he didn’t show the indifferent expression he wore around you all day. Now there was something more. Something softer. Sweeter. “It does, believe me. I know that feeling better than anyone,” His amber eyes seemed far away, lost somewhere between memories and dreams. Despite the nasty scar on his face, he was striking in his own way. Maybe particularily because of this scar. It showed his true spirit. Perhaps he was more of a fighter than he led on.

Over the following days, your healing made a promising progress. And so did your relationship with Lee. You’d never thought you’d feel affection for the boy, but here you were, sitting next to each other and sharing a platter of food. He hid an amazing sense of humor behind his shell and a gentle heart was buried under his armour. Another thing that had caught your attention was that Mushi seemed to leave for urgend business at the strangest of times, continuously leaving you by yourselves. But you choose not to think to much about it.

“You’ll get a stomach ache if you continue stuffing your mouth like that,” Right. What was it you found attractive about him again? “Shut up,” you laughed, pointing to his side of the plate. He had gobbled that dish up just as much as you did. ‘Guilty’ was written all over his forehead.

You focused your attention on the food, but looked back up when he was staring at you. You were surprised that he didn’t have a comeback. That was rare.

“Is everything okay? I’m sorry if that was-”

“Can i kiss you?” your eyes widened. “What?” your mouth was, once again, faster than your brain. Unfazed, Lee leaned in, waiting for you to do the same. Your lips met in the middle. Gently. Only brushing each other slightly, like a summer-breeze. He tasted bittersweet.

A few seconds passed until he placed his hands on your cheeks, carefully guiding the movements. He felt warm and safe. Like the pleasure of a close flame in the bitter cold. After a while, you reluctantly pulled apart, needing a few seconds to open your eyes. And when you did, you were filled with joy. Joy and regret. Your smile died on your lips as you remembered who you really where. “What’s wrong?” he said, pulling you into his side.

“I have to tell you something,” you started, furrowing your brows. You had to. Even at the risk that he would hate you afterwards. In time he had confided in you with some of his past, making you aware about his mark. He’d gotten it from a fire bender, just like you’d suspected. And it made you feel like a horrible person. So you took a deep breath. “I lied to you, Lee. I am a fire bender. I fled the Fire Nation because i wanted to start a new life,” You searched his face for a reaction, but it was empty. Just like it had been in the beginning. You held your breath when he finally opened his mouth to say something.

“I guess... i should tell you that i’m-” His Uncle burst into the room. “I have amazing news, everyone!” he exclaimed, a big smile gracing his face. “ We’ve been invited to serve tea to the Earth King!” Lee and you pulled apart, the atmosphere tense, but you both put on a grin for Mushi. “That’s amazing news, Uncle,”

And it was. You accompanied them the next day, knowing it would probably be the last you’d spend together. Your wounds were healed enough to walk again and didn’t affect your movements anymore. Which meant you would leave to go back to your family. Or... more like your companions. But honestly, you didn’t even know if you could call them that. You hadn’t been part of their group for long before you disappeared and you hadn’t heard from each other since.

Not to mention that, deep in your heart you knew, you didn’t really want to leave. The burden hung heavy over your head, but you choose to make this last day worth it. And if it was just to see a smile on Mushi’s face. “Many times i imagined myself here. At the threshold of the palace,” the man stated, as you climbed out of your carriage. “We are the Earth King’s personal guests, here to serve him tea. Destiny is a funny thing,” he rambled on, but you and Lee gladly listened. “It sure is, Uncle,” The atmosphere between the two of you remained awkward after you’d revealed your secret, but he didn’t seem to be averse. He still talked to you. The problem was that he wanted to talk about anything but your confession. Any time you came close to bringing it up, he bailed. And you wanted to know why.

It took a while until you reached the room where the Earth King would welcome you. Or rather, welcome them. You choose to stay outside. “Don’t be ridiculous, (Y/N),” Mushi had said. “Of course you’re coming with us,” But you had declined with a shake of your head. “It’s your tea shop. You and Lee did all the work. You deserve to share this moment together,” He seemed to want to argue against your choice, but eventually he accepted it. “Very well,” You watched as he disappeared into the room, behind his nephew.

The guards led you through the empty halls, supposed to bring you to a waiting room. But you’d never reach it. You grunted, as you got hid on the back of your head, the impact sending you to the ground, as your vision blurred... and faded.

thanks for reading! find part 2 here!

[dangerdangerhighvoltage]

Night Off (MC x Kojuro x Tsunamoto)

MC and Kojuro are trying to navigate their relationship after finally hooking up, only for Tsunamoto to crash the party with his chaotic ass. it's double daddy duty featuring one of supporting cast's finest. nsfw!

You never were one to concentrate on one thing at a time. 

As you scooped porridge into a bowl, you mentally listed all the letters that were awaiting a response from Kojuro. You carefully laid the soft doughy orb of mochi on top of the porridge while noting you needed to track down that retainer to get his report on how the crops were faring this season. As you attempted to remember the name of some Western book Lord Masamune had requested, the boiling water you meant to pour into the teapot had instead landed on your hand. 

“Ahh!” you hissed. Chastised by your own folly, you finally focused on the task at hand, assembling the tray for Kojuro’s afternoon tea break including an extra tea cup for yourself. It had been a few weeks since the incident, and you were relieved that things were starting to feel normal again, if not a little awkward.

The month before last, the clan embarked on a particularly brutal campaign. Upon their return, an abnormally shaken Kojuro promptly made love to you, after a year of working closely late into the night, nursing each others’ hangovers, confiding in each other different ways to help Lord Masamune not be so hard on himself. Kojuro fucked you on his desk on the heaps and heaps of his letters and notes and then again in his bedding, drawing from you something he had left on the battlefield. You were genuinely surprised Kojuro had made good on the attraction between you, but the next day, you could have sworn you overheard Shigezane distributing to a handful of retainers what sounded like payouts for a bet. 

You and Kojuro decided that while you both enjoyed yourselves that night and were clearly well suited, it was not the best time to pursue something real, not with the Ashina acting up as they were. The others teased Kojuro endlessly about making an honest woman out of you, and for some reason, a part of you believed he actually wanted to. But the thing about Kojuro was he would never be forced to make a decision about you so long as he had that endless pile of work on his desk to hide behind. 

It’s not as if you wanted to be an honest woman anyway.

And so it was as though you started your relationship from scratch, relearning boundaries and reacquainting yourself with some professional distance. The only acknowledgment of your intimacy—other than the fact that he ceased referring to you as his “precious girl”—was the fact that you had started to join him for his afternoon tea every day. And that’s exactly what you were looking forward to doing when you walked back into his office, tray in hand, only to find a brawny, effortlessly disheveled, scar-faced sight sitting in your spot.

“Look what the winds blew in,” Kojuro said to you mischievously.

“Lord Tsunamoto!” you exclaimed, shocked to see the handsome man before you. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” 

Whereas Kojuro was seated rather formally at his desk, Tsunamoto sat back outstretched, his chest peeking through his signature, generously loose robe. You’d always been a bit nervous around the man, his lingering eye contact, and general aversion to modesty. You dismissed him as not your type more as a form of self protection, like a chest of gunpowder dodging a spark. Despite being polar opposites, he and Kojuro were thick as thieves when reunited, Kojuro bringing a calm patience out in Tsunamoto, and Tsunamoto reviving a roguish edge in Kojuro. 

“Surprised to see me?” Tsunamoto declared more than asked. Why did everything about him seem flirtatious?

“Did you send a letter?” you asked, knowing he hadn’t. “I’d have planned a feast if I knew you were visiting!” 

“No need for the fanfare. I’m just passing through for a few days.” 

"Too late, I already have a menu in mind,” you said, picking up the teapot. Tsunamoto’s eye locked on the second cup as you poured the tea. Your face heated up as you watched him realize the second cup wasn’t meant for him, that maybe he was interrupting something. You wondered if from just one mundane piece of ceramic, he deduced everything about your and Kojuro’s past. Tsunamoto cocked his head, and directed an inquisitive smile toward Kojuro who was suddenly couldn’t seem to drink his tea fast enough.

"I suppose there’s no point in trying to stop you,” Tsunamoto relented, graciously accepting the cup you offered.

“Believe me, I’ve tried,” Kojuro quipped.

“Uh huh.” Tsunamoto noted. His gaze flickered to you.

“Let me bring you some oshiruko,” you said with a firm smile and a desperate need to catch your breath. 

“No need,” Kojuro waved away. “Bring him his favorite dessert.”

You cocked your head at him in confusion. The two men looked at each other in a way that made your cheek tingle. 

“Sake,” Kojuro said slyly.

The next morning, you arrived at training, where Tsunamoto had stepped in to lead. After sparring one-on-one with every retainer, he finally approached you. 

“Solid form,” he offered as your wooden swords cracked against one another. You had been on the defense the whole time, allowing him to gain ground or at least think he was. Luckily for you, his strength made him slower, and as his body twisted to strike at you, you quickly maneuvered under his swing, striking him in his side in a full low lunge. He let out a laugh as you smiled shyly to yourself. 

“I’ve taught her well, huh?” Kojuro called out from afar, who had apparently stopped by to observe training.

“Technique was always your strength,” Tsunamoto called back to him. 

You resumed sparring, Tsunamoto hitting a bit stronger and moving much faster than before. With every step you took, he met you there, almost predicting your movements. The confidence you gained now sputtered out as you barely dodged his attacks. Running out of ideas, you tried a new gambit Kojuro taught you but as you spun around, you felt yourself caught in a vise-grip, your back to Tsunamoto’s chest as if he was simply waiting for you to fall into his trap. His arms easily restraining yours, he brought his lips to your ear and lowered his voice, looking directly at Kojuro who was watching the two of you intently.

“See, I know a few of Kojuro’s weaknesses as well,” he said, sending a shiver down your spine.  

“Besides, who do you think taught him?” He let you go and jogged back over to the rest of the retainers as if nothing happened. Straightening out your hakama, you looked over at Kojuro who hadn’t taken his eyes off you.

After a full day of cooking and preparing, you tried to make yourself scarce during that night’s feast. You spent the evening running back and forth between the kitchen and main hall, hauling food and empty dishes until someone, you weren’t sure who, grabbed your hand and pulled you down to sit between Kojuro and Tsunamoto. Despite your initial protests, the two of them finally convinced you to stay and enjoy your own handiwork. You relented, and jovially ate, drank, and chatted with the rest of them, until you remembered something.

“Hells, I never spoke to Shiroishi about the crops today,” you confessed with a grimace. 

“Yeah, I'm not sure Shiroishi is in any state to discuss much of anything,” Tsunamoto said. Across the room, the retainer in question was somewhere between laughing drunk and falling asleep drunk.

“What kind of master am I?” Kojuro bemoaned. “My own page sitting here thinking about work when she should be enjoying herself?”

“She learned from the best,” Tsunamoto joked under his breath. 

“Milord,” you started, “You’re a good ma—”

He turned to you, his face serious. “I want you to forget about all your work. Take the night off and just have a good time, okay?” Since you and Kojuro slept together, “good time” had become something of a loaded term. 

“But Milord,” you teased. “Who will keep your desk clear?” 

“I can keep my own desk clear for one night, thank you very much!” 

“You didn’t even clear it when we—” 

You cut yourself off abruptly and bowed your head in embarrassment, suddenly realizing how much you had drank. Tsunamoto let out a satisfied laugh, and you thought Kojuro would strike you down then and there for your slip up. But he merely smirked at you, amused. It’s not like anyone else had heard outside you three—by now all the retainers were completely intoxicated and Lord Masamune had excused himself long ago.

“You didn’t seem to mind at the time, precious girl,” Kojuro fired back with a small, unbearably winning smile. You were at once delighted and flustered by Kojuro’s familiarity and Tsunamoto's presence. You didn’t know what to make of him playing witness to this charged tête-à-tête. 

Sensing the tension, Tsunamoto spoke up. "That’s our Kojuro, always with the last word.” 

“You see what I have to work with every day?” you fussed, turning to him with a big smile.

"You poor thing,” Tsunamoto said, playing along and touching your cheek. You were surprised by the gesture, but played it off well. You happily sipped your sake, oblivious to the glance Kojuro and Tsunamoto shared, an entire unspoken conversation transpiring above your head.

It was late into the night when the last of the retainers drunkenly shuffled off to their quarters for the night, and Kojuro asked you to bring a jug of sake to his office. When you arrived you were astonished to find the two of them seated across Kojuro’s desk boisterously engaged in a heated match of arm wrestling of all things. Only Tsunamoto could convince Kojuro to engage in such nonsensical activities.

“So these are the brilliant, visionary advisors of the Date clan,” you huffed as they cheerfully welcomed you. You sat down at the edge of the desk and looked back and forth between them before pouring the sake. With great effort, Kojuro finally pressed Tsunamoto’s knuckles into the wood. 

“Damn,” Tsunamoto grumbled. They downed the sake and immediately put their elbows back on the table, ready for another bout. You poured more sake and sipped on your own. "Alright, this is the tiebreaker,” Tsunamoto said, flexing his fingers.

“And what is the prize?” you asked. 

“A kiss from the beautiful page,” Tsunamoto cracked. 

“And smart,” you added.

“Right, a kiss from the beautiful and smart page,” Tsunamoto beamed.

Kojuro looked up at you, concerned. “[Y/n], you don’t have to—”

“Okay,” you said simply. Kojuro was dumbfounded.

“What?” 

“I said okay. I will kiss whoever wins this stupid competition,” you said with a shrug. Did those words just come out of your mouth? The two men looked at each other again, and again you felt that tingle in your cheek.

“You heard her, Kojuro,” Tsunamoto said.

“I suppose I did.”

The two readied themselves on Kojuro’s desk, grasped hands and began, but this round was different. For the first time since Lord Tsunamoto arrived, the two men went silent as they strained to defeat the other. 

“Kojuro, finally putting up a fight. Desperate for a kiss, old man?” Tsunamoto jeered.

"Put as much effort into training as you do into talking shit and you’d have unified Japan yourself by now,” Kojuro taunted back.

Unable to fathom the scene playing out in front of you, you simply took another shot of sake. It was a total deadlock for minutes until suddenly with a loud crack, both men were sent to the floor. Apparently Kojuro’s poor desk gave out from the pressure of the match or perhaps it had simply lost the will to live after years of neglect and misuse. The three of you devolved into a fit of laughter as you pieced together what had occurred.

“A draw!” Kojuro howled. 

“We both lost? How pathetic!” Tsunamoto asked, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye and trying not to laugh again, though you sensed he was relieved at the outcome. The two men sat up on either side of the broken desk, looking down in amused pity.

“Or maybe,” you said timidly. “You both won.” 

You couldn’t believe what you had just said. What you had just implied. The two men froze and looked at you, waiting for the catch, for you to burst into laughter and exclaim, “Gotcha!” and tease them endlessly for thinking twice. But you didn’t. 

“[Y/n]?” Kojuro asked softly with a nervous smile. 

With the latest shot of sake taking effect, you leaned over to him and gave him a firm kiss. His body froze before you, and you instantly cursed yourself for being so stupid and so forward. What were you thinking? You expected him to pull back, graciously reiterate the need for professionalism, and dismiss you for the night, but to your surprise, he dug his fingers in your hair and deepened the kiss. His tongue grazed your lips hungrily and bit your lip the same way he did when you first kissed just weeks ago, and you felt the same rush of sensual relief.

The two of you parted with a small, uncertain smile. You took a breath and looked deep into the torrent of Kojuro’s eyes.

“I’m going to kiss him now,” you said. “Is that alright, Milord?”

“Of course,” Kojuro said with a genuine smile. “He earned it just as much as I did.”

Kojuro watched as you leaned over to Tsunamoto. For perhaps the first time ever, Tsunamoto looked thrown off, almost nervous, which exhilarated you. You lips brushed over his. He looked over at Kojuro questioningly, and Kojuro nodded encouragingly. Satisfied with this, Tsunamoto closed his eyes and drew you closer, hungrily lapping at and biting your lips. You expected him to be an aggressive kisser compared to Kojuro, but there was also a sweetness about the way he gently swept his tongue against yours. 

Tsunamoto broke the kiss before you were ready. You hadn’t even noticed that Kojuro had moved the broken table aside and moved closer to you. The two men stood up and pulled you up between them. 

“Are you sure you want this?” Kojuro asked. You looked at the dizzyingly handsome men on either side of you. “Want us?” 

“Yes,” you panted as you kissed Kojuro again, grabbing his collar. You felt Kojuro loosen your obi as Tsunamoto stood behind you and began to kiss your neck, his hands loosening your collar. You reached to grasp at both of their hair as Tsunamoto opened up your kimono, exposing your breasts. 

Kojuro leaned back and took the sight in before leaning down and taking your nipple into his mouth. From behind, Tsunamoto took your other breast into his hand and possessively turned your head to kiss you. 

“Nghgh,” you moaned as both the men worked your breasts. Kojuro finally removed your obi and your body was completely exposed. He licked his fingers and placed them between your legs, where he began stroking you. You were already wet, but you had to admit you missed his touch. Tsunamoto slid the kimono completely off your shoulders, his hands trailed down the sides of your body and he grabbed a handful of your ass. 

“Fuck,” Tsunamoto exhaled. “You have this parading around your office all day?” You caught a glimmer of pride in Kojuro’s eyes as you set to work on Kojuro’s obi, freeing him of his robes. You were pleased to find he was already hard. You grasped him, and looked behind you to find Tsunamoto removing his own robe. 

“Come here,” Tsunamoto said as he lowered himself to the floor and lied down. Kojuro guided you to Tsunamoto’s head and gently pushed you down onto your knees until they flanked Tsunamoto’s ears. You could feel the warmth of Tsunamoto’s breath on your slit. Kojuro stood in front of you, his member in hand. You grabbed it and held it to your lips, teasing his tip with your tongue as Tsunamoto ran his fingers in and out of your folds, spreading them. You finally took Kojuro fully into your mouth just as Tsunamoto pulled you down fully onto his lips and eager tongue. You immediately felt a pulse of pleasure shoot from Tsunamoto’s tongue to your extremities, and you let out a loud moan around Kojuro. 

You started to squirm, but Tsunamoto held you in place like a clamp as he lapped you up. There was clearly no escaping your own pleasure—the only thing you could do, really, was take it out on Kojuro. You furiously swirled your tongue around him. Cursing, Kojuro ran his fingers through your hair and pushed further into your mouth, which in turn, made you grind your hips harder on Tsunamoto’s face, who moaned as he sucked on your clit.

“Ride him,” Kojuro growled and you looked up. “I want to see.” He was wearing the same face he was when he watched you at training earlier that day. Feeling your climax start to build up, you began to ride Tsunamoto’s face harder, thrusting your hips back and forth whimpering, his fingers clenched deep in your hips, his tongue unabating. You started to lose focus and could barely hold onto Kojuro, abandoning his pleasure in search of your own. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, captivated, as you grabbed your own breast and unraveled before him on Tsunamoto’s face with a full-throated sigh. 

You got off Tsunamoto and collapsed as he got on his knees. "God I hope she feels as good as she tastes,” Tsunamoto said, licking the corners of his mouth.

“He would know,” you said boldly staring down Kojuro.

“Find out for yourself,” Kojuro said. The two men looked at you and you nodded.

Tsunamoto pulled you to him. He sat back on his heels and guided you into his lap, wrapping your legs around him as his tip teased your opening before pushing himself in. 

“You feel incredible,” Tsunamoto uttered in amazement. He stretched you out gently.

You surveyed the scar that trailed down Tsunamoto’s brow and onto his regal cheek. Your gaze locked on his other eye and as he began thrusting in earnest, it suddenly became so clear why Tsunamoto carried himself with endless confidence. You watched him roll his hips tantalysingly slow and deep into you, hitting all the right spots.

“How does he feel, precious girl?” Kojuro asked. He was stroking himself at the sight of you. 

“He feels so—uuuunnnh!” Your response was interrupted by a particularly deep plunge Tsunamoto took. 

You looked back at Kojuro and reached for him, but he leaned back just out of reach with a mean grin. “You need to learn to focus on the task at hand,” he said lovingly. He watched as Tsunamoto drove into you harder and faster, his strong arms essentially keeping you floating as he slid in and out of you. Kojuro was completely entranced, savoring the way your eyes glazed over as his oldest friend in the world fucked the woman he loved if only he'd let himself, wondering if the most precious things weren’t meant to be shared. 

Tsunamoto slowed down in an attempt to stave off his own climax. Kojuro kneeled behind you, steadying you as Tsunamoto pulled out of you and you got your bearings.

“Are you alright, precious girl?” You nodded, catching your breath. 

“Good. All fours,” Kojuro directed. You did so, swaying your hips in an attempt to further tempt him. Kojuro sidled up behind you and caressed your back, kissing the dimples on your lower back. Your eyes met Tsunamoto’s as Kojuro positioned his cock between your folds and pressed in. You let out a long, lusty moan that bloomed more for every inch he filled you. He hadn’t taken you from behind before, and you wondered how you’d be able to work alongside him anymore after this.

You lost yourself in Kojuro’s languid thrusts and found yourself again, grinding back against him. He whisked you up on your knees, pressing your back against his chest. 

“Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you,” he professed softly into your ear. “That I haven’t dreamed of feeling you like this again.” He wrapped his arm around your torso to keep you in place as he dove in and out of you. Tsunamoto crawled over to you and bent down, pressing his tongue squarely on your clit.

“Ahhnn!” You cried out as he raked his tongue up and down from your clit to your opening where Kojuro was thrusting into you. 

The sensation was too much too soon, so you grabbed Tsunamoto’s hair, pulled him to your face, and gave him a frantic, sloppy kiss as you took his cock and stroked him. You felt Kojuro lean over your shoulder, and you pulled away.

“She taste as good as she feels?” Kojuro asked as Tsunamoto approached. You watched as the two men took each other by the lips. You joined in, the three of you licking, biting, sucking each other as you pumped Tsunamoto to Kojuro’s rhythm.

Tsunamoto stood up in a frenzy and placed his cock on your lips. You knew he was close, and you took him into your mouth. “You are taking us so well,” Tsunamoto said as you devoured him. As Kojuro devoured you. You whined as you felt the electricity build up in your core. 

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded. “I’m so close!” 

Kojuro managed to fuck you even faster and harder. He brought his hand between your legs, his fingers fluttering on your clit as Tsunamoto all but fucked your mouth. Kojuro groaned as you screamed in pleasure around Tsunamoto’s cock. 

“I’m coming,” Tsunamoto rasped as he ejected into your mouth. You did your best to take it all as you reached your own climax. You felt feverish, heat tearing through your body and cracking you open. 

“Come for me my precious girl,” Kojuro snarled in your ear. 

You let out a cry as the pleasure rushed through you, leaving you trembling. You tightened unbearably around Kojuro’s cock, and he finally released into you with a curse.

The three of you collapsed on the floor, sprawled in a heap of pleasure and exhaustion and a giggle or two. 

“If only every trip to Oshu was this fun,” Tsunamoto simpered. You sighed a chuckle in response.

Kojuro reached up for his kiseru. You caressed his back, muscular by training, worn by war. “You know, [y/n],” he panted. “You should take the night off more often.”

You and Tsunamoto shared a knowing look, both helplessly endeared by the precious, precious man. 

[alluringjae]

[ 23:45 ] ⮕ END   

part of my collection of cookie cuts from all i do is wait

in order to understand, read the main story first here.

pairing: ghost!doyoung x female!reader

genre: angst, sum fluff if you really squint

warnings: death, grief

author’s note: someone asked me how i would interpret this scene, so here it is. this hurt A LOT. have fun though!

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Mid-1953

At long last, the Korean War has ended after 3 years.

Over 5 million people dead, and to be one of the lucky survivors was a miracle.

The remaining soldiers who’ve fought through it all could return home, whilst civilians can properly rebuild all that was devastatingly destroyed in their cities. Their own normal lives included.

The fiercest 3 years of your life must you say, too engaged with self-studying your history books saved pre-war while dealing with the bargaining stage of your grief towards Doyoung. Every day, you couldn’t go on without overthinking the what-ifs. On top of that, your toddler Areum was at the stage where she loved creating a mess on the walls with her crayons. No matter how many times you’ve corrected her because it wasn’t your house, she continued anyway.

Now, she’s full-blown crying after you confiscated them and you’re on the verge of it. Thankfully, your mother stepped in to take her out for a walk in the neighborhood so you could unwind for a bit.

Since news broke out that the war ended, everyone from every street cheered and danced on the streets. You hailed with praise along with them, positive that things were going to get better. Yet deep down, you’ve selfishly wished that he was one of the lucky few to come home.

If only you didn’t chicken out so easily after he told you he was enlisting so you had a few more seconds with him.

If only you compromised him to join another field.

If only you told him about Areum earlier so he could go home.

These thoughts revolved your mind the most, instantly getting you to break down wherever you were. Even photos of him and you together were enough to tear down your walls. So, they remained hidden until the day you’re in a much better state of mind.

Dear god, you longed for him. Everything that consists of him.

In hopes to forget this tremendous loss in your life, you poured hot tea in a cup and started on this new book from this ongoing series, The Chronicles of Narnia. Getting it during this harsh period was tough, bartering it with old books you’ve owned in the market.

Fully preoccupied in the fantastical universe, flipping the pages quickly, you almost missed the continuous knocking on your door. You let out a tiny gasp and made your way to the entrance. As delusional to think it was Doyoung, you knew it wasn’t your mother and Areum either because they would’ve simply walked in. Opening it anyways, you were met by two young tall men. One had a bandage on his cheek while the other had a cast on his right arm. Noting their growing hair, they must’ve fought in the war.

Oh, if Doyoung was one of them.

“Hello, may I know who you two are?”

The one with the bandage spoke up, bowing first. “Hello, I am Lee Taeyong and this is my friend, Kim Jungwoo. We were good friends of your late lover, Kim Doyoung.”

Late lover.

Haven’t heard that since people in the neighborhood gossiped about your taboo pregnancy, but it’s not like they knew anyways. But from the letters exchanged with Doyoung before, he talked about these two highly. Whenever there were times of ease while serving, Doyoung was always up to mischievous things with these two. In a situation where they had to man up, they brought out his inner child.

“Oh, yes! Doyoung used to talk about you two in his letters, but I had no clue how you guys looked.”

By instinct, you invited them inside for tea by the patio. You’ve always wanted to meet them despite the circumstances. Bringing in a tray with a teapot and treats, mostly you were inquiring about their lives. Aside from knowing their positions in the team, you learned of their new plans moving forward.

“I want to return to university to finish my studies in mechanical engineering, maybe travel the world too.” Jungwoo stated, blowing on his cup before sipping it. He’s said to be an organized man according to Doyoung, always cautious of his surroundings. It balanced out his liveliness.

“Me too! I want to complete my major in finance, then marry my childhood sweetheart after a few years.” Taeyong expounded, his round eyes glowed in wonder. He must’ve been looking forward to this day, and you were content for him. Meanwhile, it processed to Taeyong what he said, realizing that it may have been insensitive.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” He burst out instantly. “I got stuck in my feelings there.”

“It’s okay, nothing to worry about. You shouldn’t apologize for how you feel.”

“I do think we should feel worried about you though.” Jungwoo interrupted, sighing heavily. “What happened with Doyoung-hyung all those years ago, we’re really concerned for you especially.”

At the mention of the painful memory, this wasn’t the right time to crumble. You weren’t capable to show your vulnerability to anyone but yourself. Plastering a wrenching pretend smile, “I appreciate the concern, truly. But I’ll be okay again. I’m planning to return to university too, then proceed to law school. A shared dream of mine and his.”

Taeyong and Jungwoo transparently viewed you like glass, coping with the grief of it. They were on the same page as you, and unaware to you, they knew his final words. With their interpretation, it only felt right to reach out to you. Befriend you, aid you in any possible way.

At the end of the day, three of you equally shared the suffering over the death of a loved one.

Sitting in peaceful silence, the front door creaked open followed by a tiny, high-pitched voice squealing.

“We’re home!” Your mother shouted.

“I’m at the patio, we have guests over!” You replied, pouring more tea for the two quiet boys.

From such a low-spirited atmosphere only did it liven up when an energetic Areum came into your setting. She had pigtails this time, satisfying herself with fresh bungeo-ppang from the neighborhood. No matter what you’re feeling, it took a single glance of her with her small moon-like eyes to recharge you.

“Mom, who are your friends here?” She pondered cluelessly.

The two boys exchanged looks at each other first, then to you in one breath. Their expressions of perplexity by how one’s hand was on their mouth and the other boy couldn’t stop staring at Areum, you identified exactly what they were thinking of.

“Areum, these are your dad’s friends in the army.” You animatedly confirmed. “The one with that tiny bandage on his face is uncle Taeyong, and the one with the white cast is uncle Jungwoo.”

Doyoung’s death was already so heavy to take in, but upon discovering this hidden surprise, Jungwoo wiped his tears on his sleeve. But you were fast to hand him some tissue. He was younger than you, so your older sister instincts kicked in.

“This is unjust, (Y/N).” He murmured across you so Areum won’t pick up his words. Your lips pressed against each other, maintaining a straight face at him. He was right.

With Taeyong, his arms spread out wide for the small girl who willingly walked to him. He loved children, having a nephew back home. He caressed her smooth hair down to her jaw. The first thing he distinguished was her pretty eyes followed by her squishy cheeks, resembling so much of his late friend.

“You’re so pretty, Areum. Did your mom tell you that you mirror so much of your dad?”

“Yes, she does! But I’ve never met him and I don’t when I will, uncle Taeyong.”

A tragedy how the splitting image of his best friend doesn’t see what everyone sees. But again, she’s only 3 and she can only process so much. She doesn’t know the real truth behind her father’s location, except that he was working far, far away. There are days she’d ask if he’d come back soon, yet your only response is not now. This isn’t the right time for her purity about life to stain.

“Well Areum,” Jungwoo gathered his senses again, crouching down to her level. “As his friends, we know that you look just like him! Prettier even.”

“Really? Tell me more about him, uncle Jungwoo!”

It’s about time someone else shared stories about your late lover because yours was short-lived. It’s even more intriguing to listen to what other people have to say about Doyoung that weren’t his parents. Some stories told by Taeyong and Jungwoo were new to you too, giggling along to their ridiculousness when they’re not training or fighting. Loving their presence, you invited them to stay for dinner with your family, which they couldn’t reject.

What started as a tense conversation transformed into a heartwarming experience. These two boys earned a spot in your life, aspiring for longtime friendships with them. The tender way they cherished for Areum like they’re own after meeting for the first time, it’ll fill in bits of her void. In exchange, they insisted to chip in for you and her lives so it wouldn’t be just you and your family. Struggling already with the consequences of the war, it only felt proper to do so.

“Doyoung has always been there for us, now let us return the favor and be there for you and Areum.”

Your protests were deemed useless, so you allowed them to do so. Once you finished law school and take the exams, you could pay them back. It’s phenomenal how Doyoung’s good influence towards others multiplied even after his passing. Maybe if you began to view things this way, you’d recover sooner. Although he’ll always be in your thoughts, it wouldn’t be as sensitive as it is now.

For now, you’re just going to enjoy the bliss Taeyong and Jungwoo brought, retelling old tales of a drunk Doyoung on the dining table.

From behind your garden fence in secret, Doyoung secretly observed as his treasured companions interacted at last with positivity. His only daughter mirroring his adored smile, he lived in that moment vicariously through her.

What a good time to visit today, truly.

[thenocturnalmushroom]

A Cozy Night - Touyuki - CCS

Tags: Fluff; Domestic; Domestic Fluff; Self-Indulgent; Established Relationship

Read on AO3

It was almost eleven at night and Yukito still having no desire to go to sleep. He was comfortably sitting under his kotatsu, accompanied by a good show on his laptop, a tin of cookies and some delicious hot tea – a perfect combo to a winter night. His plan was to finish watching the said show that same night, even if he had to stay up until dawn; it was a Friday night and he had no class nor job the next morning so he had no worries regarded his bedtime. Besides, the show was worth the loss of some sleep hours.

The silver-haired boy was completely immersed into the story, anxiously nibbling at a sugar cookie and barely noticing how his body was slowly leaning toward the laptop while his almost unblinking eyes refused to go away from the screen. The first real confront of the main character and the true villain was finally happening, and it was intense. Yukito had been waiting for it for the last seven episodes and he didn’t want to miss even the smallest detail; he was sure that everything about that scene would be important later in the story. His focus was completely stolen by the show and everything else was forgotten for some long, long minutes.

And that was why the boy nearly jumped out of his skin when the bell of his house rang, letting the half-eaten cookie slip from between his fingers.

It took him only a second to recover from the startle. He quickly paused the video and retrieved the cookie from the table, throwing it into his mouth, before heading to the front door, still chewing on the sweet. Being a little past eleven now, Yukito could only think about one single person who would come to visit him this late at night - and it made his heart singing inside his chest.

He hurried to open the door, and there was no surprise when he found Touya waiting outside, his hands shoved into the pockets of his heavy coat and a soft smile touching his lips.

“Hey!”, his boyfriend greeted him so casually, as if he wasn’t clearly freezing in that cold night.

“Touya!”, Yukito exclaimed his name for both the pleasure of saying it and as slight scold. He gave a step aside. “Hurry inside or you’ll end up getting sick!”

Touya wasted no time and complied. While Yukito closed and locked the door again, Touya carefully landed his backpack on the floor right before taking off his shoes, placing them besides his boyfriend’s ones.

“What are you doing here?”, the silver-haired boy asked while helping the other to take out his coat, which was slightly wet from the light snow that was falling outside. “I thought your shift at the restaurant would only end around midnight.”

“Things were too slow today, so my boss decided to close earlier.”, Touya casually passed his hands through his damped hair, shaking it softly. He had strongly regraded not having brought with him an umbrella or at least a bonnet.

Yukito quickly run to the cupboard to fetch a towel for him.

“If you have some spare time, you should have gone home and rested. You’ve been working harder than the usual this week.”, he said, handing the towel to Touya. It wasn't like he wasn't happy to see the other boy. Not at all. The week had been so busy that they had barely had time to meet outside the few classes they share together. However, Yukito couldn’t help but worry about Touya and his health; he would gladly sacrifice some of their time together if that meant that Touya was getting a proper time to rest, recovering all the energy he had spent between classes and all his numerous part-time jobs. He knew his boyfriend was strong, but he was still human.

“I think I can rest here pretty well, can’t I?”, Touya put the towel round his neck and gave a step forward to close even more the already short distance between them. Gently, he touched Yukito’s face, a cold hand on a warm skin, giving to both of them a pleasant shiver. Looking unbothered by the coolness of his boyfriend’s hand, Yukito covered it with his own hand, rubbing his cheek against Touya’s palm as if to lend it some warmth in a tender, affectionate gesture. As tender and affectionate as the smile they both wore on his lips. “Besides, I am home.”

Yukito’s eyes widened for a moment, his face feeling suddenly hot; he wasn’t waiting for a response like that. He felt a bubbling sensation being born inside his stomach and rise through his throat, taking the shape of a soft, cheerful giggle. “Tou-ya, you’re such a sappy!”

“Who are you calling sappy?”, Touya frowned, using the hand he was resting on the other boy’s face to pinch his cheek lightly. He looked annoyed, but Yukito knew it was only a facade; he could see all the softness around his boyfriend’s dark eyes, at the tips of his thin lips, almost imperceptibly turned upwards. And it only made him laugh even more.

Seeing Yukito like this made Touya’s frown melted into the fondest of the smiles. The urge of kissing the silver-haired boy he always feels whenever he sees his face – or thinks about him – only intensified at the that moment and Touya decided to just go for it. He leaned forward, now with both of his hand gingerly cupping Yukito’s face, bringing him closer and closer and closer, so ready to taste his lips once again, always so soft and sweet.

But the kiss never came.

“No! No! No! Rest first, kisses second!”, Yukito declared and ,with an unexpected quick movement, he turned his boyfriend around before putting his hand on his back to gently lead him to the living room.

“Yuki, what the…”

“You go rest and I’ll make some sandwiches and pour some tea for us. You can kiss me as much as you want later.”

“Fine.”, Touya agreed in defeat. It wasn’t exactly what he had planned, but it sounded good enough for him.

--

Touya took a place at the kotatsu, finishing drying his hair while listening Yukito in the kitchen preparing their snacks. He thought about offering some help to his boyfriend, but he quickly dismissed the idea; Yukito had insisted so much to him to take a rest that the boy would, for sure, kicked him out of the kitchen in no time. Without much to do, he stared at the laptop over the table, finding a paused image of what looked like an intense fight scene on its screen, and started trying to guess what this show was about.

It didn’t take much time for Touya to start feeling bored. He started darting looks at the open door, as if doing so Yukito would hurry up and come back to keep him company. He had been craving his boyfriend presence during that entire hectic week; they had had so little time to spend together these past days and Touya was eager to compensate for the lost time, for all the hugs and kisses and smiles they wasn’t able to share throughout the week.

A few more minutes had passed and Touya decided that being scolded and kicked out of the kitchen by Yukito would worth it.

However, none of it came to him.

“Ah, Toya! Great timing!”, exclaimed Yukito, his hands holding a tray piled up with half dozen  sandwiches. Resting over the sink top, another tray was waiting to be picked up, this one carrying two mugs and a steaming teapot. The sweet essence of the tea was hanging on the air, hitting Toya’s noise with the fresh smell of peaches and mint. “Can you pick the other tray, please?”

Carrying a tray each, Touya and Yukito came back to the living room and, without any waste of time, they set the table for their almost-midnight snack, sitting shoulder to shoulder under the heat of the kotatsu. Touya asked about the movie on the laptop screen and Yukito gladly talked all about it while they were eating, making sure to avoid any greater spoilers.

“That show sounds pretty cool.”, Touya said, between a bite and another. If he were being honest, he wasn’t sure if the plot of the show actually sounded that great or if it was Yukito’s enthusiasm about it that picked up his interest on it.

“If you want to, we can watch it together! I wouldn’t mind rewatching the previous episodes with you.”, his smile was so warm, so cozy when he made the offer that Touya found himself completely unable to answer anything but yes.

“Sure! Do you wanna start right now?” and the silver-haired boy didn’t need any other word to draw his laptop closer and click back on the very first episode of the series.

Rewatching the show was still pretty fun, but having Touya by his side was the best part of it. And it wasn’t only because now he had someone to share his thoughts about it. Having Touya’s arm around him, involving his body with his warmth, his scent, his strong but gentle presence, filled Yukito’s heart with the coziest of the feelings.

He felt whole. He felt safe.

He felt at home.

The same could be told about Touya. The boy could feel all the tiredness of the week melting away, leaving his shoulders lighter and his chest full of warmness and the sweetest peace. He nestled his boyfriend comfortably into his arms and rested his cheek on the top of his head, breathing slowly, absorbing Yukito’s presence and letting it impregnate his lungs, his heart, his whole being.

It was like magic; something fantastic and hard to describe, but so easy to feel – to get immerse in.

Yukito was his safe place and Touya always does his best to be the same to Yukito.

In their small, quiet world, Touya could finally feel truly relaxed, leaving all the stress and exhaustion from that long, long week behind and embrace the serenity of the moment. He allowed his body to go limp and his eyelids to get heavier and heavier, giving in to a sweet sleepiness state.

“I think we should go sleep.”, Yukito suggested, a hint of laughter in his voice. “We can watch the rest of the show tomorrow.”

Touya yawned. “Good idea.”

The taller boyfriend unwrapped his arms from around the other to stretch his body a bit, letting the silver-haired boy free to lean toward and close his laptop. But, before he could do anything else, such as get up and start cleaning up the table, Touya enlaced his waist once again, keeping him close to himself.

“Hey, don’t think I forgot about the kisses you’ve promised me!”, Touya smiled and cupped Yukito’s face with one of his hands, his thumb tenderly stroking his boyfriend’s cheek.

Yukito’s eyes lighted up like a moon finally appearing from behind a thick layer of clouds; so bright, so beautiful, so powerful against the darkness. Toya nearly lost his breath when he smiled back at him, the same smile that made him fall in love so many years ago. Sweet and vibrant. So sincere and genuine, coming from his core and growing until it blossom into his lips.

Those warm, soft lips that Touya was dying to kiss. So, that was what he did it.

Toya leaned forward and kissed Yukito exactly the way he was waiting for the whole day: slowly and affectionate, enjoying every single second of it. There was no hurry; they had all the time in the world - their private world. They could just allowed themselves to get lost in each other’s touch, to dive in each other’s warmth, in the sweetness of the other’s mouth. To Yukito, Touya’s lips had always tasted like peaches, but, somehow, they tasted especially sweet that night; he wondered if the tea they had had earlier would have something to do with that. Coincidentally, Touya found Yukito’s lips softer than ever, more tempting than ever.

“Satisfied?”, Yukito asked with a soft giggle when their lips parted. Even with their mouths parted, they kept their faces close, forehead to forehead, the tip of their noses softly brushing to the other in a loving gesture, while their bodies followed the example and still tangled in an embrace so tight that one could feel the other’s heart beating fast against their own.

“Not quite. I could have a dozen more of it, but I’m so tired right now that I think I’ll save them for tomorrow.”, as to emphasize his words, Touya closed his eyes and let his head slowly slip until it found the curve of Yukito’s neck, resting there with a content sigh. He could feel his boyfriend’s body shaking in a quiet laughter.

Yukito landed a gentle kiss on the top of Touya’s head, whispering against his dark strands: “They will be waiting for you in the morning.”

Hearing those words, Touya smiled and released the weight of his tired body over Yukito’s. Caught by surprise, the silver-haired boy’s body easily gave in with the sudden extra weight and lay down on his back with his boyfriend on his top, making both boys laugh.

Touya rested his head on Yukito’s chest and hugged his wait, while Yukito wrapped his arms around his shoulder, using one of his hands to stroke Touya’s hair in the most tender way, giving his boyfriend some pleasant goosebumps.

“We should go to bed, you know? Or we’re gonna catch a cold.”, Yukito said, but made no effort to get up or made his boyfriend to do so.

“We’ll be fine. We have the kotatsu and each other to keep ourselves warm the whole night.”, Touya’s voice was heavy with sleep, getting lower and lower with every word he said. Yukito only answer was a soft giggle and another kiss on his head.

They both felt so comfortable, so in peace resting in each other’s arms. They let the pounding of the other’s heart be their lullaby, leading them to a sweet slumber.

“Tou-ya~!”, Yukito called him with what was left of his consciousness.

“Hm?”

“Love you.”

Touya smiled to himself. “I love you, too.”

[peakyswritings]

Another Love

Tommy Shelby x female!reader

A/N: hi! This is my first fic and I don’t actually know how I feel about it. I’ve been inspired by the song “Another Love” by Tom Odell and I used #13 and #40 from the angst prompt list. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language, so forgive me if you find any mistake

Warnings: angst, smoking, drinking, slight self-hate

The gif is not mine, credits to the owner

All my tears have been used up on another love

The first time you met Tomas Shelby was at the Garrison. You where new in town and you had just started working there as a barmaid, he was in the private room with his brothers, smoking and drinking whiskey. Harry had warned you about them, he had told you that every order was on the house and to be sure that they always had their glasses refilled in the shortest amount of time. You didn’t know exactly what kind of business the Peaky Blinders were in, but you were not blind. Three things caught your attention in the first week. First, they had blades in their caps. The second thing you noticed was the respect and fear people showed towards them. Last but not least, they always carried guns. You tried to follow Harry’s advice, trying to avoid any kind of personal contact with them and only getting close to them to take their orders and refill their glasses.

That was until that night.

You and Tommy had never talked much before- just some small talk, but nothing serious- and he never paid particular attention to you, but that night something changed. It was closing time, Harry had already headed home because it was your turn to close the Garrison. The customers were gone and you were cleaning up the last glasses, when he entered the pub. He was drenched by the rain and he looked exhausted. He didn’t say a word as he let himself fall on a chair and he lit himself a cigarette.

“Do you need something, Mr Shelby?” you asked politely. You surely didn’t expect him to show up at that hour of the night.

“Just pour me some whiskey, Y/N” he said taking a drag from his cigarette.

You did as he said, then you turned your back to him to keep cleaning the counter. You both stayed silent for a while and for the whole time you could feel his eyes on you. After a couple glasses of whiskey and what seemed a tremendous amount of time, he finally talked.

“You know, there was a woman...”

That night he told you about his previous girlfriend, Grace. Apparently, she was a spy for the Crown and he fell in love with her. She had left for America a couple months before your arrival in Small Heath and he had just been told that she got married with some rich man. You didn’t know what made him open up to you, maybe it was the whiskey, maybe his tiredness or maybe it was the fact that customers always talked about their problems with the barmaids. However, you could feel that he needed to take something off his chest, so you just listened to him.

You were surprised to see him like that. He always seemed emotionless and controlled, but that night he seemed...beaten. His usually neat suit was drenched and wrinkled, his hair was wet and he smoked cigarette after cigarette. In his worn out state he seemed more human and you felt something that you couldn’t recognise.

There was something about him that attracted you like a moth to a flame.

You didn’t talk about that again after that night and he acted like nothing happened. You thought that he probably regretted the way he opened up to you in his drunken state, but you decided not to bring it up. Actually, something did change from that night. You talked more, sometimes he would sit on a stool in front of you instead of staying in the private room just to keep you company. The more time passed, the more you found yourself catching feelings for that broken man.

I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care, but it’s so cold and I don’t know where

I brought you daffodils in a pretty string, but they won’t flower like they did last spring

Soon your friendship became something more. At the beginning things where amazing and you discovered that behind that hard exterior there was a caring and kind man. He always cared for you, making sure you where alright and he walked you home every night. Most nights you invited him in, you sat on the couch and you spent the night talking. However, as time passed by, you noticed that something was off, as if he was restrained and still deciding if he could trust you. He started to pull away, he sat in the private room of the Garrison more often, when he walked you home he didn’t come inside anymore.

Little did you know, that the cause of his detachment was his previous relationship. When Grace decided to go away, some part of him went away with her. He had feelings for you, but he was scared, he didn’t want to be hurt like that again. He knew that by pulling away from you he was hurting your feelings, he just couldn’t help it. He tried to make an effort to fix that, despite his fear and insecurity.

One morning he came to your house. The first thing you noticed when you opened the door was a beautiful bouquet of yellow daffodils surrounded by a pretty pink string.

“They say gifting a bouquet of daffodils ensures happiness” he said, handing you the flowers.

You gave him a big smile and thanked him as you took the flowers to put them in a vase, moving away from the doorstep to let him in.

“Do you want a cup of tea? I was preparing it” you said as you walked towards the teapot.

“Sure”

He sat at the table and you poured you both a cup of tea, before sitting in front of him. He was silent and he was trying to find the right words to say. He wanted to tell you that he was sorry, that he didn’t mean to push you away, that what he felt for you was real and that he was just scared. You were slowly becoming an essential part of his life and he was terrified. He ended up going away without saying a word about his feelings. Actually, he barely said a word at all, leaving you sad and confused.

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright

I’m just so tired to share my nights

I wanna cry and I wanna love

But all my tears have been used up

On another love

He didn’t want to lose you, nevertheless he kept on pushing you away, too scared to open up and to let you see the deepest parts of him, too scared to let you in only for you to walk away afraid of what you’d see. He knew that if he let you in, you would have noticed how broken and hopeless he was and you would have walked away. Just like Grace had.

He wanted to spend the night with you again, he wanted to kiss you, he wanted to make you laugh and to keep you safe, but he was restrained. He just couldn’t bring himself to do that.

Eventually you got tired of the situation. You had waited for months, given him the space he needed, but at some point it was just too much. A week after the day he left your house without an explanation you decided to confront him. It was late at night, you had just closed the Garrison and he was walking you home. As usual you invited him in and, just like every other time you had asked him in the past two months, he told you he was tired.

“Please, Tommy. I need to talk to you. If you don’t want to come inside, then we can talk here. But we can’t avoid this conversation anymore”

He knew it was a matter of time before you got tired and confronted him. He thought he had prepared himself for this, that he would have been able to face the situation when the right moment came, but he was wrong. Nothing could prepare him to let you go. You went inside and you hung your coat, then you turned to face him. He looked you in the eyes, waiting for you to talk.

“Tommy I can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried to give you some space, I waited for you, but now it’s just too much...” you said hoping to provoke something in him, something that could make him understand that he was losing you for good.

He looked hurt for a moment, but then he put on his usual mask of indifference, looking away from you.

“It’s fine, if that’s what you want” he said in a emotionless voice.

“So you basically don’t care” you crossed your arms and you kept on looking at him.

“No.”

Just one word. It was all se said before lighting up a cigarette. It would have hurt you, if you didn’t know he was lying. In the past months you had learned to read him and you could always tell when he wasn’t telling the truth.

“You’re lying”

He didn’t say a word and he kept on looking away from you. You knew he was acting like that because he didn’t want you to see that he was hurt. He did that because if he didn’t show any emotion, maybe it would have been easier to convince himself that he was not hurt. That he was alright.

“Stop running from your feelings!”

He took a last drag from his cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray and only then he looked at you.

“I want to stay with you, I want to be here for you, but I can’t if you don’t let me!”

His gaze softened when your voice cracked, but still, he didn’t say a word.

“Talk to me for God’s sake!” you snapped, exhausted.

After a few moments, he finally talked and, for the first time in a long time, he opened up to you. It was the only thing he could do if he wanted you to stay.

“I’m scared, Y/N. I’m scared to let you in because I know that you will walk away too. I’m afraid you’ll end up seeing me the way that I see myself” he looked away from you again.

You took some steps towards him and you put a hand on his cheek and stroking it gently, to make him look at you.

“There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Nothing would make me walk away from you”

You said those words looking at him in the eyes, hoping to make him understand that you were telling the truth.

“I love you, Tommy. Nothing could make me love you less”

It was the first time you said it and you meant it. He looked at you speechless. You loved him.

You loved him.

He he moved closer, and he gently put his lips on yours. It was a sweet kiss, full of love and things unsaid.

“I love you too, Y/N. And I’m sorry. Please give me another chance. I want to make this right. I will make this right. I promise.” he said with his husky voice, looking at you with his piercing blue eyes. He meant that. You didn’t answer, you just pulled him in for a kiss.

You knew it wouldn’t be easy, that there would have been ups and downs, that his wounds wouldn’t heal so easily. Nevertheless, you knew that all of that was worth it, as long as you had each other.

[jaxsteamblog]

Childhood Sweethearts

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

(A/N: Long chapter. Zuko has a bad time. :c)

Katara bumped into Suki and Thuy as she made her way through the grove. Together, with Thuy’s directions and Katara’s light, they found Zuko and Sokka only yards apart. Both men were quiet and withdrawn, and covered in mud. 

Not finding the words to breach his silence, Katara only watched Zuko from the corner of her eye. 

Back at the huts, the group was led to the showers so they could bathe. The stalls were outdoors, all in a row, but curtains were hung to give them privacy. Relaxing in the warm water, Katara used as much of the lumpy, sweet smelling soap as she could. She rinsed repeatedly, washing out debris from her hair every time. 

When they emerged, clean clothes were waiting for them and Zuko immediately went to the hut he shared with Katara. She followed after him, still quiet. 

Lifting the flap to the hut, she saw him lying face down on the mattress. 

“Okay, so obviously you saw something out there too.” She said as she walked in, the flap falling behind her.

“What did you see?” Zuko asked, his voice muffled.

“Yue.” 

Zuko rolled over enough to lay on his cheek.

“For real?” He asked.

Katara chuckled and sat next to him. As she did, he rolled onto his side and propped his head up on a fist. 

“She tried to help me with the burden of destiny.” She said.

“Wild.” Zuko said.

“Who did you see?”

“My mom.”

“What?!”

Zuko nodded and Katara laid down on her side facing him.

“What happened?” She asked.

“Nothing really. When I first looked at her, she didn’t have a face.”

“That is terrifying.”

“I agree. But when I looked at her again, she did have a face.”

“Oh spirits don’t say it was your dad’s face or something.”

“It was Noriko’s.” 

“Like, Noren’s wife?” 

“Yeah, her.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” Zuko rolled his head in an attempt to shake it. “Noren was friends with my mother and her boyfriend Ikem when they were younger.”

“Did Noriko know them?” Katara asked.

“Not that either of them have said. But Noriko had an accident in the woods a while ago and lost a lot of her memory.” He answered. 

“What kind of accident?”

“I never asked. I felt it was too invasive, you know?”

“Well, what happened to Ikem?”

Zuko laid on his back and put his hands on his stomach, but turned his head to look at Katara.

“It got awkward when Noren was telling me about him. I didn’t really want to know. But he doesn’t live in Hira’a anymore.” He said. 

“Maybe it has something to do with Noriko’s accident?” Katara suggested. 

“I don’t know.” Zuko said.

“Let’s go back and ask.” 

“Go to Hira’a and ask Noren about my mom’s old boyfriend?” 

“I mean, if you saw your mom with Noriko’s face in the swamp, maybe it’s all connected. Your mom, Ikem’s disappearance, and Noriko’s accident. Can’t hurt, right?” She asked. 

“Might be worth a shot.” Zuko said.

Katara leaned over and kissed his forehead.

“I’ll let Dong-Lee know.” She said.

Zuko held onto her and Katara lowered herself, cuddling into his side. She might need to make peace with destiny, but for now she could at least help Zuko with something important to him.

~

In the morning, when Katara explained her plan to cut the visit short so she and Zuko could head to Hira’a, the matriarch refused. Dong-Lee insisted that what the swamp showed him was far more important and insisted that they leave that day. 

Sokka looked haggard and didn’t ask to join, so Toph jumped into the decrepit old car stashed at the edge of the swamp. 

“What are you doing?” Katara asked as Toph buckled herself into the passenger’s seat. The driver didn’t seem to care and she began to work of turning over the engine.

“You do know the nearest city is Gaoling right?” Toph asked. “That’s how come I’ve been to the swamp before. I used to run away a lot.” 

“Are you going to visit your parents?” Katara asked.

“Rolling into my neighborhood with the Fire Lord and Water Tribe queen in this hunk of junk?” Toph asked. She paused as the engine roared to life and the car shook. 

“You better believe I want to visit the Beifong estate.” She said.

Toph returned to her childhood home like a landslide. In a matter of moments, Toph had dragged the equivalent of a front yard’s worth of dirt all over the pristine entry room, commandeered her parents’ private plane, and sent their driver back to the swamp in a much nicer car. 

Before Lao and Poppy Beifong could even properly introduce themselves, Zuko and Katara were swept back out, heading to the airfield. 

Toph stayed behind, for reasons only known to herself.

The plane stopped in Republic City, and that was when Zuko started to second guess the trip. 

“They have been nothing but generous, I can’t go sticking my nose into their private lives.” He babbled as they waited for the fuel truck. 

The new pilot had already boarded, and the new attendants bustled in the back preparing some sort of meal for them. Katara held Zuko’s hand as she looked around. 

“We’re just asking some questions.” She said, ducking her head down to speak quietly. “If Noren’s told you about your mother and Ikem before, I’m sure it’ll be okay.” 

“What if she went back for him and Ikem isn’t gone, he’s dead? And what if that’s the accident Noriko had?” Zuko asked. 

“We won’t know until we ask. And Zuko,” Katara waited until he looked at her. “It’s your mother.”

Looking pained, he only nodded.

It was the middle of the night when they landed in Hira’a. Too anxious to sleep, Zuko threw himself into work while Katara tried to coax him to at least lay down. He ignored her and she had to give up, too tired to fight him.

In the morning, he looked haunted. He was quiet as they ate breakfast and got ready for their outing. After washing his face and having some coffee, a little bit of life returned but it still wasn’t much to dispel his mood.

“Ready?” Katara asked.

Zuko nodded. 

They took a taxi this time, as Zuko was too jittery to sit on a motorbike. As they neared Noren’s home, his body seemed to spasm.

Katara took his hand and he stilled.

“It’ll be okay.” She murmured.

When they exited, the door to Noren’s house opened. The taxi pulled away when Noren stepped out.

“Zuko?” He asked, clearly surprised. “Ah, forgive me, Fire Lord.”

Noren bowed and Zuko took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. 

“Noren, I need to ask you something.” He said.

“Of course. Come in, come in.” Noren said hurriedly, gesturing for them to enter.

Zuko and Katara walked in, feeling the cool AC brush against their faces. 

“Noriko left to take Kiyi to her art class. I hope you’ll stay long enough to see her.” Noren said as he shut the door. “Now how can I help the Fire Lord?”

“I need you to tell me about Ikem, and my mother.” Zuko said, turning around to look at Noren. The other man’s face paled.

“Your mother?” He repeated.

“Zuko saw a vision of Ursa in the Foggy Swamp. And Noriko.” Katara said.

Noren staggered backward, falling into the door. Katara grabbed him, steadying him and looking back at Zuko.

“Your mother…” Noren murmured.

“You knew her. Both of them.” Zuko said.

“They were childhood sweethearts, you said.” Katara added gently. 

“Yes, yes I knew them.” Noren said, nodding and standing on his own. “I knew them well.”

Noren stood, looking distantly into his memory. Zuko stood quietly, watching him.

“Should we have something to drink?” Katara suggested. 

Noren shook himself, looking bewildered from her to Zuko, as if he didn’t expect to see them there.

“Right. Tea.” He mumbled and walked to the kitchen. Katara took Zuko’s arm and led him to the couch in the living room, sitting him down.

“Are you doing okay?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Zuko said softly. 

“I’m going to see if Noren needs any help. I’ll be right back.”

“Sure.”

Katara walked to the kitchen and could hear Noren speaking quietly as she neared. Stepping through the archway, she saw him standing at the phone mounted on the wall, covering the mouth piece with his hand. 

“Just do some shopping or something. You can bring Kiyi back home for dinner.”

Katara frowned and stepped further into the kitchen.

“Is everything alright?” She asked.

Noren jumped and slammed the phone back onto the mount. 

“Noriko forgot her grocery list. I was telling her what we needed.” He said and moved hurriedly to the stove. 

“How thoughtful.” Katara said flatly.

Noren grabbed his kettle and moved toward the sink.

“Let me.” Katara said, sweeping in and grabbing the handle from him. Pulling her hand through the air, water shot out of the faucet, causing the handle to screech as it was forced up to open the valve. 

Keeping icy eye contact, she filled the kettle and used the rest of the water to slam the handle back down. Then, flashing Noren a cold smile, Katara returned the kettle to the stove and clicked the knob to turn on the gas. 

“I know you know something, Noren, and I know Noriko is involved.” Katara said, watching the spark under the grate before it caught the gas. A flame shot up and she turned the knob down, placing the kettle on the grate. 

“I know you want to protect your wife,” Katara turned and stared at Noren. “But you owe Zuko the truth.” 

“The truth is going to make things worse.” Noren said.

“You don’t know that.” Katara replied.

“Trust me, I do.” He said.

“No.” Katara repeated firmly. Her hands curled into fists and the kettle started to scream, steam already pouring out of the spout and spitting boiling water. 

“Tsk.” Katara wound water from the air around her hand, freezing it as she grabbed the handle of the kettle. “It’ll scald the tea.”

Noren collected the teapot and tea tin, setting them on the counter as Katara brought the water to the correct temperature.

“Aren’t you a Firebender? Make it hot.” 

Katara sighed, chilling the water and calming herself as she poured. Zuko was far better at making tea. 

Noren busied himself with the tray while Katara made the tea. She followed him back out to the living room, where Zuko was still sitting quietly.

“That was fast.” He said.

“I can make water hot too.” Katara said, bumping purposefully into his knees as she moved to sit next to him. 

“Now, Zuko, you said you had a vision?” Noren asked as he poured out the tea. He handed out the cups, but avoided Katara’s eye.

“Yes.” Zuko said simply and Noren sat down.

“The Foggy Swamp is one of the places on earth where spirits have an easier time moving through the veil.” Katara explained. “We went out with a group and I think we all saw something.”

“The spirits?” Noren asked, sounding anxious again. “There are other places where they enter?”

His words stuck out to Katara but she nodded.

“The oasis in the North Pole is always open because of Tui and La, and that’s not always a good thing.” She said. “I heard there’s a couple of places in the Earth Kingdom, and it’s rumored there’s a library in the desert, but the Foggy Swamp is the largest place where spirits have been found.”

“Is there a place near here?” Zuko asked, having also caught on Noren’s question.

“I…” Noren brought up his tea cup but didn’t drink. He lowered it and looked down into it. 

“There are three lakes in the woods, just outside of the village. A spirit visits on each solstice and has...powers.” He said. 

“What kind of powers?” Katara asked suspiciously. 

“It’s said that she is fate and controls the past, the present, and the future. And that she shapes each and every human before they are born, creating their entire lives.” Noren said.

“What does she do at the lakes?” Zuko asked.

“She can change….things.” Noren answered.

“What things?” Zuko questioned.

“I-” Noren started but jumped as the front door opened.

Noriko burst in and looked around, shocked to see Zuko and Katara.

“Fire Lord?” She asked, confused.

“Noriko.” Katara said and stood. 

“Gah!” Noriko shut the door and smacked the back of Noren’s chair. “I thought there were burglars!” 

“I told you not to come home!” Noren said, putting his tea cup down and turning in his seat.

“Why? Because the Fire Lord and the Queen are here?” Noriko clicked her tongue in annoyance. “They come to see us all the time.” 

Noriko pushed past Noren’s chair and went to Zuko, holding out her arms.

“It is so good to see you, la.” She said and Zuko rose. He hugged her and Noriko rested her head on his chest for a moment.

“It’s good to see you, Auntie.” He said.

“Oh! You sound so tired! What happened?” Noriko patted her hands against Zuko’s chest and then turned around. “What tea is this? Did you get this out of the gold tin?”

Noren shook his head and Noriko clicked her tongue again.

“Serving the Fire Lord such mediocre tea. His uncle owns a tea shop in Ba Sing Se! This is ridiculous.” She said.

“Noriko.” Noren said but Noriko waved him off, walking to the kitchen.

“I’m making a fresh pot.” She said.

“Noriko.” Noren said again, sound desperate. Noriko stopped and looked at her husband. She then glanced at Zuko and Katara.

“What’s happened?” She asked.

“Auntie, when did you come to Hira’a?” Zuko asked.

“When did I…?” Noriko frowned. “I was born here.”

She turned to Noren. “I was born here, right?”

“My mother came here, thirteen years ago, didn’t she? Looking for Ikem?” Zuko asked. 

Noriko, still frowning, wrung her hands.

“I don’t know them.” She said.

“Noriko.” Noren said gently, standing up and taking her hands in his. He lifted them to his face and kissed her hands.

“Ursa came back, as you said. She wasn’t looking for Ikem though. She thought he was already dead.” Noren said, lowering Noriko’s hands and staring at them. “She knew her husband was a jealous man.”

Katara took Zuko’s hand and felt the chill of his skin.

“I met her at the theatre. I recognized her immediately; it was like she hadn’t aged a day.” Noren said, looking now at Noriko’s face. “She’s still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.”

Noriko pulled away and Noren turned to Zuko and Katara.

“The Mother of Faces can change how someone looks. She can also take away memories.” He said. 

“What?” Zuko asked. 

“Ozai sent men after me, shortly after Ursa left the village. I tried to hide in the woods and found the Mother of Faces by accident. I asked her to change me, but to leave my memories so I could always remember Ursa.” Noren said. 

“And when Ursa came back, you took her into the woods.” Katara said.

“It was to protect her.” Noren said and faced Zuko. “Your father was going to kill her.”

“Was it protecting her when she forgot her children?” Katara demanded.

“Noren, what are you saying?” Noriko asked, pulling on Noren’s sleeve.

“She thought she’d never see them again. That she’d never see you again.” Noren looked from Katara to Zuko. “It was unbearable for her.”

“You were able to keep memories of Ursa, did you know you would see her again?” Katara shouted.

Noren, hurt and panicked, stepped toward her.

“No! But I couldn’t think of living a life without a memory of her.” He said.

“So when Zuko was in your home, playing with his half-sister, you were happy to say nothing?” Katara questioned.

“Ozai could still-”

“Zuko is Fire Lord now!” Katara yelled.

“Stop!” Noriko cried, stepping in front of Noren and holding out her arms. “Please!”

“Both of you are incredibly selfish.” Katara spat. She glared at Noriko, even as the woman cowered. “How could you choose to forget your own children? After what you did for them?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Noriko said weakly, slowly dissolving into tears.

“Katara.” Zuko said, his voice flat.

“Childhood sweethearts.” Katara said mockingly. She then pointed at Noren. “You are just as jealous and possessive as Ozai.”

“Katara, let’s go.” Zuko said. “She made her choice.” 

Katara turned and they both started to walk to the door, hearing Noriko whimper behind them. As Zuko touched the handle, Noriko spoke quietly.

“Turtleducks.” She whispered.

The handle in Zuko’s hand melted. 

“What.” He croaked, looking at the door.

Katara turned and saw Noren holding Noriko, who was looking down at the floor.

“I remember a turtleduck pond. And a little boy.” She said. “Turtleducks don’t live in Hira’a.” 

“They live in Caldera in the summer. The ducklings would always hatch around my birthday.” Zuko said. 

Katara leaned across him, cooling the metal and pulling it off. Dropping it on the floor, she could feel Noren and Noriko jump at the sudden clatter. 

“Come on, let’s go.” She said, slipping her fingers into the space where the doorknob was and ripping the door open. 

“There was a little girl too, do you remember her?” Zuko asked, now sounding hurt. 

“Kiyi?” Noriko asked, sounding hopeful.

Zuko winced, shutting his eyes and Katara tugged on his arm.

“Let’s go.” She said again.

Katara got the taxi and gently handled Zuko into the backseat. He moved like an old man, or someone recovering from a bad fever. His skin switched rapidly from hot to cold and Katara forced him into the bathroom when they got to their rented home. 

She drew a bath for him and sat next to the tub. Zuko brought his knees to his chest, curling over his legs and sobbing. Katara stayed quiet, having to focus on her bending to keep the water from scalding or freezing him as his own bending went haywire. 

This was something they had talked about; their shared history dotted with moments of self-destruction. 

When the water stayed the same temperature and Zuko started to slump, Katara leaned over the edge to wash his hair. At the very least, she could manage that. 

After rinsing the soap out, Katara grabbed a towel as he got out. She dried him gently and Zuko stopped her. He hugged her tightly and Katara dropped the towel, feeling his damp skin cling to her shirt. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered.

“She said she poisoned Azulon to protect me. But then she just….forgot me.” Zuko said, choking up again. 

“I know.” 

“She forgot Azula. Azula truly had no one.” 

“She had you.”

“And look what I did to her.”

“Zuko.” 

“How could she forget us?”

“I don’t know.” Katara stepped back and held Zuko’s face in her hands. “But so many people have chosen to keep you in their lives. I chose you, and I will continue to choose you every day, for the rest of my life.” 

Zuko nodded and she picked up the towel. After she got him in bed, Katara sat in the bed and watched him fall asleep. As she gently pushed his long hair out of his face, she examined the different halves. 

Plucking the water out of her shirt, Katara swiped a finger at the edge of the scar. 

From the moment she first saw him, she knew what the scar was. Third degree burn, having damaged the epidermis and dermis. The burn was treated well but resulted in permanent hearing loss in one ear, vision loss in the affected eye, and contracture scar. Scarring is the result of damage being healed and collagen production. 

Only water from the spirit oasis had ever done anything to clear away scars. 

As Katara shook the water off her finger, she knew nothing had changed. 

He had been a child.

He had faced his father, knowing his mother had died at Ozai’s hand. 

“I wish I had known you when we were children.” Katara whispered as she laid down next to Zuko. “I would have loved you then and ever after.”

Curling into his side, Katara closed her eyes. When she had children, she would be a better mother. 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55

[specterchasing-a]

People Like Us || Morgan & Eddie

TIMING: Current

LOCATION: Morgan’s House

PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems​ & @specterchasing​

SUMMARY: Eddie needs help accepting the truth about who he is, and who better to lend a hand than Morgan Beck? 

CONTAINS: Internalized homophobia tw, domestic abuse mention tw (section is tagged)

Eddie learned Morgan didn’t pull punches the day he came across her picnicking among the headstones of Jericho Hill. She took one look at him and effortlessly seemed to understand what made him tick. At the time, he didn’t realize she went easy on him. He knew better now. After their last conversation, he doubted she wanted anything to do with him, or that she ever would again. Unfortunately, that didn’t change how badly he needed her help.

He pulled his car into her driveway and put it in park. Unsteady breaths staggered the rise and fall of his chest. “In through the nose, out through the mouth,” Eddie quietly instructed himself as he exited the car, flinching when the car door slammed shut upon its release from his hand. Moonlight assisted the mansion’s porchlight in illuminating the path to her front door. If it weren’t for the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, he might have appreciated the sleepy suburban ambience.

Eddie reached the door and raised his fist, hesitating at the last second. If he turned around now, he could probably still make it to his car before Morgan noticed it in her driveway. He swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat, and felt his eyes begin to sting with budding tears. Leaving now would only prove her right for calling him a coward. “Shit,” he sighed before finally knocking.

Morgan couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard someone knock on the front door. When Bex and Mina stayed, they had keys. Urk rang the bell or called out, blubbering, through the window. An unexpected knock on the door was the wrong kind of normal. Even the cats complained with tense ears and whiny meows. Make it go away.

“Yeah, I’m working on it,” Morgan mumbled. She hesitated before approaching the door, bracing herself for the worst, then decided that maybe there was no such thing in White Crest and flung it open only to find… “Eddie?” She was too surprised to keep the incredulity out of her voice. As far as she was aware they had nothing left to say to each other. She frowned, struggling to process. “Uh….can I help you?”

The sight of Morgan instantly inflamed Eddie’s precarious emotional state. He blinked as the budding tears started to blossom. More people had seen him cry in the past few weeks than he cared to admit, and Eddie wasn’t eager to add another name to the list. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like he had a say in the matter once a stray tear fled down his cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurted. “God, Morgan, I’m so sorry.” Eddie bled as much sincerity into his apology as he could muster, she needed to believe him. “I can’t do this.” He shrugged helplessly before his arms crossed tightly over his chest. “You were right about everything, and I want to set things right. With Bex, with you, with myself.” His teeth dug into the inside of his cheek momentarily. “But I’m scared and I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t have anyone else I can go to about this. Only one other person knows about me, and he doesn’t know Bex the way you do.” 

Whatever hostility Morgan had been holding onto against Eddie melted as soon as she saw his tears. And then his arms over his chest, the way he seemed desperate to hold himself together when the truth was he couldn’t, his guilt, his hurt. Morgan had seen it dozens of times, almost half of them in the mirror when she was even younger than Eddie. She didn’t know what else to do but come out and wrap him up as best she could. 

“Okay,” she said. “Okay. You’re gonna be okay, Eddie. It doesn’t feel like it, but you will be.” She pulled away, searching his face to find his comfort levels, and gave him a little tug. “Come inside, tell me what you’re worried about, and we’ll come up with something, okay?” She gave him the softest smile she could; nothing was so bad if you could smile a little about it.

Morgan didn’t yell at him, or slam the door in his face like Eddie thought she would. Instead, she hugged him, and that wasn’t something he prepared himself for on the drive over. His throat tightened as he returned the gesture, arms wrapping around her as he grounded himself within the moment. Eddie didn’t receive much physical affection. Usually, he was the one dishing it out, but he appreciated the role reversal more than he could say.

She spoke to him in words of affirmation so kind he almost believed them. As far as he could tell, ‘okay’ was officially out of his reach and would be for the foreseeable future, but he decided not to argue. He caught her eye when she pulled back and he made an effort to smile, but the best he could do was purse his lips together. Eddie followed her inside, nodding along with everything she said. 

“Thank you,” he said softly now that they were surrounded by the mansion’s walls. “Sorry, I didn’t get this far in my head,” Eddie admitted after a beat of silence. He wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand and nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “What I’m worried about is essentially everything.” He didn’t intend to sound so dramatic, but his entire world was changing around him, and he didn’t know how to talk about that nonchalantly. “But, uhm, we can start with Bex. I have to tell her. I don’t want to, but I have to, and she’s going to hate me. I don’t have a lot of friends, Morgan, so losing her is gonna suck for me.” 

Morgan led Eddie into the kitchen and started on some tea. The last thing he needed was to dehydrate while he was this tense. She smirked to herself, remembering that everything went wrong between them around a teapot last time. Maybe this could be a good do-over for both of them. While the water boiled, she put her hands on his shoulders and guided him to sit. 

“Eddie,” she began, warm and gentle. “You’re getting a little ahead of yourself. Why, exactly, do you think Bex is going to hate you? For that matter, why do you think anyone who really cares about you will?” She brushed back his messy hair, sighing. After all these years, not much had changed, not for the kids she knew, at least. “Eddie Carridine, there is nothing wrong with being the person you are. There is nothing bad or ugly or inferior about the person you were made to be. Who told you that there was?”

Eddie didn’t take in much of his surroundings. Morgan’s interior design choices passed by in a blur on their way to the kitchen. He watched as she prepared a pot of tea, the parallel between tonight and their last meeting not being lost on him either. He hoped to actually stick around long enough to try it this time. 

Morgan encouraged him to sit down, and Eddie obliged. His eyes, a little wider than usual, locked onto hers as she kept him from continuing on his downward spiral. The tone she used, the way she pushed his hair out of his face, it all felt so foreign. After Eddie learned to walk and talk, his parents never soothed him with gentle voices or gestures of affection. They preferred to let Eddie work through emotional distress on his own. They told him it would build character, but all it ever did was make him feel desperately alone. Having Morgan, someone he barely knew, do what they refused to without prompting left him feeling conflicted, but mostly grateful.

“Bex is going to hate me because I don’t think we can work through these kinds of differences,” Eddie announced, wishing he could keep the tone light. If he could, maybe the weight pressing down on his chest would start to let up. “Our relationships will be over and, I dunno, I feel like that might upset her.” Bex genuinely seemed to like him, which remained an overwhelming source of guilt.

As far as who told Eddie that being himself was a punishable offense, the list went on and on. “Do you have all day?” he asked dryly. Deflecting didn’t make him feel any better. A sigh slipped past his lips and he decided to take the question more seriously. “My parents, for starters,” he said as the lump in his throat returned. “They, uh, had expectations for me, still do, actually. And I really think this would be the final straw for them. Right now, the only reason I’m still on their insurance and why they pay my car-note is that they’re holding onto hope that I might still grow up to be a normal boy, with a normal wife, and normal kids.”

“Oh, Eddie…” Morgan sighed, brushing through the rest of his hair. “Normal isn’t a real thing. It’s an aspirational lie. No one’s normal. And, sure, you spend your time on YouTube and you can see dead people, but isn’t that also kind of what makes you amazing? Why shouldn’t this also be something that makes you amazing?” She focused on his eyes, willing him to unclench just a little more, to make this easier for both of them. “Also, not every breakup has to end in anyone hating anyone. There’s even a proud tradition in certain circles of staying friends with exes.” Also, Bex had the same secret as Eddie. But that wasn’t hers to tell. 

The kettle raddled on the stove and Morgan went to attend to it. She reached for a jar of something ready-made and dipped a heaping spoonful into the infuser and started preparing their cups. “I want to get to the heart of this with you, I do, but I need to know what level of ‘last straw’ you’re talking about here. I mean, are your parents going to hurt you, if you tell them this? Do you need to secure some resources for yourself or have someone pseudo-indestructible around? Also--” She brought the tea to the kitchen island and slid it toward Eddie before climbing onto the stool next to him. “You still haven’t told me yet. What we’re talking around, what you’re trying to accept about yourself. It might help, if you can name it.”

Eddie wanted so badly to see normality the way Morgan did, but the idea of it seemed incontestably desirable to him in this case. All his life, his parents barely acknowledged his existence and he knew he should resent them for it, but he still craved their approval in spite of everything; in spite of himself. Just once, he wanted them to recognize him as something to be proud of instead of branding him a failure with every step he took. 

“Amazing?” Eddie echoed quietly. The sudden commendation shooed away all thoughts of his parents. He looked up at Morgan like he expected her to take it back. “Most people just think the ghost thing is kind of weird.” His shoulders raised in a soft shrug. Ghosts gave his life meaning, but his dedication to them also made it more difficult to navigate. “Or fake.” Amazing. The word hung stubbornly in his mind as if daring him to believe what Morgan said could be true. “How can something that keeps me up at night be amazing?” he asked genuinely. Before he could take a leap of faith and try to celebrate instead of hide, he needed more answers.

“I’d like that,” Eddie said about staying friends with Bex. “I really do care about her, that part wasn’t a lie.” The calming way Morgan familiarized herself with his hair and seemed to know exactly what to say slowly encouraged him to take refuge in the safety of his time with her. He sniffled, but the tears in his eyes were drying. Breathing came a little easier now, which felt like a miraculous turn of events.

[DOMESTIC ABUSE MENTION]

“Not physically, I don’t think,” he answered honestly, his eyes following her as she tended to the tea. “Dad’s only ever lost his temper with me like that once.” Not a fond memory, but enough time spanned between now and then that Eddie could discuss it without unravelling. “I think they’d disown me though,” he added softly. He caught the cup of tea she slid his way and focused on the steam rising to meet his face instead of his parents. “I make good enough money, but I won’t turn down the other offer, if only for moral support.” He turned his head to face her as she sat down and made another attempt at a smile, this time with marginally more success.

[END OF DOMESTIC ABUSE MENTION]

The hint of a smile diminished when she probed for a label. Saying it out loud to Alfie hadn’t been easy, and maybe he’d been naïve for thinking it wouldn’t be hard the second time around. “I’m—” His eyes closed tightly as his head tilted to the side. He hated this, the way a three letter word felt like Mt. fucking Everest. “This is such bullshit,” Eddie announced with suddenly reopening eyes. He straightened up and took a breath. Try again. “I—I like guys, I guess.” The words shot out of his mouth faster than his usual speech, but he said it. And he didn’t feel sick. In fact, he felt kind of relieved. “One guy in particular, but yeah. I’m gay, probably. I dunno, something like that.” He winced at his convoluted confession, but he guessed it could have been worse. It could have been like the last time she tried to goad him into honesty. 

Morgan ached to see how much Eddie craved comfort,  like he’d been starved for it his whole life. He had the kind of hurt that didn’t show up on the body, the kind that she carried, that was so easy to delude yourself about. And how many times had her throat closed up when she’d tried to tell her mother, Sorry, everything’s my fault because I can only like girls! I’m a lesbian! It had been years before the words came easy to her. Eddie was only just getting started. 

“Hey,” she said softly, reaching for a clean towel and leaning over to wipe his cheeks with all the care she wished for him. “It’s not bullshit. It’s hard, I know it’s hard. But you are one of the dreamiest gay boys that ever popped out of the rainbow, and we are all so lucky that you exist. Maybe even especially the boy you like. I want to hear all about him, but first, new plan: we’re moving somewhere comfy. You’re not a part of the family until you’ve had an emotional moment in the great room, so let’s get moving.” 

She hopped off her stool and took Eddie’s mug and led him further into the house, toward the large plushy couch she and everyone she loved spent so much time on. “Also, I hope this goes without saying, but I will be there for support if that’s what you want. Just tell me when and where to show up. But, back to the main point: you’re amazing, and whatever happens, there’s no good reason for anyone to think differently. Especially because you’re gay. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we make the world go round in the most fabulous ways. But, conditioning, parents, society--there’s a lot of bullshit that keeps people like us from understanding that. When I came out to my mother, I was crying and apologizing because I thought I was literally cursing our family with my gayness. So as much as I believe in you, as much as I’m making this sound like some obvious truth--because it is--I can imagine why you might have a hard time believing it. But I don’t want to guess or project too much of myself.” At last, she settled down in her usual spot among the cushions, floating around them for how little she felt their presence. “So, can I ask you? Other people aside, because we can’t control other people’s choices, what about being gay scares you, or worries you or makes you feel...weird?”

Being called ‘one of the dreamiest gay boys to ever pop out of the rainbow’ managed to inspire Eddie’s first genuine smile of the night. Traces of sadness still lingered on his face, but he appreciated the break in tension more than he knew how to say. He didn’t know how to grapple with her saying people were lucky to know him, especially within the current context, it felt surreal. He wanted to thank Morgan in a way that showcased how much everything she said meant to him, but everything he thought to say fell short.

In the great room, he made himself comfortable next to her on the couch. A family of people like Morgan sounded too good to be true like most of what she said. Thinking about it reminded him of what she told him about the importance of hope, and Eddie decided there must have been some truth to it. As scary as it was to picture a brighter future for himself, it began to seem less like a lost cause.

“You apologized?” He didn’t mean to sound so shocked. Even though he knew better, it often seemed like self-acceptance came easier to everyone else. Hearing that even Morgan struggled to come to terms with her sexuality made him feel  substantially less alone. Eddie considered her next question carefully by turning his attention inward, it wasn’t something he often did. Pleasing the people around him automatically took precedence over making himself happy.

“Thinking about it now, I guess most of what scares me has to do with other people,” he admitted. “Rejection, ridicule, judgment, harassment. Those are the big ones and, like you said, all of that’s out of my control.” Eddie took his first sip of tea now that enough time had passed for it to cool. His hands shook a little. “If all I had to worry about was myself, I…” he trailed off in contemplation. “When I’m alone with Alfie, he’s the guy I mentioned, everything else falls away. When I touch him or manage to make him laugh—that’s it. That’s all that matters; just us. And it feels… amazing until I ask myself how people might react if they saw us. Then I start to feel dirty or-or like I’m doing something wrong, kind of like I’m going to be punished for being happy because…. because that’s always how it’s been.” Eddie realized how true what he said was as he said it. “Being gay scares me because it makes me happy.”

Had Morgan apologized to her mother? “Oh, profusely. I actually thought, if I just kept apologizing, maybe I wouldn’t ever have to actually say it and potentially break what little good there was between my mother and me. But she gave me this impatient look, and I had to, so I did. And it was--” She paused, smiling sadly. “It was maybe the only time she was really sorry for anything she’d done. She uh...she took care of me for a little bit. And that was nice. But this was in 1999, and we had an implicit understanding to keep that part of me on a need-to-know basis. But, things are different, in some ways. Maybe not for your parents, maybe not everywhere, but here? So different. So much better.” She ruffled his hair again and tried to look ahead into something better, lighter than the world he was currently living in. What would he even look like if he was really happy?

“Eddie, I really, really mean what I’m about to say. And I am saying it as someone who was literally cursed with eternal suffering during her life. As a lesbian born in ‘81. As someone who knows all kinds of logic-mazes for explaining why happiness equals bad. Okay?” She took a deep breath and turned his face gently to make sure he was looking at her face. “Love itself is never wrong. And so any happiness that comes from love can never be wrong. And you, Eddie, are so worthy of love. The last thing you need to carry is shame for discovering love, which is one of the best parts of being alive. And the last thing you should do is starve your humanity from love because of other people. The people who are happy for you and your love are the ones you should build community with anyway.”

1999 sounded like a lifetime ago. For Eddie, it nearly was. With the current state of the world and the issues its inhabitants faced, he couldn’t imagine what it must have been like back then. A need-to-know basis, that’s how Morgan described the experience. Eddie shook his head sadly. Living like that must have been so draining. Even now, for all his fear and uncertainty, he knew how lucky he was to be alive now instead of then. If he’d been born alongside Morgan in the ‘80s, this conversation likely wouldn’t have been possible. Not with her, and not with anyone else, for that matter. 

Looking to the past and acknowledging the hard-won fights of those who came before him, especially while sitting next to one of the veterans, an unexpected feeling came over Eddie. His journey, although he would be the one most affected by it, wasn’t only about him. 

“It’s different because of people like you,” he said. “I—” Eddie felt a knot form in his throat. “Morgan, if it wasn’t for you, I don’t know how long it would have taken me to reach this point. Years, maybe? And that’s if it ever happened at all.” Harsh as she’d been, her words resonated with him and carried him through confessing to Alfie. “You saw me, really saw me, and refused to tolerate the bullshit. I think I understand why now.” He shifted to face her more fully. “I want to be more like you, Morgan. Someone who makes the world a better place by existing as is, not someone who hides for the comfort of people who don’t love them.”

Love, happiness, community. Morgan said the words and Eddie latched onto them for dear life. He knew better than to think this would be easy, or that his budding bravery would never again waver in the face of adversity, but he felt better equipped to face the future. “I think you’re right,” he ventured as a look of determination shone in his bleary eyes. “I mean, I want to, anyway, and that’s a start. It’s more than I had before.”

Morgan went still, completely bewildered. “I didn’t do much,” she admitted quietly. “I was too scared. I told myself I’d just make things worse all around. But, you know, everyone was kind of scared back then. It was never about some people magically not being scared. It was about not letting your fear trap you into a life so much smaller than what you should have. You--don’t need to be like me, Eddie. Especially not the me I was at your age. I--maybe it’s not fair of me, but I really just want to spare you some of the suffering I carried with me for so long, and the suffering of people I knew. I saw tiny maneuvers that I used to make when we were talking and I saw your hurt and I just wanted to make it stop for you.” She shrugged. “Don’t wait to find the love of your life until you’re at the ass-end of your thirties. I mean, if it takes that long, who cares, because it’s exactly as cheesy and gratifying as every song you’ve ever heard makes it sound and that is worth every star in the universe. But don’t wait that long to try! You are so young, and it is over so fast. What a waste to spend it hiding when you can be testing your capacity for joy?”

She beamed at Eddie and gave his arm a squeeze. “Deciding to is a really good start. All that’s next is doing it. Do you want to figure out what you want to say? To Bex? To your parents?”

Even with Morgan telling him he didn’t need to be like her, Eddie didn’t let her convince him. He wouldn’t argue and insist she accept his purview, that didn’t seem like it would do much good. Instead, he decided to show her his appreciation with his actions moving forward. She thought she didn’t do much, and he imagined it really did feel that way, but it got her to where she was now; teaching him how to love himself in a way no one had done before. Whether she knew it or not, he owed her immensely.

He grinned when she mentioned finding the love of her life. Eddie was grateful she did, and wondered if he might have too. He knew it was too soon to tell even if he and Alfie had known each other for years, but it didn’t hurt to play with the thought. 

Eddie took a deep breath when she asked where he’d like to begin. “Bex, definitely,” he said with a confident nod. “I don’t want whatever my mom and dad have to say about it to throw me off before I have a chance to enjoy myself, y’know? With Bex, at least she won’t hold it against me for just… being who I am.”

“No, she won’t,” Morgan agreed. “She won’t appreciate being lied to, but she’s not a closed minded girl. I think being honest about why you did what you did and why you’re doing this now is a good step alongside, you know, ‘guess what babe, I’m gay’. It’s kind of awful, but coming clean is usually the fastest way to fix something when you’ve made a mess. Even if it also feels like the hardest.” And maybe Bex would have some relief and tell Eddie about all those ‘I love you’s she’d exchanged with Mina by the pool. But as much as that would give Eddie some comfort, it wasn’t hers to tell. And maybe he’d feel braver, going in prepared for the worst and finding his world still intact. “Although, maybe don’t be that casual and literally say that. Unless it helps you say it easier! Once the words have come out, you sort of have to keep going with them, and that can actually be as great as it is scary.”

Eddie’s head bobbed in agreement as Morgan offered advice. He wouldn’t let doubt trickle in and throw him off course, not yet. If she said Bex would understand, he trusted her. They lived together once, made art together, they had to have been close. Eddie momentarily wondered why that all came to an end, but now wasn’t the time to ask questions like that. In any case, it wasn’t his business what went on between Bex and Morgan even if he cared about both of them a great deal.

He breathed a soft laugh through his nose when she advised him against being as casual as her example. “I have… no idea what the easiest way to say it will be,” he admitted. “I try to plan it out in my mind and a wall goes up.” He made a sharp gesture with his hand to mimic the wall being built. “Maybe…” Eddie trailed off as an idea began forming. “Okay, what if you pretend to be Bex and we play out what might happen? I think I’ll do better with a trial run.”

Morgan snorted with laughter. “We, uh--” Could, but there’s no way I can prepare you for her not-girlfriend in the pool. “Yeah! Why not. Bex is not the most predictable girl, but I will do my best.” She took a deep breath and adjusted herself on the couch. “Hey, Eddie,” she said, doing her best imitation of Bex’s speech cadence. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Eddie straightened up and mentally prepared himself, but the second Morgan imitated Bex, he burst out in unexpected laughter. “Is that really what you think Mainers sound like?” he asked in a bubbly tone. “Maybe, just use your normal accent and I’ll rely on my imagination. I cannot take you seriously when you sound like that.”

“What? That was totally spot-on!” Morgan said, laughing in spite of herself. She shook out her hair and tossed it into Bex’s usual middle part. “Is this not the spitting image? I don’t have the height, but I’ve got the nervous puppy eyes.” Morgan demonstrated, and not too badly, but only because she already had that face in her arsenal long before she met Bex. “But, okay, okay. I am me and you are imagining me as Bex: Hey, Eddie. What did you want to talk to me about?”

When Morgan insisted her Bex impersonation had been spot-on, Eddie immediately shook his head defiantly. “You have natural puppy dog eyes, doing that doesn’t count towards your score. Let me show you a real Bex impersonation.” He took a moment to get into character. His hands clasped in his lap, his shoulders jutted forward slightly to give the impression of timidity, and his eyes widened with brightness.

“Oh, um, hi, Morgan,” he said, altering his voice to convey Bex’s signature nervous excitement. “You said—You said you wanted to talk to me, right? I was busy studying, y’know, about anthropology—” Eddie nearly made himself break character by laughing, but quickly centered himself. “But I… I want to hear what you have to say.”

Eddie raised both hands palm-side up and leaned back with a satisfied expression on his face. “And that’s how it’s done.”

When Morgan was herself as Bex and Eddie returned to being Eddie, the seriousness of the situation crept back up on him. “What I want to talk to you about is… well, us,” he started slowly. His heart picked up speed within his chest even though he wasn’t actually talking to Bex. “I haven’t been completely honest with you about… about who I am. I haven’t been honest with myself, either, but I want to change that, starting now. Bex, I care about you very much and losing you as a friend would wreck me, but I can’t be your boyfriend anymore.” The words flowed from him with surprising ease. When he talked instead of obsessively thinking about what he wanted to say, it came naturally to him.

“I’m gay, and I need to stop hurting both of us by pretending that I’m not.”

Morgan thought carefully, trying to think of Bex’s worst case scenario and some response that wouldn’t crush Eddie’s spirit. Empathy wasn’t always her strong suit, and this had been going on for a little while… “Oh. When you say that, do you mean, did you know that you were when you asked me out? And when we kissed?”

“Yes,” Eddie responded hesitantly. He needed to be as honest as possible and not allow himself to hide behind excuses. Even if he did, he knew Morgan would call him out. “At the time, I thought it might be something I could change or, at least, conceal by being in a relationship with you. I understand if you’re upset with me, but I… I really do care about you. I never should’ve wrapped you up in my self-loathing. You deserve better than that.”

“I...can’t believe you used me like that. I think...I’m going to need a little bit of time with this. All this time, I was sort of hoping you’d be one of the few people who wasn’t lying to me,” Morgan said, choosing her words carefully. “But I don’t hate you Eddie. I could never hate you. And I don’t want to stop being your friend. Are you--gonna be okay and all?”

Eddie appreciated Morgan’s commitment to letting things play out honestly even though it stung. “I’m sorry for being so selfish. I will try my best to make it up to you in the future, if you’ll let me. Once… once you’ve had time, of course.” At the very least, Morgan elected to have her version of Bex not cut him out of her life completely. It gave him a little hope. “Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna be okay,” he said softly, slipping out of the scene as he struggled a little under the weight of it. He knew he could do this, or hoped he could anyway, but it was hard. And it would be even harder when it really happened. “How was that?” he asked Morgan, not Bex, hoping she would accept that he’d reached his limit. After the past 24 hours and all they entailed, he was starting to feel the gravity of emotional exhaustion take its toll.

fadaMorgan beamed and drew Eddie tight into her arms. “That was good. That was so, so good. And you were so brave. And I need to tell you now, I don’t think it’ll be that bad. But I did think that you might feel better if you’ve practiced the worst-case scenario with her I could think of, and know it’ll be okay. And it will be. One way or another, I know it will be okay with you and Bex. Alright?”

Eddie melted into the embrace immediately. He appreciated how well Morgan already knew to take care of him. After years spent being touch-starved, moments like this were life-savers. “I’m glad you played it that way,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her. “Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.” Everything felt heavy, but he only needed to carry it a little further. “I trust you,” he said, meaning it with his entire heart. “I think I’m gonna be okay.”

[shijiujun]

[ENG] History3: Trapped Novel - Chapter Eight

Translation Masterpost can be found here

Disclaimer: Translations are entirely mine - these are not official translations and some phrases have been changed for better English interpretation so you’ll definitely see better/different translations elsewhere. Also keeping in mind when we translated this we aren’t exactly thinking about the style of writing and this translation is as close to the novel as we can make it XD So yes, some parts may be a little awkward to read. And yes some teeny weeny details and words may not turn up in the translation because the Chi to Eng mind acrobatics didn’t work out. If you see asterisks, scroll all the way to the bottom for notes!

Full chapter below the cut

*Note: ERMMMMM I’M BACK? So there was a plan for Chapter 8 and 9 translations, but I didn’t want to leave this until like 2021, so I’m trying my best to just clear it before New Years. Not sure how many of y’all are still reading this, but... I just don’t want to remember that this is incomplete hahahaha, so yeah, I did Chapter 8, and Chapter 9 should be up within the next couple of weeks, so it’ll be pretty and complete for 2021!

Chapter Eight

The act of handing Li Zhi De over to the police force led to the emergence of dissenting voices within Xing Tian Meng, and even the elders that were initially approving of the reform were beginning to shift towards a neutral position, stopping the biddings that were proceeding at hand.

Jack is walking towards the spot where he parked the car, and suddenly, someone emerges from behind a pillar and stops him in his tracks.

“Chen-ye would like to speak to you.”

After coldly shooting the man a glance, Jack gets into the other’s car and is brought to a tea house. Jack walks inside, and as expected, he sees a man with a scar on the right side of his cheek — Chen Wen Hao.

“I didn’t expect Chen-ye’s invitation.”

“When it comes to talented people, even if I have to personally make the trip, I will,” Chen Wen Hao pours a cup of tea for the other, and Jack raises the cup in a sign of respect for the man, before drinking it.

“Liang Dian, based on your intellect, you should have long established your own gang.”

“…”

Jack shudders, the sensation coming straight from his chest, and looks at the old, scheming fox before him without the slightest change in his expression. Fang Liang Dian, that is his real name, and the people who know this name are mostly dead already. From this, he can see that Chen Wen Hao has indeed gone to great lengths to obtain this information.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the ends of his lips curve up in a smile as he picks up the teapot and pours a second cup of tea for himself.

“Tang Yi spared no efforts in sending his own subordinate to the police, is such a person still worthy of being followed? Aren’t you afraid of becoming a second Zhi De?” Chen Wen Hao says as he looks at the young man before him, sliding a document filled with a list across the table.

“This is everything Wang Kun Cheng has in Taiwan, I can hand them all over to you.”

The red-haired man plays with the black leather gloves he has in his palms and without looking at the contents of the document, he returns, “How immense these benefits are, but… what do I have to exchange with Chen-ye?”

“You’re indeed interesting,” he answers, his eyes filled with impress at Jack, “I want Xing Tian Meng and Shi Hai Corporations’ data on their flow of funds, their current client lists, and also their proceeding bidding cases, as detailed as you can get them.”

“Aside from Tang Yi and Zuo Hong Ye, even Gu Dao Yi may not fully have a grip on all these you mentioned, Chen-ye, don’t you think that your exchange offer of Wang Kun Cheng’s power in Taiwan lacks sincerity?”

Jack raises an eyebrow, and bored, he takes out his butterfly knife and begins to flip it in his hands. A young henchman immediately steps up to stop him upon seeing this, but Chen Wen Hao interrupts him.

“Speaking to me with this attitude, aren’t you afraid that I’ll kill you?”

“Since Chen-ye is the one with a request, he can surely be like Liu Bei, and lower his position humbly to obtain what he wants.”*

Chen Wen Hao pats at the surface of the table, and loudly says, “Good, I did not place my bet on the wrong person! Liang Dian, Xing Tian Meng’s pool is too small, and it is a pity for you to stay here. You should come and discuss the Cambodian business with us.”

“Okay,” Jack smiles at Chen Wen Hao, the movement of the butterfly knife in his hands coming to a stop.

—

Investigations Team Three

Tonight, Zhao Zi is taking the night shift with Shao Fei, and one of them is standing in the office with the glass door closed, a cardboard box opened on the table and taking out the items inside one by one.

The box contains the last of Li Zhen-jie’s belongings, there are medals and awards, her police badge and also a team photo of Team Three.

“Boss, think back carefully, was there some connection and interaction between Li Zhen-jie and Chen Wen Hao?”

“When Li Zhen was transferred to Team Three, Chen Wen Hao was already in prison, so I don’t think they knew each other.”

“But there is Li Zhen-jie’s signature on the prison’s meeting logbook, I confirmed this, and it is indeed her handwriting. And she even went to see Chen Wen Hao with Tang Guo Dong!”

“Wait, when was this?”

“1990.”

Shao Fei looks through the things Li Li Zhen left on one hand, and recalls his conversation with Shi Da Pao.

“Since Boss said that Chen Wen Hao was already in prison before Li Zhen-jie transferred into the team, then she might have gone to see Chen Wen Hao for a case? But even if she was investigating a case, why would she have gone to see Chen Wen Hao with Tang Guo Dong? What is the relationship between them? Why did the both of them die in the same place?”

Opening the circular tube containing a graduation certificate, he doesn’t see anything else, and rifling through the books left in the box, he doesn’t find any other clues hidden between the pages either.

“Ah!”

Shao Fei yells in frustration, his hands pulling at his hair hard.

Incorrect! There has to be a clue he missed, he doesn’t believe that Li Zhen-jie was in cahoots with Xing Tian Meng, and so before she died, her meeting with Tang Guo Dong was definitely not because she wanted to leak information to him.

There has to be some other reason that made Li Zhen-jie contact Tang Guo Dong, there has to be!

It’s just, where exactly is the missing clue to the puzzle? Where is it?

“Damn it!” Shao Fei swipes Li Li Zhen’s belongings to the ground, and regrets it immediately the next second. Holding his head in his arms, he tries hard to breathe and calm his emotions down. Seeing the photo of himself and Li Zhen-jie, he remembers that when he first entered the team, he brought quite a lot of trouble to her because of his impulsive nature, but she never once chided him for it. Instead, she would generously teach him everything she knew.

“Li Zhen-jie…”

Looking at the him dressed in his police uniform and making a stupid face standing right next to Li Zhen-jie in sadness, he picks up the music box at the bottom of the box, turning the latch at the bottom to open it up as he listens to the melody repeat itself.

Suddenly, he sees a corner of what looks like paper trapped inside the box, and so he carefully uses the tip of his fingernails to grab at the corner of the aged paper, wanting to open it to see.

Shao Fei looks at the paper in disbelief, his eyes wide, this is actually something Chen Wen Hao wrote to Li Zhen-jie… a love letter?

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and the only right thing I’ve ever done is to love you. — Wen Hao

“My god!”

Shao Fei cannot believe his eyes, and so continues to explore every corner of the music box, and as expected, he finds a birth certificate issued by a hospital and on it is printed…

Name of Mother - Li Li Zhen

Name of Mother’s Significant Other - Unspecified

Date of Birth - 21 October 1990

Gender - Male

“Li Zhen-jie had a kid? And the date of birth is 21 October 1990?”

How strange, why is this date so familiar?

Hold on!

“Don’t be too touched, after all I did chase after you for four years, of course I would know today is your birthday. 21 October, Libra, people who are born on this day have extraordinary personalities and thoughts, especially when it comes to personal matters, they are more persistent and firm in attitude.”

“Pfffft…. how accurate! Super accurate!”

21 October 1990, isn’t this Tang Yi’s birthday? Also…

“How coincidental, Li Zhen-jie also has a similar music box.”

“Is that so? This is the only thing my mother left me.”

“Could it be…?”

A thought suddenly flashes across Shao Fei’s mind, and so he picks up his jacket and rushes out of the office. He almost bumps into Zhao Zi, who has just come back from buying supper.

“Huh? Ah Fei where are you going? Ah Fei? Ah Fei?”

Shao Fei holds onto his steering wheel tight, his thoughts jumbled up in a mess as he drives at an urgent speed on the road.

Suddenly, the phone he left on the passenger seat rings. Turning his head for a brief glance, he sees that it is Tang Yi.

“I’m working on a case, let’s leave it at that for now.”

He quickly responds after picking the call up, and then hangs up immediately after, slamming his foot down on the accelerator to a destination unknown.

“…”

Inside the Tang mansion, a Xing Tian Meng leader sitting behind his study desk in his office, looks dumbly at his phone.

Someone actually dared to hang up on him?

“Forget it,” Tang Yi sighs, looking at his dark phone screen helplessly, and continues working his way through unfinished work.

—

Investigations Team Three, The Next Day

Lu Jun Wei hurriedly runs into the office, and seeing their Captain, he rushes until he’s right in front of him, “Bad news! Li Zhi De died in the prosecution’s holding room!”

Shi Da Pao tugs at his own shirt, his face filled with alarm and fear, “What happened? Why did he suddenly die?”

“I’m not very sure either, all I know is that it is all under investigation at the moment.”

Shi Da Pao looks at Zhao Zi, who was in the interrogation room together with Lu Jun Wei after midnight, and asks, “Did anything strange happen yesterday during interrogation?”

“No. Li Zhi De refused to speak, and thankfully, Guan Zhi-ge was there, that’s how we managed to get some information out of him.”

“Zhou Guan Zhi? Why was he interrogating with you guys?”

Zhao Zi scratches at the back of his head, and seeing his unusually furious captain, explains, “Because Li Zhi De was very tough to handle, and Guan Zhi-ge said that he could assist us.”

Shi Da Pao immediately shoves the documents in his hand away and walks out of the team office. Seeing their boss suddenly leave like this, the rest of the team exchange looks, revealing concerned expressions.

—

Tang Household

“Ah De’s death was sudden, we need to find out who exactly did it.” Tang Yi instructs while simultaneously walking into the house as he loosens his tie, his expression serious as he faces Jack.

“Yes, boss.”

“And take note of the reactions from each Xing Tian Meng faction, we must reassure our own people. After all, I was the one who sent Li Zhi De into the station, if we don’t handle this well, it will affect the progress of Hong Ye’s current accounts.”

“I understand, I will handle this immediately.”

After Jack leaves, Tang Yi picks up his phone and once again dials for Shao Fei’s phone number, but he is still directed to leave a message after no one picks up.

“I’m Meng Shao Fei, leave a message if you have something to say, if not, hang up, thanks!”

“Meng Shao Fei, where exactly are you?”

How could he not pick up his calls or return any of his messages for a whole day?

Irritated and frustrated, he walks towards his study, and the moment he pushes the door open, he sees the man who has been missing in action for almost 30 hours standing right in front of him. The man is smiling, delighted as he presses at the phone’s mic function, and replays his previous voice messages.

“Meng Shao Fei, my whole life, no one has ever dared to not pick up my calls, and not return any of my messages!”

“Where are you? Why aren’t you picking up my calls?”

“Shao Fei, it’s been a day, it’s okay if you don’t pick up my calls, at least send me a text message to let me know you’re safe, okay?

“Shao Fei, I’m really worried about you. Can you call me? I want to hear your voice…”

Shao Fei stares as Tang Yi’s expression morphs from embarrassment to anger, and smiles, “59 calls and 15 messages, you were that worried about me?”

Tang Yi glares at the person before him, and angry, he says sarcastically, “I thought Officer Meng had evaporated from the face of the earth.”

Shao Fei walks over and apologises, tightly hugging the other, “I didn’t realise that my phone fell under the car seat, and was out of battery. I’m sorry I made you worry for so long.”

Turning his hand and returning the hug from his lover, who always manages to make him feel unlike his usual self, Tang Yi sighs, “The next time you go missing, I will put a tracking device on you. What super important case is this, that you would not even realise you didn’t have your phone on you?”

“…”

Shao Fei looks at Tang Yi, hesitant as he wonders if he should tell him what he has found so far.

“What is it?” the other asks, sensitive to Shao Fei’s unusual reaction.

“Tang Yi, do you remember the names of your adoptive parents?”

“He Ru Yu, Li Shou Xing.”

Tang Yi’s brows are furrowed, as if incredibly unwilling to bring up these two people. Shao Fei takes out the notebook he has with him and flips to a specific page. He lets Tang Yi confirm the details.

“This address here, is this the place you used to stay at when you were younger?”

“Why are you investigating my past?” Tang Yi asks, staring straight at Shao Fei with alarm, caution and confusion.

“I’m not investigating you, I was actually on another case, and who knew I found some leads related to you.”

“Leads that are related to me?”

“Mnn,” Shao Fei nods, and inhaling deeply once, he gently says, “Tang Yi, I found your mother, your biological mother.”

Before he can finish speaking, the sound of a phone ringing interrupts him. Tang Yi’s looks at Shao Fei, startled, before picking up the call.

“Boss, xiaojie was taken away by He Hang’s people, he said he wants you to go over personally in exchange for xiaojie.”

“He. Hang!”

Tang Yi says these two words through gritted teeth, then pushes away the person hugging him and rushes out of the study.

“Tang Yi! Tang Yi!”

Shao Fei chases after him, worried, and unheeding of the other’s disapproval, he squeezes into the passenger seat and follows the murderous Xing Tian Meng leader to the destination highlighted by He Hang.

—-

Investigations Team Three Office - Staircase Landing

Zhou Guan Zhi is slammed heavily against the wall in the staircase landing, held up by Shi Da Pao via his collar.

Because the impact of the force used was too heavy, the man whose back struck the wall ends up in a coughing fit.

“Li Zhi De’s matter, were you the one?!”

“The person died at the prosecution’s office, how is that any of my business.”

Zhou Guan Zhi pushes Shi Da Pao away, turning around and about to leave, but the other man immediately grabs at him.

“If it wasn’t you, how would you have known that he’s dead? And you also know exactly where he died?”

He deliberately used the word ‘matter’ to replace ‘death’, and so if Zhou Guan Zhi really had nothing to do with this, then his first reaction would be similar to that of other Team Three members. It would be disbelief, fear and alarm, and not this look, as if he knew about this much earlier. Even the fact that Li Zhi De was transferred to the prosecution’s interrogation room from their own after midnight, he knows such a detail this clearly.

“You were afraid he would implicate you, and so you killed him, didn’t you?”

“Of course I’m afraid he will expose me, but boss, aren’t you afraid?”

Shi Da Pao’s eyes shift, and he retorts, “You were the one who murdered him, it’s nothing to do with me.”

“How could this not have anything to do with you? The one who let Ah Fei do as he like and investigate this case was you, the one who allowed him to protect Tang Yi right at his side was also you. In the end, we even got to the stage where Li Zhi De was brought back to the station, of course I had to silence him! If I wait until he reveals everything then you and I both are done for.”

The man, his gaze murderous and cold, laugh as he pats at the captain’s face.

“You actually knew what I was doing all along, but when have you ever stopped me during these four years? You gave the silent approval to your subordinate to sell off the drugs the police force obtained in return for a profit. Shi Da Pao, do you still think this has nothing to do with you?”

“…”

Shi Da Pao is speechless as he hears Zhou Guan Zhi’s accusations.

“Besides, that case four years ago, you were also a bystander who did nothing to stop it. What was Li Li Zhen’s relationship with you, that you would allow the rumours of her cooperating with Xing Tian Meng run rampant in the station? And you never once helped to clear her name, so you’re an accomplice. You are an accomplice who caused the death of others for your own greed, just like me!”

The last few words smash through the last of Shi Da Pao’s strength, and he numbly sits on the stairs. Covering his face in guilt, his voice weak, he says, “Why didn’t you just stop at the incident four years ago? Ah Zhi, you have already earned so much in the past few years. It’s enough! Stop already!”

“Enough?” the person who hears this cranes his neck upwards and sneers. “We police officers put our lives on the line day in and out only to earn this meagre salary. It’s not even enough to stuff the gaps of my teeth, how do I deal with those chasing me to repay debts? Stop putting yourself on a high horse, you are no different from me.”

Shi Dao Pao puts down the hands covering his face and looks at the person who’s slowly descending into insanity, and shakes his head, “You’re like this because you gamble, and this is your just desserts. And me… I did it to save my daughter. These four years, I’ve never once had a restful night, and I live in terror and regret everyday.”

Zhou Guan Zhi smirks, his eyes slanting to look at the person seated on the stairs, “Boss, as long as you took the money, your hands are dirty. No matter if it is because I deserve it, or if you were forced into a dead end, you’ve been tainted, and it is what it is.”

“Besides, isn’t it the money you took that year which allowed Xiao Ya to live on happily, all the way until now, when she’s able to have her wedding? So it doesn’t matter who wants to dig up the case from four years ago again, I will definitely not let him get away!”

He knows Zhou Guan Zhi is referring to Shao Fei, who has been so focused on the homicide case from four years ago, and he finally stands up, grips at Zhou Guan Zhi’s shirt collars and yells for him to stop.

“Ah Zhi, stop! Don’t fall any deeper into this!”

“Boss, don’t worry. I’ll be very subtle, no one will be able to find out. As long as you don’t say anything and I don’t say anything, after a period of time, this will be slowly forgotten by everyone,” Zhou Guan Zhi says, arrogantly slapping away the hands at his collar and turns away.

“Ah Zhi, aren’t you afraid that I will turn myself in and expose you?”

“You!”

Zhou Guan Zhi turns back abruptly, his eyes betraying his impulse to strangle Shi Da Pao to death right at that very moment, but Shi Da Pao is no amateur either, and if they really do get into a fight, he will not have it easy. Instead, he tries the soft approach, lightening his tone as he tries to convince his Captain that they are both on the same boat.

“Boss, don’t do foolish things. Xiao Ya is about to get married, and you’ve done so much for her. Don’t you want to see her happily get married, and become the most beautiful bride?”

“,,,”

Shi Da Pao’s eyes tear up as he keeps silent, Zhou Guan Zhi hitting him where it hurts. Seeing that he has gotten his way, Zhou Guan Zhi smiles, smug as he stuffs his hands into his jacket’s pockets. He leaves the staircase, whistling casually as he goes.

—

In an Abandoned Factory

Chen Wen Hao sits on a chair, two men standing next to him on his sides. On the other chair, Zuo Hong Ye’s hands have been tied behind her, and a cloth is stuffed into her mouth, but she displays no sign of fear as she glares at He Hang, who has a gun pressed to her temple. Tang Yi, who arrived with Shao Fei, nods at Gu Dao Yi, who has been waiting outside for a while, and the three of them walk into the abandoned factory that is filled with a metallic stench.

“I’m here, let Hong Ye go.”

“No problem. My target is not her. He Hang, let Zuo-xiaojie go.”

“Boss, aren’t we making it too easy for Tang Yi by letting Zuo Hong Ye go?” He Hang refuses to loosen the ropes on Hong Ye as he glares at Tang Yi in fury.

“Tang Yi, I’ve been in Xing Tian Meng for so long, why did Tang Guo Dong let you become leader? How much authority does Xing Tian Meng wield in the underworld, and you want to go legal and reform? Aside from cutting off our brothers’ path to riches, you also handed one of us over to the police! I might as well just kill you here, lest you get in the way.”

The gun that was pressed to Hong Ye’s brain suddenly shifts to the Xing Tian Meng leader standing before him, but all he gets in return is the other’s cold laugh, full of ridicule and mockery for He Hang.

“You? If you were really capable, how would you have repeatedly failed in trying to assassinate me?”

“Fuck! I will kill you right now with a single shot, do you not believe me?!”

“He Hang, did you forget that I am still here? You’re in no position to talk here.”

“Chen… Chen-ye… but…”

Chen Wen Hao’s seemingly light tone belies a chilling warning under it, and He Hang retreats, not daring to say another word.

“Yes… yes, Chen-ye…”

Drenched in cold sweat, the man immediately keeps his gun, and loosens the ropes on Hong Ye, then pushes her towards Tang Yi. Tang Yi catches Hong Ye, and asks, concerned, “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Dao Yi, take Hong Ye and go.”

The bespectacled man stands between He Hang and Hong Ye, as if guarding against the possibility of another attack should the other man change his mind.

“I’m not going to leave, I want to face this together with you at your side.”

“If you get hurt I will hate myself, so, just go!” Tang Yi says in a low voice, tightly holding onto Hong Ye’s arm.

“I understand, you be careful,” Hong Ye bites at her lips, her eyes reddening as she leaves the factory under Dao Yi’s protection.

Chen Wen Hao gets to his feet from the chair and circles Tang Yi as he walks, just like a predator playing with its prey, and says, “Do you know why I had to find you today? Is it because you killed Wang Kun Cheng? Because you cost me losses of several ships worth of goods? Because you sent a bunch of my brothers to jail? Or-“

Suddenly, Chen Wen Hao stops in his footsteps right before Tang Yi, and stares into his eyes.

“Is it because four years ago, you saw the crime scene of Tang Guo Dong and Li Li Zhen’s death?”

“…”

Anger flashes in Tang Yi’s eyes, and the moment he takes a step, he is stopped by the other’s raised gun.

“No! None of that! I got you to come here because you are Tang Guo Dong’s son. Tang Guo Dong stole my woman, caused the death of my and Li Li Zhen’s child, and found someone in prison to create trouble for me, made me go through 24 years in jail. Twenty. Four. Years!”

“…”

Shao Fei stares at Chen Wen Hao in surprise, recalling the brith certificate he saw not long ago.

Li Zhen-jie’s child, was Chen Wen Hao’s? Tang Yi’s biological mother, is Li Zhen-jie? So… Chen Wen Hao is Tang Yi’s real, biological…

Chen Wen Hao does not see the young officer’s face go white, and continues, “When I came out, Xing Tian Meng became yours? What a joke, how is it that Tang Guo Dong could have everything, but I ended up with a broken family and nothing to my name? No, this is not fair, isn’t it?”

He pauses for a while after, and a dark, vicious smile emerges, “So… I want you… dead!”

All the men that were guarding outside of the factory suddenly rush in, surrounding Tang Yi and Shao Fei from the back. The both of them have no choice but to put up both their hands and pretend to surrender. Shao Fei takes half a step, opening his mouth to say, “Chen Wen Hao, Tang Yi, he’s-“

“Shut up, this is no place for you to talk.”

Tang Yi suddenly falls to the floor, avoiding the line of fire from the barrel of the gun and kicks out at the man holding the gun on him. It is only after the man falls does Tang Yi snatch the gun away, turning back to face Chen Wen Hao, the gun pointed at him.

At the same time, Chen Wen Hao has his gun turned towards Tang Yi.

“Chen Wen Hao, I’ve devised this plan for four whole years, all to force you to come back from Cambodia to take revenge for Tang-ye, because, it was you who killed him!”

“No! I didn’t kill him!”

“Shut up! You’re going to pay with your life!”

“Tang Yi!”

“Don’t stop me!”

Seeing that things are about to spiral uncontrollably, to a point of no return, Shao Fei can no longer care about anything else, and quickly blurts out the truth from that year.

“Don’t shoot! Chen Wen Hao is your father!”

===

*This is a metaphor and you can temporarily ignore who Liu Bei is.

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 36 Pt 1

The days between moving in with Gustaf and New Year’s Eve were filled with never ending chores, because despite Gustaf wanting her to relax and take it easy, Sildie wanted her apartment done. Boxing up the remaining things she put them in storage, still not at ease with getting rid of anything just yet. The hard reality of what if they split still plagued her mind, once bitten twice shy. She had to keep it real, had to think of the long term back up plan in case it all went to hell in a hand basket, especially with four children in the mix. Even more of a chore was deciding on whether to keep the furniture or sell it, what to do with the apartment, did she leave it all as it was or rent it out, sell it, renovate it? Then there was the unpacking of all her stuff in Gustaf’s apartment, their apartment, cleaning, trash pick up, the list never ended. She’d come to the realization moving just sucked.

“Ok stop.” He said one night as they sat for tea and pulled her into his lap. “You haven’t stopped all day. Let it be.” He grabbed and kissed her fingers as she went to tidy up the stack of papers on the table and secured her body to his by wrapping those outrageously long limbs around her and kissing her neck.

“Sorry, I just wanted to get it all done so we can enjoy the New Year’s Eve party.” She huffed.

“You keep running around like this you won’t make it to the party because you’ll be exhausted and asleep by seven.” He kissed her neck and bit down gently. “Let it be.” He growled as she struggled against him to free her arms so she could just tidy up those papers and be done. “We can deal with the rest after January second.” He would stipulate a time as well if required.

“Fine.” She sighed and gave up, relaxing into him. “I just wanted it clean.” She mumbled taking a sip of her tea when he finally let her go, pushing those papers further away from her, she wasn’t going to budge him on it. He was right of course, she’d been hell bent on getting everything squared away before the end of the year. “I just want to start fresh next year.”

“I get it love, I do, but I also want to see you relax.” He kissed that one spot below her ear that made her weak for him.

“That’s not playing fair.” She sighed, that clever mouth bringing her undone.

“Didn’t say anything about playing fair.” He chuckled. “Ready for the party?”

“I guess, just nervous. It’s your family and we’re leaving the kids there overnight.” She was terrified, first night away with grandpa and she had all sorts of horror stories running through her head.

“The kids will just be upstairs with dad, they’re close and with someone I trust emplicitly.” Stellan and Megan had jumped at the chance to have the kids stay over. “I think Valter is staying as well so Brendan will have someone older to hang with and Oona is staying over to hang out with Lily.” He sipped his tea and squeezed her to him.

“I know I just worry.” She mumbled, feeling a little stupid.

“It’s your job, but don’t, they’ll be fine. It’s not like they have far to come if they need us.” It was handy that his dad lived in the same building a few floors up.

“What time’s the party?”

“Starts at six and goes all night, we can disappear whenever.” He kissed her neck and sucked on her pulse. “You and I are going to have an adult New Years.” He growled, her sinful giggle made his cock twitch, he had a plan, an erotic one.

“Are we now?” She leaned back into him and snaked a hand up the back of his neck and onto his scalp, toying with the soft dusting of hair, he’d let it grow out over the holidays.

“Mmm hmmm. We’re taking this year out with a bang.” He smirked against her skin.

“Oh god Gustaf that was terrible.” She scoffed and laughed at his pun.

“Yeah, but accurate.” He kissed her temple and sipped his tea. “I also booked the cabin for January 4 through 15. A little longer than planned but the few extra days were free with the deal.”

“That sounds so good. The kids will love it. Anything we need to take care of first?” She turned so she was sitting sideways on his lap. The kids weren’t the only one looking forward to some time away. She wanted to decompress with just the six of them, giving the kids time to bond with Gustaf. It was important, for all of them.

“Just clothes and maybe some snacks, board games. There’s lots for them to do outside, but it might be good to have some indoor activities in case we get a storm. We’ll need something for them to do that’s not TV and video games.”

“It’ll be a good break. Give you boys some bonding time.” She kissed him sweetly.

“Yeah.” He smiled and hung his head thinking.

“It bothers you doesn’t it? The dad thing.” Her fingers trailed his scruff and he looked at her, those eyes of perfect blue, she drowned in them every time.

“Not bother, more, different, I just need to get used to the idea.” Her kiss was tender. “It sounds so weird to my ears.” He chuckled. “If that makes any sense at all.”

“I’ll talk to them.” She said gently.

“No.” He shook his head and kissed her hard. “No. Leave it alone. They need to do what feels right for them too love. It’s just not something I ever expected from the boys. Lily I can understand, she never knew Quinn, but the boys, it was a shock, still is.” He tangled his fingers into her hair and kissed her, long and slow. “We need time, that’s all.”

“Just know I’ll talk to them if it’s too much.” She wouldn’t see him wrecked over it, hurt over it.

“No.” He smiled at her. “That’s something we need to figure out for ourselves. The four of us need to be comfortable with it and work through the awkwardness of it.” He kissed her softly. “You can’t bail me out of this one love, and I don’t want you too, not if we’re going to be a family. It’s important to them and to me that we work through it no matter how much it terrifies the hell out of me.”

She studied that handsome face, her finger playing with his scruff. “You’re a good man.” He dropped his head and her hand cupped his cheek. “You are. Look at me.” She kissed him sweetly. “Not many would do what you’ve done for them. It makes you so special.”

“I love you, I love the kids. It’s pretty simple really.”

“Sweet man I know you do, and I hope you also know that we love you too, so much.” He kissed her, the slow devastating kiss of the only man that could render her incoherent.

“My goddess, you and the kids are my world.” He rested his head against hers. “It’s been a good year. Sure there’s been some shitty bits in there, but I met you. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me love.”

“A crazy woman who blubbers in your lap after sex, with four kids in tow.” She chuckled. “Yeah, the best.” Her tone thick with sarcasm.

“Wouldn’t change it for anything.” He grinned. “And I blubber, you fall apart.” He flicked her nose playfully.

“Me either.” Her chuckle light. “I think we make a pretty good team.”

“We do.”

“So confident.” She giggled.

“Just calling it how I see it. You make one kick ass mum you realize that right?” He said softly.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” She scoffed.

“Don’t sell yourself short. Four happy kids after what they’ve been through, that’s pretty fucking phenomenal.” Yes he knew he’d been a part of it, but she needed to hear it. Their lives had turned to shit in a blink, she had brought them to a place where they were thriving. He tried to keep the nudge out of his tone, the one that told her he wanted kids with her. Not your choice mother fucker, he cautioned silently, leave it there. He would not manipulate her no matter how much he wanted it. “Come on.” He said tapping her thigh and squeezing. “Bed, sleep. We’ve done enough for the day and I have a need to hold you close.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit either.” She said softly as she stood and took the teapot to the sink.

“You did all the hard yards love. Take a moment here and there to look at them, really look at them, they’re happy. Sure they’re still grieving and will continue to, but they’re happy.” He tucked a wave of copper over her ear. “You did that, you should be proud of it. Especially as there are so many other ways it could have turned out. Take the win love, you deserve it.” He kissed her sweetly.

“But you’ve helped where I couldn’t, you give them the missing pieces.” She kissed him tenderly. “Remember that ok?”

“I’ll remember. Bed. Come on.” He took her hand in his and tugged it to get her moving.

They snuggled in bed, Sildie almost passing out as her head hit the pillow. Sleep always took her hard, or maybe that was because she didn’t stop during the day, he thought with a wry smile. He let his mind wander as his fingers stroked her head, lips kissing her brow, breathing in her scent soothed him.

The last few days had settled him once he realized Lily was safe and Ana wasn’t going to get through the front door. His nightmare had scared him to the deepest parts of his soul, the thought of losing Lily, any of the kids had him rethinking his life. It wasn’t just him now, he had a family, responsibilities, that if he fucked up, they would feel the repercussions. He would be better, work at being a better man for them.

Next year would be busy, twelve week shoot starting in February, a premier, and hopefully more work. Maybe he’d take something closer to home, he thought, it caused him physical pain to think about being away from them for so long. They’d figure it out, they’d make it work, it was just going to tear at him.

He was hoping Sildie took the partner offer, she’d worked hard for it and wasn’t going to let anything get in her way if she decided to take it. A nanny, a housekeeper, something to take the load off when he wasn’t here. His mind chewed it over, flitting from one idea to the next until he drifted. His last conscious thought before joining Sildie in the sleep world was of a brood of kids of their own, it was often on his mind. The heart wants what the heart wants.

“Ok Lily, I’m coming. Good grief.” Sildie groaned as Lily screamed her head off through the monitor.

“Uk?” Gustaf mumbled as she pulled away from him.

“Yeah I’ll get her I’m awake now anyway.” She grumbled.

He watched her pull her robe on, the silk hiding all those delicious curves, and grinned into the pillow. The things he was going to do to her tonight, he mused as he listened to Sildie soothe Lily through the monitor.

“Lily bear, my goodness.” She cooed picking up the screaming child.

“Mum mum mum.” She sobbed as she snuggled in and hiccuped, the tiny girl was well beyond it. “Let’s get you cleaned up huh? Then some snuggles?”

“Mum mum mum.” She was a hot mess, tears and snot, that little flushed face.

“Yeah yeah, I’m here.” She sighed as she cleaned her up and dressed her in some warmer pajamas. “Were you cold little lady? Hmmm? Is that what it was? Cold and needed a snuggle?” She sat in the rocker and tucked the blanket in around her as she curled her in.

He hugged his pillow and smiled at the softness in her voice. There was no doubt in his mind she’d be a good mother, if she could only hear herself with Lily, with the boys. Getting her to see it for herself without pushing was another story.

“And you’re not going to drop any hints either asshole. Her body, her decision.” He mumbled to himself. “God I want kids with you.” He whispered into the dark as Sildie started to hum to Lily.

Pulling the covers back he climbed out of bed and found some clean sweats. It was ridiculous to be up at 4 am when they had nowhere to be until 6 that night. Padding out to the kitchen he put the kettle onto boil and dumped the tea leaves in the teapot. After the tea had steeped he poured Sildie a cup and took it in with him to Lily’s room. He smiled at the sight, his heart melting and constricting all at the same time. His two best girls fast asleep in the rocking chair. Placing the tea down he took a throw from the bed and covered Sildie up, propping her head up with a pillow so she wouldn’t get a crick in her neck. He took her tea back to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

Drinking his tea alone he had something to eat before heading into his workout room to burn off some energy, hopefully he’d be able to nap later in the day. Slipping on the gloves he started out light, letting his body warm up before going a full hour until his muscles screamed at him.

There was no anxiety, no anger, just the ebb and flow of thoughts and ideas. Things he needed to do next year in his career, with the kids, Sildie, his life had changed, dramatically, from single to father of four. He stopped suddenly and tapped the bag lightly with a fist thinking as it swayed.

“I guess this is how you feel my lovely lady.” He murmured to the bag as he thought on that epiphany some more. “Drowning doesn’t seem to cover it.” He muttered. “Single to father of four.” Maybe that was why the whole dad thing was brutally overwhelming him, he thought, maybe it had been too much, too soon. “Single to father of four.” He repeated and continued with his workout.

His thoughts drifted to their future, what he wanted, what he wanted to give them, provide for them. Sure, he wanted kids of their own, and that decision was out of his hands, at least for the moment. The punch landed softly when marriage fluttered into his mind, he still wasn’t sure if she’d want to be married, or if he was even ready to take that plunge again.

His first marriage wasn’t bad, it wasn’t a picnic either with his addiction hanging over them both like a consistent third partner in the relationship. That was half the problem, their relationship was already on shaky ground before it had even had the chance to grow, to flourish. “I’m a different person now.” He muttered, and he was, he was clean and sober for a start. He’d disassociated himself with toxic people, mainly Ana, but there were more. Greedy, lecherous people only interested in him for what he was, his fame, or money, or his family connections. That’s where Sildie was different, she saw him for who he was, fucked up bits and all. Yes, he was different, he’d changed, and had the most incredible woman in his life. “Next year.” He said softly. “Sometime next year I’ll be asking you.” He grinned. He just had to figure out if it was something she wanted. “That’ll give me something to plan while I’m on set.” He chuckled.

Ripping the gloves off he sat for meditation and let his body relax, inviting the calm in. His breathing leveled out from the exertion and the peace flooded into him. This was a peace he’d fought hard for and a peace he was only able to obtain because of Sildie. She hadn’t given it to him directly, she’d given him understanding, support, and compassion. She’d given him a reason to be a better person, a reason to fight his demons after Ana, because if he was being honest, that fucking bitch had almost put him in the bottom of a bottle again. He’d been teetering on the edge when he’d save a few wayward oranges on Sildie’s threshold.

This year had taught him a lot and given him much more. He’d had his bad days, but the good ones had outweighed those dramatically. Most of all he’d stayed sober, he’d stayed clean, and his state of mind was clearer than it had ever been. Calm and peace settled in his mind, and he’d not been at peace with himself like this for a long time, if ever.

Getting to his feet he wiped down the bag and stowed his gloves before heading for a shower. By the time he surfaced in clean sweats and a t shirt, the boys were at the kitchen island for breakfast.

“Where mum?” Brendan asked as he started making pancakes, Gustaf’s lips twitching a smile at his endearment for Sildie.

“She’s curled up with Lily in the rocker. Lily woke up screaming at four this morning.” He yawned, putting the kettle on to heat up for a fresh pot of tea.

“Ouch.” The teen winced.

“Yeah. It was a little rough.” Gustaf chuckled. “Let them sleep, we’ll stick to quiet time this morning ok?” He looked at the twins and they nodded.

“Can we play Harry?” Finn asked as he snatched a hot pancake from the plate.

“Volume down low and we might go for a walk later, get out for a bit if the weather is good, so no grumbles when we do ok?” Both boys nodded, they knew the rules, grumbles meant shortened game time. “What about you B? What are you up to today?”

“Chokladbiskvier, I thought we could take them to grandpa’s tonight.” He said flipping a pancake.

“Only if you want to, there’s no need to. My dad has the party catered.” Gustaf saw the kids eyes light up. “Christmas is for family, New Years is a little more of a party.”

“I want to.” The teen grinned.

“Then have at it. And. Yum.” He elbowed the kid playfully before pouring the water over the tea leaves.

“If I have time I might even make Kladdkaka.” Brendan said on the sly.

“Shit kid you’re killing me.” He groaned.

Once the boys had eaten and off to do their designated quiet time activity, Gustaf settled into the one seat with his book, content to have some down time of his own while his girls slept.

“Mum mum mum.” Lily said softly, tapping Sildie’s face with her tiny hand.

“I’m up.” Sildie said, inhaling sharply. “Hey there little lady.” Lily crashed into her and hugged her tight. Sildie smiled as she kissed the toddlers head. “Shall we get cleaned up and go have some breakfast?” She laughed as Lily bounced, happy and content on her lap with her usual chatter for her dad dad. Her ass was asleep and she smiled at the throw and pillow tucked in around her. Gustaf had obviously come to check on her at some point. With a clean Lily she shuffled out to the kitchen and a wonderful smell of warm cookies. Brendan had been cooking up a storm again and she was so thrilled for the boy, something that brought him so much happiness in a year where things had gone to shit in more ways than one. They’d all come a long way since their parents passed. Maybe Gustaf was right, maybe I am good at this mum thing, she thought and then snorted before kissing Lily’s head. It was only better because of Gustaf, she was drowning before he came along and swept her off her feet, cleaning pasta sauce from her floor.

He loved that look on her face, her body, she’d slept and slept hard, total relaxation. Saving his page he got up and wrapped his arms around her waist as she sat Lily in her high chair with a pancake.

“Morning lovely lady.”

“Morning.” She yawned. “Did you get some more sleep after this one made a ruckus?”

“No, but I’ll take a nap later.” He kissed her temple and let his hand wander under her robe out of the line of sight of the boys. He growled and palmed a breast gently. “Fuck I love the feel of you.” He nipped her ear as her soft moan escaped, that spot below her ear betraying her as he kissed it. “You might want to nap today, you’re gonna need every ounce of energy for what I have planned for you tonight kitten.” He murmured, turning her so she faced him. He gently gripped her chin and kissed her slowly, patiently devouring every inch of her mouth. She was breathless and struck mute by the time he let her up for air.

“I love it when you kiss me like that.” Her chest heaved, pussy throbbed, god she wanted him to bend her over the table and fuck her.

“I know.” He kissed her again tenderly. “Sit down I’ll get you some un mangled pancakes.” He chuckled at seeing Lily’s shredded breakfast on her high chair table, the child quite content making an absolute mess of herself and offering crumbs to Sildie.

The man certainly knew how to kiss a woman, she thought as she sat near Lily and watched Gustaf walk to the kitchen. How was it he made her tummy flip just by looking at those thighs, that ass, the roped muscle of his arms, those hands? Because you know what’s under all those clothes, the little devil on her shoulder whispered, and you like what he does to you, all of it. “Yes I do.” She muttered and smiled as Lily tried to feed her some squished pancake.

After Sildie had eaten Gustaf forced her into the one seat with her book. With his hands braced on the arms of the chair he leaned down and kissed her. “I don’t want to see you get out of that chair unless it’s for the bathroom.” He murmured and kissed her again. “Rest love, please. You’ve been burning the candle at both ends these past few days and I don’t want you burning out or getting sick.”

“Only if you rest too.” She trailed a finger down his jaw, over his scruff, along the column of his throat, before fanning out her fingers over his chest. That chest, she thought, all hers and damn it if she didn’t love curling into it, the safety and security she felt when she did.

“I’m going to entertain Lily, which is rest enough.” He kissed her again and left her to read.

She watched him stretch out on the floor, his body caging Lily against the corner of the room, she’d have to climb over him to get out. Looking around the apartment she smiled, the twins quietly figuring out the next puzzle on Harry Potter, Brendan in the kitchen baking, experimenting with whatever flavors he desired, happy. On the last day of the year, there was this surreal calm that had enveloped the apartment and the people in it, and she couldn’t deny that it felt really good. Gustaf was right, the kids were happy, she’d brought them to a place where they could be settled and start their life again. It wasn’t just her though, she thought, as she watched Gustaf. They were happy because of this gorgeous man laying on their floor playing with a child that wasn’t his by blood, but his in every way that mattered. He’d given them a home, a family unit.

I want more days like this, she thought, that was her goal for the coming year, more time with the kids, more time with Gustaf, more peace in their lives. What about making partner, the little voice in her head said softly, what about your dreams, your hopes? If Dana could manage her own firm and three kids with another on the way, I sure as shit can manage the four she handed me, she thought with an indignant huff. She’d thought about what Gustaf had said, get a housekeeper, a nanny, she didn’t have to do it on her own anymore so why make it harder on herself? A housekeeper would be helpful, laundry, pick the kids up, get dinner on, especially if she was working late, and especially when Gustaf was away. The only issue was cost, because she wasn’t going to expect Gustaf to pay for it all. Quinn and Dana had used one but they had dual income, maybe she could get Alice to come work full time? Do the half and half payments with Gustaf? “Now there’s a thought.” She mumbled and kept reading.

She was so engrossed in her book she didn’t notice Gustaf had fallen asleep until Lily started to get upset that dad dad wasn’t playing with her anymore. Sildie climbed out of the chair and lifted the child out from her makeshift compound. She took her to get changed and had Brendan watch her for a moment. Kneeling beside Gustaf she gently lifted his head and placed a pillow under it, grabbing the throw from the couch she covered him enough to keep his torso warm, he was out cold and she couldn’t bring herself to wake him.

“Sleep love.” She murmured, before collecting Lily from Brendan and sitting with the child to read to her.

He woke up with a tiny child using him as a jungle gym. The place was quiet apart from Lily chattering dad dad, how long had he been out? Those lips he craved pressed against his temple and he snaked an arm around Lily so she didn’t fall as she flopped over his hip with a giggle.

“Time to wake up sleepy head.” Sildie murmured, kissing his temple.

“Wow I bombed.” He yawned rolling to his back.

“You did. It’s nearly four.” Her chuckle was humorous.

“What! Shit!” He huffed. “Didn’t mean to sleep that much.” Scrubbing a hand over his face he sat up and pulled Lily into his arms, the child hugging her dad dad. “Did you get a nap?”

“Sort of, this one crashed out for about two hours. We snuggled.” She helped him to his feet and went to make tea as he wandered into the kitchen, Lily curled in, that wonderful cookie smell still lingering on the air.

“Damn those look good.” He said to Brendan at the sight of the chocolate coated Chokladbiskvier.

“These are for us, I packed up the rest for the party already.” Brendan said quietly.

“I can have one?” Gustaf grinned at him like the big kid he was at heart.

“Yeah.” B chuckled shyly, the teen was still getting used to having free reign of the kitchen.

“Yeah?” His eyes sparkled as Brendan pushed the plate over to him. Instead of taking one or two, Gustaf grabbed the entire plate and took it to the table.

“I meant one cookie.” Brendan laughed.

“Ahhh but you didn’t stipulate. I’m taking one. One plate, that just happens to have all the cookies on it.” He bundled the kid into him for a hug. “They look and smell divine. I won’t eat them all I promise.” He chuckled.

“You have to watch this one.” Sildie said to Brendan as she brought the teapot to the table.

“Apparently.” The kid laughed and hugged Gustaf tightly.

“Go take a shower and get cleaned up, make sure you’re packed for tonight.” Sildie said gently. “Finn, Liam, you too. Finish up your game, go pack and get cleaned up.”

“Mum mums cracking the whip.” Gustaf mumbled to Lily, kissing the girls head as he snagged a cookie.

“I heard that.” She scoffed and stared at him, the cheeky twinkle in his eyes made her smirk as she poured the tea.

“Keykey.” Lily chattered to Gustaf, her little hand squeezing in and out of a fist at the cookies.

“You want one?” Gustaf handed her half a cookie and she demolished it. “Chocolate fiend.”

“You good with her while I go shower?” Sildie said sipping her tea.

“Sure.”

“No more cookies.” She chuckled as that little hand reached out for another.

“I don’t blame her they’re really good.” He kissed Lily’s head and pushed the cookies away from her. He needed to stop eating them too or he’d end up the size of a house.

Sildie showered and dressed, hiding a new set of black lace under her dress. It was a simple figure hugging black wrap dress with a plunging neckline and knee high skirt, enough to have her man drooling before she set foot out the door. She topped it off with a string of moonstone beads.

“I’m going to take Lily’s por...” His sentence stopped there as he laid eyes on her, all wrapped up in black velvet.

“Going to take Lily’s what? Where?” She smirked biting her bottom lip wickedly.

He stalked across the floor, those long powerful legs eating up the hardwood flooring. Gripping her chin gently he looked at her, those ice blue eyes finding his from under her lashes. “That’s a very dangerous game to play kitten.” He growled, that low rumble making her pussy ache for him. His kiss was slow and sensual, yet demanding, his thumb gently prying her lip free from between her teeth. “One day you’ll tease me once too often.” He warned. Oh how he wanted it to be tonight, he thought, silently begging her to do it again.

She felt the power ripple off him, his presence unmistakable raw domination and she loved playing this game with him. Would he spank her tonight if she pushed him, she wondered? Her body betrayed her as a shiver skittered over her.

His low chuckle against her lips told her it hadn’t gone unnoticed. “Finish getting ready kitten, I need to take Lily’s portable crib upstairs.” He murmured, lips ghosting hers seductively before he devoured her mouth, leaving her breathless. “I can’t wait to taste you.” He purred as he pulled away from her.

He left her dazed as he walked out of the room chuckling. Collecting Lily’s crib and the boys overnight bags he headed to his fathers. This would be a New Years she wouldn’t forget in a hurry, he’d make damn sure of it. A night to leave all the shitty bits of the past twelve months behind them and start fresh tomorrow.

By the time Gustaf came back for a shower the boys were dressed, and Lily had her sunflower dress on. It was a favorite of his, something he’d found on sale before Christmas and bought it on a whim. Simple yellow gingham with embroidered sunflowers along the hem, perfect for his little ray of sunshine.

She couldn’t help it. Biting down on her bottom lip she groaned softly as Gustaf came out of the bedroom a while later in black thigh hugging denim and a crisp white shirt. His eyes met her across the tops of the boys heads and she saw the smirk twitch at his lips, he knew what that shirt did to her. Moving over to her he pocketed his phone and keys before brushing her blood red stained lips with his thumb, prying it from her teeth again. “I’m not beyond putting you over my knee tonight kitten.” He growled before kissing her, slow and erotic as her system trembled. “Mmmm, you like the sound of that don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, because he knew damn well what the thought of it did to her.

“We need to go.” She choked, breathless and wanting.

“Yes we do.” He kissed her sweetly. “Were not done.” He growled as her finger trailed the patch of chest peeking out of his dress shirt. “Nowhere near done.”

“You’re not playing fair.” She murmured.

“All bets are off tonight kitten.” He nipped her ear playfully. “Nothing I do to you tonight will be fair, but you’ll be begging me to do it over and over again.” He added before stepping away and picking Lily up. “Well don’t you look like the little ray of sunshine you are.” He said kissing the girl until she giggled while Sildie attempted to get her hormones under control. Damn he knew how to get her going, and that shirt, she wasn’t going to be able to keep her hands off him.

They locked up the apartment and climbed in the elevator, Liam pushing the button to Stellan’s floor. “I like this dress.” Gustaf whispered, his hand cupping her ass giving it a squeeze.

“Then you’ll love what’s under it.” She purred, those eyes so seductive as he chuckled before kissing her.

“Fuck I love you.” He grinned, kissing her hard as the doors opened, that wicked smile of hers making his cock throb.

The front door was wide open, Megan greeting them and getting the kids settled, Lily was determined to stay with Gustaf for the moment and snuggled into his neck. Sweet girl I know how you feel, Sildie thought, that’s where I want to be snuggled right now too. Truth be told she wanted to get her hands on him and under that shirt, and he smelled so damn good, pure freshly showered male. With a squeeze of Gustaf’s hand she ventured into the kitchen with Brendan and the cookies, Eija wrapping the kid in an excited hug. Here we go, she thought, jump in the deep end, sink or swim with his family, because she couldn’t stay glued to Gustaf every time she was around them.

“You and I need to talk Kladdkaka.” She said lifting the lid of the container holding the cookies, snagging one and biting down. “God yes, and these.”

“About what?” Brendan asked looking slightly puzzled.

“If it’s ok with your mum I want to hire you to bake for my Sunday brunches.” She said digging out another cookie.

“For real?” Brendan’s eyes went wide as dinner plates.

“For reals kid. My brother told me you were good so I took a full Kladdkaka home with me from Christmas Day and fed it to my staff just to be sure. They asked when your first shift was.” Eija chuckled.

“But what about school and hockey?” He looked at Sildie for some help, way out of his depth, but not wanting to blow this chance.

“I think we can work something out.” Eija said gently. “We can do just the Sunday brunches for the moment, get your feet wet, see how you like it, how you go when school starts up. I can send you the order Monday, you send me the list of ingredients I’ll have them delivered. Don’t change anything from what you use now, that’s what makes it yours and special. Same brands, same everything, don’t change a thing. I was thinking you could cook Saturday and then let me know when they’re done and I’ll pick them up.”

“Every Saturday?” Brendan asked and felt his heart sink.

“No, we can do one weekend a month to start. I don’t want it to be too much. And the bonus is I’ll pay you.”

“Like a job?”

“Like a job dude.” She chuckled.

“Sick.” Brendan looked at Sildie. “Can I? Please?” Sildie could see him holding his breath, the excitement at the offer, his body vibrating.

“A few conditions. School comes first, your grades drop, you’re done. Just like hockey.” She said bluntly.

“No argument from me on that one.” Eija said honestly. “Your grades drop kid, I’ll kick your ass myself.”

“Ok, I figured that was a given.” Brendan chuckled.

“Eija’s the boss. You don’t get to tell her what you’re baking, she tells you.” Brendan nodded. “Half your pay goes into the bank, no exceptions. The other half you can save and spend on whatever you like, within reason.” She smiled at him. “Other than that if you want to give it a try, then do it. If you want to think about it, then take some time to think on it. It’s a huge deal, be sure it’s what you want before committing to it. That makes it fair for Eija as well.” She watched him chew on it. The kid wasn’t impulsive to start with, but she wanted to be sure he was thinking about things before making a decision.

“Can I think about it Aunty Eija?” He asked quietly.

“Of course.” She elbowed him playfully. “And it’s just Eija, the Aunty thing makes me feel old.” She chuckled.

“Oh, sorry.” He cringed, feeling he fucked up his chances right off the mark.

“It’s fine kid.” She hugged him tightly. “You weren’t to know.”

“I should have asked first.” He mumbled and Sildie ran her fingers through his hair to soothe.

“It’s ok love she’s not angry.” Sildie said softly.

“Live and learn slick. I don’t hate it, it just makes me feel old, like my brother.” She chuckled. “Alex is a dinosaur.” She said loudly, knowing her brother on the other side of the room heard it as his head snapped to her grinning, Brendan couldn’t stop the snort. “That’s just between you and me by the way.” She chuckled and smiled as the kid lightened up.

Valter came past and hijacked their conversation, stealing the teen away so he could help kick Finns ass.

“He’s a good kid.” Eija said when it was just the two of them, handing Sildie some champagne.

“Not for me, I don’t drink.” At least not anymore and especially when there was a gorgeous man in a white dress shirt just across the room making eyes with her. She wanted to be stone cold sober when he fucked her tonight, she wanted to remember it all. “He is. Brendan’s been through a lot, took a lot on when Quinn passed. They’ve never had aunts and uncles, grandparents. It’s all new for them. Your brother gave him back his childhood, and a family.” She said quietly and cracked the seal on a bottle of water, emotions bubbling up.

“Goose is a special guy.” Eija’s honesty struck a chord in Sildie’s heart.

“He sure is.” Sildie said wistfully as she watched Gustaf, that lean body moving so gracefully. His gaze eventually caught hers from across the room, probably sensing she was watching him. Biting down gently on her bottom lip she smirked as the fire lit in his eyes, could feel the growl ripple from him silently, her finger twirling the string of beads around her neck.

He had to check the audible growl, the overwhelming urge to storm over there, strip her down to the black lace he knew was under that plush velvet dress, and spank her until she screamed, begged him to take her.

“I’m glad he met you.” Eija said softly.

“He makes me ridiculously happy, makes the kids happy.” Sildie smiled.

“He deserves someone like you, Sildie. Someone that loves him for who he is, not what his occupation is, or who he can connect them with.” Eija’s voice caught with emotion. She knew her brother had struggled, with addiction, with Ana, with anxiety and anger. He’d finally met someone that loved him for everything he was and more.

“He’s a very sweet soul.”

“I heard about your work party.” Eija said carefully. “Gustaf talked to me, in case anything gets dragged up in the media.” She added seeing the anger flare in Sildie’s eyes, nervous fingers tapping the island countertop.

“Fair enough.” She banked the fury, this whole Ana thing was bigger than her and Gustaf, it touched this entire family, she thought as she looked at Alex. She had to remember that.

“For what it’s worth I’m sorry.” Eija said quietly.

“Eija you have absolutely nothing to apologize to me for. Or like Gustaf likes to tell me, you don’t get to apologize for her. Ever.”

“Well if you need a hand burying the body let me know, I’ll grab the shovel.”

Sildie snorted. “Gustaf was right, we are so alike.”

“Nobody fucks with my brothers, especially Goose. He’s been through too much.” Eija was scrappy, and that’s what Sildie liked about her. She spoke her mind, told it to you straight, no bullshit, and no fucks given if it hurt your feelings. And she was fiercely protecting of her brothers, especially Gustaf. “Is your friend going to be ok?” She asked. Sensitive and emotional under it all, but fierce. “The lawyer?”

“I don’t know, the last I heard from Lucas she was out on bail, I don’t know when or if a court date has been set yet with all the holidays. I’m hoping it’s just a quick hearing and he can move on.”

“Will you keep me in the loop?” She asked.

“Sure, as much as I can. Lucas can’t tell me much as it’s an ongoing investigation, but if I hear anything I can text you.” She studied Eija. “You want to see her go down in court don’t you?”

“You bet your fine ass I do.” Her tone full of fire. “I want to see her fucking face when karma pays that bitch a visit.”

“No outbursts, no contact, no disruptions. If you do it could hurt Lucas and potentially drag Gustaf and yourself into the middle of it.”

“You’re right. You’re absolutely fucking right.” She sighed. “Damn it.”

“That’s what she’ll be trying to do. She wants a reaction, don’t give her one. Promise me Eija, or you’ll get no updates from me.” Eija could see she wasn’t fucking around. “It can get much worse from here, for you, Gustaf, me, my kids, I’m trying to stop that from happening.” Sildie needed to reign Eija in, if not things could get complicated.

“I promise. I want to know what’s going on but yeah, I get what you’re saying.” She looked at Sildie and saw the fear her brother had mentioned. “She won’t get near your kids Sildie. Goose won’t allow it.”

“I know, I’m more worried about what it’ll do to him.” She said softly, the terrified look in his eyes that morning he’d had the nightmare haunted her. “I can’t watch her shit storm take that peace he’s fought so hard for from him too.” Sildie looked at her and had to say it, just to be absolutely clear. “Don’t make me lawyer you. Because I’ll do it to protect those I love Eija, including you, especially your brother. He’s gone through too much to carve that bitch out of his soul, I don’t want this thrown in his face more than it has to be.” Memories of Gustaf burning the notebook flittered into her mind, the baby bootie.

“I don’t want this to hurt my brother either. You have my word, I’ll behave. I just want to see her go down.” Eija promised.

“I’ll see what I can do when or if it goes to trial. At the moment it’s just between Ana and Lucas. With a bit of luck we’ll be left out of it.” Wishful thinking, Sildie thought, but she had to hold onto something.

“Sounds good to me. Goose was right, you’re scary as fuck when the lawyer comes out.” Eija grinned.

“Oh, I can be scarier.” Sildie stated bluntly. “Gustaf knows just how scary.” She added thinking back to the night in his workout room where he’d spiraled and she’d let him have it.

“No doubt.” The muttered reply making Sildie smirk.

He watched her as she spoke to his sister, happy that they seemed to get along, admired Sildie for having the balls to clear the air with Eija on Christmas Day, that hadn’t been easy. His woman in black velvet, curves on full display, the way her fingers toyed with that damn necklace. She caught him staring, the shy smile with a hint of the erotic goddess he knew was under it all.

“You’re so fucking gone over her.” Bill snorted, playfully punching him in the shoulder.

“Yeah.” His goofy grin said it all, totally smitten. “And this one.” He added, as he picked Lily up when she wandered over to grab him by the leg. “My Lily bear.”

“She’s the cutest thing.” Alex said, coming over to stand with them. Lily eyed him and snuggled into her dad dad, she still wasn’t too sure of the oldest brother. She would be with time, Alex was just never home long enough for her to get used to him.

Sildie watched as Gustaf put Lily down, Oona waddling over and grabbing his leg, the two girls dancing and bopping at his feet. Her heart melted as he took a hold of Sam’s three month old, his hands dwarfing the baby, but it was his face that sucker punched her. Gustaf sat and cradled the baby, joy and adoration pouring from him. Did she want that with him, could she give that to him, she wondered, as the all familiar questions kept repeating in her mind like a cracked record?

They spent the early part of the evening apart, Sildie was determined not to hang on Gustaf like a lost puppy. She was a lawyer damnit and this was just his family. She had to get used to being around them, with them, and without Gustaf as a safety net. There would be times he would be away and they would visit, and she wanted to be comfortable visiting them, with or without the kids.

She smiled as Alex walked over and put Eija in a loving headlock, she missed that playfulness you could only get with a sibling. The both of them keeping her entertained and helping her to relax. Alex was reliving an exceptionally funny story when Gustaf caught her eye, that smoldering look that had her almost crossing her legs as her pussy throbbed. His gaze raked over her body, undressing her as it went, the heat rising in her. How did he do that, she wondered? Not to be outdone she nibbled on her bottom lip and saw the desire flash in his stare. Running her tongue over her lips she swore she heard his groan before he whipped out his phone. A moment later her text tone went off.

You’re playing a dangerous game kitten, unless you’re begging me to put you over my knee and spank you with an audience you need to stop.

She could practically hear the growl as the words leapt off her screen. Looking at him from under her lashes she bit her lip again and twirled a finger around the moonstone beads.

Promise?

She texted back and grinned wickedly.

He had to check the groan at her words, his cock twitching, he wasn’t going to make it until midnight if she kept up with her current sinful teasing, he was uncomfortably hard in his jeans as it was. Trying to have a conversation with his family while hiding a massive boner was difficult. Sitting on the arm chair he half tuned into the conversation, half watched his seductive goddess move through the room. Those curves, that mane of silk copper, those cherry red lips he wanted around his cock. The sight of her was seduction enough.

He watched her talk with his father, the slight shift in her emotions clear to him, but not anyone else. She was trying so hard to put her grief behind her and have a good night, making the effort to get to know his family where most others hadn’t bothered to take the time. First rule of the new year, he thought, love this woman with every part of my soul, every second of every day, show her how incredible she is.

“I’m sorry I upset you the other day.” Stellan said gently as he grabbed Sildie another water.

“You didn’t. I’m still processing a lot of grief, it gets in the way sometimes. If anything I’m the one that should be apologizing for running out of there so quickly, it was rude.” She’d felt bad after he’d helped them move the display cabinet that day.

“No need. You’re still finding your feet after the rug was ripped out from under you. It couldn’t have been easy with four kids on top of it.” Stellan watched her carefully, he didn’t want to dive into it too much and have her freak out.

“It’s no picnic.” She said softly.

“It’ll settle, give it time, lean on Gustaf, on us. We’ll do everything we can to make things easier on you and the kids, especially when Gustaf’s away. Anytime, day or night, Megan and I are just a short elevator ride away and she works from home most of the time.”

“Thank you.”

“I know Gustaf’s said it and I’ll say it too, you’re not alone anymore Sildie. This family sticks together, we help each other out. Sure we bicker and fight, but when we need to we rally, no questions, no judgement.” Stellan pulled Megan over for a kiss before they settled into a conversation about safer topics, his statement resonating with her, family, support, love.

She could see the pride Stellan had for his kids, what they’d accomplished, the lives each one of them had carved out for themselves. In the short time she’d been with his family, Gustaf resembled Stellan the most. That same warmth and kindness she felt with Gustaf she felt from Stellan, the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree. As they talked and each sibling drifted in and out of the conversation she realized how much she’d missed out on growing up, how much she missed her brother, her parents. The slow seduction from across the room throughout the night was tantalizing. Those subtle suggestive looks, the nibble of her bottom lip, the flirtatious knowing smirk he’d give her as he blatantly undressed her with his eyes. It wasn’t until 11:30 and the younger kids had gone to bed, that Gustaf stole her away from talking to his father to dance, Stellan grinning as Gustaf waltzed her around the room.

“It’s a promise kitten.” He growled at her ear as he pulled her close and swayed, the soft jazz filling the apartment. “The things I’m going to do to you.” He dipped her slowly and kissed her throat. “I should punish you for tormenting me from across the room too.” His tone was that seductive timbre that made her pussy throb. “My sex kitten in black velvet.”

She bit down on her bottom lip to push the issue and he gripped it hard, borderline painful. It always amazed her at how he managed to skate that line between pleasure and pain so deftly. Still dancing he kissed her, slow, sensual, devouring. “Don’t push me kitten.” He purred, his lips ghosting hers as he let her chin go, fingers trailing her body to wrap around hers. “You may get more than you bargained for tonight.”

“God I hope so.” She purred, those ruby red painted lips kissing that one spot on his neck that turned him to mush. “I want to feel you daddy.” She whispered.

“We’re leaving the minute after the new year.” He dipped her again. “Because I can’t wait much longer to have you. Dancing and teasing is one thing, but I want you bound and begging.” He kissed her, tongue teasing hers. “And you will be begging.”

“You keep kissing me like that and we’re not going to make it home.” She muttered as he held her close. His low chuckle rumbled from deep within his chest.

“You’ll make it home, I don’t want an audience when I fuck you slowly until you scream my name.” He felt the shiver ripple through her body, now doubt in his mind she’d be wet for him. “I’m going to take my time with you, tie you up, take you apart an orgasm at a time.” His kiss was slow and sinful and if he kept talking to her like this she was going to orgasm right in the middle of the party. “Mmm you like the sound of that don’t you kitten?”

“You know I do.” Her gaze found his, the seductive blue looking back.

“Just say the word and we’ll go.” He smirked, knowing she’d want to dance some more and see midnight, time was it’s own seduction. He twirled her around the room, content to feel her let go and have fun. This was the happiest and most carefree he’d ever seen her.

“I see where you get your jazz gene from.” She chuckled, she had to change the topic or she’d embarrass herself. “Your dad has good taste in music, that’s what we’re were talking about before you whisked me away.” She laughed as he dipped her low.

“Fuck me I love that laugh.” He murmured, his lips grazing her temple as he grinned like a fool. “Dad and I are a lot alike.”

“You are. You have the same smile.” She said softly and kissed those lips she craved. “The same kindhearted soul.” He looked at her, eyes drowning in hers.

“It takes like souls to see each other.” He tucked a wave of copper behind her ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too sweet man.”

Gustaf closed his eyes and swayed with her, the joy and happiness on her face as he held her close, the tender touches as they talked and got lost in each other. He was, as Bill had put it, gone over her, so completely. This was what he wanted of for her, the happy bubble, he’d see she got more of it.

“My Sildie.” He murmured as the countdown to midnight started. “You’re the best thing to come into my life.” He rested his forehead against hers.

“Thank you for walking into mine, into ours, you are my everything love.” She felt so at peace with him, the world on the cusp of a new year, new beginnings, a fresh start. As the clock chimed midnight he kissed her, slow and long, a silent promise that he would take care of her, take care of the kids, become the family he so desperately wanted with her, and they so desperately needed from him.

“Sweet man, I love you.” She whispered, before deepening the kiss. She wanted him, this, family, the feeling of being loved for who she was, baggage and all.

“I love you too.” He squeezed her tightly and danced her around the room. “Now those are the best first words of the new year.” He chuckled and dipped her, that laugh making him deliriously happy.

“There’s so much love in this room.” She said softly as they swayed, the slower song drifting them along with it.

“As family should be love.” He smiled kissing her head and breathing in her scent.

“Thank you.” She murmured.

“What for?”

“For giving me a family.” She whispered and closed her eyes, the stray tears falling as he danced with her cheek to cheek.

“Don’t cry love.” He kissed each cheek, the saltiness of her tears making his heart break.

“Sorry, they’re mostly happy tears.” She chuckled.

“It’s ok to miss them love.” He murmured kissing her tenderly. She was happy, yes, but the undercurrent of grief made things more difficult for her.

“I just hate when it bubbles up like this.”

“Better it bubbling up than holding it in.” He said gently, which he knew she did on a daily basis. She held so much of it in it was a wonder she could hold it together at all, he’d be a wreck. “Talk to me love.” He leaned back slightly as they continued to dance so he could see her face. “It’s New Year’s Eve, air out the mental laundry.” Her laugh was more a snort.

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.” She scoffed

“Try.” He whispered before dipping her low.

“It sounds silly.” And she wasn’t sure of what his reaction would be.

“So let it sound silly.”

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb

[insfiringyou]

BTS - Past Lives (V x Cassandra)

Contains: Discussions around pregnancy. Angst. Mentions of the past/confessions of love.

Set 2 days following the events of ‘Reaching Seoul’, Taehyung and Cassandra meet on neutral ground in a cafe. 

We wanted to show some moments between the members and their girlfriends that may not seem grand or important in the long run, but that highlight some of the conversations they might have in private. We also don’t want to shy away from some of the arguments, disagreements or bickering that might take place. 

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin  /   V   /   Jungkook & our full masterlist of fics and art can be found here

Content below the cut

He was glad to find the cafe almost deserted and that Cassandra had chosen a quiet corner to sit in. Being recognised at the service station two days before had thrown him after spending so long out of the public eye, and he had been careful getting here; taking only back-streets and donning casual clothes which were sure to make him blend in. He had considered, back in the hotel, on wearing a hat, but thought if anything it would make his features stand out more. 

The round table obscured the swell beneath her oversized jumper, and for a split second he almost forgot that anything had changed between them until she carefully rose from her seat as he joined her, shattering the illusion. He was unable to help his lingering gaze as she straightened up; her stomach straining heavily against the fabric. 

“Thanks for coming.” She said, keeping her voice low to avoid attracting any unnecessary attention. “I’ll get the drinks. Tea or coffee?”

He was silent for a moment, ashamed by his relief at her offer and realising that, like him, she was worried about him being spotted. “Tea.” He looked at her, hoping she would understand how grateful he was. She nodded politely before heading towards the counter on the other side of the room, disappearing from view. He knitted his thumbs together anxiously on the table, looking down when a young woman passed him on the way to the restroom. The rattling sound of unsteady porcelain brought his attention back, and he intuitively got to his feet as Cassandra turned the corner, precariously holding the tray of drinks. 

“Careful…” He murmured, taking it from her and setting it down gently on the table. Reaching forward, she took a sip of water from her glass and lowered herself on the chair opposite, watching him, observing. 

“You look better.” She finally said as he poured the steaming liquid from the teapot into his cup. He looked up at the sound of her voice. “Rested, I mean.” She clarified.

Taehyung sensed she was relieved, remembering how worked up and dry-eyed he had been when he saw her two days before. He had looked at himself in the bathroom mirror when he checked into the hotel and thought it was no surprise she had looked so shocked at his appearance. 

“I slept for the best part of a day.” He confirmed, blowing gently against the rim of the little porcelain cup. 

“You clearly needed it.” Her smile told him that she too was finding it hard to approach the subject they had both come here to discuss. Her initial suggestion of the cafe had seemed impersonal on the phone and he had almost protested, but he realised now why she had wanted to meet in public. Their conversation was undoubtedly more stilted than it would have been had they been alone in her apartment, but maybe that was what was needed. 

“I’m glad you called.” He admitted, taking a small sip to inadvertently avoid her gaze. He suddenly felt small and awkward, as though she would be able to see the undercurrent of his bubbling nerves.

“I know we don’t have long…I’m sorry.” She said softly, moving her chair aside to make room as the young woman came out of the restroom, casting no more than an uninterested glance at the both of them. The time he had booked off was already coming to an end, and he wished, more than anything, that he had trusted his instincts and bargained for a longer vacation. 

“It’s not…” He started, frowning as he tried to find the right words. He put the cup down and held his palm flat against the table, as though to keep his nerves in check. “I don’t want to upset you.”

“I know…” She admitted, her voice a whisper. 

“I want to do what’s right.” He confessed, realising as he said it that he had come to this conclusion the day before, knowing it was no use to argue with her, and that it would only make things worse. “But I’m not even sure what that means anymore...what it involves.” His voice trembled, and before he could think about how to cover it up, her hand slipped through his, holding it gently across the table. 

“Do you remember, when you first told me you loved me?” She asked. Her voice was melodic and kind but, he realised, without the nostalgia he would have expected. Taking a deep breath, he looked up, locking eyes. “You said you knew when you first saw me that we belonged together...that we were soulmates.” 

He felt a sour stab in his chest at the recollection, understanding that while the memory was a good one, it sounded strange hearing someone else say it. He remembered the way her bare skin smelt of incense and jasmine as he traced a pattern of moles on her shoulder; the comforting weight of her in his lap as he stroked her dark hair. She had been preoccupied with a stray strand of cotton which had come loose from the sofa, plucking at it with her fingers as he spoke, a gentle smile playing on both their lips as he trailed his fingertips from her body to the gentle slope of her nose, stroking it lovingly. He had always found her nose beautiful; more angular and pronounced than he was used to seeing. The words had spilled from his lips; his unselfconscious confession of love bearing no burden on him. She hadn’t answered at first, and he didn’t expect her to. He just needed her to know how he felt. 

“And when we spoke…” She continued. “It was as though you already knew me...like we’d known one another in a past life, and you wondered whether you’d made a mistake the first time, and were given a second chance to make things right.” 

“Cass..” He whispered, shifting on his seat. She made him sound so young, and yet he knew he had spoken those very words. Like the perfect actress; she had memorised them without realising; not knowing she would ever need to repeat his sentiment years later. Subconsciously, his eyes flickered to the place where the table blocked his view of her stomach. His monologue suddenly seemed childish.

“Let me finish.” She uttered gently. “I know you thought I wasn’t listening, and that what you were saying was just some…” Her lips twisted in thought, as though trying to translate the words in her head. “Post-coital daydream.” She shrugged, knowing it wasn’t exactly the right phrase, but would have to do. She ignored the slight flinch he gave, expecting it, and continued calmly. “But I think we both know that with this, we don’t get a second chance to make things right if we fuck up.” 

He fought the urge to explain or justify himself; knowing, frustratingly, that she was right. Instead, he sighed slowly. “Then let me help you. Let me be a part of this.” He squeezed her hand, allowing her to fall quiet. 

“You’ve still got a year left in service.” She said, pulling away slowly. He realised she wasn’t trying to pick fault with his words, but was simply stating a fact. 

“They’ll let me take the time off to be with you when it happens.” He said, not knowing if it was true. He would have to cross that bridge when the time came. 

She shook her head slowly. “If you do that, it’ll get out...your career will be over.”

“Let me worry about that.” He murmured, realising as he said it that it was a real possibility. 

Although they both knew the matter wasn’t settled, they fell silent, taking the opportunity to finish their drinks. He watched her place the empty glass on the tray, her movement distracting him from the wet streak which ran down her cheek. 

“I’m scared…” She admitted, the whimper in her voice drawing his attention to her face. His chest sank. 

“Me too.” He confessed quietly. 

She stifled a sob, trying to keep steady. “I feel like I’ve gone out to swim and the tide’s come in early…” He watched her reach for the napkin which had been placed under the water on the tray, and bunch it tightly between her fingers, twisting it absently with both hands as she spoke. “There’s no rule book or script telling me what I should do.” He didn’t think he had ever seen her so vulnerable but felt the echo of her words in his own chest. “I’m still wondering if I made the right choice.” She looked up at him with wet, brown eyes and his stomach churned at the memory of his accusation, two days before. Gently, he changed the topic. 

“Who’s been paying your rent? Ji-eun?” 

She nodded slowly, almost shamefully, and it made him ache unpleasantly that she should feel the need to be embarrassed by asking for help. 

“And you haven’t told your parents?” He continued. 

“I meant to.” She said weakly. “I just keep imagining their reaction...knowing they told me I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself.” More tears fell, though her voice had steadied, and he felt the humiliation in her words. It occurred to him, for the first time in such stark terms, that he too would have to tell his family, and the prospect suddenly seemed harder than the thought of giving up his career had been. He tried not to let on as she finished, wiping her eyes messily with the torn-up napkin. “It feels like a slap in the face.”

He let out a long breath of air. “It’s my fault too. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.” 

Her small hand was resting by the empty teapot, and he took it in his, meeting her small, timid smile as she gulped back the tears with a snort. 

“Look at us…” She laughed softly. “I always thought I was so grown up. That I was living the life I’d dreamed of as a child.” Shaking her head, she smiled nervously. “But now we both look like scared children.”

He knew she was right; it was though she could see right through him. But, suddenly, there was a strange comfort in knowing she felt the same; that whatever challenges they faced ahead would be navigated with a shared caution. “You’re the strongest person I know Cass.” Taehyung admitted without a pause for doubt, and he hoped that in her silence, she would be able to see it too. As they turned to watch the quiet lull of the street outside, he wondered if everyone felt this way; if anyone could truly be prepared for their life turning upside down so suddenly.

***

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[squirrelly831]

Minseok Falling for a Hufflepuff Harry Potter AU Part III

Masterlist

This is subjected to change. Final part.

Enjoy~

When Sophia woke, she found herself wrapped around Hailey on her bed. She slowly came to as she sat up, clutching her pulsing head as she did. Her eyes were a little sore to the touch when she rubbed off the dry sleep in her eyes. 

“You feel better?” Hailey asked groggily as she sat up. She yawned with a wide stretch. 

“Mhm…”

Hailey gave her a soft smile, “Good. Let me get you some cream to help with the swelling under your eyes.” She got out the bed and headed towards her nightstand, “Do you have plans today? If not maybe we should have a girl’s day? We can go into town or something.”

“Can we do that tomorrow? I’m meeting Minseok at 11:30.”

Hailey’s eyes lit up, “You’re going on a date with him! Finally!” She rushed back to Sophia with the cream in hand, “Then we really need to work out the swelling. Maybe I can hide it with some makeup?” 

Sophia shook her head, “It’s fine. Besides, after last night- I doubt Minseok would think I like him at all.” Her hand rubbed the side of her face as she recalled last night. “Though Yixing didn’t kiss me, in Minseok’s view it must have seemed that way…”

Hailey frowned as she dabbed the cream under Sopia’s eyes. “Then you’ll just have to explain what really happened. That Yixing confessed to you and you rejected him. It’s simple.”

“True… I should check on Yixing though.”

“Don’t worry about him? I’ll check on him.” 

Sophia stood at the entrance of the Great Hall watching as the other students walked past her. Her hand twisted the ends of her yellow hair as she glanced down at her yellow sweater, a gift from Minseok for her 16th birthday, and her black leggings with cuts in the knees. She opted for her starry night small backpack that rested in her hand. She glanced up once more to see Minseok directly in front of her. She jumped at his sudden appearance as her lips twisted upward, “Hi.” 

“Hey” he responded awkwardly. “Have you decided where you want to go?” 

She nodded her head as she reached out and took his hand, “This way!” He stumbled a second as she yanked him forward. She smiled wider and pulled him with her. 

“We’re in Hogsmeade! We’re in Hogsmeade!” Sophia bounced as she got off the train. 

“Careful” he reached out and caught her by the waist just as she took a step on the wet stairs. “With your luck you’ll slip on the snow or something. You’re not cold, right? Why did you decide to wear something so light?”

She turned her bag to show her backpack, “I packed my bag with a heavy jacket and pants if I get too cold. I didn’t know it was going to be the first snow day, but that just makes it so much more fun, right!” 

Minseok released her waist when she made it down the stairs. He followed after her with his hands in his pockets. She hummed happily as she stepped in the few layers of snow. She shivered as a squeal left her lips. He smiled as he watched her gaze down the main street in excitement. “People are going to think you’ve never been here before, ya know?” 

She turned to see a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. “I can come here a thousand times and still feel like it’s my first time.” She skipped further ahead as she looked around the area. Sophia glanced back to Minseok who shook his head at her childlike happiness. She didn’t feel the awkwardness between them as she had when he showed up at the Great Hall which was a sense of relief for her. “Ready to go to the place of my choice?”

“Lead the way.”

Sophie jumped in her spot in excitement as she stared at the shop before them. Minseok, however, looked at the shop in disbelief. “Here?” Without missing a beat, she nodded her head fast. “But this is for couples.” She nodded again. “We’re not a couple? And what about Yi--”

She waved him off. “We’re a couple of friends” she grinned earning a did you really just say that. She let out a huff, “I waste all my good jokes on you. Baekhyun would have laughed. If you don’t want to go in with me, I can ask Baekhyun to because Damien would never agree to come here either.”

Minseok’s nose crinkled at Baekhyun’s name. He took her hand, “Come on, then.” He dragged her inside. 

Once inside, the two made it to a table, Minseok pushed out Sophia’s seat before he took his own. “Why did you want to come here of all places?” Sophia pulled off the yellow sweater that rested over a white blouse as Minseok shrugged off his coat. 

“I like that blue on you” she commented. Sophia’s attention turned to the teapot as it moved on it’s own, “I wanted to come here once before you go and graduate.” Her eyes twinkled as she took the teacup off it’s dish. She dropped a couple of sugar cubes and stirred as she tried to hide the blush on her face.

Minseok’s eyebrow rose, “You wanted to go somewhere with me--for couples?” His heart raced with false hope. “What about Yixing?” 

Sophia’s eyebrow twitched, “What about him? He’s just a friend.” Her voice was low as she spoke. She glanced up at him with an unfamiliar look in her eyes, “I might as well just put this on the table. What you saw last night--what you think you saw didn’t happen? We didn’t kiss or anything…”

“Oh, okay.”

They fell into an awkward silence as the chatter around them took up the space. Sophia looked out at the window as the new snow fell, “Can you believe it’s been 5 years since we met?” Minseok looked at her as she spoke. Her shoulders shook as she let out a chuckle, “I was such a mess when we first met.”

“I didn’t think so” the words left his lips before he could stop them, “I think anyone in your boat would have felt the same way. Yixing was pretty panicked after his sorting. Except he tried to sleep through everything thinking it was just a dream.”

“I can see that!” She laughed, “He’s kind of an idiot like that.”

“Yea…”

The two caught up with each other’s week and brought up things in the past that made them laugh. However, she couldn’t bring herself to talk about the night before and each time Yixing’s name entered the conversation, they fell into an awkward silence. Sophia took a bite of her cake. “What will you do after you graduate?” She asked. Her eyes looked from her cake to Minseok. 

Minseok cleared his throat, “I was offered an apprenticeship in the Ministry, so I’ll be going there. I still have some months before that happens though. They wanted to start it before I graduate so I can get accustomed to the job.”

Sophia smiled softly, but the lingering sadness was in her eyes, “Yea, of course… I forgot about that.”

“Though, you still have two more years, what will you do?” Sophia went quiet before she shrugged. “No idea?” 

The conversation from the day before dredged up from her memories. The heaviness set in once more, “Well, I do, but it’s not anything too crazy and cool.”

Minseok chuckled as he put his head on his open palm, “Tell me.” His smile faltered as he noticed the change of her hair, the yellow turned a slight green before fading to a pale blue. His brow creased as he looked up at her face. She stabbed her cake not looking up from the sweet in front of her. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s--”

“I want to be a florist… There, happy?” 

Minseok gave her a confused look, “Like Professor Longbottom? A herbology professor?” 

Sophia let out a sigh, “Nevermind. Forget it.” She shoved the cake piece in her mouth as she remembered the letter she had received from her parents encouraging her to continue her studies in the wizarding community after she graduated. How Yixing, though a muggleborn like her, wanted nothing more than to remain in this world of magic unlike her who wanted to be normal. 

Minseok reached over the table and took her hand in his, he met her defeated looking eyes. “This is your dream, right?” She nodded, “Then I want to know about it. Please?”

“Before--Before I beca...well found out I am a witch, my dream was to own my own flower shop. It’s still something I really want to do.” She looked down at her tea, “When I used to go home after school, I practiced flower arrangements with my grandmother. She used to be a florist too and like her, I love making people smile with colorful flowers or a bundle of roses.” Sophia played with the ends of her yellow tipped ends, “She had customers from every neck of the woods come to town just to get her flowers. All were grown in her own greenhouse and it was like a real fairy garden. It wasn’t just some greenhouse with rows of flowers in planters, but an actual garden blossoming in their own safe haven without the stress of mother nature’s violent weather.” A darkness filled her eyes as she swallowed hard, “But then… grandma died. It was only a couple months before I got my letter to Hogwarts. She was healthy, so I didn’t understand it. She rarely took medicine, only if she was really sick, but one night in her sleep, she had a heart attack. No one was there to help her… My parents sold the shop and I had never felt so much anger. I snapped and when we went to hand the keys to the new owner, I just glared at the store wishing it would burn down. All of it. Not a bit to remain. And it did. First it was a spark then the flame grew and it consumed all of my grandmother’s hard work…” Sophia let out a spiteful scoff, “I got my wish and I hated it so much. I regretted it because I didn’t have the magic of grandma’s shop anymore. I couldn’t walk past it when I went to school. I lost the very thing that made my grandma her.” 

“I don’t know when I decided to be a florist, but I knew even when I came here to Hogwarts that I wasn’t going to do anything but be a florist. I honestly don’t want to have a wizard job. My parents weren’t happy when I told them. They think I should try to get into some job in the wizard community because I excel so well, so does the Head of my house. They’re so insistent that they want to bring Headmistress McGonagall into a meeting with me. I know you wouldn’t get it, but I kind of miss the simple muggle life I had. No one seems to get it, not even Yixing...” She stared off out the cafe window. “Then again, if I didn’t have magic, I never would have met everyone in my house and of course you.” Sophia turned and flashed him a smile, “I’m glad I met you, Minseok. I wouldn’t have given that up for anything.”

 Minseok suggested a change of scenery and they left the cafe. He led them out of the town of Hogsmeade to a hidden spot that looked outward to beautiful snow capped trees and hills. “Are you okay?” Minseok asked. 

Sophia nodded as she opted in wearing her heavier jacket and let out a breath of cold air. “It’s so quiet here.” She crossed her legs on the bench before she looked at Minseok, “Thanks for coming out with me” her eyes mirrored the smile on her lips. 

Minseok wiped off the snow before he took a seat beside her. He thought for a moment as he looked out at the snow, “I may not understand how you feel about magic. I grew up around it as did most of us. It’s part of our life as it is part of yours now.” He pulled out his wand and held it loosely in his fingers, “I don’t think you have to decide on one world or the other to be part of, it’s not a choice you have to make. Just like my family. My dad can’t use magic, but he enjoys watching my mom and I using it. He loves soccer, but ever since he discovered Quidditch it’s one of his favorite sports to watch. He’s a muggle living in a wizard world.” Minseok smiled at Sophia as he spun his wand in hand. “I think your dream is great. And so what if it’s not a wizard job. That doesn’t mean you’re just  going to stop being a witch if you don’t get into the Ministry of Magic or something.” 

“I won’t stop being a witch…” she mumbled. “I never thought about it that way… I always felt like I had to pick one or the other, but I don’t.” She bit her lip as she thought about her florist dream. A droplet of snow fell on her cheek causing a shiver down her spine. She looked up to see snow once again descending from the sky. 

Minseok chuckled, drawing her attention to him. “You have snow still on your cheek.” He reached out and brushed the snow only for more to fall in her hair and lashes. She let out a giggle as the coldness seeped into her lashes. Minseok watched her reaction as he leaned closer to her. His finger traced her cheek as his eyes never left hers. Her giggle subsided as she watched him at a tantalizing pace. Minseok’s eyes shut seconds before his lips descended on hers. The hand on her cheek dropped to the side of her neck to draw her closer as they kissed. 

Sophia’s breath faltered before she kissed him back. Her pulse picked up speed as she chased after his lips when he tried to draw back. Her hand held onto his arm as he deepened the kiss. His tongue traced her lips and she willingly let him in. The snow kissed their face as their lips never parted. 

It had been a week since Sophia and Minseok kissed. Sophia ran through the corridors ignoring the calls of prefects and professors alike who told her to stop. She saw the Great Hall come into view which made her pick up speed. She rushed inside and scanned the Hufflepuff table to see her friends gathered together. Sophia sprinted to their area before finally slowing down.

“Bloody hell, why are you running so early in the morning?” Damien hissed, “It’s too damn early for all that.”

“Is something wrong?” Chanyeol asked as he looked up from his cereal. 

“No, not wrong! Great! Like super great!” She glanced around the table and noticed one friend was missing, “Where’s Minseok?” She noticed the tension in her group and looked about, “What’s wrong?”

Her friends looked over at Yixing for an answer. “Oh hells” Hailey tsked her eyes red with rage. “Yixing and Minseok got into an argument a moment ago and Minseok stormed off.” 

Yixing nudged Hailey in the side, “Shut it.” His eyes were darker than usual as he glared at Hailey.

“No, what you said was rude and out of line. Minseok was there for you from the moment you entered this school” she snapped. “We may not be muggleborns, but that doesn’t mean we don’t understand what it’s like to be different. We’re mostly half-bloods in this group minus Baekhyun, Damien, and Chanyeol. We were raised in muggle communities.” 

Yixing clicked his tongue, “You were still raised with magic, people like Sophia and I weren’t. You wouldn’t ever understand or be at our level.” His eyes narrowed, “Every single one of you have been spoiled growing up in this world. None of you could understand what it’s like being a muggleborn. Having no magic in your life, having part of your life taken from you before you were even put on the earth only to have it suddenly show up and wreak havoc in your life.”

“Yixing!” Sophia hissed as she glared at him.

Hailey slammed her hands on the table, the echo drew a silence in the already nearly empty hall. Her eyes bloodshot as they watered with tears, “Yea? My dad raised me alone because my mom was tortured by another wizard until she broke.” Hailey’s jaw clenched, “Now she lives in St. Mungo’s like some mindless zombie and I was 3. I didn’t grow up with magic” she growled. Yixing’s glare lessened as his mouth moved like a fish out of water. Chanyeol stood and touched Hailey’s arm, but she swatted it away and took off out of the Great Hall. 

Sophia’s head whipped back to Yixing as her bright red hair hung down her back, “I don’t know what your deal is, but cut it out.” Her voice shook, but the coldness remained. “If this is about that night, drop it. You’re about to lose every single one of your friends. I get it, I hurt you. I’m sorry, but I can’t just fall out of love with Minseok and love you.” She sucked in a breath as she tried to calm her anger, “You need to apologize- to everyone. But especially, Hailey. She didn’t deserve that.” She stormed out of the Great Hall with the others close behind while Yixing sat at the table alone.

“Found you” Sophia whispered in Minseok’s ear as she wrapped her arms around his abdominal from behind. He jumped at her voice, his head turned to see her resting her chin on his shoulder blade. “You can be a bit of a pain to track down during the day, I’m glad your nighttime hiding spot doesn’t change.” She pulled back from him and leaned on the rail of the Astrology Tower. 

Minseok shrugged, “I had a lot to think about, so I wanted to be alone earlier.”

“And,” she paused, “what about now?” 

He reached for her hand and held it in his own. His thumb caressed the back of her hand, “I want to be alone--with you.” His eyes met hers and his hand tightened around hers. “Yixing was right…” He pressed his other hand to her mouth as she was about to respond, “Just listen first.”

“Fuuummm…” She muffled under his palm.

He pulled his hand from her mouth as a smile crept on his, “What Yixing said isn’t wrong. I grew up about magic and learned a couple of incantations before I got to Hogwarts. My mom taught me all that I know, but you didn’t have that nor did he. You probably had things happen around you that you just couldn’t explain and brushed it off.” Sophia’s head tilted to the side as she pointed at her hair with a knowing grin. “Minus the hair, jeez” he chuckled. He moved closer to her as he touched her hair, “I know there are parts of the world that are still new to you, just like parts of the muggle world are still new to me. But I want to show you all the things you haven’t seen.” His fingers twirled strands of her pink hair around, “When I saw you and Yixing together that night, I had all intentions of letting you go and just staying your friend. I thought you two were perfect together as you two had the same type of past, you two understood each other so well. But, after going to that gaudy cafe, which I’m never going to again mind you, I realized that I didn’t want to just hand you over to him.” His finger traced the bottom of her lip, “I care about you. I love you and want to stay by your side. If you want me to at least.”

Sophia stared up at Minseok and smiled softly. She bit her lip as she tried to keep her eyes on his, “You can stay by my side only if you let me show you part of the muggle world you still don’t know.” 

Minseok’s smile grew as he leaned towards her, “I would love that.” Sophia met him halfway as their lips came together. Sophia’s hand held his face as his hands wrapped around her waist to draw her in. Sophia tilted her head deepening the kiss as Minseok slipped his tongue into her mouth to seek out her taste. 

Professor Longbottom nearly dropped the water can in his hand in surprise as he gave Sophia a bewildered look, “What did you say?”

“I want you to teach me more about herbology. I plan to open my own store where I can sell flowers or make herbal medicine for muggles. While also growing herbs and magical plants for witches and wizards to make potions and medicines.” Sophia grinned, “I was wondering if you could teach me more than what I’d learn in my classes, if that means I have to take extra classes with you I will, but please! Can you teach me?” 

Professor Longbottom grinned widely, “I can teach you everything I know! I’m always happy to share my knowledge of plants with you guys. Especially if you want to use it to help others. How can I say no?” 

After making arrangements for extra classes, Sophia pranced out of the greenhouse feeling overwhelmed with excitement. Outside the greenhouse, Minseok stood across the way waiting for Sophia. He looked up at her and laughed, “Your hair is super orange. That must mean you have some good news.”

Sophia ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck, “Good news doesn’t even cut it! He said he’d teach me!” 

Minseok wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as he spun her around, “You’re a step closer to your dream! I’m so proud of you.” 

“It’s all thanks to you, Minseok. Thank you for helping me reimagine my dream! Now I can make people smile and still help out in the magic community. I love you!” 

Minseok’s grin widened as he pressed his lips to hers, “I love you more.” He whispered before he kissed her again.

-Moodboard and writing by: Squirrelly831

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