#and on the drive there they hit SO bad
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i would love to stop having cramps that'd be so cool and sexy
#yesterday i had dinner w a friend i hadn't seen in a while#and on the drive there they hit SO bad#i took a bunch of ibuprofen while on the road and it seemed to finally work by the time i got there#but then later when i got home they came back and i had to sit with a heating pad from like 11 pm-1 am#and now they've been back again just at like a low annoying level for about an hour#tranquilize me please ❤️#bri babbles
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Anger is such a normal part of recovery, and I wish it were normalized. I think it is genuinely harmful to depict recovery as this era of your life that only sets you free and makes you euphoric, and there will never again be a cloud in the sky because you have Ultimately Healed.
It's the fucking opposite sometimes. Recovery can feel violent, because the things you are recovering from are often (though not always) violent. It is so common to feel white-hot rage, grief, catharsis, elation, numbness - in essence, a whole host of emotions that aren't pretty, or aren't simple little categories to be neatly boxed and sorted and understood by the "normals."
Those recovering: Your emotions are real, and they aren't bad. You aren't a bad person for how you are processing and healing. You, however, aren't alone. You are doing so fucking well, no matter what it is you are healing from or for. I genuinely hope you can be proud of that.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#recovery#the first time i actually *let* myself feel anger and rage was truly the point i felt free#because throughout my time trying to recover i was TERRIFIED and HORRIFIED that i could feel those Bad Emotions#and that rage hit me suddenly because i couldn't hold that anger in anymore#it's almost funny to me now though#me driving: 😀 || my brain: I Am So Fucking Irate About [recovery thing] I Never Deserved That || me: 🤬#i know for a fact that i have talked about this but i quite literally still need to talk about this
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I was so distracted by the Bentley playing Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy as Crowley raced back to the bookshop this season that it didn't occur to me that we'd been in this position before.
Spat with Aziraphale?
Check.
Threatened by demons?
Check.
Rushing back to the Bookshop with the Bentley playing something overly romantic?
Check and check.
Friends, it is ENTIRELY POSSIBLE that Crowley was having major flashbacks to the bookshop burning and Aziraphale being gone, which is why he was setting new records for the drive through central London. Maybe everyone else already thought about this but I didn't until right now and I am not ok.
#i was just gonna make a nice little parallel gif of Crowley driving the Bentley#and then this hit me like a cartoon anvil#and here we are#good omens#good omens s2#good omens parallels#good omens meta#noticing things#crowley#he needs a break so bad#and a hug#good omens screencaps#screencaps#good omens s1#the Bentley#a duck talks
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i know that atsv and spiderverse in general is probably not including Gabe for various reasons and therefore when Mig took his alt selfs place he wasnt actually leaving anyone behind. he said something along the lines of “i found a universe where i was happy” which kinda screams that something was fucked up with his home one, i’d like to think more than usual because the other explanation is that he just left like all his family behind. Which is extremely messed up but also on the other hand a little funny
like imagine being gabe here. Imagine your older brother fucks off to another universe because of his depression and comes back with even worse depression ranting some shit about canon events. You have to be told where he went by his AI because god knows your brother has all the communication skills of a rusty spoon. Have to be told he fucking left with no intention of coming back
#spiderman#sm2099#miguel o'hara#gabriel o’ hara#miguel#like i never expect gabe to be in anything honestly hes my little guy but sm2099 adaptations hate him sometimes#not even going to start talking about the other sm2099 supporting characters but#the idea of gabe just. having his brother fuck off but then also come back with more issues. drives me insane#and you fuckin KNOW this guy would barely communicate a thing gabe would have to bully half of it out of mig and get the other half from lyl#but also. since i mentioned supporting cast. if kasey and hobie ever met its fuckin over for everyone#sm2099 brainworms hitting me so bad since atsv#in atsv they would be even more dysfunctional than their worst comic moments#atsv#silly little textposts#please feel free to ignore this im just obsessed with messed up sibling relationships#Mig comes back to “welcome home cheater” on every wall of his apartment#atsv spoilers#<- SORRY I FORGOR
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the thing is I have no idea how to put it into words but dally loves about as hard as soda does. just in a very different, very specific kind of way. soda loves everyone at first glance until it’s proven a mistake and dally loves only a few specific people so much it kills him.
#dally winston#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#I’m so fucking tired rn someone explain this for me. it’s in the thing with Sylvia and how he talks to Johnny driving back from dairy queen#it’s in how dally has and would’ve hit ANYONE for talking to him how he did at the drive in but not Johnny. never Johnny#it’s in his delirium after the rumble (how he hits & slumps against the wall begging Johnny not to die)#it’s in calling the gang for help knowing he was going to die anyway because he’d already been shot#but he didn’t want to die alone so he called them so he wouldn’t have to#it’s in how the only thing he does honestly is working with horses.#it’s in ‘you’ll die of pneumonia before the cops ever find you’#i just ugh. the phrase ‘hood with a heart of gold’ embodies him so bad#johnny didn’t have anything but the gang who loved him unconditionally; dally didn’t feel like he had anything but johnny because for him#the gang’s love WAS conditional. or so it seems sometimes. he was an outsider among outsiders and you can tell by the way pony talks#about him in the book. they were all a little scared of him. he wasn’t *quite* the same as the rest. it might be unconditional if it came#down to it but dally hadn’t lived a life where he could risk it.#my post
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in regard to the icemav convo about american made cars: I think it would be funny if after mav gets his regular license, ice buys him a truck that they can use for transporting stuff to the hangar and when he gifts it to mav all the man can do is laugh bc stamped across the ass is MAVERICK. It’s a 2023 ford maverick (in area 51 bc I’m partial to that color)
and mav likes it, but he doesn’t love driving it bc it’s so big (and he just likes being a passenger princess too much), so ice drives it mostly which inspires a whole lot of jokes about ice liking having maverick’s name stamped on his ass. bradley gags from the other room every time.
if it matters to u, i agree with this hc 150% on rhetoric grounds. thank god for your mind.
however i would like to raise the issue that recent american pickup trucks have become non-useful, overexpensive, and suburban-coded in a way i think ice and mav would reject. the ford maverick was built with the intention of dropping kindergarteners off at school, not of actually doing hard labor. see below infographic for what I mean.
It’s a fucking travesty. Trucks are so ugly and useless now. the maverick is not immune to this. (maverick below)
what good is having a fucking truck if it can’t even hold two REGULAR ASS BIKES in the bed. & when the bed is empty the chassis is unbalanced in a way that leads to more accidents etc. (tbf that was true in the 70s/80s too but im feeling more hateful towards modern trucks rn). In short—the modern American pickup truck is no longer useful, it’s a way to virtue signal to other Americans that you *think * you know what hard labor is, even when you’re driving around in a glorified odyssey with a teeny tiny bed that can barely hold a couple bags of mulch for the back garden
ice & mav don’t even have any little kids anymore, i think they’d consider a backseat useless & a waste of space
SO i would like to offer you a Compromise, which is that ice & mav buy either (or both) a 1974 ford maverick AND/OR a 1990 ford maverick
for the Funny Name & coolness factor (& the “making Bradley vom cause of how cute his parents are” factor), and then soup up, like, a 1984 Chevy C10 for actual towing/hauling purposes.
#*slaps roof of 2022 ford maverick* you could hit so many grade schoolers with this bad boy#the 1974 ford maverick is. admittedly extremely sexy and i am only kind of a ford guy#god the 1990 maverick too. just kind of beast mode. i can see that.#love the ask though. i hope you don’t mind my tweaks. we’re on the same wavelength#my vitriol for the modern american truck stems from my hatred of my grandfather’s 2020 f250#which he has never used to tow anything once and constantly complains about how hard it is to find parking in suburban california 😀#yeah brother no shit!#the one cool thing about new trucks is you can use them as a generator for a few days though#we lose power for days on end where i live during fire season and that truck has been really helpful#but it’s ass ugly and not otherwise useful.#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#bradley rooster bradshaw#asks#mav being a passenger princess has to be canon#a man physiologically built to sit shotgun ❤️#if u get a truck with an actual bed u can drive ur war hero husband out into the desert#& lay out a blanket in the back & make out with him under the stars#can’t do that in a 2023 maverick
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Another new Twister/Near Dark HC just dropped: Jo trying out typical vampire weaknesses to try and repel Severen because while the tornadoes haunt her days he's busy haunting her nights.
She tries the typical stuff: Garlic, silver jewelry, sprays him with holy water, and OBVIOUSLY hitting him with her car doesn't work the first time...or the second 🙄 The whole...consecrated ground thing she tries with some interesting results/consequences but I'm still writing that one hehehe It hits a point where the crew keeps a running list of what they've tried. But FEAR NOT SHE IS A WOMAN OF SCIENCE AND SHE WILL FIGURE OUT SOMETHING!!!
Meanwhile it's the cutest thing ever to Severen and he's just having a great time letting her attempt all these things because watching her struggle is endlessly amusing and equally endearing
Severen: Soooo...what you're REALLY saying is that you're always thinking of me 👀 ❤️
#driving her mad butters Severen's biscuits like no other#meanwhile she is out here fighting for her LIFE#Jo: -hits him with her car AGAIN-#Severen: God she wants me SO BAD 😩#'thinking about them' hours while I tentatively edit the first 'chapter' of the AU
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Iceland was so fucking cool btw
#It's got such incredible landscapes there's just nothing else like it.#Cool history museums too.#The only bad experience I had was the 3km long one lane tunnel which like I was prepared for in theory because I researched the#driving conditions but is still terrifying in practice compounded by the fact that a lot of your fellow tourists don't fucking bother and#are doing stupid ass shit on the roads like not yielding in the side of the one lane tunnel that is supposed to yield.#Thought I was in hell#It's cool how long some of the tunnels are though . I bypassed the biggest one because tolls but hit that 7km one north of Reykjavík that#goes under the ocean. It's just crazy being In A Tunnel for that long#Also briefly passed through part of the highlands on a mountain pass road which was also kind of scary like I'm used to driving on#snow and ice but not with the 40 mph wind and switchbacks and steep edges that you will Die So Badly if you drive off.#I had a great time though I'm so glad I was able to do this
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i have such a love-hate relationship with hold them down. like. i detest the lyrics but i keep catching myself singing the earlier parts because goddamn is it a good song. it’s like. i can picture some of the suitors being like damn dawg is singing so well this is a bop… oh sure spoils and whatever… like its the way it’s so sinister and yet just the way it’s sung is so similar to how scylla’s voice is initially so gentle and purposefully seductive. you let yourself be led in by how sweet the song itself sounds and then the metaphors with it too…. it’s like almost beautifully manipulative. yeah sure we’ll join in this dude’s plots it just sounds like good fun. and it’s so good especially in contrast with odysseus because hold them down is just so slow and flowy. and then in odysseus you have those frequent short sounds in the background that immediately make you think of danger. but in hold them down if you weren’t paying attention you probably wouldnt realise this guy’s talking about raping the queen and killing her son to do so.
#tw sa mention#is it obvious that i’m in yap mode#this song drives me mad everytime it comes on i have to remind myself no. don’t let yourself fall in the trap. this is a morally BAD song#credits to the guy who voices antinious he has such a rich manipulative vocal style it’s really lovely to listen to#jay knew he’d be unstoppable if he was a good guy /j#with my crossfade settings the sound of the arrow hitting at the end is like. momentary. so half the time i forget it happens#hold me down#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga
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snoopy school bus
Snoopy #66
6/12/2024
#this is late bc OHMYGODDDDD I LITERALLY FORGOT TO HIT POST#so there's this one for yesterday and then there's gonna be another in like literally 3 hours for today's one lmao#typed up my caption and tags and everything and then just put my computer and myself to sleep without posting hahahaaha :')#the following tags were all typed up yesterday:#peanuts#snoopy#art#66#snobject#i feel like i shouldn't even be tagging these as art anymore bc WTF is this lmao#this barely even resembles a snoopy#whatever i'm tired! tomorrow is a new day :)#no the lines on the road are still not right for American Accuracy#however dot dot dot i think visually it would look bad if i drew it driving on the right side of the road#too much gray on the bottom#or i'd have to move the bus down from the middle of the image#moral of the story is that driving in the left lane is ok if you're doing it for the aesthetic!
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if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:
don't ❤️
#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!!#popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends#and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it#like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y''#or ''why is fic c even in this poll?''#nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular''#a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3#anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around#and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!!#because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!!#so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers#but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing#and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore#cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST#or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something#don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it#and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses#but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough#ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it#(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related)#gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today#cass says things#fandom problems#wank adjacent
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had an epiphany the other day that in track 5, ichiro’s past came to haunt him and caused harm to his beloved older figure who looked out for him and ichiro was on a war path for revenge
which is exactly what kuukou went thru in fools gold and idk how to feel about it tbh lmao
#this is vee speaking#like on one hand my hind brain’s just going ‘oh brrrrrr m’paralles m’parallels’ lol#but then the other part is just like fighting back the toxicity demons lmao bc i love kazu with my entire heart#but it drives me up a wall that his team name initials are nb the team trademark is a bandana and that he was ichiro’s long lost friend#like i refuse to be THAT ugly about kuukou and the stage LOL track 5 came first anyway 😭😭😭😭😭#but man do i need to get better at divorcing myself from analysing anything kuukou in regards to the stage lmao i get too upset lol 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#tho i did find a different appreciation for og stage kuukou recently lol#like i genuinely despise the stage for taking so much buddhism out of stage kuukou#but for the sake of the adaptation them focusing on kuukou’s violence and letting his callous attitude be a byproduct of his self reliance#is not bad actually lol#like stage kuukou is not a good monk at all lol but given kuukou’s trajectory#they probably just simplified kuukou giving real meaning to his buddhism by making stage kuukou find buddhism lowkey LOL#is what i think the legends era had in store for kuukou lol idk they could have done something completely different#since y’know they’d just be redoing some of track 5 but hit with a bad ass temple laser lmao#i really don’t know what to make of that lol i think!!!!!! i need to stop thinking yeah!!!!!!
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passed thru canada today which was my first time ever in canada. in western mass now
#WITH OLIVE!!!!#9 hours in the car wasn’t too bad with music and podcasts and a call w olive and a w franklin#beautiful hitting the mountains around sundown everything was so verdant and green and golden and then pink for such a long time#and then me and olive walked into town and she got me dinner and a really good ale#sleeping under a wool blanket now#the drive felt so nostalgic
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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we finally got power back around 3pm today (Tuesday) after losing it in totality this past Wednesday night (October 9th) when Hurricane Milton hit Florida, so I finally feel like I can start to return to normalcy in life again, thank god
there's so much to kinda like, Process, and I sound like a nutjob because it obviously wasn't even *that* bad compared to what the people in asheville are still going through. actually weathering the storm is only like 20% of the trauma though, it's the aftermath that really strung me out lol
my personal home didn't get damaged or flooded, thank god, but many of the homes around me took tree fall damage and some of my local haunts and roadways are still partially underwater. shit was no fucking joke! cleanup is going to take months, if not years. it's the nature of taking a hit from a storm of this magnitude but it never feels easy when it happens. the loss of electricity, flushing your toilet with a bucket of water from the bathtub, sleeping in total dark and silence other than a candle flickering, walking around a pitch black house with a flashlight, eating meals out of cans, feeling exposed to the world around you. it's kinda primal in a way?
for me the main issue was the fact that we live in hot-ass Florida, and with the power knocked out my mother insisted on us sleeping with the house WIDE the fuck open at night for air circulation. windows, sliding glass doors, everything. our fenced in back yard did take some wind damage, so part of the fence blew over flat and anybody passing on the roadway beyond the water behind us could shine their headlights directly onto our house. it was just incredibly eerie feeling so exposed like that, especially knowing that criminals take advantage of the power outages because they know they won't be caught on camera. I would keep waking up in the night at the slightest sounds. anybody who wanted to walk into our house fully could have done it. I'm just glad we weren't singled out as a target for theft.
there was also a big issue with the cats being outdoors in the storm aftermath. I was supremely stressed out with the fence being down, because any wild animal, dog, or person could waltz into our back yard and hurt the cats. there was one night where I got up to pee around 1:00 in the morning and I heard a cat screaming outside, and I literally flew out the back door in my goddamn Birkenstocks, ran through the hole in our fence, and bolted AROUND the water behind the fence without falling or tripping to try and find the cat that I thought for sure was being eaten by something. it turned out it was two stray cats fighting near the fence line of the adjoining subdivision lmfao 🙃 and my cats were all safe at my house and patio area. but I didn't know that! you're living in a pitch black world, there are no street lights, no house lights, nothing. no stars because of the cloud cover. it was just me, adrenaline, and a fucking flashlight.
anyway, it's mostly over for me now, and I know I'm lucky we weren't caught up in the freshwater flooding. I just had to vent a little bit and stress how paranoid and anxious a weather event like this can make people. I know many of you have likely never been through a major hurricane in the same way I have never been through something like a blizzard or a tornado, but for empathy's sake. here is my casual testimony lol. fuck global warming dude
#hurricane milton#god I didn't even write anything about the traffic after the storm and how people were aimlessly driving around in the dark#there was NO GAS for days...the hurricane hit Wednesday night and gas didn't arrive at the ports til like Saturday night#my mom actually got rear ended because there were no traffic lights and sombody just. bumped into her. and fled the scene lmfao!!!!#wild west shit out there dude#like yeah our neighbors let us bum an extension cord to power our fridge so all our food didn't go bad but the rest of it....nah#big nah
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cant believe that after driving the car, riding the train, booking a hotel room, having a nightmare, visiting the father in law, visiting a hospital, making a friend, and escaping an assassin, the incomprehensible Horrors™ are back at it again and harder to bear than ever 🐻
#fandom related#malevolent#i feel just like arthur that after having some Normal Time and time w friends and family the Horrors are even more horrifying than before#also How is this man driving. w zero eyes and one arm and one leg. i imagine John is like#slow down arthur! hit the gas arthur! while steering. and arthur is shifting the gear. except that john has no experience in driving#so it would be like someone during their first ever driving lesson. creeping along slowly. being way too slow or way too fast for a given#situation. cops would stop them bc arthur isn't even looking at the road. he is bumping into so many other cars or the curb.#parking like shit. does john even know what the road signs mean 😭 and oscar got into the car w him#maybe he was too busy reading that book to notice. or too enchanted by arthu#*Arthur#if arthur had a white cane he would constantly lose it while falling down holes or trip over it running from the horrors#i think it's been mentioned only 3 times that he can't see. to those cops on the lake to daniel and the butcher has mentioned it#honestly king shit running around blind and w only one arm and leg w the voice of an ancient god in his voice. also they are fucking driving#*in his head#why can't you edit tags on mobile!!? or do i have to update tumbler for that#anyway ever since starting malevolent ive been realizing i should be more grateful for my eyesight. my eyesight is already bad and i need to#wear glasses 24/7. also i have a diagnosis that has a kinda probability of making me blind once im old or smth#i mean eyesight decreases for everyone as they get older right. but yeah. and i v likely won't have the voice of an older god in my head to#help me see. so gotta be grateful now#i should go to bed it's almost midnight but i have to listen to the next episode i need to know what's going on and what will happen 😭#still hoping nothing further will happen to oscar and that he and arthur will stay friends. if you're reading this and you know this won't#be the case. nnnnggh :')
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