#and ofc i used to not be like this i used to be a person people would come to and now it's nothing like that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bloomstream · 2 days ago

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⋆˚࿔ love languages

the main forms of love languages the mha boys show toward you and how!

— includes : kirishima, kaminari, sero, & shinsou (in that order)

　𓂃　♪　𓈒 cw; f!reader strongly implied, feminine compliments used, established relationship, baby, girlfriend, my girl used, fluff fluff fluff, denkis is a little suggestive

𓂃　★　𓈒　a/n: this is like my head canons but in drabble format hehe! sorry shinsou's is short i'm still trying to figure out his charater ;(

⋆˚࿔ e.kirishima - shows his love by overwhelming you with care

acts of service

eijiro's main love language is absolutely 100% doing acts of service for you all the time.

he’s holding the door open for you one second and running to pull out your seat the next, grinning like a dork.

he doesn’t want you to lift a single finger doing something that he can do for you.

it’s the small things: picking up the mail, buying your favorite snack, giving you neck messages, taking out the trash, carrying you from one room to another when you don’t wanna get up.

he thinks you’re the best therefore you deserve the best.

he feels like SUCH a man when he can fix something for you.

words of affirmation

eiji also really loves to receive words of affirmation

even after fighting in a war, eijiro still feels himself having a low esteem.

though your encouraging words mean so much to him. you make him feel like he’s a capable hero. you spend hours in bed tangled up together. you hold him as you tell him how amazing he is. how he’s a strong hero, a great person, the perfect partner.

he’d get overwhelmed and cry as you shower him with love. just knowing that you think so highly of him makes me feel worthy. you definitely healed the little middle school kirishima in his heart.

eijiro might as well be a package deal because he is also amazing at giving words of affirmation. the most supportive boyfriend you could ever find.

goes in the mall dressing room with you to see you try on new outfits, he's paying (ofc). “i love that color on you baby.”

don’t even get me started with him dressing you.. flushing your shoulders with kissing as he fixes the strap of your top, every touch making you feel euphoric.

kneeling down to put your shoes on, kissing along your leg as he does. “so beautiful.” he praises the ground you walk on.

when eijiro notices that you’re doing good with work he makes sure to let you know! two big thumbs on the side of his face “doing amazing, beautiful!” and makes kissy faces towards you.

⋆˚࿔ d.kaminari - shows his love by never letting you go (literally)

physical touch

you and denki are constantly found with your hands, legs, (or both) tangled together.

chilling with bakusqaud? feet are kicking each other from across the couch. studying for case file? nope, denki can’t focus until his head is in your lap. completely drunk and dancing at a party? denki’s pressed up against you with his hand ghosting over your ass, letting everyone know you didn’t come here alone.

there’s not a single second of the day when his hands don’t snake their way onto your waist or lower hip, doesn’t matter if you're at homework, or anywhere else.

because of his touchy tendencies, you two are always showing pda and he loves it.

denki SWEARS he’s trying his best to be respectful in public, but he can’t help but get addicted to the look on other guys faces when they see you leaning up to kiss him. hes so so proud that you choose to be with him.

but don’t be fooled by the lust! denki can be romantic too; though he forever a dork.

he likes poking at ur sides when he’s teasing you. he kisses your face over and over again when you’re annoyed (until you smile a little).

gift giving

poor denki could be dirt broke, but when you come out of the dressing room wearing a top that perfectly hugs your figure his mouth drops, and his money goes poof.

“it’s so good, let’s get it yeah?” (hes gonna cry to his empty wallet when he gets home)

this prompts a lot of shopping dates which leads to a LOT of matching accessories. matching hats, hoodies, jewelry.

he has a ring with your initial on it he never takes off.

+ plus

denki has u as his lock screen and gives you (his phone) a kiss every morning he can’t sleep by your side.

would tweet: “just fell down to my knees in a walmart parking lot cus my girlfriend hasn’t texted back it been 30 mintues what do i do 💔”

has you and him as his profile picture on instagram and has a highlight of you titled: “my wife (BACK OFF)”

⋆˚࿔ h.sero - shows his love by showing you off

physical touch

he grew up with parents who never left the honeymoon phase, so he knows what it’s like to feel so much love and he knows how to show it. (he also grew up with two younger sisters and an older sister and they made sure he knew the standard!)

so hanta is a romantic confirmed!!

he’ll buy you a big bouquet of flowers. buys you gifts, even for small anniversaries/celebrations. slow dances with you in your living room. prepares a warm bath for you when you're stressed.

and although he’s more mature than denki, hanta still pretty immature. so, he’ll jump at you any opportunity to get his hands on you.

hanta loves when you two are hanging out with friends, sitting on bakugos couch, and he has the chance to wrap his arm around the top of the couch. he possessively hovers his hand over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him whenever someone looks your way.

hanta is taller than you and always uses this to his advantage. squeezing your face when you look up at him. leaning down to give you kisses. holding your side to guide you through crowds.

occasionally, you’ll let him pick you up from your armpits like a cat and dangling you. you don’t know why he likes this; he just does.

words of affirmation

now one of hanta's best qualities is definitely his confidence and the way he talks to you confirms that.

he reassures you without even meaning to. hanta can tell when your down and easily finds the perfect comment that makes your cheeks flush pink and your dopamine levels boost. “look at that,” he practically purrs when you finish an assignment “done already cariño? making me look bad.” he laughs, not caring who hears him.

(quick mention that he also loves to make you laugh; he prides himself in it actually)

showing you off, showing you off, showing you off. everyone knows who the pro-hero cellphane is dating, it's hard not to.

“yeah, that’s my girl.” he says it stern, with a smirk on his face. it drives you INSANE.

⋆˚࿔ shinsou - shows his love by keeping you around

quailty time

it took a while for hitoshi to open up but when he did it was overwhelming for him. he thought wouldn’t be able to express his love for you. he soon realized just being in your presence was enough.

you love spending quality time with hitoshi. it doesn’t matter what you're doing, he wants to be there. doing chores together, planning your monthly schedules together, talking walks together.

hitoshi loves to hear you talk and learn more about you but he just loves to hear you laugh.

he likes teasing you like there’s no tomorrow with stupid jokes and stupider insults just to see you laugh over and over again.

physical touch

but once hitoshi gets comfortable, once he gets confident: he also gets cocky and handsy.

comes up to you and whispers in your ear, “come on, can you do it for me, baby?”

favorite cuddle positions is spooning and honestly doesn’t mind whose big or little spoon.

he holds you by the waist as he looks up with you with those eyes.

hitoshi is a jealous guy. he knows you’re fun to be around, he knows you have friends, and he knows it’s wrong to think this, but he hates not being with you.

but he also knows that when you get home, you’ll lay in his arms agains and it’ll be alright so he’s patient until he can hold you again.

holding you from behind when you’re leaving to go out with coworkers. he’s kissing your cheek, “‘m gonna miss you. be safe,” gripping onto you like there’s no tomorrow.

once hitoshi learns to love you he never lets you go.

+ plus

he found that he likes to share his clothes with you and finds it funny that you practically drown in his hoodies.

when you give his hoodie back, he puts it on and smiles as the smell of your perfume fills merges into his skin.

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liekjevenderheurn · 2 days ago

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We don't shift to another reality after entering the void (unless intended for reality shifting ofc)

This is my personal belief, I am open for discussion in the comment section and in my dms, but stay respectful pls🥺

Now let me explain my reason for thinking this.

Now unless these void posts are all fake successes, I think going to the void does not necessarily bring you to a new reality since I have been following people on here and after some time, some of them said they reached the void (how can I read this if they are in a different reality?).

Besides this, I think that the void is the ultimate source of everything. Therefore it is also the source between all realities and you can just manifest things for your current one. YOU ARE THE BOSS. You get to decide everything, including in which reality what happens.

(These were my main points incase you do not have time to read the whole thing)

Like in one of my other posts, I have experienced people manifesting for me or even that I would text them. That this worked for them on me honestly blowed my mind, but there was also this account that I followed with this post. Now I saw she asked for this, someone gave her the sigil, the manifestation worked and we were still in the same reality for me to see that it worked.

I know some people believe we shift every second when we make a choice, but my quantum physics of high school explained it was not really about us humans making different choices but the molecule parts acting randomly (which could create different realities but this is ofc impossible to prove). Besides this, like if I want ice cream I always take the lemon flavor over the chocolate because I like it more, your choices are based on who you are and your past experiences. Choices that you make do not have a 50-50% chance.

Looking at things Ive learned from being in the shifting community, unless you succesfuly permashift, you will go back to what they call your cr (current reality). I believe you go back there because you still have some attachments to it, this is also a reason why I think for the most time you stay in the same reality.

Anyway, it is really difficult to prove anything so take this with a grain of salt, this is just my perspective :P.

PS: this is also a reason why I believe that the void state pact could work and is not limited by shifting

Have a great day❤️

Small update on 23-01-2025:

I made this post after being called thoughtless again for my pact idea. Now I wanted to show people my perspective and why I thought the shifting realities is not the thing that happens when you manifest (actually, I really just wanted to prove that I am not unbelievably stupid and thoughtless hahaha). I have my reasons which I am trying to explain in my posts and it is alright if you still hold on to your belief, but there is no need to attack anyone for having another one.

Now besides the comment section, a few of my friends dm'ed me with some new perspectives which I thought were beautiful:

This was based on research on beliefs in the older days.

There are many spiritualists on youtube who talk about this, everything and everyone being one.

This was based on Neville Goddard and other Neville Goddard succcess stories.

A lot of you have seen also the posts of where the creator does believe in shifting your reality. There are many different opinions on reality which are hard to prove, yet a lot of them are valid. Again, I'm just sharing my perspective, you get to decide what you believe:)

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ttheggrimrreaper · 2 days ago

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Hello hello, can you write first meetings with Otoya, Shidou, and Barou

(I love your writing so much hugs and kisses you to oblivion)

Ofc I can!! Thank you thank you!

Masterlist

First meetings

Otoya, Barou, and Shidou x reader (separate)

Takes place after the U-20 match

Otoya Eita

After the blue lock U-20 match, you had been in a rush. Watching it live as a gift from a friend, you never were super into soccer, but if soccer was like this all the time, you might have to start getting into it! A certain player caught your eye however... White hair with a green streak.. odd hair choice but it suited his face well. After all, he could very well be your 'hear me out'.

"girl, Otoya Eita is NOT a 'hear me out" your friend said as you walked along the sidewalk, "a hear me out is when you are ODDLY attracted to someone, everybody is attracted to Otoya Eita.

"well., I just... His hair?" You shrugged as you sat down, something about him made him seem like a hear me out. But it could also be you trying to gaslight yourself into not having a crush on him. You had sat down at this cafe, it was nice.. large tables. However you and your friend sat outside.

"... Oh my god." Your friend said as she looked over your shoulder.

"what!? Oh no is something on me!?!" You looked from side to side frantically then at your lap. What? What was it!?

"nothing but my eyes" a voice spoke from behind.. a voice you recognized after watching countless interviews of this man.

"on fuck,." You whispered as you looked to your friend with wide eyes. Slowly you turned to look behind you, and low and behold... Otoya Eita stood there, his signature nonchalant look on his face.

"mind if I sit? My name is Otoya Eita." He said, gesturing to the chair. Your friend beat you to saying yes, so he sat.

"y-y/n L/n" you said hurriedly, your friend giggling as she introduced herself in more relaxed manner.

"nice to meet you L/n.. however I must say, your friend is right. I am not a 'hear me out'." He looked to you expectancy, as did your friend, and you just sat there in shock.

Barou Shoei

You watched from the bowling counter, it was a very slow day. One singular person was using the lanes. Sharp hair... Probably a lot of hair gell, who seemed to explode with power whenever he rolled the ball to the pins. The oddest thing was, you could have sworn you had seen him somewhere.

"another round on Lane 3" He snapped you out of your thoughts. You hadn't even noticed that he had walked over.

"umm yeah sure." You said, he pushed forward a card for you to charge, as you picked up the card you saw his name. 'Barou Shoei' you had to stare at it for a little bit.. now you were sure you had seen him somewhere!

"is there a problem?" He asked, leaning against the counter. Eyebrow raised as he looked from you to the card. "Waiting for an autograph or something, because you're not getting one." Rude you thought as you looked back to him.

"I swear I've seen you on TV... I just don't know what show.." you trailed on,, must be an actor if he's that cocky

"..what?" His tone seemed rather offended, you shrugged it off as you charged the card. "I play soccer.'

That's when it clicked. The blue lock vs U-20 match. A close friend made you sit there with them and watch it.. how could you forget, he was so entertaining to watch! Barou, on the other hand was offended, in fact, to make a point he grabbed a pen from your side of the counter and a napkin. Leaving you standing there dumbfounded as he handed you his autograph. With that, he turned and left.

"...what the fuck"

Shidou Ryusei

It was odd.. seeing such a wild player on the u-20 team. Now you had followed this team through alot, each game you watched and merch you purchased.. but this man just something else entirely. Thankfully you would get to meet him a meet and great! Unfortunately Sea Itoshi would not be attending.. you were hoping to get an autograph.

"welcome welcome!" He sang as you stepped forward, pushing your note book forward with the bright pink sharpie.

"hi.." you shrugged slightly. You really didn't care about this player, but you didn't want to be rude. He frowned, not quite signing the note book yet.

"what's up your butt?" He pouted out, much to your dislike. You would have rather gone to Shindo or Oliver.. but here you were... Waiting at this man's mercy.

"nothing, you're just not the guy I was wanting to talk to today." You answered honestly. Why would you lie. Shidou huffed still not signing

"you wanted Bottom lashes Senior? Don't worry I did too.. he owes me his number" he guessed, right on the dime of what you wanted. "guess we can suffer together." He said, finally signing the notebook. He closed it and handed it back you with a smile, and you went to the to the other line for Oliver bewildered.. what an odd man. You didn't open your notebook again, not until you had made it Oliver. Opening it up to the same page to see a number.. and a ,little message from the man before,

'lets meet up, and you can get both our autographs~'

What the actual fuck, you were looking down at the page in shock, mouth hung open.

"It's gonna be worth it." Oliver said with a chuckle, taking the paper and signing it.

#bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #shidou ryusei #otoya eita #shidou x reader #otoya x reader #barou shouei #barou x reader

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fandomflux33 · 19 hours ago

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Fr. If you use the r slur, go have a good long think. I work with intellectually and developmentally disabled teens and so many of them just want to be talked to like people. The r slur makes them into the other and further isolates them from their communities, which is both disheartening to every single kid, and dangerous because IDD people suffer the most abuse/neglect/SA of any population.

The r slur also doesn’t acknowledge the complexity of their disabilities. Relatively few have processing delays (retarded traditionally means slowness), and of those I’ve seen with processing delays, it says nothing about their intellectual capacity or capacity to learn, the diagnosis is just a guideline for teachers and friends that you should wait like ten seconds before asking them a question again instead of assuming they’re not listening to you.

Go make a friend in the IDD community, go volunteer at public events or community day-hab programs. Most IDD people (every population of humans has a percentage of jerks ofc, so I can’t say all) I’ve met so far have been a delight and joy to get to know, even if only in a professional capacity.

In a capitalistic world that focuses so much on maximum efficiency and productivity, it’s nice to listen to a group of people who have to focus instead on how to live a meaningful, happy life, understanding that it may not be worth it or possible to do the things at the rate or how a neurotypical person does.

It’s nice to be in a community who understands that everyone deserves to have what they need, to be cared for, and to have loved ones and fun activities. Some of my students may never have a job or be verbal, but they still (obviously!) deserve good things and we work our damndest to make sure they get them.

Use the r slur and I punch you. Use the r slur and like 2-3 of my students will punch you. Don’t use the r slur.

i know everything 90s/early 2000s is like in or whatever the fuck right now but people really gotta stop casually saying the r slur it’s starting to get ridiculous

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noodle-is-unstable · 3 days ago

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“HeAr mE oUT” and showing a conventionally attractive man, woman, human, human esque thing, anthropomorphic animal, robot, regular animal, etc IS NOT A HEAR ME OUT ILL DIE ON THAT HILL. EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER WILL HEAR YOU OUT ABOUT MUFASA AND SPIRIT THE HORSE AND LOLA BUNNY OFC THEY WILL (I LOVED Lola bunny in space jam oh my god when I was a kid I was like oh my fucking god Lola bunny miss ma’am helLO!!! Gay awakening fr she inspired me to have a crush on a classmate in like 3rd grade and I remember thinking “I wish I was a boy so I could be her boyfriend and hold her hand” then I stole my dads lingerie magazine and I scolded him for reading it and I hid under the dining table and looked at women in their underwear. Seriously how did no one notice I was fucking queer)

Anyway bout to blast my hear me outs that aren’t a lot bc I tend to be superficial and thirsty for conventionally attractive characters. Ahem 😑👓🤏🏻

Mewtwo. Yeah you heard me. The fucking Pokémon. He’s cool as shit and he made good fucking points. He fucking TALKS. He’s just like grumpy bf coded to me no I’m not taking notes.

The Epicurean Paradox. Literally eight lines of philosophical text from Epicurus and I fuck with the principle to the point I would FUCK the principle. DK how I’d find a way.

Curly from Mouthwashing. Not pre accident Curly. Well I mean OF COURSE pre accident but post accident I’d still be saying hear me out (I love that game and I’m not excusing ANYTHING that a lot of ppl seem to be missing from the fucking story. Not spoiling it but literally so many people are missing the fucking point. I’m just saying I WOULD fuck post accident Curly.) ((I can go on for hours about Mouthwashing but I won’t))

Jack from Jack in the Box is NOT a hear me out it is a WOULD. So is Megatron. He’s conventionally attractive. He is a WOULD. Doctor Phosphorus is also a would bc he’s a conventionally attractive skeleton.

This is choctopi on instagram. Like they’re attractive these are would to me if I had to say “hear me out” for you to consider then I’d actually be surprised. Idk how this is a hear me out this is just hot. If I had to explain WHY they are hot… you explain WHY are we friends

Venom is also a would and a monster fucker thing he’s not a hear me out. No I’m not taking constructive criticism on that. But like the person who posted the robot angel named Sunday? Absolutely would. In the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, garage, dining table, in public and at church—

You know I adore you but I need you to chill 😅

In the real world those are valid hear me outs. Tumblr is just a freaky lil hell site of everything fuckers and size kinks

What's kinky to some is vanilla to others and we don't need to shame people

Just because it's an obvious would for a lot of us doesn't mean it's not a hear me out 💖

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pricegouge · 3 days ago

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how we feel about call of duty kaiju horror?

(I’m watching a Godzilla movie tonight so✨)

-🫀

it's the fact that you knew exactly what you were doing with each keystroke that's killing me here

vibrating at a speed imperceptible to the human eye: i feel pretty normal about it.

okay i'm at a low point mental-health-slash-hope-in-the-world wise rn which means ofc i've been thinking about my sweet baby puppy, godzilla, a lot recently. just something about a larger than life monster of our own making come to visit hell upon us that's rather apt, you know?

so originally i was just gonna ramble about that as a response to this - and how easily you could plug an elite squad of soldiers into that formula, make them the focus as they fight back against the kaiju. do it kinda like shin godzilla, maybe, where it's more a procedural than anything to highlight the incompetence of their orders - the us versus them, versus it; where the pieces are government/military officials, civilians, and of course the kaiju. and then bring it back around to what they have to resort to to actually get the job done. trusting the people most effected by the actions of their overhead, and all that. which i'm super into, but knew wouldn't necessarily have made for a good fic. and then beloved @stellewriites did what she does best and seduced me into writing a little snippet after suggesting the focus be more on the after-effects, like a cloverfield situation.

and she was fucking right, but unfortunately that's not what i ended up doing here because i saw kaiju horror and blanked out a bit writing an action scene lmao.

shelling, active fire, hand to hand combat. nothing prepares you for something like this.

hell, even falling out of a hele hadn't been this bad - hadn't instilled within him this fear, just before drop, all kitted out and ready for action. as if anything on their persons could actually defend them from the screeching behemoth below. offense had been unofficially deemed hopeless. not even the stealth bombers had done any good, their blast zones only succeeding in creating more debris, more shrapnel. more rubble to bury the first wave of casualties.

they'd been assured there wouldn't be any more bombing, not while there were boots on the ground trying to minimize the growing death toll, guiding the frantic packs of terrified civilians looking for refuge.

gaz was fairly sure they had told the first deployment the same thing.

it's a struggle not to assess his team, so he doesn't fight it. takes in their expressions as they hang out the open side of the blackhawk, faces underlit by flame and heat. they look grim, worse than he's ever seen them. but cap's voice is still his standard surly growl over the comms when he tells nik to bring them closer to the… thing.

ghost is the only one brave enough to question him. "price?"

"just want a better look," the captain grumbles, as if the scale of it could even allow for some sort of misunderstanding.

"it's a big ass lizard, cap," gaz supplies, unable to hold his tongue as the creature looms closer, nik's steady hand bringing the hele up and over its head, outside of the range of its relatively short arms. "what more do you need to see?"

price eyes him, chill of his gaze turned gunmetal in the thin light. a warning. "don't know enough about it to be fightin' it."

"are we fightin' it then, cap?" soap, borderline hopeful. like he thinks he can save the world with a well-placed sticky bomb, even after everything he's seen.

"you saw what it did in pari -!"

price cuts him off. "might have to. should know more about it."

like it's got an achilles' heel they'll be able to spot while dropping, their flare lights casting a grim red glow over the mountainous mass of plates and scales. they ring it as best they can - a valiant effort to keep their paracords untangled. from each other, from the mess of wires clinging to the skeleton frames still standing. from it. gaz lucks out, manages to draw its head. his flare light casts eerie shadows on the smoke behind it, jagged cuts of spiny bone that reach like fingers skyward, as if to pluck the circling hele from the air like no more than a noisome fly hanging over head. there's a gradual slope across a heavy brow, its face wide-set and surprisingly flat, as if evolution knew it wouldn't be snuffling around in the dirt for food no matter what hellish recesses of the earth it had crawled out of. he sees the teeth first, blanched and deadly in a mouth that gapes slightly, soft pink tissue glinting with drool in the wan, flickering light. the shape of it seems to shift in the smoke, disorienting in its incomprehensibility. gaz tracks the nose - up, in, across -

the eye rolls, a ring of sclera giving it an unexpected humanity. it's beady, the iris the same dark, muddy sort of gray that blends with the rest of its plating. defensive evolutionary traits. against what, gaz did not want to know. it flickers red and orange in the light. alive, wary. a thick nictitating membrane draws back, reveals a depth of color which can't quite hide the pupil - nor the way it dilates, trained on him.

it ducks his head as he falls, assessing just as much as gaz is. he reaches for his gun, automatic, and the ridge of brow above its eyes twitches, lowers. there's a series of pops, loud enough to hear even above the thunder of air in his ears, and then a light flickers to life in its gullet, electric blue and feeble in its infancy.

debrief hadn't mentioned bioluminescence. he decides he does not want to be the first one to find out what that's about.

tipping himself forward, he propels himself faster. his angle widens, brings him around the creature's side a bit, out of its field of view. he follows along its broad flank, dipping past huge, clawed hands which curl as if in disgust as he passes. he pulls his chute somewhere around its hip, tries to plot his land despite his general lack of visibility. he's just settled on a gap in the buildings up ahead when the air stirs, a quick updraft that rocks him where he hangs, sending smoke swirling as something slices through it, maybe twenty meters above the ground. he keeps his eyes peeled for another jumper, cautious about mixed lines even though he should still be well away from soap's position.

but it's not another jumper. he sees it first in the reflection of a busted window, shatter-proof glass left hanging concave in its frame. light catches in it, a sporadic wisp refracting through the crumple points, pulsing with movement. electric blue.

he casts about for its source, finds it off to his right. it slips through the air like a knife, smooth and deadly enough to have him running through a list possible drone types he may have run afoul of. he comes up short, though he wouldn't be surprised to learn they'd resorted to test tech. last thing he needs, though he doesn't start to seriously worry until another one appears, just slightly larger, moving in sync with the first. they arch out and around to his left just as another flickers to light directly before them. again, slightly larger than the last - though maybe a little bit closer to it as well.

the next one is heralded by a quiet humming, low enough he thinks he's imagining things until his feed starts crackling with static. he pulls his cords so he can face it more fully, and the chain of lights whip away from him, circle back behind the creature with enough force to shift the air again, unexpected draft pulling him up, up.

the beast faces him, turned fully with a deadly kind of silence kyle hadn't expected. its mouth hangs agape, faint blue light leaking from between its teeth, painting the surrounding smoke blue until it looks like xenon breath, just as fatal. the aura seems to build around it, and it takes gaz much too long to realize its being backlit, the strange lights gathering behind it until the smoke all around glows blue and white and it bows, sinks to his level with an open maw. the light in its throat crystallizes into a cold white while building in intensity, lock step with the intimidation display climbing over its shoulders, the massive plates there flickering to life, veined with phosphorescence.

he'd be nowhere in life if he hadn't learned to listen - when needed, at least.

suspended as he is, his options are limited. he yanks at cords that do nothing, the air gone so still in the creature's deadly silence that it won't even let him fall. like a vacuum, just waiting for the collapse.

"fuck. shit," he hisses, panic building.

the thing shakes its head, an audible rumble building alongside the deafening hum of static. gaz pulls his emergency release and feels his stomach fall before he does, tumbling away after it with flailing limbs, unable to even right himself into a controlled dive before he's catching his full weight on his shoulder, the composite hull of a hele groaning under his mass before the world tilts sideways once more, flops him onto his stomach where his cheek grinds into dirt and metal runners.

"flare!" a thick accent calls from over head, and kyle has just enough wits about him to recognize that the thick trail of red crawling along the floor of the hele is coming from him. he draws a knee up, hands swatting uselessly at himself in search of the strap that keeps the flare tied to his ankle, smoke filtering through his mask until he's -

it's hard to tell what happens first, the blinding light or the g-force which crashes into the hele from above - pushes it down even as he stays in place, colliding with the ceiling hard enough to knock the remaining wind out of him. alarms erupt all over the dash, the noise of them blotted out by a stillness in his ears, as if they'd been submerged - an immense pressure against his eardrum which stifles even his own pulse.

until it didn't, sound rushing back in a cacophony of sirens and shrieking metal, the creature's roar only drown out by the dull sound of impact and the sudden build of force that follows, glass shattering as buildings shook and crumbled. nik curses, something in russian. flare smoke builds in the cab but it doesn't even matter, not when the debris outside the windshield is so thick nik can't even see the approaching church until he's almost gone through the belfry. he banks right, hard, and gaz has a panicked moment of free fall as the open door he'd already fallen through twice today rolls to meet him and he slips through it once more, fingers barely even managing to catch on the frame before he's falling again, a two story drop into the blessedly bare church courtyard with a winded huff, vision tunneling as he stares up uncomprehendingly at the streak of light that's pierced the sky, the burning after-image of a gale force he simply has no framework for.

when he wakes up, it's to a world on fire.

if anyone is interested in that kinda post apocalyptic world, lmk. i don't wanna do any sort of series here but kaiju are my lifelong hyperfixation so i'm always happy to ramble about this sort of setting :)

#gouge answers #🫀 anon #woof that divider got eaten worse than normal #ah well

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11vein · 19 hours ago

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Hello! 11vein, this is my first time sending you an ask so I hope I am doing this properly! Anyways—

I want to know what inspired you and everybody else in Team 6x11 to choose to set the story of Qualia Automata in Iraq, out of all the Middle-Eastern countries. Like, I know that Carbon Monoxide on your team is Iraqi, but still, my question remains that why Iraq specifically? I’m not Iraq, but I live in an Arab country and, from my observations of cross-cultural representation, countries like the UAE and Iran and Saudi Arabia, as examples, are usually represented more often in stories set in the Middle East. So I was wondering why you folks chose Iraq as the setting for the story of Qualia Automata, and I’ll be glad to hear how you were inspired to do so as well. Tell me all about what brought the team to the decision. Reply back soon, please!

i wish i could say we had an elaborate reason to make QA's story based out of a futuristic iraq, but it was kinda spontaneous haha. we were deciding the ethnicity of tamari and went with iraqi because some of the members knew someone who was iraqi (carbon monoxide) who we could consult for further ideas. this later led to them being added to the team :) i asked carbon for further input: "while i can't speak for why the team chose to make tamari arab initially, i can say that i haven't seen too many experiences related to my specific ethnicity depicted in media, and it's something i've been wanting to work more towards. iraq occupies an interesting place in american culture, i feel; most americans know of iraq ofc and know of the iraq war, but if u were to ask a random person on the street, they likely wouldn't be able to tell u much about the country outside of that. my family had to escape as war refugees when i was extremely little, but i'd very commonly fly back home to spend long vacations with extended family. i'm very intimately familiar with the effects of war, it was fundamental to my development and my identity as an iraqi person. infrastructure was still ruined from bombs dropping, streets were destroyed or not maintained at all, power would very routinely go out and i vividly remember need to grope around in the dark for flashlights and fighting with my cousins for the limited supply of lamps, and that's all stuff that was YEARS after the actual conflict. not to mention all the generational trauma, the metaphorical and cultural scars that war creates that has ruined people and families.the first-hand accounts of war from the perspectives of my mother and older siblings were extremely harrowing.

when i first moved to america, it shocked me how little people knew about iraq, how deeply-embedded imperialist propaganda was baked within the fibres of american culture. a lot of people i'd met were completely ignorant to this thing that shaped everything about me before i was even born, that blew me away.

qualia automata of course isn't ABOUT the iraq war, it's set years afterwards and it was never meant to really reflect any sort of real-world historical events. but i put a lot of myself and my family into these characters, and just by virtue of me being iraqi and helping write iraqi characters, i've seen war refugees from my country comment on how they relate to what's being represented. fayrouz in particular was the character i had the biggest hand in shaping, and she's someone who's deeply-molded by generational trauma, and the attitudes iraqi women had to adopt in order to survive during such awful times being passed down throughout the years. it's the type of thing only other people with these experiences would be able to immediately point out, but i'm always happy when people do

that and i think it's very useful to just write about iraqi people as, well, people. there's a stigma around arabs especially, but like i said before iraqis occupy a very unique space within american culture, so i think it helps normalize these cultures and experiences by just, having characters exist as they are!"

#qna #qualia automata

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spookys1fan · 2 days ago

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Ofc!! There’s no use in denying the fact, the fact that you can say something like before with such ease just proves that you are a beautiful individual at heart!! I hope that any sort of person you meet can see that!! #^ ^#

💗

Phew, finally done with the dod headshots! I definitely had a lot of fun and I loved experimenting with a more cartoony style and brush textures!

I tried to keep their designs based closely to their names and personalities! I did make tsunami a little bigger size wise than clay but she’s definitely shorter and more muscled than him.

I tried to make glory and clay almost iridescent like clays underbelly is described in the books as copper like and I wanted to bring parallels between clay and glory bc I like the idea that they are kinda alike if u know what I mean? And I wanted to give Tsunami fins like a wave of water like what surfers surf on! Like those water tunnel pictures! And I loved giving sunny features like starflight bc she’s a hybrid. I feel like if she wasn’t so unassuming you’d immediately be able to tell she’s a hybrid heheh. And I like to think Tsunami hated when her siblings got hurt enough to take all their “training sessions” with kestrel nearly every time, and continuously challenged the guardian enough that when she did take them kestrel didn’t hold back whatsoever and was constantly nearly permanently injuring her and she required many, many scars over the years.

Well, I had a blast making these and I hope you guys like em! ^^

Love yall! ^^ <3

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ginho001 · 3 days ago

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YAYYYYY I LOVE ALL OF YOUR INHUN HEADCANONS 🤍🤍🤍🤍 I especially love reading the cute traits and habits they have. And of course the omegaverse 👀 is a big treat, I loved it a whole lot thank youuuu. Hell yes to the gihussy and 💦

Now talk to me about how they feel about each other, how they act when they're together, date ideas, things they love doing for each other, and... sexytimes 👀

anon ur lowk my best friend. i'll share my personal hcs below, but before I just wanna plug this fic that in my mind is the closest manifestation to how I believe the two would interact. this author is amazing and every fic they've written for 457 is ART and if you're looking for a great read, this is it pookie ong ong

ANYWAYS ok ok lemme spit (go read it tho if you haven't already on GOD)

starting off with gi-hun, in my mind he's very demure when it comes to the relationship. behind closed doors he likes the domesticity, physicality and romantic gestures. REASONING BEING: i firmly believe gi-hun never would have married if not for societal and familial pressure, now whether or not its bc he's gay or not (i'm personally on the fence abt that) is up to y'alls discretion. but back to the original point: he had a very idealized view of marriage until he actually got married, and something broke inside him when his marriage failed, and in-ho knows that to some degree. I imagine on valentines or some other holiday, they're just sitting in the bedroom together in the dark, and gi-hun quietly divulges he used to do big romantic gestures like this with his wife, even when he didn't have a lot to offer until things got bad in the end, and it makes him SO tender and sensitive in private, let alone in public. HOWEVER i believe this only applies to gi-hun in korea. When they go on vacation or end up going to the US, he's much more comfortable with hand holding and displaying his ring on his finger instead of keeping it on a chain around his neck like he did in korea. THAT BEING SAID. he loves in-ho. in a deeper way than he loved his wife, and he knows it. the trust is deeper, and he's true to himself, which is something that he could never do before without being shamed for how pitiful he was. in-ho accepts him in that pitifulness an out and he loves him for it. the attraction to how handsome he is and his cute little mannerisms come after.

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS LONG WINDED SORRY

on the smaller side, gi-hun really likes in-ho's hair. i think he misses when his was longer, so he's always mussing it up with his fingers.

when not in peril, gi-hun (surprisingly) loves when in-ho makes his shitty dad jokes. he likes that he can laugh with him, feels freer when he does. he knows that between them there is nothing pre-conceived, they know the worst of each other, and gi-hun looks forward to the times coming where they learn the best.

gi-hun can't cook for shit, so he splurges on expensive pastries sometimes, as he learns in-ho has a sweet tooth.

like i was talking about previous, in korea their dates aren't elaborate, they are just colleagues or friends going out to dinner, celebrating something or other with drinks. however when they head to Thailand or the US or wherever else they decide, they do old men shit. sorry, still not that elaborate. they just go on strolls, go sight-seeing, birdwatching, etc. occasionally they get gussied up in purdy suits and go into high rise sugar daddy restaurants, but primarily they are doing old man shit outside of when they are fucking. they smooch and hold hands gayly tho ofc

because i am a generic loser, i side with the "in-ho is obsessed w gi-hun" camp bc a) its true and b) its true so.

i think in-ho's obsession to some degree is fueled by his guilt. we know from HDH he still has some belief deep down that gi-hun is right, and hopes he can prove him wrong in the long run. Thus, his obsession comes from watching every micro-fucking-movement he makes and hyper analyzing like a doofus. he doesn't realize until there's a little bit of separation that there was actually a decent chunk of his hyperfixation that was actually just into him lowkey. gi-hun is different from his late wife in nearly every way save the fucking. stubbornness. hard angles and naivety, but beautiful in his humanity, something in-ho lost when his wife died. he falls in love because gi-hun has enough humanity for both of them, in spite of everything. he brings him back to the simple, past the whiskey and jazz in his sterile habitat back to the noise, something he didn't know he missed.

in-ho likes doing romantic things. bouquets, expensive cufflinks, decorating the kitchen with shitty streamers on holidays, bringing breakfast in bed. at first gi-hun was very "no, no, you don't have to" but when in-ho genuinely, unironically pitches a fit about it when gi-hun carries his breakfast in bed to the kitchen to eat at the table, gi-hun lets him. if he's not bringing him breakfast in bed he's making gi-hun a plate but feeding him off of his.

UHHHH NSFW BELOW THE CUT

these 2 have surprisingly high libidos for their age, and this is not to feed my say gex bias guys trust, its because when they r finally away from the games, their bodies aren't in survival mode and r like "oh i can fuck now" so they r getting it on like at the very, VERY least twice a week.

i am a bottom gi-hun truther. i personally don't see in-ho being willing to offer himself sexually in that way (as in reamed in the ass), which works out well for them because gi-hun gets a lot more out of it bottoming, aka the vulnerability and closeness. he likes when in-ho is right in his face during missionary, sweating and chewing on his lip because at first he is so, so scared of hurting him. they eventually figure out their groove, and gi-hun comes to find out in-ho has a spit-thing. at first he thinks it's a biting kink, but then it starts getting into spit as lube territory, or just sucking all on his neck not even to leave marks necessarily, just to see the sheen on his skin. gi-hun is less embarrassed about the times he accidentally drools thanks to that

they don't be going crazy in any positions bc old men, and in-ho's shoulder is probably fucked up from getting shot, so they're pretty generic. it takes them a wile to figure out gi-hun is flexible for no fucking reason. just one night they fucking missionary, in-ho grabs the thighs, overbalances and BOOM gi-hun's knees are bracketing his fucking head like no problem. ended up being a wobbly-leg kinda night for the both of em

gi-hun is a talker during sex. he's always asking if in-ho feels good, exclaiming his own satisfaction, etc etc. in-ho talks too, but sparingly because he doesn't want to lose control and start grunting and huffing like a wild animal. it still happens every so often though, because c'mon who wouldn't lose their shit if all the sudden you find out you can basically bend your hubby like a pretzel.

sometimes though they'll be tired as fuck but still have a libido, those times they just kinda spoon and hump, not really worried about the mess so much. those are the nights they'll talk real affectionate to eachother, and fiddle with their rings after bc they are married idc what u say.

OK MAYBE i'll share some abo stuff later as bonus, but this is already SO MUCH LONGER than i meant it to be so I will bid y'all adieu.

#457 #gi hun #gi hun x in ho #ginho #in ho #squid game #squid game 457 #in ho x gi hun #inhun #fic rec #457 fic rec #001 x 456 #player 456 #player 001 #seong gi hun #the frontman #headcanon

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kezzamjam · 3 days ago

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Mane Six Redesign! 🌟 + Finalized Cutie Mark Redesigns!

these ponies are the only things keeping me sane during this insane time guys! hope they can help u too if you’re having a tough time^^

Some notes about their designs below if you’re interested! :D

Finally redesigned their cutiemarks! I wanted them to be as intricate as their cutie mark story! I tried to make them match my style as well, cause the originals didn’t really fit too well in my interpretations. these will probably be the ones i use from now on!

Twilight of course has her iconic blunt cut, I think the ponytail suits her straight to the point, sarcastic but loving and fun personality in the first season! her hair will slowly start to loosen into a low tied back ponytail as she learns the magic of friendship :’) if you saw my Older Mane Six Redesigns you can see what I mean! She also has birthmarks around her chest and horn! While marks are seen in Pegasi usually, they are seen in Unicorns in rare cases. When she becomes an Alicorn, creatures mistakenly think she was born a Pegasus.

I feel like Applejack, in her traditional country girl style would have a longer mane than originally! I gave her Pear Butter’s hair texture, and though she doesn’t really know how to maintain it, she keeps it long in honor of her mother. But! she does keep it braided to keep it out of the way. Vitiligo bc I think it would be common among Earth Ponies, supposedly mirroring the way sun dances on the soil.It also is what causes her freckles! Also, I made her hair similar to the shape of a bitten apple! I think it rly suits her as the CORE (pun intended) apple! :p

Fluttershy!! Shorter mane/tied up bc the animals always try to claw and tangle themselves in it. Her silhouette is meant to juxtapose Dash’s, despite their similar design choices! (ie similar length manes, tails, both pegasus ofc) this is to really emphasize the fact that Pegasi come in so many varieties! When people say she should have just been an Earth Pony makes me so sad, bc that’s the whole point! She isn’t your typical pegasus but we love her for it! Multiple pink shades in her mane to mirror Celestia, as many ponies later point out her likeness to her— I also think it’s an interesting point of what exactly is the beauty standard in Equestria! Fluttershy has often been remarked as very beautiful, and I’d like to think her similarity to the Princess is part of that. She also has hoof marks on her! All pegasi do and in rare cases, they relate directly to their future cutie mark!

RARITY MY DIVA !!!! Ofc had to give her the most luxurious mane of all. She has a curly hair type, and is arguably the only one of the Mane Six who knows how to properly care for her hair type 😭 don’t worry! she teaches her friends and it’s wonderful (i wonder who i mentioned earlier that rly needs her help…. 💎🍎…..) I wanted her to invoke the feeling of the original myths of unicorns, with their lankiness and long, flowing white coats. She was actually my first redesign all the way back in august, and the only one i haven’t changed! I love her more than anything.

Pinkie Pie was lowk the hardest for me because of her monotonous color palette 😭 but I didn’t want to change it bc she is simply!!! iconic!!!! I enjoy the designs of the original mane six and just wanted to alter elements of the designs rather then entirely recreate the characters from the ground up. She has very tight coily hair (my poc queen 🤞🤞) and decorates it with her favorite confetti! and sometimes frosting >< Gave her highlights to better see the shapes in her mane. And ofc gave her more blue accents! I think it’s so understated that she has two iconic colors in her palette and no one takes about it

And finally, Rainbow Dash! Dashie was so much fun bc I had such a clear vision for her. I wanted that sweet lightning bolt motif, both cause I think she would have a cut specifically for dazzling up her flying skills, but also to mirror AJ’s hair motifs! (for u appledashies out the ;3) and also because they’re always head to head, but rly they go hoof in hoof together and compliment their softer friends so well. Dash’s scars on her wings are from her first sonic rainboom! She was very lucky to have it heal stinger than before, and was the only filly to ever do so. Her Pegasi hoof marks are actually very plain, which is why she tattooed over them! she had them done is the same style of her cutie mark, and actually got one of her hoof wings tattooed white too. Speaking of her cutie mark, I wanted it to feel like the sonic rainboom really left an impression on her physically, dancing on her coat, forever with her :) it also, to dash’s enjoyment, is rad as heck!!

thank u for reading if u made it this far, and I can’t wait to draw these designs some more!!! x3

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shalomniscient · 9 hours ago

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Building on you dad energy Feixiao hc. Absolutely she was the cool dad once her kids reach above kinder age. However I absolutely belive she was the "Omg Im now responsible for a tiny one wtf do I do?!?!" parent when the child was a baby/infant. I think early parent feixiao channels a lot of 'A little confused but she's got the spirit energy'. Like I like the idea that she's a very talented person confronted with a situation completely out of her usual skillset. Bonus points if her friends or SO teases her about having to "figure it out, like the rest of us mortals" I imagine Yukong got a lot of 3am calls in which Feixiao was overwhelmed or just needed desperate advice because the little one hasn't stopped crying for 2 hours now and doesnt know what to do.

I also hc that Feixiao's first child is a surprise child rather than a planned one, not unwanted, just unexpected. Basically I like the idea of Feixiao channeling a lot of first time parent trying her best energy at the beginning. Also definetly cried after holding the baby for the first time.

being responsible for a tiny creature that can have their life subscription revoked in 10 billion ways is a valid reason for anyone, even generals, to get stressed tbh LMAO in the newborn days feixiao is definitely more skittish than she's ever been in her life. she gets nervous holding her baby, both because she's scared she'd drop them or hold them too hard. it takes quite a bit of reassurance from r that "no, you're doing fine" before she gets more comfortable and confident. during this entire time her senses are also on maximum alert; if there's even a hint of noise from the bassinet at night she's awake immediately. she doesn't have those damn radar dishes on her head for nothing. she's just a chronic worrier, fussing more than r about the baby especially if they have a minor cough or maybe sneeze too often. both yukong AND jiaoqiu have to field a lot of midnight calls from her; i think it gets to the point where jiaoqiu just moves into the estate for a bit sdhjfks i think the worrying can be attributed in some part to her heritage and the pitfalls that come with it, notably moon rage. despite all the stuff with hoolay, it's still not clear if any of it could pass to her baby, which is why she's always on the lookout for any signs.

and ofc that worry extends back to when she first found out r was pregnant. i think feixiao would struggle a lot with it; it'd be difficult for her to reconcile and justify bringing a child into this world who could possibly inherit her affliction. it's certainly not something she would want to pass on. this sort of ethical dilemma is honestly why i see feixiao adopting a kid rather than having her own, but if she finds a resolution for it like maybe the baby being clean of any indicators of moon rage (assuming they were sired post-hoolay) then i see her enthusiastically getting it on with r hskdfhk she wants a whole litter and if the next ends up looking like r? she'll be gunning for more alright dhkfsjdhfk also yeah she 100% cries when her baby is born; doesn't matter if it's the first, the second, or whatever. she's cradling them gently and whispering softly as her cheeks get progressively wetter. she does handle the birth pretty well though, i will say.

#sev.responses #feixiao x reader

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anarchy-and-piglins · 2 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/anarchy-and-piglins/772595793282711552/anything-u-post-in-relation-to-fireworksduo-haunts?source=share

I am begging you to tell me more (whenever ur feeling up to it). I will offer you my bones and third born in exchange.

Keep your bones and children, I need no payment to yap about AU ideas!

Okay so the original AU is called 'Empty Vessel AU', trigger warning for suicidal ideation as part of the premise.

The base idea is that Phil does not stay on the server.

After killing Wilbur, Phil - caught in grief and hurt - takes off basically just as quickly as he arrived. Maybe he doesn't even realize Techno is there too, or maybe he's too caught up in it all to really mind. Phil fully leaves the server. This means Techno does not have Phil's support in the initial fallout of November 16th, which is a negative for his mental health (think the angst arc ccTechno wanted for his character before ccPhil ruined it by being like "hi m8, let's build a house :D" /lh).

Techno does not build the cabins in the Arctic, his base is more like a ravine/hole somewhere. He's miserable, but he stays trucking. At least until the Butcher Army happens - because it still does happen in this AU, just slightly differently than in canon since Phil isn't around. When returning to his 'base', Techno also doesn't find Tommy living there (because Tommy in this AU did not stumble upon Techno when he ran away from exile, since the cabins don't exist).

Now, Techno is the Blood God's conduit, as well all know. The Blood God is basically parasitic in nature, latching onto a mortal to serve as its conduit until they die and it must find a new vessel. The Blood God can control its conduit's body only with consent.

Techno, who is not doing too well mentally after everything that's happened, being treated as a disposable weapon or active threat by everybody, having no friends and only Chat around, etc, decides he doesn't care anymore. He'd do anything to just... not have to think for a bit. Not have to deal with all that's happened. So if the Blood God wants to use its vessel, it can.

Techno 'dies' in a sense.

More accurately, his consciousness goes into a sort of coma - completely senseless and all - while the body is left behind as an empty vessel the Blood God can puppeteer around. This is Not Good because a mortal body is not meant to contain a god so there are some negative effects. Including that the Blood God does not experience hunger, exhaustion, or pain, and it damages Techno's body by being in it. It's a ticking time bomb situation. If it stays inside Techno for long enough, Techno's body will also die.

Also, other people have to deal with an eldritch god so that's fun kekw. The Blood God is a bit of weirdo, but it does latch onto people around it as long as they promise to let it shed blood for them.

The original version of the AU was rivalsduo-centric as mentioned. Dream would have been the first person who ran into 'Techno' and clocked pretty quickly what's going on (it's not exactly subtle) and initially he thinks it's something he can exploit maybe, but then over time he realizes how dire it is and he does care enough about Techno to try and undo what's been done.

Now I'm just thinking of an alternative where it's Tubbo or Quackity (or both?) who encounter the vessel first and have to deal with that whole thing. Would they also be happy at first? Disturbed? Would they feel guilty or nah? And ofc how different it would be for them to try and get Techno back. Throw in other L'manburg members maybe and Tommy? I can assume stuff like the Green Festival would also go very differently in these circumstances.

#technoblade #thoughts #empty vessel AU #asks

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fangirlwithlou · 12 hours ago

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Hope you have a praise kink baby because you has gotten a lot here today ❤️😉

you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup he’d be sure to bring to your bedside, because he’s just that kind of a guy. - aghh this is actually the dream she is so me fake scenarios in your head even before you are dating haha

had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor – you didn’t know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasn’t an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that you’re supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadn’t let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm he’d turn into – maybe they knew who he’d become. You should’ve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him. - I feel like when you highlight the whole text in your text book bc everything seems important when I read this bc I want to comment on everything. First take: You write like an angel this is beautiful, the storm part how you use the word in different ways and it makes so much sense and it is so beautiful! Take 2: I see myself so much in her omg the love she can give but heartbreak makes everything so complicated, why not me and should I give up? One more first date and they are never good anyway 😭 and take 3 omg yes we are in love with rafe he is a baby boy and yes please I need him

“Of course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.” - AGHHH THIS OMG and her favorite foods, he knows her and agh that is everything

“Sweet girl, if there’s anyone you can trust – it’s him.” - Jenny is amazing and yes you can trust him ofc, and they are going out agh. And the whole rafe will kill me haha love it

He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that he’s saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. He’s so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile – pretty boy – your mind spouts out at your gazing. - Them omg stop, this is everything!!

“Good girl. You ready?” - touché yes now we are reaching for my praise kink instead 🫣

Today, we’re a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, I’m gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, we’re going to start over, yeah?” - he is the absolute sweetest omg the way he is just perfect and need to know everything about her 😭😍

just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together. - 😍😍😍

Baby this chapter was everything I dreamed off, amazing and as always painfully beautifully written 🫶🏼 you are the brightest star and I am so privileged to be your friend ❤️

blue eyes + bruises - part six

✯ pairing:

doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader

✯ summary:

a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.

✯ warnings:

mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :)

—

Rafe’s soft hand tracing the freckles on your cheek is what woke you and as you stirred, wincing, as the first of the morning’s pain hit your senses, you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup he’d be sure to bring to your bedside, because he’s just that kind of a guy. Those daydreams had been keeping you going lately, imagining a life outside of what you were living now – outside of hospital filled days and pain and the unattainable doctor at your bedside. You had been starting your mornings with blue eyes a lot lately, which was the main constant between your daydreams and your reality – those days – the blue-eyed days, always let you put your best foot forward and you were thankful that today was one of those days.

“Good morning, pretty girl.”

He spoke softly, careful not to startle you as you were still gaining your bearings from the slumber you were woken from.

“Hi.”

You spoke suggestively, your morning voice poking through, unsure of how sexy he found you as you sat upright in the hospital bed. You winced again.

“Easy, tiger.”

He chastised you softly, pushing your shoulders back against the soft pillows.

“Here, let me.”

He spoke, reassuring you with a smile. You gingerly nodded as he grabbed the bed’s remote control and brought the top half to an upright position.

“What would I do without you?”

You questioned playfully again. Jenni snickered from behind Rafe, watching as you shamelessly flirted with him, you had made that your full time job and you hoped he didn’t mind. You weren’t stupid enough to think he meant the nicknames and sweet words, even though it all felt real, you were sure it wasn’t. The truth was, you didn’t believe in love, even if it came in the form of Rafe Cameron, who you were sure had much better prospects than some girl he met for the first time in the emergency room. You thought about the night of your accident often – so much so that it was consuming your being; some days it was all you thought about and this morning, while you woke up to those pretty blue eyes, was no different. The thoughts were consuming you in the same way that Molly consumed him. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, drowning out the sound of Jenni and Rafe chatting amongst you about the day's plans. You loved them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when all you could see as your rows of eyelashes collided was the pale blue dress that clung to your body as you looked in the mirror one last time before heading out the door. Another blind date. You had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor – you didn’t know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasn’t an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that you’re supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadn’t let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm he’d turn into – maybe they knew who he’d become. You should’ve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him.

“Earth to y/n!”

You heard Rafe chuckle as he waved his hand in front of your face. Your eyes were closed, but you felt the wind against your face as he moved it back and forth. Your eyes flew open and you forced a smile; he could tell.

“Sorry, I was thinking.”

You replied softly.

“What were you thinking about, sweetheart? Is everything okay? Are you in pain?”

His brows furrowed in concern. One thing you admired about Rafe is that he always wanted to make sure you were okay. He was selfless and kind; a golden retriever in human form and you loved that about him. You knew those qualities made him a good doctor and moreso, a good person, a good man.

“I’m fine, I promise. I just got lost in my thoughts. I feel a little weird today, lots of emotions, y’know?”

You replied, giving him a genuine smile this time. He always brought them out of you – by simply just being.

“Will it make you feel better if I tell you I brought you breakfast and that you and I are going to go on a little field trip?”

He looked at you with bright eyes, eagerly anticipating your response and as the joy laced your features, he knew he’d do anything to watch that in slow motion over and over again.

“Is it my favorite?!”

You squealed in question and excitement, already knowing the answer. ‘He remembers things about me’, you thought.

“Of course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.”

He said, placing the chicken and mayo biscuit on the tray table in front of you. You looked down at the orange and brown Biscuit Co. wrapping paper it was covered in. Ever since Rafe had found out that you loved it as much as him, he made it his mission to bring you one at least once a week. He deemed it a treat for your progress in treatment. The words that had just come out of his mouth hit you in the same way your body flying through the windshield of your car had. The assault on all your senses made you freeze and your only response was the blush that filled your cheeks and a soft smile.

His girl? Is that what you were to him – were you his girl? Or, would he be just like everyone else if you were too close to him.

“Now, eat up – Big day today, sweet girl.”

He said, smiling at you – the Rafe Cameron one – the one you couldn’t get enough of.

“What’s so special about today?”

You questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Today is your first day out of the hospital with me.”

He said sweetly, rubbing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You frowned, anxiety filled you. He knew you well enough now to know it would trigger your fight or flight response – hence the biscuit.

“Don’t worry, sweet girl. I’ll be there the whole time – we got this. It’ll be fun. You deserve some fun, don’t you think?”

“I-I don’t know, Rafe.”

You muttered.

“You do. Now, eat up and I’ll go get everything ready for us to go. Jenny is gonna help you get dressed okay? I had her get some clothes for you.”

He promised in return, a wink meeting your gaze before he kissed your cheek and disappeared from the room as quickly as he had entered.

“He’s a sneaky little fucker, isn’t he?”

Jenny blurted out, erupting in a belly laugh and suddenly there were crinkles beside your lashes as your smile met your eyes.

“That, he is – but, you know what he’s up to, don’t you?”

You questioned her, squinting your eyes in her direction.

“I don’t know a thing!”

She gasped, feigning shock as she placed her hand against her chest like you had shattered her heart. You could only laugh at her antics.

“Okay, but, seriously – is this okay? Can I trust him?”

You asked.

“Sweet girl, if there’s anyone you can trust – it’s him.”

Jenny replied, a sweet smile on her face. Your heart clenched at her words and you nodded shyly in response.

She moved around you to the chair adjacent to your bed where a pile of clothes lay waiting for you, quickly gathering them up in her hands before walking around the bed again and helping you lean forward. You aided her as best as you could with your left leg locked straight by the brace it was confined to. She started by reaching behind your neck as she helped you lean forward and gently untying the hospital gown that was draped over your top half. Her hands worked quickly and before you knew it, she was helping you into a bra and placing a UNC sweatshirt over your head. It was oversized and large, accommodating the injuries to your abdomen well. They were healing, but you wouldn’t be back to normal for a while. Jenni continued her work, tenderly removing the straps of the brace and lifting your leg out of it, taking the shorts that Rafe had provided for you and placing each of your ankles before she slid them up your legs as you sat there.

“Okay, sweet girl. I’m gonna put the brace back on and then I'll help you upright so we can pull your pants up.”

She spoke sweetly, encouraging you along the way. She knew how humiliating this was for people, she was no stranger to the reality of that. She worked as fast as she could, buckling you back into your prison before turning your body and letting your legs lower to the floor.

“Put your hands on my shoulders and don’t touch your injured leg to the ground, okay? Rafe will kill me otherwise.”

She joked, but you did as she said and watched in adoration as she manhandled you and helped you stand only on your healthy leg while she pulled your pants up around your hips.

“All done!”

She beamed emphatically at her hard work coming to fruition and just as the words left her lips Rafe entered the room.

“You ready, sweet girl?”

He questioned and you smiled kindly in response, giving him a slight nod.

—

Rafe had packed you safely in the backseat of his truck and he’d gone above and beyond, really. Though, you were sure maybe it was just the doctor in him that had you currently seated in luxury; your back leaned up against the back driver’s side door, a very fluffy pillow well above the regular hospital grade ones you were used to created a barrier between you, the window, and the plastic door handle. Your legs were laying straight out in front of you, the left one elevated by the same brand of fluffy pillow that your back leaned against. Rafe had thought of everything it seemed, you made a mental note of that as you watched your ice machine pump cool water onto the top of your knee.

“How are you feeling back there, pretty girl?”

He asked, turning down the radio and locking eyes with you in the rearview mirror. You gave him a soft smile, though the gravity of this being your first time in a vehicle since your accident weighed heavy on you.

“A little overwhelmed.”

You responded meekly and his eyes softened even more than their usual pouty, puppy-dog-like state, though you didn't even think that was possible prior to this moment.

“I know, sweetheart. Can you make it three more minutes? We’re about to pull in.”

He questioned you and you nodded in return, giving him a kind smile. Though he noticed it didn’t meet your eyes. Exactly three minutes and thirty-seven seconds later Rafe opened the door on the passenger side of the backseat. Your legs are met with the crisp autumn air and for the first time you realize that though it’s only been a few weeks since your accident, the world outside of your hospital room seems to be going on without you, without a second thought about you. Rafe can see how nervous you are in the murky waters of your eyes, so he does what he does best — he provides a distraction. That’s what he hopes this day will be. He hopes this day will give you a tiny fraction of the joy you deserve to feel. He’s only seen glimpses up close, but he knows how special you are. He knows you’re too good for him and far too good for this world.

“Hello beautiful!”

He greets you emphatically and you smile wide at him.

“Hi, again.”

You giggle in response.

“Sit tight, I'll get you out in just a sec.”

He says and you nod, watching him through the small window at the rear of the truck as he lifts the wheelchair from the bed of it and returns to your line of sight again.

“You ready, pretty girl?”

He asks and you nod, scooting toward him with the small amount of muscle on your right side that’s still able to help you in your movements.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.”

He coos, coaching you until you’ve slid your bottom to the middle of the bench of the back seat. Your breathing is labored when you’ve reached this point and his eyes soften at the sight. You’re trying so hard and you’re stronger than he could ever be, mentally and emotionally. So, again, he does what he does best – this time, swooping in to aid you.

“That’s good, you did so good. Let me do the rest, yeah?”

You nod in response to his question, though you know that it’s not really a question and that when it boils down to it, he would’ve done it anyways. His torso leans in to the inside of the truck and he places one hand under your knees and one around your shoulders.

“Put your hands around my neck, okay?”

He commands softly and you give him the reassurance he’s looking for with a nod. Before you know it, you’re airborne, leaning your head onto his shoulder for the brief moment before he places you down into the wheelchair. He kneeled down, adjusting the leg rest so your injured leg could sit comfortably, grabbing the pillow from the car and placing it underneath your injured limb. He stood and you smiled at him.

“Thank you, Rafe. You’re kinder than I deserve.”

You muttered, eyes casting down to where your hands rested on your legs. You were surprised as his thumb and forefinger met your chin, pulling your eyes toward his.

“One of these days, I'll prove to you that you deserve far more than I can give.”

“Let’s have a good day, yeah?”

He asks, bringing you back to earth. Your breath is caught in your throat, so you only manage a nod in response to him.

“Almost forgot.”

He said smiling, leaning into the passenger seat of his truck and grabbing a blanket before placing it over your legs and closing the doors of his vehicle. You were thankful.

—

The surprise couldn’t have been better, in fact, you’re glad you hadn’t known prior to this moment that Rafe had scored two tickets for a tour at a museum you’d only dreamt of seeing in person; the metropolitan museum of art. You’d meant to go so many times since you moved to New York, but sadly between your busy schedule as a teacher and your inability to time manage, you’d never made it. But, this – now, you’d managed it with a hunky boy at your side. You felt like you were dreaming as Rafe pushed you up the handicapped ramp. You admired the columns at the front of the entrance, its architecture something you’d seen photographs of for so many years, yet now, you realized they were truly larger than life, larger than you’d ever imagined. It made you feel uniquely human to gawk at the stone as it stood and as you smiled to yourself in reverence and awe at this day just as it began, Rafe knew he had done the right thing by bringing you here. You needed this — you needed joy.

You’d made it through admission quickly, the foyer of the building as beautiful as you had dreamed of. There were people bustling all around you as Rafe pushed you even further and further into the room. Your senses were almost lost underneath the bucket of chaos, but you looked up and for the first time saw the beautiful architecture of the foyer ceiling. It was something that again, you’d seen hundreds of photos of, but the beauty of seeing it in person was truly overwhelming. You were jolted from the thought as Rafe parked your wheelchair near the center of the room where a giant plant played the role of a centerpiece and benches sat just below it. He locked the wheels before kneeling in front of you.

“How’s your leg feeling, sweetheart? Do you need any medicine before we get started?”

He questioned, removing the blanket from your left leg to take a look at the swelling himself.

“The pain isn’t bad, I think the ice helped on the way over.”

You spoke, giving him a hopeful smile.

“How about some ibuprofen, then? Just to keep the swelling down.”

He questioned, his doctor mind working in overdrive even outside of the hospital to ensure your safety.

“Okay.”

You agreed, accepting the pills from his hand as he reached into the bag Jenny packed that lay draped across the bars of your chair and pulled out a water bottle for you to swallow it down with. You swallowed them smoothly, watching as Rafe gave your leg one more once over and fluffed the pillow it sat on before covering you with the blanket once again.

“Good girl. You ready?”

He asked, his smile meeting his eyes in excitement and you nodded, hoping you’d never forget what he looked like when he did that. When all this was over and you were no longer under his care, you hoped you’d never forget that smile.

—

Rafe pushed your chair forward into the first exhibit in your path, Van Gogh’s Cypresses, with a map of the museum in his hand. It was quiet between the two of you, uncertainty looming in the air of what the day would bring, if you’d let the other in. You didn’t make much of it, observing your surroundings as you were rolled forward. You’d heard about this exhibit coming to the museum in the form of an email newsletter from the met and you’d thought about coming so many times, but again, time got away from you. You were sure never to let that happen again once you were healed and the initial fear of living dissipated just as you knew it would. Your eyes traced over the painting; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine.

“Do you know what Van Gogh found so remarkable about the cypress trees?”

You finally questioned him, breaking the silence as he parked your chair in front of a giant painting. Your eyes traced over it; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine.

“Why don’t you tell me?”

He smirked, locking your wheels and kneeling down beside you, seeing it through your lens. He wanted to see everything through your lens. He looked to you with a pure smile, one you were sure that only he was capable of and you aren’t sure but you felt immense peace.

“Well, he found the trees beautiful and eternal and ethereal and much like most artists do, he looked to other art. But, noticed that no one had captured them quite the way he saw them. So, he set out on a mission to do it himself.”

He smiled at your analysis, knowing that your years of reading and teaching must’ve led you to this conclusion.

“I didn’t know that, thank you for teaching me something new.”

He replied and as sweet as his words were, you couldn’t help the shrill of embarrassment crawl up your spine, its force so strong, your body seemed to curl into itself where you sat.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

He asked, afraid you were in more pain than you were letting on. For a brief moment, he wondered if this outing was a mistake, if he was hurting you, rather than helping you for his own selfish motives.

“Nothing, I'm sorry if I sounded like a know-it-all. I have a bad habit of doing that. I’m sure you know lots about Van Gogh, you have a fucking medical degree for crying out loud.”

You stuttered out quickly and he couldn’t help but smile at how flustered you’d become.

“Hey — look at me.”

His voice is soft as he commands your attention and you follow his instructions.

“I might have a medical degree, but I don't know everything. In fact, there’s a lot I don’t fucking know – like an absurd amount. If it doesn’t have to do with bones or a joint, it’s actually quite foreign to me.”

He uttered, watching as your eyes moved back and forth over his face, like you were committing it to memory. Little did he know, you were.

“Listen to me. You and I, we’re both separate people with faults and quirks. We met by the brutality of the universe, right? I want you to forget about all of that. Today, I want you to forget about the accident, forget about our relationship, forget about the hospital. Today, we’re a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, I’m gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, we’re going to start over, yeah?”

His words made a lump form in your throat, its width as big as a beach ball.

“Yeah.”

You whispered in response. You didn’t hear Rafe walk away but you knew that he had by the quiet amidst you in a room full of chatting people. The next thing that gave him away was the fact that his presence gave you a warmth that you couldn’t describe and in the short stent that he was away from you, you longed for it. You wondered if he’d come back at all.

“So, do you come here often?”

Your favorite voice boomed over your shoulder.

“U-Uh no, it’s actually my first time. You?”

You replied, a smile hiding behind your plump lips.

“I come about once a year. Can’t say I’ve ever seen the likes of your beauty here, though.”

He spoke and you giggled at the cheesy one-liner that he pulled out of his docket. For the first time since he’d returned you met his blue eyes.

“Are your pick-up lines that bad with everyone or am I getting special treatment?”

You asked him, chuckling. He wore a sly grin at your giggle. It was the first time he’d really seen you laugh and he was sure that he wanted it to keep happening – for forever.

“You’re getting celebrity treatment. I pulled that one from the deluxe package.”

You laugh boisterously in unison.

“So – very cheesy stranger, can I ask who you are?”

You questioned him.

“That’s a loaded question, pretty girl. But, here goes nothing. I’m the guy who smiles when it rains, thunderstorms help me sleep. Libraries are my safe haven. I went to college at UNC and moved here with my college sweetheart. My favorite author is John Steinbeck. I’m a doctor, I came from a broken home, my sister is my best friend, I hate anchovies, and I broke my hip in a motorcycle accident when I was fifteen.”

He replied.

“You had me at the anchovies. Nice to meet you, very-cute stranger boy. I’m y/n and I feel like I've known you my whole life.”

The words you uttered were like music to his ears.

“Tell me, y/n, who are you?”

He asks and your mouth tips up in a smirk.

“I'll tell you what, show me around your favorite places here and I'll tell you everything you want to know.”

You said with a smirk.

“Negotiator and briber. I love it. You got yourself a deal, beautiful girl.”

He replied, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead, pushing your chair away from the Van Gogh exhibit and into the direction of art that was unknown to you. You were sure that no matter what, you never wanted to forget this moment, this purity, this bliss — no hospital rooms or surgeries or medicine, just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together.

—

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