#and of course since sec is my self insert these are 'get to know me' facts as well

[kirchefuchs]

Ceres, I have been obsessing over a bunch of romance Stannarrator headcanons I made for your AU because hell yeah

ahem so here's my favorite headcanon I made :D

You know how Pollux is an Al turned human? You know how he's basically just a pile of sentient code?

What if — and hear me out on this one, I swear it gets good — what if he and Stanley got together before Pollux even gained sentience?

Think about it for a sec.

The Narrator — as in, the role, not the person — is generally coded to read through and follow the script. He is simply there for the benefit of the game — the Players.

But, in your AU, there are no Players. Stanley is his own person.

So Pollux is coded to benefit Stanley instead, but its main priority is the story. If the story has already fallen into place and/or there's nothing left to tell, then the code will automatically switch and take Stanley as the main priority (take The Zending Ending, The Skip Button Ending, and the Not Stanley Ending as examples).

So this also means that he's coded to follow through with Stanley's feelings. He's coded to make sure Stanley is happy — even through the means of a lie — since there is no scripted story to tell. There's no such thing as a Confession Ending after all, so Pollux's code just moves and takes Stanley as its main priority.

but

BUT

there's a but

You know how you stated somewhere that The Research Team's best guess to The Narrator's first instance of fake memories (yes I memorized the entire lore I just rlly love it ok) was his AI making up memories on the whim?

...Welllllll let's just say that they were mildly correct (in this headcanon), but they were not correct about something else;

The AI doesn't learn, it replicates what it's given.

It only copied the original and added something to make it make sense. That's it. It took what it could and only changed it by a small amount. The first instant of faux memories was just self-inserts of poorly written emotions, because during that time, The Team was still trying to make room in The Narrator for empathy (in my headcanon).

Now, it's been a whole year, and there are of course little to no changes towards the AI. It still copies from examples and obeys under command, but it now occasionally breaks out of it with the help of Stanley.

But the confession happens.

And now, the AI switches its main priority to Stanley — what can The Narrator do to please him? To appeal to his desires? What can be done and/or said in a foreign situation like this?

Of course, his code makes him "love" Stanley back.

Stanley knows that the love isn't genuine, but at this point, anything would work. Who wouldn't crave some sort of escape from the harsh reality of a scripted life?

So he decides to start treating The Narrator like a lover would, just for the sake of the experience.

He constantly compliments what he can, comments when/where he's allowed to, and — when The Narrator is given a physical form — starts showing him (aka, the AI) slow and steady ways of showing love and affection.

And Stanley doesn't realize this, but the AI isn't just replicating; it's learning.

Because the first time he held The Narrator's hand, The Narrator reacted to the touch and muttered about it feeling nice. The first time Stanley hugged him, The Narrator didn't copy and hug back, no, he took his time and tried to understand why the hug felt good.

The AI can't fill in the gaps on its own when the answer is already there.

So what does it do?

It learns.

It learns how to love.

Anywho it is nearly midnight where I am right now sooooo goodnight to you in my area :D

— 🅰️non || 05/26/2023

Ohhhh my gosh 🅰️non, this is insane I love it. This would make such a cool AU for my headcannon lore!! (Of course I have my own ideas of how they end up together, lol) But it's not too far off from how I kinda imagine how the whole fake memory thing happened in the Demo. His code really was just filling in gaps to make sense of his new feelings. Poor guy doesn't know how to emotion properly, lol.

But also this made me really wanna draw some little things like the hand holding and the hug.

Just the slow realization that "wait, do I actually truly love Stanley? Is that even possible?" He's figuring it out ♡

And imagine how awkward he might be when he's finally come to the realization that "Yes I do really truly love him more than anything, and I'm actually feeling this. And I want this so so badly, that I might cry."

He would be such a disaster, let's be honest.

This really would make such a fun fanfic, tbh. This is why I love your ideas so much. It makes me think of fun scenarios and wanna draw them ♡♡♡♡

[desperadohurricane]

Horrific Headcanons

✘ Have they ever committed a murder? Yes, long before she starts working at Desperado and only out of self defense.

▼ What is their greatest fear? Something she battles with every day as a wandress moving from place to place--loneliness.  

✿ Would they ever trust dark or wicked magic? No, because users of dark magic are out for their own gain and everything always comes at a steep price.  

△ Name one thing from their past that they regret. Given how highly wired she is in anxiety there are lots of things most would consider trivial that she has done that she regrets.  Given that she is also an INTJ/INFJ personality type, she’s very hard on herself and never feels like anything she does is good enough.  Any major horrors that were committed against her/major life-changing events that have occurred she does not though because she knows she wouldn’t be as wise and strong as she is had they not happened.  She knows that age does not make a person more mature--but how they handle tragedy, loss and pain.

✂ If they had to choose one weapon to carry forever, what would it be? One that she normally carries with her anyway at all times which is a simple pocket knife.  Its concealable and easy to draw in a bad situation.  

☣ Would they kill someone close to them if they had to? It depends on the person and the situation.  

☢ Would they survive an apocalyptic situation? Given how flexible, adaptable and intuitive she is, more than likely, yes.

❣ If someone had the power to bring them back after death, would they want them to? It depends on the circumstances.  Other than her travels and photography, she doesn’t have much to live for but that can change verse to verse.  If she had someone who she genuinely cared about and treated her well and knew they were alone or needed them under the situation of a sudden death, then maybe.

☠ Do they fear death? Much with the case of what is said regarding Hannibal Lecter, death does not frighten her--being bored does.  She made her peace with concepts like death ages ago.  She has been in several near-death experiences in her life and is very aware of the fragility of humans in general.  Her biggest fear regarding death is not the matter itself--but dying at a time that isn’t practical to her or leaving behind someone who needs her around.

♱ What do they think awaits them after death? Given the what is usual in most religions, a heaven and hell aren’t places she’d like to reside.  She has never been an avidly religious person and identifies as an agnostic atheist.  She’s content in being more humble regarding the subject and simply stating that she doesn’t know, nor does anyone else for certain.   The only thing she can hope for, regarding an afterlife, should there be one, is that she’s put to use in a practical manner that she enjoys.  She’s too much of a busy body to want to ‘bliss’ for the rest of eternity nor is she too compelled to hell’s eternal suffering.  She’s also a very self-reliant and multi-faceted individual and the thought of going to heaven and losing the constraints of her individuality to be some god’s trinket of entertainment does not appeal to her in the slightest.

¿ Are they easily frightened? Normally, no.  If anything she is far more inclined to be brave and throw herself into hell to protect those she cares about.  She’s deeply loyal and reliable to those she cares about and given that she keeps company with only a select few, they mean everything to her.  

╳ How would they react to seeing a loved one become possessed? Leading back to her INTJ mind type, she would quickly identify that they were not themselves.  She is very intuitive and is much more masterful than most at picking up the small details of her loved ones.  If they have a headache or aren’t feeling well, she’s the first to know.  She would be very passive over these matters up until they were attempting to harm themselves or others.  After those perimeters were pushed at she would quickly disarm and restrain them--potentially knocking them out until she could do the research to end the possession.  

☹ Name one person they would kill for. Anyone that was in their inner circle that they deeply cared about.  Typically that list involves roughly five people at a time.  Her mother and sister are two of those people as well as any of her lovers.

☼ If they had the choice to be immortal with one other person, who would they choose? Currently it would probably be her closest lover in any roleplay thread line.  Given her usual thread lines either Viktor Heinrich or Chann.

☎ How would they react to receiving a phone call from a deceased love one? She would be shocked and instantly pour her time into figuring out how to repeat the result or decipher whatever message they’d come to tell her.  

★ Do they have a favorite scary movie? Book? Show? Not particularly because far too often there is a group of things under a topic she likes.  Its too hard for her to narrow down one that stands above another.

♣ Do they believe the world is made up of good and evil? She doesn’t typically believe in such concepts of absolute good and evil.  She also believes that they are entirely subjective to a situation.  All too often the world and what happens is in a ‘gray area’ and without proper analyzing and investigation one should not automatically view something as one or the other.

♥ Have they ever acting out of heartlessness?  Yes, but it is rare.  Typically she is fair to everyone but should she cross paths with someone who is a vile person then she can get very cold and heartless.  She can also become that way if someone she cares about betrays her trust or devalues her feelings or ignores a problem that she is actively trying to fix to make things better between her and them.  

☾ What is their favorite and least favorite thing about the night? The quiet that the night brings as well as the revitalization of creative energies are her favorites.  Her least favorite thing is being alone and without conversation or, at the very least, company.  She does not like being alone but she is not one to be overly intrusive when in the company of others.  She allows people to do their own thing while she does her own.  She simply likes them within reach.

ψ Do they think they deserve punishment for their wrongdoings? She believes that everyone deserves to be punished for a wrongdoing unless it wasn’t intentional.  Everyone should receive the benefit of the doubt.  If she committed an act upon another and does not realize it, then she would want to be told and would like to communicate how to fix it.  Typically the only time she commits a wrongdoing is when someone has wronged her first.

ϟ Have they ever gotten pleasure from causing others pain? Given she has quite a sadistic streak in her, yes.  People who wrong her she’s, more than likely, contemplated murdering them in a wide variety ways.  When she has been deeply wronged by those who have no conscious she practically salivates at the opportunity of getting even.  She also enjoys causing sexual pain to those who also enjoy it and will consent to it.

♚ Do they consider themselves to be evil? Not really.  She considers herself of neutral temperament alignment--neither good or evil, but she can drift back and forth between lawful and chaotic.  

♒ If they could choose how to die, how would they want to go? In a fight and preferably sacrificing themselves for another.  She has never been too enthralled with the idea of living to be a ripe old age or dying peacefully in bed on evening many years from now.  

™ Are they possessive?  Protective they are--possessive, not so much.  Typically she only keeps company with those she finds competent and has faith in them to make their own decisions and live their own lives without her having to worry about who they keep company with.  She also came to the conclusion long ago that people will do what they want.  She would never want to be put on a leash and told what to do and not to do and who and who not to associate with and would never want to do that to someone else.  That aside, shit happens and as a result she is very protective over those she cares about and would stop at nothing to defend them.  

✔ Are they holding a grudge against anyone? These days she tries not to hold a grudge or remain angry over long periods of time at anyone because she knows, logically, it to be a waste of energy.  Typically when things get toxic between someone else she completely casts them out of her life and attempts to pretend they don’t exist and ‘died’ for all intentions purposes.  She realizes she is an adult and doesn’t have to deal with anyone she doesn’t want to.  

◯ Do they believe in ghosts? She does in the sense of knowing there are things that cannot be seen that also cannot be explained.  She has had many supernatural disturbances happen in her life and is fairly sensitive to when things happen around her that shouldn’t be such as cold spots and thins hymning or buzzing.  She is as rational in her beliefs of matters as she can be.  She isn’t the type to believe in things that have no basis in reality.  

✦ Who is their favorite villain? There are far too many to list given she’s more likely to sympathize with villains or anti-heroes over true heroes. 

☄ While watching a scary movie, are they the one clinging to a friend or being clung to? They’re the ones being clung to.  She’s been watching scary movies ever since she was a kid and she’s very immune to them other than jump scares which will make her jump slightly because of reflexes.  

웃 Do they believe in aliens?  She’s more inclined to believe that there are aliens than a God at this point in her life.  

[binniesthighs]

can i request some cuddles with jeongin and maybe he's feeling a little insecure so reader is just taking care of him sorta? maybe include some kissing or a massage if you're comfy!!~

thank u for requesting this! 🥺I literally always need jeongin fluff to cleanse my soul LOL

don’t you worry about a thing | reader x jeongin |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x yang jeongin

Genre: ~fluffy fluff~

Tags: trainee!jeongin, college au, established realtionship, secret relationship, insecurity, mentions of food and dieting, cuddles, a lil kissing

Word count: 1.5k

You always hated the sound of your dorm’s doorbell buzzer. It was too shrill and startling, it made you jump every time that you heard it. It also kinda sounded like the dryer buzzer from the dorm’s laundry room. You had fallen asleep down there much too many times that the buzzers had become your wake-up alarm.

“Y/n? Are you there? Can I come up?” Jeongin’s voice hushed into the intercom.

You nearly threw your laptop off of your lap upon hearing is voice--you knew that you had to act fast.

“Yep, I’ll be right down, just wait a sec.” You croaked back to him. In the late hours of the night, sleep had started to take over your voice.

The sound of your footsteps bounced off the concrete walls of the stairwell to your dorm. Even though it was dreadfully cold, you didn’t bother taking a coat--the faster you could get to him the better. Him getting caught outside of the dorm would be much worse than you getting a little chilly.

He shook his knees a little where he waited for you with a long and thick black winter coat around his shoulders and a thick matching scarf covering him up to his nose. He also wore a facemask underneath and sunglasses, regardless that it was nighttime. You could barely see any of his skin, but his little blue beret was a key indicator to you that it was him. As soon as he saw you coming he did a couple little excited hops.

You swung the door open. “Get in get in, hurry.”

“Y/n--”

You could feel his little happy smile while he outstretched his arms. As badly as you wanted to wrap yourself all over him, the doors to the dorm were made of clear glass.

“--Not yet!” You scolded. “Once we get to my room.”

“But I missed you so much...” You could also feel his sad little pout.

“We’re not in the clear yet.”

This time you took him up the emergency stairwell, not the main one; there were almost never any people in the emergency one.

From behind you, his freezing hand grabbed at yours.

“Geez! Icecube much?” Your voice echoed around you both, and you squeezed his hand back.

“...sorry.” He rubbed his thumb against your hand.

Jeongin swayed back and forth as you unlocked your door quickly. The closer that you got to your dorm, the closer that you knew you were to tackling him as hard as you could.

The door clicked open, revealing your rather cluttered dorm, but Jeongin never really seemed to care. Back when you could to go over to his home, his room wasn’t much different. The door closed behind you two, and you breathed out a sigh in relief.

“I think that--”

Jeongin was the one to tackle you, throwing nearly his whole body weight on you to wrap you in the tightest hug that he could muster. The way that he wrapped himself almost made it a little hard for you to breathe.

“Oh-well hello to you too.” You gently rubbed at his back.

“I just missed you so so much.” His words came out soft and his voice appeared to crack a little.

“It’s only been a couple weeks...”

“But it felt so long.”

“You were busy I’m sure--”

He pulled away to start removing pieces of his disguise so you could see his face.

“I just wanna be close to you tonight, okay? For as long as I can?”

“Okay. Of course. I’d love to do that too.” You helped him shake off his coat.

He followed you to your little couch, barely big enough to fit more than two people. You plopped him right down, swaddling him in your biggest, fluffiest blanket till only his face was visible. You gave him a little peck on the forehead.

“There. Warming up?”

“Yes. Thank you. Are you coming?”

“I’m gonna make us some popcorn. You hungry?”

“They said that I should be dieting...I shouldn’t...”

“I’m going to make you some anyways.” You winked back at him.

Once you had finished, you settled yourself right next to him, draping the blanket over your shoulders as well, and adding one more to your laps. In seconds he pushed himself as close up to you as he could, nuzzling deep into your shoulder and wrapping his arms around you. He was normally a clingy person, but something about the way that he held onto you a bit weakly was different.

“Is everything okay?” You patted the top of his head carefully to soothe him. Among the black strands, little shiny hues of deep blue shone beside them. “Hey, I just noticed that your hair is kinda blue, did you dye it?”

“Yeah, we have an evaluation coming and my stylist was saying she wanted to try something new on me since we start filming for predebut stuff soon.”

“Predebut? Innie that’s amazing!”

“It is...but it’s all been really draining and...” He exhaled out a shaky sigh.

“Draining and...?”

“--Stressful. I just feel so stressed all the time. I get so worried that if I make one mistake at the evaluation then they’ll cut me from predebut promotions, that I won’t make it.”

“You’ve made it so far though! And you’ve always gotten positive feedback from them. As far as I know, they love you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes. I do.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Would I ever lie to you Innie?”

He huffed out, “I guess not...I just get so worried that I’m not good enough. All the other trainees are so talented, they can do anything that they want to and its so easy for them...with people like them, I just, fade away.”

“Hey! Don’t talk like that! Look at me.”

His weary and adorable brown eyes looked up at you, covered by a couple strands of his newly colored hair.

“You’re there for a reason. And you are talented. Just like the rest of them. I’ve heard you sing and I know how hard you work to do everything else. Even if I haven’t seen it, I know that you are doing so well, m’kay?”

“...okay.” He let up, and returned to nuzzling into you.

“You need to take care of yourself too. No matter what they tell you to do. That’s what’s most important.”

“Seeing you is like taking care of myself. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much.”

“You don’t have to say sorry, I understand.” Under the blanket, you pulled him in closer and continued playing with his hair.

“--And they have us working out all the time too. I’ve never been so sore in my life.”

Jeongin ran his hand down your arm to hold your free hand and play with your fingers absentmindedly.

“Are you telling me that you’re bulking up? Ahhh well, that is a little exciting...” You grinned a little as he couldn’t see it.

“I’m in pain!!!”

“Ok, sorry, sorry,” You chuckled a bit. “Where does it hurt the most?”

“My back, and my shoulders. Sometimes my arms.”

“Here.”

You lightly pushed him off of you to reach around and thoughtfully massage the muscles in his lower back, pointing your fingers to give a little more pressure. You worked your way up, pressing down all the way to his shoulders where you rolled the tension away. All the while he let out little happy and relieved sighs.

“Thank you so much Y/n.” He let his body go a little limp as you kneaded into the knots in his neck.

After, you worked down his arms, switching between pressing hard and soft. You finished off in his hands after massaging his palms. By then he was nearly jelly.

He cried out a little fake sob. “That felt so nice, thank youuuu.”

“~You’re welcome.~” You sung back. “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Okay. But I might fall asleep. Sorry in advance.”

“If you’re tired and that’s what you need, I’m not gonna be mad.”

“But this is our only time together!”

“I said, I won’t be mad.”

“Okie.” He pulled the blanket back over the two of you, hesitating before he decided to get comfy again. “Y/n?”

“Mmhm?”

He blushed pink slightly, “Can I...?”

You rolled your eyes. Even after a year of dating he would still ask to kiss you. Still, you hoped that would never change.

“Yes.” You leaned in a little and closed your eyes.

Jeongin tenderly took both sides of your face in his hands to press his lips into yours. It was a bit of a tired kiss, but it wasn’t any less loving. Whenever he would kiss you, somehow he knew how to pour his whole heart into it, reminding you just how much he loved you. It hadn’t even been that long, but you had forgotten a little just how sweet it was feeling close to him like this. Maybe it was because you had lost yourself in it, but time seemed to fade away after long as the two of you took comfort in each other.

Once you broke, Jeongin tackled you once again--a startling contrast to how gentle he had been before.

“OoF!” You laughed into his shoulder.

“Y/n, I really don’t know what I would do without you.”

[boylebingo]

fic writers tag

@montygreen​ tagged me in this ages ago but I have been having the nuttiest couple of weeks so it took me a hot sec to get to this, but I do appreciate it and if you somehow don’t already follow leila on here, you should go do that rn

now down to business :) 

1) How many works do you have on AO3? only 3 at the moment! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 45238 as of today 

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? just never have i ever! although i’m sure there are a few unfinished, never-published, years-old stories from assorted fandoms from when I was younger floating around in the void somewhere

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha well I’ve only got 3 published, but the number one spot goes to vanilla ice cream, which makes sense since it’s the only one i’ve actually finished so far 🙈

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

none of them? i feel like the reason i often read fic is because there is some unresolved canon-angst that i want someone else to resolve so while i definitely have points of tension, all of my stories tend to end (or are planned to end) happy  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i think vanilla ice cream will still probably be the fluffiest bc of that epilogue i decided to write last minute, even once i finish all the others. but they’re all pretty happy 🥰

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

not so far, though i try to make it a habit to never say never. I think its one of those things that’s really difficult to write well and I’m just not sure it’s in my skillset to do so. but who knows? maybe one day! 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

see above haha. it’s pretty much the exact same answer :) 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

I really try to answer all of them, although I know I missed a bunch while I was on a sorta unplanned writing hiatus. It’s only been a year of me posting anything I’ve written and it still genuinely baffles me that people not only read but also enjoy the things I put out there into the world, so every “thank you for reading” is from the heart for me and it’s so worth taking the two seconds to make my appreciation known. 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! i think part of that is just i haven’t been around that long haha

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but how cool is that? i wasn’t even really aware that was a thing that could happen! 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but if anyone wants to feel free to hmu 👀 i am super busy rn but i would love to eventually cuz so many of the folks who write for this show are so talented

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh gosh. all time is really, really hard. obvi for NHIE i’ve fully boarded the ben/devi train, but some other all time TV faves of mine are ben/leslie from parks&rec, david/patrick from schitts creek, and josh/donna from the west wing. you might be able to tell i love a rivals to lovers moment from some of these lol 💀 but there are so many that i love for different reasons it’s like picking a favorite child lmao

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do have plans to finish the 2 remaining fics up on ao3, but I will admit, the rosy dot over the i of loving was... ambitious, and not exactly well thought out when I started it. so it may be a while. i haven’t started much else new since those 3 went up, since i’ve been trying to finish what i’ve started. but i have had this ben/devi idea rattling around in my brain ever since i read the book “the unhoneymooners” that I am just not sure i’ll ever quite get around to. 

16) What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i’m pretty good at writing dialogue! in college, i took a creative writing class for playwriting, where it was drilled into our head that you want to get as much of the story as humanly possible out through words, rather than actions. basically my professors argument was that any stage direction could be ignored by a director if the action/object/setting/etc. wasn’t directly referred to in lines said by a character. so if it was important to you, we should make someone talk about it! i think because of that my narration tends to be a little sparser (but hopefully that’s to the benefit of the dialogue!!)

oh, and i also took a class in humor writing and got an A, so.... 👀

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i could be a lot better at coming up with themes/symbols/metaphors/etc. Having not really planned out the WIPs on AO3 now, this was hard to do, so I guess that also goes hand in hand with my time management haha. But yeah I find it a little difficult to have those sorts of literary devices in longer works (i used to write a lot more poetry and it was a little easier for me in that format so i have faith that i can get better).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i only fluently speak english and you do not want to see me butcher french or german, let alone a language I’ve never taken courses in. so it’s a hard no for me personally haha. that said if you know more than another language, first of all i’m jealous, and second of all, go for it! 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i don’t really know! like i said i used to write things without publishing them anywhere, so it’s hard to remember. maybe harry potter, when I was like 10? i feel like i probably wrote the same self-insert hogwarts moment that literally every 10 year old in the late-aughts was writing haha

i know for sure there was a b99 fic that was almost published on ao3 back in like season 2 or 3? that’s why my username is what it is 😊

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m really proud of finishing vanilla ice cream. buuuut i am also really proud of the poems in the rosy dot over the i of loving and i think if i ever finish that one, it will be my favorite for pushing me out of my writing comfort zone.  

Tagging: fellow benvi advocate and @gross-vishwakumar and anyone else who would like to answer that hasn’t already been tagged by someone else cuz i know i got to this a bit late lol 🙈

[thiswasinevitableid]

#56, OT4, NSFW if possible. Thank you for providing Winter-y cheer for us all!

You’re welcome! And this is indeed NSFW

56. my little sibling/cousin makes me sit on santa’s lap and when santa asks me what I want for christmas, I blurt “someone to love” and you’re the cute elf that overhears (or I blurt ….[insert here]) 

He’s exhausted, but he promised he’d take his cousins to see Santa after work while his aunt does some shopping. As is traditional, half the Newton family is already in town, even though it’s three and a half weeks until Christmas. 

Dove and Robin each take their turns, and then insist in that terrifyingly forceful way of six year olds that Duck do so as well. Given he nearly blew it last year when they asked him if Santa was real, he decides he should play along. At least he changed out of his work uniform first so fewer of the other mall employees will recognize him as a twenty-three year old man sitting on Santa’s lap.

“And what would you like for Christmas, young man?”

“Ned, please, make this easy” he hisses at the man playing Santa. 

“Well, then, answer the question dear boy.”

“I, uh, I really want…”

He can’t lie and say something bland, and the only thing he’s really hoping for this winter is-

“I want to get laid.”

He regrets the words and all of his life choices as Ned booms out a laugh. His cousins are too busy studying the toys strewn about the room to hear, so he counts that as his luck for the day, takes their hands, and hurries off into the mall.

------------------------------------

“He really said that?” Barclay looks back at Stern as he restocks cookbooks.

“Yes. I was photo elf today so he didn’t see me cracking up.”

“Don’t know why they hide their cutest elf away like that.”

“Because I’m tall.” 

Barclay turns, glances around to be sure no one is watching, and kisses his cheek. 

“Nah, you’re perfect.”

He blushes; even after nine months of dating, Barclay has a way of acting as if he’s in a perpetual state of falling for him. 

“What did the guy look like?”

“On the shorter side, and his eyes where two different colors. Works at R.E.I.” It’s his best attempt to protect Duck’s dignity.

A conspiratorial smile crosses his boyfriends face, “Keep an eye out for my manager for a sec, babe?”

“Of course. What are you doing?”

“Matchmaking. I hope.”

-------------------------------------

Duck’s on duty in the tent and sleeping bag area when Indrid Cold appears. Indrid works at the tattoo shop across the way, and has a habit of taking lunch the same time Duck does, sitting on a metal bench and trying to draw. The mall gets crowded and loud around then, and two months ago Duck started sneaking him into a back corner of the store so he can have lunch in peace. Indrid, a few years his senior, with his tongue piercing and tattoos, the ratty black pants and various tank-tops that show off a skinny frame Duck would love to get his hands on, is the kind of guy Duck would’ve had a crush on.

Now, Indrid is the kind of guy who makes him so hard he does embarrassing-ass things like say “I need to get laid” in front of his cousins.

Indrid leans his shoulder on the wall, grinning, red glasses making him resemble the mothman tattoo on his right arm. 

“Howdy, sir, got questions about the tents?” Duck smirks. 

“Indeed. Which one is best for sex?”

Duck barks out a laugh, claps a hand over his mouth when a nearby shopper gives him a funny look. 

“Any that ain’t a one-person deal. That your way of tellin me you got a hot date tonight?”

“I might” Indrid peers of the rims of his glasses, “a little bird told me you had a rather, ah, explicit Christmas wish.”

“Aw fuck, who even heard me othern’n Ned?” 

“I suspect it was Joseph. Poor man is stuck being an elf, and it was Barclay who texted me the hint.”

“Ughhhhwait-” Duck stares at him, “you came over here to ask me if, uh, if I wanted to, uh-”

“Yes. Oh dear, was my innuendo unclear? Or was it not even an innuendo?”

Duck has him against the wall in two steps, not touching him but bringing his mouth up to growl in his ear

“Your place, sugar?”

“I get off at seven.”

“Won’t be the only time you get off, I gauran-goddamn-tee it.”

----------------------------------

Indrid’s grip is flatteringly eager as he pins Duck to the door of his trailer.

“Damn, sugar, didn’t know you wanted me that badAhnnnnnohfuckyeah.” He rolls his hips as Indrid yanks his collar down to set hickeys in his skin.

“I have though you were attractive from the moment I saw you, and have wanted to fuck you since that time you made yourself laugh so hard you nearly snorted soda out of your nose.”

“Kinky.” 

“I meant” Indrid grabs and shoves and guides him across the floor, “that the moment I saw that smile I wanted to see what other smiles I could draw from you.” The kiss is a counterpoint the heated touches, so gentle and sincere Duck changes course.

“Fuck it” he hops up onto the kitchen table, discarded illustrations crunching under him, “I can’t wait anymore, you’re so fuckin cute, all fuckin romantic and shit.” He pulls him down into another kiss, groans as clever fingers undo his pants. Duck shifts as Indrid gets them mostly down, refusing to break the kiss all the while. The wire of the taller man’s glasses bumps his skin, and he finally gives in, pulling away so he can guide them off Indrid’s face. 

“I’d very much like to touch.” Indrid’s fingers are tense, poised on Duck’s thighs. He looks shyer without the glasses, almost virginal, which is fucking remarkable for a guy who came onto him in broad daylight. 

“Touch whatever you like, sugar, long as you let me do it back.”

“Gladly. I, ah, that is, should I stay on the outside?” 

He thinks, trying to sty a step ahead of his own brain to see if this is a day where penetration might set it off. 

“This time, yeah.” Duck hooks his legs round Indrids, keeping them close. 

“Does...that mean there might be a next time?” Indrid is gnawing his chapped bottom lip.

Duck waits for him to meet his eyes, then nods so Indrid can know what comes next is pure teasing. 

“Depends on how well you doOHfuck, ‘Drid, that’s it sugar, c’mon, jack me off.” He grinds his hips, Indrid experimenting with different movements, grinning every time Duck moans. 

“Touch me, please, Duck, I want you, want you so much.”

It takes a few seconds of fumbling and two muttered “fucks” before he gets Indrid’s pants undone enough to get his hand around his cock. A tattoo peeks out over either hip, and Duck decides his new plan for the winter is to discover every inch of Indrid’s skin with his mouth and hands. 

There’s a whine as Indrid buries his face into Duck’s shoulder, working him harder as Duck’s fingers go slick with pre-cum. 

“I, I am not going to last very long, wanted this too long, too much”

“Then cum for me, sugar.” He picks up the pace and in four strokes discovers Indrid isn’t kidding, the silver-haired man cumming down his hand. 

“D-don’t stop, don’t stop until I’ve made you cum. AH, ahnnnyes, yes” Indrid squirms with a delighted smile.

“You like that? Knowin I’m gonna wring you dry unless you get me off?” 

“Yes!”

“Fuck, you’re so fuckin needy, you’ll even take me bein rough just so you can fuck me.” He gives up on being gentle, moans when this makes Indrid find just the right pressure and speed. When he cums he let’s go of his cock, uses both hands to drag Indrid into a kiss and feels him shuddering with pleased little sounds. 

“Jesus fucking christ.” He slumps back on his elbows as Indrid drops into a chair, forehead resting on the table “shoulda opened my big mouth in front of Joe sooner.”

“Mmmhmm” Indrid bumps his arm with his nose. Then he cracks his eyes open, the shyness back full-force, “if, ah, if you need to get home I understand but, ah, I was wondering if you’d like to stay awhile?”

“Told my folks I’d be out late. You anglin to cuddle and steal my body heat?”

“Maybe.” A kiss to his arm now, Indrid gazing at him adoringly. 

“Then I’m gonna snuggle the hell out of you.”

Soon they’re nestled under the covers of Indrid’s bed, watching the Repair Shop and talking, Duck’s head on Indrid’s chest. 

“Kinda funny that our exes set us up, ain’t it?”

“You consider Joseph an ex?”

“Kinda? Sounds better than “friend I fucked a few times Freshman year of college.”

“True. I must admit, the thought does make me wish I’d been a fly on the wall.” Indrid freezes as soon as the sentence hits the air, “ah, that’s, I apologize, that just sort of came out.”

“No harm done.” Duck kisses the top of his head, ignoring the ideas conjured up by the admission. Why stick to Indrid watching when he could be involved? And he bets Indrid goes full-on tease with Barclay, something he’d love to see, and there is definitely a recurring fantasy of fucking Joe from behind while someone else came down his throat….

Later. He can think about those things later. Right now, he’s utterly content and happy to focus on the lilting voice rambling about art restoration and the bony hand holding his own. 

------------------------------------------

A side benefit of Duck and Indrid getting together is that they can now go on double-dates with himself and Barclay. Or, as Joseph is starting to call them “put all three men he’s attracted to in a room to see if he cracks” dates. He honestly didn’t mean for it to become that, but the more time they all spend together, the less he can deny the wish that it was just one, four-person date. 

His feelings for Barclay are self-explanatory; he’s his boyfriend of nearly a year who, among other things, treats eating him out as something akin to a religious experience. Indrid, he now understands, plays at his long-running interest in the strange and unusual. The fact his intriguing exterior hides someone a little awkward and very well meaning makes it all the better.

And then there’s Duck. They’d hooked-up a few times in college, when Joseph was newly out as trans, and being with someone who wasn’t weird about it had been the icing on the beefcake (a phrase he used once and made Duck laugh and fall off the bed). Duck has only gotten better with age and, looking at his strong arms and rounded face, the ass he wants to sink his fingers into, Joseph understands that the awe he felt whenever Duck was naked wasn't solely to do with the newness of the act. If ever there was a body to be worshiped, it’s Duck’s.

So, yeah, he’s had a lot to think about while listening to parents art director their children for their picture with Santa. 

Tonights “double date” is a little odd. He and Barclay are each getting a small tattoo (not matching, he’s too sure that’s a way to jinx things) courtesy of Indrid, with Duck tagging along so they can all go to dinner after. Barclay is the last client of the day, and Indrid’s boss locked the four of them in with a reminder to Indrid to arm the alarm when he leaves. Duck flips through magazines as Joseph reads off Buzzfeed Unsolved conspiracy theories for his entertainment. 

“You should do one of those shows. You got that whole nerdy but stylish thing going for you.”

“Duck, my work uniform is an elf costume.”

“But the rest of the time you look like Special Agent Cooper.”

He blushes, “Special Intern Stern is more like it.”

“You’re gettin there, city mouse.”

He looks up at the old pet name, just in time to see Duck throw an Adbusters up as cover and start talking about the image he’s staring out. Joseph lets him. For now. 

--------------------------------------

“There. A safely wrapped present to yourself.” Indrid double-checks the bandage on Barclay’s upper arm. 

“Thanks, man. Can’t wait to see what it looks like all healed. Sure it’s gonna look fucking great.” Barclay still sounds a little shaky from the adrenaline. 

Indrid allows himself a burst of pride that his friend thinks so highly of his work, “I just need to clean up and then we can be on our way.”

Barclay gives an affirmative grunt, staying in his chair. There’s a spike of fear in Indrid’s stomach; did he do something wrong? Is Barclay about to pass out?

Circling the chair to check replaces the fear with pure, skin-prickling lust. 

“My, my, is this why you’ve waited so long to get a tattoo?” 

Barclay whines, shaking his head, his eyes shut and his cock pitching an obscene tent in his jeans. 

“Are you lying?”

“N-no. I, uh, I mean I like pain, but I didn’t think this would happen.”

“That’s a new development.” Indrid leans against his workbench, enjoying the view. 

“Joseph and I have been trying out a bunch of things, figuring out what we like.”

“How very methodical. And unfortunate; if memory serves, once you get wound up it takes time for you to unwind.”

“Indrid please” Barclay’s gritting his teeth. Indrid’s remembering just how fun it is to have such a big man wrapped around his finger. 

“Please what?” He cocks his head.

“I, fuck, I dunno, talk about weird morbid shit. Disasters. Anything that will make it go down.”

A sinful image enters his mind, unshakeable in it’s appeal. 

“I can do you one better. Joseph? Would you come here? I need your help.”

Barclay’s eyes snap open, Indrid grinning at the excitement in them. 

“Is everything alright?” Joseph steps through the door, Duck poking his head in worriedly after him. 

Indrid points to Barclays cock, “I have to clean up, and that needs to be seen to.”

“And you want me to, um, see to it with you two in the room?”

“Only if you are both comfortable-”

“Yes” Barclay and Joseph say it at the same time, the dark haired man crossing the floor and dropping to his knees in front of his boyfriend.

“Should I, uh?” Duck glances between the three. So polite, even when Indrid can see the flush spreading up his skin from here. 

“Please stay.” Joseph is panting, in spite of only now getting Barclay’s zipper down. 

“Barclay?”

“Fine by me, man. Long as you know I’m gonna fuck your boyfriend into the floor for fucking with me like this.”

“That I’d like to see.” Duck shuts the door, grabbing Indrid’s chair so he can sit.

“There is one caveat, sweetheart; you are not allowed to cum right now. I promise I’ll show you new ways of being rough with me if you do.”

“You drive a hard bargain, sugar.”

“No fucking kidding, maybe you should get to fuck him before me since he’s being so meEEan, fuck, yes babe, goddamn I love your mouth.” Barclay arches in the chair as Joseph sucks him off. Indrid’s own cock perks up at the sight, becomes insistent as he turns his back and cleans to the sound of Barclay growling profanity in time with the wet sound of his cock defiling Joseph’s throat. 

He gets things cleaned and in order as fast as his rapidly dwindling focus will let him, turns back to see Barclay whimpering as Joseph kisses and licks along his shaft. Duck is still seated, rubbing his thighs together as he watches them, hands digging into the faux-leather seat. Indrid supposes he should scold him for stimulating himself, but he looks so very handsome right now.

Instead, he strides over to the pair in his client seat and fists his hand into Josephs hair, gelled strands breaking free in his fingers as he guides his mouth back over Barclay’s thick cockhead.

“We do not have all night, pet. So get to it Snap twice if it needs to stop.” He pushes him down by his hair until Barclay’s pressing the back of his throat, then yanks him almost all the way up. Joseph moans steadily, blue eyes darting between him and Barclay beneath black lashes as Indrid forces him up and down. 

“Fuck, babe, you look so fucking good on your knees, taking my cock like a good boy.”

“Ahem.” Indrid manages to look stern. Barclay is just able to tilt his head up enough for Indrid to dip down and kiss his full lips.

“Thank you, baby, thank you for letting me get offAHshitshit.”

“Close, dearest?”

“Uhuh, socloseohfuck”

“Do you want to cum down his throat?”

“So bad, Indrid, please.”

“You heard him, pet.” He holds Joseph’s head down, pre-cum thoroughly staining his pants as Barclay jerks up and Joseph frantically gulps him down. He brings his head up without warning, gathering the stray droplets of cum from his lips and fucking them into his mouth with his fingers.

“Good boy.” He purrs and Joseph whimpers happily. 

He looks at Duck, and for a moment he’s terrified he went too far, ignored him for too long. His boyfriend’s eyes are wide and dark, locked onto where Joseph is still eagerly sucking his fingers. Slowly, his gaze drags up to Indrid, crooked smile blossoming as it does. 

“Indrid Cold, you’re a fuckin genius, and I am gonna fuck you into next week.”

---------------------------------

It’s not next week, but it is ten at night and Indrid is being fucked well into it. 

They’re at Joseph’s apartment, his lack of roommates giving them optimal privacy, and Indrid is on his back on the tidily made bed. Barclay fucks him hard, grunting out thank yous for the privilege, which Indrid would reward with praise were his mouth not currently occupied with Duck riding his face. Joseph is near his head as well, having cum earlier via Barclay’s tongue (“this one of the best goddamn things in the world and I’m gonna show you two how to do it right”) and now rapturously groping Duck. Indrid can’t quite hear all the praise he’s directing at Duck’s body, but he’s going to hazard a guess he agrees with the statements.

“Can, fuck, can one of you make him cum? Wanna feel this demanding little ass tighten.”

“On it.” Joseph grips his cock and oh, no wonder Barclay looks so blissful most days. The man gives masterful handjobs and Indrid cums hard, whimpering when neither Duck nor Barclay lets up. The base of Barclay’s cock thuds against his ass so hard he’s wondering if that part of him can bruise, and Joseph switches his attention to Indrid’s nipple piercings, toying with him just like Duck demonstrated, Indrid squeaking as he sucks Duck’s dick. 

There’s a groan as Barclay cums, working himself through it in Indrid’s increasingly sensitive ass while Duck cums on his face, petting his hair as his hips jerk. 

When he’s finally able to sit up, it’s to a portrait of tender debauchery. Barclays head is on his stomach, his beard and hair a royal mess that Joseph is gently stroking down to some semblance of order. Duck is snuggled up beside him, kissing his shoulders and holding Indrid’s hand. 

“That was, um, something.” Joseph murmurs. 

“A whole hell of a lot of somethin.” Duck opens his free arm so Indrid can nestle against him, Barclay shifting to put his head onto Joseph's thigh. 

“Is it...something we wish to happen again?” Indrid’s nerves creep back up.

“Hell yeah.”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“Thank goodness. I. Ah. I am realizing I am fond of all three of you and, ah, very attracted to all three of you as well.”

“We should lay out some ground rules, right?” 

Barclay’s stomach growls, “For sure, babe. But can we please get dinner while we do? I’m gonna start eating the strap on. 

“You better not, that one was expensive.”

They clean up themselves and the room, frequent kisses prolonging the process. As Barclay orders pizza and Indrid starts water for tea, Joseph loops an arm around Duck’s shoulders.

“We should get you to blurt out Christmas wishes more often.”

“You got a deal. Just, next time, not in front of Ned.”

[honeytea8]

So, discord was too hype this fine evening, and my lovely JoJo compatriots got me going on this crackship.

(If you ship a crack pairing and you KNOW it’s a crack pairing, this ones for you lmao! Live your dreams, boys 🤠 this is fanfiction)

Yeah, so here’s my little AbbaMis scenario raw and unedited. All I ask is that you humor me for a sec 😂 

Okay so boom: let’s say it’s some time post-series and everyone lives, yay right? Wrong! Because Abbacchio is still stuck pining after Bruno and you know what Bruno does? This dude gets MARRIED! The ship has sailed and Abbacchio never got on it. He can’t be upset because, he loves Bruno for real so if his old Capo is happy then Abba is too (insert air-quotes). He considers skipping the wedding but Mista won’t let him. The two have formed this weird friendship thing since Bruno is no longer affiliated with the mafia. Mista has assumed the role of helping Abbacchio stay afloat given the circumstances.

Abbacchio manages to suffer thru the wedding (he vomits only once so he calls it a win). All the festivities happen and it’s over. Abbacchio is hurting bro, like he’s losing sleep, can’t eat or function. He’s actually LOVESICK! Fast forward some months and he and Mista are on a mission. They’re staking out some building (a rival gang’s HQ, idk lmao).

It’s midnight, they’re both sitting in the car, nothings happening. But you know how Mista gets, this dude loves to have random conversations. So somehow (by magic probably) Mista gets Abbacchio to talk about his high school days. About how he used to wear dark, grunge makeup and lipstick, etc. They talk about the stupid shit they did as youth and eventually they fall on the topic of love.

It ain’t no secret that Abbacchio loved (loves?) Bruno. Mista knows this and tries to get him to open up. (I have this theory that Mista’s silliness makes it easy for ppl to confide and talk to him). Abba opens up and actually breaks down crying. Like smeared mascara, bleeding eye liner. He says one thing that nearly breaks Mista in two.

“I fell so in love with him. And I-I fucking thought he would catch me, but he didn’t.”

Mista pulls him in for a hug, because that’s all he knows how to do. When Fugo is having a hard time, when Narancia’s going thru shit, even Giorno on a rare occasion, Mista will come thru with the hugs!!! So he’s petting Abbacchio’s hair (the hat falls off lmao). And Abba is just sobbing into his sweater, nearly drenching the thing. Mista starts to worry because, humans shouldn’t be able to produce this many tears, right? But then he remembers that this is YEARS of stockpiled pain, regret, and self-loathing.

Suddenly Abbacchio shoves him off. He’s wiping at his face, which is a whole red (makeup-smeared) mess by now. Mista just levels him with a look, like stop building these walls around you, bro, you’re trapped!

“You judging me now, Mista?” Abbacchio sneers, but if anything he looks like a cornered animal.

“Dude, of course not. I would never...”

Mista scrubs his head with his nails, through his beanie before pulling it off an fanning himself with it (car ain’t got no AC).

Abbacchio is silent, brooding and put out but mostly regretting his outburst. He’s thinking ‘Fuck, this is pathetic, even for me’

Thankfully, they don’t bring it back up. They don’t talk about it but neither of them really forget. So it just sits in the back of both of their minds. Simmering and building up to... something, but they don’t know what. It’s a door that’s been kicked wide open and they can’t shut it.

To cut a very long and convoluted story short: They all share a house (in this stupid scenario) and it’s a rare chance where only the two of them are home. Mista eats dinner and promptly conks out. He swears only five minutes pass before there’s a knock at his door. Glancing at his clock, he sees it’s been about two hours and it’s thundering like crazy outside so much that it’s rattling against his window.

He stumbles to open the door, it’s Abbacchio. But not just that, this is Abbacchio bare-faced and au natural. No heavy makeup or dark lipstick. Just him and his little freckles, ash white eyebrows, and pink lips.

“You gonna let me in, or are you just gonna stare at me like a zoo animal?” Abbacchio mumbles.

Mista snorts and steps aside so Abbacchio can come in. He’s still half asleep and he’s not even sure this is real or not lmao. It’s only when Abbacchio takes a seat on his bed that he realizes that he is awake and this is actually happening. Mista suddenly remembers he’s only in his boxers so now he feels a bit self conscious. Abbacchio isn’t staring or anything—but it’s still weird as hell.

“Was there...something you needed?” Mista yawns. Abbacchio doesn’t reply but he’s doing that thing where he expects Mista to just figure it out.

But it’s like 2am, and raining, and he honestly doesn’t have the patience to just wait and see what happens.

Mista nudges Abba aside and pulls back the covers, “Alright, get in.”

Abbacchio wants to argue, his face says it all, but he really doesn’t want to be alone right now so he complies. Mista gets in after him and you know what this guy does? BIG SPOON! To him, it’s the same as hugging and hugging has worked all this time so what’s the problem?

He snakes his arms around Abbacchio’s waist and pulls him in. Even tucks his chin on his shoulder.

“Comfortable?” Mista asks.

“Y-Yeah...”

For a split second, Abbacchio closes his eyes and imagines its someone else holding him like this. That it’s someone else holding him like they actually want him rather than letting him fall hopelessly in love just to abandon him.

Doing this to Mista isn’t fair. Mista isn’t a replacement, but a friend. A loyal one who’s been there literally every step of the way. 

In a lapse in judgement, he brings Mista’s hand to his lips and kisses it. Mumbling a ‘thank you’ against his wrist.

(And the rest is n/sfw...lmfao, so yeah... yay, for crack! We love to see it 💓)

[jo-ships]

Of Free Will and Butterflies - chapter 2

Summary: Team Free Will finds themselves in another universe on a mountain with 9 teenagers and as the night goes on, they find that they need to make sure these teens survive.

"So, who the hell are you guys?" A voice spoke from behind Johannah, startling her.

She slowly turned around and gave the guy looking at her expectantly a nervous grin. "Uhh, good question." After a moment, she noticed something about him, he seemed awfully familiar. 'Rami Malek?' She thought to herself.

"Wait, Johannah? Did you-, did you dye your hair?" 'Rami Malek' asked as if he knew her. "You brought friends? I mean, that's totally fine but I wish you woulda told me before." He laughed awkwardly - Johannah wasn't even sure if he was genuinely feeling awkward or if that was just his laugh.

She grimaced, finding herself putting the pieces of this puzzle together. "Uhh, alright, I think I'm just gonna go ahead and say this since I'm thinking you're gonna find out soon anyway: I'm not the Johannah you know." As she spoke, Gabriel peeked his head out of the cable car station to see what was going on. "And I say you're going to find out because I just saw someone who looked uncomfortably like me but with orange hair get onto that gondola or whatever with two blondes who I'm assuming you probably know."

"Hey, sugar, what's going on?" Gabriel walked over, inserting himself into the situation.

'Rami' looked confused and then started laughing. "Oh man, Johannah, you really got me for a sec. Come on, you and your friends can ride up with me. I know you're probably dying to see Sam and Chris." He gestured around the side of the station. "Are they with you too? Let them know the cable car's almost here." He walked off into the station before either of them could respond, leaving them both confused.

"What was that about?" Gabriel asked.

Johannah shrugged, blinking. "I don't know, I think he thinks I'm the Johannah he knows. Guess that's why you and Cas could tell that wasn't Zoey. This might be a good thing, though. It means we can get up there without any hassle."

Gabriel nodded. "True. Want me to get the chuckleheads and you go help Cassie deal with that guy?"

"Can do." Johannah reached a leg out to walk back to the station before stopping and looking at Gabriel again. "That guy looked like Rami Malek. Y'know, the actor in Night at the Museum I like."

Gabriel looked at the door and then back at her. "You're right. Funny, you and Dean both recognize someone here."

Johannah smiled, responding with a small laugh and turned back to the station. "Hey, Gabe, let them know what's going on, alright?" Gabriel gave her a thumbs up and walked around back to retrieve the boys. The moment Johannah walked through the door, Castiel looked at her, pleading for help with his eyes. She laughed noticing 'Rami' was laughing and put her hand on his shoulder, deciding to play along with what he thought was happening.

"You got your friends in on this too? Wow, you really went to some great lengths for this prank," he said.

Johannah laughed in response. "Oh yeah, I wanted to make sure I really got ya going."

'Rami' nodded, still laughing a little and held out his hand to Castiel. "Hey, the name's Josh. How long have you known Jo here for?"

Castiel shook his hand and introduced himself. "I'm Cas," he looked at Johannah for approval to which she nodded. "I've been good friends with her for some years now."

"Yeah, same with the others," Johannah added.

"Really?" Josh asked, looking at Johannah. "How come you've never told me about any of them?"

Johannah shrugged. "Guess they've just never come up in conversation."

Gabriel suddenly walked in the door with Dean, Sam, and Jack in tow. Jack raised his hand in greeting. "Hello."

Josh imitated him, "Hello right back to you."

Johannah smiled at her friends and gestured at Josh. "Hey, guys, this is Josh." 'Apparently,' she added in her head, then gestured at the group and looked at Josh. "Josh, these are my friends, Sam's the tall one, Dean's the second tallest, and Jack's the other one. The one you saw earlier is Gabe." She hesitated, debating whether to mention Gabe to be her boyfriend. "He's my boyfriend."

Josh looked surprised. "Wow, and here I thought you had a thing for our pals Sam and Chris." He looked at Sam and added, "The girl Sam, not him." Johannah shrugged, not entirely knowing how to respond. Thankfully, she didn't end up having to as the cable car arrived right then. "Alright, friends and fans. Looks like we can get this show on the road," he pointed with both hands to the cable car and spun around to walk onto it as he spoke.

Johannah looked at her friends, mouthing at them, "This is weiiird," before joining Josh in the cable car. The two of them waved the others in. "You think we'll all fit?"

"Sure, sure, only 7 of us, right?" Josh asked, sitting on one of the benches with space for two to sit next to him.

Johannah hesitated before sitting next to him, Gabriel sitting next to her. Across from them, Sam, Dean, and Castiel sat down, leaving Jack standing - not that he really minded. Johannah took a breath and thought carefully about what to say that wouldn't make Josh think she was losing it or anything.

"You know, even if you brought some friends with, it really means a lot that everyone's back this year," Josh said, breaking the momentary silence. "After last year, I really hope we can put everything behind us and my sisters can feel at peace - wherever they are."

Johannah nodded, now understanding the situation better. "Yeah, of course. I hope you're doing okay. I know they meant a lot to you." She felt terrible pretending like this right here, but she really didn't have any other options.

Josh nodded. "Yeah, I just wanna," he stopped to chuckle, "I just wanna forget it ever happened, right? So let's all just fucking party when we get there." He ended the statement with another one of his awkward-sounding laughs.

"Hey, I'm super forgetful, Josh. Do you mind reminding me who else is supposed to be there?" She wasn't entirely sure what "there" was but she knew there were a bunch of friends meeting on this mountain and her other self was one of them.

"Everyone from last year. I'm sure you already know Chris and girl Sam are gonna be there, right? I mean, they're like your best friends." Johannah nodded, adding that to her mental list of things she knew about other Johannah. "Then there's Mike and Emily, apparently they broke up. Mike's gettin' it on with Jessica now," Josh laughed again, this time Johannah figured out that it really was just the way he laughed and not just a nervous laugh. "Matt and Em got together. And then Ashley, Chris's big crush." He paused and chuckled. "Hey, think I should try to get them together since you're off the table now?" Johannah suddenly felt really bad for her other self. Hopefully, when Josh saw both of them next to each other, it would change this.

"Haha, maybe."

Prev / Next

[jq37]

i know you posted your thoughts on the big arguing scene in “we need to talk about pete” but i was wondering if you were going to post a full breakdown? that episode was a lot and i love hearing your thoughts on eps. ignore this if you have done a breakdown and i’m dumb and just missed it lol

**spoilers for the war of bugs and rats and we need to talk about pete**

What’s up denizens of Magic NYC? Now, I unfortunately live in normal NYC where I have to pay bills and stuff so I’ve been MIA with recaps for the past few eps but, no sweat. We’re gonna do a double feature of the above two eps and then I’ll group in the last battle episode with the upcoming episode. So lets catch up on what’s been going on in The Unsleeping City There’s a LOT to get through so vámanos y'all.

First up, we have our big bug fight in Queens, which Sophie enters with a camelback full of box wine because Emily is Emily.

“I’ve heard of gentrification but this is crazy!”

Brennan enjoys making those gross, chittering, bug noises way too much.

Have we talked about Pete’s cowboy hat? Because, for real, what is up with Pete’s cowboy hat? It seems absolutely apropos of nothing. Was he just like, “Sick,” and he decided to wear it everywhere? That seems to be how he makes all of his decisions.

“Butthole 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

Emily clocks the cat *immediately*. Like to the point where I’m almost thinking, “Did this cat exist before Emily mentioned looking for one?” And I want to say yes because La Gran Gata seems very fleshed out, specific, and intentional. But folks, we are living in a post-Avanash world so idk what to think. (Edit: The cat does have a mini now that I’ve gotten to that but idk, that insert shot could have been shot post ep so like, who knows?)

Anyway, Emily’s entire mission objective immediately becomes saving this cat she’s vaguely aware of.  

“5E you crazy.”

The Cast, Knowing Emily just rolled a 25 and still has a 1d8 Bless in Her Back Pocket if She Needs It: Brennan, Just Ask.

The horror on Emily’s face when she realizes that she just called an attack on the cat cocoon.

So Emily goes off on a very Emily side quest to rescue a random cat but happens to unlock a very cool NPC–La Gran Gata–who is like the spirit of all the bodega cats out there. Sophie immediately calls upon the entirety of her limited Spanish skills to try and make friends with the cat, and succeeds.

The, “To arms, to arms my brothers!” thing kills me every time. Are all rats just Like That? Is that what they’re like when they’re out and about too?

Kingston rolling a nat 20 to literally walk across the store is wild.

Oh also, Pete failed a wild magic surge roll which just lets him fly. So far, those wild magic surges have really been working out for him.

Anyway, Bug Boss Becky turns Ricky into a “buff-ass” dog.

Zac playing dog-Ricky with almost exactly the same self-awareness (or lack thereof) as normal-Ricky is so funny. He’s an Akita and I was expecting Dalmatian but that makes sense too. Ricky, the very good boy, attacks Becky and–as a Sentinel–stops her in her tracks.

Emily does a ton of damage and Brennan, about to describe her attack, is like, “Are you still drunk?” Emily shuts down the opportunity to look cooler and is like, “I am a messy, drunk bitch. Describe that.” Emily isn’t here to be cool. Emily is here to roleplay.

I had never heard the word brindled before now and Brennan uses it to describe two separate animals in this ep.

Siobhan rolls a nat 20 to dispel magic on Ricky which is objectively good but also I would have loved for him to be a dog a little longer. Also, this moment makes me really, really want to get some backstory on Misty. Like, clearly there are some serious Fae Shenanigans going on with her and I need specifics yesterday.

Also, Ricky comes back with pointier ears and wolfier senses and I’m just picturing Channing Tatum in Jupiter Ascending.

Before I forget, Sophie, Pete, and Misty yoink magical items from the magic bodega within the bodega La Gran Gata opened up. Sophie’s is a magic ring that amps up her punches. Misty took a mirror and Pete took a grill (like for your teeth). Not sure what those do yet.

The fact that this whole fight wasn’t under the Umbral Arcana and there are people out there that remember is a little concerning for me. I can’t quite tell if it’s the sort of thing that will come back or more of a warning of what can happen if the U.A. goes down again.

Post-fight, Sophie asks La Gran Gata for mismatched David Bowie eyes like the cat has. Siobahn goes, “That’s what you’re gonna ask? You drunk bitch.” But Sophie has her wish granted. I’m sure that won’t raise any questions with people who have known her her entire life. 

“She’s gonna fuck that cat.”

So the fight’s over and they realize that the Key to the City is missing which I can’t imagine is a good thing.

This brings us to the RP ep, We Need to Talk About Pete, which picks up directly where the previous ep ended.

Ally and Emily go for the exact same joke of getting Guinness’s post-fight. Kingston–as a medical professional, Vox Populi, and sanest adult of this troupe–loudly objects (smacking the beers out of Pete’s hands multiple times) and wants to know what the hell is going on with the bugs they just fought.

Sidenote: Sophie took a level in Warlock with La Gran Gata as her patron because of *course* she did. I wonder if this was the plan from the beginning or if Emily was watching all her friends spellcasting and started getting the jitters from magic user withdrawal.

Murph’s “What?” face when Emily says, “I’ll be waiting, but not in an impatient, desperate way,” is gold.

They search the bodega and find a thing of 1000 Hour Energy and Kugrash gives it to Ricky over Pete’s objections. They also find Holy Grail Laundry Detergent (Kingston pays for it), The Grill I mentioned earlier (Kingston hates this), and this bagel. 

All the magic users show up. Alejandro wants an explanation pronto and everyone points a finger at Pete who explains everything in his typical, nonchalant, vague, kinda spaced out way which Alejandro is not digging at all. He starts to go off on the enormity of the situation and Pete starts dropping acid.

I’m gonna stop here for a sec to talk about how Ally is playing Pete. There are moments when I feel like Ally is doing something as a comedian for a bit. And there’s kind of a sense of, is this funny? Obviously. But what are the in game implications of this move? Like the running joke of Pete constantly being high on something is funny, out of game. But,  in game, it’s massively concerning. And I’m really curious about where Ally is choosing to draw the line between doing the funny thing and doing the prudent thing. I almost said the in-character thing but Ally made a character so consistently bonkers that whatever he does could plausibly be the in-character thing. Pete is kind of a massive disaster.

Anyway, Alejandro drives home the point that Pete’s actions have consequences and have caused actual deaths at this point. Pete’s magic is internally going wonky as he gets more distressed (I really wanted to see a wild magic surge fail here but alas). But he’s still outwardly like a 4 on the giving a damn scale when the situation is a 13 out of 10. Pete is only half listening to this because he’s halfway out the door, smoking. Alejandro plans with Kingston to discuss Pete later.

Misty, always sowing seeds of chaos, suggests Alejandro stock up on Juul pods before they stop selling them completely. Kingston hates this (this is basically his mood for the episode).  

Outside, Pete gets a text from Priya which ends with them planning a meet up for later after leaving her on read for a while. Pete dips without saying anything to anyone but Kingston who ignores him (and also Sophie who Emily hilariously guilts Ally into including out of character). Dipping on the conversation about how to fix YOUR mess isn’t the wisest move but Pete isn’t the wisest guy.  

In the meantime, Ricky does the Twilight Bark to summon a dalmatian (yes!) to help him find the stolen key to the city. Kugrash turns into a busted ass dalmatian who has trouble keeping up.

Ricky doesn’t have the plate mail armor that usually makes a Paladin so unstealthy but he is so hot as to have the same lack of stealthiness which is one of my favorite adaptations of the game for this setting. Anyway, Ricky does the superhero thing of running through the city, helping everyone with a problem along the way, and loses the key in the Financial District which smells like death (feels about right).

Siobahn playing Misty as, “Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t realize it was Emma Lazarus,” when, in reality, she was the first person who made the connection was great. S/o to ppl who separate player and character knowledge. Misty partied w/ Emma of course because she partied with every historical figure that’s passed through NYC since she showed up.

Post adventure, people need to go to their day jobs. Misty has a +10 to performance but rolling a 3 is rolling a 3. It’s not her best work. Later, her assistant brings her holly, silver, and assorted other stuff which sounds like Fae BS if I’ve ever heard it. Misty cuts her off before she can elaborate more. I know we’re getting a secret spilling episode next time so I’m really hoping we get some Misty lore because she is being frustratingly cagey. She talks so much but says so little that means anything.

Kugrash sneaks into his son David’s house (while Emily learns a rat fact she clearly didn’t want to know) and Murph  and Brennan tag team go for the proverbial emotional jugular.

Murph rolls a nat 20 on his investigate and so he gets a lot of his old files and puts together that Robert is Robert Moses–a famous historical figure in NY who I actually heard about for the first time very recently. Or maybe I should say infamous. He did a lot with NY infrastructure–especially highways–(Emily connects this to the Highway Hex immediately) and he wasn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type. His bread and butter was working the system. There’s a Pulitzer winning book called The Power Broker about how he was able to amass power and influence. I don’t know enough about NY history to run my mouth off about the guy but the little I do know is in character with his T.U.S. incarnation. Also, just FYI, irl this dude died in the 80s. So, you know. That’s interesting.

Brennan, I guess: Why invent new bad guys when history is full of terrible people I just have to give magic to?

Brennan, continuing his tradition of letting people get emotionally destroyed by nat 20s, has Murph find a crushing letter from David to Kug which was never mailed.

Note: So, as I was writing this, my video timed out right at the line, “I don’t expect this letter to find you before my funeral,” which is kinda good bc idk if this is what I need at 1 AM. Anyway, back to the pain.

The letter reveals that David has devoted his life to stopping crooks like him (Kug) and that he’s mostly upset about how his leaving has affected the younger, more fragile Wally.

“I leave the letter because I’ll remember it.” Yeah I bet you will.

It looks like Kug is gonna confront Wally next ep which I am now even more excited to see.

So let’s move onto the SECOND big gut-punch of the episode. Kingston goes down to the station to give a statement about the Santa Incident. He sees a shit elemental in a lineup which isn’t super relevant to the main events but I can’t not mention something like that.

Anyway, guess what? Kingston’s ex (Liz) isn’t dead! She’s an attorney for the justice system of The Unsleeping City and she’s pissed the hell off. During their interview, he stops the tape recorder to cuss out Kingston for going on a “date” with Misty and for getting her involved in all the magical junk which means she has to do things like fingerprint shit elementals instead of being on track to be D.A. like she originally was. The way she described it made it sound like she was press ganged into it which seems like it shouldn’t be how this works, you know? Is there no blue pill option here? Also, not to be all grass is greener but I actually am a lawyer in NY (closer to Kug’s job, minus the crime) and I would swap with Liz in a heartbeat.

The fact that anything Kingston says as Vox is per se admissible is a cool detail. 

Sophie fights an old man (Jackson) in a CVS and joins a monastery which sounds like a shitpost but it isn’t. With La Gran Gata’s blessing she is now a member of the Order of the Concrete Fist.

I saw the Staten Island joke coming the second Brennan started talking but it was still hysterical when it landed.

At the same time, Pete is getting knuckle tats because, sure. And he also goes to see Priya who I am baffled was with him for any length of time. Maybe it’s the artist thing?

Also, Sophie keeps postponing her meeting with Mario which is concerning to me. The story is still happening when you’re not interacting with it. Brennan specifically said when she texted him that she got no response which doesn’t make me feel good about what’s going on with him.

Ricky has three super jacked, fratty firefighter bros, all named John who are like woke as hell. I wish I could follow the dude around for a day because every single facet of his life is wild.

Well, this episode promised we were gonna talk about Pete so let’s talk about Pete.

The gang, sans Pete, meet up with the magical powers that be to discus the destruction the newest Vox his leaving in his wake.

Sidenote, wild that Sophie has been magic for like 15 minutes and got to go to this meeting.

Alejandro wants to know what the plan is for if Pete’s powers go off the rails again. Kingston, who has clearly seen Old Yeller, offers the most drastic solution immediately: if it comes to it, we take him out. (Cut to Ally’s “Yikes” face). Kug, Sophie, and Ricky push back on that.

Misty, hilariously (and also suspiciously), is mainly concerned about NY because she needs theater to keep happening. This woman is chaotic something and I’m not convinced it’s chaotic good yet.

Anyway, I already did my big write-up on this part of the episode, but I’ll say it again: Kingston is right. He’s harsh but he’s right. This is some Phoenix Force BS that’s happening and do you know how that arc ends (the OG one, not the million other Phoenix Sagas that have happened since)? It ends with Jean Grey killing herself so she doesn’t lose control and eat another planet. Ricky is too dangerous for his own good and he doesn’t seem to have the emotional maturity to care (or at least to care at the correct level). Like, he was a drug dealer when this started which is already not ideal. He caused a huge mess and then just bounced without trying to help fix it. He thought that a week was enough time for human casualties to be water under the bridge. Frankly, not considering the nuclear option and just having to figure out if killing him is something the group is willing to do on the fly would be the more irresponsible option.

And not including Pete in the discussion would bother me more if he hadn’t openly blown off every serious discussion people have tried to have with him so far. If he’s not going to take things seriously, it makes sense they don’t invite him to the serious discussions.

The version of this story where Pete accidentally gets a bunch of people killed, finds out what he did, cries about it for a full day, and then finds out they’re talking about possibly killing him is a story where Pete is more sympathetic imo. But still, finding out that people talked about killing you under any circumstances has got to be rough.

IMO, the order of things that should be done right now are (1) putting magical training wheels on Pete, (2a) getting Pete trained or his powers transferred if it’s possible/he wants out, (2b) either way, getting Pete into therapy (like, he needed therapy before he got magic. now it’s just a matter of life and death–besides just his own), (3) talking to Pete again about the stakes and telling him point blank but not in while heated that there’s the possibility of a scenario where his powers go out of control and you have to understand that at that point it’s a matter of saving as many lives as possible. Like, Kingston can say, with conviction, “If I go rogue, you should do the same to me.” They’re in the same boat. Kingston’s just been rowing longer. Well, similar boats anyway. I imagine the Vox Populi powers are less inherently chaotic. And maybe the knowledge that a nuclear option is on the table would make Pete not want the job or want him to have his powers muted or something. Cool. Then you have that discussion at that point. Just, these are the conversations that need to happen. And maybe his own mortality will be the thing that helps get Pete’s head in the game. 

What jewel did Ale take out of his pocket during this conversation? Taking note of that. (Juul, not jewel. Duh. Thx thethief )

Pete gets in touch w/ Alejandro’s granddaughters who tell him that Alejandro’s still pretty pissed (which is surprising to Pete but like, bro. People died). Then, Robert shows up to sweet talk Pete and show him the video (that he somehow has) of Kingston talking at the Pete Meeting. When I was watching this the first time I was like, “How long before this blows up in their face–oh, almost immediately. Cool.”

He takes Pete to his vampire nightclub and hits him with Pete’s own “I didn’t create the demand” line that you just know Brennan put a pin in to hit Pete with that Uno Reverse card.

Robert tries to get Pete to summon Nod and then just does it forcibly with some kind of blood magic when Pete is hesitant. Pete wild magic surges, kills a bunch of vamps, and Nod (super injured by being in the waking world) teleports them both to the subway.

The group (including Alejandro) meets them there so they can catch the L train to Nod but Epona shows up. And you already know from Fantasy High that Brennan is on the ACAB train (or is that AFCAB?). Epona is now wearing a crooked badge–crooked badge for a crooked cop. She wants Nod. No can do. The gang gets ready to–to quote Mr. Cubby-make some bacon while Alejandro tries to cast a spell to summon a train to Nod (the place not the person).

So I’ll see y’all next time (whenever that is) for some subway fighting and some backstory unlocking! 

[dirkgentle]

So... this Todd person. You seem to like him a lot. Why? What makes him so great? Because it seems like you’re over exaggerating him a little (a lot).

                  For a moment, the only sound is that of Dirk’s bewildered and absolutely mind-boggled disbelief. Then, in a sudden bout of insight into the utterly incomprehensible, he breaks his stream of quizzical exclamations with a laugh. 

                 “ Oh, right! I see! You’re one of those unfortunate ones who haven’t met Todd! Now, this does make perfect sense — I was getting seriously concerned for a second there! But of course. Yes. Joy-deprived waking-up-every-morning-to-a-world-that-doesn’t-include-Todd-Brotzman person speaking, that was to be expected. Not, of course, that you are in ANY way to be blamed; lots of people haven’t met Todd! Even I managed not to meet him for thirty-four entire regrettable years of my life! We’ve all been there. Such a dreadful state of mind, being unaware of Todd’s existence! You should seriously consider getting one for yourself, though NOT mine, I’m afraid he’s exclusively reserved for Dirk-ish purposes and not available for sharing, renting, kidnapping, stealing, being flirted with or ANY other objectives that make him even the slightest bit less of a my Todd. Look — why don’t you take a seat and let me elaborate? 

                 “ Todd … is … incredible. If you’ve ever felt that there’s a shortage of good things in the universe, that’s because they all went into the making of Todd. All of them. I’m sorry about that. I am, however, considerably less sorry about hogging them all to myself in a conveniently hug-shaped Todd bundle because, quite frankly, it’s an act of self-care and should not be unduly criticised. Speaking of hugs! Todd’s … well, I shouldn’t say bite-sized, but he’s certainly a snack, delectable in all the right spots and easy to carry around for some much-needed indulging. I love Todd! There’s just something about the shape of him that seems to fit immaculately against my chest, gosh, he’s the most flawless thing, though obviously he’s a person, but what a multi-functional one! He’s like … aha! A Swiss army knife of an assistant, except instead of a toothpick and a bottle opener and a little wonky bit that I could never quite work out he comes with an even WIDER array of neatly integrated qualities. For instance! His head is at once a wonderful chin rest and a place to dump ALL your forehead kisses and the most gorgeous sight since the invention of shooting stars and full of invaluable scientific knowledge and intelligence! He’s — oh, you poor person, you don’t even know! He’s sooo talented ?? To a preposterous degree, really. He knows all these outlandish minutiae about … electricity and – and car driving and growing the SWOONIEST bit of stubble that’s just right for tickly smooches and … and !! He’s a punk star, too! Oh, he’s so punk. I once saw him put on shoes without socks underneath. And he can sing! And play the guitar! He’s in a band, actually? Don’t know if you’ve heard of them, they’re only THE BEST AND MOST PROFUSELY AMAZING band ever. He’s their lead singer! To recap: not only does he sing, but he leads! He lead-sings a whole band! A whole one of a band! ” 

                 { Time to suck in a dizzying breath that swooshes all the way into the tips of Dirk’s toes, by the lung-bursting feel of it. } “ Todd looks … lovely on stage. And not on stage. Todd looks lovely on and in all stages, is what I’m saying. Even in a fresh-out-of-bed, no-toothbrush-inserted-yet, baggy-underwear-sporting stage. It’s uncanny, meaning I wholly lose my ability to can around him. He has these eyes, you know - and, oh, oh, he’s got lips, too, but not just any old pair thereof. They’re … mmm, I rather suspect he wouldn’t be TOO keen to hear me disclosing my assessment of them. We have this agreement, you see, wherein I shouldn’t necessarily overshare with strangers the sort of knee-weakening things — uh. Yes, I am getting a little side-tracked, aren’t I? Back to the Todd at hand! Well, sadly, not at hand. I ADORE holding his hand! His hands are a firm ingredient of happiness. — Hey! But I can hold these while I find myself tragically bereft of his actual presence! How very fortunate that I carry his pictures on me at all times, wouldn’t you say? Will you kindly look at them! That’s him, being an absolute  t r e a s u r e  at five twenty in the morning, can you believe it? And - oh! This shirt really accentuates what I haven’t, at this point in time, enlightened you about, but shall be thoroughly dedicating myself to in a sec’. Todd is fantastically strong! Do you see his arms? And his back? Oh, and those collar bones, and his neck, and his jawline and — ” 

                 A peculiar softening takes place across Dirk’s features, a ripple of undisguised fondness that spreads from the curl of his mouth to his besottedly slanting brows. “ He’s brave, too, you know. My boyfriend, ” he continues in a murmur, a tingle of relaxation easing into his voice now that the excited downpour has found such a willing ear to plunge into. “ Terrifically brave. Quite possibly - no, definitely definitely - the most courageous man I’ve ever known. Person I’ve known, really. Todd is … he’s so good. Few people are. I mean, not to misrepresent my perspective:  m o s t   people are good, notwithstanding popular belief. But Todd is … Todd is Todd. He’s unmatched. He’s … how do I put it? He’s always there. Al-bloody-ways. Without fail. He grabs whatever offends his sense of right and wrong by the scruff and shakes it until everything that keeps it from succumbing to common sense comes tumbling right out. The world’s better for him. I’m better for him. He was the first - the … the first person to look at me, really look at me and decide what he was seeing was worth staying for. He wouldn’t let me come to any harm, extraordinarily enough. Todd’s ( bear with me for another minute! ) … a protector of the universe, in his own manner, although heavens know it’s given him enough bullshit. But he … goes on. He’s a silver lining. He’s beautiful and loyal and unbeatable in all the right ways. Knows how to pack a punch, too. He gets me right back on my feet every time I stumble. He takes care of me. Spoils me. Makes me  s t u p i d l y  happy. And … well. ”  

                 With a sigh, the detective pockets the stack of printed-out Todds, thumb stroking affectionately across the patch of jacket that contains the bundle. “ He doesn’t know any of this. There’s never - NEVER! - been a single person more obstinately determined to slander himself than Todd Brotzman. But I … I love him. Very hair-raisingly, fanatically, irresponsibly, gorgeously much so. That he knows. And the rest … we’re going to get there, one day. ” 

“ … AND ALSO! Did I mention that he’s an out-of-this-world talented kisser ?! ”

[artemiss-draws]

How I Learned of Asexuality (And My Journey With It):

Asexuality is slightly covered in a fog of misunderstanding and confusion, as is most, if not all, of the LGBTQ+ community. In this post I will explain my own journey/type of asexuality as well as knocking down some negative things that I’ve heard people say towards asexuality. Read on if you’re curious about it, starting to question your own sexuality, or are simply a fellow asexual/LGBTQ+ community member who want to find more people like them or just want to see what other people are like.

Let’s begin! I identify as Asexual (and lean towards panromantic as well).

Imma first explain the Ace part (*Ace is a shortened term for asexual :)*).

What does asexual mean? Well I’m glad you asked! It means that sex doesn’t really appeal to me (like, with anyone). Honestly I’d rather eat dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with mis-matched fuzzy socks on while wrapped in a warm blanket watching my favorite tv show. Asexuality is different for everyone, some are staunchly against everything physical, some like limited physical activity, and there are even asexuals who DO have sex. There’s different labels for all of that. If you have some questions on that, I would suggest looking up the Ace spectrum, which ranges from demisexual (you need to have a deep emotional connection to someone if you do end up having sex) all the way to Aromantic-Asexual (Which means that they aren’t romantically or physically attracted to people usually at all) and there’s everything inbetween and beyond. Again, it’s different for everyone.

Personally, I do like cuddling and sometimes kissing (Idk tho since I’ve never kissed anyone) but for the most part, I don’t think about sex or really find it to be something I want to do. It does interest me in the aspect that its a form of showing love for a person, but I don’t really want to do it. I find that it makes me slightly grey-ace (which from what I understand, is like a sort of questioning ace, who doesn’t really have strict guidelines on their sexuality- which is okay either way, strict or non strict).

*Sidenote, this may change in the future. I see sexuality as something that’s fluid, so hey, maybe I might find myself identifying as something else as my life goes on. But for now, it’s a strong no thank you. *

You may have remembered that I mentioned panromantic, right? Well that means that I do have *crushes*, if you will. This includes celebrity crushes- for example, Tom Holland is gorgeous, Ruby Rose is an ethereal being, and Emma Watson is perfection. I think those people are absolutely stunning and even hot, but I don’t really want to do anything with them. I basically find people of all genders attractive af. There’s even people at my school who I find to be gorgeous af (it may just be their hair though… I’ll find out more as I go lol).

But that’s as far as it goes (people look pretty and I’d love to hug them, but most anything else is a no).

Now onto how I found out I was Asexual! Asexuality wasn’t something I was aware of until my freshman year of highschool. I had picked up Tumblr again, and I was starting to see a lot of LGBTQ awareness posts. I saw myself as an ally, but not much else. I remember seeing a post of all the different flags, and the Asexual one really stood out to me (I don’t know how I feel about the fact that I learned of asexuality because I found the flag to be pretty, but for now I try not to think of myself as false because of it). I researched the flag and started to learn about it.

At first I didn’t really think about how similar it was to how I felt. Honestly, I only really kept the knowledge because a friend of mine had come out as Asexual and I wanted to learn more. Over time, I started to realize that I identified as this, but I only really recently came out to friends because of the multiple comments and things that I heard and read that put asexuality down as fake.

I honestly felt like I was a fraud who was trying to insert themselves into the LGBTQ community when I didn’t need to. My best friend came out as nonbinary and pansexual, and honestly they truly helped me to become okay with the fact that I was ace.

My parents are another story, though. My parents are rather accepting of the LGBTQ community compared to the rest of society, and my mother has even told me she’s okay if I’m gay or bi. She even makes sure to use the right pronouns with my friends. But, and of course there’s a but, when I told her I was Asexual she immediately denied it.

She refuses to believe that it’s a thing and tells me I don’t need labels because that’s just sad. I’ve cried more than once over this. I can see how hard she tries, but it still feels like a punch to the gut when you’re not allowed to be the way you are around family.

My mom gets that I’m not really interested in relationships and she even defends me when my romance obsessed grandmother hounds me for information about any possible relationships I’ve had without her knowledge (still none, grandma. Please let me eat my chicken nuggets in peace). But her lack of knowledge about asexuality seems to make her doubt it being a thing.

I’ve told myself that there are others who have had it worse, and that at least my friends accept me, but it would be nice to live in a perfect world where I am fully accepted.

And to everyone reading this far, not only am I impressed, but I’m always here to talk. Literally send me a dm about ANYTHING and I will immediately jump in and start talking even if I don’t know a thing about it. I will research if I have to.

Matt just fucked everything up? Tell me more about what this idiot did and I will totally listen to you about FuCkInG SHitTy AsS MaTt. Your favorite character just died a fiery death? Give me a sec to research it and THEN IM DOWN TO RANT WITH YOU. I accept everyone, because so many people don’t, and I think there needs to be a push towards this.

Now onto the quotes I have taken from people that have been said to me and my own rebuttals-

To people who have told me I can’t be asexual and that “I need to choose a real sexuality”, Why can’t I be asexual?

“You’re too young to know” Okay, so fucking what? Being straight is as much of a choice as ace and everyone seems to accept straightness in whatever age sooo….

“You can’t just say neither!”(when talking about homo/hetero sexuality) Why not? Why does my sexuality concern you to this point?

“I thought the same way when I was your age, but I know better now.” That’s great, but sexuality is fluid. You aren’t me and I’m not you. Let me choose.

“It’s so sad you feel like you need labels.” The only reason I use labels is because I can relate to others like me and find a place for myself to fit with. (And isn’t straight a label? Just because you’re considered normal and don’t need to outright state your sexuality doesn’t mean you’re unlabeled so back the heck up and keep your heteronormative comments to yourself please and thank you).

“You haven’t even had sex anyway so how do you know?” Well, I think to myself, “does this appeal to me?” and guess what??? The answer is NO! Look, nothing past kissing and cuddling has ever really sounded attractive to me, and just because I’m 16 doesn’t mean that I have no clue what I’m talking about.

“But you like [insert name here]!” Yeah, they’re cute as fuck, but I’m not down to bang. Just sayin.

“Don’t you want kids?” Look my dude, there are so many ways now and even more will be created in the future for me to have a kid and not do the do to get it there. Pregnancy scares the living shit out of me anyway sooo. Moving on.

“That’s not even a thing.” Yes, it kinda is. There’s even famous people who identify as Asexual. Legit do some research it’s actually really interesting. Isaac Newton? Physics over physicality. (I just cracked my self up at that one haha). Anyway, historians are p sure he was Asexual.

In the end, I’m just me. Art nerd who loves sports and comics and the oddest combination of foods you could imagine. The fact that I’m asexual is just that. Another fact. And for anyone questioning if they might identify as a form of Ace, it’s okay if you later find out you’re something different. It’s okay to be Ace as well. It doesn’t define you, but it can help shape your life. If you think no one is going to accept you, just know the world is full of people who will, you just gotta find ‘em.

Whatever makes you the happiest is what you should strive for. I encourage you all to do some research! Get out there and learn! Because the more you learn, the less you fear the unknown and can finally be happy.

Toodles!

[midorichan10]

Last Game Summary *MAJOR SPOILERS*

MAJOR SPOILERS! If you don’t want to be spoiled about Last Game just don’t read this. Also, for those who are gonna spazz and post about the summary PLEASE DON’T SPOIL FOR OTHERS WHO DON’T WISH TO BE SPOILED. (There are people trust me). If you are gonna post about Last Game please use the hashtag #last game spoilers so people can block it. Thank you.

The show I went to had the liveviewing for the seiyuu greetings as well so I’ll write a bit of that after this.

Now if you want to be spoiled, please continue!!

I’ll start off with some basics. Granted being an anime adaptation they had to cut some scenes from the manga, such as Seirin practicing in the beginning so we don’t see the new first years, Akashi talking with everyone about Bokushi coming back, Riko talking about the issue with their teamwork, Kise and Kagami freaking out over Kuroko missing, Nijimura at the end (I WANTED TO SEE NIJIMURA), the “fillers” as I would call them. But I guess with the time limit they had to cut those ;n;

But now I understand the “original story” concept they added and why it’s called “Last Game” rather than “Extra Game”

Okay actual movie report. I had to try to memorize almost 3 hours worth of stuff (Movie & greetings) so I apologize if I don’t include everything but I’ll try my best.

Movie opens up with Kagami transferring to his middle school in Japan after moving back from America and joining the basketball club. He makes a dunk and accidentally knocks down someone in the process. Much like his current self, he extends a hand and apologizes as he tries to help the guy up, but the guy comments how he saw how Kagami’s face looked like he’s playing as if he was bored. Time progresses and people note how Kagami is always alone at school because the basketball club doesn’t like him. Kagami looks out a window saying it’s boring and he wants someone to do something about it.

Scene then cuts to the current time where it’s hot in the summer as Kagami walks to Seirin. Then we see Kuroko was actually behind him with Nigou in his bag saying it was his turn today to take care of Nigou. Kagami then gets a call from Alex but we don’t hear the conversation. Then we see Alex and an American coach who praises how good of a player Kagami is. Alex responds by she guarantees Kagami loves basketball more than anyone. The coach asks her if he can be expecting a “good answer” from Kagami.

Kagami and Kuroko arrive at Seirin (late of course) just before the Team Strky match begins. The news introduces Jabberwock on the screen. Seirin talks about how amazing it is for Kagetora to guide them and that’s how Hyuuga and Riko got live tickets for the exhibition match. Izuki mutters if things are “going well” for those two and Koganei mentally tells Hyuuga to be a man and “clutch” her heart. At the court, Hyuuga sneezes. XD  We see the rest of the GoM and their teams excited for the match too. Yosen in particular died seeing Okamura’s new hair haha. Hyuuga has a quick flashback to a phonecall with Kiyoshi (who’s at a hospital for rehab) how Kiyoshi’s heard of Jabberwock but has heard many bad rumors about them which Hyuuga then grows worried.

The match between Jabberwork and Team Strky begins. The animation for this was insane. Team Strky starts off strong and each member gets a turn in the spotlight, though Kasamatsu and Imayoshi get a bit more naturally. Then Jabberwork was super fast and seeing them making of fun of Team Strky was really heartbreaking. Kasamatsu offers to shake hands despite the loss but Nash takes the chance to make fun of everyone as we all know then spits in Kasamatsu’s hand. Kagetora proposes the revenge match which we all know who the members are.

The GoM arrive at the gym commenting how they never thought this would happen again. Unlike the manga where most of them were bickering with each other over Interhigh they cut that part out and just had them greet each other calmly. Kise asks Kagetora if those two were coming and he replies of course. Akashi comments how they were the ones who beat them so how could they not. Kuroko and Kagami then arrive which Momoi immediately glomp tackles Kuroko. Hyuuga, Takao, and Wakamatsu arrive as well as the bench members. They even had the scene where Hyuuga questions himself if it was okay to be there and Akashi reads his mind and tells him he’s more than welcome XD. They show a bit of the GoM practicing, like a quick scene for each character, then it cuts to the day before the match. Kagetora tells Riko and Momoi he’s going to Roppongi to watch over Jabberwocks to prevent them from going crazy which Riko worries. These scenes are pretty much teh same as the manga. Kuroko overhears Kagetora and Riko’s conversation. Kise then asks Kagami to have a one on one match. Aomine asks if anyone’s seen Kuroko and Midorima says he hasn’t been seeen since Kagetora left, which Kise and Kagami look at them blankly.

Jabberwocks are at a club and sees Kagetora arrive asking why he was there. Then they see Kuroko which Kagetora freaks out asking why he was there. (All in Japanese) Kuroko confronts Jabberwock in the same way as the manga. For censorship reasons, instead of a punch to the face Nash kicks Kuroko in the stomach before the GoM arrives. (Oh yeah they had the running scene before commenting how Kuroko is so reckless, unpredictable, etc). Akashi stops Aomine and Kagami before a fight breaks out and tells them to save it for the match as Kuroko wishes (same as the manga) and they start to leave. Jabberwock makes fun of them for chickening out which Akashi retorts back in ENGLISH, “Shut up you scum! You guys better be ready to lose. We’re gonna mop the floor with you tomorrow.”

The next day is the actual match. Seirin comments how they’re playing in a stadium which Izuki replies that Jabberwork made fun of basketball for not only Team Strky, but the entire country. So of course many people are going to come to watch the match. All the other schools are watching as well. Mayuzumi comes in too later in the match (and he talks! He just provides random commentary every now and then) The stadium is decorated with Jabberwock and Vorpal Sword banners everywhere and on the monitor it shows the Vorpal Swords member info much like the first promo they did. (It’s the same picture for Akashi as my icon for those who can’t remember which one).  Silver says in English “Hey you babies! Did you remember to put on your diapers??” The match for the most part follows the manga so I won’t go too much into detail. (ALso I just don’t remember every single thing about it or that’s worth nothing). VS starts off strong until Jabberwock starts taking them seriously. For more details on the match please just read the manga as it follows most of that, if not all. They did include all the big points though, such as Midorima’s 3 pointers, Kise and Aomine team play, Kagami teaming up with Aomine and Mukkun, Kise going into the Zone, the short Kise and Aomine Teiko flashback with Momoi crying, Aomine vs Silver, Akashi vs Nash and his Devil Eye, oh yeah BOKUSHI. Mayuzumi comments how even with Emperor Eye, Akashi was still being pushed back. They did include the scene of Kise talking to Kasamatsu telling him to win for the sake of their hard work so far and Okamura teaching Mukkun after Winter Cup. They also included Akashi and Midorima’s miracle play (same as Takao). Takao comments how he knows what’s gonna happen and he’s amazed but also frustrated at the same time. He seemed a bit sad about it ;w; Mukkun breaks his wrist like in the manga and Kuroko takes over. KUROKO WAS PISSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DAMN KUROKO YOU SCARY. For Kuroko’s comeback after switching with Mukkun, they played a new insert song, “Against the Wind” by no other than Ono Kensho! Bokushi’s farewell was done quite well. If you remember the original Yu-Gi-Oh and how you often saw a transparent Yugi talking to Yami Yugi it was similar to that. Bokushi was playing as he was talking to Oreshi who was transparent next to him, saying he needs to disappear for the Emperor Eye to be complete. Oreshi’s heartbroken face was a stab right to your own heart *sobs* As Bokushi says farewell and thank you, their fingers are briefly partly locked together before Oreshi walks away letting go of Bokushi. (Oh for you fans out there this time theyr’e actually naked). Mayuzumi notices Akashi’s change. Akashi makes use of his fully developed Emperor Eye and VS attacks Jabberwock with less than 30 sec remaining. They manage to narrow it to down by 1 point and as we know, Kuroko steals the ball and Aomine and Kagami finish it up. So very similar to the manga just much better because the ANIMATION IS AMAZING ESPECIALLY FOR KISE’S SCENES OR ANY SCENE WITH TEH ZONE.  Vorpal Swords win and everyone is happy. Mayuzumi also smiled! 

Kagetora throws them a party at his gym where he’s drunk and tells everyone to drink up! Hyuuga tells him that they’re only high schoolers but Kagetora tells them juice is okay! Momoi comments how Kagetora likes to spend money and Riko gets embarrassed asking her to forget about it. The GoM are together enjoying all the junk food (including Akashi) and Kise says he wonders what news Kagami has to say. (Oh yeah the Seirin first year trio is there too. Oh should say second year trio now). Kagami and Kuroko are seen alone in a different room looking out the window. Then we see the two of them talking with Seirin. Kagami announces he’s going back to America. They ask if it’s like the time he went back for training but Kagami says it’s different. He’s been recruited to a very good high school and will work to become an NBA player. Everyone in Seirin is shocked and tells Kuroko to say something about it (who all this time has had a sad expression). Then they ask if Kuroko knew about it the entire time and Kuroko answers yes because he was coincidentally there when Kagami got the call from Alex. Seirin was sad but they tell Kagami that they’ll support his decision. THe GoM then comes out having overheard everything. Kise comments how he noticed Kagami was acting a bit weird. Aomine sulks saying HE should be the one recruited to which Midorima asks him since when did he become “number one.?” . Everyone else in their own way expresses their happiness for kagami. Akashi tells Kagami that the GoM gives their support to him and thanks him for the matches they played against him . Akashi also says that Kagami was not only their best rival, but also their best friend.  Akashi suggests it’d be sad for Kagami to just leave like that and as the GoM they’ve already had the greatest match with Kagami, so as a farewell present for Seirin he suggests one last match. Seirin vs the GoM. Everyone is shocked and Akashi assures them he’s already prepared their uniforms in which Koganei screams “HOW FAR CAN YOU SEE INTO THE FUTURE?!?!?” Seirin asks if they’re okay playing a match and the GoM assures they have enough strength to play another game and Kise says if necessary they can use the subs (Wakamatsu and Takao) and Seirin could change out too.  We see them on the court for the Tip Off (GoM is in their VS uniforms and Seirin in their school ones) but we don’t know the outcome. Yes even Mukkun decided to play with one arm.....XD;

Then we see Kagami and Seirin at the airport. Kagami politely thanks them and he’ll do his best and becoming an NBA player will be easy for him and shakes hand with Kuroko. Being quite formal about it. Kuroko thanks Kagami and wishes him luck. As Kagami lines up to go through the gate, he starts to regret not thanking Kuroko properly and leaving with just a handshake. He runs back just as Kuroko was leaving and yells at Kuroko that he was wrong and lied and that he realized that becoming a pro is going to be difficult and he’ll struggle and that Kuroko has done so much for him and that HE was the one should be thanking Kuroko and starts crying. Kuroko with his back towards him, wipes his eyes and turns to him and says “Well of course there’s going to be obstacles. Did you really think that you could become a pro THAT easily? Struggle more” Kagami is a bit shocked that Kuroko was talking to him like that, but then Kuroko says that if it’s Kagami he can overcome them. Kuroko also starts tearing up and raises his hand in a fistbump saying he’ll always be Kagami’s shadow. Kagami smiles back and raises his fist back at him and the scene/movie ends with the two of them smiling with their fists out as they stood apart.

THE END. TIME FOR GRANRODEO’S NEW SONG IN THE CREDITS

Okay not the end. After the credits there was a short post-scene.

We see an airplane flying away and Kise says “So he’s gone huh....?”. We see the GoM together on a bench watching the plane depart outside somewhere . Mukkun says “So that means we’ll never play against Kagami again?” And Aomine  says “No way” and Midorima agrees. Aomine declares he’ll go to America. Kise asks if it’s to see Kagami and Aomine says “Of course not, BAKA! I’m gonna become an NBA player!” Kise asks when and Aomine responds that he doens’t know yet but it’ll be soon. They ask what did Midorima mean (about fighting against Kagami) and Midorima smiles and says that it’s pretty much a given that they’re all going to continue playing basketball. Akashi smiles and agrees and says that only the stage has changed and that as long as they play basketball they’ll be able to fight Kagami again. We see Kuroko running and smiling as he meets back up with Seirin who were waiting outside for him.

The ending card is very similar to the photo of Seirin winning Winter Cup. All of the Vorpal Swords members are on the court smiling raising fist bumps with a giant banner that says “Vorpal Swords,” including Kagetora, Riko, Momoi, Hyuuga, Takao, and Wakamatsu.

UPDATE: Added a bit more to the ending scenes since I saw it a second time

[loveinruins]

He literally remembers everything..

This morning I was walking out of MC I was thinking to myself that I was going to see him. Wishful thinking - but I swear the universe heard me because I felt someone gently squeezed the top of my left arm and I knew it was him instantly. Well.. also I know he either catches the same train as me or the one after so I know he usually arrives the same time I do.. so it could’ve been a coincidence. 

I turned around and smiled as I saw him, he looked so tired. I’m like hey, he’s like hey with a half smile. I was like are you ok? You look like you just woke up.. he goes I’m not feeling well at all, I’ve got a sore throat. I was like ohh ok..

So we were walking and talking and he goes I’m gonna grab a coffee, come with if you want? I was like ok, so he went to Starbucks and ordered a coffee, he goes so what happened with your license and I explained the sitch and he was like fuckkk T. I was like I know I don’t even know what to say it was my own fault like I can’t even blame anyone but myself. 

Anyway we’re in the foyer of the building and we missed the lift and of course AT was downstairs and she was like morning and smiled at us both and I responded with my fake ass smile.. anyway we got in the lift and couldn’t really talk because she was there. Ohhh and he actually held the fucking door open when we got upstairs - only because AT was there otherwise he wouldn’t have the little shit. 

He messaged me on skype asking if ccpulse was working and I just responded with nah it’s down.. and that was as exciting as our convo got lol.

I saw him briefly during first break down at safeway for a bit and he ended up walking off because MT needed cash out and he couldn’t wait because GP is such a time nazi when it comes to coming back from break on time. 

I called MT at lunch to catch up but G and her were at emporium and by the time I got there I would’ve had to come back and I heard MT asking him if he wanted to come back to catch up with me and she goes oh nah he just feels like staying here I’m like yeah all good babe. A part of me was like a bit annoyed but then I was like fuck it, good to have some space anyway. We don’t need to have lunch together all the time. 

So I was talking to Judas for a bit about work - she was being extra friendly to me which was weird af. Anyway I was outside chatting to her and then GP came down and we were just having a bit of a gasbag and I saw G and MT walk towards the building, he gave me this like sly look because I was there with Judas and I like smiled and then MT waved to me and I waved back. After my convo I just went and sat in the sun because I miss doing that on my lunch breaks since this cunt never likes sitting in the sun. 

He walked with me to get chocolate at last break and it was short but brief, he was telling me how GP was doing his head in and he just really wasn’t in the mood today because he just fell really under the weather.

Comes end of day, I see him shutdown straight away and he was ready to leave and so was I tbh, so we walked down, MT was going to come with us but then had to go meet her bf so as standard we walked down to flinders. We spoke mostly about work at the start and he had initiated conversation because I was just walking trying not to fall since I decided to wear heels to work today. 

We get to around Collins St and we started talking about how I’m a dickhead for speeding and everything bad that’s happened to me was self inflicted I’m like aaaalright I fucking get it, no need to lecture me.

So we finally get to the platform and the train isn’t stopping at Yarraman and I was like ugh I’ll drop you off and he goes are you sure? I’m like yeah whatever. He’s like sweet as long as you don’t mind. We get on the train and sit across from each other as per usual, he purposely sat in the sun for me this time. When we catch the train, he usually sits in the sun because he knows I’ll complain about it so he just sat in the sun squinting. It was a small gesture but I appreciated it. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed.

I had make up on my glasses somehow and he goes babe you have something on your glasses and I wiped it and I was like oop a bit of make up.. I was slightly embarrassed but tried to play it off.

I caught him staring at my boobs/cleavage a few times, I mean it is kinda my fault for wearing the top I was wearing but it wasn’t even that low. I kinda thought well he can’t help himself, he’s a 22 year old boy. 

We started talking about buying homes and finances and then this is where it starts to get interesting. He goes so where’d you go this weekend? I go huh? He goes bond bar? I’m like yeah.. he goes I thought you weren’t gonna go out? In my head I was like wtf ok dad lol.. I was like umm yeah it was last minute, the baker called me and was like leggo out and I was like done. He goes so did you talk to BW to hook you up with a table? I’m like yeah I did actually, we got a table and drinks and stuff, it was a really good night. He goes your mate in your snap he’s the heavy one huh? I go yeah kinda.. He goes did you have fun? I go yeah I did, it was good but we had like 10 guys and just me and B. I reckon people would’ve been like wtf.. it prob looks bad to people who don’t know us but if they heard our convo they’d know it was no biggie. He goes you sound kinda guilty.. I was like lol ok? I don’t remember what happened after that convo but we finally got to springy and got off the train.

As we were walking we had a bit of banter and he goes fuck I’m sick of your attitude, I’m not feeling well and I haven’t even said anything bad to you today fuck stop being such a bitchhh - to clarify he said this jokingly, I know he didn’t mean it, as in calling me a bitch. I’m like oh yeah what about all the times that you’re a smartass to me huh? He said something to mock me I can’t remember and we finally get to the car and he was getting smart with me and I go to him so do you wanna make your way back to the station to catch the train orrr?

He goes oh now you’re acting up because you gotta take me huh? I thought you were gonna do it out of the kindness of your own heart? Not that you have one. I laughed and I’m like whatevs.. He was saying shit to try and make me feel bad and I go why are you trying to make me feel bad for? I actually don’t care G, I really don’t give a shit. He goes you’re such a bitch, I go yeah I know sometimes.. actually most of the time he goes good you finally can admit it or something like that. When he called me a bitch and I laughed he goes oh you heard me that time and didn’t need me to repeat it. I rolled my eyes. He was trying to play victim in the car and he goes what is this song, I’m like my car, my music. 

So we start driving to his car and ofcourse there is copious amounts of traffic so we literally spent a good 20 minutes in the car because of the trains instead it should’ve been like a 10 minute car ride. During this 20 minutes I felt like he let his guide down with me a little or at least he tried to let me know that he knows that I like him or at least said that he likes me. He brought up how next time he’d let the guy play us a song (referring to the time we were on that “date” on lygon) I go wtf.. I didn’t even want him to play to us and he goes yeah well next time you can pay him $5 he was shit anyway. I go yeah because your voice is so amazing and better than his, he goes ouchhhhh. We were bantering or whatever and he went and took a snap selfie pouting and started typing a caption and the song that was playing was Let it Rain by Betsie Larkin. So the fucking smartass goes and captions it Let It Rain, Let it Pore.. He goes oi who am I? As he showed me what he had written.. I looked at it and started laughing and I go ahhh you spelt pour wrong hahahaha it’s not these pores here and used my finger to touch his cheek and I think he got a bit embarrassed because he was like ey don’t touch me and I go I’ll do what I want. He then brings up my insta and goes hey *insert my instaname* oh I see you’ve been busy on insta.. He opens my pic with the baker and likes it and opens my other pic with B and I go like my photo, he goes nah I’m liking this one because you’re smiling in it. I reached over him to try and double tap the screen to like my pic and of course with my short ass I couldn’t reach. He brings up my selfie (the one where I’m slayingggggg in Sydney) he goes babe what is this? Like seriously, what is it? I go umm I look hot there, he goes fucking girls bro and laughed and he goes what were you looking at? I go the camera obviously. He goes imagine if guys did what you girls did? I go yeah but you don’t soooo.. I go anyway you’re a fucking hater and he goes takes one to know one and I just laughed at him because what a 12 year old kids response.. seriously.

I can’t really remember but I think he brought up how he knows I want to spend all this time with him, I go umm babe glad you’re not coming to work tomorrow and we can have a break and he goes yeah I’m glad I don’t have to see you too trust me. He tried to make it out like I want to spend all this time with him all the time (which I lowkey do because he just makes me laugh) and I laughed and I go actually I’m glad you’re taking the next few days off though seriously. He was being a full smartass after that can’t remember exactly but we had a bit of banter. 

I dropped him off finally and at the end he goes I’m getting so much better at reversing parallel parking and I’m like good on you babe being sarcastic and he goes oh for a sec I thought you were being serious but you weren’t.. standard I go nah I was and I laughed and he goes yeah whatever thanks for the lift and before he shuts the door he goes don’t speed and walks off with a smirk and turns around to look at me and I just smiled and drove off.

Key take outs and reiterations from today:

He stalks my insta

He keeps tabs on what I do/where I am/who I’m with

He notices little things about me

He knows he makes me laugh and happy when he says stupid shit to me and when we banter

I know I’m going to miss him a bit tomorrow but maybe this will be good for me to have a break and concentrate on the last week of the sales cycle to try and hit my target with no distractions. I mean I can’t really say he distracts me that much because he doesn’t sit near me and we don’t have the same breaks but I will miss the afterwork company.