#and of course im also talking about
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Turns out I am weak for a canonically sexy priest. May never recover from this information.
#caught up on a catholic comedy podcast of all things. what next#forgive me!#father ben#and of course im also talking about#fleabag#hot priest
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
sunstone..? perhaps???
anon ur so real for this... they're my faves since i first played rw
havent drawn them in a loong time though so i doodled these real quick :^)
#rain world#five pebbles#seven red suns#rw sunstone#my art#also to clarify because im annoying and love overexplaining things ☝️🤓#the quote on the second pic is supposed to summarize their feelings towards the great task#and each other too of course#in that theyre kinda right to feel isolated because a lot of other iterators dont talk about this feeling of pointlessness#but theyre still being a tad pretentious here#just because people dont talk about their struggles doesnt mean theyre not struggling!#suns does understand this to a degree#but still#so much of their dialogue reads like a “you're the only one who gets me” kinda thing#okay ill stop rambling#ill never get over these two
762 notes
·
View notes
Text
The sheer amount of cunt packed into like three seconds. i love him. Thank you Liam.
#Jopson seems to NOT like Hoar and now I'm thinking maybe he suspected his mutinous thoughts. or at least heard Hoar talk about Crozier#in a negative light. suggesting he doesn't respect his leadership#which Jopson of course wouldn't stand for.#also Crozier doesn't seem to like Hoar very much either#the scoff...#maybe he also suspects something. Or you know. Jopson told him to watch Hoar. If Hoar shared some of those thoughts Jopson would rat him ou#to Crozier for sure#ignore this im procrastinating studying#the terror#thomas jopson#jopzier posting#edmund hoar#DW Hoar you're still my little pookie bear. i know you're scared and hurt and hungry and want to live
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
Max Verstappen Silverstone Interview | Can Max Be Beaten?
#max verstappen#f1#formula 1#op#everyone talks about how often max says 'of course' but just has to be up in the numbers as well#also adore that he remembers the exact number#also desperately hope he meant the vacation with martin recently#bc thats such an image#anyway don't think people are usually up bc 80% of f1blr is european but im posting this now anyway#bc hes just too endearing
942 notes
·
View notes
Text
an inch away from more than just friends
still versions thus higher quality under the cut ↴
#wendy testaburger#bebe stevens#sp bendy#bendy sp#bebe x wendy#south park#south park fanart#everyone always talks about south park yaoi. but WHAT ABOUT south park YURI#+ im a chappell lover so naked in manhattan lyrics. of course#mine#also oh my god before posting this i took a little looksie in the sp bendy tag and jesus its ROUGH out here. it did NOT take me long#to scroll back all the way to when i was posting bendy art on my main like 4 years ago :( why is there not more...
253 notes
·
View notes
Text
I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff
#some viktuuri for the soul!#my blorbos are always in my mind even if im not creating for them in that moment#they never leave <3#their eepy leepiness is a reflection of moi and i love their eepy leepiness for them i hope theyre getting some great naps#just some calm and quiet#love that for them#also this isnt the first time i draw in like two months what are you talking about?#the last art i posted totally wasnt from the 14th of march shhhhh the date on the post is definitely wrong source trust me#no but like i have been so dead for months#dont expect to see much art from me before july when my break starts and i can stop being stressed out of my mind#now i can be one of those tortured artist types except i havent done any art to communicate how sad i am#tbh im just tired i just wanna sleep#am i gonna? youre funny of course not but now i can at least pretend my awake time was vaguely productive#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix art#arom antix#viktor nikiforov#kastuki yuuri#viktuuri
159 notes
·
View notes
Text
goddd the scene in ep125 of beau finding out that the cobalt soul has been investigating her paid kidnapping after she mentioned it to dairon and are actually going to take zeenoth to trial for it killlls me. the way that beau is so shocked that someone (dairon) cared enough to look into the abuse she faced and actually seek justice for her. oh my god beauuuu ily beau 😢😢😢😢😢😢
#this also kills me because like . theyre gearing up to the big move of going after lucien to the astral sea so theyre all talking#about how they maybe (probably) wont come back#and so beau has been told that she could have justice for her abuse and be at the trial and she has to be like .. if im still alive : ( (#and then in the next few episodes veth and jester are confronted with their families being together of course#but also cad finally finally gets to see the grove safe again and his family again . and then they all have to leave ..............#ok . dies. matthew mercer is attacking me. beating me up and punching me one hundred times#them thinking they have to turn down happiness . to save the world in a way that no one will ever hear abt .. .the sacrifice...#tmn u will always be famous to me#kiddo say
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ford my pretty princess....
(Reblogs over likes)
#doot#digital art#doodles#gravity falls#stanford pines#young stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#i have 2 constantly grip the sink and stare into the mirror n repeat to myself that its ok 2 like teen ford cuz im. also a teen. crazy righ#metaphorically of course. im not actually looking at myself for that long#what am i talking about
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ride 795: The peak of their limits!!
Pag 1
2: Isn't there anything I can do?
3: Listen to him
4: You don't have to say anything back, you can just nod
5: Just listen to his nonsense
6: Like always
8: To... Toudou-san
Pag 2
1: He'll arrive soon
2: In just a few minutes he'll pass on this road right before our eyes
4: There's no need to stay back
5: Right now, he's fighting
6: He's running against his rival for “the last kilometer”....
His muscles are aflame, he's wiping away his sweat, and his body is screaming
Pag 3
1: His limbs are numb because the blood isn't flowing until his extremities
His heart rate is at its limit, his body feels like it's in danger and is trying to stop moving
2: He's fighting against his own body that's trying to stop, and against his rival who's moving forward
It's the “peak of their limits”
3: The peak of... their limits
4: That's the fight he wanted
5: Watch him closely
Call out to him with me and he'll be happy
6: Don't worry
Racers recognize even the quietest voice
And then
Pag 4
1: they can turn them into power!!
Pag 5
1: Sooreeeee
2: 700m left until the mountain line!!
They're lined up!! They're neck and neck!!
So close!
Pag 6
1: 600m left!!
2: The race passes through the intersections with Mt. Hiko's trailhead!!
Goo Hakogaku!!
Don't lose, Chiba!!
They're neck and neck!!
Pag 7
1: Neither of them is stopping!!
Pag 9
2: So much sweat is falling on the road!!
3: They're passing through the last intersection and then will face the final gate
4: They're entering a narrow road!!
Pag 10
1: 500m left!!
2: They're still pedaling!!
Pag 11
1: Since earlier my fingers in my right shoes
2: keep getting cramps
3: The blood isn't reaching their tips
4: It's not, but
6: I'll keep turning my legs!!
7: I'll tighten up my shoes to reduce the pain!!
Pag 12
1: Mountain King tightened his shoe's dial!!
Woah he's serious!!
2: What does it mean!?
Biking shoes have a dial
3: During a long race, cyclists' feet get thinner, so they turn their shoes' dial up to tighten and secure their feet in preparation for the final dash
Wire
Depending on the direction you turn the dial, it tighten or become loose
4: In the scene of European races, it's something cyclists do a lot to prepare for the race before the finish line!!
5: Is Mountain Kind going to attack here!?
But right now it looked like he was trying to avoid the pain in his leg
Pag 13
1: This is bad!!
It's not just my fingers
My arms have lost feeling too when I'm dancing
3: But it's okay, it's just right
My legs are moving
4: And you're next to me!!
We're still fighting!!
Pag 14
1: If my arms won't move then I can just swing my bike from my shoulders!!
Pag 15
1: Manami attacked again!!
Amazing!
He's going!!
2: In the hardest section!!
He's leaving Mountain King behind using his dancing!!
Pag 16
1: He's opening a gap between himself and Sohoku's Mountain King!!
3: Mountain King is in a tough spot!!
4: He instinctively dropped his head!!
Pag 17
1: Try to have fun, Onoda
4: Races are hard
5: When your opponent accelerates in an unexpected moment, when the attack is stronger than you had imagined
6: Remember
Pag 18
1: You can't win a race without going through tough times
2: Teshma-san....
3: “Just before” means that there are many options
Like, will my opponent get exhausted? Could he make a mistake? You'll be thinking like that
4: Surprisingly, victory or defeat depend on these little things
Pag 19
1: Well, that's just my advice though
I actually always end up slowing down at critical moments, and so I lose
2: That's not true at all!! At this year's Inter High it was Teshima-san who won the mountain prize!! Thank you so much for that!!
I get it, I get it
3: Well, you're an earnest person and won two times already, so it's like I'm preaching to the choir
4: But there are times when you're weak
5: I've seen that many times too
9: During a race, when it's “just before”, just remember this
10: When there is both a hard road and an easy road
Pag 20
1: Don't hesitate to take the hard road!!
2: Right now for a moment, I was thinking “why am I going now” and “when it's hard to breathe”!!
Pag 21
2: My chest hurts!!
3: My legs hurt!!
4: But still!!
6: I'll choose what to chase!!
Pag 22
1: Mountain King is accelerating and chasing!!
Aaaaaagh
4: Sangaku!!
5: I'm ready!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 795#junta my looooveeeeee#the way i screamed when i saw that page ;A;#i miss him so much PLEASE#i love that onoda thinks about him#like he really is a mentor for onoda somehow and i just love that so much#also also i love how onoda clearly is a bit of an expert in road racing now#like it makes perfect sense i know but we never actually saw him learning all this stuff#(im talking about the shoes thing)#and of course he had three years almost to learn but#the fact that he's so professional now is making me cry#IM SO PROUD OF HIM OKAY#MY SON#anyway i dont want this race to end yet ;A;#but im afraid we have at most another two chapters ;A;
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
343 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jimmy antagonized Curly throughout the game and he never said anything against him.
Curly couldn't stand up for himself, he could have never stood up for Anya.
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#im thinking a lot about this game#Curly never managed to put his foot down against Jimmy#and never made a decision either#he was so unfit to be captain#maybe he was kind overall but in situations that needed a stronger force#someone that says something he just couldn't do it#and we see that at the birthday party and in the hallway#jimmy keeps talking over him and he could have never managed to make a proper case for anya#its heartbreaking#im also thinking of how fish is made#where that parasite says “i ate his tongue and we're coworkers ever since”#how much of jimmy working there was really Curlys wish and how much was Jimmy talking himself in#he clearly knows how to manipulate people#thats not an excuse for his actions of course#he messed up#and its not just jimmy#the company gave them daisuke#and the tulpar was not fit to house 5 people#and curly does say in game#that he should have made more of a fuss#but there too#he couldnt say what he thought
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okayyyyy yeah also let's talk about Tammy. I didn't know how I felt about her for awhile because she did very much feel like the Disposable Black Girlfriend, but I'm seeing people saying she's an "abuser" or God forbid "just as bad as Kevin" and that's just. Not at all true.
Yes, Tammy is controlling. She doesn't seem to really like Patty for who she is, and kind of seems to want to change her into someone else instead. HOWEVER, I think we need to look at the whole character to understand WHY she's like that. I don't think she's controlling Patty for personal gain or for the sake of manipulating her. I think she's lonely and desperate for companionship, which leads to her ignoring/pushing past the obvious incompatibility in her relationship with Patty.
Here's what we know about Tammy:
1. She seems to be the only black person in the Worcester social circle. She also mentions frequently how she's surrounded entirely by white men at work.
2. She is also the only openly lgbt person in the area, other than Patty, who is still not exactly out and proud.
3. She describes her entire job as "making excuses for" and "cleaning up after" the men at her job, particularly her partner (whose name I am unfortunately forgetting, does anyone remember?), who even had her plant evidence for him on at least one occasion.
4. Despite being very competent and good at her job, the white men around her keep failing upwards (she mentions a few times that people beneath her keep getting promoted) while she remains stagnant in her career. There doesn't seem to be any explanation for this other than the fact that she is a black lesbian in an extremely white, conservative community.
Basically, Tammy seems like someone who has been taught (like many black women) that she will have to work much harder than everyone else to get ahead in any capacity. She is also likely very, very lonely. She doesn't seem to have any friends outside of work, which isn't surprising given the above. It seems like she doesn't exactly have a ton of prospects, dating-wise, other than Patty. In my opinion, it's really no wonder that she clung to Patty so desperately and immediately and tried to forcibly mold her into someone who could be compatible. She's tough, smart, organized, direct, manipulative, no-nonsense and controlling because, well, she had to be. And she ends up trying to "rein in" Patty because, in her mind, what's the other option? She ends up alone, surrounded by men who force her to cover for their antics and don't care if she lives or dies.
I'm not saying her behavior is healthy. But it comes from an entirely different place than Kevin's abuse, or Chuck's, or even Neil's. And it's also not uncommon. In real life, I know many queer women (specifically small-town lesbians) who end up in relationship dynamics just like that over and over again because they start dating someone who doesn't quite fit, and they compensate for it by trying to force a connection instead of accepting loneliness and isolation. I have a lot of sympathy for Tammy. And I wish the show had taken more care to establish the abuse she faced from her coworkers off-camera.
#tammy ridgeway#kevin can fuck himself#kevin can f himself#patty oconnor#basically i think tammys story is about the perils of girlbossdom for black queer women#and theres a lot to be said about the fact that she chose to be a cop. we dont know anything about her home life or childhood or anything#other than that she grew up in worchester (?) which i think she mentions one time#but like the black lesbian cop trope is so overplayed due to sitcoms fundamentally not understanding why 'diversity' is important#and like im sure her character was meant to kind of lampshade that phemonenon#but i think its so interesting to look at characters like that and ask WHY they ended up in that position#in tammys case i think it was definitely trying to 'rise above her stature' and basically force people to actually respect her#not that it worked of course. it never does#and she had to become a tool of the oppressor in the process#ill talk about sam later because hes also a really interesting case study on race in sitcoms and the way poc are framed#but these are my thoughts for now. this show has gotten my analysis brain buzzing again and i feel alive for the first time in months
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask
Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???
Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.
BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-
The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.
There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.
But above all else THE LYRICS
ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE
"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"
DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.
It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.
#Call me Sir Pentious cause Im crying like a baby over here.#WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS GEM FROM ME. THIS ABSOLUTE DIAMOND#I didnt even mention lyrics like “I've been dying to find out who you are. looks like the apple doesnt fall far.”#“You are a part of who I am” “you are the only thing worth fighting for” that just BREAK ME#but oh well#BTW of course I was gonna watch and become obsessed with Hazbin Hotel. I am a theater kid that loves animation. It was like meant for me#could do with a little less obsenities but thats alright its a staple of the show#On another note I almost went insane when I found out lucifer was Jeremy Jordan.#Like its insane how that man always ends up in my obsessions. Newsies. Tangled the series. The Death Note Musical#(Im team L btw in death note but GOD Jeremy's singing made me reconsider for a milisecond in Where's the justice he is just THAT GOOD)#Erika I knew from the mean girls musical which I also deeply enjoy#its Insane the Talent this show brought in. my theater kid heart is ELATED#Last thing is I gotta say I LOVED Lucifer#Like I thought I was gonna hate him because everyone was talking about charlie's daddy issues#I thought he was gonna be neglectful and manipulative#BUT NO. He is a silly (little) father who just loves his daughter but doesnt know how to show it#And had DREAMS and AMBITION and fate in humanity. And he is just such a fun character to follow I had such a riot with this episode#Hazbin Hotel#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#charlotte morningstar
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.
another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!
farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.
but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.
but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.
but the important thing is this.
farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.
farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.
the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.
as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.
but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.
and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.
to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).
to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.
and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?
but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.
the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.
so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.
#saltburn#farleigh start#i think someone mentioned how the race commentary was fleeting in that scene abt his mom but i disagree#it runs thru the whole movie#because oliver is white and because they're pitted against each other#im not saying its the best commentary ever and also like the movie is not about it at all#but it's there and it's pretty prominent#also on a completely different note can we talk about how oliver correctly assumed everyone at saltburn desires him carnally#dude pulled all the bitches by being strange and off-putting. i mean i completely get it. completely get it. i'd fold so fast you've no ide#also while i was writing i realized that yes indeed both farleigh and oliver perform for felix and its so fascinating#and it works for oliver because of course it does because hes white#anyway! again! let me know if this sucks#in like any way at all#i needed a masterpost of all and every thought i have about farleigh#i think this pretty much covers it so i'll let it go now#HES SO. like do you UNDERSTAND#the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative but i LOVE that he survives#as he SHOULD#emerald is so right. he does come back and quickstart just torture each other in that house forever. besties for life#god im gonna shut up now this is so horrendously long#mine#saltburn journaling
176 notes
·
View notes