#and of course i had to assign songs to the other members

[childrenofcain-if]

After knowing that C and MC were in the same high school, I'm rooting even more for them. I'm also guessing C's confusing feelings for us in their route is them liking us since school? That's so freaking cute 🥰🥺

Can I ask for a scenario where they have a group project with other people and one of them gets very flirty with MC? Will C let that slide, I wonder 🫤

the diner sat on the corner of a street that tried its hardest to look charming but failed, the neon sign buzzing faintly against the rain-streaked window.

it was one of those places that seemed plucked from a movie set: vinyl booths, chrome napkin dispensers, and a jukebox in the corner that hadn’t worked since the last century. the smell of grease hung heavy in the atmosphere, mixing with the faint sweetness of syrup from the breakfast specials they served all day.

you sat in the booth, tapping your pen against the edge of your notebook, watching the door with mild dread. when C walked in, you knew the meeting was about to get infinitely more complicated.

C spotted you immediately, their sharp chalcedony green eyes narrowing like they’d been assigned a particularly irritating math problem. they weren’t dressed for the rain, but their aldervale prep blazer was immaculate, not a drop of water on it, as though the universe had conspired to shield them from the rain outside. although, you guessed it was most probably because of the black umbrella that they were carrying.

C slid into the booth across from you without a word, placing a pristine leather notebook on the table. their pen—silver, of course—clicked once. twice. a quick rhythm that made your teeth itch.

“you’re late,” you said.

“i’m exactly on time,” C replied, their voice clipped like the word ‘time’ had too many syllables and they were doing you a favor by saying it quickly.

your two other group members—darcy and lowe—arrived moments later, looking both nervous and excited, as though they’d stumbled into the VIP lounge of a club they didn’t belong to.

darcy, her backpack practically bursting with highlighters, was vibrating with energy. lowe looked more like they’d been dragged here against their will, though their eyes lit up when they spotted the milkshake menu.

you exchanged pleasantries, ordered drinks, and got down to business.

the topic was seattle, your city, and you were supposed to collectively dissect and analyze for the sake of some interdisciplinary project that combined geography, economics, and, for reasons you still didn’t understand, poetry.

“seattle,” you began, flipping open your notebook, “has many layers to it. you have the tech billionaires building spaceships on one side and grunge bands writing songs about the end of the world on the other. i think we should focus on how those contradictions make it unique.”

“that’s pretty reductive,” C cut in, not bothering to look up from their notebook. “seattle’s economy is primarily driven by tech, aviation, and trade. if we’re going to present a meaningful analysis, we should focus on its economic impact on washington state as a whole.”

darcy and lowe exchanged nervous glances. you clenched your jaw.

“not everything has to be about numbers, lacroix,” you said. “people care about stories, not spreadsheets. we can talk about the economy, sure, but we should start with what makes the city feel alive. the art, the culture—”

“and completely ignore the practical context?” C’s gaze lifted then, their expression somewhere between exasperation and boredom. “that’s like writing about a chess game and leaving out the strategy. completely pointless.”

“it’s not exactly pointless if it makes people care,” you shot back.

the argument spiraled from there, gaining momentum like a runaway train. darcy and lowe sat frozen, their eyes darting between you like spectators at a particularly intense boxing match.

“maybe we should, uh, toss a coin?” darcy offered weakly, her voice barely audible over your bickering.

C smirked, pulling a coin from their pocket as though they’d been waiting for this moment to occur this whole time. you selected tails and they flipped it, caught it, and slapped it onto the back of their hand.

“heads,” they announced, triumphant.

you groaned. “of course.”

“don’t be a sore loser, starkid,” C said, their tone practically dripping with smugness. “we’ll just have to do it my way this time.”

“fine,” you muttered, slumping back against the booth.

the tension eased slightly as the waitress arrived with your food—burgers, fries, and milkshakes that lowe declared were ‘the best in the neighbourhood’ despite never having tried any others.

you talked about school, about the upcoming math test and the cafeteria food which had reduced in quality after some new kitchen staff got employed. darcy was surprisingly funny, and lowe had a good bank of knowledge on obscure sports trivia.

C, however, remained quiet. they ate slowly, like each bite was a boring task to be completed. their posture was rigid, their eyes rarely leaving their plate.

it wasn’t until the conversation turned to favorite places in washington that you noticed something shift. darcy was talking about summers spent hiking in olympic national park, her voice full of nostalgia. lowe mentioned a family road trip to mount rainier.

“so, lacroix,” you said, turning towards the grumpy brunette. “penny for your thoughts?”

they blinked, clearly startled that you’d addressed them directly. “i... i’ve never been to any of those places.”

the table fell silent. even darcy looked surprised.

“seriously?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

they shrugged, their gaze fixed on the condensation dripping down the water glass. “i haven’t lived in washington as long as you all have. besides, i’m not exactly the adventurous type. i just… don’t see the point of, you know, wandering around aimlessly. it’s not like the city’s going anywhere.”

darcy, being the idealist she was, tried to lift the mood. “well, maybe you should visit some of those places one day! olympic’s amazing—especially the hoh rainforest.”

C didn’t respond. they just nodded, their lips pressed into a thin line.

for a moment, you felt something almost like sympathy. C, the untouchable perfectionist, didn’t seem know how to belong in places like this—in diners that smelled like burnt coffee, in conversations that meandered without purpose. they were as out of place here as a chessboard at a football game.

you then frowned, something tugging at the edges of your chest. you remembered hearing something once—maybe in passing, maybe during some rare moment of C opening up in class—that their parents had divorced when they were ten. that they’d moved to seattle from rochester, new york, with their mother, who worked long hours and didn’t have time for much else.

you didn’t know why you said it. maybe it was the way their voice had dipped, the way their composure seemed dulled. but the words came anyway. “maybe we could all go somewhere. for the project, i mean.”

C’s head snapped up, their green eyes narrowing like they were trying to decipher a riddle. for a moment, you thought they were going to say something cruel—an insult that’d have you getting angry again. but then their gaze softened, just a fraction.

“why?” they asked, the word almost inaudible.

you shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. “i don’t know. it might help. plus, you can’t live like a hermit forever while you’re at washington.”

they stared at you for what felt like a long time, their expression unreadable. then, to your surprise, they nodded. wordlessly, awkwardly.

you thought you saw something flicker across their face then—something like a smile, small and fleeting, gone almost as quickly as it came.

for the rest of the meeting, C avoided your gaze. and as you all filed out of the diner, the rain starting up again in soft patters against the window, you found yourself wondering why you’d even offered.

but the truth was, you already knew. sometimes, your heart reached out before your brain could catch up. and for reasons you didn’t fully understand at the moment, it had reached for them.

the day began under a gauzy layer of mist that hung low over seattle. the clouds seemed reluctant to rise and the air carried a faint, damp chill.

lowe’s BMW 5 smelled faintly of peppermint gum and an air freshener that promised ‘ocean breeze’ but delivered something closer to what you’d find at a more eccentric section of bath & body works.

you sat on the passenger seat, your elbow resting against the door, the window cracked open to let in the air. darcy and C were in the backseat, the former preoccupied with her camera, snapping pictures of the dashboard, the sky, and the brunette beside her, who looked like they were already regretting agreeing to this trip.

the car wove its way through the city, past coffee shops with hand-painted signs and streets lined with rain-slicked trees.

lowe, ever the conversationalist, started talking about the destination—a landmark tucked away in one of seattle’s greener corners. but at some point, the conversation shifted, becoming less about the destination and more about you.

“y’know,” lowe said, their voice taking on a teasing lilt as they glanced at you, “i’m really happy we’re doing this. i was always curious about how it’d be to hang out with you outside of school”

you blinked, caught off guard. “um, thanks? that’s nice of you to say.” you gave them a polite smile, the kind you might offer a friendly cashier.

C, sitting stiffly in the backseat, was less amused. they had been glaring at the back of lowe’s head for the past ten minutes, their jaw tight, their arms crossed. every tap of lowe’s fingers, every casual joke, seemed to grate on them like nails on a chalkboard.

darcy, oblivious, was busy snapping pictures with her camera, capturing the rain-slick streets and the way the trees blurred as the car sped past. she hummed under her breath, the shutter clicking steadily, her energy so light and cheerful it was almost its own soundtrack.

finally, C, who had been silent up until now, shifted in their seat with a sharp huff.

“lowe,” they spoke up, their tone clipped, “maybe focus on the road instead of hitting on that idiot right in front of us.”

you squawked in indignation at being called an ‘idiot,’ not exactly getting what else they were implying.

meanwhile, lowe startled, their hands tightening on the steering wheel. “what? i wasn’t—” they caught C’s glare in the rearview mirror and quickly relented. “right. sorry. road. eyes on the road.”

you glanced back at C, confused by the sudden shift in the mood. their jaw was tight, their arms crossed over their chest, and they avoided your gaze entirely. you thought about asking what their problem was but decided against it. the day was too early, and you didn’t want to start bickering already.

the destination turned out to be kerry park. you stepped out of the car and stretched, looking around with a grin. your group followed suit and, after taking your backpacks, trudged up the steep streets of queen anne.

the park was small, unassuming—just a sliver of land carved into the hill, a place where the city stretched out beneath you like a quilt stitched together by architects, lovers of symmetry, and disarray alike.

from here, seattle wasn’t a city so much as a panorama, framed by the wide arms of the sound and the occasional, fleeting glimpses of mount rainier, pale and insubstantial like the ghost of a mountain in the distance.

the rain hadn’t yet started, though the air smelled of wet concrete and petrichor, gave you an indication that it wouldn’t hold off for long.

darcy had already pulled her camera out, its strap slung around her neck as she wandered a few feet ahead, her voice rising and falling as she described the perfect angles for her shots. lowe was by your side, gesturing dramatically at the view as if they were a tour guide instead of a co-conspirator.

C, who had followed at a distance and was now leaning against a nearby rail, their arms crossed and their face set in a scowl.

“lacroix,” you called over your shoulder, your tone light, inviting. “you should come and look around with us. it’s cool.”

they raised an eyebrow, their expression unimpressed. “thrilling, i’m sure.”

lowe shot them a weird look but said nothing, their attention soon snapping to follow darcy on her photoshoots.

you turned fully to face C. “you don’t have to be so grumpy, you know.”

“i’m not grumpy,” they snapped grumpily.

you sighed, letting it go for now. instead, you wandered over to the railing where they stood, resting your elbows on the cool metal as you gazed out at the view.

“this place means a lot to me,” you began, glancing at C. they didn’t respond, but they didn’t walk away either, so you took that as permission to continue.

“when i was little, my dad used to bring me here. we’d spend hours looking at the birds. he had this old, beat-up field guide he carried everywhere. i still remember the smell of it—old paper and leather. he’d flip through it so fast, trying to identify every bird we saw. i think he liked the challenge of it.”

C’s features softened, almost imperceptibly, as they listened.

“there was this one time,” you said, your voice growing warm with the memory, “we saw a bald eagle perched on one of the trees. it was so close, you could see the feathers on its chest ruffling in the wind. my dad was so excited, he nearly dropped his binoculars in a muddy puddle.”

you laughed. C smiled. it was not their usual arrogant smirk, but something too genuine to be described without it being an understatement.

even darcy noticed as she was snapping pictures of passers-by under the railing where you and C were leaning against.

from behind her camera, she whispered, “i think i just saw a miracle,” before snapping a picture.

in the photo, you were looking up at the sky, your face alight with wonder. and beside you, C was looking at you—not the sky, not the birds, but you. their expression was so unguarded, so tender, it made darcy pause, her finger hovering over the shutter button.

“and it’s not just the view or the birds,” you continued, your voice picking up momentum as you spoke. “there’s this whole history to it. did you know the park was named after albert sperry kerry? he was this big real estate guy in the early 1900s. probably bulldozed a lot of land to make a fortune. but this place? this tiny slice of the city? he gave it back. said he wanted people to have a place to breathe, to see things differently.”

you glanced over at C, expecting the usual sardonic remark, but they were watching you with an expression you didn’t expect—soft, almost eager, like they could never get tired of you talking about things like these.

“i guess i just like thinking about that,” you said, your voice trailing off as you turned back to the horizon. “how even someone who takes and takes can give something so beautiful.”

for a long moment, neither of you spoke. then, quietly, C said, “you really are a nerd, aren’t you?”

you laughed, the sound bright and unexpected, and while you didn’t have C laughing alongside you, you had a distinct feeling that they were too distracted by a certain someone to do so.

lunch was a quiet affair. you all sat on a damp wooden bench overlooking the trees. you plopped down beside C without a second thought, your shoulder brushing theirs as you unwrapped your sandwich.

C stiffened, their gaze flicking to you in surprise.

“you don’t mind, do you?” you asked, already halfway through your first bite.

they shook their head, though they looked puzzled, as if trying to understand why you’d willingly sit next to them when lowe was right there, still buzzing with laughter after a joke darcy shared with them.

“thanks for listening to me earlier,” you said softly.

C cleared their throat, their voice rough when they replied, “no problem.”

you still gave them a smile despite their (apparent) surly mood before turning back to your sandwich.

C looked down at their own food, their expression unreadable, but there was a faint hint of pink dusting the tip of their ears.

maybe, C concluded, the whole practical aspects of the project could take a backseat for now. it seemed like they didn’t mind focusing on the people of the city after all—or maybe it was just this infuriatingly intelligent seattle native that they couldn’t stop smiling for.

you wondered if the extreme makeover crew ever came to take darcy’s house as an inspiration for a lot of their renovations. it was a gleaming two-storey in a neighborhood where the lawns were manicured to within an inch of their lives and the houses all had names like “birchwood” or “côte d’azur.”

her parents were insanely successful real estate agents and it showed in every detail, from the perfectly symmetrical hydrangeas flanking the front door to the wrought-iron chandelier hanging in the entryway.

her room was a microcosm of the house itself: spacious and spotless. honestly, it made you want to take your shoes off just to avoid dirtying the carpet.

the walls were painted a muted teal, lined with shelves holding an army of books and a smattering of knick-knacks from trips abroad. there was a citrus-like scent around, and her plush white comforter made her bed look like a stratocumulus cloud.

you all sat cross-legged on her floor, laptops and papers spread out in a semi-circle as you planned out your presentation. ‘soren’ by beabadoobee was playing from darcy’s bluetooth speaker and the conversation was punctuated with bursts of laughter—mostly lowe’s loud, carefree chuckles and darcy’s softer, chiming giggles.

C, true to form, sat slightly apart, their long legs folded under them, their expression guarded but not unkind. they were listening more than talking, as always, their gaze darting between everyone like they were trying to keep up without wanting to look too interested.

“okay, but what if we start with the history of seattle, like the gold rush and all that, and then connect it to how the city evolved into this tech hub?” you suggested, glancing at C for approval.

the green-eyed brunette nodded once, their expression unreadable. “that works. it gives us a narrative to build on.”

lowe sidled up to you with an encouraging smile. “you’re always full of good ideas. i swear we’re going to ace this project at this rate.”

you laughed lightly, not catching the undertone. “it’s a group effort, lowe.”

“yeah, lowe,” darcy said, rolling her eyes in an annoyed manner from her spot near the window. “you’re really laying it on thick.”

you tried to smile it off but you couldn’t help but notice that she seemed almost... angry at lowe about something. the latter, on the other hand, was not meeting her eyes at all.

as if that wasn’t weird enough, you caught C stiffening out of the corner of your eye, their fingers tightening around their pen.

the awkwardness simmered quietly for a while, manifesting only in the way C’s responses grew shorter, their gaze darting less toward the group and more toward the window, where the rain streaked against the glass.

it wasn’t until lowe leaned closer to you, their voice dropping just enough to feel pointed, that the tension finally broke. “y’know, if you ever want to grab coffee or something after all this, i know a great place near pike place. it’s got this cozy corner that’d be perfect for—”

“i’m getting some water,” C announced abruptly, standing so quickly their chair scraped loudly against the floor.

the room fell silent for a beat as C walked away, their footsteps echoing down the hall. darcy glanced at you, then at lowe, and then back at you.

“you should go talk to them,” she said softly.

“what?” you asked, surprised.

“just... go,” she urged, nodding toward the door. “i think they need to hear from you.”

you hesitated, your gaze flicking between the door and the others. but there was something in the way darcy looked at you, a quiet insistence that made you realise the urgency she was feeling. besides, with the way she turned her attention to lowe with a scathing glare, you did not want to get in between whatever they had going on.

so you stood, mumbling something about being right back, and headed for the kitchen.

you found C by the sink, their back to you, their hands braced against the counter. the faucet was running, though the glass they were holding was still empty.

“hey,” you said tentatively, stepping into the room.

they didn’t turn around. “what do you want?”

“i just... wanted to check on you,” you said, your voice faltering. “you looked kind of... i don’t know, upset?”

C finally turned, their chalcedony green gaze indecipherable and cagey. “i’m fine. you can go back to lowe now. you two were having such a great time.”

their tone was harsh, and it made you blink in surprise.

“what are you talking about?” you asked, genuinely confused.

C rolled their eyes, the motion exaggerated, almost theatrical. “don’t play dumb. it was obvious you two were flirting.”

you sighed, caught between disbelief and frustration. “we weren’t flirting. that’s probably just how lowe is. they were just being friendly.”

C let out a short, humorless laugh, the sound more of a bark. “you’re an absolute dunderhead if you believe that. lowe wasn’t just flirting for fun—they meant it.”

you felt heat rising to your face, your irritation bubbling over. “okay, first of all, stop insulting me. and second, would you please stop ruining everything with your assumptions.”

C flinched, just barely, but it was enough to make you pause. their voice dropped, colder now. “maybe i should’ve asked the teacher to switch groups. if my presence bothers you that much—”

“maybe you should have,” you shot back, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “then maybe we wouldn’t have to deal with you being a burden all the time.”

for a moment, the kitchen was deathly silent except for the faint patter of rain against the window. C’s face twisted, not with anger but with something closer to hurt, and you immediately regretted what you’d said.

“okay,” they said quietly, their voice flat. “i’ll let myself out then.”

before you could say anything, before you could take it back, they were already walking up to the front door and reaching for their umbrella, their movements mechanical as they stepped toward the door. the rain outside had picked up, a relentless downpour that blurred the edges of the world.

you wanted to say something, to fix the fracture you’d caused, but the words wouldn’t come out on time.

C stepped into the rain without hesitation, the door clicking shut behind them. you stood frozen, the echo of their retreating footsteps mingling with the sound of the storm.

your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides as you stared at the front door. you wanted to curse. to rewind the last five minutes and unsay every single word.

you ran a hand through your hair, muttering something unintelligible under your breath as you paced. your foot caught on the corner of the coffee table, and in your aggravation, you stumbled forward, knocking over the pile of photographs darcy had laid out so carefully.

“great,” you muttered, crouching down to gather the scattered pictures.

they were glossy and vibrant, capturing moments from your trip to kerry park just two days ago. you hadn’t paid much attention to them before, but now, as you picked up photo after photo, a pattern began to emerge.

in nearly every image, C was looking at you.

your fingers froze on a picture where their smile was so open, so completely unlike their usual self, that it felt almost like intruding on a scene you weren’t supposed to see. their dimples were unmistakable, softening the sharpness of their features in a way that made your heart skip a beat.

in another photo, they were standing slightly behind you, their chalcedony green eyes focused entirely on you as you pointed out something in the distance, completely oblivious to their adoring attention.

for a moment, you just sat there on the floor, staring at the pictures, the edges of the glossy paper dampening under your trembling fingers. then, as if pulled by an invisible string, you stood.

darcy had made her way to the living room and said something as you made for the door, but her words were lost to the roaring in your ears.

the rain hit you like a wall as you stepped outside, cold and relentless, soaking through your clothes in seconds. but you didn’t care. your feet moved on instinct, splashing through puddles as you ran down the street. it was a foolish thing to do, running in a storm like this, but every step felt like it was carrying you closer to something you couldn’t name but desperately needed to reach.

you didn’t know which way C went exactly, but you had a feeling.

and then, through the curtain of rain, you saw them.

C was standing under their umbrella, their posture stiff as they glanced down the street. the soft glow of their phone screen illuminated their face, but they weren’t scrolling or texting. they were waiting for an uber, probably. or maybe just waiting for the storm to pass.

you skidded to a stop, breathless and drenched. when they turned and spotted you, their eyes widened incredulously like you’d just teleported there.

“what the hell are you doing?” they demanded, their voice rising over the rain as they speed-walked up to you, umbrella in hand. they immediately held it over both of you, shielding you from the worst of the downpour. “have you finally lost your mind? you’re going to catch a cold!”

you were out of breath, your chest heaving as the water dripped from your lashes, but you didn’t care. “i’m sorry.”

C blinked, their mouth opening slightly as if they were going to argue, but you kept going. “i’m sorry for what i said. i didn’t mean it. you’re not a burden, C. i’ve never ever thought of you like that. the truth is—”

your words caught in your throat, the weight of them almost too much. but you forced them out. “the truth is, i’ve had a great time doing this project with you. i really didn’t mean any of it—about switching groups, about ruining things, you being a burden. i’m glad we got paired together, even if you drive me completely insane sometimes.”

“are you done?” they asked gruffly, though their tone lacked its usual edge.

you nodded sheepishly, your heart hammering against your ribs.

they sighed, lowering their gaze for a moment before meeting yours again. “i had a great time too. you... you made me see the city in a way i never had before. you made me appreciate it. i...” they sighed, “i was being too stubborn and i shouldn’t have given you a hard time with everything. and... i don’t mind your company, even if you’re way too dense sometimes to see what’s in front of you the whole time.”

the sincerity in their voice made your breath catch. right now, all you could do was stare at them and bask in the warmth they made you feel.

you admired the way their dark brown hair curled slightly at the edges, damp and clinging to their skin. the way the rain caught in their lashes, making their chalcedony green eyes glow as though a thousand hues were shifting like sunlight through sea glass. the way their fair skin seemed to glow faintly in the dim light, the sharpness of their cheekbones, the curve of their lips, soft and slightly parted.

they shifted under your gaze, their cheeks suddenly flushing pink.

“what?” they snapped. “why are you ogling me?”

but you didn’t answer. at least not with words.

before you could second-guess yourself, you stepped forward, leaning in until your lips brushed against theirs in a kiss that felt as inevitable as the rain falling around you.

C froze, their eyes wide in shock and disbelief before they pulled back, their fingers flying to their lips.

“i’m so sorry,” you blurted out, the heat rising to your face as you realized what you’d just done. your heart was sinking in absolute shame. “i—”

but before you could finish, C let the umbrella drop to the ground with a soft clatter. rain cascaded over both of you as they grabbed your face with trembling hands as they surged forward, their lips crashing against yours in a kiss that left no room for doubt.

the world seemed to fall away in that moment, leaving only the two of you, your hands tangling in the fabric of their rain-soaked sweater as their fingers threaded themselves in your wet hair. it was cold, sure, but their kiss was warm, searing, as if it had been waiting to catch sparks all along.

your clothes were drenched and your hair was practically plastered to your face, but it didn’t matter. nothing else mattered.

it wasn’t until the honk of a car horn shattered the moment that you finally broke apart, both of you panting as you turned to see the waiting uber that C had previously booked.

C’s face turned crimson as they also turned to look at the car, their expression mortified and exasperated at the same time.

“putain,” they muttered under their breath before grabbing your arm and their umbrella. they then shut it quickly and tugged you toward the vehicle.

the uber driver, to his credit, said nothing as you both slid into the backseat, though the faint twitch of his lips and the knowing look he gave you two in the rearview mirror didn’t go unnoticed.

“could this day get any more embarrassing?” C asked as they crossed their arms over their chest, staring determinedly out the window.

“uh huh,” you mumbled, still in a daze from what just happened.

“that was my first kiss, you know,” C muttered.

you turned to them, still not registering their words. “you’re so gorgeous.”

C scowled, their blush deepening. “shut up, you dolt. you’re not even listening to me.”

but when their hand crept over to cover yours, you couldn’t stop the goofy smile that spread across your face.

[ducktoo]

Office Antics

Yena x Reader

Note: Recently rewatched Hyemileeyechaepa and man I missed 2/3 of Jo Yuriz. If you haven't watch it yet I really recommend yall to do it!

Here's for fellow resident duck.

The office was alive with the familiar hum of keyboards and the occasional ring of phones. It was another Monday morning, and as usual, you were the first one at your desk, sipping a subpar instant coffee you’d made from the breakroom. The workday ahead promised to be a mountain of reports, client proposals, and dreaded spreadsheet formatting—tasks that demanded focus. Yet, your mind wasn’t on the work.

No, your thoughts were fixated on a certain someone who had yet to show up.

Choi Yena. Your supervisor. The office’s resident prankster. The embodiment of chaos wrapped in pastel blazers and a permanent grin. She was always the last one to arrive but somehow managed to make her presence known instantly, turning even the dullest workday into a whirlwind of noise and mischief.

You were halfway through organizing the team’s task list for the day when the elevator doors dinged.

Speak of the devil.

“Good morning!” Yena’s sing-song voice bounced off the walls as she burst through the door, holding two iced coffees in her hands. Her grin stretched wide as she plopped one down on your desk.

“Iced Americano for my favourite team member,” she chirped.

You raised an eyebrow, instantly suspicious. The last time she gave you coffee, it was spiked with salt instead of sugar. “What’s the catch, Sunbae?”

Her eyes widened in mock offense. “No catch! Can’t a supervisor just be nice to her hardworking team?”

“Not when that supervisor is Choi Yena,” you shot back, narrowing your eyes.

She gasped, clutching her chest as if wounded. “Wow. The lack of trust here is unbelievable. I’ll have you know that I’m turning over a new leaf. No pranks today, I swear.”

You weren’t buying it, but the coffee smelled too good to resist. With a cautious sip, you confirmed it was safe. No salt, no hot sauce, no glitter bombs waiting to explode. Yena watched you expectantly, her lips twitching like she was holding back laughter.

“What?” you asked, already bracing yourself for whatever she had planned.

“Nothing!” she said, a little too quickly, before skipping back to her desk.

-

Work officially started at 9:00 a.m., and the day unfolded like any other. You were in charge of preparing the weekly task overview—assigning smaller chunks of projects to each team member while flagging urgent deadlines.

The first task on your list was compiling data for the company’s quarterly performance review. You groaned inwardly, knowing the amount of cross-referencing it would require.

“Hey, sunbae, can we talk about the client feedback report for the Kim & Lee project?” you called over to her.

“Of course,” she replied, spinning her chair dramatically before walking over to your desk with her usual exaggerated flair. “Let’s tackle this head-on. Serious Yena-sunbae mode: engaged.”

You slid the draft report across the desk. “The issue is with the client’s notes on the second phase. They’re asking for an entirely new cost analysis, and we’ve got a two-day turnaround. Can we reassign some of my other tasks?”

Yena leaned over, scanning the document with a furrowed brow. For once, she was genuinely focused. “Hmm. Good point. Let’s offload some of this to Eunji and Sungho. I’ll handle the final approval.” She gave you a thumbs up. “Boom. Delegation, baby.”

-

By mid-morning, the office had settled into its usual rhythm: the quiet clatter of keyboards, the hum of printers, and the occasional buzz of phones. You were elbow-deep in Excel, trying to fix a formula that some long-forgotten coworker had created to "streamline" the quarterly financial summaries.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

“Why does this formula look like someone coded a secret message?” you muttered, leaning closer to your monitor. You had just started unravelling the mess when—

“Ya, ya, yoohoo!” Yena’s voice broke through your concentration, startling you so badly you nearly toppled out of your chair. She was suddenly looming over your desk, holding up a packet of snacks like she’d just discovered gold.

“Want some dried mango?” she asked, dangling the packet in front of your face.

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “…Sunbae, do you even work here, or are you just here to disrupt me?”

“Excuse me, I’m your supervisor. Disruption is part of my job description,” she said with a wink. “But seriously, how’s it going with that finance thingy?”

“It’s not a ‘thingy,’ it’s a nightmare,” you replied, gesturing to your screen. “This formula makes no sense. It’s like someone deliberately made it as complicated as possible.”

“Let me see,” she said, pulling up a chair beside you. She squinted at the screen, then immediately leaned back, shaking her head. “Yeah, nope. That’s a you problem. I’m more of a ‘big picture’ kind of gal.”

“Wow, so helpful,” you deadpanned.

“Hey, I didn’t say I couldn’t help in other ways!” she chirped, pulling out her phone.

“Oh no. What are you—”

“Shhh. I’m solving your problem,” she said, cutting you off as she started typing furiously. A moment later, she grinned and held up her phone. “Ta-da!”

You squinted at the screen. It was a meme about how Excel was designed to make grown adults cry.

“Very funny,” you said, but a small smile tugged at your lips.

“See? I’m boosting morale. That’s like, half my job as a supervisor,” she said, patting you on the shoulder before skipping off to her own desk.

-

Five minutes later, the printer jammed.

“YENA-SSI!” someone from the design team shouted.

She popped her head up like a prairie dog. “What? It wasn’t me!”

“It’s always you!”

“I take that personally,” she said, hopping up from her chair and making her way to the printer. “I’ll have you know, I’m a model employee. Watch and learn, folks.”

You glanced over just in time to see her dramatically roll up her sleeves, as if she were about to perform life-saving surgery. She yanked open the printer tray, dug around for a moment, and triumphantly held up the offending piece of paper, which was crumpled beyond recognition.

“Fixed it!” she declared, tossing the mangled paper into the trash.

The printer whirred back to life, and the team gave her a half-hearted round of applause.

“Thank you, thank you,” she said, bowing theatrically. Then, as she walked back to her desk, she sprinkled star-shaped confetti onto the floor behind her like she was leaving a trail of breadcrumbs.

You sighed, already knowing who would be tasked with vacuuming it up later.

-

At around 10:30 a.m., Yena made her rounds through the office. She stopped by everyone’s desk, offering unsolicited advice and handing out snacks like a chaotic fairy godmother.

“Eunji, you’re overthinking that layout. Trust your instincts!”

“Sungho, great job on the client emails, but maybe use fewer emojis next time. We’re professionals, remember?”

When she reached your desk, she leaned over your shoulder and whispered, “Still fighting the Excel file?”

“Yes, and it’s winning,” you replied without looking up.

“Want me to call IT?” she offered.

“I am IT,” you said flatly, earning a laugh from her.

“Well, when you’re done, come see me. We need to prep for the Kim & Lee client pitch. You love PowerPoint, right?”

You groaned. “You’re evil.”

“Evil? No, no. I’m effective,” she said with a wink before disappearing into the break room.

-

When lunchtime rolled around at 12:00 pm, the office buzz quieted as everyone scattered to their usual spots. Some gathered in groups to eat at their desks, while others slipped out for fresh air or made a beeline to the cafeteria. You decided to head to the break room to escape the endless spreadsheets and give your eyes a break from the glaring screen.

As you stepped inside, the smell of warm food hit you immediately—ramyeon, fried rice, someone’s dubious reheated fish—and in the middle of it all sat Yena, perched on the counter with her legs swinging, humming a tune to herself.

“Ah, my loyal team member!” she greeted dramatically, raising her half-eaten kimbap like royalty. “Come to dine with your favorite supervisor?”

You rolled your eyes but smiled as you made your way to the fridge to grab your lunchbox. “Favorite by default, considering you’re the only supervisor I report to.”

She grinned. “Still counts.”

You settled at the table, peeling back the lid of your leftovers: some rice, grilled chicken, and steamed veggies. Simple, nothing like the variety of colorful side dishes Yena always seemed to have. As if on cue, she hopped off the counter and slid into the seat across from you, pushing her kimbap container into the middle of the table.

“Want some? I made it myself.”

You eyed the kimbap warily. “What’s in it?”

“Rice, seaweed, veggies, and unconditional love,” she said with a wink, holding out a piece with her chopsticks.

You raised an eyebrow. “Unconditional love, huh? Sounds suspicious coming from you. sunbae.”

She gasped dramatically. “Wow! Can’t a supervisor just share her lunch without being accused of foul play?”

“Not when that supervisor once put chili powder in my tteokbokki.”

“That was one time!” she protested, pouting.

“And what about the fake soy sauce prank? Or the time you switched the sugar with salt?”

Yena bit her lip, clearly trying not to laugh at the memories. “Okay, fine, maybe I have a history, but I swear this kimbap is safe. Scout’s honour!”

You stared at her for a moment, debating whether you should trust her. Finally, you gave in, cautiously taking a piece from the container. It looked normal enough. Taking a slow bite, you braced yourself for some hidden twist—but to your surprise, it tasted great.

“See? I told you it’s good!” Yena said triumphantly, clapping her hands together. “I’m not just a prankster. I can cook well.”

You shook your head, chewing thoughtfully. “Fine, I’ll admit it. This is actually... really good.”

Her face lit up like you’d just handed her a trophy. “Knew it! Now I feel validated as both your supervisor and a good home cook.”

“Don’t push it,” you warned, but there was no bite to your tone.

The two of you ate in relative peace for a few minutes, the easy banter filling the room. Yena kept sneaking pieces of your chicken when she thought you weren’t looking, and you retaliated by stealing some of her kimbap. It was a rare moment where she wasn’t causing chaos, and you found yourself genuinely enjoying her company.

But, of course, this was Yena. The peace was never meant to last.

“So, about that trust thing,” she started, her voice taking on an innocent lilt that immediately put you on high alert.

“What about it?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“Well…” She reached into her bag and pulled out a small plastic spider, dangling it in front of your face with a mischievous grin. “You’re not scared of these, are you?”

Your glare could have cut through steel. “Sunbae, I swear—”

Before you could finish, she tossed the spider onto your rice. You jolted back, startled, only to realize it wasn’t moving. Fake. Of course, it was fake.

“Relax!” she said between bouts of laughter, clutching her stomach. “Your face—oh my gosh, I wish I’d recorded it!”

You picked up the spider and tossed it back at her. “You’re unbelievable. Can’t even make it through lunch without pulling something, can you?”

She dodged it with ease, still giggling. “What can I say? It’s my love language.”

“Your love language is being too nice,” you sarcastically muttered, shaking your head.

Yena just winked, stealing another piece of chicken from your plate. “You’re lucky you have me to keep things fun.”

-

The office was quiet as the clock ticked closer to quitting time. Most of your co-workers had already packed up for the day, leaving you and a few others burning the proverbial midnight oil. Your focus was on the final edits for the Kim & Lee proposal, your fingers flying across the keyboard as you updated figures, corrected typos, and double-checked client specifications.

The spreadsheet in front of you was practically your baby at this point—a meticulously crafted, formula-heavy masterpiece. Losing it would be catastrophic.

As you clicked to save your progress, the screen suddenly froze. Your cursor vanished, replaced by a spinning wheel of doom. Then, without warning, the screen went blue.

You blinked, momentarily stunned.

The iconic blue screen carved deep into your tired mind; the haunting words lingered:

“CRITICAL SYSTEM ERROR. ALL FILES DELETED.”

Your heart stopped.

“No, no, no, no!” you muttered, panic bubbling to the surface. You frantically clicked the keyboard, your mouse, anything to undo the apparent catastrophe. Nothing worked. The message continued to flash, taunting you:

“ALL FILES DELETED. SYSTEM FAILURE IMMINENT.”

Your pulse was racing. Everything—hours of work, detailed charts, carefully formatted tables—gone in an instant. You’d have to start over, and with the deadline looming, that wasn’t just inconvenient; it was impossible.

“Why now? Why me?!” you groaned, your voice echoing in the empty office. Sweat prickled the back of your neck as you opened Task Manager, desperately trying to shut down whatever program had caused this.

That’s when you heard it—a barely stifled giggle.

Slowly, you turned your head, eyes narrowing.

“Yena-sunbae” you said, your voice low and dangerous.

Behind you, Yena stood just outside your cubicle, clutching her phone and biting her lip to keep from laughing. Her shoulders shook with barely contained glee, and her face was turning red from the effort of holding it in.

“What did you do?” you demanded, your tone sharp enough to make her flinch—almost.

That was the wrong question because it sent her over the edge. She exploded into laughter, doubling over as if you’d just told the funniest joke in the world.

“Your face!” she managed to wheeze, tears forming in her eyes. “Oh my gosh, you should’ve seen your face!”

“YENA,” omitting the formality, you shouted, standing up so fast your chair rolled backward.

“It’s—it’s just a screensaver!” she choked out between fits of laughter, holding up her hands in surrender. “Relax! Your files are fine. Everything’s fine! I saved it already!”

You froze, your panic slowly giving way to disbelief—and then anger. “A screensaver? You nearly gave me a heart attack for a screensaver?”

She nodded, wiping her eyes. “I couldn’t resist! You’ve been on edge all day, and you were so focused—it was too perfect!”

You stared at her, torn between throttling her and collapsing into a puddle of relief. “Yena, I swear, if you ever—”

“I’ll never do it again, promise,” she interrupted, holding up three fingers in a Scout’s honour gesture. Then she ruined it by snorting with laughter. “Okay, maybe not never, but not anytime soon.”

Your glare could’ve melted steel. “You’re lucky I didn’t actually lose anything, or I’d be writing the longest HR report of my life right now.”

“Aw, come on, don’t be mad!” she said, stepping closer and placing her hands on your shoulders. “It was funny, admit it.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you grumbled, sitting back down and trying to calm your frazzled nerves.

“You’ll laugh about it later,” she said confidently. Then, after a beat, she added, “...Maybe.”

You huffed but couldn’t stay mad at her for long. This was Yena, after all. Chaos was her default setting, and you knew what you were signing up for when you started working under her.

“Alright,” you sighed. “But you owe me dinner. And drinks. Good drinks. None of that cheap stuff.”

“Deal!” she chirped, already bouncing on her heels. “Let’s go! My treat. No pranks this time, I promise.”

She linked her arm with yours, dragging you toward the elevator. Despite yourself, a small smile crept onto your face.

With Yena, your life might’ve been unpredictable, messy, and occasionally terrifying—but at least it was never boring.

Even though you wanted to quit halfway through because of her antics.

[champion-of-love]

thinking about pink squad being the resident party throwers in ever after and all the shenanigans they get up to when planning

in the books, briar had the position of social throne on the student council (or something similar cant remember) so i just know that she has 100% memorized all the forms and steps on procedures on throwing events at eah.

apple wishes she has the same mastery as briar in paperwork. the girl can do budget proposals, logistical planning, role assigning, and etc in her sleep and thats not exaggerating.

(true hearts day being held in secret was an exception since grimm shot the event down as cupid suggested it. all their other events are approved by the school and grimm himself is going crazy trying to find a reason to reject their request but cant find a flaw in briar's event proposals.)

cupid is 'their guy' if they need anything. no matter how weird, how rare, how obscure, cupid knows how to get it. she just knows where to get it or knows someone who can get it for her ;)

girlie always has a delivery incoming to the point that blondie knows how to fake cupids signature so she could shoo away all the delivery birds that come to their dorm room because they need cupids signature before they could drop off their package.

hopper's their distraction guy. while he's not as charismatic in his human form, he's got a silver tongue in his frog form.

it isnt only just grimm who falls for hoppers made up play, but every teacher and professor falls for it too because he's just that good. made up plays, clubs, assemblies. he knows how to lie well enough that any school offical believe the lies coming out of his mouth.

(i know theyre teens still, but you cannot convince me that no one is drinking at any of these parties. theres no pressure to drink at all but the option's there if you wanna get loose and have a lil buzz. they're eventually going to drink alcohol in the future in balls and dances and such, so why not learn about their personal tastes and tolerance in alcohol now?)

the biggest hurdle in the pink squad's goal of getting happily ever wasted is, unfortunately, apple.

apple is a rule follower to her very essence and while she does go to the parties, she is against underage drinking. (but she's drunk on power all the time, okay jan.)

they figured out that the solution is just to always have a bowl of apple juice out in every party so that apple wouldnt know there's alcohol being served. they noticed that unless there wasnt any apple juice out, apple wouldnt try out any other drink. so with a bowl charmed to never run out of a.j., the students of ever after are free to drink as they please.

(i love the hc that ginger is also part of the pink squad, so im gonna give my hc of her in party planning as well)

ginger is their food and snacks girl. she makes the best food ever perfectly themed to the party that theyre throwing. from heart cakes on true hearts day, light finger food for the rager parties, to five course meals on their more classy events, ginger's got them covered. sometimes, she gets too conscious about what other people think of the food that she forgets to enjoy herself, but the pink squad drag her out of her funk and get her to have fun anyways

not members of the pink squad but people who sometimes help out

melody - the best dj in ever after! she uses these events sometime to test the reception to some of her upcoming songs before she releases them

daring - being blackmailed by cupid to act as a medic in case someone gets hurt. (this is also partly based on my cupid and daring friendship fic hjdjskr). he's the best in rescuing damsels, whats a drunk teen of not a damsel? (he's actually really good at giving first aid tho)

darling - security! they do have bouncers and such, but if anyones getting too rough at a party, they can get darling and a look from her gets the troublemaker running in fear or apologizing profusely

blondie - apart from committing forgery in cupid's name, she also gets the word out on her mirror blog when they have an event happening soon!

[sj-ficrecs]

fic rec 16!

SO! i haven’t been reading fic in a long time bc i’ve been reading books BUT, discovered this fic rec in my drafts from 2022 lol oops!

This is purely a fic rec blog, always reblogging fics I enjoy. usually Bucky x reader, sometimes Steve x reader, Chris Beck x reader, etc. So check out more I’ve reblogged on this page. :)

PREVIOUS FIC RECS HERE! // Q & A

Bucky x reader:

A Correspondence of Obligations by @pellucid-constellations prince!Bucky x princess!reader

“ Obedience, duty, pristine smiles—raised as the princess of an oppressive kingdom, you knew nothing else. Your father signed your life away at the ripe age of five, black ink bleeding into a contract between nations, fate cemented with the flick of a quill. So when the time came to fulfill the promises you were too young to make, you expected much of the same in the land of Brookshire. But Prince James had other plans, as did the enemies looming outside the castle walls.”

Sky Full of Song by @wkemeup pirate!Bucky x pirate/siren!reader

“Despite the bitter resentment of the crew, you found a home on Captain Barnes’ ship; on the ocean where you belonged, at the side of a captain you swore loyalty and heart to. But when course is plotted for a legendary island, the secret that has kept you alive for years is threatened to be revealed.”

Starting Gate by @navybrat817 motocross!Bucky x reader

“You attract the attention of your coworker's friend who just happens to be a handsome racer who plays for keeps.”

Oath by @softlybarnes (part of the Sugar series but can be reader alone) 40s Bucky x reader

“Bucky finally proposes to Y/N.”

Awake My Soul by @foreverindreamlandd​ Bucky x reader (Zombie apocalypse au)

“It’s been five years since zombies first started walking the Earth, destroying anything and everything in their wake. Now, in this apocalyptic world, fighting for survival comes as naturally as breathing. The one thing you’ve learned ever since they arrived, though, is that the living can be so much more dangerous than the undead. When you stumble across two young, scared boys lost in the woods and being chased by walkers, you go against your better judgment and help them to safety. Little did you know that helping them would lead you to Bucky - an angry, grumpy, distrusting member of the camp Shield. Bucky has zero interest in having you enter his life. He’s been hurt before and lost too many people to risk experiencing that kind of pain again, and he knows that there are secrets you aren’t telling the group. Yet, when push comes to shove, and you’re put at risk, he’ll stop at nothing to keep you safe.”

No Such Thing by @sanguineterrain college athlete!Bucky x reader

“You’ve been assigned to write a column for your school paper on the team’s spectacular running back. You don’t care very much for your university’s football team; you just can’t understand the hype, okay? Turns out your distaste for football bigheads was exactly on point: James Barnes is insufferable.”

Appointments by @buckycuddlebuddy Bucky x reader

“bucky barnes, finally being able to live freely in 21st century, accidentally gets a fuck buddy and starts to rediscover himself. the only weird thing about this situation is that you have to make an appointment to get railed by him.”

Recipe for Disaster by @seventven dad’s best friend!Bucky x reader

“your dad’s best friend bucky knows you have a crush on him. your parents invite him to join your family for the annual winter vacation”

In the Embers by @foreverindreamlandd Firefighter!Bucky x Fem!Plus Size!Adopted Rogers!Reader

“Bucky Barnes. The boy next door. Your brother’s best friend. The guy you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember. Unrequited, that is, seeing that he only thinks of you as a sister (at least, that’s what you always thought). It’s been about a decade since you’ve returned home and reunited with the boy - now man - with stunning blue eyes and a smile that still puts a million butterflies in your stomach. You never expected to come back, thinking that you’d spend the rest of your life as a famous artist in Los Angeles with your boyfriend/manager. But things change, life gets messy, and now you’re back in your childhood bedroom living with your mom and working at the townie bar to make ends meet while you try to figure out what the hell to do next. The one thing that hasn’t changed? Bucky Barnes is still the boy next door, and there’s no running from him this time.”

Love in Four Acts by @chouettedubois neighbor MCU Bucky x nurse!reader

“You’re a nurse living in Brooklyn. You’ve got a crush on your next door neighbour who doesn’t seem to know you exist. One day his cat finds its way into your apartment, forcing you both to finally meet. That’s when you learn that he’s James Buchanan Barnes, ex-Winter Soldier. Well, there goes your chances. Or maybe getting close to a superhero isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds.”

Plaything part one + two by @captain-buckyyy virgin!Bucky x reader

“bucky’s innocence is just too much for you to resist”

calamitous love series by @classylo princess!reader x commoner!bucky

“Reader is a modern princess under immense pressure to marry before she takes the crown, she choose her Prince Charming four years ago… but he didn’t choose her back. He left her with a broken heart and her kingdom to rule alone. Four years later, reader is in an arranged engagement with a man who she can see herself loving… one day… everything seems to be falling into place until her original prince shows up at her engagement party determined to win her back before her wedding day.”

Not Even a Little by @intrepidacious roommate!Bucky x reader, modern au

“The problem of living with Bucky is that he makes it impossible not to fall in love with him. Even though you could list several hundred reasons why it’s a bad idea. And you have.”

Followed You by @cwbucky Bucky x reader

“You meet this guy named Bucky through Instagram. Even though neither of you knows what the other person looks like, you two immediately connect. Things get complicated when you start your new job at Stark Industries and you catch a glimpse of the handsome Sergeant Barnes.”

Matched by @nony-bear Alpha!Bucky x omega!reader

“Bucky Barnes always dreamed of settling down with a mate but after decades of trauma leaving him a grumpy old man with a robotic arm he’s convinced no one could love an alpha like him. Begrudgingly he follows his therapist advice and enrolls in the Swan Program a mate matching program offered but the new aged bio-tech company Mate-Tech”

Body Talk by @boxofbonesfic trainer!Bucky x plus size!reader

“You’re determined to come out of this breakup a better you, but Bucky likes the you you are.”

King in Your Story by @sinner-as-saint viking!Bucky x princess!reader

“Everyone in your father’s Kingdom knows that the Vikings often raid the castle’s warehouses. They take anything they want. Food, gold, weapons. Although they never seem to hurt your subjects. But you had had enough. Given your training, and your need to defend your Kingdom, your father agrees to let you trap the Vikings and bring them in for negotiation because this habit of theirs needs to be stopped. You hated the Vikings, and you thought you always would. Until the moment you met a pair of blue eyes which made your world stand still. Bucky was the Chief of his people; muscular, rough and tumble, and arrogant. Not to mention a shameless flirt, and he got on your nerves the most. But you knew it from the very day you laid eyes on his very handsome face that no matter how hard you tried, some part of you couldn’t fully hate him, nor resist him - even if he was the rival.”

Oh Baby, Oh Baby by @tooearlyforthis Bucky x reader

“As a new recruit, y/n isn’t allowed to go on all the missions yet. To make matters worse, they left behind another, someone that she had despised ever since she first stepped foot in the compound - James Buchanan Barnes.”

Before You by @m4tthewmurd0ck prince!Bucky x baker!reader

reader is a baker who happens to work at a shop the royals enjoy getting baked goods from :)

Steve Rogers x reader:

Rising Tide by @pellucid-constellations surfer!Steve x reader

“A relationship built up from the ocean floor, you and Steve had lifetime worth of memories—most best friends did. But things were beginning to change, unspoken feelings creating a rift that cast a shadow over the bond you called home. Unfortunately for you, rip currents are often hardest to spot in the dark”

[do-it-uncomfterbl]

Fallout 4: Where is the Lone Wanderer?*

*a vague conspiracy theory which doesn’t actually answer the question at hand. We all have our own ideas of how the lore should go, and I’m sure yours is very canon-compliant and valid, but this is mine and I have support for it. Looooongpost.

First off: What do we know about the canon Wanderer?

We know they activated Project Purity (or had a companion do it) without the FEV and were inducted into the Brotherhood. We know they’ve met with MacCready (you can’t finish the game if you don’t), and he has dialogue indicating they had further contact. They also took the Brotherhood’s side at Adams Air Force Base.

We don’t know what happened with The Replicated Man, but since the canon Wanderer appears to have good karma, and info from 4 implies Zimmer’s disappearance was more recent than ten years ago, it seems likely they took the boring ending, which secures their membership in the Railroad.

Why aren’t they in Fallout 4?

The Doylist answer is that they’re highly customizable, and so they have no canon appearance, personality, gender, etc. But in-universe? Something happened.

“Accepting outsiders like yourself has proven disastrous in the past.” - Kells

“I've seen other soldiers come and go. Some were brave, some were honest... hell, some were even downright heroic.” - Danse

“Every doctor I've talked to was worthless. [] I don't need them... I need someone like you.” - MacCready

When Duncan first got sick, “someone like you” would have meant the Wanderer. This suggests (to me) that they’re not in the Capital Wasteland anymore. But they’re certainly not in the Commonwealth either.

The weird thing is that the Lone Wanderer is all over this game - they’re the namesake for a male hairstyle, a perk, a DCR song, a motorcycle brand… and the codename of Deacon’s mission to save the Railroad from certain destruction by recruiting the Sole Survivor.

Someday We’ll Find It, the Deacon Connection

Oh yeah, I’m going here. Desdemona’s terminal entries confirm it was always Deacon’s plan to get you onboard and use you to destroy the Institute. There are Railroad lookout posts near 111/Sanctuary and Red Rocket, and of course he followed you in Goodneighbor, Diamond City, and Bunker Hill (at least). His court jester vibe hides it a bit, but he’s manipulating you more than he’s manipulating Desdemona in the intro scene. And do you notice he rarely gives you a firm verbal disapproval unless you’re hurting the Railroad?

What could have caused Deacon’s interest in you, unless he’s made the connection between you and the Lone Wanderer? He’ll vouch for you if you haven’t accomplished anything yet, or even if you’re a Brotherhood member. A Pip-Boyed stranger emerges from a vault in the middle of a crisis, gaining friends, skills, items, and special abilities at a suspicious rate? Probably with the same gender and playstyle as the previous one? Heck, when he first heard the rumors, he probably thought you WERE the Lone Wanderer.

There are other indications the Railroad has been in contact with them — Desdemona mentions the Capital Wasteland as their primary destination for synths, and Deacon references Harkness’s recall code. If you refuse to pick a codename, Desdemona even assigns you “Wanderer.”

So what happened, then?

I think the answer lies with the Brotherhood, specifically in Deacon’s hatred of them. Sure, ideology is enough to hate them for, but Deacon sure seems suspiciously happy if you nuke their base of operations. (Some of) his comments on that:

“The Brotherhood... well, I met them on an op in Capital Wasteland a few years back. But now with Elder Maxson... Let's just say, not a fan.”

“That bastard Maxson really screwed them up. The Brotherhood used to be the good guys. Well, goodish.”

[Who’s Elder Maxson?] “He’s a piece of work, is what he is.”

And on his time in the Capital:

“Did I ever tell you about the time I was in Capital Wasteland? Now there's a tale.”

“Capital Wasteland. Exports: purified water, some decent tech, oh, and an insane suicidal cult that worships radiation. Thanks, guys.”

“I miss Capital Wasteland. You can actually drink the water there.”

And a few lines I’ve decided (with no evidence) directly refer to LW:

“Last partner I had wound up going... well, a little insane. I think it was all my show tune medleys.”

[After Maxson orders you to hunt Danse down] “See? This is what the Brotherhood's really about.”

And my favorite: “I’ve been looking forward to kicking the Brotherhood’s teeth in. I owe them.” This line comes before Glory is killed, so he’s not referring to that. The Brotherhood only recently arrived in force in the Commonwealth. He’s talking about something that happened in the Capital Wasteland.

So Here’s What Might Have Happened:

In early 2286, Deacon moves to the Capitol Wasteland for awhile, probably to get a face change and lay low for a bit. He contacts the Lone Wanderer, who has barely heard from the Railroad in nine years. They begin to work together.

(In context, this journal entry looks like he’s somehow gathering intel to predict when Vault 111 will open, but I can’t think of a way for him to get that information or know why it’s important, so I’m not going to believe it just yet.)

The Wanderer is still a knight, maybe a paladin. Maxson has been elder for 2-3 years and is monitoring the Institute. Meanwhile, the Lone Wanderer and Deacon are setting up infrastructure to receive escaped synths.

And then the Brotherhood finds out about one of the safehouses. With their limited understanding, they believe that the Institute is holed up there and attack. The Wanderer intentionally throws the mission — maybe disobeys orders, maybe downs a vertibird or collapses a subway tunnel, or maybe even attacks their brothers to protect the synths.

And, well-

Either they were killed, or they escaped court martial and execution by a hair’s breadth and fled the Capital, leaving Deacon to believe Maxson had them killed.

There you have it. That’s why they aren’t in Brotherhood dialogue or records. Their accomplishments couldn’t be recognized because they’re a traitor. And that’s why it’s personal for Deacon.

[burningred1989]

VOGUE COVER

A/N: Last Part of “She”

While preparing for his Vogue cover shoot, Harry was told to wait as the team finished with another model. To his surprise, the photographer assigned to paint his nails and photograph him turned out to be her.

She | Part 2: Cherry Scented Vinyl Shop

MASTERLIST

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Two days later, Harry was driving to a studio in downtown LA, his mind still preoccupied with the girl from the vinyl shop. Their brief interaction had been replaying in his head on a loop—the way her cherry-red lips curved into a smile, the way her laugh sounded, and the playful look in her eyes when she saved her name as “Cherry.” He couldn’t shake her from his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried.

Arriving at the studio for his Vogue cover shoot, Harry parked and made his way inside. The bustling crew greeted him warmly, but he was quickly informed that the other model’s session was running late. “Take a seat for now, Harry,” the director said. “We’ll call you when we’re ready.”

As he settled into a chair, the director approached him again, this time holding a small selection of nail polish bottles. “We want painted nails for the cover—something bold. We’ll have one of our team members do it for you,” he explained.

Harry nodded, but his attention was elsewhere until the photographer from the other model’s shoot stepped into view. When she turned around, Harry froze. It was her.

The girl from the vinyl shop.

She froze, too, her eyes widening slightly in recognition. After a moment, she regained her composure and walked over, holding a tray of nail polishes.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Harry said, a smirk tugging at his lips. “So this is where you work?”

“Yup,” she replied, her voice steady but her cheeks slightly pink. “What color?”

Harry leaned forward, his smirk widening. “Cherry.”

She let out a soft chuckle at that, shaking her head as she opened the bottle. “Of course you’d pick that.”

She knelt beside him, carefully painting his nails with precision. Harry couldn’t help but admire her focus, the way her brows furrowed slightly as she worked.

“There,” she said, capping the bottle and standing up. “All done. Now come on, Styles, you’ve got photos to take.”

Before Harry could respond, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet, leading him toward the set. He laughed, the sound echoing through the studio as she dragged him along.

The shoot began, and Harry found himself feeling more comfortable than usual, knowing she was the one behind the camera. Her direction was calm and clear, her compliments genuine, and her laughter contagious whenever he cracked a joke between shots.

When the session wrapped up, she motioned him over to the monitor to review the photos. Harry leaned over her shoulder, his cherry-red nails tapping lightly against the desk as he scrolled through the shots.

“These are incredible,” he said, his voice full of admiration.

She turned her head slightly, her eyes meeting his. “Thanks,” she said softly, her tone filled with gratitude.

As the crew began packing up, Harry lingered near her, gathering his courage. “Well, now that you’re done with work,” he started, his voice casual but hopeful, “fancy grabbing a bite?”

She laughed, slipping her camera into its bag. “Oh, alright. I really do want a strawberry milkshake with cherries on top.”

Harry grinned, placing his hand on her lower back as they headed out. “You and your obsession with cherries.”

“Oh yeah?” she replied cheekily. “Says you. You literally have a song called Cherry.”

“Fair enough,” he admitted with a laugh.

At the diner, they slid into a booth and placed their orders. While waiting for their food, she leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “So,” she began, her tone curious. “Why did you pay for my vinyls that day?”

Harry hesitated, his fingers playing with the edge of his napkin. “It’s… kind of a long story,” he said, his voice softer now.

“I’ve got time,” she replied, her eyes fixed on his.

Harry took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. “You’re going to think I’m crazy,” he started with a nervous laugh. “But… I’ve been dreaming about you. For months, actually. I didn’t know who you were, but I could see your face so clearly. It was like you were real, but not. And then one night, I woke up and wrote a song about you. That’s where She came from.”

Her brows furrowed slightly, but she didn’t interrupt.

“And then,” he continued, “I saw you. At my show. You were in the crowd, swaying to the music, wearing cherry-red lipstick. I thought I was imagining things, but it was you. And before I could do anything, you were gone.”

She blinked, her expression a mix of surprise and disbelief. “That’s… wow,” she said finally. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Harry smiled sheepishly. “You don’t have to say anything. I just… I couldn’t let you walk out of that vinyl shop without doing something. Even if it was just paying for your records.”

She stared at him for a moment, her lips curving into a soft smile. “Well, I guess I should say thank you, then. For the records… and for the song.”

Their conversation shifted to lighter topics after that. They talked about their careers, their favorite bands, and their hobbies. At one point, she picked up a cherry from her milkshake and tied the stem into a knot with her tongue, grinning proudly as she held it up.

“Impressive,” Harry said with a laugh.

“Thanks,” she replied, popping the cherry into her mouth.

<<<<<

As they left the diner, the warm glow of the setting sun bathed the streets in gold. She sipped the last of her strawberry milkshake and glanced at Harry with a playful smile. “Thanks for the bite, Harry. You go on—I have to stop at the vinyl shop. A new record caught my eye the other day.”

Harry’s steps faltered for a moment, the thought of parting with her sinking in. “I’ll come with you,” he said quickly, not wanting the evening to end just yet.

She raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t protest, and they began walking toward the vinyl shop together. As they strolled, their hands occasionally brushed against each other, sending tiny jolts through Harry. He glanced down at their hands, debating whether to grab hers, but he hesitated, thinking it might be too soon. Instead, he hooked his pinky around hers.

She looked down at their linked pinkies, her eyes widening slightly in surprise before a soft smile spread across her lips. A faint blush dusted her cheeks, and Harry couldn’t help but grin at her reaction. Their hands swayed together as they walked, the sunlight catching on their matching cherry-red nails, making the moment feel surreal.

When they arrived at the vinyl shop, she immediately headed for a specific aisle, her pace quick and purposeful. Harry followed close behind, watching her scan the shelves until her eyes lit up. She reached for a record, holding it up triumphantly.

Turning to the side, she asked, “What do you think of this one?”

But as she turned, her face collided with Harry’s, her lips accidentally brushing against his.

Her eyes widened in shock as she pulled back. “Shit, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, her cheeks flushing a deep red.

Harry stood frozen for a moment, his heart racing. Then, in his mind, he thought, Fuck it.

Before she could say another word, he leaned in again, closing the distance between them. This time, the kiss was deliberate, soft yet electric. She responded almost immediately, her hand coming up to rest on his cheek, her fingers brushing against his stubble. Harry mirrored her gesture, his palm cupping her face gently. Their cherry-painted nails glinted in the dim shop light, adding an almost cinematic quality to the moment.

The kiss deepened for a few seconds, their surroundings fading into nothingness. When they finally pulled away, slightly breathless, she noticed her cherry-red lipstick smudged on his lips and burst into laughter.

Harry tilted his head, confused at first, before realizing what had happened. He laughed too, his dimples appearing as he wiped at his mouth.

“Nice lipstick,” she teased, her voice light and playful as she turned to head toward the register.

Still recovering from the kiss, Harry followed her, intending to pay for her record again. But this time, she was faster, pulling out her card and swiping it before he could even reach for his wallet.

She turned to him with a smug grin. “Not this time, Styles.”

Harry shook his head, chuckling. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

As they walked toward the door, the bell above it jingling softly, Harry asked casually, “So, who’s your favorite One Direction member?”

She stopped in her tracks, her lips curving into a mischievous smile. “Tomlinson,” she said with mock seriousness, crossing her arms.

Harry’s jaw dropped dramatically. “Louis?!”

Before she could say anything else, he scooped her up bridal style, causing her to yelp in surprise.

“Well, too bad!” he said, grinning as he carried her out of the shop.

She burst into laughter, playfully smacking his chest. “Harry, put me down!”

“Not until you change your answer,” he teased, his laughter echoing through the street.

They were both laughing so hard that they didn’t notice the curious stares from passersby or the quiet clicking of cameras from nearby fans. For Harry, the world had narrowed to just her—the girl who lived in his dreams and was now very much a part of his reality.

[liillyliilly]

Max It Out

semi eita x reader words; 7101 + bonus content bc i love this AU synopsis; Band AU. She's the manager. As it turns out, he wants her as more than just the band manager.

“You gotta amp the bass up,” Semi called out.

You just rolled your eyes at him again. There was only so much more you could ‘amp’ his bass up. You couldn’t fix something that just wasn’t broken.

“I think you gotta fix your play style instead. I can make the bass louder, but then the main guitar line would have to be shrunk. Unless you want fizzing during your set.” You shrugged. He really couldn’t manage this gig without you.

It was hard to believe that earlier that day, you and he sat opposite in the paralegal office. Some civil service job, getting assigned to share an office with Semi Eita.

Arrogant, egotistical, damningly attractive. You wanted to wear his clothes and be his prized possession.

“Pass the stapler.” Your stapler, he had been working here for five months and still hadn’t bought his stapler yet. To be fair, it was a genuinely good stapler that you had shipped in from your aunt who lived in Germany.

You opened the drawer under your desk, grabbed the stapler, and then handed it to Semi under your computer.

He peeked under the computers, smiling at you. “Thanks, sweetie.”

“We aren’t in a work marriage anymore. I divorced you.”

“I never signed the papers darling.”

How could he always do that? Make you smile? It was unfair.

Sure, you always ate lunch together. Sure, he always packed an extra set of tissues when you went to the movies because he knew you cried easily. Sure, he gave you his leather jacket during winter on the walks from the hauling truck to the clubs.

But you had divorced this man weeks ago. Work marriage of course. He was just too clingy for you.

There of course had to be another layer to this dynamic between the two of you. The whole band manager thing.

You were nineteen and completely in love with Konoha Akinori. Which was why Semi invited you to help them with gigging the band out.

You had known of Semi, but only really got to know him in college. His center of gravity was alluring, to say the least. You were friends with Konoha first, attending high school together. Konoha was the one who invited you to your first real college party. Except it wasn’t even really a party.

It was five guys smoking, listening to music, and messing with instruments.

When you enter the apartment, Beach Weather’s “Sex, Drugs, Etc.” was lulling in the background.

Semi was lying back on a beanbag, strumming his bass guitar gently. Two boys in the opposite corner were blowing puffs of smoke into each other’s mouths, between what looked like extremely wet kisses.

“Issei, Hiro, do you have to do that here?” Futakuchi Kenji, a fellow class member of your advertising supplemental class, was faking being sick. He had drumsticks and was hitting an empty container of fried chicken.

“You can join in whenever you want Jiji.” The pink-haired one smiled, using his head to motion Futakuchi to join them on the sofa.

“Issei’s breath reeks of mango.”

The one with short cropped black hair, wearing a One Piece shirt spoke up, “Mango-licious. That’s the exact flavor, there’s some strawberry in the pod as well.”

The one referred to as Hiro shoved the one called Issei off the sofa. “Song’s over.” Issei just shrugged, taking another hit from his blue e-cigarette.

Konoha explained that Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro had been best friends for essentially their whole lives and that there were a select few songs that they just always made out to. He said he just got used to it, and that you should too.

You decide to make conversation, “So how do you all know each other?”

Semi chimed in, “Konoha and I used to work together at a tutoring place. Before he ditched it to deal drugs.”

Konoha worked in a pharmacy.

“You worked at a tutoring place,” Shock was evident in your tone of voice.

“It’s not hard to help seven-year-olds with their math homework.” Semi continued, “I know Issei and Hiro from competing in the same volleyball circuit in high school. I don’t know when Kenji got here though.”

“Ass.” Futakuchi rolled his eyes, “I joined this shoddy group of friends when we were all struggling to pass the intro math course. And when I found out we were all decent at music.”

Your raised eyebrow at the music comment made Semi smirk.

“If we play for you, you gotta join our cult.” He minced no words.

Konoha assured you that it wasn’t actually a cult, but it did feel like one.

When Matsukawa had finished hooking up all the proper chords to an outlet machine, Konoha had shoved some bean bags out of the way, and Hanamaki downed several glasses of water, you realized that they were good at music.

The song they played was “Lavender Sunflower” by Tory Lanez. When you asked why they would play a song from someone who was in jail, Semi just said you should separate the art from the artist. Futakuchi said it was because Hanamaki liked to say the word ‘sexify’.

They did a few more covers, ranging from Steve Lacy to Cautious Clay.

You gave them a round of applause when Matsukawa slid his fingers across his keyboard to end their mini-concert.

“I meant it. You’re in our cult now.” Semi had come up from behind you, speaking into your ear and resting his hands on your shoulders. The shiver down your spine didn’t go unnoticed by you or Semi.

Electric Guest; the five young adult boys turned into a decently popular alternative indie band. Semi Eita, on the bass. Konoha Akinori, on the guitar. Matsukawa Issei on keyboard. Hanamaki Takahiro, on primary vocals and autotuning. Futakuchi Kenji on drums. Plus you, the mastermind behind it all. Kind of.

All you did was everything else besides play music.

The first time they played at the Battle of the Bands, you sweat so much that your white shirt was permanently stained in the pits. At least they won the prize money, just enough for a team dinner, entrance fees to the next competition and a new shirt for you.

It was a learning curve for you, learning the lighting, the sound management, and the coordination of schedules as you all got busier. Making a Google calendar helped as the years went on.

The whole band thing became so lucrative that all of you could’ve quit your day jobs and been perfectly comfortable, but Futakuchi claimed that the band was never supposed to be their whole lives. Just a part of them. So, in addition to your band manager role, you also ran the charity on the side.

A cross between cancer research, volleyball advocacy, and music education. The holy trinity of causes Matsukawa claimed.

Electric Guest was never supposed to be the reason for you to stay friends with people from high school, and college. But that was how it ended up. Just a group of boys with their girl on weekend nights playing live music.

Initially a cover band, but it turned into original works.

Semi was always a little too clever to just play others' words. “This Head I Hold”, Semi’s first song that he had written had charted on the IONIC Alternative chart in the Top 100 for seven weeks straight, never falling below the top seventy.

Was he humble about this feat? No.

But did he sheepishly make a toast to how your marketing carried the song to where it was? Yes. So it leveled out in your mind for him to be prideful of his music, of their music.

“Amp it up.” Semi stomped his feet again.

Konoha shoved Semi’s arm. “She just said that she couldn’t do that. Do you just have selective hearing for praise? Maybe she should throw in her opinion on your ass in those jeans between the clarification of why increasing the amp would be bad?”

“Screw you, Aki.”

“Meet me in the bathroom in five?” You could practically see the way Konoha’s eyebrows raised in a jokingly seductive way.

“Semi, I could try to reduce the vocals slightly. I just don’t know why you want your bass to be so highlighted tonight?”

Semi just waved his hand in the air, brushing away your comments.

Rolling your eyes, you sipped on your water, reviewing the setlist for tonight.

“Hey, I thought we cut “Get Out” for tonight? And we never play it as the last song?” You did a double take at the setlist, Semi had scribbled the song in right after their typical closer of “Basic- Acoustic Version”

Hanamaki slid into your booth, downing his demon juice, a mixture of Redbull, Monster, and a shot of tequila. He grimaced, then shook his face, smiling at you.

“Semi-Semi has a surprise for tonight, it’s supposed to knock your socks off.”

“I do like a good “Get Out” moment.” You mused.

“A little more than just a good moment supposedly.”

Hanamaki was always one of the guys from your friend group who could manage to make anything sound more important than it was. He was the lead singer after all. You’d be lying if you hadn’t thought about the way some very specific words would sound coming from him to you.

That was another element to this Electric Guest thing, the touch aspect. Once they had integrated you into the friend circle, they became your humans. Your people. You all began to function as a single unit. Where one goes, the rest follow.

The Twitter comments on official posts did love to get a little explicit when they posed theories about how all five of you were in a polyamorous relationship.

That time you and Matsukawa got seen with your hands in his hair and his hands on your ass created a good portion of those theories, especially since Matsukawa still openly liked to lick Hanamaki’s neck between songs.

The touching thing just became second nature, to be close to each other was to be genuine.

Futakuchi threw a plastic water bottle at Hanamaki, “You drunkard, come set up your autotune before you’re too far gone. Please chew some gum before you start singing too, your breath reeks on that stuff.” Futakuchi was referencing the aforementioned demon juice.

Semi had started working at the same place you were working after he had aced his civil servant exam with flying colors.

He had gotten bored of lazing at his shared apartment with Futakuchi for entire days on end. He claimed to need social and mental stimulation. You thought it was because he just wanted to have another reason to get to know you better, which was also true.

Semi was strange when it came to you, freezing up in touch before easing into it. Sometimes you and him could just sit in your apartment for hours on end talking about the band, movies, the best hangover food.

He just understood you on an unparalleled level.

You were all friends, of course, Issei, Hiro, Jiji, Akinori, Eita, and you. But you clicked on what felt like a multidimensional plane with Semi Eita.

He knew what you would say before you said it. He always managed to mitigate your problems with simple, clear solutions.

He also always looked a little too deep into your eyes. You felt like he was inspecting your innermost self when he locked his eyes on you.

No judgment, just assessment. No confusion, just curiosity.

“We can always carpool you know,” He swung his keys on his finger as he walked you to the bus stop, “Save you an hour in commuting.”

“As appealing as that is, I wouldn’t be able to do my share of driving, you know, due to the whole, I don’t have a car thing.” Grateful, you rubbed his shoulder in thanks.

“When I say carpool I mean, I’ll drive and you be my live-in car DJ.”

“Am I being used for my amazing playlists?”

“I love using you.”

So you began to carpool. He would pick you up at your apartment 30 minutes before work started, and then you would sit in the parking lot together for 10 minutes listening to your new underground finds before clocking in.

Semi was a great co-worker, truly. He just always used your stuff and spent way too much time going through your computer search history when you took a break.

“I swear I was going to find some kind of band groupie orgy porn on here this time.” He scoffed when you began shaking your office chair with him still sitting in it.

“At work? You’re kidding me”

“Maybe it was just for future reference,” He licked his lips, looking up at you. “You know, for tonight.”

“You’re revolting.”

“You’re an angel.” He reached a hand up and tugged on the front of your shirt, pulling you down to him.

“You make me sick.” You tried to escape his grasp without damaging your new button-up.

“Lovesick.”

There were only a few more hours to go before their show tonight. You had taken several photos of your boys preparing for the show, posting them on all the social media sites.

Using captions such as, ‘ETA: When Semi Eita gets around to it.’

‘Matsukawa’s forgotten mango vape pod.’ (You thought that one was funny because the vape pod was shown to be almost negatively drained more than it could go, he had sucked all the Mango-licious nicotine out of that poor vape pod)

‘Real or fake? I guess we’ll never know’ Attached to a shot of Hanamaki looking at himself in the mirror, moving small hairs around. The fan-favorite think piece was about his hair, genetically strawberry blond or just dyed.

‘Jiji on that beat’ Futakuchi’s head resting in his hands, his knees bouncing up and down in a short video clip. He always got anxious before shows, despite being one of the relatively more popular members of Electric Guest.

‘Akinori’s Asshole Agenda, task one: hide all the free promotional stickers’ Your box of stickers was shown to be empty, but you had another one in the hauling truck that you would go and grab in a few minutes. The ushers at the clubs helped hand the stickers out when getting people into the building.

Futakuchi called you over to the stage. You put your phone back into your pocket and meandered over to where he was inspecting his drum kit.

“The skin on my drum is getting too thin.” Futakuchi traced a white line that stuck onto the kick drum.

“What do you want me to do?”

He pulled out a fresh skin from his satchel. “Help me reskin this bad boy please.”

“It’s not real animal skin yeah? Just synthetic?”

“Yeah, it should go on fairly easily, I need to polish my cymbals.”

You tilted your head in slight anger. He was going to make you reskin his drum?

Semi had finished messing with his bass settings, resting his instrument on the large case he had brought out to the stage.

“Lemme do it.”

“I can re-skin it, it’s fine, Eita.”

He took the material from your hands, “Let me skin the stupid drum.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly. That tone of voice subtly said, “Don’t test me” and overtly said, “I want to do this for you.”

You let him reskin Futakuchi’s stupid drum.

Joining Electric Guest was one of the best decisions in your life, and you owed it all to Konoha Akinori for bringing you to that ‘college party’. Semi liked to argue that he was the one to thank for getting you involved, but Konoha always pulled up the text receipts of him asking you to officially be a part of the band.

All your firsts had been with Konoha. First kiss, first boyfriend, first hickey.

A high school crush that turned into a decently long relationship at the beginning of university. Konoha was a great boyfriend, dates were amazing, and he was the one who introduced you to all of his friends, who became your friends as well. He was the one who took care of you when you were sick.

He was the one who cried with you when your cousin died.

You truly loved him. But the piece in your heart for him and the piece in his heart for you just didn’t fit together once you hit 20 years old. It was an amicable break-up, but it still hurt.

Best friends with a rich past was how you defined your relationship with Konoha.

Semi was getting increasingly anxious about the fallout when Konoha and you broke up. That’s how it made the most sense to you anyway.

Why else would he have punched Konoha? The fate of the band was at risk.

Semi would’ve rather died than admit why he had to physically express his anger. Screw the band in that moment, what about you? Were you doing alright?

They hadn’t told you about the punch until nearly a year later when you were all either high or sleep-deprived in your apartment, celebrating another competition win.

What they hadn’t told you was louder than what they did tell you about that night, three days after your break-up with Konoha.

Matsukawa had to hold Konoha back, and Hanamaki along with Futakuchi pulled Semi back from throwing another punch. Konoha’s lip was cut and bleeding, so he spat the blood on the floor of the recording studio.

You just sat in the beanbag in the mixing office, none the wiser, headphones on, clicking away at audio files to make promotions.

The night of the breakup, you called Semi and had him at your apartment. It was raining that night. When he arrived at your place, he was soaked through. You asked about it since a short walk from the road to your place wouldn’t have yielded such a damp appearance.

As it turned out, his car had run out of gas, so he took Futakuchi’s moped. When you wrapped him in a towel and gave him tea, he complained that he should be the one soothing you.

That comment triggered you to start bawling. What if it was all a mistake to break up with Konoha? Maybe he was your best option. Semi said that Konoha wasn’t worth shit compared to other guys out there for you.

You told him that that was cruel to say. Semi tried to backtrack, explaining that maybe better options were still around for you. When you just kept talking about how much you loved Konoha, Semi stopped trying to fight the idea of Konoha and focused solely on comforting you and assuring you of your decision.

Two days later, after Semi witnessed your shattered state, the punch occurred during band practice. He saw Konoha’s phone screen saver was still Konoha and you kissing.

“You asshole, she was crying!”

“I already told you Eita, it was an agreed upon break up!”

“The bruise on her neck then? Explain that you dick!” Semi snarled. Hanamaki was shaking in his Doc Martens, but Futakuchi just kicked Hanamaki and told him to keep holding Semi back.

“The bruise? You mean the HICKEY?” Konoha wasn’t mad anymore, just annoyed, “You know sometimes when people break up they have break-up sex. It’s in the name, you oblivious coward.”

Matsukawa finally let Konoha go. Konoha just rubbed his arms where Matsukawa had grabbed him. Konoha had come to several realizations when he had talked to you about breaking up.

Kissing hadn’t felt right for some time, and you both hardly ever tried to be romantic in any sense. Instead choosing to send memes to each other and joking around. It was being best friends under the label of a relationship.

You agreed to split, letting both of you let go of your long-winded high school crushes.

“Coward? You’re calling me a coward? Breaking up with the best girl in your entire life wasn’t a cowardly thing to do then?” Semi was panting, arms shaking, but he was still kicking his feet.

Konoha knew Semi would throw a fit. So he decided to say what everyone else in the friend group wanted to say.

“You love her more than I do,” Konoha sat down, legs sprawled on the floor. He told Hanamaki and Futakuchi to let Semi go. “Did you know that? You love her more than I do. Which is utterly baffling to me because I love her with my entire heart.”

Semi stood for a moment, a slight sway from all the tension in his high-strung body. Semi crouched down before laying on the floor. Looking at the ceiling, he pressed his lips into a tight line.

Hanamaki, Futakuchi, and Matsukawa had left the band space, choosing to let the two friends talk out whatever they needed to.

They too knew that this conversation needed to occur, primarily for Semi.

Semi sniffles then laughs. A genuine laugh. “I guess I am a coward.”

“Damn straight.” Konoha continued, “I always thought you’d get to her before me. Not sexually, or anything like that. But in terms of love. You know? You just always had her first thing in mind. Whereas I, well, I never cheated and I never considered it either, but I always wondered if I was the right person for her.”

“You think that person is me?” Semi scoffed. “I can hardly call myself an adult compared to you.”

“I know right.” Semi kicked Konoha with his outstretched leg.

“You gotta tell her, or else someone will take her from you. Not everyone can see you’re the best person for her. Hell, even I had a mental breakdown when I realized it.”

“So you’re saying-”

“I don’t want your bullshit, Eita, I want you to tell her.”

“I can’t.”

Konoha told him that he’d be stuck then. So, stuck Semi became.

It was almost an hour before opening the doors to the long line outside Club Karazaki.

You still needed to help the boys with their hair. So you grabbed your comb from your bag and made your way backstage.

“Hairstylist in the house, I take 50s and 100s only.” You patted your jeans’ back pocket, “I need a new phone so this is how y’all will contribute.”

After finishing Matsukawa’s quick retouch on his taper, you took the fiver he handed you.

“You know, I think tonight is going to be one of our best performances.” Matsukawa lifted his mango vape to you, you declined it, and he took another hit. “Semi outdid himself for tonight.”

“Ya’ll overhype that man.”

“Nah, we hype him just enough.” Matsukawa held your hand, “You ever get another date with that dude from a week ago?”

You shook your head, explaining how it just didn’t feel right. Lately, your romantic exploits had all crashed and burned quicker than Semi could begin a riff.

Several of the adventures in romance had ended with an upset Semi, which in turn made you upset. The most recent ‘discussion’ between the two of you had occurred just a week before tonight, about the same guy Matsukawa had brought up.

The band left Semi and you in your apartment, and you offered to let him crash on your futon. Futakuchi refused to let a drunk Semi back into their apartment. Claiming that he would puke all over the new rug he bought.

“I just don’t get you.” He was tugging on his sweatpants’ drawstring and lying on your couch. His shirt had ridden up to his mid-stomach, showing off a trail of dark blond hair that snuck under his sweatpants.

“What don’t you get.” You sat on the end of your couch, freshly showered. He put his feet in your lap. You obliged, scrolling through channels on your TV.

He smelled like the expensive wine your label had dropped off to celebrate a bronze ranking on the new album. You asked how much he had drunk, only now realizing his whole face was flushed. He mumbled, so you lifted the bottle, only to find it completely empty.

“You’ll get alcohol poisoning from doing this.” It was only a mini-sized bottle, but it was expensive and aged perfectly.

“Better than how I’m living now.” He took off his shirt, too warm to continue with the material on him.

He didn’t quite have abs, but he was strong. Broad, tan, and wide. The difference between Konoha’s so-called, “slutty waist” and Semi’s toned torso was striking.

You clarified that he actually wouldn’t even be living if he got serious alcohol poisoning.

“That dude,” You said your one-off date’s name, “Yeah him, he looked like my doppelganger don’t you think?”

He did look a lot like Semi.

At the same time you both added the addendum that his fashion was way worse than Semi’s. Semi just laughed, not even a laugh, he giggled. A 22-year-old child, giggling about how you were insulting your date. Shirtless, drunk, and now rubbing your back.

He had shifted, laying his back on the back of the couch, lightly kicking you so you would sit on the floor in front of him.

His hands were warm, due to the alcohol flowing through his veins. When he dug his thumb between your spine and shoulder blade you moaned. He asked if you felt good, and you nodded.

You didn’t expect him to slide your shirt up, your bare back exposed to the cold air of your apartment. In no time, his hands were soothing down the goosebumps.

“Make your little noise again.”

“Hm?” You turned your head to Semi.

“I want you to moan again.”

Your eyes widened. There was no teasing this time, he was dead serious.

Something was definitely wrong with your best friend, especially when he started to kiss your shoulders, moving to your jawline, attempting to move his lips wherever he could reach. He had slid down the couch, using his hands to pull your back against his chest. Skin on skin.

Your shirt was still bunched up at the back of your neck, but with the way that Semi was slowly sliding hands over your stomach, he had a plan to remove the purple sleep shirt. His maneuvers were snake-like. His intermittent hisses were reactions to your scent, your warmth, and the way your skin tasted on his tongue.

When he cupped your chest with one hand and had the other hand in your hair, you had to stop him. Quickly you stood up, and he cussed at the loss of touch.

“Eita, I think you need to sleep.” You tugged him up from the floor, and he just kept cursing. Incoherently, no rhyme or reason for what he was so mad about. You could hardly understand many of the words, a few distinct ones hit your eardrums: Konoha, coward, sex, music, the band. The most frequent word was your name.

You let him sit on the floor, going to grab a glass of water for him. When you reached into your fridge for a Gatorade as well, Semi was standing at the entrance to the kitchen. Brown eyes just watching you.

“One kiss.” He clearly stated.

You laughed, but he only got irritated.

“I’m serious. Just one.” He reaffirmed.

“You’re drunk. I’ll say it twice, Eita. You’re drunk.”

“I’m a better kisser when I’m drunk.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

You handed him the water. He downed it. You handed him the Gatorade. He sipped it. He probably had a reason for asking.

“Is it for a song?” You touched the bottom of the Gatorade bottle, lifting it closer to his mouth so he would take another drink. Semi angrily rolled his eyes, why would that be his only reason for asking to kiss you?

“If I say yes will you kiss me.”

You shook your head no. He was clearly inebriated. You didn’t know how he would feel about this in the morning, and you knew the alcohol was altering him.

It had been two years since you broke up with Konoha. You had promised that you wouldn’t date another member of your friend group. It just wouldn’t work. Plus with the new label intervention as well, they tried to subtly say that dating within the band could cause some scandals.

But they were an alternative indie band, so the label let a lot of the little things go.

But openly dating? Ruining the image of attainability? They just told everyone to keep relationships to a minimum, and if they did want to date, then you should be off limits.

Semi had never seemed more pissed at a formal organization, he ranted to you about how as soon as the three-year contract was up that Electric Guest should go back to being entirely independent.

You agreed, for the most part, just letting him consider how much easier it was for him to get creative licensing protection on his songs. He just said that working at the paralegal office would be enough skill to get legal protection on the music.

Semi cleaned up the Gatorade, tossing it into the trash can. You found yourself in a corner, the sink to your right, and the fridge to your left, Semi in all other directions.

Never had you seen his eyes so blown out. Not even after one of the longer smoke sessions, Matsukawa liked to cook up.

“If you can tell me you don’t love me then I’ll let it go.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Eita, what? Of course, I love you. What are you talking about?”

“If you can tell me you haven’t thought about me when you were touching yourself. If you can tell me that you haven’t thought about my lips on you. If you can tell me that you never considered me as an option. If you can say that then I’ll drop it. Otherwise, please let me kiss you.” You paused your breathing. He looked at you. “And don’t use my blood alcohol content as an excuse.”

“I need a minute.” You gently pushed your hand on his bicep.

“I have time.”

You glanced at the microwave clock.

1:28 AM.

He started kissing you at 1:29 AM.

You didn’t stop him.

It was slow at first, gentle even. He started at your neck. Biding time before he got to where he wanted to go. He nipped along your jaw. Your hands were resting on his chest, your breath baited.

When he picked you up and sat you on the counter, you knew you were a goner.

He guided your hands to his hair, his shoulders, and his hips, telling you to just touch him and not stop. He gave himself 15 minutes. You didn’t know this, but he was only using 15 minutes. From 1:29 AM to 1:44 AM.

When he starts to rub his hips against yours, you wish you could’ve stayed like this for hours. You could feel the outline of his body through the sweatpants, and each time you made another sound, his hips just stilted before rubbing again with more pressure.

His first lip-to-lip kiss with you was dry. He just pressed your lips together. He paused, just letting the touch process in his mind. When you pressed back, he smiled into the kiss.

He could immortalize the kiss later, he still had 7 minutes left.

He wanted to reach his hand down into the front of your pants but knew you would draw the line there. His alcohol solution became the one barrier he wished he didn’t have at the moment. Especially when he could feel the way your thighs were shaking slightly, anticipation was a bitch.

He gently, lightly, wrapped one hand around your neck. The other hand was under your shirt doing things you couldn’t quite make sense of because his tongue was in your mouth. His thumb was distinctly writing the letters of his name over your nipples.

When the clock turned to 1:40 AM, he turned ravenous. He pressed his lips everywhere on your face, forehead, nose, chin. Dry turned to wet, and he knew you were covered in his saliva. You groaned slightly when he gave in and cupped the front of your shorts. Before he removed his hand in favor of just grinding against you again.

He was panting when the clock finally ticked to 1:44 AM. Semi tucked his head into the nook between your shoulder and neck. His arms under your shirt hugged you tighter, making you feel like a boa constrictor was attempting to cut off your oxygen supply.

“I’m tired.” You ran a hand through his hair. Telling him to let you go so you could get his futon. He shook his head, pieces of hair tickling you. He wasn’t tired physically, he was tired mentally. To hold back from someone you were magnetized to, spent all his energy. Until his willpower to fight the pull force was just entirely gone.

“Second door on the left?” He spoke right into your skin. If he had gotten this far, one last ditch attempt to feel all of you might just be his lucky opportunity. The second door on the left was your bedroom.

You nodded.

In the morning, you woke up to Semi tracing shapes on your thigh that was laid across his stomach.

He spoke first.

“We can talk about it after the show at Karazaki.” He had begun running his hand on your head, starting at the top of your head before sliding down to your nape. He repeated the soothing caress so many times you lost count.

“Ok.”

The doors finally shut, and all the people at Club Karazaki were finally ready to be blessed with the music from none other than Electric Guest.

The two-hour show went off without a hitch.

Konoha’s guitar solo got the most bras thrown at him. Futakuchi’s reverb of Arctic Monkeys’ “Knee Socks” had the most phones recording him, his drum set and single verse got more viral video and editing clips than you would know how to manage. Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s duet singing “Oh Devil” from the new album almost made you scream for them too.

It was finally time to close off the show, with Semi’s addition of “Get Out”. You couldn’t help but get thrilled at the idea of hearing your favorite song one more time before he planned to officially cut it from the setlist.

Instead of Hanamaki, Semi cleared his throat, thanking the audience for their time, and that the last song was going to be a crowd favorite.

Hanamaki stepped back. Now, the main singer of a band did not just simply step back and out of the primary light. You fidgeted with the system, getting equal lighting on everyone. The red slow strobe was always a good default, especially since you had no idea what was going on.

“I’ll max it out one time for you.” Semi sang.

This wasn’t the revised ending song. It wasn’t even “Get Out”, the song you had believed to be Semi’s bonus on the setlist. You clicked into your headphones, trying to contact Konoha. Radio silence on your end. Standing up in the back of the club, you waved your arms rapidly. Trying to get Semi’s attention.

What the hell was he doing?

“You should never worry, you’ve been here a long time.” His bass guitar was strumming to the beat of your pulse, just fast enough to keep you alive, but steadily increasing in speed. Matsukawa’s keyboard was playing perfectly in tune. So at least you knew they had practiced this song before.

Maybe more than one practice though, because the flow of the music was just too smooth. You sit back down, and instead of leaving the blaring red strobe lights, you cool it down. A light blue focal light on Semi, with grays and whites on the other band members.

It matched with the RnB edge this song had.

“Now you’re in a hurry. Feels like a long way home.”

He moved up more, tugging on the chord connecting his guitar. He stood in the center of the stage.

His vocals were stunning. Usually, it was Hanamaki singing, with Semi doing the backing vocals. But this was all Semi’s scratchy, deep, resounding, pleading voice. He sang like he was begging for a lifeline.

“You’re just the light I follow.” He wasn’t closing his eyes, he was looking straight at you. You looked behind yourself, only seeing the black wall. You checked in front of you to see if any girls you were familiar with were standing in front of your systems booth. But no, the crowd was just packed with dedicated fanboys and fangirls tonight.

“Right now you just can’t see. I’ll feel the same tomorrow. ‘Cause a good thing is falling on me.”

So this is what all your boys had been talking about. Semi’s special show.

“I’ll max it out one time.”

What a nerd.

“And I know they go on and on and on, I know you’re growing tired of me.”

You’d never get tired of him. And somehow you knew that he knew that.

“And even when you're nervous, or you’re feeling out of order”

Hanamaki had joined in, singing the backing lyrics at this point. Semi just kept looking at you.

“I’m somewhere right next to you, singing you the chorus.”

He’d always been clingy.

“I’ll max it out one time for you, ‘Cause I know it’s overdue.”

Hell yeah, it was overdue.

“So, I raise my glass to you.”

He raises his bottle of water.

An uncontrollable smile erupts over his face. The crowd is in shambles. People were screaming, some were off in a tucked away corner kissing, and someone was getting pulled off the gate to the stage by security.

He doesn’t sing anymore. He mouths the words to just you.

“I love you.”

So there they were, Electric Guest. Sitting in a run-down 24/7 diner laughing and throwing fries at each other.

So there they were; Semi and you. He had his arms around you, chin resting on your shoulder, joking about the time Konoha had spilled his weird mixture of mayo and ketchup all over a borrowed white shirt.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa were pinching each other under the table.

Futakuchi and Konoha were arguing about who got more tagged posts on Instagram.

“I think we should adopt a baby or something.” Hanamaki waved Matsukawa’s vape in the air.

“You would be arrested in like two seconds. You can barely function as a human being Hiro.” Futakuchi ate another fry, starting to list off all the reasons Hanamaki would make a horrible parent figure. Matsukawa kept trying to get another hit from his vape, but Hanamaki just kept waving it around.

You turned to face Semi, but he was already looking at you.

“Max It Out?” You brought up the title of his Not Confession, confession song.

“I wanted to title it your name, but no, that would be too on the nose for some people.” Semi glared at Konoha.

Konoha shrugged, “Eita, you always go on and on about increasing your bass, I thought that ‘Max It Out’ would just click better with the average audience. You know, the same audience who wasn’t exactly there to witness you groping on our friend here last week.” Konoha patted your thigh.

Futakuchi dropped his fry. Complaining that he was always the last one to know what was going on with his friends.

“I wouldn’t call it groping, maybe loving, but not groping.”

“That could be a good lyric for our next song,” Matsukawa brought his hands up to motion them in a rainbow shape, presenting an idea, “we could call it, ‘I Had Sex With My Best Friend Who I Pined After Since I Was Nineteen, I Also Passionately Care About Her And Ended Up Punching Her Ex-Boyfriend Who Is Also My Other Best Friend’ I think that has a real ring to it for a song title.”

Semi rolled his eyes, “Not looking like that title would fit with the rest of our catalog.”

You consoled Matsukawa by handing him back the fiver he gave you for trimming his hair.

Futakuchi, still upset at not knowing about you and Semi’s incident, posed a question, “Well if Aki, Eita, and I have all kissed you, where does that leave Issei and Hiro?”

Semi’s mouth dropped open, “When did that happen?”

“Our kiss? Uh, I can’t remember. But we did.”

You shrugged, it wasn’t your best moment. But Futakuchi had been a very good kisser. “After advertising class ended. I was having a moment about where my life was going.”

“I still think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve kissed so far.”

Semi groans. “This is so unfair. I waited over four years, but Jiji and Aki got to kiss you before me?”

“Slow your roll Eita, if we keep this up, maybe we will end up in a polyamorous relationship.” Hanamaki analyzed, and you knew all about his thoughts about that situation occurring. He had told you several times that if a six-person relationship did exist, then it still wouldn't be as amazing as the dynamics between all of you.

“No more kissing other people,” Semi rubbed your elbow, “You’re stuck to me now. Might as well stay with the one with the best dick.”

You nodded. Semi grinned, waiting expectantly.

“This is the part where you start listing off other good qualities about me.”

“Nope, I think you listed them all.”

Konoha stuck his tongue out and mocked Semi’s claims about genitalia.

After a copious amount of french fries, and enough jokes about everything that had happened the last few years, Semi and you walked hand in hand to his car.

“I got a new bass booster in my car.”

“Why exactly?” You buckled yourself, before reaching over and buckling Semi in as well.

“So I can blast our favorite songs while making you scream.”

There he was, your flirting, egotistical, arrogant, loving best friend. You nixed the best friend part in your head, writing ‘soulmate’ in place.

“Also, can you rescind the whole work-husband divorce claims?” He rested his hand on the back of your seat while backing up his car. Flexing his arm on purpose.

“Sure, there’s a few things you’ll have to do before I officially call you husband again.” You listed off chores, errands, and body parts.

Semi licked his lips, “I can do that.”

---

BONUS:

Playlist for all the music nerds out there: (aka my headcanon of 'Electric Guest's Latest Album)

"Max It Out" - Electric Guest --- The main song from this fic, Semi's confession fic. It was not the only confession song he wrote though. One day, all the lyrics he wrote became less about teenagerhood and fun and genuinely about love.

"Get Out" -Electric Guest --- Our main character's favorite song, it's about exceptionalism. If you can't handle the heat, don't play in the arena. Also about gambling and not going back to toxic people. MC is an icon for sure for having this as her favorite song (Max It Out is her actual favorite, but would rather die than tell Semi)

"This Head I Hold" - Electric Guest --- Matsukawa's favorite, he gets to start the song off with his keyboard. Also Matsukawa's favorite because it's about getting high. The druggie energy is strong with him.

"That's What Happens" -Kid Bloom --- An unreleased Semi song, depression hit him hard when he and Konoha had their heart-to-heart. He kept it locked away until this very specific album release. When he went into detail telling our main character about why he wrote the song, she had to wipe tears from the corners of Semi's eyes, give him love please.

"Window Pane (Pretty Little Thing)" - GSoul --- Hanamaki's favorite song off their newest album, mostly because he helped to write the lyrics, but he'll still love to sing "Lavender Sunflower" because no words sung will ever top "sexify" for him.

"Hold Me" - Hojean --- Futakuchi's favorite song from the new album because the drums are the most heavily featured at the core. And because the autotune is heavy enough to let him pretend Hanamaki isn't the one singing.

"Wake" - Jiwoo --- When Semi wrote this one, Konoha had spent hours trying to figure out who it was about. To Konoha's shock it was about his ex-girlfriend turned into lifelong best friend. Konoha almost got revenge by punching Semi and telling him that it had already been two years, and that someone would make a move soon. Semi then explained his idea for his confession. Konoha realized his friend may be an actual genius.

"Oh Devil" - Electric Guest --- Konoha's favorite song off the new album, he spent the most time in the recording studio practicing this one, he even picked up some additional instruments to help produce it to its highest potential.

"Basic" - Electric Guest --- Semi's hate-piece to the label and to other bands who had been calling out Electric Guest's unconventional style choices. The label thought this one would be the least streamed, jokes on them because it got TikTok famous (courtesy of Semi's newly shown off girlfriend making hot edits for each of the band members)

"Charismatic" - Hailey Knox --- Hanamaki's only duet with a woman. The singer loved what they were doing, and asked to be the main vocal on a b-side song. When all was said and done, Hanamaki and Matsukawa finally had another person to blow smoke with when listening to "Sex, Drugs, Etc."

[mins-fins]

˖﹙🌊﹚FROM LITTLE WAVE

｡｡｡ what do you do when the guy you envy is also the guy you sort of have a crush on?

P ─  kim doyoung x m!rdr. G ─ alternative universe, cute lil choir student romance, fluff, light angst, comfort, happy ending. W ─ swearing, readers stuck in his thoughts for the most part, awkward but its apart of the charm. WC ─ 2.7k

you aren’t an idiot, you realized the imminent threat of joining the school choir.

and no, you don’t mean your fellow members are attempting a plan at your demise, that would be somewhat ironic considering the lack of danger expected from choir students, it’s actually something much smaller, a feat most would giggle at if you ever uttered it into the world.

insecurity.

right, how funny, the act of finding yourself less worthy to others because of vocal projection is absolutely amusing, when you relayed such a thing to your mother, she had trouble stifling her very own laughter. she did not dismiss your worries, simply stated that most people will not care whilst you’re vocalizing in unison with a group of other people.

you wished it was that easy, truly, your life would run much smoother if it disappeared in the sense adults always said it would.

you have never allowed for your envy to make too much face, it would be a disaster, from what you’ve learned about everybody in the same program as you, they greatly struggle to keep secrets. you once told jungwoo you had a crush on a cute upperclassman, who he then blurted the information to, completely eliminating trust you could have for him.

jaehyun would simply laugh, you suppose taeyong would be understanding, but he’s much too close to the person you’re having disturbing worries about.

disturbing is truly a strange word.

you have absolutely nothing against kim doyoung. kind, upstanding, unbearably yet adorably awkward kim doyoung, nothing personal about him irks you. he holds a pretty smile and bears even prettier eyes, his voice is to die fo— oh, yeah, there’s your problem.

he’s simply unbeatable, you can’t even allow for enough anger to fester for there to be a fit of genuine envy there, you can simply stare. though above average in your class, you aren’t a failure or anything, you just aren’t on his level.

“did you even hear what i said?”

you blink, now completely unfocused. when your met with unfazed irritation of kim jungwoo’s expression, you realize you probably made a mistake. “what?” you sputter, hands kept clasped together as you and a heavy sigh.

“i was talking about how much work song decided to assign and you were gawking at kim doyoung”.

you scoff, arms folding in your typical defense mechanism. “gawking is incorrect”.

“so what were you doing?”

“just.. looking”.

unfortunately, you’ve never prided yourself on your spectacular performance in relation to dishonesty, you might just be the worst liar in your program, and it’s clear jungwoo can see through it all, you’re afraid he may be a mind reader, or some sort of alien.

his eyes narrow in their usual suspicion, you nearly begin trembling at just the burning reach of his eyes, he’s crazy. “do you—”

“no” you snap, a finger pressing to his shoulder. “i know what you’re going to say, i do not have feelings for doyoung, you’re crazy”.

“ouch, my heart! can you believe it jaehyunie?”

though his corner of mutual support, jeong jaehyun seems to not care less about the peril lacing the current situation, he wasn’t even listening, that is indicated by his resulting flinch.

“can i believe..?”

it seems kim jungwoo is facing the same problem with that of ignorance in two different people, but you muse that he deserves it, just for being the captain of your irritation.

yet you can’t help the tensing of your shoulders when you hear the typical praise towards doyoung behind your back, well of course.

you aren’t jealous, it’s simply.. well, you can’t exactly pinpoint what you must be feeling. jealousy does not encapsulate how it all goes. the toppling of your stomach is puzzling, because for such an angelic figure, you cannot help the loose dread wavering in the air.

you pride yourself on your intelligence.. mostly, yet you feel as if you haven’t taken this situation in the most clever of ways.

you sneak over a glimpse, the other oblivious to your heavy stare. your eyes shut as you turn, something of slight irritation bubbling up inside of you. “fuck this..”

“language”.

you glare, jaehyun has no right to chastise. “sounds better coming from taeyong, you swear like a sailor”.

“better to hear it from someone used to it”.

you have to resist the very burning desire which entails flipping him off.

you’re aware of your lateness.

your backpack lies dormant against the nearby chair, yet you’re much too busy, you aren’t going to hear any incoming calls.

“oh, i wasn’t expecting for somebody to be here”.

your eyes don’t have to flit upward, you know who just entered, and maybe you hate yourself for having kim doyoung’s voice etched into your own brain, flowing through the bouts of your nervous system. you finish gathering everything you need, attempting to avoid eye contact whilst gazing at your bag.

you feel his eyes trailing you, yet he doesn’t comment on the strange nature of your expressions. “sorry, i know we aren’t supposed to be here after—”

“oh i won’t tell”.

your resulting stare betrays the genuine contentment you feel, but even the word ‘feel’ is its own stretch, it can’t be anger, though, because such a beauty harboring a feat of rage, that would only result in jealousy, you aren’t jealous of his features, you find them striking. “i simply got pretty distracted, i know studying in this room is.. you know, frowned upon”.

“well it provides silence for once”.

when you sling your backpack over your shoulder, you now are unable to avoid eye contact. your eyes flit against your will, and lord fuck kim doyoung, fuck his beautiful face, his beautiful voice, his— his everything!

but you aren’t exactly pissed, simply.. something. frustrated? annoyed? well annoyed sounds much too rude.

“yeah” your response is breathy. “it’s nice to escape jungwoo’s grasp from time to time”.

you begin picking at your fingers.

doyoung tuts, as if having a peculiar thought on his mind, you hope he isn’t reading your own, you’d shrink, hope to disappear, find a witch who could easily turn you into dust. “y/n”.

you enjoy his pronunciation of your name, slips off the tongue easily. “yes?”

“um.. did i do something wrong?”

you gaze, intent on keeping your truths to yourself, yet unable to resist crumbling under his gaze. “no..”

“i mean— i know we’ve never been friends but i really do feel like i did something wrong, you.. i feel like you glare?”

your eyes bug out indecisively, nothing but their typical dumbstruck manner. so he noticed, now he’s going to be angry, he’s absolutely pissed—

“i’m just curious”.

you again happen to be one of the worst liars in your program, completely given away by the irregular twitch of your facial expressions. you’re afraid he might ball up a fist, yet all he exudes is patience, a stark difference to the impression you expect.

but why would you expect disgust? sweet, tense kim doyoung could probably barely fathom even frowning at somebody, let alone punch you.

you aren’t good at lying, and also have little luck making accurate assumptions.

“i— uh.. well—”

terrific y/n, stutter, you’re making a good case for yourself there.

if you were doyoung, you would punch yourself, if not for your clear lack of confidence, then just for the fact of your weak speech.

“it’s not glaring, i just.. i can’t compare to you”.

he doesn’t seem to expect that one, the shock coloring his features much too obvious. “like uh.. physically?”

oh you hate yourself.

“no um.. well— it’s actually about uh.. vocal parts..”

doyoung remains silent for a moment, tilting his head to the side. you feel your face burn, heat manifesting in a red color staining your vain skin, it’s embarrassing to inherently admit such a thing to a person.

yet you realize that if you squint hard enough, you could just barely make out the identical shade painting his cheeks.

doyoung can’t seem to make out a response, so you opt to take the easy way out; “it’s late, my mother will be worrying, i’ll see you tomorrow”.

terrible choice of words, but you decide to turn anyway, practically running from the eyes of the guy you sort of maybe like but also horrific envy.

you almost trip on your own feet on the way out, you ensure a swear under your breath once you make your exit.

you hope he doesn’t see that one.

along with the lack of skill pertaining to lying, you cannot mask your emotions enough to feign clear normalcy,

because it’s extremely difficult to act all normal after vomiting up your guts right before practice. typically jungwoo would sneak in a quick quip, but he seems to sense the extent of your anxiety today, so he allows for it to remain inward.

your sleeves are stained with cool sink water, the chill of the outside hair sticking to your individual hair strands, they opt to stand upward instead of pressing softly to your skin.

“you don’t seem fine, are you sick?”

you allow for your eyes to flutter closed, head pounding as if you’ve had a crazy night, the pit in your stomach remains. “no i’m okay, just nervous”.

jungwoo quirks his eyebrow upward, puzzled. “really? throwing up is..”

“i’m fine, i can get through this..”

yet you stare into the bathroom mirror as if you fear something, or someone specifically.

no, it’s not like you fear doyoung, he’s practically harmless, jungwoo could probably murder you, taeyong would crush your skull between his hands, and jaehyun will shoot anything that even irks him in the slightest, considering your track record, doyoung’s technically the best person to be around.

you take in your appearance, yeah, you wouldn’t be surprised if the instructor gave you the early in to go home, your mother would barely even let you leave the house this morning, how you didn’t throw up there was a mystery.

just as you feel that maybe you should take the day off, your worst nightmare (a stretched hyperbole) walks in afterward. you just shoot your head quickly enough that you happen to catch a glimpse of the man who technically made you throw up everything in your stomach.

you would be pleased to blissfully ignore doyoung’s presence if not for him grabbing the spot beside you, the gleam of his own eyes reflected in the mirror, a gentle gaze which puts an astounding pit in your stomach.

you both remain an equal extent of silent, you close your eyes, pleading with the world for you to simply disappear from everything.. you may throw up once again, you really wouldn’t be surprised.

“am i bothering you?”

your eyes snap elsewhere. “you don’t have to leave, i’m just.. feeling strange”.

“are you sick?”

“kinda..”

you swallow down your whisper, anxious about quite literally everything, the room seizing you in its grasp and clogging your airways with filth, rendering you speechless against your will.

“i was thinking about what you said the other day”.

your hands brace the sink, maybe you should attempt to knock yourself out, do something drastic to escape this petrifying situation.

but doyoung is sweet, so sweet, he’s patient, and you aren’t donghyuck, so he has no problem with that action. your feet anxiously tap against the floor, his silence now freaking you out. “it was sort of mean to say..”

“no, i understand”.

you hope he isn’t just saying that to please you, the clear anxiety you exhibit must be bothering him.

“i just— i get how you feel..” he begins picking at his fingers, you still avoid his gaze. you catch the red hue painting his cheeks, strange, why would he be nervous?

“there’s no need for comparison, you’re spectacular, i think all the praise just comes from lee’s high standards”.

“if you keep heading that way you might rip your vocal cords”.

he chuckles enough that you feel slightly less stressed. “i think you should go home, you look..”

“yeah, i’m probably gonna vomit again”.

and really, you can’t help but glance his way this time, the particular gleam of his pupils somewhat adorable. he’s.. cute, much cuter than you expected anyway.

of course you’ve known people fawn over kim doyoung, but you now think the picture on why is explicitly clear.

you aren’t included in that group, though, just because you think he’s cute—

“take care of yourself y/n”.

you blush, looking away. “i will..”

maybe you forget to truly digest those words, because you simply revert back to your old tricks.

your parents fear the sudden vomiting episodes, so they practically keep you trapped at home until they’re sure you no longer have a ‘stomach bug’ (which was a lie you told them, though you guess your anxiety could equate as such),

and that lasts a good three days.

three days basically means you’re considered dead, jungwoo nearly dies without your presence, a prospect which is rich when ignoring traded insults, you suppose that’s his way of showcasing his love. you really thought jaehyun wouldn’t even flinch at the fact of your disappearance, yet he ensured that he sent you a cute smiley face over text.

“are you sure you’re alright?”

“yes, i’m okay, i can’t miss any more days” you state, tongue a bitter taste in your mouth. you miss any more days and jungwoo will probably strangle you, apparently something concerning how your presence helps with the betterment of his day.

you really just hope you get no sight of doyoung, yeah avoiding him won’t increase your chances of friendship, but you’re afraid you might say something stupid, might throw up, might give yourself away..

wait— what exactly would you give away?

in all honesty, you feel ridiculous, your situation comical, why are you afraid of a cute guy? woah, no, you aren’t afraid of him, you’re simply very avoidant of said cute guy.

just tell the guy you have a crush on him, jungwoo stated.

i do not have a crush on him, you replied, but you couldn’t escape the reach of his smile.

you scribble for a moment, just up until there’s a knock on your door.

you originally assume it’s your mother, but she never knocks, and neither does your father, so that eliminates both of them..

“um.. yes?”

the door opens, and it’s— oh.

doyoung blinks through widened eyes, arms hidden behind his back totally inconspicuously. he whistles, glancing around. “hi”.

you want to die, but it’s in a somewhat good way this time. you clear your throat, suddenly self conscious as you stand to your feet, not tripping this time.

god you’re a fucking loser.

“hi” you tuck a hair strand behind your ear. “this is funny, um.. i didn’t expect you to be here”.

“well” he pauses, uncharacteristic. “i was still thinking about what you said, and i realized my comfort probably wasn’t the best..”

“well it isn’t your fault, my own insecurities shouldn’t be taken out on others”.

“yeah but i still wanted to get you something” you peak, but doyoung doesn’t allow room for any more surprises, he moves his hands around and presents what he’d been hiding.

and yes, you did expect a flower bouquet, yet it really is the sweetest gesture ever. it’s silent, but it has an impact no matter what, you like flowers, and you especially love amaryllises, you don’t remember telling him that, you have to assume he got it from a friend. “you really didn’t have to”.

“sorry, just wanted to”.

“don’t apologize it’s so..” you pause to contemplate, maybe you should confess your love for him or something.

no, too early.

you simply admire for a moment, feeling the petals with the curvature of your own fingertips. you then glance upward, hoping you aren’t yet giving yourself away, that can be saved for another time.

“it’s so cute, you know how to flatter a guy”.

doyoung smiles, just the slightest bit flustered. oh, that’s cute.

“do you like them?”

“love them”.

you again extend your silence, but it’s a very, very, very importantly genuine silence. you’re still processing, still trying to manage the flurry of thoughts swirling throughout your mind.

“thank you, pretty voice, pretty personality huh?”

once again, he blushes. “my voice is pretty?” maybe it’s a bit cocky, but he clearly seeks out the compliment purposefully.

“very pretty, haven’t you heard?”

“well i like hearing it from you”.

[solarwynd]

I don't know if you know this but there's this pjm discord community that has this long ass google form you have to fill out where they asked you a bunch of question about Jimin and quiz you and ask for streaming and voting prove and then you have to wait to see if you've been approved before you can join. I'm bringing this up because I feel like the BTS members should be required to pass this process before they're allowed to talk about Jimin because I swear most of the things they say about him are either shallow things that help perpetuate tired stereotypes or are straight up just wrong information.

I remember when that weverse interview with pdogg and ghstloop talking about Muse came out someone said that in one single interview those two praised and said more significant and insightful things about Jimin than some members did over the course of ten years. And while some members can be exceptions (Namjoon will occasionally say some interesting things about Jimin) what this person said is sadly true. And I think part of reason for this has to do with the way the members have become used to talking. I'm referring to how they talk as if they're speaking directly and exclusively to armys instead of the general public. And the way some of them talk to armys can often be very parasocial. The way they talk is like 'We love you more than anything. Everything we do is about you. Only armys and the group matter to us. We're not individuals, we're a collective'. And I think this way of talking really limits what they can actually say and so often they'll repeat generic things we've heard a million times before and end up not really say anything of substance. Meanwhile, people like the SGMB producers don't have the habit of talking like this so they'll say things that are way more accurate and insightful.

And there's also BTS's (and Hybe's) insistence with putting every member in a specific box and only talking about each other in the context of the box they're in and very rarely saying something that shows them to be more than the superficial roles they've been assigned to years ago.

(Yea I know about the discord sever. I even tried taking the test for play play and realized even if I wanted to get in, that’s probably never going to happen)

I very much agree with BTS basically having been conditioned to manitain a specific image of their brand for so long that it has become damaging in a way.

Seeing what Jin had to say about WHO irritated me cause we already have to deal with armys thinking Jimin’s entire existence is BTS and armys alone and that they basically own him. That’s why in hindsight, BTS making armys such a big part of their branding was a double edged sword. None of the members can put out anything without armys feeling the need to relate it back to the group or them. There’s literally no room for individuality and most of BTS themselves have fostered this. MUSE is in the same vein of being personal to Jimin as FACE was. He blatantly said what WHO was about in an interview and never even mentioned armys. The only song on MUSE that is specifically about them is CTT and that’s because it’s a fan song. So why did he feel the need to say that? If he didn’t know what WHO was really about, then why speak on it?

Jin has made it clear that he’s comfortable to wrapping his entire existence as a member of BTS around armys and he can do that. But Jimin has never done it. He has only ever shown fan appreciation. So when he makes something that is personal to HIM, it should stay that way.

[gvtted-ratz]

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Soft To The Core

König x M!Reader

Last Edited: 03/01/23

TW: death mentioned

AO3 LINK -> HERE

anon: 4 with König and he/him male reader. That is all <- frothing at the mouth but being SO COOL about it (4. accidental touching!!!!)

Word Count: 767

Notes: hey again bestie… i see u. i have our dms about the man n u frothing btw. Also. ik absolutely nothing about guns n stuff so uh. oop ig… also. i made the reader like. kinda techy n speak some russian? i was listening 2 gore by graveyardguy as i wrote this just so u know. Didn’t influence much of the thing but the title is definitely from the song.

You hum as you clean your sniper rifle; the disassembled piece of metal all over your lap. Usually, you would be around a table or even in your own assigned room. However, today they had a mandatory room check. While you didn’t mind it, having all the tables and sitting areas taken out in the cafeteria as well as the shooting range didn’t help. This leads to you sitting underneath a small pine. It’s fairly young, being only large enough to cast enough of a shadow to give you cover from the sun.

While you don’t mind cleaning your gun, making sure your laptop was in better shape or needed to be put back together was more interesting. While you’ve done it a hundred times before, for you, it never got old. You enjoyed taking apart the electronic gadgets and putting them back together. Seeing how they work and even improving them intrigued you more than going out on the field and sending bullets people’s way to splatter their blood everywhere. The missions they assign you in KorTac have been nothing but boring or a pain. You’ve never actually trained for this part or even with the rifle at all. You are more of someone who hacks cameras, reads coding to try and find anything that could give enemies away, and even disarm some bombs via the tech you have on hand during said times.

Now, while it’s not something you prefer doing, you can’t help but enjoy at least one of your members. König, or King as many call him, is your favourite man. Despite his awkward social interactions, he’s never been particularly rude to you. Nor has the giant Austrian ever tried to get on your nerves. He keeps to himself mostly, leading to you having to seek him out if you want company. Sometimes he’s out and about, though he’s either alone or towering over the other soldiers.

Of course, that doesn't mean he’s not deadly. You’ve seen him out on the field. He’s truly a rampaging beast. He picks up enemy soldiers and cracks their backs over his knee. He’ll gun them down or snipe them, giving a laugh or giggle. He’ll yell out in a happy tone “I have some cash!” whenever he gets his hands on even a single coin. He’s wilder and more brutal. And you couldn’t help but notice. However, despite noticing it, you didn’t treat the man any differently.

A large pair of military-issued boots appear in front of your crisscrossed legs. Looking up, you see the man you’ve been thinking of as you cleaned the barrel of your gun. “Ah. König,” You say, giving him a small smile. “Привет! How has my favourite man been?” König’s hands are loosely holding each other, nearly touching his stomach with his chosen position.

“Ah… Ich meine, es lief gut…” He says, looking uncomfortable standing there. You gesture to the ground next to you, letting him know that he can sit beside you. With confirmation now obtained, König lets himself fall into a seated position right next to you. He ends up knocking his knee into your thigh; you wince at the sharp pain but laugh it off.

“I’m so sorry..! I did not mean to hit you. Bitte vergib mir!” The large man starts to apologize immediately, already beating himself up over the accidental touch. You wave him off, trying to make your smile softer to try and reassure the Austrian.

“ нет, нет! Все хорошо, ты в порядке!” Your words seem to calm him down a bit, despite him not exactly understanding your words. “Besides, König, I say you’re sharp as a knife but Soft To The Core.” You’re not sure why, but the words felt right to say.

“Ja? Well… They do say beauty is on the inside, Freund,” He tells you; a nearly inaudible chuckle escapes him. You feel another smile pull at your lips at his words.

“They sure do, мой возлюбленный. They sure do.” You mumble. With some silence between the two of you, it’s easy to hear the shout of one of your captains letting you all know that the mandatory room clearance has been finished. You playfully smack König’s shoulder, clasping it as you stand. “Let’s go back, да?” When he gives you a nod, you shove your gun parts into the duffle bag you brought just for it. “Let’s go then! Maybe we can grab some food once these bozos clear out.” With those last words, you take the lead, König following behind you quietly and with genuine happiness shining in his eyes.

[soundlesswind]

Went to the One OK Rock concert yesterday; which was amazing. One of the best concerts I've ever been to; Taka sang like a fallen angel (highs, and lows---they were all pitch perfect) It's already their 5th or 6th time here, yet I hadn't had a chance until now.

The sound quality and light show by the venue was also really great, I was pretty impressed. Would definitely go again if they used this venue or similar (it was huge and well ventilated). Move-in was also really fast, and they started the concert 19-minutes in which is really quick. You don't gotta line up either (except for general), if you bought assigned seats. The entire band members were fantastic, and they gave us two encores. The showmanship was definitely superb.

Part way through the concert, Taka (in English) was telling a cute story about how they went to a Japanese restaurant the day before. And they usually play rock-paper-scissors where winner has to pay for the entire crew (which Taka jokingly said was BS, since it's usually the other way around---he won of course). But that's when the owner walked out from the back and said the whole thing was on the house. OKR was surprised because it was the first time anyone had ever done this for them, so they invited the restaurant owners to the concert as thanks and put them on the spotlight. Afterwards, Taka enthused to not do this again because the concert was already a one-and-done day... but then his band members (in Japanese) replied that it would probably happen again later now that he said it (laughs), and continued to reply (in Japanese), "yeah we're probably going start more shit tonight". It was already their umpteenth world tour concert by now so I was surprised to hear this was their first time ever. I went with my friend who, this is her 5th time going to their concerts, and so I asked her how it compared to the previous ones she's been to and she said it was definitely their best to date; and she's seen them go from tiny cramped venues to something this spacious and practically full-house.

I've been a very long time fan from when they just started to garner fame but it makes me real happy to see that they've become a household name. Mid-show, Taka pointed the mic to the audience for one song, and they sang a whole verse in Japanese in unison, and honestly my city's population is not that big so I was surprised but also not surprised because everyone here truly are just super fans.

Unrelated, but my phone camera is surprisingly impressive? I caught a lot of footage in real decent light, sound and image quality (it won't be as nice uploaded to the web since it'll be compressed, but here's a short clip of my two favourites).

[lightlycareless]

The perfect girl by mareux = Naoya and y/n

( if you listen to the lyrics you’ll understand !!🤭)

Hi!!!

First of all, I'm so sorry it took me a while to get back to you! Between answering other asks and writing snippets here and there... well, I got busy. But I will always do my best to respond to all!!!! And now, here I am. Moving on...

Omg this song I heard it everywhere but I never really gave it much attention—AND NOW, IT FITS NAOYA AND Y/N VERY WELL.

Now following the lyrics and song itself, I get a sense of being so irrevocably in love/obsessed with said girl that’s being sung about—just about the words I’d use to describe what Naoya feels for you haha.

warnings: fluff. a bit of highschool au. in my mind, that's how they officially met.

I always believed that the reason why Naoya fell so hard for you is because you were completely different from his world. And somehow the sentence strange girl takes me back to when you and Naoya first met.

Naoya obviously knew that once the year ended, they’d be a bunch of new students gracing the school grounds. Nothing that he would’ve normally cared for outside of observing if there were any girls that might catch his interest, but this time around he was forced to be attentive all thanks to your annoying siblings who had made such a big deal about your enrollment.

“Another idiot to join their shenanigans. Great!” He’d say, just about the usual harsh words he’d use towards them, because he hated them.

Kind of. Mostly. Depending on the context. He did not get along with them, at all; yet again, nobody did.

But then, when the fated day finally comes and he gets a glimpse of you… all preconceived notions were promptly thrown out the window, becoming immediately smitten by you.

He just… couldn’t peel his eyes away from the strange girl that honored the hallways with her hypnotizing presence. There was something so intoxicating about your appearance, a sense of purity that showed you had remained largely ignorant of the cruelties of life. Or at least those that are usually bestowed to members of the jujutsu community.

And that just made you stranger before his eyes; odd that someone like you, part of a somewhat important family, was still capable of being cheerful, with both yourself and others.

But as unusual as it was… Naoya was still enveloped with a grave urge to protect you. Shelter that same innocence he had been unwittingly stripped away from, while hoping he’d keep getting that same gentle demeanor you’ve always bestowed upon him when possible:

The way you were always so eager to tell him about your endeavors, whatever mission or school assignment you were tasked with—either to complain, or seek advice, he didn’t care for what as long as you went to him—always considering him above others it seemed, when the rest wouldn’t even bother to look at his direction if not to seek advantage of his title, or simply avoid him…

The way you’d softly call his name, imprinting the moment it happened the first time in the back of his mind: the tone of your voice, the look in your face… like you were happy to see him! When was the last time he could say that about anyone? Not even his own father…

The way you’d compliment his work; a sincere appreciation that didn’t come from recited words out of fear of reprehension or interest in obtaining favors. You saw what he was capable of and took interest in it with hopes of improving yourself, or to simply encourage him.

And of course, the way you took your time to get to know him. Not the heir, not the talented sorcerer, but the man himself; Naoya. Having little no to interest in his family outside of comparing lifestyles, see if he too grew tired of pestering elders and overbearing parents, or if he even got along with his siblings.

…

Naoya felt human for the first time in his life with you, your words filling a void he could never satisfy with the empty gestures of his surroundings… So how did you not expect him to fall in love?

“You’re a strange girl, Y/N.” He’d disclose to you one day, the moment he finally came to terms with his feelings for you, much to your horror.

“Oh, is that—is that a good thing?” you fret, for such adjective was rarely used in positive prospect.

But to Naoya, that word only meant you were beyond good.

You were perfect.

I'm sure Y/N did most of the approaching and Naoya just stood there like the tsundere I always envisioned him to be; it's not until he grows comfortable that he becomes the suave, teasing guy we all know and love (I mean, in my mind hahahaha) but yeah... it's safe to say that to him you were a strange little thing that he ended up falling in love with 🥺

Hnnnnnggggg this was so sweet to write, though the song kind of went more into a dark aspect ngl, or so that's how I felt it 🤣

Anyways, thank you so much for your patience!!! I really love it when I get sent songs that reminds y'all of Naoya and YN, ajgkhasjkghajksgas it adds depth to their relationship you know?

Now, take care and hope to see you soon!!

[jkftkth]

i really do wonder what a bts comeback will mean and does every member have a plan figured out for themselves.

fan accounts going awol when some members were exploring their artistic individuality and only now resurfacing because a group reunion is closer - it makes you think. was there ever even an artistic connection? or was it more about what has been sold to the audience over musical talents - an entertaining family dynamic/bond fans can project onto. fitted roles where a member is only likeable if they’re playing it just right.

2024 changed my feelings for good on where i think i belong, and there’s probably little that could happen for me to want to be part of bts’ fandom again.

firstly, there’s only so far you can go being a fan of tae and having to witness on a daily basis the level of disrespect he faces from both company and fandom no one else has. when you see quite literally the worst of the worst, day after day, but it’s only a limited amount of fans who voice concern and make actual space for the exclusive severity of it all to be acknowledged and discussed and questioned…you either stay and pretend it’s not happening/it’s not “the actual worst” because it’s impossible to satisfy every fan, orrrrr—

i mean, everything until up to now has been with the intent of a) making us fall for the brainwashing so we stop advocating for him as an individual, or b) exhaust us into quitting being his fan so his label can turn around and say to him hey look—why did you think you could make it when no one likes you?

and i obviously believe other members are a victim in their own way too. because you would have to be living under a rock to not see that hybe does not respect its idols as workers, as money makers, and as humans. neither does it protect most of them, the actual opposite for specifically taegikook and so a fan of the group or not, anyone would naturally want better for hybes idols across the board because they deserve better than staff badmouthing them in official reports and on online platforms.

of course there are other reasons i’ve had enough, such as contractual fan service being pushed so much whilst at the same time fandom reactions being intensely watched and made note of to the extent labels are out here monitoring fanfiction and assigning tropes to members and not caring what type of delusion and hate that cultivates??! to the group motto of “us is always before me” being celebrated, to fandom not actually caring about idols’ rights, to fandom falling for a dirty pr firm’s media manipulation/fabrication so easily, to hybe basically being in all fandom spaces with their dumb ass bots to sway opinion, to i mean the list goes on.

i don’t think i’d call myself bitter, or a hater, or a “solo.”once they return i’ll feel relief for all of them that that chapter of their life is over and they came out safe and sound (🙏), but i confess i have little excitement for a group album because group songs mean one thing for fans of tae and group arrangements always do the opposite of wanting him to shine and group entertainment is hard to enjoy when you know there’s a script running more often than not at his expense.

a tour? well i know there’s sincerity in how important performing is, and it’ll probably mean a lot after 18 months of being forced away from that, so it will be nice to see them doing what they find enjoyable yes. do i look forward to the exerting schedules for the sake of making up for hybes financial losses? do i look forward to the billionaire continuing to rip them off while he carries on riding their success as his own?

i know there are contracts. i know idols’ rights are a topic of concern and few are willing to talk about it and make a change. i know their industry can get really manipulative really fast as soon as they step out of line and that can lead to a really dark reality. i know there’s always a bad guy in the story. i know the group is still important and loved by tae (and jk), i know he wants to think the best of the group’s fandom because he is still a group member, i know i’ll support him wherever he goes but like

it’s just hard to forget the least three years and stay unaffected.

[maretinelli]

I CAME TO APOLOGIZE

Sirius Black X fem!reader

Summary: Y/n and Sirius have been having an affair since Hogwarts, but this shouldn't continue anymore, as he is married.

Words: 1.3K+

Warnings: Lover, mention of betrayal (but without specifications), mention of pregnancy, Order of the Phoenix, anguish and no happy ending.

Author: English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes there may be in the process. And again, this idea came from a Brazilian song (I'll leave it here at the end) I could even do it part 2, but I like to leave some drama.

MASTERLIST

Sirius and Y/n always had an affair.

Most of their years at Hogwarts they hid in the corridors to have some alone time.

In the fifth year, James, Remus, Peter and Lily - the girl's best friend, found out about the affair they had.

However, as there always has to be a thorn in their side, when Y/n said she was in a relationship with Sirius, her family made their lives hell until they broke up. But of course, they said they had separated, but in the middle of the night they both left the dorm to meet each other.

It was like that until mid-seventh year, when Marlene McKinnon's parents thought it was a good idea for the girl to marry Sirius.

Yes, they already had a relationship before Black got involved with Y/n. They had a past, but the past is the past and Sirius just wanted to be with his sweet, beloved Y/n. But it wasn't like that.

After Marlene and Sirius got engaged, the Black boy still met with Y/n on the sly. When they got married, Sirius still went out to meet Y/n.

And on the trips that the Order designated? Yes, they also went out on the sly. Or when Sirius asked Dumbledore to put him to work with Y/n, just to be with her.

After they left Hogwarts, they had been going back and forth for two years. And no one ever suspected it, not even Marlene. Which left Y/n's heart with a hole, because she liked Marls' friendship, but she loved her Sirius much more.

Which wasn't yours per se, but rather one of your best friends.

Recently, Marlene always told Lily and Y/n when they went out together that she was planning to have a baby with Sirius. Which of course was the last straw for Y/n, she couldn't stay in the middle of a family that was about to be built.

She had to put an end to it.

She was going to put an end to it.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dumbledore had asked the members of the Order of the Phoenix to meet so he could assign some tasks and explain some news he had about the war.

And taking advantage of the gap, Y/n on the same night would end everything she had with Sirius, so that somehow he could move on and love Marlene as he loved young Y/n.

The house where the meetings were held was still very empty, it was just Y/n, Alice and Remus there talking and setting the table to have tea.

Alice and Remus were deep in conversation while Y/n looked at the floor and wrapped her wand in her hand. Her feet, which were clad in a black all-star that Sirius had given her last winter, were tapping on the wooden floor of the small meeting house.

When she hears someone opening the front door, she gets up from her kitchen chair and walks over to the person. Already knowing who it was, she quickly took the person's hand and led her to the back yard, which was starting to be covered in white snow.

"Damn doll, I barely made it" Sirius whispers in her ear, as Y/n dragged him to the back.

"Sirius, Shiuu!!. Alice and Moony are here" Y/n whispers in an angrier tone.

“Then we must be quick”

"No!! Sirius, no" she turns quickly when they reach the furthest part of the house, where no one could see them or hear their conversation.

"Are you well?" The Black boy looks at her seriously, while running his hand over the girl's cheek.

Y/n shudders at the touch and closes her eyes. Tears were already splashing in my eyes, just thinking about what I had to say.

"I don't think this is working anymore" Y/n says in a quieter voice.

"What are you talking about, honey?"

"You may hate me, but it's been a while since I came into your home. And I can't live with that anymore, Marls loves you so much and her parents love you so much. The family you're in is so beautiful. , I can't do this anymore, Sirius. We've spent many years doing this and I don't regret a thing, but lately Marlene has been so excited saying she wants to build a family with you, and I feel like my heart is breaking more and more. I have We want to get this over with, Sirius." Y/n sheds some tears. "I love you so much, but there's no way..."

Sirius looks at her with a few tears falling as well.

"No Y/n, look, please don't do this. I love you so much, I couldn't bear to live without you"

"That's the problem Sirius, you're supposed to love Marlene. She's the one you married, and she's the one you're supposed to love and protect." Y/n shakes her head trying to avoid more tears. "And you know we already tried this once, but it seems like nothing was in our favor, and now, look Sirius, you have a beautiful and special woman by your side, her family loves you and she is very happy with you"

"We can run away together, I'll separate from her and we can get out of here. But please, stay with me"

Y/n cry.

"I can't do this to you, Sirius. I'm finishing" she sobs. "I hope you are happy and have such a beautiful family, you deserve it so much" before leaving, she places one last kiss on Sirius' lips and puts her hand on his shoulder before leaving the place.

She would have to recover from her tears in the bathroom before returning to the room and greeting everyone, as if nothing had happened.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Everyone had already arrived at the small meeting house and Dumbledore had already said he needed to speak. Now, at the moment, everyone was gathered in the kitchen of the small house where they shared stories and small talk.

Sirius was on the other side of the room, leaning against the counter while he had a cup of tea in his hands and looked deeply at Y/n. He wanted to cry every time he remembered the woman's words.

He might as well shut everyone up and say he loved Y/n with all his heart and run with her out the door and run off to some snowy country with a field of flowers in the summer.

But that would be cowardly with Marlene.

Y/n also felt that Sirius was looking at her throughout the meeting and that he hadn't stopped until now. The woman had a cup of tea in her hands as she looked at the floor and understood the conversation Lily was having with her and Alice.

"Hey guys!!" Marlene draws the attention of all the members of the Order and taps the cup with a spoon. "Sirius and I have some news to tell you!!" She says happily and everyone is euphoric waiting for her to tell. "We're having a baby!!" She smiles from ear to ear and puts her hand on her belly when people scream in celebration.

At that moment Y/n felt a tightness in her chest, but she refused to cry. Well, one of her friends was pregnant and would soon have a baby.

Y/n just swallows the crying and bitterness and walks until Marlene hugs the woman, congratulating and blessing the baby.

When she looks at Sirius, she puts her prettiest, fakest smile on her lips and shakes the taller man's hand. "Congratulations to the new daddy" Y/n smiles and then returns to her seat and continues with the smile on her face.

She was happy, it wasn't a lie. But his heart still tightened in his chest.

After all the euphoria of Marlene's pregnancy wore off, Y/n stepped forward and caught everyone's attention.

"Well, I also have something to share" Y/n says as she places her cup on the table.

"Oh, don't tell me you're pregnant too!!" Alice says excitedly and Sirius lifts his head to look at the woman.

Y/n shakes her head in denial and smiles.

"No, it's not that" she laughs. "I'm moving to Switzerland in a week" Y/n says as she puts her hands behind her back and rocks slightly on her feet.

Everyone looks at her shocked.

“Oh my god, what do you mean Y/n?” Lily asks, placing her hands on her best friend's shoulder.

"Then I went to Hogwarts and Dumbledore said he needed someone from the Order to do some work in Switzerland, but as most of them had families, he didn't know who to really appoint. So I volunteered, since I don't have a family anyway" she tells the other party quietly.

"Oh Y/n, we are your family" Lily says as she gives the woman a quick hug. "But we're also really happy for you" Lily kisses Y/n on the cheek and she smiles friendly.

"It was great news, but it's good to change the atmosphere. Good luck on your new journey, S/a" Marlene approaches her friend and hugs her.

"Thank you, Marls"

"I hope you at least come visit us" James pats his friend on the shoulder and she smiles.

"Always, I know you and Lily can't live without me" Y/n laughs and hugs her friend.

With that, Sirius, who was leaning against the counter, approaches Y/n and stands in front of her.

For a moment, she thought he would do something crazy and kiss her in front of everyone or confess his love. Which made the girl anxious and afraid.

"Congratulations and good luck, dear" he hugs his lover friend and she returns the comfort of the hug. "I hope you're very happy, and please, never forget my love for you. I love you so much, my girl" He says quietly just to her, making Y/n let out a few tears.

"Thank you guys, I love you so much" she leaves the hug and looks at everyone.

As soon as everyone congratulates and says good luck to the new citizen of Switzerland, Y/n says goodbye to everyone and says that she needs to go back to the apartment to finish organizing her things.

"Have a good trip, Y/n, evil seed" Remus hugs his friend and says the girl's famous nickname from her time at Hogwarts.

She laughs and then says goodbye to the blonde.

"Bye, guys" she smiles and then walks down the hallway that led to the front door.

"Wait, I'll take you to the door!!" Sirius says and then walks behind her.

The small space they walked to the door was completely silent. Until Y/n turned around and said a complete goodbye to her lover.

"It looks like we're on different paths now" Y/n laughs awkwardly and Sirius smiles.

"Yeah, it seems so" he lets a tear fall. "But always remember, my girl. You are my patron's happiest memory" he says and then seals his lips with the woman's for the last time.

"I love you, Sirius." Last thing she says before going down the front stairs of the house and heading to the sidewalk.

She looks back and blows Black an air kiss.

The last time they saw each other, neither of them would certainly forget that moment.

Part 2

Author: I said I like drama, but if you want you can ask for part 2. Furthermore, you can send me ideas for imagines to write Go to my question box and ask!! The available characters are displayed in my MASTERLIST

[kzuhasgf]

in between the lines

pairing — lily morrow x 7th member!reader

you and lily are THE chaotic besties. you can't be seen without each other and are like peas in a pod. what happens when there's a realization?

tags — f!reader (ethnicity friendly), idol!au genre — crack, fluff, ROMANCE (this is sickeningly sweet) word count — 4,840

notes — there's two curse words, reader is ’03 and knows how to cook, I had FUN with this one (I hope you enjoy it too), I WON'T SAY ANY SPOILERS!!

when you became a trainee at jyp, things were fun and exciting, meeting people like you, taking up new experiences, and working hard to fulfill your dream of becoming one of the most talented idols.

of course, that was all enjoyment at first.

trainee life is tiring and excruciating. for one, it takes a lot of time and effort. most of the time, years. it's your top priority to improve, so you must manage training, studying, eating, socializing, sleeping, and taking care of yourself all at once.

sometimes, it was too overwhelming for you.

that is because you had to do all of that, and there was always something to worry about. one second, you would rejoice about passing your monthly evaluation and then hear that your vocals aren't half as good as others who have been here.

when you ace that one challenging choreography your coach assigned to you, yet still compared to one of your seniors.

trainee life was tiring, demeaning, and excruciating.

not until you met lily.

you still remember the first time you saw her, walking into the wrong practice room.

realizing you were in the wrong room, you bowed and apologized profusely, her warmly saying that it was okay and there was nothing to worry about.

the second you made eye contact, something sparked, and that was something you could never describe.

you hadn't interacted with her that much, her being in the more skilled classes of the trainee groups. she was very well known and had been there before you by a long run, so finally seeing her in person made you curious.

"I'm sorry, excuse me,"

"but you're lily, right? I've heard a lot about you."

"oh!" she looked at you wide-eyed, "yes, I am lily. and only good things, I hope." she chuckled nervously, and you gave her a reassuring smile.

"of course. it's all good things,"

you checked your watch and frowned after seeing the minutes that passed. you had practice to get to and didn't want to get scolded by your teacher, so you couldn't stay for so long.

"I'm sorry to cut our conversation short, but I have to go. it's nice to meet you, I hope to see you again!"

"it's okay! see you wherever!" she smiled, and when you left, her eyes stayed on where your figure was far too long than she expected.

and guess what? "see you wherever," you did.

at least the second time you met.

this time, she stumbled upon you alone, in another practice room, at ten pm, on the floor.

you didn't hear her enter, so you lay there, unaware she was in the room. she recognized you by your appearance and by your previous interaction with her. by now, she had forgotten whatever she was planning and instead looked at you in concern.

"are you okay?" you opened your eyes, startled to see her doe ones stare at you from above.

you screamed, "aah!! oh. lily? hey, lily!"

"oh my god! don't scream like that again. it made me scream, too!" she put her hand on her chest.

"I'm sorry!" you said, getting up, your eyes widening as you saw her more clearly now and not be shadowed by herself.

"oh my god, lily."

"why? what's wrong?"

she looked gorgeous.

"wait, why are you even here? it's late, you shouldn't be practicing!" she asked and scolded you, her arms crossed and her eyebrows furrowed.

"oh, don't worry, I wasn't training. I was only lying on the floor, questioning things in my life," you answered her honestly, catching her off guard.

"oh. then, what were you thinking about?"

"hmm... well, I was thinking of important things to ones that weren't. like how my family is doing, if I'm good enough to be an idol, what song I should listen to before I sleep, or what I should eat tomorrow. all random stuff." you shrugged your shoulders, spacing out and looking at a wall.

"hey, what is this that I'm hearing?!"

you looked at her in surprise.

"you're good enough to be an idol. more than enough, actually. I even heard from other trainees that you're our new ace. that's not something you hear every day! I got interested in you."

your eyes lit up visibly.

"oh, wait, really? you got interested in me too?"

"too?" she questioned you.

"I, wait—"

"it's okay, y/n." she laughed, throwing her head back, smiling up to her eyes. your heart raced.

"you're so cute."

you can't stop yourself from staring.

"what you said a while ago about not knowing what song you wanted to listen to at night,"

she added, "I have a few songs in mind. do you want me to play it for you?" after nodding, she quickly walked to where the TV was, searching on youtube and playing an upbeat song.

she walked back to you with her brow raised, and she gave you a small smile, reaching her hand out to you.

you thought, if she looked this good with a messy bun and baggy clothes, how would she look when dressed up flawlessly?

"do you wanna sing for a bit? it's nothing intense, only a couple of songs."

your lips parted, eager to give her an answer—

"and, maybe after, I can show you some of the snacks I eat at the cafeteria."

your whole world stopped.

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you and lily couldn't ever seem to be apart.

after that night, you both became closer. in some way, it was inevitable. you two just seemed to match each other so well.

it was routine for both of you to eat meals together, practice together, hang out and go places, and be at each other's dorms.

you both were best friends.

the best of friends.

chaotic ones, at that.

she brightened up your days the same way you did with hers. when you needed a should to cry on, she was always there, and you did the same for her, too.

lily always managed to bring you up on your worst days.

you often didn't think when she was around. it was as if your mind went blank, and all you could think about was her. you didn't care what other people thought as long as you both had fun.

you both did what your hearts desired, regardless of who or what was there.

that explains why you were so chaotic together.

so when you two were announced to be part of the pre-debut lineup and upcoming group of jyp, you both screamed and jumped in happiness.

hearing the news along with the other girls of jypn, you turned to her and screamed, holding her hands in joy.

"OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD, LILY, WE DID IT. WE MADE IT!!" screaming, you started hugging her, jumping.

still in shock, lily gave you the biggest smile she could muster and started screaming and jumping with you, holding your hands tighter.

"OH MY GOD, Y/N, YES, WE DID IT!"

the announcer looked at you both questioningly while the girls could only look away in embarrassment.

"don't mind them, please." haewon smiled at them apologetically.

"o...kay. alright then. that's all for today, thank you. and congratulations. you may celebrate." they said and quickly left.

you and lily were so occupied that it took you a minute before noticing the announcer was gone. you both started giggling and pointing at each other, leaving the others confused. bae couldn't handle your weirdness and called you two out.

"just to let you guys know, you're both freaks." haewon burst out in laughter, clutching her stomach. you poked your tongue out at her, and lily doubled up in laughter.

"it's okay, lily. they're just jealous of our super glue-bonded relationship."

"super glue-bonded?!" lily exclaimed and looked at you with wide eyes, and you laughed heartily, bringing her closer and patting her back.

"you guys are so entertaining." kyujin stared at you both in astonishment.

"okay now, don't even try looking at them." haewon covered kyujin's eyes, turning her away and making her whine.

"why, unnie?!"

"I'm doing this to protect you!"

you scoffed and crossed your arms as you looked at her, fake disgust. "what an asshole, honestly," you said quietly enough, only for lily to hear. you shook your head as your best friend snorted and covered her mouth, trying to hide her laughter.

you grinned widely, proud.

you loved adored seeing her this happy.

"trying to hide her laughter," but ultimately failing.

but you didn't mind. as long as you got to see your best friend like this.

"she... she called you an asshole!"

your jaw fell in surprise.

"LILY—?!"

okay, maybe you did mind.

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nmixx had been around for more than a year now, and you were all playing a folk tale mafia game, trying to find who the nine-tailed fox was.

the goal of this game was actually the least of your worries. you were trying to distract yourself from what close proximity you had with lily.

and you rather eat high-quality food than focus on what's happening (except for the girl you were beside).

everyone started telling their roles, and you lightly smiled when it was lily's turn.

"I'm... a subject.

"what?" you mumbled to her in surprise, your mouth full of food.

"hey, don't eat with your mouth full," she frowned and when you finished chewing, she took a tissue and wiped your mouth, leaning closer to you.

"I— thank you," you said quietly, looking down.

your heart ached. and you didn't know if it was in a good or bad way.

"yah, you're the only one who hasn't said anything about your role yet," haewon said.

"yeah, and she's being super quiet. that isn't normal!" jiwoo pointed at you in accusation.

"hey, what the fuck? I haven't even checked my bowl yet!" you threw your arms out in exasperation.

"language," haewon said and looked at you pointedly.

"sorry." you apologized quickly.

"oh my god, unnie, are you that hungry? your bowl's almost half finished!" jiwoo laughed, smacking jinni on the back, who groaned, and you huffed, pouting in response.

"or maybe the food's just that good," lily countered, crossing her arms and looking at jiwoo.

"oh, aren't you so cute?" lily cooed and squished your cheeks, your pout instantly fading away.

"thank you, lily," you said with a small smile, chuckling and holding her hand on your cheek.

she did nothing but look at you with wide eyes.

after your leader's nagging, you finally relented, moving the rice left in your bowl aside, eyebrows raising at the role given to you.

"I'm... a doctor."

"what?!" the maknae almost screamed in surprise.

"y/n!! you're not supposed to say that!" lily panickedly waved her arms at you.

"oh, huh?" you said dumbfoundedly, and the girls began laughing. you, scratching the back of your neck, decided to join along.

you lied. you weren't a doctor, just a regular citizen.

but, you thought, if you tricked them into killing you, you could watch the game as an observer (not to tell lily answers) and eat as much food as you wanted. the plan was good in your eyes!

adding to that, you were also... decent in acting.

and so, the plan commenced.

the nine-tailed fox was now going to choose who to kill.

everyone closed their eyes, and after waiting, it was revealed...

that you were chosen to be killed.

"I'M A CITIZEN!! GET TRICKED, IDIOTS," you yelled, clapping and laughing at everyone. the staff began laughing, finding it amusing.

the girls could only stare in disbelief as you grabbed your bowl and showed them you were a citizen.

"boo hoo, you killed an innocent!"

you smiled happily and got a spoon, taking food out of the pan.

"y/n... did you really just," lily looked at you expectantly, already knowing what you did.

"shh, lily, they don't need to know." you whispered and winked at her, putting your finger on her lips, her mouth dropping in shock.

she's blushing.

"you know, unnie, if you're killed, you can't eat the food." bae teased, poking your side.

"okay." you shrugged, continuing to eat.

you blinked.

"WAIT, WHAT?!"

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you and the girls were preparing for your "love me like this" comeback, filming different takes for your stage practice.

everything seemed to be in order. you all were singing perfectly and managed to perform flawlessly. it was the same with your dance moves and stage presence.

it only took three hours because haewon wanted you all to ace it.

when everyone decided to rest, you drank water and lay on the floor, eyes closing.

you were exhausted, but you had fun. you often made faces when you weren't seen on camera, making the girls enjoy, too. you sat up, and from where you were, you could see them talking to each other, off in their own worlds.

except for lily.

she sat alone, hugging herself and resting her chin on her knees. you were concerned as you watched her, wondering what was wrong.

lily has been upset since yesterday morning. when you asked her, she didn't explain why and refused to tell you, not looking you in the eye.

even hugging her or holding her hand didn't work, which shocked you.

after your futile attempts, you decided to leave her be, telling her you were there for her whenever she needed you.

you thought you could both hang out and do things together as usual, but you guess she thought otherwise.

cause every time you approached her, she just walked away.

and that puzzled you to no end.

you didn't mind her not telling you what upset her because you wanted her to share it when she was ready. but her not even looking at you and walking in the opposite direction of where you were?

it made you think something went terribly wrong.

you stood up and went to her, an anxious look on your face. you really hoped she wouldn't walk away this time.

but, unfortunately for you, she noticed you walking toward her, and she quickly excused herself to the bathroom, her head down, shadowing her face.

you didn't even get the chance to get a word out.

haewon, who was nearby, looked at her worriedly, gathering her stuff before running out.

you could only look at her walking away, disheartened.

your members also knew something was up. they noticed lily's behavior and tried investigating it themselves but ended up with nothing. being the closest person to her, they had to ask you what was going on.

"I don't know, jinsol, I really don't know. she isn't telling me anything, and I'm just as left in the dark as you are."

bae looked at you in surprise. "oh? you don't know why?"

she recomposed herself, "all right. it's okay, unnie. thank you for helping. we hope lily unnie feels better soon."

you agreed, and after she walked back to jiwoo and kyujin, you slumped in your seat, frowning and sighing, feeling more lost than ever.

her reaction didn't help either.

the last time you couldn't talk to her for this long was when she had to return to her family for an emergency.

you didn't know what to do. you felt weird, and strangely enough, it felt empty without lily.

you didn't want to assume, but it seemed like she was avoiding you.

you weighed out the possibilities, and she might need some space, but she seemed to get along with everyone else just fine.

she even tried helping with the laundry last night but settled for washing the dishes instead.

she even went to haewon's room last night.

wait, she... went to haewon's room last night?

you couldn't linger in your thoughts any longer since someone sat beside you unexpectedly.

"…yoona?"

"y/n, I need to ask you something."

you and yoona were particularly close, so you didn't mind when she didn't use formalities. but because you were always with Lily, you never got to be as close to her as you had hoped.

"sure, yoona, what is it?"

"are you sure that lily unnie hasn't told you anything? like seriously, anything?"

you looked at her curiously. "well, from what I can recall, no. but I told her I would be there for her no matter what."

"hmm, okay. did you know that haewon unnie knows why lily unnie's acting this way?"

"wait, what?"

"mhm. I asked her, but she said it wasn't her place to say. I just wanted to let you know."

your stomach dropped.

"oh… okay. that's alright. thanks, yoona."

she nodded and hugged you, before walking away.

you sat there for god knows how long.

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"unnie!"

when you noticed the youngest leaning over to you, interested in what you were boiling, you turned like a deer caught in headlights. you sighed in relief when you realized the knife wasn't close to your fingers.

"kyu, you almost made me cut my finger."

her smile faded, and she quickly apologized. she started pouting, feeling bad.

"it's okay, baby. nothing happened, see?"

"still, I'm sorry!"

the urge to baby her was powerful. she'd probably whine over it, though.

even if you wanted to, you couldn't. you were chopping vegetables because it was your turn to cook dinner tonight.

whenever you did, kyujin had a habit of watching you because you were the only one in the group who knew how to cook meals, unlike the others who only knew how to cook ramen and eggs.

"what are you making, unnie?" she tilted her head, looking up at you.

you chuckled, "ah, well, I'm making sundubu-jjigae."

"ooh, don't make it too spicy, please!"

"of course! how cute our maknae is~"

you ended up babying her, anyways.

since kyujin didn't know how to cook, like the rest of nmixx, she ended up sitting on the couch and playing games on her phone. you wiped your hands and leaned against the counter, checking the time on your watch. it was past seven pm.

dinner would take about an hour to be ready, so all you had to do was wait. you and the girls wanted to sleep before nine o'clock because you had a performance at music bank the next day.

you looked up when you heard someone clear their throat near you. you felt a pang of fear when you saw that it was lily.

"lily."

you tried to hide your nervousness by leaning even more against the counter. lily appeared to feel the same way as she averted her gaze and fidgeted with her fingers.

kyujin, seeing the situation firsthand, had her jaw dropped as she walked away from the couch, making sure you noticed before hiding in the hallway to listen in on your conversation.

the awkward silence was deafening. you eventually relaxed and stared directly at lily. her eyes were filled with conflict. it's not unusual to see her acting this way cause it's something you've seen a million times.

you were just nervous and scared because you believed she was acting this way because of something you did.

"lily... how are you doing? are you okay?"

you said softly, giving her a welcoming smile. you glanced down and noticed her palms were sweaty from how she was repeatedly wiping her hands on her pajamas.

you raised your brow and looked at her, seeing her biting her bottom lip.

"I— y/n. can I talk to you?"

"we're talking, aren't we?"

"please."

she closed her eyes and took deep breaths in and out, putting her hand on her chest. you showed visible concern. lily was rarely ever this serious. you approached her and gently took her hand in yours.

"lily, what's wrong? I'm here to listen, please."

she stared into your eyes, and you could feel her trembling. she turned her head and covered her face, her other hand still holding yours.

"lily..."

"y/n, you know you're my best friend, right?" you hummed in response. She slowly turned back to you with pink cheeks.

"I tell you almost everything. anything and everything,"

she broke eye contact again, preferring to stare at the fridge rather than look into your eyes, swirling with emotion.

"but that's exactly why I couldn't tell you this."

"I'm sorry for not hanging out or talking to you like we always do. I just needed time to... process how I was feeling."

you nodded, listening to her intently.

"go ahead, lily."

she breathed in once more before letting the truth come out.

"look, y/n, I always thought of you as a best friend and best friend only.

"that is until I rambled to haewon about you, and she thought I had a big big crush on you."

"and that made me feel weird for days."

so that's why she wasn't talking to me?

"...I only started showing it when I saw you hanging out with yoona."

oh.

"wait, what?" 

"let me explain!"

she stepped closer, awkwardly holding your arms in an attempt to be firm.

"you always stayed by my side, and me only. it's weird, y/n. no, not that! I mean, um, how I feel about it." she said and whispered, "and how I feel with the things you do."

you cocked your head like a confused puppy.

"awe shit, I didn't hear that."

"what are you doing?" haewon walked over to kyujin with her eyebrows furrowed, hands on her hips after hearing the maknae curse.

"has y/n really been teaching you how to curse? I'm so! going to scold her—" she said almost too loudly, making kyujin panic.

"quiet, unnie! look."

she peeked her head out of the doorway, eyes widening when she saw you and lily close together.

"okay, y/n, I know this is already a mess, but please hear me out."

"when you hold or hug me, I feel so— I don't know. like my whole body goes warm. I can never stop it."

"when you grab my hand or do that little thing where you caress it when I'm nervous, I—I feel like I'm gonna explode!"

"when I feel insecure, and you compliment me to make me feel better, I feel like the only girl you see in this world."

"and that terrifies me, y/n. because you're... my best friend. I shouldn't be feeling this way for you."

"but I can't help it. I really can't help it."

"especially when I saw you and yoona being so close together."

"I didn't take lily unnie to be the jealous type," bae said.

"when did you get here?!" haewon exclaimed, startled.

"it made my entire being feel like I was being soaked underwater, and I couldn't breathe. if, if that even makes sense..."

"it does, don't worry." you reassured her.

"but it also felt like it was... burning? Like I was burning."

"when I talked to haewon about you, I felt so conflicted. I thought, why would I ever have a crush on you? you're y/n."

ouch.

"but then, I realized you're also the y/n who's been there for me through thick and thin. the y/n who makes me smile effortlessly and wipes my tears away whenever I'm being extra emotional on a difficult day."

"the one who never judges me and has stuck by my side even though I'm probably annoying to you."

"you're the y/n who fits me perfectly, and no matter what happens, every memory I have with you has been sweet, heartwarming, and happy."

"looking back at the past and what we've been through together over the years has changed the way I look at you, and it makes me feel... I'm not sure how to describe it."

she pondered in thought, and her expression lit up.

"hey, remember when the netizens bashed me for being too honest on a live and how I should just keep my mouth shut?"

"you were so angry when the management team couldn't do anything about it that you wanted to personally go to the jyp building and confront them there."

"ugh, yes, I remember that," you groaned and covered your face with your hands in embarrassment while she chuckled and grabbed them away.

"I don't think anyone would have stopped you if haewon didn't drag you to your room." she whispered and teased, staring at you in amusement as you nodded her off, grumbling about the incident.

"I was even willing to riot online... bastards." you mumbled.

"what was that?"

"it's nothing!"

she giggled at your words, "oh, you're so silly."

"y/n, you made me realize you're not just my best friend. you're something else to me, something so much more, and something friends shouldn't ever feel for each other."

"and I resented myself for quite a while. until I realized it wasn't wrong, I was only scared of ruining our friendship."

"so, that's why I'm here to declare it. I'm going to say it, y/n. are you ready? tell me you're ready." her voice echoed throughout the kitchen and living room, and you laughed at her antics.

"lily..." you shook your head, heart beating faster. you gestured to her in encouragement. "I'm ready."

she held your hands and smiled at you wholeheartedly.

"I like you, y/n. I like you so much."

"oh my god!! she did it!"

"she actually said it?!"

"lily... I."

she leaned forward, eyes sparkling with hope.

"you...?"

"I—..."

"I..."

"..."

"...?"

"hey, wait, you're doing this on purpose!!"

when she saw you laughing again, her expression fell, making her pout and whine, looking at you disgruntled.

"I'm being serious here! do you like me, or do you not—"

you cut her off, "god, you're so cute,"

she blushed, her eyes widening, and her face fired up to different shades of red, quite flustered.

you moved closer, your gaze locked on hers. you placed your hands on lily's waist, causing her to freeze, unsure of what to do.

you smiled and grabbed her hands, putting them on your shoulders.

"there we go."

she stared up at you, looking at you with trustful eyes.

"lily, may I kiss you?"

"I—..." she stared at you in surprise. "yes. you may kiss me, y/n."

you tilted your head, glancing at her lips to her eyes. she tried shying away, but you laughed and stopped teasing, softly kissing her lips.

it was innocent and sweet. you could sense lily's nerves as she stood stiffly. you eased her by moving your mouth against hers.

she melted into the kiss, her hands clasped around your neck. you pulled her closer than before, your hands now grasping her lower back, and you completely surrendered yourself to her, the woman who had you from the start, lily.

you caressed her sides, making her squirm and squeal. you chuckled as you broke away from the kiss, seeing her amazed and stunned, standing there dumbfounded.

"oh, my god."

you both took deep breaths, your foreheads touching. lily took your breath away in many ways. she was so hypnotizing. everything about her managed to lure you in.

"y/n... that was... so... wow."

"wow. wow, indeed."

every. single. time.

whether it was this kiss, a sleepover in her room, or another run to the convenience store in the middle of the night,

she always drew you in. always.

she giggled, staring at you adoringly.

"y/n... does that mean we're dating now? am I your girlfriend?"

you blinked and stared at her dumbly.

"lily... yes, you are my girlfriend."

if you could do a replay in real-time, you'd want it to replay this moment over and over.

the way she crashed into your body, hugging you tightly and squeezing you with all her might.

"thank you, y/n." she whispered into your neck.

the way your members cheered and ran out of the hallway, not caring to hide anymore.

the way you felt when you held her.

"of course, lily." I might even love you.

the way you felt, at that moment, when your long-time best friend and the love of your life loved you the same.

your heart ached.

and, in between the lines, you knew it was in a good way.

"...y/n, am I a good kisser?"

"oh, come on, lily."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

bonus!

"Hey, so you and Lily unnie, huh?"

you stared at your phone in shock, not expecting a notification from jinni late at night.

"yunjin? how are you? how did you know,"

she typed her message, and when she sent it, you scoffed in disbelief. but not so much in surprise.

"Yoona." "I expected it, honestly. I could see you two get together from a mile away!"

"she's still updating you a lot, I see?"

"Who else would be doing it? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

you chuckled, typing a response back.

"i hope you two last long."

"You too, unnie."

"I miss you. tell her I miss her, too."

she added, "I guess Lily unnie as well..."

"don't let her see that." you laughed, already missing your former member.

"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

"See you whenever I see you, unnie. I love you."

"i love you too."

see you, jinni.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ending notes — I have roller coaster on repeat (also idk if that bashing thing actually happened I just made it up) I lowkey feel like I trashed this, PLS tell me what you think

[lveclouds]

↬ pairing/characters: joshua x film major reader, other members may make appearances/be mentioned 

↬ genre/aus: heavy fluff, slight angst (finally i know), slight college/university au, established relationship, song au, hurt/comfort 

↬ summary: in which joshua just wants his significant other to just be with him, cut off from the world.

↬ rating(s): pg15, nc17 (see warnings) 

↬ tw: heavy swearing, slight angst (listen y’all know i can’t not write a bit of angst slkjfjdjf), kinda cheesy and very fluffy, you’ve been warned <3 joshua is an absolute sweetheart wbk, brief mentions of stress (being a uni student is a constant struggle), reader is a bit of a workaholic

↬ wc: 2.9k

↬ note: hello loves! the title of this fic comes from the song ‘disconnected’ by 5sos, which is honestly one of my favorite songs from them (esp after seeing it live in concert recently) even to this day. it’s just so cute and evokes all the emotions in me okay :(( anyways this fic was another spur of the moment idea (are y’all even surprised at this point lmao) and i decided to write for joshua, as i haven’t written anything for him yet (i do have another joshua fic in my drafts rn hehe) also yes this fic will be cheesy, you have been warned <3

joshua eyed the macbook balanced on your lap with utter disdain, wishing he could pry the device from your hands, make you focus on him instead, but he knew his efforts would only be in vain. you had come home from a long day of classes, ranting incessantly about how cruel your professors were for assigning a shit ton of work over the course of three days no less, and he had listened attentively to every word, despite the exhaustation from comeback preparations weighing down on him. 

you had given him a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing into his room to take a quick shower, and had come out fifteen minutes later dressed in loose, black sweatpants and one of his shirts, the latter practically a dress on your small form. 

joshua’s heart had squeezed at the sight, for seeing you in his clothes was something he’d never get used to, even after three years of dating. that fluttering feeling quickly dissipated when you plopped down next to him on the living room couch with your macbook in hand. 

“you have homework?” he had asked, trying to keeping his voice as casual as possible, and you’d simply let out a noncommittal grunt in response. “my introduction to film studies professor wants a five page analysis on the great gatsby, and it’s due on friday, which means i only have a few days to finish it.” 

joshua had bit back a retort, refraining himself from reminding you that it was only monday, for heavens sake, but decided against it. “how long is it going to take you?” your expression had gone soft, and you’d leaned over to press a soft kiss on his cheek. “two or three hours, give or take, i’ll try and finish this paper soon, and then i’m all yours, okay? just give me two or three hours.”

and because joshua knew he couldn’t deny you anything, he’d conceded. so, here he was, trying his absolute hardest to focus on a movie that didn’t really interest him in the first place, silently counting down the hours in his head. 

five minutes had turned into ten, ten into fifteen, fifteen into twenty, and so on. time trickled on slowly, and joshua had become utterly convinced that watching paint dry was more entertaining than the movie currently playing on the tv. 

he wasn’t even sure what it was about, and nothing about piqued his interest, for all he could think about was you, wearing his t-shirt and balancing that fucking macbook on your lap, eyes practically glued to the screen. 

joshua hadn’t really thought of himself as a clingy person, in fact, even the other members thought so, with hoshi pointing out how, ever since he’d started dating you, he’d practically run out of the rehearsal room once the choreographer deemed practice over, eager to get home to you. 

you had taken up permanent residence in the dorms, and the members even had one of their managers make a key for you so that you could head straight there in between or after classes to rest. joshua was surprised that management had been okay with it, among all things. 

he and the rest of the members had been extremely busy with comeback preparations, and the past few weeks had a whirlwind of activity, with arduous dance practices, album photoshoots, recording sessions in woozi’s personal studio, and so on. 

the group finally had a few days off from comeback preparations, and joshua was determined to spend all of them with you, watching those cheesy romance films you loved and maybe spending all day in bed. alas, none of that had actually come true, for you were extremely busy with school, constantly working on assignments or projects, and joshua had spent most nights sleeping alone. 

your side of the bed was constantly empty, and joshua knew you were staying up at ungodly hours at night, curled up on the couch, working on another assignment that probably wasn’t due for another few weeks. he wished he could pull you away from work, even for a second, but knowing your stubborn nature, it would take a lot for you to take a break. 

joshua tried not to pout like a child who’d just been told they couldn’t have ice cream for breakfast. he was a twenty seven year old man, for fucks sake, and pouting because his girlfriend wouldn’t pay attention to him was not good for his character, and if the members found out, they’d tease him relentlessly for weeks. 

“are you almost done?” he found himself saying, mentally patting himself on the back for keeping his voice neutral as possible, “sort of, i finished the introduction and maybe, erm, half of the analysis? i’ve written..two pages so far.” you mumbled, and joshua felt his heart sink into his chest. 

“oh.” was all he managed to say, and went back to pretending to watch his movie, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. a long stretch of silence settled between them, and joshua wracked his mind for something to say, anything to break the awkward atmosphere. 

another long beat of silence, and then, “are you mad at me?” your voice was impossibly soft, and joshua knew you well enough to note the nervousness laced within your tone. at that, his head whipped towards you, heart aching at the unsure, almost fearful look on your face, tension lining your shoulders.

“no, love, of course not, you’ve done nothing wrong.” he reassured, and nearly sighed in relief when the tension in your shoulders loosened, ever so slightly. “then why did you sound so… upset earlier?” “i did?” you nodded, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 

“y-yeah, a bit, i don’t think you realized though.” “i’m not upset, darling, just a bit… sad, i guess.” “sad? why? did something happen while you and the guys were preparing for the comeback?” you asked, concern furrowing your brow, and joshua felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. 

“no, nothing happened, don’t worry, the guys are fine, just resting from the crazy schedule we’ve had these last few weeks.” “oh, thank god, i thought something happened. then, why are you sad?” joshua hesitated, wondering if you would laugh in his face for admitting that he had felt lonely these past few days because you’d been so focused on work and not him. 

stop overthinking everything, you idiot, this is y/n. she’s not going to laugh at you or think you’re pathetic. well, here goes nothing. “this is going to sound pathetic of me, but you’ve been so focused on work these past few days and.. i don’t know, this is the longest break i’ve had during comeback preparations that management has given us in a long time, and i guess i thought we could spend them together. but you were so determined to get your work done, and i didn’t want to bother you.” 

joshua tried to keep his voice as cheerful as possible, but the small crack in his voice at the end betrayed him, and he felt color rise to his cheeks in embarrassment. to his relief, you didn’t laugh in his face or call him pathetic. 

instead, you were looking at him with guilt written all over your face, dark eyes glinting with unshed tears, and joshua felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. “why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, and you sounded so hurt, so devastated, that he immediately wished he could take his words from earlier back. 

“i didn’t want to bother you”, he replied softly, voice ever so gentle, as if he were afraid of scaring you off. “you’re never a bother! i’m the one who shouldn’t be bothering you. you’re an idol for fucks sake, you’re constantly rehearsing and preparing to put out an album and perform on stage for thousands and thousands of people, and i’m just a struggling university student who’s constantly complaining about something trivial like shitty professors-” joshua cut you off by pressing a soft kiss to your mouth. 

“i could say the same about you, you’re never a bother to me either. and yes, i do prepare to perform for tons of people, and while it’s a lot different from being a student, you shouldn’t think of yourself that way, it breaks my heart. never think just because you’re a university student, it doesn’t make your worries or stress any less significant or important. and shitty professors isn’t a trivial matter. they can either make or break your overall experience, and i’m sorry that they’ve been throwing all these things at you. but i know you. you can get through it, and if you ever need me, i’ll be here.” 

you were a sobbing mess at this point, and joshua gently pried the laptop from your hands and set it on the coffee table. “now come here.” he whispered, opening his arms ever so slightly, and you threw yourself into them, body wracking with uncontrollable sobs, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder. 

joshua held you flush against him, wrapping his arms around your body and rubbing comforting circles on your back, murmuring reassuring words under his breath. your soft sobs filled the room, and he swore he felt his heart cleave in two at how utterly shattered you sounded. 

after your tears had subsided, joshua pulled back enough to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “i know this is a long shot, but would you be willing to spend the rest of the night with me? that is, no movies, no music, and definitely no five page papers. you can work all you want tomorrow, but i think maybe taking a break will benefit you.” 

your shoulders slumped in defeat, and joshua couldn’t help but smile fondly at the exasperated huff you let out as you gazed longingly at your macbook. “fine, but only because i can’t say no to you.” you murmured begrudgingly. joshua let out a soft, amused chuckle, leaning down to press a soft kiss atop your head. “likewise.” 

“do you mind if i put your laptop in my room? just so that you’re not distracted by it?” you shook your head. “go ahead, i don’t really want to write that fucking paper right now. my brain is fried.” joshua chuckled, reaching out and ruffling your hair affectionately. “ok, i’ll be back.” 

he took the laptop off the table and headed towards his room, humming softly to himself. when he opened the door, jeonghan was sprawled out on his bed, scrolling idly through his phone. he looked up when joshua entered. “i thought you were spending time with y/n. having a lover’s quarrel?” jeonghan asked, the corners of his mouth curving into a mischievous smile, and joshua rolled his eyes, used to the former’s cheekiness. 

“very funny. no, we are not having a lover’s quarrel.” jeonghan sighed, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “shame, i thought something interesting was finally happening around here.” joshua snorted. “yeah, like the one time you and dokyeom went live at the same time and you practically begged carats to watch you instead of him?” 

jeonghan gave an elegant shrug, unfazed. “it’s not my fault i’m so lovable.” joshua fought the urge to throw a pillow at his friend’s head. “whatever helps you sleep at night.” he grumbled, placing your laptop on his bed before promptly exiting the room, shutting the door gently behind him. 

joshua found you right where he left you, curled up on the couch, except now, you were hugging a pillow to your chest, seemingly lost in thought. the sight made his heart ache and warm all the same. he gently kissed the top of your head as he plopped down unceremoniously next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

“penny for your thoughts?” he teased, which earned him a half-hearted glare. “what are you so lost in thought about, love?” he saw your cheeks heat at the way the endearment slipped easily off his tongue due to years of use, and fought the urge to coo at the sight. 

“nothing, just thinking about how i could’ve spent time you with you these past few days, you know, instead of brushing you off and doing work instead.” 

joshua shushed you, pulling you closer into his side. “it’s okay, i also was a little embarrassed. i mean, i didn’t want to come off as clingy.” that earned him a soft smack on the chest. “you are not clingy.” “tell that to hoshi, he thinks i’m utterly besotted, his words, not mine.” 

you glanced up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes. “well, you are, aren’t you?” joshua rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, love.” you scrunched your nose at joshua in mock disgust, and he let out a soft chortle of amusement. 

a comfortable silence settled in the air, and you let out a soft sigh of contentment, resting your head on joshua’s shoulder, and he smiled, carding a hand gently through your hair, the strands like silk against his skin. joshua adored moments like these, when it was just you and him, and he could temporarily forget about any and all his worries. 

and even if the others teased him for being so besotted, then so be it. after all, joshua was used to their teasing, had been for eight years and counting. you were the first to break the silence, clearing your throat awkwardly. “not to sound like a broken record, but i really do feel guilty for completely ignoring you these past few days. if i had known you had-” 

“love,” joshua began, cutting you off gently but firmly, “like i said before, you have nothing to apologize for. your work was important, and i would’ve distracted you.” you let out a small sigh, small shoulders slumping in defeat. “still, you could’ve at least tried to take my laptop away. or something,”

joshua rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “i love you, but we both know that you would likely hiss at me if i did.” color rose to your cheeks. “n-not true.” “sure, love.” you wrinkled your nose at him in mock disgust, and joshua couldn’t help but press a gentle kiss atop your head. 

you mumbled something incoherent under your breath, but said nothing further, instead settling back into joshua’s embrace, and he allowed himself a small smile as you let your eyes flutter shut, letting out a small yawn. “tired?” he whispered, carding his hands through your soft hair, and you managed a small nod. 

“sleep, then, love. i’ll be here when you wake up.” at that ,color rose to your cheeks, and joshua bit back an amused laugh, knowing you were likely to scold him for it, and leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch, relishing in the comfortable silence that settled around the room. 

it was moments like these that joshua treasured the most, when there was nothing but you and him, just enjoying each other’s company. with you, he could let all his worries melt away, forget about concerts and comebacks, and just be himself. 

and, as much as you and him loved spending time with the other members, it was often loud and chaotic, and joshua needed the peace and quiet every now and then. he let out a content sigh, and felt exhaustation take over, and soon, his eyes fluttered shut and he entered dreamland, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

a/n: no bc wtf was that ending oh my god anyways this was my first shua fic, and i hope you all liked this regardless of how terrible it is lmao also i started school again :’) if you have also started school, i hope it’s going well <3 ! (i cannot believe i’m a junior in college now wtf) also i turn 21 in like a week so there’s that lsdkfjldjf and since school is starting again, i might not have a ton of time to post fics:(( but i will still try to <3 also seungkwan is back:(( i saw the pics and videos from the concert in japan and my heart is happy:(( also scoups was there :((( i hope he recovers soon and quickly <3 wishing him all the best <3333

tagging: @hong-jisoo , @drmflm, @playmetheclassics, and anyone else who wants to read this <333