#and of COURSE THIS IS WHY COACH IS MY FAVORITE AND TIM IS YOURS

[itspileofgoodthings]

talk to me about Coach and Tim pls. what are their commonalities. tell the people

WHAT A QUESTION AND A THING TO CONSIDER

I feel like we've been talking about this for a week now and I've said most of this over chat at this point bUT.

I really think the most essential commonality is the thing embodied by Tom from Big Little Lies that we talked about so much during the visit. And that is the quality (so powerful in men) of staying in their own lane but somehow still being able to be aware of and responsive to people outside of the lane and being a source of stability and comfort and help for them when possible. Coach and Tim almost more than anyone else on the show are just DOING THEIR OWN THING in a very center way (in a way that Smash or Matt aren't for example, which is not really a criticism so much as a fact, we all have different functions) but that doesn't mean they're cut off from the rest of humanity!! They help the MOST by staying in their own lane. And obviously Tim is a lot more damaged and dysfunctional than Coach and so he makes some really big mistakes but fundamentally there is the same kind of security and respect that make them such essential people for the community in which they both live.

Coach has the dryness (and also the functionality and the temperament) to not be someone who empties himself out for other people. Helping people, directing them, pulling them back from the edge of stupidity IS very much part of his ethos, you could call it a central function of his mission, but it still comes out of the fact that he's so focused on HIS life, that he has this grounding and precious and personal life that is his actual center. He is never running around helping people because he's trying to fill a hole inside of him. In fact, people come TO him. People are always showing up at his door to ask him for help or guidance etc. Him having to get out of bed where he is comfortably talking to Tami to answer the door is such a great microcosm of the way he lives his life.

Tim's way of doing this looks different (he shows up at people's doors not the other way around!) but the impulse is the same. He isn't nearly as functional as Coach and doesn't have the same supports but there's the same willingness to help people that doesn't just come from his own wounds. And yes, Tim IS hurt and he has self-esteem issues for sure but his charity and his kindness and the way he uses people's names and really sees them -- whether that's telling Lyla to go to her cheer competition or yelling at JV players who can't get it together, as I say: actually a way of loving kids that age, or going to Landry's concert-- doesn't come from the way he's hurt. It comes from something very deep inside of him, the certainty of knowing that this is how he wants to live his life even when he's also a drunken, broken mess. Despite his issues, he doesn't have the kind of insecurity that leads to selfishness and that is inherently tied up with pride. He and Coach are the same way that way. They're both so beautifully centered and loving and secure and they care about helping people.

As for their differences. I really think it's about them being parallels and inverses and reflections of the other with everything I said above being the core similarity.

Coach can get angry and Tim kind of can't. Or never does. Some of that is his conviction that he is always the wrong one, the dumb one --as you always say, there is a worshipful quality to the way he treats some people (esp. Jason and Lyla) whereas Coach doesn't really have that quality at all even when he has his heart in his eyes--but mostly. Tim IS the soft one and Coach isn't. They're both funny but Coach has so much snap and crackle and bite whereas Tim is dry and mellow. They're both incredibly emotionally intelligent and sensitive, especially in the way they rESPOND to people, but Coach has the resources and education and support to put it into words and do it in a healthy way and Tim doesn't always which is why it comes out in strange or funny or surprising ways.

And all of this is why their relationship is so compelling and interesting because their similarities and their circumstances almost prevent a relationship from being possible. Almost. They do have one but it pushes both of them past the relational paradigms they're used to. Tim has nothing to GIVE Coach because he's not a broken or needy man so Tim doesn't have anywhere to put all his big, silent generosity (except on the field!!! that's why he'll play for Coach with a hurt shoulder and be so amazing) and Coach who can give so MUCH can't give it to Tim because he won't ask for anything. That's really beautiful because Coach helps Tim (when he can) the way that Tim helps everyone!!! By seeking him out intentionally. Coach sees him and sees his struggles and knows that he can't help him the way he can help most boys: yell at them, tell them the cold hard truth, challenge them to be better, but he can help sometimes by making the first move. Telling Tim that the accident wasn't his fault is such a beautiful example of this! But it isn’t usually a constant thing, it’s only as the opportunities present themselves. In a core way Coach can't be what Tim needs and he knows that. And he respects the way Tim stays in his lane (from one lane-dwelling man to another!) and knows he can't force a confidence or force Tim to accept his help.

So yeah. Coach is just always watching him and taking care of him from afar, with a watchful kind of love, and Tim is watching him and learning from him too even though he knows Coach can't be a central, central figure in his life for the reasons stated above. They’re very aware of each other, even as their lives are like two powerful rivers moving in the same direction but too much their own entity to mingle. Which is why their moments are very precious.

and yeah. iT'S A LOT FOR ME (AND US) TO HANDLE.

[riddlegecko]

Hmm...

I think it would be interesting to flesh out Emma going to visit Jane (and see Tim, maybe for the first time if we’re staying in canon here) and learning that she’s gone. Maybe not terribly fluffy though, but fun dynamics with Tim and it could explain how she ended up staying with Tom and Tim for the borrowers AU?

In terms of fluff, sorry my brain doesn’t like fluff without some tinge of sadness, for HOHF, Emma and Paul fight [villain of your choice] and someone gets hurt and the aftermath of that. Alternatively, I’d love to know if Tim has the Nitro Gene and if so, if he joins his Aunt Emma and Uncle Paul in the field. That could be so cute! (Although, he could also join mission control or maybe make friends with another super if Hannah has powers as well? But that’s not Paulkins...) If you feel like picking up a family fluff piece, which is personally my favorite genre, lol, I’d love to see Paul and Emma as parents and if their child shows their powers early (since it’s not nitro gene specific from Paul, if it can be inherited, of course, and now I’m imaging Jack Jack from the incredible, lol) or for Harriet and Tex to come back and see their baby (oh that would be adorable because grandparent plants and you can imagine how proud they would be of Emma!) or to see how Slacky interacted with the baby. (I’m imagining a how a Golden Retriever interacts with babies now... 😂) Or, if you’d prefer to ignore children all together, Emma going back home and taking Paul to meet Harriet and Tex (meet the parents essentially). Well, I’m not sure if any of those ideas seem interesting, but if not, I hope they’re able to help get some fun ideas flowing. Have a lovely weekend! 😊

Okay, so... A lot of these are stuff that I want to explore in longer stories eventually, both the Borrowers AND the HoHF prompts. But you DID give me an idea for some HoHF family fluff between Emma and Tim!

"Here's that big project I was telling you about!"

Emma had been back in Hatchetfield for what, six, seven months now? And she'd long since made a name for herself as Wild Flower. She was respected, loved even, by the town that had once cast her aside. And what's more, she'd managed to connect with her nephew, who seemed to think she was cool despite her absence for most of his life! If it wasn't for the fact that Tim didn't know she was Wild Flower yet, she would've chalked it up to that.

After all, Tim loved superheroes. Understandable, considering his mother was one of the most revered supers in the country before she died. Being raised by someone like that was bound to give someone a deep respect for the career. And right now, Tim was showing Emma his most recent token of appreciation. A social studies project he'd done for school about superheroes around the world.

It was a large cardboard diagram, with a map of the world taped to it. Coming from a line pointing to each continent (barring Antarctica, because duh), was a photograph of a super that was native to said continent, accompanied by a short paragraph with information about them.

"Wooooow, you really know your supers, bud!" Emma mused as she scanned over the diagram, impressed.

Tim looked up at her with a bashful smile. "Thanks," he said, blushing. "Wanna hear more about each one?"

"Educate me!"

"Okay, so," Tim began excitedly, pointing to the super whose picture corresponded to Australia. A woman with long, blonde hair and a bright blue superhero getup. "That right there is Tidal Crash, she's an Australian super with the power to control water."

"Can she talk to sea creatures?" Emma asked, encouraging her nephew to continue.

"Yeah, telepathically," Tim replied. "She's like the cool version of Aquaman."

Emma snickered at Tim's snark. God, he was such a Perkins. He continued on, pointing to the picture next to Africa. A dark-skinned man with long dreadlocks and an award-winning smile, half his face covered by a deep purple mask.

"That's Radi ya Umeme," Tim continued to explain. "He's from Kenya, and his name is Swahili for 'Lightning Strike'. He can control the weather, but he's really good with lightning, hence the name. He's kinda like Madbolt in a way, only y'know, not evil."

Emma chuckled, remembering her most recent encounter with that old nutjob. Madbolt was a fascinating case, he'd been causing trouble for Hatchetfield since around the time Emma was born. Not even Jane had managed to land him behind bars. Tim continued, his finger landing on the South American picture. A man with dark, curly hair and deep brown eyes, clad in a black leather costume.

"That guy is Espalda con Púas, his name is Spanish for 'Spiked Back'," Tim said, talking as though he was still presenting the project to his teacher and classmates. "He's from Chile, and as his name would imply, he can grow spikes out of his back and sharpen his teeth and nails into fangs and claws!"

Emma nodded, urging him to continue. With an excited smile, Tim moved on to Asia, where a picture of a short-haired woman with a shining mask lay.

"That's Dá Quy, she's from South Vietnam," he continued. "Her name means 'Gemstone', and she can control different ores and minerals and stuff."

Tim moved on to Europe, where a picture of a woman with short brown hair and an elegant, but still practical costume lay.

"That's Lady Nighthawk, she's from England," he explained as Emma continued to listen intently. "She can talk to animals and harness their abilities to fight. She visits Hatchetfield once a year, too!"

"Right! I think I remember your mother telling me about meeting a 'Lady Nighthawk' before!" Emma exclaimed in recollection.

"Yeah, mom worked with a lot of supers," Tim mused fondly before moving on to the final picture, the one corresponding to North America. A grizzled man with long dirty-blonde hair and a decked-out suit. "And finally, there's Eagle Eye! He's an ex-military general who can shapeshift into a bald eagle! And he's got this awesome combat suit that he uses in human form! He's from Washington D.C., but just like Lady Nighthawk, he visits Hatchetfield sometimes!"

Emma smiled at the sight of the super who'd been acting as a mentor to her for the past week. During a rescue mission she'd nearly bungled, Eagle Eye- or John MacNamara as she'd learned his real name was, swooped in to lend a hand. He'd taken a shine to her, and offered to help coach her in the ways of being a superhero. Emma had been learning lots of valuable information off of John. But of course, there was no way Emma could tell Tim about-

"Speaking of, did you hear that he's been working with Wild Flower lately?"

Okay, nevermind! Emma froze, surprised by her nephew's casual mention of her alias. Was this a good time to tell him? Better test the waters to be sure...

"Oh yeah, Wild Flower!" she exclaimed, trying to play it cool. "I've, uh... been hearing lots about her lately!"

"Yeah, it's so weird!" Tim chuckled. "It's like she just came out of nowhere!"

Emma nervously drummed her fingers on the headboard of Tim's bed, where they'd been sitting for the past couple of minutes. Did he mean that in a good way or a bad way?

"She's awesome, though!" Tim continued, an excited sparkle in his eyes. Emma's heart began to race. "Her powers are so cool! I mean, she can summon that big flytrap thing! What was it's name again?"

"Slack-Jaw?" Emma replied, a barely-contained smile on her face.

"Right, Slack-Jaw!" Tim recalled. "And did you see her new costume? The green jacket with the cool logo on it?"

"Mhm!" Emma hummed in response, happily recalling the day she was presented that jacket at Town Hall. The mayor had recognized her feats of heroism, and had the jacket tailor-made for her to replace that ratty old, ill-fitting red leather jacket she'd bought from a Goodwill in a scrambled effort to make a good costume. It still needed some tweaks now, but the new jacket was an excellent start.

"And now that she's getting lessons from Eagle Eye, she's only gonna get better!" Tim gushed. "She's just so- Aunt Emma? What're you smiling so hard for?"

God, Emma couldn't keep this secret any longer. She had to tell him.

"I have a question for you, bud," she began, resisting the urge to just tell him outright. "Did your mom ever say anything about both her and me having the Nitro Gene?"

Tim's eyebrows shot up. "Oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "But she said that you didn't like talking about your powers, so she never told me what they were. I figured you still wouldn't wanna talk about them, so I never asked."

Emma's heart fluttered. What had she done to deserve such a considerate nephew? "You wanna take a guess?"

"O-okay, but why n-" Tim cut himself off, the gears clearly turning in his head. After a few moments, he turned to Emma with a look of awed realization on his face. "W-wait, Aunt Emma... Are you saying that you're...?"

"Wild Flower?" Emma finished, eyeing him cheekily. "You bet!"

A smile slowly blossomed onto Tim's face. "No way!" he exclaimed. "B-but mom always said you didn't wanna be a superhero!"

"Well, people change their minds sometimes!" Emma retorted. "And I decided to finally put my powers to good use once I came back home."

"Wow..." Tim gaped breathlessly.

"But I'm still your Aunt Emma, first and foremost!" Emma quickly clarified. "I'm still the same person, just y'know... with plant powers."

"O-of course!" Tim stammered, his mind looking certifiably blown. His face grew serious. "And don't worry, I won't tell anybody about your secret identity!"

Emma snickered, tousling her nephew's hair. "I appreciate it, bud," she said, pulling him into a hug. "...Want me to introduce you to Slack-Jaw?"

"...Maybe."

[ranger-jedi-knight]

A New Hero Chap 23

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887313/chapters/64491796 Taglist: @bluesimani

Ok, so here’s the next chap!! So I’m going to skip the date scene cause I’d just butcher it but it did happen and it DID go well. I hope you guys enjoy it!! Also, check out my Tumblr for an announcement! Tumblr: ranger-gothamite 

Lana couldn’t help but softly smile with a laugh at seeing Xan’s face as they walked throu Gotham. He had the happiest face ever from how well his date went with Lila on Saturday. Even days later, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Lila was with them along with Mari, Damian, Kim, and Bee. Haya was busy doing commissions and her Lila, L, had a date but she wouldn’t tell them the name yet since she wanted to see how it went first. Two couples held hands as they walked. Nino and Chloe were doing some last minute stuff and would meet them up after.

“So, Lana,” Bee starts looking at her friend curiously and Lana tilts her head toward her friend. The others are looking at them as well, wondering what Bee was going to ask. “Have you thought about getting a coach?”

“Coach? For what?”

“For your ice skating! You’re really good at it,” Bee said, smiling encouragingly at her friend and Lana grew flustered at that as everyone nodded agreement.

“W-well. I don’t know. I’m not that good. It’s been years since I did a competition. I doubt any coach would want me,” Lana said waving a hand and Bee scowled as she took Lana’s hand and squeezed it.

“You are good. Don’t put yourself down. I’m sure lots of coaches would want you,” Bee said giving Lana a look as the others nodded.

“Ya, Lana! Don’t put yourself down,” Xan replied this time and Lana just gave a one-shoulder shrug.

“I-’ll think about it.” With that they continued walking toward the ice rink since everyone had wanted to do that. Mari shared a smile with Damian and pulled her phone out. Damian let her hand go so that she could message the man that offered to coach her what seems like forever ago. Damian looked at their group as the others talked to themselves while Mari quickly talked to Philippe.

Reaching the ice rink, Lana and Bee sat down to pull on their skates while the others went and rented some skates. Once they were all ready, they went onto the ice and skated around with Kim, Bee, and Lana helping them skate smoothly. “Hey Lana, mind recreating the last routine you did after I...?” he asked and Lana gave Xan a soft look as she nodded agreement.

“Of course. I did dedicate to you,” Lana said, pulling her phone out and pulling up the song. A song Xan was fairly fond of before he was killed and taken. “Play this when I get into position.” Xan nodded and she skated to the center of the rink. She was lucky there weren’t many people out then, and when they saw her they moved to the sides. He pressed play when she got into position, a soft smile grew on his lips when he realized it was ‘My Heart Will Go On’. She glided across the ice, unaware of the camera Mari had trained on her and the crowd.

Xan felt tears stinging his eyes as he watched the dance. Lila squeezed his hand, holding tightly as she wiped away a tear herself, watching as Lana danced with a grief and remembrance of someone she loved. It wasn’t a song dancers typically chose since it had words but she did as a tribute to him. She ended a bit to the side from her start point, her head tilted up looking to the side with her eyes closed, her mouth agape as a hand clutched her shirt above her heart and her other slightly behind her. Her torso turned slightly the way her head was facing, her right leg turned to face in front of her while slightly lifted as if to push her off while her left faced the same way her head was facing, toward Xan.

Xan was the first to class before everyone in the rink started clapping as well. A blush dusted her cheeks as she pushed off to go back to them. Mari was beaming as she slid her phone back into her pocket after sending the video to Philippe. “It was a bit clumsy,” she muttered embarrassed and flustered, You don’t deserve the praise. You’re a fake, a voice that sounded like Steve’s voice whispered into her ear. She hugged herself when she reached them, folding into herself. Bee was at her side immediately, whispering into her ear things that none of them could hear. She nodded occasionally, taking a few deep breaths.

“That was awesome! Mind teaching me some of those moves?” Kim asked, somehow knowing that a distraction is needed for her mind. Lila started nodding as well right as Nino and Chloe arrived on the ice.

“Teach what?” Chloe asked and Kim launched into an explanation of the routine Lana did. Chloe immediately beamed at Lana and nodded eagerly as well. Lana pulled them to the center of the rink to start teaching them, with some of the other people there as well joining in. Xan shared a smile with Mari and Damian at seeing her relax after whatever went throu her head skating back to them after the dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke had a small sideways smile on his lips as he shook his head. “You guys are ridiculous,” he said looking between Jason and Tim while Dick was face planted on the couch exhausted after doing a nightshift at the precinct.

“I resent that. That’s not true,” Jason said with his arms crossed and Duke just gave him a look while Tim snorted. “What!?”

“Nevermind that. Is it true?”

“Oh ya! It’s very true! Damian is dating Marinette! Finally! And, Dick is also dating Alya finally, along with this british FBI agent. They got close it seems while Dick was dating Babs. And don’t ask me about Kon ‘cause I can honestly say I don’t know who he’s seeing. He hasn’t told me and the person is just listed as ‘My Heart’ on his phone with hearts around it. Very cute if I’m being honest,” Tim said with a smile.

“You didn’t hack his phone to see?”

“Hey-!”

“You would! Don’t deny it!” Jason shouted while Dick mumbled his agreement along with a ‘shut up’.

“I’m respecting his privacy. I can do that,” Tim said and the two brothers shared a look before giving Tim a look.

“Couldn’t crack it?” Duke asked and Tim pouted as he looked away.

“He so didn’t. Bab’s probably encrypted Kon’s phone,” Jason replied and Duke nodded.

“So, when do I get to see ‘em?”

“See who?” Dick asked looking up, half asleep.

“You’re boyfriend and girlfriend, Dick. I already know Marinette.”

“Oh, uh…” he trailed off in thought and a yawn left him. “I’ll see,” he mumbled before going back to his nap so that he was ready for patrol that night. The three laughed at that and then Tim turned to Jason with a teasing smile.

“Duke, I don’t think you’ve heard about Jason’s crush,” Tim said in a teasing tone and Jason glared at him. Jason rushed over at Tim who evaded him while Duke looked interested.

“Oh?” he asked, curious since he hadn’t seen Jason crush on anyone in a while.

“Ya! You’ve met or seen Alya before, Dick’s partner at the precinct, she’s come here quite a bit,” Tim started and Duke nodded, he’s certainly seen her in passing, having maybe one or two conversations that lasted minutes because they each had something to do. “Well, she has a younger sister named Lana-” Tim yelped as he ducked under Jason’s arm as it swung at him. But he didn’t need to say any more as Duke was nodding with a smile.

“Ah. I see,” he then grabbed Jason’s wrist as he almost caught Tim’s shirt. Tim scampered behind Duke with a smile and patted his shoulder.

“Yup! Now I have to go! Gotta make sure the board didn’t try screwing over that hotel again!” Tim then ran out of the room and to his car while Jason glared at Duke.

“Not a word.” “Oh, I think the others won’t stop even when you ask her out,” Duke replied with a smirk before heading up to his room to unpack. Jason just groaned and fell onto the couch, Dick somehow being quick enough to keep his legs from being sat on. Once Jason was sitting on the couch defeated, Dick dropped his legs over Jason’s lap. Jason just groaned at that and tried melting into the couch, hoping his embarrassment would leave before someone else came.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

Melody was humming under her breath as she typed on her computer. A request to the sister hotel to see if they could borrow an employee. Looking up when she heard the door, she was surprised to see that it was the CEO Tim Drake-Wayne. “What can I do for you, Mr. Drake-Wayne?” she tilted her head as she asked the question.

“Just came by to make sure the board didn’t try pulling one over me,” he explained with a smile and Melody returned it with a soft laugh.

“Don’t worry. They haven’t. I think you scared them when you told them of what they did wrong,” she replied and Tim nodded with a smile and the phone started ringing and she raised a finger and answered it. As she dealt with the patreon, he looked around the lobby taking note of how it was simple, but nice. Plants were on both sides of the door, along with a couple in the corner by the front desk. A few landscape paintings covered the wall, along with a Gotham skyline showing the vigilantes-his photograph. He took it a while ago and he could tell what each silhouette was- Batman in front, Robin slightly behind with Nightwing and Red Hood behind them, caught up in a race, Spoiler and Signal high fiving as they jumped a gap after the two with Orphan bringing up the rear.

“You know, that’s one of my favorite photos,” Melody said coming up from behind to stand next to Tim. Tim startled at that but smiled softly as he looked over at her then back to the photo.

“Really?”

“Ya, it’d be even better if it had Red Robin in it too,” she replied smiling at him as she gave the photo one last look before going back to the front desk. “If I could, I’d have this photo, including Red Robin in it, in my house.”

“You like Red Robin?”

“Ya, why wouldn’t I?” she tilted her head a bit confused at his question as she started an email to their maintenance man. “Red Robin is awesome, he saved my life some years ago when I first arrived in Gotham. So I was grateful at first but now I look up to him,” she explained with a shrug, curious about his slightly shocked expression. “Ok, I can understand not knowing why since you are a CEO and plenty busy, but believe or not, a lot of people do like Red Robin.” “Ya, just been pretty busy. Only really seen Batman and Robin memorabilia thou. Nightwing and Red Hood I have seen occasionally but not much,” he admitted with a shrug and Melody nodded with a laugh.

“That is true. But I think it’s more on the concept of Batman and Robin being the dynamic duo who’s been around the longest. I mean, they still sell stuff that looks like the original Robin paired with Nightwing since it’s easy to guess that they’re the same since there was no Robin for a few months after Nightwing appeared,” she replied and Tim had to nod, people even suspect Robin #2 and Red Hood being the same which would be fair.

“Ya,” he whispered with a small smile, knowing that people did appreciate his work as Red Robin even if it wasn’t obvious.

“Since you’re looking around, you could get some coffee or something from the machine,” Melody said looking up as she sent the email before pointing to the machine that sat on a counter running along the wall next to the desk.

“Thanks,” he walked over and made himself some hot chocolate. Going back to the desk, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a card and held it to Melody. “Here, in case the board tries anything again.” He then started toward the door and waved to an employee that was walking back to the front desk.

Mari-aculous @MDC_Designs Having fun at the ice rink with everyone! Apparently Lana is popular right now #awesome #iceskating #icedancing #figureskating #learning *Mari beaming at the camera before turning it to show Lana helping bother her friends and some strangers doing some figure skating moves*

Ok, so here’s the next chap! I hope you guys enjoy this fun little thing showing the characters doin random n havin fun. AND DUKE APPEARS!! Sorry if Duke is a bit OOC, I tried. He seems like a cool character, I literally read a couple wiki type things bout him so this is my best guess of how to do him. And, next chap Duke will meet Alya and Xavier and see the others again! Until next time!! -Love Willa<3<3<3 

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#9)

I really really loved 3x10! Like one of my favorite episodes so far, for sure. so here’s another post about just one episode, “The Giving Tree.”

@lockitin I saw your comment saying I’d like this episode like an hour after I watched! You were very right!

-Aw I love Julie and Tyra’s friendship. Julie trying to help Tyra strategize on how to catch up in school after her ill-advised trip with the cowboy — that’s what we love to see!

-this flirtatious girl (later, we learn, MADISON) insisting on pouring milk into a wine glass for JD is up there as one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen happen in a teen drama party scene

“Do you need silence to watch naked women? Is that what you’re saying to me?” The things that come out of Buddy Garrity’s mouth are truly wild.

-oh boy and then Buddy got into a getting-arrested level fight! Wish I could say I was surprised, but...

ANYWAY MATT AND JULIE DO IT NOW yet they’re still so fucking cute it’s wild

-I am truly HERE for Matt and Julie post coital and naked, just laying in his bed after school saying “I love you” while listening to the radio and HOLDING HANDS?? This is so beautiful.

-so of course, here comes Coach Taylor to walk in on them. Honestly this scenario kind of like NEEDED to happen? Inevitably? I mean, “quarterback sleeping with the coach’s daughter,” as Riggins said. (And now it’s finally actually true.) The comedy of Eric just walking right back out the house, stone-faced. Oh I am living.

-Hahahaha Landry’s bandmates exchanging looks while Tyra comes to ask Landry for help with the SATs. This show does such a good job of actually conveying teens being teens in little moments like this.

-oh yes to the Lyla/Julie tooth brushing scene where she confides what happened with her dad walking in on her and Matt!! then transitioning right into Tami brushing her teeth while Eric sits on the side of the bed, pained and disturbed by his teenage daughter’s burgeoning sexuality. Cinematic.

-what I love about this episode is how well crafted the plot is — Eric only catchs Matt and Julie because he had to pick Julie up so Tami could tell Lyla about Buddy’s night in jail. and Eric clearly showed up earlier than Tami would have. After all, they thought they had time for one more song. It’s just...such good writing. Ugh! Yes.

-I love how this development actually left Tami speechless too, when usually she’d be running into Julie’s room with exactly the right words to say

-I really do love how this plot lines up so that Lyla is in the Taylor house to comfort Julie.

“Your punishment is you have to have a conversation with me about it.” Fair, Tami, fair. Bc there should not be a punishment at all for a teenage girl having consensual sex with a boy she loves!

-Did Buddy really just plead not guilty??? Sir you did all of the things they just charged you with!!!!

-Tyra’s mom immediately wanting Landry to change the pilot light when she sees him in the house helping Tyra is....too real. Also reminds me of Lorelai joking about how she liked how Dean would change the water bottle in Gilmore girls

-fuck you buddy!!!! Why would you gamble your daughters college money??? Related: I love how betty cooper had a similar plotline to Lyla garrity here but in the Riverdale version her mom gave the $$ to a cult

“Please tell me the lesson we’ve learned.” “Always lock the door.” “...when having sex with the coach’s daughter.” HAHAHAHA omg this show is so good, having Eric glance at Saracen in the locker room to see his eyes downcast. That’s that shit we like.

-I’m proud of Landry in this episode standing up for himself bc Tyra was totallyyy taking advantage of him. Like she expects him to ditch his bandmates bc she wants to take a break and lengthen their study session which he’s doing as a favor to her??

-oh yes and the Giving Tree metaphor! Amazing. Art.

“That’s exactly what I feel like, just a stump.” Damn. I felt that.

“What about birth control?” “I don’t want to talk about that!” “Hon, that IS the conversation.” Damn right it is! Tami is a good mom.

“Chasin skirts,” Mr. McCoy? You’re gross. Ew and now he’s literally trying to control his son’s love life. Disgusting.

-Julie’s long pause after Tyra asks if Landry is right about how she’s the little boy in the Giving Tree. I cackled.

MATT SARACEN IS TERRIFIED IM DEAD

-I CACKLED at the fear in his eyes when Tami suggest he wait in the back with Coach Taylor

-Lol at coach aggressively cleaning his grill while lecturing Saracen, who is literally one of the most mild mannered and sweet boys you could ever want your daughter to lose her virginity to tbh. Especially if it’s gonna be a football player.

-ugh Lyla I’m sorry your dad is so trash. Riggins is sweet and hot though. “What do you want me to do?” he says when Buddy bangs at the door. He respects her wishes. We stan.

“I was the idiot who stuck with you! Don’t call me spoiled. We’ve been saving that money since I was a baby. You said if I made the grades, it was mine.” GO OFF LYLA this is cathartic to watch. Also LOL I have mad student loans now bc my dad the cheater similarly lied about our financial situation for most of my life so that hit HARD for me. 😭😬🥺 I sent Lyla’s rant to my mom and she said lol did you write those words

-omg Tim at the door being like “you need to go” to Buddy?!?! Oops I’m aroused.

-oh god poor JD is actually listening to his dad and breaking things off with Madison?? Fuck man. That is so not cool. But wait there’s more! Riggins called him on it right away, we love him. “How do you expect all these boys to battle for you if you can’t make a decision like that on your own?” YES Riggins! Now that’s some good team captain mentoring shit! With the ear buds in one ear. Ugh yes.

-I’m surprised we haven’t gotten angry Coach Taylor chasing a ref sooner. “HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT”

-I love how Coach Taylor said “we’re gonna not lose our temper out there” about the refs to the players earlier in the week then ended up getting ejected from the game himself. Classic.

-omg and he’s calling the other coaches on the field on a flip phone, that’s. Mmhmm. Yep. Early 2000s gold.

-but oop now Wade Aikmen is gonna be getting all the attention. Oh boy. This show keeps ya on your toes!!

-JD’s mom wants her 15 year old son to date wayyyy too much and JD’s dad wants to control his love life wayyyy too much. Maybe they should both just chill???

-omg Katie McCoy totally would’ve kept JD’s date with Madison a secret if the dad hasn’t seen it. This is a *sings* deeply unhealthy family dynamic~

-Saracen is so cute being nervous that Landry’s gonna bomb. Friendshipppp

-okay Landry’s band got a decent turnout! Anyway I hope a girl throws her bra at Devin.

-wait really? Landry in a metal band now suddenly has Tyra feeling him? Again I DO NOT UNDERSTAND TYRA AND LANDRY.

-wow Buddy said Lyla was right AND apologized? I’m actually surprised. Can he call MY dad and teach him how to apologize? Kthxbye.

Yeah seriously I think that was my favorite episode so far!

[our-happygirl500-fan]

Steph immediately perked up as soon as she noticed Alfred in the kitchen unloading groceries and containers full of food onto the kitchen counter.

“It’s Alfred day? I knew there was a reason it smelled so lemony fresh in here!”

Tim rolled his eyes barely looking up from his laptop but it was hard to suppress a smile as Steph excitedly skipped over to the kitchen to see what Alfred had brought.

“Alfred you are an angel on earth,” Steph said her eyes widening at the sight of a container of her favorite cookies only to flinch slightly as Alfred batted her hand away from them.

“Alfred please they’re ginger snaps!” Steph begged but Alfred only raised an eyebrow, the fact that the man had helped raise most of them meant he was immune to even Steph’s puppy dog eyes.

“You’ll ruin your dinner Miss Stephanie,” Alfred dismissed ignoring Steph’s pouting.

At that moment Cass walked into the room smiling at the sight of Alfred.

“Alfred,” Cass greeted a calm smile on her face with Alfred returning a slight smile of his own.

“Miss Cassandra,” Alfred greeted while Cass took in everything he brought.

“You didn’t have to Alfred we were going to order Chinese tonight,” Cass said and at that reveal Alfred frowned disapprovingly.

“Honestly you all know how to save the city but none of you know how to prepare a decent meal” Alfred muttered putting some bottles in the fridge.

“Not true Steph knows how she just doesn’t have time to cook” Cass defended.

“Cooking takes a lot of time and energy and I’m already exhausted enough from college and my jobs so I can afford college I’m not adding meal prep onto that,” Steph whined while Tim had to fight off a frown at the reminder of Steph’s loaded schedule, he knew that Steph was probably the most busy out of all of them between her classes, her work and their nightly activities that often had her crashing where ever she was the moment she stopped moving, she had fallen asleep in the cave watching the others train numerous times.

She’d fallen asleep on their most recent date, of course Tim had also fallen asleep on the date so the date had basically just been them taking a nap together in a movie theatre which was admittedly nice but not what they had intended to do.

Tim had offered to pay for Steph’s college tuition… she hadn’t taken the suggestion well. He didn’t understand why she had reacted so badly, he just didn’t want her to stretch herself too thin.

Cass glared at him as if sensing what he was thinking about.

“Are these roast potatoes?” Steph asked excitedly opening up one of the containers slightly only to have her hand batted away by Alfred again.

“Save it for later Miss Stephanie,”

“But I already got a whiff!”

“I don’t think all that food will fit in the fridge Alfred,” Tim interrupted as Alfred took the potatoes to the fridge.

“That’s precisely why you freeze some of them Master Tim,” Alfred replied dismissively and Tim held back a snort.

It had been a while since Tim had felt this at ease… this easy going, he didn’t know whether it was because Cass had moved back to Gotham or Steph moving in with him but for the first time in a long time Tim felt like he was finding peace.

“Ow!” Steph yelped as Alfred batted her hand away from something on the counter for the third time, “What? That’s my yogurt that I bought!”

“It has expired Miss Stephanie,” moving to throw the yogurt into the trash.

“By like a day that doesn’t even count!” Steph protested only to groan at the unimpressed look Alfred sent her.

“Ugh fine,” Steph muttered before walking over and throwing herself on the coach right besides Tim.

---

“You all need to get your shit together!” Steph screamed face reddening slightly with anger “it’s just talking! How do you all mess up so badly with just talking!?”

“I mean part of me expected this from you guys sure, you wouldn’t all be the people I love if you all weren’t so grossly emotionally incompetent but you ruined Alfred day!”

“What’s Alfred day?” Dick asked the only one who seemed to have the courage to speak after an angry Steph, a sight that used to be so common but now felt so rare and even back then the anger was rarely ever directed at them.

“It’s the day of the month where Alfred visits and brings food and does laundry,” Tim answered awkwardly

“Oh my god, you guys ruined Alfred day,” Dick whispered in a hushed slightly horrified tone.

[pikakehimesama]

We Don’t Talk Anymore

So this was supposed to be posted on my birthday, but life got in the way. Oops. Jungkook x You Oneshot (College AU! FWB AU!) 

[Rated M for Adult language and implied sex] 

Jungkook can’t talk to girls, that’s a known fact by everyone. However, you, someone who’s a part of the female species, is the only he can talk to.However one problem, you know the main reason why he cannot talk to girls, and truth be told, you wish he stopped talking to you. written bc I think it’s utter b.s that Jungkook can’t talk to girls LOL 

Word count: 8,000~  Warning: crude language, implied sex. 

“Hey girlie!” Hoseok swings an arm around your neck when he sees you walking in the hallway. You roll your eyes and playfully shove his arm off and turn to face him. Hoseok is standing in front of you with his hands casually on his hip, his dark wash jeans hugging his legs nicely and his white with black sleeve baseball tee framing his toned upper body.

“What do you want?” You sigh and put your two hands on your hips, mimicking his pose.

“So there’s this party this Friday, wanna go? It’s not going to be that wild. Plus, we don’t have school that day.” his playful smile tells you there’s more to this innocent party than what he portrays to you.

“Probably, why? Are the rest of the boys going?” You inquire and Hoseok just responds with a nonchalant shrug.

“I assume so,” he says and starts walking off, with you falling in step with him. Hoseok and you share the same classes so naturally he’s always there to see you first thing in the morning. “Think Jungkook was going too, he was trying work up the courage to talk to that girl. You know the one he always freezes up in front of?”

“In his defense, he freezes when he sees any girl he’s down to fuck.” You sigh as you roll your eyes.

Jungkook, also known as the school, no, city-wide playboy, also known for his capability of not being able to talk to anyone he would like to get with.

“Yeah, you’re right. Honestly, I have no idea how he does it.” Hoseok lets out a laugh knowing you were right.

“Well, I’ll think about going, Hoseok. Just to watch Jungkook fall helplessly to his stuttering, yet still get that girl to fuck him.” You answer, as you both enter class.

Jungkook was one of your best friends, well you were friends with all of the popular kids at your school. It did help you were popular too, captain of the cheer squad. Not that impressive as many would assume your personality was peppy and that typical stereotype of cheerleaders, but nope. You were stone cold, you hated girly stuff, you would rather swig a beer (or vodka 99% of the time) and play video games in someone’s basement than go to a nice brunch.

Jungkook was probably the one you were closest with out of all the popular boys at your school. Hoseok was the second closest to you, mostly for both of your strong capability of taking in alcohol.

Everyone else, you were friends with, but not as close.

The teacher droned on and on, as you watched Hoseok blatantly ignore the teacher, he already knows he can just copy off your notes later.

You were a decently smart student, maintaining mostly A’s, a couple of B’s here and there. Most of your friends just copied off your notes, knowing you had clean notes, and could help them pass, just like what Hoseok was doing.

You know Hoseok was just talking in the group chat, that also included you. He would show you a couple of messages here and there. Some were memes that Jimin or Taehyung would send, some were complaints from Yoongi and Seokjin who were in class telling them to shut the fuck up. But mostly, the ones Hoseok would show you were Jimin and Taehyung making fun of Jungkook and his incapability of talking to girls.

I’M HUNGRY CHAT ROOM

Jimin: so how was your date the other day Kookie?

Taehyung: probably went like, uh uh.. Uh. uh. I can’t talk because i’m a pussy

Jimin: hahaha 😂🤣😂

You: At least he gets more pussy than all of you. The most you get is from Namjoons cat.

Namjoon: shut the fuck up fam.

Namjoon: and leave my cat out of this conversation.

Namjoon: She’s so much better than the rest of you fucking peasants.

Jungkook: Well, if we’re counting Namjoon’s cat, I get twice as much pussy. Also, just got more pussy today.

Namjoon: fucking leave my precious cat alone.

Seokjin: but the cat loves me the most. So I get the most pussy. Also we all know that I got the most pussy out of this chat.

“What the fuck did you start in this chat.” Hoseok is trying so hard to hide his laughter in class. You know even though Hoseok blatantly doesn’t pay attention to the professor and is normally just on his phone or laptop playing a game, you know he has the decency to be quiet in class.

“Well honestly, I thought it would shut them up.” You mutter as you write down the notes, “I thought it would make them speechless, not go off and create more stupid jokes.”

“Well, this honestly a fucking gem from the chat.” Hoseok laughs as he screenshots the conversation, to save later for ammo. Or to create memes, which you know he does in his spare time.

From Jungkook: You’re dead to me.

To Jungkook: sorry, i couldnt hear you over your inability to talk to females. Sorry, i’m too pretty.

From Jungkook: Shut the fuck up you prick.

You roll your eyes, knowing you’re done with pay attention the boys and their conversation so you shut off your phone and continue to pay attention to class.

Jungkook calls after you, swinging an arm around you as you head towards the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat. You roll your eyes and wiggle your way out of his grip.

“What do you want Jungkook.” You look up at him, and his hands are now in his jean pockets. You take a note of his outfit, knowing it's the same outfit he normally wears, white shirt, denim jeans and his tims.

“Well, there’s this girl,” he starts off and you know the next words that are going to come out of his mouth and groan in response.

“I thought you were trying to bang that nerd that’s a chemistry major?” You ask and you see a sly shit-eating grin appear on his face as you both head towards the table where the rest of your friends were sitting.

“Done and done. Missed my last class for it.” His proud tone causes a raised eyebrow from Yoongi and Namjoon.

“Done and done with what?” “Missed class for what?” Yoongi and Namjoon ask simultaneously. This perks Jimin and Taehyung interest as they look up from their food.

“Banged that chem nerd. She was an easy one.” Jungkook said as he sat down, handing you a bill knowing he wants you to buy his food for him. You just stomp on his toes as you turn around to head towards the food in the cafeteria.

Jungkook spills the dirty details to your friends, and you know he just sent you away, to spare you the details of his escapade in the chemistry lab.

You go and buy him and you a sandwich, having used Jungkook’s money to pay for your own food. This is a daily routine between you and Jungkook. He walks in the cafeteria with you, sits down with your friends then gives you money to buy you food. It used to get on your nerve, until you realized you got a free lunch when Jungkook would give you money for the food.

Yeah, he was an ass, but at least you never paid for your food. Honestly, you never paid for anything while you were with him, which was nice.

“Jungkook paying for your meal again?” Seokjin asks from behind you as you stand in line at the register.

“Why else would I buy food for myself.” you joke and Seokjin rolls his eyes in response. Honestly, out of all of them, you would date Seokjin, but his personality clashes with yours, sadly. And maybe you tried it once before and it did not go as planned.

“So, when is Jungkook going to realize you’re in front of him and he doesn’t need to go after all those pathetic idiots?” Seokjin asks and you bit your lips in response.

Seokjin and you, had a history. He’s the reason why you were friends with all of them. You were fuck buddies when you first entered school. You met at a party, and after that, you both just met up to fuck. The sex was amazing, and he knew what he was doing which was the best part and he was good at it. You two tried to do the dating thing, realized it was weird, and that fuck buddies is what it would always be between you two, you ended the relationship. This was also the point when you realized you liked Jungkook.

Seokjin thought it was absolutely hilarious, that you, a cold-hearted girl would like Jungkook, when he obviously did not feel the same about you.

How you realized? You realized he could talk to you so easily, hang out with you to play video games, but with any other girl he liked? He couldn’t even talk to them.

Honestly, it stung a bit.

“Shut up, before I punch your favorite part of your body.” you snarl as you pay for your food and Seokjin pays for his.

“So, the new girl, who’s she?” Jimin asks when you and Seokjin return back to the table. You toss Jungkook’s sandwich at him as you plop down next to him.

“She has a stellar body. Super fit and knows what she’s doing. I always thought about going for her, and she’s so fucking hot.” Jungkook goes on and you feel your heart racing, knowing who it might be. He turns towards you and here comes the moment of truth.

“It’s Eunji. She’s on the cheer squad with ____.” the truth comes out and your heart shatters.

Of course it would be Eunji.

It’s always fucking Eunji.

Eunji is the definition of the the cheerleader stereotype. She’s cute, and sexy, like an impossible combination to find within a girl. She has an amazing body, with an amazing boob to ass combination. Her curves and volomptous body was something every girl wanted to achieve in life. Eunji was the most sought out girl on campus by all boys, and girls too. Eunji swung both ways. In all honesty, she should’ve been named cheer captain but she was too irresponsible to your coach so she made you cheer captain instead.

“Ah, her, of course you would.” You roll your eyes as you hear Jungkook and the rest of the boys go on and on about her during lunch.

Jungkook: hey, so there’s that physics exam coming up....

You: yes, yes there is. Thanks for informing me about something I already knew. Also. Stop texting me. I’m in class. 

Jungkook: can you tutor me today? I really need help :(

You: and what’s in it for me? My services are not free :)

Jungkook: you get to play on my Nintendo Switch and my VR set at the apartment :))

You: and? That’s all? Jimin’s offered a better deal to help him with English ... sooo no.

Jungkook: and i’ll buy all your favorite foods.

Jungkook: and buy you a bottle of vodka.

Jungkook: :)

You: F I N E. I expect a large ass bottle of vodka.

~*~*~

After school you always had cheer practice, while Jungkook had basketball practice. Jungkook, Yoongi and Jimin were all on the basketball team, but Jungkook would be the one to give you a ride home since you both got out around the same time.

Cheer practice was a drag as you had to hear Eunji go on and on about how she needed to meet a guy who could satisfy her because even though xx person had an enormous dick, it wasn’t enough to please her. Meanwhile everyone sympathized with her and half of the cheer team offered their services to her.

Honestly, her very existence pissed you off, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact Jungkook wanted her over you.

It wasn’t because you were jealous that Eunji and Jungkook would make a good couple, the girl from the cheerleader dating on of the top starting five of the basketball team. Nor was it because you were jealous over the fact that she was probably extremely good at sex, something that would be compatible with Jungkook’s level of experience.

Yeah, absolutely nothing to do with those facts.

You quickly leave the locker room, not even bothering to change as you run out to meet Jungkook so you don’t have to hear Eunji talk about her fucking the guy with the large dick the other day. Also the moment she mentioned Jungkook’s name had you bolting out of the locker room, not wanting to hear her finish her sentence about she thinks her and Jungkook would be compatible fuck buddies.

Still in your cheer uniform, you see Jungkook parked in front of the lockers in his black Toyota Supra. Every time you see his car you always remember how much Jungkook was into nice cars. He looks up from his phone once he sees you in front of the door and unlocks the car for you and goes back to his phone. You know that being his best friend for so long equates to him seeing you in a cheer uniform quite a lot, but the fact it never affects him always stings a bit. There’s never any compliments, no jacket throwing at you to cover up, it’s always no reaction with his stoic face.”

“So, you think Eunji is gonna come on Friday to the party?” Jungkook asks when you get into his car. He normally drives you to and from school which is extremely convenient.

“Ah, probably. There’s going to be alcohol. I think most students will be there no matter what.” You tell him, slowly turning up the volume up on his stereo. Jungkook’s music was always calming to you, but you wanted to use it to tune out this conversation.

Jungkook reaches for the volume button a stop light, turning to down a bit and looking towards you, “You think I actually have a shot? She’s like, the hottest girl I know.” he tells you and you feel the arrows stabbing you right in the heart as you put on your best fake smile.

“Yeah, Who wouldn’t like some stumbling loser who’s apparently magical in bed? Some guy who can’t even call a girl her name in bed but has her screaming his name.” You joke, and you can feel your heart clenching in pain with each word that comes out of your mouth. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter, but you know it does.

It does matter that he thinks Eunji is the hottest girl he’s ever met. It does matter he doesn’t see you for anything else other than his best friend.

It doesn’t matter.

Eunji is just some check mark on his list, you reassure yourself.

You’re the only one that’s been constant in his life, you tell yourself.

“Hey that’s rude. But, I won’t say anything. Let’s stop by the market and we can buy your favorite foods for tonight.” Jungkook tells you and looks at your outfit, “You should probably wear a jacket though so you don’t get weird stares in the store by all the old people.”

“Ah, I forgot my jacket at home today.” You tell him to which you see him roll his eyes at the stop light. He looks at you and then reaches into the back and throws you his jacket.

“Don’t you dare steal my jacket. It’s my favorite.” Jungkook grumbles as he slams on the gas once the light turns green. You throw the jacket on and feel engulfed in his scent and the fact that you’re practically drowning in his over sized jacket.

He pulls into the market parking lot and you step out of the car and see Jungkook do a once over of you.

“Ah, it looks like you’re not wearing pants, but whatever, let’s go.” he says, locking his door and quickly walking towards the doors. You quickly chase after him, trailing him as you watch him grab a shopping cart and follow him down the aisles.

“Do you ever imagine doing this with your future boyfriend? It’s just such a domestic thing to do.” Jungkook tells you, paused in front of the meat section, analyzing the different meats.

“Ah, I think it would be fun, you know?” You tell him, “Going shopping with your significant other and buying food to cook at home.” you look at him staring at the different meats and you point to the sirloin, “That one will taste better. It’s a bit more red and it’s not gonna expire as quickly.” pointing to the one in his right hand.

“Oh, uh thanks.” He tells you, quickly stepping back once he realizes how close you are to him, “Let’s go buy your favorite foods.” He quickly puts the meat in the plastic and into the cart.

You finish shopping an hour later, mostly because you had to keep telling Jungkook which meat or vegetable would be better to buy. That boy is always picking out the ones that almost expire.

There was also a lot of back and forth arguing of you wanting to buy all your favorite snacks but Jungkook would tell you it’s too much.

But here you are, the back seat filled with half the bags of your favorite snacks and alcohol.

“I can’t believe half of the shit I bought was for you.” Jungkook grumbles as you’re happily humming along to his playlist.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over how much you love me and are eternally grateful for me.” You look over at him and give him a sarcastic smirk.

Finally arriving at his apartment you help him unload all the bags into the cabinet and refrigerator, leaving two full bags of groceries filled with your favorite foods and drinks. After you two finish unpacking everything, he clears the dining table and lines it with your favorite foods and the physics textbook and his notes.

“So, what did you need help on? I assume everything because it’s you.” You tell Jungkook once you take your seat next to him, opening the bag of your favorite gummy candy.

“Yeah, I dunno. This section has been rough on me you know? I don’t understand almost anything.” Jungkook tells you, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Maybe you should start paying attention in class for once instead of texting or ditching class to bang a girl.” You mutter as you review his notes and his past homework, which he did pretty poorly on considering he normally averages an 80% in science.

“Geez, I don’t ditch class all the time to bang a girl. It was only that chem girl. She was so desperate, I couldn’t turn her down.” Jungkook groaned, “She kept sexting me before school, I couldn’t just turn her down.”

“Yeah, you can turn her down. It’s something called self-control. Maybe you should learn it someday so you can start passing your classes.” You shoot him a side-eye and return you focus back to his homework.

“You have no idea how much self-control I have.” he mutters under his breath but it goes unnoticed by you as you write out a problem on his notebook that he struggled on.

“Try do this problem. I’ll help you after two minutes.” You tell him, sliding the notebook towards him. He groans but takes it anyways. He tries to complete the velocity problem, but it’s ultimately lost on him.

“Geez, I guess we’re starting from scratch. I hope you’re ready.” You tell Jungkook after analyzing his work for a variety of problems you write down and he couldn’t finish.

Drilling all the different physics formulas almost felt impossible but at least after a couple hours pass and a couple of empty gummy and chip bags later, he can somewhat finish the problems with relative ease.

“Oh, wow, you actually got 85% of the problems right. Congrats Jungkook.” you tell him once you finish grading his practice problems you set up for him.

You feel his pull you in for an embrace has his head is buried into your shoulder.

“You’re amazing.” He murmurs into your ear and pulls slightly away from you, but you’re still in his embrace, “You have no idea how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

“Yeah, you’re so lucky, you better cherish me you asshole.” You joke to which he just smiles brightly at you. It’s one of those warm-boyish smiles. The one where his face scrunches up, and his eyes turn into to little curves.

“So, shall we play with the VR system? I got Beat Saber last week.” Jungkook asks once he drops his arms from his embrace.

“Lets go! I’ve been wanting to play it forever!” You happily tell him. The two of you clean up the dining table, throwing all your food trash away. He sets up the VR system on the T.V as you wait patiently on the couch.

“So what kind of songs did you download for the game? I saw a play of Gangnam Style that went viral. It actually resembles the actual dance!” You comment as he sets up the game, which doesn’t take too long.

“Yeah, I have Gangnam Style. Taehyung insisted it was the first song I downloaded. You can browse through the songs, I have a lot.” he tells you once he opens up the main menu for Beat Saber.

JUngkook goes through the instructions of how to play the game. He puts on the VR headset, and adjusts it so it fits nicely on your face. Honestly, it is amazing. The graphics are so realistic and he hands you the controllers you search through the songs, going for Gangnam Style.

You’re actually kind of bad at the game at first, but you hear Jungkook laughing at you as you play through the chorus that has the beat map designed so you’re dancing Gangnam Style.

Jungkook shows you the video he took of you once you’re done and you punch him while he’s just laughing at you failing your arms around while playing the game.

“Oh my gawd, stop laughing you asshole!” you try to pry the phone out of his hands but fail. It starts a mini war between you two as you climb on top of him, trying to grab the phone. After you finally grab his phone, you realize that you’re straddling him, and lying on top of him on the couch.

“Geez, get off you fatass.” Jungkook groans once you toss him back his phone at his face, not before he shields himself with an arm, as you quickly get off of him.

“First of all, I’m not a fatass, you jerk face.” You mumble to yourself, sitting next to him properly as he pushes himself off the couch.

He gets up and changes the game, suggesting that you play the two-player cooking game. One person is put into the VR system, which you obviously take, and the other uses the keyboard and the mouse pad to play the second person.

At first the game goes quite smoothly in the first couple of levels, but at level 7 you and Jungkook are bickering with one another about the game.

“I told you I needed two burgers with cheese! Where are they!” Jungkook grumbles as you’re in the VR machine making the food as he’s the server.

“Well all I see are angry customers! Go serve them first! Plus that’s not what you told me you prick!”

“How did we pass level 7! Eleven is kicking our butt!” Jungkook comments as you’re speed cooking as you see his character running around the entire restaurant serving all the customers with drinks and the food.

“I thought you said this was easy!” You shout in frustration as you see another angry customer from the slowness of your food.

“It was easy! The first couple of levels I played with Taehyung!” Jungkook refutes as the two of you finally finish level twelve, and you yank off the VR headset and flop on the couch next to Jungkook.

Your body naturally falls against him, leaning against his chest, the pants in both of your breaths still uneven from the intense game that was just played.

“Woah, are you playing the cooking game!” You hear a voice exclaim and you open your eyes to see Taehyung and Jimin standing at the door, taking off their shoes.

“And he bought food for us! Wow! I’m surprised Jungkook actually remembered!” Jimin sarcastically comments, pointing at the bags of groceries on the table.

“Oh, those are mine that he bought. But we did buy your groceries for the next couple of days.” You correct Jimin who nods and throws his bag on the ground, plopping on the couch next to you.

“Geez, today was so tiring. Coach was mad at my performance last game and he made me stay longer after practice.” Jimin leans his head back spreading his legs out.

“Stop man-spreading you asswipe!” You knee his thigh back close and shift closer to Jungkook, “Honestly, it’s your worst habit you douche.”

“It’s not that bad! I don’t do it all the time!” Jimin defends himself, looking at Taehyung and Jungkook hoping they back him up but they just shrug and focus their attention elsewhere.

“She’s not wrong, you do it a lot, man-spreading.” Taehyung sits on the chair next to the sofa, “Anyways, level twelve!? Are you guys monsters?!”

“She’s the monster, inside and outside the game.” Jungkook points towards me and I jab at his stomach in response, “See, monster.”

“She’s an adorable monster, that’s what.” Jimin pinches my cheeks, “Who hates when I sit comfortably in my own apartment.” you feel his pinch get harsher as you bat away your hands.

“How do you even get girls to like you. Gawd, you’re all so annoying.” You exclaim, as you hear Jungkook going off to Taehyung about how horrible you were at the game, and kept messing up all the orders, “Secondly, I was not the one giving out the wrong orders! You kept telling me you needed burgers and wouldn’t elaborate which ones they were.”

“In my defense, as my best friend, you’re supposed to read my mind already.” Jungkook defends himself, but you hear the sarcasm dripping out of his voice.

“And as my best friend you should’ve known that I don’t understand the difference between burger, and buurgerrr and burgerrrrss! How am i supposed to know that a burger is a cheeseburger, a buurgerrr is with ketchup, and a burgerrrrs is double-stacked as well!”

“See! You obviously know the difference, you should’ve used your knowledge in the game.” Jungkook points out and want to strangle him, so you do.

“I’m going to kill you, you brat!” You growl trying to get him into a head lock, as you jump up on the couch, kicking Jimin in the leg during the process.

“Jesus, how are you two best friends.” Taehyung grumbles as he sets the VR game for himself, “You two are more like an old married couple if you ask me.”

“Shut up Taehyung before I murder you too!” you shout as Jungkook tries to pry himself out of your headlock.

The night ended with the four of you tired from playing the VR. Honestly, you would think one person would hog the system all night, but after two games, you are seriously burnt out and need to switch out.

Taehyung is somehow a master at cooking game being the chef and apparently Jungkook is too overpowered when paired up with him as the server. You and Jimin try to tag team, but compared to Taehyung and Jungkook, you guys look like failures.

You call it a night once it hits one in the morning and Jungkook tells you he has to drive you home or else he’ll probably fall asleep at the wheel.

“I’m honestly coming over your house more often to play more games, is that alright?” You ask Jungkook in the car during the ride home and you hear him let out a groan.

“No, cause you’ll just hog my VR machine and I want to play too.” Jungkook grumbles and you gently punch his leg, not wanting to punch his arm to cause him to swerve into another lane.

“Geez! Woman! I was joking!” Jungkook yells, rubbing his leg like it was the most dramatic and painful punch in this world, “of course you can come over and play. Doing VR with more friends is a lot more fun.”

“Yay! You’re the best Jungkook.” You beam brightly when he’s slows the car down for the red light, “I have no idea what I’d do without you, you know?”

“Die, suffer, not buy lunch, be a non-alcoholic.” Jungkook looks over at you and you see the playful smile grow along with his twinkling eyes, “I think most of all, probably would suffer without all the rides I give you too and from school.”

“Okay, I take that back, I want a new best friend, that constantly would support my alcohol problem.” You joke and his jaw slacks in the most dramatic way as his eyes widen up.

“Nope, sorry, no refunds, no take backs, no exchanges on the best person in the world.” Jungkook smiles, “I’m with you forever.”

“Even when I’m all old, round and wrinkly?” You ask and he nods, but not before turning his attention back to the road because the light turned green.

“Even when you’re old, round and wrinkly. I’ll be playing Mahjong with you in a senior center, beating you, like always.” Jungkook comments and your brows burrow in confusion.

“When did we learn to play Mahjong? Why aren’t we old people playing in the VR system?” You joke as Jungkook just shakes his head in response.

“Honey, we have to play Mahjong if we want to live our lives out like those actors and actresses in Crazy, Rich, Asians.” Jungkook tsks, “We’re going to learn Mahjong when we have kids to teach them the important meanings of life.”

“Our kids? That would be nice. I would seriously want two girls. That would be the best.” You hear your voice trail off, as you imagine sitting in your imaginary yard watching your kids play till the sun sets.

“Yeah, our kids.... I mean, my kids and your kids. Because I obviously want a boy and a girl. Gotta have the son to carry on the amazing family name.” Jungkook clarifies and you just nod.

“Yeah, separate kids.” Your voice trails off as you look at the space between you and Jungkook. Of course it was crazy to imagine that you and Jungkook would be the ones together in future. 

He doesn’t even see you that way.

“We’re here.” Jungkook parks the car, putting the parking brake on. Looking up, you see him looking straight at you, “Thanks for helping me study. I know Sunday I wouldn’t have any time to study as I’ll be nursing a hangover.”

“Oh, right, the party. I forgot about it.” You chuckle awkwardly, remembering his goal of the party to nail apparently the prettiest girl he knows, Eunji.

“Anyways, you want me to pick you up? I’m catching an Uber with Taehyung and Jimin, so I can pick you up at your house and we can catch an Uber from there.” Jungkook asks but you shake your head in response.

“I’m not sure if I want to even go tonight. It doesn’t sound too pleasing.” You tell him a white lie. When in fact you weren’t sure if you could handle seeing him with Eunji all night.

“Please, I need my best friend there, you know, for the courage.” Jungkook pleads, “Plus I know that it will be fun. Hoseok said it’s in that rich neighborhood next to my apartment complex.”

“I’ll think about it.” You tell him, when he parks the car outside your house and give him a wave when you exit.

“Message me if you want that ride!” Jungkook tells you as he pulls away and you see him zoom back to his house. Watching him drive off, you feel the empty, sinking feeling as he’s no longer with you as you walk into your house.

~*~*~*

Friday came way too quickly and the party is tonight and you find yourself dreading to go. However, Hoseok coaxes you into going and you’re finally at here, with a red solo cup in one hand, leaning against Taehyung who has his arm wrapped around you.  

“I can’t believe that worked on you.” Taehyung jokes as he grabs your cup, taking a sip from it, “And how the fuck do you drink Vodka straight? Are you even real.”

Namjoon is laughing at him as he takes a sip of your drink as well and hands it back, wiping his lips with the back of his hands,

“You’re hard core, I gotta give you that.” Namjoon laughs and you smile giving him a peace sign and a lazy smile as you lean closer in to Taehyung.

“There’s my best friends!” Jimin’s tipsy self shoves his way between Taehyung and you.

“Jimin, you didn’t even drink that much, this fucking beastly princess here is just drinking straight vodka.” Taehyung jokes and Jimin turns to you, grabbing the drink from your hand, chugging down the entire content of the cup.

“Ah, my best friend is too hardcore for me. I honestly don’t know how you don’t have a boyfriend.” Jimin goes on and you groan internally as Taehyung covers his ears.

When Jimin is tipsy, he normally goes on long rants about how (insert’s friends name) should be in a relationship. Last week he went off how Namjoon should be in a relationship because he’s tall, his deep voice, his nice ass, he’s got a large package, when Namjoon suddenly whacked him upside the head ending the conversation. Not to say that Jimin found the hottest girl at the party and got her to sleep with Namjoon.

Definitely a score for Namjoon in his books.

“I mean, come on, you have a great ass,” Jimin smacks it to emphasize his point, and you’re tempted to castrate him, but you decide against it.

The girls that worship the ground he walks on would kill you first before you lay your hands on him.

“Look, I’m not down to hear about my practical younger sister’s body sexually, so I’m going to find Yoongi to make sure that bastard isn’t sleeping on a bed yet.” Namjoon states as he is practically running away. Namjoon and you have basically established a sibling relationship, with him being the older brother that always protects his younger sister. Honestly, it was a cute how Namjoon would protect you sometimes from them, or sometimes leave you to fend for yourself, like tonight.

“YOU KNOW HER ASS IS GREAT NAMJOON.” Jimin shouts and you want the world to swallow you whole as Jimin keeps his hand on your butt.

Jimin is probably your touchiest friend, and the most flirty out of all of them. You normally don’t care about his tendencies because you know most of the time it comes out when he’s drunk.

“Jimin, I appreciate the compliments, but you don’t need to shout it to the world you know?” You tell him and Jimin just dismisses you, waving his hand in front of him.

“No, the world needs to know how lucky they would be if they could date you. You’re the best girl in this entire party that’s my best friend of course. And any guy would be lucky to have you.” Jimin tells you, wagging his finger in front of you, almost like he’s giving you a lecture.

“Fine Jimin. Any guy is lucky to date me, but I’m not too interested to get some tonight.” You tell him but he shrugs, dismissing your words completely.

“Nah. My girl is gonna dance with someone tonight! And I volunteer Seokjin!” Jimin exclaims and runs off leaving you and Taehyung to let out a deep groan.

“Glad he didn’t say me sweetheart. Now if excuse me, I’m going to go flirt with some girl and watch you suffer in pain.” Taehyung tells you patting your shoulder. You see him wink at some girl who’s against the wall talking to her friend and see her blush.

Gawd, why was he so gross. You groan internally and watch him walk over introducing himself. Honestly, you didn’t care what most of them did. They all believed in love but were just letting everything out now and enjoying life as it was as a young adult. But sometimes it felt too cringe the way the would flirt with a girl just to get her to sleep with them. Example, how Jungkook would sleep with so many girls, or Taehyung flirting with the girl to make them feel special only to break their heart in return.

Jimin returns with Seokjin resisting the pull towards you but you know what Jimin wants, he gets. So Seokjin stops putting up the fight and is now standing right in front of you.

“Enjoy your dance my two friends.” Jimin sing-songs and disappears into the crowd.

“That bastard. One day I’m going to murder him in his sleep.” Seokjin groans and looks at you, “Fancy seeing you here babe.” he sends you a sleazy wink and you feel yourself shudder in response.

“Stop. Please. These flirty comments turn me off now.” You tell him, grabbing his drink drinking most of the contents in it, “A screwdriver, really?”

“Closest thing I could get to a fruity drink. It’s not the best but it makes do at house parties like these.” Seokjin shrugs in response as you hand the drink back to him. “So tell me princess, why am I here with you dancing?”

“First of all, don’t call me princess. Secondly, I dunno. Ask Jimin. He thought you were my perfect dancing partner.” You shrug as you look over to see Taehyung laughing at you with his eyes as his lips hide his smirk of mockery, and you flip him off in response.

“I know I’m an amazing dance partner, but really?” Seokjin scoffs in return, also flipping Taehyung off, “But shall we dance princess? Since I’m an amazing dancer.”

“Yeah, your dancing is almost as good as Namjoon.” You joke as you follow him to the crowd that’s turned the living room into a dance party.

“So why didn’t you stop Jungkook from trying to get with Eunji? She’s literally you, but worse.” Seokjin asks after a couple of songs on the floor. The music was your typical house party EDM music mixed with some decent artists like Odesza, Illenium, and Porter Robinson.

“Why? He wanted to get with her? As his best friend I should support his decisions.” You reply, hoping Seokjin would drop it but he continues with the conversation.

“If you don’t do anything, he’s just going to slip through your fingers. I know he really likes Eunji for a fact.” Seokjin whispers in your ear. You catch sight of Jungkook with Eunji on the makeshift dance floor, her grinding against him, as his hands roam up and down her voluptuous body.

You shake your head and remember to focus on dancing with Seokjin, that’s why Jimin dragged him here, for you to have a good time tonight.

~*~*~*

Honestly, the parties always end up like this. As the party dies down, people knocked out on various parts of the living room, boys going home with their new prey of the night, here you are sitting with your friends, talking stories.

Jungkook was ticked off though because Eunji ditched him to go sleep with some other guy from another school. So he was here, sulking as everyone was enjoying their time drunk together.

Today, however was a bit different however as Taehyung had the genius idea to play Never Have I Ever. The game was going pretty well for you, as the boys keep talking about how they never banged (insert girl’s name) or done sex in (insert sexual position), clearly trying to get each other fucked up. However, you stayed relatively sober,

until now.

“So, never have I ever, fucked someone in this room.” Hoseok says proudly and you can’t help look at Seokjin who lets out a sigh and downs his shot.

Welp, the cat is out of the bag.

You down your shot following Seokjin and everyone loses their fucking mind.

Which you did expect to happen, but man, Hoseok looks like he’s having an existential crisis.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Taehyung shrieks and points at the both of you back and forth. “WHEN? HOW? W H Y? WHAT THE FUCK?”

“How do you think we got to know each other? I randomly was like hi, lets be friends.” Seokjin jokes and Taehyung is rendered speechless.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I thought you said you wouldn’t fuck any of us.” Jimin accuses you and you bite your lips, hoping you don’t have to answer that and face Jungkook’s glare at your very existence.

“Ah, I mean, I did stop fucking him, He pissed me off that week you asked that, so I said what I thought at that time. I regretted fucking him, so I said that.” You explain and Yoongi is still in shock and hasn’t moved since your confession.

“Wait, so, you’re not immune to our looks?” Jimin asks and you grow silent not knowing how to answer that. Tell him yes? You think all of them are sculpted like adonis figures and have them think that you’re only friends to get in their pants?

Or lie, and tell them you don’t think any of them are hot and they’re about as hot as a moldy burnt bread.

“Well, i’m not going to deny you guy are good looking. You’d have to be blind to not realize that you guys are good looking. There’s a reason why everyone wants to get with you.” You answer, not quite satisfied with your answer, but at least you dodge the awkward questions.

“Well, moving on then,” Yoongi trails off, “Never have I ever thought of anyone sexually here.”

“That’s fucking bullshit.” Taehyung grumbles as he takes his shot along with Jimin, Seokjin, Namjoon and surprisingly Jungkook.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You stare in shock at all of them, “Except Jimin. You were screaming to everyone earlier how I have a hot piece of ass.” Jimin just shrugs, sending you a lazy wink combined with his signature smirk causing you to roll your eyes.

“Well like you said, you gotta be blind to not realize that you’re fucking hot.” Taehyung says and you look at Namjoon next who just shrugs.

“Hey, i’m not going to deny that you’re hot.” he has a lazy smirk plastered on his face and you just bury your hands into your hand processing the information.

“But you always call me your little sister! You even ran away when Jimin started talking about my ass!” You accuse the man who has hands up in the air in defense.

“Well now, when I first met you, I thought you had a nice ass. Then I realized you’re sharp tongue and thought, it’s better if she’s just a friend. Plus, Jimin has gone off about your ass too many times to count, I didn’t want to hear about it again.” he says so nonchalantly as you recall all the times Namjoon has treated you like a sister, going all overprotective brother on your sorry ass when you pissed off one of them.

“Wow, I got friend-zoned, no even worse, sister-zoned.” You laugh as you down your shot.

“Woah woah woah, hold the fuck up.” Hoseok says and looks between you and Namjoon, “Had he not friend-zoned you, would you have tried to sleep with him?”

“Had I met him before Seokjin, then yes.” You tell them honestly and you swear you’ve never seen his eyes go that wide before. Not even when he caught you watching porn with Jungkook on his computer. It was casual and somehow you went down the YouTube hole that ended up there. But honestly, Jungkook and you were criticizing the porn rather than using it as a method of getting yourself off. Both of you criticizing her positions and how unrealistic this is for sex, and creates a fetish of woman and men alike for them to act like a porn star during sex.

“What about me? Would have slept with me?” Taehyung asks bright eyes and you can’t help but remember everything about your friendship with Taehyung.

“I would’ve slept you, even after sleeping with Seokjin. Had I not encounter your gawd-awful personality when you’re with him.” You joke to which Taehyung playfully puts you in a headlock.

“What about me? You’ve always known I think you got a fine piece of ass.” Jimin asks and you can’t help but roll your eyes,

“Jimin, you’re hot as fuck, and why I don’t really care when you get all touchy with me, but I’d feel so sorry for the girl that has to date you, especially if it was me.” You laugh and see Jimin in shock. You know he’s playing and he actually has a girl he likes but he’s always flirty with you.

“You had that coming, my friend.” Yoongi jokes, comforting a sulking Jimin.

“Wait do Jungkook next!” Taehyung exclaims and you turn to see Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Let’s not, have this conversation.” Jungkook mumbles as he plays with his empty shot glass, like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Wait, but you took a shot, so you’ve always felt that way about ___?” Taehyung pesters him and you see the irritation grow in his eyes.

“I’m not having this conversation now.” Jungkook states as he looks at Taehyung in the eyes and then his eyes trail off to the side of the room, clearly wanting this conversation to end.

“Wait so you’d still fuck her now?” Hoseok asks, curious to see the boy’s answer. You see Jungkook let out a breath of frustration, clearly wanting to murder his friends. You couldn’t tell if it was the frustration with the conversation or the events that led up to this conversation.

“I’m done.” He stands up and quickly walks out and you stare at Seokjin in surprise as he sends you a look telling you to go after him.

You hesitate, knowing that your six friends here now know that maybe you felt something for some of them. Seokjin groans at your long hesitation as he knows you’re too scared to move to chase after him.

“I swear ____, if you don’t go after him I’ll describe in horrible detail about that one time you fucking bit my dick.” Seokjin states.

Your face pales in remembrance of that horrible day. You were having a bad day, Seokjin was being an ass, you choked on air, forgot his dick was in your mouth and bit so hard he thought he was going to have to go to the doctors to get a check-up.

You never stood up so fast in your entire life and ran to chase after Jungkook.

“Jungkook! Wait!” You chase him out of the house and see him walking back to his apartment that was about a 20 minute walk from the house party.

He stops momentarily, before he picks up pace from a slow walk to a brisk walk. You groan in frustration as you take off your heels and run after him. You grab his arm and pull him towards you and he won’t meet your eye contact.

“Jungkook,” You say in between your pants, “Talk to me.”

“No.” he grumbles towards the ground.

“Why not? Jungkook, you’re my best friend. You can talk to me about anything?” You exclaim, wanting him to stop ignoring you.

“That's exactly it!” He exclaims and looks you dead in your eyes, his eyes filled with anger and a hint of lust, “You’re my best friend. I’m not supposed to think about you sexually, but here I am. I think about how it would be to have down your fucking knees, my dick in your mouth to get your sassy ass mouth to stop talking, seeing you unravel under me. From going from this strong woman who won’t let anyone boss her around, to becoming a moaning mess. Or like yesterday, on the couch, you riding me, oh my god. I thought I was going to explode.” he groans, “And especially yesterday! You got into my car in your fucking cheerleader outfit and you have no idea how ready I was to pounce on you in the car. I wanted to fuck you into oblivion right there in my car as all the girls on the cheerleading team watched. It would’ve been fucking amazing, but it took all my strength to hold back.”

His fist curl up into a tight ball, “I remember I was going to confess to you the day at Seokjin’s party. When I finally found out where you were, you were in that fucking bedroom with Seokjin. I’ve fucking known you two were fuck buddies the day you guys met at the party. I remember I heard your fucking moans in the bedroom that was locked. I remember getting myself off in the bathroom next to the room where he’s pounding himself into you as your moans sent me over my edge.”

“Jungkook,” You’re rendered speechless as he spills everything in front of you.

“There, I said it. I’ve been in fucking love with you since the day I saw you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” His words are quickly running through your mind a mile a minute, digesting his confession.

You realize why he barely gave you a glance when you entered the car, and his mind looked like it was elsewhere when you entered. Why he called you a fat-ass on the couch, as you were straddling him above his crotch. You were wearing your cheerleading skirt still, so your skirt was flared over his crotch.

“How was I supposed to? The day I finally got the courage to talk to you, you ended sleeping with Seokjin. Then the next couple of months, you and Seokjin were fuck buddies. By the time you were introduced to us by him, we were made clear that you were off-limits, and then we became best friends.”

“Jungkook,” the words won’t come out of your mouth, stuck in your throat. You want to say something, anything, but it won’t come out of your mouth.

“Yeah, don’t feel any pity.” Jungkook grumbled and right before he was about to walk away you grabbed his wrist.

“But Eunji. The whole, I wanna sleep with her because she’s the hottest girl you’ve met. What?” the words of jealousy fall out of your mouth before you can stop yourself.

“Eunji is second rate compared to you. She’s you, but worse. It was all a ruse. I wanted to get over you, but she was nothing like you. It’s why she left me tonight, because I kept glancing over at you and Jimin. Man, did I want to murder him for not keeping his hands off you. And the he dragged Seokjin towards you. You and Seokjin on the dance floor, I stormed off, not even paying attention to her anymore.” Jungkook tells you.

“But, those other girls... the i can’t talk to girls, Jungkook I don’t understand.” The words fumble out of your mouth as your grip tightens around his wrist, not wanting him to slip through your finger and the questions race through your head.

“Had I said anything to those brainless bitches it would’ve been your name. I would’ve moaned your name, I would’ve said your name, and that would end horribly.” Jungkook rolls his eyes as his fist bunches together, “Now you know my secret, if you can excuse me, I’m going home.” He tries to pull away from your vice claw grip, but you only yank him closer towards you and you cup his cheeks and fully plant your lips on his.

The fireworks go off in your mind, as he starts moving against your lips. It feels so right. The kiss is passionate, but it feels like home. The kiss continues, you two only pulling apart for gasps of breaths, before he pulls away.

“I like you Jungkook.” your voice is a low whisper as it is only made for him to hear.

“FUCKING FINALLY GET SOME!” You hear a voice call out and the two of you turn around to see your friends cat-calling and cheering your names. Seokjin is standing in the middle of them giving you a cheesy grin with two thumbs up.

“I’m going to murder them.” Jungkook growls, but you hold him back before he can beat up his friends.

“This is why I wish I bit off your dick, you ass!” You shout back to Seokjin as Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist.

~*~*~*

[you-a-southpaw-doll]

Another One Bites The Dust (AOBTD) - Chapter 1

Warning(s): Explicit Langauge. Death. Gore. A Hardcore Love for a Chocolate Milkshake. 

Author’s Note: This is the first chapter of Another One Bites The Dust (AOBTD). It’s a bit longer than the next one, but I really hope y’all enjoy it. Feel free to let me know what you think! :) 

Taglist: (Also, if you wanna be added to my taglist, just let me know.)

@negans-network

Next Chapter:   Two.

Chapter 1 ~ My Milkshake (Brings All The Boys)

I walk into Chick-Fil-A, noticing a little girl of no more than five years of age, playing by herself at a table with two G.I. Joe action figures. Me too, kid. Me fuckin’ too. I hear heavy arguing coming from the kitchen as I make my way to the counter to place my order. 

I tap my fingers against the smooth faux granite as I wait. I’m not really frustrated at havin’ to wait. I actually don’t mind it one bit. It’s just nice that I ain’t gotta wait on any customers at the moment. After a few moments, a young lady and a young man walk out from the kitchen.

The swinging door smacks against the wall in response to the lady shoving it roughly. She makes her way to the register.

“Can I help you?” She asks, obviously annoyed.

“I’d like a chocolate milkshake, please.” I say.

She huffs, but rings it up for me before letting me know when I can pay. I wait while my milkshake is made. I don’t know why, but I’ve been craving a chocolate milkshake from Chick-Fil-A for days. Normally, I’d get some nuggets and a medium fry to eat, but I’m not in the mood for those at the moment. 

I just want my milkshake. The lady goes back to arguing with the man while she makes it. I can tell she’s clearly pissed off, and the last thing she wants to do is make me a damn milkshake. She even mutters that under her breath, thinking I can’t hear her, but I can.

I step outside since it’s going to be a few minutes for my milkshake to be ready. I walk across the almost empty parking lot to the grocery store where I’ve worked for a couple years now. None of my favorite co-workers are there today, so I don’t bother talkin’ to the others. 

They’d just piss me off. I hear a commotion outside and see a figure walking, sluggishly through the parking lot. The left side of it’s body is drooping, and even from looking through the glass windows, I can tell something’s not right. The figure seems to be snapping its jaws and acting like a wild animal.

It takes me a moment to realize what’s wrong. I’d heard on the news over the past few weeks that the dead were coming back to life and walking amongst the living. I didn’t think it’d reach us this quickly, but I guess the apocalypse truly has started.

I reach under the register that I normally work at and grab my backpack. I haven’t clocked back in for work yet, since I’m still on my lunch break. I probably won’t be getting my next paycheck. I guess it don’t really matter anymore, since it seems like the world’s gone to complete and utter shit. 

I make sure everything I had packed in my bag is still there. It is. I sling it over my shoulder and head outside after drawing my knives from their sheaths in my bag. Holding one in my right hand, I make quick work of ending the dead’un’s second life.

He falls to the ground with a sickening thud, but I don’t focus on that ‘cause more dead’uns are making their way towards me. From what I can tell, there’re only four headin’ my way. I end them too, making sure that I don’t get hurt myself, but also ‘cause no one should have to suffer like this. 

Living in this world is hard ‘nough as a living, breathing person, but to come back as a dead’un? That shit’s rough. I wouldn’t wish that on even my worst enemy. I hear the rumbling of a big truck. I turn and look as a monster truck comes down the hill and pulls to a stop beside me.

I look at the driver, and realize it’s my dad.

“C’mon! Hop in!” He says.

I’m shocked. He’s not being an asshole like he normally is, but that don’t necessarily mean I’m ‘bout to get in the vehicle with him. I hear more footsteps come up from my right side. I turn, knife drawn, ready to end another dead’un’s suffering. 

I stop when I realize that it’s just the two men I love with everything in me, Jeffrey and Tim. They both look at me with pride and love shining in their eyes. I know they both love me with everythin’ in ‘em, and I love ‘em too. Jeffrey runs his right hand through his short, dark black hair, ruffling it up, before bringing his hand down to his face and over his salt and pepper beard.

Tim scratches the side of his face, just above his ginger beard. His hair’s already messed up, but that’s just his style. He usually goes with the bed head look on a daily basis.

“Damn, doll. You sure do know how to use that knife.” Jeffrey drawls, smirking.

I laugh. “You have no idea, hon.”

Tim chuckles. “That’s my girl.”

I grin at him. They walk over and hug me. It’s good to have ‘em here. I was worried that they wouldn’t be able to show up for my lunch break, but they did. I know that it’s hard to get away from the school sometimes for lunch. Tim’s a science and history teacher at the local high school, and Jeffrey’s the gym teacher. 

They both coach baseball during the spring, and boys’ wrestlin’ team durin’ the winter. Although, my lunch break has taken quite an interesting turn, to say the least. My boys both kiss my cheeks. I grin even more. Ok. So, I may not have the most conventional relationship, but I wouldn’t trade what I have with these two goofballs for anything.

We’re all three happy with what we’ve got going. In fact, they both proposed to me yesterday, and of course, I said yes. I couldn’t imagine living my life without either of ‘em. Anyway, I hear my dad hollering for me from the monster truck.

“C’mon! Get in the truck! Now!” He yells.

I sigh and look at my boys, jerking my head in the direction of the truck.

“C’mon. Y’all get in first.” I instruct.

They do. Jeffrey gets in the back while Tim hops up in the passenger seat. I tuck my knife into the sheath attached to the tactical belt holding my cargo pants up. Tossing my bag up to Jeffrey, I blow him a kiss.

“I’ll be right back!” I say, before I take off across the parking lot towards Chick-Fil-A.

“What?” I hear Tim holler after me. “Darlin’?”

“Doll! Get your fuckin’ ass back here! Now!” Jeffrey calls.

“No! I’m going to get my milkshake!” I holler back.

I’ll be damned if a zombie apocalypse is going to keep me from getting my fuckin’ chocolate milkshake. I open the door, and see the same thing I saw earlier: the little girl still sitting at the table, playing, and the two employees arguing with each other.

However, after a moment, I realize they’re not actually arguing. The man’s already turned and he’s trying to attack the woman. She turns her head to look at me as I walk closer. Her distracted state allows for the newly turned dead’un to take a huge ass bite out of her neck. 

I sigh as I draw my knife out, and get prepared to use it. I just wanted a fuckin’ milkshake. That’s all. I make quick work of ending the dead’un and going ahead and putting the girl out of her misery before she too can turn. Like I said, I wouldn’t wish this new life on my worst enemy.

My eyes drift to the little girl after I hear the door to the restaurant open and a few more dead’uns come in. I quickly kill the dead’un before they have a chance to hurt the little girl.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s your name?” I ask, making my way over to her, and crouching down so we’re at eye level with one another.

She looks up at me. “Angel.”

I smile. “Pretty name. Where are your parents?”

“I think daddy’s in the back with mommy. They’re arguing.”

I sigh. I just killed her parents. Fuck. I sure as shit ain’t gonna fuckin’ leave her alone now. Not in this shit-tastic, fucked up world.

“Angel, can you do me a favor?” I ask, calmly and as sweet as I can manage.

She nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Ok. I want you to stay behind me. No matter what. Ok?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She slides out of the booth. I spot my milkshake sitting on the counter. I make my way over to get it once I make sure that we’re relatively safe for the moment. There’s more milkshake in the blender, and the cups half full. I fill it up. I paid for it and I’m gonna get all that I can. 

I really wanted that damn milkshake. I notice a 12-count nugget, a large fry, and a chicken sandwich sitting on the heat bar. I snag ‘em up. I glance at Angel. She’s still behind me, waiting for my next step. I hear a gurgling sound and realize that there’s a dead’un trying to crawl in through the drive-thru window.

I scoop Angel up under my arm, giving her the milkshake to hold onto. Making sure I’ve got the girl, the food, and my fucking chocolate milkshake, I run out of the restaurant and back into the parking lot. I groan as I see more dead’uns filling up the empty spaces where cars once parked. 

I hear the rumble of a truck and look up to see the monster truck heading towards me. It comes to a halt beside me. Jeffrey’s in the front seat now with Tim sitting beside him. My dad’s nowhere to be seen, but I don’t dare dwell on that fact. 

Angel takes the waffle fries from me and holds onto ‘em with a death grip.

“Get your fuckin’ ass in the fuckin’ truck now, doll.” Jeffrey says, sternly.

I know it seems like he’s being harsh, but he’s not. I can tell he’s worried ‘bout me, and cares deeply for me. He just happens to cuss so much that it’d make a sailor blush.

“I’m glad you’re ok, darlin’.” Tim says, softly, as he reaches back to open the passenger door.

I set the little girl up into the backseat of the truck. She holds onto the fries for dear life. I chuckle as I give the nuggets and my milkshake to Tim. I reach up, grabbing ahold of the door so that I can pull myself up onto the seat. Once the door’s shut, Jeffrey hits the gas, getting us outta the fuckin’ parking lot. 

Tim turns in his seat, leaning closer to Jeffrey as he looks at me. He hands me the food and my milkshake. I take the stuff and notice that Angel’s munching on the fries. I smile as I take a sip of my milkshake. It was fuckin’ worth it. I let out a happy sigh, and close my eyes as I swallow the milky concoction.

“What the fuck were you thinkin’?” Jeffrey asks.

I open my eyes. Tim’s still looking at me. I know he’s worried ‘bout me too. I glance over at Jeffrey. He turns his head briefly to look at me before looking back at the road in front of him.

“I told you, I wanted my milkshake.” I say, stating the obvious.

Tim chuckles. Jeffrey huffs. I grin.

“I hope it’s worth it. You scared the fuckin’ shit out of me, doll.” Jeffrey says.

Tim nods. “You did. Scared me too.”

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #079

Do you enjoy Tim Burton films? Which one is your favourite? Oh, I absolutely do. I really enjoy his remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I also have a deep fondness for Corpse Bride. His version of Alice in Wonderland is also fantastic. How many siblings does your significant other have? He has one older sister. Have you ever done three or more shots in a row? I've never taken shots and am not really interested in doing so because I HATE the taste of alcohol. Do you use Twitter? No. Last person to make you seriously mad? Sara. Not even gonna get fuckin started.

As kids, were there any toys that you & your sibling(s) used to fight over? Uhhh, possibly? I mean realistically there probably is SOMETHING, but tbh I was generally into things/toys my sisters weren't so I don't think they really messed with them. As a kid, did you own any items of clothing with a Disney character on them? Oh, certainly. I especially had a whole lot of Finding Nemo stuff. What would you say is your favorite television show? Of all-time, Meerkat Manor, but I am currently most actively interested in/watching Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Quite honestly? No. Those only ever occur when we're with Ashley's family/in-laws, who are a bunch of horrifically conservative hicks quite frankly, and I get really uncomfortable when they do the group prayer before eating (I just close my eyes and dip my head to not feel like a sore thumb), they take ANY get-together as a chance to ramble about how Covid is a government scheme among other political fucking nonsense, and people always ask why I pretty much always barely eat anything at all, especially without fail on Thanksgiving. They're just uncomfortable. Is there any piece of jewelry you're constantly wearing? My lip ring, tragus stud, and the "keep (fucking) going" ring from my mom. Would you say you hate anyone? Quite honestly, yes. If you have the fucking audacity to believe my trauma is invalid and just a lie as a whole, FUCK you and I have ZERO fucking respect for you. That is the rudest fucking thing you could EVER do to me. Do you think freckles are cute? Oh, absolutely. Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yep. Their biscuits are fucking heavenly. Who is your role model, if you had to choose? Markiplier. Do you believe in any particular curses? Nope. Have you ever taken a keyboarding class? Yeah; I want to say two semesters were mandatory in middle school. Favorite high school teacher: Coach Collie. Not a gym teacher, despite his title; he taught English, but was also theeeee... baseball coach, I think? I know he taught some sport and just preferred that title. I still have him on my Facebook, even though I KNOW I disappoint that man with the shit I share and all the cursing I do lmao Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? I am very, fully aware I deal with multiple. I've been diagnosed with SO much over time though and have been told and very much agree it's unlikely I have ALL that I've been told I do, just so much stuff overlaps that I barely know what to call what anymore. I just know I have depression, an unstable mood, extreme sensitivity to judgment, and I'm an anxious mess that worries about anything and everything. Are you normally an independent person? No, quite frankly. Another problem I have is EXTREME dependency. I need my hand held with so many fucking things that it's just straight-up embarrassing. I get overwhelmed absurdly easily and sincerely struggle making sense of things by myself and just feel very stupid a lot. From the bottom of my heart I truly believe the fucking monsoon of different medications I've been on since the 6th grade has taken an awful toll on my brain's overall health and ESPECIALLY my memory, which also greatly affects my ability to do shit on my own. Have you ever failed a class before? I failed algebra during my last attempt at college, and I know I also failed some courses on my second try/online endeavor at college, but I don't remember which. What's the meanest thing someone's called you? I sure did appreciate being called a spineless, weak-willed deadweight by Sara. That was cool. Even cooler than being called a martyr by Briar. Have you ever seen a tornado in person? No and I never, EVER, want to. I would fucking shit myself and I'm not even fucking kidding about that. Probably die on the scene from a goddamn heart attack. I don't fuck around with how much I am petrified of tornadoes. Has anyone made you mad today? I still feel residual anger over stuff relating to Sara from a few days ago, but it's easing up at least... Ever been obsessed with a show? Oh, absolutely Meerkat Manor. Do you remember how old you were, when you first began to use swearwords? However old I was in the 7th grade. Does anyone in your life use terms of endearment a lot when talking to you? Primarily Girt. Mom does too sometimes. What is an essential product that, in your opinion costs more than it should? Feminine hygiene products. Can you recall the last movie/TV show that made you cry? I cried the last time Girt and I watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo. The episode ended super beautifully and emotionally and I just couldn't handle it, haha. Do you remember the last occasion when you were out and about and “bumped into” someone you knew? Were you glad to see them? Uhhhhh... I honestly can't. What does your mother do for work? If she’s a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She is on disability due to her cancer. She does do some cleaning at a church for a small pay, but not enough to disqualify her from disability. It breaks her heart really, she got cancer RIGHT before she would've started interning as a social worker. She's pretty sure that dream just isn't obtainable anymore. Her cancer is GOING to come back at some point, anyway... I just feel so bad for my mom and how she never, ever, got to be/do the things she wanted. What about your father? What does he do? He's been a mailman literally for as long as I've been alive, I think. If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? Honestly? Memes lmfao. When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? Not since high school when I made an anatomically correct heart for Jason. Would you rather be a model, famous scientist, singer, or chef? A scientist. Does making others happy really make you feel happy? Absolutely. Do you know a Jack? What’s he like? Sara has a brother named Jack. Regardless of having absolutely no fucking respect for her, I respect her brother's privacy and am kinda just uncomfortable sharing details about him. When you have children, would you like twins? If I wanted to have kids, I would DREAD having twins. I'd lose my fucking mind. Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? I went to school with a Tyler and Taylor. I also know a woman who has had twin daughters, but idr their names. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? I'd say we're all pretty damn hard-headed. Would you ever live with any of your friends? Not at this point in my life, no. I'm probably only ever moving out when my partner and I are ready for that. Already kinda allude to it happening. What is your favorite kind of chocolate? Milk chocolate, esp with peanut butter or caramel filling. What was your first alcoholic beverage? A hard lemonade. Has a rumor even been spread about you? Yep, even though it was very obviously illogical. Marriage in your future? Probably, it's something we reference for future things, and our relationship is super healthy with no signs of it ending. How did you get your last bruise? Getting my last B-12 shot a few days ago. Which, by the way, has proven pretty fucking ineffective as I've lost solely water weight and no actual fat mass (we know from a scale they use that apparently costed thousands of dollars). I won't be getting them anymore because it's a very expensive program, and my body clearly isn't responding to it, so... what else is new. Are your parents married or divorced? Divorced as fuuuuuck. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yeah, that's honestly the part I prefer. How long was your longest drive in a car? At least 10 hours, but probably closer to 11. Maybe even 12, if my memory is really that bad. What was the name of the main character in the last book you read? Winter. Is your dad a jerk? I mean, he's honestly capable of being one. He doesn't sugar-coat anything whatsoever and is definitely capable of being rude when it's totally unnecessary. My dad is... weird, though, like I really don't think he realizes when he's being an ass. I don't think he as a whole is a real jerk, though. He's more than anything a very talkative, rambly but clueless old man who doesn't realize when he's being too much. Is anyone in your family currently in the military? No. What was the last thing you bought at the dollar store? A snack, I think. I wanna say peach rings. Do you own a bikini? Hell no, absolutely nobody wants to see me in a bikini. Does your town have a horse and carriage company? No. What was the name of the person who bullied you the most in high school? I'm very grateful that I was never bullied. Who was the last person you remember hanging up on you? I don't really know if anyone HAS properly hung up on me. The closest thing to that that's ever happened to me was when I called my WoW main's GM a bigot and he kicked me out of the voice chat and the guild, lmao. That man was fucking crazy, though I really can't remember what happened. This was years upon years ago, when I "lived" in the apartment w/ Jason. What was the last fast food restaurant that you ate at? What did you get? Uh it was Bojangle's a few days back. I had what's called a chicken supreme dinner there, which is five chicken tenders, fries, and a biscuit. List five movies that you hear are good, but that you have never seen. The Harry Potter series of course (which I nowadays refuse to watch because I am fucking not funding a terf that finds comfort in her fucking paycheck), The Blindside, Juno, Lord of the Rings series, and uh The Fault in Our Stars. How many continents have you been to, and which ones? I've never left North America. I want to, though... I wanna travel so bad. How many continents has your best friend been to, and which ones? I'm quite sure he hasn't left NA, either. How many continents has your dad been to, and which ones? I can pretty much guarantee he hasn't left America, either. That’s enough questions about continents. Anyways, do you like Iron Maiden? I sure do, they're a good band. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The little pond area behind the local community college... it's where I took my first prom pictures. I don't like seeing that place, doing so has even made me by itself have a total emotional breakdown. I haven't seen this place in years. Who was the last relative you visited? My grandma and uncle. Have you ever made any money from a side-hustle? I've taken pictures for people and have been paid for it, so I guess. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Oh, I ABSOLUTELY wonder who I would be if Jason never left. It's wild, I actually feel like I'd be a worse person... Is there anything you’d like to say to your last ex? Oh, there's PLENTY, but it's better that I never do. Where did you buy your dishes from? I have no idea, we've had the same pretty porcelain (I uh, think?) plates for literally as long as I can remember. Have you ever been a victim of a crime? Well, I'd say a gang attempting to break into our house, even though they failed, is definitely a crime... At this same house, we also had our basketball goal stolen. Aaaand again the same house, it's been egged and that's considered vandalism. That neighborhood was such incredible shit. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? I've taken a break from Facebook at least once, but I don't usually do this, even though I probably should more often... Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David is an absolute pompous dickbag, BUT I enjoy him more as a singer. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Um, idk. Tbh I'm super bad at remembering quotes, so. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? I seem to remember going inside the post office (where Dad works) as a very young kid. I used to go with my mom occasionally to the church she cleans at, but I'd always just bring my computer and also play Pokemon GO because the church was a gym, ha ha. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? Not that I know of. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We actually didn't, because I had fucking Covid. Wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't getting him sick after he JUST got over Covid himself. Do you have a good sense of direction? ABSOLUTLEY not. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? I can't say I'm sure. Who was the recipient of your very first kiss? Jason. Do you prefer shrimp or crab? SHRIMP. Crab is just so mushy and in general atrocious. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm currently watching jacksepticeye play The Quarry. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Who doesn't, let's be real. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Lock screen, Richard Kruspe. Home screen, this neon green spooky pattern against black. When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February, 2017. Why did you move to where you’re living now? Because the woman who owned this house before was in the hospital dying and pretty much her dying wish was for her friend (also our friend) to have the house and give it to me and my mom (she knew us) because we were technically homeless. I'm so far beyond grateful to have a roof over my head, but god knows Mom and I hate it here. It's not home. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I literally do not give a shit. Even I do it. Not EVERYWHERE of course, but I definitely do it. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? My mom was a spanker when my sisters and I were kids, and sometimes they were too aggressive. I remember her leaving a clear handprint on my arm once. Since having grandkids though, she's grown very much against it. Have you ever been to California? I have not. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Honestly, a whole lot. I can't remember jackshit, I can't give or understand directions (ties into not being able to remember even street names I see regularly), I am astonishingly inept socially, and I could go on for fifteen minutes at least. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? That was fucking Colleen on a daily goddamn routine, it felt like. Y'all have NO fucking idea how many times I've been present while this witch was demanding to talk to a manager on the phone over NOTHING. I've also been with my dad before when he was being a difficult ass to the computer repair people. Are most of the books you own hardcover or paperback? Paperbacks, by far. Cheaper. What was the topic of conversation the last time you spoke to a sibling? I texted Ashley a day or two ago asking her to show Aubree this picture of a really cool balloon animal unicorn I saw online. She LOVES unicorns. What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Do you drink this often? By pure coincidence I have a Mountain Dew Voltage now, but I'm super relieved that I barely ever drink soda anymore, like it's just a rare treat. Flavored sparkling water has saved my fucking ass.

[thornescratch]

I want to watch old Washington Capitals games but I don't know which. If you have any favourite games from the past, would you mind recommending some? It could be your favourite because they won, or they were hilarious while loosing, or even because something memorable or amusing happened at the game. I am asking you because you obviously have a lot of passion for this team, and also because you might have fellow Caps fan followers who might be willing to offer recs too. Thank you in advance!

Oh! This is a super fun question, so thank you. Hmm. This is hard because I know I’m going to write a ton and then remember “I LEFT OUT SUCH AND SUCH GAME” as soon as I hit post. So, yeah, if anyone’s reading this and wants to chime in with their favorite Caps games, please feel free!

And I’m not sure how you’re going to watch these games– hell, I’m not sure all the ones I’d recommend are available, but, I’ll try to be cognizant of that. So. That said. I should probably take this moment to note that if you want to have an actual convenient DVD, Amazon sells one of the 10 Greatest Capitals Games. You used to be able to buy it in the team store, but I haven’t seen it there in a couple years, so.

That particular DVD is very much geared to the Ovechkin era, which I don’t really see as a bad thing, but I don’t know you. And if you’re looking for much more of a deep dive into past Caps history, the DVD does include some of the most exciting and seminal games, but it’s much more current in general. I do get the mindset of people who have been around for this entire franchise and scoff at only focusing at 2005 on. I do get it! But the thing is, when you try to watch old games, you run into the fact they’re one, hard to find, two, generally of terrible video quality.

…Also the reviewer on Amazon who bitches because they think it should include the 4 OT Easter Epic should be soundly donkeypunched. Look, buddy, we all signed up for a disproportionate amount of disappointment as Caps fans, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be memorialized on a DVD. With that said, here are the games I love to rewatch or remember or I just think they’re neat. I’ll start with the DVD games because that’s convenient, and then go on with some other ones I like

Here’s what the DVD includes. All of these are good games to watch.

4/16/1988 - Dale Hunter scores the series’ winner in overtime as the Caps beat the Philadelphia Flyers 5-4 to win Game 7 of the Patrick Division semi-final. This was the one they used in that “History will” series of NHL commercials because we have so few good playoff highlights.

4/17/1996 - In the Eastern Conference quarter-final against the Pittsburgh Penguins, the team rallies from a three-goal deficit to win 6-4.

6/4/1998 - Joe Juneau scores the overtime winner in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals, and the Caps go onto their first (and only) Stanley Cup appearance.

10/5/2005 - Ovechkin’s first NHL game. He scores two goals, hits a dude so hard the glass pane falls out, and Caps beat Columbus Blue Jackets 3-2.

11/23/2007 - First Bruce Boudreau coaching game, an overtime win against Philadelphia. Ah, Bruce.

1/31/2008 - Ovechkin’s (first) four goal game against the Habs, where he broke his nose (again) and won the game in OT.

4/5/2008 - Caps win 3-1 against the Florida Panthers to gain their first playoff appearance in five years, after having to win 11 of 12 down the stretch and pushing to the last day.

4/11/2008 - Ovechkin’s first NHL playoff game, with him leading the team to a come-from-behind win over Philadelphia.

4/28/2009 - Russian legend Sergei Fedorov, in his first and last season with the Caps, provides the game-winning goal in Game 7 against the New York Rangers, leading the Caps to win 2-1 in the Eastern Conference quarterfinals. God, that goal. (Also, don’t look now, but that was a Game 7 the Caps won.)

5/4/2009 - The Ovechkin-Crosby dueling hat tricks playoff game with the Caps winning 4-3. (This was also where Crosby complained about hats being thrown on the ice. Like, there are many other reasons he’s never going to be on my Christmas card list, but this was him at some of his whiniest and pettiest, and when I think of reasons why I don’t care for the dude, this one tends to flash across my mind. Because I am also petty. EXCELSIOR.)

OTHER PLAYOFF GAMES.

HEY YES I KNOW EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF US ABOUT THE PLAYOFFS WELL HERE ARE SOME PLAYOFFS GAMES YOU CAN WATCH AND ENJOY.

4/20/2011 - Game four of the series with the New York Rangers. Yeah, yeah, the Caps have had their share of OT pain with the Rangers. But this comes from one of the shorter playoff series the Caps enjoyed in the Ovechkin era, and hey look, it’s a double OT WIN, which came about after the Caps had fallen behind 3-0 in the game, and then forced OT and won it on what was described as a “freaky sort of development play”. Marian Gaborik, in an attempt to clear the puck, accidentally yanked it away from Lundqvist and passed it directly to Jason Chimera, who promptly put it back in the net, and then skated the length of the ice in basically two seconds while his teammates tried to catch him for hugs. (Game 5 of that series was also pretty good because it’s one of the few times where the Caps were closing out a series and never looked worried during it. Just a nice solid win.)

4/25/2012 - Game Seven of the series with the Boston Bruins. Yeah, yeah, the Caps and Game 7′s. HERE’S ONE THAT WE ACTUALLY WON. This series was so fucking close and insane and it was the NHL playoff debut of a young Braden Holtby who came storming up from the AHL after both Tomas Vokoun and Michal Neuvirth went down to freak injury and went on to become the Bruins’s worst nightmare. (If you love Braden Holtby, you should remember that ex-Cap then-Panther Marco Sturm falling on Michal Neuvirth is what propelled Holtby into the playoffs out of necessity, and therefore most Caps fans probably owe him a drink.) And of course, this was the game of Joel Ward’s OT winner, with a helping of Mike Knuble’s gigantic ass in Tim Thomas’s face, (and I’m frankly still amazed the Caps didn’t get boned with a GI call on it), and man do I love me some Joel Ward.

4/27/2015 - Game Seven of the series with the Islanders. ANOTHER GOOD OUTCOME GAME SEVEN. This game seven on the other hand wasn’t as close (though every Caps fan was puckered and freaking during it) and the Caps were dominating. Joel Ward scored first for the Caps, and they outshot New York and were handling the Isles with ease, only to have everyone almost lose their shit when Holtby made a mistake and let Nielson tie. However, just as the Bruins series was Holtby’s debut party, the Isles series was Evgeny Kuznetsov’s Big Show. He scored with just over seven minutes left in the game on Halak, the goalie who’d tortured the Caps in 2010, and it was another successful Game 7 and series win. Since we don’t have a ton of those, enjoy it.

4/18/2016 - Game Three of the series with the Flyers. This was the, uh, Bracelet Game. But it was also a game where the Caps scored five goddamn powerplay goals to win 6-1 and took a 3-0 series lead for the first time in– well, ever. (At least in the seven game series era.) This is why it narrowly beats out Game Two, which had the Steve Mason “OH NO” goal given up to Jason Chimera.

4/19/2017 - I feel like I should include a Leafs playoff series game here from 2017 for completeness sake. Uh. Hmm. Let’s go with Game Four, since it had Tom Wilson saving a goal, then going down ice to score a goal, and was high-scoring, super-close, and barely squeaked away from going to OT.

OTHER REGULAR SEASON GAMES

1/1/2011, 1/1/2015 - Both Winter Classics. CAPS ARE UNDEFEATED IN OUTDOOR GAMES. Plus, they both serve as a good excuse to rewatch the HBO 24/7 and Epix Road to the Winter Classic specials.

2/7/2010 - Snowvechkin. Ovi had a hat trick against the Pens, the Caps had to come from behind, there was bizarre reffing, and Caps won. This was all the more impressive because DC was essentially under two feet of snow at this point and for the intrepid souls who basically walked into the city on foot to see the game, they got a real gem.

2/6/2011 - The Caps shut out the Pens 3-0 on Superbowl Sunday, but more dramatically, shaved ape on skates and career injury-causing cockmonger Matt Cooke tried to go knee on knee with Alex Ovechkin in the process and Nicklas Backstrom did his best to punch everliving shit out of him for doing it. It’s great seeing Backstrom get in Cooke’s face and throw hands afterthe shot on Ovechkin. If “ice in his veins and murder in his eyes” Backstrom is that visibly emotional,then somebody done done somebody wrong.

3/7/2011 - Holtby comes on in relief of Neuvirth in a game against the Bolts, when Neuvirth takes a shot off the mask and gets a sliver of metal in his eye. He held the Caps in it, and went on to help get the shootout win, 2-1. This was the very beginning of his career, and he’d go on to start the post-season against the Bruins and really blossom.

1/24/2012: Matty Perreault tricks the Bruins. This was an interesting game because it was one of the games Ovechkin was suspended for, after the NHL decided to make an example out of him and suspend him for a hit on Michalek but still require him to go to the ASG. Ovechkin not eager to play the NHL game of cookie-cutter villain / showdog to trot out and make money (boy, if you ever want to get an earful of rant, start me off on that particular suspension because I will not shut up about it, ever) and withdrew from the ASG. With Ovechkin out for suspension and Nicklas Backstrom concussed by noted shitstain Rene Bourque, and Mike Green also injured, it wasn’t looking good– until diminutive hero Matty P stepped up (and later got a shaving cream pie, courtesy of his proud captain who essentially rushed out of the press box in his suit and down to the ice to do it) to win the damn game with his hatty.

Fun fact with this game: Perreault somehow managed to high-stick Chara in the face during this game.Ponder that one for a minute. One might wonder how Perreault could even high-stick someone who routinely gets calls from Logan Airport to please move his head sothe planes can take off, without sneaking a ladder onto the ice or something.

2/24/2012 - Caps beat Habs 4-1. There’s an Ovechkin pretty goal in this one, but this real thing I remember is that Mike Green was itching to get back at Rene Bourque for concussing Backstrom, and boy did he. Green was playing Bourque because of the puck coming his waynear the net, but as soon as he saw the puck was past and out of danger, heturned his full attention to absolutely nailing Bourque and shoving him face-first into the goal-side. It was awesome.“Oh, did I fling you into the goal post? My bad, man.”

3/29/2012 - Matt Hendricks wins the shootout for Washington 3-2 and completely turns Tim Thomas inside out. At that point, you expected players like PKane or Datsyuk or Oshie to make beautiful, awe-inspiring SO moves.Matt Hendricks? Well, that’s a secret Caps fans knew and reveled in, and then welaughed at the other teams when they went, “Matt Hendricks, seriously? That’swho you're—oh, fuck. Fuck! fuuuuuuck! Where the fuck did that come from?!”

4/16/2013 - Ovechkin nearly tears Jay McClement’s head off for boarding Backstrom. This was a Caps 5-1 win over Toronto, and you’ve probably seen the clip in question. It was encouraging to see how much the team rushed to start a line brawl for Nicky’s sake. Backstrom, it should be noted, stood right back up and threw himself after the guy throwing himself at Ovi, so it went both ways.

12/10/2013 - I could describe all of Ovi’s four goal games, but this one against the Bolts, a 6-5 shootout win, was super dramatic and his first since 2008, a five year span. I’m just going to quote the RMNB recap of it: First, Mike Green committed a penalty and the Lightningscored. Then, Mike Green committed a penalty and the Lightning scored. Then, ina Shyamalany plot twist, Mike Green was on-ice when the Lightning scored. Holtbywas like, “Sick of you, Mike,” and he peaced out; Grubauer in. AlexOvechkin put the team on the board with an instant-score following a faceoff.Okay, buckle up. Here we go.

Troy Brouwer proved unable, so Nick Backstrom finished off the powerplay for him. Then, Alex Ovechkin happened. After Richard Panik earned a 5-minute major for boarding Karl Alzner, the Russian machine made Tampa pay. Twice. First, he laid up a cross-ice pass from Marcus Johansson, then he took a one-timer from Green to tie the game. Hats rained down. Another three-goal second period for the Washington Capitals.

Ondrej Palat put the Bolts back up in the third, taking advantage of some observational Capitals defense, but the Caps weren’t done. With the Caps net empty, Alex Ovechkin struck again, scoring his 4th goal of the night. HIS FOURTH FOARTH GOAL OF THE NIGHT.

12/13/2014 - Backstrom’s natural hat trick against the Lightning. He’s just so silky smooth.

10/23/2015 - Evgeny Kuznetsov’s hat trick and five point night against the Edmonton Oilers.

11/16/2016 - Nicklas Backstrom has another 5 five point night as the Caps skull the Penguins 7-1. Fun fact: At that point in time, Backstrom had had five five-point games, one more than Ovechkin, equaling Crosby, and one less than Malkin. And… no All Star Game appearances or Selkes, because the NHL is stupid.

If you want to know his other five point games up until then, they were:

11/16/2016 against Pittsburgh Penguins – 2 goals, 3 assists12/10/2013 against Tampa Bay Lightning – 1 goal, 4 assists02/04/2010 against New York Rangers – 1 goal, 4 assists12/05/2009 against Philadelphia Flyers – 1 goal, 4 assists11/15/2008 against New Jersey Devils – 1 goal, 4 assists

1/7/2017 - Backstrom’s 500th assist, on a TJ Oshie goal. It’s harder to pick out favorite Backstrom games because his game is so quiet and focused on operating in the shadows. Usually he’s having some kind of tremendous game that people focus on the dudes scoring the goals off the magical moves he’s making.

1/22/2017 - Ovechkin’s 1000th point. 35 seconds in, against the Pens. FUN FACT I WAS THERE FOR THIS ONE. I have a good friend from out of town who is a Pens fan (I’m as shocked as you), and for the past couple years she’s come to town from across the country when the Caps play the Pens, and my record with her was ABYSMAL. Until this game, I had never seen the Caps win in person at Verizon while she was there, but then this one happened, and she very kindly didn’t shove me over the ledge of the nosebleeds to my death, as she would have probably been in full rights to do after all the hooting and capering I was doing.

LOSSES? UH….

I don’t have a lot of recs for Caps losses because, well, I’m not a masochist. But if you must, I would recommend two particular ones first because the fights were bonkers.

11/21/1998 - Caps vs. Bruins. These is notable because of the goalie fight. Most notably, the one that’s been called “The Dance” between Byron Dafoe and Olie Kolzig, since– well, you’ll know it when you see it. The backstory is, Dafoe and Kolzig were close friends– best men at each other’s weddings, even. And when the Bruins and Caps threw down in their line brawl, Dafoe grabbed Dale Hunter (Dale Hunter having been just momentarily pried out from the dogpile and had just been separated from Ken Belanger) and Kolzig came down the ice to get in on the action. However, Kolzig decided to fight Ken Belanger (since the refs had turned around to deal with Dale Hunter) which was… uh, probably not a good idea.

Dafoe and Hunter had simultaneous “Ho-shit, son,” realizations, immediately stopped fighting each other, and flung themselves at Kolzig and Belanger respectively. Dafoe grabbed Kolzig and basically waltzed him away from Belanger before he could get his head smashed in, and Hunter went back to fighting Belanger. Kolzig and Dafoe pulled each other’s jerseys off while Kolzig seemed torn between trying to yell at Dafoe for yanking him out of the fight and laughing at his friend. Everyone on the ice got tossed and the Caps lost 5-4 in OT.

1/12/2010 - Caps vs. Bolts. You actually don’t really have to watch this whole game, which was a 7-4 loss. You just need to watch Steve Downie and Alex Ovechkin drop the gloves and prepare to fight, only to have Matt Bradley come streaking in at the last second and literally steal the fight out of Ovechkin’s hands. Dan Steinberg did a great write-up of it for the Sportsbog. It’‘s kind of hilarious because, well, Ovi and Downie were both completely taken by surprise. If you catch any of the later analyst clips, you can see Bradley watching Ovi and Downie yell at each in the box, keeping an eye on the unfolding events like a hawk, screaming urgently at Eric Fehr to get the hell off the ice so he can get on without getting the instigator, and then just making a direct beeline for the fight so he can get in front of Ovi and punch Downie in the face.

12/16/2014 - The never ending fucking shoot out with the Panthers. Ugh. I refuse to even google this to find highlights. WE WENT THROUGH THE ENTIRE GODDAMN ROSTER. EVEN BROOKS FUCKING ORPIK SCORED. ON A TRIPLE DEKE. I still refuse to believe the entire thing wasn’t a fever dream from the mind of Roberto Luongo while passed out on the can. It did at least give us the notable mic’d up quote of “Coach Korn has a pitched tent in the stands right now,” though.

WAIT IT’S BAD LUCK TO END ON A LOSS, LET’S END WITH SOME MORE WINS.

1/08/2016 - This game had everything I say, in my best breathy Stefon voice. A quick two goal lead for the Caps. Giving up three goals to fall behind. Nicklas Backstrom slamming in a loose puck with less than ten seconds left to tie it. OT madness. Nate Schmidt and his skate helping Holtby save an almost slam dunk Ranger goal off the faceoff in OT. Ovechkin grabbing the saved puck and going end to end to score in OT. Ovechkin falling on his face. Happy, huggy chaos by the Caps on Madison Square Garden ice. Ovi one away from 500 goals…

1/10/2016 - Ovechkin’s 500th. This might be my favorite game (for now…), not because it was a blowout win, not because Ovechkin actually had two in this game, one of which involved dangling Erik Karlsson’s pants off, but watching the team come to celebrate with him, seeing how much they loved him and were overjoyed for him and had actually planned it out in advance without his knowledge… that’s just something special. It was just a really, really good moment that very little can spoil for me, no matter what.

[art-of-manliness]

Podcast #382: The Secrets of Greater Endurance

How long can a human run without stopping? What’s the most weight a human can deadlift? Will someone ever run a mile in less than three minutes and thirty seconds? My guest explores these questions in his latest book, and along the way uncovers insights into all the factors that go into pushing the limits of human athletic performance. His name is Alex Hutchinson and he’s the author of Endure: Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance.  Today on the show, Alex and I discuss the history of the science of human performance and the three competing theories about how to measure and improve it. Alex first explains the interplay between physiology and psychology when it comes to humans pushing themselves. We then spend the rest of the conversation discussing factors that have an influence on our performance including pain, thirst, muscle strength, diet, and mental fatigue. Alex finally shares insights from the latest research on how you can manipulate these factors to run faster and longer and lift heavier weights.  Show Highlights * The competing theories that try to determine the limits of human performance  * What is VO2 max? Does it determine your physical limits? * Why isn’t VO2 max held in the same regard as it was 1o or 20 years ago? * The central governor theory, and the brain science behind endurance  * How great coaches help you build your endurance  * Samuele Marcora’s theory of human endurance * Why perceived effort has such an affect on our performance   * How mental fatigue impacts your physical performance  * Can you train yourself to ignore pain? Can you separate that pain from your perceived effort? * How should you fuel yourself for optimal performance?  * Does high-fat/low-carb diet work? What happened to carbo-loading? * The hydration debate — what does the science really say? * What can we do to train our brains to endure longer and push the limits of our own physical performance? * Why you should embrace training when you’re mentally tired  Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast * The Race to Break the 4-Minute Mile * How Bad Do You Want It? * VO2 max  * Tim Noakes * Central governor theory * Dig Deep: You’re Stronger Than You Think * The RPE Scale  * Embrace the Grind * Cold pressor test * The Ultimate Glossary of Strength and Conditioning Terms * The marshmallow test * The Power and Pleasure of Delayed Gratification Connect With Alex  Alex on Twitter Alex’s website Alex’s Sweat Science column Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!) Listen to the episode on a separate page. Download this episode. Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice. Podcast Sponsors Creative Audio Lab. For any of your audio editing needs — be it a podcast, film, or album — use the same folks I use to make our AoM podcast sound great. Visit creativeaudiolab.com and tell ’em Brett sent you.  The Great Courses Plus. Better yourself this year by learning new things. I’m doing that by watching and listening to ​The Great Courses Plus. Get a free trial by visiting thegreatcoursesplus.com/manliness. Saxx Underwear. Everything you didn’t know you needed in a pair of underwear. Includes the patented “BallPark Pouch.” My favorite pair is the Kinetic. Gets yours today at saxxunderwear.com.  Click here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors. Recorded with ClearCast.io. Read the Transcript Coming soon! The post Podcast #382: The Secrets of Greater Endurance appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/QHS8YM

[julianottheastrologer]

Thank you dear @sacerdotessa, I feel happy with your tag.

Your sun sign: how would you describe yourself in three words?

Onion, Pitaya, Mint. ( Aqua Sun)

Your moon sign: you have the night to yourself, what are you doing?

In a bathtub with wine/champagne and music. (Gemini Moon)

Your rising sign: what do people say about you?

I'm cold, distant, intelligent and resolve any obstacle. (Cap Rising)

Your midheaven: what is your dream job?

sell a wide range of courses of witchcraft and make my tarot and oracles consultation worth a diamond. (Libra MC)

Your mercury sign: what makes you anxious?

Ask other peoples for anything. (Aqua Mercury)

Your Venus sign: what’s your favorite color?

Pink and baby colors. (Aqua Venus)

Your mars signs: what is your biggest pet peeve?

When I ask for do something to me and they don't do it. People who half read things, understand nothing, and go to comment. (Scorpio Mars)

Sign in your 4th house: what does your dream home look like?

A high floor apartment with garden space and a huge bedroom (Aries)

Sign in your 5th house: what are your hobbies?

Work... read oracles (that is also work), read manga and manhwa, play video game, draw, and sometimes I watch some anime. (Taurus)

Sign in your 6th house: do you have any routines? (Something you do everyday)

Wake up, work and talk with my deities. (Gemini)

Sign in your 7th: what sign is your significant other? If you’re not dating anyone use your most recent ex’s sign

I have a ex... but he isn't significant, sorry. (Cancer)

Sign in your 9th: if you could travel anywhere right now where would you go and why?

10 years in the future! But okay... Can be at Monarch Butterfly Sanctuary Ecological Reserve at Mexico when the butterflies awaken. Or in a real June celebration in the Brazilian Northeast. Because are beautiful and fun places. (Virgo)

Sign in your 11th house: what’s a cause you care deeply about?

Health issues, here a lot of kids go to school just for eat, we have water rotation, so one day with water and others two without. A lot of people here blame the education... but if you kid go to school just for eat how they can learn? (Scorpio)

House moon is in: describe your happy place

A private island. (5th really close to 6th)

House mercury is in: what’s your favorite book?

Tim Burton - The melancholy death of oyster boy (1st)

House Venus is in: what do you find attractive / are you looking for in a mate?

A person who has a body bigger than mine, has a serious expression but when it looks at me it softness, have a mature vibe. (2nd)

House mars is in: what are your kinks / fetishes/ turn ons?

Maybe later, I'm a secretive person in this area. (10th)

House Jupiter is in: where/how do you need to improve your life?

I need more networking... I hate networking ..., a routine for do my task and post frequently and post more in my business blog... I need my money! And health issues, but this area is a quite more difficult. (3th)

House Saturn is in: something your dad or father figure taught you (could be an uncle, a brother, a family friend, a teacher, a coach, etc)

"Is a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll"; "Every history has a good ending, if its not good, is don't have ended"; "Every problem have a solution, if there's no solutions that means there's wasn't any problem". (4th)

House Neptune is in: what do you daydream about?

Being billionaire, know for my excellent work and my soulmate. (1st)

House pluto is in: where do you feel powerless? What’s scares you?

My financial life and how to sell to others. My family has been through a few hard times in life and everyone thought we had a comfortable life. Now I know what I need to do to keep from going through this and finally give my family a little whisper, but I'm afraid of failing. (11th)

21 questions: zodiac edition

Copy and repost this with your placements and answers✨

Answer the questions before adding in your chart placements to keep it genuine!

Your sun sign: how would you describe yourself in three words?

Your moon sign: you have the night to yourself, what are you doing?

Your rising sign: what do people say about you?

Your midheaven: what is your dream job?

Your mercury sign: what makes you anxious?

Your Venus sign: what’s your favorite color?

Your mars signs: what is your biggest pet peeve?

Sign in your 4th house: what does your dream home look like?

Sign in your 5th house: what are your hobbies?

Sign in your 6th house: do you have any routines? (Something you do everyday)

Sign in your 7th: what sign is your significant other? If you’re not dating anyone use your most recent ex’s sign

Sign in your 9th: if you could travel anywhere right now where would you go and why?

Sign in your 11th house: what’s a cause you care deeply about?

House moon is in: describe your happy place

House mercury is in: what’s your favorite book?

House Venus is in: what do you find attractive / are you looking for in a mate?

House mars is in: what are your kinks / fetishes/ turn ons?

House Jupiter is in: where/how do you need to improve your life?

House Saturn is in: something your dad or father figure taught you (could be an uncle, a brother, a family friend, a teacher, a coach, etc)

House Neptune is in: what do you daydream about?

House pluto is in: where do you feel powerless? What’s scares you?

[allenmendezsr]

Play Worship Guitar

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/play-worship-guitar/

Play Worship Guitar

 Buy Now

    Hi, I’m Aaron Anastasi,

I am a musician and worship leader who lives in beautiful sunny Southern California.

Since I began leading worship almost 20 years ago I have had countless numbers of people approach me asking if I would teach them guitar and more precisely worship songs.

It seemed that everyone asking me to teach them just wanted to learn so they could learn the songs that I was playing during church or at youth group.

At first I was a little hesitant because I’m not a traditional music teacher…I can barely read a lick of music!

So I sat down and thought, “how can I teach someone to play guitar in the most practical way so that they can start playing songs as soon as possible?”

Eventually I realized that I had a knack for teaching because all of my students were picking up the guitar really quickly and within just a couple weeks were playing worship songs along with me!

After teaching privately for awhile, a light bulb went on in my head and I thought why not use the power of the internet to teach all of these people my system of learning guitar and worship songs.

A Truly Step-By-Step Guitar Learning System For Aspiring Christian Guitarists…

The one thing that I spent a lot of time developing was the actual system that I was teaching people so that they were getting the most out of their time.

My goal was to create a system that speeds up the learning process so you see immediate results

I didn’t want anyone to have to sit in their room practicing boring scales for 5 hours a day.

Because most of my students want to start playing actual worship songs as soon as possible rather than practicing guitar scales all day long.

Rather than having to put your head in a book and memorize music theory I wanted everyone I taught to be able to play a song within a day or two of picking up the guitar.

Easily Learn Guitar And Worship Songs With Follow-Along Video Lessons

If you have ever tried to learn a worship song on your own, you know it can be frustrating.

What chords do I play?

How do I strum the guitar and keep good rhythm?

How do I hold the chords?

How do I do those cool little guitar tricks that David Crowder or Tim Hughes or Martin Smith do? 

Almost every guitar player I know got started playing guitar so they could play songs and I’m sure you are the same way…so why do most guitar learning programs take all the fun out and just make you practice scales all day?

Since I was teaching all of my students to play all the songs I was playing during worship at church I eventually decided to film my teaching sessions so that everyone could learn all of these songs…and learn worship songs on your own time right from home!

Play Worship Guitar gives you absolute everything you will ever need to start learning guitar and to play popular worship songs by your favorite Christian artists…exactly how I play them at my own church where I lead worship!

The great thing about Play Worship Guitar is that it is designed with the student in mind.

With a lot of guitar courses, or dvds, or even with private teachers you are required to practice for at least an hour a day and there is sometimes a lot of pressure to go at the pace of your teacher instead of your own pace.

With Play Worship Guitar, whether you practice 5 minutes a day or 2 hours is totally up to you because you can go at your own pace.

You have access to all of the videos and training 24 hours a day…7 days a week…from any computer.

I am sure you would rather spend your time with your friends or family than doing guitar exercises all day and night…I know I would…

Play Worship Guitar gives you everything you’ll ever need to start learning guitar, and show you exactly how to play songs by your favorite Christian artists. You don’t need any knowledge of how to play the guitar at all. This course works for everyone of all ages and is perfect for absolute beginners.

Learn the ins and outs of the guitar and all the parts of the guitar…what to do and why each is important

How to hold the pick, hold the guitar, and posture…developing proper fundamentals will get you playing guitar faster and with less frustration

Warmup Exercises that will help you loosen up your muscles and play longer without fatigue and help your solo hand learn to play twice as fast.

Learn Beginner Chords…these are the backbone of every song you will ever play. Watch and play along with me as I teach you how to hold each chord properly

Muscle memory exercises to skyrocket your ability to play and recall chords with ease

Chord changing exercises will ensure that you never get stuck trying to get your fingers to go where you want them to…these step-by-step exercises will make chord changes simple

Bust out rhythm guitar riffs, easily perform walks and add unique flair to your chords…no need to practice endless hours before enjoying the “best parts” of playing

Explode over the learning curve with my “cheat chords” system…start playing in minutes rather than days or weeks

Learn dynamic strumming patterns that will have you sounding like a seasoned guitar player almost instantly

Master barre chords…with these chords you can literally play all over the guitar neck

Dynamic sliding, hammer ons, pull offs…these techniques will give your playing a fresh vibe and make songs come alive

Guitar accuracy exercises designed to develop you into a more precise and skillful guitarist in a fraction of the time

New Chord Voicings that will allow you to effortlessly cruise up and down the guitar neck. Don’t get stuck with a stale repetitive sound.

Dynamic Guitar Techniques that you can use to transform any song or chord progression from dull to exciting and impressive.

Dictate The Mood You Convey By the Chord You Play allowing you to guide your playing (and audience) in the emotional direction you want to go.

Find Any Note On The Guitar with a simple system that will keep you from having to waste days trying to memorize every note on the guitar neck.

Discover Octaves and how you can apply them to any song…and even use them to learn how to play any song.

Learn Power Chords and how you can combine them with open chords to “break open” the song and make it 10 times easier to play any song.

Guitar Accuracy Exercises designed to develop you into a more precise and skillful guitarist in a fraction of the time.

Fingerpicking patterns so that you can make any chord or song sound beautiful with easy to follow fingerpicking lessons.

My goal for you with the Play Worship Guitar system is to get you playing guitar as fast as possible so that you can begin playing worship songs quickly.  You will get new worship song video lessons every month.

Here’s just some of the songs you will learn inside the Play Worship Guitar member’s area:

I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever – Martin Smith

Here I Am To Worship – Tim Hughes

One Thing Remains – Jesus Culture

Nothing Holding Me Back – Bryan and Katie Torwalt

Everlasting God – Brenton Brown and Ken Riley

Our God – Chris Tomlin

Hungry – Kathryn Scott

We Are Hungry – Brad Kilman

Bones – Hillsong United

Burning Ones – Jesus Culture

I Am Set Free – All Sons and Daughters

Plus brand new songs every month

Everything in Play Worship Guitar is based on a building block approach.

Each lesson builds off the one before so that you know exactly what to do and when to do it.

No more getting frustrating trying to learn…simply watch and play!

 If you follow along with the system that I have created I am 99% sure that you will have a smooth learning process and be playing guitar in no time because of my unique muscle memory exercises…

However, I know that everyone can get stuck at one point or another and that is why I have an open door policy to myself and my support team.

As a Play Worship Guitar member you have FREE and UNLIMITED access to me and my support team so that if  you ever need any help getting back on the right track all you have to do is shoot me an email.  And either myself or one of my guitar coaches will give you a guiding hand to get you back on track promptly…

I take pride in making sure every single member is completely happy and satisfied…

You will never be lost.

Complete A to Z, step-by-step guitar learning system…

Learn how to play guitar from a tried and true Christian worship leader with over 20 years of experience

Get my Songwriting Bootcamp…this is a 5 part video series where I teach you how to write an effective worship song.

New worship song lessons every month…you will learn new songs all the time so you constantly have a new and fresh worship song to learn

Downloadable chord charts for every song

2 camera video lessons…each lesson uses two cameras so you can see up close exactly how to play every lesson

Unlimited access to my support team…so you will never be stuck and frustrated.  Help is just a click away…

24/7 access…you can access Play Worship Guitar any time of day and learn on your own schedule

Works on any computer…Play Worship Guitar will work on any computer with internet access

iPhone and iPad compatible…every video is compatible to play on any device

100% money-back guarantee…you get my 100% guarantee that you will learn guitar and love this course! If not I’ll give you all of your money back plus let you keep the entire program for free…

Plus I’ve Got 6 Bonuses That I Want To Throw In…If You Get Started Today

Bonus #1

Online Chord and Scale Generator…find any chord and scale with ease (a $27 value)

Bonus #2

Guitar Tuner…so you can get in tune and stay in tune (a $17.95 value)

Bonus #3

Online Metronome…a great tool to help you with your rhythm (a $27 value)

Bonus #4

The Play Worship Guitar Songwriting Bootcamp…a 5 part video series that teaches you how to craft creative lyrics and catchy melodies (a $37 value)

Bonus #5

The Play Worship Guitar Guide To Leading Worship…I’ll teach you how to lead worship based on my own experience and knowledge (a $37 value)

Bonus #6

The Play Worship Guitar Daily Devotional with 365 Days of short devotionals.  While I was studying Theology at Princeton Theological Seminary I put together this 365 daily devotional as a way to help people stay in the Word and learn valuable insights.  It only takes a few minutes a day but they could be the most valuable minutes of your day.

Over $175 worth of bonuses are yours free when you order “Play Worship Guitar” today…yours to keep no matter what.

“I had stopped playing guitar until I crossed this site and now I can’t put it down!”

“Thanks for all your help! I love this site as I had stopped playing guitar until I crossed this site and now I can’t put it down! Thanks again!”

“

Craig Eiland

“Now I am able to learn at learn at my own pace.”

“Thank you for the website, I have been wanting to play for years but have had so many hiccups. Now I am able to learn at my own pace. Also I have written lots of lyrics and thanks to your site I can write and play music 🙂 Godbless ya guys heaps!”

“

Jen

“For the first time things have clicked!”

“I signed up on August 13th…I love it, and it has been very helpful and informative. As a drummer, singer, and music theory student, this by far has been the most user friendly and straight forward approach I have ever seen.

I have been messing with guitar for the past 5 years and have grown quite frustrated with learning everything by the book.

So thank you, for the first time things have clicked and I am ready to start playing a few songs!”

“

Ray Reimer Eagle Point, Oregon

“I have already learned one song! Whoo hoooo! Thanks again!”

“Thank you for replying so quickly to all my emails, I am very excited about this program considering I have already learned one song! Whoo hoooo! Thanks again!”

“

Tiffany Lauren

A Play Worship Guitar membership comes with a 60 day money back guarantee if you are not completely satisfied (or for any reason) and you may cancel at any time thereafter as well.

Plus, if you feel like I have not given you your money’s worth at any point, just send me an email and let me know why (so I can keep improving this site) and I will keep teaching you for free.  You can still cancel at any time without having to email me if you just need to cancel for any other reason.

We have put together a simple and risk free “try first, decide later” 21 day trial for you.  Just so you can see for yourself how much this course will help you learn guitar and have fun playing worship songs you can get started today for just $1…no joke!

You get full access to the entire course for 21 days.

If you decide not to cancel after those 21 days you will continue getting great guitar lessons, worship song lessons, and more for just $17 a month (cancel anytime).

A tiny investment for a skill you will keep your entire life.

Get Started Today For Just $1

Your initial charge will be $1.00. Then in 21 days you will then be charged $17 a month until cancellation ( cancel anytime)

I look forward to hearing how your guitar playing is progressing.

I’ll see you on the other side!

–  Aaron Anastasi

P.S. I want to encourage you to finally live your dreams of playing guitar…there are plenty of people just like you who are doing this…

P.P.S. Unsure? Undecided? No worries. Remember, I’m taking ALL THE RISK here because you’re covered from day one by my 60-day 100% risk-free guarantee…

[ibmiller]

Steph meta, a large chunk of it

(This essay was originally going to be a reblog of @secretlystephaniebrown’s post  but the tale, as they say, grew in the telling, so I’ve posted it here instead). In my experience, there are general trends among fans whose favorite character is Steph. Many of these trends flow from which version of Steph is normative to your experience of her history. There are those who have loved Steph since her first appearance in Detective Comics and through Dixon’s 100 issues of Robin. A strong contingent loves Jon Lewis’s quiet, weird run on Robin as “peak Steph” (you can always spot these fans because they love mashed potatoes and eggplant). And, of course, there is my own subsect - those who truly fell in love with her as Batgirl.

I’d been aware of Steph for some time. I remember reading about her brave handling of her pregnancy in the library’s copy of the DC character guide in the early 2000s. Batgirl #27 gave me a fairly negative opinion of her as a whiner (a large part of why I really dislike that comic after going back and reading all of Steph’s history, despite the lovely Phil Noto art). And then I read Steph’s tragic, idiotic death and aftermath as the trades of War Games and War Crimes came out in Books-a-Million while I was at university, far from home. Years passed. I embraced the Birds of Prey under Gail Simone (thanks again to my local library), caught the mentions of Steph’s death in Dinah’s inner monologues. I was aware of Steph’s return in the back of my head - I distinctly remember reading the Robin/Spoiler Special in the comic store when it came out, and then the following issues where Steph struggled with the fallout of Batman RIP.

When I picked up the first issue of Batgirl, and read that Steph was taking on the cowl, I felt a real but still muted sense of “finally, she’s arrived.” As the series went along, and I started following it more and more closely, I was hooked. Steph was now my very favorite character - so much so that when the new 52 hit, erasing Steph from existence with no explanation for three long and bitter years, I pretty much left most of comics fandom completely, only to return along with Steph when Batman Eternal hit the stands.

Obviously, someone like me, who came to Steph’s early appearances in Robin at first piecemeal, and then in a burst, but only after her zenith in her own solo series, will have a very different idea of what Steph’s normative traits are than someone whose Steph was set by Dixon or Lewis. Bryan Q. Miller is (or at least was at that stage in his career, as his Smallville episodes and comics show) very much in the cheerful, heartfelt storytelling mode, whereas Dixon drew much more from the noir tradition, and Lewis from a strange blend of YA and new weird-esque scifi. I especially

I have great respect for Steph fans who were privileged to meet her early. Who loved her from the start, grew up alongside her. But just like fans are rightly offended when instead of being welcomed, their enthusiasm is questioned or mocked because it is nascent and not full grown, I don’t think fans like myself, who see Steph’s career as a trajectory leading to Batgirl, are lesser than those who see her golden age at a different spot - or vice versa. What’s more, to say that Steph’s run as Batgirl strips her of all that makes her interesting rubs me really wrong - to say that the character I fell in love with is uninteresting just doesn’t square with my experience. Though Steph has a great supporting cast, with Babs, Wendy, and Detective Gage, and fantastic guest roles in Damian, Klarion, and Squire, unlike many solo series, Steph is definitely the most engaging figure in her own series.

(Side note: There are plenty of critics and fans who make comments like, “I wish Black Mask could meet Steph again.” This essay is not for them. If you didn’t like Steph in the past, and don’t like her now, the conversation I would have with you would be completely different. And likely very short.)

The most consistent theme I see with those who dispute Steph’s run as Batgirl as being normative for her character is that Steph has lost her anger that was so prominent in her early appearances. To some extent, there is justice in this claim. Steph is a cheery, upbeat, optimistic character as Batgirl, prefiguring later successes like Kamala Khan, and she doesn’t have nearly as many prominent displays of the kind of rage that led her to almost kill her father, or later visit him in prison, dolled up to the nines just to beat the ever living daylights out of him. However, my response to this claim is twofold: 1) I do not think that Steph is an angry person, but rather a person in very rough circumstances, who had a temper, but was generally a cheerful and upbeat person; 2) to say that Steph’s anger NEVER shows up in Batgirl is simply factually incorrect. To take these in reverse order (since the second is a lesser claim that hinges upon the assumption that Steph’s anger is fundamental to her character rather than largely circumstantial):

As Batgirl, Steph expresses varying levels of anger towards four people - Damian, Tim, Bruce, and Cluemaster. Though she does eventually come to a warmer relationship with the first three, she still expresses very distinct and sharp anger with all three of them. Her “HATE” as she storms away from Damian may be played for comedy, but it’s consistent with the sheer level of animosity and frustration she expresses for the first three issues in which they work together. Her first meeting with Tim in the crossover “Collision” is marked by very harsh words on both sides, and when Christopher Yost takes over the writing in that storyline, she gives Tim a well-deserved piece of her mind for his injuries going back many months. As for Bruce - we all know and love that fantastic slap. However, the key moment of narration of the issue is “Bruce never gave me a fair shot,” overlaying an image of Steph being fired as Robin. Though Steph is willing to forgive Bruce, her anger remains (hinted at again in Batgirl #22, when the slap is referenced again) part of that relationship.

Lastly, of course, there’s the final confrontation with Cluemaster. And here’s where the claim that Steph’s anger is nowhere present in her time as Batgirl really baffles me. Steph’s hostility to her father remains total and intense from beginning to end, in expression and violence. She even finds her cheerful “I know, right” catchphrase poisoned by hearing her father use it. Her last line to her father, while brave and upbeat, as Steph generally is during her time as Batgirl, is a wonderful and completely knowing callback to her original motivation for becoming a hero - “So sorry to SPOIL your fun.” It’s a final triumph, harnessing the rage which once impelled her to choke him with a chain, or beat him in a cell, and now drives her to capture him with her gooperang.

With all four of these key points in Steph’s Batgirl run forming the basis for my minor counterargument, I do acknowledge that Steph is a significantly less angry person as Batgirl than her early time in Detective Comics or Robin. That’s probably in large part because Bryan Q. Miller just isn’t a writer who digs into the darkness of his heros as much - but also because Miller was deliberately writing a hero who is coming into her own in a major way after a lot of history on the sidelines. Steph doesn’t struggle with not killing villains, as she did in the Final Night issue of Robin or her Detective Comics issue where she went up against Zsasz as Robin. She doesn’t express rage in her fights against most of her other villains, from Scarecrow, to Roxy Rocket, even the despicable Reaper gang of bored kids who turn their nihilistic laziness into murderous rampage.

But that segues into my main counterargument: I do not think that Steph’s anger is a defining trait, but is instead a strongly circumstantial trait. Steph expresses great rage against those who personally betrayed her - her father, her uncle, her gymnastics coach - but when fighting villains without that personal connection, like Lynx, Scarab, and countless gang-bangers, she usually displays a happy enthusiasm for life and her work as a hero. The occasional moments of desperate rage, like wanting to leave a murderous thug to die in the snow during Final Night, or using a potentially lethal move against the fathomless evil of Zsasz, are very rare (and let’s not get into my frustration that despite my enjoyment of the Zsasz issue, Gabrych having Steph re-learn the same moral lesson that she’d previously embraced does not sit well with me). While I can see the argument that “Steph’s anger is a defining trait,” I think my own reading, that Steph has a temper, but generally has a sunny outlook on life is at least equally valid.

(Another side note: the question of when Steph learns people’s identities has always fascinated me. I firmly believe there’s a good chance that Steph didn’t know Batman was Bruce Wayne until her “death”, at which point Leslie told her pretty much everything. She never calls Batman “Bruce” or is shown in the same place as him without the cowl when she’s Robin, and the fact that she doesn’t know who Matches Malone is indicates to me that there’s a good chance she doesn’t know Bruce is Batman either. Perhaps a bit far fetched? But I think there’s no real way to prove that she DOES know the truth from the information given.)

With my main point made, I want to move onto some defenses of Steph’s current journey, specifically in the hands of James Tynion IV. I think a key element to understanding Steph’s relationship to Batman in n52 and Rebirth continuity is that while Jason’s (and Damian’s) deaths have a profound impact on Batman, both Jason and Damian are ALIVE again, and that has gone a long way towards healing the part of Bruce that wanted to protect Steph by shoving her out of the life of the hero. With that gone, Bruce does want to take in the various young heros in Gotham and give them the best chance he can to be the best heroes possible. With that background on Bruce’s part, unless Tynion wanted to make Bruce a giant sexist and have him say “no girls allowed” to Steph, the conflict between Steph and Bruce leading to Steph being an outsider simply couldn’t be a one-sided idiocy on Batman’s part.

And so we get a long, carefully constructed distrust sown between Steph and Batman. First, the trauma of seeing a nightmarish Batman assault her father as a ten year old (Batman Eternal #10), followed by her belief that Bruce Wayne (of Batman Incorporated) is Lincoln March, the force behind her father’s reign of terror on Gotham. She then spends a large amount of her first several months, possibly a year, as Spoiler in a Gotham where Batman has disappeared and been replaced with JimBats. Current Steph simply doesn’t have the same foundation of trust with Batman that previous Steph did. No ridealongs to fight creepy bug people, no one on one training alongside Batgirl and Robin. Just a giant blue Bat-bunny and some training from the Robins and her new friend Harper.

Which brings me to another major point of contention I have with some trends in Steph fandom: her relationship with Tim. A lot of Steph fans view her relationship with Cass as the defining relationship in her life. And I would never, ever want to say that Cass and Steph didn’t powerfully impact each other’s lives - Steph learning so much from Cass, and Cass seeing Steph as she dies in her final confrontation with her mother, clearly demonstrate how important that relationship is. But for various reasons, Steph’s relationship with Tim is ignored by many fans. Was the way Tim treated Steph (and Helena and even Babs) over the issue of his secret identity pretty crummy? Absolutely. But for the span of 128 issues, Steph was part of Tim’s cast, and her main relationship in life was with him - and it was often a beautiful one. Tim’s growing attraction to her, his support of her during her pregnancy, him sticking by her as Bruce played hot and cold with her training - there’s so much to love about it. And as much as Cass was shafted by the way Steph became Batgirl, and I think her relationship with Steph merited much more than it got during that series, I think the way her relationship with Tim was handled was just as frustrating. (I don’t want to make this into a major flaw of the series - there are reasons Tim couldn’t appear in Batgirl very often, and Miller did a solid job of writing a character arc for the two that explained it in universe - but I would have appreciated a few more appearances by him than just one, just as Steph popped into the Red Robin series every now and then.) I think too many fans see Tim as a weight that Steph needs to shed to become a great hero, but I think Tim was a great force for good in Steph’s life and career as a hero. Not a perfect one - that would be poor characterization of both Steph and Tim - but more than just dead weight that I feel many, many Steph fans treat him as.

With that background, I look at the restoration of Tim and Steph’s romantic relationship in Rebirth as a major plus. It’s not a perfect restoration - the criticism that it’s pretty blandly sweet, rather than the rocky, complicated, loveable coupling we see over the 20 years of their history previously, is spot on - and there was almost no setup (except for the adorable panel of Tim crushing on her at the end of Batman Eternal, which artist David Lafuente putting a heart into the uncolored pencils :). A huge part of the criticism of Steph’s current arc revolves around how she shouldn’t be so brokenhearted over Tim’s death - but I think that’s a really silly argument. Balancing Steph as an independent character vs. a supporting character for Tim is something that I think Tynion probably will struggle with, but I very much think that 1) her love for Tim is emotionally engaging and sweet, and thus her sorrow and rage feels quite understandable, and 2) a big reason Tynion is telling the story of Steph striking out on her own is so that she has more accomplishment under her belt when Tim comes back, so she doesn’t fall into the role of “Tim’s girlfriend.” I want Tim and Steph to be together - I’m a longtime TimSteph shipper, obviously - but I want her to have her own arcs and goals, so I think that her current plotline will be a big step in the right direction.

Which brings us to the third main point of this essay (point one being about Steph’s anger, point two being about Steph and Tim): Steph’s rejection of Batman leading to her status as outsider to the Batfamily. To me, even as Batgirl, Steph is defined much more by her independence and status as not in the innermost circle of the Batfamily, rather than her anger. As mentioned before, Batman couldn’t just be the jerk he was in the 90s, telling Steph to stop or firing her. So how could Tynion write a story about her being an outsider now? She would have to have a reason - and he gave her two. First, the way Steph and Bruce handle the grief of Tim’s death. Second, Steph trying to find what kind of hero she wants to be. Both of these do mean that Steph is making mistakes, even becoming hypocritical in criticizing Batman’s mission while using the exact same tactics. But I don’t think it’s a case of Tynion saying, “Oh, look how dumb Steph is.” This is Tynion having Steph take control of her own career. Her outsider status is no longer the result of being controlled by Batman or Tim. Steph has agency in her status - she chose it, and she will return when she chooses, on her own terms. She’s also very much a competent hero - perhaps a bit overly so, by taking down Wrath with really superior tactics and psychology, and the whole team in a very Batman vs. the Justice League way in Victim Syndicate. There are hints of her former struggles in Rise of the Batmen when she sets off all the explosives at once, and her fight against Anarky in the second issue of Utopia was pretty poorly written, but on the whole, this Steph is in no danger of being fired for failure - and that, too, is part of her agency.

As for the fears of War Games - people have been predicting that Steph’s plots are a reimagining of War Games since Batman Eternal (myself included). At this point, I think Tynion is not super interested in retelling that story. There may be some elements that parallel that horrible storyline (even though I will say that Devin Grayson’s and Brubaker’s parts for Steph are affecting, and Steph’s death scene gives me one of my favorite lines, “Part of the legend,” which I will bring up ANY TIME someone says Steph wasn’t Robin), but I think Tynion is more interested in telling a new Steph story.

Which brings me to my closing point: Steph’s storyline has some problems. It’s basically her turning a bit into “stop having fun guy” by telling Batman he’s doing it wrong, and she’s also a hypocrite because she’s using the same tactics constantly. But the suggestions I hear instead seem almost always to be “recreate the fun parts of her previous history and give her new fun relationships.” People (rightly) want her to restore her bond with Cass, and to grow closer to Jason and Duke.

All of these are fun, and I would love to see them, but they’re the actions of a supporting character in someone else’s story. What Tynion is telling is very much Steph’s own story, with her taking control and having the right to make mistakes without being punished for them. She’ll deal with the consequences on her own terms. So far, her story has had ups and downs, but it is Steph’s story, and I for one am following it with great enthusiasm and enjoyment (though hopefully with fewer guest-writers).

[highschoolharrier]

Paul Baur is the head coach of the Pine Crest cross country team in Florida who recently won a state title in Class 2A. They will racing this weekend at Nike Southeast.

High School Harrier: Your team is coming off of a big win at the 2A state meet.  Were you expecting your team to perform the way it did?

Paul Baur: I was very proud of the way our girls ran.  We put 4 in the top 7 with 3 PRs and 1 SB.  We also had a School Record 18:37 team average (5k).  We scored 33 points, which was a 20 point margin of victory.  Our #5 & #6 girls ran with a different strategy and both posted SB times, moving past 32 and 20 runners after the 1st mile respectively for Cassie Lawlor & Amanda Schwartz.

HSH: Your girls seem to make it a point to get to the front early.  Was that part of the plan, or was that more just a show of fitness for where they are right now?  

PB: Definitely the plan for our top 4 runners.  They knew it would be a fast start we just told them don't push it and trust that you will be fine.  They ran where they were comfortable and moved after the 1st mile as everyone approached the "wall".  They definitely feel most comfortable up front and know their pace.

HSH: Last year you won the state meet over Bolles 29-50 with just one senior in the top 6.  What did you tell the team in order to set the bar high again when you were already a strong favorite?  

PB: Coming into State the girls knew they were the ones everyone wanted to beat.  They built a great amount of confidence through their training and racing.  They had a bad feeling after finishing 5th at Nike Regionals last year so that really was the motivator.  Repeat as State Champs and now to qualify for NXN.

HSH: How did your team handle the adversity of the storm and what did you do as a coach to make sure your team was ready to go when school returned?  

PB: We were out of school for 10 days and could not meet for practice.  Many of our kids were out of state and communicated with each other.  They did the best they could to get in running, but we knew we would be behind where we hoped we would be going into the end of September.  Once we returned we started with a time trial.  It had been almost a month since we raced so we hoped to build their confidence to show them they were still on track and not behind like they thought they would be.  After that we just moved forward and tried to forget about what we missed.

HSH: Is NXN something your team focuses on, and if so how does it affect your training throughout the year?  

PB: Most definitely.  We plan training knowing we have another two weeks after State.  We stayed into our hills workouts longer than most would and even liked to keep some tempo workouts as they like those type of workouts.  It's always a balance of what we should be doing scientifically and what they need mentally.  In the end, they need to believe in what we are doing and as a result, they will run well.

HSH: You were a thrower and a swimmer in high school.  How did you get into coaching distance and what lessons did you bring with you from those other sports?  

PB: My high school, Brother Martin in New Orleans, had an incredible team when I was there and still does to this day.  I always saw how much fun they had running and it was a special group of guys.  When I coached at Malone University in Canton, OH, I saw the same thing.  Moving to Florida and taking over a high school program I knew I would build my program with distance as they train all summer, and have two seasons with a small break/base building phase in between.  The first thing I had to do was teach myself how to be a distance runner and educate myself about running.  I read a lot of books, attending clinics and had some great assistant coaches to work with.  I also did all the workouts with the team so I could experience it with them.  I still do that to an extent today.  As a javelin thrower in college, most of my training was with the jumpers and shot/disc/hammer throwers.  I learned a lot from both groups and used that in helping create athletes out of our distance runners.  We don't shy away from running fast and working hard, just like throwers and jumpers!

HSH: How big is Pine Crest and how big is your team?

PB: We have about 850 students in the HS and our team has roughly 60 boys and girls on it.  I also coach our MS team and we have roughly 50 boys and girls on that team too.

HSH: Do you have any runners who you think had a breakout year?  

PB: Emily Faulhaber has been one of our most consistent and improved runners.  Last year at State she finished in 19th place running 19:16.  This year she was 7th and ran 18:46.  Tsion Yared also bounced back from some early season struggles and won her 2nd individual title running 18:00 for 5k.  She is running very strong right now and we look forward to seeing what she can do in a loaded field at Nike Regionals as well as the rest of our team.  Maya Beleznay finished 3rd at State, 18:22 and Mahdere Yared was 4th in 18:23.  

HSH: What does the average training week of a varsity athlete on your team look like?  

PB: In the early season, on Monday we typically do some type of tempo,Tuesday we follow up with hills (old garbage dump now a park, Wednesday is recovery, Thursday is VO2max, Friday recovery and Saturday is long.  When we have a meet those days we change it up and we usually either drop the tempo or VO2max.

HSH: Do you have any key workouts or go-to workouts with your team and why do you do that workout?  

PB: Vista View hills are a staple each week.  With some hills on our State course and at Nike, we make sure we get on the hills each week.

HSH: If you had to say one thing, what would be the most important part of training in order to produce a successful program?  

PB: Consistency with training and tempo runs throughout the summer.  I feel you must put forth good effort during the summer months and not just easy miles.

HSH: Florida has some of the toughest weather to train in during the summer months.  How does your team handle training in the heat?  

PB: We alternate days with some training in the morning and some in the late afternoons.  We aren't shy about heat, but try to be smart about when we run in it.  We also do a group spinning class on Thursdays to get off the road and cross train.   

HSH: What do you do in order to promote team community/camaraderie? 

PB: Our team always attends a summer camp and have been to Brevard the past two years.  Also, they love to do breakfast together after Saturday practices, hang out on weekends and spend a lot of time on social media with each other too.  We also host a lot of meets and everyone loves loading the truck together after a long day of racing!

HSH: Does your team have any traditions they look forward to each year?  

PB: Definitely summer training and camp together.  It's a huge highlight for everyone.  They also look forward to pre-state each year as it's usually the first and only time we get decent weather during season before State.  It's a great indicator where we are at with regards to the years past.  Also, Jason's Deli.  We must have Jason's deli when we go to Tallahassee!

HSH: Injury prevention is a key component in cross country, especially for girls.  Do you have any ancillary training you do with your team in order to keep them healthy and ready to train?  

PB: Communication is key with our girls.  We expect them to speak to us if they are not feeling well or if something is bothering them.  We all know that injuries and illness get progressively worse with time and if we know something at the onset, we can usually prevent things from building into something serious.  Some of our girls alternate days running and biking.  It's not something we do with everyone, but it works for those who have had injuries in the past.  Our girls also strength train 2-3 days a week.  We do a lot of functional movement exercises.  Coach Tim Hibbs (@pcperform) does a great job creating their training routines.

Photo courtesy of Paul Bauer.

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Batman” (1989)

Decided to rewatch this classic before I watch the new Justice League movie that’s out this week

I, for one, am so glad Danny Elfman brought the Batman theme back into “Justice League”

*jams out to the Batman theme*

JACK NICHOLSON

Billy Dee Williams!  And he’s only in it for like 5 minutes

Jack Palance! 

Oh my gosh, I forgot Prince did music for this movie

Aaaand it’s the Batman symbol!

Matte painting!  Matte paintings everywhere!

Why do they always portray Gotham as freaking packed?  I know it’s supposed to be a bustling metropolis but this is too much.

Why yes, random family, let’s take a shortcut through a shady ass alleyway.

What the...

Batman, brought to you by American Express

*Batman floats down behind the robbers*  Eeeyyyy!!

*Batman gets shot*  Welp, he’s dead.  End of movie.  Cue end credits music.

Gotta take your sweet ass time revealing your cape...

He raises his arms so high in the air in order to do it.

“I want you to tell all your friends about me.”  “What are you?!?!?”  I’M BATMAN! DAAAA NA NA NAAAA NAAAAA

Lando?!?

Mayor Borg?!?!?

“People of Gotham City, I [Harvey Dent] am a man of few words.”  Nah, he’s a double-crossing, no-good swindler.

All righty, unpopular opinion time:  I don’t like Jack Nicholson as the Joker.  I just don’t.  He’s just... Jack Nicholson in clown paint.  Plus they establish him as a character before he becomes the Joker.

Oh, and of course, they name the Jack Nicholson character “Jack”

So who’s the Lieutenant character again?

Heelllooo shady lookin’- oh it’s Jack Nicholson.

Bob the Goon!

Matte painting!

This movie should be subtitled “Matte Paintings:  The Movie”

Oh my God, Lando, what did they do to your hair?

Eeeeyyy!!  Bob Kane!

“Vale, will you marry me [Knox]?”  “Nope?”  “Wanna buy me lunch?”  “Maybe.”  “I eat light!”  Pffftt....

Story time:  the Quidditch coach/captain of the team here at college (who is notorious for being a flirt) asked me to buy him supper one time before practice.  I knew it was a joke but I told him “Nah, you gotta earn it” and I was applauded by the team

Obligatory purple Joker suit!

Obligatory Joker card!

Why is it such a big deal that Jack Nicholson is involved with that one particular moll?

You gotta hammer it in that Jack Nicholson’s gonna become the Joker

Why is there a casino set up in Wayne Manor?

Michael Gough!

Why is Vicki Vale dressed like she’s getting ready to be married?

I like that we don’t actually meet Bruce until like 20 minutes into the movie.  Plus they establish him as a mystery character- technically the main characters at the beginning of the movie is Knox and Vicki and then it shifts to Batman.  And then again, we don’t get a lot of background on either Batman or Bruce.

I never really had time to appreciate how great Michael Keaton is as Bruce Wayne but dang he’s good.  And I love the reasoning behind this casting:  there’s no way he could be seen as Batman and when we do find out, it’s a big shock.

Holy crap, how many cameras are set up around the manor?

Oh my gosh, Bruce has reading glasses!

Sound stage!

FreEEEZZZEE!!!

AN:  I’m only 25 minutes into this movie.  We gots a bit to go because I’m such a motormouth

Boom goes the dynamite!

Yes, let’s have a police shootout in a chemical factory!  Great plan, guys!

Man, Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon would be on the ball when it came to this situation.  Pat Hingle’s Commissioner Gordon just stands around and gives orders

Um, officers, you’re walking into a puddle of toxic chemicals...

In all seriousness though, I want Jack Nicholson’s hat

Never have I seen a smirkier Batman than Michael Keaton’s Batman

Well there’s also Kevin Conroy’s Batman

*Jack Nicholson falls into the chemical vat*  Welp, he’s dead.  End of movie.  Cue end credits music.

AXIS

Why were Jack Nicholson’s fingernails dyed green from the chemicals?  I know it’s comic book logic but still...

This scene in the dining hall is my dad’s favorite scene in the movie.

That is an impossibly long dining table.

Aaww, they’re having dinner with Alfred in the butlers’ quarters!

“Alfred’s great.  I [Bruce] couldn’t find my socks without him.”  Cue in Batman:  The Animated Series, Joker literally cannot find his socks because Harley’s not there.

That is no way to take bandages off properly, Jack...

Mirror... MIRROR!!

“You see what I have to work with here.”  Yeah, those are some shitty surgical tools there, buddy.

Oh, throw that shoe, Bruce

“Who the hell are you?”  “It’s me [the Joker].”  *sings* IT’S MEEEEEE

“Jack?  Jack is dead, my friend.  You can call me.. Joker!  And as you can see, I’m a lot happier!”

This freaking circus music though

*Bruce and Vicki cuddle while sleeping*  Cue Bruce going “Aw man, I can’t enjoy spending time with this awesome lady because I gotta brood, man.”

WHY IS HE UPSIDE DOWN?!?!?

WAIT ‘TIL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME!

Why the hell is Jack Nicholson dressed like that?

What kind of hand buzzer is that?!?

HAVEN’T YOU HEARD THE HEALING POWER OF LAUGHTER?  NOW GET OUTTA HERE!

YOUUU... ARE MY NUMBER ONEEEE... GUUUYYYYYY!!

How does Bruce Wayne AKA Batman not notice Vicki trailing him from his house to Crime Alley?

Random mime... more random mimes...

Why is Bruce just standing there?  Ooohhhh... wait a minute.. there’s this whole schindig about him recognizing Jack later in the movie

There is literally no reason why Jack Nicholson becomes the Joker since he’s already been established as Jack Napier before the whole ACE Chemicals thing. 

THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!

Alfred just wants some grandkids, gosh dang it

How the hell did you get those pics, Vicki?

Oh my God, I hate that this Joker has this weird crush on Vicki.  I hate it so much.

“I’m in a mind to make some mooky.” Ugghh...

Oh my gosh, the Smylex commercial

Oh my gosh, the newspeople aren’t wearing any care products... pfftt...

What kind of cake foundation does Joker have?  That’s like the stuff we had to wear in high school

That waiter just addressed Vicki as “sir”

Did Joker write that message in crayon?

That elderly couple is dead after falling off the balcony like that

LET’S BROADEN OUR MINDS!

*jams the crap out to “Party Man” by Prince*

*One goon paints over a bust*  Hey look, it’s the Jared Leto Joker

What the crap is this music that plays?  It plays during one of the trailers for “The Shape of Water”

Oh wait, it’s the theme from something called “A Summer Place”

I quote the “one dollar bill” quote all the freaking time at my house.

The prosthetic work on Alicia looks pretty sweet, I gotta say

Oh, a little song.. a little dance... Batman’s head on a lance...

Oh my gosh, I forgot how much Kim Basinger screamed in this movie

They even color coded the cars for Joker’s goons

*The police get involved in an accident involving a farmer’s market truck*  NO, NOT THE CABBAGES!

There is no way in hell that Vicki only weighs like 108

Remember when the Batsuit was made out of rubber, you guys?

*Crazy, sword-wielding guy goes after Batman*  Seriously?  Did you not see “Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

For the Batmobile, it looks like they made the toy first before constructing it for the movie

Gotta love that Danny Elfman score...

*Vicki tries to see under Batman’s cowl*  Yo, Vicki, don’t distract Batman while he’s driving

The Batcave!

Why is there just this one random bat hanging out in a bird cage?

Forgot that Michael Keaton literally could not turn his head in the Batsuit

Oh my gosh, how short is Michael Keaton here?

Oooohhh nice transition!

How the hell did Vicki end up back there?

Gotta admit, that’s a nice apartment

“You see, my life is really...”  Batsy!

JUST TELL HER YOU’RE [Vicki] BATMAN!

I like how Bruce walks right by the fire poker in order to get a freaking tray to hit Joker with

YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!?  C’MON, LET’S GET NUTS!

EVER DANCE WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT?

“Never rub another man’s rhubarb.”  What?

There is no way in hell that Bruce deflected that bullet with the tray

Matte painting!

“Can you hear me?  Just the two of us.”  *sings “Just the Two of Us” by Will Smith*

Gotta admit, Michael Keaton’s Batman has an awesome thinking/pensive face.  It’s probably the eyebrows that help

What is it with families being targeted by random gun-wielding criminals in abandoned alleyways?

There’s no way that that’s Jack Nicholson playing young Jack Napier

Nevermind, it’s some dude named Hugo Blick

*scats the Batman theme obnoxiously out of tune*

Batman’s belt just slipped.  Never gonna un-see that

Why is it that every time this Batman is in the Batsuit and glaring at somebody, he looks like he’s really constipated?

Seriously, is there not a bathroom in the Batcave?

Is this another Prince song?

So where exactly did Joker find the time to find all of this stuff and prepare for an impromptu 200th anniversary parade?

The Batplane!

Matte painting!

“Me?  I’m giving away free money!”  And it looks faaaaakkkeee...

Something is up with that clown balloon’s nose... just saying...

Yeah, lets go after the Joker’s goons with a baseball bat, Knox.  That’ll go well.

I love the sounds all the buttons make on the Batplane dashboard

“My balloons.  Those are my balloons!  He stole my balloons!”  Iconic.

Hahaha he [Joker] used Bob the Goon as a step stool off the parade float!

*The Batplane pauses in front of the moon*  Eeeeyyy!!

*Joker pulls out the gun with the really long muzzle out of the front of his pants*  No comment

Again, why is Vicki Vale dressed like she’s either getting ready to get married or go to a wedding?

“Better make it ten [minutes].”  What makes this awesome is that ten minutes actually goes by both in-universe time and movie run time.  My dad actually timed it the first time I watched this with him.

Mad respect to Tim Burton for the aesthetic in this movie, I gotta say

The eyebrows on Batman’s cowl strangely match Michael Keaton’s.  Was this intentional?

*Joker “dances” with Vicki* Now see the last time I recall Joker dancing with somebody was the 5 second long Alex Ross scene with Harley Quinn in “Suicide Squad”

Unpopular opinion time:  I like Jared Leto’s Joker better than Jack Nicholson’s Joker  *gets bombarded with hate mail and darts*

Eugghhhh Vicki’s pulling a freaking Jasmine from “Aladdin”

“You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses now, would ya?”  Cue Wreck-It-Ralph

How the hell did Joker pull Batman and Vicki off the roof like that?

Oh my gosh that 80s falling effect

Yeah no, from that drop, the Joker’s body would be a freaking mess

“The reign of crime [in Gotham City] is over.”  BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh hi Billy Dee Williams!

You know what would be awesome:  if Kim Basinger had a cameo somewhere in the Batman solo movie directed by Ben Affleck.  Just saying

Yoooo....

[davidrsmithlove]

Leading Marketers Share Their Favorite Takeaway from Content Marketing World 2019

Once again, Magnificent Marketing had the pleasure of attending one of the top marketing conferences around, Content Marketing World 2019. This year was packed with information on content strategy, the role of AI in marketing, the rise of voice marketing, and SO much more. If you’re looking for a recap of the conference, check out what these top marketing influencers said was their best takeaways of Content Marketing World 2019.

Ahava Leibtag

President | Aha Media Group

Nothing is more important than your audience and you need to let them lead you. While data, automation, analytics, buyer journeys, content, social media and tech critical, the MOST important thing to maintain a laser-like focus on is your audience.

    Andy Crestodina

CMO | Orbit Media

If you can publish an original statistic that busts a myth, you’ll win a lot of search and social traction. It’s a type of content that can get the attention of journalists and actually make a little news. This tip is from Michele Linn on the Survey Monkey panel about original research. Super smart!

    Adele Revella

To Persuade Buyers, Validate their Perceptions | Buyer Persona Institute

Tamsen Webster’s keynote was my favorite presentation among so many great talks at this year’s conference. She made the most powerful case for marketers to understand and validate their buyers’ wants, needs and beliefs. I say it every year, but it was fascinating to hear Tamsen note that this is not a new concern but a function of the human condition … that we all want to feel, as she said, “smart, capable, and good”. She even started her talk with a quote from 16th-century philosopher Blaise Pascal! Tamsen’s presentation was a powerful call to action for marketers to stop “educating” buyers about their problems and start listening to them!

    Michael Brenner

Speaker, Author, CEO | Marketing Insider Group

We’re nearly 10 years in on the modern content marketing journey and the biggest challenge is still creating, delivering, and getting buy-in for the content marketing business case. Marketers need to learn how to convince their boss, their peers in marketing, sales and the entire business on why content marketing is the future of marketing and the best way to show marketing ROI.

    Peter Loibl

Head of Sales | Content Marketing Institute

Content Marketing World 2019 reinforced a basic but integral premise: consistency leads to success, which leads to corporate buy-in. I was endeared to run into so many content marketers and demand gen marketers using content to fuel their audience connectivity and lead generation efforts, but the biggest smile on my face was a result of hearing of increased C-suite commitment to content marketing teams based on the positive results stemming from documented, consistent content marketing strategies and practices in lieu of fragmented, quick, gated lead-gen wins.

    Tim Hayden

President & Managing Partner | Brain+Trust Partners

Few companies are prepared for the oncoming wave of data privacy laws, starting with Nevada in October 2019, and the California Consumer Privacy Act going into effect January 2020. Ironically, to comply with these new regulations, brands will require the same data governance needed to leverage machine-learning and marketing automation to deliver meaningful content experiences.

    Andrea Fryrear

Agile Marketing Coach & Trainer; Co-founder | AgileSherpas

The newest skill that marketers need to add to our already lengthy resumes is internal marketing. It’s not enough to have a great idea; you’ve got to be able to amass support from others in your organization to give it life and longevity. We need to help people understand our content programs — what’s going on, how’s it’s working, what to expect, and, most importantly, what’s in it for them. If we don’t, we risk losing budget, buy-in, and belief in what we’re doing.

    Christoph Trappe

Chief Content Officer | AC Business Media

The power of machines! Whether AI or machine learning, marketers must make use of these new technologies to free up time for other things machines can’t do and do drive results.

    Stacy Adams

Head of Marketing | Vyond

Storytelling is having a moment, especially visual storytelling. I think this is happening for a variety of reasons. First, stories bring an authentic, human condition context to content. Storytelling is one of the foundations of person-to-person communication, and it’s natural in today’s tumultuous social and political environment for people to gravitate towards something warm and familiar. We feel even more affinity to a brand when we can relate to them through similar experiences, and stories facilitate that. Second, our consumer tastes for instant gratification in entertainment are bleeding over into our professional lives. I heard a lot of “Netflix” mentions at CM World, and marketers are definitely paying attention to how stories told through this type of media continue to engage and enthrall audiences. Employing the same tactics that encourage binge-watching can definitely move the needle for content marketers. We binge because we want to find out what happens next – it’s a natural human instinct to finish the story. Incorporating storytelling tropes like cliffhangers, character development, and hero’s journey, can and should be used in a business video. Just because your consumer is a business buyer, doesn’t mean you have to ignore what makes entertaining content successful.

    Bernie Borges

CMO | Vengreso

Marketers are focused on understanding the customer journey and producing content to engage the customer throughout their journey. Marketers are paying special attention to equipping their sales team with content that addresses the interests of the customer throughout their journey from awareness, buying, implementation and adoption. Marketers are realizing that content is not one size fits all. Additionally, the same content produced and distributed by marketers for the marketplace is not necessarily what the sales team needs. Marketers are getting serious about integrating their sales team into the content distribution process. But, according to CSO Insights, only 32% of companies have a content strategy for their sales team. Marketers who want to harness the reach-potential and win-rate-improvement-potential of their sales team must begin by developing a content strategy for sales enablement.

    Jay Acunzo

Founder | Marketing Showrunners

Marketers are realizing their new mandate. It’s no longer enough to grab attention. The best in the world are focused on holding it. This has led to a rise of serialized content — shows. More and more brands are launching podcasts and video series in order to hold attention. This ranged from massive global brands partnering with international media outlets, to small businesses piloting a new original from a conference room. From standalone podcasts to entire networks of series, we’re watching the rise of the branded original series online. It’s time we all embraced: Great marketing isn’t about who arrives. It’s about who stays.

    Brody Dorland

Co-Founder | DivvyHQ

I appreciated the warning from multiple speakers regarding social media being “doomed”. Even if it takes years for such a scenario to play out, I feel it’s so important for companies to shift or narrow their focus to building their own audiences and owning their methods of marketing/content publishing, distribution and promotion. Those who have already made this a priority not only have a head start, but will see dividends grow as audiences decide to reduce time spent on unstable social networks that may lose favor overnight.

    Pamela Muldoon

Sr. Consultant & Content Strategist | The Pedowitz Group

I loved Joe Pulizzi’s 7 Laws of Content Marketing keynote session this year at Content Marketing World 2019. One of the seven laws that really resonated for me and I believe in 100% was The Marketing Pushover Law, where he challenged content marketers to say NO to tactics are not within the content strategy. It’s time marketing owned marketing again and a documented content strategy that aligns to the business objectives will provide the necessary leverage marketing teams need to say NO to tactics outside of the plan.

    Zontee Hou

Consultant & Speaker | Convince & Convert

Yes, the fundamentals of creating good content are still vital. But as the industry matures, content marketing practitioners are more focused now than ever before on getting the most out of their analytics: measuring, learning, and benchmarking. While most understand that vanity metrics don’t do their brands any good, based on my conversations and the sessions at CMWorld, they also haven’t implemented more effective metrics. As we move into 2020, the industry as a whole will reckon with how to be more effective and driven with metrics.

    Gini Dietrich

Founder & Author | Spin Sucks

A good 10 years into this industry, things are continuing to evolve. Some things have stayed the same, and some things have changed. The biggest takeaway is to stay the course, keep up on the trends, follow what the experts have to say, and trust in your expertise, your talent, and your gut when it comes to your own business and your content marketing plan.

    Stephanie Stahl

General Manager | Content Marketing Institute

Consumers, customers, and prospects don’t necessarily need more content. They need content that is meaningful, actionable, fun, amazing …not excessive and mediocre. Content marketers need to know the meaning behind their work and they know what is meaningful to their audiences (and internal stakeholders). When you dive deeper into meaning, a stronger bond between the audience and your content (or your brand) is more likely to form. And that’s the key to successful content marketing programs.

    Anna Hrach

Strategist | Convince & Convert

The only way to be really successful in the very near future is to understand your audiences incredibly well. Talk to them. Survey them. Gather all the available insights and data you have about them. Use it all to understand their customer journey, wants and needs, and everything from general content creation to ABM and more will be easier and far more effective.

    Priscilla McKinney

CEO & Momma Bird | Little Bird Marketing

Writing ANYTHING, whether short or long format should not be undertaken before significant work is done to develop an ideal client persona. While companies may feel like they are “doing” marketing, they are in fact accomplishing nothing when the intended audience is not the primary focus. We need to know, really KNOW what keeps our ideal buyer up at on Sunday and what gets them going on Monday morning! Creating content with these emerging and persisting issues in mind help us see our content as HELPFUL and this will stop us from shouting at our audience, but instead serving them. In the end, great marketing can be done when this mindset shift has taken place and we’re writing for the betterment of someone else’s moment. Sometimes that’s all you get and if you build rapport in that moment you just might earn a chance to be heard and considered. Oh, and your ideal client persona changes over time, so this is not a one-time exercise but a commitment to a mindset and process.

    Ann Handley

Chief Content Officer | MarketingProfs

Do less and obsess.

Also, every conference should have a Meet and Greet fundraiser with the very best doggos that ever were.

    Douglas Kessler

Co-Founder | Velocity

A big theme this year was all around the challenges of getting great work approved by stakeholders. This feels like this is the issue of the moment: Switched-on marketers have figured out what good looks like for them—but they’re being blocked by senior executives working from the old-school playbook. About a year ago, we wrote a piece about overcoming this challenge called A Stakeholder Through the Heart. Bot today, it feels like it’s on more and more people’s minds. We can only do great work if we bring people along with us. The work of aligning stakeholders isn’t a big, fat obstacle to doing your job… it IS your job.

    Ian Cleary

Founder | RazorSocial

My top takeaway from CMW was from Jay Baer’s session on how to conquer the new frontier of voice content, Alexa and smart speakers. It really got me thinking about getting involved in building voice applications for these devices. I read a recent research report where it predicted that 50% of all search queries across the internet will be voice-based. Is this like a whole new world of SEO? Remember the early days of Google when it was easy to rank for articles? As Jay pointed out it is still early for these type of applications but the early adopters could certainly steel an advantage to the later comers. It’s time to get serious with voice search. If you don’t, your competitors will!

    Julia McCoy

CEO | Express Writers

CMWorld ’19 was so good, it’s hard to pick one takeaway! I would have to say my one favorite takeaway if narrowed down, would have to be Joe Pulizzi’s 5th law from his MKTG 2030 keynote, covering the 7 Laws of Content Marketing. Law #5 was the law of the content one-night stand. “How do you marry your customer,” Joe said, “versus leaving them feeling like they’ve had a one-night stand? Leave notes. Give loving, valuable content — long before the sale is attempted.” Joe called content campaigns the devil, told all 4,000 of us to stop doing them, and have a goal of getting married instead of a one-night fling. Ongoing content experiences are key, not one-time campaigns. The point Joe drove home holds true for so many success patterns I see in content, from success among the hundreds of content projects we take on monthly for clients at Express Writers, to our own eight-year run of marketing done completely through valuable, reader-targeted strategic blog posts that rank well in organic SEO, on our Write Blog. Content success today is all about “getting married” and providing real value to your audience — not a quick push for a sale, or a one-night stand content encounter.

    Jonathan Kranz

Principal | Kranz Communications

I have less of a takeaway and more of an observation: as content marketing has grown, two things have happened. One, “content marketing” is becoming its own distinct profession, a subset of marketing with its own universe of rules and practices. Two, we have been slow to acknowledge a deep undercurrent of exploitation in our industry, especially of content creators. It sickens me to see the number of so-called “innovative” products and services whose fundamental business models are predicated on paying writers, designers, developers, and artists PENNIES on the dollar for their creative efforts. If we’re going to fulfill the potential of the first observation — a trend toward professionalism — then we’re simultaneously obligated to address and offer redress on the second trend, exploitation. If we don’t, we’re just pimps, not professionals.

    David Reimherr

Founder | Magnificent Marketing

My top take-away from CM World is to do less. And I don’t mean to try any less, just to stop, think, and do more impactful content pieces. We all know it’s gotten very crowded out there so it’s almost a waste of time to produce any content that will not move the needle. If you have a choice to put out so-so weekly pieces vs. one bang-up monthly piece, opt for the monthly. But before you do anything, you must do your proper research so you know your audiences’ wants/needs/desires/pains as well as know what you would like for them to do next. So my advice for everyone today is to take a breath and a step back, and then start to deliver to your audience content that truly is helpful, inspirational or provides them with a bit of joy or laughter.

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