#and obviously im going to start with the beginning
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hi hello so for any people curious bout the dream beef i am talking about im gon chronicle it all here in a hopefully fully contextual way for both longterm weirdos and new people who dont know bout my parasocial beef w dream. ill try to keep my biases out of it somewhat but anyways,
this began with a podcast Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold have together in which they had philza as a guest. Episode 9 is currently behind a paywall on their patreon but they have a youtube channel where they post them publically as well. Not sure if they make all their episodes public eventually or not but i digress.
Twitter user _constel_ has posted 5 clips from the podcast in question that contain their discussion about dream. I have downloaded the videos but tumblr doesnt want me to put them in this post so i will try and sum up each clip as I go.
Clip 1: Phil starts talking about how once the dsmp was done people would joke about how their 'contracts' would be over and they would be allowed to talk about things behind the scenes. philza mentions the infamous philza tweet in response to dream.
for context, the main discussion is around this exchange from around february 2021, where dream 'jokingly' argues that he is responsible to tommy's high viewership on youtube:
Most of it the tweets are deleted by both parties but it was very much a whole thing. Phil has apparently joked about revealing the context of his reply 'when he retires' (mentioned clip 1).
Jack Manifold had apparently been in a call with tommyinnit when the exchange was happening and recalls tommy being extremely stressed. The context philza gives is that he was texted by tommy to look at the thread while he was going on a walk and tommy was panicking over if dream was genuine (mentioned clip 2). Philza says "I'll find out if he's fucking joking' and that he essentially vibe checked dream. Tommy also states that after the twitter exchange he legitimately wrote in his diary to never be rude to dream: "never be horrible to dream. It's not worth it. It makes me too sad". Additionally jack manifold establishes that he hated dream from the beginning, they hate each other, and that, although he acknowledges dream aided him through the dream smp, he hates how dream 'takes ownership of other people and their accomplishments because he was a guiding hand' (mentioned clip 3).
Jack manifold mentions that tommy was 16 during this exchange and philza additionally says it was out of line (Clip 4). Philza more openly talks about there being 'reds flag after red flags' with dream in clip 5.
OKAY thats honestly a vague description and theres a LOT more so watch the clips if u want. Heres another tweet 'summarizing' it as well. But anyways this of course had people talking about dream again, some people (accidentally?) acting like this is about dream smp lore, and a lot of people concerned about how tommy was afraid to upset dream and would blame himself when dream picked fights with him.
Dream's response on dreamwastaken was to tweet about how he appreciated everyone who was on the server dispite differences, as well as a zip file to download the dsmp server/world file.
Worth noting there is a limitation on how many people can download the file within 24 hours so now people are only getting an error message when trying to access it which is fucking funny. On his private he also tweeted "love and appreciate you guys <3 very happy to be uploading again :) hope to keep it rolling" (Im not cropping out the reply its funny)
Thats all hes said so far, I havent seen tommy or jack manifold talking about it either. technically it isnt outright in response to their podcast but obviously everyone is taking it as such.
final stuff/my thoughts: dream has obviously had a tendency to kinda 'take credit' for 'making' the streamers who were on the dsmp and its notable that in his tweet he still acts like his server was the reason for people's fame and relationships. Saying 'a group of creators most of which would never have collaborated under any other circumstance got together and made something really cool' is just his thinly veiled way of still taking credit for tommy's fame and the relationships he and others have made and its moronic. Not to mention dsmp was very much NOT the server that got these specific people together, i mean techno and phil met through minecraft mondays, tommy and jack manifold met both of them through smp earth i believe. Even if the dsmp wasnt a thing they probably would have collaborated with other members through mcc eventually. the idea that the dsmp was what brought them together and a bunch of minecraft clowns would 'never have collaborated under any other circumstance' is stupid.
anyways sorry this is long as shit. im going to pray dream doesnt let this go for at least 3 to 5 business days as per usual
#fuckit im tagging things#dsmp#dream smp#jack manifold#tommyinnit#philza#dream hate#spent way too much time on this.#if more happens ill add it in rbs. might try n post the clips seperately too#philza says some goodass shit
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whipped pro-hero!bakugou with supermodel!reader
pt 1
“wanna grab coffee together?”
“sure?”
that's how bakugou and you ended up in some overpriced coffee shop with 2 cups of cappuccinos. apparently bakugou knows you from your debut days because you've worked with his dad before. you both talk a lot, about your childhoods, books, movies, and musics.
“you should come to victoria's secret fashion show next week. im going to walk for them.”
bakugou isn't a big fashion person and he's doing his job as a pro-hero, there's no way he would come to some lingerie fashion show while there are other people who need help—
“sure, what time?” fuck it, there's a lot other pro-heroes like deku or shitty hair anyway.
“i'll email you the invitation.”
when he arrives at the red carpet, paparazzi immediately point their cameras to him and start interviewing him.
“dynamight, what brings you here? and who are you most excited to see tonight?”
“(name) (last name), obviously.”
“ooh, what kind of re—”
“can i go now? if you continue to yap i might miss her catwalk turn.”
“but the show doesn't start yet?”
too late, bakugou already walked away.
his pr manager could only smile and offer a polite “sorry” and pray that he wont be fired by dynamight's hero agency.
meanwhile you're in backstage, your makeup artist just finishing your makeup look. with glitter eyes, dewy complexion, glossy lips that matches perfectly with tonight's collection theme “deliciously sweet.”
“guess who attended tonight's show” one of the directors caught the models attention.
“we all know it's dynamight, it's trending all over the internet.”
“stop drooling ladies, because dynamight himself just said that he is only interested in (name) (last name)!”
instead of booing, other models just shoot you teasing looks, “ooh, the mother herself!” said one of the models.
you just chuckled and shook your head. “focus guys, the runway is about to begin.”
the models start lining up, you're the first one in line because you're chosen to open the show. with huge wings that shaped like cotton candy and pink lingerie set.
“1,2,3 (name) go!”
you start to walk with confidence. with each step you take, you can feel your wings jiggling. your eyes scan the audiences— spot him, that spiky blonde and crimson eyes that cant seem to look away from you.
she's gorgeous, stunning, breathtaking.
you winked at him. he might explode.
with that interaction, the whole internet breaks.
HOT NEWS: IS THERE ROMANCE GOING ON BETWEEN THE BIG HERO DYNAMIGHT AND THE SUPERMODEL (NAME) (LAST NAME) ?
dynamightfan1: the couple we dont know we need
user111: finally a good looking couple
user455: i just spotted them in front of my cafe last week, and he was arguing with someone lol
loveygee555: erm this is awkward
moonlightbabesz: so happy for them!
#mha x reader#bakugo katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha x reader#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#mha
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tbh there's a scene thats so clear in my head, just gotta iron out the details:
Sonic is sent off to find Shadow, claiming he can talk to shadow and get this mess sorted out (were still in classic style btw).
At the cave:
Maria lay sick in a makeshift bed, hidden in a dark cavern with a hole at the top, moss hanging down. There was some kind of battle, after Eggman attack Knothole, and Shadow/Gerlad/Maria were spotted, assumed to be in cahoots with Eggman. Sonic doesn't think they would have done something so brutal and this its a misunderstanding. He wants to hear Shadow's side, but all he finds is maria, laying sick, pale and seemingly in a coma. Maybe he find shadow by her bedside instead? Shadow spin dashes him/tries to chase him off, but sonic warns him that maria needs the royal's help. that she's seriously sick. Shadow wants nothing to do with them, convinced they'll jail them both for their relation to Eggman and Gerald. By this point, Gerald's been captured and will likely be sentenced to treason/death.
"You might not want my help, shadow... but she needs it..."
"I was created to help her, just go away!"
"I'm your friend, shadow, Im not going anywhere."
"I didnt have friends before, I don;t need them now...!"
"Well sucks for you, doesn't it--"
Maria tenses up, likely in pain, stopping them from fighting. Shadow moves to help heal her, but his powers are depleted after whatever fight went on, so he struggles to help as Maria slowly fades away. He begins to tear up, desperately pushing himself, but he doesn't have any energy left. I feel like she'd apologize, maybe this is where the promise scene occurs?
"Shadow..." He looks up, surprised she's awake again,
"I'm sorry I broke my promise...I couldn't support you like I said..." She smiles.
Obviously he could care less, telling her it's okay, "But Please promise me Shadow... promise to protect this planet for me... That you'll appreciate everything it has to offer..."
"M...Maria?" The moment of clarity makes shadow's stomach drop.
"Shadow, you gotta let me take her!"
"Promise me... you'll bring hope to all of Mobius..."
As her eyes close, Shadow panics and breaths heavy, like right before you start to cry kinda breathing. "Sonic...!" He abruptly turns, desperately crying out,
"if youre really my friend-- p-please! Please help her...!"
Sonic doesn't argue with him about joining, instead quietly nodding and taking maria back to the castle.
At the castle:
Sonic brings maria and tries to convince Sally's father, who's shocked,
"Are you insane?! That monster will already be desperate and full of rage when he realizes we captured his creator! Why would you bring her here?!"
"He's gonna be pretty desperate and angry if anything happens to 'er too!"
Sally joins and says something like "He trusts Sonic, maybe this is a perfect time to establish a line of trust with us, get him on our side before Eggman gets to him!"
The king reluctantly agrees, having her taken back. He decides to give Shadow space for now and formulate a plan, avoiding pressuring him... or so he tells Sonic and Sally.
That night, at the cave:
Shadow lays in the makeshift bed, noting the dried blood. He curls up in a ball, tense, all alone for the first time. He has to trust sonic... Sonic knows he wouldn't hurt people...right? He hears a sound and thinks sonic finally returned, but it's guards, who used sonic's communication device to track where sonic went. He tries to escape, but his powers are too low to warp away and they over power him. He tries to explain he never hurt anyone, that he was trying to help. The scene ends with Shadow Crying out for Maria, for help. Sonic would return after a day or two, not finding Shadow, no matter where he looked... He would have assumed Shadow went back into hiding considering Eggman seemed to know nothing about him... In reality, the King couldn't kill him, so they held him up, deep under the castle with specially made shackles/capsule. They wouldn't connect for years... maybe 8 or 10?
I can't decide if he'd be awake or not, maybe partly awake? Like he wakes up years later, after they stop maintaining his capsule? Myabe once Chaos is defeated, that energy passes by him and he escapes? Myabe Eggman finds him like SA2?
Maybe after Perfect Chaos is defeated, all that energy passes through Shadow, reinvigorating/awakening him. I have such a clear visual of sonic and shadow meeting again as he rips the castle apart...
based on this:
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sonic x shadow#sonadow#shadonic#sonadow comic#shadow#sth#classic sonic#sonic x shadow generations#maria and shadow#maria robotnik#shadow and maria#sonic and shadow#sonic su#shadow au#sonic satam
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Quick references for all my OCs under the cut :) For the full body/more detailed refs, click the header text over each section for a redirect!
Please feel free to talk with me about them :D
Nova Stella
Gladiatoria
Pandemonium
Dragon Tree
Owl Feather
Lunar Flair
Cobalt Heart
The Timber Scouts
Tartarus
The Sisters
Royals & Zodiac Knights
Misc. Family
Arion, Eris & Atlas
#finn's ocs#oc references#note: all designs/ages/pronouns/ etc. are listed was what they are at the very beginning of the story#or at the character's introduction#many of these will change (esp age since it takes place over the course of 5 years)#and obviously im going to start with the beginning
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I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.
Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.
Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.
I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.
This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.
They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.
#merlin meta#bbc merlin#merthur#ignore me im literally just rambling#im not sure this even makes sense but i had to yap it out anyway!!#i think merlins love for Arthur surpasses his destiny in a way#He foresakes himself and his people just to ensure Arthur lives#but that turned out to be the undoing of them all#I cannot stress enough how insane this makes me#its sometimes harder to look at Arthur and understand how his love for merlin takes form#but the way he starts taking small steps to check in on merlin when he's being particularly quiet#or noticing the changes in merlin is a good indicator because it is so completely opposite his nature#and ofc the way in which he trusts merlin so completely#remember this is a man who has constant problems with people he chooses to trust#and he also shows time and time again how far he's willing to go beyond the accepted norms to also protect merlin#I think it was always harder for him to allow himself to open about his emotions#and it was much easier to keep it under lock and key to avoid it being seen as a weakness#Obviously thanks to Uthers A+ parenting which could not have helped#but as the seasons go on he begins to open up and thats no small part in thanks to merlins influence in his life#and when it comes to the finale they are both boiled down to raw emotion having to face each other#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon
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this isn’t even about my evil agenda anymore I actually just need to hear your dissertation on voltron/klance x first love late spring
you do evil things to my dick and balls. i hope you know that.
first love / late spring is a very keith-core song, but i think it also applies to both keith and lance... but more specifically, FL/LS is keith pre-relationship, and then FL/LS is lance once they have already started dating.
i'm obsessed with that one interview of mitski where she explained that she wrote this song while she was experiencing her vulnerable first love... and first love is vulnerable. you simultaneously reap the rewards of being known but at the same time, you've now let someone else know you, and now you have to trust them to take care of you. and it's so vulnerable. it's more naked than being naked. and it's so difficult as well because now you're learning a brand new way you can be hurt.
so keith, pre-relationship... he's pining for lance and he is MISERABLE. he's lost control! he feels like he's being consumed by the enormity of his feelings. he's eight years old and small and never asked for this, he never wanted to know he could feel this way. he just wants lance to fucking go already. keith wants to spit vitriol and blame and shame and drive lance away so that when lance leaves him (and he will leave him, like everyone else has), then at least it will be on keith's own terms for once. and keith doesn't, he refuses, to say how he feels. he'll spitefully choke on his confession until it suffocates him. he doesn't want to know what lance might say.
but he also is afraid of lance's reaction because... if lance gives him even a sliver of ground, if there's even a promise of a chance -- keith will fold instantly. he will jump into this love headfirst. he'll do anything if it will make lance stay with him.
and then lance, mid-established relationship... things with keith are perfect, everything is going great, so why does lance feel so anxious all the time? why does he feel so scared when keith looks at him like he's his whole world? maybe the problem is lance. because what they have is real. because he's pretty sure keith is it for him. and that terrifies lance. because lance, deep down, knows he's going to screw this up. and it's not just his heart on the line; he's also going to hurt keith.
keith smiles at him and lance feels sick to his stomach. he wants to tell keith that they might be happy right now, but eventually, lance is going to ruin this. he wants to warn keith that lance is going to break his heart one day.
lance isn't always so negative about himself. during the day, it's easy to let himself be buoyed and enveloped by his feelings for keith. he loves being in love with keith. because the love is real. it's real, and it's there, and that matters. but at night, all those poisonous insecurities and anxieties rear their ugly head, and lance finds himself standing on a ledge over a drop. lance daydreams about spending the rest of his life with keith; lance has never felt so young and small.
#mintcaboodle#klance#voltron#ask#the old child/young adult metaphor is also like. so lance-core. AND THE 'I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME' LINE!!!!!!!!#im in my feels tonight i'm sorry the lance analysis is not fully cooked#also like obviously lance doesn't always feel this way. it's more pertinent closer to the beginning when he#starts to fully realize the depths of his feelings and he's freaking out because he's beginning to understand what it means to spend#the rest of your life with someone and that is a TERRIFYING thing to want and imagine when you're only 17/18#lance does get better though and his insecurities die out the longer and more stable his relationship with keith is#though sometimes those same insecurities crop up now and again#i talk a lot about pining keith and how like tumultuous his experience is. but once he starts dating lance things even out for him#whereas lance is relatively chill in his pining and then begins to flounder after they get together and after he's realized the Love word#otp: we are a good team#katiecanons#idk i guess#keith#lance
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every few years im reminded that the war of the worlds stage show exists which is never good because i always find something new to hate about it
#missives#the war of the worlds#jeff wayne#watched a few clips of the latest tour and brooooo why does it suck so bad#it doesnt have to be this way. make me the single divine arbiter of what goes into the show and ill fix it i promise#lile obviously it is successful somehow but that doesnt make it good#rip it from jeff's clammy little hands and make it into a proper musical please please please. they were on the right track in 2016#with the dominion theatre production#its been downhill ever since#like. its just a bunch of decrepit old men way past their prime who desperately need to retire (looking at jeff and herbie flowers and JH)#and a stupid fucken hologram of an actor nobody likes. put a real actor there PLEASE#its soooo painful watching these genuinely talented performers being forced to rush their lines#anyway! my latest gripe#every new iteration of brave new world ive seen since 2018 keeps making the song worse#2018 is on thin fucking ice bevause i like the cast so much but thats where it all began im pretty sure#turning the end of the song into this weird combo love duet and whole cast ensemble song (life begins again) out of fucken nowhere#its the artilleryman's song holy shit get that out of here!#and i get that the latest tour is the 'post covid' life begins again tour or w/e but holy FUCK#can someone please explain to me why they now even have the other cast members on the screen saying lines at the same time#as the artilleryman#e.g. im not trying to tell you what to be#and its going to have to start with me and you etc etc etc#its annoying and even worse it doesnt make sense!!! why are they there!!! why are they saying the lines!! those lines have a very#specific meaning within the context of the song#idk it just seems like the song keeps being stripped of all its original meaning and i really like it so it's driving me bonkers#anywya. ANYWAY
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I have a cold
#thankfully it isnt covid#but ironically i got it by going to the doctors office cause there was someone there SUPER sick#didnt really matter that i was wearing a mask and gloves#grrrrrrrrrr#but im hoping it passes quickly cause ive already got some signs that are worrying#so when they cut my spinal cord in that girst back surgery they introduced leukocytes into my spinal fluid#so i constantly present as viral meningitis#and my body has a hard time regulating my spinal cord fluid#so now any time i get any virus like a vold or flu or covid#my body has a really hard time regulating itself and my spinal fluid will start to put pressure on my brain#i end up with these odd aches at the base of my neck that kinda acts as my gauge to take it easy or let my doc know#because it can get out of control and begin to shut down my autonomic nervous system and i end up presenting like a stroke#and sometimes that also shuts off my breathing#ive ended up in a coma before for a week because i ended up with a cold#sooooo im obviously a little worried cause getting sick for me is dangerous#and im feeling that ache a bit at my neck so im making sure im not alone right now in case something happens#ughhhh very annoying on top of feeling yucky
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rant about uhh genderfluid lesbians ig
low key think ppl who say genderfluid/nonbinary people who experience any ounce of boy aligned gender can't be lesbians forgot what non binary means. many times its someone whos between boy and girl in some way, so they would in some way, be boy aligned.. ppl who say this made non binary some magical third gender lmao. the point of being genderqueer completely flew over your head.
many genderfluid people aren't gonna just?? have definitive genders they're allowed to fluctuate to or know what they fluctuate to?? many times, they don't identify as certain genders they just identify as genderfluid and feel masculine and feminine sometimes yk. saying genderfluid people who identify as lesbians can't feel like a boy sometimes or encompass boyness in their identity is inhumane and chronically online. likely, genderfluid people *are* going to fluctuate to boy aligned genders. you can't like, make up a specific criteria for something so abstract as gender, it doesn't just work as "this is how boy aligned i am!!". it reminds me of typology nerds who say everything is contradictory..
#chronically online#honestly im starting to feel like people who say this don't even really support non binary lesbians to begin with#even though they say they're in support of them ironically#its just like a new way to keep the same thing#this is worded awfully someone please understand what im saying#also im not trying to make a statement on how genderfluidity should be#i was using that specific genderfluid experience for the point#genderfluid is a broad term#i identify as genderfluid with specific genders i fluctuate to myself#lgbtq community#hot take#rant#genderqueer#non binary#gender non conforming#this ideology is kind of ironic and anti reality too because gay people tend to go against gender norms#NOT SAYING FOR EVERYONE OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE PLS UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING
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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao#like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo#and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw#i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with#and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule#and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean#like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week#like#i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve#but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much#and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week#i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do#but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt#but im still IN the job hi t#*hunt#AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed#like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious#and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves#let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE#anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes#WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me#like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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actually ascension needs its own post since that's the one with the most details to speculate over and im starved for soho talk so i will talk to myself if need be
First the cover again, because I kinda can't get over it:
my only thing is that I had been hoping we might get Lizbeth on a cover again since she's never been on one of the boxsets before, despite being the 2nd person credited on all 4 of them (even if that's just alphabetical, still, she's the only one of the four main characters who never makes the cover)
But letting that go...
I know we already kinda knew the brief for this one but damn I didn't expect it to go quite this hard. Maybe that's just because the Parasite & Ashenden covers were (comparatively) similarish to each other and I was so pleased with Unbegotten's, and then got so used to it as the placeholder for Ascension while they kept postponing it, I wasn't expecting anything this colorful or detailed or with what I can't help but register as Fun New Outfits even though these are still like, pretty damn basic as far as costumes go. Still, it's a different vibe from everyone in suits and trenchcoats on every cover, technically. (Oh the woes of being an audio fan such that two characters owning sweaters actually does qualify as new information)
On top of just being visually delightful though, I know we knew religion was gonna be a fairly big part of this one, but I didn't actually expect to get quite this much of it - though I'm glad of it for a number of reasons. The BF twitter already made the ineffable joke so I don't have to, but also yeah I did very much spend all of season 2 episode 4 of good omens half convinced Samuel Barnett & Dervla Kirwan were about to pop up around any given corner (if you will go around being gay supernatural and horrible at your messy bureaucratic jobs in midcentury soho then I'm sorry, this is where my brain's gonna go) - so, fuel to that fire. But in terms of actual important things, at least one of my Soho wishes looks to be being granted because we have a Rev Edward Folgate on the cast list, which must mean we're finally meeting Norton's father, even if his mother & brother don't appear (which they could, technically, I've definitely seen BF not list all the doublings on their cast tabs before). Religion, domesticity, and the nuclear family are all things that absolutely fascinate me when it comes to Norton's character, so getting any amount of story involving his father & his church is something I've been actively hoping for for a long time now.
(I will say I'm a tiny bit bummed Saffron Coomber isn't on the cast list to play Mia again, but I kinda figured she wasn't going to be since Greg Austin's Armitage, who's making his first recurring appearance after originating in Unbegotten, was listed ever since the boxset was announced - presumably if she was also returning, that would've been handled in the same way. But since Unbegotten ended with Lizbeth and Mia going on a date, I still held out hope. Who knows though, maybe things did go well for them and Lizbeth just has a better work/life balance than Norton so she can date someone without them getting dragged into every scifi plot. I know that's not a very common accomplishment for any Torchwood agent, but a gal can hope)
At this point I know I'm completely in the realm of speculation & even wishful thinking, but I'm really really hoping we get some more clues as to Norton's overall timeline in this one, and I have a feeling that even if there's nothing as direct as dates given, the events of a plot like this one are going to heavily influence my personal interpretation of it.
To say that life & death are major themes for the soho crew feels wildly reductive, but even by Torchwood's standards and taking into account its origins as a piece of media with Jack Harkness & his newfound immortality at the heart of it, the living/dead status of this bunch has always been fantastically up in the air to me. Obviously Ghost Mission introduced Norton as kind of a ghost before revealing more obvious ghostly characters later on to which the title might have been referring, but his being from the past did beg the question of his survival into Torchwood's present era all the same, which Outbreak later alludes to much more directly, and his habit of showing up via hologram in multiple stories only further obfuscates any certainty we might have about where & when he definitely can be said to be alive and well. Then you've got Lizbeth and Gideon both being effectively 'brought back to life' via paradoxes that prevented them ever having died in the first place. Again, they are very very far from being the only Torcwhood characters this happens to (for a sprawling EU, it's really rather impressive how often & in how many different ways Torchwood as a whole manages to circle back to being about like. chaotic undead queers at the end of every day. though I suppose that consistency is part of why I keep falling in love with its different iterations again and again). That's without even getting into the question of Norton's dubious fate in God Among Us - and I say dubious because I know some people take that to be his ultimate death, but I personally think that reading something as vague as that as having any kind of finality rather goes against the spirit of this whole world/series, not just because I want him to live. (There are obviously other ways to make him survive/reappear, but I don't see this as a River Song scenario where we can safely assume one of his earlier-released adventures had to happen at the end of his personal timeline). But wherever God Among Us falls for him, he does very much meet God in it - or at least, a god, since the sentinel in Unbegotten is also described as a god of sorts, and even if he doesn't ultimately have the status of the god Jacqueline King is playing there, Unbegotten is still full to bursting with ghosts/undead/came back wrong/echo characters to continue underscoring that life/afterlife theme.
So all things considered, even allowing for the fact that we know Norton's twin hobbies are lying about himself and abusing time travel to suit his own ends/ever-shifting alliances, I find it difficult to believe we could get through a whole 6-part boxset about religion & death without something providing some kind of compelling evidence about where this adventure fits in among his other run-ins with apocalypses and gods and ghosts and dead-but-still-here characters/creatures, so I'm very much looking forward to any further exploration on that front.
And lastly, and least intellectually, I really want to know what the hell 20th-century Torchwood's obsession with Reginalds is. Reading through the cast list, I had to do two separate doubletakes over the character 'Sir Reginald Peebles' - firstly, because I had Reginald Rigsby on the brain, this being Soho (and the other Troughton brother being so active on BF's releases for this same month) - and secondly, because reading this in conjunction with the announcement for the July monthly adventure in which the new main Torchwood guy of the 20s is apparently called Sir Reginald Dellafield, there was a brief moment where I took that monthly release to be a tie-in with Ascension. I don't expect it to be, but damn. was it really so popular a name?
anyways, catch me thinking about those stained glass windows for the next couple months I guess (and knowing Torchwood Soho, for a long long time after it comes out as well lol)
#torchwood soho: ascension#let's start with the most obvious shall we? behind norton - hellfire or divine radiance? whadda we think?#i know one's much more likely for him but also consider: he's been a fairly good boy by norton standards anyway lately#well i say 'lately' like i know when this takes place#idk why but i kinda feel like this starts very soon after unbegotten#comedy is probably why honestly. since that ends with them being like hey! something went right!#i think ever since i first heard that i was like ok cool so the next installment's gonna be something earth shatteringly bad#& it's gonna kick off dramatically literally one second after this scene ends right?#not that it wouldnt be nice to have some (clearly-defined) timeskip there#tbh i feel like that's the one thing that's missing with soho sometimes - those little medium-sized gaps in continuity#where either speculation or even a missing scenes style fic would go#between parasite & ashenden lizbeth was dead and andy wasnt in the right era for soho shenanigans#and norton and gideon went through SO much offscreen (offmic?)#rebuilding torchwood and starting a relationship and breaking up and getting possessed by space eels and destroying torchwood again#that's like... Too Much to analyze/meaningfully discuss without a few more details from canon#and between Ashenden & Unbegotten it's very unclear how much time has passed#norton certainly seems affected when he sees gideon again for the first time but we also know he went there for him so how long was it?#that and we have literally zero explanation for what andy's doing in the 50s in that one to begin with. has he been there continuously?#or did he leave and come back? if so did norton even have to try justifying it to him?#or does andy just accept at this point that he'll be summoned for anything norton feels is noteworthy? honestly either's plausible w him#but also we have so little confirmed about what torchwood looks like at this point in time!#maybe andy gets summoned for all missions bc he norton and lizbeth are virtually the only agents left after gideon quits#there's just a few too many things unexplained/alluded to for me to go total total fandom mode on this#speculating & theorizing about everything that happens off-audio#doubtless this is mainly bc of norton's general untrustworthiness#like im sure a different main character would've left the audience with fewer uncertainties after this many hours of storytelling#but with soho im still left needing just a tiiiiiny bit more before i feel im knowledgeable enough about the situation to expand upon it#in the traditional fandomy 'transformative' way#right now most of my fanning over it is just speculation about what precisely we can be confident in from the dialogue we do have#but i'd like to go further than that truly. these characters captivate me. obviously.
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this probably already exists in some form but a match-3 mobile game that starts as a completely normal cheerful and wholesome sort of "rebuild the town" or "restore the mansion" type of story but slowly becomes a cosmic horror game as you little by little uncover secrets no mortal was ever meant to discover. it never stops being a match-3 but eventually the normal game pieces like idk gems and fruit or whatever gradually become weird and corrupted and sometimes replaced with ominous glyphs. by late game a sanity meter mechanic is added.
#i dont even want the typical sort of hints from the very beginning that something is wrong#obviously the info page for it would let people know just so they arent playing something they dont want to#but other than that i want it to start like frog fractions style basically#im not going to make this so if by some weird chance somebody sees this and gets inspired then yes please by all means#and change whatever you want from this initial prompt obvs#you could make it less supernatural i guess but#a. murder mysteries are played out and b. boooring
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Me: be patient
Also me: *refreshing my email every 20 minutes*
#tomorrow ill be doing dog stuff all day so i wont have the chance god bless 🙏#im also hopefully starting handling classes next week!#which is why i really need to start setting up a store to sell my art#on account of im literally on a 5 month timer before i get kicked out#on a lighter note also hopefully joining a local kennel club so thats cool!#im so stressed genuinely i feel miserable and anxious but alas so it goes.#minimum wage here is reasonable but not really when you consider how much i am paying for gas to drive to work/school/dog stuff#im just very lost. obviously cant work this job forever because it is so physically taxing and inconsistent but i dont have any other -#- options#like how do i begin going about peddling my art? how do i begin building a portfolio?#i HAVE a website but im not even sure what to post#what to write about#etc etc etc#i am a good writer too! i know im a good writer but i just dont know what to write ABOUT#what interests people?#what would people want me to do a deep dive on?#the blessing of being autistic means i love everything about purebred dogs and love doing deep dives on different topics#the curse of being autistic is i can leave no stone unturned and then it becomes overwhelming and i cant put everything into a cohesive -#- piece.#anyway. my situation is not unique but it is to me and the doom and gloom is setting in#apologies if you read this far.
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this is partially a critique on my part but even more of a critique on other online leftists' part since i notice a complete lack of attempts at putting oneself in others shoes- it shouldn't quite literally take learning you have x minority ethnicity in you to have sympathy and understanding for them.
#i started understanding native people more when even the possibility of me having ntv american in me was presented to me#heres an idea: ACTUALLY TRY TO VISUALIZE WHAT SHIT WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU WERE IN STEAD OF DOING NOTHING#yes. yes. you will 'never fully comprehend' blah blah blah but im sure you've had enough experiences being treated lesser than#to be able to put yourself in other peoples shoes long enough to understand the complex ways of how shit negatively effects people#pretend that you are jewish (in your brain not irl if you're not. this is a thought exercise.) and now tell me what you think should#happen to jewish ppl in israel. and wait- i mean ACTUALLY think about it. dont shit out the most buzzwordsy shit you can think of#to make yourself feel and Look Cool to your followers. basically im asking you to do method acting here. i want you to go THAT far#to understand bc its apparently what needs to be done for you to understand.#bc if you're actually doing this thought exercise and you're actually educated on why theres jewish ppl in israel to begin with#(hint: they were forced out of other countries) you're not going to then be like 'yeah its fine to kill all jewish ppl in israel' you just#WONT come to that conclusion if you're being honest.#also i bet plenty a yall havent even gotten dna tests so far all you know you COULD have ashkenazi in you!#so you need to internalize that and try to act the way you think someone put in that situation would act to understand better.#also obviously all the while listening to jewish people while you're at it.
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a
#idk maybe actually the end result of my transition is just going to be#''i still strongly & inherently believe i'm physically bland and lame ( but as a girl this time )''#LIKE#idunno im not getting the big boost in confidence and the sudden change in style that seems to lead many transfems to;#more than present as fem; present as 'cool & hot & stylish & cute or whichever combination of all these or more in the same vein'#i don't think it's going to happen#i don't know if it's MEANT to happen#maybe i'm just honestly *generally kinda boring and average-or-slightly-less*#maybe that's fine#don't fucking know#definitely have other stuff to figure out anyway that's for sure#but i don't know where to start that's for sure#maybe if i find the domino that's holding back much of my being and push it ( if that's a thing at all anyway )#maybe the ensuing consequences will include another domino that might trigger an era of presenting differently and trying things#and perhaps being more than a bag of flesh wrapped in cloth or other textiles#( in a qualitative & figurative sense bc obviously we're never MUCH more than that tbh )#maybe there's no such domino in the fallout#maybe i don't even have dominos left to fall and they're all already on the ground and i just didn't have many to begin with really#that'd kinda suck honestly#but maybe i can make a cool looking stack with em if i try to gather the pieces at some point#that might be enough#hope you'll come visit my stack if i do#shevr#PS EDIT srry there's no real point to this honestly + i'm fine#felt like dropping a bunch of tags rant and then it was done that's it ey whatever#i gotta go peel légumes to make curry while watching danny gonzalez vids now
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