#and obi-wan realizes afterwards that he did all that for anakin because

[tennessoui]

a few weeks back I read through the entire KUSWK tag from the beginning and now I’ve gone and done it again for the smithsonian AU 😍 a) you’re so good I’m addicted and not complaining and b) I’m *dying* to know who obiwan turned up with for that double date (and as I’m typing this my mind screamed VOS??!!) I don’t know if you plan on returning to this at some point no pressure at all but if you do, please I’d be grateful for that double date! 🥹🥹🥹

- 🦊

i actually just opened this fic's document today (i have spent so much time at the smithsonian museums lately tbh) so it's definitely forever on my mind!! currently, i'm planning to post it a la kuwsk where every chapter is an unconnected ficlet in the same universe, and the first chapter for the smithsonian au (aka "independence ave and madison drive" on ao3 eventually) will be obi-wan realizing his feelings for anakin.....after a whole chapter of being a lil bit of a bitch lmao

[paracosm-draw]

Promptober Day 20 - 2nd chances ☄️

Tags : hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending

~

“Relax that grip, your lightsaber is not going to fly away.”

Anakin turns around from where he’s performing his kata, alone in the training room as the sun only starts to rise in the early morning hours, and glares at Obi-Wan. Even without having to feel him in the Force, the older Jedi can tell that by his posture alone that something is wrong.

“I’m not a Padawan anymore.” He huffs, turning his back again and centering his balance, deliberately ignoring Obi-Wan.

“And yet, you hold that thing like one.”

Anakin, who started yet another set of kata interrupts himself in the middle of a move, turning his lightsaber off and walking straight to Obi-Wan, shoulders and faces tensed.

“What’s your problem ?”

“What’s yours ?” Obi-Wan replies quietly, crossing his arms on his chest. “You’ve been unfocused all day yesterday, you made mistakes you shouldn't have made, mistakes that could have cost you your life or Ahsoka’s one. And you’ve been ignoring me.”

Anakin grits his teeth, hand curling tightly around the handle of his lightsaber. His eyes are thunderous, and even though he’s shielding from Obi-Wan, the older Jedi can still feel anxiety and anger crashing like waves against the walls he built around his mind, letting some of it leak through the cracks.

“I’m not ignoring you.” He decides to say, which Obi-Wan finds interesting because it was the less relevant reproach he made.

He should have redirected the conversation to Anakin’s mistakes, to his responsibilities as a Jedi Master and as a General, he should have lectured him about his recklessness and his tendency not to follow orders but sometimes, sometimes he’s just a man.

“Then why didn’t you come to bed last night ?”

“Couldn't sleep.” Anakin groans, looking away and pushing his sweaty curls out of his face.

“You’re doing it again.” Obi-Wan says, trying not to let hurt show on his face, even though it flashes in his eyes for a second.

“Doing what ?” Anakin mumbles.

He’s looking at the floor, shoulders tucked in as he swings his lightsaber left and right. He looks nervous and uncomfortable, like a kid being scolded and Obi-Wan sighs as they’re about to have the same conversation for the hundredth time.

“You’re pushing me away.”

“I’m not.” Anakin replies immediately, like he always does. “I just needed space, you can’t seem to understand that.”

Obi-Wan looks at him, a sharp pang of pain stabbing him right in the guts. His throat feels dry suddenly.

“Alright, then.” He says, turning on his heels. “I’m giving you space.”

He’s almost at the door when Anakin’s steps echoe on the marble floor, fast and uncertain.

“Obi-Wan, wait.”

Obi-Wan doesn't wait. He walks through the door, taking the corridor that leads to his quarters. He’s tired of repeating the same things over and over again, he’s tired of letting Anakin stomp on his heart and try to fix it afterwards. He’s tired and he would like to be the one someone takes care of for once.

“I’m sorry.” Anakin walks after him, and Obi-Wan can feel him try to reach out through their bond, but he keeps it tightly close. “I didn't mean it.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Maybe I did.” Anakin admits. “But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just… You know I’m shit at talking, opening up to people or whatever.”

“You sure are.” Obi-Wan replies impassively. “That’s why you even stopped trying.”

“Obi-Wan…” Anakin realizes then that he’s not going to get away with an apology.

Looking around to be sure they’re alone, he grabs Obi-Wan's wrist and pulls him closer. Someone could turn at the angle of the corridor at any moment but Anakin doesn’t care, he cups Obi-Wan’s face and pulls him into a kiss, trying to express all his chaotic feelings into this simple gesture.

Obi-Wan gasps softly into the kiss, closing his eyes for a second. He could give in, pretend that everything is alright when Anakin kisses him like that, holds him like he’s the most precious thing in the world, he could push his pain even deeper inside and endure for another day.

There was a time when the warmth of Anakin’s embrace, the passion in his eyes and the softness of his skin were enough to ease whatever conflicts arising between them. There was a time when Obi-Wan would look away from all the unaddressed, ugly things stagnating in the meanders of their resentment just because Anakin took him in the safety of his arms and told him it was alright, they were stronger than this.

But there’s only so much someone can endure before starting to crumble. Obi-Wan feels like pieces of him have been crumbling for a long time.

He can’t keep denying, pretending and lying to himself when his heart is bleeding out in Anakin’s hands, no matter how he tries to fix it with pretty words and empty promises.

Gathering all of his remaining strength, Obi-Wan gently pushes Anakin back, tearing himself away from his warmth and already shivering at the loss of it. He knows he’s the first one who’s going to suffer but he has to do something before it destroys them both.

“We should take a break.”

“A break ?” Anakin frowns, his arms still wrapped around his waist. “Yes, of course. I’m gonna go shower and then we can do whatever you want. We could go to that-”

“A break from us, Anakin.” Obi-Wan interrupts him quietly.

Anakin’s expression morphs into complete confusion, his brows furrowing and lips parting as he stares at Obi-Wan in incomprehension.

“What…?”

Obi-Wan swallows, compelling his voice to stay steady.

“I think we should take some time away from each other, for our own good.”

The look on Anakin’s face flickers between incredulity, hurt and confusion. Obi-Wan doesn’t think he has any idea of what he’s talking about. He probably has no idea of how much Obi-Wan is suffering right now, and has been for some time.

“But why ?” He asks, fingers tightening on the fabric of his tunic.

“Because…” Obi-Wan exhales, keeping his eyes on him. “Because I need it. I need a break. I need time to think.”

“Think about what ?” Anakin asks, voice hardening.

Obi-Wan can see him tensing by the second, jaw locked and shoulders contracting in a straight line. He knows exactly how this will go. He braces himself for the anger already dancing in Anakin’s eyes, knowing that it will pass eventually.

“About us.” Obi-Wan replies. “This… What we have now, this is not healthy, Anakin.”

“What ? Because I didn’t sleep with you last night ?” Anakin asks incredulously.

Obi-Wan sighs and shakes his head. How could he explain several months of things going down in only a couple of words ?

“It’s not that. Not only. It’s just… a lot of little things. Like the fact you never talk to me when things go wrong.”

“That’s why you want to break-up ?!” Anakin exclaims, taking a step back and breaking all contact between them. “Because I’m not talking to you ?”

“I didn't say I wanted to-”

“You don’t love me anymore.” Anakin interrupts him, his face twisting into something complicated.

“I never said that, Anakin.” Obi-Wan replies.

“You said you wanted to be away from me, what's so different ?” Anakin asks, breath catching in his throat.

“I said I wanted some time to reflect on our relationship.” Obi-Wan corrects, forcing himself to stay firm.

“Away from me.”

“It would be… easier, yes.” Obi-Wan admits.

He has to look away at the hurt, so obvious on Anakin’s face.

“I don't understand.” He breathes out. “At least tell me what I did, we can talk about it, we can… we can find a solution. There’s always a solution, that’s what you tell me all the time !”

“I talk to you all the time.” Obi-Wan lets out a mirthless laugh. “You never listen.”

“But I can listen.” Anakin retorts, grabbing him again, more desperately. “I can listen, now. Please. I can do better.”

“Anakin…”

Obi-Wan tries to gently untangle his fingers from his tunic but Anakin grabs him harder.

“No no no, please. Please, Obi-Wan.” He gasps, panic mixing with despair on his features, eyes filling up with tears. “Please. Don’t leave me.”

Obi-Wan knew it was going to be difficult. Resisting Anakin’s anger was one thing but his sadness and desperation were something else. He never learned how not to fold when he was crying. But he had to learn because making another concession now was only going to postpone the problem, he knew it.

“I’m not leaving you.” He whispers, cupping his cheek to brush away a tear rolling down his cheek. “I just need some time.”

“You’re leaving me.” Anakin says, a small sob breaking past his lips. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.” Obi-Wan repeats as patiently as he can while his own heart breaks in his chest. “I’m not leaving you. I love you. I just need to figure out where we’re going with this.”

“Why can't we figure it out together ?” Anakin asks, tears streaming down his face freely now. “How much time do you need ?”

“I don't know, Anakin.” Obi-Wan murmurs. “Please don't make this even harder.”

Anakin lets go of him, then. He steps back, wiping his face with the sleeve of his tunic while wet sobs continue to shake his chest.

“I only have you.”

Obi-Wan’s heart clenches painfully at this. He knows that, and he also knows that it’s not right. Anakin should have other people to rely on, friends to talk to. He knows it's partly his fault if he doesn’t, he should have pushed more, maybe force him to create links with other kids. But the only one he wanted to talk to, to be close to was Obi-Wan and maybe Obi-Wan’s ego was perfectly content, fed with Anakin’s exclusive attention.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers.

Leaving Anakin crying in the middle of a corridor, depriving him of any comfort, closing his part of the bond from his pain was probably one of the hardest things Obi-Wan ever did.

But it was that or losing himself.

~

Surprisingly, Anakin gives him space. He doesn’t try to reach out to him after their last discussion and he even accepts to go on a mission on the Outer Rim.

For two weeks, Obi-Wan is alone with himself.

At first it’s hard. There are signs of Anakin everywhere. From the toothbrush near the sink to the smell of his soap on the sheets. Obi-Wan can't bring himself to clean them.

The worst part is the deafening silence of their bond. Where they spent days and nights sharing thoughts and feelings and sensations there’s now an aching emptiness that almost makes Obi-Wan break down and give in.

Almost.

Every time he thinks about messaging Anakin on his comlink he remembers about the sleepless nights he spent alone in their bed while Anakin was somewhere else, cutting himself from him.

He can't live like that. He can’t keep running helplessly behind Anakin to only get crumbs of what's happening inside his mind. He can't keep making compromises when Anakin simply imposes. He can't keep suffering in the name of unconditional love.

Maybe he should put some conditions. Build some boundaries, which he never really did because Anakin had the habit of putting his walls down as soon as he tried to protect himself, always begging for more of him in the middle of the night and Obi-Wan would give him eventually. More and more and more until there was nothing left of himself.

He desperately needed to find himself again.

So he uses this time alone to take care of his body and mind. He spends a lot of time outside, feeling at peace only when he’s in the middle of raw nature, surrounded by the living Force so thick he can taste it on his tongue. He spends a lot of time meditating also. Training, stretching, walking around and cooking.

It strikes him then, how poorly he’s been taking care of his body in the last couple of months. He notices it in the way his joints and muscles ache unusually when he stretches, or in the more pronounced hollow of his cheeks and stomach when he looks at himself in the mirror.

It frightens him, how easy it was to stop caring about his body and mind, how easy it was to let himself be consumed by Anakin’s hunger, how easy it was to accept it as his new normality.

When he realizes about this, he knows it’s the beginning of his healing journey.

One day, as he gets back to his quarters after he spent the day hiking on the mountains of a neighboring planet, he finds fresh flowers in front of his door.

They’re gorgeous, a mix of colors and smells that delight all of Obi-Wan’s senses. He doesn’t know what kind of species they are but he's sure they can’t be found on Coruscant. And there’s a lot of them ; the bouquet is so huge that he almost misses the little box tucked between them and the door.

Kneeling in front of the present, he tucks the flowers in the crook of his arm, softly inhaling their exotic perfume, and picks up the box with his other hand. There’s a note on it. Obi-Wan can't help his heart from racing when recognize Anakin’s wobbly handwriting.

I miss you impossibly. I’m ready to listen, if you still want me.

Obi-Wan’s breath catches in his throat. He turns the card around and there it is, one single instruction.

You know where to find me.

Obi-Wan puts the card down with trembling hands. Anakin is back. Anakin is here. Anakin brought him flowers, which never happened before.

Enjoining himself to stay calm and to not throw away almost three weeks of hard work on his needs and limits, he brings everything to his room and sits at his desk to think.

The box contains one of Obi-Wan’s favorite essences of tea, as well as a little vial of perfume, something that brings vivid memories back when he smells it. There’s only one place where it can be found so either Anakin was sent to this system for his mission, or he made all the way there to bring him back something he knew Obi-Wan loved dearly.

Either way it makes his heart flutter all the same.

As much as he wants to go find Anakin, he still takes the time to put the flowers in a vase, take a shower and put on a drop of the perfume he's been offered.

It’s almost dark outside when he leaves his room, heading to the Temple’s rooftop. He knows Anakin is waiting for him there. It’s the spot where they spent many nights looking at the starry skies, Obi-Wan teaching the constellations and their mythology to his Padawan. It's the spot where Anakin hides when he’s angry, frustrated or sad and doesn't want anyone to find him, except Obi-Wan. It’s the spot where they kissed for the first time, awkward and sweet and so perfect. It's the spot where Obi-Wan spent sleepless nights after he decided to take a break from Anakin.

And now Anakin is there, sitting on the edge of the roof, in the exact same spot Obi-Wan saw him for the last time. The deep orange light of the sunset bathes him in warm colors, painting his curls and face in red gold. He had pulled his hair from his face, tying them in a neglected bun on the back of his head, letting the rest flow freely down his back. Obi-Wan loves how long they are now.

He approaches and Anakin gets up from the railing but he stays where he is.

“Hi.” He says hesitantly.

“Hello, Anakin.” Obi-Wan smiles softly, joining him to sit by his side on the edge of the roof.

Anakin sits back at a reasonable distance and Obi-Wan can see him swallowing tightly.

“I missed you.” He whispers, tucking his hands inside of his sleeves as if to prevent himself from touching Obi-Wan.

“I missed you too, dear one.” Obi-Wan replies. “How was your mission ?”

Anakin bites his lip and nods, looking at his feet.

“Good. It was interesting. People were very kind to us.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Obi-Wan smiles. “Did you make some friends ?”

Anakin nods again, to Obi-Wan’s surprise.

“Actually, yes.”

He gives a side glance to the older Jedi, cheeks turning slightly darker.

“I had interesting discussions with some of them. Made me understand a lot of things.”

Obi-Wan quirks an eyebrow, curious.

“Really ? About what ?”

“About… About love and relationships.” Anakin answers. “About hurting people we love even when we don’t mean to.”

Anakin turns to him then, giving him an hesitant look.

“You talked about all that with people you just met ?” Obi-Wan asks.

Saying that he was surprised is an understatement. But he’s also glad that Anakin found someone to talk to.

“I talked about you.” Anakin admits. “About us. I was a bit desperate, I think. I didn’t want to lose you. I- I didn’t think it would feel so… liberating.”

Obi-Wan blinks, wondering if he heard right.

“You talked about us to… random people ?” He repeats, just to be sure. “And it made you feel better ?”

“Don’t worry.” Anakin replies quickly. “They don't care that we're Jedi. They promised they’ll keep it a secret and I trust them.”

“That’s not… what bugged me the most.” Obi-Wan admits. “Do you want to share what you learned ?”

Anakin nods and then scrunches his nose.

“Rule number one, don’t fuck up the most beautiful thing happening in your life if you don't want to get slapped behind the head. Even if I think it helped me get my mind straight.”

Obi-Wan blushes a bit and chuckles as he imagines the scene in his head.

“But seriously.” Anakin continues, anchoring his eyes in Obi-Wan’s. “I’m sorry I’ve taken you for granted like… from the start. It’s so easy to love you I guess I just forgot to make efforts.”

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan bites the inside of his cheeks to prevent himself from saying it’s okay.

It’s not okay. He has to stop making excuses for Anakin. He has to stop forgiving everything, especially when it hurts that bad.

“Thank you.” He says instead.

“I hurt you.” Anakin keeps going. “I didn’t realize how much. I- I had a hard time understanding that it was not one bad thing, but several little along the way. I understand now, and I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan moves closer, taking Anakin’s hand in his own.

“I should have told you before.” He confesses also. “I should have been clearer and I should have set boundaries from the beginning but I was afraid to do so. So I guess we share the blame.”

Anakin squeezes his hand gently, caressing his skin with his thumb.

“I’m ready to make efforts, you know ? I don't ever want to lose you again, it’s… I can’t breathe when you’re away from me. I want you to be happy because I’m not happy if you aren’t.”

“Will you come to me when you're feeling bad ?” Obi-Wan asks.

“I’ll try my best.” Anakin replies, but it’s enough for Obi-Wan for now.

Wrapping his arms around Anakin’s shoulders, he pulls him into a tight embrace and Anakin immediately finds his place back into his arms, like a missing piece made to fit against his chest.

“I love you.” Anakin murmurs against his neck, heart beating against Obi-Wan's as it should be, always.

“Until the end of times.” Obi-Wan whispers back against his hair.

[antianakin]

I can't believe it's taken me THIS LONG to realize why Slick's whole speech feels weird and not explored enough. You're not SUPPOSED to believe him, any more than you're supposed to believe Anakin when he starts parroting Palpatine's propaganda back at Obi-Wan in Revenge of the Sith.

Slick doesn't ACTUALLY believe the clones are slaves or that the Jedi are keeping them enslaved. And even if he does genuinely believe that, it's not why he did the things he did.

Slick saying "I struck a blow for all clones" is just his version of "I have brought peace, justice, and security to my new empire." It's bullshit. Saying "It's the Jedi who keep my brothers enslaved" is just as reasonable as "I should've known the Jedi were plotting to take over" or "From my point of view the Jedi are evil." It's pure bullshit.

They're all EXCUSES to try to distract from the fact that they actually BETRAYED everybody and have done something unforgivably selfish that led to the deaths of many innocent people who once cared for them. Slick says he struck a blow FOR all clones, but what he actually did was strike a blow AGAINST the clones. Hundreds of the 501st and 212th died because of Ventress's ambush, and probably hundreds more died afterwards as a consequence of the destroyed armory.

And nobody buys it! Obi-Wan doesn't buy it when Anakin tries to blame the Jedi for his own choices, and neither Cody nor Rex buy it when Slick tries to blame the Jedi for his own choices. THAT'S why the show never follows up on this, THAT'S why we never hear them discuss the clones as if they were slaves again even in arcs where it would make a lot of sense to bring that back (Umbara and Zyggeria in particular). You're not supposed to see it as a genuine criticism that should be taken seriously. The writers expected everyone watching to understand that it was bullshit from an untrustworthy character who would say whatever he thought he had to in order to excuse his selfish actions.

THIS is why using Slick's comment as irrefutable proof that you're intended to see the clones as slaves and the Jedi as their enslavers doesn't work. The Jedi aren't evil or plotting to take over just because Anakin says they are to excuse their genocide. Similarly, the Jedi are not enslavers just because Slick says they are to excuse his betrayal that led to a lot of deaths (and would've led to MORE if the Jedi in question here hadn't managed to come up with an escape plan to get as many people out as possible). You aren't supposed to trust Slick, so his comments aren't proof of the writers' intentions.

[codywanreversebang]

Codywan Reverse Bang 2023: Masterlist Part 2

Team 7

Team 7 [Art] by @thatonetimetraveller

Deflect [5.3k] by @fanfic-obsessed

Later review of his footage would reveal that he protected his general with his general’s lightsaber for almost two hours before the battle was won. He never discussed how the lightsaber appeared to be helping him at many points, because that would just be weird. Right?

Team 8

CWRB Team #8 - Bread [Art] by @dontbelasagnax

sourdough: flour, water, and starting over [18.9k] by @shortcuts-make-long-delays

Did Cody need to be up at 3:50am? No, not technically. But he had graciously offered to take Fox’s Sunday morning shifts at their Uncle’s bakery. Donning Fox's red apron as part of a decade long joke, he works at the bakery as he attempts to figure out what he wants from life. The first time Obi-wan shows up to dinner at Anakin's after moving back to Coruscant, he arrives twenty minutes late with the bag of rolls in hand, and unable to stop thinking about the baker in the red apron. Fox, he's pretty sure the name tag said. Cody and Obi-wan are both just trying to figure out what it means to start over and make your own happiness.

endings mean beginnings [8.3k] by @inkformyblood

A misplaced delivery leads Cody to find more than he ever would have expected after returning to help run the family bakery.

Joys Found and Made [8.2k] by @thehatphotograph

Cody loves his work at the bakery, and he’s grateful to have it, but when he looks at the chair at the other side of his kitchen table he can’t help but feel it’s all a little bit… empty. When he meets Obi-Wan, Cody realizes there might be something to fill his days with other than bagels and babka.

Team 9

Team 9 [Art] by @raccoonclty

what changes and what stays the same [7.5k] by @mymblesbuir

All things considered, then, it's an understatement of epic proportions to say that Ben isn't expecting to be woken up in the middle of the night by Cody of all people holding a gun to his head and a finger to his own lips. Ben has been keeping himself to himself since the violent loss of his brother and sister-in-law on outbreak day, but when his old friend Cody shows up to recruit him for the Fireflies, his life changes once again... (Codywan Reverse Bang - The Last of Us AU)

Seal it With a Kiss [6.5k] by @drowning-inthe-feels

"You can’t fight, Obi-Wan,” Cody cut off the argument already forming. He dragged Obi-Wan closer and rested their foreheads together. “Get a head start. I’ll find you afterwards. I promise.” “Seal it with a kiss?” Obi-Wan pleaded, fingers digging into Cody’s biceps.

Team 10

Team 10 [Art] by @journen

Hold Fast [10k] by @bitwhizzle

Three years ago, Cody ran away from his feelings instead of confronting them. When a Spec Ops mission teams him with Ben Kenobi again, it's finally time to have a chat. During a heated firefight. As one does.

Got Your Back [7.7k] by @crownprincecody

"It could be worse, Lieutenant," Obi-Wan reminded him lightly. "At least our distraction worked." Cody's glower was entirely deserved and predictable. "Sir," he began, tone implying the words 'with all due respect' when there was none in the offing. "Our plan was batshit crazy and left us running on foot from our exploded, liberated ATV." Cody didn't need to look pointedly at the faint plume of smoke still visible at their six for Obi-Wan to understand. That was entirely true. But it had worked. And, given the way the mission had been a SNAFU from the start, Obi-Wan was keen on taking the win. "It worked, Cody," Obi-Wan said again, tone more gentle. There were no words to emphasise how much Cody hated it when their plans went off the rails. It's only supposed to be a milk run. In and out and no real trouble. It's why only two members of the legendary 212th Battalion are sent in. Pity life is never that simple.

Team 11

A Day at the Markets [Art] by @jaegrdrifts

Are You Going to Sundari's Market? [5k] by @nerjetii

At the tender age of fifteen, Kote knew Obi-Wan would be the love of his life. Alright, to be perfectly honest, he’d known that the moment the paper butterfly had come to rest on the tip of his nose. Age had only taken the tender feeling that had curled around his heart and warmed it, and turned it into a fire that smoldered through the year to become a raging fire when Market Day came around. Five Times Obi-Wan and Kote meet at the Market Day in Sundari.

Team 12

You Have Only Just Begun [Art] by @jaegrdrifts

as lanterns rising to the stars [28.6k] by vhetin

Obi-Wan knew the mission was going to be more than a few days, but more than a few days in Sundari was perfectly fine. It's everything else that happens that makes him take up praying to the Force and anyone who might listen. Luckily for him, someone is listening.

and then there was hope [42k] [WIP] by @reginastellaris

Years after the Jedi Order was forced into hiding, Emperor Sheev Palpatine rules over the lands with an iron fist. Close to extinction, the Order sends Obi-Wan Kenobi on a mission to destroy the Emperor and end his terrible reign once and for all. He takes with him the Order’s last pure kyber crystal, a tool able to grow stronger the more hope it is around to vanquish Darth Sidious. Obi-Wan knows it’s a suicide mission, but he’s made his peace with that. Until a group of Sith chase Obi-Wan into a Mandalorian temple where he meets the angel Cody, son of the God of War, Jango, who’s been watching Obi-Wan since he’s been thirteen. Together, they go on a journey to stop Sidious’ tyranny and find Cody’s brother, Rex, who disappeared five years ago. Will they be able to fulfill Obi-Wan’s mission? Or will they die trying?

[nonsense-and-nonesuch]

Star Wars 'What if?' AUs, Part 4

Part three here

Darth Bane’s Rule of Two never quite caught on, but the Sith of today don’t actually know much about each other because there’s so few of them. Palpatine’s plan fails in several key parts because another Sith’s plan got in the way. AND because the Jedi never discounted the idea that the Sith were back - because they never actually left. The Enemy of my Enemy is still my Enemy, and with the Sith all getting in each other’s way, the Jedi and clones manage to eke out a win.

Whatever happened to Dexter Jettser? I’m not knocking what Bail Organa did for the Rebellion, but Dex was Obi-Wan’s friend too, and he already had contacts in low places. So this story would have him either following up on all the things the Jedi Order never had time/experience for (who really ordered the clones, who was the Sith Master, how can we issue a shutdown order to all the Separatist droids?) during the war, or else afterwards he helps give the nascent Rebellion a huge boost.

Anakin gets apprenticed to the most appropriate possible person - Nico Diath!  Who is also from Tatooine, has a family home there in fact, and in canon his Padawan was his nephew. Also, Nico felt a burning hatred for slavery in general and Hutts in particular. Anakin finally gets to (help) free all the slaves, and Nico helps teach him about attachment and the perils thereof, and how to love your family without being so possessive of them you fall.

Supposedly it was one of Darth Plagueis’ experiments with midichlorians that led to Anakin’s birth - what if he was born to someone else? Shaak Ti could be good. Breha Organa would be too young, unfortunately. Mother Talzin would be interesting, especially since males aren’t valued on Dathomir - would Anakin take Maul’s place in canon, or would he be so powerful she’d keep him with her? Or, what if he was born to An’ya Kuro, aka Dark Woman. She’s got very unusual, and cruel ideas about proper use of the Force (while still considering herself Light!) and how to teach it. But would she consider a ‘Force-sent’ pregnancy something she would follow through on?

Or maybe Dark Woman is the one to find and apprentice Anakin. If you know anything about her, you'll realize this could be a story just as dark as canon, but I’m suggesting either Anakin ran off like Jon Antilles did, or Jon and his friends (Nico, Knoll, Fay) found him and removed him from Dark Woman’s influence.

Speaking of Dark Woman’s former padawans, one of them was Aurra Sing. A misunderstanding led Aurra to start developing a lifelong hatred of Jedi, and she killed several of them. What if Sidious decided to have more than one ‘Jedi Killer’ as his clone template? Supposedly Force Sensitives can’t be cloned because they turn out brain dead since the Force knows who they are, BUT either you can ignore that or - harvest the DNA, kill Aurra, then create the clones. She’s not alive for the clones to be affected by.

Or, canonically Aurra was on Tatooine watching the Boonta Eve Classic. What if she decided to try and take Anakin as her padawan?

Aurra Sing got kidnapped by pirates (which she thought Dark Woman arranged as part of her training), but what if she got rescued by Mandalorians? I’m thinking True Mandalorians, so she would be there to keep them from dying/getting killed like in canon. She faces off against the Jedi on Galidraan, some of them recognize her, and after it’s all over she goes back to the Temple just long enough to tell them how messed up Dark Woman’s training is, before leaving again. This leads to the Jedi Council taking a closer look at how initiates and padawans are taught and making changes, which ultimately, when combined with the True Mandalorians becoming the leading faction on Mandalore, derails Sidious’ plans.

Next idea involves a time crunch - Obi-Wan’s time on Melidaan (or Mandalore, protecting Satine) coinciding with the clones being taught on Kamino. Early in the process (when the oldest clones are physically 10-12) the clones rebel and escape Kamino. They either end up on Melidaan and help the Young take down the Elders before helping them set up a new community together, or they end up on Concordia trying to track down Pre Viszla so one of them can challenge him for the Darksaber and the clones can become the newest faction to rule Mandalore. Or they don’t have enough fuel/need an emergency landing and end up on Melidaan on their way to Mandalore. Basically a lot of teens and tweens getting their Lord of the Fly on, but a happier ending where they kill all the bad adults (including Sidious and Plagueius).

The Jedi Temple is apparently on top of some type of Force Nexus which allows it to be much bigger on the inside than outside, and they have a giant menagerie full of plants and animals inside it. Sounds like a great place for all the Jedi in the Temple to retreat to when Darth Vader and the 501st come to kill them all. And who really knows how a Force Nexus works? Maybe enough force sensitives crying out for other Jedi to help/to stop the clones from hurting their friends transports the whole Temple (and maybe all Jedi around the galaxy) to, like Lothal or Tython (and fries all the chips).

Barriss Offee is the one sent back in time, to her child body, young enough in the midst of her freak out she runs into a still-alive Sifo-Dyas. She tries to pass off her future knowledge and panic as dreams of the future, he talks about his own visions, and Barriss ends up explaining what his visions meant. Together they start a new Jedi schism aimed at non-violence in order to prevent the Jedi being involved in the coming war.

Apparently Etain Tur-Maken was in the Temple during Darth Vader’s attack on it and died defending a group of younglings. What if Anakin was completely not shielding his mind while leading the attack and when he got near enough he heard her thoughts about her clone lover, Darman, and their son? He’d start thinking about his unborn child with Padme and just…stall out.  Consider also that he could then look around at the children and see a bunch that, coloring-wise at least, look like him and/or Padme. Etain manages to subdue Anakin while he’s caught in a mental maelstrom of worry for his unborn child.

After the Rusaan Reformation, the Jedi took the rule of dismantling their armies to mean no more Knights. All the Jedi on Coruscant are part of the Services Corps (Agricorp, Exploricop, Educorp, Medicorp). Anyone wanting to use lightsabers on a regular basis or be a warrior monk ends up transferring to one of the other temples (or maybe they have their own Temple on, like, Tython or Lothal). Palpatine falls into the same misunderstanding that the Senate has, thinking that the majority of the Jedi are the ones on Coruscant, so his ultimate plan for taking over the galaxy is different since it doesn’t involve clones chipped to turn on their Jedi. Then when Palpatine stages his takeover he’s blindsided by the large number of Jedi Knights that had been wandering around the galaxy fixing problem ‘as the force wills’.

[grapenehifics]

Chapter 65

(Link)

At this point I'm kind of losing track of what I already said vs. what's in my head, so if I didn't say it, I picture Mr. Plo's shop as Roman Customizing from the 1990's Disney Channel TV show Brotherly Love (which is still very watchable, btw, highly recommend, if I could ever talk myself into writing platonic Obikin I would happily write Obi-Wan as Joe/Satine as Lou, Anakin as awkward middle brother Matt, and Ahsoka as sunny youngest child Andy, with very-much-still-alive Shmi as Anakin and Ahsoka's mom/Obi-Wan's stepmom).

I had a summer job at 14, and do not in fact recommend it. (The job itself was fine, but I look back now and was like, what the fuck was I doing, let 14-year-olds have fun, jesus.)

Obi-Wan's first response, after Ahsoka telling him she got a job, being 'congratulations!' and only *after* that asking which job it was, just tickles me.

Obi-Wan strikes me as a person who would be uncomfortable bringing a private family photo to work and uploading it to his work computer to make it his desktop background, so he printed it out and framed it and set it beside his desk instead, and his actual desktop background is, like, the plain blue screen that comes with Windows when you first plug it in.

Half an hour before my first high school orchestra concert was due to start, my high school boyfriend comes to me with absolute panic in his eyes and tells me he doesn't know how to tie a tie. I didn't either, so I think we fastened it with, like, safety pins and called it good. Afterward I went home though and asked my dad to teach me to tie a tie. (We can discuss, later, about gender roles and expectations, and why didn't my boyfriend go to HIS dad and ask the same thing, because it was his tie in the first place. But I was sixteen, what did I know. Anyway.) So, next concert, I'm like, give me your tie, I'll tie it on me and then hand it back to you. (This is the mental image I was going for with Obi-Wan and Anakin at Anakin and Padme's wedding.) I ended up with a *queue* of teenaged boys all asking me to tie their ties. And I continued to do this! For the next two years! Every performance! High school, man.

Originally I was going to do more with the Anakin/continuing education plotline, but it ended up morphing into Obi-Wan going to a conference (again; I know that already happened once) and that subplot kind of fell by the wayside.

Valley Technical Center is a real place and, last I checked, you could study airplane mechanics there.

Anakin being mad about his bus pass running out of funds and not getting refilled is a callback to chapter one. All the way back to chapter one! I posted that back in July! We were all such different people then!

Now I'm sad we never got a canon scene with Obi-Wan taking Anakin and Ahsoka to Dex's. That would have been fun.

When I used to have cable I swear there was a Golden Girls marathon on every Sunday. Not that I'm complaining, Golden Girls is great, but it was a lot of Golden Girls.

I might as well have put blinking neon lights at the top of this chapter, this is about me being sad about not being able to go to Sunday afternoon Dodger games during the pandemic. (I realize there were more important things to be sad about. But that was on the list, for me.)

Do kids still play with Tinker Toys, or am I dating myself, here? (Or maybe Luke and Leia's daycare still has toys from the 80's.)

This story, in a lot of ways, is meant to be about Anakin realizing that he has had the power to make his life better all along. That's part of the way I read his fall in canon - he's so desperate for love, respect, affection (from Padme, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, the Jedi) that he already has. He just can't see it. In this story, or this part of the story, he's starting to look at his life, realize he's unhappy...and then instead of wallowing in that and making it worse, he starts to take concrete action to make it better. And the journey to that, and learning the tools that lets him do that, is why this story is so fucking long. Ha.

I love the 'parenting by committee' Anakin does for Ahsoka's birthday in this chapter. This isn't meant to be an indictment on his parenting in the slightest - I think it is non-sarcastically great that he puts Obi-Wan in charge of cake and Padme in charge of dinner and himself in charge of taking her to the DMV and Mr. Plo in charge of finding her a loaner car. They all, individually, have enough on their plates. Breaking it up into manageable chunks is the way to go.

That first solo drive after you get your license - Ahsoka uses hers to go see Korkie - it's a great moment. I still remember mine. I drove to the supermarket and bought ice cream. I am a very predictable person.

[littlelichen]

My master's daughter Anakin Skywalker Fanfiction

Chapter 1: A Heartbreaking Past

!English is not my native language!

Obi-Wan's perspective:

Anakin and I entered the room and stood in front of the council.

- Thank you for coming. - Yoda began. - Sorry we interrupted the preparations for the mission, but we're giving you a new task.

- What task? - My ex-padawan asked excitedly.

- War is getting worse by the day, we need strong Jedi who rely not only on strength, but also on their wits. - Windu stepped forward and projected a map of Cato's Neimoidy.

– Several schools have been established in the city of Zarra to teach and to increase tourism and population. It has been reported that a human school is home to a student who has used the Force more than once. The planet is neutral in war, it was even thought that it would be better to report it, since who knows what the consequences would be if it were placed on the dark side of the Force. - While speaking, he showed me a map of the city and the floor plan of the school. - Your Task: To find the girl, to observe her, and to bring her back. You will be given 2 weeks to complete the task. 1 week is the observation and 1 week is the return journey and explaining to her what happened. From what I've heard, her mental state is pretty unstable, but he'd become a wonderful Jedi.

- Alright and who's the person you're looking for? – Asked. The council members looked at each other and raised their gaze to me sympathetically. Yoda stood up and walked in front of me, then looked deep into my eyes.

- Before we tell you, I would like to inform you that the mission is a must, but the so called " problems" solution to the afterwards is only when you are ready. - I frowned, but nodded firmly. 

- I understood! - Yoda didn't seem to be satisfied with my answer because he tightened his eyes, but nodded and went back to he place, while Windu came ahead. 

- The person is looking for ..... - Effect break. - Alessia Kenobi! - I looked at the approx the hologram of 20 years of chestnut hair and brown eyes girl.

- Kenobi? - Anakin looked at me questioningly. 

-Obi-wan.- Mace said and grabbed my shoulder. - We know you have made a mistake in the past, but we will not punish it, you have solved it by letting you and now you have to go back. - Anakin didn't say anything, but I saw that he wanted to talk to me. 

- All right. - I sighed and retrieved my tears. I can't break. - Tell me everything. - I asked softly. 

- Linda didn't survive the birth, so her boss, Marian, adopted her, but she and her husband died in an accident. Marian had a son Alexander Comet, a few years older than Alessia. - The hologram showed a man with a red -haired and stubble with gray eyes.

- They moved to Zarra, where Alex works as a mechanic and Alessia goes to school. Here he met Conrad Spacestar, his best friend. -

- Alessia has no friends, but everyone respects her wit and special abilities. For the time being, you need to know.

-----------

I stood silent on the balcony and watched the night sky. After a while, quiet steps heard from behind me and Anakin stood beside me. He let me gather my thoughts. 

- When I was young, I made a huge mistake, the juice of which was drank by an innocent woman. - I remembered Linda and that night. I closed my eyes and tried to let go of the memories when I saw the tearful face. - A woman died because of me and my daughter couldn't have a normal life because of me.

- Master. - He grabbed my shoulder and I looked at him. - Everyone makes mistakes. 

- Yes, but we are Jedi. 

- And people. Believe me, you're not the only one who made a mistake, but you know what I realized? - I raised my eyebrows questioningly. - You can fix what you have spoiled. - He smiled. 

- When did you become so wise? - I laughed and he started laughing, but I have to say he was right. I may not have been with it for 20 years, but I can make it good.

[foundfamilynonsense]

Ok but in the Ahsoka leaves the order arc… Ahsoka was in the wrong.

Ahsoka is my favorite character but like, she was wrong. She was wrong to escape and she was wrong to run around and try to solve this by herself and the reason she did it is probably because Anakin taught her some bad lessons.

Honestly I feel like the whole fandom suffers from Main Character Bias in this arc like. If it were Barriss seen doing all that (video footage of her seemingly force choking that woman, escaping prison and running into the undercity and being found next to a shit ton of evidence) no one would blink at the order expelling her in order to be judged by the courts. The only issue people have is that she’s a main character and we like her and know she didn’t do it.

Like the only real issue I had with it is that if Ahsoka had done it she would have done it Better than this. And the council should know that. Ahsoka wouldn’t be this stupid if she had actually blown up the temple. But like. What is the council supposed to think?

Everyone’s like “they knew ahsoka they should have known she couldn’t do that” but like they also knew Barriss. They also knew Krell. They knew it had to be a jedi and they trusted every jedi. And they didn’t even find her guilty. They just said you have to face trial without us. And then when she was found innocent at the trial they welcomed her back.

Mace was kinda an ass saying it could all be looked at as some big test like :/ yikes ok. But that’s still only one line and it’s a stupid ass line so I’ve elected to ignore it.

However, I do think Ahsoka was right to leave. Not because she would do better as a “grey Jedi” (not a thing, completely fandom made). Or that the Jedi were corrupt and whatever. But because she realized she couldn’t understand what being a Jedi was during war time which is valid.

Like, she was angry at the council. I believe that anger was not justified but hey sometimes you just get angry. She was wronged, and even though it was, at least partially, due to her own actions, she’s still allowed to be angry about it. And she obviously just couldn’t figure out how to let go of it.

So what were her options? Go back to the order and pretend she’s not angry? No! That’s why Anakin fell you can’t just shove your emotions down. Or she could leave and figure herself out. Go back after the war was over and try to learn what being a Jedi actually is during peace time. She legit gave up power because her emotions were getting the better of her and I think that makes her the best example of someone who uses the light side of the force.

I think a lot of her contradictions were from having Anakin as a master. Anakin loved her, and was good to her, but he did not understanding the emotional side of being a Jedi. And therefore couldn’t quite teach it to Ahsoka.

Remember how in the Mortis arc Ashoka’s older self tells her “you may never see your future if you remain his student” and “there are seeds of the dark side in you planted by your master” like yes exactly. Ahsoka handled this whole “being framed” thing very badly. Because she assumed this is how Anakin would have done it. She had assumed the key card had been left by Anakin. And afterwards she was obviously really, really angry. Which… she also got from Anakin. So she took her older self’s advice and she LEFT.

Like damn what a good character arc for her. Understanding her own flaws and weaknesses and realizing she needs to step away? Like that’s a Good. Thing. Hot damn.

And we see bits and pieces of how the council respects her for her decision. Obi-Wan let’s her take half the 501st to Mandalore even though there’s literally been an attack on coruscant. Yoda and Mace welcome her into a Jedi war meeting and ask her if she’s planning on rejoining. They don’t tell her everything but damn they probably wouldn’t have anyway she was just a padawan and this is kinda big shit.

I just… love Ashoka’s arc ok? I love it. The fact that she was definitely planning to go back, too? So good. And I get annoyed that people take all of Ashoka’s agency away, let her go guilt free “she did nothing wrong the council was bad owo” and therefore take a lot of the self discovery aspects out of her leaving the order. I think it hurts Ashoka’s character more than it hurts the council.

And like, I know filoni wrote this as a “the jedi council is wrong” like whenever he talks about it but fuck that. Yeah they were wrong, I guess, in the sense that Ahsoka wasn’t guilty but I feel like we’re once again blaming the council for not knowing something it was literally impossible for them to know. Like Obi-Wan says in season seven, yeah the council isn’t always right. They’re not gods. Imagine how angry people would be if they had caught Barriss in the beginning and decided to stand by her despite evidence against her? Imagine if they did that with Krell? They can’t win.

Anyway, please respect all of Ahsoka’s arc of making mistakes and learning and growing from them because it’s amazing and so is she. Leave the council alone they’ve done nothing to you. Ok thanks.

[phoenixyfriend]

In Which Palpatine Leaves the Door Open

So, @purronronner suggested this on discord:

au where anakin finds out about palpatine during clone wars era like, coming in for a visit and overhears a conversation with Dooku about war planning he’s been pulled between palpatine and the Jedi/obi-wan/various things but I want to see him pulled between palpatine and his men could go either way on the sith part of the reveal even

palpatine is not aware! unless anakin’s course of action is to go “hey palpatine I must have misunderstood something right? :(“

(This was a group effort but there's a thing I wrote that requires this context so please bear with me.)

I'm just imagining Anakin backing out, closing the door, and turning to the Corrie Guard by the door to say a thing... and not finding words.

Eventually "Did you guys know he was evil?" "He's a politician, sir." "But like the evil ranting..." "He's a politician. Sir."

He's willing to use his men to save R2, but that's because R2 was part of the team and helping, not arranging battles to make things worse.

Anakin: Normally, I'd go to Palpatine to talk about my problems, but right now he is the problem... Obi-Wan and Yoda are off-planet.... Anakin, phoning up Padme: Help?

Per @atagotiak we also have some Intense Thoughts

Oh hey. The deception arc. And the subsequent argument that we don't see and stuff. Like there's all the ways you could justify it especially from an opsec standpoint (If Anakin acts like that around Padme why would anyone assume he can keep a secret about anything?) And it was a pretty tactically important thing for the war as far as anyone knew. But just. I've heard some people say that perhaps also Obi-Wan reasoned that hurting Anakin is an ok price to pay to make sure someone Anakin cares for doesn't die for real which seems plausible enough.

Anyways. My point is. Anakin gets a front row seat to sheevception when he actually sorta knows whats going on. Gets sidetracked halfway through yelling and stuff to think about how convoluted this whole mess is.

For more clone-centric things all the times Palpatine's like "I wish I could do more, it's truly regrettable, but..." Would just seem awfully fake now.

Anakin, belatedly: Wait, does this mean that, behind all the layers of bullshit, Palpatine was the one trying to kill Padme at the start of the war???

WHICH IS WHAT LEADS TO A WHOLE LOT OF FUN and yes this is the part I'm sort of proud of.

Okay so: Anakin's a shit liar, yes?

After he meanders over to Padme and has a breakdown, he then goes off to tell the Council about all this. I imagine she goes with him as moral support, and also because she wants to protect him from them calling him out on his legitimately terrible decisions. They're trying to come up with a plan to take Palpatine down without tipping their hands too early, because they need to investigate; for the sake of this plot point, we'll say that Palpatine mentioned a contingency plan while talking to Dooku, even if he didn't directly name the chips.

Someone mentions that Palpatine is going to ask to see Anakin, because he does regularly. And, as experience has shown, there is very little that will stop Palpatine from insisting that Anakin come see him. They can stall for a bit, maybe, but not for long.

"You could send me to the other side of the galaxy," Anakin suggests. "Short notice, so sorry, won't be around for a bit."

They point out that won't work forever.

"So... arrest me, or put me on a mental health hold?" Anakin tries. "Say I got violent at civilians or the clones for no reason and you need to make sure I won't hurt him, and then even if he visits me in the cell, I don't have to act normal 'cause he'll EXPECT me to be upset."

Palpatine presumably has spies all over, so he'd know that hadn't actually happened. Also, Anakin's too important to the war effort for anything short of a cold-blooded murder of an innocent, and they can't just take him off the field without an absolutely massive violation of the Code or his orders.

"Tell him I Fell," Anakin offers.

A Sith Lord would be able to feel that from across the galaxy, if it had happened, especially with the amount of time that he's put into grooming Anakin.

"Oh," Anakin says, and his stomach drops out as he realizes that he can either keep his secrets, or keep people alive.

He thinks about how Palpatine had targeted Padme already, and how if Palpatine thinks Anakin's betrayed him, then he'll probably do that again.

He thinks about 'a Sith Lord would know' and realizes... well.

Anakin values his freedom, but he also values his men, his padawan, his master, his wife... the wife that's in danger if Palpatine knows that Anakin caught him out.

The Order has to keep Anakin away from Palpatine. They need an excuse to arrest him. They need an excuse to hide him away, one that Palpatine won't question too hard.

A Sith Lord would know if Anakin fell. Even if he came back afterwards.

"So... so tell him you found out about the Tusken Massacre."

The what.

"...tell him you found out about the time I actually did Fall," Anakin says, squeezing Padme's hand. She knows. She's the only one who knows, on Coruscant, other than the Sith they're hunting. "On... on Tatooine. You can claim it was an anonymous tip. He already knows about that one. He's one of the only two people outside Tatooine that do. He might not question it."

(He won't question it.)

What did you do, Skywalker.

"I killed... a lot of people. A Tusken tribe. Including the children. Right before the war hit."

----

It's a hell of a way to fall on his figurative sword.

(Mace is... both impressed that Anakin would take the hit to make sure they can handle the Palpatine problem, and horrified about the Massacre, because... who wouldn't be.)

(Mace is unfortunately Anakin's main handler on this project.)

Anakin puts in so much effort, all the time, into not Falling, so it’s surprisingly (terrifyingly!) easy for him to fake a 'near miss' with the Dark just by thinking really hard about things that make him angry. Nobody wants him actually Falling for the ploy if they can help it, but they need to sell the bit, and Anakin's... well. He's Anakin. It's easy to think about his own emotional volatility until any control goes out the window.

He's sacrificing a lot for this mission! It's fine! He's fine!

(Padme, the council is judging you so hard right now.)

Palpatine comes to visit Anakin in prison, and it is very easy for Anakin to disguise his anger as... a different anger. I have a very intense mental image of Anakin working himself up into a frenzy when Palpatine comes to visit, and then at some point in the following conversation he just snaps something about how "you said they were animals who deserved to die."

The Council can even eke it out a bit, make it so they don't want to admit why Anakin's in prison or under a psychiatric hold or whatever they claim it is, so their "I'm hiding something vibes" look like "I'm hiding the fact that one of our most recognizable war heroes just came clean as a mass murderer and we have no idea how to handle it" instead of "I'm hiding that we know you're a Sith Lord and are working to take you down."

Obi-Wan comes back from an off-world mission to find out that Mace arrested his former padawan and Ahsoka hasn't stopped crying for three days because nobody will tell her what's going on.

(The Council decided this couldn't be risked on even an encrypted comm.)

(They maybe tell him soon enough? But also they might treat it like the Hardeen thing and use his reaction as fuel to keep Palpatine convinced.)

SKYGUY GOT ARRESTED AND NOBODY'S EXPLAINING WHY.

Rex is overwhelmed because it's been his job to keep her calm.

Anyway, padawanship has been temporarily transferred to the grandmaster. You were half-training her anyway.

Insert a subplot about Obi-Wan being horrified and betrayed and aiming the feeling at Padme because she knew about the Tuskens and never told.

[gch1995]

That is funny. All Jedi are actually slaves. They don't have a right to own property, they can't marry whoever they want and they obey the Council. They are even recruited like slaves, taken from their families without any choice.I don't know how Ahsoka even can leave the Order when a jedi needs to be watched closesly and not build up ties with the rest of the people or he/she may fall to the Dark Side.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but as they are written as an overall institution in canon, I honestly think that force-sensitive humans and beings in the galaxy of Star Wars would generally be better off if they never got involved with the Jedi Order at all. Like, it’s tragic to realize that the most consistently happy, secure, and well-adjusted point in Anakin Skywalker’s horrendous life was when he was living on Tattoine in physical slavery with his mother. Then, afterwards, that happiness was far too brief and fleeting for the next 34 years of his life. Sure, part of it is his own fault for committing all those crimes he knew were wrong out of anger and fear of the unknown, but not all of it is. The fact that his agency was constantly compromised to ever be able to find healthy support or feel safe doing any better by all of these deeply abusive, arrogant, corrupt, hypocritical, manipulative, oppressive, self-involved, and willfully negligent authority figures within these two space soldier cults for their own ends certainly wasn’t his fault, but he did have his own selfish and vindictive motivations, too.

If we’re going by Luke Skywalker’s new Jedi Order, particularly in Legends (Disney canon keeps screwing up his character), I don’t think it would necessarily be too bad as an optional day camp or law-enforcement job for training with the force and helping out the galaxy on the side. As long as they are old enough and well-adjusted enough to be handling weapons, they get to have a fair choice in the matter of being a Jedi or leaving any time they want, I don’t think the Jedi Order has to be unhealthy.

However, for the most part, I think most of the force-sensitive characters we meet in the canon series do so much better in their lives without ever getting involved in either the Jedi Order or the Sith at all. They often end up becoming deeply dysfunctional adults who develop serious behavioral/impulse control issues, dangerous ends justify the means type morality, poor critical thinking skills, and poor self-awareness because they have been groomed to have little to no self-confidence in their own moral integrity and personal agency, and rarely break out of it.

It’s not just Anakin and the other fallen Jedi who grow up to be deeply problematic tragic living disasters with those toxic mindsets in the series either. Look at Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda. They are supposed to be the “ideal” Jedi of their time, but they’re still pretty awful and broken people as adults, anyway. They can never can take true personal accountability for fucking up. They are always in the right, the “blameless victims,” or the “noble failures” who were taken advantage of because they were too nice in their minds. However, we repeatedly see them deliberately betraying, controlling, deceiving, endangering, harming, manipulating, murdering, neglecting, and/or oppressing anyone who either acts a potential threat to or can be of use to “greater good” of their cause or desire to fit in for security without much concern for the potential consequences of their actions and decisions or remorse for the individuals they are sacrificing for their cause.

Even their moments of self-awareness suck because they still can’t admit that they followed a fucked up system that cost them a lot of people because they became too afraid to do the right things under pressures of corrupt authority, facing the unknown, and war. Anakin dies with more self-acceptance and self-awareness than either Obi-Wan and Yoda do throughout the entire series in the last 15 minutes of ROTJ, and he became one of the main villains of Star Wars.

[deaconusdelirium]

The Bad Batch with a Jedi Reader

———

No you aren’t with any Batchers in this fic, you’re a close… ‘friend’ I suppose

Some friends and mutals asked questions about them so I’ll throw them in here

———

•Before the Batch had you, they were pretty much rogue clones who looked nothing like clones. They took orders from no one but did when the time called for, but then again, they almost always went and did things their way.

•After meeting you, they immediately fell on board and treated you like you were utmost royalty and respect with every cell in their body. But they weren’t assigned to you yet, so it was a wonder why they did and still do that

•After learning that they could join you since you had no squad, they did. A few things changed, they had to adjust to having another member on board, a woman of all things.

•Hunter and Wrecker were smooth as butter to get along with, it takes a few minutes to match with Echos personality, Tech is pretty chill but he speaks in large words like a dead tongue, and Crosshair was an absolute bitch to get along with. He always brushed you off and mocked your plans

(•) if they have Omega then, then she’s very open and loving. She’ll be closed for like 30 seconds the first time you meet her but then will act like she’s known you all her life. She’s very happy theres another girl on board and mainly just because that meant another Batcher

•It takes awhile for them to include you in on all their plans since you have to remember all their moves, but it’s pretty easy considering what talent is theirs. Echo and Tech was pretty tricky since they both knew how to repair ships and mess with data pads/technology but it soon came clearer and now you know what they can do

•Only then they realize how much easier it is when they have a Jedi on their team. Instead of taking cover all over the place, you block out shots or redirect them. They’re very glad you joined their team shortly after since your so handy, especially with the force

•Speaking of the force, whenever you all are just chilling and relaxing, they’ll tell you to move a few things. One time, you managed to get into Wreckers head and make him say a few things. Everyone laughed since Wrecker didn’t remember, they’ll ask you to do it again or try it on them. Crosshair has to be the hardest since he’s very closed off, but with enough luck or focus, you can get in

•Another thing with the force they like is when you can get them into places they couldn’t before. Like a bar, 79’s, you’ll tell the bartender to give the drinks for free and they just absolutely love it.

•It doesn’t take long, no more then a week for them to even consider you as family. Wherever they go, whatever they do, they always think of you. Like, how would you act under this situation? or I wonder if Y/n would like one of these/ We should get Y/n this and that.

•Wrecker will tease you just as much as he does to his brothers, especially punches. They hurt. Hunter talk about anything with you, he’s very comfortable and open with you. Echo feels like he can finally have a decent and nice conversation, he’s known you since you worked alongside Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan so he jokes around with you. Tech will absolutely let every piece of knowledge he knows onto you, telling you this and that, you even give some facts too, he loves it. Crosshair is a bit reluctant but once he gets comfortable at his own pace, he probably almost always stays close to you afterwards.

•Speaking of Crosshair, he trust you with information not even his brothers know about him. And he pretty much lets his walls fall around you, he knows you can feel his emotions, he tries to deny it at first but then once you explain just how he feels, he’s amused. Finally giving in, he stays around you most. Why should he leave the only person who feels what he feels alone and vulnerable? After a lot of thinking, he treats you a little different, he’s very loyal and not as hardheaded or rude as he is to the others, very kind. And he even makes jokes!

•During the day, you all have pretty much nothing to do, so you’ll land somewhere other than Kamino, and just walk or sit there. Sometimes they like to ambush you for practice, Hunter likes using hand to hand combat so make sure to only use hands, but when he uses his knife is when you can use your lightsaber. Tech will set up smoke bombs and set them off, they don’t know you can feel them through the fog with the force, sometimes he sets up traps for you to undo and all. Wrecker is also hand to hand, but him, you have to be more flexible and have quite a bit of agility to maneuver around him. Crosshair sets his shots to stun, and he’ll be shooting from far away. Using your lightsaber is best going against him. And Echo pretty much uses blasters, but he has a few tricks up his sleeve to mess with you

•They always try different tactics and if you can’t take them all, they know the plan is good. If you can win but it’s a bit of a challenge, then they’ll keep it but use it for weaker opponents. The ones you win too easy are forgotten and never talked about again.

•How does Dinner time go about?

-They don’t blame you if you don’t know how to cook since they know Jedi training is brutal, hard and very time consuming. So they never tease you about it. If you do know how to cook a decent meal, they’ll eat it. They always eat the same meal on Kamino and it’s disgusting and annoying, so their glad theres different food they get to try. If you’re like, top tier chef, all compliments will go your way. Wrecker asks for seconds, if not thirds. Sometimes they have you make them snacks, or they just feel like helping.

-They don’t mind going out to eat, it’s just the money. But then again, it’s always good to try something new. So you all take this time to talk and relax, joke around. They even made a designated seating chart after Order 66, since if any clones are around, they can protect you, or sometimes some guys and civilians get to touchy-flirty with you. They also use that as an advantage to pick on someone. If Omegas there, she’ll glare at whoever’s talking to you, if she knows something is about to get serious, she’ll grab her headpiece stuff it in her pocket and ruffel her hair to get it into fighting shape

•How close and protective are they around you?

-The Batch never leaves you. If someone asks them to go somewhere or they need help. Then the guys say no and continue in your steps. Wherever you go, they go, and it’s set for life. When you tell them to go on and do something, they’ll try to negotiate their way into staying with you or you tagging along. If they can’t, their reluctant to leave, but hesitantly go. They comm every two to five minutes asking if you’re ok

-Now for as protective as they are, they’re pretty possessive in their own way. Not greedy, no, more along the lines of keeping you safe even if it means laying their life down. However you don’t want that so they ease off. If someone they don’t know comes up, they all listen in on what their saying, or if they seem sketchy, they all rely on Wrecker to be the intimidating heavy he is and stand behind you with either his helmet on or off. Whoever is bothering will pretty much leave you alone, if not, there’s four other men there

•What if you were granted the rank of Master?

-They’re all there when your given the rank of Master. They know you’ve earned it and they will salute to you. After you all leave, they’ll tease you a bit. Calling you general even though you told them not to call you that, they’ll still say it because they think it’s fun. If they didn’t have tremendous respect for you then, they do now. Now, it’s officially either a holiday or anniversary the day you got ranked to a Master Jedi

•What if you dated them separately?

-Hunter would feel like the luckiest soldier alive. How could he, a genetically modified clone, get with a Jedi? There’s no way this is real, he’s a huge gentleman. He loves when you spend time with Omega, especially when you make her laugh

-Tech is probably the most grateful one. He stops to think about his relationship with you every now and then or it just pops up in his head whenever he’s working. He realizes that he has someone who is wise, calm, patient, and loving with him. It makes him blush

-Echo pretty much knew you before the Bad Batch did, so knowing that he fell in love with the one person who basically commands him, but doesn’t, loves him back is one of the greatest things in life he’s ever gotten/received. He never plans on letting you go

-Wrecker is easily pleased. Just the smallest thing, he finds very entertaining and interesting, so when you both got together. He was over the galaxies, this is easily one of the best feelings he’s ever felt in his life. He loves training with you or just being the good lover he is and carrying you around with ease. He’s goofy

-Crosshair is shocked to say the least. You fell for him? Why? He’s not complaining, he just finds it hard to believe you love him. Then, whenever he has a bad day, he’ll think about you and say, “Y/n actually loves me” and he’s just in total disbelief. It’ll brighten his day, coming back to you is one of his favorite things to do

———

🌌

[pandora15]

Whumptober 2021 Day 9 Prompt: Tears

When Obi-Wan asked to borrow the Twilight, Anakin assumed it was for a short trip or mission or something.  He didn’t really think much of it, mostly because Anakin always asked for favors from Obi-Wan and he assumed that this was Obi-Wan cashing in on that.

But then he didn’t return the next day.

Or even the day after.

When Obi-Wan finally did return to Coruscant almost a week later, he didn’t even tell Anakin.  He had to find out from Master Windu, of all people.

But as soon as he knew, Anakin made his way to Obi-Wan’s quarters.  As usual, he didn’t bother to knock — Obi-Wan had always said that Anakin was welcome in his quarters at any time, and he made it a point to never change his locks for that reason.

But when he walked in, the quarters were empty.

And it struck him then — at that exact moment, standing alone in Obi-Wan’s quarters, that something must have happened.

Obi-Wan was never the one to hide from Anakin, to disappear and not want to be found.  He was the one who always reached out to Anakin and made sure he was alright, even when Obi-Wan himself wasn’t.

He was there for Anakin, always.

And in return, Anakin—

Well, Obi-Wan never really acted like he needed Anakin.

Sighing, Anakin looked around the common area.  The only indication that Obi-Wan was even in-Temple was the sight of his commlink, left abandoned on a side table, blinking red from the countless number of unread notifications.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin called, raising his voice.

When he got no response, he walked into the kitchen, noting the dusty counters and cooling mug of tea, before he checked the bedrooms, the balcony, and the storage closets for any sign of his former master.

“Where are you?” Anakin muttered as he stepped back into the common area.  It was obvious, at this point, that Obi-Wan wasn’t even in the apartment — and that he probably didn’t want to be found.

And normally, Anakin would let Obi-Wan be.

Except there was something in the Force that was telling him that he really needed to find Obi-Wan, sooner rather than later.

With that thought, Anakin left the quarters.  He first walked over to the training rooms and poked his head into each room, finding no hint of Obi-Wan having been there at all in the past few days.

Afterwards, he went to the Archives, where Jocasta Nu said that she hadn’t heard from Obi-Wan in at least a month.  Anakin left in a huff, wracking his memory for anywhere else Obi-Wan would go.

He made his way up to the Room of A Thousand Fountains, distantly remembering that Obi-Wan usually meditated there whenever he needed a change of scenery.

Anakin walked through the gardens for what felt like hours, but there was no hint of Obi-Wan having been there in the past few days.  By the time he finished exploring all of the levels, he felt all gross and sweaty.

He had no idea where else Obi-Wan would go.  Anakin supposed Obi-Wan could have left the Temple to go somewhere else on Coruscant, but according to the Temple dockworkers, Obi-Wan didn’t check out a Temple speeder since returning to Coruscant.

Anakin was tempted to check the Council Chambers and briefing rooms, but considering Master Windu was the one who asked about Obi-Wan, he had to assume that he wasn’t in either of those places.

Which left…

Mid-step, Anakin froze.

Wait.

The thought struck him out of nowhere.  Anakin blinked, looking up at the ceiling of the corridor just outside of the gardens, remembering.

At that exact moment, Anakin realized that he knew exactly where Obi-Wan was.

In a split-second, he was running to the nearest lift.

Obi-Wan needed him.

--------------------------------

The memorial was tucked away in a faraway corner of the Jedi Temple.  Anakin didn’t go there that much — it was never really anywhere close to his frequent haunts, and there was something almost off-putting about the room that always pulled him away from it.

That being said, he knew that Obi-Wan went there sometimes.

Every year, right around the day Master Qui-Gon died, Obi-Wan would go to the memorial.  Anakin went with him once — back in the early days.  He remembered seeing the giant slabs of stone with thousands of names carved into its surface.  He remembered Obi-Wan stopping at the end of one of the stones, letting his fingers run over the stone’s surface until he stopped just over Qui-Gon’s name.

Anakin remembered the stillness in Obi-Wan’s features.

And it was at that point that he’d decided that he’d never come back again.

Not because he didn’t miss Master Qui-Gon.  Anakin missed him and his mother desperately.

But he couldn’t just — he couldn’t.

Besides Qui-Gon’s death anniversary, Obi-Wan went to the memorial seemingly at random.  Anakin never really asked him what it was he did there — all he knew was that if Obi-Wan disappeared for a few hours without explanation, he was probably at the memorial.  He couldn’t really bring himself to ask Obi-Wan about it, so he never did.

Until now.

He barely remembered how to get there, but eventually, Anakin found himself standing before the great slabs of stone.  There were far more stones in the memorial than he remembered, far more names scratched into the surface of the stones, and…

Obi-Wan, sitting right where he was all those years ago, hunched over himself with palms pressed to his face.  As Anakin walked closer, he realized that underneath his cloak, Obi-Wan was wearing armour of some sort — Mandalorian armour?

But that meant that…

Anakin blinked.  He vaguely remembered a news broadcast about Mandalore, about the planet falling into ruin, and the Duchess…

Obi-Wan’s shoulders were trembling.

Something clicked in Anakin’s mind.

Oh, no…

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin whispered.  He knelt down next to his former master, keeping his voice quiet and gentle, just in case Obi-Wan didn’t sense him coming.

A quiet, hitched breath, and then—

Obi-Wan’s hands moved away from his face, revealing the tears streaming out of his eyes into his beard. 

At the sight of it, Anakin almost recoiled.

Obi-Wan never cried — never.  He didn’t cry at Qui-Gon’s funeral or in the weeks that followed; he didn’t cry when the war began or when they’d gone through battles that resulted in devastating loss for Jedi and clones alike; he didn’t cry when he discovered that his own grandmaster was the leader of the Separatists.

He just never cried.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin repeated.  He leaned forward, slowly.  “Are you…are you alright?”

As soon as he said it, Anakin knew it was a stupid question to ask.  It was obvious that Obi-Wan wasn’t alright, considering the fact that he was actually crying.

Well, he never was really good at the whole comforting thing.  Padmé always teased him about it, but he never really thought much about it, if he was being honest with himself.

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan pulled a hand up to his eyes and rubbed at them furiously.  The breaths escaping him slowed down as he struggled to regain control, but the tears continued to fall from his eyes.

That was when Anakin noticed the bruises on Obi-Wan’s face, along with the way his hands trembled with every passing second.

“Hey,” he said gently, “it’s alright.  You don’t need to hold yourself back, Obi-Wan.  If you need to cry, you should just…let it out, you know?”

He remembered hearing Obi-Wan say something similar to him, not long after he’d lost his arm, but at the time, he’d thought it was stupid.

Now, however…

“It’s just me, Obi-Wan,” he heard himself say.  “I’m here.”

Anakin pulled himself closer, until he sat right next to Obi-Wan, who was shaking his head and staring at the stone once again, eyes fixed right on Qui-Gon’s name.

“I’m right here,” Anakin whispered.

They stayed there for hours, until the sun descended beneath the sky and cast the memorial in a midnight glow.

(Pandora’s Whumptober 2021 Masterlist)

[antianakin]

I'm gonna toss your tags on here, too, since I'm kind-of responding to that, as well.

The amount of times I started an AU and it went WILDLY in a different direction than I thought are too numerous to count. Half the time I start an AU it's out of some level of bitterness or spite towards something I didn't like and then I spend a lot of time on those questions that are like "Wait would this character ACTUALLY do that? Is that ACTUALLY how they'd likely react?" and of course the most frustrating "Is that actually how I WANT them to react?"

My Caretaker Luke AU was supposed to basically be a very bitter answer to the question of what would happen if Vader actually survived ROTJ, and then ultimately it became an exploration of what might actually help Anakin HEAL in that situation, what would it take to truly help someone like him genuinely come back from that darkness he'd stewed in for almost three decades (because no matter what kind of sacrifices he made, there's NO WAY he'd be completely snapped back to being a good person if he survived, that bitch is STRUGGLING). I made an Obitine AU that looked at how miserable Obi-Wan would've been if he'd actually stayed with Satine and married her when he was in his teens and that ALSO ended up with an exploration of how to save Anakin (though for different reasons this time). Sometimes these fuckers have a mind of their own and the more I take myself down that rabbit hole the further from my original concept I seem to get. It's not always a bad thing, often it's still really fun, but it's such a weird experience to look back at all this work you've done and not quite understand how you even GOT here when this isn't where you thought you were going when you started.

I made a point in the last AU I came up with to just... ignore some of those questions to focus on what I WANTED to happen (in this case, I was ignoring how Padme realized Anakin wasn't good for her and how she managed to actually escape him and that relationship and what path Anakin went down afterwards as a result because I just wanted to focus on Padme's NEW relationship and how that helped HER heal). Why did things happen? Because I wanted them to, next question.

And while I'm not a writer really by any means, it seems like a lot of writing is just... finding a balance between following that rabbit hole and seeing where it leads, and knowing when to say "This thing happens because I want it to in order for the next thing to happen." Not everything NEEDS an explanation, but it can help YOU to flesh out the culture and its intricacies and where certain traditions and feelings came from in order to lend a feeling of authenticity to the story even if you never actually explain any of it in the final draft. Even if you don't end up using any of the purity culture stuff you put in your last reblog, hopefully it was still helpful to think about how you might answer some of those questions and work through what parts are important to keep and which parts you think ultimately don't work.

I found your thoughts on how the clones might end up feeling about the idea that their "species" as such might eventually disappear really interesting! I also personally tend to think of them as their own "species" in a lot of ways, but that's usually for my own internal purposes rather than a way to consider how the CLONES think of themselves. I often have only really considered how the clones differentiate themselves in terms of their lived experiences and not necessarily in terms of their physical differences. They're obviously visibly human and would pass as human to most people and I imagine there's probably plenty of clones who would prefer to simply be considered a slightly augmented human rather than considered a whole separate species, while other clones would prefer the opposite.

I really respect your willingness to consider how the clones might end up with problematic values as a result of their experiences, to give them qualities you would personally consider unlikable. I'm not quite as good at that, so I really admire the way you work through some of that, even if you ultimately decide you don't like it and don't want to use it in your worldbuilding.

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.

[newswcanonprompts]

Anakin is sent to negotiate with Gardulla the Hutt bc of the success of the Jabba mission (no one in the Council knows Gardulla used to own him)

editor’s note: there is actually a fic that came from this, by the lovely @primeemeraldheiress! here is the link

this one is SUPER angsty, sorry in advance, i missed the original conversation about this prompt and when i got back online everyone was yelling about it, when i read what they did i was in *shock*. like ow. anyways have fun

After being so helpful in rescuing Jabba the Hutt's son, Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up being sent on a mission to help Gardulla the Hutt because Anakin hasn't told anyone about his history with her

Possible reactions from Gardulla:

"Skywalker? I owned a human like that, her brat always caused trouble. Good riddance!"

What if she decides that since he's back in her territory that means he belongs to her again

.....gardulla hears him try to call obi-wan master and tries to buy anakin from him (Gardulla asking if obi-wan is anakin's master and anakin being in such a messed up mental space that he says yes, trusting that Obi-wan won’t let her buy him)

Obi-Wan wondering why Anakin is being so specifically arsey with this Hutt. "Force you're worse with her than you were with Jabba."

"Oh yeah, she bought me and my mother. I think I have a reason to dislike her."

The council meeting afterwards where obi-wan rails on the council...

Obi-Wan suddenly getting a horrible feeling whenever Anakin calls him master because he's known the contexts were different but now it is real and in his face

Like it's a different thing for Obi-Wan to know his padawan used to be a slave compared to looking his padawan's former master in the eye and seeing her current slaves.

Anakin manages to control himself in the throne room but the whole way there and back he can't help worrying that one of the really old lash scars that curls around his shoulder will be noticed, that his identity as a former slave will be exposed

anakin not being able to call obi-wan master on tatooine like. point blank. he starts addressing him as master and just. flinches.

anakin usually wears his heart on his sleeves right?? always shows his emotions, feelings, all that. Well, the closer they get to gardulla's palace the blanker his face gets

Ahsoka calls Anakin master and Anakin just grits out a "Please don't call me that, not here."

Obi-Wan suddenly realising why Anakin comes across as arrogant as times. He's spent his entire life trying to up his value because there's safety in value.

Anakin telling them not to use the name "Skywalker" while they're in the palace

Anakin's accent shifts so entirely to the point where it almost sounds like Obi-Wan's because he's so determined to not slip into old roles

Anakin having to be physically held back from getting into a physical fight. Not even using his lightsaber, he just wants to fight

Or, alternatively, all the fight just going out of Anakin because he knows, here, it'll just make everything worse. So he's almost.... compliant and it freaks everyone out

Ex. from @youngcreativenerdgoddess: Obi-Wan is terrified. His former padawan is the most resigned he’s ever been. He looks so....defeated. A look one would never expect on the vaunted “Hero with no fear”. All the fight was gone from him, and that scared him more than anything else in this force-damned war had.

Obi-Wan actually being the one about to lose his temper and then Anakin just puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him there's no point.

Consider: instead of anakin being angry he was sent on the mission, being resigned because of course he was, he knew Gardulla bes

Anakin comes across as an almost perfect Jedi for once in his life and in the context it is horrifying

Anakin’s report to the council is so matter of fact because he thought they knowingly sent him on the mission because of his past experience with Gardulla

Obi-Wan finds Anakin writing what he thinks is a CV then he sees the numbers next to it and it is his estimated value--"for the gardulla mission, if she finds out who I am she'll try to rebuy me"

After the mission, from @jasontoddiefor: "Failed you, we have," Yoda said, his voice full of grief, and Obi-Wan watched in horror as Anakin only titled his head, for once looking his age and not the years the war has aged him. 

"What do you mean?" Anakin asked, not understanding.

Examples of bits and pieces from this prompt:

Ex. from jasontodiefor: Anakin in the corner of her palace having a breakdown because he remembers memories he had thought gone, his mother's shouting and the tearful begging and the pain, pain, pain and he hadn't meant to break the vase, it had been an accident, please stop it hurts, Mom-

jasontodiefor: "A game of chance." 

"What?" 

Anakin doesn't look up from his hands, doesn't meet Obi-Wan's eyes. He hadn't since they'd arrived here. "I'd still be here like them if not for a game of chance. I'd be worth more than just a few credits too. Force-sensitive, young, good with mechanics, pretty-"

Ex. from Ro: Obi-Wan has never seen Anakin this silent before. There were nights before, when they were both younger, Obi-Wan himself still trying to heal from Qui-Gon's death and Anakin trying to get used to the temple. And Anakin would get quiet, but he was never this stone cold silent. Never this blank. He's so emotional, Obi-Wan's former padawan (his child), so open with his heart on his sleeve. There is none of that here, none of that bright boy. Anakin doesn't fight it, and that is the thing that worries Obi-Wan the most, because when Anakin doesn't like something he fights, he lashes out with teeth and sticks his heels in. But in this, he is resigned. (Anakin doesn't let Ashoka off the ship. She fights and argues but Anakin doesn't move, doesn't joke. He stands firm with it and Obi-Wan watches.

"Master, I—" 

Anakin flinches, "You're staying on the ship, Ahsoka, that's final." She huffs and leaves, and the only thing Obi-Wan can see is how relieved Anakin looks. There is something wrong here, but Anakin has never liked talking about Tatooine, and Obi-Wan has never pushed.) Obi-Wan has never hated a mission more.

Another ex from jasontodiefor: "But-" 

"You're young," Anakin interrupts her sharply. Ahsoka hates it when he cuts her off. It doesn't happen too often, mostly on the battlefield when he's barking orders at everyone. If anything, he lets her speak out of tune more often than he should or other Masters would, but right now his voice doesn't leave any room for agreement. "Young, underage actually, and female, that's the first 10K. Extra five if they don't sell you as inexperienced, and only stupid slavers would do that, but as a virgin."

Ahsoka pales. Anakin's voice is harsh, but there is an almost easy flow to his words, as if he had recited them in his head over and over again. "Force sensitive, that's next. Another 8K regularly, but you're a Jedi, so that's 20K. A Padawan, mind you, but you're a known face next to mine and Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan would fetch 40 for his status as a Jedi and councilor alone. And you're a Togruta, you sell better than a human girl. I'd add another 6 for that."

You sell better. Not you would, there's nothing hypothetical about this, Ahsoka realizes. Anakin's narrowing down what would happen to her if somebody just managed to grab her lightsabers, to put a collar around her throat and cut her off from all that she had ever known. "Now, that's just your base value," Anakin continues. "You're also a pretty good mechanic and pilot, though the latter makes your flight risk much higher. Given how dangerous you are, let's say 10K. You're a strong fighter, so you could probably get another 8K in the arena, perhaps a little more depending on what planet you're sold on. Your political value also can't be overlooked. You fight at the front and know much more about the war effort as a whole and that's worth much more, probably another 15." Anakin holds up his fingers like he's counting apples and now how much people would be willing to brand her as theirs. "So we're roughly at 70. That's not bad at all. Not as much as Obi-Wan or I would get, but it's more than enough. You're not coming on this mission. End of discussion."

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Anakin, Obi-Wan and Luke things that somehow just hit me now:

All three of the prequel trio die at the end of ROTS. Padme literally dies, Anakin dies to become Vader (one more casualty), and Obi-Wan dies and becomes Ben

Which means Ben's statement to Luke that "I haven't gone by the name of Obi-Wan since, oh, before you were born," is actually true--though Padme and Yoda called him Obi-Wan, he was a different man (and also technically it was a second before Luke was born soooo)

Anakin and Obi-Wan both are willing to let countless millions be killed because they can't bear the death of someone they love

And both of their responses are echoes of a previous trauma. Anakin's was failing to save--first Shmi, and then Padme--and he reacts with violent rage. He makes an active attempt to try to save them, and causes devastation by it.

Obi-Wan's, on the other hand, is an echo of a failure to stop. A failure to stop Anakin from succumbing to the dark side, to stop Anakin from lashing out in anger, a failure to stop Anakin from falling into Palpatine's hands. But Obi-Wan leaves to fight Grievous and, as the dark follows the removal of the light, Palpatine is there. Obi-Wan leaves what used to be Anakin on Mustafar, and like ash follows fire as it burns away what was, Sidious is there.

And all of these failures are because they love.

Obi-Wan returning to Tatooine with Anakin's son, watching him have the childhood Anakin should have had, and himself living much like young Anakin had--afraid and alone, trapped on the same desert planet, waiting to be found. He even has a new name. He's literally starting the story over.

AND THEN HE TRAINS LUKE.

And you can see him thinking "this time I will do it right. This time it will be different. This time, he will bring balance to the Force..."

Luke treats him almost like a grandfather, which is truer than he realizes

Ok but since I'm apparently on a New Hope kick now, somehow I never understood that Obi-Wan was mimicking a Krayt dragon call to scare off the Tuskens??? I thought they all just ran bc he was the "scary wizard man" but this makes so much more sense (also the Mandalorian references this! And the Kenobi book (which I think is technically Legends now) does as well)

OBI-WAN SAVES ANAKIN'S SON FROM THE TUSKENS...HE SAVES ANAKIN'S SON...FROM THE TUSKENS...protecting what Anakin could not...

"Hello there! Come here, my little friend. Don't be afraid! Oh, don't worry, he'll be alright." Obi-Wan talks to R2 like he's a living thing, with thoughts and feelings. He talks to him like Anakin did

Also the Force/Jedi/Luke's theme that plays as Obi-Wan says those things? Drawing parallels between him and Luke as Jedi and forces of good and also showing that they are connected somehow...which of course!! is through!!! Anakin!! So it plays when he speaks to ANAKIN'S DROID

"I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid" BECAUSE HE DIDN'T BECAUSE R2 WAS ANAKIN'S,,,, AND ANAKIN CALLED R2 HIS FRIEND AND SAID DROIDS WEREN'T PROPERTY AND NOW OBI-WAN SAYS THE SAME THING AHHHHHH,,, and the little smirk he shoots him afterwards!!! My heart

When Luke is explaining that R2 is what brought him out to the wastes Obi-Wan looks at him with so much suspicion like

Like does this face not scream "what in the world are you doing--why did you bring him here?? Don't mess this up, and don't you dare say anything...!"

And also didn't he literally bring R2 and C3P0 to Tatooine???????? Now R2's here like "listen here you old fart we both know you remember me, stop being coy, this is IMPORTANT" and C3P0 is as dramatic as ever and just look at how Obi-Wan looks at them both...he remembers so much

Also also how sweet is it that after all this time R2 and C3P0 are still together?? They're trailing threads of Anakin and Padme...so of course they're together when they're with Luke! Because he is both Anakin and Padme, so he's where they were both meant to be!!

Anyways yeah I could keep going and I know I've said some of these thoughts before but I kept thinking about it and it was literally like the Kronk "it's all coming together" meme so I had to share lol!

[thewriterowl]

hey owl it’s me i’m in your inbox now. i politely ask your headcanons on dins reaction to finding out about all the things luke has been through but NOT from luke, could be lukes friends, random people who witnessed or even people in the squadron so i can sit here and go 🙃 about lukes trauma

Hello my dear @elloitselmo!! Oh you bet I would be so happy to share this to the world! Our favorite topic of every day:

Let's all make it clear in the fact that sweetheart Luke has SUFFERED. The boy has had so little luck in everything he has faced but has come to be a gentle, forgiving, hopeful and kind young man despite everything he has gone through. Now, whenever Din makes any inquiry about it, Luke just brushes it off as not very interesting or not very different from other's with a hard past...or he'll explain things very simply.

Luke: Yeah, I've lost family (meaning "My mother died giving birth to me, my father's soul practically died then but I just was told he died after believing he abandoned me, my aunt and uncle died and i found their bodies, my mentor who became a father-figure died and I witnessed it, my best friend and possible crush died and I heard it, my TaunTaun died in front of me, another close friend of mine died behind me and I witnessed his body then get crushed, many in my squadron died and I witnessed it, my second mentor died, and then my not-dead father died!")

or

Luke: Like a lot in the rebellion I went through some hard times (meaning "I am an Empath and was unaware how much I felt on people dying and how it affected me, went through loads of gruesome horrible battles, have had a lot of experiences and witnesses of death, had to go through a soul/mind/body breaking training to get prepared to face a genocidal monster who had been training almost non-stop since he was nine, found out this genocial monster was my father--so i tried to kill myself cause I sorta lost my mind for a second, had my best friend get kidnapped, went through tons of missions, was nearly drowned by someone who hated me for who my father was, been tortured, faced the Empire, was tortured again, had to carry my dying father in my arms, have my father die in my arms, burn my father alone, made sure to feel and experience death with thousands of people so they wouldn't be alone...oh and that was just after i was nineteen and up to twenty-five! I didn't cover being a kid or afterwards...I've had some mental break downs...but just little ones :D")

So Din just isn't aware. Luke always does have a layer of sadness or exhaustion even with how happy and bright and sweet he is with everyone, but nothing to make him think that Luke should be a really broken person after all that he has suffered through. He believe he has just a "normal" amount of sadness from growing up in a very broken galaxy.

Then, he learns the whole truth (maybe Anakin or Yoda or Qui-Gon comes in through a dream, cause apparently right before Luke meets Din Obi-Wan moves on into the Force so, hey!, another sad moment, Luke can't see him again) and whooo-boy...Din snaps.

So instantly, Din would just be sitting there after whoever informed him of everything leaves. He would probably be sitting for a few hours just...thinking. Stewing really. He would be unable to comprehend all that he learned about Luke and just cannot begin to really function for a while because he pretty much has PTSD listening to the years of misery Luke has gone through. He potentially gets sick or may have a moment to cry to himself because how could Luke suffer so much but still be that gentle and kind??

For a bit, Din is a bit torn. He is not one to take away a person's free will or choices...but he is terrified to realize he no longer really trusts Luke with his own well being and doing anything safely. Nor does he true the galaxy in not throwing more terrible experiences Luke's way (fic idea: we've heard of Luke having a vision of his future of the sequels--but when it Din had it?).

I think it will get Din to make a few clear decisions quickly:

1) He was to put a lot more effort and focus into being Mand'alor so he could use the connections, authority, and power to change as much as he could of Luke's life and make sure he is happy and safe.

2) He was going to find a way to marry Luke if they aren't married already.

3) Luke will be adopted as an official Mandalorian.

4) Luke will be a Mandalore citizen...and therefore needs to follow Mand'alor's rules and laws.

This means he will ensure Luke is protected, carefully tended to, and cannot just jump on his X-Wing whenever he has a vision and potentially go get himself killed because he does not value his own life like he should.

He wants to go on a mission? Well, he needs clearance for that--and to speak with the king and his advisors and just can't take off into airspace without informing anyone. If it's not approved (and it rarely would be) then, welp, Luke just has to stay put and not go get himself hurt because he feels like he must be a meat-shield for the galaxy.

Leia would be a little worried on the idea at first but, well, her brother would disappear without telling anyone and get hurt.

Then, Din would begin to talk to Luke.

He'd ask for details to get things confirmed and he'd start looking for a Space-Therapist so Luke can get some professional help in facing the horrible past he had suffered from.

Din will tell him, "No, cyar'ika...that's not normal. no, no that's not normal either. Is that...no, that is unhealthy...and that's heartbreaking and...No...holy hells, love, you'e never leaving our bedroom ever again." for everything that comes out of Luke's mouth and when he tries to play it off as nothing to worry about.

Din probably does have a few cries and/or bonks his head against Beskar to try and knock himself out to not think of any of this painful truth.

Luke, who is just sitting all confused with a mug of hot chocolate is all, "Did i tell you about the time I was nearly sold into slavery?"

Din is in agony.