#and now.. i interpret his words as it's fine if the world is destroyed as a consequence of my actions

[amelikos]

Exchange between Lucius and Gibeon in the most recent trailer.

[disco-troy]

I don't feel like people have a nuanced enough view of Kory what she thinks about killing. She's not blindly wanting to murder criminals, nor is she delighted by the actions of murder. She sees murder as a necessity because of her upbringing in the middle of an existential war, and also as a way to regain autonomy on her life. Autonomy is a key theme in many of the people Kory chooses to kill.

The idea of autonomy over the body and her life is extremely important to Kory. This makes sense, Kory spends six years in slavery, her life not her own, and grew up knowing her planet could lose its own autonomy and freedom at any time.

When she was a slave, the few times that she was able to control her life in those times. Her first kill was her kill of what would become her last master, starting the chain of domino that would result in her freedom.

Note her words: "His very touch sickened me". It wasn't just about her imprisonment or her anger, but about her body, her autonomy. She couldn't handle being touched like that anymore, and killed knowing that it would solve nothing, knowing that it would lead to more punishment for her later down the line.

Her next kill allowed her to escape, securing her freedom and her own autonomy.

To escape she must pretend Kory has completely given in to her captors. That she is fine, even happy with the Gordonian touching her. But by doing this she is bringing him close, giving him the illusion of control over herself to secure her own freedom.

She is pretending to be a slave, while affirming to herself that she is still a soldier.

In this way we can see a dichotomy that has ruled Kory's life until now. On one side, you have succumbing to subjugation, which involved a loss of bodily autonomy. On the other side you had her claiming her freedom and her autonomy which comes with the need to kill or be destroyed.

In addition to this, you need to think of the context of Kory's upbringing. Of course Kory is used to killing her enemies. She grew up in a climate of fear in which there was a real possibility of total annihilation. Millions of her people died in the war that eventually lead her to being sold as a slave.

She grew up during a society that could have been destroyed in war, where everyday killing was not a questions but an existential threat. Killing and war was literally the only way for her people to conserve their autonomy.

This disconnect between Dick/Donna and Kory is not because Kory is an alien, but because the Titans are living in a world where they are superheroes and Kory is living in a world where she is a solider. Would a Kory that didn't kill even been able to come out alive from war? From her enslavement? To her its about her autonomy and her independence, she doesn't have the luxury of morals, of thought, of choice.

Later we see Kory not change, but shift. She realizes that killing will never be easier for her again.

This makes sense! her interpretation of killing has changed a lot because she's been exposed to a new environment. On earth she is not facing a literal war, she has real power, she has backup, she doesn't have to fight every second for her freedom and autonomy.

I think this is demonstrated in an incredibly narrative compelling way in Titans (1999) when Kory kills to give another character autonomy over her own body; Adaline Kane. Adaline is about to die, but her blood can still be harvested for Vandal Savage's experiments. She begs for death, instead of living that fate.

Kory gives it to her.

(much like Slade gave Joey in Titans Hunt but this post only has the space for one parallel right now)

When it comes to protecting the greater good, and especially when it comes to bodily autonomy Kory is not only willing to kill, but sees it as her duty.

She's never stopped being a soldier, she's never stopped being the Tamaranian who was forced to kill and see her people die to preserve her home, but more than that, she never stopped being the little girl for whom killing was her only way of reclaiming her autonomy.

[quipxotic]

Why can't it be both? Why can't the Wildmother's visitation with Orym be both loving and manipulative? We know the gods are looking for champions because of the current situation (see the events with the Crown Keepers), but also the Wildmother has been offering support to Orym for a while now so it's probably not just about the current fight against Ludinus.

What actually happened in c3e104? When Orym asks about Aeor, the Wildmother shows him a vision of the deaths of two of the gods to (in my interpretation at least) convey the pantheon's (and her own) fear about that situation, with the implication that that fear impacted their actions with Aeor and drives them forward now. And when that vision hurts Orym, she offers her love and some time with Will to comfort him. And then she makes his sword a vestige to help in the fight to come. All of that can be kindness and sincere love, without a demand for anything in return. But she must also know from generations of dealing with mortals that mortals given gifts and attention from a deity are more likely to fight for them than let them be destroyed.

Maybe the word "manipulation" is the problem? Maybe we should call it influence instead? After all we keep hearing that, because of the Divine Gate, the Exandrian Pantheon can't act directly in the world but they can influence people in it. So what's the difference between influence and manipulation?

Is the goddess distorting Orym's perception of reality? It doesn't seem so, in fact the vision she shows him lines up with what Bell's Hells has discovered independently. The only thing new there is how the gods felt about it, which BH could easily guess even without the vision.

Is she trying to convince him to do something he doesn't want to do? Orym has said many times he wants to stop Ludinus from releasing the God Killer and destroying the gods, which is what the gods have said via messages to their followers they want as well.

Is she being dishonest about her intentions? Given this is a vision conveyed with feelings and not words, it's hard to say this gives any additional insight as to the Wildmother's intentions beyond what we already know. But, for all that (relatively) vague messages may frustrate the person receiving them (can't help but think of FCG here), they also allow the person receiving the vision the freedom to make their own interpretation about its purpose and their own response.

But again, this is a time of crisis. Any gifts or interactions with the gods right now HAVE to come with the awareness of that crisis and how the pantheon's needs impact the interactions' timing and content. They want mortals to act in support of them right now, so this is not business as usual for the gods or the existing or potentially new faithful. I guess your mileage may vary on the manipulation vs influence divide, but for me it's a bit of a mixed bag and I'm fine with that. I can see in the Wildmother's vision both kindness and genuine love while also acknowledging (whether as a primary intent or a secondary benefit) that it also serves to encourage a goal or action that isn't about either feeling.

[shantechni]

One thing I greatly appreciate about the 2012 series is that Raph's temper is rarely ever shown to be entirely on him, which might be hard to believe, but it's true.

Pivotal episodes that focus on Raph's temper are Turtle Temper, Slash and Destroy, The Good, the Bad and Casey Jones, Newtralized!, and Mutant Gangland.

Turtle Temper

We get our first front row seat to how Raph tends to let his anger carry him away to the point that the mission and his brothers became an afterthought, and everyone is right to be upset with him. A random, smacktalking slob isn't the end of the world, but after 15 years of hardly interacting with anyone other than your family, it only makes sense for him to be angry that this total stranger is managing to tick him off. But no one downplays the situation or tells him to just, "stop getting mad," they more or less told him to stop letting his anger do the work. Splinter said it best: "It was I who made his [Shredder's] words into weapons. That's the choice I made. What choice will you make?" Translation, you're allowed to be angry, but it's what you do with that anger that determines the outcome of things.

Slash and Destroy

This will always be in my top 10 favorite episodes solely for being such a good scenario of Raph's anger being a poison to someone he cares for, not just his family, but Spike. Firstly with his family, he's right to get mad when his comics are ruined, or when Leo constantly sticks up for Mikey, or when Donnie's experiment gets out of control and nearly hurts Spike. It's the accumulation of those things that makes him lash out and eventually take the mutagen to his room, greatly to the dismay of an already apologetic Donnie. Anyone who lives in a full house knows: he feels disrespected and stifled, going so far to wish he were out on his own.

Now for Spike, we obviously know the mutagen messed with him in more than a physical sense, but it's clear that Raph's angry venting didn't help either. Not only did Raph push his brothers away when they weren't intentionally agitating him, namely Donnie, but he's largely responsible for Slash's desire to get rid of his brothers. Slash thinks his and Raph's tempers are what make them stronger and better than the others, that they could be doing so much more without them. Raph doesn't agree with him, not even a little, because for as much as his family gets on his nerves, he'd miss them way too much to ever leave them.

When Splinter told him to meditate on it, he wasn't dismissing the fact that Raph was rightfully upset, but that he was letting his anger run on again. He needed to stop and think about why he was angry, and understand that Donnie didn't mean to nearly hurt Spike. That even though he treasures those comics, they're just comics at the end of the day. Whether or not he would've reached that conclusion without the loss of Spike is up to interpretation, but Splinter reminds Raph that he still has his brothers.

The Good, the Bad and the Casey Jones

It's a tried and true concept, but it never fails to be a good concept when Raph and Casey's tempers clash. Before that though, we once again see Raph lose control of himself due to his family and he's clearly bent out of shape over his lack of control, the guy attacked Leo without warning and has his brothers flinching away when he yells at them. His statement is an interesting one: "This always happens. I'm fine until those guys push my buttons. It's not like I was trying to hurt Leo. They just don't get it." Now couple it with this one from Leo: "What are you saying, Raph? It's not that you are angry, but we make you angry?" Raph goes on to refute that question before somewhat proving himself wrong when he snaps at their teasing.

The situation is never truly resolved because Casey leads some Foot Bots to the lair, but it's clear that Raph is half accepting and half in denial of having anger issues, and his brothers don't quite understand it themselves (explained by why they teased him and unknowingly made him feel like they weren't taking him seriously). But Leo seemed to get an idea from the earlier teasing when he tells Raph they were just "busting his shell." He doesn't say it with malice or like he was wronged, he's fairly apologetic despite the humor written all over him. And, in a way, Donnie and Mikey alleviate the situation in their own way by not reacting too much to Raph's outburst, or even when he returns. Donnie slips out a short quip and leaves it at that, because they know Raph just needed some time to himself without them messing around.

Newtralized!

The bigger focus of this episode is obviously the Newtralizer's plot for the Kraang and Slash's redemption, but Raph's temper is still front and center from the first minute of the episode. Though it's a fact that we've seen on display before, Raph getting angry because someone he cares for isn't being careful enough is still an important point, especially now since Raph is close enough to Casey to be angrily worried about his wellbeing. Though it's never directly addressed (Raph's argument is that Casey is holding them back and getting in the way), Raph learns over the course of the episode to not exclude Casey just because he's not as skilled as them.

Mutant Gangland

Lesgooo another favorite--starts rubbing my hands together. It might even be slightly higher than Slash and Destroy because Raph is less angry and more frustrated that he's stuck in the training phase with his brothers, feeling like they aren't doing any better when they can't go all out on each other. It's understandable, they just barely saved Earth from the Triceratons but most of that can only be attributed to Fugitoid's "sacrifice", then the Triceratons were the ones who finally put an end to the Kraang, not the turtles, and Shredder is still out there somewhere with his henchmen roaming the streets. Outside of feeling outclassed during their conflicts in outer space, Raph feels like they aren't doing enough.

But, since Raph pinned the blame on Splinter taking Leo's side, saying he's forcing them to hold back and that they clearly don't understand how he feels, Donnie saw an opportunity and shot back at Raph with the usual insult of him complaining about Leo all the time. That obviously makes him feel worse, and he storms out in typical Raph fashion. Splinter sets the boys straight though; aside from telling them that he won't always be there to play mediator, he tells Donnie straight up that he should grow up and could've responded in a more mature manner. They all need to learn to stop feuling the fire that is Raph and understand where he's coming from, and Donnie sees this in person when him and Mondo go after Raph and Raph doesn't immediately accept his apology.

(Excuse me as I geek out over season 4 being the season where we see them grow out of their bad habits, like Leo rushing Donnie to do something, the guys unnecessarily angering Raph, them underestimating Leo, and not taking Mikey seriously. Like, they still happen, but the boys quickly recognize when they've messed up and I just-)

Don Vizioso and his gang blows a hole in everyone's day of course, but by the end of the episode, Leo and Donnie apologize to Raph (who wasn't used to getting so many apologies at once), and Splinter reminds the turtles to not let their conflict separate them from each other.

-----

...So yeah I just really like that Raph's temper is handled nicely when it's threaded with the conflict of the episode, idk lol-

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: you fall asleep on isaac's shoulder while he's working.

WARNINGS: none!!! :D

COMMENTS: ASGHFDHSAGD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR IKEVAMP!!!!! i literally adore isaac sosososososo much he is so cute :((( I HOPE I WROTE HIM WELL!!!! :D

OH YEA tagging @dove-da-birb because i think you said you wante dto be tagged ahgsdhas

The weight of their head on Isaac’s shoulder snaps him out of the concentrated trance he’d found himself in. He turns his head, slowly and with bated breath, and feels his cheeks flush bright red at the sight that greets him. Sure enough, they’d fallen asleep on him. He should probably wake them up, he thinks, but as they breathe softly and their chest rises and falls and he watches, he’s not thinking much at all.

He couldn’t understand why they’d insisted on accompanying him for his late-night research session when they had other things to do. There was no reason to do so since he’d gotten by completely fine on his own, but they hadn’t backed down. Isaac was notoriously weak to them anyways—anyone in the mansion knew he would have said yes no matter what. They had a way of making him feel calm, like his existence wasn’t torture, like he didn’t constantly make mistakes and misunderstand the people around him.

They were quite the paradox. They laid themselves out to him like an open book, and yet he couldn’t read much of the words. Over the weeks they’d known each other, he’d learned how, but most of the pages were filled with jumbled words he didn’t understand and beautiful pictures he couldn’t interpret. And yet they were never a cruel teacher. They were the most patient person he’d ever met, guiding his hands across the gold-lined pages and helping him sound out the words that lead him through the paths of their heart. Sometimes, the words he found helped him find the way through his own heart. It was undoubtedly a beautiful thing, and although it was void of the equations he’d depended on his whole life, Isaac found himself less frightened by the day.

They would never hurt him. They treated him far too gently for that. Always there with a kind word and a nod when he began to ramble, always there to tell his housemates to knock it off with their teasing but often teasing him themselves, always there to hold his hand and ask him if he needed a hug at the end of the day. They prepared him tea on nights when he couldn’t sleep, too focused on his research and knowing he’d pass out at his desk and wake up with a blanket draped across his shoulders. There would be a little note scribbled out resting on top of his stack of papers, signed with their name and letting him know that they’d be bringing him breakfast in the late morning.

He wishes he had the courage to do the same for them. It was one of the many things about them he found adorable and one of the many things he would never admit to thinking about them.

“Do you think of me the way I think of you?” he murmurs to them, although they are fast asleep. Of course, they do not answer.

The ticking of the watch he fixed just for them echoes in the silence he leaves.

“If I asked you to stay...if I was selfish enough to ask that of you...would you comply? Would you fulfill my wish?” Isaac’s voice is impossibly softer, the yearning in his aching heart betrayed by the wobbling of his words.

They don't belong here. He knows this. They belong back in their world, where they have a family and friends and a life. He isn’t a natural part of who they are, even if he wishes he could grow to be. He wants to be part of what they want so badly, but that’s not possible. He’d only hurt them. And even if they say they trust him over and over, he does not trust himself. They are precious to him, someone he wants to protect more than anything—and to lose them now would destroy him.

His eyes flick back to his forgotten work, and he sighs. Raking his hand through his hair, he picks back up his pen and starts to write again. Their head on his shoulder burns through his shirt. He can feel their warmth. His hand shakes as it scribbles out an equation, and his cheeks still burn a fiery red. He’s gnawing on his bottom lip and bouncing his leg so fiercely he almost bangs his knee on the wood, but he doesn’t stop.

Do they have any idea how serious this is? Isaac could lose control of his hunger at any moment and hurt them just like he did before. His eyes flicker to their hand, and even though the bandages are gone, he still feels that stab of guilt. How do they feel safe enough with him to fall asleep near him? Even if it wasn’t on purpose, they should have left the second they were feeling tired. They should have bid him goodnight and patted his shoulder like they always did when they said goodbye and left him to his own devices. And yet they did not, because they are the strangest phenomenon he’s ever witnessed.

He loves them. He loves them like they strung up all the stars he loves to study in the sky, he loves them like they’re the only person he’ll ever know this well, he loves them like they’re the only person who would ever care for him even though they’d insist they’re not. He loves them like they’re everything and he knows there’s no way he could tell them that. He’s not good with words. He’s not good with affection.

And he is certainly not good with love.

Isaac turns back to them in what he wholeheartedly believes is a moment of weakness because they smell so nice and they look so at peace and—

They whisper his name.

A soft “Isaac” leaves their lips, and he stiffens at the sound. His face burns hotter now, his leg bounces more, his heart is pounding in his ears and his blood is rushing through his veins and—

He whips his head back towards his paper, intent on focusing on his work, only to see loopy scribbles of their name on his notes.

Gah, he needs to control himself.

Even when he wasn’t thinking, his body still yearned for them. How traitorous his hands were.

[unweavinglies]

@bef369

I don't think that his personality really changed (don`t take this as if I say your theory is incorrect, I'm just sharing my point of view) I think he did believe it and at the same time didn't. That's one of the reasons for why he asked Monokuma's help. Not only to get rid of Miu but also if Monokuma agreed to help him just because thing will be more interesting then his theory of a public would be rigth and the outside world being destroyed could be a lie.

Okay. I've been sitting with this reply for a few hours now, because I genuinely do not know how one is supposed to respond to this within context.

You replied to this ask with these words, and while talking about your own personal interpretation isn't inherently suggesting that mine is "incorrect", it is a little tone-deaf to the ask reply itself, and the way you worded it.

Because while you are being kind about it--you are still suggesting my interpretation is wrong. Which is fine, I don't mind if people disagree with me. I'm not here to convince you. I'm not here to say my interpretation is the end-all, be-all interpretation and the only true canon. I'm only here to showcase the very specific thread I am pulling from a narrative that is essentially a complicated spider's web, and not everyone is going to agree with my conclusions. I actually encourage different points of view and people coming to their own conclusions. If people agree or disagree with me, then so be it.

However--to make this reply on that specific ask is ignoring what I had said about how the Chapter 4 Mercy Killing Plot has been a point of contention for me, and how people constantly tell me that they "think differently" or outright say my interpretation "is wrong" and go so far as to try to find "plot holes" just to justify themselves.

This isn't about me being right or wrong, or my pride being injured by people who disagree with me--this is about how I've had a bombardment of anons disrespecting my boundaries and insisting on trying to discuss (and to disprove) my theories.

To try to open a discussion about the Chapter 4 plot on a post where I'm clearly talking about how exhausted and exasperated I am from having to defend my own headcanons about it by malicious individuals is extremely tone deaf.

So please refrain from dragging me into discussing the Chapter 4 plot. I'm not in the headspace to discuss alternatives to it.

[sorserah]

Chapter 9: Search and Destroy

Outsider No More | Goro Takemura & Female V/OC

And then he understands, clearly understands what she had been feeling, trying to tell him. And he now realizes too, he does not want to lose her either. 

An interpretation of how a romance between Takemura and Corpo Female V could have been. Changing between Vs and Takemuras POV. Mostly following the main story of the game, adding bits and pieces here and there for a little bit more depth. So spoilers ahead.

18+, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Romance, Panic Attacks, Death, Blood and Injury, Corpo V (Cyberpunk 2077, Takemuras POV, Vs pov, Alcohol, Sexual Tension, Flirting, Denial of Feelings, Internal Conflict, they are both idiots, Guilt, Overthinking, Smut, Sex, Romantic, Gestures

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28434627/chapters/70742016#workskin

„We have arrived at your desired location.“ Delamain announces as they drive onto an empty parking spot in front of the abandoned apartment block. I still can’t believe you are actually going to see him, after everything he pulled off. We can be happy we made it out alive just a few minutes ago. I know Johnny, V leans her head back into the seat. I wish I wouldn’t have to, you know. V swings open the back door, gets out and they make their way towards the apartment. You could, you are just too weak. Unfortunately, I can’t make you do anything - yet - but please keep him on a short leash this time. Because I still don’t fucking trust him.

He appears in front of her as she climbs up the last set of stairs. V, for our own sake, we check on him and then delta the fuck outta here before Arasaka finds us. It’s just a matter of time now. We find another way, I promise. You are right, fine, guess that would be best, but… No V! No buts, you lost your damn mind and we both know exactly why. She shoves him aside. Again he blocks her way, his voice furious. You know what, you really are pathetic. He pushes you away twice, fucks up our whole mission and you still want to risk your own life for him. Run to him like a well-trained dog, just like he is, except not for you but for Arasaka. Get this into your fucking head V.

V stops in front of number three-zero-three, Johnnys words hurt her, not because they are particularly meaner than normal, but because she could feel a little truth to them. She turns to Johnny again. Okay, we make a deal alright. Last chance for him. I talk to him about the mission, Hanako, what’s next, et cetera, and about whatever is between us. No straight answer and I will be gone. Guess that’s all I can hope for anyways and he vanishes. Facing the door she lifts up her fist, hesitating, suddenly shaking a bit of nervousness. She knocks four times.

Takemura opens the door pulls her close to him and closes the door again in one swift movement. He presses her into his chest, one hand on her back, the other occupied with his rifle. „Are you okay?“ He asks as he shoves her a few inches in front of her, still very close. His hand wandering from her back, over her hand and up her arm, softly stroking her shoulders and neck, stopping at her cheek, gently stroking his thumb over it while searching every spot of her face with his eyes. She hadn't expected this sudden tenderness at all, she utters confused „Yea.“

„I feared they had caught you.“ She grabs his hand, pulling it away from her face. Though grabbing it tightly the study metal resisting against her grip. „Goro, you know how feared I was, I am?!“ Her voice an angry whisper, sharpening with every word „Gonna tell me what the fuck you were thinking?! Hanako is the most wanted person in the world, every Arasaka soldier is on our trail.“ He is still looking at her intensely, his voice likewise muted „I am aware. That is why we should not waste any time.“

Takemura moves sideways and nods into the direction of a table, where someone is sitting already. Startled, she finally lets go of his hand. „I offered her some tea…“ V can’t help but laugh „You kidnap Hanako Arasaka and offer her a cup of fuckin’ tea?!“ She could see a slight grin on his face „It was your idea.“ „Oh no, this wasn’t my idea. I made a joke. I will not take any responsibility for your actions here Goro.“ He looks down, pawing the ground „I would never expect this from you. And she…respectfully declined.“ V sighs, „Okay, just let’s get this over with.“ Both serious again „Tell her the truth about Yorinobu, no embellishment. And state your terms clearly. Perhaps she will listen.“

„Hanako, I am sorry we have to speak under these circumstances.“ „This is the second time I have heard this today.“ V sits down at the table towards Hanako, Takemura remains next to Hanako and starts talking to her in Japanese „Hanako-sama. This is the woman I spoke of. Please, listen on what she has to say.“ V looks straight at her, she on the other hand avoids her eyes „Hanako. I was there when it happened. It was Yorinobu. He…he had an argument with your father, said he had enough and then strangled him. I saw it with my own eyes.“ Hanako looks at V, her face full of disgust and arrogance. „You must be mad to think I will listen to such nonsense. Who are you to think you can talk to me this way?!“

V rolls her eyes, she had seen enough of her kind in the Corpo world, people like her don’t change. They are the same type. Let them hear what they want to hear, offer them something they can use for themselves and they are yours - well and you're theirs - if you keep the bargain. V leans forward both elbows on the table. „Look. I know it’s a lot to take in, let alone believe. I also know you are an honorable person, worthy of trust. And that’s why I wanna make you an offer.“ Finally, Hanako looks at V „You? Make me an offer?“ „Exactly. The Relic your brother tried to hawk off to NetWatch is in my head. Right now. Took a bullet to the brain, but the tech on the biochip saved me. Now, it’s slowly killing me.“ V quickly glances over at Takemura, he was looking at his hands. „One of you personality constructs, engrams, is overwriting my psyche. Gotta stop the process before it’s too late. I know you got the means to help me. And this first case sure will be interesting for Arasaka as well.“

Right after V finishes her sentence Takemura makes a few steps towards Hanako, a touch of desperation in his voice „Hanako-sama!“, while he is talking he was unable to keep his eyes off V, „V is living proof of the terrible crime your brother committed. We can confirm every word she speaks if only you will help her with the Relic. It is a matter of life and death.“ As Hanako doesn’t answer he turns his eyes away from V and toward her. „Hanako-sama?“ She looks down again, still not answering.

A clanking sound could be heard from the hallway. Out of reflex, V and Takemura both grab their weapons. He faces her, whispering again „Did you hear that?“ She nods „Can you check?“ He asks her and she thinks she sees a deeply worried expression on his face again for a short time. Wordlessly she stands up, tightens her weapon holster, reloads her weapon, and silently walks over to the door, „I got a bad feeling about this.“ She places one ear at the door, nothing. Carefully she opens it a gap, nothing. The door creaks a bit as she opens it even wider and looks into the hallway.

„No, not now!“ Although she could not see anything in front of her, the next moment she is crouching on the floor. At Takemura's outcry and the accompanying machine-gun sounds, her body had reacted automatically. He is still at the table, shielding Hanako. The next moment, however, she is blinded by a grenade and could no longer see anything and shortly after the ground beneath her feet collapses and she falls into the darkness.

V, wake up! Johnnys face appears over hers. Last chance to get the fuck outta here! V needs a while to orient herself. „No, Goro. Can’t leave him back there!“ Forget him, guy’s toast! Less’ you wanna wind up like him! The sensation of a fist hitting her in the stomach at full tilt, no, it couldn't be. Stumbling slightly, she frees herself from the concrete remains of the former floor. He can’t be dead. Again she pulls out her gun and makes her way into the hallway, her heart racing, eyes watering from the dust in the air and the possibility of her next loss.

V sneaks past some Arasaka soldiers to the closest stairwell. The fuck you doin’? You lost it?! He’s beyond any sort of help! I wanna see this for myself! She climbs up the stairs, taking her shotgun and shoots her way recklessly to the following floor and the room, not listing to the voice in her head telling her to turn around. Around another corner and she could hear others regardless of her own gunshots. Encouraged by this, she jumps over the collapsed ceiling back into the room where they were sitting earlier and eliminates two more soldiers.

She glances around the room. Nothing, her breath became heavy, she feels a lump in her throat, more tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. Behind her, she hears the reloading of a gun. She quickly turns around and points hers at the suspect. Takemura had emerged from his cover aiming at her. „V! You are alive?!“ His voice full of pain, breathless. „You should not have returned! You will die here with me!“ V lowers her gun, still looking at him. She doesn’t care that her eyes were burning from the dust and concrete and that they watered to protect themselves and out of relief to see him standing here. „Then so be it.“

He walks a few steps towards her, his eyebrows raised, an expression on his face she hadn’t seen before. „V…I…“ „There is no time, thank me later. We need to find a way out now - fast!“ „There are empty rooms to the right. It’s our only chance!“ They creep through the dark rooms, lit only by flare cartridges until they reach the exit which is blocked by several soldiers. The soldiers discover them first, an exchange of fire inevitable. Takemura steps in front of V, shielding her and starts shooting first.

Ultimately, only V and Takemura are left standing. Breathlessly she asks „You hurt?“ Takemura is crouching on the ground „I do not think so, you?“ She shakes her head. Though when they walk out of the door she collapses, her sight glitching, head nearly exploding. No, not again. Around them they could hear drones and helicopters. „V, we have to keep going!“ She is shaking, twitching, unable to get control over her body. The world is spinning. „I…I can’t.“ Two strong hands lift her up, carrying her way.

„The cab!“ she mumbles and was grateful to have chosen it today. It would blend perfectly into the traffic. „Bring us out of the city!“ Takemura demanded as he lays V down softly onto the backseat, leaning over her once again. Her vision stabiles again. „Now approaching ‚Badlands‘, please provide a more informative location as soon as possible.“ The cab starts to drive forward slowly. She looks up at Takemura „Feels like a déjà vu. Can you help me up?“ Takemura nods and helps her to sit up straight, he places himself next to her.

As they start to maneuver through the traffic, V connects her personal link to the cab „I have an idea where we should be safer than…“ interrupted by gunshots she was just able to enter the coordinates. Takemura had already leaned out the window and started shooting down the drones. V mimics him shortly after.

Together, they manage to lose the drones just as they entered the Badlands. Panting, V gets rid of her jacket, checking first her arms, chest and then legs for wounds. Unbelievably, she is unharmed. She looks over at Takemura „You injured?“ He shakes his head without checking. „You?“ „No.“ As she was done reloading her weapons in her holster he is still staring at her. „Thank you V. You saved my life.“ She snorts „Guess we are even.“ But there wasn’t a sign of a grin on his face.

„The last twenty-four hours…I thought you died, twice.“ His voice hoarse „I understood at the parade what you had told me on the roof…when Oda attacked you. I still understand it now and I regret not understanding it earlier.“ He takes her hand tenderly. „V, I do not want to lose you either.“ Her heart skips a beat. Takemura pulls her towards him. She slips onto his lap and supports herself on his shoulders, looking him in the eyes. They were full of worry, yet full of relief. Both of his hands wander to her jaw, pulling her in for a kiss. Kissing her even hungrier, needier than back in the elevator, tongues more wildly caressing. She moves both hands to the cool metal of his neck while he lets his one slide into her hair, pulling her even closer into the kiss.

When V takes a small break she hears a husky moan slip away from him, she returns the kiss more demanding before pulling away. „So, this okay now?“ She whispers hoarsely. He answers in his mother tongue, her cybernetics providing translations. „はい、今まで以上にあなたが欲しいです Yes. I want you. Now.“ His eyes pitch black, just the small white ring around them indicating where his pupils are moving. His mouth slightly opened, they scan her face, her eyes, cheekbones, lingering on her lips. She grins daring, as her hands stroke over his shoulders to his neck and the collar of his shirt, hastily unbuttoning it. Takemura leans his head back, skims over her back to her hips and makes her slide down further into his crotch. She had to inhale sharply, could already feel his erection. She continues to unbutton his shirt now even faster, removing it and revealing a t-shirt underneath.

Just as she was about to rip the shirt off, Delamain interrupts them both. „We have arrived at the desired location.“ V opens the door to get out, almost falling to the ground while climbing off Takemuras lap. Panam was already running at her. „V, what the fuck are you doing here?!“ „Sorry, we need supplies, maybe firepower. We are on the way to the small house where we hid with Saul. Hopefully, Arasaka won’t find us there and we can lie low for a bit.“ „Arasaka? V what you have done now?“ V raises her eyebrows in confusion „Wait, what are you talking about then?“ „I am talking about this.“ And Panam points to Vs back. And when she turns around she understood what Panam meant. A mile-high wave of red sand was crawling straight their way, swallowing cacti and cars. Even bigger than the one a few days ago. „Oh fuck me, do you have any supplies you can spare at hand? We need to go, I will explain everything later!“

Wordlessly, V throws the bag of supplies onto the backseat, before quickly slamming the door, hopping on the driver's seat, and hitting the gas. On the soft ground, the tires spin, but soon they had picked up speed again. Takemura leans forward, through the seat. His hand clenched to his side. „V, I have never seen such an impressive sandstorm before. We need to find a shelter. “ „I know, we will be there soon. Can you open up the seat in the middle, grabbing the bag from the trunk?“ „What is in it?“ „A blanket, whisky and bandages, toothbrush, fresh underwear, a spare shirt, some water, additional ammo…Stuff I need when I am on the road for a while. Always take it with me, just in case.“

Suddenly V loses grip of the wheel for a second and the car drifts off a bit as the wall of sand hits them „Fuck.“. They couldn’t see anything now, neither inside nor outside. „Night-mode activated.“ Delamain announces as the side and ceiling LEDs start lighting up. „Shit, I will have to follow the small map and hope we don’t hit the cabin or maybe better if we do.“ V presses a button and a larger screen with a local map appears. She wields it to the back. „Goro, can you check for anything that looks like a building on here?“ „To our left is a small square, that it?“ „Maybe, I hope so. Don’t know how long Delamain’s gonna last in this storm.“ „Approximately 10 more minutes before a critical condition of the filters will be reached.“ „Thanks, Del.“

„A little more to the right than we should be there.“ Takemura alludes, „Good.“ V interrupts him quickly. They wouldn’t have much time. „‘Soon as we are there, you take the bags and go inside immediately, shut the door fast. I will check on the generator and make sure it’s running.“ „No V, let me do this.“ He answers, insisting. „No, Goro. I appreciate your well-meant suggestion, but only I know where the switch is…After I am done we have to barricade the door somehow, so neither Arasaka nor this storm can enter.“ „Understood, be careful V and hurry please.“

At least this plan is going smoothly. She leans against the door while Takemura pushes the nearby dresser against it. They also find a roll of duct tape which they used to tape up a few of the cracks. It would be a miracle if Arasaka would find them here in the next hours while the storm rages.

The heater was already running, immersing the entire room in orange-red light. "Not much, but better than nothing." V wipes her face with her arm, sits down on the dresser and takes a sip of water. In the meantime, Takemura insisted to search the few rooms again to make sure that everything is safe. „And? Everything still safe this time?“ Slightly angry she hears him in the bedroom answering „Do not mock me V, one can never be certain enough.“

Eventually, Takemura walks out of the bedroom, advancing with great strides towards her. He reaches her, slides his right hand over her cheek into her hair and pulls her into a fierce kiss. V moans at the suddenness, dropping her water bottle. His hands wander to her lower back, drawing her body closer. She could feel heat building up where they both meet. She reaches down to the end of his t-shirt and slides it over his head, tossing it aside. They hardly notice the fierce wind that strikes the hut.

Finally, she was able to slide her hands over his abs to his shoulders, could feel she makes his flesh crawl. V takes her time taking the view all in. He follows every movement she makes, pupils widened. Carefully she strokes over his augmentations and all the way back to his belt, sliding two fingers under it. As he leans in to kiss her again she grabs his jaw forcefully, stopping his motion. Then, guiding him backwards to the couch until his back of the knee hits it and makes him drop onto it.

Takemura grabs her again with more strength this time, pulling her in his lap, kissing her. She slides her hands over his back, but feels something wet on her hands. She pushes him away and looks at them - dark red blood. „Fuck Goro, this yours?“ he looks at her in confusion. She slips next to him and checks his back. There was a bullet hole near his shoulder blade. No exit wound. Shit. „I do not feel anything V, what is it?“ „You won’t like this. I...“ he reaches for his back and she guides his hand to the injury. „Ah I see. You need to get the bullet out for me. I should not be deep, the endoskeleton on my shoulder blades should have prevented a deeper intrusion.“

V quickly grabs the whisky, bandages and looks for something to grab the bullet. After searching the kitchen drawers she finds a tong. After disinfecting it and Takemura had emptied half the whisky bottle she sits behind him. „Ready?“ She had never done something like this before „Yes. We should get this done quickly. The adrenaline will soon start to vanish.“ Okay she can do this. The best way to start would be, uhm, maybe… „V?“ Takemura turns around. „One second.“ She grabs the whisky and slugs down a good amount before handing it back to him. „I have never done this before. How should I start?“

Takemura guides her through the whole process. Meanwhile, the wind was still howling against the door. Lastly the bullet was out of his body, the wound disinfected, well bandaged, the whisky empty. „We should wash the blood off.“ V was still a little paralyzed by the fact that she had just performed surgery on him. „Yea sure. Just gimme a sec.“ He was already under the shower when she managed to get up and search her bag. She grabs a towel, an oversized clean shirt, since hers was drenched in blood, too, and underwear. Now she was standing awkwardly in front of the bathroom, waiting for Takemura to finish showering. She hears him stepping out of the shower „I uh, I have a clean towel.“ She holds it up in front of the doorframe.

She didn't know exactly why she wasn't just going in - after all, she had been sitting on his lap minutes earlier and had quite different things planned to do with him. But she had lost all her courage in the surgery it seems. He accepted it gratefully and when V also steps out of the bathroom freshly showered, Takemura is already sitting on a mattress he had moved over, half-covered with a blanket in front of the stove. On the ground two beer bottles, a few bags of chips and protein bars. V sits down next to him, slips under the covers too, grabbing two bottles and hands one to him.

„Fuck Goro, these last weeks. I…Every week I think ‘nothing can top this day, for sure’ and somehow it gets topped. Every. Fucking. Day.“ They both look at each other and start laughing out loud. All the tension and adrenaline of the last few hours finally and slowly falls off of them. At last, V wipes her eyes from the tears of laughter before Takemura is the first to start talking again. „You should come to Japan. It is a lot quieter. I think it would do you good. A little rest and vacation is exactly what you deserve right now.“

She shoves away the thought about the biochip „That would actually be pretty nice.“ And simply smiles at him, but wasn’t able to make it look convincing. They finish the beers in silence. The wind had become even stronger in the last hour. They could almost hear how every single grain of sand scraped into the wood. A miracle that the hut held at all. When she leaned sideways she noticed how her vision lagged a little behind. „So how’s your back?“ „It hardly hurts. Even if I have to admit that this is probably largely due to the alcohol.“ „Let me check.“

Takemura slightly turns and V gently strokes over his back. „Looks good. Still clean, the bleeding must have stopped.“ She continues to travel with her fingers upward to his neck and cheek. He turns to her. They were so close again that she could see every detail of his eyes, in which she could lose herself so incredibly easily. Once again they end up kissing, but this time slower, calmer, taking their time. One of his hands resting on her back, the other on her thigh. She could taste the beer on his lips.

V lets her hands wander down his abs down to his crotch. He moans, lips parted, not once looking away from her, his eyelids heavy as V gets up. Standing in front of him she crosses her arms over her head, removing her shirt. Then stepping out of her panties. Standing In front of him, completely naked and he takes it all in.

Takemura reaches forward, pushing the blanket away, pulling her onto his lap. She could feel him growing harder. Like V before, he slides his fingers over her stomach, over her breasts and collarbone to her jaw. She takes his hand, placing his thumb between her teeth, closing her lips around it, driving deeper into his lap. „ファック…“ he hisses before pulling her in again, laying kisses onto her shoulder and neck. She could feel his beard scratching, sending tingles over her soft skin, before finding her mouth again. With each kiss, her chest tingles more intensely, her breathing faster, heart racing.

They pause, their lips barely touching, breathing in each other's air. Takemura tries to move her gently onto the mattress, but groans in pain. „Goro, we can stop.“ „No. I don’t know what will happen after tomorrow. If we both make it out of this.“ He brushes a few strands out of her face, cupping her cheek „I wish we would have more time.“ „Me too.“ She wraps both arms around him and kisses him deeply.

She lifts herself up so he was able to remove his pants. He places kisses on her chest and neck again. V searches Takemuras gaze and finds it, before letting herself slide onto his length, starting to move her hips slowly. They both groan at the sensation. At that moment, for the first time in weeks, V thought of nothing at all. She was completely immersed in this moment, she didn't care about her future any longer. Only him and her, that’s what matters. She takes a small break, keeping her hips completely still, leaning down to kiss him, before continuing with her movements, faster than before.

She uses to couch to support herself, thrusting down harder with every movement. She could feel his hand around her throat, pressing it softly as his breath quickens too. Every now and then their gazes meet before his eyes turn to her body that moves rhythmically up and down. V finds a steady rhythm, moving her hips quicker, digging her fingers into his shoulders. He grabs her hips, pulling her down harder. Moans are now escaping them with increasing frequency, high pitched mixed with low groans blend with the harsh wind of the storm.

Takemura slips his hand between her legs assisting her to reach climax. „Fuck“ she cries out, as she notices a tingling sensation moving from the place where he touches her upward through her entire body. He puts his knees up so she can lean back while he continues to massage her. „Goro, I…Fuck.“ she lets her head fall into her back as her vision fades to black, the tingling sensation dissolving into pleasure. After a few seconds, her breathing calmed down and her vision was clear again.

V pulls him close, kissing him hard. Takemura groans as he grabs her hair tightly and she starts to move her hips again. His groans become louder with each thrust. His eyelids heavy, glancing at her one last time before his eyes close and he inhales sharply. „ファック、V.“ He buries his face in her chest, inside her she feels a pulsing sensation, before he leans back slowly, his eyes still closed.

Freshly showered they are lying next to each other, snacking on some chips. The storm still raging outside. „How is your back?“ V asks. „The pain is back now. But I feel a lot better. Even the food doesn’t taste as bad as normal.“ He smiles at her. A few minutes pass, they finish up eating. She slips next to him under his covers, resting her head on his chest. He gently strokes her back. „I wish this storm would never end.“ She admits quietly, Takemura deeply sighs „A part of me wishes this too.“

[pinksirensong]

for the morpheus x addams!reader fic, it’s fine, i don't have in mind anything specific, i just would like to read more of their love dynamic, they’re literally just like gomez and morticia and i’m absolutely here for it. thank you again🖤

Ad I always say (because honestly sometimes I don't know if I can interpret your wishes as I should) I don't know if it's what you wanted...but I hope so because I loved writing it! Thanks for sending the ask, I missed my Addams reader so muchhh!!

Babysitting Pubert on a friday 13th by far wasn't what Y/N Addams would like to do, but the presence of her Dream did make things better. Her parents planned a romantic night at the family's cemetery ages ago and sent Pugsley, Wednesday and uncle Fester to an incredible expedition in Salem. When the babysitter bailed on them it was up for Y/N to stay with her baby brother, since leaving a baby with Grandmama Addams is like asking for trouble.

"Should we read a story for him?" Morpheus was absolutely amazed by Pubert, the young Addams was not a normal baby and yet it was still adorable.

"Only at his bedtime. Shall we do Coraline tonight, dear brother?" he was too young to answer, but his excitement was clear. Her beloved, on another hand, looked confused.

"Is that book appropriate for his age?"

"You do not expect me to read Snow White to him, do you?" without looking at him Y/N walked around her brother's bedroom putting his toys away. "How unfair that Pubert is barely one year and already have his own guillotine and I had to build my own from scratch."

"Well, aren't you the one that always says that easy is boring?"

"Oh, yes. It is boring. When we have ours we should do the same, let her do it. It is very satisfactory to do so." Y/N didn't notice the way Morpheus froze when she said it. "Pubert, darling, can you say Y/N for me? Surely your first word has to be your favorite sister's name. Y/N, c'mon, it's not so hard." while she tried to make her brother say her name, Dream finally came back to his senses and walked towards them. "Y/N. Y….N."

"Y…" the Addams girl was too absorbed in Pubert almost doing it to notice the change in her Dream.

"...N. Y/N." she smiled at his tentatives. "Think about how devastated our parents will be knowing your first word was my name. It would also stake my claim as your favorite, it would destroy Wednesday and Pugsley."

"Ours?" Morpheus' voice was almost as loud as a whisper.

"Excuse me?"

"You said when we have ours."

"Oh, yes, I did. Do you have any issues with guillotine? We all grew up around it, axes, knives…Well, you know. We're Addams, it's expected."

"That is…not the issue."

"And what would it be?"

"There is no issue. It is just…you thought of it? Having children with me?" he sounded almost afraid of the answer. They had talked about Orpheus and Dream's story with him and his ex-wife Calliope. Y/N knew that he wasn't the best father to his son and how he was afraid of being the same with another kid, but she also knew how much he loved children and that deep down he wanted to have his own.

"We are married and I live in the Dreaming with you. You and I are building a life together, of course I thought of having children with you. They shall be the palest kids the Waking World has ever seen." her smile was enough to calm his nerves. Yes, he did want children with her, as many as she would want to. Morpheus could almost picture them running around their realm bringing joy to their lives.

"You wish for a daughter?"

"It must be a daughter first. Us Addams girls are tough and protective, the oldest have to be a girl."

"If I am correct, my sweet Nightmare, it is not something you can choose." now he was the one smiling, his hands on her hips.

"Please, my Dream, I'm Y/N Addams."

"Y/N!" Pubert said laughing, clapping his hand.

"Yes!! Y/N! Your favorite!" she picked Pubert up from the ground. "Just like you are my favorite too. I shall tell you all the weaknesses of our siblings so you can use it against them."

"Perhaps we should have only one."

"And deprive our child to have such a bond with her siblings? We could never." while Pubert kept repeating Y/N's name happily, as it was the only word he knew, she put him in his bed and sat at the end of it holding the book.

"You are right, we could never." he watched as she read Coraline to Pubert, making it sound way more terrifying than it actually was but the child still loved every second of it. Morpheus couldn't wait for them to be able to do it with their kid…daughter, because he knew her too much to know that if anyone could have what they wanted it was her. After all this time he had a change of a second life, it wasn't about replacing Orpheus but not being the terrible person he once was. This time he would be a better husband and a better father.

"Let's rest, my Dream." seeing that Pubert was now sleeping, Y/N took his hand and led him towards her old room. "I am exhausted and ready to go home, even if it is only by sleeping at the moment."

"I shall be with you every second tonight, my sweet nightmare. And tomorrow we go to our home."

"As you wish, my king." the night at the Waking World ended with a kiss, but at the Dreaming it was only the beginning of a night full of love. Perhaps there would be another Addams running around very soon.

[lesfeldickbiblestudy]

  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 1 * PART 4 * BOOK 80 DANIEL – PART I - 4 Daniel 1:1 - 2:39 Okay, good to see everybody back again for another half hour. We’re going to pick right up where we left off in Daniel chapter 2, and we’re going to jump in at verse 31.  Again, we want to thank our television audience for all of your prayers, your gifts, your letters, and everything.  My, we just can’t do it without you.  We just trust that you’re sharing these things with your friends and relatives to get them interested in studying the Word of God on their own.  That’s my whole premise.  It is to get people into the Book. All right, we’re going to go right on and pick up where we left off in verse 31of Daniel chapter 2.  And again, for a quick review, remember that Daniel is primarily a prophecy concerning the coming Gentile empires beginning with Nebuchadnezzar who was the first real world-empire dictator.  Now there were other kingdoms ahead of them, of course.  But Nebuchadnezzar was really the first great world empire builder and a total, total despotic dictator. All right, this Nebuchadnezzar has had a dream. And Daniel has been able, by God’s help, to recover the dream.  Now he’s going to explain the interpretation.  What did it mean?  All right, verse 31, and Daniel says to Nebuchadnezzar: Daniel 2:31 “Thou, O King, sawest, (in his dream) and behold a great image. (in other words, the likeness of a man) This great image, whose brightness was excellent, (or frightening—some translations put) stood before thee; and the form thereof was terrible.”  And again, frightening, beyond human comprehension.    Now he’s beginning to explain the dream. Daniel 2:32-33 “This image’s head was of fine gold, (Now that’s why we know it’s a depiction of a human likeness.) his breast (or his chest and shoulders) and his arms of silver, his belly (or the abdomen down to the upper thigh) and his thighs of brass, 33. His legs of iron, his feet part of iron and part of clay (were made up of a mixture of iron and clay).” All right, now we’re going to just briefly—and I’ll go back and put it on the board.  Here we’ve got a head of gold, a chest of silver, a belly of brass, legs of iron, and feet of iron and clay.  Now those of you who know anything about chemistry—what are the specific gravities of these various metals?  Well, gold is the heaviest.  Silver is the next.  Brass is the next.  Iron is the next.  And iron and the clay is the lightest of all.  So right off the bat, if you’ll use your thinking cap, what is the balance of that makeup?  It’s top-heavy.  Exactly what I wanted to hear.   It’s top-heavy.  The highest specific gravity, gold, is at the top and the lowest is down here. All right, now all of this is just sort of an inimical figure that God is showing. And in the progression of these Gentile empires that have already been established by history, they were just exactly that.  They were top-heavy. We’re going to see the reason for that—that when Christ returns and destroys these Gentile empires; which, by the way, are already back on the world again tonight. All these original empires—Babylon is present-day Iraq—the very center of the news.  The Medes and the Persians were the next empire.  And Iran is in the news and Syria.  And then came the Greek Empire, which was, again, predominately by a Syrian general.  And then the Roman Empire, which is our Revived European Community.  It’s all back in the news every day.   But I’m running ahead of myself.  Back up now to verse 34.  After seeing this likeness of a man with all of these metals, he says in, your dream you looked at that image until: Daniel 2:34a “Thou sawest till that a stone was cut out without hands,…” Well, now if you remember, about a year or two ago I did a whole series of programs on the Stone of Scripture.  Remember those?  How that all through Scripture, from Exodus through the Book of Revelation, God the Son, Jesus Christ, is depicted as a Stone of one sort or another.

  He was the Rock that Moses smote.  He was considered the Corner Stone of Israel.  He’s considered the Head Stone of the corner.  All through Scripture you have these references to Christ as a Stone or a Rock. Well, in Daniel’s vision then, or in Nebuchadnezzar’s vision, rather.  Daniel interrupts it. After he sees this humongous likeness of a man with gold, silver, brass, iron, and so forth, there came something from a non-human concept—without hands.  It had nothing to do with man’s power or whatever.  So it had to be the Stone of Scripture—God the Son, Jesus Christ. Daniel 2:34b “…which smote the image upon his feet (Now all of this is pertinent.  He doesn’t smite it on the head.  He smites it on its feet. So Daniel says--) you saw a stone cut out without hands (which is the Second Coming of Christ) which smote the image upon his feet that were of iron and clay, and broke them to pieces.”  Just crushes it.  All right, now if you’ve got a little imagination at all, if you can see this top-heavy image suddenly stricken by a rolling boulder that hits it on its feet, what happens to it?  Well, it tips over.  And as that stone rolls over that tipped-over statue, or likeness of a man, what happens?  It’s ground to powder.  All right, now get that all in your imagination, because that’s what we’re drawing here.  All right, “You saw a stone cut out without hands.  It smote the image upon his feet, which were made of iron and clay, and broke them to pieces.”  All right, now here’s what happened to the rest of it. Daniel 2:35a “Then was the iron, (the legs) the clay, the brass (the belly area) the silver, (the chest area) and (finally) the gold, (the head) broken to pieces together, and became like the chaff of the summer threshing floors;…”  Now we aren’t as acquainted with threshing floors as we are John Deere combines.  Isn’t that right?  When you see that old combine going across the wheat field, what trails behind it?  A cloud of dust and chaff.  Well, where’s the grain?  Up in the tank.  It’s saved.  All right, now the likeness here is that the ancient Jews, or whoever would use the threshing floor, would pour that grain from an elevated place and let the wind take the chaff and the dust away, just like a combine does today.  All right, that’s what would happen to the residue of these empires. Now we’re going to come to that as we go through the afternoon.  That as those empires rise and fall, at Christ’s Second Coming they will all be evident.  And they are today.  My goodness, I’ve gone through this more than once.  The Babylonian Empire—what was it known for initiating way back in 600 B.C.?  Banking—all of the world’s banking goes back to the Babylonian bankers.  That was where it first began, the system of banking. All right, the next big empire was the Medes and the Persians.  Well, to this day what is one of the most high-priced commodities in the Middle East?  Well, I can’t even say oil now, the way it dropped.  I was going to say except oil.  But what’s one of the highest priced commodities that come out of Persia?  Rugs!  My, if you see a little Persian rug that’s just nothing, it’ll cost several hundred dollars—still today.  All right, that’s been their commodity for centuries. They are known of their beautiful Persian rugs and so forth. All right, then the next empire was Greek.  What came predominately out of the Greek empire?  Architecture, with their beautiful capitals, you know, and the columns and all that.  And literature.  That all began in the Greek Empire. All right, then comes the Roman Empire.  And what’s the Roman Empire the precipitator of?  Courts of law.  Rome was the first empire that declared a man was innocent until he was proven guilty.  You didn’t know that, did you? All right, that was all the beginning, then, of what we now call Western Civilization.  And it’s with us full-scale again today.  The whole world’s banking system ties right back to Ancient Babylon.  The whole carpet industry of the Middle East goes all the way back to the Medes and the Persians.

  All of our architecture and all of our literature and the classics and so forth go back to the Greek Empire.  And our whole system of law and courts and human rights had its beginnings in the Roman Empire. And they are all evident today. And we’re getting ready, now, for the return of Christ. And again, as they all stand with all of their pomp and their circumstance and their power and their corruption, when Christ returns He’ll destroy every bit of it.  Every vestige of it will be blown away like the chaff of a thresher’s floor.  That’s the beauty of prophecy. All right, let’s come back to verse 36, and we’ll detail it even a little closer.  Verse 36, now Daniel says to Nebuchadnezzar: Daniel 2:36 “That’s the dream; (That’s what you saw.  You saw this huge likeness of a human being.) and we will tell the interpretation thereof before the king.”  And here it comes, verse 37: Daniel 2:37a “Thou, O king, art a king of kings:…” Now, like I mentioned earlier, there had been previous little tribal empires.  Nimrod, of course, began in that same area way back in Genesis chapter 10.  So there have been other little tribal empires, but there had never been a world empire under one man like the Babylonian.  It was the first of the great Gentile empires. In fact, Israel under David and Solomon had a greater empire probably than even Nebuchadnezzar.  But of the Gentile world, Nebuchadnezzar was the very first.  All right, so reading in verse 37 again: Daniel 2:37 “Thou, O king, art a king of kings: for the God of heaven (Remember what I said in the last half hour?  God puts them in.  He takes them out.  Even to our present day there is not a head of government that isn’t there by God’s design.) hath given thee a kingdom, power, and strength, and glory.” Now, how many people realize what a glorious kingdom Nebuchadnezzar had?  At 600 years before Christ, the city wall was so wide that four sets of chariots could go side-by-side around the top of that wall.  The hanging gardens of Babylon were one of the wonders of the ancient world.  There was nothing that ol’ Nebuchadnezzar could not bring into being, because he taxed the masses for everything they had, and he spent it for the beauty of the city of Babylon.  So, it was a gorgeous city. Verse 38: Daniel 2:38a “And wheresoever the children of men dwell,…”  Now again, we have to be careful.  The then-known world was pretty much centered around Israel, the Mediterranean, and on out beyond the Euphrates, and maybe toward the western fringes of India and China.  That was the then-known world.  That’s all.  Nothing was known yet of the Western Hemisphere.  Nothing was really known of the Far East.  The then-known world was centered right there. In fact, I just drew it on a map for one of my Oklahoma classes the other night.  When we speak of these kingdoms in the Middle East, it was just that area within a few miles of the Mediterranean Sea and then on out past present day Iran and Iraq.  That was the then-known world.  And at this time, ol’ Nebuchadnezzar was in control of all of it.    He had the then-known world under his thumb.   All right, you have everything. Daniel 2:38 “And wheresoever the children of men dwell, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the heaven hath he given into thine hand, and hath made (Watch the language.  Who made him?  God did.  God gave to Nebuchadnezzar the wherewithal to be--) thee ruler over them all. Thou art this head of gold.”  Everything in that then-known world was under one man’s control.  Consequently, he was that head of gold of the statue.  He was the first great Gentile Empire.  Verse 39: Daniel 2:39a “And after thee…”  Because we know the Babylonian Empire didn’t last all that long.  I think if I remember right, about 150 years.  That’s not long in terms of history.  And what happened?  Well, at the drunken feast of his grandson, which was a generation or two later, the Medes and Persians, with a little more technology, dammed up the Euphrates River that ran through Babylon.

  They dammed it up, bypassed the city, and their armies walked in on the dry riverbed and caught the Babylonians totally by surprise.  So their great big city wall was all for nothing. All right, so Daniel tells Nebuchadnezzar that after you have come and gone-- Daniel 2:39a “And after thee shall arise another kingdom inferior to thee,…” Now doesn’t that shock you?  How can an inferior kingdom defeat a superior one?  Well, they weren’t inferior militarily.  They had to be superior.  But in which way were they inferior?  Politically.    Because now we know from history that the Medes and the Persians were two kingdoms that came together, but they kept their authority divided. Now what’s more inept than a committee?   Isn’t that about right?  What can one man do that a committee can never get done?  All he has to do is speak it, and it’s done.  A committee can sit there and argue for months on end.  All right, now that’s the progress, then, of these various metals. Even though militarily each succeeding empire is far superior, or they wouldn’t have been able to whip them, politically they got weaker—because more and more people got involved in government.  That’s the whole concept here. Now keep that in mind as we come down.  If I was a good artist, I’d go to the blackboard. But you know, I keep thinking all the time—I’ve got to share this with my whole T.V. audience.  Way back in the late ‘80s I was teaching this to one of my classes in Oklahoma, and I was using the blackboard.  Well, I knew that I couldn’t draw.  But I wanted to put something up there that at least had some kind of a concept of a man.  So I just used a stick-man.  Just a stick with a head, legs, you know—as simple as I could make it. Well, don’t you know, that was a night that one of my regular attendees brought a friend who had never ever heard anything from the Book.  He told me about it years later after he’d become a believer and one of my best students, even to this day.  And he said, “Les, do you remember the first time I came to your class?”  And I said, “Well, vaguely, but why?”  He said, “You remember you had that stupid stick man on the board? We got to the car and I said to my friend.  Pat, what in the world did you drag me into?  I never heard of anything so stupid in all my life.”  And she said, “Just settle down and come back with me next week, and in a few weeks you’ll understand.”  He said, “I did.  And I did.” And he has become an avid, avid student and testimony of God’s Grace.  So I kind of cringe from going to the board and doing something like that, because I’m afraid someone else will happen to tune in and think, what in the world is he talking about?  But anyway, for now I’m just going to do it verbally, and maybe I’ll get to the board if I get a lot of courage. Daniel 2:39 “And after thee shall arise another kingdom inferior to thee, (Which we now know from history was the Medes and the Persians, or the silver part of the image.) and another third kingdom of brass, (the belly area) which shall bear rule over all the earth.”  Now as time goes by—each one of these empires lasts from 150 or 200 years, leading all the way up to the Roman Empire at about 50 or 60 B.C. going on into A.D. 300—each succeeding empire conquered more territory.  In other words, the Medes and the Persians not only took over what Nebuchadnezzar had, but they expanded, especially to the west.  Now here again, all of this is indicative that God, in the foreordained plan of things, went from the Middle East west rather than east. Now think about that.  Everything that has been taking place since ancient Babylon, the big push of civilization and technology and all these things, has been to the west.  Not to the east.  The East is still steeped in the pagan ancient religions.  They have very little.  Now China, of course, has the underground church.  I’ll never take that away from them.  But by-and-large, India, Pakistan, China, where are they?  They’re still under those ancient eastern religions which all had their roots back at the Tower of Babel.

But beginning with these empires, the big push was to the west.  First Syria, and then when Alexander the Great came on the scene, it became the Greek Empire.  And then what was the fourth one?  Rome, further west yet.  And then Rome, of course, extended their empire as far west as Great Britain and Ireland and so forth.  So always remember that God in His design of things saw fit to send Christianity to the west rather than to the east. In fact, I’ve got another of that very same thing.  I hope I can find it.  I didn’t plan to do this, but come back with me to the Book of Acts. As Paul and Barnabas began their work leaving Antioch in Syria, they went west.  First, of course, over to Cyprus, and then they went on up into what is present day Turkey.  And then we find that on the Second Missionary Journey they had again gone through Turkey and had gone all the way to the Aegean Sea.  And then we come to the place where—did you find it?  Sixteen, okay, I’m not quite there yet.  All right, in chapter 16, yeah, chapter 16, they’re on the western coast of Turkey.  They’re on the shore of the Aegean Sea.  Greece is just across to the west.  All right, now as he had made that trek the length of Turkey, he was going to go up north a little ways and then swing back through Northern Turkey, through the shores of the Black Sea and go back to Antioch in Syria. But, a miracle happened.  Now let’s pick it up.  I’ve got time.  Acts chapter 16—I still haven’t got it, Jerry.  No.  I want it where the Holy Spirit told them they had to go back across the Sea to Europe.  Okay, okay, now we’ve finally got it.  Sorry about that for all of you on television, but that’s part of Les Feldick’s teaching.  All right, Acts 16 verse 6. Acts 16:6 “Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the region of Galatia, (Now that’s up in central Turkey.) and were forbidden of the Holy Spirit to preach the word (Where?) in Asia.”  Now of course, Asia in Scripture is pretty much the whole land of Turkey, but we can also go on back to the Middle East and so forth.  All right, the Holy Spirit forbade Paul from turning and going back to the east; but instead, now come to verse 7. Acts 16:7 “After they had come to Mysia, (Which is out there in the Aegean Sea.) they intended to go into Bithynia: (Which is over there on the north part of Turkey, next to the Black Sea.  They had intended to make a U-turn and go back east along the shore of the Black Sea.) but the Holy Spirit permitted them not.” Now, you see, it wasn’t Paul’s idea.  It wasn’t anybody else’s idea.  It was God’s idea.  Paul – you’re not going to go back east.  You’re going to go west.    All right, verse 8: Acts 16:8-9 “And they passing by Mysia came down to Troas. (Which is the same place as the ancient city of Troy.) 9. And a vision appeared to Paul in the night; There stood a man of Macedonia, (Now that’s Greece—west across the Aegean Sea from where they were in ancient Troy.) a vision appeared to Paul in the night; There stood a man of Macedonia, and prayed (or begged) him, saying, Come over into Macedonia, (Greece) and help us.”  Paul had no intentions of going to Greece, but the Holy Spirit in a vision gave him this instruction not to go back to the east, but to continue on west across the Aegean and go into Macedonia. Now in verse 10 we see the obedience of the man.  He had no intention of traveling on across to Europe.  That was almost like barbarian territory to the man.  But he doesn’t argue—verse 10: Acts 16:10 “And after he had seen the vision, (Luke is writing.  Luke says--) immediately we endeavored to go into Macedonia, (Exactly as the Holy Spirit had instructed.) assuredly gathering that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel unto them.”  Now what does that mean?  That meant that God was going to keep moving west with the Christian message instead of letting Paul take it back to the east. And you know, I have stressed that in my 30 years of teaching.  The Euphrates River has always been

a boundary line between western civilization and the Oriental religions of idolatry and opium dens and you name it to the east.  And the western world has been blessed because of it. I mentioned, I think on the program this morning.  When did the female of the species really enjoy their liberty?  With the advent of Christianity.  They were nothing but chattel for the first 4,000 years of human history.  They had no rights.  No education.  Nothing.  But, you see, Paul’s Gospel opened up the rights of not only women, but everyone.  And the same way with some of our minorities—you would never have experienced the freedoms and the privileges that you do in Western Civilization, because the Orient has always made slaves of any of what we call the minority. So again, I just can’t emphasize it enough.  Thank God that the Gospel went west instead of east!

[acourtofthought]

Elain did hit rock bottom in ACOWAR. Then confirmed in SF that she was still dealing with her trauma. That means that no matter how "fine" she looks (because it is in her characters nature to try to make the best of situations), she is still struggling over 2 years later. Especially considering some of the things Nesta said to her in SF. Especially after she told them to let her help and they chose Nesta instead. Especially after she tried to have a random hookup in SF, something that is not typical of her character, but one that ended badly. Lucien is without a true home. Still at odds with one of his oldest friends. Still struggling with an unaccepted bond. Still with a father who seems intent on destroying the peace of Prythian and with brothers who are antagonistic towards Lucien. Elain is in a court that literally sucks the life from her (if your interpretation of the dress is that NC Black is symbolic of the NC itself). She has no found family. She craves sunshine yet is in the court synonymous with darkness. She has one sister who thinks of her as a dog and one who only considers her a pleasant companion. She was rejected yet again by a guy, a guy who doesn't believe her capable of anything dangerous. A sister who doesn't want her involved in anything dangerous. I'm not sure how much lower anyone expects her character to get. We're constantly told Elain is not confrontational so she's not going to lash out. We're told Elain does not frequent taverns or bars so she's not going to start drinking. We're told that Elain is good at secret keeping therefore if she is doing anything else we're not going to know about it until her story. Elain and Lucien don't need to be causing havoc with emotional outbursts in order to have a successful healing journey / romantic arc. Az is mad he doesn't have a mate yet he has two brothers who love him and a court where he's belonged for the last 500 centuries, a court that is and probably always will be his home. His hatred of the Illyrians is something that is a "him" problem considering they're not doing anything to him personally. A female needing to deal with her body autonomy being taken from her when she was changed into an entirely new species way back in book 2, a female who had to stab a man for the first time, who witnessed her dead father laying in front of her, who had her entire HEA ripped away from her (the author's own words), who was forced to start over again in a world that is unfamiliar to her, after witnessing a war,...that is all way more than enough for her to have a book right now if that's what Sarah chooses. Az's problems are peanuts compared to Elain. Even peanuts compared to Lucien. He was pissed on Solstice then turned around to participate in a snowball battle with his brothers, something he planned for a YEAR. For all his self loathing, he still has enough comfort in his life to dedicate his time to something fun and frivolous. We have been given zero examples of this for Lucien. Az could still have the next book, absolutely! But I definitely don't understand the argument that Az is struggling more than Elain and Lucien which is why he's ready for a book while the other two are not.

Well I thought I was done with discourse, but discourse is not done with me.

This whole “Elain hasn’t hit rock bottom yet!” thing as reasoning for why Elucien’s book can’t be next is beyond stupid. Elain for the first time in ACOSF has shown her claws, has reminded everyone that she has trauma too, and has been rejected AGAIN all in the same book. She tried to offer to scry and was shut down by Nesta and Azriel. She has been forced into a box by everyone around her. Everyone except Lucien, who she avoids like the plague and who looks at her with pain and longing.

As for Azriel…how is he suffering? Because he didn’t get to eat Archeron pussy? Because (insert fake sobbing noises) Mor? His problems are not bigger than Elain’s, and he is part of Elain’s problem, in fact.

Elain’s troubles are far deeper and more important; she is not the type to lash out, so what we got in ACOSF is as close to “lashing out” that we will get. The fact that people are fundamentally misunderstanding her character and expecting her throw a tantrum just pisses me off so much.

[ed-nygma]

I think some people have been watching The Batman (2022) and missing the point of the Riddler as a villain. Now, what follows is my own interpretation of the character, and this being a subjective matter means there's no real answer. Just keep in mind this is a vague reply to a post I read recently, and that I'm not replying directly to it because I think it would be pointless to argue about something like this over the internet. (Plus, I acknowledge it's not that deep, but I wanted to talk about my own analysis of Edward)

The Riddler wasn't just lashing out, and he sure as hell wasn't fighting corruption. He wanted attention. That has always been, and will always be, the main driving force for him as a BATMAN villain. He uses a carefully constructed facade of righteousness and victimhood to draw people in. He has a cult personality, and he knows how to weaponize it. His goal was never justice, he never fell down a pipeline of radicalization due to the internet, HE used the internet as a tool to get OTHERS. And YES, you can draw parallels to problems happening in the real world right now, but I don't think drawing said parallels are enough to turn something into a 1:1 allegory.

Edward doesn't care about anyone but himself and those he perceives as equals (Batman, and I believe the same might apply to the Joker later in the Reevesverse). That's the reason he was fine allowing all of his followers to die for him while he stayed at Arkham. He never saw them as equals, and he never believed in a cause. He believed in himself, and he wanted vengeance for himself and himself alone. He had a vendetta against Gotham for what it did to him, not others, and, as such, he targeted the city.

However, unlike the Joker, the Riddler prefers positive attention. He likes to be praised and he likes to feel admired- he wants to be venerated and worshipped by people who genuinely believe he's a genius. This is why Edward hides behind morality and complex schemes, while the Joker engages in much more senseless plots. He knows he can attract more people by validating their own misery and, again, you can draw parallels to how people recruit disenfranchised men for extremist groups, but he never wanted to help a community, it doesn't matter what kind of sugary words he uses to charm his followers, he sent them on a suicide mission while he was safe at the asylum because he wanted the WHOLE CITY gone. That was his "cause." In fact, he idolized Batman not because of his morals and the way he was "helping" the city but rather because he liked the way people feared, respected (in some regards), and flaunted him. He thought he was cool, and he wanted to receive the same attention Batman was getting due to being neglected in the past, never feeling acknowledged. He drew inspiration from Batman because of this.

He's a cult leader- one who isn't devoted to any cause but himself. He wanted to destroy the city because he believed he had the right to do so due to his own personal misfortune, but he never wanted to fight corruption. If he was given the chance to become part of the elite Bruce Wayne is a part of, he would have happily taken it and never once looked back at the people who were once in a situation like his.

[yesimwriting]

The Needs of Pain (part 2)

A/n since y’all liked part one!!

... i think i could make a part 3?? we’ll see lol 

This is the LONGEST thing i’ve written on here wow,, and the smuttiest 

Warnings: teasing, oral, unprotected sex (pls this is my first time writing full smut be gentle lol)

-- 

Exhaustion is an odd result of pain. I didn’t think I was that tired after the burn. I certainly didn’t feel sleepy while Kirigan cleaned my shoulder and brushed his soft lips and sharp teeth along my neck to distract me from the pain. Why am I even thinking of that? Of the way his breath felt against my skin, the way his tongue soothed any bites he left against my skin. I breathe out flatly. 

Stop thinking of him. Stop thinking of him in that context--that’s why he did it. He enjoys getting under people’s skin, that’s why he’s always insulting the way I see the world. My hand reaches to my neck, touching my skin where I can still feel his lips on my skin, tracing the faint marks I had seen in the bathroom mirror.

I should have asked the healer to get rid of them before they fully formed, but the thought of showing them to anyone was too embarrassing to bear. I force my hand away, dropping it onto my pillow. 

He had acted so strange today, he had been so blunt. It was a tactic. He wants to be in my head and I’m giving him what he wants. I sigh, rolling over and pulling my duvet further up my body. It’s too hot for this. Ugh. I kick the duvet off of my legs, letting my nightgown wrinkle up my body. Strong hands could pull the fabric up in a similar, yet much more euphoric way. 

No. Who’s thoughts are these? The fact that I picture the same hands that dabbed at my burn earlier today has me questioning my sanity. I can’t sleep like this. Kirigan wanted to be in my head and now he is. Damn him. I can’t stand him which means I can never have him.

Desire has nothing to do with tolerance. The thought leaves my face warm and stomach twisted. 

I sit up sharply, sliding out of bed tiredly. I’ll get some air and everything will be fine. The moon will clear my mind.

The Little Palace is strangely twisting at night, all long shadows and yellow lantern light. I slip out of my room quickly, but my thoughts are not immediately banished with the change of scenery. I must be ill. Infection must have set in regardless of my efforts and the healer sealed it beneath my skin and now it’s impacting me. Fever. I’m delusional with fever. 

“I didn’t take you the kind for a late night trist.” 

His voice leaves the hairs on the back of my neck standing like soldiers at attention. I manifested him the same way people manifest the devil. “Air.” My defense is childish. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d get some air.” 

The sound of even footsteps leaves me frozen in place. “What keeps someone like you awake?” It’s like he can read through me. “Thoughts of me?” 

He can never know. “Obviously.” 

My sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed, he lets out an almost humored breath. “Or perhaps it’s pain.” 

The comment is so confusing I almost don’t realize he’s bringing up my shoulder injury. How had I let him see me so vulnerable? Why did he seem somewhat concerned in his own way? 

“My shoulder’s perfectly fine.” Good. A normal direction for this conversation to head. “It took the Healer all of two minutes.” 

The touch on my shoulder is so sudden I almost jump. Kirigan doesn’t shy away at that, fingers firmly brushing down the skin. “It feels the same.” 

I could scream. His strange observation means nothing to me, but the implication is enough to drive me mad. The implication that he knows my skin well enough to be able to judge whether the healed skin feels different is sickening. I’m tired of this. 

I turn on my heels, all of my tiredness and irritation twisting in me. “Even if it didn’t, it’s none of your concern.” 

“I didn’t realize you were extra irritable when you’re tired.”

Every conversation with him leaves me feeling petulant. “I’m not tired.” I cross my arms, keep my expression set. “I just--I wanted to get some air.” 

“Hm.” He takes a step forward, preparing to close the small distance I’d managed to create between us. “And why is that?” 

The question leaves me irritated in an odd way. A flat way. There’s a narcissistic entitlement in that question. An entitlement to my thoughts. I shrug. “I hoped it’d make me tired.” 

Kirigan draws his eyebrows together, curiosity and something resembling amusement playing at his expression. “If you’d like to be tired, I think I know a few ways to be of assistance.”

A faint, aggravating warmth comes to my face. Not only did my lie earn me a ridiculous innuendo, it’s also trapped me in a corner I cannot escape. Healing from the burn had left me pathetically drowsy. There’s no way he can’t see through me, a tired haze has to be visible on my face. My eyelids feel weighted and I’m too distracted by my deep longing for sleep to hold onto irritation. 

“I’m sure I’ll manage on my own.” The words are not meant to be a challenge, just a way to dismiss him. I don’t think he takes them that way. 

He draws his eyebrows together, eyes threatening to lose that curious quality. Kirigan steps forward, I step back blankly, desperate to keep enough distance to keep what’s left of my wits about me. He ignores my reaction, taking another step forward. I take another step back. My back touches the wall. I am a mouse and he’s an excited cat. 

“You don’t have to,” his voice is too low, too intimate, “I’m not sure that’s something you want to understand.” 

My chin raises just slightly, a silent protest. “Dependency is a fatal flaw.” 

“So is desire,” his reply is much too quick. “Desire is worse, because one can resist dependency based on pride...but desire, that is something that one sacrifices for.” 

Maybe if I was less tired I’d bother to interpret his words a little more. But all I can focus on is his tone--the quality of it. “You sound heavy.” My voice is as light as the night breeze I was craving moments ago. “But you always sound heavy.” It’s the wistful observation of someone slowly disappearing. “At least you’re pretty,” I muse, falling more and more distant by the second.

Something soft breaks across his features, his lips quirking. “Pretty?” 

I rest my back against the wall comfortably, eyes shutting without permission. “I’m sure I’ll regret that comment in a moment.” 

He stays silent, but his presence does not disappear. I can’t tell if I’m glad for it. The warm touch on my shoulder startles me out of my drowsy trance. Panic has me ready to jump off the wall, but Kirigan brushes his thumb up and down my shoulder. His touch sets any skin that comes in contact with him aflame. I shouldn’t find the gesture so comforting. My eyes flutter shut again, my body relaxing against the wall. When my protest dies out before it begins, Kirigan shifts closer. I’m confused, but too at peace to answer. Something velvety and warm brushes against my collar. Soft and warm and electric. He’s kissing my skin again. 

My lips part in hopes of arguing, but when his teeth graze the skin he already marked earlier I’m gone. My eyes shut again, but this time it’s different. Pleasure and drowsiness clear me of all inhibitions as his touch becomes more and more assured. I let him test me, his mouth moving against any and all exposed skin. I don’t even stop him when I feel his hands graze the hem of my nightgown, wrinkling it the way I imagined earlier. 

“Kirigan.” I need to find my strength, but what’s the point of strength when his touch leaves me so warm? The only acknowledgement of my protest he offers me is the lingering squeeze of my thigh before his long fingers begin to graze towards the inside of my thighs. I have no choice but to let his lips brush up my neck, his teeth grazing my skin the way they did earlier today. “Kirigan.” I try to sound firmer, but he destroys the rest of my sentence before I have the chance to get it out. His teeth nip the base of my neck, ruining my protest for a second time.

 Maybe if I was less tired I’d be able to fight him off a little better, but I’m so drowsy I had trouble thinking before he started touching me. My eyes shut in both bliss and exhaustion. His thumb presses into my hip. Something in me stalls as his fingers brush the hem of my underwear--testing me, challenging me. I open my eyes on instinct, but he remains unbothered, slipping his thumb beneath the only fabric that divides us in order to better grip my hip.

I stiffen because of how badly I want to melt. This is bad. This is insane. We’re in a hallway in the middle of the night and he’s General Kirigan. Whatever attraction I feel is another tactic to manipulate me. 

“We need to stop.” The command is weak, my voice as dry as my resolve. 

He angles his head in order to regard me a little better. His expression is one of mock confusion as he smirks. Actually smirks. “Stop what?” False innocence drips from his voice as he leans towards me, expression amused as his lips near my own. “I haven’t even started yet.” My eyes widen, something that amuses him. “Y/n?”

I’m left on edge. I’m left wanting. My lips part flatly, but words feel so distant. “Yes?” 

“What happened earlier?” His voice is the kind of sinful that’s meant to coax. Kirigan brushes his thumb across my shoulder, eyes watching mine cautiously. “How did you get burned?” 

I push against the sultry quality of his voice. “I told you--an accident.” 

“Hm.” His eyebrows draw together in a surprisingly soft way. I stare at him freely, but he ignores my gaze, eyes locked on my newly healed skin. Is he truly that concerned? “Whose accident?” 

I swallow once. “My own.” He still isn’t looking at me. “I’m not exactly the most coordinated person, you’ve witnessed my clumsiness yourself.” 

Kirigan is not convinced. Perhaps he will never fully buy my partial lie. His grip on me hardens. Restraint. I may not be able to win against his paranoia, but I might be able to distract him. Cautiously, I move one hand forward, touching the hand that’s on my shoulder. I hesitate. Touching him without prompting almost feels too intimate. I’m being ridiculous. I brush my fingers against the back of his palm, letting my touch trail up his forearm. 

“Y/n.” My name borders on a warning. 

I suppress a smile, playing into my sleepiness as I tilt my head to the side. “Yes?” 

He doesn’t reply, expression tightening as my hand snares around his wrist, pulling it off my shoulder with more care than I thought myself capable of. The intensity of his gaze is enough to burn me. I turn my full attention to his hand. I’d never admit this out loud, but this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about how objectively attractive his hands are. I kiss each of his knuckles slowly, brushing my lips against his skin tentatively. 

To my surprise, he allows my indulgence. I glance at him through my lashes. Kirigan’s eyes are shut, expression bordering on pained. “Kirigan?” 

He opens his eyes but his expression does not ease. His other hand leaves my thigh, grabbing the low collar of my nightgown with such a fierce speed it takes me a second to realize what’s happening. He pulls me away from the wall in a way that borders on violent. 

“I don’t know who you’re protecting, but I guarantee you they’re not worth it.” The words are acidic. He’s seething. “I grow tired of your resistance.” 

If he hadn’t transformed into something so untamed, I might have had enough gall to tell him I grow tired of being toyed with. I say nothing, instead I take in the abrasiveness of his anger, the tension of his grip on the thin fabric that clothes me. I am unflinching in my assessment in the most tired way possible, eyes struggling not to shut and body desperate to rest, but even more desperate for him. His eyes stare into mine, searching for something I am too far gone to offer. He must realize my sleepiness is genuine because he soon drops his gaze, taking his time in analyzing the even rise and fall of my chest as well as the hint of cleavage his grip on my nightgown is exposing. Pure heat finds itself in my face, chest, and worst of all---core. His staring lacks any shame. 

Kirigan parts his lips as if to speak but then instead takes a moment to lick them. The thought of his tongue in relation to lips only makes the burning in me worse. It’s practically an ache. A needy one. 

“I grow weary of your lack of understanding.” 

Understanding? “What is there to understand?” 

His head angles itself to one side but he doesn’t meet my gaze. The hold he has on me loosens just enough so that his hold on me is no longer taut. That should not disappoint me the way it does. I wait patiently, ignoring the bundle of unexplained nerves in my stomach as best as I can. Something strange colors his features when he finally looks at me again, something almost vulnerable. 

“I brought you here.” He sounds farther from me than ever. “I…” His exhale is gentle, but his expression is quick to harden. “Who are you so willing to protect?”

I must be really tired because his voice sounds like it borders on heart ache. If I didn’t fear Arthur’s safety I’d tell Kirigan everything if it meant his pain would dissipate. I never thought Kirigan’s potential pain would bother me, but now that I’ve seen him look stricken by something so weighted--now that I’ve seen the way he wears pain--I don’t want to be the one to give him that. I want to be the one to give him some kind of sanctuary. The thought leaves me with a desire to flea. 

“Will you just believe me when I say it’s no one?” In a way that’s the truth. Arthur is not particularly significant unless you’re a young Grisha female with a desire for heart ache. “No one worth mentioning at least.” 

He’s quick to retighten his hold on my nightgown, leaving the fabric taut and more of me exposed. “You being desperate to protect them makes them worth interest.” A different response than I expected. 

My lips thin. “Only because it was a small accident. They don’t deserve to be punished over the briefest loss of focus.” 

I take his silence as an indicator that he is considering my words. His free hand finds my shoulder as he pulls me even closer to him by the fabric he’s gripping. “And if I were to revoke the threat of punishment?” His voice is the definition of temptation, low and promising and coddling me with its sinfulness. I still as Kirigan leans forward so that his lips are practically on my ear. “Then would you tell me? If I released you from the binds of your nobility?” My lips part but I have no words prepared. Before I can think of what to say, his lips graze the side of my jaw before his teeth nip at the end of my ear. “Tell me just to humor me.” 

The command doesn’t make sense to me, but from his lips it feels important. “You won’t hurt them for what happened?” 

His voice seems rougher than before, “Would that make a difference?” 

“It would make all the difference.” I don’t like the honesty of my words. 

Kirigan allows one hand to trail down my waist--a gesture I consider obscenely intimate when paired with the soft brush of his lips on my collar. “I already know who.” His voice is a dark hum. “I was always going to know one way or another--but it’s good to know you would have told me.”

My stomach lurches, dread pouring into me like tar. Before fear can force me to take action, Kirigan begins to leave open mouth kisses from the top of my jaw to the bottom of my neck, taking his time to assault any spot of skin with his tongue that he wants. This reminds me too much of earlier--touches meant to distract from pain with the use of pleasure. 

“Are you--” His mouth is now on my collar, threatening to destroy my question. “Are you going to hurt him?”

At that Kirigan straightens. The sudden lack of contact leaves me cold. I shouldn't be thinking of him. Of his touch. “I’m curious,” he draws out each syllable, delighting in my nerves, “Would you bear his punishment?” 

I’m not sure. I hate that. I haven’t known Arthur for that long, and while he’s kind, he also seems to see all women as replaceable. That isn’t reason for him to endure Kirigan’s punishment but I don’t know him well enough to just blindly agree to that. I loathe myself for not being noble enough to take Arthur’s punishment instantly. 

“What kind of punishment?” 

Kirigan’s expression twists into a greedy smile. He pushes me back easily, pressing me into the wall with more confidence than ever. I’m silent in my confusion until he presses himself against me and I feel something hard and bulging press into where I’m neediest. I stifle a gasp of surprise and something similar to pleasure. “I’m sure I could think of something for you.” I’d care more about my confusion if hot need wasn’t flooding my thoughts and my body with undeniable desperation. “I haven’t even spoken to him.” I exhale, untrusting relief desperate to escape me. Kirigan is quick to lean forward, lips brushing my ear as he prepares to whisper. “I’m more likely to harm him because he has your favor than anything else.”

Warmth burns my face. “He doesn’t--he’s not exactly the one that holds my favor.”

The heat of his breath adds to my burning as he presses his bulge into my core again. “And who does?” 

I’m not sure what he considers favor, but if it has anything to do with wanting he wins. But he can never know that. “There are some contenders, but no one yet.” 

His hand moves off my hip and nears my throat. “Would it be too bold to assume I’m on the short list?”

He’s two steps away from taking me in an open hallway, I doubt he finds much bold. “Do you want to be?” 

Kirigan’s hand tightens on my throat. “I’ve made it clear from the beginning what I want.” His words are lethal and each syllable has him restricting my airflow a little more. Something in me must be broken because my neediness only worsens. “I brought you here because I see all that you could be. Forget being a Saint, we could be gods.” The sentiment is so raw it’s almost harder to bear than his tight grip on my neck. He leans close again, his scent only adding to my budding lightheadedness. “Say the word, and I could have you praising me like I’m already a god.” My stomach knots in both nerves and insatiable hunger. “Though I’m the one that would be doing the worshipping.” 

My resolve is shattered, leaving me broken and twisting. He releases his hold on my neck in order to move his hand beneath my chin. There is nothing gentle about the way he jerks my head forward, forcing me to look into his eyes. Something about the look he gives me has me melting. His eyes are searching for something in me.

He must find whatever he’s looking for because I feel his touch against my heat, fingers pressing against fabric. I bite my lip on instinct, suppressing the sound of my undoing. Kirigan’s eyes never leave mine as the hand on my chin moves to brush against my bottom lip. 

“I can only give you what you want if you tell me what that is.” 

He exhales slowly, pressing his thumb against my lip downwards. My mouth parts on instinct, something that he takes well. His thumb enters my mouth slowly, taking in my reaction as I taste his skin on my tongue. Kirigan pulls his thumb away from my tongue slowly, a thin string of saliva connecting him to my mouth. With one swift tug, his free hand pulls the only fabric separating him from where I want him most down my thighs. His expression reveals nothing as his thumb, still wet with my saliva, is pressed against my core. His touch teases my clit, just barely brushing where I need him most. The whine that escapes me is so desperate I’m ashamed I can’t help it. 

“So wet already,” his appraisal is gentle, the praise whispered against my throat as his lips brush against my neck. “So wet, so needy that you’d let me take you in this hallway and I’ve hardly touched you.” His finger presses further into me. I let out another pathetic breath. “A pity, someone like you--so painfully under cared for.” I’m reduced to nothing by his words and touch. “What I’d give to undue you here, against the wall--I’d have you crying so loudly everyone would know that I’ve claimed you, that I’ve made you mine.” Before I can reflect on his words, he steps back, pulling my underwear back up as quickly as he yanked it down. 

I let out an instinctual whine. My hand moves to his arm, grabbing him like he’s the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth. “What--” 

Kirigan squeezes my hand, a predator’s smile on his lips. “I want to feel all of you,” his hand squeezes my hip, “I can’t exactly do that against a wall, dove of mine,” he leans forward, lips brushing against my jaw in a way that leaves me chilled and melting at the same time, “At least not the first time.” 

His whisper forces my breathing to hitch, a fact that he notices with an amused look as his thumb brushes against my collar. Kirigan pulls me away from the wall easily. Even the causal touch feels electric against my skin. 

The walk towards my room is tense, his hands never leaving me as if he’s aware of how necessary it is to keep me distracted to ward off my better sense. When we reach my door, Kirigan opens it like it’s his. Entitled. Typical. 

I step into the room, his touch lingering on my arm. A brief shyness pushes itself into my chest. I had let Kirigan touch me in a public space and lead me back to my room. The door closes. I don’t turn. 

Kirigan’s hand squeezes my shoulder. “Shy, now?” His question is teasing, rekindling the fire beneath my skin as he places an open mouth kiss on my neck. He plays with the thin strap of my nightgown, pushing it off my shoulder. He kisses down my neck, collarbone, and shoulder. My inhibitions are melted away again. “When your breathing stalls like that,” his whisper is enough to elicit a desperate shudder, “I am left desperate.” 

He leans forward, mouth trailing down my chest, coming dangerously close to my breasts. The electric current of his touch is all consuming and addicting. I press my back into his chest. His hands are the opposite of shy, touching me everywhere except where I’m most desperate. Kirigan’s hand places itself between my thighs, using his thumb to tease my entrance. I let out a needy sound. And then he retracts his hand, grabbing my shoulders and turning me in one swift motion. 

“Kirigan.” 

His eyes are dark, clouded by something I don’t understand but am too aware that I reciprocate. “Tell me that I have your favor.” His words are taut, bordering on snapping. Kirigan’s grip on me tightens hard enough to bruise, an assertive need taking over him. “That you want me.”

Desire, pride, and rationality twist in my stomach, leaving me too distracted to form words. My gaze drops to the ground on instinct, something Kirigan clearly finds unacceptable because he’s quick to grab my chin and force my eyes to meet his. 

I swallow once, courage withering beneath the look in his eyes. It’s as twisted as a spindling shadow, but the look is fierce admirational, appreciation so deep I could drown in it. It scares and consols me all at once. “I want you.” There’s something pained about such powerful emotion. I loathe and am empowered by it all at once. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” The words leave my throat scorching with their sincerity. 

As soon as the words leave me, he’s closing the distance between us, the slightest exhale of tension leaving his lips before they meet mine, prepared to devour me. I reciprocate his actions on instinct alone. There is no hesitation, no space, and yet it is not enough. Not enough and yet I don’t know how to be closer. But Kirigan does. One of his hands cup my cheek, coaxing me towards him as if I could possibly have the will to leave him. He steps forward, guiding me to step back. I obey fluidly until I feel something hit the back of my legs. It’d startle me if I wasn’t so consumed by his touch.

His mouth begins to move away from my skin. I chase after him, desperate to keep him touching me. He stops me by placing a hand on my shoulder, a warning about my neediness. I pout, but as he studies me I pant. Maybe the excuse for air was a good idea. I don’t fight the uneasiness of my breathing as I hold Kirigan’s gaze. He regards me with a patience I consider unbearable, taking in the determined look in his eyes, my swollen lips, disheveled hair, and the top of my night gown that’s half falling off. 

It’s in this moment I realize how much more vulnerable than him I am. 

If Kirigan notices any shift in me, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he adjusts his hand on my cheek, his thumb brushing the hot skin gently. “You are everything.” His voice is cracking glass. “Everything that’s good, at least.” 

Maybe he did notice my initial reaction because I am no longer certain that I am the one that’s most vulnerable. “You’re better than you think.” I only say this because it would only weigh on me more to stay silent. “I see it and you don’t want me to.” 

His hand continues to stroke my cheek. “I want you to see all of me.” The heavy beating of my heart seems to stall in my chest. Kirigan drops his hand before grasping the hem of my nightgown. He pulls the fabric upwards easily, bundling the fabric above my hip. “I want you to…” He exhales flatly, pulling the fabric upwards even more. Nerves flood my stomach as he leans towards me, kissing down my jaw. “To know me,” he whispers against my throat.

I am nothing but uneven breaths as he mouth moves down my chest, stalling only once he’s reached my breasts. He pushes me forward easily, guiding me so that I’m laying on my bed. He’s quick to move over me, kissing up my neck as he adjusts so that I’m against the headboard.

When he pulls away again, I’m left pouting. He grins, fueled by my disappointment. “Don’t worry,” he breathes, fingers hooking around the waistband of my underwear before tugging it down my legs easily, “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.” 

Being so exposed has my doubts flooding back, but Kirigan is quick to fight against my instincts in a way only he seems capable of. He squeezes the inside of my upper thigh before leaning down, pressing his mouth onto the skin his fingers just touched. His kisses here are meant to leave me even more desperate, each nip and fleeting pass of his tongue is lazy yet intentional. I am incapable of doing else besides letting out pathetic whines. 

He ignores where I need him most, kissing up my thigh, across my lower stomach, and then down my other thigh. Kirigan continues the pattern across my skin, ignoring any pleas I swallow my pride to give. He is not rushed by my words or cries or the occasional desperate adjustment of my hips. 

Kirigan lifts his head slightly, releasing my inner thigh with an obscene ‘pop’. “Patience.” His fingers trail up my thigh and over my core, teasing my entrance with his lithe fingers. “Unless you’re ready to beg?” 

It’s a challenge, like everything else. The urge to give him my pride to satisfy the electric desire I’m not sure I’m capable of bearing. But then I note his tense hold on my thigh. A sign of restraint, of want. 

“And if I want you to beg for me?” I don’t know where the words come from, but they charge the room with potential. 

Something strange crosses his fingers before his lips tilt upwards in a dark way. “Would you like the strength of that? To have someone like me powerless before you?” My face warms. Kirigan leaves a lingering kiss on my thigh before he moves off the bed. I sigh at the loss of contact, but my tired neediness stalls at the sound of his belt coming undone. “I want to see you on your knees.” I sit up carelessly, desperate to obey him. I’m kneeling in front of him in an instant, taking in his length. The size of it has me gaping. “Open your mouth.” 

I take the order more eagerly than I should, but I make no move to take him. This is just another challenge. I keep my eyes on his as I stick my tongue out before licking the bottom of his member all the way up to his tip. The sound he lets out is pure sin. I lick his tip slowly, each motion of my tongue is strategic as I finally place him in my mouth. I hollow my cheeks, moving up and down slowly. 

The pace is not enough for him, he grips my hair from my scalp as he thrusts into my mouth. The motion is more powerful than I expected and I am left unable to breathe. My slight gag does the opposite of discourage him, he repeats the motion again and again, pushing himself into me until I can feel him in my throat. 

The sounds he lets out are a chorus to me, but it’s not enough. I need more control, I need a way to make him beg. I raise a hand, wrapping it around the base that I cannot fit into my mouth. I stroke him once slowly, making a point as I try to push myself back in order to make him want me more. 

He groans again. I make a point of pushing myself off of him. Precum protrudes his tip. I lick it off of him slowly. I lick up and down his member in the smallest way possible. 

“Y/n,” the restraint in his voice fuels my teasing, “Tease me and you’ll still be overwhelmed by want when the sun rises.” 

A pout tugs at my lips before I open my mouth again, taking Kirigan to my limit. He lets me set the pace of my bobs at first, but then he becomes desperate, holding me in place by the roots of my hair as he moans and thrusts into me without restraint. He ignores my choking as he continues until he throws his head back, letting out a quick praise of my name.

He finishes in my mouth and I swallow all he offers me greedly. I back off my knees slowly, throat burning as his member leaves my mouth. “On the bed.” He’s turned into something insatiable. “Now.” 

I move back to my bed, laying in the same position as before. He takes his time approaching me. When he finally gets to me, he kisses my thighs easily. I let out a small breath before something that’s pure pleasure meets my core. His tongue laps upwards lazily, grazing my clit but not quite touching it.  My hips thrust towards his face, but with hand he holds me down. A coil in my stomach continues to build as he angles himself more purposefully, tongue finally taking care of my clit. My gasps become less and less reasonable as he continues to lap at all that my body has to offer. The coil tightens, I see stars--and then, like cruelty personified, he pulls away. His absence leaves me ready to cry out. 

My desperation only fuels Kirigan as he lines himself with my entrance. Concern twists my stomach as I consider how full my mouth felt when he was in me. I expect some level of warning, but he thrusts into me with no warning. I let out a pathetic cry, but that means nothing to him as he pulls out just to thrust into me with full force again.

“Only I can hurt you,” he demands, thrusting into me as I call out his name. My eyes water at the sensation of such fullness, pleasure and pain combining themselves in a way that leaves me incapable of thought. “Your tears,” he muses, one hand moving to wipe at a tear rolling down my cheek, “Are mine.” 

His thrusts become more and more brutal, less and less even. Each movement of his body in mine leaves me begging for more and less at the same time. He continues until the coil in my stomach tenses to the point of breaking. 

“Kirigan,” I manage, voice far away, “I’m going t--”

“I know,” he offers, “finish with me, dove.” His hand finds my throat, adding the slightest bit of restrained pressure. “And do not hold in your cries.” 

Two more sharp thrusts have us both finishing, calling out for each other as we try to draw out the high of our orgasms together. 

We stay intertwined like that for longer than we should, but then Kirigan stands. I envy his ability to do so. I don’t call for him even though I still don’t want to be alone here. A moment later, I hear him approach. I’m too drowsy to ask what he’s doing as a damp towel is wiped against my forehead and inner thighs. 

When he’s finished cleaning me, some raw emotion settles in my chest. “Are you leaving?” 

Kirigan hesitates. “Not if you don’t want me to.” 

I roll over, the motion leaves my body aching. Kirigan accepts my invitation, crawling beneath my sheets and adjusting our bodies so that he can rest his hand on my back. 

--

Tags: @luminous-99 @voyevoda-thejoy @voidmalfoy 

@i-padfootblack-things

 @all-art-is-quite-useless @buckverse @mandowh0re @benbarnes-supremacy

@we-love-our-bandz @fire-in-her-veinz @weirdowithnobeardo @bvudzsoo @kaque @ponyboys-sunsets @coldlilheart @granillx @dreamohlittledreamofme @sanna2020 @zaynzierulez 

@ive-died-everday-waiting-for-you @xxaerynxx @ralesera @tea-effect 

@tranquillitymoon

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[therainroguefanfiction]

❉ 139 Dreams (Tej Parker 2 of 2) External

Table of Contents | Previous

Genre: Angst, fluff, romance

Word Count: 3,328

Pairing: Heavyset Female! Reader x Tej

World: The Fast & The Furious franchise

Warnings: Violence

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ: ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

"Ah! There they are. Disaster." Safar shook his head in disbelief as the group entered the garage, led by Ramsey.

"I'm sorry," she told him, but he wasn't having any of it.

"I get you an invite to the most exclusive party in Abu Dhabi -"

"Safar..."

"No, no, no. You steal the host's car and you jump it between two buildings."

"Actually, it was three buildings," Brian interjected, holding up three fingers. You snorted, elbowing him in the ribs and getting a grin in return.

"Oh!" Safar laughed sarcastically. "Two? Insult. Three? Honor. My bad."

The door closed loudly and Mr. Nobody approached the group with Sheppard close behind. "Well, well, well. I have to say, you've got an interesting interpretation there of 'low-key,' Mr. Toretto. You know, Dom, I thought we had an understanding."

Dom shrugged nonchalantly. "Sometimes you have to play the hand you're dealt."

"Now, that's why I prefer to be the dealer."

You shifted your weight and winced, holding your arm over your stomach. One would think having extra weight would help shield a person, but it really doesn't. Especially when someone hits your stomach with the leg of a table like they were batting for a homerun. It honestly hurt like a bitch, but you were confident that the damage wasn't anything serious. More of an inconvenience than anything.

A warm hand rested on the small of your back and Tej leaned toward you, his voice soft so as not to draw attention to the two of you. "You good?"

You released a shaky breath, partly because of the pain and partly because of how close he was to you. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely." You glanced at Ramsey as she approached a set of computers with God's Eye in her hand. You nodded toward her. "You should be over there. Might learn something."

Tej hesitated, looking from you to the computers a couple of times before finally nodding and approaching them. His eyes lit up when he did. "Oh damn, this is crazy."

Ramsey plugged in the drive and the monitors flickered to life.

"What's it doing now?" questioned Rome.

"It's hunting," she answered. "Hacking into the security cameras at Etihad Towers. That's the last place you saw Shaw, so that's where we'll start."

Footage of the party popped up, showing Shaw on the elevator.

"That's him." Brian stepped closer, pointing him out. "Right there."

"Wait, wait." Tej leaned closer. "What are these numbers right here for?"

"It's bio-mapping Shaw's face. It'll run it against every camera. Every audio device in this hemisphere."

"So much for privacy," you muttered, slowly lowering yourself onto a nearby stool.

"Bingo. Looks like he's holed up here."

"That's perfect," Brian stated. "Automated factory, no people, lots of places to hide."

Mr. Nobody was impressed. "You just changed the face of manhunts forever. Congratulations."

Personally, you believed the thing should be destroyed. It's impossible to keep power from the evil that desires it and, honestly, no one should have that much power no matter what side they consider themselves on. It's a literal disaster magnet! But you kept your thoughts to yourself, not wanting to risk making yourself look like a fool in front of Tej.

"Hey, uh..." Rome leaned toward Ramsey. "Can I check my email real quick?"

You shook your head in disbelief. The others sent him deadpan stares.

Dom was the one to break the silence, but it wasn't an answer to Rome's question. "Dawn's up in two hours. We're gonna go take down Shaw then. Go get changed."

You caught Brian's eyes and you knew what he was thinking - no way was Dom gonna wait 'til dawn, he just didn't want to put his crew in the line of fire. 'He can be such a dad sometimes, sheesh.'

The others started to clear out, happy over the idea of getting changed and getting some rest, but you stayed put, asking one of the soldiers if they could get you some painkillers. While waiting on him to return, Tej approached you, tapping your arm with the back of his hand.

"Come on, Y/N. You can ride with me."

As badly as you wanted to accept that offer, you knew you had a job to do. Instead, you offered him a small smile. "Thanks, Tej, but... I think I'll hang back here for a bit."

His brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Oh, uh..."

An arm slung around your shoulders as Brian appeared at your side. "I asked her to. We need to have a little chat about something private."

Tej didn't look convinced as his eyes darted between the two of you, but he did trust both of you so he finally nodded. "Alright. Call me if you need me."

"Night, Tej." You gave him a little wave and he smiled before turning around and leaving the garage.

"Let's go," Brian urged before the two of you rushed toward the other side of the building where Mr. Nobody and his men were preparing. Dom was there, as well, already out of his suit.

"I thought you said at dawn," commented Mr. Nobody.

"My guys are racers," Dom told him seriously. "The best drivers in the world, but they ain't killers."

Brian stepped around the corner, sending you a look. "I told you he'd say that."

You were close behind, clicking your tongue. "Maybe not direct killers, but we've ended quite a few people inadvertently."

Dom sent you both a look, much like a parent displeased with his unruly children.

"We know you too well, Dom, and we're going with you."

You nodded, giving him a grin. "Can't get rid of us that easily, man."

"Well, looks like we've got a nice little hunting party." Mr. Nobody clapped his hands as he looked over at you. "Let's go bag a shadow."

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ: ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

"Have you ever heard the saying, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'?" Shaw sat at a small, square table eating a steak dinner. He didn't look the least bit surprised or worried by the group of armed soldiers surrounding him, their weapons trained and ready to fire at a moment's notice.

You gripped the assault rifle tightly, stepping closer to Brian. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Yeah, me too."

"I don't have friends," Dom told him confidently. "I got family."

"Well, I got a lot of friends."

The lights cut off suddenly, plunging the factory into darkness. An explosion went off somewhere behind you, the light showing off a group of armed men before fading. Gunfire filled the air and you dived for cover behind a large wooden crate. Bullets grazed it seconds later, sending slivers of wood flying everywhere.

"Two-two formation!" Mr. Nobody barked loudly. "Sheppard, peel one!"

You couldn't see shit beyond the flash of muzzles as they fired and you squinted into the darkness. Your eyes started to adjust and you slowly peered over the top of the crate, lying down fire on the men closest to you. You saw Mose raising his gun, aiming at a soldier who had his back to the man and you scowled, shifting your aim to take fire but you were too slow, Mose downing the soldier in a matter of a couple seconds with a shot to the head. You fired at him and he dodged.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw Mr. Nobody hit the ground. The second your attention was elsewhere, Mose took advantage, aiming for your head but you moved at the last second. A sharp pain ripped through your shoulder and you gritted your teeth in pain, spraying fire toward him. Blood soaked the white dress shirt you wore, trickling down your arm. Adrenaline did its job, keeping most of the pain at bay so you could continue fighting for your life and the life of everyone else on your team. They were pushing up, though, forcing you to snake between crates and large metal drums to get closer to your team.

"Cover me!" Brian yelled at you before attempting to grab the God's Eye. You did your best, taking out several of the enemies before they could attack him, but there were just too many. For every guy you took down, it seemed like two more popped up in his place.

"Brian, leave it!" Dom ordered, helping Mr. Nobody toward the exit while you and Brian laid down cover fire. You heard something heavier than bullets clang against the ground.

"Get down!" Brian cried.

"Shit, shit, shit!" You rushed after them and the grenade exploded behind you, the blast pushing you forward so quickly that you lost your footing, falling to the ground. Your ears were ringing, head fuzzy, and body sore, but there was no time to rest. Brian grabbed your arm and yanked you up.

Dom lifted Mr. Nobody like he was nothing more than a sack of potatoes. "I got you!"

You rushed out of the building, stepping around Dom so you could pull the back door open to the closest SUV. He put him inside rougher than he meant to before hopping in beside him, slamming the door. Brian jumped into the driver's seat and you got in beside him, breathing heavily as he put the SUV in reverse and whipped it around, the tires squealing in protest.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ: ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

"We gotta get you two to the hospital," Brian said in a slightly panicked tone, glancing at Mr. Nobody who had begun coughing loudly. His bulletproof vest had caught one bullet, but another had lodged deep into his side.

"No, you're not," he ordered in a pained voice. "I carry my own... health insurance. SOCM medics on standby. They're already inbound. Pull over, kid!"

Brian was reluctant to do so, but he relented. The sun was beginning to rise, the sky lighting up around you. You tugged the white dress shirt off with a grunt of pain, earning a worried look from the blonde beside you. You just smiled tiredly, tearing a strip of the cloth before wrapping it around the wound as best as you could, using your teeth to tighten it. The adrenaline was nearly gone now and waves of pain were beginning to crash over you.

Dom got out when the SUV came to a stop, helping Mr. Nobody out and over to a metal barrier. After ordering you to stay put, Brian jumped out to join them. You wanted to retort, to ask where you could possibly go, but you honestly didn't have the energy for sarcasm. You were exhausted and in a lot of pain.

It wasn't until the helicopter appeared on the horizon that the two men returned to the SUV, peeling off down the sandy road.

"A war is coming for us," Dom stated from the backseat. "Whether we like it or not. If a war is coming... we're gonna face them on the streets we know best."

"We're going home?" you wondered softly, watching the sand dunes fly by out the window.

"Yeah," Dom gently patted your arm, mindful of the wound. "We're going home."

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ: ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

"Should've taken you to the hospital," Brian muttered as he helped you out of the SUV.

"We don't have time for that," you muttered back, following Dom into the lobby of the hotel. "The wound isn't too bad, I can stitch it up myself before our flight leaves. Just..." you winced in pain, clutching your shoulder. "...get me to my room."

"I'll wake up the others," Dom told you.

When the elevator stopped on your floor, Brian helped you to your room, but he was crowding you like a mother hen and it was working on your last nerve. "Brian, can you please go buy me some painkillers, whiskey, and bandages?"

He seemed hesitant to leave you.

"Please, Bri."

"Yeah... yeah, alright. I'll be right back so hang in there."

You breathed deeply when he finally left, sliding down to the floor with your back against the bed. With more effort than usual, you managed to tug over the black duffel back from beside the bed, pulling it open to search for the items you would need - fishing wire, a needle, a tiny bottle of rum, and a white towel. You realized that you should probably start investing in red towels instead.

The door slammed open, bouncing against the wall and your brow furrowed in confusion, knowing there was no way Brian had returned that quickly. To your surprise, it was Tej that rounded the corner, looking equal parts worried and panicked.

"Jesus." He fell to his knees beside you, inspecting the wound. "You said you wouldn't do anything reckless."

"Technically speaking, that only applied to the party, not what happened after." You resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze.

"Don't move," he told you sternly before leaning closer, his hand on your arm. "Looks like the bullet went straight through." He folded the towel, holding it beneath the wound before slowly pouring the rum over your skin.

You hissed in pain, fingers clenching around the carpet.

"Sorry. Just bear with it, baby girl."

The pet name sent waves of heat to your face and you quickly turned your head away so he wouldn't notice, your voice soft. "You don't have to do this, you know... I can do it myself."

"Not happening," he shook his head, lighting pressing the soaked cloth over the wound. "What were you thinking, going with them?" He dipped the needle into the rub for some sort of sterilization before threading the fishing wire through it. "I can't believe they took you with them."

"I didn't give 'em much choice," you muttered, leaning your head back against the mattress and closing your eyes. "I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't go."

"Stop putting others before yourself," he scolded with an angry tone, pressing the needle into your skin. "You're always throwing yourself in the line of fire, not caring what happens to you."

"Well... yeah. As long as you guys are safe, that's all I care about."

"And what about what we care about? What I care about?"

You slowly lifted your head to look at him, meeting his gaze. You had never seen so much heat, so much raw emotion in his eyes before. It stole your breath away. "Tej..."

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," he told you softly, resting his hand on your cheek. "I can't lose you, YN."

Your heart skipped a beat, lips opening and closing as you tried to form a sentence. The door opened again and Brian rounded the corner with a plastic bag in his hands. He seemed relieved to see Tej there.

"Here, this will help." He set the bag down beside you, taking out extra strength pain pills and your favorite drink.

"Thanks, Bri," you murmured softly, holding your hand out so he could place the pills into your hand

"How's it look?"

"It looks worse than it is," Tej told him, tieing off the fishing line. "It's a solid fix for now, but I'm taking her to the hospital as soon as we land."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"No," they both chorused, making you scoff.

"Rude asses."

Brian patted his shoulder. "I'll leave her in your hands, then. Let me know if you need anything else."

Your eyes followed him as he rounded the corner, listening to the sound of the door closing behind him. A thick silence had settled over you as Tej wrapped the wound with the bandage. You wanted to say something to him, to give him an excuse for your behavior, but you couldn't manage more than a soft, "Sorry..."

His expression softened. "I'm just glad you're okay, baby girl."

That damned pet name again! Tears stung at your eyes and you bit down hard on your lip but it didn't stop them from rushing down your cheeks. He noticed your trembling shoulders before your tears.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he inquired softly, cupping your cheek to make you look at him. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

You shook your head, wiping furiously at your eyes but the tears refused to stop. "No, it's just... everything!" You breathed out.

"It's been rough lately." His thumb brushed away your tears and he smiled softly. "But we'll get through it, we always do. Right now, you only need to focus on healing up, baby girl."

You shot up, ignoring the pain in your shoulder. "Stop calling me that!"

"I've always called you that." He stood up, a frown tugging at his lips. He reached out for you but you stepped back, running a hand through your hair.

"I know that! It's just... when you call me that, you give me hope and that fucking hurts."

"Hope for what?"

You didn't answer, turning your back to him. Regret filled you and you scolded yourself for opening your big mouth. You felt embarrassed, you were in pain, and you just wanted to sleep and forget everything but Tej wasn't going to let this go, you knew that.

He tried to turn you toward him but you wouldn't budge so he moved to stand in front of you instead, lifting your chin up to meet his eyes. "Hope for what, Y/N? For this?" His lips captured your own, stealing the breath from your lungs.

Your hands shook as you reached for the polo shirt he was wearing, your fingers curling around the fabric. And then you came to your senses, pushing him away. "Why are you doing this to me, Tej? It fucking hurts, okay? Every time you call me that, it gives me this tiny sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe there's a chance you could like me, but I know that won't ever happen..."

"You seem pretty sure about that." Tej's face was blank, not betraying how he was feeling or what was going through his mind.

You scoffed. "Of course I am. You don't exactly hide the type of women you like and I'm nothing like them! The perfect girls to parade around in fancy cars... I'm fat and don't even qualify as cute. No one wants to see my fat ass on a car and I get that. I accepted it but you always do these small things that give me hope and I can't take it anymore!" Tears were now falling freely from your eyes and you didn't care to stop them this time.

"I won't lie, I do find them attractive," Tej slowly closed the distance between you. "But to me, you're damn sexy, Y/N."

"Stop it."

"It's not just about the external, baby girl. It's about what's here," he tapped two fingers over your heart, looking deeply into your eyes. "So what if you're not skinny? You are the strongest, bravest woman I know with a heart of gold, and that makes you the sexiest woman in the world. Those other girls may catch my eyes, but you're the only one who caught my heart."

"Tej..." You searched his eyes for any sign of deceit but you saw only genuine love and warmth.

He smiled, his thumb brushing your cheek as he leaned in, claiming your lips again. You clutched at his shirt, bringing him closer as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. "I love you, baby girl. Don't ever forget that."

"I... love you too, Tej," you replied softly, a smile tugging at your lips. Saying the words for the first time out loud felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You felt so much relief and happiness swirling inside of you. You never thought you would ever see this day but now that it was here, you wanted it to last forever.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ: ⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

[seyaryminamoto]

As someone, who's favourite character is Zuko, let me just say that your analysis about the Southern Raiders is spot on. Something about that episode (especially the way Zuko acted) always felt a little... off to me. And I could never figure out what it was exactly and considering the fact that discussion about this episode centered around the Kataang vs Zutara, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. So, I guess thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Oh, I really feel ya, anon. If you actually don't look at the episode from a shipping point of view, which seems to be the focus of most the fandom, a lot of unpleasant things really start sticking out. I'm personally neutral to the Kataang vs. Zutara debate, I see good points and drawbacks to both ships, and no one's going to convince me that this episode proved the superiority of either pairing, especially when the shipping interpretations have never been important to me when analyzing this episode. People can say Aang is right in the end, they can say Zuko understands Katara's plight better (which, considering Aang has lost even more people he loved than Zuko has, he certainly should have understood Katara's suffering quite well too), but focusing on whether Zuko or Aang are the angel or the devil on Katara's shoulders practically blinds everyone to the very glaring and mindboggling flaws in this episode's writing, imo.

In general, the concept of Zuko's life-changing field trips with the three Gaang members he'd wronged the most is fine and fun for most people, but from the first time I watched the show it felt like the production team knew they were pressed for time and needed some veeeery quick and effective solution for Zuko to gain acceptance in the Gaang ASAP despite all the bad blood there. I can imagine a lot of people love these episodes, but admittedly I wouldn't rank any of them among my favorites because, as interesting as some of their concepts could be, if executed right, my immersion certainly wasn't as strong as with the rest of the show due to the nagging feeling that this was all for the sake of redeeming Zuko in the eyes of each Gaang member... and not necessarily in the eyes of the audience.

They get away with it, of course, because by this point in time, the audience is 100% conditioned to love the Gaang and Zuko, and if you see them getting along, you should be rejoicing in their team-up... but if you put some emotional distance between yourself as a viewer and the events of these episodes, their writing leaves a lot to be desired, especially in the concept of giving Zuko a quick whitewashing in the eyes of Aang, Sokka and Katara, one after the other, so they can genuinely accept him as a teammate and friend. If we'd seen similar trips frequently or occasionally in the rest of the show, with two specific members of the team taking off on an adventure by themselves, it might not be so glaringly obvious (and even... artificial? I guess?) that they're trying to quick-redeem him for each of them here, but on top of it happening thrice, it's literally happening one after the other, too. There's no episodes in-between, it's just literally a four-parter arc of "let's help Zuko become friends with these three".

The plotlines to be dealt with in these episodes are basically catered to each Gaang member, tailor-made life-changing field trips based on whatever they'll value the most, all of it conveniently possible and doable in the span of time they have between Zuko's joining of their group and the show's finale. Aang needs to learn firebending, Sokka needs to save his dad, Katara is permanently grieving for her mother's death. And so, Zuko to the rescue! If he helps them with their personal character quests, he gets 50+ approval points! :'D Honestly, I'm absolutely not against the notion of Zuko befriending them, obviously not, but the methods through which they chose to make it happen simply might not be the finest...?

Zuko loses his ability to bend because he "lost his rage", but he's still angry pretty often, the show even spoofs its own writing by showing him losing his patience at Sokka... while at the same time trying to sell that Zuko "isn't angry" anymore? Zuko helps break out random prisoners from the Boiling Rock without taking a single moment to actually learn who they are, why they were locked up, and without pondering if they deserve to be helped or if perhaps they're genuinely dangerous? Zuko gives Katara every possible tool and information she needs to take revenge on Yon Rha, because, loosely quoting his own words, he "cares what she thinks of him"...?

How about if we'd seen Zuko trying to connect with Fire Nation people, to help his fellow Fire Nation citizens, especially the ones who were living in dreadful conditions, like the ones in the Jang Hui river village? How about if we'd seen Zuko saving lives rather than threatening to take them? How about if we'd seen Zuko actually reasoning with his anger, and either working his way out of it, or repurposing it consciously, or making legitimate, personal efforts to find a new source of strength for his firebending through self-reflection, above all else?

We didn't really need sudden one-on-one field trips to teach Aang, Katara and Sokka to trust Zuko: we needed Zuko to prove himself worthy of that trust, to show how much he has changed, to literally contrast his new behavior with the old, to actually see that the guy no longer jumps into violence-mode 24/7, that he's willing to listen to other people's opinions or wisdom, that he wants to learn better when he knows he's misguided or misunderstanding something or another. Would he have become BFFs with any of them in four episodes if this had happened? Well, it definitely would have happened with Aang, the other two would have been trickier, but they definitely would have been more willing to accept him if they actually got to SEE that the changes in Zuko weren't skin-deep. Katara can be as thick-headed and stubborn as she may want to be, but I have no doubts she wouldn't have been able to hate Zuko as much as she used to if she'd seen him helping people, much like she often wants their group to do. But instead, they don't get to see the actual changes and growth... they just get their biggest goals and wishes satisfied, and that's enough to decide Zuko's trustworthy, no matter whatever sketchy behavior he displays in later episodes.

I absolutely appreciate the worldbuilding context we gain for the raids on the Water Tribe through The Southern Raiders, but I don't think this was an organic way to tell the story of how Zuko became friends with the Gaang. If pressed, I'd even say that Zuko's overt desperation to be their friend is OOC, to a degree: if this guy actually knows how dangerous his father's plans are (and he's supposed to :'D), how isn't he focusing on that side of things, when he's always been such a go-getter? It's not like he grew out of this sort of ends-justify-the-means behavior, seeing as he's absolutely obsessed with stopping his father ASAP, by any means possible, in the finale, when there was no such urgency to be found ever since he joined the Gaang. How isn't he more worried about stopping Ozai than about becoming best friends with the Gaang? Immediately sharing everything he's learned about Ozai's intentions of destroying the whole world might not make them friends instantaneously, but it would certainly get someone like Sokka to take his information seriously and immediately begin strategizing how to counter Ozai's plans. Instead, Zuko spent all those weeks, over a month, even, teaching Aang firebending, going on field trips and hanging out with his new friends in Ember Island. Once you have all the cards on deck and you actually look at all of them at once, doesn't it feel like there were so many more ways to achieve what the show was going for, far more effective ways than through the "let's be friends with Zuko" arc?

Ultimately, there's very little display of growth, in my opinion, in this small arc, on Zuko's side, despite the most obvious and reasonable way to earn the trust of the Gaang would be by outright showing them how much he's grown. I won't deny I appreciate that the writers respected his personality and didn't just warp him into the perfect good softboi the way the fandom apparently interprets him, but even if Zuko was going to be cranky and speak one-liners like "I'm never happy", it wasn't impossible to write better situations for him to connect with the Gaang's members and gain their trust. Even if the writers were set on having these episodes happen exactly as they did, they absolutely could have been written in a much better way, to create an explicit and direct contrast between Zuko's early behavior and the new Zuko's behavior when it comes to things that matter (most the parallels I've seen the fandom drawing are things like "oh look he hated tea before but now he brews it for his friends! So much growth!"... would've been nice to see the growth when it came to a lot of other things, too, if the growth really was there? Am I rite...?).

I may just be influenced by other redemption arcs that focus mainly on characters having common goals and working together to achieve them, then becoming friends in the process... but I really don't see how Zuko's character benefited from these episodes. Yes, bridges were built... but they absolutely could have been built in a more organic way that didn't make people like myself (and a few others) question if Zuko had learned or grown at all, considering the way he behaves isn't all that distant from the Zuko we've seen and known throughout the rest of the show. And the fact that he really seems to have learned nothing in The Southern Raiders once you reach the show's finale... you're basically asked to take for granted Zuko did learn a lot of lessons because he says he did, to assume he's going to put them into practice sometime in the future despite he has chances to do it during the show itself but never does, simply because they drop the ball upon every opportunity to show how much he's changed.

I really don't blame his character at all, when it comes to these shortcomings... it's seriously, genuinely, a problem with the writing department. Take a look through the fandom and you'll see thousands of people who claim Zuko's character arc is the most touching, complex and beautiful writing they ever have seen... and why? Because we're in the face of tell-don't-show :'D most people's perception of Zuko's character are based not so much on HOW Zuko displays his growth, it's strongly based on him stating he made progress, even if there's too many instances where the growth simply seems to have fallen to the wayside or gone forgotten for the sake of a plotline or another. Zuko absolutely could have been written far better than this, he could absolutely have the redemption arc his fans are sure he does have, but for me... there's way too many gaps in logic, too many missed opportunities, to truly think his growth was as extraordinary as a lot of people are hung up on saying it was.