#and now this one is two separate shows!! i can go to one and not the other!!
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I like your explanations of our morally imperfect existence, accepting the need for help or a savior, that Christianity is also a mindful and onerous process, not a side-thought with no burden, that being raised Christian and being Christian are two entirely different things, and the personal relationship with God. I would add, Christian faith is faith in the ultimate goodness and victory, Hope unending, despite the world, despite everything, because of Him.
Everything in this universe is transactional, except God's love, which merely has to be understood, and accepted. God is perfect and needs nothing - he made us because he wants us, because he loves us, because he chooses us.
A "Christian declaring himself to be a Jew" is a schismatic and heretical form of the religion, very atypical, a Messianic Jew, and should not be used to misrepresent Christians in general.
Catechism leading up to confirmation, in many Christian denominations adult confirmation, is also a process of learning, reflection and commitment, although it is not "conversion" itself, it is part of the road towards being a full member of the Church and living in the faith, and it is for example the way i converted / re-connected.
I however, perhaps influenced by having being an atheist until the time of my actual conversion (despite having being raised Christian), have never come to actually believe in punitivistic Hellfire doctrines.
I can get the doctrinal view of the existence of a state of self-imposed separation from divinity, and of the unredeemed, but I believe two fundamental things that modulate how I interpret that: (1) there are kind and good people who are not Christian, (2) Christ helps us willingly and enthusiastically by us accepting his moral message, which is time-sensitive worldly kindness and ultimate goodness, and rejection of cruelty and tyranny when it matters, which is now.
I really don't believe that atheists, Jews, muslims or other 'pagans' are "punished" simply for not professing Christianity, the mere idea is unchristlike. Communication and truth go deeper than that. Christ, who is the Logos, emphasized content and criticized form so many times it can't be a coincidence.
I also don't conflate unredeemed and unredeemable. I think only God knows what the "restoration of all things" is and that attempts by us to see who is in eternal exclusion are meaningless, because we are partial and our view is partial so long as we are here- as Christians I believe we should, for example, reject the death penalty to be truly pro-life, and also reject "capital punishments" of the soul in our utterances of who is condemned, lest we incur in sin, because if we pronounce a soul condemned to hell, and we are wrong, what does that entail for our soul? I believe we should strive for healing, reconciliation and restorative justice on this Earth, for literally everyone. No one harms who has no god-given unmet need and is at ease, no one kills without halving their humanity. There is no other sound view of universal human dignity, to me. You can't dignify through disdain nor exclusion.
On proselytism, my views are not precisely typical or orthodox. I believe there are many ways to evangelize. I personally don't have an individual disposition towards trying to make others hold my beliefs. On the contrary, my tendency is towards compatibilization unless proven wrong. So as for evangelizing, I think there are good ways and bad ways to do it, and I think the Church has sometimes done it poorly, organizations within it often do great work however and I appreciate it, and have been part of some.
As for my personal life, I believe in doing good and in sharing knowledge as the main forms of 'showing not telling' my moral worldview. I feel more like non-proselytes in that regard, because I know I can influence people in a positive way despite them not coming to share my worldview - and that I can learn from the Other and genuinely listen, even if they aren't Christian, without needing to be insecure that it will challenge or oppose my faith.
At the end of the day, these are just my interpretations, and I've shared them with my spiritual father; there is room for discussion and differing views on punitivism and proselytism, but I remain a full member of the Roman Catholic Church and I respect my fellow Christians and those who are not because I believe highlighting the human dignity of everybody, in our work and in our words, is the most christlike thing we can do.
My favorite, and I mean FAVORITE teaching of Judaism is that proselytizing is wrong. It’s the one Christians have the hardest time understanding. That even though Judaism is an incredible part of my life, that it’s an incredible community to be apart of, that I could not care less about wether or not they choose to become apart of it. That conversion is possible, and converts are a welcome part of our community and no less Jewish than anyone else, but at the same time we do not seek out people to convert. In addition, conversion is a very serious decision, and the conversion process is lengthy and difficult.
It’s because while I love being Jewish, and I love my community, I do not think that Jewishness is required to live a happy and productive life. I know that it is not right for everyone. I know that for most, the conversion process is not something they view as worth the time and effort. And that is okay. No one HAS to be Jewish. No one should EVER be coerced, manipulated, or forced into conversion.
If someone chooses to convert, it is because THAT PERSON wanted to. They saw something of value in the teachings and community. I think that means so much more than “convert or you’re going to burn for eternity because you are a bad person.”
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The Poison Fruit Ripens
#defendingtheending here we go
First of all mega super ultra spoilers for the ending teaser that Steam says like… 6% ? Of players have seen? So you’ve been warned. No cuts baby, it’s Miyazaki style
Okay, so it’s the Executors, and they’re probably coming across the sea in the next game (if EA doesn’t nuke BW), from what I can gather. I mean, this is fine from a lore perspective. All we knew about those people before is that 1) they are mysterious 2) they are from over there, across the ocean
And now they’re maybe connected to the revealed Qunari lore, which I am ! So excited to have! We already knew that the Qunari fled across the ocean for unspecified reasons, and that going back there was Not A Thing. But now we know that they left because of the (probably metaphorical?) Devouring Storm, which could be connected to the Executors. What are the odds that there are two separate Huge Bad Things Over There that both want to destroy Thedas? Probably is just one big thing— also the title Executor implies they are doing the bidding of someone else, so whatever the Qunari were talking about could be it. (They also talked about being agents of someone else’s will in the Inquisition War Table quest).
So the cinematic shows a bunch of our prominent villains from the previous games being influenced in some way by the Executors. Which I think people are upset about, but I think it’s fine because:
- They did not really specify the manner of influence. I would be annoyed if they retconned Loghain’s decision to leave Cailan on the battlefield because it makes him interesting, but they didn’t say that. They just said they influenced his decisions. They could have done that by stoking his paranoia about Orlais, or by planting Arl Howe to influence him after the battle. He did a lot of OOC stuff while he was King Regent, and this could be a chance to explain what didn’t make sense for his previously established character and was just put in there to make him seem Very Evil.
- They also were around some people doing a blood magic ritual… there weren’t enough of them to be the Magisters, technically, but that is usually what it looks like when we see them in DA art so I’m going to assume that’s them for now. I mean that’s wild if that’s what it is bc that was such a long time ago? Thee guys have really been playing the long game I guess
- The other person they directly influenced seems to be Bartrand, which is really easy because who the fuck gave him that damn map? We NEVER found out who pointed Bartrand to the Thaig! Someone did it, and they probably did it on purpose! It may as well be these guys
- the rest of the villains don’t get guys whispering to them, so I have to assume they mean to imply that they just set up the circumstances that would lead to these people gaining power. I mean someone sent the Carta to the Vimmark mountains, right? And there was like some weird demon there, too.
-So basically they’re just implying that these people have been manipulating events to make sure that shit in Thedas is hitting the fan all at once, which does kind of explain the frankly improbable number of world-ending events that have happened during the Dragon Age. I mean, three Blights, two Magisters, two Evanuris, Antaam invasion, major mage rebellion, Templar schism, and the death of the Southern Divine? It’s only been like 50 years!!! Before the Dragon Age there had only been four Blights since the Ancient Age! Shit does not normally happen this fast in Thedas
I think the phrase itself is pretty direct (also giving Southern Reach vibes). All this chaos they helped sew is reaching its culmination, and now they’re getting ready to cash in the chips. They’re coming to Thedas at the moment that all the great powers are at their weakest, when there’s basically no one to oppose them. Tevinter? Fucked. Qunari? No military anymore. Antiva? Haha! lol, even. Fereldan? Basically gone. Orlais? In shambles. Free Marches? Decimated. Anderfels? There’s like 100 Wardens left in a swamp. Nevarra? I actually don’t know, maybe the lichlords can do something. Maybe Rivain could field some token resistance if they didn’t get hit by the Antaam too badly, but that’s kind of it IMO. This is THE time to come in and conquer(?) the land, or whatever they’re trying to do. Kill everybody?? Turn them into Darkspawn? Who knows!
Some speculation about what could be done to repel invasion:
- shit ton of blood magic
- fix titans, wake them up??? But idk if they’d be into it
- adaari, but idk if there are that many
- people with dragon blood, like the Theirins, are maybe super special and can do things?
- pirates, baby!!! Woooooo!
- I guess Mythal could know something? She can see the future a bit
- dragon army! Dragon army!!
#dragon age#datv spoilers#veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard
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inner child pac reading
🦀 pile one,,
I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?
it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.
🐸 pile two,,
It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.
holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.
🐕 pile three,,
I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.
this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.
#chocoqtelle#tarot#pac reading#free tarot#pick a card#pac tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick an image reading#tarot pac#inner child#nostalgia#childhood#free tarot reading#pick a card reading#pickacard#pick a photo#pick a card readings#pick a card tarot reading#pick a pile reading#pick an image#tarot pick a card#pac#love tarot reading#love pac#love tarot free#love tarot#tarot cards#witchblr
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It has been a bit over a month since the first time I watched Dead Boy Detectives and I now have watched it from start to finish four times. Oops. I don't know how that happened—I certainly wasn't prepared for this level of love for a series.
Since I haven't really been in any fandoms or tumblr in, like... ten years or whatever, I wanted to write about why I fell in love with Dead Boy Detectives when I saw the series for the first time. I don't know if anyone's interested in reading a long-ish post, but in case you are, buckle up because this is going to be pure love and positivity from start to finish. It's mainly about Edwin and Charles, though.
I started watching the show without any background information and never having seen the Sandman either. I rotate streaming services and it was Netflix's turn. I read queer fiction quite a lot and watch queer movies and series as a hobby, and remembered someone mentioning Dead Boy Detectives.
The beginning on the series was intriguing enough already, but it was during this scene that I knew I was going to watch the entire thing:
This leads me to the reason I love the series so much: the carrying force of the story is the love Edwin and Charles have for each other, be it platonic or romantic. I'm a sucker for themes like found family and being loved as your authentic self because that's something I crave. I have always been more or less lonely because of social anxiety and struggling with social situations. Perhaps that's why stories containing those themes have such a profound effect on me each time.
Of course, the way the series combines elements of horror and comedy with heartwarming and wholesome sweetness is delightfully refreshing in itself. Dead Boy Detectives kept me glued to the screen so that I finished it in a day the first time I watched it. However, the characters are what makes the show so brilliant. I think the cast in general is phenomenal, but it's the love between Edwin and Charles that I felt most while watching.
This obviously is where I have to praise George Rexstrew and Jayden Revri for their acting. I think it's largely thanks to them that I love Edwin and Charles so much. Their characters' chemistry and the fond way Edwin and Charles interact with each other in the series is something I felt viscerally right from the beginning. It's obviously ingrained in the overall plot, but the love can also be felt in the smallest gestures. How many shows do you have where your favorite character dying is one of your favorite moments in the series because it's so sweet? (I'm sure you can deduce my favorite character from this...)
Personally, I also think that George Rexstrew and Jayden Revri's acting is particularly spellbinding during the moments their characters break down and show raw emotion. In an odd way the characters' suffering is what makes episodes like The Case of the Devlin House and The Case of the Very Long Stairway so brilliant. The characters' emotions during their most vulnerable moments are so tangible.
I know there has been talk about how season two would look like if the series was revived, and honestly, I think there's one crucial thing that should be kept as it is or the entire thing would be ruined: the carrying force of the show being that Edwin and Charles are willing to do anything to not to get separated.
I can't see any universe where someone becomes more important to the two main characters than what they're to each other. Charles says that Edwin is the only person he'd go to Hell for. We know how Edwin feels. The love is there already. If either of them had a long-lasting romance with someone else, the love interest would get two with the price of one. Equally important? Well—possibly. Love isn't finite. More important? Never.
I'd like to see Edwin and Charles get together, though. They're like an old married couple already and I can't imagine them being together with anyone else in the long run. At least the first season left things open enough for interpretation, with the cancellation and all.
Last but not least, it's a bit crazy that I only saw the show for the first time a bit over a month ago and was ready to splurge on a cameo. It was my birthday during the gameoden week and I got a birthday message! It was very sweet and has cheered me up ever since. I'm not sharing it here because I feel it's a bit personal with my birthday and all, but I loved it.
In case you ended up reading all this, thanks for reading my love letter for the show and the characters and the actors!
#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#george rexstrew#jayden revri#this series has me in a chokehold
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the way jayvik fans are ignoring the entire plot of the show to raise up their ship is so…i thought tumblr was being dramatic when they said yaoi shippers will just ignore any women and plot just to prop up their own desires.
like let’s not be deluded a lot of people emphasized caitvi a little too much—to the point they ignored the story—but that was nothing compared to this. like, i get it, they’re two hotties with a beautiful, complex narrative surrounding them and tying them to their world and each other. but if a romantic or sexual relationship was a part of that, there’s no way in helllll fortiche or the writers would’ve maintained their status as “just” best friends and brothers. (which also ignores how deep and beautiful a bond between best friends, siblings, partners can be)
i know some people might not remember it but i remember in 2021 there was a slight whisper from some people, especially on reddit, who were annoyed that the show focused so much on women’s relationships (sisters, girlfriends, daughters) and not men’s; obviously these people missed the point in an entirely different direction but they’re on the same starting track as the jayvik romance phenomenon. jayce and viktor are as much vander and silco as they are themselves. they are vi and jinx. they are brothers by bond, not by blood (though eventually they are by the blood they spill). they are the third telling of this all important story between siblings, the third outcome. vander and silco could not handle what they wrought and eventually killed each other. vi and jinx could not handle what they had done and had to separate themselves completely lest they be stuck in a constant drowning battle. jayce and viktor couldn’t fix what they had done and thus had to work together to destroy it, as they had to cause it. notably: these latter two outcomes reflect the overall trajectory of the show. vander and silco (united by ideals) could not forgive themselves or each other, even for their goal to save the world. jinx and vi (united by blood) and jayce and viktor (united by discovery) learned from themselves, from each other, that they have to forgive in order to do what’s ultimately needed.
also—something i’ve seen NOBODY mention is Skye. Skye is honestly so important to viktor’s arc and nobody seems to remember or care. she has been accused of being one of arcane’s few flaws, being a victim of “fridging.” in some ways, this is absolutely true. she was just a random female character introduced to make viktor feel bad—but that’s kind of the point. viktor’s newfound hatred (end of s1) of the hex core comes because he realizes that his arrogance and desperation have lead him to kill someone he never got to know on a deeper level (indicated by him learning more about her from her diagrams than he has the whole time). he is furious that he let that happen, that it took an innocent life to be lost forever just to spur him to realize the error of his ways. it why he wanted to be left to die naturally. her inclusion in the brief time where viktor was “ascended” but not yet gloriously evolved, was some of the points at which viktor seemed happiest. we didn’t get to see much of them—which is sad—but their constant interactions and her looming presence whenever he was shown in his astral state confirmed how much he regrets losing her. this does NOT mean they are a romantic item, though to some it may, but it does mean that viktor’s care and character growth/change for others is being unfairly sidestepped in favor of a ship. she even goes so far to say that “no, you won’t” when he says he’ll miss their talks—implying either that she was the first to acknowledge that he was not going to be the viktor she knew, or that she knew that the same arrogance in him now was in him when she was alive (and that he cared about nothing but himself).
this is not even to mention that this also completely sidelined Mel, who does eventually move on due to reasons outside either her or jayce’s control, was still his lover and confidant for a long time. her arc informs his as does he, hers. her growth into her powers while he shies away from unknown magic is a reflection of their season 1 selves, where jayce embraces his newfound inventiveness and influence while she fears her what she knows her mother will do. mel being routinely ignored is due in no small part, im sure, by misogyny and racism—but she is just as much a main character as they are (game notwithstanding).
now i’m not saying this to be a jayvik hater. myself? i love caitvi, probably more than i should have above base appreciation of their worth to the story and beautiful writing, so i get it. this doesn’t mean i think jayvik is bad inherently—but lofting it above all else is annoying. the romances of arcane are sooo beautiful and complex but they’re only a part of what the story is trying to tell you, so a manufactured relationship that supersedes all is counterintuitive.
#like of course. it’s a twink and a hunk and they’re science nerds. of course that’s a good ship#but besides all of that shit i just said up there ^#also did not feel the fucking sparkkk. i mean we all knew ekko and jinx had something in s1 and that wasn’t confirmed for 3 years#because arcane is NOT subtle. which is why i think they would’ve made a romantic jayvik wayyyyy clearer and thematically relevant#also not really relevant but as a practicing researcher it is funny to see people not understand the bond between scientific partners#arcane#arcane s2 spoilers#skye arcane#viktor#jayce
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"Slow dance"
- I can teach you to dance, Jona.- And they all stared at Damian.
- Really?- The girl asked surprised.
- Yes, right now if you wish.- He raised a fist to his mouth.- I have already arranged with the orchestra so that they play a slow and simple song to dance to.-
- Huh?- And she blushed up to her ears.- Right now?- Seeing her teammate nod, she swallowed a little before answering.- Su-sure.-
Damian, like a true gentleman, extended his arm as an invitation for her to accompany him, which little Jonatha did, feeling all eyes on them.
- Ignore them.- The 13 years old boy told her in a low voice.- Just look at my face and try to follow my movements.-
Hold me, hold me.
Never let me go
until you've told me,
told me,
what I want to know
and then just hold me, hold me.
Make me tell you I'm in love with you.
Almost without thinking, Supergirl followed Robin's directions, both vocal and physical, stepping on him a few times, earning the other's frowns, who said nothing and continued to direct her onto the dance floor, where other couples had joined them.
-The two look so adorable.-
- Gross.-
- Jason! Tim!-
Already when he felt that Jona had managed to master the famous "1-2-3", Damian released the girl's hands to put them on his shoulders, while he adjusted his hands above her waist, to avoid touching anything that he shouldn't.
- Dami!- Jona's cheeks turned red like tiny little strawberries at the other boy's action.- What are you doing?-
- It's the next part of the slow dance.- He assured her.- Don't say anything and keep dancing.-
- Okay, okay.- And instinctively she put her head on his shoulder.- Thank you, Damian.-
- You don't have to, I offered to help you learn.-
- Anyway, thanks.- Smiling, she continued to scoot to the tune, her head still on Damian's shoulder.
- I think I should separate them, Lois.- Clark was undecided whether to intervene or sit watching his eldest daughter dance intimately with Batman's son.
- Leave them, Smallville.- His wife scolded him, amused to see him jealous.- They're just dancing, it's not like they're doing something bad.-
- But, but... Jona.-
- Shut up and leave them alone. Go get me something to drink.- She ordered.- She's growing up.-
- Okay.- He let out a deep sigh.
He didn't like to see that his girl would soon stop being one to become a young lady. The horror. So, like any self-respecting father, he set himself the goal of taking care of his little girl not only from villains, but also from the evil intentions of other boys, especially Damian Wayne.
(Kiss me) Kiss me, (Kiss me) kiss me. When you do, I'll know that you will miss me. (Miss me) Miss me. (Miss me) If we ever say "Adieu" So kiss me, kiss me. (Ah) Make me tell you I'm in love with you. (Hold me, thrill me) Never, never, never let me go. (Hold me, thrill me) Never, never, never let me go. (Hold me, thrill me) Never, never, never let me go.
- For the next gala, Master Bruce, you should talk to the boys first, before tonight's show is repeated again.- Alfred advised him as he passed by him.
- Thanks for the advice, Alfred. I'll take it into consideration.- Why were his children always giving him headaches?
- Much appreciated of me, sir. Now, how do you intend to handle the situation with Mr. Clark?-
And for any answer, he slapped himself on the face.
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In this chapter, I used the female version of the name "Jonathan", just to make it clear. And yes, it is "Jonatha"
To give you an idea of what's going on, Damian made and lost a bet against Jason, Tim and Dick, so at the next gala organized by the Wayne's, He had to ask three people to dance, however, they allowed him to choose the songs and the people he would dance with.
Jonatha was not part of these three people.
#jondami#damian wayne#dick grayson#fanfiction#jason todd#tim drake#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#humor#jonathan samuel kent#damijon#super sons#jon kent#dance#Song: Hold me#thrill me#kiss me#clark kent#superman and lois#Female Jon Kent
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farmhouse pt9
Cw: swearing, father daughter verbal and physical fight (not abuse)
“Wow ya didn’t strike me as an artist” You hum taking a bite of the sandwich as you sit across from Johnny. The Cafe is the perfect amount of quiet and busy so it’s not too awkward but also you can hear your thoughts.
“I wouldn’t say I’m an artist lass, i just like drawin’” Johnny chuckles sipping his coffee. His sentence makes you scoff because the pictures of his drawings that he showed you are beautiful, stunning even. “Bullshit mate ya drawins’ are amazin” You gleem. Johnny grins at you, he’s not really listening to you more admiring your beauty and he can’t lie if he said he wasn’t hard as a rock right now. You’re absolutely stunning with your rough features that you no doubt got from your father. Those cold commanding eyes that soften when you’re around your loved ones it’s something so captivating about them.
Your heart sinks when you hear the faintest sound of the all too familiar voice of Simon. Who is supposed to be keeping your father busy. Holy shit are they coming closer?
“Johnny…” You hum trying not to panic “did you also hear Simon? Or was that just me?” You say your rough cockney voice going up a few octaves. Johnny and you freeze when you both hear your father and Simon enter the coffee shop thankfully you two are seated at the back. “Fuck” Johnny whispers. You manage not to panic as you hope they won’t spot you.
Well your prayers and hopes weren’t answered because unfortunately your father turns around and looks up making direct eye contact with Johnny. His eyes harden when he recognises that all to familiar hair of yours and that little squeak you make. Price slowly approaches the table “Johnny please don’t tell me you are on a date with my daughter” Price says holding in all his anger because he’s out in public. “Ahhh….errr…” is all Johnny can get out before you whip your head around. “Piss off” you hiss.
“I told you two to stay away from each other, especially you John” Price growls as he stands infront of you and Johnny on your gravel driveway outside your house.
“And I told you we are adults” You growl back. Simon and Johnny would be lying if they said you both were fucking scary right now. “He’s my soldier who is no good for you” price says pursing his lips. “I don’t care” you Growl balling your fists and stepping closer. “You’re a fuckin bad man John you can’t even follow simple instructions” Your father growls at Johnny as he tries to move towards your beloved Johnny you side step blocking him. “Uh ah, I’m the problem here you ain’t focusing on him” You hiss your father’s fists ball up too. Once again you are both toe to toe snarling and growling.
“I can go on dates with Johnny if I want. I ain’t a little girl for fucks sake” You snarl “I ain’t even fuckin him, we shared a bed ONE time when we were shitfaced” that makes your dad even angrier. It usually wouldn’t but you and Price have the same temper… extremely short and explosive. You both inch impossibly closer to each other. “You’re fuckin disobedient John, you’ve crossed a line now” Price hisses towards Soap. That’s what blew you over the edge you were the first to swing taking a quick step back before swinging at him and of course your dad swings back hitting you in the face. This happens about two swings more before Simon and Johnny pull you off each other. “Wot the fuck?” Simon yells as he holds back Price and Johnny holds back you. Your father and you are both now sporting bloody noses and a split lip on your end and a nice incoming black eye on his end.
You both are dragged inside into separate rooms to ice your wounds. “What the actual fuck was that?” Soap asks as he looks at you. You shrug putting the ice to your nose. “Ain’t the first time, Prices aren’t known for a great temper”.
“Yer can’t go fightin’ yer own dad Bonnie” Soap sighs kissing your forehead. “He had it coming that bitch”
[ I feel like this wasn’t long enough but oh well 🤷♀️]
Taglist:
@tabbslouuformer
@thepowers-kat-be
@amberpanda99
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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On one hand, I feel horribly guilty for having a couple weekends where I've committed to absolutely nothing to the point of backing out of volunteering at a local dog show.
On the other hand, I have dog sport events literally every weekend and practice or class at least twice a week throughout the entirety of October and November. I think I get a free pass for a couple weekends.
#and this doesn't even count my work disc dog events#those start again next week#I have two disc dog events and two obedience trials and the three separate mondioring seminars#on top of work disc dog events and AKC Trick Dog classes at multiple levels I'll be hosting and an extracurricular play skills class#that will make my Sundays at 12 hour work day even if it's a very rewarding one with Limited Basic obedience work#I go through Vicious Cycles of doing as much as physically possible during busy season and then crashing during the dead seasons#but I need to support my hobby jobby job and my partners Hobby jobby job as much as I can to keep this sustainable#and 10 is in his Peak trialing time before he starts losing Mobility#and Valkyrie is in her Peak training time to build her up as a multi-sport dog#so here we go#and Mr tumnus gets to be a little bit of a living plush animal for a while since I can't afford to show a third animal right now#I honestly think he would do great showing and we would both have fun#but I can keep him in good condition and get out there again in a year or two when I can afford a second ferret and yet another sport#the life of Ron#maybe if a manic enough I won't notice that my birthday is coming up again#and I'll get enough done before I have to have surgery that I won't be going insane through recovery
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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little floof has the best possible time at con, proceeds to spend the next month crying about it
#personal#not trying to be dramatic but i have actually cried a little two separate times tonight because i'm just so. happy. 😭#these past three-and-a-bit days have been packed to the brim with so much joy and excitement there was nowhere else for it to go#i feel so warm and just /happy/#i haven’t felt this much like myself in months and months i adore con#it just feels a little like home every year#it feels safe and full of joy and laughter and i can just dress up and be goofy with my friends#and getting to see my favorite guests brings me such infinite amounts of happiness#and all the interactions i have with them and how they REMEMBER ME and have started CALLING MY NAME IN THE HALLS TO SAY HI fjeiwoaf#and skip beat asking me if i’m coming to their next show every time they finish one#and shun giving me Super Top Secret Information today that they’d be performing in the traditional music concert & asking if i’ll be there#and them waving and smiling when they see me#jigoroh being so cute and going 'HI SARAH HI SARAH' and going for a high five when i went up to ask for a picture after their panel#and a bunch of them reposting my stories / posts on ig with the SWEETEST little thank you notes thanking me for coming#and them all telling me ‘see you next year!!’#anyway i cannot possibly explain it in words but this con honestly means so much to me and i love it so so much#and i’m just. right now. so happy. that there’s nowhere else for the joy to go but to leak out of my eyeballs
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i know its a depressive episode and not a bad mood/low spoons fault when i come home, think of listening to tma and then immediately think "i would rather be in eyepocalypse than go to work tomorrow"
#me yapping#tma#vent post#no joke i have no idea what broke me but i literally cried three separate times today from stress#and usually i can ask my boss or manager to deal with ehatever is hindering my process but this time its more like. just having a lot#and also two higher ups being absolute idiots but i already asked and no one did anything#i mean at this point maybe im the idiot#going to work when i got close with my colleagues is kinda THE eyepocalypse sometimes because i dont wanna be perceieved#because now they pay too much attentioj to me AND i cant show that im upset#honestly i would love it if they would just tell me im stupid and cant fo shit#at least i wouldnt worry about them secretelt thinking that and tolerating it for the sake of the team#look im being jon sims again...#nedt time i appear here i will say they want me dead and start stalking them lmao
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Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.
I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.
#But who would I be if I had not watched supernatural?#I wouldn't be on tumblr for one#not in the same way that I am#Perhaps I would like different shows because the part of Supernatural that still appeals to me now is the queerbaiting#The blatant queerbaiting#the fact that they never get together#the weird way that excessive misogyny creates homoerotic subtext#that's what captures my interest as a viewer#which is problematic or whatever idk i think the show would have been less interesting as a romance#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character#and part of his character when read as a suppression of homosexuality simply would not work if the show didn't queerbait#also fun headcanons i hold for characters (like trans/bi dean) are separate from how i would actually analyse the actions of dean#i don't think dean is trans i don't think his character reflects a trans narrative#but i make him trans in my fanfic because i can#and i enjoy exploring that potential interpretation of his character even if i don't agree with it necessarily#i'm better at explaining this in person but I watch hannibal and Supernatural over shows with actual representation in them#because it's frequently a more interesting dynamic as someone who doesn't actually enjoy watching romance#this is not to say i don't watch things with queer characters in them and that I don't love to see representation#i nearly cried when the doctor and rogue kissed#and i don't cry for tv shows#i get incredibly excited and happy to see queer representation in anything at all even if i'm never going to watch it#i'm so so happy that shows like heart stopper exist and are popular and mainstream#that's fucking awesome!#but i'm not gonna watch a queer romance for the same reason i'm not gonna watch a straight romance#it's boring once they get together#and i do want to mention that in my head there is a distinct difference between a romance and characters who are together#like hiccup and astrid isn't a romance they are two characters that get together in a story about friendship and standing up for yourself#and others and also it's about fucking dragons put whatever you want in there i will watch it if it's about dragons.#but stoic and valka is a romance BUT THEY DON"T END UP TOGETHER#spn
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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ok i just need to write down these whack 1d dreams i’ve had the last couple days
#so two nights ago it was that zayn had a reality dating show and i was ON IT#and the whole time i was like 😭 i’m too gay for this can i leave pls#it was in this place that was both super tropical but also a desert#and zayn INSISTED we keep going on these long ass walks thru the sand i was just like bro can we go back#and he got mad at me when i said i needed to go take a walk to decompress after this story about his ex that he told me#it was so vivid and surreal#but then the dream i just woke up from i was part of 1d in like 2013 era???#and it was sooo busy so many interviews and a couple fan meeting things#and i was like damn this is exhausting#but also got to see these beaauuutiful places#like one of our hotels was suspended directly over this crystal blue water that had orca swimming thru it and we swam w the orca#and both harry and louis separately plotted w me to pull pranks on each other#harry was also like?? psychic?? like he could send images into everyone’s heads but he only did it w nice things lol#and then randomly at the end he came to work w my at this body jewelry company i used to work for#but like he was still him and on our application form to work there we had to disclose our income for some reason#and on his he was like i’m not telling u this 😐 don’t push it#like w the emoji too fhdhskeldk#but i’m out here like why am i dreaming of these guys even more when i’m taking a break from them#like i still listen to their music ofc but i don’t have the energy to participate in the fandom rn#it’s like they know and they’re like#u thought u could forget about us!!!!! syke bitch we’re haunting ur dreams now <3#but whatever i’ll take this over the other vivid dreams i’ve been having lately#anyway#rowyn rambles
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People really need to stop inviting themselves over to my dorm and then just not leaving like bro I have stuff to do and it’s weird if you’re gonna just sit on the spare bed for literally five fucking hours
#art catastrophe#shit post#okay let me explain#i have this friend who has now made a habit of showing up and inviting himself into my room#my roommate is probably not fond of this and neither am I cause it’s been going on for three weeks#but niether of us can say no to him cause we’re both cursed to be people pleasers#one time I was in a really bad mood and wanted to take a nap to cure my anger and I thought surely he would leave if I went to bed#but I woke up two hours later and there he was????#he’s not friends with my roommate btw so it was probably weird for her but it was especially weird for me cause he like…. stayed????#while I was sleeping????#i dragged him to a bookshop cause that’s what I wanted to do today and he complained the entire time and wanted to go back to my room#but it was still a nice walk and we hung out so I was like#the excursion is over we will go out separate ways now#he went back to my room#and I was like okay bro well I’m not talking to ya cause I’ve got shit to read#and I hoped he’d get bored and leave but it’s been three hours now#and he’s still here#so in total it’s been five hours today and I’m like trying to come up with excuses to get him out of here#like you’re my friend but bro pls
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