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justmystyles · 2 years ago

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hi so i have a request!! i’m going thru a bit of a rough time lately, and i was wondering if you could do a fic where reader is scared she’s going to relapse and harry comes home and helps her emotionally a lil bit? thank you so much, i’m so so so so sorry if this is too much

Road to Recovery

read my other work here!

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

*i say it's a plus size reader, but it is not something that i focus on explicitly in my fics, because your size should not define you. it will only come up if it comes into the story organically.*

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of eating disorders and bullying.

summary: after reading some negative comments about yourself, you nearly spiral back into old habits. you try to keep it from Harry, but he finds out and confronts you about it.

a/n: thank yo so much for reaching out, my friend. i am so sorry that you're going through a rough patch right now. i'm thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. i am here for anything you may need, and i hope that this fic helps bring you come comfort. you didn't specify what kind of relapse, so i took some liberties.

tags: @abby8694 @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

Stepping out of the car now ;)

As soon as you see the text from Harry, you grab the remote and switch on E!, waiting for him to come up on screen.

It was the night of the Grammy awards, and Harry was about to walk the red carpet. The two of you had been seeing each other for a few months, but because of Harry’s desire to keep his personal life to himself, and your discomfort being in the spotlight, you both agreed that you would watch from the hotel, and he would come straight back to you after the show so the two of you could have your own private after-party.

Harry had stopped for a brief interview, you were pretty sure it was only because he knew you were watching, before continuing down the carpet and heading inside. You watched and listened as the interviewer gushed to him about his album, and wished him luck on his nominations. They then cut to the panelist who were raving about the suit he had worn, that you had helped him select.

Once they had moved on, you pulled out your phone and headed to social media to see what the fans were saying. It was great that the talking heads liked it, but you knew that the opinions of his fans were the most important. You scrolled through comments full of praise, loving the suit, the cut, his hair, and just overall thirsting for your boyfriend. Even though you weren’t public with your relationship, it still felt good to know that you had something, or rather someone, that so many other people wanted.

Then, another tweet caught your eye.

See, they’re obviously not together. She would be there.

Even though Harry didn’t speak openly about your relationship, there had been plenty of paparazzi and fan pictures of the two of you out and about, causing the inevitable speculation. You knew for your own sanity you should just move on, but you couldn’t help but click on it, and read some of the replies.

She probably couldn’t find a dress to fit her fat ass.

I told you guys they were just friends. He can do so much better than her!

Before long, you could feel the hot wet sensation of tears streaming down your cheeks. This was why you shouldn’t have looked. While most of Harry’s fans were good people, and practiced what he preached by treating people with kindness, there was a faction that were just plain mean. Maybe it was jealousy that they couldn’t be in your position, maybe it was their own issues and insecurities, maybe it was all of the above. Whatever it was, it hurt. Especially because of your past.

Growing up was a tough time for you, you were the biggest girl in your class, and your peers wouldn’t let you forget it. During the summer break going into your senior year, you decided you wanted to go out of high school with a bang, so you began your weight loss journey. It started out perfectly fine, you joined a gym and watched what you ate, cutting out fast food, and halving your typical portions of sweets.

Things were going well, and you lost quite a bit of weight in the first few months. When you returned to school in the fall, you received compliments from students and teachers alike, telling you how good you looked. The compliments made you feel really good, and encouraged you on your journey.

And then you hit your plateau.

It’s a common occurrence when someone starts changing their activity and eating habits. The weight comes off easily at first, your body is adjusting to major changes. The increased activity changes your metabolism and calories burn off easier. However, as your body acclimates to your new lifestyle, it slows down the changes. When you noticed the numbers on the scale moving less, if at all, and the compliments dying down, you wanted so badly to get back to that place. You resorted to drastic, and unhealthy changes.

You began by doubling up on your workouts, going to the gym for an hour before school, and then another hour after. Then, you cut back even further on your food; it started by skipping breakfast, telling your parents you would just grab something on the way to school; and then the other meals quickly followed.

You would tell your parents that you were still full from the lunch that you didn’t eat, or that you had gone out to eat with friends after school, but they started to catch on quickly. They began monitoring you and making sure you were eating, and that’s when the binging and purging began. Sure, they could sit there and make sure you cleaned your plate, but they couldn’t follow you around all the time to make sure you kept the food down.

You were able to keep that up for a few weeks, but eventually they caught on, and after an emotional confrontation you agreed to seek treatment. They didn’t want you to miss out on your senior year, so they found you an outpatient facility that was able to work around your schedule. You got set up with a healthy eating plan, which caused a lot of the weight that you had lost to come back. But with the help of some really great doctors, you learned to be okay with that. Okay with you.

Then you started dating one of the biggest stars in the world.

You had told Harry about your past pretty early on into your relationship. He was even more supportive and sweet about it than you expected him to be, and that’s saying a lot. He would make sure you were eating, but not baby you about it. When he would go for a run or workout, he would invite you along, supporting your decision whether or not you joined him. And when you had the conversation about keeping your relationship private, he made sure you understood that it had nothing to do with you, and he was so happy and proud to have you as his girlfriend.

But pictures started getting out, and the internet started speculating and talking about you. Harry and his team were the first to see it, and he knew what kind of damage this could do to you. When he sat you down to talk to you about what was going on, he couldn’t help but break down into tears, blaming himself for everything that they were saying. You comforted him and assured him that it wasn’t his fault. That you had dealt with bullies your whole life, and there wasn’t much damage a few faceless, nameless avatars on a screen could do to you. You had always been really good at pretending to be stronger than you were.

Without thinking, you moved to the phone that was on the end table and called down to the kitchen, ordering an obscene amount of food. None of it healthy. You cried as you waited for it to be delivered, calming down enough to answer the door and accept the food. The bellboy laid everything out on one of the tables for you before accepting your tip and going on his way.

You looked at everything laid out in front of you, cheeseburgers, pizza, french fries, cakes, ice creams, you ordered it all. Sure, you would indulge from time to time, but always responsibly. You hadn’t gorged yourself like this for years.

Your mind was racing, it was like a scene in a movie, there was a devil on one shoulder telling you to just go for it. If all these people were going to comment on you, you might as well give them something to comment about. On the other shoulder, an angel reminding you that you’d been doing so well for so long. That those people on the internet didn’t matter. What you think matters, what Harry thinks matters.

You collapse into a nearby chair, breaking out into sobs. Angry with yourself for folding so easily after being so strong for so long. The angel wins, and you don’t eat any of it. Instead, you decide to clear it all out and hide the evidence before Harry gets back. You don’t like keeping things from him, but you didn’t do it, so he would just get upset and worried over nothing.

*****

A few days later, you and Harry are relaxing in his London home when he excuses himself to take a call from Jeff. When he returned, he had a worried look on his face.

“Everything okay?” You asked.

He took a seat beside you, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure.” He looked at you, his expression serious. “I need to ask you something, and I want an honest answer. You’re not in trouble. I just want to know.”

You furrowed your brow. “Okay.”

“The night of the Grammys, did you order a bunch of room service?”

“Oh,” your voice is quiet as you slouch down. “I uh… yeah, I might have ordered a couple of things.”

“Y/N, Jeff saw the itemized bill. It wasn’t just a couple of things.” He grabbed your hands. “I’m not mad, baby but if something’s going on I want to know so I can help you.”

You let out a shuttered breath before your tears began to fall. Harry immediately wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, letting you cry. He knew this was an important conversation, so he was willing to take as much time as you needed.

Eventually, you had calmed yourself enough to speak. You pulled back, looking down at your hands, which were sitting in your lap. “I didn’t eat it, I had a moment of weakness and almost relapsed, but I couldn’t go through with it.” Your gaze flicked up to Harry’s quickly, and you could see the tears pooling in his eyes.

“Baby, you should have called me. You know I would have been back there in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would have,” you said. “But you were busy, I didn’t want to bother you.”

A pained look flashed in his eyes. “You’re never a bother, you come before anything else. Especially if you’re hurting that much.” He placed his index finger under your chin, lifting your gaze to meet his. “Can I ask what triggered you?”

“I was looking through social media, I wanted to see what everyone was saying about your outfit, and I may have stumbled across a couple of comments about me that weren’t very nice.”

“Oh Y/N,” Harry pulled you close once again, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“No, it’s not.” You say sternly as you pull back. “And that’s why I didn’t tell you. Because I knew you’d blame yourself.” You place one hand on his cheek. “You don’t have any control over other people. And yes, they talk about me because I’m with you, but I’d rather have people talking about me and have you then have nobody talking about me, but also not have you.”

“I understand.” Harry says with a nod. “But if we’re going to work, you can’t keep stuff like this from me. I want to be there for you for everything good and bad. I love you so much Y/N, I would do anything for you.”

“I know.”

“Then let me in, tell me when this stuff is going through your mind and let me be there to help you however I can.” You nod quietly. “Promise?” You nod again. “Words baby, I need your words.”

“I promise.”

He smiled softly and pulled you in for a lingering kiss. “Good. Now what do you want to do? Do you want to talk to someone?”

You stop for a minute, knowing that as hard as you’d been pushing them away, those feelings were still inside of you waiting to bubble up to the surface. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“Okay, then we’re going to find you someone.” He said with determination in his voice. “And I want to talk to them too.” You look at him curiously. “I’m not going to sit in with you all the time, but I would like to sit in for a session or two, just so I can learn how to best support you.”

“Harry… that’s –”

“Is it okay?” He asks cautiously. “I don’t have to if it would make you uncomfortable.”

You silence him by crashing your lips against his. You are so overwhelmed by his love for you, he wants to do whatever he can to help you, you’re his priority. You know that you will likely be fighting this battle for the rest of your life, but it makes it so much more bearable to know that you’re not fighting it alone.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles headcanon #harry styles angst #harry styles comfrot #harry's house #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #harry edward styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

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physalian · 4 months ago

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On Punishing your Characters with SA

***Trigger warning for discussion of SA in fiction***

Because I am still recovering from the bizarre alternate reality I fell into where “SA is hot and if you were a survivor you’d think so too” is at all an acceptable and defensible stance to take, I want to talk about punishing your characters, and the means through which we go about it.

This post is NOT condemning stories that go “we know this is awful, you’re here because it’s awful, we’re all gonna have a good time with it anyway”. Or, your usual Dead Dove.

This is instead critiquing stories (and their authors) who either think:

SA is kinky

SA is just a run of the mill thing that happens in adult fiction, especially fantasy, it’s par for the course

If you’re a fan of either or both and plan to attempt to justify them, you have been warned, turn back now. My tolerance for harassment about this is at an all-time low.

Disclaimer:

I am not hating on BDSM or a character whose kink is feeling helpless and controlled. BDSM is, after all, consensual, and there’s mutual respect involved. Nor am I hating on a character who is attempting to self-medicate in a harmful way and they and the narrative know it.

Keywords being: Consent, mutual respect, and self-awareness

Which is completely lost in stories that either romanticize SA or toss it in there for shits and giggles and cheap drama.

—

In fantasy in particular, rampant SA is kind of ridiculous and getting worse. It may be for “mature audiences” but often the stuff written for kids and families has more “mature storytelling” in that it can show you horrible things without being gratuitously r*pey. Characters suffer other hardships and get the same point across.

And SA is one on the list of many things in fiction that usually isn’t written with the grim reality of a realistic aftermath. Things like broken bones that heal with supernatural speed, head injuries with cherry-picked symptoms, and grief and mourning.

We don’t want to derail the whole narrative to focus on the nitty gritty recovery period of a one-time event that moves characters from A to B. That’s just how fiction works. They absolutely deserve to be written better with proper awareness and understanding, they’re just not what this post is about.

But SA is different, because it’s often treated like this horrible threat, this scandalous thing…while then not being written with the respect and tact it deserves, written like a character merely got tortured, interchangeable with any other kind of suffering but with ~titillating undertones~.

Because, odds are, the average person won’t ever know what it’s like to be tortured, or suffer debilitating injuries from an accident, or have to live with the long-term disabilities of a major head trauma or coma. But far too many of us do know SA intimately, and the flippant way it’s tossed around in fiction will never sit right with me, especially when it’s romanticized and glorified.

So in short, I’d like authors who toss it on like a garnish to pause and think: Are you prepared to write the consequences of the situations you throw your characters into? If not, then write something else.

There is of course many levels to including SA in fiction, and its importance in the story should be proportional to the effect it has on a character’s arc and how much time is spent discussing with it and dealing with it, as with any element of backstory.

Having it be a distant memory in a side character’s backstory as just A Thing that happened to them years ago should demand, bare minimum, a cracking of that character’s worldview. Otherwise, why is it here? What purpose does it serve other than to be tragic, and why is it SA over straight-up torture or any other tragedy?

If it’s just another incident and this character grew up with or is surrounded by those who take advantage of them (first of all, writer beware, that is a daunting story to tackle) the trauma of this individual event might be insignificant to them in the grand scheme of things, but it should still matter to them and how they see themselves and how they interact with those around them. Otherwise, why is it here? What purpose does it serve other than to be tragic, and why is it SA over straight-up torture or any other tragedy?

And if you’re setting up a character’s first encounter with SA, however horrific it is, or it’s this encounter with this character that makes it unique, and it’s going to be a big moment for them and the story, it had better fucking matter to them once it’s over. Otherwise, why is it here? What purpose does it serve other than to be tragic, and why is it SA over straight-up torture or any other tragedy?

It's a whole different world if this is a Stockholm syndrome story, where it is very, very clear that this relationship is fucked-up, but the character has no idea and they themselves romanticize and glorify their abuser—in those stories, it is understood that they’re an unreliable narrator and that their thoughts on what’s happening do not align with the author’s. (Most of the time. People unironically and uncritically love and want to have relationships like Harley Quinn and the Joker, without having any experience on what it’s actually like, but most of the time the comic writer tries to make it clear that she’s a victim. Most of the time).

—

I have two characters in two different WIPs who suffer this, more than once. A handles it a lot better than B. More time has passed and the perpetrator for A was a clear cut villain, while B's was someone they trusted. Neither spends every waking moment defining themselves by their abuser, but the impact of what happened to them shows up in multifaceted ways.

A is self-conscious about their body, as it still bears marks from that encounter. Some intimate things they used to enjoy or would have enjoyed are now off-limits. Certain conversation topics are triggering. And because everybody knows, they have a permanent reputation they can never escape, hanging over them even when nobody mentions it. They have mostly healed emotionally and have healthy romantic relationships, but it’s not something they’re ever going to forget.

B blames themselves and any chance at physical intimacy is now lost to them, though they were already asexual to begin with. They’ve told no one and anyone who would guess or might know, they’ve lied to, to protect their abuser. The SA happened among other hellish circumstances, when they have nightmares, it’s all tangled up together. But they’re also quiet and kind and thoughtful and you’d never know unless you knew.

Did I have to give SA as a backstory to both characters? No. I didn’t have to, I chose to, understanding the responsibility involved, and for these two characters and how it impacts them, SA can’t be exchanged for any other violence. It’s SA, specifically, that hurt them so badly.

People react to and adapt from and heal from SA in different ways and not everyone all the time suffers daily reminders of it—those two characters don’t—but even something as simple as having that survivor always keeping their door locked, or always having their back to the wall of a room so no one can sneak up behind them, or wearing more layers than necessary, or if they are a little bit shy or skittish or skeptical, at least shows that you, as the author, tried?

You didn’t just write it in a vacuum? You acknowledged that SA is its own kind of horror?

And lastly: If you’re using SA as a way to punish your characters’ choices, whether it’s the narrative punishing them for being painfully naïve and stubborn, the villain who “deserves it”, or a symbolic death of innocence, just please be prepared for pushback from your audience if your message is: There are situations where SA is the victim’s fault and deserved.

You don’t have to spend pages and pages distracting from the plot, but if you’re going to have your character assaulted, you owe it to them to let them hurt and heal.

Otherwise, why is it here?

#tw sa #tw sa mention #writing #writeblr #writing a book #writing advice #writing resources #writing tools #writing tips #character development #character design #fantasy

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therealcocoshady · 11 months ago

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Recovery - Chapter 34

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Thanksgiving is just around the corner and Reader is planning Talia and Jamal's wedding when unexpected news happen.

Tags : Angst

TW : Mention of drug use - Mention of pregnancy

Author's Note : I hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️

Y/N’s POV

Ever since Marshall had informed you that Kim would be there for Thanksgiving, you were a little bit freaked out. However, you didn’t really bring up the topic, and neither did your boyfriend. After the conversation, you spent a few days pondering whether or not you should try and escape the situation. Not being American, Thanksgiving wasn’t important to you anyway so you wouldn’t mind skipping it or celebrating it the same way you had done since you came to the US - with Talia and Jamal.

When you moved to Detroit, you quickly befriended Talia at the beginning of the school year. You were planning on spending your first Thanksgiving in your dorm room, on your own, watching a crappy movie and eating ramen, but she wouldn’t have it and invited you to spend the day with her, her boyfriend and her family. At first, you declined the invitation but she basically forced you to go and that’s how you met Jamal, as well as Talia’s mother and her three sisters. You got along with everyone and had an official, standing invitation for every holiday, your best friend’s family being just as warm and welcoming as her. Even when you were with your ex, you spent Thanksgiving with Talia. This year would be your first time celebrating it with someone else. When you told her about the change of plans, she was happy for you but made it clear that you would be missed. To be fair, you would miss them too. You didn’t know too much about how everyone else celebrated Thanksgiving, but Talia’s family certainly made it fun : everyone would spend the day cooking together in a relaxed atmosphere, making jokes, dancing to some 80s tunes and playing board games.

You didn’t mind skipping this in order to celebrate with the man you loved, but knowing his ex-wife would be there certainly made you reconsider. However, he made it clear that he was looking forward to celebrating with you and told you how important it was for him that you be there.

It’s a family holiday, he said. We’re officially living together, it doesn’t make sense to spend it apart, Y/N. We’re family, now.

We’re still very new, you reminded him. What will your family think ?

As far as they’re concerned, you can do no wrong, he chuckled. Apparently, they’re all relieved that my grumpy ass found someone who is actually willing to put up with me. And they all know and like you already.

Except for your ex, you pointed out.

Is that what it’s really about ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You sighed and did not reply. Part of you thought that it was a good thing that Marshall and Kim were on friendly terms, for the sake of their daughters. It was a proof of maturity on their part and you had heard enough stories from your friends with divorced parents to know that it was actually a good thing. Everyone would like for their parents to be able to get along after a divorce. But being the partner of someone who was divorced made it a little challenging. After all, no one expected to spend a holiday with their boyfriend’s ex-wife, let alone relished the idea.

I told you it will be fine, he said as he hugged you from behind while you were doing your skincare before bed. And it’s not just her, anyway. Everyone else will be there.

Yes but she’s the only one I haven’t met yet, you said sheepishly. What if she hates me ?

Why would she hate you ? He scoffed.

Because I’m your girlfriend… Duh ?

Look, Y/N, he said as he took your hands in his. Yes, Kim is my ex, and yes, we have a long and complicated history. But any form of romantic feeling between us is long gone. There won’t be any jealousy… On her part, at least.

The end of his comment made you raise an eyebrow.

You think I’m jealous of her ? You asked.

I don’t know, he said with a smile. Are you ?

I guess not, you shrugged. I do have many questions, though.

So we’re gonna have that talk, huh ? He asked with a sigh.

Do you mind ?

No offense, babe, but even if I did… I know you well-enough to know that you’d toss and turn all night, and you'll drive yourself crazy and me as well. I love you, and I want to get some sleep tonight, so for both our sakes, let’s get this over with, he chuckled.

Thank you, you said shyly as you felt your face redden a bit.

You both sat in bed and you were nervously tugging on your nightgown, not really knowing where to start.

I don’t have all night, though, he said playfully. Just ask your damn questions, babe.

Did she sleep here ? You asked, as it was the first question that popped into your head - hell, maybe you were in her spot !

In this room or in this bed ? He asked. This is the master bedroom, so yeah, we slept here. The bed and mattress are new, though, if that’s any comfort. Next question ?

Do you miss her, sometimes ? You asked nervously.

He glanced at you and shook his head with a smile.

What kind of question is that, Y/N ? He simply asked. Really ? You’re asking me if I miss her ?

Can you blame me for wondering, though ? Everyone knows she’s the love of your life, your high-school sweetheart and stuff…

Everyone also knows that our marriages were utter failures and that we drove each other crazy, he stated with an eye roll.

So you never think about her ? You asked.

That’s a different question. Of course I think about her often.

Often ?! What the hell did he mean by that ? As he saw the expression on your face - that probably resembled that of a deer in headlights - he let out a laugh.

I told you, babe, we have a history and three daughters, he said. Of course I think about her, whether it’s something about the girls or simply memories. I can’t erase twenty-plus years from my brain, you know ? But it doesn’t mean I miss her. I used to, for sure, but I don’t. Not anymore. You can think of the good times you had with someone without missing the relationship.

I guess, you said. How do you feel about her now, then ?

I mean… She’s the mother of my children and that will never change. In that regard, I respect her, because she’s doing her best to be a good mom, too. I might not always agree with her, in fact there’s a lot of shit we disagree on, but she’s high in my esteem. Also because she put up with a lot of me and my shit, he said.

Do you have feelings for her ? You blurted out before you were able to hold back the words.

As soon as you spoke these words, he frowned and shook his head. He sighed and took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers.

I just told you I don’t miss her, he said. So no, I don’t have feelings for her. Not romantic, at least. I do have affection for her, though, in a way. I care for her and I don’t want anything bad happening to her. If she ever needs me, I’m here. I told you before - whether we like it or not, Kim and I will always be family. So I will always be there to support her.

You nodded, a bit lost in your thoughts. He pulled you in his arms and leaned in, his forehead resting against yours while his piercing blue gaze held yours.

I need you to understand something, baby, he said. Nothing I’m saying here affects the way I feel about you. Just because I care for Kim doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You are the woman I love and the one who makes me happy, and no one will change that.

Ok, you said as you nodded softly. I love you too, you know ?

And even if she did hate you, which she won’t, you’re the one person I chose to share my life with. Whether anyone likes it or not, you are my girl and they have to respect that. And I know she does, he said.

Ok, you said. Does she know that we live together here ?

She does, he nodded.

And that I’m… You know… Younger ?

Yes, that too, he chuckled. I mean, I told her about you before so she knows a couple of things. She knows your name, your age, what you do in life, part of our story and, most of all, she knows I am head over heels in love with you.

When did you tell her all that ? You asked, a bit surprised.

I talked about you on a couple of occasions, he explained. When we got together, and a couple of months after our breakup, too. We don’t speak or see each other too often, but we keep up with each other’s life.

He was smiling, which was sort of reassuring. His transparency made you feel at peace and, even though you were still a bit anxious, you eased up. You smiled back and kissed him on the cheek.

Thank you for reassuring me, you said softly. I think you got yourself a night without me tossing and turning.

Good, he chuckled. I get how weird it must be for you, you know ? But I’m sure everything will be fine. It’s just Thanksgiving.

You smiled and nuzzled his neck as he held you in his arms, tracing circles on your shoulder.

I love you, Marshall.

I love you too, Y/N. And I’m really happy we’re celebrating our first holiday together, he added.

That’s a milestone, you said.

The first of many, many more, he said with a smile before pressing a kiss to your temple.

So… What does a typical Thanksgiving look like in the Mathers household ? You asked. What should I expect ?

Just classic Thanksgiving stuff, you know ? He shrugged.

Well I only ever celebrated at Talia’s family’s, so… I don’t know, you chuckled. In my experience, it involves Talia’s mom preaching about how good God is and the blessings he gives, lots of cooking, lots of eating, board games and Talia’s sisters arguing over who Jamal prefers !

Sometimes I forget you’re not from here, he chortled. No preaching here, but lots of eating, just hanging out together, talking, watching movies, playing games… And I have my basketball tradition with Nate.

Let me guess ? You usually win ? You asked with a grin.

I lost the last one, actually, he chuckled. But I’ll definitely humiliate him this year. I have a lady to impress, I can’t lose.

If you win, I’ll give you something to look forward to, you said teasingly.

Like what ? He asked with a smirk.

Win and you’ll see, you replied with a wink.

I have an entire week left before the game, he said. Believe me, I’m going to train for victory.

You giggled and kissed him softly before turning the lights off. You were a little reassured and figured that, even though your first Thanksgiving with him would be a bit stressful, you would get to admire him all sweaty on the basketball court and that would be absolutely worth it.

In the week leading up to Thanksgiving, you were busy with wedding stuff and maid of honor duties. Talia and Jamal had yet to set a date for the wedding but that didn’t prevent your best friend from giving you tasks such as browsing ideas, looking at dress designers and searching for venues. You gladly obliged : you had sent out a few applications for jobs but you hadn’t gotten any answers yet and you were starting to get a bit bored. You would have gladly taken care of the house or garden, but there was staff hired for that and the only thing you could do to help around the house was to cook dinner for Marshall when he came back from work. You enjoyed it but it was clearly not enough to fill your days and you were starting to feel like one of those rich, bored housewives. Helping Talia with the wedding was a welcome distraction and you took the task with the utmost seriousness. You had always been a sucker for weddings and you knew full well it would be the only one you would get to organize so you decided to enjoy it. Every day after she got off from work, your friend would come to your place and your living room was soon filled with bridal magazines and moodboards for what was set to be the wedding of the century. Jamal’s work as a renowned beatmaker allowed them to have a very comfortable lifestyle and he had made clear that, whatever Talia wanted for the wedding, she would get. And she happened to have expensive taste, as well as a never-ending guest list.

I will never find a venue, she loudly complained. I either hate the places we’re looking at, or they’re simply not big enough.

You let out a sympathetic laugh. With the immense guest list they had, it was no surprise that finding a venue would be challenging. It seemed like every single person they had ever met would be invited.

We will find something, you said with a smile. Or maybe you could try and shrink the guest list ?

Jamal put you up to this, didn’t he ? She sighed. He keeps on telling me that we should keep it small. If it were up to him, we would elope…

That could be super romantic, you know, you said tentatively. I mean… How many people on your guest list do you actually keep in touch with anyway ?

I want my princess wedding, she said. You don’t know what it is. You’ll see when you get engaged !

I’m not getting married, you reminded her. Marshall doesn’t want to get married. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

I can’t believe you’re willing to accept that, though, she said with an eye roll. You, of all people, not getting married ?

You know I’m a sucker for weddings and all things “traditional family”, you chuckled. But I’d rather never get married and be with Marshall than the other way around. He means more to me than a dress I’d wear for a day.

You know I love Em, but I just don’t get it, she shrugged before munching on a cupcake you had baked earlier. He’s old, so I get the “not wanting kids” part. But you moved back here for him and you decided to give up on kids to be with him, so the least he could do is put a ring on it, you know ?

We just got back together, you giggled. And don’t get me wrong, if he asked for my hand, I would say yes. I mean, he is the love of my life. But he seems pretty adamant. And as long as I’m with him, I’m good, so really… Doesn’t matter.

Still… I never thought you would be ready to renounce marriage and children for any man.

You could absolutely see where Talia was coming from. You had spent countless hours talking about wedding stuff, since the two of you had met. You had actually bonded over your love of romantic movies and series and watched countless wedding-related TV shows. But you had made your choice and you understood that Marshall didn’t want that. And after all, he was right : you didn’t need to sign a piece of paper to be in a loving, committed relationship. As long as you got to experience life with him and make great memories, you were happy. And as for the fun you would have had planning your own wedding, you would live vicariously through Talia, who would be the most beautiful bride. The conversation shifted and you got back to your order of business : the wedding. You looked at venues while she took a fun break and looked at the Vera Wang website.

I’m going to be sick, Talia muttered after a while.

Come on, you chuckled. The bridal collections can’t be that bad…

No, I’m really feeling sick, she said before running to the bathroom.

You heard her puke profusely and looked at the plate of cupcakes. She had eaten about half a dozen. You had eaten a few yourself, though not nearly as much, and you were feeling fine, so you doubted that your baking was actually to blame. When she came back from the bathroom, she looked rather ill and tired.

Do you want some tea ? You offered.

Yes, please, she said in a croaky voice.

Lay on the couch, I’ll make it. Do you think you caught a stomach bug or something ?

I don’t know, she said in a small voice. Maybe it’s my period ? I’ve been waiting for it to actually come for a while.

Wait… You’re late ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

You stared at her in disbelief and started to put two and two together. In the past days, she had complained about being tired and bloated, but you didn’t think too much of it. However, now that you knew she was late, it made you think of your own symptoms, from when you were pregnant. That’s how it had started after all : feeling tired, hungry and bloated, with a bit of morning sickness to top it off.

I can’t be pregnant, Talia said with a terrified look on her face. My mother gave me enough shit about living with Jamal before being married, she will kill me if I have a baby out of wedlock.

Maybe it’s just a false alarm. You’re using protection, right ? You asked as you tried to reassure her.

Of course, she said. I mean, except once, but what would be the odds ?

When was that ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hum… The night we got engaged ? She said nervously.

You opened big eyes. The night they got engaged was the night Jamal brought condoms to your room. And doing the math, it would make sense and explain Talia’s period being quite a bit late. On some level… You were the one who stopped taking the pill after your breakup and your best friend might as well be the one who ended up pregnant. You convinced her to take a pregnancy test and the two of you ended up driving to the nearest pharmacy, buying one from every brand. When you got back home, Talia was shaking with nerves.

You’ll be fine, you said as you gave her a hug. You guys have been together for ages and you guys have talked about having kids before. You know he will be supportive.

I know but… Right before the wedding ?! She asked nervously. That was not the plan, Y/N. I wanted to look good in my dress, I wanted to show off my figure in a bikini on a Hawaiian beach for my honeymoon…

Only one way to find out, you said. Now, go and take the test !

In true bestie fashion, you sat on the tub while Talia was peeing on the stick. She handed it to you during the mandatory three minute waiting period. You had been there before and you knew damn well how she might be feeling. You held her hand and started to feel overcome with nerves, as well as many other emotions. You were probably a bad friend for this, and you would never confess to feeling this way, but deep down, you were feeling envious. You were content with your life, but some shameful part of you felt like you would have been in her place, if you hadn’t broken up with Simon. You would most likely be engaged, maybe with a rainbow baby on the way. In a way, you were envious. Of course, being with Marshall was everything you wanted and you loved him more than hypothetical plans of having kids or getting married, and Talia was more than deserving of these things, but it was stronger than you. When the alarm on your phone rang, both you and Talia took a deep breath.

I can’t look at it, she said.

You sort of have to, you pointed out. You have to know, right ?

You look at it and tell me.

You nervously took the stick and looked at it. Two lines. Positive.

You’re… pregnant, you said in a blank voice.

She gasped and looked at it herself. She freaked out and refused to believe it, trying to convince the both of you that it might be a false positive and she ended up guzzling almost a gallon of water and taking another test. Then another one. And another one. Of course, all of them had the same result : your best friend was definitely pregnant.

I’m pregnant, she said in disbelief. I’m really pregnant.

How are you feeling ? You asked.

I… I can’t believe it, she simply said. I am pregnant.

She stared at the numerous tests on the sink and put a hand on her belly. She stared at you as tears welled up in her eyes.

I’m pregnant, she repeated.

Look, if you don’t feel ready, you can absolutely…, you began.

No, she said. I think… I’m happy. I’m having a baby with the love of my life. I’m so happy.

She took you in her arms and held you tightly as she sobbed with happiness. You were emotional - for a lot of different reasons - and you felt a tear roll on your cheek. Talia was the kindest soul you had ever met and you had absolutely no doubt that she would be an amazing mother. She was already so good at taking care of people.

You’re going to be a splendid mom, you said softly. That baby is going to be so lucky.

You’re going to be the best aunt, she said emotionally.

And Jamal is going to be the greatest Dad on earth !

Oh my God, I have to tell Jamal ! She said. And my mom ? Do I call my mom ? And the wedding ?! What do I do ?!?!

You could see her go through so many emotions at once. You tried your best to reassure her and walked her through what she needed to do. First, you told her to go home and break the news to Jamal before telling anyone else. Then, she would have to make some medical appointments to ensure everything was alright with her pregnancy. As for the wedding, you assured her that, whether they wanted to elope or wait until after the baby was born, you would do your best to make sure her dreams came true and that she would have the most beautiful wedding. Whatever she needed, you would be there for her. She hugged you tight before leaving your place, making you promise that you would not tell a soul, not even Marshall.

MARSHALL’S POV

Marshall sighed in relief as he drove past the gate of his property. The past few days at the studio had been pretty rough : nothing seemed to be going right and it was starting to get on his nerves. The week had started with an artist postponing a recording and writing session they were supposed to have together, as well as a sample clearing issue. However, there was a bigger problem : whenever he wanted to write, he couldn’t bring himself to. Whenever he jotted down some ideas or words on a page, everything felt insanely corny or simply wrong. He knew that was to be expected, though : whenever his personal life was peaceful, that’s when he found it harder to write and, right now, things happened to be going great at home. Every morning, he woke up with the biggest smile on his face, happy to be with the woman he loved. She was truly amazing and he loved living with her. She was easy to get along with and she took care of him by cooking, baking and providing him with comfort whenever he needed. There was literally nothing for him to complain about and, deep down, maybe it was what was lacking. When they were broken up, he was hurting and felt like shit but at least, it was a familiar feeling. As hard as it had been, he had learned to thrive on sadness, hurt, anger and resentment. Happiness, on the other hand, felt foreign to him, especially when it was this peaceful and domestic. There was always this irrational part of him that felt like it was too good to be true and was in panic mode. When he was with Kim, this kind of calm, peace and happiness only meant a storm was coming and that he was about to be brought to his knees. Same when he was a teenager living with his mother : when things were going great, it always meant drama was coming their way. So, obviously, he had developed trust issues and always felt odd when things were going good. Of course, he loved being with Y/N and he would not have it any other way. But at the same time, he couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiety.

When he got home, he found Y/N reading yet another bridal magazine on the couch while a documentary was playing on the living room TV. He immediately joined her and pulled her in for a hug. Her presence was just what he needed. However, she seemed a bit more distracted than usual.

How was wedding planning today ? He asked as he settled and pulled her legs over his knees.

Eventful, she replied.

Really ? What happened ? Did you argue about the color of the bridesmaids dresses ? He chuckled.

No, no, she said. I mean, whatever, it’s not really interesting.

Are you alright ? He asked.

Yeah… How was your day ?

She seemed a little nervous and preoccupied, but he figured that Talia was probably to blame. Jamal’s fiancée was amazing, but she did keep Y/N busy with wedding planning and he knew that she was definitely the type to turn into a bridezilla. He told his girlfriend about his day and a meeting he had about upcoming performance dates. He was set to be a headliner for Lollapalooza, not only in the US but also in Europe and South America. He tried to focus on the positive and keep his writing struggles to himself.

How would you feel about coming with me for Lollapalooza ? He asked.

I don’t know, she shrugged.

Come on, he said with a smile. It could be fun. I don’t want to be away from you for too long. And you could also enjoy the festival, see concerts, and we could travel a bit between the performance dates and make it romantic. What do you think ?

That could be fun, she agreed. I don’t know if I’ll be free, though.

I think Talia can do without you for a little while, he chuckled.

No, I meant… From work, she corrected. In case I find something, you know ? But maybe Talia will need me too. I don’t know.

We’ll see, he said with a smile. Are you sure you’re ok ? You seem… Gloomy ?

I’m fine, she shrugged. Sorry. I guess I’m just under the weather.

You’re working too hard for this wedding, he said as he took the magazine from her hands and pulled her closer to him. Come here.

She hummed and buried her face in his neck. They cuddled in this position for a while and he started to relax. The warmth of her breath on his skin was doing a good job soothing him and making him forget about the frustrations of the day. From the day she walked into his life, she had been a peaceful presence for him and getting to come home to her in the evening was a blessing he was definitely grateful for. He enjoyed being in a bubble with her and being able to forget about the pressure of his work. They didn’t need to speak, her mere presence in the room and her touch were enough for him to be able to ease up.

I missed you today, he said as he kissed her temple.

I missed you too, she replied.

If you didn’t have that appointment tomorrow, I’d take you to work with me, he continued. I could use your hugs throughout the day.

What appointment ? She asked, seemingly confused.

Your OB/GYN appointment for your contraception. Isn’t that tomorrow ?

Oh, right, she said sheepishly. I forgot about that.

Are you ok, babe ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. I mean… If you don’t want to take the pill, it’s fine, we can stick to condoms.

No, no, it’s not that, she replied.

What’s wrong, then ?

Nothing, she said. Sorry. Mind if I go lie down before preparing dinner ? I don’t feel too well.

No, of course not, he said softly. Do you want me to come with you ?

Don’t worry, she said. You can stay here.

She got up and kissed his cheek before heading to their bedroom. Something definitely seemed off. Ever since they got back from Europe, she had been in a rather good mood, even considering the situation with her Dad. Now, she almost seemed depressed and he had no idea why. He decided to let her rest, figuring that she was probably just tired or that her period might be on the way. A couple of hours later, he went to see her and ask if she was hungry. She immediately offered to cook something for him, even though she didn’t plan on eating, but he told her not to bother. Y/N was laying in bed, wearing one of his tee-shirts, doom scrolling on her phone, the preoccupied look still on her face. He kissed her and went to the kitchen for a quick sandwich and a can of diet coke. When he was done, he threw his can in the trash and saw three sticks that looked all too familiar : pregnancy tests. Ever since he got back with Y/N, they’d had protected sex and, on one occasion when the condom broke, she had gotten emergency contraception. There was no way she could be pregnant. So why the hell had she taken these tests ? In a matter of seconds, his heart had started pounding in his chest. He nervously grabbed one of the tests, hoping it was negative. But there were clearly two lines. Positive. So were the two other ones. He felt terrified and dizzy. That had to be a nightmare. He could not have a baby. Not at fifty-two. Not when he had sworn that he would not have any more children. If anything, he was the last person on earth that should have kids. He loved his daughters, obviously, and even though raising them was his biggest accomplishment, it was also the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Seeing the two lines on the pregnancy tests gave him flashbacks of all the sleepless nights he’d had, tossing and turning, doubting himself and being terrified to mess things up. There was no way he would be able to do it all over again. Now that his daughters were grown-up and out of the house, he wanted to take it easy, enjoy life with Y/N and be able to do whatever he wanted. The last thing he expected was to change diapers, get up in the middle of the night and just struggle all over again. He took his face in his hands. He could not do this, and especially not with Y/N. She had not even been sober for two years. He had been there with Kim and he knew what it was like to see the mother of his children relapse and struggle with sobriety. No kid ever deserved this and he was simply not strong enough to raise a kid with another addict. Not again. He tried to pace himself but he couldn’t. He had to talk to her. He did not understand. Why hadn’t she told him she was late ? When did she take the test ? Why didn’t she tell him she was pregnant ? He had so many questions. He grabbed the sticks and walked to the bedroom to confront her.

Please tell me it’s a prank, he said as he walked in. Please tell me it’s not true. Please tell me they’re fake.

Fake what ? What prank ? She asked as she looked up. There’s no prank.

So it’s real ?! He blurted out. How long did you think you could hide this from me ?!

Hide what from you ? She asked as her eyebrows knitted.

THIS ! He yelled as he threw the pregnancy tests on the bed.

He was livid. His anxiety had simply turned to anger. The idea that she could have the audacity to pretend not to know what he was talking about was driving him crazy. Had she even taken the plan B pill ? He couldn’t think straight anymore. He felt betrayed and trapped. He could see her face change as she saw the pregnancy tests. Her face started to crumble and tears started to roll on her cheeks. But if she thought he would fall for it, she was wrong. No amount of crying would work and she was not getting away with it.

Don’t even try that shit with me, Y/N, he said coldly. You don’t get to pretend you have no idea when I’m talking about when I just found these fucking pregnancy tests. And you don’t get to cry when you’re the one who tried to hide that shit for me. What were you fucking thinking ?! Were you waiting for the legal delay for an abortion to be over ? For an ultrasound to soften me up ?!

W-What ? She asked. No, Marshall, it’s not…

What is it, huh ?! Fuck, we talked about this, we fucking broke up over this, so don’t tell me you didn’t fucking know how I feel about having kids, he continued. I’m not having another kid. Especially not with you. When you get to the doctor tomorrow, you better ask him to point you to the nearest abortion clinic !

She stared at him in shock. Her mouth was slightly open, she was still crying but she looked in disbelief. What was she thinking ? That he would jump up at the news ? He shook his head and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

It’s Talia, she said. She…

Of course it’s Talia, he scoffed. Of course your stupid friend put you up to this. Do you know the number of times she told me to suck it up and agree to marriage, babies and shit and get you back ? I gotta hand it to her, she’s fucking persistent. Though I must admit I didn’t think she would put you up to this.

At this point, he wasn’t even thinking about what he was saying, just spitting his words in a spiteful way. As seconds went by, he was getting more and more worked up. He didn’t care about this pregnancy. He did not want to. He simply refused this possibility. There was no way he was having another baby. He loved Y/N but there was no way he would have a kid with her.

You’re not the first person to try this with me, you know ? He spat. I should have known better. But you’re the last person I would have expected to try and fuck me ovI-

I’M NOT PREGNANT ! Y/N finally yelled before throwing the tests back in his face.

You’re not ?! He asked in disbelief. Whose fucking tests are they then ?!

TALIA’S ! TALIA IS PREGNANT, YOU ASSHOLE ! NOT ME !

He felt a sudden wave of relief wash over him. He didn’t realize he needed to breathe that much, but it felt like he had a whole bottle of oxygen poured into his lungs. He felt at least thirty pounds lighter. Y/N, on the other hand, looked absolutely livid. And why wouldn’t she ? He realized he had basically insulted her, blinded by anger. As his mind got a little clearer, he recognized he might have gone a little overboard.

Thank God, he sighed. Babe, I…

Cut it, she said as she got up from bed and started to leave the room.

Wait, he pleaded as he grabbed her arm.

She jerked her arm and groaned before going to the corridor. He followed her, trying to apologize and get her to talk to him.

Y/N, I’m sorry, he said sheepishly.

Please, she scoffed. You’re not sorry.

I am, he assured her. Nerves got the best of me. I’m really sorry.

Well, at least I got to know what you really think of me, she said.

Where are you going ? He asked as she went down the stairs.

On the couch. I don’t know about you, but I usually don’t sleep in the same room as people who think I am capable of betraying them, she spat.

I didn’t say that, he defended himself knowing full well he had, indeed, said that.

You did, Marshall, she said coldly. You literally said I tried to fuck you over. And not only do you think I am a terrible person, you also insulted my best friend.

You’re not sleeping in the living room, it’s stupid, he said.

Well I would have appreciated waiting until tomorrow to gather my things and figure out my next move, she pointed out.

Your next… Y-You want to… leave ?!

She did not answer. She only shrugged. Her demeanor and gaze were cold. She was clearly pissed, understandably so. But… Leaving ? She couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t lose her. He had promised to himself he would do everything in his power not to. The idea of her leaving put him in a state of panic and brought him back to their breakup, to that fateful Saturday morning, over pancakes, about seven or eight months ago.

You can’t leave.

Why should I stay ?! She spat. Why should I stay with someone who thinks I am capable of betraying them ?

I didn’t mean that, he pleaded. I panicked, I’m sorry. Babe, I love you. I know you’d never… Fuck, I… Don’t leave me. Please.

Let’s be clear, she said as she looked at him dead in the eyes. The only reason I’m still standing here is because my best friend is telling her future husband that they’re having a child and there is no way in hell I’m ruining that moment for her. Otherwise, I’d be over there and back in my old room already.

Don’t do this, he said on the verge of tears. Please don’t leave me. I just… You seemed a little off, today, and you said it had been eventful, and when I saw the tests, I… I don’t know, I panicked.

The reason I was off is because my best friend just told me she was pregnant, you dumbass ! She yelled. I was off because I had to stand in my own bathroom and hold these fucking pregnancy tests and see that they were positive and they’re not mine !

She was starting to cry again. She mumbled something in French and went to the living room, as he followed in her step. She sat on the couch and brought her knees to her chin. He stood there, watching her.

Just leave, she said.

No, he replied. I want to talk about it. I want to make things right between us. I’m so sorry…

You want to talk ? Let’s talk then, she said sarcastically. You said you’re not having another kid, especially not with me. What was that ?

I just don’t want more kids, he said evasively. I’m in my fifties, I’ve had three daughters, I don’t want more.

I know that, she said as she rolled her eyes. And I respect that. But answer the damn question, Marshall. What did you mean about me ?!

It doesn’t matter, he pleaded. It really doesn’t. You don’t want a kid, do you ?!

Believe me, the last thing on my wish list is to have a baby, especially with you, she replied.

Then it doesn’t matter, he simply said. I was out of line, I shouldn’t have accused you and I’m sorry. Let’s go to bed, I’ll make it up to you.

Just say it, she said firmly. If you don’t, I swear to God, I’m packing a suitcase, calling a cab and booking a hotel room.

I meant addicts like us don’t get to make that kind of mistakes, Y/N, he sighed. Addicts are shitty parents. I should know.

Wow, she simply scoffed.

She was staring at him with a look of both pain and disdain. He had obviously struck a chord. She closed her eyes and sighed.

Why do you even bother with me ? She questioned. Why did you take me back ?

What do you mean ? He asked nervously. I love you, I want to be with you.

Why would you want to be with someone who you obviously think is not good enough ?! That’s just stupid, she pointed out. Why bother ?

What ?! No, Y/N, I don’t… Of course you’re good enough.

You know, I’m fine with your choices, she said with a hint of sadness. I respect that you’re done with marriage, and that you’re done with having kids. But you thinking I shouldn’t get to have children ? That fucking hurts.

I’m sorry…

STOP ! She screamed. You’re not sorry. I was ready to renounce having kids. Because I love you more than any unborn child. But do you even realize how much it hurts to know that if I had actually gotten accidentally pregnant, the person I sacrificed everything to be with would not support me ?!

He felt his heart strain a little. Seeing the pain on her face made him feel like the worst asshole in the world. To be fair, if she had actually been pregnant, he would have supported her. Sure, he thought abortion would be a better option, but he would never force her. If they had been in that situation - and thank God they weren’t - he would have stood by her side and supported her to the best of his abilities. He had simply been mean and stupid. Once again, anger had gotten the best of him.

I would have been there, he said. Of course I would have been. I love you, Y/N.

But you think I would be a shitty mom, she pointed out.

I’ve seen addiction ruin families, he explained. It certainly ruined mine, in more ways than one.

You still think of me as an addict, don’t you ? She asked on the verge of tears. No matter how long I can stay sober, you think I can’t be trusted ever again ?

I-I don’t know, he replied honestly. In my book, an addict is an addict. I still think of myself as an addict. It doesn’t mean people can’t improve or recover but… It’s tricky. But I love you. I love you more than life itself, baby.

She looked at him and simply shrugged. No matter what he said, he got the feeling that it would not matter much. He hated that angry side of himself. It wasn’t the first time that his anger got the best of him and ruined everything. He had been to therapy for his anger for years but, right when he thought he had made progress, it had to come and bite him in the ass once again.

Please talk to me, he begged. Please say something.

I have my appointment tomorrow morning, she simply said. I’ll pack my things when I get back. I will be out of here by the time you get back from work tomorrow.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #recovery fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #Eminem angst

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pokemenlovingmen · 2 years ago

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Okay!! I was able to counter act the links being funky in my app by opening your blog in my mobile browser!!!! so I was able to read your rules n stuff so now I can finally request (yusss!!! also, I saw the "ingo,,, again" under the PLA characters you write for and it made me think "ingo 2,,, electric boogaloo" heheheh. also yeah fuck kamado, all my homies hate kamado)

okay, could I please request a lil drabble (if you only do hc's thats fine of course! I just couldnt find it clearly if you only do hc's) of Adaman taking care of a reader who is on bed rest and healing? the exact stuff of how and what is up to you, for me its more so the comfort and caring side, not so much the angst side (so like, nothing thats like "omg reader was near death" pls?). gender of the reader I dont mind, just do what youre most comfortable with and yee!! thank youuuu

Hi you’ve been such a kind supporter I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you!! And yeah. Fuck Kamado. That exile would have been my villain origin story if the game gave me more agency, I swear to god.

And conversely, we love Adaman. They put him in pokemas and my quality of life has improved significantly <3

Oh and I’m sorry about the lack of clarity of what I do! I do only HCs, but at the level of detail I can’t stop myself from including, they’re kinda like a weird fusion between drabble and headcanons.

Healing Takes Time — Adaman x M!Reader

💎 — Hisui is a dangerous place and injuries ranging from minor to severe are all too common. So Adaman’s not exactly a stranger to presiding over loved ones on bed rest.

💎 — Doesn’t mean he’s good at it, though.

💎 — Mai reminds him that the slow passage of time is just as important as things that happen in the quick, efficient manner that he prefers as well. It’s not a slight from Mighty Dialga being displeased, it’s just the nature of time. But he can’t just stand around when it comes to your health! Yes, rest takes time, he’s aware, but all this waiting feels the same as doing nothing to him.

💎 — Mai basically has to keep him away from you constantly because he’s always fretting over you, which is definitely sweet of him even if it’s not exactly helpful, but it is funny to watch the cartoonish shenanigans of Mai trying to constantly shoo Adaman away from the medical tent.

💎 — Even if what you’re recovering from isn’t serious, you’d never be able to guess that from how he behaves.

💎 — He essentially becomes your primary nurse and seldom lets you out of his sight if he can help it (thanks to Mai being the reasonable one, he usually can’t).

💎 — Once things calm down though, after the first two or three days when your recovery progress is becoming quite apparent, he’s less frazzled and more willing to leave you be. He just can’t help that impatience winning out, though, sometimes.

💎 — He’ll be there to help you with maintaining yourself while you rest, sitting beside your futon while you recover, brushing your hair so you don’t have to, keeping a fresh cold compress on you at all times if the problem is that you’re sick and feverish, changing your bandages if it’s an injury, all that.

💎 — If you’re okay with it, he’ll also happily bring his Leafeon to see you for some good old fashioned grass-type aromatherapy. I know Leafeon can’t actually learn the move aromatherapy, but it’s clearly made of plants and must have some kind of floral/herbal smell.

💎 — And since we know he is a house husband in the making guy with an interest in cooking, you bet he’ll be bringing you all manner of home-cooked meals.

💎 — He’s so dutiful, oftentimes he doesn’t go back to his own tent for the night and will instead fall asleep on the cold floor next to your futon.

💎 — Adaman is very sure to keep you abreast of all goings-on in the clan, usually nothing much of interest, but he does uncharacteristically bring you all sorts of gossip. It’s not that he likes to gossip, but while you’re bedridden he can’t think of much to entertain you with so this is what he’s settled on. And also he probably would like to vent his multitude of frustrations with Melli specifically because you just know 3/5 instances of drama involve some kind of category 5 Melli moment.

💎 — Once you start to recover and leave your bedridden state, he’s still just as present as he was before.

💎 — If it was an injury he’s always making sure you’re not overexerting yourself, and if it’s something that happened to your legs, he’s volunteering to help you walk around so you don’t put too much pressure on the injury.

💎 — For illness he’ll always be on your case about taking whatever medicines/remedies you were instructed to, because your recovery has already taken ages (to him) already, and he’s not sure he can bear seeing you sick for much longer.

💎 — Regardless of the reason you’re bedridden, he’ll always give you a kiss on the forehead when he enters the tent and before he leaves—though if you’re sick, he musters the self control to wait. Ideally he can keep that up, but he might get a little impatient… oh well. He needs to remind you how much he loves you, and if he ends up getting what you have, he knows you’ll care for him just as dutifully as he did you.

#pokemon x reader #pokemon male reader #male reader #adaman x male reader #adaman x reader #adaman

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knightyoomyoui · 8 months ago

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The 1% Of Chances | TWICE Jeongyeon x Male Reader Fanfic : CHAPTER 12 (FINALE)

After more than a year, this book is now officially closing with this finale chapter. Find out the rest of the twists to be unveiled and if these will all end in a positive... or a negative note. Thank you everyone again to those who read, voted, and added The 1% Of Chances on their reading lists!

1 MONTH LATER

Your recovery from your injuries has been massively smooth and progressive, thanks to the guidance from your doctors and your friend Somin, who were there for you every day, just as he said. Although you cannot move properly like a regular person would do yet, nevertheless it is a relief that you can see that your body is healing from all the damages it took from your accident.

Speaking of accidents, it may be perplexing and surprising to you to learn that you really did get involved in that which led you into this state, but you just let it pass rather and call it like it indeed was true. The doctor advised that you must stress your brain too much from remembering everything, and so you followed.

What also helped you from working patiently on your recovery aside from Somin was the other visitors you just had recently, which shocked you because you weren’t expecting that you had developed friendship this much to numerous people.

Eight women entered your room and respectfully greeted you before they began to introduce themselves one by one to you. You learned that you all met them because of some "acquaintance,” which also implicated Somin for that part. As you take a look at each of them, you are pretty impressed yourself that you got yourself surrounded by decent and gorgeously looking set of women here.

The last one who approached you, named Nayeon, wished you good luck and shared with you that they’re actually nine, but that one more person isn’t present because she’s unfortunately not available right now.

It had you feeling a bit disappointed and sad that maybe this girl was probably the least one you’re close with; that’s why she doesn’t bother her that much to visit you, but Nayeon reassured you with the idea that “If only she can be here, she’s definitely the first person who will come up to meet you and receive her utmost concern.”

You then developed the hope that you'd eventually run across this last woman someday and kept it in your mind that you'd pursue for it once you finally healed from your injuries. Thanking them all for spending their allotted time to pay a visit to their friend despite knowing that you may not remember them yet, but their thoughtfulness for you as your friends was highly recognized.

With additional motivation and encouragement, that effectively lifts you up to continue the passion of going back to your feet in much stronger and healthier condition than before.

You ate a balanced meal, did some mild exercises, took some meditation, and spent some time with your friend as he slowly brought back some buddy and personal stories you had missed.

A doctor also assigned you to a therapist to aid you in bringing back that function of your brain to recover all those traces of your memories that may have gone blocked due to the damages it suffered.

You attended every session with Dr. Han, and her instructions and advice were beneficial , and it made you concentrate deeper on controlling and monitoring the limits of your brain to reinstate all the important memories that were hopefully temporarily forgotten.

At your last scheduled appointment with her, you reported to her about the improvements you were feeling, and she also did the same evaluation of you, in which you were proud that she knew that you had done great on rebuilding yourself into the YN that everybody knew. She also congratulated you that your injuries were now almost completely healed, and tomorrow you can now be sent out and go home with your friend, who has too much already to take care of you.

Before you and her ended your consultation, the doctor noticed your silence while she’s rearranging her desk. She found you staring somewhere at nothing, seemingly fixated on whatever caught your attention.

“Mr. LN, are you good? ”She asked, glancing at you as she watched you just sit there without any movement at all. Your face has this mix of fascination and impression written on it. Thankfully, your doctor’s gentle voice was enough to cut you back from dozing off fromyour senses. With a shudder, you turned to face the doctor, your eyes blinking quickly, and you felt disoriented. “I'm fine, Doc. Sorry,” you apologized as you rubbed the bridge of your nose and breathed slowly. Forcing a smile at her, she just took one more check on you before you shyly avoided her stares at you, roaming around the room as if you’re reminiscing about something.

Bingo, that’s what the doctor had crossed into her mind, making her figure out the change in your behavior. “Something’s making you unstable? ”

“Ahh… a little bit, I guess.” You feigned a chuckle. “I still couldn’t believe I had these. Treatments, comatose, injuries… it still hasn’t struck me well that I went through all of those.”

“YN, as I said… confusions is one of the main symptoms of people who were having amnesia. You don’t know what to believe, to trust, or to comprehend yet… because what you seem to be feels more convincing than what everybody tells on you, since you couldn’t rememberly entirely about any of those.” She recapped.

“I know, doc… but I’m not confused anymore.” You corrected.

“Then what do you feel?”

“Surreal? Was that the term?” You asked for clarification. “Like, I’m having this feeling that… I wasn’t suppose to be like this at all.”

“You didn’t deserved to be in that accident, Mr. LN.”

“And neither did somebody who he t got hospitalized whether its little less than that or not.”

The doctor furrowed her brows. “Did you unlocked another core memory just now, YN?”

“I don’t know, I hope it is.. because it felt so real.” You shrugged and sighed. “I had it right after I woke up from coma ever since, and just thinking about it still almost making me question what it truly is… because it gave me the feeling of being safe and… important.”

“Give me more of what you’re trying to tell, YN. Why does it feel so important for you to remember?”

“Because I was in love?” You gazed at the doctor. “There’s this girl in my dreams while I was in coma. I couldn’t remember her face anymore but… everything she’s been saying and doing to me, I sensed some fear in those. A fear of losing a loved one away from you.

And now that i couldn’t remember who she is… it’s a mystery to me, you know? Who is this person that appeared in my dreams, that’s making me take this accident I’ve had lightly because it’s as if she knows that… I’ll do better once I recover. Do you think she… means something to me?”

The doctor took some time to put the details piece by piece before she took the turn to speak in her response. “That question is now up for you to discover, YN. Whoever that girl is, has made you feel special, and you were holding her in that reserved spot to your heart. Actually, dreams that feels too real, some says that it was a foreshadowing that something that will happen or rather, something that did occurred before.

I couldn’t help you anymore to revisit that particular dream you just had to discover if that moment is bound to be real or she’s just a part of your fantasy that you wish to be real,, but just so you know… no matter what that dream is trying to tell you, if you have the chance to meet who may that girl is, make sure that you take it, okay?”

You nodded at the recommendation that was given to you and you thanked her for sharing her thoughts about it. After exiting the room, you joined Somin who has finished paying the remaining hospital bills, send your overwhelming gratitude for the doctors and nurses involved on your recovery.

Riding the car, Somin closed the door and took the wheels while you sat beside him. Seeing you wandering around the surroundings outside, Somin had a smile on his face, still thankful and happy that his friend is back all too well.

“You good, YN?”

“I am. Good to be back, honestly. I feel free again.” You said while peeking at the hospital’s structure between the tall, old trees, dozens of cars parked and a bright morning.

“Take it all in, bro.” He smirked and patted your shoulder before he focuses on driving yourselves back to the place where you can resume your rest peacefully.

Almost half an hour later, you and Somin reached your place safety. He escorted you out with your crane and propped his body to lean against him while both were slowly walking towards the door of your house.

“Welcome aboard, this is our humble abode, YN.” He patted the couch as we walked passed it. “Just sit there and relax, don’t move too much. You can tell me what do you want and I’ll just hand it to you.”

You listened to him and slowly sank your body into the soft cushions. You leaned your back on the headboard and stared at the ceiling. Somin then came out of his room and went to the kitchen rummaging for something on those shelves.

“Do you want to eat?” he exclaimed.

“Nah, I’m not hungry yet.”

“Oh sure. How about water?”

You paused for a moment to contemplate. “Uhm, that will do. I’m kinda thirsty.”

Somin grabbed the pitchel inside the refrigerator and poured your glasses full with the said drink. After emptying it and releasing a sigh of contentment. Dropping the glass on the table, you said out something that Somin didn’t expect.

“Can you tour me around the house again?”

Somin looked at you perturbedly. “You sure? You should go and rest-”

You shook your head and rose back on the couch, taking the crane with you. Somin noticed and attentively assisted you. “I’m not that tired anyway. I just want to test if I’ll get something today. Can we?”

Somin sighed and nodded. “Alright, but if you can’t yet, we’ll try it the other day.”

You made Somin lead the way. He then starts narrating to you some of the memorable things that happened in the living area. For example, you were known for being a video game enthusiast, and the proof he has is those sets of PS5 with different games organized neatly underneath the TV.

He would then share that he once caught you sleeping on the couch while the game was paused and your controller was in your hands. That’s why he was instead the one who continued the progress of the game on your behalf.

“Next one is here, the kitchen. You were mostly the one in charge of cleaning the dishes but you’re still good at cooking, although I’m actually the one who leads for us.” He said as he lets you look around at what do you both have in this section. “We rarely let our supplies ran out for more than a day, when it comes on going for the groceries, it’s either you and i who will go as long as one of us is available here in the house.”

“Have I burnt a food once?”

“Almost, but your food set is limited so it’s a seldom that you can overcook something that you know how to.”

“Well that’s good to hear.” You were relieved to know that you didn’t caused a hindrance before.

You and Somin then left the kitchen and went through the another room. He opened the door and flicked the switch, the lights went on to illuminate the area. A bed, cabinet, chair, and a desk was the first thing that gets upon you.

“Here’s my room, all I know that you have a memory here is that you came barging onto my room because you were mad that I ate that leftover food that you spared on the fridge. We almost got into a fight there because you entered in such a bad timing.

“What were you doing at that time I complained?”

“I was stressed at the piled up papers I have to input datas and calculate them but then my computer decided to act like shit and here you came to follow and do the same.” He rolled his eyes. You just laughed a little at how funny it sounded.

“Oh so you’re an accountant?”

“Yup. Numbers and asserting datas is my life.” He said.

“Oh…”

“Anything clicks up so far?”

“Not yet.” You shook your head.

Somin nodded and tightlipped. “Okay, let’s go for one more… I bet this one might help you even just for a bit.”

Somin did the same from his room and now he lets me be the one to enter first as he shows me what’s inside. “I suspect it’s my room?”

“Gotcha. I don’t know much what were you doing here, but I can remember when you became sick and I was the one who feed you here.” He said as he sat on your bed while he lets you explore around at your belongings displayed throughout the walls and corners of the room.

“Did I had a job?”

“Almost. Well about that you were accepted at-”

Somin paused when he saw you staring at some posters pasted on the wall beside your window. He waited for something like a reaction but you remained frozen in your spot. He then approaches you from behind.

“What happened, YN?”

“N-nothing, I was like… surprised to have these here.” You said. “Aren’t they the ones who visited me two days ago?”

You were pertaining to those faces of nine girls in the poster of More And More as part of those TWICE merch that you have in your room. You also observed the posters and it was very clear that these girls are familiar to them.

“They’re my friends, right? They look popular, Somin.”

Somin nodded. “They’re not just some regular people you’re friends with, YN. They’re part of a K-Pop group that is highly recognized not only here in South Korea but to the rest of the world now too.” He told you. “Their group is called TWICE. One of the things that you love the most is listening to music, man. K-Pop is not an exception to those and listening to them made you became one of their huge fans.

And about what I was about to tell you about your job? You almost got accepted in their company if only you attended the final interview.”

“A-almost?”

“That’s the time you got into an accident.” he revealed.

“B-but how did I became f-friends with them?”

“One of the members is my cousin. You must remember her, don’t you?” He then pointed at the woman sitting at the right side with all white dress and short hair.

“That’s the bunny looking girl, right?”

“Yeah, she’s Nayeon. She’s my cousin. And we’re the reason how did you met them. Quite a luck you got in me, right?” You smirked and playfully bumped your shoulder in which you smiled.

“I’ve seen them already…” you then pointed at every members and Somin calls out their names again for you to practice memorizing them.

“The orange-hair is Sana, the blue one’s Dahyun, that blonde on the bottom is Mina and on the top is Momo, the pink one is Jihyo, standing behind her is Chaeyoung and beside Momo was Tzuyu.” He said.

“Then who’s this?” You pointed at the last remaining woman Somin haven’t named yet. She was wearing an all black dress and a blonde hair just like Mina and Momo.

“Oh… her?” Somin hesitated. “Uhm… her name is Jeongyeon. She’s the one who wasn’t able to visit you when you were at the hospital.”

“Ahh… so she’s a friend too?”

Somin looked at you with a pity, which you didn’t catched as you looked at her more through all the posters you have. He remained silent, left your question hanging.

“I haven’t seen her yet, but she’s the most familiar out of all of them.”

Somin widened his eyes. “Y-you do?”

“Yeah. My interest piques mostly at her. It’s as if inside of me… knows something.”

“That’s because she’s your bias, YN.” He revealed to you with a forced smile. You were amazed to learn about it and returned your sight at Jeongyeon. Somin then muttered about something and lowered his head.

“I think I had a great pick. She’s beautiful.” You smiled as you stared at her face until you suddenly felt stinging pain in your head. “A-agh…”

“YN? Hey, how you’re feeling?”

“I-it’s hurting.” You said as you hold your head tightly.

“Alright, that’s enough. Let’s get you back there.” He said as he helped you walk carefully.

2 MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS LATER

You and Somin were buying some food from the recession area of the KSPO dome, where you both are going to watch TWICE’s 5th World Tour ‘Ready To Be’ concert's kickoff.

Through these past few months, you began to recollect some of your lost memories with Somin and yourself, and you also began to recognize the girls that you were going to watch in support today. You also found yourself to love some of the hobbies and favorites of yours that you temporarily haven't been able to do to entertain yourself at least at home.

There may have been tough times when your head just started throbbing painfully, but it was still worthwhile in the end because the return it gave you just gave you the advantage of slowly remembering everything you'd lost that held significance to you.

You were waiting for Somin to finish buying your preferred snacks. You then looked at the things you’re holding with you to pass the short time. You lit the lightstick in your hand and played with it. The glowing colors were reflecting on the huge bubblehead fan of Jeongyeon, which you are also gripping.

Yes, even after understanding again your love for their music, it still hasn’t changed that Jeongyeon was still the one who won your interest. You proclaimed her as your bias, and there, you wished that you wanted to see her at least again at the concert.

Since she’s technically you and Somin’s friend too, he had no choice but to comply with your request.

After he returned with the snacks in his possession, you and him then searched for your seats. The view of the KSPO dome with all the lightsticks flickering is a sight to behold, and your anticipation and excitement to experience it again increase. The chants began to erupt, and sing-alongs resonated throughout the arena as the countdown began for the show to start.

And when it does, you were left at awe and chills to watch the capability of your friend’s talents. They’re so perfect to be idols and you couldn’t help but to be proud of their massive achievements and popularity, that despite through all of these, they still remained to be humble and considerate for their fans.

However, your eyes were mostly fixated at how Jeongyeon flawlessly perform, in which the fans lauded it with their chants saying that they’re so glad that she’s back and that she still got it, in which you don’t quite understand what they mean by that.

Hours have passed and the concert concluded with their first city to tour. It was such an incredible moment to add on those new memories you have to install on your mind. You and Somin then exit the arena after taking some pictures.

“Aren’t we going to meet them?” You asked him.

“Later. They’ve set some dinner later on to celebrate their first show’s success and Nayeon just texted me that we’re invited. Their security is very strict for these events so I guess we better just follow her.” Somin replied.

That night, you and Somin arrived at the said hotel where TWICE is staying in for a while before they relocate again to Canada. Both then met Nayeon and Jihyo who were waiting for them at the lobby.

They also greeted you with delight, expressing how they feel uplifted seeing you doing well after your recovery.

“Uhm, Somin? Can I go to the restroom first?”

“Yeah sure, but hurry up will you? I need you here before we log in.”

“Okay.”

You left the three falling in line on the reception area and did your break on one of the cubicles. After relieving yourself and checked your look for tonight, not wanting to look horrendous except from the scar in your head that you took from the accident.

As you about to exit the men’s restroom with quick steps, you didn’t realized that you just bumped into somebody due to your clumsiness of looking at the floor instead of focusing on the direction you’re heading with.

Thankfully, to your quick reflex, you managed to catch the person before fully crashing on the floor. As you observed who it is, it was a slap of shame to your face that it was a woman you almost hurt.

“Oh my God… I’m so sorry!” You said as you traced her frantically while holding her back. You helped her stand up by raising her with both arms and you heard her groan while readjusting her dress.

“It’s fine, you didn’t mean it but please watch where you’re going.” As she raises her head on you, her face became evident to your sight. It resulted for you to be dumbstrucked and stunned standing in front of this woman.

“Y-you’re Jeongyeon, right?” You asked.

“You got it right, mister.” She forced a smile on you and was about to walk away from you but then you came up to add something to say.

“So you’re my friend?”

Jeongyeon stopped on her steps and slowly spun her body to face you. She found it different to be assumed by somebody other than she’s a celebrity or an idol because of her image as a TWICE member. “Friend?”

“I-I'm sorry. You may not have known me, but my f-friend knows you. He’s the cousin of Nayeon, and he told me that you were my friend too, just like them.” You started to become a bit awkward telling this to her as you observed her reaction being weird or puzzled.

“Sorry, I’ll stop. Maybe I’m just wrong.” You were about to excuse yourself to get yourself away from the embarrassment you have just committed, sounding like a delusional.

But in your astonishment, you felt your sleeve getting tugged by her hand.

“Wait.” You looked back at her, and your gap became closer to one another. Jeongyeon stared at your face as you did the same. Your heart then started to react uncontrollably, beating faster knowing you’re in contact with your bias in TWICE.

As for her, you don’t know that she’s feeling the same way too. Her fingertips contacting your touch felt like it ignited one spark through her veins across her heart to start burning up into an everlasting blast.

“I-I think I know what you mean.” She said. “Were you the one that Somin oppa mentioned to me? W-what your name again?”

“YN.”

“So i’m right, I do feel like I know you. They said you were my friend too. The closest, I must add.”

You nodded at her. “That’s what they also told me about you. Sadly, we didn’t met early when I got hospitalized. They said you weren’t able to come because you’re busy at something. I supposed it’s work so yeah… it is important.”

“It was important but no, honestly I was hospitalized too when they visited you.” She shared.

Without your knowledge, the one who is occupying the van who bumped hardly onto you and your motorcycle was her. She was also involved in the accident as yours, although less critical than you, hers also suffered the fate as your are dealing with.

She also had amnesia just like you. She couldn’t remember your face at all, she barely can remember your name, that she was a close individual of you, and…

… she loved you just as much as you once loved her.

You and Jeongyeon had your feelings developed for one another but your fates didn’t allowed you to discuss about it and definitely would led to both of you becoming couples, if only if wasn’t to some uncertainties that holds both of you back. Instead, it all got erased in your memories, unfortunately; for a permanent period of time. That’s one of those memory traces that both of you lost forever.

When Jeongyeon recognized that it was you in front of their van, she was about to open the window and shout for you but then the truck interrupted and collided on the van, which harshly sent her bumping hard onto the backseat with her head hit strong on the frame of the door. That’s all she can remember just as you who has also remember now how did you got into accident.

You were taken at the hospital in the same place as hers, but she recovered way earlier because she didn’t suffered much injuries as you. She wasn’t allowed to get out that much of the room, but then her friends and Somin who has visited in her room to introduce himself as one of his friends has mentioned that they were also visiting this guy named YN who is also her friend.

She wanted to meet him but they decided that not for now as it would be hard for the both while going through their conditions. That’s why she waited patiently to recover, with the means of opportunity to meet you someday as well. She was also the one who came up with the excuse that she’s gone due to work concerns, because she doesn’t want you to get worried thinking about her that she also got hospitalized as you too.

“I didn’t wanna have them tell it to you because I don’t want you to feel bad for me. I wanted you to think of yourself first.”

“But are you doing well now?” You asked her.

“Yeah, I am.” She nodded.

“Good for you.”

“Are you as well?”

“Much better than before.” You answered. “Now that I got to finally see you, yeah.”

She chuckled. “What is that? Are you perhaps hitting on me?”

You felt guilty at the misunderstanding of your actions. “N-no! I mean… I just felt l-like… we’ve met each other before. Like recently, but I couldn’t describe how it happened. That’s why I wanted to see you again, and I’m glad I did.”

Jeongyeon considered your reasoning. “It’s nice to meet you again, YN.” She then went beside and held your hand with her, much to your startleness. “Looks like they’re out there, huh. They may be waiting for us, come on.”

She doesn’t know why she chose to hold your hand, but her heart is somehow telling her that it fits around her and your touch felt so pleasant she would like to have it on repeat.

While walking together at the hallway, an idea popped in your head as you looked at your hands clasped at each other and her charming side-profile in view.

“Jeongyeon.”

“Yes?”

“About your question, if I think twice about it… would you mind me to have some more of this?.

She knew what you meant, conscious at your glances and that slight squeeze of your hand on hers. She just grinned and effortlessly hid her blush from you.

Back at your conversation with your therapist, she also followed up a message to give an advice for you in dealing with the anxiety of searching for that woman who then became the subject of your dreams.

("Whether unexpected or predicted, circumstances can 100% occur life, possibilities might be 50% each to happen positively or not, and if you get the 1% of chances for something that you believe is almost impossible to occur in reality, better take the rare opportunity quickly.”)

“There you are, YN…” Somin stopped when he saw what emerged from the distance and looked at the oblivious Jihyo and Nayeon. “S-she’s…?”

“We didn’t know she would follow us. I suppose she went to accompany us as well when she heard we were picking you guys up from the managers.”

As they returned from the group, they were touched and glad to see you both getting along already, especially Nayeon and Somin who were got proven as they remembered what they agreed upon and shared it to the rest.

(“No need. We’re neither telling it to each of them.” Nayeon suggested.

“W-why?”

Nayeon lured her gaze away and spoke.

“My guts is telling me that we’ll leave it up to them once they meet.”

“What makes you think that they’ll recognize each other?”

“Jeongyeon loves YN and so as his loyalty for her. Even if their mind forgets themselves, their heart won’t… and it can create a whole new beginning for them to finally settle their feelings.”)

#twice jeongyeon #jeongyeon #yoo jeongyeon #twice jeongyeon au #twice jeongyeon oneshot #twice jeongyeon fanfic #twice au #twice oneshot #twice fanfic #twice #kpop au #kpop oneshot #kpop fanfic #twice jeongyeon x reader #twice jeongyeon x male reader

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ask-post-ii17au-box · 5 months ago

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bow PLEASE tell us the tail story

Sure I can like do that!

Soooo after I died I didn’t immediately get to purgatory mansion, the details are like pretty blurry and all I remember is just a bunch of various green flashes and error notifications :p.

I know that seems like really random to bring up but trust me, it’s integral to what I figured out.

Anyways after that I woke up in the mansion, there’s no records of it existing before I died soooo I think Mephone automatically subconsciously made it as a error handler to correct whatever I broke with how he revives people or something :p

After that I was utterly bored out of my mind because my phone was outta battery and I hadn’t found the charger yet soooo I got to experimenting with my new ghost powers.

I had like a few years alone sooooo I figured out exactly the loophole I had got through:

Basically with how I died with mephone specifically broken it left me unable to be recovered by conventional means, the Meeple systems automatically bugged out with no idea of what exactly to do with me so it made the mansion.

But considering that’s a stipulation like I figured out that if you die at any point while Mephone 4’s recovery app is offline you’re considered “permanently dead” by the system, glitch out and like end up at the mansion!

Now this has a few properties that could have helped save everyone if that ball thingy hadn’t been shut off before I got a chance to do it.

All we had to exactly do was get all the contestants to die before whatever was like deleting the contestants got to them with Mephone 4 turned off and the recovery app inactive.

They’d have been all sent to the mansion immune from being deleted.

From there I figured out we could like transfer their data into robot bodies aka another loophole with how their creation worked exactly essentially like rendering them immune from the effects of being deleted or whatever.

Unfortunately everything like got unplugged before I could get to Mephone soooooo it’s too late now :p.

I have no idea if they’re fully deleted or not since I’m not a genius I just had enough time to figure stuff out of boredom.

So yea sorry I don’t like have the magical method of bringing everyone back.

Anyways as for me still being in Apple I think since the ball thingy got unplugged while I was in her it like confused the systems enough that it just rendered her “a important system file that’s unable to be deleted” and moved on.

And to tie up that loose end her mind survived too not just her body sooo you can like technically add her to the survivor list I guess.

I can’t give her back control or leave her body for some reason though so she’s unable to talk and like do anything else apart from think, watch me do stuff and mentally talk to me.

Since I can hear her I can relay what she says soooo you guys like can also ask apple stuff!

#ask blog #ask me anything #ii 17 #ii #ii 17 spoilers #inanimate insanity #object show community #osc #object shows #bot ii #lore drop

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cumulonimbuns · 2 years ago

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Excuse me a moment for TKSD, as I must scream.

(Pretend there's an 80 line long string of "AAAAAAHH" I don't want to actually fill up the dash with that much junk text)

I love it. Chef's kiss. Beautiful. Sidon my beloved. Link my beloved. Flying dragon breaking out of her mindless state my beloved. Mwah.

I feel it necessary that you are making my polyam partner very, very gooshy about the polyamourous society of Zora you've made. They've been having a rough time with so many "Yona jealous of link and sidon" and "Yona blocks off link from Sidon" shit, and you and the Secret Confessions To a Sage comic by @kenneduck have literally sent them to tears of the happiness of good, easy polyamoury. They've been very gooshy.

And I can't wait to see how Chapter 5 goes. The ending of chapter 4 was soo good, and I loved the entire story. The line in chapter 1 about how Link was a tool to use for the kingdom, not a person that can have desires Mmmmmmmm good shit angst. And the Whole Breakdown was so good and aaaa Link keeps fleeing. And Yona getting right under there and swooping Link out of there I love her. I love what you have done with her. Just. Aaaaah.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I’ll scream for you, no worries lol!

But seriously thanks so much!!!!

And towards your partner, I COMPLETELY understand. I remember finishing TOTK and excitedly running to ao3. Only to see some of the first fics with Yona was just hating on her, or turning her character into a really mean lady who you’re supposed to root against. There’s nothing wrong enjoying your gay ships, but maybe don’t vilify female characters only bc they ‘get in the way’? It reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of my time in the Sonic fandom (I’m still a part of that fandom, always, love that silly blue hedgehog <3), and ppl would do the same to Amy in a lot Sonadow fics. WHICH DROVE ME INSANE.

I will always believe the hc of: wingman Yona, supportive wife Yona, or Poly Yona. They’re all wonderful <3 Just have these bitches love each other. It’s way more fun. I know once I complete TKSD I’d rlly rlly like to write a fic about SidYonZeLink, polyamory relationships are very dear to me, and I love exploring how complicated yet wonderfully caring they can be.

BUT OMG, I ALSO LOVE KENNEDUCK!!!! The Secret Confessions comic is just *chef kiss* GLORIOUS! I’m almost POSITIVE all of ya’ll have seen/read it, but if not—YOU BETTER GO RIGHT NOW AND DO SO!!! Their Yona is also so so so wonderful, she is so soft, and she and Sidon are so soft together. I love it.

I’m excited and nervous for chapter 5! I know a lot of y’all really wanna get to Link, but it felt important to write about the Sage’s to set up a couple of future events. I meant for it to be fairly short and then have a larger section dedicated to when they find Link, but thats… not exactly what happened. Atm the doc is at an even 19k word count (dunno how i managed that), and i still have a decent amount of things to write, SO…. Yeah. A lot of this chapter is really just about the Sages and the Sage’s bonding. If that’s not what you want than you can obviously wait til chapter 6, which spoilers, will be Link’s pov and ONLY about his recovery.

Thanks so much for all your kind words!! I rlly appreciate it <3<3<3

I hope everyone has a lovely day and that you enjoy future chapters and future fics!!

#ask #tksd #the knight’s self-destruction

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thewhumpcaretaker · 8 months ago

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Would you agree that “survivors” are given too much leeway to write problematic works in the name of “processing” or whatever? I find myself wanting to tell these people “hey, I’m sorry that happened to you, but the tragic fact is it’s now too late to save your innocence, the important thing now is preventing you from continuing the cycle of abuse and destroying innocence that still exists in the world.” We need to be tougher on “survivors” in fact, if someone is perpetuating the same evil in fiction they have NOT survived, they’re just a victim looking to become a victimizer instead. Thoughts?

CW: discussion of the ethics of writing SA

I have mixed thoughts on this. On the one hand, your basic point is something I totally agree with - in my opinion, being a survivor does not give anyone leeway to write things that sexualize what happened. A work that’s wrong to write is a work that’s wrong to write, and it doesn’t really matter whether or not the author experienced the content. Personal experience only determines whether the work is authentic representation - for example, it’s important for things like making sure stories of SA recovery are portrayed by those who have actually gone through those things and can talk about them accurately. But when something shouldn’t be represented in the first place (like graphic, sexualized depictions of SA), it doesn’t really matter who’s representing it.

On the other hand, there’s some language here that I want to be really careful about. For example, the idea that “it’s too late to save your innocence” after SA is just not true in my opinion. SA itself does not take innocence from the survivor, it takes innocence from the perpetrator. A person doesn’t become an unethical author automatically from what happened to them. It may have contributed to SA related thoughts, but to portray those thoughts in a sexualized way is a totally separate choice. We all have a choice about what we do and can change what we do at any time. SA survivors are survivors, and they are responsible for what they do - both can be true at once. Finally, it’s never too late to start thinking about how to NOT victimize others. Rather than being tougher on these people (while I understand that impulse and it gets the best of me sometimes), I think it’s important to explain our ethical reasoning if we have the mental space to do so, and assume they can reflect on their mistakes and do better. It’s mentally taxing though sooooo don’t engage with that if you’re not in a place to talk about it. I rarely am - as usual, I can’t promise I’ll answer every ask on this topic.

#// sa mention #ethics in whump

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why-bless-your-heart · 1 year ago

Text

Who wants to beta-read a short story?

Sailor’s Lament

The melody of this folk song is traditionally ascribed to a crewmember on board the West, a 2675 ship that was discovered in 2681 with the bodies of its five crew and missing the body of its captain. Lyrics vary, but the following is the most common version.

Captain took a walk just yesterday, But the rest of us in this ship are bound to stay. And the stars might be lovely, but they’re cold, Chasing sunset in another sky, you will never grow old, Chasing sunset in another sky, you will never grow old.

Wish I’d listened to my mother when she said, ‘Ships are full of just the waiting dead.’ Because now the air is poison, and I can’t think anymore, It’s been sixty-seven days since we left shore.

“Hey, Zakai!” Gi leaned back in his pilot’s chair, eyes disappearing into a grin that showed off his missing teeth. “Come to see where the magic happens?”

“Looking for my dad, actually.”

“He’ll be here in a minute.” Gi waved a hand encouragingly. “You can wait with me.”

“Thanks.” Zakai leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen how it works in here,” he said, to fill the silence.

“Oh yeah, it’s actually really simple. See, here—“ Gi pointed to one screen, “That’s our origin point. And there—“ he pointed to another, “That’s our destination. Then this right here—“ he patted the console in front of his chair, “This is the important part. This controls the stitching mechanism. Lets me pull that—” the first screen — “and that—” the second screen — “together, so I can put a stitch between the two. Then instead of having to travel the whole fabric of space, we only have to travel the length of the stitch. Simple.” He grinned again. “Not easy. There’s so many ways to mess it up and kill us all that it’s easier to count the ways we don’t all die.” He paused expectantly, and Zakai dutifully delivered the set-up.

“How many ways is that?”

“One. Good ship, good crew, good directions, good follow-through, good plans, good luck, have them all, or else you’re—”

Captain Cherhart stepped through the doorway, and Gi cleared his throat. “Well, you get the idea,” he told Zakai, turning back to his console. “Everything proceeding according to schedule, Captain.”

“Good.” Captain Cherhart nodded at Zakai and sat down next to Gi.

Zakai started to leave, but the captain’s voice stopped him in the doorway. “Zakai, hold it.” Captain Cherhart leaned forward, tapping on the screen. “Gi, is that what I think it is?”

Gi’s fingers flew across the controls, and then he looked up. “Captain, it’s the West.”

“What?” Zakai asked.

“It’s a ship that went missing six years back,” Captain Cherhart told him, standing up. He clapped a hand on Gi’s shoulder. “Set course to intercept.”

Gi nodded.

“Open a channel to the crew.”

“Channel open.”

Captain Cherhart cleared his throat. “Crew, meet me in the ready room in fifteen.” He looked at Gi. “We’ll have made intercept by then?”

Gi flicked a final switch. “Easily, Captain.”

"See we do." The captain waved Zakai out of the door. "If you see anyone on the way down, let them know what's happening."

It was a small crew, all told. Captain and pilot, two engineers and three hands. It was a small ship too, though. Five people in the ready room felt plenty full, especially as Zakai tried to answer as many questions as he could.

After a while, Captain Cherhart walked in. He answered a few more questions, then explained that they were intercepting with a derelict and they were taking on a recovery mission. “Gi's with me on navigation. Jerrit, Doyle, Zakai, you’ll be the away team. Nacky, Ellis, you’re support.”

He looked over his crew. “I want this by the numbers. Away team, you don’t loosen your tethers for anything. Get in, pull the data and bring back any bodies. Support team, the minute anything starts to look the tiniest bit funny, you pull them out. Don’t you dare wait to see if it’s anything actually serious. Got me?”

“Got you,” everyone answered in chorus. Cherhart nodded and left.

Everyone scattered to prepare for their assigned roles.

Jerrit pulled on his gloves. “I just hope that this isn’t a Challenger-type situation.”

“What’s that?” Zakai asked.

Jerrit exchanged a look with Doyle. “It was a ship,” he said, “About fifty, sixty years back now.”

“Unlucky name for a start,” Doyle chimed in.

“That’s right. Anyway, it was headed out on a routine supply run. Same route it’d done a dozen times before, empty hold, nothing that should’ve gone wrong. Then home base gets a message.”

“I can quote it by heart,” Doyle added. “All officers dead on bridge including captain. Possibly whole crew dead."

Jerrit nodded. “The Serendipity was a passenger ship nearby so they detoured to provide aid. Before they could get there though, they received a second message. Just two words. “I die.””

Zakai shuddered.

“When the Serendipity got there,” Doyle said, his voice hushed, “They sent three crew over. Standard procedure, full suits.”

“The cameras were on a direct link back to the ship.” Jerrit tapped the camera on his own shoulder to demonstrate. “The crew was scattered throughout, all dead. No marks on the bodies, but every single one was twisted with outstretched arms, like they’d been trying to fight someone — or something — off.” He leaned in close to Zakai, his voice almost a whisper. “Before the crew could return to the ship, the cameras cut out. The Serendipity tried to reestablish a connection, tried to get their men back, but it was too late. The last signal anyone ever received —”

“YOU DIE!” Doyle yelled in a harsh, guttural tone, grabbing Zakai from the back.

Zakai yelped, then felt his face flush red as Jerrit and Doyle doubled over laughing. “That’s not funny,” he complained, but Jerrit and Doyle just laughed harder, imitating his yelp and jump.

Feeling hot and embarrassed, Zakai continued to strap on his suit.

Nacky and Ellis came into the room, and Jerrit retold the event for their benefit, Doyle standing in as Zakai and jumping into a starfish position with a little-girl scream at the final punchline. Ellis laughed, but Nacky shook her head.

“Leave the boy be,” she said in her deep, rich accent, “It’s not nice to tease the little ones.”

Jerrit shrugged and turned away.

Zakai shot Nacky a grateful look, and she smiled and winked at him. Feeling his heart beat faster, Zakai ducked his head and focused on tightening his suit buckles.

Nacky had long hair that she kept in small, tight dreadlocks, and a warm laugh that made Zakai want to fall down at her feet. Jerrit was obviously crazy about her, but when Zakai had asked about it he’d just gotten smacked over the back of his head. “Not on board,” Jerrit had told him, “Never on board.”

Doyle knocked Zakai on the shoulder with a helmet, and Zakai accepted it from him. One, two, three, four locks. Check the airflow. Green light. Thumbs up. Last four locks. Check the radio. "Test, test." "Check, check." Thumbs up.

Captain Cherhart came back in to do the final round of checks, the way he always did. Thump and tug each potential point of failure with a final blow to the helmet for good luck. Satisfied, he stood in front of his away crew, taking Nacky's radio so they could hear his voice in their ears. "Find out what you can. Stay safe." He handed the radio back to Nacky and they all gave him a final thumbs-up before filing into the airlock as Ellis started the cycle.

They clipped their tethers to the line. That is, it was called a line, but it was really more of a flexible rod. Jerrit took the lead, Zakai in the middle, and Doyle behind. The airlock opened and they started to cross. Pulling themselves slowly, carefully, hand over hand, they climbed up away from the ship and then lowered themselves back down to the West.

The feel of gravity changing its mind made Zakai's stomach turn, and he was too focused on not throwing up in his helmet to notice how Jerrit managed to get the West's airlock open. He was able to focus again once his feet were on the deck.

It was strange to stand on the deck of a ship that wasn't humming. It made the inside of Zakai's helmet feel quieter than quiet. Emergency lighting, red and dull, added to the close, claustrophobic feel.

Jerrit signaled that he was going to unclip his tether and Zakai nodded. Crouching, he wrapped both arms around Jerrit's waist. Even without power a ships' gravity would work, but by the numbers was by the numbers. With a single smooth movement Jerrit moved his anchor to the West's lockpoint. He tugged on it hard, then pounded Zakai's shoulder twice. Safe to let go. Zakai signaled that he was ready and Doyle grabbed on to him while Jerrit made the switch. Then Jerrit stepped past and held on to Doyle while he moved his own tether.

"Home," Jerrit radioed, "Transfer made safely. Battery power appears to be on. Continuing into the main body."

"Copy."

It was hard to hear much of anything through the helmets, but the servos of the airlock were still old enough to put Zakai's teeth on edge.

They stepped through the airlock into the West's ready room. Jerrit waved the others forward and they followed him, playing out their tethers. Through the ready room and into the dim main corridor.

Zakai realized he had been holding his breath and let it out.

So far it looked like a ship. An older ship, yes, and dimly lit, but a regular ship. No gaping holes, no sucking vacuum, no radioactive slump.

“What do you think happened?” Neither Jerrit or Doyle said anything, and Zakai asked again, louder. Still no response, and he waved his hand to get their attention. Doyle looked at him quizzically through the face shield, then tapped his helmet.

Feeling his cheeks flush, Zakai pressed the button to turn on his radio, on the away channel. He asked the question again.

"Engine failure, if I had to guess," Jerrit radioed back. "Air's here, but it's poison."

"Escape pods are still on deck," Doyle's radio interrupted. "Couldn't have been slow like that, or they'd have bailed."

"Black box will tell us." Jerrit checked his screen, then pointed up ahead. That was where the bridge would be. Careful to keep their tethers from tangling, Zakai and Doyle followed him, one on either side of the corridor.

Zakai's foot caught on something and he tripped. He fell to the floor hard. Doyle and Jerrit turned to see, as Zakai pulled himself up to a sitting position, switching on his light.

He looked at what he had tripped over.

"Doyle, Jerrit," Zakai radioed, his voice trembling slightly, "I... I think it’s one of the crew.”Jerrit kneeled next to him, a steadying hand on Zakai’s shoulder. The body was huddled over, as if for warmth.

It was the first dead body Zakai had ever seen, and he fought down the rising nausea as Jerrit investigated.

“It looks like he died of natural causes. Just laid down and never got up.” Jerrit waved Doyle over. “The manifest says there were six total. Since the ship's intact they probably had time to move around.”

Zakai shuddered at the thought of those still, black skeletons with them onboard.

Doyle was already pulling a plastic bag out of his kit. With quick, deft movements he and Jerrit enveloped the tragic bundle, sealing it away from view. When they rolled it away it left a dark stain behind that Zakai tried not to think about.

Jerrit radioed back to the ship. “Home, we’ve got one deceased recovered, please advise.”

There was a moment of silence, then Nacky’s voice crackled through. “Captain says continue advance if safe to do so. Do not remove helmets. Quarantine room being prepared.”

Doyle swore something muffled through the helmet. “He’s going to want us to carry them all back,” he said, on the away team’s channel. Then he clicked back on to the home channel. “Received. We’ll keep you updated.”

"Bridge is just a turn away," Jerrit told them. "You got the burn kit, Doyle?"

"You think we'll be locked out?"

Jerrit shrugged expressively. "Didn't die where they stood. Either bridge couldn't work or they couldn't get to it."

"One way to find out."

Sure enough, before long Doyle bent over the bridge's door, cutting through the thick metal. The pieces fell away and they stepped into the lifeless bridge. Empty, dark, and ordinary. A blinking green light showed the black box, and Jerrit pulled it out of the console, tucking it into Zakai's kit. There was nothing else to find, and Jerrit waved them back out into the corridor. "Home, data retreived," he radioed, and then to the others, "Let's get to work."

In school Zakai had been made to learn the decatime system, and there were a lot of people who argued that it made a lot more sense to use that in space instead of the antiquated base-sixty earth-style system. Nobody ever really made the switch though, so it took them the best part of several hours to locate, wrap, transport, and stow five bodies. They never found the sixth one.

Later Zakai would try to explain to himself that he had been tired, and nerve-wracked, and sore. It was just an excuse. What he had been was selfish and bratty.

Captain Cherhart sat down for dinner at six o'clock on the dot every twenty-four hours. It wasn't strictly mandatory to join him, but everyone did. It usually turned into an informal discussion of the day's events, part debriefing, part strategizing. Predictably, the topic of discussion was the West and the recovered bodies. The conversations dragged on, circling interminably around the same subject. What would have happened, what wouldn't have happened. What should be done with them, what could be done with them.

Zakai scowled down at his plate, pushing the protein mush into different piles. “I don’t see why it matters so much,” he said, to everybody and nobody. “It’s not like we can make any difference. They’re dead.”

Everyone stopped talking.

Captain Cherhart looked at Zakai for a long time. His voice was low when he finally spoke. “That’s why it matters.”

Deliberately, he pushed aside his plate and leaned forward on the table, clasping his hands. “They’re dead, and we’re alive. For now. One day, we’re going to die too.” He looked around the table. “Maybe not out here. Maybe not for a long time. But someday, and if we want to be able to trust that people will care, that means we have to care. All of us have to care, every time. That’s the promise our species makes to the dead. That we’ll care.”

Nobody said anything.

Captain Cherhart looked at his hands. “You know,” he said, “Lots of animals understand death. Some of them even have funerals.

"Feeling sad about death, that doesn’t really mean anything. What matters is that we keep promises to the dead. That’s what makes us any different, and if they’re right about there being other intelligent life out there, that’s the kind of thing we’re going to have to prove.

"We’re going to have to prove that we’re promise-keepers.”

The silence stretched out uncomfortably long before the captain finally stood.

“Gi, we’ve got permission to take that alternate route. After you’ve finished eating, we’ll start plugging it in. If our luck holds, we’ll be making landfall on our original schedule.”

Gi nodded, and Captain Cherhart left. Everyone finished their meals without another word. His face burning, Zakai forced himself to eat slowly, waiting until he was the only one left at the table.

When he left the galley, Gi was waiting for him in the hall.

“What?” Zakai snapped, suddenly angry. The last thing he wanted was a lecture.

“You’re fine,” Gi said quickly. “I get what you meant, just that you didn’t want us falling behind if we don’t have to. I get it.”

Zakai felt the anger die out as quickly as it had flared up, replaced by shame. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

Gi reached up and put a hand on Zakai’s shoulder. “Look,” he told him, “You’re learning. And when somebody’s learning, that means that everyone else gets reminded. Your dad’s a good captain, back there, that wasn’t a scolding. Okay? It was you learning and us being reminded. Nobody’s going to hold it against you.”

“Thanks,” Zakai said again, and slumped against the wall. “I can’t believe what a jerk I sounded like.”

“Hey, we’ve all been there.” Gi looked down the hallway. “Look, I’ve already done most of the calculations, so we should be finished plugging in that new route in fifteen minutes or so. Once that’s done, how about you go and talk to your dad, okay? It’s too small a ship for things to be awkward between you.”

“Okay.”

Gi smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes before he turned and headed towards the navigation compartment.

Sitting down, Zakai waited. Finally, Gi came back out and nodded at him before heading off towards his bunk.

Taking a deep breath, Zakai stood up and walked down the hall. Reaching the end, he hesitated for just a second, then stepped in, closing the door behind him.

“Dad,” he said, “I’m sorry.”

The captain didn’t turn around.

“I’m sorry,” Zakai said again. “I should’ve... I was going to say that I should have known how important this whole thing was, how much it matters, but I did, and I don’t know why I was pretending that I didn’t. You were right, and I knew you were right, and I should’ve never tried to say otherwise.” He took a deep breath. “Do you forgive me?”

Captain Cherhart turned the pilot’s chair towards Zakai without looking at him. “Take a seat,” he said.

Zakai obeyed.

Cherhart pulled up his data files on the console and scrubbed through one of them, an audio file. “I want you to listen to this,” he said, pressing play.

A thin, soft melody filtered through, cracking from a hoarse throat. It was a low and slow song, sweet and simple. It wasn’t anything Zakai had heard before, but somehow it still sounded familiar. Like a lullaby.

The singer finished, then went back to the beginning, one, two, three times before Cherhart turned it off and they sat in silence together.

“It’s a nice song,” Zakai finally said.

“It’s beautiful.” Cherhart sat back. “I don’t know if he wrote it himself or if it was something he brought from home, but it comforted him. So he sang it. And now he’s gone, but we have his song.”

Zakai thought about that for a while. Finally he asked, “Do we know what happened yet?”

“I got the report about an hour ago. They were able to identify the bodies from the data and records we sent, the only one missing was the captain.”

Zakai nodded. “That must be why everything was locked down. Without his access codes, they didn’t really have a choice.”

Cherhart sighed. “That’s right. I can’t tell if he walked out first, and that’s how they got lost, or if he realized that they were lost and walked out instead of waiting to see what was going to run out first.”

“That’s awful.”

“He was a coward.” Captain Cherhart sounded angry, and Zakai looked at him, surprised. “I don’t care which one it was. No matter how bad it gets, you make a promise to the ship, the crew, everyone back home you leave behind and everyone at the destination you’re going to meet. You don’t get to walk out on that. Ever.”

“Because it matters.”

His dad looked back at him and smiled. “That’s right, son,” he said softly. “It matters.”

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