#and now they have so much love for somebody who can't hold it anymore for them

[gazeofseer]

🩵 Wⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ Sᵒˡᵃᶜᵉ ❄️

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

'Life has been quite weary, and I had so much to share the shed of my spirit, but not has a flush of storm but more like a divine solstice trance between the seasons, the sun during winter warm yet deeply cold and engaging with from my bones, wish someone heard me, rather than saying anything to me, if not all these things what can I feel is a lie? Or Life itself?'

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Pick a Pile of guidance for your soul (;

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'Confusion is the only clarity, I have right now all the people around me feels perfectly fine and fit to whatever they get and give, while I am still at a thought why would somebody do that to me? What did I lack exactly to be ostracized by the living society? Why can't have emotions, why, and exactly why..?

The rage seems quite resilience but that does not mean you are not burning within, like the depth of the blue flames underneath the ocean you exist in this world with your utmost compassion, when one fails as a human they fail to be anything further, but who defined that part? Too many questions is juggling all the answers you have received so far but deep down you know what is yours and what is not.

Still letting go all at a pace seems like a game of pull and push where you may fumble off everything from your hands.

But isn't that beautiful to realise what you were holding was an mere idea and not an entire reality to that?

Be it people, be it a thing, its limitation is end to what they can reap here with you on this surface so let things be, is how you let go, let happiness be happy, let sorrow sorrow itself, sink with this reality where truth prevails, even beyond the thickest curtains that has been shed and covered.

Winter Season Guidance & Blessings );

- Aquarius, Gemini and Saggitarus in big three you may feel all your life so far has been somewhat gloomy or questionable of which you have no answer to this following season you will have a major breakdown which will begin. Pilling up as small conflicts, chaos and confrontation throughout the November.

- One thing you have to do is break your ego, you have this subtle of it where you do not show off but keep it as a fake guard so merely people don't bother you but it has been blocked your sense of living entirely where every choice you make seems wrong and regretful and every other action becomes a repent.

- Blessings, that follow through is protection timely guidance on your journey as long you are on a receiving edge then on a push away where you will suddenly realise even if you feel horrible within yourself people are there who are kind, loving and will reflect exactly what you are meant to feel within.

Signs : You are on your own kid by Taylor Swift, ring lover, six fingers, mole on feet or behind neck. Ground, Shed and drive through the chaos towards peace.

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'Enduring life as if it's a badge that I have to carry and show so that don't bring the worst at my table so never left the idea of being the best in the room even if I was clumsy I slammed disciplines out of passive aggression which failed my scores to repeat the same mistakes, again and again nobody is a problem but I am, at least that's how I feel.. because I don't care about what others think..but do they even think that I exist too? That never being the one or the last hurts like the middle child who neither belongs to dad or not to the mother? Like a lost and found thought I carry myself like a baggage full of grief barely smiling at lies anymore choosing to cry over the truth as better as I feel'

You have a special message from your soul ancestors, who could be you or from your tribe ;

- It's not your first time here you have 8 as prominent number and Saturn's 8 influence you may be attracted towards infinity sign if not all these you find these strange connection with things but that may not resonate like you have not much with moon but there is something keeps your drawn towards it.

- Your ancestors by soul are people who are waiting for you as an reward after you complete certain set of karmic cycles and journey throughout the age of 23 to 25 of you have passed then these are the years, you may even heard death or something illness or fatigue around you.

- The place you work/study at seems toxic enough to bloat or drain your energy you are being asked to wear some solid protection crystal or evil eye or carry some iron nails or tie a black knot thread on neck or wrist.

- They are here to assure your present self that you may feel what's the point of living tomorrow if all I have to do is die today, what if I not only survive the bests within me and reach my success as somebody in a worst state keeps you worried but take this as a release then stroke attested nothing is final unless you decide it is.

Signs : Mess it up by Gracie Abrams, Capricorn, Venus earth sign, saturn rings, introvert, queer, cynical and thinking throughout the sleep.

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'Wish, world was a kind place so that violence would have not been the way to attain, chaos would have not reaped peace, and sorrows would have not be awarded with the happiness, the constant sell and buy has consumed my heart enough to think where did I wet less by to be who am I ? What if I love myself? And still not chosen to give? Would I be mean judged and hated for? Can't I choose myself for one fucking time? Oh that foulness in my soul speaks so does this make me impure? Why can't I just live

Your soulmate has a say (;

- You had quite relations based on intent of compassion and comfort so whenever there was change it went a bit into the hands of confusion, enclosures and uncomfortable for you where you stood for the sick unless you become one and they all left one by one.

- You kept losing people because they were your soulmates reflecting you on different level even if they were opposite on the surface.

- You attract elderly people, be it a woman, men you have this demure and mature gaze that pulls people with intellect finding you adorable but it turns them off when you get pissed off and a cute mess which can't be controlled.

- Your soulmate assures you to carry on this journey you are on the right path, growing greys recently in your hair? Something about white, off whites and lighter greys are sign also the cardigan.

- Stop, finding a end to your love let it expand with you wherever you go, is how you will meet me.

Signs : Daydreaming, Lucky Girl, Pearls, Water Signs, Air signs, Stars, Night Lovers, His name starts from E, W, A and S. He is a random person who will enter by or during Christmas by this or next year's, avoid any red or yellow color his favourite colour is white.

.

Hope this reading reached the parts it was meant to !! ❄️🩵

[beanghostprincess]

The heartbreaking thing about Yamace isn't really Yamato not being able to do anything about Ace's death, helpless and on his knees, and realizing he couldn't be free yet. Or Ace dying realizing he wasn't able to keep his promise. But the fact that it was the first time Yamato had ever felt real love and he will never be able to feel that again, his love for Ace remaining still forever because everything stopped that day for them. Ace gave him the gift of feeling so much love in one single night and Yamato spent years without being able to do anything with it.

[chosokamosbf]

𝕳𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖞 𝕬𝖈𝖈𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘.

☆ 18+ only/no minors. | dick grayson x male! reader.

SUMMARY: a nsft fic about the daddy kink dick was trying to hide accidentally slipping in mid-session with his partner. WARNINGs: 18+, dom! male! reader, sub! dick, (accidental) daddy kink, anal, (minor, on dick's end) anxiety. WORD COUNT: 700+ NOTEs: second person & no plot. this insert is more "cocky" personality wise. [no terms and no pronouns used to refer to the insert/reader.]

"Fuck, you sound so pretty, songbird." He isn't given much of a chance to respond, as every thought that could be keeps going hazy with each stroke from the slow, precise pace between his legs. Moans cascade through the room with every thrust of your hips against his.

But, through his own desperation, he manages to mumble out, "Sh–shut up."

All bite is replaced by laughter, wrecked by a lack of air. A quiet, choked noise that reverberates off the walls with the sound of skin on skin.

His legs are wrapped around your waist, fingers tangled in hair, while the other is barely holding back from drawing its nails down over your back. The embrace is slick from the sweat enveloping the both of you, the palm of Dick's hand gently massaging the back of your neck. Kisses through panted breath trail across the jaw to the side of your face before broken groans reach your ear just as easily as the creaking of the bed.

You move a hand down to his ass and start pulling him into you a little with each stroke. The flurry of sensations added by the new pressure has Dick reeling back into the mattress, done even bothering to hold himself up anymore, just for you to lay your full weight on him.

You grip him a little tighter, and he meets you with a kiss, as gentle as he can with the unintentional bumping of teeth, to match. Your tongue pushes and slides over his, eliciting more.

It's only getting deeper, and he takes every inch while pinned down without complaint. For once, memories buried deep into the corners of his constant, racing thoughts aren't taking the forefront of the situation—ruining it all, and now his head altogether is getting fuzzier by the second under the heft and size of the one fucking into his messy hole.

His breath grows heavier as he moans your name.

Fucking into him, giving him everything, with your hand reaching down to grip his hip to pull him up into each downward thrust, he can't think of anything but the truth when you finally speak up again, "You love this dick?" 

It comes easily: "Daddyy—feels so fuc–so fucking good, please don’t stop."

It's hard to hear the scoff through his own heavy breathing. "You forget who’s fucking you?"

Much to his dismay, you slow into deep strokes, curling yourself over him and snaking your hand under his jaw to pull his face up and hear him more clearly. Your voice is right next to his ear.

"What did you just call me?"

Truthfully, he isn't even sure what you're talking about. The things that come out of his mouth when you're on top are not conscious. Most of the time, he just ends up embarrassing himself with the incoherent whines forced out despite any reassurance given. The hell did he say? Oh shit, did he use somebody else’s name? He wouldn’t do that—no, it couldn’t have been that, so what the fuck did he say?

You roll over into Dick's again, keeping in place to pound at that tender area in deep that gets him to whimper. Like clockwork, the word is knocked loose again.

"Daddy—"

In an instant, the pure terror draws in, and he's finally thinking with his actual head again.

His daddy kink is a dirty little secret better left in the dark (in his professional opinion.) So, he's never mentioned it—how he'd refer to you as that when he'd touch himself, all alone and hushed, mewling it to the image of you he'd conjure up in his head to push himself over the edge.

A title he knows holds too much weight—something he's definitely going to be judged for. And so, he's quick to apologize.

"Huh? Noooo… shit, sorry." Your chest gets pressed up against his, and then he's burying his face into your shoulder to close the rest of the space, his arms coming around over your back to feel the warmth he just might lose. "I'm so—sorry, I didn't—just—I love you—"

"It's okay." It's said so softly that it almost slipped by without notice. His heartbeat stops its rapid spike while you go on, and he can breathe.

"Say it again."

[steviewashere]

Late night fic idea that I'm definitely going to try and write at some point!!

Definitely very angsty. Steve's got bad parents. A few arguments. And Steve basically restarting his adult life. But it would definitely have a happy ending! Walk with me here.

In early 1987, Steve gets into a nasty argument with his parents. About how much of a disappointment he is, how he can't hold a good enough job, that he's just not who they wanted him to be. They tell him, pretty loudly, that if he can't grow up, then he needs to get out.

He, of course, is very upset by the result of this argument. Because he's trying his damn hardest at this whole adult thing. He's trying his damn hardest to be the person everybody wants him to be; the older brother, the best friend, the boyfriend—the good guy. Yet, even though he's completely emotionally devastated, he still goes to Eddie's because they have a date.

He's not very attentive during the date. Ignoring Eddie's comments sometimes. Giving half answers. And Eddie takes it the opposite of something wrong with Steve—no, he thinks there's something wrong with him. They end up having their own nasty, explosive argument. One that ends with Eddie muttering something along the lines of, "God, I hate you so much right now." He doesn't mean it, knows he doesn't mean it because it's too easy to just say a bullshit claim than talk it all out, hash it out as it is, figure out the root of the problem. However, Steve doesn't know this. Steve thinks Eddie means it.

Thinks that Eddie's just been putting on this interested facade to save Steve's lonely, battered heart. That maybe the novelty of their relationship ran out a long time ago. Eddie's just now telling it as it is; the same way Nancy had. A bullshit relationship, one that never meant anything. (And similar to Nancy, they don't really mean it. It's all just moment of passion stuff).

Steve leaves Eddie's. Leaves with his heart dropped out of him, wet and dead on Eddie's carpet. He leaves with bile in the back of his throat, eyes that ache, a head that's too messy to sort through. And then, the only idea that becomes clear to him: he has to get out.

Get out of Hawkins.

Because if Eddie was thinking something like that all along, who else has been thinking the same thing? Dustin? Max? Robin?

He goes to work. Submits a letter of resignation. Gives the courtesy of two more weeks. And then...

He packs all that he thinks he needs in a couple bags: a backpack and a duffel bag. He sells his car, the only money he now has to his name, plus whatever his last Family Video paycheck is. Steve gets on the closest bus, one that'll take him to a shuttle, and he takes a train out of Indiana.

Goes west. Goes to a shitty neighborhood in Sacramento, as far as he can get. He got the transfer request sent over to a Family Video here, he'll start there soon. He stays in a hotel for a couple nights, a couple nights before he finds a last minute lease for a shitty apartment.

And he just stays there. Stays in Sacramento.

He calls Robin's house once on a payphone, that way he can't be tracked. Robin's not home when he calls. He gives a message to her mom: "Tell Robin that I'm sorry. And...and that I love"—he'd sigh—"Yeah. Yeah, just tell her that I'm sorry, please. I did what I had to." He hangs up, doesn't give another way for him to be contacted and he moves on.

Some years pass. He hasn't been taking care of himself all that well, it's noticeable in how he looks. Scraggly facial hair, heavy eyes, lanky and skinny body, he's mowed down most of his hair. Just looks like an imposter in his own skin. He's working a different dead-end retail job—some supermarket, one that's owned by a corporation, he's one in thousands; somebody not cared for. His social life is nothing. He's weird around other people, weird in general; trauma that's been left unsolved, nightmares that keep him awake (so his neighbors now have a vendetta against him), stares too hard, doesn't like to talk anymore. He's hollow. A man who nobody knows, no connotations, no stupid hierarchies or nicknames attached to him. He's just Steve Harrington, some guy.

Yet, in the time he's been there, he takes up a few hobbies. Ones that work well with his secluded lifestyle. He picks up painting and photography. Things he never thought he'd be interested in. But...but he gets too bored, so he tries.

Finds out that he's good. Finds out that he's good enough for his own small studio space. For a small exhibit in the local art museum. And there, on the floor of his exhibit, idling between people who want to know more about the guy that keeps showing up in his paintings: brown eyes and pink mouth and smiles that are too big for his face; and the woman: a bob with bangs, crystal blue eyes, and a kindness that shows in her soft smiles; it's there that he sees an all too familiar face.

Eddie meets his eyes. Older, grown into his body, same brown eyes, same long curly hair. And there's a sheen of tears in his stare. A recognition he never thought he'd receive.

And there's silence. People passing them by.

Until, when the exhibit is empty except for them, Steve can only muster a simple, "Hey." And a smile, something thin that doesn't feel very real. Didn't want to be found, not yet. But in the paintings, he's been dreaming; he's been searching.

From the entryway of another exhibit, one that connects to Steve's, Robin appears. She's got that '90s pixie. And cherry stained lips. Grunge eyeshadow and an ill fitting, hole-riddled t-shirt that Steve slowly realizes is one he wore; those red Converse from Scoops, faded black Sharpie, but the only text that's still dark (as if it's been written over and over) is one he put there: "Dingus was here". She doesn't even speak. Only knows. Tripping over her own feet, dashing across the waxed floor, sliding across it with clumsy limbs. Crashing straight into Steve, hefting him up in her arms, squeezing him so tight he can't breathe.

When she places him back down on the ground, standing side by side with Eddie, the two of them simply staring at him in awe and relief, Eddie finally speaks for the two of them.

He fucking speaks. His voice is dripping with relief, yearning rich and honey-sweet in the vowels. Words full of love that's been stirring slow like a stew in his heart, thick and clogging.

"There you are, sweetheart. There you are."

[teencopandthesourwolf]

He freezes. Doesn't know what the hell else to do. 

He can't picture it: Derek can't remember the last time somebody put their arms around him. 

Was it Laura?

Of course it was Laura. How could he forget that? Derek has gotten pretty good at blocking things out—a little too good, it seems.

She didn't tell him anything before leaving New York. Didn't say a fucking word, just up and vanished. Derek had woken up one morning and she was gone, because she'd known without a shadow of a doubt that Derek would've only followed her if she'd have said a single word to him.

Nobody ever granted Derek’s wishes, no matter who he prayed to. Those desperate pleas where he asked to go back and get a chance to fix things, they all went unheard.

Laura left to go back to the place they both wished still existed just as it had; a place they were wanted alive, not dead. It wasn't fair that it was the very same place they would be hunted down if they did return, like the rabid animals the Argent's presumed they were.

Leaving the way they did meant they hadn't gotten the chance to see if anything was left at the house. They couldn't even mark graves, and grieve properly. 

That same place also happened to be the place they'd been born, the place they'd grown up and called home.

Derek had never wanted Laura to face all of that alone.

The burnt down house. The nothing where there was once everything.

The thought still haunts him. One of so many. 

Beacon Hills is home—but it's the home Derek had helped raze to the ground with his selfishness and stupidity. Everything he and Laura had ever known, everyone they'd ever loved, it was all gone, now. Derek had taken those things away from his sister and hadn't even had the guts to tell her. Tell Laura they were all gone because of him, tell her that everything that had happened to their family, to them, was all his fault.

In the aftermath of the fire Laura hugged Derek, and had kept hugging him, over and over in those weeks and months and years that followed. She would pull him into her arms hold him tight, whenever she could sense it was all getting to be too much for him again.

Alpha.

Big sister.

But Laura only knew about some of the reasons why it sometimes felt like too much effort for Derek to keep on breathing.

He never told her about Kate.

And Derek, the fucking coward, he'd allowed Laura to hold him, feeling the flames of shame on his cheeks every time, hot as those that took the lives of his parents. His family. His pack. 

Now, he remembers that last time. 

“I'm going out.” 

Laura stood up, walked around the two mismatched armchairs and stopped him by throwing both her arms around his neck, pulling him into her and hugging him, scenting him. 

It always took him a moment to respond these days, but Derek hugged her back. 

“What's this for?”

“You. Because I know whomever's bed you end up in tonight, you won't be asking for one of these.”

Oh, fuck no. Derek couldn't handle that. Did she think he was out sleeping with people? Never again, not after…

He pushed his sister off him, gently; a stark contrast to the harsh words that followed. 

“Don't fucking coddle me. And fuck you, Laura—I don't sleep in anybody's bed but my own.” A single mattress on the floor of the lounge of their shitty one bedroom apartment. Derek had so many shameful memories, and crawling into his sister's bed every night for the first year after the fire was one of them. “Just—leave me alone.”

Laura was the one—the only—person Derek had left in the entire world, yet his guilt was constantly pushing her away. 

“Where do you go to, little brother? You might not be clinging to me anymore, night after night, nightmare after nightmare, but you're rarely in your own bed most mornings.”

She hadn't meant it as a dig. Derek knew that. She was his sister, and she loved him.

Maybe she thought he was making progress? Seeing people. Moving on.

Derek spent his nights waiting outside of dive bars, and hanging around in back alleys and dark places, desperate to find scumbags to taunt who were big enough and hard enough to at least attempt to kick the living shit out of him.

Derek hated being a werewolf, now. He wanted to get hurt and stay hurt.

“Just—out.”

Then Derek turned his back on Laura, leaving her to stand there and watch him walk away as he left her to go out looking for a fight, without looking back. 

That was the last time somebody put their arms around Derek—and the last time he saw his sister alive.

It was two years ago. Derek doesn’t think he has taken a full breath, since. 

Now here he is—standing in his stupid big loft that he bought for his betas, yet another pack he managed to destroy—having given away more than he should, with skinny yet strong arms wrapping as far around his shoulders as they'll reach. 

Stiles.

“You don't have to hug back. But you can, if you want to. I won't tell,” the kid jokes. It's his way to connect, his connection to the world. A coping mechanism, Derek thinks.

He knows all about those.

“I…” he doesn't have the first fucking clue of how to handle this. Or how to admit he needs it—to himself, let alone somebody else. He doesn't know how to admit that he wants it. 

But this is Stiles. The one person in Derek's life who seems, for some unfathomable reason, to give a fuck about Derek. To care about him.

Slowly, very slowly, Derek lifts an arm and awkwardly rests a hand on Stiles's upper back, feels the muscles jump slightly under the kid's baggy clothes as he tentatively spreads his fingers and finds the back of Stiles's neck. 

Stiles's voice hitches just a touch as he says, “These can be on tap, you know. If you want them. Stilinski hugs are the best hugs, dude. Believe.”

And Derek finds he does believe. For the first time in forever, Derek believes there could be something good in his life again.

More confidently, now, he brings his other arm up to wrap around Stiles's waist and hugs Stiles tighter, properly, and allows himself to be hugged back.

Derek wonders how he has gone so long without this kind of closeness. Lived without this kindness.

He decides to let the 'dude' pass. Because maybe—maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all, to be somebody's dude? 

Stiles's dude.

It's a fucking ridiculous moniker and yet Derek suddenly couldn't care less. 

“I think I'd like that,” he whispers into the forbidden place where Stiles's jaw meets long, pale neck. "Dude."

Derek can feel Stiles's smile as the kid squeezes him harder. And, ironically, Derek feels as if he can breathe again. 

.

for @greyhavenisback bc i want to hug you in person and can't <3 (unedited, forgive me!)

[mcdynamite]

Nancy Wheeler has always been observant. It's something she prides herself on, if she's honest. It's what she knows will make her an excellent investigative reporter one day. It helps her make connections that other people might miss and remember the smallest of details that could make or break a story.

Perhaps most importantly, it's what makes her good at reading people – their micro-expressions, their body language, what makes them tick. She's good at it with anyone, but especially when it comes to the people she knows best.

So it's only logical that she's the first to notice when Steve starts to fall for Eddie Munson.

The signs are subtle, at first, but they're there, and Nancy can see them from a mile away. She's got the added bonus of having been the object of Steve's affections, once upon a time, so she knows what to look for. She knows that with Steve, it always starts with the lingering glances. He's never been able to keep his eyes off the people he wants, and it's this that first clues her in on the whole thing.

She's at Penny's Diner with Steve, Robin, and Eddie, and their waitress is laying it on thick, flirting relentlessly with Steve, batting her eyelashes dramatically and swaying her hips more than is objectively necessary whenever she walks away. And sure, Steve hasn't gone for any of the girls that act this way around him in a long time, but he always, always looks. Hell, even Nancy looks, sometimes, when a girl is objectively pretty. She's big enough to admit (to herself, at least) that boys aren't the only dating pool she's interested in, now that she and Jonathan are done.

But that day at Penny's, Steve doesn't give the poor waitress so much as a second glance, because that day, Steve can't seem to stop looking at Eddie.

At first, Nancy is sure she's imagining it – the way Steve's eyes linger on the dungeon master like he can't bring himself to look away – but it gets harder and harder to deny the longer they sit there sipping their milkshakes. Eddie is debating something silly with Robin, and Steve is just... watching him.

Steve's got this fond little smile on his face, and it's a look Nancy recognizes immediately. It used to be directed at her. And honestly? She's a bit relieved it's not, anymore, because she loves Steve, but not like that. Not the way she was worried Steve still loved her... the way she wonders if Steve might be falling for Eddie.

She sort of keeps an eye out for things, after that day – the little things that give Steve away when he's crushing hard on somebody. The lingering glances. The soft smiles. The brief touches. The flimsy excuses for stepping into Eddie's space, like the day Steve sees Eddie struggling with the lighter, and instead of just lending Eddie his own, he steps forward until their shoes are practically touching and holds up the flame for him.

She sees it all and wonders how in the world nobody else has caught on yet. Even Robin, Steve's best friend in the entire world, seems puzzled by the sudden lack of dates on Steve's calendar. Sometimes Nancy wants to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to just think a little harder.

(Nancy wants to grab Robin by the shoulders for other reasons, too – reasons that involve pulling Robin closer and kissing the living daylights out of her – but that's neither here nor there.)

But no matter how long Steve's pining lasts, no matter how obvious he's getting, nobody else seems to notice. It's mildly infuriating, but Nancy isn't about to talk to anyone else about it. It's dangerous being queer in this part of Indiana, and even though she knows that their little monster-fighting family won't care, it's still not her secret to tell.

It all comes to a head at a bonfire one night, midway through the summer, when the kids are once again grilling Steve on his sudden lack of a dating life. And it's Max who first cottons on to the most plausible explanation.

"Oh my God, wait, you like someone!" Max gasps midway through Dustin's interrogation.

There's a brief silence, and then the kids are all shouting.

"Oh, shit, Max, you're right. He totally does!" Dustin cries.

Steve tries to protest, but it's useless, because ever since Steve shed his royal persona two years ago, he's been a truly terrible liar. He looks like a deer in headlights, eyes wide and vaguely panicky, but Dustin Henderson has never been very good at letting things go.

"You have to tell us who it is!" Dustin presses. "We're your friends, Steve. Friends tell each other things. Unless..." Dustin gasps dramatically. "Unless she's someone we know..."

That shuts everyone up all at once, even Robin and Eddie, who have been having their own little conversation off to the side. Everyone stares at Steve, and then half of their eyes go to Nancy herself, and the other half land on Robin. It might make Nancy laugh, if Steve didn't look so close to throwing up.

"Right, well this is stupid," Steve says, smacking his hands on his knees and pushing up out of the chair. "I'm going to get another drink, and when I get back, we're dropping this."

He turns and hurries into the house, and Nancy glances around their little circle. Robin looks confused, but mostly worried. Eddie looks vaguely sick. And most of the kids just look shocked. They all start to murmur amongst themselves after the door slides shut behind Steve's retreating form. Nancy sees the way his whole body seems to sag, watching through the glass, and decides she's had enough.

She gets up, ignoring the way the murmuring gets louder as she walks, and follows him.

She finds Steve bent over the kitchen counter, palms pressed into the granite and head bent towards his chest. He looks like he's on the verge of panicking, and her heart aches for him. He's been through so much – some of which Nancy knows is her fault – and God, she just wants him to be happy for once.

"Steve?" she says softly.

Steve flinches at the sound of her voice, like he was so lost in thought he didn't even realize she'd followed him.

"There's something I wanted to-"

"Before you say anything, it's not you," he interupts flatly before she can finish. He pushes off the counter to look at her with sad, earnest eyes. "I know things were, like, weird when we were in the Upside Down, and we never really talked about it, but... I don't feel that way about you anymore. So you don't have to worry."

Nancy just blinks at him.

"That... that's what you wanted to talk about, right?" he asks.

"No, actually," Nancy says carefully. "I sort of knew you didn't feel like that about me, and I don't feel that way about you, so that's a non-issue, but..."

Steve looks relieved for a second, then tenses up again. "But...?" he says, raising an eyebrow.

"I, um... I think I might have an idea who it is – if Max is right, that is, and you really do like someone," she says.

Steve sighs. "It's not Robin, if that's what you're thinking."

"No," Nancy says softly, shaking her head. "No, it's not."

Steve frowns and averts his eyes, arms crossing protectively over his chest. He doesn't say anything.

Nancy considers her options. She wonders how she should play this, how to go about bringing this up. In the end, she just goes with her gut.

"Did you know I like girls?" she asks. It's the first time she's said it aloud to anyone, but it feels good. It feels like the right time. Besides, she wants to do this for Steve – to make him feel more comfortable. It's the least she can do.

Steve's eyes snap up to look at her again.

"I still like boys, too, but yeah... I like both, so..." She takes a deep breath. "If there was anything you wanted to tell someone about how you feel about... someone else... I'm not going to judge you."

Steve bites his lip. He looks painfully conflicted, and a little bit like he might cry. "I, uh..." he stammers. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath… clears his throat. "Okay first of all, thank you for trusting me with that, and you know I support you. I just want you to be happy, Nance."

Nancy nods, because she knows. She's always known. "That's what I want for you, too," she says. She takes a step forward and takes one of his hands in hers, because Steve's eyes are getting watery, and she hates seeing people cry. "You don't have to tell me, but if you want-"

"I think I like Eddie," Steve says suddenly, voice whisper-soft. He looks terrified when he meets Nancy's eyes again. "I, um... yeah. I like Eddie."

Nancy offers him what she hopes is an encouraging smile and nods. "Yeah, I kinda figured."

"Shit, am I that obvious?" Steve says weakly, and Nancy can't help but laugh softly.

"God, no," she says. "Well, to me, you are, but to everyone else? God, they're clueless. I promise you that nobody else has any clue, and it's been driving me crazy."

To her relief, Steve huffs out a soft laugh, as well. "Yeah, well, you've always been sort of freakishly observant, haven't you?"

It's true. She's always been like this, and that's precisely why she feels confident enough to make her next statement.

"You should tell him, Steve," she says.

Because Steve isn't the only person she's been watching for the past few months.

She's been watching Eddie, too, so she's seen Eddie's dopey, smitten smile whenever Steve makes a terrible joke. She's watched Eddie pull his hair in front of his mouth bashfully after Steve teases him. She's seen the blush on Eddie's cheeks whenever Steve steps into his personal space.

Steve Harrington isn't the only one who's been busy falling in love.

As usual, nobody else has noticed.

"No, absolutely not," Steve says, pulling his hand away and running both hands through his hair instead. "Are you crazy, Nance? He'll hate me!"

Nancy is pretty sure she deserves an Oscar for keeping her expression neutral, because the urge to roll her eyes is physically painful to resist.

"Steve," she says calmly. "I love you, and I love Eddie, but the two of you are idiots if you can't see how hard you've been pining over each other, and I am not above physically knocking your heads together to get you to realize that."

Steve's eyebrows disappear behind his hairline, and Nancy almost laughs. "Jesus, when did you get so threatening, Wheeler?" he grumbles, but there's a hint of a smile on his face. It's quickly swept away by fear, though, and Nancy's heart breaks a little when Steve looks at her with those puppy-dog eyes of his and asks, "What if you're wrong?"

She's only just opened her mouth to reply when the sliding door opens again, and someone else joins them in the kitchen.

Eddie's eyes dart back and forth between Nancy and Steve assessingly, and Nancy has to bite back a laugh because oh. Eddie was jealous.

"Sorry to interrupt," Eddie says, one eyebrow raised. "Just wanted to make sure everything was okay." He focuses his gaze on Steve, eyes softening. It's disgustingly adorable, how earnestly concerned he looks. "You doin' alright, Stevie? Kinda left in a hurry back there."

Steve glances at Nancy, face becoming redder by the second. Nancy smiles.

"Well I'm going to let you talk," she says casually. Steve's eyes nearly bug out of his head, but she puts both hands on his shoulders and looks him straight in the eyes before he can protest. "But to answer your question from before... I'm not wrong," she murmurs softly, so only Steve can hear. 

She pats him gently on the cheek and turns on her heel before Steve can respond, catching Eddie's eye on the way out. He looks perplexed, and she just smiles.

The kids hardly notice when she rejoins the circle around the fire. They've already moved on to topics that don't involve their babysitter's love life, but Robin still looks worried. It's cute. God, Robin is so cute, Nancy can hardly stand it.

"Is he okay?" Robin asks quietly. "He looked pretty upset when he left, and then you guys were gone for a while, and Eddie thought maybe you were getting back together, but I told him that was ridiculous, and now neither of them are back yet, and-"

"They're fine, I promise," Nancy says with a grin, interrupting Robin’s rambling. "They just... needed a little nudge."

Nancy gets to see the moment it clicks for Robin, and it's only a little bit hilarious. "Wait..." Robin says, mouth dropping open. "Steve...?"

Nancy nods, smile widening.

"And Eddie?"

"Yep," Nancy says. Robin looks on the verge of a massive freakout (a positive one, obviously, but a freakout nonetheless), and Nancy doesn't want her to unwittingly out both of the boys to the kids, so she changes the topic. She figures if she's making Steve deal with his feelings, she might as well do the same. You know, solidarity, and all that.

"By the way," Nancy says coolly, quietly, "did you know I'm bisexual?"

She has to cover Robin's mouth with her hand to stop her shriek of surprise, but it's worth it, because Robin instantly turns into a blushing, stuttering mess, and it's so stupidly endearing. Nancy wants to kiss her until neither of them can remember their own names.

It's even more endearing when Nancy tells her, "Yeah, so I'd really like to talk later, after the kids go to bed, if that's okay?" And Robin looks like she might faint when she blushes and whimpers out a yes.

Nancy just grins and threads their fingers together, hands tucked out of sight from the kids.

They're still sitting like that when Steve and Eddie finally come out of the house after a very long time, both boys looking flushed and a bit disheveled, but happy.

"Thought you were getting another drink?" Erica snarks at Steve when they sit down, and Nancy snorts, because Steve definitely returned empty-handed.

Steve's eyes widen and he looks at Eddie sheepishly. "I, uh... got a little distracted."

Only Max seems to recognize the implications, because her jaw drops, but Robin nudges her with her foot before she can say anything, and Max instantly shuts her mouth. She's still got a knowing look on her face, but Nancy knows she won't go outing anyone to the others. She's a good kid.

"God, you have the attention span of a puppy, Steve, I swear," Dustin grumbles, and the conversation quickly moves on.

Nancy is mostly quiet for the rest of the night, silently observing all of her friends and reveling in the feeling of Robin's hand in hers. She watches as Max tentatively rests her head on Lucas's shoulder. Watches Lucas's eyes widen and sees the internal freakout happening in his mind. She sees the way Eddie and Steve sit closer than before, practically on top of each other, faces flushed with happiness while they all make s'mores. She watches her brother look hopelessly confused sitting between Will and El, because he hasn't yet realized that while he is in love with one of them, it's not the one he thinks it is.

And at the end of the night, after the kids are all settled in the massive living room and she and Robin head for the guest room, Nancy catches Steve's eye. He and Eddie are holding hands now that they're out of sight of the kids, and Eddie can't stop staring at Steve like he's some sort of miracle. But just this once, Steve tears his eyes away from Eddie to meet Nancy's.

He smiles, mouths thank you, and gives an approving nod when his eyes land on her hand, which is still wrapped around Robin's.

Nancy just smiles and nods, and watches as Eddie impatiently tugs Steve into the bedroom and shuts the door. As Robin does the same to her, pulling her eagerly into the guest room, she has a wild thought.

If the investigative journalism thing doesn't work out, there's always the option of matchmaker.

She's apparently pretty damn good at it, after all.

And she's always been observant.

[not-magdi]

"Us, Forever"

Summary: Pablo can't believe how lucky he got with you, he really can't believe it 

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N

I managed to get Corona! The one time I would have had time to write something I got Corona and a Fever that cooked my brain. But, now my test is negative again and my brain is producing ideas like crazy! 

Hope you like this one though,

Love you guys Magdi <3

You didn't know what to think when you saw his pain-filled expression on TV. You sat there, completely frozen, worry the only thing on your mind.   

When you heard his sobs over the phone as he told you how bad it was, your heart shattered into a million pieces. That day made you realise that from that moment on, you had to be the strong one in this relationship. 

It made you realise that he needed you to be the one he could lean on, the one Pablo could let his guard down, somebody that could be strong for him too. So he didn't have to be all the time. 

You made it to your mission to do everything in your power to help him in any way possible. You rebuilt your living room into a bedroom, so he didn't have to go up any stairs. You held him day and night when the pain got too strong, and the only thing he could do was cry. 

"Baby, I'm here ... I'm here for you. Let it all out I got you."

His grip on your hoddie was so hard that his knuckles turned white. You wrapped your arms around him like you wanted to protect him from everything terrible that this world threw at him. 

Pablo felt safe in your arms. Your sent calmed him down. The warmth of your body engulfed him in a comforting manner. 

He buried his face deeper into your neck as he felt his breath starting to slow down again. 

"T-Thank you, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

You grabbed his head to make him look at you. You assured him, "Hey, it's completely ok to feel like shit sometimes. What you are going through is nothing easy. Sometimes you just have to let it all out." 

Kissing his head, you stand up to grab something to eat for the two of you. Seeing that it was already 6 in the morning, you decided to start the day, knowing you two wouldn't fall asleep anymore. 

Pablo kept lying on the couch. The pain in his knee was now only a dull ache. He sat up a bit to be able to see you rummaging through his kitchen drawers, trying to find something to eat.

An unconscious smile makes its way onto his face. He can't get his head around how you are willing to do all of this for him. Like he really doesn't know what he would do without you. You'd do everything for him, he doesn't even have to ask for it. 

But it scared him that you wanted to help him so much. It frightened him that one day, you could wake up and realise how much work it was to be in a relationship with him. And that you would leave him because of that.

Realistically, something like that would never happen, but he was a chronicle overthinker, so let him be. 

When you came back from the kitchen with two plates in your hand, you sensed something was bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you on his own. 

You two ate your breakfast in silence, it was a weird kind of silence. You felt that Pablo wanted to tell you something the whole time, but nothing came. He just sat there and played around with his food. 

"You not hungry?" 

Looking like a child who got caught doing something stupid, he shakes his head and lowers his gaze again, not able to hold eye contact with you for so long. 

Thinking he wouldn't say anything at all. You were about to say something when you heard him say. "How do you do it?" 

Confused, you look at him. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean, like ... like how do you keep up with me?" 

Your confusion didn't get any better. You looked up from your plate and saw Pablo already staring at you, a curious yet slightly sad expression on his face. 

Pablo noticed your confused expression and continued to talk. 

" I mean, how can you keep up with literally having to be my server? You are cancelling your plans to stay home with me and do everything to keep me comfortable. You put my life before yours. Why do you do that? I-I don't understand. "

You loved him deeply and didn't see your efforts as a burden. It was natural for you to do what you could to help him. You couldn't enjoy yourself while he was suffering because it felt wrong to you.

Your silence made Pablo panic a bit, maybe he made you realise that you didn't want to live like that. What if you were actually sick of him needing care 24/7 now? 

Your voice interrupted his inner monologue, " I have no clue, to be honest. It's just - the second I heard you were injured, I felt like I had to take care of you, to help you somehow." 

You took a second to think of your following words. "When I heard you crying on the phone that day, I just felt the need to protect you, to take care of you. I know that you are a capable individual who can handle things on your own, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. When you care about someone deeply, it's natural to want to do everything in your power to ensure their well-being. So, even though I trust your abilities, I just want to remind you that I'm here for you if you ever need help or support. Your happiness and safety mean everything to me, and I'll always do my best to make sure you're feeling okay."

Hearing Pablo sniff made you stop your rambling and look at him. 

"Dios mio, these medications make me emotional." 

Pablo let out a wet chuckle as he wiped his tearing eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

You smiled at the boy before you and leaned down to place a kiss on his red nose. "I don't care, I love you one tear more or less isn't gonna change that."

"I love you too, so so much." 

[mcflymemes]

CHALLENGERS (2024) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.

who says i want somebody to be in love with me?

i don't want to fuck you to prove a point.

fuck me because you want to.

are you gonna do it or not?

tastes even better than it looks.

i just told you i missed you.

i really want to kiss you right now, but i'm worried that if i try, you'll think i'm the worst friend in the world.

you know, it hurts me sometimes how little you believe in yourself.

decimate that little bitch.

let's be honest, you gotta feel bad for the kid.

you're not a spring chicken anymore.

dude. he's a pancake. you're gonna flatten him.

how's this feeling?

we're ready for you.

so obviously this isn't the result you wanted today.

you choked.

i don't want you to embarrass yourself.

i'm just a little rusty. it's a confidence thing.

get your fucking confidence back. i can't do it for you.

i'm so sick of you using this as an excuse to have a fucking meltdown.

you said we could watch a movie.

you're evil.

i'm gonna quiz you on it tomorrow.

sir, i don't know who you are.

i don't think we have much more to talk about.

i haven't spoken to you in five years.

i was just taking a little nap.

move, or i'm calling the cops.

you were really something back then, huh?

we always talked about how amazing it would be to win this together.

i'm a crazy person.

any predictions about how that's going to go?

can you do me a favor? can you not, like... demolish me tomorrow?

shut the fuck up.

if it matters to you so much, i can just give it to you.

i need it to look like i really beat you.

don't guilt me with your dying grandmother.

she's the hottest woman i've ever seen.

you were... fucking incredible.

baby, we've got to get going.

i'm not going to that party.

are you that threatened by me?

we can't both just go in there, dicks swinging.

i'd let her fuck me with a racket.

hey, do you smoke?

of course they will remember you.

see, that's your problem. you think you're like an artist or something.

you just want to win because you love it when people tell you how talented you are.

are you on facebook?

i told you tennis was boring.

you just got this crazy look on your face.

are you on a date?

i don't kiss and tell.

why did you want to have dinner with me?

i think you might be the worst friend in the world.

i didn't know you were so concerned about my feelings.

of course you still have a thing for her.

we just had what i'm assuming is the best sex of our lives.

i fucked your brains out?

what do you think you need? a cheerleader? a fuck buddy? a girlfriend?

you're talented, you're charming, and you've got a big dick.

excuse me for inconveniencing you.

don't expect to sleep here tonight.

stop going easy on me.

i'll be whatever you need me to be. i'll fuck off if you want me to.

i need you here, actually.

you're referring to when i declared my love for you.

you're not in love with me anymore?

i've been dreaming about this for five years.

i'm gonna propose something to you, and it's gonna make you angry. it's gonna make you very angry. but you have to hear me out, okay?

i'm finally ready to listen to you.

how dare you fucking ask me that.

do you think it's cute what you're doing? do you think it's funny?

that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard.

i've always wanted you.

you didn't do anything to me. i did it all to myself.

i think i've reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.

do you understand how embarrassing it is that you're here?

you've never beaten me.

tell me it doesn't matter.

will you just hold me?

i'm not here to fuck you.

i miss watching you play. you were so beautiful.

[elixrr]

My love was mine, all mine.

You were supposed to be his.

He could've sworn that he just had you.

So, why?

Why weren't you his?

Your lips. Your lips pressed against another's.

Your arms. Your arms wrapped somebody else.

You— beautiful, glorious you— entwined and sparkling with somebody who wasn't him.

The sky above did not depict those dark, mournful sceneries that books and shows would often have. No. The clouds dispersed; the sun shone as if everything he felt was fake; the crowds around clapped and cheered for your kiss—for your newfound love.

It's almost as if none of his feelings mattered in the first place. You belonged to someone else now, and what was there to do about it? His eyes won't tear away from your smile, the same one that he adored so much. The way your eyes crinkled with love, the way your nose scrunched with pure happiness. It'd make him want to smile, too, and with all the same feelings.

But not this time.

Your smile was someone else's now.

Your smile belonged to someone else now.

It wasn't his. Never belonged to him.

Would it have ever been for him?

None of the material items that he possessed would've made him as joyous as you would. You, even as his friend, already gave him so much to smile for, so much to look forward to. Your heart was the biggest reason for his heartbeat.

So, why? Why couldn't he at least have you?

Did he possess too many items?

If so, then consider them freed from him. None of it will belong to him anymore if it means that you could just turn your gaze towards him. If you'd just let go of that person and run up to him instead, embrace him, kiss him like you did with the other, then his losses will only sum to the biggest gain.

Yet, you turn your head elsewhere. Your back faces his front as you cheer. You're the happiest version of you that he's ever seen. He's jealous, not of your happiness, but of the fact that he could've been standing there next to you, arm wrapped around your waist to hold you dearly, and he could be just as happy as you.

Your love could've been his. In his head, it should've been—

But it's not.

And then you— with your hand in someone else's— walk away from him. Your feet glide farther and farther away from him as the crowd follows in celebration.

Everyone left him behind.

You left him behind.

He wants to scream, run up, and cry— to beg you with his confession to be his— but he knows he can't. All he can do is extend his hand out to yours, that which remains empty, yet it disappears from view.

And eventually the crowd closes in, and you are nowhere to be soon.

Was this really the gift of love? Heartbreak?

His hopes; his dreams; his chances, were they all really for naught? All of that effort he put into trying to be yours, and all he gets is loneliness?

Maybe it wasn't enough.

Was it already planned by fate above that you were destined for another? That his love for you, a love that runs deep within his veins and flows straight to and through the beat of his heart, was already unrequited from the start?

He collapses. No one's there to see him fall onto his knee, hand grasping his head as the internal storm within begins to rain and rage. His tears finally form, and they pour like a faucet. The pain in him began to ring throughout his body, and he felt his heart fully sink.

In his mind, he had just lost everything,

And all of that loss reduced to no gain,

And all of that loss summed up to nothing.

[vainvenus]

꒰ The Café ꒱

Hello! Well to Vainvenus' Café! I'll be your host, Vee. Make sure to order a nice beverage to go with any desserts you end up choosing, don't be scared to ask for a little something extra on top of that dessert or in your drink!

The current fandoms that I'm writing for and that you can request characters from are: Formula one, OBX, PJO, TBOSAS, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, The Black phone, The Outsiders, Marvel and DC. You can request characters from other fandoms, these are just my favorites/what I'm familiar with!

Make sure that when you're requesting you include the Driver/character, who you want saying the quote and which pronouns/gender you would prefer for the reader! Do not request smut/lime for minors or drivers ( I just don't feel comfortable with it lol ) and don't request anything extremely weird! I will not write pedophillia, incest, dubcon or any extremely weird/illegal kinks!

꒰ Beverages ꒱

Hot Chocolate: Fluff

Cold Brew: Slow-burn

Black Coffee: Angst

Chamomile Tea: Hurt + Comfort

Latte: Lime

Coffee Cocktail: Smut

Amaretto: Royalty Au

Cappuccino: College/University Au

Chocolate Milk: Soulmate Au

Lemonade: Fantasy Au

Water: Au of your choice

Americano: Strangers to Lovers

Espresso: Enemies to lovers

Frappuccino: Friends to lover

Latte Macchiato: Opposites attract

Flat White: Fake dating

Earl Grey Tea: Secret Relationship

Green Tea: Unrequited Love

Mocha: Dark!Driver/Character

꒰ Desserts ꒱

Chocolate soufflé: "I trusted you. How could you?"

Blueberry muffin: "Just tell me the truth."

Banana nut muffin: "Are you breaking up with me?"

Strawberry-nutella crepe: "I'm sorr-" "I don't want your apology."

Strawberry cheesecake: "You don't mean that."

Strawberry shortcake: "I don't wanna say goodbye. Not now."

Raspberry cheesecake: "Shhh. It's okay, I'm here."

Classic cheesecake: "Look me in the eyes and tell me it meant nothing."

Strawberry rhubarb cake: "We're not friends anymore."

Molten lava cake: "Can we still be friends?"

Coffee cake: "You promised."

Caramel cake: "Just leave."

Blueberry bundt cake: "Are you...crying?"

Angel food cake: "Don't look at me like that." "Like you love me."

Carrot cake: "I wish you could see yourself like how I see you."

Red velvet cake: "Did you ever mean it when you told me you loved me?"

Chocolate cake: "I can't lose you."

Tiramisu cake: "I wish we never met."

Fruitcake: "For what it's worth, I'm proud of you."

Pumpkin pie: "Can I...hold your hand?"

Cherry pie: "Please don't say you love me."

Apple pie: "Don’t. Don’t promise me anything. It’s not like you keep them anyway."

Pecan pie: "You still love me?" "I never stopped."

Key-lime pie: "Shhh don't apologize."

Lemon meringue pie: "Stop pushing everyone away!"

Coconut creampie: "You're dead to me."

Tres leches: "You liked me this entire time!?"

Parfait: "Staring is rude." "I'm just admiring."

Macaroons: "I could be a better boyfriend/girlfriend than them."

Cinnamon rolls: "Do you want me to stay?"

Oatmeal cookies: "Please don't leave me alone."

Chocolate chip cookies: "For someone who hates me you're not pulling away."

Snickerdoodle cookies: "Stop looking at me like that..it's hurting my feelings."

Gingersnaps: "I love you so much, do you know that?"

Chocolate donuts: "How long has it been since someone hugged you?"

Hazelnut donuts: "Please don't be scared. I won't hurt you, I swear. I'm here to help."

Pancakes: "Breathe, just breathe."

Butterscotch pudding: "Are you sure you're fine?"

Brownies: "Do you hate me or something?"

Blondies: "Does somebody have a crush on me?"

Vanilla ice cream: "You're my priority."

Chocolate ice cream: "I'm not crying, I have allergies."

Strawberry ice cream: "But I don't want them! I want you!"

Neapolitan ice cream: "I got you cherry perfume!" "They like vanilla."

Cookies n cream ice cream: "You're cute when you get angry."

Mint chocolate chip ice cream: "Me? Jealous? Don't make me laugh."

Churros: "I'm gonna fuck you until the only word your little brain can form is my name."

French toast: "That's it, fuck, that's a good girl/boy."

Cream puffs: "You look so pretty like this."

Lemon bars: "Oh c'mon you can give me one more."

Nanaimo bars: "Uh, uh, look at me."

Scones: "Use your words."

Biscotti: "On your knees. Now."

Belgian waffles: "Please, I need you."

Banana pudding: "You'd sound so good begging for me."

Banana bread: "Go on, fuck yourself on my cock."

Banana split: "Is this okay?" "Yeah, that—more than okay. Please—keep going."

Chocolate truffles: "Relax, I've got you."

Chocolate covered strawberries: "Don't do that, I wanna hear all the pretty noises you make."

Puff pastry: "I can't-” “Yes you can."

Baklava: "You're such a fucking slut."

Chouquette: "You either get off on my thigh or nothing."

Creme brûlée: "You're so in for it when we get home."

Flan: "Swallow. All of it."

Chocolate eclair: "That's so fucking hot."

Beignets: "Let's put that mouth to better use."

Chocolate mousse: "So noisy tonight, do I need to gag you?"

Chocolate croissant: "Just relax for me, I'll make it feel good."

Croissant: "You're mine. All mine. Say it."

Strawberry tart: "Please stop teasing me."

Peach Cobbler: "Look at you. Taking me so well."

Madeines: "Oh c'mon you can be louder than that can't you?"

꒰ EXTRA ꒱

Espresso: Rough Sex

Creamer: Gentle Sex

Whipped Cream: Possessive/Obsessive behaviour

Chocolate Chips: Cockwarming

Strawberries: Dumbification:

Coconut shavings: Semi/public sex

Hazelnut drizzle: Dirty talk

Caramel drizzle: Praise

Strawberry drizzle: Degradation

Vanilla drizzle: Edging

Chocolate Drizzle: Overstimulation

Nutella: Kink of your choice

[scribblesofagoonerr]

Cos' sometimes sleep isn't enough anymore | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, C - Cos' sometimes sleep isn't enough anymore

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

I guess I'm on a roll tonight? 3 parts posted so far, I'm not even sure how many parts this will end up with but, um, yeah, i hope you like this one and it's not to heavy to read.

Absolutely none of it's proof-read so yet again it could seem jumbled up or not even make sense but umm I can't sleep and my brain is overthinking at 4 am so this is the result of it :)

Thanks for all the continuous love and support on this so far!

Waking up in hospital, you think over your thoughts about what happened and wonder if you really did mean to do it?

tw: heavy angst, talks of SH, MH, suicide and death.

Bright lights and slow repetive beeps followed by the sterile smell of a hospital enrivoment.

That's how you knew it was bad when you woke up.

You really hadn't mean for it to get to that point though, you made the mistake of cutting deeper than you should have and now you have landed yourself in the hospital.

This was definitely not your smartest move you had pulled.

Something tells you it wouldn't be so easy to hide your pain behind a fake smile now.

You felt the wet tears covering your own hand along with the heavy weight of another body practically leaning on you.

"Geez, did somebody die in here or something?" Was the first words you spoke since you had fallen unconcious and of course, it was with your usual cocky teenage atttiude.

Dark humour has always been your go to, you hate to show any type of vulnerability.

"Y/N/N" Leah voice croaks in surprise as she sits bolt up right to look straight at you. "You're awake, finally!" she immediately breaks down into sobs again as she reaches towards you and wraps her arms around you.

"Yeah, I'm awake but there's no need to cry about it" You struck back with the same cocky atittude, that drove your team mates crazy but loved you never the less. "Seriously though, did someone die? Cos' you're crying that much right now that I'm begining to think so" you note, hiding your own pain behind the smile.

Just keep smiling, nobody will ask questions.

Everyone will think you're fine.

"Seriously, Y/N?" Leah is quick to smack you around the back of the head as she's now giving you one of her famous glares, one that you knew all too well. "You scared me to death, you little shit!" she admits, showing her vunerability.

"Ow. Ow-- Hey, you can't hit me, I'm fragile right now" You can't help but pout and hope for sympathy from the older blonde girl.

"Fragile, huh? You seem fine enough to be making jokes" Leah remarks as she continues to glare at you.

"Come on, you know that dark humour is the way to go sometimes Le" You grin at the blonde, who doesn't seem to have the same idea.

See? Totally easy to hide your pain.

Leah just stares at you in disbelief you're really cracking jokes right now, "You're unbelieve sometimes, Y/F/N" she mutters aloud.

"Uh oh, your using my full name, am I in trouble now?" You can't help to continue with your cocky, I don't give a shit attitude never the less you had worried all of your team mates like you did.

"Right now I'm just glad that you're alive," Leah admits as she rewraps her arms around you and squeezes you gently. "But if you ever scare me like that again then we'll be having a very different conversation!" she tells you, sternly.

"Okay" You wince slightly as the tightness of the hug that the blonde was very reluctant to let go off you. "Seriously, Le. I'm fine now, why are you still crying so much?" You ask, confused.

"I'm crying because I... I thought I had really lost you this time" Leah speaks her thoughts aloud as she still holds onto you like you would disappear all over again. "When I found you, like the... like the way I did, I thought you was going to die" she adds in, quietly.

Your own amused smile starts to falter as you glance down at the bandages wrapped around your arm. "I'm sorry... I am really sorry for scaring you like that" You apologise quietly, starting to realise the seriousness of it all.

You must've had all of your team mates so worried and right now you were only acting like a total jackass about it.

"I was so scared" Leah replies as she pulls away from hugging you before she readjusts to move onto the bed beside you. "There was so much blood, Y/N/N. I... I thought when we arrived at the hospital, it would be too late and I'd be saying goodbye to you instead" she explains, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat.

Shit, why did I go and do that? I've made Leah almost have a nervous break down.

How could you be so selfish? You didn't deserve the love you recieved from your team mate.

"I bet the bathrooms' a right bloody mess now then" You can't help the comment that slips out of your mouth.

Once again, dark humour is a key to hiding the reality of pain.

Leah clicks her tongue at your comment, although she can tell exactly what you're doing now.

You had been doing it all this long so easily, it was just that nobody realised it.

"Why didn't you tell me that it was getting bad again?" The blondes' question is something that catches you off guard.

Guilt-striken to hear her words, you found sudden interest with the crisp white sheets currently covering you.

There was a lot of things that you could have said, but would she want to hear any of it?

Nobody can help me with the way I feel,

I'm so tired,

I wanted to relieve the pain, I wanted a way out.

All of the questions racing through your mind, you actually began to wonder if you had cut yourself that deep on purpose? Did your own selfishness overshadow any other feelings inside of you.

The battle with your inner demons was just too much sometimes, you was just so exhausted now.

So, why couldn't you have just been left to die instead?

"What's going on inside your head, Y/N/N?" Leah's next question brought you out of your dark thoughts. "Talk to me, you know that I'm here to listen" she states with a gentle tone of voice.

Although the next words that you speak are nothing that she can be prepared to hear.

"I think... I think I wanted to die, I wanted an out on life" Your voice quivers as you admit the truth to the blonde, finally.

"W... What?" Leah looks at you with a mixture of shock and hurt.

"I'm so tired, Le-- I'm just so fuckin' tired. I... I can't do this anymore" You express your feelings as you feel yourself tearing up.

It was as if Leah hadn't quite regestered the words you had said, or she had but she refused to believe that you actually did want to try and kill yourself.

"The girls all went to get coffee, um I think that all of the girls will be back soon though" The blonde tells you quietly as she wraps her free arm around you and gives you a small smile.

Denial, it was so easy to pretend there wasn't anything to read into with your most recent confession.

"Leah--"

"I bet they'll be happy to know that you're awake now" Leah cut you off as she continues to give you that weary smile, you weren't sure if she was now clutching onto you a bit tighter in fear of you pulling another stunt like you did.

"Leah, didn't you hear me? I said I wanted to die!" You shout loud enough for her to suck in a sharp breath.

"I heard you, Y/N/N-- I heard you, I saw you, I... I was there for it all. I was the one who found you in the bathroom; You was lay in a pool of your own blood while you were slipping in and out of unconciousness" Leah broke her game of where she didn't pretend you as she turned to face you, you had her whole attention now. "I sat there, pressing a god-damn towel against your cuts, praying that you would make it and you... you tell me that you want to die? You don't get to die. You can't, we need you-- Damn it Y/N, I need you! Y... You're my family! So you don't get to tell me you want to die!" she tells you, the shake in her voice so evident that she's close to tears again.

"What? You... You want to die?" Beth broke the tense silence as she has a distraught look on her face.

"Do you really mean that?" Lia questions as her eyes widen in shock.

Neither you or Leah realise that some of the older girls had made their way back to your room, when they arrived they were delighted with the realisation that you were now finally awake after the long 24 hours but that quickly turned into shock and hurt when they heard Leah's words so boldly, that even the patients down the hall probably would've heard.

"I do, I did... I don't know. I'm tired, I can't... I can't keep doing this anymore" You admit out loud for every single one of them to hear.

You hear the blonde beside you suck in another sharp breath as she keeps her arm firmly attached round your shoulder.

The confession is left hanging in the air, leaving a tense feeling and it was suddenly so quiet that in the room that you were certain that you would even be able to hear a pin drop.

Nobody utters a word, a state of shock written across each one of their faces.

"Sometimes sleep isn't enough when it's my soul that's tired" You tell them, leaving them all stood there grief-stricken with the realisation that you really had been struggling for longer than you wanted to admit.

[amymbona]

i need angst so !! thinking about patrick with an introverted, shy, kinda closed off reader who sometimes needs to just be by herself and isolates and ghosts the people around her because she gets overwhelmed. and of course patrick gets mad because he doesn't get it and he confronts her about it and they get in a huge argument idk. i feel like she's a lot like a female version of art and she gest sneaky and mean when she's angry so i just imagine patrick seeing this part of her for the first time and they end up saying the worst things to each other

thank you <33

Patrick angst Zweig <3

I think that, as much as Patrick tries to be a good guy, he's just really oblivious and fails to notice important stuff. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care - no no no - but he's simply kinda stupid. And unfortunately, he's having issues with figuring out certain social cues.

So when your responses are dry, only sending simple yes and no to his messages, Patrick gets really pissed. What exactly is the issue - do you suddenly hate him? Has he done something so terrible that offended you and you weren't even able to talk to him about it? Or is it the harsh truth that you don't want to be friends with him anymore? While you're (somewhat) peacefully asleep, hoping to get past your anxiety in that way, Patrick spends hours pacing around his room, literal steam shooting from his ears.

And then he storms into your dorm in the middle of the night - because Patrick Zweig doesn't understand the concept of time and because Patrick Zweig doesn't care if somebody wants to get rest and mainly because Patrick Zweig doesn't like waiting - so you're forced to listen to him rant, half asleep, in your pyjamas.

"I don't understand it, I just - did I do something? - or what is it? Why won't you just tell me?"

"Patrick, just go to your place. We'll talk in the morning," you beg him with a sleepy voice, eyes closing.

He stomps towards your bed, hands on his hips, staring down at your tired frame, "Why? Why won't you just talk to me? You've been ignorin' me since the start of the week. What the hell's your issue?"

"Just go," you plead once again, genuinely not in the mood for any of it.

"Don't tell me to go - goddamn - don't sleep now! Just talk to me, for fuck's sake," Patrick is still pushing his luck, unable to respect your wishes. He is determined to get this answer. And unfortunately, that pushes you over the edge.

"Why do you have to be so pushy all the time? Oh my god, just leave me alone - why don't you get it? I'm not texting you cause I wanna be alone!"

He's dumbfounded, totally.

"What the hell, Y/N?"

But you're having none of it, sadly, too upset about this whole treatment, about Patrick constantly chasing you, glued to your back, not allowing you a single moment for yourself. You love him, but you need to be alone as well, "You're after me all the time - do you have an idea how frusttating that is? I can't be with you all the time, Pat. I'm not a robot, I need some time for myself too!"

And you know Patrick is quite an emotional guy, dependent too. He requires constant reassurance and presence of his loved ones - so much, that he's blind to all the hints of discomfort, unable to understand the world doesn't revolve around him.

"Oh," he nods, stepping away from your bed slowly, "Okay."

Like a harsh shake, the realisation that you have unintentionally hurt his feelings wakes you up. But you couldn't hold it back, you just couldn't, when you were so overwhelmed, "Wait, Patrick-"

"No no no," he cuts you off, "Good night."

And then you're left alone. But suddenly, you don't want to be alone. You want Patrick to come back, to be here, lay next to you and talk your ear off. To rant and rant and rant until you're asleep, unaware of anything he's saying, but snuggled closely to his side. Hurriedly, you pick up your phone and text him.

Y/N: pat [0:28 am]

Y/N: sorry [0:28 am]

Y/N: i'm sorry [0:28 am]

Y/N: come baxk [0:28 am]

Y/N: please [0:29 am]

Y/N: sorry [0:29 am]

Y/N: :( [0:29 am]

[seen by Patrick Zweig]

[alex69rockwell]

Uhmm yeah.....Last year I saw Grunge playlists of @arayashikiii and @upon-lavender-hills (whom I certainly want to thank for inspiring me to create this) and I've been thinking about creating my own ever since, BUT! I must warn you'all that there are quite a lot of dubious songs that I associate with "So much to say" fanfiction, there are also a few songs that are suitable only for Runge or only for Grimmer. Below I will mark who and which song belongs to!!!

GRUNGE

• Nonpareil of Favor - of Montreal

"My lover, I've been donating

Time to review

All the misinterpretations

That define me and you

I'm thinking about you

In my secret language

Because I know you're the only one

Who can help me take it easy

------------

It's like you were always there

Just on the tip of my tongue

And I needed you to happen, yeah

And now that you've happened

And it really, really, really came true

I feel like I ought to thank somebody

So I'm gonna thank you, thank you

Thank you, thank you

Thank you, thank you"

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers

"I hate you for what you did

And I miss you like a little kid

I faked it every time, but that's alright

I can hardly feel anything, I hardly feel anything at all

You gave me fifteen hundred to see your hypnotherapist

I only went one time, you let it slide

Fell on hard times a year ago

Was hoping you would let it go and you did

I have emotional motion sickness

Somebody roll the windows down

There are no words in the English language

I could scream to drown you out

I'm on the outside lookin' through

You're throwin' rocks around your room

And while you're bleeding on your back in the glass

I'll be glad that I made it out

And sorry that it all went down like it did"

• Strfkr - Rawnald Gregory

"All my life, there you go

Oh please stay, just this once

Anyway

All my life, there they go

Oh please stay, for the night

Anyway

All my life, there you go

Oh please stay, just this once

Anyway

All my life, there they go

Oh please stay, for the night

Anyway"

• Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead

"God, that was strange to see you again

Introduced by a friend of a friend

Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"

In that instant it started to pour

-----------

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose

I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose

I'll write you a postcard

I'll send you the news

From the house down the road from real love

------------

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave

You were what I wanted

I gave what I gave

I'm not sorry I met you

I'm not sorry it's over

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save"

• Connor spiotto - The villain I appear to be

(I just REALLY love this song, I think it's silly and match Grunge so well)

"Sometimes when I

Wanna run away and hide

When there's no one on my side

And all my pride had disappeared

I take it off my mind

And leave it all behind

Nothin' left to do but

Try to take the leap and follow through

And that's exactly what I'll do

I know to you I don't seem very strong

But, I assure you, before you can find me, I'm gone

So come on and catch me; you've still got a chance

But not for long

I'll be rollin' place to place

Won't stop till I win the race

Although I may have crossed the line

No time to waste on you

I don't plan on slowing

Down; no, I'll keep on going

Even if you think I'm in the wrong

Just know that

Although I may not think everything through

I don't take back what I say or regret what I do

I know that some stay in line and they stick to the plan

But if you leave it to me, I'll do whatever I can 'cause

I know that's what I'm here for

I don't wanna wait around anymore

Even if you can't see

The good inside me

I don't have the time to tell you

Why I do the things that I do

Just please hold on and soon you'll see

That I'm not the villain I appear to be

Movin' along; no, I won't settle down

Until I'm locked behind bars or I'm kicked outta town

So you can keep on a-runnin' around and around

But you will never quite catch up to me!

And I know you think I'm crazy

But I hope that maybe

Now you'll see why

I had to try!"

• Max Raabe - Ein Tag wie Gold

(This song is also just silly and gorgeous ,BUT IT'S IN GERMAN!!! and I also just think it fits them, sssooooo!!!!!)

"Ein Tag wie Gold

In den Adern hunderttausend Volt

Eine Nacht, wie Samt und Seide

Ein Tag wie Gold

Ihr habt doch alles, was ihr wollt

Eine Nacht, schöner kann es nicht sein

Zwei Schritt' nach links

Zwei zurück, dann nach vorn

Jetzt oder nie

Wir sind zum Tanzen geboren

Alles bebt, alles lebt

Hak dich ein

Kann es sein, dass wir verrückt sind?

Ein Tag wie Gold

In den Adern hunderttausend Volt

Eine Nacht, wie Samt und Seide

Leben, ist es nur ein Traum?

Schön wär's, ich glaube kaum

Dass es wahr ist

Pass auf, weil man sehr leicht vergisst

Nichts bleibt, wie es ist

Ohhh

Grüße nach Moskau, Paris, und nach Wien

Wir winken euch zu

Alles kommt nach Berlin

Alles schrill, jeder will, allen war immer klar, dass wir verrückt sind

Ein Tag wie Gold

Was übrig bleibt, das wird verzollt

Ein Schimmern

Denn was kümmern mich Bilanzen

Lass uns Tanzen!"

• Tally Hall - Hidden in the Sand

"

-------------

When you had to bid adieu (ooh, ooh, ooh)

Said you'd never love anew (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I wondered if I could hold it

And fall in love with it too

You told me to buy a pony

But all I wanted was you

-------------

"

• They Might Be Giants - Too Tall Girl

( Silliness kicked in )

"Fall in love with a too-tall girl

Deleterious and delerious

Fall in love with a too-tall girl

With her magazine

Dressed in aubergine

Too-tall girl can see

Past the rooftops and the trees

Too-tall girl can see

Past the crosstown mall and towny sprawl"

And now, it's only Runge

• Lemon Demon - I Earn My Life

"I'll quit my job the day I die

I'll quit my job the day I die

I break my back and never cry

I break my back and never cry

I'm losing all my hair, losing all my hair

I'm losing all my hair because a man provides

I'm standing on a chair, standing on a chair

I'm standing on a chair because I earn my life

I earn my life, I earn my life

I learned it from my father and tell it to my wife

Jesus Christ, don't tell me not to hurry

I wouldn't be so worried if I wasn't always right

While you're asleep I'm terrified

While you're asleep I'm terrified

I see the end before my eyes

I see the end before my eyes

A marker on a grave, marker on a grave

Marker on a grave and I know I'm the one who died

And underneath the name, underneath the name

Underneath my name it says, "He Earned His Life"

I earn my life, I earn my life

I learned it from my father my father never lied

Jesus Christ, better learn how to forage

Utilities and mortgage are all that will survive"

Only Grimmer

• That Handsome Devil - Charlie's Inferno

"You can run from your demons until you are exhausted

One day, you will have to stop and find out what they wanted

Keep on running from those demons 'til you are exhausted

You can run to those angels until you are exhausted

One day, you will have to stop and question what they wanted

Keep on running to those angels 'til you are exhausted

"Excuse me, sir! (I don't)

There must be someone you've confused me for (want to)

If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform (die)

I really don't belong here (please don't)

I know you've heard the tune before! (Let me die)"

[chronicbeans]

Wally and a Puppeteer Reader (part 4)

No thoughts. Only silly.

TW: Derealization, Idol Worship, Obsessive Behavior, Mentions of Stalking

🍎 The last few days have been a blur of the bright colors in the neighborhood mixed with the dull, more muted tones of your world for Wally. It seems like every "night" in his world, he is now ripped out of his false reality and into your true one. No sleep him, because whenever he enters Home with even the slightest intention to rest after a long day of playing, he's suddenly being picked up by you and brought to the box.

🍎 His friends have noticed, of course. Especially Julie and Frank. His movements are much more sluggish and lethargic. His eyes seem more empty than before. They hear his off-putting mutterings about a world beyond their own, a benevolent being controlling all, the lights above being so bright - harshly so! - and missing the warm, comforting arms of some savior.

🍎 Wally's tried to explain what he has seen, saying otherwise would be a huge lie! Nobody believes him, though. Frank says that he is simply trying to scare them all. Frank says that, back in his home town, they spoke of these puppeteers as a way to keep bad children to behave. They are just little myths and nothing more, which is why he doesn't have any books about them. Why worry about these fake beings when he can learn more about his precious butterflies?

🍎 The only one who cares to listen is Julie. She's concerned for her friend as she looks up to him from her place sitting on a rock. She watches as he moves his arms in extravagant flourishes, emphasizing just how passionate he is about the subject of this benevolent being.

🍎"And then," he begins, spreading his arms out wide before pretending to scoop something up and cradle it, "the being scooped me into their arms! Their arms were warm and smooth! Their skin didn't feel like mine or yours! It was smooth and felt a bit like... I don't know how to explain! It was the warmest thing I ever felt in my entire life!"

🍎 Julie simply chuckles, a strained, forced sound that didn't hold any amusement. Wally knows that she only listens to him because she is concerned for him. She must think he is crazy! That he lost his wits! It doesn't matter, though, because he needs somebody, anybody to talk to about the puppeteer. About the one behind everything he says and does. The one behind everything everybody says and does! If he can't talk about it, he would truly go insane from keeping it all in.

🍎 Wally's words are cut off by Julie's voice saying "Wally, you're scaring me." He could only grow silent, his eyes wide and a desperation building up to just... continue talking about the puppeteer. He holds back, though, watching as she stands up from her seat. The puffy skirt of her dress bounces as she steps over to him, slowly but surely, speaking in a hesitant tone.

🍎"Wally... I love you, and you're scaring me. Poppy loves you and you're scaring her. Barnaby loves you and you're scaring him! EVERYONE here loves you, and you're scaring us! You keep talking about strange, fantastical things. You keep saying that we aren't real... That this puppeteer controls all. That we have no free will? Why are you doing this? Is this a joke? A prank? Please, tell me it's a prank! It wouldn't be a funny one, but it would be better than if you are serious..."

🍎 With a simple shake of the head, Wally seemingly crushed Julie's hopeful spirit. He then continues, explaining "It's because it IS true! Can't you see it? The walls look fake! The flowers don't smell like flowers should! Can't you see that this isn't real? There is more out there!"

🍎 Julie shakes her head, taking a shaking step back as she quietly mutters "I don't know what's really anymore, Wally. You make me think of awful things... That's why you're scaring me. I don't want to think of all this." With that, she leaves in a hurry, almost like she's seen a ghost in the place of her friend.

🍎 Wally, however, is satisfied. She's thinking about what he is saying! Even if she doesn't want to, she is thinking about it. She'll understand one day, hopefully! Even if it is just one other puppet, it is better than being the only one who knows of those bright lights.

🍎 Now, though, it is time for Wally to return to Home. He needs to write more notes to his beloved puppeteer! He can't wait to tell them how one of his friends is thinking about his words! He can't wait to tell them more about how much he loves them! They're the as above to his so below. He... might not know what an "as above" or "so below" is... but he heard one of the other creatures in your world say it, so it must be something cool! Plus, you do stand above all in his little world.

[yelenasdiary]

Once Upon A Dream

Pairing: Military! Yelena Belova x Fem! Nurse! Reader

Summary: Yelena surprises you and shared daughter with a vacation to remember!

Warnings: Teeny Tiny Angst, Fluff, Mentions of scars, Brief Mention of PTSD | 2.3K

Translations: милый (darling), Detka (baby), 

AC: I think this little AU deserves a happy fic, so enjoy! Also friendly reminder, this is the only variant of Yelena that I can see having a child, if this isn’t your vibe, don’t read xx. 

"Where are we going?" you turned to your wife who grabbed the last suitcase from the trunk of the Uber's car. "You'll find out tonight" Yelena replied with a cheeky smirk on her lips, with a shack of your head at her you grabbed your suitcase with your free hand, Natalia holding your other before the three of you walked into the airport. Natalia now a 5-year-old was most excited to be going on her first plane ride rather than finding out what her Mama had planned for the family of three. 

Yelena did everything in her power to keep the surprise from slipping, she checked in the three of you while you sat near the terminal with Natalia. "Mommy when do we get on the plane?" she asked, holding her stuffed Maleficent as a dragon plushie. "You'll have to ask mama peanut, when she gets back" you replied. The little girl with blonde hair and big green eyes threw herself on the seat beside you and huffed making you raise a brow slightly at her little outburst. 

"Everything is all set" Yelena smiled as she sat down beside you, keeping the plane tickets out of view. "Mama, can we get on the plane now?" Natalia asked looking over you to Yelena, "Shortly милый, come here, I have a secret to tell you" Your wife gestured for the little girl to walk over to her with her index finger. Natalia loved secrets, mainly because she loved the tickle feeling she got whenever somebody whispered into her ear. You watched as your daughter's face lit up rather quickly with whatever your wife just whispered to her, she jumped up and down trying to keep herself from squealing which only made your mind run through ideas of what Yelena could possibly have planned. 

The flight was 5.5 hours long, Natalia was asleep with her head resting against your forearm as she slept peacefully between you and Yelena. "She's not going to sleep tonight" you whispered to your wife. 

"I've already got that part covered; don't you worry about a single thing" Yelena winked before her eyes returned to the book in her hand. By now you were just desperate to know what Yelena was up too, she just returned from a 10-month deployment a week ago and ever since coming home she had been very secretive. 

It wasn't until the three of you were in the backseat of another Uber that Yelena finally told you what was happening. With a slightly tired little girl sitting in between you both, Yelena reached into her backpack and pulled out three horned headbands. 

"So, this is where I can't keep the secret anymore" Yelena looked at you, handing you a headbang with a soft smile, "We're spending a week at Disneyland!" she added. Natalia put on her maleficent themed headband and looked up at you with the biggest smile, "Mama said Maleficent will be there!!!" she boosted. You couldn't help but smile before reaching over Natalia and kissing Yelena deeply, "surprise detka" she smiled against your lips. 

Yelena knew how much you've wanted to experience Disneyland with the three of you but the dream had become such a long distant thought over the past few years that you almost forgot all about it. "Thank you" you replied before kissing her again. Yelena had planned everything to perfection, not a single thing was left unthought of. Your little family would be staying in a 2-bedroom suite at Disney's Grand Californian Hotel & Spa and Yelena wasn't lying when she said she had Natalia getting some more sleep covered. 

Once at the hotel, you helped Natalia get into her Moana themed pjs before Yelena reminded her that she needs to get a goodnights sleep before she goes on a magical adventure tomorrow. Of course, only after a bedtime story was the little girl who was almost too much of a spitting image of her mother asleep snuggled into her plushie. 

"Honey" you spoke softly has you unpacked the toiletries and placed them on the bathroom countertop. Yelena came up behind you, instantly wrapping her arms around your waist, "yes my love?" She smiled before placing a kiss on your cheek. It was already getting late, soon to be 10pm and you had no idea what Yelena had planned for tomorrow. You turned in her arms, wrapping your arms around the back of her neck with a bottle of cream in one hand. 

"How long have you had this planned?" You asked with a soft smile. 

"Months, I had Nat help me book stuff while I was away. If you think the surprises stop here, you're wrong" she replied before kissing your lips softly, "Kate is going to fly out here in 2 days and watch Natalia so we can have some time alone" she added. You and Yelena haven't had a decent chance to have some one on one time for a long time, between her deployments, having Natalia & your own deployment, finding time for each other was almost near impossible but you both made do with what you had. 

"You really are full of surprises" your smile grew, "could you please?" You asked, bringing the cream in your hand to Yelena's view. She nodded, "go lay down detka, I'll be there in a moment, just going to brush my teeth" she replied before kissing you deeply once more. This new part of your nightly routine was never your favorite but somehow, Yelena was able to make you forget why she was rubbing cream into the scars on your back. Maybe it was the way she kissed every single one of them before she worked her hands softly and tenderly over them with cream while she told you jokes that she found hilarious. 

Or maybe it was how tightly she held you close to her afterwards, whispering sweet nothings as you fell into a slumber in her protective and loving arms. Either way, she made the process easier. 

——

Natalia was up bright and early at 6am with pure excitement for the day ahead. She slipped out of bed and was quick to her Maleficent horned headband before running into your shaded room with your wife and jumping on the two of you. 

"Mommy wake up!!" She shook you awake before Yelena wrapped her arms around her making her squeal as her mother covered her little face with kisses. "Mama!!! That tickles!!" Your daughter giggled in the arms of your wife while your eyes adjusted to being awake. 

You smiled softly as you watched your wife hop off the bed with your daughter still in her arms, flying her around the room. "Faster Mama!!!" Natalia giggled, her arms spread wide as if she was an airplane. It always amazed you just how much energy Yelena had so early in the morning while it was a bit of a struggle for you to wake up without a warm mug of coffee or tea depending on the weather. 

"Bug do you want a bath this morning or a shower? You didn't haven't one last night" you asked your daughter as Yelena placed her back on her feet and you sat up in bed.

"Shower! I'm a big girl now!" She replied with confidence. 

"I'll help her, you get some coffee into you. We have breakfast reservations at 8" Yelena said as she wandered over to her suitcase. "Can I wear my horns today mama?" Natalia asked as she jumped back up onto the large bed and instantly cuddled you. "I've got the perfect outfit for you sweetheart!" Yelena replied as she turned around with a child sized Maleficent costume in hand, "what do you think?" she asked with a smile. 

Natalia's eyes widened at the costume before she nodded her head ecstatically. Thanks to Kate, Maleficent was your daughter's favorite Disney character, she loved how Maleficent was able to transform into a dragon, it blew her mind when Kate had Maleficent: Mistress of all evil playing in the background once while babysitting Natalia. 

Breakfast was a whole new experience for your little one, Yelena booking a table for 3 at Disney Princess Breakfast Adventure, giving Natalia a breakfast experience that she'll never forget. Entering the restaurant, you were greeted by 2 different princesses and of course, Natalia's eyes lit up when she saw one of them was Aurora. 

She let go of your hand and ran up to the woman in the pink dress, you couldn't help yourself but capture the moment on your phone while your daughter played her role as maleficent and made jokes about putting a spell on the princess. Your eyes looked over to your wife who was watching the event unfold in front of her, a soft smile on her lips and a loving look in her eyes made you realise this trip was something Yelena needed for herself as well. A whole different environment, surrounded by excitement, love and other families to help her forget the events she had experienced recently. 

The rest of the day was spent at Disneyland, Yelena taking Natalia on multiple rides over and over again, shopping of course, stopping every few steps to meet the next famous character walking around the theme park. Everything was so exciting for Natalia, her smile glued to her face the entire day, as for you, you had to capture so many moments on your phone's camera causing a growing excitement to make a scrapbook when you returned home. 

"Can we go again mama?! Pleaseeee?" Natalia begged to go another round on the Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride. 

"We can't detka, we have to get to the Halloween party for your big surprise remember?" Yelena replied with her hand reaching out for your daughter to cling onto. Natalia ran to her mother's side without a second thought, the three of you began to walk towards the Halloween party. The area was surrounded by other Disneyland goers as they all crowed some of the characters standing out the front while others took pictures and videos with them. 

"I can't see mama!" Natalia looked up at Yelena. Natalia was a little shorter than most children her age, but it never usually bothered her until it came to doing things that required her height to be taller. You watched as your wife picked up your daughter and placed her on her shoulders, another moment for you to capture on your phone. 

"Mommy! Mama!! Look!!!" Your daughter pointed with excitement as a woman dressed as Maleficent came out of the building, Natalia's face lit up instantly as she watched the fairy make her presence known. 

"Well, Well" the character spoke, their eyes looking around at the crowd of families and couples. "I don't like children but –" the fairy pointed to your daughter, "you, come here" she added. If Natalia had moved any faster your wife would've dropped her, she placed her on her feet before apologizing to those around her when Natalia pushed her way through to the character that she was dressed as. 

"Hi Maleficent!" Your daughter spoke with high confidence, a wide smile and a little sparkle in her eyes. The woman played the character all too well and Natalia loved every single moment. "Don't you look terribly evil today" Maleficent spoke followed by her famous chuckle, "and what evil things have you done today child?" she asked. 

"I made my mama go on lots of rides!" Natalia boosted making both you and your wife chuckle. 

"Where is your Mama?" Maleficent asked as she looked up at the crowd, "are you mama?" she pointed at Yelena when she saw you both laughing. Yelena nodded, "and that's my mommy!" Natalia added. 

"Well you better come forward, move out of the way people" Maleficent replied as she gestured for you and Yelena to take a few steps forward to get the best quality photos of the moment. 

"Now, maybe you can help me child" the fairy turned to your daughter one more, "have you seen young Aurora around by chance?" she asked. Natalia nodded, "she was at the restaurant I had breakfast at!" 

"Did you cast a spell on her for me?" Maleficent's question followed. 

"Yes! I put a sleeping spell on her!" Your daughter replied, even though she didn't think of such a thing, she was soaking up the moment she was sharing with her favorite villain. "Well done child, keep being evil and have a happy Halloween" Maleficent did her evil laugh once more before posing with Natalia.

----

After dinner at one of Disney's restaurants, the three of you stuck around for a fireworks show at 7pm. You could tell that Natalia would sleep like a log tonight, she was already so tired as you carried her to the viewing spot, Yelena's hands full of the bags of shopping she'd taken you and Natalia to before dinner. All throughout dinner your daughter couldn't stop talking about her meet and greet with Maleficent and you could tell by the look on Yelena's face that she was proud of herself for making sure this little vacation happened. 

As the fireworks began, Yelena wandered over to a nearby bench and sat down with her eyes glued to the ground. You knew the display was triggering her PTSD but before you could do anything, Natalia asked for you to put her down. You watched as she walked over to Yelena, "it's okay mama, I'll keep you safe" You heard her little innocent voice over the fireworks as she wrapped her tiny arms around your wife. Your eyes teared up, Natalia had no idea why her mother disliked fireworks so much, but she knew they scared her and she did exactly what you and Yelena did whenever there was a thunderstorm, be there for her. 

You wandered over to your girls and sat down beside Yelena, placing your head on her shoulder. The three of you watched the firework display, on of Yelena's hands rested on your knee while her other was wrapped around Natalia in a tight hug. "I love you mama" Natalia whispered once the fireworks were over, placing a kiss on her cheek.

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[bluemoondelight]

So, as promised (original post here), here'a little makeup scene that I wrote as a potential ending for my WIP, but it didn't really fit with the rest of the story so I thought I'd post it here as a standalone.

For some context, I thought it would be a really cute idea for Wade to use Mary as a proxy to talk to Logan after a big fight. Logan, of course being the way that he is, moved out because he thought it was over between the two of them but Wade just couldn't stay away. And being the way that he is, can't just own up to his feelings either. Enjoy!

~*~

Logan went to answer the knock on the door, swearing under his breath that if it’s that damn neighbor again–

As he opened it, he felt the wind knock out of him at the sight of Wade holding Mary Puppins. He was prepared to possibly never see him again, to spend the rest of eternity wishing things would have turned out differently, but here he was. God, he looked like shit. He had on his oversized pullover hoodie, baggy black sweatpants, and his blue crocs, which Logan knew meant he had been living in them for a while.

“What are you doing here?” Logan asked, his voice going hoarse.

They stared at each other for a long moment, before Wade lifted up Mary Puppins. “Mary wanted to see her mama again.”

Logan’s eyebrow quirked. “Really?”

Wade looked down and swallowed before he spoke again. “Yeah. She can’t really sleep anymore without her mama there and she’s been crying a bunch because she misses her so much. She wouldn’t have come but Al threatened to shank her and kick her out if she didn’t come and see Mama.”

Logan crossed his arms, keeping his face schooled into a hard scowl. “But Mama thought that Mary didn’t want him–her there anymore. That she was going to be with her old mama and be happy with her.”

Wade steeled himself against Logan’s skeptical gaze. “Well, like Mary told Mama before, Mary still loves her old mama very much and always will, but she was just a friend helping Mary because Mama was being a stoic douchebag who wouldn’t talk to Mary and Mary was going fucking insane. Besides…there’s only one Mama in Mary’s life. And she really wishes that her mama will come home and stay like she promised to.”

“What about her papa?”

Wade's jaw clenched, and tears started welling in his beautiful brown eyes. “Papa thinks that Mary was so fucked up because…why would somebody as hot as Mama want something as fugly as Mary.” Wade gestured with her in his arms. “I mean look at her, she looks like an elephant’s vulva that needs a serious Brazilian wax. Mama could have literally anybody, what would she want with Mary?”

Logan felt tears pricking his own eyes. “Mama wants Mary because she’s the best fucking thing to ever happen to her. Because as fugly as Mary thinks she looks on the outside, Mama feels just as fugly on the inside, and Mary made her believe that she was more than what Mama thought she was.” Logan stepped across the threshold, closer to Wade. “Because Mary is the most beautiful thing Mama’s ever seen, inside and out. And Mama would give anything to make Mary see that.”

Logan let the tears fall down as he cupped Wade’s face. “And Mama would really like to stop talking about Mary right now so that she can kiss her handsome papa, and tell him how sorry she is and how much she loves him.”

Wade sniffed and chuckled, “Well, Papa hasn’t brushed his teeth in three weeks so maybe Mama shouldn’t–” Logan grabbed the back of Wade’s head and smashed their lips together to shut him up, and for good measure, shoved his tongue in to lick the inside of Wade’s mouth. Mary became worked up by all the emotions, and excitedly licked their chins as they kissed.

The two of them walked back to Wade’s apartment, holding hands as the orangey glow of evening slipped into lavender dusk. When they walked in, Al called out to the both of them as she was sitting on the couch watching Family Feud, “About damn time you two got your shit together. Couldn’t take another day of Wade’s moping and bitching around the damn apartment.”

“Thank you, Al. Now if you’ll excuse us, we want to have very loud, very messy makeup sex so if you can please fuck off to your room now, that’d be great.”

Al got up yelling in disgust, “Uh-uh! Don’t you dare get jizz on this couch or I swear to God I’m cutting both your dicks off!”

“No promises! And take Mary with you, we need to preserve her innocence!”

Al puttered off to her bedroom, patting her leg for Mary to follow, “C’mon Mary. I mean it you two! I feel one ounce of dried spunk on that upholstery and your ass is grass!”

Once Al closed the door, Wade and Logan looked at each other, unsure of themselves. The words that they flung at each other hung in the air, echoing in both their minds.

"Um," Wade whispered. "I didn't get to say it before but I'm sorry, too."

Logan huffed and wrapped his arms around Wade's shoulders, pulling him in a soft embrace. "You don't have to apologize, sweetheart. I was the one being a dick and keeping my bullshit to myself. I should've talked to you." He buried his nose in Wade's neck, breathing in his scent deeply. "God, I missed you."

Wade kissed the side of Logan's head. "I missed you, too, peanut." He sighed as he ran his hands around Logan's waist, down his back, then grabbed two handfuls of Logan's ass. "Now that that's out of the way, how about we get it on like two jackrabbits on ketamine?"

Logan laughed as he pulled away and smacked Wade's ass, "After you."