#and now there's only 1 hang left this summer before it stops which i Will make myself go to no matter what
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agayconcept · 1 year ago
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#im rly mad at myself bc i was gonna go to a local queer art hang yesterday#but got halfway to the bus stop and had a full blown panic attack#and had to give up and go home#i know why it happened its bc i had a drs appt earlier in the day that went rly badly and i was already an emotional wreck#but i was rly hoping to make it to that event so i could cheer myself up and make some good good queer connections#but i freaked out instead and had to sit on a curb while i shook like a fuckin chihuahua#and now there's only 1 hang left this summer before it stops which i Will make myself go to no matter what#but still#im just. rly upset bc i wanted to go#i know some of the folks who attend and they're all rly fun and it would've been nice to see them and chill w them again#and im just. very fuckin upset idk#im Disappointed in myself and i Know i shouldnt be but i fucking am#im so stupid mad at mysslf for never being able to handle fucking anything#even when its something i rly rly wanna do#like#its just. getting to the point of devastating#i lost a lot of friends thru covid and my homelessness-mental breakdown-isolation-hospitalization years#and the few i still have r gr8 but i dont rly get to see them often#and i'd like to see them more often but ofc i cant make myself ask that bc oh look another impending panic attack#jfc im just. so done w my brain. i h8 living inside this stupid thing so fucking much its literal hell#I MISS MY FRIENDS#I MISS HAVING COMMUNITY#I FEEL ALONE ALL THE FUCKING TIME#see i can scream that into the internet void just fuckin fine but cant even reach out to ppl to be like 'hey. been a while. sup?'#just. UGHHSHSJSJ#like ya my agoraphobia is 10x worse since i got transphobically assaulted this month but like#even when its not for that reason i am still an anxious MESS all the time#and that shitty drs appt? was a psychiatrist telling me he refuses to prescribe me anxiety meds bc he doesnt trust me on them#and that im too dependent on them to cope/function. ummm. YA MY GUY THATS WHAT THEYRE FOR ??? TF ????#now that im off them i cant be in public w/o hyperventilating. fuck rite off dude i'll find a diff dr to renew the script who isnt a jackass
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osamiiya · 5 months ago
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Poolside Confessions - Atsumu x Reader
Summary: Atsumu’s so concerned about your love life and who you like, he doesn’t consider that it might be him.
Warnings: None! Like one (1) ‘damn’
a/n: i’m so tired from my summer job (edit: forgot to add the summary i’m so sleepy)
———
“Stop! You’ll catch a cold!”
Atsumus voice grows louder as you stop, chest heaving with effort.
He had taken you swimming, a normal hang out instance between the two of you.
And, as time, as it usually does, passed and the sun started to set, the two of you abandon racing and splashing each other in favor of sitting at the ledge of the pool, watching the sun set. The atmosphere is perfect for conversation as the two of you swing your feet in the pool, shivering slightly as the summer night winds begin to pick up.
As friends (although you had hoped for more), it was a common occurrence for him to grill you about who you liked, or which of your friends liked each other. It’s in his nature to be curious about people’s love lives. Even if people (Aran) don’t want to tell him, he’ll figure it out eventually.
You’re used to it by now, but after the fluttering feeling when Atsumu landed a good set happened when he smiled, then when spoke, then when he was… him, increased, you had grown to dread it.
It started off like it usually did:
“Do you have a crush right now?”
“I think so.”
That then led to a smile a smidge more mischievous and evil than it had been before.
“Do I know him?”
“Yeah.”
At this point, Atsumu usually hums in acknowledgment and continues onto whatever mundane topic that comes to head. But, this time, he pushed.
“Is he in our class?”
“Do you know people outside of our class?”
He paused in contemplative thought before laughing and listing those that he knew. You thought it ended there.
“Is it Suna?”
“Ew.”
He laughed so hard he started coughing at that one.
“Tell me.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“Absolutely not.”
His pleads get you to a point where you swear your eye is twitching and your impulse control plummets.
And you kiss him.
You really grab his face and plant one right onto his unsuspecting lips.
There’s a moment of pause, like the world has stopped turning, or someone clicked “pause” on the remote control of life.
And then you run.
You almost trip over your flip-flops, but you don’t. You do, however, forget your towel and cover-up at the pool, running down the street outside the public pool in nothing but flip flops and a bathing suit.
It takes Atsumu a minute, but with his volleyball athleticism, he’s able to catch up to you, arms holding all of the belongings the two of you left at the pool, bag flailing helplessly behind him.
“Wait!”
His voice echos down the empty streets, and your lungs burn with exertion.
“Stop! You’ll catch a cold!”
His voice is stern enough to make you skid to a halt, panting slightly as you take breaths of air.
It takes a couple seconds, but soon Atsumu is caught up, breathless, but he recovers quickly.
“Stupid.” He chastises as you shiver, the wind and night air settling into your skin.
He wraps a dry towel around you like a cape, holding it tight around you until you get the message and hold it yourself.
It’s quiet as he rearranges the things he brought to the pool into his bag, and you take the time to study his expressions and look away. The result is an awkward back and forth between your own feet and Atsumu’s face.
It’s like hours has gone by when it’s only been seconds before Atsumu stands and looks you in the eye.
“Why did you run?”
Your answer is nothing but a mumble, and your eyes decide that the ant crawling on the sidewalk is a better place to look than Atsumu.
He leans in, ducking so that his face fills your vision, and he stays there for a moment, simply looking. Atsumu studies your face, looking from your eyes to your nose, taking in its slope, to your lips. It’s as if they’re the most interesting thing to him as he studies them intensely, as if deciding what he would name the color of your lips.
“What are you doing?” Your voice is a whisper, and your breath fans across his lips.
His eyes snap to yours at your words, and a hand comes up to cup your cheek. Atsumu’s palm is warm and slightly calloused. And, it shakes slightly as his thumb brushes your cheekbone with the most care he’s ever used with his hands.
“Thinking of doing something stupid.”
Atsumu’s eyes then drop to your lips, as if he’s already gotten addicted to simply the proximity to them.
His hand shifts so his thumb can brush over your bottom lip gently. It’s slow, and you’re sure he can feel every crack, ridge, and texture your lips hold.
He leans in slightly, hand shifting to hold your jaw as his lips hover over yours.
His voice comes out in a hoarse whisper, as if he’s Atlas, and your face is his world.
“You’re so damn beautiful.” He chokes out before his eyes fully shut and he presses chapped lips to yours.
It’s a small thing, but softer and gentler than the kiss you had given him, what seems like almost decades ago.
He pulls away, but his eyes stay half lidded and trained on your lips. His hand doesn’t dare to move.
“The sun set.”
You risk a glance to the side, past Atsumu’s head, and sure enough, inky black sky and bright stars greet you.
The nod you give him has Atsumu leaning in again, capturing your lips in his. It’s warm in his grasp, and his other hand comes up to rest on your waist.
When you pull away, Atsumu chases the feeling of your lips slightly before opening his eyes.
“Please tell me that I’m the one you like.”
“That much should’ve been obvious right now.” You snort, leaning into his touch.
His smile sends butterflies into your stomach, and he licks his bottom lip slightly before cocking his head slightly to the left.
“Let’s get you home.”
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boop-le-snoot · 2 years ago
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masterlist
cherry pt. 1 🍒
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gif by @taiturner
touch-starved!fem!reader x touch-starved, shy daryl dixon. this is pure tooth-rotting fluff with protective daryl, set somewhere in alexandria. the reader is a medic, this is a sweet build-up to smut which is going to be in part 2.
3.5k words, suitable for everyone. reader is referred to as "she", written in 3rd person, mostly daryl's pov, all lowercase. title from the lana song cherry because lana + norman = *author barks incoherently and descends into insanity*
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her knee landed between his legs with a soft thud. the meat of his thigh surrounded by her legs as he sat under the yellow overhead lamp, daryl's chest rose and fell steadily, caramel skin marred by a deep red welt.
he stunk like bloody sweat, moist soil and gunpowder and lead.
"I'll inject a local," she mumbled, tapping on the glass vial before inserting the syringe and filling it up with a clear liquid, "you gonna need some twenty stitches, boyo."
"you dun' hafta," he, nonetheless, winced; the welt went across his chest, over his pectoral and almost to his collarbone. all and all, far from the worst he's had.
painkillers were a luxury, better spent on someone else, someone not like him. but he knew better than to argue with a medic (or someone filling the position of one, for that matter).
the woman's scent enveloped his senses in an opaque fog of sweet summer sweat over sharp, cheap laundry powder. something bitter, like rosemary and thyme, something sweet, like cherries and wine.
daryl's eyelashes fluttered as the needle pierced his skin: once, twice, five times, all around the jagged edges of the torn wound. the breath he was holding in left his mouth in a humid huff.
her hands, so gentle, prodded at the edges of his hurt until he could answer her question of 'feel anything?' negative, honestly. briefly, the acrid stench of rubbing alcohol overshadowed everything else as she sterilized everything, the tools and him, to the best of her ability.
he opened his eyes.
"now," she lifted her clever eyes, surveying the scene, "I'm gonna perch myself here," she moved that much closer, one knee between his legs, the other on the side of his leg; hovering over the same leg, facing his reclined torso, "you tell me if you're uncomfortable. that's the only light here, I don't mean to invade your personal space like that."
he could have laughed, if not for the risk of disrupting her careful stitching of his flesh.
"don'tcha worry 'bout it, pretty girl," his voice gravelly low, daryl did his best to stay still.
she chuckled softly, "bet you say that to anyone who can stitch you up in an even line."
"no," he scoffed, surprising himself, "jus' you. rick's hardly a pretty girl."
her hands stilled, eyes momentarily darting to his. the yellow light reflected in them, giving her pupils a red-hot gleam, as if devil himself had taken a sharp turn and went to seek refuge inside her instead of coming down to georgia.
he studied it, studied his own blurry, open-mouthed, panting reflection in the pupils of the woman currently perched atop his lap. then the realisation hit him, like a derailed runaway train, and he immediately withdrew to count the cracks in the ceiling.
she cleared her throat, resuming the rhythmical push and pull of the needle.
"didn't know rick could do that."
daryl attempted to shrug - stopping it before the motion reached his shoulders - and grunted instead.
she continued to stitch, the suddenly pregnant silence punctuated by the crinkling of a wrapper. an extra large, sterile bandaid was placed over the wound after she applied something green and foul-smelling atop the now-closed gash; his grunted query was met with a curt,
"antiseptic."
and he was let go with instructions to return the next day for a dressing change.
he lied to himself. he waited until it was dark to show up the next day, well into the summer night, just to be placed in the same position - under the lone hanging lamp, under her.
cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme, complimented by a trail of herbal tea. she smelled like peaches, too, this time. or, perhaps, it were the blooming trees outside her window that snuck their sweet aroma indoors.
"healing nicely," she remarked off-handedly, seemingly oblivious to the rising level of his tension and his inner turmoil. "the pain not too bad? you seem grumpy. grumpier than usual."
this time, he waited until she removed herself from his form to bark a terse laugh.
"no, pretty girl," he eyed her in the dusky, dusty room and received a crooked smile for his troubles, "long day 'is all."
"tell me about it," she huffed, shoulders sagging a bit more than he would have liked.
"who's the prick bothering ya?" he couldn't help it, his mind immediately went... places. surely, he wasn't the only one who noticed her pretty.
"no-one but my own damn brain," she scoffed, seemingly at herself, "and maybe the dick from number 17. it's like he's doing it on purpose."
"doin' what now?" daryl's voice dropped, his eyes squinted. his palm migrated to the handle of his knife, a gesture utterly subconscious.
"gettin' injured," she grumbled, no real heat behind her words, "got shot with a dart last week, sprained his ankle on a routine perimeter check today. how did that man serve 6 years in the army is beyond me."
daryl's head tilted as his chest tensed, heart thudded uncomfortably against his ribs.
"isn't carol taking care of all the broken bones?" he asked, tone laced with suspicion.
she turned to face him; he felt, more than saw, the annoyed roll of her eyes.
"he demands a real doctor," the woman shook off the wrapper before leaning back into him and placing it over his wound in one swift, irritated gesture, "how come nobody's told him I'm just a good faker? everyone knows by this point. all he does is waste resources-"
"woah, woah," daryl's voice rose briefly as he attempted to halt the incoming ramble. not that he didn't want to hear what she had to say, it was just unusual to see the quiet woman so... not herself.
"sorry," she shot immediately, looking away, "he just gives me the creeps. I know it's mean but-"
"no," daryl shook his head immediately, "if he's botherin' you, he's botherin' you and he needa back off."
she chuckled as she leaned back to observe the results of her work. her eyes were tired and a little ashamed. "say whatchu want but you southern fellas are real gentlemen," her smile was soft.
nobody has ever spoken to him like that, much less referred to him as a gentleman. through the momentary awe, daryl let the corners of his lips tilt up in a closed-lipped, shy smile.
he didn't return the next day, and the day after, having been deemed healthy enough by rick to be sent off to hunt some game - all activities classified as "takin' it easy" by the community leader. people needed food, growing kids needed the protein.
the gash on his chest bled a little, not much, and the scab that formed afterwards looked proper, thick and healthy.
as he reached the gates upon his return, he could make out some shouting just on the border of the little gated town. a few voices did their best to be heard, one right over the other.
"whazzat?" he quizzed the guard.
"lil doctor lady," the guard responded, frowning, squinting into the distance, "and big john, arguin' over something. dunno what. rick's there too."
daryl did not like the sound of that. he didn't like that at all. he dumped the three deer right there on the muddy ground as soon as he crossed the threshold of the safe zone, powerwalking towards the arguing trio.
"... 'm tellin' ya, rick, she's makin' shit up! I risk my life every day goin' out and patrollin', getting the damn supplies so she could patch me up like she's s'posed to!" big john, red in the face and fists clenched, stood looming over rick as he defended himself to the unimpressed sheriff, "'s'not like I broke my damn arm on purpose!"
immediately, daryl's bullshit meter went off as alarms blared in his head at full volume. big john's words were a little too loud, a little too passionate.
rick's eyes darted towards daryl's rapidly approaching form; that was all he needed to know about the situation.
"if that were true, you'd have no problem with carol attending to you, man," for the time being, rick successfully played the good cop.
"she's not even a real doctor!"
"neither am I!" the woman finally spoke up, shooting a glance at daryl, too, as her shoulders dropped slightly.
"hey, what's your fuckin' problem?" daryl finally stomped close enough for big john to jump at his words.
"none of your damn business," he shot back immediately, switching to stare down at the woman. it wasn't hard for him to make her shrink: his name was big john for a reason.
"don't bother tha nice lady," daryl scoffed, straightening up, "least you want a fuckin' knuckle sandwich. first and final warning."
"oh, fuck you man," big john turned to daryl, taking a step towards the archer, chest puffing out with the force of his rage. his left hand was in a makeshift cast; the right one rose, rapidly flying, aimed at daryl's face.
it didn't take the archer much effort to side-step the large man. he was immediately responding with a punch of his own.
big john staggered, taking a couple of unsteady steps back; within the next second, another punch connected with his face, sending blood and snot flying as he fell on the ground noisily.
"that's enough!" rick yelled, pulling on daryl's shoulder.
for the time being, the archer was content to let himself be steered away from the fight.
somewhere behind him, a feminine voice mumbled something less-than-polite, sighing, as she joined rick in pulling him away from big john.
"you stay away from her, dipshit!" daryl added hotly, "fuckin' weirdo."
"c'mon big guy," she cooed softly, nodding to rick as she steered him towards her house, "let's get you cleaned up."
he let her drag him indoors, towards the kitchen sink where the smell of herbs was the most potent. throughout the dirt and grime that always followed his hunts, it was a welcome respite. earthy and natural in the best, the most tender of ways.
the woman checked his knuckles, tugging on his big, meaty hand to place it under a stream of cold tap water; his skin was clear, once the grime and blood and dirt was washed off. a coupla punches was nothing, his knuckles too seasoned to sustain an injury from something as simple as a fistfight.
in broad daylight, there was no need for her to perch atop him to check the wound on his chest.
daryl swallowed, following her hands with his eyes. in her pristine, clean kitchen, he'd never felt more out of place as she moved aside the neck of his sweat-stained shirt and touched the soft skin of her fingertips to the scab, checking for infection.
the corners of her mouth finally, finally tilted up. an angry, upset expression had no place on her face; daryl could feel himself deflate as the cloud over the head of the little doctor lady finally, finally dissipated.
"you didn't even tear the stitches, I'm impressed," she complimented him softly, brushing the shirt collar back in place and smoothing it out with her palm, "they're dissolvable, luckily. go wash up and come back, I'll put some antibiotic ointment on it just in case. okay?"
her touch burned, but it was a sweet sort of fire. the kind that remained in his mouth after a particularly delicious batch of spicy wings, blooming as he took a deep breath.
he wanted to chase it with his tongue.
his nostrils flared as he exhaled.
"okay, dar?"
she had a nickname for him. she stared at him with those round, trusting eyes, not knowing that in truth, he was no better than big john.
daryl's cheeks flamed.
"okay," he mumbled, unable to refuse her anything when her eyes.., "dun look at me like dat."
"like what?" she frowned again and oh no, this was so much worse than the earnest concern written plain as day on her face just seconds ago.
his heart hammered in his chest. his fingers twitched. he swallowed the lump in his throat, shuffled his feet.
"cya," finally, his legs cooperated! he ran out of the house like the coward that he was.
he didn't come back as she'd requested. he couldn't. instead, he stubbornly stood under an ice cold stream of water, as long as could manage - and it did exactly nada for his racing thoughts or his traitorous body.
the soap carol had made smelled like herbs.
it smelled like the kitchen where tender fingers prodded at his skin, where soft hair briefly brushed his cheek, where the overhead lamp illuminated a halo around the head of the woman that found a home inside his head on most nights.
dusk fell over the settlement as a knock disturbed the miniscule amount of peace he'd managed to find for himself in the darkness of the basement.
"daryl?" rick's voice yelled, "I gotta favour to ask!"
he was there in an instant. "whassup?"
"the doctor lady. big john's bin runnin' his mouth since dinner, ion like it. I think he's gonna be up to no good."
what daryl liked about rick was his straightforwardness and common sense. such concern had place to be. daryl nodded, walking inside to put on a clean shirt and pick up his crossbow.
"I appreciate it," rick clapped him on the shoulder, "I'd stick around myself but judy is teething and michonne has been up for three nights already, m'afraid she's gonna..."
"no probl'm, rick, ah get it," daryl cut off the rambling man, "you go take care of your baby girl."
as daryl made way to the woman's house, his mind switched to defense mode effortlessly. he knew just the perfect spot to perch himself in, away from prying eyes and well within the observation range of the entries to her house. it wasn't the most comfortable of spots but summer nights were warm and the birdsong from the trees provided a childhood sort of comfort under the clear, dark skies.
as he prepared to settle in, the main door to her house cracked open.
she wore short, thin cotton shorts and a worn out t-shirt and nothing else, a steaming cup of tea clutched securely between her palms. her eyes immediately landed on his dark figure attempting to blend into the dusky underbrush.
"I thought you'd be a no-show," she remarked, a playful tone colouring her voice.
daryl had enough conscience to look sheepish. "uhh," he replied, eloquently, taking a hesitant step towards her house. the light breeze blew the hot fumes of her tea right into his nose, momentarily clouding his judgement. he barely could tear his eyes away from the soft, unblemished skin of her legs.
"c'mon," she waved him in, and he followed, obedient, quiet, like a puppy. she made a brief stop at the stove before pushing a cup into his hands, "I made some tea. not terribly sweet for you, I hope. you seem like a black coffee kinda guy."
the upbeat, companionable chatter sent daryl's head reeling. it's like she was completely oblivious to his clumsiness, to his bluntness, to the awkwardness that seemed to take deep root in his bones whenever he was in her presence.
he took a sip, a courtesy, as she made him sit in that recliner chair again, her body warm and comfortable above him. isn't that what you wanted, moron? his head screamed at him, the annoying voice eerily similar to his late brother's.
"it's okay to let me know you're uncomfortable," she spoke quietly as she moved aside the collar of his shirt once more.
he shivered, it's not like he could help himself. "wha?"
"not everyone likes to be... touched," she briefly looked up, then back again as she rubbed the salve around his scabs, sharp chemicals and plastic disturbing the peaceful aroma of her herbal tea, "my ma used to yell at me to, like... stop hugging random people. sometimes I forget that not everyone is perfectly fine with jus' bein' groped."
"hmm," he managed, struggling not to sound like all of his christmases just had arrived at once. she wanted to touch him. well, not just him-
"these days, I'm not particularly keen on that either, but eventually, the touch starvation catches up to me. I'm just glad that, like, carol and rosita don't freak out or anything, when I play octopus with 'em."
"it's... okay," he had to drink to clear his throat, inhale to clear his mind. "ion mind, pretty girl," daryl tried for a smile and was sure it came more like a grimace. he desperately needed practice in that department.
she chuckled, a dulcet little noise, before her eyes shot up to his. whatever she was looking for, she found it; her hands, done with healing his external wounds, stroked slowly over his shoulders, mapping the broad, muscular expanse of them in one fluid motion. the tips of his hair tickled the tops of her palms.
with only a thin cotton barrier separating daryl's skin from hers, it was as close to heaven as he will ever allowed to be. the cup in his hand scalded his rough palms, hot ceramic burning through the callouses: it was like an afterthought of pain and nothing more.
her fingers connected behind his neck, the pads rubbing over the tense muscle there. the groan left his mouth unnoticed by him, until he could feel the smile on her face bloom just like the flowers outside her window.
"you like that?"
"mmm," he managed, weakly. something inside of him was crumbling. maybe it was the tea that had filled his veins with melted sugar and liquified the strong resolve to not let someone like her be tainted by someone like him.
she kept on kneading his neck and shoulders, like a damn cat working graveyard shift at the biscuit cookie factory.
daryl's deep inhale moved his whole body.
she staggered, brief and sweet, tilting heavily into him to keep up her balance and stop herself from falling over. graceful, she was not.
he was met with a parted mouth, so sweet and red and plump, like ripe cherries; right over his nose, just out of reach, sinful and tantalising in it's own right. the pink, moist meat of her tongue was tucked into the corner of it as her eyes narrowed, something between relief and concentration.
seeing him look, the mouth stretched into a smile, making it that much sweeter. she was looking at him, again, like- like that.
her hands faltered, she swayed in place; daryl's instincts got the better of him and he secured her, one hand holding her body by the hip to steady the sudden bout of clumsiness.
"m'sorry, imma klutz," she looked away sheepishly.
he squeezed her hip on response, letting her know it was okay. and it really was more than that: much to his wide-eyed wonder. he felt like he was the one who should be doing the apologizing. but not only did she not shake off his hand, oh no, she leaned further into him, her belly almost touching his bent forearm.
it took a gargantuan amount of effort just to not pull her in all the way. she was most inviting to touch, all soft curves courtesy of semi-regular meals and tender skin despite the blazing summer sun.
daryl's thumb moved up and down the cotton of her shorts absent-mindedly. the sweet little sighs falling from her lips were hard to miss. almost as if it was someone else pushing her into his arms, a well-meaning ghost perhaps; she tilted in on herself to soak up the warmth of his large, hot body.
a trail of goosebumps ran across his scalp, starting from the place she was rubbing gentle circles into it - at the back of his head, where his hairline met his nape. if he was capable of purring, he would.
instead, he groaned again, eyelashes fluttering, casting a moving shadow on his sharp cheeks. his reward was an equally-content sounding sigh as it drafted into his nose, warm and earthy.
the empty cup thudded against the table where he placed it.
her fingers parted his hair gingerly, taking great care to avoid potential tangles. some finer, smaller hairs still pulled, taking some of his self-deprecation and resolve with 'em as the motion traversed his body in a jolt and settled somewhere deep inside the pit of his belly.
this was getting dangerous.
daryl opened his eyes and stared up.
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minieverse · 4 months ago
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pairing: idol!jeongin x fem!reader
genre: angst (with good ending)
warnings: stress, anxiety, reader gets hurt by words, cursing, crying
~Jeongin gets stressed with work and takes it out on you by mistake~
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Reader
It was currently 2:15am and i was still waiting for Jeongin to come back home from his dance practice and vocal lessons. I know their new album will drop soon and they all get anxious but he’s overdoing it I don’t even know if he grabbed anything to eat before he left
I’ve been trying to call him for the past 2 hours but he never answers but he has seen my texts which is weird, he always answers he hates leaving me on seen. All i want is for him to get home and eat properly, he’s beating himself up with all these practices from 2pm to God knows when
I’ll just watch a movie and wait for him
Jeongin
10+ missed calls from “y/n💕”
Helloooo!? 1:10am
Babe where are you? 1:30am
7 missed calls from “y/n💕”
You are reading my text why are you not answering? 2:00am
Jeongin where the fuck are you 2:15am
It’s 2:40 and i’m driving home, i couldn’t get the choreography right and it was frustrating, what is more frustrating is that i can’t concentrate with my phone blowing up
I kept making mistakes and now i have to practice on my day off
she’s calling again
“oh for fucks sake” i whisper to myself and answer the phone “where the fuck have you been Jeongin!” “stop yelling okay i was in practice” i try to calm her down, i’m way too tired for this “in this hour?” i sigh and rub my eyes with my hand “yes y/n i have work to do okay, i have shit to practice for” keeping calm is way harder than it looks “you better be here in 5” she yells and hangs up, i put my phone on my pocket and start driving back home
Reader
As soon as i hanged up the phone i went to the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm down
The door unlocks and his tired figure walks in to our apartment taking of his shoes and placing his back on the ground, he doesn’t look at me at all and just walks at our shared bedroom, i rub my face and follow him “care to tell me why are you this late?” i ask him calmly “for the thousand time, i was practicing is it that hard to understand?” he looks at me, his eyes piercing my skin “Jeongin it’s 3am you can’t be practicing until-” “for Gods sake shut up, i’m working okay im doing my job can you stop being so damn annoying? i can’t fucking concentrate when you blowing up my phone like that i keep making mistakes and now i have to work more” he yells at me, he hasn’t yelled at me before always keeping his cool and being calm, there is silence for a few seconds, the phrase “can you stop being so annoying?” echoing in my mind “okay i- im sorry i’ll leave you alone” i say as i grab my pillow and walk to the guest room to lay down
I’ve always been called annoying because i care too much, Jeongin knows that and i thought i was over it until i heard him saying it it kind of broke my heart. Silence filled the dark apartment, the only sound of life was me turning around trying to get comfortable but that was impossible, i can’t sleep without him and after that fight
I got up to grab a snack when Jeongin exit our room “hey” he said quietly walking towards me “hi” i answered trying to avoid his eyes “look i’m sorr-” “i think you’re right i’ve being annoying you i’ll leave you alone to think and get your job done” i say and quickly walk to the guest room
Sleeping was hard but i managed to rest, by the time i woke up Jeongin was already gone so it gave me time to make myself breakfast and take some of my stuff to the guest room, since his program was unstable i didn’t know when he was coming back so i took a shower trying to get the thoughts out of my head. The time passed so slowly with me trying to force myself to be busy so i don’t get into my thoughts that i had to make lunch, i don’t work these days since it’s summer holidays so i take charge of the house, i finished with cooking but i lost my appetite knowing that he can live without talking to me so i just locked myself in the guest room crying myself to sleep again.
Jeongin
It was 3:30pm and i was packing up from practice, my phone all dry, i kept checking hoping i’d see her name pop up on the screen but nothing, i know i asked for this and it’s my fault but i can’t bare it, i almost started to cry until Lee know hyung came over me “what’s wrong? you look upset” he questioned sitting down next to me “it’s just problems in my relationship i’ll be okay” i answer trying to control my trembling voice and teary eyes “cmon i know you better than that, it’s okay to let your feeling out” he looked at me and i lowered my head, it was getting harder to control my tears until i burst.
I started crying uncontrollably in my hands while Lee know was rubbing my back “everything is okay let it all out and tell me what’s wrong” he said trying to calm me down, after a few minutes there were just sniffles echoing in the practice room “i called her annoying hyung, the person i love the most, i hurt her, i could see it in her eyes i fucked up” i said trying not to cry again and he sighed “Jeongin yes you did probably hurt her but you can fix it, i know you can do grab your things calm down and go fix it hm?” he told me with a serious look “y-yes i’m going” i wiped my tears thanked him and run to my car to drive home
When i walked inside there was no sign of life, i saw food prepared and it made me even more guilty, i kicked off my shoes and walked to our shared bedroom hoping to see her there and apologise but there was no one there, some of her stuff were gone. I got worried and searched the whole apartment until i found her in the guest room sleeping, i sighed in relief and sat next to her sleeping body
“I’m really sorry for what i said” i stated of my apology “i hope you know that i didn’t mean it, i was stressed and i let it out on you i-” i took a deep breath trying not to cry “i shouldn’t have yelled or called you annoying in any case because i love you and all you do is love and care for me” my voice trembling again and tears staining my cheeks “i love you so much and i promise to never do that again, and i’m also gonna say this after you wake up but” i pose for a second and kiss her forehead “i want you to know that i’m sorry” i wipe my tears and get up
Reader
“don’t leave” i say calmly while looking at him turning around “y- you were awake?” he asked wiping more tears “well you were running around in the apartment like a maniac” i chuckled “oh i’m sorry” he smiled weakly “ i know that you were stressed and that you didn’t mean it it just hurt” i get up and walk towards him “i’m sorry” he hugs me tight, God i missed this, as he pulls away i kiss him passionately, i can feel his smile in the kiss.
“So wanna go grab ice cream!?” he asks “what kind of question is that of course i want!” i grab my phone and run to put my shoes on
everything can be fixed, even the worst situations but both sides really have to put effort
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I haven’t posted in a while sorry!!🦊Thank you for all the support angels🤍
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justagalwhowrites · 2 years ago
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Lavender - Ch. 1
Went a bit sideways yesterday with my wandering mind and started a TLOU fanfic. Here's chapter 1 of "Lavender," an age-gap grumpy/sunshine friends-to-lovers (and eventually friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers) fanfic that starts pre-outbreak.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Length: 8.6k
Warnings: Not much yet! Whole fic will be very NSFW so minors DNI. This chapter is very basic. Mild violence, mention of masturbation.
Synopsis: You're a college student in Austin, Texas, who gets a summer job nannying Sarah Miller. It's not long before her dad sees you as more than a babysitter - or more than a friend.
Austin, Texas, April, 2000
You couldn’t believe you were doing this. You closed your eyes, tilting your head up toward the Texas night sky, air surprisingly cool for April in Austin, trying to keep the tears that were building in your eyes from actually falling. Like that would make a damn difference. You took a deep breath and looked down at your phone. 
You only had a few numbers saved. You hadn’t made many friends in college, the only girlfriend you had was in the frat house behind you, hanging out with her boyfriend. She was out. Your grandmother was across the country, so she was obviously out. The handsy guy who’d brought you to this damn party was a big hell no. Which pretty much left…. Joel Miller. Your boss. You winced, thumb hovering over the call button for a moment before pressing it. 
“Kid?” He answered quickly. That somehow made it worse. But at least he didn’t sound half asleep. “What’s going on, you OK?” 
“Hey Joel,” you sniffled a bit. “Sorry to bug ya, I know it’s real late…” 
“Kid,” his tone changed, almost warning you. “I told you you could call if you needed somethin’, what’s goin’ on?” 
His accent got stronger when he got keyed up. You’d noticed that over the year you’d known him. 
“Could you…” Shit, you were really going to have to do this. You sniffed again. “Could you come get me?” The words all started coming out of you in a rush then, you couldn’t really stop them. “I’m so sorry, I know it’s late and I think I can walk it if you can’t but I went to this party with this guy and he’s not really what I thought he was and I just can’t stay here with him anymore and…” 
“Kid,” he cut you off. “I’m coming to get you right now, are you close to campus?” 
“Yeah,” you sniffed again, looking back at the frat house and reading him the house number. 
“I know where that’s at,” he said. His voice was calm, soothing. “I’ll be there in less than 10, you safe?” 
“Yeah,” you nodded even though he couldn’t see. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just need to get out of here…” 
“Stay put,” he said. “I’m comin’ to get you.” 
“Thanks, Joel.” 
You flipped your phone shut and put it in your purse before smoothing the back of your sundress down and sitting on the curb, hoping the plethora of cars on the street blocked you from easy view. Your feet - in platform sandals that you’d been stupid enough to paint your toenails for earlier that day - were in a puddle, but it was hard to care. 
You were just finishing up your junior year of college and this was only the fourth guy you’d gone out with so of course he had to be a massive jerk. It was just your luck. 
You’d expected a bit better when you moved to the Lone Star State to go to school. It had been a change of pace from your small town in upstate New York where you’d lived with your grandmother all your life. You wanted something bigger, to actually get out of that little town and see some of the world before you settled into whatever life had in store for you. And the south was supposed to be nice. That’s what everyone said, southern hospitality and all that. But it hadn’t been very nice. 
You’d tried to make friends with your roommate freshman year and you kind of had. She wasn’t mean or anything, you just had very little in common. She was an athlete so the demands on her time were many. She was studying music when you’d rather jump off a bridge than try to perform anything for anyone. She had a lot of friends there already - she was from Houston, so plenty of her high school classmates were there, too. You’d probably spent a little too much time trying to fit in with her. By the time it was apparent that you were fine as roommates but not friends, everyone else seemed to have friends, too. 
Which wasn’t the end of the world. You’d only had two close friends back home, anyway. You’d never been very social, preferring to be on your own and quiet instead of with people. Too much time with anyone else exhausted you, unless it was the RIGHT person. 
But there was a difference between alone and lonely and you found yourself lonely here a lot. The dating scene was, somehow, worse. The first guy you’d gone out with since coming to school hadn’t even made it past date number one, he was so self absorbed it was like you had been taken to dinner just so he had someone to talk at. Number two ended up asking for your roommate’s number when he walked you back to your dorm that night. Number three had made it as far as date number three but got a little ticked that - when his hand traveled up your shirt to your bra - you’d asked him to stop. He left you at a gas station and you’d had to call a cab to get back to your apartment. 
The guy tonight had been looking a bit better. Or so you thought. He’d pressed you against the wall in the hall outside your front door and kissed you at the end of your last date, his hips against yours, his tongue dipping into your mouth. You’d liked it, for a moment, until he pinned your wrist to the wall and tried to put his hand down your pants. He’d stopped and apologized, though, when you asked him to stop. That, you’d thought, was a good sign. That he was respectful, kind. So when he’d asked you to go to a party with him tonight, you’d said yes. 
But when you actually got there, he kept trying to get you to drink whatever concoction had been mixed directly in coolers in the middle of the room, pressing red plastic cups into your hand at every opportunity and getting more and more frustrated when you insisted on sticking with bottled water instead. 
Eventually, his hand had gone up the back of your dress as you threw a ball in beer pong, his fingers brushing against your lower lips before sliding up and groping your ass. You whiffed the shot, practically jumping away from him. 
“What the fuck, Jeremy?” You asked, tugging your dress down on instinct. 
“C’mon baby,” he’d said, all but stalking after you. “You gotta give me something…” 
“No, I don’t,” you glanced around you. There wasn’t much help to be had here. “I’m going home.” 
“Don’t be like that,” he said, reaching for you. You stepped back again. Then there was a change in his face, like a switch flipped. He was no longer the nice boy who’d, for your first date, asked to take you to the art house movie theater in town. He was a hulking man, one who had six inches and at least 100 pounds on you, who felt he could take what he wanted by right. “I just want to make sure you have a good time, let’s get you a drink…” 
His hand closed around your wrist and he started pulling you toward him. 
“I don’t want a drink,” you curled the hand in his grip into a fist and covered it with you other hand, yanking it free. “I’m going home. Don’t call me again.” 
You stalked out of the party, trying to keep your cheeks from burning. 
The 10 minute wait for Joel seemed like an eternity. You kept glancing to your watch, feeling like ages had gone by when it had only been a minute or two. Only eight minutes had passed when you heard your name being called from behind you. You winced, hoping Jeremy wouldn’t find you where you’d tucked yourself away to wait. 
No such luck. 
“Hey!” He prowled over to you, his lips curled into a snarl. “Who the fuck do you think you are, embarrassing me like that?” 
You stood up, instinctively backing into the truck behind you before you realized that you probably should have fucking moved somewhere else before you were cornered. 
“I wasn’t trying to embarrass you…” 
He grabbed your wrist again, firmer this time, his fingers digging into your flesh, pulling you sharply against his body. 
“Well, you did,” his breath smelled like liquor and cigarettes and his body was hard. You squirmed, trying to get away from him. “You really fucking embarrassed me…” 
“Hey!”
A car door slammed and your head whipped around. Joel was storming across the sidewalk toward you, wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt - he hadn’t even stopped to put on shoes. 
“This isn’t your business,” Jeremy snapped before turning his attention back to you. “Stay out of it.” 
“The hell it ain’t,” one of Joel’s hands went over your shoulder, pulling you back from the other man’s grip and putting you behind him. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave her alone.” 
Joel looked to you, his brown eyes wide as they looked you over. 
“You OK?” He asked. You nodded. “This the guy?” You nodded again. His jaw clenched but he nodded toward his truck. “C’mon Kid, let’s go.” 
“Nah man, I don’t know you,” Jeremy came around you, grabbing your wrist again and yanking on you. “You’re not just gonna take off with my date…” 
Joel punched him, hard, across the face before catching you around the waist so you stayed up while Jeremy fell to the ground, groaning and clutching his face. Joel set you down gently before standing over Jeremy. “Touch her again and I’ll kill you,” his voice was oddly calm. You just stood there, holding your sore wrist to your chest. You hadn’t realized when you’d started almost hyperventilating but you were almost gasping for breaths. Joel turned back to you. “You’re OK, Kid. You’re OK.” 
He put his arm around you, pulling you into his side and steering you to his truck. He helped you up into it, watching as you buckled yourself in before getting into the driver’s seat. 
“That asshole know where you live?” He ground his teeth a bit, flexing his hand he’d punched Jeremy with on the steering wheel. 
“Yeah, he picked me up,” you were still holding your wrist. “Is your hand OK?” 
Joel glanced over to you before looking down to his hand. 
“Been in worse fights than that,” he said. “How’s your wrist? Need to take you to the hospital?” 
“Oh God, please don’t,” you groaned. “It’s just going to be a little bruised…” 
“Should report it to the cops,” he muttered. “That fucking asshole…” 
“And, what, get you arrested for laying him out?” You asked, brows raised. “It’s fine, Joel, really…” 
“Well I’m not taking you to your place,” he growled. “Not safe, not with that… You can stay with us for a bit. You said you’re moving soon, anyway, right?” 
“I really don’t want to put you out…” You began but he cut you off. 
“You half live there in the summer anyway,” he said. “I’d rather know you were safe. ‘Sides, Sarah’s at a friend’s house tonight. You can sleep in her room, don’t even have to put anyone on a couch. When do you get into your new place?” 
“Three weeks,” you sighed. “It’s really not that big a deal, this kind of thing happens all the time…” 
“Don’t make it right,” he glanced over at you again before putting his eyes back on the road. “You can stay with us for a few weeks, we’ll go get some of your stuff tomorrow.” 
You watched him for a moment. There was blood on his knuckles, the streetlights outside catching on the shaggy curl of his hair, his eyes narrowed on the road in front of him. 
It was lucky that you’d ended up working for Joel Miller. You’d know that before, too. He’d put an ad in the paper a year before, looking for a nanny for his then 9-year-old daughter, Sarah, and you’d been looking for a way to not take out more student loans. A simple enough arrangement. 
You’d met for the first time at a coffee shop near campus. You showed up a few minutes early - you always did, being late made you anxious - and Joel showed up a few minutes late. You’d recognized him by the look of general discomfort on his face, a look that made you smile a little. He was clearly out of his element, interviewing nannies, looking around a coffee house filled with college girls so that he wouldn’t even know which one to approach. You saved him the trouble. “Mr. Miller?” You asked, brows raised. You’d worn a sundress that day, too. But you’d put on the only blazer you owned with it, trying to look somewhat professional. Not that you really knew how. “Hi, I’m here for the interview?” 
“Hi,” he looked relieved. “Sorry I’m late, got held up on a job… Can I get you a coffee or… somethin’? I’m gettin’ somethin’…” 
“Sure,” you smiled. “Thanks.” 
You stood awkwardly beside each other in line, Joel insisting you order first which made you feel bad when you got an iced lavender latte and he just got a black coffee. 
“Sorry, I’m such a sucker for lavender,” you smiled, somewhat sheepishly, over your cup. “There’s a lavender farm down the street from where I grew up, could always smell it on the air at the right time of year…” 
You were babbling. You set the cup down. 
“Sorry,” you smiled again. 
“No, no, you’re good,” he smiled a little too. “I’ve never done this before, so…” 
“Me either,” you said quickly. “I nannied for the kids of some friends of my grandma’s but they already knew me, so didn’t need an interview.” 
“So, you’ve got experience watching kids?” He asked, turning his paper cup absently in his fingers. 
“Oh yeah,” you nodded. “I love kids, I started babysitting when I was 13 and have nannied in the summer since I was 17 but I’m staying here this summer because of my lease, so I need something local.” 
“You’re not from here then?” He asked. 
“No,” you shook your head. “I’m from New York? Not like.. the city. The state. The boring part.” He laughed a little at that. You smiled. “I came here to go to school. I’m studying to be a teacher.” 
“A teacher?” He asked. You nodded. “You must like kids. What do you want to teach?” 
“High school biology?” You asked more than answered. “Really, I’d love to be a pediatrician but the loans… But teaching high school would be great. There were some teachers I really connected with in high school, the ones who believed in me and trusted that I could become something. That’s what I want to be for someone else, you know?” 
He nodded and took a sip of coffee. You tried to not watch his throat as he did. Mr. Miller was almost weirdly attractive - way hotter than any dads you’d worked for in the past. You didn’t want to blow this interview just because it felt like you could write a book of poetry about the man’s jaw alone. 
“Can you tell me about your daughter?” You asked after a moment. “I think you said she was nine?” 
He nodded again. 
“Yeah, Sarah,” he said. “She’s a good kid, smart as a fuckin’ whip.” He noticed that he cursed, his eyes going wide. “Shit… sorry, no…” 
“It’s fine,” you smiled. “I’m a big girl, I can handle some adult language.” 
He looked relieved. 
“Thanks,” he said. “Sarah’s… I don’t know what I did to deserve a kid like her but it had to be somethin’ in a past life because it sure as shit ain’t this one. She’s such a sweet kid, so smart - way smarter than me, not a clue where she got it from - funnier than hell. You’ll love her, everyone loves her. She’s easy to watch out for, part of why I’ve never had to do this before. We had neighbors who were happy to look after her for me during the summer but they moved to Dallas about a month ago.” 
“Could I meet her?” You asked. “I mean, assuming you’re interested in potentially hiring me, I’d like to meet her, get to know her a bit…” 
“Well,” Joel looked awkward again. “You’re… the only interview I got. I must not be offering enough, didn’t get any other takers…” 
“I’m not opposed to being a last resort,” you smiled. He laughed. “And I’m fine with the pay. It’s enough that I won’t need to take out another student loan.” 
“That’s good,” he sighed. “Because I’d love to offer more but…” 
“I get it,” you said. “Will I be meeting Sarah’s mom?” 
“No,” he replied. “She hasn’t been in the picture in years. Her loss, but still. It’d be nice to have a… female presence in her life.” 
“That’s hard,” you leaned in a bit closer to him. “I’m really sorry. If it helps, I know a bit about what that’s like. My dad left before I was born, my mom not too long after. I grew up with my grandma. She’s great, I love her more than anything and she’s done so much for me but… I dunno, I guess I was always wondering why I couldn’t be enough for them to want to stick around.” 
“Speaking from experience,” he replied. “It ain’t got shit to do with you, Kid.” 
It was the first time he’d called you that. Now it was practically all he called you, you couldn’t remember the last time he’d said your name. You kind of liked it. Your grandmother had been the only person close enough to you to have given you a pet name, it was nice to have a term of endearment from someone. Even if it was a bit infantilizing. 
You realized Joel must have been fucking flooring it to get to you as fast as he did. It took almost 15 minutes to get back to his place and the TV was still on when you stepped into the living room, a horror movie you didn’t recognize playing. 
“C’mere Kid,” he jerked his head toward the kitchen. “Should ice that wrist.” 
You followed obediently, still cradling your injured arm as he rifled around the freezer. He pulled out a bag of frozen corn and dropped it on the counter before squeezing it a few times to break it up. He wrapped it in a towel. “Hop up,” he patted the counter and you obliged. He held his hand out and you put your injured wrist in it. He turned it over gently in his hands, examining you. 
“You’re already bruising,” he growled. “Should’a fuckin’…” 
“You got me out of there,” you cut him off, voice gentle. “I don’t even want to know what might have happened if you hadn’t come to get me…” 
“Me either,” he muttered, gently pressing the frozen vegetable bag to your arm. You winced. “Sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” 
“Positive,” you replied. “Nothing’s broken. I broke my arm once when I was a kid, it was way worse than this. They’d just send me home with some Tylenol right now.” 
You looked at his hand. 
“You’re sure you’re OK?” You frowned. He glanced down. 
“Definitely,” he said, going to run his hand under the faucet. He glanced up at you. “You know how to throw a punch?” 
“I think so?” You replied. “How hard can it be?” 
He shut the faucet off and dried his hands before stepping in front of you.
“Let’s see,” he said. “Make a fist.” 
You obeyed, using your uninjured hand. He shook his head, taking hold of your fist. 
“Your thumb has to be on the outside of your fingers,” he said, gently opening your hand and freeing your thumb. He nudged your fingers closed again and brought your thumb over the top of them. You’d never noticed just how large his hands were until you saw them contrasted with yours. “Like that. You’ll break your thumb if you do it the way you had it. When you go to punch, bend your knees a bit. It’ll stabilize you. All your power is going to come from your lower body, start there and carry it up. Strike with your middle knuckle and then follow it through.” 
“Thumb outside, knees bent, start low, follow through,” you repeated, your hand still in his. You tried to ignore the electric current that ran over you where his skin touched yours.
“Right,” he said, releasing your fist. “So next time some asshole puts his hands on you, do that at his nose, OK Kid?” 
“Something tells me it won’t be as effective as when you do it,” you smiled, your eyes meeting his. 
“Maybe not,” he shrugged. “But it’ll still hurt and give you a chance to run. Which is what you do. And you can always call me. OK?” 
“OK.” 
He helped you down from the counter. 
“Don’t know about you,” he said. “But I’m a bit too keyed up to sleep quite yet. Want somethin’ to drink?” 
“Is it weird to ask for a beer?” You almost winced. 
“Not like you’re workin’,” he said, going for the fridge before turning back for you. “Wait, you turned 21 last fall, right?” 
“Yes, Joel,” you smiled, rolling your eyes a little. “I’m fully legal. Well, except to rent a car.” 
He laughed as he got two beers from the fridge, opening them with a bottle opener that was attached to the counter. He passed you one and you both went to the living room, the credits rolling on whatever horror movie he’d been watching. 
“Sorry I made you miss your movie,” you said, sitting on one end of the couch and taking a sip of beer. 
“It was shitty anyway,” he shrugged. 
The TV switched to a commercial break before teasing “When Harry Met Sally.” Joel went to change the channel but you stopped him. 
“What, don’t tell me you like that… romance crap,” he was almost teasing you. 
“Have you ever seen ‘When Harry Met Sally?’” You asked. He made a face. You rolled your eyes. “Joel. C’mon. It’s one of the best movies ever made.” 
“No,” he scoffed. 
“It is!” You insisted. “The dialogue? The pacing? The acting? Ugh, so good. It’s one of my favorites. Give it a try, pretend there’s a heart somewhere in there.” 
He was still looking at you, skeptical. You’d somehow closed the gap on the couch, your arm brushing against his. 
“I will lose all respect for you if you just refuse to even try it,” you challenged. 
“Oh because you’ve got so damn much of that,” he snorted. You elbowed him playfully. “Fine, Kid. We’ll watch your little romance movie. But only because you had a bad night and I’m not a total asshole.” 
“You’re not?” You clutched your chest in mock surprise. 
“Don’t tell anyone.” 
You kept glancing over at him as you drank your beer, your legs tucked up beside you as he leaned against the arm of the couch. He was actually paying attention, you’d give him that. 
“Well?” You asked during the second commercial break. 
“It’s… not bad,” he looked over to you. 
“You like it!” You twisted to face him. 
“No, I do not,” he fought to keep from smiling. “I just don’t… dislike it.” 
“Joel Miller: father, contractor, rom-com lover,” you smirked, taking a sip of beer. He just shook his head, a twitch in his jaw. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you tickets to opening night of the next Meg Ryan movie, it’s the least I can do.” 
You caught him stifling a laugh more than once and, about an hour into the movie, checked your injured wrist before taking the still half frozen corn back to the kitchen and coming back with two bottles of Shiner, passing one to you. 
The beer made you bold - and tired. Your head drifted onto his shoulder and he didn’t stop you, your blinks becoming longer and longer until your eyes stayed closed and you fell asleep against him. 
*** 
You’d been right about the movie. Joel shouldn’t be surprised. You had good taste in most things. The books and music you brought around, the food you invented on nights where he worked late and you made Sarah dinner. Your taste in men left something to be desired, though. 
Joel ground his teeth, glancing over at your sleeping frame, the almost empty beer bottle still in your fingers. He gently took it from you, setting it on the side table to not disturb you. You sighed happily and pressed yourself closer to his side. His eyes trailed down your body. You were wearing one of your damn sundresses again - seemed like that’s all you wore this time of year. He thought you were going to be the death of him the summer before, him coming home every night to see you in one of your damn sundresses or cut off shorts and a tank top, looking soft and sweet and beautiful as you made dinner or did a science experiment with Sarah. 
He’d never known a person as kind as you. That he was sure of. The first time he called you on a Saturday morning to ask if you could come watch Sarah on your day off - there was an emergency at a job site and he was desperate - and you made it sound like he was doing you a favor, not the other way around. 
“Of course!” You sounded actually excited. “Do you think I could take her to the zoo? There’s a cool program there on Saturdays, I was thinking of asking to take her sometime, anyway…” 
He’d tried to pay you for it but you waved him off. 
“I’m just hanging out with my best friend at the zoo, why should you pay me?” You looked at him like he was crazy. Sarah was glowing. 
You were everything bright and good and the fact that someone had put his hands on you… He ground his teeth again. He was surprised that you weren’t more upset. He’d have expected you to be crying, at the very least. It sounded like you had been when you called. But, by the time you got to his place, you were your usual self. Like somehow one asshole wasn’t going to ruin your outlook on the world. 
Joel hadn’t realized how strong the drive to protect you would be. He’d never needed to before. He’d told you pretty early on to call if you ever needed something. He’d even told you to call if you were drunk at a party and needed a safe ride - didn’t want you getting in a car with some idiot college kid who’d had a few too many behind the wheel. You’d rolled your eyes a bit but said thank you all the same. But he wasn’t expecting you to ever need to take him up on it. At least, not like this. 
He hadn’t realized that he’d run out of the house without shoes on - without even locking the damn door - until he was halfway back with you safely beside him. You’d sounded so hurt and so scared, he couldn’t get to you fast enough. He’d had to keep himself from beating the shit out of the man who’d been holding you. 
And now you were asleep on him. 
There was so much wrong with what he was thinking about you. There’d been so much wrong with what he thought about you since the day he met you. He called you Kid as much as a nickname as to remind himself that you were far too young for him, closer to Sarah’s age than his own. It didn’t matter that you were an adult, you were barely out of your teens when he met you. Men who preyed on young women disgusted him. He wasn’t about to become one just because he could spend all damn day just watching you exist. 
He sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the couch. Was it fair to even have you work for him this summer if he felt this way? He was going to, regardless, he just wasn’t sure how shitty he should feel about it. Offering you his home as a place to stay for a few weeks wasn’t a smart move, though. He was already around you all the damn time when Sarah was out of school - and pretty regularly outside of that, too, you coming by a few times a month to keep an eye on her when he needed to take care of something on evenings or weekends. You even tutored her in math and science when she hit a rough patch back in February, you figuring out her stumbling blocks and reframing it so she could wrap her head around it. Sarah had been so excited when she got an A on her test, the first thing she wanted to do after telling Joel was call you. He’d heard your excited yell through the phone from a few feet away, Sarah beaming with pride. You, in his space, with your damn sundresses and your CDs and your books in fucking French were going to kill him. 
He tucked your head tighter to him, slipping an arm below your waist before maneuvering you into his arms. You sleepily mumbled something - totally incoherent - and he carried you to Sarah’s room, setting you gently on her unmade bed. He took off your shoes before tucking you in and paused. You’d painted your toenails red, the same shade as the cherries on your sundress. You’d painted your fucking nails for the asshole who’d put hands on you. He clenched his jaw for a moment before pulling the blankets over you and closing the door behind him. 
Joel tried to think about anything but the way your breasts looked in that dress, knowing you were just down the hall, as he fucked his own hand before passing out alone. 
He woke up before you the next morning and stood awkwardly in his kitchen, wondering what he should do. If you were a woman - well, a woman he’d fucked - he knew what he’d do. He’d try to make you breakfast, something that was good enough that you might want to come back and fuck him again. What did he make for his babysitter who he rescued from a bad date and then fell asleep on his arm? 
He started with coffee and waited, standing there awkwardly leaning against the counter where he’d had your hand in his the night before. Thankfully, you woke up not long after him, shuffling into the kitchen in bare feet, your hair mussed and mascara on your cheeks. You’d put on an oversized zip up hoodie that Sarah had stolen from him and never given back, the sleeves pushed up to your elbows, the sweatshirt not that much shorter than the dress below it. 
“Morning sunshine,” he teased you. It took you a moment to register that he was there, looking almost surprised when you did. “Coffee?” 
You wordlessly nodded, shuffling to the kitchen table and sinking into a chair before putting your head down on the table. He smiled and shook his head, pouring you a cup of coffee and adding some milk and sugar before putting it in front of you. 
“Not a morning person?” He asked, sitting beside you. You shook your head, lifting the mug to your lips and taking a long drink. You looked surprised again, looking from the mug to Joel. “Use your words, Kid.” 
“How’d you know how I like my coffee?” Your voice was still scratchy with sleep. 
“Took a guess,” he shrugged. “Didn’t quite have the materials for a lavender latte.” 
You glared at him before taking another sip of coffee and sighing happily. 
“How’s the wrist?” He asked, nodding to your arm. 
“Fine,” you said, stretching it out in front of you. There were black and blue fingerprints on it. Joel clenched his jaw. “Just a bit sore. How’s the hand?” 
“Fine,” he said, voice gruffer than he’d intended. You just nodded and drank more coffee for a moment. 
“So,” you said, setting the coffee cup down and crossing your sweatshirt-clad arms on the table. “Did I fall asleep on you last night? And if yes, how embarrassing was it?” 
“You did,” he replied, half smiling at the memory of you against him. You groaned, putting your head down on the table again. “Not embarrassing though. You only snored a bit, sounded like a very small chainsaw…” 
“I snored?” Your head shot up from the table, eyes wide. He just laughed, taking a sip of coffee. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Cruel. That’s what you are, you’re cruel. Such a weird trait for a man who’s favorite movie is ‘When Harry Met Sally’ but what do I know…” 
“You hungry?” He asked after a moment. “I could make you somethin’. Not sure what you might want…” 
“You have to get me to my apartment today, right?” You asked, fidgeting with your mug. He nodded once. “Well, there’s this great diner around the corner from me, makes the best waffles you’ve ever had in your life…” 
“Not a Waffle House is it?” He asked, quirking a brow at you. You glared at him. 
“No, Joel, it’s not a Waffle House,” you shook your head but you smiled a bit all the same. “I could take you to breakfast? It’s the least I could do…” 
“I know what I pay you, Kid,” he said. “I’ve got breakfast. But yeah, let’s go get these famous waffles. I gotta grab Sarah this afternoon, was thinkin’ of calling Tommy and having him meet us at your place…” 
“Why?” You frowned. “I’m just grabbing some clothes and stuff, hardly need a team for heavy lifting…” 
“Because if that asshole comes around again, I’ll need someone to keep me from kicking his ass,” Joel said wryly. 
You rolled your eyes but went along with him, finishing your coffee and walking barefoot to Joel’s truck, your shoes from the night before dangling from your hand. You rolled the window down on the drive, hanging your head out with your eyes closed until Joel got closer to your apartment. 
“Turn right here, instead of left,” you said, pointing to a place with red and white awning up ahead. “It’s just up there, on the right.” 
You led the way inside, the small restaurant bustling for early on a Saturday. One of the waitresses did a double take as she saw you with your face all but pressed against the dessert case. 
“Girl, what are you doing here this early?” She asked, snapping her gum.
“Just getting an early start,” you smiled. “How’s your morning going so far Luce?” 
“Oh you know how it is,” Luce looked you up and down. You were still wearing Joel’s hoodie from Sarah’s room. “You doin’ a walk of shame?”
“Luce!” You swatted her arm. “C’mon, give me SOME credit. You know I’d tell you immediately how it was if that ever happened.” 
The waitress barked a laugh and shook her head. There was a bell at the kitchen window and she looked behind her before going back to you. 
“Sit tight for like three minutes,” she snapped her gum again. “I’ve got a table that’s ready to cash out, let me run this food and take care of them and you can sit with me.” 
“You’re the boss,” you gave her a small salute before turning back and smiling to Joel. “Prepare to have your life changed, Joel. I’m telling you, these waffles? Will ruin you.” 
“Nah, you’ve built them up too much,” he shook his head, frowning. “Can’t be that good.” 
The waitress you’d talked to before brought you to a table and put menus in front of you before leaning in conspiratorially to your ear. 
“Thought you said this wasn’t a walk of shame?” She looked Joel up and down. 
“Luce, this is my friend Joel,” you gestured across the table. “I look after his daughter in the summer. Joel got me out of a tough spot last night…” 
“He could get me out of a tough spot any time,” she winked. You gaped up at her. Joel just laughed. “Sorry, sweetie! We’ve just been dying for this girl to actually come in with a man at some point. She’s been on dates, never seems to go anywhere! She’s too cute to die alone, if she doesn’t have hope none of us do.” 
“No, you’re right, this restaurant is life changing,” Joel smirked at you. You went red. 
“Thanks Luce, I’m going to just die here now, appreciate you,” you smiled sarcastically up at her. She just laughed. 
“Usual drink, babe?” She asked. You nodded. She turned to Joel. “And for you sugar?”
“Just coffee.” 
“A purist,” she snapped her gum. “Be back.” 
You watched her go before groaning and burying your head in your arms. 
“I really should have known better than to bring you here,” your voice was muffled. “This is really on me.” 
“How often to you come here?” Joel asked, smiling as you emerged from your makeshift shelter. 
“Every Saturday,” you said. “Usually like an hour before close when it’s a bit slower. I sit in….” You twisted and pointed to a small, two-seat booth in the corner. “That booth so I’m out of the way and I just people watch and have coffee and waffles and catch up with everyone here. They’re all really sweet. Plus they’ll sometimes send me home with stuff from the display case that’s getting tossed that I then use to bribe your daughter with during the week.” 
“That explains the sugar highs,” he said dryly. 
Luce returned, putting something frothy in front of you and a coffee in front of him. 
“Whatcha eatin’?” She snapped her gum again. 
“Can you do me just the hugest favor,” you bit your lip, eyes wide. Luce sighed. 
“Tell me,” she said. 
“Can you make the sampler for my friend here?” You asked. “He’s never been here before and he absolutely HAS to understand the depth of affection I have for the waffles.” 
“Only because it’s you,” she shook her head. “I just let you get away with murder…” 
“It’s because you love me,” you smiled. She just sighed. “And I’ll do… the chicken and waffles please.” 
She turned to Joel. 
“You’re getting a bunch of waffles sweetie,” she said. “Whatcha want with em? Eggs?” 
“Scrambled.” 
“Any meat?” 
“Bacon.” 
“Done,” she took your menus. “Don’t let her run roughshod over you like she does over me.” 
“Yes ma’am,” Joel smiled. 
“I’ve made so many mistakes in the last 24 hours and this might just be the worst,” you sighed, taking a sip of… whatever it is that you ordered. 
“You just make friends with everyone, don’t you?” He asked, watching you across the table. Your face turned serious for a moment and then you smiled again. 
“I try to,” you shrugged. “But I end up on my own most of the time. Which is totally fine, by the way, I like being by myself. Lots to do and solitude is a good way to do it.” 
He nodded slowly. 
“What about you?” You asked, stirring your drink with a straw. “Haven’t seen you bring many friends around. Except Tommy but family doesn’t count.” 
“Not a lot of time for friends,” he shrugged. “Got work, Sarah….” 
“Rescuing hapless college students.” 
He smiled. 
“I stay busy.” 
You stirred your drink again, bobbing your head slightly, in time to a song Joel could barely hear over the buzz of people in the cramped restaurant. 
“You really tell them all about your dating life?” He asked, half smiling at you. 
“Oh God,” you groaned and then laughed. “Yes. But only because it’s basically non-existent and I have almost no one else to talk to about it. Luce is convinced she’s a matchmaker. Maybe I should listen to her, she’s been right every time I’ve told her about a guy I’m seeing.” 
“Every time, really…” Joel’s jaw twitched a bit. He didn’t like thinking about you with other men. But he did have fun making you squirm a bit in your seat. “How many times is that, exactly?”
“Are you asking me about my love life, Joel?” You teased, leaning across the table at him. 
He matched your stance, his face ending up only a few inches from your own. Even now, you smelled good. Sweet, floral. A bit like lavender. 
“Curious about your track record,” he replied. You laughed. 
“It’s real bad,” you said, sitting up straight again. “Jeremy was the fourth guy I’ve gone out with since I came to Texas. He’s the only one who made it to date four and we saw how THAT ended. The others weren’t QUITE so awful. One came close to being that bad but otherwise, just run of the mill not working out. Believe it or not, there aren’t a lot of guys beating down the bio-lab door to get at the teacher in training.” 
Joel sat back in his seat, too. 
“Men are idiots,” he shrugged. “Especially when they’re in college. They wise up when they get older.” You bit your lip for a second before shaking your head to yourself. “What?” You scrunched your nose and shook your head. “C’mon kid. What were you going to say?” 
“They get better when they’re your age?” You blurted, blushing as you asked it. 
He watched you for a moment. 
“Like to think so.” 
Luce had been right. You’d ordered him a mountain of waffles. There were three of them, each quadrant a different flavor, topped accordingly, looking like a rainbow of food in front of him. He gaped at you and you shrugged, smiling as you cut into your own. You were right, too, though. They were the best waffles he’d ever had. And he wasn’t even that crazy about fucking waffles. Luce whispered something in your ear when she gave you a hug as you were leaving and it was enough to make you swat her on the arm before going to the truck, still smiling and shaking your head when you buckled up. 
Tommy asked few questions when Joel had called to ask him to come to your place and he’d beaten the two of you there, leaning against his truck. 
“Hey Tommy!” You hopped out of the truck and waved. You always sounded like whoever you were greeting made your day just by being there. It never seemed fake, either. Joel didn’t understand it. 
“Hey Kid,” Tommy smiled, hugging you briefly. “Heard I’m here to run interdiction.” 
“Your brother is paranoid,” you rolled your eyes, absently fidgeting with the sleeves of the hoodie. Tommy noticed the bruises at your wrist in the brief second they were exposed, grabbing your hand and shoving the sleeve up your arm. 
“The fuck is this?” He looked to Joel. 
“It’s nothing, really,” you took your hand back and Tommy didn’t fight you on it. “Just a… misunderstanding that Joel got me out of last night, that’s all.” 
“Misunderstanding my ass,” Joel muttered. 
“Some guy do that?” Tommy demanded. “What, he your boyfriend? Where is he?” 
“No!” You closed your eyes for a second and crossed your arms, Joel noticing the first traces of pain on your face since he’d picked you up last night. So you weren’t as OK as you looked, you were just damn good at hiding it. It passed quickly. “No, it’s just a guy I’d gone out with a few times and it just… didn’t go the way he wanted is all, it’s fine, it’s a misunderstanding, it won’t happen again, it’s fine. I promise it’s fine.” 
It didn’t look settled for Tommy. Didn’t feel settled for Joel.
“That’s why we’re getting some of her stuff,” Joel said. “He knows where she lives, she’s gonna stay with Sarah n’ me until her new place is ready. Wanted you here in case he showed his face.” 
“Afraid you can’t take him alone?” Tommy smirked a little. Like he knew the real reason. 
“Somethin’ like that,” Joel muttered. 
“OK so if the dick measuring contest is done, can we go inside and stop making a scene?” You fished your keys out of your purse. Joel’s eyebrows went up. He didn’t think he’d ever heard you say the word ‘dick’ before. Or be quite so blunt. 
“Sure Kid,” Tommy said. “We’re at your service.” 
“Such gallant gentlemen,” you smiled a little, leading the way to your apartment. It was on the ground floor of the small complex, a neighbor saying hi to you as you passed and giving a cagey look to the men trailing behind you.
Joel had never been inside your apartment before but, when he stepped inside, he imagined it was what it would be like to step into your mind. 
Everything was light and bright with soft things everywhere - a blanket draped over the back of the couch, pillows on a beanbag in the corner. There was a small cluster of plants on your windowsill and Christmas lights framing your bookshelves which were loaded down to the point that the boards were sagging in the middle. 
“Give me like five minutes to get changed?” You said, setting your purse down on the small breakfast bar that looked to serve as your only dining space. “Make yourselves comfortable, help yourself to anything…” 
You disappeared down the short hall and Joel took a minute to indulge his curiosity. He started with your bookshelf, the most worn copies. “Pride and Prejudice” looked like it was hanging on by a thread, the spine barely readable. He almost laughed. That fit you. “The Bell Jar” was also particularly worn. He hadn’t read that one, so he pulled it off the shelf and looked at the back, frowning. This seemed less like you. Or what he knew of you. He put it back. There were a lot of books on your shelf he didn’t know, and a lot that were in French that he may have known something about but fuck if he could tell what they were. 
You didn’t have many pictures, something he found oddly disappointing. There was one photo you’d framed of you with a girl who was the same age but it was years old, you couldn’t have been more than 15 in it. The few others there were looked to just be photos of you with an older woman, who must be your grandmother. There was a painting on the wall next to the bookshelf, almost too big for the space. A lavender farm. Of course it was. 
“I painted that.” 
Joel hadn’t noticed you come back in. You were still tying your mass of hair on the top of your head, wearing jeans and a threadbare t-shirt and the canvas tennis shoes you wore with fucking everything - the damn sundresses, the shorts that drove him crazy. He looked back to the painting. 
“It’s good,” he said. He wasn’t lying. He’d have never guessed you hadn’t bought it somewhere. 
“It’s that lavender farm, near my grandma’s place?” You stood next to him, looking at the painting. “Anyway, safe to say that can stay for now. Is it OK if I bring my plants? I don’t want them to drop dead because I’m not watering them when they need…” 
“Sure, Kid,” Joel smiled a little at you. “We’ll find a spot for them.” 
You looked relieved, finding a big, plastic tub to pack the plants in before going back to your bedroom. Joel followed you there and you handed him a worn duffle bag as you started to grab things to pack. Your bedroom, like the rest of your home, was you personified. There was a quilt on the bed that had to be about as old as you, tiny flowers covering the thing. The windows had frothy, white curtains, your bed had about six too many pillows. Stack of books on the nightstand, pressed framed flowers on the walls. All sweetness and softness and light. 
“Can you…” your face scrunched. “Close your eyes for just a sec?” 
Your hand hovered by a dresser drawer. He laughed. 
“Sure, Kid,” he obeyed, closing his eyes. “Pack your underwear without this old man watchin’.” 
“Not that old,” you muttered. He smiled, resisting the urge to sneak a peek at what it is you wore under those little dresses. 
It didn’t take long for you to gather your things, you turning in circles in each room a few times, muttering to yourself before nodding once, a sense of finality to it. 
“We can always come back if you forget somethin’,” Joel said. “But that’s a ‘we,’ no comin’ here on your own.” 
“I know,” you nodded. “But still, trying to avoid leaving stuff for school behind. I have exams soon, I need to study… Think I’m good, though.” 
You grab your purse and one of the three bags you’ve filled with the things you’ll need to survive a few weeks with Joel and Sarah. Joel grabs the other two, Tommy the box of plants and you fill up the bed of Joel’s truck. You’re about to get in your old car - a beater from the early 80s that Joel is still amazed made it from upstate New York to Texas in the first place - when a late model Ford F-150 that’s never done a day of work in its life pulled into the lot, closing your car in. You froze, a deer in headlights, as the fuckin’ guy from the night before stalked over to you and threw you against your car. 
Joel was over to you before he even realized he was moving, pulling the man away from you and shoving him to the ground. 
“What’d I tell you, boy?” He growled, pulling a fist back and bringing it down on his face. “Told you I’d kill you if you touched her again, didn’t I?” 
Joel hit him again, the man trying to protect his face, and he pulled his fist back to hit him again when you caught it, pulling him back. 
“Joel!” You were yelling it, like you’d been screaming it for a minute. Maybe you had been. Tommy was on him then, too, pulling him off the man on the ground. “He’s not worth it, Joel, he’s not worth it…” 
Joel got to his feet, breathless, the man on the ground curled in on himself. He turned to you, your eyes still wide. He wanted to hug you, hold you close. Instead, he just looked at you. 
“You OK?” He asked after a moment. You nodded once. He turned back to the man on the ground. “Take your truck and get the fuck out of here.” 
The man scrambled to obey and you watched, your body stiff, until he was out of sight. You deflated a bit when he was gone, the hint of a tear at the corner of your eye. 
“You’re OK Kid,” Joel said quietly. You looked at him, your eyes wide, trusting. “I’ll keep you safe. You’re OK.” 
You looked at him like you believed him.
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bordysbae · 2 years ago
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Heyy lovely can I request a Luke hughes fic with the prompts 4 and 10. Maybe the readers on her period and is crying on the phone to jack or Quinn because luke won’t answer and she’s got bad cramps?
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“on my way”
luke hughes x fem reader
4. i’m here baby, don’t worry
10. you make me feel safe
warning: vomiting and nausea
word count: 0.7k
its the first week of summer, and of course you’re spending it at the hughes’ lake house. the boys always stay at the lake house for a month during the summer, it’s been their ritual since they first bought the house nearly 10 years ago. you and luke have been dating since first semester of freshman year, and ellen has really grown to like you, which is why she always invites you to go on trips with the hughes family. this is your second time at the lake house, and it already feels like a second home to you.
“morning honey! i’m assuming luke told you that him and the boys are going fishing with jim right?” ellen says as she sips her coffee at the kitchen island. “yeah he did, what are you doing today?” you ask her, as you pour yourself a cup as well. “i’m going out with one of my friends, are you alright being alone for a bit? i should be back at like 1, we’re just going out to lunch. if not you can always join me and my friend, she’s known the boys forever so i’m sure she would be delighted to meet you, she’s heard about you being luke’s girlfriend.” “oh no! i don’t mind being alone at all, honestly i’m not feeling too great. my cramps have been acting up a bit today” you say as you sit next to her. “aw i’m sorry hun, if you need anything don’t be afraid to call me okay! i’m gonna be leaving here in about 20 minutes.” “thanks elle, you’re the best” you smile, her returning the favor.
you’re now alone since ellen left about 15 minutes ago, and the boys are still fishing. your cramps are killing you, and the pain meds are barely working. you’re in pain and you’re hormonal, so the best thing you can do is cry. you always get cramps so bad that you feel the need to vomit, and luke knows this. so you decide to just call him and see when he’s coming home. unfortunately he doesn’t pick up, and this makes you cry even more. you hate vomiting, and the fact you know you might vomit at anytime is freaking you out. you start to panic, and luke still won’t answer his phone.
you decide to call quinn in hopes that he can get ahold of luke, and with your luck, quinn doesn’t answer. you keep feeling more nauseous by the minute and your last resort is calling jack. “hello?” jack says. “hi jack sorry to bother you, could you get luke please?” “yeah, everything okay?” “um, yeah. sort of, not really. can you just get luke?” “yeah yeah of course here” he says, a slight panic in his voice as he hands the phone to luke. “hi babe, are you okay? i’m so sorry i didn’t hear you call, jacks phone was connected to the speaker so i didn’t hear it ring. don’t worry he disconnected it when you called, what’s up?” “luke i think i’m gonna vomit” you say softly. “what? are you okay? what’s wrong?!” he says concerned. “my cramps, they’re killing me. and your mom left like 20 minutes ago, what time are y-you coming home?” you say, holding back your gags. “now! i’m not that far out on the lake i’ll have them drive me back and drop me off, i’m on my way.” “luke no, don’t stop your fun cause i’m sick. i’ll be okay i just wanted to let you know.” you sigh, taking a sip of water. “too late, my dad already started the boat. i’m gonna hang up okay? i’m almost home” “okay. i love you lukey” “i love you more” he says before ending the call.
as you’re leaning over the toilet, holding your hair back with your hand luke slowly creaks the door open. “oh y/n” he says as he quickly walks over to hold your hair back. “i’m sorry luke” “you’re sorry? don’t be sorry for anything. honestly it wasn’t even that fun, i was the only one who couldn’t catch anything and i was tired of getting bullied for it” he chuckles, making you smile at the thought of the comments the boys must’ve made. you begin to start gagging again, and you start to freak out a bit. luke rubs your back gently, “i’m here baby, don’t worry.” he states softly.
once you begin to feel better you both climb into luke’s bed, and you’re cuddled into his chest. “thank you luke, you make me feel safe.” “of course, i’d do anything for you. i love you.” “i love you more lukey.”
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mazeinthemiroh · 1 year ago
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you need a holiday. [part 1]
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pairing: hongjoong x best friend! reader
genre: friends to lovers, slow burn / slow romance, slight angst, and, of course, a sprinkle of crack
word count: 1.6k
warnings: cursing, allusions to mental health issues + insomnia
summary: hongjoong feels like he is just going through the motions in his life. the spark has gone. but you have the perfect solution that will solve all his problems... [part 2, part 3]
author's notes: to get in the summer holiday spirit, i present to you part 1 of this hongjoong holiday series. we all deserve a rest every now and then, and time off is just what you need to get back on track. stay tuned for part 2 which will be published shortly! let me know if you want to be tagged in the next one <3
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Hongjoong felt all his days blended into one. He was, quite truly, going through the motions. Sometimes he woke up not knowing what to do. Not feeling like he had a purpose. Which, of course, was not the case. He was a captain, a producer of fine music, a rapper, a dancer, a writer. His work was his life and people relied on him for things only he could accomplish. So he had a purpose. Of course, he did.
But things started to feel vacuous. They held no meaning. 'What was the point of it all?' He would think to himself as he stared at the keyboard in front of him, sitting by himself in the studio in the early hours of the morning yet again. Alone. Very much alone.
He needed something else. Something. Just a little kick up the ass, a slap in the face to give him the wake-up call he needed. He wanted someone to say 'You've got it good, you ungrateful bastard. Money, fame, charm. You've got it all, so stop whining about such trivial things and get back to work.' He needed to hear those words.
So he picked up the phone one night, another night in the studio, and his thumbs lingered over the screen before deciding to search for a name. Your name.
'Let's meet up for coffee tomorrow. If you're free, that is.'
He couldn't tell if his text sounded abrupt and rude due to his sleep-deprived mind waning slowly away. He knew you might not be up at the same time he was so he decide to wait until morning.
And a couple of hours later, he was fighting the urge to settle and sleep for the hours he deserved, instead getting ready for work. He shoved himself into the shower and 'cleaned the tiredness away', as he liked to put it. Because apparently, according to the wise Kim Hongjoong himself, a shower could cure you of most things, especially sleep deprivation.
So he went to work, going about his business, knowing that he would see you for a coffee break at around lunchtime. You had replied to him in the late hours of the morning, ignoring the fact that he had texted you at 3 am. It was typical Hongjoong behaviour and you knew him all too well to question the time in which he was up.
Lunchtime came around and there you were together, opposite each other as you tucked into the delicious sandwiches before you.
"So, how have you been?" Your voice was light, but you had your suspicions on your friend, who never usually made plans so out-of-the-blue, instead preferring a week in advance to prepare himself, ideally. That's why you were so surprised to have read his message.
"Me?" Hongjoong asked as if you were talking to anyone else in the café, which obviously you were not, "I've been good."
'This is not why you invited them out' Hongjoong's mind scolded him. 'There's a reason why you're here with them. Speak.'
Hongjoong let out a sigh, knowing that he was right. He needed to just... express himself.
"Well actually..." Hongjoong winced at the upcoming awkwardness, as if trying to brace himself for having to open up to you. He hated burdening people with his problems. A burden is truly what they felt like when expressed and left hanging in the air like that, all exposed and vulnerable. A person's problems could change your perception about someone, which Hongjoong never liked risking because his reputation was important.
But you were his friend. And if you ever confided in him about something, he would embrace your openness with a kind heart. Why did he think you wouldn't do the same?
So, taking a deep breath, he tried his best.
"I've been struggling, to be honest."
Already he could feel a lump form in his throat. That felt like a massive confession in itself, when it really, in hindsight, was just a simple statement. Everyone struggles, sure. But saying it out loud and solidifying these feelings verbally felt intense.
You nodded, already understanding where he was coming from. He looked tired. Not only because of the dark circles under his eyes and the occasional yawn that rose in between sentences. But also, in his eyes, the casual and chipper sparkle that he always held had dwindled tremendously. He was still as handsome as always, but his spark had gone. And that very concept exhausted him more than any lack of sleep could.
"You need a holiday," you decided aloud. It felt like more of a command than a suggestion. But after you had heard all of Hongjoong's worries and concerns and rants about anything and everything, you confirm that it was the only right thing to say.
He looked at you in bewilderment. In utter fascination.
"No, that's not what you should be saying," Hongjoong shook his head, "you should be telling me to get a grip and stop moping about."
You laughed at his reasoning, but he looked dead serious, biting the inside of his cheek impatiently.
"What good will that do?" You hummed, not waiting for an answer, "You're allowed to feel this way, Joong. And you're allowed a holiday too."
"Okay, if I went on holiday every time I had a problem, I wouldn't be at work at all. I'm not like you, I can't just run when things get tough," he snapped, one hand turning into a fist, before unclenching. He realised he sounded very harsh there and his eyes grew wide.
"I..." he swallowed harshly. "I'm sorry. That was over the line."
"No, no," you shook your head, trying hard not to take offence at his harsh words. You knew he was stressed. "You're right. I don't have the same circumstances as you. But I don't run away when things get tough. I just allow myself to get away, just for a little bit, every now and then. A slice of fantasy before going back to reality. Everyone needs a holiday. Everyone needs to get away from the mundane routine of their lives. So when you do have some time off, why not embrace it?"
Hongjoong stared at his now empty plate, still feeling guilty about being hurtful with his words. What had gotten into him? He sighed and sank back in the chair.
You watched him for a moment, before continuing:
"You want me to be serious and honest with you? Fine. You will destroy yourself if you don't give yourself a break. A little rest, Hongjoong, you owe yourself at least that. And if your life is not full of joy like it used to be in, despite having your dream job and dream life, a little break will do you good. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy," you shrugged, a frown on your face to match his, "which you're in the process of doing now."
Hongjoong looked up. It wasn't the sternness he was expecting, but it did make sense. He licked his dry lips and fixed his hunched posture.
When he didn't say anything you said your last bit.
"I am going away to Spain for 5 days in about a fortnight," you placed the cutlery delicately on the plate, "just 5 days, that's all. You're more than welcome to join me, if you feel it's worth your while. Because, trust me, it will be."
On getting up, you had slipped your jacket on elegantly as he watched you, eyes glazed over with deep thought. You pushed him out of his daze by placing a kiss on his cheek, something you wouldn't usually do. He blinked and looked over at you curiously.
"See you, Joong. Thanks for lunch. And I hope to see you soon."
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"Y/N thinks I need a holiday."
Hongjoong didn't know why he was confiding in yet another person today. But here he was, talking to Seonghwa about the conversation you had with him earlier that day.
They were both standing in the kitchen, Hongjoong unmoving whilst Seonghwa worked around him, making himself a late dinner.
"Of course you need a holiday," Seonghwa said without looking at Hongjoong as he reached for the top shelf, moving around his standing friend who gazed at him, baffled.
"You think I need a holiday too?" Hongjoong was perplexed, clearly not seeing what everyone else was.
"We all need a holiday," Seonghwa looked at him now with a playful smile, before sinking into seriousness, "but you need it just a little bit more than the rest of us."
Hongjoong pursed his lips and sighed, shaking his head.
"You work so hard for all of us. 5 days is nothing, Joong. We can cope without you for 5 days!" Seonghwa tried to convince his friend.
"Oh is Hongjoong leaving? That means I get to be captain, right?" Wooyoung butted in, reaching over Seonghwa in an awkward position just to ram his mouth full of the already opened popcorn left on the counter.
"You wish. I'll be in charge when Hongjoong is gone, obviously," Seonghwa rolled his eyes and gently shooed Wooyoung away, who shrugged and disappeared without another word.
"Good to know I'll be missed," Hongjoong snorted as his gaze followed the disappearing Wooyoung.
"You won't be missed," Seonghwa stated, "because we would all have peace of mind knowing that you were finally relaxing for once. Or, at least, I will."
Seonghwa always knew what to say, and Hongjoong couldn't help but feel a little better about entertaining the idea of going on holiday with you.
But that doesn't mean he had been fully convinced.
"I'll think about it," Hongjoong nodded, before making his way back to his room.
He wasn't convinced. Not yet.
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taglist: @a-wandering-stay, @xlovehwa, @yeosangsbiceps, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @hawaiian-angel, @toolovelyforyou, @honeysugarbby, @dutchessskarma, @saltedplum-squid (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
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lilith---666 · 25 days ago
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Hiiii so this is my first time posting im pretty nervous haha, hope you will enjoy ! *sorry if i made any mistakes english is not my native language*
This is a daryl x oc
"Scars chapter 1"
The warm Georgia air made the summer evening feel stifling, despite the air conditioning in the bar I worked at. I could feel the heat outside. Customers were rushing in and out as I paced back and forth between the tables and the bar, dropping off drinks. The hours were flying by and the atmosphere was as pleasant as ever (if you ignored the drunks arguing or yelling all the time). A typical evening, until the screams outside, bloodcurdling screams that immediately caught my attention. A woman rushed in, covered in blood and crying. That was all it took for my colleague and I to approach her, worried.
Shit, miss, are you okay? What happened?
My eyebrows furrowed sharply and my mouth fell open as I saw that a chunk of her arm had been torn off and she was bleeding profusely.
The customers around us watched the scene with almost morbid curiosity. The young woman was shaking like a leaf as she tried as best she could to speak.
O-Outside... A crazy person came and jumped on me before biting me...!
Okay okay hum... Come sit down, we're going to call the emergency number! You really have to be crazy to do something like that!
I helped the woman sit on a nearby chair before my colleague took out his phone and called 911.
While he was taking care of that, I found myself rushing behind the counter in search of a clean cloth to stop the bleeding. Once I have it in hand, I go back to the young woman's side and gently place it on her wound.
What's your name?
Emily...I-My name is Emily...
Ok Emily, you're going to have to keep the cloth firmly stuck to your wound until help arrives. Can you do that?
she nods showing me that yes, before her trembling hand replaces mine.
I look at my colleague who still had his phone glued to his ear. He stays like that for a while before sighing and hanging up.
They don't answer. I'm going to take her back to the hospital, you close up and go back at your place, he's still hanging around outside, it could be dangerous to come back too late ok? Ladies and gentlemen, we're really sorry but we're going to have to close earlier than expected.
He comes to my side before gently helping the woman get up. They then go out to join his car parked right in front. The customers then gradually leave the bar and in about thirty minutes it is empty. I do the evening routine somewhat anxiously. A ball had formed in the pit of my stomach since my colleague left. The sun had now set, giving way to the moon, a spectacle usually so relaxing, but today a strange atmosphere was present at this spectacle, a heavy and distressing atmosphere that often gave me chills, making my hair stand on end. I did the rest of the tasks at a crazy speed, having only one desire, to go home.
Once everything is finished, I take my bag and leave the bar, obviously not forgetting to lock the doors. I then start walking to reach my apartment while looking around me. The streets, which were usually filled with life, were empty, which immediately increases my anxiety and therefore quickens my pace. The journey seemed endless before I finally see my building on the corner of the street. I hurry to get inside the building and then to my house. A sigh of relief left my lips once my door closed. With a trembling hand, I turn on the light in my modest living room then collapse on the couch. I take a few minutes to calm my heart which was beating wildly. When it beats at a more normal pace, I take the remote control of my television and press the "ON" button. It then starts showing me the program that is on at that time. My eyebrows furrow when I see the news. It spoke of a disease, extremely contagious, of sick people who became cannibals and totally out of control.
  They advised following this to stay locked up at home and not to give in to panic. The flashes of the young woman earlier in the evening quickly come back to me, the crazy man who had attacked her for no good reason. So this man was sick? And consequently, would she be too? Or maybe not? Maybe she was okay and getting treatment, at least that's what I hoped.
I quickly grab my phone before dialing my best friend's number, praying that she and the others are okay and that nothing happened to them. Unfortunately, my call didn't go through. No matter how many times I called, the void was always the one that answered me. I tried as best I could to reassure myself by telling myself that she was probably sleeping and that tomorrow when I got up, everything would be fine and that she would surely have contacted me again but no. Everything would not be fine and I would not hear from her again.
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fran-in-the-deep · 1 year ago
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Improvise, adapt, Aquarium Date Part 5/5
Hange x gn!Reader / Collage AU
~1k words | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 2.5 | Part 3 | Part 4
In between funny looking fish and blue shaded aquarium lights Hange felt like wandering on the bottom of the ocean together with you. Time and everything outside becoming irrelevant in the bubble they moved in, only encompassing the two of you. A bubble that popped when the voice coming from the loudspeakers announced that the Aquarium would close in fifteen minutes, asking for the guests to head towards the exit. There was no way they were already closing, no way it was already that late.
Hange hadn’t yet shown you the last section of the exhibition, now falling into a frenzy of calculating how they could slice off some seconds so you could see the snails and shrimp and then make it to the Aquarium shop in time - no, not the shop. They had been so hyperfocused on the explanations at hand that the shop had fallen off the list of priorities, only now resurfacing out of the dark, deep water in the back of their mind where it nearly drowned.
Fourteen minutes thirty-four seconds left. Snails or Aquarium shop? Snails or Aquarium shop? Fourteen minutes thirty-one seconds. Improvise, adapt… Hange tightened their grip around your hand, a faint manic glow in their eyes as they told you to follow them. Fourteen minutes twenty-two seconds.
Arriving at the shops entrance just two minutes forty-seven seconds later was a new record added to Hanges mental excel sheet of walkway times, later to be transferred over to the one on their laptop. Still gasping for air they leaned on your shoulder while trying to gesture and talk at the same time, which proved to be not successful at all. Feeling your hands on their shoulders they looked back up, only to meet your worried gaze. Are you okay? Definitely, absolutely. They just needed - to take a breath, yeah definitely - to show you the things. In the shop. The cute things in the shop.
Having regained their composure, Hange navigated you through all the lanes until stopping when you least expected it, running into them. They in the meanwhile were just relieved that the shop still had the same key charms in stock then before the renovation. Not even noticing the collision, Hange went on telling you that they originally wanted to gift you one for your birthday, but didn’t manage to get it in time. So they wanted you to choose one now.
Maybe Hange was smiling like an idiot while mustering you looking at the different motives of marine life, scattered in a box on the shelf in front of you. You choose one for me and I choose one for you. Okay, now they were definitely grinning like an idiot. But in the best way.
Now focussing back on the task right in front of them, Hange leaned forward, taking it all in until the blue shrimp of undetermined breed caught their eye. The charms weren’t supposed to be scientifically accurate, they just needed to look cute. Which they were, at least to them. As Hange hadn’t managed to show you the shrimp this time, you would have at least one to take home with you. Until the next time. They reached out to pick it up, looking at you from the corner of their eyes with curiosity. Apparently you already had something in your hands. Apparently it was a pufferfish. Apparently their compliment from earlier that you had even given back to them had been received well.
Hange didn’t have too much time to think as the announcements for the Aquariums closure was crackling out of the loudspeakers once again. Only five minutes left. The both of you hurried to the register to pay, Hange nearly dropping their coins in the process of wanting to pay the exact price. They were in luck that you stepped in to help them sort out themselves, before finally getting to pay and being ushered out of the shop by the clerk.
The light and humidity of the late summer afternoon felt like a wall they just walked into after the pleasantly dim and temperature controlled hallways of the Aquarium. The two of you were quick to seek out a bench under the shade of a tree to settle down. Hange was quick to recover, pressing the blue shrimp charm into your free palm, telling you with brimming excitement that they would show you the shrimp the next time, if you wanted to of course, because it was the best Aquarium visit ever and the best date with the best person and everything.
They pulled you into a hug before you got to answer, head pressed against your shoulder, tension falling a little when you reciprocated. A gentle and warm hug, although Hange was sure you could feel their heart beat as if they just finished a marathon.
What Hange got from your expression when you parted after a while, was that you liked the charm a lot. Then even verbally agreeing that it was the best date, that you liked it very much and were looking forward to see the shrimp the next time. Finally getting to hand over the pufferfish charm, joking about how with this, Hange would get to think of you when they saw it. As if they weren’t thinking about you all the time anyways.
Another hug, a little longer this time, just as comfortable. It wouldn’t be the two of you if you just parted ways right then because the date was over. Aquarium date turning into another casual evening of grocery shopping on the way to Hanges place, treating yourselves to comfort food, being yet again disappointed of the absence of a dishwasher and not being able to decide on a movie to put on.
Just as always. No need to improvise, adapt, overcome. Just existing, being with you, getting excited about fish, falling asleep on your shoulder, that was Hange for you. The most precious person in the world.
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Reference Pufferfish | Reference Blue Shrimp
A/N: I can't believe that's the finale. Thank you so much for everyone who has read until here, I hope you had as much of a good time reading as I had writing it!
I also got the drawing tablet and hope to update the formatting on the series soon when I manage to get a less sketch-like style to hide that I have no Idea what I'm doing. I like the charms nonethelesss. I can't even stop planing in the authors note can I?
Anyways, very excited and happy right now! I'll even go to the Aquarium irl tomorrow with a friend, so the timing is great!
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mistysharks · 2 years ago
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Summer of '85 Baby!
(Steddie Cis!swap part 1 part 2.) (its lesbians time folks) Eddie gets held back a year, which she thinks is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, it means money becomes tight and she needs to start dealing, but it also means she's the oldest kid in hellfire, with the most DM experience, and being the DM means she can set the rules. And, drop a dragon on anyone who she doesn't like. It's pretty freaking great.
And maybe she lets it get to her head a little sometimes. And maybe she climbs a table or two at school while making an especially strongly worded social commentary but hey, at least nobody calls her a bitch or a slut. Nah, she gets a word just for herself. Freak.
Wayne keeps trying to get her proper summer jobs, keep her out of trouble. It's a shame dealing pays way better.
It does mean, though, that she's stuck painting the fence outside of Gareths moms house at 1PM on a Saturday afternoon, within hearing distance of the guy absolutely going to town on his Drum set in the garage. On that day, Corroded Coffin is born.
And its easy, to spend the summer with Gareth, who she'd only barely known as the new kid in hellfire before. He's chill, in a way Eddie's never learnt how to be. He doesn't treat her like one of the guys, exactly, though she can't quite put her finger on what it is. Maybe its that he just treats her like a person.
Having to re-do senior year for a second time doesn't feel so bad, if she's got Gareth hanging around.
So its natural, of course, for them to drop by Starcourt on a hot day, and even more so to scramble together whatever change they got left to pick up some Ice Cream on their way out.
Neither of them had been quite prepared enough for what met them as they walked into Scoops Ahoy though.
Stevie Harrington. The Queen Bee of Hawkins high, newly graduated and now... Standing behind the counter in an ill-fitting sailors outfit, bored expression on her face and gravity defying waves of hair, a jaunty sailors hat balancing precariously on top as if held in place by will alone.
And the thing is, Eddie's noticed Harrington, of course. You don't go through the years of high school (plus extra) without knowing about the hottest mean girl in school. And if you are, like Eddie, a raging Lesbian (even though she's only just admitted this fact to herself), and who also has a thing for girls with a mean streak?
Yeah... She knows about Stevie, all right. Gareth also seems surprised by this development, thank god, stopping in his tracks right next to Eddie.
He does not, however, make a pained little noise as they both watch Stevie stretch, the far too short top rising to show off a generous sliver of tan, muscled, midriff.
Eddie... Does. And then promptly flees the scene.
Later, back in Gareth garage while Eddie tunes her baby best she can with only her ear to go on, Gareth says
"Its ok if you're a lesbian, you know"
And it catches Eddie so off guard she snaps the string
------
Stevie works the summer at scoops ahoy. She flirts badly, makes minimum wage, gets tortured and drugged by Russians, and makes a friend for life. They hate each other at first, of course, Robin remembering all to well what Stevie used to be like, and Stevie's just too tired to try and convince anyone she's changed.
Nothing like a plot to unravel and shared trauma to change things though, and if she's honest, Stevie was already starting to warm up to the girl before they even started solving mysteries together. There was just something so refreshing about someone who says exactly what they think, even if that is sometimes by accident.
"This summer is the most fun I have ever had" Stevie tells her, on that bathroom floor. "I really think you could be my best friend, Robin"
And when Robin tries to protest, says that she wouldn't think so if she really knew her. if she knew what she is, Stevie is just confused at first.
"but... Tammy Thompson is a girl"
"Stevie..."
"oh."
And look, Stevie's never really thought about the concept rather than as an insult before. It was something you called a girl you didn't like, that's all. But... Robin's great. She's sweet, she's funny, and she didn't hesitate for a second to save kids she barely even knew. So... the idea that she could in some way be bad, just because she thought Tammy Thompson was cute? It... didn't feel right.
So she rolls with it, mocks her for her bad taste, and way too many things happen after that for them to really have a chance to talk it over.
But later, as they are curled up on Robins bed, too wired up to sleep, too scared to turn off the light fully, she asks her about it. Wants to know what it really means. And... if she asks maybe a few too many questions, a few too in-depth ones, Robin doesn't comment on it.
Just answers best she can. It's several weeks later when Stevie even thinks of the concept that if Robin is into girls, and Stevie is a girl-
"Wait!" She asks suddenly, in the break room of family video "how come you never had a crush on me?"
And Robin just wrinkles her nose, which, rude. Stevie knows what she looks like. She should be everyone's type. "Sorry dingus, I only date cute girls"
"Wha- I'm cute!" Stevie answers, gesturing to her Pink V neck, tight jeans and her carefully styled hair, but Robin just shakes her head.
"Too much Jock energy, sorry!" Robin says, flippantly, as she walks out of the room "Wha- what does that even mean" Stevie asks, following her out the door (next time- they interract??? with Each other??)
(My HC is that Stevie looks a lot like Carol from s1 but taller and more athletic. Plus moles, of course)
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boyswanna-be-her · 2 years ago
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I'm having the hardest time getting together with this one friend group. Friend 1 is my best local friend and I have the most fun when we do solo stuff, but friend 1's partner, 2, just has less in common with me. That is fine, 2 is fun and cool, but I really dislike their friend 3, who always also gets invited. It's starting to rub me the wrong way. It's a trend that I'll make plans with 1 & 2, then 2 will reach out and ask me if 3 can come like an hour before our plan.
3 completely throws off the dynamic to the point that I don't even enjoy my time with 1 & 2. For example, I had a friend in from out of town and I invited 1 & 2 to come swim with us at my client's pool. 1 & 2 brought 3, who didn't make any attempt to speak to my special out of town friend, be friendly to them, really talk to any of us but 2. At one point we were all hanging out and 3 walked off and straight took a nap by the pool? It felt super awkward. Like do you not wanna be here? Why did you come??
I think the solution is that I need to do more things and specify that I only want to see 1 & 2, and that any more than those two people feels like too much right now. But 1 & 2 themselves are also not respectful of the fact that I live across town from them and usually have to drive 40 minutes to hang out. Like I'll have already driven to their neighborhood then suddenly they won't be ready to hang out for another 90 minutes because of some miscommunication or something.
And a lot of times the things I wanna do are things that 3 legitimately does not like (they're not interested in ANY movie genres I care about and that's 99% of my personality, and they don't really enjoy being outdoors which is the other 1%). But 3 apparently wants to come along anyway, and they sit there silently which pings me in all the wrong ways. And fuck I've done a lot for 3 when I think about it! Bought food for the group many many times, gave them tons of edibles on different occasions bc I didn't want them to feel left out from smoking/drinking (they do neither), even brought them back a present from Colorado this summer bc I felt weird getting presents for 1 & 2 but not 3. None of this has ever been reciprocated so I guess I should quit doing that shit!
I just!!!! Want my friends to consider me more! I don't like constantly canceling on them. It makes me feel like a flake and a bad person. But the last time I was with all three of them, I literally sat there thinking that I'd be having more fun sitting in traffic by myself than trying to make a conversation work. And I hate that. 1 has been in my life for a while and we've been through some shit and we're not the type of friends who say "i love you" to each other a lot but we do! So stop treating me as an afterthought, or whatever is happening!!
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Trucker’s Call Part 1
(This story was before cell phones were common, & almost everyone carried a calling card starting with ‘ten-ten...’)
i was guarding a manufacturing plant with a warehouse on the grounds, and it was a blazing Sunday in summer, meaning i was literally the only person around. i look up from the desk in the guardshack to see a semi sitting there idling, the driver out of the cab at the gate. i stepped out of the shack, as i walked to the gate i could see the sizable bulge in his jeans, even from about ten feet away. i approached & tried not to look but...clearly i didn’t succeed.
“Can i help you?” ‘Yeah, I’m trying to find Company C-I was given bad directions so I had to reroute because of a low bridge..(he adjusts his bulge as he talks, drawing my eyes)”You’re in luck, you’re in the right area-‘(adjusts again)...’aaah, yeah it’s on the side street-‘ (adjusts but lingers)...’side street just ahead’ (gives his bulge a squeeze, showing how packed it is, & that it’s beginning to expand)....’what was i saying?’ He knew he had me at that point. “Before I head over can I use a pay phone to call in’ he locks eyes with me ‘and I need to take a wicked piss’ at that he gets a smirk;he’s playing with me, like a cat with a mouse. “Okay, which do you want first?”as i start unlocking the gate to let him in. ‘Whichever is further away’ “the payphone is in the warehouse-i can only call local from the shack’(there was a bypass code, but i wanted privacy) i grabbed my company radio from the shack & looked at him. He squeezed his bulge at me again and said ‘lead the way..sweet cheeks’ As i walked a few steps ahead of him i could feel his eyes on my ass, & i knew he planned to drop several loads into me before he left.
Once we got to the warehouse i had him wait outside while i disarmed the building, then brought him inside & pointed out the payphone. Once he dialed the number he put a booted foot on a nearby box, then motioned me over as he started talking & pulled down his zipper. That was all the invitation i needed & was on my knees before he had fished out his cock. He wasn’t that long, only around 6 inches, but it was thick enough that i knew my jaw would be aching by the time he done using it. As i started bobbing on him he casually rested his hand on my head. i was now clearly just an appliance to him, no longer a person, used to empty his balls. He tasted of sweat and piss with a bit of funk... clearly he hadn’t had a chance to shower in a few days. Suddenly i realized what he was saying on the phone. ‘Yeah, the little fag is bobbing on me right now....no, he doesn’t seem to mind how rank I am. In fact, I think the bitch is enjoying it....how is he? Hungry I’ll say that much....yeah, he’s working to get my load....no,he won’t get it quick, I gotta piss first.....(i paused on his dick, looking up at him but he completely ignored me)...the fag just stopped, i think it’s thirsty....aaaah(the acrid tasting piss is flowing, i’m swallowing fast trying not to taste it)he chuckled...’yeah, don’t think the bitch likes it....he has no idea how much he has to swallow tho....my giant drink cup is done, so he’s gotta take all of it (my eyes went wide, but i continue to swallow) ...yeah, he’s listening, the bitch seems to be enjoying hearing what I think of it.The little cocksucker seems at home servicing Men. ...Not surprised it’s guarding a building, probably spends all it’s free time at a dirty bookstore hoovering men thru a hole in the wall (i wondered if i’d serviced him at a gloryhole in the past, as he was pretty accurate)....’yeah, almost done pissing, if nothing else he makes a good urinal’...he laughs at something the other person said that i couldn’t hear, as his stream finally slows...’yeah, he’ll be licking that too. It’s gonna be a while tho, after i drop my load in the bitch i need to wait until later to drop off the load...I mean the truck, wiseass!...ok, I’ll call later then’ and hangs up. ‘Now’ He finally addresses me ‘to dump a load in a cocksucking faggot’ as he grabs my head to begin skullfucking me like an out of control piston.
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hachketshup · 1 year ago
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My the sims 4 journal.
I'll create a sim who is very mean and causes flirty interactions embarrassing on purpose, ill also make them fat so i can know how much time does it take them to get slim. Ivan Coy is the sim I'm referring to, he is a young adult sim, his hair is styled in a low man bun hairstyle and packs a before puberty mustache.
His house looks like a squared yellow donut.
Day 1:
The first thing I make him do is to go dig a rock where he extracted a treasure map, then a woman named Kimber knocks on the door of his house and then walks off because Ivan didn't answer her in time. Before she left, Ivan went to talked to her and complimented her hair and joked around.
My attempt to make him embarrass her failed miserably, next time I'll start on the wrong foot.
Summer Holiday shows up and asks Ivan to go shaking sheets with her in the park, Ivan finds her hideous, he proceeds to embarrass her with flirting until she gets flirty so he can argue with her. Ivan insulted her and left.
Day 2:
Ivan paints something and hangs them paintings on the wall. Summer calls him but he doesn't answer in time, but he instead video called her for some reason.
Ivan works out for a bit, he is still as fat as he was. Ivan goes outside and introduces himself rudely to Mortimer Goth, but his mean introduction is interrupted by Mortimer talking about horoscope, and how it told him that he will be having a good time soon, then Mortimer asked him if Ivan wants to be that person he is gonna have a good time with. Ivan responds with an annoyed expression "the stars are not aligned today", and that he will tell his disappeared wife that he is cheating on her.
It's 3 a.m now in the game, this is just when Ivan is gonna spam call Kimber. Ivan keeps destroying his friendship with Kimber by spam calling her until 7a.m which that's when she answers the calls.
Day 3:
Ivan hates gardening, so let's make him do that. He gets tense while gardening, I wonder if it's possible to make him like gardening.
Day 4:
Summer calls him to ask if she should get to know Bella Goth, he could have said he doesn't care but that's not an option so he said sure. After that he goes back to sleep.
When Ivan wakes up he walks to his computer to find a job, and starts a criminal career. He works out again, i think he is a bit less fat rn. Ivan visits the Calientes, and it's no surprise that Don is cheating on Nina with her mother, so Ivan went there to insult all of them except Dina.
Ivan decided to stay at their house how long he wants, at first he dislikes Nina, because for him she is extremely ugly. But that doesn't stop him from trying to get her annoyed. Nina turns on the TV and a explicit scene is playing, Nina liked it and Ivan noticed that, and he turned off the TV on purpose, she didn't get mad, instead she went to play with clay with Nina.
It didn't pass much time until Katrina tried to flirt with Ivan, he chose to play hard to get just to drive her crazy. She wanted a piece of that clay for sure.
Day 5:
Finally, Ivan let's Katrina have some clay, and the next thing he does is to go kick the garbage can to piss off the Calientes. Katrina can't get enough of that clay so she asks Ivan to play with the clay again with her, then Don comes and joins the fun.
When they were done, Ivan wrote a book for children, titled 'Clay is not only for kids'.
Ivan stays there writing until his work shift starts.
Day 6:
Kimber hates Ivan since he kept spamming calls to her phone, so Ivan will do that again. New work out day.
Day 7:
More work out for him, he still looks like a pregnant lady. He got promoted, painted something and learned some mischief. He went to the park to play some chess for a while.
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sincerelyangelina12 · 11 months ago
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Letter #1: December 22nd, 2023
Dear Eliza,
How have you been, lovely?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Do you think about the times you drove me home, trying to act like you weren't annoyed, because you would have rather been hanging out with your boyfriend than your clingy best friend?
Do you hate me? I do. I didn't mean to ghost anyone. To distance myself this summer. Things just got so dark so fast, I still haven't really found my way out yet. The light comes and goes. Sometimes I feel like the ground is shattering and the oxygen is being ripped from my lungs.
To be entirely honest, I never planned on still being here to even get to graduation, let alone after. I could ignore all the problems that sit heavy in my chest and worship together in my mind so much easier when I had school to focus on. When that was gone, I just fell apart. I never realized how deeply traumatized I am from high school and just my school experience overall. Not to mention family issues I'll never bring up to anyone. Not even you. Maybe if we had had more time together. Maybe not. I'll never know now and that's all my fault.
But all this to say that I'm still trying to want to be alive. I hope you can forgive me for this someday. I miss you terribly, everyday. You just get me. And you didn't leave when you couldn't. You tried to get to know me, understand my life, who and where I've been, and I'm forever grateful for that. For having had someone in my life who genuinely wanted to try.
Which is why I know it's selfish to say I'm upset that you didn't say goodbye to me before you left for college. You've texted me once or twice since, just to send me a picture of us on your snapchat memories. Does that mean you still care? Do you still hold love for me in your heart? I'm sorry I'm such a horrible friend. My mental and physical health isn't an excuse. I should have tried harder. I'm just so sorry.
I'm so lonely without you. I don't mean that to guilt trip you because I know how that sounds. I mean that for you to know how much I love you and care for you. You are truly still my best friend. We don't really talk anymore. But you're my best friend. Says a lot, huh? There's only me to blame for basically having no friends right now. I haven't talked to anyone who wasn't my mother, father, or doctor in ages.
I hope college has been amazing for you. Just saw you and him hit one year. Congrats, friend. I know he's the kind of person you've always wanted. I'm so happy for you.
I know this is selfish to ask for. Please don't hold my depression distancing against me forever if you don't have to. But I'll understand if you do. I understand that I hurt you by disappearing.
I hope you day I can fight the monsters chilling in the corners of my mind. That I can stop being afraid to leave the house and meet you for lunch or something.
I'll love you forever my lovely bee.
Apologetic for my distance, Angelina🌹
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “You were my everything Maybe that's part of the problem But, I wouldn't change a thing Not from the moment it started” -When You Think Of Me, JP Saxe
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fredshufflepuff · 3 years ago
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— anon’s request: ok so since i too am a whore for angst. how about the reader and rafe having a summer thing as a kook (maybe she goes to the pogue school but is a kook) and once she goes back to school, they drift apart and rafe gets jealous of her spending her time with the pogues. then maybe he sees her again at mid summers all dressed up and remembers he still loves her. please break my heart with this, im in need of a cry and then maybe put it back together with some fluff at the end? please
— warnings: fem!reader, brief smut (skip if uncomfortable), asshole!rafe for a good chunk of the imagine, language, angst, fluff.
— word count: 2,166
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IT all started when you bumped into rafe at the country club on figure eights.
you didn’t normally hang around that area, but you were hanging out with sarah that day—which meant eventually running into her brother.
she tried to keep you away from him, just because he had no filter and didn’t think twice before voicing his opinion, but sooner or later your interaction with the boy would happen.
“oh god” sarah mumbled causing you to raise your brows, a confused frown on your face as she signaled to look behind you.
you turned around not so subtle to see rafe cameron making his way down the grassy hill, a golf club in one hand and a can of beer in the other.
“hey little sis, when were you going to introduce me to your friend here?” the boy spoke, a small grin on his face at seeing her roll her eyes.
“i wasn’t planning on it, you know—considering how you’re an ass.”
a small giggle fell from your lips as rafe turned his attention back to you, the sides of his mouth curling slightly at your reaction.
“well since she won’t introduce me, i will” he said, his figure leaning over yours which was sat on the grass.
he tossed his most likely expressive golf club to the ground to extend his hand out to you, which you hesitated to take before slowly reaching for it.
“i’m rafe cameron.”
of course you knew who he was, everyone did.
“y/n y/l/n.”
YOU thought the interaction with sarah’s older brother was in the past, not having to see him again since you weren’t planning on going back to figure eight or the club any time soon.
but when you found yourself in his bed getting the absolute daylights fucked out of you, you knew right then and there that this wasn’t a one time thing.
“fuck rafe,” you moaned loudly, your head thrown back against the pillow as your eyes fell shut from the feeling.
he slide his cock in and out of your needy hole as you whimpered from under him, his toned body pressed against yours as you jolted from each thrust.
“m’gonna cum, flood this needy little fuck hole” he spat, his hand coming down to grab your face and force you to open your eyes.
“please, rafe. please fill me up” you begged, your little moans and pleads sending the boy over the edge.
as soon as he gave you permission to cum you didn’t hold back. it felt like your entire body had shut down as your head fell to the side.
rafe sent a rough thrust into your quivering body before emptying himself inside, making sure to keep himself as close as possible in order to not let any leak out.
“fuck,” he groaned in your ear, his body pressed against your small one as your hands came up to rest in his hair, pulling on it gently as his cum filled you up.
later that night you didn’t bother sneaking back out to your place, instead rafe suggested you actually stay—running you a hot bath before ordering take out.
it surprised you really, considering how you didn’t know what you guys were.
you both agreed to only be friends with benefits when this all started, but now you didn’t know if you wanted that or not.
you wanted something more with the blue eyed boy.
“what are we?” you asked while laying in his arms, the feeling of his breath trailing down your neck giving you comfort.
“friends with benefits.”
no hesitation was found in his voice. it was quick and sudden, just like your heart breaking.
“oh.”
you didn’t talk much with rafe after that night—leaving early in the morning to avoid further interaction.
rafe didn’t suspect anything though, knowing how busy you usually get with school and home life, but after that single day turned into almost a week, he knew something wasn’t right.
usually you’d be around the house or at the country club, but it felt like you were almost avoiding him.
when school started up that’s when things really started to hit for rafe. you were not only distancing yourself from him, but now you were hanging out with the pogues.
to him you had wiggled yourself into john b’s friend group, getting closer with everyone but mostly jj, the one pogue he despised more than the others.
it was the night of midsommars and you were preparing yourself to see rafe, your nerves seeming to skyrocket every time his name was mentioned.
“ARE you feeling okay, y/n/n? you’re all jittery” kie pointed out, her eyes locking with yours through the vanity mirror as you slowly brushed through your hair.
“i’m okay, kie— really. just nervous for tonight i guess” you shrugged, your response seeming convincing enough as she nodded.
“hey slow pokes! hurry up or we’re going to be late” jj called, pounding on the door making you and kie jump.
“fucking assholes” you mumbled.
MIDSOMMARS was something you always looked forward to.
the lights, the food, the beautiful dresses and people you got to meet—which was rare considering how almost everyone there were stuck up kooks who’s only personality trait was having money.
all except rafe.
he was different towards you, a lot different it was scary.
“jj, don’t get into any more fights, k?” kie sighed, licking the pad of her thumb before dragging it across his face—getting rid of the dirt that had formed there.
he didn’t say who specifically it was with—the fight—just claiming it was with some stupid kooks who didn’t know when to stop talking.
“yeah yeah” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair before sending you both a small smile.
he picked up his tray and spun it on his finger before sending her a wink, a blush coming to kie’s face as she quickly looked away.
“soooo, you and jj....” you said, the girl’s eyes rolling as she playfully pushed you away.
“enough about me, what about you?”
“me?” you raised an eyebrow, “what about me?”
“don’t play dumb, y/n/n. i’ve seen you come back late with hickeys.”
you grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the waiters walking by and took a long sip from it, your eyebrows twisting together— “this is good, you should try it.”
kie was about to protest until the music started to kick up again, your favorite song playing making you gasp.
you quickly placed the glass on an empty table before taking her hands and pulling her towards the dance floor.
“let’s dance!”
unknown to you—rafe had been watching you ever since you stepped foot into the venue.
IT was almost one in the morning when everyone had left, you and kie sitting at one of the empty tables while you waited for jj to finish up.
you hadn’t had that much to drink, but you could say you were a little tipsy.
“ready to go?” jj asked while throwing his arms around you both, a sarcastic grunt dropping from your lips at the sudden weight.
“we were about to leave yo-”
“well, well, well...if it isn’t the golden trio” a familiar voice spat, your head snapping to the side as your eyes fell on the devil himself.
rafe cameron and his little minions.
“if it isn’t daddy’s money, dumb, and dumber” kie snapped back—referring to topper and kelce who were standing on either side of him.
“put your dog on a leash maybank before we do it ourselves” rafe threatened, only causing jj to break from your side and lunge at the boy.
“jj, stop” you said, grabbing his arm as kie yanked him back, “he wants a reaction.”
“i didn’t see you there, y/n. so quiet and small, hard to notice you.”
which was obviously a lie. rafe noticed you the second he walked into the stupid party.
“what do you want, rafe? getting bored at the country club?” you asked, your lips dropping into a fake pout.
“actually the country club is entertaining, unlike some needy bitches who can’t satisfy my needs.”
your face dropped as kie gasped beside you—jj completely unaware of what was going on but still pissed at the way rafe was speaking to you.
rafe’s face dropped slightly at the realization of what he just said, nothing but lies falling from his mouth as his eyes filled with guilt.
“fuck you.”
YOU didn’t remember much after that. just the events taking place of jj trying to throw another punch at the boys before getting dragged away by kie.
the poor girl was trying to control her hot headed friend while the other was on the verge of tears.
but you refused to cry.
in front of rafe or not, you would not let yourself cry over him.
all you remember is crashing at john b’s house and waking up with a massive headache.
your legs were draped over kie’s as the two of you slept on john b’s bed, the boys taking the couch in the living room.
light from the outside peeked through the curtains as your eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness.
your phone laid next to you on the comforter as your hands dragged it closer.
what you weren’t expecting was a shitload of texts from rafe.
rafe cameron: i’m really sorry
[sent 1:34am]
rafe cameron: y/n
[sent 1:34am]
rafe cameron: i didn’t mean anything i said
[sent 1:36am]
rafe cameron: i was drunk and wasn’t thinking
[sent 1:40am]
rafe cameron: please hear me out
[sent 1:41am]
rafe cameron: meet me at our place
[sent 1:49am]
rafe cameron: 7:30am
[sent 1:51am]
you groaned loudly while reading his texts, the need to throwup swirling in your stomach as you tossed your phone to the side.
you ran your hands over your face as you thought on what to do, biting your bottom lip in the process as you stared at the wall in front of you.
after what felt like an hour of pondering, you let yourself slip off the bed and grab your hoodie that was thrown on the floor.
you were going to see him.
‘WHAT if she doesn’t show’ rafe thought to himself as he sat in the sand, his eyes locked on the waves crashing in front of him.
he was stupid last night.
the boy made a stupid mistake that he regretted deeply.
he just needs to show you how sorry he is.
“rafe.”
his head snapped in the direction of your voice, your figure standing a few feet from his as he then quickly stood up.
he dusted off his pants before nervously making eye contact, his throat suddenly drying up as he attempted to swallow what felt like a rock.
“y/n, i’m s-so so sorry for what i said yesterday. i-i didn’t mean any of it-”
“so what? i’m supposed to forgive you?” you cut off, raising an eyebrow as his mouth fell slightly, “what if it happens again?”
“i-it won’t! i swear it won’t. i was just drunk and jealous and really fucking stupid” he blabbered on, his hands shaking as he tried to defend himself.
“jealous?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing together as he nodded his head shamefully.
“of you and that stupid pogue.”
“jj?!”
he seemed to visibly retract from your words, his eyes narrowing as he bit the inside of his cheek.
“yeah, him.”
“so you acted the way you did...because of jj?” you slowly asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he stared at you.
“i didn’t mean it, y/n...” he frowned, his face dropping slightly as you waited for him to continue, “please give me another chance, i’ll show you how sorry i am—how much you mean to me.”
it was quiet for a good minute as your thoughts swarmed your mind for a response.
“rafe...”
“y/n, please.”
another minute went by, the only sound coming from the waves crashing along the shore.
“fine.”
IT had been five months since you forgave rafe, and things were honestly going better than you had expected.
after that morning on the beach he took you out on a proper date—ending in him walking you back to your house and even stealing a kiss.
he even stopped starting fights with jj and the other pogues, wanting you to know that he was better than that.
“WHAT do you want to watch?” rafe asked while flipping through channels, one hand holding the remote while the other rested on the small of your back.
“m’not sure, you can pick.”
he hummed in response before clicking on some random channel, not really planning on watching it anyway.
he tossed the remote to the side before looking down at you, admiring your relaxed state with your arms wrapped tightly around his torso.
“you know i love you right?” he suddenly asked, his voice low and soft as he stared at you from above.
“why so gushy, rafe?” you teased, your own head angling up to see him better.
he was so beautiful.
“i’m not gushy,” he rolled his eyes, “i just wanted to remind you.”
you blushed at his words before nuzzling back into the crook of his neck, your lips kissing the delicate skin making him smile.
“i love you too, rafe.”
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🏷rafe cameron taglist : @jordynsharum
a/n: could you tell i didn’t know how to end it
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firstbeachgoblin · 3 years ago
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Hey! I hope you’re well, can i request an imagine where reader is Embry’s imprint and they haven’t seen eachother in months because reader has a life she can’t just drop for him but she comes back when the pack is blowing up her phone ? Thank youu and don’t worry if you don’t write it, it’s fine!
Thank you for the request! It took a Long time But It's now complete with a total whopping 5k words!! Any way I hope you enjoy the fic.
I put it under the cut because it's so long but it's my brain baby at the moment lo.
Returning to you.
Embry Call x Reader
5058 words
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Most of my life has been spent in the Forks area so getting to travel to Europe for six months to see the art and culture was a dream come true. The past four months I’ve been travelling through Europe, starting in Greece and ending my trip in the Irish countryside.
The old art and architecture filled me with a joy that I could not get anywhere else in the world. The smells, sounds and sights all played their own part into the experience. I got to see the moon rise over Mount Olympus, the David by Michelangelo in the Vatican, tour through the Louvre, drink wine on the beaches of France and so much more. I’ve been living my best life.
It's been a dream to see the world, I've met so many new people and tried so much food. I’ve enjoyed every minute of my trip, but there was a part of me that longed for the beaches of La Push.
That part is Embry. Embry Call. My boyfriend, my pal, my love and my light. To me Embry is my everything and to him I’m his everything. That is one thing that has been made perfectly clear the past four months I’ve been away. Every day he’s told me he misses me and I know he means it, I’ve been told not just by him but also the rest of the pack.
Everyday I’ve woken up to ‘Good morning I miss you.” Sometimes he phones to tell me that he feels like he might die if I’m away for any longer. I always chuckle and tell him he will survive, it’s not like I’m going away forever; but that's what he feels like it is. This usually earns me a long winded whine from the other end of the line.
My phone buzzed against the smooth surface of the bedside table while Embry’s face flashed across my screen signalling that he’s calling. A smile graces my lips as I pick up the phone to be greeted with his loving voice.
“Hi (y/n)!! I miss you so much.” sadness was laced in his usual cheery greeting, it hurt my heart to be away from him but I would never trade this experience for anything. I’ve been planning this for years and I wasn’t going to pass up cheap plane tickets.
He filled me in on the pack's shenanigans, complaining about how they keep teasing him for being glued to his phone awaiting any updates I would send him. The later it got the heavier my eyelids seemed to feel, my speech started to slur with exhaustion of time zones while Embry continued to become more energetic with each passing minute.
“Em. . .” A yawn interrupted me mid sentence, a low whine emanated from the phone as he knew I would want to get to bed to have the energy for the long trip I’ll embark on tomorrow for Ireland, which is my last stop. I’d be spending the remaining two months of my trip in the lush countryside.
“I think I should get to sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I mumbled into the phone.
“But (y/n)!” he dragged out. I knew he wanted to talk longer but I physically cannot do it. Even though Embry and I don’t live together officially yet, we’d talk into the early morning till one of us fell asleep.
“But (y/n) what?” I dragged out the ‘a’ matching his whine.
“I miss you and want you to come home.” I could hear him pause over line before he continued.
“Besides, sleeping isn’t the same without you.”
I ran my hand through my hair gently tugging on the roots easing the tension that’s built up over my trip. As much fun as I’ve had, he does have a point. Sleeping just isn’t the same without Em. My nights have been spent restless in beds that aren’t mine without the comforting touch of my boyfriend; but that doesn’t mean I can just drop everything and go back home.
“Em you know I can’t just pack everything and go home. . .” I looked at the painting that hung over the tv that sat opposite of my bed. A puppy-like whimper fell from his lips when he spoke again, his voice cracked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart hearing him upset.
“I-I know I just really miss you.”
“I know Embry I miss you too, but it’s only two more months then I’ll be home.”
We chatted for ten more minutes before I fell asleep on the phone. As much as I missed falling asleep in his warm embrace I can’t just fly back home, not yet at least.
The blaring of my alarm woke me from my slumber. The clock face read 6:02 a.m. taking everything within myself to peel back the blankets that encased me in their warm grip. I patted through the bed sheets to find my phone only to knock it onto the floor in the process.
My lock screen adorned a photo of Embry with icing smudged across his face from his birthday party but a swamp of text messages from the pack covered my favourite photo of him. Five texts from Leah, seven from Jake, nine texts from Paul, 12 texts and two missed calls from Sam and a whole group chat titled ‘(y/n) come home.’
The group chat kept pinging with the members of the pack who were still awake discussing the logistics of flying out to Ireland to take me back home. Was Embry really causing that much strife in the pack for them to create a group chat? Knowing him, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.
Leah and I call once a week to check in and make sure the other is doing okay since I left. It’s one of my favourite parts of the week being able to have a one on one with someone sensible. Every week she fills me in on Embry begrudgingly, she does it because she knows it makes me happy which I appreciate.
Reading through her texts she didn’t say much in regards to Em’s behaviour the only message relating to him was “come get your man child please, he’s getting snot on the floor.”
I listened through Sam’s voice mails which were begging me to come home, he informed me that once Em knew I was asleep he started moping around Emily’s house again for the fourth consecutive night in a row. This was news to me.
The texts entailed that Embry was becoming a pain on patrol and that Paul ‘couldn’t take another minute of the incessant whining.’ I told them the same thing I told Embry; I’m not dropping everything and rushing back home to sooth the wails of a love sick boy. There isn’t much I can do from across the ocean anyway.
I stretched my body and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower before I had to leave for the airport.
I packed the few remaining things I left out to prepare for the flight and headed my way to the lobby to check out. I enjoyed travelling but I wasn’t going to miss sleeping in hotels and hostels.
Two weeks have passed since I touched down in Ireland and to say I’ve been having the time of my life is an understatement; I’ve been having a ball living my best life.
The land was capped in a luscious emerald green sea of grass that waved in the wind, the roads were lined with hand built stone walls that marked the division of farmers fields.
Sheep and cattle grazed in pastures, and old castles dotted the countryside. It was gorgeous. It was a view that I wanted to see again, a view I want to see with Embry.
It felt like time was flying by between sight seeing, trail hiking, museum tours and calls with Embry and Leah. It has already been a month. I had one more month before I was to jet set back to the U.S. and see my Embry.
One more month before I was back in La Push surrounded by the scent of sea water and trees with the looming threat of rain constantly overhead except in the summer. For two months of the year La Push was bright and sunny with the expected summer storms that happened.
I had fallen asleep on the phone with Embry again when I realized my phone was lost in the sea of sheets as it buzzed with an incoming phone call.
I couldn’t find it until the call had gone to voicemail and my phone landed on the ground when I gave up and ripped the blankets off of the bed but whoever called must have felt it was really important. Picking up my phone the most unflattering photo of Jacob was plastered on the screen, his name in white.
“Hello?” I asked groggily into the phone, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at the clock which said in bold red numbers 1 am.
“Hey (y/n)! You sound like you just woke up.” I heard him chortle from the other end.
“That’s because I just woke up Jake, it’s one in the morning.” a yawn escaped my lips, I know I’ll have a rough time getting over jet lag when I go home.
He occupied twenty minutes with idle chatter and borderline interrogation about all the sights I’ve seen before I asked him why he was calling me so early in the morning
“Embry has spent the week at my house, you need to come home there’s nothing we can do anymore to occupy him till you return.” He sighed, Jake knows I want to finish my trip but we made a deal that I would come home early if there were absolutely no options left to keep Embry from sending the pack into hysterics.
I knew he was buttering me up for something.
“Are you sure you can’t figure something out? It’s just another month!”
“Another month of him eating my cereal and getting dirt on me from my dad!”
I snorted with laughter at the fact that Billy was telling Embry every embarrassing detail from his childhood.
“Jake please just let me think about it okay?” I sighed, flopping back into my hollowed cave of blankets and sheets.
“Okay, I’ll let you think about it but don’t think I won’t be telling Sam.” he warned.
We laughed together and he wished me a good night before hanging up the phone, before I slipped back into slumber I sent Jake one more text.
‘You wake me up at one in the morning again and it’s over for you.’ in which he responded with ‘Oh no I’m so scared lol.’
I reached over to the bedside table and plugged my phone in before the sweet embrace of warmth and slumber took over my senses.
The next three days I was bombarded with texts from Paul whining about the wolf mind link and how every patrol shift he had with Embry was spent tuning out his constant thoughts of me.
Standing in the shower with hot water running over my skin soothing my tense muscles I heard my phone buzz against the granite countertop. I rolled my eyes and continued to bask in the endless hotel hot water.
As bad as staying in hotels could be, the hot water made up for the early breakfast and sheets that were tucked in a little too tightly.
I had shampoo in my hair when my phone started buzzing again, this time with a call. I grumbled under the stream of water washing away the soap before it could get in my eyes; whoever's calling can wait.
I moved on to conditioning my hair, letting it sit while I wash the rest of my body with a lightly scented lavender soap.
I refused to use the complimentary soap because it dried out my skin and the lotion just left me feeling sticky instead of moisturized.
Watching the soap run down the drain my phone rang again, I clenched my fists, who could possibly be calling me now? I still refused to get out of my steamy heaven to answer my phone.
My gut told me that whoever was calling wouldn’t let up until I answered. I washed out the conditioner from my hair and wrapped it in a towel.
The mirror was coated in a layer of steam, the tiles were cool against my feet. I wrapped the plush towel around my body, mopping up the droplets of water that remained.
My phone started vibrating with rapid fire text messages from the pack’s group chat they made a month ago. I sighed, picking it up to sift through the messages. I read a message from Jared telling me he’d pay me to return.
The pack always made me laugh, together they’re a walking sitcom. There is never a dull moment with them, someone always had something witty or sarcastic to say.
I checked to see who had called me and it turned out it was Sam, I listened to his voice mails and immediately phoned him back.
As soon as I hit the call button it only rang for half a second before he picked up.
“Thank you for calling back, I thought I’d have to call two more times.” he chuckled.
“Well I was in the middle of a shower, can’t really take a call there.” I moved through the room with my phone pressed between my shoulder and cheek. Stopping at my suitcase to pick out what I was going to wear for the day.
“I’m going to be frank with you, I need you to come home. . .” I let out a huff before he continued.
“Embry needs you badly, he’s just a pile of mush on the floor now. It’s a chore to get him up to go on patrol. Please?”
“Fine, I’ll see what I can do Sam, I’ll try to book a flight for the earliest date I can find.” I knew I was giving in but from what they were telling me and the constant texts were getting to be difficult to manage.
“Thank you, when you get back I’ll buy you take out for a month okay?”
“I hate that you know what my weakness is.” I laughed through the phone, a month of free take out? Hell yeah. It made the prospect of going back a little brighter since I wasn’t going to complete the rest of my trip.
I wasn’t losing out on too much though, I had seen and done everything that I wanted. It wouldn’t be too bad to go home early.
We talked for a couple more minutes before parting ways, I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce a couple times before turning my attention back to getting dressed. Since I had a flight to book it was okay to spend the rest of the day lounging in pj’s.
The soft fabric of my pj’s brushed against my skin as I jumped into bed with my computer in hand, and now it was time to book a flight back home. Maybe text Paul and tell him he can quit complaining as well.
I woke up the next morning with my flight booked for take off in the afternoon and my daily good morning text from Embry. I felt a little sad to be leaving such a beautiful country but the trees, ocean and Embry all called my name.
Pacing through the room I grabbed the comfiest set of clothes I packed for my return flight back to Seattle, I had enough time to sleep on the plane to be conscious enough for the three and a half hour drive back to La Push.
I was set for a long day ahead of me but it was going to be worth it in the end, seeing the bright and happy face of my boyfriend, getting to hug him and kiss him again.
I made one last check of the room before I gathered my clothes and toiletry kit and made my way into the bathroom to shower before my long flight. As I was stepping into the shower my phone pinged from the counter with a text from Sam.
“Have you booked that flight yet?” it read.
“Yeah I’m due for take off at 1. I should be back in La Push some time tomorrow!”
My fingers brushed the cool surface of the counter top as I put my phone back and got into the shower, hot water immediately running down my back; this time my phone wasn’t being blown up by a desperate wolf pack trying to get my attention.
I can’t sit in the shower for hours on end this time, I have a flight to catch and a boy to surprise. Embry was currently still under the impression that I would be coming home in two weeks. Boy would he be in for a surprise.
The residual steam wafted out of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth revealing my towel wrapped body and hair in the mirror behind the skin. I checked the time and noted that I had two hours to check out, make my way to the airport, and check into my flight back home. Two more hours before I could smell the trees and ocean, two more hours before I could see my friends and hug Embry.
The time managed to move by in a blur by the time I was shutting the trunk of the yellow cab that was going to drop me off at the airport. I got into the back seat and the driver peeled away from the hotel front onto the winding roads.
“Aye where are you headin’?” The driver inquired in a thick Irish accent.
One thing I noticed in my stay here was that the accent changed in every town or village I passed through. It added to the charm
“Well, I’m on my way home after spending six months in Europe.” My eyes scanned over the green hills that rushed past in a blur.
“My favourite places I’ve been have definitely been Ireland and Greece.” I smiled towards him.
The lines around his eyes crinkled with the smile that graced his face at the mention of Ireland.
“Well that’s good to hear innit? Glad you’ve enjoyed your stay. We welcome ya with open arms if you return.”
We held a light conversation until we arrived in front of the drop off area for passengers, thanked him and grabbed my bags before heading into the crowded lobby.
The front of the terminal was metal and glass that reached towards the heavens with automatic doors gaping open like a mouth. Inside was a dull white with light grey floor which my shoes clicked against with each step.
It was packed with people like a can of sardines, I weaved my way through the masses towards the check in desk which thankfully only had a short line to get through.
Under the mix of fluorescents and natural light the desk lady’s bags that donned under her eyes glared with visible exhaustion from the mass amounts of people that swarmed the terminal.
Despite her clear drowsiness she still greeted me with a warm smile and a soft hello.
I grabbed my ticket and thanked her then turned and pushed myself through to the security check, dropped my luggage off and took a seat to wait for the boarding call for my flight.
As I waited grey clouds started to fill the sky blocking out the little sun that was once shining in its place.
My eyes grew heavier by each minute that passed, waiting could be hard, but waiting in an airport where there’s no sense of time is worse. So I distracted myself by people watching.
A lady was bouncing her baby, the old man across from me was snoring. A businessman paced back and forth speaking urgently into his phone, a family chatted excitedly for their family trip to the Canary Islands.
I pulled my eyes away from them as the call for my flight rang out over the crowded terminal, grabbing my suitcase and making my way towards the gate.
Excitement filled my every step as the anticipation grew and bubbled inside me. I gave the greeting flight attendant a small smile and made my way to my seat, for being last minute I managed to get a window seat.
We sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes before taking off and before I knew it the seat belt light pinged off and I was fast asleep jet setting my way back to America, back to my home.
I couldn’t tell what time it was when I woke up but the clock on the tv screen said 2 a.m. and that we’re due to arrive in an hour. I sat up in my seat and gazed out the window into the starry night sky.
Energy started to course through me as I watched the arrival time tick closer and closer. A light rain misted down over Seattle as I left the Seatac terminal and made my way through the maze of cars in the night that was made darker by the rain.
I spotted my blue Subaru and popped the trunk so my interior and seats wouldn’t get wet. It had been a long six months since I last sat in my driver's seat, the wheel almost felt foreign in my hands as I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.
I drove through the winding roads of the city to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry to take the 45 minute ride into Bainbridge and headed North to get on the 101 then turn onto 110 which would take me back into the heart of La Push.
The closer I got to Forks the brighter the sky became; well as bright as it could be on a gloomy day. The clouds became painted in the glow of purple and pink as the sun rose over the horizon, the rain had let up and left me with an overcast sky for the remainder of the drive back.
Since I slept virtually the entire flight back I didn’t feel the weight of exhaustion at all, but surely when I arrived back in the arms of Embry I knew I’d hit the wall with sleep deprivation.
As I barreled through the corridor of trees I passed the signature ‘welcome to Forks’ sign and turned right onto the 110, twenty minutes to home. I was so close but my soul felt like it was light years away.
The clock on my radio told me that it was currently 6:45, the pinks and purples that coated the sky faded away to the typical grey that fills my senses with delight. Sea salt and washed up kelp started to seep into the air that circulated into my car making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
Closer to Beach Drive I got the stronger the smell of the ocean became. The turn signal clicked as I turned onto the road that gave way to Sam and Emily’s house so they could take me over to Embry’s in the off chance that he happened to be awake at this hour.
It’s highly unlikely that he would be up at this hour but it’s not something I could be one hundred percent positive about. I stepped out of my car and turned around to see Emily running as fast as she possibly could towards me with open arms and a huge smile plastered across her face.
Dropping my bags I dashed across their lawn into her embrace.
“Oh (y/n)! I missed you so much, you must be so tired.” She released me from her hug and settled her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.
“I missed you too Emily, I knew I’d be tired but not this tired.” I chuckled while wiping at my under eyes in a feeble attempt to wipe away the exhaustion.
She put her hand on my lower back and led me inside for the awaiting cup of tea while Sam moved my bags into his truck.
The warmth of their home embraced me, the comfort of their kitchen was familiar. The only thing missing was the rowdy group of boys that made up the pack who usually occupied every available seat in the home.
I took a seat at the kitchen table where three cups of tea sat waiting, I should have expected a q and a when I returned. Wrapping my hands around the mug the warmth that radiated from it filled my hands.
Emily took a seat beside me and Sam entered through the door and sat adjacent to both of us.
“So how was the trip?” We sat around their table chatting until our cups were empty and filed out of the house into the early morning air.
“Emily and I will drive your car back to your place after I drop you off at Embry’s, the kid’s been sleeping in my living room more often than I’d appreciate.” Sam’s eyes crinkled with a smile, I knew he was joking but at the same time there was truth to his words; and honestly I couldn’t blame him.
“Thank you for putting up with him while I was gone, I owe you guys one and you owe me take out for a month.” He rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair turning into the Call's driveway. Embry’s mom had already left for work leaving him to his own devices; which meant he would sleep in as late as his heart desired.
We got out of Sam’s truck and he dropped my bags on the doorstep. I turned and gave him a quick hug and a thank you before sticking my key into the lock.
The door creaked open and I dragged my suitcases to a stop in their front entry way and shut it behind me.
My shoes landed on the floor with a soft thud and I gingerly walked up the stairs to ensure I wasn’t too noisy while making sure to avoid the one squeaky stair.
I got to the top of the stairs and hung a left down their light beige hallway that gave way to the oak door that guarded Embry’s room. His soft snores filtered through the door, it’s door knob was cool in my hand. Making an audible click with the turn of my wrist.
Dark mahogany brown hair peaked up from beneath the sheet that tucked Embry’s body out of view. One pillow was on the floor while the other was tucked firmly between his cheek and arm, I smiled at the sight of my sleeping boyfriend which filled my every inch with the utmost joy.
My sock covered feet pressed into the carpeted flooring with each step I took towards his bed making sure to step over the piles of dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.
The sun filtered through the gaps in the window blinds casting pools of golden light on the floor and along his walls causing the crystal prism that hung above his closet to sweep dashes of colour across his walls.
I pulled back the grey top sheet to reveal his peaceful face and I swear my heart was going to burst with the amount of love that I feel for him. His hair was tousled in every direction and a cow lick stuck straight up on the left side of his head.
My hands ran over his hair, smoothing it out while I whispered his name. Embry groaned a bit and rolled over, I whispered his name a little bit louder and moved my hands from his hair to his shoulders running them along his arms finally waking him from his slumber.
“Hi Em!” I gushed out as his brown eyes opened and focused on me. His face split with his toothy smile and his arms shot around me, pulling me down into his chest.
“Do you know how much I missed you?” Embry mumbled into my hair.
“I figured a lot with the amount of texts I got from the pack.” I reached up brushing the hair from his face.
“You can never leave me for that long again. . .I didn’t know what to do without you here.” He ran his hands through my hair placing a gentle kiss upon the top of my head.
“I was so worried about you. I couldn’t protect you and make sure you were safe.”
“Well next time I’ll make sure you can come, then you don’t have to worry.” Craning my neck up I placed a kiss upon his lips which were still a bit swollen from slumber.
“The important thing is that I returned safe and in one piece. The other important thing is I get to spoil you with the gifts I brought back!”
His laugh filled the room sending vibrations through my body.
“Hey! That’s my job to spoil you, not the other way around.” He ruffled my hair causing us both to laugh. I peeled off my socks and wiggled my way under his blanket.
“I think it’s time we catch up on six months worth of cuddling.” I poked a finger into his side.
“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, you owe me for being gone so long.”
“What? I came back early!” His hands made their way under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my back sending waves of heat through my body from being pressed into him. Oh how I missed my heater.
“Yeah, by like what? Two weeks?” his silky voice chuckled out.
“I missed you Embry.” I told him, placing a kiss on his exposed shoulder.
“I missed you too. Now let's go back to sleep, you look tired.” He said to me as he rested his chin atop my head and pulling me closer.
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