#and now that family is ruined forever his parents and brother he left behind are not the same people anymore

[insignificantchoiminho]

I want to be clear, the point of me sharing that previous story about my old friend was that I've known people in my life who have made stupid decisions because of alcoholism/addiction that have altered the course of their lives but I still showed up and supported them the best way i could, because at the end of the day addiction doesn't make you a bad person. Tough love is sometimes necessary, if you want to get through to someone to help themselves. But expressing derision is another thing altogether. It's especially cruel concerning a disease that impairs decision making to a degree that can endanger others. People love to dogpile on a celebrity obviously going through some shit, and it does nothing to help anyone struggling with addiction, it just compounds the shame and stigma around it.

[hayanahed]

Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family From GAZA WAR

Dear Humanity,

I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).

I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.

Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.

The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.

We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.

Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.

A brief video depicting the devastation that struck our home and our entire neighborhood in Gaza.

Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare

I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.

These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.

MY Father Income

Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future

My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.

As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.

When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.

We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.

As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.

Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.

Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.

I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.

Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.

The purpose of the fundraising campaign

The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.

All of our important links are here https://linktr.ee/hayanahed

Verified by :

⭐️ operation olive branch, number 26 on their spreadsheet. (On Master list)

⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249 on their spreadsheet. Or you could see it as number 212 here is the photo for more clear proof

Thank you for your kindness and support.

.جزاكم الله خيراً

yours sincerely;

Haya Alshawish.

[glitchy-witchy1994]

In this AU(Named "The living rose"), Grandma Rosiepuff did not die trying to save Branch.

She is still alive and well.

Clay decided to stay at the Troll tree instead of leaving.

The Burgens were eating Trolls since before Brozone started and that is the reason why Brozone's parents are missing. They got eaten a month after Branch was born.

If you have other questions about this AU feel free to ask!

Enjoy!

"See what happens when you don't follow my lead?" John Dory exclaimed as he entered their Grand Mother's pod, clearly furious about their first show being ruined.

Spruce, who was following the leader close, stopped and looked at John with an offended look. "Dude, that is exactly what happens when we follow your lead." He responded.

John turned to face Spruce. "Oh, so it's my fault? Is that what you're saying?" He asked, getting back to his own obsession to reach the perfect family harmony. "I know we can reach the perfect family harmony."

Spruce rolled his eyes and looked back at John. "What if we don't want to?"

"Yeah, dude." Clay added, as he made his presence known after entering the pod and hearing his two older brother arguing. "This used to be fun. Now it's all about being perfect." he added, looking at John with a sad expression, hoping John would see and realize his mistakes.

But instead, Spruce spoke up once more. "You know what? I'm done playing the heartthrob. My exquisitely chiseled rock-hard abs and I quit." He said as he ripped his puffed purple jacket.

Hearing this, Clay agreed and had enough as well. "I quit too, and you can keep these." He said as he ripped his funderdrawers and threw them at John's face. "I'm more than just the fun one. I'm in a sad book club, did you know that? A sad book club. I'm gonna find Trolls who take me seriously." he added, but before he could do anything else, John huffed.

"Fine. I don't need this. I'm out. I'm done. I'm sorry." The leader said as he turned away, grabbing his grappling hook and backpack. "I'm gonna go hike the Neverglade Trail by myself, bro-lone." He grunted as he pulled the trigger on his grappling hook out the window. "Yeah, that's right. Bro-bro going solo! Yolo! Goodbye forever." He added as he left out the window.

Spruce and Clay rolled their eyes. "Fine! I'm out of here." Clay said first, as they then heard John yell "Later, losers." from afar. "Same here" Spruce agreed, following Clay out the door. Leaving Floyd and Branch with their Grandma.

As Clay was walking away from their home, Spruce following close behind, he started to think about the situation. If John was gone, they could come back and live however they want! John won't be there to ruin everything anymore! John won't be there to stop them from doing the things they loved to do anymore! Best of all, John won't be there to always blame Clay for everything anymore either! And they could be with Branch instead of abandoning him! "Oh god, I was about to abandon Branch..." He though stopping dead in his track. Spruce passed by him, still angry about everything. Clay reached for Spruce's arm to make him stop and listen. "Spruce... maybe we should go back home." he said, his voice giving away the fact he was scared.

"What? Why would you do that?" Spruce said, somehow Clay's words were making him even angrier. "Do you really want to go back there? Things won't get better, it'll just be worst." He added, yanking his arm away from Clay's grip.

"N-no! John is gone, Spruce. He can't make things worst if he's gone! We can finally do the things we want to do!" Clay said, trying to convince Spruce, the brother he was closest to, to go back home with him.

Spruce slowly took a few steps back. "What I always wanted was to leave and live my life however I want, somewhere else." He said, turning away and leaving. He did not even look back when Clay tried to plead for him to turn back.

Clay was left alone at the base of the tree, wondering if he really should leave or stay. If he left, he could start his own sad book club, go to college, meet new people...

But on the other hand, if he stayed, Branch and Floyd wouldn't be alone... he could spend time with them and have the best time! But what was the point if his only best friend is gone..?

He thought for a long moment before making up his mind. He was going to stay! He turned back and went back to his Grandma's pod. As he entered, Floyd was gone and Rosiepuff had just gotten Branch to bed. "Where's Floyd?" Clay asked, as his Grandma make a sad face.

"He left too." She answered, going back to the table and finish her game by herself.

Clay sighed, went to his room to gather his things and left again. But this time, he found an empty pod close to his Grandma's pod to live on his own.

*****

As the years passed, Branch and Clay would spend a lot of time together and have the best time! Clay would help Branch become more vigilant and alert as to not get taken by Burgens, and Branch would tell his Grandma everything once he was back home. Branch loved having Clay around, but he missed the others a lot.

Clay was growing tall and his hair were slowly turning green, just like his skin was getting more green-ish blue. "He is starting to look like you, Rosalina!" Rosiepuff thought, as she remembered her daughter. She was tall, like Rosiepuff, had soft green-ish blue skin tone, magenta hair and blue eyes. She remembered how Rosalina would laugh at everything and was always full of joy. She was protective of her sons, sing them lullabies and be the best mom Rosiepuff knew she would become.

Grandma shook her head, now was not the time to cry. She needed to be strong for her two Grandsons.

One day, the King asked everyone to meet inside of the tree for a very important meeting with the entire tribe. There he explained, without the Burgens knowing, that they had dug up a tunnel that lead to their freedom and that he wanted everyone to be ready to leave early in the morning.

They were going to leave right before Trollstice would begin.

Without hesitations, all Trolls began building fake copies of themselves to trick the Burgens and they all packed their things.

The next morning, Trollstice began earlier than usual. Since the Burgen Prince never tasted a Trolls, the Burgens decided to celebrate early, which made the Trolls' escape difficult. Their escape was discovered and the Burgens started to dig and search for the Trolls...

In the tunnels, Branch had gotten separated from his Grandma through the chaos and was searching franctically for her or his brother. Rosiepuff had gotten out, but was forced to stay out when she tried to go back for her Grandsons. Branch panicked and was about to break down, but his arm got snatched by Clay who was running as fast as he could.

But the tunnel in front of them collapsed. Clay made a split second decision and threw Branch away in front right before the debris of the tunnel hit the ground. Branch was safe and made it out, but Clay was nowhere to be found...

Thinking they just had lost Clay, Branch turned grey as Rosiepuff tried to make him believe he might still be alive, but Branch had already lost hope...

****

Back in the tunnel, Clay groaned from pain as he got caught by the debris of the collapse. His legs were stuck under big rocks and he couldn't move. A few minutes passed by and he heard some noises. He opened his eyes and saw Princess Viva running to him with some other survivors.

They got him out and tried to find another way to escape, but they got cornered. That was then that Princess Viva, filled with sadness and regrets, fought back against the Burgens. Clay, with a broken leg, helped the rest of the survivors escape out of Burgen town through the streets.

Making sure they weren't spotted by other Burgens, Clay successfully brought everyone to safety, with Viva following soon after.

"Is everyone alright?" Viva asked, then looked at Clay after everyone else nodded. "What about you? What's your name? You look familiar!" She asked, looking at Clay up and down.

"I'm fine. My name is Clay." He responded.

"Nice to meet you! My name's Viva, but you probably already knew that! I saw how you helped everyone escape while I was fighting those meanies off." She said, thinking for a moment and then looked back at Clay. "Would you accept to help me lead them to a new home?" She asked.

"It would be my pleasure!" He responded, with a small smile.

She smiled back and they took off to find a new home. After a few hours, Viva found an old abandoned Golf course and decided to turn it into a new Troll utopia.

Once everyone was settled, Viva went to see her new friend. "Hey! How's your leg?" She asked as she sat down beside him on a bench.

"Still hurts, but it should be fine!" Clay answered. "How are you?" He asked, knowing what she had just lost the very same day. And since no one was around, she finally broke down.

She cried for hours, with Clay comforting her as best as he could. While she cried, he couldn't stop thinking about Branch. Was he safe? Did he make it out? Was Grandma gone? He had no answers to these questions, but deep down, he hoped they were okay.

Once Viva calmed down, she looked at him with a serious expression. "Will you lead these survivors with me?" She asked, looking away now with a sad expression. "I-I can't lead them on my own..."

"Of course! I'll help you out!" He replied with a smile.

Viva smiled back as she heard his response, she looked back at him again. "Pinky promise you won't leave me too?" She asked, lifting her closed fist up with only her pinky out.

Clay took her pinky in his, as he answered: "I pinky promise!"

[sneakyblinders]

this line of work pt 4

A/N: here it is! the last and final chapter of this line of work. Check out the master list to read the other 3 parts. This will segue into Anthony's story. :) warnings: language, mentions of injury, very brief mention of tommy's suicide attempt, drugs. 1.3k words. I take no credit for the gif!

The Shelby children, most of whom were no longer children, filed into their father’s office in a single file line, as if preparing for a lecture or execution. The whispers amongst them all made their mother giggle. The anticipation was killing all of them. 

“What is this all about?” Isabel asked, grumpy from being pulled from her work. 

“Peter, they tell you everything, what is going on?” Kate asked, snipping at her older brother, who looked at her with raised eyebrows. 

“Is everyone alright?” Claire asked. “Is Mummy okay? Oh hell, is Daddy okay?” she asked, eyes flashing with panic. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “Everyone is fine, there are just things they want to discuss as a family.” 

Kate gasped. “They do tell you everything. I swear, the rest of us are chopped liver.”

Peter rolled his eyes again, taking his seat across from his father. The rest of them sat in various chairs or lounges in the office, their parents behind the giant oak desk. Tommy sat in his chair, Bee perched in his lap, his arms protectively around her, solemn looks on both of their faces. 

“We’re all here,” William announced, eager to get the conversation started. 

“Thank you all for coming,” Bee started, Tommy’s grip on her lower back strengthening, as if to convey his strength to her. “Your father and I would like to tell you some rather unpleasant truths. Truths that concern all of you. Things you all deserve to know. I apologize in advance for ruining your Thursday.” 

A somber silence fell across the room, their children shifting uncomfortably in their seats. “This has all come about,” Tommy began, reaching for a cigarette. Bee reached for it, lit it between her lips and passed it to him. Anthony rolled his eyes. “Because our Claire,” he exhaled smoke. “Wants to go back to the life your mother and I escaped from. And we wanted to offer a bit of–insight–as to why we left.” 

Peter’s face remained stoic, but a fire was in his belly. Rage at his sister for the blatant disregard for his parents feelings in all of these matters. He was the only one old enough to remember. The only one whose memories of his very early years were tainted by an affair, a near death experience for both his parents, murder, a kidnapping and a suicide attempt on his fathers part, along with multiple health scares. All of which culminated in their leaving the life of illegitimacy, corruption and violence. Which led them to the life of peace, legitimacy and abundance they had now. The life his siblings all knew and loved. 

And with that as their introduction, Bee and Tommy launched into story after story of the terrible years, bracketed on either side by the best years of their lives together. The girls cried, the boys hung their heads in shame, awe and fear. Every one of them looked at both of their parents differently by the time they were finished with their story. Their sweet mother was a murderer–hands bloodied by their fathers lover. Their fierce and dauntless father changed forever by a traumatic brain injury, exacerbating underlying mental stresses and fatigue he already faced and fought since the war. 

Claire sat in silence, her heart overwhelmed. Images of the bulletwound on her mothers leg flashed through her mind. She’d never really looked at her mother, and she wasn’t sure if that was the part that made her sad, or if it was because the image she had in her mind of her mother was now destroyed. Wrecked. Altered forever. 

The rest of the siblings walked out of the office, murmuring to one another in disbelief, headed to the kitchens for a snack–a much needed one after that tense conversation. 

Claire stayed behind. Her arms crossed in front of her chest, she shifted uncomfortably underneath her parents' gaze. “I suppose you want to tell me I am forbidden from seeing Paul.” 

Tommy sighed. “Fucking hell,” he mumbled under his breath, reaching for another cigarette. 

Bee rubbed his back soothingly. “Darling,” Bee began. “We want you to make your own decision. But we do just want you to understand the risks that come with that life. We have no interest in being in it again or seeing any of our family in it again. The choice is yours, however.” 

Claire chewed her lip. 

“So,” Tommy said, exhaling smoke, looking rather like a dragon to his daughter. “What will you choose, Claire?” 

The next week, the Shelby Manor bustled with activity. Everyone was present for this meeting–the melding of the two worlds. Tommy had chain smoked far too many cigarettes, stress laying heavily on his shoulders. 

“What the fuck is she thinking, Bee?” he asked his wife, who was finishing getting ready for dinner, putting his favorite earrings on. 

“I don’t know, Lovey,” she said absentmindedly, standing up to have him help her with her necklace. 

His hands shook as he clasped the necklace on, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck to ground himself. Back to this earth. Back to reality. 

“This is what she wants. We have to support her, or drive her away, and I don’t think you want to drive your little girl away,” Bee said, smoothing down the front of his suit, hands resting on his chest. 

“No, no, I don’t want to drive any of my children away,” he mumbled. 

“Mum! Daddy! Come on!” they heard Claire yell from the bottom of the steps. They both rolled their eyes. 

“Will she ever learn not to shout across the house?” Tommy asked, taking his wife’s hand and leading her down the hallway to the staircase. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Shelby!” A thick Irish accent jeered from the bottom of the steps. A tall, lanky red haired man stood next to Claire, his arm around her waist. “Thank you for this lovely invitation,” he smiled a bit too broadly for Tommy’s liking. 

“Welcome to our home, Paul,” Bee smiled, her charm turned all the way up for her daughter's sake. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Shelby. I’ve heard much about both of you,” the young man smiled, bowing slightly to the both of them. 

“Dinner’s this way,” Tommy brusquely said, turning towards the dining room. 

Claire eyed Paul apprehensively as he walked with her to the dining room, where all the other members of the family were already seated. 

Anthony adjusted uncomfortably in his seat, eyeing the young man his sister was infatuated with. 

“Anthony!” Paul exclaimed, and all of the color drained from Anthony’s face. 

Claire became very fidgety, toying with the hem of her sweater. 

Anthony stood up to shake Paul’s hand and Bee’s mind began to whir. “You two know each other?” she asked. 

“Of course! Anthony, lad, you didn’t tell them?” Paul said, looking at Anthony, who wouldn't meet his gaze. “Anthony here is one of my best runners down here in Birmingham,” Paul beamed proudly at them. 

“Runners of what?” Bee asked, Tommy’s grip on her waist strengthening as his jaw clenched tighter and tighter. 

“Cocaine of course,” Paul said nonchalantly. 

Bee’s mouth dropped open. Peter grumbled, “Fuck,” from the other end of the table, his head in his hands. 

Tommy nearly imploded. “I’m sorry, do you care to explain?” Bee asked, looking at her youngest son. 

“He’s quite accomplished for his age, Mrs. Shelby,” Paul added. 

“I’m not speaking to you, Mr. Davidson, I am speaking to my son,” Bee said firmly before adjusting her sights back on her son. “Anthony!” she bellowed. 

“Can we talk about this after dinner, Mum?” Anthony said, not meeting her gaze. 

Bee simmered, Tommy’s rage evident through his lack of speaking. “We will speak after dinner. Just the three of us. And you,” Tommy pointed at Paul. “Are not to leave until we’re finished. Because I need to speak to you. Man to man.” 

Paul nodded his head, unaffected by Tommy’s quiet rage. 

At that moment, Tommy wasn’t sure what he was more afraid of. The man’s blatant disregard for his anger, or his inability to sense his son's betrayal sooner.

Tag list: @peakyltd @cctoma @lyarr24 @shelbyteller @mrsnshelby88 @skydisneylover @babygaga67 @mariarozasworld @kemillyfreitas @cyphah

[thedarknessyouhold]

COMIC REFERENCES #1

"When Freddy's magically gifted brother is taken by humans, him and his three friends must traverse the land to find him, before the last family he has left, is gone forever."

Disclaimer:[This is my own personalized FNAF story. It doesn't take place in the same universe as the regular games, but a universe that experimented in positively progressing in mutating animals and humans, instead of technology. Mutants are seen as dangerous and higher ups do anything to find them, what happens after they are found is unknown.]

Characters:

Goldie Fazbear: Only 13 years old, Golden Freddy, (mostly called Goldie) acquired mysterious powers at a young age that tend to be powerful and sometimes uncontrollable. Spending his days in the small cottage him and his brother live in outside the town of Forrest due to… previous incidents… he spends his time replaying all his movies and video games in the barn, hoping Freddy comes home early today, or hoping the voice in his head controlling his body will finally go away along with his stupid powers that ruined his chance at a normal existence. Whichever comes first.

Bonnie Bunsworth: The youngest and ONLY doctor that hasn’t been driven off by one of Goldie’s outbursts, Bonnie’s sudden appearance in the town of Forrest was unexpected, but welcomed. Only 12 years old, and walking into town one day without any belongings, looking for work and a place to stay, his knowledge of his field and the world of the past and present is extremely vast…and extremely mysterious…

Freddy Fazbear: The older brother of Golden Fazbear, Freddy spends his days in the town of Forrest working at his tailor shop trying to relax, and hoping to the gods that he doesn’t get a call of another complaint from yet another townsfolk about Goldie’s “definitely controllable” antics. Skilled in his work but shaky at being an older brother figure, Freddy is dead set of “fixing” his brother Goldie like he does the clothing in his shop. Even if it means he has to do ANYTHING to do so.

Chica Chickery: Freddys best friend since he showed up in Forrest with his little brother years ago, Chica runs her late parents bakery with a heart of gold… and a bit of sugar! Always caught up in the gossip in town but humble, Chica is never afraid to give her goods to others for free, and tell others the hard truth of needed. A true friend, she will always be by your side, even in the hardest times!

Foxy Fitcherman: The oldest of the group, Foxy has spent most of his early days adventuring and pillaging through the shores and seas around Animatica and Humantica with a loyal crew. Now, he spends his days in his fish shop by the Forrest pier, in his wood chair behind the counter, catching zzz’s until a customer graces him with their business or a chat. A loyal man with a hook, Foxy ain’t afraid to stand up for the ones he cares about and to protect them. Even if it means he gets to wear his old boots, trusty pirates hat and have a bit of sword fightin in the process…

For General Information Go Here: FAQ

REFERENCES #2 - References #2 coming soon!

Close Up’s:

[babygirl-riley]

Part III

After getting to the base, Price holds a meeting about Makarov. He has came out of his hiding hole, the only way to find out more of where he is and that means to find Valeria.

Warnings: violance, trauma, mentions of childhood trauma, swearing, fluff, nothing too crazy just military talk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ghostly Ruins

simon x reader guide

Previous Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🐈‍��💀~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tossed and turned watching the clock; 03:00, the red light illuminates the room. Simon next to you softly snoring, you were happy that he was able to sleep. Something deep down inside you didn’t feel right. Not a sickness. Just a feeling. Your chest was heavy, felt like your heart was beating slowly and firm. Part of yoh thought maybe you were asleep for bit due to not being able to move. Maybe you didn’t want to. All you could think about at this moment was something wasn’t right. Something wrong was going to happen, the feeling you would get back when you were just a rookie.

When a young child would be carrying a grenade to your squad. That deep feeling, that did make you feel sick. You kept whispering to yourself, “Don’t do it.” “Come on kid.” It was you, your squad, or him. You closed your eyes and swallowed at the fact you had to make choices like those. Choices that made you rethink your career. Why would people send their children to deal with their war? You didn’t want to be the one to take a child’s life away, let alone make that decision when they didn’t even know what their parents made for them.

Another time you got that feeling was when you were home with your family. You had that gut feeling something was wrong but couldn’t put a finger on it. All of you waited for your brother to get there, you knew he was coming home from deployment like you did. Both of you were on the phone, wanting to surprise dad. Instead this time two military men came to your father’s door during the holiday, telling you and your family about your brother not coming home. Instead having a Christmas, your family had a funeral.

Or when you felt something bad was going to happen when getting to Alejandro’s base. As Graves informed them. Being alone and left behind as you, Ghost, and Soap were separated. People dead in the streets, not even soldiers, innocent men, women, and children.

That feeling hitting you, the dread? Maybe. Whatever it is that is what you are feeling right now. Like something bad was going to happen. Maybe it’s cause you can’t fucking sleep. Sometimes sleep could mix feelings everywhere. You inhaled deeply and slowly got up looking back at Simon who was still asleep. You wanted to wake him up, have him hold you. However, Simon rarely slept, at least good sleep like right now. You looked as his tatted arm was draped across his chest and his other arm beneath his head. He looked beautiful. When you first started a relationship he thought his scars and burns made him ugly so he didn’t go around naked. Now after time when you would show him how handsome he was. He was now comfortable. Then it made you think, does he ever get his sunken feeling? Everything always comes back to this thought at the moment.

You sighed as you rubbed you face for a moment. What is going to happen? Maybe you should take being sick, but that wouldn’t help anyone. Including Simon. He would still leave. Maybe it’s cause Makarov is out and you know about it. Losing sleep because there was a mad man on the loose. You sighed and got out of the room with no noise that you could possibly make. Due to being an SAS. Kinda needed those skills.

You went to the kitchen as you pulled out a cup and started making coffee. It was quiet out, both you and Simon agreed to live in England but not too close to the city. Usually it was quiet, maybe a mile from a neighbor, so yeah quiet was always a thing. You watched outside to see if any animals would be wondering around.

You wondered if animals get the same feeling you get. Like a deer waking up feeling something is off before being hunted by predators. Or even a lion feeling the same way by their predators. Maybe they don’t, maybe they lived the innocent lives, not having memories of killing small children or missing their families. Maybe…

“Why ya up?” It made you jump l, breaking your train of thought, and quickly you grabbed a nearby butter knife, turning around to face Simon.

“Fucking hell Simon,” You whispered placing the butter knife back down. “Scared the fuck out of me.” You chuckled turning back to the coffee pot.

Simon chuckled, “Happy I’m no butter,” You rolled your eyes, as he leaned more on the frame, rubbing his eyes. “Didn’t answer my question lovie.”

“Yeah I couldn’t sleep.” You mumbled not really wanting to talk about what was going on.

Simon hummed, you heard the patter of his feet as he grabbed a cup as well. He dug through a cabinet grabbing a tea pot and filling it. “Me neither.” He said, placing it on the stove.

You sighed reaching out for him, placing your hand behind his neck moving it up through his hair and back down. You noticed that his hair was growing out a bit more, thank god he doesn’t completely shave it anymore but he doesn’t usually have it as long as it was. Simon hummed turning around placing his hands on your hips, forehead touching yours. “Wan’ talk about it?” He softly asked.

“No.”

“‘ight.”

“Do you?”

“No.”

This is what you both loved about each other. Not pressuring one another to tell what was going on. The job is hard, definitely not for a faint heart. So you both knew what was wrong, what nightmares you would have. Eventually both of you would open up and say how they felt, sometimes it was weeks or the next day. It took years for Simon to tell you about his past it still takes him a minute to tell you more about it. You told him bits and pieces as well, kind of like an exchange for information. It’s gotten better since then. Talking about things that are hard to with each other.

Simon put his index and thumb on your chin forcing you out of your thoughts. He kissed you firm but lovingly. You pulled away after a couple of kisses and smiled placing a kiss on his cheek. “Alright,” You moved around him to grab the pot of coffee. “We do however have time for a warm bath.”

Simon huffed amusingly. “I’m for that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💀🐈‍⬛~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The screams was the first thing that made you tense up. Then the bodies that hit the floor, armed men walked around the airport killing anyone in sight. Security attempting to stop the attackers to fail. The other part of the screen was a airplane that crashed into a small town.

Ghost told you about about Makarov, how he was a madman. He just wanted the world to burn, doesn’t matter who or what was in the way. The night you all knew about him appearing after Hassan was not a good thing

Chaos was everywhere, the Russian airport reporting that US was the cause of the attack to US blaming Russia for their attack with the plane. Price sat near the screen as Laswell was on it. “This isn’t good,” Gaz mumbled shaking his head. “Has Russia and the US actually talk about this?”

Laswell sighed. “Barely, Russia is still investigating the scene. They did let us know that there was an American that was in the group when the shooting began.”

“We know who?” Soap asked looking at the papers that were handed to us.

Laswell looked down. “Yeah, Joseph Allen.”

Price looked up at her. “Joseph Allen?”

She pulled up a picture replacing the airport and airplane situation. It showed a white male, clean face, black hair. “He was a CIA agent undercover, he was to gain trust with Vladimir. However, they figured it out and staged it to look like it was the US that did the shooting. Allen was…a good man.”

You sighed as you looked down at the papers. This was not good. Two attacks that happened separately, almost damn near at the same time. “Ya think he is trying to get another war goin?” Ghost asked leaning back in the chair with his arms crossed.

“Anything is possible,” Price started. “This could explain Russia involvement with Hassan.”

“Makes sense those symbols and ammunition back at the lighthouse would explain it.” Gaz added looking back Laswell.

“Exactly,” Laswell agreed pulling up Mexico. “That’s why we are going to need a time in Mexico and Urzikstan.”

Price nodded once. “Ghost, Cat, and Soap will meet up with the Los Vaqueros to find Valeria.”

“Find?” You asked.

Price sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately she has escaped the prison. Alejandro is meeting up with some of his men, they might have caught up with her.”

“How did she escape?” Soap asked.

“Unsure, they think however that there was a cartel member disguised as one of the guards,” Laswell started pulling up surveillance. Showing a guard taking out other ones. “Vanqueros are examining it to see if it was one the their men.”

“That won’t be good.” You said watching as he kept taking more down until they reached her cell. “Do we know how Makarov escaped?”

The room went silent for a moment. “That is also something that Russia is looking into.” Laswell replied.

Ghost looked over at you for a moment before nodding once. “We know where he’s at?”

“We are hoping the person that will be joining Price will give that answer.” Laswell briefly explained.

Everyone waited for a moment before Price inhaled. “Alright wheels up in 30.”

[rottencaniness]

// forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters //

— for bastiel, @derailedangel —

rating: teen & up || word count: 1.5k+ || ao3 link

tags: samjess, christmas, swearing, weirdcest, dean coded jess, kissing, Stanford era

It’s their first Christmas together, Sam’s all but shaking with nerves for how the night will go, Jess had to drive down to her parents place for Christmas Eve and is just now getting back to their apartment. They moved in together only a month ago, supposedly way quicker than they should’ve according to Brady, but Sam and Jess both knew it’s what they wanted.

And now, sitting in the apartment that’s freshly decorated to the best of Sam’s ability, hearing the lock jingle open, Sam’s really happy to have the space for just him and Jess. He knows Brady would’ve been making things ten times more chaotic and none of the decorations would’ve been up as neatly as they are now. Sam took his time placing things prettily around the apartment, a small Christmas tree by their couch, garlands draped over their mantle and tops of their cabinets in the kitchen, Christmas lights hung in almost every room, a pine scented candle burning, and Jess’ present wrapped neatly and placed next to the couch.

“Sam? I’m home.” He watches with a smile how the blonde kicks her converse off and drops her duffle bag to the floor— it’s actually Sam’s duffle bag, the same one he moved to Stanford with, the same one with anti-hex bags sewed into the pockets and sigils embroidered onto the bottom— which Jess blissfully ignored and just thanked him for letting her use it for her trip.

“You decorated.” The delighted smile Jess has as she walks over to where Sam is makes his whole chest feel warm.

“Thought it’d be nice for our first Christmas.” She hums along, coming to press a soft kiss to Sam’s lips before turning back to the door to grab something out of the duffle bag. It’s hidden behind her back before Sam can get a good look at it.

“I know we said gifts weren’t necessary since we spent so much money on the apartment, but, I wanted to get you something anyways.” A small box gets handed to Sam once Jess sits beside him on the couch, her eyes briefly flicking to the box wrapped by his feet with a small laugh. They both broke the ‘no gifts’ rule, to no surprise.

Sam pauses looking down at the present, it’s wrapped in newspaper. Just like Dean would when they were growing up— given Jess’ wrapping job is a lot more meticulous and there’s sparkly red twine tied in a bow around the box— so it’s different, but the same. His fingers twitch over the twine, part of him doesn’t want to unwrap it and ruin how nice it is, the other part of him is telling him to unwrap it before he starts to think about Dean too much.

“Sorry, the newspaper is kinda janky but I didn’t have any wrapping paper.” A hand reaches to rub at the back of Jess’ neck as she grimaces before Sam’s shaking his head as fast as he can.

“No, no, it’s beautiful. I um- I actually used to get presents wrapped in newspaper growing up.” Something he thought he left behind in that mildew smelling motel room he walked out of before catching a bus to California, the yells of his name that Dean let out before he left ringing in his head the entire drive, the burn of anger he felt towards John for not supporting him, the ache in his chest when he looked back at Dean one last time— fuck. He left that all behind, he has Jess and Brady, they’re his family now.

“Oh thank god, I was worried you were one of those people that had extravagant Christmas’s growing up.” Sam laughs, he’s shared enough about his family with Jess that she can’t have actually thought that. He told her how he moved around a lot as a kid, sleeping in hotel rooms and in the back of cars, how his brother was his parent for the most part, he never tells her what type of work John did that required them to move so much but Jess never pushes. Ever, on anything, she’s perfect.

“Please I was lucky to get an extra can of Spaghettio’s for Christmas.” And that was a stretch some years.

“Well it’s not canned goods but I hope you like it.” He gets the hint and starts to untie the twine, peeling the paper back to reveal a cardboard box that’s filled with— cassettes. Metallica, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Kansas, and Van Halen. It’s all of Dean’s favorite tapes, Sam’s whole chest goes tight as his mouth falls open only to close without saying a word.

“You’re always humming Metallica and I overheard you talking to Noah about what the best rock band was. Don’t worry I went through all your tapes to make sure you didn’t already have them.” The heated discussion with Noah from psych class about rock bands had been one of the only times Sam consciously took time to think about that genre of music, he hadn’t realized Jess had heard him, or that he’s been- apparently- humming Metallica just like Dean.

“Th-thank you, I don’t know what to say. I haven’t listened to this stuff since getting to Stanford.” He’s purposely avoided that station on the radio and the old playlist still sitting in the files of his laptop.

“Well we should listen to some.” Jess grins and plucks the Metallica tape from the box, walking over to the radio they keep on the mantle and turning the volume almost all the way up.

Her head bobs to the music the second it starts, face scrunching the same way Dean’s does when the guitar gets heavier, green eyes nearly closed and hand coming to play air guitar. God she looks like a girl version of Dean. The loose gray t shirt, the mannerisms, her jeans are worn down on the knees like Dean’s always were, blonde hair shining under the Christmas lights, even the lopsided smile she gives reminds Sam of Dean. His heart beats two times too fast with the thought, quickly grabbing the box he wrapped for Jess and holding it out towards her. Just desperately trying not to think about how his girlfriend is an odd half-clone of his brother.

“You really didn’t have to get me anything.” What the gift he got her hits Sam all at once— it’s a necklace. On a black rope, with a gold pendant. Jesus Christ he’s going to hell for this shit.

“Sam it’s gorgeous!” It’s a simple gold heart locket with a picture of them in it, it’s one Brady took, Jess is laughing while Sam looks at her with an absolute lovestruck expression. It’s his favorite picture of them.

“Let me.” His hands ties the black rope of the necklace around Jessica’s neck from the front, face suddenly blushing red when he realizes how close they are and how beautiful Jess looks like this.

“I love this song.” She says softly, Enter Sandman filling their apartment, Sam’s heart skipping a beat for what feels like the millionth time today.

“You usually listen to Fleetwood Mac, I didn’t know you liked rock.” Jess loops her arms around Sam’s shoulders and settles into his lap, pushing them both farther into the couch.

“Lot you still don’t know about me Sammy.” The thick swallow he does might’ve been audible to Jess— Sam can’t help it, not when Jess has that tone of voice, and that grin, and that look in her eye, and that fucking nickname.

“I love you.” It falls from Sam’s mouth before he can think it over for even half a second.

They’ve never said that to each other before, sure they live together but Jess didn’t have the most loving parents and Sam sure as hell didn’t either so they’ve been taking it slower when it comes to things like pda and words of affirmation. He can’t believe he just said that without any build up, he had planned on saying it over a nice dinner, making it memorable, not sitting in their apartment on Christmas with his brothers music playing and half of Sam’s mind distracted thinking about his brother.

“I love you too.” No hesitation in Jess’s voice and she leans to press a small kiss to Sam’s lips to almost solidify the moment.

“And just so you know, I grew up with this type of rock. My dad and me would sing it in his car before he’d drop me off at my mom’s, she was the Fleetwood Mac fan.” Part of Sam briefly wonders if his mom would be a Fleetwood Mac fan too, maybe he would’ve listened to them before meeting Jess if Mary was still around. It’s a dumb thought, a useless one, he brushes it off as quick as possible. Thinking about his family never leads to anything but him feeling guilty over leaving and missing Dean.

“We should order takeout, for a Christmas feast of course.” Jess’s voice takes Sam from his thoughts and he nods, opening his mouth to reply but-

Before Sam can respond the guitar solo of Enter Sandman starts to play and Jess leans back in his lap to strum her fingers to the music and he can’t suppress his bright laugh. He really does love her, he thinks he wants to marry her. Maybe Dean will show up for the wedding, maybe him and Jess will get close, maybe he can have them both.

[lucigoo]

Weekly Roundup 1st July - 31st July

As we can tell, im way behind, so it will be a monthly round up until I catch up, and then back to weekly. Especally as I plan to do a mish mosh version of Nano, hoping to write 50,000 words, but finishing as many of my current wips as I can (theres a few)

So, July, I uploaded 8 fics with 19,043 words between them. As aways, recs first and then my fics under the cut <3

The Last to Know - kathkin - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) (Bilbo/Thorin, its full of fun homour)

Summary: “I think you ought to know,” said Gandalf, “you have eight or nine dwarves courting you.” / "Now, I think I would have noticed!" In which dwarves have a very particular way of courting, Ori thinks Bilbo has a nice bottom, Thorin is an awkward puppy, and Bilbo learns that sometimes actions speak louder than words.

custodial - PenAndInkPrincess - Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types (Geralt/Jaskier)

Summary: Ciri finds Jaskier first and Geralt only comes along later

Jaskier is not handling co-parenting well

A Future Together - Slayer_of_Destiny - Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types (Geralt/Jaskier)

Summary: When Jaskier ends up at Kaer Morhen for the winter, something unexpected happens when he goes into heat, something that only happens when an Omega is around an Alpha they trust, and somewhere they feel safe. The future after this heat is going to change both Jaskier and Geralt's lives forever.

For Better or For Worse - loflight501 - The Witcher (TV) (Geralt/Jaskier)

Summary: King Geralt wants to end the war with Redania, but the only way to do it is to marry the omega son of his hated foe. Prince Jaskier is thrilled to be free of his abusive father, but isn't optimistic about marrying a king with a brutal reputation.

Chiaroscuro - krabapple - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (Sirius/Remus)

Summary: Remus Lupin returns to Hogwarts as the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor after the Battle of Hogwarts, and finds a year where he and his students struggle with the leftover contrast between light and darkness.

I hope everyone has a wonderful month and my fics are under the cut as promised <3

I have 8 fics for this month uploaded, I hope you all like at least one.

I love you as you are (Sirius/Remus, written for a prompt for the @marauderswithpalestineproject)

Summary: During the war Bella cursed Sirius, now he is a dog hybird. A dog hybrid who hides it from everyone but Remus and Harry in their home.

Now he is stranded in London with no way to get home.

Don't look into my soul if you just want to steal it (Sirius/Remus, Sirius & Regulus)

Summary: Walburga Black wants a perfect heir. Instead she had one ugly child and one willful one.

She will do what she must to make sure neither boy ruins the Black Legacy. No matter the cost to those involved.

Mahal hear my plea. I'm ready for you to take me home with thee! (Gen fic, Dis & Dwalin)

Summary: Dis has survived the Ring War. Her and Dwalin both.

Both are ready to go to the Hall's of Mahal. Both are old and the only one the other has left.

Dis wants to go home to her family. Will Mahal hear her plea?

Fear is a Sickness:Witchers are the cure (Geralt/Jaksier, wirtten for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt - Fear is a sickness)

Summary: Cirliia is safe, Voleth Meir is gone and yet the surviving Witchers still have to send their fallen brothers off.

So much grief, so much pain, but at least these witchers have a bard to sing them farwell.

Flight of Destiny (Female Sirius/Remus, a fic written for my beloved @brandileigh2003 <3)

Summary: Sirius is finally free of her abusive husband. As a widower she has gone on her first muggle holiday. On the way home she meets the love of her life.

Mahal, Why Have you Forsaken Me? (Gen fic, Dis & her giref)

Summary: Dis is packing up the things of her children's that she will take to Erebor with her. Things they will never need again. Things that are all she has left of them.

Maybe one more, baby? (Sirius/Remus, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt - mybe one more)

Summary: Sirius and Remus are watching their son, Teddy Lupin-Black, as he graduates Hogwarts, their family surrounding them as they do so.

I burn with a smile on my face, for you are safe (Jaskier & Cirilla, unrequented Jaskier/Geralt, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial's prompt run fast and far)

Summary: Jaskier found Cirilla first and he will protect her, no matter the cost

[learnandturn]

Hi, I hope you're doing well. I'm writing to you with a heavy heart and an urgent request for help. My family is in a very danger situation due to the ongoing war, and I've launched a GoFundMe campaign to save them. Could you please share my campaign post from my profile? Each share could be a lifeline for my family. 🙏 Feel free to share it in any other social media platform if you would like. Our campaign has been verified ⭐️ by operation olive branch, and is entry number 26 on their spreadsheet. Also with ⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249/(212) on their spreadsheet. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you in advance for all of your support and kindness.

Please help Haya get her family to safety. I started this blog to be a studyblr and am mutuals with a lot of studyblrs. Think of all of the students and their families stuck in Gaza. Their universities are destroyed and their lives are in danger. Haya's family has only reached 81,114 of the 100,000 they need to get to safety. If you are able, please help them reunite with their brother in Belgium.

From Haya's campaign:

Dear Humanity,

I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).

I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.

Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.

The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.

We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.

Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.

Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare

I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.

These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.

This situation breeds a storm of doubts and worries, so we appeal to you to help us leave Gaza and rid ourselves of the anxiety and fear due to allergies.

My father owns an automated food factory that produces a popular dish called "Maf'toul," named "Couscos Al-Sham." He established it in 1996 and distributed its products to all markets in the Gaza Strip, both north and south. Recently, he was seeking to export his product outside the Gaza Strip. However, when the war came, his factory was completely destroyed, ceased operation, and my father's income became zero.

Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future

My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.

Since the beginning of the war on October 7, 2023, our lives have come to a complete halt. There's no work, no workplace, not even electricity or communication. Our workplace was destroyed, and the entire infrastructure in our area was crippled, leading to the loss of all our projects and sources of income. Thus, my family and I have become without any means of livelihood.

As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.

Despite this, she continues to dream, working diligently to rebuild Gaza, to achieve her vision of a city full of life and beauty. Her story remains a story of resilience and hope, carrying within it a strong determination to succeed despite all challenges.

When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.

We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.

As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.

Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.

Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.

I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.

Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.

The purpose of the fundraising campaign

The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.

Breakdown of Expenses

• Passport fees: €135 per person (a total of €945 for seven family members)

• Rafah/Egypt crossing: €5000 per person (a total of €35,000 for seven family members)

• Minimum living costs: €1,700 per month (a total of €10,200 for six months)

Thank you for your kindness and support.

.جزاكم الله خيراً

yours sincerely;

Haya Alshawish.

[writteninthesewalls28]

Family

A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth

A/n: Fourth chapter is here!

Warnings: none

Milly’s POV:

I stood there, for at least 5 minutes.

"Someone home?" My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I was scared it could eventually pound out of my body. However, I sometime started wandering around the house. Taking one step after another I looked into every single corner, taking everything in. I always had a good ability to remember random things, but I already knew, I will remember the look of this little nondescript house in the most likely darkest neighborhood in Adelaide for forever and never forget anything about its appearance. I thought the house was completely empty because every room I went through had absolutely no furniture, no drawings, no feeling of a family, of a home.

But then I entered a little room.

It wasn’t that different to the other 5 rooms I went through before, but I wouldn’t be Milly, if I didn’t notice the difference immediately.

My eyes directly swung to the 4 small pictures on the left wall. As I stepped a little closer, I could see what it was exactly. Ultrasound images.

I slowly walked over to the corner and stopped to tear one of the photos off and took a close look at it. You could definitely recognize the outline of a growing baby.

Is that me? Or do I have a sibling? The thought never went through my mind before. What if I have a sister or brother? With my huge family at home, I always thought, my biological parents definitely don’t have any other kids, but what if my thought was wrong the whole time? What if they did have other children before they gave me away?

Turning the photo in my hand around, gave me the answers to my silent questions.

Someone wrote something on there, and the text made my heart go crazy, I breathed uncontrollably.

"Welcome little Milly (10/20/1993)" Was the short but definitely meaningful text on the back. My eyes started to fill with tears. That was the proof, the proof I always hoped for, I would find someday. They loved me. They truly loved me.

Relieve and happiness flooded through my veins. The house may be empty, but their spirit still lives in here, it isn’t gone completely. I could feel it through these few pictures hanging on this wall. But why did they left the photos here when they decided to move away? Did they not care enough to take them with them?

A sudden mood change followed after the high of happiness. It changed to a slight confusion mixed up with an upcoming sadness. Yes, I indeed found a proof of my loving parents, who seem to care enough about me, to write something like that on the back of an ultrasound image, but it was bittersweet. They left them. Here, in the abandoned house in the abandoned neighborhood, as if they wanted to leave me behind too. To never even think about me again, the child they gave away. And that hurt.

Minutes later I sat in front of the house on the doorstep, looking at the 4 photos, still shocked and not able to handle the information I got today. Tears were streaming over my face and they didn’t seem to stop. I must’ve looked like a zombie with my mascara ruined and the eyes completely red from the crying. All I asked for, were answers, answers to the questions I kept in my mind for nearly 15 years now. And what did I get? Reasons, to ask even more questions. Why are they not living here anymore? Why are these ultrasound images on the wall? Why did they leave them in there? Why did they leave me? My last hope to finally get a few answers, were neighbors who eventually come home today and could maybe give me answers. So all I could do was wait. And get lost in my thoughts.

Calum’s POV:

He didn’t really focus on the admittedly romantic movie he put on the TV. His thoughts just couldn’t let go of Milly. He wondered what she was doing right now and what took her so long to get here. He wanted her here on the couch, sitting next to him, so he could wrap his arms around her tightly and tell her she can tell him everything, he won’t get angry at her. Never. But instead, he sat on the big sofa alone, not really knowing what exactly was happening as the cute couple on the screen finally kissed. Before he could press the 'replay' button on the remote, to rewatch this important scene, he got interrupted by his phone. The standard apple ringtone filled the living room with noise. Calum got his phone out of his pocket in his pants and saw Louis' caller ID. Trying not to panic too much, since this call could be about the fact that might’ve something happened to Milly, he answered the call.

"Hi Cal!" He heard a kind of anxious version of Milly’s bother’s voice at the other end.

"Hey Mate! Are you okay? You don’t sound so good…" He responded.

"Where’s Milly? And if you say, that she hasn’t talked to you, I swear I'll fly to Australia and-"

"Louis, I'm sorry, but I tried calling her about a hundred times now, she only said, she’s going to the Youth Welfare Office here in Adelaide. I have absolutely no idea when she’s gonna return." Calum tried calming down Louis on the phone.

He heard how he took deep breaths.

"If anything, do you hear me? If anything happens to her, I'm blaming it on you alright?" He sounded really angry, he's never seen him like that. "You should’ve tried stopping her from even starting to search for them, it’s only gonna hurt her." Louis continued without even giving Calum the chance to say something to that.

"Louis, I-" he tried calming him, but it didn’t work. He didn’t even notice him.

"It’s all your fault, I can’t reach out to her!" The man said. In the exact moment where Calum wanted to say something, he heard a loud crack and the telephone was taken away from Louis.

Louis' POV:

(Flackback to the time where Milly called him)

He hung up the phone and stared at it in disbelief. As nice as he was to his sister when she told him about wanting to find her parents, he was very worried. Worried, she’s not gonna be able to live with the truth. He was the oldest, he was supposed to protect them, he promised mum. He already lost Fiz, wasn’t able to protect her. He HAD to do better with Milly, he just had to. He covered his face in his hands and thought about all the different scenarios that could possibly happen when she searches for them. One worse than the other. Exactly at this moment, Louis husband Harry entered the music room, where all their guitars stood, in which Louis sat. "Oh, hey Lou…" He knew something was wrong, he always knew. Harry sat down next to him on the giant dark blue sofa and put an arm around his small waist.

"Okay, I assume something is going on with one of the sister and because you only react with being alone and staying silent when it’s about Milly, so I bet something is going wrong down there in Adelaide." He was still amazed by the way Harry could read him. No one will ever beat him in that. But Louis wasn’t ready to tell him yet, he first had to deal with it alone, Harry will understand that, he always did. But when will he be ready to talk about it?

Calum’s POV:

"Hey Cal.."

"Harry! Nice to hear your voice again!" Even though 5sos went on tour together with 1D back in 2013, they weren’t that close anymore. Only Niall sometimes visits them whenever he doesn’t have something to do.

"Listen, Lou is just kinda going crazy about this whole Milly-wants-to-find-her-parents thing, so when he saw her message this morning, he was extremely worried. When she didn’t answer as he was calling her, he just simply freaked out. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I promise he didn’t mean any of the things he said" Talking to Harry always had something therapeutic, but this talk made Calum forget, he even had that conversation with Louis three minutes ago.

"Don’t worry. I get it, I'm very worried as well because it has been about 7 hours now without hearing anything from her and I have literally no idea where she could possibly be." He said, hoping he chose the right words to show Louis he cared about her just as much as he did. And that he was as worried as he was.

"Can you call Louis when she comes back? I'd guess, he wants to talk to her as soon as she’s with you again." Right when he wanted to respond, he heard someone unlocking the front door and opening it just seconds later. Only Milly can unlock doors this quick. It was a secret superpower of hers he noticed after 2 weeks of dating her as she broke into his dressing room 5 minutes before their London show.

"If you just stay on the phone for about 10 seconds, I guarantee you, he can talk to her." He said, eyes only located on the opening door.

[listening-to-free-audiobooks]

Honor and Redemption

Six years after a tragedy upended their lives, dashing Patrick returns to win back Eloise’s heart. But her mother’s secrets might push them apart forever… A tender story of family, hope, and love.

Available to purchase on Amazon mybook.to/honor-and-redemption

A childhood love longing to make amends. A daughter fighting to break free. A mother struggling to protect her. Tormented by the past, can they build a better future?

Six years ago, tragedy tore Eloise and Patrick apart. Shouldering the burden of his brother’s death, he spent years drinking himself into oblivion. Now freed from that darkness, Patrick Lennox returns to reclaim the heart of the young lady he left behind.

Can she forgive the man who abandoned her without a word?

Eloise Andrews has enough troubles in her life without Patrick stirring things up. Her mother is a heartless beast who controls every aspect of her life, and Eloise is determined to break free of her—even if it means destroying the perfect reputation her mother is desperate to save.

But not all wounds can be seen, and perhaps something more lurks beneath her mother’s frosty demeanor…

Years of torment taught Emmeline Andrews to shield her heart behind a sterling reputation, and she will do everything she can to ensure her children are protected against society’s cruelty. But with her daughter determined to ruin herself and Emmeline’s own marriage crumbling to pieces, she has to decide whether or not that precious reputation is a shield or a jail.

Jumping between two generations, Honor and Redemption is a story about how our mistakes can shape our world and how the bond between mother and daughter, friends and sweethearts can break when we are afraid to open our hearts.

All of M.A. Nichols’ romances take place in the Generations of Love universe. Each book is a standalone story and can be read in any order with the titles being grouped together into family sagas. The first in this series features the parents with the subsequent books following the next generations as their children find love of their own.

New books will be posted regularly. Click subscribe to be notified when the latest audiobooks are uploaded.

To see the series family trees & timelines, visit https://www.ma-nichols.com/generation…

Join the M.A. Nichols VIP Reader Club at www.ma-nichols.com to receive up-to-date information, freebies, and VIP content!

Narrated by Madeleine Brolly

[z4nstories]

Sun on Beach☀️🌊

16 years ago, I was 8 years old. My brother Santos would have been 32 now, double his age back then and I suppose if he was here right now, he would have shown a smile of contentment, seeing my life right now. Happy for my peace but sorry too. So deeply sorry for the loss he probably thought he incurred on us. It wasn’t his fault though. War really has no victors especially when you’re conscripted at 16 - but I still think he should have fought to stay out of it. He missed out. Our family could have been alone on a distant shore in the east, where the sun rose in the sea and set again, inland - had he not gone out to war. Such a heavenly place I have found, away from that war. I wish, so deeply, that they could be here with me now. But they all died 16 years ago, alongside the ones already on their deathbeds, wrinkled and silver haired as well as the little ones atop their mothers chests on a hospital bed. All in a great war.

I find it funny that in the years preceding the war, we were at the peak of our civilization. Well we believed we were - and I do not think at the time, I could have imagined a world greater than that one we inhabited. All the fantasies of a past world were real, very real so much that on one Christmas day, we gave our veteran grandfather that car he wanted so dearly in his youth, except it could fly. There was no concept of an economy, no rich or poor. Just peace.

We never thought it’d come to this. Behind the sea, a few miles behind the sandy shores I sit on, there is nothing. It is as though since the outbreak 16 years ago, it persisted in remaining a battlefield. First it was a battlefield for humanity, then nature against our sins and faults. Plants don’t grow inland and birds fall from the sky if they get too close, like that one Greek story of Icarus, the boy who flew too close to the sun. But the birds were born to fly; it was us who flew too close to the sun and they had to pay for it.

As a child, my parents sacrificed their lives to save my siblings. Our eldest brother Santos was at war but the rest of us fought the world to survive. When we were hungry we found only the rotting corpses of deers, cattle and rats in the scorched fields. If we were thirsty, we met a great vast ocean and rejoiced as if victorious against a great opposition but when the first of us fell after drinking from it, we looked closely and found it was green and red in pollution and bloodshed. And it flowed on for miles. When night fell one day, one of my brothers, aged 14, took a knife to my sister’s throat then to his and by the time we arrived to intervene, it was just red and we hated him for it, but the two dead on the floor were smiling and shedding blood stained tears from their eyes. I suppose he was the smart one out of us, because soon enough, we had fled so far from ‘civilization’ that the only ones left were us. And well - we had to survive didn’t we? 

In the end I lived. I believe I am the last survivor of not just my family but our species and part of me feels as though that would be quite ideal for me. I don’t think I alone could keep them from ruining this place. These golden shores turn silvery at night and are forever soft and comforting like a mother’s embrace. The ocean isn’t green anymore and there is nobody left to paint it red, which means that the fish have come once again to the shoreline and are visible through the clear water that rolls back and forth like the unravelling of a golden scroll at day and a silver one at night. When it is time to start the day, the sun greets me from the other side of the ocean; so warm and bright a greeting I had never been offered before these days. 

These days are better than our futuristic civilization. I think my family would have agreed. I think humanity would have too.

Insta won't let me post this whole pic 😭

[bludhavents]

things that each greaser struggles with:

these are mostly headcanons i came up with. also, this gets pretty angsty.

content warning: alcoholism, addiction, anxiety.

darry:

- maturity. he thinks everybody looks at him like the “dad” of the group instead of just another friend, and he loathes it. he misses whenever he was able to skip work to catch a movie at the drive-in or take ponyboy and sodapop up to the dingo for lunch.

- accidental intimidation. his build is very large and strong, which is good for his job and for when he’s actually trying to, well, intimidate people, but other than that it just makes him feel guilty for being so unapproachable.

- relationships. specifically, darry is very insecure in his relationship with pony. he especially hates it whenever pony dogs on him for forgetting things or accusing him of not caring.

- emotional intelligence. he knows he comes across as cold. and he hates it. he has lots of emotions and he doesn’t air them out in a healthy way, so he tries his best to cut all the emotions off altogether in hopes that the negativity will stop, but it just makes him feel even more insecure.

- social skills. in high school, it was all much easier for him, but now that he’s working full-time and running the household, he’s fallen majorly behind in the social scene. he never goes out to the drive-in or to the dingo, and at first it was because he was too busy, but now, even if he doesn’t have a shift, he’ll make up some excuse because he’s too nervous to go and have to talk to people again since he feels like he’s gonna mess up.

- identity. darry was just starting to feel comfortable in himself and in his role in the world right before his parents died, and when they did, he stopped trying to figure out what made him happy. it has made him insecure of the emotional stint that is centered around his ego and sense of self.

sodapop:

- smarts. it’s canon that he’s insecure about this.

- growing up. while everybody else moves on to new things and grows up, he feels like he’s stuck in the same place watching everybody else progress while he stays behind. this was especially true after sandy left, because marrying her was going to be this huge exciting step in his life and when she left, he didn’t have that fulfillment anymore.

- reassurance. he feels a constant need for approval, and he will take it wherever he can get it. there’s a sort of pride he gets whenever he sees a girl checking him out, but there’s a deeper feeling telling him that she’s gonna run away once she finds out about how ‘stupid’ he is.

- authority. soda has a really hard time talking to people who are in a position of power. he gets all nervous and his hands get sweaty and his face goes sheet white in panic. his charm and social skill is enough to satisfy a conversation with a person his age, but he feels silly trying to be confident in front of an adult. he feels like they look down on him and will laugh.

- fatherhood. he’s very insecure about having a family in the future. he feels like he never appreciated his dad’s skilled parenting while he could, and since then darry has been a sort of fatherly figure in the house, but it’s hard for soda to see it that way. he grew up for 16 years with darry as a big brother and for him to suddenly be forced into a father role is troubling for soda. because of this complicated dynamic between soda and fatherhood, he feels like he won’t be able to be the best father possible for his children.

- legs. he hates his legs. you will never see soda in a pair of shorts, not even when he’s swimming. he doesn’t like the way they’re shaped and thinks that they make the rest of his body look odd, so he wears loose jeans to hide them. he’s also embarrassed of being embarrassed about them, so nobody knows, not even steve.

dallas:

- emotional intelligence. his lack of emotional intelligence is something he battles with a lot. he understands what people are feeling, but he has a hard time understanding why they feel that way. he says it’s because he’s too tuff to deal with emotions, but deep down he knows it’s because he was thrust into a traumatic childhood so early on that he never had time to build emotional bonds with people that would strengthen his empathy and understanding.

- his past, another canon take. he hates talking about it, even the good stuff, because when he thinks about new york all he can picture is 10 year old dallas watching a man being covered in a white sheet by the paramedics on the side of the road. he thinks about his friends from there and knows they’re all either locked up or dead, and it ruins any enjoyment he gets from reminiscing on the good times.

- health. he definitely has crohn’s or IBS or something else that makes his stomach hurt whenever he eats, and it embarrasses him to no end. he’s always anxious that his stomach is going to start hurting when he’s with the gang and is going to have to find some excuse to leave. he smokes so much while he’s out with them to keep from getting hungry until he gets back to buck’s place.

- his friendships. the shepherd gang is close-knit. then, the curtis’ are brothers, steve has known them forever, and two-bit is outgoing enough to make himself fit in to the group. johnny is the closest person dallas relates to, and it’s the friendship hes the most secure in.

- his smile. he knows smoking ruins his teeth, and he knows they’re crooked all over, and he knows that when he smiles his lips crack and stretch out.

johnny:

- his appearance, canon insecurity. he looks young for his age, and when the gang found him in the lot after he was beaten by Socs, they all started treating him like he was young too. he didn’t think the scar on his face was tuff, it just reminded him of being attacked.

- his voice. this is less about how it sounds and more about him not being able to speak over the shouting at home. he hates yelling, and he won’t stand in to speak up for him cause he’s too afraid of being told to “stop yelling”.

- being average. johnny feels painfully average in everything he does. he’s tried to find a skill that he truly loves and wants to take time to be good at, but he always gets frustrated and quits before he can improve.

- romance. almost every aspect of it terrifies johnny. he doesn’t know what a healthy marriage looks like, what he does know was from Mr and Mrs Curtis, but seeing them die together warped his sense of love. he doesn’t understand why you would want to love somebody so much if you didn’t have to. he doesn’t like the “til death do us part” aspect of marriage, because it makes him feel trapped. he’s not afraid of commitment, he’s afraid that he will end up in a marriage like his parents’ and not be able to leave.

two-bit:

- alcoholism. he’s an alcoholic and he knows it, but he’s been stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction for such a long time that the only way he knows how to cope with the emotional baggage of addiction is to drink more.

- social awareness. as of now, he’s very self-aware and extremely skilled in reading a room, but he didn’t used to be. he used to crack jokes at the wrong time and get scolded for it, and it made him feel horrible. like he wasn’t able to experience all the same sad feelings as everybody else because they reacted differently to the sadness than he did. they wanted to process the sadness while he wanted to ignore it.

- being absent at home. he knows he spends the majority of time at the curtis house, and he also knows that his mother spends the majority of her time at work, which leaves his little sister at home alone. he has a good relationship with her, but he doesn’t like for her to see him drunk, and as his alcoholism progresses, that gets to be more and more often. he knows this, and it’s one of the main reasons he’s so insecure about his addiction, because she’s the one who let him know that it wasn’t a one-way street. his problem affected him and her.

- commitment. two-bit is young, but he feels old enough to know how relationships work. he saw his dad walk out on them, and he was never able to process how you could go from marrying someone to leaving and never looking back. at first, he thought that his dad was just a selfish jerk, but when he met johnny and saw that his parents were also married and simultaneously abusive, he convinced himself that all marriages were bound to end up that way. he believes that if the curtis’ lived longer, they would have eventually gotten bitter and tired of each other, because in his mind, that’s just what couples do.

ponyboy:

- confidence. he has a lot of insecurities, and they’re shared pretty evenly between physical and non physical. he doesn’t like his body or his eyes. he doesn’t like how impulsive and dramatic he is.

- security. not in himself, but in life. he’s permanently on edge, feeling anxious about who’s going to be around the corner and what would happen if he got jumped and how many Socs he’d be able to fight off in case anything happened. his parents’ sudden deaths did not help this. he feels like life is constantly tossing him around, and he never feels completely safe.

- emotional outbursts. this isn’t exclusive to ponyboy, but he struggles with it the most. he hates getting upset with people, and he hates hurting other people’s feelings. when he’s feeling too many things, he starts to speak without a filter and gets mad at the littlest things, and he knows that it makes everybody around him feel bad.

- fitting in. in contrast to johnny’s insecurity, ponyboy wants nothing more than to fit in. he’s tired of being the only greaser in his classes, he’s tired of his isolated taste in movies and theatre, he’s tired of being a track star, and he’s tired of all the pressure put on him since he isn’t average.

steve

- masculinity. his dad always enforces an unrealistic standard of being strong, independent, and logical. steve is inherently all of these things, but the pressure he feels to keep it up weighs him down.

- comparing himself to others. it started in middle school when he noticed all of the people liked sodapop more. from then on he couldn’t help but feel like soda was more attractive and charming, darry was stronger and smarter, two-bit was funnier and cooler, dallas was tougher and unbothered, johnny was more likeable and down-to-earth, and ponyboy was more creative and well spoken.

- addiction. there was a time in steve’s life where he was getting high every day. at first it was fun, but then he had to quit track because he wasn’t as athletic as he used to be. it ruined his health and motivation. he started working on cars more to keep himself busy, and it helped a lot, even got him a job.

- hyperindependence. steve’s biggest character flaw is that he can’t ask for help. whether it’s asking for help in school or asking for soda to hand him a tool in the garage, steve can’t bring himself to do ask. it makes him feel like he’s not good enough to do it on his own.

[aglaxy]

♡Yandere manhwa characters,

Headcanons♡ [Part 2]

Tw:Unhealthy relationships,obsessive themes,

Yandere,violence,blood,mentions of murder,

Manipulation,stockholm syndrome

Characters:Medea solon,cayena hill,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Medea solon

•Medea is a very possesive and manipulative

Yandere who is also quite controlling.

•You and her first met when you're parents

Arrenged an alliance with her father,you met

Her as a smart and shy child who is very skilled

In swordmanship.

•Medea slowly gained a cute crush on you,the

More time you visit her and hang out with her.

And everyone notices it,making everyone tease

Her.

•Her nanny immediately liked you since you

Were the first person to ever make medea smile

Very brightly due to you're sweet nature.

•She admired you're dreams and hobbies,and of

Course you're whole being.you truly were the one

To be so kind to her besides her nanny and helio.

Her brother also liked you,since you are his

Little sister's friend and you even able to make

Her smile more in the mansion when you visit.

•Though,it can not say the same with helio as

He is envious of you.he sees you as someone

Naive and useless....so what did medea even saw

In you?he really envied you for getting medea's

Love and affection.

•As you two grew up,medea grew to gain even

Bigger feelings for you,her crush turned into

Hard love,into obsession.medea always make

Sure she was with you,making sure you ate and

Healthy,making sure you give you're attention

To her than anyone else.

•Medea also seemed not to mind you're

Kind and energetic nature as you always turn to

Make her fall for that smile like always.but

Of course,some nobles are going to insult and

Talk shit about you behind making medea beat

There asses very violently,she threatened them

In the most terrifying way to never try to insult

Her gorgeous dove.

•Yes,that is what she sees in you.a graceful but

Energetic dove who had the wings of freedom on

Their side,she always had this deep red blush

On her pale cheeks as she looked at you from

Afar not really listening to what the other

Astirocats are talking about at all.

•When it was the time you two met psyche,she

Almost viewed her as a rival if it weren't for her

Noticing the blonde girl always stalking her.you

Quickly warm up to the girl making psyche

Warm up to you as well.medea is chill about it,

But does get jealous when the two of you hang

Out while she trains and work hard for you to

Give her praise and time.

•She will give you a soft smile when you do

Praise her for the hardmanship she put herself

To,and she blushed hard when you admit on that

Was one of the reasons why you like her.

•Since you and her knew each other for a long

Time just as helio,so medea knows you for a

Life time and knows everything you like or

Dislike.it was weither her asking questions or her

Stalking very stealthily.

•Medea also knew about helio's feelings for her

But doesn't give a single damn since she had

Feelings for you instead leaving him heartbroken.

•You and her were the greatest friends anyone

Could ever ask for....but of course,good things

Won't last longer.you're family were turned into

Commoners making you and you're family a

Fallen noble all caused by her father,when she

Learned this,she was more than enraged.she

Wanted to make her father pay for making you

Left her,you were supposed to be with her

Forever!just like wife and husband/wife....but

Now it is all broken dreams because of her

Damned father for ruining everything!

•When she heard her father arranged her in

Marriage with the crown prince,she was angry at

First until she realized that this might be the time

Where she can finally overpowered her father,

And the perfect oppurtunity for you to bring

Back you're title.

•But of course,it all turned to shambles because

Of one bastard of a crown prince as he chooses

Psyche instead.returning home,she saw her

Beloved nanny dying by the hands of her father,

Her brother now leaving her.she couldn't take

It anymore.she needed at least someone she

Loved in her life,you.

•She truly needed you.please,comfort her,

Embrace her in you're arms,even a letter will

Make her pain go away for a little.

•Medea will be so happy when you did try to

Comfort to the best of you're abilities.she is so

Glad that she still had a person who cared and

Loved her.

"My dove...are you an angel?heh,who am i

Kidding?of course you are."

•This made her realize,she needed to make her

Moves fast.what if eros finds out you are her last

Weakness and will get rid of you? ....no.no,she

Won't allow it.there will be no fucking way that

She'll let you die by the hands of him.never.so,

This makes her force herself to work even harder

And it was the time where she and psyche

Switched bodies.

•Although,it was nice that she finally can get

Her revenge and you finally able to get back

You're honour.she hated,no...loathed the way you

Smile at psyche(who is in her body)it was the

Thing she despises since you are not techincally

Looking at her.instead,it was psyche.was she

Planning to steal from her again?

•That what has medea in mind but the truth was

Pscyhe thought that if you got to partcipate the

Ball,it might make you happy like old times when

You were still a noble.and not noticing the way,

Medea glare at her hatredly,she just continued

Being sweet to you while medea silently shakes

In rage and jealousy.

•After where medea and psyche make up,met

Perion,had a little agruement with helio and

Finally able to know that eros had feelings for

Her,medea knows she can win this little war of

Game.she manipulates eros to getting you back

The title of nobility,and tricked him into actually

Agreeing to his proposal.

•But,eros disappointed her when he told her,he

Will give you back that title when the marriage

Between him andd her are over.this,of course,

Enrages the future duchess solon but had no

Choice to make,she agreed.(as much as she

Hated it)

•After medea kills her father,she offered you to

Go to her mansion.once you got there,she

Asked you to be her assistant in order to save

Money for you're desperate parents searching

For a good job to help themselves,especially you.

Since,you don't want you're parents to suffer

Anymore,you took the job making her grin in joy.

•Medea never go hard on you,she gave you the

Smallest and easiest tasks,she lets you eat some

Of her food and always spoil you as well.this,

Gradtually made some servants jealous of you

But none had the guts to slander you as they

Never want to face the terrifying wrath of the

Duchess who can kill them in a second.

•As more time passes,medea grew and grew

Even more possesive of you.no one now ever

Talks to you anymore because of the memory

Of medea who intimidates and threatened them

If they even dared to talk to her dove,so as

Expected,every one of them kept silent as they

Still did want to live afterall.

•Remember when her relatives now slept in

Her house and saw you?well,one made a grave

Mistake on flirting with you.a noble male even

Had the nerves of trying to touch you making

You incredibly uncomfortable.medea got that

Information when you told her that,the noble

Never tries to look at you nor touch you ever

Again.since he had payed the price of losing his

A hand by the very wrath of the duchess.

•Everyone seems to even got more terrified,so

No one even looks at you now making medea

Feel joyful since they were able to learn that you

Belonged to her.and her only.none deserved to

Look at you're gorgeous figure as she can only

Take care of you right.

•Now,if you ever ask her on to why is no one

Ever talk to you anymore.she'll brush it off at

First,but if you keep answering her then she'll

Just had to make you stop.medea will trick you

Onto believing that none of the mansion ever

Talks because of there jealousy of you.they

Were so jealous of you being the duchess

Favorite,that they never talk to you out of spite.

•She carressed you're cheek,as she'll just

Smooth talk her way out of the question making

You forget on why did you even ask her that.

•But....you began to notice her very posessive

Acts,if you ever confront her about it,she'll

Think of it as it isn't a big deal but if you ever

Try to raise you're voice at her,then it is time for

You to see her ever true colors.

•She slapped you,hard.so hard,that it made

You bleed in the mouth ever so slightly.don't

Forgot that she was the one who ever taught

Helio he needs to know in this world,she'll look

At you with slightly angered eyes as she grabbed

You're wrist and drag you to her room.

•As you two got in,medea will punish you very

Harshly.she will grab a whip,and ordered you to

Stretch you're arms to her and when you did as

You are told out of fear,she whipped you're

Hand several times and it didn't took an effort to

Make you're hands red and bruised.

•Of course,she'll take care of you afterwards

Since she doesn't want her dove to be so hurt

Because of her.

•Now,expect to be punished severly if you ever

Think twice to yell at her again.either her

Breaking a bone or two,or her forcing you to

Be on you're knees until it's bleeding,or her

Starving you,or her slightly burning you're hands.

It was all for you to learn you're mistakes,don't

Blame her,besides....who was giving you money

To provide you're parents a good life?her.

•Medea will always use you're parents against

You and it always works.she smirked at the

Submussive face you gave her,the first time she

Mentioned you're parents.this gave her a sense

Of power than ever.and she could never be

Happy when you're parents thought she was

Treating you......."right".

•Now,you are a real dove in a cage.medea's

Pure and gorgeous dove,that will always be her

Possesion and love.nothing can take away her

Dove.nothing.

"There,there my dove....yes,i know this is very

Painful but,don't think of leaving.did you

Forget about you're parents?that's right.if you

Behave,they won't starve anymore,that's what

You want,yes?"

Cayena hill

•This princess is also a manipulative and

Obsessive but soft yandere.

•Cayena first met you as rezef's maid,when he

Was still in control of the lady in waitings,she

Never thought she could fall inlove in first sight

But here she was.

•She was incredibly confused to why she was

Feeling like this in the first place,she just met

You now so why is her heart beating so loudly?

•Cayena will continue to observe you if she

Had the chance.she saw how obedient and

Polite you are.such a clever thing,yet you're here

Just to serve her brother?not any longer.

•Cayena would definetely manipulate rezef into

Giving you to her,telling that you might be a

More valuable asset to her to make him the

Emperor.and since he's such a greedy little shit

For both the throne and for his sister's love,he

Gave you to her willingly.

•When you first met her,you saw just how

Gorgeous she is.her beauty was ethereal,you

Heard the rumours but goddamn,she was

Making you're eyes burn due to her beauty.

Anyways,you expected her to act bratty and to

Be a foolish princess but that didn't came as she

Acted elegant and graceful,something only a

True princess would act.

•Suprised as you are,you didn't waste anytime

To ask her what will be you're duties to serve her.

She smirked and told you that you will become

Her new lady in waiting,which isn't a suprise to

You but what did,was how soft and gentle she

Was to you.

•Elegant gestures,authoritive way of talking,

She really is different from the old princess you

Know of.

•Cayena really did want for you to see her as a

Princess you wanted to work with,a gentle

Lady who is capable of solving any problems.

That's what she succeeds in,and you believe

It as well since you can truly see her being the

Perfect empress for the empire.

•After months of working for her,also

Meeting olivia,vera and the other ladies in

Waitings,cayena grew absoloutely more and

More obsessive of you making her only letting

You work beside her only.this also results on

Julia,being jealous causing tantrums whenever

She saw you as the favorite lady in waiting.

•Which is kinda true,since everyone can see how

Fond the princess act towards you but that was

Not a excuse for the girl looking at you with

Very hateful eyes whenever she sees you.

•Rezef also is quite hateful towards you as you

Manage to make his lovely sister to be so soft

With you.it made him sick.it should be only him

That cayena should even act like that.but seems

Like fate wasn't on his side since cayena can

Now only think and talk highly of you,not him.

Not anymore.

•So that made him enrage but not wanting to

Be on his sister's bad side,he kept his emotions

In check.raphael doesn't hate you,but it is quite

Hurtful for him to see you and cayena together

Smiling and chatting oh so happily.he does not

Want to lose her,but anything to keep her happy.

So,the duke lets her go.

•Now,time skip when cayena meets ethel

Lindberg,who she claims to be her half sibling.

She got kidnapped and you were the one who

Barged into the prince's chambers as he read a

Book.yes,after a long time working with the

Princess you get attached to her.who wouldn't?

She was a kind and gentle princess,that you can't

Help but fall into her charms of grace.

•You kneeled and begged for the prince to go

And find her highness,he lifted you're chin and

You can see how angry he was.danger was

Written all over his being as he shuddered in

Rage when he heard you said that his beloved

Sister was kidnapped.

•To let out his anger,he stabbed and snapped the

Few of the people in his chambers while you

Tremble in his presence.you couldn't understand

How you used to work for him,sure you knew of

His very violent behavior but you didn't know

That it could get this far when his sister is

Involved.when he did head over to save his

Sister,you felt yourself breath again,you just

Hoped that cayena was safe.

•And speaking of the princess,she was not

Only worrying about herself,she was also

Worried about you.since she fell unconsious

A lot earlier,she can only think of you're safety.

She truly hoped that you aren't hurt,she begged

Herself for her not to think you aren't harmed

But she can't help but worry for you.

•She then got saved by the duke,and she

Thanked him quickly not after asking if you are

Alright.he answers her that yes,you are fine and

Not a single scratch was on you're body.she lets

Out a breath of relief,that is truly a relief.

•When cayena was brought back to the palace,

That is how everything were placed into danger

As she grew to be more visible on showing her

Affections towards you.people just thought that

The princess was only being kind,but you can

See how she loves to spoil you.

•It is always her routine to spoil you.indeed,ever

Since you worked for her it became a routine

That she loved,even if you get overwhelmed by

It,she still manages to spoil you with headpats.

•So,uh,remember her crazy ex husband?yeah...

When he learned about you,he was disgusted

That the princess was giving affection to a

Rat like you.he thought that you seduced the

Princess and when cayena visited him in his cell.

He explained to her that he could be a better

Lover than you could ever will be.

•This...just made the princess shoot him in the

Leg,making him scream in agony and pain.

"You dare speak such words to my beloved.?

Scum such as you,deserve nothing but death."

•And she did bring him death,she shot him

Multiple times,but of course the cell was empty

Because of her seducing the guards to get out

So she can talk to gillian alone.

•She knew it would be a great idea to steal

Rezef's gun,it was a perfect oppurtunity for him

To take the blame for her.when morning comes,

She'll put on a face and everyone will believe her.

Of course,anyone will believe her.she was the

One who got kidnapped,so of course it

Wouldn't be her.and no one will even suspect

That it's her.

•At this point,cayena managed to make you her

Lover and she absouloutely showered you with

Lots and lots of love and hugs and kisses.

•She's just so soft to you that no matter what

You do,she'll always take you're side.ALWAYS.

•Of course,cayena can see that you are starting

To act up to her but she'll just pat you're head

And soothe you with sweet words.if that doesn't

Work,then she can gently whisper to you're ear

That you're parents can always be on the line.

She's the princess of this empire,and you are

Her lover.enemies will be using you're loved ones

As hostages and they might even torture them.

Only SHE can save them as she is the princess.

•Cayena's punishments aren't bad,she will

Only scold you harshly like a child being

Disciplined by there mother.after that,she'll

Give you some kisses on the forehead and will

Assure you that she's just a little mad at you.

•Cayena might also try and make you're loved

Ones use you as a tool of power.so that the only

Person you can only love and depend on is her.

And this will just make her obsession for you

Grown than it could ever will be.

•This will also just result in you loving her back,

As she is the one who gave you the affection

No one could ever give you.she is so happy that

Her beloved loves her back,you are her beloved.

Hers and hers alone.

"My beloved...you always look so precious!

Oh,i love you so much.my,did i spoil you

Rotten again?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[cielrouge]

YA SFF Books by Black Authors 

A Song Below Water by Bethany C. Morrow: About the strength of black sisterhood set in Portland, OR, best friends Tavi and Effie discover their true supernatural identity when Effie starts being haunted by demons from her past, and Tavia accidentally lets out her magical siren voice during a police stop.

A Chorus Rises (A Song Below Water #2) by Bethany C. Morrow: Teen influencer Naema Bradshaw is an Eloko, a person who’s gifted with a song that woos anyone who hears it. Everyone loves her — well, until she's cast as the awful person who exposed Tavia’s secret siren powers. When a new, flourishing segment of Naema’s online supporters start targeting black girls, however, Naema must discover the true purpose of her magical voice.

A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown: Inspired by West African folklore in which a grieving crown princess, Karina, and a desperate refugee, Malik, find themselves on a collision course to murder each other, despite their growing attraction.

Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor: Sunny Nwazue, an American-born albino child of Nigerian parents, moves with her family back to Nigeria, where she learns that she has latent magical powers which she and three similarly gifted friends use to catch a serial killer.

Akata Warrior (Akata Witch #2) by Nnedi Okorafor: Now stronger, feistier, and a bit older, Sunny Nwazue, along with her friends from the the Leopard Society, travel through worlds, both visible and invisible, to the mysterious town of Osisi, where they fight in a climactic battle to save humanity.

Bad Witch Burning by Jessica Lewis: For fans of Us and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comes a witchy story full of black girl magic as one girl’s dark ability to summon the dead offers her a chance at a new life, while revealing to her an even darker future.

Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi: After he eats the sin of a royal, Taj, a talented aki, or sin-eater who consumes the guilt of others whose transgressions are exorcised from them by powerful but corrupt Mages, is drawn into a plot to destroy the city, and he must fight to save the princess he loves and his own life.

Beasts of Prey by Ayana Gray: Two Black teenagers, talented Beastkeeper Koffi and warrior-in-training Ekon, must trek into a magical jungle to take down an ancient creature menacing the city of Lkossa, before they become the hunted.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton: In the opulent world of Orléans, where Beauty is a commodity only a few control, Belle Camellia Beauregard will learn the dark secrets behind her powers, and rise up to change the world. 

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney: A whimsical and butt-kicking Alice in Wonderland retelling featuring a black teen heroine who battles Nightmares in the dark and terrifying dream realm known as Wonderland. 

Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves: 16-year-old Hanna reunites with her estranged mother in an East Texas town that is haunted with doors to dimensions of the dead and protected by demon hunters called Mortmaine.

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury: Set in near-future Toronto in which, after failing to come into her powers, 16-year-old Black witch Voya Thomas must choose between losing her family’s magic forever or murdering her first love.

The Bones of Ruin by Sarah Raughley: Set in Victorian England, African tightrope walker Iris cannot die; but soon gets drafted in the fight-to-the-death tournament of freaks where she learns the terrible truth of who and what she really is.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi: 17-year-old Zélie and companions journey to a mythic island seeking a chance to bring back magic to the land of Orïsha, in a fantasy world infused with the textures of West Africa.

Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2) by Tomi Adeyemi: After battling the impossible, Zélie and Amari have finally succeeded in bringing magic back to the land of Orïsha. But with civil war looming on the horizon, Zélie finds herself at a breaking point: she must discover a way to bring the kingdom together or watch as Orïsha tears itself apart.

Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron: 16-year-old Sophia would much rather marry Erin, her childhood best friend, than parade in front of suitors. At the ball, Sophia flees, hiding in Cinderella’s mausoleum. There, she meets Constance, the last known descendant of Cinderella and her step sisters. Together they vow to bring down the king once and for all.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Crown of Thunder (Beasts Made of Night #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Taj has escaped Kos, but Queen Karima will go to any means necessary--including using the most deadly magic--to track him down. 

A Crown So Cursed (Nightmare Verse #3) by L.L. McKinney: Alice is ready to jump into battle when she learns that someone is building an army of Nightmares to attack the mortal world, before she learns of a personal connection to Wonderland.

Daughters of Jubilation by Kara Lee Corthron: In Jim Crow South, black teen Evalene Deschamps finds her place among a family of women gifted with magical abilities, known as jubilation - a gift passed down from generations of black women since the time of slavery.

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland: The Civil War is over, but mostly because the dead rose at Gettysburg—and then started rising everywhere else. Fighting the undead is a breeze for Jane McKenne, an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. But the fight for freedom? That’s a different story.

Deathless Divide (Dread Nation #2) by Justina Ireland: After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler. But nothing is easy when you’re a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to Nicodermus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880’s America.

A Dream So Dark (Nightmare Verse #2) by L.L. McKinney: Still reeling from her recent battle (and grounded until she graduates) Alice must cross the Veil to rescue her friends and stop the Black Knight once and for all in Wonderland.

Early Departures by Justin A. Reynolds: Jamal’s best friend Q is brought back to life after a freak accident … but they only have a short time together before he will die again.  How can Jamal fix his friendship without the truth?

Fate of Flames by Sarah Raughley:  Before they can save the world from the monstrous phantoms, four girls who have the power to control the classical elements: earth, air, fire, and water must first try to figure out how to work together. 

For All Time by Shanna Miles: Tamar and Fayard, two Black teens, are fated to repeat their love story across hundreds of lifetimes, from 14th-century Mali to the distant future, as they struggle to break the cycle.

The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna: Inspired by the culture of West Africa, a feminist fantasy debut traces the experiences of 16-year-old Deka, who is invited to leave her discriminatory village to join the emperor’s army of near-immortal women warriors.

The Good Luck Girls by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The country of Arketta calls them Good Luck Girls--they know their luck is anything but. Sold to a "welcome house" as children and branded with cursed markings. When Clementine accidentally kills a man, the girls risk a dangerous escape to find freedom, justice, and revenge.

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron: Set in a West African-inspired fantasy kingdom, Arrah comes from a long line of powerful witchdoctors, yet fails at magic. When Arrah trade years off her life for magic to stop the Demon King from destroying the world—that is if it doesn’t kill her first.

Legacy of Light (The Effgies #3) by Sarah Raughley: After Saul’s strike on Oslo—one seemingly led by Maia herself—the Effigies’ reputation is in shambles. Belle has gone rogue, Chae Rin and Lake have disappeared, and the Sect is being dismantled and replaced by a terrifying new world order helmed by Blackwell. If the Effigies can’t put the pieces together soon, there may not be much left of the world they’ve fought so desperately to save.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn: In this King Arthur retelling, Black teen Bree Matthews infiltrates a secret society of powerful magic wielders to find out the truth behind her mother’s untimely death.

Mem by Bethany C. Morrow: In alternate reality Montreal (1925), a young woman’s personality is the result of a startling experimental procedure, leaving her to struggle with the question of who she really is.

Miles Morales, Spider-Man by Jason Reynolds: But Miles Morales accidentally discovers a villainous teacher's plan to turn good kids bad, he will need to come to terms with his own destiny as the new Spider-man. 

Oh My Gods by Alexandra Sheppard: Half-mortal teenager Helen Thomas goes to live with her father—who is Zeus, masquerading as a university professor—and must do her best to keep the family secret intact.

The Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds: After falling for Kate, her unexpected death sends Jack back in time to the moment they first met, but he soon learns that his actions have consequences when someone else close to him dies.

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith: Set in a futuristic, hostile Orleans landscape, Fen de la Guerre must deliver her tribe leader's baby over the Wall into the Outer States before her blood becomes tainted with Delta Fever. 

Nubia: Real One by L.L. McKinney & Robyn Smith: When Nubia’s best friend, Quisha, is threatened by a boy who thinks he owns the town, Nubia will risk it all—her safety, her home, and her crush on that cute kid in English class—to become the hero society tells her she isn’t.

A Phoenix First Must Burn: 16 Stories of Black Girl Magic, Resistance, and Hope edited by Patrice Caldwell: Filled with stories of love and betrayal, strength and resistance, this collection contains an array of complex and true-to-life characters in which you cannot help but see yourself reflected. Witches and scientists, sisters and lovers, priestesses and rebels.

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron: In this contemporary fantasy inspired by The Secret Garden, Black teen Briseis has a gift: she can grow plants with a single touch. Up against a centuries-old curse and the deadliest plant on earth, Bri must harness her gift to protect herself and her family, when a nefarious group comes after her in search of a rare and dangerous immortality elixir.

A Psalm of Storm and Silence (A Song of Wraiths and Ruin #2) by Roseanne A. Brown: As the fabric holding Sonande together begins to tear, Malik and Karina once again find themselves torn between their duties and their desires.

A Queen of Gilded Horns (A River of Royal Blood #2) by Amanda Joy: After learning the truth of her heritage, Eva is on the run with her sister Isa as her captive, but with the Queendom of Myre on the brink of revolution, Eva and Isa must make peace with each other to save their kingdom.

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko: In a West African-inspired empire, Tarisai is raised by The Lady and sent to kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself?

Redemptor (Raybearer #2) by Jordan Ifueko: For the first time, an Empress Redemptor sits on Aritsar's throne. To appease the sinister spirits of the dead, Tarisai must now anoint a council of her own, coming into her full power as a Raybearer.

The Ravens by Danielle Page & Kass Morgan: The sisters of Kappu Rho Nu share a secret: they’re a coven of witches. For Vivi Deveraux, being one of Kappa Rho Nu’s Ravens means getting a chance to redefine herself. For Scarlett Winters, a bonafide Raven and daughter of a legacy Raven. When Vivi and Scarlett are paired as big and little for initiation, they find themselves sinking into the sinister world of blood oaths and betrayals.

Rebel Sisters (War Girls #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Though they are working toward common goals of helping those who suffered, Ify and Uzo are worlds apart. But when a mysterious virus breaks out among the children in the Space Colonies, their paths collide.

Reaper of Souls (Kingdom of Souls #2) by Rena Barron: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible.

A River of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy: A North African-inspired feminist fantasy in which two sisters, Eva and Isa must compete in a magical duel to the death for the right to inherit the queendom of Myre.  

Slice of Cherry by Dia Reeves: In Portero, Texas, teens Kit and Fancy Cordelle, daughters of the infamous Bonesaw Killer, bring two boys with similar tendencies to a world of endless possibilities they have discovered behind a mysterious door.

Siege of Shadows (The Effigies #2) by Sarah Raughley:  After Saul reappears with an army of soldiers with Effigy-like abilities, threatening to unleash the monstrous Phantoms, e-year-old Maia and the other Effigies hope to defeat him by discovering the source of their power over the four classical elements, but they are betrayed by the Sect and bogged down by questions about the previous Fire Effigy's murder.

The Sisters of Reckoning (The Good Luck Girls #2) by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The blockbuster sequel to an alternate Old West-set commercial fantasy adventure.

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow: Set in the near-future, in which a captive teen human and a young alien leader—bonded by their love of forbidden books and music—embark on a desperate road trip as they attempt to overturn alien rule and save humankind. 

War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi: Set in a futuristic, Black Panther-inspired Nigeria, sisters Onyii and Ify, separated by a devastating civil war, must fight their way back to each other against all odds.

Vessel by Sarah Beth Durst: When the goddess Bayla fails to take over Liyana's body, Liyana's people abandon her in the desert to find a more worthy vessel, but she soon meets Korbyn, who says the souls of seven deities have been stolen and he needs Liyana's help to find them.

The Weight of Stars by K. Ancrum: After a horrific accident brings loners Ryann and Alexandria together, Ryann learns that Alexandria's mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system.

White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson: Black teen Marigold and her blended family move into a newly renovated, picture-perfect home in a dilapidated Midwestern city, and are haunted by what she thinks are ghosts, but might be far worse.

Wings of Ebony by J. Elle: Black teen Rue, from a poor neighborhood who, after learning she is half-human, half-goddess, must embrace both sides of her heritage to unlock her magic and destroy the racist gods poisoning her neighborhood with violence, drugs, and crime.

Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Thomas: In this Jamaican-inspired fantasy debut, two witches from enemy castes—one seeking power, and one seeking revenge—will stop at nothing to overthrow the witch queen, even if it means forming an alliance with each other and unleashing chaos on their island nation.

Within These Wicked Walls by Lauren Blackwood: An Ethiopian-inspired Jane Eyre retelling in which an unlicensed debtera, or exorcist, Andromeda, is hired to rid a castle of its dangerous curses, only to fall in love with Magnus Rochester, a boy whose life hangs in the balance.

Yesterday Is History by Kosoko Jackson: Black teen Andre Cobb undergoes a liver transplant and as a side effect winds up slipping through time from present-day Boston to 1969 NYC on the eve of the Stonewall riots, delivering a story that is part romance, part gay history, and part time-travel drama, exploring how far we have and haven't come. 

[farfromharry]

Call me when you get this | College!Tom fic

Summary: you knew it’d be difficult for your relationship when you and tom went away to seperate universities. but now you were missing each others calls, your only form of communication, living off of the sound of your lover through a voicemail.

Word count - 14.3k+

Warnings - language, mentions of underage drinking, suggestive content, angst

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Friday, 7th September

Standing in front of your boyfriend’s house before nine in the morning on a cold Friday in September was not the place you really wanted to be right now, especially when you were having to say goodbye to him for who knows how long.

“I guess this is it,” he said, his voice lacking that usual boyish excitement it possessed when he was around you.

Today was the day you and Tom had been dreading for so many months. The day Tom left and really solidified the fact that the two of you had to part to go to different colleges, which were also quite a few hours away from each other. Your heart was aching as he stared at you with those sad, brown, puppy dog eyes, but you were sure your own eyes were exactly the same.

You began to tear up as you watched him pack his bags into the back of his mum’s car, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout directed at him. When he turned his head he noticed you staring and opened his strong arms for you, inviting you in. You obviously immediately accepted, rushing into his warm embrace. He squeezed you tightly in his arms, feeling your body begin to shake as you let out a broken sob.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” He cupped your cheeks, making sure you were looking at him before he spoke. He had a comforting smile on his lips, one that always made you feel all warm inside. “This isn’t goodbye,” he promised, kissing your head a few times, “‘m gonna visit as much as I can, we’ll see each other soon. I’m not leaving forever,” he said.

“I’m going to miss you, so much,” you whispered, letting his strong, calming, scent overwhelm you when you buried your head back in his hoodie. “I’m so used to seeing you everyday.”

“I’m going to miss you too, more than you know Y/N.” You sighed sadly, nuzzling your face even deeper into his chest, if that was possible. Tom smiled, running his fingers through your hair as you both swayed softly in your embrace.

The moment was ruined all too soon by Nikki shouting for him. She felt bad for breaking up your moment, but the drive was already long and they wanted to arrive before lunch.

“Tom, we have to go,” his mum announced, trying to motion for him to start heading to the car. All his stuff was already packed inside, you’d helped with most of that part earlier this morning just so you got to spend more time with him, and now he was all ready to go; even if you wish he wasn’t.

Nikki offered you a sympathetic smile, knowing you were struggling to part from her son. She’d always called it ‘puppy love’ but she didn’t quite understand the extent of your affection for one another.

“I love you, and I’ll call you as soon as I can,” he promised, pressing no less than three quick pecks onto your lips. You nodded, plastering on a fake smile. He wiped your tears with the pads of his thumb, his heart fluttering as you giggled at how silly you were being.

He leaned down to kiss you one more time, ignoring the mixed taste of both of your salty tears. Only then did you realise Tom was crying too, your heart aching.

“We’re idiots aren’t we?” you asked. He nodded, chuckling as he pulled away from you. The only touch you had now was from the way your pinkies were still locked in a promise that you were going to make this work.

“I’ll see you later, bub.” “See you later, Tommy.”

He placed one final kiss on your head before turning on his heel to walk down his driveway. As he climbed in the car you were tugged into a hug by one of the twins.

When you looked up you noticed the wild curls and rolled your eyes at Harry, but nonetheless rested your head against his chest. “I still don’t know how you put up with him for so long.”

You laughed, playfully pushing Sam for the comment to scold him.

“Seriously Y/N, he’s so in love with you. Everything’s gonna be fine,” he admits in Tom’s absence. He knew that if Tom were here right now he’d probably hit him for saying so out loud.

“He’s right, he never shuts up about you,” Harry added. “Always gushing about everything you do,” he fake gagged.

“He’s whipped,” Paddy said, the youngest of the brothers making you giggle. Your heart swelled in your chest, your body suddenly feeling warm, even in the cold London weather.

Within the time of your conversation, Tom had already left, shooting you one last longing glance along the way, a smile forming on his lips when he saw you laughing with his family. You eventually had to part from the brothers and head home to pack your own things, saying your goodbyes and then starting your short walk home.

»»——⍟——««

You didn’t expect that Tom would already be desperately missing you by the time it turned dark. But your computer ringing on your desk proved you wrong.

Seeing his contact name on your screen for a facetime call made your heart flutter, sitting down in your chair to answer his call. It was slightly glitchy for the first few seconds, just while it connected, but within a minute Tom’s pretty face was lighting up your screen.

“Missing me already, Holland?” you poked fun. You watched him roll his eyes, completely ignoring your comments. “Hi, angel,” he greeted.

You bit back a smile, tucking some loose hair behind your ear to try and tame it after you caught sight of the mess you looked like in the small box at the top of the screen.

“Hi, how was your drive?” you asked. You shuffled around a bit, trying to get comfortable in your now much more bare bedroom. You’d been packing your stuff for most of the day after you got home, so your hair was a complete mess that had just been thrown out of your face when you started getting too hot to have it in your face all the time. You had one of Tom’s many hoodies you’ve stolen clinging to your body, his scent surrounding you.

Just bringing the sleeve up to your nose was enough to make it feel like he was really with you right now and not just on a screen.

“It was long, very boring too,” he whined, running his hands through his curls. “I suppose my mum made it at least a little better.” You giggled, pouting playfully for him. “How awful.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you pack,” he said, motioning to the boxes stacked behind you, a soft pout on his lips that just made you want to kiss him. He’d already told you he’d felt guilty that you helped pack for him, but he wasn’t there to do the same for you in return.

“S’okay, one more box and then I’m all ready to go in the morning anyway,” you reassured, motioning around your pretty much bare room with your arms.

“It looks so empty,” he commented, recalling in his head how nicely decorated it’d looked during his millions of visits. You nodded, frowning as you looked at your childhood room that held almost no kind of decoration on the walls.

“Anyway, let’s stop moping, I don’t want to cry again today,” you demanded, hearing a chuckle come from his end. He nodded his head, quickly changing the subject to something more positive.

You and Tom were talking for hours. In that time he showed you his new dorm room, and told you that he’d need your assistance at some point to help decorate, but it was more of an excuse to get you to come visit already. Your parents also made themselves known at one point, greeting your boyfriend and asking how everything was going so far. You kicked them out after a while, playfully irritated that they were hogging your boyfriend from you.

“Get out,” you said, trying to hide your little giggle. Tom was laughing on the other side, watching this all go down. “I am so sorry about them.” He was still giggling, making you smile and roll your eyes.

“I love them, don’t worry,” he reassured you. You huffed. “I’m pretty sure they love you more than me,” you told him. He shrugged his shoulders, flashing you a cheeky grin.

“I can’t really blame them.” You scoffed, shaking your head at him, feigning disappointment.

Over the course of the call you could see him growing more and more tired. His words would come out slightly more slurred, his movements slower and his eyes fluttering shut every few minutes, craving sleep desperately.

“Is it bad that I miss you already?” he asked, eyes drooping as if he was about to fall asleep any second. You smiled, watching him with a heavy heart.

“No,” you whispered, so gently Tom almost didn’t hear it. “But i told you so.”

Your lips twitched into a grin, hearing an unimpressed groan come from the other end. When the moment died down you took another long look at your boyfriend. “You should get some rest, looks like you’re going to fall asleep any second.” He hummed, smiling at you sleepily as he rested his chin on his hand.

The simple action, even after seeing it a hundred times, still made your stomach erupt with butterflies, yet another smile overtaking your features. You were sure that at this rate your face was going to end up hurting from smiling so much, but you suppose those are the kind of sacrifices you have to make when your boyfriend’s adorable.

“Goodnight Tom, I love you,” you said, your finger hovering over the end call button. You waited for his reply patiently, knowing his very sleepy mind often took longer to process things.

“G’night. Love you.” He nuzzled his face into the blanket you’d given him before he left. The one you normally take with you to sleep at his house, the one that smelled just like a mix of your shampoo and perfume.

It made Tom’s heart pang, but your smell also comforted him in a way he couldn’t explain in words. You took one last look at his sleepy face before ending the call with a small sigh.

You fell back on your bed, your eyes landing on the box of stuff that you had to finish up before you could head to bed, your body and mind screaming at you for not doing it earlier. You begrudgingly pushed yourself up, moving over to the wall of your room that held your photos of your friends and you.

You smiled as you looked through each one, some of friends and family, others with Tom or Tessa or the other Holland siblings that had built up over the years.

One specific picture caught your eye, one where you and Tom were happily slow dancing together at his cousin's wedding in late June of the same year. The memories from that night all came flooding back all at once, your heart overflowing with love and adoration for the male for the thousandth time today.

“Ow tom, you just stepped on my foot,” you whined, frowning at him. Instead of apologising like a normal person would’ve, your boyfriend instead chose to burst into laughter. You gawked at him, trying not to crack up yourself, trying to keep up your angry facade.

“I-i’m sorry-“ he wheezed. You started to giggle yourself due to his contagious laughter, shaking your head at how childish he was.

“That hurt. You’re heavy,” you laughed, “You’re such a dick,” you mumbled, your smile refusing to fade. Tom beamed unphased by your attempted insults, kissing your head and somehow pulling your body even closer to him.

“But you love me,” he whispered, his head tucking into your neck, placing another barely there kiss on the skin of your bare shoulder. You rested your cheek against the side of his head, fingers stroking the short hair at the nape of his neck, listening to the sound of him humming along to the song.

“Yeah, I do.”

You didn’t even know Nikki had snapped the picture until you were in the car with his family driving home that night. Tom had fallen asleep in the car, his head on your shoulder after one too many drinks, the boy taking much advantage of being over the legal drinking age for the first time.

His mother had grabbed your attention in the silence and showed you the beautiful picture on her camera, watching as your face twisted into one of delight. “Nikki, it’s beautiful,” you told her, being completely honest with yourself, you were in awe.

“Well, I thought you two were just completely adorable.” She smiled at you. The romantic aura had your heart melting, asking her if you could have a copy for yourself. She was more than happy to oblige and the next day she was handing you a physical copy of the image.

Now here you were, taking the picture down after only two or so months of having it up. You felt your eyes welling up again, wiping them with the back of your hand. “Damn it Tom, you cursed, chuckling to yourself over how obviously in love you were with this boy.

»»——⍟——««

Monday, 10th September

Tom's classes at uni were scheduled to start almost a week earlier than yours, which is why he had to leave home before you. Today was his first day of classes, he only had the one today but he had already promised to tell you about it as soon as it was over. He also knew that you should’ve arrived at your own campus this morning, making a mental note to ask you how it was going so far when he called you later.

Everything on your end was going well, you ended up driving there by yourself because your parents were unfortunately busy, but the unpacking process was coming along well.

Tom left his first drama class after the hour with a wide grin on his face. He'd just had arguably the best class of his life and he could barely contain his excitement long enough to wait to tell you about it. He pulled his phone out almost as soon as he stepped out of the classroom, stepping out of the way of the students piling out of the class. He pulled up your contact and hoped you weren’t too busy with unpacking your stuff, so he could talk to you while making the long journey back to his dorm.

Your loud ringtone filling the silence in your room interrupted your current task, shuffling over to see Tom's contact lighting up your screen the same as the night before. You knew you couldn’t be annoyed at his little interruption, especially because you’d already missed the sound of his voice so much and it’d only been a few hours at most.

“Goodmorning, angel.” You smiled as he greeted you, almost as soon as the line connected.

“You sound cheerful today,” you pointed out. You held the phone between your ear and your shoulder, putting the last of your books on the small wooden bookshelf in your room.

“I just had an amazing first class.”

“Well, I’m glad, tell me all about it,” you told him. He talked to you about his morning class for almost 20 minutes, rambling and gushing about how much he enjoyed it and everything that happened, down to a T. You couldn’t have been happier for him. After your long discussion, making sure you asked him lots of questions to give him the chance to let him give you every detail, he seemed to finally take a breath and turned the topic of conversation around. You ended up talking about you now, one of Tom’s favourite things to talk about as he’s told you tie and time again.

“How’s unpacking going?” he asked, finally arriving back in his own dorm. You heard him greet someone with a hello, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “Who was that?” you asked.

“My roommate,” he answered casually, like he hadn’t forgot to mention he ever even had one.

“You have a roommate, since when?” He paused and thought for a minute.

“Since I got the room I think, his name is Harrison,” he suddenly lowered his voice, cupping his mouth around the speaker of the phone, “He’s a bit of an arsehole though, I won’t lie.” You laughed loudly, glad you didn’t have your own roommate to share the small dorm with. You quickly got back on topic, Tom asking you even more questions.

“How are you settling in?” he asked, just as you had asked him last night.

“I'm okay, have some unpacking left to do, and classes don’t start until next week.” He hummed along with what you were saying, listening to every little word. “How’s the campus?”

“It's nice, but it’s lacking a certain pretty boy that I’m so used to seeing.” He awed, teasing you thoroughly about how sappy you were. You always got nervous when trying to flirt with your boyfriend, scared it wasn’t going to come out as smooth as you’d hoped.

“Shut up,” you said, trying to mask your embarrassment. He always managed to make you flustered when you talked about your feelings for him. He didn’t let it linger too long though, changing the subject as quickly as you’d moved on to it.

“So,” he started. “When do you think you could come help me decorate?” he asked, once again changing topics, this time however you were rather grateful he did.

“Need to see me in person already, Holland?” You turned the teasing around onto him, pausing what you were doing to give him your full attention.

“You know I do,” he said. You rolled your eyes when he didn’t end up nearly as embarrassed as you had just been. Sometimes his confidence in flirting really did infuriate you.

“No, but really, I want to see you. I miss your cute face,” he said, groaning towards the end of his sentence. You giggled, shaking your head. “Well, I have all this week that I can come down and see you,” you offered.

“How's Friday? You could stay the weekend, go back Sunday,” he suggested, “If that’s okay with you,” he added, not wanting to sound so demanding like he was forcing you to come.

“That sounds perfect, but check with your roommate, I don’t want to give him a reason to be more of a dick.” Tom laughed, nodding his head. “I appreciate that,” he chuckled. “and I will, don’t worry,” he promised.

There was a sudden, unintentional shift in the mood, the two of you becoming rather quiet as you both thought for a few moments. There was still the traces of your smiles on your lips, but they were quickly fading.

“How are we supposed to do this for so long?” you asked after the laughter completely died down, finally showcasing your worry to him that had been eating up at you practically since you got your college offers.

He smiled, shrugging his shoulders to himself as if it was obvious. “We’re Tom and Y/N, a fucking power couple, we got this,” he said, quoting something your school friends used to call you, all while calming your nerves about if your relationship would work long distance. “We had this discussion plenty of times before we left, I promise you, we’ll be okay.” You smiled, not that he could see.

“Good, because I'm not letting you go that easily mister.” He chuckled.

“I wouldn’t dream of letting you go either, you’re one of a kind Y/N.” You grinned, the two of you just basking in the knowledge of each other's presence.

“How did this get so cheesy so quick?” he asked, making you laugh.

“That’s just who you are,” you said.

You heard a childish scoff on the other end. “Am not.”

“You so are!” The two of you stayed on the call until you realised how much work you really had to do with your room. The boxes were still stacked up and unopened, you hadn’t even unpacked half yet.

“I appreciate your company, but I really need to get back to putting stuff away.” You didn’t really want to stop talking to him, but you couldn’t deny he was a massive distraction from your original task.

“Yeah of course, but I can't wait to see you Friday,” he said, making that giddy feeling linger in your chest. Butterflies were erupting in the pit of your stomach the more you thought about it.

“Me too, and we’ll have to plan when you can come down here sometime,” you said. “Unlike you, I have a room to myself,” you pointed out, having a slightly suggestive undertone to your words.

“I’ll remember that,” he paused, “Princess.”

You shivered, chills shooting down your spine, the nickname was something he would only use when the two of you were having, adult time.

“You bastard,” you said, referring to the way he said that with such ease, knowing it’d play on your mind for the rest of the day.

“Alright, well i’ll text you later,” he brushed it off, making his promise instead, hearing an ‘alright’ from you on the other end.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you more, see you later Tom.” You ended the phone call with a fuzzy feeling all over your body, smiling to yourself, dazed. Tom was exactly the same all those miles away, laying back on his bed with a lovesick grin painted on to his face. You were both so in love, and so, so confident that your relationship would make it through this distance.

»»——⍟——««

Friday, 14th September

Friday thankfully came very quickly, something you were very, very happy about. Before setting off on your long, lonely journey, you pulled your phone out of your pocket to call Tom.

“Hello Thomas,” you greeted, unable to wipe your grin from your face. You were seeing your boy today.

“Hi beautiful, what’s up?” he asked, sounding rather out of breath. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Do you need an inhaler or something, or-“ you teased.

“I woke up late, I'm currently running across campus to my class.” You laughed at him, receiving an annoyed scoff from him.

“I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving now, I should probably be there just after lunch,” you said.

“That’s amazing, I’m sorry you’ve got to drive all that way alone though.” You shook your head, once again forgetting that he couldn’t see you.

“It’s okay, but I should let you get back to being late for your class, good luck,” you said.

“Thanks, very funny, I'll see you when you get here,” he said. You could practically hear the smile in his voice, even over his dog-like panting.

“See you later.” You hung up with a small squeal, a small smile staying glued on your face, even well into the drive after the conversation had ended.

You had to admit, the car ride was lonely by yourself, but it was also so worth it for Tom. It’d only been, not even two weeks, but you missed him greatly already and from what you’d heard from him, he felt exactly the same.

The silence in your car was filled with the sound of your different playlists playing through the speakers. Some were just from random playlists, others from the playlist that you and Tom seemed to most enjoy together.

You could feel your heart starting to beat faster, butterflies erupting in your stomach as you got closer and closer to your destination.

You sent him a quick text when you hit traffic just outside of the campus, telling him you’d be about 10 more minutes. You just received a simple smiley face in response. You and Tom both had your locations on for each other anyway, so he’d know when you arrived. It’d become a promise that you always would after one night when you’d been out with your friends getting drunk, and you’d gone a little bit too far.

You could barely even stand straight anymore, having already forgotten about a few drunken messages you’d sent to Tom before the last shot you’d taken. You were drawn out of your daze when you felt your phone buzzing against your leg, seeing Tom’s contact on your screen. You squealed like a little girl, answering his call with a slurred yell of his name.

“Where are you, baby?” he asked, concern laced all through the tone of his voice.

“ ‘M having fun with m-my-” he heard you huff, “I can’t find them.”

Tom’s eyes widened at the thought of you being alone and drunk in now an unknown location. He cursed under his breath, trying to think of a reasonable thing to do.

“Can you turn your location on for me, Y/N?”

You hummed, pulling the phone away from your ear. You tried to steady your vision, telling Tom that the room was spinning. It made things ten times more difficult, but you eventually managed to do it, alerting Tom with a cheer.

“I did it, Tommy,” you said, “Are you proud of me?” you sounded like a scared child, desperate to receive Tom’s validation.

“So proud of you, angel.”

Tom pulled up your location on his phone, noticing you were at a bar. He wasn’t sure how you’d managed to successfully get in underage, being only 17, but you managed.

“Can you stay where you are for me?” You nodded your head before realising he couldn’t see you. You giggled to yourself quietly before mumbling a quiet yes. Tom offered to stay on the phone with you but you told him you needed the bathroom, feeling as though you were going to throw up.

When Tom arrived, he had to ask the bouncer if he’d seen you, showing him a picture. The large man motioned to where you were sitting on the curb by yourself, shivering from the cold hitting your bare arms. He bent down beside you, reaching out to place his hand on your arm, shocked by how cold you were.

“Tommy,” you gushed, wrapping your arms around his neck, “By the way, I didn’t throw up,” you stated, almost as if you were proud of that achievement.

“That’s good, but let’s get you home.” He pulled off his jacket to wrap around your shoulders, helping you up off of the floor and guiding you to his car. You were heavily drunk but you weren’t completely out of it, so when Tom drove past your house, you began to whine at him.

“I’m not letting your parents see you like this, they’ll kill me and then you.”

You huffed like a child. “You’re too pretty to die.” Tom laughed, reaching over to grab your hand and press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Yeah?” “Yeah,” you sighed dreamily.

Tom helped you inside his house, making sure to avoid any creaks in the floorboards so he wouldn’t wake his family. He guided you up to his room and then started the process of being a good boyfriend. No matter how tired you were, he helped you change into some of his clothes, helped to take off your makeup and tied your hair up and then made you brush your teeth by yourself, even when you complained.

The last move was getting you under the covers off his bed, seeing you pass out almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. “Goodnight angel, you’re going to have a horrible hangover tomorrow.”

And true to Tom’s word, you woke up the next morning in his bed and clothes, your head pounding and only a faint memory of the previous night. Tom strutted into his room clad in only a pair of plain black joggers, his abdomen on full show.

“Ah, you’re finally awake.” He placed a glass of water and two pills down on the nightstand beside you, telling you to drink up so you could feel better. He filled you in on all the basic details and you just wanted his, ridiculously comfy bed, to swallow you whole.

“Maybe we should keep each other’s locations on from now on,” Tom suggested. You nodded, rubbing your side head and leaning into him. “I think that’d be a good idea.”

That’s how he knew you’d arrived in the campus car park. You had barely even stepped out of the car when he practically tackled you in a hug, taking you off-guard. You laughed loudly, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling your nose into his cheek.

“I'm so glad you’re here,” he said, squeezing you tightly. You couldn’t push away your grin, your heart feeling like it was going to explode as you held your boy in your arms.

“I missed you bub,” you whispered, pulling back to kiss him. Your lips molded together perfectly, the two of you feeling as though you were complete again.

You weren’t sure you’d ever shared a kiss like this with Tom, and the two of you had shared lots of kisses. This one was different though, it felt like every moment of emotion from missing his person these past two weeks was being poured into this kiss and you loved it.

“Oi, Holland, cool it with the pda.” Tom turned his head, spotting one of the lads from his drama class and suddenly feeling embarrassed. You tried to turn his head to kiss you again, searching for his lips with yours and ignoring the obvious moron that interrupted you, but then huffing when he denied you. You followed his gaze, seeing a boy standing a few feet away.

“Who’s that?” You watched as he flipped him off jokingly, making some comment about how he at least had a girlfriend.

“That's Tuwaine, he’s in my drama class, met him the other day.” You nodded, smiling before turning back to look at your boyfriend.

“So, are you gonna show me to your dorm, or do we have to stay out in the cold?” you teased. He laughed, helping you take the bag you packed out of the back of your car and offering to carry it for you.

“Such a gentleman,” you commented.

“That I am,” he said, bowing playfully. You shared another round of laughter before you silently decided you really should get out of the cold weather.

“Lead the way, handsome.” He laced your fingers together, leading you in the direction of his building. You walked slowly, giving you both a chance to catch up. Over the small journey you’d shuffled closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your other hand around his arm.

“Right in here,” he said, guiding you through the door of his building. His hand resting comfortably on the small of your back. He unlocked the door to his room, opening it and like the gentleman he claimed he was, let you go first.

The two of you entered his dorm room, Tom holding out his arms and muttering a quiet ‘voila,’ making a show of it. You giggled at his behaviour, humming as you looked around at the messy and pretty much bare room.

“Very nice, it practically screams boy,” you pointed out, sending him a tormenting smile.

“Hey, hey, be nice.” He pointed his finger at you, scolding you teasingly.

“I’m always nice, whatever do you mean?” you smirked, playing dumb. He tossed your bag on his bed and pulled you in by your waist, he kissed you again, more passionate this time now it was without the interruption of the public eye. You gently pushed on his chest, ignoring his whine when he tried to follow your lips again, just as you had done earlier.

“I came here to help you decorate, not to sleep with you.” Tom rolled his eyes.

“We could do both,” he muttered. You tossed one of his pillows at him, seeing him raise his hands in defense.

You punched his shoulder lightly, kissing him quickly.

“Alright, let’s decorate,” you said, clapping your hands in front of you. Tom pulled out the boxes he had yet to unpack from his small wardrobe, handing you one that had pictures in it.

“Where do you want these?” you asked. He motioned to the wall next to his desk.

“Right there, so I can stare at your beautiful face when I don’t want to do my school work.” You giggled, nodding your head.

“Alright then, can’t argue with that.” You started pulling pictures out of the box, some of you two together, some of his family.

“Do you remember this?” you asked, holding one of the pictures of you both between the tips of your fingers. It was you and Tom at his family’s cabin in France, the one where they go skiing almost every year. You were both in big coats and snow trousers, trying to keep warm on the snowy mountain. You both had your ski goggles resting on your head, the two of you grinning widely. “Yeah, I do, he smiled, “That was such a great trip.”

“That reminds me, my mums been asking about if you’ll come again with us this year.” You smiled at the thought of Nikki thinking about you and wanting you to be around her family.

“I'd love to, I always have so much fun there,” you said, trying to be heartfelt and honest.

“Me too,” he winked, referring to the separate ‘fun’ you two always have right after midnight on new year's day, just to start the year off right.

“Behave,” you warned, pointing your finger at him.

“When's your roommate coming back?” you asked, changing the topic while stretching to put up another one of his pictures. He laughed, pressing his solid front to your back, cheekily nibbling on your neck.

“Why, something on your mind?” he asked, hinting at something else, squeezing your waist underneath his hands.

“No, stop that,” you scolded playfully, shaking your head at your boyfriend. “Just wanted to know if he’d have an issue with me being here, that’s all.” Tom hummed.

“He said he’d be fine with you being here, in his words ‘as long as he doesn’t have to hear us fuck,’ so.” You laughed, nodding your head.

“Well, he won’t have to worry about that,” you said, a cheeky smile on your lips. Tom pouted, however accepting your kiss as apology.

You spent the next few hours unpacking Tom's things, focusing more on hanging up some of his clothes on the racks he had, rather than the pictures you were doing earlier. At some point you did steal one of his hoodies, pulling it over your head just to have a sense of him close to you, even if he was already in the room with you, receiving the comment of, “Just can’t stand to be away from me, huh?” tugging at the material of the pink hoodie. “Shut up.”

After it went dark, you and Tom put off the rest of the decorating until tomorrow, not that there was much left to do anyway. You agreed on just watching movies for the rest of the night, calling for pizza. He got some extra too, to thank his roommate for letting you stay.

You spent what felt like forever searching for a film on your boyfriend’s laptop, finally settling on one that you and Tom both thought sounded good. The two of you sat together on his bed, your legs in his lap and his hand rubbing the scratchy fabric of your jeans.

“I’m starving,” you whined, burying your head in Tom's chest. Your stomach growled just to prove your point, making Tom laugh.

“It'll be here soon,” he reassured. A knock on the door made both of your heads perk up.

“That was good timing,” you joked. Tom jumped up from his bed, pulling some cash out of his wallet and opening the dorm door.

He frowned slightly when he saw his roommate.

“Forgot my key, sorry,” Tom nodded, seeing your face drop knowing you had to wait even longer for your food. “Someone did hand me this on the way in though, said it was for our room.” He held up 2 pizzas, a cheer coming from you that made Tom laugh. He handed them both to Tom. Tom however handed you one of the boxes, then the other one to the blonde male, who looked at him confused.

“This is actually for you.” He handed him the box of pizza, receiving a rather shocked thank you. “Just a thank you for letting Y/N stay,” he explained.

“This is Y/N by the way, Y/N this is Harrison,” he introduced. You smiled, waving to the blonde.

“You can join us if you’d like, we’re just watching a film,” you offered, just trying to be polite.

“No it’s okay, I’ll let you enjoy your time together, but thank you.” Tom smiled before making his way back over to you, climbing back into his bed behind you. He kissed your head, wrapping his arm around your waist and getting himself comfortable. Harrison put in his own set of headphones, watching something on his computer.

The movie dragged on, finding it growing harder and harder to keep your focus on it.

“Are you tired?” he asked. You hummed, turning your face over your shoulder to look at your boyfriend.

“We can finish the movie tomorrow,” he said. You thanked him, nuzzling your face in his chest and wrapping your arm around his stomach.

“Get ready for bed, I’ll pack this all away,” he said, motioning to the food and things on his bed and nightstand.

“Okay,” you mumbled, begrudgingly letting go of him and climbing out of his bed. You stretched your arms, your shirt riding up slightly and exposing the bottom of your stomach. Tom playfully jabbed you, making you squeal at the ticklish feeling.

“Stop,” you whined, slapping his hand away, pouting as he laughed at you. Tom kissed all over your face until you smiled, getting rid of your pout.

You grabbed your bag off of the floor, sticking your tongue out at your boyfriend childishly. You headed to the attached bathroom to change. You changed out of your current outfit, putting on some comfortable shorts to sleep in that you’d brought with you and then leaving on Tom's hoodie that you stole earlier. You put your hair up, just so it wouldn’t get in your face, tying it in a messy ponytail at the crown of your head.

“Y/N, are you decent?” Tom asked. You furrowed your eyebrows, opening the door for him.

“What’s up?” you asked, pulling your makeup remover out of your bag.

“I need to brush my teeth,” he said. You nodded, shifting to give him enough room by the sink as you began to take off your makeup. He watched you like a hawk the entire time, following your hand movements with every gentle swipe of the cotton pad on your face.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, causing him to snap out of his slight, dreamy daze.

“You’re just so pretty.” You huffed, shoving his shoulder.

“Stop being such a sap,” you commented.

“Only for you,” he teased, sending you a wink through the mirror.

Halfway through him brushing his own teeth, you began to brush yours. Playfully bouncing your hip against his own to push him out of the way of the sink. He stumbled and you let out a muffled giggle, watching him glare at you.

“Oh it’s on, I'll get you back,” he promised, receiving a teasing ‘oo’ from you.

After spitting in the sink, he flashed you a toothy grin through the mirror, one that made you giggle. Now that he had nothing left to do, he moved over to start bothering you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gently prodding your stomach to try and tickle you and get you to laugh.

“Tom,” you scolded, trying to focus on brushing your teeth.

“Hurry up, I wanna go to bed,” he whined, sounding almost like a pouty child. You finished up brushing your teeth, holding your hair back as you spit your toothpaste into the sink.

You wiped your mouth with the towel and then turned to Tom with a smile. He playfully pinched your cheeks, telling you you looked cute.

“Okay, I’m done,” you said, slapping his hands away. He placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the bathroom.

Upon entering his room again, you saw that he’d actually cleaned up his mess for once, receiving a proud, but sarcastic, clap from you. He caught on, telling you to behave.

“Come on, get in.” He pointed to his bed, letting you get in first. His bed was barely bigger than a single, so the two of you had to cramp together, not that either of you would ever complain. He climbed in after you did, pulling you back into his chest and burying his face in your hair.

“You smell really good.” You giggled tiredly at his comment, eyes fluttering shut.

“Thank you bubba, now go to sleep.” He turned off the light above his head, kissing your neck and closing his eyes.

“Goodnight,” he mumbled.

“G’night Tommy.”

You had to admit to him, his bed was almost as comfy as sleeping on a cloud- not that you’d know what that’s like, but still. It was possibly the best night's sleep you’d had in months, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the bed or because you were back in Tom’s strong arms. When you woke up though you were alone in the bed, looking around to find you were alone in the room too, Harrison’s bed already having been neatly made.

The door opened right on time and Tom strolled in. He noticed you were awake and flashed you one of his charming smiles.

“Good morning,” he greeted. You stretched your arms above your head, making a soft noise that almost made Tom melt in his converse.

“Morning,” you smiled, pulling his covers up so they were right underneath your chin. Tom thought you looked so precious, pulling out his phone to snap a quick picture of you, even after you protested against it.

He leaned down, kissing you gently.

“I went and got us some breakfast.” You pushed yourself into a sitting position, thanking him quietly. You ate together, making happy conversation. Tom asked about how you slept and also admitted he slept better with you in his arms. He basically forced you out of bed, after you refused to leave the warmth.

“Let’s finish decorating and then we have the rest of the day to spend together, doing whatever you want,” he said. “I like the sound of that.”

The rest of the weekend after that went by quicker than you would’ve liked. It felt like only hours before Tom was walking you to your car, ready to say goodbye to you again.

“I hate this,” you whined.

“Me too,” he mumbled. “I'll come and see you soon though, I promise,” he said, squeezing you tightly before opening your car door for you.

“Such a gentleman,” you teased, referencing the moment when you arrived a few days ago, kissing his lips.

“I’ll see you as soon as I can,” he repeated.

“I love you,” you muttered, running your fingers through his untamed curls.

“I love you more.” He kissed you one more time. You climbed into your car, waving to him through the window as you started up the engine. You sighed as you drove out of the gates of the campus, not really ready to start your long journey back to your own.

»»——⍟——««

Friday, 18th November

Unluckily for you and Tom, ‘soon’ ended up being almost a whole two months later. Tom was so busy with schoolwork that just kept piling up and by the time he was free, you were busy. The cycle kept repeating and it was horrible. You missed your boyfriend greatly and you were hoping he missed you just as much as he said he did.

Tom had arrived at your campus early in the morning, at a time you wished you didn’t have to be awake, just so he could spend longer with you. At least you could appreciate the gesture, even if you were losing out on sleep.

“And this is where the magic happens,” you said, opening the door to your dorm and guiding him in. He chuckled, kissing your head.

“What kind of magic?” he asked, an underlying dirty meaning to his question.

“Shut up.” you flushed.

“I can’t believe I haven’t been able to touch you in almost two months,” he whined, his boyish attitude dissolving and being replaced by your whiny, adorable boyfriend, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“I know,” you said, getting completely distracted by running your fingers through the overgrown curls that were peeking out from underneath his cap. You thought it was adorable, but you knew he’d grow to hate it soon enough. “You need a haircut,” you mumbled, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I think I like it longer,” he said as you pulled off his cap, tugging at the long strands of dark hair. Tom stared at you as you did so, watching how fascinated you seemed to be with his hair. He couldn’t help leaning in, connecting his lips with yours.

“Uh-uh, not now,” you told him. “Later, baby.”

He huffed, pulling your lip between his teeth, running his hands up and down your body.

“Come on, you can decide if you like my hair longer.” His sentence had an underlying tone of lust to it, just like his earlier comment had too, trying to hint at a very non-pg act the two of you could be doing right now.

“Nope, later though, I promise.” He whined, throwing his head back. You bit back a grin, taking in the way his jaw looked sharp and very much attractive from this angle.

“Well, get dressed handsome, I’m taking you to dinner.” He lowered his head and looked at you with a smile, kissing you softly. “Are you trying to woo me, now?”

“Of course, now put on something pretty and let’s go, I need my arm candy.” You slapped his butt playfully, moving over to your wardrobe to pull out a slightly raunchy dress. Tom recognised the fabric instantly, one he’d seen time and time again that made him go wild.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” he asked, in a state of shock just imagining you in the material.

“Got a problem with that, Holland?” you asked. He rapidly shook his head, unsure if you were joking or not. “Good, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go change.” You made your way into your bathroom, changing into the risky dress without any more interruptions from your boyfriend. 

You took your time getting ready, wanting to make Tom wait just to build up even more anticipation.

“Y/N, hurry up,” he whined. “I want to see you, already,” he complained, whining like a child on Christmas who didn’t get the toy they wanted. You opened the bathroom door slowly, leaning against the frame, staring at him innocently.

“Oh wow, you look incredible,” he said, getting up from his seat on your bed to shuffle over to you, sliding his hands around your waist. You made eye contact with him through the mirror, giving him a seductive smile that had his hands wandering around your body.

“How is my girlfriend so attractive?” he asked. You giggled, leaning back into his touch.

“We need to go, we don’t want to be late,” you said, dodging having to respond to the compliment that made you feel all warm inside, taking his hand and your purse and leading him out of the door.

Tom was in awe of the restaurant when you arrived, he didn’t realise you were taking him somewhere this fancy. “This place is really nice,” Tom said, looking around the restaurant. His hand clinged to your waist nervously as you told the hostess about your reservation. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been somewhere this nice that hadn’t been some sort of family function, so he felt like royalty right now.

“Are you trying to bankrupt me?” he asked, poking your stomach. You slapped his hand away, turning your attention back to the woman.

“This is my treat, come on.” You snapped him out of his daze, guiding him with you to your table. He pulled your chair out for you, kissing your head and almost daring you to make the gentleman joke again.

“You know I’m not letting you pay for this, right?” he asked. You stared at him with a furrowed brow. “Why not?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m visiting you, let me spoil my girl.” He changed the topic of conversation before you got the chance to object.

“I’m so glad we got to do this,” he said. You shook your head, a grin growing on your face. You couldn’t lie though, you were happy to see him in real life again.

“Me too, I know we say this like every day,” you laughed. “But I really missed you Tom.” 

He leaned over the table, kissing you gently before sitting back down in his own seat. You went straight for and picked up the drinks menu, making Tom laugh and shake his head. “Already on the alcohol.” 

“Oh hush.” You scanned the list of wines, finding one that you and Tom had purchased before on a special occasion. You pointed to the name, seeing the cheeky grin spread across his face.

“I remember that night,” he chuckled. “How many rounds- I’m sorry I mean bottles, did we have that night?” Your jaw dropped, giggling at his false cover up. You shook your head.

“We’re in public, stop being inappropriate,” you warned. He shot you a wink, making your whole body flush for the thousandth time since he’d got here this morning.

“Hi, are you ready to order?” the waitress asked, glancing between you two and interrupting your reminiscence into the past. Tom looked up at her with a smile, her eyes widening.

“Could we just have a bottle of red wine for now, please,” he pointed to the one you meant. She nodded, trying to give him a flirty smile that made you snicker. She glared at you, timidly touching Tom’s shoulder before walking away.

“What was that?” you asked, a playful smirk that told Tom you weren’t mad at him.

“You can’t blame me, I’m just that irresistible.”

Her antics continued for most of the night, and you were growing more and more frustrated with how she was blatantly ignoring you to flirt with your boyfriend.

“If she flirts with you one more time, I won’t hesitate to knock over my wine on her,” you threatened, seeing Tom’s lips twitch into a smile. 

“Are you jealous?” he asked, intertwining your fingers on the table. He raised his free hand in defense when you glared at him. 

“Shut up.” You kicked him gently as a warning, seeing the wince cross Tom’s face.

“But not the red wine, you know that’ll stain,” he continued to tease, sarcasm lacing his words. You huffed, flipping him off. Tom didn’t let up on teasing you about your spontaneous hatred for the waitress all night. When she brought out your food he couldn’t help but make a few sly comments in response to her flirting.

“Do you want to try some?” he asked, holding his fork to you. He was trying to make up for pissing you off. You nodded, taking the food off of his fork with a hum.

“That’s really good.” He nodded, taking a sip of his wine. 

“Do you want to try some of mine?” You offered, doing the same for him as he’d done for you. He took it with a thank you, telling you he really liked it. Your food didn’t last long, you were both starving and it was exceptionally good.

You and Tom grew more and more tipsy as the night went on. You began to flirt with him some more too. You’d forgotten how much you enjoyed spending time with Tom.

“Oh here she comes,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. Tom laughed, squeezing your hand in his.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked, her flirty gaze focused on Tom. You rolled your eyes, teasing your heel up his thigh under the table as you sipped on your drink. He coughed nervously, trying to ignore how close your foot was to his crotch.

“C-can we get another bottle of wine, please?” She nodded, leaving you both as you were.

“Spoiling me today are we?” you teased. He laughed, nodding his head. “Always, gorgeous.”

After your second bottle you didn’t waste much more time at the restaurant after paying the rather pricey bill, calling a taxi to take you back to the campus.

You could barely even stand straight by the time you were pushed up against your dorm room door. Your hands were working on unlocking it, struggling with the way his lips were attacking your neck and shoulders. You still weren’t wasted, but you could definitely feel the alcohol in your system, making everything feel lighter and Tom’s touch even more amplified than normal.

“So, when’s your roommate coming back?” he joked. You giggled quietly, throwing your jacket somewhere in the room. 

“Very funny, now shut up and just get in my bed.” He laughed loudly, picking you up by your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist, grinning up at him when he dropped you back on your bed. “Get ready for the night of your life,” he whispered, attaching his lips to your neck.

“I’ve been ready.” 

»»——⍟——««

Wednesday, 3rd April

As the months went by, the visits became less frequent, finding it increasingly more difficult to find time to actually physically go and see each other. Rather than at least once every two weeks, it started to be once in a while, and then eventually you wouldn’t see each other until the trip over Easter break. 

You both tried to call as much as you could, but you eventually started missing each other's calls more and more. It got to the point where you could not talk to each other for a minimum of 3 days, with the exception of a quick text in a morning or just before you went to sleep and the occasional voicemail.

It felt like everyday one of you was waking up to the notification of a missed call on your phone, followed by the message you’d received a voicemail. They all went the same way, a greeting, making some kind of light hearted joke that you’d manage to plan badly again, a simple i love you and then a call me when you get this.

When Easter time finally rolled around, painfully slowly, you and Tom were able to organise a time when the both of you would be free so you could plan the trip you wanted to take together.

The familiar sound of your ringtone blared through your dorm room, a small smile creeping onto your lips when you saw Tom’s contact picture lighting up your phone. The picture was an old one you’d taken of his a few years ago, reminding you that you should probably update it soon with a more recent one, that is if you had one.

“Hey, Tom,” you said, greeting him sweetly. You got a hello back, followed by a rather uncomfortable silence that the two of you had never experienced before. “So, um, where are you thinking we should go?” 

The man on the other end was biting his lip nervously, not sure if you’d like the sound of his idea or not, but this also had never happened before, so what was he supposed to do? He always came up with ideas you loved.

“I was thinking we could go to this cabin I found, really pretty view, um-“ He hated that he was unable to see your face right now, not able to see what kind of reaction you were giving off to his words. “You can say no of course, but I thought it’d be nice.” His voice trailed off towards the end and he spoke much quieter, almost like he was scared to hear your answer.

“That sounds really nice. I’d love to.” You could hear him let out a sigh of relief, the man feeling as though a weight had been lifted off of his chest.

“Great. I’ll make sure to call the place.” “I can’t wait.” 

When the day of your trip rolled around you were nervous. You hadn’t seen your boyfriend in forever and you weren’t sure if things were automatically going to jump back to the way they’d been, even if you were hoping they were.

Your eyes landed on Tom with a smile, the man opening his arms to you for a hug. You had no problem practically jumping at him, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly while his snaked around your waist to hold your body close.

“I missed you, so much,” he whispered, his nose buried in your neck to take you all in. You agreed silently, pulling back to be able to press your lips onto his sweetly, sharing your first kiss in months.

Tom had been generous enough to pick you up from your campus and then drive you both down to the cabin, rather than you having to drive yourself. The car ride was full of the stories you hadn’t been able to tell each other yet, filling what would’ve been an awkward silence.

You were more than happy to be back with him, and little did you know he felt the exact same.

However, it felt like for the first few days of the week that you weren’t really there. Of course you and Tom were both physically there but it felt like you were sending longing gazes and looks from a distance rather than really feeling that natural spark between you both.

You’d be sitting on the couch in the cabin, both of you in silence as you watched any random movie that played on the TV in front of you. Normally the two of you would be making constant unnecessary commentary throughout the duration, but here you were, sitting stiffly next to your boyfriend.

“What is wrong with us?” Tom asked. You turned your head, furrowing your eyebrows at the pretty boy who was staring right back at you with those puppy eyes. 

“What do you mean?” you asked. You had an idea that he was talking about the atmosphere between you both.

“This is so awkward, we- we’re usually so natural and us,” he complained. You sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder with the first display of affection that night.

“Yeah, I know. We’re probably just out of practice, right?” you suggested. You didn’t want to believe that your relationship could be going downhill, you were Y/N and Tom, that couldn’t possibly happen. “We’ve got this Tom, we’re still us.” 

That short conversation seemed to have worked. Over the next few days, and the last few remaining days of your trip, you and Tom were practically back to your normal ways. Your affection and love was able to come naturally again, calming all your racing thoughts about the pair of you drifting apart.

Unlike the past few days, now you’d be in the kitchen cooking, laughing and making jokes while having mini food fights. Or you’d be getting ready for bed, brushing your teeth when Tom would wrap his arms around you from behind and start placing kisses up and down your neck, making you flush and giggle sweetly. You spent your mornings sharing sweet words and kisses that made you completely weak for the man, and even thinking about giving it up again for who knows how long brought you physical sadness.

When it came to the time you had to leave you were obviously sad, more than you thought you’d be when this week began. You and Tom had almost managed to rebuild your relationship to the strength it once was, so now it was hurting just as much as the first time he left on that Friday in September.

He drove you back to your campus in mainly silence, the two of you keeping your fingers interlocked while he drove, soft music playing over the radio in the background. 

“How much longer?” you asked, hoping to have at least a little longer with him. He flashed you a small smile. “Under twenty minutes.” 

You sighed, feeling him squeeze your hand in response while his eyes stayed fixated on the road.

In a very short twenty minutes Tom was pulling into the College, parking quickly and turning off the car. The two of you just sat there for a minute, not saying anything but at the same time saying everything that needed to be said.

“Well, I guess this is it,” you said, turning to him with a sad smile. He nodded his head, lifting your hand from where it rested in your lap to place a gentle kiss on the back of it.

“‘m gonna miss you,” he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead comfortably against yours. You hummed, quickly pecking his lips.

“Don’t forget to call me, Holland,” you warned, pointing your finger at him playfully.

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.”

»»——⍟——««

Sunday, 29th May

By the time June was about to roll around you hadn’t seen Tom in almost two months.

He never did call, and the calls you left for him only ended up being missed. Everything had gone back to the way it was before. Almost two whole months. You still had faith in him, and almost everyday you’d wait to see if he’d call. Most of your calls to him would go straight to voicemail, so you simply gave up on putting in the effort.

It was the same routine everyday. Wake up, go to class, wait for Tom’s call, give up. Today was slightly different because you had plans for the night. You tried to wait as long as you could in your dorm to see if Tom would call, but when the clock hit six you gave up.

Some girls you’d begun to be friends with from your History class had invited you to a party they were going to, so to take your mind off your boyfriend not calling, you agreed to go. You did some light makeup, curling your hair like you knew Tom liked, then slipped on a black dress that would’ve made him drool.

You snapped a few pictures, some of just your face but then others of you in your dress too, debating on whether or not you wanted to post them to your account where Tom would definitely see. 

After staring at them for probably way too long, you gave in and did it anyway. You smiled as your friends gave nice comments, waiting to see absolutely anything from your boyfriend.

A sudden knock on your dorm door startled you away from your entrancement with your phone, opening it to see your new friends with large smiles. They held up a bottle of alcohol that would no doubt be for pre-drinks, making you laugh. You ignored their attempts at trying to get you to do a shot, telling them you were waiting on something from Tom. 

“Are you ready to go yet?” one of them asked. You sighed sadly and nodded.

“Let me just grab my purse,” you said, you walked back over to your bed, checking your phone one last time with a sigh, still nothing. 

“Alright, let’s go.” You smiled, closing your door behind you and heading off to the party to forget. You laughed together along the way, internally grateful for them trying to take your mind off your boyfriend.

But even in the party atmosphere, after they’d gone to get drinks or find someone to hook up with, you struggled to tear your eyes away from your phone. 

“Y/N, I don’t want to see this phone again,” Lainey said, holding two drinks in her hands. You were guessing she was already tipsy.

“Hey, fuck him okay? He’s the one missing out.” You giggled, thanking her and nodding. You put your phone in your bag out of sight and took the drink from her outstretched hand.

“Now, let’s party,” she announced, dragging you into the crowd of people where you’d end up being for the remainder of the night.

When you finally got back to your dorm after the party, it was the first time you checked your phone in hours. You saw a couple missed calls from Tom, as well as a voicemail. Your excitement from the night faded and your heart clenched, frowning that you’d missed him again. Even when you were waiting for any sign of contact from him, you weren’t expecting him to call you today and now you just felt guilty for mentally cursing him out earlier on.

You played the voicemail on speaker as you were taking your makeup off. The sound of Tom’s voice still made you feel all warm inside, even when you were mad at him, and you were addicted to the feeling.

“Hi beautiful, looks like I missed you again.” He laughed. “We really need to get better time management.” You nodded your head with a smile, agreeing. “I just wanted to hear your voice, I had a pretty shitty day and uh, yeah,” he paused. After hearing that you were able to hear the obvious signs of sadness lingering in his tone. “I saw your post by the way, you looked gorgeous, I hope wherever you went you had fun.” It was quiet for a few seconds.

“Call me when you get this, I love you.” 

Your heart ached, you didn’t know he’d had such a bad day. You planned on calling him back straight away, but upon noticing the time and realising that at three in the morning Tom would most likely be asleep, especially due to him having classes in the morning, you didn’t have much faith in him answering.

Just as you suspected, the call almost straight away went to voicemail, telling you to leave your message after the beep.

“Hey Tom, I’m so sorry I missed your call,” you started. “I-I was at this party and just got so caught up in it all, I didn’t even see my phone ring,” you paused, the line going silent again.

You knew when he listened to this voicemail that he’d hear how happy you sounded talking about the party. For now you knew you needed to say something else before the line cut you off.

“Well, I’m really sorry your day was bad. Call me back, I want to hear what happened, ‘nd know what I can do,” you told him. “I love you tom.”

Your eyes wouldn’t let you stay awake much longer after that. Letting you change into comfier clothes before you passed out for the night.

The next morning was a Monday, and you had absolutely nothing to do all day due to having no classes. You woke up earlier than you would’ve liked, having a quick snack for breakfast and then climbing back into your warm bed.

You pulled out one of the books Tom had bought you over Christmas, smiling as you traced the hardback cover. You could still vividly remember how happy you were the moment he’d given it to you.

“So I know I already got you something,” he stated, grabbing the wrapped book from out of his suitcase, “but I also know how much you’ve been wanting this.”

He placed the present in your hands. You thought it felt quite heavy, beginning to tear away the wrapping paper until the mystery was revealed. Your eyes widened as you read the front cover, over and over, just to make sure your eyes weren’t deceiving you. It was the same book that you’d been trying to find since its release, however it’d been sold out everywhere and you’d complained to your boyfriend countless times.

“Tom, oh my god,” you gasped, staring at him in shock, “How did you get this?”

“I have my ways.” His lips curved into a smirk and you pulled him into a tight hug, practically suffocating him.

“Thank you, you angel.” You kissed him softly, but it was a kiss that was filled with so much passion and adoration that it made your head spin. “You’re perfect.”

“I’m guessing this means you like it?” he teased. You rapidly nodded your head, even if he was being sarcastic.

“I adore you.”

You were engrossed with reading it for the next hour or so, a soft smile on your face as you got lost in the storyline. It was arguably unlike anything you’d ever read and you absolutely loved it.

The loud, blaring noise of your ringtone filled the silence in your room, making your heart leap, alerting you of an incoming phone call. You reached over to your nightstand, picking it up and glancing at the caller ID.

Seeing Tom’s name splayed across the screen made you smile, bringing the phone up to your ear after answering.

“Hi Tommy, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today,” you said, smile wide as you answered the call. “I was just reading the book you got me for that one Christmas, d’you remember?” You heard him clear his throat, taking a deep breath before he spoke.

“I think we should talk.” Your heart dropped, smile falling from your face, putting down your book and sitting up straighter because he definitely didn’t sound happy.

“What?” you asked, following with a nervous laugh. It probably wasn’t what you thought it was right? It was just a harmless phone call. “Where is this coming from?”

Tom felt vulnerable. He was never one who was amazing at having deep conversations where he’d wear his heart on his sleeve. And he was positively in love with you, so this was torture. “I never talk to you anymore- We never talk anymore. You’re always out having fun and I-I feel like you don’t want to be with me now.” You frowned, tears beginning to cloud your eyes at his confession. You weren’t even aware he felt like that until now. You were glad he’d told you, but your heart ached at the idea of you making him feel like this unintentionally.

“Tom, I love you, with my whole heart and I-“ You heard his shaky breath and quiet sniffle down the phone line, your heart breaking at the sign he’d been crying- or maybe even still was. “Tom.” 

“No, I, it’s breaking my heart Y/N,” he cleared his throat. “I just-“ he stopped talking, sighing loudly. He was starting to get frustrated with himself. He didn’t know how to confess his feelings and it felt to him as though he was making it harder. 

You weren’t able to process what was happening right now. Your thoughts were running wild and you were scared to death that he was about to break your heart, something he promised he wouldn’t do when you started dating. As cliche as it sounds, you thought he was it for you. You weren’t able to picture anyone else in your life besides Tom, and even though you were young, you were certain this would be endgame.

You were crying now too, tears racing down your cheeks, dripping from your chin to your lap as you sniffled. You whimpered his name into the phone, prepared to fix this and fight for your relationship, you couldn’t lose him like this, not this easy. Part of you was hurting for him, you felt utter sympathy for what you’d been putting him through, you wish he’d told you sooner so you could’ve tried harder. But, another part of you was angry at him, for springing this onto you so suddenly, for doing it over the phone and for being so selfish.

“What are you saying?” you asked, your voice coming out weak and filled with obvious desperation. “Tom, please, I can’t lose you.”

There was a few moments of silence. A few hours away from you Tom was sitting alone in his dorm room. At least he thought he was alone. For the entirety of the phone call Harrison had been standing outside of their dorm room. He was about to enter when he heard Tom talking on the phone, not wanting to interrupt he decided to wait, but the course of the call clearly took a turn from the usual lovey-dovey conversations he overheard.

Tom had his knees pulled up to his chest, his head leaning back against the wall and his bottom lip tugged between his teeth as he played out all the things that could happen from now on in the call.

He was evidently stressed, tears streaked across his cheeks as he took shaky breaths to push down his sobs. “I-I think we should talk about this another time,” he said, the sound of a small sniffle following down the phone. You squeezed your eyes shut, more tears spilling down your cheeks.

You didn’t know what that meant. Did he want to break up? Did he want to fix things? When was another time? There were so many questions floating around unanswered and you wanted to scream at him for leaving things so open ended.

“I-I don’t understand. We can figure this out- Please.” Your voice broke towards the end, showing your pain through to the man who was struggling to hold back all of his emotions. 

He hated knowing he’d put you in pain but his own heart was hurting too, and it was almost like part of his resented you for that.

He gave up a little bit, deciding he couldn’t do this anymore, not today. “I’ll call you some other time Y/N. Goodbye.” You let out a sob as the line went silent. 

Tom, for one, hadn’t told you he loved you when ending the call, and two, he’d said goodbye. The one thing you promised that you wouldn’t say to each other while you were gone, a promise you made on the very first day he left. It was always, see you later, and now you didn’t know where you both stood.

When Harrison heard the call ended he took it as his chance to enter his room, only to find Tom with his head buried in his hands as he tried to muffle his heartbroken cries.

“Hey, man.” The brunette looked up nervously, furiously wiping his eyes and trying to pretend as though he hadn’t just been bawling his eyes out. “You okay?” he asked. 

Tom wasn’t an idiot. He knew he looked a mess, he knew Harrison noticed, and he didn’t particularly feel up to lying right now. He just needed a friend.

“No,” he answered honestly. Harrison frowned, taking a seat next to Tom on his bed. The two hadn’t been that close since becoming roommates, but were much closer than when they’d first met.

Harrison pulled Tom close to him in a friendly hug. He hadn’t quite been through a breakup so he didn’t know what to say to Tom to help him, but for Tom this was enough.

“Things will get better, I promise.” He shook his head, almost laughing at how ridiculous his roommate sounded right now.

“I don’t think they will. Not anymore.” 

»»——⍟——««

Thursday, 3rd June

It got to the point where you hadn’t heard from Tom in four days. You were almost sure it was over at this point if he didn’t call you soon. You’d tried calling him of course, left countless voicemails and texts, as well as the ones to wish him a happy birthday, something you were rather upset you missed.

You’d barely left your bed in days, it felt like you were too heartbroken to even move. Little did you know Tom was exactly the same. He’d overthought everything he’d done, refusing to speak to anyone but Harrison, who was only making sure he still ate and drank, meaning he missed lots of messages and calls on his birthday.

With a lot of persuading and guilt tripping from his roommate he finally decided to do something about it. “You need to talk to her, mate. Don’t let this ruin everything you have.” 

After that he showered for the first time in days, which Harrison was very grateful for, and got dressed and was ready to head out with one last burst of reassurance to himself.

When you heard the knock on your dorm door you didn’t even consider moving to see who it was, choosing instead to keep ignoring the world like you’d been doing for the last near week. You’d ignored pretty much everyone that had tried to see if you were still alive this week, messages from friends included.

It was only when the knocking became more urgent that you started to get frustrated. Normally after a few short minutes your friends would give up and just leave, but this only seemed to be carrying on.

You groaned, wiping your dried tears and pushing yourself out of bed begrudgingly. You didn’t care that you looked like a mess anymore, so you didn’t care that this person, whoever it was, was going to see you like this. 

You pulled open the door open rather angrily, your eyes widening in shock when you saw Tom standing there with a bag on his shoulder, looking almost as broken as you did, but possibly more cleaned up as he’d actually made an effort.

You didn’t know how to react at first. You didn’t know where the two of you currently stood and you didn’t want to push his boundaries, but seeing him standing there told you he was ready to fix this. When he flashed you a small smile you didn’t waste another second, nearly flinging yourself into his arms, almost crushing whatever it was he was holding.

“Oh, thank god,” you cried, wrapping your arms around his torso. You were scared he wouldn’t hug you back at first, confirming what you thought about your relationship truly being over. That wasn’t the case though. Tom wrapped his free arm around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in his grasp, his hand drifting to the back of your head to keep you tight against him.

The two of you thrived being in each other’s touch again after so long without it, feeling as though your heart was finally mended again. 

You were reluctant to pull away. However, you unfortunately had to at some point. You led him inside your room, trying to quickly tidy at least a little bit of your mess that had collected over the past few days, even if that meant just making your bed for you both to sit on.

Tom set whatever had been in his hands down on your desk and then placed his bag on your floor before sitting down next to you on your bed, finally letting you see the mini cake he’d brought with him. You felt your heart flutter, the idea that he still wanted to be able to celebrate his birthday with you was too precious for you to handle.

You didn’t talk for a few minutes, messing with the sleeves on your jumper that was probably Tom’s as you waited for him to talk.

“Y/N,” he said, watching as you raised your head to look at him. “C’mere.”

He opened his arms for you, not feeling physically close enough to you as he wanted to be. He helped you crawl into his lap, your legs thrown over his while your face tucked into his neck. His hand rubbed up and down your back when he felt the way you were shaking slightly.

You were trying to string together the sentence of words you wanted to say to him but for some reason it was just too emotional for you.

“I-I was so scared Tommy,” you admitted. “I didn’t want us to be over,” you cried.

Tom hated seeing you like this, knowing that he’d been putting you through this for days without returning your calls or messages, even if he was no better on the other side of the phone. He shook his head, cupping your cheeks and making you look at him so he knew his words would sink in. He gently wiped away your tears, even if they just kept on coming.

“I would never, I promise,” he said. “I could never let you go that easily, not without trying to make it right. I’m sorry for putting you through that.” You smiled, for the first time in days.

“Good, you’re too hot to leave me,” you teased. He chuckled, shaking his head at you. “I’m sorry too, by the way. I didn’t know I was hurting you.” 

It fascinated you that all you needed was to apologise and pretty much all was forgiven. Things clearly weren’t going back to normal straight away but you were glad you were able to at a minimum not break up.

The whole moment felt like something from a movie. Tom was looking so lovingly into your eyes, silently pouring all his love for you in the simple action of holding you while his thumb stroked your cheekbone. You looked back with an exact reflection of his own emotions, your heart feeling as though it was mending everything that had broken it this past week.

Tom took the moment to lean down to kiss you, his lips curving into a frown when you turned your head for his lips to meet your cheek.

“Why can’t I kiss you?” he whined. He looked like a scolded puppy, his expression bringing a smile to your lips. Your expression changed though when you remembered why you didn’t let him kiss you, letting out a huff that twisted into a frown. Tom gently kissed away the crease that had formed between your brows, your face heating up at the simple gesture of love.

“You said goodbye,” you said, hitting his chest lightly. He cocked his head in confusion. “What?” he asked, innocence lacing his tone.

“On the phone. You said goodbye, and you told me we wouldn’t do that.” 

He could tell you were getting worked up again, his hands coming up to wipe any stray tears that fell. “Oh bub, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot for doing that over the phone,” he apologised, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear to keep it out of your eyes.

You smiled at him, letting him think you’d forgiven him enough to finally let him kiss your lips. He leaned in again, only inches away this time when you pulled your head back, giggling quietly to yourself as he let out an audible groan.

“Now what?” he asked.

“You need to tell me what that cake is for first,” you grinned. He rolled his eyes, reaching over as much as he could to grab it from your desk.

“I thought, seeing as we missed my birthday, we could celebrate together a little late.” 

Your heart melted as he confirmed your thoughts. You rested your head against his shoulder, letting out a sigh as you allowed your eyes to close for a few seconds.

“I missed you,” you mumbled. It was something the two of you said a lot, but even then every time was just as true as the next. He hummed quietly, kissing the top of your head lovingly.

“I know, I missed you too.” You gave in this time when he gently guided your chin so you were looking up at him, letting him press his lips to yours gently. Your hand snaked into the hair at the back of his head, keeping him close to you so he couldn’t pull away from you prematurely.

When your lips parted you rested your forehead against his, your eyes tracing the freckles that decorated the skin of his nose and cheeks. 

He lifted his hands up slightly, a motion to show the object he was holding. “So, how about some cake?” 

You let a soft giggle slip past your lips, nodding your head as you wiped away and excess tears that still remained on your face. Tom rummaged through a few things in his bag until he found some utensils to eat the cake with, making you laugh at how he’d come so prepared.

“Happy late birthday to me,” he said, taking a bite of the cake with a content look on his face. You hummed, watching him with complete adoration glittering in your eyes.

“Happy late birthday, Tommy.” 

The two of you ate in a comfortable silence, relishing in the fact you were back together again. Your mind was brought back to the bag you’d seen him bring, catching his attention long enough to ask him a question.

“Are you planning on staying?” you asked, trying to contain any excitement just in case you’d end up getting your hopes up. He nodded, trying to suppress his grin as he saw your eyes light up. “I want to take the time to make this right again, Y/N,” he admitted. “As long as it takes.” 

You agreed, pressing another kiss to his soft lips. “As long as it takes.” 

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

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