#and now im tempted to go reread some of the stories

[drawsmaddy]

[ID: A digital illustration of Dr John Watson and Sherlock Holmes from the Granada Television Sherlock Holmes series. The illustration is based on a screencap from The Solitary Cyclist. Watson stands holding a bowl with one hand and tending to an injury on Holmes' forehead with the other as Holmes sits in front of him. Holmes looks pleased with himself and Watson looks slightly grumpy. End description.]

Ended up rewatching a lot of Granada Holmes episodes after rewatching the Sherlock Holmes episode of Star Trek TNG and now here we are

[cerealmonster15]

haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

I am once again mourning the loss of Reverse Avalor AU

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Ok two things, because I’ve decided that since I’m starting to actually use tumblr and not just be lurking and that means that per the contract, I must address some things that I was really tempted to before. I apologize that it’s all gonna be on posts you made a While ago.

One, that post you made about the Batfam from the original timeline finding out Tim was dead. That killed me. Like I have been thinking about that for months. I still have a screenshot in my camera roll of the last line.

Two, the poll you made? of flipping heads or tales? Devastating. On one hand I live for the angst, but on the other I am so glad that we didn’t have Jason yelling at Tim for the pie. I would have simply been destroyed. I don’t know if I would have recovered. Ever since learning that was even an option I’ve been distraught.

Anyway just wanted to tell you how much I love the fic. It makes me what to bite them, but I’m scared I’ll give them rabies. I have fully reread it about 4 times now not including the passive reads. I feel like the words are ingrained into my soul. At some point I saw one of your post talking about how you have laid hints in the story I have been trying to actually absorb the words into my skin and blood stream. So who knows. Maybe at some point I’ll have a theory on what’s going on. But I am not very smart so i won’t hold my breath about it.

<3333333

Congratulations on using tumblr more!! Join the collective :D And no worries!! if anything I ADORE talking about older posts, the new takes, recontectualized shit etc.

The Jason with a shovel thing is actually something I nabbed from a friend @ihavenotsleptindays based on their fic i've been viciously obsessing over here because my god the implications were too fucking good and so so on brand I couldn't resist the brainrot.

I tend to do polls when im like "Yeah I think I know what I want but im not sure" because then watching the direction swing one way or another, I truly learn if I really WAS indecisive or if I was like "NO I WANT THIS ONE" and for heads and tails?? While Jason deserves a good yell- i'm happy how it turned out.

Again thank you so so much <33 And oh yeah, there are LOTS of things scattered throughout each of the chapters. One way ill contextualize it is theres an entire closet of Chekovs guns, some that have already been fired and just the powder and casing remain, others who i've yet to even load.

If you do have a theory id LOVE to hear it!! Feel free to ask/comment/dm but of course depending on the medium will vary how much I may or may not confirm/allude :)

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Fic Author Questions

@curator-on-ao3 thank you for tagging me in this new set of fic author questions! I had a lot of fun answering. ❤️

1. Why do you write fanfic?

I guess I stuck with it and stayed inspired largely because ive found really wonderful communities in fanfiction, whether its coming together to share in one beautiful AU story or different iterations of canon or just experiencing the joy of writing together. and having those communities has sustained me through some very isolated years and have been overall a positive experience in my life. ive made really wonderful friends through fanfic.

But I can't deny that I got into fanfic because my brain just fixated on one story and i had the overwhelming urge to put it on paper and so a smaller motivation is that there continue to be stories like that that motivate me to keep writing fic.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I guess just by virtue of planning the sequel at the moment, I think about and reread Unbroken alot

I have also had the Universe to Mend in my mind since last year and keep coming back to the two versions of Janeway i explored in that and where I left the two of them. and thinking about the other characters too: Mortal Q and Captain Chakotay and Stadi/Tuvok and where they might wind up next.  I have a few ideas for what might come next so I suspect there's at least one sequel on the horizon somewhere.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Deadlines help you set goals and motivate yourself, but you don't owe them to your readers.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

So, and this has been a very good thing for my self esteem and general mental health, working with data all day has made me really ambivalent about my story stats. They're interesting and useful when I have a specific question I want to answer with them but the rest of the time I no longer pay much attention to them.

The stats that I do focus on are all things I measure - timeframe to chapter/story completion, average words per chapter, total word count. Those help me set realistic expectations for myself and help me work on my goals of having healthy writing habits and writing more concise stories.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I miss writing Threshold AU!!!!

I want to again and will again, but having had like... negative amounts of writing time this summer and being fixated on a new long story, lots of others have taken a backseat. i really miss the cameraderie of writing threshold au stories and the freedom and joy I get from working with that really original fresh premise - it frees me to experiment and be a bit more imaginative. im sad i havent had time for it in a while.

6. What motivates you to write?

A story takes up residence in my head and its beautiful and tempting and I cannot rest until I have delved in and explored it. Thoroughly.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

communities and friendships do a lot to help keep me inspired, both while continuing old longstanding stories and developing new ideas. and ive found this with Sailor Moon and Star Trek. I doubt i would be as prolific in either fandom without those communities.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

I shove it in the back somewhere and work on other things until ive figured out what I dont like about it thats got me stuck. sometimes it works out that I just need a better idea of where the story is going. and then the story gets finished. and sometimes i find myself realizing the premise is a good one but the execution isnt.  and then if ive already started posting it, i put it in my "Under Review" collection (an unrevealed AO3 collection only I can see) and figure out if i can rework the story from the ground up or if it isnt going to get finished. I've got 3 in there right now.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

That it is actually a huge boost in inspiration to get a nice one. and that it's okay to leave short ones.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

My write in question: Do you create or want to try other types of fanworks?

Just for me i make playlists for characters to help inspire me for fics. sometimes i dabble in fanart. drawing is always really relaxing.

im also facinated by bookbinding. it looks like a really fun physical craft to build even if it looks complicated. i'd love to learn more about how it works.

A lot of my people i usually tag are tagged already so If you want to respond with your own please do!

[lesbianspeedy]

Connor has called Ollie solely "dad" since Quiver why is he calling him "Ollie" now 😭😭😭

This is mean but I laughed out loud when Connor said Tim was the first person he talked about when he was figuring out being ace years ago. Lol. Lmao even. Tumblr really gaslit that poor writer into thinking Connor and Tim had an actual friendship with all their clamoring about him being with the wrong Bat huh. "Where were you?" GEE I didn't know you had to give daily updates to that one kid you teamed up a few times and had some friendly banter with. I love queer solidarity and the whole thing about us finding each other before we even know we're queer but. NO Connor would not have talks about his sexuality with Tim. Cmooooon you're telling me the first person he'd talk to about being ace wouldn't be Kyle "you can tell me if you're gay, Connor" Rayner?

At least that "this is just another thing me and Ollie don't have in common" anxiety is something already established. Like, that's basically the same thing he says to Roy when Roy takes him to that strip club even if it's an issue by Winick (do you ever stop to think about how unintentionally well laid out Connor being ace is and lose your mind a little bit?)

I'm just. Really sad about how Ollie and Connor's relationship is being presented to this new generation of readers. It's like we regressed to the time Ollie was dead, ya know? And I don't like Connor solely for his relationship with his dad, I want him to be a character on his own. But I can't help but being saddened by how he is losing his relationship with everyone that matters. For better or for worse, at least the new GA series is gonna have him interacting with his family (but what about Kyle, Eddie, Jansen and Moonday, ya know?)

The thing is that the story is good and I like its message. It just... Could be with any other character

im tempted to post this without an "answer" because its really well laid out and deserves to be a post on it's own. but i just rlly like ur points and want to interact with them so.

i think there were a few times between quiver and now where he interchangebly used dad and ollie but i get what you're saying, referring to him like hes estranged still was odd.

i totally agree, the idea of queer solidarity is important and should be shown, but i think this was a weird choice to go with. i think the most intimate (from my memory, i havent reread connor's run in a while) question connor ever asked tim was whether batman was his dad (at that time the answer was still no, as jack hadn't been killed yet). and that was only asked because connor was still his charmingly-awful-at-secret-identities-self. the part of their limited friendship that was interesting was the dynamic of new-sidekick-legacy meets new-main-legacy (for lack of a better descriptor), both struggling to uphold what they thought was expected of them. they never got to really advance from that stage of knowing each other to being at a place where they are friends out of costume, let alone discuss their SEXUALITIES.

i agree that the not being in common thing was a nice nod to past character complexities, though it felt slightly like it was the writer genuinely believing that to be true, and not just a rehash of connor's complicated feelings.

i know, its a weird stage we're at now, the resistence to fully accepting the connor that came from the end of his green arrow run, not just the beginning of it. by the end he had come to peace with being green arrow, and not being his father but that being okay. and that's not to say this is all the current writers fault (though williamson has done absolutely no favours with his writing), as winick and krul absolutely demolished any character connor had for their angst and whatever. (remember when connor aggressively yelled at mia for complaining about being stalked by zatanna without being told? or when after being turned into plastic and losing his memories he then decided he hated buddhism and oliver?). (not to mention the seperation from eddie jansen moonday kyle and. despite all of this complaining. tim cass and steph. winick set this precident and i will never forgive him)

i agree, it had good framework, and it couldve been a much more cohesive story if they. had just not used this friendship.

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[mousehole5000]

okay im rewriting tgcf (only in my head im lazy) here are my notes on hua/lian specifically this is long bc fuck it. major spoilers obviously and same trigger warnings as the content of the book

disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer that i dont know anything about the cultural background of anything in tgcf or story tropes etc etc this is just I Think It Would Be Neat If..

there’s not really any reason to keep hc as a kid in the backstory BUT in the story in the intro (which i like narratively) it still says that it was a child who xie lian caught. it’s one of those things that got added to the legend to make xie lian seem even more noble, there are also probably a few other inaccuracies in the intro that get found out as the story progresses. in actuality hc was kind of a known troublemaker to the city guards or whatever or had been in the past. maybe his mother just passed after a long illness and his tumble off the wall was intentional. either way he’s kind of pissed at xie lian for saving him. xie lian is concerned about his health so he has to stay at the palace for a while he recovers and only interacts with xie lian a few times. there is a point where he says out loud all the things about the divide between the rich and the poor that have been illustrated by the scenes with mu qing. feng xin tells him to shut up but mq goes dead silent bc he kind of agrees but can’t say and does have his loyalty to xie lian (its a whole thing) and the resentment begins

also i think young hc’s personality is similar to his personality in the present but a bit more reserved and he’s got like this plucky streak or something. also he is unquestionably gay

anyway hc sneaks out of the palace and xie lian catches him obviously but they have a brief little heart to heart where xie lian is like “look you can go if you want here take this money food” etc and demonstrates that he has actually listened to what hc has to say and hc is like “wow no one other than my mom has ever listened to me in my life so thats what that feels like i kind of like it” and he probably is a bit awestruck by xie lian in different ways and after that is like “okay this kingdom sucks but.. that guys not so bad”

sad ironic sense that if xie lian hadnt ascended until he was older he may have actually be able to do something about the problems in the kindgom but alas we have a cycle to perpetuate

the “take me as the meaning of your life” scene still happens p much the same but xl doesnt recognize hc who is actually now at his lowest point. hc tried to find ways to make things better for people like him but he simply did not succeed (maybe his were efforts quashed by the corrupt authorities? its implied probably) and he’s more disillusioned with the kingdom and life than ever but still is holding on to those memories of xie lian as proof that it doesnt have to be like this but that thread is slipping until!! whose fucking voice is that??? thats right its the one person you ever believed was truly good and went and proved you right by ascending to the heavens at age 17!!! guess its time to stan him forever

anyway hc joins the army but legally or whatever and tbh i would have hated the flower cave scene regardless of anything i just hate any sort of s*x pollen trope or anything so thats gone (they can have a wound tending scene or something tho thats the good shit) and instead we have HL getting overwhelmed by some other demons or something together and xie lian protects hc and they both get injured very badly (maybe hc would lose a limb but im not sure how that would work once hes a ghost so thats on hold for now until i figure it out) and xl is fine but this situation ends up being part of why mq kicks hc out of the army but yes hc still ends up dying on the battlefield anyway </3

the wuming stuff is the same i think but also at some point xl is despairing and says something about that guy he saved from falling and wonders what happened to him and fire ghost wuming is like !!!!! (wait does this happen in canon? honestly it should)

in mount tong’lu i was tempted to actually have hc have a similar moment to the bamboo hat scene with the humans who are trapped in there but im not sure if i just want it to be the same as xie lian’s story... also i like the idea of hc needing to hang onto his devotion to get through his first few centuries of being a ghost so maybe he’s just inspired by xie lian’s sacrifice with the sword and the souls and thats why he claws his own eye out as a sacrifice

so this can go one of two ways from here!!! both are me projecting hardcore so take them with a grain of salt im not saying im right about the way relationships should be these a re just my thoughts <3

1. (the not fun one but it still has a happy ending) the story more or less continues the same as canon. pure and simple devotion is what carries hc through the centuries. we get to see some ghost city antics and its fun but there is nothing complicated about the devotion hc just wants to find xl and protect him. hualian eventually meet. they get along pretty well!! eventually there are cracks. when you hold someone in your mind for so long you have expectations for them that no person can meet consistently. hc thinks that since he’s seen xl during the worst time in his life that he can handle anything but it turns out that as amazing as xl is, he is also just a person and sometimes he is wrong or irrational or annoying. xl is so happy to have someone who will listen to him talk that he kind of neglects to really get to know who hc is as a person and hc is kind of like “huh i didnt expect this but im kind of hurt. i genuinely thought that i just wanted to serve and protect you but actually im my own person and this is weird” but he doesnt say anything he thinks he has to stick to his promise and it gets kind of uncomfortable!! maybe his luck goes haywire bc his faith gets rocked for the first time ever and they end up having to talk it out but their relationship is stronger for it <3

2. (i think this one is fun) hc struggles with waiting. he does it but its hard. he has doubts and when all his efforts to find xl are fruitless he starts to grow bitter and curses the day that xl saved him. his faith burns low but doesnt go out. then ghost city!! hc realizes that he can finally help people like him, even if theyre ghosts now and hes grateful for the chance to do this and grateful to xl and resigns himself to waiting. but its still hard!! he realizes that his luck is tied to his devotion and gets kind of pissed about it!!! he tries to remember all the good things about xl but its hard!!! his search becomes more about repaying a debt so he can be free than anything else, he just wants to help the common people spirits with no strings attached (this actually allows him to keep his luck bc he has the same wish as xl and thats what makes him a true believer!! is this corny? does it make sense? i dont care) and so eventually when he finds xl he’s like okay how quickly can i repay this debt/how can i keep my powers but then xie lian is... so good... and hc actually really likes him he remembers why he swore his devotion in the first place. now hes conflicted!!! dont worry they fall in love tho <3

wow this was really long if you read this hiiiii. anyway when i reread ill try to pay more attention to yin yu and he xuan for hc’s 800 years. hua cheng we’re gonna get you some friends and lore i swear to god

[knightofameris]

YEAAAAAHHHH WE SMARTASSES!! WOOOO WE GOT THROUGH MIDTERMS

p h y s i c s ?????? I am. So sorry. i am so sorry you have to deal with physics. that sounds horrible and i would never wish it upon anyone. AND NO YOURE SMART YOU GOT THIS!!! i am cheering you on while also planning on overthrowing anyone who tries jeopardizing your way to the top— anyways. brain = off. mind = everywhere but nowhere at once. and no u.

HHHHGNFNGHHGG I LOVE NARNIA SO MUCH. the entire story was so good and it always made me cry no matter how many times i read the books/watched the movies. not me having the hugest crush on both edmund and susan pevensie....., ANWYAYS YES!! i can totally see what you’re saying with their similar writing styles!! god i love when authors :) and MC is just. Amazing. there is no other way to describe her. i love her to pieces and if i could i would steal her for myself ngl i wouldn’t be opposed- i mean what?

the more i read the more i just want to stop at the A/N right before all the alt endings 😭😭😭 it’s so tempting, because i feel EXACTLY how you feel with going there for the boys but now i’m just so invested in MC finding herself and becoming happy. i want that someday. it’s making me realize how much i want to be a main character and it’s sad BDKSNDS

(also thank you for recommending me this,,, honestly it made me so happy when you made a specific post for me,,, i love it when people send me things bc it reminds them of me or they want me to get into it bc they think i’ll like it like it just warms my heart fbsksndksk) —🧸 <3

HI HI HI UPDATE I FINDIEHD ALL THE ALTERNATE ENDINGS WHILE LISTENING TO THE RESPECTIVE PLAYLISTS THAT THE AUTHOR MADE ON SPOTIFY AND IM REALLY GOING TO CRY?????? AND THEN I LISTENED TO SOME OF THE SONGS FROM THE REGULAR PLAYLIST AND IM JSUT SITITNG HERE ALSO I LOVE DIBA AND ARANYANI SO MUCH I MISS THEM WTF AMERIS HELP I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE THIS FANFIC HAS CHANGED ME WHAT THE FUCK —🧸

p.s. my favorite ending and arc in general was iwaizumi’s. i refuse to comment further

I COMBINED IT CUS I FEEL BAD FOR SPAMMING THE DASH AHAHAHHA. 

and putting it under a read more because this bad boi is long

I still,,, have another midterm. but its okay this one I'm not too worried about LMAO. 

KDSAJFLADSJF YEAH ME TOO IM SORRY I HAVE TO DEAL WITH PHYSICS TOO what kind of dumbass chooses physics as their major? (me, i’m the dumbass) BUT THANK YOU AHAHA. ill fight everyone for you too!!! brain off always, I accidentally posted the drabbles when I was supposed to post them all tomorrow AHAHAHAH. 

NARNIA WAS REALLY GOOD (don't look at my old works tho, I wrote them when I was 15 and bad at writing please.) its very nostalgic and I really want to reread them tbh. they were just so good AHHHH 

DUDE YEAH ID DATE MC AHAHAHAHAH. god. i was so tempted to not finish the fic either but here I am. i want to reread but I don't want to get hurt LOOOOL. fuck the boys we’re here for MC Suzuki. LOL 

and of course!! I really thought you’d like it and I really really love this story sm. <3 

ALSO OMG I NEVER LISTENED TO THE PLAYLISTS..... OOPS. LOL. diba is such a good character and aRANYANI is that how u spell her name idk. LOL I REALLY LOVED THE OCS. I liked her family even tho her mom wasn’t perfect and like, yeah! her mom doesn’t deserve a redemption arc but she’s trying to be better which I fuck with. even the mom knows she wasn’t perfect and that she should've done better. but alas.  

you’ll need a few moments to let the fic settle in. good luck. LOL

I.... am biased and I say suga AHAHAHHAA with oikawa as a close second and kuroo next! also loved iwaizumi too!!! 

ALSO ALSO. I'm in the discord server with the Fly High writer that she has, and I showed her some of your comments (I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND AHKDJG) but she said thank you and that it means the world! it took her a moment to reply because she was dancing around the room, her words not mine! LOL 

[kinktae]

hello im here to say that im very very inexplicably excited for flesh and blood! yeah! im very excited for it uwu hope you have fun writing it! i love zombie aus

Anonymous said: i love your flesh and blood story!! it’s literally so cute i couldn’t help but gush over YN and JK’s interactions. I was wondering did the movie warm bodies inspire you? 🤣

it did!! :D

Anonymous said: how many parts will there be of flesh and blood and bitchin?

Anonymous said: Hi I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but how many parts will flesh and blood have? I love the story so far 💚

Anonymous said: you probably get asked this alot 😭 so forgive me but how many parts is flesh and blood and bitchin' going to have? asdfghjkl

Anonymous said: you should leave us thirsty and wait for the smut until pt. 4 of flesh and blood 😈

f&b has only 3 parts :)

Anonymous said: I just finished the Flesh and Blood and mind if I say it's BRILLIANT 😍 I have a question tho if JK is not eating y/n and namjoon will he be full with just human foods ? Like how many longer that those candies will keep him from taking a bite from y/n lol? Btw don't wanna sound like needy little brat but when will the next part come I'm so excited about this fic ??

;) guess you’ll just have to wait til part 3 

jeonnsfww said: Hey!!! I am absolutely OBSESSED with your new fic flesh and blood and I was just wondering when you will be coming out with the part two? THANK YOU SO MUCHA AND I LOVE YOU!!!

Anonymous said: when are we getting a flesh and blood update ??🥺

Anonymous said: When is flesh and blood gonna be updated?

joonsbbygxrl said: ok honestly tho? I love flesh and blood so much!!! I've never really read anything like that before so when I came across it I was a bit cautious but now I am OBSESSED! when's the next part coming out?? ♡

dej-okay said: i just read flesh and blood and mayhaps it's my favorite thing in the world 👉👈 is there a taglist or anything for it so i can know if a new chapter comes out 👀

Anonymous said: When will you update flesh and blood ? I love it and YOU so much

taetae123094 said: Can't wait for the next chapter of flesh and blood!!!!😁 When do you think you'll be posting????

Anonymous said: when do you think part 3 of f&b will be out?

I’m not sure when i’ll post the next part and I don’t do taglists, i’m sorry :(

Anonymous said: god....I want a happy ending for flesh & blood. I wouldn’t know how to act if something ended up happening to Jungkook. Hopefully this pussy brings him back to life and he can live on🙉🙉🙈🙈

Anonymous said: Hello! I just wanted to say I finished binge reading your Tempting fic and oh my goodness it was so amazing!! This story was so well written and the characters are so fleshed out; I am incredibly invested in their livelihoods! Thank you so much for creating this series and for making my Halloween beautiful 😊

Anonymous said: I never really send any messages or anything, but God, girl! Flesh and blood had me SCREAMING!!!! 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: OMG YES FLESH AND BLOOD ILYSM

jungkookkilledme said: I've read almost everything you've written, It gives me so many feels I can't take it lmao. CAN NOT WAIT FOR FLESH AND BLOOD PART 3!!! In the whole supernatural realm, zombies are the creatures I absolutely hate but then you came for my neck (or should I say flesh) with zombie! jk. my hoe ass is ready for some weird zombie smut. I hate myself. pls make him jealous lol

Anonymous said: Rereading bitchin’ while I wait for flesh and blood pt.2 Y/N gets to fuck Jungkook in his life and his death. Damn Y/N won

Anonymous said: FLESH AND BLOOD PT 2, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything about it is so good. I love JK’s development (‘: I want to protect him and make sure he doesn’t suffer anymore )): THE KISS SCENE WAS SO CUTE AHHHH. But I really hope that jk, joon, and the reader come up w a plan that keeps them safe from the govt. I know this is all over the place but you are so talented and I hope u know it!!!!! If you wrote chapter books, I would buy every single one

s-u-t said: I love Flesh and Blood part 2, thank you for sharing it with us💕

Anonymous said: flesh and blood is so good rose what the fuck how dare u to finish like that

Anonymous said: i’m reading flesh and blood in class and i’m having the hardest time not the scream

Anonymous said: hey! i've been crazy obsessed with flesh and blood since i read it a few days ago. i still reread it every night, and i just watched warm bodies because of it. i just really love the way you wrote it and the way you captured the story. you encapsulated the growing hope of zombie!jjk well and like, the really sweet and innocent underlying romance. i especially love the 'lil kiss scene, it was really cute. i can't wait to get to the end :) thank you for writing it!

haniexiddd said: flesh and blood is amazing!!!!!!!am i excited for the upcoming zombie sex?? yes i am... and i have no shame

jungkook-is-my-baby said: I love love love Flesh and Blood 🤞💗

Anonymous said: flesh and blood is a beauty thank u ilysm💓

callistojjk said: I love your writing and I just wanted to say that flesh and blood is one of my faves!! How did you make a zombie attractive??? 😩Anywho I read both parts TWICE in a span of three days so there’s that I guess!! I recently started this tumblr to post my first own jk fic and it was partially you who inspired me!! Looking forward to the next part 😍💕

Anonymous said: Hello I just wanted to slide in and say that flesh and blood is so damn good!!! And the way you write is just *chefs kiss* ❤️❤️

Anonymous said: flesh and blood has me HOOKED i’m so hyped for the next part. ur writing is impeccable

Anonymous said: FLESH & BLOOD IS 👌👌👌👌👌👌 I’m usually not into that trope but you make me love this story. Thank youuuuuu

anjelicjazz said: Holy crap Rose!! Flesh and Blood omg!! I had so many warm fuzzy flashbacks to Warm Bodies it's insane! lol that being said I love that while it's in the same au you're writing it to be their story. I can tell you love the idea of it and that you're taking your time with them. They deserve a great story and I just...ah!! Thank you for writing it!! My whole heart revolves around Zombie Jungkook and his impish antics lol~

THANK U EVERYONE FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!!! I read them all and im sorry im only just now getting to them

way-too-addicted-to-anime said: Namjoon in F&B: Say sike right now! Me: .... I mean I can but that ain't gonna be an accurate statement. P.S. How do you manage to write crack seriously like???

Anonymous said: Hhh actually I was just about to mention that your characterization of Joon in F&B is one of my favourites cause while genius!Joon is a famous agenda in the army fanfic community, its always half-assed y'know? Like they'll write him as a whole 148 IQ einstein who went to harvard when he was 7 but his dialogue would be like "so the square of root of this dimension negative to the pythagorous theory-" like bruh do you know what you're talking about? But you seem to really ground his character. Like Joon in F&B knows shit!!! He's already figured out where the whole "zombies are bad" agenda derived from as well as debunking majoritys opinion on zombies. Not to mention his whole drive for knowledge stems from his insatiable curiosity so now we have a why to the how. Basically, you're really good at writing sksjsks ALSO THE PLOT PACING IN F&B IS AMAZING THANK ILY BYE

THE WAY UR ANALYSIS OF F&B JOON MADE ME WET!!! i sent snippets of his part to my friends and i distinctly remember daisy telling me she wanted to suck his dick skdjskj. I think my capricorn self really just is just self-servicing with my smart boy kink heh 

[chokememrstark]

A Dangerous Game // Samifer

Chapter: 3/15

Words: 2035

Summary: Sam comes across a very interesting book that describes a ritual in which one can play a game with the Devil. His curiosity is sparked and even if he doesn’t think he will ever actually do it, Sam soon finds himself face to face with this very entity. Things take a very unpleasant turn, but despite that, Sam is going back, as if something pulls him towards Lucifer.

abuse, violence, bullying, black magic, no hunter!au

Note: The chapters vary highly in words usually, I apologize for that. It’s my longest fic for a while, so I hope you like it ^^ Also, because I feel I need to add this: Dean is pretty much an ass in this story, so if you’re uncomfortable with that you might want to reconsider reading it (or tell yourself he is completely ooc, fine with me too xD)

Thanks to @sassysupernaturalsweetheart & @brieflymaximumprincess for their wonderful beta reading and keeping me company while writing this story ♥

Tagging: @spnyoucantkeepmedown @samlicker83 - if you want to be tagged, just drop me an ask or contact me via IM.

It was way past midnight when Sam finally put the book he had purchased in the morning down. He had spent the last few hours unable to take his eyes off the words, fascinated by what the book revealed to him. At first he was confused by the way the book was written - as if the author spoke directly to him and no one else - but after a while he got used to the style and devoured every single word he found. The book wasn’t about any real magic or spells or anything, but exactly about what the title promised: a game.

When Sam finally put the book down the thoughts ran wild in his head. He knew why the woman gave him candles and the red string now, but it made as little sense as what he had just read. Did she read the book herself and expected him to play the game? Or was she messing with him, daring him to do it? No, that couldn’t be. She couldn’t know if he would take the book seriously or not. Hell, he didn’t even know it himself yet. A game that allowed you to speak to the devil? How crazy was that?

Then again, it was written in a very convincing way and Sam wondered if it was something that worked or that some weird guy made up. After all, it was just a book, right? Even if it seemed very convincing, it was just written words in a book that he bought.

Sam would have reread the book again, if only to look for anything that didn’t fit the story, but it was already too late and his eyes barely stayed open, even when he tried to force it. So, he closed the book and shoved it under his bed, turned off the light and laid down to sleep. It was Sunday the next day, so he would have another day to contemplate about what he had read, but for now he needed some sleep or he would be a walking corpse in the morning - more than he was anyways, of course.

That night, for the first time in a while, Sam had very weird dreams. At first, he was on a field under the full moon, staring at the sky with its stars so bright that everything was sparkling. Then he heard Dean’s voice, taunting him that he was a baby and would always be one and that he would be better off without this emo brother holding him back all the time. Sam turned around, determined to tell Dean that he was not a baby, but when he did, there was no Dean. Instead, he suddenly stood in a church and stared at a huge mirror. It wasn’t his reflection he saw though, it was a shadow inside, with eyes glowing as red as gleaming coal. He was frozen in place when a raspy and dark voice spoke to him.

“Are you brave enough to play my game, Sam?”

The boy woke up, covered in sweat and with his heart racing in his chest. His breath went heavy for over a minute before he finally realized that he was awake and that the weird noise he heard was his brother in the other room, snoring. He laid back, closed his eyes and covered them with one of his arms.

“Damn…” he whispered weakly.

Sam was used to nightmares since he was a young child, but this voice was giving him the creeps much more than even the worst of them. It still echoed in his head, whispering his name over and over - creeping him out and at the same time luring him, which was much worse for some reason.

After a few minutes, when he realized he wouldn’t fall asleep again, Sam sat back up and looked at his clock. It was shortly after four in the morning, much too early to get up, but what was he supposed to do? No, tonight he wouldn’t get any more sleep, so instead of tossing around for a few hours, Sam decided to stop bothering.

As silently as he could, Sam got dressed and sneaked into the kitchen of the small apartment to grab something to eat and drink, before returning to his room. He switched on the light, got a notebook and pen from his desk, then crawled back onto the bed and pulled his new book out from under the pillow. Since he had a lot of time, he thought, he could use it to go through the book again and make notes. So far, Sam wasn’t sure why he even thought about doing this - after all he wouldn’t go out and break into a church to summon the devil, right? But, for some reasons, he still felt the need to do it.

His notebook quickly filled with words, ranging from the things needed for the game, to the individual steps to play it. It really wasn’t that difficult, now that he saw it all in front of him. He still had no idea why the woman in the shop gifted him the candles and yarn, but it would spare him another shopping trip, if he actually considered doing this. Apart from that he would just need salt, a lighter and a church with a full-length mirror. Didn’t sound impossible, especially considering that the town they resided in right now had an old church they abandoned a few years ago. It was about thirty minutes away from their apartment and the verger who usually guarded it, was sick in the hospital at the moment, leaving the church unattended. How he knew that? Well, coincidence or not, the verger was also the pastor of his school and they got the news the week before.

“That’s insane,” Sam huffed when he read through his notes again and shook his head. “Why am I even thinking about this?”

The answer came clear, but it came from a voice inside his head that wasn’t his own.

“Because you are going to do this.”

It was the voice from his dream again, but this time it sounded less raspy and much more real than before. Still, it sent a shiver through Sam’s whole body and he shook his head more determined.

“No, no I’m not gonna play a game with the devil,” he said, but his voice was not at all convincing, not even to himself. “I’m not that stupid.”

But was that the truth? Really? He had no idea. Sure, Sam wasn’t stupid and he knew that, but even thinking about something like this was a very stupid idea and he couldn’t deny that. Still, if he would be careful, he could do it and come out of it unharmed - if it even worked. Sam couldn’t imagine this actually working under any circumstances. Sure, he knew sometimes weird things happened, but talking with the devil? In a church, of all places? That was ridiculous!

When Sam was done with the book again, faster this time, because he was only looking for specific information, it was almost six. He carefully closed the book, when he noticed something that had escaped his eyes the first time. The last page of the book was not the actual last page - it was kind of glued to the cover. Sam lifted the book up and as careful as possible began freeing the paper. It took a little effort to not rip the page in half, but eventually he managed to get it off the cover and turned it.

To his surprise, Sam found a symbol on top of the last page, followed by a few words written in a neat and small handwriting.

For those who dare play this game, I welcome you to try your luck.

Maybe you are the one who will finally be a true competition.

After all, you are smart enough to not fall into any of the traps, right?

LCF

Again, those three letters. LCF. Sam had been a regular visitors of libraries all over the U.S. and not a single time he had seen any book written by someone with those initials - he assumed they were initials, because everything else made even less sense. Sure, he couldn’t have possibly found all authors in existence in the ten years he was actively reading, but he still wondered how he never stumbled across it.

“This is insane,” he eventually huffed and finally closed the book.

No, he wouldn’t play this stupid game, no matter how tempting it appeared. It was just a creepy book, words written by someone who wanted to mess with people or just did it for the money. People didn’t go out and crucified others because the Bible said it, so why should he go and try to talk with the devil because this book said it?

Determined to forget about all of this, Sam took the book and the notebook and shoved them into his backpack. He also put the candles and yarn into it to get everything out of his sight and then, finally, sat back and ate the food he had sitting next to him for two hours now.

After he was done eating and finished his coke, Sam was positive that he wouldn’t do anything crazy. He instead got up from the bed, went to his bathroom and decided to take a long shower to wash all this crap away, if only metaphorically. Sam took his time showering and washing his hair, almost stayed until the water was ice cold and when he eventually stepped out of the shower again, he felt much better than before.

It was almost seven o’clock when Sam was done drying his hair and began dressing. He choose his favorite black pants, the ones that had chains on the sides and was ripped at the knees, a plain, black shirt and his combat boots. For a moment he thought about leaving it like that, but then decided to screw his dad’s complaints and put on makeup around his eyes - mainly because it made him feel much better about himself and people usually left him the hell alone when he did. With a deadly look on his face after putting the makeup on, he nodded at his reflection and carefully let his fingers glide over his eyebrow piercing.

“At least he didn’t rip it out,” Sam mumbled to himself, remembering how Dean had tugged on it the last day. It was still slightly red where the metal pushed through his skin, but there was no infection and he really liked how it had turned out. With a little smile on his face, Sam left the bathroom and got his jacket from the wardrobe - a slightly too big leather jacket that he wore almost every day if possible - and shouldered his backpack.

It was Sunday, so no school or chores around the apartment had to be done, and Sam decided to see if he could find a quiet place somewhere to just sit down and think a little. Thinking was usually impossible at home on Sundays, because Dean would either bring some girl home or annoy him with loud music the whole day and his dad would ultimately get into a fight with his brother about it. Almost every time Sam was the one who had to pay for any of this, since when his dad was done with his brother, he often turned to Sam to punish him for stuff he never did - or Dean would pester him with annoying comments about his appearance or behavior. So, instead of waiting for this to happen, Sam rather spent the day outside alone than mess with his family. It caused much less drama.

Sam sneaked into the kitchen again and made himself some sandwiches for lunch that he put into his backpack, as well as two cans of coke and an apple that wasn’t spoiled yet - Dean and his dad never ate any sort of fruits, so they didn’t care if they were rotting or not. When he left the apartment, both of them were still asleep and Sam couldn’t have been more glad about that.

[iosihexa]

petals for your efforts

ao3 link

warnings: none

ship: dan / phil

wordcount: 1757

extra stuff: tiny trace of pastel dan, dreaded 2nd person POV but according to a few people i pull it off In A Manner That Is Readable, soft, high school setting (ish), i recommend reading on ao3

You catch your first glimpse of him – the real him, you think, or at least a part of him that is a little more raw – at the far end of an overground station platform. Granted, you’re perhaps a bit more than distracted given the dismal weather, everything feeling blurry and a little too bright against the glary pale grey of the clouds, but. He’s there. And he looks miserable, clutching what looks like a delicately wired flower crown with sad, wet petals between his fingers.

For a brief moment, you’re highly tempted to wax poetic about his hands, because they’re beautiful, but there are other issues at hand.

“Hey,” you begin, and wince because you absolutely did not think this through. “Dan, right? Doing alright?”

He stares back at you, hair curling slightly from the moisture – he must straighten it every day, you muse – and then promptly looks back down to his shoes. “Hello, Phil.”

The two of you aren’t really in the same friendship circles. You have been vaguely aware of Dan since the beginning of the school year, but it’s a whole new experience to see him out of uniform and wearing – well.

“That colour looks nice on you,” you comment, gesturing vaguely towards the pale pink jumper he’s wearing, and squint, leaning closer to the little design in the centre of the shirt. “Is that an egg?”

He looks at you again, and you’re satisfied to note that he looks happier now, if a little amused. “Yes. Sunny-side up, so the egg’s name has been delegated Sunny. Also, thanks,” he surveys your own attire carefully, “your, uh. Subtle selection of black clothing is pretty neat, I guess.”

A nervous laugh manages to escape you lips as you gesture towards the flower crown still grasped gently between his fingers. “Can I take that? Perhaps it’ll be good to have some colour on me for a little while. I’ll return it on Monday at school?”

He looks surprised, to say the least. You blame the general concept of toxic masculinity and also the fact that he probably thinks you are the strangest, most uncouth person to have ever interacted with him.

Nonetheless, reaches up and places the flowers in your hair, and studies you evenly. “Looking good,” he says, and winks, and you think that you like him a bit.

DAN: look im just saying but you have to get your priorities straight WATCH THE CLASSICS FIRST god I cant believe you havent even watched fmab yet PHIL: Ok, ok, but sometimes I can’t help but go into the weird obscure things my friends recommend me, you know? PHIL: like it’s not like I know any better PHIL: anyways fine!!! I’ll watch your weird animes. But you have to read that novel I recommended to you. DAN: if it’s along the same lines as a john green novel phil i swear to god i’m never trusting your recs again PHIL: hey! John green’s books aren’t that bad. romance isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. PHIL: and it’s a good book, I promise. It’s exactly the kind of hipstery thing you’d like DAN: what on earth are you insinuating DAN: ok one of the protags isn’t straight I can get behind this PHIL: I can’t believe I managed to peg your interests just like that. DAN: hey, now. PHIL: Just read it. Tell me if you cry at the end :D DAN: i wont DAN: we must discuss this book when ive finished reading on saturday

Your mother is probably extremely glad that you’re getting out of the house of your own accord to meet up with friends for once. Or just a friend. Singular. You’re not about to admit it, but you’re very ready to see Dan in soft, colourful, non-school related clothing again.

He’s sitting in the very corner of the café you agreed to meet at, hunched away over what looks like a milkshake, and you take the opportunity to admire the robin’s egg blue of his shirt, and the demeanour of calmness he seems to have cast over himself, still reading the book you lent him. It’s just starting to sprinkle as you make your way into the shop and order.

“Hello,” you say, and he looks up and his smile stretches across his face languidly, dark eyes making contact with yours – he seemed awkward with eye contact the first time you talked to him at the station those few weeks back, but now it’s fine.

You curse the existence of involuntary physical responses as you heart beats a tiny bit faster, because it’s only been a few weeks, but you do like him. You’re not in denial, just frustrated and perhaps wishing that you could have a highschool romance story like any silly romcom film you’ve watched.

“Thought you were going to abandon me, like the terrible person you are,” he says, still grinning as he pats the seat next to him. “Sit down. We have some important themes and subtextual information from within this book we need to discuss.”

He slides the novel over to you, finger tracing a few lines. “Here, see this? And,” he flips a few pages over, “this? They only talk twice in the whole book – yes, I’ve been rereading – and yet everyone is convinced they’re in love. Remind me why, again?”

You smile back, and push his hand off the book. “You’re reading into it wrong,” and from the way his gaze challenges you, you’re willing to bet you’ll have a fun discussion.

Dan leans his head back on your blanket, somehow already at ease. The late afternoon light is filtering in through the windows, casting hazy, shattered beams of sun onto the bed.

“Your room is exactly as nerdy as I thought it would be,” he laughs a bit, and reaches over to examine the cactus you have placed on your desk. “You’re absolutely the type to name your plants, aren’t you? What’s this one’s name?”

You glance over. “Alistaire the Second,” you say. He lets out his soft, quiet laugh, the one that makes you feel a little bit more intimate and as if he trusts you.

“Of course,” he mutters quietly, then stares at you, not for the first time today. “Let’s paint our nails.”

“Our- what?”

He seems almost disappointed. Almost. “My sister let me take her collection of polishes, and I figured since I’m sleeping over, we should do cliche teenager sleepover things. And, since all the stuff boys are probably supposed to do during sleepovers are a lot less interesting than, say, gossiping about dudes and painting nails, we should do this.” He looks nervous for a moment. “Unless you don’t want to. We can put on a movie whilst we do it though, that’d be cool.”

Nodding vigorously, you set up your laptop and he brings out a suspicious number of glass bottles from his bag, looking a little relieved. You examine his array of colours, laughing a little bit. “Fluorescent yellow, a dodgy shade of mauve, this awful olive colour - this is quite a selection.”

He just does his grin again, and holds up a nice, bright, RGB colour wheel-worthy shade of blue. “This one for you. Actually,” he says, pushing another few bottles forwards, “you can have a rainbow.”

You end up playing Mulan in the background (Disney never fails), and he paints each nail on your left hand a different, horribly bright colour. In turn, you paint all his nails a wobbly black, except his pinkies, which he insists are painted a nice, glossy white. He wiggles his hands in front of your face. You have the urge to lick his hand, just because it’d be gross and maybe annoy him a little bit.

“Piano hands, Philly,” he says, and you look down at your own nails, which have very wobbly jobs as well.

“Uh. Vaporwave unicorn hands, Danny,” you reply, and he does his soft laugh again. Your gut clenches, and you decide you have to tell him before you regret staying quiet for months and months.

“Listen, D-”

“Oh yeah, heck,” he interrupts, jumping off the bed. “Look here, I got you a flower crown, I nearly forgot. We don’t talk about my favour for pastel clothing much, but you seemed to like the one I gave you at the train station a few months back, so you can have this.” He’s holding out a different crown, with slightly smaller roses on it, petals stained pink and orange and looping neatly with a few small leaves. “You don’t wear enough warm colours. Look, even your room is just blues, greens, black and white.”

“Thanks, Dan,” you say, almost whisper, and slot the flowers on your head. There’s a wash of fizzling happiness that rushes over you, and then you steel your nerves, pausing the film. “Listen, Dan,” you start again, and he looks ridiculously concerned for you, a tenebrous expression that you want to wipe off his face and replace with warmth again.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, and you shake your head.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing super terrible. Although I guess it depends on how you take it, but…”

“Oh, come on, Phil, you’re not allowed to keep me in suspense like this,” he jokes, wavering.

Your brain just a one-eighty and you collapse back onto your pillow. The flower crown is dislodged slightly, flipping back and resting against the headboard. “I can’t do this,” you groan, and stretch out your hand. “Here, take it.”

“What?”

“My hand. hold it.”

Silently, he acquiesces. “Um, Phil-”

“Look,” you say, staring at the ceiling fan, watching it spin lazy circles above you, “I kind of fancy you. In, yeah, that kind of way. I don’t know, but I like you a lot, so I guess that’s that. I mean,” you mumble, beginning to ramble, “I know you’re my friend and you probably don’t- ah.” You’re cut off by Dan flopping down next to you, lacing his fingers with yours.

“It’s alright, Phil.” he says, flicking your head. “I think you’re pretty neat too,” and he gives your hand a squeeze. You think about how nice you thought his hands were when you first saw him at the station. Outside, the summery orange tint of sunset has darkened into a shadowy navy, and the sky flashes white and blue with lightning, a thunderstorm carving patterns of rain down the window. “No kissing till the third date, though,” he teases.

You can accept that.

[transssexualheart]

Do all, entertain me so I don't have to do hw

ah man i was actually doing hw for once

1- my name?rain

2- do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow, my brother calls me ron, my friends don’t really call me by any nicknames anymore

3- zodiac sign?leo, borderline virgo 

4- video game i play to chill, not to win?animal crossing

5- book/series i reread?harry potter

6- aliens or ghosts?uhhhh ghosts

7- writer i trust enough to read anything they write?idk if there’s any

8- favorite radio station?i don’t listen to the radio much

9- favorite flavor of anything?watermelon or blue raspberry

10- the word i use all the time to describe something great?idk, i say hell yeah a lot

11- favorite song?robbers by the 1975 probably (im listening to it now lol)

12- the question you ask new friends to get to know them better?i usually ask what they’re doing when we text and they tell and through this over time you hear about their family and intrests

13- favorite word?either “soft” or “gentle”

14- last person who hurt me, did i forgive them?not sure, i think i was the last person to hurt me, and i don’t really forgive myself for anything

15- last song i listened to?robbers by the 1975

16- tv show i always recommend?rick and morty

17- pirates or ninjas?see on one hand i have gay pirates and on the other i have nsp so idk

18- movie i watch when i’m feeling down?probably some pokemon movie lmao

19- song that i always start my shuffle with/wake up song/always on loop song?my alarm is nine in the afternoon by p!atd, i usually shuffle the fiddler on the roof soundtrack starting with the wedding dance song or now i have everything, on loop i usually have do i wanna know by arctic monkeys or sarah smiles by p!atd

20- favorite video games?any pokemon game

21- what am i most afraid of?the people i love secretly hating me or abandoning me or dying

22- a good quality of mine?uhhhhh,,, i guess um. my hair is dark? so it makes it easier to see facial hair and shit on me which is helpful for my trans ass

23- a bad quality of mine?i can’t shut up about anything i’m interested in bc i obsess myself with things that make me happy and always want to talk about them because they’re the the things that keep me alive but it gets annoying and i get a lot of “would you shut up about this subject”

24- cats or dogs?how could i CHOOSE

25- actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?i don’t pay a lot of attention to the actors for ppl in movies, i think the only actor i was willing to go see whatever they were in was u lmao

26- favorite season?spring/autumn

27- am i in a relationship?no

28- something i miss?the way things used to be sometimes

29- my best friend? i’ve considered u my best friend for a long time, if i didn’t delete messages u could probably find me talking to newer ppl (mainly chloe, who was that girl i asked out and rejected me) being like “yeah so she’s my best friend and she’s great”

30- eye color?brown

31- hair color?dark brown

32- someone i love?diakjgbjfgvldgjh

33- someone i trust?i trust u and zee the most

34- someone i always think about?Get Out Of This Home

35- am i excited about anything?dying

36- my current obsession?playing amazing grace on the piano

37- favorite tv shows as a child?i loved sesame street

38- do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?not really

39- am i superstitious?idk

40- what do i think about most?what the fuck do you think 

41- do i have any strange phobias?i don’t think so

42- do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?not sure

43- favorite hobbies?drawing, writing, playing piano

44- last book i read?the great american whatever, great book btw, read it if ur looking for more gay books. warning though for death (that’s not really a spoiler i promise)

45- last film i watched?blue is the warmest color, didn’t finish it tho

46- do i play any instruments?piano

47- favorite animals?cats and dogs

48- top 5 blogs on tumblr that i follow?@ dreamts@ maroonracoon@ hugables@ roswater@ fauning

49- superpower i wish i could have?to pause time

50- how do i destress?what

51- do i like confrontation?no

52- when do i feel most at peace?when i sleep

53- what makes me smile?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54- do i sleep with the lights on or off?off

55- play any sports?no

56- what is my song of the week?idk the week just started my guy

57- favorite drink?grape juice

58- when did i last send a handwritten letter to somebody?idk

59- afraid of heights?not really

60- pet peeve?when u tell someone to stop fuckin touching u and they keep doing it immediately after

61- what was the last concert i went to see?the 1975!! just last night

62- am i vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?no 

63- what occupation did i want to do when i was younger?i really wanted to be a singer

64- have i ever had a friend turn into an enemy?i’ve had fights with friends but we either made up or stopped being friends but aren’t enemies

65- what fictional universe would i like to be a part of?idk

66- something i worry about?friends when they’re sad, i know some of them probably won’t but i still worry about them hurting themselves

67- scared of the dark?yeah

68- who are my best friends?you, zee, shannon, spencer, i could go on but there’s a lot

69- what do i admire most about others?musical abilities, especially with singing

70- can i sing?idk, logically i have no reason to think that i can’t because literally everyone that’s ever heard me sing says it’s not bad or that i have a nice voice but i’m still unconvinced

71- something i wish i could do?sing in front of people without having an anxiety attack, speaking of singing

72- if i won the lottery, what would i do?buy myself and my friends a ton of shit probably

73- have i ever skipped school?i’ve faked being sick to get out of school

74- favorite place on the planet?idk man i haven’t been many places

75- where do i want to live?kinda wanna live in nyc

76- do i have any pets?cat named danny, two fish one named goldy and the other shaneeta dee

77- what is my current desktop picture?an nsp concert but i’ve been meaning to change it for a while now

78- early bird or night owl?night owl

79- sunsets or sunrise?sunsets

80- can i drive?no

81- story behind my last kiss?it was so long ago man i can’t really remember

82- earphones or headphones?earphones

83- have i ever had braces?no

84- story behind one of my scars?idk if i have any but i have a scab that i picked at until it bled in piano class because i was Not Ok and many times after for the same reason and that’s probably gonna scar now

85- favorite genre of music?idk

86- who is my hero?idk

87- favorite comic book characters?i don’t really read comic books much

88- what makes me really angry?when people hurt my friends 

89- kindle or real book?real book

90- favorite sporty activity?idk man

91- what is the one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be???????

92- what was my favorite subject at school?idk man i guess art is ok but i’m not the biggest fan of my teacher

93- siblings?two, one brother and a sister

94- what was the last thing i bought?probably food

95- how tall am i?i think 5′5

96- can i cook?i can make grilled cheese and also pancakes

97- can i bake?if u give me a recipe then probably

98- 3 things i love?my friendspianosleeping

99- 3 things i hate?donald trumpdepressionanxiety

100- do i have more girl friends or boy friends?idk a lot of my friends are non binary or i don’t know their gender

101- who do i get on with better, girls or boys?im tempted to say girls but that’s just bc i have a preference for girls romantically in reality it doesn’t really matter as long as u aren’t a dick

102- where was i born?albany

103- sexual orientation?pan, probably somewhere on the ace spectrum bc sexual attraction is so so rare for me so if i think ur hot u better believe u are

104- where do i currently live?new york

105- last person i texted?you

106- last time i cried?not sure, i think last week when i had that big meltdown that y’all saw where @ hero-art was sending me asks through it

107- guilty pleasure?hhgghg,,hggg, watching vids of u singing

108- favorite youtuber?probably still the game grumps

109- a photo of myselfdamn bitch just search the tag # rain shows you his face

110- do i like selfies?i take a lot, usually just because my makeup looks cool that day, but they’re mostly shit

111- favorite game app?i don’t play game apps

112- my relationship with my parents?:/

113- favorite accents?idk man

114- a place i have not been but would like to visit?metropolitan museum of art

115- favorite number?five

116- can i juggle?no

117- am i religious?no

118- do i like space?it’s cool

119- do i like the deep ocean?it’s pretty

120- am i much of a daredevil?lol no

121- am i allergic to anything?i think grass

122- can i curl my tongue?yeah

123- can i wiggle my ears?no

124- do i like clowns?don’t really have an opinion on them

125- the beatles or elvis?i don’t listen to either of them

126- my current project?my dumbass lab writeup

127- am i a bad loser?i don’t think so

128- do i admit when i’m wrong?yes

129- forest or beach?beach

130- favorite piece of advice?“love everyone, forgive everyone, especially yourself.”

131- am i a good liar?i think so

132- hogwarts house/divergent faction/hunger games district?i’m a gryffindor and i didn’t read divergent or the hunger games

133- do i talk to myself?all the time

134- am i very social?no

135- do i like gossip?maybe? idk as long as no one is hurt

136- do i keep a journal/diary?i guess my writing blog is kind of an over exaggerated diary

137- have i ever hopelessly failed a test?i got a zero on a quiz once if that counts

138- do i believe in second chances?depends

139- if i found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would i  do?get my mom to turn it in to ppl who know what to do with it

140- do i believe people are capable of change?yeah i suppose, but depends

141- have i ever been underweight?no

142- am i ticklish?very

143- have i ever been in a submarine?no

144- have i ever been on a plane?when i was seven

145- in a film about my life, who would i cast as myself, friends, and family?ah man idk i don’t have an extensive knowledge of actors

146- have i ever been overweight?no

147- do i have any piercings?one in each ear

148- what fictional character do i wish was real?idk

149- do i have any tattoos?two, one on my ankle and another on my ass

150- what is the best decision i have made in my life so far?to realize that i fucked up and to apologize

151- do i believe in karma?i guess

152- do i wear glasses or contacts?i need glasses but don’t wear them much

153- what was my first car?none

154- do i want children?depends on who i’d have them with

155- who is the most intelligent person i know?idk man it’s kinda subjective isn’t it?

156- my most embarrassing moment?my whole entire life

157- what makes me nostalgic?old songs

158- have i ever pulled an all nighter?oh yeah

159- which do i value most in others, brains or beauty?brains

160- what color dominates my wardrobe?idk actually

161- have i ever had a paranormal experience?not really

162- what do i hate most about myself?i’m stupid, i hurt and bother others way too much 

163- what do i love most about myself?ok i’m honestly not being a self loathing dick on purpose here i genuinely can’t think of something i love about myself

164- do i like adventure?yeah

165- do i believe in fate? maybe

166- favorite animal?question already asked bro

167- have i ever been on radio?no

168- have i ever been on tv?no, but yesterday i got asked to be (i declined because of anxiety)

169- how old am i?fourteen

170- one of my favorite quotes?“and you know that it’s not good, that there is no good, that nothing good can ever come out of it. but you do it anyway. and then... well. and then you burn.”

171- do i hold grudges?depends

172- do i trust easily?i don’t think so

173- have i learnt from my mistakes?yeah

174- best gift i’ve ever received?well my computer was p good though i payed for part of it

175- do i dream?yeah

176- have i ever had a night terror?yeah

177- do i remember my dreams, and what is the one that comes to mind?i do, and i just remembered the dream i had where there was this weird ass magical storm by my school that happened once thousands of years before on the same day and ppl thought it was a myth but it wasn’t, it was controlled by some ghost of a little girl and it lasted for weeks and eventually within our small shelter by the school people just died arbitrarily and some died from the storm who went out to try and get food and some starved, and soon all that was left was me and three others and it was horrible because every time we closed our eyes we were afraid we were going to open them and someone would be dead

178- an experience that has made me stronger?idk. probably my dad dying?

179- if i were immortal what would i do?try and undo that immortality or send myself into a coma forever because god i already want to die having to live forever would be the biggest curse ever

180- do i like shopping?sure

181- if i could get away with a crime, what would i do?idk man i don’t think about a life of crime much

182- what does family mean to me?people who care about me and love me and that i care about and love back

183- what is my spirit animal?im p sure that as a white person i’m not supposed to have one

184- how do i want to be remembered?for kindness

185- if i could master one skill, what would i choose?being better at piano

186- what is my greatest failure?everything

187- what is my greatest achievement?don’t know, i’m not proud of many things that i do

188- love or money?love

189- love or career?love

190- if i could time travel, where and when would i want to go?nowhere, i don’t want to spoil the future for myself and i don’t want to fuck with the past

191- what makes me the happiest?FUCK off

192- what is “home” to me?being with someone i love

193- what motivates me?i don’t know. not much anymore

194- if i could choose my last words, what would they be?idk, it depends on who i’d say them to

195- would i ever want to encounter aliens?if they’re nice then yes

196- a movie that scared me as a child?coraline

197- something i hated as a child that i like now?idk

198- zombies or vampires?vampires bc baz

199- live in the city or the suburbs?city

200- dragons or wizards?wizards

201- a nightmare that stayed with me?so this is from when i was little, my dad was driving my brother and i to the park and i was in the backseat bc i was tiny. so i said something to him and got no reply, i looked over and he wasn’t in the front seat, he was gone and nobody was driving. i look out the front and we’re headed for a part where we were meant to turn and there’s a giant steep hill and the car just keeps going forwards. it drives up the hill then flips over and crashes and rolls back down the hill and then i woke up

202- how do i define love?oh gosh. it’s in trusting other people to tell everything, even if they don’t “get” you, even if they won’t understand what you mean or how you feel because you trust them. it’s in the way you feel accepted around them. and all the inside jokes and knowing glances and doing everything you can to help when they’re down and feeling at home around them.

203- do i judge a book by it’s cover?a little

204- have i ever had my heart broken?yeah

205- do i like my handwriting?not really

206- sweet or savory?sweet

207- worst job i’ve had?never had a job

208- do i collect anything?ramune bottles and pokemon cards 

209- item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without?don’t think there is one

210- what is on my bucket list?kiss a girl

211- how do i handle anger?vent to a friend

212- was i named after anyone?not with my first name, but my mom gave me my middle name after her friend from college

213- do i use sarcasm a lot?no.............of course not

214- what tv character am i most like?not sure

215- what is the weirdest talent i have?talent. What Is That

216- favorite fictional character?how could i choose one

thanks for asking  

[kinktae]

hi uhm im not trying to be rude but... uhm, why not post the chapters sooner if you have them ready? i've been waiting for days for the last chapter of tempting and now you say that you'll post them this weekend?? why tho???

a valid question lil anon! I was meant to post both stories last weekend but I had a wee little breakdown when I reread ch 12 and realized I hated it and I also hated 13 so I revised both (it’s really not that dramatic it was just an accumulation of everything that’s going on lately) Then on Sunday I got really upset because of a conversation my dad decided to have with me RIGHT AS I WAS ABOUT TO POST and it was like 2am by the time we had finished talking which is way past the time I was going to post the story and I just wanted to go to bed n cry tbh. I still feel bad about not posting this weekend tho so I’m sorry I’ve made u all wait for this long :( as for why I’m waiting til this weekend, i always post on weekends :) if you’re a writer (or creator) then you’re probably familiar with Tumblr’s algorithm, most people (aka my readers) are on tumblr during the weekend since they have more free time so exposure wise it makes the most sense to post it on the weekend! I think I posted one chapter on a weekday once and hardly any of my readers got to see it and then I answered some asks about it and ppl who hadn’t read the new chapter yet saw the ask and I spoiled a scene for them :( sorry if this isn’t the answer u wanted to hear but yeah ily and hope u understand